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lkblackham · 1 year

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Interested in going full cottage core? Here's some stuff you need to expect (from a hobbit-lookin' gal who grew up in the woods):

1) dead animals. Dead rodents, specifically. No matter how well you clean, the mice and rats will come. And your cat will find them. And they will bring their bloodied corpses to you and expect praise. If you do not have cats (which automatically disqualifies you from being cottage core, sorry I don't make the rules), small furry creatures will find other ways to die inside your house. You will find them in your attic. You will find them in your drawers. You will find them under your bed. They are most definitely inside your walls. You may not know it, but you definitely have a wall full of dead squirrels.

Also, *do not get a pool*. It's just another place for cute animals to die and then be discovered by your very impressionable and easily traumatized young children. Also, they're impossible to keep clean. If you're truly cottage core, you swim in a river or lake or ice-cold pond created by the snowmelt. It's better for the drought anyway.

2) BIG dead animals. You want to keep goats? Maybe sheep? That's great. Just know that at least three of them will die suddenly at the worst time, either from snakebite or illness or coyote attack or because they literally just decided to lie down under a nice tree and peacefully pass with literally no explanation. And then you will have to figure out how to bury them. And then how to have the Death Talk with your young, impressionable children who may or may not already be traumatized by the drowned fox they found in the pool a week ago.

Besides good fencing/livestock shelters, or maybe getting a livestock gaurdian dog/donkey/llama (no, I am not joking), there is nothing you can do about the mountain lions, bears and coyotes eating your animals. They were there before you. They will be there after you and the rest of humanity are gone. It's harsh, but that is what the song from the Lion King was actually about: Mufasa's right to eat everyone there.

Speaking of which:

3) you share the land. You do not own it. Oh, you think the bear cares that you bought this patch of forest with money and you don't like him eating your goats and/or peaches?? You can try showing him the deed and the NO TRESPASSING signs, but somehow I don't think that'll work.

Nature does not care. It will do as it does. No matter how good you are at singing and how many birds you befriend. Again, harsh. But not utterly insane. If you respect nature, it will not respect you, but you will at least know what to expect. So gopher-proof your garden. And get a cat.

4) coyote howling is actually quite lovely. Once you get over how eerie it sounds.

5) frogs are LOUD. They are so FREAKING loud. Some nights they will be SO loud you will not be able to sleep. Do not entice them into your yard with a pond unless you are willing to bear the consequences.

6) birds are LOUD. There is no need for a morning alarm, they ARE your alarm. You may think this sounds lovely, but you may not be feeling that way at 6 am on a Saturday after being kept up all night by the frogs.

7) think you'll go barefoot everywhere? Or at least have a good pair of Birkenstocks? No, my child, you will need to invest in at least 6 pairs of gumboots that will mostly be mud by the time spring comes around. Hiking boots are for summer. Unless you're ready for poison oak and ticks. Again, there is nothing you can do about that. Unless you are willing to take the risk and get a brush-eating goat. Even then, remember the snakes I mentioned earlier?

8) you will get desensitized to horror movie scenarios real quick. A cabin in the woods? Bro, that's my house. A pair of red eyes in the dark? That's just a coyote. Maybe a wandering dog. And even if it was a demon, how would it get in my house? That sucker's locked up tight. Creepy noises at night? Like, say, a woman screaming? That's probably a mountain lion or a fox. Yeah, they do that.

You quickly find that the bad things actually tend to happen to people who did not do their nature research as I explained above. Like, say, camping with grizzly bears. Or eating something they found in the woods. What kind of idiot are you??? The kind that eats berries they don't know the name of but think they look like blackberries. That's who.

9) what neighbors you have, may not be the... friendliest. There's a reason people move out this far, and it's usually to get away from other people. Are they marijuana farmers? Probably. Do they want to murder you? What, no, they don't want to get into trouble. They moved here to AVOID trouble. Just keep yourself to yourself and you'll be fine. But definitely make some friends in town. There is a town near you, right?

10) once you get over that initial learning curve/trauma, you will find that the forest actually is a really peaceful place to live. You know the patterns. You learn to read the weather. You are at peace with the fact that your beloved goats may die, but for now, you have succeeded in protecting them. As scary as the wilderness can be, it's far less scary than living with other humans. I'd rather deal with the peach-stealing bear (I am SO onto you) than the creepy dude who lives in the apartment below mine. Humans are far more unpredictable and weird than nature is. But that's just my *opinion*.

Okay, them's my thoughts. Anyone want to add/critique?

#cottagecore #cottage chic #cottage life #cottage living #living in the woods #like a fairytale #fairycore #fairytale forest #fairytale forest living #scuttlebutt

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baldursgate3tempobsessed · 7 months

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Astarion Very Happy Ending

So full disclosure, my Tav was a Selunite, and I can't stop thinking well if Bhaal can have a mortal chosen one, why can't Selune?

Also, spoiler warning, stop reading here if you don't want, but like damn girl I freaking turn a Shar priestess away from her god back to you, free a man from his devil's contact, high-key save the world, kill bhaals chocen, convince my vampiric lover to not sacrifice thousands of people, stop an entire goblin army from murdering Tieflings and druids alike, and literally free your daughter. A reward is in order!

This is that reward:

Astarion was slowly getting used to living in the shadows again, as loathe as he was to admit it. It was quite the transition, despite the fact that his time in the sun had amounted to less than a year. But what a lovely year it was. Nearly a perfect one in comparison to the rest of his life. And the promise of more of the same was a suitable balm to being cursed back into the darkness.

It was difficult, but with the love of his life by his side it was more than tolerable. Borderline beautiful in fact, to be able to live his life so freely despite the infuriating complications.

The money also certainly helped.

That was one thing Astarion always had over his brothers and sisters, his fantasies of a better life had always surrounded around Cazador's murder. Not his approval. He may have been completely unaware of the horrifying dungeon beneath their feet, but he did know where the deed to his estate and other properties were kept. And now had enough connections with the higher up's of Baldur's gate for some frankly exquisite forgeries. It had been a particularly satisfying feeling to sell all of his former master's possessions off, even more so when it came to the land. Almost like he was tearing apart his legacy and handing it off to the highest bitter, piece by piece.

Though, being there with you to find and settle in your own little corner of paradise was an even better feeling. Maybe it didn't quite reach his past dreams of grandeur, but it turned out settling in a quaint and poorly lit townhouse in the upper city was more than enough for him to be satisfied.

It was a good charming life, one that Astarion was sure he didn't deserve. But that certainly wasn't going to stop him from enjoying it. Though as much as he adored where he ended up, he'd be lying if he said it was perfect.

No, perfect would have been finding a way for him to ascend without becoming a monster, living in a world where he could be with you fully, completely, out in the sun like the kind of lover you deserved. It made him feel... startlingly inadequate. Everything you did had to be in accordance to his schedule. His lack of capabilities. And just because you always insisted it didn't matter didn't fix the feeling of inadequacy. He hated it, hated the fact that there were so many hours of the day that you couldn't share. He didn't regret his choice, not for a moment, but that didn't mean he was fully satisfied with the consequences.

But in his own defense, he did make up for it in other ways. Mildly frustrating and draining ways, if not a bit rewarding. It had been his own fault, falling so utterly and completely for such a goody two-shoes. A zealot to Selune, as fierce as she was compassionate, always trying to do what was fair and just. Always dragging Astarion on for the ride of her cleric duties.

But he couldn't blame you for all of his new do-gooder ways. Not when he was nearly the leader of a bizarre cult of repentant vampire spawn.

It was just the slightest bit exhausting to so often be playing the part of their heroic leader, fighting all of his murderous instincts to work for a better future for himself and the brethren he had personally damned. Though he'd be lying if he said he didn't get any satisfaction from it. It felt... good to teach them new ways to live. To give them the chance at the beautiful life he had managed to secure for himself.

He wouldn't do it forever, just until he was confident enough to be sure that his departure wouldn't lead to a massacre on either side. Then the two of you would be off to explore the lands, working to do your goddesses work with just a touch of hedonistic activities on the way.

Astarion was looking forward to it. He hadn't done all that work to be selfless forever. No, he was going to be forced to insist on a few years of having you all to himself, with only the occasional bits of volunteer work for the temple as interruption. Then the two of you could go back to galivanting about the lands being local heroes. But he had earned an extended vacation.

One that, luckily, he hadn't had to fight you on too much. That was just one other thing he loved about you, your complete understanding that Astarion would always be a little selfish, especially when it came to you. The one person who had ever really been his, who loved him, who understood him, who believed in him. Could he be blamed for wanting to have you all to himself?

And admittedly, he did have you more often then not. Even if on occasion he did have to share with your beloved goddess.

Astarion sighed as he watched you pray in the moonlight, completely absorbed in your quiet, mystical chants. Despite his distaste for the length of your prayer sessions, Astarion did like seeing your more ritualistic side. Just... maybe not for the morally correct reasons.

He was well aware that being so involved with a vampire was clearly against your religious doctrine. But it didn't matter. You still choose him, despite how the knowledge nearly made you an outcast amongst your own kind. But he mattered more than your reputation, more than the lessons you had been taught your entire life regarding love and evil.

You still had your faith, but you never let it shake the faith you had in him, something that he valued more than he could ever express. It was perhaps a sick thought, but it also made him feel exceedingly powerful, to know the true extent of your feelings. Even more connected. It was almost... like he was defiling you, corrupting a beautiful flower to turn away from the sun to something even brighter. A love that Astarion doubted most could ever hope to feel.

Perhaps that was not the best outlook on your religion, but oh well. He'd keep those thoughts to himself. What you didn't know wouldn't kill you. Besides... if anyone had been corrupted it was him, plagued with a new sense of loyalty and gods, justice. All from the beautifully strange woman kneeling in the moonlight.

Though, you sure were taking awhile tonight. Nearly twice as long as your usual nightly prayer. He hated to interrupt your worship but this was starting to cut into his time a bit here.

"My dear," Astarion called out, swinging his legs over your shared bed to stand, "Don't you think that you've been kneeling there for a touch too long?"

But you didn't respond, still muttering under your breath, even faster than before.

Astarion narrowed his eyes as he walked closer towards you, confused by your lack of response, "Darling-Tav?"

Astarion stopped, eyes wide as he got a solid look at your first. Your eyes were wide open, body rim rod straight as your irises glowed a vibrant blue light.

What in the nine hells was happening? Astarion kneeled next to you, his heart in his throat as he shook your shoulders, "Tav, love, can you hear me? What is this?"

You didn't answer, you didn't even acknowledge his presence. But you did start floating in the god damn air. Astarion stared, helpless as he watched you levitate, words that he didn't understand spilling from your lips.

Then just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. You fell unceremoniously to the floor. Astarion scrambled towards you, his heart in his throat as you started to come to. He settled your head in his lap, his hands shaking as he touched your face, lost on what he should be doing.

You blinked your eyes open slowly, that angelic glow still radiating from your irises. But you didn't look frightened, more... excited.

You grinned up at him, your voice slightly cracking when you murmured, "We've been blessed."

Astarion stared at you, brow furrowed. He was happy you were alive and speaking but...

"That's lovely?" Astarion tried, "But severely lacking in terms of an explanation. Are you okay?"

You nodded eagerly, suddenly sitting up with an unexpected amount of energy, "I'll explain later, we don't have much time."

What was it that compelled you religious types to be so cryptic? But you didn't give him anytime to question. Instead you wrapping your arms around his neck and smashing your lips together, kissing him hard enough to take his breath away.

He wrapped strong arms around your back, pulling you in closer, always helpless but to return your affection. But something about this was different. He could feel it, holy magic spreading through him through your lips, down throughout his veins, changing something inside of him. It wasn't unpleasant per say, but it certainly was startling. Startling enough for him to almost push you away, if it wasn't for the fact that he trusted you with everything inside of himself.

Neither of you pulled away until the blue fire in your eyes had died out, and Astarion was left with the intense sensation that something had changed, irrevocably inside of him.

You stared at each other, Astarion in confusion while you looked nothing short of gleeful, "Do you feel it?"

He felt... strange. A warmth still spreading through him that was settling. Astarion raised a brow at you, exceedingly impatient when he asked, "First, how about you explain to me what in the hells that was?"

But you didn't answer. Instead you stood with an adorable hop, lending a hand out to help him up, "Do you trust me?"

Astarion almost rolled his eyes as he took your hand, annoyed that he fell for someone that had just as much of a flair for the dramatic as he did, "You know I do."

You helped him to his feet before you started to mumble again, a startlingly familiar incantation seeping from your lips. It was the spell for daylight, the very same that you had used to help defeat Cazador. The kind that could now kill Astarion in mere moments.

He was too shocked at your audacity to even protest, believing for a split, terrifying second that he was about to die a fiery death. Sunlight suddenly filled the room, bright enough for Astarion to tightly shut his eyes.

Then...nothing. No burning, no pain, nothing but the sounds of you both breathing.

That didn't-how was he-what did you just do?

Astarion stared at you, absolutely flabbergasted with his mouth hanging open, staring at the borrowed daylight like a simpleton, "But how?"

You were still grinning ear to ear, looking happier than Astarion had ever seen you before. You grasped his hands in yours, your smile gentle as you explained, "I told you. We were blessed. Our Lady of Silver gave me one gift, and this is what I choose."

If sunlight wasn't already staring him in the face, Astarion would never believe it. But here he was, alive and standing under it's warmth. A gift from a goddess, spent on him of all creatures.

"It can't fix everything," You clarified with the slightest frown, "But it can fix this."

He could feel the truth in your words. He was still... wrong. A creature born of something awful, doomed to eternity and a life of bloodlust. But part of that wrongness had been culled, curling up and dying from Selune's holy magic, from your enduring love.

It was a dream he never thought possible. One that he had accepted never having. But here he was, here you were, continuing to give him the impossible.

It was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Astarion reached up, cupping your face before confessing the truth he couldn't quell.

"I don't deserve you," He whispered, voice hoarse, "I'll never deserve you. Words can't express my thanks. You have given me everything, while I have nothing but myself to give in return. But it's always yours. Everything inside of me."

He meant every word, he always would. Until his last breath.

You shook your head, gentling cooing at him, "This is a time for celebration my love, not for doubt. You've earned this."

He hadn't. And he doubted you'd ever be able to convince him he had. But he'd still take it. Gladly.

"I love you," Astarion murmured, helpless to say anything else. He pressed his lips against yours, the gravity of his new life just starting to settle in his mind.

He was free, as free as he could ever hope for. You had achieved what Cazador could not, all without a hint of malice or horrifying sacrifice. But through kindness, love, and perseverance. You had already freed him once from his own mental shackles, his last remaining ties to the tyrant that made him.

And now you've done it again, saving him from at least a portion of the taint on his soul.

It was beautiful, wonderful, and Astarion would never waste a moment of it.

#astarion #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #spoilers #and that's how selune got herself a cult of 7000 vampiric spawn hoping for the same blessing #this is very fairytale romance #like mr. i'm not a fairytale prince is kind of acting like it here #or is he the saved princess?#up for debate #romance #very romantic #i think #fluff #very fluffy

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