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ohshitmomitsawritingblog · 4 years

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Yeesss an active Naruto account! So glad I found you 💗 I really like how you portrayed Kakashi in your last post and I would like to request J, O and Y for Kakashi and Hidan pls 💕

Yeaahhhhh!! nart fandom is still going strong even in 2020! I started to re-read nart back in November of ‘19 and was really surprised at how active the fandom still was on twitter and tumblr. Im really glad you decided to shoot me a message! I really appreciate it, thank you so much! I’ll be real I saw your message and kind of lost it a little today, I was very nervous about Kakashi’s section so it’s really nice to hear that someone liked it!

Kakashi

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealous? Kakashi? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes? No! Maybe. 💕

Kakashi DOES NOT know how to function 80% of the time. It takes him a while to sort out his personal feelings - he thinks he knows what he feels, but when it comes to emotions, like jealousy, that demand a bit more naunce? It feels like fog is clouding over the word he’d otherwise be able to plainly zero in on.

Kakashi’s jealousy is quiet and something he fiercely keeps under wraps. I think there’s nothing that matters more to him in a relationship than his partner’s freedom and sense of self esteem, and I think he views jealousy as a kind of ownership/overstep he should be ashamed of rather than a human emotion that is neither inherently good nor bad by itself.

Kakshi gets jealous rarely, but when he does, it’s hard to swallow the feeling of shame that accompanies it.

Kakashi is a prodigy, okay, he’s an amazing ninja and cook and house keeper amongst many other things, but he’s still really, really bad at the nuances of being human. Especially a human who isn’t ruled by his PTSD. His S/O spends too much time at work during his rare off day, and the rare pang of jealousy - that he does not act on in any way - makes him so uncomfortable that he has to busy himself with something until they get home. And then he almost seems stand offish. It’s his way of giving them space, but his S/O couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it unless they spend years with him or have several conversations about it.

Basically, he’s spent so much of his life truly alone, socializing largely in a work environment context, that he has no idea how to operate in a domestic relationship.

On the flip side, Kakashi is so hellbent on hammering down the little every day pangs of petty jealousy he feels that when something big happens, like a stranger flirting with his S/O? He sticks his nose into the situation immediately.

If it wasn’t sad it’d almost be hilarious - Kakashi can’t tell the difference the difference between situational, and relatively minor emotional bangs that feel similar to jealousy, to outright being DEEPLY territorial of his S/O.

Does he think they’ll flirt back? Hell no. Does he immediately chase off the guy with a well timed arm slung over his S/O’s shoulders and a bit of killing intent rolling off him in waves anyways? Absolutely.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Kakashi in love doesn’t show that he’s in love often. He’s a secretive guy and honestly, if he’s in love, he’s going to try to hide it as long as possible. From everyone.

This is only partially because Kakashi is shy about love - about 60% of the reason behind keeping things private is because he wants to hit that sweet ten year anniversary date and throw that fact out casually during a group luncheon and see the chaos unfold.

He also does legitimately struggle with being open and intimate. He worries his S/O will think he’s embarrassed by them, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kakashi in love is all about small intimacies. The brush of his fingers over his S/O’s bicep, the touch to the small of their back. Kakashi is surprisingly handsy, even in public.

Of course, he’s a ninja, and he’s a little self conscious, so he usually does this in such a way that people don’t even catch it.

He doesn’t hold hands in public, no way.

He never lets them walk on his blind side. He just likes looking at them.

I can see Kakashi liking to touch his S/O’s hair often. He’ll pat the top of their head if they’re on the shorter side, tucking a stray lock behind their ear if their hair is long enough. There’s something so intimate about it, and Kakashi likes how quiet that touch feels to him. Sometimes it feels even better than kissing his S/O.

He picks them up from work most days, and they walk home together. In fact, the biggest tell that Kakashi is in love is when he spends most of his evenings with his S/O.

He cooks for, or more typically, with, his S/O almost every night. He likes spending quality, domestic time with them. It’s his way of slowly wading back into the very concept of cohabiting with someone after years of being alone.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Kakashi misses his partner a lot. I’m going to assume the most common reason for their separation is missions.

Kakashi as a young adult seemed married to his ANBU career, with his S/O as a side chick at best.

Post team seven, he’s a little better with his schedule, but Tsunade relies on him a lot and it’s not like he can just tell her no.

And then as Hokage? Well, actually sneaking out of the office seems to be like a fun new game to him, so–

Anyways, I think Kakashi copes pretty well, if only because separation is a constant in his life.

I think he has times where he’ll space out thinking about his S/O in the wee hours of the night when he can’t sleep. Otherwise, he’s focused on the mission. He needs to make it out of his assignments alive in order to see them again after all, and Kakashi post team seven doesn’t have a death wish.

If he has an S/O during his ANBU days, his thoughts are more obsessive, fixated on the only source of warmth in his life that he’s allowed himself to have. I can imagine a few scenarios when he’s with someone in this very dark period of his life, and the entire thing could only be described as intense.

Anyways, pining is for people who can afford to get stabbed.

Ultimately, I don’t think anyone could ever tell Kakashi was missing anyone. He may seem a little quietly sad in moments, or maybe sigh for no reason, but I doubt anyone even knows he’s with anyone for years. See the above section.

Hidan

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Surprisingly, I don’t see Hidan as a jealous guy!

If he is jealous at all, it’s over something minuscule and ultimately harmless, like being apart for a large gap of time.

He doesn’t think his S/O would cheat (he’s a man devoted to god and his faith, has a blooming career AND a six pack, what more could a person want?) but it’s more so longing that turns into jealousy only when he toys with the idea of his S/O not feeling the same kind of longing. He wants his partner to mirror his feelings and doesn’t like feeling like his absence is easily glossed over. He totally gets into his own head and overthinks things.

He’s the type to gripe at his S/O. I feel like whining and slinging around insults is how Hidan communicates best and it gets even worse when he feels threatened or anxious.

He actually needs verbal reassurances a lot.

He’ll keep bitching until his S/O consoles him or speaks frankly with him.

I think Hidan’s partner is someone who could take care of themselves, so if they were ever the subject of unwanted attention, Hidan would step only to play up some white knight fantasy gone rogue. He’ll beat up (or murder) the offender and then make out with his S/O like some horny wild man.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Hidan in love is actually pretty low key. I think for Hidan, there’s flings, and then there’s the person he loves, who he’s gonna settle down with. He just assumes his life will be full of flings that are mostly for sexual gratification until he meets his S/O.

Totally does not expect to fall in love, ever, so he has no idea how to deal with it when it happens.

I think he prays a lot more when he’s in love. For spiritual clarity or forgiveness for these ‘weak’ feelings in him that presumably conflict with the teachings of Jashin, I’m not sure.

Kakuzu notices this and bitches at Hidan for wasting their time, but eventually stops when even he realizes how much conflict Hidan seems to radiate off of him in the early days of his romance.

Hidan also gets more violent, as if to compensate for being in love with his S/O. He goes on a straight up killing spree once he completely admits it to himself.

Comes to the conclusion that being in love actually makes him a better follower of Jashin, since he slaughters droves of people for the sake of your relationship.

Around his S/O, Hidan seemingly goes from incredibly tense and broody -almost guilt ridden in some odd way - when he hangs out with them, to something flipping a switch in his head and him going back to his normal, brash self. It’s weird. He kiss his S/O like he’s trying to eat them in public now. It’s kind of hot.

Hidan is such a freak that even the Akatsuki, which is a collection of freaks, don’t get that this entire slow burn horror movie scenario was over love until Hidan very loudly complains that he was interrupted mid-fuck during a summons. Someone mentions paying the sex worker extra for the interrupted time and tells him to get some ice.

Hidan scuffs and loudly announces that he’s with his PARTNER right now. Kakuzu confirms but only sounds mildly annoyed because he’a eating Hidan’s S/O’s food and watching Hidan’s S/O’s TV.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Hidan pouts. So much.

Typically if it’s just a few weeks or days, Hidan doesn’t really give any outward indication of missing his S/O. He knows he’ll see them soon. He’s a chill guy when he’s not murdering people for pleasure and religious clout. The longer that gap of time is though? He goes from ambivalent to mess FAST.

It’s like someone flipped a switch after month three of his not seeing his S/O and someone brings them up and he’s like. Wait. When’s the last time I saw them again? And then his brain fuzzes out of existence momentarily when he does the math.

For real: Hidan is one of those guys who tries to be real macho about his S/O and him being apart for so long, but once he starts to think about it it eats him up.

He goes from trying too hard to insist he doesn’t miss them, to sulking on day two. Kakuzu wants to kill Hidan at least 200% more than usual because when Hidan sulks, he’s like a little kid.

He gets this sour look that just never goes away. He hunches his shoulders. Kicks the dirt or gravel on the road when they stop to rest for the day. Kakuzu would be inclined to ask what’s wrong but he knows better to open that can of worms.

Also does he really care about this undead shithead kid’s emotional problems? Only kind of.

He’s a ninja, not a therapist, and he’s making ninja money. Does Hidan have therapist money? Hidan doesn’t even have shirt money.

The pouty phase lasts for a while. It becomes less apparent, but as it turns inwards, Hidan becomes more violent.

Ahh, good ol’ Murder-violence! He gets more aggressive (if that’s possible) and prays more. Way more.

On a more serious note, it does actually give Hidan solace to pray and affirm that if Jashin wills it, he and his S/O will see each other soon. He promises his Lord a plentiful sacrifice when that happens.

Once he sees his S/O again he pretends like he’s totally chill absolutely chill and didn’t even miss them one bit! He ruffles their hair and gives them that rough side hug that jocky, slightly redneck older cousins give.

#praisingkuroosbedhead #kakashi x oc #kakashi x reader #hidan x oc #hidan x reader #hidan imagines #kakashi imagines #naruto imagines #i hope hidan is okay ive never written for him before #it got a little silly and weirdly detailed but i had fun #Hidan is a hoot #fluff alphabet #kakashi hatake #hidan

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nobody-knose--archive · 3 years

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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

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icanttakethemonmyown · 2 years

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I FUCKIN KNEW IT!!!

I was re-reading a few chapters and there was one where you had written something about a box behind a book, and I had just thought that it was the memory box.

Also, for "tax purposes" fair reason to get married. Not at all because he wants to officially introduce Sam as his 'wife' (but we all lowkey know that when Sam talks about Andrew, she does introduce him as her wife. Cannot explain, I just know).

Also, I love how our Tom and Daphne scenarios wormed their way in their. Excellent job, Miss Anje.

Also, I need financial compensation for Daphne having Andrew and Sam at an academic conference because I just know as soon as Daphne raised the camera, Andrew moved out of the way so that it would just be Sam in the picture and she reprimanded him saying she wanted it to be of both of them.

And Andrew only telling Tom because we all know that Daphne has many strengths, but keeping secrets is not one of them.

I am sad that we won't get to see these characters as often, but I know that I can always send you asks and maybe you'll be kind to us occasionally and drop a one-shot without warning.

This also just makes room for the enemies to lovers plot just saying👀👀👀👀👀 (kidding. Please don't feel pressured. Unless you absolutely want to👀👀👀👀👀)

Excellent as always darling!!!

im sorry this ask took me so long to get to but its literally because i want to keep it in my ask box forever! i keep coming back to it and rereading bc it is just such a lovely message start to finish ❤

ill be putting the rest of my answer below the cut bc its gonna be a long one, but that is what you deserve, anon, an entire essay response 🥰

DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE BOX HINT, i was sat here for like days afterwards waiting for someone to ask about it and nobody did but luckily it was there for me to refer back to when i bring up foreshadowing! also the fact that you said you reread chapters 💕💝💖💞💘💗💓 my heart grew a thousand sizes, that is like one of the biggest compliments you could've given me, truly!!

Andrew is literally fooling no one with that tax purposes" cover up, he just wants to make borat jokes at all the fancy functions (and also my headcanon is that the day sam discovers the term "malewife", like the manipulate mansplain malewife thing, is the day her life is changed forever)

and i can't thank you enough for our tom and daphne brainstorm sessions, i literally went back and looked for them while i was writing bc i couldn't remember all of the backstories we came up with hahaha but i hope i did them justice in your eyes! (also andrew stepping out of photos is something i never thought about but honestly SO TRUE ANON, our humble king)

this is an under the cut exclusive, so lean in: i was legitimately thinking of randomly dropping a one-shot one of these days bc i have like a two-thirds written chapter that isn't going to fit into the narrative anymore, but i still wanna share it bc it makes me giggle! its about sam meeting andrews friends for the first time and they have like an impromptu karaoke night and sam serenades andrew, fun times!

bestie, don't think ive forgotten about enemies to lovers sam and andrew 👀👀 oh no no no, how could i!! i don't know when it will be done, but i promise its coming along!!

thank you once again for this lovely, lovely message! you've made my week, anon! i hope you are doing well, i miss hearing from youuuu ❤

#no words can describe what this ask means to me #i love it so much #also i forgot to add in my original answer:#how are we feeling about graduation!!#i have various ideas for it so if anyone sees this #ask me about it!! i want audience input about how i should present it #bc the current idea is to write about each eras graduation #like undergrad - masters - and then modern day with them as professors at their students' graduations #does that make sense??#ANYWAYS #thats enough from me #anon you are the best #i hope you are having an absolutely breathtaking week!#prof!hoz #asks

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sapph-mik · 3 years

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I know you said seeing these posts hurt but I have one more thought. I really hope that out of all of my posts this is the one you see.

You seemed more like yourself in our conversation. You seemed like the girl I knew. The girl I love. I don’t think I won’t ever love you.

I left that conversation feeling way better. Im sorry I doubted you. I should have known my faith in you was never in vain. I’m sorry. I’m glad we are trying to end things on a good note. They feel like it. Your father was right. Sometimes good relationships end. And maybe now we just transition into friends — not until winter break, I know. I’m really happy with how that phone call went, and I’m sorry you were so hesitant to have it.

I know I can be manipulative and cruel and mean and straight up a bitch. So I don’t blame you for being hesitant. But I hope you remember everything I told you. Because I truly meant it. If you ever need a reminder, just send me a text. I’d never turn you away for coming to me for something you need. I think you’ll forever be my weakness.

It was good to hear that your chest was legitimately hurting just like mine. I think with that conversation I can start to heal. And I don’t need to grieve the loss of a friend. Just the loss of my lover. One less thing to be sad about.

Maybe it’s bad of me to say but I am excited for winter break. I promise I will be healing, not waiting for you. But I genuinely think we can do this — being friends. And maybe winter break won’t be enough time, and that’s okay. You know there is never any pressure from me. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like there was.

I’m glad to hear that you’re also sad about losing another family. I feel the same way. I adore your parents and your little brother. I hope he knows I was waiting to hear where he applied to school and was excited to hear where he got in. I hope your parents know that I love their precious daughter with all of my heart.

While to me this was out of the blue, to you it wasn’t. And I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. But I genuinely hope that you figure it all out. I hope you have exciting endeavors and do all that you wish and dream for.

I’m also glad to hear that your gut reaction to my question wasn’t “no,” I won’t wait around but I wouldn’t ever be opposed to trying again. Maybe right person wrong time really is a thing. Maybe it’s not. Maybe we are just meant to be friends.

One thing I am sure of, is how I feel about you.

Another thing I am sure of, is that because of how I feel about you, I want you in my life. One way or another. I promise I won’t wait around, but it’s not like I’m going to go out and find somebody else in the span of a few months. I need to heal and process and grow from this heartbreak. I won’t lie, I am still heartbroken but I am better than I was.

I’ll be sure to tell my family that you are sorry and that you still love them and that it was so hard for you to do this. I’ll tell you now they’re very upset but you know that I will still defend you to them. They’re just being protective of me. They’ll come around, they care too much about you to not.

I hope you get everything you want in this life. I hope I get to be a part of your big adventure — eventually. Whether it is platonic or not. I will try my best to not hope for more than platonic. But I can’t promise anything.

It was so healing to know that it wasn’t because you fell out of love with me. I know that I said some hurtful things but when there is so much noise I didn’t know what to think. I was terrified that my friends were right. But now I know that it wasn’t out of the blue for you. I now know that you did this because you love me. Because you want what is best for me. Because you want to be fair to me.

While I have differing opinions about going about these big hard things, I still respect your decision. And hearing your reasoning made it hurt less. I thought maybe you just didn’t care anymore. But it’s the complete opposite of what I thought. It’s because you care. You cared enough to not make me endure a bad relationship. We were so good. And you wanted both of us to remember that. You wanted to be with me, you just can’t right now. And as hard as it is for me to accept that, it’s okay.

I’m not mad. I’m still slightly confused but I got a lot of answers to my questions. I know I’m going to be hurting for a long time. But thank you for letting me change our plans of a talk in 10 days to today. I didn’t want to start to heal and then have a conversation and be right back at square one. I’m really happy you sounded like yourself. I could feel your emotion and intent. I recognized the girl I fell in love with.

You are always going to hold a place in my heart. I know that is so cliché and cheesy but you taught me so much. You taught me what a good, healthy, loving relationship is. I will forever be thankful for that. I’m not ready to move on, and I don’t think I will be for a while. I promise I won’t be waiting around (intentionally). Thank you for showing me how good love can be. How pure and safe it can be. I’m going to miss you so much. And I hope you miss me too. I hope you’re also excited for winter break and the possibilities it may bring. But I’m okay if you aren’t ready then.

I won’t lie, I am scared you’ll meet a really great girl and fall in love with her but that’s neither here nor there. Fuck that was the one thing I wanted to share but forgot. Regardless, I’m going to hold so much love for you. I know so many people say that they can still be friends to their past lovers but I hope you meant it. I meant it. I know we both need time away in order to make this platonic.

Thank you for knowing that I might not be perfect and I might slip up and text you. But thanks for telling me that you’ll treat it as a journal entry from me to you. I’m glad that we agreed that we will only talk between now and winter break if we felt like world war 3 was about to break out between us. That made me feel like you really do want to be friends. That was something I loved so much about our relationship, was we weren’t just lovers. You legitimately were my best friend. You were the person I turned to when I needed someone. You were the person I went to when I thought something was funny. When I wanted someone to pass the time with, enjoy their presence. It was a major bonus that you happened to also be my girlfriend.

Thank you for making the time for me today. I really needed it. Now it’s time for me to start healing. I don’t think I’ll be perfectly fixed in a week or a month, but maybe I’ll be a little better. I hope you start to feel better soon too. I secretly hope you slip up and text me. But I know you, you are strict rule follower. That was something I always admired about you, the fact that you can stick to your guns regardless of what you actually want to do.

I hope you stay what we consider to be “you healthy,” I hope that if your illnesses do flare up that you have the resources and good friends to take care of you. I hope the next crash is not nearly half as bad as the last one. I hope little Beau doesn’t forget me. I know he secretly liked me. I hope he still enjoys the toys. I hope his teeth are still being cleaned 3 days a week. And I hope your brushing of his teeth is paying off.

I am always here. Quietly waiting in the background if you need me. If you need a friend, a laugh, or someone to listen. Or maybe you’ll figure it all out and come back. But I won’t count on that part. The only thing I will let myself hold out hope for — is for there to be friendship between us.

One last time: I love you. All of you. For you. I adore every part of you. And I’m actually really really proud of the fact that you are doing something that is taking care of yourself. I know you’re such a people pleaser, and this decision could not have been an easy one. But thank you for everything, Alyssa.

#lovers to friends #lgbt #heartache #I’m going to be okay

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jungle321jungle · 4 years

Text

The Origin Of Chaos

Have some of my original writings cuz why not im tired and bored and gots nothing better to do. This thing is the start to a long wip i have.

~~~~~

One of her hands was around his neck, but it seemed to be there more to control him than to hurt. Her grip was tighter than he’d like, but given the fear in her eyes he couldn’t blame her. Her other hand held his hands rubbing her thumb over the back of them. His mother’s eyes were wild with worry and fear so he didn’t dare ask what was going on. Rather he focused on the feeling of the water around him. It was cool but not cold thankfully, his mother knew he hated when his baths were too cold, or maybe it was a habit he had picked up from his sister. Despite her age she would throw fits, refusing to get in the basin and he would sit and watch their mother go after her like some kind of game. It had been fun to him, but now he knew it would never happen again.

His gaze flickered up to his mother’s but she didn’t appear to be seeing him. Her eyes drifted around their room as she kept on alert for reasons he did not know, but prayers spilled from her lips continuously as she did. He caught the name of the goddess Meryu within her words, but everything else had fallen on deaf ears. Despite his position Father didn’t like his children to learn of the gods, he pretended though. A great many of times he had watched his father’s wives lead prayers, and place hands over the common blooded. He had heard of his Father letting them send the accused to the Soolyeri, but he never did himself. Perhaps that was the reason that a week ago Mother had brought him before the Soolyeri under the cover of night.

But that didn’t explain why the Women of the Temple hadn’t killed him.

It was rare an accused left their presence alive, because all with magic were supposed to succumb to their sins. Perhaps Father had spoken to them long ago, told them to leave his children to him. But even as King, he only had so much power over the Soolyeri. Regardless of why he was glad to be alive, the Soolyeri had poisoned him with fear and dread, something Father always said a Prince wasn’t to ever express- legitimate or not.

“Jahai?”

He let his thoughts fall away into the cool water as he gave his mother his attention.

Her eyes were wet with unshed tears as she spoke. “I love you. I truly do. You know that right?”

He gave a nod. “I love you too.”

“And I want you to know that I’m sorry,” she continued. “I will not have you end up like Ye-Yelsny... your sister deserved life and more as do you, but I will not let you become your Father’s child.”

“Mother-”

“This is a time to listen not to speak,” she told him, but he noticed her voice was missing the usual irritation that came with scolding him.

“You’re wise beyond your years, Jahai.” Her voice was quiet and as tears began to fall from her face, Jahai’s focus shifted to the other sounds around them. To the sound of what sounded like armored footfalls, he opened his mouth to tell her as such but she spoke before he could. “And I’m sorry to rob you of them.”

One hand was on his throat, and it was shoving him underwater. He gasped in surprise water filling his mouth and he felt as some involuntarily went down his throat. Her other hand had pinned his hands to his chest and she had used his shock as an opportunity to maneuver herself into the basin- her weight keeping his legs where they were. But it didn’t stop him from trashing. His lungs ached as he tried to push back with his arms, her solution was to press harder on him. His lungs were burning now- as was his throat and nose as water rushed in. He gagged on it only succeeded in taking in more water. He wanted to cry, to scream, to shout, to live, but Mother had made her choice when she had taken him to the Soolyeri. In her mind he may as well already be dead.

White light was encasing him. Hovering over him like a cocoon. His magic was trying his best but without air it could do no healing. It was just slowing his death. The darkness was creeping at the edges of his vision as he was forced to look up at his mother’s distorted but determined face. So he let go of his fight. He let go of his magic. Rather he just stared into his mother’s eyes hoping to burn the image of him staring back into her memory. So she could fully enjoy this sin she usually rebuked.

“Do you want to die?”

He wasn’t sure where the voice had come from, was it his own thought or was he being asked?

“Do you want to die?”

As it sounded the second time he answered, “No.”

“I can save you,” came the voice- a woman’s voice. “I can save you if you let me.”

“I can’t be saved.”

“You can.”

“My own mother wishes me dead.”

“Then kill her yourself.”

“I can’t.”

“Because she’s your mother? Or because you're powerless?”

“I can’t.”

“You’re a majel, you don’t care for your mother. If I were to give you power would you kill her to save yourself?”

“You’re me you are not? We’re both dying. There’s no magic I have but to heal.”

“I am not you, and if you’d like to make a deal with me, I can save us both.”

“A deal?”

“I give you power and you fulfill my wish.”

Life was in slow motion. Here he was with only milliseconds to live, and yet in this time it felt like eternity. Here he didn’t see his mother, he didn’t see anything, he just floated harmlessly and painlessly amongst the nothingness listening to the sound of her voice. It seemed better than reality, so he’d live in it as long as he could, even if it meant giving into delusions.

“What is your wish?”

“To be found and be reunited with my sisters.”

“And if I don’t fulfill your wish?”

“You’d die. But you’re already dying, so what more do you have to lose, Jahai?”

“How do you even know me?”

“I watched you at the Temple. I watch everyone at those many Temples and I’ve always tried to approach any who survive. The others were scarred and broken, not you. You are still young, a child, and instead of breaking you gained knowledge and wisdom beyond your years. You're my best shot Jahai.”

“Are you a goddess?”

“I know you don’t believe in such fantasies.”

“But then what are you to know all?”

“I am ancient, I’m powerful, and most importantly I’m bitter towards this world.”

“And who are you?”

“My name is Dedanya. Would you like to make a deal with me, Little Prince?”

“Yes.”

Jahai found himself slammed back into the present as if he had just fallen from a building. He choked on the water as he vision continued to give way- before it was gone entirely. But he could still think, process, feel, he could blink. This darkness wasn’t his fading consciousness, it was something else. It was in that moment he felt his mother’s force lessen on his body and all he wanted was to push her off but his body lacked the strength.

But the darkness didn’t. It surged upward as through his muddy vision he watched as black light shoved his mother back off of him entirely. It forced itself around his mother and it seeped in through her lungs and mouth. She moved from view but he knew she was choking on it- dying from it. He knew that now she knew how he felt. Was this the power Dedanya had given him? If so how would it help him out of the basin when he no longer had strength to move?

His vision was truly gone this time. He couldn’t even feel the chill of the water against his skin. He would die despite that delusional dream. But at least he wouldn’t be alone in it.

His eyes opened slowly and he had to squint to adjust to the light. His father was above him- having the audacity to look worried- as if Father had ever cared. He gave an awkward smile of relief and said something but to Jahai he may as well still be underwater. His eyes drifted slightly around the room. Beside his father were a few people, and further away were knights who had forced his mother onto her knees- he silently wondered why they would bother with a corpse when her head snapped up to meet his gaze- she was alive.

The burning of his chest returned, but this time he couldn’t pinpoint why. His thoughts and his body seemed to have disconnected, but even so he found himself reaching a hand towards her and as he did he found he could hear her pitiful pleas.

“Oh Meryu, goddess of mercy! I beg you to take my son to your holy realm! Oh Meryu goddess of mercy! Oh Meryu-”

Her prayer was stopped short as the dark light returned. It was flowing down her mouth into her body. And this time it would do what it was supposed to. He watched as the knights dropped her as she fell to the floor writhing and screaming in pain. But she didn’t stop her prayers-

“Meryu! Goddess of mercy and demon of cruelty! Blessings to my son! Meryu-”

And her words didn’t stop.

Not until Jahai stopped her heart.

The dark light left her just as quickly as it had come and Jahai found himself out of breath but somewhere deep inside him he felt a joy he couldn’t describe.

“You’re a majel,” his father breathed out.

Jahai saw no point in responding. Instead he pulled himself into a sitting position as he watched all eyes on him. He said nothing. He did nothing. He barely had the strength to do anything besides sit where he was.

“What is your sin, majel?”

Jahai wasn’t sure who had asked, but he forced himself to answer. “I killed the woman who tried to kill me. Call that a sin if you wish.”

“Magic is a sin!” Shouted a man who stood by the door.

“How did you know?” He asked instead of answering. “Did you all know she planned to kill me?”

“Answer the question you disgusting-” but just words faltered as Jahai raised a hand toward him in silent threat.

Father cleared his throat and tried to put back his usual Kingly persona. “Your mother left a note in my chambers.”

“Did it-did it say why?” He asked quietly.

“No.”

Jahai gave him a nod, “What happens now? The Soolyeri failed to kill me once, and now my mother, who is next?”

Father gave a swallow, “Decisions will be made. For now we’ll leave you here. And as long as you don’t use your curse, none shall bother you.”

When they had emptied the room taking his mother’s body with them Jahai still hadn’t moved from his spot.

“You’re alive just as promised.” Her words were warm, and almost kind as they reverberated in his skull. It hadn’t been a dream afterall.

Jahai gave a hum of agreement. “You were right.”

“I often am.”

“It was easier than it should be to kill my own mother.”

“That power is yours as long as you work towards my wish.”

“How do I find you?”

“You’ll need to travel.”

“I doubt Father will let me leave.”

“I can wait. I have nothing but time. And as long as you never forget my side of the deal you will live.”

He nodded once as he pulled himself to his feet. He was unsteady as he moved but slowly but surely he managed to leave the room and go to his own. He was changing into dry clothes when he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and the small black symbol in the center of his chest- that hadn’t been there previously. A withering flower.

“Proof of our deal.”

Jahai didn’t argue as he pulled on a shirt and laid in his bed. He had expected sleep to come readily, but after it eluded him he spoke.

“Do you know why she did it?”

“I don’t.”

“She said it had something to do with Yelsny. But, but her death was an accident.”

“I might not know the answer, but I feel you’ll gain one someday.”

“Thank you Dedanya.”

“Don’t thank me just yet. This journey is one which will be long and hard. Are you ready for that?”

“No. But I’m not ready for death either.”

He could hear as she gave a slight laugh, “Sleep well Little Prince. You will need your rest for what's to come.”

~~~~

tada a thing

#jaz's things #other writing things #death #murder #killing #magic #fiction #writing

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shhhhyoursister · 4 years

Text

uh hi so i wrote that first autistic matteo thing and it felt really good and i want to write more so im gonna write this one thats less sweet and is also maybe me just?? completely projecting??? but thats not new!!!!!

***

Matteo flipped through the shirts and sweaters hanging in his closet, and he frowned, and stared flicking his fingers on the hand that had been resting calmly at his side. He started looking through them again, the other way, wondering if he had missed the sweater he was looking for. Once he had gone through them again, and then again, and he realized that the sweater he wanted definitely wasn’t there, his frown deepened, and he started bouncing on his toes a little.

“What time were we supposed to be leaving again?” David said from the bed, where he was lazily scrolling on his phone, already dressed, and Matteo couldn’t focus enough to remember, so he stayed silent.

They were going to hang out with Jonas and Hanna, and Matteo knew that they were probably running late, but he was still standing in front of his closet, bouncing, his fingers twitching at his sides, completely dressed except for his bare torso.

He went over to his hamper and started searching through it, trying to remember the last time he had worn his cream-colored sweater with the red pattern. It had to have been recently, as it was one of specific clothing items that Matteo wore often, usually for multiple days in a row. Once he had dug through, and still couldn’t find it, he felt his stomach clench with a familiar feeling.

Some days, Matteo didn’t give a fuck what he wore. He would grab random shit out of his drawers and closet and end up with an outfit that barely matched, but he didn’t care as long as he was clothed. David would usually fondly tease him for the interesting combinations of patterns and fabrics that Matteo would manage to pull on.

And then there were the days where he wanted to wear specific things. Needed to. Like, actually, legitimately needed to. His gray sweatpants, his weird purple jacket, his blue sweatshirt, and lots more, even including some things that he had stolen from David (he hadn’t stolen it, David was more than happy to give up a sweater and a couple of shirts in exchange for a few of Matteo’s). And, his cream-colored sweater with the red pattern, the one he was looking for, and couldn’t find.

“Matteo?” he heard David say as he moved on to dig through a drawer in his dresser, rocking a little as he frantically pushed aside a bunch of shirts and sweatshirts and other things that weren't his sweater. Again, he didn’t answer.

His hands started twitching as his sides as his eyes flit around the room, trying to think if there was anywhere else it could be, and he got an idea. Without saying anything he left the room, ignoring David calling his name, and started searching through the rest of the flat. He couldn’t find it in the kitchen, and by the time he had moved onto the next room David had followed him.

“Matteo, what’s going on? We need to go soon.” He looked annoyed, in a way that David almost never did, and Matteo bit his lip as he felt a wave of shame and panic wash down his spine.

“Have you seen that sweater i have with the red...whatever on it?” He was too focused on looking around the room to explain more, and he hoped David knew what he meant.

“I don’t know? I think you wore it a few days ago, I don’t remember. Can you get dressed so we can leave?”

Matteo stopped for a second to look over at David, who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, and a smile on his face that seemed a little forced.

He knew that David had been going a little stir crazy being stuck in the flat with a Matteo who was coming down from an intense sensory overload that had happened a few days prior, but no matter how many times Matteo told him that he was okay to be alone for a little while, David refused to leave. It was the third day, and David had been showing obvious signs of restlessness.

“I want to wear it.” Matteo said back, hoping that David would understand. He was feeling a weird embarrassment that he only felt around David when he was doing something like this, something that was annoying and inconvenient because of his autism. He started flicking his fingers again, his nails digging in a little more, when David frowned.

“I don’t want to be late, Matteo, can you wear something else?“

Matteo froze. He knew that David knew that he preferred wearing certain items, that it made him feel good and calm, and could probably even name the clothes that Matteo wore the most. But he didn’t understand the feeling that was twisting Matteo’s insides up and made him grab onto his arm, and start scratching his nails under the sleeve at even just the suggestion of wearing something else.

“I- I,” Matteo stuttered for a moment, not able to get the words out through the mixture of shame and anxiety and whatever that other thing was that was filling him up, and he slid his hands into his own hair and started tugging a little as he finally got out, “No. I can’t.”

He was kind of hoping that he looked desperate enough, and was sure that he did, with the way that he was grabbing his own hair and bouncing on his toes, and he had no idea what expression was on his face but it was enough to make the annoyed look on David’s face turn into his concerned one, and Matteo made a small sound out of relief.

“Okay, hey, that’s okay,” David said, as he took a few steps closer, leaving about a foot of space between him and Matteo as he reached his hand out and asked, “can I touch you?”

Matteo nodded his head jerkily, and David smiled before stepping forward and loosening Matteo’s grip, and let Matteo squeeze his hands instead. Matteo took another step forward and dropped his head to David’s shoulder, and took in a deep, shaky breath,

“Do you want me to help you look? I can text Jonas and say that we’re going to be a little late.” David said,and when Matteo moved his arms to squeeze around his waist, he started stroking his hand down Matteo’s back, pressing a little harder then he might have usually, but the pressure felt amazing and even slightly helped loosen the feeling in his gut.

Matteo nodded, and pulled away so he could grab David’s hand to lead him to his room. He started looking through his closet again, searching through the stuff on the floor, while David texted Jonas and started looking through his dresser. They searched silently for a few minutes, Matteo feeling less of the shame but still all of the thing that made him want to call Jonas and cancel their plans so he didn’t have to think about the possibility of having to wear something else.

“Found it!” he heard David call from the dresser, and he whipped around, a grin growing on his face as David held the sweater up with a grin of his own. He walked over and slid it on over his head, and hummed as he pushed his arms in, and then let the sleeves flop over his hands so he could rub the fabric on his face.

“Feel better?” David said, sliding his hands onto Matteo’s hips and pulling him a little closer. Matteo took a few steps and collapsed onto David, and smiled when he heard him chuckle.

“Yeah, way better,” Matteo sighed into David’s shoulder, and then turned his head a little and bit his lip before saying, “I’m sorry I made us late.”

“No, don’t apologize, I should be the one apologizing,” David said, pulling away a little so he could look Matteo in the eyes (who tried to return the gaze, he really did, but ended up looking at David’s nose after a second), “I was being a dick, i didn’t realize that it was something you needed. I’m just glad we found it.”

“You found it,” Matteo said, pulling David in again, getting a hand in his hair, “and you weren’t being a dick.”

They hugged for a moment, Matteo feeling almost overwhelmed but in a good way with the feeling of David squeezing him tight, finally wearing the sweater, his fingers sliding through David’s hair, and he was even a little more excited to hang out with their friends.

David only pulled away when his phone buzzed, and Matteo whined before grabbing onto the back of his shirt and clenching his hand in the fabric, and followed when David didn’t stop. He wasn’t ready to give up the feel of David pressed against him so he draped himself on David’s back, his arms winding around his waist and squeezing a little.

“Oh, shit,” David said, and laughed a little, before dropping his head back onto Matteo’s shoulder and saying, “they just cancelled on us.”

“Oh no,” Matteo said, in an exaggerated sarcastic tone, “I guess that means we need to stay here and cuddle.”

David snorted as Matteo pulled away to tug him onto the bed, and pushed David onto his back so he could curl up on his chest. He rubbed his cheek against the fabric of David’s shirt and smiled when he heard just as sarcastically from above him, “Oh no, how terrible!”

“It really is,” Matteo said, feeling more relaxed and content than he had in days, that feeling growing as David slid his arms around Matteo’s waist and held him tight, “truly the greatest tragedy of the decade.”

#davenzi fic #davenzi fanfic #druck fic #druck fanfic #davenzi #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #matteo x david #autistic matteo #noggins #haha catch me almost having a meltdown over not fiinding something earlier #i wish i had a boyfriend like david damn #at least i had harri to whine at thanks harri youre the real mvp

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hongism · 4 years

Note

people preach using their platforms as a place to spread awareness and address things that need to be said and then they turn around and say shit like “kEeP yoUr oPinIon To yOurself” lol no go away because if you wanna be negligent to something that should be talked about, and something that’s legitimate FACTS, go to your own corner of abandon. and people don’t know how agonizingly anxiety-inducing it can be to receive attention, especially from people you view as important and people who’s opinions you value. let’s also keep in mind the fact that hundreds of people view caly’s profile and when absolute idiots like that anon make dumb comments like that, it’s horrifying. and you wonder why receiving attention is scary??? you don’t know caly like that and therefore you can’t say SHIT about her behavioural patterns. leave her alone 🔪🔪 now to take the topic off of this negativity, the unus annus livestream is happening and everyone was spamming “eef” for like a whole HOUR SJDJDN anywho i love you caly ur amazing muah. (i kind of snapped i’m sORRY AHEJD) —inspo anon!

woOoOoAaAAahhhHHH BABIE BEANIE!!! I LOVE U SO MUCH 🥺 you are truly mark lee’s jopping verse rn ‘opiniated but im always spitting straight facts’ yes that was written for YOU and ONLY you 😤 i dont see how it’s causing ‘drama’ when everyone knows that this is the way things are it was literally being discussed earlier today like?? everyone just opts to turn a blind eye rather than addressing the problem :/ as for the other issue, i have said it so many times like i never expected to get any attention, i didn’t think this would happen, i didn’t start writing or start a blog with any expectations except that hey maybe this will be fun to branch out more! i am not looking for attention, i just want to share my works and enjoy myself, so that anon really is in no position to say anything about me at all. the amount of attention i do get terrifies me and yall have no idea how many times i have sat back and thought about just deactivating and starting over bc it gets overwhelming. the reason i DONT do that and WONT for that matter is because of precious people like you babie beanie :(( you guys make it more than worth it and so much easier to handle to a point where i can feel comfortable talking about my feelings and personal life. if that anon doesn’t like it, they are welcome to get blocked next time they send an ask 💗 aND ONTO UNUS ANNUS!!!! im SDJFLKFDKKLJKLJ im gonna miss them so much ;-; where is my daily serotonin gonna go 😭 i love YOU so much babie bean muahmuah thank u for the love ;-;

#inspo anon #best babie bean #literally the BESTEST IN THE UNIVERSE #anon #ask #caly answers

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inkth · 6 years

Text

cream of the crop pt. 1

pairing → mygxreader

genre → angst (in future parts), fluff

warnings → for this part, there are no warnings

word count → 6.6k

okAY so fyi this is unedited for now and i might come back to switch certain things up but oh my god in bon voyage there was a part where yoongi got a strawberry milkshake and i stg this was in my wip waaaay before that so when i saw the gif i think i wailed a bit bc he made it literally canon my friends!!!! hope u enjoy this guys im chwishfsdkfhl

Yoongi just wanted a god damn strawberry milkshake to release work stress. not to be grabbed by the arm by a stranger begging him to role play as some perfect boyfriend or another.

There are a variety of absurd experiences Min Yoongi has been unfortunate enough to cross within his current lifetime.

Thinking back, there was that time Yoongi picked up the phone to his childhood best friend Kim Namjoon, who thought he was being robbed by foreigners on the side of the street at one in the afternoon, and frantically asked Yoongi to please come save him by the way its the sidewalk on 44th street bring a gun!

“What kind of fucking robbers let you make a phone call, dumbass?” Yoongi barked into the phone, pretty upset that his afternoon nap was interrupted by some nonsensical disturbance.

“Oh shit Yoongi, you’re probably right,” Namjoon exhales and stays on the phone with him though, as he tries to solve the mystery of the tourists who just wanted to let Namjoon know that he had dropped a couple bills. They were discreetly carrying knives because they were opening a wood carving stand a block over, Namjoon explained later. Yoongi was quite the unamused listener.

There was another time in his already awfully long life when Yoongi himself was found caught in the middle of a fight between a Minecraft gamer and a ballerina carrying a flower vase, but that was a long story where it finally ended with him being released from custody as soon as the police had determined his innocence.

Or that other glitch in his simulation of a life when he had to bring nine cats home with him after work. Yoongi never knew he had a cat allergy, but he learned it the hard way that night as he sneezed so hard for so long till he couldn’t hear anything out of his ears.

So when Yoongi is feeling something in the air tickle his nugget of a brain that he should skip his ritual milkshake tonight and head on home right away to avoid whatever this coming disturbance is, Yoongi does what Yoongi does best, and he ignores his intuition because who cares, what Yoongi wants is his McFreaking milkshake.

Everything goes smoothly. Yoongi successfully orders a milkshake at the bar. He successfully receives the right order. He successfully starts to drink the milkshake in the quiet serenity of two am on a Monday.

But then he fails to leave as soon as she comes in the door, the same girl who legitimately flings the entrance open like some wild animal and he is so horrified he can’t look away from this scene and makes the mistake of meeting your gaze.

The damage is done, however. He knows you’ve selected him as your prey among the barren tables save for one lady picking up fries togo and the waitress staring at you in fear.

“Lady, please get off me,” he groans, pulling your fingers off his biceps as if they’re blood hungry leeches. His arm is free for maybe a second before your fingers fly back, grip stronger than before and this time Yoongi really can’t do much with just the one tired, exhausted hand; the one that isn’t holding the milkshake glass.

He’s whispering a string of curses and damnations at One Week Ago Yoongi for slacking with working out. Or any of his past Yoongis, really. He rests his head on the tips of his fingers, weighing down on his elbow angled onto the table.

“You don’t understand,” you wheeze dramatically, eyes round with terror. Uh, hello? I don’t care enough to understand, Yoongi mentally comments. “My parents, they-“

Sure, you might’ve been exaggerating everything a little, but what’s a little show and extravagance when your damn life is on the line? A matter of life and death knows no tranquility.

He looks at you half lidded; boredom and ‘are you really still talking to me Ican’tbelievetheaudacity’ washing over his face doing a whole awful lot to create a grave aura around him. You can physically see the deathly ash gray energy come off him in waves like something from an anime.

At this point, Yoongi’s thinking he might just ditch you, make a run for it to never see your crazy ass again and the idea is so tempting but instead, he responds. He’s not too sure why, although it’s probably ‘cause he’s paid an awful lot for this deliciously overpriced milkshake that has yet to be completely consumed. But the fact of the matter is he does respond, even thought you’re clearly not in the right state of mind and he really should be telling you to go home.

“Listen, they’re not gunna care if your boyfriend’s a bum. It’s your life anyways, why would they care?” Yoongi notices he’s got about another sip or two of his milkshake and then he can hightail it outta this joint and a certain spazz grabbing onto him.

You let go of his arm, thinking maybe you came off a little too strong and run your hands over your hair to pat down the flyaways contributing to the messy, crazed look.

“Now, I really absolutely must get going… miss,” Yoongi has finished his drink with a content sigh, a little disappointed that the experience was partially ruined with your improv tug of war, but content nonetheless. “Don’t worry, I’ll go ahead and take care of your water,” he reassures you dryly and stands up from the bar’s long legged chair, grabbing his expensive leather jacket. The best purchase he’s ever made in his life, he tends to overshare this fact to anything or anyone with two ears and legs, seeing as how he wears it everyday through wind, rain and the scorching heat.

Your eyes flash in one last lunge of desperation and your integrity flies out the window and disappears into the sky like a balloon. Floating away… peacefully, gone forever till all that’s left is your soulless body embarrassing yourself like this on a Monday at two am.

“Please,” you choke out one last time and sincerity taints your voice, everything you’ve depended on relying on this thin line of his consent.

There’s something about it that Yoongi finds himself hesitating for as his mind reels from the way your fingers grip the end of his jacket sleeve.

“I really, truly only need your help for a couple days. I-I’ll even pay you.”

Your eyes dart to the floor from his face with your final push, unable to face rejection one last time from help you so ridiculously need. His body halts, and with this, you take it as a sign for your fingers to relax and stop holding his like some child refusing to let go of their lollipop.

There’s one thing the weary should know, and it’s that one specific thing hits a chord with Min Yoongi that makes him who he is.

“Shit.”

Hana looks up at you in what seemed like concern and a bit of ‘damn, you live like this?’ tainting her face. You keep going back and forth between looking down at your most recent message on your phone and up to her face, still contorted in confusion unable to face the reality that is your life right now.

You’re not okay, this can’t be happening — everything you had worked up for up until this point, only to be destroyed by your parents’ wrath would be the endgame for your life. You need to lie down and forget this day even happened.

“Are you, okay?” She can’t help but emphasize the ‘okay’ with leaning her head in a tilt.

“Hana,” you squeak out, hands pressed against your eyes till you see stars. It’s late, you’re braincell-less from such last minute studying and you’re absolutely, completely fucked. And not in the nice way you normally would want to be.

“My parents are coming over and want to meet Jungkook.”

Hana lets out a strangled gurgle of terror from the back of her throat as she runs her hands through her dark hair and crawls over to you to peer at your phone screen. Now that she knows you’re fucked, you want to throw your phone out the window and run away. Or just throw yourself out the window. You stand up from your sitting position on the floor and take deep breaths counting to ten and back again.

“Oh my god,” she whispers. “You’re screwed.”

You twist your face and tell her, “Thank you so very much for the vote of confidence! I’ll just have to remember that while trying to explain everything to my parents.”

Hana’s pained smile emits an apologetic vibe as she continues to voice her thoughts. “Damn. Seriously though… what’re you gonna do, I mean. You still have… two days?”

“I don’t even know anymore,” you wail, falling back to the floor and hoping it’ll somehow open up, and take your body into the recesses of the earthy ground. “Is a day or two even enough time for him to come back from that trip?”

“Wait, you mean you would have your parents actually meet him?” Hana looks over at you incredulously. “Like, we’re talking about your boyfriend Jeon Jungkook, right?”

Backtrack – So, okay, yes maybe you had a few flaws. One of them was the fact that you were maybe a little too prideful. As in it’d physically pain you for your parents to know that your boyfriend was a bum who did absolutely nothing.

You had lied to your parents from the very beginning, pulling off the scam with a few explanations here and there saying, “Oh, no he’s too shy. He won’t take pictures!” when your parents wanted to see who this guy was. The occasional “He can’t meet up with us because he’s studying for his very big exam haha you know how these studious nerds are sorry!”

You wince from her tone, speaking as if he’s a demon sent from hell, and start collecting strands of your hair to comb through with worry.

“I mean, if he were here I could play him up as the guy I made him out to be,” you mused. “They don’t even know what he looks like. Probably think he’s afraid of cameras, poor baby.”

Hana looks slightly revolted from your gently verbalized “uwu” and snaps her fingers to garner your attention back onto the matter at hand.

“Wait- I,” you sat back up, all the blood rushing this way and that causing a weird feeling to consume you and you see black for a good three seconds before it dissipates. “Don’t judge me for what I’m about to say.”

“Done,” Hana nods. “I live with you and judge you enough already.”

You look at her unimpressed, lips curled into an unamused smile.

“How about I get a fake boyfriend? Like, right now?”

Hana doesn’t even know where to begin she laughs because she thinks you’re literally joking but then stops when she knows you’re not. “Uh, you do realize it is two am, Y/N. Where are you planning on going to look for an accomplice to role play your perfect boyfriend?”

“Honestly speaking, I’ll probably have to go to a bar or something.” Just saying this out loud was enough to acknowledge that you yourself were not thinking straight.

“You’re just going to walk into a bar and pick up the first dude you lay eyes on is what you’re implying…” Hana trails off, as she begins to re-evaluate the situation. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you sigh, brushing off your jeans as you stand up. “But this is my only option.”

“Well, you could always tell the truth to your mom and dad. You don’t have to be so full of it, Y/N. And listen, you’re 20 going on 21… how much longer are you going to hide this from your parents? You’re literally an adult.”

You frown and start walking out of the room, grabbing a jacket before you head outside and to the car. “I’m not full of it,” you defend your poor self. “I just need my parents to think I’m living my best life with the best boyfriend so they don’t rub in how they were right all this time or whatever overprotective shit they wanna pull on me.”

Hana holds up her hands as an act of surrendering and picks up your phone from the floor to hand it to you. Before it’s passed off however, a pinging sounds and she calls out the notification.

“Your mom texted you to say–“ Hana squints from how dark your phone’s lighting is. “They’re actually planning on starting to drive over tonight and should make it here by tomorrow evening?”

You start to panic, countless thoughts crashing the calm of your mind like stormy waves as you start to assess your problem at hand. You need to find a fake boyfriend, said fake boyfriend must learn what must be learned about you and said fake boyfriend will need to do a good enough job to keep your parents away forever and hopefully this will work because you don’t know what you’ll do the next time your parents come to “check up” on you because they think something’s fishy with this hypothetical fake boyfriend.

You let out what sounds like something between a sob and a groan as you snatch the phone from Hana’s hands and run out of the house, debating between driving to the nearest diner or running away from home.

See, the problem with your parents were that they were overbearing to the point that they even hated the fact you decided to attend college out of state. Mind them, it was only one state away, but it did absolutely nothing to soothe their constant fretting over your wellbeing and life. You were fed up with the relentlessly strict parental control and went crazy in college – finally dating, drinking and partying – although it was still at a good minimum.

To expose to your parents that you were dating an undecided major who spent the money he could scrounge around for on video games was a one-way ticket to hell so in order to save face and keep up the façade that you in fact were living your best life possible, you dreamt up of the littlest, white lie.

Your boyfriend was a perfect boy. One grade above you, one his way to graduating as a summa cum laude. He had an internship and was already guaranteed a job after college as a biomedical engineering major. You painted the perfect picture so you could present yourself in the best way possible to your parents.

The way your hard work was about to be shattered by the way so many coincidences piled on top of each other was a bit frustrating to say the least. You weren’t sure how you kept this a secret for so long and frankly, how your parents didn’t doubt you from the start but now they believed him to be a camera shy, facetime shy boy that only spent his time studying.

You didn’t even want to start on the numerous occasions you and Jungkook had ended a night fighting because of this ridiculous situation, that sure, you put yourselves in. You weren’t sure why you did this, but of course it wasn’t because you were too prideful.

Yoongi never lets money slip out of his hands. Call him frugal, call him thrifty, he doesn’t care. He just knows that if it’s worth the price, he’ll do it.

“Fine. I’ll do this. But I want cash and I want half of the end amount right now,” he knows he’s being demanding and it does look like you reek of eau de poor college student but with the request you’re making, he thinks it’s only fair.

You look teeny tiny and exhausted from the way you crumple your body on the seat next to him and it’s annoying how much work you’re going through because of a simple lie, but you can’t back out now. The way you’ve been explaining the situation to him is really making you sound a little crazy but hey, you’re only human and this isn’t the weirdest situation Yoongi has ever been in.

“How is this even going to work?” Yoongi looks at you as if you haven’t thought this far ahead. “Haven’t they seen his face? Is he even okay with this? Are you running a scam show? If this turns out to be a mess, I want no part of the repercussions.” He squints at you and crosses his arms, eyeing you suspiciously.

“I’m not stupid,” you roll your eyes and scrunch your face from irritation. “They’ve never seen pictures or anything of his face. I’m thankful my boyfriend doesn’t have social media, but I mean, even if he did my parents are technologically inept, anyways.”

“This is so extra, this is like, almost kind of idiotically stupid,” with a snort, Yoongi continues to doubt you. “I can’t believe I agreed to this. You better pay me the remaining amount as soon as this shit’s done. I’ve got things to do.”

“I’m sure you have so much stuff to do concerning your things,” you bite back and have to hold steady the urge to punch his weak looking noodle arm. Just keep thinking about how grateful you are that this sort of handsome spawn of the devil is agreeing to save your ass and livelihood.

He huffs and has the audacity to look offended, loosely crossing his arms across his chest. “Whatever, run this by me again.”

“Okay,” you sigh. You nearly teeter off the edge of the stool from sleepiness, an untouched glass of water in front of you and you watch the droplets trickle down the sides of the condensating cup. “My name is Y/N and yours is Jeon Jungkook. I’m 20 and you’re 21…”

You start to list off factual information and the details get a little blurry as they re-enter his mind because now it’s almost 3:20 in the morning and Yoongi just wanted a fucking milkshake but now it’s like he’s in college all over again, cramming all the notes and tidbits of information he can into his mind to purge it in five hours on the dreadful test. Even though Yoongi’s suffering, he starts noticing these things about you that’s definitely a little confusing to him and gets him a little worked up but in all the right ways.

He pays attention to the way when you laugh you move to cover your mouth with your hand, it’s kind of endearing. Sure, he’ll admit he thought you were pretty behind the air of desperation and super strange vibes you let out when you first marched into the door. Like, perhaps very pretty. He’s not sure but it might be something to do with the shape of your eyes and the pink of your lips. But the tendency you have to tilt your head when you smile is something that Yoongi starts noticing too and–

Yoongi catches himself thinking these thoughts that are so out of bounds and unnecessarily loud. It’s okay, he mentally argues. These are fake boyfriend feelings and it is late. I am exhausted, I don’t know what I am talking about.

And there you have it folks. Yoongi solves this problem of the Case of Weird Emotions with a simple answer. He’s just a really good fucking actor and can get into character so well that he starts thinking the way his character would. That’s all. And now Yoongi is mentally punching himself because he sounds really fucking weird. And fuck, he needs to stop cursing because he needs to be a well polished, dapper, perfect boyfriend.

He shudders and you see it, not because you’ve been looking at him but because he does it in a really obvious way that calls for attention in your peripheral vision.

“Are you alright?” You ask warily, eyeing him because what if he’s having a spasm attack holy shit?

Yoongi grunts with his absurdly deep voice and says, “Yeah, go on.”

“I wish we had more time,” you whine, rubbing your probably bloated face with sweater paws and something tickles Yoongi’s heart from the way you look and speak although he does his best to ignore it.

“It’s okay, I’ll remember this, I’m pretty sure… let’s just try and come up with a code word or something for me. Like, if I don’t know something I’ll say or do something and you’ll cover for me.”

You nod your head and for the first time that night it seems like you really smile and it’s cute, but not cute enough to swindle Min Yoongi’s heart. Of course not.

“Do you know how to crack your fingers?” You ask after a few moments of deep contemplation.

Yoongi suddenly looks small because he’s shoving his hands in between his thighs to cover them from the cold and you almost coo as he nods his head yes.

“Great,” you look away from his figure to calm yourself. “Just do that and then I’ll fill in. That’s the signal.”

“Does this mean we’re done now?” Yoongi’s voice has gotten raspy over the span of time you’ve spent with him because of how he spent most of it just listening to you and barely opened his mouth.

“I dunno,” you nervously gnaw on your lower lip, another habit Yoongi has picked up on fondly. Or not fondly, not at all… at least only fondly with fake boyfriend feelings. “I’m really not sure how this is going to turn out. Thankfully my friend is going to stay at a friend’s house to avoid more possible complications.”

“Alright then, give me a call tomorrow morning and I’ll get over to your place by two in the afternoon.”

You shake your head, “No, come earlier. We need as much time as possible to go over this. Remember? They’re arriving sometime that night.”

Yoongi groans from the revolting sentence he has just been forced to hear and he cries, “But I can’t! You’ve kept me up for this long evil lady, I should’ve been in bed falling asleep hours ago!”

“I’m sorry,” you feebly offer. “But I really need to nail in a lot more with you.”

Yoongi grumbles a wide variety of things under his breath comprised of but not limited to, “You’re lucky you’re cute”, “Fuck, I need a good ten hours of sleep to retain all this information, though” and “Damn it, I want my money”.

“Fine– 11 is the earliest I’ll be there. And are you sure you’re okay with giving me your freaking address? You’re going to let a stranger know where you live and you’re fine with it,” Yoongi lowers his tone towards the last bit in uncertainty.

“I’ll be fine because my roommate is a police force trainee who has armed me with a panic button along with pepper spray. You’ve been warned,” you wiggle your brows. “Plus you’re my fake boyfriend and you want the money. I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven.”

You both get up from your chairs, leaving cash tips and Yoongi’s expression changes into one of respect and newfound admiration.

“Duly noted,” he chuckles as he holds the door open for you to walk through, the brisk, autumnal air enveloping you.

Outside in the parking lot you head towards your car and see only a couple other vehicles, one of them being a motorcycle and you don’t think twice about it till Yoongi is waving goodbye to you as he walks in the direction of it.

“Wait,” you call out and Yoongi immediately halts, turning to face you with an expectant raise of his brow. “That’s your ride?” You point at the motorcycle.

He smirks and shoves his hands into his leather jacket as deep black as the galaxy and his hair swirls around from the wind above his twinkling eyes.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

You groan, wondering if you have enough money to fork up however much it would cost to rent a car. You’re pretty sure you don’t, but if it’s for this boy, the best you could pick out on a quiet Monday morning at two, the cream of the crop, you’ve really got no other choice.

You just hope this cream of the crop has a license to drive a car.

The next morning you wake up at eight, sitting up in your plush bed as memories of last night flood your mind in horror. Restless sleep tightened your neck through the night, stress eating away at you and your ability to sleep peacefully.

You groan, peeking at your alarm clock and take a deep breath before you whip your hair out of your face and harden your resolve by sheer will. You pull of the covers and step out of your room, trailing for the kitchen in order to brew yourself some deeply needed coffee.

“Coffee first,” you mumble. Priorities.

Hana is sitting in the living room, a mug on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up as soon as she sees you enter from the short hallway.

“Mornin’ sunshine, there’s some coffee left for you,” she chippers cheerfully. “You got up pretty early. You’re meeting the man of the hour soon, right?”

“Meh, don’t remind me,” you grumble, shuffling into the kitchen and from the coffee machine, you see her kick her slippers off and finish the last of her homework. You pour the still hot liquid holy grail into your Totoro mug and start to mix in cream and sugar seeing as how you’re not as abhorrent as Hana with her love of black coffee.

“But damn, you were just a wreck last night,” Hana teases. “I can’t believe you really got someone to do something this crazy for a girl they just met.”

“It was the money,” you point out, sipping the first few tastes of coffee. It needs a bit more sugar. “I’m so fucken exhausted! Listen, I don’t even have that kind of money to pay him.” You can hear your stash of hidden cash for emergencies underneath your drawer already crying for help. This could qualify as an emergency, you doubtfully suppose.

Hana is still recovering from the surprise of hearing your insane plan worked, even if she found out last night. You remember how you entered the house, satisfied with how quote on quote smoothly the ordeal went even if you were about to be $600 short on money and stressfully sleep deprived the next morning. Hana walked out of her room with sleepy eyes and a bit of bedhead to you getting ready for bed so early in the morning, although she gained a bit of consciousness after hearing how your plan had indeed, succeeded.

Now that it’s the morning and your adrenaline rush had bled away and you’re in a clearer state of mind, doubt starts to trickle in and you are wondering what in hell you were thinking in the first place. You shake the thoughts away and focus on the task at hand.

“I’ll be getting out of the house soon,” Hana comments, starting to pack up whatever textbooks and notes she’ll need for the next day or two.

“You’re the amazingest,” you gratefully smile at her and try to convey your upmost sincerity. As best you could, at least.

“Yes,” she agrees mindlessly. “I am, aren’t I? I am so amazing—so amazing that I am literally leaving the apartment that I share with you for you and the stranger to bond and learn how to role play as lovers. It sounds crazy, I know, but here we are.”

Your smile fades away as you look at her in playful disbelief. “Go to your room, pack your granny underwear and your granny clothes, and leave this household!”

Hana scrunches her nose in distaste, “They’re not granny clothes! They’re retro! And thongs or whatever strip of fabric you claim are underwear are so uncomfortable, literally leavemealonegoodnightDevil!”

You laugh as she prances to her room to stuff her duffle bag full of clothes she’ll need in order to survive for the time she’s gone and you glance at the clock to see it read 8:30, and you go off to your room to get ready for the very. Incredibly. Extremely, long day ahead.

It is at ten that you have finished cleaning up your room, taken a quick shower and waved off Hana out of the home you two share. You walk back inside after seeing her depart safely promising to text you when she arrives, even though it’s the daytime and she’s just a good ten feet away, you never know what could happen. Even if she’s almost a police officer.

Which, speaking of, she has reminded you countlessly about, telling you to pass on the message that she will personally come to fuck him up if anything happens to you. You appease her with saying you will, but you sure as hell don’t plan on doing so.

Closing the door, you sigh deeply and it leaves you a little lightheaded as you lean your back against the door.

“Oh, shit.”

It hits you then that this is really happening. Like, your idiotic plan your brain thought up of that you thought was foolproof was really happening. There were so many holes that could expose you in a second and the thought of you being ousted in front of your parents tugged at your pride riddled mind.

The anxiety twitches your fingers as you pull up your phone and it leaves you staring at his message from last night.

yoongi: see u at 10:30

You forget he suddenly promised an earlier time at the last minute and you reckon you’ve got yourself about twenty or so minutes for him to show up at your door. It’s enough time for you to beat your face with makeup and put on some presentable clothes.

At 10:30 sharp he arrives at the door and it catches you by surprise because he doesn’t seem to be an advocate for timeliness. You tug down at your cropped sweater one last time before you open the door to see Yoongi in all his slightly bloated, freshly showered glory.

He looks a bit nervous, seeing as how he kept worrying over this very situation he should never have gotten himself into over the night not to mention what if you sent him the wrong address. Yoongi’s eyes flit from your face to the room behind you but he manages to keep his jittery

“Hey,” you sigh in relief. “Thank goodness you’re here. And thanks for coming so early.”

Yoongi loses a bit of the nervousness in his system and seems a bit more relaxed than he was when you first met him, probably because he’s gotten a better grip of his surroundings than last night, when he was completely hit with a curveball. In the face. At 500 miles per hour. In the form of you. HIs face loses the tension in the muscles and his lips take on a nonchalant smile. You also notice he’s wearing the same leather jacket as last night and you wonder if he has anything else available to wear.

“No worries,” he says in that gruff voice of his but he clears his throat quickly and yeah, you notice he’s still pretty high strung. This whole tribulation is probably a first for him too.

“Come on in,” you gesture inside, and make space for him to make through. Not that he needed much anyways being the tiny man he is.

“Alright,” he mutters, stepping into the apartment and slipping off his shoes. He doesn’t really pay attention to the apartment anymore but rather your outfit. You wearing sweatpants that still hug your legs and figure looks really good with the bit of skin exposed under the hem of your cropped Adidas sweater and Oh my God shut up, he scolds his train of thought.

It’s just that psychology of attraction at first sight, or whatever. Sure, it’s not his first time meeting you, sure, but you two have only recently met. Yoongi is certain he is a man of strong will. He would never let himself start feelings these things for someone who is already in a relationship.

He tears his gaze away from you before you can notice his burning stare and starts to run his eyes over the layout.

“Well,” you laugh strangely, trying to cover your skittishness. “This is where I live. I guess we can run over what we talked about last night over there on the couch.”

You point at the black sofa and Yoongi nods, walking over to sit down stiffly.

“Did you want something to drink?” You ask, noticing the way he stays pretty quiet. This won’t do. Your fake boyfriend is a great conversationalist.

“No, I’m fine, let’s just go over what we have to. I don’t wanna mess up…” Yoongi trails off and a hint of concern tinges his voice as you smile.

“Sounds good,” you agree.

“Okay, first things first,” you start reciting the basics as you are sat next to him. Yoongi does a really good job of staying on task at first, he swears. He’s listening intently but all of a sudden he’s thinking about how sweet and pretty your voice is and next thing he knows he’s thinking about how hard it is to just even meet your gaze, because your eyes are just such a wonderful outlet of all your emotions it’s really hard to meet them and not just go on and dive into the pool that is you and then—

“We might have to gel your hair back,” you muse softly and Yoongi is shaken out of his schoolboy crush-like trance.

“Fuck no. No,” Yoongi is firm with his decision, holding his hand out to emphasize his stance. “The forehead stays covered.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh as you cover your mouth with your hand and say, “Fine.”

Yoongi notices once again how you have a habit of doing that when laughing and he hates how it’s pretty adorable.

“How did you get here, anyways?” You ask suddenly. “Not with your bike, I hope…?”

Yoongi grins at you and you notice that he’s one of those gummy grinners and it does a little something to you but you avoid it at all costs and swallow it down.

“I Ubered here,” he said simply. “I figured I could say my car’s in the shop if your parents ask.”

You widen your eyes and nod in approval. “Brilliant! That’s really good Yoongi, thank God I don’t have to pay for a rent a car.”

“Speaking of payment,” Yoongi is reminded of your debt to him at the passing mention of money but is glowing from your praise. “Need I say more? Don’t worry about the Uber fee, I won’t be holding those against you, call it service.”

“How kind of you,” you grimace, hearing the cries of your emergency money once more, as you tell him to stay put. “I’ll be right back with half of it.”

When you count out 300 and carefully tuck the rest away, you turn around to walk out only to see Yoongi peering in your door, arms crossed and looking quite interested.

You jump at the sudden intrusion-like non-intrusion and scowl, asking, “What are you doing here? You scared me shitless and you’re very lucky I didn’t shriek.”

He shrugged, tousling his dark hair from his eyes and replied, “If I’m gonna be your fake boyfriend, I should know what your room looks like. As your fake boyfriend, of course.”

You groan and tell him, “Get a good, quick look around, because here’s your money and now we’re leaving.” You slap the wad of cash onto his unsuspecting palm and push his shoulders out the door.

“I know you kind of know me because of all the information I might’ve been burning into your mind the past 24 hours about yours truly, but I barely know a thing about you and we’re really acquaintences at best, still.”

Yoongi lets you lead him out of the hall into the living room and with a quick look at your lockscreen, you see that it’s still only 11:14. He stuffs the money in the back pocket of his jeans, which fit him quite nicely around the thigh area, if you may say so yourself.

“Fine,” he mutters and you barely catch it with your already dull hearing.

“What’s fine?” You ask, sitting down on the sofa as he takes a seat as well.

“I said, fine. What do you wanna know about me?” He asks, finding interest in the boring coffee table.

“Uh,” you trail off, unprepared for this kind of a question. “Wait, do I want to know more about you? I should be thinking of you as my boyfriend Jungkook, putting history and information behind you would make it too easy for me to differentiate…”

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a condescending sigh that you somehow know isn’t very genuine. “Just ask three things about me, so we’re not complete strangers,” he offers a compromising deal.

You let it sit with you for a second. If you made a slip up would you be able to recover? It was already hard enough, calling him Yoongi—already so hard enough that it was weird to remind yourself you’d have to be calling him Jungkook in a few hours. Eh, screw it.

“Where do you work?” You ask your first question tentatively.

“I work as a part time server for now,” he replies as if it’s something of a bother. “At the barbecue place downtown.” You have a brief idea of where it is, having passed by it a few times while you were in the vicinity.

“Alright,” you huffed. “What’s your other part time?”

Yoongi looks a bit confused at first with the way you worded it, but he catches on quickly seeing as how he’s got a fast train of thought.

“Oh, yeah. You remember my bike? I wanna go into autotech service. Or something like that, like engineering,” he vocalizes his thoughts and grows a bit red.

“That’s really awesome,” you smile at him and he grows comforted by the idea of you approving his passion. Although he shouldn’t be so—

“Do you have a girlfriend?” This question takes you back by surprise too, and you swear it was a slip of your tongue.

“I—“ Yoongi wasn’t ready, didn’t even think you were one bit interested in his love life but he answers directly. “No.”

For some reason you like hearing that answer, something like satisfaction burns at your tongue and heart and you don’t understand why when you have a perfectly cute boyfriend named Jeon Jungkook (the real one) you can call yours.

“Sorry, I didn’t know where that came from,” you giggle nervously.

Yoongi brushes it off and breathes evenly. He’s not sure why he’s worked up uncomfortably like this and he wants to skip to the part where this is all over and he goes back to moping around, living out his normal, daily routine.

We are acquaintances, he keeps reminding himself.

You two end up talking about yourselves a bit more, because pictures of your dog reminds him of his dog and from there the conversation flows a little too perfectly because now you’re intrigued by the mystery that is Min Yoongi and you want to know more and everything about him. This goes on for the next six hours and it’s filled with so much talking and laughing and you’ve even cooked up lunch because oh my goodness you found ingredients to make pancakes.

Then dawn rolls around as if it’s only been a mere thirty minutes and to be honest, it feels likes you know Min Yoongi more than your own boyfriend Jeon Jungkook.

You shake that last thought off, startled from the way you so abruptly stated that. Internally, of course.

Yoongi’s barely opened his mouth to ask you another question when-

The doorbell rings and it echoes throughout the inside of your home and holy shit it feels so intimidating and loud and Yoongi just isn’t ready, but can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now if he’s this scared of what’s to come.

You glance at him almost as if you’re seeking refuge in someone’s comfort so he grits his teeth a bit because between the two of you, he realizes he’s got to stay the rock.

Yoongi narrows his eyes until they resemble somewhat to a feline’s. He’s the rock.

And not just in the Dwayne Johnson sort of way.

oooooookay oh my goodness this is unedited but i wanted it off my shoulders before i got to work so here this is please enjoy but send me feedback or anything you'd like through my inbox thanks!!!

51 notes · View notes

leonbastralle · 6 years

Text

Replies Are Back!

it’s been a while... xD

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Conifer: Charlotte! Guess what? I’m pregnant!! Charlotte: Really?...”

Ahh more babies!!

of course! i still have themed names to use ;)

ladyanyarose replied to your photoset “Charlotte: So…you write bad smut to relax your brain. That’s new....”

Okay but Salim is seriously the worst neighbor ever. XD He's either whoohooing or playing loud music ever night and then the one time one if my sims decides to work out in the morning in the treadmill he comes over pounding on the door saying how loud they're being. Salim. Stop. XD

YESSSSS!!!! this exactly! apparently even showering, doing homework or having a midnight snack is too loud for this poor old man XD it’s happened m a n y times

(thank you for this comment btw i’m not anti salim or anything but i love complaining and it’s good to know i’m not alone ;))

pixeldemographics replied to your post “official nsfw warning”

smh annie i will shield myself from n o t h i n g

at ur own risk my dude

simphonics replied to your post “psa welp guys i’m afraid this is the kinda content i post. berries and...”

I love this content.

i know i @-replied to this but i want to delete this post and save it somewhere else so again- thank you so much ♥

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “Conifer: Char! Jess promised to take the kids tonight. Are you ready...”

Ohohohohohoh

one can never have too many nsfw scenes amirite?? (i say that but i had a whole load of regrets but in the end this cost me less followers than the pool stuff so i guess it’s a success? and there’s still the wedding night to come ;))

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset

dats a big ring

gonna take what you can get smh this is the base game ring i ain’t going cc hunting for that but also they’re not poor so there’s that

thatsimslove replied to your photoset “Eva Velasquez ~”

Ohh I love her

thank you!! me too, i wish i had motivation to play vanillas

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “W: Gotcha!!!”

Protecc this child

we will :,)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “(Random HC I have about Charlotte: she’s actually a pretty big fan of...”

its ok u are goals without plate merging and tBH i LOVE THIS CHARLOTTE HEADCANON SO MUCH!! we discussed it so much but i live for charlotte and her positivity and her FINDING WAYS to SMASH that positivity in is so good it feels so organic pls take these char feelies

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA U THINK?????? I CRY I TAKE THEM ALL T H A N K Y O U!!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

i see jess is going to perform the rare ass jump ;)

mar: im so glad im in the cold water already

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

aaaa this tickles my aesthetic bone so much

fucccccccccc highest!!! praise

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

ok but char is such a Gr8 and Amazing and Beautiful Mom i love her

;___________; me too i want her to be everyones mum

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “M: You too, Jessamine. Where am I going to put you???”

in the bED 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀

you are not wrong

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “M: What are my kids doing out of the pool! Unacceptable. Back in, the...”

im still legitimately weeping at this!!!!!!!! hes such a good dad to these kids that i still dont know i lov!!!!!

akjsfaksfjahskfjasfkajsfkasfjaksfasd i cry i feel like such a kidnapper still but im glad!! soon enough bby do it for them (also for all the milestones in between that will be beautiful)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “MARVISION: A C T I V A T E”

jess can feel the weight of that marvision

u bet i cry hes so close it must b something else

the strongest part of mars body: the arms? the dicc???? nah its the e y e s

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “MARVISION: A C T I V A T E”

mIND THE KIDS MAR

thE WHAT WHAT ARE KIDS

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Man, Yarrow, we gotta come up with a way to keep you up to date!!...”

im sorry im in love with your berrifications

aND IM IN LOV WITH UR APPRECIATION also u

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Man, Yarrow, we gotta come up with a way to keep you up to date!!...”

iTSA MEEEEE!!!! MAAAANGO!!!

that visual tho...imagine

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “C: Hi there, Tide! T: Oh hey Calla! Need a pair of strong arms for...”

i love this start of a beautiful friendship based on video games and political conspiracy theories

:,) ah yes that is a thing smh tide (smh me and my eagerness to hav this fam in my save)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “C: Hi there, Tide! T: Oh hey Calla! Need a pair of strong arms for...”

tHE LAST GUAVA!!!!!!

PLAY ALL THE FRUIT GAMES

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “i’m sorry i just rly love them”

who are these kids Whomst

i dunno......i got them from this girl maybe you know her???? shes rly talented and rly good to me and idk how she deals with all the crap i put her sims in but shes rly nice shed fit your bill perfectly you should follow

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

i die at ficus stopping playing altogether (i already knew it but it still packs a punch to my gut)

s a m e

i guess hes just........good at giving up i cry

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

!!!!!!!!!! ok but wow i love how different they are in coping and how it feeds these bits of characterization of theirs!!

THAAAAAAAAAANK

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

a Blessed self insert!! 💖

she has to b good at it SOMEWHERE u kno!!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

yessss give me the girls being c u t e !!!!!

ofc my dude

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

idk this boy who is this

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

whomst

i cry i need to post them more because i lov this word so much

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

pls harm this nasty boy make him suffer

later, my friend, later

also i think most of the suffering will be up to you oops

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

This is truly how u kill a catii

i dunno you seem pretty alive to me still

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

Holy hell u deviants mind the kids!!

n e v e r you know the pool brings out That Side in them

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

!!!!!!!!!!! im weeping

:,)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “C: Mar? Are you gonna let go of me? M: Something tells me that our...”

!!!!!!! ur givin the catiis all they want i want to cry

G O O D IM GLAD I ADDED THIS

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “M: Charlotte! My agony aunt. It’s been far too long. Can I have a hug?...”

malmine kids whomst idk them

im just picturing you saying whomst and im loving it

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “M: Charlotte! My agony aunt. It’s been far too long. Can I have a hug?...”

💖💖💖💖💖💖

ALL THE HEARTS THEY APPRECIATE

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Guess what time it is!!”

!!!!!! its time to kill catii!!!!!!!

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “oK BUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT SCHOOL???”

my poor bb!

there’s two of them p l s they’re both sad pls be nice

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset

his face is still so PERF

i KNOW he’s truly timeless

simphonics replied to your photoset “And now this has turned into a couple photoshoot so it’s time to end...”

but they're adorable!

i know, but i didn’t rly have room or time for more of them :/ they’ll be back soon tho! as always

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “F: ✊ ✊ A: �� ”

they need to boink he has a terminal case of dast zadaning

looks like it there is No Hope i cry i should hav let them

pirouettingplumbobs replied to your photoset “F: ✊ ✊ A: �� ”

Awwwww missed these two

me too! sometimes i forget how much fun they were because all the generations have been so much fun ;_;

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “Dog looks great on you Aur! You should wear it more often.”

T I N Y

i KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW HE’S SO MUCH!!!

pixeldemographics replied to your post “i have a queue for today and tomorrow, and regular posting is picking...”

bUT THEN OH, REJOICE!! I CAN STILL SEEE YOUR POOOOOSTS

i cry i still dont hav a witty reply for this but this is definitely going in the top comments of 2018 maybe i should make that a thing

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Introducing Kumquat ♥”

LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS BOI I WANT TEN

what are u paying???

pixeldemographics replied to your photo “[[MOR] aaaaaaaaaaaaa f u c k ;_; this seriously made me cry the best...”

u are good enough no BUTS no IFS no NOTHING u rly are you dang gourd!!! and i do i do i do and thats the truth!!! ily my angel

[x]

#alfalfalegacy #ladyanyarose #pixeldemographics #simphonics #monets-pixels #twinsimskeletons #thatsimslove #pirouettingplumbobs #replies #non-sims #saviorhide

9 notes · View notes

survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 4: “Oh the classic dilemma of Survivor.” - Leanne

Ryan

I'm going to be honest, I'm not really gonna miss Tyler. I feel less bad about kicking him out now that I know he's played before. He was kinda cocky and reclusive- that's not the vibe we need in our tribe.

Najwah

I'm actually upset and really annoyed that no one else is willing to move their times so I can play too? And no one even acknowledged my message lol I started this game under the impression that people from all over the world would participate but instead I'm in a group with a bunch of Americans and I have to adjust my times EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. It is a lot. I feel like quitting. I mean what's the point? I've been struggling with depression for such a long time, it's been amplified by this Lockdown and being part of something, this whole make believe game brought me some kind of joy. Some light. However, being blatantly over looked and left out because its convenient for everyone else kinda sucks. I'm overlooked and left out of everything in real life too. I don't think this game is good for my mental health actually. I feel worthless and like shit and the person I thought had my back the most, Leanne, seems to be the most annoyed with me. She isnt even replying to me in our one on one chat. Guess she got everything she wanted out of me hey? I don't know whether any of this extra stress coupled with sleepless nights and zero concentration when doing my work is worth it?

Zack M

here i come again, carrying the tribe on my back like i always do. (dolly parton reference to "here you come again" ... available on spotify for those who don't know) this is the second time in a row that i stepped up for the team while everyone else was silent. like it's cool. i don't mind doing it for them as long as we win. it's not fair for me to be labeled as a threat because i do my best .... and that best happens to be sometimes better. idk. i'm just here to play. i don't feel the same drive from my teammates. yes. that's it. i'm here to play to win. they just want to win. nothing is going to change for me. i'm going to do every challenge. i'm going to come with the big moves. i'm going to hurt some feelings along the way. but i need to stay in the game to be able to do that. i'm truly scared i'm going to be blindsided if we don't win. COUGH COUGH IM SCARED IM GOING TO BE BLINDSIDED IF WE DONT WIN AND I DONT HAVE AN IMMUNITY IDOL FROM THE WISHING TREE COUGH COUGH ..... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now).

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovDd3CLqYos

Leanne

Have ya heard the news? Our tribe finally won a challenge! This is great news, and not just for the obvious, game/numbers related reasons. The night results were announced my Skype didn’t go off all night. All, night. I think there was a block of at least 12 hours straight I wasn’t looking at it. There was that gaming voice in my head that now and then would urge, you know, you really ought to check in with Aimee and see what she’s up to. You know, you had a conversation with James the other day, you better try building that up. But honestly, these last few days have been so peaceful I just didn’t want to. It was too nice being off line LOL. Of course, there still remains the difficulty that I still don’t know where the target is going to land. I had a check in with the “trio”... Ben and Zach. It was “I don’t know” all around. One of them said that the first person who threw out a name would probably be made a target themselves. So no one will talk about that, seemingly, until we lose. Of course, my individual preferences haven’t changed. I’d still like to see either Cody or Sarah go. Leaning toward Sarah at the moment because she seems more feasible. She wasn’t at our last tribal, she hadn’t checked in for a little while, and when we were getting ready to do the challenge last night most of us thought she wouldn’t be around. I was really hoping she wouldn’t show so that I could make a stronger case for that. Precedent shows that lack of presence is the go-to way to get yourself voted out. And I really don’t know who she’s with, if anyone. I haven’t really talked to her. Maybe I’ll float that idea to people today. Instinct tells me that I should get in before the challenge results are announced, because afterward, if we lose, people will be scrambling, and it could land most anywhere. But if I’m too aggressive with this I could be the one throwing names out there and it could backfire. Oh the classic dilemma of Survivor. In other news, Najwah and I have been working together on the idol hunt. She’s been talking to Cody, I’ve been talking to Zach, and so the question we are pondering is whether they’re giving us trustworthy information, both about the search and the game at large. I actually do believe that we’ve been completely upfront with each other and at this point I trust her as completely as anyone can trust in this game. She continues to be my very best ally and I hope we can keep working closely together as this goes on. It’s only hitting me now how hard it is to form impressions of the other tribe based on the info we have. I’ve been reviewing some of the tribal’s, there’s from yesterday and our last one, and the answers are canned enough and United enough that nothing is really said. Everyone in this cast knows we are here to play a social game, and that means not saying stupid things and trying not to make enemies, especially in these early stages. They look strong and unified. They had an easy vote and seem to like each other, which is very much to be expected. I can’t really gleam any subtext from what I saw. Odds are we are just as hard to read for them. We’ll just have to wait and see come merge time, or possibly swap time? At their tribal the question said there was “talk” of that as well. Here’s hoping I’m not the Johnny come lately to that discourse. But even if it is looming, not much to do about it till you get there. I don’t think that’s something you can necessarily pregame for. So there you have it. It’s been a refreshingly peaceful several days and let’s hope it continues. These results could go either way, and if it doesn’t go the way we want, well, then the game switches into the next gear. That would make me very worried for our numbers down the line, but more immediately we are probably all worried about our place at that point. I have no idea what will happen.

Ryan

I am not very happy by the fact that I will have no control in the fate of our tribe.I'm happy we voted Tyler out unanimously, he was someone we all, especially Pedro and I, agreed on very early. it's gonna be tough now moving forward, but I know who I don't want to vote out

Pedro A

So Today we have the challenge....Im scared if we go to tribal idk who will go

Alan B

Yes! I'm so glad we won - the next vote for our tribe is gonna be a tough one, i really hope making the only mistakes during this challenge doesnt come back to bite me! we won right how bad could it be...

Pedro A

WEEEE WONNNN....stream CLC, RED VELVET AND BLACKPINK...you know why?....cause we have the night offffff.....

Amy A

Another night off 🎉🎉🎉. I’m so ecstatic because there’s no name coming up for vote 2 yet so it could literally be anyone even though I think my alliances with people will carry me through. My alliance with Ryan and Pedro is still strong and I have secret alliances w Maddison, John, and Grae even though Grae’s is more shaky. Im going to go sleep with no worry in my mind at all. Maybe except for a tribe swap. Maola ROCKS and seeing us divided will break me 😭😭

Kalle N

I recently found out that John has been telling almost everyone that he trusts them 100% and not just me so I'm working on making a big move to get him out next time we go to tribal (even though I love him and he has been one of my closest allies this entire game). He's just too charming and close with everyone

Maddison

Hi confessional. Really hoping I didn’t just brand myself a threat during that challenge but I’m glad I could redeem myself from the telephone game. I’ve had new people want to work with me within the thirty minutes following, and I can’t tell yet how legitimate their inquiries are. But hey, that’s Survivor.

Zack M

jesus christ. there is so much going on right now. we lost again. whomp whomp. but again, i like losing. it let's me know where everyone's head is at. i'll face the consequences later. i want to flush the idol out but no one seems to be with me. i think either aimee or leanne has it. i want to say aimee to leanne and najwah and leanne to aimee because i know they will tell each other, one of them will use it, and then cody sarah ben james and i vote najwah. bye idol. bye to one of their numbers. 2 against 5, there's nothing they can do. BUT NO. so then najwah reaches out to me and calls me the tribe leader. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. clap clap. she sees right though me BUT she is letting me stay? it really is such a bad game move for her. i feel so bad. so najwah started the "hunt alliance" with me cody and leanne. leanne threw out sarah's name so we are going to pretend to go with that. but now the target is leanne in hopes that we just flush the idol out by vote. i think this is dumb and is going to fuck us over but like maybe people are legit. i really have no idea. and now there's a group with everyone besides sarah. i feel so bad. sarah, you're not going anywhere so don't you even worry! i think my plan is the safest but like no one listens to the TRIBE LEADER.

Cody A

Full disclosure y’all, Im just going to preface this confession with the simple fact that I am UNWELL! I just ask that y’all bare with this confession!! It could be as bad as Nick Cannons (very brief) rap career.. on Sunday one of my close friends took her own life.. and It has been difficult to separate this game from real life. In the real game of survivor I’d be stuck in Fiji with no information from the outside world.. so i am trying to navigate this game and real life at the same time. That being said: this vote could be very simple or VERRRRRY complicated. The plan is for our group of 6 “JESS” to tell aimee, Leanne, and naj, that everyone is voting Sarah.

THATS NOT HAPPENING!!! SARAH (NOT LACINA) IS MY NUMBER 1 & I WILL PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS!!! Initially it seemed Zack was adamant about voting Naj our and not Leanne???? but I think I did a really great job of convincing him she is a huge threat! (Gotta save my girl Naj!) The real plan is for JESS to put all of our votes on Leanne, who still has yet to have a conversation with me. I feel like I am in a great position but I do not want to get comfortable!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oz7uKVXHzI&feature=youtu.be

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH8nJmP6vhE&feature=youtu.be

Leanne

So we lost, again... just great. First there was nothing. Then the trio chat with Ben and Zach got together to exchange obligatory commiserations and giant shrugs. Then Najwah got in touch. Neither of us heard anything. She actually said because of this she just assumed it was her; I’ll get more into this in a bit. As of now she’s the one I trust The most, so I asked her how close she was to Sarah. Turns out, not very. She wanted to start a group chat with Zach and Cody, for the dual purpose of getting that plan together and for comparing info about the idol hunt. So we do that. After a few more rounds of circling the question of what do you think I said to the group that Sarah doesn’t seem to be available a lot or connecting with people. We agreed, and Zach suggested we get the rest of the tribe together, sans Sarah, in another chat to lock it in. This is after Zach and I said Ben would be in, and Cody said James would be in, and I don’t remember how but somehow Aimee was accounted for. The only other person left was James. My thinking, which both Zach and Cody seemed to share, was that it was better to risk James being close to Sarah than to get him upset by leaving him out.

Throughout the whole thing, Najwah seemed to have an abnormally high degree of caution and concern. She really wants to feel people out first before she does anything, which I don’t think is possible all the time. What if James is talking to Sarah? What if Sarah has an idol? What if the other four have an alliance? Not sure if it’s just me but she seemed to be doing a lot of what if’s, all valid ones but just a lot. She raised some other concern to me in a private chat and I answered her something along the lines of, it’s good to look before you leap but nothing is a sure thing and we have to take a few risks and be ok with not being certain. Well anyway, the larger group chat gets made. But as I’m making the conversation, the talk in the idol hunt chat, that is, the foursome that was just planning the Sarah vote, switches to what people are finding in the idol search. Now, this is a good thing. We did want to compare notes on that so we at least know where not to go. But not at that moment. Because when I started the larger group chat with James, Ben and Aimee, they of course wanted to know what the plan was. This left me all alone to ask them how they felt about Sarah as a target. I really could’ve used backup from Najwah, Zach and Cody in that moment, but instead they were talking about coins and advantages. Again, that’s a good thing, but in that moment, to the other three it almost looked like I unilaterally decided that. It looks like I got everybody together completely on my own and said, hey everybody, here’s what I decided we’re going to do.

Now, from my perspective Sarah was completely my idea, but that’s only my side of the story and I don’t know what other people were saying, and I have no wish to appear to be a dictator. Fortunately for me no one seemed to talk to Sarah at all. The consensus was her contact was brief and spotty and she was away too often to have built any meaningful connections anywhere. So it looks like it will work out and be easy again. Well, at least that’s what it looks like to me. We’ll see. The other good news is that we do have an idol task force. I found out the jacket is a 10% advantage in a challenge; good to know. Also the jewelry box was taken. No word on who took it, but that costs 20 coins. A theory I saw discussed was that someone shared coins or else Amy bequeathed at least five of them upon her exit. I don’t see that as being likely.

There’s got to be at least one more source of coins besides the two known to the group. Seems like we’ve been looking and coming up empty an awful lot. Not sure how candid the group members are being but at least we have an open line of communication about this. I was very annoyed because I felt abandoned by them to deal with the other three but that wasn’t done on purpose, and having this search party is a very good thing. At the very least we can help each other avoid disadvantages. Also, after we talked about Sarah, Aimee messaged me privately, saying she was leaning that way too, and we talked for a little bit. She seems to be talking in these little bursts to most everyone but at least it’s a relationship with potential to be built up further. So to me it looks like we’ve got an agreement and it’s Sarah and it was fairly easy. Of course, they could flip on me, and there’s an off a lot of time before tribal tomorrow, but like I just told Najwah, nothing is certain and we won’t always have every bit of the facts when we make a decision. All I can do is talk to folks, make a plan, and see what happens.

Aimee

Najwah just messaged me saying “So what do you guys want to do?” Except she just sent that message to me. Individually. “Guys,” plural, with an “s.” 👀👀👀👀

Zack M

im going to feel like an asshole tomorrow if i'm not blindsided and the plan goes the way we want it to. i've had a beautiful conversation with najwah tonight and i hope she doesn't think it was all for the game tomorrow when we vote her number 1 (leanne) out. najwah if you're reading this, i'm so sorry. this is a cruel game. i've loved every minute of getting to know you and our conversations! you're an awesome person and i hope you don't hold anything i may do to you against me. i would absolutely love to stay friends with her outside of this game. i just needed to put this in writing before i possibly hurt feelings tomorrow. again, she did call me the leader of the tribe. i would get rid of me if i was them so like anything is possible.

Pedro A

today im going to talk with alan, kalle and olivia

Sarah

Well, the general consensus is to vote me out tonight at tribal because I haven’t been as available this week which is TRUE since I haven’t had service much on my vacation. Leanne threw my name out and everyone “agreed” I was an easy vote. I am trusting my alliance of 5 in Jess (Zack, Ben, Cody, James) and we are voting Leanne. I do have an idol BUT I definitely do not want to play it tonight. Right now, I trust my alliance but if things get suspicious or Cody tells me that Zack or Ben have flipped I will play my idol tonight. To be continued....

Ryan

That stupid idol hunt and the disadvantage is gonna get me kicked out I just know it. F#*k me.

Olivia A

The first vote went smoothly! Except for the fact that Tyler voted for me. My only worry is that he might’ve discussed/decided that vote with someone else. I’m not too worried though because I still feel really solid with the people I’m aligned with.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJd1QSw04ak&feature=youtu.be

John B

Thanks to Maddison we won another challenge and honestly bless because I really don’t know who would have gone next. I found out Ryan got a disadvantage for the tribe while idol hunting and I know, Olivia knows, and I’m probably gonna mention it to Grae and Kalle that Olivia told me. Right now I think if we had to go to tribal it might be Alan or Ryan but I honestly have no clue. Alan has the idol which is a good reason to boot them, and if I can get rid of Ryan that will break up the outsiders alliance. The challenge had me scream laughing because I think Kalle and I share a brain. Literally all of our clues were vines and we shared them at the exact same time. I would love to get an alliance going with Kalle Madison Grae and Olivia, I’m just worried Maddison and Grae will get weirded out to have an alliance outside of the core four without Pedro. If it happens I will have Kalle start it up so I don’t look sus. I am v curious to see what the other tribe does for the next vote seeing as the last one was unanimous. Honestly they kind of scare me.

James Hayden

It's two hours before tribal and neither Leanne or Naj have messaged the group to confirm that Sarah's going home. Either they are over confident in their plan and feel no need to confirm or they are planning something else. I'm praying to the Survivor ORG gods it's the first one!!

Cody A

I have bonded with Naj so much these last couple of days. I feel like a horrible person for leaving her out of the Leanne vote, but perhaps I’m the one being left out of a different plan 🤷🏼‍♂️ This game is exhausting 😂

Ben Kessler

Here's my worry: Survivor is not a numbers game, it is a people game. And the people on my tribe are crazy, but I like crazy. I work with crazy. Leanne, Naj, and Aimee are hopefully on the outs. Leanne will hopefully be eliminated tonight. I fear an expansion at 15 and if this happens I will need to throw my tribe under the bus in order to fit in...slowly, subtly, and methodically. The other tribe is not battle tested and neither are we, so my new objective is to ensure that I am under the radar while speaking enough to have my voice in any group. Leanne is most likely of those 3 have an idol, but I would not be surprised if somebody in my alliance had the idol as well. Either way, as long as I survive I am happy. Najwah The last time I wrote a confession, I was having a really horrible day. I was ready to quit but I think after some rest and a good venting session, my head is back in the game.

Leanne, Cody, Zack and I have solidified our alliance. I hope. I thought people would want to vote me out because I haven't been participating and I wouldn't be offended or surprised if they do. Tribal tonight is going to be interesting. Someone has an idol. Or SOMETHING. The jewelery box is missing. I love Cody but I don't know why I suspect he has something to do with it. I have a feeling in my gut. Don't know whether he is double crossing us. Also, Zack said he'd stay on the mountain and then he told us he bought a jacket in the market place. Is my alliance actually working to get me out and blindside me? Lmao I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL. we are all survivor superfans. We all know how the game works. Convincing everyone to vote Sarah was WAY too easy last night. Sarah also seems wayyyyy too comfortable. She doesn't bother talking to people much or she's playing a really excellent low key game. Either way, I commend her and whatever she's up to. I don't know what I think of Ben and James yet They're way too chilled and seem to go with the flow but I know they have their own flow. And they are working together on something. I hope tonight's vote is as easy as people think, even though my gut is screaming that we are in for some huge surprise.

Sarah

Maddison

Fell out of a tree idol hunting this morning. Big win out here in Tierra del Fuego for Maddison!

james hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npTEWU0Hv5s

Zack M

we are about to go into another tribal to vote someone out and i'm so irritated right now. the plan is to vote out leanne because she may have an idol but she hasn't done anything all day long. najwah is literally messaging EVERYONE but is too scared to throw out a name. she wants to make big moves but can't and needs someone to do it for her. this scares me more than leanne because i'm close with her. ben and i have a trio chat with her. we could easily swoop in and say omg i'm so sorry after and make things ok if there is a tribe swap. leaving najwah gives cody the upper hand. i need the control. speaking of cody. cody and sarah have already early voted. i'm sorry but this just should not be allowed. this game is taking up a lot of time but welcome to survivor. we're all tired and don't want to be doing this on a saturday but here i am. i swear my team keeps losing because none of them are giving 100% like i am. tyler should have been on this tribe and i should have been on the other.

the only person i feel safe with right now is ben. james is a close second.

fingers crossed i don't get blindsided.

Grae G

Hello ok!! So I’m currently on good ground w everyone in the game but I want to solidify bonds w kalle Olivia and Maddison. I feel these people really trust me so I want to make sure they trust me. It’s become clear to me that every person in the game feels closest to John. He’s telling everyone different info and I’ve caught him in several lies- I’m not sure what I want to do about it yet. But as soon as I see an opportunity I’m gunning for him. But if I can’t swing it then maybe Ryan as an easy next vote bc he admitted to me he got us the disadvantage lol.

#episodes

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

Text

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Subtext

So i saw Cats. I had to know if it really was as bad as everyone says. It is. It’s terrible. It’s literally one of the worst films i have have ever seen but for different reasons than publicized. I plan to describe every short coming this film proudly presents, at length. Before we get into why it’s so goddamn awful, there are certain things that deserve recognition.

The Good

Cats is kind of ambitious. I like that they decided to build actual sets to scale. There is a sense of realness to this world and you have to this movie that i didn’t expect.

The actual effects on the cats, themselves, are pretty legit once you get outside of that uncanny valley. Like, the process to create those fur suits was ridiculous. It’s every bit as impressive as what Cameron did with Avatar. The theory of those cats i mean.

Francesca Hayward is pretty dope in this. She’s a great singer, brilliant dancer, and absolutely gorgeous. If this were a play, it would have been dope. If they would have used actual makeup and sh*t, it wold have been dope. choosing the way they decoded to present this sh*t? A waste. This was a waste of Francesca’s talent.

Jennifer Hudson singing Memory was f*cking incredible. I’m told the version she sang on one of those reality talent shows was much better, so i googled it, and it was. So much better. Still, the one they decided to film was decent. Hudson is one of the best singers of her generation and Memory has ample opportunity to belt out them emotional notes.

You can tell Tom Hooper had a passion for this material. Like, he wanted to make this grandiose film based on the garish play. That’s going to come back to bite him in the ass overall, but it’s nice to see a director making something that the actually loves.

The Bad

Literally everything else. his entire film is, quite literally, one of the worst films i have ever seen in my entire life. There is just SO much wrong with this thing. So goddamn much. Every decision made during this production was wrong and it’s kind of amazing.

First and foremost, why the f*ck did they choose to portray the Cats the way that did? These things are HIDEOUS! I mean, uncanny valley, for sure, but i’ve seen enough films and played enough games not to be unnerved by bad graphics. But this? this sh*t is so much more than that. These little cat people things are unforgivably odious in so many ways. I’m not going to get into the way they have people hands or can’t decide to be bipedal or how ridiculous they look on all fours. No, my thing is the way the faces are integrated into the fur suit. That’s not makeup. It’s legit CG. They tried to emulate the Cats Broadway makeup in a more realistic way and it misses the mark by a long shot. They’re gross. Gross and weird. Your main characters are gross and weird to look at.

Bro, these cats are constantly f*cking Like, all of the time. It’s not outright but you can tell they are constantly making with the coitus, figuratively. I’m pretty sure there’s a catnip fuels orgy there toward the end? Middle? i don’t know. I thought maybe it was just, you know, Hooper being cheeky in the beginning but then Jason Derulo, f*cking Rum Tum Tugger, shows up and just simulates the f*ck while Rebel Wilson cat, quite literally, makes overtly objectifying about Tugger’s tugger. It’s gross and weird.

Everything is washed in neon lights and i don’t understand why. The majority of this film supposed to take place at night so it make sense that there would be neon signs and everything but. even indoors, during that big Taylor Swift number, fluorescent neon lights. It’s unnerving and grates on the eyes, man. You put in all this work to create these detailed sets and thing but then immediately erased the detail by saturating it in artificial, scathingly colored, light? Really, dude?

There is no substance to this film. There is no character growth, no pathos, no stakes. Nothing. It’s a bunch of dance numbers introducing a bunch of asshole cats, looking to be ritually murdered. That’s it. That’s the entire plot. One cat wants to be murdered more than all the others so he’s kidnapping the competition to be the only option left for sacrifice. That’s stupid when you hear it like that, right? Because it is. Cats is stupid. Giving it that big budget, Hollywood Oscar bait treatment doesn’t change any of that stupid. The play Cats is fundamentally retarded so how could the movie version not be? I hate films that never grow, that never have resolution but this sh*t doesn’t even have anything to resolve. It’s a literal waste of time and my time is actually valuable.

Im not going to get into the many, many, MANY plot contrivances because then i’d have to actually think about this movie instead of just referencing the notes i already took down. I did the work beforehand and i do not want to revisit this feline hellscape any time ever. That said, nothing makes f*cking sense in this move. There are Jellical cats, magic cats, gangster cats, thief cats; it’s all over the place. Motherf*ckers are in cahoots with the main villain cat and when the does a villainous thing, they are all, “ We didn’t know he was a villain.” Really? Magic cat is magic but literally doesn’t us it until the plot absolutely demands it making that use that cat the definition of deus ex machina. Like, they’re not even clever about it. It’s actually insulting how blatant it is.

Interesting enough, outside of Memory, the music in this musical is forgettable. I can’t name one song from this thing that sticks with me. I still remember the first few lines to the opening song of Sweeney Todd. I can sing to you the colors of the wind. Hakuna Matata means no worries. I can show you the world. We’re of to see the wizard. I bet you know those songs. Bet you don’t even know the original track Swift and Webber wrote for this fart of a film.

The writing in this thing is f*cking putrid, man. The source material is sh*t and i didn’t expect anything great from an adaption but this? I expected more than this. Nothing makes sense. The dialogue is, one could say stylized but i’d say it’s dumb. This sh*t is dumb. Nothing feels organic, especially at the end. That whole situation with Judi Dench accepting Francesca James into her little weird stray cat cult was all cringe, no love. Everything said in this ridiculous movie is cringe. It’s just a goddamn cringefest! Seriously, the writing in this “movie’ is about as good as the writing in a Michael Bay flick. It’s that bad.

This movie has some of the most uninspired camera work i have ever seen in my entire life. It’s shot like a play; A single camera, centered on the shot, with no dynamism at all. There’s no pans or strafe or anything of that nature which works if you’re filming a play but this ain’t a play. It’s a film. Take Sweeney Todd for example. That’s how you make a film musical. West Side Story is another decent example. F*ck, that one movie with Gosling and Stone, La La Land? Yeah, even THAT one was shot dynamically. it was shot like a f*cking film. An even better example? the Les Miserables example. That Hooper, himself, shot! You did this once before and got Oscar for it. The f*ck happened? Yu forget hoe to make movies or something?

While i’m on Hooper, the f*ck kind of direction is any of this? It’s terrible! All of these performances, outside of Jason Derulo who was truly awful but brought a very refreshing energy to his nonsense, were uninspired. Like, they all just kind of went through the motions, you know? tom Hooper had been trying to get this film made for years and THIS was what he was able to muster? With THAT cast? are you f*cking serious??

Now, i lauded Francesca Hayward in her performance as Victoria, and that is legitimate praise, but everyone else in this thing is sh*t. Like, James as spectacular in her role, but her role is sh*t. That’s the ebb and flow of this movie. One thing is decent, but it’s mired in sh*t. James is gorgeous in real life and you see a bit of that in Victoria’s face but Victoria is a computer generated monstrosity and this movie insists upon reminding you of that every time she does anything with her face It’s weird and gross, man.

Speaking of probably brilliant performances mired by the outright sh*ttiness of the visual aesthetic in this clusterf*ck masquerading as cinema, i’m pretty sure Rebel Wilson has a beautiful voice. I wouldn’t know for sure because they limited her character to kind of a terrible lounge lizard set piece full of cockroaches and baby mice. I got a whole eyeful of her cat puss though. Thanks for that, assholes.

Another anecdotal performance that it thought might have been really good belonged to Idris Elba but i think his shortcoming had more to do with the character writing that screen time. Elba is almost always brilliant in any role he accepts and dude is musically incline, Elba was once a DJ and raps wonderfully if you didn’t know, so i can see them throwing a hip-hop curve to Macavity that could have worked if approached with respectful aplomb. Nope. This motherf*cker is a campy goober in a fur coat and a derby. Macavity is the main villain if this entire bullsh*t and i’m supposed to be afraid of him when he looks like a brown, nude, 70s style pimp with cat ears? For Real?

Jame Corden is the goddamn worst. That’s it. That’s the grievance. James Corden is the goddamn worst.

Why was Jason Derulo in this? He’s a singer, not a film actor, which is easier than being a theater actor. Dude just acts like he’s in a music video. Like, i’m watching his little set pieces or whatever and all i see is 90s Usher, dancing to My Way or some sh*t.

Why was Taylor Swift in this movie? I mean, i know why. They promised her a chance to win win an Oscar with an original song, that’s why. Hooper thought this thing was going to sweep the Oscars but this it sh*t the bed in theaters. it probably should have sh*t Swift out before production, though. She’s kind of awful.

And then there’s the two most egregious offenses in this entire film; The casting of Dame Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen. These are Actors. They are Oscar caliber talent, Dench winning several while McKellen being nominated twice. Both of these individuals have a background IN theater. Hell, Dame Dench was cast as Girsabella in the original 80s run but had to drop out due to injury! They live this life! How are they so goddamn awful in this movie??

The Verdict

I said this in the beginning but Cats is one of the worst films i have ever seen in my entire f*cking life. I feel like there were more decent performances in this thing, Idris Elba was probably fantastic, bit the material the had to perform and the god-awful cat effects just wash over anything these actors can possibly do. Who is this for? Why are all of these cats so f*cking horny? What was the point of this aimless journey Hooper took us on? There are no answer for anything, which is hilarious, because this movie asks no questions. It asks nothing of the audience. It just kind of happens to you. I reference the writing being as terrible as a Michael Bay film but Cats IS a Michael Bay film. If you replace the dance numbers with explosions or creepy shots of Francesca Hayward’s butt, and it’s Revenge of the Fallen. Straight up Bayhem in a fur suit.

Cats is vapid, superficial, and insists upon itself. This movie thinks it’s more than what it is and believes it should be recognized when, in reality, it’s lowest common denominator film making and should be forgotten. This thing was constructed to swoon over the Academy but it ends up grossing out the audience. Cats is hollow and a waste of time while being one of the most visually revolting experiences i have ever had the displeasure of enduring. Do not watch this film unless you want to be angry you wasted damn near two hours of your time. Also, it’s ugly.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Cats

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smokeybrand · 4 years

Text

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Subtext

The Good

Cats is kind of ambitious. I like that they decided to build actual sets to scale. There is a sense of realness to this world and you have to this movie that i didn’t expect.

The Bad

Jame Corden is the goddamn worst. That’s it. That’s the grievance. James Corden is the goddamn worst.

The Verdict

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