#like bruh it was so raw

[bunniichiiart]

I have not known peace my mind's be taken over by @naffeclipse Sleuth Jesters fic and @starlightcloudbaby detective au.

(Also pls click the full image its a dark piece so it's harder to see small)

[penelopwgarcia]

as I stop using twitter after nine years almost daily on the platform I come to realise my brain have grown into the assumption I NEED to speak every silly stupid opinion i have

[akkivee]

i stopped watching the 5th live because i think the dvd cut of it sucks but i certainly don’t remember why i think that way after years of not watching it lol

anyway guess who fell in love with the bat seiyuu all over again watching the raw livestream version of the 5th live LMAO

[impossible-rat-babies]

not to be like. rude on main but warriors only get the first really survivable skill at 30………….

[sofibeth]

not gonna lie its getting lowkey annoying that whenever I see a criticism regarding IDW it always leads to Ian Flynn (and to extent Evan Stanley) getting sh**talk when its clear their alot of effort put into their work regardless on if ya approve of characterization or nah.

[brltpop]

When you hear kalush orchestra will be back to the front lines on monday despite their victory and that apparently laura pausini said it can't be possible for a song to win because it's political instead of an actual good song

[carronpatrick]

I have fought it as long as I can... Denied and ignored and pretended... Excused and waited and I have no choice but to admit...

I am sick. 😭

[malleusfucker]

baking with beel

warnings: smut/nsfw, beel being greedy, unprotected sex on the kitchen counter, size kink, belly bulge, creampie, reader is afab but no gender or pronouns are explicitly specified

yeah ngl this shit ended up being so fun to write like i wanted it to be short but i got carried away 😭 this is what happens when you’re horny over beel

words: 1.8k

(also this pic bruh... nah he gotta be pregnant)

~ baking with beel is always fun … said no one ever. 

whether it’s his careless actions that result in him accidentally breaking an entire bowl from how hard he whisked the cake mixture, or if it’s him just straight up devouring the raw ingredients before you even get a chance to heat them up! it’s all fun 👍

“what do you mean i can’t eat a raw egg? i heard it's good for you. oh it’s for the cake? oh.”

reality is … baking with beel is a goddamn nightmare, and especially for you, since you are usually always the one who has to deal with the consequences. and dear god there are many.

those particular consequences leave you sore and limp, sticky and in a complete mess. 

it always starts off playful and light - how baking should often be - with beel trying his utmost hardest to get the measurements right as his mind always tends to go to “bigger quantity = better”, being the avatar of gluttony, of course that’s expected. his hands shake as he carefully tries to pour a tablespoon of vanilla extract in the bowl, trying so hard to fight the urge to tip the entire bottle instead. bless him, he tries his best and even when he fails- it’s the thought that counts.

but when he does fail … sigh. better hope that all the brothers are out and that the door is shut because, the times that beel eventually feeds into his gluttonous side are the times you always think to yourself “why the fuck did i agree to bake with beel”

the tart was almost complete - burnt all the way through thanks to gordon ramsay not knowing he turned the heat to the maximum setting - but hey, it was edible. all that was left was the whipped cream and with the way beel’s mouth was drooling onto the counter, he was feeling more than peckish.

trying to get cream out of the bottle was always a pain in the ass - your knuckles whitening as you tried desperately to shake and squeeze some out of it, but to no avail. beel thought it would be a great time to step in and help you but knowing how damn greedy he is, not only would all the whipped cream be gone, but it would go along with the bottle due to how much his hunger was increasing. 

“hey let me get that-”

“no it’s fine, i’ve got it.”

“you look like you’re struggling, just let me-”

your back and forth bickering and snatching of the bottle would only result in what you could call an unfortunate fate, when all of a sudden-

pfftftt!

cream right all over your face and neck.

“shit.” is what comes to your mind first as soon as you see the demon’s face towering above you. licking his lips, he steps towards you with eyes that could rival asmo's in their lust and hunger, along with giant hands that seem to be gravitating to your body. “beel… just let me wipe it off-” not even a sentence is able to be drawn out of your mouth before the demon is engulfing you, his long wet tongue licking stripes up your face, feeling the sweetness suddenly hit him as if it was ecstasy.

and that’s all it takes for his mind to vanish. his demeanour suddenly shifting to something even more insatiable than before, which to you, was fucking terrifying.

you trip and stumble as he presses his weight onto you with your back hitting the edge of the counter. feeling nothing but the sensation of his lips and tongue smothering you only made your head feel hot and dizzy.

it’s already way too much, and the fire hasn’t even been lit yet.

you want to push him away, you want to tell him to stop - but you physically can’t. his eager tongue finally found its way to yours, sloppily kissing and licking your lips with drool running down your chin and onto your neck.

god he’s always so messy.

he grips your thighs, pushing you up onto the counter as his kisses continue to drown you, his tongue overlapping with yours in such a greedy manner it almost makes you choke. 

“beel…someone’s gonna see us…” you muttered heavy breaths between kisses, his mouth soon being deterred from yours and finding your neck where he started to lap up the remainder of the cream like a new-born kitten. “mmm…don’t care.” he let out a low grunt, his hot breath fanning over your neck as his fingers slowly crept up your thighs, massaging the flesh.

unfortunately, beel doesn’t take things in moderation. meaning that once he feels that “hunger” in his gut, it’s going to take an army to try and reel him back in. and those scales have been more than tipped at that point. 

his impatient fingers found their way underneath your shorts; clawing and plucking at your underwear, feeling the bulge in his pants press against the counter as he continued to lean into you. as much as your mind insisted on pushing him away, your body thought otherwise - caving in as you felt your arousal drip inches from where beel’s fingers were. but any sane person would know that you can’t hide anything from the avatar of gluttony; his eyes widening and nose twitching as he felt the scent of your excitement blast his senses.

that hand that was sensibly nipping at your underwear had now ripped the entire thing off your body, along with your shorts, breathing heavily as he continued to assault your face and neck with his tongue. you gasped as a result of the cool air suddenly wafting over your bareness, hearing beel’s grunts get louder and more frequent only made you twitch and feel nervous. it seemed that beel would then mimic the instincts to that of an animal in heat, instantly pulling his sweatpants down to reveal his thick, aching cock - it practically begged for your attention with how flushed and hard it had gotten.

beel’s size was no joke. the way it pulsated and throbbed as he started to stroke it, seeing pre-cum drip and leak out of the fat tip made you gulp. he muttered inaudible apologies into your neck as he had already aligned himself against your entrance, licking and kissing your skin between words as if to make up for the agonising pain he was about to inflict upon you. and that pain was soon to become a reality. even knowing that there was no preparation beforehand, beel’s lust outweighed his guilt as he slowly slid his thick cock into you, drawing cries and pleads out of your lips as your body tensed up from the pain. he wanted desperately to kiss you, to praise and tell you how much he loved you - he would never in a million years think of ever hurting you, but it seemed like his mind was clouded by the sensation of you tightening and clenching around him as he started to sway his hips. you immediately wrapped your arms and legs around him, muffling your whines of pain as you cried into his neck. 

it hurt. badly.

you felt shockwaves fizz up your spine as he continued to pound you on the counter, lewd squelching sounds that could soon be heard as he started to grunt and growl, biting and drooling over your neck. 

beel was a demon after all. any humanity that continued to linger was soon out of the window as he sped up his pace, his giant cock poking and prodding at your cervix; it slightly bulging out of your stomach with each thrust.

it seemed as if it was a lightbulb moment for him as his violet eyes lit up, seeing the outline of his cock protruding from your tummy made those gnawing feelings of shame almost evaporate. 

he couldn’t take it. watching your small frame quiver and tremble against his, the way your hole continued to squeeze and milk him even as you felt yourself start to loosen up from the pleasure - it was all far too much for him. he slowly pressed his thumb onto the bulge in your stomach, mewling against your mouth as his face leaned in to kiss you. “haah, you’re so… tiny…” his words in combination with his thrusts made your stomach turn. that splitting pain that stung you so intensely to begin with started to fade, feeling it gradually being replaced with waves of pleasure as he continued to hit and pound every spot.

you arched your back in return to the pleasure that was beginning to flood over you as his hand slowly made its way down your body, lazily rubbing and massaging your clit in small circles. with his other hand tightening its grip on your thigh, he sank his claws into the flesh as he started to feel his climax rise - his thrusts getting sloppier and more erratic by the second. “fuck, beel…’gonna kill me-”

and it seemed like beel really was an animal in heat - being that if he was a dog, his tail would be pathetically wagging behind him as he was rutting desperately inside you, his tongue lolling out as he panted and heaved. “it feels too good…’can’t stop…” he felt his balls tighten as he carried on smacking his hips against yours, your moans being those of pleasure rather than of pain as you too felt your orgasm rapidly approach. he slid his hand under your thigh, propping your legs up even further up his waist so that could hit even deeper into you - not that he wasn’t already, feeling yourself practically get winded every time his huge cock slammed into you. 

drool and spit dribbled out of his open mouth, placing hot, wet kisses on your lips messily. “mmhh…fuck. ‘m close…can i cum inside you? please let me cum inside you...” his desperate and aching pleas made you melt onto the counter beneath you, burying your face into his, you muffled your moans with a kiss as you felt yourself cum suddenly around his cock. it seemed that just a final kiss was enough for him to completely burst; grunting as he unleashed and pumped copious loads of white cum into you, causing you to whimper as you felt him completely fill you up. your eyes rolled back with body twitching, feeling the way his cum oozed and dripped out of you as he frantically sought to ride out his high. 

~

he looked so cute. pathetic and quiet whimpers escaping his lips as he gently kissed your forehead, caressing your trembling thighs with his thumb as he eased his leaking cock out of you. “god beel… you made such a mess.” he pouted and carefully lifted your body off of the counter, preparing to shamefully carry you around for the remainder of the day as your legs were too weak to even stand. 

you exhaled and gave a soft kiss to his collarbones as he gently walked you towards his room while holding you in his strong arms.

and this is why baking with beel is always a terrible idea.

(and yes, he did go back and eat the tart.)

[wolfytoothy]

valentines

listen I'm sorry for not posting on valentines. I was bout to leave yall hanging because I'm lonely as fuck and I was bout to throw bricks at ever couple I see but I decided I wanted to serve so ima go ahead and post.

Here yall go.

You don’t know what was talking over people's bodies but you were seeing people becoming girlfriends and boyfriends left and right. It was honestly annoying. You were walking down the hallway with your friend. “Yo I’m throwing bricks at every single couple I see on valentines day bruh no joke” Why you said that, well it was because everywhere you looked someone was either proposing or giving gifts, and it wasn’t you. But little did you know, It was about to be you sooner or later.

Earlier that day with Miles:

It was the day before valentines day, and Miles was about to go feral. He was currently having trouble on what to give you on valentines day.

You and him had been friends for years now, and Miles wasn’t gonna lie, he may or may not have developed a crush on you. How did he know? Well he found himself becoming might jealous when boys would look back at it, and cat call you. He also found himself becoming overprotective and glaring at every boy that even looked at you in a way that indicated they wanted to date you.His mother, Rio, noticed this new behavior around you and loved it. Shiii even Aaron noticed it. He was in love. He literally had your contacts saved as ‘my mama’s’ And of cause him not knowing what to do in this situation especially when valentines day coming up, he wasn’t sure what to give you.

So he asked the three most reliable people that would give him his answer.Your best friend, your mom, and his mom.

His first victim was his mom. He went up to her in the kitchen preparing himself for a shower of kisses when he asked the question.“Ma” Miles started leaning against the counter avoiding eye contact. “Si mijo” Rio responded. “So hypothetically speaking, lets say i have a…” Miles paused as he gulped, bracing himself.

“Miles Gonzoles Morales, if you got someone pregnant-”,

“what?!no! Ma I’m 16” Miles argued.

“¿Y quién sabe qué estarás haciendo cuando yo no esté aquí?, for all i know you could be raw doging, you better be using protection” Rio said putting her hands on her hip, faceing her son. (And who knows what you be doing when i’m not here,)

“Ew,ma- well of course i'm using protection-”

“So you admit it!”

“You know what we're drifting off from the main topic” Miles said quickly. “Noooo. Lets force on that topic”, “ma, pleace” miles begged not in the mood to get grounded at the moment. Rio cound hint at the desperation in her sons voice and sighed, finally letting her some speak.

“Fine go on” Rio huffed. “Okay so… as I was saying. Persay I have a crush of mine, and there one of my closest friends, and I developed a crush, but I'm over thinking. What should I get her, or how could i confess” miles asked. Rio blinked then a smile creeped on her face.

“it's y/n, isn't” Rio smirked. Miles jolted and nodded. “how'd you know”

“miles you only have one close friend that's a female. And I know it's not ganke” Rio shrugged, making the afro latino chuckle. “so what I get her” he asked again.

Rio thought for a moment then respond. “Well she likes jewelry, and stuff animals, and love sneakers” Rio shrugged. “and since you know her so well already it should be easy to confess.”

And he took that into consideration. That day. He bought a purple flower bear, a ring that looked like chains, and LOOOORD was it iced out. And yes it was really Dimond of course. Then he got a second ring was an iced out ring with words in graverd on the inside saying “princess”. And of course he had to get the new kicks for you.Then he added a little note. Now all he had to do was give it to you.Back to you.

Present time:

It was finally the end of class and you were about to head out, till you relized miles was holding a bag. And he seemed kinda flustered. “Ohhh, does lil Mr morales have a valentines,” you teased as you sided next to him. The boy with the cornrows smirked slightly as he looked at you. “Umm” he said “Its… for you” he said quietly.

You looked at him baffled for a sec and looked at the gift. You slowly took it and smiled. “Wow miles, I didn't get you anything though” you said feeling bad and looked in the bag.

“No it's fine, but um… call me after school and tell me what you think” miles said taking his leave. You were confused by what he said and shrugged. When you got home you realized the letter. And your heart melted at how cute it was.

One year later:

It was valentines day again and it was of course you and Miles anniversary of being together. And of course miles had to make it special just for you.“Hey mama's.” He greeted pulling you in by the waist and kissing your cheek,while he giving you a bag that had hearts all over it.

You slipped him a back as well as you smiled. You pecked in the bag and pouted. “Miles, how much was this” you said pulling out a pair of shoes. “That's not important, just know I love you” miles said pecking your lips.

.............

😌✨️The end.... ✨️

I feel might lonely so yall better enjoy this 🥲😭😭

[mazeinthemiroh]

Hi! i hope your having a good day. i love your work and was wondering if you could maybe do skz headcannons with an idol s/o who’s the main dancer in their group?

stray kids with their main dancer idol! s/o

genre: headcanons; fluff, general, idol! s/o

word count: 0.8k

warnings: none

pls like and reblog if you enjoyed! feel free to request anything <3

bangchan

chan is always keen on self-improvement and finds that you help a lot

if he feels he's lacking in the dance department, the likelihood is he'll seek you out

not that he'll ever directly ask for help lmao

but sometimes you can just sense it and take the hint

he appreciates how much of a perfectionist you can be with your art. he's the same, of course

he feels like your brains are more similar than he thought to begin with, and through understanding how you work he recognises how much you focus and try hard to be the best, which is so attractive to him

lee know

is intrigued by your technique

that's how you piqued his interest before you even started dating him

being a professional dancer, he can pick out the superior dancers from each group with ease

you were easy for him to pin-point as the main dancer of your group because of your raw talent

so, he wanted to work and even perform with you

and since then, he has never once looked back

currently, you're his dancer partner, and dare i say the best fan-favourite couple ever. your chemistry when you work together is seriously unmatched

people are always waiting for your next collab

changbin

he literally thinks you're the best dancer in the industry and stands behind that statement

anytime his friends wanna tease him he's like "okay but are you dating the best dancer in the business? that's what i thought"

gets a good rise outta wooyoung tbh and he gets super competitive but we move

he loves bragging about your achievements bruh

he doesn't have time to talk about himself when he's wayyy too busy hyping you up

he's so proud of you like?? he can't help himself as embarrassed as it sounds. you just gotta go with it

he just wuvs you and wants to tell literally everyone he meets about your awesomeness ;-;

hyunjin

similar to lee know, hyunjin would want to work with you

he can't help but be enthralled by your beauty when you're performing

encourages you to do solo performances just so you get the time to showcase what you can do

wants to learn more classical ballroom dances with you because he's a hopeless romantic and is cheesy like that

he's just so in love

will probably write poetry about you and draw a dynamic, abstract painting of you dancing just cos you inspire him so much

idk you get him so mushy it's so cute

probably cries buckets when you do a super emotional contemporary dance, because... you know... its hyunjin

han

i mean it doesn't matter what position you are in as an idol, han jisung is a supportive bf no matter what and is literally your biggest fan

if you're the main rapper? he'll learn all your rap verses off by heart

if you're the lead singer? he'll dramatically sing your own group's songs until you hate it

and you being the main dancer? well, you best believe he's learning all the choreography

especially if you do solo work, my gosh

from the minute your new music video drops he's like "baby, where do you get those hips from??"

he's down bad, basically

felix

mr. heart eyes

he literally... oh my gosh

i can't even-

he literally is obsessed with the way you move like oh my goshhhh i cannot stress this enough

you got him feeling things he's never felt before, ouch

his eyes are always fixed on you during your performances, and yes the cameraman has both caught and exposed him for having his jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes sparkly and wide as he watches you dance

the fans and i other idols get a good chuckle out of his reactions

seungmin

he takes such an interest in how your work is doing

and he loves it when you do the same

he finds you have the same love and passion for dancing as he does with regard to singing

and that common ground is beautiful

it allows the conversation to flow so easily as you bond with your similar interests

the fact that you're both idols helps too, of course

gets so blushy thinking about how stunning you are when you dance. he's like a little boy when he sees you in action

he doesn't know how to react to his soulmate being so effortlessly talented

jeongin

amazed by you

but doesn't easily show it

lowkey wants to learn more from you but is too shy to ask directly, at first

so he'll get you in a dance studio and teach you how to do the iconic 'maknae on top' hips move, just for funsies

and then he'll casually ask you what your fave move is

and from there, he will learn how to improve from you

he admires you so much, sometimes he just has a hard time articulating that to you

so spending time with you and working on dance - something you both love - is how he expresses that

[rzyraffek]

Bruh I have been working on one school project for last 2weeks. So I wanna do little self insert and do y/n whos overworking and need a break (yautja one is funny)

Sfw May be read as platonic or romantic, theres some dialogue pronouns they/them Request open

Slashers with overworking y/n

Myers Micheal

Our nonverbal king is going to pick up y/n and put them in beb

No mor funny Sience for today young lady

If they dont stop after he will steal their books or keyboard

"Micheal can you help me reach my notebook? For SOME reason its on highest shelf in KITCHEN?" (I wonder how that happen) 🧍‍♂️

He wont help btw

Billy Lenz

He needs atention!!!!aaaaa!!!!

Doesnt like the whole 'project' or 'study' he litteraly lived in atticc of dorm he is over all this learning bs🙄

Yeah big suprise billy doenst like schools and overall smart people

Will cuddle her till she falls asleep! They deserve sleep

If y/n refuses to get some rest he will sit in backround just starin at their soul

Asa Emory (Collector)

Asa has sience degree(canon btw, he is an entomologist) so he had to learn a lot of stuff in his youth

But like cmon hon u cant sit there 24/7 and have only bathroom breakes😓

"Asa where is my book? I swear I put it somewhere here-" *Asa death stare* "😨oki imma go bed now😇"

Yeah they better go to bed😎 btw if y/n is learning subject like biology or chemistry he will read it to sleep. He loovees chemistry trust him its just a hobby💖

Asa is an icon he will study stuff y/n is trying to pass rn and will test them later

Yautja

"Mate why you looking at this peace of paper for few hours now? Youre eyes wanna go bad?" "Its a book it helps me learn" "mmm no i dont think so. Go outside"

Man really did use 'go touch grass' technique on them

Will try to get their attention by stealing their stuff

Will make them go lay down and do anything else but studing/working

They basicly have to tell their co-workers that their big cat(obviously they cant say that they have huge alien in home) needs to be taken care of cuz its sick atm

Also somone commented(on previous fic) that Yautja saying 'Mate' sounds british and now I cant stop thinking about british yautja

Brahms Heelshie

"Do you really have to pass that exam/this project?"

Look he loves them, but their work wont stop them from doing chores!! It cant noo!!! (Brahms will evaporate if they forgor like half of chore)

He misses spending free time with them (especially cooking. I recomend my other hc where brahms eats raw potato, i love self advertaisment)

So please speedrun ur work or he will commit crying in corner

[liaarxse]

how would the tr boys react when their s/o is the funniest person ever? like they could crack anyone up with just saying something and their humor is peak humor?

This is unbelievable...

Characters: Haruki (Pah-chin) Hayashida, Keisuke Baji, Shinichiro Sano

Warnings: None, crack if you lack cocaine

A/n: My type of humor frfr. I had a blast writing this HAHAHA

Also, can I add how insane some TR fangirls are? Like, I love my man too, but chill out, he is a fictional character, he doesn't belong to anyone. It's all fun and games until they become toxic

— Haruki (Pah-chin) Hayashida

If you don't like Pah-chin, leave

It's literally one of my top favorite characters

Anyway

Y'all were out, roaming around the city while Pah Is walking his dog, Pochi

Pochi >>>>

You were just blabbering about all kinds of shit

Toman shit, school shit, hobby shit

Shit shit

When, all of a sudden, a pregnant couple walked out of a store just a few feet away from you

Pah didn't think anything about it, probably didn't even notice them

But you?

OH YOU

You noticed A LOT more

"Y'know..." You started. "There is something about my unholy mind that when I see a guy and a girl walking by and they're a couple, and the girl is pregnant, I'm like... was it good?"

Pah was FLABBERGASTED

You? You were laughing your ass of on the middle of the side walk

Both Pah and Pochi looked at you like-

This bitch good?

"Like, OH YOU'VE BEEN RAW DOGGING IT ALL NIGHT HUH—"

"Y/n–"

"OkAY–"

"Y/n sto–"

"You've been RIDING IT" "MHMMM"

"Y/n–"

"GET THAT DICK–"

Pah elbowed you right in the stomach

And you just continued LAUGHING

Thank God the couple didn't hear you

Sweet potatoes and honey pie

This bitch mental

But you know who else is mental?

This mf in front of you, who out of nowhere starting wheezing

Like?

Are y'all not?

Embarrassed?

APPARENTLY NOT

You just started wheezing and screaming into thin air

Nobody, but you knows why

Like, even the dog is embarrassed

Stupid

Pochi had enough of your shenanigans that when Pah's hold on the leash weakend, Pochi made a RUN FOR IT

Boy just ZOOMED into space

And when I tell you

That dog is fast as a motherfucker

You and Pah? Your asses are dragging on the fucking floor

You couldn't catch Pochi even if you wanted to

Thank GOD Baji appeared from thin air and caught Pochi and you got him back

What?

Y'all seeing ghosts now?

— Keisuke Baji

Samara entered the chat

Somebody call ghost busters

Kidding, kidding

It was like, 2am and Baji was, obviously, sleeping

You?

Sleep is for the weak

So you called your sleeping boy to say something important

"Y/n. It's 2 fucking am—"

"Babe if I was a bee do you know what sound I'd make?"

"...what?"

"I wouldn't make a 'bzzzing' sound, I'd make a 'puhtk, puhtk, puhtk.'

Y/n what the fuck

You mental ass

But you could hear his muffled laughing

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Like. Bzz is boring, ya know? Puhtk-ing is wayyyy better. Like, imagine if I flew over your head. You wouldn't hear bz bz bz, but like, puhtk, puhtk, puhtk. Like a small horse with wings."

"...wh—"

He burst out laughing

Bruh

It ain't even funny

Maybe he was too sleep drunk to comprehend the situation

And you were too drunk to realize what you was saying

"Don't laugh! It's a perfectly reasonable theory that if I were to become a bee, I'd be 'tuguduking' like a horse."

Suddenly the other line went quiet

Like

Dead quiet

...

Wait

Shit

"Baji?"

He suffocated

Great job, Y/n

You ass

— Shinichiro Sano

Y'all smell that?

Smells like reincarnation to me

Anywhoooooo

You were out with Shinichiro

It was raining but who cares?

Pneumonia?

What's her snapchat?

@Pneu_yomom_nia

SKSKSKSK

You were just talking to Shinichiro when all of a sudden

"What's the feeling of being named after a bone, Shin?"

"Don't say that."

"Why, Shinbony?"

"...SHIN WHAT—"

LMAOAOAOA

Shinbony-kuuuuun 🤪

"Or like, SHINaningans."

"Y/n I swear to GOD."

"Don't, you'll go back again."

"Wha–"

Yo ass went silent

For like

2 minutes

What?

Writer Lia here, it was 2.69 seconds, my mistake

"Shini, shini yay, shini yay, shini yam-"

"Are you fucking joking?"

"SWALLA-LA-LA"

"Stop."

"SWALLA-LA-LA? SWALLA-LA-LA"

Y/n what kind of cocaine did your ass inhale?

And from where

The nose, the mouth, she bellybutton, yo fucking BOOTYHOLE ??

Cuz your ass cannot COMPETE with the shit that is coming out of YO MOUTH

I'm hilarious

I mean, Shin thinks you're hilarious, not me !!!

(Fangirls don't kill me)

Like

You both got home after like, 10 minutes

The bitch dropped the second y'all entered the house

That's because he didn't accept pneumonias snapchat friend request

[imhotasfworld]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS #6

Not really an ASTROLOGY observation but I guess it is, but people who have Scorpio/8th house placements probably feel so lucky even if they don’t know much about astrology cuz yk everybody be hypin up Plutonian things, like ik one of y’all be like “I’m a Scorpio mars and I’m so tough and sexy😍👆👆😡♏️” (YALL Are tho👀)

Libra placements. Something with these natives and spicy food, they just LOVE SPICY FOOD. I have two libra placements and I feel like I gotta put cayenne pepper on everything bruh☠️.

Mercury in scorpios are lowk so entertaining they should start a podcast Frl. Cardi b has this placement and she is so open and truly so raw when she talks. These people speak from the heart and not the mind. These people aren’t like the usual mysterious secretive Scorpio type communicators. They will literally say anything and everything☠️

PISCES PLACEMENTS people always look like they are zoning out. I have two friends with these placements and they are literally always zoning out, and the have lazy eyes too.👀👀

Libra placements with like Scorpio placements (same with 8th house venus and mars with libra placements, Scorpio sun moon etc) are probably one of the most alluring people out there. Lowk bonus points if they have like a Gemini Mercury/moon cuz then it likes makes them have an energy that’s sociable+mystery*sexiness👏 EX: Jimin from bts. He has libra sun,Gemini moon, libra Mercury ,venus and mars in Scorpio, he can whip anybody up☠️☠️ there literally this thing called jimin effect on google

Yes guys I’m one of those people who think they’re all that just cuz they have 8th house/Scorpio placements😍🫶 and you would too🙀🙀 BTW I’m a libra rising libra moon with Mercury in Gemini 😄😄😁

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

For @professionalprocrastinator22 @gravelyhalversobbing

I give you…

The 118 Ramen Chat

Eddie: uhhh how do I make ramen, do I just pour some water on it and stick it in the microwave or oven?

Buck: oven

Bobby: how about just boiling water?

Eddie: how

Teapot?

Hen: a kettle

Buck: you just put water in a pot > boil > put the noodles > put the packet stuff whenever you feel like it

Bobby: or that

Also put an egg

For extra yummy

Eddie: thanks

Do I just break the egg in the pot

Buck: yeah

Crack the egg and throw it at the ramen

Eddie: anyways

I finished

*sends photo of ramen cube in a bowl with some water*

🤤

Chim: why don’t I see water there

Eddie: tf you mean it’s right there 💀

Chim: oh just lighting

Ravi: sure hope you have something to give it flavor 😛

Eddie: uhhh salt 😛

Bobby: doesn’t it have a bag?

Ravi: you’re telling me you’ll just eat the ramen just like that? No vegetables, no broth, just water, salt and ramen?

Eddie: tf

You want me to put the bag into the water?

Bobby: …

Eddie: it’s gonna melt

Hen: what

Unpack it

Eddie: it’s a plastic bag tf

In boiling water

Ravi: open the plastic bag

Hen: the flavor

Eddie: salt 🤔❓❓❓

Ravi: WHERE IS THE FLAVOR PACK GUMMYYYYYYYYYY

Buck: ok

Inside the packaging

Were there more packages

?

Eddie: oh

Yeah

Thought it was one of those anti moisture packages

So it was flavoring 😏

Good to know for next time

Bobby: 🫥

Hen: I mean

There are instructions on the packet

100%

Just read

Eddie: shit

Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown it away 🤦🏽

Hen: well it’s still in the trash bin…?

Eddie: too late now, I ate it already 😵‍💫

Hen: the fuck did you eat?

Noodles on salted water?

Eddie: they were kinda crunchy

Buck: crunchy??????

Hen: CRUNCHY

Bobby: crunchy 🫣

Hen: LMAO

AHSAHAHAHAHA

Bobby: HEAHIUSDAS

SHSJFOROABDJXJD

Buck: did you even cook

BRUH

Ravi: 😖😤🤬

Eddie: man my stomach hurt now 🥴

Bobby: I’M OUT

*Bobby has left this conversation*

Hen: you just ate

raw noodles

And salted water

Eddie: but y’all said to put salt in for flavor 😝

Hen: I can’t

I’m laughing too much

Hahahahahaha

Buck: instant noodles has too much salt already 😨

Eddie: tf y’all said not to eat it without flavor 😰

Buck: the packaged bag

Is the flavor

????????????

Eddie: oh 🤦🏽

Ravi: Eddie, please learn to read your cooking stuff, don’t try to wing it

*Buck added Bobby to the chat*

Chim: Eddie’s cooking skills

*sends Bob the builder meme: can we fix it, no it’s fucked*

Bobby: I didn’t know you could mess up instant noodles 🫠

Buck: I mean

It’s his first time

Could be worse

Chim: you could collab with Firefox on a cooking stream

Ravi: 1. boil water

2. Pour water in bowl

3. Put ramen in

4. Put powder/oil (whichever it is) for seasoning

5. Let it soak 3-5 minutes

6. VOILA

Eddie: ok explain this

If it’s called instant noodles why did it take me 45 minutes to make

Scammed

🙃

Bobby: wait what

45 minutes?

Buck: my man took 45 minutes to cook a non-flavored half-cooked instant noodles

Eddie: 🫡

Inspiration: https://www.tumblr.com/self-loving-vampire/665151715846356992/they-really-should-teach-people-how-to-cook-in

[mindyco]

Beel x gn!Reader 🩷 [Beel saves us from NPC demons]

Warnings: none

Artwork credit: @AngyeFdez

Bruh, I was in the mood to make a super duper cliche scenario where we get lost in the Devildom and end up getting followed by fucking NPC demons, but then a hot male bod comes to save the day. So I did. Thanks, Beel. ٩(^ᴗ^)۶ For this short scenario replace your name with _____

Lost in the labyrinthine streets of the Devildom, you find yourself in a state of unease, your heart pounding with trepidation. The dark shadows seem to dance around you, whispering secrets that make your skin prickle. Each step you took felt like a treacherous journey into the unknown, and the darkness seemed to taunt you with its ominous presence. As your heart pounded in your chest, thoughts of self-doubt and anxiety swirled in your mind. Desperate for a lifeline, you reach out, trembling fingers dialing Beel's number on your D.D.D.

As the seconds tick by, the tension threatens to suffocate you, until finally, you hear a familiar voice on the other end of the line. It's Beel, his voice a soothing balm to your anxious soul. The mere sound of him is enough to ignite a spark of hope within you.

"_____? What’s wrong?" Beel's voice was laced with worry and urgency as he listened intently to your frightened words.

"Hey, Beel… I, uh, got lost, and I'm not sure where I am," you explain, your voice filled with a touch of embarrassment. "I know you're busy, but could you help me find my way back?"

Beel's deep voice on the other end carries a soothing warmth that instantly puts you at ease. "Of course, _____! Don't worry, I'll come to find you right away. Just stay on the line, and let me know what you see around you."

As you describe your surroundings, a sense of anticipation builds within you. You're oblivious to the gang of demons that lurk in the shadows, their malevolent intentions hidden behind smirks and leering gazes.

While waiting, a sudden noise startles you, causing your heart to leap into your throat. The sound seems to echo through the still night air, and your imagination runs wild with fearful thoughts. Your hand trembles and your grip on the phone tightens.

But just as panic threatens to overtake you, a familiar voice breaks through the chaos. "_____, it's Beel. I'm here, don't worry."

Suddenly, like a guardian angel, Beel strides into the scene, his presence commanding attention. A scowl forms on his face as his eyes lock onto the gang of demons, a warning etched into his expression. His massive frame seems to fill the space, casting an imposing shadow over anyone who dares to approach.

"Are you okay?" Beel asks, concern evident in his voice. "I'm sorry I scared you. Let's get out of here and go back home."

The sight of him is nothing short of breathtaking, a living embodiment of strength and protection. His muscular frame, sculpted with the precision of a divine craftsman, exudes an aura of raw power that leaves you in awe.

Beel's face, chiseled with determination and tenderness, captivates your gaze. His intense eyes, like molten amber, hold a depth that seems to reflect the entire universe. They shimmer with a gentle warmth, offering solace and understanding in their depths. His smile radiates a genuine joy, contagious and inviting, as if it holds the power to chase away any trace of darkness.

Towering above, Beel stands at an impressive height, a living testament to his otherworldly lineage. His broad shoulders and muscular arms a testament to his physical prowess. The fabric of his white hoodie clings to his frame, accentuating the contours of his muscular physique.

His hair, a vibrant shade of orange, tumbles in disarray, wild and untamed like a flame that dances in the wind. Each strand carries a life of its own, defying gravity and framing his handsome face. There's a touchable softness to his locks, an invitation to run your fingers through them, to feel their silky texture against your skin.

A/N: Sorry, I just needed to describe why Beel is so fucking hot.

In his entirety, Beel radiates a magnetic charm, a blend of strength and gentleness that is both awe-inspiring and comforting. Every aspect of his appearance, from his captivating gaze to his tousled hair, is a testament to his divine allure. It's no wonder that you find yourself drawn to him, your heart yearning for his unwavering protection and the love that emanates from his very being.

"Beel! Oh my gosh, you're here!" you exclaim, a rush of relief flooding through you. "I was so scared, but now that you're here, I feel so much better. Thank you for coming to find me."

Your words tumble out in a flurry, your nervousness giving way to an overwhelming joy upon seeing Beel's familiar face. You find solace in the way his hand gently pushes you closer to him, his touch both grounding and reassuring. You feel small in his presence, barely reaching below his chest, but his protective aura wraps around you like a shield.

As you excitedly chatter away, your words pouring out like a torrent of emotions, Beel's attention is solely fixed on you. His eyes soften, his lips curling into a tender smile as he listens to your every word. The way you light up, your eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, captures his heart, reinforcing the protective instinct within him.

Though you remain oblivious to the danger that hovers just out of sight, Beel sees it all. The demons' vile intentions are met with the full weight of his glare, a silent threat that declares they should never dare to lay a finger on you.

His arm tightens around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, as if to shield you from the preying eyes and lingering darkness. You feel the warmth and security of his touch, blissfully unaware of the menacing eyes tracking your every move. Your small hand rests comfortably in his, fingers interlaced, a connection that speaks of trust and affection.

In the midst of your animated conversation, Beel interrupts your words with a gentle request. "_____, promise me something," he says, his voice laced with both concern and affection. "Whenever you go out, make sure I'm with you, okay?"

His words hold a genuine sincerity, a deep-rooted need to safeguard you from the perils that lurk in the shadows. In that moment, you catch a glimpse of the depth of Beel's feelings, his unwavering devotion and unwavering determination to keep you out of harm's way.

Unaware of the turmoil that transpired, you nod, your trust in Beel unwavering. "I promise, Beel." you reply, your voice filled with affection and gratitude.

Beel's soft smile widens, his heart swelling with love and adoration for you. In that moment, he makes a silent vow to himself—to protect you from every danger, to be the pillar of strength you can always rely on.

Though his eyes had burned with a fierce glare when they met the demons, his gaze softens as it settles on you. He listens intently, every word you speak filling his heart with a warmth that surpasses comprehension. A tender smile graces his lips, his eyes twinkling with adoration. In that moment, he sees you for the precious soul that you are, innocent and delicate in a world teeming with darkness.

His proximity alone offers a sense of security, even as the demons skulk in the shadows, their malicious intentions hidden from your unsuspecting gaze.

As you continue to walk alongside Beel, a sudden movement catches your attention. Before you can react, Beel swiftly scoops you up into his arms, eliciting a soft yelp from your lips. You instinctively grasp onto his broad shoulders, your eyes locking with his.

"Beel, why are you carrying me? Did something happen?" you ask, your voice filled with curiosity. As you instinctively lean forward, attempting to catch a glimpse of what transpired behind him, a firm yet gentle resistance meets your attempt, preventing you from peering past his broad frame.

A subtle tension momentarily flickers in Beel's expression, a mix of protectiveness and a desire to shield you from whatever lies behind. His eyes meet yours, a silent plea urging you to trust him, to relinquish the need for answers in this moment.

Beel glances down at you with a warm smile, his eyes sparkling with affection. "I just thought it'd be faster this way. And I don't want you to get tired from walking," he replies, his voice gentle and reassuring.

Confusion flickers in your eyes, but you can't help but return his smile. The feeling of being held in his strong embrace, your feet no longer touching the ground, fills you with a mixture of surprise and delight. With each step he takes, his pace quickens, his strides covering ground effortlessly.

As Beel carries you through the labyrinthine streets, your heart beats in sync with the rhythm of his steps. The world blurs around you, the dimly lit alleys and looming shadows fading into insignificance as your focus remains on Beel's unwavering gaze. The corners of your lips curl upward, a silent testament to the trust and connection that grows between you.

In the gentle sway of Beel's movements, you find a sense of security and belonging. The world around you may be filled with hidden dangers, but in this moment, you feel invincible, cocooned in the safety of Beel's arms. You relish in the closeness, your fingers tracing invisible patterns on his shoulders.

As you continue your conversation, Beel's steps remain steady and purposeful, his eyes scanning the surroundings to ensure your safety. Despite the lingering danger that had threatened you earlier, the two of you find solace in each other's company, your words flowing effortlessly and filling the air with warmth and laughter.

～ 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪