#like i look back on old things i've posted

[factual-fantasy]

27 asks! Thank you!! :}} 🔮

Oooo very cool! I hope you have fun with it!! :DDD And as for how I make a story it kind'a depends-

For Grimace, Sylvester and the rest of the gang.. well that was just my Violet team. I gave them personalities that I thought would suit them and just.. went from there I guess? <:D

For Conkeldurr, Zuora, Emboar and the 4 piglets.. well, it started with just thinking about Conkeldurr and how much I like that Pokémon. I pictured him as a Gentle giant and imagined how fun it would be to draw him with some other tiny Pokémon that he adopted. I went through the Unovan pokédex and picked a Zuora because she was small and fluffy <XD

After making a post about them I wanted to give Conkeldurr a friend. Well I like the Emboar line so hey why not do that? She can be a mama Emboar to switch it up and she can have 4 kids. Why not? Since I didn't draw her in that first post, I made the story they they went their separate ways for a time but now they're back together.

I honestly don't have solid concrete advice I can offer- I just think "hey this would be neat" and slap it on there. Or I think "hey this scenario would be fun to draw" and so I structure the events and story to make the characters run into this scenario in a reasonable way. That's really all I do.. <:D

@beryl-shade

I've seen Markiplier play it :0 Its.. well its something! <:D

(Referencing this post)

<XD I never understood why they made him Spanish, the sudden guitar noise is always a jumps care XDDD

@shiny-is-miney

Humans do not exist in any of my Octonauts AUs, nor have they ever <:/

@catain-skyler1987

I do not <:/ sorry!

@nwo-metalscottic

Daww,, thank you 🥹🥹🥹its been rough these past.. how ever many months- my health is still poor and I still am glued to my bed/the couch 24/7.. but I'm hoping to finally see some improvement soon.. and I hope you feel better too! <:))

Any who, I'm glad to hear your views on Conkeldurr! :D Some people can be kind'a harsh :x As for the Tepigs, I can see them sticking around even after evolving into Pignites. They love their mama and would have no desire to leave her.. 🥺

As for what threatens them.. when they were apart, I kind'a image any meat eating Pokémon that thinks they could take them in a fight would be a threat. Or perhaps territorial Pokémon or protective parents that would see a big Pokémon coming near and just attack on instinct.

Now that the two of them are together, they have a lot less trouble with random Pokémon. They're a much bigger challenge to take on as a team. Plus I can see Zuora walking with them disguised as a second Emboar or Conkeldurr. Creating a group that looks like three macho parents that will fiercely protect their piglets.

As for the Minecraft movie, here's the thing about the Piglins. In the actual game they turn into Zombie Piglins the moment they leave the Nether. Why are they still normal Piglins despite running through a village??

And a Netflix show... uhg.. I'm just not interested. I feel like Minecraft looses all its charm when you convert it into a show or movie. And especially if you mess up Steve as badly as they did. Jack Black.. that's the worst casting I can think of.🤦

This is so cool! It feels like it could be canon to the Pokémon universe! :DD

Also thank you so much!! :)))

I have! :0 I watched 8-bitryan play some of it! :) ALSO THANK YOU!! :DDD

@cicutagreninja

WOW!! :00 THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD I plan to return to it someday!! :)))

@astaherussy (Referencing this post)

I think I put that on almost out of habit <XD when I picture old abandoned houses I imagine notes stuck to the door warning of debts and bills that need to be paid lest the owners get evicted. So I drew that because it felt fitting!

..Only just now did I realize that the old owners were supposed to be a mystery.. if there was any at all. So having that note on the door doesn't really make sense.. 😅

ALSO WAAHG THANK YOU!! :DDD

I've seen the FNAF movie and I've seen multiple Youtubers play all the FNAF games. Though I haven't played through any of them myself. :00

As for what I thought of them.. I have a place in my heart for all the games. From the lore jumbling ruin DLC, to the classic first game, I'm a total sucker and I love them all.💞💞

The movie wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I adored the inclusion of MatPat and the intended inclusion of Markiplier. There were some aspects I didn't like and a lot of missed opportunities in my opinion. And of course the lore is all outa whack..

None the less, I think the movie is charming. And my love for FNAF has only strengthened upon the movies release :))

@i-only-created-this-to-read

Since Metagross isn't in Black/White (Its in Black/White 2) I wont be looking into that species for a bit.. and I wont be looking at Mega evolutions-

As for a Quantum slime equivalent, I have no intentions to make equivalents for all the slimes- I didn't add trubbish to be an equivalent to pinks. I just noted that Trubbish are a common slime that can eat anything, just like pinks are :0

The slimes and foods I add will be their own thing. Not intending to replicate or replace any of the canon slimes or fruits/veggies/meats from slime rancher. If that makes sense-

@petrichormeraki

I don't really have any proper name ideas for them 😅 I've just been calling them the shiny one, the normal one, the runt and the big one. XDD

Also thank you!! :DDD

Oooo that's really interesting actually! :000 That would have been a much more tame version of my Zuoras story <XDDD

@pigeonsplural

SLAKJDJ THANK YOUUU!! :)))0

*plotting noises......

(Referencing this post)

This ask will be very relevant soon.. 😈 Also thank you! :)))

@roughsketch2010

WAHGG THANK YIU SOMUCH!! :DDD

@kermit-ydafrog

Daww 🥹 Thank you! MY question is why are you so kind?? :DDD

I've heard of it and seen a lot of fanart, but i never got into it myself😅

Thank you for remembering my boundaries and respecting them! <:) And yeah that paints a pretty vivid picture in my head XDDD

@holly-opal

He would have been a better voice for Bowser then Jack Black in my opinion..

@fandomcenteral

WAAHHG THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD And its still a surprise to me that I'm considered a celebrity :00 I hope people aren't intimidated to send me asks because of that.. <:D

@muncho1234 (eye post in question)

Peso, Dashi, Tunip and Ranger Marsh have no eye bags because they have decent sleeping schedules and diets. :0 The rest of the characters either have poor sleeping schedules, deal with a lot of stress, or are very hard workers and burn up all their energy throughout the day.. :(

Oh boy 💀

@minnesotamedic186 (Eye studies post) (Kwazii and Calico Jack hug post) (Ranger Marsh jump scare post)

WAAHGG THANK YOU!!! :DD I ALWATS LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE NOTICE THE DETAILS I PUT IN!! :))))

@caronaro-flipaclip

<XD While I agree with this, I cant help but get red in the face when people like/reblog my old artwork.😅😅 And there's nothing wrong with that! It just shows how far I've come! :)

[stitchedcosmos]

Abt the Orcatstra stuff

TLDR: I've looked through their posts as well as others and I can't find any proof they did anything wrong. Orca making NSFW art, saying they don't like a ship and blocking people who like that ship is completely normal and you shouldn't take it personally.

Long ver:

People in the DSAF fandom (mainly Tumblr) are freaking out about a take Orcatstra made on shipping Jack with Harry, Jake and/or Rodger, allegedly harassing people who ship them, one case being running a 14/15-year-old off the website and making NSFW art, mainly gore.

About the ship: I think Orcatstra's take is completely understandable. "Oh but the phone can leave" and "Oh but he treats them well in the Good ending" doesn't matter. At the end of the day, whether he treats them well or not is completely irrelevant. Jack can choose at any time whether they live or die. When he fires them, they get murdered. He has power over them and that is a power imbalance that a lot of people are going to be uncomfortable with. In cases like Dave, Matt, Steven or Henry, if things don't go well between the two, they have the ability to leave with no fear of something bad happening to them. The phones on the other hand, could get fired (die) if they're not on Jack's good side with just a simple phone call. Even if they left, they literally mention Afton Robotics hunting down escaped phone guys and a simple phone call telling AR one's gone rouge is all it takes. Doing this after getting pissed off by them or whatever, is completely in character for Jack to do (especially legacy). People bring up that Jack treats them well in the good ending but how about all the other routes? Especially in the Legacy routes, Jack treats them like shit and actively uses this power imbalance against them on multiple occasions. People bring up Davesport as a retort to this, bringing up how utterly devoted Dave can be, but Dave when treated like this usually fights back or distances himself away from him, neither is something the phones can do without fear of getting killed. At the end of the day, it all comes down to how you headcanon Jack to act, but the power imbalance is definitely enough to put a lot of people off. Also, as a POC myself, I don't think them saying it felt like "Owner x Slave" to them, was racist.

About the blocking: Blocking people is something people are allowed to do for whatever reason they like. If someone posts content you don't like, the normal response most people have is to block them. Whether you feel the block is "deserved" or not, doesn't matter. Hell, sometimes I block people over a single post or comment they make because I simply disagree with it so much. Blocking people is completely okay under literally any circumstance.

About harassment: I have found no proof of this. Seriously. I've looked through multiple people's accounts, including Orca's and have found nothing. I'm even seeing people ask for proof and being told the person has none. the dsaf confessions account keeps getting brought up as proof of someone who got harassed but looking at both their posts and Orca's, from what I've seen, no harassment happened. From what I can tell, all of this is a complete misunderstanding where Orca talking about not liking the account got interpreted as Orca bullying them. If they don't like them and want to post about not liking them, they have the right to do that.

Edit: Just remembered this so I’ll quickly add it now, people are shouting at orca 4 “harassing a minor” but they’re a minor themselves.

About NSFW: They're allowed to draw it. DSAF is an NSFW series and therefore has A LOT of NSFW topics, subjects, scenes and characters in it. If someone wants to draw that, they have the right to. If you don't like it, block them. Some people are saying they should tag their gore art and while I personally agree with that, if they don't want to, they have every right not to. It's their blog and if you don't like it, just block them and move on. "But what if a child sees it" on Tumblr, you can only see what you search up or are personally interested in, a child shouldn't be looking at DSAF-related content in the first place because, again, it is an NSFW series.

Overall, my thoughts on the matter are... *drum roll*

It's not that serious and the block button is free. If you don't like someone, what they're doing, what they're posting, block them. It's that simple and getting blocked doesn't mean anything. This situation, as well as others like it, are making me fear that most of you aren't old enough to even know what DSAF is, let alone be in the fandom.

[mariyekos]

New DMC Anime Trailer Breakdown Part 2

Hit the image limit on Part 1 so to a new post we go!

This guy that Dante punches has a bunch of metal on his face, and what might be a prosthetic, might just be a metal glove. What's interesting is this anime has Dante fighting a lot of humanoid characters, which is a little bit of a departure from some of the games, but honestly not that crazy. He does fight people from time to time across various media, and in the DMC1 Novel we even hear about the people who hunt him down. What has me interested here is whether this guy is fully human, or if he's been modified in some way, and if he's been modified, if he'll have any demonic traits or it'll just be the metal. It would be interesting to contrast a human trying to transcend normal human limits through human means (by making themself into a machine) with Arkham, who is a human trying to transcend humanity by using demonic power to achieve godhood.

Skipping a bit so if you want to see the things between the last two images please go to my previous post where I ran out of room. As for the two green/turtle-like demons Dante fights on the rooftop, I've got to say I'm a little disappointed in some of the demon design. I love how creepy/demonic a lot of DMC demons are, and while some of them would probably be hard to animate, I feel like they still could've been more...I don't know. Creepy looking? Compare it to the Hell Gluttony from DMC3, which is a much creepier/more scary DMC cloaked enemy. Not sure if the demon above was meant to call back to these guys, but I think it would've been fun to have some references to DMC enemies even with the generics.

As for the shot above this, seeing this shot all I could think was "infested chopper" and I haven't even played DMC2. I've just seen the memes. '

Zooming in I'm not sure who this guy is supposed to be. (Right image comes from later in the trailer). It can't be Agni because we've already seen him and the blade doesn't match. This demon wields a sword and has something in the middle of his chest though. I have a feeling that's going to be important. (Also complete crackpot theory: this guy's hair is a similar color to the pendant(?) from earlier, but surely this can't be related). He looks mutated, with more spikes emerging from his right arm, so I wouldn't be surprised if this was a human turned demon or something.

Looking at the gatling gun and missile heading toward an armored truck, I wonder if the military is going to get involved in this one. Police officers showed up a few times in the old anime, and the military DID come for the Qliphoth incident in DMC5, so it's possible the military may intervene in this one. That the missile is heading for an armored truck is interesting though. Are there two human factions at war with each other? Will this missile be deflected? Will it be just the military, or will there be groups like the ones we see Dante fighting that may get involved? The giant portal to Hell that opened up in the sky could definitely draw attention.

Then we have red eye/ red sclera Dante while fighting mysterious red guy from above! Interesting. We see that in the DMC3 manga too (assuming his sclera are meant to be red here instead of black). Both he and Vergil do it.

I'll probably also do a write up on overall thoughts, but I'll cut it here so I can link these posts. Edits to come!

[euryvices]

weird things about my town that lowkey remind me of tma

god, this is going to be a long post.

okay so. i grew up in a town in the middle east (about 200 people), with my bestfriend Whom I Will Not Shut The Fuck Up about apparently, and it was a strikingly different experience to most people who've grown up in the middle east, or in america. it was yk, a rich people town, populated and run mostly by generational wealth owners. as a result, our town was very hush-hush, despite it being in the Crackass Of Nowhere.

i started listening to tmagp about two months back, under the instructions (*cough cough coercion cough cough*) of my lovely moots (im looking at you @forflightlessbirds and @need-a-name-101) i've noticed a few things which may be...off.

the first thing i need to clarify are the rules. we had five of them, that nobody really stuck to, but we all knew of. the rules in and of themselves are normal things any parent tells their child, but weirdly specific. there weren't really any repercussions if we didn't stick to the rules - but most of the time, we didn't like breaking them. they were, as follows :

don't tell strangers your real name, and if you do, run and tell the head of the community center.

if people approach you about 'coming to god' (i.e, christian/muslim/jewish missionaries) tell them god has moved.

do Not enter the junkyard at night. (we broke this one)

always carry a knife. most of us were given jade knives, but my bestfriend got a gold one. ive teased him about it most of our lives, even after we shifted.

take a buddy with you everywhere, and if you can't find one, don't go out.

me and my brother have broken all these rules about once at least, except for the knife one and the junkyard. me and my bestfriend broke the junkyard one though. we shifted together when we were barely teens. first, we lived in the uk, then in the states. we headed back home and barely spoke for a year before he died, at the ripe old age of 17. i miss him, but thats not the point.

it was only after we moved, that we realized how truly Fucked Up our town was. we were living in the middle of war ravaged county, and we had swimming pools, and ipads, and sunset cocktails? obviously i didn't realise it as a kid, as a pre-teen even - but looking at it from the outside feels like a gut punch.

now here's where im going to yap about the similarities between tma and my shitstorm of a childhood and hopefully Will Not Piss Anyone Off. if you're from my town - you'll know exactly what im talking about, and i seriously hope you reach out and/or message me.

the things everyone knows the things. they're just. there. kinda like the bogeyman your mom scares you with when you don't eat lunch except most of us have just accepted that they're real

old man hanna if you've lived here, you know him. he's weird, he's kooky, and he's got a million books and tape recorders and vinyls. he's maybe the only person in that place that doesn't come from money. he hates electronics, says they can't capture things the way old school stuff does

the graves now, our town is mainly christian. uber arab christian. we've got graves, we've got cemeteries. but outside it, on the outskirts, lie a long line of unmarked graves. are they from the arab-israeli war? the gulf war? lord knows

the 2015 blackout this was the creepiest thing that happened here. the blackout, and then the radio stations playing that reading of the bible? my parents shut everything off and rushed me and bulos to the master bedroom

the skydiving institute i have no idea if the government approved this godforsaken place, but it was there. it led to the disappearance of nahren, who was deathly afraid of heights but she said she was ready to face her fears

the church when i shifted to the uk, i saw the proceedings of the greek orthodox church there. and let me tell you - it's so different to our church. for starters, our church doesn't even seem to have any affiliation to the goc, even though it should?? the entire thing is so different

the pond now this is rather controversial. our town's pond was created in the early 70's, but no one knows How or Why. realistically, there shouldn't have been any water supply that far inland. and the water should not be that salty. we don't acknowledge it, and no one drinks from it, even if its really hot. there's a sign outside that asks parents to hold their children tightly when passing by the pond

the soldiers they're mainly american (at least the one i met was), but they rarely enter our town. and when they do, they can only stay in one specific motel - we're not allowed to talk to them. once i did, though. im still...fucked up from it

there's a lot more, but i don't think y'all wanna know about my fucked up town anymore. just writing this is giving me the heebie-jeebies.

we usually aren't allowed to leave our town once we're in it. but my dad got special permission for us to leave, before the divorce. so we did. and then my parents got divorced. which made our family Not Happy, so we weren't exactly welcomed back.

that being said, i don't think there's anything really wrong with my town. it's just a bit...different. and i love it. even if it doesn't seem to love me right now.

god, i think i need to go lay down. i hate remembering all this.

[sentientcave]

Hey friends! I'm Charlie (He/They). Writer, occasional artist, always just some guy. Doing my best, and hoping to get better.

Blank and Ageless Blogs will be blocked.

Requests tentatively open? I should be working on my longer fics but I've been real burned out lately, hoping to spark things back up. I'm lowkey vanilla so don't ask for anything too wild or I'll faint like a scandalized Victorian.

Twitter - AO3 - Ko-fi

~Master List~

Two Graves - Phillip Graves is haunted by the memory of his older brother

Fuck-ass Mohawk - Johnny likes it when you're mean to him (And Ghost does too)

Pompeii//Good Grief - Dealing with loss during a mission gone wrong- Or maybe gone right.

And They Were Roommates

Fem!Soap x Fem Reader - You're looking for a roommate, and Jaime Mactavish figures she's the right woman for the job.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Heavy Weighs the Crown

Fantasy AU - A princess in self-imposed exile is forced to come home to face the man who took her father's crown and the life she left behind. 141 x Reader.

Chapter Index

Retirement Party

Price has retired from Military life, and he's not handling the change well. But on the one year anniversary of him hanging it up, his boys bring him something special to help keep him busy. You. (Dark fic! Read the content warnings)

Chapter Index

Honey It's Alright

Slasher AU with some of my OCs. Dark fic!! Read the warnings

Part 1

Sadie Blackmoore-Price in

Nobody Does it Better - Sadie and John reconnect for a night

You Only Live Twice (In Progress)

Sparrowverse

Fics in an extended original character universe. I'll get around to posting Sparrow one of these days.

Cherry Bomb - Nikolai meets one of his Aunt's old school friends and tries not to fall in love.

You Drive Me Wild - Nikolai and Helena meet again three years later

WIP WEDNESDAY BAYBEE

Snippets and previews of things in the works

Rugby - Rugby Again - More Rugby - The Righteous Hand - Impound - More Impound - Sparrow - TNT - Lucky Bunny - Daddy's Girl - Sparrow Again + Retirement Party

#Cave Writing for unlinked works and me complaining about writing

Image credit - Banner made in Canva

[therantingsage]

Blogtember prompts 11-20, once again courtesy of @mod-jazzy / @jazzy-art-time! Had some fun ones this time around!

Once again, elaborations under the cut:

Day 11: Tbh I try to make most of my OCs easy to draw so I wasn't sure who to pick for this. Ended up deciding on Neura, because she really takes no effort.

Day 12: I wouldn't say Maximus is by any means the most difficult character to draw, but I distinctly remember hating having to draw him back when totemrodents was still around. His shape was annoying and I could never keep the size of his ears consistent. So I felt it would be fitting to give it one more go for old times sake.

Day 13: painted-pokes barely existed, it got zero asks and like 6 followers total, but I remember liking the vague ideas I had about the characters and setting. But looking back on the last post I ever made on there, I realized how AWFUL it looked and just NEEDED to do it more justice. Hi Inverse bye Inverse

Day 14: Paleo is the character who gets the most physical abuse in all of my blogs I'm pretty sure. I didn't want to draw how he lost his foot, cuz that's a major plot spoiler. And I didn't want to draw the scene where he got the back scar, because I couldn't figure out the framing for it. So instead. Future injury :) I'm not elaborating :)

Day 15: Haha anyway happy family on the beach! Once I get to the part of fugamsemidei's plot where they go on their Plate Quest it's gonna be so fun to draw. Much more levity in that part of the plot

Day 16: Hi Jazzy!!!!!! Hi hi hi Jazzy I drew your lizard!!!!! I wouldn't say Jody's blog is my favorite blog of yours, I honestly couldn't tell you what my favorite is I like them all a lot (gun to my head I'd probably say wastelandlabs or flakenrudy). But! Jody is your favorite blorbo and I've never actually drawn proper Jody fanart for you!!!!!! So here she is!!!!!!!

Day 17: I don't think I've ever elaborated on Cootenany? He's a Xatu/Absol hybrid who lives in the facility. He's like half the reason most of the plot happens. I cut out the part of the conversation telling the ACTUAL prophesy he's giving right here cuz I want to keep that a secret for later, but I at least wanted to draw him cuz I don't think I have more than once.

Day 18: I thought really hard about it but I don't think I really.....cut out parts of stories very much? Or at least if I do I usually do it early enough in the plotting stage that nothing but random thoughts exist of it. So the only thing I could come up with for this one was Spoop the Ditto. Initially they were just....a regular Ditto with nothing special going on? Just the youngster of my Phantump group. But now they're like. An actual character with plot importance in lots of places. Idk when I'm ever getting to that but it's something.

Day 19: I have definitely not mentioned either of them anywhere, but all my blogs are in the same universe! And this is the og Arceus and Mew of that Universe! Dhaha and Leonen! The only blog I think they'll ever be relevant in is fugamsemidei for obvious reasons but yeah. Them. They're buddies :3

Day 20: Lucy...oh no Lucy, your whimsy....they stolt it away from u....

[sid-noxious]

so who else hit the strict transmed to genderfucked-example-of-who-you-would've-made-fun-of pipeline

[averlym]

fairest of the fair

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[bleaksqueak]

Honestly, I'm really grateful that my brain isn't wired to jump from hyperfixation to hyperfixation. It has its own unique drawbacks, sure, but I've always found it really comforting that I know what to expect from myself.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[emometalhead]

I just reread some of my old fiction writing, and it was actually like not bad. I've been saying for a few days that I really need a hobby. Maybe it's time to give it another go

[izzy-b-hands]

every time. every time without fail, that i go on a Dethklok/Brendan's music overall binge as I have been lately. I find myself looking at my guitar like. If only i knew how. if only i could do it right. I could hold her and shred and have fun making music.

alas. my skills are too lacking*

*to clarify, I struggle to read music & learn by ear, but my memory also struggles with remembering chords/finger placements/tabs so even tho i can usually hear how a song should go enough to identify notes & whatnot, and can, with enough time spent noodling, eventually recreate it on guitar. That is not conducive nor useful in actually playing and getting better at it and makes it feel like an Impossible Task lmao.

[r0semultiverse]

Franky and Nami both got a nice ass.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

i've been turning more and more inward about how i'm enjoying harry and how i'm processing the end of tour, but it feels good, for now at least. i celebrated seeing him live so thoroughly that my last time seeing him felt like the end of tour in some way. i don't want to feel like i'm missing out when i'm out with friends, like i will be during his last show, bc in a world without streams i also wouldn't see that show. i've basically been training myself to slow down and appreciate (old) content more, and bask in a show and its content for longer. or be at peace not seeing content from a particular show. bc sometimes i feel nervous about missing something, or i feel myself having fomo for a thing i could not possibly be at. and most especially, i am not missing out, bc i had so many glorious opportunities to see the tour. i'm literally having a diary moment here just analysing my behavior and my feelings about being on tumblr and in the fandom during tour bc it's been a lot but i've loved all of it. i'm so fucking happy (and relieved) i can find ways to enjoy it all in my own pace. this space has changed a lot in the last few years but the way their content hits me personally hasn't changed, unless i let it all overwhelm me and i lose sight of what really matters to me about following them. i think it'll feel great to have a break from harry on tour, and let all of it hit me. to revisit little things that happened. to go through my own photos and videos. to go back to his mvs and dive a little deeper into them, at last. maybe i'm just a little overstimulated and ready for harry to stop bombarding me with content fshdf but the way his music makes me feel and the way his goofy face makes me smile and the way his creativity and presence inspire me every day will clearly always remain, after staying strong through all of this, after all these years. thank you, dear diary, for listening. harry styles forever

[ablubluh]

i've been really struggling the last few days with just... doing shit. getting up to go to the toilet. reaching beside me to take a drink of water. eating when i'm hungry. figuring out if i'm hungry/thirsty/in need of anything else particular. i want to tidy the house because it really fucking needs it. i want to fold clothes because i need to find them. i want to be in a space that's pleasant to be in. i want to eat. i want to go out in the fresh air. i want to read any one of my unfinished or unstarted books. i want to play a videogame. i want to reply to rp. i don't. i sit. i stare at the screen. i feel my brain oozing sluggishly. i might be getting a headache. i don't move. i don't look away from the screen except to stare at the wall. i think about all the things i want to do. i think about all the things i should be doing. i don't feel any particular emotion. my stomach growls. i think about getting a snack. i scroll another six posts on tumblr. i stare at the wall. i haven't opened my mouth or made a sound in an hour, two hours, more. i want to play my ukulele. i want to listen to music. i want to watch a movie. i stare. i sit. i lose thoughts halfway through having them. i forget birthdays. i forget plans made two days ago. i forget to make myself a snack. i forget to talk to my friends. i forget promises i've made. i forget who i owe rp replies to. i forget due dates. i sit i sit i sit i sit i sit.

sometimes i get really sick of me.