#like fuck what they did to Davekat man

[davekat-sucks]

lute x adam is better than davekat and chaggie. they both sound killer singing together.

also just like wish's "villain", I find no fault in adam's reasoning, sinners such as rapists and pedos should be eradicated. i dont give a fuck about how apparently there are random kids in hell to emotionally manipulate the audience, for all we know that could be a grown ass man pretending to be a kid, and maybe that could have been more interesting: to see a hell's citizen take advantage of vaggie's kindness. it'd explain her trust issues & lute's bizarre reaction to actual mercy.

whats up with modern shows/films these days and their weird morals...

Adam x Lute is better than Davekat and Chaggie. Funny enough, Vivziepop confirmed that pedophiles, Nazis, and racists are already wiped out after they died. Like, human pedophiles/Nazis/racists who die, don't go to hell, limbo, purgatory, or heaven. They just get erased from existence. Angels have nothing to do with it. The Hazbin/Helluva universe already does its work. Of course, imps and hellborn creatures like hellhounds or the Sin ringleaders, can still be pedophiles, Nazis, and racists. But they are exempt from extermination. So the only sinners that do get sent to Hell to just do the same old shit would be murderers, con artists, human traffickers, rapists, and those who commit slavery, are still around. Which makes me question where does child murderers or those who lead child human trafficking and slavery fall in. Do they get wiped out from existence too if they didn't touch the child in that way? Do they get wiped out from existence for harming a young soul? Or do they get straight sent to Hell because murder is bad, regardless of age? Probably doesn't help that Heaven already admitted they don't know the requirements of people getting into Heaven, so it's a mystery on who is even checking since apparently at this point, even innocent souls who likely died of accident or bad circumstances, get sent to Hell regardless. It probably will be answered later on by some bullshit means, but it raises more questions on when in point did that become a thing. People pointed out that Angel Dust's sister, MOLLY, is there. What point in time Heaven allowed others to get in before it all changed with the extermination? Does even something small as when you were a kid stealing from the cookie jar, count as a major sin to be sent straight to Hell and that's why the child is sent in? Who the fuck knows. Maybe it will get answered in finale. Maybe they will hold it off for season 2 since it is confirmed and they are already recording the lines as we speak. I think the reason for these weird morals in recent modern media, just only goes for the straight black-white mortality, but hide it differently in these recent times as an act of justice that we won't make the same mistakes like we did in the past. Unfortunately, they are but are too ignorant to see it. Also in the case of how Hazbin Hotel is presenting with its rushed pacing, people, audiences and creators, would rather get to the heart of the matter fast and immediately than to build it up on how to get there. Why the fuck should we know about Camille and her backstory when all that matters is that she is a protective mother and that's it? No need to build up sustenance, all it matters is just the emotional factor to pull at your heartstrings for one moment like a quick sugar rush. No need to show the slow burn romance of why Vaggie likes Charlie. All it matters that she is now cute lesbians with her and its a good rep for LGBT. TL;DR of that is people are impatient.

[hms-no-fun]

where did the inspiration for cat!dave come from. i love it btw, im just curious where it came from

catdave, like a lot of stuff in the gf3 prologue, just sort of happened. it's one of those things where in writing that chapter, jade grabbed a button that did a thing as a way to keep their villain-narrator honeypot from collapsing, and i decided to roll with it. turning dave into a house cat seemed like a fun gag, especially considering awkweet purrmusk and davepeta and all that. karkat picking up catdave with horror and protectiveness was really funny to me, just like NO HE'S MY BOYFRIEND YOU LEAVE MY SPECIAL MAN ALONE. then i thought, wait, what if a cat had time-distortion powers. what if catdave was like, i'm the hottest fucken kitty that ever did strut, i'ma slow down time and make everyone admire me. that joke alone was enough to keep catdave in, and i figured okay, we'll roll with this for a minute and then reverse it at the end and it'll be a funny anecdote. "hey remember that time dave turned into a cat?"

but unfortunately for dave, this is godfeels. i can't ever just do a fun joke about transformation. if we're gonna accept that jade has a button that can turn people into the animal they secretly want to be, that's gotta have CONSEQUENCES. what is this, fucking rick & morty??? there will be no resetting to the status quo at the end of THIS episode thank you very much!

of course by the time i got to publishing that first catdave chapter i'd figured all this out. dave's sort of defined by his repression and embarrassment at himself and his wants. i've imagined him sticking to his "i don't want to be a hero" thing very closely, and with that just kinda chilling with karkat all the time. (oh there's actually a funny pseudo-continuity error related to this-- in gf1 someone mentions what makes dave and karkat such a good couple. i'd imagined then that davekat were absolutely a totally out gay together couple. then the epilogues said actually no they were still too repressed to actually DO anything, and i decided to lean into that because two incredibly gay men no-homoing together for seven years is really funny/tragic to me from a story perspective. and since i decided to make gf2 parallel the epilogues, it seemed appropriate to fold that back in. i think in gf2 this gets papered over with june being surprised that they hadn't kissed yet? but that's def a thing that changed between fics from my perspective lmao)

so it seemed to me that catdave was a minor analogue to trickster mode- an unexpected jump straight to Personal Apotheosis without the journey necessary to give it any meaning. and that quickly mapped onto the problem of out queer people treating obvious eggs like their own Pet Project, pressuring them and pushing their boundaries even when it IS to some extent what they want. so dave keeps his cat ears and tail because he's a closeted furry with Some Gender, but because his friends all thought the transformation was funny and cute the end result was actually pushing him even further back into the closet. and since i knew that we were aiming towards davekat divorce fever anyway, that felt like the *perfect* dramatic intervention on his character. this is the hardest part of building an ensemble cast drama; giving everyone something Clear and Concise to deal with that can stand in for all their problems, so we can cut right to the chase when necessary.

this process is, in microcosm, the fundamental backbone of godfeels. it's about taking deadly seriously the personal and existential ramifications of extraordinarily silly impossible bullshit.

[litalana]

Violets aren't Blue

“Why are you talking to me? I’m being an asshole on purpose, you know.” “I don’t think anyone is capable of overlooking how much of an asshole you are, rest assured.” Dave begins walking. Karkat follows beside him. “It’s not complicated, man. I just saw this grumpy ass troll going to school in Houston fucking Texas – it was like seeing moth man at the local mall.” “…. What?” “You know. Texas. Notorious for being the brightest and hottest fucking oven in the south. It’s not exactly the zion of troll paradise. It is the zion of evangelism, though. Most people don’t give a shit about trolls these days, but if anyone still did they’d definitely live here. Or, like, Kentucky, probably.” “… What the fuck is mothman?” 

—

AU where Feferi is empress and troll refugees are sent to Earth to escape the turmoil of a species undergoing social reform. Karkat is one of said refugees, and tragically, that means he has to deal with human high school, which is only marginally better than being killed on his home planet.

Davekat high school troll/human society AU fanfic that I promised I'd post months ago??

Read on Ao3

[rubsjuice]

The Mayor Rant

no need to say it twice my friend

This is my unadultered rant on the character of Wayward Vagabond, The Mayor, and how he was robbed by everyone who ever had creative control over him

Okay, so let me start with a simple "Who is WV". WV, the Mayor. He was a simple farmer in Skaia, he's seen the horrific consequences of monarchy and war and he thinks he and his friends could do a better job at organizing society. He has a very black and white (pun intended) way of thinking and he often punishes himself for silly thoughts. Remember when he calls himself stupid over and over and hits himself over the head for thinking of a silly thing to do?

Over the course of homestuck, he develops a set of traits that we can very easily consider PTSD after he sees Jack Noir slaughter countless brothers-in-arms without regard for shell color, shape or alignment; he has night terrors about it, and very specifically about becoming just the same if he ever puts the ring of whatever four-fold to transform into a powerful beast to hunt down Jack Noir for it. He's afraid of becoming just the same as the people he swore to destroy, and this is so. important. for his characterization. He's a kind, gentle, and stern leader who isn't afraid of gathering troops or guerilla fighting of course, but he shies away from mindless violence and death, and he'd rather not send troops to be slaughtered like they're nothing. This is the Mayor. A man with simple roots, a dream, and overwhelming trauma.

(ngl same)

So what did Hussie do with this incredible backstory and development, a couple thousand pages down the line? When WV was stuck in the meteor with a bunch of teenagers and confused out of his fucking mind?

He turned him into davekat's little pet

Like seriously the flaunderization of WV is something no other character experiences in the entirety of the webomic, how the fuck do you go from "revolutionary democratic leader" to "two teen's bug puppy"? Dave flat out talks to and about WV as if he was a pet, or at the very least a creature with less sapience than he does

Karkat sorta has a conversation with him? But it's mostly framed as a joke, so the narrative wasn't treating him seriously anyway

That's a really big problem, because if the narrative doesn't treat him like a person, the fans don't have any incentive to do so either. I've seen more fanart that treats him like he's an irrational animal than I've seen art treating him as the real complex character that he is. I've seen humanstuck AU fanfics that write him as davekat's old golden retriever. I can tell whether an artist treats WV seriously or not by looking at how they draw him (it's always something in the eyes). Paired with the fact that a lot of his "silly behaviors" are either symptoms of mental illness or externalizations of neurodivergence, it all gives me a very sour taste in my mouth.

After all that and Collide, WV gets his happy ending, building a town and community in Earth C

Or did he?

I present to you: the credits

In which is established the existence of a, and I quote "carapacian kingdom" in Earth C

Based on my exposé you probably figured out that WV would be at the very least be reticent about naming anything in the new world a "kingdom" even if post-canon implies it's not actually a kingdom, what matters here is the presentation; as someone who believes strongly in the representative democratic system, the way things are worded would be incredibly important to WV, so why would they think that's acceptable at all for him?

The credits showing Callie and Roxy as like the leaders also boiled my blood a little bit because of how chess racist roxy is i mean really those guys raised her from infancy and she thinks they're lesser than her, never bothered to learn their language and thinks they're helpless without her bringing them pumpkins like ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

All that just left me with the unwishful thinking that Earth C was a paradise for trolls and humans but if you weren't one or the other you were treated with indifference because you were just "a silly salamander" or "a little chess guy"

And I know that the epilogues and Homestuck 2 explicitly made the credits not canon, but they follow the same baselines and the same attitude about the aliens that we can call "game constructs", so really how non-canon could it be

I was blissfully thinking about ways to explore that when the bonus updates dropped, and in one of them there's a long block of purple prose basically outlining the authors' perfect democratic system (which kind of really sucks if you know anything about politics besides twitter buzz words but that's besides the point) and attributing that "marvelous feat of democracy" to WV as if he would ever think separating representation by race was a good idea

He's been part of a race war before! he knows how things like that start!!

And in the end they even write some bullshit about WV thinking "ooooh maybe it won't work out i'm scared of it happening oooo" because deep down they know they're full of shit and they know this is a disservice to the character but they don't care about it enough to make something decent. He might be a simple farmer but he's not incompetent

Anyway, this doesn't really matter at all anymore because of intricate twitter drama i don't have time nor energy to type out, i'm just really really passionate about this guy

This was WV, he lived, he served cunt, died twice and was grossly mischaracterized in two completely different directions by anyone who had any creative liberty over him

[callmearcturus]

God I miss when Homestuck was relatively new and nobody had a real idea of the "ships" yet. People were writing really cool ass fanfics and pulling the craziest shit out of their asses it was a creative time to be alive.

I bring this up occasionally and people have relatively said "Davekat is canon" or whatever but like okay your right but this is fanfiction you can do whatever the fuck you want god forbid Dave and Karkat don't kiss.

I adore pet stuck in all it's many weird forms. It blew the fuck up. From aquariumstuck to Ugly free unwanted troll.

I am not dissing DaveKat. I am not dissing Dirkjake or Rosemary but I am saying most pick when writing anything anymore pick the 'safest option' to build upon.

Remember when sad stuck was super big and the pieces that were written could have actual emotional consequences or unhappy endings. I love a cheesy happy go lucky story as much as the rest of the world but it's fucking refreshing to see shit not work out and people paying steep prices for their actions.

Maybe it's just me but fuck I keep seeing the same shit. I miss it when people went nuts and tried things.

..... did you mean to send this to someone else or

No, I don't remember when sadstuck was a thing, I started reading HS the day it ended. I've never read the fics you're referencing. I'm kind of in my corner doing my own thing, which I will note includes a lot of davekat and dirkjake and rosemary, so i don't know what to tell you.

Except that in my experience, the only way to get people to do more content that you want is to encourage it. Look at me, hyping Spooky Jake Autumn. I'm not going "aw man it sucks how ppl usually write jake, i want them to do it the way I want" both because uh I dunno how ppl usually write Jake but mainly because I know encouragement and enthusiasm is how you get more fun content.

Which, I say about me cheering on other people, but is very true of me. I would not write these bonkers 50K-200K stories without people encouraging me and being enthusiastic.

IDK anon, maybe take this up with someone who knows what you're talking about. Public complaining has never once produced new art or fic. When I gotta vent about shit, I keep that fucking private.

Also like. I'm trying not to take offense at any of this bc you seem really in your feelings, but hey, fuck you for "safest option." It's the thing I wanna fucking write.

Also also, sorry. Coming to me about people not going nuts and trying things. Dude. What. Hi? I'm Arc? /baffled

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #18: the prologue (briefly) and meat p1

----brief context----

i sorta fell out of homestuck a little after i finished it and its november now but in light of james roach reviving homestuck beyond canon i figured i might as well get the ball rolling on this. i originally started this post in september but i couldnt find it in myself to continue reading due to not liking where the story was going and also finding myself having a new hyperfixation

----end of context----

september 7th:

okay im gonna make a rule that this shit show thats about to happen is NOT CANON to me and in my head they won and then they created earth c and they all lived happily without any of this inane bullshit thats coming up.

ok to start off look at these fucking tags dude oh my god this is gonna be so BAD man what the FUCK did they do to these characters

theres no art which actually sucks! but with these tags maybe its good they didnt show this in images. instead they just describe it in excruciating detail. anyway, here's the first character interaction in here.... they both feel different. even in this brief exchange, something feels... off. maybe its just cause theyre older but they feel distinctly more... angsty? maybe they just seem sad. i dunno. homestuck has its sad moments but for the most part the characters arent like. sad people

/rolls eyes yeah i like the reference but not in this context...

ok so rose just explained what john has to do which is go back into canon and defeat lord english but.... this is really fucked up man . she knows

meat or candy.... fuck which one should i read first.... do i wanna be sad sooner or sad later ... MAN the epilogues SUCK!!!!! FUCK

um okay this is really gross. what is the point of this?? like EW john what the fuck

ok this is fine i guess i mean i like davekat

i guess i also like how he still has this weird obsession with obama

november 10th:

im back . but i think updates to this series will be slower. i need to ease myself back into it yknow? also. if i hadnt made it clear. i DO NOT LIKE the epilogues. especially because homestuck proper is my FAVORITE MEDIA OF ALL TIME. seeing the characters i love ruined like this in what is the most official capacity it could be in is.... just. sad to me. anyway. dave predicts the future about obama . cool.

yeah i do too man. cant have shit around here

yeah like. what even is this plot. jane has become this evil xenophobic cartoon ass villain. and everyones just like. damn thats crazy that shes just like that now. i also dont even understand WHY she wants to be president of earth c. like literally everyone else is just chilling. god whatever

brother he is not coming back

also, this has nothing to do with the epilogues per se. but at the time of writing this tomorrow will be 11/11. i am a little bit expecting a homestuck beyond canon updateeee hehehe . also burning down the house which is a really really good homestuck fan comic is supposed to update too. so awesome. hopefully both of those things happen. or even like. just one. anyway back to this slop

casual dave xenophobia classic dave you know how it is he would definitely be like this for real i believe this

man this would be so cool if it was like. drawn. i wish i could see it instead of having to envision it in my minds eye. not that i dont appreciate my minds eye for what she has to offer me but. imagine this what this panel would look like

noooooo FUCK

stares at you furiously judgementally

okay both of them most likely dont know shit about shit and neither do i but dave at least grew up in a time where there were people around and things happening and dirk thinks he knows everything but he actually doesnt know anything so i wouldnt trust him on fiscal policy

fym nuh uh

average teen roxy adult john interaction

literally down ontologically at this point

blah blah blah ultimate self blah blah evil arc WHO CARES. im bored. can i say that. i seriously D. GAF about dirk rn. monkey d. gaf

bro i fucking HATE JANE. LIKE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW

i dont have much to say about this i just thought it was worth putting here

nah. cause what the hell are you talking about girl. hello. why is she so horny. ong bro u gotta relax

okay well. this is pretty funny . hes dave and im karkat and we are the denial brothers

youre so intolerable is crazy. like hes trying to help you because you are bleeding tf out girl

wow. jane jake kiss. this rules. SAID NO ONE EVER. jake is asexual. jane is a nazi. and I. AM TIRED. OF THIS!!!!!!! I DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING .

wait fuck

marvel ass dialogue

NOOOO WHAT THE FUCK

okay this is the end of the first epilogues post. initial thoughts i dont like it why did i do this i dont wanna do it. but you know what they say in order to ascend first you must descend. little homestuck reference for you all. um idk when the next post will be im sorta busier than i used to be. and also? this sucks i dont like reading it

[sammygender]

things about homestuck i have discovered in my reread

terezi is my favourite character and will always be

caliborn is fucking HILARIOUS jesus christ somehow i forgot this (he hasnt got to the misogyny yet that part gets kind of less funny)

dave and karkat kind of ARE that good, regrettably. i feel like we all go through a davekat phase upon first reading and then gradually we get over dave and karkat and move onto other, better pursuits, like vrisrezi fanfiction or space player meta. rereading tho man they are excellent… not the most compelling characters of COURSE and really more like babys first analysis in terms of dissecting them, but man they are funny, man their emotional arcs are vivid and well written, man they are hilarious together also (penis ouija. yeah that was funny). coming out as a dave and karkat fan once again

homestuck in general but especially the start of act 6 is INCREDIBLY funny. for some reason i thought act 6 was less funny and more like plot-heavy which i guess it kind of us to an extent cause most of it is now Relevant all the time but oh my god the alpha kids are a trainwreck and its so funny

on the subject of the alpha kids. last time i properly read homestuck i was like 14. i had never experienced being the same age of the alpha kids and now looking back its insane. that is LITERALLY what being 15/16 is like. the romantic chaos the constant miscommunication the way this group of best friends just somehow have so many fucking problems with each other??? and the COMPLEXES. my god

appreciating roxy more this time round than i ever did before she rubbed me a little the wrong way first read i think maybe bc everyone heralded her as like The Unproblematic Alpha Kid when like oh my god she is a fucking MESS but when looking at her through that lens shes fantastic

jade harley should be mean more often. every PASSWORD FUCKASS interaction was an absolute delight. man she should get more page time

vriska is indefensible when u first meet her its so hard explaining to people that shes like The Fucking Best when she spends most of her intro mocking the guy she paralysed for being paralysed. sadly, she still IS the fucking best.

did i mention terezi pyrope is my favourite character ever in anything

i still cant pay attention to anything exile related i'm sorry. i just look at the pretty pictures and skip through it quickly as possible. if they dont have complex psychology and fun conversations idc sorry im a bad hs fan

calliope is both a delight and so wrong like all of the time. reading her i see where all the fandom misconceptions come from. ur not meant to take her word as 100% serious when she says stuff like male/female classes or whatever!! she sees everything through this incredibly binary 2 choice lens like caliborn bc thats literally the life she lives. this is also extra funny i guess considering shes literally kind of meant to represent the hs fandom

LIL HAL <33333333

sorry that so much of this is about the alpha kids im part way into act 6 now

dirkjake so far have not had a single interaction and iirc they never do??? fascinating storytelling since we still have a perfect picture of their dynamic

terezi is characteristically being stupid about vriska again, because she is complicatedly and unwittingly in love with her

DAVEREZI FOR THE FUCKING WIN MY GOD. THEYD NEVER WORK ENDGAME BUT THEY ARE SO FUNNY TOGETHER LITERALLY BFFS. no romance tho just vibes

does rose get confirmed as a lesbian later in the text or is that just a fandom interpretation cause ngl i have seen people harassed over bi rose which is kinda crazy anyway but would be even crazier if its not. an actual canon fact

LE SIGN IS UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED TO MEAN TOO BAD HES GAY YOU OBTUSE DUNDERFUCK from roxy compared to poor dirk calling the word gay antediluvian. man just wants to like jake in peace

honestly everything alpha kid wise is insane lets just. put it there

I MISS VRISKA

terezi is my favourite also have i said that already

[meeowerzz]

for the ship ask game, davekat and/or dirkjake?

I am very normal about davekat (gripping the desk)

it’s definitely been said by a bunch of other people but they pair together perfectly in their wacky ways and can be open to eachother in way that they couldn’t with anyone else

I don’t personally like how hs^2 went through with them (felt too shallow/whumpy if that makes sense), but although the eps were shitty at least meat davekat felt the same way canon hs felt to me (behavior wise but I don’t want to go into detail ab the eps/hs^2 too much on this lmao)

I’m conflicted ab dirkjake cause on one hand they both have feelings for another and would’ve been a possibly good relationship, both of them also had a shitton of stuff to work through (cough cough mainly dirk) in order for them to be healthy

a big chunk of jake was his whole journey of coming to terms with his bisexuality and poorly attempting to balance out his relationships (while failing miserably to pick up the subtext from them)/his own self (and according to what we saw in the eps/hs^2 dude never truly became his own solid self without knowingly being a pushover)

dirks whole thing is being wrapped up in his own head so much that he villianizes himself and only further cracks his identity and self in the process. dude thinks so much that he ends up beating his emotions into a corner and isolating himself in the process. I’m not even going to go into ep/hs^2 dirk cause that whole thing felt like a horrid mischaracterization (which is upsetting to see from LITERAL CREATORS OF THE CONTENT), but if I did want to expand on them I think dirk just needs to accept that he isn’t a villain and needs to love himself, splinters and all and admit that he makes mistakes

dirkjake didn’t work out cause dirk is an emotional man of subtext and jake didn’t pick up on it (the autism loses in this scenario) and they weren’t geniunely open to eachother in a way that’s needed for a relationship. they’re just both fucked up teenagers that never learned to work it out properly

[toadstool32]

im delirious i just had a GREAT idea this requires having terminal homestuck brain and also liking the idea of batman being fucked up in a funny way. putting this under a read more bc i want u to choose to ruin ur day

ok so like are your familiar with spicyyetis davekat halloween special? well i hope you are now.

ok now are u familiar with bruce wayne? are you familiar of his habit of accidentally acquiring kids left and right and also his perfect mental health?

ok now are you seeing what im seeing

im thinkiong like years in the future like im p sure there was a panel of bruce telling stories to one of his grandchildren like it was very cute right hand on im pulling up the panel

Batman Lost #1 a tie in for dark knights metal

do you see that those are kids , little children running around the manor with an old man bruce just chilling in his murder mystery office, this is the best thing i have ever seen.

so like ideally bruce would have a very happy life retired and with all the rest of the bats taking over in crime fighting n shit and his sons and daughters however many he gets are gonna fill the place with kids eventually bc picking up strays is like, a bat requirement u know, however, im not thinking in a positive way or even a coherent way.

back to YM&O did u see old man dave hoarding kids in a very lonely mansion bc of his fear that the kids are one day gonna be the nly thing that will remind him of the loev of his life or whatever yeah you see where im goin with this.

like i can see it perfectly in my minds eye bruce trying to cope with yknow life and stuff n finally accepting that hes not a one man show and maybe as he gets older hes like alright i gotta, take care of myself? and no matter how much my kids may hate me at times and try to shot me i know they love me and they would be Very Sad if they had to bury me, like , again i mean and so hes like well now im old and trying out this taking care of myself now what and hes like oh i know ill take care of the kids and then at the start dick is like weird but ok better late than never!!! i guess!! but oh wait actuyally sorry old man i cant hang out but u can hang out with timmy and damian ok bye have fun and at this point evryone is like almost thirty and are like trying to subtly get away from bruce bc they were raised independently and also theyre grownups damnit (cass is a treasure so she hangs out but also she knows whats up its chill) and then it expands to the other kids like he starts trying to act as this doting old fatherly figure (hes goin senile its what is HAPPENING) and its not until dick is like haha have u heard jason just got kids following him around thats cute and bruce is like YES THATS IT like he gets hardcore empty nest syndrome except the nest was always kinda full u know? thi pile of leaves and bird shit is gonna overflow,anyway like a few months later dick comes back and theres Horrors tm in Manor bc bruce definition of kid isnt constrained by like, species,(do you think jarro would want more siblings?)

so like the house is packed with kids, all sorts of kids, some arent even kids, some are straight up science experiments and bruce is like I Love My Family :) alfred has been dead for over 30 years and yet bruce finds the way to drag his ghost back to the house so they can coo at the kids together (alfred look at my new daughter isnt she cute yes master bruces shes quite charming what will all the eyes, yes youre right she is) jarro is having fun having siblings but he still tries to win bruces attention , cass is almost encouraging bruce to get more kids (i want a new sister) tim and damian are scared but in different ways jason went there once and said Not My problem (hes also scared) barbara doesnt know the extent of the problem and is just amused the titrans know and dick is the last to know (but only bc i find it funny) if u ask what about duke i dont wanna inflict this hell on him he scaped early amen also the justice league either enables him or is subtly trying to stop him (it is. not working)

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde

Candy, page 11

DAVE: yo john what do you think about me and karkat

JOHN: um...

JOHN: you two are pretty cute together, i guess?

DAVE: together

DAVE: i need you to be way more specific here

JOHN: oh, ok.

JOHN: hmm. i guess i’d have to say that you’re both cute individually when you’re with each other, and you make cute friends, which is why you’re cute together. something about it just works!

JOHN: i feel like i’m saying cute a lot here.

JOHN: for the record, i don’t mean you’re cute as an individual. no offense.

JOHN: alone, you’re just dave.

JOHN: but together, yeah. you guys are cute.

DAVE: together

DAVE: you mean

DAVE: like a couple

JOHN: er... yes.

JOHN: that’s exactly what i mean.

DAVE: why

JOHN: didn’t i just explain it? good friends make good partners!

JOHN: you’re similar in all the right ways, and different in all the even more right ways.

JOHN: you two balance each other out and keep each other from going off the rails, like when you were kids.

DAVE: huh

JOHN: you were both kinda... crazy when we were kids? again, no offense.

DAVE: thats not what i was saying huh about

JOHN: oh.

DAVE: i was saying huh because that sure was a coherent egbertian thesis on the state of the davekat situation

JOHN: well, i’ve thought about it that way for a long time. i think it’s what everyone else thinks too.

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: if id been thinking about it that way i wouldnt be in the mess im in right now

JOHN: you’re in a mess?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: theres a metric fucking ton of shit about to come down on me because i dragged my heels on doing some serious self reflection

JOHN: is this just some more stuff about...

JOHN: being gay?

DAVE: maybe yeah

DAVE: ok definitely yeah

DAVE: its 110% about being gay

JOHN: i thought you’d already worked all that stuff out?

DAVE: turns out it takes a long time to figure out your sexuality after a childhood filled with repression and abuse

JOHN: dave...

DAVE: i mean yeah i woke the hell up to my inner potential for gayness in a big way

DAVE: but then i just kind of pressed the snooze button and rolled back over because we kinda had to fight all those jacks and also create society

JOHN: holy fucking shit.

JOHN: there’s a gay snooze button?

DAVE: yeah man theres a gay snooze button

JOHN: wow.

DAVE: when i was having my gay coolboy awakening it wasnt a full no homo but it was at least a quarter no homo

DAVE: if i hadnt done that then instead of talking to you about this id be at home right now

DAVE: uh

DAVE: kissing karkat probably

JOHN: i don’t get this dave. am i your gay confessor or something?

JOHN: you don’t need my blessing to go kiss karkat. in fact, i was pretty sure you were already kissing karkat!

DAVE: nope

JOHN: in that case, as the lord pope of dave’s fully awakened gaydom i give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible!

JOHN: go now my child, and kiss karkat right on the lips!!!

DAVE: ok as much as i appreciate how weird a thing that was to say

DAVE: its not that simple

JOHN: i might not exactly be the expert, but kissing seems pretty easy, dave.

JOHN: i’m sure it gets more complicated in the later stages obviously, but i think you can figure out how to get your lips on his without much trouble.

DAVE: no i mean like

DAVE: in the greater fabric of our weird incestuous social group

DAVE: it might be the wrong move i think

JOHN: how so?

DAVE: because

DAVE: ...

DAVE: jade

JOHN: right.

JOHN: i almost managed to forget that she was trying to fuck you and karkat.

DAVE: wait you knew about that

JOHN: uh, yeah?

JOHN: did you not?

DAVE: of course i knew about it

DAVE: i was lookin at the whole thing through several complicated layers of conscious denial but i knew

DAVE: its just that you like

DAVE: never leave your house

JOHN: well it probably helps that jade literally said the words to me... and i may be paraphrasing here, but...

JOHN: “hey john, i’m gonna fuck dave and karkat!”

DAVE: wtf she said that to you

DAVE: what did you say

JOHN: i dunno, it was a while ago. probably that it was a bad idea.

JOHN: but i thought it was kinda obvious... she’s always had a crush on you, dave.

DAVE: yeah i know

DAVE: thats why i think that i should

DAVE: give it a try i guess

JOHN: give what a try? dating jade?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: and karkat

JOHN: oh man, dave. i don’t know. that sounds like it could really blow up in your face.

DAVE: yeah thats why im kinda freaking out right now if you didnt notice

JOHN: sorry dude it’s just... do you even like jade?

DAVE: of course i do shes one of my best friends

JOHN: no i meant... do you LIKE-like her?

DAVE: oh my god john youre twenty three years old can you at least pretend to talk like a grown man

JOHN: ok dave, god!

JOHN: are you IN LOVE with jade?

JOHN: ...are you in love with karkat?

DAVE: thats

DAVE: thats a big fucking question

DAVE: thats the biggest fucking question that ever got asked

DAVE: its like the paleolithic megafauna of questions like its so familiar but your eyes just glaze over it in denial because its too fucking big

DAVE: why did megalodon sharks need to have such big jaws john

JOHN: uh... to eat smaller sharks?

DAVE: ive never been so fucking terrified by a question in my entire life

DAVE: seriously my heart is pounding so hard right now that i feel like im gonna hurl

JOHN: well, doesn’t that answer the question?

DAVE: nah because

DAVE: because its not like i feel nothing for jade

DAVE: in fact i feel a whole lot of things for her

DAVE: too many to just tell her off after all this time

DAVE: i mean she spent all those years alone on the ship and i know she missed me

DAVE: and then davesprite died

DAVE: or turned into fucking davepeta i was never clear exactly on what happened there

DAVE: and god knows he didnt make any attempt to clear the fucking air with her

DAVE: but when i think about it neither did i

DAVE: so maybe im just a huge asshole whos been leading her on for like a whole goddamn decade at this point

DAVE: and if i have been dont i owe it to her to at least try

JOHN: if that’s your logic dave, then haven’t you been leading karkat on too?

JOHN: doesn’t he deserve the same chance?

JOHN: i mean, if you think it’s the kind of decision you can lay on another person like this...

JOHN: why don’t you just flip a coin?

DAVE: ...

DAVE: have you been talking to terezi

JOHN: um...

DAVE: damn i thought she ghosted everyone

JOHN: not me... i guess?

DAVE: huh

DAVE: anyway

DAVE: i know you thought that sounded like a totally cool thing to say but i dont really think you grasp the full metaphysical implications of whatever youre quoting there

DAVE: do you know what a coin flip is

DAVE: like universally i mean in the grand scale of all this time space infinite string theory bullshit were always dealing with

JOHN: of course!

JOHN: it’s like when you know that you’ve already made a decision you’re reluctant about, and need an outside force to show you how you really feel?

DAVE: no dude thats dumb

DAVE: you should know this cause youve done the retcon thing

JOHN: what does that have to do with flipping coins?

DAVE: ok so every time you flip a coin youre creating an alternate timeline right

DAVE: one where it lands heads and one where it lands tails

DAVE: but while the coin is flipping both possibilities exist simultaneously

JOHN: but what if you knew for sure that you’d make the same decision no matter which side landed up?

DAVE: you cant

JOHN: so... it’s like the coin never lands then?

DAVE: sure

JOHN: then if you dated *both* jade and karkat it’d be like you’re winning the schrodinger’s cat paradox.

DAVE: uh yeah thats another theoretical paradox that i think you gotta read up on a bit more there buddy

JOHN: i probably won’t, but ok.

DAVE: fair enough

DAVE: but yes metaphysics aside me dating both jade and karkat at the same time literally is the issue at hand and it is that with which i currently and explicitly struggle

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: sure seems that way.

DAVE: so...

JOHN: i dunno, dave.

JOHN: this all just... it doesn’t sound *right* to me.

JOHN: i mean... it doesn’t sound...

JOHN: *canon*?

DAVE: ugh not you too

DAVE: rose is always going on about canon

DAVE: i dont give a fuck about canon

JOHN: then what DO you give a fuck about?

DAVE: doing the right thing

DAVE: i guess

JOHN: this doesn’t seem hard to me at all, dave!

JOHN: go home right now and tell karkat how you feel.

DAVE: look i

DAVE: i cant

DAVE: if i did that it would be like

DAVE: like

JOHN: like what, dave? like you would be really happy, and karkat would also be really happy?

DAVE: ugh im not explaining myself right i need to

DAVE: i have to... talk to dirk i think

JOHN: uh, ok?

JOHN: what’s up?

ROXY: yo boys not to interrupt but we got kicked outta the restaurant for not ordering

JOHN: what? really?

JOHN: what’s even the point of being famous if that can happen?

ROXY: lmao i know right

ROXY: told u i wasnt classy enough for the joint

ROXY: i got all these breadsticks tho so we can reconvene in the park

ROXY: totes romantic

ROXY: ten minutes, what u say

JOHN: uh, sounds good! i’ll see you there soon!

JOHN: i’m... sorry i couldn’t help.

DAVE: nah dude its not your fault

DAVE: enjoy your date

[magnichant]

I posted 1,274 times in 2022

That's 1,268 more posts than 2021!

89 posts created (7%)

1,185 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@solid-no-on-that-one

@theobot

@queen-evanlyn

@dracomysthical

@elias-the-alien

I tagged 237 of my posts in 2022

#homestuck - 38 posts

#magnichart - 35 posts

#davekat - 22 posts

#theobot - 17 posts

#dave strider - 13 posts

#karkat vantas - 10 posts

#davekatweek - 7 posts

#dirk strider - 7 posts

#davekatweek2022 - 7 posts

#cherp - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#i think the most obscure thing i ever looked up for a fanwork was specific information regarding anesthesia used on horses for surgery

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

GT: Did you want to be next mr strider?

spooky jake autumn

im still trying to figure out what this man looks like and i dont color much anymore but hey you know here we go

why do i always post these in the middle of the night lol

81 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#4

what is this outfitok @theobot i made his sleeves wider but please enjoy this strider flirting with karkat from The Worst Goddamn Movies Ever Made 

if yall havent read it yet you really should it’s some of the best davekat writing ive ever laid eyes on

strider is a wretched bastard and i love him more than life itself

91 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#3

😏😜🤐😍😎

this is normal unaffiliated homestuck fanart

edit: just kidding i tricked you all it was The Worst Goddamn Movies Ever Fucking Made spoilers

100 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

#2

hey dude

sorry i havent been by i guess i just uh

well anyway i hope you dont mind i borrowed your uh

how is

fuck

this is such shit

we all knew the immortality thing was a real kick in the teeth but it just 

i feel like you should have had it too

at least then we would have been stuck here together right

karkat

i hope that wherever you are

youre not missing me like i miss you

@davekatweek

day 3: sadstuck

122 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I made an attempt, at least

131 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[davekat-sucks]

weedpoop: definitely, i hate most homestuck ships if im being honest and tbh i dont keep up on the new content so there are probably perfectly valid reasons to dislike davekat. i just find the concept of spending my valuable and limited time on this earth being a hater kinda wild and sad but if it brings you joy then honestly dope, maybe just dont put it in the davekat tags though? then people who enjoy the ship see it and comment shit like i just did weedpoop: please feel free man i can help: i like pineapple on pizza. what the fuck

Sitting on your ass scrolling down on tumblr/twitter all day and being obnoxious on the replies of a blog you dont like isn't spending your precious free time wisely, dude

So how about instead you read a stand up comedy book instead to come up with better comebacks and get a new sense of humor that isnt so obviously influenced from being terminally online, maybe then I will take your unwanted "advice" more seriously.

Also, davekat stans shouldn't send death threats and act snotty on everyones inbox if they arent even mature enough to handle a random post on their tag.

Seriously. They could have just ignored this blog and moved on, but instead wasted time responding as much as possible. It's not that hard to use the simple block button. Not only that, but they don't even blame Tumblr's shitty coding since even if I don't tag something as Davekat, my posts will still show up if I mention Davekat through here or Davekat is mentioned within an ask. Self censoring is also bullshit, so no way I wanna do crap like Davek*t or D@vekat. Looks weird.

[russelldworld]

You ever have a ship you really like, but then it becomes cannon and it’s just… the worst possible version of that relationship. Like bottom of the barrel fanfic, written by a young internet addicted teenager trash, except it’s not written by a teenager but by grown ass adults. And it just, kills whatever you liked about the ship, because it basically says the least interesting version of that ship is cannon. So every one copies the shit out of it and now the ships been reduced to this hallow husk of what it was, and you just can’t stand it.

any way this post is about Davekat.

[nekropsii]

Wait no please tell us about your thoughts on fanon rose and kanaya, and any other characters you wanna talk about while ur at it I need someone to shout at the fandom for me until I can make an account /hj

… The concept of people following my blog actively without having an account is astounding. How did you even find me?

Anyways…

Rose and Kanaya aren’t copy-pasted stuffy, classy, boring, loquacious, vaguely-British rich girls. Dirk talks nearly the exact same way as Rose does, but he’s allowed to be funny, lovable, and a main character most likely just because he is a guy.

Rose isn’t going to be a therapist for your fave and their relationship problems. She used fucking armchair Freudian psychology largely as a joke when she was 13 years old. She mostly used it to call her friends gay. (If you’re taking Freudian psychology seriously to begin with, I don’t know what to tell you.)

Kanaya isn’t this well-composed, uber mature, mysterious maternal figure who keeps her cool 24/7. The poor girl is an awkward mess and has social anxiety. Huge autism vibes. She’s petty. She is 13.

Fanon Dave is nowhere close to how Dave acts in canon and at this point DaveKat has been so neutered and yaoified that the characters and dynamic aren’t even recognizable as the source in any way, shape, or form anymore. I don’t know how this happened. What the hell happened there?

On that note, fanon DaveKat has become so far removed from canon that people have largely lost sight of what made their relationship so fun and appealing in the first place. It’s so… Boring now. Their dynamic is peak “boys will be boys,” not a Hallmark movie.

Rosemary is significantly more important to Homestuck than DaveKat ever has been or ever will be. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to tell people this nicely. It’s just facts. This is textual facts. If you think otherwise, you are in desperate need of a reread. Maybe don’t skip Rose and Kanaya’s pesterlogs this time, ok?

Fanon Karkat has no personality outside of Dave. Please let the man have a life and character outside of his implied boyfriend. He’s literally the second coming of Christ. He’s so interesting. Let him exist outside of the context of shipping.

The way fanon has been handling Dirk lately, especially with regards to DirkJake, is dangerously close to the “Stupid Sexy Strider” trope of ye olden days. I’m screaming in agony.

Fanon Cronus is an entirely different character. I don’t know how to tell people that fanon Cronus is just an OC at that point. Just make an OC. You don’t need to make an OC wear the skin of a violently ableist abuser and serial child predator to have fun with it. Just make a fucking OC. What are you doing.

Y’all realize that Mituna isn’t an innocent, sexless, brainless infant, right? You know this guy’s name is a sex ritual, right? You are aware that he is a 19 year old, right? You’re aware of this, yes? You know he’s self aware? Are you aware of this? You know this right? You are aware of the fact that his name is Sex Captor, he has a dick bulge on his sprite, and half of his vocabulary is sex puns, right? You know he isn’t oblivious to the sins of this world, yeah? You do realize he remembers his great act of heroism? Yes? He has a personality and agency and is a person. You know this, right? Are you aware of the fact that he is not a soft innocent squishy little child? He is literally just disabled please be fucking normal.

[whydontwebegin]

i wrote smth ig

fucked around and found out, wrote some words, had some fun, you know how it is. may turn this into a full fic one day but kinda want to see what people think if they want to share opinions. if not, cool, whatevs. some errors here and there bc ive been tired af lately

-homestuck

-davekat, dave & rose doin sibling things tw for implied major character death and abysmal coping mechanisms.

“Dave, you need to rest.”

Dave didn’t even acknowledge the words. His attention was entirely focused on his work, stretching minutes into eternities. The only one who could. Rose had grown familiar with the fractured, jagged edges the dead-ends of doomed timelines look like, over the weeks. She had grown familiar with the way the visual construct of Dave’s work, half for the sake of those who observed and half as a way to keep track of things himself without drifting into something greater where they would struggle to bring him back to his body.

Rose knew how hard it was to stay grounded in one’s greater abilities without something anchoring you. She had lived it.

Red wisps drifted from Dave’s fingers. For a mortal, he was something ethereal, untouchable, an unchanging and unknowable being of overbearing power. The scene before her would be considered something divine. Rose, however, had not been mortal for a very long time, and the man before her was family.

The myths about them, in their time, had long since confused the relationships between gods. The definition of family amidst the pantheon of the Creators had changed in legend.

The reality was the same as it had always been, something terribly mortal and brutally human.

The creeping decay caught Rose’s eye. She had not grown used to the way it darkened a timeline’s continuity, how it made them begin to sag in on themselves before Dave wiped it away. The familiar tick-tock of his power rang in her ears, clockwork clicking into place with each second that passed. She hadn’t always been able to hear it. In the years after the game she’d begun to notice, in Dave’s presence, there was a feeling. Like gears turning in steady, unchanging pace. The ever-continuing march of time itself.

It had become as familiar and soothing as the steady rhythm of a pulse she felt from Dirk’s aura. Even the blank canvas of nothingness that Roxy’s presence offered. Rose didn’t entirely understand it, and she never would, but the words made relative sense nonetheless.

Rose abruptly realized what Dave was watching in the timeline. Over and over again on loop. Her heart ached for him, truly, it did.

She placed her hand on his wrist and saw Karkat in her mind’s eye.

“Dave…”

“I miss him,” he said softly. His voice did not waver and his expression did not change, but Rose knew how much pain he was in.

“I know. I know, Dave.”

The construct flickered and faded away as Rose pulled him into a hug. Dave didn’t hug back, but he leaned into her embrace. Time continued to tick on by, uncaring.

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

Candy davekat getting together would be so unsatisfying and forced and I say that as a davekat shipper

Davebot did Commander Karkat so dirty, it’s genuinely annoying to see people treat Davebot as this helpless victim because of his love triangle situation. Candy Dave, from what was shown and went down, left on his will and wasn’t explicitly manipulated to leave like Rosebot was; and yet, Rosebot gets treated like a heartless bitch that shows no emotion towards Kanaya and Davebot gets characterized to be this mopey robot man that just cannot stop thinking about his one true love that he didn’t even fight for.

This is probably the most hottest and controversial take, but Davebot is such a dick towards Karkat and, honestly, Jade in a way. Candy Jade is this really forceful yaoi girl, yes, I’m definitely not trying to pull an hstwit here and act like Candy Jade was a victim when the whole jumbled situation happened because of her forcing herself in, but Davebot really fucked up on both his relationships with Jade and Karkat by not being truthful to them and just spurring the messy love triangle even more. Davebot isn’t this sweet gay baby who yearns about Candykat as he watches him on TV, his broken connection with Karkat happened because of him, not Jade. Candykat walked out on him too for a reason man.

Candy Dave is literally just the way hstwit wants Dave to be: some infatuated Karkat guy who doesn’t care about girls and lowkey gets called gay. I love Dave with every fiber of my being and he’s literally in my top 3, but holy fuck is hs2 Dave just either a straight girl’s depiction of an mlm character or someone with no spine and would probably roll over if a dog looked at him wrong (but literally all the og hs characters are written this way) It’s like they dumbed him down so bad because the hs2 writers really want all the boy characters to be precious helpless soft boys and the girls to be these awful bitches. Davebot is so hard to feel sympathetic towards because the latter half of it was his fault, and I think he should stay far away from Commander Karkat.