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the-head-ancho-chilli · 1 year

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The Hashira and their Sense of Humor

Apologies for the hiatus! A lot has happened over the last couple of months and I'm finally getting some of them (somewhat) resolved through therapy and A LOT of patience with myself. So here's a post that I written back in October that brings me so much joy! Thank you all for your patience ^^

Word count: 2k~

Mitsuri Kanroji

You know those types of people who want to tell you a really funny story but they need to stop laughing first?

And they've been laughing for the past fifteen minutes?

Yeah that's Mitsuri

I'm not entirely sure what to categorize this either than comedic storytelling

She could probably be a standup comedian too, she has some good stories to tell

But Mitsuri is really in her element when when someone else is telling a mildly amusing story

She will just keep adding onto it to somehow make it even more funnier than it was originally intended

Misturi could make an inside joke between you guys too, she is the designated funny friend of the Hashira

I also feel like she sometimes makes self-deprecating jokes, but not on any serious topics

Like she enjoys poking fun at the fact that she's still single

For an example, Mitsuri and Shinobu could be making an order at a restaurant for lunch

By the time Mitsuri finishes her first round of food and hands the dishes to the waiter, she accidentally drops them causing all the plates and bowls to shatter all over the floor

She tries to help clean up but the staff insists that she shouldn't worry about it

Sitting back down with Shinobu, cheeks red from embarrassment, Mitsuri will crack an awkward smile and say "Yeah, this is why I'm still single!"

Obanai Iguro

Obanai is the most sarcastic motherfucker on this list

I feel like his number one policy is "Don't ask me stupid questions"

He's already annoyed like 70% of the time, just don't annoy him even more

But then again...

"Hey Obanai, did you lose this?" "No I was just playing hide and seek with an inanimate object for fun, YES I fucking dropped it"

"You look really tired, are you doing okay?" "Hell yeah, nothing says healthy like eye bags as dark as my hair"

"Can I pet your snake?" "Yeah you just gotta let him nibble you first but don't worry, he's only venomous"

Usually he's kinda rude about it but he does have his nice moments

"Hey Obanai, can you pass me that?" Obanai will just say no but hand and just hand it to you anyways

Some people just don't understand sarcasm all the time and that's when he kinda runs into some trouble

Obanai and Kyojuro were walking to a meeting together, but Obanai had forgotten his jacket AND haori

It was quite chilly outside too, so poor Obanai was shivering while trying to keep Kaburamaru warm

Kyojuro asked Obanai "My friend, winter is coming! Aren't you cold?"

Obanai deadpanned and said "Of course not, I'm just practicing my acting. Glad to see that my shivering is that convincing"

"How interesting! Maybe you should audition for a play at the theatre!"

Obanai's annoyance kept him warm for the rest of the day

Tengen Uzui

Quite an obvious statement, but Tengen’s humor mainly comprises of sex jokes and innuendos

The man has three wives, of course he would find that shit funny

Like he will be in the middle of a meeting, and everyone will line up to receive some gifts from Kagaya

He will say "Come in a straight line, my students"

Tengen will chuckle and say "That's what she said"

Tengen is also the type to be "gay with the homies" and loves to embarrass Sanemi and Obanai by making jokes about being in love or hooking up with them

He chooses specifically those two because it felt awkward to make the jokes to Gyomei

Tengen once spent forty-five minutes explaining to Kyojuro that he didn't actually want to buy him dinner after Kyojuro gave him a genuinely offended look to the highest degree

"How deceitful of you, Tengen"

He pretty much wrote off saying jokes like that to Kyojuro following that incident, but he really can't help himself sometimes

I don't think that Tengen solely has generic innuendos he uses on everyone, he likes testing what SPECIFIC category of sex jokes makes people uncomfortable

Like if Giyu goes to the bathroom, Tengen will saunter up with a finger gun on his chin and ask "Pissing all by yourself, handsome?"

Everyone is throwing their shoes at him

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Of course this sadistic bastard likes slapstick, what we’re you thinking?

He may be good at holding in a laugh, but you can still see that stupid smirk on his face if anyone stumbles

One time Tengen's six foot ass fell face first while running late to a meeting

Sanemi actually struggled to keep his composure that day, he had to bite his lips together to hide the uncontrollable grin on his face

People getting smacked upside the head, tripping others, people getting violently angry, Sanemi loves it all

He refuses to admit that Zenitsu is funny

Now a regular civilian is one thing, but children getting roughed up is another

there was a particular incident where Sanemi had come across some kids swinging on a tree branch near a market he occasionally visited

This week ass branch definitely didn't have the strength to hold up any of those kids

So Sanemi did what any sane person would, and stuck around to watch this disaster happen

Well unfortunately for this one child, the branch snapped mid-swing and fell right on their face

And there was Sanemi, a hand over his stomach from laughing at these dumb kids

He didn't even stop to help them or anything, just calmed down from laughing so hard and walked away to continue shopping

Shinobu Kocho

An absolute queen of insult humor

Even Sanemi can’t beat Shinobu at her best

Do you even think she would stick with the basic ass jokes? Of course not

She can be an absolute menace if she really wants to

Shinobu is just tired of everyone's shit, and she can get even more exhausted from putting on that smile nearly as much as Kyojuro

She just can't keep up

Which brings me to my main point, which is that Shinobu's funny side usually comes out in rants or vents with the people closest to her

She and Mitsuri both express their humor by storytelling, Shinobu's just originates more from anger an annoyance rather than an effort to be entertaining

Regardless of who Shinobu's around, everyone can tell that when she walks through the door with steam coming out of her ears, everyone's gonna be laughing their asses off

As anyone can agree if they've worked in any form of customer service, there are some days where you are so damn close to breaking your cool

When Tengen got placed in the Butterfly Estate's infirmary, Shinobu was actually going to kill a patient instead of saving them for once

Like this man was just demanding shit and teasing his friend left and right, and Aoi had never been so afraid of her mentor in her entire life

Aoi tried to calm her down, "Sticks and stones Shinobu, don't let him get to you!"

Tengen only snickered

Ooooo, she lost her shit

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but PLEASE. FUCK. OFF"

Angy Shinobu is best Shinobu

Kyojuro Rengoku

Look me in the eyes and tell me Kyojuro doesn’t like puns

I know you can't do it

He will howl with laughter nearly every time you tell him a pun

"Hey Kyo, you're never gonna believe it! Remember my friend with a bakery? Well it just burned down!"

At first he'll show genuine concern, politely shouting "How unfortunate!"

"Don't worry about it, his business is toast"

Give him a minute...

"Ahahaha! Good one!"

Not only does he like being told puns, but if he has a good opportunity to tell a well timed pun he will not stop giggling until he tells it

One time you, Tengen, Mitsuri, and Kyojuro were all trying to decide where to eat after a long day of work

At one point Tengen suggested hotpot, even offering to take you all to one that Makio and Suma liked

Kyojuro tried muffling his laughing, but his attention was redirected when you asked him what he thought of the idea

Finally able to cease his giggles, Kyojuro proudly shouted "SOUPER"

It doesn't matter if you find the joke funny or not, Kyojuro's laughter is so contagious that you're dying at the silly pun

What a fucking dork <3

Giyu Tomioka

If there was a form of comedy that’s applicable at any given moment, Giyu would use it on a daily basis

Luckily for him, Giyu discovered it very quicky and refuses to let the tactic go

That's right, Giyu is physically incapable of stopping himself from making a "your mom" joke

Everyone can blame Obanai for that one

Quite literally at any opportunity, Giyu will mutter the phrase under his breath

Unfortunately, because it has become such an unconscious thing for Giyu, this bad habit of his ends up kicking his ass at the worst of times

with all due respect to Giyu's efforts, it just makes him unintentionally funny

in an awkward way

Giyu visited one of his favourite restaurants on his day off, the waiter asked "Is there anything else you would like, sir?" after giving his order

Now Giyu didn't mean it, he really didn't

It just slipped out of his mouth so easily

"Your mom"

Let me tell you, the silence was absolutely deafening

After the two stared at each other in mutual confusion, Giyu just wordlessly left due to the sheer embarrassment and awkwardness he had caused

He tried to go back, truly, Giyu made the effort and walked through the door

But he made uncomfortable eye contact with that same waiter and walked out

He hasn't gone back to that restaurant since ;,)

Gyomei Himijima

I have already established in my Gyomei Headcannons post that Gyomei is the dad friend of the Hashira (go check out that post if you haven’t btw ^^)

So of course he's going to make dad jokes, everyone saw this coming

God forbid you ever complain around him, he will see it as an opportunity (usually)

"Man, I'm really hungry" Gyomei will hand you a bento box and say "Hi hungry, I'm prepared

He is THAT GUY that makes "I haven't seen you since last year!" jokes

Every single year without fail

Shockingly, Gyomei and Kyojuro will bond over their mutual love for super corny jokes

One time while training Genya, Gyomei asked him "Child, what is long and sticky?"

Genya paused his routine to think for a moment, slightly disturbed by the question

"I don't know what you- fresh mochi?" Gyomei shook his head

Genya made a claw gesture with his hands, knowing Gyomei couldn't see it

"No idea, what's long and sticky?"

Gyomei gave a small, sly smile before responding

"A stick, little one"

To be honest, Gyomei's jokes do annoy some of the Hashira whenever he makes them (mainly Shinobu, Obanai and Tengen)

Normally because he's so calm about it

Tengen usually is one to lose his temper over it though

"You really got a joke for about everything, huh?" "Indeed I do, Tengen. I even have one about construction"

Tengen's eye will twitch as he taunts Gyomei "Oh yeah? Well let's hear it then!"

"I'm afraid I can't, my friend. I'm still working on it"

Kyojuro's laugh echoes throughout the meeting as Tengen realizes he most definitely walked into that one

Muichiro Tokito

His sense of humor is weird

That’s all I have, anything that Muichiro finds funny is actually kinda strange

He does this thing where he will go in with a fistbump, but change it to a high five last second

Muichiro can do it the other way around too, but regardless it results in this silly fist-five thing that makes him chuckle

He's a little bit of a devious child so his sense of humor kinda comes from whatever will annoy the other Hashira

Sometimes he will sit in the middle of a meeting and just blow raspberries while spacing out a little

It annoys the fuck out of Sanemi and Obanai because Muichiro's spit gets EVERYWHERE

Even Giyu thinks that kid comes with his own splash zone

He's not one for pranks per say, but he likes reaping a bit of terror amongst the other Hashira

One time Muichiro stole Tengen's red eyeliner one weekend purely for entertainment

the next day when everyone showed up to the meeting, people got to witness a very distressed Tengen

Holding up Sanemi and Obanai midair by the collar of their shirts, Tengen interrogated the both of them where they hid his shockingly expensive liner

Of course no one would suspect the slobbering kid, who was inconspicuously blowing raspberries

Had anyone asked Muichiro if he saw Tengen's liner, Muichiro would turn to the fuming man and giggle

Secretly, Aoi is Muichiro's unknowing accomplice in these scenarios

"Here Aoi, could you hold this for a while?" "Uhh, sure? What is it for?" "Hmm? Oh nothing..."

Don't underestimate this little shit

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚

Hey y’all! Hope you liked this post, it was such a pleasure to write it ^^

I’m hoping that now I’ll be able to write more for this blog now that I have more time, and I have more posts lined up in the future :)

Ask box and requests are still open, just please read the rules before submitting anything!

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ge-nde-rr-env-y · 24 days

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i played owen carvour in a production of spies in sydney, and tcb i have a confession i added a line. in the man behind the curtain reveal, owen says "if it hadn't been for my spot on aim and interest in foreign policy, i might have been an actor." i had about a month between application and audition and i was sitting on the first paragraph for so long and i got a bit bored. so i added "and you know, being blackmailed by the english" to that list. it added this manic, pained spark to the moment. fuel for the fire.

i dont know what joey thinks about owens history, but i gave him a timeline. born 1926 (nov 14th. scorpio bitch.), his fine family home destroyed in the Blitz, he enlists for some income (and maybe to escape home) at 17 in 1943, too young, but he's slick and clever enough to pass as an adult. 1945, right before the end of the war, he sees something he shouldnt have. the higher ups in a below the table deal that could ruin a lot of rich and powerful peoples lives if it reaches the wrong hands. owen carvours hands were the wrong hands. but he's a remarkable soldier, he's quick, he's a master tactician, and he's Good At Lying. hes useful. so instead of taking him out. someone says "hey kid. howd you like to be a secret agent. -also if you say no you'll die-" no choice. he'll continue to live at the behest of a governments will.

he doesnt Like being a spy, but its not the worst thing in the world. he likes the more decadent aspects, certainly, and deception not only comes naturally, but brings a sort of thrill.

he doesn't like being a spy until he meets curt mega. this part of his history is a bit blurry, but i imagine them meeting sometime near 1952 (because of the song Video Killed The Radio Star), surely on the job somewhere. curt makes spying fun. and curt is the first real thing owen has had reliably since 1943. he doesnt change, hes delightfully predictable, and despite him appearing somewhat less intelligent than owen, he has this knack for seeing straight through to owens heart. curt is daring, where owen might be intially more cautious. curt has the guts to get the two of them *into* situations, where owen has the tactician skill to get them *out*.

i think owen got comfortable. tragically, the two of them were so in sync, so reliant on each other, that he didnt see the fall coming at all.

it wasnt the fall that hurt. it was watching curt walk away. he'd always thought that if this were to happen, theyd go down together.

CHIMERA found him in the rubble, a boy who'd always been controlled, who'd never really got a chance to live a life of his own, and saw a man who was easy both to manipulate, and to empower.

they weren't aggressive about their agenda because they knew what would happen. the founder/ceo (a man i have decided is named Thomas) simply let owen recover in their facilities and let him free when he was able to leave, with an explanation of their plan, and an offer of further help should he require it.

owen broke within a month. a string of killings across europe simply attributed to an individual named The Deadliest Man Alive. CHIMERA drags owen back by the scruff of his neck.

"what the hell do you think you're doing."

"what? who are they going to arrest? owen carvours fucking dead."

its very important to me that owen wasnt brainwashed by CHIMERA. every choice has to come from him because the catharsis of him fully believing in the ideology he carries out with his chest for the first time is just delicious.

he doesnt. hate curt. i dont think. he loves curt, and he hates the institution of Espionage that forced them into this. but ultimately, that institution is so driven into curt that owen cant get what he really wants, which is to break curt out of that and have him all to himself. coldest goodbye reprise is a moment of sorrowful acceptance for both of them. owen understands that curt is always going to be a spy, no matter what, and giving up on the fantasy he had.

#spies are forever #owen carvour #curt mega #tin can bros

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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Steddie brain strikes again!

This time with Steve as a former Survivor style competition winner (he auditioned on a dare from Robin) who sued the production company for defamation of character when the show came out and it was edited to make Steve appear mean and bitchy, when the reality was that everyone else in the cast said that he was kind, helpful, and just a joy to be around. And won. (Steve didn’t know it at the time, but Tommy was the reason he got on the show and had been expecting King Steve from high school and instead got Kind Steve and forced the edits [he got fired after the lawsuit]).

Eddie is a rockstar (of course) and head of Corroded Coffin. The band sells out stadiums but likes to do inimate venues like bars and clubs because it gives them a chance to interact with the their fans.

Steve is one of these fans. And goes to a bar concert dressed as he always does. Tight blue jeans and a polo. And he gets to the front of the line to have Eddie (it’s rare to get a signature from the rest of the band, they hate it) sign a vinyl of his favorite record the band did and Eddie greets him cheerfully, asks for his name. Steve refuses to give it because people might not recognize him any more they sure the hell recognize the name. So he just tells him to address it to Eddie’s biggest fan. Eddie does so but senses that some thing is off and asks what wrong. That’s when Steve tell him that he was told he was a fake fan and couldn’t be there for Corroded Coffin. That he must have wandered off the street or something.

Eddie tells him that he doesn’t care what his fans look like as long as they enjoy their music. And tells him to enjoy the show. Steve nods.

After the signing, Eddie goes back to the green room and talks about the polo guy only for Jeff to tell him who Steve is and Eddie is gutted. And completely understands now why he was so reluctant to give out his name. Gareth then tells him that he was pretty sure that Steve left as he didn’t see anyone like that when he went to go grab something from the tour bus.

Eddie is pissed. He goes out on stage and starts one of his rants. He’s famous for them. About how forced conformity works the other way, too. Just because a fan doesn’t look like a metalhead doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the music. Besides there was no way for them to know why the fan had dressed that way. He could have come straight from work. He could have a home life that makes it hard for him to dress that way, whatever that may look like. Or that could be what the fan likes to wear.

Most of the fans are feeling properly chastised. But there was an asshole close to the front that calls out “Yeah what are you going to do about it?”

“This!” and Eddie walks off the stage.

The crowd is shocked. Eddie Munson just walked away from a concert. Something that had never happened before. Jeff steps up to the mic and says “I’m with him. Free refunds for everyone but that dude. I have your picture on my phone, don’t even try it.”

Then Gareth and Brian look at each and nod. They walk off stage too.

Eddie’s not an ass, he knows he just cost the bar owner a shit ton of money so he goes and finds out how much he’d lose and then cuts him a $5000 check to cover any damage if the crowd riots and they pack up and leave.

The next day Robin comes over screaming about the show Steve was supposed to go to last night. And shows him the video and he turns to her and tells her it’s about him. And tells her what happened last night.

And of course Eddie reaches out and they fall in love.

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #steddie brainrot #ladykailtiha writes

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decepti-thots · 1 month

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something that is very interesting rereading early MTMTE is that the comic is actually very much written with the assumption a ton of its readership are specifically pre-existing IDW comics readers, which can sometimes be difficult to remember because of the fact that a lot of people wound up coming onboard to MTMTE from outside the fandom in the end and now it has a reputation as an entry point as a result. this manifests in a couple ways throughout the first couple major arcs. one obvious one is that the Overlord stuff functionally makes it a sequel of sorts to Last Stand of the Wreckers, at a time no direct sequel was planned. but my favourite is that there's a kind of narrative trick the comic pulls with the leadup to the payoff Remain in Light gives us for Magnus.

the Magnus we get in early MTMTE is not the Magnus we get in earlier IDW comics. he's very exaggerated; where phase one Magnus is a by-the-books stickler for not so much as bending rules and someone we see struggling to maintain that sense of moral uprightness in the face of the war and the people around him being far less dedicated to staying on the straight and narrow like him, it's completely turned up to eleven in early MTMTE. phase one Magnus would not be doing endless doorframe audits, or throwing people in the literal brig for crooked badges. but this doesn't necessarily register as a change in character so much as a change in genre. MTMTE is also a dramedy with heavy emphasis on the comedy side of that in a way no other IDW comic is, and the shift in Magnus' characterisation therefore feels like 'well in THIS genre, that's what that archetype is like', rather than a diagetic shift in character. even if you come to MTMTE straight off those prior comics, it is very much a 'roll with the genre shift' thing rather than a 'hm. Magnus is acting… weird' thing. you let it go.

there are a couple indications this might not be the case early on. Rodimus especially seems to be under the impression that Magnus is acting uptight even for him, with his insistence on waving it off like 'he needs to relax, Swerve can you get him to chill on Hedonia because my guy is REAL stressed' and the like. (this makes sense- Rodimus is the person on the ship who has actually been directly interacting with Magnus regularly pre-MTMTE.) but it's not super obvious and not heavily emphasised.

which makes the eventual post-Overlord and RiL reveal, which is that Magnus has in fact been acting weird because he's having a breakdown that has largely gone unremarked upon by his shipmates, really really good. Magnus has not been doing doorframe audits because he's the comically uptight second in command acting as straight man for genre purposes; Magnus has been sending Rodimus a million memos a day and losing his shit over nothing because as someone whose entire identity as 'Magnus' is rooted in a wartime role he escaped into, he's been having an existential crisis now the war is over and he has no purpose and doesn't know what to do because he never expected to have to play that part in peacetime. the entire time the genre shift was somewhat obfuscating the fact this characterisation was a thing that is in-universe relevant, which also then reflects back on the fact Rodimus is like. hm. probably should have noticed that, now I feel like an asshole for not realising. (the scene where he and Rung discuss those unread memos, post-Overlord.)

it's a small thing, but it's a really effective misdirect for the payoff Magnus gets in RiL that reads a hell of a lot more clearly on reread and rewards that chance to revisit the early issues with that knowledge. of course that wasn't just a gag, of course he's actually slowly losing his shit slightly, he cannot go five seconds without making it clear he is Stressed As Hell. but until you get to that actual reveal, there's just enough room for the comic to let a reader assume it's, you know, we're in a comedy now, we need a hilarious straight man, and Magnus is it. it's great! all the stuff MTMTE pulls to simultaneously obfuscate the Magnus/Minimus reveal while also making it feel completely reasonable on reread is great. really good use of reader bias there.

#idw #meta #ultra magnus

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preservationofnormalcy · 6 months

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[It is January of 2022. I’m entering a wing of the DC Office site that looks older than the others. The carpets are a strange brown, vintage looking, and the lighting casts an almost yellow pallor over the wood paneled walls. I can practically smell the cigarettes. I pass by an empty room labeled “social media office” - boxes piled up by the door. Maybe they’re going to be using it soon. They’ll need it.

I approach a door labeled Necrocommunications, knock lightly twice, then enter.

I am greeted with the sound of a voice drifting softly across the room. A few chairs and tables sit around me, the same vintage style as the hallway before, the same browns and yellows. A high desk is across the room, and a woman is seated at a control panel. She has black curly hair, done up in an old fashioned style, a polka dotted blouse, and though she’s facing away from me, I can see the edges of cats-eye glasses.

The panel she’s working at is huge, and resembles the type of switchboards they used to use in the ‘50s, dozens of physical wire connections crisscrossing the device and attaching via plugs. The woman has a headset, one ear covered in a bulky speaker, with a microphone near her mouth. She speaks casually, with an incredibly heavy New Jersey accent.]

I] Oh, him? He’s circled, babe. Taken as hell. Mhmm. And he still asked you? Ain't that a bite. So now you know he’s out of the question and yarding on. Dodged a bullet, hun.

M] Irene?

I] Oh, god, hold on. My appointment is here. Yeah. I’ll call you later, beautiful. Caio.

[She hung up the call, taking her headset off and turning to me. She looked like she was straight out of my grandfather’s high school photo album, including the color. Her skin was almost grey, it was so pale, but she didn’t seem like she was sick. She looked me over with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, leaning forward on her desk.]

I] Well, hello Miss Meghan Hendricks. What can I do for you, sugar?

M] I’m here to interview you for my audit, Ms Donofrio.

I] All business, aincha?

M] This is my job.

I] ….yeah, you’re right. Sorry. I don’t get cute visitors much.

M] Right.

I] Pull up a chair, hun.

M] I’ll just stand. This won’t be long. I came here because of your Occult Communication Tools poster.

[She sits back with a dramatic sigh.]

I] Yeah, took me forever to convince them to let me do that. We had agents using spirit boards, pendulums, casting runes, tarot cards, ghost boxes, all kinds of shit they brought from home. Bought from Walmart, or worse, a thrift store. I was always telling them, honey, baby, you gotta use our stuff, we maintain it, we disinfect it of ectoplasmic residue, lockout-tagout procedures, the works. It’s so, so unsafe to use anything but our tools. Sure, you gotta do paperwork when you check it out, but it’s better than somethin’ following you home…

M] Right into it, I guess. That’s what Necrocommunications does, right? Talk to the dead?

I] You bet, sugar. The dead, demons, angels sometimes when they ain’t on our plane or in realspace. Other little spiritual twerps and bugaboos.

M] I’ve been asking this a lot in the last few months, but…you can do that? Consistently?

I] Consistent enough to make it worthwhile. S’not perfect. Fails most of the time, depending on who you’re calling.

M] How so?

I] Well, some people don’t wanna be called. Some people are chatterboxes. We got a list of likely contacts who we suggest people contact, but…we do other people sometimes, too. Always worth a shot, I say.

M] How does it work?

[At that, Irene winced slightly and wagged her head from side to side.]

I] We got theories, but more importantly we got procedures. We know different things work for different people. Sometimes it’s cultural. The method that contacts Mr Smith may not work for Mr Chan, y’know?

M] It’s mostly for information gathering, then. Like the Board of Infernal Affairs.

I] Information gathering’s a big part of it. Someone died with a secret? See if they got loose lips now. Also, y’know, helps with hauntings or gettin’ rid of little jerk spirits.

M] You mentioned disinfection….

I] Yeah, yeah, there’s….risks, y’know. Sometimes the person you contact ain’t a fink, you know, and they start a whole new haunting. Sometimes one spirit’ll lie and say they’re another. Then they follow you home, start leeching your energy. Happens less when we cleanse the tools. Which is why there’s procedures for this, and every Office staff member in the building is trained on at least the basics.

M] Is it….is it only for Office personnel? Is it something I could…

[Irene’s face grows into a playful smirk as she hears the hesitation in my voice, leaning her face in her hand.]

I] You got fifty cents?

[She leads me into a back area of the office. Lining the walls in storage containers are row upon row of spirit boards, each box with a paper listing the dates each was used and then cleaned, along with the name of the person who did it. There are other items, too - pendulums, bags of runes, spirit boxes like you see on ghost hunting shows, and other devices and artifacts I don’t recognize. Irene’s attention, however, is on a phone booth at the end of the room. It’s clean but battered, clearly old and used. It has no door, but an open front, and above the phone itself is a depiction of a figure on a boat, with one word beside it: “Charon.”]

I] We confiscated these in the 80’s. It’s easier to use this one than have to sign out spirit board, y’know.

M] Weren’t you just complaining about that?

I] I complain about a lot of things, sugar.

[I approach, standing before the phone in disbelief. Irene senses my hesitation.]

I] Put in the money, then use the keypad to type out the person’s name. It’ll take it from there. Who you gonna call? Grandma? Mom?

M] My brother.

I] Ah. Shit, honey.

M] He died in California. Two summers ago.

[As I reach for the receiver, I see Irene’s face freeze in some sort of concern.]

I] H-honey, that…was he in—

M] Yes.

[I put my hand on the receiver, and I feel her hand on mine. She’s cold. She’s so cold and clammy that I jump slightly and look her in the eyes. Her face is sorrowful and scared, searching me.]

I] Honey…you won’t be able to—

M] You said—

I] If he was in…there’s no one there, sugar. He’s gone.

M] I know he’s gone, but you said I could—

I] No, no, he’s…if he was…he’s gone, gone. There’s nothing left of him. You can pump quarters into that thing all night long and you won’t get anyone.

M] H…how? I was…I was on the phone with him when it—

[As I watch, her eyes go wide, and she covers her mouth.]

I] Th-that’s how you remember, isn’t it? Thought you were just…in the Office but you hadn’t known about…that’s how you remember.

[I let go of the receiver. I can’t feel my fingers. I’m shivering, but not from the cold.]

M] I know how I remember. What I want to know is why everyone else forgot.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #interview #necrocommications #necromancy #microfiction #sci fi #horror #writers on tumblr

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fuck-customers · 6 months

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I think this might be the case at other stores, but I don't have enough work experience to really know.

Does anyone else's corporate/bosses/higher ups semi-regularly become extremely obsessed with "improving the numbers" of a certain thing and force all the employees to obsessively do X thing to improve X numbers and make their lives hell for a few months and then completely drop it? Lmao

I'll give you 2 examples that I can immediately think of.

A few years ago at a job, maybe 3 years ago, the managers/corporate/whoever were OBSESSED with our greeting numbers. Like when a customer walks in the door, they were on our ass to greet them and say "welcome to [store name]" or at least "hi, welcome in" or some kind of acknowledgement. (Personally I didn't find this TOO irritating, more mildly annoying, however it did cause me to have a weird pavlovian response to automatic doors to the point where I've accidentally said "hi welcome in" when I was a customer in other stores with doors that made the same sound lmao rip) And then after a few months, they just totally dropped it. I haven't been told to welcome anyone in, haven't even heard a peep about any greeting numbers in at least 2 years.

The current one is still ongoing, but is tapering off.

About 2 years ago, corporate or whoever the fuck decided that we absolutely needed to start harrassing our customers into handing over their personal information in the form of their email, and then after we got a new register system, their phone number, under the guise of a "rewards system" that didn't exist.

(Sorry, side tangent here- this one is SO shady. I've never been able to get a straight answer as to WHY we need to get the info from customers or WHAT benefit it would have for customers, you know, since they were rightfully asking why they should provide this information. I had a manager say it was a "rewards system" and then when I asked how the customers could earn points and how I could view their points to tell them how many points they had or how could I apply their reward to the transaction, backtracked and said there was no rewards. Bro what?? This manager would tell customers themselves this, minus the part about it all being a lie, of course, so customers would get pissed because they weren't getting discounts that didn't exist. And THEN after this "rewards system" bullshit blew up in his face, the manager said that the phone numbers were so in the rare event that a customer MIGHT want to return an item but lost their receipt, they could do a return through their phone number. But....we've ALWAYS been able to do no reciept returns...it just had to be a manager who processes the return...the manager who was lying to me about all of this shit...hmm...)

ANYWAY, managers were pretty rabid about the stupid ass phone numbers and what each employee's individual percentages were and would publicly shame employees with low percentages by posting everyone's scores in the breakroom and highlighting those with low scores and put a condescending note like "[name] and [name] need to try harder" or "too many numbers below 70%" or whatever. And it was all the managers would talk about: how many numbers you got, how to increase numbers, tactics for manipulating people into giving their personal info, etc. etc.

And then it started tapering off about 6 months ago and for the past month or so, I have not heard a single peep about phone numbers or percentages or scores or whatever.

So what the fuck was that all about? Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Is this common or is my workplace nuts?

I know with the companies I worked for they would hire an outside audit agency to come in and look at our metrics and if one was low (i.e. not greeting) they would focus on that until the next one would say we were not promoting the rewards program. Next time it was asking if they found everything.

I'm not saying every company is like that but three of the ones I worked for did that.

-Rodney

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silvergeek · 2 years

Text

I had no idea that Tolkien fans were so nasty and racist.

Any time I try to look up any information about Rings of Power, comment sections are overwhelmed by racist freaks. I swear to fucking god, these people don't have anything worse going on in their lives other than a film studio hiring a Puerto Rican to portray an elf or a black English woman to play a dwarf. (Even Isildur is too ethnic for some of these fans. Like jfc, so sorry he's not a WASP.)

What blows my mind is the sheer number of complaints, just about each one of them starting with, "I'm not racist but..." and ending with this rant insisting that Tolkien wanted all of his fictional little magic characters to be white. (Ok. Fair enough. He probably DID envision them all as white. He's a dead guy who was born in the fucking 1800's.)

Lol. "I'm not racist but I can't stop obsessing over the hobbits' skin color!" Jesus christ.

1. I'm currently re-reading the Silmarillion and nowhere does it explicitly state that everyone must be Caucasian.

2. There are numerous citations about some people actually having darker skin (e.g. harfoots).

3. The people who are screaming, "But this is OUR contemporary European mythology! Stop shoehorning black people into it!" Newsflash: there are black Europeans, assholes. Born and raised in your fucking countries. They know no other culture aside from --whichever country they gotta put up with your shit in. (Yes, my grammar sucks. Fuck off.) Why the hell do you act like these people do not exist?

I can't say the USA is any better with these attitudes, but I thank the fucking stars for having visibly outspoken, politically active African American women to keep our bullshit in line.

Imagine being a woman or a POC (or both) and anytime you apply for a job, audition for a role, or enter into any sort of competition and actually win based on your talents/skills, just around the corner there's a legion of assholes screaming that you were only picked because of tokenism. Imagine going through life being told over and over that your effort means nothing and that anytime you succeed at any given thing, you're just being pandered to. And imagine that the people saying this shit to you are pretending to be on YOUR side. And imagine, just for a moment, that these same people happily watch white guy after white guy walk into success and never ever question if whether or not their white guy peers are playing favorites -- because surely those people are impartial in all of their decision making. (Did they pick a white guy? It's an impartial choice! Did they pick a black lady? WOKE BULLSHIT PANDERING::blood erupts from esophagus::)

Imagine all of that, then go take a nice big shit in your garage.

Also, this uruk hai is totally gonna eat this little boy. Off topic, really. The pic is just there to get your attention.

Between the nasty backlash of Sandman and Rings of Power, complete with death threats and everything, I have to say this takes me back to the uprising of Gamergate.

They performed all of these same hate rituals, but aimed squarely at women in gaming. Zoey Quinn caught the brunt of it -- people even figured out her father's home phone number and made threatening calls to him.

I remember Anita Sarkeesian would have to cancel expos due to bomb threats.

These are typically the actions of some subhuman demographic, mostly male, aged 20's to 50's, typically white (not always) and either straight or profoundly closeted. Politically... they tend to think of themselves as freedom lovers, but at the root of their ideologies, you'll find stagnant traditionalism dancing in rhythm with contemporary neo-conservatism. Freedom for them, not for anyone else.

These are the people who don't want women to design video games, they don't want black/hispanic/Indian folks in their TV shows except as forgettable side characters, and they don't want the gays. Never ever with the gays. (And anything beyond "gay" doesn't exist in their minds. It's made up.)

I remember all this back in 2014. They review bombed games, in fact. They were a bunch of keyboard warriors for the most part. They eventually lost, because now we have a more diverse gaming industry. Most of them can only find their male gaze fixations with the big-tittied anime girls in obscure JRPG's pumped out by Japan, China, and Korea -- at best.

They're just scum. They really are. And they hate change. And they're cowards.

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elvisabutler · 1 year

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quiet on the set ( part one )

summary: once upon a time there was a female director who happened to be a bit of a nepotism baby despite her father's known distaste for them. once upon a time there was a singer turned singing actor who just wanted to be a serious actor. this is the story of how those two people meet, kind of hate each other, make two award winning films together and fall in love along the way somehow. fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t, this part at least pairing: elvis presley x original female character word count: 3159 warnings: negative self talk. the colonel. talk of nepo babies. anxiousness. mild period typical misogyny. a whole thing about how transatlantic accents are the worst. playing a bit loose and fast with history. a use of the nickname princess that will exist this entire fic. author’s note: i have had this brewing since december. i've been trying to just straight up finish it before posting but i am truly at this point the most impatient and want to share it with everyone. it's based on a post by @steph-speaks who mentioned a female director and elvis winning awards and then @headfullofpresley and @burninlovebutler got at it and then oops angst. not spoiling it but this doesn't go exactly like the post i promise. i also can't find the post but steph has known about this for a long time. beyond that, so, few things of note, alfred hitchcock's actual daughter had said that he didn't believe in nepotism but i am deciding that in the case of a daughter who wanted to follow in his footsteps, well he could make an exception. in addition, transatlantic pictures shut down after three films but for the sake of this story, i do what i want and no it didn't. beyond that, picture elvis or austin elvis, works well either way i like to think. and special thanks to christi, bee, birdie and marina. i'd tag all of y'all but you're in the taglist so it seems silly. but those four have kept this chugging along more than i'm willing to admit. also credit to marina for the moodboard.

"That's the director?" Elvis asks a bit incredulously, narrowing his eyes at his manager, Colonel Tom Parker. "The one whose daddy gets her all the movies n' scripts she'd like and they turn out kind of good? That's who they've got directing this picture?"

Wasn't that just great, he's got one last shot to make a good- an honest to God good film and he's stuck being a part of the little Princess's latest vanity film. Well, he's hopefully stuck doing it, because while the Colonel assures him that he's going to be in it, that they'll have the contract whipped up in a jiffy but- she's insisting on an audition. Imagine that, him having to audition for a film, it's mildly embarrassing is what it is. He knows- god he knows his career isn't hot, knows that even with the special he's whipping up with Binder and Bones that his career's in the toilet like Binder said. But to have him have to audition for a picture that was a remake of Brando picture? It's an insult and an embarrassment to both him and her even if he figures this is the one time he can fully guarantee he won't have to croon some set of songs that the Colonel insisted get shoehorned in.

"My boy, they asked for you specifically, something about how they wanted a true Southern man in the role this time." The Colonel tries to explain before Elvis runs his tongue over the front of his teeth in frustration.

"Ain't from New Orleans, Colonel. Hell ain't even from Louisiana. Won't sound like Stanley's supposed ta-"

"Nonsense, you don't need to be exact. Just good enough. I've got you another picture! And they're paying you more than than the others." Elvis wishes that hearing that they're willing to pay him more didn't make his ears perk up but it does. It reminds him of how his daddy was mentioning they could use a bit more cash unless he wanted to get rid of some things or some workers.

"'nough to keep everyone happy?" Elvis asks gently, worried the answer is one he's not going to want to hear. He just needs to know his- needs to know his daddy isn't going to remind him of the cash flow problems.

"And more, my boy. It'll put you back on track, hm? I'll have to talk them into some songs but her producers and Miss Hitchcock herself know my demands." A beat. "Our demands."

Elvis can feel the migraine already starting to form behind- or maybe it's around- his eyes and finds himself leaning back against the chair looking up at the sky. It's almost as if he wants to ask his mama if it's the right thing to do. This- He remembers Streetcar, remembers his Mama thinking that Brando was good- great in it but telling him it was a shame a real Southern boy didn't get the part. Now that he's been in the movie business he understands why, understands that making a man from Nebraska talk like it is easier than letting a Southern man do it but find himself without a job because he can't shake how he sounds in a way that makes people- all those who like that accent they call Transatlantic- uncomfortable. Like sounding faintly hoity toity didn't make most people feel dumb as a bag of rocks and feel like Hollywood might be making fun of them. He might have lost his accent a little- consequence of being in California, he figures, he still knows he sounds a hell of a lot closer to Stanley than Brando did.

"Ya- Ya know I don't gotta record anythin' for this. This- this ain't a film that you can put 'em in. People- People won't be expecting that with me playin' him." He manages to avoid the natural infection he wants to add to the end of that sentence. Manages to avoid turning it into a question because he's not entirely sure. His pictures aren't doing as well and he's bored out of his goddamn mind with them, but is it because of the songs or is it because of him?

"That's what will make it different." The Colonel says with a smile that makes Elvis bite the inside of his mouth just a little in frustration. He wants to fight, to argue right now but it's not worth it to even try so he nods slowly earning an even larger smile. "I'll iron out the details. You just- knock her socks off, hm?"

A sigh leaves Elvis's mouth as he nods. He can feel the dreams he had for this film starting to crumble in his mind. The vision's already there, instead of screaming- shouting- bellowing Stella's name, he'll be singing it. Singing about how he needs her and how he's a fool. The same old song and goddamn dance for him to do so people can maybe buy tickets. Maybe see him in something they'll think is a departure from everything but is just more of the same bullshit masquerading as fun entertainment. Mr. Williams- Tennessee's gonna be mortified he let the Princess touch his film and cast him, gonna be mortified a fellow Southern man did his work so dirty. He can faintly hear The Colonel talking but the words honestly don't matter to him any more, washing over him like as if they're nonsense or a different language. Elvis stops nodding and giving appropriate hums after a while and finally was left in blissful silence to contemplate what exactly he had agreed to.

The day of the audition it's raining which Elvis thinks he should have taken as a sign from God that something was going to happen. What that particular thing would be he couldn't know but rain like this when the day before it had been sunny and bright? Hell, when earlier in the day it had been. The umbrella he had kept most of the water from drenching him but it was a near miss as he entered the building. Now, he knows very well where he's supposed to be, he had been told the room, had it written down on a piece of paper, everything, but here he was with a brain feeling half waterlogged and a piece of paper with smudged ink he couldn't read any more.

Well, he could read part of it. Something with the number eight in it assuming that wasn't just the ink smudging to make a zero turn into the eight. It shouldn't be that much of a problem, he doesn't know Warner Bros lots and buildings as well as he should but it's not like there should be that much of a difference between places- between studios. It should be easy enough to find, just look for all the places that had an eight attached to them and he's got to find her in one of them. He just hoped she wasn't a stickler for being on time given the circumstances. Hell, it's not as if this sort of thing was something he prepared for and planned to get caught having a problem with. Then again, maybe he'd get lucky, have a nice third time's the charm moment with rooms he tries.

Eighth time was the charm is what it was beginning to look like. How one place could have so many things that had things involving the number eight he has no idea. He looks at his watch and frowns, he's now almost thirty minutes late and what does he have to show for it? He still hasn't found her or anyone who's been able to even direct him to her. There's a part of him that's about to throw in the towel in sheer aggravation when he opens the door to reveal a woman just a few years younger than him looking so composed and polite he'd have thought he was looking at Princess Grace Kelly herself. Her brunette hair was pulled into a tight bun that somehow didn't make her look too harsh and instead seemed more practical than anything else. His eyes scanned her form starting with heels that he imagined gave her height but also served to lengthen her legs, not that he thinks she needed it, not that much at least. The longer he stares the more he swears she seems familiar but perhaps that feeling is just from the fact that she's another human being who looks like she just might be able to tell him what he needs to know. That she looks- reasonably attractive and has his eyes settling on her ample hips for just a hair longer than he should doesn't mean anything. Elvis manages to take a deep breathe before strolling in like he owns the place and stopping right in front of the woman in the room, completely ignoring the camera that is in the room.

"Thank God, someone who might be able to help- 'm supposed to be goin' to an audition. I know, having me audition for somethin', right? But I'm supposed to be auditionin' for Ms. Hitchcock and I can't find the room she wanted me t'have me do it in. And now I'm runnin' just a bit late and I figure she's gonna have a fit 'bout it." Elvis realizes he's mildly rambling and finds himself pretty thankful that by the grace of God he isn't stuttering from the nerves he feels in relation to this audition. The more he looked into it the more he realized she's a tough sell and is known for- bringing things out of her performers that make him excited- even if he's still so apprehensive- to maybe work with her. His eyes fllt to the camera, finally deciding to take his eyes off of her and her disapproving gaze. "Why are you in here with a camera by yourself?"

Her lips curl into a wry smile before she purses her lips and just lets out a slow exhale. "Imagine Mr. Presley having to audition for Ms. Hitchcock. I know who you are, Mr. Presley. But I take it you have no idea who I am. After all, I don't appear to be having- oh how did you put it- a fit about you being late. I did see the weather outside. Nasty bit for California if I'm being honest." She pauses and looks at him like she's peering into his soul before standing up and walking to him, holding out her hand when she finally reaches him. "Catherine Hitchcock, the reason you're having to audition."

Elvis is entirely aware that if he had a mirror in front of him he would get to witness his life flashing before his eyes and see the color drain from his face. He had just- She had just let him go on and embarrass himself. Formality or not, this was not how he needed to have things start out with him and her, especially since he's been practicing over and over and he wants this to work, wants to earn his place in this film. The Colonel may think it's a done deal but he doesn't think so and the more he looks at Catherine the more he thinks he's right. This would be the perfect excuse to keep him away from this film. He's not punctual, he's insulting, he's-

"Why, so you can tell me I'm too Southern for a picture that takes place in New Orleans?" The words slip out before he has a chance to stop them, his brain deciding he needs to defend himself from what slight it feels she committed against him. "Been told it's a formality, Ms. Hitchcock. They tell me wrong?"

Catherine tilts her head just so in a way that's infuriating to Elvis. She's studying him like he's beneath her, like he's some bug she's found in the dirt and is inspecting to see if she wants to keep. "I don't need a singing actor. They told you wrong, this is a serious audition and one I'm beginning to doubt you-"

"Prepared for?" He finishes her sentence with a huff of a laugh, shaking his head as he backs up a little. "Nice to know you're every bit the princess I figured ya were. Can't handle other people gettin' in on-"

"Mr. Presley." She warns as she moves back to her table and shuffles some papers before sitting back down. "I don't- you are thirty minutes late, we don't have time to- I need you to focus. We're busy people, are we not?"

His eyes slide down her form once more, noting how her relatively ample chest is heaving just slightly in frustration as she looks at him and he wrenches his eyes from the view as he nods. "Considerin' I gotta head to talk t'some more people, I'd say yeah. From the top, then?"

Catherine nods, moving to fiddle with the camera in order to attempt to tape this audition. "Yes, Mr. Presley, from the top."

What transpires next is the longest three hours of Elvis's life. He's heard about English women, sophisticated women being hard to crack, heard about them being hard to get a read on but if there's one thing he knows, it's how to read someone- how to read women specifically. Even though he had been such a nervous boy and young man, he knew how to charm them nowadays. Knows the ins and outs of their faces and how he knows that he's pleased 'em. But Catherine is blank, she's blank and silent. All the other directors had mentioned things he might need to change when between takes or between different lines. Yet here she was leaving him to drown in uncertainty. Leaving him to drown without offering a life preserver to tell him he's doing good, to tell him she likes how he's approaching things. He's pretty sure he'd take her telling him he's atrocious versus this silence. Is this how people feel working with her father? Is this why- no Elvis can't dwell on it, can't dwell on the possibility that Little Miss Princess Hitchcock is going to be cruel enough to tease him with a part only to deny him it. Elvis starts to open his mouth to begin again before Catherine holds up her hand and shakes her head.

"I've seen enough, Mr. Presley. Heard enough of your voice for today, I'm afraid." Her tone sounds bored, he thinks, but maybe that's just how she sounds in general, maybe that's not a true sign of her dislike or enjoyment of his performance. He wishes he was able to read off of whoever's playing Blanche, oh he knows he could have shined better. Shown off how good he is playing off of other humans and not a wall of silence other than required lines. He runs his tongue across the front of teeth before his lips twist into a frown of sorts.

"That it then? Ya done wit' me?" Elvis asks and there's a small part of him that knows he means it a multitude of ways and not just if she's done with him today. Catherine's response startles him when she nods with a certainty that has his stomach dropping to the floor.

"I'll be in touch if you got it, Mr. Presley. After all, I never did say it was a guarantee. To you or to Colonel Parker. If he told you any different, that is entirely his fault." Her body easily moves to stand up and starts to grab the roll of film. "Your voice suits him well enough, though, I suppose. If you can shake any lingering California traces."

"I don't have any-" Elvis starts before he hears the tap-tap-tap of her heels against the floor and feels her finger on his lips.

"You do. Now, if you excuse me, do go and handle your business that I've kept you from, I'd hate to be known as someone who caused you problems like that." She pauses, and turns around, leaving Elvis to stare at her backside and the way her high waisted pants are somehow perfectly tailored to her body and- he was not going to dwell on that.

Words and defenses that are on his lips died as soon as he felt her finger against his lip so he nods and gives her the largest and most sincere smile he can manage. "'Course. Have a good day, Ms. Hitchcock. Lookin' forward t'workin' wit' ya. If ya go with me."

There, that's what he needed to do, to plant a seed so she'd know he was serious about this job, that he was serious about wanting this for so long and no one wants to give him a chance to prove himself. This time he could do it though, this time he wanted to do it and this time he wants to hear some form of praise coming from her mouth. He leaves the room as he hears her sigh and hears a small creaking noise from the chair.

Waiting for Catherine to call him involves days that feel like blurs and yet feel like they never end at the same time. Nothing to the Colonel, nothing to him, not even her calling to tell him that he was the worst actor she had ever come in contact with. Two whole weeks of being on edge waiting for some knowledge only to be let down every single day. It's the 8th of the month now and he hears the phone ring and Elvis swears he's never moved so fast as he has from the front door of his house to the nearest phone. Catherine's voice rings out through the phone and Elvis finds that he's holding his breath.

"Stanley Kowalski?" She asks and Elvis feels the breath he was holding rushes out of his mouth in a flash. "I'm teasing, Mr. Presley. But, I'm formerly telling you that you've- With you I do believe I found my Stanley. If you're willing to-"

"Ms. Hitchcock I'm willin' t'do anythin' to do him justice. Know I'm not Brando- but- you won't regret this and I'll- I'll rein in the Colonel, won't have him addin' songs." Elvis cuts her off and he hears what he swears is a small smile in her voice before she shushes him.

"I'll believe it when I see it, Mr. Presley. Don't be late for the first day of shooting, hm. Come rain or shine." Catherine's voice almost sounds like she's teasing but Elvis can't tell. It's probably what influences his response more than anything else.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Princess." He responds before hanging up the phone.

It's only afterward when he's laying in bed that he realizes that quick hang up might have been a mistake. Even if she is a little princess, he probably shouldn't have called her that like he did.

"Shit."

taglist: @blurredcolour, @ab4eva, @precious-little-scoundrel, @butlersxbirdy, @thatbanditqueen, @eliseinmemphis, @powerofelvis, @prompted-wordsmith, @mooodyblue, whoever wants to be tagged for this fic, just leave a comment, alright?

#elvis presley fanfic #elvis presley #elvis presley x oc #60s elvis presley #60s elvis #ken doll elvis #hollywood elvis #elvis presley fic #elvis presley fanfiction

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sapphic-agent · 3 months

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Last one I promise, but damn it's so good to get this off my chest. You mentioning Rachel slapping Santana brought this one again, but someone made a post there last week about Santana deserving to get slapped by Rachel after the understudy issue. How Rachel was incredibly graceful to let Santana live there but Santana showed "narcissistic behavior" by following her to get a reaction out of her. Post got over 100 upvotes.

Rachel supporters didn't condemn Rachel for slapping Santana at all but rather explained why she finally clapped back (how satisfying it was to see her do so) and some even saying she deserved it, agreeing with the person who posted. The people that said no it wasn't deserved got downvoted immediately. They didn't want to even consider other people's opinions. One person commented that saying someone deserved to be physically assaulted is a bit harsh also got downvoted. To that person they responded with instances where Santana physically assaulted people like Rory and Quinn, but that's not what the thread was about. Those people then got massively upvoted. They like to do that whenever someone tries to defend Santana. Use moments where Santana was bad when it has nothing to do with the thread just so that Rachel can look good for their point.

Again, like to reiterate, thanks for speaking about this here. I probably would have thought I was the problem if I didn't notice that other people notice the problems on that sub too.

It's funny that people will bring up Santana slapping Quinn and Finn when it comes to Rachel slapping her. But when it comes to bashing her for slapping Finn- for fucking outing her- not one word about Finn assaulting Puck and Brody and trying to pull Quinn out of her wheelchair. I brought the wheelchair thing up once and the response was, "he didn't actually do it, plus they were both at fault!!"

Again, a double standard. People never hold Finn- the cis straight white man- accountable for his behavior. It's always he didn't do anything wrong, if he did then it was justified, if it's not then it's understandable. He called a baby the r-slur and people defend him because of the actions of her mother.

Meanwhile, Santana and Quinn get crucified for lesser offenses. Fun fact, neither one of them have ever used a slur. Finn's used two, one of which being entirely unprompted. No one even mentioned Down Syndrome or anything else, he just said it to be cruel because he knew it would hurt. He does that shit constantly, like when he called Brittany stupid. What makes me mad about this is that she hadn't even done anything wrong. All she did was switch teams- which is entirely her right- and he decided it was okay to insult her.

And you know what Brittany did? She didn't resort to calling Finn names or belittling him like he tried to do with Santana. All she did was tell him he was wrong and walk away. She showed him grace even though he sure as hell didn't deserve it. That's usually how decent people handle their issues with others. Finn was not decent.

But circling back to Rachel, I've watched that scene a lot. And no one ever brings up the fact that Rachel was the one who started with the insults. She was the one who started talking down to Santana, she was the one who wouldn't shut the fuck up. And in her rant, Rachel didn't slap her when Santana called her names. Rachel slapped her when she said she was just as good as her.

It was never about the insults, it was always about Rachel's fragile ego. If Tina or Brittany had auditioned to be her understudy, she wouldn't have cared because neither of them are as good as her. If it had been Mercedes, she would have had the exact same reaction (maybe even worse) because she's threatened by Mercedes (that's canon, as shown in season 3 and season 5) just like she's threatened by Santana. It has nothing to do with her relationships with either of them, it has everything to do with Rachel lashing out whenever she feels threatened.

The proof is literally in season 2. Sunshine was a complete stranger who she knowingly could have killed due to her insecurity. Whenever Rachel perceives a threat, it's like a switch flips in her brain. It's happened so many times before.

And even if it was about the insults and Santana's past actions, that just makes Rachel look worse. She's the one who wanted Santana to live with them, she's the one who chose to keep Santana in her life. She made a conscious decision to be around Santana. If she was still harboring resentment, why would she do that?

Because the only way to cope with Santana's (and Quinn's) bullying was the belief that she would be on top once high school was over. That she could look down on her once popularity didn't mean anything. She openly admits this in season 2. This heavily implies that she kept Santana around to feel superior to her, and what better way to do that than to keep her close so she could flaunt that in person? So when Santana broke out of the box Rachel put her in, she flipped out. It's a pattern of behavior with Rachel.

Rachel is a good character in seasons 1 and 2. She gets called out, admits to her mistakes, and tries to be better. She's still annoying, but it's alleviated by the other characters balancing her out. The new writers really screwed up with her, especially in season 5, by giving her everything she wants no matter how terribly she acts.

#anti glee subreddit #anti finn hudson #anti rachel berry #anti rachel berry stans #santana lopez #quinn fabray #brittany pierce #mercedes jones #anon ask

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noonaishere · 4 months

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Music of the Heart [J.YH] - twenty-six | more like “drone strike parenting”

The next few months were bliss. Winter came and went and you spent almost every weekend at Yunho’s house practicing bass, normally with headphones on while he played video games or studied. Sometimes you helped him practice for a play he was in or an exercise for his acting class. Sometimes he sang along with your playing, if he knew the song. His parents didn’t bother you at all, so there wasn’t much lying either of you had to do.

You felt like things were starting to come together; all you had to do was get through senior year, and then you and Yunho would move to Seoul together where you could both pursue your dreams.

One day - you were sitting at the edge of his bed practicing and Yunho was on the floor, using the side of the bed as a backrest - he took a break from reading lines for a play he was in in the local community theater to listen to you playing. He watched you, smiling as you played along with the music you were listening to, letting the final note ring out as you finished it.

“How the hell did you get so good already?”

“Because I’m a fucking genius,” you winked.

Yunho chuckled, his ears going pink.

You started another song and Yunho watched you as you practiced, a small smile on his lips the whole time. It was nice to know that your audience of one enjoyed the show.

After you were done you put the bass down and joined him in sitting on the floor.

“So, I was on one of the library computers a couple days ago, you know, just snooping around on some music forums and stuff--”

“Was that the day you missed lunch?”

“Mhm. Anyway, I saw a band advertising that they needed a bassist.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, in Seoul.”

“Wow.”

“I sent them a message.” You smiled.

His eyebrows ticked up and he sat up straight. “Oh-- really?”

“Mhm.”

“Mmm.... What’d they say?”

“I checked today, and they said they’re excited to hear me play. They’re only a couple years older than us.”

His mouth opened, shocked. “You’re going to audition?”

You nodded.

“When?”

“Two weeks.”

“Wow… What happens if you get it?”

“I’ll move out there right after graduation. Step one of the dream. All of the timing works out perfectly.”

Yunho looked down and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I… I’ve been going to auditions at theaters there, but I haven’t gotten any callbacks yet…”

“So go for more. You just have to keep going and going until someone calls you back.”

“But what if no one calls me back. What if I'm not good enough to act in a real production?”

“Horseshit.”

He turned to you.

“I’ve seen every school production and community production you’ve ever been in. You’re a great actor.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. You’ll get a callback, I know it.”

He smiled and nodded.

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danganronpafan777 · 1 year

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Saw this happen once in a anime but imagine DRA Cast Boys S/O being put in a theater play as the Princess or Prince or In distress and the one who plays the Knight was S/O Cheater Ex who still in love S/O even thought there in a relationship and have move on then during the climax of the play where the Knight kiss S/O the knight remove there Helmet to Reveal to be S/O DRA Boyfriend who had help from there classmate to take the Knight Role from the Cheating Ex

E/n is ex name This took a while, so I hope you like it! Also, requests are now open!

Haruhiko Kobashikawa:

Nothing could have excited you more than being able to play the princess/prince in your favorite play of all time!

Haruhiko auditioned for the role as the knight originally because he thought it sounded romantic, even if it was cheesy and he wasn't a great actor

When you read who got the role as the knight, your heart immediately dropped

"Y/n? What's wrong? I thought you got the part!?"

"Yeah, I did, but..."

You hesitated, not knowing whether to let him be happy for you or totally ruin the moment

Haruhiko stared at you worriedly and you decided to just rip off the bandaid

"I know I probably didn't get the part but-"

"E/n got the role of the knight."

"..."

Your boyfriend looked devastated for a moment, before being straight up pissed.

"Of all people!? It had to be him!?"

"That's right."

The two of you whipped around to see E/n, a cocky grin on his face. Haruhiko wanted nothing more than to punch him.

"What the hell do you want!?"

"Oh, I just wanted to congratulate Y/n on the role of the princess/prince! Can't wait for our big kissing scene!"

You shook your head. "Fuck this. I'm switching roles."

"What!?" The two boys exclaimed.

"Y/n, you worked so hard for this part, you can't let this asshole ruin it for you!" Haru put a hand on your shoulder.

"Never thought I'd agree with that idiot, but yeah, you can't just quit now."

"What did you just say!?"

You sighed to yourself. Your boyfriend, not your ex, was right. You had worked too hard for the role just to give it up now.

...

Here it was, opening night. The day that was supposed to be one of your happiest, you were now dreading. You always refused to kiss your ex during the dress rehearsals, no matter how hard he tried to convince you otherwise. You hated how that lying bastard was ruining something you were looking forward to all year.

Haru hated it just as much as you did. He hated how you were forced to spend time with a guy that had broken your heart and somehow thought he was still entitled to it. Haruhiko is a simple (and kinda stupid-) guy, who doesn't really come up with complex ideas outside of airplane tricks and video games, but he could make an exception for this, Teruya, Kiyoka and Satsuki by his side.

... You were annoyed to say the least. The whole night so far, it seemed like your idiot of an ex could barely remember his lines, always quietly signaling for you to take over.

It was stupid. You had seen him at every dress rehearsal, and he even made a point to always remind you that he was there. And suddenly he has amnesia? Was it stage fright? Was he trying to screw up the whole play just to piss you off?

Well, it wasn't working. You memorized every line in the play, and was easily able to cover up whatever the hell he was doing and make it look completely intentional. In fact, it seemed to make you stand out even more. Considering this was Hope's Peak, you could only assume that many important people in the acting industry were here. If this was an attempt to make you look bad, it was doing the complete opposite.

By the end of the first act, you were completely the star of the show, even though you were literally supposed to be the damsel in distress. You got quicker in fixing your knight's mistakes, and actually had fun with it. Oh how you and your boyfriend would tease him about this.

Speaking of boyfriends... where was he? Did he... forget?

It hurt a bit, knowing your significant other wasn't here for one of the best nights of your life. No, it hurt a lot.

The play reached its climax, and you fell into your knight's arms, mentally preparing for the kiss. You could sense an eager smile under the mask. Son of a bitch.

As the knight took off his helmet, you didn't have to fake your shock.

"....!?"

"...Hey Y/n." He whispered. (He forgot about the mic on the side of his face and literally everyone heard him)

You blinked a few times, before grabbing him by the chest and placing your lips on his.

This was definitely better than with your ex.

Teruya Otori:

"Y/n! Is the casting out yet!?" Teruya asked excitedly.

You giggled to yourself.

"The teacher is going to put it up in a minute."

Teruya was just as excited for the play as you were. He wanted to play a minor role, but... then he got jealous that you were going to have to kiss another guy, so he decided to audition for the role of the knight. Whether it was the knight or another character, he was happy to be apart of it.

Your teacher put up the casting sheet and everyone in the hallway shoved past each other to see it. After making some room in front of you so your boyfriend could see, you looked at the paper to see if you got the role.

"Y/n! Ya did it! Yer da princess/prince! I knew you could do it!"

As the hallway cleared out, your ecstatic boyfriend threw his arms around you. You giggled to yourself and kissed him on his forehead. He nuzzled your neck in response.

"Damn, Y/n. Remember when that was us?"

You and Teruya immediately recognized the voice of your asshole of an ex. Seriously, what did you see in him?

"H-Hey! Don't ruin da momen'!" Teruya exclaimed, pulling himself closer to you. He fought the urge to stick his tongue out.

"I'm not ruining anything, I wanted to check my role too, "partner."" He mocked Teruya's accent. You put your arm around Teruya and flipped E/n off with the same hand, so your innocent boyfriend wouldn't have to see it. "Looks like I got the role of the knight. Are you excited for our kissing scene?"

You and Teruya immediately looked back to the board, just to find out, your ex did indeed get the part.

"Screw that. How much of daddy's money did you have to spend to get the role?" You retorted.

E/n's face turned to anger. "You know, this is why I kissed them, Y/n. I love you and you love me, but sometimes you say some of the most annoying shit."

"Shu' up! Ya no good cheat'r!"

He scoffed, "See you at rehearsal Y/n."

...

You used to love play rehearsal, but now you dreaded it every week. Great, another thing your ex ruined for you. Teruya tried to hide his own hate of it, but it was clear that he was still bitter. He'd always wait for you after play rehearsal and let you copy his math homework (you're gonna have to help him with everything else-).

The two of you usually go back to his house, where he'll play with your hair while you complain about your ex and the stupid shit he did to win you back. If there wasn't time for a cuddle session before his dad came home, then you two would just watch a movie together.

Dealing with your ex every week sucked, but the two of you tried to make the most of it. He eventually found himself complaining about it to Haruhiko and Satsuki, and both of them told him not to give up so easily.

"What'd ya mean?"

All he got were two mischievous grins in response.

... At opening night, your ex wasn't as much of a pest as you'd thought he'd be. Sure, he forgot his lines a lot, and also seemed shorter for some reason, but he hadn't bothered you yet or tried to steal the show from you. You didn't even see any of his asshole friends in the crowd!

Speaking of the crowd, you couldn't see your boyfriend either. Teruya made it clear that he wouldn't miss the play for the world, so where was he? Did his dad make him work a late shift at Otori Mart? No, his father loved you, and was probably in the crowd as well. (He was)

Was he backstage waiting for you and you missed him? Maybe. Maybe he got lost as well?

Weird, while also pretty disappointing. Either way, the show must go on.

As your knight in shining armor saved you, you smiled at him thankfully, preparing yourself to kiss your ex and flip him off as soon as the curtain fell.

When he took off the mask, you couldn't hide your surprise.

He stifled a giggle at your shocked face.

You bounced back quickly, smiling back at him and pulling him into the kiss.

God knows what Satsuki and Haru were doing with your ex, but the two of you were living in the moment, illuminated by the stage lights.

Tsurugi Kinjo:

"Y/n? Did you get the part?"

You looked back at your boyfriend, Tsurugi, who had been waiting for you after the roles had been announced.

Tsurugi didn't care much for plays, but he was still going to see it to support you.

"Yeah, I got the role of the princess/prince."

He raised an eyebrow. "I figured that you'd be more excited."

"Yeah, well it turns out that E/n is the knight."

"What."

"Hey, Y/n." Your ex winked at you.

"Fuck off." You and Tsurugi said at the same time. He scoffed in response.

"That's no way to treat your-"

"If you're about to say future boyfriend, then it's gonna be your understudy's lucky day." You cut him off.

"Y/n, baby. I know we-"

"Shut your mouth. You had your chance with Y/n and you broke their heart. You have thirty seconds to leave."

He rolled his eyes, but didn't push his luck. "Whatever. See you at rehearsal."

He probably wanted to say more, but you had a literal cop for a boyfriend. There was probably at least one time where your ex tried to say something to you and got his ass whooped. Still, that didn't stop him from harassing you when your boyfriend wasn't around.

Over the next few weeks, Tsurugi rarely left your side. He would wait for you after rehearsal and would walk you home each day, making sure your ex wasn't anywhere near you. You would always try to coax him into staying for dinner with your family, but he rarely gave in. Still, each day you would show him your appreciation and mostly avoid talking about your asshole of an ex as opening night got closer and closer.

Tsurugi knew about the kissing scene, and he was pissed. He was already dreading seeing you kiss another guy, but it being your ex, he wanted to punch him. He'd never blame you for it, of course, since you loved acting and this was part of the job, but the thought of you kissing someone that wasn't him made his stomach churn, no matter how much he tried to suppress his emotions. He mentioned his feelings to Yamato and Yuki, some of the few people he actually trusted. Yuki gave comforting advice and told Tsurugi to support you, Yamato on the other hand, seemed to have other plans... …

You sighed as another person shook their head. No matter where you looked, Tsurugi was nowhere to be seen. The play was going just as you thought it would, the only difference being that your ex wasn’t harassing you. It was truly a perfect night, except for the fact that your boyfriend wasn’t there.

You saw your classmates in the crowd, and they just laughed to themselves when you asked them if they saw him. You knew Tsurugi didn’t like crowds that much, but theres no way he decided to ditch you like this. Sure, work was important to him, but he promised you that he would come see you!

Your ex noticed that you were looking for your boyfriend at one point, but you told him to screw off, to which he seemed surprised for a moment, before returning to a small smile. What the hell is going on?

As one would say, the show must go on. You pushed through the first and second act, preparing yourself for the kiss as the climax neared. Your knight seemed to stumble a bit, as if he hadn’t gone to the rehearsals to harass you every week for the past few months, before saving you.

You continued with the script, swooning over your hero. Was he blushing?

Slowly, your knight removed his helmet.

You gasped in shock, before smiling widely. Tsurugi was supposed to kiss you now, but his face was beginning to burn knowing how many people were watching you both. You gazed into his eyes, before cupping his cheek and kissing him.

He seemed to relax, kissing back without hesitation. The audience clapped and your classmates cheered, preparing themselves to make fun of his acting skills for the next week. As the curtains fell for the final time, Tsurugi pulled a single rose from behind his back and gave it to you.

Twirling the rose between your fingers, you kissed him once again.

Utsuro:

Utsuro greeted you with an approving nod, already knowing his luck got you the part

"Hey babe! I got the part!" You said anyway. You were aware of his divine luck, but you assured him that you would never take it for granted, even thanking him for what he does.

A small ghost of a smile twitched at his lips, but besides that he closed his eyes and gave a satisfied hum. You didn't mind his small reaction, just walking over to him and kissing him on the cheek.

"Wow, Y/n. You chose this emotionless weirdo over me?"

You and Utsuro turned in annoyance. Way for your ex to ruin the moment...

Utsuro hated your ex, but for some reason, no matter what his luck did to keep him away from you, the bastard just wouldn't give up.

"Fuck off, E/n. At least he's loyal and not a cheater like you."

"Ouch, Y/n. Are you really going to go there now? Did you even tell him about our kissing scene?"

Utsuro, who was honestly just waiting for his luck to get this loser away from you, snapped out of his thoughts and raised an eyebrow. You looked just as confused as he did.

"Oh? You didn't know? I got the part as the knight." E/n grinned. Utsuro just glared at him, willing his luck to get rid of your ex's stupid grin, which only grew as your eyes widened.

Your ex tried to step closer to you, but Utsuro calmly got in front of you. He wasn't one to get jealous, but this pest was starting to annoy him. Before anything could happen, the bell rang, and E/n suddenly found himself late for his class, giving you a small, cocky wink before running to his next class, soon getting himself caught by Ishimaru.

...

Utsuro seemed indifferent over the fact that you were going to have to kiss your ex. He would wait for you after play rehearsal and make sure your ex didn't try anything, but he didn't seem worried about it. Frankly, he knew you wouldn't cheat on him or ever love that bastard again, and thanks to his luck, something was probably going to happen which would make him lose the part. He could see it in your face that you secretly wanted that, and because he did too, it was sure to happen.

...So why did it not feel like enough? Was he jealous that another guy was gonna end up kissing you even if it wasn't your ex? Why did you always make him feel such stupid emotions? Did he... seriously want to go through all this trouble?

Yamato, being the smartest guy in the class and constantly trying to befriend Utsuro, eventually caught on to what was happening. Utsuro tried to dismiss it whenever Yamato tried to talk with him about it, but his luck kept making the two of them run into each other.

Did he seriously want to talk about this? With Yamato of all people?

It was less than a week before the play when Utsuro finally told Yamato about how you were going to have to kiss your cheating ex. Yamato asked him how he felt about it, to which he shrugged. Unfortunately, Yamato did not accept that answer. ...

The play was going... fine overall. E/n was acting strangely, he barely talked other than to say his lines, and his movements seemed more.. stoic than usual. A huge contrast to his overconfident personality. Nonetheless, nothing else unusual has happened, your ex didn't harass you, but your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

Yeah, being invisible was something Utsuro enjoyed, but... he at least would make his presence know to you. He wasn't tired of you yet...right?

You searched the crowd and backstage a few times. You had honestly been expecting to see E/n somehow drop out of the play, thanks to your boyfriend's luck. You didn't want to feel disappointed that it didn't happen, after you swore to yourself to never take Utsuro's luck for granted, but you didn't want to think he left you either.

A part of you wanted to ask your classmates, but if you didn't know where he was, there's no way your classmates did. You asked Akane about him during intermission, but she didn't respond. Was he... really leaving you?

...Did you bore him? With the play reaching its climax, you forced yourself to smother the thought. You had to focus on acting right now. You could cry about your boyfriend possibly leaving you later.

It took everything to pretend like you were swooning over the guy who had carelessly broken your heart, but you forced yourself to do it. You wanted to cry and deck E/n across the face at the same time.

Then, your knight lifted the mask.

Your eyes widened and a smile stretched across your face. Your beloved boyfriend was right in front of you the whole time!

"Utsuro...." You found yourself whispering his name.

He gave a small nod, a rare smile twitching at his lips. You laughed to yourself before grabbing him by the shoulders and placing your lips on his.

He didn't pull away, wrapping his arms around you and kissing back with just as much passion. He may not say it, but he'll never leave you.

Yamato Kisaragi:

"Y/n! Y/n! Did you get the part!?" You heard your boyfriend call out. You smiled as he caught up with you.

He looked like he just ran over, probably lost himself in his work before remembering roles were being revealed today, and if you were getting your dream role, he wanted to be the first to know all about it.

While Yamato was handsome and a pretty good actor, he was pretty sure the school had learned their lesson with putting him in a play, after one of his inventions grew self aware and tried to mind control the entire school. You reassured him that a zombie apocalypse version of Midsummer Night's Dream would have sucked anyway.

"Yeah! I got the part!"

Yamato's eyes lit up in the most adorable way possible.

"That's grea-...You don't look too happy, is something wrong? Did you change your mind? Are you getting stage fright already!? Don't worry Y/n, I'll go to every sho-"

"That's not it. I'm happy to have the role... it's just... the knight..."

He put a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, Y/n. It's part of acting! I know you love me, and the role means a lot to you, so-"

"Wow, you really don't care if she kisses another guy? Yet you hate me because-"

E/n seemed to appear from nowhere, but Yamato was quick to shut him up.

"Stay out of this! This has nothing to do with you. Let me talk with my S/o!"

"Nothing to do with me? I was just saying I'm surprised you're okay with me kissing Y/n. She's going to leave you for me anyway."

Yamato was confused for a second, but he connected the dots quick.

"Y/n... please don't tell me."

"Yeah..."

Yamato sighed to himself.

Your ex began to talk more, but Yamato calmly took your hand and walked you to class. He knew better than to engage with this asshole, not matter how much he tried to taunt him.

Yamato is a sweet and friendly guy, but he has no tolerance for people that are mean to his loved ones. He'll never forgive or befriend the bastard that broke your heart and wanted to play you all over again.

Yamato made it clear that he wasn't happy with your ex being the knight, even making a few complaints to the school for it and telling them what your ex did, but he would always put you first. He'd wait for you after every play rehearsal and would take you out to dinner (or just get dessert) after it, letting you complain about your ex as much as you want.

If your ex was close by, he'd intentionally nuzzle, hug you, or pick you up and kiss you. It wasn't actually meant to make your ex jealous (but the fact that the both of you enjoyed his reactions to it were a bonus), it was to remind you that you weren't with that bastard anymore. You were with him! A sweet guy that would never cheat or break your heart!

Yamato knows that you'll never cheat on him, and he'll always offer to cuddle while you rant. As annoying as the situation is, Yamato was still proud of you for getting the part. Yamato is smart enough to come up with an idea to sabotage your ex on his own, but he still brought it up to as many of your classmates as he could (since he's friends with everyone). Taking their advice, help, and a scolding from Mikako and Tsurugi on what he was about to do, Yamato prepared for opening night.

…

The play was basically a total trainwreck. It was partly satisfying how well your ex seemed to screw everything up, forgetting some lines and wandering onto the stage at random times.

(He knew what he was doing, he just wanted to make you laugh)

But it still got annoying at times knowing it was your lying, cheating scumbag of an ex. Still, you enjoyed yourself, placing your heart and soul into acting, and no matter how badly your ex messed up, he never interrupted you and interfered with your scenes. It was like he actually cared about your dreams.

You searched everywhere for your boyfriend, believing that he might have gotten lost backstage somewhere. You saw Mikako in the crowd during intermission, but she just smiled and said she had no idea where Yamato was. Odd…

When the knight in shining armor face planted during the climax, you held a hand in front of your face to keep yourself from laughing, before helping him up and pretending to fall in love with him.

As the knight took off his helmet, you were met with the same charming smile that you knew and loved. It made your heart skip a beat as everything came together.

With a growing smile, you grabbed him by the shirt and placed your lips on his. He smiled into the kiss and pulled you closer, not letting go even when the curtains fell.

Kinji Uehara:

Kinji was waiting for you in the courtyard, enjoying a cup of tea and awaiting the good news. You worked hard for the part, so he was sure you would get it. When you saw him and ran over to him with a smile on your face, he already smiled back.

"I assume you got the part, Y/n?"

"Yep! I did it! I really did it!"

He was happy for you, and talked with you about the role as you sat down next to him. It was a nice moment between the two of you, up until E/n showed up.

"Hey Y/n." He winked. You flipped him off when you were sure that Kinji couldn't see it.

"That's rude, but I'm glad to see your excited about our upcoming kiss."

Kinji raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"

"Not with you, with Y/n!"

"Yes, I know what you meant, but what do you mean by kiss?"

"Yeah, E/n. What the hell are you doing now?"

He grinned, "You didn't see? I'm your knight in shining armor. Just like the good ol' days!"

"...You've got to be shitting me."

"Language, Y/n." Kinji told you. E/n rolled his eyes.

"Remind me again why you like this guy?"

"I follow the Lord, including his commandment of adultery being a sin."

"You son of a-"

"Screw off, E/n. Leave me and my boyfriend in peace." ...

Kinji always keeps a calm face, but that doesn't mean he enjoys this. Not at all. The thought of your cheating ex makes him angry by itself, but the fact that you had to kiss him just to follow your passion made him feel an amount of anger he never experienced before. You meant a lot to him and you deserved the role after how much work you put into it, but your ex took the role of the knight just to make what was supposed to be the highlight of your school life miserable.

Kinji always walked you home after rehearsal and let you vent to him. He kept telling you that he wasn't that bothered, that he just wanted you to enjoy yourself. He just wanted you to continue doing what you loved. He...definitely wasn't bothered by the idea of you kissing your ex.

He mentioned his troubles to Kakeru and Kanata, who were at his side in an instant. They gave him advice, like comforting you and telling the director what your ex did, but it seemed like your classmates (plus some kids at the orphanage) had a better idea...

...

The play was... oddly uneventful. Your ex was much more quiet, not to mention he didn't harass you once. It wasn't bad, you were able to put your own hatred aside and focus on the play, performing better than ever. After months of being teased and brought down by E/n during play rehearsal, you could finally just enjoy your passion.

Your only wish was that your boyfriend was there.

You knew that Kinji wouldn't miss the play. He made it clear that he was going to be there no matter what. Still, you couldn't see him in the audience anywhere...

You eventually found Kakeru and Kanata during intermission, but when you asked them about him, they seemed to smile to themselves. What is going on?

It stressed you out. The moment things are finally going your way, your boyfriend isn't there for you to enjoy it with... Your ex tried to approach you a few times, but you motioned for him to leave, not willing to deal with his bullshit.

As the climax of the story neared, you told yourself that you probably just missed him somewhere. There's no way he ditched you like this. Not him.

You forced yourself to swoon over the knight in shining armor who saved you, and mentally imagined your ex's cocky grin.

To say you were a bit surprised to see your kind, soft spoken boyfriend under the helmet instead would be the understatement of the year.

Kinji smiled at your shocked face, before gently cupping your cheek and pulling you in for the kiss.

Your shock washed away, placed with relief knowing your boyfriend hadn't only came for your big night, but also made it much better.

Kakeru Yamaguchi:

"S-So..Y/n, did you get the part?" Kakeru asked you, shuffling his feet. He would have joined you and looked at the casting list, but there was too much of a crowd around it for his taste. You completely understood.

"...Yeah. I got the part." You were hesitating. Kakeru was confused, he thought you wanted the part?

"I..That's great!..Right?"

"Yeah, it's great, but um..." You hesitated again. How were you supposed to tell Kakeru that your ex got the part of the knight?

Kakeru was anxious around people to begin with, so being in the play was out of the question for him, and he had a fair share of insecurities, and this information would not help hi-

"Hey N/n."

"H-Huh!? E/n?" You and Kakeru turned to see your ex leaning on the wall beside you both.

"So, did you tell your giant brute of a boyfriend about our kiss?"

Kakeru whipped around to look at you, betrayal clear on his face.

"Y/n...? What is he..?"

"E/n got the role of the knight! The son of a bitch auditioned without us knowing! He's talking about the kiss scene in the play. That's all. I'm never gonna leave you for that pig."

Kakeru felt relieved, before the panic and insecurities came back to him. What if you decided that he was too big for you? What if you decided that he was a giant brute after all? What if the kiss made you love your ex again?

He felt you put your hands on his shoulders.

"Kakeru, listen to me. I love you. Way more than I ever have or ever will love that loser."

"I'm right her-"

"Get out of here E/n or you'll get to see the real brute in this relationship."

...

Kakeru was extremely insecure. He's wait for you after every practice, wondering if you were going to suddenly decide to leave him for your ex. He'd still listen to you vent and rant on how much you hated the guy and how you can't believe you ever loved him, but the insecurity still stood. You caught on pretty quick and always made sure to reassure him how much he means to you, which he's always grateful for. Sometimes your ex tries to take advantage of his insecurities, but like hell are you going to let him manipulate your sweet boyfriend!

Kakeru eventually admitted everything to Kanata and Kinji. They told him to tell the director of the play about your ex and what he was doing to you, but it still didn't work. Kanata and Kinji still comforted him throughout the whole ordeal the same way he comforted you (which made him feel bad because you were the one who had to literally kiss your ex). Eventually, the rest of the class heard about it, and came up with a better solution...

...

Opening night was here and it wasn't nearly as bad as you thought it would be. For once, your ex wasn't harassing you, or even looking you in the eyes. It was funny, he worked so hard for the role, and even looked like he worked out for it or something (because he was definitely larger than you remember) just for him to forget most of his lines.

At the times he made eye contact, he would stammer and stutter over his words, which you would usually enjoy, seeing him embarrass himself in front of this giant crowd, but it just reminded you of your boyfriend, who was nowhere to be seen.

You searched the crowd and looked backstage a few times, but he wasn't there. You saw Kanata and Kinji in the audience, so he had to be somewhere. E/n found you looking for him, but you told him to screw off, to which he looked genuinely hurt for a moment.

You knew Kakeru wouldn't miss your play, and assumed you were just missing him. As the climax of the play played out, with your ex awkwardly saving you, you pretended to swoon over him, making him act even more flustered. Weird. He would usually soak up this kind of attention.

As your knight lifted off his helmet, you audibly gasped.

Kakeru's face was bright red, and he was too flustered to speak.

You found yourself smiling, his face saying everything that he couldn't. Without hesitation, you cupped his cheek and brought him in for the kiss, not letting him go until the curtains had long fallen.

Mitch Higa:

"Hey! HEY! Everyone! Move!" Mitch practically commanded. Having a famous boyfriend had its perks, one of which being how most people admired and listened to him blindly, giving him the power to shoo people away and clear a path for the two of you to see the casting list.

You saw your own name just as your boyfriend elbowed someone in your way.

"Mitch! I did it! I got the part!"

"Hell yeah! I knew you could do it! You'll be just as famous as me one day!" He grinned, taking you by the hand and leading you out of the crowd. As the two of you rounded a corner, away from prying eyes, he kissed you on the forehead.

"Maybe even more."

You giggled in response, reaching up to ruffle his hair. He smiled and leaned into your touch.

"Wow, this is what Mitsuhiro Higa is really like? Didn't think you even cared for Y/n when you’re away from the cameras."

You and Mitch turned to see E/n beside the two of you, having obviously followed you both here.

"Fuck off. What the hell do you want?"

"I wanted to see how Y/n felt about our big kissing scene."

"WHAT!?" Mitch's yell of anger nearly drew a crowd over.

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

With the cockiest grin, your ex replied, "I'm the knight."

He knew about the kissing scene, and didn't hesitate to tell you that he hated it, and was secretly thankful how much you reassured him over it. But was it seriously gonna be this guy!?

You swore a few times, not liking this any more than he did and with your ex's continuous snarky comments, you nearly had to hold your boyfriend back a few times.

Mitch made it clear that he hated your ex and his role as the knight. He complained about it just as much as you did, and while he would never admit how jealous he was, he wouldn't shut up about how angry he was about it. Of course, he would still comfort you and listen to you vent about your ex, throwing out a snarky comment here and there. He'd also walk you home and take you out on dates more often, not that he thought you might leave him for that loser. But still, after two days your whole class knew about it.

Some offered condolences for your situation, but others decided to help Mitch with a better idea...

Mitch hated the fact that he was going to have to go behind your back for this, but like hell was he going to let this asshole kiss you!

...

By the end of the second act, you officially wanted to murder your ex. Sure, it was funny how he slipped up most of his lines, and seemed to forget half the script, but that didn't stop him from trying to get as close to you as possible, to which you'd shove him off as soon as the audience couldn't see.

He attempted to approach you at intermission, to which you told him that you'd never love him and that he better stay the hell away. It disturbed you how he seemed to appreciate that.

There was also the fact that your boyfriend wasn't here to support you. Sure, he was famous and had hundreds of fangirls and better things to do, but he wouldn't skip out on your big night...right?

Every insecurity you ever had about your boyfriend seemed to come pouring out, even though you tried to lose yourself in your acting. Even your ex seemed worried about you. Still, you shoved him aside, and prepared to get the kiss scene over with.

You forced yourself to swoon over the entitled asshole who broke your heart, begging for him to lift up his helmet. When he did as the script said, (for once)

Your eyes widened. Mitch chuckled to himself and winked at you, before cupping both of your cheeks and pulling you in for the kiss. You had no objections.

He dipped you during the kiss as the audience cheered, much to your embarrassment.

As the curtain fell, and the two of you broke the kiss for air, he told you that he wouldn't have missed your night for the world.

Dra Yuki Maeda:

You skipped over to your boyfriend happily. He was equally happy to see you, waiting for the good news on a nearby bench.

"Hey, Y/n! Did you get the part?"

"I did it, Yuki! I freaking did it!"

He smiled, "I never doubted you for a moment, Y/n."

You sat down beside him and nuzzled into his neck. He wrapped an arm beside you and leaned his head on your shoulder. A part of him wanted to ask who the knight was, knowing about how'd you'd have to kiss them, but this moment was about you, not him.

"Hey, Y/n. I heard you got the part."

The two of you sighed at the familiar voice. Once again, this moment was supposed to be about you.

"Yeah, I did. Now screw off."

"Why would I do that?" He's smiled innocently, getting in between you and Yuki. "Especially since we have our kiss scene coming up. We should practice, shouldn't we?"

"K-Kiss scene!? You're the knight?" Yuki yelped. E/n's grin in response was enough to make you want to punch him.

...

Yuki hated every moment of knowing that you would have to kiss your cheating ex. He was fine with you kissing a guy for the part, knowing you were loyal and passionate about acting, but the fact that it was your ex, who was milking every bit of it, made him angry. Still, he put aside his own feelings for you. You were the one who needed to be comforted here, not him!

He would actually go to dress rehearsals with you every now and then and would offer to walk you home. He never hesitates to defend you from whatever your ex says to you, and is always fine with you venting to him about it. He makes it his main priority for you to enjoy your first big role, wanting you to have fun without worrying about having to kiss that jerk.

That being said, he mentioned it to his classmates a few times (he's also friends with pretty much everyone-) who told him that he should "put his luck to good use." When he asked what that meant, Yamato and Haruhiko cleared off a table, slapped some paper down on it, and got the class to come up with a plan

...

The play seemed to be going fine. Your ex seemed to give you some space, and even though there was the occasional struggle with remembering his lines, nothing big really happened. The night was going pretty much exactly how you we're hoping it was going to, exactly except for the fact that your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

You had assumed he would meet you backstage or something, but you couldn't find him. You searched the crowd to only find your classmates. When you approached them during intermission, you only got a grin from Haruhiko, to which Akane and Satsuki seemed to drag him away for.

You knew that Yuki wouldn't miss the play, so what was happening? Did your ex do something to him!? He did seem quieter than usual!

You probably would've confronted your ex about it, had it not been the end of intermission, and you found yourself preparing for the dreaded kiss.

When the play reached its climax, your knight took off his helmet, revealing the face of your missing boyfriend. You smiled, biting back a laugh.

He smiled back at you, before holding your hands and pulling you in for the kiss. You kissed back, and somehow the kiss was sweeter than any the two of you had ever shared.

The two of you continued to kiss as the curtains fell.

"I..um, left some flowers for you in your dressing room during intermission. I don't know if you saw them..."

You giggled, "No, idiot. I was too busy looking for you."

He laughed a bit in reply, before pulling you closer and kissing you once more.

#dra x reader #haruhiko kobashikawa #danganronpa another #danganronpa x reader #yuki maeda #kakeru yamaguchi #kinji uehara #tsurugi kinjo #yamato kisaragi #utsuro #mitsuhiro higa #teruya otori

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