#like i just really dont know how uve made it this far u cant really function as a screaming toddler inhabiting an adults body

[red-elric]

omg ive made it in the hs fandom random ass ppl are calling me an idiot for my hs posts just like i the furuba days :,) stay tuned to see if ive grown as a person and will just block them this time or if ill go on long rants arguing back w them again hahahahahaha

[toytulini]

Witchverse is so weird and its hard bc i dont want to completely rewrite a bunch of history, but then i have to sit there and come up with a believable good reason that Birdie didnt step in and prevent any of the atrocities that happened since humans first migrated to the americas and its like. Hmmmm

[romancemoved]

                    ✨ a follow forreal volume 1 for the babezzzzzzxxxoxox that really hold it down and make me happy. i'm not gonna waste words here, let's just get to it. don't ask me about the graphic, i saw at least 5 japanese magazines today and decided to copy all of them at the same time. 

@dxspereaux / years of shenanigans... you’re the only person who can make a muse and virote will hate them instantly and will eventually beat them up and spit on them. i love that... i love our Enemies™ and the awful ways they get to each other. but i also love our lovey-dove ships. can you believe donvi have been at it for years!!! lochlan, dude, and a bonus gerry... and i love the friendships :) didi and virote are gonna burn down the entire state of new jersey one day. don’t even know why but best believe its coming anyway dex omg ur a wonderful writer. full of humor and emotion and i luv u wtf heehee. im sorry virote makes fun of your italian muse so much for being italian.

@splittingpaths / ur on discord now mainly but that’s kind of where all of our stupid shit happens anyway. love our little connections and plots and shit... love how highly inappropriate the humor in them can be sometimes i know with you i can cut loose and have a laugh lolllll. my luv for u never changes, unlike tommy’s race... our multi-latino, spaghetti italian headass, irish on wednesdays headass... love ur muses. luv u and ur journey in life.... i wish mi-cha would get therapy tho maybe u should let her have that. glfdjgldfgjfd.

@emptyvictory / you already f*cking know what time it is rory. its pizza time. like yeah we havent been partners for years but it feels like it... three brilliance. u rly made me into a gta4 stan... cant wait til its massacred in a remaster. anyway. i already told u my best writing these days comes w. u. omg niko bellic and virote srisati... two emotionally stunted men that just deserve to love each other and not scream internally all the time. niko’s such an easy muse to fuck up. ive seen it happen lol. hes ur masterpiece tho. as far as im concerned, rockstar games can fuck offf. :) hes ur character and gta 4 is ur property.

@maximuses​ / the drama we’ve written omg... the michaelvi saga which has left vi a mess still i think but only because he’s embarrassed by the whole ordeal... vi and trevor...... vi hasnt tried to kill steve haines yet but i think we should make something of that soon. like vis not gonna kill him but maybe hitting him really hard w. a tennis ball will do something. anyway... ur gta 5 muses are yours really... i love the depth you’ve given michael and i love that u made him a divorcee. king shit!! and ur so nice and wonderful and i’ve always loved talking to you on discord and seeing u on my dash omg ilyyyyyyy.

@vendettacanons / u and jason kinda come in a package deal like a cheeseburger and fries. ur so fun!! and i love that uve taken up the gta5 muses that others wouldnt like lamar and lester :))) let’s do some frankji soon...... dont get me started on andreas. rockstar dropped the ball with not giving him any sort of backstory but youve made him his own person and hes so interesting. and i absolutely love your writing and how much you enjoy character building. u love what u do and it shows.

@blightceo / ur going here because we talk a lot on discord. and i root for ur growth and i want the best for u!!!!! i want u to go out and beat a bitch’s ass!!! pull a weave. go out and achieve ur dreams and get famous from ur art cuz u deserve that tbh i luv u so much im very glad ur just here and letting me witness u it truly is a gift. :)

part 2 is coming whenever.

i don’t ever wanna look at photoshop ever again.

[heliophilial]

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒔 . (a tbz 3rd year anniversary special)

genre :angst ,fluff (more of brotherhood)

group and member involved :the boyz ,all members are involved !

between :the whole group and thebs hello cuties <3

warnings :u may or may not cry but i cried typing this so gluck ig HWUJDF

word count :844 (i didn’t count my notes to thebs and the boys in)

brief description :when all seems dull ,when times are grey ,it is only when we are together that the world gains its colour .theres no one else like you ,no one else like us ,theres really nothing like us .

playlist :literally just nothing like us by justin bieber like a 1 hr loop or smth ,depends on how long u take to read this

before you continue to read also please note that ‘we’ refers to thebs here !!

quiet .peaceful .light snores of the members filled the dorm .the room filled with nothing but darkness .black shade hovering over the members faces .they had just wrapped up a little celebration in the living room with cakes and party poppers to celebrate their 3rd year together not long ago .shortly after wrapping up the party ,they had fallen asleep on the couch ,all lying on one another comfortably .

sangyeon slowly blinked his eyes open .he rubbed his eyes and slowly unwrapped eric's hands from his waist and placed chanhee's legs that were on his lap onto the space of the sofa that he had previously occupied .careful to not wake the members up .

he looked at the members' sleeping forms and smiled ,glad that they were finally able to catch some rest after their packed schedules .he walked to the kitchen to fetch himself a glass of water and at the corner of his eyes ,he spotted a glimmering light .he placed his glass down and approached the light that was so very alluring for some reason .

there on the shelf of where all their awards have been placed on ,laid a book with its contents blinding his eyes with its bright light .he inspected the book for a while before proceeding to open it with caution .

inside the book ,there were sketches of the key moments the members have shared together such as their debut stage ,their first ever music show award as well as their first ever full length album promos .as he flipped to the first page that displayed their first moment together ,there were harsh winds blowing past him and a force from the book pulled him towards the page and right into it .

he looked at the 12 boys on stage ,introducing themselves for the first time to the whole wide world .and he looked at them with pride and honour in his eyes ,the boys' who had no idea what being idols would be like for themselves ,clueless of what the future had in store for them .he looked at them from the bottom of the stage and sucked in a breath ,"wow we've really grown a lot ."he thought .

after they had introduced themselves as a group and individually ,the sight in front of him suddenly pauses and his attention gets diverted to the door to his right .

he walked into the room .

he gets transported to the very first time they cried together ,over the pain ,over the stress ,over the tiredness of it all .

he looked at the 12 boys shedding tears of pain .he swallowed the lump in his throat ,the feelings of helplessness ,confusion ,fear coming washing over him once again as he sees the very moment they broke down .

tears flows down his face ,and that my friends are tears of the caretaker ,the leader ,the person whom the members depend on ,lee sangyeon .

as heavy as the weight he carried ,the tears poured like a fierce and powerful waterfall .

and then the door right next to him yet again invites him to step into yet another memory .

he steps onto the stage of road to kingdom ,and as he looks ahead the ending poses of all their road to kingdom stages are there right in front of him .all the members still and not moving ,just statures .

he walks down the long stretch ,as he looks at the legacy they left behind ,the power and strength ,the confidence from these stages that the members have gained progressively with each stage .

as he finally reaches the other end of the stage ,the screen opens up to when they had their 'the stealer'promotions .where they had their wins .

his smile grew wider and wider as he walked through all the performances they have done for the stealer and all the trophies they have gotten from the era .

and finally he reached another door .a door with a question mark on it .

he opens the door ,to pitch black .

darkness ,just darkness .and the fear in sangyeon grew ,"what does this darkness mean ?what is it gonna be for us ?"

suddenly , the door creaks open to reveal the members one by one .

sangyeon looks up at them and suddenly the fear stops ,hes no longer afraid as he looks into their eyes .

they ran to him and extended their hands out to him .

he proceeds to embrace all the members into a big tight group hug .drops of colour starts to paint the room ,slowly forming a picture showing the many stages they have performed ,every milestone theyve achieved ,the concerts ,every moment with their fans ,every moment together ,every vlives .everything starts out when theyre together .

we opened the door carefully ,proceeding to join our hands together and form a circle surrounding the boys .as we cried tears of joy and pride ,we hugged each other as well and this is when we knew

"theres nothing like us ,theres nothing like you and me ,together through the storm ."

for thebs

thank you for being one of the most caring ,loving ,welcoming and inclusive fandoms ever .to all the thebs all around thw world ,thank you for supporting them and giving them love as well .i love yall <3 lets protect them at all costs ♡

for my beloved boys

hello my loves ❤ik its 12 am in korea already but i still just wanna type this for you !so there's really a lot of things i want to say to you ,im sure many of us have already said whatever im about to say but i will still say it to remind you or to let you know that ,yes ,you do make me feel that way ,you do make me feel those kinds of feelings .

i dont know how ,like no nothing at all can show how grateful i am towards you .i cant tell you how many times there were this year when i just got beaten up (mentally)to the point that i couldnt even have the energy to stand back up and continue life normally .but whenever these times come ,ik i just know even though youre not here physically ,i know you want me to stop crying ,i know you would want me to stop hurting myself and i know you would stay with me even when my walls come crashing down onto me .you made me feel the greatest kind of happiness possible ,i never knew that this feeling was even possible to feel until i met you .

there was never a moment when i regretted stanning you ,supporting you and giving you all my heart and soul ,my energy ,everything .i just want you to know that you are so special ,so wonderful ,so incredibly talented ,so hardworking ,so beautiful ,just the most amazing bunch of people ever .ive never seen people so passionate ,so ready to help ,so genuinely loving and caring towards the people who love them .

i know its hard to be an idol ,and i know that its especially hard to even speak your mind ,speak what you wanna say without having the media chase you down .but i just wanna let you know that we are and will be by your sides forever .no matter what happens ,im sure ,very sure u know that u can run right back into our arms like how uve always welcome us back into urs .u are the people who made me feel the most bizarre feelings ,beyond happiness ,beyond joy ,beyond euphoria ,beyond all the feelings ive ever felt in my whole 16 years of living .

we are so proud of you of how far youve come ,how much youve accomplished .im so so proud ,so so happy to be able to call myself a fan of yours ,a theb ,someone who so dearly supports you .and i really hope you know that .i would wish for there to never be an end to this .for all i know ,im in this shit for life ,forever ,till the end .

im just so happy because of you ,i feel joy ,i see the light in life ,the reasons to live ,so much more prominent to me now because of you .there will come one day ,when we can finally see each other face to face and i can finally shout out to you ,my words of gratitude ,my words of thanks and my words filled with love and affection for you and just see your faces .but till then ,please take good good care of urselves ,rest well and eat well okay !we're always here ,remember !❤

its really been a rocky and crazy ride these 3 years ,you my friend ,are indeed the best character i can ever invite into my story 💜i hope youre sleeping tight ,i love you so much more than words can ever describe .with that ,happy 3 years to my favourites ,my loves ,my bbs ,my shining lights ,my everything ,happy 3 years to the boyz ❤💜💙💛 - berinne

[chikkou]

someone probably asked this already but would u feel like writting on your thoughts on dingalings opinions/statements about buddy? i never got to around to play the lisa games after the first one but im getting the context both from the stuff uve written on it and my gf who played the game and she seems like the best character in the game imo

well im glad u asked.... (does a gay little walk over to the keyboard)

ok so as was mentioned by the last lisa anon i got, buddy is austins least favorite character. i cant recall if he ever specified why exactly in public, but i have seen an interview that he did shortly after the painful came out, so i think i have a LITTLE more context for his thought process (and please remember this is all conjecture, i literally dont know this man LMAO)

so first, for some background: buddy was adopted by brad when he found her abandoned as a baby, but her birth father is dr. yado, the man who created olathe (with buzzo!). she bears a notably striking resemblance to lisa, especially as she gets older - in fact, i think thats part of why brad chose to keep her. for reference, heres lisa, and heres buddy. obviously these are sprites and not indicative of their exact appearance, but this should make it pretty obvious what i mean. note that, even though brad knows how unsafe it is for buddy to “look like a girl,” he still keeps her hair long like lisas was. buzzo noted the similarity between them in the joyful as well. brad also treats her in a similar (but NOT the exact same) manner that marty did to lisa, but i will get into that in another ask i got LMAO

now, as to why austin doesnt like her. so, this may be reading into things a little too much, but i know for a fact that brad is austins favorite character, AND that austin based brads character and experiences on that of his own father, whom he had a sort of mixed relationship with by his own admission (and i believe his dad was also named “bradley” skjfsds). i dont know any details about this at all, but to my understanding, austins dad also wrestled with addiction, and had a bit of a “rough” personality like brad. austin mentioned in that interview dealing with resentment toward his father for a long time, but that he eventually realized that his father was doing the best that he could in spite of his own upbringing, and even though it didnt excuse the shitty stuff hed done, it made austin somewhat more understanding of the difficult position he was in. so, if brad is austins dad.... well, its not that far of a leap to speculate who buddy likely represents. and it colors a lot of the way he depicts her actions.

the painful, for all its amazing content, sort of dropped the ball on showing why buddy hated brad so much. the only things we know about buddy and brads relationship in that game come from the intro or directly from buddy, and since she never goes into detail (which is fair in-context since brad clearly knows the intricacies of their relationship LMAO), it makes it seem like the worst thing brad has done is forced buddy to stay inside and occasionally passed out from substance abuse. however, as we learn in the joyful, that is not true at all. brad insulted buddy (called her an idiot for asking about brads estranged son), forced her to kill at least two innocent men because, and i quote, “my daughter will not be weak,” and tried to isolate her from the only other people in her life (her uncles, rick, sticky, and cheeks) after they DARED to tell her a small tidbit about brads past. brad may not have been anywhere near as abusive as marty, but if i described all of these things together and asked a random person if they considered them abusive behaviors for a parent, i think id be likely to get an affirmative response.

now, this is not to say that austin doesnt make it a point to show brad mistreating buddy in the painful proper - in the marty scene, brad literally punts buddy across a room because she begs him not to kill him, and then when she throws herself between marty and brad to get him to stop, brad doesnt hesitate to beat the fuck out of her until she has to withdraw. remember too that buddy is not an adult, by any stretch of the imagination - austin confirmed on twitter that she is nowhere near 18. i personally put her age in the 10-12 range, but ive seen people go as high as 14 or 15. in either case, though, this is a fucking CHILD, and beating her like he did is no different than what marty used to do to both him and lisa.

even in spite of this stuff, though, fans are so much more willing to forgive brads behavior than buddys. there are a few reasons for this, but in a more meta-sense, theres a pretty clear reason why buddy is less sympathetic - because we spend WAY less time with her. in the painful, buddy is not on screen until maybe 5-10 hours into gameplay, and we dont even get any real time with her until the games second half. the joyful, in addition to that, is an EXTREMELY short game; the painful is about 20-30 hours, but the joyful runs about 5 hours max. it was a kickstarter stretch goal, and i honestly wish austin hadnt made it a stretch goal and had spent more time working on it, because while it does some really interesting stuff story-wise, it is severely lacking the run time to make buddys story as compelling as brads.  

primarily, though, i believe its because brad gets freudian excuses that at least EXPLAIN his behavior and also show just how many demons he has been fighting. while buddy has just as good of a reason to be the way she is, we never really get to SEE this stuff point blank like we did with brad. we witness him being hurt and mistreated as a kid, and more still as an adult in flashbacks. we get almost nothing from buddy, even though it is obvious that she is suffering in a very unique way. 

so, circling back to your question - why is buddy austins least favorite? i think, quite simply, he seems to identify with her character in the context of buddys relationship with brad, and that actually makes him like her LESS because he has the benefit of hindsight and experience-based wisdom to empathize much more with the brads character and experiences than buddys. so even though brad and buddy are the same in many ways, where he can see brads actions as understandable (if a bit extreme), he cant see buddys in quite the same way. it would be fine if he just felt that way privately, but unfortunately it leaks into the games themselves and leads to many fans not being able to see her perspective and empathize with her, either. and it really does suck bc buddy is definitely one of the most interesting video game protags ive ever seen LMAO

tl;dr austin probably dislikes buddy because brad is based on his own father, and the relationship between brad and buddy is very likely based on his own relationship with his father. there also wasnt enough time in buddys game for her to become more sympathetic, so if ur not really paying attention, it seems like shes just being a bratty teenager instead of, u know. a victim of abuse on a massive scale. so yeah 

[urmomification]

SWAG ANOTHER DREAM SMP AU FIC IDEA THAT ILL NEVER WRITE POG

this is a very long post please im so sorry my brain it just

(tw for like slight possession n shit)

(sorry its all jumbled i write all of these in discord to my friend and copy paste them here please if u have questions ask me im always willing to talk abt this shit please it haunts me)

(context: i saw a tiktok abt the hc that both dream and techno are gods of some sort bc theyre mentioned in the tales of the smp by karl a time traveller and my brain just ran w it)

going back to the techno and dream are gods thing right so dream is a vessel for the god dream xd (??? work in progress youll know what im talking about at some point its really funny tho uve def seen clips of it) and he was possessed?? by the god after the server started (when he started going from super friendly with everyone to control/power hungry) when he started sacrificing everything for power so no one could have power over him? that was the god making him do it bc the god was terrified of not being in control since theyd lost it all to techno in their past. thats why we never see dream and techno fight and why we see dream extend help and support to him at times as well as respecting his boundaries and such bc theyre scared of techno (again w the best of 10 duel reference, techno killed the god in a past life which is why the god has been forced to use a human vessel to get anything done on the mortal plane) but when something that powerful spends pretty much any amount of time in something mortal and mundane like a person, the host body starts to change (hence the mask) i like to think that the god would be akin to that of a biblically correct angel?? like the ones w multiple eyes n shit yk so after time things start to happen to normal dreams body he gets extra sets of eyes and he gets taller and overall his body seems just Too Small for whatevers inside of him and thats why he (hc) started wearing the mask in the first place he knew something was wrong w him but he didnt want anyone to know even tho they would most likely help him he was ashamed that he was different in the first place so he started wearing the mask once the other eyes showed up. and i think that the god would talk to dream similarly to how technos voices work yk? except its just the one voice instead of many many small ones. and again with the mask thing when he lost to tommy and they took him in, part of his mask broke to the point where u could see just a bit of the right side of his face but enough to see that it Wasnt Right there were two eyes where there shouldve been one and spots on his cheeks bright enough to resemble stars and where the color of his pupil should have been is just a sickeningly neon green with nothing else behind it. so they let him keep the mask even tho they already know something is wrong but it clearly makes him Very Distressed when asked to remove the mask or told to give it up. blah blah blah god harassing its host bc it got them caught and thrown in a prison and dream goes ever so slightly insane having to share a mind and body with a literal ancient god w a vendetta against everything hes built whos forced him to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for out of fear yk the usual prison shit and then techno comes a long and breaks him out or whatever but on their way back to his house he drops a really cryptic line abt how 'its nice to see an old friend again' and 'i thought i got rid of u for good last time' and dream is just ???? what are u talking about?? weve never been friends and youve never gotten rid of me? what. until techno spins around and just 'im not talking to you im talking to the thing inside u' or whatever and dreams eyes flash some brilliant gold or sumn and boom this is ur fellow god speaking how may i help you and dream xd (that feels so wrong to say but) and techno bond or well ig just talk abt how the past centuries have gone and ig while xd is fronting (??? i think itd kinda be like DID in a sense w multiple people being able to front yk?) dream is in a sort of semi conscious state but still hears everything going on around his own body until hes thrown back into the drivers seat (i think that xd would only be able to front for short periods of time due to the vessel n shit that makes sense right) and hes so confused someone please help him hes just a dude who happened to get possessed by a god someone help him so when they finally get back to technos house he sits dream down and explains the best he can without literally melting dreams brain. which would also play into the 'technoblade never dies' bc hes. literally a god. mortals cant kill him unless they have idk some sort of super weapon idk and blah blah blah xd gets what they want and finally has the ability to leave finally leaving dream literally the shell of a man with no home friends materials or anything with techno to basically take care of him until he reaches some semblance of stability again (which would take ages, realistically (wdym realistically) going from normal, to a god sharing a body with you and speaking in you brain living as a single being together and hearing their thoughts, to back to normal but with all the memories of what you did and what they made you do and also no more god speaking in ur head it would take a hot sec to recover from) so he lives with techno (whos, not to mention, another god) for a while until he can fend for himself again and after a good year or so passes and no one hears from dream they start to look for him and see what happened bc he went from the biggest threat on the server to just. gone. no one knows where he went after whatever he did and they want closure. is he dead?? who knows. so george and sap set out looking for him and decide to ask techno for help since hes good w directions n shit also he was the last person to see dream alive so he might have an idea of where he is and they walk up to his house and knock on his door and techno opens it and just stares at them he knows who they are, dreams talked about them before but hes never met them really so he talks to them, getting through the polite hellos how are yous before sap finally asks 'do you know what happened to dream? no one knows where he went and we just want closure' techno huffs and tells them to wait there he (this is the basement door im using his arctic tundra house in my head) goes down the ladder to the second basement, they can hear him talking to multiple people (ranboo phil dream) but cant tell who everyone is before coming back up the ladder, back to the door. he tells them to wait outside he needs to get something first (its dream hes getting dream) theyre standing out by carls stable when the door creaks open and dream steps out looking around for who the fuck could possibly be looking for them he betrayed everyone and most people thought he was dead who could possibly be here asking for himself and not ranboo or philza and when he steps out, his green hoodie (memento made by ranboo to help him cope w the loss of the voice in his head) catching the morning light off the snow and he was happy and then he saw them standing by the house hed grown to call home at least for now he breaks. he missed them so so much it hurt. he never expected to see them ever again much less them come looking to see him but hes scared he realizes he doesnt know what to say there is nothing to say he fucked them all over he ruined everything and then hes being hugged. they missed him too. they dont forgive him jsut yet but they missed him and thats enough for him right now. the three of them stand there just being in each others presences and techno creaks the door open to make sure they arent trying to kill each other and sighs and leans against the frame smiling. hes happy again and thats the best he can do for him. he invites them all in and offers to explain everything to them to try and ease the blame off of dream bc in all honesty it was his fault but xd made it far far worse that it should have been (a bit late but foot note abt xd i think that they would be an idle god until someone w intense feelings of powerlessness and insecurity like awoke them from their techno induced slumber and inhabited dream to help him fulfill his desires for power and control) and by the time he and dream are finished its late at night and sap and george are ??? so u were possessed by a god who techno killed centuries ago in a duel and it amplified ur feelings of insecurity and ur thirst for control to the point of isolating urself from us and destroying everything everyone cared abt?? also technos an ancient god who lusts for bloodshed but also makes turtle farms in his free time?? are we getting this right????? and techno and dream are just yea thats abt it glad this all made sense then they all go to bed (its a small house dream has a lil shack like ranboos and sap and george somehow slept over there for the night) and in the morning sap and george leave again but promise to come back, they still arent ready to forgive and forget bc even tho it wasnt all his fault his emotions getting away from him is what caused this all in the first place so they do need time to process now that they know he isnt dead and dream continues to live near techno in almost full independence and eventually moves back with his friends even tho many still hate him. hes happy and for now thats enough. another foot note; even after xd leaves his being, he still has the extra eyes, glowy freckles n is xtra tall n shit that cant just be reversed but now that hes himself again these things take their tolls on human bodies so i think hed have something at least similar to arthritis bc of how his bones were literally manipulated bc of how strong ethereal magic or whatever is. so he would still wear the broken mask but he takes it off now and is ok with it being off hes working on getting better now that hes himself again and everyone living w/by techno is helping him with that. also i think that he would get blinks of xd's memories like from when techno was killing them and have sumn like ptsd panic attacks from it and techno feels super guilty abt it but theres literally nothing he can do except apologize and after the first few times dream stopped him from apologizing bc it is his fault but he didnt do it to him so it doesnt matter to dream at least and they live in pretty much harmony until dream finally moves back in w george and sap the end. he also started wearing the mask in the first place bc of the extra eyes but he played it off as being uncomfortable around new people and not wanting them to know what he looked like until he trusted them (bc that literally makes sense irl how funky is that) so sap and george never pushed him and when they caught him without it on on the rare occasion they wouldnt pressure him to leave it off or anything even tho they already knew what he looked like (when they respect ur boundaries </3) they just assumed that it was insecurity (it was but also mans had like 3 eyes so) and just left him alone

[ilygsd]

260119

ok se he called this friday (25/1) and asked to hang and i suddenly got my shit together i applied for a job, i started to wrap his christmas gift and make him this ugly card and plan for tomorrow etc etc

he had this ugly mask on that day. like this fake ass personality he has when hes out and im like ok so this is how its gonna be

we didnt event all abt the breakup

i was this close tp breaking down in front of him

yet he continues to tell me im pretty and asks me if i think he looks good and he was wearing those fkn glasses that makes him look hot and smart and i obsessed over them

ans then hes off buying a thing to his friend, hes all dressed ip and leaves me 2 h later for this friend and im like

okay

he said hed text me when he opened my present and he does

like 6 hours later when its 1 am and i guess he’s come home from his friend :——)

and hes over the top being weird and too much like ”omg thank u i LOVE IT ITS SO CURE IM GONNA SAVE IT”

and i low key wanna take it back bitch like that was when i loved u and u kinda liked me too

i dont want u to put my card together with the rest of the love letter shit uve gotten since the age of 10 when ppl started to confess to u

ughhhh im kinda PKSSEDDDDD

But then i tried to think more positivity because wow, positive is the new me :——)

and yeah maybe he just wanted to make ir easier for me, like im happy he didnt ghost me and that were still friends

but hey

then i asked him

did u for real break up over the phone

and hes like

it broke up after that night fight

and im like uhhhh so also over the phone??? and then u ignored me for several days???????

bitchhhhhhh

like i really was dumped i thought i was the one pushing him too far but jokes on me

i actually was dumped i had no idea that he broke up woth me back thEN

and i said why didnt u tell me

and hes like ”i said i cant deal with this negativity”

like oh yeah.............. uhm okay that was obvious.... not

and i also asked him why we’ee supposed to continue be friends and he dodnt even answer

SVSJSVKSJSLBEJDJSJSJSJJEJDJSJSUEURJSBS

I DONT WANT TO GET OVER GIM BUT I ALSO WANT TO

DO I EVENW ANT TO BE HIS FRIEND NO I WANT TO BE HIS DATE LMAO BUT I ALSO DONT BC THATS GONNA END THE SAME WAY OMGGGG I CANT BE HIS FRIEND AND SECRETLY HOPE FOR SMTH WHILE HES GETTING LAID ALL THE TIME I NEED TO FOCUS ON MYSELF AND GROW AND THEN JUST SEE HIM AS A FRIEND LIKE ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS BUT OMG I DONT VALUE MY FRIENDS IDK I DONT BOND WITH THEM UGHHHHH I ONLY BOND WITH ONE SINGLE PERSON AND THEYRE ALL THAT MATTERS FUCK FUCK FUCK WILL I HAVE TO WAIT FOR NEXT PERSON TO FALL VICTIM TO MY OBSESSIVE UNHEALTHY LOVE OR WILL I HOLD ONTO HIM AS LONG AS I CAN AND PUNISH MYSELF

why the fuck did he say i can still have his pics and his shirt (for awhile) like how TF IS THAT GONNA HELP ME DO U WANT TO TORTURE ME OR SMTH

omg chill no he’s just being kind and considerate

he even told u he could wear one of the shirts i bought him and give it back to me (for awhile?)

THINGS ARE SO WEIRDDDDDD HES SO WEIRDDDDD ITS SO AWKWARDDDDDD AND HIS EXPLANATION WAS

”well i cant just act all non human then we wouldnt be able to stay friends right”

LIKE WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN U STILL ACTED NON HUMAN U ACTED LIKE WHEN WE FIRST MET YOU ACTED LIKE A FKN SOCIOPATH WITH THAT WEIRD CHARM OF URS AND WHILE I FELL FOR THAT THE FIRST TIME IT JUST MADE ME FEEL LONELY AF BC WOW U RLY PUT ON UR MASK WITH ME 100% LIKE I DONT KNOW U ANYMORE ITS IVER U JUST ”friendship mode on” WHAT DO U EMAN WITH NON HUMAN ARE U ANGRY AT ME OR SMTH I BET U DONT EVENW ANNA BE WITH ME U JUST SEE IT AS UR RESPONSIBILYTY BC OF UR GOD DMAN WEIRD CODE U JUST WANT TO BE MATURE AND DO THE RIGHT THING AND STAY FRIEND WITH UR EXES BC THATS HOW NICE AND GROWN UP YOU ARE

OMGGGGGGG I KNOW ALL UR FRIENDS ARE GIRLS BUT ARE ALL OF THEM PPL YOUVE DATED?? LIKE AM I GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM TOO MAYBE EVEN LESS SINCE U COULD BY THIS FRIEND OF YOURS A PRETTY EXPENSOVE GIFT WHILE U CANT EVEN BUY ME ANYTHING BUT STILL WANT ME TO BE UR SUGAR MOMMA

omg im sk frustrated obviously i dint mean anything i write im just dead

i just really miss him

wow i dont even love him i just love what i thought he could give me

but i still want him

i want it

what he gave me

SAFETYYYYYYY

CAAAAAAAALM

i need emotional stability and self love in my liiiiiife

fuuuuuckkkkk meeeeeeeee

[thelifetimechannel]

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine being daehwi’s friend on p101 s3

a trainee after his own heart :’)

(( AS REQUESTED! // i love ur writing !! can i get a daehwi scenario where you guys are best friends bc you're also a trainee from brand new music and you participate in pd101 s3 and come in 3rd place like him,, and he confesses to you afterwards bc he's so proud of you ?? as fluffy as possible pls and thank u have a great day/night 💓 ))

u and daehwi have known each other ever since u became a trainee at bnm

altho u were a little intimidated at first, he was always ready to approach u with friendly tips and a smile, so it was only a matter of time before u became best friends

hes the type of friend to hype u up whenever u step on stage

(ure p sure one time he came to a performance w a sign tht said u were the “inventor of rap” lol)

u can both b super extra when ure supporting each other tbh

to u guys, theres nothing too grand or too extreme to express how proud u are of each other

of course when u decide to enter produce 101 for the 3rd season, hes super excited for u

(hes also super nervous but he doesnt want u to know tht)

he gives u constant tips and advice, always guiding u

“be careful of their editing,, evil mnet is no joke”

daehwi sends u so much support tht even when u cant contact each other once the filming starts, u know he’s cheering u on

and listen. the show is STRESSFUL

daehwi already knew how hard it could be so he kinda didnt want u to go on it

but he also wanted u to show off how talented u were?? what a struggle

ur initial performance was with a couple labelmates, some girls u were close with but now super comfortable with

u did a song tht daehwi helped produce bc hes a king of music and u adore everything he makes

anyways

ure proud to say tht u gave it all, and u end up with a b ranking

its not as good as daehwi, but ure still rlly proud of urself

as the days go on, things only get more and more stressful

bc of how well so many of the s2 boys did, this season everything is 1000x as intense bc they want to make sure tht only the most talented people move on

as hard as it is, u step up to the challenge, practicing as much as u can whenever u can

still, sometimes ull see other ppl struggling

even tho theyre not from the same company as u, u have the kind of heart tht makes u want to try and help them even if just a little

at first it was a little awkward for u to offer advice to the other trainees, but with everyone cramped and tired together, its hard not to start to bond

soon enough, word spreads abt how ure one of the sweetest and hardworking trainees in the competition, and it sends a huge boost in ur popularity

it helps tht ure cute as heck and a lot of fans noticed how brightly ur smile was even before the first ep aired

altho ure not super close with any one person in particular, a lot of the girls there are super friendly so its easy for u to drift around to hang out with different groups

mnet seems to love u bc when u watch some episode clips, they show how ure always flitting around and seem like a v popular trainee

plus theyve decided to highlight u as one of the rising stars of the show, editing clips to show off the amount of time u practice and improve, even from ur already-amazing initial performance

ure super lucky and u dont forget it

but ure still pretty sure tht all of daehwis advice from beforehand helped u a lot

u dont get a lot of time to think abt him tho, just bc everything moves so fast in the competition

still, sometimes when ure trying to rest after another long day of practice, u cant help but reminisce on some of ur more playful and relaxed memories with daehwi

somehow, word didnt really get out abt how close u two were until midway thru the season

it wasnt like u were intentionally keeping it a secret, but it didnt rlly come up for awhile

not when u were all busy just trying to get some airtime and become a better idol

anyways

when word gets out, all of the other girls are So Jealous

luckily for u everyones really sweet and only tease u abt it instead of being jerks

still, now a lot of them are asking u for his number

tbh although u and daehwi had never talked abt it, u dont remember him saying tht he ever liked anyone

and honestly, u didnt rlly think abt him dating someone until girls were coming up to u left and right, asking what he was like

with time, everyone calms down a little bit, but ure left trying to focus on practice instead of why the thought of him dating someone else bothers u so much

(its hard bc u know exactly why ure upset, but u dont know what ure going to do abt it)

mOVING ON

u rlly cant talk to daehwi often, but there are some occasions where the p101 staff let u make a phone call

if ure not calling ur family, u always use it to call him

u use the limited time to catch up, and he always showers u in support and compliments, telling u how hes watching every ep when it airs and is cheering u on

even tho u cant see him, u can imagine the way he smiles as he says it, and its enough to make u smile as well

as the days and performances move on u get closer and closer to the final stage

u havent always been at the top of the rankings, but uve still been doing pretty well esp recently w all of the positive attention tht uve been getting

u make it to the finale, and u cant help but hold ur breath the entire time

in this mass of people in the audience, its impossible to make out anyones faces, so u cant recognize if anyone came to support u

u cant help but hope tht somehow daehwi made it, but u know hes been so busy with his own practicing tht he probably doesnt have time

theres a section of past p101 winners somewhere else, but its even further away and harder to see with all of the bright lights

the next couple of hours go by both achingly slow and annoyingly fast

as the names slowly start to get called, u watch with a heavy heart as more and more people are cheered their way on to safety

honestly ure still kinda surprised tht u made it this far, since u started out only hoping to gain experience and a vague fanbase with the show

but now tht ure here, u cant help but hope tht u make it to the end

despite everything u find urself cheering on the other girls whenever theyre announced as a finalist

everyones crying and ure no better tbh

its getting to the top, just before they decide to go back and announce the final member of the group, and ur ranking of 10 last week suddenly seems far too low, esp as 3rd place is about to be announced

then out of nowhere, ur name is called

ur hands are shaking and u keep looking around bc is this rlly happening?? but everyones screaming and hugging u and ure like ??????????

u cant even string together proper thoughts at this point

somehow u make it to the other stage where one of the staff puts a microphone in ur hands and the cameras are all aimed towards u

honestly half the things u say are just random words of gratitude or names tht u can never forget

ur busy telling ur parents, rhymer, all the other girls, ur fans, abt how much u love them, tht for a second somehow u almost forget abt daehwi

thts when ur gaze flickers to a screen in the stadium where the camera is focused on daehwi cheering and tearing up from his spot somewhere w some of the other p101 boys

of course u have to end it with a “lee daehwi!!! i love u too!!!!!!!” bc even if u know most ppl will take it platonically, ure not sure if he’ll see it the same way

(u dont even know if u want him to or not)

u say one last thank u before ure practically skipping over to ur seat and u cant help but think tht ure SO HIGH UP

still, now tht u know where daehwi is, even tho u cant make out his face, u feel ur heart stutter knowing that he’s there cheering for u

the rest of the night goes by in a blur honestly

as soon as ure all let backstage to meet up w ur family/friends, u find urself being tackled by a combination of familiar faces

daehwi is laughing into ur side, arm slung around ur shoulder, as ur parents try to congratulate u thru their tears, and uve never felt happier

after an embarrassingly long time of hugging and crying, daehwi manages to pull u to a slightly less crowded and loud area

n hes like “listen,, y/n,,,, u know im rlly proud of u too right?? like i love u a lot”

and ure not even thinking abt what u said in ur speech, just nodding along happily bc above all else, daehwi is still ur best friend

but he looks at u and he cant rlly stop smiling either, but he grabs u by the shoulders to say “no, i rlly love u a lot”

so ure like “okay??? and??????”

and he keeps staring at u with this stupid grin on his face and then it hits u and ure like “oh. oH. OH!!!!!!”

so ure both just smiling at each other like idiots n ure like “i think i love u too??”

at tht he has this mock-offended face like “u THINK”

but ure both so so happy teasing each other and feeling like ure both on top of the world

tbh u spend so long standing there and giggling tht ur parents eventually drag u away from ur private spot bc “u cant stand there grinning forever” and “ur bf isnt the only one whos proud of u!!!”

ure both embarrassed but its impossible for either of u to wipe the smiles off of ur faces

u all spend the rest of the day celebrating and enjoying each others company and the company of the rest of ur family/friends, and u cant help but think tht this is one of the best moments of ur life

[seoschangbin]

i hope you had a safe flight rachel!!! n that you're enjoying your vacation so far🥰💞i'm glad the peergrade went better than expected!!! now you're freeeee💞💕n excuse me but you're sweeter AND cuter🥺🤲🏼hehe agreed!!! 2020 better be our years or else!!!! 😤my semester is called spring (which idg bc we start in the winter???) but yes!!! hopefully they go well😚💕wishing you the best for grad school n the whole process!!!💕uni just isn't really for me!!!🙇🏻‍♀️but ill try 2 get involved!!-🎁💫

it was a v safe flight there but the way back.. going to that minus degree weather 😭 and yes im FREE omg i forgot abt the peergrade for a hot sec cant even imagine if i still had to do it after vacation 😔 n no.. jem for cutest sweetest human 😩 i hope u can find smth that makes uni a bit better for u!! 🙇‍♀️

and now felix's selfies.... OKAY😐he really said hey stay pay attention to ME😭😭i can hear his scalp crying out but he does look handsome😚the future... what if that future is the 26th... what are these dudes doing rachel... a MIXTAPE???😭skz don't know how to rest huh😤when i was young i started with general dance and ballet! i can barely remember most of it anymore but at least i got sir lee as my freestyle dance teacher😎i cant wait to learn miroh and got7s lullaby!!! -🎁💫

me everytime im like: yea im over felix.. felix: i dont think some: ok sir.. ok ur right.. im not over u ....he looks so pretty lately im 😭 leave me alone bro... 😭 fuKCKN I cannot beliEVE we got a mixtape.. ok... i see how it is.. merry christmas to us thank u stray kids for feeding ur fatass well-fed fans... ooh ballet! is there a reason u wanted to pick it up again? :o nd oh lullaby i do love that got7 choreo + miroh ofc 💕 

okay me😭i'm so slow with skz schedule and i told myself i'd be chill with skz so everything just comes as a surprise!!! but yes!!! i think they have two more fansigns left??? or one... i just know there's at least gonna be another!!! :0 and omg rachel bin fansites have been providing so much, the amount of cute binnie hqs i've seen these past few days i😭i did actually!!! ticketing was a MESS for LA!!! but i was able to get tix luckily, P3 but hey i won't complain😎-🎁💫

jgsdkg this is why u cant leave skz for a hot sec.. me bein back = assault w content dont even knOW where to start... whack.. ooh i gotta go look at sku to see the fantaken pics theyre always the cutest 😩 omg i cant changbin fansites be like: Die hes so cute 😭 send me some hqs.. really goin thru it today! and omg im glad u got tix at least enjoy them for me 😔🤙

i hope skz go to canada and you can go!!! did they go to canada for unveil??? :0 if so, did you go??? :0 hehe yes let it be your mission!!! its actually super tough for people to get me to stan other groups but i believe in you😌💞mx ray!!! i'll definitely add it to my list!!! hehe🙇🏻‍♀️changbins muscles are made of love😭💕💞💕💞changbin is a beefcake but the beefiest thing about him... his Heart🥺🤲🏼-🎁💫

they did NOT come to canada for unveil 😞 there’s onyl been a couple of groups that i rmbr that have been to canada rip! omg... im on a mission jem... i have a long list of groups 😖 but mxray is honestly just so funny u dont even need to like mx to enjoy it theyre just ridiculous 😭 mjskgj VIBE his beefest heart muscles.. 🤧

LITERALLY... 😭i dont like aegyo or overly cutesy things and i first interpreted as changbin as just the cute bestie type but he got to me out of nowhere... like wow hand in marriage sir... you can do all the aegyo you want😔🤲🏼yes!!! my ultimate favorite (farming) game is harvest moon animal parade! as for favorite game hmmm i'll just say my current fave which is fire emblem three houses! def recommend!!! and yes animal crossing is the best! its so calming and cute😌💞-🎁💫

me watching aegyo: die. me watching changbin doign aegyo: ok maybe .... ur cute.... oooh ive heard rly great things abt fire emblem from my gamer friends 😌 im gonna add it to my list when i have some more time 😊

will be hoping those uv rays go a bit easier on you😣😤no worries rachel!!! i don't mind at all hehe, take your time n just enjoy your vacation😚💞and PLEASE i adore you too!!! rachel sweetest being💕💞💕💞💕💞and um excuse me take that back you aren't boring!!!😭today is christmas eve n its almost christmas!!! not 100% sure if you celebrate those but nonetheless!!! happy holidays💞💕hope they treat you well😌💞-🎁💫

i didnt get that much sun sadly but it was nice thank u uv rays for not burning me to a crisp 😌 i adore u as ive said 500 times.... thank u for the gifset as well i was so 😭😭 when i saw it!!! and sorry to be so late but i hope u had a lovely christmas as well if u celebrate 💕💕

[dangkinronpa]

positivity for maki whos age regressing and dissociating

ur positivity is under the cut maki, and ill get started on ur aesthetic once this posts

maki, im really sorry to hear about everything that just happened to u and made u age regress, and the things that u felt sound pretty scary. no matter how scary it was, though, ur going to be alright now, and things are going to be alright. if ur still scared about what happened, u should take a few deep breaths and try to calm urself down; if u have anything that helps u calm down, such as a hobby or a stuffed animal possibly, u should try to use that during a time like this

when u start dissociating, u should try to use ur senses as much as u can in order to observe ur surroundings. for instance, try to think about what the room smells like, or take note of the way certain things u touch might feel. doing this will help to keep u grounded, so if u think u can do it, try to focus on the world around u and keep ur mind from traveling too far. even if u do dissociate, trying to focus on the world around u and use all ur senses can help to keep u a little bit more grounded, so that u dont dissociate like u did before u regressed again

once everything has started to calm down, u should try to figure out what it was that made u dissociate, and work towards cutting it out of ur life. if it was something along the lines of stress, then u should try to cut back on the amount of stress u feel. if it was someone in ur life, try and talk to them a little less. of course, theres also the fact that u might not know what made u dissociate, and thats alright. if this happens often, it could be a combination of all the things that normally make u dissociate. no matter what it is, im sorry that it made u dissociate, and hopefully u can cut it out of ur life. im here for u even if u cant, though

going through such a big dissociation is pretty scary, and i know that it might have felt pretty bad while it was happening, but i promise that ur okay now and that things are going to be alright. u arent in some floaty space, and ur not going to end up in some floaty space. if u start dissociating again, it might help u to try and remember that ur going to be alright, and that nothing bad is going to happen to u. as long as u hang in there, i promise that everything will be alright, and that everything is alright right now

maki, im really sorry to hear that uve been regressing because of some dissociation, but i promise that ur alright and that everything is going to be okay. even if things get bad again, which i hope they dont, u can always talk to someone, even if its just the people on this blog. no matter what happens, i promise that ur going to be alright and that ull be feeling better soon. until then, though, please do the best that u can to take care of urself

please stay safe maki, and if u want someone to talk to im always here

- mod kiibo

[sol1loqu1st]

hi i want to talk abt foi bc its legit among the coolest things ive done; this is long as Fuck but the book is longer i just really wanna talk,, abt this,,

it’s a high fantasy set on the northernmost side of a huge desert (a sea borders its northern side; beyond the sea is a country filled with plains and forests)

there were seven tribes (i still need to look up definitions and see if thats the most accurate term for what im goin for; im thinking abt just using ‘city’ tbh but yknow) in the desert:

-the riches tribe, whose people could shape gemstones and metals (think metalbending but add precious stones in the mix; each person can only control one thing and ur power is usually decided by the stars or some shit)

-the elements tribe, who could control the forces of wind, fire, water, or stone (now LITERALLY think atla; powers are passed down genetically and a few people can control two elements if their parents controlled different ones)

-the land, sky, and sea tribes, who could control animals related to their tribe (land tribe ppl can also learn to turn into their favored animal, sky tribe ppl grow wings as toddlers, sea tribe ppl can breathe underwater & usually live in the sea on the northern border of the desert bc they dont do well on land; powers are decided based on the animals’ preferences – e.g. if ravens had a specific affinity for a kid in the sky tribe the kid would grow raven wings and be able to communicate with and eventually control ravens)

-the time and space tribes, who destroyed each other 60 years ago, and have the power to speed, slow, or even stop time during the hour of their birth, or manifest physical objects from glowing blue energy that makes up everything in the world (also can see in the dark, i guess?)

60 years ago, a huge war happened between the seven tribes, wiping out the space tribe completely (except for one person; more on that later) and destroying all but 200 of the time tribe, who repopulated to about 1,000, and ruining a Lot of stuff in the other five tribes. for the most part the remaining 5 tribes (minus the time tribe for Reasons) have rebuilt themselves but hints of the past war linger. no one is aware that the time tribe survived (they rebuilt their city FAR from the original location). the time and space tribes faded from public consciousness pretty quickly since all their historical records were destroyed; most of the knowledge about them now is legends and myths

in the present day, 5 children (one from each of the remaining tribes) who lost various loved ones to the same glowing blue knives (created, ofc, by the surviving member of the space tribe, ebon (…courtesy of 2012 me’s genius naming skills, they’re all gonna be like this it’s part of the aesthetic), though the kids dont know that or even recognize it as a space tribe power) are approached by an old man (guess who! its ebon) who claims to be the last surviving member of the space tribe and apparently has evidence that the time tribe is plotting revenge and theyre the ones that killed the kids’ families and he speaks of a supposed prophecy that 5 kids who the time tribe had stolen from are gonna defeat the time tribe once and for all

the kids (and at this point, hopefully the reader too) are the wrong kind of genre savvy, and believe they’ve been approached by gandalf or some shit, and each end up Accepting The Call

(meanwhile back at the time tribe, the king and his rebellious teenage son talk about the future of the time tribe. teenage son, midnight (heyy GUESS what hour hes able to use his powers) learns to use Time Powers that are suspiciously dissimilar to the ones ebon was talking abt the ppl from the time tribe being able to use. midnight uses his powers to get more sleep bc his dad kinda overworks the shit out of him bc like the future of this horrifically unstable and tiny city is in midnight’s hands, basically, and we learn that Its Dangerous bc if u get stuck slowing down/speeding up time after ur 1 hour is up u basically become Time Tobias and ur trapped like that Until You Die)

if uve made it this far i think its time for a proper introduction to the 6 protags of part 1 (another is added in part 2 but we’re not there yet)

-eagle, from the sky tribe, a Massive Fuckin Jock Who Loves To Sport. shes 14 and pretty athletic but tends to chicken out when shit gets tough and so never makes it to the Fly Sport Playoffs. shes a Massive Optimist at first but then she finds her parents dead (hint: it was ebon). she deals with this throughout the novel i hope im writing her well lmao because i wanted it to have a Legit Impact on her character and not just be angst. A N Y W A Y she instantly pegs ash and emerald as The Rich Kids (ash is legit a rich kid, emerald is just from the riches tribe where they traditionally sew gems and shit into their clothes) and judges em for it

-snake, from the land tribe, a 13yo, Lonely Autistic who loves reptiles. (ok i mean. this is high fantasy and im really not sure if autism is a diagnosis in high fantasy. ive done my absolute best to code her as autistic and she is in fact autistic i just dont say it in canon bc idk how to bring it up) ppl dont like her at first because she comes across as cold but actually shes like the most adorable fuckin dork youve ever seen shes great. she doesnt talk hardly at all unless shes Super Comfortable around the people shes with, which is a challenge for me to write but tbqh shes my absolute favorite of the bunch,, also her only friend ever was a thief named lore who was (supposedly) killed by GUESS FUCKEN WHO

-ash, the 14yo daughter of one of the 4 ruling families of the elements tribe. her family’s genetic power is fire but she could never figure it out (later she discovers her power is actually water; im…..still figuring out how that works genetically she might just be adopted lmao) ebon brought her the news of her parents’ deaths and managed to kill her little sister while her back was turned; somehow she does not suspect him. shes kind of a snob and doesnt really /get/ the rest of the group and comes across pretty rude at first. (also, she and eagle deal w their very recent grief very differently but idk her exact Grief Arc yet)

-emerald, who i think is? 12? 13? i cant remember but somewhere around there; shes from the riches tribe, was orphaned as a toddler and raised by supposedly extinct desert dragons (which are basically 12-20ft desert iguanas), which were all wiped out horribly by more of ebon’s shit space weapons. she lived with ash’s family for a while when they were years younger but eventually emerald got blamed for ash’s lack of control over fire and was forced to leave, she found the riches tribe and discovered that she could metalbend emeralds lmao. shes a storyteller and raises money for orphans now i guess

-shark, a scrappy homeless 10yo from the sea tribe who will steal anything shiny enough. he has pointy teeth and an eyepatch (which covers a golden sphere in place of his eye) and hes reckless as fuKC. he was too young to remember his parents but when questioned about it he remembers blue knives (GUESS WHO). hes pretty unaware that sharks are infact chaotic neutral sea predators who do not give a shit about him even if he can communicate with them and he starts the novel with a Pretty Serious Bite Injury™. he takes a lot of shit apart and puts it back together in horrifying ways. yknow sid from toy story? basically thats shark if sid lived underwater and was portrayed as a fundamentally good person

-midnight, the 16yo prince of the time tribe, a Rebellious Teen™ who doesnt want responsibility and has Horrible Insomnia. he thinks his dad is Evil And Controlling and probably listens to heavy metal behind his back (meanwhile his dad is actually pretty decent just busy as Fuck trying to keep the time tribe from accidentally inbreeding collapsing and trying to show midnight how to lead; hes overprotective but not evil). he broke a pattern of various people born at midnight/noon alternating every century and people think hes Destined For Greatness™ or some shit; he is having absolutely none of that will someone let this child sleep instead of waking him up in the middle of the night to practice magic

anyway yea thats p much all ive edited so far and tbqh i dont remember a whole lot of details but That Is My Book!

[deemargarine-shtuff]

Wow OK so Yeah-26 June 2017

sooo i have been doing contemplation lately... its wat prophet muhammad would have done in times of trouble..and...you can really let go of the person you used to be if you want to....things happened for a reason, and if you cant see it,its ok..its not meant to be understood by humans anyways,,coz its god’s planned, He who is omnipotent, can never be understood by a mere being, urms ..soo.... yeah...you know funny thing is no matter how far i try to run, i’d always come back to the idea of God, Supreme Being, Higher power, just..even if i tried to rationalized everything,,trying to not let emotions get in the way..but urm..a research showed that the best decision is made by balanced usage of logic thinking and emotions...ok,as humans i dont know how we can measure that balance,,hahah, ok so i hadnt shut my emotions entirely during my journey and times of chasing the truth..and still,,i kept coming back to the idea of monotheism,,,the one Almighty God, the only One you need to hold on to,to make the most out of,,,well...LIFE...and i found out that the only thing that we need in this cold harsh world is something to hold on to, no matter if its a fav song,fav tv show,,,fav celebs...just something to look forward to every.single.fucking,day.of.your.life. huh...so..i guess everything needs a conclusion these days..thou the truth is rather vague...i mean seriously,none in this world we can really understand tbh...you tryna improve peoples lives,thats when you make mother nature mad,you try to master exam taking,thats when you yeah,make mother nature mad..i mean..helloooo those papers..you wont even remember most of what u tried to put in ur head...you try to get a sibling to get a ‘proper job’ instead uve hurt her,as she has her own passion ,vision,mission in life,,that only she understands and she deserves to make it a reality coz..well..its her one and only her life....as im writing this,,im hearing to the vampire diaries soundtrack on youtube,its really good,,soo what do i hold on to?? i think the answer would be ..God,yep,God,,, when i hold on to my faith for God, everything seems easy and worth it an ive always had a beastly drive to fucking crush it..nope,not violence-ish...i meant like ..try to live my best in this life thingy...yeah TVD also plays a whole part of what i believe  in but it all boils down to what i  seek, comfort,spiritual and emotional comfort and i found it stronger through holding on to God,knowing that the Creator of this universe knows what He is doing,and the only worry i have to have is how much have i done to live my life towards His path , which is basically,just be a fucking good person...hmmm..okayyy...bye folks...hahahhaha :D

[cocona]

hi ! theres a girl ive been interacting alot w/ on twitter n she even made me a playllst but we've never dm'd. I really want us to but im scared of alot of things.. like that im shy n i dont wanna mess anything up.. and that im questioning my sexuality ( im a girl btw!) and i dont wanna drag her into it... and that she lives far away and it may not even seem worth it? i feel really torn but i really like her as well and i just dont know how to sort out these feelings? im just really scared..

hi ! this is gonna get pretty lengthy.. but . dont be afraid to message her.. i cant rlly make an in depth reading abt someone uve never talked to ya feel? theres a lot to unwind here.. and whats more, u cld make a friend ! even if u like her,, theres no reason why u wouldnt text her and start a friendship w her. then youd know. maybe eventually u can let her know abt ur concerns... anyway, onto the reading.

the cards i pulled were: the devil (15), the two of cups, the two of wands

i can already say tht. this is rlly a you problem, bcos u guys have a lot lot in common and have similar ideas abt life. u guys might live far away from each other but there is certainly sth to be explored between u two. now the devil card shows tht theres sth in u ure feeding into tht is highly negative and thts bad for u n everyone involved in there. i think it’s the way u approach ur sexuality. yk. u wont be a bad person if u allow urself to feel things. ud be a bad person if u used others to do things u wldnt do otherwise. it’s not bcos u crush on someone n are still figuring out ur sexuality tht it makes u necessarily someone worth avoiding. when the devil shows up in a reading, it’s reminding u to look into ur negative mechanisms n to obliterate them ! this shows a viscious n unhealthy bond w sth or someone,, here it’s ur approach to sexuality fr... a bond isnt negative as long as u dnt feed it anything. as for the rest... u guys have a lot of potential tbh just go for it !! moonology card: new moon, “it’s a fresh start!”

[turningpointswho-blog]

Dreamed. Regrets. Means

15/11/2018

Ive never felt more depressing than before. It really kills me inside. That I have broken up with the girl I truly loved and wants a future with.

This girl, smart, very good personality for me, treats me well, pretty, hot. I never liked girls with a good typical pretty face. She wears make up with eye line but even without it I think she is perfect and I’d kill for even be able to look at her makeup-less face everyday. But her... I regret so much about how I treat her this 1 year 10 months...

I always had so much pride on. Dont wanna fall for her cus truth is when I fall, I fall deep, my heart is at the right place but my defence machanism and pride tells me not to do it. Now shes gone. She care about me when I feel low, she loved me so much and devoted to me. But I didn’t, I was selfish and self-centered she made me. A guy who loved party and woman. Loyal, I was very playful and she accepted that, hoping id change. And after a year. I did. She became the love of my life. Yet I didnt give her what she wants. WE had so much fun together and I always thought the fun could mend what goes in her mind every night. Im so selfish and foolish, but non of these can be fixed. shes so determined. We are notgetting back tgt.

Everyone tells me ‘I thought u guys were serious’, ‘ u guys look so alike’, ‘u guys are perfect tgt’. What am I left with now. My actions had caused this. She is young and has a long way to go. I just cant believe me and her had to end just like this. Having her in my arm was just like yesterday. How she lean on me. Look at me smiling. I cant stop thinking. Why do we have to break up? I cant focus on my interveiew and exams, am I supposed to love again, or wait for u to get a bf before I finally start griefing and move on? She didnt even delete her photoes on instagram with me she just archieved it. What are you thinking? what more can I do? I am not suitable to go to interviews atm. I finally fall for you and you turn around and tell me ‘ you dont need this right now’ what happened to all those promise.? 2nd Anniversaries, birthdays? If God, please, give me one last chance to meet her again in my later life. When I have my career and everything settled. I will make her the luckiest woman. I will. I will know how to deal with her. make her happy, give her space. But Im acting so weak now. This is not me, but you hurt me so bad I’d even prefer that ive never met you before. If you were originally that kind of inch tough personality then I know. But now uve changed. To a personality I have never experienced. You always told me not to change for u. That I should be myself, how come you have always not been yourself all these time? Lied to me?

Girl I really miss you, I am irrational against you now I admit. I really miss you. Everything I do, everywhere I go I see your smile in my vision. How can I forget you. Why have I cried so much for you. This is not me. God, give me another chance, change me. But you, you said you dont want to see me anymore. 

You don’t think we should meet anymore.

I have only truly loved 2 woman in my life so far, both, broke my heart so bad. This one, she’s not gonna leave my heart. She will never. Please, let me meet her again, I want to accomplish everything I shoulda done with her. She competely changed me. I am just not who I am anymore.

sorry for bothering you, our times together... I cant even continue.

Take care Crystal, if fate really hears me and let our path cross again. When you are ready...

Next time I type you would either be I passed written or failed. I will talk to her sister, I dont hope anything, but at least you are still within reach. I will not bother you again, every more time I talk to you, you seem more harsh, and not love me anymore, I cant face the fact once more. Let me change, back, and integrated. If we cross again. You will see a different me, and I will not disappoint you again. When you are ready, come back, when you turn around, I will be right behind waiting for you.

This non-structure writing of feelings is naive, but I feel better now.

[dangkinronpa]

positivity for nanami who isnt happy with their life right now

ur positivity and advice (if u dont mind me combining the two) is under the cut

nanami, i know life can be really hard, and being happy isnt always easy, but im sure ull be able to work through ur problems! i might not know ur current situation, but i know u shouldnt give up! even if its little by little, im sure ur life will start getting better!

while i dont know why ur unhappy with ur life, i can try to help u a bit. there are plenty of ways to better urself, if u want to focus on self improvement. u can set a major goal, and then create smaller goals to focus on before getting to ur bigger goals. tell urself how good ur doing each time u reach a goal, and remind urself how far uve come. these small goals can be as small as u need them and take as long as u need them, but u have to keep working on them. this usually works for a variety of aspects in life, such as weight or debt related issues

if u dont believe ur situation can be helped by setting goals, i would try to escape the situation if at all possible. for instance, if ur unhappy because of a toxic friendship, and u dont think theres any way to repair the damage, it might be time to cut off ties with this person. if the situation is unavoidable, then i would try to find healthy ways to cope and figure out how to turn the negative situation into a positive one (or, theres also the option of leaving once the chance opens up)

if ur going through the process of grief, then its alright to feel upset. grieving is a natural process, and everyone has to deal with loss in their life. if this is ur problem, i want to remind u that its alright to be upset at a time like this, and losing loved ones always hurts. u shouldnt feel bad about needing to cry and being unhappy. the grief will pass, and if u really dont want to continue mourning, i would try to remember happy times u had with the person ur grieving over instead of the way that they left u

however, if ur unhappiness is something u dont believe can be fixed by these suggestions, then theres always the option of working to change ur mindset towards a specific issue. try to find the positives in life, look at all the things that make u happy, and try to find a more optimistic pov. this way, u feel better about something that once made u unhappy

most importantly, though, i want to remind u that u cant give up just because ur life is currently unhappy! whatever is happening in ur life, i know u can pull through it! im sorry if my advice didnt really help, and if it makes u feel any better u can ask for me to redo this, and i wont mind. please remember that ur safety and wellbeing is important, nanami, and i hope life gets better for u. im always open if u need somebody to talk to, and i want u to take care of urself. i hope u feel better soon, nanami

- mod kiibo