squeaky-reaper

[cappurrccino]

i am once again chickening out of getting a haircut bc trying to look up reference pics for what i might want is just wading through a sea of styles that i know took a lot of work and expensive products to get like that and i know i simply will not be able to replicate it

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[wielderofmysteries]

Jace Beleren, Masculinity, and the Trans Experience

(This post is a Twitter thread I wrote in response to a Goblin Lore podcast episode called “Jace Beleren and Toxic Masculinity”.)

I feel I have a unique perspective on this topic as a trans man. Trans man Jace isn't my headcanon, but it's an interpretation I love. He's my favorite character of all time, and as a trans man, I feel like reading Jace's flaws as toxic masculinity isn't quite right.

There are several "pillars" of toxic masculinity that Jace doesn't have. He doesn't have the self-destructive emotional repression, worship of sex and violence, or desire to subjugate women and his peers that men who experience toxic masculinity have.

Even BEFORE Ixalan, Jace was an example of many positive masculine traits. He was curious and emotionally open. He wrongly believed he could make decisions for others, but he cared for people, wanted to protect them, and couldn't sit idly by when he knew people were in danger.

In Agents of Artifice, he financially provided for Kallist and Liliana, and in Magic Story invited the Gatewatch to live in his home. Jace wanted to heal Garruk, tried to stop his rampage and had a Hedron implanted in Garruk's shoulder to relieve the effects of the curse.

"I don't want to hurt you, Garruk."

"Lucky for me, I don't feel the same way."

"Garruk, this is not a fair fight. You've suffered enough. Please. Come with me."

[...]

Jace stood in thought. Garruk held him by the throat, could end his life in an eye blink, had already proven he was immune to Jace's illusions. Garruk laughed again. If Garruk was open to having friends, then Jace might have been a good one.

"You win," said Jace. "We will leave you alone. I will not seek you out. But please, if you change your mind, come find us on Ravnica. Something is still not right here. We can help you."

In "Revelation at the Eye" Jace tells Ugin that Zendikar isn't a puzzle to be solved, and that it didn't matter if killing the Eldrazi has consequences, there are real people on Zendikar fighting for their lives and he needs to help them.

"Zendikar isn't a puzzle to be solved," said Jace. "It's a place. It's somebody's home. And those people are out there, right now, fighting for their world and wondering if anybody's going to help them kill what's killing them."

He showed scenes of suffering, then—of families mourning the lost, of landscapes ravaged by Ulamog, of even the skies and seas teeming with the Eldrazi menace.

Ugin cocked his head. The hedron architecture of the chamber seemed to melt and flow, became a pattern of tessellating dragons mocking him from the walls.

"So certain," said Ugin, "and so young."

Ral Zarek tried to kill Jace and ruined his relationship with his close friend Emmara, but in "Project Lightning Bug", Jace forgives him. Jace is honest about his feelings with Ral even after Ral was openly rude to him.

"I don't remember home," Beleren said quietly, unbidden.

"What?"

"You talked about growing up in Ravnica. A lot of my memories from my childhood are gone. Chopped up in my head into a few impressions. Most of what I remember begins here, on Ravnica. I'll never have roots here the way you do, and I admit I'm off to other planes a lot. But I think of myself as Ravnican to the core, too."

In Kaladesh block he wanted Chandra to be able to confide in him, and didn't want to stay home when he heard she could be in trouble. He used his mind magic to help Nissa sleep when she had a sensory overload in the busy city.

Nissa looked up. Jace and Gideon were exchanging a look. Both glanced at her.

They stood as one.

Jace turned toward the coat room. "I'll head to Kaladesh. It should be easy for me to—"

Lavinia appeared in his path, one hand resting on the pommel her sword. "Again?" she said, in a weary, disappointed tone.

He frowned up at her. "You can't expect me to sit here and do paperwork!"

Across the streets, beyond the barricades, the Consulate's panharmonicons are still blaring "The Gremlin's Wedding March" at us on infinite repeat at double speed. They left them on all night, and after the moon set Nissa started crying, hands clamped over her ears.

[...]

Jace sat down with her. They talked a minute and his eyes flashed. She curled up in a big potted plant and didn't wake up until the sun fell on her.

But what does being a man mean to Jace Beleren? Well, take a look at his feelings towards Gideon. Jace saw Gideon as the male ideal. I think Jace admires (and is envious of) the way Gideon is a representation of positive masculinity.

Eyes widened, jaws set. They understood their task, he was certain of that. But were they actually prepared to perform it?

What would Gideon say?

Jace smiled. Of course.

"For Zendikar," he said, raising one fist in the air. It felt thin to him, lacking Gideon's armored fist, his baritone war cry, his iron conviction.

None of that mattered. The soldiers shouted as one voice, holding their weapons aloft.

"For Zendikar!"

Gideon is not violent or hypersexual. He's kind, not afraid to ask for help, a defender rather than an aggressor. The pillars of toxic masculinity are absent in both Jace and Gideon. So why does Gideon's mere presence make Jace insecure? I think that insecurity is dysphoria.

I'm only 5 feet tall. People treat me like a kid, think I need help, and certainly don't see me as a man because I'm very small. It feels bad knowing my looks don't inspire others or make them feel safe like big tall guys can.

Gideon is super tall, muscular, conventionally attractive. He's charismatic and a natural leader. Gideon's like a human lighthouse. Jace is average height, out-of-shape, often pale and sickly, and his telepathy makes people automatically distrust him.

It's easy to see why people follow Gideon's lead so easily rather than Jace's. As a trans man, I personally related to Jace's insecurity. He feels inadequate compared to Gideon.

"I'd rather stand," said Gideon.

Jace stood up. It was an error. He still had to crane his neck to look Gideon in the eye, and now the size difference between them was glaringly obvious. He hated feeling small. Hated it.

Jace wanting to lead the Gatewatch didn't come from a desire to dominate others and be an ~alpha male~, but from a desire for people to believe in him. What Jace really wants is to prove to himself and others that he's competent and that he can be trusted.

This vision appeared whenever the man was struggling at a task.

[...]

"Listen, you aren't really suited to this task. Let me handle it." The vision's voice was gruff but friendly.

It came off as condescending.

The man was annoyed.

"I can do it myself."

The hallucination sighed. "You and I both know you're not suited to this. Let me handle it, you go philosophize on the other end of the beach."

"I said I can do it myself." The man let his irritation reach his voice.

"No, you can't. I call the shots and execute, you stand to the side. That's how this works."

The man responded by throwing his hook at the hallucination. It went straight through the figure's eye and landed behind him on the sand.

The time he spends with Vraska is so good for him! I loved that [the podcasts hosts] talked about how he was finally happy to follow someone else's lead! He didn't need to be a leader, he needed someone to trust him. She respected and loved him and thought he was incredible for who he is.

Vraska looked him in the eye. "You're incredible. You know that, right?"

Jace returned her smile and felt his cheeks warming. "I do my best."

"Well, your best is incredible," Vraska said, turning toward the central tower and approaching a large gate on what appeared to be its back side.

Liliana never told Jace he was incredible.

Liliana would have scoffed. She would have made a dismissive joke, rolled her eyes, and called him a show-off. She would not bother to talk to him for days. She would consume the body of a demon with a crocodile's jaws and laugh over the sound of its flesh tearing off. She would do all sorts of things, but she would never call him incredible.

It was important for Jace to get that validation. Now he's not insecure about his appearance. It's not that he finally developed into someone who was caring. He was caring all along, but he was held back by insecurity about how others perceive him. He learned to love himself.

Despite all his good qualities and deeds he still felt insecure because it wasn't easy to visually see him as a "strong man". I think it's important to acknowledge positive masculinity even when the man in question isn't attractive or charismatic, and even if he makes mistakes.

As a trans person, Jace's experience reminded me of the struggle to "pass". It's frightening how easily insecurity can turn into toxic masculinity when you feel different from "real men". If you don't look the part, some people will just never acknowledge you.

Next to 'perfect' guys like Gideon, it's easy to see our own perceived weaknesses and shortcomings. Easy to feel resentment for it. But from this struggle comes the strive to be better men, to be confident in ourselves, and comfortable in our bodies.

There's SO much I wanted to talk about, like how Jace's trauma shaped his need for control, how the IRL gamer guys he was created to represent actually hate him, how he's a male victim of abuse by a female partner, etc but this thread is already terribly long.

TLDR; I think toxic masculinity as a reading of Jace is missing some perspective. The trans perspective. Not all insecurity men experience is toxic masculinity. Sorry I totally should have waited until part 2 was out, but I couldn't stop thinking about that episode.

There's a lack of trans men's voices in... basically everything, and this is something I think we should definitely be included in. I'm so grateful for the Vorthos community opening these kinds of discussions. Super excited for part 2 of the podcast!

[rufousnmacska]

I have a lot of thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames, and since it helps me to write them out, I thought I’d share.

It’s behind a cut because SPOILERS and it’s long lol!

Nesta

I had expected we’d learn that Nesta had suffered some type of abuse or trauma as a child that Elain and Feyre were not aware of. I wasn’t expecting it to be so subtle, for lack of a better word. Abuse comes in a lot of forms, which I think SJM is good at showing. Emotionally manipulating your daughter for power, ignoring her in favor of your business and money … those may not be as visible as physical or verbal abuse, but they still cause damage.

I’m not sure how to convey it properly, but I thought it was important to show how the parts of her that were born from the abuse and trauma, while dark or not always healthy, were still useful. The wolf she became to survive her childhood helped her survive the cauldron. Not being able to “turn it off” is what hurt her. My favorite quote:

“So Nesta had become a wolf. Armed herself with invisible teeth and claws, and learned to strike faster, deeper, more lethally. Had relished it. But when the time came to put away the wolf, she’d found it had devoured her too.”

And as Amren said later “That’s the key isn’t it? To know the darkness will always remain, but how you choose to face it, handle it … that’s the important part. To not let it consume. To focus on the good, the things that fill you with wonder.”

I’ve seen a lot of fans upset that Nesta gave up her cauldron powers at the end to save Feyre and the baby. Although I’d initially hoped (post acofas) that her training would be more about her magic than physical training, I’m okay with how it worked out. She never wanted that power and she never liked having it. She stole it as revenge and she fought constantly to suppress it. Was she a badass when she wielded it? Absolutely! But ultimately, her giving it back was the final big step in her healing arc and acceptance of herself. (That doesn’t mean she’s “cured.” This will be an ongoing battle for her. I only mean this in terms of the story in this book.)

She chose to sacrifice it, unlike so many other times in her life when things were forced on her or happened to her. Unlike the future her mother had set out for her. Unlike when they were poor and her father did nothing to get them through. Unlike when she was thrown into the cauldron and then a war. Even unlike when she was forced to move into the House of the Wind, and her apartment – the one place she had chosen for herself no matter how run down it was – got demolished. I’m not going to go into the intervention too much. It was poorly done, but I doubt any of them had experience in doing one. A conversation acknowledging that might have been nice. And I’m not ignoring Feyre and Rhys’s hypocrisy of Nesta being confined to a place where she effectively had no way to leave on her own. The stairway at that point was not an option. But the bottom line is that Nesta needed help and was not in a position to willingly accept it or seek it out.

Regardless, she is still a lethal badass. She still has some of her powers, along with her fighting skills, which will only get better and better. So, the idea that she gave up what made her strong, or ended up as some meek housewife …  I don’t agree with that at all. She has the intelligence and potential to become a force in leading armies. Not to mention her skill as an emissary. (Which Cassian finally learned how to imitate lol!)

On a personal note, I’m intimately familiar with the depression and self-loathing Nesta experienced in this book. Although I don’t necessarily react to those feelings in the same ways or exhibit the same coping mechanisms (I tend to turn my anger inward rather than outward), I could still relate to her journey. Her stubbornness and feelings that she didn’t deserve love or anything good or kind were presented accurately in my opinion. Parts were hard for me to read because of that. But I loved that she was able to make her way through the pain and finally begin to accept and love herself. And I especially loved that she was helped not only by Cassian, but by her friendship with Emerie and Gwyn.

And the House! Holy shit. The magic houses in this world piss me off to no end because they are not real and I will forever need to clean my own place LOL! Her relationship with the house was beautiful and funny and I love that she Made it! She needed a friend, someone to understand her, not only what she wanted but what she needed, and boom! The House of the Wind came alive for her.

So, overall, I loved Nesta’s journey. I’m happy she ended in a place that brought her inner peace and the ability to better deal with her problems in the future.

 Nessian

I loved them before this book and I love them more after. The smut was a little shocking at first lol but I’ve read the Black Dagger Brotherhood books, which SJM loves, so really, it wasn’t that out there. I loved that Cassian showed that even with the mating bond, he could give Nesta space and freedom. In that respect, their relationship felt more mature to me than feysand. Their banter and the sexual tension was great! (The book is about a book.) They had some not great moments, as they have in past books. But those were realistic. People argue and say things they regret. But they also talk through it and apologize. This is a good time to point out – NOT ALL APOLOGIES INVOLVE EXPLICITLY SAYING I AM SORRY. There are other ways to show remorse and ask for forgiveness.

I don’t know if I had one favorite moment as there were quite a few. I think the most emotional for me was when they reached the lake. I know firsthand how difficult it is to speak aloud the things Nesta said. And I am also lucky to have people in my life who responded the way Cassian did – with love and support and kindness.

The nightmare scene, the prison scene, the dancing, the mating bond, Cassian turning the knife on himself … I loved them all!

The Valkyries

I fucking loved them! Gwyn and Emerie were absolute delights and I’m so glad Nesta made good friends of her own who she could be herself with. Their bonding over books, training, and their pasts was wonderful. Nesta urging them on and defending them from the Illyrians in the Blood Rite was a beautiful step in her healing. Before this book, I was hesitant about the foreshadowing that Nesta would take part in the Rite, fearing it would become some sort of white savior trope to help the female Illyrians. But I enjoyed the way it ended up happening. I know it seemed unrealistic for Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn to get that far against warriors who’d been training for years. But part of the point was the males were arrogant as fuck. They underestimated the trio, to their detriment. Nesta and her friends used cunning as much as strength and skill to get where they did.

And I loved the image of Emerie and Gwyn just sitting back, sipping tea and admiring the river after going through a week of pure hell and winning the Blood Rite.

I hope we get more of them all together in the next books.

ETA - I can’t believe I forgot! Gwyn writing their story because their stories deserve to be told 🥲💕

The sisters

Overall I liked how things turned out with them.

Elain is still a bit of a non-entity to me. I don’t feel like I really know anything about her. Which, to some extent, is the point I think. There will be a lot to reveal in her story and she has a shitload of healing to do. She may have the appearance of adjusting and fitting in, but I don’t buy it. Nesta telling Elain to fuck off was awesome and long overdue. But Elain was also right in pointing out how others treat her and the trauma she’s experienced. I think there is still more to be dealt with between these two in the next book.

Feyre and Nesta were the more interesting relationship to me. The eldest and the youngest tend to butt heads in my opinion (and personal experience). So I was glad they came to an understanding. And very glad that Feyre did not get angry with Nesta for telling her about the baby. Rhys deserved the wrath for that.

One thing I would have liked to see discussed was the role of their parents in their lives. Nesta holds a lot of guilt for how she reacted to their poverty and I think that is understandable. I think Elain does too. However, I do not think any of the sisters should harbor blame for what happened. Their father was responsible for them. Period. Even if he was physically unable to work or help around the house, he still could have been a father. Yes, Feyre stepped up and fed them. Nesta and Elain didn’t help. It was his role to make them. Not in an abusive way. But step up and tell Nesta and Elain to do something, whether it’s chop wood or gather food from the wild. I don’t know. In my opinion, it is wrong to place blame on young girls who had a parent that did nothing. His actions in acowar were noble, but they don’t erase his failures. That all of this was glossed over disappointed me. I think this was something Nesta needed to be told explicitly by both her sisters. She had things to apologize for and feel guilt for, but she was not the one who should have protected Feyre. All three of them should have been protected by their father.

 The Inner Circle

It’s kind of funny to me how blind they all are about each other. I don’t even know what else to say about their dysfunction.

Amren’s sudden desire for Rhys to become High King was weird, and though I should know better, I still really hope the series doesn’t end that way. The IC tends to have good intentions about things, but I don’t think they know how to handle a problem without some kind of force. And controlling all the other courts is not something that would happen easily, especially with perceived allies.

Amren and Mor thinking Nesta belonged or should be sent to the Court of Nightmares was a spectacularly shitty take. The lack of awareness and acknowledgement that Nesta was suffering from multiple traumas was just … unbelievable.

But considering how much this group does not see about each other, I guess it’s not a surprise. I don’t know how much is willful ignorance or just really, really poor people skills. I understand how this all makes for good angst and drama, I really do. But I’m just at the point where it’s grating. They need to sit the fuck down and talk to each other. It’s been five hundred years for fucks sake. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Rhys

Okay. I liked Rhys in acotar and acomaf. But the sparkly exterior wore off big time for me in acowar and acofas. I honestly could have done without him in this book. But I wasn’t foolish enough to expect him to not be in it. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that SJM has her favorites and Rhys is at the top of the list.

Having said that, he annoyed the shit out of me in this book. Someone really needs to explain to him that a choice between two awful things, one of which might be deadly, is not really a choice. I don’t have the energy for it, but better writers than me could write a thesis on the illusion of choice in these books. Which is, in my opinion, pretty clearly tied to the brand of feminism presented.

Not only is the choice given to Nesta at the beginning not a choice, Rhys doesn’t seem to consider Elain at all in his argument with Az. All other issues with that bonus chapter aside, he saw them. He saw the mutual attraction and consent. What happened to not forcing females to accept the mating bond? What happened to respecting her choice and autonomy? I considered the possibility that maybe since he knows Az, there’s a reason he thinks they wouldn’t work. But then, that pretty much flies out the window by him asking Az about Mor. Sure, Az is still hung up on Mor, but she is pretty fucking clear about her opinion.

The whole thing about not telling Feyre about the risky childbirth was awful. And not that I would expect it to happen, but not even mentioning abortion as an option was frustrating. That plot line was not good in any way. There were plenty of other things that could have gone wrong with the birth to push Nesta to act at the end. To be honest, the feysand dynamic is not great. While I appreciated her standing up to him about Nesta and other things, he very deliberately uses sex as a distraction to get out of arguments. Yet another way he never really seems to suffer consequences of bad behavior.  

I will say I was really glad he got the opportunity to experience the full trauma of what Nesta went through. And my petty ass loved him kneeling before her at the end!

Miscellaneous

Where was Illyria?? My one serious expectation for this book was that we’d learn more about Illyria and deal with the revolution that was hyped up in acofas. To be written off in one paragraph was disappointing. It makes me think that if we are to ever get more details about the Illyrians, it might be in Az’s story. It was mentioned a few times that he hates them (with good reason) and would wipe them off the map if it was up to him. So I’m guessing his arc will require him coming to terms with that.

Elriel-Elucien-Gwynriel

I’ve never been super invested in this story line but I admit I’ve leaned more towards Elriel in the past. Partly because I like some of the complementary symbolism associated with them, but mostly because I’d really like to see a story about rejection of the mating bond. Even with the extra chapters, I feel like we still don’t know much of anything about who Elain truly is. And the same can be said of Az. So, those chapters didn’t sway me that much. With the exception of Az interacting with Gwyn. I agree with a lot of others saying Az has a lot of work to do on himself before he can be with anyone. I think Elain and Gwyn also have a lot of healing to do. SJM can take this in so many directions that I just don’t know what to think.

I will say that originally I was expecting the next book to involve a love square of Elain, Az, Lucien, and Vassa, because I did see a connection between the last two. But now … Was Lucien annoyed by Jurian and Vassa because he’s jealous? Just annoyed? I don’t know. I still think Vassa will be in the next books if only because of Koschei. But I’m not so sure about her involvement with Lucien. I think we’ve got enough people in this love polygon lol! Jesus, what a mess. But maximum angst 😂

[brattyfics]

A fluffy one pretty please with EZ: "Hey pretty girl, do you come here often?" "Well, I live here so I think I have to say yes" but plot twist, they are married ;D and the best power couple in the world

Summary: "Hey pretty girl, do you come here often?" "Well, I live here so I think I have to say yes"; Angst: "If you don't hold me/hug me right now, I think I might fall apart" paired with top of head kisses and just gentleness EZ. Pairing: EZ Reyes x Reader Warnings: Emotionally constipated reader as always. Word count: 1K

I combined two of your prompts together to make this one. Hope you enjoy.

You stood in the center of your kitchen, chopping peppers and onions in preparation for dinner. Your children could be heard chasing each other around in the next room but you were too exhausted to bother with chastising them. As long as they didn’t hurt each other, you’d let them have their fun.

While you focused on making dinner, you unintentionally tuned them out. The last week had been beyond stressful. Without Ezekiel at home your household chores increased by tenfold. Angel, Coco, and Gilly were on the run as well so they couldn’t help out. That left you with Felipe who did the best he could while also running his shop. He allowed you to drop the kids off with him for a little while at the shop one night, but other than that, they were with you all week long. To make matters worse, they had after school activities that had you running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

The pot sizzled as your veggies sauteed in the pan. In the distance, the rumble of EZ’s bike signaled his return. It wasn’t until you heard the kids screaming that you noticed the sound.

“Papa!”

“Papí’s home!”

“Daddy!”

They rushed to the kitchen to ask for your permission to open the door. Cued by your nod they took off, slinging it open in excitement. If you knew them like you thought, they had latched themselves onto him before he even got off his bike

The pack of hellions made their way inside; Ezekiel held a child on each hip, the biggest of the brood on his heels, little hands clenched around the chain that hung from his pants. As grumpy as you were, you couldn’t help but smile at the picture they made. Unfortunately, it didn’t meet your eyes.

EZ saw the stress all over your face the moment he laid eyes on you and wanted to lessen the tension. He put your children down to stand on their own despite their protests, swaggering into the kitchen to greet you. He wore his signature Colgate smile.

“Hey pretty girl.” You met him halfway, arms wrapping around his midsection as he leaned in for a kiss. “You come here often?” He joked when you broke the kiss, turning to stir your veggies.

You snorted. “Being that I live here, I’m afraid I have to say yes.”

“Don’t sound so excited.” He said sarcastically, dropping a kiss on top of your head. You ignored him, focusing on cooking.

EZ could tell when you were off and he definitely felt the chill of ice. Normally you were as excited to see him as the kids. He sighed before his strong hands went to work on your shoulders, slowly melting you in his embrace.

You allowed yourself to relax a little, your head falling back to rest against his chest. He planted kisses on your forehead, whispering how much he missed you.

You playfully rolled your eyes at the sound of your children giggling. You wink at them over his shoulders as you turn to hug his neck.

He kissed you again but nothing about it was sweet. Passion and pent up frustration fueled the kiss, tongues clashing as you took it out on each other.

Your kids ran off screaming how gross you both were. You broke apart, laughing at their antics.

“What are we gonna do with our kids, mami?”

You poked a finger at his chest. “The way they wore me out this week, they’re your children. You might as well call Bishop now and tell him you’re busy for the next few days. It’s my turn to disappear for a week.”

You felt bad when he frowned at your choice of words. He wasn’t a bad father by any means. In fact, when he was around he pretty much handled most things. Still, those long stretches on the road took a major toll on you.

You attempted to soothe him, stroking his goatee. “I’m sorry, papa. I don’t mean it. I’m just tired.”

“I understand, mamí.” He held you close, swaying the two of you from side to side while you tried your best to relax.

A minute later you let him go with a sigh to focus on dinner. Like the true life partner he was, he stayed with you in the kitchen, grabbing things from the cabinets as you needed them and washing the dishes as you went. The work was finished twice as quick and you couldn’t help but feel so relieved he was home.

He plated the food for the kids, setting the dinner table with their utensils and drinks. He yelled for them to come to the dining room and was helping the smallest of your pack into a chair when you entered with your own plates. You set his down and then your own, settling down into your seat for dinner.

The children excitedly chattered a mile a minute, trying to summarize their week in thirty minutes. As sweet as it all was, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed so you excused yourself.

You go to your shared bedroom, reveling in the quiet. You were resentful of EZ leaving you lonely, pissed off at Bishop keeping him away, but most of all, frustrated with yourself for folding under pressure.

The knob twisted and EZ entered, a concerned look on his face. “Mamí, what’s wrong?”

You shrug, unsure of how to explain it. You weren’t alone, you knew that, but you felt lonely at times. He approaches you, big arms spread wide in preparation for a bear hug. You wanted nothing more in the moment than to be held, but your defense mechanism of pushing people away when they get too close kicks in, and you take a step back.

“I don’t want a hug right now.” I need one though.

“Well, I do.” He grinned, not allowing you to close yourself off to him. It was one of the many things that made you fall in love with EZ. He never gave up on you. Knowing it was what you needed even though you wouldn’t say it, he spoke.

“I’ve had to go a whole week without your hugs and kisses, and now you’re acting like I have leprosy.” You didn’t move when he took his next steps forward. “If you don’t hug me right now, I might fall apart. Can you live with that on your conscience?”

You pretend to think about it, tilting your head to the side. He grabs you by the waist, tickling your sides and with an uncontrollable giggle, you finally fall into your man’s arms, allowing him to comfort you.

                                                           ♡

Taglist

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked

[kiisaes]

Bakugo Katsuki

Why I like them

honestly there’s so many things i love about bakugou but i don’t think i could even explain them properly??? he’s the most dynamic character in the series to me, and his development is handled with such care it makes me suuuper happy :’) i like how he’s very slowly but dramatically realizing his faults and that he needs to change in order to become strong, but strong in his own way instead of in the way society pushes. yes he has anger issues and is a huge pissbaby but i love him for it and it just makes him a much more entertaining character!!

Why I don’t

i hate bakugou’s personality in s1, but like,,, i’m pretty sure everyone did LOL

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

the little scene in s3 when he was all confused and he was looking around all lost, poofy blond hair floofing along,,, so cute!!!

!!! ANYWAY MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 284, 285, 286 BELOW !!!

SERIOUSLY!!! SPOILERS!!! DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!!!

when bakugou’s body “moved on its own” to protect deku and taking the life-threatening hits from shiggy....let me tell you how hard i cried I CRIED VERY HARD. oh and when he confirmed that he wants to help deku train and sees it as his atonement too. that too. tears. i felt tears. that’s called CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, BABY

!!! OK SPOILERS OVER !!!

!!!

Favorite season/movie

any season post s1 is a pro-bakugou season for me :’) and bakugou in both movies was also super cool! (though bakugou in the second movie was obviously on a whole nother level)

Favorite line

“WHY WAS I THE ONE WHO HAD TO END ALL MIGHT?” or whatever he said about all might’s retirement

also (!!! CHAPTER 286 SPOILERS !!!) “don’t go... playing... hero... by yourself...”

Favorite outfit

his winter hero outfit!!!

OTP

bakudeku jkfdkjadfkjakjf

Brotp

bakugou and kirishima

i also think bakugou and todoroki would be fucking hilarious, please give us more of these two idiots

Head Canon

bakugou is hard of hearing/deaf due to how loud his explosions are; consequently he knows sign language!

this is a popular one but he’s an incredibly talented chef (i know this came out of him literally just chopping vegetables really fast and confidently but like. wouldn’t it be funny if this angry man was a god at cooking.)

i think bakugou’s softer than he thinks he is, but he keeps overcompensating because he thinks it’s weak to feel soft emotions. but deep down he’s a big softie he just doesn’t know how to handle it so he comes off as emotionally constipated

Unpopular opinion

i think middle school bakugou gets way too much flack -- yeah he told deku to k*ll himself but 1.) he was 14-15 and all 14-15 year olds are awful and 2.) after putting his entire character development into perspective, he likely said it because he either wanted to discourage deku into becoming a hero so heavily (due to fearing that deku would get hurt if he tried since he didn’t have a quirk), he jumped to extremes, or he thought that bullying a quirkless would establish his place on the social hierarchy, something he cared really deeply about ever since he was little

i think he was still an assface and middle schoolers suck anyway but he was nonetheless pretty young; people treat him like he’s unchangable despite just being a young teen and not even experiencing the world properly yet. the entire series puts some serious focus on his development and i think s1 bakugou should be taken with a grain of salt, used as a starting point so we can overall see how much he grows throughout the story

A wish

bakugou please for the love of god, be friends with deku again. you know you want it.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

if bakugou dies i will eat my table

5 words to best describe them

strong, resolute, complicated, explosive, heroic

My nickname for them

bakubitch

explody boy

sparky sparky boom man

kacchan :)

thanks for asking!

[mccncrane]

INTRODUCING — KALANI "MERCY" AHUNA

“ I WAS EVERY WORD IN EVERY LANGUAGE, AS LONG AS IT TRANSLATED TO BLOODSHOT. ” is that JASON MOMOA? oh no, that’s KALANI “MERCY” AHUNA, born on the 15th of APRIL, 2004. i heard HE/HIM (CIS MALE) is a MOST TRUSTED of the IDAHO HUNTERS.  apparently, they can be WARM and HUMOROUS but also known to be SELFISH and UNPREDICTABLE. spends most of their free time (TERRORIZING) PRANKING THE PRISONERS FOR ENTERTAINMENT, probably smells like STRAWBERRIES AND SMOKE. is that a bite mark i see?

HISTORY: (tw for death, the usual) (me starting this: i barely have anything to say! / this in the end: probably the longest intro i have so far)

Kalani Ahuna was born under difficult circumstances. He lost his father very young, and his mother even younger, which left him to be raised by his fraternal grandparents. He never felt like he was missing out on any parental figures growing up, but there was the undeniable fact that they were much older than most parents -- Kalani always knew he wouldn't have much time with his tūpuna.

They lived in a small town in Nevada, and when the apocalypse started, they were moved into a qz on the northern area of the state. Fedra wasn't doing a great job. Kalani's grandparents were already much too old to be living in these conditions; while the quarantine zone kept them safe from the monsters roaming outside, they couldn't afford the lack of resources. Kalani was a big guy, even as a teenager, he could handle sharing his own rations with them for as long as he could, but eventually, it was too much.

By the end of 2025, their qz was a warzone in itself. Fedra was losing control and starting to abandon the area, food was almost inexistent, clean water and medicine were also hard to come by. Kalani's grandparents, now too old and fragile to continue, passed away. One after the other, barely hours apart on the same day. Kalani believes it was simply their time to go, and they went together.

He was sad, but he knew they went as peacefully as they could. And all things considered, maybe this was a better death than being torn apart by an infected. He greeted their death with grace, and decided to leave the qz. He took their bodies out with him, buried them somewhere pretty and covered them with flowers in the woods.

He roamed alone for about a year, freshly twenty-something, until he found the Idaho Hunters. They were just planning their final takeover of the city, and he proved himself a worthy ally when he helped them.

He got his nickname by talking a big talk about forgiveness and the belief of not holding onto any grudges or bad feelings, as he'd always been close to his Hawaiian culture. Someone probably jokingly said "yeah okay, Mr. Mercy" in a teasing tone, and he laughed so hard at it that it stuck. He likes it.

About ten years later, one day when he was roaming the outskirts of their town, Mercy stumbled upon a woman in danger. He felt compelled to save her, and once he did, things made sense. It was like there was a gravitational shift on the Earth itself, it felt like all of the energies in his body realigned. Meeting her changed him, immediately, even if he couldn't quite put a finger on how. They talked as if they'd known each other since forever, and he became easily convinced that their souls had been each other's companions for many centuries. It didn't feel like meeting someone knew, it felt like finding an old friend again; a reunion.

He managed to convince the Hunters to take Aylin in -- by being dramatic about it and saying they could either take her in or he'd be leaving with her, which he definitely meant. She is the absolute love of his life, they got married at some point, and he will kill and die for her, thank you.

At some point in the last couple of years, while he was outside with Aylin, they got themselves into a troubling situation with a couple of infected. Mercy is good at combat and has brute force, but he'd gotten distracted and one of the things sunk its teeth into his side. It was a gnarly bite, and the only reason he didn't lose a chunk of meat around his ribs was because Aylin managed to shove the infected off.

They sat there for a while that day, with Mercy trying to convince her to kill him before he turned, which she refused to do. It was for the best, in the end, since hours passed and he felt none of the symptoms. Hours and more hours, and he didn't even feel tired. He patched up, eventually, they went back to camp, and they kept quiet about it. After the initial shock had passed, Mercy started to believe this was not a normal bite. He wouldn't turn.

Surely enough, he's immune. He still hasn't told anyone else besides Aylin, and if anyone notices that he doesn't take his shirt off in the summer anymore, no one has said anything, either. He keeps the obnoxious scar on his side a secret -- the only thing he hides from his beloved group of Hunters.

TL;DR:

raised by his grandparents, they died of old age. he roamed around for a bit, found the idaho hunters, joined them. then he found aylin, his soulmate, his wifey, his boo. they live a chill life with the idaho hunters. he gets bit, finds out he's immune, hides it from everyone but aylin. nowadays he's out here chilling, being a most trusted and protecting his fellow hunters. as well as terrorizing some prisoners for Funsies.

PERSONALITY:

an absolute goofball idiot. he has a childish sense of humor, he likes to mess with people and he doesn't have a solid understanding of boundaries when it comes to pranks. he's your older cousin who made you cry when you were 5 because he showed you some traumatizing horror film while he laughed his ass off. probably slaps his bros' asses lovingly.

despite being painfully between chaotic neutral and chaotic evil, he is not all chaos, he's pretty emotional. he's open and honest, he's a romantic, he loves love, he wears his heart on his sleeve. he thinks there's beauty in pain and sadness, he's just very peaceful in that sense, and very in tune with his feelings. we love an emotionally stable man.

that being said he is not above slaughtering an entire village if someone hurts his loved ones 😌bc he's protective of all of his hunter family and aylin (of course), and he doesn't see anything wrong with killing people sometimes. broken moral compass energy, but like, it is the end of the world. mr mercy will still kill u if u deserve it. he will forgive your soul and then still chop your head off bby.

EXTRAS:

im not gonna make y'all read any more, i'll think of connections some other time !! if you got any ideas, yes, come give me anything !!

[sage-nebula]

Back in SU, I remember everyone always celebrated what a caring and supportive dad Greg was, and how the Gems grew close family relationships with Steven. But with these latest episodes it seems like people are turning on them. Particularly that Greg is an incompetent and irresponsible father after Mr. Universe and the Gems handled the conversation really badly in Fragments, showing that they still don’t understand human emotions (also that it’s their fault Steven has PTSD). (1/2)

Personally it makes me sad. I still love all four of them and have faith in them as Steven’s support circle. I think everybody’s just looking for someone to blame (like it’s a game, like it’s a game...). What’s your take?

My take is that I take offense on a personal level whenever anyone (including Steven) acts like Greg was a bad or unfit parent.

My biological mother was terribly abusive to me. My father was emotionally neglectful, and while my stepmother was better than him, she still contributed to the emotional abuse that I’ve just now in my adult years begun accepting that he put me through. I’ve never had a parent that was emotionally available, supportive, and openly loving unconditionally. I’ve never had parents who encouraged whatever I wanted to do, who I could go to when I needed them without fear of punishment of some kind.

So put simply, I would have killed for a parent like Greg Universe. Hell, I still would now. Greg was always there for Steven, no matter what. Steven needed someone who would be open and honest with him with no reservations? That was Greg. Steven needed someone to just chill with, eat pizza and play music with? That was Greg. Steven needed someone to make him feel like he was good enough even when he made mistakes (“if every pork chop were perfect . . .”)? That was Greg. Steven needed someone to drop everything to take him halfway around the world to investigate the place in his dreams? That was Greg, and Greg didn’t even get upset with Steven for that resulting in his own abduction into a human fucking zoo.

For all sixteen years of his life, Greg gave Steven unconditional love and support. For all that Steven has a tendency to take blame upon himself, that tendency cannot be passed onto Greg, because Greg never berated Steven or went off on him for the things he did wrong. Hell, Greg went out of his way to try to make sure that Steven didn’t feel bad for the things that happened, most of the time; when Greg had a panic attack about the attack with the hand ship, and everything that followed, he drove away after reassuring Steven until he could calm himself down enough to talk about it! No matter what Steven did, no matter what went wrong, he had assurance that he could bring it to Greg because Greg wouldn’t grow angry with him. Because Greg loved him, unconditionally. Because Greg always wanted to spend time with him, always thought he was cool, always thought his ideas were interesting. Greg was emotionally available, openly loving and supportive, 100% of the time in Steven’s life.

Does this mean that Greg is perfect, and didn’t make mistakes? No! But here’s a news flash: There is NO SUCH THING as a perfect parent, because there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect person, and parents are people. People make mistakes. Period. There is not a single person on this Earth who has never made a mistake, particularly when it comes to interacting with other people. I know a lot of people on this website (and on Twitter) don’t like accepting that, but it’s true. And as it’s true, Greg did make mistakes. Play acting like his leg wasn’t really broken to try to spend more time with Steven was a mistake (and was the one time Greg made Steven feel as if his powers weren’t up to snuff / not good enough). Arguably not enrolling him in school was a mistake, although given how Steven behaved like he was eight when he was fourteen, I think he probably would have been bullied mercilessly by most peers his age and so that was probably a good call on Greg’s part. Not taking him to the doctor wasn’t a mistake, if only because Steven is half-gem and thus a.) probably didn’t get sick and/or need vaccinations the way a full human would, and b.) Greg had no idea how much of Steven’s biology was gem and how much was human, and probably didn’t want to run the risk of having him taken away by government officials to be experimented on given that he was half-alien. Even so, I understand why humans balk at that. They see Steven as a fully human child, even though he absolutely is not.

The point is: Yes, Greg made mistakes sometimes. But Greg was loving and supportive and always made sure Steven was provided for. Steven complains that he lived in a van, but we know for a fact that once he was old enough to form memories, he actually lived in a beautiful house on the beach. Greg lived in a van, but always nearby enough so that he could be there if Steven needed him (without stepping on the toes of Pearl, with whom he didn’t have a good relationship given the whole Rose debacle). Even though Greg wasn’t in the house, he knew the Gems would be able to look after Steven. He made sure that Steven was as safe as he could be, given that the threat of war with Steven at the center was always on the horizon, and provided for in every way (shelter, food, love, support). Setting aside Steven’s complex over his gem powers and his demands to be a Crystal Gem (which, let’s be honest, had Greg forced Steven to go to school, Steven would have been angry that it took away from his chances at gem missions, and you know he would, if you remember how bratty he was about it at the start of the series), Steven had pretty high self-esteem for a kid of fourteen, in that he never felt embarrassed or awkward about the things he liked or how he presented himself at all. And who do we have to thank for that, do you think?

I’ve had parents who were abusive or neglectful. I’ve been dragged by my hair and thrown into walls. I’ve been near hospitalized for being underweight because there was so little food. I’ve been told I was lazy and making up bullshit excuses when I tried to explain how depressed I was, and then put under lockdown an entire summer for it. I’ve had my interests criticized and mocked by my parents, I’ve been shooed away when I’ve tried to talk to them, I’ve been belittled and demoralized and I’ve put myself through stomach ulcers and breakdowns trying to find any solution to problems I have before I have to go to them, because I don’t want more lectures and have it brought up again and again years later. I know what it is to have abusive, neglectful, and all around bad parents---parents who will do all of the above, and then still find a way to say that it was either my fault, or good for me somehow. And Greg Universe? Is not that type of parent. At all. Not even close.

So basically, my take is that people who want to condemn Greg can shut the fuck up, at least when they’re around me. My take is that even though Steven has PTSD and is going through a lot, him screaming at Greg that it’s Greg’s fault that he’s like this for loving and supporting him all these years was him acting like a spoiled, ungrateful brat. Because I would have given anything to have a parent like Greg Universe. As someone with C-PTSD from childhood trauma and abuse, I’d trade spots with Steven any fucking day. And trust me, he wouldn’t like it.

[cela-astral-projection]

I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

18+ under the cut, I guess. Nothing really happens. An abundance of caution. 

Muriel pushed the door open from the bedroom, still exhausted. It was evening, and he'd been in and out of sleep most of the day. Demanding solitude.

He would do this from time to time. Asra and Celeste took turns, being close at hand, but allowing him his space. This had been a particularly rough patch. They were patient with him. They didn't demand anything. They were simply available to him, willing to cater to his every whim. He just wouldn't ask for anything, buried deep in himself.

Generally, these spells would last a few days. But this was going on far longer than usual, and it had taken a turn towards the frightening. He looked gaunt. Paler. Sickly. On such a big man, it was very striking. He barely ate, and when he did, it was simply fistfuls of the candies and sweets he managed to grab and hide in the darkened bedroom, leaving a rat's nest of jewel-toned wrapping wadded up on the bedside table.

Asra had dealings in town that he simply could not put off another day, so she had been left in charge. It was a simple enough task if emotionally taxing, seeing the one they loved in such pain.

She kept herself busy, cleaning, cooking, keeping Inanna occupied so she didn't tear the bedroom door apart trying to get to him. Feeding the chickens. Hell, she'd even chopped wood, which was a task that usually sent Asra and Muriel running from the house after her, not entirely confident in her abilities to wield a giant ax, to her annoyance. She had managed to get away unscathed, she was proud to say.

The Muriel situation had come to a point where simply letting him be was untenable. She had to try something, but it had to be subtle enough to not spook him. Like coaxing a stray cat with cream.

She sat at the dinner table, alone, reading. She knew how to build one hell of a fire, that was for certain. She hadn't quite figured out moderation when it came to that. The room was much too warm, so she had opened a window, cool air pouring in to even out the intense heat from the fireplace.

At Muriel's seat, there was a large bowl, steaming. A thick piece of bread on a plate at its side.  In the center of the table, a beautiful golden pie, with deep red juices seeping out from cracks in the flaky crust. His stomach growled.

She looked up at him over the top of her book, smiling.

"It's hot." He said, low, eyes fixed on the pie. He was salivating.

"I know. Sorry. It's better over here by the window." She replied, quiet. "Come sit with me. I'm lonely."

He sighed, torn. He just wanted to go back to bed. But he was so, very hungry. "I'm...just tired." He did start across the room. Short, cautious steps.

"I know you are," she said, with a nod. Her eyes were soft, as was her tone.  She closed her book and laid it down. "I made dinner for you."

It smelled incredible. Everything. The yeasty, sweet-smelling fresh bread. The rich, garlicky, herbaceous broth in the bowl. The scents were overwhelming. He hadn't felt such hunger pangs since he was small.

But, his attention was fully on the dessert. He was a sucker for anything sweet. She knew some of it was that the sugar gave him temporary relief. Comfort. But it didn't last. It wasn't sustainable. He would ride the high for an hour or so, especially now that he wasn't eating normally, then crash.

"I'll...just take a slice of that and go back to bed." He said, short, moving to the cupboard to grab a plate.

"Oh...no, sorry. It's still cooling. I got started on it late. It's still too hot. I want it to cut well." she replied, standing. Apologetic. "Please, you can have as much as you want once it's good and cool. You'll like it better, I promise. I spent all that time pitting the cherries...I just want it to be right."

He pulled a face. "How long?"

"It's hard to say. It's really warm in here. If I move it to the windowsill, maybe an hour or so? Can you wait that long?" She leaned across the table to collect the pie plate. She was wearing a sheer, loose tunic. When she bent, he could see straight down her shirt. Heavy breasts hanging. She looked up at him, biting her lip.

"I'll...wait." he nodded, swallowing hard. He was starving. Absolutely famished. In more ways than one.

She collected the plate and righted herself, crossing to the window and making sure the plate was seated securely. Her bargaining chip. It seemed to be working.

He sat heavily in his chair, hands folded between his knees, not looking at her. She watched him for a long moment. Come on. Eat it. Her mind pleaded, trying to reach him. But, he didn’t move. 

She sighed, and grabbed her chair, pulling it around to his side of the table, sitting in front of him. He straightened and turned, startling. She caught his wrist. "You're tired. Let me take care of you, okay?" she pleaded, staring straight in his eyes. Not a suggestion. A requirement.

He tensed. "I don't need you to take care of me," he said, pressing his lips into a line.

"I need to take care of you. It's my problem...Indulge me." she countered, squeezing his wrist affectionately before releasing it, the corner of her mouth turning up.

He huffed. "Celeste..." he whispered, frustrated, exhausted. Too tired to argue.

She turned to the table and picked up a spoon, dipping it into the soup. She had taken care that it would be nourishing, but not too rich. She wasn't sure if he could handle anything too heavy at this point. More flavor than substance. She brought the spoon to her lips and blew cool breath across the surface, and then to his mouth.

He didn't open his lips. An eyebrow raised, annoyed. She mirrored his face, not relenting. He rolled his eyes and allowed her to proceed, and she pushed the spoon in.

His eyes fluttered closed, and he relaxed. It was warm, smooth. Coating his tongue.  Bone broth, butter, vegetables, garlic, herbs. It was creamy, fatty, but still thin. It flowed down his throat.

"Is it okay?" she asked, studying his face.

He made a quiet noise of approval. "Everything you make is good," he said after a moment.

She took another spoonful and repeated the process. He took it, a bit more eager. She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm glad you like it."

They sat like that for a long while, until the bowl was mostly drained. They went slow, her constantly checking in. Making sure that it wasn't too much, too soon.

She broke the bread in her hands and raked it through the liquid that clung to the bowl, bringing small bites to his lips. She ran one hand over his stomach, soothing circles.

When the food was gone, he opened his eyes. Celeste, smiling up at him.

"Is there more?" He said, looking over at the empty bowl.

"If you want it, of course." She said, sweet.

"What about you?" he asked. Another of his hangups. Scarcity. The illusion that there wasn't enough. From years of there not being enough. For making sure that Asra was taken care of before himself. The days when his stomach felt like it was eating itself. Stolen food. Threats on all sides. Food as payment for services rendered.

"There is enough. There will always be enough," She said, raising her hand to cup his cheek in her hand, running her thumb back and forth, looking in his eyes. "Asra is coming home with more food in the morning. Take whatever you need. There will always be more."

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Celeste's, breathing deeply.

She ran her hand into his hair. It was lank, greasy. Too long. She had always liked long hair on him, but as Asra had once told her, equally disappointed, "He looks like the Scourge of the South. He doesn't like letting his hair get that long anymore. Too bad for us...It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?"

He smelled musty. Like old sweat. It was a smell that came often on her impoverished patients. Those suffering from mental illnesses. Unwashed. Stale. She hated it on him. But, her face didn't betray her. Years of training had hardened her against that. There was no excuse to make someone feel less than, or unclean.

She kissed him. Soft, sweet. Unafraid. He pressed his lip against hers. Still weak. Still tired.

He wanted her. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to eat.

After a while of sitting quietly, she moved to stand, preparing him another bowl. She sat it on the table, then leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Eat this for me. I need to boil some water and change the bed."

He nodded, turning towards his meal, eating in silence. She set to her task, putting on a pot to boil, then going to the bedroom, looking over her shoulder when she got to the door, biting her lip. He still worried her, but at least it was some progress.

She made quick work of the bedroom, stripping the bed, throwing a couple clean blankets down. She cast a spell to dispel the gloom and grime that clung to every surface. She cleared away the discarded trash that he left on the bedside tables and gave everything a once over. She looked around. This felt better. Cleaner.  Good enough. She could do more, later. She grabbed the washbasin from the dresser, and a soft cloth and fragrant, luxurious soap. A gift from Nadia.

When she returned, the water was steaming on the stove. Muriel was still eating. Taking slow bites.

She ladled water into the washbasin. She dipped her elbow into the water. It was quite hot, but he ran hot, and she was nearly immune to the heat herself, having had to scrub with it so often in medical practice.  She lifted the basin, and made to place it on the table, in arms reach, but out of Muriel's way. She ran her finger along the rim, enchanting it to stay warm.

"I'm going to clean you up a bit if that's okay? You can take a bath later if you want. I think this will help you feel a little better in the meantime."

He stopped for a moment, contemplating. He really didn't want to be fussed over, but...he knew she wasn't wrong. He nodded, silent.

She dipped the cloth into the water and wrung it out. She put the bar of soap into the bundle of cloth, massaging it until it frothed. Cedar. Sweet Citrus. Eucalyptus.  Good job, Nadia.  

Celeste moved behind him, brushing his hair over his shoulder. The cloth was brushed lightly over the back of his neck, his shoulders. Gentle pressure. He moaned a bit. It felt incredible. Warmth pricking at his skin, followed by a cool breeze across the damp trails left behind. He was hunched over his bowl. Never one for excellent posture on his best day. It made for easier work tonight. She worked diligently.

Even now, like this, he was magnificent. Powerful.

She remembered the first time she recalled...running into him, outside the shop. With his curse, it was a hazy memory at best, but she did remember something. Him, all mystery and darkness, delivering an ominous warning. She remembered not really giving much of a damn about the warning, strange as it was. Everything then was strange, so that wasn't exactly new news.

All she knew at that moment was that she was going to climb that big tree some fine day. He was the first man, since waking up in Asra's arms three years prior, that had stirred something that voracious in her. He inspired a Volta-Esque hunger in her. She liked to blame Asra for that, teasing. Giving her half a heart that already belonged to some tall, dark, handsome stranger. She never stood a chance.

Once she had finished his back, she peered over his shoulder. His bowl was empty again, and he just sat, enjoying her ministrations. Quiet.

"Will you take off your pants? I want to get your front, too. If you want me to?" she inquired.

He took a shaky breath, color flooding his cheeks. He turned to look up at her, unsure.

She gave a quiet chuckle. "Oh, please. It's nothing I haven't seen a thousand times before. Let me do this."

He sighed and stood up, shaking his head, hands at the waist of the drawstring, soft trousers. He unknotted the tie, sliding them slowly over his hips. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, trust me. I want to. Give me an excuse to get my hands on you. I'll take it." she teased gently, watching him.

The garment fell away, leaving him exposed, and he kicked it roughly aside, going back to sit, turning the chair away from the table. He couldn't quite meet her eyes, still blushing.

She refreshed the cloth and moved to kneel in front of him. She started at his collarbone and moved down. She focused on her task, though it was...difficult. She was used to being in the position in front of him. Usually, her job was a bit different. But, until he was clean, that particular prospect was a bridge too far. Though, he did seem to be stirring a bit under her touch. She bit the inside of her mouth, not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to keep her sober.

Her hand moved to his abdomen. Each defined abdominal muscle. A line of dark hair, all trailing to his cock. Gods. This was going to be a problem. It had been a while since he’d let her get this close. She cleared her throat, her own cheeks flushing, heat pooling in her stomach. "I...think I should let you handle that. I'm going to get your dessert. It should be ready." she said, patting his thigh, then placing the cloth in his hand, pushing herself up, moving to grab a crepe spade and plate from the cabinets.

He watched her as she moved away. He could feel himself smile involuntarily. He had always had trouble accepting that she found him handsome, but after this long, he knew she did. The fact that he could be this low and still elicit that reaction from her did cheer him a bit. He turned to refresh the cloth with soap and water. He would be thorough. He didn't know what he would be able to manage. But, he promised himself, he would have her tonight, in some capacity or another.

She moved the pie to the countertop and cut in. It had cooled and the juices had set. The flaking crust crunched and splintered as she moved the wedge through. She breathed a purely Epicurean sigh. It sliced cleanly. No gapping between the crust and fruit. The sweet fluid did drip, viscous. Exactly what she wanted. She said a silent prayer of thanks. They didn't always turn out this perfect.

She plated the slice and took a moment to admire it, before picking it up, grabbing a fork, and moving to the sitting area. She took a seat on the pile of furs on the far side of the room. Muriel's preferred place.

He watched her as she went, finishing his task. He tossed the rag in the bowl of water and stood, following after her. He stood over her, glistening in the firelight. "That's mine, right?" He said, jerking his chin towards the plate in her hand.

She smiled up at him, tilting her head to the place beside her. "I think you've earned it."

He climbed onto the pile, lounging at her side. He made to take the plate from her, but she pulled back. He furrowed his brow, confused. She sliced through the pie with the fork and brought it to his lips. He huffed a bit. "Really?" he said, incredulous.

"Mmm-hmm. Grant me this one last indulgence. Then, I'll stop infantilizing you and treat you like the man you are. Promise." She winked.

He opened his mouth, and she placed the bite on his tongue. His eyes closed and his head lolled back, groaning. The crust was delicate, airy, with a crackle. It nearly melted in his mouth. He could taste the butter. The filling rode the line of being almost cloying, honeyed, but that was cut through by the tart freshness of the cherries and a hint of orange. He chewed, slow. When he swallowed, he swore. "Oh, fuck me."

"I will, but you have to tell me what you think of the pie first."

[myheroaizawashota]

“Aizawa handling seeing Mic for the first time since being revealed as the U.A traitor.”

[Ive been thinking about writing something like this for a while now, but after seeing these two (http://vm.tiktok.com/dNCBgb/) bring this idea to life i couldn’t help but sit myself down, cry for a minute, and then FINALLY write it. I know this is a bit different than we’re used to on this blog, but bare with me here. This is an Aizawa x Traitor!Mic one shot, so sorry to disappoint those of you who don’t ship it or don’t believe in Traitor Mic ooooor are only here for my teacher trio x reader content! I promise you that content will be continued after this!]

[PS to Lizzie and Jordyn: I am SO SORRY that this has taken substantially long :) fun fact I’ve restarted this fiction uh about 4 times, because I couldn’t solidly figure out how to open the fiction. I didn’t forget about it, nor was I promising you false dreams here haha I’m just absolute booty when it comes to openers. Hope you enjoy.]

[photo credit to the amazing artist @ask-hizashi-and-shouta]

A flash of dulling lumincent light crawled out from the underside of the local night market’s weathered canopy, it’s haze contouring along the right side of the clinical erasure pro’s face as his feet seemed to aimlessly carry him back towards the solitary isolation of his haunted home. These days the underground hero blew through the streets in a desperate attempt to avoid the memories that tainted the walls of his living space. He could remember a time when being in the comfort of his own company was the envy of his dreams, but now he did just about anything he could to avoid being alone with his own thoughts. The down pours of tonight’s abysmal sky hardly phases the man as heaven’s tears began to soak through the bangs of Shouta’s rich raven hair. After the week he’d had a few droplets of moisture condensed from the atmosphere did little to cause a reaction from him. If he was being entirely honest he couldn’t feel a damn thing, both emotionally and physically. His body had began to grow numb to the world around him as his mind shifted to disconnect from the unwanted reality he had been presented.

As thunder crackled through the ghostly alley of the eerily quiet market the hero began to show a slight urgency in his pacing. While he wasn’t afraid of the sound, he knew logically being caught in a storm like this wouldn’t be a genuinely smart thing. Moving with slightly more purpose, the man couldn’t help but grow distracted as his eyes caught the top headline of the news stand just in the edge of his view, “Present Mic: The Famed U.A Traitor Still At Large, Authorities Have No Leads.”

Clenching his jaw he turned his head away from the article, constricting his fingers around the thick plastic handle of the bag he carried, the sudden force causing the top of his knuckles to fade white. He knew it was irrational to care and hurt the way he did, but that didn’t stop his emotions from betraying his mind. Pushing past the feelings the clawed to free themselves from both his tired eyes and heavy chest, Aizawa finally arrived home. Haphazardly he dropped the bag right where he stood just inches inside his front door, he not caring about the safety of his items. It was just pantry goods anyway, things he kept for when...company came. Christ, he didn’t even know why he still was continuing to buy these crap snacks, something in him just compelled him to grab them. It wasn’t like they’d be eaten. Factually Shouta never cared for sweets, so the likelyhood they’d be consumed by him was slim. Drenched and dripping, he uncomfortably made his way through the house heading for his bedroom. Not making it more than two footsteps, an unease began to grow inside the typically steady pro. With the sound of a faint thud coming from the room he’d been inbound too, his hands constricted around the damp scarf that clung to his neck, he approaching with caution. Great, a break in was the last thing he needed right now. With the same stealth and swiftness he was known for in his work, he deployed his weapon, the fabric of it tightening as it made contact with a body. “You must either be really stupid or have a death wish to intrude her-“ he couldn’t help but pause as shock rushed his body. Stood in front of him were a set of painfully fimiliar green eyes and a smile that killed him to see. While his apprerance had been altered drastically, the long blonde locks the other sported now dyed and chopped, he was still recognizable to the Eraser hero. Uncontrollably his lip began to quiver, teeth digging into his tongue as he pressed it roughly to the inside of his cheek. Releasing the weapons hold, he turned his back to the fimiliar stranger, aggressively rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands. “You’re an idiot. Why are you here?”

“I had no where else to go...” came the response. It was quiet and almost defeated, and while sensibly Aizawa knew he shouldn’t have cared....he did.

Not responding to the traitor behind him, his body instinctively began to close off to the other. His arms moved to cross over his chest as he stood distanced both spiritually and physically. It was a subtitle change in the mans body language, but Hizashi could see it. After sixteen years with the stoic man he’d finally began to pick up on the minute tells the other let off on the rare occasions he let himself display his emotions. While it wasn’t something most people would take notice too, Hizashi did. It was evident to him the man was hurt. “Come on, don’t do this. Please just talk to me...” The tone of the once admired voice hero sounded nearly as broken as his counter part felt.

As if some nerve had been struck inside the shorter of the two men, Shoutas body spun to face Hizashi his fist wrapping around the fabric of his shirt. What nerve did the other have to think he could just break in and act like nothing even happened. “Don’t....don’t you walk back into my life and pretend like this is okay. It’s not okay! None of this, is okay.”

The former blonde was taken back by the harsh emotion filled outburst his ex lover, ex friend, and ex confidant had displayed. For Shouta to express himself like this, it must of been bad. “Just...calm down...listen to me alright? I never meant to hurt you.”

An audiable laugh came from the typically reclused ravenette. “As if you’ve been truthful with me up until this point. I trusted you....I let you in when I should have kept you at an arms length like I do everyone else. Tell me exactly why I should believe a single thing you say to me. Out of the sixteen years I’ve spent with you how much of it was lies.” He hissed hand moving to press the others body harshly into the wall “out of sixteen years, how long have you been pretending to be my friend, to care about me!”

“I never pretended....I’ve always cared about you Shouta. Everything I’ve ever said to you about how I feel has been one hundred percent! Everything I have ever done has been to protect you alright!” Tears began to form in Hizashi’s eyes as his hand moved to rest against his friends, he working to loosen the other’s grip. “I don’t care if you wanna believe me or not okay? That’s your burden to carry, but I know that every time I ever looked you in the eyes and told you how much I loved you, alright that was real! Every time I ever smiled or laughed, or told you that you meant the world to me, that was real! I didn’t take this traitor gig to hurt you alright, I did it to protect you!”

“Protect me, oh that’s laughable!” Shouta let his hands drop the others body, the tears he’d been fighting back for a week now starting to bubble to the surface as his finger tips moved to trace over the scar under his eye “this? This was protecting me? Do you have any idea how idiotic and illogical you sound right now!”

Hizashi turned his gaze away from the others face, it riddled him with guilt to look at the thick scar the other wore. “I was promised you weren’t going to get hurt....you’re not the only one who was lied too....” gently rubbing his hands over his face, the no longer boisterous voice hero gave a groan. “They only wanted All Might. I was just suppose to tell them where and when to find him. Information in exchange for yours and the kids safety. That’s all it was suppose to be. I wasn’t banking on All Might powering down before the trip even started, okay? How was I suppose to know the guy was gonna be a no show and they’d go after you and the kids Shouta!”

“Because they are villains Hizashi! They were villains and you just bent right into their will! What did they have on you that was so incriminating that you would trust them you idiotic loud mouthed -“

“You! They had you...” hizashis voice was abrupt, a small crack to its tone as he spoke. Casting his eyes to the floor his lips twitched from side to side, as he tugged at his collar. “Call me idiotic or irrational or whatever else you’d say typically say to me....but these guys aren’t the local band, they’re the headliners in this rock show and they are some seriously terrifying cats!”

Shouta couldn’t stand to listen to the other any longer, his fist clenching at his side. Even if there was a truth to anything the former pro had to say, it infuriated Aizawa that the other thought this was a battle he needed to fight alone. Knowing if he stayed in the same room any longer with the painfully recognizable face in front of him, he was bound to make a move he’d immediately regret. Turning his back, he clenched his jaw exited the room. Against his better judgment, the irrationality of his emotions kicked in. He could feel his eyes sting with aggravation and sorrow, his chest weighted and tight. “You can stay for tonight. So help me, you better be gone come morning Hizashi, or else.”

With no more left to say to the other, Shouta blew his way from the bedroom slamming the door behind him. The moment he was out of view of the other, the tears aggressively poured from his eyes, all the hurt, all the anger, everything he’d been feeling for a week finally coming to a boil. He knew it was ludicrous to let the other stay here, and he knew he’d come to regret that choice at a later time, but what was he suppose to do. He still loved that idiot. Traitor or not, you can’t erase sixteen years of memories, no matter how badly he wished he could. Desperate to put this day to rest, Shouta threw the emotionally drained husk that was his body aggressively to his couch. Forcing his eyes shut he tried to forget the aching pain in his chest, the feeling making his body feel anxious and heavy. He could feel the overwhelming rush of emotions as he bit his tongue fighting back more tears. He refused to cry, it was unreasonable to shed tears for someone who could care less about him. With his face buried into the back of the couch, the typically stoic and impassive man finally fell to sleep.

When morning came, the overly tired and uncharacteristically emotional hero gave a groan. Sleeping on the couch may have been the biggest mistake of his life. While it was comfortable for sitting, hed forgotten how uncomfortable it was to sleep on. Retrospectively it was hitting him that he should have kicked his former lover onto the couch instead but, he guessed that’s what happens when you let your judgements cloud with emotions. Dreading the walk towards the bedroom, his heart rate escalated as he touched his hand to the door. Some masochistically dejected part of him almost hoped the other was still behind the door despite his warnings last night. He knew it would just bring him more pain and anguish to see him, but he couldn’t help it. The pain was better then going back to the feeling if nothing. Slowly letting his hand pry the door open, his heart sank to find an empty room, the window wide open. He knew he shouldn’t feel dispondent from the sight of the empty room, but he was. Cautiously entering the area with his guard still heavily held, he made his way towards the center of the room. As he glanced around to assure the other wasn’t hidden, his eyes became distracted as they caught on a folded white piece of paper. Reaching out with unsteady hands, Shouta let his fingers trace around the edge of the paper. He could feel the way the tension churned at his stomach, pitting every emotion he never imagined he’d feel in his gut. Tired dark eyes locked on the sloppy handwriting scrawled across the page, truly hizashis hand writing was abysmal. He unraveled the folds to reveal a winded letter laying behind them.

-

Shouta,

Seeing as you wouldn’t listen last night, i wrote this all down for you. I know the chances you’ll read this are slim. I know you’re furious with me, and I can’t say that I blame you. I wouldn’t be shocked if you threw this letter out and forgot about me all together, but I can’t leave knowing things are the way they are. You deserve to know as much of the truth as I can tell you, which isn’t really much. Just know, i promise this was all to protect you. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes at that, but it’s the truth. I wouldn’t have given up being able to see you every single day if I didn’t have a cause. I’d rather live my life miserable and distanced from you knowing you’re alive than have to live with the fact you’re dead because i tried to fight these guys. Just know, that even if you stop loving me it’s okay, I’ll never hold it against you. Even if it’s not with me I want to know you’re happy and safe. You asked me last night how long I’ve been lying for. It’s only been for the last year that I’ve been keeping secrets, but never once did i pretend to be you’re friend or your lover. Every moment of our love was genuine, a hundred percent baby. Every smile I gave you was palpable, every laugh was legitimate, and every kiss authentic. If you believe me about nothing else, I’m begging, please believe that every time I said I loved you I meant it. Every single last time. I still love you, and I won’t ever stop. I miss you, seeing you last night made me realize a lot of things. One of the most important ones being that i should have came to you and let you know what was happening, but I thought i was doing the right thing trying to protect you. I’m sorry that I was a giant idiot babe and screwed things up for the both of us. Please take care of yourself. Since I’m not there to nag you anymore babe, shower daily. Don’t forget to feed yourself, and sauce packets aren’t a meal! I love you three thousand baby, and I promise you that’s the god honest truth. Catch you on the flip side Eraser.

Hizashi

-

Tears ran down Aizawas face as his fingers dug into the corners of the paper, his body shaking with sobs. Stood with the note in his hands, salt water blinding his vision, the erasure champion couldn’t help but kick himself. He wished he could have heard these words for himself last night, but he was to stubbornly idiotic for his own good sometimes. Pressing the ball of his palm to his right eye, the other continued on to read the small blurb at the bottom of the note. That idiot would leave a post scriptum after writing such a heartfelt note. It was probably something ridiculous and childish.

-

P.S

I left something in the closet for you. Hold onto it for me. Im gonna need it back one day, and I know it’ll be safe with you.

-

Shoutas heart stopped, his body hardly even hesitating to fly to his closet. Yanking the door open, he froze to see the other mans hero costume, complete with directional speaker set up in the safety of his closet. He didn’t know what intentions the other planned to act on, but he knew three things. One, this was not going to be the last time he ever saw Hizashi. Two, that man intended to clear his name. Three, Shouta wasn’t sure how, but he was going to make sure he was there to help. As much as it pained him, he believed Hizashi. Uncaring of the consequences the underground hero set off in search for his friend. If he knew his lover, which he did, the man had a half baked idea that would probably get him killed....and there was no way Shouta would let him do it alone. Gathering both his and Hizashi’s equipment, the man headed out leaving everything he knew behind. Love was irrational and for once, Shouta was fine knowing that. He’d rather be seen as a traitor, aiding and abetting the other, then live in a world without him. Even after the monumental betrayal of the other, he still trusted him.

[shi-daisy]

I've noticed that you're not very fond of Renji or the Kuchiki characters in general. Can I ask why? (No offense, just curious)

No offense here, anon. I'm more than happy to answer.

I'll start with Rukia since she's the easiest to explain. Rukia was one of my favorite characters up until the Hueco Mundo Arc. You see at first she was a dynamic girl, a little helpless but that was understandable since she had no powers, she was funny, kind and I really felt for her during the first arcs. Then Kubo just replaced her with another character. Rukia got more closed off, agressive, punch happy and tried to make Ichigo apologize about something that wasn't his fault. I didn't hate her, as she still had some of her best traits but this shift made her go from one of my faves to a neutral character. Worst off it's when she marries Renji after he left her for years and almost slashed her to bits, and the novel, oh that damn post canon novel gave me rabies. She's embarrassed by being called Abarai? I could buy this from Orihime, or Momo, hell I'd even buy it from Riruka, but Rukia? No, that's not her. Instead of forgiving Byakuya and Renji in a heartbeat, Rukia's character would've been better off if she told them both to sit on a prickly cactus and stay the hell away from her, then left with Ichigo and Co. to the human world at the end of the Rescue arc. Instead she forgives those two, who have been nothing but shitty to her and takes to hero worshipping Byakuya. No, that's the worst thing she could've done and to top it off she marries one of them and has his kid. That dude hit you once and you not only marry him but have his kid?! Gurl, that literally begging for trouble right there. I just felt disgusted with the way Kubo handled Rukia. I don't hate her but I don't love her as much as everyone else in the fandom does.

Renji And Byakuya though? Those two I absolutely despise.

During the first arc these two come to the human world to arrest Rukia, who need I remind you was completely powerless, and what's the first thing Renji does? Swing a goddamn sword at her. He literally just tried to slash her with his sword. Does Byakuya interfiere? Tells him to maybe tone it down a bit? Nope, he does fucking nothing. Renji keeps trying to hit her, with a grin on his face, and later on even chokes her. It's not until Uryu, who's a freaking Quincy, steps in that the whole aggression stops.

I know people defend this with 'oh Kubo meant for them to seem as villians at the time' but I think you can't come back from trying to slash your bestie/future wife or from letting my sister be slashed to bits.

But ok, if it was just that, I'd be willing to let it slide so as long as the two apologize and Rukia gave em a 'reason you suck speech' or something similar. Well next time we see Renji he's taunting Rukia in prison. He backs out and says it's a joke later but it was still scumy of him to do that. During that same scene Rukia says she knows she'll get killed and pinnapple dumbass tells her Byakuya would intervine, but she shoots him down by saying that he'd likely just kill her himself and has never once cared for her from the moment he adopted her. Like, what? This asshat hasn't even looked her in the eye in 40 years? I know in shinigami time that's like 4 years maybe but it's still a long time to be emotionality neglected.

After his fight with Ichigo we get Renji And Rukia's backstory and instead of growing sympathetic towards him, I hated him more. So he and Rukia grow up together with some friends in the poorest place in Soul Society, and after their friends death they join the academy to get better housing and food. That's good so far, only the two are separate because Renji has more potential and Rukia is average at best. He gets new friends and keeps moving forward. Rukia was alone and stuck. Sad but ok maybe they'll make up after graduation. Nope, because the Kuchiki clan wants to adopt Rukia, remove her from the academy and now she'll live as a Noble. It's clear in that scene that Rukia does not want this, that she'll take any excuse to not accept, does Renji tell her to stay with him, or to choose what she wants? Of course not, the idiot congratulates her, makes a light-hearted joke about it and then sulks when Rukia sadly thanks him and leaves. Then he suddenly decides to stay away from Rukia for... bullshit reasons. Like I get Kubo tried to paint it as a I have to stay away so the Kuchiki won't get mad at her, but Rukia didn't ask for that, she was lonely, even more so without Renji, and he didn't even attempt to communicate with her or just check in? She obviously didn't want that and he didn't either, but no, I'm apparently supposed to be heartbroken that they were speareted. Then when he sees her again, his childhood bestie, the woman he loves, his future wife and mother of his child, what happens? He tried to slash her with a sword when she was depowered. See how his backstory made the previous scene worst. Honestly I was glad he chose to help Ichigo not let Rukia get killed but damn, it shouldn't have taken this long!

After that we get the whole Renji vs Byakuya thing. Renji goes down like a chump, assists in the final battle for a bit and that's it. No apologies for the past, or for what he did when he arrested her, or the things he said to her in prison, zero apologies from Renji Abarai. This doesn't work, especially if Kubo wanted to marry these two off by the end of the series. Renji needed to apologize directly, we needed to see it play out, not just be told he did it offscreen. This left me hating Renji for the reminder of the show. He was now more friendly and even a bit of a comic relief but his first impression muddled that for me. On the Fullbringer Arc he refused to fight Jackie because a man who hits a woman is trash but... didn't you just do that to the chick you're in love with like two years prior? Did he forget? Was that an admission of guilt or something? I dunno. It felt like a last ditch attempt from Kubo to make him more likeable but to me it fell flat. By the end I was fully disinterested in Renji, wheather he lived, died, married Rukia, Byakuya, whoever the hell, I just didn't care for him at all. It did bug me that he took Uryu's spot in the final chapter cover. Uryu deserved better than Mr hypocrite taking his limelight. Renji would've been better as one off villian, Kubo should've given his backstory to another character and have them with Rukia instead. I'll never get over the fact that this dude spent his first appearance being the most unlikeable jerk, physically assaulting the woman he loves, talking shit like a cocky dumbass, almost killing two of the main characters, and taking the girl he loved to her death; only to be married to said girl in the end, with a daughter and on best terms with the people he fucked over. I ain't a fan of him.

Byakuya it's another character who I wanted to smack against the concrete, repeatedly. First appearance? Lets his lieutenant throw his sister around like a ragdoll, almost kills an innocent human, and basically acts like everyone's beneath him? Good, I already hate him. Next time we see him, he shows no emotion towards Rukia's sentence, he's still hell-bent on stopping the human squad from rescuing her, almost lets Renji die after he loses to Ichigo (honestly I was down for Renji bitting it but c'mon this dude is your employee and you don't care if he dies? Big yikes) Keeps messing up every attempt from the others to rescue Rukia. Almost kills Renji in a fight, then goes to fight Ichigo and here's where he became irredeemable for me. During his fight with Ichigo, he says he'll beat Ichigo and then kill Rukia himself. That's when I wanted Ichigo to chop him into sashimi. You can't say something like that and expect anyone to forgive you. He loses against Ichigo and at the very least honors his word to not kill Rukia. Okay then he defends Rukia from the real baddies. Nice, I still hate him. When he's being healed he tells Rukia that he adopted her because his wife was Rukia's actual sister, and he promised he'd keep Rukia safe if he ever found her.

All throughout the flashback I only felt sympathy for Hisana. Being put in the poorest place in Rukon, having to leave your baby sister to survive, marrying a guy who you love only for his family to hate you because you're not Noble, then getting terminally ill and not being able to help your lost sibling, all of that is horrible and broke my heart. More so when you realize that Byakuya didn't keep his promise to protect Rukia because it would break the law. He can stick his laws where the sun don't shine Rukia almost got killed unfairly because of him, Ichigo and his friends would've died unfairly because of him, he doesn't deserve any forgiveness. At least the dude had the spine to apologize on screen but that still just the bare minimum. I wanted to see him make up for all the shit he caused, maybe try and help change the law so a mistake like this dosen't happen again, just something productive. Well no, he's still the same cold and unlikable jerk we first met, only now he seems to treat Rukia better. This should've been a start, not the default. When he almost died in the final arc I thought it was a fitting end, he's humbled down, he apologizes to Rukia and Renji for losing, he leaves everything in Ichigo's hands, which mirrors how he was opposing him on the first arc but it's now fully on his side, it was the best way to salvage this unlikeable prick. But no, he dosen't die. He lives and its back to the grind again. Worst of all it's how he appears during Rukia's big fight and she uses her Bankai, he's there to mansplain and sour the fight and ugh I hated that chapter. Then he says he's proud of Rukia and it's meant to be a heartwarming moment, to me however it was vomit inducing. You're proud now? Two years ago you almost killed her! You ignored her and neglected her for decades and this is supposed to be cute?! No, his pride is worth less than dirt when he treated her this badly before. Heck if he had won back at the beginning Rukia wouldn't even be there. You almost killed her two years before, and now you're proud? Miss me with that nonsense.

The ending was especially jarring for me not just because Renji got with Rukia but also because they, along with Byakuya did nothing to fix the system that almost led to Rukia's unfair death. None of them did anything and if there's one thing I would love to see if Bleach ever got a sequel,would be Ichika yelling at the three of them for their ineptitude. They let the Sokyoku get rebuilt, they didn't do a smidge to change the system even though they're two captains and a lieutenant, and still live in prefect rich peep paradise when Rukon is still as shitty as it was when Renji and Rukia lived there.

Sorry for the long answer, I just wanted to let everything out as in most discussions people are baffled by the fact that I don't like these three characters all that much. Hope this answers your question anon!

[kinktae]

no idea if anyone has said this yet but i feel like kiri only told jk she wanted him to spite y/n and that she has no desire to get back together w him 🤭

bitchin 8 asks because i suck

spring2787 said: Pls tell me my son didn't do that to her in bitchin 8.... Ahhh.. Jeon Jungkook.. You dumb brat... 🥺

Anonymous said: You’re such an amazing writer, like damn you have SO MANY PEOPLE invested in your stories that you now have 1247294 people ganging up on jungkook and forming protection squads for y/n 🤣🤣 I’m so excited for what’s to come !!!!

Anonymous said: Ummmm.... I just binge read all of bitchin and let me tell you that it WAS LITERALLY THE BEST THING IVE EVER READ! I LOVE THE SOCIAL DYNAMICS BETWEEN YN AND JUNGKOOK AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE YARAS PERSONALITY

cheeky-kookie said: Hey bb just me dropping in to give my opinion on the Bitchin' Chapter because I havent done it yet & you know how whipped I am. JK did a big uh-oh and fucked up. Hes confused. Kiri came and it's what he wanted forever. My theory is that it probably didnt feel like what he wanted after the fact and that's why he met up with MC. ALSO, the MC is upset (understandably) but she cant blame him bc she has given him no hint that there could be something there. Overall, good chapter :) Still whipped.

Anonymous said: I "kombucha girl"-ed to y/n telling jk she would never fall for him but I've decided it's what she (bitchin!jk) deserves 😤😤

unknowntalesx said: oh my god that anon went off 😂😂 nd the other anon has a good point! he might be very confused and wanted to see if y/n had feelings but alas the dirty dickin was still dirtyyy, oh meathead, i lovE bitchin

yourdelights said: watching everyone freak out over bitchin makes me very glad that i decided to wait and read it all after it's finished. i'll still end up suffering, i'm sure, but i'll get all the suffering done in one shot. like ripping off a bandaid after wetting it first.

Anonymous said: Lmaooo I'm over here sipping on my tea, waiting for Yara to wear her black latex suit and give little Jungkook a visit.. Honey, you've got a big storm comin 🍵🍵

Anonymous said: I feel like Kiri is going to cheat on him again and THEN he'll finally have the big revelation that oc was the right girl for him all along

Anonymous said: the real question is: is kiri going to use what happened and jk “cheating” on y/n with her to hurt y/n 😶👀

yourdelights said: watching everyone freak out over bitchin makes me very glad that i decided to wait and read it all after it's finished. i'll still end up suffering, i'm sure, but i'll get all the suffering done in one shot. like ripping off a bandaid after wetting it first.

Anonymous said: Lmaooo I'm over here sipping on my tea, waiting for Yara to wear her black latex suit and give little Jungkook a visit.. Honey, you've got a big storm comin 🍵🍵

Anonymous said: I feel like Kiri is going to cheat on him again and THEN he'll finally have the big revelation that oc was the right girl for him all along

Anonymous said: the real question is: is kiri going to use what happened and jk “cheating” on y/n with her to hurt y/n 😶👀

Anonymous said: rose i really hope u know that we want to y/n to have an least a moment with taehyung in this goddamn fic called bitchin

Anonymous said: thank god we just ship y/n with tae in this house right

Anonymous said: we are going to beat jk’s ass after all that shit he did with y/n 😤 meanwhile i wanna say a very important thing: taehyung WOULD NEVER do that lmao bye

Anonymous said: Me after reading about what Jungkook did to OC in bitchin08: I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous, I don’t know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street for little bitches who don’t know how to process their feeling and need to get their shit together before a pissed off best friend come to chop their dicks off because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, and I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man

anonbebe97me said: Please, for the love of God, update Bitchin’ soon. I literally felt it so bad when he admitted what he did. My entire heart collapsed. I cannot even. Your writing is so good- I genuinely laughed during so many moments in this series and you might be my favorite writer. Seriously, I love you

Anonymous said: bitchin’ is legit the best thing ive ever read

Anonymous said: Same anon who has a (metaphorical) hole in her chest now...This fic is written so beautifully and I feel like I didn’t express that in the previous ask... it’s too good and damn why I did I have to get emotionally attached to these characters because now I’m genuinely Devo 😪 but still looking forward to what comes next (whenever it comes :))

Anonymous said: Damn chapter 8. Of bitchin’...BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. But I know your a great author so I BEG IT WORKS OUT AND THEY GET BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THERE IS A HOLE IN MY CHEST FROM THE ANGST OH MY

Anonymous said: So I was putting off Bitchin 8 for a little bit because I didn’t know if I could handle it. I don’t know why a fictional story has me so effed up, but it does. So tonight I read it and OMG now I’m all angsty and upset! Why do you do that to us? Suchhhhh a good fic and amazing writing, but whyyyyyyy must you make us feel this way. This boy needs to get his shit together and just love her already. My heart can’t take it. 🤦🏻‍♀️❤️

madjammil said: I am waiting with bated breath for part 9 of Bitchin'! Part 8 had me all distraught 😭

Anonymous said: Will Y/n fight Jungkook? 🤧😂

cuteipat said: Should I prepare tissues or not?

toomuchdaegu said: art 9 dropping on my birthday, that is very much adequate

sydney--chan said: Your new mobile theme looks really good babie 🥺🥺 I cant wait to get my heart stomped on again during bitchin' 9!!! You're the only person I'll allow to do that to me HEHE hope ur doing well luv u ❤❤❤

wallbitjch said: Bijj stop teasing us 😤😭 huuhu but thankyousomuch ok 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘💕 bitchin foreva

Anonymous said: fanservice is gonna be yara x tae i KNOW IT

Anonymous said: Fuck Jungkook. Stan Yara.

Anonymous said: YOU MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH BITCHIN' KOOKIE OMG until chap 8. 🤡 You nice keep going.

Anonymous said: so, either taeyara shit happens or y/ntae shit happens... bro lowkey kinda wanna have y/ntae just to piss jk the fuck off man like fuck u jungkook

Anonymous said: I can’t wait for this Bitchin update. You better heal my heart. After last time, I shouldn’t trust you, but I’m placing my heart in your hands once again. Don’t hurt me. Jk you’re the best. I love you.

Anonymous said: When I say I'm not ready for pt. 9 of bitchin' I mean, FUCKKKKKKKKK NO I DON'T WANNA CRY STILL CRYING OVER PT. 8 😫

Anonymous said: It's a shame to do this while i'm drunk but i just want you to know that i love you and i will probably Fall asleep when you Will post pt 9 of bitchin' but i really really love the way your posts and your writing make me smile, giggle and dmkdldldldldlldldldldl scream when theres no Word to descrinw how i feel. I love you, please, have a great night know that you maks my heart boom boom 🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜

cheeky-kookie said: I re read Bitchin' 8 and almost cried because Jungkooks heart was breaking slowly I just- Hes an idiot but he cares for MC

Anonymous said: if kiri doesn’t drop dead in this chapter imma take matters into my own hands 😡 also chop off jungkook’s dick, he doesn’t deserve it

paolaa9700 said: Don’t gonna lie, I hate you for making me wait for the new chapter of Bitching until 4am (in my country). But you think I’m gonna stay awake until that hour just for that? Well you are right cause I’m gonna freaking wait. I’m already so nervous oh my god, oh my god! I can’t put in words how nervous and happy Im 😂

Anonymous said: mskjxjsmksksdkdjndlskxjbfbjc i just read pt.8 of bitchin and eye- fuck why did you do that to me? 😭 (also i think i’m new here, but i just want to say i’ve been reading your work for almost an entire year and it never ceases to amaze me! 💗)

tinievmin said: YOUR NEW THEME IS SO CUTE OMG!!! Also, I’m so excited for bitchin’ pt 9 but I’m terRIFIED THAT ILL STILL BE MAD AT JK ))):

rebekahoofblog said: im READY for pt 9, got my reminder SET. bitchin makes me wanna draw jungkook until i pass out boutta make more fanart i love ur writing the most 💞💞have an amazing day

[verypersonalscreencaps]

An interview with Lesley Manville on World On Fire

BBC One | 24th September 2019

Lesley Manville plays Robina Chase in World On Fire.

What is it about Robina Chase that attracted you to the part? Robina is an upper middle-class woman who is widowed and is the epitome of the very posh end of Manchester. Her son Harry is her only child and he goes off to war - Robina’s story revolves around that. Harry’s father, we learn, committed suicide some time ago and she lives in a large country pile that’s a bit cold and soulless. I was drawn to play that class of woman because it’s not something I’ve had to do often before.

How do we see her evolve throughout the drama? There is something quite frozen about Robina at the beginning of the series and then you get to see this woman who melts a bit and comes to some level of understanding about herself and how she’s conducted her life. The fact that Robina is quite emotionally repressed and finds anything to do with love and being tactile quite a challenge says a lot about where she has come from. It’s partly to do with her background, partly the class she belongs to and partly her upbringing and the time period. She’s quite a closed door and nothing gets in - in fact you get the impression that nothing much has ever got in. In that respect she’s quite an interesting person to get your acting chops around.

How did you react when you first read the script? The first thing you look at when considering any part is the writing and if the writing and narrative are strong then it becomes a much easier decision to say yes and this script is wonderful. It’s beautifully written by Pete Bowker and the characters are all very specifically observed. I love the way the story dipped in and out of all these different lives. Yes of course there are the central characters, but it’s a real cocktail of stories about how this epic and tragic event affected different people in different parts of the world. It looks at what the war did to peoples’ lives on a big scale, on a very small scale and on a very personal scale. What it does to love, relationships and families.

How are we first introduced to Robina in the story? In the story we first meet Robina in her mansion, lonely, on her own. Harry has gone off to war and you get the impression that she’s not been the greatest mother in the world. It’s not that she’s an evil woman in any way, it’s just a muscle in her that she doesn’t quite know how to flex; how to be this person who gives warmth and love.

Harry comes back with Jan, a young Polish child, for her to take care of. She’s aghast - why on earth he would think she has any qualifications to look after a strange child who doesn’t speak her language is beyond her. Jan becomes a sort of challenge for her, and it's what I like about the way Peter’s written Robina: you can write her off as selfish, privileged with a blinkered view of the world - someone who only thinks upper class people are important - working-class people don’t really exist in her world - but she has a great sense of humour and is quite wicked and dry, which I liked a lot about her. The journey for her is that she discovers how to be a mother.

How does her relationship grow with Jan? In the 21st century that we live in families are not necessarily made up of biological members. Families now are about embracing children that are not your own; grandchildren that are not your own, but that was obviously not the case in the 1930s and 40s.

However, Robina actually embraces this young boy and very slowly finds herself attached to him. A whole set of feelings that she didn’t know she was capable of start to emerge and it’s very touching. You see the strange relationship she has with her own son, where, by her own admission, she’s been a terrible mother, but they have something that binds them together. They have a humour and archness with each other and sometimes that’s all it takes. Of course it’s not everything and it’s not nearly enough but it’s what binds them. I do love the way you see this woman who has been so bad at being a mother all her life begin to, through maturity, the war, loneliness, whatever find somewhere in her heart where she can open up a bit and give something to this foreign child.

What does Robina make of Harry’s choices in women? Robina thinks Harry’s choice in women is appalling, especially when you know her expectations for him are that he will marry an upper middle-class girl who knows which knives and forks to use; knows how to dress, knows how to speak properly and will be a credit to her husband.

Being in love doesn’t really matter to Robina. If he could only meet somebody who was presentable and could keep up the ridiculous game that she’s played all her life she would be reasonably pleased with that. She’s embarrassed about the manner of her husband’s death. To Robina it’s shameful and embarrassing and a good marriage for Harry would go some way to eradicating Robina’s embarrassment. However, with two women on the go, one a polish waitress (Kasia) and the other a cabaret singer (Lois), it is looking increasingly unlikely that her wish will come true.

Describe Robina’s relationship with Lois’ dad Douglas? Robina’s relationship with Douglas is at first a necessity because of the relationship between Harry and Douglas’ daughter, Lois. She thinks she can handle Douglas easily because he is a bus driver, but he disarms her with his candour and honesty. Given everything that’s happening in Robina’s world she actually opens up to Douglas and realises that he’s an intelligent man. She can see he has a tenderness and warmth that she envies in some way so we see this unusual friendship begin to develop.

Apart from when she’s with Harry we never see Robina with her own people, so it was quite tricky to get that right because there were no other upper-class characters to bounce off. But then one of the directors (Andy Wilson) gave me a great note which is that Robina is naturally upper-class because it’s in her DNA, so she would never think about how should she behave with a bus driver - she would just be Robina.

What was it like to work with Eryk, who plays the little refugee boy Jan? Eryk is quite an exceptional person, and not just as an actor but as a charming young man. He’s full of warmth and life and love and understanding and compassion. One of my early scenes with him was when she starts to see quite how vulnerable he is, how young he is and how far away from home he is. Eryk played it so brilliantly and I found him very easy to work with. It was also very easy for me to take what I felt about him as a young man and convert that to Robina’s growing sense of compassion and love for Jan.

Eryk’s instincts are quite exceptional for a young actor and there’s not a lot that you have to tell him, he understands it instinctively and you cannot teach that. You could send a child to drama school every Saturday school for ten years and they could learn all the techniques, but you could never teach a child that. He has an inherent understanding and he can tap into his heart and feelings and relay them to the actor he’s working with.

How does war change her? Robina’s perspective of the war is from a very cosy and safe position really. I mean obviously nobody was safe, but she is relatively cosy and safe. You could say she is experiencing the war through Jan, and strangely, she seems to care more about him than the fact her son is on the front line. You will see him arriving back and she’s there, waiting with a polite kiss on the cheek if anything, but there’s no kind of charged emotion at the thought of her child returning from war. Somewhere deep inside those feelings are there, it’s just that it was such a repressed time for her class.

[horrorstreet]

Hm, that slasher teacher post gave me the life I never had. If you wouldn't mind. How do you think the teacher slashers would react to a student that was being bullied by another and is really emotionally hurt because of it? Please and Thank you so much!

I would love to continue branching off the original post!! Here ya go!! ➡

Freddy 

Whenever Freddy knows that another kid is being bullied and it is hurting them mentally or physically, there is a big problem, even bigger than the bullying. This school is to learn how to hurt other people, not classmates. Freddy would talk to the kid and try and make them feel better by letting them wear his hat and making them laugh any way he can. 

Jason

Oh no. I don’t think so. Jason will NOT let this slide in the slightest. Kindness? GONE. Forgiveness? SORRY, THEY CANT COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW. Jason has been bullied all his childhood which lead to how he is today and he wasn't going to let someone else suffer like he did. When he learned about what was going on, the quiet Jason was a whole new person. Meaner and, this time, strict.  He would comfort the bully victim and try and communicate all of his bully stories and try and make them smile at least a little with stories of him and his mom using a whiteboard. 

Norman

Norman did not take very well to the new that one of his students was being bullied and picked on. He would let the head of the school deal with the bully but he would comfort the kid who was being bullied by sitting down with them and chatting with them about what has been going on, let them get everything off their chest.

Harry Warden 

No words. Nothing. Just pure fear. Of course, he had his mask on which just upped the fear factor. When Harry found out a student was being bullied he sat the bully down and just stared at them. He swore they almost cried but he ended the punishment there before they could. The student looked down and just walked out of the classroom, terrified. He would look at the student an give them some homework passes seeing as how he wasn’t familiar with how to comfort people well. 

Michael 

Michael picked the bully up by the collar of their shirt, lifting them in the air. Michael was the one who caught the bully doing the bullying. When the bully was lifted into the air, he was flailing his limbs all around. All of the other classmates watched as their fellow student was being held in the air. Michael watched the struggle to get down until they apologized which was much after class ended. He wasn’t fond of soft emotions so he just nodded to the bully victim and let them walk out with an unspoken promise to help and protect them when they needed it.

 Jack 

At this moment, Jack was all about authority. At some point, he would take things into his own hands like using harsh words towards the bully and telling them what they did was a complete disgrace to his class. After that, he followed the school system and reported the student to the main office where the real punishment began. 

Bubba

This was a school for killer so threating students when appropriate was totally justified in situations as so. Bubba was not one to use violence around his students but when he caught one of his students messing around and trying to cut another student’s fingers off with a cleaver because “They weren’t good enough at cutting the muscle off of the arm” he called the class over and began teaching them a new lesson. Whenever the time came to slam the meat cleaver down to chop something in half, Chop Top would eerily stare at the bully as Bubba did so. 

Pinhead 

Oh dear. Pinheads class was all about punishment and the bully chose the wrong time and lifetime to bully anyone. When pinhead found out that another student was being bullied, it was not taken light-heartedly. Pinhead gave the bully their own little peek into their own personal hell hole and they got the point, not speaking a word the one being bullied ever again. Pinhead didn’t have anything to say to the bully victim but they felt safe none the less.   

Billy and Stu 

Billy and Stu knew what was going on and so they pulled the bully victim to the side and let them in on a little secret. Their one chance to commit in an act of public humiliation. Lessons were to be taught in this school and no one ever said they would be nice. The two boys helped the bullied student plan a prank on their bully and carry it out causing the bully to be humiliated in front of EVERYONE. This was the only time though, they didn’t want to take it too far. 

Brahms

Brahms did not like the fact that something like this was going down in his class. He would scare the bully and pile homework on them like no one's business. He would make them write so many essays on meaningless books about nothing they were learning just because of what they did. 

Chucky

Chucky confronted the Bully victim about what was going and made them laugh. He suggests many different voodoo ideas to help the bully understand what they did was wrong. Chucky would crack jokes and told the bullied student to come to him whenever they were being messed with again so he could handle it. 

Tiffany 

Tiffanys heart broke. She hated seeing people treated and wronged like this. yes, her class was for emotional manipulation but it was NOT to be used on their students. Tiffany would talk to the student and comfort them with hugs and many sweet words, telling them how much of a good student they really were. 

This was kind of bad so I’m very sorry … 

[pepperony3000-archive]

Wait Endgame is your second favorite? That's surprising! No judgement though, but now I want to know how you rank all of them

Oh goodness… that is TWENTY-THREE MOVIES to rank! That’s hard! This might get very jumbly at around the midway point…

1) Iron Man 3 - Everything about it is so perfect. The Iron Fam being chaotic but also 100% supportive of each other? Tony being the first superhero in history to deal with mental disorders blatantly!!! onscreen!!! The action is top notch. The final battle needs to be taught in film school because it’s literally a metaphor for Tony’s main personal theme of feeling like he’s nothing without his armor, but then at the end he’s able to leap from one to the other because it’s not the armor itself that makes him powerful, it’s that he has the powerbravery/will to leap from one to the other.

2) Avengers: Endgame - Y’all are looking at it wrong. Pretend the Infinity Saga is a TV show and it just ended, and now the rest of the MCU is a spinoff show featuring some of the newer/recently introduced characters, but without the core group of the original show.Suddenly the most important characters getting to leave with a bang isn’t as frustrating.But I also love it because it got my two favorite characters so beautifully right! Tony and Natasha, because they are the two who are deemed worthy enough to be turned into the big talking points of the movies, got to end their TV show finale with a huge glorious heroic sacrifice that will make them remembered forever!The time travel is also REALLY clever. And this is coming from someone who has watched a LOT of time travel shows/movies. There is literally only one movie I’ve ever seen that handled time travel better, and that was Arrival. They did away with the time travel paradox by having every past even just create an alternate timeline. And really? They only asked for suspension of disbelief in service of a joke that was not even that funny and I sort of hated and because they wanted the old Steve scene to have a particular emotional resonance, and having him come back through the portal old… wouldn’t have done that. 

3) Iron Man - I firmly believe that this is the best movie in the entirety of the MCU. It was the first, and yet it has never been topped. (and yet it’s #3 on my list rofl)It gave us a very complex lead character with a supporting cast that had a lot more depth in their first outing than some of the OG6 had after four movies (*cough*Clint*cough*Thor*cough* - Thor only got good development after Ragnarok). There was also subtlety to the story that it seems hollywood writers in general (and MCU specifically) is incapable of anymore.

4) The Avengers - the very first time in history we get a massive teamup of superheroes? sign me the FUCK up!Loki was a fantastic villain, the characterization of all of them (except for Clint… sorry, pal) was absolutely amazing, and it’s just pure unadulterated fun. Not much more to say than that.

5) Black Panther - Live Action Lion King (2019) WHOMST? There was a live action Lion King in 2018 and it was called Black Panther!I have a few issues with it fuck YOU vibranium! but it’s SUCH a good movie. T’Challa is quite possibly the noblest MCU character/lead, and the supporting cast are all incredible. I also loved the idea that the villain was… actually… right? Oh he was wrong a FUCK in deciding that the way to go about getting it was through violence, but his end goal was correct.Which is actually very subtle (and again… one of the very few MCU movies to do that) and very important message - because so often people seem to think that violence is the answer. Because the cause is “right” and “just”, excessive violence or threats of violence are considered the proper course of action. But as Killmonger proved, that wasn’t the way. Instead we all need to be like Nakia - who wanted the same thing, but worked for it through kindness, sacrificing her own desires, and making the first tiny hole in the dam.

6) Captain America: The Winter Soldier - I firmly hold that this is one of the most overrated MCU movies, and it’s what started Steve Rogers down his path to… the character he ended up becoming… but it is an excellent movie!Natasha gets amazing development, Sam Wilson is better in this movie than he has been since, and the emotional stakes are very high and very well thought out. Also I’m sorry but the bold political statement of “nazis torturing people is bad” is… not all that subtle? or bold? I don’t know why people are saying that this is the movie that addresses difficult political questions because… it doesn’t?

7) Spiderman: Far From Home - I’m sorry y’all, but I love my boy Peter Parker and if you don’t like this movie then I might just fight you.It was a terrific followup to Endgame, and Peter’s trauma was dealt with in a very realistic and unbearably painful way. Mysterio was the perfect villain for Peter to face, because he forces him to confront his trauma… even though he forces it by first torturing Peter with it, but Peter is forced to find a way to cope with his fears, his grief, and his feelings of inadequacy. Also Peter/MJ is the literal cutest and I love them so much.

8) Avengers: Infinity War - ngl this was a VERY tough battle between this and FFH, but FFH won by just a hair.Thanos is the greatest villain of our generation, quite possibly of the past 2-3 generations. The characters they chose to pair up together worked extremely well - I didn’t know how much I needed the Thor/tree/rabbit teamup until it happened. And then that ending… never before has the world held its breath together in such shared anguish as when we watched Spiderman all the characters we love so much fade away into dust. And there was a great cry in all  the world, such as never has been or ever shall be again!

9) Captain America: The First Avenger - Steve Rogers has never been better than he was in this film. Unfortunately it was all downhill after that, but it’s because of this film that he was my second favorite character for a good five years. There is a gentleness to this Steve that is utterly lacking starting in The Winter Soldier, where he becomes this machismo who obsesses far too much over anything he has one (1) emotion about because he doesn’t know how to handle it.This Steve Rogers is emotionally very intelligent, and is genuinely willing to do whatever it takes to do what is right.And I will say, I can understand why he made the decision he made in Endgame, because Peggy is such a brilliant and dynamic and interesting person, I don’t think anybody could have resisted staying with her (if she agreed to have him). @Marvel please bring back Agent Carter, because I need more Peggy.

10) Captain America: Civil War - This movie did a lot of studio mandated things, and because of that was weaker than it might have been, but I hold that it is a very good and very solid movie. Unfortunately, a big fault of the movie is that I don’t think Chris Evans believed in what he was performing, and so couldn’t give it the complexity that it needed (particularly as the Russo’s take input of their cast into consideration when making their movies… actors get to choose a lot of their own character beats unless it’s a plot-mandated beat). And unfortunately, Steve Rogers suffered for this.If The Winter Soldier is the one where he began obsessing over anything that gave him one (1) emotion, this is the movie where that tendency grew two extra heads and turned into a monster. Steve sees this argument the way a soldier who is used to following orders during wartime would, whereas Tony sees this argument the way a strategist during peacetime might. Steve thinks Tony is “trying to win a war before it starts”, while Tony thinks he’s deescalating rising tensions. And unfortunately, Steve is too blinded by his one (1) emotion to see the complexities in the situation.Which, while it frustrates me how poorly this movie did Steve’s personality, those dynamics are very interesting to watch play out onscreen. Plus, the dialogue is sharp and witty, and the emotional beats - particularly everything that has to do with Tony, is some of the most beautifully written and performed drama I’ve seen in a while.

11) Spiderman: Homecoming - This movie did such a good job of giving us a teenaged Peter Parker. All the other movies, Peter didn’t feel like a teenager. He felt like a grownup. This Pete is definitely a teenager - he’s a young kid in a big world trying to be a superhero, and because of that trying to take on problems that he is not experienced enough to take on.The journey he takes on this movie is to learn just exactly that, and by the end he probably is experienced enough now  to take on those bigger threats, but he makes the mature decision not to do that quite yet - proving exactly the kind of man he will eventually grow up to be.

12) Thor: Ragnarok - Finally Thor gets developed. Hemsworth really shows off his acting chops in this movie. He’s always been very charming as Thor, but this is the movie where we learned that he’s not just charming, but also a very talented actor. I personally found some of the clumsiness/slapstick around his character a bit much, but Hemsworth performed it perfectly.This is a movie where the story doesn’t actually matter. Honestly… who even remembers the story? The important thing about this movie are the characters, and they are all done incredibly well, except possibly Loki, and even he got some good development at the very end of it. Thor is finally an interesting character, Hela is an amazing villain, Bruce got some fun development, and Valkyrie should have been introduced five movies ago (@Marvel give me a Valkyrie movie! Why the FUCK are we reportedly getting Thor 4 when you could have had Thor stay behind as king of Asgard and giving Val her own  movie instead? Especially since all of Thor’s important relationships are dead or in the gotg movie, so he has nowhere to move on to! If we don’t have good characters/dynamics, Thor 4 will suck! It will also suck because the heart of his movies have been his relationship with his brother, and that’s gone now).

13/14) Ant Man and the Wasp/Ant Man - Honestly these movies can just be grouped together, because they’re very very similar, and all I would have to say about one I’d say about the other.

The Antman movies are very light hearted and comical, and the important thing here (like Ragnarok) is not the story, but the characters. The family relationships explored here honestly feel like real families - they just happen to live in a world with superheroes. I think AMaTW is the better of the two, but only by a little bit.

15) Iron Man 2 - This is another movie that was made lesser than it could have been due to executive meddling. Honestly, if you re-cut the movie and just take out all of Coulson’s scenes it becomes a much better movie (and would have gone higher on the list).As it is, Coulson dumps expositional world building that doesn’t really work in the context of the movie.What does work is the chaotic-yet-supportive Iron Fam (once again), and the introduction of Black Widow. I think Natasha might have had the best introduction in the MCU, because the audience was who she was fooling. Her job is to manipulate people and fool them into thinking she’s what she wants us to think she is, and only reveals the truth when she’s ready for it. And that is exactly how we were introduced to her. The underlying plot of Tony struggling with his imminent death was also incredibly well done. He wanted so desperately to not be dying, but there wasn’t anything that he could do. And when he ran out of options, he behaved in such a way to make things worse for him (health wise), because nothing was worse than sitting back and waiting for death to come. Better for it to come quickly and for the agony of just waiting for it to pass. Unfortunately Coulson takes away some of the gravitas of that by forgetting Tony was dying and threatening to taze him…All in all, a weak story but fleshed out by some of the best characters the MCU has ever created and introduced.

16) Doctor Strange - A decent movie with decent characters. There is nothing particularly memorable about it, but also nothing particularly bad about it either (beyond casting a non-Asian actress as the Ancient One).

17) Thor - Sort of like Doctor Strange, a decent movie with a charming lead but mostly terrible supporting cast. I will hold that none of the human characters are actually very good. At all. The best thing Ragnarok did was drop them all like the movie ruining load that they are.Once again, Loki is a good villain and an interesting character, and while Thor is underdeveloped he’s incredibly charming and likable in spite of that.

18) Captain Marvel - Yes I am a woman. Yes I disliked Captain Marvel. Can we move on from that please.If Thor is a decent movie with a charming lead, Captain Marvel is a decent movie with a terrible lead. I do not find Carol to be particularly interesting, and will hold that Brie Larson was incredibly miscast in the role. (if you want to hear why, you can peruse this). In general, it’s also a movie that relies a little bit too much on 90s nostalgia, and as somebody who personally hates when a movie relies on nostalgia to be considered “good”, all of that rubbed me the wrong way. The same applies to Ragnarok tbh, but I didn’t mention it up there because I wanted to rant about wanting a Valkyrie movie. (@Marvel please)Unfortunately, this movie is also not one bit subtle with it’s message. And as a woman, I do not relate to a woman whose only personality trait is “stand up to men”. Every other female character in the MCU is quite capable of standing up to men, and they all have a lot of character outside of that. And I will stop there because even saying that much risks me getting blocked right off of this hellsite…

19) Guardians of the Galaxy - I am definitely in the minority for this one, but I never liked this movie. If the 90s nostalgia in Captain Marvel rubbed me the wrong way, the 80s nostalgia in this movie was rubbing me the wrong way. with sandpaper.But my biggest problem with this movie is that Quill is not interesting enough (in my opinion) to be the central character. These characters all feel like sidekicks, and without a strong central lead for them to be sidekicks to, everything just feels very underdeveloped. I also find the humor in these movies to be very cheap and childish.However, I love that the team very much became a family. I believe in their relationships with each other even if each person as an individual character feels very weak.

20) Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - If you took GOTG1 and flipped it on it’s head, you’d get GOTG2. This is quite possibly the worst MCU movie ever, except that… somehow… it has some of the most heartfelt and meaningful emotional beats out of all of them.I felt every single emotional beat, and the fact that the characters were all sidekicks… actually worked well for this movie. They didn’t need to be more than sidekicks, because the “kick” part of sidekick stands for “kick ass”.However, the story was atrociously bad, and one of the worst the MCU has ever done, which is why it’s below GOTG1. But only slightly.

21) The Incredible Hulk - Does anybody even remember this movie? It was boring, uneventful, had the wrong guy playing Bruce Banner, and was just poorly written throughout. 

22) Thor: The Dark World - This movie is a boring, dreary, horribly written, badly directed mess. Some of the stuff up on Asgard was decent except for the fact that they fridged Frigga for no goddamn reason, and everything that happened on earth was goddamn awful, verging on embarrassing. And don’t even get me started on the dark elves. They were rightfully dropped from the MCU and never mentioned again because they are just That. Bad.

23) The Avengers: Age of Ultron - the movie where Joss Whedon fucked up Natasha’s backstory for the sake of his self-insert ship, infantilized Wanda Maximoff by insisting the woman with cleverly displayed cleavage who was clearly in her 20s was actually only 15, did not solidify the team as a family (THIS IS THE MOVIE WHERE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN GODDAMMIT), and disrespected literally every movie that came before (including his own goddamn flick).Wow I just realized that most of the awful shit he did was done to the female characters. Can you believe this disgusting asshole has the audacity to call himself a feminist? Fucking disgraceful…Fuck Whedon. He doesn’t deserve to come within a thousand yards of a woman.

[detroitbecomeyandere]

His Muse pt 4

You thought everyone was asleep- or whatever Markus did while Carl slept. So you climbed out of the bed and crept towards the door. Would Markus be waiting outside? Making sure you didn’t escape in the middle of the night? You slowly turned the doorknob and looked up and down the hallway to make sure it was empty. You slowly walked into the hallway and started to walk down it, pausing when you heard voices coming through a slightly open door.

 Slowly walking towards it, you crouched down so you wouldn’t be blocking the light entering the room and listened to Carl and Markus speaking. “I want to give her the world Markus.” You looked into the room to see Markus partially sitting on Carl’s bed, the older man holding his hand as he spoke. “There’s somethings I can’t give her though. Things you can.”

 “I’m not sure what you mean Carl.”

 You could hear him giving a breathy laugh in return. “I think you do. I’m talking of physical love. I can love her emotionally, spiritually, I can provide for her. But even if we ignored the fact I have no feeling in my lower half Markus, you and I both know my heart can’t handle it.”

 You could hear the blood rushing in your ears, surely he wasn’t saying-? “Carl, I’m not going to- there’s so much wrong with that.” There was silence for a moment as it seemed to sink into everyone that Markus raised his voice at Carl. “I think she’s afraid of me.” His voice was soft, heartbroken. You hadn’t even realized he could sound so sad. “She wouldn’t make eye contact with me today. Not since I made the mistake of hurting her while trying to bring her back.”

 “That’s one thing about us humans. We forgive and forget.” You felt angry at his words. He was just brushing off the fact that Markus admitted to hurting and kidnapping you? His next words made your blood run cold. “I’ll make it an order if I have to. I want you to give her the physical love I can’t Markus.”

 “You don’t have to make it an order Carl. I’ll try my best, I’m just not sure she’ll go along with it.”

 You quietly jumped to your feet, scurrying back to your room and closing the door behind you as quietly as possible. You then rushed over to the bed and climbed in, curling up as tight as possible with your back to the door. This couldn’t be happening, couldn’t be real. You wanted to hit yourself. All those times you thought ‘if he were younger I’d say he was flirting’? He was flirting with you. You tightly shut your eyes and tried to calm yourself down.

 Footsteps outside your door made you shove part of the blanket over your mouth. He wasn’t going to try now was he? You could hear your heartbeat pounding as you waited to hear the door open. After what felt like much too long the footsteps continued away from the door. You sighed in relief and slowly were able to get to sleep. Nightmares of Markus rapeing you as Carl watched waking you up every few hours.

 You eventually gave up on sleep and decided a long hot bath might be enough to help you relax. As you poured the water for the bath you slowly brushed your hair, making sure to get out any tangles from the tossing and turning before pinning it up to keep it dry. You climbed in once the bath was full enough and sighed as the heat eased some of your tension. After a little bit you closed your eyes and started to fall asleep.

 You weren’t sure how long you had fallen asleep, but a gentle hand shaking your shoulder woke you up. Your eyes snapped open and seeing Markus perched on the edge of the tub made you shriek and rush to cover your breasts with your hands. He quickly stood up and held out a towel for you. “I only came in because you had run the bath an hour ago and I didn’t hear it drain. I wanted to make sure you weren’t going to drown. It’s not recommended to fall asleep in bathtubs.” You wanted to laugh at his phrasing, but relaxed slightly when you saw he was making a point to look at the ceiling to respect your privacy.

 A short laugh bubbled past your lips. “Well I’m awake now.” You curled up, pressing your knees to your chest as you looked up at him. “Uh, you can leave now? I just- kind of naked here.”

 “I’m a caretaker android y/n, you have nothing to worry about in regards to your privacy.” He hadn’t moved, just kept the towel held out waiting for you and looking at the ceiling. “I need to make sure you get out of the bathtub so you don’t fall asleep in it again.” With a sigh you climbed out of the tub and took the towel from him. He turned and walked out of the bedroom, making sure to look at the door leading to the hallway instead of you as you quickly dried off. “There are more clothes for you in the closet.”

 “Thank you Markus.” You turned to keep your back to him as you pulled one of the nightgowns over your head. Part of you squirmed at how short it was, one hand covering the low top while the other tried to pull the bottom further down. You spotted a long sheer robe and quickly pull it in, feeling sheer was at least better than nothing. You turned back to see Markus watching you with curious eyes.

 He walked over to you, placing his hands on either shoulder. Lightly rubbing up and down them. “You seem tense y/n. Would you like a massage to help you relax?”

 You quickly moved away, gasping at feeling the bed behind you. “No! No, no I’m fine. I’m-” You placed yours hands up, trying to keep yourself calm but feeling trapped. “I’m fine. I’ll be just fine, alright Markus?”

 He backed away from you, watching you with curious eyes for a moment before leaving the room and closing it behind him. You gave a sigh of relief as the door closed before slipping into bed. After a few more minutes of tossing and turning you eventually falling back to sleep.

 Once morning came you climbed out of bed and got dressed, pulling on the loose billowy shirt before wiggling into leggings. You went down the stairs, looking around for any signs of Carl being awake. You looked around the house, it felt empty. Slowly you walked into the kitchen, seeing Markus preparing breakfast. He turned at the sound of your footsteps. “Good morning y/n. I hope you slept much better.”

 “Yeah.” You tucked a stray long of hair behind your ear as you watched him chop the vegetables.

 The two of you looked up at the sound of the automated security system. “Welcome back Leo.”

 Markus looked towards the entryway and fuildly turned off the stove, moving everything out of the way before motioning for you to move. You watched him walk past you and after a moment's hesitation followed after him. Who was Leo? Who was he to make Markus look so serious and wipe all trace of a smile off his face?

 “Carl is asleep right now Leo. You can come back later to see him.” You looked around the corner to see Markus standing in front of a smaller man. He looked similar to Carl, but all similarities seemed to end with looks. You gave a small gasp at seeing him shove Markus.

 They both turned to you, Markus frowning in concern as Leo’s eyes trailed over your body. He took a step towards you, “What do we have here? A plaything for his plastic toy?” You felt angry at his words and curled your hands into fists. “What? Little kitten have some claws?” He stepped closed to you, Markus reached out to grab him but Leo shoved him back. “Come on, fight me like a man if you think you are one!” Leo reached out and grabbed your shirt, trying to pull you towards him.

 You slapped him and tried to pull yourself back at the same time, ripping the shirt in the process as you stumbled and fell back. “Don’t get any closer!” You shouted as he took a step towards you, one hand lightly touching his face. He seemed surprised you hit him back. “You heard me!” You rushed to get to your feet, one hand holding together the ripped parts of your shirt. You glanced between the two men, Markus slowly getting back up to his feet and Leo glaring at you.

 He lunged towards you, a scream came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. He knocked you down but you kicked at him, trying to claw at him, anything to get him off. “You stupid fucking bitch!” Markus quickly pulled him off of you, pinning Leo’s arms so he couldn’t get free. “Get the fuck off me!”

 “Markus!” A yell from above the stairs made all of you freeze. “What’s going on?” He slowly put Leo back down and you slowly climbed back up to your feet.

 Markus looked between you and Leo before he completely let go of him. “Go to Carl. I’ll be fine.” You hoped it wasn’t a lie, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to have Carl worry so much. Markus quickly nodded and rushed up the stairs.

 Leo gave a short huff of a laugh, wiping blood from a scratch off his face. “So I guess the kitten does have claws.” You took the moment to get another look at him, his eyes were very bloodshot and he had bags under his eyes. His face was pinched, the too tight look of someone who wasn’t eating very well or very much. “You’re not an android, your not his plaything. So what the hell are you to my dad?”

 That felt like a punch to the gut, this fucking gremlin was Carl’s son? You felt the blood rush to your face. Would he be disappointed in you for fighting his son? “I’m his-”

 “She’s my new muse Leo.” You looked up to see Markus putting Carl in the chair lift and watched him get down the stairs. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t attack people while you visit.” You felt his gaze linger on your ripped shirt and you looked down realizing your bra and a lot of skin was visible before you pulled it shut again. You glanced over at the younger man, flinching at the look of rage on his face before looking back over to Carl. “Y/N, why don’t you be a dear and wait for me in the art room? I’ll be there in just a few minutes.”

 You took the excuse and ran for it, not looking behind you as you heard raised voices behind you. Once in the other room you gave a sigh of relief as you sat down on a barstool. A few minutes passed before Carl wheeled himself over to you and gently took your hands in his own. You gave him a shaky smile as he tucked a hair behind your ear. You felt disheveled, still kind of scared about the whole situation. “You look so beautiful right now.” He placed a kiss on your hand before backing up and rolling over to one of his easels. “Lift your chin up a bit.” You stayed like that, letting him paint you as you looked through the glass walls to the slightly gray skies. It fit your mood, overcast but not sure if it was staying or going. “We’re done for now. Let’s have some of that delicious breakfast Markus made for us.” You stood up and followed after Carl, still not sure what to say.

 Markus was setting the table when you both entered, he looked at the two of you with a soft smile. His gaze dropped down to your ripped shirt and he frowned slightly. You pulled it shut again and sat down to eat, slowly picking at your food. It felt like ash in your mouth. You wanted the day to be over already and it had barely begun.

 Markus handed you a drink, some green smoothie looking thing and you sipped at it slowly. You were aware of Carl glancing over at you but ignored it in your sudden exhaustion. You finished the green drink and your world went black.

 “Markus!” Carl reached for you and shouted at the same time. Markus already standing behind you and grabbing your shoulders before you hit the table. He looked up at his android before shaking his head and giving a grin. “You drugged her drink.”

 He nodded, picking you up with ease and adjusting your body so your head leaned against his chest. “She did not get much sleep last night and I’m sure the events with Leo had already left her exhausted. I assumed she needed rest, and this would be the best way to be sure she got it.” He frowned and tilted his head to the side as he thought it over. “Was I wrong in my assessment?”

 Carl gave a frown and tilted his head as he considered. “No. A nice nap would help her. In a little bit you can take her upstairs, she can still pose for my paintings while unconcious.”

 —

I’m loving this 😩🤤 Birooksun has outdone herself again!