#like even if the person was wrong and aplogizes or whatever they still get a gazillion death threats

[leezuhh]

what was that post about how people are getting afraid to ask stuff especially to popular bloggers because all of that person's followers will dogpile on them for something mostly innocuous,,,,

[culkinkieran]

ugh i knew jimmy and kim were becoming more and more morally corrupted with each season and yet the last episode upset me anyway i genuinely feel frustrated

[summerlovingbaby]

Flinch

He was only back at camp for a week when he saw her. The love of his life. Y/N L/N, daughter of Athena and quite possibly the most beautiful person that he ever had the pleasure of getting to know, and eventually dating.

Percy was as happy as a clam, hanging out with Y/N almost daily. They read together, made bracelets for each other, did archery, and even practiced Greek together.

They were at lunch when it first happened. He reached a hand to her face to tuck a braid behind her ear, and she flinched. He brushed it off as something that was a luck of the draw. Then it happened again, when he reached for her hand to walk her back to her cabin, and again when he went to kiss her goodnight.

Three times wasn’t a luck of the draw. Three times wasn’t something to brush off, three times was no coincidence. He knew something was wrong when he saw the brief look of something that flashed over her face.

He saw that same look that his mother had when his step father raised his hand. That same blank expression. That fear, that adreniline. He reconginized it, and he didn’t like it.

The next day, he talked to her about it. After lunch, he made sure to pull her away from the friend group, and find themselves on a isolated pinic table just behind cabin 3, but deep enough into the forest so that no one would bother them.

“ Now I’m gonna ask you something... and I need you to be honest with me about it, okay.”

“ Okay.... did I do something? If I did-”

“ No, no,no. Its just that I... well I... I don’t really know how to say it.”

“ Are you breaking up with me?”

“ No. Its just...”

“ Spit it out Jackson!”

His face softened.

“ Are you okay?”

“ Yeah?”

“ Its just, you’ve flinched alot lately and I worry that-”

“ It was nothing, just a reflex.”

“ You said that you went home for the first time in a while, and I just want to make sure that-”

“ Thin ice Jackson.”

“ Y/N... I can tell that you’re lying.”

“ I’m not lying.”

“ Then why won’t you look at me?”

“ Because... I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“ Please don’t cry.”

“ I’m sorry.”

“ Don’t aplogize.”

“ I... I... I-”

“ What happened.”

“ My dad. I went home and at first he was nice, he let me stay up as late as I wanted and bought me ice cream but then he would drink. After 3 he was a blast , but after 6 he would get weepy about my mom.”

“ Y/N.”

“ After 8 he would get mean, and hit me, over and over and over again. And I would have to lock myself in the closet to get him to stop.”

“ And my brother-”

“ Your brother?”

“ He didn’t have to drink to beat me, he just did it whenever he felt like.”

She clamped a hand over her mouth like she said too much. Her eyes went wide, and she looked panicked for a moment, before her face settled into one of sadness.

“ Why didn’t you tell me?”

“ I... I don’t know, its a bit embarrassing I guess.”

“ Y/N there is no need to be emba-”

“ I’m a demi-god for gods sake, and I still let it happen.” tears were falling down her face, and she looked like she would explode.

“ Y/N...  everything’s gonna be okay.” Percy for one time in his life was at a loss for words, and he didn’t quite know what to say.

“ Percy?”

“ Yeah?”

“ Promise me you won’t kill anybody?”

“ Yeah, yeah, whatever?” he shrugged.

TAGLIST INFO

[jjkpls]

first love (m)

genre : fluff, angst, light smut

pairing : kim seokjin x reader (f)

word count : 4.6k

warnings/content : mentions of sexual intercourse, mature language, infidelity, separated parents, unresolved past relationship, dad!seokjin, mom!reader

Seokjin doesn't mean to overreact. He knows he shouldn't. Knows you hate it. Knows, because he's been told enough times, that these types of reactions are unnecessary and possibly harmful for a child.

He can't really help it when deep down he knows he was meant to be an actor. Right before his actual birthday, his mother had dreamt of giving birth on a theatre stage, for God's sake.

But his father wasn't into it, given his ambitions, his own growing company and all the promising opportunities he envisioned both for him and for his only son. Therefore Seokjin went to law school, graduated with excellent mentions, followed an accelerated program in business development and managing and joined his father exactly where he was expected.

He isn't exactly complaining.

He likes his job, most of the time, likes the money and luxury that come with it especially and appreciates the work safety.

Now, you can't blame him for being quite the drama queen in his everyday life. All that pent up, buried alive passion for the arts of acting need to express, somehow.

That's what he'd say to you when you used to yell at him for starting weeping loudly in your ear when he'd call you to cancel a date last minute because he couldn't come, instead of just, cancelling it, aplogize, get over it like a normal person.

Or when you'd kick him in the ribs because he'd be all wild gestures and screeching screams when he'd teach your son to ride a bike and he would fall, as he should to learn, making the boy cry even when he wasn't hurt, solely from the projection of his dad's fear.

You're not here to tell him yourself but the glazed, annoyed roll of his son's eyes tells him precisely what you would. Those eyes are the worst. The prettiest he's ever seen. The ones he loves the most. The ones you also wear on your own pretty face.

"Since when?" He has a hand pressed to his chest, preventing a heart attack it seems, gaze wide and alarmed. Timothy sighs.

"A while. They were already together for Valentine's Day-" He explains patiently. That kid is sweet. The way he's slumped over, obviously annoyed to have to be the one telling his dad and having to deal with the consequences but still, he's watching over him with a soft eye, mouth torn in a sympathetic pout. He wouldn't mind his parents to get back together even though he is almost sure it wouldn't be a good idea for the both of you. He's heard tales of dysfunctional families, of parents hurting each other and their children and doesn't want that for any of you. He can't imagine it happen. You two are too good for that. That's probably why you had decided to separate in the first place.

Seokjin is quickly making maths in his head. Not really counting the time but situating himself in that time frame. Where was he at when she was out with this guy? What was he doing?

He may have been in Japan when it started. He remembers a call from you, you were asking him to take Timothy for a couple of days. You sounded embarrassed and he didn't know why but couldn't take the time to investigate, he had a flight expecting him and a conference call waiting to start in a couple of minutes. Important stuff. None of it would have mattered if he had known what you were up to.

"You okay, dad?" Timothy asks, awkward but kind. His mom basically.

"Devastated." Seokjin says with the widest grin on his face. He's not devastated. It'd be ridiculous to be for something absolutely predictable, fair and normal. He's not mad, nor disappointed. You deserve to be seeing people, have them desire you and make you feel good. He wishes it were him but if he can't do that, if you won't let him, he's glad you still can allow someone else to do it.

He's surprised though, he can't lie about that.

Honestly. That's stupid. But he didn't expect one second that you were seeing someone. You never mentioned anything and you didn't look like it. If there's a way you look when you're dating.

He remembers rosy cheeks and short skirts. You were younger.

"You think it's serious?" He asks casually, surprising even himself. His heart is in a turmoil but he showed enough to Timothy, acting like he was half dying, gasping for air and all.

"I don't know. She doesn't want to bring him home yet. Like, introduce him to me. I asked." Timothy, not only is he nice, he is smart. He's thirteen, shouldn't know much about Love and adults' matters yet. He's supposed to still be at that stage when one believes children and adults are two very distinctive race of humans, one that depends on the other and the other having it all figured it out, having reached a certain knowledge and expertise on all things and can't really be wrong on accident.

Timothy knows precisely what his dad would love to hear. And he gives it to him. Not to feed him vain hopes. Not even for this tiny hidden greed to have you back together. Simply because it's the truth and if for once the truth is pleasant to hear, then he should give it. Seokjin's smile only gets brighter. He shares a glance with his son, a glint winking his way and Timothy rolls his eyes, unable to hide the lift of the corners of his lips.

"Anyway, I heard you won that science fair at school?" Seokjin has already left his seat on Timothy's bed. He's rummaging through his leather bag and Timothy knows what it means. He has a present for him. Seokjin always has a present for him. Most of the time, he can justify it by some event or some success Timothy had encountered. The thing is they don't see each other that often, therefore, almost systematically, something new has come about and Seokjin can explain why he's brought a brand new console, a new laptop, a TV for his room or that one limited edition of this way too expensive branded pair of sneakers.

You used to get really mad at that. You'd say that he shouldn't, that he didn't need to bring him all these expensive stuff because what he'd like (it was a long time ago when Timothy was too young to have his own opinion and you would speak for him) is for his dad to be here more often. You'd say he wouldn't have to buy him shit for any other times than Christmas and his birthday if only he could be here for him. His dad would be his present.

It caused a lot of drama, a lot of crying. You had made sure not to scream, not to be too angry but Timothy felt from the way you squeezed him hard against your bosom that you were very upset. His dad had apologized, had said the most with his eyes only for you to understand. Timothy was staring, trying to get it too because he was involved, wasn't he? But that was one of those adults moments he wasn't allowed to participate in yet.

From then on, his dad wasn't late anymore when he'd set dates with him, his phone would be turned off when they were together and he would text him more often.

It was really nice. Because at first, Timothy felt that maybe if his dad wasn't so present it was because he didn't want to. For some reasons. He thought maybe he was too much of a coward or too nice possibly, to leave you two altogether, to disappear from your lives and start another one somewhere else, one he would have chosen and shaped as he'd want. Turns out Seokjin really appreciated his son and the time he got to spend with him. The more time they spend together, the more Timothy is met with awed eyes and whistling lips, impressed as his dad is by his smartness, his humour and hidden talents. He just was very busy. You explained that to him. That he was passionate by his work, that it required a sacrificial amount of time in one's life, and that he shouldn't ever take it personally because even he loved you and couldn't give you that time.

It's the conversation that led him to think that maybe his parents are meant to be, except they won't because... circumstances.

In any case, no matter how often they meet now, Seokjin still brings him gifts each and every time. The difference is that he has to think of a reason, sometimes make one up to not be struck down by your fury.

"Yes, I did."

"Of course, you did! Cause my son is the smartest." Timothy waits for the moment he says that his brain and the magic fuel filling it all come from him. It doesn't come. Instead, a neat white box is held in front of his face. There's a pretty tie made of ribbons glued in the middle, to hide the picture of what's inside, but there's no doubt that this is an iPhone. He rips the tie off and surprise surprise it's the iPhone 12.

"Mom is going to kill you." Timothy says first, before even thanking him, heart pounding from excitement and face split in two by the wide banana grin.

"Probably." He shrugs, unapologetic.

"Thanks, dad!" Timothy doesn't forget to add, eyes shiny and toothy grin even shinier.

He hopes so. That you're going to be mad. You two are too old to have petty fights now. You don't waste your energy in screaming and finding the worst things to say to hurt his feelings. You just cross your arms under your tits, clench your jaws and adopt that pout on your mouth, eyelids low and eyebrows high, the embodiment of condescendence and you look sexy as hell. He smiles and winks at you, calls you by an old pet name and you're swooning even though you try to hide it. No one is charming like he is, and no one charms you as he does therefore he's not too worried.

His son was just going around with this prehistorical device you dared to call a smartphone. With the broken screen, and the non-functioning selfie cam and the safari app needing a good ten minutes to charge one fucking page -this was deliberate as you wanted him to have a phone to call and text you and not go and lose himself on the internet or whatever. He's almost fourteen though and he's doing a great job at school and is such a good kid at home, he deserves it.

"I know and I don't care. I don't need you to tell me my son is good." You are infuriated. The perfect picture of you he had imagined, the only difference is that, you've just walked out of work, you seem to have had a rough day and your hair is a mess. With the wild locks hanging off of your bun, framing your pretty face, you look even better. "I don't want him to have something so expensive on him, first of all."

"His dad is richer than Cresus, what do you expect?" The cockiness dripping from every pore should suffice to make you explode. Of course, it doesn't. He has that stupid side grin. The one he's got you with in the first place.

"And what about- internet and even just the darn AppStore? He's too young to-"

"Are you worried about porn?" He frowns, you flush. That's precisely one of the things you think about. You don't want him to fall upon stuff he doesn't need to see -in your opinion for a good ten years at least- or start taking interest in social medias where creepy fuckers could hang out.

You flush because apparently, it's a word complicated still to hear from him. "I've made a parental software installed in it. And a localisation too. Not that we really need it with him but you know."

"Oh." All tension escapes from your torn face and tensed shoulders.

"Oh, wow, my first love is such a good dad." He mocks, voice high, hardly resembling yours, barely biting back a smirk. He even goes as far as swiping the right side of his bangs back, eyes closed, mannerism insufferable.

"Shut up." More flush. A fist to his chest for punishment. Bad idea. Apparently, he went back to the gym.

"You should be nicer because I have something for you too." He says, eyes glancing mischievously as his hand dips in the pocket of his trench coat. "Well. I don't want it." You cross your arms on your chest again which only serves to push your tits forward to him and he wonders what you're playing at. Probably the same game he plays when he winks and smiles and lifts his eyebrow to you.

"Wait 'til you see it." He sees the moment you realize it's a jewellery box. He reads the instant wild excitement, he catches also the gloomy shadow you try to paint over it because you don't want to accept it. How many times does he need to be told to stop? He won't ever stop.

"You can't buy me, Seokjin." You're eyeing the velour box in his hand, a tiny beautiful red in this large pearly white palm. You want it. You always do. You don't dare uncross your arms though because you know that if you even do something as reckless as taking it in your hand, just to have a look at it, you won't be able to refuse it.

"Of course, I can." More of that smirk. You glare, it makes him wheeze as he does.

You have never ever been able to refuse any of his shiny presents. You're not a gold digger, that's precisely why you felt so guilty all the time, accepting to receive from him things you could never afford for him -or yourself. He's born richer than you'll ever be, he loves to spend it on his loved ones -and on cars and designer clothes- and amongst everything else he loves, he adores covering you in shiny little rocks.

No one has ever worn diamonds the way you do. You look beautiful without them, magnificent with them. They were made to enhance your beauty and you were made to give them sense.

"You're such a dick." You say, tone way too monotonous to still have been in total control of your free will. Your eyes are glued to the shine of the two dainty clear earrings nested in the case. He's holding it open in front of your nose, like a hypnotizing stick. He sees your determination wavers. Your arms have just untied. Your hand is getting close. He smiles already savouring his victory.

"Take them, petal, I don't think your new boy could ever afford them." Your hand freezes mid-track, face falling you look up. He's a bit surprised to see guilt in those eyes. Shame and guilt. Even though, you have the right to see whoever you want. Obviously.

"How-" His head tilts slightly towards the hallway, where the bedrooms and the one Timothy is in, probably playing with his new phone. "Great. Bribing our son into giving you off my personal information."

"I gave him the iPhone after he told me." Seokjin feels the need to precise. His son loves him and he confided for this very reason. He wants to believe. He hopes that it's not because he's worried his dad would have a mental breakdown if he were to learn the news the day his mom would invite him to their wedding or something.

You sigh. You don't know what to say it seems. He doesn't want you to feel upset. He's not going to congratulate you either. He can't.

"Take them."

"He could- he's a doctor, you know." You sound like a petty little girl saying that, fingers aiming for the box but mouth reshaped by contempt.

Thankfully, the mesmerizing glee on your lovely face makes up for this last information.

A doctor.

He snorts, huffs and rolls his eyes.

"Are you really being disdainful over the noblest of all professions?"

"I bet he's not as handsome as I am." Seokjin says, staring away into space in a very Vogue kind of pose.

"And it's relevant because your face saves lives too, right?" You add to his clownery, biting on the smile wanting to take over your face.

"Precisely." You're already putting them on, watching your fingers work in the reflection on the microwave door. He's loving it. One is on, reflecting the light coming from the window, bringing a new sense to your whole stance. You don't look tired anymore. You look very fancy. Sexier than before. Your butt sways a little in excitement when you take a new look at yourself, now beautifully decorated and he's reminded of an idea he once had but never got to realize.

He wanted to have a fashion designer make a garter holder made of tiny diamonds. Solely diamonds. It would fit you just right, maybe a bit tight on you, would dig slightly in the meat of your thighs, enough to look fucking sinful and not too much so it doesn't hurt. He was quite young when he had the idea first and was probably not rich enough to make it happen.

He now owns a few palaces perched on the last stage of skyscrapers in three of the most expensive cities in the world and he would sell one in a beat if it meant he could get that for you and see you wear it for him.

You'd probably end up accepting it and then wear it for your new boy so that's out the question.

He doesn't hesitate when he reaches a hand forward, slip his fingers through the tie holding your hair in a bun and slide it off. You don't even flinch, he's still allowed to do that.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." You whisper with a smile, both for the compliment and for the present.

"You went to the hair salon." You nod, forcing yourself not to show your surprise. He doesn't need it to throw himself some flowers, "See? I noticed." He adds with way too much pride for so little.

"Your lenses work, congratulations." Sarcasm is the only answer to his stupidity, you both have figured this out long ago. "Is he nice?" Seokjin can't help but ask. He doesn't want to know too much about him. Kind of hopes that it won't be necessary as the guy won't last too long. But he can't resist his curiosity.

"Yes." You say without much of a hesitation. "Last week, he took me to this nice French restaurant in Songpa." You tell, eyes looking away, a bit pensive, mindlessly playing with one strand of your hair. Your face is taken over by that air. Seokjin realizes then that you really like him.

"I used to take you to very nice restaurants all the time, remember?" He's just messing around now. He knows it's not that relevant. Knows it won't get him higher in your regard,

"And I would spend half the date with the waiter while you'll have yours with your phone. I do remember." Especially given you don't recall your common past the same.

He does remember now that you mention it. His memory has been awfully selective and mainly, what he could picture when he thought about those times, is how beautiful you looked, how much he wanted you and felt like even sitting right next to you, he couldn't satisfy that need, was missing you even if you were right there, and the mind-blowing sex too. The later probably happening because he owed to make it up to you because indeed, his job was on the dates too and you hated that. He remembers the late mornings, the lazy ones, you'd make him carry you on his back because your legs and your hips hurt too badly.

"Ouch!" Toppling over, hand on his bosom where it actually really hurts, he yelps in agony, pretending to have been shot. You giggle and slap his shoulder, pester him to stop when you both hear Timothy ask from his room if everything's okay. You'd think he would know by now that his dad is just a clown whose shenanigans shouldn't be taken seriously.

"Are you seeing someone these days?" What a shame, Seokjin really thought for once he'd be solely cool and collected and handsome. Instead, he can feel his ears start to burn in embarrassment, walks a few steps back, pretending to want to throw a glance through the window when really, he'd do anything to not have see you notice.

"Someone?" He huffs. "Some three, actually some four or five. You know how the ladies get with me-" He sounds dumb as hell. It suffices to make you laugh. You've always laughed at his antics. Even when you were going through complicated times, like the pregnancy and the soon to follow break up, he'd try to dry your cheeks and lighten your gaze, heartbroken as he was to see you like that, and it would always work.

"And I know how bad you are with maths." He nods, doesn't look at you, simply stares at the shiny tip of his italian shoes. "You should call me sometimes, Jin." You don't need to tell him, he knows. You say that to him almost every single time. It's just you being kindhearted, the way you've always been. But first, he hates the idea that somehow, to some degree, it's a pity hand you're holding out for him. And secondly, he knows he'll fuck up if he calls.

He won't be able to talk about his job or politics or what's on the dumb tv these days. He'd probably start by asking what you're wearing and end it all by serenading you. What a bad idea. "You don't ever call, only Tim. Which is fine but-" He is lonely, he does miss you, but he's not that stupid. "I miss you too, you know." You look awfully sincere when you say this. There's still a sad shade to your eyes and he suspects it comes from you worrying about him rather than you simply wanting him more in your life. Maybe it's there for both reasons. He can't be mad at you for caring about him still, can he? Ultimately, it's sweet. It's not your fault he tends to be a loser in his very personal life.

He wouldn't know who he is trying to comfort when he strides forward and place a kiss on your cheek. The other one he's cradling in his palm feels warmer the longer he touches it. He doesn't let it go once he backs up and away. You're looking up to him with your eyes looking all round and childish. Quiet and in expectancy. You look like you do when you would wait for him to kiss you. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip and he smirks.

"Expecting me to kiss you?" He asks with an eyebrow raised high. Pretend judgment in his tone, even remonstrance. As if. "How scandalous, when you already have a boyfriend." You know he's just kidding and he can tell that. He wouldn't play with that if he wasn't sure. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, make you feel wrong or bad in any way. He loves you too much for that. You could let him kiss you and he wouldn't hold you accountable for it. Therefore he does. Because he's dying to since the last time it happened a couple of weeks back. And when your own lips welcome his, with that much willing and tenderness, he suspects you've had too.

He doesn't allow it to go too far. He thought you would stop him, at some point, but you don't. He's the one pulling away when his tongue, instinctively, means to reach out for your own. He knows what comes after that, and what comes after that and after and after. And even if you transpire guilt and shame, he can sense in the way your eyes stare into his that you would have let it all happen.

He's not lacking in desire, he hopes you know that. Honestly, since earlier, and that random flash of the diamond garter holder, his brain is half clouded by the thought of your thighs and his face buried in between them. You used to make the most delicious sounds, pulling at the root of his hair and chasing your high with your hips. Also now that he's met your mouth again and he envisioned what could happen if he just let go, he can't help but think about that dresser in your room. The gigantic thing you wanted him and Timothy to put together as sort of a father and son enterprise to bound or whatever - he ended up paying a guy to do it for them and they played Mario Kart instead but you don't need to know that. Point of the matter is, that massive dresser has a massive mirror on its door and that massive mirror sits perfectly in front of your bed. And all he can think about is how bad he'd like to fuck you on your bed while you'd watch yourself in it. He'd pull back your hair, hold in tight in his fist like he knows you love so you could see your own cute face while his cock would reshape your cunt to its fitting, all this with the pretty little shiny earrings adorning your ears.

Fuck, what a concept.

And it is to say that right now, he knows, you'd let him. He's not that wicked though. He feels your too weak to resist him today therefore he's not even going to chance it. He doesn't want you to do something you'd hate yourself for afterwards.

"I should go, I still have documents to send for a new contract before-" He takes a look at the expensive watch heavy on his wrist, you roll your eyes. "Half an hour ago, great." He offers you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes no matter how hard he tries before he's off to the hallway, giving you his broad back. "I'm going to say bye to Tim."

"It's just- like that, Seokjin." The words are pretty badly chosen. They don't mean much. Seokjin still gets it though. He can picture you behind him, shrugging your shoulders and tilting your head to the side. It doesn't mean much.

"I know, petal. Don't worry." He throws over his shoulder, faux lightness in his tone even though his heart feels raw. It doesn't mean enough, is more accurate. This kiss like every single one of your shared looks and words and bickering and touches, they all mean that you still fit perfectly good together. However, it's not enough because somehow, someday, you came to the conclusion that you were not meant to be. He's confused as to why and how he agreed with you then. Here's the main reason why he never calls you.

When Timothy looks up from his new phone, wearing your eyes and his smile, he feels a whole new range of pain affected to his sensitized heart. How can you not see that you're meant to be?

A/N: Happy Lunar New Year :) this little thingy was inspired by Arsène Lupin and the relationship between Assane and Claire for those who watched it! I don’t know if i translated well the alchimy and unfightable attraction and connection they still have even after having seperated. ANYWAY, hope you all are doing fine, hope you liked this, LET ME KNOW what you thought, tell me about your day, your resolutions if you have any, what’s the weather like where you at etc lmao xoxo

PS: stay tuned for a new upcoming series i’m quite excited about ~~

[furiousgoldfish]

How to cut ties with a guilt-tripper

So if you're like me, you probably ran across few people who seem very enthusiastic to talk to you and are overly sweet but the second they're not getting what they want, they turn agressive, nasty, and begin with guilt tripping. It's usually after they go too far, say something you know a decent person wouldn't say, or show something you know is a giant red flag, that you realize you need to break ties with them. For the most part, this includes a confrontation, and you can tell they're not going to take it well, you're going to get guilt tripped, they're gonna turn nasty and try to hurt you.

I've written this script for how to get thru this conversation with minimal damage to you. It's not super satisfying, you don't get to tell them off, but it has proved effective in ending their manipulation techniques.

First thing, you need to take a break from them to clear your mind and be completely sure in your narrative: You want this person to leave you alone, you know what they did and said and no amount of gaslighting can change it, you're upset with them for reasons, and you can't be convinced of thier good intentions anymore. Once you're collected and calm, you can go and explain to them that they hurt you, you don't find this acceptable, and you're upset.

Now, since they're a guilt tripper, they're going to immediately retalliate with 'you actually hurt me worse, you don't know what I've been thru', you're hurting them by calling them out, even you taking a break might be framed as aggressive and hurtful behaviour. At this point, even if you know they're lying to put you on the defensive, just apologize. 'It wasn't my intention to hurt you, but I recognize that I did, and I am sorry.'

Now, you can build that further into your narrative and say. 'Since we both hurt each other, it's okay to conclude we're not a good fit as friends."

Now this is likely to upset them, because you've used their manipulation to build your own narrative, and their point was to bully you into submission. They might get angry at you for apologizing, and backpedal with quickly forgiving you, or pretending they weren't 'hurt that bad', or even completely gaslighting you and claiming you don't hurt each other at all. This is where you can also be sure that cutting ties with them is a right thing to do, because gaslighting you like that is a red flag.

You can continue with 'I don't feel safe talking to you anymore, I don't want to put me, or you, thru something like this again. We'd both be happier people with friends who don't cause this amount of distress to each other.'

Now at this point they're really going to get the idea that you want to stop talking to them, and they will either keep gaslighting you about how it's all a misunderstanding and you're fine, or appeal to your sense of obligation and remind you of all of the good times and demand to know if this means nothing to you. You can allow 'Yeah it was good while it lasted' and aplogize for whatever obligation you now 'can't fulfill', and you're sorry for disappointing them. If they start guilt tripping you on how you're the only person they have and how they feel abandoned and wronged, just apologize again and maintain the narrative 'You see we trigger bad things in each other, I don't want to hurt you any more.'

Apologizing to a someone who hurt you doesn't feel right, but the message you're sending here is: "Pretending to be hurt will only get you an apology, not control over the situation, not control over my next actions, and you're only giving me more reasons to leave."

Now if they reach to gaslighting and insisting you just 'understood everything wrong' and 'this is only happening because your perception is damaged, agree with them. Say "you're right, and you shouldn't have to put up with someone like me. You deserve better. I'm awful for you."

Now this is again sending them a message that any attacks at you will only further your own narrative, and they're likely to quickly stop attacking you, or take this as a way to change the narrative to paint you as a villain. And you should let them. At this point you are lying, and you are saying anything just to get rid of them, while being fully aware you're saying complete nonsense.

Guilt trippers that reach this stage of backpedaling, changing the narrative every few seconds, gaslighting and attacking, are likely to be covert narcissists, and they will not be able to leave you alone without painting themselves as the biggest victim, and changing the entire narrative so that you were, the entire time, using and manipulating them, you were toxic, and they are now actually cutting ties with you, because you are bad. We want them to do this because otherwise they will fly into narcissistic rage and you only want to get rid of them anyway, it's obvious at this point that their narrative is completely self-serving and can change any second, based on what they want from you. So this is why you're opening the door for them to act as your victim, they will see it as a way out that doesn't make them feel scorned, and they're likely to go on about how awful you are; in fact, they'll try to find a weak spot to hurt, they'll attempt to trigger you and provoke you to defend yourself.

Do not defend yourself. No matter how heinous and gross and hurtful and wrong the accusation is, only say 'Yep, I agree, you couldn't be more right.' This will let them know that all their attacks are useless, and they're not getting to you. They'll very soon get bored of your complete apathy and accept that they can't get anything from you anymore.  If you at any point defend yourself, it will create an opening for them to know where to attack you, it will immediately get worse.

This is also why you have to stay calm and collected, and sure in your own version of events. They will try to push you into an emotional state, because it's way easier to manipulate and hurt you that way. Sometimes, if they know how to trigger you, they will manage to draw your emotions, and this is not a failure on your side. We're all human, we get hurt when someone we thought to be our friend acts this way. You never take responsibility when someone manages to hurt you. They set out to hurt another human being. They're 100% in the wrong.

After the guilt tripper finally gives up, and blocks you out of frustration, talk to someone who you know will side with you. Even if you are completely self-assured, all these attacks at your sanity will get to you, and it's soothing to know you still have people who will not question your reality and care that you're safe. You also should feel fairly messed up from knowing you hung out with that nasty piece of work, and relieved you no longer have to. Ideally you would just block them without going thru this entire ordeal, but who out of us can do that? I never could. I need that final confirmation that I'm doing the right thing, and that gaslighting in the end sets me right. Normal people withdraw almost immediately after knowing someone no longer wishes to talk to them, and would never put you thru this mess.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

Family time is a fun time! ft Drunk Lee Soo.

And I honestly think he’s fitting all ten years of pain and suffering into a few months, which Ouch!

Lee Soo has officially become Wooyeon lol Thanks to this, I remembered I'm watching a romcom hahahaha Seriously, what’s with all this pain? I couldn’t even laugh at anything last week, not without sarcasm and irony I mean.

“Who? Me? Dumped? ME?!“

HAHAHAHAHAHA he called his dad, awww I love that. It might’ve been a mistake but I want to believe that it wasn’t. That he subconsciously wanted to talk to his dad on the moment he felt the lowest and was suffering because of lovesickness. Which show us Lee Soo, inside, is a kid who still needs his parents.

Aww I love his parents for trying. They really fucked up in the past, but they’re still trying to be with their son. And they were having an awkward dinner that slowly became more and more comfortable, until it was really like a family one, with his dad teasing him and her mom all worried about her son’s love life. He’s reconnecting with his parents. Notice the difference, before he called them mother and father, distant and cold. Now it's mom and dad, with a bit of exasperation, but one that goes with a sense or warmness and closeness. Growth. Lee soo just continues to get better and better. 

I also loved that her mom apologized for his traumas lol and said that she and his dad were in the wrong so Lee Soo shouldn’t be paying for their sins. And that she’s worried Lee Soo might act cold and mean to hide his scars, which uh, I have news for you, lady. Lee Soo actually looked shy and embarrased about her aplogy, though. And that really shows he isn’t angry anymore.

Despite whatever Wooyeon has been doing since last week (okay last week I get, but this ep? She’s just mean) I do think she is good for Lee Soo. Or not so much her, but the love Lee Soo feels for her which has inspired him to be a better person (he’s not perfect by any definition, nor he will ever be, I know, so let’s move on) he’s warmer to people in general and a bit less full of himself. And it leaks to all the other aspects of his life, like the relationship with his parents and his work.

The boy who was afraid of love and getting hurt by it, has now a big wound with Wooyeon’s name on it, but at the same time, that broke his “curse” and has revealed the real Lee Soo. He just needs a bit of work, but who doesn’t?

[wantingtobekorra]

Fuck You: A Story/ Rant About Shitty Friendships and People

I needed to get this off of my chest. It’s not to garner sympathy, but a way to vent. A way to get all this shit away from me because a therapist is too fucking expensive.

Fuck You:

Miranda, my childhood best friend from when we were 5 years old to 10. When things were supposed to be simple and innocent but you decided to replace me with the new girl, Sydney. I tried to hold onto the relationship but I moved away and that was that. I’ve grown now and I can see that it was a natural process and I’ve learned that our relationship wasn’t as good as I remembered it to be, though I’m still grateful for the memories that we shared though they may be tinted blue through the

Fuck You:

Ada, my high school best friend who I bonded with in the second week of class over our mutual love of country music. I was louder and more outgoing and you were a bit shyer but it worked, we balanced each other. But then your shyness and constant apologies for simple things started to annoy me and I didn’t realize what the scars on your wrists meant when you asked me to get a band-aid from the office to cover them. Then your dad died and things changed. I never blamed you for that or how your mother and brother abused you, but I was still hurt when you ignored me, were always late to plans I had made, and never invited me to your house in the 4 years that we were friends. I still loved you and would have done anything to just have you be there for me in the same way that I wanted to be there for you. High school ended though and I asked you to coffee to catch up on how our summers were. We talked and everything seemed fine but when I texted you the next day, you never replied. And that was that; we haven’t talked since. I’ve grown now, and I see that our backgrounds and personalities were almost too different to reconcile. I was too naive and selfish at times to see what was happening with you and you were too closed off and inconsistent to really be there for me. It hurt for a long time but I’ve accepted it and have moved on; though not without scars and fears that I carry with me.

Fuck You:

Tina, the one person who I had truly opened myself up to. I hate you the most because you knew what this would do to me. I met you when I had just turned 21 in the most random way possible; on a car ride with a mutual friend. Surprising -we both joked- since neither of us liked leaving the house to meet new people. We got along so well though, that even years later we joked about how we scared our friend with how much we had in common: a love of Criminal Minds, Disney, Marvel, Guys who typically weren’t hot but we found them to be anyways. We got so close so fast that 6 months after we met, we went to Disneyland during Spring Break...but it didn’t go well. You pulled away in the last few days and I didn’t know why so we spent the flight home in silence. And the week after that was silent as well. I assumed that our friendship was over as it had been with the others. Something goes wrong and they run, not trying to fix whatever had happened that left me trying to figure what I had done wrong...if anything.

But you surprised me, you texted me a week later and apologized, you took responsibility for what had happened and told me that you wanted to work through it. I accepted but on one condition, that if something went wrong again, to please tell me immediately. Even if it was something that was hard to say or to hear, I wanted to know. And you promised. And I believed you.

We kept being friends, the best of friends. We would text and you would know what I was doing before I even told you. We came up with code emojis and special ways to tell each other that we loved each other (🐋). We would go see the latest Marvel film and then immediately go buy merchandise to make us feel better because we always cried in them. Every. Single. Time. We would custom make each other’s birthday and Xmas gifts, spending months making them to fit each other’s personality. You made an effort and I loved you for it.

Then I decided to travel. I had talked about it for years and I had finally decided to do it. You supported me through it all, even helping me to make packing lists or to help plan where I would go. I was leaving for a year and I was worried. But you reassured me and said that we would text and FaceTime whenever we could. But something happened 4 months before I left. You stopped texting me, or bailed on plans that we had made weeks prior, telling me that you were too busy or that you just felt like being along. I had that rock in the pit of my stomach telling me that this wasn’t true. And then I saw your Snapchat story of you out with friends for dinner and I could help but panic. The years of insecurities coming up and choking me because you had PROMISED that you would tell me but that was now a lie.

3 months you ignored me. 3 months. I was a month away from traveling around the world for a year before you reached out and told me you wanted to talk. We met up for coffee and you explained with tears in your eyes that you had been depressed, wanted to hang out with your coworkers who wouldn’t see that you were faking being happy because they didn’t know you as well as I did. And I believed you, because I had been there too, I had been in that hole. But I said I wanted to take things slow because I couldn’t trust you, I couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t bail again. You agreed and were my sister once again.

One month later I left but this time you made sure that I knew that you were with me. We texted and chatted whenever I found wifi for the first 7 months. One video chat, I made a careless comment though, something that as soon as I said it, I knew I had fucked up. We all have insecurities and I had accidentally plucked at one of yours. I apologized immediately but I knew that you were still stinging by how quiet you had gotten. We signed off but I felt sick with guilt. I hadn’t even meant it in a derogatory way, but I knew that that was how you had taken it. I texted you an hour later, apologizing again and again, reminding you of how proud I was of your progress, that I was more frustrated with myself when I had said it. You were graceful and kind and accepted my apology, though admitted that it had hurt you. I knew and I told you as much. And we moved on...or so I thought.

For the last 3 months of my trip, you ignored me again. I’m really starting to hate the number 3 at this point. One word replies to long messages or ignoring FaceTimes calls. Eventually I called you on it. We needed to talk. You told me that you were still hurt from my comment months earlier, that you couldn’t open yourself up to trust me because I might make another shitty comment. I agreed...initially. But then I thought about it, I thought about the inadequacy of the punishment. You ignored me for 3 months with systematic ease before deciding to aplogize, for which I forgave you within weeks. I make a poor, yet offhanded comment more directed at myself than you and you ignore me for 3 months again. I’m angry now, regardless of how people react to different things. You promised me to talk to me about things just like this and I can now see that you’ve lied. We agree to talk and meet when I get back in a few weeks.

I get back at Christmas. You don’t want to meet me until February. I tell you that I want to meet for coffee so it doesn’t take as long as lunch like you had suggested, because if this is the conversation that ends our friendship, I want to be able to leave quickly afterwards. You get upset, I can tell through your text message and at this point, I’m too tired to care. We meet and it’s awkward from the beginning, awkward pauses where before there would have been hardly time to breathe we were talking so fast. I finally explain my hurt, the pain that you’ve caused me. That fact that at this point in our friendship, you have done the one thing I had asked you not to do. You tell me that it’s a regular problem with your other friendships but it’s something you’re working on, something you’ll try harder at. I’m angry, and a little desperate so I lay down my terms: you need to intiate conversations, you need to organize hang out days, you need to make an effort. You agree and make the proposal that in 3 months, we’ll revisit our friendship and see where to go from there...

It’s been 2 months, and you haven’t texted me once.

I’m done. I thought about just letting you off the hook and letting you drift away like the others but writing this, I think not. You need to be held responsible for how you treat people, and the promises that you made to them. I will not let you ghost away from this. You haven’t told me that the problem was with me so I’m going to assume that it’s with you - or that’s what I’m telling myself.

Fuck you Tina. Because of you, I know I will never call anyone my best friend again. Everyone will just be friends. I will not picture my wedding with specific people in mind as my bridesmaids like I did for you. I will not put months of work into gifts to make them just right. Fuck you Tina, because I did all of those things for you, and you don’t even have the decency to tell me our friendship is over. I’m calling you tomorrow and if you don’t pick up, I’m leaving a voicemail because you need to hear that there are scars that you leave on people when you decide that they’re not worth the effort to even be a decent human being. You have destroyed every positive thought I’ve built up over the months about myself and you deserve to see the wreckage. Congratulations.

[donotgogentlyintothatgoodnight]

Stranger Places (A stranger things tale) Chapter nine: Valentine’s Day Part 1

Description: Everything changes when Dustin finds his mother’s lifeless body, but he is quickly reminded that he still has family when his older sister comes home. Though she is not the company he wants, can he learn to live with her? Can she readjust to life in Hawkins?

The rest of the weekend flew by. Dustin and the group ended up spending most of their time at the henderson, which to his surprise, wasn’t as awful as he thought it would be. Jackie kept her distance with the party, and kept the questions about his personal life to a minimum. Every so often, she’d offer to make him something to eat and he’d be reminded what a talented cook his sister was; she knew how to experiment with flavors. In short, Dustin wasn’t completely comfortable with his sister but he was starting to work his way there. 

Monday, everybody talked about who they were giving valentines to and who they would recieve one from. There was so much goo goo babble going around about love that by the time Tuesday greeted the earth with it’s sunrise, all of hawkins was covered in pink and red hearts with a rose in every hand. Dustin walked pass the pre-pubescent couples and straight to his locker. He entered his combination like any other day. 32, 14, 26. *click!* Dustin opens up his locker to find a card fall to his feet. He bends over to pick up the envelope covered in flower and heart stickers. Dustin rolls his eyes, thinking someone is playing a practical joke on him and shoves the card in his back pack, grabbing his books from his locker and headed towards class.

“You guys are hilarious,” Dustin tells the crew, as he waves the card in front of their faces.

“Ooooh!” Lucas teased. “Dustin got a valentine!”

“Yeah, you guys don’t count,” he mumbled.

“What are you talking about?” Will asked. “We didn’t do that.”

A confused look made itself present on Dustin’s face. “Who gave me the card then?”

The party shrugged. “Open it up and see.”

Lucas handed the card back to Dustin, who ripped the envelope open to reveal a card with a cartoon banana winking. “I find you very a-peeling,” Dustin read. “Why would a banana be winking if his skin was being peeled?”

“Dustin,” Mike said. “Open the card.”

Dustin sighed as he opened it to read it. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bet I’m better at Dragon’s Lair than you.”

“I know who it is!” Mike said with the sudden realization, grabbing the card from Dustin. “It’s Kimmy! It’s gotta be.”

“Who’s Kimmy?” Lucas asked.

“This girl that was talking to Dustin at the arcade.”

“Can we really say she was talking to me?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “More like making weird remarks and walking away. Besides, how can we be sure it’s her and not just some jerk?”

Will leaned over to look at the card as well. “You could go meet her at the arcade. She wants to dual you today at 7:30.”

Dustin grabbed the card back from the boys and read it over again. The handwriting was too neat and bubbly to be a boy or a boy trying to write like a girl. What if it was Kimmy? The whole scenario gave Dustin a bellyache. Or was it the pack of graham crackers he had for breakfast?

The class was silent, with the only audible sound being of the hands on the clock ticking and pencils scribbling down answers. Jacqueline was halfway through the next chapter in the class’s physics book while the other students took a test on the previous chapter. Jacqueline genuinely enjoyed learning about science, she felt it brought some logic to her crazy world. She found it fascinating how everything in the world followed a certain waves in different frequencies and how these waves made up-

“How is she already finished?” Jackie’s ears perked up when she heard a classmate whisper.

“Leave it to orphan Annie to be an over-achiever.” The tip of Jacqueline’s pencil broke from her pressing too hard into her notebook. She hated that nickname. Lucky for her, Mr. Sidman cleared his throat to signal the class to finish their tests in peace. The bell rang 15 minutes after, and as Jacqueline walked pass the teacher’s desk, he handed her test back with a big red 100 on the front. 

“No way,” Nancy said, snatching the test from Jackie’s grip. “I study all the time and never get higher than a 96 on his tests. How’d you get a 100 on your first one?”

Jackie shrugged. “I just really like physics.”

Nancy laughed. “I guess that helps. See you at lunch?” She asked, giving Jackie a soft squeeze on her arm.

“Yeah,” she answered with a smile. “See you then.”

The girls went their seperate ways, Jackie headed towards her locker. She opened it up to quickly switch out her physics text book for her calculus. When she closed the door, she was greeted with a hand holding up a box of valentine’s day heart candies. She laughed.

“How thoughtful, You bought me chalk flavored candy. What happened to flowers?”

Billy handed her the box of candy as he flashed a smile and ran a hand through his hair. “The florists was fresh out of daisies, so I figured something sweet would suffice.”

“Well, its the thought that counts I suppose,” she said as she stuffed the small box into the side pocket of her bag. 

“So what time should I pick you up?” The question gave Jackie chills. She had been dreading this date since she agreed to it, even more so since she had spoken to Max about it. 

“How’s seven?” he asked when she didn’t reply. “I can come over and meet pops.”

“I actually don’t live with my dad. It’s just me,” She said softly, hoping that it was loud enough just for him to hear.

“Oh,” Billy said surprised. “Okay. Well, is seven still okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” She said absent mindedly. Billy raised a brow at her. Was she always this ditsy? Is this what they meant when they said she was weird? 

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

She turned to face him. “Why do you want to go on this date with me?”

Billy laughed nervously.

“Just you don’t know me and if you did, I don’t think you’d be asking me out. So what is it that is making you want to go out with me.”

Billy felt his jaw tense up. What could he do? “I think you’re really cute. And I thought maybe we could have a good time together.” He wasn’t lying, he just wasn’t telling the full truth, like the fact he may get hundred dollars if she sleeps with him.

She tousled her hair to this side and looked down at her feet. Billy sighed. “Listen, I get it if you don’t want to go out. I just really thought we would have fun. But if you’re not about it, I won’t make you go.”

Jackie brought her eyes to level with his. His expression was soft and sincere. How could this be the face of a monster?

“No, I want to go,” She told him. “I just. It’s been weird adjusting back to Hawkins life. Everybody stares at me like I’m the loch ness monster, so I just automatically assumed you were doing it for kicks. I’m sorry.”

His heart raced but he smiled at her without flinching. “It’s all good darling. So, I’ll pick you up at seven?”

She smiled back at him. “Sharp,” She added, as she walked to her next class.

“Roses are red, Violets are blue. Bet I’m better at Dragon’s lair than you. Meet me at the arcade so that I can parade when I kick your butt and show you who’s the best at what. 7:30; be there or be square.” Steve closed the card and handed it back to Dustin. “So are you going?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.”

Steve sighed. “I mean, worse case scenario, it’s a prank and you just go home and hang out with me.”

“Sounds depressing,” Dustin mumbled. Steve thumped Dustin’s head for the remark.

“Or you go and she’s there and have a really good time with a girl that likes you,” Steve finished.

Dustin sighed. “Can you drop me off there?”

“I don’t know. I may not be able to fit you into my depressing night of staying at home,” Steve replied.

“I’m sorry,” Dustin aplogized. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah you did,” he told him. “But whatever. Yeah I’ll take you.”

Mike sat patiently as he waited for Hopper to return to the police department. He looked around at the office. There was only one other person there as she typed vigorously away at her computer. The door opened and Hopper walked through.

The lady looked up from her screen. “Jim, this young man has been waiting to speak to you.”

Hopper looked over to his side to find Mike sitting there with a card and a box of chocolate on his lap. He chuckled. “Those aren’t for me, are they?” he asked.

Mike was taken back by the question. 

“I’m kidding. Come on, Wheeler. To my office.”

Mike got up from his seat and followed behind Hopper. Mike closed the door behind them.

“So what should I tell Jane when I give these to her.”

Mike shrugged. “I dont know. I wanted to get her something, but does she understand what valentine’s day is?”

Hopper sighed. “After watching T.V specials all day, I’m sure she will.”

“Then just tell her, Mike says Happy Valentine’s day. And I miss her.”

Hopper nodded, as he placed the chocolates and card in his bag.

“Can she come out this weekend?” Mike asked. Jim looked up at the boy, his expression pleading and hopeful.

“I can’t let her.”

Mike scrunched up his face. “But you let her out last saturday.”

“That’s because I trust Jacqueline to be a responsible adult.”

“But you don’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust the world around you two,” Hopper corrected. Mike sighed as his eyes hung low in defeat. Hopper felt for both of them. He knew that Mike connected with El better than anyone else and that El was dying to have human contact other than him. “How about you come over? We can go to the lake by the cabin and spend the day there.”

Mike’s face lit up. “Really?”

Jim nodded as he reached for his pack of cigarettes. “How’s sunday?”

Mike was ecstatic to hear this. “Yes! that’s perfect! Thanks Hopper!”

“Uh huh,” Hopper said lighting the end of his cigarette.

“I’ll see you sunday!” Mike said as he opened the door, skipping out of his office.

“Close the doo- ugh,” Hopper said sitting from his desk. He leaned over it to see who else was in the office. “Hey Murray! Can you close my door for me?”

“Exercise is good for you, Jim,” She hollared back at him.

oh shit! what’s gonna happen next?! I mean I guess its pretty obvious. Anyway, let me know what you think. I’m delirious and haven’t had a day off in two months woooooot! but i get one next tuesday so its okay. Why am i telling you this?

@10blurredsmoke10

[femaleidols]

im curious on the admins opinions on the whole mamamoo blackface situation... im really having a hard time bc mamamoo was one of my ult groups but it's been so hard for me to move past that as a black woman and it hurts bc i can feel myself not having the joy i had before for this comeback :( im just curious about how the admins felt and how they worked past it

see our honest opinions below the cut!

sullflower: To be honest, I can’t say much about their scandal because I didn’t follow it nor am I a Moomoo. But you have every right to be disappointed. It’s totally okay if you don’t feel like enjoying them anymore, really. I know I wasn’t much help, but I hope you’ll find a way you’re comfortable with.

iyokans: (hiatus)

heonies: I don’t want to share any opinion on the matter since I don’t really follow mamamoo and only recently heard of the events. It is incredibly disappointing though, and you have every right to be upset. All I can say is, if something hurts you, don’t invest your time and effort into it. You do you, and don’t feel bad about it.

jiaerrs: dude i totally get it if you’re having a hard time. one of my ubs fucked up in a similar way last week and blatantly ignored black fans who were sending him messages to educate him. while i can’t understand how painful it is firsthand as an asian woman, i understand completely if you’re feeling conflicted/upset/etc. over what mamamoo did. ngl, i was very disappointed when i saw them do blackface again after i was starting to get over their last incident. even with rbw stepping up and issuing apologies for multiple instances, it doesn’t seem genuine because it keeps happening. seeing the amount of people justifying it because bruno mars wasn’t black and bringing up sexist double standards to absolve the girls from their fuckups is a headache to deal with. whatever you feel is totally valid, and it’s fine if you’re not excited or maybe you are. i just hope no one gives you a hard time for doing either or!

katypery: i don’t know the details on how this scandal unfolded since i haven’t been following it but when i heard it i was extremely disappointed with them. i’m not a moomoo myself so i don’t follow their activities but i do hope they learn from their mistakes regardless. i believe you have the right to be hurt since this situation affected you directly and probably most of their black fans as well so it’s totally understandable if you don’t feel like enjoying this comeback! i personally don’t see anything wrong with you feeling that way so don’t go hard on yourself and support them only if you feel comfortable.

sunjis: first of all, i’m not black. honestly when a situation like this happens i don’t even get surprised anymore, which is sad, i always expect the worst to happen sooner or later but when it does i still get disappointed. regardless of being an idol i like, my relatives, someone from work/school, i just hope the person learns from their mistakes and keep an open mind when they hear critics. i got really surprised by rbw apology, but what saddened me the most were some fans reactions, defending them and therefore proving themselves of being completely ignorant. if what happened made you sad and you don’t feel excited anymore, it’s fine, really. it’s not worthy giving more chances to something that makes you feel bad and it’s not your or any fans obligation to educate them, sometimes we just have to get away and do what is the best for ourselves.

lauxrent:I think that generally when you fave fucks up you need to understand that if you can’t move on past what they did it’s perfectly fine and you don’t have to overcome it? Like if they don’t bring you joy anymore you shouldn’t force yourself into it. Maybe it will pass with time maybe it won’t. I know that it must be sad and disappointing when your fave group fucks up and looses its magic for you because of that, but if it really bothers you shouldn’t feel obliged to accept it. I know that there is a certain pressure in kpop fandom to accept idols’ mistakes and that some fandoms are really nasty to people that can’t forgive their faves but this fandom culture is toxic and you primarily should focus on what makes you happy. Myself I was never really a fan of mamamoo and I won’t become one now.

sooyulti:it’s really disappointing and there’s no excuse for racism, all this bullshit that fans say when trying to explain it like “their culture is different”, i believe it makes the situation even worse… and i know they apologized but it’s hard to accept it, especially when they have a big international fanbase, they should’ve educated themselves by searching through internet, i’m sure they have access to it. anyways, idk how i could help you to move past that bc i’m still very disappointed and i can’t move past that either, i just hope the girls will learn from this and won’t make the same mistake again.

wonhosoks: i was pretty surprised that they did that tbh but im not into them like as a “fan” so my only opinion probably it was disappointing coming from them? idk but i totally get that you would feel hurt cus they are ur ult group too :(  im so sorry I dont think i helped much at all :(

24kool: i’d rather not share my opinion on it, however i do hope you manage to find the right solution for you 💜

1krystaljung:when mamamoo first did it i was rly dissapointed and upset of course… but then they apologized so soon after which was really surprising and i wanted to forgive them & believe they had really learned from their mistakes. like i don’t think i’ve seen many idols apologize when they’re in situations like this, so i thought it was great they were aplogizing and i believed it to be genuine and that they were really gonna grow and learn from it! but then… they jst went and did blackface again so shortly after lmao… like i really thought they had learned and listened to what people had to say but i guess the apology was just to save face and wasn’t really genuine at all lol?? so the whole thing is really upsetting to me and i lost a lot of respect for them, especially now that they’re caught up in the controversy of them wearing bindis… like……. do they not learn??? it feels like they don’t really care like at all lmao. aaaand that’s my opinion on that. sorry, but i don’t really have much to say on “working past it” because i was never really a mamamoo stan, i just listen to some songs here and there. if you decide to work past it, good luck, i know it can be kind of hard to work past something like that, especially since it wasn’t just a one time thing :/ and if you decide to drop them that’s totally understandable and i wouldn’t blame you

seuhgi:that was disappointing for sure.

prkchaeyoung: i was never really a mamamoo fan, but what mamamoo did was extremely ignorant and it hurt a lot of people. if you believe that letting go of them is the best thing for you, then go for it!

yoonbomis: i’m sorry that the situation has made u feel this way :( the situation did make me upset and quite shocked?? (since i’m not a big fan of mmm, i didn’t really expect it) and i’m glad that fans’ rightfully upset/offended/perhaps betrayed? feelings to it was able to get a least, an apologetic response out of mamamoo and their agency (if i remember right, they said things along the lines that they were going to aim to educate themselves on it?) but it is still something that is constantly in my thoughts whenever i think of or see mamamoo, so it did hinder my opinion of them. however, i still listen to their music, although not with the same enthusiasm as before. i’m sorry if i’m not too much help or comfort ;; (also because i am not a black woman) but i hope u are able to find a way to ease ur pain in a way that makes u comfortable and happy ^^

monoka: as a nonfan & someone who was never interested in them i have to say i avoid them as much as possible, because i got tired of their problematic antics. They have done so many things multiple times and still NOT learn. Their ignorance is amazing.

seulge: what bothers me the most is that mamamoo fans are quick to pretend that these girls did absolutely nothing wrong - or most of them at least. i will never forget seeing on twitter this one moomoo who was giving out false translations to protect mamamoo’s reputation or some bs. i do not like mamamoo as people anymore, and the fandom is equally toxic imo, so i stepped away a long time ago. i might check out the mv when it’s out and if the song is good, so be it. i’ll listen to it if it’s catchy.

[bluefacecowboy-blog]

Weekly Update

Right, hi tumblr people (so Debbie and maybe Chelsea and really bored people scrolling through tumblr) hi to all!

Fun fun week! I really don’t have photos but who knows some might show up if I search twitter and I don’t know if I will yet!

Right so this week started bright and early and featured two big big events. The first: Bike to work celebration.

This was Monday Morning starting at 6:30 and since I forgot to make it start on my calendar at 6:15 I sorta arrived ten minutes late. Ugh I forgot to ground the reader right. Right so National Bike to Work Day is a day where all of the Trans Alt Staff gives out free breakfast along popular commuting corridors.

(For the reccord, in 97.87% of the time, I’m a big fan of editing just not in journaling because journaling seems a way to be free and just reccord or recount what’s going through your mind and yeah I know tumblr maybe isn’t the best place to go even on mimi rants like this but it is 1:45am and I’m playing great music.) By the time I finished this it was almost 3am. Good thing I get Monday’s off.

Right I was explicity told to be very topical so that should be the last of that, it’s just I really hate feeling constrained in journaling so back to topicalness) As well as giving out breakfast the day is also the day where T.A gets the most new members so that really was the focus going in and I have a wierd thing where I can sell things that I don’t believe in so much easily than things that I believe in because I have to think about the selling points. It definitely took me a minute (or the whole time) to get comfy selling membership because I know how great it is and I kinda assumed everybody else did. It was kinda crazy windy out and being right alongside the Hudson certainly added to things. It was a fun day though, roping people in with free breakfast and then asking them if they would be interested in signing a petition which I felt comfy with.

Rant about honesty below (in all likely just an idioscracy of mine)

(I will be very honest about everything probably too honest but I’m not supposed to be shit, like I have no problem saying mistruths in person but writing is so much more perinement and it is what lasts and I want to be honest because the exact words of a conversation even in the very best ones are just fading details but when you can scrutinze every word I find it so much more important to be honest, because whatever I did, I did and I own it, even if I’m not proud of it. Okay see this is how I can get side tracked for real, though if you are a future employer reading this then hello! Hope you are well whatever concerns you have about me in this reading have hopefully been worked on, okay for real back to it)

Rant over

It felt so much comfortable then selling membership after luring people with free breakfast (I hope this is topical and not too much) to try to get them to open their wallet, though I completely understand why we were all supposed to. A petition felt like a fair trade because then there is still good will and ease. Also it was too cold for ice coffee, if we had Friday’s wheather on Monday double the amount of people would have stopped. It was fun and very odd being finished with things before I generally wake up. (bold generally means the future, like there is no way I’m up before 10:30)

I had Tuesday off, so everything there is truly untopical.

Wednesday, that was site visit day and truthfully I was definitely at least vaguely nervous because I never had a formal realationship with Debbie and it was definitely more than a touch off balencing to see Debbie standing outside when my head was still in the books I was reading on the subway. Generally the time in the elevator is the time I need to ground myself in what is ahead but I didn’t have that so if I seemed a touch cold, I aplogize Debbie. The meeting went great, I really do enjoy the work I do at TransAlt (my head is just in the album playing now (25 annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert)) and my supervisor Chelsea is such a great boss. The enviroment (at TransAlt) is great because it really is a great match. Like there are people who are all working on politics but also on bikes and also on pedestrian plazas and making the streets more joyous (shit I’ve been at this half and hour and I still have the next two days) The meeting went very well after I got over the inital in my headness and was present in the meeting. The rest of the day was spent working on Buisness Outreach things or the rest of the day at the office was.

Fuck after I left the day was properly crazy! From the most boring of ceremonies (kinda like the first ten minutes of a Deblassio speech but for three hours) to immediately after having great conversations, looking forward to a double episode of Survivor, to on the whim of a moment joining a group of two incredibly interesting and brilliant strangers and a close friend of my father to suddenly entering this art studio looking for Five Five Freedie to entering a park I never knew existed (148 and Riverside, check this stuff out!) to five hours later lying on the bust of Houdini for a half hour nap.

OVER

Just know I was kinda wrecked and hungry for more adventure going into Thursday. This was my first day of outreach with my boss Chelsea and just going over the ropes of how to petition on the streets. Similarily to a lot of other things you just need to get into a grove and stay the hell out of your head and just ask people “Hey would you like wider sidewalks or summer streets” and then asking the same person to sign the petition. It was great fun to get to use signs I created and see the process through, after petitioning for two and half hours we called it quits and I felt really good about engaging passerbys.

There was a meeting afterward for Manhattan T.A volunteers and while the meeting was definitely productive I was in the complete wrong headspace and probably fairly exhausted ( I went to bed late the night before)

The next day was Bike Home From Work Party in the DUMBO Triangle. It was a real party with a D.J and fosball and food and a bunch of sponsors and free food. I was tasked with floating shift which means to help where needed and float throughout. There was only one person at the membership tent so I joined her there (The person was Kelsey and we really get along great and she is super easy to get along with) and we started pulling people in. I quickly found the best pitch was to call out asking someone if they were a TransAlt member and if they said no I quickly found the best to engage them was to inform them of the free beers for members, that got people listening so quickly it was great and I feel like as many if not the majority of non-members who I was able to engage with became members. If people said yes I would inform them of the free beer and make jovial conversation. There was a free t-shirt (exclusive to the week) so with the free beer and the men’s wearhouse coupon the membership paid for itself when people became members. (The following is half selling membership, 100% honest) Really becoming a member is a great deal, because for fifty dollars a year, or ten a month if you prefer, you get discounts at over a hundred thirty stores throughout the city and you support TransAlt’s lifesaving work! It was great fun working with Kelsey and later Libbey and the party was a great atmosphere and there was a competition to win a Free Brompton Bike, the person who could put out at the highest maxium wattage on a trainer would win a bike. I had the lead throughout the night but each time I checked I would see the person before me edge me out, literally every time! So I go to check in to see if I’m still in the lead. The person warming his legs is a mountain bike racer, so is friend who would go immediately after him. He goes and gives absolutely everything and ended up beating my wattage by 20 watts and I’m thinking alright with Daft Punk Playing I can probably beat that. His friend (person 1’s friend) goes up and blows person 1’s wattage up by fifty watts. Daft Punk is still playing. I have beaten person 2’s wattage a couple of times throughout my 18 years on my bike which is a sweet toy and fits me exactly to the millimeter. I start spinning. Another TransAlt emlpoyee is besides me. The time starts and I start giving it everything but my power was only slowly trudging upwards. I scream and give it one last primal effort. My wattage jumps surpassing person 1’s wattage. I keep digging and I can see person 2’s wattage slowly getting closer. 25. 23. 24. 17. 16. 15. Then I pop. Okay whatever bad story. The night was great! The director of membership was please with me and gave me this amazing pin that says

  “OFFFICAL MEMBER”

All Powerful Bike Lobby

Yeah the party was great fun, so much fun to see so many TransAlt members and people having fun with bikes. Yeah I’m sure this is like 10 times more reading then I should have made it. Mistakes were made. Have a great week! After reading it, this feels relatively constrained by my standards. There was also Staff Pizza which was very nice and just great conversation’s throughout the night, alright it is 3:01 I’m gonna hope this is alright in some way. Bye all!