#acknowledged what they were trying to make her aware of and apologized

[leezuhh]

what was that post about how people are getting afraid to ask stuff especially to popular bloggers because all of that person's followers will dogpile on them for something mostly innocuous,,,,

[hs-is-loml]

Another Pawn in Your Game. (c.s)

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Fem!Capitol!Reader

Summary: you felt betrayed by coriolanus and lucy gray's act in the capitol zoo. or coriolanus coaxes you into thinking what he did was okay.

Warnings: minor felix ravinstill x reader (one-sided). angst. manipulative snow who knows all the right words to say. they stay together in the end. UNEDITED

a/n: if you have seen my post about coriolanus before reading this, my stand does not change. and i am not trying to justify anything. that being said i do find him an interesting character to write for with his complexity!

masterlist

You couldn’t believe your eyes from the act that Coriolanus and Lucy Gray were pulling in front of Lucky Flickerman. Introducing her. Holding hands with a district. You felt eyes of pity land on you from around the table as you were with Arachne, Felix, and Clemensia.

“Did you know that he was going to do that?” Arachne hounded on you.

Clemensia added, “Is that not cheating?” 

“I wish I knew,” you scoffed, continuing to look at the screen of Coriolanus staring at Lucy Gray with ​​narrowed eyes. “He didn’t tell me anything.” 

“Maybe it’s time you realize you can do better than Snow,” Felix grinned while you all watched as the peacekeepers dragged away Coriolanus. “Always more options around…”

“Felix, I would love for you to say that to his face,” Clemensia snickered at his poor attempt at flirting.

“Oh, please. No one would ever dare,” Arachne rolled her eyes at the two and began to get up as the bell rang. 

You walked alongside the group with Felix on your side. You felt him place a hand on your back and leaned in to whisper in your ear, “Let me know when you get tired of him, will you?”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Y/n!” Sejanus called your name from behind the group, walking quickly to catch your arm before you walked through the doors while everyone headed in. “What was that with Felix?”

He held a concerned expression, and the grip on your upper arm began to tingle. “Sejanus,” you tried to move your arm and he finally took notice, dropping his hand and muttering apologies.

“I didn’t mean to grab you that hard. I’m sorry.”

Taking a deep breath in you explained to him, “Coryo wants to make a fool out of me. You saw what he did in the cage. Felix is simply taking his chance.”

After Doctor Gaul had left the room, you neglected Coriolanus’ attempts to have a word with you, and you continued to keep a conversation with Sejanus. You felt the irritation that radiated off his body when he noticed that you were purposely ignoring him.

“He looks like he is going to murder me if I keep talking to you, Y/n,” Sejanus quietly pointed out as he looked back and forth from you to Coriolanus. 

“He’s lucky if I don’t murder him for what he pulled,” the blank expression that was written across your face mildly scared Sejanus not knowing how you truly felt. 

“At least acknowledge him or something, Y/n,” he pushed.

“And why should I?”

“Because, because this is unlike you and Coryo,” he tried to explain but failed to give any valid reasoning to you.

You turned to your other side and looked at him with darting eyes, “Hello, Coriolanus,” you articulated the entirety of his name. It felt foreign on your tongue. 

He met you with perplexion at your sudden coldness, “Y/n/n. Dearest. What is the matter with you?” He knew that he had said or done something wrong as you gathered your things and went to Dean Highbottom to be excused. 

“How was your little songbird, Coriolanus?” Arachne teased and was aware you could still hear them before you walked out of the room. Livia continued, “Fragile, little thing she is. I do hope her death is rather quick.”

“She’s okay.”

“Did everyone hear that?” Arachne looked around the room to those who were interested in where she was taking this. “Coryo made sure his songbird is okay.”

 Coriolanus had no time for games as his mind wandered back to you, “Arachne. What is the point of all of this?” he snapped at her.

A smirk planted visibly across her face, “Is your Dearest okay, though?” she mocked him.

The realization was evident as it spread to his face. He looked over to Sejanus who avoided his stare by pretending he was focused on his paper instead. 

“Felix, you know he has no shame in going after you once he sees this,” you mentioned knowing the rather possessive tendencies that Coriolanus had to the boy who followed you out. 

Felix hid his nervousness with a chuckle, “What could he do? I’m the president’s son.”

“I’m just warning you,” you went through your bag to look for the rose Coriolanus had given to you this morning. 

“Y/n. You don’t deserve what he did to you,” he tried to reach out for your hand but you had pulled away before he had gotten the chance to. 

Having found the rose, you glanced around for a trash bin to toss it in, “Oh, believe me. I know.”

“Isn’t that one of the roses that Lucy Gray had in her hair earlier when we saw her on the screen?” Felix observed the rose in your hand and noticed it was the same pure white as the one that was in Lucy Gray’s hair. “Is that from him?” he made the connection with the frown you held.

“Yes.” 

He bellowed another laugh as he realized the Coriolanus was found in even more mistakes. “That bastard.”

Coriolanus was searching for you throughout the academy grounds once the bell had rung. He found no luck in finding you until he passed a hallway he had never seen you go into before, and there you were standing by a pillar with Felix Ravinstill standing too closely for Coriolanus’ comfort. Though he could tell that you had not reciprocated Felix’s intentions, it didn’t help the rising jealousy that was consuming his mind. 

For a moment, his vision was red as he saw Felix take his Grandma' am’s rose out of your hands. It had taken everything in him to not launch himself at Felix as he didn’t want to be convicted of murder before the Games even started. He was already in too far. 

Your head turned as you heard a call of your name from Coriolanus, “Y/n.” Through the tone of his voice, you knew he was not asking for you but rather commanding.

Before you started to make your way to him, Felix caught your hand and pulled you back for a moment whispering in your ear while making direct eye contact with Coriolanus, “Make him pay for it, yeah? And don’t forget my offer will always stand for you.” Coriolanus stood there with a tense jaw and flared nostrils as he watched.

Felix smirked at him, seeing you walk towards his direction but going pass him, “Come along, Coriolanus.” 

The silence was starting to get to the both of you as neither of you chose to speak a word before arriving in front of your house. Your parents rarely being home helped your situation because you figured that an argument was going to begin right as the door was closed behind you. 

That’s how it always was. The picture perfect couple in the public eye to keep appearances up than a cracked frame when it was just the two of you. 

“What was that about, Y/n?” he fumed the second the door was shut. You ignored him as you went to put your bag away in your room. “You cannot keep avoiding me here. And don’t think I am going to let go of what you did today.”

“What I did?” you talked baffled.

“You are making a joke out of us-”

“Is it fun for you?” you interrupted him, finally meeting his burning stare.

“Is what fun?” he gritted his teeth at the lack of specificity in your question.

You began to laugh maniacally and spat out, “Making a fool out of me. You already made me a laughing stock for everyone to see.”

 “Is this about-” he started but you didn’t give him a chance to finish.

“Of course, this is about her, Coriolanus!” you proclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you hold her hand? And for goodness sake, a district girl from 12 of all people! You are the one ruining us.”

“She is my tribute,” he defended.

“YOU GAVE HER A ROSE!” you yelled at him in frustration. “How do you not see a problem with that?”

“The rose is nothing compared to what you let Felix do today,” he said, enraged, taking steps closer to you, but your hand met his chest, keeping him at arm's length. “You are mine. Not his.”

“And what? She is also yours now too?” you closed your eyes as they welled with tears that you had tried to blink away. 

He moved your hand and grasped it as he stood in front of you. He cupped your cheek with his other hand and softened his tone, “She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“And how am I supposed to trust your word?” you threw at him and saw a look of hurt flash on his face but it had left just as quick. “Everyone told me it was a mistake to be with you.”

“Do you believe it was?” he blanked, tightening his hold on your hand. 

“I do not know what to believe anymore.”

“It was an act. A farce. She needs to win,” he stroked your cheek with his thumb. “I need to win.”

Your body was tense with vexation and you spoke through clenched teeth, “Am I just another pawn in your game as well? The easiest one you can sacrifice?” It felt like your heart was ready to burst from out of your ribcage waiting for his answer. 

He brushed a piece of fallen hair away from your face and uttered, “No, you are My Queen.”

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [18] - Boundaries

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Family dinner can get tense.

Word Count: 2500

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

“Charm, how long are you going to keep this silent treatment going?” Bucky’s voice reached you and you kept your focus on Alpine, holding the toy as she smacked it with her paw. “I mean you were the one who went and met up with your ex—”

“A friendly lunch!” you said, lifting your gaze from Alpine to see him leaning against the door of his changing room, his arms crossed. Your heart skipped a beat but you pursed your lips, painfully aware of the petulant expression on your face.

“Does he know it was friendly?”

“What do you want me to do Bucky, make him sign a paper to acknowledge it?” you asked back and he rolled his eyes.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said. “Why did you two break up?”

You frowned. “What?”

“I mean I know how good you are at holding grudges, so being friends with an ex doesn’t sound like you, to be honest.”

You shrugged your shoulders.

“Maybe he didn’t give me any reason to hold a grudge,” you said. “No wonder you wouldn’t get it.”

He gawked at you before running a hand over his face.

“I apologized like one thousand times—”

“You sent me a text couple of months later that said ‘you’re not still angry, are you’?” you corrected him. “Do you even know what an apology means?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh you do know,” you said. “I stand corrected.”

“No I mean, I’m sorry for that night.”

“Not accepted,” you deadpanned, scratching at Alpine’s head as she got bored of the feather and plopped down on the soft sheets. Bucky took a deep breath.

“Why did you break up?”

You lifted your head to roll your eyes at him. “Why is it important?”

“It’s important to me,” he said as he walked back into his dressing room, then came back with a pair of cufflinks. “Especially if he broke your heart.”

The idea of Bucky being angry at someone for breaking your heart was so absurd when he was the one who tore your heart out in the first place, but you chose not to comment on it.

“We just weren’t a good fit,” you said. “We were both idiots, to be honest.”

“You had him checked though?” Bucky asked, still busy with putting his cufflinks on and you shot him a glare.

“No Bucky, that was my first rodeo,” you deadpanned. “I just date civilians without making sure they can be trusted.”

 “And now?”

“I had him checked when he moved into the city and first made contact with me,” you said. “He still can be trusted.”

“That’s where we disagree, Charm.”

“Have you trusted anyone in your life, Bucky?” you asked, exasperated. “Except Steve and Sam, that is.”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“I trust you,” he pointed out, making your heart skip a beat and you stared at him for a couple of seconds, then forced out a scoff.

“Yet here you are, questioning me about that lunch and him in general?”

“That has more to do with him than you, you know that,” he replied and you leaned back on the pillows, Alpine jumping to curl up in your lap.

“Either way,” you muttered and stole a look at him as he got into his jacket. “We have dinner at 8 tonight with your mom and dad, don’t forget.”

Bucky threw his head back with a groan. “I still think we should skip that.”

“It’s the second time Winnifred asked,” you reminded him. “We’re going.”

“Fun,” he grumbled as he came closer to scratch at Alpine’s head, then pressed a kiss on top of your hair, making you bite back a smile. “I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Mm hm, try not to kill anyone until then.”

“I’ll try,” he said and walked out of the bedroom, making you heave a sigh as you looked down at Alpine who was purring.

“Dinner with George and Winnifred,” you muttered. “Yeah. Should be fun.”

                                                  *

It wasn’t that having dinner with George and Winnifred was something new for you. You had spent your entire childhood with Becca, not to mention your families had been close since you two were little, so tonight was supposed to be just relaxing.

In theory, that was.

Yet, a mere minute after stepping a foot into the house you realized that would not be the case. Bucky had texted you saying he would be a couple minutes late, and while the food was about to be ready, George was still in his office.

“You know how they get with business,” Winnifred told you as you sat next to Becca on the couch. “I’ll just check the kitchen, excuse me.”

“No problem,” you said as she walked away and you turned to Becca. “Do you know what’s happening?”

“Apparently my father and your father had a very long phone call,” Becca said without lifting her gaze from her phone, texting who you could only assume was Leila. “I have no idea why Bucky is late, but I know for a fact that daddy won’t like that.”

You bit inside your cheek, crossing your arms.

“Great,” you muttered. “I’m guessing Ian keeps dripping poison in my dad’s ear and now George is getting affected as well.”

Becca let out a small laugh.

“It’s not like daddy can do anything,” she murmured. “Bucky took over already.”

“No but he can make things quite difficult.”

“Bucky is used to that,” Becca said and you turned sideways to look at her better.

“So you didn’t bring Leila?” you asked as if trying to tease her and she scoffed.

“Are you kidding?” she asked. “I don’t want them to scare her off.”

“Give her some credit, will you?” you asked. “That car chase didn’t exactly scare her off.”

“If it came down to choosing between a car chase and my parents, I’d say the car chase is much safer,” she told you, making you bite down a grin.

“I get what you mean,” you said as Winnifred walked back into the living room again.

“The food is ready,” she said. “Come on, to the dining room.”

Becca threw her arm over your shoulder as you both followed her to the dining room and you were just about to take your seats when George walked into the room as well.

“Aw my dearest girls,” he said, first kissing Becca’s cheek and then yours. “I missed you two!”

“Hi George.”

“Hi daddy!” Becca gave him a bright smile and Winnifred motioned at the table.

“Sit down, sit down!” she said. “The chef spent the whole day working on this, I hope you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will, I’m starving,” you said as you sat down and George looked around the room.

“And where’s Bucky?”

“He’s going to be a couple of minutes late,” you said. “He texted me just now.”

George stole a look at Winnifred, then shook his head.

“That boy needs to work on his time management skills,” he said, making you pull your brows together and Winnifred waved a hand in the air.

“He’s just busy with work,” she said. “It’s understandable.”

You shot them a smile.

“He’s just giving me the time to talk about him without him present,” you joked, making George chuckle.

“And how is married life, Y/N?”

“It’s wonderful,” you said airily. “I have nothing to complain, really. Which, you know how unlike me that sounds.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Winnifred said. “You and Bucky…You two were explosive around each other until very recently.”

“Thin line between love and hate,” Becca said with a grin before sipping her drink and Winnifred shook her head.

“Bucky never hated you Y/N, you know that.”

You made yourself busy with your food and took your fork to your mouth, nodding.

“I know,” you said after swallowing your bite. “We just had um…history, in a way.”

“And isn’t it wonderful how it worked out?” George said. “As I’ve told Bucky before—”

“Hi everyone,” Bucky’s voice cut him off as he walked into the room and came straight to kiss you on top of your head before taking his seat beside you. “Sorry I’m late, something came up.”

George heaved a sigh of displeasure as if he was trying to contain himself, and Bucky raised his brows at him but Winnifred cleared her throat.

“Oh not a problem sweetheart, we’ve just started.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said as a maid filled his glass and turned to Becca. “You didn’t bring Leila?”

“I asked the same thing,” you said with a small grin and Becca made a face.

“No thank you,” she said. “I’d rather it if you guys didn’t scare her off.”

“Well—”

“Perhaps it’s better that Becca is taking her time,” Winnifred said. “To make sure she can be trusted. She is a civilian after all.”

Bucky tried to hide his smirk as he sipped his drink.

“You haven’t even met the girl yet mom,” he reminded her. “It’s a bit early for you to not approve.”

“It’s not that I don’t approve!” Winnifred said. “It’s just…perhaps it’d be better if Becca were dating someone in business, that’s all I’m saying.”

You tried not to roll your eyes but Becca shot her a look, then turned to Bucky.

“See? Exactly why my girlfriend is not here.”

“Nah, I agree that it was the best idea for this time,” George said. “Considering tonight’s topic at least. Bucky, we need to talk.”

Bucky frowned slightly and you sat up straighter, your stomach doing an unpleasant flip.

“About what?” Bucky asked and George licked his lips.

“What is this I hear about you letting Y/N get involved in the business?” he asked. “Arthur called me, he’s worried out of his mind.”

“Nobody is ‘letting’ me do anything,” you said, trying your hardest to control the defensive tone in your voice. “If my father talked to you, you can just tell me, George.”

Bucky vibranium hand covered yours on the table and you felt a fluttering in your stomach before you turned your attention to George who shook his head.

“Y/N honey, I get that you want to be a part of it,” he said with the same condescending tone your father tended to adapt whenever he talked about you becoming a part of the business and Bucky’s jaw clenched as you narrowed your eyes. “But it’s not the best idea. Bucky agrees, I’m sure.”

“I don’t,” Bucky pointed out without missing a beat. “And watch your tone while you’re talking to my wife.”

The warmth spread over your cheeks. “It’s fine, Buck.”

“No it’s not.”

 Winnifred cleared her throat. “Perhaps we could talk about it later on.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to work,” Becca muttered, leaning back to sip her drink and George put his fork down.

“Bucky,” he said like a warning. “It’s wonderful that you two are happy and in love, don’t get me wrong. But when it comes to my business—”

“I think you mean my business,” Bucky deadpanned and a silence fell upon the table, nervousness filling your system. You rolled your shoulders back, trying to decide whether you should step in or not, but George beat you to it.

“I didn’t put you to the top just so that you can ruin the business, Bucky.”

Your eyes widened as your jaw dropped and Bucky let out a furious breath.

“You didn’t put me anywhere,” he said, his voice almost a growl. “I proved myself over and over.”

“Why don’t we all—”

“And where would you be without me?” George asked him and a furious breath left your lips.

“Alright, this is enough,” you said with a click of your tongue and stood up. “We’re leaving. Come on Buck.”

“Y/N—” Winnifred started as Bucky stood up, still holding your hand.

“See you later,” he told Becca and his mom, and you both walked out of the dining room and made your way through the foyer to step out of the house. He followed you to the car and you told the driver to drive you back to your place, then got in with Bucky.

Bucky didn’t speak a word all the way until you two got home, clearly lost in his own mind and you didn’t want to push him before he was ready. You picked up Alpine who rushed to greet you, then kissed her and put her down again. Bucky ran a hand over his face and flung himself on the couch in silence, biting inside his cheek while you filled two glasses of whiskey. You handed one to him and he took it, trying to offer you a small smile.

“Sorry about that,” he rasped out and you made a face.

“Your dad is an asshole, it has nothing to do with you,” you said. “It’s my therapist’s favorite topic to be honest with you, I could write a book about it.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah well…”

“Speaking of, we’re going to the couple’s therapy,” you told him, making his head snap up.

“What?” he asked. “Why?”

“So that we can make sure this type of situation isn’t going to happen when you marry your second wife and have heirs,” you told him and he heaved a sigh.

“Y/N…” he muttered and rubbed at his eyes again. “Fuck, my head is killing me.”

You pursed your lips, then kicked at his shoe slightly before walking to the window.

“Can you come here?” you asked and he shot you a look, but did as you asked.

“What are we doing?” he asked and you turned to him.

“Tell me what you see.”

He fixed his gaze on the skyline and shrugged his shoulders.

“The city,” he said and you shook your head.

“No,” you said. “What you’re seeing is the part of the city under your rule. Not George’s, not anyone else’s. Yours.”

He huffed out a tense chuckle. “Mm hm, the part he gave to me.”

“The part you took rightfully,” you corrected him. “No one would let you have it if they thought you didn’t have what it takes, Bucky. We’re not letting Ian take over because he’s not the right choice, do you seriously believe you’d be where you are if it was just George handing you things?”

That made him think for a moment as he swallowed thickly, still keeping his gaze on the skyline and you bumped his shoulder with yours.

“You’re frustratingly good at what you do,” you told him. “Which is going to be a problem when I take over my dad’s business and eventually will have to do business with you, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, it’s fine.”

That managed to coax a chuckle out of him and he turned to look at you better, that fond light playing in his bright blue eyes.

“Thanks Charm.”

Your heart skipped a happy beat and you smiled back at him, then cleared your throat.

“No problem,” you said and walked away from him to grab your phone off the kitchen island.

 “I’m ordering pizza by the way,” you called out, your stomach still filled with butterflies for some reason. “We stormed out in style but I’m still hungry. Want some?”

Chapter 19

[otakuworks]

❛ 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒. angst w/fluff

feat. Caelus x GN!Reader | wc. 1.6K

sum. fireflies are fleeting creatures, and so were his feelings for you. . . or so you thought

cw. 2.0 spoilers, some intended lore inaccuracies but nothing major

note. no firefly slander in here, just some angsty thoughts I got after finishing 2.0 before bed

main.mlist hsr.mlist

Ambiguous relationships are unstable, often leads to misunderstandings. The balance that had been barely maintained by not invading each other's territory and not interfering with each other's business had begun to shake. With the appearance of a variable called Firefly. Disorganized thoughts strewn like scratches in your head.

"Caelus, how can you be certain she's trustworthy if she's hiding something from you?"

"I never said she was, she has her reasons if she doesn't want to tell me, but I'm inclined to help her now that she's in danger."

He never spared you a glance as he stalked to his room.

I was in danger once yet you never came to my aid. What's so special about her? Was your bitter thought.

There were so many questions you want to ask him. If you had tried to count them, you would have run out of fingers and toes. But when you opened your mouth, what came out was utter nonsensical question.

"What makes you so inclined to help her?"

He finally stopped and gaze over his shoulder. "She's important to me."

. . . And I'm not?

You're shakened, but his golden eyes were utterly calm. It would be absurd to tell this man to forget her and stay by your side. The idea of fleeing was anathema to him.

You don't even know the girl, but based on his descriptions prior she's exactly the type of girl he would go for and it's enough to add salt on your unrequited love.

It's obvious you two like each other that even March was able to pick up the tension, but you both remained on the neutral ground and never fessed up.

Meanwhile, Black Swan's knowing gaze traversed on your distraught ones as you follow the Trailblazer on his way back to the Dreamscape. She knows the moment she looked, conflicting feelings who are yet to be acknowledged are now catching up.

Once Caelus entered his room, the Memokeeper turned to you.

"One with a sincere heart prevails, young one. He's yet to be aware of your burgeoning feelings, having the initiative might help you with your current predicament." She advised.

You barely glanced at her as you downcast your eyes. "And endure the plausible rejection now that he has her? I'd rather be colored in green."

She chuckled. "Green with envy doesn't suit anyone. It's strange to me how certain you are with your prediction."

Sighing, you turned to meet up with the special guest whom he invited you to have a chat.

"I'll head first. Take care of him, although he can do most part of it, it wouldn't hurt to have another shield."

Black Swan merely smiled as she watched you walk away with a heavy heart. Ah young ones, always so blindsided with things that hinder them to confess.

"Apologies for the delay, your friend told me about their plans to meet with the IPC ambassador before going in the Dreamscape."

Caelus, who was about to dive in, halted at his steps and his shoulders stiffened. For a brief moment, the Memokeeper witnessed the renowned Intergalactic Baseballer summoning his grey bat.

"Aventurine? Why would they meet up with him?" Was his immediate response with furrowed eyebrows and clenched fists.

"That, I do not know. You can wait and ask them once we're done with the mission."

Who ever said he's a patient guy?!

"Well, my friend. What do you say?"

You groaned upon gracing your eyes with reality and a peacock suddenly greeted you by the tub. No wait, it's just the IPC representative.

"I-I must discuss the details with the others first before making a decision." You clutched the rim the of the tub to balance yourself from that disgruntling experience.

Transition sucks the most.

"Don't worry, I can wait but try not to make it long."

Honestly, you don't even know the reason why he's seeking you out for this. It was Caelus at first and now he's interested in doing business with you.

You're tempted to ask him but it might lead to a longer conversation and you want nothing more than to relax for a moment without sleeping.

You heard Aventurine bid his temporary farewell, but you failed to notice him stopping right at the exit before shaking his head. You were too focused on alleviating the dizziness that you failed to focus the shadow framing you

"What did he want with you?" Your blood froze right there and then

"Shouldn't that be my question? What are you doing here, in my room?" You couldn't look up at him and can only look on his knees which are the same level as your eyes.

Look up and you would see every emotion to exist on his face.

It came by a blur, you were sitting in the tub and the next you heard the water splashing followed by being engulfed by someone warm and sturdy.

He's hugging you.

You blinked once and twice.

Caelus' hugging you.

If you can even call it a hug when you feel your bones cracking.

It's not a foreign act, you've hugged once in awhile but it's usually with the four of you; Dan Heng, March and him. You've never exclusively hugged before so this notion surprised you.

"Caelus?" You softly called out as he buried his face in your hair.

"Nothing remains with me. My memories and past companies, I couldn't grasp them. Now I'm graced with so many friends, I'm always afraid everything will slip away once more and I'll be an empty shell you met in the Space Station." His voice is unusually mellowed, it reminds you of a child complaining about school.

You let yourself relaxed and surround him with your warmth as well and right at that moment you feel him abandoning his weight.

He wants to say more, however the recent events seemed to have an invisible force squeezing his heart and preventing him from talking, but it doesn't stop his tears from flowing.

I don't want to lose you, too.

He wants to say those to you, but his heavy heart and parched throat reign supreme. So he bared himself and cried to you, letting himself vulnerable in front of you, hoping that would be the bridge to convey his feelings that words cannot express at the moment.

©OTAKUWORKS_2024

[demonicbaby666]

Babe. Please teacher/student Emily and fem reader. I beg of you. Smut galore!!!

Professor P

One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Genre: Smut and fluff

Words: 4k+

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, fingering and oral (r!receiving), semi-public sex (lecture hall), teacher/student, a little sprinkle of praise, swearing

Summary: Professor Prentiss has been coming to deliver weekly lectures at your university. You’ve mainly kept to the back and been weary of getting in her bad books. When you turn up late to class one day, things take an interesting turn, and you find the dynamics between the two of you drastically change.

A/n: i cannot find the gif I want, so we are going with a new layout. I scavenged everywhere for footage to make one and found fuckall :(

You're late. It's only five minutes, but that doesn't matter. Emily Prentiss does not appreciate tardiness, which is why your pulse is racing and your feet are rapidly slamming against the varnished floor.

When you reach the daunting lecture hall door, the handle mocks you with its screeching, causing you to grit your teeth. Great. Heads turn to the back of the room and watch as you clamber to find a seat, and no matter how hard you try not to look, you can feel Emily's pointed glare burning a hole straight through you.

The hall is relatively big. Sounds transpire effortlessly. It benefits whoever takes the class, their voice seamlessly carrying to the back. It offers no such advantage for the odd student who comes in late because the same principles apply. No matter how hard you try to keep quiet, the silence in the room does nothing to mask the ruffling of papers and pens.

"Thanks for joining us," Emily calls out once you settle, forcing you to meet her eyes.

You know better than to challenge her, so you grimace and mutter your barely audible apology.

"See me after class." she says, and murmurs scatter across the dotted ocean of students, "Let's continue."

It's torture. With each passing minute, your palms grow clammy, your knee shaky, and your breath heavy. Emily's picking on you more than anyone else, and though you know the answers, getting them right doesn't alleviate your nerves. She does offer a smile when you prove your lateness is by no means an accurate reflection of your intelligence. However, it's not a proud, candid smile that does little to calm you, simply because the browns of her eyes are tinted with something hungry and predatory that sends shivers through your body.

Time passes, and you continue to blossom into a colossal mess. Students dart out whilst you gather your things and nervously await your fate. On your way down the broad steps of the auditorium, fellow peers you've spoken to in passing offer their sorry attempts at comfort by leaving taps on your shoulders. It feels more like you're being sent off to the front lines rather than having a reprimand from your professor.

When you approach her desk, Emily's fingers tap away at her keyboard. Aside from a brief upward glance, she barely acknowledges your presence, and then she's back to typing, leaving you with nothing else to do - other than awkwardly fiddle with your fingers and wait.

What feels like an eternity later, Emily finally stops typing and turns the computer off. Though she may have still sat down, giving you the advantage of being on the higher ground, her piercing stare leads you to believe she most definitely is at no disadvantage and is solemnly aware she garners all your attention.

"What's the excuse?" she asks, looking you up and down.

"Excuse?" you nervously question.

"Yes, excuse," She rolls her eyes, stands up, then walks around the desk. Standing tall and remaining a few steps away, she continues, "Why were you late?"

Ice runs cold through your veins, and your mouth feels drier than the desert. You swallow the dry lump in your throat, "Library," you manage to choke out, "I lost track of time."

The answer doesn't seem to amuse her, and she rolls her eyes as she pulls up the left sleeve of her blouse. A silence bathes you both, though it seems only to take hold of you. Emily is too busy fiddling with her watch to notice or care.

It glints in the light when she steps forward, throwing your body into fight or flight, or the lesser of both, freeze. You stand stark still despite everything in your body telling you to back away.

"Hold out your wrist," she instructs, taking off her watch. You do as told and watch in astonishment as the leather straps clasp around your wrist. Emily's face remains unreadable until her eyes move from your wrist to your face, and you pick up on the slight curve of her lips and something unfamiliar in her eyes that almost resembles amusement, "Don't be late again."

Words aren't coming to you nearly as quickly as they should, and the hint of amusement that dances in Emily's eyes intensifies. Then, she grabs her things like nothing unusual has occurred and steps forward, whispering in your ear, "Next time, I won't be so nice."

A shiver runs down your spine, and before you can turn around, Emily's already out the door.

"What the hell just happened?" you ask the empty room, staring down at the watch on your wrist.

A week passes before you see Emily again, and in that time, there isn't a day that goes by when you don't wear that watch. The habit of looking down and smiling at it creeps up on you. Often, you look around to see if anyone else has noticed, then pull your sleeve over it as though it needs to be kept a secret.

Maybe you want to keep in on the down low because the thought of having anyone else know would tarnish what seems to be, or you hope to be a treasured memory shared between you and Emily, or maybe it is something else entirely. All you know is that you want the exchange to remain between the two people who were present for it. Thankfully, it does.

The leather straps of the watch itself have lightened ever so slightly with time, and a bubbling sense of warmth comes in late nights of your dorm room, looking at it and thinking of who it belonged to and how long it had adorned their wrist. You trace your fingers over the metal frame of the clockface and toy with buttons, all the while relishing in the hints of perfume that appear hellbent on remaining ever-present.

As the week drags on, you find yourself more excited than you've ever been for Emily's class. You're one of the first few to show up.

Though you usually favour the back few rows, the thoughts from the past week have you walking down more steps than you're accustomed to. Being at the front is far too much of a statement, you tell yourself. You settle for the middle.

With a clear view and no heads in your line of sight, you watch Emily stand by the computer and set up the necessary slides whilst she likely waits for the room to fill up. The side exit door is open, letting in a cool summer breeze that ruffles sitting papers on the brunette's desk—the touseling sound of crisp paper dances across the room.

The gusts of wind sweeping in aren't entirely strong, but they're blowing wisps of Emily's hair into her face. So much so she reaches a hand to brush them away and hypnotically tucks the loose strands behind her ear.

One of the first things you'd noticed about Emily, or rather, hadn't, was her fringe. Unlike in pictures you'd seen of her online, she now wears her hair down, parted in the middle with feathered layers subtly framing her face. It suits her. Then again, anything would.

Her attention falters, and she tears herself away from the screen to glimpse over the room. Eyes jadedly pass by you, then dart back and raptly take you in. Emily's gaze falls to your wrist. Her lips curve into a satisfied smirk, and there's no stopping the tension in your stomach that twists and coils in looping knots. Butterflies swim through the remains of cold brew coffee - that should be thanked for you getting to class so early - and the heat from the unforgiving sun feels like it's waited to peek through the window until this very moment to cast warm rays of light on your already flushed face.

Emily meets your eyes briefly. You mirror her smirk despite the nerves setting your body on fire and wait till she resumes scanning the room before shakily pulling out your notebook and pen.

It's not until she's looking back at her computer that you dare to look at her again. Your eyes traipse lower to her blouse. The light grey - if not off-white - colour of it is brought out by the occupying white blazer Emily has now flung over her chair. She's wearing black suit trousers, secured low on her waist by a simple belt, yet, with the buckle placement being off-centre, it becomes the heart of her outfit.

The last couple of students come in, dangerously close to being late, but no one else enters once the short clock hand takes its place next to the number nine. Emily moves to stand before the large white projection screen and begins speaking. Her hands move in time with what she's saying, gesturing to what's being displayed. Clasping together now and then.

You've always paid attention to how she carries herself, though now, you were really noticing it. Her walk, her posture, the way she needn't ask for silence or for anyone to focus because she simply demands it in the way she speaks. It's enticing. She's enticing, pulling you in like a helpless fish to bait. Everything becomes background noise from then on, and all you know is Professor P.

Words bellow through the room, and you try to focus on what's being said. It's not that you don't hear; it's that this lecture doesn't register as being nearly as crucial as Emily's newly popped button - revealing a whole new ocean of skin your eyes aren't quite sure they should be allowed to see. It takes dragging your eyes to the blank lined paper on your desk to find the will to breathe normally again.

Minutes pass. You don't dare pry your eyes away from the utter mess of words littered before you. Not being able to pick on anything being said coherently means going through the slides later, but it can't be helped. Every time you glance at the front of the room, you're entranced and sure that drool may be slipping from the sides of your lips. Somehow, Emily's loose shirt has managed to cling to her in all the right places, and you can't advert your eyes from her chest.

She clears her throat, and you break away from gawking at her breasts to see she's looking directly at you, trying not to smile. Thankfully, she moves on without drawing any unwanted attention from other students your way, but the damage has already been done. Your cheeks burn under the unbearable heat of the blaring sun and pure and utter humiliation.

For the remainder of the lecture, you keep your eyes glued to your desk. Thoughts racing, heart pounding, you think of how best to sneakily pack your things before Emily is finished so that you can flee the scene of the crime as fast as humanly possible.

That decision, unfortunately, is taken away from you when Emily makes her closing statement, "Come and collect your marked papers, and then you're free to go."

After tripping over flights of stairs rushing to be first, you end up fifth in the queue, straining to watch Emily search through a hefty pile to locate the corresponding paper to the student next in line. It moves quickly, and soon enough, you're face-to-face with the professor. Staring into her cedar eyes, you wonder why she's almost to the bottom of the papers and still hasn't found yours.

"Wait to the side, and I'll look in my bag once I've handed out the rest," Emily says, gesturing to the space beside her. So much for getting out as fast as you can.

There's not much for you to do but watch Emily delicately continue handing out papers. At times, she'll bring a finger to her lips and briefly run her tongue along it. Every morsel of your body lights up at the sight, and there is a need to discover what else that tongue could do. How fast can it move? How deep can it go? Would it delve in or torture you with teasing flicks until you're shaking with want?

The last student is given their paper, and you and Emily watch them leave. It's a hopeful thought to think that you're waiting because Emily wants to have you all to herself, and if that is indeed what she wants, you have no qualms.

The brunette leans down to grab her bag, making it incredibly hard not to notice the generous amount of cleavage on offer and the beginning of what looked to be a navy blue bralette, "You seemed less focussed today," she mindlessly says, looking through the contents of her bag.

Still flustered from the view, you shake yourself out of it and search your sluggish mind for a reasonable excuse that doesn't remotely sound anything like, 'Sorry, I was busy checking you out.'

"Sorry, I got a little distracted." It's not a lie. That does little to settle your nerves and level the uneasiness of guilt settling in your stomach.

Pulling out a sheet of paper, Emily places it on her desk and steps forward. The space between her desk and the wall is slim, so when you take the necessary action to keep your body at a distance, you feel the solidity of plaster against your shoulder blades.

In an effort to disguise your growing anxieties, you relax your back against the wall and push your hips out to place your sweaty hands against cooling white paint. Resting the straining muscles in your jaw, you hope to convince the profiler that this interaction does not affect you in the slightest despite it doing precisely that.

Emily studies your pose, and it appears for a few seconds she may have bought the whole, 'I'm waiting against the wall like any other normal student would' until she, once again, places one foot in front of the other and stands a hand's width away.

"What were you paying attention to then?" she asks, her tone unmistakably changing. It's raspy and playful, filled with the prowess of an experienced sweet talker.

She reaches out and lightly skims a finger down the outside of your arm, looking expectantly into your eyes for an answer.

Breathing has suddenly become incredibly hard. Electrical currents are running up and along the length of your arms, and they're ebbing their way across your chest, down your stomach to wake up an aching between your legs. There's no doubt what she's doing is passing the appropriate boundaries, but you can't deny the fact you want to entertain it.

"You." It was meant to come out confident. Instead, the word is whispered and almost cut short by your bottom lip slapping up to meet its counterpart.

The brunette's lips curve into a devilish smile, and she steps forward, resting one hand on the wall next to your head, "Interesting. And what about me were you paying attention to?"

"Emily," you whisper. It's unclear what you're hoping to achieve with her name tumbling out of your mouth in a manner that resembles both a beg and a warning. A faint tremor echoes through your body, and a surge of fear penetrates your mind, screaming that this could all be a wild dream within your psyche's hidden depth.

The professor's left-hand rests on your cheek; she bends her left elbow to draw her face nearer yours, and you see the eye of the storm in view.

Trudging through the muck of thoughts, you stand in the clearing. It greets you with visions that you've long since yearned for. Bodies tangled together, hands clawing along a muscled back, dark hair sprawled over exposed creamy skin dotted with botches the colour of wine.

"Please," you close your eyes and send your plea into the slither of space between you, a slither that feels more like a vast ocean. The need to know if this is real has you asking for one thing, "Kiss me."

The words linger, and weeds of doubt sprout. A pair of soft lips grab them from the root and plunge them from the earth with a kiss and firm hands now moving down to wrap around the small of your waist.

You part your lips and allow your hands to find their new anchor. They loop around Emily's neck and pull her in, and she, in turn, deepens the kiss, reaching out with her tongue to seek passage into your mouth.

Complying almost immediately, your tongues meet in a brief battle of dominance, where you quickly and selfishly decide it's best to surrender. Both of you are happy to let Emily take the lead.

Moans echo over the rows of seats, hands wander frantically under layers of clothing, and soon enough, Emily has you turned around and pressed against her desk. The shirt she's wearing has been fully unbuttoned, revealing a canvas of skin ready to be devoured: milky shoulders, sharp collarbones, full breasts, nipples straining underneath a cage of lace, and the soft outline of muscles running along her stomach down to the beginnings of her trousers.

"Up," Emily growls.

Taking it upon herself to carry through her order, she holds the backs of your thighs and props you atop her desk.

She wedges herself between your spread legs, pushing her taut stomach directly over your clothed cunt. The wetness of your underwear presses against your clit, and the realisation that no one had ever gotten you this wet from merely kissing and touching dawns on you. It makes you want her more if that's even possible.

Reaching out, you take her breasts into your hands, kneading them in your palms, then push the offending material away to give direct attention to her hardened nipples. One, you take between your lips, sucking intently, the other between your thumb and index finger, pinching and twisting it. When you switch sides, Emily lets out a crackled groan and threads her fingers into your hair. Your thumb brushes over her wet nipple, pressing it lightly into her breast. You circle her tit carefully whilst mirroring the same action with your tongue.

"Fuck. That mouth," Emily moans, the cords in her neck straining as she throws her head back in pure bliss.

Once satisfied, the brunette pulls you up into a needy kiss, desperate to show her gratitude. It doesn't last long, and soon, her mouth strays along the sharp edge of your jaw, down to your neck. Her fingers skim down your shoulder, chest and stomach, down to the buttons of your trousers, where she swiftly undoes them and delves her hand in.

You grip her shoulders, leaving moon-crescent indentations into her perfect skin, and let out a spluttered gasp. Emily runs her fingers through your glistening sex, leaving you breathless, "I love how wet you are," she says into the curve of your neck.

Using the arousal gathered on her fingers, she lathers your clit, circling it with a teasing barely-there pressure. Meanwhile, her hand sneaks under your shirt to toy with your nipple.

"More," you whimper, rucking your eyebrows and jostling your hips, striving for pleasure that will break through the surface of small shocks and leave you elated.

In unison, she bites down over your thrumming pulse point and pushes her fingers knuckle deep into you. A guttural moan roars and bounces off the tall confines of the amphitheatre. As the pleasurable cry ricochets back to the small desk, Emily shows no signs of stopping, too stubborn to care or too proud to acknowledge the severity of what the sound could lead to.

The walls of your pussy clench around Emily's fingers, heightening the stretch and feel of them slipping in and out of you. The abundance of wetness allows for no friction, and the fluidity aids the brunette to pick up a faster pace.

"You're taking my finger so well," she praises, thrusting deeper and faster.

Your nails must feel like talons to her at this point, clawing and etching at her back. She makes no complaint, only latches her lips to yours and groans whilst she fucks you fervently.

"I'm going to come." You breathlessly announce.

She pulls out abruptly, and the built-up pressure dissipates into thin air, leaving you simultaneously star-struck and confused.

A protest forms but has no time to leave you because Emily pulls you into a fiery kiss. It's fast and uncontrollable, tongue darting around your mouth, teeth gnawing at your lips, until she finally breaks away to catch her breath.

"I want you to come in my mouth," she says with a ravenous grin that instantly has you nodding your approval.

"God, yes." You moan.

Emily's quick to loop her fingers through the waistband of your underwear and trousers, leaving you half naked on the desk as she places your legs over her shoulders and runs her tongue up your right thigh, leaving a shimming saliva trail.

With one clean swipe of her tongue, the professor licks the entire length of your slit and moans as the first taste of you hits her taste buds. Hungry for more, she stiffens the muscle and plunges it inside you, lapping your juices straight from the source.

If the possibility of screaming wouldn't get you caught, you would do so. For now, you settle on nestling your hands into silky brown hair whilst quietly chanting Emily's name, encouraging 'yes's' and anything else that would keep her from letting up.

The muscles in your abdomen tense almost painfully from holding your body upright. You lay back on the desk, not wanting the sensations flowing through your body to be dulled in any way. Relief floods through you, and your actions are rewarded with waves of pleasure, crashing over every fragment of your being.

The room fades away as you close your eyes and feel the professor's tongue curve inside you, running along the rough edges of your g-spot. Too afraid you'll draw blood with the continuous raking of nails through her scalp, you settle your hands above your head, wrapping your fingers over the edge of the wooden desk.

Faint voices of students walking past the doors muffle in your ears, mingling with the rushed thudding of your heartbeat. Thud, voices, thud, clambered footsteps, thud, the sound of your moan, thud, then Emily's thumbing your clit, and every sound fades to nothingness, and you stop breathing.

Tremors render you useless. Your hips are grinding erratically, Emily's tongue is pressed inside you, and your clit is twitching. Sparks linger in your vision as your eyes fly open and find lust-darkened orbs - pinning you down with their fervour and watching you fall over the edge of your orgasm.

Somehow, through the haze of your orgasm-muddled brain, you tear your hand from the desk and slap it over your mouth to silence a shrilling sob. Your chest burns. Your legs shake. And finally, you arch your back, going joint-breakingly rigid.

The older woman slows down and runs soothing circles over the sides of your thighs. Two small pecks are placed on your hip bones before Emily stands up, and you all but fling yourself upright to devour her lips in a desperate kiss. Your aroma and sharp tang linger on the tongue, sliding into your mouth and causing you to stifle a moan at the taste.

"That was amazing," you murmur over her lips.

"Mmmm," Emily hums agreeingly, breaking away and resting her head on your shoulder to catch her breath.

"I still get to keep the watch, right?" You playfully ask, though there is some room for reassurance, "I've grown quite attached."

Emily chuckles into your neck, and it's single-handedly the most beautiful thing you've ever heard. Her laugh penetrates your skin and worms its way directly into your heart.

"Yes, it's yours," she replies.

"And…"

"And?" She pulls back, looking confused.

"I don't need to worry about you handing out other watches to students, right?"

The brunette tentatively meets your lips again in a sweet kiss, stopping only for a second to whisper, "Not a chance."

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[spidernuggets]

Jason Todd x Reader

"And who are you to judge him? It's not like you've tried to get to know him. You guys just don't know him like I do,"

"I don't get it" Rachel says to herself, staring at the couple. You're sitting on the island while Jason's head is buried in the fridge looking for another brew.

"Get what?" Gar chimes in, following where Rachel's gaze was at. "Jason and Y/N? What about them?", he quietly asks, not wanting the lovebirds to overhear their conversation.

"Yeah, I think I'm improving, but I still can't get the landing right," you say to Jason as he pops the cap off of the beer he finally finds. He replies with a simple hum of acknowledgement while taking a swig.

"He's so..." Rachel starts, trying to look for the right words to describe him. "Rude? Self-absorbed? He's not even listening to what Y/n's saying," she whispers back to Gar, finally turning away from the two.

Gar tilts his head to the side. "I don't know... They've been together for a good few months now, right? We don't see them together that often, we don't know how they're like," he tries to reason.

Rachel scoff, sitting on the couch. "That's another reason why he's a bad boyfriend. We never see them around. Does he not like showing off that they're together? Jason being a cocky-ass person, he's the kind of person to flaunt around his partner."

Rachel turns back to where you and Jason were standing just to see the two of you were gone as she scoffs once more.

Gar opens his mouth to speak once more as Kori and Dawn enters the room.

"What are we talking about?" Kori asks.

"Jason being an asshole of a boyfriend," Rachel almost laughs.

"How so?" Dawn questions.

"How could you not see?" Kori says. "Jason's always brushing Y/n off, blunt, short replies, puts missions before them, he's hardly ever acknowledging their presence," She laughs, listing all of Jason's flaws as a partner.

"I guess I've never really notice..." Dawn says, unsure.

~Meanwhile~

"Jesus, you drive me crazy," Jason says, his voice low, grinning at you like a school girl with her crush.

You're on his lap, hands cradling his face, his hands on your ass with a firm grip. You're placing soft kisses all over his face, a quick break from the hungry make-out session you both were so busy with.

Your soft kisses trail away from his face, down his jaw and onto his neck, kisses and nibbling all over. Biting a certain spot, Jason lets out a quiet gasp along with a held back whimper.

You let out a light chuckle while continuing to pepper kisses on his neck.

"I liked that," You softly say, kissing against the same spot. "Do it again," you teased.

Jason groaned. "You're trying to kill me, babe," he complains as he captured your lips against his once more.

You sighed in content, breaking the kiss and leaving another lingering kiss on his forhead.

"Don't let them get to your head, love," You tell him quietly. The both of you are well aware that the other Titans (maybe except Gar) don't see why you would date Jason. You're kind and considerate while Jason is... Jason. Jason has told you many times that he wants to be taken seriously by the other members, hence his cold demeanour. And along with those explanations, came affectionate apologies of him spending all his free time alone with you in either his or your room, cuddling, kissing, properly listening to your rants and more.

"They're right though," his reply is delivered rough and raspy, a change of voice that indicates to you that he's upset.

You sigh, arms wrapping around his neck, burying your face in his meck, breathing in his distinct scent of faint alcohol and strong cologne.

"No they're not," you say, just above a whisper. "I get it, Jay. You want to prove yourself. But you don't have to prove yourself to me. Okay? You're more than enough for me," One of your hands move down, grabbing hold of his own hand, bringing it up to your lips for another gentle kiss as your other hands cup his cheek.

Jason sighs, leaning into, your touch. "I love you, okay, Jay?" He nods in reply.

"I..." He tries to say it too, but fails as his gaze shifts to the ceiling in guilt.

"Hey, hey. I told you. Only say it when you're ready, you don't have to force yourself to say it, Jay," I assure him. "Now," You move yourself off of him, bringing him down to lie with you as you rest your head on his chest. "You're supposed to tell me about this book you were reading," You remind him. He smiles once more, his arms wrapping around you happily as he starts ranting about his new book.

~

"You guys got it?" Dick confirms with the rest of the group, finishing up a debrief with the other Titans. Everyone nod and murmur 'yes's and 'yep's.

"Alright, everyone get to training," He says as he departs.

You turn to Jason excitingly. "You wanna train together, Jay? You can help me with the new move I was telling you about!"

"Not today. I'm gonna train with Gar," Jason replies.

"Ah, okay! Have fun, teach me some new stuff you learn, later, kay?" You reach up to his cheek, giving him a quick peck and a short "Love ya!"

He responds with a grunt and a nod and leaves you with a quick caress on ur cheek as he goes to one of the training rooms with Gar. Oh how much he wants to just pick you up and kiss you and hug you and hold you for all eternity.

Hank scoffs at Jason's reaction as he walks off. Donna shakes her head in disapproval as she followed along too. The other women in the room have their eyebrows furrowed, judging looks towards your boyfriend and crossed arms as they looked at you with a lovesick grin and heart eyes, watching your love walk away til he disappeared.

You quickly turn around, smiling at the rest of the members. "Any of you guys wanna train with me- what? What's with the looks?" You ask, confused.

"What's with your boyfriend?" Rachel hisses.

Your face scrunches in slight offence. "What about him?"

"Honey, he's..." Dawn starts to say though her words trail off.

"You can do better," Kori states, her hands landing on her hips.

You lightly scoff "Why's that," You say lowly, eyes narrowing, ready to defend Jason.

"Y/n..." Dawn speaks up. "We're just looking out for you. We just think you and Jason... Aren't the best match."

"We think Jason is selfish, rude and annoying, is what she was meant to say," Rachel said quietly, but loud enough for all of you to hear.

You roll your eyes. "And who are you to judge him? It's not like you've tried to get to know him. You guys just don't know him like I do," you barked, almost wanting to cry for Jason.

"Y/n, we just-" you cut Kori off by putting a hand uo, refraining her from continuing.

"No. No, no. You can talk to me when you find some respect for Jason." You coldly say as you walked away to train.

The girls looked at each other with disappointed and worried looks.

~

The team was on a mission that involved Deathstroke. It was wild and messy to the point where everyone was split up, and only some of the Titans returned back to the tower.

Jason is pacing around, alone in his room. He's covered in blood and bruises, but those don't matter to him right now. The only thing in his mind was

Where the fuck were you?

It's been two hours since he came back with Dick, Gar, Rachel and Donna but there were no signs of you coming back. Or of the others coming back he guesses. You're comms weren't working and you weren't answering his messages.

To piss him off more, Dick forbade him from going back out, knowing that Jason's impulsiveness would bring further damage.

"He's not even worried," Rachel says, sitting in the couch cleaning the blood of herself, noticing Jason's absence of worry.

"He could be?" Gar shouts from the kitchen, trying to reason again.

"Why are you even trying to defend him, we know how he is."

"He's our teammate, Rachel. We can't go off judging him if we don't know him that well," He says softly, trying not to get a rise out of the purple haired girl.

She scoffs and reply with whatever.

Dick and Donna walk into the room. "We got a message from Kori," Dick says. "The comms were breaking up but they're all safe."

Rachel and Gar sigh in relief.

Around half an hour later, you, Dawn, Hank and Kori finally return.

You're cracking your back and stretching your arms. Parts of your hero outfit is ripped and some of your blood that escaped your skin was dried and dirty and bruises littered your face, but you were always in a bright mood.

"She's finally back and bird brain isn't even running out," Rachel whispers to Gar as his shoulders sink.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna need a lie down for the rest of my life," You groan, cracking your neck.

Even from his room, Jason heard your voice as he rushed out and saw you there all battered up.

He heavily sighed in relief, running up to you, lifting you up. You lightly shriek at his sudden appearance, wrapping your legs around his waist, hands on his shoulders.

"You're okay... you scared me..thought you weren't coming back," he admits quietly, but as the other Titans stare silently in shock, especially Rachel, they heard him loud and clear.

Jason lets you down slowly and litters your face with kisses before pulling you in closer, attaching his lips to yours, finally not caring about the presence of the other members.

"Hello to you too," you giggle, leaving a kiss on his nose.

"You're hurt," he says, looking at your scrapped body.

"I'm okay, Jay," You reassure him. But he shakes his head, carries you bridal style.

"I need to patch you up," He says, giving you another kiss on the cheek before heading to his room.

"Okay, that just happened," Kori said in amusement.

"They're cuties, aren't they, Hank?" Dawn asks, looking up at the lover of her own.

Hank rolls his eyes and answers with an "I guess so" before they leave the room.

"So?..." Gar grins in success and amusement as he looks at Rachels shocked reaction.

She sighs and leans back against the couch.

"Yeah, yeah you're right, I was wrong. They are good for each other," She admits.

~

"In front of them too?" You question, sitting on Jason's bed as he wipes away any dried blood before patching you up.

"I don't care," He says, keaving you surprised. Jason patches up your last wound, giving it a kiss before getting up and cradling your face.  "Your safety is more important to me"

You lean into his touch, your hand coming up to hold his. He leans into you for a deep, passionate and long lasting kiss.

Breaking it, he leans his forhead against yours.

"I love you," He quietly but confidently say.

Your eyes brighten and you couldnt helo but break into a wide smile, feeling giddy like a kid receiving a oresent from Santa.

"I love you too"

[sughuru]

curses, its so bitter.

- geto suguru x reader

The burden of consuming curses takes an emotional toll on Suguru, elevated by the recent loss of Amanai Riko. As Suguru retreats into his own silent struggles, the caring intervention of their partner becomes a source of warmth and healing.

genres/warnings: angsty, fluffy, hurt/comfort, minor character death, spoilers for JJK season 2(?)

notes: got an exam tomorrow but i'm writing this instead 😭 anyways, enjoy!! i'm going to sleep now, gn (nah i'm going to study fr wml!) as always, english isn't my first language, so ignore the grammatical errors, sorry!

home | masterlist

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Exorcise. Absorb. No one else understands what cursed spirits taste like. It's like swallowing a dirty rag that’s been used to clean up shit and vomit. Geto Suguru believed that no one in this world understood what he was going through; maybe he’s right. After all, it's rare for a curse user to actually like the taste of it.

You knocked on his bedroom door, “Suguru?” your voice laced with a hint of worry. 

Suguru remained silent, his form unmoving on the bed as he replayed the details of the earlier mission in his mind. The echoes of the mission played relentlessly in his mind, each moment etched with the bitter taste of failure. The weight of regret pressed upon him as he struggled with accepting the harsh truth – he couldn't save her. Amanai Riko; the girl had dreams, and Suguru couldn't forgive himself for failing to shield her from her doom. 

You quietly entered the room out of concern for your boyfriend, “babe.”

You approached his lying figure, “you haven’t eaten all day…” you worriedly muttered, your hands reached out to touch his shoulder but he quickly turned around, his back was now facing you.

“Not hungry.” he replied briefly, you noticed the slight crack in his voice.

While you may have not been a curse user but you were well aware of his habits. Whenever Suguru ate a curse, the lingering taste of the curse would hinder him from eating actual food. Combining that and the death of Amanai Riko, he wallowed in grief and sadness with an empty stomach.

Of course, as the loving significant other you are, you refused to let your boyfriend starve or struggle for another minute.

“Don’t be like that…” You sighed, touching his back. This time, he didn’t flinch or move away. That’s good.

You gave yourself some time to think, “how about tea? I can make some tea for you right now.” 

Suguru hummed, not having the energy to respond to you. Honestly, he felt bad for ignoring you like this. All he wants to do right now is pull you close to him and mutter apologies for being so…so emotional right now, but he doesn’t have the energy to do so.

You left the room and once again, Suguru was left alone in the room with his thoughts.

Was he being too harsh on you? Will you leave him because he’s treating you like shit right now? Is it wrong of him to be pushing you away like this?

So many questions yet none of them had a concrete answer.

You returned with a cup of tea in one hand, some leftover cookies you baked from trying out a new recipe. You set the cookies by the night stand, “I got your tea.”

He ignores you.

“It’s your favorite. Chamomile with a teaspoon of honey.” 

Suguru shifted, facing you before mustering the energy and courage to sit up. His voice, hoarse and weary, as if he hadn't had a sip of water in days. "You... really didn't have to trouble yourself, really," he replied, acknowledging the concern you showed. The fatigue in his tone hinted at the toll recent events had taken on him.

“Nonsense.” she smiled, handing him the cup, “I enjoy taking care of you.”

Suguru managed to smile slightly, you noticed his eyes didn’t wrinkle like it used to, it no longer had that spark and his eyebags were more prominent. Of course you weren’t blaming him but you can’t help but feel sad realizing just how much his technique has been impacting him, especially after his most recent mission.

“Thanks.” 

“Now,” she said as her hand slowly made its way to his free hand, “do you want to talk?” He sighs, “Okay.”

"I just–" he starts, "eating curses, it tastes like shit. I hate it, yet I have to do it," he says, his voice carrying a mixture of frustration and resignation.

“Worst part is,” he adds as he squeezed your hand, “the worst part is, when you eat real food, you think of the curse you most recently ate…making it taste like it.” he explains as he took a sip of his tea.

You stroke his hand with your thumb, reassuring him in your own way, “I’m sorry you have to go through that.”

Suguru’s tone changed into more of a hateful tone, “it's because of those…those monkeys. I have to eat their curses.” he muttered, “I hate them. Useless monkeys.”

“Monkeys?”

"Humans. Non-sorcerers," he explained, taking another sip of his tea. "Curses spawn through non-sorcerers' negative energy," he continued, his tone carrying a distinct bitterness, as if the very thought angered him. 

Why the hell should Jujutsu sorcerers lose their life over something non-jujutsu sorcerers do? Why should they protect the weak, why should the strong protect the weak?

It angered him, the bitterness evident in every word as he expressed his frustration. "Not only are humans – monkeys, useless, but they're also the reason why Jujutsu sorcerers die on a daily basis. At the very least, if you’re useless, don’t make shit harder for us," he muttered with a tone that carried a mix of irritation and exhaustion.

You continued to hum, your thumb stroking his hand gently. Suguru rarely opened up about his true feelings. If anything, he played the role of everyone's therapist, ‘everyone’ being you and his best friend, Satoru.

Satoru looks for him after an earful from Yaga or calls him whenever he has no one else to try out the newest mochi shop that opened just around the corner. Suguru was also your rock; you'd go to him when you felt down or depressed, and even if you didn't, he always found out and looked after you.

Slowly, everything– being the therapist friend, Amanai Riko’s death, curse eating, school, it was all too much for him; instead of seeking you out and finding comfort, he chose to keep quiet, letting his negative emotions swallow him, making him feel like an empty seed.

“You know what else hurts?” He dryly laughed, “the fact that no one– well, almost no one noticed I’ve been quieter, I’ve been going out less and less.” He looked at you with hurt in his eyes, an expression you’ve never seen before.

“Shoko is busy studying to be a med student, Satoru probably could care less about how I feel, and you…” he looked away, “you’re probably only here out of pity.”

You widen your eyes, “Suguru, no, of course not.”

“Why?” he looks at you once again, “why did you come find me today?” Suguru asks, his eyes were looking for something in yours, an answer, perhaps?

You played with his fingers, tugging on them gently one by one, “you’ve been severely sad these past few days, Satoru, Shoko, me– hell, even Nanami and Haibara noticed as well.” You laughed dryly, “I couldn’t just sit here and leave you alone.” 

Suguru pulled you into a hug, “thank you, love.”

You hummed, hugging him back before he suddenly laid back down onto the bed, turning the hug into a cuddle, “now, will you please try and eat something?” you giggled.

Suguru, who seemed to be feeling better smiled, “okay, maybe a bite of that cookie won’t hurt.”

[gothicayomi]

Edit: I made a post about Alex’s reponse: Here

Okay. The Alex callout is so fucking wishy washy that I’m genuinely getting whiplash. When I first read Ven’s callout document several days ago, I honestly skimmed it because I’m the type of person who has always just assumed callouts are fully honest. And siding with the victims immediately is always a must, especially if it’s about grooming minors, or severe abuse. At that time I was also under the impression DB was a minor, thus I automatically denounced Alex Kister. However, last night I wanted to see any updates regarding this development and I’m so glad I saw Ven’s tumblr post before he updated it, because it provided vital information (such as reminding everyone DB is an adult during all this) and I was able to see people’s responses to it. I decided to reread the document with this new, updated information in mind and I’m very upset with how badly this has gotten. Particularly about how feeble Ven’s doc is and how some of the things they said rubbed me the wrong way. For now, I’m just pointing out some things that really stood out to me with how much it didn’t make sense or it was particularly antagonizing toward Alex.

So… in the tumblr post Ven made, they were saying that the point of the doc wasn’t to say Alex was a groomer. And yet they made it VERY CLEAR that Alex’s gender identity was, in their opinion, a way for Alex to “lure victims”. Basically calling a transfem a predator cuz she expressed her gender identity AND sexuality relative to her gender identity to her partner and not minors. but Ven was also backing up from that claim, which clearly was the whole point of the doc???? But it was never stated in the introduction of the document. So first of all, I thought that was weird. It just said “Alex’s predatory and manipulative behavior.” Here we go.

So. Apparently a content creator wanting to make friends and connect with people is parasocial? Sure, content creators have to be aware of their “high status” or whatever, but i think people are also weird for idol worshipping in the first place. Alex (which I’ve seen stated uses any pronouns) has been self aware about parasocial relationships from the beginning and he’s not saying he never was aware of it. 😐 but several screenshots of him explaining himself tells that he never even thought about the potential power imbalance— he wanted some fucking friends.

These screenshots would show someone expressing their discomfort and assert their boundaries. And Alex always seemed very genuine in their apologies and would acknowledge the person’s feelings wholeheartedly. None of it was brushed off by her in the screenshots. She never downplayed anything. And yet you guys are still offended???????????????? Let me get this straight. You want someone to own up to their mistakes and apologize for making you feel weird, but when they do, you’re somehow still upset? Hm. Make it make sense. Like what the fuck you want, blood from a rock??????

By the way, what’s transphobic to one trans person might not be transphobic for someone else. As a gender-fluid person, I’m not going to be pissed off if a different gender fluid person “”“changes their gender every day”,””” (i say this particular thing because I’ve seen people act very upset over it while others aren’t) because it’s not my fucking business and it doesn’t affect me or my daily life. If they’re comfortable and happy, that’s all that matters. I have no say in what other trans people makes them comfortable with themselves. What’s transphobic is invalidating another trans person’s gender identity, expression, and sexuality, (which CAN co exist by the fucking way) and demonizing it just because you don’t like that person or you don’t want to try and understand them. Just so you know. :) that’s like misgendering someone on purpose just because they’re a terrible person, or saying neopronouns are invalid.

Here’s the thing: when you’re exploring gender identity, you’re not going to get it on the first fucking try. From what I’m seeing in the docs, this was Alex around the time they were first stepping into that comfort zone. They were trying new things. Wanting to feel comfortable. Wanting to be validated. Wanting to connect with other trans people. That’s what every trans person wants. You seriously shamed her for that? To the point where Alex admitted they felt so ashamed of their gender expression that they lied about saying it was joke? All to reassure everyone and make people feel better? Fuck you. You don’t fucking get to say what someone should and shouldn’t do regarding their body and gender— he wasn’t saying explicit things to the minors. Not stuff similar to what was said to Ven or D8 so why the fuck is anyone tripping??????

I will say that I understand why Ven would be concerned about this in the first place since when they dating Alex, Alex did make sexual comments about wanting to wear their clothes and look like them. I get it. But Ven, you were his partner, obviously when you guys were comfortably having intimate discussions that he’d be willing to share vulnerable desires with you regarding gender identity woven with sexuality. But why did you automatically, outside of your personal conversations with him, try so desperately to search for that in his convos with other people? When they had nothing to do with you I understand wanting to be concerned and looking out for other people but this was so blown out of proportion that it’s insane.

Alex trusted you so much. And one thing I was really disgusted by was the creepy ass way of you posting screenshots of his sexual fantasies. If Alex does decide to post YOURS you sent to HIM, you have no fucking right to be upset over it, okay? :) fair’s fair, my dude.

So this screenshot being posted after Ven writing in the document “venting to a minor about his sexual frustration” all I have to say is Ven what the fuck are you talking about? being touch-starved isn’t Inherently sexual. Why the fuck is Ven saying this is sexual frustration. ?????????????????????????????????????????? So it’s sexual when it’s said to a minor? Oh okay, good thinking, Ven. /sarcasm. I didn’t know cuddles and hugs were bad. I guess grown adults shouldn’t cuddle their children, or adults can’t hug their child family members. Idk what to say about the “I wish you lived closer thing” tbh because i don’t know what the person said— it could have been taken out of context. Which brings me to my next point.

Ven stated there were people who came forward with their own screenshots of what Alex said. But if someone is going to crop them into tiny little boxes and obscure what the victim said before and after, it’s going to be pretty fucking difficult to even make a proper judgment on whether or not the context is inappropriate, or if it was said to the actual victim themselves in the first fucking place. Sure, the screenshots aren’t fabricated, but we don’t know who the fuck they were sent to. That’s on y’all.

Btw I’m so fucking convinced none of these ppl have ever experienced normal, healthy friendships or relationships, oh my fucking god. No fucking basis for proper judgment, imo.

One thing that also pissed me off was Ven targeting Alex’s mental health and symptoms throughout the doc. They targeted Alex’s paranoia and suicidal tendencies. First off, I’m pretty sure everyone part of tmc + the fandom know that the most prominent themes of tmc are SUICIDE and religious trauma. I once saw Alex post a tweet about various poetry written during his high school years venting his depression and suicidal ideation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been struggling with depression and suicidal ideation way before that. I’m gonna be so honest, after seeing the way Ven twisted a lot of this around, when I look back on Ven saying “Alex said he’d kill himself if I broke up with him” makes me think Alex could have said something like “you mean a lot to me and I’d be devastated if we split.” like. I can’t be the only fucking person who thinks this. Alex has always been self aware. I know he’s really struggling right now.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO BITCH YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!! You either genuinely don’t know what paranoia is (symptom of mental illness) or you, of course, are genuinely trying to demonize an aspect of someone’s symptoms they can’t control. All to justify your bullying against Alex. Maybe research what paranoia is, and you’d be more understanding of Alex.

Mental illness doesn’t fit into your neat little boxes, by the way. And everybody experiences mental illness differently, so don’t act like you 100% know what someone is going through. I understand wanting to see the people you care about getting therapy and professional support. But you don’t have the right to demonize them when they aren’t being outright shitty.

Not to mention, every single fucking time Alex would explain their feelings and perspectives, Ven, you would shut them down in the doc. Invalidating Alex’s feelings. That’s the sort of thing manipulative people do, just so you know, Ven!! The same type of person you claim Alex is!!! Don’t throw stones in glass houses. That’s coward behavior, and projection is damaging to both parties.

Im gojng to be so deadass right now. If I could nitpick every single little detail in Ven’s document that I found weirdly uncomfortable or suspicious or confusing, I’d be making my own goddamn google doc which would be two or three times as long as Ven’s.

This entire matter genuinely could have been dealt with privately. Alex even expressed that and Ven shut him down!!! Do you know how fucking frustrating that is? And no, Alex never shut you guys down so don’t even try and twist the blame back onto him. You wanted him to own up to what he’s done and said, but y’all don’t want to do the same. Sigh!

Also, what the fuck is the takeaway supposed to be? Y’all said he isn’t a groomer. Ven said somewhere in the doc that people aren’t trying to be transmisogynistic. But clearly you are fucking using Alex’s gender identity against her. I hope you burn in hell. Also, since none of the minors were being groomed, what the fuck are you trying to prove?????????? That wanting friends is fucked up and evil???? That you and D8, grown ass adults who were consensually engaging in sexual conversations with Alex, were fucking manipulated? Evidence shows you guys were comfortable with expressing your discomfort and asserting boundaries, but like I said, y’all are still pissed off Alex took accountability. You’re adults. Act like it.

I could go on and on about this shit but these are the key points I wanted to bring up. I saw the post that donut made and I read through it thoroughly but since there is no evidence suggesting Alex was grooming minors, and he was genuinely apologizing for making Donut and other people uncomfortable, it honestly came off as a kid (kids shouldn’t even be in online without a fucking parent’s supervision anyway) being a kid: immature. So I genuinely do not give a fuck. Have your parents watch what people say to you online.

I’m a 23 year old adult who’s been in both toxic and healthy friendships and relationships with people and I can honestly say y’all are fucking stupid for even writing these dumbass callouts. I’m looking forward to Alex’s response and I will be supporting him unless there is substantial evidence showing Alex is a bad person. Ok?

Feelings and perspectives are valid and important on both ends. You don’t need me to tell you that. The point of this post is that the doc was very feeble and lacked proper documentation at numerous points. you shouldn’t purposely misconstrue Alex’s words and actions just to make him look bad, especially if your evidence (screenshots, in this case) isn’t consistent or fully exposed. I will mention what I said earlier: plenty of people here, from what I saw, were able to express their feelings and assert boundaries just fine and Alex was completely open, and whoever needed that help definitely got it. Despite everything that has happened, I’m glad people did have others who understood what they felt.

I may be editing this post if I find I think certain things need to be (re)addressed or corrected. Because like I said, there are various things I want to point out. Stay updated or not!

[thatgenericwriter]

Panic! at the Party || Jake Peralta

Parining: Jake Peralta x gn! reader

Summary: reader works at the precinct and has anxiety so when the team goes to Holt's party.... it gets a little overwhelming

Warnings: mentions of an anxiety attack

Word Count: 1.5k

P.S. takes place during season 1 episode 16 "The Party"

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You are excited to see what Captain Holt's home looks like and what his husband is like. You weren't excited about the number of people you have to be around.

Terry's compulsive need to make sure everything went perfectly tonight wasn't helping. You can feel yourself becoming more anxious by the second. You had only been at the party for 20 minutes but it felt like a lifetime.

You are practically glued to your boyfriend's side. Jake can tell that you are struggling but is proud that you have made it this far. He is trying his hardest to keep the conversations he has to a minimum as not to make Terry mad and to keep you calm.

When Kevin came up to Jake, however, you knew you were going to have to find another way to keep your anxiety at bay. And exactly as you predicted Jake completely forgot you existed.

Without Jake, you have to talk to everyone who approaches you. By the fourth person, you are ready to leave. You are desperately searching for Jake or anyone from the precinct. Gina and Rosa are surrounded by people asking Gina questions, Amy and Terry are fighting in the kitchen, and even Scully and Hitchcock are being social.

You can feel your panic rise, suffocating you. You can't stop yourself from pacing the library and your hands won't stop fidgeting. You try and calm yourself the best you can and yet you feel tears starting to fill your eyes.

The sound of your name being called pulls you back into reality. Turning around you find the last person you wanted to see standing there, Kevin. Your brain goes into overdrive, panic sweeps your entire body in a rush.

You feel vomit rising in your throat, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He's speaking to you, but you can't focus on the words. All you can hear is the sound of your own rapid heartbeat ringing in your ears.

Quickly throwing out an apology, you turn and practically sprint out of the room searching for anywhere to hide. You swing open the coat closet, only to find Boyle making out with a woman.

You quickly slam the door and look around for somewhere else. You spot the stairs and make a beeline for them. You spare a quick glance around before stepping over the chain and making your way upstairs.

You throw yourself into the closest room, barely acknowledging that you are in a bedroom, before spotting an open door leading to a closet. You slam the door shut behind you and make yourself into a tight ball in the corner.

Trying desperately to stop the tears raining from your eyes, you steady your breathing the best you can. After a few minutes, the tears have stopped but you can still feel the anxiety eating away at you.

Just as you are about to grab your phone from your bag and call Jake, the door to the bedroom swings open. Your body goes ridged, praying that it's not Holt or Kevin coming to yell at you about being in a no-go party zone.

Instead, you're met with the voice of...Amy? Before you can even wonder why she was also in Holts's room with you, other voices joined hers.

Jake? And Terry? 'What the fuck is happening?' At this point, Terry is yelling at Jake and Amy and you have squeezed yourself farther into the corner, fearing being caught and yelled at by him as well.

Zoning out you subconsciously pull your legs closer to yourself, slowly rocking back and forth. You are vaguely aware of shuffling feet and the door opening again. But you're only pulled from your suffocating thoughts when you hear your name mentioned.

"And what about that y/n person? I barely said three words to them before they practically ran away from me." Your stomach flips. Kevin had just told Holt that you were rude to him. 'What if he hates me now? He has to right? I mean I did hurt Kevin's feeling enough that he complaining about me to Holt! What if he fires me? What if--'

"What! Do you know where she went?" You were expecting him to sound stern and uncaring, but he was actually worried about you. So were some other people apparently.

You hear a door open and the sound of shuffling feet again. "Peralta? Santiogo? Sargent? What are you doing in our bathroom?"

"Were we hiding in your bathroom? Yes. But you can yell at us later, I'm more concerned about y/n right now." Jake's words make you feel even worse. Having people worry about you made your stomach flip and the tears returned to your eyes.

'God, I'm so pathetic. People shouldn't have to worry about me at a party. They should be having fun. I should have stayed home.' These thoughts plague your mind. Tears freely falling down your cheeks as you quietly sob into your hands.

"Did they look anxious? Were they fiddling with their fingers, or looking around nervously? Anything like that?" You vaguely listen to the conversation happening outside the closet. More focused on keeping your sobs quiet.

"I guess they were fiddling with their hands a lot. Their eyes were a little glossy... oh." You hear Jake curse then you hear shuffling feet and people murmuring.

"Did you see where they went?" Jake asks Kevin hopeful for at least a general area of where you could be. All hope was lost, however, when Kevin replies with a sorrowful no.

"They would go somewhere without people. If they had gone outside I would have gotten a text at least letting me know, but I don't have any messages from them. So that means they are still in the house somewhere."

Your heart starts beating faster. You should have known Jake's detective skills would kick in. It was only a matter of minutes before they found you.

"They would have gone somewhere dark and quiet, like a closet, but in a place no one would look..." You hear footsteps getting closer to your hiding spot. You pull your body closer to yourself with each step, your heart pounding excruciatingly loud in your ears.

The door slowly opens revealing a very concerned looking Jake. "Hey, sweetheart." He crouches down to your level and gently pulls your face towards him. "It's okay now sweetie. I'm here for you."

He softly whips the tears off your cheeks with his thumbs before giving you a loving kiss on your forehead. Helping you stand up before giving you a bone crushing hug.

"I'm sorry." Jake hugs you even tighter at your words, his heart shattering. "No no no sweetheart. There is nothing you need to apologize for. I should be apologizing to you for abandoning you when you needed me."

Jake slowly releases you from his grasp and leads you out of the closet and into the Captin's bedroom, where you reluctantly meet the eyes of Holt and Kevin. Before you can apologize profusely to both of them Holt begins to talk.

"I also need to apologize to you y/n. I should have told Kevin about your anxiety before the event and tried to help you." Tears brim your eyes once more, but not out of anxiety, out of the feeling of being loved.

Kevin meets your eyes and you watch as his features soften at the site of your tear stained face.

"I am also sorry." Everyone turns to face Kevin, peering at him questionably. "I have been trying to push everyone Ray works with away. I was worried that he would be treated poorly once again because of his race and his sexuality. But now I see how much you care for each other."

He turns to look at everyone before making eye contact with Holt. They seem to have a silent conversation before both of them nod their heads and start heading for the door.

"Come on everybody do not keep standing in our bedroom like some common pervs." Holt's voice instantly makes us rush out of the room and follow them.

Standing awkwardly on the stairs you wait and watch as Holt and Kevin quickly usher everyone out of their house until only the squad remains.

"Finally, now the real party can begin," Holt gestures for all of us to join them as they walk out of the door to the house, "it feels a little stuffy in here. Let's go somewhere a little more...fun?"

"Raymond is always telling me about the little bar you guys go to after work. I think it is time for me to discover what makes it so great,"

You beam at them, and all feelings of anxiety leave your body as you exit the house. You feel Jake grab your hand and you smile up at him watching as a smile creeps its way onto his face.

He leans down and pecks your lips making your smile grow impossibly bigger.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

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Author's note: hey guys its been a while that's because I have fallen extremely ill twice now in the span of like a month like so ill that I couldn't physically move without being in extreme pain and being so constantly dizzy that simply moving my head in anyway would cause me to be on the verge of throwing up and not being able to walk because the room was constantly spinning......anyways I'm back and I'm writing and I SWEAR THAT IM GETTING TO THE REQUESTS but this has been literally like one paragraph away from being done for like 2 months so I'm posting this first

[shadowynn]

| the paradigm complex | four |

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

genre: yandere!vampire!cult!poly! ateez au

warnings: yandere behavior, cursing, mentions of violence, manipulation, toxic relationships

They'll do whatever you ask. Anything you need. Anything you want. It's yours. They'll fulfill your every desire and whim. Give you the life you had always dreamed about.

And in exchange, you wouldn't just give them your soul. Oh, no. They weren't demons. What good was your soul alone when your purpose was better served alive and well? Your soul was nice, sure but it wasn't all they wanted. It wasn't all they needed. They needed your body, your mind. Your blood. You entirely. Every single fiber of your being was essential and would soon be theirs and theirs alone.

The moment you signed that contract, everything would change. For them and for you.

You just didn't know it yet.

And there was nothing you could do about it.

wordcount: 7.8k

a/n: i had lots of motivation to write this next part, so it's coming your way a bit sooner than normal. i actually meant to have it done earlier, but life got a little crazy. i hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for all your support!

| three | four | five |

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Even before you opened your eyes, you knew something wasn’t quite right; the bed and sheets were different from the one you were used to. They were stiff around you, not quite broken in, leading you to slowly become aware of the growing ache in your neck. But despite the subtle awareness something wasn’t quite right in the back of your mind, you did little more than switch to your other side and bury yourself deeper beneath the covers, hoping for just a bit more sleep before your alarm went off. 

Your movement shifted your face towards the windows, however, and left you pulling the comforter over your head to block out the bright light. You groaned, wondering why the hell it was so bright in your room before realization finally dawned on you.

“Shit!” you cursed, yanking the blankets off and scrambling around for your phone. The fact you were currently inside the bed of your new apartment only briefly registered in your mind when the nightstand you instinctively reached for was nonexistent, much more concerned over the fact you were late for work.

Another round of curses rolled past your lips when you finally managed to find your phone tangled in the sheets next to you and saw that it was nearly two hours past the time your shift was supposed to start. You scrambled to unlock your phone, ready to type out an apology to your manager and let her know you would be there as soon as you could when you noticed the previous conversation above. Your brow scrunched as you read and reread the messages between the two of you, trying to not only make sense of her words, but your own as well. The conversation had taken place the night before, and yet, you had no memory of her texting you and letting you know you had been taken off the schedule, let alone that you had openly acknowledged this fact.

You looked up from your phone, briefly taking in your new apartment around you and wondering how and why you ended up here. You remembered coming over to unpack, including Mingi and Jongho coming over to help you, and then of the invitation of going over to Wooyoung’s for dinner, but things grew hazy afterwards. You had gone with full intentions of leaving early to head back to your boyfriend’s apartment, but that clearly hadn’t happened. 

Why?

Why hadn’t you gone back? Was it because you had discovered you were being taken off your work schedule? Had you decided to just stay the night here and go back to grab the rest of your stuff later, when the sun was back out? But if so, why couldn’t you remember? If you focused hard enough, you thought you could pull fragments of a phone conversation with Felix, but anything more only made your head begin to throb.

“Oh, god,” you groaned, head collapsing down into your hands. It had happened again; another lapse in your memory.

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened to you; having experienced similar bouts of amnesia in the past few years. At least, you were pretty sure this wasn’t the first time it had happened. You were pretty sure you had experienced occurrences similar to this one before, but the longer you thought about it, the less certain you were. Any time you had questioned Jae about it, he had always brushed back your concern, saying you were just imagining things, but how could you imagine something that wasn’t there?

You had no time to ponder this last question, pulled away when there was a knock on your door downstairs. The sound had you jumping, wondering who was at your door and what it was they could possibly want from you. You hadn’t been expecting company, at least you didn’t think you were, but who knew at this point. You could have very well made plans the night before with someone and forgotten all about them.

When the knock repeated itself a few moments later, you realized that you couldn’t just continue to sit in bed. You needed to go answer the door, but in your haste to do just that, you knocked over a glass of water that had been set beside your bed. You cursed as the water spilled, setting the glass back upright and taking a quick note of the bottle of Tylenol beside it. A bottle that was most certainly not yours. 

You had no time to ponder this new revelation or to clean up the water you had just spilled, and left both items as they were as you continued to scramble your way down the stairs and towards your front door.

It wasn’t until you swung the door open and saw Hongjoong standing on the other side perfectly immaculate that you gave any sort of thought about your own appearance. His hair had been styled to appear effortless, but you were familiar enough with the process to know it must have taken him a while based on your past experiences with Felix, and though his clothes also appeared casual at first glance, you knew they were probably worth more than you made in a month. It was a stark contrast to the sweats you still wore from the day before and the bedraggled state you were in from just waking up.

“Good morning!” Hongjoong’s smile faded as you opened the door, taking in your dazed state. “I’m sorry, I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Oh, no.” You shook your head, subconsciously attempting to straighten your hair up as you shifted your stance in the doorway. What was he doing here? “I was already awake.”

“Oh, good.” His smile returned. “I didn’t think you had any food at your place since it was all a little last minute, so I brought you some coffee and muffins.” He motioned to the items in his hand, making your eyes widen.

“Thank you.” You struggled to come up with a proper response, taken back by his act of kindness. Why would he do something like this for you and why did it create a wave of warmth flooding through you, especially with the smile he was giving you right now. “Um, would you like to come in?” 

Hongjoong nodded, returning his gratitude as he walked past you into your apartment. You closed the door behind him, doing your best to calm your racing heart as he approached the small kitchen to your right. You weren’t upset by his appearance, not really, but the timing had been impeccable, catching you completely off guard as you had tried to piece the night before back together.

“How’s your head doing?” He extended one of the cups of coffee towards you, but you hardly noticed, much more focused on the question he had just asked.

“My head?” Your head tilted, once again trying your hardest to recapture the memories you had forgotten, but coming up short once more. Had you hit it last night? Was that why your mind was so hazy and why you had stayed here instead of going back like originally planned?

It was hard to hide your panic in that moment, suddenly very conscious of the fact you had little memory of your time with him and the others last night. You trusted yourself enough to know you couldn’t have done anything especially crazy, but what if your actions had been purely accidental? What if you had hit your head? God, that was an accident you would have a hard time living down. 

“Ah, I see. You don’t remember anything, do you?” It was hard to read his expression, but his smile felt teasing, leaving you more worried than you had been before. Oh, god, what had you done? “Well, if your head’s not bothering you, then I would take that as a good sign. I was worried the hangover would hit you hard this morning. Which is partially why I made the excuse to bring you breakfast. I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night.”

You barely heard his last confession, brain locking on to his reference before. Hangover? 

What did he mean by that? You hadn’t drank anything last night, fully acknowledging the fact you still had a long drive back to your boyfriend’s apartment. And even if you didn’t plan on making the drive back anymore, you were certain you wouldn’t have drank much, if at all, not wanting to risk making a fool of yourself later on. His words didn’t make any sense, and yet, it had to be true, didn’t it? How else would you explain the black spots in your memory? You must have gotten drunk.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry.” You could feel your face heating up, more embarrassed than you had ever been before. Not just from the action itself, but from the sudden fear of what you might have done in your drunken haze. “I can’t believe I did that.” Your arms wrapped around your chest, unable to quite look Hongjoong in the eyes anymore. What the hell had you been thinking last night? What had gotten into you to think that had been a good idea?

“No, no, it’s okay.” Hongjoong set the coffee back down on the counter and reached for your shoulder, shifting your eyes back towards him. “If anything, we’re probably the ones to really blame.” His expression was almost sheepish when you met his gaze once more, as though the situation embarrassed him just as much as you. “We might have encouraged you to drink a bit too much in the first place, but you were so excited at the prospect of breaking up with your boyfriend, that we thought it was a proper cause for celebration.”

“Oh.” Your lips twisted, mulling over the new set of information he had given you. What all had you said? How much information about your life had you given them? And god, what exactly had you done once you had started drinking?

You hadn’t… done anything with one of them, had you? 

No. You shook your head, though it did little to stop another blush from blooming across your cheeks once more. You may have lost quite a bit of your self-control when you were drunk, but you wouldn’t have done something like that, and you couldn’t imagine any of them willing to partake either. They had been so kind to you so far, more than respectful of you and your boundaries. You wouldn’t have. And they wouldn’t have. You were certain…

…But still? What if?

“Hongjoong, I didn’t do anything… crazy last night, did I?” It hurt to ask, and yet, you needed to know. You couldn’t very well face any of them with the what ifs stuck in your head.

Luckily, he shook his head. “No. Once we realized you had probably had a drink too many, I brought you back here to sleep it off. You pretty much crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow.”

“Thank you.” His words served as a reminder to the medicine and water set beside your bed, finally discovering the origin to both. “And I’m really sorry about last night. It might be hard to believe, but that’s really not like me at all.” You shook your head, trying once again to piece the night together. “I don’t know what got into me.” You just wished you could remember something about last night. Anything.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve all had our fair share of drunken nights in the past, so no one’s judging you for it.” He gave your shoulder a comforting squeeze, guiding you over to the kitchen island where the food sat. “But I’m guessing that means you don’t remember we had made plans to go back to your apartment together, do you?”

You graciously took the coffee he handed you this time around. Usually, you preferred tea over coffee, but you would never pass on a cup, especially seeing as Hongjoong had gone out of his way for you. And after the night you had just had, perhaps the coffee would do something to jumpstart your brain again, allowing you access to the memories that were no longer there.

“I’m so sorry, but you would be correct about that.” You paused, taking a sip of your coffee and wishing you could have made a much better first impression with them all. “To be completely honest, the only thing I really remember about last night is getting my ass kicked in Smash Bros.”

The comment earned a chuckle from Hongjoong, easing a bit of the tension in your shoulders. Despite your embarrassment, he didn’t seem to be judging you too harshly for it. “Well, if you’re still interested, I had offered to tag along with you back to your old apartment and help you grab the rest of your stuff.” He opened up the box he had brought, proffering it towards you and prompting you to take one of the muffins inside.

You grabbed one at random, voicing your gratitude as you were once again struck by how kind he had been. Not only had he ensured you made it back to your room unscathed last night, leaving you water and pills to help with the possibility of a hangover, but he had also thought to check up on you and grab you food knowing you had none. “And if you don’t mind tagging along, I would appreciate the help, but you don’t have to. I’m sure I can manage just fine on my own if I need to.”

“I don’t mind, really. After all, it’s the perfect excuse to get to know you better.” His words pulled you in, stopping you in your tracks. You had a hard time interpreting the statement, the smile that swiftly followed causing a strange pit to form in your stomach.

You fiddled with the muffin in your hand, not quite finding it so appealing anymore, as you struggled to come up with a response. “I hate to disappoint, but I’m afraid I’m not all that terribly interesting.”

Hongjoong leaned forward against the counter, propping his forearms up against it as he assessed you from the other side. “I find that very hard to believe.”

Something about his expression resonated within you, and you were struck with a sudden flurry of memories rushing through your mind of the night before. Or, at least, you had thought they were some of your missing ones; the innocent interactions you had with him and the others at the kitchen counter quickly fading to something else altogether. Your fingers fluttered to your lips before you could stop them, wondering why the hell you were suddenly picturing his lips encasing your own, let alone them traveling further downward, flitting over your racing pulse.

“Is something wrong?”

Hongjoong’s question brought you back to reality and you quickly dropped your hand. “No, I’m good.” You shook your head, doing your best to keep the blush the earlier thoughts brought and wondering just what had brought them on. He was attractive, there was no doubt about that, but you had never imagined something like this with anyone before, let alone something that vivid. “Just a bit out of still, I suppose.”

You observed him for a few seconds out of the corner of your eye, trying to figure him out. Hongjoong had been nothing but sweet and kind to you since you had met him, just like all the others, but that didn’t mean you knew him either. He had claimed nothing had happened the night before, and all the signs certainly pointed in that direction, but what if he was lying? What if something had happened? After all, you hadn’t been the only one drinking last night and he wanted to save both of you from the embarrassment.

But you smothered this thought as quickly as it came. There was no way that was true; you just couldn’t believe him or any of the others might have taken advantage of you in that way. The better solution was that you had simply dreamed it; your drunken state bringing your attraction to the man into full focus and into your dreams.

You excused yourself soon after, heading back upstairs to the bathroom to get ready once you realized your appetite had long left you. And one look in the mirror was all it took to further solidify your previous sentiments. Even if you were currently disheveled from sleeping at the moment, there was no way someone like Hongjoong would have shown enough interest in you to ever kiss you like that. He was in a completely different league than you, one you could never hope to achieve. Why would someone like him want you? Why would anyone want you? You weren’t pretty enough. You weren’t confident enough, and you sure as hell weren’t rich enough. And then, you couldn’t forget the utter fool of yourself you had made when you had gotten drunk off your ass last night. You were nothing short of a walking disaster. You knew it. They knew it. And if for some reason they hadn’t figured it out yet, they would. Jae certainly had. 

You craved to take a shower and change your clothes, the anxiety of your current appearance creeping up on you, but you didn’t have the proper supplies to do either at the moment. Instead, you settled for simply rinsing your face off with some cold water and pulling your hair up and out of your face for the time being. You straightened out your clothes as best you could, hating that all you could do was wait until you got to your destination to change into something clean.

“I guess I’m ready whenever you are.”

Hongjoong was still in the kitchen when you made your way back down, taking a short detour to clean up the water you had spilled and grab the pill bottle that was his and return it. He was still leaning over the counter as you approached, munching on one of the muffins with his phone in hand. Upon hearing you speak, he leaned back up, giving you another one of his breathtaking smiles, though this time it did little more than deepen the growing pit in your chest. Why the hell was he so nice to you? All it did was serve to make you feel worse than you already did.

“Alright then,” he pocketed his phone, oblivious to the effect his actions had on you, “lead the way.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hongjoong had never wished he could read someone’s mind more than he did now; your silent figure in the passenger seat making him yearn for just a small peak inside that pretty, little head of yours. Sadly, only the demons had that ability, and all he could do was attempt to coax them out of you, but that was a precarious and unreliable process. Without the proper concentration, you could very well just end up telling him what he wanted to hear and not whatever thoughts held you captive at the moment.

When you shifted in your seat next to him, his eyes once again trailed to the curving slope of your neck in the rearview mirror, now on full display with your hair being tied up. The majority of your scent was still covered up by the vampire who had previously taken possession of you, but it had grown stronger since last night, having now been a few days since you had last consumed his blood. It was this singular fact that had saved you the night before. If your scent had been any more prevalent, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to restrain himself, allowing himself to give in to his desires and sink his fangs into your fragile skin to take his fill.

It had been a combined effort of them all to erase your memories. Your cursed lineage might have made your mind weak to his kind’s manipulation, but without their blood flowing through you at the moment, they were limited on exactly what all they could do with you. Though your boyfriend was far weaker than them, really nothing more than a child, his blood did hold some sway over your mind, helping to keep you close to him and protect you from others’ who wished to manipulate you. And though it had been easy enough to cover their track and lead you to accept his tale of the events with little push, he knew something about it hadn’t sat quite right with you. He had seen the way you had looked at him when you thought he wasn’t looking, clearly taking note of the way your fingers had fluttered to your lips earlier. Something had leaked through their fog, but it didn’t concern him. The way your cheeks had continually tinted pink told him everything he needed to know. 

He still wondered how the hell they had gotten this lucky. There weren’t many of your kind around anymore; your ancestors long learning how to protect and hide themselves from his kind, so to not only have you walk straight into their lives yourself, but to do so unbound was completely unheard of. No vampire in their right mind would ever let you walk around so freely, especially in another clan’s territory. He had been certain it was a trick when Yeosang had first made mention of it, certain you were there on behalf of your master, but one little taste of your blood was all it had taken for Yeosang to see otherwise. You might have been currently tied to someone else, but you weren’t bound to anyone, not by the standards of vampiric law, meaning you were more than fair game for anyone to take. 

“It’s the one up there on the left.”  

“Got it.” 

Hongjoong’s eyes flicked back to the road when you spoke, taking note of the building you had just mentioned and maneuvering his way over. He had thought he could be patient with you, but the longer he was around you, the less patient he became. Your scent was growing stronger, sweeter than anything he had ever smelled before, and he was beginning to become well aware of the fact the following days of waiting for the other’s blood to leave your system wouldn’t just be tortuous for you.

“It shouldn’t take that long.” You straightened up in your seat, fingers fiddling with the ends of your sleeves and serving as a telltale sign of the nerves flowing through you. Whether this was caused by his presence or the fact you were leaving the relationship you had been tied to for years, it was hard for him to tell. “It’s mostly just clothing and books I’m wanting to grab, but there’s a few other belongings I’d rather not lose too.”

“Don’t worry about the time,” he replied. “I have nothing else to do today, so I’m in no hurry.” And he wasn’t, wanting to fully savor the time he had with you alone and in no hurry to be back at The Paradigm where his brothers would be vying with each other for your full attention. If anything, he would do everything in his power to prolong your time out together, taking full advantage of having you all to himself.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, curiosity finally getting the better of him once he parked the car and the two of you were on your way upstairs. He could hear your heartbeat racing beside him, increasing the strength of your scent momentarily as your nerves got the better of you.

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay.” You nodded, but your hands fumbled with the keys you held, causing them to drop on the floor in front of you.

Hongjoong understood why your nerves had suddenly spiked. According to Mingi, this wasn’t the first time you had attempted to leave and you feared this time would end up just like all the others. And if you hadn’t happened to have stumbled upon them, it would have. If you had left for anywhere else, you would have just been tracked down and dragged right back to where you had started. But as terrifying as that aspect might have been for you, it was far better than the fate that would have awaited you if he or another vampire wouldn’t have found you in time.

But you didn’t have to worry. Neither of those outcomes would be happening this time around. Hongjoong knew this other vampire would try to get you back once he realized what had happened, but his efforts would be futile. Nothing he said or did would get you back, and would only serve to seal his own fate. He had his own fair share of crimes to pay for in due time, after all, the fact he had been turned illegally was the least of his problems. But, they would deal with that all in due time; they still had use of him yet. 

And as much as he hated the vampire who had originally had you - if he had understood how lucky he truly was to have you, he would have never treated you the way he had - Hongjoong had to give him some credit; his former treatment of you making it all the easier for them to draw you in. It had left you with a deep craving for something more, desperate to be loved. Desperate to be wanted. You yearned for a deeper sort of intimacy, wanting to be seen. Wanting to be held. You were broken and desperate for someone to come pick up the pieces, and who was he to deny you such a request? He would do anything you wanted, anything you desired. He would give you the life and love you yearned for, and all he asked in return was you entirely. 

And that wasn’t really asking much, now was it?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“y/n!”

It had only taken a few seconds for Felix to notice your appearance, calling out your name and waving you over shortly after you had entered the small store with Hongjoong in tow. You had told the man there was no need for him to come in, that you would only need a few seconds to drop some things off, but he had shrugged your concerns away, simply stating he didn’t mind accompanying you.

You quickly matched the bright smile the blond gave you, taking clear note of the way Felix’s eyes had roamed over towards Hongjoong before slowly returning back to you. His left brow raised, quietly questioning you as to whose company it was you currently kept, all the while doing nothing to hide the sly smirk when his eyes roamed over once more.

You quickly excused yourself from Hongjoong, hoping for a few minutes of peace with Felix to straighten things out before he had a chance to embarass you. Of all the years you had known the man, he had never been known for his subtlety and this was exactly why you had wished Hongjoong would have just waited in the car.

“Who the hell is that?” He wasted no time as you came around the counter, excusing himself from the front to come take with you.

“That is Kim Hongjoong,” your voice was low, pausing for a second to make sure the person of interest hadn’t followed you over before finishing your statement, “the current owner of The Paradigm.”

“Holy shit, n/n!” Felix’s eyes widened. “You weren’t lying; the guy is a fucking god.”

“Felix!” You scolded, hands raising up towards his mouth and muffling the loud reaction he had to your revelation as best you could. You followed Felix’s gaze back to where Hongjoong stood browsing a nearby section of the store, hoping he hadn’t and wouldn’t hear the conversation that was sure to come. He didn’t appear to have noticed, but it was hard to tell if that was a smile crossing his face or not from the angle you were at.

Whatever Felix said next, you weren’t sure. words muffled by your hands still covering his mouth. You gave him a pointed look, but removed your hands allowing him to speak freely once more.

“And just what is he doing here with you, hmm?” Felix’s brows lifted, leaning back against the counter.

“He’s just here to help me out.” You crossed your arms, fighting the blush Felix’s smug expression brought. “I needed some help getting the rest of my stuff from Jae’s, so he offered to lend a hand.” Perhaps not the exact truth. He had been the one to offer without any prompt from you and had then taken you out for lunch afterwards on top of bringing you breakfast that morning, but Felix didn’t need to know any of that. Not when it was clear Hongjoong was just helping you. “He’s just being friendly, Lix. That’s all.” Because why would it be anything more than that?

“Friendly, my ass,” Felix snorted, merely amused by your explanation. “No man would go out of his way to help a girl out this much and just want to be friends, n/n. I would know.”

“Well, you would be wrong this time around. After all, he’s not the only one who’s helped me these past few days.” Though his words did cause your cheeks to tint, you didn’t put much merit into them. Despite what Felix thought, Hongjoong was just being nice. “Mingi and Jongho helped me unpack quite a bit yesterday and then Wooyoung invited me to dinner with them all. They’re just trying to make sure I feel welcomed into their community.”

Felix hummed, unconvinced. “Oh, you young, naive fool.”

“Felix, he’s my boss!” Your eyes narrowed. 

“So, you’re telling me if that man cornered you and professed his undying love, you’d just what? Politely decline?” 

“Yes!”

But the slight hesitation in your reply and the way your face fully flamed at the thought was all Felix needed to know your answer wasn’t completely honest. In reality, you knew you didn’t want to mess with another relationship at the moment, desperate for some time to heal on your own and not wanting to hurt anyone with a rebound, but you didn’t know what you would do if a scenario similar to the one Felix had just mentioned were to happen. Especially when your mind traveled back to the thought of his lips tracing down your neck…

“And let’s also not forget that I literally just broke up with Jae. I don’t want to date anyone right now.” And you didn’t, right? Right?

“So, you finally did it?” Felix’s expression lightened at the mention of your ex-boyfriend, giving you a much needed distraction from the person you had come in with.

You nodded. “I left the letter on the fridge.”

It should have been simple to write, but it had taken you forever to complete. No matter which way you phrased it, it felt wrong, leading you to scribbling things out and starting anew just about twenty times. The first had felt too harsh, but the second one not quite harsh enough, almost encouraging him that a second chance might still be on the table. Nothing you wrote seemed to work, and if it wasn’t for Hongjoong coming to your rescue at the end, you didn’t doubt you would have never been able to write something that had satisfied you and would still be scribbling away.

“And you blocked him?” 

“Oh, no.” Your lips twisted, not quite thinking that far ahead into things. God only knew what he would try to do once he found the letter you had left him tomorrow. “I guess I should, shouldn’t I?”

You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, ignoring the message from Yeosang for now asking if anyone wanted to hang out later tonight and clicking on the conversation with your former boyfriend. Your eyes briefly scanned over the previous messages, feeling a tiny stab of panic. Were you really about to do this? Writing the letter had been one thing, but blocking his number felt much more permanent, officially cutting him out of your life completely.

Was that something you wanted?

It was strange. This was a day you had been looking forward to for so long, and yet, now that you were here, you didn’t know what it was that you wanted. You didn’t want to stay. You knew that, but he had been all you had known for so long. What if he was right? What if you did need him? You had never been on your own before, so what if you weren’t capable of it? What would happen when your life fell apart on you and you were left with no other choice but to go crawling back and praying he would take you?

Perhaps cutting him off from your life wasn’t the best choice. Perhaps all you needed was a short break from each other, some time to think things over before finalizing them. Then maybe the two of you could talk things out…

Seeing your hesitation, Felix plucked the phone from you hands, using your distracted state to his advantage.

“He, give that back!” You reached for your phone, but he held it above him, just out of your reach. “Damn you and your stupid long legs,” you cursed, but you didn’t really mean it, not when you knew he was only doing what you weren’t quite able to do yourself, just like Hongjoong before.

“There, all done.” He was about to hand your phone back to you when it buzzed from an incoming message. “Ooo, who’s Mingi and why is he texting you?” Felix’s brows wriggled before opening it up to read. “Hey, just checking in on you to see how you’re doing. Did you and Hongjoong-”

“Give it back!” 

Your face tinted as Felix read the message out loud, once again reaching for the phone in his hands. Thankfully, you got him unprepared this time around and were able to snag it back before he found any of the other messages you had on your phone from the rest of them. You didn’t know what you would do if he had found the group message you were in with them. None of it was anything but friendly, but he would find a way to make it seem more than it was. 

“I’m so glad to see you’re feeling better,” you mumbled, locking your phone back up and putting it back in your pocket for the time being; you could text Mingi back later.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Felix’s smile turned sheepish as he scratched at the back of his head. “I think it was one of those twenty-four hour stomach bugs or something. It came on fast, but besides some exhaustion this morning, I felt fine.” He shrugged, covering up a yawn with one of his hands. “But, I should be free after work in an hour if you want some help unpacking.”

“Really, that would be great!” 

You brightened up at his offer, fully knowing having Felix with you tonight would help calm your nerves. While his teasing helped to distract you from the issue at hand, your mind never fully strayed from it. What would Jae think when he got home tomorrow and found the letter? Would he try anything? And if so, what?

Felix straightened up before you had a chance to go over any of the details for the night, and when you noticed his eyes straying to your right, you turned to find Hongjoong approaching. 

You did your best to match the smile Hongjoong gave you, but you weren’t quite able to completely suppress the blush his figure brought from your earlier conversation with Felix. “Hongjoong, this is my friend, Felix.” You were quick to introduce the two when he got close, hoping once again that he had been too far away to hear anything Felix had said about him. “Felix, this is Hongjoong.”

“Nice to meet you,” Felix was the first to speak, a smug grin on his face as he extended his hand towards Hongjoong. “n/n here has talked quite a bit about you.”

You blanched, inwardly cursing the boy out in your head. You should have known better than to trust Felix around any of them, especially once it had been made known you found Hongjoong and the others' each physically attractive.

Hongjoong’s smile relaxed at Felix’s words, earning a soft chuckle that only served to increase your nerves and leave you yearning to disappear. “Likewise.”

“I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.” Afraid for where the conversation might go if you let them, you quickly rummaged around in your bag for the few items you were there to drop off. “Felix and I just got to talking.” You gave your friend a pointed look, hoping he would listen to your silent plea and not do anything else to embarass you further.

“Right, we were actually just discussing what we were going to do to celebrate y/n’s breakup.” You should have known better than to trust Felix to back down, and you inwardly cursed the boy once more, absolutely terrified for the next words that would come out of his mouth. “We were thinking about maybe going clubbing since it’s been a while n/n’s been out dancing and I know how much you love to.” Felix’s expression was smug as he continued, ignoring how embarrassed the conversation made you. “If you and your other friends are free, you should come too. The more, the merrier, after all.”

You opened your mouth to intervene, wanting to tell Hongjoong he didn’t have to nor should he feel obligated to, but Hongjoong beat you to it, answering Felix’s invitation before you could open your mouth.

“I’d love to, and I’m sure the others would be down as well.” Hongjoong’s eyes brushed in your direction, the smile he gave deepening the blush that painted your cheeks. And for a split second there, you thought Felix might have been right. Perhaps Hongjoong did harbor some attraction towards you. “In fact, I’m close with the owners of Illusion downtown, so I wouldn’t have any issue getting us in if you wanted to go there.”

For a moment there, you had forgotten just who Hongjoong was and the status he must have held in the city, but one mention of Illusion, the most sought after club in the city, was all it took to remind you just who he was. The waitlist for it was months long, and the entry fee far higher than you could ever afford.

“Oh, no. I wouldn’t want to put you out of your way.” Even Felix seemed taken back by the mention, catching him off guard for a split second. 

“It’s no problem, really,” Hongjoong replied. “The owners actually owe me quite a few favors, so I pretty much have acess to it whenever I want, and if we’re going to celebrate y/n’s new status, then we might as well do it in style.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Wait, he was the one to invite us?” San asked, straightening up from the couch once Hongjoong had mentioned their new plans with you on Friday night.

No one had complained when he had first told them, as the idea had been nothing less than perfect. What better way to show you off to the others than at Illusion? But then Hongjoong had let it slip that your friend would be joining them in the endeavor.

Hongjoong nodded. “I think we might have misjudged him. He certainly seemed very interested in our relationship with her.”

He remembered the way your friend had referred to him in the beginning, a reflection of the way you must have referenced them in the past. The way you had immediately freaked out and glanced in his direction terrified he might have overheard you all but clarification of it. Of course, your attempt at hushing your friend had failed. His senses were far superior than your own and he had caught every word that had come out of each of your mouths, even the ones you had whispered in return.

“And what exactly does that mean?” There was a venom in Yeosang’s voice, still clearly upset over the fact you had declined his invitation to come over in favor of the very man they were currently talking about. The very man who was still alone with you inside your apartment one floor down.

“It means he has far more interest in us than he does with her.”

You may have attempted subtly in your attraction to them, but your friend had not. Not only had Hongjoong been acutely aware of the way his eyes had traversed his figure more than once, but also of the way his pulse had quickened when he had finally approached; a telltale sign of the attraction he also felt towards him.

“Oh,” Yeosang chuckled, collapsing back down on his couch. It didn’t quite make up for the fact you had still chosen him over them for the night - something you would not be doing again - but it did help lighten the urge he had to go down the one floor to your room and toss him out, if he didn’t kill him first. “How does he smell?” He had gotten brief hints of the man’s scent since he had arrived hours earlier, but had been unable to exactly pinpoint it between the others that filled the building.

“Does it matter?” Seonghwa’s brow raised, swirling the glass in his hand. Haru’s blood had used to be his favorite, but he had gotten a strong whiff of your own earlier. He had gotten subtle hints of it the night before, but it was much stronger tonight; the former vampire’s scent slowly dissipated with time. It was enough to make his current drink now less than desirable, wishing he didn’t have to wait a few more days for your system to purify itself.

“I guess not.” Yeosang shrugged, mind trailing to a similar train as Seonghwa’s. Out of all of them, he struggled the most with your growing scent and fought the fangs that threatened to come out each time he caught it. “But it does make the experience all the more enjoyable if and when we find the need to get rid of him.”

“Perhaps, but our best use of him is alive at the moment,” Hongjoong replied, setting down his own drink. He had thought spending the day with you would be advantageous, and it was, but even he had been fighting the urge to take you right there in the bookstore. You had gotten so flustered in the end, your scent had become nearly overwhelming, even with the other vampire’s covering parts of it. “He’s made it quite clear that he’s attempting to set her up with one of us.” And the way his teasing had gotten you all riled up, told him you didn’t mind. Not really.

“Really?” Wooyoung’s head cocked. “That’s a new one.” Their very nature was designed to attract humans to them; everything from their physical appearance to the scent of their blood was created to lure in their prey with little effort. The man should have been fighting to get closer to them himself, not encouraging others.

“Does that mean we’re going to let him come?” Mingi looked up from his phone, frowning slightly as he took in the latest text message from you in a new light with the information Hongjoong had just provided. The smiley face you had included in your goodnight message now very possibly having been done by the boy hanging out with you and not yourself.

“I don’t see why not.” Yunho shifted beneath Mingi as he replied, the smile he sent down in his direction clearly stating he had come to the same conclusion as Mingi had over the text message he had boasted over a few moments ago. “I for one, would be more than happy to see just how flustered we can get her through him.”

“I don’t think Yunjin and Jiwoon would mind either,” Hongjoong added, mentioning the current owners of Illusion. “They’ve always had a fondness towards pretty things.”

“I don’t know,” San wasn’t entirely convinced. “I don’t really feel like having to share her attention any more than I already have to.” 

“Sannie, she’ll be so drugged up on our blood, I doubt she’ll even remember he’s there, let alone that he even exists,” Seonghwa replied, putting the younger vampire’s mind at ease. “And if he’s as pretty as Hongjoong says, then his attention will quickly be pulled elsewhere as well. Though,” his eyes flashed in Hongjoong’s direction, “I would make it well known another incident like the one before is completely out of question if he’s as useful as you say he is.”

“After what you did last time, I highly doubt they’ll make the same mistake again,” Hongjoong laughed, remembering the onslaught his oldest friend had gone on after discovering one of Yunjin’s members had accidentally killed Seonghwa’s favorite human at the time, only for him to return the favor tenfold. “He was their favorite, remember?”

“Are we settled then?” Jongho asked, face buried in the jacket you had left in Hongjoong’s car from earlier. Wooyoung was also curled up close by, head leaning against his shoulder as he breathed in what pieces of your scent he could gather from it. “Because it’s already late and we still have quite a bit more to discuss.”

The purpose of tonight’s meeting was supposed to discuss how exactly they were going to handle your transition over to them throughout the upcoming days as well as the vampire that was bound to come calling tomorrow night when he noticed the card Hongjoong had left without your knowledge, but one mention of the man currently with you was all it took to get them off track before the meeting had even begun.

For once, everyone was in agreement with the plan. San and Yeosang weren’t entirely happy with the idea, though the latter was just still upset by being rejected earlier, but there was little resistance from either when it came down to it. Yunho had brought up a great point, after all, and if that didn’t work, then they could just do as Hongjoong had suggested and use your friend to make you jealous instead. Nothing would leave you craving their attention more than the sudden loss of it. They knew that from experience. 

But in the end, it didn’t matter. One way or another, come Friday night, the transition would be complete and you would be completely theirs. And there was nothing you or your little friend could do about that.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglists will be in reblogs :)

[flower-boi16]

Viv will NOT have Stolas realize his mistakes - here’s why

A common defence I’ve seen lodged towards people criticizing Stolas’ writing in season 2 that has popped up since Apology Tour released is the idea that Viv will call out Stolas’ bullshit in these specific scenes in a later episode.

This defence doesn’t work, here’s why.

Oops directly set up the idea that Blitzo is biased against royals, how despite the nice things that Stolas has done to him, he still doesn’t believe that Stolas loves him and thinks he looks down on him because he’s too blinded by his pre conceived notions against royals. Regardless of how this was executed, this is what the show is intending to say.

All of Blitz’s scenes with Stolas after this point are consistent with that, especially the beginning of Apology Tour. The scene directly frames Blitzo as too up his own ass by his bias against Stolas to realize Stolas loves him, and Stolas’ dialogue is also consistent with how the writers want you to see Blitz no matter how god awful it is.

The infamous “I don’t look down on you” line is intended to communicate that Blitzo is too up his own ass to realize that Stolas loves him and doesn’t look down on him, which is how Blitzo is being framed through this whole scene. Blitzo is too consumed by his own biases to realize that Stolas loves him, regardless of if you think this is executed well (it’s not) this is what the show is trying to say.

And with this, the narrative is clearly taking Stolas’ side here, his frustrations with Blitzo being voiced in his rant about how Blitz sees him him as this all mighty prince the who looks down on him when he isn’t is also consistent with how the narrative is framing Blitz.

All of Stolas’ dialogue here is consistent with what the writers previously want you to believe about Blitz, no matter how unsympathetic and nonsensical it is. Meaning that the writers don’t see Stolas as in the wrong in this situation.

If the show were to call out Stolas’ bullshit in these scenes it would directly contradict how they were previously trying to present this relationship, as it would acknowledge that Blitzo wasn’t in the wrong for not believing that Stolas loved him which would contradict how he was previously framed.

”But Viv said that Stolas wasn’t self aware in the description-“ ya well I don’t think that matters. Because given how the show is clearly framing this, I’m more willing to bet that Viv realized the flaws in her writing and rather than trying to fix them, she decided to lampshade them in the description so she could make it look like it was intentional.

When it clearly was not.

[mywritingonlyfans]

someone once sent you a request about alex meeting up with a ex girlfriend to apologize and reader feeling a bit insecure due to her past and i like the idea of him teaching her how to be loved in the right way. it would still be good to read ❤️

Of Old // Alex Turner X fem!Reader

I do remember it, it was such a nice one at the time ☝️

...

Given your past, he was aware that it would weigh more heavily on you than it normally would. However, it wasn't that he thought badly of you or the situation; he simply chose not to withhold information. The conversation was brief, and Alex believed everything had been transparent and resolved. Although he had considered elaborating more, you seemed unbothered, and he didn’t want to prolong the subject, fearing it might hurt you when you appeared to be fine.

Now, the contrast was stark. When he told you, you had just returned from work, and as usual, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders in a hug. He nuzzled your skin, feeling comforted by your scent and reassured by your return—a mix of relief (you were safe) and the desire to be with you. Without feeling the need to delay, he shared his day with you, something typical of your evenings together, except for the fact that he had seen his ex.

You were moving around the kitchen, preparing a meal, and he recalled the sequence of events. As you grabbed ingredients, he mentioned spending the day at the studio with Jamie, and that Katie had been there. During their conversations, Jamie had brought up some ex-girlfriends he hadn't treated well. Despite them not remembering him, he realized he needed to acknowledge his mistakes to avoid imposing his insecurities on others and making them feel responsible. Sometimes Jamie felt like he should have apologized to them in the past.

"Yeah, I can quite understand that." You smiled slightly, and Alex nodded, knowing this mirrored your predominant experience in your previous relationship. He continued, letting you know that he recognized behaviors similar to those Jamie described and felt the need to apologize for some of them. You paused, watching him intently and biting your lip—not nervous, but not expecting such a conversation at the end of the day.

"You know, she’s friends with some of our mutual friends. I thought it was worth it for the sake of social harmony, and she knows I’m with you. I called her quickly, and she said she could meet for a snack. It wasn’t extensive; I just apologized for certain actions and acknowledged my mistakes. I feel better having talked to her; she didn’t deserve some of the things I did. She said she understood and that she’s happy now." You nodded as Alex pulled you closer. "That's such an Al thing to do," he laughed, and you forced a smile. But it was too late; his words, the prolonged and breathed intonation, reading your reaction, replayed in your mind like a curse. He cupped your face, gently rubbing your cheek. "I thought it was fair to tell you. Is everything okay?"

If he weren’t so close, you probably wouldn’t have looked at him. His eyes were bright, so yours, but your body wasn’t there for him. You agreed, wondering how often Alex thought of her or if anything had changed after seeing her again. "And what did you eat?" you asked, trying not to sound jealous. You were serious, even though you wanted to hide and cry. "I had an Italian espresso and ordered some cookies; I brought some for you," he said, getting up to fetch them. You smiled because he had remembered you and hadn’t mentioned what she ordered. You trusted him, pushing the subject away, insisting you were mature enough to handle it. But after years of being consumed in disposable doses, looking ahead wasn’t so simple.

When Alex fell asleep, you found yourself with your fingers in his neck, playing with his soft hair as he snored. He seemed at peace, a strength that made you think he didn't deserve your torments, which you tried real hard to avoid. You kissed his shoulder and left him there, knowing sleep wouldn't come; you had been in this scenario before (never with him). You warmed a cup of milk and thought it was a good time to eat the cookies; the variety and familiar flavors made you feel a bit better. You had no doubt that he loved you, but what if he still thought of her frequently? What if he was happy to see her again? What if you were doomed to just have failed relationships? It didn't make sense; Alex was with you, you knew why they had broken up. You even thought it was good that Alex went to talk to her. However, feelings could change, and we can't control them.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. You didn't hear what Alex said. His hair was messy, and he looked tired; he didn't deserve this. He joined you on the couch, took the cup from your hand, and put it on the table. His arms gently wrapped around you, your cheek pressed to his chest, soon his warm lips were on your forehead, making you sigh and breathe deeply. He wiped away your tears, only then realizing you had cried more out of fear for yourself than for him having feelings for someone else. This way, you would end up pushing Alex away; you needed to learn to deal with your mind alone.

"Why aren't you sleeping? I thought you were okay, little one." You curled up more in his arms, wrapping around his torso; the contact with his skin calmed you. You couldn't look at him, but Alex always made you feel comfortable and heard. You were about to apologize again, but he quickly denied it, holding your chin, looking at you briefly until you had to look away again, feeling pathetic.

"I need you to tell me what you're thinking. I didn't realize it was necessary to say more about this.” He sighed, swallowing his saliva little by little. He was pure sedative for how in turmoil you were. The comfort of his breathing in not wanting to sound bad. “There's nothing wrong with that, but I need you to communicate. If you told me you were meeting with an ex to talk, I would also find it at least strange. I understand it's not the best scenario." His accent, thick from just waking up, was sweet, almost whispered, and he looked so handsome, more rested, with his squinty eyes.

"I'm not him; I want to hear you and see you well." His fingers tracing your back as your tears stopped with his voice. You nodded, and he kissed your shoulder, understanding you needed some time before saying anything.

"I’m not afraid you’ll treat me badly; I know you won’t. I’m just worried you’ll get tired of this. I want things to work out." You rubbed your eyes, your words sounding as tired as you felt. Alex traced your nose with his finger, following the bridge with his thumb.

"And you’re trying, aren’t you? I’m ‘ere with you; there’s no reason to try alone." He felt your relieved smile against his chest as your fingers played with his necklace. "Talk to me, lil’ one." He nuzzled your nose this time, eliciting more soft laughter. "It’s better when you open up and don’t carry all the weight by yourself." You nodded, still feeling a certain sense of how ridiculous it all seemed.

"There’s the call on my phone. I think it has the conversation time and the hour; or you could talk to her? Or maybe Kate? What do you think? And I don't see her often anymore." It was so casual, as if it wasn’t a problem for him (though, in a way, it should be).

"Alex, I’m not going to check your phone or talk to your ex. I trust you." Your eyes welled up with tears. He seemed to understand, his cheeks flushing.

"I don’t trust myself. I still think you’ll get tired of all of this. I kept wondering how often you think of her, if it was just because Jamie mentioned her or… I don't know," Your voice trailed off, and it pained Alex too.

You were friends with Kate, and Alex felt he had learned more about your past relationship through Kate than from you (which wasn’t your fault; you had never withheld anything). And everything he knew was bitter; he couldn’t accept that someone could have been so harmful to you.

The thing was, you had been on that side of the coin before. Even though you didn't expect the same from Alex, you couldn't help but act in a protective mode. On the other hand, Alex might not fully understand, but lacking personal experience in your pain, he knew how to respect and support those he loves.

He shook his head, your body still nestled against his. "I don't think about her. In fact, I've seen her only a few times since we've been together, and only at mutual friends' parties. I haven't talked to her since we broke up." You nodded against his skin, and he held you firmly yet gently, as if you might slip through his fingers. Deep down, he feared that your hesitations might lead you to decide against wanting a new relationship so soon. "It's only you. I don't know how else to say it, but I spent the whole day thinking about how much I wanted to come home and see you; to relax with you, see your smile when you see me, and get a tight hug." Above all, you understood. Alex left no room for doubt; this was about your past experiences, and he embraced that fully.

“I love you, Al. I'm trying.” You sniffled, nuzzling the tip of your nose against his soft skin; the warmth making you sigh. Alex loved that. He dreamed of those gentle hugs of yours even when he didn't need to be far away.

“I know, and I’ll be ‘ere through the entire process. I love you too.”

…

You wrapped your hand around Alex's index finger, which made him come closer. So close that your shoulders collided, you found it pleasant. He avoided things that might make you uncomfortable, and you appreciated how important that was to him.

"Is she your girlfriend?" The sweet old lady smiled, happy to see you with Alex. You had gone to the studio with him, Katie was around too, it had been a good meeting. He suggested stopping by the café during the break, and there you were. "Yes, the biggest fan of your cookies." Then it occurred to you that you had eaten more cookies from there than you remembered Alex bringing home. You smiled sheepishly, nodding and telling her they were indeed your favorites. Alex hugged you as your head nestled against his shoulder, the lady deemed you both adorable.

You chose a table near the window, the warm sun bathing you both. Alex had ordered the coffees and picked out the cookies; you suggested new flavors to try. Sitting beside you, Alex blew on his hands and then placed them over yours, making you smile casually as you looked between him and the new treats. You leaned in, kissing his cold nose, making him smile widely with bright eyes. He kept looking at you, happy that you felt comfortable exchanging affection in public. He kissed your cheek too, leaving no doubt that he was glad with it.

You wanted to thank him for his patience, but you knew he didn’t see it as an obligation. He had feelings for you, and that’s how it should be. Even so, you rested your head on his chest, hoping he understood this gesture carried the same meaning.

...

you have to tell if you wanna be remove 😅 also here's the forms link to be in!

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[kyouka-supremacy]

I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

[ilikekidsshows]

À thing I find so disgusting about Ladynoir since season 4 is that the show pulled the real life abuse pattern that Chat Noir's "behavior issues" and "self-consciousness" were on the surface level 'solved' through Ladybug's awful treatment and disregard of him as a human being. Out of the sudden he's "fixed" (which then showed itself as false at the end of season 5) which is used to claim that she was perfect and blameless all along, when all that happens is that Adrien learned that he has to be quiet and obedient around Ladybug or else he'll face the consequences for it again because she's stressed and always takes it out on him for which he will then have to cuddle and absolve her of the blame again because heaven help us what would happen if he didn't.

Ladynoir is a very realistic happen of an abuser and a victim. Her every emotion and word is the law and he's always irrational and wrong and needs to bow to her whim and be perfect so she doesn't have to ever REALLY try. Like an abuser and victim. This is exactly what it resembles to a T.

If Adrien as Chat Noir stopped "acting out" around Ladybug, it's because she has made it clear as day that he'll face physical and emotional consequences for it. Her having the basic decency to not take pleasure from doing it and FINALLY having stopped doing it by default doesn't undo the the fact that he had to learn that she's not a save person to be around and he has to be as perfect and small and quiet as possible because she can apparently not help herself but hurt, neglect, and use him. Adrien had to learn by now that Ladybug views hurting him or someone else hurting him for the greater good as a justified sacrifice to make and a price she's willing enough to almost always pay if it serves a greater purpose.

Season 4 proved that there is hardly anything Marinette would ever spare Chat Noir from since that is second nature for her in their dynamic and she prioritizes him understanding that she isn't ill-intentioned above working on herself to stop hurting him in the first place. That's a classic uncomfortable-abuser priority whne the abuser doesn't know how to not hurt the victim so they rather want to make sure the victim acceptes the bad treatment. It is inherently a selfish approach and Marinette is doing that with Chat Noir. She wants him around and what price he has to pay for that is hardly of any relevance to her.

It doesn't matter that Ladybug finally stopped being violent on main now that she didn't had anyone else besides her, she has already teached him and justified it how much she's willing to do to him. It isn't a question of "would Ladybug hurt Chat Noir?" because the answer is yes. The question is rather, when will she justify doing it again as she did before? As we already saw in Derision. Where Marinette's first instinct for her plan was to risk hurting and humiliating Chat again and it ended with him apologizing for not having controlled his emotions, but she tells him to as good as THANK her for having made him her target again because she says that's what they have partners for and she was KIND for doing that to him. So HE accepted his behavior was wrong, but SHE declared herself as flawless and generous again. No self-awareness whatsoever, she learned less than nothing or at least wants him to keep thinking that her behavior is good and gratitude-worthy so she can make herself out to be the kind und understanding person for "forgiving" him for being the flawed one of the two of them.

It's a realistic abusive relationship with Marinette as abuser. Not all abuse is done with malicious-intentions. It's abuse 101 that you can unintentionally abuse a loved one but I guess acknowledging that not-evil girls are normal humans and can therefore be abusive too is not "feminist" enough for the show.

If Chat Noir isn't talking back anymore it's because Ladybug has proven how badly she takes being talked back to and that she can only be talked to in soft compliments or else he will face a consequence for 'stressing' her again. No matter if it's just her ignoring him and talking over him again like in Perfection, actually screaming or hitting, being "accidentally" dehumanized and publicly humiliated by her again, or plain and simply having to suck up to her again to make sure him not agreeing with her isn't making her spiral which affects her hero performance and will cause him to having to suck up to her even more.

If Adrien isn't asking for anything again it's because Ladybug teached him how unsave she is to ask and expect anything off. Her feeling sorry and not intentionally hurting him doesn't undo the harm. Ladybug isn't safe to rely on so Adrien stopped doing it in season 5 all together because of how the Ladynoir conflict was handled in season 4.

No one is unable to be toxic and abusive under bad circumstances. That's normal. Circumstances explain but don't excuse or undo the harm. Funny how the show and Marinette fans understand that whne it's to HER benefit, but the moment it's about Marinette's flaws they pretend like they've never heard of that concept before.

I'm upset with canon Ladynoir because, yeah, it can definitely still be saved, but that requires accountability and effort from Marinette to stop only caring about Chat not ever being upset with her. Cause that only reinforces the toxic/ abusive cycle that teaches him awful lessons, puts his life and well-being at risk and leaves him isolated in case he needs help (as it all happened in the end) which she only tolerates because she is the one benefiting from it. That not justice, that's self-righteousness and extremely selfish.

---

I’ve said this before and it bears repeating; the writers made a grave mistake when they made Marinette directly benefit from Adrien being an abuse victim. Because Marinette benefits from Adrien's trauma responses, and she's the type of person who presses any advantage she has, she has outright taken advantage of the way Cat Noir reacts to things to win arguments and get her way. She has seen that he doesn't value himself and has done nothing with this info but take advantage to get away with her toxic behavior. She is extremely toxic.

Because Adrien came to her preabused, he won't question how she treats him too much and will always stop pressing back against her after she makes it clear she doesn't want to budge once. Adrien is used to unreasonable people who won't consider his perspective, so Marinette never has to take him into account and so she makes no effort to do so. Even if Adrien wasn't an abuse victim, she'd be a jerk for thinking hiding a third permanent team member from him was okay, never mind the increased frequency and violence in any physical admonishments directed at her supposed trusted partner.

This is also one the root causes of the abuse apologia in the show and fandom. A  lot of people are uncomfortable with the idea that our beloved protagonist is abusive, or even “just” toxic. They’ve been rooting for her for years, waiting for her to improve on the things that made her similar to the villain of the show. But now the show has made it clear that, no, actually, she won’t improve, because the girlboss fantasy is built on Adrien being abused into submission so that Marinette never has to be uncomfortable or do anything in a relationship that isn’t strictly to her benefit, be it a friendship or a romance.

The main character of Miraculous, and the main relationship in Miraculous, both hinge on people just ignoring the fact that Marinette is acting extremely toxic. Because, if people acknowledge that, it’s apparent that this show is saying some messed up stuff about abuse and that the main heroine and main couple should absolutely not be rooted for. And that’s why even people who think Marinette’s actions are toxic, aren’t ready to say she is toxic. They have to make Marinette’s actions a separate entity from her, despite said actions being the very core of the Ladybug/Cat Noir relationship in the retool seasons. Marinette “has good intentions” and they’re invested in her story and the idea that said investment might be underserved is just hard to come to grips with.

[shogvnate]

GODS & MONSTERS. yan! re8 ladies x reader.

general yandere headcanons + snippets pt 1.

contains; mother miranda, mia winters.

warnings; extremely toxic and unhealthy behavior, broken mindset, body mutilation on miranda's part, potentially triggering content, yandere. you've been warned.

⸻ 🐦‍⬛ mother miranda

obsessive, stalker, and training type

arguably the worst.

other than how to revive her deceased daughter, her thoughts revolve around you, you, and you. It drives her absolutely insane that she's drifting from her original plans of marking you as just another one of her failed experiments.

you can never feel alone, no, not with her being lovesick.

her crows are always watching, always listening.

she knows everything, don't try to hide anything from her, it never ends well.

she despises disobedience, no one wants a darling who's rebellious, no?

at some point she'll definitely break your mind, it's unavoidable, basically.

rarely ever affectionate, shows her love in other extreme ways such as giving gifts (eg. putting a golden bracelet still attached to a severed hand in front of your bedroom door for your 'anniversary', wrapped in the guts of the lycan who attacked you earlier that week), and of course, words of affirmation.

she truly does love you in her own sick and twisted way, but oh, darling, she's too far gone to save.

"don't deny me. worship me, acknowledge me as your one and only savior, and you shall find what you need," her smile was like a blank canvas, begging for someone to add value to it. it made you sick the more you think about it.

because she didn't want no simple mortal.

she wanted you.

miranda drowned herself in the way you gazed at her numbly, twirling a lock of your hair in her clawed fingers. "anything you could ever possibly need will be with me."

how you hated her smile.

⸻ ❄ mia winters

removal, isolating, and manipulative type.

mia doesn't like it when you smile at anyone other than her. she doesn't know why, but she loathes the feeling of being ignored for someone who clearly doesn't fit the standards for someone like you.

she goes to unhealthy measures to make you stay by her side. gaslighting, threats, guilt tripping, you name it.

someone asking you out for lunch? they didn't show up for lunch and they never talk to you again.

gets scolded by her peers due to her constantly being in your shadow and controlling everything you do but she shrugged them off.

most of the time she's not aware of how she's acting like she can't breathe without you being in the same room as her but when pointed out by you, she usually apologizes.

physically affectionate, too physically affectionate. so much so that she comes off as smothering.

unlike miranda, she can still grow and change as a person so you have hope…?

"mia, this isn't right." you pushed her away slightly. she was getting too comfortable in your personal space. it was supposed to be the only thing she'll never get a hand on but she managed to do so in the end too.

she already took too much from your life. your friends, your co-workers, your favorite florist from the subway, your bed, your house, oh the list goes on forever.

the most outrageous fact was that you were the one who actually let her do whatever she wanted. now look where that got you.

"what makes you say that?"

there it is.

her frown, something she knows you can't stand seeing.

"i thought you knew i'm only doing this because i love you?"

"it's just…" you bit the inside of your cheek, "it feels... wrong."

"tell me more about it, maybe I can help you understand how I see you," she suggested, but when you looked at her dull eyes and warm smile, you could hear something on the back of your mind telling you not to push it.

you sighed, opening your arms for her to bury herself in again.

"changed your mind?" she cooed.

"forget I said anything, mia."

‎

‎

[wheredafandomat]

For Better or For Worse

Chapter 1 Next Chapter Series masterlist

Loki x female reader

18+ | this fic will contain adult themes, smut, swearing, angst - I’ll continue to update. Please be aware that there may be triggering themes in future e.g. loss of child. Please do not proceed if you may be triggered.

“Well bloody get on with it.” Loki cursed, his voice echoing through the grand room as he ran his fingers through his hair. There were few things Loki disliked, one of them being having to spend time with his family, more so his brother considering that now he’d never have to see his his father again. Gently patting Lokis shoulder, Rose looked pointedly at Miss Walters who was yet to open the sealed document sitting in front of her.

“Apologies but I’m just waiting for one more person.” She answered, Lokis brows furrowing in confusion as she spoke.

“One more person? What? We’re all the old fools ever known.” Loki scoffed.

“Loki.” Frigga interjected.

“Have I lied?” Loki shrugged.

“Loki.” Thor spoke warningly as Loki continued to ramble.

“Unfortunately I cannot begin as there is another name here.” Miss Walters cut in, the room falling silent.

“Who’s?” Loki ventured.

“Oh apologies for my tardiness.” You spoke, sauntering into the room as Loki stiffened, his jaw clenching.

“Oh you’ve got to be joking.” He murmured.

“Thank you Miss Walters” you smiled at the solicitor before turning to Frigga and making your way to her “Frigga” you beamed, kissing each others cheeks before your attention was stolen by Thor standing to his feet with open arms. Practically running, you jumped into his embrace before kissing his cheek, unaware of Lokis glaring. “Thorr.” You grinned as he put you down before you finally, finally acknowledged Loki. “Loki” you spoke venomously as if the name burned to recall “and you must be his new bed warmer.” You smiled at the woman sitting next to him.

“Excuse me?” Loki spoke for her.

“I’m joking, it’s all in jest” you lied, holding your hand out to her “lovely to meet you.”

“And you are?” She questioned, looking you up and down.

“No one.” Loki answered for you at the same time as you said “his wife. Well, ex wife” you explained “we didn’t quite work out, you see, Loki has a little problem in the bedroom department and he just left me completely unsatisfied and then there’s the greasy hair and the—”

“Alright that’s enough” Loki cut in harshly before quieting his tone “my mothers present y/n and that was one time, only the once.”

“Apologies.” You smiled curtly before taking your seat for the reading of the Will.

You mainly focused on your new manicure as the Will was read considering you didn’t nor were you expecting to hear your name. You assumed anything you would have been left was taken out after the divorce, although, that wouldn’t explain why your name was still there. You focused harder on your nails as Lokis apparent girlfriend rubbed his shoulder reassuringly, occasionally pecking his cheek whenever another asset was left to Thor. You kept trying to keep focus on the expensive art decorating your nails but your eyes kept venturing to Loki. You didn’t know what to expect considering you hadn’t seen him in well over a year but it wasn’t this. He looked eerily the same, it hurt even more that he did. Last night you found yourself almost praying that he looked different, maybe shorter hair, maybe his style had changed, maybe he just carried himself differently but no, no, this was the same Loki, the one you fell in love with, the one you married, the one you lost.

“My final asset, being my estate, is to be left to y/n y/l/n.” Miss Walters read, instantly catching your attention as your eyes flew up to hers.

“W-what?” Loki questioned, outraged as he stood to his feet before turning towards Frigga and Thor. “Mother? Surely he couldn’t have made that Will with sound mind, there must be a way to contest it.” He insisted.

“I’m afraid not.” Miss Walters answered for Frigga.

“This must be a mistake, she” Loki began, pointing at you “she has no claim to this house or this family for that matter.” He continued to argue, mostly to himself as you mouthed a wow before rolling your eyes, trying to hide your own shock. This was the last thing you expected.

After a while, Miss Walters began packing her things to leave whilst you stood and made your way to Frigga who was being very quiet considering everyone else present were all speaking. Pulling up a chair next to her, you reached into your bag.

“I know it’s nothing” you began, handing her a velvet box which she took gratefully, recognising the design before you hugged her properly. “but I thought you’d want it.” You spoke into her shoulder.

“Thank you dear.” She sniffled.

“I am so, so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”

“You’re here now. I’ve missed you.” She answered.

“I’ve missed you too.” You agreed. “And Frigga, I don’t plan on selling the estate, don’t feel you need to leave you can stay here.”

“She’s a bitch.” Rose chimed in as Loki watched your interaction with Frigga.

“Mhm.” He hummed in reply, unable to look away from you.

“Let’s go Loki.” Rose insisted, standing infront of him and blocking his view of you.

Once everyone had dispersed, you took it upon yourself to venture up to the east wing where you used to be when you were with Loki. You were unsure how it looked now and whether or not it had changed. You walked up the stairs, each step reminding you of a different memory before you turned down the hallway to the east wing. You smiled as you saw your old bedroom door, a little bit of paint scratched off near the top from when you banged a piece of furniture against it when you moved in. You opened the door, eyes scanning the room as you gasped a little, surprised that it practically looked untouched, the ghost of your memories still haunting the place. You stepped inside, fingers running over the dusty dressing table as your eyes continued scanning the room. When they landed on a photo album, you picked it up before taking your seat on the bed and flicking through the pages. Pictures of you and Loki filled each page almost bringing a tear to your eye as you ran your thumb over one of the glossy pieces of paper. You both looked so happy, you don’t remember the last time you were happy, truly happy.

You’re not sure when you laid down or when your eyes fell closed but the last thing you remembered was sitting on the same bed as you begged Loki not to go, not to leave and the heartbreak and betrayal that followed when he did go. Some memories were better left forgotten.

This gif has nothing to do with the fic it’s just funny to me 😂 - let me know what you’re thinkinggg, I’ve got a couple ideas for some fics so I think I’ll write some first chapters then whichever one gains a lil traction I’ll continue instead of just boring you all with something self indulgent 😂💓

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