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#like its supposed to be their baby years
prapais · 1 year
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what do you think of when you talk about “fort”?
+ bonus: fort’s reaction
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oatbugs · 4 months
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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miniagula · 1 month
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ghouls. is this a safe space. bc i actually really love vaggie and i really really want to love her relationship w charlie but series charlie sometimes makes me want 2 eat drywall in the not-fun way
to tldr it: shit just didn't live up the way i thought it would be lmao
idk what it is that's giving me the bad taste in my mouth but particularly off the dome it's her desire w BEING GOOD and her disdain for hell, the show's pacing, and her inability to stand up for herself? like. why are you apologizing to the angels trying to kill you‼️‼️
sometimes it felt like charlie only rlly cared abt heaven and being good rather than loving her people for what they were, and doesn't seem to mind violence as long as it's undertaken for her own gain. and i don't have a problem with that! i thought they were interesting traits/conflicts that would get some more focus but they. didn't.
and vaggie. i LOVE vaggie so much. i love her design, i love her voice, i love the fallen angel background, i love she has so much love for charlie. ik that last bit is a point of contention for people but i loved it, and i thought all of it would also get more focus and it also didn't
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malk-with-tea · 4 months
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Happy New Year from (some of) the Descarn Crew!
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whatudottu · 2 months
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If I thought the Transformers (Aligned) timeline was convoluted, god the Trollhunters timeline is fucked beyond all hell, and worse of all because they use Merlin - bloody MERLIN - as a character that created the amulet there's an upper limit of time Trollhunters have existed before, heck even Myrddin Wyllt his welsh name (and canonical alternate name in the show), Merlin stops being the Merlin from human myth and starts becoming Merlin a similarly named folkloric character in troll myth-
I wonder if I, a fan coming in at minimum 2023, am arriving to this a little late but- if this isn't going to be a timeline rewrite then let me complain about how specific canonical details contradict with one another, including the glaringly obvious issue of Wizard's addition to the timeline, making Deya the Deliverer the first Trollhunter and thus practically erasing most of the historical Trollhunters or conforming to fit them all in a timeline of 900ish years.
I'll address the elephant in the room when we get to it, but let's set up the basics, both for me and any viewer not already in the know (given that my audience is mostly from transformers and ben 10, I'd say it's a lot of you).
Trolls and humans got off to a bad start, humans living on the surface and trolls having originated from a realm called the Darklands, accessible from a bridge (a gateway) Kilahead bridge. Like with any civilisation there are good and bad trolls, the baddest being Orlagk the Oppressor, leader of the Gumm-Gumms. Having been introduced to the surface, trolls fought with the humans who already lived on it creating the War for the Surface Lands, and their fighting lead the first Heartstone (a gigantic magical gem that serves as the centre of troll caverns, healing them and providing power) to corrupt and birth Gunmar. This war lasted for millennia, Gunmar taking over leadership of the Gumm-Gumms after slaying Orlagk at some vague point, up until the Battle of Kilahead Bridge where the Gumm-Gumms were sealed away in the Darklands again thanks to the Trollhunter Deya the Deliverer.
Okay, sure, that doesn't sound very bad at first, up until you realise that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge was 900 years prior to the series (2016 was it's release date) and thus in the year 1116 AD give or take; the legend of Merlin as a magician, a wizard, was in the 12th century which would've been instead at minimum 1300 AD that's 200 years of difference. Not to mention Angor Rot - a character and antagonist in the show - came begging for magic to stop Gunmar's armies from destroying more and more independant troll tribes, like his own, in 1200 AD at least. Why in the fucking hell would Angor Rot bother to risk his own soul asking for magic, from a sorcerer known as (among many things) the Eldritch Queen, if Gunmar and his Gumm-Gumms were already kept within the Darklands. Gunmar's son Bular, the one Gumm-Gumm to not be banished, is surely not that much of a threat to not one but multiple villages it would send someone to the doorstep of the Pale Lady. In addition, Angor Rot was responsible for killing at least a few Trollhunters, one known and named being Voltar the Voracious, who was the only Trollhunter given an exact year of choosing in 1578. And the fucker is listed BEFORE Deya on the wiki but that alone doesn't mean anything, however she does die in 1620 to Bular, 396 years before the show.
Alright then, so you look at Merlin's mythological existence and go 'now what about the whole thing about millenia' because 12th century doesn't allow the War for the Surface Lands to have a Trollhunter, even with 11 named Trollhunters that come presumably before Deya (Unkar the Unfortunate, despite being trained by Blinky who in human standards - assuming his human body tells us his age - is probably about middle age give or take, fought in the time Gumm-Gumms were still around even if slain by Bular). Given that Trollhunters itself references Merlin's original Welsh name Myrddin (and his in show last name is Ambrosius, which would be Emyrs in the original Welsh, as opposed to Wyllt for 'of the wild), I thought that potentially looking into when Myrddin first came around I would be able to get a better timeline; Myrddin Wyllt was said to have been born - and not just the legend - in 540 AD, which gives between that and 2016 1476 years to work with, allowing the 400ish years ago that Deya died (and the 438 years from when Voltar had the amulet) and the millenia's worth of war the War for the Surface Lands took.
Done deal, right?
Well guess what, some fucker named Spar the Spiteful (not even the first Trollhunter like Deya so proclaims to be) died 5200 years before Jim, our protagonist and first HUMAN Trollhunter, ever picked up the mantle. 5200 years before 2016 is the bloody fucking 4th millenium BC. This period included the beginnings of the Bronze Age, and was the bloody time WRITING was invented! And in Spar's time, there was no DOMESTIC HORSES! HORSE RIDING DIDN'T BLOODY EXIST WHEN SPAR DIED HOW FUCKED IT THAT!?
God FUCKING DAMN IT!
Fine, I can work with this.
Merlin in the show is all the old man we think of him as in myth, but he's also still old when we go back in time to when the Battle of Kilahead Bridge takes place, albeit it without a full head of grey hairs (how does the old man age more than his teen/young adult apprentice) potentially as a young sorcerer/wizard/whatever they use these terms interchangeably, Merlin or Myrddin created the Amulet of Daylight. You could even give more wriggle room between whenever trolls came to the surface and when Merlin made the amulet, because although Orlagk was a figure explicitly older than Gunmar, there is no mention of an amulet without Gunmar simply a time when he was still not a leader. In fact, given that Merlin's original name - Myrddin - came from a riddle designed with the intent to kill Gunmar, a piece informing the Trollhunter teams how to kill Gunmar rather than Orlagk the original leader, perhaps it's befitting to make Myrddin technically younger than the trolls; given that the original purpose of the Amulet of Daylight was not to kill Gunmar but to protect trolls, seeing as how one of the keys to Gunmar's destruction is a Triumbric Stone (one of 3) that resulted in the death of Orlagk, the amulet can date to before Gunmar and have been made after the Gumm-Gumms took out their rage on other trolls instead of humans alone.
The Trollhunter after Spar the Spiteful was Boraz the Bold, named that specifically for taking on 1000 Gumm-Gumms, was killed by Bular who was - as I said - Gunmar's son. While that does not mean that Spar the previous Trollhunter existed before Bular did, it does mean that by the time Boraz was selected after Spar's position Bular was competent enough to slay a Trollhunter, especially one as 'Bold' as Boraz who felled a thousand Gumm-Gumms before falling to 1001. It would mean that his father Gunmar would be much older, potentially tracking further and further back in time and putting Orlagk's death deeper and deeper into the War for the Surface Lands, potentially even aligned Orlagk's death and the Triumbric Stone's creation to a period humans heard of Myrddin, the death of Orlagk potentially landing in 540 AD, perhaps even in 573 AD where an actual battle took place, the Battle of Arfderydd; this details a Riderch Hael, King of Alt Clut (Stratclyde, a Brittonic kingdom in northern... well... Britain, which got annexed in the 11th century AKA 1000 AD to become part of the emerging Kingdom of Scotland) slaughtering the forces of a Gwenddoleu ap Ceidio, Myrddin having gone mad watching that defeat.
The remaining named Trollhunters, ones that weren't explicitly dated and timed, are in a bullshit order on the Wiki that I just have to piece together what is being said to put together a timeline.
Maddrux the Many, he/him in the show and she/her in the comics, was canonically an active Trollhunter before another, Araknak the Agile, was either born or an actual functioning adult; Araknak is the ancestor of the previously mentioned (and assumed to be) middle aged Blinkous Galadrigal and his brother (an older brother or twin depending on who you quote) Dictatious Maximus Galadrigal, the pair being present for the Battle of Kilahead Bridge and still alive by 2016 and idk about Tatious but Blinky appears in 2017 or at least whenever RoTT takes place. To use the term ancestor instead of grandparent or even parent, which technically ancestor can be used on either anyway, means that the exact family history is undetermined. However, we can place Maddrux at the very least on the timeline where Orlagk was still active in, seeing as that was her major enemy in the comics.
At the end of her service instead of going directly to Araknak, a Trollhunter preceded him in Magmar the Molten, the only known mountain troll to be a wielder of Daylight. Interesting to note, Araknak learnt from Magmar a certain combat move so, even before his selection by the amulet Araknak was already preferring the lifestyle of a warrior in comparison to his scholar parents; a trait that outlasted the warrior spirit and descended to the Galadrigals however many years later. Mentioned specifically as preceding not only Araknak but Tellad-Urr, we have another date to place as Tellad-Urr the Triumphant - very soon to be Tellad-Urr the Terrible - was active until 501 CE where Orlagk was still alive; how convientient. It helps that Gogun the Gentle - his immediate successor - would be the only Trollhunter to die of old age, potentially because Gunmar was too busy killing Orlagk and Orlagk too busy being dead for either of them to do anything.
Hopefully Gogun was already an old fart because the oldest recorded troll Chokeenamaga lived to 5352 years and I have no idea if that's slightly above average, notably old, or specific to a troll type (like for example, mountain trolls may have the longest average lifespan of all trollkin), and it's not like I can look at the show for any reference because Draal the Deadly, son of Kanjigar the Couragous and the previous Trollhunter did not age between 900 years yet there are no troll whelps in modern Trollmarket, let alone the fact that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge according to our established Trollhunters could not have happened before 1578 but must have happened between then and 1620. And Draal is an adult in modern day but is rather impulsive and I do not know if that is simply a troll trait or the trait of a twenty something year old that should've had a different design in the past but couldn't because of the limitations of 3D show animation (Prime fans would know or at least see visually that you can't just design a cybertronian version of a bot's root mode without things getting expensive, it's why Skyquake couldn't fly despite looking the same before and after alt mode acquisition).
Speaking of age, this is also the time where Aaarrrgghh!!! was a teenager, which either means that Blinky is actually much younger than Aaarrrgghh!!! or there is another Trollhunter or few between Araknak the Agile and Tellad-Urr the Terrible; 5200 years is a lot of grounds to cover, especially with a Trollhunter dying of age between it. Tellad-Urr has an appearance similar to Kanjigar, and given that it's a book cover rather than a 3D model there may be grounds for him being of the same tribe as Kanjigar if not an ancestor like Araknak to Blinky. It could work give or take, especially since 'ancestor' is less of an official word and more of a footnote for someone's opinion, but it isn't word of god nor anything found in any media.
And keeping with age (last one I promise) Gorgus the Gorgeous, referenced in terms used by modern trolls 'By Gorgus' or 'Great Gorgus', was one of the youngest Trollhunters to be chosen. Whether he was younger than Jim Lake Jr, 16 years old at his time of getting the amulet, depends on what the hell the age of 24 fucking means to a troll. Is it the equivalent of 24 years in troll years? If so then why the hell does he begin training 32 troll years later at age 56 if he wasn't chosen to have the amulet at 24 human years old. What is 24 human years to a troll. NotEnrique, a changeling (troll whelp cursed to change into a human, can do so at will) is canonically a few centuries old, and he is fresh from the Darklands after replacing a human baby Enrique. He at a few centuries old is able to throw and host a troll party at his age, and maybe changeling's age differently and a changeling hosting a troll party would be very new because haha discrimination, but no troll flinches at the concept. And a few centuries could be considered more than 2 (being a few it's already more than 1) so the more centuries you tack on to this college type frat party host the more and more Gorgus' age becomes terrifyingly young like exorbitantly so.
If a few centuries means 'ability to host a party where full grown trolls do keg stands' then 24 probably means whelp, baby, a fucking toddler by troll standards, assuming changelings follow troll aging standards against their human mimicking physical development standards. If a 24 year old Trollhunter is only ONE OF the youngest Trollhunters, who was the youngest? Predestined at bloody birth!? Gorgus started training at age 56, presumably when he was old enough to wield a sword, being trained by none other than Kanjigar himself; Gorgus died during training when a group of Gumm-Gumms attacked, an arrow hitting him in the head. If NotEnrique was an adult, or at the very least on the cusp of it, at a few centuries old - more than 1, probably more than 2 - then what of someone at age 56, less than a few centuries, less than one. Whether Kanjigar was a father at the time or not, loosing a kid under his guidance - to death no less - would've stuck with anyone. Why was this child sentenced to death, and so young too. One can argue all the Trollhunters to failed to live up to legacy, who became their own version of Unkar the Unfortunate, were sentenced to death and fated to die young. Gogun may have defied fate and beat the ticking clock, but Gorgus the Gorgeous - a gorgeous child, a son to parents that will never see their little boy again - proved that there is no outrunning the clock for the bells toll for thee.
If Unkar was before Gorgus, then it is to be presumed that by dying on his first night - after 6 hours of training - that Gorgus the Gorgeous was failed by Blinkous in the same way Unkar had been. The next Trollhunter in line was summoned too soon, so because of Blinky's failure the trolls against Gumm-Gumms were without a defender, potentially reducing the remaining candidates for better trainers by slaughtering them before the Trollhunter was of age. If Unkar was after Gorgus, then Kanjigar needed to step away from training, even as it was his task given to the aging elder Rundle, potentially a younger but very busy Vendel, an elder by proxy of everyone else dying on the edges of Gumm-Gumm blades. He couldn't sacrifice another child to death, and as the amulet falls onto the arrogant overconfident Unkar, Kanjigar could not bare to have stone dust on his hands again. Blinkous Galadrigal (there is no mention of Dictatious despite the presence of Gumm-Gumms in Unkar's time) is tasked to train Unkar, to teach him the tennants of Trollhunter and put to good use his scholarly teachings and pray that the soul of his Trollhunter ancestor guides him. Unfortunately - as Unkar will be enshrined in by title - you cannot let a scholar do a warrior's duty.
However way it plays out, Blinky was young (or at least younger), and his failure marked his reputation for centuries.
There is a Grimbald the Grave, trained with Kanjigar AND Deya, which would definitely place that before 1620 and potentially before 1578; Voltar wasn't mentioned to have been trained by either, but given that he was the last Trollhunter before Deya (at the very least in close proximity), Grimbald most likely came before. Now this seems like a non-issue, if you consider Grimbald against our timeline nothing seems to be wrong, potentially Kanjigar's age since he's been around for a while but his son's an adult in the modern day so he could potentially be older than Blinky who knows. But I have an elephant to address and since it's been so long since I brought it up it's been drinking tea this whole time.
Wizards, the third installment of the Tales of Arcadia series, sequel to Trollhunters, introduces to audiences that Deya the Deliverer was originally Callista the Calamity, a troll who's tribe had been wiped out by humans and had been living in human custody since she was a whelp (or of an age that she had forgotten her name). Deya makes the timeline such a mess, because her first appearance in the comics, she was of an age where Rundle - Vendel's father - was the elder of Glastonbury Tor Trollmarket at the time of Deya, the Trollmarket before Dwoza which is the Trollmarket before Arcadia. Rundle was around in 501 AD, but it was his father Kilfred who was the elder and his son Vendel was of age enough to help in consulting, however old that is. In Wizards however, Vendel was the elder of Dwoza before Deya was Deya and when Callista was still an outcast, and even then he was only the elder by proxy, signs of his father Rundle or of Kilfred missing. Of course however Rundle could have been elder of Dwoza, as his father before him was elder of Glastonbury Tor, simply that he was potentially slain potentially died of old age and that Vendel being one of the few older than most of the Dwozan trolls took over in his father's stead.
The issue with Deya is that I really like the Callista part of her backstory, of being an outsider, an outcast, in the world of trolls that still hated humanity but held a deeper fear of the Gumm-Gumms. Diaspora for trolls, Callista the Calamity is seen as a human pet despite her wanting to find her way home, a home she can never go back to because it had been destroyed long ago; the one place that she could be accepted don't because they see her as too human, a far cry to being called a monster by humans but certainly not relieving. But she had become Deya, and found her footing as the Deliverer, by turning the Trollhunter from a single force to fighting alone to rallying a bunch of... gravellors? (Whatever, I like to think of Dwoza as essentially a refugee tribe given it's diversity in comparison to the Krubera tribe who are only krubera and the Quagawump tribe who are only - save for the generic troll king Angor killed - quagawumps) to fight one last fight against the Gumm-Gumms and ending the War for the Surface Lands.
...SO... that probably means that Grimbald was trained exclusively by Kanjigar after the whole Unkar and/or Gorgus ordeal and eventually got the Trollhunter's amulet himself when Deya was slain, her sacrifice delivering the migrating trolls of Dwoza a chance to get to the New World (or the Americas). Oh and their migration was after Vendel and some king wrote a truce called 'The Pact', which - I mean - it's described as a feeble truce and with a name like that I don't blame it, where they promise to stop eating humans and limited their diet to cats and used clothes which well- they might've broke on the journey to the New World because hiding in the cramped ballast of a 1600s era boat isn't fun nor is it fast. But regardless-
I think for a sense of cohesion, let me pull out an almost timeline for this post.
Trolls who had previously been in the Darklands somehow get to the surface
Tensions between trolls and the already present humans grows beginning the War for the Surface Lands
The intensity of the war corrupts the first Heartstone, giving birth to Gunmar
A young wizard Myrddin creates the Amulet of Daylight and gifts it to the good trolls
Spar the Spiteful gets the amulet. He dies 5200 years ago
Boraz the Bold gets the amulet. He dies to Bular, Gunmar's son.
Maddrux the Many gets the amulet
Magmar the Molten, the first mountain troll Trollhunter, gets the amulet
Araknak the Agile, ancestor to Blinkous and Dictatious Galadrigal, gets the amulet
Tellad-Urr the Triumphant, turned Tellad-Urr the Terrible, gets the amulet. He is killed in 501 AD
Gogun the Gentle gets the amulet.
Orlagk the Oppressor is slain by Gunmar. Gunmar loses an eye
Gogun dies of old age.
Angor Rot makes a pact with the Pale Lady, trading his soul for her magic
Unkar the Unfortunate gets the amulet. He dies 6 hours later
Gorgus the Gorgeous, one of the youngest Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies at age 56
Grimbald gets the amulet
Voltar the Voracious, born of two minds, gets the amulet in 1578. He dies to Angor Rot and his soul is stolen
Deya the Deliverer, previously Callista the Calamity, gets the amulet
The Battle of Kilahead Bridge is fought. Gunmar is defeated and the Gumm-Gumms (+ Dictatious Galadrigal) are trapped in the Darklands
Deya dies against Bular, last remaining Gumm-Gumm on the surface, in 1620
Kanjigar the Couragous, trainer of many Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies to Bular in 2016
James Lake Junior gets the amulet, and the events of the series take place
So, members of the Trollhunter fandom, how'd I do? If you stuck around this long, welcome to my gimmick, long posts :)
Hoo boy how should I tag this?
#trollhunters#toa#rambling#headcanon#idk this is a timeline rewrite but not a rewrite yaknow#like i'm interested in what the book timeline might have to offer#but idk#this took me several hours to write#give or take 4 hours maybe#not every trollhunter in the history of trollhunting is named because not every trollhunter has been listed#and kanjigar is only noted as the trainer of trollhunters because he's the one trollhunter to have experience with trollhunting i suppose#also- its one thing to have longevity as a species (i come from the transformers fandom those robots are fucking old)#it's another to have fathers and ancestors and dying of old age without considering how that shit works#like the oldest lived troll is in the 5 thousands right? is it the equivalent of 100 years old for humans?#like is the typical age of an elder troll 4000? is it just as likely they might cark it at 3000?#that's 80 and 60 in human terms- maybe the common age of an elder troll is 3500 at a human 70 equivalent#24 years in comparison to 5000 years is like a 6 month old human baby#56 compared to 5000 is 1 year old but surely that is not the case#trolls are apparently born egg-like... as egg-like taking a piece of each other literally and putting them together as one object#that eventually hatches into a troll whelp is egg-like... the parts i mean are heartstones which i think are hearts#draal is described to have hatched this way with ballustra and kanjigar splitting their heartstones#what the hell are gronknuts then meta answer kicking people between the legs is integral to kid comedy#okay i'm going to stop looking at my screen i don't have a mirror but my eyes feel like they're red
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marble-magnolias · 7 months
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this morning i woke up and felt the urge to draw these three together for no real reason other than they mainly work as healers in their respective games and also thinking they could get along. maybe. somehow.
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12u3ie · 1 year
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I love being one of the only people still wearing a mask at school. At home. I caught it in February of this year. "That just proves masks don't work that well," my mother says. Perhaps, but perhaps it's the dozens upon dozens of people around me who don't wear masks in a building with no ventilation because of the cold? One can only wonder.
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crplpunkklavier · 11 months
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why does flashback gavin brothers fanart always have klavier looking like an elementary school kid and kristoph looking like a full adult with a mortgage i feel like you guys really overestimate what a 7 year sibling age gap looks like
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sharkjumpers · 2 months
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
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good-beans · 8 months
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Thank you for the tag @amugoffandoms ! These are so fun :3
Last Song I Listened To: Baba Yaga by Nilfruits, it's got such a cool vibe and I've been a bit obsessed lol
Currently Watching: Wynona Earp! it's my partner's favorite show so she's been showing it to me. I love it, and we'll actually be watching a season finale tonight 👀
Currently Reading: I'm taking a gothic literature class starting this week, so I'll be starting The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole real soon!
Current Obsession: uh YEAH Milgram as well 😂
Tagging @sharkyboye, @bunnyboybosom, @tokyogruel, @jayfeatherss, @blueepink07, @shiikiyun, @waivyjellyfish and @captainstrawberrywings -- No pressure and also if anyone else wants to do it!
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nytfythfhtyf · 7 months
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i start work today
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whatqueen-wildcats · 11 months
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!!
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termagax · 8 months
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i cant post the full of these until tommorow but bweeeeeee isnt he so cuteness
#did this comic relatively fast for me and i like about 50% of it#which. its getting posted tommorow morning so yknow itll have to do#experiencing one of those 'idk how to draw this without it looking bad' 'guess itll just have to look bad :sunglasses:' moments#BUT i think these expressions are cute and theyre more in line with what i want to be doing in general anyways? pushing it in a#direction i feel like ive struggled with before. i like cartoon overbites though i think theyre so adorable. maybe this is just what growin#up on the simpsons does to a motherfucker. anyways#my boyfie. baby style#trying to decide in my head how old i actually want him to be in some of theseeeee#because iirc. again im not going to check. the new official timeline puts him at being 20#but the way I had the timeline before in my MIND. he wouldve been a little older. not so much but like. 26-28 yk.#and fish wouldve been closer to 20-22#which idk i think its a little bit different of a dynamic to have 28-20 instead of two 20 year olds. so it would change things#but also i just idk i dont think him being that young works with how they talk about him pre-wasteland in. any of the official stuff#its just because he has terminal old man disease i think but like. idk i feel like even 28 is too young but thats like as far as i feel goo#squishing the junkertown timeline down to#and even then i think. that it breaks ? something else?#ive never done the maths but i think it breaks junkrat. because hes supposed to have been born in like. a more or less fully formed#junkertown? and with jq in charge for like. half of his life.#this part of the timeline doesnt work anyways#it barely works with the official read#theres not really a good way to have my cake (older boyfriend) and it eat too (everything else makes sense in my mind)#🐟
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soullessjack · 9 months
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every day I remember that this fandom simply does not care about autistic people and, much like every other fucking thing I experience as an autistic person, the concept of it being a collective found family becomes increasingly alien to me. love this place.
#we really just can’t win I fucking hate it here#like this is my special interest. this is my community. I’ve met so many people through it that ended up becoming lifelong friends#I’ve been here for almost ten years and it’s meant everything to me for ten years. it’s kept me going through so much shit.#it’s more than just a show and more than just a fandom and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever been apart of#and like I didn’t realize I was autistic until like late 2021. I didn’t even realize SPN was my special interest until then either#I didn’t realize JACK was my special interest. but knowing that he is autistic means so much to me#and its meant so much to other autistic ppl in the fandom. somebody at MomentoCon even mentioned it to Alex last weekend for fucks sake .#it’s real and it’s special and it’s important to us but#but no we can’t have that. make him a fucking baby. toss every interesting thing about his character into a fucking volcano#and relegate him to being a fucking prop for everybody else.#I don’t know how else to tell you this but you are literally infantilizing an autistic person. you are being ableist. intentionally or not.#and the way you all seem to just. idk. double down on your own ableism? or excuse it?#or literally ignore autistic ppl who try to point out how ableist and weird your behavior towards an autistic character is?#it’s a lot of things. it’s so many terrible things and terrible feelings. but above all it’s disheartening.#it hurts to know that even in this space where everyone is family and everyone belongs. I’m still on the outside looking in.#I’m still not /really/ a part of everything else. it’s a horrible feeling and I don’t wish anyone to ever go through with it#but maybe you fucking should. maybe then you’d realize what you’re doing. or maybe you won’t. maybe I’m screaming into the void again.#which I literally always am w this topic anyways. nothing but screaming into a vast empty void that’s supposed to be my big special family#but whatever I guess.#spn#supernatural#spn fandom#spn family#spn famdom#jack kline#autistic jack kline#tfw2.0#destiel#sam and dean#castiel
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Why do people like. Make me feel weird about being attracted to people my own age. Like I’m 24 and I’ll say that someone who’s like 22-26 is cute (anyone younger than like 21 is probs a no for me) and people will be like um they look like a fucking child you freak. Like sorry not everyone I’m attracted to looks like someone’s parent? Sorry I wanna feel worthy of people in my age group being into me too? I’m in college and want the life experience of having partners who are also in college? But then when I have partners who are 30+ people tell me I’m a victim. Why is everyone so ready to make trans and disabled ppl feel creepy for not just being fuckin ace I don’t get it WHO am I supposed to like
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