#like he’s not coping well so he just pretends it’s actually awesome

[insanelycooljk]

You mentioned ⚡⚡⚡was the worst for angst so now I Have To Ask

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it  

Ok I definitely only mentioned that because I was hoping someone might ask about it lmao. I’d argue that this is more like... hurt than angst, but it’s gonna be hurt/comfort, so hopefully the sweet moments make up for it. You can expect a lot of soft kleinsen lol.

This one it was like 3am and there was a huge storm outside. I was sitting by my window watching the lightning, I’d just finished reading Trying Through the Trauma and a particular scene was on my mind (if you’ve read it you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t I highly reccomend it because that fic is wonderful, the world-building is INSANE).

So given all of that, plus my apparent desire to just hurt all the characters I love, my brain was like “hey... what if Jared got struck by lightning?”

Which I KNOW sounds absolutely ridiculous and like some kind of crack fic, but just bare with me here ok.

For maximum angst, the fic begins with Jared storming out of Evan’s house after a fight.

I haven’t worked out all of the details of the fight yet, but basically there was an attempt at an apology/discussion of Evan’s letter that didn’t go so well and things got a bit heated.

Jared’s hurt and angry, so he runs away because that’s what he does.

It’s absolutely pissing down, it’s at least a 15/20 minute walk back to his house, but Jared’s a stubborn bastard and he just needs to get out of there.

Evan’s stuck in his head trying to process how the hell that went so badly, because he’s hurt and angry too, but then a particulary loud clap of thunder snaps him out of his thoughts. He’s not sure why the hell Jared walked here instead of drove (it was because he wanted the extra time to try and plan what he was going to say to Evan), but Heidi will kill him if she finds out he just let Jared walk all the way home in this weather.

So he runs outside after Jared to tell him to stop being an idiot and at least just wait until it stops raining so much

And of course Evan catches up with Jared just in time to see him get struck

Evan is just frozen in absolute horror because what the fuck. What the fuck. Who the hell gets struck by lightning!? That just doesn’t happen in real life. What the fuck.

His brain finally catches up to him and he rushes over to Jared who’s just convulsing on the ground.

Evan’s hands are shaking but he manages to call 911. Once the ambulance is on their way he’s just staring helplessly at Jared still seizing on the ground, and all he can think is Jared is going to die and the last thing they did was fight.

Another minute or so passes and Jared’s seizure suddenly ends. Evan’s just holding his breath because he has no idea what he should do. Being a nurse and all, Heidi’s taught him how to do basic CPR incase of emergencies, but Evan’s in such a state of panic that he can’t do anything

And then Jared opens his eyes. It takes a second for the pain to catch up to him, the ringing in his ears is loud and oh fuck everything hurts his whole body is on fire

Evan is freaking the fuck out now that Jared is awake and crying, and he’s desperately trying to comfort him and is begging the ambulance to hurry the fuck up. And god this is so much worse now that Jared’s conscious, because Jared just doesn’t break down. The last time Evan probably saw him cry was when he stacked it on his bike when they were kids (unless you count the unshed tears shining in his eyes during their gfy fight and most recent fight, which Evan is pointedly NOT counting lmao, he can’t deal with that right now)

Anyway, the paramedics finally arrive and give Jared some serious painkillers and take him to the hospital because honestly they’re not really sure what to do either. It’s not like there’s a special “lightning strike survivor” class in the paramedicine curriculum lol. Jared didn’t go into cardiac arrest or anything so that’s a good sign, but he’s obviously in pain and he’s got some really nasty burns that need looking at so he’s clearly not fine.

And of course, for more maximum angst, they take him to the hospital Heidi works at. Because of course they do. Heidi’s had a fairly quiet night at work, or at least as as quiet as it can be working at a hospital. But then she overhears something about a kid who got struck by lightning!? And Heidi is like damn… well that doesn’t happen every day. She’s currently on her break but she’s understandably pretty curious, so she decides she’ll just go see what’s going on.

Which of course leads to her finding an extremely distraught looking Evan who is absolutely drenched, and any other thoughts are gone from her mind instantly.

Evan all but collapses into her arms. She’s holding him tightly as he just sobs and sobs and he’s shivering and so cold and why is he so wet? And obviously Heidi just wants to be there for him but the she’s starting to panic and she needs to know what’s wrong. She pulls away, still holding his shoulders tightly, to look him in the face.

“Evan, honey talk to me. What happened?” And he just manages to choke out “It’s Jared, it’s…. he,” but he can’t get the words out because he keeps being interrupted by his own sobs. And now Heidi is really worried because what happened with Jared? Is he ok? “He…” Evan can’t continue because he just lets out this choked cry and breaks into even harder sobs. Which causes Heidi to promptly pull him close again.

Evan is just, exhausted. Like, he was so tense and upset after the fight with Jared, and then THAT happened, and he’s been doing his best to not completely fall apart so he could explain what happened to the paramedics, but it’s just all so much, and all he wants his mum to hold him and tell him everything’s going to be ok.

“He’s hurt,” Evan says finally once his breathing is bit more under control and he can finally speak again. “He…. there was lightning and, and-”

And Heidi’s heart just stops because she suddenly remembers the boy that supposedly got struck by lightning and she does not like where this is going.

Jared’s mostly ok physically. He’s got some really nasty burns and he’s in a lot of pain, plus the strike was super loud so he’s got some bad tinnitus, but nothing that really needs monitoring. So he’s only in the hospital for a couple of days.

However, the thing with lightning strikes is it can do a lot of weird neurological damage that scientists and doctors don’t really understand yet. So a lot of survivors suffer from things like personality changes, mood swings, memory loss and chronic pain.

So in terms of symptoms for Jared he struggles with chronic pain. It’s not like a low-level constant pain, it’s more episodes where he’s in extreme pain for a short period of time and then it fades away again. He got struck on his shoulder, so the pain flares up on his shoulder and down his arm on that side of his body.

His burns take a while to heal, and whilst his tinnitus gets much better it’s always there to an extent. He’s also got some issues with fatigue, it’s not terrible but he definitely gets tired more easily than he used to.

Jared doesn’t really have any issues with like, personality changes or anything, but the whole experience was pretty tramautic, so his mental health definitely isn’t great right now.

Obviously, Jared’s pretty fucking terrified of thunderstorms now. He pretty much just refuses to leave his house if there’s a storm.

One time he’s driving himself and Evan home from school and it starts raining and he just – refuses to leave the car. There’s not even thunder but the sky is dark and it’s raining pretty heavily and Evan’s all like “It’s ok, come on. It’s two metres. Just take my hand and we’ll run inside together ok?” And poor Jared is having a panic attack, just gasping for air, and he’s shaking his head and saying “I can’t.”

And Evan kinda tries a couple more suggestions to coax him inside, because like they literally just have to walk from the driveway to Evan’s front door. There is a 0% chance that anything would happen in the 5 seconds it would take to get inside, and there isn’t even any thunder, it’s just raining heavily.

Eventually he gives up and they just sit in the car together waiting for the storm to pass. Evan can’t help but think how ironic it is that he’s the one who has to help Jared through his own panic attacks now.

But the main complications Jared struggles with are the cognititve issues. Jared’s always been pretty smart and has done well in school, so he finds it really hard to deal with.

He REALLY struggles with his memory at first. Mainly short-term memory. He’ll do things like make lunch multiple times because he forgot he ate already. He struggles with reading and writing and keeps tripping over his sentences. It all improves a lot over time, but it never quite gets 100% better.

But yeah, that’s kind of the hardest part for Jared because it’s just frustrating and confusing. It causes him a lot of distress because it makes him feel so stupid.

One time when he’s really struggling with it, maybe whilst trying to do work for school, Jared just breaks down about it because he just feels so frustrated. He ends up crying into Evan’s shoulder and going “I just want to be better”

Evan says nothing, because he’s been doing an obsessive amount of research and the truth is Jared might not ever be “better” again, and he doesn’t want to lie to Jared. Well, he certainly wants to, we all know about Evan’s lying issues lmao. He desperately wants to tell Jared comforting lies like “it’s ok” and “there’s nothing wrong with you” and “of course you’ll get better” but he holds his tongue because he knows he can’t lie to Jared, not about this.

ANYWAY ahahaha, I got a little carried away with this one but I’ve got a LOT of feelings about it. It will end up with kleinsen because I couldn’t resist, so on that note I do have just one last point I HAVE to share 🥺

So a lot of people who get struck by lightning end up with these really kind of beautiful looking scars called Lichtenberg figures. They normally only last a day or two (although I did read about one guy where they lasted like a month) but uhh.... I will be taking some artisitic liberities there lmao because imaging Evan gently tracing over Jared’s scars when they finally get together? Good shit.

[spideyyboii]

Friendsmas

pairing: peter parker x platonic reader 

summary: peter knew his friends hated Christmas with their families so what better way to spend it than with his closes friends 

warnings: none

word count: 1.4k 

||main masterlist||peter parker masterlist||christmas masterlist||

Christmas had never been a holiday you enjoyed, your family weren’t very festive and when they did get together to celebrate there was always some form of argument. In recent years you found it harder to cope with the family drama and began to try and find excuses to get out of celebrating with your family.

Your friends were the same and didn’t really enjoy Christmas well except Ned. Peter hated Christmas as it reminded him of the death of both his parents and his uncle Ben, Mj hated the holiday as she believed it was just another way for corporate companies to make money whilst Ned loved the holiday but he pretended to be a Grinch with you guys. “So I was thinking that we could celebrate Friendsmas before we go home for Christmas so we can actually enjoy the holiday for once.” Peter suggested hopeful everyone would agree as he wanted to be able to enjoy the holiday with his friends instead of being upset with May about the lack of family they have. “You know what Peter, I think that’s a good idea but we aren’t having Christmas dinner. None of us are good enough at cooking.” Mj was the first to agree to the idea of celebrating with friends, “I think it would be fun better than listening to the family argue.” You said agreeing to the plan, Ned was the last to agree and so Friendsmas planning began there and then.

Before long the day of Friendsmas rolled around and you were all excited, “So I ordered pizza for us since Mj doesn’t believe any of us are capable of cooking a turkey.” Peter said with a laugh as he knew Mj wasn’t wrong and that none of them would cook a Turkey properly and they'd most likely end up with food poisoning, “Well Peter you’ve outdone yourself the decorations are amazing.” You were shocked that he’d bothered to decorate his dorm with light and a tree, “Well I wanted everyone to enjoy the celebration so I thought why not go all out. Now what do we want to do first? Presents or food?” Peter asked excitement in his tone, “Presents!” Ned exclaimed.

All of you sat on the floor in front of the tree with your presents in front of one another, nervous as to what your friends' reactions would be towards their presents. “So who wants to go first?” You asked hoping someone would volunteer so you weren’t forced to go first, Peter gave in and went first. As he opened each of his presents he couldn’t contain his smile, Ned had bought him a yoda lego set, “Ned this is awesome but it was definitely over our budget which means you're helping me build it.” Peter gave the man a hug, very excited to start building the set. Next was Mjs gift and Peter was nervous as to what the woman would have bought him, “Don’t get too excited. It’s nothing too interesting.” Mj said seeming uninterested but you knew she was actually nervous as to the man’s response to her present, “Mj this is amazing, how long did it take you to make. It looks so realistic. Thank you!” Peter couldn’t believe Mj had done something so sentimental and something that would have taken so much of her time. “Oh my god Mj this is beautiful you captured Peter so well like it’s so unbelievably detailed. How long did this piece of art take you?” You asked, “Not too long, now open the next presents.” Mj demanded annoyed at the attention that was on her, the last present for Peter was from you and you knew he’d enjoy it. “You remembered. May’s going to love this as well thank you.” Peter pulled you in for a hug and was so emotional by the present you had gotten made for him, “How did you even find a photo that had Ben in it?” Peter continued with all his questions, “When we went to see May the other week I snuck a copy of the one photo of him she keeps on display and managed to work my photoshop skills.” You explained. Unknown to you, this was the best gift Peter had ever received. It meant the world to have a photo of himself, aunt May and uncle Ben at his graduations.

Next to open their gifts was Mj as she wanted the attention to be off her as soon as possible. The first present she opened was from you, “How did you even manage to find all of this?” She asked shocked that you had managed to find every ticket, photo and receipt from your friendship, “I kept everything, it means a lot to me. I found you guys during a difficult time in my life and you helped me get through some of the hardest moments. So I kept everything and made it into a photo for you, I know it’s not very interesting but I wanted-” You were cut off during your ramble by the woman throwing herself on you, “Thank you.” Ned gave his present next and it made everyone laugh, “Ned why would you buy me this?” Mj asked between laughs every time she looked at the ‘Spidermans number one fan’ shirt she found herself laughing, “Well you said you were Peter’s biggest fan so I thought why not be Spidermans as well.” The last present she opened was Peter’s and she had a huge smile on her the second she opened the box, “I finally have an unbroken one. I still prefer my ruined one as it means the world to me.” Things had been strange between the pairing recently due to their breakup but they had managed to keep a friendship alive, “Well I thought if I couldn’t give you a complete black Dahlia the first time then you definitely deserved one the second time.”

You opened your presents next excited as you knew your friends were good at giving presents. Whether it was a joke or a sentimental present they were always good, Peter went first and you were beyond excited, “Peter are you serious! You're really going to take me around the city like web swinging and then I get to work with Banner and Stark, Peter you're awesome how did you convince Stark?” You asked, hoping he didn’t put himself in trouble for you, “Don’t worry about it but I’ll be seeing you in January for your first day.”

Next up was Ned who yet again made you laugh, “How are we both meant to be spider man's number one fan? Mj I think we’re going to have to fight for the title.” You said laughing at the look on Peter’s face. “Well you just can’t wear them at the same time.” Ned said proud of his idea. “Right my turn, you're both going to be put to shame.” Mj passed you her present knowing you’d love it, “Mj you know I’m forcing you to come with me and we’re going to have so much fun.” You couldn’t believe she’d gotten you tickets to Disney somewhere you’ve wanted to go since you were a child but your family would never go.

Last up to open presents was Ned who was surprised he had been able to wait so long to open his presents, the first present he ripped open was from Peter “I guess great minds think alike.” Ned said with a laugh at the lego set in front of him that he was looking forward to building with Peter, “Well I guess we’ve got two sets to build. Which is better than one.” Peter said with a smile, the next present he opened was Mj’s which instantly had him in a fit of laughter “No way! We did not have the same idea. I love it Mj, I’m wearing it every time Peter needs help with spidey stuff.” Ned loved the gift which was something so simple it was a white shirt that said ‘man in the chair.’ “Why are you guys so obsessed with me?” Peter asked with a laugh as he was so confused by all these customised shirts that were directed at his secret identity. “Not you, we're obsessed with Spiderman.” You stated matter of factly. The last present Ned opened was from you and he was shocked that you’d spend this much money on him, “You did not! What made you buy me this?” Ned asked shocked about the cost of his present, “Well I thought you needed something to add to your collection and I knew Peter’s was currently better so your welcome.” You said whilst giving your friend a hug.

It’s safe to say that the four of you enjoyed your friendsmas and would be making it a tradition every year so you could make happier memories during the festive season.

[harley-style]

Reading the Homestuck Epilogues 3 (parts 21-30)

Hey guys I'm back on my bullshit! Here's hoping it goes well lol but we all know that's just a pipe dream.

Anyway, here's the previous part!!

Now onto the chaos!

A coffin is still fukcing heavy and you're telling me Jake and John ALONE can carry the fucking thing? omg.

I feel like Roxy is not treating this funeral the rightul respect and somberness it deserves, but is it just me or...?

Aradia and Sollux! and they really don't give a shit about most things dont they. Aradia only came here for the corpse party and honestly, slay

I get heart palpitations when Dave calls Jade babe. also poor karkat he's at the back. noooo

Wait. Is teen dead jade from fucking MEAT??? or is she the one from. uh. the caliborn narrative takeover thing. listen its been a while since i read the later homestuck ok i barely remember what happened in act 6

LOL YES AWKWARD ROSE RIGHTS

Jane. Jane you fucking moron.

Karkat literally do not rise to the bait I am begging

"sometimes i wonder what it'd be like if he was still here" FAMOUS LAST WORDS

SO IT IS MEAT JADE

MOTHERFUCK

please god just let john and terezi be together their dynamic is SO GOOD

oh they're 26 now awesome

OH NO JANE WHAT THE FUCK

okay i know it's bad to blame everything on jane but I HAVE A FEELING SHE'S INVOLVED

WHAT OKAY WHAT THE FUCK

POPULATION CONTROL IS ONE THING BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT NOT ALLOWING TROLLS TO ADVANCE POSITIONS THAT"S BULLSHIT

oh? OH???? RESISTANCE POG????

okay fuck everyone else rebellion leader karkat is my bitch now

why is eridan fuschia is this a typeset error

john you're a moron (affectionate)

:((( what happened to "not taking your shit" roxy :((((

Save Tavros From Evil

yknow what i hate about candy davejade rn is that they keep everything buried and pretend everything's fine. like jade baby at least push dave or pester rose about what's wrong with dave like....?? idk! but not this!!!

okay. what the actual shit jane. yknow what? you're a bitch! you're a full on bitch and i hope you get what's coming to you. what the FUCK am i hearing from you? that is NOT how you treat your friends/datemates!

fuck you guys im reading a bunch of aus to cope wit this mess of an epilogue

okay i love and support whatever john's trying to do but this plan is. not the best.

I just skipped over an entire conversation because i cannot deal with that rn. someone tell me what happened during the time john tries convincing tavros to leave the crocker household

WOW OMINOUS

johnrezi/junerezi rights :((((

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

KARKAT!!!!!!!!!!

Huh. That's a less brutal capital punishment than I was expecting. Still horrifying! but I expected more blood. which was kinda dumb of me lol.

REMEMBER WHEN KARKAT USED OT BE SO EMBARRASSED BY BUCKETS??? MY BOY HAS GROWN

Kanaya Is Right Karkat Call Dave That Bitch Is Dumb Enough To Run To Your Side The Instant You Ask For Him

But Bat Your Pretty Eye For Extra Simping

MEENAH

let's kick it karkat lets goooo

NO THE FISH PUNS ARE COOL

That is a whole ass page of words sir

John :(

"epilogue six" what the fuck does this mean

these kids are thirteen w h a t

ARE KARKAT AND MEENAH TOGETHER????

okay aradia has a point its extremely ironic for karkat to reach the peak of his heroism in a world that objectively *does not fucking matter* and the "meaty" timeline where everything "DOES" matter is where he's... well, we all know.

oh no,,,,the davejade wedding,,,,this hurts.

THIS HURTS DAVE IS STILL LOOKING FOR KARKAT

okay everyone seems to be like, convinced meenah and karkat are a thing but are they REALLY? karkat hasn't come out and said anything specifically.

HE RIPPED HER PHOTO NOOOOOO

lock industry?????

Vriska's back everybody say hello

"is it the prince" IM SORRY WHAT

when WHO falls???

jake what the fuck happened to you. oh my god you don't deserve this. leave her. leave jane's stank ass.

ah. i remember karkat talking about how he wasn't to blame for mr. crocker dying, in hs2. guys id apologize for spoiling myself like this but i think you'd understand: this post-canon thing is pain. everything hurts. if i want spoilers im getting spoilers.

GUYS. NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDNT BUTT YOUR STUPID GODLY SELVES INTO THE MIX. THE FUCK ARE YOU BLAMING THE TROLLS FOR. JANE.

oh boy.

WELP THAT'S PART THREE FOLKS. WOW I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I WISH TO UNFEEL. THE BLOOD OF MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN SACRIFICED TO THE GODS OF PARADOX SPACE AND NEVER AGAIN SHALL I SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.

[breanime]

Bre’s Boys Picture Preference: Boy Dads

Disclaimer: None of these babies belong to me, they are Instagram babies!

(With a surprise Bonus Boy!)

Billy Russo: Billy never, not in a million years, imagined himself with a family--let alone with a child. Especially after his...accident. Every glance in the mirror was a sharp reminder of Billy’s mistakes, of his failings, of the fact that he was a parentless monster that no one could ever love. And then you came. And he fell in love. He was terrified when he learned you were pregnant, terrified of the awesome responsibility that came with it, and the closer the due date got, the more specific his fears got. Namely, the fear that his child would look at his face and all of the scars that were on it...and be afraid. But he wasn’t. Your son adored his father; his sweet little face would light up in a toothless smile at the sight of Billy’s face. Billy loved having a son; he loved dressing him up in his comfortable little clothes, he loved his son’s high pitched giggle, he loved the way his son held onto his fingers, trying to wobble his way through his first steps, but most of all... He loved that your son wasn’t afraid of him. From day one, the scars on Billy’s face never bothered the baby. In fact, the day he was born, when Billy first held his son, the baby reached up, eyes still closed, and touched Billy’s face. Billy had flinched, sure that the jagged edges of his scars would hurt the freshly created tiny hand, but all his son did was whine and reach out again until Billy leaned forward and let him touch his face again. And then, in that moment...Billy witnessed his baby boy’s first ever smile, and from then on, he was greeted with that smile every time his son saw his face--his reddened, scarred up face--and every time... Billy smiled back, heart full. 

Logan Delos: As far as Logan was concerned, he spawned the most gorgeous baby the world had ever seen. He could stare at your son all day long and never get tired of it. “Look at that face,” he’d gush as your son spit up on him, “That’s the face of an angel!” It got to the point that you wouldn’t even be surprised anymore when you came home to see Logan, dressed to the nines, with a camera in his hands and your son positioned in a basket, posing. Even as a baby, Logan’s son was always camera ready. “Okay,” you said, putting your purse down and coming to stand beside Logan, looking down at your perfect little bundle in his fleece-lined cashmere onesie, “I get that he’s all dressed up for his modeling gig, but why are you wearing a suit?” “He likes when we dress up together,” Logan answered, snapping a pic as he spoke, “We have a ritual, it’s a whole thing.” You laughed, leaning your head on Logan’s shoulder as you looked down at your baby boy. He had his father’s dark, enchanting eyes, and you couldn’t help but smile as he waved a tiny little fist at you. You noticed that he only waved when he knew Logan was in-between clicks. He was as much of a diva as his Dad. “Okay, okay, enough,” you reached into the basket and picked your son up, kissing his soft cheeks, “How is my baby boy? Huh? Did you have a fun day being an Instagram model with Daddy?” Your son answered you with a happy gurgle, reaching over to Logan--to the camera. You and Logan both laughed, and you rolled your eyes. “Seriously?” You asked, looking over at your son. “He wants to see the results,” Logan came over to you, showing you both the camera, “Here, son, I’ve already picked out my top ten favorites, but this one I think will look good with a nice, soft filter.” You watched, laughing, as your son eagerly stretched in your arms to see the pictures. He really was so much like his father. 

Jax Teller: The Teller smirk had to be genetic. Because when you looked at your Old Man, that smirk on his face as he leaned against the doorway, and when you looked at your son--you saw that same smirk. He had Jax’s eyes too, shimmering, crystal eyes that could make anyone melt--even Grandma Gemma. “What?” You deadpanned, frowning at them both. Your son stood almost as tall as Jax’s knees now, and he crossed his arms just like his father did above him. “I know you two are up to something,” you went on, trying and failing to keep your growing smile at bay, “So what? What do you want?” Your son looked up at Jax, and you watched them have a silent conversation with their blue eyes--as they often did. Finally, they both looked back at you. “So, darlin’,” Jax began, “we were thinking...” “I doubt it,” you drawled with a smirk, “but go on.” “And well...” “Me and Dad think you should let us have breakfast for dinner.” You paused, confused. “Let you? Why would I stop you?” In an instant, a matching grin grew on both of your boys’ faces. “See?” Jax said, looking down at your son. “I told you she’d be down for it!” Your son pumped his fist eagerly. “Yes! Pancakes for dinner!” You laughed, getting up and following them into the kitchen. “You know I’m not cooking a whole breakfast by myself, right?” You asked. Jax laughed, coming up behind you to smack your ass just as your son reached out and kissed the back of your hand--charmers, both of them. “I got egg duty,” Jax announced, going to the fridge. “I can make orange juice! Grandma showed me how!” You watched them move around the kitchen, smiling proudly at your two boys. They were so much alike and brought so much joy to your heart. Truly, they were best friends as much as father and son, and you knew, as your baby boy continued to grow, you’d have another SAMCRO member on your hands. But you also knew, as dangerous as that life could be, that he would always be safe and taken care of, as long as you and Jax were alive. And even when you were both gone, you were confident that you were raising a smart, thoughtful young man, and you knew--while he would, of course, make mistakes--that he would always do his best to protect his family and friends. After all, it was in his genes. 

Coco Cruz: You didn’t know how it happened (okay, you did know: sex), but suddenly, you and Letty were outnumbered. You and Coco had three sons, and just like Coco, they had big ass hair. “Who’s hair is this?!” Letty screamed, brushing hair off of the couch. Coco was on the floor with the boys, teaching them how to build a campfire with stuffed animals and pillows. Your youngest son, who was almost a year old, was more interested in throwing the toys around then the pretend campfire, but still. “It’s probably yours,” Coco answered, grabbing the stuffed lion your youngest son had just thrown and handing it back to him. “No, this is the hair of an inconsiderate MAN,” Letty grumped, hands on her hips. “It’s gotta be one of yours,” you added, “no one sits in that spot but you and the boys.” “I like that spot,” your second son said brightly, his perfect face framed by a huge, curly ponytail, “It’s the best vantage point in the whole living room.” “Yeah,” your oldest son replied, nodding, “You can see the whole room and the you can see the window.” “Remember,” Coco said, picking the baby up and bouncing him on his knee, “The best viewpoint is the one where you see everything, but no one sees you.” “Right,” your second oldest nodded, coping his big brother with the gesture, “You’re s’posed to be secreto, yeah?” Letty rolled her eyes at the antics of her brothers. “Yeah, okay--so what about the hair on the couch, huh? Which one of you snipers-in-training didn’t clean up after himself?” “Not me!” The boys and Coco all yelled at once. The baby also screeched out “baaaaaah”, which you took to be a denial of his guilt as well. “I swear,” you sighed, sitting on the loveseat, smiling at your boys, “I’m just gonna sneak into your beds at night and cut off all your hair.” “No!” The boys all cried out--even the baby (”no” was his new favorite word). Coco laughed, looking over at you, “Come on, baby, we’ll do better, won’t we, mijos?” He turned back to the boys, who all met him with wide, innocent eyes and eager nods, making you laugh. Letty laughed too, plopping down on the once-hair infested couch. “I swear, it’s like you four all share the same braincell,” she paused, looking around, “Huh... This actually is a good spot--” her words were interrupted by your second oldest boy chucking a stuffed duck at her. “You gotta be aware of all your surroundings!” “Dude--” she started. “You too, Mami!” Your oldest son added, throwing a pillow at you so hard, you almost fell off of the loveseat. The boys (and Letty) all erupted in laughter, and you fake glared at your boys. Their response was immediate and, of course, in stereo. “My bad!”

Angel Reyes: “This dude here,” Angel grinned, looking down at your son, “Like.. look at him! Why you got so much sauce, man?” He asked. Your son didn’t answer, he was too busy posing and looking cool. You were nearly in tears, you were laughing so hard. The three of you had decided to walk down to Felipe’s shop, and since it was a bit chilly out, you put a hat on your son and suddenly he was just too damn cool. Angel looked down at your baby boy, grinning wide as he watched your son lean against a building, hands in his pockets. “Papi, stop laughing,” your son said, his little voice making your heart melt, “Momma, take a picture of us!” You laughed, taking out your phone, “Okay, papi, stand right there next to Daddy,” you opened the camera app and felt your heart flip in your chest when you saw them through the lens. Your son was purposefully standing with his hands in his pockets, just like Angel was, and as eager as he was for this photo, he couldn’t hide the smile on his little face. You took a couple of pictures (at one point, they stood back to back with their arms crossed), and laughed as you did. Your boys were so full of life, the physical embodiment of joy. Everyday with your husband and your son was a blessing, so full of laughter and love. You knew what Angel’s childhood had been like, how he’d always thought of himself as the ill-favored son, and you knew he made sure his son never felt unwanted. Your baby boy was the prince of the Reyes family; beloved and cherished and treasured (and okay, maybe a wee bit spoiled), and he knew his Daddy loved him more than anything else in his life because Angel told him every single day. You pocketed your phone and watched as your son reached up for Angel’s hand, and the image of your husband’s big, strong hand carefully holding your baby boy’s had your heart clenching. There was nothing more beautiful than seeing the love between your two boys. Your son looked over at you, a smile--that Angel smile--on his round little face, and held out his other hand. “Come on, Momma, Abuelo is old, we can’t make him wait!” You laughed, taking his hand, and kept walking, you and Angel on either side of your son, your little prince. And you couldn’t be happier. 

Miguel Galindo: Miguel had several body guards on hand, a security team, a nanny, and Nestor at his disposal at all times, and yet when it came to buckling your baby boy into the car, only Miguel could do it. “Okay, let’s make sure we’re safe,” Miguel said cheerfully as he strapped your son into his car-seat, pulling at the straps to make sure they were secure, “Daddy isn’t going anywhere until he knows you’re safe.” Your son smiled up at his father, babbling sweetly at him. You sat next to the car-seat, watching Miguel interact with your son. You loved how protective he was of him; Miguel was a man of wealth, and as such, he had his share of enemies, but as time had gone on, and the Galindo businesses stared going legit, the list of enemies got smaller and smaller. Still, you preferred the cautiousness over recklessness, especially when it came to the safety of your family. “What do you think, mijo?” Miguel asked as he got into the car, nodding at the security guard who closed the door behind him. “Should we stop by the ice cream shop on the way home from picking up your brother from school?” Your baby giggled, clapping his hands excitedly at the mention of ice cream, and you and Miguel laughed. “Sounds like a yes,” you said, reaching over to run a finger against your son’s smooth, chubby cheek. Miguel leaned forward for a moment, directing the driver to start moving, before sitting back and smiling over at you and your son. He reached out and smoothed down your son’s hair; it had the same natural curly swoop Miguel’s hair did. “He’s getting big,” he said, “You think it’s time to get a new car-seat?” You smiled, watching as your son reached up and took hold of Miguel’s finger, always happy to be close to his dad. “He’s got another few months in this one,” you answered, “Although it might be time to get a new baby wrap-around. The one you have is starting to get worn out.” “Yeah, that’s cause this one likes to hang off my chest while I work. I’m telling you, he’s gonna be a shrewd businessman, this one!” You both laughed. Miguel adored being close to your son and did everything he could to avoid putting him down. So the head of the Galindo cartel would strap his youngest son to his chest as he handled business and called the shots, because as much of a boss as your husband was, he was powerless when it came to his kids--and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Nick Amaro: It had been a long day for Nick. As much as he loved his job, as much as he loved helping and protecting others, it could be incredibly draining. He’d just closed a case he and the squad had been working for a month, and while justice had been served, and Nick was happy with the results, it had taken a lot out of him. The things he saw, the horrific stories, the disgusting perps--it was a lot. Plus he’d been forced to work long days and long nights, and Nick hated being away from you and the kids. So when he came home early in the morning, fresh off of a 12 hour shift, he was ready to give you and the kids a quick kiss in your beds before going to sleep himself. But when he opened the door to your house, he was greeted with soft Cubano music and the best sound of all--his baby boy’s precious laugh. Immediately, before Nick had even stepped fully through the door, a smile grew on his face. It was early, but apparently the baby was wide awake, which of course meant you were wide awake. Nick walked over to the corner of the couch, where your son was sitting up, wearing his favorite bear bib, and laughing at the sight of his little black shoes. “Don’t tell me you pulled another all-nighter?” Nick asked him as he bent over and picked him up. He was immediately greeted with slobbery kisses and sticky fingers pulling at his ears, but Nick didn’t mind. In fact, he loved it. Just by hearing his son’s laugh and holding him in his arms, Nick’s mood had already improved. “He slept through the night, actually,” you answered from your spot in the kitchen, “Which is why he’s the first one up. Zara had a nightmare, so she’s sleeping in our bed, and I let Gil have a few extra hours on the tablet last night, so he’s knocked out.” Nick nodded, kissing your son right on his adorable little dimple. “And so you woke up to help Mama with breakfast, huh? What a gentleman,” he teased. Your baby boy laughed, and Nick laughed back. His son was always happy, always eager for a cuddle and happy to be held, and he just brought so much joy to Nick’s life. You and the kids were everything to Nick; you were why he did what he did. He wanted to make sure the world was as safe as he could make it for his family, and as he looked down at his grinning baby boy and listened to his sweet laugh, he knew his son would grow up to be good. And that was all Nick could ever hope for. 

Johnny Tuturro: “Me ready!” Your son announced, coming into the living room with his overalls on, toddling towards you and Johnny. You laughed, and Johnny crouched down to be at eye level with his son. “I think you forgot something, man,” he said, affectionately poking him in his cheek. “No I not! Me ready! Me ready for beach!” Your son argued, his dark brown eyes shining with mischief just like your husband’s. “You did a good job with your hair,” you said, ignoring the trail of moisturizing oil, combs, and brushes your baby had left in the hallway when he did his hair, “and you look so cute in your overalls.” “Tank you for helping with the buttons,” he said, giving you that Tuturro smile that had you ready to give him everything he ever wanted. “You’re welcome, baby,” you cooed back. “But we can’t go to the beach till you’re all ready, big man,” Johnny added, he pointed to his son’s teeny tiny little feet, “Shoes.” Your son gasped, slapping his little hands on either side of his face in total shock. He screeched, waddling off to grab a pair of shoes from the rack, and you and Johnny laughed. An expert father, Johnny sat on the floor and let your son plop down into his lap, holding his shoes and socks in his fat little hands. “Help me peas,” he said, looking up at his dad. Johnny bent down and kissed the top of his head, taking the socks and putting them on your son’s feet--a pretty impressive feat seeing as how your son was incapable of not swinging his feet. You leaned against the wall, a smile on your face, as you watched them together. Johnny was telling your son that they’d play in the water until the sun went down, and your son clapped his hands excitedly. They were both beach bums, your son having inherited his love of the water from Johnny. “Okay,” Johnny slipped the first tiny shoe on, “let’s practice our colors. What color is this?” He pointed to the shoes. “Black!” “Good job! How about Mommy’s shoes. What color are those?” “Mommy’s shoes white!” “Yeah, white! What color is the ocean?” “The ocean blue!” He answered, and Johnny rewarded him by picking him up and spinning him around, “That’s right, big man! You’re so smart! Just like your Mommy!” Holding your baby boy with one hand and taking your hand in the other, Johnny grinned, “Okay, let’s go!” You walked into the sunshine with your own two lovable sources of sunshine, all three of you smiling and excited for another perfect day. 

Rio: For you, bathtime was war. Your son was a tiny tyrant, displeased with every part of the procedure. He screamed because the water was too cold, and then when you added hot water to it, he whined at the added heat. He tossed the bath toys you provided him, crying because they weren’t the ones he wanted that night. He splashed at the water angrily, tried of being in the tub, and then when you took him out, he kicked his fat little feet and yelled cause he wanted to play in the water. To be clear, he was a sweet baby most of the time, but bathtime turned him into a little monster. Unless Daddy was bathing him. You stood by the sink, arms crossed, pretending to be offended as you watched Rio bathe your son. Rio was on his knees next to the tub, one hand on your son’s back, steadying him in his little baby tub, the other pushing along a toy boat--that your son had chucked at you in annoyance not five minutes before--and making your son laugh. “Okay, time to rinse off,” Rio said, taking a cup and pouring it over your son, who just giggled at the action, “Yeah, now we’re alllll clean,” Rio sang. You bit back a smile as you watched your husband pick your son up. Your son reached for the tattoo on Rio’s neck and tickled it, making all three of you laugh. Rio sat him down on a towel on the sink, and you leaned in, pressing your nose into the fatness of his neck, sniffing that sweet, clean baby smell on his soft, smooth skin. “God, this is like crack,” you sighed. Rio chuckled as you stepped back, and he covered your son’s head with a fluffy brown towel. “I don’t know why you be telling lies on my son,” he joked, “he was an angel this whole time.” “You’ve seen how he gets when I bathe him! He only likes when you do it, it’s crazy!” You huffed. Rio leaned over and kissed your son’s chubby cheeks a good hundred times, coaxing another round of laughs out of the baby. “That’s cause bathtime is boy’s time,” he said, his voice muffled by your son’s cheeks, “Ain’t that right, son?” Rio stood up and turned to you, kissing your cheek as well. “And bedtime is Mommy time,” he whispered, his voice low, “matter of fact... let’s get this boy in his crib so I can wipe Mommy down and rinse her off...” You laughed at the innuendo...and then hurried to grab your son’s pajamas--bedtime couldn’t come quick enough. 

Bonus Boy 

EZ Reyes: Felipe and Angel both agreed that your son was exactly like EZ was when he was a kid: friendly, inquisitive, adventurous. EZ joked that he was always just a little nerd, but when you watched him with your son, you could see that inquisitive spirit in EZ bursting through. “What do you think,” EZ asked, crouching down next to your son as he patted the bark on a tree at the park, “is this a good tree?” “Good tree!” Your son repeated, looking over at his Dad. EZ smiled, and you could see every woman within a 10 mile radius collectively swoon at the sight of him (the smile, the arms, the EVERYTHING) next to your incredibly adorable baby boy. Hell, even you weren’t immune; you indulged in a quick little swoon yourself. “Papi, tree big!” Your son reported, stepping back and looking up at the tree, his little head reared back. EZ held your son steady with a hand on his little back; EZ’s hand was just about the width of your son’s back. “Yeah, it is,” EZ agreed, nodding, “You know, the older a tree is, the bigger is is. So this is probably a very old tree.” Your son’s jaw dropped, nodding in awe, “Wowwwwwww.” You sat on the bench and watched as your boys walked around the park, examining the various trees and plants. Your son would point to something and look up at EZ, who would start spewing off any and every fact he knew about the object, impressing the hell out of your baby boy. You loved watching them like this; you loved your son’s curious nature, and you were so happy and proud that EZ not only supported it, but helped nurture it as well. As you watched them walk around the park in their own little world, hand in hand, you felt a strong sense of love come over you. This was your family. They were yours, and you were theirs, and you loved them both so much, and they loved you. You put your hand over your stomach, a small smile pulling at your lips as you thought of your little secret. They loved you...and they would love this next little one just as much. 

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[aj28gaming]

Danganronpa messing up Nagito's character cuz apparently even they believe headcanons

Is it just me or is Danganronpa making Nagito worse?

Like at the start we have a socially intelligent and intuitive paranoid kid who hates despair and gets forced into a killing game that is filled with everything he hates and fears

So he clings desperately to hope as a coping mechanism to deal with everything

And then in the anime, we get a social outcast (for some reason even though people would've loved his hope talks like they did back in chapter 1 since no killing game happens and he is just speaking normally)

who bombs a school (forget his paranoia apparently) and nonchalantly allows himself to get out of the island and accidentally kill 40+ soldiers (again, ignoring his paranoia of his destructive luck cycle apparently)

And then in Danganronpa 2.5 we get a socially inept, clingy hope addict who apparently doesn't have boundaries?

(We seriously ignoring how much he pushes people away back in SDR2, is afraid of having friends due to his luck cycle, respects boundaries to the max, and how socially intelligent he is and his crazy empathy to know people's hopes and despairs?)

(And no even Mikan's motivations he understood, he knew she killed for despair because she literally killed for Junko, Mikan just says he doesn't understand because she doesn't count is as killing for despair, she counts it as killing for love)

And some of the fans defend this and says Nagito is hated or is supposed to have no boundaries because of his social ineptness or inability to properly socialize

Okay

WHEN?

WHEN HAS HE IN SUPER DANGANRONPA 2 ACTUALLY SUCKED AT SOCIALIZING OR WAS SOCIALLY INEPT OR OUT OF TOUCH?

NOT THE ANIME OR SPINOFFS, I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ACTUAL SECOND GAME WHERE HE FIRST SHOWED HIS FACE

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOW GONNA BASE ALMOST ALL OF MY POINTS ON HOW NAGITO IS AND ACTS DURING SDR2 AND THAT INCLUDES HIS FREE TIME EVENTS AND ISLAND MODE

NOT THE ANIME OR DANGANRONPA 2.5, JUST DANGANRONPA 2 GOODBYE DESPAIR

Bruh, the guy is hated sure, but boy was he awesome at being a people-person and gathering people during chapter 1

He encouraged everyone with his hope talks and Hajime even kept simping for the guy because of his positivity

And due to the guy's CRAZY HIGH EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING, he is able to understand the hopes and despairs of almost every freaking character

He knew Teruteru wanted to continue the culinary legacy and help his mom, that's his hope

He knew Imposter would want to protect everyone no matter what, that's his hope

He knew Mikan killed for Despair, that despair being Junko Enoshima

He knew Fuyuhiko's hope is Peko and that both of them care about each other very much

He knew how similar he and Hajime are and how they are both bystanders and lovers of Hope, for Hajime that Hope being Hope's Peak academy itself and/or having talent

The guy is crazy with how well he knows people, and he is definitely not socially inept at all

He respects boundaries, is able to read the room and the only time he seems socially inept is when he is either trying to purposefully annoy someone to get a reaction or when he is too obsessed with his ideas with hope

The guy is obsessed with hope, yes, but he is not socially inept

That is seriously downgrading how much empathy he has and how much understanding he has for every character

And Nagito does have empathy, the reason why it seems like he doesn't is because he treats the dead people like stepping stones for hope

He does have empathy tho, and too much that it takes a toll on his mental health whenever he sees dead bodies, so he clings to hope in order to cope and tries to pretend that it's okay if people die because there is always hope

(basically, deniability at it's finest)

It's not that the guy doesn't care, it's that he does a little too much

Which is why he laughs, laughing for him doesn't mean he is happy, it means he is surprised (he says this in island mode)

And seeing that his greatest fears are seeing people die constantly because of his luck cycle, wouldn't be surprised that he laughs like crazy in a literal killing game

And laughing out of stress or fear isn't unheard of, I mean there is also a thing called nervous laughter

And jesus christ, CAN PEOPLE STOP TRYING TO USE FRONTOTEMPORAL DEMENTIA SYMPTOMS TO EXPLAIN HIM?

What I mean is, yes he has dementia or is at least diagnosed with it

And I believe that he probably does actually have dementia (not saying he could've lied tho but he could've still been misdiagnosed)

But that doesn't mean he has all of the symptoms

I don't think we can confirm if he does or doesn't have dementia because he might just not have all of the symptoms

But I do know that using the symptoms to explain his character isn't a good idea especially since it usually undermines who he actually is

Like, let me explain

Behavior and/or dramatic personality changes, such as swearing, stealing, increased interest in sex, or a deterioration in personal hygiene habits

- No, and no not even when the killing game started. Yeah sure he laughs now, but that's no different from how he is normally since laughing for him is what he does when he gets surprised or stressed. He doesn't change much in the killing game, he still believes in hope and everyone else, still respects boundaries, still have crazy high intellect and empathy, still pushes people away

Socially inappropriate, impulsive, or repetitive behaviors

- not really, again the guy is a freaking gentleman even during the killing game. He respects boundaries, reprimands Teruteru for sexual assault during chapter 1, pushes people away and distances himself from others, isn't at all impulsive (usually quite the opposite really), and is usually planning and tries to remain calm and composed throughout the killing game (struggling tho cuz yeah killing game)

Impaired judgment

- here, I kinda disagree. I wouldn't say that Nagito is entirely in the right with everything he does, but I understand his views. The guy knows that no one is truly a bad person in the killing game because everyone was forced into it. He knows that even the blackened escapes and everyone dies, it isn't fully a bad thing because that means someone escapes and goes back home to their loved ones while the killing game ends

If a blackened succeeds, the despair would be of course everyone else dying and the blackened going through a lot of trauma, but the hope would be the end of the killing game and the blackened going home or to their loved ones or to their goal in life or whatever

If the blackened dies, the despair would obviously be the blackened dying and the killing game still continuing, while the hope would be everyone else still alive

Nagito isn't exactly wrong in wanting to help the blackened as well, of course, Nagito would want him himself to be the victim so another person gets a chance at escape and no one else would be the victim

Sadly for Nagito, that time never comes

Nagito doesn't want others to be killed, he wants to sacrifice himself instead as the victim instead of everyone else

Apathy

- .....big no. Nonononono. The dude is anything but apathetic.

"Apathy is a lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern about something."

Seriously, being a dude who is constantly supportive of everyone and their hopes in life and how passionate this dude gets about hope and despair, and the fact that he is the most stressed 24/7 about something bad happening due to his luck, this guy is seriously anything but apathetic

Lack of empathy

- No. If the guy truly lack empathy he wouldn't need to use Hope desperately as a coping mechanism, wouldn't care about the ultimates and their hopes and despairs, wouldn't constantly be thinking about helping the ultimates and overcoming despair, wouldn't be the most stressed out of everyone, and definitely wouldn't be in love with Hajime or even act the way he did in chapter 1

Decreased self-awareness

- You don't actually understand why you act the way you do.

A good indicator that you lack self-awareness deals with how well you understand your emotions, actions, and behavior. People who lack self-awareness often feel constantly off-kilter, anxious, or angry.

This is not Nagito at all. The guy understands his emotions and behaviors which is why he is able to do the things he does and is able to conduct plans based on how much he understands his own self and capabilities. The guy is actually the most self-aware out of everyone, he knows about how people don't understand him and constantly misunderstand him and his intentions, he is aware constantly of his inability sometimes to properly explain his goals to people.

The guy has a lot of self-awareness and isn't afraid to take responsibility for his actions. Actually, it's because of how self-aware he is of his own self and his destructive luck cycle that he constantly blames himself for anything bad that happens.

The guy is seriously self-aware as hell and it's scary sometimes

Loss of interest in normal daily activities

- Nope, he hasn't shown any sign of apathy towards anything and is usually pretty hyped about doing daily activities. He is paranoid though on the daily because he fears for what his luck cycle might do

Emotional withdrawal from others

- Emotional withdrawal involves bottling up your emotions. It involves cutting out the people who could help us, because we're so used to rejection that we've learned to anticipate it. Because we've learned to disconnect from others, we develop other unhealthy coping mechanisms

Emotional withdrawal is defined as pulling back emotionally or physically by bottling up your feelings or disconnecting from others. Emotional withdrawal can be far more complex at times. It is comparable to a breakup, in every way but physical.

Kind of? Yes, he pushes people away, but he is still willing to spend time with people, especially Hajime, when they really insist. He politely pushes people away, but he isn't opposed to hanging out with people either though it is sometimes rare

Loss of energy and motivation

- .... I already said it before, the guy is full of motivation and energy and passion that it is scary sometimes

Inability to use or understand language; this may include difficulty naming objects, expressing words, or understanding the meanings of words

-.....WHY IS THIS HERE? THE GUY IN THE JAPANESE DUB CONSTANTLY FLEXES HIS DAMN ENGLISH VOCABULARY DESPITE IT BEING A JAPANESE DUB

AND THE FUCKING ENGLISH WORDS HE USES ARE FANCY AND HIGH LEVEL AS FUCK THAT I FEEL SMART JUST READING THEM

Hesitation when speaking

- Definite no, the guy isn't afraid to voice his own opinions and never hesitates and can get very vocal about the things he is passionate about

Less frequent speech

- Again, definite hell no. I wouldn't be surprised if his voice lines are longer than the voice lines of everyone else combined

Distractibility

- Nope. The guy is focused on his goals constantly. No matter what he does, you can always be sure that it is for a certain goal. He pisses of Fuyuhiko? It was to get a reaction from him to confirm his suspicions about the true culprit. He lied about the rope? It was to see how Mikan would react and how the trial would go to confirm his suspicions about Mikan being the culprit?

The guy is focused like a damn soldier

Trouble planning and organizing

-.....do I seriously need to explain? This is Nagito we are talking about

Frequent mood changes

- Not really. He usually acts or reacts a certain way because something happened like someone died or something. He is actually pretty normal with how he acts and reacts and doesn't really change his mood rapidly that much

Agitation

- Yes and no? Sure the guy gets paranoid 24/7, but is still somewhat more chill than agitated to an extent. He is easy going and is just paranoid about what his luck would do, he is vigilant but not necessarily agitated

Increasing dependence

- No. The guy is independent to a fault and only relies on others when his plans call for it. He also usually does things of his own accord and rarely with a partner unless he really needs to or his goal is to help that person specifically, which knowing him is a usual thing

Unwillingness to talk

- Again, no. The guy talks a lot and while he pushes others away, he wouldn't turn down a conversation if the other person wanted one

Lack of inhibition or lack of social tact

- Again, no. The guy is a gentleman and respects boundaries and definitely gets stressed especially in the killing game. The guy is also paranoid 24/7 on a normal day due to his luck cycle

Obsessive or repetitive behavior, such as compulsively shaving or collecting items

- No? Sure he clings to hope but that is more of a coping mechanism. If he isn't in a stressful situation like a killing game he doesn't get that obsessive as much about hope since he doesn't need to desperately cling to it as a coping mechanism

Unusual verbal, physical or sexual behavior

- No? He isn't at all like this. It isn't unusual to panic or use a coping mechanism desperately when in a situation like a killing game, and he doesn't do anything unusual like this when it's a normal day. Sure the guy gets paranoid, but that's it

Weight gain due to dramatic overeating

- No? Actually, I don't really know how much weight he gains to be honest so idk

My main point here is, yes there is a chance Nagito does actually have dementia, but using the symptoms as a way to explain his character undermines who he actually is and can cause a lot of misunderstandings of his character

Especially since I remember being told that they only added in dementia to his character backstory a little late during his character development and creation

It isn't a good idea to use his symptoms because it usually gets his character wrong and sometimes makes them excuse a lot of the things he has done

The guy is self-aware, isn't socially inept, is a gentleman, and socially intelligent as hell

And I really hate how even Danganronpa itself seems to forget that

It's like they forgot who Nagito is, to begin with

[justtuesdays]

meet the bombshells: interview

thanks again everyone for all your comments and support (and love, always love). the only way to cope this season is to shower our mc’s with some fun-loving group of bombshells. so I made three and then made another three. so if you’re looking for ig, marco & tandy’s interview or confessions look here. otherwise, here’s lambda, yosi & roma’s interview. feel free to send ask for any of the six!

✖️so the audience’s met the first set of bombshells, and wow! but look at you three— my days! so, tell us all, a bit about yourselves.

R: (smirks) "Requirements did say, hot— I'm Ro, short for Roma. Twenty-nine. Bi. Race-car mechanic. And yes, I do ride...in all the senses."

L: (snorts) "I guess we're coming in guns blazing (Roma shrugs, Yosi smiles) The name's Lambda, my brother the math nerd got to name me. (Yosi turns piqued with interest) Are you a nerd too, Yosi? Intelligence is sexy. (Yosi blushes) We'll get back to that later— (Roma nods) Twenty-seven, demi and professional gamer."

Y: "Professional gamer? Is that all? It felt like there was more. (Lambda winks) Right...I'm Yosiah Hamdy. It's either Yosi or Hamdy, twenty-five, figuring things out— um and, vet."

✖️ what are your types?

L: (cuts Roma off, sends them a smile) "Dr. Hamdy, huh? I like it! It’s about time we had a few people who could hold intellectual conversations. (Producers gesture for her to move on) What? That’s the best way to segue into— my type are people I can hold both intellectual conversation just like idiotic ones. Someone who enjoys a good laugh and a good meal…someone… who…doesn’t think my career is a joke—”

Y: (offers Lamba a one-sided hug, Lambda leans into him) “You’re awesome and no one else’s opinions should matter, but most times they do. It’s the human condition. (He shrugs) My type…a decent human being.” (Roma and Lambda chuckle, Yosi smiles)

R: “Ditto on that one, Doc. If only there were more than a handful. (shakes their head) My type…someone who can keep up, who’s interesting and if they want an actual relationship…(Lambda snorts, Yosi raises a brow) someone who isn’t scared to call bull-shit.”

✖️looks or personality?

L: “And what I’m getting is that no one’s ever done that. (Roma smirks) Where exactly did you say you were from? (Roma answers) Ahh…well I’ll happily take the bull-shit caller role until someone steps up. And, personality for me.”

R: “Definitely personality for me, but looks doesn’t hurt anyone right?“

Y: “That depends on your expectations. (Roma replies) I suppose not having expectation could work, theoretically. But, I’m gonna go with personality too.” (Lambda high-fives him)

✖️turn-on and turn-offs?

R: (holds out their fingers) “Turn-ons: nice hair, nice lips and knows what they’re doing. Turn-offs: a liar, tries to mansplain cars to me, generally mansplains shit and clingy.”

L: “Here I thought you liked them clingy. (Lambda giggles, Roma smiles) Hmm, I actually have to give the turn-on a good think. Turn-offs: doesn’t take my career choices seriously, can’t take an L, overbearing— (Yosi stares quizzically) Look, there’s little I can do when it comes to avoiding bruises, it’s the nature of roller derby. (Roma smirks, Lambda continues) Turn-ons: somewhat of a homebody, supportive, can cook…god knows I’m lazy and take-out is only good for so long. Doesn’t mind playing nurse once in a while. And…that’s it I guess, wait, nice eyes.”

Y: “Roller derby, what you’re a Jammer, then? (Lambda beams) My sisters a big fans of derby, maybe I’ve seen you play. Anyways, it’s not a long list for either. Turn-offs: hates animals, condescending, and chews with their mouths open. (Lambda cracks a cow joke, and burst out laughing, Yosi smiles) Turn-ons: has a great sense of humor, gets along with my family, doesn’t mind the quiet days and loves animals.”

✖️worst dates?

R: (Lambda nudges them) “I’m starting to think you are enjoying this, Lambda. (Lambda sticks her tongue out, Roma pretends to grab it) Ok, most people know this one, so I won’t be surprised if I come back to Twitter sleuths. I once went out on a date where my partner thought to surprise me with their cooking. Great cook. But bloody awful memory that one. I’ve told them time and time again that I was allergic to mushrooms and sure not twenty minutes into our food, I’m lying on the ground unable to breathe and they’re panicking. If you’re gonna go ahead and attempt to kill me at least help them out with their epi-pen.”

Y: (He cringes) “Yikes. If something like that happens here, I can help you with the application. Hopefully, it doesn’t. (Roma pounds him) Does it count if it happened before the date? (Lambda and Roma nod) So, my date offered to pick me up from the field, and they got their a lot earlier then expected. I was helping deliver colts, and they vomited.”

L: “Noo! They didn’t. (Yosi nods) How do you even go on your date after that? (Yosi answers) At least you didn’t have to go to lunch with vomit-breath. My worst date would be at the arcade. (Roma asks why) They thought I’d enjoy some competition. But, I got the satisfaction of winning and watching him storm away like a kid. Fragile masculinity. What can you do?”

✖️biggest romantic gesture?

Y: (rubs the back of his neck) “I got them a puppy.”

R: “Now, that’s sweet, Yosi. You’re a big softie aren’t ya? (Yosi blushes) Someone once filled my car with flowers.”

L: (She laughs) “I think they mean your biggest romantic gesture, Ro. (Roma shrugs) I was seeing this girl in a band once, and I liked their music so I used their music for one of my videos.”

✖️have you ever cheated or been cheated on?

L: “Never. And, yes I’ve been cheated on.”

Y: (mildly upset) “That’s shitty of them. (Lambda offers a weak smile) I don’t cheat. And as far as I know, I haven’t been cheated on.”

R: “Yes and yes. (Yosi and Lambda look on curiously) I came clean to them and then broke up. Apparently, being on-and-off all the time we kept losing track of when we were even together so a lot of what we did was cheating. It wasn’t really serious, but man did that f*** me up.”

✖️would you guys take back an ex?

R: “No.” (Producers ask them to elaborate, Roma doesn’t budge)

Y: “Um, I think so. It would depend on the situation we broke up in.”

L: “I couldn’t. No matter the situation. I hold grudges for a while and I’d hate to be the one to bring old shit back up.”

that was enlightening! glad you guys aren’t the ones in the villa with the ex. next time, we’ll have these guys answering your beach hut questions. until then, keep on sending those asks.

[xwing-baby]

Impulse: Remedy (Javier Peña x Reader)

Summary: Top of your class, the DEA have sent you to Colombia to be the poster child for their new ‘placement program’. You’re thrown in at the deep end into the drug war. With Agent Peña as your mentor, what could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: Rookie has really terrible coping mechanisms. Drug use, alcohol, swearing, derogatory language, smoking, mentions of murder(?)

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Sorry for the delay lads, for some reason this chapter did not want to be written! As always don’t sleep with your boss and don’t do drugs unless their prescription :P

<-- Previous Chapter  // Masterlist //  Next Chapter -->

-- 

You were exhausted. You hadn’t slept for more than an hour after leaving Javier’s apartment. Not for lack of trying, you thought your previous activities would have worn you out. But no. You were too scared to sleep, not wanting to deal with any nightmares that might occur so you sat on your dusty old couch, drank a vat of coffee and waited until the rest of the city woke up. 

You cursed under your breath when you saw Steve’s truck had already gone by the time you got downstairs. It was Connie’s volunteering day at the hospital, he always took her early. You had to go with Javi. You sat on the wall outside the apartment, smoking a cigarette and waiting for Javier to come outside. You had no idea what you were supposed to say to him, how were you supposed to act. You couldn’t really pretend like nothing had happened, sleeping with him like that was not something you could brush under the rug. But you didn’t want to talk to him about it, that would make it real. A real action with real consequences. If anyone found out that would be the end of your time here, and quite possibly the end of your time in the DEA entirely. 

Eventually Javier came outside, spotted you on the wall and waved. You got up, chucked the packet of cigarettes in your hand to him before you stubbed out your own and got into the truck. 

“So, do you want to talk about last night?” He asked as he lit a new cigarette.

“Not particularly. There isn’t really much to say is there?” 

“Not really,” He shrugged, “You’re not in love with me now, right?” 

“In your fucking dreams Peña. You weren’t that good,” You laughed at his audacity. You were lying, he was very good at it. But you weren’t in love with him. No, you couldn’t allow yourself even if you were. 

“You bitch,” He tried to be serious but your laugh was contagious. 

Javi immediately felt relieved, he’d spent all night worrying about you. He really didn’t want the sex to ruin everything you had going as a team. He was a little scared he had scared you off entirely but now you were laughing in his passenger seat as if nothing had ever happened all his worries were laid to rest. 

“It happened and that’s it. We don’t need to make it a thing,” You said.

“Agreed,” 

“Awesome, let’s go to work then,” 

And just like that, it was like nothing had ever happened. Back to piles of paperwork, chasing up lazy cops for their reports and trying desperately to avoid Carrillo. It was going to take time to get over what you had seen him do. You didn’t want to see him, let alone be left alone with him. You’d pushed all responsibility for anything related to him onto Javier, who in return passed you more of his paperwork. It was a fair trade off. 

At your desk, hummin away to yourself you could almost convince yourself you were fine. Thanks to the never ending cup of coffee and the sugar doughnuts you found for lunch, your energy levels were back up high. All reminders of the night before were out of sight and you were so consumed in work you didn’t notice as the day came to a close. 

“Good night last night?” Steve asked across the desk.

“Huh?” You looked up from your work. Steve motioned to his neck, and you immediately cringed. You had forgotten about the hickey. “Oh, um yeah I guess,” You pulled your jacket back on, despite the heat, as the collar would cover the mark again. 

“I thought you and Peña were out in the jungle for that lead. You would have got back super late,” Steve said. 

“Everyone’s got their vices, Murphy,” Javier reappeared, jumping to your aid. Steve looked suspiciously between you and Javi. 

“Guess you two are becoming more similar by the day,” He chuckled to himself, shaking any ideas from his mind. 

“Guess so,” You agreed. You and Javi shared a glance while Steve looked away, both of you well aware of the shit storm that would kick up if Steve found out. He loved you and Javi a lot, but there is no way he would just skip over such an event. You flashed a smile, silently thanking Javi for stepping in for you, before he went back to work again. 

To avoid any further questioning, you kept your jacket on for the remainder of the day, rather enduring the heat and cursing Javier for leaving a mark, than having anymore prying questions from Steve. When you finally gave up struggling with your mountain of paperwork, Steve offered you a ride home which you took gladly.

“You and Javi slept together last night, huh?” Steve asked as you rolled out of the embassy. Startled, you immediately went on the defense and laughed.

“Wh-what no!” You spluttered.

“I’m not an idiot, Rookie,” Steve raised an eyebrow at you. You didn’t know what to say, so shook your head and shrugged, “So Javi was talking out of his ass earlier?” He said. Your stomach immediately dropped. 

“Who’s he been talking to?” All laughter was gone from your voice. If Javi had said something that was it. Why on earth would he say anything? 

“So something did happen?” Steve exclaimed, happy that his hunch was right.

“Steve,” You sighed heavily. Relieved for only a moment before more dread piled on. 

“I can’t believe you two,” He said shaking his head, “I mean I was kind of expecting it with Javi’s reputation but I thought you had some standards at least,” 

“You weren’t there, you don’t get it. It wasn’t anything meaningful just- things happen sometimes,” You sighed, “Did he actually say anything to you?” 

“No,” He spoke more sympathetically now, “but I figured something was up, you’ve been acting weird all morning,” 

“That’s more to do with the lack of sleep,” You explained, “Yesterday got a bit… dark. I don’t think I slept at all,” 

“Carrillo?” Steve asked. You nodded solemnly, “You’ll get used to it,” 

You didn’t get used to it. That night haunted you. You couldn’t sleep, every time you shut your eyes the tortured man's face stared back at you. You were practically intolerable come the end of the week. You’d fallen asleep at your desk on multiple occasions, snapped at everyone in the office, and drank enough coffee to fill an Olympic swimming pool. You made a secretary cry by snapping at her over some missing evidence and, had broken the phone on your desk. 

As bad as your week had ended up being you still had to go out at the end of it. Instead of curling up with a movie and takeout you had to attend María’s family’s party. You didn’t know why you were invited but you definitely couldn’t back out of it. You’d hoped by now you would have cheered up, that you would be excited to let loose but you were miserable.

The party itself was gorgeous. Set out in the countryside, an hour from Medellin, the hills made for a beautiful backdrop. The Parreño’s summer house was exactly as you had expected, lavish and decadent. Courtyards filled with marble statues and paintings by various famous artists covered the walls. Lights were strung up around the garden between the pool house and a gazebo creating a colourful glow out onto the golden sky. 

The air was full of conversation and music. Even though you were surrounded by people who would kill you if they found out who you really were, somehow with a drink in your hand you felt a little more relaxed. María had leant you a dress, a simple little black number, and fixed your makeup in the car ride here while excitedly telling you about her cousin from Argentina she was going to set you up with. You were at the very least, on the way to being happy. 

María dragged you around introducing you to so many people you couldn’t remember their names. You gave up trying after ten different people María introduced as her auntie. You smiled and politely complimented their outfit or their hair and moved on. That was until you finally recognised someone. Senator Parreño, a regular face in your life. You prayed he wouldn’t recognise you, you had only met him once, sitting in the back of the ambassador's office while they spoke about something. Like most people, he ignored you that day and hopefully he wouldn’t have a clue now.

“Dad this is my friend, Isabela,” María introduced you. You were taken back for a moment. You knew her family was rich, but a senator for a father made them powerful too. Far more influence and scandal with their new link to Escobar too. 

“Nice to meet you,” You smiled and shook his hand. The senator looked puzzled.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” He asked. Your heart skipped a beat. 

“Oh stop it Dad I talk about her all the time, she’s been to our house a lot,”

“No, no it’s from somewhere else,” He squinted at you, looking you up and down. You could feel yourself sweating as you nervously took a big gulp of the cocktail in your hand.

“Isabela works at the American embassy papa, maybe you’ve just seen her there,” María said.

“I am a secretary,” You added quickly, “Usually running around the place, you probably saw me then,” You laughed nervously. Outwardly, you knew you looked normal but inside you were panicking massively.

“Ah I see,” He nodded, not entirely convinced. Luckily before he could interrogate you further or work out who you actually were, María linked arms with you and pulled your attention away.

“Come on, I just spotted Carlos. You will love him,” 

--

Three things you had learnt about Carlos. One, he could and should be in a magazine. He was stunningly handsome in a shirt with far too many buttons undone you were practically drooling over him. Two, he was smart. An engineer. A very upstanding career especially compared to the occupation of most of the people at the party. And three, he really liked cocaine. That part did let him down quite a bit.

Hidden away from the prying eyes of parents and older generations, María, Diego, Carlos and multiple others you did not remember the names of, sat around listening to Carlos rave about the new recipe his friend had told him about. You listened carefully, if your hangover didn’t delete this information in the morning it would be great. Could finally have something to show for your weeks with María. 

Carlos pulled out a pack of the new cocaine and poured out a good pile. You watched them all take a line. Part of you was interested in seeing what it was like. It must be good if everyone was so addicted to the stuff. You handled some much of the powder on a daily basis but you’d never even tried it. Seemed almost ridiculous. Maybe it was what you needed to finally relax a little, the alcohol wasn’t hitting the spot. One line wouldn’t kill you.

“Want some?” María offered, wiping her nose of residue. You shook your head. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” You announced, standing up from your seat on the couch. You climbed over María out of the circle of people. You could use their distraction to your advantage now. Now María wasn’t holding on to you you could actually go and investigate. Now with two Narcos connected attendees at least and the revelation that Senator Parreño was María’s father, any information you could find giving a definite link would be huge. 

“Don’t be a pussy Isabela!” Diego hollered. 

“Oh leave her alone, she’s only going for a moment,” María shoved her boyfriend playfully, “She’ll do it later,” 

“Pacing myself,” You agreed with a smile. 

“Miss you already!” María called after you before dissolving into fits of giggles.

Inside, the house was quiet. Only a couple of people sat in the living room downstairs and they paid no attention to you as you walked inside. 

You walked up a set of elegant marble stairs, deciding upstairs may be your best option so not to get caught. Two long corridors led off the stairs, with doors leading off each side. You were looking for an office, that would be the place any paperwork would be kept. You would need letters, or meeting schedules. Something to prove a link. 

You turned left, and hit the jackpot with the first try. Senator Parreño’s home office.You pushed the door open slowly, checking nobody had followed you before going inside. The office was immaculate, just as grand as the rest of the house. A large portrait of Maria’s family hung over the back of the desk, all of their eyes watching you as you searched through the room. 

The room was full of things. One wall taken up by a set of shelves full of books and photographs and different trinkets of different sides. A leather couch sat in the window overlooking the gardens. 

You came to the desk last. The top was clear of anything bar a photo of his wife, a line of pens and a rolodex. You flicked through it, found nothing of interest. 

You stood up to find something you could use to pick the locks when you heard heavy footsteps from outside the door. You stood still for a moment, hoping to hear the footsteps go in the opposite direction down the hall. They got closer. 

Before you were caught red handed, you made your escape. Racing to the door, you hoped you would have enough time to slip out without being caught. Quietly as possible, you opened the door.

“Isabela,” María’s father’s voice came from behind you as you shut the door. You turned around quickly, smiling innocently.

“Hi Mr Parreño!” You exclaimed, “Do you know where the bathroom is? I can’t find it?” 

“It’s not in there,” He looked at your hand on the door, which you quickly removed and stepped away from.

“You’re house is just huge. I can’t ever seem to remember where I am going here,” You laughed nervously, “I’ll try down the hall,” You turned around and began to walk away, your 

“I’d learn to be more careful, Agent,” The senator said after you. Your heart stopped. Slowly, you turned back around to face him again, “I guess you are here for my daughter’s stupid boyfriend?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You said slowly, your mouth slow to catch up with your brain which was already working out the multiple ways to get out of the house safely. 

“You can quit your act, I won’t say anything,” He laughed dryly. 

“No act,” You shook your head, “I didn’t lie, I really don’t know what you are talking about. I am not here investigating Diego. María invited me” 

“I remembered where I saw you. You were with those DEA agents,” 

“I work with them sometimes, we’re friends,” You shrugged. 

“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” He was on to you

“I’m sorry but I really do need the bathroom, if you could direct me there that would be great. I’ve had far too much to drink,” 

“Down there, fourth on the right,” 

“Thank you,” You walked away quickly, heart thumping against your ribcage at an alarming rate. He knew who you were! He knew exactly who you were! 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You cursed under your breath. 

You quickly spiralled, thinking off all the worst possible things that could happen now. Parreño would tell someone else who you were, maybe he would do something now. You were alone, neither Peña or Murphy knew where you were, out in the middle of nowhere it would be pretty simple to get rid of your body. You didn’t even find any evidence, you reasoned with yourself and he wouldn’t want any suspicion to his name. He probably wouldn’t kill you. 

Taking another deep breath as you tried to calm your rattling heart. Your hands gripped the cold porcelain of the sink and slowly you relaxed again. You couldn’t go back out looking like you were scared, that would give you up entirely. You looked at your face in the mirror, at least outwardly you didn’t look too bad. Your makeup had shifted a little but you still looked ok. You were fine. 

After another round of deep breaths and a pep talk to yourself, you stepped out of the bathroom and put a game face on. 

“Isabela! You’re back!” María exclaimed as you returned to the group. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Your voice was not convincing as you watched the senator walk past. He looked at your briefly, a knowing glint in his eye as he clocked you. “Can I have some?” You nodded to the coke on the table as an impulsive and reckless idea came into your head. There was no way he could continue to think you were DEA if you did this. Either that or he would just think you were an idiot and not press you again. 

“Finally you stop being a complete baby! Come here!” María cheered. 

You stood up and stepped over to where María was knelt. You joined her on the floor, watching carefully as she lined the powder up with a card from the table. She presented it to you with a flourish, laughing again. 

Surprisingly, you were not scared. The adrenaline of the close call was pacing through your veins. Your mind was so full of fear and anxiety, the idea of finally getting some relief was enticing.

You felt calm, no anxiety in your body holding you back anymore you took the drug from the table. You made a face of discomfort and spluttered a bit when it hit the back of your throat. The people around you laughed, but you didn’t feel embarrassed. It took a moment, but soon you felt the effects. All inhibition and anxiety left your body, you felt lighter and buzzing with energy. 

“See, it’s good right?” Maria smiled. You nodded enthusiastically. 

--

You woke up the next morning, tired and hungover. You couldn’t remember much of the night, but turning over to see Carlos naked next to you gave you a good idea of what had happened. He drove you back to Medellin a few hours later, his sports car was a very nice change from the cars you usually drove in. He was a sweet guy and you talked the entire journey home.

“Will I see you again?” He asked as he pulled up a little way from your apartment. You pretended to think about it for a moment, before breaking into a smile and nodding. “Perfect,” He smiled. You got out of the car, the happy smile not leaving your face as you waved and walked away. 

You watched his car pull away before turning in the direction of your apartment. You still had an identity to hide afterall, even if he was nice you couldn’t let him see where you actually lived. There was still a threat of Parreño exposing you, if Carlos knew where  you lived too it was only a matter of time before everyone would be in danger too.

“So that’s where you were,” Javier called out to you across the street as you approached. He sat on the steps of the apartment building, enjoying the sunshine, smoking and drinking a beer. “Getting laid,”

“Not jealous are you, Javi?” You smirked. 

“No! You’re an adult you can do what you want,” He said with a laugh. A jealous twinge in his chest caught him off guard but he couldn’t let you know that, “You look nice by the way, it’s a cute dress,” 

“Thanks,” You blushed a little. He shuffled out the way to let you pass him and climb the stairs. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me,”

“Sure,” You shut the door behind you leaving Javi alone again. He sighed heavily, blowing out his smoke. He never got jealous, but you had done something to him.  He initially put the feeling down the worry. He was concerned for you, going undercover was not something you should be doing at all and from the small amounts you had told him it could be more dangerous than you had first thought. But seeing you step out of that car, seeing you kiss the driver, he knew it was jealousy. 

He wanted to have you close all the time, to protect you. You were perfectly capable of protecting yourself, and had shown that on many occasions but the idea of someone else holding you the way he had made him feel sick. That feeling in turn made him angry. He shouldn’t be feeling any type of way towards you, you were a team mate. He was your mentor. 

He’d brought it all on himself, he shouldn’t have ever invited you in that night. He would have to suffer through the feeling until it went away, you could never know.

--

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[rpd-rookie]

After all things he saw and been through, Leon could use some rest... So how about Leon x reader on vacation in some remote, distant place, phone turned off, Hannigan banned from contacting him over new assignments? I guess it would be perfect for post-Vendetta? I don't really care it it's going to be fluff, smut or whatever - I just want him to take his time off and simply enjoy his leave, wherever he'd go. ^_~

Author’s note: Sorry about the long wait. This OS actually became so long I decided to make it a 2 or 3 chapters long fanfic. Here’s the first prt. Hoping you’ll love it.

Warning: Angst, Mention of Alcoholism and Depression, Language, Mention of sex.

Information : Y/SN = your second name

Holidays - Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!Reader

A fresh marine breeze entered the room through the ajar French window, flapping the white muslin curtains like two small sails. It caressed his clammy naked body and a salty smell came to tickle his nose, reminding him a time when, as a kid, he used to go visit his grandparents in their small beach house in South Carolina, a time that was far gone but that he kept close to his heart.           And so he sprawled on the mattress, a bit like a funny starfish, his blue eyes still shut, trying to linger in his memory and in his bed a little longer, at least until Hunnigan calls him to warn him not to be late to another umpteenth appointment with his DSO colleagues or the president.           Only when he felt a delicate hand brush his hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear like his mother used to do when he was a child, and finally met a pair of gorgeous (colour) eyes did he realise two things.   One, Hunnigan won’t call this morning. Two, holidays were awesome.

Part 1: THE MEETING

           Scott Rossi. That was the name he had given when he had registered in this remote cottage-like hotel three days ago on the north coasts of Nova Scotia. Nothing original and probably too easy to guess – it was his father’s first name and his mother last name after all. A fake identity he had judged necessary to disappear from the DSO’s radar for a little while.     He needed to be left alone. For his wellness and his sanity even though a part of him knew drinking his sorrow away wasn’t what was best for that so-called wellness he wanted back. But it was the only solution he had found to forget. Forget about New York. Forget about the car bombing in DC. Forget about that bullet he put in President Benford’s head. Forget about everything that had led him here, drinking in this bar. But the road to forgetting was hard and the escape too momentary. And the more whisky he poured in his glass to more he seemed to drown in his bottomless pit of pain and depression.           “Tough day or you’re just not confident in your masculinity?” Usually, Leon would have ignored such a nosy question, the same way he would have ignored another over-curious judgy person, with characteristic stoicism. But there was something in that question, something in that voice - though he couldn’t pinpoint what - that made him look up from the amber liquid in his glass. Perhaps was it the strangeness of that question. Or perhaps was it that voice, confident and full of nerve, reminding Leon of old times, old friends, bold young agents and femme fatales. Or perhaps, was it simply because she was a woman and God knew how much Leon couldn’t ignore one, wasted or not.     She was a (hair colour) with piercing (colour) eyes, wearing a long marine blue coat over a nice black dress. Elegant. Self-assured. Pretty. Very pretty … Actually too pretty to hang out in some lousy hotel bar like the one she was in right now. A city girl maybe. “Excuse me?”           “The whisky. My father used to say it’s a drink for fags.” Leon’s eyes widened briefly and she added, unsettled by his surprise as if she had expected it. “But then again, my father was an asshole who didn’t know shit about anything. So tough day, huh?” Leon snickered and remained surprisingly troubled for a few second. Needless to say, he wasn’t used being caught off guard like that. “More like tough life” He finally corrected. She nodded and, unable to resist curiosity – even though she had the impression the man was certainly not the kind to easily open up to strangers -  quickly went to sit closer to him bringing her tequila along with her. “I’m all ears.”   “I don’t need a therapy.” His tone was curt and harsh and he took a sip of whisky looking away from her, thinking she would get the message and leave him to finish his fancy bottle of Glenfiddich in peace. But she did not move and simply waited, her observing eyes set on him as if she was trying to read his mind or something.       He glanced towards her only to see her sigh and take off her coat like an insect would shed their skin, offering Leon the sight of her beautiful wasp-like body covered in black silk, a sight that didn’t leave him indifferent. After all, she had an exquisite silhouette. Curvy with a narrow waist that her skin-tight black dress could bring out with ease. “Let me guess, after fifteen years of marriage, your wife cheated on you with your best friend because you were the kind of man who lived for his job instead of his family and now he’s taking care of your kids in your own house and they call him daddy.”         “Couldn’t be moooore wrong.” He had a quick laugh, not because he thought her soap opera-like story was amusing but because he actually never imagined someone would picture him married with kids. Did he look the type? He didn’t think so. “Maybe. But at least now I know you’re not married.” Leon glanced at her again, astonished by her audacity. No one had ever flirted with him that way. Though he wasn’t even sure she was flirting. “Are you sweet-talking me or something?”         She shrugged her

shoulders leaving the place for any sort of answer and Leon said “You know, you could have just look at my hand.”     “I did actually but I just wanted to make sure.” She had a quick seductive smile and smoothly bent towards Leon who peeped at her décolletage for a second before focusing on his drink again. “By the way, is shooting a hobby or part of your job?” Leon froze, his glass half way between the counter and his lips and stared at her. “How …”             “The calluses on your fingertips. Only a shooter has that kind of hands.” He couldn’t help but be impressed and after drinking his whisky in one go, he naturally sat up straight on his stool to scrutinize her, suddenly more that interested in that mysterious girl. “You’re observant.”   “Y/N actually.” She extended her hand and, after a short hesitation, he shook it with an amused smile, undeniably seduced by that cheeky attitude that suited her so well. Her skin was so soft and cold against his, he instinctively kept her hand in his to warm it up. A lovely gesture yet certainly a bit inappropriate. Either way, the girl said nothing and let him hold her hand. “I’m L… Scott. I’m Scott” He finally replied as he let go of her hand, slightly uncomfortable. “ Fine, then I’m Y/SN.”     Leon frowned, his face showing a mix of confusion and amusement. “You just said your name was Y/N.”         “Yeah but that was before you chose to lie.” She grimaced, emptied her shot of tequila and called the waiter with a small hand gesture to ask for a refill, not even slightly disappointed in Leon for lying. “I didn’t lie.” Not really. She put down her hand as she realised the barman, who was flirting with a man at the end of the counter, would not notice her.     “Of course you did. But I’ll allow it. I guess that’s just another silly way to cope with your tough life for a night. Though, it seems it’s as useless as alcohol” She took Leon’s glass and emptied it without looking away from the agent.       “I’m trying to enjoy my holidays at the fullest.” He confessed and that was the truth. “Is it working?” She placed the glass, now stained with her lipstick, in front of him and he shrugged, showing her the bottle of alcohol by his side before pouring himself another drink. “No, not really.”             “Thought so.”            

She took the whisky again, this time from Leon’s hand but he did not protest. He didn’t care about that damn liquor. He could definitely afford another bottle. The company however … He knew he would never find another girl like the one sitting next to him. “So, Y/N. What are you doing here?” He asked, his eyes fixed upon her face. “Who’s Y/N?” She replied with a cheeky wink and Leon smiled and chuckled. It hadn’t done that in a while.  “Are we really gonna play this lie the whole night?” Part of him hoped so. There was something endearing and refreshing in that little game, the same way there was something terribly irresistible in that girl.       “You wanna spend the whole night with me? Who told you I was that kind of girl?” She harrumphed, hand over her heart like an amazingly lame actress, an overly dramatic gesture that was certainly intended.         “You’re impossible.” Leon confessed but there was no hint of criticism or annoyance, quite the opposite. He was actually having fun drinking here with that girl he didn’t know. “No. I’m just a girl pretending to be someone she’s not – aka Y/SN - talking to a man named Scott who just lost his wife and kids to his best friend.”           “Not just his wife and kids, his dog too. A beagle. Poppy.” She laughed, getting the tiny nod to John Wick and he looked glad that she did. “And what’s Y/SN’s backstory?”             “I found yours. You could at least found mine.” She retorted and let him think. And for a second, as she stared at him scratching his stubble, finding him insanely handsome, she realised he hadn’t touch his drink in a small while. Good.   “Y/SN is a college student with unresolved daddy issues trying to get the attention of a man possibly twice her age to cope with the fear of abandonment his father left her with when he left her and her mom.”         “Was Dad an alcoholic?” She declared on purpose, just to see if the word would trigger his desire to drink. It incredibly did not.   “Might explain why you’re so interested in a loser like me.”

She stayed the whole night with him. Talking. Playing. Flirting in ways only she could do. Creating an undeniable connection, a sharp sexual tension that only a man deprived of all senses would have missed. She gave him a signal (if not more) with her eyes, called him with her lips. And he responded with a similar technique, a similar enthusiasm. And at the end of the night, when she got up from her stool and kissed him goodbye, right at the corner of his lips, she realised she could potentially spend the hottest night of her life if she chose to lead him in her room. After all, it was no secret for either of them. She wanted to fuck him and he wanted to fuck her.           But a part of her decided to play hard to get, decided that this night would be a sweet game, a foreplay in their roleplay. And luckily for her, he was a player. Just like her.

[lassieposting]

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

[spidermanifested]

remember when i said in my post about how bido is unappreciated that id talk about why greed/bido is a good and important ship but thats a whole other post. well This is that post

the first and most important reason that greed/bido is a good ship is very simple and that reason is Bido Was In Love With Greed The Whole Time And Nobody Noticed?????? how come nobody noticed. i mean SOME people noticed but nowhere NEAR enough people noticed

when greed compliments bido for successfully proving that alphonse is just a soul bound to a suit of armor, he blushes and acts very flustered and happy. unfortunately this scene is not animated in either show (bido talking to greed is changed to be over the phone in 03, and in brotherhood the scene just gets skipped, HOWEVER theres a single shot of bidos face in one of greeds flashbacks that shows him blushing and looking directly at the camera. ie at greed)

also in the manga his first thought when the military shut down the nest was to worry about whether greed SPECIFICALLY was okay (i used this page in my other post as well but its important)

and in brotherhood he was shown to have actually followed greed through the sewers during his fight with bradley but could only watch from his hiding place as greed was defeated and taken away; remembering this is what gives him the determination to hitch a ride to central to look for him

did i mention he went all the way to central to find him!!! clinging to a MILITARY TRUCK no less. as a very obvious chimera if he had been found by any of those soldiers it would have been horrible for him and every other time we ever saw bido faced with danger he ran away from it. but he was brave For Greed. he went into the labyrinth under central For Greed, and didnt try to escape until he was convinced greed wasnt there. and when it turned out he WAS there (and had lost his memory and had been trying to kill him) he immediately dropped his guard and walked closer to him because that was greed and he trusted him despite everything that had just happened. in the manga he grabs onto greeds coat as he dies and it is just about the saddest thing ive ever seen in my whole life

and then of course greed starts physically shaking because what he just did was so awful his body knows he fucked up before his mind even remembers Why it was fucked up and he cradles bidos body in his arms and screams. unfortunately if we are to acknowledge bido as the gay icon he was, we also must acknowledge that he was buried

(by all rights bido SHOULD have survived. where is the fanfiction where he survives fullmetal alchemist fandom or are you too busy writing the same royai-gets-married-and-has-babies fic over and over again. actually never mind i greatly prefer that to all the pedophilia. but thats another Other post, that unlike this incredibly niche topic some other people have almost definitely made before me)

the thing about grido is you could make a huge tragic thing about it being unrequited and frankly thats Fair, greed does not seem one to settle down in a relationship and bido likely has a lot of self worth issues that would prevent him from confessing his feelings. but you cannot deny that greed cared about him. he praises him, he pats him on the head (!!)

he COMPLETELY breaks down after he realizes he killed him. bido was so important to greed, as were the rest of the chimeras of course but i think theres a valid argument to be made that bido in particular was special to him. theyve got a few things in common actually that i find interesting:

both like to just chill on roofs??? when greed is in lings body he sometimes just hangs out on top of a roof. bido does this too

they could have hung out on roofs together.......maybe thats why greed likes to be up there. because he hung out with bido on roofs a lot. please consider this possibility

both of them are accidentally rude to children. the same children in fact

greed is like 200 and looks 30 while bido is middle-aged and people think he is a baby for some reason?????

okay this is just straight up a headcanon and has no actual basis in the text or subtext of fma but I Think Bido Is Trans and was cast out by his family in his youth and greed would understand that experience!!!! having left his own terrible family because they wanted him to be someone he wasnt

and then there are the differences:

greed is very outgoing and bido is mostly pretty anxious, though he has outbursts of confidence; that might be because greed being nice to him has built up his self-esteem (the way he calls himself cool/awesome when he escapes from the elrics, directly followed by greed complimenting his skills, really makes me think this is the case)

one is tall and lean........the other...is short and fat....... i know its cliche but let me have this

bido overthinks things. greed is a jock. with their powers combined they can do things at a mostly reasonable pace (as long as bido doesnt just go along with whatever greed wants which is probably most of the time what happens)

bido is outwardly inhuman and weird-looking but is incredibly caring and hard-working and loyal and sweet. greed is the sexiest motherfucker alive but hes literally the personification of a deadly sin and at his core he is technically just a rock made of pain. but below these layers both of them want the exact same thing which is to care about others and be cared for in return

also you know that post about how ships between immortal people and super young adults (or worse, teenagers) are OUT and instead we should have stories about immortal people dating 40-something accountants. bido is the 40-something accountant. except not an accountant. you know what im getting at though hes an Established Adult 

and bido DESERVES it, he deserves to be loved by the person he cares about more than anything, he has been through so much and gotten nothing but pain and he needs something good for a change!!! and greed DESERVES someone who will love him with all his heart and make him feel wanted no matter what. just, listen to me okay, they would make each other so happy

so!!! there are MANY reasons this ship is interesting and a million different ways you could go about exploring it and there is just NONE of it out there. for some reason the chimera that gets shipped the most with greed is dolcetto (though ive seen martel as well) and i think that is probably because they are more attractive to people (and also id wager more than a few dollars people simply see a dogman and his boss and go wild for the petplay angle). like you dont see any greed/roa either and thats very telling since roa appears with the other two almost every time and nothing about him is different except hes older and not as. pretty i guess???? in my humble onion hes hotter than either dolcetto or martel but thats neither here nor there

the important thing about bidos relationship to greed is that he might not have been transmuted with an animal with a strong sense of loyalty, but he didnt NEED to be, to be loyal to greed. he loved him entirely because he was human. and in the end he did the most for him out of any of the chimeras. unfortunately it was via dying but through the power of imagination we can collectively ignore that and pretend both he and greed survived, and greed went back to his original sexy, sexy body, and they made out on a roof for several consecutive hours. thats how im coping at least. thank you so much for listening to my unhinged rambling about lizard man who dies of fullmetal alchemist (gay edition)

[wheresmynaya]

Lost in the Lights Ch.12|Brittana

A/N - Sorry this took forever but better late than never, right? I’m literally posting this right before I leave for work so I hope I don’t forget anything LOL. Thank you all for being patient! Not sure how I feel about this chapter but I'm sure you'll let me know if I've lost my touch 😅

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) wattpad (x) & under the cut!

Two days go by after the Titans’ big win over Crawford County Day and Brittany is starting to wonder how soon is soon for Santana. She spends Thanksgiving with her family at her grandparents’ house watching football and stuffing her face with all kinds of good food and for awhile it’s enough to distract her from constantly checking her phone.

It’s a quiet day filled with random moments of sadness because her dad isn’t there to drag her and Pete outside for a quick game during halftime like he usually would. He’s not there to carve the turkey or start up with the Christmas music despite their mom’s protest, but they all set a place for him at the head of the table as if he were just running a little late.

It’s the weirdest feeling ever to know that he’s not coming.

Black Friday comes and goes in the same way. Whitney breaks out all the Christmas decorations in anticipation for the holidays which have snuck up on all of them. Pete’s as excited as always and Brittany would be too if it weren’t for the melancholy.

It’ll be their first Christmas without him, just like it was their first Thanksgiving, and Brittany’s not sure how she’s going to cope with that just yet. She’s strong and she usually speaks up when she’s ready to talk about how she hurts, but she has a hard time when it comes to her dad. Everyone in the family hurts, it’s only a matter of it getting easier to cope with as time goes on.

It’s hard to pretend sometimes that she’s over the denial of it all. Sometimes she thinks she doesn’t have any more tears left to cry when it comes to her dad, but she always surprises herself in the end. It’s true what they say about grief, it does come in waves and Brittany longs for the day they only feel like ripples.

 \\

On top of the holiday blues starting to settle in, there’s also everything going on between her and Santana. In the two days that have passed since the game on Wednesday, she hasn’t heard from Santana at all.

At first, Brittany figured it was because she was busy. With Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping madness, things can get hectic so she was understanding like always. However, now that it’s going on Day 3 and her texts and calls have still gone unanswered, her patience has started to run thin – now she’s just annoyed.

Her head is coming up with all kinds of reasons for Santana’s silence. Did she get scared off after their talk after the game? Was she really needing all this time to work out what she wants? Maybe she got kidnapped and is being held for ransom?

That last one is a little ridiculous, but what else is Brittany meant to think? Everything that they talked about that night wouldn’t have led to a cold shoulder, not after Santana said all of those things about dates and flowers.

She likes Brittany, she said it herself, so why would she be giving her the silent treatment?

If Santana isn’t going to answer her phone or return a text, Brittany will just have to take matters into her own hands and find out herself!

\\

When Brittany arrives on Santana’s door step later that afternoon, all that bravado from earlier starts to dwindle. She’s been here once before with Pete, but now that she’s alone and doesn’t have her cute little brother to lean on it’s kind of scary.

Brittany has heard the rumors about Santana’s family and it makes her nervous – like she’s coming in from the wrong side of the tracks. Brittany definitely didn’t grow up in a similar fashion as Santana so she isn’t sure what to expect. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time rumors have been wrong about a Lopez.

Still, Brittany didn’t want to take any chances in case she was wrong and Santana’s parents actually are the worst. Who knows if Santana’s parents would be around, but if they were Brittany wanted to make sure she made a good first impression. Her dad always said the first one was the most important so she spent extra time trying to look presentable.

And all this because Santana wouldn’t return a call or text?

She’s going to owe her big time if this ends up being something silly.

\\

After a big deep breath, Brittany gives a firm knock on the front door before taking a step back. With her head held high, she braces herself for whoever is bound to answer.  

A broad-shouldered man with his shiny black hair neatly coifed opens the door a moment later and Brittany’s heart nearly jumps to her throat. His brow quirks in a similar fashion as Santana’s when she’s being critical of someone and it makes Brittany gulp.

So much for steering clear of any judgement…

“Can I help you?” He asks, his voice deep and unwavering.

Brittany doesn’t know why she scared shitless right now because he hasn’t really done anything to scare her but she is. She hopes it doesn’t show though as she gives him her best smile.

“Hi, I was wondering if Santana was home?” Brittany answers politely, “I’m Br – “

“Brittany?”

Santana’s voice can be heard before she’s seen wedging herself between the man and the front door. She’s dressed so casually in dark jeans and a sweater, a stark comparison to the Cheerios uniform Britany’s so used to seeing her in but the blonde is so relieved that she’s there.

Santana looks a little shocked to see Brittany standing there on her doorstep though.

Brittany continues to smile at Santana although the man frowns and looks to the side.

“Did you invite her here? You’re grounded, Santana, that means no – “

“Who is it?” Another voice calls out, “Why are you all standing by the door?”

Santana gives an apologetic look to Brittany before she’s turning away to answer, “It’s Brittany, Mami.”

“Oh! Really?” The woman sounds equally surprised before the man steps to the side too. Out comes this woman who looks just like Santana only a little older. She smiles brightly, “Brittany, hi. I’m Maribel, Santana’s mom. This is Hector, her dad.”

Brittany looks between the three of them and smiles nervously. She wasn’t expecting to meet the entire family all at once, “Nice to meet you both.”

They all stand there for a moment and Brittany isn’t sure what’s happening right now or what all the tension she feels means. Hector continues to eye Brittany while Maribel looks delighted to see her.

Santana’s just looking back and forth between her parents like a lost little girl.

It has Brittany backpedaling, “I – I’m sorry, was I interrupting something? I could come back – “

“No, come in. Please,” Maribel gestures, “We’re just about to sit down for a late lunch.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t –“ Brittany says at the same time Hector speaks.  

“Santana is grounded remember?” He says, “She’s not meant to have any visitors.”

Maribel only waves him off, “It’s Thanksgiving, Hector, it’s fine. Brittany, will you join us?”

Brittany shifts awkwardly. She can’t really find it in her to say no to Santana’s mom; she seems really nice, but super intimidating at the same time.

Hector is just intimidating in general, but a chance to spend time with Santana has Brittany leaning towards a yes.

“Uhm, okay. Sure!” Brittany answers.

Maribel beams, “Great!”

Brittany watches her shoo Hector to the side so that she can invite Brittany in. Santana lingers near her mom also watching this unfold with this curious look on her face.

“It’s only Thanksgiving leftovers,” Maribel explains, “But I make a great panini with them.”

Brittany smiles at her, “Sounds awesome. I’ve never had one before.”

“Really? Well good! Come Hector,” Maribel instructs, “Help me in the kitchen.”

Hector looks back and forth between Maribel and the girls with this confused look on his face, “But Santana is – “

“Let her have this,” Maribel insists in a hushed voice that even has Brittany’s neck hairs standing on end.

Hector nods obediently before following his wife to the kitchen which leaves Santana and Brittany alone in the living room.

Brittany turns back to Santana with raised brows, “So…you’re grounded?”

Santana rolls her eyes, “Yeah. Word got back to them about my little disagreement with Karofsky and Azimio…and whoever else was on the field that night. Dad’s pissed because I keep causing scenes, but Mom’s proud that I care about someone else other than Quinn and myself.”

“Wow,” Brittany chuckles awkwardly, “Well…I guess that would explain a lot. I though you were ignoring me.”

Santana’s shoulders drop, “I’m sorry. It happened so quickly, I couldn’t warn you that I didn’t have my phone anymore.”

Brittany nods, relieved that this wasn’t something bigger. It was purely a misunderstanding.

“I’ve missed you,” Santana whispers through a small smile that makes Brittany blush. Her hands are wringing themselves out and she kicks at the floor so bashfully that Brittany would laugh if she wasn’t so smitten, “Uh…how was your Thanksgiving?”

“It was okay,” Brittany answers shortly, not wanting to touch on how many times she secretly cried about missing her dad, “Just hung out with my family at my grandparents’ house and started Christmas decorating. I missed talking to you though.”

“You did?” Santana looks amazed which has Brittany giggling.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Brittany smirks, “Talking to you is my favorite.”

It’s Santana’s turn to blush at that but just before she replies, Maribel’s voice interrupts them.

“Girls!” Maribel calls out, “It’s ready.”

The grin Santana wears instantly falls as she goes to inhale deeply, almost as if she’s preparing herself for something big to happen. It worries Brittany.

“What’s that for?” Brittany jokes lightly, “Did I just get myself into something I shouldn’t have?”

“We’ll see,” Santana chuckles nervously before leading the way to the dining room.

\\

Brittany and Santana sit next to each other on one side of the table while Maribel sits opposite them and Hector sits at the head. The tension is still there from before and Brittany’s not sure why that is, but she focuses on her manners and continues to be polite.

Despite only eating sandwiches, the antique China cabinets and ornate dining set make the meal feel way more formal than it actually is. They drink fresh lemonade out of crystal glasses and eat off of the thinnest plates Brittany’s ever seen.

She feels like she might break something with just one touch and it puts her on edge a little, but then Santana’s hand find its way on her knee. She gives it a gentle squeeze and it’s almost enough to relieve some of Brittany’s anxiousness. It’s the hardest thing ever for Brittany to keep her eyes forward instead of watching Santana’s hand move.

“This looks really good, Mrs. Lopez,” Brittany compliments.

“Thank you, Brittany,” The woman replies with a smile, “And please, call me Maribel.”

“Of course,” Brittany nods and everyone digs in.

It’s kind of funny how they’re in such a fancy looking dining room yet they’re all eating with their hands. Maybe this isn’t as formal as Brittany thought?

“So Brittany,” Hector starts after wiping his mouth with the napkin laid in his lap, “Santana says you play football?”

Brittany gulps the last of her bite and nods, “Yes sir, I do.”

He hums and Brittany’s not sure what that means. He’s just as hard to read as Santana can be sometimes, but thankfully Maribel steps in.

“Quarterback, is that right?”

Brittany smiles, “Yes. That’s right.”

“And your parents are okay with that?” Hector asks with just a hint of disbelief in his tone.

Santana stiffens at the question, but Brittany’s no stranger to it.

“Yes sir,” Brittany answers proudly, “My dad always said if you can play the game well then you should. Judging by my stats, I think I do pretty well.”

Hector hums again but Brittany’s not sure if that’s in approval or not. She’s thinking it’s the latter just by the tone of his question and she knows it shouldn’t make her feel small but it kind of does.

“I’d never let my daughter play such a rough sport,” He says dismissively.

Brittany looks to Santana but it seems like she’s just focused on constantly keeping her mouth full. It’s a good tactic, Brittany should’ve thought of that first.

“Cheerleading is pretty rough,” Brittany shrugs casually, “I don’t think it gets enough credit really, you have to be pretty athletic. I think I was injured more times cheering than I have while playing football.”

Her answer seems to take everyone by surprise and Brittany fights the urge to smirk. A girl being able to do both – cheer and play football? – that’s unheard of, right? Brittany chuckles on the inside, secretly loving how she can shut down stereotypes.

“Well…” Hector sighs, seemingly stumped for the moment, “I suppose all sports have their risks.”

“True! I think the Cheerios’ drills might even be a little more intense that what I have to do with the Titans,” Brittany replies with a glance towards Santana, “I couldn’t imagine doing what Santana does every practice. I can see why she’s been Co-Captain for so long.”

“Santana’s such a hard worker,” Maribel agrees, “We’re very proud of her accomplishments.”

“I bet there’s a ton of them too,” Brittany jokes. When she sees Santana’s dimples all on display it makes her entire day.

“Stop it,” Santana whispers through flushed cheeks.

God, Brittany just wants to kiss her.

“So Brittany,” Hector says as he aims the focus back onto Brittany, “What do your parents do?”

“Well, my mom works at a diner at the moment while she tries to get her Real Estate license in order,” Brittany answers, “There’s been some mix up with the paperwork so it’s taking a little longer than usual, but she doesn’t mind the change in work since it’s temporary.”

Hector hums while Maribel smiles, “Which diner does she work at?”

“I think it’s called Frank’s?”

“Ah yes, I know the one,” Maribel nods, “Great coffee.”

“And what about your father?” Hector asks stiffly, “What does he do for work?”

Santana glances to Brittany as the blonde answers, “Well, my dad died earlier this year so…”

“Oh,” Maribel frowns, “I’m so sorry, Brittany.”

Hector nods too, seemingly a little guilty for prying, “My condolences.”

Santana just reaches over and squeezes at Brittany’s knee again and it makes this all feel just a little less awkward. Brittany’s always hated this part of the conversation, she never knows what to say.

“Thanks,” Brittany replies, trying to force a smile.

The awkward silence lingers a little longer before Santana reaches over to top up everyone’s glass with lemonade. It doesn’t take long before Hector asks another question.

“What are your plans after graduation? Will you continue playing football?”

“I hope so,” Brittany answers honestly, “I know it’s a crazy dream, but I want to play at the college level. A couple of scouts had their eye on me at my old school, but I don’t know if they’ll follow me here. It’ll look really good if I can bring home a Championship win for McKinley though – especially for the Titans considering their long dry spell.”

Hector nods, “Yes, I don’t believe the Titans have won in many, many years. It’s part of the reason why they brought Coach Beiste in, but it doesn’t look like she’s been able to end the drought either.”

“It’s probably because she didn’t have the right person leading the team,” Santana replies, “Like Brittany.”

Brittany quirks her brow at the sassy tone before looking to Hector to see what he’ll do.

“You know Brittany made Team Captain after her third week?” Santana adds as she sends Brittany a proud smile, “It took Finn Hudson an entire semester before he was made.”

“Wow! That’s amazing, Brittany,” Maribel compliments, “You must be a born leader.”

“She is,” Santana answers instead, “Brittany’s the perfect person to end the Titans’ drought.”

Brittany tries to keep the smirk from growing when she realizes what Santana’s doing and instead watches out for Hector’s reaction. He only narrows his eyes at Santana before looking back down at his plate.

The tension is palpable again so Brittany quickly fills the awkward silence.

“It’ll be an important game for a lot of people so I hope we can make something happen,” Brittany says, “Coach Beiste is really great and most of the team is really hard working. There are rumors that a recruiter from Ohio State might be there too.”

“We should watch, Hector!” Maribel suggests, “It’ll be history in the making.”

“Maybe, if I’m not working,” Hector responds with a shrug, “So if this scout doesn’t pick you up, then what? I’m sure you have back up plans. It would be silly not to.”

“Hector,” Maribel chastises.

“What’s the harm in asking?” He defends.

Brittany gives Maribel and Santana an assuring smile before responding, “It would be kind of silly, wouldn’t it? I have other interests too that I can fall back on if football doesn’t work out for me.”

“Like?”

“Papi,” Santana begs.

But again, Brittany isn’t too bothered. This time she’s the one to give Santana an inconspicuous squeeze to her knee.

“I do pretty well in math and science,” Brittany answers, “I got a near perfect score on my SAT too. I only struggle with English but Santana helps me with that. She’s a really great tutor.”

“Thanks,” Santana grins.

“College isn’t just about playing football,” Brittany adds, “I doubt I’ll be getting into the NFL so I do have other plans. I’ve always loved animals; one of my other dreams is to be a vet or marine biologist. Someone who helps those that can’t help themselves, you know?”

Hector looks surprisingly impressed by Brittany’s answer.

“Are we done with the 21 questions now?” Santana quips which earns her a glare from her mom this time.

“I’m just curious,” Hector replies as he cracks a smile for the first time, “Small town, Brittany, everyone knows everyone. It’s rare that I come across someone new.”

“You work in Cincinnati,” Santana retorts, "You meet new people all the time.”

Brittany can tell Santana’s getting more and more wound up for some reason, so she moves to diffuse the situation before Santana can get herself into anymore trouble with her parents.

“It’s okay,” Brittany shrugs, “I don’t mind.”

“See?” Hector waves his hand, “We’re just talking. It’s important to have conversations about options when it comes to college.”

“Is it now?” Santana asks sarcastically, “I wouldn’t know. Seems like your mind was pretty made up when it came to my options.”

Brittany’s brows rise at that tone and her gaze averts right to her plate.

“Who needs options when you’re Harvard-bound?” Hector questions, “There’s no better university.”

“Maybe to you.”

Hector looks taken aback, “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying – “

“Let’s not do this here,” Maribel interrupts.

There’s that familiar motherly tone that makes Brittany’s neck hairs stand on end, but she peeks up to see Santana and Hector standing off through glares while Maribel is giving them one of her own.

Out of the three, Maribel’s is the scariest.

Santana backs down first with a mumbled, “Sorry.”

Hector only takes in a deep breath while Maribel smiles again at Brittany.

“Forgive us, Brittany,” She says.

“It’s cool,” Brittany smiles before chancing a glance in Santana’s direction. The girl is still fuming in silence and Brittany wants nothing more than to comfort her.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Hector says lowly.

“Fine,” Santana huffs.

\\

Thankfully, Hector and Maribel dismiss themselves shortly after and Santana’s left to clean up. Brittany tags along to offer her a hand, but they don’t make any small talk. She can see that Santana’s stuck in her head, but Brittany can understand why. After such a short lunch, she’s starting to see why Santana struggles so much with being herself and owning her feelings.

“I’m sorry about him,” Santana mentions awhile later after the dishes are done.

Brittany tries to make light of it, “I haven’t been grilled like that in awhile.”

“Yeah,” Santana shakes her head, “He isn’t usually like that, but if it’s any consolation you did a lot better than when Puck came over for the first time. You should’ve seen my dad’s face when Puck told him about his plans for college.”

“Why?”

“Puck doesn’t have any,” Santana chuckles, “Afterwards my dad told me I wasn’t allowed to see him anymore.”

Brittany’s eyes widen, “You two dated?”

“I wouldn’t really call it that.”

“Oh.”

“It’s whatever. That was before everything happened,” Santana shrugs before she starts to smirk, “So you never told me you used to cheer.”

“You never asked,” Brittany replies jokingly, “The coach at my old school let me join after the football season finished up. I did that for a year before I decided to stick to training in the off season and work.”

“And you had a job?”

“Yeah,” Brittany laughs, “I made smoothies at this one place. I got free drinks whenever I wanted so that was pretty cool.”

“I’ve never had a job,” Santana admits, “My dad won’t let me.”

Brittany chuckles, “Why am I not surprised by that?”

Santana sends her a playful glare before asking, “So why’d you quit cheering?”

“It’s boring.”

“Boring?” Santana laughs out of disbelief.

“Yeah, it didn’t really challenge me,” Brittany shrugs.

“But the stunts?”

“I’ve already done gymnastics so nothing new to me.”

Santana gives her a look for that, “You must’ve not had the right kind of Captain. “

“You think so?” Brittany raises her brow challengingly.

“I know so,” Santana smirks and slides a little closer, “I can promise you’d never get bored on my squad.”

Brittany bites her lip at the sound of Santana’s flirty tone but she puts some distance between them. After all, they’re still in Santana’s kitchen and who knows where Maribel and Hector are.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Santana asks innocently.

Brittany narrows her eyes although she can’t help but smile, “Flirt with me.”

“I didn’t realize I was.”

“Well, you were and you can’t do that right now,” Brittany says before drying her hands, “I came here because I’m mad at you, but… I guess that was before I knew you were grounded so I can’t really be mad anymore.”

Santana looks confused, “Wait…you’re mad at me? Why?”

Brittany turns away, “It sounds silly now.”

Santana softens at Brittany’s sudden shyness, “Tell me.”

“Well, I thought you were ignoring me on purpose,” Brittany admits guiltily, “You said we would talk soon and then I went two days without hearing from you and…at first I was worried and then I got kind of angry. I thought you might have had…second thoughts.”

“Oh,” Santana breathes out and combs her fingers through her long dark hair, “I’m sorry. Like I said, it happened really quickly – I couldn’t send out a warning or anything.”

“I get that now,” Brittany nods, “Especially after that lunch.”

“Yeah,” Santana says sadly, “I should get my phone back soon, maybe later today if my mom has anything to do with it.”

“Okay,” Brittany replies, “Then maybe we can talk about what we’re doing?”

Santana sighs, “Britt…this is still really new for me. My family isn’t like yours and I’m not like you.”

Brittany starts to frown, “I know that.”

“So you have to stop pressuring me,” Santana replies.  

“Santana,” Brittany sighs as she takes one of her hands, “I wasn’t trying to pressure you, I just don’t want you to get comfortable in hiding who you are.”

Judging by the surprised look on Santana’s face, Brittany’s not sure if she’s just crossed a line she shouldn’t have. She wasn’t trying to be rude, if anything she cares way too much and she just wants Santana to know that.

“I’m sorry,” Brittany says in a softer tone as she runs her thumb over the back of Santana’s hand, “I just…I know how hard it is to venture out of your comfort zone – especially when it comes to this stuff – and I feel like that’s exactly what you were doing. You were getting comfortable with hiding us and with the way I feel about you and knowing how you feel about me…I don’t want to do that.”

Santana looks a little guilty as she nods, “I don’t want to either.”

“I like you,” Brittany admits around a timid grin as she lets go of Santana’s hand, “I really like you and I like kissing you and being around you, but I can only be patient and wait for so long. I’m not asking you to have everything figured out, because who does at our age?”

“Like, no one.”

“Exactly.”

Santana gives her small smile, “There’s that infamous Pierce wisdom again.”

Brittany lifts her shoulder casually at the compliment while Santana just stares at the blonde with this serene look on her face. It kind of makes Brittany feel see-through but in a good way. The kind of way that has her going out on a limb here and voicing exactly what she wants for them.

Brittany nervously bites her lip, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think you and I are awesome together and I wouldn’t mind figuring out stuff with you.”

Santana looks like she’s about to melt into a puddle as she says, “Brittany.”

The blonde has never heard her name sound so pretty, but she guesses it helps when there’s a gorgeous girl saying it. It makes her feel tingly all over and she can’t help but grin.

“We won’t have to label it yet if you don’t want to,” Brittany rambles, “I mean, I’d love to call you my girlfriend because I think it kinda has a nice ring to it but I don’t want to pressure you. I just need to know whether or not we’re an us or still Santana and Brittany.”

Santana flutters her thick lashes as she looks up at Brittany with this look of pure adoration.

“Did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?” Santana asks around a small smile.

Brittany lets out a nervous chuckle as she squeezes the back of her neck, “I think I did – which I didn’t plan on doing but I’m not taking it back now.”

“Good,” Santana replies and that makes Brittany’s smile widen, “I don’t want you to.”

Brittany bites her bottom lip to keep from beaming, “So does that mean…”

Santana giggles as she tugs a little on the bottom of Brittany’s shirt and pulls her in even closer. Her expression turns solemn and Brittany’s smile falters, unsure if that’s a good or bad sign.  

“I can’t promise you that I won’t say the wrong thing again or I won’t disappoint you,” Santana says, “You know I’m still a work in progress and I wish that meant that you didn’t have to worry about me back stepping or getting scared, but I really don’t know.”

Brittany looks worried but she tries to mask it with an, “Okay.”

“But…I can try to be better,” Santana adds sounding a lot more hopeful, “I want to be better. Like I’ve said before, I want to be someone you deserve to be with and if we’re going to do this thing for real then it’s time that I put in the work to show you that. I’ve never really been a great girlfriend in the past, but with you – there’s nothing I want more.”

The overwhelming relief that washes over Brittany is unmatched and all she wants to do is wrap Santana up in the tightest hug ever and kiss her silly, but she’s so surprised by the turn of events that all she can do is stand there and stare dopily.

“Okay,” Brittany says again behind her grin.

Santana laughs before looking around hesitantly. After a glance around the kitchen, she’s rolling up on her tippy toes to place a chaste kiss to Brittany’s cheek. The move surprises the quarterback but she smiles anyway.

“I’m taking that as a yes?” Brittany jokes.

“It’s definitely a yes,” Santana giggles and Brittany can’t stop staring at how cute her dimples are when she’s smiling so brightly. She wants to do everything in her power to make Santana smile like that more often – hopefully she can – but then she sees the time displayed on the microwave and suddenly frowns.

“Crap! I should get going,” Brittany says in a hurry, “I’m supposed to pick up Pete from my grandparents’ house in like five minutes. They’re hosting poker at their place tonight.”

Santana quirks a brow, “Poker?”

“Yeah,” Brittany answers casually, “Pretend you didn’t hear that though. I’m not really supposed to say. My mom doesn’t like when they gamble.”

Santana chuckles at that, “Okay then, let me walk you out.”

As she leads the way, they pass Maribel reading in the living room alone. The woman glances up at them and smiles.

“You heading home now, Brittany?” Maribel asks.

“Almost. I have to pick up my little brother first,” Brittany replies, “Thank you for lunch.”

“Of course, any time!”

“I’m just going to walk Brittany to the car,” Santana says to which Maribel only nods with this knowing smile. It makes Brittany wonder what that is but soon Santana’s nudging her out the door and closing it behind them.

“Geez, can’t get rid of me soon en – “

The closes just in time for Santana to steal a kiss. It catches Brittany off guard but she smiles into anyway, hoping it lasts a little longer than the peck on her cheek in the kitchen.

“I couldn’t do that in there,” Santana explains when she pulls away, “Not yet.”

“Not yet,” Brittany grins, “We can wait awhile to do that in front of your parents. Your dad kind of scares me a little. Actually, your mom does too.”

Santana chuckles, “So could I call you later? You know, if I get my phone back tonight?”

“Sure!”

“Okay cool,” Santana nods happily, “Well…have a safe drive.”

“I will,” Brittany winks before walking to her car. She buckles in and waves one last time to Santana before heading off.

\\\\\

Santana’s heart is a little heavy when she heads back inside despite what just happened in her kitchen. The pure joy and happiness she feels for finally clearing things up with Brittany is great, but it’s not enough to overshadow the impending doom since she opened her big mouth during lunch.  Santana has felt this particular storm brewing for some time now and all she has is her attitude to thank for it to finally happen.

Maribel glances from her book when the front door closes and Santana instantly feels her shoulders sink beneath the weight of what’s to come.

Why couldn’t she have bit her tongue like always? Why’d she have to do this now of all times?

There’s this sympathetic look on Maribel’s face as she sets the book aside.

“Brittany’s a sweet girl,” Maribel mentions like any talk of Brittany is some sort of ice breaker for Santana.

It kind of is now; it’s hard not to smile when the blonde crosses Santana’s mind.

“The sweetest,” Santana agrees bashfully before joining her mom on the couch.

They sit there in silence for a moment and Santana’s not sure what Maribel’s going to say next. Talk of Brittany wasn’t her first choice, but she rather that than the latter – at least while it’s just them sitting there.

“So are you two…a couple?” Maribel asks hesitantly.

Santana’s first instinct is to lie and she really considers going through with it, but she doesn’t. She has to do things differently this time – for her and for Brittany. With Maribel, Santana finds a little comfort and pushes her boundaries.

“Kind of.”

Santana’s answer makes Maribel look back at her quizzically.

“Kind of?” Maribel asks, “That was a yes or no question.”

Santana blushes as she stammers out, “Yes. Yes, we are.”

Maribel smiles proudly, “When did that happen?”

“Just a little while ago,” Santana can’t help but smile, “While we were doing the dishes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Santana’s grin turns bashful, “I…I really like her, Mami. I’ve liked her for awhile now.”

“I can see why. She seems like a great girl,” Maribel winks, “What took you two so long?”

Santana knows Maribel was only joking but it makes her start to frown. She knows she isn’t the easiest person to be with and it takes a special kind of patience to stick it out for as long as Brittany has, but that doesn’t make her feel any less guilty about it.

“It’s complicated,” Santana ends up saying.

Maribel nods like she understands, but Santana doubts she really does.

That’s not on her though, that’s on Santana because she makes every conversation about her feelings so difficult. She’s not sure when the wires got crossed and everything started to feel like pulling teeth to her, but it’s been like this for years and she hates it. It’s like being honest with herself and her feelings meant going against this image she has created over the years.

Santana hates how she has played this role for so long – has tried to live up to everyone’s expectations – that she doesn’t know who she is anymore. Did she ever even know in the first place? The crazy thing is though, with Brittany she can see theses glimpses of her true self – the person she wishes she could be all the time if no one cared about reputations or sexuality.  

Her feelings for Brittany came so easily, it was like the moment she laid eyes on the blonde at Puck’s End of Summer party that was it. Santana was hooked then and there. She didn’t expect Brittany to have that kind of effect on her, but here she is a few months later wanting to be the best version of herself…just so she can be someone Brittany deserves.

And really, it sounds like the biggest task in the world. To sort through everything that makes up Santana and pick out what’s real and what isn’t so that she can finally be herself…it’s a lot. But, she’s making some progress when it comes to her love life and that’s half of the battle. The other half is about her future and she has only begun to voice her true feelings.

Santana picks at a thread that has come loose on her sweater and wonders aloud.

“Is Papi angry with me about what I said?”

There’s a quiet sigh from the opposite end of the couch before Maribel answers, “He’s surprised.”

Santana bites her lip, unsure if that really answers her question. Judging by Hector’s reaction and how abruptly her parents left after lunch, it doesn’t look good for her.

“You should talk to him though,” Maribel adds, “He won’t begin to understand you if you don’t.”

Santana lets out a dry laugh and Maribel quirks her brow at that.

“What’s so funny?”

Santana only shrugs, “I’m just not in the mood for another lecture.”

Maribel straightens up as Santana continues.

“I don’t know how many times I can apologize for things that I’m not actually sorry about,” Santana says, “I wasn’t really sorry for breaking JBI’s camera or starting that fight with those jerks on the football team and I’m not sorry for wanting to go somewhere other than Harvard. I’m not, Mami, and I can’t go up there if an apology is what he wants from me.”

“That is exactly why you need to talk to him. Tell him what you just told me,” Maribel replies before scooting closer to Santana, “Mija, you should never apologize for standing up for yourself. Granted, there’s a certain way to go about it that doesn’t involve your fists or football players three times your size…”

Santana ducks her head, “I’m really working on it.”

“I know you are,” Maribel replies, “But he doesn’t and that’s only because you talk to me more often than you talk to your father.”

Santana crosses her arms protectively over her chest, “He’s so hard to talk to.”

“Doesn’t mean you stop trying.”

“Tell that to him.”

“Go tell him yourself.”

Santana looks wide-eyed at her mom, “Seriously?”

Maribel only reaches for her book, “Yes, seriously.”

“But,” Santana stammers, “He never wants to hear what I have to say and I’m not trying to be grounded for the rest of my life.”

Maribel only chuckles, “You won’t be.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because,” Maribel replies, “One conversation between you two where you actually say what you mean and he actually listens will work wonders and I think now’s the perfect time for that to happen. I think you’re both ready to have that talk.”

Santana bites her lip nervously, “What if it doesn’t work out?”

Maribel looks to Santana and gives her this sympathetic smile, “Then he isn’t the man I married and this might be an even bigger problem than I thought.”

Santana’s brows rise at that but she doesn’t say anything more, just sits there in silence mulling over whether or not she’s brave enough to actually face her dad. With everything currently on her plate, she doesn’t think she’s ready. If anything, she’s drained and thinking about having to go up to Hector’s office and have this talk just makes her feel even more exhausted.

Maribel watches Santana hesitate in leaving and reaches over to pat her ankle, “You don’t have to talk to him today, but don’t leave things unsaid for too much longer. The sooner, the better.”

Santana nods, wondering where she’s heard that before.

\\\\\

Later that night, Brittany’s sprawled out on her bed watching footage of Carmel High’s Championship game from last year. She wants to be more than prepared for their upcoming game in two weeks’ time so putting in this extra work will hopefully help.

Brittany’s about halfway through when her phone starts to ring on her nightstand. She glances to it, not expecting to see the name that pops up and quickly scrambles to answer the call.

“Well, look who got their phone back!”

Santana chuckles down the line, “Yup! I’m officially a free woman…again.”

“Awesome,” Brittany beams as she rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling.

She has been thinking about Santana since the moment she left the Lopez residence. This is her girlfriend and even though she has yet to say the title out loud, just thinking it makes the butterflies in her stomach go crazy.  

“How’d the rest of your day go?”

Brittany tries to recall the past few hours, “Well, Pete kicked my butt in Monopoly. The kid is pretty ruthless, I wonder if he’ll be some big shot business tycoon when he’s older.”

“That’s cute.”

Brittany feels like blushing, “How about yours?”

“It went okay,” Santana hesitates for a moment, “I told my mom about us.”

“You did?” Brittany’s eyes widen and she can’t hide the surprise in her voice.

“Yeah, is that okay? She asked if we were a couple after you left…I didn’t want to lie.”

A smile stretches across Brittany’s face, “Yeah, that’s totally okay! I wasn’t sure if you wanted to tell people yet or…you know.”

“Well, I’m trying out being honest for a change,” Santana replies, “I figure if I have such an amazing girlfriend, why hide it?”

Brittany’s jaw drops and she’s so glad that Santana can’t actually see her right now because she must be a sight to see. She tries to play off being so blindsided by Santana’s glimmer of confidence by moving along the conversation.

“Sorry about leaving so suddenly earlier,” Brittany apologizes.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“So…Harvard, huh?” Brittany mentions, “I didn’t know you wanted to go there.”

“I don’t,” Santana answers with a chuckle.

“Oh,” Brittany moves to sit up against her headboard wondering if this was the right topic to switch to, “Is that why lunch got weird when we started talking about college?”

“Kind of,” Santana sighs, “I haven’t told my dad yet and I probably should’ve instead of the way I brought it up today. I’m supposed to be a doctor like most in my family and Harvard is where they’ve all gone. It’s kind of tradition.”

Brittany frowns, “So traditions aren’t just a Lima thing?”

“Not really, at least when it comes to my family,” Santana explains, “It’s a legacy thing.”

“Is that what you want to do?” Brittany wonders, “Be a doctor too?”

“I’m not sure anymore. I feel like I have to redeem myself for all the crap I’ve put them through and going to Harvard is the guaranteed way to do that.”

“But that’s not fair to you,” Brittany replies, “Especially if it’s not something you really want, or is it?”

Santana lets out a tired sigh, “I’ve spent so much of my life being told what I wanted that I can’t tell if it’s what I really want or what I’m just conditioned to want. I mean, I like helping people but I don’t see myself being a dermatologist like my Dad. Number one, it kind of grosses me out and two…I think it’s boring.”

Brittany giggles at that, “So is there anything else that does interest you? What about one of those kid doctors?”

“Me? Dealing with kids?” Santana lets out a bellyaching laugh, “Not a chance in hell, even if I’m making bank while doing it.”

Brittany finds herself grinning at the sound of Santana loosening up, “Why not?”

“I’m not really the best with kids.”

“Liar,” Brittany teases, “You’re great with Pete!”

“That’s because Pete isn’t like other kids, he’s actually cool. Sick kids can be brats and I’m not down to listen to all that whining.”

Brittany shakes her head and laughs, “Well, from personal experience I think you’d make a great doctor if that’s what you want to be. You’ve taken great care of me a bunch of times.”

“Thanks Britt,” Santana says and the blonde can practically hear the smile she probably wears, “What about you? Any schools your mom is forcing onto you in order to uphold the family legacy?”

“No family legacy here,” Brittany chuckles, “But Ohio State would be cool if I could get a scholarship for football, especially if those scouts looking at me back in Florida don’t pull through.”

“So that’s where you’re from,” Santana jokes, “You’ve never said.”

“Really? I swore I have.”

“No, but it does explain a lot.”

Brittany quirks her brow, “Does it?”

“Definitely. I was thought there was this different air about you,” Santana explains, “It’s probably because you’re one of the few people here who have actually seen the ocean.”

“Wait,” Brittany chuckles, “You’ve never seen the ocean?”

“Nope. I’ve lived in Lima all of my life, never really left either.”

“That’s so crazy!” Brittany gasps, “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that hasn’t seen the ocean. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss it now that I can’t go to the beach anymore. It used to be my favorite place, everyone has to experience it at some point in their life.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to check it.”

Brittany softens as she imagines Santana and how she might react. She thinks about the cheek-bunching smile she’d wear and the sound of her laughter mixing in with the sea breeze. She imagines her being so carefree for once in her life and it makes Brittany smile.

“Maybe I’ll take you one day?” Brittany finds herself saying.

Santana doesn’t say anything for a moment and Brittany wonders if maybe she crossed a line or something? One day hints at a future together, maybe even one that lasts longer than the school year since taking trips to the beach isn’t something they could do during the weekend.

Waiting for a response makes Brittany’s heart thud, but soon Santana speaks up.  

“I could be down with that.”

“Yeah?” Brittany grins.

“As long as you’re my tour guide, it sounds like fun.”

Brittany bites her lip at that, once again super thankful that Santana can’t see how her words can turn Brittany into mush.

“Sweet. So,” Brittany hums as she sinks down into her pillows, “What else did you get up to after I left?”

“Not much,” Santana answers, “Just finishing up some work before school starts up again. My parents went to my Abuela’s house, they’re still there so they must be having a good time.”

Brittany can swear she hears sadness in Santana’s tone, “How come you didn’t go too?”

Santana doesn’t answer right away and Brittany wonders if maybe she has breached a touchy subject. Before she can try and change the subject though, Santana answers.

“I’m not exactly welcome there anymore.”

Brittany isn’t sure what to say.

“She’s not very…accepting. We haven’t spoken since I came out to her. It didn’t really end well for me and clearly she isn’t interested in making amends so…”

Brittany can tell Santana’s trying to be nonchalant about this but the sadness is so evident. It just breaks Brittany’s heart and all she wants to do right now is wrap her arms around Santana, to make her feel safe and wanted.

“I’m so sorry,” Brittany replies softly, “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Don’t be sorry. We’re talking, you’re allowed to ask questions.”

“I know, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t. I promise, if you cross a line then I’ll just hang up on you.”

Brittany gasps but softens when she hears Santana’s cute little giggle.

“Not funny,” Brittany smirks as she turns off her bedside light. Now the light of her alarm clock is the only glow in the room.

“Kind of is.”

Brittany shakes her head, her eyelids feeling a little heavier than before, “You should’ve texted me earlier or something. I could’ve invited you over for Monopoly, really test Petey’s skills.”

Santana chuckles, “Maybe next time.”

“Maybe,” Brittany accidentally says through a yawn.

“You sound tired,” Santana mentions, “Losing is hard work, isn’t it?”

Brittany giggles sleepily, “In most cases I’d say I wouldn’t know, but since we’re talking about Monopoly…yeah, it really is.”

Santana laughs at that, “Do you want me to let you go so you can get some sleep then?”

Brittany rolls onto her side and snuggles into her pillows, “Not really.”

“But you’re tired, you should sleep.”

“I know, but I like talking to you more.”

“More than sleep? Aren’t I special?”

“Duh,” Brittany giggles, “I will gladly lose sleep over you.”

“Okay,” Santana laughs too, “How can I argue with such a smooth talker?”

“You can’t,” Brittany teases; she isn’t even trying to keep her eyes open anymore, “Can you stay here until I fall asleep?”

“Sure Britt,” Santana replies softly, “It doesn’t sound like you’re too far off.”

“It’s been a long day,” Brittany mentions tiredly.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm, but it’s ending way better than it started.”

Santana hums happily, “So… what do I talk about if I know you’re falling asleep?”

“We don’t have to talk,” Brittany chuckles weakly, “Do whatever you were doing before you called and I’ll just listen?”

“Oh, okay then.”

There’s a long pause and Brittany nearly falls asleep, but then she hears the melodic sounds of piano keys followed by a familiar voice singing so beautifully.

At first, Brittany perks up a little wanting to make sure that she isn’t hearing things – that Santana really is singing to her. She’s only ever heard Santana a couple times before and she usually stops when she realizes someone is listening, but it’s not like that now.

Santana doesn’t care about someone listening because she is singing just for her.

And wow, what a voice!

It’s like rolling thunder with a warmth that reminds her of a crackling bonfire; Brittany hasn’t heard anything like it. She can only smile as she lays her phone down on the pillow next to her, trying her hardest to will herself to stay awake even longer just so she can continue to listen to Santana’s beautiful voice.

[elyvorg]

Who's up for some wholesome (and slightly bittersweet) headcanons about Kaito's childhood toys? Plus Maki's and Shuichi's a little bit, too.

See, while I wasn't quite this kind of kid myself, I know that some kids took their toys Extremely Seriously and came up with imaginative, elaborate stories with them in which they were CHARACTERS who went on ADVENTURES and were AWESOME. And if anybody would absolutely have been that kind of kid, it's Kaito.

We already know from Kaito's FTEs that as a kid he had one hell of a wild imagination and spent his days playing games of incredibly elaborate make-believe, in which he'd go on exciting adventures and explore unknown realms. Sure, it seems that these games mostly featured himself in the starring role, but that doesn't necessarily rule out the possibility that some of his toys were involved as other characters in the stories. Perhaps he just doesn't mention them these days when recounting these tales because he has at least realised that that part is a little childish and harder to take seriously. Glossing over them is worth it to be able to keep presenting these adventures like they totally happened. (Of course he knows that no-one really thinks that, but it's still fun to be able to pretend!)

It especially makes a lot of sense that Kaito might have used his toys to fill in other roles in his make-believe adventures when you consider that he's actually not very good at making friends. One part in his second FTE appears to be very indirectly suggesting that he had a permanent falling-out with a kid who had been joining in his games, and other hints in Salmon Team indicate that Shuichi might be the first real friend he's ever had. So Kaito probably didn't have any close friends to share his games with for most of his childhood.

But he wouldn't have let that get him down! He can more than make up for that with his toys and his imagination!! He's not gonna let anything stop him and his imaginary friends from having the best adventures ever!!!

And, knowing Kaito? His toys were his SIDEKICKS. That... might actually have been the first instance of him starting to use that word a lot, before he then shifted into using it for real people whom he's doing his best to support.

Also, consider: his favourite toy was most likely one that was given to him by his parents, and... that's why it's still so special to him. It probably helped him cope with things when his parents had just died, serving as a source of comfort and good memories.

(Kaito's favourite toy could have been anything, really, so don't take what I drew it as here as a super well-founded and immovable part of my headcanon. A purple dog just seemed appropriate, since Kaito is both purple and, as Maki pointed out for us one time, basically a dog.)

  So imagine a non-despair, non-fiction AU in which Kaito has been friends with Shuichi and Maki for a while. They're visiting Kaito's place, and they happen to find his favourite toy still sitting somewhere prominent in his room, because obviously Kaito would have wanted to hold onto it even though he hasn't actively played with it in years. When Maki notices and asks about it, he's partly kind of embarassed, but mostly indignantly defensive that of course he still kinda cares about his stuffed toy, who wouldn't?

But Maki's not trying to tease him. Since meeting Kaito, she's been making more of an effort to remind herself of the child she used to be - so upon seeing Kaito had a favourite toy, she just wants to hear more about it.

Kaito's eyes light up at this, and he eagerly launches into tales of the adventures they totally had together and how much of an awesome sidekick this toy was.

(Maki also knows well enough to word it "Who's this?" rather than "What's this?" when first asking about Kaito's toy. There were enough kids at her orphanage who would get very offended on behalf of their toys if someone older treated them like a thing and not a person, and she has this feeling that some small part of Kaito might still feel a little hurt if she does that with his old favourite toy.)

I don't imagine Maki herself was nearly as into her toys back then as Kaito was, especially because she had to grow up way too fast and be a surrogate parent to the younger kids. But I can believe that maybe there was one toy she played with quite a bit when she was younger and still remembers fondly. New toys wouldn't get bought for the kids at the orphanage very often; it's most likely the same ones in circulation, handed down from older kids to younger kids over and over. So Maki's favourite toy is probably still there at the orphanage right now, being loved just as much or even more by another kid. That's a comforting thought.

(Kaito encourages Maki to ask after it the next time she visits. She's dismissive about it, but she's totally going to.)

Meanwhile, though I don't quite see Shuichi as the type to come up with elaborate stories for his toys, he does seem the type to have had a toy that he was really attached to for longer than most kids do. His parents were never very there for him, after all, and that plus his anxious nature meant that the comfort from a favourite toy would have been a big help when he was younger. I imagine Shuichi was always a little embarassed and ashamed about this (and yet could still never bring himself to throw the toy away either) - but seeing Kaito being so unabashedly proud of the memories he has with his favourite toy would make Shuichi feel a little better about his own.

Upon hearing that Shuichi also had a favourite toy that he loved just as much as Kaito loved his, Kaito wants to be introduced sometime. In fact, his still-very-present inner child kind of wants their toys to meet each other, as silly as it is. All that time playing with his toys by himself, and only now does Kaito finally have an actual real best friend to share that with. It's a bit late by now, and really he knows he's rather too old for this any more, but, still. Just once. Just to imagine what could have been.

(Naturally, Kaito's toy would promptly adopt Shuichi's toy as his new sidekick.)

[retphienix]

Alright, this is gonna be tough because I desperately want to say so much for the game's sake and my own, but it's just so much.

At least the playthrough as a whole exists to show a lot of those things, and there's no shame in some of the impacts the game had for myself going unsaid :)

LONG POST INCOMING, NO 'READ MORE' BECAUSE IT'S RELEVANT TO THE POST AND NOT AN AFTER-THOUGHT

CLICK 'J' ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO SKIP. (Sorry mobile users)

8:48 - Do you have any idea how good a step forward it felt to smash the repressing bulb?

9:50 - So I'll get ahead of myself because this fight shows a lot of the visuals that play into this: Something being the manifestation of guilt for Mari is so incredibly visualized.

Between the base 'Something' being extremely close to the shadow she cast and including the one visible eye that bore down on Sunny and Basil after the hanging, to the stairs incorporating into the design.

The seaweed and spider are more general anxieties though they do circle back to Mari since she saved Sunny, but those two forms don't feel as directly related as the stairs (heights) and base 'Something' forms and what they represent for his repressed guilt.

Could be wrong ;) Tell me what you saw in the forms of 'Something' if you'd like to expand on them :)

12:39 - Just to prove the point before you get to fully see the truth- Something morphs into the figure of Mari hanging. It doesn't fully demonstrate the "eye" aspect yet, but still I just wanted to say kudos on the way 'Something' is shown visually. Formless for a reason, and that form becomes more defined as you understand what it is, exceptional damn thing.

15:43 - Basil's part in all of this makes me so damn sad. Plenty to say later (obviously), but he harbors so much guilt, wants forgiveness so much, and is so (not shown yet) desperate to believe in Sunny's innocence while knowing but not comprehending the truth. The fact he harbors his own 'Something' due to the guilt of all this is heartbreaking, these kids endured a hell no one should. Losing someone so important to you and harboring the guilt and fault of it when nothing of the sort was intended. A childish fight with raised emotions got out of hand and all this came of it.

Hell.

16:30 - I absolutely adore how the photo album is used for this reveal.

Absolutely incredible execution that's specific to this story and its characters and makes piecing (literally) this together tense and grim.

22:27 - I NEVER SPOKE TO OR INTERACTED WITH THE THING IN THE CENTER OF THIS ROOM AND I'M A NORMAL AMOUNT OF UPSET ABOUT THAT >:( lol

29:41 - Okay.

So this reveal as a whole is so unbelievably well paced and incredibly hard hitting.

All game long there's a weight of having lost Mari. Repeatedly it's told that she killed herself and no one can understand why and everyone (MYSELF THE PLAYER INCLUDED) is looking for meaning in little moments, seeking out hints that maybe she was suffering or depressed or this or that.

And while that has gone on FOR THE ENTIRE GAME there has also been this uneasy weight surrounding Sunny/Omori. Visions of Mari twisted and deformed into phantoms of horror.

For the most part I assumed it was just him coping with having lost his sister and maybe a dialogue on how when she was alive he was in her shadow (in his mind) and now that she's gone he remains there?

That was the best I could figure, more or less. But it continued to seem more and more malicious in design and MUCH more 'heavy' in how it's presented as a shadow behind Omori/Sunny throughout his adventure and life.

The weight and 'overshadowed' looks of the scenes felt more and more foreboding and less like a simpler "I'm living in her shadow" story, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Then these pictures come out and piece things together.

The final result:

Sunny and Mari fighting. (Context appears to be his growing disdain towards playing. It's stated he loved playing, but it's also shown that he begins to dislike how much Mari is dragged away for classes and the like up to and including playing. So my read was that Sunny was upset that their fleeting time together was dedicated to the recital and broke his violin in an emotional blur and the fight occurred.

Alternatively it was accidentally broken and both of their emotions were running high as it happened)

Mari falling to her death.

Sunny and Basil carrying her upstairs and tending to her.

Sunny breaking down as it sinks in.

The visions having Basil say "It's going to be okay" by the bedside. (I perceive that as a memory of what Basil was saying as he tried to manage his emotions during the event)

Sunny and Basil carrying her back downstairs and to the backyard.

The makeshift noose.

And finally the sight that burned itself into Sunny's eyes of her hanging after it was all said and done.

Just holy shit to it all in how it's revealed and handled.

Stories have twists all the time, and I ain't gonna make some bold claim like "Most unpredictable!" "Best twist!" "What a twist!" or whatever, though that'd be funny.

I just want to say this twist worked BEFORE the reveal as a foreboding sense of unease and curiosity- it lent itself to intentionally vague and easily misconstrued explanations, basically- instead of it outright misleading you beyond the characters that believe the lie repeating the lie, it allowed you to mislead yourself.

It did the twist the right way! And well! YOU trick YOURSELF! The people repeating the lie are being lied to or have motivation to repeat the lie! The GAME isn't lying (as so many twists handle it) the game is giving the world reason to mislead and allowing you to be mislead!

Now am I yelling affirmations for the way things SHOULD ALWAYS BE! YES! BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT AS NORMAL AS IT SHOULD BE! lol

31:40 - All the "You will really miss them"s hurt :(

33:25 - Right out the gate, a spoiler for what isn't here:

I looked up the alternate endings of the neutral route and my heart hurts to know Sunny doesn't stick around and Basil dies :(

34:00 - BASIL BEING OVERWHELMED WITH DENIAL AND GUILT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MENTALLY PROTECT HIS VIEW OF WHO HIS FRIEND IS BY INVENTING A SECOND PARTY THAT DID THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL AND AMAZINGLY DONE.

And it explains the name behind the 'Something'.

'Something' behind you did it. There's 'Something' behind you, isn't there.

'Something' all around us, that potentially being the truth comin' in.

When 'Something' ruined my photos, Basil repressing protecting Sunny by destroying the proof.

Just expertly done.

'Something' being repression of the memory and impending guilt. Dannnng.

36:26 - It's 24 hours after I beat the game as I type all this so here's a gag.

Here's the part where Basil beats some sense into his friend, because after this Sunny gets knocked out and wakes up 200% improved and ready to save Basil from his own guilt by releasing them both from the secret.

So basically Kel dragged us out of bed, then a couple days later Basil beats us up, and that's how Sunny gets better :^) Game Over.

38:46 - This fight made me feel utterly terrible, a highlight being the energy bar saying "Everything is going to be okay".

or at 40:17 - when Basil pokes out Sunny's eye and the screen does this? That's an underutilized but always awesome visual.

41:12 - I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD AT THIS POINT :)

Because just before entering Basil's home on this night you see his Grandma's ghost here. So seeing Sunny here told me "WELL. YOU FUCKED UP!"

42:25 - Like I said, beat some sense into Sunny.

Here's the mental side of things where Basil's beatin' told Sunny to go remember the good times and confront his inner self and I'm being partially facetious because there's plenty to say about what's coming up.

43:15 - Goosebumps every time due to the sincerity and hope of this.

43:40 - Hug for anyone needing that.

51:11 - I could cry again and I just might before this post is done being put together.

This accident was never meant to be.

55:09 - Timestamp is arbitrary, I won't go over every flashback but I do want to say what a beautiful way to use these photos. To relive the memories? To find the strength to overcome and all that? After all these years of suppressing memories? DANNNG I love this game.

1:04:09 - I stepped in poop.

1:04:15 - Barefooted.

1:04:22 - I embraced my failure.

1:12:00 - The violin.

1:13:00 - "The anxious feeling-" "They believed in you" "No matter what you didn't want to disappoint them" I'm filled with love and gonna cry about it.

1:14:00 - So an important theme in the game, as if it has just one, is Sunny suppressing emotions and demonizing himself.

Obviously the ending shows him breaking free from both but I think it's important as hell to look at how he builds up to being able to.

After all the dark moments show him as a bloodied monster, demonstrate a perceived lack of remorse for what he's done (as in he sees himself so poorly that he says "I must not have felt bad about it, I'm a monster", not that he actually doesn't feel bad about it, that he thinks he shouldn't because he's bad), have him stab dream Basil to protect his repression of the memory, the build up to breaking free from that is him remembering the good in him through the lens of his friends.

Both in the real world and in revisiting the memories within the photos.

He hears about the good in himself that he has pretended isn't there and finds the power to overcome this deadened shell he's made.

He learns how to forgive himself by finally remembering he's worthy of forgiveness and is more than his mistake, that even the person he grievously harmed would want him to forgive himself and would understand the mistake didn't define him.

1:15:15 - Just because you did something bad doesn't make you bad, to put it more eloquently than my rambles. He had to learn that.

1:19:20 - I've done this fight 4 times.

You may be wondering why 4 times, it ain't like I replayed the game a ton or anything.

The short of it is:

1) For the good ending :)

2) To see what happens if you go "up" in the hospital- it's a dead end- I assumed it'd be a bad ending. So I got the good ending again :)

3) For the bad ending.

4) FOR THE GOOD ENDING TO WIPE THE HORRIBLE FEELING IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AWAY FROM THE BAD ENDING :)

In doing so I did get one layer deeper on the BG of Omori in the fight, here it is:

And I learned on the fourth run that the fight is simpler than I gave it credit lol, Cherish refills your juice, so there is no reason to use Encore. You can get to the end (and deeper more easily) by just using the triple attack and Cherish and Calm down when necessary.

1:29:00 - A summary of the fight is that it's extremely impactful emotionally, but very obviously isn't a "Fun fight". It's great mechanically and story wise for what it's trying to do :)

I'll just say it here: I'm surprised there wasn't an end-game "Omori" fight, you know, in dream world? Because combat is SO good in this. I am lead to believe that the Omori route where you never go outside in the real world has more bosses and zones and would fill what I just implied I wanted- but you're also railroaded into the Neutral endings which are both sad :(

And honestly? That makes sense and I applaud the decision :) Embracing the fantasy world for more 'fights' isn't exactly the path to recovery. Also and I know someone will be bothered I say this because *I'm* bothered I'm saying this- it makes sense since a big predecessor did the same thing lol.

Undertale Genocide has new bosses and a harder end game challenge (Sans) while being the worse ending, while the good ending has a flashy and story/emotionally impactful final fight that isn't as challenging because challenge isn't the point of the morals being explored.

I just bring it up because it's interesting, has a parallel, and after fighting Omori 4 times I really REALLY wanted to do an end-game fight in Dream World.

1:30:00 - forgive me as I cry again. goosebumps and more.

OH NO~!

DRAT!

So I use a cheap video editor and I use the free format of it which limits to 720p and I didn't think twice of it.

I recorded at max, but downgraded after editing.

At 720p you can't see the detail that made me break down crying!

At 1:31:55 Sunny's eyes go wider as he sees Mari as they finally get to experience the duet in this dream state (White Egret Orchid, this is real and happening, I'm taking this to my grave :'( ) he sees her smile and that smile made me break down, but in the 720 it's blurry :(

That's on me, I could have posted the scene raw in HQ but I didn't know it'd compress just enough to be invisible :(

still. that duet scene can make me cry on command. just because of that alone, but also the entire thing.

1:33:42 - Sunny breaks from his shell and feels his emotions again.

1:37:07 - I wish every game would end with a mirror to see yourself.

The 'Despite everything, it's still you' vibe just cements all the growth and experiences that have happened as so much more real when that happens. Bonus points because mirrors in Omori are a time bomb where you can be reminded of the guilt following you- and this one is safe. This one is pure and clean. You did it.

1:37:50 - As I said earlier, going up does nothing. Dead end.

1:39:00 - I have to tell you something.

Simple ending. And yet slams me like two trucks. I'm so proud.

1:41:00 - Post credits scene.

This is so heartwarming and their smiles are the purest thing in the entire world.

1:42:50 - BAD ENDING RECORDING.

All I'll say on that is the bad ending made me feel terrible inside. Give up, live in your bubble, and subconsciously end it all so you never have to confront reality again.

My gut felt heavy to be honest.

And the fact that THAT is when Bo En Time is played is INCREDIBLE.

Having the sky shift like that gave goosebumps and cemented my dread.

Just seeing it now has me feeling very poorly.

Okay. Video done.

Now for general thoughts.

First off this White Space cycle has been going on for YEARS with Sunny only getting worse as he suppresses things more and more and the reason he found the strength to overcome is because of his friends and I'm gonna yell about it.

THE REASON SUNNY IS BREAKING FREE CAN BE DIRECTLY POINTED AT KEL THINKING "FUCK IT, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A FRIEND, AND I DON'T WANT TO"

And I just think that is sweet as hell. The strength was inside himself, but the problem itself caused Sunny to demonize and not trust himself- he needed someone to break him free and help convince him that he's not irredeemable. And boom.

The way this game handles Denial and even gives it physical form with the 'Something's that both Sunny and Basil harbor is just awesome.

I touched on it but combat in Omori is very, very good.

I've said it here and there as I played and I feel like going at length in the finale post is pointless because this isn't a review but to put it concisely.

Types changing mid-combat, the character archetypes being so well defined, the follow up system, combat in Omori is some top notch turn based RPG stuff.

Like up there with the greats, the timeless masterpieces. This is GOOD fighting. So it was surprising the good ending didn't emphasize it- I explained why that makes sense, but even still! It'd probably be lesser for it (as explained previously) but it's interesting they practiced that restraint for the message they wanted to send.

Repeatin' that Mari's smile in the recital made me cry. Burned in my brain.

I'm still surprised I got the post credits scene because I DID water the plants a lot but when the game showed me them all dead I assumed that was the fail condition.

I genuinely do want to try the Omori route some time down the road. I hope I get around to it.

I am slightly dissuaded just because the Omori route only gets the neutral endings which are not Good To Be Blunt :(

But I want to see what dream content there is and I hear there are other bosses!

Other small bits from my notes:

Replacing denial (the black bulb) with hope (the white bulb) was good as heck.

The imagery of the 'Something' is so top notch- using the shadow of her body combined with the piercing gaze of her single eye- MY GOD.

The fragility of life being so present- between memories of near death experiences, to the way in which Mari dies, to the ease at which either Basil or Sunny can end the game. It's tense and heart-wrenching.

The way the 'Something' behind Sunny almost always shadows over him like an ever present weight.

Tearful, hopeful, pure, kids enduring a guilt metric tons heavier than their bodies could ever handle and finally, finally moving beyond it.

I said more in a personal post, and I'll reblog that.

Honestly, just timestamping through the video took it out of me and got the point across.

Omori is a wonderful game.

It's definitely a favorite for me, high up there on my list.

Between the themes, the gameplay, the humor, the ending.

This is a good one.

And now I get to end having experienced all the care and love in this title, that's such a sweet thing.

Now I know this finale post is a mess, illegible even. I have gotten sloppier as I've begun embracing just 'experiencing and rambling' and perhaps my formatting with change yet again until I find something more easily shared.

Despite that. I want to thank any who popped in on this playthrough.

This was a good one, a highlight of the blog for sure- and I'm always happy when I see some people enjoying the absolute mess I toss online when I do one of these :P

So thank you for your time, and thank you to any ridiculous enough to read my nonsense here.

Have a good one :)

And just as expected I feel I've said nothing and barely touched the surface as the post-game-head of mine does a poor job lol. Even still :P

[dolores-lovesfruits]

There is something that has been itching me ever since I entered the fb fandom. It’s been a long time debate ever since the manga and the 2001 anime up till now and Idk, I feel like this topic is overlooked by many, which is kyo vs. yuki/ more like pitting them against each other on who’s better. 

Beware: This is a super long post.

Look, I may be a Momiji stan at heart but I can’t deny that these dudes are awesome. Do note that I am not speaking against those who have their own biases, I’m referring to the people who keep comparing these two in a really negative way to the extent of antagonizing the other party or worse; comparing who’s got more trauma. I saw the latter part on that one facebook post and I was all “wtf?!” 

Now we all know Yuki was criticized for his so-called “surface” character especially back in the 2001 anime where they really botched their chances of developing Yuki’s storyline with his brother, backstory, and president arc; and since the first half of the manga centered on the true form arc, a lot of Kyo stans emerged and at times, shoved yuki in the mud as if he’s not that important to the whole series (which infuriated me and I’m pointing my finger at the 2001 anime for this). The reboot is finally shining Yuki and the fandom, new viewers/old fans begin to love this Yuki more than the old version because this is the Yuki that was portrayed in the manga that we all love. It also helps that there are a lot who posted their metas about him and people have matured enough to understand his situation.

Now moving on to Kyo. Since the second half of season 2 will finally focus on the storyline that Yuki didn’t get during the 2001 anime, this is the part where I’m very intrigued of. Gathering some opinions from manga readers, this is the arc wherein there might be an emergence of Kyo hate opinions. I predicted this for a number of reasons and connected it to what season 2 will show, like Yuki’s backstory wherein we found out that Yuki actually wanted to befriend Kyo; using yuki as a scapegoat; the cinderella arc where Kyo lashes out on Yuki again. Not to mention, Kyo doesn’t really appear that much or get that much spotlight during the second half (except Kagura’s confession and Kyoko’s backstory albeit it’s more focused on kyoko’s) because his spotlight and development will come at season 3.

This is something that really pissed me off. The Yuki hate was based on his treatment towards Kyo and acting like he’s better than him (ex: is when a lot complained during the ore-sama dialogue that he’s acting all superior to Kyo or some shit). If anything, Yuki has the right to call out on Kyo which I’ll explain below. The Kyo hate on the other hand was based on his treatment to Yuki back when they’re younger till now (it rages me when there are fans who blamed Kyo for ALL of Yuki’s trauma. He’s partly at fault, for sure but the fact that they are really blaming ALL this on Kyo was absurd. blame akito or the curse dammit). 

Kyo’s actions are unjustifiable, sure, especially when he’s channeling his hatred to someone he doesn’t fully know but it’s one of his main conflicts in this series. Even as a kid, he still technically started that feud between their relationship even when Yuki just wanted to be friends w/ him but because of the rat/cat hierarchy implanted on him since he was born, it was natural for him to lash out on Yuki, which, resulted on damaging Yuki’s trauma more. It didn’t help that Yuki was used as his scapegoat because not only projecting your hatred also cause to damage to the other person which come of as insensitive, but it also developed Kyo’s unhealthy way of coping esp since he explicitly said that he used Yuki because he wouldn’t be able to take it any longer (it really was the only thing keeping him together which was a super fucked up situation). It’s a lose-lose battle on him

I’m not going to pretend that Yuki is an angel as well. He, too have struggled immensely and his envious thoughts and jealously towards Kyo sprouted his hatred towards him which in any case, is not Kyo’s fault. His internal struggles of not being able to be himself was not entirely Kyo’s responsibility, which developed an unhealthy coping mechanism wherein he puts up this princely facade and also lashes on/ beats Kyo due to his jealousy. I also think a lot are forgetting that while Kyo used him as a scapegoat, deep inside, Yuki looked down on Kyo as well. Based on what Shigure told Tohru that the cat is needed for them to make themselves feel a little better. Which was amplified during Momiji’s grown up chapter (the scene where they are making curry) the zodiacs finally acknowledged the effect of being in the cat’s unfortunate position.

I cannot fully blame Yuki for looking down on Kyo and used his jealousy to beat him up because he reminds him of anything he’s not. At the same time, I cannot fully blame Kyo for lashing out on him when they were kids and used the rat to have a purpose of his hatred. Their feelings manifested from the curse, it just so happened that these two were driven with different coping mechanisms.

In addition, I really don’t understand the point of antagonizing/villanizing person a to person b’s backstory and vice versa when it’s clearly not the case. A lot are forgetting that it’s the bond/curse and akito that made them this way. You can’t fully blame the other party because both of them are victims of terrifying positions (Yuki’s closest to god so he really suffered from akito’s abuse while Kyo’s position as the cat made him mocked and looked down by the sohmas and eventually imprisoned for life for something he was born with). It’s also interesting despite their different childhood experiences, both experienced some kind of isolation (yuki was isolated from the other zodiacs and kept in the dark room while kyo was an outcast and not included in any event because the mere presence as a cat is something they need for the banquet to keep going).

This is the reason why my blood was boiling when they get compared at who’s got the worst trauma or some shit from the two. It’s downgrading the other’s problems and experiences and fucking petty. BOTH, I repeat, both have been traumatized and suffered a lot and it defeats the purpose on portraying different traumas and their journey of fighting their demons. In other words, the two do not deserve to be compared. It’s not a battle between traumas.

If they want to blame something, blame the fucking curse (and Akito). It clearly destroyed the cursed Sohma’s mental health. No need to pit these two into an experience that haunted them both.

I’m saying this because while I was glad and relieved that the yuki hate is slowly dissolving, I noticed that this season might involve some Kyo hate and I just have to fucking slap my desk and be like “Not this again!”

Again, everyone has an opinion on certain characters but there are some that are just “too much”. That feeling overshadows the character’s good points/flaws. Kyo and Yuki are not painted to be the bad guys. They are characters with flaws and conflict going on. Without these flaws, the story wouldn’t drive further. I actually prefer the fandom right now than before because the majority of the main Kyo and main Yuki stans both love and respect the other. I hope it will continue to be like that and just stop with the Kyo and Yuki hate.

[atropos-iphigenia]

Therapy sessions

For the people who will have killed me.

NF kept me alive, the same way I kept my people alive.

I gotta say ‘bout a month ago

I was talking to fans

And one of them pulled me aside and said

"We never met but I swear that you know who I am

I been through a lot

I don't know how to express it to people

Don't think that I can, but I got your words and life on rotation

That's the same for me, man, you understand!"

It's crazy for me

Kids hit me up, they say they slitting they wrists on the daily

My platform is more than you think

Don't book me for just “being a trigger”, it's triggering

Seeing your comments, you telling me

My channel is dangerous, you gotta be kidding me

I guess that your definition of danger and mine

Is something that we look at differently

How do you picture me, huh?

Want me to smile, you want me to laugh?

You want me to pretend I’m not broken

And that my community is a menace to society

I mean, what you expect from me?

I'm tryna do this respectfully

You say that life is a race

You made my suicide catch up with me

I do my best to be calm

How you gon' write me and tell me I’m the scum of the earth?

That's just a glimpse to the stuff that gets sent to me

These are the parts of my life you'll never see

I am aware you disagree

I’m only here to accept them

I don't know what you expect here

This kid that wrote to me, stared me in the face

And told me their life's full of drama

Said that their dad is abusive

Apparently he likes to beat on their mama

I got so angry inside

I wanted to tell them to give me his number

But what I gon' do with it, right?

I hit him up then he'll start hitting her harder

That's real

These kids, they come to see me

With tears in they eyes

Imagine some kid looking at you

And saying your words are the reason that they are alive

Sometimes, I don't know how to handle it

This type of life isn't glamorous

This ain't for those who don’t suffer from It

You see me talk with my people but have no idea what we’re all dealing with

I put it all in the open

This is the way that I cope with all my emotion

I'm talking emotions with thousands of people

I know you will never get me

I'm trying to deal with depression

I'm trying to deal with the pressure

How you gon' tell me my voice harms people

When I'm looking out at this crowd full of people I know are alive ‘cause of me?

I got some things in my life, I know I should let 'em go

Let me jot it down, let me take a mental note

I put it all in this platform, think about that for a minute

What is the point of my videos? I'm just venting

So they don’t feel alone

What you think about me?

That always worries me

I know you think I handle things immaturely

But I know that I am full grown in maturity

I don’t walk on my stage in front of my people

And act like I live my life perfectly

That isn’t how we work

“Thin” is not our definition of what perfect means

I am the type to be quiet

But I ain't gon' sit here in silence

What you have said to me

Cannot be private

I am not lying

You people go off in my comments and I'm trying to quit the replying

But this is ridiculous

I'm passionate man, I really mean what I'm writing

You want me to keep it a hundred? Okay, I'll keep it a hundred

I see a whole lot of talking on socials

But honestly, I don't see nothing in person

I kinda hate it

"Why don't you make us some happy videos?

That would be awesome

All your content is moody and dark, Sephy"

Don't get me started

You wanna know what it's like if you met me in person?

Listen to my words

This content is just for the people

Who sit in their beds and cry ‘cause they feel alone

I accept them

But I don't expect you to respect it

I don't expect you to get my perspective

I mean, I know sometimes you people confuse what I'm doing

I write about life, I write about things that I'm actually dealing with

Something that I'm actually experiencing, this is real for me

This is something that personally helps me as well

I'm not confused about who gave me my voice

They all gave me the gift and they gave me the ability to speak for us

But they also gave me this as an outlet

And that's what this is for me

When I feel something, whether it's anger

A passion about something, a frustration

This is where I go, this is, that's my whole platform I speak from

This is real for me, I need this, this is a therapy for me

And you have robbed us all of everything.

[transbibennyweir]

I love mbav so much it’s one of my favorite shows ever and I’m still so upset over the cliffhanger ending but on a side note Benny weir was definitely my number one favorite character but that might be due to the fact that I have a crush on him and in real life too anyway though I will say bethan is definitely my otp favorite pairing from the show as well and I was so upset they didn’t end together in the end but I was wondering if you would consider making Bethan fanfiction for this month?

duuude i feel the same way i love the show and even me who isn’t really into shipping can’t argue that those two had some real chemistry going on. that cliffhanger ending will always suck but at least we got fanfic to cope and pretend it didnt happen lol but yeah i’ve been writing two or three (really) short fics. the requests are mostly bethan so lucky you! i just put a new i did under the cut. its short and smiple and not too over the top shippy. its still good i think but the next bethan fic i want write to be super over the top shippy for fun with fluff (and angst with comfort ofc) (also this is on ao3)

The Valentine Dance at school was only a week away and Benny had the less than amazing plan to confess some long time dwelling feelings, and if he was lucky score a date to the dance. Although, he was lacking in any confidence seeing as he was never the best with plans and had the worst luck with... Well with everything if he was honest. Ethan was more the plan guy. Which was a total problem when Ethan is who the confession was for. Benny debated for half the school day if he should ask anyone for help, it became pretty obvious that they wouldn’t be that helpful. Rory can’t keep a secret to save his undead life, Erica isn’t much of the romantic type (ignoring that she wouldn’t want help at all in the first place), and Sarah... Actually Sarah might be the only one that would be any real help. That’s if she wanted to help. After what happened Freshman year with Ethan pinning for her and the eventual coming out from Sarah that she didn’t like guys it was sometimes amazing they could still be friends without one of them dying of awkwardness. If anything it was more awkward to ask for help from your current crush’s ex-crush, but Benny was out of options.

“Hey Sarah!” Benny greeted on his phone, his leg bouncing as he sat nervously on his bed. He had decided that he would try talk to her after school, partly hoping he would talk himself out of doing any of this. “I kinda need your help for something important. How quick do you think you could be at my place tonight? Sarah? Sarah!”

When there wasn’t a reply Benny repeated her name wondering what happened followed with a moment of silence and a sudden swiping sound of gusting wind through his phone then a whoosh out in front of his bedroom window. Vampire speed, always handy. “This quick enough for you?” Sarah giggled. Between last year to now Sarah was a lot more playful about her vampire-ness, much to the amusement of Benny.

“Knew I could count on you, Sar!” He grinned at her.

“As always. So, what’s this super important thing you needed my help in the middle of a school night?” She asked, jumping onto his bed with a weightless thump. “Is it a magic problem or just your special brand of weirdness for tonight?”

“Ha! Very funny. I mean it. It’s serious. There’s the dance coming up and I need your help scoring with-” Benny was cut off by Sarah abruptly standing up with a squeaked out “What!”

“Benny! I thought you said this was serious. I rushed over here for you thinking ugh-I can’t believe you! I am not helping you with ‘score’ with some random-”

“It’s Ethan.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah....”

“Benny, I am really sorry.”

There was an awkward silence that made Benny want rip his insides out which was a total confidence booster. “Nah, no, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have been so ‘Benny’ about it. My fault.” Benny’s voice sounded worn and hoarse. Sarah wrapped her arms around Benny to comfort him, sitting back on his bed they stayed quite, Benny taking steading breathes. “I know it’s been a summer since he got over you, but I dunno we’ve always been friends and really close. Confident Benny wants say there’s a chance he’s into me, but Nervous Benny says everything I think has been a sign is just me getting way too hopeful and I’m just,” Benny sighed leaning into Sarah’s hug. “Really tired dancing around how I feel all the time.”

“Awe, Benny,” Sarah settled into her place on the bed facing her favorite spell-caster. “Okay. I’ll help you. What’s the plan?” Benny sheepishly smiled and raised his shoulders.

“I was kinda hoping you could come up with something. I’m more of a plan follower than a plan maker. My ideas tend to lead to the actual problem that needs fixing.” He laughed nervously.

“I think I can come up with something. You still know that flower spell, right?” They grinned at each other.

“Of course.”

+++

The school dance was now only four days away and Sarah’s plan was simple and more importantly fool-proof. Which is what Benny was counting on.

“So, all you need to do is talk to him. Take him to the park. Whoa him with some magic, some flowers and then boom! Ask him to the dance. Simple and sups romantic.” Sarah said as they walked outside to see Ethan and their friends waiting for them in the school parking lot. “Think you can manage?”

Benny waved at them nervously. “I’m totally going mess this up.”

“Ben, it’s literally the most straightforward plan on the planet. There’s no way for you to mess it up. Just be your usual funny and charming self, it’s what he loves most about you.” Sarah smiled reassuring. Reaching their friends Benny tried not act anymore strange than his typical self, which was hard when Benny’s go to was being strange. It came with the magic powers and general teenage boy awkwardness. Erica was pushing Rory back onto the ground as he tried to float above her head saying there was something in her hair, there wasn’t, really he just wanted steal her hair pin that he was obsessed with.

“Come on, Erica!” Rory teased picking at the clip.

“Rory, if you don’t stop I’m going drive a stake through your un-dead heart!” She threatened as Ethan laughed before turning his attention to Benny and Sarah.

“Hey, Sarah, Ben.” He smiled sweetly, his eyes glancing at Benny with a sheepish blush. Although the boy in question was too busy freaking out internally to notice. “We still on for movie night?”

“Oh right!” Sarah said suddenly with a false quickness. “I totally forgot that’s tonight. Me and the vamps have some Vampire Council business and such. Y’know, vampires only. Heh.” She lied poorly but Ethan was just a little too slow to catch on.

“We do?” The two other vampires said holding off on their mini fight over a hair clip, Erica holding onto both Rory’s wrists in opposing directions. Erica watched the panic in Sarah and Benny’s eyes that said all she needed to know; ‘please just pay along’ written all over their faces. “Oooh. Yes-yeah. We do. Totally. No humans allowed or they will eat your face off. We’re doing a... vampire... ritual.... Yeah.”

“We do that? Awesome!” Rory said suddenly excited if not a little confused. “Why didn’t they tell me anything? Do you guys have their number or something because if so I feel it’s unfair that I don’t-”

“Rory, not right now.” Erica pulled her hair clip out of Rory’s hand, annoyed. “We should get going. Don’t want be late for the... ritual. Right, Sarah?”

“Right! Yeah, we really need get going. Super speed can only be so quick. Let’s go.” Sarah chuckled, pushing two of her friends away from Ethan and Benny. “We’ll see you later!” The three vamps speeded off, the other two waving them bye. The school parking lot was empty by then, Ethan’s full attention placed fully on Benny who felt the crushing weight of his friend’s eyes on him as he always did when they were alone. It was easy to play off any pining feelings when they hung out, their friendship had always been enough for Benny. Even when he had see Ethan longing after a different person, it was hard sometimes, but Benny could always push down any budding jealously or unsettling sadness. Ethan would always be his friend and now if he was lucky he could put boy in front of friend. The thought making his cheeks warm and his heart fast.

“Soo, movie night?” Ethan asked, they started their walk home only instead Benny had planned to take a subtle left turn towards the park the spell for appearing flowers repeating in his head.

“Actually I was thinking we could, uh, go for a walk... to the park?” Benny flinched with the odd expectation that his friend would suddenly reject him right there and then. “I have something I want show you, I dunno. Is that dumb? I feel dumb.”

“Benny. It’s cool. Come on, I kinda wanted tell you something anyways.” Ethan replied with a smile, his hand close to gracing against the taller boy’s. The near touch drawing them closer to each other, they’ve always gravitated towards one another with a strange pull that was always between them. Benny wondered if Ethan ever felt it, if he could ever see how Benny looked at him with such love and care. Maybe his seer powers let him see it more clearly than Benny felt it, lucky him Ethan still didn’t fully know how mind read yet.

The start of their walk was mostly silent, the longer the quite went for the more Benny’s internal freak out grew into full blown panic. He was seriously reconsidering saying anything at this point. Half way to the park and they hadn’t said a single word to each other, a first for their friendship. Ethan was biting his lower lip clearly lost in deep thought, Benny was too nervous to speak and break into whatever was going through the shorter boy’s head.

“Ben... Benny, heh, uh, I’ve been wanting to say this for awhile and I didn’t know how and I know you’re you know... You.” Ethan started. None of his words were comforting to Benny right now. “Wait-wait. That came out weird. I just wanted say when we came out to each other last summer. I know I acted really weird afterwards and it was totally uncool of me and I know I should’ve said sorry forever ago, but I’m real sorry, Ben. It was lame of me and I only acted like that because there some feelings I didn’t think I was ready to think about and now it’s like my brain is stuck thinking them but I don’t want things weird so, uh, am I making any sense?”

Benny didn’t know if he should laugh or cry, he went with the former and abruptly began to giggle in a almost soft of manic way. The sudden out bust of laugher worried Ethan. “Why are you laughing? Benny, I’m being serious. Come on, dude.”

“Sorry, dude. It’s just, you really scared me there for a second, E. I know it was a weird shift it’s totally fine. I was never mad.” Benny said, his laughter subsiding. Although he took note of the last bit, he didn’t want feel like he was reading too much into it but it couldn’t nothing, right?

They reached the park a few yards off where there was a bench was waiting for them. The lump in Benny’s throat was starting appear and it was getting too late for him to choke and bail on this whole thing. “Let’s go sit on the bench. It’s my turn to ramble and make barely any sense.”

“So nothing new.” Ethan teased. Ben wrapped his arm around Ethan’s neck and ruffled his hair.

“Yeah, yeah. Just sit down, okay?” Benny sat down with a nervous smile and his leg bouncing with a quick uneasy pace. “On the topic of us not being the straightest lightsabers in the bunch. Heh. There’s the dance coming up and I didn’t want go alone and there’s this person I wanted ask-”

“Really?” Ethan butted in with a sad look making something clink in Benny’s head. “That’s... great. What’s he like?”

“Oh you know, he’s really cool and mega smart and like, the biggest dork in the whole world.” Benny was grinning now, biting his lower lip to fight back his nervous joy. Maybe it was petty but if he was understanding right then making Ethan jealous for two minutes would make up for last year’s Sarah obsession.

“Oh. Uh. He sounds really cool. I’m glad you like him so much. So, what’s the plan to ask him out?” Ethan asked, his mood becoming more downcast suddenly. E, you pretty idiot. Well, just a bit of teasing fun wouldn’t hurt.

“Mhm. Yeah, he’s really great. I was thinking of asking him after school, y’know, surprise him with some flowers use a little magic to make sure their his favorite. Like this,” Benny made a quick glance to make sure no one was looking before making a bouquet of flowers appear. It had been the first simple trick that Benny had ever show Ethan. It started as a cheesy way to impress girls now it was becoming a cheesy way to impress his Ethan. The flowers matched the color scheme of Ethan’s favorite Star Wars character, right down to matching the center one with the character’s lightsaber.

Ethan stared at the flowers with a shy sadness. “Oh? Then what? Explain to him vampires are real next? I’m sure that one will go over real great, Bens.”

“Maybe. I think he’d be freaked out at first, probably less than he should be but grow to think it was way kick ass. I think he’d do pretty awesome fighting some bloodsuckers. Bet he looks really hot staking one out. The same way I think he looks really hot when he plays video games and starts losing and sits on my lap-which is totally cheating by the way, but I let it slide because again total cutie. I want ask him to the dance, maybe after we could sneak out and-”

“Jeez, Benny. Stop it, okay. I get it.” Ethan stood up from his seat, covering his ears. “You must really like him. What’s his name?”

“Oh, I dunno it’s something like Ian? Eric? Wait! No, I remember it’s Ethan Morgan the dumbest yet prettiest boy in town. Only second to yours truly.” Benny grinned gaining more of a cool confidence as he saw the way Ethan’s blush grew dark across his face.

“Oh.”

“Yeah ‘oh’ you dope! Who else could I have ever been talking about?! Han Solo?”

“First of all, I don’t know! And second, Han was totally gay for Luke but that’s for a different time.” Ethan said, glancing as an older couple walked past them.

“Wait, were you jealous? Like actually?”

“What! No way, I was not.” Ethan’s blush creeped up to his ears. “And anyways, it was totally not cool of you-”

“Then we’re even. Fair?” Benny leaned closer to Ethan, the flowers disappearing from between them. “Were the flowers too gay?”

Ethan leaned closer and bit his lip. “Bens, I don’t know how break this to you, but you’re like the gayest person in town.”

“Second to you.” He laughed before Ethan closed the gap between their lips catching him off guard. The small doubt that lingered in the back of his mind was put at ease as their lips fit together. “Sorry. I was really hoping I didn’t mess this up.” Benny tried not to giggle.

“Lucky you, your bad gay jokes and charm is what got me hooked on you in the first place.”

“Yeah, guess I am a catch. So... We’re on for the dance?”

“Yeah.” Ethan smiled holding Benny’s hands. “Yeah, Bens. We are.” They grinned at each other, hands clasped together and knees touching.