#like its crazy to me that there are people who were born grew up graduated got a job got married and had kids of their own

[wikagirl]

I'll be honest the last time I saw buggy before the impel down arc was aaaaalllll the way back in 2009 after school during the first german airing of the first 300and something episodes which is also when I got introduced to one piece. (op didn't get a german dub til 2003 and also only very slowly until it picked up a following)

My school schedule changed then and I'd always come home way too late to catch any episodes of it until many years later when there was one day a week where I'd get home before 4pm and that happened to be just around the time when impel down was freshly done with german synchro and being broadcasted.

and uhhh it took me until today, my most recent rewatch of the show, to realize that buggy had indeed always had long hair and the blue tassles on his hat were just his friggin hair????

I'm not saying that my brain is kinda flat but it sure do be smooth like a vaseline dipped chicken breast considering how long it took me to get that.

[mychaotic-academia]

I’ve never posted any “about me” stuff so here’s some random me-based facts if anyone was curious!

I am 27 going on 28 (my birthday is October 21st)

I’m married to the love of my life, Vee, and she and I met when I was 18 and she was 21. I auditioned for her A Capella group in college and she fell in love instantly (the funny part is I was just thinking “I hope this girl lets me into her A Capella group” but I wasn’t far behind)

I have a cat named Bunny that I’m obsessed with. She’s a calico short hair and I do sometimes post pics! I tag them #Bunny

I work as a paraeducator in a high school, which basically means I help students with IEPs and such in classrooms. Right now I work in a classroom for students returning to school after school avoidance or hospitalizations. I love my job!

I’m in graduate school to get my Special Education degree so I can become a Special Ed teacher. I love being in classes again and I’m excited for the new step in my career!

I majored in Psychology in my Undergrad, and the 4 years I spent at University were amazing! I was originally going to be an adjustment counselor, but changed my mind.

I’m a creative person, and I write (poems, stories, novel length projects that never come to be), paint, play music, and sing. I sometimes post some of my creative content here too!

I’ve been a voracious reader since I was old enough to read. Before that my Dad read to me every night before bed. We kept that up through sometime in Middle School as we read all the Harry Potter novels, most as they were coming out (I’m old!)

I’m a pagan and a not quite professional but working on it psychic. I love doing readings for folks so ask away! I’m working on getting fluent enough to pick up a gig somewhere as a reader.

My parents are both writers. My mom has a published book of poetry and is published fairly widely for her poetry. My dad has self published two novels (he didn’t want to deal with getting a publishing deal but his books are good!)

I’m majorly into aesthetics and general awe. I see beauty everywhere and I’m constantly amazed by the world. My theory is that I’m a brand new soul and so everything is exciting to me, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

My old blog (if I follow you it is unfortunately still my “main”, nullnvoyd) was a BPD blog. I deleted everything and pretty much deactivated it as far as I could because it wasn’t helping. I’ve struggled with mental health since I was a kid, but am in a very good place right now, which feels amazing.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago and it has explained so much!

I live in Massachusetts and am watching the trees for any signs of leaves turning because it truly is a marvel to live in New England in the Fall.

I was born in Newfoundland Canada. My parents grew up there. In the early-mid 90s (when I was born) the fishery crashed and Newfoundland had unemployment of around 30+%. My dad got a job down here because he was, at the time, one of the few people who could do what he does with computers. I’m still only a Canadian citizen, mainly because its expensive to become a citizen in the US. I want to be a citizen for the next election though so I’ll have to prioritize it.

I used to own a crystal shop, but its down for now because I’m working and in school full time.

I was on Tumblr back in the day, when it was at the height of its popularity. I think it was 2011 or 2012 when I made my first account. Crazy how time flies once you leave public education and start getting older.

I love makeup and fashion, and I was self conscious about it for a long time because it didn’t feel like an “intellectual” pursuit, but that was completely a misconception. They are forms of art!

So thats a bit about me! Theres more, I’m sure, because people always contain untold multitudes, but those are what I could think of on half a cup of coffee on a Sunday morning.

[prof-peach]

{{ Could you tell us more about Plum? I saw their name in the moveset post, and that selection of moves really intrigued me! Why the selection of ghost/psychic moves? What do they do on the island? Are they as prickly as the move selection made them sound? Super intrigued!

Plum grew up in the city, with very well off parents, who pretty much gave her the world. While that had its benefits, it came with some down sides. She became very entitled, putting herself on a pedestal and demanding a lot of others. When she wanted to become a ranger, to be like the cool actresses in the movies, attempting daring rescues, fighting crime with their Pokemon. Her family bought her a dratini as a first Pokemon, and paid to enrol her in the ranger academy.

At the same time, peach had been recommended for the same course by local authorities that wanted to channel her destructive nature into something more useful. She was indifferent to doing it, so just went along with the whole thing.

Day one, the pair met their class, their teachers, and the campus. They immediately clashed. Plum was being snide and condescending to other students, peach was sitting behind her, called her some unpleasant things with her stupid dead-pan face, they broke into a fight pretty soon after.

This behaviour continued for four months before the teachers began to explore other options for the pair. Plum had proven incapable of handling her rogue dratini, it paid her no attention, and was often disruptive and chaotic. However she was very astute on the written tests, and technical knowledge of the law. Peach on the other had was suited to the practical learning, her and her vulpix were agile and effective at battles. She however only just scraped by with the written content, and slacked in classes, did just enough to pass with the least amount of effort put in. And so the crazy idea of the pair having to work together at all times until they get along was born. If they didn’t achieve this, together as a team, they would both be booted off the ranger program.

Plum was distraught, the ranger training was hard, it was nothing like the movies showed, she felt cheated out of what she wanted. Her new human partner was a nightmare, rude, blunt, disrespectful, irritating. Her Pokemon partner was unruly, why didn’t it like her? She bought it the nicest things, and fussed over it, and all it would do was run away or try to break all her expensive things. Nothing had turned out right for plum, it was not going to her plan.

The pair had three months to get it together, or they were out.

First month they argued constantly, nitpicking behaviours, being petty, generally getting nothing done well. Peach would bring their collective grade down to spite plum, and plum would slow down and spook Pokemon in the wild constantly, making it impossible to do anything tactical.

Second month peach got sick and tired of plum’s dratini being unruly, and began to secretly work with it to build some trust, whenever plum wasn’t watching. Because plum’s head was always in the books, she was completely unaware of this going on. Instead she studied and brought their written grade up, making sure to compensate for her lazy human partner.

Month three was when plum caught on that peach was working with her Pokemon. They were out tracking an injured aipom, trying to help. Plum’s dratini was out, and it bolted off in one direction, plum called it, it didn’t respond, peach did the same, and it turned immediately to come back, returning to plum’s side. Shocked, plum for once said nothing. They managed to successfully track and trap the injured Pokemon, and give it aid before release. The mark of the first actual successful mission.

Plum began to actually look at what peach was doing, for the first time, she took her head out of the books and secretly began to observe. Observation turned to practice. She started to use things peach was doing, to connect with her partner, and grow their bond.

By the end of their trial three months as a duo team, they had not stopped arguing, fuelled by their newly developed bitter rivalry. Instead of crushing each other down during drills and exams, they worked to out-do each other. A save of your partner was a win, because you could rub it in their face that you were the reason they weren’t hurt. It was enough for the teachers to allow them both to stay on the course.

This continued for a year and a half, they were very volatile together, but always got the job done. It was then that peach had a run in with some truly horrible poachers, and found herself in possession of a Teddiursa with a lot of trauma. There was only one thing to do, the ranger course was regimented and strict, and that didn’t suit her lifestyle. Peach left for the mountains to work with the new member of her team, ditching plum and all her connections without a word.

Plum was furious she would just leave, and vowed to do better than peach ever could have. She finished the ranger course, worked her way up the ladder, and achieved a high ranking admin position after a number of years. Her rich taste never changed, her family money never ran out. Perhaps she could have been brought back down to earth if she had to work with someone like peach for longer, her now faithful dratini had evolved in that time, but always reminded her of the early years, when things were exciting, and she had a strong goal to achieve bigger and better things than her ranger partner.

With new labs popping up, and new connections being made, plum was assigned liaison duty with Dotaku island, unaware that her once small, young rival, was now a big, strong professor. Plum’s dragonair was the tell. It sensed peach a mile off, for the first time in many years, bolting off towards her when it first touched down on the island. Plum saw peach, peach saw plum, snide comments followed, that escalated to insults, then to shouting. And finally the realisation that they had to work together again after all those years.

Now when the ranger bases local to the island catch something that needs specialist care, they send it through, and plum will be the one who handles their cases, and eventual release or rehoming. She does all the paperwork and organising, and the labs handle the actual care and rehabilitation.

Plum is still childish at times, usually quite snide when provoked, but has become strategic and observational about how she handles most things. After graduating top of her class, she’d had a complex about being the best, and prides herself on that. Her paperwork is flawless, her analytical skills top notch. She does however fall short on her people skills, folks do find her snooty at times. She’s taken full advantage of her family money, and bought a lot of gear and lessons to improve her skills over the years. She does lose herself when confronted with her old rival, and both tend to resort to playground tactics.

[toontails]

Toon Quest|| Reader Insert

Chapter 1: Like an Open Book

Ah...yes. A quiet, quiet neighborhood--oh, hello! I didn't see you all there. Haha, hello. I am your narrator, yes. I know, every convenient film or novel needs one, am I annoying you? Sorry, just getting into the groove, because I have a story for you all today. 

The birds chirped, singing a melody that could repeat in anyone's head hours on end, the warmth of the sun on a summer morning, the dew on the grass waiting to greet people from their sleep, the crisp air that gave that comforting chill to start everyone's morning off. 

A blue bird--a toon bird at that. It's simple look would seem out of place for anyone that doesn't live in this world. You would find it odd to see a dainty blue bird with its blue eyes standing out from any other ordinary bird. Simply--because it's a cartoon, or a Toon as we like to call these guys. 

The bluebird delicately flapped its wings, its eyes closed with a calm expression on its face, soaring over to a house. Where it slowly yet softly placed its talons on a sill of a window, which was closed. The blue bird peered into the window, it could see a girl laying in her bed, asleep. Her back turned from the window and her breathing ever so softly inhaling and exhaling. Sound asleep. 

Ah, it seems little blue birds want to sing a song to wake up our friend. Go ahead little birdie, give us a song.

The bluebird gave an excited expression. Taking in a big inhale, it's chest becoming larger before it lets out a nice melodic loud;

"COCKLEDOODLEDOOOO---!!"

Y/n flinched quickly and shot up, snorting abruptly from her sleep she was so deep into. Her eyes wide open and heart beating in her chest, the sudden noise scared the poor soul!

The bluebird lifted a wing to its beak to hide its from and muffle and snickered mischievously at the reaction. 

Oh, you sneaky little rascal. Well. Now that she's up. Let's get this show on the rode shall we?

-

"Okay. We have 3 tickets for 2PM. But I want to go and get gas first, your dad drained the gas yesterday--" 

Y/n sat in the passenger seat of the car, her mother talking on and on of the 103 things she had accomplished in the day, a busy woman, but she got things done. Music blared through the speakers as she spoke, but Y/n busy scrolling through her phone to pay the woman any mind, which her mother noticed. Glancing at her daughter,  the lady gently jabbed Y/n's ribs, causing Y/n to tense up at the sudden jab and made a small noise at the sudden feeling. 

"Hey-Hey, are you even listening to me?" Her mother smiled at Y/n. Y/n turned her phone off and nodded. "Yes, You were ranting about errands. And your lottery tickets." She said. Her mother had her focus on the road, but the smile was still glued to her face, being able to drag her daughter with her, was a way to spend time with Y/n. The highschool graduate had been busy in the house for most of the time...well...basically relaxing, of course she did things around the house, but the mother wanted to take her daughter to her to work, to experience mother and daughter time. 

"So. What exactly are we going to do today?" Y/n asked. Sitting up in her seat as she watched the builds pass by. 

"Well. I was thinking, maybe a movie? Walk in the park maybe? But, before anything. I have to drop off some paperwork at the studio."

Ah, yes. Y/n's mother worked as a secretary at a studio, not such a big role, nevertheless, it was a job with the big leagues...in a way!

In this particular area, she worked for a company named JoeyDrew, years ago it was formerly known as MeatlyStudios, the company had history, Joey Drew, who was originally the owner, but with many cases on his back for various reasons, that was not classified to the public, but within his arrest the company was given to better hands and care, a man named Henry Stein. 

Y/n had never really stepped foot into the building her mother worked at, of course she knew what shows were produced there as she saw some of them play on television countless times as any other film out there. Living with a world of toons, you were born into a world with Toons and humans and things are normal, so, heating about going to her job didn't raise too much excitement. 

But, it didn't hurt to get a glimpse at the workplace her mother works in. 

"Well, would  look at that--she looks just like you!" 

Starting at the middle aged woman that circled from around the counter with a joyful smile. Y/n's mother gives a welcoming smile to her co-worker and she grabs Y/n's hands and shakes it. The silver name tag, which had the woman's name engraved in the silver with a cartoon horns coming from the bottom read; 'Annie'

"Hey, Annie, I'm just stopping by to drop off these files." Y/n's mother placed a beige portfolio on the counter as Annie gently grabbed Y/n's hand, giving her a firm welcoming shake. Y/n gave a close lipped smile to Annie as the woman mostly had her focus on her. 

"Hi, nice to meet you." Y/n spoke, the lady smiled and nodded. Her hand slipping from Y/n's grasp before placing her hands behind her back, looking at the simplistic formal uniform, Y/n took in the attire, a black blouse and dress pants, but Y/n wasn't paying too much attention to that, she looked at the white pearls that formed a necklace. Annie had turned to look at Y/n's mother as she then started to speak, not paying much attention to their conversation. Instead, she observed her surroundings in the lobby of the studio. Beige carpet, and clear windows to show the parking lot that was being filled by the minute for many interns, animators and other people that work for the industry. 

On the walls were some posters of the many shorts and animated films of Bendy the devil. The main protagonists of the many shorts, and from what Y/n could remember, one of the first characters introduced by Joey Drew and Henry Stein. The fluorescent light made the posters look more alive and exciting. Her optics danced around the studio, before landing on a cardboard cut out--she assumed it was a cardboard cutout. Of Bendy. Not finding much interest in the cutout, she decided to look back over to her mother to see if she was about ready to leave, but seeing Annie and her mother speaking, going over the paperwork in the portfolio. A sudden moment from the corner of her eye caused her to look back over, her eyes landing on the Bendy cutout. The black and white demon only stood there with its famous grin and pie cut black eyes. 

"..." Y/n's slowly looked back at her mother, yet again, and once again. She saw movement. Looking back over to the cut out again, she was astonished to see it was gone. With much confusion, she would have suspected someone for moving it, though, no one seemed to be paying attention to her general direction as it was the early morning and people were too busy doing work. 

A white gloved hand rose from behind Y/n's back and tapped her shoulder twice. Causing her to whip around in the direction to see the person, only to find nothing. 

"What?" She finally spoke up in utter confusion, once again, a white glove rose and tapped her shoulder yet again, repeating the action by turning around, she was once again met with nothing. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She suddenly heard a tsk, glancing to her right. A few inches away from her, stood the all knowing black and white demon, Bendy. Though, living in a world with Toons where obviously Humans and Toons Co-exists. On any other day, or any other everyday toon, seeing one wouldn't be such a surprise, but seeing the star of the company, in the building, as Bendy and the the rest of the cast  weren't exactly in the studio as often as anyone would think, more so being out for the most part--well. Doing their job. Starring as a cartoon in films. 

"Whoa--how did..?" Y/n felt a smile form on her face. She never met Bendy. Or, any of the cast, yes, her mother worked for the studio, but that didn't mean she had the free will and access to meeting anyone she desired that worked with JoeyDree Studios. 

Bendy rose a finger to shush Y/n, his grin expanding her so slightly. 

"Well! I don't see why you're surprised, you're M/n daughter, huh?" He asked. Y/n was still busy looking at the toon, her reply was delayed for a moment, but she replied. Nodding she gave him a toothy smile. 

"Yes. I am."

Bendy gasped, placing his gloved fingers on his mouth. "Well--why I outta--c'mere you!" Bendy extended his arms and pulled Y/n in a hug. Y/n lets out a short laugh before wrapping her arms around the room, feeling him pat her back. After a moment he pulled away, still with the smile on his face. 

"Now, I can say I've met everyone's family." He said. Y/n took a moment to understand what he meant. Putting things together, she assumed he met everyone who worked in the studio building children or other relatives. 

"I'm assuming you were going around to try and meet everyone's family members?" Y/n asked. Motioning towards the people in the lobby--but still motioning forward every one that worked in the studio. Bendy nods. 

"Yes! You see I've met Jacob's 4 sons, Alex, Zachary, Matthew, Isaac, I've met Bethany's 6 nieces, such cute little dolls. I must say so myself, Amy, Sam, Debbie and Anna--" He ranted and went on and on about the many family members he had met, counting on his fingers, so many people he had met that were family members of the workers in the studios, so many, in fact, he already counted his 4 cartoonish fingers and grew a 7th one countings on them!

"--And then there was Mary, her uncle's fathers 3rd cousin who owned a diner down the street. Which he soon gave to her, and there I met her two sons and 2 daughters. Crazy thing is--they're quadruplets!" He tugged at his horns out of excitement that he couldn't seem to contain. Y/n held a smile on her face, listening to him rant, one thing about toons was that some acted exactly how they did on screen. Happy, go lucky, enthusiastic. Of course Bendy more was a mischievous character. But regardless, toons were very animated people--no pun intended. But they were very lively, really, they could bring a smile to anyone's face. 

"And then, I met you. I believe. Is it?" He took a moment to think, tapping his chin in thought as he tapped his foot on the ground. But he quickly regained his original posture. "Yes! The last of it." He answered for himself. 

"Well, it's nice to meet you too." Y/n said. Walking through the double glass door, which got Bendy's attention as he looked over, as well as Y/n. A middle aged man, formally dressed, speaking on a phone walks through the doors. He seemed to be in a busy call as he spoke in a low voice. It was Henry. Who also wasn't exactly seen around the studio as often as he was a busy many running a company, and a studio isn't the only place a businessman needs to be. Usually being in tons of board meetings for different ideas, financial things and much more that was needed for the company to work smoothly. Henry noticed Annie and Y/n's mother. He smiled and waved at them as he pressed a button on the elevator, the two waved back with graceful smiles and went back to their small meeting for...whatever it was they were talking about for the portfolio. 

"Who's that?" Y/n asked. Bendy looked away from the elevator and to Y/n. "Well, Henry of course. He runs this place." Bendy answered. Nodding, Y/n knew of Henry, but never really met him--well she never met him, only heard about him occasionally in her mother's conversation about work. 

"Don't tell him--but I actually run this place." Bendy said, cupping a hand over his mouth as if he were telling the most classified secret ever. But it did cause Y/n to snicker. Suddenly, with the sudden voice of the news lady on the TV that hung from the ceiling stole the two attention. Looking over, the screen showed a lady sitting in the news studio, giving a report. 

"This just in. The book of vida has been reportedly stolen from a storage facility down in Manhattan, this ancient book was supposedly attended to be sent off overseas to the France Museum of Natural History, but unfortunately has been stolen, 2 security guards were guarding the building last night. When at approximately 3AM, a broken glass was heard in the North side of the building, upon investigation, the glass box was broken into and the book of vida was gone. An investigator, Detective Droopy, is now on charge and at the scene."

The screen soon switched to a Toon, which was Droopy the Detective, many interviews where there taking photos, the clicking of the cameras and the bright flashes didn't seem to faze him. Droopy was a notorious detective around town, being one of the first toons to have such an important role as a--'human' job, which would be working in the officer department--a detective. But, he was good at his job regardless...maybe because he was a dog?

He was standing in front of the building that allegedly was robbed, as in any other invertivew, he held a nonchalant expression. 

"Yes, we all know how important this is, the good news is that we have a lead, and I feel that this can quickly give us all our answers on who, what, when and where." He said. From behind him, he pulled out one singular red feather, the auburn frigid plume, the color of the feather similar to the reddish hues of an Autumn season. 

"I can say that this will help us out tremendously, and that's detective talk."

The interview went on in the background as Y/n lost interest in it, recently cases have been occurring around time, with homicides and robberies, for example, the arrest of Joey Drew was one case out of plethora of them. It seemed for the most part, Toons were the ones making these sudden flux of incidents, and lately some people didn't take good eye on how the Toons were portraying themselves. And some still stood beside toons regardless. Bendy had looked away from the TV screen as well, holding his arms behind his back. 

"Well, I didn't expect things like this to go too far." He said. 

"What's a book of Vida?" Y/n asked him, she rarely paid attention to any...politics? Well shouldn't really say the book had anything to do with politics, just simply not really paying too much attention with all the news had been going around specifically case wise, of course she knew the sudden rise and tension that was growing between Toons and humans. It was like a brick wall. 

"It's a book. Or as people that are archeologists would look at is, as a book of prophecy. What's in it? I don't know, it's mostly been transported from different museums. I have heard that it has information about life--which--" he paused for a moment. Tapping his shoe on the floor in thought. 

"It is about life in fact. It's called The Book of Life. Basically I've heard that it holds a prophecy, hero's or whatever, I dunno. I think that's really far fetched if you ask me." He said. Waving a gloved hand as if dismissing the idea. Y/n could understand him. A book speaking about future heros? Yes, far fetched. And...very fantasy like. 

"Alright, that should be all for now." Y/n's mother spoke as she walked over. Looking in her purse for her car keys, obviously making it known it was time to leave. When she looked up and noticed Bendy standing next to Y/n, she smiled. 

"Oh hey, I didn't know you were here too, did you tag along with Henry?" She asked. Bendy once again smiled brightly and nodded at her question. 

"Yes, he's upstairs in a meeting and I decided to stop by with him, glad I did, because I was finally able to meet Y/n!" He motioned towards Y/n. 

"Oh yes, I've tried getting her in here plenty of times, but I'm so busy, I can barely remember anything." 

The two shared a laugh, obviously it wasn't the first time the two met, which would be understandable as Y/n's mother worked in the study and was bound to run into anyone major, like Bendy himself at times.

"Well, I'll leave you two be now!" Bendy smiled and waved goodbye. 

-

Walking out of the studio, and once again feeling the heat of the sun spreading its welcoming warmth to the world after being in the AC for some time. Y/n and her mother walked to the car that was parked, the clouds were making themselves known, making it vaguely obvious that later it might rain. 

"Alright, I'm hungry. Are you?" M/n said, unlocking the car doors with a click of a button, Y/n opened the door to the passenger side and slid in the car. 

"I've been hungry since I woke up." Y/n said. Causing a chuckle to come from her mother. 

"Don't worry, I'll find us something to eat." 

-

The chattering of people in the restaurant was incoherent, plates clattering together, it wasn't as busy seeing it was still in the early morning. Staring down at the menu, as if Y/n didn't know what she was going to order, when really she did. Her mother spoke up. 

"I would bring your dad something to eat when we get back, but I'll let him suffer since he didn't do the Landry last week." M/n said, staring at the menu with squinted eyes. Y/n cracked a small smile. 

"Not even an appetizer?" she asked. 

"Nope, he's good. There's food at home for him."

Y/n could practically hear the crying of her father with no food when they got back home with take out boxes. But she knew she wasn't going to change her mothers mind. 

For a brief second she heard the people in the booth in front of her and her mother, talk about the news segment from this morning--which was barely even an hour ago. 

"I can't believe that a toon went out of their way to steal a book"

"I know right, it's like there are more cases of toons committing crimes than humans."

"Hey mom." Y/n abruptly looked over to her mom and away from the two people talking. Her mother looked away from the menu and to Y/n. Raising an eyebrow. 

"What's the Book of Vida? I've seen it on TV today." She said. Her mother set her menu down before speaking. 

"It's a history book basically, a book of toons and humans, some people around the world see it as a prophecy book, it depends on who you ask." She replied. 

"Why is it so important for someone to steal it?"

She was only replied with a shrug. 

It seemed not many people knew the exact reason for the book, other than it being some sort of history book. 

"There's a woman at work, she used to be a history teacher in High Schools, she told me that the reason why it's important is because it only opens when--I believe she said, a time comes, and when the right person that is part of the prophecy can open it."

Y/n quickly stopped fiddling with the straw for her drink. Perking up slightly in interest. 

"Whoa, so it..only opens for people that are a part of the book?" she asked. Her mother took a moment to think, before she nodded. 

"Yes. But, some people don't believe it. I can't give you too much detail in the book, I don't know much of it myself."  The woman chuckled slightly at the smile on Y/n's face. 

"Bendy told me he heard from someone that the book was about heros."

"Hell, maybe it might be." 

Placing the straw back into the cup, Y/n took a moment to think, information on that book was nice to hear, but, with the sudden tension of Toons and Non-Toons. It was evident now. 

"How do you feel about the toons and some cases revolving around them?" Y/n asked her mother. Her mother gave her an expression, well. More of a dissatisfied one. 

"Y/n. I work with Toons. Anyone that starts going against a toon for making a crime when humans did it for years on end are just dumb as hell, even toons have breaking points." She chuckled. Y/n smiled at her and looked at her drink. 

Her mother went back to looking at the menu for the 5th time they spent that time in the restaurant. 

-

After hours being out, Which needed with M/n having to take a visit to the bank, the two made it home, the sun on the verge of setting, the clouds overtaking the sky, with its various shades of gray, walking into the house, Y/n's mother was on the phone, more likely for it being something that had to deal with work, so she walked off upstairs to her room, to have the call in there. 

Y/n placed the take out bags on the counter, her father was upstairs most likely asleep. Walking over to the couch in the living room, Y/n sat down on the couch and sighed in relief to finally sit down. Feeling the tension in her leg be put at ease from standing and walking around with her mother for hours. Removing her phone from her pocket, and not even a second later, both of her parents came down stairs. Her mother was still dressed in her clothes, and her father was lazily slipping on a shirt. 

"Um--where are you guys going?" Y/n asked. Her father motioned towards her mother. "She's going to work, they just called her in. I'm tagging along, because your mom says so."

"I sure did." Her mother said as she dug through her purse. Taking out another set of keys she placed them on the kitchen counter. "If you're going out to get anything. Here's the keys to your dad's car. Be careful though, it's going to start raining soon--"

"Oh man! What the hell, you guys didn't bring any food for me?!" Y/n's father was searching through the bags, but to avail. Only finding two take out boxes for Y/n and M/n. 

"You'll be fine. Get to the car." M/n ushered her husband out the door in a hurry, who groaned heavily. Y/n only smiled and shook her head slowly. 

"Oh, and take the trash out. We'll be back soon!"

And with the closing of the door, the two left out. Y/n leaned back into the couch, letting the silence engulf her. Too silent.

Her parents were always busy, working that is. For the most part it was only Y/n at home for half the time, filling most of her days with just herself, her neighborhood was small, and mostly filled with kids, as Y/n was 18, and didn't exactly want to spend half her day with 8 and 15 year olds. Not that she had anything against them. 

Slipping off her shoes, Y/n decided to take out the trash later, instead, feeling a familiar fatigue start to rush through her. Taking her shoes, she stood up and walked upstairs towards her room. Once opening her door and closing it. She tossed her shoes to the side and sat down on her bed where she placed her phone on the nightstand. Crawling onto the bed, she finally laid down and pulled the blankets over her to sleep. 

Or. Try to sleep. The sudden shuffle from the side of her room caused her to open her eyes. Sitting up, she looked over to her shoes to see if they had maybe fallen over. But they were still in the same tossed position. One upside down and the other upright. 

"..."

Shuffle shuffle

This caused Y/n to quickly hop from the bed with a gasp. Standing next to her night stand where she quickly grabbed a dictionary she used in English back in high school. Holding it tightly to use it as some sort of weapon, she looked around the room, and finally over to her window, where she found the little blue bird from this morning trying to get out of the room. But the window pane was too low for him to escape. 

"Oh...it's just you.." Y/n muttered. The blue bird looked at her with its big eyes before looking back at the window. Obviously signalling her for help, which Y/n took heed of. She walked over to the window, and slid it open for the bird. It was already raining outside. The bird must have gotten in a while ago out of curiosity. The bird chirped in happiness before flying through the window, turning back to Y/n to look at her through the window. It waved one wing at her before flying off. Y/n waved back as well. Closing the window to not let the now cool air in. Y/n turned around to return the book back to her nightstand. But she came nose to beak with a toon. 

"AAAAH!"

"AH!"

Y/n quickly tossed the dictionary onto the intruder, causing it to fall on the toon's face. Who fell backwards and onto the floor. Y/n quickly back into the wall. Glueing her back to the corner as she watches the person. The toon had its hands on its beak. 

"AH-ow-ow--Ah! ¡¿Qué te pasa mujer?!" He spoke...spanish. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows, her heart beating in her chest. What?? What was going on? 

"Who are you?! Why are you in my room?!" Y/n shouts. But the toon didn't answer. Instead, stayed still on the ground. Hands covering its beak, which was mostly its face. 

Taking a longer look, Y/n took note of it's auburn feathers, its beige sombrero was large, it resembled a rooster, a mexican rooster. He wore a red barlo jacket, with golden lining, and red charlo pants with spurs. He had on a belt, and what took Y/n by surprise were the gun holsters on his sides , packed with two 8 caliber pistols. This caused Y/n to gasp lightly and further take a step back. Taking caution of the Toon. The rooster removed his hand from his beak. Leaning back on his elbows as he looked around the room and soon his eyes landed on Y/n. 

"I know this s-"

"Why are you in my house? Who are you?!" Y/n watched as the rooster slowly heaved himself off the floor, he took off his sombrero and dusted it off before placing it back on his head. He raised his hands to show he didn't have anything dangerous on him, though he didn't seem to notice the pistols in his holster. 

"Mi señora, I mean no harm. You see my name is Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González IIl." He then raised a finger. 

"But, you can just call me Panchito, or Francisco! Either is fine, but I am here because this--" he pulled off the red book bag that Y/n didn't know he was wearing until then. Opening the bag. He pulled out a book. Black leather book. With golden lining. With words engraved on it in gold. 

'Libro de la vida'

Under it, it was small, it was embralled into the book, in white. 

'Book of Life'

Wait...it made sense. Y/n looked back at Panchito, the color of his feathers. Red. He stole the book. 

"You're the one who stole it?" Y/n said quietly. But enough for him to hear. He slightly lowered the book. 

"Yo no diría robar...I simply took something that will save mankind." He defends. 

"You see. Libro De La Vida, is a book of the present. It picks who will make a right change! Ah,No puedo explicarlo, excuse my English, I am not very good at it, but. This Book--" he lifts it up once again. 

"Is powerful. It has the answers for all sorts of bad things that people want to get their hands on. Genocide!"

"I-what? Genocide?" Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. And Panchito took that as a bad sign that he used the wrong term. 

"AH, lo siento, I think I have used the wrong term, what is the term you use for when someone wants to wipe out an entire species?" He asks. Y/n blinked slowly. 

"That's...that's genocide."

"Well then yes! Genocide!" He snapped his fingers with a smile. 

"Wait-wait-wait. So you're meaning to tell me. You stole a book--broke into my house, to tell me about a fantasy book--"

"It is no fantasy book. This book leads us to people--people that are..chosen to help us, mi amigo! No other person can open this book. But me, and you, and whoever else says it is worth opening it. I know it sounds fantical--but you have to believe me, see. Look." He opened the book quickly, and almost immediately, it shot out of his hands and flew towards Y/n's direction, jabbing her in the torso. Knocking the wind from her. 

 "Ow!" Y/n wheezed and held onto her torso, now seated on the ground from the impact. The book was now on the ground as well. It flipped through the pages as if wind was circling in the room. It landed on a page. It's blank yellowish paper soon filmed with a name in cursive. 

'Y/n L/n'

Y/n stared at the page. In..awe. Astonished. Confused. Excited? Mixed emotions turning into inner turmoil, this was real. The page gave a faint glow. Soon. Panchito slowly walked over. Cautious of Y/n not to scare her. He soon sat down beside her. 

"Look." He said. He grabbed her wrist and pressed her palm into the page. Removing her hand, her hand print was seen in ink.

"You are the only human that has access to the book of Vida."

"Why the only? There aren't other people?" She asked. 

"The book is a story, of history, of the past, present and future. It spoke about 8 hero's, or warriors, one of these 8 hero's, was a human. And in this--"

He motioned around the two.

"Generation. You. Are that human."

Eight, heros in total. That includes Panchito and Y/n. 

"So...if it opens for you and me..where are the other 6?" She asked. Panchito hummed before tapping his finger to his beak. 

"No tengo ni idea, I do not know. The book has led me to you, I will think that as time passes, it will collect energy to track down the rest." He says. Y/n was thinking of 101 things, questioning everything. Staying silent for a moment she found the most reasonable question. 

"How did you know you were a part of the book?" She asked him. Panchito perked up slightly. 

"A dream, more of a vision, but It was a reoccurring vision I've had for years, I've always dreamed of various people, but they were.." He tried to think of a best term for his analogy. 

"Shadows! And, the book. Right here.  When I found out it sailed here to America, I traveled here." He seemed to pride in his short adventure safely to America, Panchito felt that he never really had done anything as important as to seek out a book that could have not given him answers all along. His adventure was purely based on a vision that he had, he didn't seem to see the problem, but Y/n did. A vision? Making an entire trip to another country, just because of a vision. If the book was just a fib and nothing more than an actual history book. The trip would have been for nothing. 

She was about to open her mouth to speak, but Panchito quickly stood up and took a hold of her hand to shake. 

"But! It's a pleasure to meet the first person in this group mi amigo! Tú y yo formaremos un buen equipo cuando trabajemos juntos para encontrar a los demás!" Y/n let's put a small laugh that sounds wobbly from the hasty hand shake. Panchito soon pulled her off the floor to stand her up next to him. Both around the same height, the toon only inches taller than her. 

Y/n picked up the book and opened it once again. Flipping through the pages, some were blank and others were filled with different languages, and odd pictures, that Y/n  was pretty sure could explain something. 

"You were on the news this morning Panchito." Y/n closed the book and looked over at the rooster. He looked at her for a moment in confusion, before understanding what she said. 

"Oh yes! Ah. My poor feather." He turned his lower part to the side slightly to show her two of his auburn feathers. "One of the guards almost grabbed onto me. And they pulled my feather." He said. But he didn't seem too worried about the fact that he..indeed committed a crime. Or he probably did and he didn't seem to really care. 

"No. This is serious. They are looking for this book, for whatever reason." Y/n paced the room. Staring down at the leather black book. Panchito watched her with his arms by his side. 

"This doesn't make any sense. What is it that's in danger, and why does the government want this book so badly. It can't be just to put up in a museum." 

"We should find the others!" Panchito said, more of an announcement. Y/n turned back to him, he picked up the book once again, and grabbed Y/n's wrist before he started over to her room door to exit. But Y/n tugged her arm away. "Whoa--no."

He turned around with a puzzled expression as he looked at her. 

"No?"

"If you came from a different country, entirely different from where I am. What makes you think any other person would be in the same area here?" She asked. 

"Aha! Mi señora, I've sailed here. You can come with me, surely it's better than sitting here all day." He said. Y/n ignored the fact he assumed she slouched around all day, but she shook her head. 

"I can't just up and leave. Not out of state or the country-"

"Well maybe around town?"

"At 7PM? It's raining."

"Ah...you are very good with excuses!"

"I'm not m--no. We can't go anywhere. You're a fugitive now."

"But they don't know my face!"

"They have your feather. They can easily track you down with that simple thing of evidence called DNA. Or whatever they'll use to know who you are. But whatever it is. You're wanted. A wanted bird--"

"Oooh. I wonder if a bounty hunter will put money on my name. Son of a gun! I've always wanted that to happen to me, it'll be a brawl till we see gore!"

Y/n placed a hand on her face and rubbed her temple. 

"We. Can't. go--"

"Oh please. The rest are Toons! The rest of the team should be fairly simple to find. You were the hardest to track down, my friend."

"I'm the only person you tracked d-"

The book abruptly flew from Panchito's grips. Causing him to look down at his hands in surprisement. The book flew past Y/n. She quickly turned around and saw the book shot straight through the window. Shards of glass broke, the sound of glass breaking echoed. Cutting the two from their back and forth of bickering on what they should do next.

CRASSH--CRACK!

the book floated in the dark of night. A golden glow illuminated from the book. Panchito and Y/n stared at the book in awe and utter disbelief. What? What is it doing?

Soon. The book quickly dashed off, the only thing being seen was the erradecents of the glow, trailing down the street. It was a trail. 

"It's a trail…"  Y/n muttered slowly. 

"A trail! It's leading us somewhere!" Y/n grabbed her shoes and ran past Panchito. 

"Let's go!"

She stomped down the stairs, jogging over to the kitchen counter, she took the car keys her mother gave her, Y/n unlocked the front door and ran outside. Panchito followed in suit--obviously not forgetting to close the door behind him. 

The rain pelted at the two, but Y/n slipped in the car as well as Panchito--who took the passenger side. 

"See, things are working well in our favor." Panchito said with a smile. 

"Let's hope it actually leads us somewhere." Y/n said. Turning the keys in the ignition. And backing out of the driveway, before safely driving down the road. 

Unbeknownst of the two. A silhouette watched the car descent down the street. It's gaze looking over and landing on the window that was broken that the book had caused. 

-

The black double doors opened up to reveal Henry, who walked in the lobby, Annie was still on Duty, she gave a small nod to Henry with a smile, M/n was standing at the desk filling out paperwork. Too busy to really pay much attention to Henry. 

Over up on the 3rd floor. Was Bendy. He was still waiting for Henry to finish his work. Much to his luck. He was nowhere near finished. Sitting in one of the smaller meeting rooms to look out the window, he was sitting in a chair when he noticed. A glowing spark in the distance. He assumed it was a bright star despite the clouds covering up the majority of the stars in the sky. But, nevertheless. He opened up the window to take in the view of the odd star. But it got closer and closer. But the devil didn't seem to take much heed on it. 

He picked up noise at the bottom of the building. Causing him to gaze down and see figures hopping out of the car and into the building. But due to the lack of light because of the nightfall and being 2 stories up. He pushed that aside. 

But, almost immediately, something slammed into his face. He flew off the seat and onto the floor, rolling over in a few summersaults before landing on his back. A book pressed into his face. 

"...."

His tail twitched as he let out a painful wheeze from the harsh impact. He slowly raised a wobbly hand. And took the book off of his face. His dark eyes squinted at the leatherback book. 

"What….?"

-

Meanwhile, Panchito and Y/n were about to barge into the building. But Y/n skidded to a stop. Placing a hand out in front of Panchito, thankfully he stopped as well. He took a moment to examine the 5 storey building. The glass, the gray and black color scale, he was pulling from his examination by looking back at Y/n when she started to speak. 

"We can't just barge in. My mom works here. Plus. That'll give away we have the book." She said. Before quickly adding. "We also can't have you out in the opening, cops knowing your face now or not, we can't risk any thing.." Y/n stared at the glass door once moving over to the side where they wouldn't be seen. Panchito and Y/n stood under a lamp post. 

"We sneak." He gave out the idea with a grin slowly forming on his beak. Y/n stared at him for a moment. "Sneak in? There's at least 10 or so people in the lobby, this is a studio. We can't just walk in whenever we want." Y/n tried to dismiss the idea, she was rarely ever in the studio. Today was her first day, she didn't know the layout nor the where any room was located, it would be noticeably harder to navigate around the building to find the book. 

"Ah, every building has an emergency exit, chica."  He moved his eyebrows up and down, as if sending a hint towards the idea, even though basically stated it. 

She looked back at him. Well...of course! The backdoor!

"Oh. I forgot about the emergency exit."

"Thank me later, now, ¡Adelante!"

-

The exit sound that illuminated the dim area glistened and glamored, basically calling out the two to its glow. Panchito lifted a foot and shook his talon. The water from the puddle he stepped in. Flickered everywhere. Causing some of the water droplets to land on Y/n. She shielded her face and a small laugh came from her. 

"Now." He walked over to the door, and with swift motion, pushed it open, he walked in the building and held the door open for Y/n, who walked in. 

"Thank you." She said. Slowly trailing off, Y/n looked at their surroundings. Panchito did as well. The door slowly closed behind the two, it echoed down the hallway. A black carpet under their feet, soaking up the water and white walls. Though Panchito wasn't facing the direction Y/n was. He placed his hands on his hips. 

"Hm, odd. Muy extraño…" he muttered under his breath, looking at the emergency exit door. Y/n looked over her shoulder to Panchito before turning around to face the door as well. 

"What?" She asks him. 

"Correct me if I'm wrong. But--Is this door not supposed to work as an emergency system? Should it not have an alarm system?" He asks. Y/n stared at the door for a mere moment. 

"Now that you said something about it y-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The two jumped at the sudden sound of the alarm going off. Three beeps would omit before going silent for a split second, before the 3 beeps would occur once again. 

"God-lee! I thought I fixed this damn thing!" A voice echoed from the hallway and set of footsteps. Y/n quickly turned around towards the stairwell where she saw a shadow of someone ascending down. 

"Here--" Panchito grabbed Y/n's wrist and quickly ushered her and himself over behind the staircase. Y/n quickly pressed her back towards the corner. Behind the stairwell, as Panchito stood in front of her. Though, curiously. He peeked from behind the staircase. Y/n didn't notice as she was busy dusting away her shirt from the dust invading the air. Obviously the emergency stairwell was neglected for cleaning. When she spotted Panchito peeking to look at the man. Y/n shuffled over as well. Peering under Panchito to look at the man. His back was turned. But he wore a gray button down, a few ink spots painted on the shirt. Jeans and boots. In his free hand, he held a mop. He obviously was the janitor. A head of brown slick hair, it only took a couple of smacks to the panel that operated the fire alarm for the emergency exit to stop abruptly with its beeping. 

Once the hallway went silent. He turned around, the two ducking back behind thr stairwell before they could be seen. Y/n couldn't get a glimpse of the man's name tag. Not that she really cared too. 

"I swear if that thing goes off one more time this week, I'm outta here.." He muttered back up to floor level. Listening to his footsteps ascend further away, and soon another door closing, echoing throughout the hall. The sound of water droplets hitting the concrete floor in the distance wherever in the hallway. As well as the AC that filled the odd ambience of the hallway. 

Soon Panchito and Y/n exited from behind the stairwell. 

"So much for a discreet plan." Y/n said before giving Panchito a sarcastic expression. But nevertheless, he only smiled. 

"We've made it inside the building, have we not?" He gave her a smile, which. He was right. At the end of the day, the two still made it in the building without getting caught. 

Y/n turned and started walking up the stairwell, Panchito following behind her. 

"Now we need to locate the book. It could be anywhere in this place. I saw it fly through a window but I couldn't catch what floor it was." Y/n went on, reaching the 3rd floor. Hearing Panchito's footsteps near her as she peered through the small window into the hallway, seeing a few doors were closed on the other side of the hallway, a few people walked down the hall to wherever they were going. The sound of muffled music emitted from down the hall, a tune that was vaguely from the early 40's. The room must have not been too far if the two could hear the cheers and singing. 

"Ooh--I love parties." Panchito pushed up the door, and immediately walked out of. Y/n quickly grabbed his tail feather and tugged on it to pull him back. 

"No! You'll get us caught!" She whispered to him hastily, Panchito cringed in pain at the tug, he whipped around and grabbed at her wrist. 

"¡Ah, cuidado con las plumas de la cola, chica!" Y/n couldn't understand what Panchito said, but she was glad it stopped him from wandering off. The two stood in the doorway of the now opened door in the empty hallway. 

"We can't just wander everywhere." She said. Panchito shuffled on his feet, he wanted to explore where the cheering was coming from,  but he stayed glued next to Y/n.

"Can we at least take a peek at the gathering?" He asks. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. "That's not giving us any answers--"

Just as she was about to more than likely prove Panchito wrong. A voice from the room a few doors down spoke up. 

"Hey! Henry, you finally made it. Where's Bendy?"

"He's in one of the meeting rooms, last I checked on him, he was reading. Oddly. He should be down soon."

Y/n and Panchito stared at each other, both seemingly trying to put two and two together. 

"Are you..?"

"I think we may be on the same page." Y/n finished, turning in the opposite direction to peer down the hall. "I'm taking a safe guess Bendy found the book, we just need to find him." Y/n said. Panchito hummed in thought. Placing a hand on his hip. 

"Bendy...you mean the--" he lifted his hands to the side of his head, lifting his index fingers to form two horns on the side of his head. Y/n looked at him, and the silly interpretation of the cartoon demon.  With a smile. She nods.

"Yes, him. Though, I don't know how many rooms are on this floor. So he'll be a bit tough to fi-"

The door from across from them opened. Revealing the demon, his eyebrows stitched together in a more perplexed and irritated expression. In his hand he held a book, the book! That was their book! Bendy was muttering under his breath, but abruptly stopped in his tracks and when he spotted Y/n and Panchito in the emergency exit. His slanted black pie cut eyes that were one resembling an angry and irritated expression. Immediately widened in surprise when he saw the two. Mostly towards Panchito as he had never seen him before. 

Y/n didn't expect to be seen so quick--which...wasn't much of a surprise as she wasn't an expert in sneaking in areas she wasn't supposed to be in. 

"Oh...Hey...Bendy.." Y/n smiled and lifted a waved. Panchito looked between the two.  

"Ah. A demon? I was thinking he was more of a bull." Panchito said. 

"I didn't know you were here today, I thought you went home." Bendy walked over to the two, but Y/n didn't want anyone to walk out and spot the two--mostly for Panchito's sake. 

"It's a long story, but. We need that--" Y/n pointed towards the book in his gloved hands. Bendy looked down at it. "Oh! This? I was just about to toss this away, it hit me in the face and--"

"Ah! It hit you? Well that--" Panchito was cut off when Y/n grabbed Panchito's jacket, pulling him back into the emergency stairwell. And closing the door quickly. Bendy looked at the two through the door in confusion. 

"Y/n! Can you believe it? We found the other, a bit less intimidating if you ask me, but nevertheless, he is a part of our equipo." Panchito hopped from one foot to the other, a small cheer. Y/n ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Bendy? Out of all people the book could have chosen. It chose the one person that worked in the same facility as her mother. What if he didn't take it well? What if he destroyed the book? What if he tells the cops about who had the book, which would not only get Panchito in trouble but also herself as she was literally helping the rooster out! 

Things she should have thought over, biting off more than what she could chew. 

Panchito noticed Y/n's distressed expression. He took a few steps towards her and placed a hand on her arm. 

"Ah, cariño, don't be stressed, all will work out fine, okay? Things are a bit sudden and bumpy,  but look! Two in one day!" He extended his arms and smiled. Y/n felt the corner of her lips stretch in a smile. Calming down and melting away the problems...for now. 

Looking over. Bendy was still standing outside the door. 

"Alright. We need a meeting then."

-

The three stared down at the leather book that was laying on the meeting table, it seemed now lifeless after flying through the neighborhood. 

“So…” Bendy removed his gaze from the book and to Y/n and Panchito. 

“Explain to me, what’s going on?” 

“I mean...I thought it would be self explanatory, a book just hit you in the face and you’re coming to me for answers?” Y/n muttered under her breath. Bendy only looked at her, at first with a blank expression, until he seemingly furrowed his ‘eyebrows’ 

Deciding on to stop fooling around and actually try to get to the bottom of the raising questions, Y/n glanced over at Panchito. Who was looking at Bendy, more curiously than anything else. 

“This book, we talked about it this morning.” Y/n said, turning to look back at Bendy. Bendy’s expression softened before a look of realization appeared on his face, his black pie-cut shaped eyes looked over at Panchito, who noticed the demon looking at him, Panchtio smiled and waved. 

“He had the book--or--stole it.” Y/n said, motionion towards Panchito, he only frowned, turning to face towards Y/n and crossing his arms. 

“No! Why must you say I steal? I never steal, I simply took something that didn’t belong where it was.” Panchito dropped the last sentence to a mumble, almost as if sleepily saying it. Y/n only turned her gaze back to Bendy. 

“Either way, that’s the book, it flew away, because it’s looking for people that revolve around the book, or the..prophecy. I know this sounds far fetched and crazy, and...illegal? Bu-”

“I’ve been hit in the face by a flying book, I don’t think anything we’re about to discuss is too out of this world.” Bendy said. He picked the book up and once again examined it. His gloved fingers feeling the texture of the leather book against his fingers. 

“Well, apparently...the book only opens up to people that are a part of the book, it opened for me and Panchito, and I’m assuming that if it flew to you and tracked you down, you’re the next member to...whatever..this is.” She motions towards the three of them. Panchito then nods, raising a hand to interject. 

“Indeed! Y/n, is the only human that can access the book, as it says in the wordings of the book, the rest are toons. In all. There are eight of us.”

“8?” Bendy repeats, he seemed surprised by the number, his tail slowly lifting up. Panchito nods once again. 

“Sí, señor--”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Bendy interrupts Panchito. Waving a hand slightly, Bendy closes his eyes to think for a mere moment. He raises a pointer finger before looking between Y/n and Panchito. 

“Why..exactly is the book looking for people, how would we find the rest of the team? I would ask why exactly us specifically are involved around this, but I can tell, I won’t get a good answer from that, but that’s besides the point,  but why is Y/n the only human involved in this, and what exactly is it that’s...bad for this thing to try and suddenly wake up and choose heroes for whatever reason?” Bendy lifts up the book slightly. Y/n listened to him, but she had no answer on her because...well she didn’t know, for the most part, those were the same questions she was internally asking herself! 

So, she turned her head to look over at Panchito. Who with no problem, took the lead in asking. 

“The book leads us to the people it is looking for, why and what it is that it’s warning us about, I do not know! Why us specifically? I also can not tell you, because I don’t know.” He said. Bendy looked back at the book. Y/n motioned towards it, having a small hunch of one of the questions.

“When I touched the book...I guess in a way, signed it, as if taking my signature, which I guess signaled it that I was found, maybe if you touch the book as well it’ll do the same for you.” Y/n said. Bendy opened the book, the golden light that was one seen before escaped from the crevices of the book, The debri sparkles floating from the pages. Bendy’s eyes widen in bewilderment and surprisement. The three stared down at the book, the golden glow illuminating from their faces. 

Bendy had opened up on a blank paper, soon, his eyebrows furrowed yet again.

“It’s blank. I don’t---I don’t think it works for me.” He said before deadpanning. Looking between the two as if they were pulling his leg. Y/n could only shrug slowly. Panchito waved his hand and spoke. “Nonsense. As said, the book only opens for people that are chosen, it’s like a safe, and only the chosen people are the code to it, my friend, if it opened up for you, you are with us.” Panchito then rose his gloved hand, showing his palm. 

“Ahora, place your hand on the page.” He told Bendy, Bendy did as told, holding the book with his left hand, and placing his right palm on the blank paper, soon, the golden light traced around his hand, similar to what it did for Y/n’s. Bendy soon lifted a hand up, seeing his hand printed labeled the paper in ink. The same ink soon scrawled a name above the hand print. 

‘Bendy’ 

“Dear me…” Bendy whispered slowly, flipped a page quickly to the next, One that Y/n had yet to discover, though it was written all in a language she couldn’t understand, but pictures were drawn in what seemed to be red and black pigment paint on the beige paintings. Similar to how cave paintings were drawn. Panchito and Y/n moved closer to get a better look at the pictures, Bendy tilting the book so the three of them could examine it. 

On the first page was a picture of 12 people in all, they all seemed to be jumping towards the 8 black figures, the black figures had white thin slanted angles, as if resembling resentful and angry eyes.  Looking over to the next page, it showed the 8 black figures once again, One stood out from the 8, standing in front of the group, a lanky figure, but...really considering the fact that it was in all black, the features weren’t exactly too noticeable. But the picture had a lot going on, the 8 figures were hovering above what seemed to be a city, with figures of red pigment running away  in fear, it seemed the 8 black figures were terrorizing the people, Bendy turned to yet another page, on the page the 12 blue figures were standing next to each other, one vaguely similar to a human and the rest had the exaggerated details of toons. 

“I think you two have the wrong idea.” Bendy said, it took Y/n a moment to look away from the book. Glancing at Bendy who looked between Panchito and Y/n.  

“There aren’t 8 of us, there’s 12 of us.” He said. Y/n scoffed. 

“Twelve?! That will take years to find twelve different people. He--” She jabbed a thumb over to Panchito, pointing at him.

“Came from Mexico to find us, god knows wherever the others are located, we’re basically split apart. Eight people? Yeah, that seemed like a reasonable number, but twelve? No. I’m out.” Y/n crossed her arms, a scavenger hunt for now, 9 other people? Who were the even up against, it pretty much seemed like a suicicde job already, a stolen book, a wanted rooster, a telltale book that’s some sort of warning for some odd future armageddon. Red flags were everywhere! 

Bendy closed the book and straightened his posture. 

“Whoa, whoa. What do ya’ mean you’re out? This--” He lifts up the book slightly.

“This is our guide, our time to do right and-gosh. I assume it will stop something from happening that will be a problem to--oh, I don’t know. All of mankind! You’re a part of this as much as Panchito and I.” Bendy says. Panchito nods firmly in agreement, taking a step forward and standing next to the demon.

 “¡Sí! He is right, chica! We all have to stick together.” 

Y/n looked between the two, her eyebrow twitched slightly before furrowing. 

“Are you serious? Do we look like the Justice League or something?” 

Panchito actually took a moment to think.

“I was thinking more along the lines of--” 

Y/n shook her head, dismissing Panchito’s thought to her rhetorical question. “It doesn't matter. But think about the danger we could be in, Bendy, you have shows to star in, you can’t just go missing to play superhero for...lord knows how long, and Panchito--”

“Actually.” Bendy cut her off, taking a few steps towards her before standing next to her.

“I’ve been meaning to take a vacation off, toots. Thanks for that advice though,  real sweet of ya. But, we have things to do, now I don’t mind dragging you around if need be.” He smiled sweetly at her. Y/n deadpanned. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“This is serious talk Y/n, the world as we know it might be at stake.” Bendy motions around their area. 

“Might be. It’s more than likely not a serious call, this stupid old book is probably broken.” Y/n flicks the book with the tip of her fingers in Bendy’s hand. Panchito suddenly appeared behind the two, wrapping an arm around Bendy’s and Y/n’s shoulders. Pulling them flushed against his sides.

“My friends! Think of this this way, endless possibilities and adventures, don’t you all want to feel the rush of the wind as we take off to go solve this mystery?” He looks between the two, letting the two go. A bright yet determined smile on his beak, he seemed to run from adrenaline, a wild hearted toon that yearned for wild things, to him this was exciting, brand new. Exhilarating! 

Bendy looks at Panchito and then to Y/n. “See? He’s in, and I am too.” Bendy placed his gloved hand in the middle, his palm facing downward. Panchito hopped up and down quickly.

“Ay caramba! ��Yo también quiero participar! I am certainly in!” He placed a hand on top of Bendy’s, Bendy’s smile widened before both he and Panchito looked at Y/n, who had her arms crossed, a sour expression written on her face, although it was much of a facade, she did...want to join. Not only was it a chance to finally do something productive--if she would even call it that. But she would break down the mystery of all that’s going on. As detective Droopy would say. The why, the when, and the where? She thinks it...it..wouldn’t hurt, they technically aren't breaking the law by wielding a book that is being searched for, not when it was for a good reason? Right? 

“Come on...you know you want to.” Bendy mischievous tone interrupts her. Y/n sighed slowly. Placing a hand on top of Panchito’s who once again excitedly smiled at her. 

“Fine. I’m in too. If one of us is wanted, then we all are.” She said. Bendy smiled and let out a boisterous. 

“And if one of us dies, we all die together! Oath!” 

“Oath!”

“Oa-wait no--” 

But the three already tossed their hands up, taking the oath that Y/n was too late to decline for. Bendy could tell she was about to say something, but he only smiled and walked back over to the meeting table. 

“Now, let’s see where the next one is!” 

-

Annie was back at the front desk, seated in the chair scrolling through her phone to pass the time as the studio would be running late since Henry was back in the building. Soon, a figure walked through the door. Wearing a heavy black trench coat, the finest coat in town it seemed, the water droplets from the rain stuck to the trench coat, the black boots tapping yet squeaking on the linoleum floor, A black fedora tilted down, covering the face of the man, who stopped directly in front of the receptionist desk. Annie took notice, and she gazed up, turning off her phone and placing it on the desk, she stood up and smiled. 

“Hello, what may I do for you today?” She asks. The man was silent for a moment.

“It’s me you dingus, I just sent you in here.” The voice was a husky yet deep voice. The blue eyes piercing at the lady.  Soon Annie lost her posture, slouching slightly. Her voice changed, turning several octaves, a shrill and jagged voice emitted from her. 

“Oh right, I don’t see why ya’  didn’t just walk in, the broad wasn’t even around, no one woulda’ suspect a thing.” Annie’s body morphed in and quickly dropped to the ground, only leaving a shadow that quickly zipped out of the receptionist desk, stopping right next to the man. Soon a short figure morphed into what could assemble a toon shadow. Only standing around half the height of the man. 

“Go find the book. And take it.” The man ordered the shadow. The shadow stood stiff as a board before quickly saluting the man.

“Yes sir!” And soon, it zipped away, only seeming like a shadow on the floor zipping across the room. The man looked forward, only to look back over to his side when he saw the shadow zipped right back to him. The shadow sheepishly nudging the tip of its foot to the ground.

“Ah, who has the book again?” 

“The girl and those two other idiots you fool!” 

“Ah! On it!” 

And once again the shadow zipped away. The man muttered under his breath shaking his head in annoyance,

“I don’t even know why I even deal with those two idiots…” He muttered. Soon, lifting a hand and pressing a hidden black button on the color of his trench coat jacket. 

“Zot, come in. Zip just left to find the book. Is the toon still with you?” The man spoke into the two way radio. 

-

From outside the two way radio reached to a black van, from inside thumping was heard, as if someone was hitting the inside of the van. Sitting in the driver seat was another stout shadow like toon, it’s blank eyes were closed, feet propped up on the steering wheel, he was asleep. Snoring ever so slightly, until he heard his commander speak on the radio. The static picking up the man in the trench coats voice. 

“Zot, come in. Zip just left to find the book. Is the toon still with you?”

Zot--as he was referred to. Flinched quickly got up once hearing the voice. Quickly taking the walkie talkie, as it almost slipped from his hands multiple times. Zot soon spoke. 

“Yes sir! The lil’ guy is still back there.”  Zot stood up in his seat, placing a hand on the metal peephole slider, sliding it over and revealing a black abyss that was the back of the van. 

“Hey...where’d he go…?” Zot muttered. Clenching the eye he wasn’t using as his blank white optic stare hardened to try and find the toon. 

PPPPPFFFT!!

The droplets of saliva fell in his eye, causing Zot to flinch back and his head to hit the steering wheel. 

Honk!

The air horn went off at the touch of the shadow toons head on the wheel. Zot quickly got up. Lifting a hand and flicking a button on the roof of the van. The lights came on in the back of the vam, where the hostage toon was located. 

“Nice try, bunny.” Zot scoffed. 

From the other side of the van. Sat a black and white rabbit, with blue trousers. His pie cut shaped eyes slanted, his arms crossed tighty. 

“I’m a rabbit! For your information.” 

“Same thing.” 

This rabbit was known as Oswald the Lucky rabbit. A peculiar and mischievous character. Zot laughed and then sat back down in his seat. 

“What’s the matter rabbit boy? Your luck is not much of a help? Seems like you’re runnin’ out of it.” Zot placed his feet back onto the steering wheel. Oswald got up. His ears slowly rose as he stared at the peephole. 

“My luck is very much accurate, and good. Thank you very much..” He said. Zot only hummed in acknowledgment. 

“Whatever you say. Boss’ll get that book, and the next thing you know, his plan will be in full action.”

“Where’s the book?” Oswald asks, leaning near the peephole. Zot motioned towards the building, that Oswald couldn’t see.

“The building. Don’t get your tail in a twist, you’ll see it soon.” 

-

“Okay, let’s see what this bad boy will do…” Bendy places the book on the table. And opened it yet again. The book once again opened, the golden glow escaping from the pages, illuminating the room with its warm glow. Soon, the pages started to flip quickly, turning towards the middle of the book, a world map was located on the page. 

“A map?” Y/n squints at the paper. 

“Well, amigos. It is a map, perhaps it will help lead us to our next destination.” Panchito said, reaching over and flipping the page. At first the next page was blank, until an ink sketch of the U.S. was drawn. The ink splitting up to draw down the states in the country. 

One state was completely covered in blank, as it marked. Or, targeted. 

“Oregon?” Y/n whispered. Bendy looked closer to the paper with squinted eyes. Near the coast of Oregon, a red down bled through, as if marked by a dot. Bendy could mesmerize exactly where exactly to go.

“Duckburg.” He said. Y/n and Panchito looked at him. Though, Y/n hadn’t said anything yet. A quick look of realization quickly took over his face.

“Ah!  ¡Oh, sí! ¡Oh, sí! ¡Oh, sí! ¡Qué buen trato! ¡Estoy muy emocionado! ¡Mi amigo, mi honorable amigo! Donal'” He screamed and yelled in passion of excitement. Hopping up and down, his arms wrapping around Y/n, causing her to hop around with him. But she placed her arms on his forearms.

“Wait! Wait! Panchito, calm down!” She said. Which he listened to her, coming to a halt, he removed himself from her. His tail feathers frantically frizzing up.  

Bendy turned away from the book and turned to look at Panchito.

“I’m assuming you know someone from down there?” He asks. Panchito quickly nods.

“Yes! My blood! My friend! A true gentleman he is! His name is Donal’ A bit of a stubborn bull, but--by god, isn’t he one adventurous duck!” Panchito said. He spoke with such passion about his friend. Bendy pie cut shape eyes were slanted slightly, he was thinking who Panchito could be referring to by the name of...Donal’. Until Panchito finished his sentence with ‘duck’

Bendy quickly perked up.

“Duck? As in, Donald Duck? Sailor wearing, Donald Duck?” Bendy asks. Panchito nods quickly with a smile. Y/n heard of the duck. Obviously. He wouldn’t. But oddly enough, he didn’t live in the city of Hollywood L.A. like most notorious toons did, such as Bendy. And hearing Panchito knew and was friends with Donald Duck, made her curious. 

“You know Donald Duck?” Y/n asks Panchito--who once again nods.

“Yes! We are very close friends, we have been friends for years! I also have another friend, that sly malandro he is! His name is José Carioca! A-”

“Perfect! This is perfect!” Bendy extended his arms and looked at the two. 

“A much easier way to get to the toon, all we need is to leave for Oregon, Duckburg, and that’ll be 4 of us when we get Donald.” He says. Panchito tails quickly ruffled as he shuffled on his feet in excitement. 

“I can’t just leave home and tell my mom, ‘hey, I’m leaving to a state that’s 10 hours away, to save the world.’ Plus, how will we get there?” She asks. Bendy chuckles, pointing a thumb to his bow tie. 

“Leave it to Bendy, I got a plan that’ll let you go, plus. You have a car don’t you? How’d you get here? Or did you walk all the way in the rain?” 

“I drove my dad's car, and no. We’re not using his car to drive.” She then looked over at Panchito, who still was a bit excited with the mention of his friend.  

“And we can’t ride a plane. Not with him and knowing he’ll be on the lookout for, we need to be as inconspicuous as possible. We can’t risk getting caught in a way.” Y/n said. 

“I hear ya’ loud and clear sweetheart, We’ll just take Henry’s car, he rarely uses it anyway, and usually hands it to me and Boris whenever we need places to go.” He said. Y/n nods with a small smile.

“Well we have that, I need to find a way to influence my mom to let me go..”

“Like I said. I got it, I gots the talks, looks and…” Bendy tried to think of another attribute before Panchito butted in.

“Style.” He said. Bendy smiled in gratitude at Panchito. 

“Indeed, Thank you.”

“Ahahaha! Yeah! But you don’t have the brains!” A shrilly voice cackled. Y/n, Bendy, and Panchito looked at eachother, puzzled expressions etched on their faces. Soon, the voice spoke up yet again.

“Over here you idiots!” The three quickly looked over to the opened window that Bendy left open when the book collided into his face. Zip--the shadow was standing in the frame, holding the book above his head as if showcasing a trophy. 

“Oh mamá..” Panchito muttered. Bendy quickly patted himself down and looked around to see if the book they had was still present, making sure that the book wasn’t actually taken. Once seeing it was indeed the book the shadow had in its hand, his tail dropped to the ground. 

“Well, I think I can confess where I went wrong--” 

“Hey! Give it back!” Y/n ran towards the window, once getting closed she outretcted her arms in an attempt to grab at the book, but the shadow quickly ducked down and zipped down the building, with the book in town, down straight to the first level. 

“No!--”

“Who was that?!” Bendy looked at Panchito, to see if he had any answers, but the mexican rooster only shrugged frantically. “¡No lo sé!” Panchito said. Bendy quickly ran over to the door and opened it, revealing Henry standing at the doorway, but he was busy looking towards the side--talking someone pass by to notice, Y/n and Panchito in the room. Bendy’s tail stiffened, he quickly slammed the door with a loud.

‘SLAM!’

Henry flinched at the sudden door slamming, the wind from the door slamming slightly moved his hair. He gave the door a questioning look. 

“Bendy? Are you okay in there? We all heard you shouting.” 

Henry’s worried muffled voice emitted from the door. Bendy pushed Panchito into a nearby filing cabinet storage, slamming the door in his face and quickly locking it with the spare key that was in the room. Hiding the key in his glove before he turned over to Y/n who was quickly trying to find a place to hide, but there weren't many places to hide in a meeting room that only had a table and chairs. With the adrenaline rushing from the fact someone stole the book and getting caught to Henry Stein himself only made her overwhelmed. She peeked out the window once again, and noticed a black van. The shadow that took the book was standing next to two others, a man in a trench coat was opening the back of the van. 

“Yeah! I am completely fine, you know, I’ve been losing my voice lately, so--I was doing voice exercise and whatever--”  Bendy said, grinning at the door.

“I smell a lie, maybe he’s destroying stuff again.” Stated a new voice from behind the door, another worker from in the studio. Bendy seemed offended by the accusation--which was partially true, but still! 

“Shut up, Sammy.” a female voice piped up. Ah, Alice Angel. From what it seemed, most of the main coworkers were in front of the door. 

Y/n was still peering through the window. Watching. Soon, the man in the trenchcoat pulled out a toon from the van, a rabbit--gripping him by his ears. The rabbit flailed his feet in anger and irritation, distant shouts  from the rabbit, clearly showed distress. 

-

“Hey! Let me go! Hey--watch the ears!” Oswald shouts, flailing his feet. The man in the trench coat ignored Oswald, before looking over at Zip, Zip lifted up the book to Oswald’s heights due to the man having a grip on the rabbits ears. 

“Open the book.” The man ordered. Oswald crossed his arms. 

“No.” 

“Open it. Now.” 

“Do it, yourself.”

“We can’t, duh. That’s why we have you.” Zot said. Oswald only swung and his foot hit Zot square in his face. Sending the shadow toon back and hitting the ground, falling into a puddle. Luckily, the rain had subsided. 

“I.Said.No!!!” 

The man in the trench coat, slowly looked up, over towards the building. Locking eyes with Y/n. 

“Get that girl.” He ordered. Zip looked up once again towards Y/n, who was still looking, not breaking down...or what they thought. Zip dropped the book on Zot, causing the shadow toon to groan yet again. 

Zip soon zipped off yet again towards the building. 

-

“Are you going to join the party with us?” Henry asks through the door. Standing beside him was, Sammy Lawrewnce, the well kept yet stubborn and easily aggravated music composer, head director in the studio, next to him was M/n, Alice Angel. Everyone’s favorite sweet angel, and Boris, Bendy’s loving best friend, standing next to Bendy, was Normon Polk the southern worker in the studio. Normon chuckled and nudged Sammy. 

“He’s hidin’ somethin’.” Norman said. Sammy rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, I bet. Bendy, stop joking. Come on, we breaked our ass putting this party together, let’s go or I’m busting in.” He said.

On the other side of the door, Bendy only laughed through his teeth. 

“Oh, Sammy you tease! You get me everytime, would you hide already?” Bendy turned to Y/n, muttering the last part to her, Y/n quickly turned around towards Bendy.

“There’s a person, with a coat--and-he-and--he had a toon, th-”

“Surprise!” Zip suddenly appeared in the frame of the window yet again, grabbing the hood of Y/n’s jacket, snatching her out of the room, the girl didn’t have enough time to react, as she was suddenly dragged out the window. Feeling the floor below her disappear. She could see Bendy quickly try to grab onto her foot, but by an inch he missed.

“Y/n!” He shouts. 

“Y/n?” M/n said from the other side of the door. Bendy realized his error and quickly slammed the door closed, cursing under his breath before and rushed over to the door.

“I mean! I-Yes! Y/n, oh--I miss her so much, our meeting today was just so wonderful--you know, M/n, I miss her so much, I believe both me and Y/n should go on a trip--” He started, he took the key back out of his glove, frantically crawling over the meeting table, sliding papers out of the way and almost falling onto the floor, but, he made it back over to the filing cabinet, where he quickly pulled Panchito back out. 

“A trip?” M/n said. Sammy nudged her. 

“Don’t even buy into it.” Sammy said. Annie suddenly appeared once hearing the conversation about a trip. “I love trips, the young lady should get out of the house more.” Annie said. This actually made M/n think for a moment. Well..yes, Y/n was 18, able to do what she pleased. 

Back on the other side of the door, Bendy turned Panchito around and grabbed the lasso that was hidden behind his feathers that he almost hadn’t noticed--luckily earlier he did. As doing so, he reached into the filing cabinet and took another set of rope---that oddly was in the cabinet, but he took it and lifted it to his horn, cutting off a small amount to make the lasso longer. He spoke as he did so; “Yes, I was thinking Oregon, you know. Tomorrow, me and her. I promise that nothing bad will happen, you know I myself needed a break too, and Y/n is such a great person! Though M/n I think maybe I should talk to you first about it.”  

“You know, Y/n does need some time out away from home! I’ll tell her when I get home!” M/n smiled. Sammy scoffed. “What? Are you serious?” 

“Who’s Y/n?” Alice muttered to Boris. Boris only shrugged in response. 

“Well, we’ll be in the next room where the party is, join us whenever--come on guys.” Henry ushered everyone away from the door. Sammy scolded M/n, as Annie was defending why Y/n should leave the house. Once Bendy knew they were away, he quickly rushed over to the window window and flung it open. Panchito looked around frantically. 

“Where is Y/n?”

“That thing took her.” Bendy said, he soon heard a shout, looking off across the parking lot--which was empty--it was an old parking lot, that was never used, and he could see the van that Y/n was talking about, Y/n was dangling in the air, the shadow toon held her by her hood. 

Panchito noticed, and was the first to speak up.

“Hey! Put her down you scoundrel!” He shouts. 

Oswald looked up and saw Zip had a hold of the girl he saw peeking from the window.  The man in the trenchcoat growled.

“Zip! Take the girl away and get rid of her!” He shouts. Zip looked down at the man, Zot looked up at Zip, they were distracted. Oswald quickly swung his body, and flipped, his feet ramming right in the man's face, the man in the trench coat lost grip of the rabbit's ears. Causing Oswald to land on his feet perfectly. Zot quickie looked over at Oswald, his white eyes widening at the fact the rabbit got loose from his boss. Oswald quickly rammed into Zot, causing the shadow to fall to the ground back into the puddle. Oswald grabbed the book and with all his strength tossed it towards Zip, the book hit the flying shadow toon, causing him to drop Y/n, who yelped and felt her body freefall towards the concrete. Oswald quickly ran over towards where he suspected she would fall. 

“I gotcha sweetheart!” Soon, Y/n landed in his arms. Oswald smiled at Y/n, who was shivering from almost thinking she was about to die. 

“Thank you.” Y/n quickly said. Oswald smiled in return and nodded before placing her on the ground. The book started to fall towards the ground once again, in the building. Panchito grabbed the lasso and hopped onto the frame of the window. 

“¡Sube, amigo!” Pancito said. He swung a loop of the lasso and tossed it out the window where it wrapped around a nearby lamppost.Tightening his grip, Bendy hopped on the window as well, grabbing to the rope as well, and without hesitation Panchito pushed off the building, sending the two swinging across the parking lot, growing closer to the book, Panchtio spoke to Bendy, shouting above the wind.

“The book! Grab the book!” He shouts. Bendy took notice of the book that was nearing the ground, and just with the nick of time, he grabbed the book. 

“Get them!” The man in the trench coat shouts in anger.

“Y/n!” Panchito extends an arm for Y/n to grab onto. Y/n looked at Oswald and quickly took his arm. 

“Grab on.” She told the rabbit. Once the two grew closer, Oswald jumped up and grabbed onto the rope near Bendy, and Y/n hopped up, Panchito grabbed onto Y/n, wrapping an arm around her waist, as Y/n tightly held onto the rope, the wind traveling and hitting the 4 of them, Y/n couldn’t help but smile, feeling the bits of rain hit her face and the wind made her feel as if she were on a coaster, the rope was so long, and they had so much momentum that they made it out of the parking lot, the many lights of the cars driving down the street of L.A. caused Y/n to watch in awe. 

“Wow! You’re good at this!” Bendy shouts to Panchito over the wind. Panchito only smiles. 

“Oh no, this is my first time! I lasso bulls and horses.”

“Wait what?” 

Soon, the four were abruptly jerked back, the rope ran out and Panchito lost his grip on the rope, seeing he was the main support, everyone abruptly fell, luckily they were above a building that was across the street.

“Oof!” Y/n fell onto her side, her hip hitting the ground harshly. Bendy had fallen on top of a vent, the cage breaking and he soon fell into the vent.

“Aah!” The bumping and the echoing of his sudden scream trailed down the vent wherever he was heading. 

“Bendy!” Y/n groaned, she quickly got up the stinging pain of her side itched in irritation. Panchito fell somewhere near her. But he quickly shot up, looking around for his sombrero, once he found it behind him, he dusted it off and placed it back on his head. 

“Ahaha! Ay caramba! That was amazing, chica,  mi amor, you might be better at adventuring than Donal’, not many people can perfect hopping onto an ongoing rope!” 

Soon, a scream was heard and then a loud; THUD! CRASH!

The two quickly turned around and saw Oswald, who quickly stood up in a hurry to take buket off from his face. Angry slurs emitted from the bucket, but they were incoherent. Oswald finally took off the buck and almost immediately hurled it off the roof. Another crash was heard and then the sound of a car alarm going off.

“I have had enough! This can’t be!” He shouts at the top of his lungs. His ears flattening against his head. 

“My luck! It’s gone! It’s gone! It’s gone! IT’S GONE!” He hurled a foot back and kicked another bucket away. 

Y/n and Panchito stared at Oswald. Panchito looked at Y/n and with his index finger, twirled a finger around the side of his head. 

“Loco.”  He whispered to her. Y/n didn’t utter a word to the rabbit...maybe..there was a reason he was in that van. No, that’s crazy. Those...shadow toons, the man in the trench coat, they wanted to book, they had to be some sort of bad guy to them, but why did they want the rabbit? 

Oswald had his clinched closed, suddenly, his hostile demeanor diminished rather quickly before he turned around and looked at the two with a smile.

“I’m sorry, I’ve-You see I’ve been held hostage for about...four. Five days now.”  He said, walking over to the two and then standing in front of them.  

“Why?” Y/n asked.

“Trench Coat, fella’ wants to use me as a key to open the book for him for..whatever plan he has, I was his key basically after he figured that I was--as he claimed--one of the chosen people for the book that will only open for select people.” He said. He...he was the 4th one. 

“We...have the book because it opens for us.” Y/n said, pointing to herself and Panchito. Oswald's eyes widened.

“Wh-I’ve been searching for at least one person high and low for years and you two found each other how long ago?” 

“Oh, we all met each other today! Ah, and we met you, the new addition,” Panchito said. Oswald seemed astonished. Panchito smiled.

“I know, crazy, I guess you don’t have much luck huh?” He blindly said...but it seemed to Y/n, Panchito purposely said it. Nudging him, Y/n spoke up. 

“Yes, there’s actually 3 of us a---oh fu---Bendy fell in the building, I forgot!” Y/n looked at the two.

“He has the book, we have to get in there.”

“Oh-wait wait, My name is Oswald, I was thinking since we’ll be working together from now on I would introduce myself.” He said, reaching a hand out. Panchito was the first to grab onto the rabbits hand and shake quickly.

“Hello, friend! My name is Panchito.” Panchtio then looked over at Y/n. 

“And my name is Y/n.” 

“Very well, now. Let’s go.”

-

Pushing open the double doors opened, two black boots stepped into the room that was filled with the smell of cigarettes, booze, the sound of biker rock music echoing through the establishment of the bar, the dim golden lights brought a warm glow. The people in the bar paid no mind to the newcomer. The man in the trenchcoat walked passed the table of the two men arm wrestling the man on the left lost, his hand hitting the table, the bear glass cups fell to the floor and shattered due to the sudden impact, the man who won laughed and cheered in victory. The man in the trench coat clicked his tongue and shook his head. 

Bendy hid behind a wooden pillar that the man walked by, gripping the book close to his chest. 

“Hello sir, what can I get for ya.” The bartender said. The man in the trench coat sat down on a stool Placing his forearms on the table. 

“Whisky on rocks.” He replied. The man nodded before turning away to make the drink. Bendy had peered from around the pillar, seeing the man was seemingly distracted. He turned around slowly and with all his might, tried to sneakily sneak through the front door.  But the man with the trench coat quickly, with the speed of lightning, tossed something to his side without batting Bendy an eye. 

THUNK!

The sound of a knife wedging into wood caused Bendy to immediately stop walking. Above him, between his horns, a pocket knife was embedded in the wood of the pillar. Bendy’s tail immediately dropped to the floor, before he turned around to face the man. A strained smile pulled onto his face. 

Soon, the two doors burst open, Panchito rolled through the doors somersaulting, landing on his right knee as he supported himself with his left foot. He pulled out the two pistols from his holster and aimed them towards no one in particular.

“Alright, hands in the air, now!” He shouts. Bendy noticed a red bandanna wrapped around Panchito’s face. The people in the bar immediately stopped speaking and looked over towards the door towards Panchito. Bendy looked at Panchito as well. Oswald walked through the door as well, and soon, Y/n entered as well. Mostly hesitantly. 

It was a part of the plan, creating a distraction. Soon, the man with the trenchcoat only squinted his eyes at the odd group. And soon, he snapped his fingers, and the two shadow toons jolted from a shadow of another person from the bar, creating two lanky and stout toon, Zip and Zot that the four saw several minutes ago. 

Panchito finally got a good glimpse of the two components, and stood up straight.

“Ah, what short fellows! So cute.”

“Cute!?” Zip exclaims, he soon shot towards Oswald quickly and tackled him to the ground. Scratching at the rabbits face like a rabid dog.

“Ow! Oh my--why me! Ow! Get it off!!!” Oswald screams. Y/n cupped her face from anyone, as if not wanting to seem like she was associated with the three toons. Soon, Oswald yelps to Panchito.

“Get on with the plan already! Oh dear!!” 

“Right! Hey you!” Panchito looked over at the two arm wrestlers. One man placed a hand on his chest as if saying; ‘Who me?’

“Yes, you. Your friend hates the way you compete with him, he said you smell like a bag of rotten onions.” Panchito said. The man gasped and looked at his arm wrestling component.

“Oh yeah?! Well how about this!” The man hurled a punch towards the man, the man fell to the ground, blood spraying from his nose, he lifted a hand up to feel the blood on his fingers, before looking at the man that hit him. 

“...”

“AAAAAH!” Soon the bar started fighting, tossing glass, chairs, tables, and all. A bar fight! Immediately Oswald pushed Zip off of him, the rabbit got up quickly, Bendy rushed over, holding the book in his hands. 

“What’s up with the guns?”

“Dramatic effect.” Panchito says. 

“Let’s get out of here, guys.” Y/n said, turning around to open the door, but the door was immediately opened up, standing in the doorway, were three toons, the three wore the same shirt, cap and pants.

“Beagle Boys..” Oswald hissed as he held his eye closed that was scratched. 

“Oh please. No need to worry about them,  excuse us sirs, we will be on our way.” Panchito stood in front of the group protectively.

But, they didn’t listen to him. Instead they pushed Oswald and Panchito over slightly. Looking over at Bendy, who was holding the book. One of the beagle boys rose a buff arm, Y/n almost a; ‘cl clink’ as if they were cocking a gun, and with all their might, sent a punch to Bendy, hitting him in the face, and like in any other cartoon and the toon he was, sent him flying across the room, loud crashes and shouts echoed, Y/n yelped and turned around and saw Bendy’s feet hanging out of a wall that he broke through from the strong impact. 

Steam emitted from the beagle toons fist, and all it took was one blow, to blow away the steam as if it were a gun. 

“Bendy!” Y/n shouts. She watched him shakily and slowly remove himself from the wall, she saw stars and birds flying around his head as he stumbled back and forth, a dazed look on his face as he held a finger up as if he were about to speak, but he soon fell to the ground. 

Panchito, Oswald and Y/n looked back at the beagle boys, Panchito’s narrowed his eyes and immediately got into a stance to fight. 

“¡¿Pusiste tus manos sobre mi amigo?!” He shouts. 

“Let’s get 'em all.” Said one beagle boy. But a new voice piped in. 

“Leave the girl to me, boys.” a female sultry voice emits, the beagle boys stepped to the side to reveal...a duck toon. Short silky black hair, a black blouse and black pants. Her dark eyes pierced into Y/n’s e/c eyes. 

“Eliminate them. We have what we need.” The man in the trench coat stood behind them all, holding the book. 

“And don’t kill the rabbit, we still need him. Bring him to me when you all finish them off.” He said as he turned and walked off, waving a hand the emergency door opened before he left the building with the book! No one in the bar cared for the fact off the man in the coat, but much rather they were still fighting. 

“No, the book!” Oswald tugged his ears in stress. Soon, the female duck walked closer to the group. Panchito moved his gaze to her. 

“Magica..” Oswald said yet another name. Y/n was...who was that? Who were the beagle boys?! Were they working for that odd man in the trench coat?! 

“Sorry, not hear to talk, have to do my job.”  

Immediately, one of the beagle boys launched at Panchito, Panchito was quick to back away, grabbing onto broken wooden plank and swinging it, hitting the beagle’s face, Oswald did the same, instead he picked up a beer bottle hitting the beagle boy with the glass, which broke into shards from the compact.

Y/n had her focus on the Magica women. 

“Alright, show me what you got.” Magica said. Y/n quickly found a stance, her gaze focusing on the duck. Magica threw a punch towards Y/n, with surprising good speed, Y/n moved away from the fist, in an attempt to throw a punch as well, Magica quickly raised a hand and Y/n’s hand froze in midair. 

“Wha-” Y/n tried to throw another punch with the other arm, but Magica did the same with that arm, Y/n finally took notice, the duck was more than likely wielding some sort of powers...hinting towards her name..

Magica lifted a foot, and immediately kicked Y/n in her torso, the girl fell down, hitting the wood floor, falling on top of glass shards and other debris. Groaning at the impact, Y/n made a painful expression, feeling the sore on her torso, the wind knocked from her. Magica took a knife from the counter, she grabbed Y/n by the collar of her shirt, lifting her up with ease.

“You know, it’s nice to see one of the few heros, didn’t expect to kill you guys off so quick,” She said. Y/n reached behind her as Magica examined Y/n’s expression, Y/n felt the beer bottle on the counter. Grabbing the neck of the beer bottle, she felt the adrenaline pump through her, no, she was not going to let some random person hit and beat on her, they needed that book, the burning feeling of determination was firing up, and with quick speed, Y/n swung her arm, and smashed the glass bottle across Magica’s head, the duck gasped in surprise, along with a small yelp, she dropped Y/n, and Y/n quickly.  Threw yet another punch, Magica fell to the ground, holding her beak with closed eyes and a pained yet furious expression, Y/n spotted Panchitio striking a punch to one of the beagle boys, Oswald did the same to the last two of them, Panchito whistled across the room to Oswald, tossing the rope to him, Oswald grabbed the end of the rope that was tossed, and the two ran, Panchito running around clockwise, as Oswald did the same, counter clockwise. The rose wrapping the beagle boys up. 

“Ahah!” Panchito laughed as the beagle boys fell to the ground as the rope tightened. Y/n didn’t notice Magica get back up. The sudden feeling of someone on her caused Y/n to fall and roll across the ground, it was Oswald. Soon, a chair was seen falling in the position that Y/n was in, Magica must have thrown it. 

Oswald got off Y/n with a smile and helped her up. 

“Thanks I didn--watch out!” Y/n noticed the array of knives and forks flying towards the  two, both Oswald and Y/n  split and ran towards different directions. Y/n hopped over a table, landing on the dishes that were still there, the feeling of foot plastering on her clothes, she rolled off the table and onto the floor. The knives hit the table as if it were raining. She quickly scattered across the floor, pushing past people that were still fighting, like any other bar fight. 

Y/n grabbed a ceramic plate and quickly tossed it as if it were a frisbee, but it didn’t hit Magica, instead she hopped from out of the way, Y/n ran past Panchito, who pulled out another rode from behind it--turns out he had to lassos. 

“Y/n, here!” He calls out. Y/n ran back over, almost falling as she dodged a flying cup that Magica tossed. Y/n ran over and took the rope, and as Oswald and Panchito did, Y/n and Panchito did the same, circling the rope around Magica, the duck tried to keep track of the two speedy enemies--in her eyes--she couldn’t keep a good track. But--the rope wrapped around her, and Y/n tossed the other rope to Panchito, who took it and tied a knot to the rope. 

“Let go of me!” Magica shouts. 

“Hey! Watch out!” Oswald shouted from across the room, Y/n and Panchito looked over and saw Zip zipping passed, under Y/n’s feet, causing her to lose balance and fall on to the floor yet again.  The shadow ran around the room quickly, speedily, so quickly that Y/n could feel the wind and cool air circulating in the room, Panchito tried to keep track of where the shadow went, but Zip was like a speedy mouse. Y/n quickly stood up, and spotted Zot, who had  charged for Oswald, the rabbit was busy trying to track down Zip he didn’t know they fell for the trap, Zip was the distraction as--

“Hey! Let me go!” Zot took ahold of Oswald, holding onto his ears, Oswald lifted a foot to kick the shadow, but soon, from the wall, a dark bubbling rip of black ink like liquid, formed on the wall, and soon, Bendy shot from the ink, arms outstretched, he rammed right into Zot, the two somersaulting and rolling onto the ground until he hit a table. The table fell over, stopping Zip from running around the building, and slamming into the table. Bendy quickly got up, Oswald held the door open and shouted at the three.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” He shouts. And, Oswald, Y/n, Bendy, and Panchito ran out of the establishment, back out into the moist air, Y/n’s shoes slapping the wet pavement. 

“There!” Y/n pointed at the van leaving the abandon parking lot, another figure that wasn’t the man in the trench coat, it was a woman with black hair, pale skin, she laughed and got into the driver's seat of the car, in her hand was the book, she tossed it in the van, and hopped in the car and with no need to even heeding the traffic laws she drove out of the parking lot and down the street. 

“Where did the man go with the trenchcoat?” Oswald asked. Panchito rose an eyebrow.

“Was that him---or her?”

“I don’t think so, that doesn't matter, but we need to get to the car, come on!” 

-

Y/n drove down the street quickly, but not enough to get pulled over, and that was where the problem was. 

“You need to drive faster! We’ll lose the book if we stay at this speed!” Bendy shouts, moving Y/n over so he could stick a foot down to touch the pedal, but Y/n pushed him away quickly, glaring at him.

“No! If I get pulled over, that’ll put my name in jeopardy!”

“No, it won’t! Pick up the speed, or let me drive!” 

“Fine! Drive then!” 

Quickly, Y/n and Bendy, switched seats, as the car was in motion, crawling over each other frantically, but once Bendy was in the driver's seat, he slammed the pedal to the floor, the engine roaring, and Y/n immediately felt her back get glued to the seat.  The car moved through lanes and cars, to get to the can that was a few meters away.

“Someone is going to have to jump out to get the book.” Panchito said. Oswald and Y/n looked  at Panchito, he looked between the two before smiling. “I’ll happily do it!” 

“I’ll go with.” Oswald said, Oswald then looked at Y/n, she scoffed. 

“No. I’ll stay in the car and make sure he doesn't crash into anything.”  Y/n said. Bendy was too busy nearing the van to listen, but once he reached the van, he rolled down the window and honked the horn causing the van to roll its windows down, revealing the woman that that saw, though they all couldn’t get a good glimpse of her, but the man in the trenchcoat saw the four, his eyes squinted.

“Hey, You should try and get better guards!” Bendy yelled to them. Panchito rolled down the window, and immediately crawled onto the roof of the car. Oswald followed suit. 

“You’re too late, turn back before we kill you all!” The man shouts over, not noticing Panchito and Oswald, until when they hopped over and the heavy thump on the car caught their attention.

“You gotta be kiddin’ me.” The woman whispers. Y/n watched As Oswald slid down the front of the vans car, sticking his tongue out to get their attention. Which it did for the lad, she cursed loudly and tried to swerve the car slightly to get the toon off. But, Oswald didn’t budge. Panchito dove into the car landing in front of the woman, she shrieked in surprise.

“Ah! Hello, ma’am. Excuse me, i am here for something.” Panchito then moved his gaze over to the man in the trench coat, hurling a punch to the man, the man grunted in pain, and Panchito quickly took the book, he was about to exit until the woman took ahold of his talon, Panchito looked at her questionable, she dragged him back and Panchito yelped in surprise, but he kept ahold of the book. Before she could do anything to Panchito, Oswald hung from outside of the window peeking into the car.

“Boo!”

“Ah!” The woman screamed at the sudden toon appearing, Oswald grabbed Panchito’s arm, and dragged him out of the car, and grabbed him onto the hood of the car.  Oswald bent down and clicked the latch for the hood of the van's hood, and almost immediately when the hood opened, it sent the two springing into the air. Unfortunately the can had crashed by a stop sign. And the car Bendy and Y/n sped up, Y/n quickly pressed a button to open the moonroof of the car, it slid open, and Oswald and Panchito landed into the car with a heavy thud with the book in hand.

“YES!” Y/n cheered as she hopped around in her seat. But, the sudden car crash behind them got the best of them, a car pile up was created, and a semi truck was rolling in from behind. Oswald noticed and quickly hopped to the front of the car, he placed his hands on the steering wheel, and jerked the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve and turn in 180 degrees, the tires screeching on the street, everyone in the car screamed, looking out the window of the car to see the semi truck rolling their way, but Oswald muttered under his breath, the car speed up, wheels screeching and it drove towards the truck, Y/n grabbed the wheel as well.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”  She shouts, Oswald didn’t reply, instead, reaching a foot down next to Bendy’s and the car sped up, he turned the wheel yet again, the car screeching and turning down a street, and car knocked over a empty car that was parked on the side, that car served bump for the oncoming semi truck, what semi truck only slightly lifted off the ground when it rolled over the car and above the car the toons and Y/n were in, it were as if she were looking at it in slow motion, the semi truck tossed over the car, untouched, and landline on the side, away from other people and cars, where it wouldn’t cause damage to the town or people. The car zoomed off down the street before the end of the semi truck could hit the car, and in the nick of time, the car revved down the street. 

“YES!” Oswald cheered, he lets go of the steering wheel, and then lets out a boisterous laugh. 

“My luck! Ah! It put us in good hands this time!” He shouts with glee. The car slowed down, reaching a neighborhood, Y/n’s neighborhood. Her house a few blocks away. When the car came to a complete stop, everyone took  a moment of silence to take in the air they would get to breathe, breathing in and out.

“Oh...my...gosh.” Y/n laughed and ran her sore hands through her hand, that was….fun. Exhilarating.

“We doggone, surely do make a team, huh?” Oswald smiled at the three, Bendy turned and looked at everyone. 

“I didn’t expect the two of you to plunge yourselves into the air by the hood of a car!” He laughs, Panchito and Oswald smile. 

“Did you see the way Panchito handled those beagle boys?! And how Y/n fought Magica?!” Oswald wrapped an arm around Y/n’s shoulders, Y/n smiled brightly. 

“No, did you see Bendy come through the wall and stopped that fast running shadow thing?!”

“Or when we all, literally swung from one roof to another with Panchito’s lasso?!”

The four all shared a memorable laugh, the night was chaotic, and they still managed to kick butt and take back what was theirs?!

“Next up, Oregon.” Bendy said. He then looked at Y/n. 

“Don’t worry, I influenced her...under pressure, yes. But hey, I did what I had to do.” 

Y/n was astonished..her mother would let her go? This was new!

“This is a new beginning, wherever any of us go, we all go.” Oswald said, looking between everyone. Y/n took the book from Panchito, she opened it, and showed it to Oswald. 

“We’re all a team, and we stick together.” 

Oswald smiled at her.

“Through--” He placed a hand on the page, the ink printing his hand print and then signing his signature.

‘Oswald’

“And through.” He finishes. 

“Let’s get you home, we all have a big day tomorrow, a long one at that.” 

-

The man in the trench coat stood by the crashed car, the jammed hood pouring with steam, the lady next to him had her arms crossed as she looked at the car. 

“What now..? They have the book.” She says. The man thought for a moment.

“We’ll work harder...they aren’t a bunch of idiots as I assumed. We work harder.” He said. The woman hummed in acknowledgment. 

“And smarter?”

“Get the rest. We plan.”

“Fine.”

-

Y/n groaned as she sat on the floor in her room, cleaned herself off, through her clothes in the washer, and placed the book in a book bag for safe keepings. Oswald wandered around her room, looking at the various posters, books and other decorations, Panchito sat next to Y/n for once enjoying the silence and Bendy was rubbing his eye that he was so gracefully socked in.

“That guy did a number on you.” Y/n told Bendy. Bendy grumbled. Oswald looked over at Bendy and his ears perked up.

“Yeaj, they really did, straight through a wall, tell me. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain did you feel.”

“Oh shut up.” 

Y/n heard the keys jingling of the front door,  immediately, Y/n and Panchito stood up, Bendy opened the window up, as Oswald, and Panchito walked over. 

“Well, I’ll take them with me, you get sleep, I’ll more than likely be here with Henry tomorrow to come and get you, so we all can leave.” Bendy explains. Y/n nods at the plan, but she was exhausted and needed rest from todays events, mostly what happened tonight...she was so glad no one was injured during the small pile up car crash. 

“Bye, Y/n.”

“Goodbye”

Oswald and Bendy crawled out the window and hopped out, Panchito quickly scurried over to her, pulling her deep into a warm hug. Y/n couldn’t help but smile, and wrap her arms around him as well, rocking back and forth for a moment as Panchito pats and gently runs her back. Soon, then pulled away and Panchito smiled at her.

“Adiós, cariño, te veré cuando salga el sol.” He said, though Y/n could only understand when he said goodbye, she smiled and waved her hands goodbye.

“Bye, Panchito, I’ll see you tomorrow, I had fun with you all.” She said, Panchito smiles and walked backwards for a moment, he seemed to not want to leave yet, he made many friends...Donald and his friend Jose, and he missed them every day as the years pass, Panchito never like being away from his friends, and now Y/n was apart of that. Sitting in the window he waved goodbye once again. Y/n laughed softly and waved goodbye yet again.

Soon, he dropped down from the window, leaving nothing but the tree to look at and the moon that was clouded slightly by the clouds. Soon, her door opens revealing her mother, and her tired husband walking down the hall to his room to sleep.

“By the way, Bendy wants to take you on a road trip tomorrow, and you should go, you don’t have to, but I really want you to go, because I love you and I want you to go out more.” Her mother smiles after that quick statement, and Y/n already had her answer.

“Yes, I would love to go.” Her mother was surprised. But nevertheless, smiled.

“Good, make sure you bags are packed tomorrow, you’re going to Oregon, Bendy should be here tomorrow, but it's late, I’m tired. I’m hittin’ the hay, Night!” Her mother closed the door and Y/n heard her footsteps descend off to her room. Well...adventure truly awaits tomorrow, a new beginning. A reason, a step further in their quest to find out the meaning of whatever is going on. Y/n flicked her light off, and crawled into bed.

Next up, Duckberg, Oregon, to find Donald Duck himself.  This will be an adventure indeed. 

-

A/n : You made it to the end?! Don’t worry, there is more to come! 

But, I do really hope people will like the plot of this story and the characters, I’m not a fan of crossovers, but this will be a fun and crazy adventure, everyone from each of these fandoms will have alot in common. But anyway! I’ll catch you all in the next chapter, go ahead and comment, I run off of comments, I love reading them and interacting with you all, but I hope you all join and stick around for this adventure, catch you in the next chapter! 

[numba99]

Tis The Damn Season

Summary: You return to home around the holidays, bringing up some unresolved feelings between you and your best friend Nolan. This was highly inspired by the song Tis the damn season but Taylor Swift. I highly recommend listening to it (its amazing) and it really sets the ~vibe~. Word count: 5.3k

a/n: this is my longest one shot ever I think omg. but I love it so much I think this is my favorite fic I have ever written. let me know what you think and please Enjoy!

Warnings: smut

You walked down the street of your hometown, accompanied only by your breath going up in smoke. You were surprised that you were barely even registering the cold. You had assumed when you left Winnipeg for LA, your body would completely lose all its defenses to these frigid temperatures. However, as you were beginning to learn, the Canadian cold was the kind that seeped into your body and made a home out of you. It never truly left.

You almost forgot how silent Canadian nights were, the blankets of snow soaking up nearly every sound. If it wasn’t for the crunch of snow under your boots, you imagined it would be silent enough to hear your heart thumping in your chest. Especially now, as your heart began to realize where your feet were taking you. Nolan’s house.

You’ve been back at your parents’ house for a few days now as you got ready for the holidays. You hadn’t so much as seen Nolan once since you returned. In normal circumstances that would be absolutely unheard of, but considering you haven’t heard from Nolan in months, circumstances were certainly not normal.

Ever since you returned home, you’d been going on these nightly walks, as if trying to retrace your steps to that night where it all went so wrong. It felt like years ago thinking back to it now. It had been an oddly mild March night - nothing like the weather now - and you were home for spring break. It was your last semester at school and you had made probably what was the biggest decision of your life up until that moment. Instead of moving back home from your school in California after graduation, you were going to stay there. It was bittersweet, you loved your hometown and all the family and friends that inhabited it, but you also felt like you were meant for something more. Something bigger.

You were sitting with Nolan on your porch, enjoying your last night before you would return to school when you told him.

“What do you mean you’re moving there? Like permanently?” Nolan had asked, brows stitched together in confusion. His response had taken you aback; you expected him to be surprised but he seemed genuinely upset.

“I mean I can’t predict where I’ll end up forever, but it would definitely be permanent for the foreseeable future,” you had explained.

“I’m never going to see you,” Nolan had replied, his voice barely above a whisper. There was genuine hurt in his voice that was creating an ache in you that you couldn’t quite place.

“Nols, we barely see each other now. Remember that team you play for? In Philly? That not exactly close to home,” you had tried to sound light, but the joke fizzled and died in the tension between the two of you.

“You shouldn’t do it y/n,” Nolan replied, shocking you with his lack of support. You were rarely ever angry at Nolan, but this sparked annoyance in you. He was your best friend, why wasn’t he happy for you?

“It’s not up to you,” you replied, more defensive than you intended. You couldn’t help it, everyone you told had been questioning you and you had built up frustration. You’d thought about this for a while, and it felt right, you didn’t understand why everyone was acting like you were making some crazy impulsive decision. No one questioned Nolan when he went after his dream of playing in the NHL, so why was this suddenly so crazy to all your friends and family?

“And what are you gonna do there? What friends do you have?” he had fired back.

The anger in his voice made the words sting more than they should have. “I have a job lined up after graduation. And I have plenty of friends, thank you very much.” Anger was bubbling up in you - you were notorious for letting yourself get to a boiling point and just explode at someone. Nolan was getting dangerously close to being the unlucky victim.

“Right, your LA friends how could I forget,” Nolan muttered, rolling his eyes. Nolan had visited you once while you were in college. Let’s just say he didn’t exactly get along with your friends there. He hasn’t visited since. Partially because of his busy schedule, and partially because you knew he thought they were… not his type of people (to put it nicely).

“Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean they’re bad people,” you snapped. What did he know? “And why are so pissed about this? I didn’t throw a fit when you moved to Philly.”

“That’s completely different.”

“How?”

Nolan stared at his hands, and you knew him long enough to know that what he did when he was something weighing heavy on his mind. He opened his mouth a few times before finally speaking, “I don’t want you to be that far from me.”

You were taken aback again but in a completely different manner. “What do you-”

Before you could even process what was happening, his hand cupped your face and his lips found yours. That was the closest you had ever been to a heart attack. Nolan was your first and best friend. Your parents had met in college, their friendship being the predecessor to yours. You were born pretty close together, so you’ve literally known him your entire life. There was no one you were closer with, no one who knew you better. You’re not exactly sure when your feelings grew beyond friendship. You supposed the seeds had been planted early, blooming over time into something you couldn’t control even if you tried.

Having a crush on your best friend is about as fun as it sounds, especially when you don’t think they feel the same. That’s why it shocked you so much to feel him kiss you. It was something you’d wanted for years, though you had never thought it would ever be a reality. You were speechless.

Nolan must have sensed your shock when he pulled away. He mumbled something that sounded like a goodbye and left in a hurry. You should have said something. You should have gone after him. But you didn’t, you sat there, weighed down by surprise of a dream coming true in a nightmarish way.

And then silence.

Nolan didn’t come to see you off the next day. He’d never missed you leaving for college, even when it was just returning after a break like this. The two of you rarely went more than a day without speaking and now there was nothing. With every day that passed that you didn’t hear from him, the ache that started that night you told him you were moving grew. Now that it had been months since you last spoke to him, it practically consumed you.

You knew how ridiculous it looked. He was your best friend, you should have been able to reach out to him. But that kiss had left you in a vacuum. Nothing made sense after it. Besides, he kissed you, shouldn’t he be the one to break the ice? Maybe that was a silly way to think of it, but with the more time that passed without speaking, the harder it felt to reach out. Now that it had been months, it seemed like an impossible bridge to gap.

Every night since you returned, you had walked the block that your homes share. Deep down, you knew your feet were on a mission to get you to his place, but it wasn’t until today that you were able to get close. You had always pulled yourself away before you could really get a good look at it. Today, however, you were finally standing in front of it, basking in the familiar, warm glow.

Your heart began to pound, realizing at any moment someone from his family could look out and see you standing there. You were about to turn around and hightail it home when the front door opening caused you to freeze. Your breath caught in your throat. It was Nolan.

His head was down, a grey beanie pulled down low over his forehead. He almost didn’t notice you; his eye only catching you when he reached his car. He stopped in his tracks, looking at you as if trying to decide if you were real.

“Y/n? Is that you?” he asked, his voice somewhere between confusion and conservative joy.

“Yeah, uh- hey,” was the only thing you could get out. You suddenly became aware of just how cold it was.

“Hey,” he replied, his voice seeming to be just on the crest of a quiver, “Where you… what are you doing out here?” It was clear he didn’t know what to make of you standing outside his house, and you didn’t blame him. You probably would be equally as shocked if the tables were turned.

You searched your brain for something to say. Nolan was someone you could talk about anything with, so it was killing you now to feel like you couldn’t find the right words to say to him. “I was just going for a walk I guess,” you answered finally. It was partially true.

“Clearing your head?” he guessed.

You nodded, allowing the smallest of smiles. He still could read you after all this time. “Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what I was doing.”

“Me too,” Nolan replied, motioning to his car. There was a quick silence before he asked, “Do you wanna join me?”

You could feel your blood coursing through you, spreading sweet warmth spiked with nerves. You missed him so much, and even though you didn’t know if it was smart to spend time with him when you didn’t even know what you wanted to say to him, you could not resist getting into his truck. You desperately needed something familiar.

You nodded and Nolan gave you one of his infamous half-smiles, punctuated by the click of his truck doors unlocking. You silently slipped into the passenger seat, something you’ve done a million times before, breathing in the scent you knew would be there. Mint and clean leather. Somethings never change.

It was weird going through the motions as nothing had ever changed. You could almost pretend that things hadn’t. However, the thick silence that settled between the two of you prevented you from reveling in that dream. It was so foreign to sit next to Nolan and feel uncomfortable. You never felt awkward around him - well there was that one time when he walked in on you in your bra but that was short-lived. He went out and bought a bra just so you could walk in on him in one so the two of you were even. It was ridiculous but it made you laugh and forget about your embarrassment. That was one of your favorite things about Nolan, he always knew how to make you feel better now. You could use that Nolan.

“Where were you planning on going?” You asked when you couldn’t stand the silence anymore. You tried to sound casual, but you heard the nerves fraying in your own voice.

“Somewhere we both know well,” Nolan replied. Cryptic as always, but you didn’t push. You had a feeling you knew where he was going anyway. The dark road sprawled out before you, illuminated only by his headlights and street lamps that were losing a fighting battle against the darkness of a December night in Canada.

You didn’t expect Nolan to say much as he drove, and you were still at a loss so the silence continued, heavy and suffocating. It felt like the two of you were fighting to breathe in the last bit of oxygen the small space had to offer. That made it all the more of a relief when you recognized the turns Nolan was taking. He was going to a park the two of you spent a ridiculous amount of time in as children. Even as you grew, it continued to be a place the two of you enjoyed, whether it be hiking the trails in the summer or sledding down the giant hill in the winter. It also became the location of many of your heart to hearts when one of you was going through something. A fitting spot for whatever was about to happen.

Nerves fluttered through your stomach as he pulled in. You knew a talk was coming, but you had no idea where the two of you would stand when he drove you out and that terrified you.

Nolan parked by the playground, buried under a thick blanket of snow. It stood like a relic to a lost childhood, a sense of freedom and possibility that was lost under burdens it wasn’t meant to bear.

“I would say we should go to our bench, but I don’t think you’d survive the trek,” Nolan joked lightly. The bench he was referring to was the one you always had your talks at. It was tucked away beyond the playground under a large maple, which you could see peeking out above the climbing walls. Somewhere on that tree “NP + Y/I friends 4 evr” was carved into the trunk. You weren’t sure how many summers ago the two of you did it anymore, but you do know you wished you’d carved a heart instead of just friends. Regardless, it puts a smile on your face every time you see it.

“Me? I didn’t know you were suddenly immune to frostbite,” you replied as playfully as you could manage.

“I’m better off than you. I haven’t been spending the last few months in LA.” You knew it was supposed to be a joke, but it came out with an accusatory edge. Any response you could think of died on your lips. A fight was the last thing you wanted to start right now. Back to silence.

Both of you kept your eyes trained ahead; it was a lot easier than facing each other. That didn’t stop you from stealing glances from your peripheral, trying to get a read on him. Nolan had an infamous poker face, but his energy was palpable. He was buzzing like a fluorescent.

Suddenly you couldn’t take it anymore. “Why?” You broke through the wall of ice between the two of you. “Why did you disappear on me?”

“I’ve been here the whole time. Technically you disappeared on me,” Nolan replied.

“I told you I was going,” you shot back.

“Yeah, the day before. More of a warning would have been nice,” he mumbled.

“Oh, so you could have a few extra days to ignore me?” Your words came out more venomous than you intended. Months of sadness were being compressed into a deep, hurting frustration.

Nolan finally looked at you, hurt etched into the blue of his eyes. A street light shined behind him, giving him an ethereal glow. Even though he was upset with you, he still took your breath away. “Talking is a two-way street you know,” he fired back, “You never picked up the phone either. I thought… I don’t know.”

“What?” you pressed.

“I thought you forgot about me.” His voice was barely audible, his eyes falling away from yours.

You couldn’t help but let out a strained laugh since it was the absolute opposite of the truth. “Nolan I thought about you every single day since I left,” you admitted without thought. You quickly added, “As pathetic and weird as that sounds, it’s the truth.”

“I thought about you every day, too,” he replied, looking at you again. Some of the hurt has dissipated in response to your statement.

“So why didn’t I hear from you?” You were less accusatory and more curious in tone this time. The anger was leaving you, now you were just confused and sad over the time you lost with him.

Nolan, taking off his beanie for a second to run his hand through his hair. “I guess I thought I fucked up,” he replied, pulling the beanie back into place. He added sheepishly, “By kissing you, I mean.”

Your heart ached. “Did you regret it?” you asked, trying not to show how much of a blow it would be to you if he said yes.

“No,” he replied, “I mean I would only regret it if it pushed you away, which I sort of feel like I did. You just looked so shocked and upset after, I thought I crossed a line. Then when I didn’t hear from you, I thought you were mad.” He paused, looking down at his hands, turning words over in his head. “I guess I was kind of embarrassed, too,” he said finally, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long, and then it kinda blew up in my face.”

You couldn’t believe what you heard. He wanted to kiss you? For a long time? You covertly pinched yourself to make sure this wasn’t some cruel dream. “You have?”

Nolan let out an embarrassed laugh. “Yeah, I have. I was just scared if you didn’t feel the same it would completely fuck up our friendship. Which it looks like I succeeded in doing.” he sighed.

You shook your head. “Nolan, you could not be more wrong,” you replied. He cocked a brow at you and you continued, “I’ve had a crush on you since- well- forever. I’ve wanted to kiss you for the longest time. I was just so shocked that it happened I sorta shut down.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” you confirmed. “God I feel like such an idiot.”

“That makes two of us,” Nolan half laughed. You joined him in the short laughter, fueled mostly by shock. A short silence returned as the two of you digested the weight of the revelations you just had.

“So… where do we go from here?” Nolan asked finally.

You let out a long sigh as you tried to collect your thoughts. “I’m not sure,” you replied honestly. “I mean hearing that you feel the same way as I do as you is the best news I’ve gotten in like, well ever,” you paused laughing at yourself, “But these last few months… they’ve been so hard. It’s hard to digest all this.”

“Was it all bad because of me?” Nolan asked, concernedly.

“No, not entirely,” you replied, not wanting him to feel guilty. In truth, he was only part of the equation. You had a ridiculous stubborn streak so it was hard for you to admit that maybe moving to LA wasn’t a great idea. You quickly learned that going to school and living/working somewhere were two totally different things. In school, you knew your friends were available every weekend; there was always something to do and people to be with. Now, everyone was weighed down by jobs and responsibilities that far outweighed term papers. Not to mention the job you thought was perfect was looking more like a dead end every day. Plus, Nolan may have been right about a few of your friends not being so great.

You continued, “It’s just, well it’s hard for me to admit, but LA isn’t exactly what I thought it was going to be. It was definitely hard without you, like so many times I wanted to reach out to you, but I didn’t because I was scared and confused. I feel pretty stupid about that now.”

You half expected Nolan to tell you he told you so, which you wouldn’t even blame him if he did, but he said, “I wish I was there for you. I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault, we were both kinda stupid,” you replied as lightly as you could, “But if these last few months have taught me anything, it’s that I need you in my life. If we were together and something went wrong and I lost you, I don’t even know what I’d do.”

Nolan nodded in agreement, “You’re my best friend, I never want anything to come between that.” You both believed the words you spoke, and yet it felt like things were unfinished. You both weren’t satisfied with going back like nothing had ever happened.

“What if,” you began slowly, “I mean I’m here for a few more days, what if we just gave this - us - a shot during that time. We don’t tell anyone, it’s just for us to explore. If it doesn’t work out we can just go back to being best friends and forget this mess. But if it does… well I guess we will go from there.”

“I think that’s perfect,” Nolan agreed, joy creeping into his voice for the first time since you began talking. You couldn’t help but fling your arms around him in a big hug. It’s been so fucking long since you got to do that; it brought you an indescribable level of joy just to feel his arms around you again.

You both pulled back, smiling at each other, the hurt of the last few months melting away. Nolan brought his hand to your face and pulled you in for a soft kiss. Your head was spinning.

“As much as I wanted to do that the first time,” he said with a smile when he pulled away, “I wanted to do it a million times more now.” You giggled, pulling him back to your lips. You were never going to get tired of this.

“Take me home Nols,” you said breathlessly when you were finally able to peel yourself away. Nolan smiled, quickly shifting his truck into gear. You loved that you didn’t have to specify his home. He knew you, better than anyone.

Silence returned, but of a much different variety. It was now charged, alive with the promise of what was to come. You kept your hand firmly laced with Nolan’s, not wanting to give up touching me for a second. You’ve wanted this for so long, you had lost time to make up for. Years of it.

You’ve never been more glad that the basement of Nolan’s house had been turned into a little apartment for him. You absolutely adored his family, but you didn’t want to be seen by any of them sneaking into his room at this hour. That would be hard to explain.

Nolan helped you out of the truck, lifting you over some large piles of snow. After just a few steps over ice and banks of snow, Nolan decided it was easier to just carry you. You didn’t protest, letting out only a muffle shriek-giggle as he hoisted you on to his back. He navigated the tundra that was his yard with you clinging to him like it was nothing.

The warmth of his little place enveloped you the second he opened the door. Your lips found each other with a newfound excitement as the door closed behind you. You breathed in his familiar scent - mint and cedar - and realized why you had bought so many cedar candles when you moved. You’d been trying to replicate Nolan’s scent subconsciously, but nothing compared to the original. You began pulling off each other’s outerwear, trying to keep as much contact as possible. Within minutes coats and snowflakes were surrounding your feet.

You continued to kiss and peel off clothing as you half walked, half stampeded to his bedroom. You’d been in it plenty of times before when you guys hung out, but it felt so much more intimate this time around. You fell backwards onto his bed, his sheets greeting your back like a soft kiss. Nolan climbed on top of you, a heavy, lusty grin painted on his face. You took in each other, both only in your underwear. Rationally you knew it was no different than seeing each other in a bathing suit, something you’ve experienced countless times, but it still felt worlds apart. You couldn’t help but blush under his gaze.

Nolan’s hand came under your chin, tilting your face so he could look at you in the eyes. “No need to be shy, love,” his voice was smooth as honey, “It’s only me.” He punctuated his words with kisses down your neck. He to plant extra slow, sweet kisses around the edge where your bra met your skin, before removing the garment from your body. “So pretty,” he breathed against your skin. You tangled your fingers through his hair as his kissed and sucked lightly at your delicate skin.

“Nols,” you breathed as you felt his length brush against your clothed core. There were two too many layers of fabric between you. “Please.”

“I got you baby,” he cooed. He shed the final bits of clothing from the two of you and you sucked in a breath. He was bigger than you thought (because yes you had thought about it more than you care to admit), but moreso, you couldn’t believe this was happening. For so long, Nolan had felt like a dream to you, beautiful but always just out of reach. But now he was here in the flesh, touching you and kissing you and fuck you don’t know how you got this damn lucky.

“God you’re perfect,” he sighed, reverent.

“Look who’s talking,” you replied, running your hands down his body, truly feeling him. “You’re like a god or an angel or something.” You were tripping over your words, completely flustered by having him like this. So flustered, that you didn’t even notice his hand trailing up your thighs until two fingers slid into. Your head fell back, a moan melting from your lips.

“Now that’s angelic,” Nolan smiled, returning his lips to your neck. You weren’t sure if it was because you were so into him or if he was a master with his hands(probably both), but he had you worked up in minutes. Your body reacted to his every touch, arching into him to get as close as possible.

“Nolan I’m gonna-” the words died on your lips as a wave of bliss flooded your body. You let out breathless gasps, feeling a pleasure you have never previously experienced.

“Fuck that was hot,” Nolan said almost to himself. The way he looked at you made you feel like you could cum all over again.

“I need you Nols,” you said, greedy for more. He didn’t skip a beat, fishing out a condom from his bedside table before returning to you. Your heart was pounding with nervous excitement and you silently told it that you would never forgive it if it gave out before you got to finish this experience.

Nolan seemed to sense your nerves and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before saying, “We’ll go slow. Just enjoy it.” You nodded kissing him back before positioning him against you. You were so slick from your first orgasm that he slid in easy, though it didn’t make the feeling any less intense. Your back arched and Nolan gripped your hips into place, hissing at the feeling of you around him.

It wasn’t until he was all the way in that you both let out a breath. You felt so full and satisfied you’d be fine if he stopped there. Of course, he had other plans in mind. True to his word, he went slow, drawing out every thrust to let you feel each other. “You feel fucking amazing,” the words tumbled out of his mouth. If you weren’t so blissed out you may have been able to muster a reply.

Slowly, his pace quickened and you knew you weren’t going to last much longer. It was crazy what Nolan did to you, the way he was able to make you feel this good. And he knew it too. Sensing you were close again, his thumb found your clit, rubbing circles over the already sensitive spot. “Come on baby, cum for me,” he purred, licking his lips.

It was all  you needed to succumb to his euphoria. His name left your mouth in a moan as you came for the second time. You barely heard his curses through your fog of bliss, but you couldn’t mistake the feeling of him twitching inside you as he came along with you. This blew everything you ever imagine out of the water by a mile.

“That was…” Nolan’s voice trailed off as he collapsed beside you. He pulled you on to his chest, peppering you with kisses.

“Amazing? Mind blowing? Perfect?” you offered.

“Perfect,” he confirmed, kissing you once more.

*** The next few days passed in a blur of pure perfection. There is nothing more that you needed after your disastrous few months in LA than to be surrounded by the people you love at the holidays. And being with Nolan made it all the more better. Truly, it wasn’t much more different than when you were friends, except there was a lot more kissing and touching under dinner tables.

When you weren’t enjoying these magical moments, your mind was going a mile a minute. You were trying to figure out all your options and navigate all the paths you could possibly take in your mind. No matter how many different possibilities you came up with, they always lead you back to Nolan. After these few days you couldn’t imagine your life without Nolan, and not just as a friend, but as a lover. Not just a lover, the lover, the only one you’d ever need. Or want.

Making that revelation both excited and terrified you. If he didn’t feel the same it would crush you. Those feelings came to a head on your last night, sitting out on your porch with Nolan like those many months ago. You could hear Christmas music and laughter of your families floating out from your house.

“So,” Nolan began.

“So,” you echoed, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

“I’m just gonna cut to the chase,” he began, “I don’t think I’ve ever been  happier than I have been in these past few days. I love you, y/n. I always have and I probably always will even if you don’t feel the same. But I want this. I want us.”

You practically jumped on him, giving him a long kiss and not caring if anyone inside saw. “I love you too, Nolan,” trying to fight back tears. They were happy ones, but they’d probably freeze on your face. Nolan beamed brighter than you’d ever seen him.

“I have a sort of crazy thought though,” you admitted.

“What’s that?”

“I know I want to be in a city and all this time I thought LA was my perfect fit. But it’s certainly not,” you huffed, “But I think I know what would be. Philly.” Nolan looked at you like he was trying to decode if you were joking. You were most certainly not. What if he thought it was crazy? Or too much too soon.

Your insecurities disappeared as quickly as they came as he said, “There is nothing I would love more.” You hugged him tightly, wondering how it was possible for one person to feel so much joy.

“There’s just one more thing we gotta do,” Nolan smirked, “Tell our parents.” His head tilted to the front door.

“No offense, but I think your mom is gonna love this more than the necklace you gave her,” you teased, standing up and dusting some snow off of you.

Nolan chuckled, “You say that as if this hasn’t been on your mom’s list for years.” You giggled because he was absolutely right.

You took his hand as he led you back into your house. The warmth of both your home and all the people in it hit you the second the door opened, embracing you in an overwhelming sense of joy. There was absolutely no feeling in the world like loving Nolan, and you were so glad it was your feeling to keep. Forever.

[shannendoherty-fans]

People, September 9th 1991

High School Confidential

By Tom Gliatto and Michael Alexander.

Photos by Mark Sennett.

Beverly Hills, 90210 Gets Its Heat from a Dangerously Cute Cast of TV's Hottest New Stars CONFIDENTIAL MEMO: FROM: The Vice Principal TO: The Faculty, High School U.S.A. I'm sure I don't need to remind you what happened when we didn't prepare for Bart Simpson last fall. The school was flooded with rude, antieducational T-shirts. Some cows were had. Well, as a new school year gets under way, I believe we face another daunting challenge: Brace yourselves for Beverly Hills, 90210. That's the Fox drama about unworldly twin teens Brandon and Brenda Walsh (played by Jason Priestley and Shannen Doherty), recent transferees from Minneapolis to the Hills of Beverly. There they struggle to assimilate into the fast-lane lifestyle of West Beverly Hills High School, where the kids come equipped with BMWs, call waiting and designer surfboards. In the process, the teens examine their emerging identities and the problems that adolescents everywhere face.

The show languished in the Nielsen ratings against Thursday powerhouse Cheers last year. But Fox had no replacement, so it stayed. While we were on summer vacation, new 90210 episodes began airing, and the show landed in the Top 20, becoming the most popular show among teenagers. To some extent, I take responsibility for having ignored 90210. I made the mistake of reading newspaper critics instead of my daughter's diary, and so I believed, as Howard Rosenberg sniffed in the Los Angeles Times, that the show was merely a "ZIP code for stereotypes and stock characters." Little did I know that this show would mesmerize teens by doing emotionally realistic shows that involved adolescent rebellion, alcoholic; parents, a breast-cancer scare and plenty of worrisome teen sex. "Most shows for adolescents," says 90210 creator Darren Star, "seem like they are written by 50-year-olds who think teenagers behave like 7-year-olds."

It also doesn't hurt that the show's male stars, Priestley and Luke Perry (who plays brooding loner Dylan McKay), are "to die for," as my daughter puts it. These two have each been receiving about 1,500 fan letters a week. So be vigilant: Surely some of these will be written by our students...during class! And I'm afraid that 90210 is only going to get bigger with our kids, if producer Aaron Spelling is to be believed. "I thought The Mod Squad and Charlie's Angels got a lot of publicity in their heyday," says Spelling, whose company produced those shows, "but it doesn't compare to this. It's crazy. We have merchandising coming out of our ears"—a complete line of T-shirts, beach towels, notebooks, etc. "And now these actors can't walk down the street!"

Or even streak through malls. You probably saw those alarming news reports about a frenzied mob of 10,000 fans that stampeded Perry when he appeared at a south Florida mall last month. "It's a little scary," says Perry. Scarier is the amount of time students will waste this fall discussing Luke. And Jason. And who is sexier. I provide some information on the two. Jason Priestley, 22, plays Brandon Walsh, a model of thoughtful level-headedness. In real life, however, the brown-haired, blue-eyed star, who started acting in commercials at age 4 and played an orphan on that very nice NBC sitcom Sister Kate, is no Oliver Twist. He likes dirt bikes, bungee jumping and is a chain-smoker (just about the whole cast puffs it up—but not on-camera). Vancouver-born Priestley likes to hang out in Las Vegas. As for his real romantic life, he was reportedly dating actress Robin (Doogie Howser, M.D.) Lively last spring, but it seems likely that now he is too busy for such dalliance;. He must be on the set 14 hours a day, five days a week. To avoid ever-present fans, Priestley says, "I look different from my character when I'm just walking around. I don't shave, I don't dress like Brandon."

On the show, 26-year-old Luke Perry (Brenda Walsh's boyfriend, Dylan) sports a leather jacket, dagger sideburns and a squint that spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e. Although he grew up and graduated from high school in Fredericktown, Ohio, he seems to have attended James Dean wise-guy classes. Perry, who played country-boy Ned Bates on the ABC soap Loving, entertains the 90210 cast by strutting around bare-chested making jokes. Does he have a girlfriend? "No. You know how I can get in touch with Linda Hamilton?" What kind of music does he listen to? "Tom Jones is awesome." Are he and Priestley ever mistaken for each other? "He's mistaken for me on his good days." And 90210, he says, is "the best show on television, except for Jeopardy!" We should act quickly, faculty, when we see any signs that Beverly Hills, 90210 is disrupting normal student activity.

How abnormal might things get? Consider: "It's almost like there are cults," says Brian Austin Green, 18, the North Hollywood High grad who plays the cutely dweeby David Silver. "Girls go to school the day after the show, and they actually become these characters. They say, 'Okay, today I want to be Dylan, you can be Brenda, you can be Brandon.' " Needless to say, students caught pretending to be TV characters should be brought directly to my office for detention. But you know, it might not be a bad thing if our students could show some of the good sense that the 90210ers display in coping with the pressures of fame and fortune. Jennie Garth, 19, who plays the very sexy, very blond, very snotty Kelly Taylor, is particularly admirable. The youngest of seven children, she grew up on a farm near Champaign, Ill., until her schoolteacher parents moved to Phoenix when she was 13. "Living in a small town and coming from a very tight and close family instilled a lot of standards that I need to live up to," says Garth, who just bought a home in Sherman Oaks. She also recently supplied her parents with the down payment for their new home, setting a splendid example for today's youth.

According to a tabloid that someone left in the faculty lounge, Memphis-raised Shannen Doherty, 20, a veteran of such wonderful shows as Little House: A New Beginning, is the only cast member to be accused of behaving like "a spoiled brat" on the set. But she maintains she is no such thing. "I think everybody gets in a bad mood," Shannen says. "You do not work 16-hour days and not start feeling it. But I have never thrown a tantrum. I've gotten upset on the set, but it's never been just to be a bitch. You have to stand up for yourself in this business. That was something I was told when I was 12 years old and working with Michael Landon."

As with about half the cast members, Doherty is in a relationship—in her case, a real-estate developer with whom she's exchanged commitment rings. "You really have to date a while before you decide if this is the person you want to marry," she says with Brenda-like candor. Almost sounds like the relationship could be a future 90210 plot. "The problems of young people have accelerated," says Aaron Spelling, "and so have their feelings and thoughts." The show, he says, has kept pace: Even with their Clearasil-perfect complexions and plump allowances, the students at Beverly Hills have encountered their share of problems. "We had the guts to make Luke Perry be a member of AA," says Spelling. "We had Jason, our star, drinking and driving. That's reality."

And, apparently, the adulatory fan mail often includes a sad dose of that reality. "I got a letter the other day from a girl who mentioned the show we did on parental drug abuse," says Perry in a rare moment of seriousness. "She wrote about catching her father freebasing in the basement. I get letters like that all the time, from people all over the country." Gabrielle Carteris (at age 30, she's 90210's oldest cast-kid), who plays Andrea Zuckerman, the bright student who comes from the wrong side of Rodeo Drive, remembers an encouraging close encounter in a grocery store. "One girl came up to me after we'd done the breast-cancer show," says Carteris. "She said, 'I went home with all my friends and we checked our breasts for lumps.' "

In conclusion: Maybe I didn't need to write this memo. Maybe things won't be that bad, even if every locker in every corridor has a picture of Jason, Luke, Shannen or Jennie in it. Perhaps our dear little school is more like West Beverly Hills High—at least the TV version—than I thought. That's what Ian Ziering, 27, thinks too. "The reality on the show pretty much mirrors the way life is all over, in terms of teenagers," says New Jersey—bred Ziering, who once did Fruit of the Loom underwear ads and now plays 90210's curly-headed jock, Steve Sanders. "There's a mystique about Beverly Hills. But that's not what keeps people tuning in. The show could have been Montana E-I-E-I-O." By the way, should any student pronounce his name "eee-an," correct him or her, please. It's "eye-an."

-- WHEN BEVERLY HILLS, 90210 PREMIERED last October, Highlights, the student newspaper at Beverly Hills High, ran articles mocking the school's TV counterpart, West Beverly Hills High. "They said that the show was a joke," says Jenny Brandt, 14, a sophomore at the 1,900-student school. But as the story lines improved and Jason Priestley and Luke Perry became stars, the jokes stopped, and Brandt found herself, like many of her pals, glued to the set on Thursday nights from 9 to 10 P.M. "No phone calls allowed," says Brandt. "Except during commercials." Hope Levy, a 17-year-old senior, has taken fandom a step further with her friends. "We have little handmade cards," she says, speaking from her mom's car phone. "They say you're a member of Club 90210." While some kids think the show treats them as snobby stereotypes, most agree with sophomore Jordan Rynes when he says, "It's like a soap opera for teens. The shows dealing with drinking and drugs are the most real—adults don't realize how accurate it is."

[ripleyfm]

              ･ﾟ☀   good   morning   to   everyone   except   those   who   hate   on   legend   of   korra   !   skskskks   i’m   teddy   ,   i’m   a   lil   ole   baby   swinging   back   into   the   rpc   heart   emojis   a   -   blazing   !   this   is   my   lil   sunflower   chaos   seeker   known   as   ripley   ,   a   newer   muse   for   me   but   i’m   really   excited   to   flesh   her   out   here   with   some   extra   spooky   elements   .   i   have   a   god   awful   sense   of   humor   and   too   much   enthusiasm   for   angst   so   tbh   ?   come   get   y’all   PLOTTIN   JUICE   to   distract   me   from   thirsting   over   avatar   kyoshi   !  disc / ord is @𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫 !#6439 since i’ll be mobile for the afternoon !

* [ bruna marquezine + cis female + she / her ] —— have you met tallulah ripley ? they are a twenty-two year old senior currently studying biology & music theory. they live on decker house, and word around campus is that this leo is vibrant + gregarious, as well as hedonistic + philophobic. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. trailing sand in on the hardwood with bare feet , running late to meetings ( and asking forgiveness with a mere flash of a grin ) , tucking a greta van fleet album among the family collection of concierto classics .

EDIT : wanted and current connections can be found here ! 

youngest   of   four   ,   born   into   an   old   money   surname   ,   her   mother ,  an  international   student  from  sao  paolo  ,  brazil  ,  and  american   father   meet   as   competing   pianists   at   holloway   ,   falling   in   love   ,   marrying   ,   and   beginning   the   next   generation   of   the   ripley   virtuosos   soon   after   graduation   .   her   childhood   is   privileged   and   uneventful   ,   strict   and   stifling   as   early   as   she   can   remember   ,   tallulah   causing   trouble   enough   as   if   to   make   up   for   her   perfectly   behaved   siblings   .

her   father   becomes   one   of   the   most   prolific   modern   composers   of   his   time   ,   and   splits   his   efforts   between   composition   and   teaching   music   theory   at   julliard   as   his   wife   continues   performances   as   a   famed   pianist   .   though   her   siblings   branch   out   into   other   instruments   ,   tallulah   is   the   only   one   stubborn   enough   to   weather   the   callouses   on   her   fingers   ,   figuring   if   she’s   going   to   be   forced   to   play   an   instrument   of   any   type   ,   it’ll   at   least   be   something   she   likes   .   thus   ,   the   only   stringed   instrument   in   the   ripley   household   becomes   hers   as   she   takes   on   the   cello   by   storm   .

practicing   cello   is   perhaps   the   only   thing   lu   truly   commits   herself   to   —   charming   and   sociable   as   she   may   be   ,   her   selectiveness   with   her   efforts   makes   her   sluggish   with   schoolwork   as   if   to   give   her   family   a   hard   time   .   her   siblings   ,   all   honor   scholars   and   first   chairs   at   their   respective   instruments   ,   pick   on   her   for   her   unmotivated   wild   child   ways   at   the   encouragement   of   her   mother   .   the   only   person   who   takes   the   time   to   sit   with   tallulah   and   keep   her   on   track   is   her   ever   -   tired   (   but   endlessly   generous   )   father   .

her   world   is   turned   upside   down   her   freshman   year   when   her   father’s   occasional   stumble   turns   into   a   more   regular   struggle   to   keep   his   balance   ,   an   ultimate   diagnosis   of   a   degenerative   disease   rattling   their   family   as   they   know   it   .   tallulah   ,   wild   and   only   tamed   by   the   kindness   of   one   man   ,   starts   acting   out   in   an   effort   to   ignore   the   world   around   her   .   the   rift   between   herself   and   her   family   only   multiplies   when   she   discovers   her   mother   having   an   affair   as   her   father’s   health   continues   to   decline   .

he   passes   away   on   a   vacation   he   and   tallulah   take   to   the   ripley   summer   beach   house   ,   something   they   had   done   to   have   some   quiet   time   together   away   from   the   judgement   of   her   siblings   .   having   to   be   the   one   to   break   the   news   to   the   family   ,   she   feels   herself   shut   down   and   lose   whatever   desire   she   had   left   to   live   the   perfect   life   her   mother   and   siblings   tried   to   force   on   her   .

she   starts   going   almost   exclusively   by   her   surname   ,   making   it   into   holloway   more   as   a   favor   to   her   family’s   generous   donations   to   the   music   program   than   on   grades   .   she’s   barely   hanging   on   by   her   involvement   in   the   university’s   symphonic   orchestra   ,   where   she’s   a   first   chair   cellist   that   shows   up   late   to   every   damn   rehearsal   and   somehow   can   cold   sightread   well   enough   to   piss   everyone   off   ksksksk   .

given   this   ,   she’s   only   minoring   in   music   theory   to   stay   in   the   orchestra   ,   and   partially   to   feel   close   to   her   dad   .   though   her   dream   is   to   write   music   scores   for   films   ,   she’s   majoring   in   biology   to   have   a   respectable   backup   plan   .   if   she   can’t   do   music   forever   ,   she’ll   disappear   onto   a   beach   somewhere   in   costa   rica   and   be   a   marine   biologist   and   never   be   heard   from   again   lmao

PERSONALITY   :   ripley   is   happiest   shotgunning   a   white   claw   before   piling   into   the   squad   car   and   calling   aux   immediately   !   loves   her   friends   and   sees   her   circle   as   found   family   that   she   would   do   anything   for   .   

she’s   laid   back   and   observant   ,   one   of   the   quieter   in   the   group   as   she   tries   to   suss   you   out   but   is   the   first   to   approach   a   newbie   and   act   as   if   you’ve   been   friends   for   ages   .   she   makes   an   active   effort   to   not   judge   others   on   the   basis   of   first   impressions   and   tends   to   be   rather   open   minded   when   meeting   others   ,   which   makes   her   a   sort   of   universal   friend   -   to   -   all   ;   given   this   ,  when  wronged  ,  she’s   a   stubborn   little   shit   and   though   she   wont   let   them   live   rent   free   in   that   headspace   ,   she’ll   go   full   send   to   making   sure   they’re   aware   they   don’t   exist   to   her   !  

she   hates   petty   drama   and   tends   to   skirt   most   responsibility   by   sweet   -   talking   her   way   out   of   things   ,   giving   the   impression   that   she   can   be   lazy   or   unmotivated   .   this   is   true   to   some   extent   ,   such   as   with   her   grades   or   her   timeliness   ,   but   those   who   strike   the   right   balance   will   see   a   side   of   ripley   that   is   laser   focused   ,   whether   its   drunken   ramblings   about   the   brilliance   of   the   chord   progressions   on   fleetwood   mac’s   rumors   or   an   astute   observation   about   the   emotion   behind   a   certain   cello   movement   .   though   she   prefers   to   skip   the   hard   thinking   and   just   enjoy   the   moment   ,   ripley’s   admittedly   a   clever   girl   ,   simply   needing   the   right   push   to   unlock   her   truest   potential   .  

she’s   incredibly   relaxed   (   sometimes   a   bit   too   much   for   the   preference   of   some   )   and   tends   to   try   and   avoid   over   -   complicating   issues   in   order   to   not   have   to   face   them   .   especially   considering   the   infidelity   of   her   mother   ,   ripley   is   a   staunch   believer   that   relationships   are   a   waste   of   time   and   is   the   annoying   bitch   who   argues   that   being   in   love   is   a   scam   made   up   by   the   simps   to   feel   valid   !  

acts   as   if   she   isn’t   FULL   of   feelings   and   emotions   24/7   n   listens   to   emo   70’s   power   ballads   when   the   person   she   likes   doesnt   confess   their   love   for   her   under   the   moonlight   like   they   were   supposed   to   in   her   fantasy   …….   smh   .   she’s   too   busy   trying   to   be   ~cool   and   effortless~   that   she   sometimes   sabotages   the   things   that   would   bring   her   the   most   happiness   ,   then   blaming   herself   in   a   vicious   cycle   that   just   leaves   her   trying   to   distract   herself   w   crazy   antics   to   avoid   focusing   on   her   feelings   .

RANDOM BLURBS :    hates   men   n   regrets   all   attraction   to   them   .   thinks   all   women   r   too   good   for   her   .   convinced   she   will   be   a   useless   bisexual   forced   2   be   forever   alone

plays   guitar   as   a   mental   break   from   cello   and   loves   it   .   i’m   still   deciding   a   vc   for   her 

knows   the   beaches   in   maine   are   cold   af   but   wants   to   go   every   weekend   anyways

drives   the   most   impractical   soft   shell   jeep   which   sucks   in   the   east   coast   wind   and   snow   and   yet   it   is   somehow   exactly   an   embodiment   of   Her   Brand tm

like   5′9   tall   and   hates   wearing   real   people   shoes   she   said   berks   or   nOTHIN

wishes   she   could   go   vegan   but   is   so   bad   at   keeping   track   of   her   meals   she’d   forget   instantly   and   down   a   20   pack   of   chicken   nugget

too   mellow   &   apathetic   to   be   a   chaotic   neutral   but   too   adventurous   to   be   a   true   neutral   so   she   lives   somewhere   in   that   lawless   grey   space   skskskks

acts   REAL   california   for   someone   who   grew   up   exclusively   on   the   east   coast   ....   hm   .....   🤔

grew  up  disconnected  from  brazilian  culture  due  to  her  mom's  whitewashing  and  she  resents  it  greatly  .  can  understand  scattered  portuguese  but  took  spanish  in  high  school  so  that's  as  close  to  the  language  as  she'll  get  .  wants  to  take  lessons  online  tho  !

inspos r lila from umbrella academy , wynonna earp , beverly marsh from it , michelle manlon from derry girls , korra from lok , adora from she ra and the pop ,  and that ugly yellow overtone used in outer banks  💖 skskskks 

[chanyeolyh]

aight i’m gonna have to request that none of you look really hard at this account because it is -75% finished and it’s ugly and that’s just not my aesthetic, i swear. i’m stella and i am always late for everything and if you cannot accept that as who i am then... honestly i understand i'm tired of my shit, too. i'm bring this charismatic asshole, chanyeol, to everyone. he's difficult and it's okay if you want to fight him, i understand. message me or like this if you want to plot and i'll come knocking at your inbox door!

* — ⌜ kang1, yoon jeonghan ⌟  ↝  has anyone else seen the kang heir walking around the hill lately ? their name is CHANYEOL and they are the kang’s oldest child. they’re twenty-four and currently a graduate student and paralegal, making their parents proud, i would hope. i heard they can be very playful but lately they’ve been quite manipulative. don’t tell anyone, but someone told me he’s just like his mother. i wonder if that’s true ?

trigger warning: mention of death

∽ to be quite honest chanyeol is the time to taunt you while your parents aren’t looking and get you in trouble while smirking and sticking his tongue out behind your parents back. he’s that bad kid that parents love and compare their children to. doesn’t really really have a reason for being two-faced. blame it on his mother, after all he learnt from the most two-faced person of all. ∽ grew up with a great father (who was kinda absent in his life??? usually busy??? but chanyeol loved his dad and understood) and a not so great mother who crushed him under her expectations. kinda feel like he had it worse growing up, because at first he was the shining star and then after his younger sibling was born, he was deemed a disappointment and the other sibling was promoted for shining star. chanyeol understands. he was better and naturally talented. chanyeol was the type who had to work hard to be acknowledged. thought he’d love no longer being under his mother’s thumb, but turns out he’s a normal kid and still craved his momma’s love and attention. ∽ surprisingly, and probably to his mother’s disappointment, he’s never hated or envied any of his siblings??? even if he was no longer the favorite and his mother had pretty much written him off as “no longer the best”, he freakin’ loves his little buddies and honestly views them as the best things that happened to him??? give him big brother of the year award, will 100% kill for his siblings. ∽ do not get him wrong, he knows just how twisted he can be and is… he hates being compared to his mother, but he’s more like her than he’d ever care to admit, and he blamed her for trying to mold him into a mini her. literally was told that no one in the world mattered except himself, and people were obstacles he had to climb over and use. ∽ does his best to make sure his siblings do not end up like himself or his mother because his own dynamic is toxic and bad and being a manipulative son of a bitch is the last thing he’d want them to be. a little hypocritical because he will adamantly insist they not do something and then turn around and do it himself, but he’s already tainted so he doesn’t see it as a big deal. ∽ siblings can do no wrong in his eyes??? don’t talk bad about him or he’ll make your life hell. king of spreading rumors, but usually has a good reason as to why he’s spreading them… for furthering his own goals or revenge. yep. good fantastic reasons. ∽ the death of his father kinda made him worse??? his father was always telling him not to do this, to consider other people, etc. but he doesn’t have that influence any more and his mom??? she plays so dirty??? silently at war with her, but damn do they look like a perfect mother - son out in the public eye. his mother was probably indifferent toward him at first, however since he’s been snooping around she’s also trying to bring him down. unfortunately for her, he’s a better snake than she is. ∽ the local polite thinks he’s a bad son, however, because he straight up accused her of doing something fishy but all they saw was a heartbroken woman sobbing loudly about losing her husband. they were old and quick to jump to a damsel’s defense, so the case is closed but he’ll pry it back open with his teeth if that’s what it takes. ∽ was going to pursue a career in music (in fact graduate with a degree in music), however now he’s interested in law. doesn’t plan to be a prosecutor, however being a paralegal has its perks and he’s learnt a lot. working to become a private investigator because as long as he doesn’t get caught, he can be as dirty as he wants. ∽ has his own place, but depending on where his siblings are located (if they also live alone/with him/with their mother), he often stays at the family home to be closer to his siblings. might be a dad bit paranoid something might happen to them. but behind closed doors, his mother has begun to threaten him and the easiest way to attack would be his beloved siblings. doesn’t have a fear that their lives are in danger, but wouldn’t put it past her to try and turn them against him??? ∽ actually really likes investigating things and the prosecutor he’s a paralegal for really let’s him be hands on so he’s learnt what he can’t do, what he can do and what he can’t do but can so long as he doesn’t get caught. ∽ honestly, chanyeol is a snarky and sarcastic guy, but it’s not hard for him to make friends either??? somehow charming and affable, but it’s really hard to know whether or not to take him seriously??? also have to be mad careful what you say around him, he's very interested in drama and he will spread things around if it benefits him or he simply does not like you. :) ∽ naturally flirtatious but 95% of the time he’s just trying to have fun and doesn’t really mean anything. noncommittal af. has had maybe one or two serious relationships and in those he either broke someone’s heart or someone broke his. and yet his bedroom is a revolving door so. honestly hooks up with people as a stress reliever but at least he’s up front about it, if you catch feelings it’s not on him; he’s surprisingly against leading someone he’s sleeping with on. unfortunately, he is not against leading someone he's not sleeping with on. ∽ surprisingly playful??? likes laughing at others??? really likes riling others up, if you give him a good reaction you’re just gonna be a target for him. usually not malicious, it’s just entertaining for him. ∽ veryveryvery private. he’ll ask a hundred questions about your personal life, but his lips are sealed in regards his. cryptic af and also very flippant??? his mind can change on a dime??? ∽ confrontational??? kinda??? but more as a source of entertainment… he’s got issues. ∽ very fake. very much a chameleon in that he changes colors to fit any situation. a pathological liar, kinda??? lies a lot. ∽ kinda just a bad guy. but it’s because he has hard time opening up to others and being vulnerable??? his mom really messed him up so he’s a less put together version of her. less lethal as well, as in he’s actually capable of loving and caring about others. 

give me enemies. people who can't stand him and people he can't stand. did he start a rumor about your muse? can't stand his fake persona? someone who got in trouble as a kid or teenager? couldn't stand your parents constantly compared you to saint chanyeol? maybe he's jealous of your muse for some reason? called him out on his mommy issues and struck a nerve so now he's trying to get back at you?

give me an ex best friend who everyone was like, "if you see one, the other isn't too far behind" and then one year they were at each others throats??? why??? what happened??? no one knows, but everyone knows it had to be big.

there's a rumor going around that you're dating. ironic because the two don't even get along??? but he loves getting under your skin so he's feeding the flames and subtly suggesting that the rumor isn't baseless.

need a convincing fake boyfriend??? chanyeol volunteers for tribute, but you owe him one. :)

a best friend or two??? "chanyeol your a son of a bitch, but that's okay", you can see past the grime and know he has a heart of... well, not gold, but it's shiny! that bestie who goes out and gets drunk with him and listens to him wax poetic about his piano. probably one of few who know he actually really did love the piano.

someone who thinks he's crazy for quietly investigating his own mother??? probably doesn't have all the details on his family life, and because you're taking such a "noble" approach he can't stand you. 

general friends??? ride or dies??? partner's in crime??? friends only when drunk, anything but when sober??? soft friends he must protect??? a squad of manipulative assholes???

he doesn't do relationships and that's probably because you broke his heart. :(

absolutely no one is surprised he broke your heart, everyone told you he was bad news but you didn't listen. what happened??? do feelings linger??? or just bitterness??? does he feel bad or not???

friends with benefits. no strings attached so it's all cool. or maybe you're getting attached??? or, what the hell, he's getting attached???

you two fist fought once. and you'll do it again.

someone who wants to help him with his investigation??? honestly, he might show it, but it'd mean so much to him.

aspiring pianist or just a curious hobbyist who is bugging him to help them learn how to play??? for some reason, he just can't say no.

someone very unlikely that he has a crush on??? no one would guess he'd ever fall for this person and even he's super confused??? 

people with cute, innocent crushes on him. he'll either think it's really cute or he's about to tease the hell out of you if he finds out.

an ex, but it's complicated??? they keep coming back to each other and then swear it won't happen again. 

a childhood friend who misses the sweet boy he used to be??? chan's very uncomfortable around them because they remind him of a better version of himself and he doesn't think he can ever go back to that.

need a rumor spread about someone??? go to chan. i will literally have him spread it in threads.

rivals!!! for any reason. 

a good influence that is soft and nice to him and brings out his sincere smiles!!!

you dislike one of his siblings and he's just Not about that??? or maybe he likes you but you hate his sibling(s) so he's conflicted??? to be friends or not to be???

idk really anything

i'll make a sexy list of sexily written plots when i get this mess of a blog under control

i'll also do a stats and bio pages

forgive me i am slow and lazy

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1985

Under the cut.

Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985

One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.

Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985

Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.

REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985

<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.

Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985

This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.

We Are the World -- April 13, 1985

Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)

Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985

This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.

Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985

As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.

Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.

So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.

Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985

What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.

Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985

I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.

Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.

I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.

Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985

He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.

Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985

I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.

Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985

I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.

Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985

I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.

Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985

I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good. 

Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985

This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)

John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985

Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.

Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985

This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.

Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985

The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.

a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985

The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.

Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985

It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.

Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985

No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.

Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985

My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.

Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985

Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.

Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985

This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.

Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985

This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.

Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.

Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985

I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.

BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds  WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship

[rosalynwhite]

introducing my bebe once again bc there were some very necessary changes i had to make! thank you to the admins for being open with me and allowing me to make these tweaks so that i am able to present rosalyn as a more fully fleshed out character than she had originally appeared. again, if you’d like to plot my discord is rachel#1771

tw: rape

33, born singapore but grew up in chicago, currently a neurosurgeon, fc is jessica henwick

adopted from china when she was 4 years old by theresa & paul white, who were pretty well off and known around town.

all her interests were indulged in growing up. she always loved math and science, was v smart and had a good head on her shoulders. excelled at almost anything she set her mind to and more,

went to gilchrist for undergrad and majored in biology and fkn loved it. being rercruited by the gravediggers was another step in the right direction, and they helped her thrive in her class and eventually get into her medical school of choice. those were years that she still looks back on fondly, despite what came shortly after.

TRIGGER WARNING: prior to graduation, she went to a party with friends and was drugged, dragged out to the woods and raped. she doesnt remember much but it left quite an impression on her.

came back to chicago, became a huge germaphobe with control issues. her house is like scarily clean, all white furniture, no plants or greenery anywhere in sight. still managed to be a neurosurgeon (and rly damn good) bc its the one place where she feels like she has total control.

upon receiving the letter she was hesitant  to return to gilchrist, but realized that it might help her get some closure. the salary was too good to ignore, and she had to admit that there were some people she was looking forward to reunite with. best of all though? maybe the gravediggers had enough connections to help her get that revenge.

she loves watching spanish soap operas, it’s legit her biggest guilty pleasure. she also enjoys playing the cello, a hobby she’d picked up from grade school and kept throughout the years. you can often find her at a coffee shop or the library, spending much needed quiet time by herself. she has a hard time connecting with people but once you’re in her circle, baby, u are IN. sis just wants to know tht she can trust you before calling you a friend, yknow? but she will legit do anything for those she loves -- it just might involve a lot of swearing and eye rolls.

her personality is kind of molded after cristina yang x 100000 bc we love that bitch

im SUPER open to any weird/crazy ideas that could connect our chars so pls come at me!!!

[mythicvls]

          WHAT’S CRACK’A’LACKIN Y'ALL ?!?!  my name’s sun  AND  i  live in the cst time zone. ( T E X A S  BBY 🤠 )  i hope ya’ll are all having a good day, afternoon, night !! whatever time it may be where you are out there in the WORLD. sorry i’m a bit late but i’m super excited to get this show on a roll. <3333  . i suck at intros, so pls bear with me.,  buuuuut !! i’ll be introducing, brianna and leo . one is your crazy inventor who works in the forge, and the other is your uptight hero who is obsessed with doing everything by the book. if you wanna know more about them, check out what’s below !!  like this and i’ll go to your messages to spam u with love. THANKS  . 

♡    ——    MEET  BRIANNA   !!

[  PARK CHAEYOUNG, SHE/HER, CISFEMALE  ]  —  [  BRIANNA  BANG  ]  is a child of  [ HEPHAESTUS ]  with the power of  [  TECHNOKINESIS & ENHANCED CRAFTING  ] .  they were born in  [ 1997 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2013 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ]  the  [ TECHNOLOGY ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ CREATING NEW GADGETS & GETTING OTHERS TO TEST THEM OUT ]

(  ABOUT PAGE  )

its ya girl , brianna bora bang !! aka bree !! daughter of hephaestus and one of the smiths who works in the forge .

growing up, bree’s childhood was relatively calm and uneventful. she was raised by her single-mother, who worked as a mechanic and though they didn’t have much , her mom still managed to get by , supporting them both the best she could. :’))

tbh, bree didn’t think a lot about her family’s financial situation when she was little. though, with that said,  she was a bit of a pain. 

not because she asked for, or constantly wanted material things, but rather, from a young age she had a knack for taking stuff apart and trying to put them back together again. fascinated by figuring out how certain devices worked. 

that habit eventually turned into bree taking things around the house, and makings ‘ improvements’ or crafting something completely new with the different parts she’d collected from items lying about.

 her mother living pay check to paycheck , was certainly in awe of brianna’s talents, but the young girl’s creative outlet definitely caused  some strESS !!

as one can imagine, she got in a lot of trouble as a kid. having a bit of a mischievous streak coupled along with her curious and imaginative tendencies. her mom wasn’t too happy when she came home to find the vacuum deconstructed , with brianna claiming there was a certain component she needed for the jet pack she was planning on creating

throughout her life, bree was always gathering attention, whether is was due to her odd personality, or the things she was creating. however she was especially attracting people’s attention when it came to the science fairs she enjoyed participating in while she’d been in elementary and middle school --- bringing something completely unexpected to ANNIHILATE ( as she would say )  the competition. 

but, brianna created so much buzz, it wasn’t uncommon for her to end up in local news papers as a young ‘genuis’. 

one time, even recruits from MIT came to check out to see what all the talk had been about. 

 when expressing their interest in her, her mother politely declined their offers. thinking bree may have been too young to consider making decisions like that at the time.

 [ yet, because of the news circulating bree, nl had been another group to approach her mom, along with hephaestus in hopes to provide brianna a safe haven from the potential threat of monsters (etc.), though her mother also refused that offer at the time ]

SO basically, bree just vibed through her early years creating a bit of mischief and making cool stuff with her handy dandy tool box ( or more like her mom’s tool box lmfao) 

she went about every day life as a regular kid, completely unaware of her relation to hephaestus until she neared the age of sixteen.

as she got a bit older, her mother fell in love with a pretty well-off guy who worked as an developmental engineer for the united states milt.. they got married and brianna then had a new step father in her life. despite him being much more strict with her. more than what her mom had ever been , they all got along pretty well. more than anything , bree was jus happy for her mom. 

and, it was a plus that they weren’t struggling as much as they originally had been thanks to his financial help.

however, due to an unfortunate turn of events , and a christmas tree having caught fire; their house burnt down. her mom and her stepfather were rescued by the fire department. unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for bree. watching the house engulfed in flames, they worried frantically about their daughter who’d still been trapped inside. but when bree had escaped through the fire by herself , uninjured and not suffering any burns whats so ever. her step-father , along with the fire fighters that had come to help , were hELLA FREAKED OUT. 

her step-dad was straight up like, i don’t fuk w demons.

and it was after the incident that her mother finally revealed the truth to bree about her biological father, and eventually gave her the option of going to nemean lion. which was information brianna’s mom had for quite some time, but had chosen to keep it to herself , simply cause she wasn’t 100% comfortable with bree leaving her so young.  

THANK GOODNESS THEY NEVER EXPERIENCED A MONSTER ATTACK.

though with what had happened, and her step father’s reaction, bree and her mother came to the agreement that it was probably best if she left for nl. 

she eventually moved in after a couple months of trying to make things work at home ( a compromise she made with her mom ). it didn’t work out sadly, and as soon as she turned sixteen, brianna became an official resident at the hotel.  having stayed at nemean until now !!

when she first got to nl she pretty much just embraced the change. throwing herself into training and what not, trying to figure out where her place was , all that teenage stuff. ‘tryina find urself uwu’ . 

AND she did go on missions quite a bit before the change happened !! having enjoyed tagging along to make some extra money, but her obvious calling was always at the forge. 

brianna now and before, has always had a reputation for walking around nl trying to convince people to give her latest weapons or gadgets a go !!

before the change happened at nl, bree was sorta all over the place. (  A MESS !! )  but her goals have become more focused thanks to entering the technology track. so once again, she embraced change with open arms. 

she’s totally digging the improvement that nemean lion has made.

after graduating from her track relatively fast; working on stuff  is what she mainly does nowadays. 

she’s most often found at the forge. cause when she gets an idea, she’s gotta get it done. she has no chill.

yeah, brianna is smart. but on the highkey, she’s only really knowledgeable in her field of expertise. 

SO, SHE DOES HAVE THAT CHAOTIC STUPID ENERGY COURSING THROUGH HER VEINS. if you ask her to do something dumb, she more then likely is gonna be down / say yes. skdjlfsjd

though bree isn’t necessarily materialistic, she is kinda obsessed with money, and making money. $$$$🤑🤑 part of it has to do with not having  had much growing up, and she wants that security YA KNO. but also , she doesn’t feel totally comfortable asking her mom/step-dad for money. so she out here making her own!!

 money is a big motivator for her.

overall, brianna is a brash, outgoing, oddball who is incredibly determined and hardworking. 

cause she’s always tryina get that promo, she can come off a bit opportunistic, selfish, and conceited when it comes to her inventions. typically she means well, she’s just a bit on the crazy side. 

 she has those mad scientist vibes.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

first friend brianna made at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) 

people she often trained with / went on missions with before the change happened

friends she’s known for a while here at nemean lion

loyal customers who commission weapons ( etc.) from her regularly. cause she likes you, she’s always down to give you a good deal.

double trouble --- just two chaotic souls, come together to do fun shenanigans. 

other people who work at the forge with her

brianna’s go to guinea pigs !! basically she goes to ya’ll when she comes up with a spicey new gadget, weapon, invention, knowing ya’ll are almost always game to get your hands on what she’s got for you.

impulse control --- pretty self explanatory, this person just settles her down. probably a mom friend who keeps her from doing dumb impulsive things.

people she just bothers bc she’s got a cool idea for you, but maybe you’re just like nah.

this person has been on the end of one of brianna’s failed inventions that didn’t turn out so hot. so now you REFUSE to try anything for her again.

people in the ambassador track she is constantly trying to get seen with her gadgets for that promo. she really wants to sell her inventions / sell her patents to big companies. $$

exes !! maybe there was DRAMA, or maybe it was a super chill split. if you wanna snatch this up, we can really do whatever ur vibin’.

enemies

frenemies

a mentor when she first arrived at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) they really helped her have an easier time adjusting to everything when she moved in at sixteen.

♡    ——    MEET  LEO  !!

[ KIM DOYOUNG, HE/HIM, CISMALE ]  —  [ LEO PARK ]  is a child of  [ ATHENA ]  with the power of  [ ENHANCED OBSERVING  &  ENHANCED STRATEGY ] .  they were born in  [ 1996 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2011 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM  ]  the  [ HERO ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ TRAINING or READING IN THE LIBRARY  ]  

(  ABOUT PAGE )

the son of athena, and a graduate from the hero track !!

honestly, leo’s life before nl was pretty boring.

 he grew up in a super small town and was raised by his grandparents after his dad pretty much bailed .

leo was an incredibly bright kid. he learned to read as well as write at a crazy young age, but because he was brought up by his grandparents his taste pretty much reflected his upbringing.  he likes super old music, movies. etc. and he’ prefers considerably less exciting pass times such as  reading books or playing games like chess. he always goes for a walk super early in the morning too which is something he picked up from his grandpa.

leo’s grandparents took care him when he was very little, but as leo grew older he found himself returning the favor and  instead helping his grandparents as they themselves aged over the years.

no one in his household was aware of leo’s ties to his biological mother athena. mainly cause his father never explained anything before he left the family to be on their own. 

leo’s life dramatically changed after he experienced a monster attack when he’d been fifteen years old. 

basically some demigods from nemean lion saved the day and thankfully nothing terrible happened. but leo’s identity as a demigod was finally exposed  to himself and to his family.

 he had a really hard time saying goodbye, as he worried how his grandma and grandpa were gonna do without him. however, he feared putting them in danger above all else. 

he was then taken to nl, where he spent his time up until now.

after he was rescued, leo couldn’t help but look up to the others who regularly went on missions and hunted monsters. naturally, he worked hard with the aspiration to be like them. 

 a lot of that also had to do with why he picked the hero track when the change had come about at nl.

if it wasn’t for moving, leo would have never realized his supernatural abilities. and it was through persistence and intense training that he was able to develop his powers over time, as well as pretty fast.

he has always been incredibly dedicated and disciplined. 

tbh he kinda has those old man vibes, even when he first arrived at fifteen.

 he takes missions and everything a little too seriously. 

he doesn’t really know how to have fun either. so when he is on hero duty, he is super STUBBORN about doing everything by the book. trying not to get too crazy and always wanting to make sure extra precaution is taken. 

he’s not about them risk. he really wants to ensure that there’s little to no damage that will be done if he can help it.

comes off grumpy most of the time, but it’s like 95% bc he kinda just sucks when it comes to people.

 social interaction is not his thing which is why he could have NEVER gone into the ambassador track lmfao.

LEO IS A RULE FOLLOWER, NOT A BREAKER. 

though he’s diligent, responsible and honest, he can also be EXTREMELY gullible, too straightforward, and at times, come off  as nagging or bossy.

overall, he just wants justice, and to ensure things are done right. but he’s not the best communicator, so instead of being diplomatic about it, a lot of the time he’s just like, ‘i’m right, you’re wrong’dkjsldjf

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

people leo has known or been friends with for a while

other demigods who he used to train with or currently trains with regularly

( friendly ?? ) competition --- likely another hero who has graduated from the hero track

someone currently training in the hero track who has asked to shadow leo ( BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE CHAOTIC AND LEO IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO WRANGLE THEM IN FROM THEIR WILD WAYS, ESPECIALLY WHILE THEY ARE OUT DOING HERO TINGZ )

the demigods who saved leo when he was fifteen ( someone who was around nl in 2011 / before )

unexpected duo----no one would have thought these two would be super close. after all, they are polar opposites, but this person gets leo to come out of his shell 

leo is super uptight, and because of that, this person enjoys messing with him. 

another person that frequents library just as much as him

maybe leo lowkey has beef with someone because every time he wants to check out a book, the mysterious person ‘insert muses name’ always has checked it out before him. one day when he’s talking about it, he finds out it’s YOU!!!!!!! how it plays out is up to whatever u’re feelin. but turns out they have the same taste in books. 

other people that are also uptight like leo and that’s why they get along so well

enemies---for whatever reason the two don’t mix

someone leo has an unrequited crush on , bc he’s lame

[baeluz]

Backstory Tingz

★TW: content about binge eating, restriction, sexual abuse, depression, alcohol abuse, and dysfunctional families★

Hello, hello, and welcome to my shit show of a life. Honestly, I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I feel like just posting this stuff will give me more accountability. Plus its easier to type than write, so lets gooo online journal. 

Since the pandemic started, I believe all of us have been going through rough times. From the poor to the people up at the top, we all have our own struggles. I’ve been blessed with a life of privilege to be born in a first world country (US), and in a middle class family, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. But some days I feel like such an asshole, because I feel like being able to binge is such a privilege.

Now I’m not saying that someone who’s poor can’t suffer from binge eating, but I personally feel so guilty when I do binge, not only because of my body looks right after, but also because of all the money, time and food wasted. While there are people out in the world starving, I’m here, unable to control myself from binging. What made this guilt worse was me living in India most my life, since that’s where my parents are from. I grew up seeing people on the streets, begging for food and money. 

As a child I used to be really fussy, and I would cry and scream until I got what I wanted. That mixed with a dysfunctional family, and sexual assault experiences from when I was a child gave me anxiety and depression from a really young age. And the only way I knew how to cope with that was drowning myself in music, isolating myself in my room and eating. It was weird, because I seemed like a happy kid that just likes being alone, but on the inside I was dying. I didn’t want anyone to see me, and I felt disgusted with myself all the time. I have a naturally curvy body, and since I was verging on obese as a kid, that part of me was very prominent. And you know the men in India, they stare at you like they ain’t ever seen a woman. It doesn’t matter if you’re a kid or a grown up, you got a vagina, they want it. Anyways, this made me wear jackets in scorching heat, made me not wanna look good because I thought maybe if I looked ugly they would stop looking, and made me want to binge more because of how disgusted I was with myself. 

I’m older now, and I know I can’t do anything about my body shape, and its not my fault I look this way. I’ve even lost all the weight, and started going to the gym when I was about 15 years old. But through those years, I used to starve myself so much, because I didn’t know anything about how to healthily lose weight. And that made skinny fat, so my thighs were still huge as fuck and I was so triggered by it. It didn’t help that I moved to Japan by myself, and everyone around me was such a smaller frame, while I was looking huge as hell taking up so much space. 

Everyone in Japan looked so skinny, and I wanted to wear the type of clothes they were, but I couldn’t do that. That made go through a cycle where I would restrict and walk like 30k steps a day, and then binge on the weekends. Once I discovered alcohol, shit went through the roof. I would buy 3 large cans of vodka soda, skip school and just drink and binge on food. It was so scary, I didn’t even realize what I was doing. Luckily that phase only lasted like 4 months and now I don’t drink alcohol at all, not only because of the binging but because of the type of person it made me. Once I even stole food from my roommate, but I quickly went to the grocery store and bought back another bag so she wouldn’t notice that I did. 

Once I graduated from high school I came back to the US and decided to really turn my life around. I took a gap year because I thought I really needed to work on my mental health, and also because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in university and didn’t want to waste my parents money. This is probably one of my biggest regrets in life lol. Please don’t take a gap year if you don’t have a strict plan or idea about what you’ll do. I was so lonely, because I don’t have any friends here since I didn’t grow up here. I couldn’t go anywhere because my parents both worked all day, so I had no car, and since we lived in the suburbs, nothing was nearby. It was so depressing being all alone with nobody to talk to since most my friends were busy with university. Plus all the arguing with my mom, and just us not getting along really made me want to kms. I think if I didn’t have my dog, I probably would’ve gone crazy. 

On the plus side, I started going to the gym and weightlifting. I started being more mindful of how I ate, and I was able to reflect on my emotions, and why I was acting the way I was. What was making me binge, what was making me feel so empty inside, and why was I finding it so hard to just “be normal”. I still don’t have the answers to all these questions, but at least I feel a bit more in control of myself than before. 

Since the pandemic started though, I’ve just been so depressed. The gyms were closed, financial situations got tight, my mom and I were fighting a lot more, and I started binging again. Throughout 2020, I was behaving the same way I was in Japan. I’d go on 3-4 hour walks, and then restrict, which would ultimately lead me to binge. Its evident that even when you feel like you’ve recovered and moved on from your disordered eating habits, its always in the back of your mind. Almost like an addiction. Its to the point that food is the only thing in my mind. After eating a meal, I’ll keep thinking about what I’m eating next, when I’m eating next, and to finish eating before my parents come home, because I hate eating in front of people. 

I’ve lost motivation to do everything I’ve loved, like writing songs, learning the guitar, doing yoga, singing, gaming, etc. Its just food, food, food, and its so scary. People don’t understand because its an internal thing. Those who’ve never been through it wouldn’t know. Like my mom, shes obese, but at least she doesn’t look at food like an enemy. She just likes to eat, she’s not ashamed of her body, and she’s also able to control how much she eats at a time. I wanna be able to look at food that way. 

Anywhoooo, now that all of that is off my chest, I’m dedicating this “blog” to 90 days of getting back on track, and healthily reaching my fitness goals once again. This is really just for me, but maybe if somebody who’s been through the same things I have reads this, they might find comfort in finding that they’re not alone, and maybe they’ll be motivated to join me. I’m going to get back into weight lifting, along with eating a healthy diet with just a bit of a deficit, because your bish has gained hella weight lol. I also want to get back into yoga and aim to be able to do the splits. My timeline goal is 12 weeks, but of course I wont be bummed if I don’t reach it because its not like I have anyone to show at the end lol, but I believe I can do it if I really stick to it. Fingers crossed I don’t binge. 

Thank you for reading if anybody has really made it this far <3

-Luz

[sumukhcomedy]

I’ve Talked to Black People So I’m Not Racist

I sat on the bus with my teammates as we traveled for a middle school basketball game. At one point, one of my teammates said to a group of us, “Why can’t Stevie Wonder read?” We shrugged. And he said, “Because he’s Black.” The other kids laughed. Internally, I didn’t react well but I’m sure I chuckled just to continue my acceptance and survival as the only kid who wasn’t white on this bus.

Why do I remember this moment? Why is it one of the few moments that stand out from that basketball season? It’s because racism and its power stand out to you years later. And, now, as I and hopefully many others evaluate the depths to systemic racism, it stands out as a moment of systemic racism. We were barely teenagers and yet somehow my teammate gained knowledge of this racist joke. He passed along the racist joke to us. These kinds of seemingly innocent racist moments and even my place in them to feel as if I could do nothing shows you how far systemic racism goes.

These moments have been a part of me for my entire life. This is what happens when you grow up as a person of color in a predominantly white environment. I’m back at it again as I find myself, in these times, educating white people. This is the great issue of being BIPOC in white environments: you become accepted enough to hear racism but powerless by the system to be able to correct it.

I as a Brown person and certainly Black people get used in systemic racism to comfort white people into believing that they are not racist. For so many I have been “their Brown friend” or “their Indian friend” or whatever. This has also strangely made me a conduit not just to all Indian people but all Arabs, all Asians, all Black people, all Indigenous people, and the list goes on and on. That’s been the case in so many environments including even in comedy as I have written about previously. I have no idea what white people have equated me to be to comfort themselves. It could be anything from close friendships with them to a Facebook friendship to a stranger smiling at me to seeing my comedy show. Any of these can allow white people to feel like they are not racist because they simply have interacted with me.

The fact is that I could be the same way as well. Growing up in such a system means that I am just as white and privileged if I wanted to be. I could say nothing in the current situation that we are in and I would be just fine. Systemic racism and growing up in a white environment can train you to want to support white people and even defend them somehow. It’s particularly the case for Asians, who as the “model minority” get extra bonus points from white people for their success. We are the exemplary immigrant and person of color. So, it becomes easy for some of us to reciprocate white comfort and cozy up with white supremacy because it continues to benefit us.

I can’t say why but I knew, even at a young age, that even though I was in a white environment, I was seen more as my color than I was as white. So I knew I had to better understand that experience on a deeper level. I educated myself on Black issues, Indigenous issues, South Asian issues, and race theory while in college. I interacted with a Black community that ceased to exist where I grew up. I established friendships and valued real conversations on racism inside and outside of the classroom. I’ve done the same since graduating and moving into the strange world of stand-up comedy and in the business world. This effort allowed me to learn and I’m still learning.

An example to express how easy it is to not see systemic racism and white comfort was a video that went viral of John McCain campaigning prior to the 2008 presidential election. A woman in the crowd says to McCain, “I can’t trust Obama. He’s an Arab.” McCain quickly takes the microphone after shaking his head and says, “No, ma’am. He’s a decent family man, citizen, that I happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign is all about.” Everyone has applauded McCain for his decency handling the situation but no one appears to ask the deeper-rooted questions. First, how did this woman get to this point that she’s thinking that way? How did she believe Obama was Arab? What does “being Arab” mean to her (clearly, terrorism, anti-Christianity and perhaps even worse). And, clearly she is not alone, as there was applause from the audience to her concerns. All white people, including McCain (stuck between a rock and a hard place as a politician having to accept these people still needed to vote for him), excused these comments. They brush her off as crazy and racist. But they never addressed why this kind of craziness and racism existed in the first place. They have never dealt with the fact that this kind of racism is a part of even them. Neither McCain nor even YouTube comments years later truly condemn such a question even existing.

53% of white women voted for Donald Trump. This is a stat that gets consistently brought up particularly by white feminists. But this stat hasn’t been dealt with at all. White women are caught in systemic racism and it’s clear, when push came to shove, they chose being white over being a woman. On a purely superficial level, they chose “grab ‘em by the pussy” over the first woman president in the country’s history. The reality is that some of these women (and white men) voted for Obama. How could they vote for Obama and then vote for Trump? It’s because, for so many, it was easy to brush off Obama’s election as the “end of racism.” But, the “end of racism” then signaled a quick move to voting for someone enacting blatant racist policies. Many people got comforted voting for Obama, so comforted that it allowed them to then vote for a man who accused him of not being born in America.

It’s not particularly fair to compare race and gender but I’m not sure how else to do it in these situations to drive home the point. As even a well-meaning man, I no longer tout myself as a feminist as I did in college. It’s a heavy, misunderstood word. But I listen to women, I support women, I speak up when I feel it’s right to do so and then I keep my mouth shut on the topic and keep learning. The same cannot be said of race in this country. So many people (men and women) are getting highly emotional and overwhelmed about it over the past few weeks, but rather than listening and learning, they keep talking. They behave in ways that only white people afforded the benefits of being at the top in systemic racism could have the opportunity to behave like. They speak with the same perspectives on race that systemic racism presented to them. And, when we do bring gender into it, we should understand how particularly difficult it is for Black women and the Black trans community within this system.

If you want to begin to reflect and address systemic racism, perhaps think about the moments in which you experienced it or took it for granted. Maybe it’s something you experienced when in school. Maybe it’s how you behaved with your “Black friend.” Maybe it’s when you watched McCain’s reaction in the video above. Maybe it’s the feeling you had when you voted for Obama. Maybe it’s the feeling you have when presented with the stats on Trump. Either way, we’ve finally reached a point of understanding where we all need to push away the thoughts that we are not racist and embrace how systemic racism has existed in our society forever, how it’s had an effect on us to make us racist, and how we change that.

If we allow ourselves to listen, reflect, and analyze before speaking up, we allow ourselves to get on the path of being antiracist as opposed to “not racist.” Otherwise, you can still applaud yourself for your one Brown friend talking to you or the two times you voted for Obama.

[pintofteaforthesoul]

A Terrasen Prom

Aelin sucked in her breath, hands gripping the back of her desk chair as Lysandra tugged the zipper of her dress up. Even still, Lysandra hissed, “Suck in!”

Aelin gasped. “If I suck in anymore, my uterus will be in my throat!”

Lysandra snorted, but was able to get the zipper the rest of the way up and step back. Aelin turned, hugging her hands to her chest. Lysandra looked stunning in a deep emerald gown, the top almost shear with leaves embroidered like lace along her chest and arms and a tulle skirt that had a slit up the leg. She was shocked the school had allowed something so scandalous, especially with the low V-neckline, but it suited Lysandra perfectly.

Aelin looked down at her own baby blue dress. It had off-the-shoulder cuff sleeves and a full-bodied skirt with white embroidery dotted along the fabric. Her dream gown really… Aelin frowned, smoothing the skirt with light hands.

Lysandra pulled took Aelin’s hands in her own and Aelin glanced back up at her best friend’s worried expression. Her hair was pulled back in jeweled clip, with soft dark brown curls framing her face. “Are you sure you’re up for this? We don’t have to go…”

Aelin shook her head, straightening her back with confidence she didn’t feel. “It’d be lame if we didn’t go now, especially since we’re already dressed.”

“But Chaol-”

Aelin cut her off, eyebrows furrowing as a pang flashed through her heart. “Chaol can suck my dick for all I care.” But Lysandra knew she was lying, giving Aelin that knowing expression of hers. Aelin’s face dropped. “He broke up with me a week before prom, Lys. Who does that?”

Lysandra hugged her. “An idiot, that’s who. So we’re going to go anyway and he’s going to see just how fabulous you are and regret the day he was born!”

Her voice was filled with such genuine fervor that it made Aelin smile. After a moment, Aelin nodded. “Okay.”

~~~

The Ballroom was extravagant, that’s the only word Aelin thought came close to describing it. Decked in shades of blues, purples, and white, the Hotel Ballroom would make a Queen stop dead in her tracks at its beauty. Three chandeliers sent dancing lights across the floor and walls, making it feel ethereal.

Aelin’s jaw dropped as she and Lysandra swept in along with the other members of their high school- Aelin standing out because she was one of the few sophomores. She squirmed, eyes darting like a nervous doe.

Lysandra reached over and pinched her, causing Aelin to jerk her head over with a hiss. “Stop looking for him, you’ll drive yourself crazy.” It was a hushed whisper and Aelin scowled.

They drew over to one side of the massive room, dropping by the refreshments table to get punch before it got spiked. Finally having an inkling of privacy as the loud music started and people rushed to the dance floor, Aelin leaned over and whispered, “What if he’s here with another girl?”

Lysandra sighed. “Even if he is, she won’t be nearly as pretty or as smart as you.”

The compliment fell on deaf ears as Aelin resumed her scanning of the crowd. Lysandra let her be, knowing Aelin would have to find Chaol before she did anything else- even dance.

But Aelin found someone else, standing in the center of a group of males with his head thrown back as he laughed. His short silver hair nearly glittered in the light, the swirling tattoo down his face still a shock to see amongst high schoolers. He was the school’s own Bad BoyTM and relished in every dirty deed in the book. Aelin hadn’t recognized him at first without his signature leather jacket, but his group of friends were also unmistakable. Aelin shoved her elbow into Lysandra, who cursed loud enough to have several heads turn towards them, but Aelin didn’t care. “Rowan Whitethorn is here!” She struggled to lower her voice so it wasn’t a shout.

Lysandra’s mouth dropped open. “You’re joking! Where?” Her eyes greedily scanned the crowd until she found him- it wasn’t like he blended it. “Holy shit. What is he doing here?”

The girls leaned their heads even closer. “I don’t know! He’s a senior, so it’s fully in his right to come since the ticket it free for them.”

Lysandra still looked dumbfounded. “But he never comes to these things! And I don’t see Lyria with him.” Lyria was the head cheerleader and had been Rowan’s girlfriend for as long as Aelin had ever known. They were practically inseparable, the typical “good girl” falling for the Bad BoyTM. Aelin had always been jealous since they were the school’s Power Couple, not helping that she’d liked Rowan ever since he’d shoved a boy that was messing with her off the playground in fourth grade.

But he’d never paid her any mind, not even once Aelin grew boobs, packed on a decent amount of muscle playing lacrosse, and shot up to be taller than most of the girls in her class. Rowan had only ever had eyes for Lyria and her hot cheerleader body.

Not that Aelin had cared after she’d met Chaol, who’d swept her off her feet with his toned athletic body and meaningless promises- but she’d never forgotten Rowan, or the fluttering thrill his presence sent through her stomach. “Maybe they broke up?” Aelin didn’t dare let herself hope, not with the still-constant ache of Chaol’s dumping her.

“Let’s make sure he sees you, then.” Lysandra grinned like a fiend and, before Aelin could protest, dragged them onto the dancefloor.

~~~

Rowan wanted to leave and he’d been at the prom for less than twenty minutes. He wouldn’t even be here if Fenrys hadn’t threatened to withhold the after-party location if he didn’t show. Sneaking sips from the flask hid in his jacket, Rowan scowled at the people around him- most of whom he didn’t know their names. Lyria was nowhere to be seen, and good riddance. She’d left him for some college guy’s dick, so she wasn’t his problem any longer.

Fenrys nudged him, drinking from a cup of punch that had definitely been spiked by now. “Cheer up, man, you look like death.”

Rowan shook his head. “I wonder why. It’s almost like I didn’t want to come.”

Fenrys only grinned. “It’s our last prom before graduating! You’ll thank me later.”

“I doubt it.” Rowan muttered and Lorcan on his left snorted, the only one who heard. He had also been dragged here by Fenrys with the promise of an after-party.

Fenrys visibly checked out a girl that passed and she blushed, scampering away with her friends. Rowan rolled his eyes, but checked out one of the girl’s friends and winked just for the hell of it. He at least shouldn’t warm his bed alone after putting so much effort into this evening- Rowan was wearing a suit for gods-sake.

While Rowan’s head was turned to the side, following the group of girls as they wandered back to the dance floor, he saw her- and sucked in a breath. Aelin Galythnius. She was twirling in circles with another girl in a dark dress. Rowan’s eyes widened at the pale blue dress Aelin wore, showing off her neck, shoulders, and the enticing swell of her breasts. She was stunning, but that was nothing new. Even though Aelin was only a sophomore, she was already a shoe-in to be Valedictorian of her class. She was smart, talented, and overall- incredible.

Fenrys was talking, but froze at the expression on Rowan’s face, following his gaze to Aelin. “Shit! Is that Aedion’s little sister?”

“Cousin.” Rowan corrected out of habit, shoving Fenrys when the man started to practically drool. Another shove when he wouldn’t stop staring. “Stop. You know Aedion will have our asses if we even look at her the wrong way.”

Fenrys wrenched his gaze away as if it took extreme effort, Rowan had to admit he was feeling the same- his eyes wanting to stray back to Aelin as those hips moved in time to the pulsing music. “Damn, she might be worth an ass-whooping in that dress.”

Lorcan shook his head at them, the only one in their group with a loving and supportive girlfriend and who had no interest in leering at other women. “No girl is worth that shit, but I’ll pay for tickets if you decide to be a dumbass.”

Rowan had to even his breathing, reminding himself of the words he spoke next, “She’s in a relationship, Fen.”

Something dangerous sparkled in Fenrys’s eyes. “You didn’t hear?”

Rowan scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Heard what, jackass?”

Fenrys grinned. “Westfall dumped her last week.”

Rowan choked in his drink, having made the mistake of trying to take a drink to calm his nerves. It took him a second to say, “That cocksucker did what?”

Lorcan twirled his glass, disinterested. “I believe he said-”

Rowan’s fists curled. “I know what he said, Lorcan.” The words were a hiss and he took a long breath, running a hand through his hair. “I knew Westfall was dumb, but damn.”

Fen nodded. “I honestly pity him. Aedion must be plotting his murder as we speak.”

“Whose murder am I plotting?” Every muscle in Rowan’s body tensed at the sudden voice. They turned in unison to see Aedion Ashryver standing behind them.

Fen only smirked in his usual fashion. “Chaol Westfall.

Aedion’s head only tilted to the side. “Why would I be killing Chaol?”

Rowan let out a breath, willing his face to remain neutral and wishing he were anywhere but there. Fen’s smile fell, uncertain about giving this news. “He’s your Lacrosse captain, I assumed you knew…”

Aedion now walked closer, his surprising height making even Fen look short. “Knew what, Moonbeam?”

Rowan, now half behind Aedion, shook his head furiously, but Fenrys stumbled on. “About Westfall and your cousin- that he dumped her.”

The look that passed over Aedion’s face in a mere flash was one of pure rage, but Rowan respected his ability to hold it down. “Oh.” He said. “If you’ll excuse me…” Then as fast as he’d appeared, Aedion was gone.

Rowan stared at Fenrys until the man went, “What?!”

Rowan shook his head in unison with Lorcan. “Why the fuck did you do that? It’s none of our business.”

Fenrys shrugged. “He deserved to know.”

Rowan ran a hand through his hair, catching the glint of Aedion’s blonde hair as the man half-dragged his cousin off the dancefloor.

~~~

“Ow! Aedion, you’re hurting me.” Aelin murmured the words as her cousin manhandled her into a corner of the ballroom, glaring away any people nearby. Lysandra had followed them over and Aedion glared at her too, but she held firm.

At last, Aedion hissed, “When were you going to tell me that Westfall dumped you?”

Aelin cringed. “I was planning on it, there just never seemed like a good time.”

Those eyes that were identical to hers held death. “A good time? Aelin! I’ve been friendly with him all week when I should have been kicking his ass!” His voice was damn near close to a shout and the girls both shushed him. They were drawing too many eyes.

Aelin could only sigh. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d react badly.”

A muscle in Aedion’s jaw twitched. “He. Dumped. You.”

She let out a breath, that weight back on her chest. “Thanks for the reminder.” She’d meant to say it sarcastically but her voice broke.

Aedion watched Aelin’s face drop as she fought the tears that wanted to ruin her. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Aelin shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over. It’s done. I just want to move on and have a nice night. Is that too much to ask for?” Aedion’s face softened in a way it only did for Aelin.

Lysandra came up and looped her arm around Aelin’s waist. “Who told you anyway?”

Aedion looked almost confused. “Fenrys Moonbeam. He, Rowan, and Lorcan were talking about it for some reason.”

Aelin’s heart gave a discordant thump. “What? Why?”

Aedion shrugged. “You’d have to ask them. They seemed interested for whatever reason.”

Lysandra sent Aelin a knowing glance that made the corner of her mouth turn up. Rowan Whitethorn was talking about her- it was actually a dream come true.

Aedion glanced between them. “Why do you have that look on your faces?”

“No reason.” Lysandra lied and began to pull them away, but Aedion grabbed Aelin’s hand.

“Hey,” His voice was much softer now, serious. Aedion’s face was pressed with worry. “Can we talk about this later though?”

Aelin bit her lip. She didn’t want to, but knew she owed him the story at the very least. “Sure.” Aedion nodded and let Lysandra drag Aelin away.

Several feet away, Lysandra giggled and pulled on Aelin’s arm. “Rowan was talking about you!”

Aelin shushed her by swatting her arm. “Not because he likes me. My break-up is good gossip I guess.” She sneaked a glance over to where Rowan and his friends still stood. As if he could feel her gaze, Rowan looked her way- an odd emotion on his face.

Lysandra seemed to push her in his direction. “You should talk to him. Start some drama, it’d be good for you.”

Aelin’s heartbeat picked up. “Don’t even put those thoughts in my head. Just because we don’t see Lyria, it doesn’t mean he isn’t still with her.”

Lysandra only rolled her eyes. “Then why is he still looking at you?” Aelin’s heart stopped.

~~~

Rowan couldn’t take his eyes off her, especially once those gold-rimmed turquoise eyes had met his and even long after she’d torn them away. Fen nudged him quite harshly and Rowan glared over at him. “What?”

Fen shook his head. “Why don’t you just go talk to her already? You obviously want to.”

“Why?” Lorcan murmured, knowingly. “She’s already on her way over.”

Rowan tensed and the others laughed. He finally glanced over to see Aelin making her way over to them. It almost took his breath away, the way she moved with such confidence. Like a Queen. But it was her face that caught him, the nervous biting of her cheek that was evident even so far away.

Rowan held his breath and when Aelin finally reached them she cocked her hip out, stared them down, and said, “So, you’ve been talking about me?”

Rowan was left speechless, so it was Fenrys who said, “And if we were?”

Aelin turned those eyes on Fen and Rowan could see the miniscule flinch of Fen’s shoulders. Aelin seemed to notice it too and smiled. “You’re Fenrys, right?”

Fenrys looked down at her, but Aelin wasn’t intimidated. “Yeah, why?”

That head tilted to the side, eyes assessing Fen up and down in the way a doctor might. “I’ve seen a couple of your games.”

That usual charismatic Fen smirk was back. “Oh yeah? And what’d you think, little lady?”

Without a beat, Aelin laughed. “That your swings are weak because you don’t use your legs enough.”

Lorcan howled while Fenrys could only gape at Aelin. Rowan was trying to hide his grin behind his hand. Aelin’s eyes flicked to his and that grin spread. Rowan looked at Fen, who was still looking like an idiot, and winked. “She’s got a mouth on her you have to admit.”

Fenrys composed himself, steeling his face to neutral, but it was Rowan who asked, “Anything else we can do for you?”

Aelin bit her lip, eyes flicking over Rowan with a little spark in them. “No, I think that’s it.” And they all watched her strut away, but Rowan could only wait a beat before he followed- right on her heels.

They were in the middle of the crowd when Rowan caught her wrist. The music was pulsing around them, some pop song that was popular but Rowan didn’t know the words. In the small area, Rowan had to draw her back to face him. It was an almost embrace, Aelin’s hand coming up to his chest. He heard her sharp inhale and he asked, “Will you dance with me?”

Aelin grinned. “Yes.”

 ~~~

[A/N]

So this was totally unplanned, just a thought I had at work. If you want me to continue it, let me know. It would be a short story but just fluff pretty much. Maybe some smut but these are much younger characters so maybe not. 

[truestory1929]

April 9th 2020

Final Blog 1979 to 1983 Emerson and Mary leaving the nest. After 1983 our house just went along just like everybody else!

Left to right back, Jamie, Me, Dad, Rita, front left, Emerson and Dorothy. This pic was just after we met our Father for the first time in 15 years!

THE FINAL BLOG! April 9th 2020

1979 to 1983

Emerson's leaving and Mary is moving in!

     Well here we are January 1979, my oldest son brother Emerson is halfway through grade 12 and wondering what to do in June when he graduates. Emerson took Motor Mechanics in High School this trade is still with him today, saved him tons of money, but he never took it up as a career. We had  rules in our house about education. First; education was more important than sports, two; you can live with us as long as you continue your education as long as you are progressing, this does not mean spending three years in grade 12, third and last; when the education is over, you live with us rent free for one year, get a job, save money for an apartment and move out. Otherwise we believe without these rules [ and we saw enough of it]  your parents will charge you a small rental fee,then you will take your excess money and buy a fancy sport's car with big payments,and a big insurance  bill and now go no where fast. This might be called tough love today. Especially because the average age of moving out is about 27 years old if you are lucky.

    David joined T-ball last year, and Jason joined this year. Sports was not at the top of our list for raising kids. I only played back yard sports. We had a ball field out by the Saint John airport where the car rental company is now. We played a lot of flys and grounders, scrub etc. Pat Riley and Jim Daly both hitch hiked to the south end of Saint John and played Little League. We played pond hockey on Treadwell Lake. I really did love sports but because of my situation I just did not get there. I am not feeling sorry for myself, its just the way it was.The first year I was at my foster home, the boys in Johnson's road talked me into joining school boy hockey. I had no equipment and The Wood's [ my foster parents] where not interested in helping me. I bought old time hockey equipment from the Merzetti's.[ who owned Mutal Jobbing on Douglas avenue] You could use google today and find this hockey equipment from the 50's. Leather helmet, leather pants and size 10 skates when I was a size 8. I loved it, but hitchhiking to Simonds Centennial Arena in the dead of winter was brutal. I played about 10 games. I did not even know what an off side was and I would be standing down in front of the other teams net waiting for the puck before my team mate was across the blue line. After a couple of games I caught on after all the the screaming and yelling from the coach and the players. Its funny now to think back on this stuff. Murray Sewell was responsible for my kids getting into sports. Murray had his t-ball team practicing in the Glen Falls play ground [which was next door to our house]so David went over to see what was going on. He got David throwing the ball and Murray was impressed. Like in the Chevy movie "BING0" this guy could throw a ball voila sports was born into the Reynolds Family.Jean was a good athlete, basically a tom boy until she was 16 years old, then yahoo, the most beautiful girl I ever met, a real lady, dainty, sweet, kind, loving, supportive [ and I mean supportive, I had a lot of crazy ideas and she went along with them eventually]. She was always being picked to be on someone's team at he Allison grounds in Rockwood Court. So its in [watch for the pun] the Jeans! lol

 Now lets go back to the Merzetti's. In my first year with my foster parents, Marion and Fred Woods, Jim Merzetti asked me if I wanted to make some extra money stocking shelves at Mutal Jobbing. Well sure I was always looking for ways to make money. I use to walk the ditches with Jimmy Daly for pop and beer bottles and we we an empty 50 lb burlap bag. We would take them Berry's store across from the airport and cash them in. Pile winter wood for neighbours, run errants for the neighbors, fish trout through the ice and sell them and even cut trees down from other people's land and sell them for christmas trees. We just got inside the door and this elderly gentleman walked in. MR. Merzetti who own the business introduced him to me, his name was Havelock Lane. Tall slim man very nice. Three years later after Jean and I started dating, she introduced me to her grandparents Havelock and Genavieve Lane! Yep, same guy!

    Emerson graduated yahoo, big milestone for any Reynolds to graduate.You know I never said this before,I hated our last name, I swore I was going to change my name when I grew up. We used to get "ren-hole" because we we so dirty and so poor, an I'm sure we were stinky. How do you bath in the winter and wash clothes when I filled the washer up every morning to supply water for Mom for the day out of Treadwell Lake? I remember when I graduated I thought I died and went to heaven! Emerson decided to go to NBCC and Take the one year plumbing course. We were very proud of him  wanting to continue his education. This will make the fourth Reynolds to go to NBCC. Myself, Dorothy and Jamie also graduated from NBCC. He passed in flying colors. He never took up Motor mechanics or plumbing as a career trade, but has saved himself lots of money doing both. Who really knows what you want to do for a living for the rest of your life? Every person I know [and I know a lot of people] are not doing what they thought they might do after the education is over with one exception, My son David, he knew he wanted to be a Doctor in grade 6. Emerson had done many jobs, each jog shaping his skills and shaping his well being. He has found his niche in Ventilation, he is at the top of his game, he  is in upper managment, he creates multi-million dollar bids for his company, he is well respected in his company and his field of expertise! Emerson never took us up on the offer to stay rent free for a year. NBCC let him graduate early as he had a job with Bob Duplussis Plumbing company. Moved out and into his own apartment on Michael Crescent all by the time of his 21st birthday on June 5th 1980. Emerson lived with us for 7 years. He is my oldest son, he is a big brother to my three sons. It was a hell of a run Em!

     Ben now has got into the sports world He joined t-ball this year. Jean is trying to get her drivers licence. Jean is very nervous about theses things. She is now 30 years old. I work shift work so I am not around to drive the kids to their sports for every game. We are going nuts, we have friends and neighbours helping us with driving to and from ball and hockey venues. Kudos to the Sewell's, Goguens, Allaby's, Carson's, White's, Mclaughlin's, Hutchinson's, Doiron's, Stevens, and many more for helping with picking up and delivering our kids to and from the rinks and ball fields. I was driving a 1974 Pontiac Lemans at the time. Big car, Jean failed two road tests up to this point. The car was too big for parallel parking , combine that  with Jean's nerves it was useless. Okay new plan, I called rent-a-wreck to see if I could rent a small car for her to take road test. They said no [remember no speaker phone] as their insurance only covers the driver. I said okay, [I never told Jean the whole conversation] come on Jean we are going to get a small car for you. I told her she could  sit in our the car until I got the rental car, I was not making any mistakes about blowing my scam. I rented an AMC pacer, nice and small, easy to parallel park etc. I left my car in the parking lot and drove home, we already had the appointment made. Jean said she would need to take a valium to calm her nerves just before we leave. The road test was in the West Side Motor vehicle. Now the examiner always asked for the permit and car registation. The registration was just a photo copy. In these AMC pacers they hasd  a tray that ran the entire width of the car under the dash. So I told Jean that it was just laying under the glove box where he could see it, praying that he would not pick it up. Remember Jean has no idea that this whole thing is illegal. Well she took the test and passed in flying colors. Yahoo Jean has her licence, I told Jean the whole story after we got home. The colr drained from her face.

    Okay, we are starting to finish chapters and start a new one. David finally gets his own room at 9 years old after Emerson moved out. We asked him how he wanted his room done. He wanted wallpaper with the old vintage airplanes, De Havilland's etc. We bought him a Captains bed and painted the room. That was one happy kid yahoo! Well the yahoo did not last long. Around Christmas time we got a call from Jean's mother who was living in Montreal at the time. We had just got settled in bed for the night, its was around midnight when the phone rang. We turned on the bedroom lights and Jean proceeded to talk to her mother. No speaker phone then, but I gathered it was Vera. Jean hung up and said her mother was crying and broken hearted. I asked her what was the matter and she said that Mary needed a place to stay until she graduated from high school.[ Quebec passed a new law that year requiring all students to finish their education in French only. Mary was taking hairdressing. Bill 101 was enacted on August 26, 1977. The bill basically was  made to ensure the Province of Quebec became totally French speaking only. The top jobs at the time were held by English speaking Canadians. Bill 101 was to make schooling in French only up to high school. All signages were to be in French only. Then in 1980 they decided that the high schools were to be French only too. Mary needed to move back to Saint John to finish high school.]  Jean said her mom wanted us to talk it over and call her back tommorrow. I told Jean call your mom back right now. You were the one who decided to take in Emerson for me. If you said no it was no. Now it is my turn, we are taking her in. Jean called Vera back and told her we would take care of Mary, and that was that. Now we have to tell David that he will have to move back in the laundry room for at least three years. Poor David, as sad as he was he never complained, he went about his business as usual. He might have said something to his brothers but not us? Mary was in grade eleven and will be going to Saint John Vocational School. Something I forgot to say about Emerson, he did a lot of babysitting, he made his own money as he was a member of the Miltia since he was 16 years old, and bought us very nice gifts [Thanks Em] Okay now, Mary was the same, she helped Jean around the house, she baby sat and made life for us as easy as possible. Mary was 17 years old when she moved in.

   Well Mary graduated in flying colors in June 1982. Mary decided that she really did not want to be a hairdresser. Jean was working at the Top of the Town restaurant. This was located on Main st. on the roof of Keddys Hotel. I talked to the superviser of the down stairs coffee shop and dining room off the main hotel lobby and was able to talk her into hiring Mary as a cashier. She eventually became a waittress. Jean introduced Tony Kane to Mary. Tony was working in the banquet department. The next year I got her an apartment in east Saint John and her and Tony moved in together. Mary moved out the end of September 1983. Before she moved out I got Mary to teach me how to cut hair.[ I just cut Jeans hair yesterday as we are quarantined]. David is now 12, Jason is 11 and Ben is 6. cutting their hair became another job for me for years to come. Emerson was getting married on Oct 8 1983. I was the best man at the wedding. It was a blast. When we got home we found our house was in  shambles. Some one broke into our home and ransacked the place, stole our stereo system and all my 8mm home movies from 1979 to 1983, Christmases, birthday, sporting events etc. We were heart broken. You never really get over something like that. It was like somebody tearing your heart out.

     Well David gets his room back again, he is now 12 years old. You are a good man David.We have been married now for 13 years Dec 12, 1983. We started this journey moving people into our home in 1973, two and half years after we were married. We were married December 12 1970. We will be married 50 years this December. We were going to go on a cruise, but we think in lieu of what is happening right now with the coronavirus that cruising is out for a long time for us. We have no desire to even fly overseas. We will stick to North America thank you very much!

   This will be my last blog, hope you guys found something that interested you. I can't sign out before I mention the foster parents. May of 1967 I went to Fred and Marion Wood on Johnson Road, where I grew up with  their youngest son Gerald. He introduced me to motorcycles, he would let me ride all of them, he had 4 different bikes in my time there. I never had an older brother so now I do. Gerald or Woody which he prefer, we still bike around today.  Dorothy and Emerson went to the Donnie and Jean Armstrong's, god bless them they 7 kids of their own. Jamie went to the Baxters Len and Mertle, who had at least 8 kids of their own.[The Baxters and the Armstrongs lived across from each other on the Loch Lomond road beside the Norris road.] Then Emerson went to the Morris's, and Dorothy went to the Websters. Then Emerson went back to the Armstrongs and then to me and Jean May 9th 1973. So from May 1967 to May 1973 Emerson moved 4 times in 6 years. Dorothy then went to Godin's and then to our place on Cooks Lake road off the Norris Road in August 1975 to attend NBCC. We lived in a small house we were renting from Dawn and Vince Dempsey. They were our Landlord and Landlady for our first 7 years of our marriage. After Dorothy graduated she and her boyfriend, John Sullivan, got an apartment on the Loch Lomond Road. People can say all they want about foster parents, some good stuff and some bad stuff. Without them, where would we be today. Mr amd Mrs. Wood taught me every thing I know. learned manners, building, [ I used all the tools to build an addition on the back of their house. which launched me into the Oil Refinery], I learned how to plAy chess, learned how to play a guitar etc. We had three square meals a day, we were warm, were clothed, we had it all. Yes we were separated, yes the love was not the same as we got from mom. But man, these people took us into their homes and took care of us. We were backward, dirty, angry, at times just plain bad, neglected, dressed in rags, if you can think of it that was us, but they took us in anyway, GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

    I wanted my grandchildren to have some history about their grandparents and their parents. I knew nothing about my grandparents, little about my aunts and uncles, cousins etc. They all lived in Nova Scotia. The only relatives that came to see us was Mom's parents Fred and Margie Hayter, they came in 1961 a year after Dad left, just for the day, and my Aunt Goldie in the late 70's at Todd Street in Glen falls. I started this project in the fall of 2013, I do not know where the time goes.I was going to quit a few times, I stopped writing for a while, but my grandkids urged me to finish. At times it seemed that I was just whining or feeling sorry for myself or sometimes it just made me sad. Thanks you for urging me on, it was good therapy for me, it made me realize how lucky we are, to have the family we have and all the good people I have met and all the things we have done! I am a lucky man to be so rich with LOVE!

    I never thought I would live long enough to receive an old age check, we have been getting it three years now. Its great to be a Canadian. After living in USA for the last several winters you know how lucky you are. They do not have free health care [ I know what you are thinking its not free , we paid high income tax compared to the Americans but that was a good thing, just ask an American.] and we have the Old Age check. They do not have this. They have social security, which is based the same as our Canada Pension Plan, a working persons pension. [ notice I did not say working man's pension lol]. Our old age check is an  awesome bonus. Canadians do not contribute financially to it, you only need to be 65 years old,and be a Canadian citizen for 5 years. Yahoo. I hope you all get to collect it someday.

      We will continue to quarantine ourselves after our mandatory quarantine on April 15th. We may be carriers so we do not want to pass anything on to you. We will continue the 6 feet or 2 meters social distancing,and we will wear a mask when we are out. We will visit out in the yards at your place or ours for the good of all of us! We love you all very much!    

    Your grandparents Nana and Papa! oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo see you soon!

[dippedanddripped]

“I’M SO OFF MY TITS ON COFFEE,” Stella McCartney admits, knocking back yet another cup in the foyer of a boutique hotel a stone’s throw from her home in London’s Notting Hill. “I had four school drop-offs this morning,” she explains. “I start at 6:30 a.m., and by the time I get to work [by bicycle], I feel like I’m literally done for the day. I’m a big hot sweaty mess, too,” she adds, having decided that a thick organic-cotton flying suit (no pesticides used in its production) was the way to dress for a Monday morning that started grimly overcast but soon turned sultry. “It’s just so difficult being in fashion, isn’t it?” McCartney sighs. “We have to pretend to be so perfect. I’m the one that comes in with a punk-rock kind of ‘fuck this perfection,’ ” says the woman who famously turned up, with Liv Tyler, to the Costume Institute’s 1999 “Rock Style” exhibition, both wearing jeans and custom T-shirts spelling out ROCK ROYALTY. “It’s not maintainable, it’s not wise, and it’s very old-fashioned. So there you go.”

McCartney does the school run five days a week with daughters Bailey, 13, and Reiley, 9, and sons Miller, 14, and Beckett, 11. “When you’ve got a job and you’ve got kids,” she says, “it’s when you get to see them, and you have to wake up super early and engage in that moment. Then I try and squeeze in some exercise, and then I go to work. And I try and get back for the bookending of being a mum.”

On weekends, McCartney spends more time with the family when they decamp to an estate in the wilds of unfashionable north Gloucestershire, the result of a house hunt born, as McCartney has explained, of “a desperate mission to find land so that I could ride my horse.”

McCartney married the dashing and protective Alasdhair Willis—the former publisher of Wallpaper and a creative guru himself—in the fall of 2003, and their aligned aesthetic passions run the gamut from the innovative indoor-outdoor architecture of the midcentury Sri Lankan architect Sir Geoffrey Bawa to old English roses. Over the past 15 years, the couple have transformed their handsome but once desolate Georgian manor house, sitting in bleak open farmland, into “a redbrick box within a garden within a garden within a garden,” as McCartney describes it, a breathtaking landscape of grand walled enclosures and allées of trees reflecting both her belief that “being out in a beautiful garden is nicer than sitting in a beautiful room” and her husband’s passion for such stately English flowering landscapes as Hidcote and Sissinghurst. “We planted a million trees,” McCartney told Vogue in 2010, “made another Eden.”

“You know what I was doing this weekend?” asks McCartney. “I was riding my horse barefoot and bareback, with my daughter [Reiley]. It was about as good as it gets.”

On a visit there in 2010 I was intrigued to discover—among the bridle paths, wild meadows, orchards, and Downton-scaled rose gardens and herbaceous borders—a series of reed-filled ponds that turned out to be the McCartney-Willises’ off-the-grid sewage system. “See?” says McCartney with her impish laugh. “Being an environmentalist can be sexy!”

McCartney has been environmentally conscious since childhood. “I was privileged,” she has admitted. “I grew up on an organic farm; I saw the seasons. My parents were vegetarians—they were change agents.” (That childhood idyll is evoked in her late mother, Linda McCartney’s, book The Polaroid Diaries, which also captures the world of McCartney’s American relatives, including her Eastman grandfather, who lunched at the exclusive Maidstone Club and hung de Koonings and Rothkos in his Billy Baldwin–decorated Fifth Avenue drawing room, where the infant McCartney amused herself with Joseph Cornell’s magical shadow boxes, alluringly placed on a child’s-height shelf.)

The great outdoors is also reflected in McCartney’s state-of-the-sustainable-arts London flagship store—which she designed herself, with a soundtrack that includes a three-hour loop of her father, Paul’s, demo tapes along with a Bob Roth meditation in the changing rooms. “The audio is important for me,” she says as she proudly walks me round it, “because it’s obviously such a big part of my upbringing.” There are papier-mâché walls made from “all of the shredded paper from the office,” along with a silver birch grove and a moss-covered rockery of giant granite rocks brought from the 1,100-acre McCartney family farm on Scotland’s Mull of Kintyre. “My personality is this sort of contrast between the hard and the soft, the masculine and feminine,” says McCartney. “I wanted to have life in the store—to bring nature into the experience of shopping,” she explains as she takes me up in the Stellevator to the floor where she fitted the Duchess of Sussex for the glamorous halter-neck dress she wore for the wedding reception following her marriage to Prince Harry. There are also pieces from McCartney’s “All Together Now” Beatles collaboration, inspired by a friends-and-family screening of Yellow Submarine that her father staged on the film’s 50th anniversary. “It just blew my brains because I hadn’t seen it since I was a kid,” she recalls. “It’s astonishing—just mental and so trippy and so childlike and so innocent and so heavy and so meaningful.”

Since McCartney’s 1995 Central Saint Martins graduation show, her brand has been defined by the urgent desire to do away with animal cruelty in the fashion industry. And while, 20 years ago, there were fake furs on the market, the only glues available were animal-based. “I imagine Vikings sitting around a pot, boiling down the last bones of the elk that they skinned for the fur,” says McCartney. “And I think, Wow—we’re still there.” Today McCartney uses renewable energy where it’s available for both her stores and offices; the eyewear she shows me in her store is bi-acetate, and her sneakers are made with biodegradable Loop technology; she uses regenerated nylon, polyester, and cashmere but also works with producers making innovative fashion fibers—building fake fur from sustainable corn fiber, for instance, producing vegan microsilk, and growing mycelium-based “leather.”

“I was always a bit of a freak in the house of fashion,” McCartney says. “My regime, my culture, has been different from day one.” In Paris, where she was appointed creative director of Chloé in 1997, she struggled with the perception that at 26 she was too young and unqualified for the job (“The Beatles wrote Sgt. Pepper when they were 26,” she told Vogue tartly), and her working practice was “totally at odds with the rest of the industry,” as she recalls. Even now, she says, “every single day in our office is this sort of daily challenge—a way of trying to perfect and persist and find realistic solutions within the luxury-fashion sector—and even in a more broadstream way with the collaborations with Adidas [initiated in 2004]. Each day,” she says, “there are questions that I ask that we try to find an answer for. And if we can’t, we’ll try again tomorrow.”

Despite what she refers to as “a lot of resistance,” McCartney turned the Chloé gig (which lasted through the launch of her self-titled brand in 2001) into a triumph, tripling sales. Today, as we march inexorably to global Armageddon, her commitment to cruelty-free fashion and sustainability is fast becoming the industry norm. In recent years, for instance, luxury brands including Gucci, Prada, Michael Kors, Armani, and Chanel have declared themselves fur-free. “I’m hugely relieved,” says McCartney, “but I’m actually astounded that it’s taken so long.”

McCartney now gives scholarships at Central Saint Martins, her alma mater, for students who “adhere to our ethical charter,” and helps young designers navigate the complicated terrain of sustainability. “We’re in the farming industry in fashion,” she says. “We look at the biodiversity and the soil. It’s crazy. It’s basically exhausting. It’s much easier not to do it. So I kind of understand why the world hasn’t quite followed.”

BUT McCartney has far more ambitious goals for expanding her global industry reach. Last year, she bought back full ownership of her label from Kering, 17 years after the group’s then–creative director Tom Ford had urged the company to invest in McCartney’s fledgling brand. Following her move, “people began to show an interest quite quickly,” as McCartney recalls. “I was fortunate enough that Mr. Arnault was one of the people.” She’s speaking, of course, of Bernard Arnault, the all-powerful chairman and chief executive of LVMH, which acquired a minority share in Stella McCartney in July. “I think it’s incredibly exciting. It sends a big, big message to the industry if Mr. Arnault is asking me to be his personal adviser on sustainability at LVMH. I think that was one of the attractions for me—it is a big, timely statement, and hopefully game-changing for all of us.”

McCartney points out that the fashion brands with the biggest environmental impact in terms of scale are “the high-end luxury houses, and then the fast-fashion sector. They have massive impact in a negative way, and they can have a massive impact in a positive way.” These fast-fashion retailers, as she observes, turned from fur far earlier than luxury brands. “They’re more in touch with the youth,” she says, “and what the next generation of consumers actually wants. It’s a given for my children,” she notes, “that you have to show some kind of mindfulness or awareness.” (In recognition of the next generation’s activists, McCartney has launched the Stella McCartney Today for Tomorrow Award—video nominations via Instagram—“to celebrate,” as she says, “a new generation of change agents and eco-warriors under 25 who are kicking ass for Mother Earth.”)

She may have her work cut out for her. A week after our coffee klatch and four days before presenting her spring-summer 2020 show in Paris (“our most sustainable collection ever”), Arnault, addressing an LVMH sustainability event in Paris, called out 16-year-old activist Greta Thunberg for “indulging in an absolute catastrophism about the evolution of the world” in her electrifying appearance at the United Nations summit on climate change. “I find it demoralizing,” he added. It was perhaps no accident that McCartney raced to put together a sustainability panel (no questions, no photographs) of her own on the eve of her show at the Opéra Garnier—a panel that included Extinction Rebellion activist Clare Farrell, the legendary environmentalist and activist Yann Arthus-Bertrand, and author Dana Thomas (Fashionopolis: The Price of Fast Fashion and the Future of Clothes), who noted that “we wear our clothes seven times on average before throwing them away . . . we’re perpetuating this bulimia of buying, using, and throwing away.”

“What we’ve seen over the last few weeks and months,” McCartney said, pointedly, “is children and young people taking action.” The designer also addressed the issue of young activists’ rejecting the idea of consumerism. “If the youth of today stop buying into it,” McCartney added, “then obviously, the people at the top have got to deliver on that.”

Rayon, or viscose, an indispensable fashion fiber, for instance, is created from wood pulp. “This year alone,” McCartney says, “up to 150 million trees have been cut down just for viscose.” McCartney now sources hers from sustainable forests in Sweden. “I’m trying to create something that’s still sexy and desirable and luxurious that isn’t landfill,” she tells me. “Every single second, fast fashion is landfill.”

Does McCartney feel that she’s had an impact on the practices of other brands? “That’s not for me to say,” she demurs. “That would be so unchic of us. But we are a kind of incubator. I have sympathy for how hard it is to shift the massive Titanic ship away from the iceberg,” she says. “We’re a little agile sailboat, and we built the ship. And I think that’s easier than changing something that’s been going in one direction for so long.”

While she was at Kering, the company developed an environmental profit-and-loss tool that assigned a monetary value to environmental impact—something that led to McCartney’s decision (to give just one example) to stop the use of virgin cashmere, a material with 100 times the environmental impact of wool. (It takes four goats to make enough cashmere for a single sweater, resulting in a need for grazing land that has destroyed the steppes of Mongolia and led to desertification and sandstorms in northern China.) Her label now uses regenerated cashmere, made from factory scraps that are shredded and respun into new yarn, and focuses on alpaca (“a much more friendly material”) and traceable wool (four sweaters from one sheep).

McCartney also holds an annual forum for all of her suppliers to talk with them about what her company requires and to share information on recent advances. “A lot of people see change as something scary,” she says, “but the mills are interested in working with innovators.

“I think that in a sense we’re a project,” she adds. “We’re trying to prove that this is a viable way to do business in our industry—and that you don’t have to sacrifice any style or any edginess or coolness in order to work this way. At the end of the day,” she says, “we’re a fashion house trying to deliver on the promise of desirability. Without that, I can’t even have this conversation. So I have to try and find a healthy balance—and doing both jobs is a balance. It’s the same as being a mum. My other ‘family’ is work. And I have to find the balance between this conversation of fashion and the conversation of consciousness—and they have to complement each other.”