#like hes actually a terrible person for 90% of the current chapters out its actually impressive

[shijiujun]

Time for some BL/Danmei novel recs! 

You guys have probably (maybe) seen my novels list here - [X] - but it’s more for my own tracking than anything else, so here’s a brief list (I’ll probably do full ones of the ones I really love in another post, probably on Minmo).

The ones elaborated on below with the asterisks are the novels I’ve actually finished reading.

*since everyone more or less knows MXTX’s works - TGCF, MDZS and SVSSS, I’ll skip those!

1. SCI 迷案集 | SCI Mystery Series by 耳雅*

Summary: Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao are childhood friends and rivals that end up working together under the newly established SCI unit as co-leads, with Bai Yutang providing the brawn as Captain and Zhan Zhao the brains as Vice Captain and the team’s resident genius psychologist. They solve cases together and slowly unravel a wider conspiracy that involves their parents’ generation and beyond. At the same time they also realize that they’re meant for each other!

Other CPs: Bai Jintang (Bai Yutang’s older brother) & the medical examiner, Gongsun Ce, Bai Chi (Bai Yutang’s younger cousin) & magician Zhao Zhen, and at least three other gay pairings, one of which is considered another main couple of sorts from Vol. 2 onwards

Status: Incomplete (Began in 2010, author is still going on strong with one chapter every one or two months, we’re halfway through Vol. 5 right now and it’s been 10 years ;-; Love that the author is going on strong!! Everyone on JJWXC are like “please author it’s okay if you go slow as long as you keep going we’re here for you” and jfc I understand the fear of this not completing, also when will Vol. 5 be completed and printed?!! I need to complete the collection)

Translations: Unfortunately, only the first volume has been translated well so far on novel updates. The one on Wattpad seems to have caught up, but I would not recommend that one.

Drama/Live-Action: Season 1 was filmed and released in 2018 under the same name with slightly changed names for the characters. Season 2 was supposed to start filming this month but... oh well. First season basically covered Vol. 1 novel from start to end.

*I love this one only because it was my very first danmei and so it’ll forever have a special place in my heart, and also because it’s still ongoing so ya know, I relive how much I love this every month

2. 成化十四年 | Cheng Hua’s Fourteenth Year (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty) by 梦溪石*

Summary: Tang Fan, a prefectural judge, and Sui Zhou, a high ranking officer in the Embroidered Uniform Guards, meet while trying to solve a murder case. Both of them end up partnering very well together, Sui Zhou ends up inviting Tang Fan to live with him, and the rest is history. Through their days living together and solving cases + a larger conspiracy involving the royal palace, they fall in love. Adding to this mix is also Wang Zhi, a powerful, young eunuch who befriends the pair, and the three of them basically help the crown prince to overcome challenges and his enemies to become the next Emperor

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Ongoing on several websites. I’m only translating relationship highlights, but here’s an introduction post I did for it, if you guys would like somewhere to start without getting too invested - [X]

Drama/Live-Action: The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty was released earlier this year, directed by Jackie Chan and starring Darren Chen and Paul Fu, but cases are a little different and there are new characters in the show that weren’t from the novel etc.

3. 杀破狼 | Shapolang by Priest*

Summary: Set in a steampunk universe where flying boats named ‘kites’ and flying armour exist. Young teenager Chang Geng lives with his mother and stepfather - the former abuses him and the latter neglects him, and the only person that he cares about (and cares about him) is Shen Shiliu, his (very young) godfather. He realizes his identity as a royal prince when the Man tribe invades his city and Shen Shiliu, whose real name is Gu Yun, turns out to be an army general whose duty was to protect Chang Geng in secret (among other things). 

Chang Geng has been critically poisoned by his mother (who’s not actually his birth mother, if I recall she’s an aunt) which leads to him getting terrible dreams frequently with the end result of him being driven into insanity, while Gu Yun is half blind, half deaf due to poisoning + injury when he was much younger, and he can only regain his hearing and sight fully when he takes a medicine that is slowly losing its effectiveness with every dosage he has.

The both of them navigate learning about each other again, falling in love a few years later when Chang Geng is all grown up and also unravel conspiracies and fight bad guys (both external threats and internal as in the current Emperor and other parties) XD

*Note: The age old debate is that Gu Yun ‘preyed’ on and also ‘groomed’ Chang Geng, but I disagree and stand by the fact that Gu Yun was 90% of the time not around while Chang Geng grew from a teenager to a young adult as he was fighting wars elsewhere, while Chang Geng refused to stay at the Gu manor and insisted on running around, travelling on his own and seeing the world for a few years before they met again. And it was Chang Geng who’d always loved Gu Yun and devoted himself to caring about him, making advances on him etc. when he became an adult

Other CPs: Shen Yi (Gu Yun’s second-in-command) & Chen Qingxu (a renowned physician who ends up healing both Chang Geng and Gu Yun of their ailments) 

Status: Complete!

Translations: Fully translated the last I heard, it’s up there in the list of holy grail BL/danmei novels, so I’m sure it’s done hahaha.

Drama/Live-Action: Filming in progress!

*This is up there in the hall of fame for danmei novels for more than just the amazing content and writing - It’s also famous for being one of the most complex novels ever. I don’t know how the translations team did it because DAMN it was complex and I read all my novels in Chinese without much issues but I was honestly STRUGGLING WITH this one and I went through some existential crisis while reading because I was like ‘did I ever learn Chinese, am I even Chinese’ XD

4. 默读 | Silent Reading by Priest*

Summary: Luo Wenzhou, a police captain, and his team including best friend and partner Tao Ran, face a few challenging cases that end up being small parts of a larger conspiracy, and end up having to consult with Fei Du, a flamboyant, charming and flirty, young and rich CEO, who Luo Wenzhou describes as someone who is an expert at ‘crimes’. Not deduction, not solving crimes, but someone who is familiar with how the murderer or culprits would commit crimes. Both Luo Wenzhou and Tao Ran know Fei Du well, because they first met when Fei Du was in high school, when he called the police because his mother had hanged herself in the house, and since then Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou look out for him, spending holidays with him, giving him presents here and there. Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du overcome their misunderstandings of each other and fall in love while solving all the cases and the larger conspiracy behind it.

Other CPs: Tao Ran and someone he knew first from his school days or was a neighbour when he was younger, I can’t remember, but they meet again at a blind date and end up living in the same building on different floors XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Complete!! There’s a huge post floating around on Tumblr with all the links (I can’t find it right now) and on Twitter you can also find the collated, epub versions etc.

Drama/Live-Action: Rights for a live-action was signed, no casting confirmation or set dates yet

5. 犯罪心理 | Criminal Psychology by 长洱*

Summary: Police captain Xing Conglian drags psychologist Lin Chen out of seclusion/hiding to solve a case that is indirectly tied to him. Lin Chen was involved in a case a few years ago that led to four deaths - these four victims were the sons/daughters of four of the five huge old-money (super rich) families in the country and these family members sought to make Lin Chen’s life very difficult for him afterwards by making him lose all the jobs he can find, by surveilling his every move and ensuring that he’s not happy etc. Because of that, he backed out of the police force as well and quietly lived as a school dorm administrator, which is where Xing Conglian finds him a few years later. Lin Chen fakes his death after the first case (not deliberately but kind of a by-the-way thing), but as fate would have it, he ends up meeting Xing Conglian on another case, and he decides that he’ll move in with him and also involve himself again, consequences be damned, and they fall in love!

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet.

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of.

6. 死亡万花筒 | Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪* (MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE)

Summary: Supernatural setting where people who are about to die get a second chance to live. These individuals are either in the midst of a dangerous situation (for e.g. a shootout or a deadly mugging incident) or are about to get into accidents (for e.g. an entire bus going off a bridge or a chandelier dropping from above and crushing the person underneath) or are ill (recently diagnosed with cancer or are terminally ill with a condition for e.g.) - The list is endless, and in the situation between life and death, 12 doors will appear before them. 

It is said that once these individuals finish all 12 doors, they will truly get a second chance at life and survive whatever cause of death they were imminently facing. 

Each door represents a creepy, supernatural mystery, and Lin Qiushi finds himself in a strange place after opening a door when he was trying to enter his apartment one day. He meets Ruan Baijie, a beautiful, tall woman who he happens to meet, and they realize that in this strange world, he and other individuals who came through the door have to complete a given task, find a key and an exit door, and make it out alive. The others in the team (some of which have already gone through several doors) explain to Lin Qiushi, who is a first-timer, what the doors are about. 

The catch is, if they die inside the door, in the real world, they’ll die immediately, by accident, throwing themselves off a building, or just throwing up blood until they die (just to name a few)

On the first night, however, three people are slaughtered and eaten by a long-haired ghost/creature. The good news is, Ruan Baijie isn’t all that she seems to be (for one, she’s not exactly a woman) and she takes a liking to Lin Qiushi immediately.

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet!

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of, but honestly, this novel would be fricking EPIC as a live-action, and really creepy, but this is my all-time favourite novel, I kid you not!!!!

*I’m definitely doing a longer and more detailed to-read for KOD on my translation account, gosh you guys have no idea how much I love this.

7. 当年万里觅封侯 | Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by 漫漫何其多

Summary: Yu She and Gu Wan were close friends for a short period of time when they were younger, but unfortunately their identities and positions meant that they were opponents. Yu She’s family was for the Second Prince and Gu Wan was taken in by the Sixth Prince’s family, but in the end it was the Second Prince who ended up getting to the throne, while the Sixth Prince was accused of treason and died somewhere far away at war after being captured. Gu Wan’s only wish was to keep the Fifth Prince’s children - Xuan Rui and a pair of twins, Xuan Yu and Xuan Congxin safe, and so he moves them to another province and asks the Emperor (the Second Prince) to demote Xuan Rui’s status to prove that they are no threat to the Emperor, if only to stay alive for another day.

However, their days of hardship have only just begun, and Gu Wan decides to namedrop Yu She, whose family is so powerful now, and claims that Yu She loves him and that he was wooing Gu Wan back in the days they knew each other so that officials and others would treat the children under his care better. A few years pass and Yu She doesn’t expose Gu Wan. Gu Wan thinks they can go on like this forever, until the Emperor asks Xuan Rui and the twins to head back to the palace for a visit.

Gu Wan meets Yu She again, but the boy he knew, who was gentle, a stickler for rules and a proper, well-mannered person, has changed almost completely. Cue palace conspiracies again, brothers fighting for the throne, scheming consorts etc. XD 

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet but I’m not super sure on this

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of!

*They came out with a new reprint edition three days ago and it’s gorgeous! And comes with amazing freebies, and I am a sucker and read it on the day of the printed novel release because I saw the art and loved it, wanted to see if the story was any good, and damn after chapter 2 I WAS GONE and then I checked out two copies from different stores for the two different sets of freebies 

--

A list of those I haven’t read but I see are highly raved about:

1. 二哈和他的白猫师尊 | The Husky & His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun

- I’ve already been spoiled and I know what goes on mostly, and there are a lot of warnings for a reason, but I’m still a fan, and let’s not get into the debate on the content, I know I have to read this but the angst level is apparently ridiculous, so I need like some mental preparation before I sit down for it.

2. 千秋 | A Thousand Autumns by 梦溪石

3. 烈火浇愁 | Lie Huo Jiao Chou by Priest

4. 将进酒 | Qiang Jing Jiu by 唐酒卿

- A really good group of translators picked this up initially on Twitter, but then assholes were complaining that they were being too slow and insisting that machine translation (MTL) did an equally good and faster job, so the OG dropped it, and then another nice team picked it up, but MTL team is still being an asshole XD I’ve heard really good things about this one, it’s apparently quite complex as well, I’d liken it to Shapolang level? But it might be even more complex (with a lot of politics and stuff), so much so that apparently the printed novel comes with a relationship/character chart so readers are at any point in time clear on the characters which is like amazing XD

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH27

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 27: Star Death Reality Show (X)

Lara's words drew silence from everyone.

That afternoon, after the search for Mark and He Yi failed, Dr. Lu had complained casually that the snow was too slippery, and he accidentally fell—he had fallen three times in one afternoon, and the number of times he fell might have doubled if Du Yue hadn't been watching him the whole time. This had reminded everyone that they would be living here for the next six days, and they couldn't travel on the snow every time.

So the five of them, together with Xue Jiahui, Janet, and Alex, who were present to help search at that time, eight people in total, had carried the necessary snow-shovelling equipment to each house and swept out a snow-free road near their houses, leading to the church in the middle of the village. And Jing Siyu, Jing Sixue, and Annie, although not missing, had not cleared their paths, nor had the missing Mark and He Yi.

Lara's thinking was very clear. If someone had knocked Xue Jiahui out and taken her away, unless he went to the church first along the snow-free path Xue Jiahui had cleared and then gone to someone's house to hide her along the seven snow-free paths connected to the church, his footprints would otherwise be left in the snow.

"But in the afternoon, we walked around and left many footprints on the ground, which are difficult to distinguish now," Qi Leren countered.

"Let’s look for it along the way," Lara said.

This search went on throughout the night, but there were no extra suspicious footprints on the ground and there were no clues in the people's houses. By dawn, Dr. Lu was too sleepy to keep his eyes open. He followed the crowd with a yawn and walked into the church with them to have a rest.

"The Best of the Day will be broadcast in two hours. Let's just wait for it before we rest," Lara said.

Dr. Lu said, "I can't do it. Let me take a nap and just... call me when it’s time."

Giving a look of being exhausted, he yawned hard enough that tears almost fell. Qi Leren patted him on the shoulder: "You might as well go back so you can sleep. Have Du Yue accompany you."

"Aren't you sleepy?" Dr. Lu muttered.

"Not too much." Qi Leren also felt a little tired, but it was probably because he was tortured by Chen Baiqi. His energy was better than before, so he could stay up all night.

"Forget it, I’ll take a nap on a couch here for a while, just for two hours, I’m too tired to leave," Dr. Lu murmured and yawned again.

Seeing that he was so sleepy, Lara  smiled and said, "You can't sleep on the couch either. It would be bad if you caught a cold."

Qi Leren suddenly remembered the glowing stone: "Lara, do you remember that glowing stone? You and Francis found it in a cave yesterday."

"Oh, what's wrong?" Lara wondered.

"Before going to Xue Jiahui’s, we passed the church to look at the stone. It turned out that... It was a bit strange, you should also have a look," Qi Leren solemnly said.

Lara nodded and walked with Francis towards the back room of the church.

Pushing open the unlocked door, the old room was illuminated by the polar daylight outside the broken window. But the first thing the people who walked into this room saw would never be the stone that had broken into two pieces and lost its luster in the corner, but Xue Jiahui lying on the ground.

"Xue Jiahui!" Qi Leren let out a low cry, and Dr. Lu, who was about to fall asleep, hurried up to check her condition.

"Still alive, breathing and heartbeat are normal." Dr. Lu touched her neck and let out a long sigh of relief.

"Why is she here?" Du Yue wondered.

"We'll know when she wakes up," Qi Leren said, and looked at the stone that was no longer shining.

Before, when he was busy performing for the audience, he hadn't noticed that there was dried blood on the stone's surface that penetrated into the crevice. When he thought of the bloodstained bandage found in Annie's room, he inevitably linked these two things together.

Was it because of Annie's blood that the monster in this stone was awakened? It made sense. As a member of Deep Sea Religion, Annie would recognize this stone as a natural thing. Although she was resting in the house because she was feeling unwell that day, Mark had seen the stone, and it was likely that he had told Annie.

But this guess wouldn't be recognized even if it was spoken aloud. After all, this group of contestants still didn't know that a terrible monster had appeared here... After Xue Jiahui woke up, he would look for an opportunity to let her identify the pictures of the octopus so that the chain of logic could be made. Qi Leren was going to do this.

After more than an hour, the contestants came to the church one after another, waiting for the announcement at 8 o'clock. Jing Siyu was much better. She came with her sister Jing Sixue, and Annie also came. When she saw Xue Jiahui, she raised her eyebrows: "Didn't you say she was missing?"

"She was found more than an hour ago in the room behind the church hall. Also, the glowing stone we found on the first day has been broken... Something is wrong," Lara said in a dignified way.

Janet, who had just arrived, smiled mockingly and said nothing.

Xue Jiahui, who had been placed on the couch, let out a loud groan, and everyone looked at her. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around in confusion.

"Are you alright?" Lara sat down beside her and asked softly.

Xue Jiahui opened her mouth and asked hoarsely, "Who are you?"

When she said this, Qi Leren screamed in his heart. The important clue-NPC fell off the chain at the critical moment via the ridiculous method of amnesia, which simply cut off the possibility of obtaining intelligence across the board. He had a faint feeling that there was a 90% chance that this boss-enemy was the "octopus" mentioned during their discussion before, but he knew nothing about it except that the octopus was a parasitic cosmic alien. He didn’t know its habits, fighting capacity, or whether it would reproduce rapidly.

While Qi Leren was struggling, Lara had already asked about Xue Jiahui's condition. She had really lost her memory and even forgotten who she was. Obviously, it was impossible to remember that she had done a program about "amphioctopus".

Janet held her forehead and sighed in an ostentatious manner: "I am really fed up with cooperating with the performance, even a memory loss scenario has come out. I think Miss Xue won yesterday's Best without any problem."

As soon as she spoke, the speaker started: "Now broadcasting the voting results. The winner for the Best of the Day is: Qi Leren."

The people present uniformly turned their attention to Qi Leren. Janet, who had been beaten on the spot, looked at Qi Leren in a particularly bad way. Dr. Lu was more excited than he was that he got the Best. He said happily: "Congratulations, please come have dinner with me and Du Yue later to celebrate!"

"Thank you... Well, thank you all for your support and love." When Qi Leren remembered that there was an audience, he had to smile and pretend that he was very happy, but his brain was spinning: How could he be rated as the best yesterday? Was it because he’d found that the glowing stone was broken? Or for some other reason?

On the second day of this reality show, many things had happened: Jing Siyu fell into the basement, Mark and He Yi disappeared, they searched the basement, Xue Jiahui disappeared and lost her memory...

He had participated in almost every one of these events. It was probably because of his positive performance and occasional "flash of light" discovery that he had gotten so many votes, Qi Leren thought.

"It's a pity, I thought Miss Xue could get the Best, but it turned out to be Qi. It seems that the audience is more fond of conscientious and obedient actors." Janet looked at Xue Jiahui with a playful mockery.

Xue Jiahui looked confused and overwhelmed, and Qi Leren could not see the sense of recognition in her face. He was now not sure what had happened to Xue Jiahui. If someone had really knocked her out, who could it be?

"It's still strange. The three of us came to the church at eleven o'clock in the evening. At that time, there was no one in the room. After that, we went to Xue Jiahui’s, and the journey took only ten minutes at most. Why was Xue Jiahui hidden in this room? Who brought her here? How did the perpetrator avoid other people?" Dr. Lu murmured, his brow wrinkling more and more tightly as he looked very distressed.

"I’m afraid that only the audience will know this," Lara smiled bitterly. "After all, we can't check these cameras."

"Unfortunately, we can't get help from the audience outside the stadium," Francis said.　

"Actually, it shouldn’t be impossible," Qi Leren suddenly said.

"Do you have a communicator?" Janet looked at Qi Leren with suspicious eyes.

"No. Like you, I have no other tools except a knife. The fixed cameras are installed inside and outside the church. The audience watching the screen clearly knows who brought Xue Jiahui here while she was knocked out. As long as they tell us the name of the person, everything will be understood," Qi Leren said slowly, looking at the speaker.

Lara's eyes brightened. "You mean..."

Qi Leren smiled and nodded.

Although this speaker would only broadcast the names of the Best, even if it was just a name, it would play a great role in cracking the current puzzle.

"Qianbei is too powerful!" Du Yue actually clapped his hands on the spot, and his admiration was beyond words. Dr. Lu on the side covered his face with one hand and his mouth with the other. It was a shame that this fanboy gave exaggerated praise regardless of the occasion!

"This is also an idea, but will the audience cooperate?" Francis asked.

"Let’s try it. Will you ask them?" Qi Leren invited Lara.

Lara nodded and took a deep breath before solemnly saying, "Hello, audience and friends, welcome to our program. Today is the third day of the program, and many unexpected accidents have happened, especially the accident to Xue Jiahui. We can't figure out who knocked her out and brought her to the back room in this church, and we don't know what the motive is. We hereby implore the audience who have watched this program to vote for the man who committed the crime when they vote for today’s Best of the Day. This is very important to us, please help us. Thank you!"

-----

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

[hutchhitched]

The Vintage Joshifer Series: End of Love—Chapter 20

End of Love by hutchhitched

Hey, all! For those of you still interested in this story and/or Joshifer, I’ve finally finished it! This is the penultimate chapter. Chapter 21 will post next Tuesday. It’s already written, so no delay this time. I am beyond grateful my muse chose to grace during the month of July, and I’m equally thrilled to put this story to rest after next week. Even though the events in this chapter took place a little over five decades ago, current unrest in New York, Oregon, and a number of other places are reminiscent of the struggles of those years ago. It’s disheartening, but this story has always been a little too close to current events. I know I’ve said this often, but the fight’s not over.

Historical events in this chapter include the following:

The Stonewall Riots began on June 28, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn, a well-known gay bar, in Greenwich Village in New York City. Gay patrons, tired of frequent police mistreatment and brutality, fought back when police raided the bar. The struggle evolved into a six day civil rights protest and ushered in what is known as “gay pride.” The words of Jennifer’s news report comes from an article in the New York Times on June 28, 1970. I took some artistic license by including it a year prior in the story.

WNBC is the local NBC affiliate for New York City. It gained its call letters in 1960.

There was a massive presence of African American trans activists involved in the Stonewall Riots. I don’t include that in Josh’s experience because I wanted to keep him close to his friend’s character in the story, but intersectionality studies have done a wonderful job at providing a better look at the true historical picture of Stonewall.

The Stonewall Inn is still a working bar in New York City. I was able to visit in the days following the legalization of gay marriage in the United States in June 2015.

Last but not least, the Woodstock Music Festival took place in August 1969 near Bethel, New York. It was a three day music festival that was the pinnacle of the counterculture movement in the United States.

New York City, New York, June 1969

 “Where’s your friend’s place?” Connor asked as he and Josh exited the subway and onto Seventh Avenue. “I’m ready to put this bag down and get to the bar.”

 Josh grinned at his younger brother as they hoofed it south to Andre’s apartment. It had been much too long since Josh had experienced all the city had to offer, and he was looking forward to trying to forget his broken heart in booze and weed and meaningless sex. As if any of that actually dulled the pain he felt every time he thought about Jennifer. Which was every second of every single day.

 “Quit being so impatient. We’ve got nothing else to do besides party for days. Happy graduation, bro,” he said with a clap on Connor’s shoulder. “And we’re here.”

 Andre buzzed them up, and Josh tried to hide his happiness at being reunited with his friend. They hadn’t seen each other since the concert in New Haven before… Before he went back to Chicago and fell into domestic bliss with Jennifer and lost himself in the process. If he could figure out how to go back and do it over, he would, but the fact was that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. Monogamy wasn’t his thing, and nothing about the months he’d spent in the Midwest made him think he could balance his personal life with activism. He wasn’t good at splitting his attention between two things, especially when one was a leggy blonde whose pussy made him want to worship between her legs for days. Besides that, he was in love with her, and it scared the shit out of him.

 “Good to see you, man,” Andre huffed through their hug. “I need a catch up on everything since we last talked. Been out in Cali with your bro, huh?”

 “Yeah, Andre you remember Connor. Connor, Andre. Out at Stanford with him. Just trying to find my way back.”

 “Back to what?”

 “Let’s smoke a bowl first. Then I’ll tell you. It’s too much right now.”

 An hour later, the three were sprawled across the living room as smoke hung heavy in the air. Josh felt his bones dissolve and his head float into a happy space, one where he wasn’t a fuck up or a failure. Instead, he was that idealistic kid from Kentucky who genuinely believed he could change the world, shape it into something that was just for everyone, including Andre and his own  brother, who’d come out since Josh joined him in Stanford. He hadn’t wasted 1968 in bed with Jenn. He hadn’t failed to help change the minds of those who looked down on others as inferior.

 “I went to Chicago. You know that,” he spoke into the haze swirling above his head. “I found her. She was beautiful. Is beautiful, and she’s so talented. So much more herself than she was at Berkeley. I’m so proud of her. She’s a reporter on the local NBC station. Reported on the DNC protests and made a name for herself, but me… Things didn’t go so well for me. Chicago chewed me up and spit me out and ruined me. She ruined me. Except she didn’t. She saved me. I lost myself, and I was dragging her down with me. I couldn’t do that to her. I had to leave, to give her space to really shine, and to figure out how the fuck to find myself again because I’m so lost. I don’t know how to fight anymore. How to stand up for what’s right when I know I’m not doing that for her. I don’t deserve her, man. I don’t, and I couldn’t drag her down anymore. So, I left. I wrote a note, and I ran. Haven’t talked to her since.”

 His voice trailed into silence, but the music continued to pulse. Andre nodded, clearly working through the information, and Connor closed his eyes and rolled his head from side to side. Nothing Josh had said made him feel any better. All he’d done was be honest about his actions. He wasn’t looking for approval, and he wasn’t looking for advice. The best thing he could do was leave her alone to succeed and thrive on her own.

 He told himself that later that night when he picked up a woman in the bar and fucked her in the bathroom. He repeated that mantra when his brother decided to return to California and leave him in New York to find a job. He insisted he was being honest with himself when he switched on the local news and realized Jen had transferred to New York. And then he reiterated it when he agreed to join Andre for drinks at the Stonewall Inn.

 ****

 Josh swept his dark hair out of his eyes and pulled it back into a ponytail. He chuckled at the thought of what his dad would say if he saw his elder son’s hairstyle. Chris had always been loving and supportive outside of his frustration over his injury, but that didn’t mean he thought men should wear long hair. It was shaggier than Josh was used to. At some point, he needed a haircut, but he couldn’t seem to justify paying for something so mundane when there were a million other things that were more important. He was itching for a cause to support in a meaningful way, and it felt like something was coming.

 The air itself was heavy. New York City in the summer was often full of heat and humidity and that day was no different. The temperatures hung in the mid-90s well into the later afternoon as he made his way south through Greenwich Village toward the gay bar Andre frequented.

 It felt good to be in the city. Even though he’d never lived there, it felt right somehow to be in the cradle of counterculture, even if he’d gotten a little too comfortable with the status quo during his months in Chicago.

 Seven months since he’d seen her in person. He still couldn’t think about what she’d felt when she found his note, how she’d crumbled when she realized he wasn’t coming back. He knew she’d been waiting for it. Despite his irresponsible actions and inability to commit, he understood Jen better than he did himself. She’d known he was going to run, had been preparing for it the entire time they’d spent together, and he’d proven her right.

 Being without her was terrible for him, but it was everything she deserved. She was too good for him, always had been. Even when she was spoiled and selfish, she’d had class and an innate kindness that he’d never be able to emulate. Josh strolled the last short distance with a wry grin gracing his face. He allowed himself the length of the block to beat himself up, and then he plastered on a smile and waltzed through the door of the Stonewall Inn.

 The bar was dark with bulky furniture and a long row of stools framing the shiny wooden counter. Bartenders pulled beer and mixed drinks quickly and served them with flirtatious smirks that elicited copious tips. Andre called his name from the back, and Josh twisted his way through laughing groups of men who were finally able to relax in a world that wasn’t ready to accept them.

 “My man,” he said as he tugged Andre into a hug and was then introduced to the rest of the group. He tried to remember their names, but the words were lost in the din of the club. He ordered a beer and sat back to listen as his friend interacted with the other men.

 “Things are worse,” Andre insisted. “There hasn’t been a raid in a while, but it’s only a matter of time before the pigs show up again.”

 “It’s shit,” another man agreed and tucked his blonde hair behind his ears. “Sometimes I wonder if we ought to do something about it. Fight back next time or take it to the streets.”

 Andre seemed more relaxed than Josh had ever seen him as the group discussed the political climate of the nation. Advances in equal rights for a number of groups hinted that change could be in the near future for gays and lesbians, too, but it was understandable that the bar’s patrons didn’t trust the nation’s power structures. And why would they? There’d been so little progress for the gay community since McCarthyism and the oppression of the decade before.

 Josh lost track of time as he drank and listened. He contributed when he felt like he had something to say, but he mostly enjoyed hearing about the movement from insiders instead of trying to insert himself. Despite his close friendship with Andre and his own brother’s coming out a few months prior, he didn’t have a lot of contact with men who were attracted to other men. He’d always loved the female form, although he’d considered sexual attraction to the same sex. Somehow, it had never happened, and he didn’t feel like forcing something would do any good. He’d rather be supportive of those who had those feelings that try to be someone he wasn’t.

 A tussle by the door caught his attention. Andre and the others at the table tensed, and Josh felt the hair on his arms rise. Something was happening, although he wasn’t sure what.

 “It’s a raid,” Andre muttered as he rose and pushed Josh behind him.

 “What do you mean?”

 “I mean, it’s a raid. The pigs are here.”

 Josh watched in disbelief as police swarmed into the bar and yelled at the patrons. Drinks spilled, and men scrambled as police batons emerged and landed on those sitting at the bar. Time seemed to slow down, and he watched in disbelief as a brawl broke out in front of him. He’d drunk too much; that much was clear, but he felt like he was in a dream. Drifting along beside Andre, he joined the protest, raising his voice next to his friend and others he didn’t know. He yelled and marched and raised his fist as the streets became a battleground. He watched as those around him sparked with pride and celebrated their liberation.

 He hadn’t felt the rush of working for something that mattered for so long, and it felt amazing. This wasn’t his personal fight, but it also was. What could be more personal than standing against police brutality and for the rights of everyone?

 As the sun rose over the horizon, Andre and he stumbled home and slept for a few hours before rejoining the fray. For the next three days, he felt himself coming alive. When the police beat him, he curled in on himself and ignored the pain, and when it was all over, he lay in Andre’s apartment and realized he had to stop running. He’d left Chicago because he wasn’t worthy of Jen’s love, and he’d done nothing in the seven months since to change that. He needed a purpose, and he had to stop waiting for one to come to him. Instead, he had to go find it.

 ****

 But then suddenly she was there on his television—Andre’s television—and he forgot everything except how much he missed her. He gaped at the screen as she talked and tried to quell the ache in his gut.

 “…today’s remnants of the riots from Greenwich Village. A reminder, thousands of young men and women homosexuals from all over the Northeast marched from the Village to the Sheep Meadow in Central Park three days ago, proclaiming ‘the new strength of pride of the gay people.’ This movement, which some are calling gay pride, rejects the oppression of gay men and women and demands equal treatment and respect in society and under the law.

 Thousands have taken to the streets, marching and protesting against police brutality and raids of gay bars and clubs. I’ve spoken to a number of protestors, and each reminds me that this movement has been long in the making. Stay tuned for further coverage. In the Village, I’m Jennifer Lawrence for WNBC, Channel 4.”

 “That a girl,” he murmured as the screen faded from her to the anchor in the studio.

 She looked amazing. A little more mature and stylish than she’d been in Chicago but also happy and confident. The slightly nervous energy she’d always portrayed on the screen in the Midwest seemed to have evaporated on the East Coast, and it was a good look on her.

 “Was that her?” Andre asked lazily, his grin visible from the dim corner. “That’s your chick?”

 “Yeah, that’s her,” he breathed.

 Andre took a hit and passed a bud to him, and Josh inhaled twice sharply. It took a few minutes, but the marijuana did exactly what he wanted, which was to loosen him up and relax. He couldn’t believe they were in the same city again, and he wondered briefly if they were drawn to each other unintentionally or if there were cosmic forces at work to reunite them. How could he explain to anyone that two people who lived in Kentucky ended up halfway across the country together at college in California, reunited and lived together in the Midwest, and then landed in the same city on the East Coast?

 Well, now he needed to get his shit together. The only problem was he had no idea how other than following his calling. He was an activist. That was part of him down to the marrow in his bones, and she was still a reporter. How was he ever going to reconcile that restless, never satisfied portion of him when Jenn was a part of the system? How could he fight “the man” when the woman he loved was part of it?

 “I can see the wheels turning, Hutch. What’s going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours?”

 Josh sighed and swiveled his head to face his friend. “I’ve never been good enough for her. I don’t know what to do except leave her alone, but I can’t stand being without her.”

 “You know, you don’t have to give up everything for a cause, especially when it’s not your own.”

 “They’re all my causes,” Josh protested. “Just because I’m not oppressed doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work for change.”

 “Just because oppression exists doesn’t mean you should martyr yourself.”

 Josh started to retort but snapped his jaw shut. The words hit hard and low in his stomach. His friend was right. Denying himself happiness wasn’t helping anyone else, and it certainly hadn’t made his or Jennifer’s lives any better. He’d broken both their hearts for far too long, and he had to figure out how to make it right.

 “You’re right, man. I know you are, but I’m just not there yet,” Josh sighed. “I think, though, that I might need to move here once I am.”

 “Always a spot here for you, Hutch.” After a few minutes of silence, Andre added, “There’s talk of an event here in a few months. Think you could stick around and facilitate planning? Might help you get your mind right, and then you can head back to California to see your brother and get the rest of your stuff.”

 “Yeah, I can do that, I guess. What is it?”

 “A concert. Somewhere upstate.”

 “A concert?”

 “Not just a concert. It’s a movement. Days of music, and all of us communing with nature.”

 Josh rolled it around in his mind for a few minutes. It sounded like something to occupy his time while he got himself together. The next day he met with the planners of an event they affectionately referred to as Woodstock.

 ****

 “Josh, I can’t tell you how much of a help you’ve been during this,” his boss said as they moved a stack of flyers into a crate. “I wasn’t sold when Andre asked me to take you on, but your creative ideas have been stellar.”

 “Just trying to help out however I can,” he responded. “Glad to have something to do that might help the cause.”

 “Every little thing helps. Now, you’re off for the week. Go enjoy some good music upstate. I’ll see you behind the scenes.”

 Josh gave a two-fingered salute and made his way back to Andre’s apartment. They were hitching a ride with some other friends and making their way north to the festival, and he still had to pack before they could leave. He was almost there when he decided to pop into the corner bodega and grab some food. Who knew what kind of opportunities there would be to eat with however many people showed up in Bethel? They’d had to change locations not long ago and they’d tried to plan for all eventualities, but that didn’t mean Josh couldn’t bring some extra sustenance.

 “Always be prepared,” he said to himself with a laugh and turned the corner. He stopped dead in his tracks. Not a hundred feet away was a woman with long blonde wavy hair. “Jennifer?”

 He chased after her, but he quickly realized it wasn’t her. The same thing happened at the festival several times. Woodstock was a gas, a writhing throng of bodies with music that transcended him and made him fly with happiness. For the first time in a while, he felt like he knew himself. He’d helped plan it. He’d thought ahead to bring food when so many others wasted time searching for dinner. He was surrounded by friends and people of like mind. The lack of restrooms and facilities to bathe didn’t bother him. That could all wait until he returned to the city, which came much too soon.

 Back at Andre’s, he smoked weed while he took a long, soothing bath. He jacked off lazily and let his mind drift to a slew of different times he’d been with Jen. He fantasized and planned and finally came to the realization that he needed to head back to California to tie up loose ends and spend time with his brother. Connor would help him focus. Being back where he and Jennifer had first met and fallen in love seemed like a good idea.

 “Tomorrow,” he decided. “I’ll buy my ticket. California, here I come.”

[babystevie]

Crossing Paths

Chapter 8: An off day

Read of AO3: Here

Things were easy, things were good, and Steve wasn’t feeling as though he was going to pass out at any given moment because of his strong aspects in horrific anxiety.

Which was relatively nice.

He was doing normal things that college kids should be doing, instead of hiding from people who apparently knew where he was, which let’s not think about that right now, and leave it hidden away with all the other issues,

A normal college student.

He was currently working on his biology homework, planning on following it up with a nice syllabus he needed to create for his education course before the next class rolled around later in the week, because he was a severe procrastinator at heart.

In the safety of his apartment he could breathe and focus on mundane things such as homework, and due dates and hear the voice of Robin in the other room, commenting on whatever T.V show she was probably only half watching as she undoubtably scrolled through her cellphone.

He smiled to himself, he’d taken his medicine that morning like any person should, and didn’t plan to leave his apartment for the rest of day,

Dustin had sent him a picture of his finished car this morning with a bunch of exclamation points because the boy had finally put the decals on the car, and then proceeded to try and get him to come to the beach because it was a beautiful day.

But, but, today was a Steve and Robin day, and during those days where it was just them, they caught up on things that they had ignored during the weekend, where they went and had fun in the streets of Miami.

And those things for Steve contained his pile of homework from his classes and caging himself into his apartment where he was as safe as he could be, well in his opinion anyways.

“Dingus!” Robin’s voice yelled throughout the apartment, bringing him out of his focus and effectively sending him to walking towards the sound of her voice, which was underneath the comfort of her blanket on the couch, and he smiled before plopping down behind her and laying down underneath the blanket,

“You’re warm.” He stated with a chuckle, making her huff and roll her eyes.

“Take a picture with me.” She stated, moving her phone where it was the both of them in the shot, looking as best as they could in their pajamas, laying down together on the couch in the middle of the afternoon.

He smiled towards the camera, matching her happy expression before the camera clicked and she immediately uploading the photograph to every social media platform, only tagging his second Instagram page from her second, before finally setting her phone down and directing her attention to the T.V in front of her.

The silence was nice, the comfort that they were able to take from one another would probably never be understood by most of the people in their lives, especially the people who were convinced that him and Robin were perfect for one another, and should start dating, since they already lived together.

Which in Steve’s opinion sounded pretty awful, he loved Robin, Robin was his best friend, someone he could share anything with. And they did share many things. Whether it be clothes, makeup, and neither of them could forget the trauma and PTSD that they definitely shared. But he was happy to have someone like Robin.

Dustin was horribly jealous 90% of the time where Steve would choose to stay with Robin at the apartment rather than go to the beach with him and the remainder of the party, but he understood that their friendship was different, Steve and Dustin were family now more than ever, and that kind of love was different, is different.

Robin’s phone pings, and she picks it up where it was forgotten on the blanket over the top of them and she cracks a smile and a small laugh, before shoving it in his face,

And its from Billy,

Stealing him from me Buckley?

And Steve unlocks the phone for her, because he has her password, of course he does and snaps another photo, just of him this time, snaps a picture of himself with a large happy smile, and then another with his tongue sticking out at the camera before pressing ‘send’ and adding a text message once they both say delivered,

Don’t worry L.A, last I checked we had a date coming up 😊

And all the messages say received, read, but Billy doesn’t reply, and Steve smiles to himself, a blush staining his face because he knows, he knows he’s got a face that makes people stare at him. As he’s gotten older, he’s come to realize that a pretty face opens a lot of doors and it grabs attention in a room, if he smiles just right and makes his eyes just a little brighter with eyeliner, or a stream of sparkle, he can use it to get anything he wants.

Which in retrospect is kind of a terrible thing to do, but he though he knows he’s pretty, that he’s got long legs that many men, and some woman he knows, love to look at it, he doesn’t really care. No. He cares when people actually want to talk to him, to him not just to leer at him.

Like Billy does.

Objectively he may not be the smartest, but Steve can make the connection that Billy thinks he’s attractive because hell, he calls him ‘Pretty boy’ and recently has started to call him ‘Princess’ which he enjoys way more than he should, because wow.

Eh

Everyone’s got their flaws, and apparently Steve’s is cute little pet names coming from someone with the bluest eyes he’s ever seen.

“I’m hungry.” Robin states, taking him out of his thoughts, “And if you lay there any longer thinking about Billy, I’m gonna throw up.”

Steve rolls his eyes before pushing her off the couch and outright laughing when she squawks in outrage as she hits the floor,

“C’mon, lets go to that little diner outside of campus.”

He winces a bit as he comes to his full height, where his leg throbs slightly but ignores it for walking into his room and changing into something that wont make him so self-conscious and putting on a black button down, and a pair of black pants that makes his ass look good before grabbing his jacket and meeting Robin in the living room once more where she’s complaining about the fact she’s going to wilt away if they don’t leave right now.

She is ridiculous.

She smiles bright and somehow sighs at the same time before pulling her phone back out and pointing it to him as he walks into the room, and he gives her an overexaggerated pout because he knows that she’s recording on snapchat as she starts speaking,

“We’re just going to the diner he says, I’m just gonna change into someone else real quick and comes back out in this, like he has a right to go everywhere looking like he’s about to walk the red carpet.”

And he can’t help himself and laughs at her while she keeps recording, “It’s called style Rob, look it up sometime.”

And she squawks again, much to his pleasure and walks up to her to flip the camera around before kissing her on the cheek in the frame,

“C’mon, you look fine, now let’s go before you really wilt away.”

“Yes, your highness.” She cackles and stops recording.

They start their short walk to the diner and the older lady they usually have as a server is there and she gives them both a motherly smile before taking them to their normal booth and they sit across from one another before ordering their usual.

Not long after, the waitress comes back to their table, and leans down so she can talk to them more privately,

“Last night.” She whispers with a start, “Couple guys came in here, and I heard them say both of your names. I don’t want to know why, and I don’t want to worry you both, but they left in a big SUV before they left.”

Robin and Steve look at one another in a silent conversation, before Robin smiles and thanks her tightly, smacking a couple 20 dollar bills on the table as Steve pulls out his phone and dials Jonathans number as he waves the woman goodbye, and she gives him a stern stare that screams for him to be careful.

They exit the diner and start their walk back to the apartment to get Robin’s car when Jonathan answers his phone,

“Hello?”

“Get the party together, we’re running out of time.” He states into the phone sternly, not bothering in responding, “Rob and I will be at the shop in 20.”

“Got it, be careful Steve.”

“You too Jon.”

He hangs up the phone and puts it back into his pocket as they turn the corner to see an SUV outside of their apartment,

“Fuck.” Robin hisses, “That has to be them.” Stopping him in his tracks and pushing them both back around the corner.

Steve looks around for a way out of there, and sees a motorcycle before grabbing Robins hand and running towards it as quiet as possible before swinging his leg over, and looking for a key,

It’s in the ignition.

Maybe his luck isn’t as shit as he thought.

He starts the bike, and Robin holds onto him after she gets on and he wastes no time in taking off into the direction of the shop.

And

Their going fast, swerving through traffic, to put as much distance in between them and their apartment as possible. Robin grips to him tighter as they pass campus, pass Billy’s apartment and he feels his phone in his pocket vibrate as Robin squeezes his waist and now, he knows that Billy saw them both speed past

Fuck

15 minutes later they’re driving into the shop, where one of them had opened the doors, it closes behind him and they both hop off the bike, where everyone, the entire party is standing in the middle bay staring at him and Robin before he finally speaks,

“It’s time to find and bring everyone home.”

[iwbfinterviews]

Jake Brown Interview

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer? Is there a particular reason you chose to write about music, singers, etc?

I didn’t actually, lol.  I’m a songwriter/producer first, I grew up playing and writing music but always wrote as a way to kind of get through school because I was terrible at math, sciences, tests, etc.  I think there’s alot of people in the music business who started out like that.  It kind of happened accidentally, I was working for a record label right out of college and started writing copy for their catalog titles, press releases, etc and it just expanded from there.   I met a literary agent through that who suggested I try to write a book, and we sold the Suge Knight memoir to Amber Books, who gave me my start.  Another big early foot in the door moment was when I had the opportunity to write books with Ann and Nancy Wilson & Heart in 2007 and in 2009 with Lemmy Kilmister and Motorhead.  Then the book nearly 10 years into my career that really kind of made me appreciate this career was the opportunity to work with legendary guitar player Joe Satriani on Strange Beautiful Music: A Musical Memoir.  I’d also started specializing in anthology-style books that feature LOTS of exclusive interviews in one book in chapter profiles so you could tell a bunch of people’s live stories at once, including the BEHIND THE BOARDS series, which began 10 years ago as a Rock & Roll producers’ series, the aforementioned In the Studio series with Heart, Motorhead, and others, and then finally about 10 years into living in Nashville I began working on the NASHVILLE SONGWRITER book series and most recently the BEHIND THE BOARDS: NASHVILLE book.  SO: the long answer to that question is, because I love telling the behind-the-scenes stories of both the hits and those who make them, be it songwriters or producers or drummers in the case of the BEYOND THE BEATS rock drummers series, or Hip Hop producers with the DOCTORS OF RHYTHM audiobook and upcoming physical version in 2021.  I’ve also been fortunate to write memoirs with some interesting characters like Kenny Aronoff, country rapper Big Smo and upcoming Freddy Powers The Spree of ’83 book which features Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson.  So it's been an interesting run.

How long does it take you to write a book?

I work on several at once usually, that’s kind of my process, half day on one, a day on another, but for BEHIND THE BOARDS: NASHVILLE, I spent 4 straight months day in and out writing this book exclusively as it was over 600 pages.  I was reading the audiobook for Blackstone as I was writing it too, which was the first time I’ve ever done that.  Usually the audiobook is read after the book is completed.  Then it’s about a month of editing before its handed into the publisher.  So this was a real push, but it was worth it because of the feedback I’m getting first from the producers I worked quite extensively in many cases with on their individual chapters, and collectively in the book being a first of its kind for country music fans where they can read about how their favorite hits by country’s biggest stars were made while listening along on Spotify, iTunes, Tidal, etc.

What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?

Oh, I don’t know... I write every book thinking from the outset before I’ve even started putting words down to paper thinking about how that book will be marketed and promoted upon release.  There’s no point in writing something no one is going to read because when you get to the finish line you don’t have a gameplan on how to make readers aware of it.  Publishers, to be honest, can only do so much in that arena, every publisher’s publicist is usually like a social worker with 30 cases on their desk, so yours can only get so much attention.  So for instance, I always recommend to a writer to hire a great publicist and know that while that’s a considerable expense, it may be the best money you spend in getting the word out about your book because that publicist is working for YOU, not for 30 authors at once.  It's just a fact of the business that I think should get more light shed on it because you’re competing with that number I  mentioned above of 60,000+ books a YEAR coming out.  I also negotiate the right to press my own promo runs of 100 if needed because if not, you’ll wind up with a paltry 10 copies from the publisher, who for their own budgetary reasons, might not for instance be able to service all the physical review copies you’ll have to give away during the book’s promotion, whether to a disc jockey interviewing you on the air or the listener he or she is giving away a free copy to during that broadcast, as just one example.  If you don’t plan ahead for that, you’ll wind up paying that publisher $6 or $7 per promotional copy, which is something I’m SURE some of my own publishers would hate for me to pull the curtain back on, but its true.  Writers are paid LAST usually in the royalty chain, especially early on, but you move up in that order as you build a value into your name as a writer, which only comes with people hearing about you and your book.  So again, HIRE A PUBLICIST, HIRE A PUBLICIST, HIRE A PUBLICIST!  Your agent can be helpful too, but its typically up to you as an author to maintain your own social media presence and look for every available avenue to spread the word about your book so it has a chance to be read.  This is equally important for newer or more established writers, because there’s always a new generation of equally-as-talented new wordsmiths knocking on those publishers’ same doors... 

What do you like to do when you're not writing?

In a studio making music or writing books for the various publishers I work for, or recording audiobooks for Blackstone Audio, so it’s pretty time-consuming.  I did just sign a worldwide music publishing deal for my songwriting catalog with Streets Music and David Gresham Company.  So I’m lucky to stay busy, to be honest, you have to too make a living in the entertainment business.  I have a wife and a dog too, so I spend what time I have left with them. ☺ 

Your 50th book is coming out June 23rd, “Behind The Boards: Nashville”. Can you give us insight on what it will be about? 

First, I exhale deeply every time I get asked that because it's finally DONE!  I spent 2 years collecting extensive, first-hand – many for the first time in a book – interviews with 30 of country music’s biggest producers, and in some cases, that meant waiting for a break in their busy studio schedules to talk, in others it meant multiple conversations over a couple years as we wanted to make sure we had all their current hits as they kept banging them out, and in other cases, because of the sheer volume of their catalog – some of these guys have been in the business since the early 70s – it took that long to chronicle it all.  That’s just the interview process too, then I had to write it and I write everything in one shot vs. a chapter here and there.  Its to me like staying in character as an actor throughout an entire performance, and when you’re writing a book like this, you’re in a headspace that never lets you sleep because creative narrative is CONSTANTLY hitting you about specific hits, and there’s over 300 # 1s in this book.  Additionally, there’s an EXHAUSTIVE amount of research I do to source out certain critical quotes of praise, for instance, from way back in the 80s, 90s, early 00s, etc from magazines that aren’t even in print anymore, as well as supporting quotes from the actual superstars these producers work with in the studio, which also takes a great deal of time.  So after all of that prep, once you begin writing, there’s another 3-4 months before the manuscript comes to life as a finished product.

As a result of that, country music fans here are given arguably the MOST definitive to date book chronicling the stories behind the making of their favorite hits in the studio, again how those artists specifically and uniquely work at their craft – i.e. does George Strait sing each hit over 3 or 4 vocals or 25 or 30 takes, etc – as well as how specific # 1s within those individual catalogs of Greatest Hits were created in the studio.  Then from the other side of the boards, so to speak, you get the producer’s first-hand recollections of their own personal journeys from the time they could first crawl and walk and started discovering music to their teenage bands and first tape-recorder or 2-inch reel to reel or 4-track or laptop home recording sessions all the way up through their rise to become the biggest names in the business working in country music today.  

Collectively, BEHIND THE BOARDS: NASHVILLE features Dann Huff, James Stroud, Jim Ed Norman, Dave Cobb, Justin Neibank, Ross Copperman, Zach Crowell, Chris Destefano, Jesse Frasure, Norbert Putnam, Josh Osborne, Luke Laird, Clint Black, Frank Liddell, Shane McAnally, Jimmy Robbins, Josh Leo, Nathan Chapman, Paul Worley, Jeff Stevens, Jody Stevens, Bobby Braddock, Michael Knox, Don Cook, Frank Rogers, Joey Moi, Ray Baker, and Buddy Cannon, who did the Foreword, which was a TRUE honor.  Frankly, it was an honor to have every one of these legends speak to fans so candidly and openly about both their personal and professional lives in the music business.  Their stories are inspiring, ear-and-eye-opening, exciting, insightful, and hopefully educational for those kids growing up on their records now hoping to break into the same business.  So hopefully, there’s something for everyone who opens the book.

What were the methods you used to get ‘the’ interview with all the big names you’ve written about?

When you’ve been around this long, fortunately you can get in touch with just about anybody, whether they say yes or not to the interview is another story! (laughs)  But I’ve been pretty lucky, especially for instance with my NASHVILLE SONGWRITER book series, which has TWO volumes and 50 of the biggest songwriters in country music in the first two volumes, and a THIRD volume with another 30 legendary songwriters coming out at the end of 2021, and especially with BEHIND THE BOARDS: NASHVILLE, which has 30 of the most legendary record producers in country over the past 50 years, guys like Norbert Putnam, who ran Quad and produced Jimmy Buffet’s “Margaritaville,” Jim Ed Norman, who produced Hank Williams Jr’s Born to Boogie album, Ray Baker, who produced that whole 70s Honkytonk soundtrack including Moe Bandy, Whitey Shafer, and Merle Haggard and Freddy Powers among others.  Then you have the Millennial generation’s biggest names like Joey Moi, Dave Cobb, Dann Huff, Jesse Frasure, Ross Copperman, Shane McAnally and Josh Osborne, Ray Riddle, and on and on.  

What do you think makes a good story?

Well, for this book, the most common thread woven throughout many of the chapters/live stories of these producers were the long-term working relationships they’ve  maintained with many of country music’s biggest stars throughout their entire careers or the majority, for instance, Jeff Stevens and Luke Bryan, Byron Gallimore and Tim McGraw, Buddy Cannon and Kenny Chesney, Michael Knox and Tony Brown, Frank Rogers and Brad Paisley, Miranda Lambert and Frank Liddell, the list goes on and on as long as the Greatest Hits track listings do.  Equally as importantly for a book like this, is the fact it takes the reader quite literally inside the studio and pulls back the curtain on how their favorite country music stars record their biggest hits, and almost literally re-creates their recording from behind the boards by the producers interviewed.  Then on a totally separate front, from the academic side, its a 600-page book full of tips about how the recording process works from all sides, points of views, approaches, ages, and technologies, old and new, from analog to digital and the hybrid of both in the “in the box” generation of record making.  Hopefully, we’ve covered all sides of the process, that was the aim anyway so readers get a 3-D look, so to speak, at how the recording business really works.  

How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?

I sold my first book to my first publisher, Amber Books, in 2001 and Tony Rose gave me my start in the business and I wrote for them almost exclusively for the first 5 years and 10 books of my career from 2002 to 2007.  So having a stable and still exciting publisher willing to take chances on you and equally-as-importantly, the kinds of books you might approach them with, is KEY for any new writer because writers must remember EVERY time a publisher takes a chance on their book, they’re putting real money behind it before they ever see a dime back.  It's a big leap of faith, and carries with it alot of obligations for the author, where it doesn’t just end with handing the book in, but also helping promote it and building a brand for your name so it can become more and more reliable for both readers and new publishers, as any writer’s goal should be to eventually build a catalog where they write for as many publishers as possible throughout their career.  But be prepared to start out writing for one, or anyone for that matter, who you can verify has a good track record as a publisher, or if they’re new to the game, doesn’t just want to put out an e-book, which anyone can do without a publisher, and is willing to commit to a physical pressing, and promotion of that pressing.  I wouldn’t go looking for advances on your first or even necessarily second book out, but start asking for them as soon as possible as its an important piece of the income stream for any working author, as much as royalties are later on down the road.  An advance lets an author know a publisher first can afford to put money into their book, and values them, vs. Alot of these starter deals that promise big back-end but nothing up front.  You have to be able to afford to take that hit once or twice out of the gate, but its not a career model any writer should plan on if they want to make a living as a working author.  The other reason I mention all this is because being a working writer is not just about the creative side of the process, but the entrepreneurial one too, because you have to be a self-promoter, and not be shy to doing interviews or promotion on social media, etc, as you’re competing with a THOUSAND new titles a week minimum these days between all the digital e-books and print books out there. I think the statistic was to be something like 60,000 books published in 2018 alone, so that tells you the competition you’re up against to even get a book sold to a publisher, let alone compete on bookstore shelves for the reader dollar.

What’s your favorite under-appreciated novel?

Of my own books, I wouldn’t say any are underappreciated, I’m grateful for the fact that people still read my books after 20 years and 2 or 3 generations of teenagers (which are a primary part of my reading audience) still buy my stuff.  I try to give them consistently interesting reading subjects, either in the personalities I co-write with – like country rapper SMO, whose memoir My Life in a Jar: The Book of Smo, was released in 2019, or the Freddy Powers Spree of ’83 memoir, which is presently in film development and that I co-wrote a screenplay for with Catherine Powers last year, that was also something different, and say something like legendary R&B producer/artist Teddy Riley’s forthcoming memoir Remember the Times, which we’ve been working on for the past 6 years off and on and is looking like it might be heading to Teddy’s fans’ hands in the next year.  One key thing I tell new writers when asked for input into starting a career in the current climate for our business is be prepared to commit as much time to a book as the artist needs, its similar to an album – if the publisher wants it on a deadline, be prepare to deliver, but getting an artist to open up in depth about their life takes time, both to build trust and to physically take the time to do the interviews not only with them in principle but also with the huge list of supporting cast members between peers in the band and business and family members and friends, record executives, peers, etc that usually wind up on those lists.  It's a process you should NEVER RUSH yourself, only move at the rhythm of the people you work with and for, and you’ll wind up working alot longer in the business than those who are in a hurry.  

How many unpublished and half-finished books do you have?

Haha, I actually have a folder called “Projects That Probably Won’t Happen” and its filled with all kinds of “famous” bands/musicians books that just never got off the ground for one reason or another, but they’re all under contractual deals where I can’t talk about them in case they want to put a book out in the future, and I hope they all do.  Sometimes you encounter someone who is thinking about writing a book but is really 10 years before they’re ready to, or they aren’t really committed yet past the concept, so you do some sample chapter interviews but it never gets past that starting line.  I’ve thankfully left on good terms with the majority of those names, but with 50 published books in my catalog, most of what I have committed my time to has thankfully made it to store shelves.  That’s important for any new writer to remember, because with every new book project you take on, you’re committing a year to two years of their life to that process from the start of interviews through the completion, handing it into the publisher, editing, etc.  Anyone in a rush usually isn’t going to get anywhere is what I’ve found, it takes time, even if your mind is moving a million miles a minute, and your ambition even faster, pace yourself and you’ll last a lot longer in the race I’ve found anyway (cheesy sports metaphor aside ☺).  

Do you read your book reviews? How do you deal with bad or good ones?

Haha, I’ve had some good and bad experiences there over the years.  I have NO problem with a consumer buying my book and then reviewing it one way or the other on say Amazon or Audible, etc, because that’s part of the business, but as far as book reviews from other writers, I just have to hope they like it and write fairly about it as it does matter impressionistically what readers then think of it as a potential product to buy and read themselves.  Sometimes, in walking the fine line I have to be between the technical and the creative in a series like this or Nashville Songwriter or say my In the Studio series, which has over 10 books in it alone, so you never know.  Its something I don’t pay alot of attention to as well because by the time a review comes out, the book has been out a couple months usually and we’re on the back-end of a promotional push, so if its a good review, it's a nice 4th quarter boost of coverage, and if it's not, then it's pretty buried vs. hurting the book’s launch on the front end.  I’m just being honest, sorry, but book reviews play a very MINIMAL role in most books’ launches if they’re properly promoted via author interviews, premier placements as we’ve done with American Songwriter, CMT, SoundsLikeNashville.com and others coming up, and for any newer writer, accept ahead of time that you’re GOING to get a bad review here or there, it's just part of the subjective review process, and doesn’t speak for your larger reading audience.  

Do you believe in writer’s block?

Not when you write for a living.  It's not a luxury I think any of the writers I know who work professionally writing books can afford, that’s why you have to follow the simple rule of A.B.W. (Always Be Writing) ☺.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Probably doing the same thing, writing is how I make a living, so it's will be with me until arthiritis set’s in, but I’ve got 2 screenplays in development and hope to have at had at least one of them produced into a film.  I’m not unrealistic to think that it will go to theatres, but I’d be happy to see a streaming service selection with my name on it as a screenwriter, there’s 3 or 4 of my books fortunately in that cycle right now so we’ll hope one or two of them make it that far.  Beyond that, I’m in the studio every week as I have been the past 20 years making music and will continue doing that, hopefully to a greater degree with these new publishing deals I’ve signed as I have over 200 released songs in my own catalog, none in Country lol, but I just try to keep putting out new creative product across multiple mediums at as prolific a pace as the muse allows without the quality of the end-product being compromised.  That’s the point at which I’d stop I guess, if the quality of the writing lessens to where people don’t want to read my stuff anymore.  Thankfully, I have built up a pretty loyal reading and retail-buying audience over the past 2 decades, and hope to keep putting out books that help music listeners understand how hard and still rewarding a business the record business is.  It's an amazing world to wake up working in every day, and I love helping musicians tell their stories on paper, so we’ll just have to see.  I hope to have hit 60 books by then, although my ultimate goal is another 50 over the next 10 years! (laughs)  Thanks again for your time and support of this latest project!    

[themonkeycabal]

Slightly random but Hodgepodge request: the end of chapter 4 of Its Alright We'll Be Up All Night from the lady who was being followed's perspective. Just a wee snippet of how that wee interaction went down perhaps? Please.

Well, since you said please:

***

Izzy Taveres just wanted to get home. She was having one of those days — her shift at the restaurant ran over with a huge family party that ended in a brawl and a police raid. The train was late, she missed her bus, and now she had to walk because she couldn't justify paying for a cab for five blocks. All of which meant she was going to be even later, and the babysitter was going to charge her extra. And it just … ugh. Her feet hurt, her head hurt, her uniform smelled like sour wine and marinara sauce, and now she was going to have to take down the laundry before she could go to sleep and she really hoped she could find a few quarters in the couch cushions or the junk drawer. God, what a day.

Sighing softly, she trudged down the sidewalk. It was late enough that the streets were relatively quiet. A handful of cars, not many pedestrians. Which is why her heart jumped when she heard the footsteps start up behind her. Closing her eyes briefly, she took a deep breath, and then shook her head. She was being silly. The street was well lit, there may not have been much traffic, but there was *some*, and the neighborhood was a long way from desolate. Still, she pulled her bag a little closer to her body, and slipped a hand into the outer pocket where she had that can of gel pepper spray her sister gave her.

Her steps picked up, and so did her heart rate, as she crossed the eerie black void of a mid-block alley. The footsteps behind picked up with hers and her mouth went dry.

Izzy most definitely did not need this. She really, really did not need this. She could not afford this, absolutely not. She had just enough to get her and Mia through to the end of the next week, and then she'd get paid. If she lost tonight's tips, it would be so much harder. She'd probably have to ask her sister for another loan.

The footsteps got closer. Oh God, she hoped her tips was all they wanted. She had an eight-year old daughter, and while being a single mom was hard, going home to her kid made everything worth it. That's all she wanted, to go home to her daughter. Oh Lord, help her. Please help her.

She thought she felt fingers brush her back and a sharp tang of adrenaline and terror filled her mouth. Pulling out her pepper spray, she hunched her shoulders, and tried to be brave as she turned around to face her attacker. Except, she couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut, which probably wouldn't help. However, before she got all the way around, she heard a weird yelp and a thud, and that presence behind her wasn't there anymore.

Prying open one eye, still hesitant, still afraid, she peeked towards the alley as a man in a black leather jacket stepped out dusting off his hands on his jeans. Another, much larger, man turned towards her and held out his hands, trying to show he was harmless. Except he really was huge and she almost straight up hit him with the pepper spray on instinct.

"Our pardon, miss; we didn't mean to alarm you," he said in a deep, accented voice.

Two more men followed behind the first pair, and Izzy backed away and clung, with a shaky hand, more tightly to her pepper spray. Despite the big guy's attempt to appear not threatening, it was late, dark, and she was out-numbered and terrified.

"Hi, I'm Steve," greeted one of the approaching men. The guy next to Steve turned off and murmured something to the man in the jacket and they both stepped into the alley.

"And I'm Thor," greeted the large man.

Wait …

"Thor?" Izzy repeated, feeling dazed from the still swirling churn of fear.

"Yes," the man grinned a broad smile that flashed in the dim light.

"And … Steve? You're not Steve Rogers, are you?" That could not be right. Not even a little bit. But the big guy was both really big and he had long hair and she'd seen plenty of pictures of Thor. And maybe Steve Rogers looked like, you know, Steve Rogers, but it was still kind of dark by the alley and hard to see clearly. Also her eyes were still kind of squinted. The city could really put a freaking light near the alley. Who designed this lighting? That was terrible and dangerous. She was sending somebody a scathing email when she got home; which, thank God, it looked like she actually would.

"I am," he said gently. Then he waved a hand at the other two who had reappeared form the alley. "And this is—"

"Clint," said the guy in the jacket. Then he thumped the back of his hand on the last man's shoulder and said, "Vasily."

"Stop calling me that," the last guy growled. He looked over at Izzy and hesitated a moment before he muttered, "James."

"Okay," Izzy said. She had no idea who Clint and James were supposed to be, but Captain America and Thor were enough to assure her that she was probably safe.

The fear and adrenaline started to drain, leaving her feeling shaky and a giving her a strange, hollow queasiness in the pit of her stomach.

She would NOT throw up in front of Captain America. She wouldn't do it. Mia would never, ever let her live that down. Actually, she wouldn't be telling Mia about 90% of this story, but her daughter would love to hear that Izzy met the Avengers. Or, two of them at least. Or maybe four? One of them could be the guy with the arrows, maybe the blond in the black jacket? Nobody ever got a good look at Hawkeye without his bow, so who could say? And the other guy, long, dark hair to below his chin, didn't look like Tony Stark for sure, and it's not like Tony Stark would introduce himself as James. So … Hulk? What did Hulk look like when he wasn't green? Did anybody know? Except Hulk didn't have long hair. Except, Hulk was also ginormous and green. And if he could turn big and green, maybe his hair changed length, too?

"Ma'am?"

Oh, Steve Rogers was talking to her while she was stuck in her weird post-terror Avengers spiral. "What? Sorry, I was … just trying to get my head together."

"We were wondering if you'd mind if we walked you home?"

"Uh," she hesitated. Yes, she would like four Avengers to walk her home. Duh. But, also, she was a confident woman with a can of pepper spray who wasn't afraid of the streets (except when she was, because somebody had to put a light on that alley and she would make sure it was done if she had to personally shout at every member of the neighborhood council). "It's not far. You don't have to. I appreciate you … uh, doing whatever it was you did? Was there a mugger? Because I thought— well, I thought I heard somebody but then it was just you? But …"

James and Clint cast quick looks into the alley and shrugged. Steve didn't turn around but his smile looked a little tight. Thor just grinned some more. There was totally a mugger. Though, the mugger was probably currently unconscious or tied up or something. Maybe both. Served him right.

"It's no bother," Thor said. "We were on our way home, as well. We can walk together, as friends."

"It's really fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Besides, don't you live in Manhattan?" Yes, yes, please good-looking Avengers, walk her home. Also, stop trying to tell them not to, mouth. God.

"Our friend," Thor gestured to James, "is opening a tavern in the area. We were walking back from … dinner?" He glanced at Steve, who nodded back. "Yes, dinner. We had hotdogs. And ice cream."

"But not together," Clint offered.

Thor nodded. "Because that would be disgusting."

"Right," Clint agreed, then he frowned. "Although…"

"There was the jalapeño ice cream," Thor murmured back at him.

"Mother of God," James muttered and rubbed at his face with a gloved hand.

Why did he have a glove on? It was like 80 degrees out. And only one glove at that. What was he? Michael Jackson? Oh, maybe that wasn't nice. Maybe he had a problem with his hand. And he was embarrassed by scars or something? Or if he was Hulk, maybe one arm was always green? Wow, Izzy, how insensitive.

Wait … he was opening a tavern in the area? Maybe there'd be jobs. It would be amazing to get a decent job closer to home. Actually, she'd love to move out of the area, because it was getting more and more expensive every day, but her apartment was rent controlled and they'd have to cart out her rotting corpse before she gave that up — aside from their daughter, it was the only good thing her ex-husband The Bum ever gave her before he ditched them to go 'find himself' in Jersey. Plus, Mia's school was close and it was a good one. But, anyway …

"Well, thank you again, but I need to get home," Izzy said, and gave them a wave as she turned to head back up the street.

Steve and Thor fell in beside her. She couldn't bring herself to try to shoo them off again. Besides, AVENGERS! The other two walked behind them.

"You know, I think your bar needs a theme," Clint said.

"What do you mean?"

"Something to get people in the door," Clint explained. "Hey! You know what's due to come back? Tiki bars!"

"What's a tiki bar?" James asked sounding like he didn't want to ask but couldn't stop himself from asking.

"They're awesome. I'll show you."

Izzy had some big doubts about the long-term appeal of a tiki bar. The novelty would turn to tacky really quick. And were they ever really 'in'? She glanced over her shoulder and saw them both on their phones.

James snorted a laugh and tilted his phone's screen towards Clint so he could read it. "Darcy says, 'tell Clint to shut up.' Shut up, Clint."

Clint glowered and shoved his phone back in his pocket; there would be no tiki bar. "Darcy's no fun. She used to be fun, but then she started hanging out with you and her fun level cratered."

"You could have Thursday specials," Thor suggested brightly. "I'll bring you a few casks of Asgardian ales. There are several I think you'll like, though you'll have to mix them with something else. They're far too strong for you mortals. But there are no finer brews in any realm." Thor looked at Izzy and winked. "Thursday is named after me, you know. Thor's day."

That was so weird. She knew he was Thor, but somehow it didn't hit her that he was THE Thor. Or, she knew that, but it wasn't real until he said that, and that mean that he was like hundreds of years old. Or thousands? So weird. "I … remember that from school, I think."

Thor chuckled, mostly to himself. "Ah, Midgard. I love this place."

"Uh, where is the bar going to be?" Izzy asked, changing the subject to one her brain could actually wrap itself around.

Clint waved a hand towards the other side of the street. "You know that big hole in the ground on Havermayer?"

"By the bridge, yeah. Oh, there?" That was disappointing, it was a hole in the ground, and holes in the ground weren't anywhere near being a bar. Plus, Izzy didn't work construction. Well, not yet. If the pay was good, she just might. Also, if they'd hire her without her having any experience. But, she was a hard worker and she'd learn. She could sling concrete. Maybe. She was a hair under 5'1", but that couldn't be disqualifying, could it?

James looked reluctant to talk in general, but he nodded and shrugged at the same time like he was talking and trying to be uninterested at the same time. He wasn't rude or anything, just not very present. "The building on the corner."

"Where the Rosebud Family Restaurant used to be," Izzy said, feeling relieved. Not the hole in the ground! Then she scrunched up her nose and made a 'blah' face. "That place was terrible. I don't know how it lasted so long, it was open thirty years. I think I found cigarette ashes in my hashbrowns once."

"Gross," Cling said with a laugh.

Even James chuckled a little. "We won't serve hashbrowns."

This caught Clint's attention again and he asked, "What will you serve? You know what I miss?"

"I don't care what you miss," James said in a flat voice as he glanced away, his eyes scanning the street restlessly. Looking for trouble? Or looking to escape?

"Bratwurst," Clint said, ignoring him. "The hotdogs tonight reminded me. They were okay, but nobody does good brats here. You'd think maybe somebody would, but no. It's a Goddamned crime."

James pursed his lips and looked up at the sky and Izzy couldn't tell if he was thinking about it, or thinking about strangling Clint. "Maybe."

"I know a place in Iowa," Clint pressed, as if he sensed weakness and was going to take advantage. "They sell all sorts of sausage. German family, they've been making them for like a hundred something years. I worked in their warehouse over one winter when I was a kid. I got paid in liverwurst. Awesome job."

"Remember Mr. Sawicki with the hotdog cart, Buck?" Steve asked with a wistful sort of laugh. "He had the best franks in the city, I haven't found any that taste as good."

"I remember," James said quietly. He glanced at Clint, who gave him a triumphant little smirk.

"My guy does awesome frankfurters," Clint confirmed.

With a sigh, giving in, James nodded. "Give Darcy the number."

"My daughter would eat hotdogs for every meal if I let her," Izzy said, chatting with her new Avengers friends, as one does. Friends who were opening a bar and maybe she'd get a job. No! She wasn't going to try to leverage getting nearly mugged into a job. But, they did bring it up.

Steve's face brightened. "You've got a daughter? How old?"

"Eight," Izzy said smiling back. "And if you stick those hotdogs in a disgusting cornbread mess and fry it, you'll have her loyalty forever."

"I love corndogs," Clint said. Izzy didn't know any of them really, but somehow the idea that Clint — or Hawkeye, if that's who we was — loved corndogs didn't surprise her one bit. "We had some good ones back in the circus. Well, if Cookie remembered to change the oil. Sometimes he didn't for a few days." Clint grimaced and looked away.

The circus?

"It'll be a while," James said, looking thoughtfully across the street. "We just got the place last week. Now we've got to gut it. But Darcy wants to strip the brick off the whole building."

Steve nodded. "It's not that bad, but it doesn't fit."

"Not bad?" Clint echoed, his face twisted in disbelief. "It's horrible. The worst of the 70s. You guys are lucky you missed the 70s. I mostly missed them, but I saw the reruns. That was enough."

Izzy knew the building, it was dingy yellow brick and it looked like a horrible, soulless, government box. It was big and yellow and definitely didn't fit with some of the older brick in the neighborhood. "How do you strip brick?" She asked. "Sand blast it?"

James shook his head. "I guess they have to take this off all the way down to the framing."

"That's a lot," Izzy murmured. It would be a looooong time before that bar opened.

"We'll start in a couple days," James told her.  "But, yeah, there's a lot to do. Probably won't open until the first of next year."

Izzy tried not to pout, and then started thinking about transitioning into construction work again. Being able to walk to work would be a dream come true.

Steve hummed quietly and gave the other man a sympathetic glance. "Kind of rotten timing — starting up just when Darcy's going out of town."

James ran his hand over his face and sighed. "Fur— uh, Nick will be onsite supervising, at least at the start."

"Nick?" Thor asked. "As in …" he covered one eye with his hand and gave James a leading look. "I thought he was dead."

James dropped his head and looked uncomfortable and ashamed, and like he wanted to go back and hide in the alley with the mugger.

Izzy frowned. Except, maybe she didn't want to know. There was drama and then there was probably Godly and Avengers-level drama that she was maybe better off not knowing about. She was curious, it would make for damned fine gossip, but also, might get her black-bagged and tossed in a secret prison somewhere. She had a daughter who needed her. Curiosity wasn't worth the risk.

Clint jumped in and gave them all a sharp look, before quickly sliding his eyes to Izzy and then back to Thor. "You're thinking of our other friend Nick."

"Oh," Thor said and then he seemed to clue into what they were talking about. Good for him; Izzy was lost. "Our other friend Nick. Unlike this Nick, who is not dead. Nick … Hair … son. Yes, Nick Hairson. Harrison. Such a … magnificent head of hair. Not as magnificent as my own, of course, but very nice."

They were crossing under a streetlight, but it was still not exactly day time bright, so Izzy couldn't be sure, but it looked like a little bit of Thor himself died inside when he said all that. The Avengers were horrible liars. Which, she supposed, is what you'd hope for from heroes and role models. And, as a regular person, it was nice to know that even the Avengers could be really bad at something. It balanced the universe.

Izzy saw the lights over her building's front entrance and let out a slow, quiet breath. She made it. With help, but she made it. This long, horrible day that almost went so much worse, but somehow ended up just kind of strange, was almost over. She still had to do laundry, which sucked, and pay the babysitter, which also kind of sucked. But, she made it home safely.

"This is me," she said, waving towards the front doors. "Thank you for walking with me. I appreciate it."

"Of course," Steve said, sticking his hand out for her to shake. "I'm sorry, I don't think we ever asked for your name."

"Izzy Taveres."

"It was nice meeting you, Ms. Taveres."

Steve gave her hand a friendly shake, and then Thor was next, wrapping his giant paw around her little hand. She felt like a toddler next to him. Good lord, he was huge.

"A pleasure, miss."

"Oh, hey," Steve said, as she was now shaking Clint's hand. "What's your daughter's name? I've got something for her." And he pulled a trading card out of his wallet. She saw the Avengers 'A' and his picture in uniform.

James made a sound like a stifled laugh. "You carry around Captain America cards?"

Steve firmed up his jaw and gave the other man a flat look. "Sometimes there's kids."

"Her name's Mia," Izzy said and, okay, today mostly sucked, but the look on Mia's face when she gave her the card would be worth it all. The kid was going to light up like a Christmas tree. It was very thoughtful of him to carry them around, James. Don't be a jerk. Which she, of course, didn't say out loud; she was still hoping for that job.

Steve nodded and took a pen out of his jacket and carefully wrote 'To My Friend Mia' and then his name across the card.

"Now me," said Thor, taking the card and signing his own name. Next he handed it to Clint, who signed it 'Hawkeye' with an arrow as the crossbar on the "H".

James waved his hand, "I'm not one of you jokers." Ah, okay, he wasn't the Hulk. James also didn't shake Izzy's hand, and he hung back away from them a bit, part of the group but also still a little uncomfortable about it. He didn't ignore her, though, and he dipped his head at her in a little bow and offered a little smile. "Ma'am."

Izzy carefully took the card from Clint and waved it in the air to dry the ink so it wouldn't smear. "Well, thanks again guys. Mia will love this."

"Sure thing," Steve said. "Have a nice evening."

There were a trio of additional goodbyes and then the four men started back down the street. Thor's laughter echoed against the buildings and at one point James shoved Clint into the street and Steve yanked him back onto the sidewalk.

Taking out her keys, Izzy unlocked the security door, and trudged up the stairs, her exhaustion on hold as she planned out the carefully edited, but still exciting story she'd tell about how Mom Met the Avengers.

Izzy looked down at the card in her hand and laughed. The Avengers. What a crazy night.

##

[hopeymchope]

So, I'm trying to understand this, from a person who has next to no knowledge on the series. What exactly is going on with Attack on Titan? And I'm more than willing to read a long rant if it means I get an explanation.

If you’re wondering why the tag for the manga blew up in recent weeks, that’s one specific thing - a character “death” (or at least, character-serious-injury) that’s got fans freaking out.

If you’re wondering why everything has been sucking for like two straight years of manga and people like me keep making very salty posts about it, that’s a whole other topic.

And that’s what I’m gonna cover in this rant: How Attack on Titan has been shitting its own bed for more than a year now.

Basic Setup: Attack on Titan takes place in a world where the remnants of humanity live in a walled city. The city’s walls protect them from gigantic, grotesque “Titans” who attempt to devour people on sight.

…but naturally, as the story went on, it got way more complicated.

Most of the problems with the manga began circa the time-skip (which is also where the Anime is going to catch up to once the current season 3 is finished). Rarely has there ever been a time-skip in fiction that’s been wonderfully received, but the four-year gap between “Return to Shanganshima” and the “Marley” arc has to be one of the worst.

But the whole crash-and-burn kind of starts right before the time-skip, when we first learn the name “Marley,” begin to learn the true origin of Titans, and uncover true enemy opposing our heroes via a forced flashback. For the purposes of this little essay, let’s just put all of the Marley-related information into one big collection - I’m not gonna separate the last couple chapters pre-timeskip from all the tons we’ve had afterwards. All things dealing with the aforementioned “enemy” will just go into one big fuckpile.

SO. The time-skip jumped forward fouryears into an arc that lasted almost a year without letting us see any of our established protagonists. Instead, we follow… the enemy I just mentioned.

And since Attack on Titan begins and goes for most of its duration without any clear enemies outside of “TEH TITANS” and “general assholes within the system,” this is where I have to put a spoiler cut.

A Rant on Titan

So the enemy of the characters we know so far is Marley, the actual source of the titans. The world isn’t destroyed at all, naturally. Our heroes just live in one isolated place on the planet, which is forced to be surrounded by Titans because Marley shoved them into that walled city and then created Titans on the regular.

Marley is a nation of………………

…*SIGH*…

okay, look. I could try to call Marley  a “Nazi Germany allegory,” but the allegory is so thin that they’re basically just incredibly overt Nazis. They’re a military-focused nation of incredible genetic pride where purity is celebrated and where one particular race - a group of both different genetic descendancy than them AND of different religious beliefs - are treated as inferior garbage. The Marley government sees “Eldians” as disposable. They are forced to wear armbands with stars on their arms (YES, REALLY) to identify them in public, and they also make them lived in fenced-off, separate communities.

Marley’s science experiments on Eldians (yup, they tossed that in, too) resulted in the creation of the TITANS. It turns the Eldians into mindless prisoners of their own bodies who grow in size, deform, try to eat people instinctively, and long only for their own deaths.

If they made a third AOT video game, it’d have to be something like this. …. So maybe we shouldn’t.

ANYWAY. During this Marley story arc, we mostly follow child soldiers. They’re of “low birth” because of their race. They chose to enter military service in exchange for having their families treated like regular human beings one day, if they earn their way to become titan-shifters. Nevermind that titan-shifters all die within seven years because of the power of turning into a titan - it’s worth it to raise their family’s status beyond just your regular Jews Eldians, right? Nevermind that they’d never really be seen as equals. Even those who have elevated their own rank by becoming shifters are shown to still be subject to some snark and disdain,but yknow - you were just born that way, so you’re shitty regardless, right?

Through this horrific scenario, we follow a few kids in particular - most notably Falco, who is gradually seeing reality and realizing how they don’t deserve to be treated like shit and that this is all a work - and Gabi, who is becoming increasingly militant and more zealous over time.

RELEVANT SIDE NOTE: Gabi’s character design is based upon a sketch Isayama once did of a gender-shfited Eren Jeager (Eren Jaeger is the main protagonist of the series). For that reason, you might be inclined ot think that Gabi is some kind of alternate/parallel Eren.

Except that’s fucking ridiculous, of course!

Gabi is shown to only care about her own rage against the people within the walls of “Paradis” (the sarcastic name for the walled city where all of our heroes come from) above ALL else. She doesn’t care about her family at all, never noticing her brother’s suicidal tendencies and pain even as Falco is acutely aware of it. The fact that her parents are pained by her following her brother’s dark path to becoming a shifter. She doesn’t notice or care. The more evidence that is put in front of her that the other side might not be as evil as she thinks? That just makes her want to commit murder MORE.

Oh, and she DOES murder people. And try to murder more. A lot. She even successfully murders a fan-favorite character - a character who shows her mercy by pointing a gun at her, seeing she’s only a child, and opting to let her live. Gabi repays this mercy by shooting that character in the back later and boasting excitedly about it to anyone who will listen for multiple chapters in a row.

She then tries to top that by attempting to murder that character’s little adopted sister, who is like, maybe 10 years old, tops? Gabi is then protected from harm by Mikasa and now seems to be on the path towards some kind of “redemption arc” because… uh…………..

………………..because Isayama is shitty?

By contrast, Eren struggles throughout the ENTIRE NARRATIVE to bring harm to people who betray him/those he cares about or those who try to kill him/those he cares about, but often runs into incredible challenges when fighting these douchenozzles. The entire time we followed Eren up until now, he always prioritized his family and friends above EVERYTHING. He would risk ANYTHING to protect them and his comrades in the Paradis military… this was true from when he was a young boy at the start of the story up through him being a young man at this point. And he is ESPECIALLY intense about protecting his closest friends, Armin and Mikasa, who he’s known for nearly his entire life. They grew up together.

That’s set in fucking stone for like 90 chapters, so we’re good. Yeah?

Oh, sweet summer child. Perhaps you were so unprepared for Isayama’s Nazi mallet that you didn’t see his secondary weapon coming?

See, the post-timeskip Eren treats his friends like shit. He lies to them, betrays their trust, runs off and starts a literal war on his OWN, and then tells them how much he hates them. Claims he always hated them.

So in the course of just a couple chapters, he goes from saying this:

To swiftly saying THIS:

Note that devastated look in her eyes. Wonderful.

And yes, he’s GOT to be lying, because I don’t think Isayama would juxtapose those two scenes so closely together in some unwitting fashion. But he’s doing so much damage to them by now that I honestly don’t even know if it matters?

Take Hange.

She’s the intelligent leader of the team, the one who always has a wild, unlikely plan. She’s a science whiz and comes up with longshot plans that always seem to weirdly… work out.

We’re told that, three years ago, she was presented a plan to overthrow Marley by Zeke - a fucking bastard who is clearly a member of the enemy, he’s lived with them his whole life, as a child he betrayed his parents to them and had them executed for being disloyal to Marley, and he’s killed COUNTLESS comrades of our heroes - and Hange decided Zeke’s plan was the only possible option and came up with no alternatives for four years. So she made them ally up with the least trustworthy person IMAGINABLE for a terrible plan,b because Hange’s… a stupid sucker now, I guess.

And why is it a terrible plan — aside from the fact that there is literally zero reason to ever believe anything Zeke says to you, since he’s the most evil fucker in the world? Oh, because it hinges HEAVILY around forcing another member of the team — Historia — into a pregnancy to churn out a baby they intend to use for the country’s gain.

Historia’s big character arc in “Attack on Titan” has been her coming to terms with her own identity and OWNING it. She’s been hiding under another identity or been controlled by other people much of her life. She finally comes out under her true name, declares that she’ll never leave in fear or be maniuplated ever again, and then—

… oh wait.. she’s manipulated into being barefoot and pregnant against her own wishes, because their greatest enemy asked for it.

There’s a lot to hate about the post-”Return to Shinganshima” Attack on Titan, in short. From characters becoming inversions of themselves to full fanatical Nazis being treated like redemption babies to complete destruction of self-actualization of other characters and the fact that, even if this is part of some larger plan being manipulated by multiple players (which seems likely), it still won’t really make up for much of the damage… and for that matter, how plausible would it even be?

But basically, there’s going to have to be quite an 11th-hour ass-pull to make this turn out decently in my eyes by now. And that’s not IMPOSSIBLE.

But it’s looking pretty unlikely.

[vocatharsis]

Cogs’ TS2 Apocalypse Run (IX)

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Earlier this year, I started revisiting The Sims 2. After a bit of messing around, I decided I’d take a shot at doing an apocalypse challenge run (specifically Phaenoh’s tiered, mod-enforced version). I didn’t succeed the first time, and didn’t document it with screenshots etc. anyhow, so in this second attempt I’ve resolved to do both. 

(Lots of screenshots & commentary below the cut. If you’re into Sims, nostalgia, challenge runs, and/or silly reflective commentary, feel free to read on!)

THE SMITHS’ FREE STATE, PART 9 - SO LONG, SHELMERDINE

Two mercifully-timed birthdays -- i bet he steals answers on homeworks too -- bidding the founder farewell -- oh goodie, some crap I can clean off the floor -- Muuuum, stop plaguing my sleep -- people in uniforms -- I imagine Foucault would be proud (or not).

Welcome back! Now, this is a sad chapter. The character I started this run with, Shelmerdine, is going to die of old age pretty soon. She’s had a fantastic go of it - managed to max all skills before elderhood, survived the terrible interval in which greyhairs had complete free will, reached perma-platinum for her aspiration. But now it’s time to bid her farewell. 

As a small mercy, she’s set to pass on the day after the two toddlers Aaron and Forseti are eligible to age up via birthday cake, so I won’t have to deal with the toddler ‘relative dies’ fear tanking both of their aspiration meters the day before they start childhood. 

First, let’s do Forseti--

He looks nice when he’s happy ^^

And I waited until morning to age Aaron up, since everyone was kind of tired at that point. 

Yippee!

Love Forseti’s little jump there. 

As I’ve established before, kids & teens aren’t currently allowed to go to school, nor use any skill-building object that isn’t also simultaneously fun. So childhood in the apocalypse is all about grabbing whatever skill points you can, with whatever objects aren’t banned. The most obvious of these is playing chess, for Logic: 

It seems that, with his really low Niceness score, Forseti is inclined to make unconvincing attempts to cheat while playing with others. Attempts of the “hey, look over there” variety, which always end with the other person turning around just as he’s moving he pieces around. I’ll need to find a way to make sure he doesn’t tank his friendships with father and/or brother while he earns his smarts.

Age-rollover time is fast approaching. It’s time to say goodbye to indomitable old Shelmerdine. 

Of course, I had to get a photo with all of her descendants in it. Then she said goodbye to each of her children individually.

*sniff*

And here comes bonesy... 

You guys remember how the death sequence for fulfilled Sims goes, right? It’s a hell of a thing. The Grim Reaper hits on you...

... tells you to pick up an unexplained suitcase (which might contain anything from what was in your Sim’s personal inventory to their emotional baggage, I dunno)...

... and hands you an extremely ethnic-looking alcoholic cup-thing.

And then you become a ghost.

BYE-BYE, SHEL, YOU WILL BE MISSED.

poor, poor Kent

Back to business; I decided on a solution to the “Forseti pissing people off during chess” problem. Basically, he plays on his own in a corner of the basement,

although I will say that this has a second benefit: Juan needs to level his Logic, too! It’s the only skill he needs maxed to be a master architect. 

Both of the careers I’m intending for Aaron and Forseti also require some Logic, but even if this weren’t the case, maxing Logic actually increases the skill-gain rate for everything that isn’t Body or Charisma by 25%, so it’s still worthwhile. 

Get a load of this guy:

Name’s Amar Ku. I was completely blindsided by this guy walking down the street, since I’ve never seen him before. Is his hair dyed, or...? Upon greeting him, he did the ‘Kiss Kiss Darling’ gesture, which means he’s a socialite; he must be Juan’s replacement, rolled randomly to fill the gap in the townie roster when he married in.

Panoptica’s got all the skill points she needs to win that final promotion, so I just have her building some other skills to fill her aspiration meter. Like Body skill!

(Note: They can’t do Yoga until they have 3 points in the skill, which means they have to level it by doing radio exercises. These are annoying because they drain Hygiene and Energy, and build the skill more slowly than pretty much any other method. im not gogna have fun)

Meanwhile, Forseti, as our first absurdly-neat descendant, gets to experience the joy of building Cleaning skill really quickly from actual cleaning, as opposed to reading books:

You can’t see it in this picture, but he’s smiling. His Fun need actually increases a little while he’s scraping crap off a toilet seat. Jeez, Forseti.

Oh, minor thing for any 90s kids and/or incidental Homestucks that might be reading this -- the household’s crappy stereo was on while Panoptica was working out, and I had it set to the ‘Techno’ station ‘cos the classic default Salsa mix was getting on my nerves, and then I hear, of all things, a no-vocals version of Chromeo’s ‘Fancy Footwork’ come on.

(I mentioned Homestuck; it was the song used in this fandom meme that I didn’t discover until after the comic had ended [*slight sniff*]. Gods, it’s catchy.)

Upon discovering said song’s presence in the game, I promptly moved the table with the stereo on it up a floor so I could hear it better. Here’s Panoptica doing her jog-on-the-spot routine.

And getting buff, apparently.

Looking good, looking good

Oh, I seem to recall saying back when Kent died that ghosts usually take a night to register that their remains have been moved elsewhere, so Shelmerdine’s debut as a ghost was unlikely to take place on the roof. 

Unfortunately, unlike Kent, she did clamber down the ladder from the attic to the floor with all the beds on it, making it really impractical to send anybody up there for some shuteye tonight. If I send them to bed, they’re guaranteed to cancel out of the action at some point, and let the ghost do its Scare action, which drops each of the victim’s needs a bit.

I realised at this point that I actually have more Sims than I do beds, so I worked out a solution to this one-night problem: buy a bed for the basement.

John starts work earlier than Panoptica, so he had priority here. Otherwise, they took it in turns to kip underground until dawn broke and Shelmerdine buggered back off to the Styx, at which point everybody who didn’t have a job collapsed into their own beds.

Well, today’s the day that Panoptica, with any luck, will get promoted up the final rung of the Intelligence ladder! There’s a chance it might take two shifts, even with an almost-full mood. Here she leaves the house in... I don’t know what kind of coat, while Forseti falls victim to my ever more ambitious experiments with the in-game camera:

(I honestly need to brush up on my vocab for types of clothing, I think. When I do write creatively, it’s quite often urban fantasy-type stuff, and it’ll help me to form a clearer picture of how characters look...)

This here below would be a great picture, if only the yellow sports car didn’t have a wonky interior that didn’t show up when you moved the camera inside

Like seriously Panoptica has a great photo face, it’s a shame

The snow actually thawed for a little while (since it’s always Winter, this only happens when it doesn’t snow for a couple of days in a row) leaving behind some puddles... which of course I sent Forseti to mop up so he could get more experience.

Night falls, and both goasts come out to play, in this rooftop graveyard of empty fridges. (I can’t sell them right now, due to restrictions - I just buy a new one and dump the old one up here.)

And does Panoptica get her final promotion? She does!

Time for some lowkey family celebrations! Here’s Aaron coming outside to give her an after-work hug:

And here’s Juan, being all romantic, though I swear he looks more like he’s just grinning rather than puckering up...

Now I can do lots of new things! Including:

> Let people come inside the house, even if they aren’t already a family friend

> Redeem Popularity aspiration perks (letting John build friendships faster)

> Use the Ask pie menu to scout out townies with good skills/jobs, and

> Chat on/answer the phone! 

This makes things much easier. Also, Panoptica’s got a snazzy uniform.

Heh, now both second-generation kids have dark green uniforms.

So, Panoptica has succeeded in living up to the name I gave her! A pleasant development. It’d have been a shame if I’d given her that name only to see her fired by a chance card or something. (I’d probably have thought about Law Enforcement for her, but that’d have required her to max Body, which would be annoooooying, at least until Juan lifts Architecture.)

So, another successful update, another restriction lifted, another gravestone for the roof... hm. I’ve covered a lot of ground here; I think two more updates maximum before I catch up to where I’m currently at with the run.

Stay tuned, and thanks for reading! 

(If you’ve read through this and/or any of my other updates, please let me know if there’s a particular style in one that’s more enjoyable to read than the others. It’s fluctuated a little as I figure out how best to do it. Thanking you in advance!)

[dkyler24]

Title: KIN

Chapter 1 /Part 1:

DANIEL,

Its been 18 years and everything that’s happened sort of feels like a bad dream, or complete delirium-guess it depends on how high I am on any given day. It’s crazy how it all started with a virus, the worst kind. Starts with a fever, cold sweats, loss of control of basic bodily functions; it spreads and spreads throughout the body( some slow, others fast), causes random bursts of uncontrollable aggression. At its peak, you eventually lose all the humanity and sanity you ever had, becoming an animal dead set on attacking anything that moves. We call people who’ve reached this peak Croats-after the virus, Croatoan-but you knew that.

I guess you could say my own sanity ended as well. Thankfully not in the way your probably thinking. No, what I’m suffering with just happens to be a bad strain of flu. Which currently seems to be killing me, slowly. Though, no matter how careless I got or what I risked for a simple bag of weed-I always came back 100% me. Or what’s left of me. It’s amazing, really, just how much humanity has changed me in just the span of several years. And all those gut wrenching feelings that came with it. Hopelessness, powerlessness, love, anger, fear. It was all garbage though, how humans cope with it all, I’ll never understand.

I’m not sure when drugs became more important than the mission, only that there was a time I wasn’t in a mindless haze 90% of the time-though I’m betting my ass it had something to do with the sleeping pills Dean had chucked at me my first night fully human- which, I assure you was only out of the purest intentions of helping me sleep through the night. Dean had his own issues, and sometimes I genuinely wondered why I was still here. He’d gone cold, everything I loved about him stripped away with time and loss. He was forever changed by the death of his brother.

I had to watch him turn into his father-maybe even worse. The perfect leader, a soldier, yet that love and warmth I’d fallen so deeply in love with so long ago, just gone. But still, whether I gave a shit or not, something still told me to stay. To be there.. just in case. After all, poor excuse for a man or not, I DID promise. I made a promise never to leave his side. Which will either end with me choking on pills or being gutted by a Croat whichever came first.

It was typical at this point in time to be so disoriented, that day looked like night and night looked like day. It was and still is the only way to get through the day without killing myself. As far as I knew, I couldn’t get by without a hit of something or an orgasm. I honestly didn’t think of the possibility of a child being born. I never really cared what happened to the women that came in and out of my hut. It didn’t seem worth it to get all sappy over any of them, it was an exchange of pleasure not love. The only love I’d ever know had been Dean, and the poor man didn’t even love me back, so what was the point in love? Especially when everyone we did care about were dropping like flies or raging monsters.

At first, I hated you, Because for the first time, I was forced to actually care about something other than drugs and self-sacrifice. You had been conceived through a typical night of depression and lust. The orgy must have consisted of 7 or so women( maybe, don’t quote me on that). I thank God every day, now( wherever he ran off to), that you were the only one. I’d have probably given myself up to the Croats if I had had 7 children running around this camp. Your mother, who’s name I either can’t remember or never bothered to, left you as an infant, screaming and kicking outside my hut. Later, I learned she’d been killed by a Croat during a raid( oddly convenient, huh?).

After Dean died two years later( curtesy of Lucifer) people began to pity me, ridicule me, or both. Whereas before, they accepted I’d always be a “ dirty hippie”, now they wanted me to replace Dean as head of the camp. It’s funny how desperate people get, turning to an orgy loving, dead beat druggie for assistance. Frankly, I didn’t care. Told everyone to right fuck off. To make matters worse, I still had a two year old little boy I wanted nothing to do with. The camp took pity on on you, of course. Basically did what I’d hoped and for the most part, tried to keep you away from me- which was all fine and good; but for some reason, you never seemed to care. Ignoring every warning, running back to me every damn time. Wanting to be around me. Talk to me. sleep with me. Maybe it was because we were kin, I don’t really know. Even during the nights I laid in bed, sick from whatever I’d taken too much of, you were there by my side. Willing to listen to my nonsensical babbling, cool my burning skin, and hand me water when I needed it. To say I didn’t deserve any of it was a huge understatement.

As the years went by, the camp got smaller and smaller, raid by raid, until only 8 of us remained. Unfortunately all of them were men. They all laughed at the idea of me not having women to objectify-but slowly began to turn in my favor once they realized I held the key to muting every terrible emotion this pandemic had caused. Soon, I was the main source for drug supply, they all bartered for nights of carelessness and sex. Gave me whatever I wanted as long as I took their suffering away. In a way, it made me feel like an angel again. Like I had a purpose in this crazy life. Never mind the depravity- it’s not like there were any angels left on earth to drag me down to hell for it. I was given a nickname- Smokey the Angel. Primarily to make fun of me, but when it stuck, I ended up adopting it for real. Wouldn’t Dean be proud of THAT legacy.

Eventually, the Croats seemed to evolve- like a deranged breed of human. They attacked in organized packs. They seemed to have regained the ability to talk and conform to a set of pre-determined standards. Instead of fighting like savages, most of them had taken up guns and other weapons. Favoring ambushes and raids of their own. Two men died after learning this the hard way. The remaining 6 men spent the next 16 years tracking and mapping out the Croats several camps and the evolvement of their intelligence, Which was not a slow process.

If I could secretly admit to being proud of anything, I guess it would be Your unwavering hunger for knowledge and your massive amounts of blind courage. It reminded me of a better time, when I was still useful, when giving a damn didn’t hurt so much. But more than anything, those bright green eyes, and that determined, focused drive that reminds me of Dean. Maybe that’s part of the reason I resisted you in the beginning. There were times, in my drunken, high drugged out mist, that I thought maybe Dean HAD been brought back. It wasn’t Impossible to believe my son could be the reincarnation of Dean. In fact, I’m believing it more and more the older you get. Not to mention, somehow your the spitting image of him.

Your probably wondering why I bother writing this, it’s not like you don’t already know half of this. I guess I just wanted you to know, that even though you were born out of despair, I don’t hate you. I never even bothered to be a father, if I had a do over, believe me, I’d try harder. You never deserved any of this at all. This life, full of fear and a man who can’t even see past his own self-loathing and grief to give you the childhood you needed. Even when I abused you, you never let go of your unconditional love for me. Deep down I knew I’d die in a heap of sweat with nothing good to show for the life I’ve lead-well, except you. My Daniel. Innocent, uncorrupted Daniel. You are my one good thing. I’ve asked too much of you over the years, I know, but if I could ask for one last thing, it would be to stay true to that.

I’ve arranged to send you somewhere you won’t ever have to suffer due to my neglect. A place without Croats, a fresh new world where you can start a new life away from all this. I never bothered to show you any kind of love, and that was my greatest mistake. So let this be a testament to how much I really do love you. Let this make up for all the times I abandoned you in your time of need.

Go through the rift, don’t ask stupid questions like how I did it and why I’m doing this. I won’t let you live the rest of your life in a miserable wasteland- and please don’t stick around to watch me die, you’ve been through enough.

I love you,

Your Father

..........................................

Daniel gaped at the letter, why the hell was he sitting here reading this instead of running to his side? “ what is this, a suicide note?” Eli gave him a look. “He didn’t give himself the flu.” Daniel glared at him. “That’s not funny. Now please for the love of God let me through, let me see my dad.” Eli shook his head, “normally, I wouldn’t give a rats ass what the man wants, but this was his dying wish. He told me not to let you see him until you read that letter. Personally, I think he’s raving mad, nearly dropped dead trying a second ago,” He shook his head in disbelief. “ still got so much energy..” Daniel tried to push past him, but the old man was surprisingly strong considering his bony frame. He stopped him, holding him back. “ why are you doing this! He’s gonna die while we’re out here bickering like little kids. I’m sorry if I’d like to hold my own fathers hand as he pass—“

“ Hey!” They heard a shout from inside. It was hoarse and ended in a fit of coughing. Daniel took that moment to shrug out of Eli’s grip and ran inside. There was a pitcher of water on a side table. He grabbed it and poured some into a plastic cup. Cas took it. “ Eli, I told you to have him read the l—“ Daniel huffed. “ Dad, will you forget about the damn letter for one minute and drink this, please?” Cas looked like he wanted to retort, but figured everyone would feel better after he’d downed the water.

“ why should I read some letter when you could just tell me yourself. I don’t want to spend your last moments waiting outside for you to die.” Cas grabbed his hand, “ In case you haven’t realized, I don’t have time for the I love you I’m sending you away speech; I’M DYING.” Daniels mouth fell open, “ sending me aw—Why? What the hell have I done?” Cas groaned. “ This would have gone so much easier if you’d just read the letter!” But Daniel set the letter aside. Squeezing his hand tighter. “ Screw. The. Letter. Look me in the eye and tell me everything, please.”

Daniel had always been stubborn, Cas should have known he wasn’t going to sit around and read a stupid letter. By some miracle, this man loved him- even though he never gave him a reason to. So, he gave up. He took a deep breathe, and proceeded to tell him everything. He’d managed to cut a deal with Gabriel, who thankfully was still alive, to open a rift to a timeline way into the future-one he knew Daniel would be safe in.

“ No, I’m not leaving you.” Daniel growled. Cas reached up to caress his face. “You always gave me a love I never deserved. Let me do this one thing for you please.”

“ well I don’t want it, any of this!” He seethed, tears creeping down his cheeks. “ why can’t you accept the fact that even though your a piece of shit, people still love you.”

“ I’ve had sex with everyone in this camp, repeatedly, trust me, at most they tolerated me. YOU always have, and whether you want it or not, I need to give it back, by taking you away from this empty, suffering place.”

Daniel closed his eyes. “ No. This is the worst thing you could possibly do.. but, your right about one thing, I will never stop loving you. DESPITE, how many times you’ve let me down.” He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. Eli, probably. He refused to open his eyes as Cas dragged him down into a tight hug. He ignored the rug burn as he landed on his knees. “Goodbye Daniel” Cas whispered.

And that was that. The arms that had pulled him in with boa constrictor-like strength, when limp. One last exhale, his eyes fluttered closed. He laid unmoving, blood drying at the corners of his mouth and in certain areas on his shirt.

Just then, Daniel heard a loud crackling behind him. He spun around, grabbing Cas Hand reflexively, only briefly forgetting he was dead. A man stood there. Dusty brown hair and a stupid smile on his face. “ you must be Daniel.” Daniel didn’t respond. Given he’d just watched his father die from the flu, he desperately wanted to punch this guy in the mouth. Eli gave him a warning look and shook his head. He’d known Daniel long enough to see it coming. In fact, when the camp was bigger, Eli had been one of the only ones willing to take him under his wing. Care for him durning his childhood years when Cas wouldn’t. When he was 16, despite Cas’ protests Eli, Dean and Bobby started training him and eventually took him out to help on raids.

Daniel took a cautious step forward and turned to glance at Eli. “ Even I agreed this was for the best kid. There isn’t much of a world left to defend here. The rest of us are sittin’ chew toys. GO. It’s ok.” Daniel took a step back, then walked over to Eli. Gabriel’s smile faded into impatientness. “ Come on kid, I’m not as strong as I used to be I don’t have all day.” Daniel turned a scorching glare on Gabriel and he raised his hands in defense. Daniel attacked Eli, yanking him into an embrace. “ Thanks for everything Eli. Hold down the fort?” Eli had tears running down his face. “ you bet I will.” He thought about just shooting the bastard and running, but deep down, he knew his father and Eli were right. There was truly nothing left of this world.

Gabriel took Daniel by the hand. He felt a small shock sail through his body as he jump through the waiting rift. Which was flickering and glitching like an actual lightning bolt. In an instant, they were both on the other side. Daniel unclenched his hand, finding that Gabriel was nowhere to be found. He stood facing a building, which looked to be at least a couple stories high. Nothing else surrounded it. No houses, just a dirt path leading who knows where. ‘ Great’ he thought. Wherever his dad had sent him, seemed to be right smack dab in the middle of nowhere. He sighed, frustrated as he trudged up to what he hoped was the front doors and knocked.

He waited, his heart hammering hard in his chest. It seemed to take forever before he finally heard heavy footsteps on the other end. On impulse, Daniel drew his gun and an angel blade from his belt. Ready for anything. The door swung open harshly.

..............................................................

What Daniel hadn’t been expecting was to see none other than Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester... and his dad. All pointing guns and blades at him. Dean’s hard look sent shivers down his spine. To Dean’s left, stood his Dad. Right off the bat he noticed a big difference. For one thing, he was healthy. Not the sweaty, hacking man who’d just died in his arms. He also looked older, way older. Although his dad had been human for years, he hadn’t aged as fast as most men in the Camp. Some didn’t even believe he WAS aging. It seemed this version of his dad had aged quite a bit. Crows feet at the corners Of his eyes, forehead lines, gray hairs and all. He wore a white shirt with a thin black plaid pattern, the buttons undone a little to show a plain white undershirt, simple blue jeans and a black belt. He wore thick white socks and no shoes. Sam and Dean hadn’t changed much, except for the obvious signs of age.

He re-holstered his gun and blade against his better judgement. There was a possibility he could be killed, but he’d probably be killed faster if he kept a gun pointed at them. He really didn’t know much about this new world he’d been sent to. It was clear it was earth. Possibly an alternate timeline?

[thecorteztwins]

“X-MEN MUTANT EMPIRE, BOOK THREE:(SALVATION)” PROLOGUE + CHAPTER ONE

@malakhvent @hexiva @muffiewrites @magnetician @superiorvengeance @actually-i-prefer-magneto @taintedhero @magnet-dad Hey there folks! For those new to being tagged in my Mutant Empire reading liveblogs, the “X-Men: Mutant Empire” books are a trilogy written by Christopher Golden in the 1990s. They are novels, not comic books, and the X-novels occupy a very shakey/debated place in canon. That said, they're excellent characterization sources (in my opinion), especially for characters that didn't get much in canon, such as Carmella Unuscione or the Kleinstock brothers. The reason I'm tagging you all, however, is because of the Magneto characterization. He is the main villain of this series, having used a reprogrammed Sentinels to take over Manhattan, along with the help of his Acolytes. He has rechristened Manhattan as “Haven” and invites all mutants to live there, while allowing humans to remain if they agree to live by his new rules under which they are second-class citizens. The X-Men are, of course, trying to intervene, both to stop Magneto himself but also to prevent the US military from deploying their own solutions. Magneto's characterized in these novels more similarly to how he's written today than how he was written in most of the 1990s. For a lot of the 90s, Magneto was, to put it simply, terrible. Like the worst he's been since the Silver Age. As in, literally killed THOUSANDS of innocent civilians. He's not movie fandom Magneto, who only ever hurts very bad people who definitely deserved it, and who usually has no other choice. The Magneto of the 90s is dark as fuck, much like everything else in comics was at the time. However, the Magneto of these books is far more complex, noble, and (by comparison) moderate...while also still not straying from the flaws that make him a villain. It's a little-known, under-rated series, and probably only of interest to Acolytes-loving nerds like me, but I think it's valuable for fans of Magneto who seek to balance his good and bad traits into the most accurate picture possible, so I think it will be of interest to you all even if most of you are writing a movie-based Magneto. So, that's why I tagged you all, I thought you'd find it interesting and enjoyable! This is the THIRD book, so if I haven't tagged you before and you want to catch up, the tag on this blog for it is “mutant empire”! Also, everything in here is opinion, you don’t need to agree with the characterization of Magneto in these books or my analysis thereof, it’s just my own thoughts as I was reading. With that preface out of the way, let's began!

PROLOGUE We begin with Manhattan, which is now called Haven. As a mun who writes the Marvel character called Haven, this keeps making me double-take when people say things like “let's go to Haven” or “you're of no use to Haven”. As a note, I don't think Magneto ever knew about the person Haven (though she is shown to know about him) since he was dead during her period of conflict with X-Factor. Anyway, as for THIS Haven, the subway is down and there's very little traffic, but lots of restaurants and small business are open because they have a fuck ton of new patrons coming in. Mutants are pouring in from across the country, across the world. On the good side, a lot of them doubtlessly need a sanctuary like this. On the bad side, Magneto sees their gathering here as a way to enlarge his Mutant Empire. This is typical of Magneto, if often forgotten by fandom: He wants to save mutantkind as a whole, but the individuals are still means to that end. He did the same thing on Genosha---using the population to form an army---and who can forget his “pawns go first” line in X3? Oh, wait, a lot of people, no one likes X3. 

  But anyway, this is on the first page and I already like the balance going between the aspects of Magneto as savior and villain. Also, I don't think this connection was intended by the text, but I can't help but see an analogue to Xavier here; he offered a home to mutants in need, then trussed up those same vulnerable teenagers as a private paramilitary group. Both these men have good intentions, but they will take advantage of the very people they're trying to save in order to reach that larger goal.

Also: “In less than a day, he had transformed one of the most important cities on Earth so that it conformed to his vision: a planet where mutants were the masters and humans were the servants. It was the only way for mutants to survive human prejudice.” A lot of people will note that Magneto doesn't want to kill all humans, and that's generally true, but the fact is he does frequently still want mutants to be the dominant species. In his early 2D Silver Age days, this was due to just straight-up thinking mutants superior, but in current times (again, this book was really ahead of its time in terms of Magneto) it's more like what he says here, it's to keep mutants safe. Because humans can't hurt them if THEY'RE the ones who are the underdogs instead. As a note, this is the mentality that I write Anne Marie Cortez as having. She looks at history, looks at the horrible things humans have done to each other, at the horrible things done to mutants now, and is like, humankind obviously cannot be trusted to be in charge. She believes that a mutant-dominated society will be better for mutants AND humans. And she doesn't think mutants will be as bad as humans either, because she believes God created mutants not just to be the physical improvement upon the flawed humanity, but a spiritual one as well. She believes that while some mutants are doing “bad things” now due to this imperfect world, they WILL be better than humans are, they CAN be better, once everything is put right (that is, mutants put on top with Magneto leading them) She, uh, she has religious delusions (with Magneto as the modern Christ in this paradigm, obviously >.< Anne Marie no!)

“From the observation platform at the top of the Empire State Building, Magneto looked down upon his Mutant Empire and his heart swelled with triumph, happiness, and pride. The sun forced his slate-grey eyes into a squint, the wind whipped his silver-white hair across his forehead, and Magneto smiled. It was a beginning.” AWWW I ALMOST WANT THE SERIES TO END HERE! Instead, we go to Wolverine and the Beast, whose exchange is irrelevant to the topic of this post (Magneto) and then to Amelia Voght of the Acolytes. Amelia Voght was a past lover of Charles Xavier, but split up with him when he formed the X-Men. She wanted to live a quiet life, and felt that Xavier's means would attract human attention to mutants. Years later, when she had, despite her attempts at a quiet life on her own, lost everything (including her family) to humans, she joined Fabian Cortez among his second-gen Acolytes recruits. Though Fabian is currently dead at the time of this novel, Amelia, like the other Acolytes, now follows Magneto in his stead (and much more happily) Unlike most of the Acolytes, Amelia receives far more complex characterization, and she's not the bloodthirsty sadistic bigot-for-fun that most of them are. She's actually a lot more like Magneto, which might explain why she follows him, despite having her doubts that his way is any more hopeful than that of Xavier. Anyway, now that you know who she is, here's what's going on. She's pretty pleased too, like Magneto. She's also surprised, not that he succeeded but that humans are still in the city. For those who weren't with me for the first two books, Magneto did NOT kick humans out. He said they could leave if they wanted, and stay so long as they accepted his new rules. A lot did leave, but some did stay (I imagine a lot COULDN'T leave, it takes money to be able to move and set up somewhere else ASAP, so there is definitely a class privilege thing going here, which overlaps with race and sexuality/gender. I don't think Magneto intended that, but the reality is that it's the people who are already the most oppressed that don't actually have a choice in whether they go or stay) Amelia is surprised by this, she thought that the island of Manhattan would be devoid of humans once Magneto took over, but reflects that, as I already noted earlier, “But Magneto's intention had always been for mutants to rule humanity, not destroy it. Voght had privately doubted it was possible. On this day, she changed her mind.” Anyway, Voght thinks about how the US government is still on the fence about what they're going to do, but Voght figures that save for a nuclear strike, Magneto and the Acolytes have it “all wrapped up”.

Amelia enters the reception area. There is one woman (the deputy mayor; the mayor himself “abandoned his city without a thought) and three men, one of whom is the police commissioner. Deputy Mayor Perkins is direct and no-nonsense. Amelia takes them all to meet with Mags, but before she does, warns the police commissioner that “As of this day, Magneto is the only law this island knows. He is not in favor of the death penalty, but that does not mean he does not see its uses.” Kinda like on Genosha, when he killed Fabian Cortez and all the good guys are like OMG YOU MURDERED HIM (come on guys, are you really THAT upset?) and Magneto was like “look, I run Genosha, consider this capital punishment, they have that in the USA you know” Magneto is of course “resplendent in his regal purple-and-crimson uniform. Without his helmet he wore during battle, his silver-white hair fell around his shoulders.” Ooooh, we got a long-hair Mags! He doesn't usually have long hair in 616, that's typically an AoA thing. Also RESPLENDENT I love it. Perkins gets right to it with “Why are we here?” and Magneto appreciates that she has little patience for small talk, but invites them to sit all the same, though he remains standing. He says they're here because they're the highest-ranking officials still remaining in the city and “You all need to know how I wish this city to be run, now that I am its sole authority.” So, a moment ago Amelia was surprised at how “amiable” Magneto is being to these people, how “benevolent” he looks, and I think I can say why---because he's won. He's the one giving orders. He can be nice because he's the top dog now. Admittedly, he was never nice to his underlings while running the Brotherhood, and not exactly friendly to the Acolytes either, but that's when, even though he had control of small group of people, he was still fighting against the larger world. Now that he has what he wants, he's willing to be nicer to those below him. Which isn't a compliment, btw; people who are only decent to others when everything is going their way are NOT good people. I think there's also the aspect of responsibility bringing out the best in him too. As cruel as he was to his followers, he was wonderful to the New Mutants when he was their teacher. Partly I think that's because they were children, but also because they were HIS children, tasked to HIM by Xavier. They were his responsibility in a way that the Brotherhood and Acolytes are not. His job wasn't to lead them, but to take care of them. Likewise, he's going to be taking care of this city, even if he'll also be taking some of its members for his own personal army. So I can see him being more benevolent here, even if only in the sense of a benevolent dictator (which he's very clear is the case, he says so himself he's the “sole authority” from now on) I guess I'm reading a lot into it, it's only two seconds of him being friendly and polite, but once my brain started going on it I couldn't stop. 

  Anyway, he restates that Haven/Manhattan is now “a class system, with all mutants as the nobility, or ruling class” and basically dictates Perkins as in charge of managing the remaining human population “answerable, of course, to me” and that she can appoint the others to any positions she sees fit to help her. He wants no more drugs, no more violent crime, no more corruption, that he wants all of the problems Manhattan had before his rule to be cleaned up. Perkins argues that corruption is inevitable in any system (I would say ESPECIALLY in this system, if the Acolytes are apparently gonna be “nobility”) Magneto counters that the corrupt are cowardly, thus they have already fled Haven, so logic dictates that there's no more corruption and he won't tolerate any. ...Magneto, your logic is not our Earth logic. Alas, this is pretty typical Magneto, he doesn't always, erm, make sense. Th police commissioner, Ramos, says he's not going to be Magneto's lapdog, that he's only going to enforce ACTUAL laws and that the police are NOT going to become Magneto's personal army. Mags smiles, tells him that he already has a private army, that he doesn't need the police “and I most certainly don't need you.” He then raises one hand in a gesture of “amusement and dismissal” and says, “Amelia, would you mind?” Amelia, for those who forgot or are just joining us, is a teleporter. She sends Ramos outside the building. She then thinks about how she could have teleported him high in the air outside and let him fall to his death, how she is “not a hardened killer, but she knew the value of an example. Still, Magneto would have been specific if he'd wanted the man dead. Her lord rarely sanctioned homicide. Much to the other Acolytes disappointment. A few things: 1) For those wondering about the “her lord” bit, that's not unique to her, all the Acolytes consider him to be their Lord. The big difference between the Acolytes and the Brotherhood is that the Acolytes revere Magneto in a RELIGIOUS sense (which I've built on especially with Anne Marie, while giving Chrome and Delgado different motives, I wanted some diversity of motivation in my crew) They even have a Book of Magnus (which I am pretty sure Fabian wrote, not Magneto) I shit you not 2) “Much to the other Acolytes disappointment” As I've said again and again, the Acolytes members that came after the first team are largely terrible people who just wanna kill all the “flatscans” they can. I wonder if they miss the days when Fabian let them go after hospices and school buses? Yes, really. Fabian did not keep a leash on those guys, he ENCOURAGED them to be bloodthirsty anti-human fucks. You could interpret that as anti-human bigotry on his part, I interpret it on using their rage and sadism to keep them happy and make them easier for him to control 3) Amelia, the hell do you mean you're not a hardened killer? You “made an example” EXACTLY like that in the previous books! Granted, said example was done because humans were threatening/attacking her, so it wasn't in cold blood like it would be here, but still, this is something she has JUST RECENTLY DONE 

  Magneto continues to those remaining that the Acolytes will enforce the law on the mutant population, the human police on the human. He wants Haven to be an example to the rest of the world---no drugs, full employment, a fair wage, no crime, no homelessness, no hunger. Oh Magneto, you're making Anne Marie's dreams come true. Or trying, anyway, but what's that quote about the road to hell? This is interesting though, because we're getting a glimpse of something we didn't with Genosha (at least in what I've read)---how Magneto would run things (or at least, his ideals/goals) when he's in charge. Oh, and the reason he wants Haven to be an example? “So society knows what to expect when we begin our expansion.” So, here's my question to that...Magneto is happy to let humans leave if they don't like his rules...but if he plans to expand...what happens if (as is probably his goal) he takes over the world? Where do they go then?

Magneto's last word to this lot are that “Bigotry will not be tolerated. Bigots are to be deal with most---harshly.” Amelia, like most people in the comics, knows Magneto's personal history as a Holocaust survivor (it's been presented on trial before) so she knows where this is coming from. But she wonders what would happen if she pointed out how a lot of the Acolytes are “rabid bigots” themselves, and she doubts he'll have them dealt with as harshly “but a woman could dream” (Amelia doesn't like Carmella or the Kleinstock brothers, the specific bigots she was thinking of) Now, I realize the kneejerk response here is to point out that hating the people who oppress you is not the same as bigotry, but trust me guys, she's RIGHT in this case. She is really, really right, like I cannot stress to you what a bunch of genocidal eugenicist assholes these people are. As in, they wanted to kill CHILDREN for being human. Carmella even wanted to kill a MUTANT child because he had Down Syndrome! Unlike real-life minorities, mutants not only have the power to be “reverse bigots” they actually even have a leg to stand on to “justify it” it in terms of “genetic superiority” and believe me, THE SECOND-GEN ACOLYTES USE THAT LEG. A LOT. ...also frankly, I don't think much of Amelia for being one of the “good Acolytes” because that means she's still fucking hanging out with these assholes even though she KNOWS better. You don't get points with me for being more moral than your teammates if that “morality” only amounts to “not joining in the worse stuff they do” rather than any actual opposition and/or leaving the team. And the same to Magneto for employing them, even if he tries to keep a tighter leash than Fabian did. So, the prologue ends there. The first chapter follows, and it doesn't feature Magneto at all, but it has some bits that are very, very relevant to current issues (sadly) so I thought I'd include it too since said bits are brief. CHAPTER ONE The X-Men are meeting with government liaisons Val Cooper (pro-mutant, ally, knows Xavier is their leader) and Henry Gyrich (anti-mutant, doesn't know Xavier secretly leads the X-Men but is the first villain I've seen with the sense to suspect it) discussing what to do about the Haven situation. We are told, as in last chapter, that mutants are pouring into Manhattan/Haven. We learn that the army is trying to keep them out, and that any mutants who enter are considered terrorists. So, we've got an oppressed population, many of which are likely refugees with no place better to go, coming to a place that has opened its doors to them...but the government has decided they're terrorists and is trying to keep them out. That sounds a little familiar. I understand the logic, that any mutant in Haven could potentially join Magneto's army, but “potentially” and “actually” are different things. After all, any refugee could “potentially” be a terrorist too, right?   Anyway, blah blah blah, Gyrich is a bad guy, then he tells Gambit “You're in America, speak English” and COME ON I doubt I need to spell out the significance of that. And given that it's coming from Gyrich, there's no way it's not MEANT to be significant.

This was written in 1997, you guys.

Okay, so chapter ends, basically the X-Men have seven hours to go into Manhattan and fix this or else Gyrich is going to have the island nuked and the press will claim that it wasn't the President that did it but the result of Magneto's own terrorist plot backfiring on him with catastrophic results. Because Gyrich is a bastard despite having gotten some neat character insight in the previous books . The X-Men are fucking horrified and Rogue even says “Maybe Magneto has the right idea” but since it's now six hours and forty nine minutes everyone decides they'd better bet going instead of chewing him out, and the chapter ends there. I've got to hand it to Golden, he's doing a really good job with this. Not just with Magneto characterization, but this whole set-up in general. There's a lot wrong with what Magneto is doing, and yet the good aspects are such that it's hard not to just forget the bad and root for him, at least for me. Especially since the human government is, well, Gyrich. But also good folks like Val Cooper. And as linked, we get some depth even to Gyrich. In short, Golden is really, really good at making a multi-sided conflict with multi-sided characters and challenging the reader on who to root for. At least that's my opinion. Stay tuned, folks! ALSO ONE MORE THING! I have a big question---where is Exodus? We know he's here, the first book began with him and Magneto (and Magneto thinking about him as a big purple butterfly, which I loved) But he really hasn't been seen since then, and with no explanation given as to why. This is actually pretty common, Exodus just not being in the picture for whatever reason, because he's so stupid OP that when combined with Magneto, it's pretty much game over for anyone in their way. So writers are always having to find a way to either separate them or put on of them out of commission (it's usually a coma) But here, there's no REASON thus far given for Exy's absence, he's just...not there. Even though he was earlier.  So I'm thinking/hoping that maybe in this book we get a good in-universe reason for that, rather than him just poofing because Golden realized that he'd just fucking wipe everybody out in the first book if he was around.

[wildstormoralhistory]

Director’s Cut Material #7- In Living Color

The following Director's Cut material is a very special one that I hope you all enjoy. Colorist Joseph M. Damon was kind enough to share his unique WildStorm journey that really shows what it was like to try and become a part of the WS group and see a dream realized. If you've been to some comic conventions, you might have seen him around as he usually assists Humberto Ramos out on the road.
 Joseph and I connected after the manuscript was finalized so I was able to sneak in a couple of his quotes in the proper book but the more I tried to edit, the less I wanted to break up his story throughout the different chapters. So here it all is as one piece and my sincere thanks to Mr. Damon for sharing it.

Joseph M. Damon (Colorist): Outside of being the fanboy buying comic books at my local comic store in the Bay Area, I'd attend local comic shows, in particular Wonder Con (in Oakland at that time), SDCC and there was an Image convention in LA. This was circa 1993-1994. At the shows, WildStorm Fine Arts was a booth selling ashcans, color guides from Joe Chiodo, Iris prints, and original artwork. At that time [it] was run by Joe Mendoza (Whilce Portacio's brother in-law and  [the] character Dozer was based on him in Wetworks), who was working as editor at Homage studios as well. I asked a ton of questions about color guides and the process behind them, what an iris print was (I purchased one of Travis' Burnout), drooled buckets over the original artwork from the books that were for sale as well (which of course led later to me buying original art). Joe gave me a smile and his card, which I still have, and I asked him about some of the artists. He gave me a second extension which was for the "The Pit" where at that time a lot of the new artists like J. Scott Campbell and Travis Charest sat. I stared at the card and within a week called in just to see what would happen.  I got reception, asked for Joe and he's out of the office, asked to be transferred to the extension for the Pit. Not thinking I'd get anywhere, it rang and rang and then I heard a voice say "Pit", I asked to talk to Jeff Campbell, and they said hold on, and then I heard, "This is Jeff" and I just start telling him that I'm a big fan of Gen 13 and his work on The Art of Homage Studios book and hoped to meet him at a show and get his autograph and show him some of my work. Jeff said good luck and then before hanging up, I figure I'd gone this far, why not see where else I can take this... and asked for Travis Charest. Jeff said sure hold on and then passed the phone to Travis, we talked real briefly and hung up and I just sat in awe for a few minutes... and that was the moment where, sacking up and being assertive just made me feel ten feet tall talking to people whose names I saw in my favorite comics.          Now I just needed to put in the work and find a way to work there. Around the same time I met colorist Brian Haberlin, talked with him on process and tools/applications used by the studio. I found out the best way to practice working on color guides to be like Joe Chiodo was to make larger copies of ashcan pages and color them.  So I mimicked a lot of what I saw in Joe Chiodo's work with multiple light sources and shading, light direction. I had a good portion of guides from Gen 13 mini-series #1, WildC.A.T.S. #5 and thought I was ready, so I found out at that time Bill Kaplan was in charge of submissions. I met him at a show, told him my name and showed my samples and my work was critiqued and it was ripped apart. Bad approach, terrible color theory, bad lighting. I listened and then commented on referencing Joe Chiodo's work, and he just looked at me and said thanks for letting me see your work and keep trying. Shortly after I met Steve Oliff and some of his guys from IHOC (International House of Color which would soon form Olyoptics), showed my stuff and also looked at his stuff from Akira and early Image color guides. He was really supportive, told me what media to use if coloring by hand and looking to Photoshop as digital was where it was at.  I had an Amiga 500 and used color applications like digipaint, so Jumping to a Mac with Photoshop 3.0 was the next step.

          I actually tried out for WildStorm back in early '90s when the studio had a talent search.   Really didn’t have too much experience, but enough to get a call to show up and take the test.  Met early WildStorm FX members, took the test given by Alex Sinclair and noodled the hell out of it and didn’t even finish in the allotted time, so [I] didn’t get the job. Come years later, I became good friends with several WildStorm FX members, Ian Hannin, James Rochelle, Jeremy Cox, Laura Martin (Depuy then) and Ben Dimagmaliw and heard about Andy Hartnell’s coloring spot opening up since he was writing Danger Girl. Send in samples, get a call to come take the test, fly down from San Francisco to San Diego, take the test, don’t finish due to catching a flight back home but get the file saved to a zip disk. Come home finish the test, send the file back in the morning, and then get the call that if I want the position its mine. I was currently testing video games at SEGA of America. [I] gave notice and started at WildStorm after relocating to San Diego a month later.            Day 1 at WildStorm, [I] get seated in the open area in “The Pit” facing Jim Lee’s office and to my left was Travis Charest & Tom McWeeney’s office… no pressure…breath right. Absolutely not, since my friend Ben Dimagmaliw had the Wizard magazine black and white picture of Jim Lee from the Top Ten and pinned it to the board in front of my desk…so now I had Jim staring at me. I kept it there to motivate [me] even when Jim would walk by and I was totally in awe…which I finally lost the fanboy-ness after four months. I still talked to Jeff Campbell, Scott Williams, Travis Charest and Rich Friend when they weren’t working to at least break the ice. Alex Sinclair and Nick Bell took me under their wings and showed me the essentials but soon after I got a lot of real tools to use as a colorist from my fellow colorists. I'd go in early to talk/watch day shift (Joel Benjamin, Tony Washington,etc) and at night talk with Justin Ponsor, Matt Millia, Eric Guerrero, etc., learning which artists like cut & grad or who liked airbrush, which books needed lots of color holds and knock outs and which books had none. Slow at first but was ramped up and rendering within a month and by the time I left, rendering two [pages] per day. But still, [I] was slow by comparison to others who could do three pages per day.  

          I was a huge fan of WildStorm's books as I picked [up] all the titles as they came out- from Wetworks, StormWatch, Gen 13 to WildC.A.T.S. WildStorm had the formula to take my money every month they came out with new books. From the first day I started, learning to flat books was the greatest thing ever. But that was the immediate glamour of working for Jim Lee. The first time I got to render a Gen 13 or Divine Right page was pretty cool, but while cool, you had a lot to do in a little time, so you turned into a machine to meet deadlines. Certain key items that I got to work on that stood out were Gary Larson’s “There’s a Hair in My Dirt”, coloring and art directing a ton of trading cards with David Baron, art directing Gen 12 issues with Eric Garcia and coloring Joe Madureira’s Wildcats #1 Grifter Variant was a highlight as I was not only a huge Grifter fan, but a fan of Joe’s work.            WildStorm FX had a lot of artwork to get done each day. Comic Books, trading Cards, specialty items like posters, DVD inserts, Gamepro or PSM magazine covers, Flash animated teasers for upcoming new release launches like Travis Charest’s Wildcats volume 2, strategy guide walkthroughs, etc. We did a lot and it did change day to day. Sometimes you knew you were flatting four pages and rendering two pages. Sometimes you colored four trading cards.          I was hired on for the nightshift and worked four to midnight or later to meet deadlines. So my hours were interesting to say the least. At the end of my first year at the studio, my son, Niko was born, so challenges of a newborn, and being alone in San Diego got to be very tough for my then wife, so she went back to the bay area to be with family. Even with weekend trips back to see my family, shortly after my year mark, I made arrangements to return back to the bay area and return to my family and work in the video game industry. So I of course placed my two weeks notice and left the studio but continued to freelance for off and on for a bit and continued to freelance for Image comics.

          What made WildStorm amazing was the people. The whole family worked together to get work done each day. Every person in WildStorm had a key role and made that place great. So while you think you have Jim Lee in drawing WildC.A.T.S, Scott Williams inking a page, Alex Sinclair coloring another, you have the rest of the studio doing their daily tasks… and a studio filled with laughter, music, discussions of who the Chargers or Padres played the night before, what movie flopped, or what new appetizer was on the menu at Moon Doggies Grill…this was day in/day out WildStorm. What Jim had set up was incredible to work for and some of that disappeared when DC took over. The initial announcement to us was a full company outing, where we were all told of the sale of the company to DC and what was changing and what would stay the same. Initially for me, there was some heartbreak, simply for what the mission statement of Image Comics was and why the founding fathers did what they did. WildStorm was a huge part of why Image was so big in the '90s and now it was gone to an extent since Time Warner was now the boss, a conglomerate, where before it was one man, figuratively speaking.          DC seemed very cool to work for. All hourly employees got a raise based on cost of living at that time, which was good, as it got me closer to what I was making prior in the bay area. Another benefit was employees now received comp copies every week of every DC item that shipped, be it a TPB, Hardcover, comics and sometimes toys/statues. Which when you’re 25 and a comic collector, is great. But for me it was close to the end.

          The experience was, best said, as a once in a lifetime, when it came to being listed amongst the best of the best in Artists/Inkers/Writers/Colorists. Few are able to say that. Even with very tight deadlines, (Fedex daily by 5PM), and long hours to make sure that the next shift had all the work ready for them, working along side the best was just that, the best. Aside from taking the knowledge of tips and tricks that WildStorm taught you as part of WildStorm FX, the friendships that I still have with my co-workers. Some are that of a hey, or head nod, while others are huge hugs annually at various comic cons, or random chats and discussions on Facebook or on the phone.          The biggest take-away I can comment on is hard work/work ethics, and keeping your name fresh and in the public eye every month- in Previews, in at least one book, a variant cover, an interview, whatever. Those that stay relevant are those that continue to work every month delivering content. If you step out or take a break from the industry, it takes you five times the amount of work to get back to where you were, as there are pencillers, inkers, and digital colorists ready to take your spot, for cheaper rates. I still moonlight in the comic industry as  a Manager/Handler but that’s simply because I'm still a huge fan of comics and those that create them.

[themarydragon]

Zom did this and said I was tagged in it (I didn’t think she meant me but then she said NO YOU so that means me, right?)

Big long survey thingie under the cut.

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: water! 

2. PHONE CALL: the dealership, saying the new mirror for my MINI had arrived (thank you, extended warranty!)

3. TEXT MESSAGE: a picture of my doggos being adorable, sent by my spouse

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: “All We Ever Knew,” by The Head and the Heart

5. TIME YOU CRIED: Uhmmmmm the Friday before we went to London.

HAVE YOU:

-6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: Yup. Married him, too. Then divorced him, because I’m dumb, but I’m not THAT dumb

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: Actually? I regret no smooches.

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Hrngh. See #6

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: I am not writing this list. In a word: yes. In a sentence: I had a 13-month span where I lost three grandparents, an uncle, two friends, and a cat.

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: See #9

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: TWICE. My bachelorette, and my brother’s wedding. I regret neither. Amazing stories.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange! Green! Red!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: omfg so many friends. it is a glorious plenty.

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: thank god, no

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Gigglefits! Yes!

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: see also “my MIL”

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Does “Moana” count?

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: Nah, I knew.

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: I am friends with my fantastical spouse, so yes. Yes I have. All sortsa smooches.

GENERAL:

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: The vast majority. There are a couple friends-of-spouse or friends-of-friends or internet-only friends, but 90+ percent are IRL

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: I am the ringleader of a fur circus

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Been there. It sucked. Never again.

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: My hunny took me to a hockey game! It’s what we do every year, it’s my favorite tradition.

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 0630 to see the spouse off to work

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: surfing a shit typhoon via my friend’s overbearing psychopath mother deciding I am suspect for giving him my old truck. HOW DARE I.

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: Trips! Both trips I am taking and trips other people are taking to visit me!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: Sunday.

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: I would have taken B to visit my mom’s dad. He never met that grampa and it’s a god damn shame.

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING RIGHT NOW: The Proclaimers’ 500 Miles

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Uh, yeah?

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: See #27

34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: google!

35. MOLE/S: Yep! In all the same places my mom has them. We have the same birthmarks, too, it’s awesome in a creepy way

36. MARK/S: Yep! Scars and tattoos and birthmarks and moles and freckles 

37. CHILDHOOD DREAM: Not even kidding, I had a literal dream I lived in Boston.

38. HAIRCOLOR: Auburn-ish? It goes pretty red in the summer, darkens to a good brown in the winter. I’ve got like a dozen silvers right where I part it, so I’m starting to hope I’ll get a Polgara lock. FINGERS CROSSED.

39. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: I doesn’t get cut ‘til it interferes with toileting

40. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Ewan McGregor knows I exist

41. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:I have developed a reputation for going to bat for my friends, for being full blown ride-or-die, drop everything in the middle of the night to bail your ass out. That is the legacy I want.

42. PIERCINGS: Currently, two. Previously, six.

43. BLOODTYPE: A+ (I’ve donated over a gallon!)

44. NICKNAME: I am the mary dragon. 

45. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: so married

46. ZODIAC: Aquarius!

47. PRONOUNS: she/her 

48. FAVORITE TV SHOW: I have consumed almost no media in 5 years. I dunno.

49. TATTOOS: four, soon to be five

50. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right!

51. SURGERY: yep. 

52. HAIR DYED IN DIFFERENT COLOR: Never

53. SPORT: hockey hockey hockey

55. VACATION: We just got back from London. Leaving on Saturday to squish our godson. Talking about Tel Aviv and Japan.

56. PAIR OF TRAINERS: I call ‘em tennis shoes. :P

MORE GENERAL:

57. EATING: Its 0030 I’m not eating anything are you insane? I’m old, reflux is hell!

58. DRINKING: water water water

59. I’M ABOUT TO: post this chapter. jfc I need to stop fiddling with it and just throw it out into the internet 

61. WAITING FOR: I mean, all sorts of things. I’ve always got something in the works.

62. WANT: for nothing

63. GET MARRIED?: NEVER AGAIN JFC

64. CAREER: I am a nurse! Even if I’m not currently taking clients, it’s a part of my identity now. Looking at my MSN this spring.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. HUGS OR KISSES: Hugs.

66. LIPS OR EYES: Eyes.

67. SHORTER OR TALLER: HRNGH They both have their benefits.

68. OLDER OR YOUNGER: I like to see people get old. Stoked about this grey.

70. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: SHOULDERS. JFC GIVE ME SHOULDERS

71. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: moderation in all things

72. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: I am way too old for the hook up

73. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: DON’T GIVE ME AN IDEA YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE HAPPEN, PEOPLE. SHITSTARTER IN CHIEF, RIGHT HERE

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. KISSED A STRANGER: YUP

75. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: dear lord, yes. Beer is not my friend.

76. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: Yes. Had a contact fall out on a float trip, it was terrible

77. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Oh god yes

78. SEX IN THE FIRST DATE: I mean, define “date”

79. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Yes

80. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: SEE NUMBER 6

81. BEEN ARRESTED: I have never been caught.

82. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: god yes

83. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: (waves at Brian)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. YOURSELF: HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS

85. MIRACLES: (waves at Brian)

86. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: (waves harder at Brian)

87. SANTA CLAUS: The legendary character, no. The person who signed ‘Santa’ on presents when I was a kid? Yes. That person is a total badass and I have total faith in them

88. KISS IN THE FIRST DATE: (waves spastically at Brian)

89. ANGELS: I do not believe their existence is impossible.

OTHER:

90. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME: It starts with a J

91. EYE COLOR: Brian says they’re the color of root beer barrels. That sounds better than “brown” so lets use it

92. FAVORITE MOVIE: LadyHawke or The Princess Bride 

[a-non-sequitur]

Rogue One: Catalyst: Thoughts

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

Finally finished reading Rogue One: Catalyst by James Luceno, or as it's also known by:

Lyra Erso: Badass;

Lyra Erso: They Could Have Easily Created Parallels Between You and Chirrut+Baze in the Film Instead of Ignoring Your Existence;

Lyra/Galen OTP Fever: How to Write a Strong, Balanced Couple While Still Giving Them Relationship Hurdles;

"I'm Thirsty for You and Your D, Galen," Screams Krennic Into the Rain

with foreword by Galen Erso, "Who Is This? And What Does He Mean By My D?"

and annotated by Lyra Erso, *The dickbag is talking about the Death Star, honey.

Tarkin/Krennic: Hux/Kylo Ren Got Nothing On This Hate Couple

and finally: Jyn Erso Is A Normal Human Child: how this makes her future character arc 1000x more painful

NB: Have only seen the RO film and have now read this book. This is going to be long and about 90% quotes related to characterization.

General Impression:

Writing was okay. Not great, but not bad. (This is especially apparent since I've just started reading the RO novelization, and the difference in quality is pretty startling.) Nice quick read.

Lyra is fantastic.

Galen is pretty interesting.

Jyn is adorable and normal, and it breaks my heart.

Krennic is... wow, I just want to laugh because he's so absurd but also a Terrible Human Being.

Tarkin is fascinating (see waaaay below for details).

Lyra Erso

No one holds this bitch down.

"She had no recourse. She wasn’t built to hold things in; to be complacent or compliant."

"Some of Orson’s remarks had made her wonder whether she and Galen were under surveillance, or even whether her personal comlink might be bugged. But she didn’t care either way. Orson may have drawn the line in the sand, but she would be the one to step over it."

Lyra loves exercising and exploring. She wants to go everywhere in the galaxy!

"She needed wind and rain, cyclones, quakes, and the threat of avalanches. Unpredictability. Natural forces at work."

She sees the galaxy with very, very clear eyes.

“Who knows to what ends Dooku might have put this crystal.”// “I can guess,” Lyra said carefully, “since Dooku loosed a droid army on the galaxy.”

"This is the Emperor’s dream,” [said Galen.] // Lyra wrinkled her nose. “Can’t we just call him Palpatine—in private, I mean?

Lyra is probably mildly Force-sensitive.

She was against coming to Vallt, where she and Galen would later be imprisoned, from the start. 

"Her reverence for the Force had evolved from an enduring love of nature."

"... even if she wasn’t able to use the Force, she could at least feel it."

"But being pregnant with Jyn—especially while in captivity—had made her aware of the Force in a way she imagined the Jedi experienced: a profound connection with life that went beyond mere understanding."

"...she was secretly glad that [Galen] was no longer attempting to synthesize or create facsimiles of kyber crystals. One might as well try to clone the Force itself, or turn to magic in an effort to simulate the power."

"She would often sky-cab to the Jedi Temple grounds and exercise there, basking in the energy of that elegant site, surrounded by a nexus of the Force."

"The Jedi killed by the thousands, their Temple the scene of a battle, scant survivors scattered to the stars, the Force dispersed…She was as heartbroken as if she had lost a family member, and had cried for hours."

[Saw] pulled his datapad from his pant pocket and showed them the image of a green, black, and blue planet with a wide ring. “It’s called Lah’mu.” / Papa looked at the image and said, “It looks unspoiled.”

this is significant because Lyra talks a whole bunch about “untouched” nature and its strong connection to the Force throughout the book.

Galen Erso

has a very interesting brain

"he felt as if he already held the entire galaxy in his thoughts."

"He had a greater fear of attention than he did failure, refusing even to celebrate his birthday much less receive gifts or acclamation. With romance he was hopeless, pretending disinterest when in fact he was confused by his changing body and how it sometimes took him out of his mind, out of his deep thinking."

"...inability to find refuge even in his thoughts; to find what one of his mentors had called the still point in the turning world."

"He was suddenly lost without his research; torn between uncompromising tenderness for Lyra and Jyn and a sense of burden in being able to provide a flawless future for them."

"In his daily life he would sometimes go out of his way to introduce imperfection—in his drawings, his routines, his attempts at housecleaning—as a means of keeping himself from becoming overly occupied with results."

"It wasn’t that he didn’t wish to see the world as others did; he was unable to. He saw more deeply into things, and was attuned to nature’s own musings and inner dialogues."

"At times it seemed as if, in attempting to unlock the secrets of the kyber, he was trying to decode something about himself."

is very plain-spoken and direct.

"Most would have remembered him as the one who was always speaking out of turn."

"Galen merely shrugged. “Normalcy has taken leave of the galaxy.” / [A scientist named] Herbane’s jaw dropped a bit and he looked at Lyra. “Is your husband always so confrontational?” / “He speaks his mind,” Lyra said."

"But he was a terrible liar; he had no practice in the art. Never wanting to be involved in games, he had always spoken his mind. Where he was forever attempting to simplify his thinking, lying introduced complications."

“You could have at least made him work to get the current data,” [said Lyra, after escaping with Galen from Coruscant.] / “He’s welcome to whatever he finds. I could have sabotaged everything, but I don’t want to give the Empire a reason to hunt us down. We’re simply dropping out—although covertly. Besides, what I left will keep them occupied for a while.” / “Revenge was never your style.” / Galen considered it. “Orson may have worked me, but he didn’t force me.” 

Galen has such a rigid sense of principles that even though Krennic had blatantly lied to Galen and was weaponizing his research - the! very! last! thing! Galen! wanted! - Galen didn’t sabotage or delete anything because technically Krennic didn’t force him at blasterpoint.

And this, plus the quote about the inability to lie, makes me see RO!Galen in a whole different light? Because Galen ends up changing fundamental parts of his character because of the trauma Krennic puts him through (aka losing his family). And Jyn ends up irrevocably changed from who she was as a child because of Krennic. And it makes me wonder - what would have happened to Lyra if she had not died? How would she have been changed?

so basically the only reason Galen isn't known throughout the galaxy as a genius of the highest caliber is because he can't write scientific papers.

 when Krennic shows Galen the ruins of a facility on another planet, Galen (rightly) assumes that the scientific team there fucked up duplicating his kyber research, causing the experiment to explode.  Galen says, "I was very precise in my notes."  But when Krennic had interviewed the team a couple of chapters earlier, they said that the data and methods they'd be given "aren't specific enough in many instances" and that provided equations were "in a shorthand difficult to decipher."

Galen sent out his research findings to his colleagues in his own special shorthand without thinking of defining anything

And it's mentioned throughout the book that the way he writes is very rambly and with tangents and he'll write in different directions on a page and cram every bit of space with words

what makes this even funnier is that it's Lyra who he trusts to transcribe his notes. Which means that she transcribes all this down, doesn't get most of what it means but assumes any of Galen's scientific peers must understand it, and sends it on as is. And Galen trusts Lyra, so when she doesn't ask for further clarification on the notes, that must mean they're okay for sending!

like, i imagine galen could never figure out why he never got published, and Lyra's just like, "Honey, they'll realize they're missing out on something great soon." and on another planet, scientific journal editors and peer review boards internally scream when looking at the gibberish this supposedly hotshot scientist is sending them AGAIN and they throw everything into the trash compactor AGAIN because what the fuck they had told him to clarify, not write more nonsense

you don’t understand. this is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s.

headcanon:

one way that Galen slows down work on the Death Star is that he takes his terrible research writing habits and exaggerates it to the max.  You know how Leonardo da Vinci used to write backwards, right-to-left?  Galen starts pulling off that shit ASAP but adds vertical/diagonal/loop-de-loop writing, too.

Krennic had to actually hire codebreakers to be part of the "Transcribe Galen Erso's Notes" team just because Galen's notes became so illegible.

Galen used to take the time to simplify and re-simplify and re-simplify whatever crazy, complicated idea was in his head when he talked to Lyra until she could understand.  On Eadu, when scientists and engineers ask for clarification, he'll restate whatever concept in equally if not moreso confusing terms, using long weirdass metaphors. Or he'll just completely ignore them, saying, "Leave me be! I'm at a breakthrough!" And woe be those who interrupt Galen when he's breakthrough-ing.

Dr. Erso is such a nice - if quiet - man, think his coworkers. But every time he writes some indecipherable equation on his lab's boards, they have the intense, passionate urge to wring his neck.

Lyra/Galen, my OTP (with Lyra/Galen/Bodhi being my OTThreesome that will never be, apparently):

They're hot for each other:

"[Lyra] recalled the first time she’d set eyes on [Galen] on Espinar, thinking: If this guy was any more magnetic, pieces of metal would fly across the room and start sticking to him…"

"that what [Lyra] interpreted as hostility was actually a ploy that allowed [Galen] to maintain a safe distance from her while he sorted out what she wanted from him and solved the calculus of their relationship."

"what Galen had found in [Lyra]: his opposite."

"The expedition lasted six local months, and by the end of it they were lovers. She had made the first move, but he had gotten the hang of things very quickly."

aka: Galen was a virgin or with little experience, and the two ended up fucking like bunnies.

They have an incredibly healthy relationship where they respect each other's abilities?!

"With her maternal instincts running strong, she had to resist an urge to intercede [on Galen's behalf]. After all, she wasn’t Galen’s parent; she was his partner."

Lyra to Krennic, who is trying to shame Lyra for making Galen's work "harder for him": “He’s his own person, in any case, and whatever stress I introduce isn’t going to cripple his concentration or interfere with his work.”

"She restrained an impulse to touch Galen or send him any kind of reassuring message. The job was his choice and she was determined to stay out of it."

“I’m hardly sacrificing myself, Galen. Being here was as much my choice as yours.” She looked from Galen to Krennic and back again. “Anything else either of you want to say about my life?”

But are also incredibly devoted to each other and hold the other's opinions in the highest esteem?!

Galen to Lyra, regarding providing his research to the Separatists, who'll probably weaponize it: "Should I simply accept their terms? I will do it—for your sake, for the sake of our unborn daughter. You need only say the word."

Galen, while experiencing moral conflict over his research on Coruscant: "Would Lyra understand? Or would she accuse him of being so driven by a need to measure up to the challenge that he had not only abandoned caution and scientific discernment, but also dragged her and Jyn down with him? What would his legacy be then? Lyra might not see it as a noble lie so much as a grand betrayal."

When Jyn, Galen, and Lyra are doing research on a different planet that ends up being targeted by Separatists, they end up trying to run away from their over-run town but end up being cornered by Separatist droids. Galen is constantly putting himself in between the droids and Lyra/Jyn.

[Galen] turned to face [Lyra]. “I had myself convinced that I was doing it for you and Jyn and to safeguard future generations. Instead I failed as a husband, a father, and a scientist.” He snorted in a sad way, then said: “I can’t do anything about being a failed scientist, but I can correct the rest—if it’s not too late.” / She smiled in encouragement. “Don’t be an idiot. I didn’t fall in love with your research, Galen. I fell in love with you.” / He took her into his embrace and held her tightly, saying into her ear: “I love you and Jyn. You’re all that matter to me.” He’s back, she thought, resting her head against his chest.

Kyber Crystals

How kybers are found:

“In most cases, kybers are brought to the surface by seismic activity—movements along slippage fault lines, and typically only when an oceanic plate is sliding against a continental plate. But even then the movement has to be horizontal. The crystals rise, gathering impurities or other minerals along the way. That’s why it has always been said of kybers that they are more often grown than mined."

Characteristics:

Close and extended contact with kybers is detrimental to sleep.

"Even on the nights when sheer exhaustion overwhelmed his racing thoughts, the crystals infiltrated his dreams. The Jedi were believed to have been able to establish a kind of rapport with the kybers through the Force. Was it possible that the crystals could affect non-Force-users as well?"

“The internal structure is unlike anything I’ve seen. It’s almost a bridge between organic and inorganic, as close to alive as a stone can be—which I suspect is why the Jedi were able to interact with kybers through the Force."

"It warmed as he curled his hand around it, but he knew from previous research that the crystal would show no change in temperature; and he knew also that it would not warm a sheath or a towel or any inanimate object. It responded only to life, even plant life. Which made the Jedi’s use of it to power their lightsabers all the more ironic and mysterious."

"kyber’s mix of transparency and opacity—characteristics the ancient Jedi had referred to as “the water of the kyber.”"

"By rights lightsabers shouldn’t have been able to cut through meter-thick durasteel and yet they could, which lent credence to the notion of their being augmented by the Force itself."

"One Jedi commentator had called the kyber a somnolent stone that needed to be woken up to perform its purpose. But that same commentator had cautioned that the crystal was also easily insulted and a Jedi needed to take care."

Galen: "Now that he’d found a way to alter the internal structure of the crystals, the kybers seemed in turn to have found a way to alter his."

Kyber Necklace

Krennic had showed Lyra & Galen some kyber crystals as a way to tempt Galen to continue his kyber research. Lyra is the one who realizes that they came from Jedi lightsabers. Later on in the novel, Galen reveals that he keeps one of those crystals in his pocket. There's never any mention of Lyra's necklace throughout the book, so I'm pretty sure that Galen gives Lyra the kyber crystal post-escape

WHOSE LIGHTSABER DID IT COME FROM

c'mon, someone write about how that Jedi hangs around Lyra and Jyn as a Force Ghost. please please please.

Orson Krennic

started as an engineer.  Helped design/build a bunch of buildings, including on Coruscant

actually thinks, "Vader’s eccentric fashion sense notwithstanding"

[Krennic] turned back to Galen. “I wasn’t born brilliant or especially talented, but I’m capable and I’m driven, and that’s brought me to where I am."

Gotta give him credit: he really is a great manipulator. Tricked Has Obitt - the smuggler who would later smuggle the Ersos off Coruscant - and Tarkin into starting an all-out war between the Empire and an independent star system.

Krennic/Galen

One-Sided As Fuckkkkkk

I tried so hard to figure out how to describe their relationship.

Krennic is a Nice Guy (TM).

Krennics's that Guy who hangs around you a lot and you're kind of ???? about it but don't really say anything for or against said hovering, so he makes this epic love story between the two of you?  And gets weirdly jealous around your friends?

Krennic is kinda like the Star Wars version of Severus Snape, with Galen serving as Lily, Lyra as James, and Jyn as Harry. Except the "friendship" is pretty one-sided all the time, Krennic doesn't have any redemption attempts for his shitty-ass decisions, and Lyra was never a bully. Jyn as Harry seems pretty damn accurate, tho.

“except it seems I no longer have to fight your battles,” [said Krennic.] Galen wiped the drink from his face and nursed his fist. “You never did.”

“It can’t have escaped your attention that you have a powerful ally in Orson Krennic,” [said Tarkin.] / Galen raised his eyes from the carpet. “We were acquaintances in the Futures Program. Years ago.”

Quotes showing Krennic's Thirst for Galen:

[After rescuing the Ersos from Vallt:] Once inside, Krennic whirled Galen into an embrace. “How wonderful to see you after all this time!”

“We have to put some meat back on those bones of yours,” he said as he crossed the cabin to Galen, “but I think I could get used to the beard.”

"... and on a couple of occasions [Krennic] had been Galen’s protector in fights or brawls."  

[Lyra said,] “You realize that he’s never going to stop looking for you, Galen. You’re in his blood, crystal research or no. He’s never going to let go of you entirely.”

[When Krennic suspects the Ersos are escaping, but Krennic's stuck in traffic.] The anger and despair he had felt in the airspeeder returned and settled on him like a great weight. “Galen,” he said, as if orphaned. Then: “Galen!” shouting it to the busy sky.

Yes, Krennic just shouted Galen's name into the sky.

Krennic haaaaaaates Lyra omg (the feelings becomes increasingly mutual)

Krennic thinking about Lyra/Galen's courtship: "Still, he hadn’t expected the love affair to last more than a couple of months, and was shocked when they wed."

Thinking about the courtship again: "[Krennic was] being entertained by [Galen’s] bright-eyed confession that he had fallen in love. Galen, who would scarcely raise his eyes when a pretty woman entered a room, in love? It had to be a joke. The thought of Galen’s genius being undermined by some grasping creature drove him to distraction."

drove him to distraction

those words were actually written and published

Krennic said, "The Emperor has made reparations and reconstruction a priority, and one way he hopes to achieve this is by being able to provide sustainable energy to worlds that have suffered on both sides of the conflict.” He gestured with his chin to Galen. “Even your own Grange [Galen's home planet].” / Lyra’s brows quirked in a sign of doubt. “This is the same Palpatine who couldn’t get anything done as supreme chancellor?” / Krennic stared at her. “He defeated the Separatists.” / “With a lot of help.”

[When Krennic tries to make Lyra resent Galen for "holding her back":] [Lyra] regarded [Krennic] frankly. “I haven’t put my life on hold, Orson. My career, maybe, but certainly not my life.”

[Krennic said to Galen,] “You know what I find interesting—or maybe ironic is the word. It’s that each of us wants what’s best for you. In a way, we’re competing to make you happy, as old-fashioned as that sounds. And each of us has a different idea about what you should be doing. Especially now that you two have a child, Lyra wants you to be settled on a course that will mean the most for the family—fulfilled in a somewhat conventional way—and I maintain that you’re meant for bigger things, and will continue to do whatever I can to bring opportunities to your attention.” / Galen smiled thinly. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it.”

[Krennic, regarding Lyra:] "That left only one person who still needed to be broken."

[Krennic said to Galen,] “Don’t you see what Lyra’s really trying to do? She’s using these alleged concerns to persuade you to abandon your research. Her goal is to keep you to herself—to stand in the way of your legacy.”

[Lyra, when thinking about Krennic's machinations:] "Was Galen to become the prize in a contest between them? Well, hadn’t he always been that?"

Krennic also hates Jyn

probably because she reminds him how Galen didn't Choose Him (the Snape parallels are strongggg)

he forgets her name 2/3 of the book and calls her "it" in his head

"Orson tracked [toddler Jyn], his upper lip curled in what seemed disapproval. “She’s feisty.”

“Yes, how is the child?” Krennic asked, all but sneering. “Into everything, I’ll bet.”

"The fact was that work on the superlaser was stalled, and Galen’s insights were needed more than ever. After all [Krennic] had done for Galen! Fame would have come to him. Grandeur. Legacy. Without his science, Galen was a nonentity. And Lyra… Flushed with anger, he peeled his gloves off as he walked and threw them violently to the polished floor. He would leave no stone unturned in the search for them.

Two things:

one: he's walking down a hallway in this scene. he literally throws his gloves to the ground and keeps walking down a hallway. our fave drama queen.

two: i honestly cannot decide whether that last line was a massive piece of dramatic irony purposefully written by the author. It's just... so good?! And hilarious?!  Looks like Krennic forgot to give that order on Lah'mu to his troopers.

Tarkin/Krennic: A Never-ending Dick Measuring Contest

"The two officers [Krennic and Tarkin] had begun to circle each other as they spoke. “Our main weapon will have more firepower than ten vessels that size,” Krennic said. / Tarkin looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Should it ever reach completion.”"

Ok, so I'm not going to get into all the scenes/lines that the two had between them (mostly because I didn't highlight them on my Kindle), but:

the greatest reveal of this book (other than Lyra's awesomeness)

is that the reason the Ersos escaped to Lah'mu in the first place

is because Tarkin facilitated their flight

ok, it's not confirmed, but it's heavily implied

remember that unexpected war I mentioned earlier that Krennic tricked Tarkin into fighting? So Tarkin saves Has - originally Krennic's agent, who betrayed the Empire after being Shown The Light by Lyra - in order to question him, and realizes that Krennic had played both of them. and so Tarkin is PISSED (and relunctantly impressed). And Tarkin knows Has is anti-Krennic. So Tarkin goes, "Hey, I'll let you live if you play as MY spy in Krennic's employees," and Has thinks quickly and goes, "Oh, sure, but let me send out this message to Coruscant to make my return seem natural," and  sends a message to the Ersos that BASICALLY says, "Yo, you want me to grab your family and ditch?" Like, five minutes prior, Has had confessed to Krennic that Lyra Erso had Made Him See The Light. Tarkin ABSOLUTELY knew what Has was planning to do.

and that's how Tarkin's dick grew a centimeter the next time he and Krennic compared

Jyn Erso

born on the first day of Vallt's spring.

is technically a Vallti citizen

nicknamed "Stardust" by Galen because her eyes changed colors and "became flecked."

“Stardust,” Galen said. “That’s what’s in her eyes.”

YOU MONSTER:

"Having hurried over to have a look [at the kyber crystals], Jyn said: “I want one!”

“Maybe someday,” Lyra said.

Jyn is an incredibly normal child, and it friggin HURTS to think about what she’s forced to become

3 year-old Jyn used to travel around in the Coruscant research facility on the Star Wars equivalent of a hoverboard. Her parents forced her to wear a helmet. a;lsdkjfasdf socute

She's a pretty independent child, able to entertain herself for hours

She'd run around around with a toy sword in a scabbard and her stuffed animals.

"Instantly adopted by everyone, Jyn—indefatigable as ever—reveled in being the center of attention, entertaining everyone with her antics, watching closely, learning.

There's this kids' holodrama called The Octave Stairway, which Jyn is obsessed with

one: i had to shoo the Discworld reactions away.

two: the story is about this kid Brin who wants to go home, but to go home, he has to go down these eight floors of challenges in a castle. And at the very bottom he'll get the item that will help him fly up through all of those floors and out of the castle and back home

two-a: so in the book, Galen directly compares himself to Brin (he thinks Jyn drew Brin to look like him), and this scene is basically where he breaks down and realizes how he's pushed his family away and he cries and asks Jyn for forgiveness and Jyn is sweet and says, “It’s okay, Papa. Can we follow Brin home now?”

two-b: but you know how in my Second Viewing post I mentioned how falling/climbing (or, more accurately: going down/going up) seemed to happen waaaaay too often with Jyn for it to not be some sort of theme?  

two-c: WELL THIS STUPID HOLODRAMA JUST ADDS TO MY CONSPIRACY THEORY.  and possibly gives me a better idea as to what the dichotomy symbolizes.  

Saw Gerrera

"[Saw] wasn’t shouting, but he might as well have been, such was the force of his personality."

[Saw talking to Has during the unexpected war] “Cheery thought. Throw dirt in your enemy’s face, get crushed underfoot.” / Saw stopped what he was doing and walked over to him. “Look at it this way, Has. If we can persuade enough people to start throwing dirt…” / Realizing that he was supposed to finish the thought, Has considered it, then said: “Eventually we bury them.”

Random Bits and Pieces that Didn't Fit Above

“You [clonetroopers] are never less than predictable,” [said the smuggler Has.] / “Yeah, we’re made that way,” the other clone said.

“Is there some equation that can put an end to all this, Dr. Erso?” one of the shaken insectoids asked. Galen set himself down on the floor to join him. 

 “If sentient beings were moved by the same laws that govern nature, there might be. But as we’ve come to embody entropy, I don’t hold out much hope.”

A second Lokori countered: “Surely the Jedi have unlocked the secrets of reversing chaos and will be able to outwit nature at its own game.”

“The Force derives from nature,” Galen said somberly. “Against such chaos, even the Jedi are capable of accomplishing only so much.”

oh my god the Death Star project is codenamed "Project Celestial Power" POWAAAAAAH

names of Cantinas: Malicious Moondog on Suba, Contented Krayt on Tatooine,

The Hiitian [a member of the independent solar system that wars with the Empire] agreed. “Occupation? Captain Obitt, you’ve obviously visited worlds that have chosen that route. How is life there?” 

Has smiled in solidarity. “I’d rather fight.” Again he glanced at Saw and his fellow smugglers. 

“That’s why all of us are here.” The humanoid flexed his feathered back. “What we fail to protect, Captain, we will leave in ruins.”

There's a celebration called All-Species Week on Coruscant

GIMME THE HISTORY OF SPECIESISM IN THE GALAXY

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

[unfairaddiction]

Bullet Train Chp. 1

A/N: I took a lot of liberties writing this. We don’t know a lot about Deadlock/what kind of hold they actually have over route 66 so I’m just gonna work with the theory that everything and everyone that lives/works there is somehow involved with the gang and if they aren’t they don’t want anything to do with them generally. I’m not gonna pretend I know how to fix things, but I’m gonna try and make it sound believable that the main character does. I’m going to try to have McCree make an appearance next chapter but this is really just set up! I hope you enjoy.

Route 66 was a busy place. It’s inhabitants were frequently coming and going on various jobs, an endless stream of screaming and yelling. The roar of engines from old pickup trucks and motorcycles frequently filled the canyon. A girl sat on the edge of Deadlock Gorge. She was on her lunch break and she had 25 minutes before she had to be anywhere, she sat and listened to how unusually quiet it was. The diner was open to visitors.     It was an odd weekend. Generally the locals didn’t take too kindly to visitors. It was rare that they were this friendly. Zed had even let her handle a few customers who weren’t from the area. It was why she opted for the spot away from the garage, Zed was less likely to ask her to come back early from her break if she looked over the gorge by the diner, rather than from behind his garage.     Her legs dangled precariously over the edge of the ridge. It was a hot day, she figured it was at least 90 degrees. Her tank top was soaked in sweat, and her lips were dry and cracked, but she had 23 minutes left in her break. She didn’t want to crowd the diner anymore than it was, and she didn’t want to return to her job at Zed’s Garage. She supposed she could stop by the gas station and see if their fans were working, maybe pick up a soda on her way back to work. Knowing her luck she wouldn’t have time to get a soda either, after she inevitably helped the attendant fix whatever was broken today.     With a sigh she swung her legs back onto solid ground and lifted herself off the dirt. She dusted herself off and casually strolled past the ‘Cave of Mystery’ and made her way past a decrepit phone booth. The gas station was nothing special, Big Earl’s wasn’t groundbreaking. It had two pumps beneath an overhang. Behind the pumps were two garage doors that were currently open. The left door was narrow while the door on the right was wide. You could see a couple racks of snacks in the center of the store, and behind them toward the back wall were a line of fridges full of various drinks. By the left wall tucked out of sight from the outside was a counter with a cash register. There were three fans in this gas station, a ceiling fan and 2 fans on the floor, one was in the right corner facing away from the fridges and the other was in a room to the left in their stock room doorway.     There was a family filling up their van at one of the pumps when the girl slid into the gas station. She had 20 minutes to get back. She noticed that the only other person in the building was the woman behind the counter who had a sour look on her face, she also noticed none of the fans were on, and it was sweltering in the building. She hated the heat and could feel her tank top sticking to her skin.     “Lilah! Thank god!” the woman behind the counter cried and rushed out wrapping the other in a hug, which was ill advised considering just how blisteringly hot it was. “You have to fix the fans!” she was practically in tears. Her eyeliner was smeared and her makeup was patchy, she’d been sweating it off all day. Lilah considered not helping her at all, but a favor could go a long way here.     “I only have time to fix one,” Lilah’s voice was soft. The woman released Lilah and told her to fix the one by the stock room door.     “You’re a lifesaver! A saint sent directly from heaven!” she laughed.     “Are the tools still in the back Cadee?” Lilah asked as she made her way to the stores stock room. The man from the van came in. Lilah judged him briefly, based solely on appearances he seemed like a friendly guy. He had silver rimmed glasses and he was balding, he wore a plaid flannel shirt and jeans. Lilah thought to herself, ‘Too bad Ricky isn’t here, he could probably pinch a few cards off this guy.’ The way he chatted up Cadee he’d be an easy mark.     “Yea! Just go ahead and help yourself,” Cadee replied pushing her black curls out of her face as she returned to the register. Lilah had 17 minutes to fix the fan. It should be easy enough, this particular one was on its last legs and all Lilah was doing was prolonging its suffering. Once upon a time, it was oscillating and turned slowly, it was now held together by duct tape and the power of hope. She could see what was wrong, the wiring was exposed, and she just needed the electrical tape, she hoped it was all she needed, she didn’t have time for much else. She did her best to shove the exposed wires back into place and threw tape over it.     “This has maybe a week left!” Lilah called over to Cadee as she finished ringing up the customer. “But it should work!” She plugged the fan back in and flipped the switch, for a second nothing happened and then the fan slowly began to spin. Lilah had 4 minutes to get back to work. She could make it in time if she started running now. She made her way back to the front and ran out the door.     “Thanks Lilah! I owe you!” Lilah made a note of that. Cadee, while she wasn’t a big fish, still was a resourceful girl. 

Lilah had lucked out when Old Man Zed had taken her under his wing. He was the closest thing she had to a father. Her parents had left her on the side of the road when she was 6 and had never came back and Zed had been the one to find her, and he had given her a place to stay. He’d taught her everything he knew and gave her a place to work. Zed could fix anything, or so he claimed, and what he couldn’t Lilah could. She had a gift for these things. Zed had tried to keep her out of Deadlock business, but she quickly gained a reputation and leadership didn’t want to let any talent slip out of their hands.     She’d officially joined when she was 16. Her tattoo was on her shoulder, right where the world could see. She wanted it to be somewhere she could hide it, like the others but the leader in route 66, Duke the Destroyer as he liked to be called, most everyone called him Duke the Dick behind his back of course, Duke had decided for her. She knew why he had chosen her shoulder. With old man Zed encouraging her to leave when she was old enough to be on her own she was a flight risk. If her tattoo was somewhere that was hard to hide then the only place she would be accepted would be in Deadlock territory.     Zed didn’t try arguing when they had come to initiate her into the gang. He had not been pleased, but there was nothing he could do. The only thing he had been able to succeed at was convincing Duke that she was more useful on route 66 then she was out in the field, that she was better off alive then dead or in jail. So while the gang was out on jobs she was back here fixing cars for troubled tourists.     Maybe that’s why it was so packed today. The more ornery members were out on a job right now. No one around to scare off the good customers. It was always interesting to Lilah to see families with kids, they always seemed so happy. Her eye twitched at the thought of her own. She wondered what they were doing now, her real parents. She wondered if her father could have been like the man from the gas station.     “Lilah you’re late!” Zed snapped Lilah out of her thoughts as she approached the small garage.     “Sorry,” she said meekly, looking away from him. He’d always been “Old Man Zed”, even when he was younger. His expression was always sour, even when he was happy he had a perpetual frown. His brown eyes were framed by crows feet and his once dark hair was graying. Lilah always felt bad whenever he took on that accusing tone. He had given her everything and the least she could do was be on time. She sighed and straightened her shoulders. Her family was here.     “Everyone’s getting back tomorrow. We need to get all this shit done before they get back. Hurry up.” Zed’s garage was small and he could only work on one car at a time. Lilah had a small workplace toward the back of the shop where she could work on smaller vehicles like motorcycles and scooters while he used the main area for cars.     While Zed finished up with tourist’s cars Lilah worked on the Deadlock’s bikes and occasionally fixing other miscellaneous things people brought in. She cleaned up the shop and helped Zed when he needed it. It wasn’t a terribly eventful day. The family she’d seen at the gas station stopped by to get their oil changed and Lilah caught herself wondering if they were traveling, on their way to their vacation spot. She wondered if the kid’s parents were going to leave them here like hers had. She quickly looked away when her thoughts went from fun family vacations to child abandonment and her own bitterness.     Eventually they left and Lilah finished putting away the tools and cleaning up the messes they had made during the day while Zed closed up the garage. The sun set in the distance, she couldn’t believe it was that late already. She wondered what time the gang would be getting back. Normally when she and Zed were leaving everyone was drinking at the High Side, the bar across the street from them. There was no line of motorcycles and the windows were dark. It was a silent night on Route 66.     ‘The calm before a storm,’ Lilah silently mused to herself. If the job was a success they’d be partying all day and all night tomorrow. If it wasn’t they’d still be drinking but more prone to fighting in the street and scaring everyone who had stopped at The Cave Inn for the night.     “I’m going to the Panorama for dinner. You coming?” Zed snapped Lilah out of her thoughts.     “Are you…” Lilah started. She was always short on cash, it was easier to spend it then try and keep it and hide it away from the rest of the gang.     “Yes I’m paying,” Zed snapped.     “Sure. What do I owe this treat to?” Lilah was curious. Zed never invited her to eat unless he had something to share.     “Duke called ahead. He says they owe their success to that doodad you made. Gave us a nice bonus.” Zed’s frown wasn’t as deep as it normally was. Zed accepted payments on Lilah’s behalf, she didn’t like dealing with Duke if she didn’t have to and Zed could understand that. Zed charged her a fee, since he didn’t much like Duke either but it was something she was willing to deal with since he let her stay on his couch rent free.     They ate dinner mostly in silence, the diner now mostly empty was silent as well. All the people who normally inhabited it at this time were gone. It was nice. The jukebox played old music and the staff dropped their fake customer services voices and it was nice. Once the rowdy gang member got back Lilah wouldn’t be able to walk around alone. She should’ve made plans with Cadee to do something on a nice night like this. Cadee wouldn’t even be able to ditch her to go see her ‘boyfriend’ since he was out on the job.     Lilah looked around at the posters on the wall of the diner. It was a nice place, when it wasn’t loud and full of obnoxious men and women yelling and screaming at each other over real or imagined slights. Lilah remembered when she was 15 and one of the other girls thought she was trying to steal her boyfriend because he’d been ‘spending too much time at the garage’ and had slammed Lilah’s head into the counter. It had been her first fight, and it hadn’t gone well. After that Zed had taught her the basics of self defense. She was no master fighter but if push came to shove she could protect herself. Lilah went back to her food.     “Duke wants you to sit in tomorrow,” Zed said as he took a sip of his drink. She stopped, her fork halfway to her mouth, her shoulders tense.        “What? Why?” she asked, she wasn’t a high ranking member. Leadership went to after heist meetings, not someone as low ranking as Lilah. Zed shrugged.

“Apparently there’s a client that Duke thinks you could be of use to. I don’t know though. He didn’t elaborate much. But tomorrow night at 8 you need to be in the backroom.” Zed was a hard man to read but even he looked a little on edge. Lilah had only been to the backroom of the warehouse a few times and it was never a fun experience. However, there was no saying no to Duke.

[humanoid-lovers]

Good read despite an unwelcome left turn. This was a funny and casually well-written book, a good read But it's a little frustrating because it abandons the "narrative," if you will, without finishing it. The first 2/3 of the book deal with Spade's upbringing, his grind through the comedy club scene, and his slow climb from SNL writer to SNL performer. Even though it's written with a light touch, that stuff is all pretty compelling. But it drops that thread after he's made it as an SNL cast member. It doesn't tell the story of what prompted him to leave SNL, or his movie career (except for Tommy Boy), or his experience on sitcoms. Instead, the last 1/3 of the book morphs into more of a George Carlin "Brain Droppings" type thing -- little observational essays on miscellaneous topics ranging from doing cocaine to his thoughts on dating tricks that women pull. I would have been really interested to hear why he made the jump from SNL when he did (given how hard his climb there was) and whether he's happy or not with his sitcom and movie work. The guy writes so well and so honestly about his career that I certainly could have read a lot more of it. But still, this is an entertaining read and I'd recommend it for anyone who likes a fun, self-aware memoir. Go to Amazon

Hilarious novel, great for SNL/Spade fans Growing up loving/idolizing Farley, Spade, Sandler, and Rock on SNL, I knew I had to read this book. If you're like me and can recite Tommy Boy, line-by-line, this book's for you. Spade's sense of humor translates very well (no ghostwriter, just Spade). If you're not a fan of his dry, somewhat silly, sense of humor, this book isn't for you as much of its charm is how Spade manages to deliver his trademark humor throughout. I loved hearing about his years on SNL, and the inner-workings of that machine, including the intense schedules, politics with guest hosts and cast members and writers, etc. The majority of the book is his early life growing up in Arizona, starting in stand-up comedy, getting his start in LA, and SNL. It's almost like this is part one because so much is seemingly left out. While I loved the Chris Farley/Tommy Boy/Black Sheep chapters (check out the book, The Chris Farley Show, if you want an excellent read), I knew he wouldn't get too deep into that. Spade was deeply affected by Chris's death and I respect that he wants to keep private moments private. Also, it would have brought the book down too much to dwell. I was very surprised there weren't any chapters devoted to his tv shows like 8 Simple Rules..., Just Shoot Me, or Rules of Engagement. I also wanted to know more about his daughter. Other than a brief mention in the acknowledgements, there was nothing. We hear about how he loses his virginity, does too much coke (such a randomly-placed chapter, by the way), Twitter and Instagram shenanigans, and dating how-to's, yet no mention of her. There aren't any great revelations made, though he's lived a very colorful life and worked hard to obtain his level of fame. I found myself laughing out loud several times. Check out this book for a good laugh and several good stories, including the "deets" on the infamous Eddie Murphy "sitch". Go to Amazon

Makes me nostalgic for the 90's. As a Gen Xer going to college during much of David Spade's SNL stint and loving the entire cast and every sketch during those early 90's, I became a fan of his a long time ago. I love his standup, so funny to watch. This book is not written by a professional writer which makes this better...he writes this book like he's doing standup which works perfectly for his story and his personality. As was mentioned previously a million times, I hope he comes out with another book picking up where he left off and talking more about the rest of his professional life (and personal). Dennis Finch is one of the best TV characters of the last few decades....would love to read more about that. This book gives a really fascinating insider's look at how the SNL sausage was made during that time. I have read several books by comedians but this one gets more personal than other's I've read. After you read this, you come to the understanding that he was a regular schlub, just like the rest of us, who worked his butt off to get where he is...and he must be a really charming guy. Go to Amazon

Self-deprecating, Honest, and Relatable Lots of interesting and comical situations. The sacrifices and hard work he has done shows why he has the success he has. While he doesn't have what most would consider a great writing style, I got quite a few laughs out of it. He seems to be honest and straightforward because his prose is self-deprecating yet doesn't have to be. The ending was weird, though. He stops somewhat abruptly and we miss out on his current events. The book primarily covers his childhood, his early stand-up, SNL, and Tommy Boy with Chris Farley. After that, not so much. The ending oddly detailed several bits of advice about relationships, which, I have to admit, was somewhat educational, surprisingly funny,and shamefully accurate. Don't expect the whole book to be an autobiography and don't expect the book to cover his life up to the publish date of the book. Still a great read that earns 5 stars. Go to Amazon

Worth it this book was great. David Spade is one of the funniest comedians ... Buh bye Best Read in a long time. Read it! Actually interesting! Hated it Terrible read Into the lives of comics. Fun read

[nancyden5-blog]

Actual Estate Investment In France

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