#like maybe if the litter cabinet works i’ll move it into my room

[wizardrights]

we have very little space in our apartment and my roommate doesn’t like the litter box in the living room and NEITHER DO I but we already have one in the bathroom and having it in my room was driving me crazy so anyway i got a litter cabinet and a deodorizer to put in it and i’m hoping so hard that’ll help with the frustration we’re having about it out in the living space. if anyone has any suggestions pls let me know. ugh

[theyjusthowl]

WIP Monday

I'm trying out a new thing to be more consistent with my writing, so maybe my beta won't have to wait a month for the next installment of this WIP from hell.

I'm currently working on a Sterek longfic that somehow got away from me and is now 50k of pure hurt/comfort, and this is one of my favorite scenes, so cue the angst.

---

Lydia says, “We could use a place of our own.”

Her gaze hungrily prowls around Derek’s loft like it’s Versailles, as sterile and empty as it looks. The cheap pieces of sparse furniture he bought to appease Stiles back when they were together remain the only clue that this space has been lived in.

She knows his bedroom is still presided by a bare mattress and a busted alarm system.

Peter hears, “Derek could use a place for himself.”

His mind helpfully supplies, one that’s not littered with phantoms.

Isaac broaches the subject with Derek, one morning, in the small office space of the warehouse, as Derek works on an invoice.

“All I’m saying, Derek, is that the pack could benefit from a bigger place,” he says, towering over the desk. “I could move back in if we had enough room for everyone. You don’t have to sell the loft, you’re still running your business from here so maybe turn it into a decent office space?” He moves his arm in a sweeping motion. “This is still a great headquarters. Keep a guest bedroom in case you end up working late.”

Derek nods. He thinks of the key he gave Stiles, two years ago, the last time he asked him to not to leave them behind.

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll talk to Peter, see if he can find a plot of land that’s to his liking.” He stacks a thin ream of papers on top of a folder, closes it and stands. He files it away in a cabinet behind him and looks at Isaac. “Are we done?”

Isaac leaves the warehouse triumphant.

Peter donates the Hale property to Beacon County to do as they please, on the condition that no private businesses are to be raised on the extensive terrains. They set up a few cabins for lost campers and a small wildlife shelter. Scott is more than happy to volunteer as often as college will allow; Isaac fixes a coyote’s paw after the animal stepped on a pine needle and tells the whole pack approximately twenty times before Derek snarls half-heartedly to stop, for fuck’s sake.

The Sheriff finds a parcel, just fifteen minutes from the western border of the preserve, and it’s not exactly Beacon Hills but it isn’t anywhere else either and still within the county limits, which is apparently relevant for werewolf politics. He makes sure to push forward the copious amounts of red tape and Jackson hooks them up with a magnificently expensive and completely booked contractor, probably under duress. He’s still hell bent on crawling back into Lydia’s good graces. They raise the pale, solid bones of the house in two weeks.

It’s still three more months of plaster and tiles and wood boards and hanging wires before the smooth walls wrap around the house. They’re bare, but the light shines through the windows and bathes the stark white rooms and the sandy floorboards in a warm glow. Cora stands in the middle of the foyer, right under the big skylight, and imagines the first full moon run starting and ending right there.

Lydia commandeers Derek’s soccer mom SUV a little too gleefully and Peter side eyes her, unsettled for the first time in many years. She chooses all the furniture, the decorations, the full works, and Derek pays, only mildly infuriated. Scott sends Lydia a few pictures he took during the house works. Isaac is in all of them, front and center. She chooses one of Derek and Isaac going over the blueprints on a makeshift table, with a few workers lifting the first panel off the floor; she wraps it and gives it to him as a housewarming gift and Derek smiles and runs his fingers over the silver carvings and the edge of the frame.

The last screws are tightened into place the first week of June, and Peter brings in a landscaper to finish up the backyard. There’s one room though, and Derek won’t allow anyone in. Isaac thinks it’s a sanctuary, some sort of hideaway. It’s probably full of the stuff that survived the fire and what little he salvaged from Laura’s apartment in New York, and no one gives it further thought. If Derek wants to be left alone, they can only oblige.

The construction crew wraps up just in time for the summer of their third year. Isaac is unrelenting about a housewarming party. Derek acquiesces, on the condition that Cora and Peter tend to the barbeque.

Just about everyone Derek knows drops by: Lydia tells Allison, and she comes with Chris Argent and Melissa McCall, who somehow make it work, despite having the odds stacked against them. She’s been doing diplomatic work, restoring the Argents’ reputation as fair hunters, writing treaties for warring packs. Lydia fawns over the engagement ring on her finger and Scott hugs her warmly, the same old puppy eyes he used to put on for her, but it’s friendly and Derek knows that he’s sincere in his congratulations, genuinely happy that she’s happy. Isaac tackles her the moment he sees her, picks her up in the air and twirls her in a bone crushing hug. They catch up over a beer, Isaac casually leaning on Scott, with that unaffected demeanor of his. Scott’s hand wanders, subtly scenting Isaac. Isaac’s eyes go soft. Allison smiles and nods and hugs them both.

They’re all out back, milling around the yard. Derek watches on as he grabs two beers from the fridge. One for him, one for the Sheriff. Over the years, they’ve come to a quiet understanding, one reserved for family. Derek calls him Noah now. Noah is still convinced that they’re just one tiny hiccup away from being family. Derek’s not so sure. He entertains him, though, and more importantly, doesn’t pester him about his eating habits.

He leaves through the kitchen and finds Noah talking to Melissa, hands him his beer. They talk about the Mets’ performance, Derek nods along enthusiastically. Then they switch to cars; Melissa’s old sedan has finally given up and she’s looking to buy. Noah tells her he knows just the guy and claps Derek’s back, laughing.

When the initial bustle winds down a bit, Derek offers to do a house tour for Noah.

“They’ve all seen it, helped build and decorate,” he explains offhandedly. “Isaac’s moving in next week.”

He walks Noah through the kitchen, the living room, the study on the ground floor. He points to the basement door offhandedly. “It’s empty now, but we’ll find a use for it. Let’s show you upstairs.”

The upper floor consists of an open space that overlooks the foyer, and a corridor littered with doors. Derek points towards them. “Plenty of room for everyone up here. Peter insisted. Extended packs live together,” he explains.

Derek stays behind while the Sheriff ventures into the room to the far right end of the corridor. The room that’s off-limits to everyone else.

The walls are painted a soft shade of slate gray, with a white upper trim. To the left, a double door awaits, wide open, leading to the master bath. There is no back wall, just a continuum of floor to ceiling glass panels overlooking a deck that wraps around the corner of the building and continues behind the right-hand wall. In the distance, the woods get denser. The view is breath-taking and the sun shines high in the sky. It’s the perfect spot to watch the sunset over the forest.

There is just no furniture. Not a single piece in sight.

“It’s the master bedroom” Noah notes, words carefully measured. “It’s empty.”

Derek chuckles lowly and stares him back bemusedly. “I have no use for it. The architect insisted. He had a vision.”

“He might have been on to something,” Noah says.

He walks further into the room and waits for Derek to join him.

“It’s proofed, I assume.”

Derek nods. “Sound and scent.”

“Ah,” Noah sighs. “That explains that.”

Right there, on the right hand corner, the only clue that this room has a purpose lays in plain sight. There’s a wooden clothes rack. Neatly zipped on a hanger, Stiles’ lacrosse hoodie presides the room. It reads Stilinski, 23, and it looks well worn. The sun coming in through the back wall casts a long shadow on the floor.

(Just as Isaac had suspected, it is, in some ways, a sacred space.)

[bunkerbucky]

Casual Sabotage *Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Reader is hit with sex pollen. Except she doesn't crave her boyfriend, Steve Rogers. No, it's his best friend, Bucky Barnes, that she wants inside of her. Bucky, in the beginning, is a good bro and refuses. But due to the fact she sucks his dick so good he kinda, sorta, loses that restraint and just fucks her regardless of who she belongs to.

Rating: Explicit [+18]

Warnings: Sex pollen= Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Rough blow-job, rough oral-sex, vaginal sex, praise kink, breeding kink, size kink- Bucky has a big dick in this lmao, choking and biting kink, infidelity; Reader cheats on Steve. 

TW: Dub-con- Reader is under sex pollen, so she actually cannot give consent and also because Bucky is so resistant in the beginning. It turns consensual on Bucky's part, he gives in to the temptation. But, obviously, reader is still influenced so... the lines are blurred.

Yourself and Bucky had searched the Hydra base from tippy-top to bottom. There was nothing out of the ordinary, which infuriated you a little. With the amount of recon work you both had to do, the long nights of watching the agents coming and going, you felt like you both deserved a small win, at least.

A long sigh escaped from your lips as Bucky's fingers typed furiously on the computers keyboard, a USB stick in hand just in case he found something exciting. Your arms were crossed over your chest, eyes scanning around the bases' security room, roaming the shelves and cabinets that held nothing of importance. A week of nothing, you wanted to cry.

"Hmm," Bucky low hum attracted your attention, "It says there's a basement to this building, we haven't checked that out." His steel eyes look over the screen and at you, you respond with a shrug of your shoulders. "We've got two hours before the cavalry arrives to pick us up, let's explore and see if we can obtain something to keep from Rogers from complainin'"

You giggle slightly at Bucky's comment, nodding in agreement with him. Steve would have a lot to say if you went back empty-handed, especially since he sent you both rather than himself. But you couldn't lie and say the thought of seeing Steve after so long didn't excite you. You had missed your boyfriend dearly, you weren't allowed on missions together since finally making things official. Work ethics and all that jazz.

Instead, you and Bucky had started to partner up, Steve didn't trust anyone but himself, and Bucky, to keep an eye out for you. Who better to watch over his best girl than his best friend, plus Bucky was your friend before you got with Steve.

"What if we go down there and there's a great, big monster waiting for us?" Sliding into the small elevator beside Barnes.

Bucky looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, "Then I'll be throwing you out as a distraction, so I can press the elevator door button to leave."

You both ended up laughing at his response, although when the doors finally did open and reveal a darkened basement layer... there was a moment of silence, you both side-eyeing one another at the lack of sound and movement.

Bucky stepped off first and the automatic lighting triggered him to pull his gun from its holster, his reflexes sharp and fast. You step off and follow Bucky down the hall towards double doors, the room through those doors was abandoned and huge. Desks with old computers, all smashed and out of use. Stacks of files and paper scattered on desks and the floor. Despite the mess, it all looks really promising, there had to be something amongst the chaos.

You both separate to cover more ground, you only had a limited time before you had to leave. You looked through paper and files, shuffling through stacks of meaningless bullshit. Hydra certainly kept a record of everything, including all the worthless crap. You wondered if they actually printed this stuff to lead you guys on wild goose chases like this, to make sure you were distracted with searching for something important amongst all their bullshit.

You ended up in the far back of the room, a small desk area had random empty vials littered across it. Files labelled in Russian, that you couldn't translate very well.

"Hey, Buck," You called over your shoulder as you lifted an empty vial, a cork tightly shoved in the top; curious. "Think I might've found something."

The vial itself was black, not black liquid, the vial was just black. It didn't feel weighted, it didn't feel like anything was moving inside of it. So, curiosity got the best of you because you yanked the cork off the vial. Black smoke puffed out and into your face causing you to inhale and go into a coughing fit. Waving your arms in front of your face, coughing at the inhalation of whatever was inside that vial.

It smelt like... old leather, peppermint toothpaste and...something else, like a deep musk. Odd.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bucky suddenly appeared at your side, a hand placed on your back and eyeing you with concern. He then grabbed the vial from your hand, it was clear and no longer black. "What happened?"

Your coughing had subsided, you felt fine. "I think there was some kind of smoke or whatever in there, I don't know. The black stuff just burst out, I was stupid-"

"Damn, right." Bucky looked mad, which was a given. "Hydra is known for making gas poisons, Y/N. That was a rookie move, never open strange vials." He didn't sound too mad at you, a little more concerned and worried.

You nodded, frowning when feeling the back of your neck sweating. You felt... hot. A sweat was taking over your body, your mouth was getting dry and your mind was going fuzzy. Bucky hadn't noticed, his eyes cast down to the Russian files on the desk, his hand flipping through the old pages and taking the information in with wide eyes. You briefly wondered if whatever is written in that file had anything to do with that vial.

"Fuck," Bucky muttered.

"What?" Your throat was scratchy, your breathing was becoming laboured and your palms were sweaty.

You didn't feel hot, though. You didn't feel sick either.

"Well, I'm guessing whatever was in that vial was... to put it plainly, sex pollen. It makes the patient unable to think of anything but sex, all they want and all they feel is lust. It's basically either used to breed or on prisoners- the pain of not getting off thoroughly enough can lead to the patient taking extreme measures: death." He shakes his head, you don't notice the horrified look In his eyes at the thought of maybe it being used on him when under Hydra's control. "You're likely fine, though."

"I wouldn't be so sure," You managed to gasp out, your thighs squeezing together and eyes closed, you wanted to feel embarrassed but you couldn't. "My head is spinning and, fuck, I need to get this off. I feel too hot, I'm burnin' up." Clawing at the collar of your own tact suit, your hands were shaking and you couldn't bring yourself to look at Bucky.

You wanted to look at him though. You knew he was standing close to you because you could smell him, he smelt like the black smoke did. He smelt delicious, intoxicating in the best way. God, you wanted him so badly. You needed him.

"It's going to be okay, Y/N. I promise, we'll get you back to Steve and he can-"

You shook your head and finally pulled the zipper down of your jacket, shrugging the bulletproof material off your shoulders.

"Need you." You managed to mumble out, lifting your gaze to Bucky, who was frowning and shaking his head. "Please, Buck. I need you! I can feel my skin crawling and-I'm in so much pain, please." Your voice a mix between a whine and beg.

"I can't- you're not thinking properly. Steve will be here soon and he can help you, he's your boyfriend, remember?"

You pulled the black, tight sleeved henley from your body and let it drop to the floor, it covered in sweat. You're standing in a sports bra and tact pants, chest heaving as you try to intake gulps of oxygen from your panting. Even with half your clothes off you still felt sweat bead and drip down your skin.

"I can't wait that long," You sniffled but no tears forming. "Please, I want you-I've always wanted you. You read the file, I'm going to die!"

Bucky continued to shake his head. "I won't do that Steve. It says that it took a couple of hours till that point, Steve'll be here soon and I'll explain to him what happened."

You groaned painfully, shaking your own head now. Not understanding why he couldn't just help you now. You were in immense pain and the throbbing heat in your core wasn't letting up.

You didn't want Steve to help you. You didn't need Steve to help you, it wasn't just because he wasn't here. You wanted Bucky. The smell of him, the heat radiating off his body when it was close to yours. You craved for him to touch you, to fuck you. You were sure the moment he touched you that the pain would ease, the flames that were consuming you would simmer down.

And you were certain that he wanted you too.

Taking the initiative you moved closer to Bucky, the short hairs on the back of your neck were drenched in sweat, you could feel it drip down your back. You placed a hand softly on his metal arm, the cool vibranium instantly cooling you down. Bucky let out a shaky breath and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing together as he took in your features. You were sure you could see the fight in his eyes, he wanted to help you. To touch you.

It was frustrating that he wasn't giving in. That he wasn't falling to his desires.

"I won't tell Steve, I promise." You whispered and pressed a kiss to his collar, inhaling his scent and shuddering when it filled your senses. He wasn't pushing you away, but he also wasn't giving in to touching you back. "It can be our little secret. I know you'll make me feel really good, he won't be able to help me like you can."

Her other hand trailed down his chest and stopped at his belt, Bucky was too busy telling her everything he had already been saying. Telling you how you love Steve and Steve loves you. It would break Steve's heart if he found out about this talk from you if he knew what you were saying to Buck. You didn't care, not right now anyway. You had always found Bucky attractive and before getting with Steve you had entertained the thought of Bucky, but he was just getting back his life. A relationship seemed too much for him, well that's what you thought.

You didn't settle for Steve, that was never the case. You love Steve, you know that. But, right now, here with Bucky, you knew that he'd be able to help you with this- more than Steve could. Steve was a peaceful lover, an attentive one. You needed this illness fucked out of you- at least, that's what your hazy brain was telling you.

Your hand slipped under his belt, a wide grin taking over your face at Bucky's shock, words choking out as you wrapped a hand around his dick. A sense of pride coming over you as he began to get hard in your hand, a few quick jerks as started to undo his pants with your free hand. Bucky was stunned into silence and compliance, unable to stop you just from the fact he hadn't been touched like this in a while.

He came to his senses when you noticed you get to your knees, his pants undone and pulled down his muscular thighs. Bucky slapped your hands away and tries to pull his pants back up, but you were putting up quite the fight. You roughly pushed him back, he ended up falling to the ground due to his pants restricting his movements. In the moments he fell down and was trying to figure out what happened, you had pulled down his boxers and gulped dryly at his semi-hard length.

"You're so big," You mumbled before wrapping your lips around the tip, a loud groan echoed through the room from Bucky.

You could feel him growing inside of your mouth as you tried to take more of him down, slobbering up his dick and licking around the shaft. Pulling off to run your tongue around the veins and down to his balls, gently suckling them into your mouth as you jerked his length till it was fully standing erect. You smirked to yourself at all of the noises Bucky was making, a hand being placed on your hair- which normally you hated Steve's hand in your hair, but you'd allow Bucky this time.

"Fuck my throat," spit was around your mouth and down your chin, "fuck my throat with your big cock."

Bucky's eyes were wide and lust-filled, there was still a hesitancy from him. A dilemma going on in that head of his, so you wrapped your lips around his cock again and started to slowly take him down. He was bigger than Steve, so much bigger, but that only spurred you on. You wanted him to roughly fuck your throat, you wanted to feel him at the back of your throat even after this.

You felt both his hands on your head... he started to push your head further down, the tip hit the back of your throat and you still hadn't taken all of him. He started to ease past your limitations, your eyes filled with tears as he stuffed your mouth impossibly full. Your lips stretched wide around his girth, he could feel your throat constrict around him and the slight gag you couldn't help because of how far he was down your throat.

"Fuck, so good." Bucky groaned lowly, eyes completely black and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. You knew your panties were soaking, a slickness collecting on your thighs as you rubbed them together, the flimsy material of your underwear was sticking to you and making you rub yourself just to alleviate the friction. "I'll deal with your pussy in second, right now I'm going to fill this hole up."

It was like Bucky snapped, the trepidation he was feeling before was long gone. It was now replaced with this new Bucky, and you loved him.

He wasn't merciful when he started to thrust in and out of your mouth, his balls were slapping against your chin harshly. The grip in your hair was harsh as he pushed and pulled your head to meet his hard thrusts, your eyes rolled into the back of your skull as he basically skull fucked you. Loud gagging sounds, your throat squeezing his cock as you fought for air, he only eased up when you looked like you were going to pass out. It was seconded worth of air before he repeated his onslaught, spit and cum was dribbling down your chin and onto your chest and sportsbra. Bucky kept his eyes on you, it made you shiver how he was looking at you.

Bucky didn't warn you when he was about to cum, instead, he held your head down, almost shoving his entire cock down your throat as loads of his cum spurted out and shot straight down your throat into your tummy. You hardly tasted his cum because of how far he was down your throat. He groaned as he came, swallowing thrusting his hips into your mouth as he milked his orgasm. He pulled you off his cock, it was still hard, thankfully.

He helped pull you to your feet then undressed you, roughly pulling the sports bra off your chest and yanking your pants down your legs. He ripped your panties to shreds and let the tattered pieces fall to the floor, his hungry gaze took in your shaking, naked form. Your thighs were glistening from your arousal and it was still leaking from your pussy, hardly any attention to it made you needy and wishing to be stuffed full.

"Turn around." The authority in his voice made you shiver.

You turned around and felt Bucky place a hand on your shoulder, bending you over the desk where you found the vial. The pieces of paper clinging to your sweaty skin and making you keen into his touch more. He kicked your feet further apart, a hand tickling the insides of your thighs and collecting your sweet juices. Expecting to feel fingers prodding around your entrance, instead, you felt a firm tongue lick from clit to fluttering hole, it dipping inside and collecting the juices wanting to leak out of you.

Your mouth fell open into a silent scream, his tongue was exploring so far into your pussy, his hands gripped your cheeks apart so he could push further inside of you. Tongue fucking you so roughly and expertly, your eyes almost went crossed out from the feeling. You didn't know you could be tongue fucked this good, but Bucky just lived to prove you wrong. The slurping sounds and moans from the man behind you, he lifted and bent your knee to rest on the table; opening you up further for his trained tongue.

"You're gonna have to let me have a taste of this everyday from now on, baby." Bucky groaned against your pussy, mouth closing around your clit as he sucked harshly, your mouths drowning out his own. "Taste so good," the tip of his tongue running figure eights on your engorged clit.

Bucky must've stayed between your legs for minutes, but it felt like hours. He pulled two back-to-back orgasms from you, only using his tongue. When he was done eating your pussy, he stood up and draped himself over your back, an arm wrapping around your neck as he breathed heavily into your ear. You could feel his cock nudge up against your pussy, sliding and coating himself in your juices.

"You ready for me?" You whined your response, trying to push yourself back against him but his arm tightened around your throat- not restricting your airflow. "Think your little pussy can take my dick, dolly?" You nodded in a rush, needing it inside of you otherwise you was going to die. "I've got you," The tip nudges against your entrance and began to push inside, the stretch was painful but welcoming. "Daddy's got you."

Your pussy fluttered around his length, the more he pushed his thick length in the more you moaned. He wasn't even half-way in when you started to babble about how he was too big for you, how he wouldn't fit inside of you. That only made Bucky want to prove you wrong, want to prove that you were made to take him. He started to thrust shallowly, rocking his length in and out of you, impaling you on him more whenever he pushed forward.

Once he was fully sheathed inside of you, he stopped and remained inside of your tight, heat for a moment. Relishing in the way you were split open around his cock, your walls were spasming around him and he was having a hard time not cumming on the spot. You felt so tight, so warm and wet around him, suddenly envious that Steve got to have you all the time. But he was planning on ruining you, to make sure the next time you fucked Steve it wouldn't feel as good.

He was going to fuck you so hard, so deep that you'd be wishing Steve was this big.

"Hang on, baby." That was the only warning you got.

Bucky started to pummel inside of you, his thrusts were hard and fast, his cock was kissing your cervix. You really could only just lay there and take it, your mouth open as moans were ripped from you, eyes rolling back as he kept impaling his girth inside of you. He was hitting spots so deep you knew you'd be feeling him for days afterwards, you'd be walking with limp and sore, it was worth it.

The way he was fucking you, it was as if he had something to prove.

The sound of skin slapping skin, his grunts and groans right beside your ear. His arm around your neck, clenching and cutting your airflow off at times, had you cumming within seconds and he still didn't let up. He didn't stop and fucked you through your third orgasm.

Your mind was starting to come down from the pollen, the pain and fever you were feeling had gone. Replaced now with pleasure and pain, a mix you didn't think you were into but now couldn't get enough of. All you could think and feel was Bucky Barnes. This was no longer the effects of the pollen anymore, this was pure you and riding on the afterglow of Bucky fucking you like you needed.

"Harder." You mumbled through heavy pants, tilting your head to look at him over your shoulder.

A smirk crossed his features, metal arm holding your hip in a bruising grip. Complying with your order and snapping his hips hard into your heat, grinding his hips against yours before pulling back out and repeating. It causes your back to arch, pressing your pussy back against his thrusts with little mewls leaving your lips.

"Kiss me." You plead breathlessly.

Bucky doesn't falter with that demand either. Draping himself over your body again and pressing his plump lips against yours, the kiss is far more gentle than his thrusts, but it still has you moaning against him. He was kissing you like you was fragile, yet fucking you like you were some kind of sex toy that he was using just to jerk off into. It was making your head spin and your pussy needy for more.

"You gonna come again?" Bucky chuckled against your ear, you nodded sharply and cried in pleasure when he bit your shoulder, cumming on the spot when his teeth dug into your flesh. "Mm'good girl." He mumbled as he licked at the tender spot, you could feel his hips stuttering their pace.

"Cum in me." You grinned and he cursed lowly, eyes squeezing shut. "Want you to fill me up, daddy. Fuckin' fuck a baby into me, fill me up."

The arm around your neck was pulled away, hand splaying across your back as he started to thrust into you in tight, fast and hard thrusts. Using your body to seek his own pleasure now, you were biting your lip at the thought of him filling you up. Not even caring if he actually did knock you up, you needed his cum inside of you.

Bucky found his end after a few careful thrusts, warm ropes of his seed filling you up and then some, he filled you up so much that it started to seep out around his cock. He groaned at the mess he made inside of you, he carefully pulled out of your abused cunt to see your hole clenching, trying to keep his creamy load inside of yourself. He had to look away because if he kept staring he'd get hard again, he didn't think you could take another round or load.

You remained bent over the desk and trying to catch your breath, his human hand was rubbing comforting circles on your back. Before you or Bucky could say something a buzzing sound captured both of your attention, it was coming from Bucky's pant pocket. He left you to retrieve his phone, eyes scanning over the device for a moment before he looked at you.

"Steve is waiting at the extraction point for us," You nodded mutely and you both got dressed in mutual silence.

He helped you to look presentable, ignoring the fingerprint bruise on your hip and the obvious bite mark on your shoulder. You were unsure how to explain any of that to Steve, you were also unsure how to explain what happened to Bucky. Obviously, you had still had those feelings for him, right? Otherwise, you would have been able to wait for Steve, it was like all sense of self-control had left you and only Bucky remained in your mind.

As you both left the base in awkward silence, treking the five miles towards the extraction zone, you wondered if you would have craved for Bucky if you was with Steve. If after all this time it was Bucky and not Steve you wanted.

All you knew was that Bucky had ruined you. You could still feel the impression of him inside of you, the way he had so deliciously stretched you open and impaled you on him. The way he had roughly fucked your throat like it was nothing but a hole to get off into. He had fucked you, in more ways than one.

(Please, let me know what you think! I’m also taking requests too! Honestly, kinda wanna write a part 2 where Reader tries to have sex with Steve but fakes her orgasm just to go to Bucky... I’m a bad person, I just think Bucky would be better than Steve tbh lol~ Lilith)

[103hailey]

The calm after the storm (Silco/reader)

Warning sensitive topics, cleaning of wounds, mentions of death.

This is unbelievable. How does one even go about this. Today’s luck could not have been any worse. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, getting a cold breakfast, all on top of a mission gone wrong. The one rule was to never come back empty handed. It was simple, he had already done so much for you the least you could do was pay up.

Walking up the stairs was dreadful. A weight placed on your shoulders pulling you down with each step. Guilt was the only thing flowing throughout your mind. Was it the bruised legs or the cut on your left rib cage that made each step sting. There was no avoiding him. Stepping up to the door you take a deep breath and push it open.

“You’re late.” He opened coldly with the back of the chair to you. This is already not a good sign.

“I ran into some problems that put me off track sir, it won’t happen again.”

“What kind of problems did you find that can leave you bleeding on my floor?” He moved the chair to look straight into your eyes like a hawk looking at its dinner.

“The shipment was compromised and a battle broke loose. They took half and left us bleeding in the streets. I didn’t get the worst of it, I’ll be fine.”

“Hmm. Sit.”

“Sir I’m”

“I said, sit.” With that he got up and moved to a cabinet to pull out a med kit. You moved to sit on the couch and pulled off your jacket knowing there was no way of walking out. With his back still to you it’s hard to not admire the way he carries himself. You can feel his power and control from across the room.

“Darling don’t tell me they hit your head, you know it’s not polite to stare.” You look away trying to find the green window more interesting. He moved towards the couch with confident steps and places himself next to you.

“Lift this up for me.”

Doing as he says you lift the left side of your shirt to reveal the cut that has been causing you so much pain. You feel weak having to sit here and let your boss tend to your wounds. You need him to know your strong enough to get the job done, there’s no where else to go he is your last chance.

You feel him start to clean the area removing of any dried blood and dirt littered on your skin. It’s cold against your warm skin that’s to be expected but what isn’t is how gentle he’s being. However when he moves to disinfect the cut itself things become a lot less pleasing.

“Ah for fucks sake that shit hurts!”

“Language please. I know it hurts but I would rather do this then have you die on me.” The sentence shocks you, what does he mean? Would he rather take care of me then have me dead? I guess this is a good thing considering the failure of today.

“I’m sorry about today. I might have aimed to far over my own head. I know my actions can be really impulsive at times, that I definitely have to work on. It’s just frustrating for me. Perfection is not a goal for me but it’s a way of life. Failure isn’t a option, ever.”

“Dear, did you ever hear the words of failure and you not being perfect come from my mouth?” This left you stunned, what do you say to that?

“You and I both know I didn’t.” He continued, “Don’t sit here and think for one second I have any doubts in you. Half isn’t as bad as you may think, maybe two weeks worth of work but I always carry extra. I’m not concerned about the shipment, I’m concerned about you.” You up to meet his eyes and see they are starting right back at you. There isn’t a hint of a lie in his voice or on his hard face.

“I didn’t think the cut was that bad.”

“It’s not. I just think it’s valuable for you to know your worth to me. My respect for you runs high as well as my trust. I want to see you do well but I don’t want you killing your self for it. So go and rest for the evening and have tomorrow off, we will talk later.” With that he got up and put everything back where it belonged. You gathered your things and head for your room while running this encounter over again in you head. 

[arizona2004]

Hey can you please do a azriel x reader where the reader is struggling with bad mental health (maybe an Ed) because I’m struggling myself rn and alsao there’s not enough of them :). I can totally understand if you didn’t feel comfortable doing it

Okay, here it is. Everyone responds to their eating disorders differently, especially depending on the ED and severity of it. I hope this has what you’re looking for, though.

Azriel x reader

Word count: 1499

Warnings: Eating Disorders! The reader struggles with an ED and some depression and anxiety and a little OCD. Please don’t read if you think reading the unhealthy thoughts of someone with an eating disorder may cause you to relapse. It is not healthy to think about food and eating in this manner. Love you all. Don’t forget to eat something and drink some water.

Waking up, I immediately don’t want to get out of bed. I pull the covers over my head, keep my eyes closed, and scrunch my legs up to my chest. When I wake up again, it’s only a little later in the morning. I still don’t want to pull myself out of bed, but I can’t fall back asleep. So I just lay there. Turning to Azriel’s side of the bed, I notice he’s not there. Well, of course not; he’s already left for work. I stare at the spot he usually occupies before finally sitting up and checking the clock. It’s 10 am.

Standing, I wrap my robe around myself and walk out of the room, refusing to look in the mirror. I practice breathing evenly and focus on my routine. I need to eat breakfast. I spend nearly 20 minutes in the kitchen, moving around, deciding what to eat. I’m opening cabinets and closing them, finding nothing satisfactory. Eventually, I decide to make some bacon. The stove is on, and bacon is sizzling. The scent of bacon is wafting toward me, and I feel like being sick. I can’t eat bacon; it’s greasy and fatty. Toast, I think, I’ll make toast. So I put the bread in the toaster and let it cook. It’s only when the toast is cooked that I start thinking about the carbs that go into it. I haven’t been exercising enough recently. I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. I throw the toast out with the bacon and decide to make scrambled eggs instead. Whisking the eggs and milk together, I turn on the stove, letting the skillet heat and butter melt on it. When I turn, bowl in hand, ready to pour it into the skillet, it slips from my hand, spilling all over the floor. Anger and frustration wash over me; I guess I just shouldn’t eat this morning.

After cleaning the mess: doing the dishes that littered the sink and picking up the mess of eggs on the floor, I walk back up to my room. My head is pounding, and everything feels like it's crashing in on me. My heart is racing, and I just want to scream. My mind keeps flashing back to last night. We went out to Ritas, and it was supposed to be fun. But I just had to ruin things for myself. I barely ate. I stopped drinking early into the night. I wish I could have forgone the entire night. I wish Mor wasn’t so perfect. She has curves in all the right places and not a single flaw; I hate her for it, I think. Passing the floor-length mirror in my bedroom, I stop to look at myself. It’s been so long since I’ve looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. Why can't I have a body like Mor or Feyre or Amren?

I sit on the floor, just picking apart all the pieces of myself I hate. Thinking about all the insulting things people have said to me. Tears are streaming out of my eyes until I can’t even see my reflection. I’m clutching my chest as I struggle for air through my sobs. Why? Why? Why?

It’s an hour later, and I’m just lying on the floor of my bedroom, staring at the ceiling. I pushed my earlier hunger away, so I can’t feel it anymore. I wish I couldn’t feel any of it. The tears on my face have dried, and I’m breathing normally again when a small piece of folded paper falls next to me.

The Note reads: Meet me at my office at 11:30?

Azriel. I turn my head to look at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearly 11:20: a choked sob leaves my throat. Standing quickly, I rush to the bathroom to put myself together. In 10 minutes, my face is washed, and I’m wearing enough makeup to cover any signs of my tears. And I brushed through my hair and threw on some clothes. Rushing out the door, I head for the House of Wind. In the time it took to get to the door of his office, I’ve done breathing exercises to even out my breaths and slipped on a smile.

Knocking on the door to his office, I peeked my head in. “Hey,” I say, biting my lip.

He looked up to me, a grin spreading across his face and arms opening for me. I walked in, shutting the door behind me, and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of me. “You smell wonderful, love,” he murmurs against my neck.

“Hmm,” I hum, holding him tight.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asks, pulling back slightly to look at me directly.

“Yeah,” An unconscious fake smile blooms across my face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

He just stares at me for a moment longer, eyebrows bunching, when he asks, “have you eaten today?”

“Yes. Breakfast this morning,” I say, “when I woke to an empty bed,” I try steering the question away from myself.

He knows I’m lying, “are you hungry? We could get lunch.”

“It was a big breakfast, Az,” I say, “I’m not hungry right now.”

He grips my waist and pulls me closer, wrapping his wings around us, “What’d you eat?”

“I made toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon,” It’s not entirely a lie, I think to myself.

He puts his forehead on my shoulder, resting it there for a long few moments, “baby,” he mumbles, “please don’t lie to me. We’ve been through this before: I can help, just talk to me.”

My lips start to quiver, I’ve upset him.

“I’m with you through all the good And the bad,” he says, head still down, “please tell me the truth about how you’re feeling,” he lifts his head to look at me, and the worrying features of his face make me sob again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he consoles, wiping the tears from my face, “deep breaths.”

I take a deep breath in and out, and he does it with me. My tears start to slow, and the shuddering breaths even out. Az is running his hand up and down my spine, soothingly and when I’m ready, I explain everything, “I guess- things started getting bad yesterday. I didn’t really like the way I looked in that dress, and I just felt… off? Gross? I don’t know,” I take another breath in, “then Mor showed up, and she just looked so good in that dress; she’s so beautiful. And she ate and drank so much,” I’m ranting now, “Does she ever gain weight?!” I stop talking, trying to calm myself, and tears well up again, but I push them back. Looking back to Az, I start talking again, “I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m a horrible friend for being mad at her, but I just can’t stand her sometimes. I’m a horrible friend.”

I’m looking down between us now, but Az coaxes me back, “look at me,” he holds my face between his hands and pushes our foreheads together, “You are not a horrible friend. You are wonderful and kind. It’s okay to be jealous. You still love her, and you’re still a good friend. Now, tell me the rest.”

I shake my head holding back my tears, “It’s just the same thing. I just- it’s everything combined. I feel like I ate too much yesterday, and I haven’t worked out regularly this week. Then everything last night. So when I woke up this morning, everything was too much. Seeing myself in the mirror and thinking about how much I don’t deserve you. I’m not pretty enough. It’s all just so much. All at once,” my breaths come unevenly again, and tears are running down my face.

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment; his hands drop from my face and pull me into him. His hands run through my hair, and he just soothes me quietly for a few minutes. When he pulls back to look at me, he says quietly and calmly, “You’re beautiful, love. And I know me telling you that isn’t just gonna take all the bad thoughts and feelings away, but I need you to know: No matter what you see in the mirror or what your mind tells you, you are so beautiful. You have your ‘flaws,’ but that’s okay. You just have to learn to love them the way I do. And I’ll help you with that; I’m here to help.”

I nod, tears still streaming down my face, and lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in and calming myself.

“Can we go eat food now,” he asks quietly. I nod letting myself feel the hunger I pushed aside and relaxed further into his arms. He lifts me with him as he stands and walks us to the kitchen.

[drabblecat]

Yandere!Heisenberg x F!Reader Part 2

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Warnings: yandere behavior, slight nudity, drugging

Part 1

Slightly longer than i was aiming for but that's ok! My initial thought was more pwp but then I realized I kinda wanted some sort of plot... Anyways, big plans for next chapters! As always I'd love to hear what you think and the ask box is open!

You took a moment to try and calm your nerves. Heisenberg still had your face in his rough hands, and you couldn’t try to run with that chain holding you down. As his thumb ran across your lips anger built inside you. Mother Miranda was supposed to protect everyone in the village, but as soon as shit hit the fan there was no one that came to the rescue. You parted your lips as if starting to speak, his thumb now pressing down on your lower lip. Tilting your head forward ever so slightly, you bit down on the man’s thumb. He pulled back and sat up in shock that someone in your current position would do such a thing.

“Take care of me huh? Like Mother Miranda was supposed to? Yeah, well look how that worked out!” The hand still next to your head quickly gasped onto your neck, lifting you up to meet his eyes.

“That bitch was just using the village. It was a lie she used to make sure we had the right number of bodies to work with and everyone fell for it!” Tightening around your throat you started to gasp for air, hands pulling at Heisenberg’s grip. He let you go, house bouncing against the mattress. “It seems you need some more time to adjust. I’ll be back later and hopefully you’ll realize your place here.” The bed shifted as he stood up. Walking to the door and closing it behind him you heard a loud telltale click of a lock.

You stared up at the ceiling for a moment, not only to catch your breath, but also in attempt to process what exactly was happening. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, one spilling over your cheek and rolled down to your chin. You let it fall for just a moment, and then gathered yourself. What was done was done. True you saw people that you knew dying in the streets, but you didn’t truly know them. You were just the new girl in town, if they were in your place, they would just be happy to be alive. Besides, Heisenberg was one of the town’s lords, right? It’s possible that this isn’t all that bad, you don’t know anything about him besides owning the old factory. At least he’s not Beneviento or Moreau. The dolls were creepy as hell, and you were never one for going near the waters that looked like they’d eat you if given the chance.

Using the sheet you wiped your eyes, and decided it was best to examine your surroundings further. Getting off the bed, the chain falling to the floor with it, you saw the cuff had a decent amount of length to it. Besides the bed and the heavy door, there were a few other things. There was the chair still at the end of the bed, a small nightstand, a vanity, and two other doors. Walking over to the vanity you were taken back. It had a framed photo of you that you do not remember taking. Especially since it was of you just out of the shower! Hesitantly you tipped it over, not wanting to even think of what that photo implied. Below the vanity were some drawers, opening them you found a hairbrush, and what only could be described as some of the raunchiest lingerie you’ve ever seen. Then came the two doors, one was significantly smaller than the other. Trying the small one first in the back left of the room, no luck. After turning the round door knob a few times you gave it a rest. Next was the larger door, this one opened right away. Nothing too interesting, just an ordinary bathroom. It was a little dirty, but nothing worse than what you’ve seen at certain gas stations.

Starting by opening all the possible cabinets you found they were all empty. Nothing to even try to use to get out. No cleaning chemicals or even medicine in the medicine cabinet. Heisenberg must have thought this through this for some time. The chain finally ran out of length at the toilet, just short of the bath. Seeing as nothing came from this, you returned to the bed to stare at the ceiling and think. Not like there was anything else to do. Who knows how long it took you to explore the room and think your thoughts. Without windows or any sort of clock there was no way to tell. Curling up to one side you snuggled into the blankets. Once again you heard the door click, causing you to bolt upright to face the noise. Heisenberg came through the door, carrying a metal tray holding a plate of food, a fork, a glass with what looked like water, and a small white vase with two wilted yellow flowers.

“Dinner time! Now I know I’m not the best cook, but you should find this to at least be appetizing. After all you must be starving darling.” He sat the tray on the bed and sat back in his chair. The plate was just as he said, didn’t look five stars, but your stomach growled at the mess of food. It looked like some baked beans, accompanied by some thick slices of grilled ham, and a chunk of corn bread. You still didn’t move, despite your hunger.

“Ok ok, you probably think I drugged the food, right? Well, I didn’t. Drugging you would be easier with a dart gun.” He lowered his glasses slightly to look you in the eye. With a sigh he grabbed the fork, picking up an entire slice of the ham, ripping a bite out of it. “See?” he placed the ham with the fork in it back down on the plate, speaking as he chewed. You couldn’t hold out much longer. If now was dinner time, that means you missed an entire day with nothing to eat. Planning any sort of escape or resistance to him couldn’t be done on an empty stomach. Reaching forward you used the fork the cut off a bite sized piece. It was surprisingly well seasoned, and super tender.

“There you go sweetheart! I knew it would just take some time to get used to, I’m not all that bad.” He chuckled and watched you as you ate. Only because he was watching you did you eat just a little faster than you had wanted to. Sure, he was a little off putting, but he seemed happy when you played along with whatever sick fantasy he had conjured up in his head. Once the meal was done, he set the flower on your nightstand and the tray right beside it. He stood up, taking his hat and coat off and throwing it on the chair.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I had a full day today and I am beat. Time to get some shut eye.” He glanced over to the vanity; a small piece of cloth poked out from where you had rummaged around. “I see you had some fun today as well. Your still in that ragged gown, I think you might want to change into something a little more… fresh.” Shit, you thought you’d put everything back to where it was. You mentally curse yourself as he opened the drawers. He was right though; you were still in the stained nightgown from the attack. As much as a fresh outfit was a good idea, you dreaded what his choice might be.

After a few moments of rummaging, he pulled out a gown that looked like it went down to mid-thigh, in a deep crimson color. It would have been a nice gown, if it wasn’t for the fact that the entire section around the breasts were almost see through lace with slits on both sides that went from the bottom and halfway up.

“Absolutely not.” You blurted out, causing him to chuckle.

“Sweetheart I don’t think you have a choice in the matter. Besides you and I both know that if you stay in that grimy thing, it’ll make you more uncomfortable than wearing this. It’s soft to, pure silk.” He tossed it on the bed and gave you a wink. Giving a defeated huff, you picked it up. He was right, it was incredibly soft. Getting off the bed with the garment in hand you headed towards the bathroom.

“Aww, and I thought I was going to see you strip. Maybe some other time…” He looked at you with his shit-eating grin. Your face became flustered, and you slammed the door as fast as you could, not shutting all the way due to the chain. Once inside the bathroom you began to change, making sure he couldn’t see you through the crack in the door. It was only then that you found the slip came with a matching pair of panties. Sighing in defeat and honestly just tired of all the bullshit thrown at you these past days you just put them on. It did give you some comfort, surprisingly feeling clean in this lewd outfit over your much more covering, yet crawling with filth, night gown. Taking a look in the mirror you looked yourself over. At least your tits looked hot in this, a confidence boost is good, right?

Slowly opening the door further, you became almost timid at what you saw. Heisenberg had also begun to strip down to his boxers for the night. He was in the middle of removing his shirt. His muscular back was littered with all sorts of scars. His muscles flexed as he took of the white stained undershirt, the smallest beads of sweat wicked away by the fabric. His tight ass was also a sight to see. Looking over his shoulder, he locked eyes with you, no longer having glasses obscure the direct line of sight.

“Well well, seems we’ve both found ourselves some eye candy huh.” Tossing the last piece of clothing to the chair he approached the door. Opening it and taking your hand he looked down at you, you quickly looked away to avoid feeling more embarrassment. Suddenly he picked up bridal style, your hands immediately reaching for his chest in attempt to hold on. In doing so your hands felt the warm firm handful of his pecks. He chuckled as you quickly folded your hands back into your own chest. Ever so gently he set you back on the bed, a sharp contrast to what had happened earlier.

Settling down next to you, you turned away from him. As you felt the bed dip with his weight, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close. You could feel a slight bulge resting against your ass. You tried to create some sort of distance, but you couldn’t move at all. Resigning to the situation, you tried to settle down, eyes unable to close despite some tiredness. All you could see in the limited range of movement you had was the nightstand, remnants of the meal, and the two flowers wilted but vibrant as they sat in the small vase.

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝙲𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚊𝚒𝚗

_________________________

𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Requested: (ANON) Hey :) Would you do an imagine where you live in the apartment next to Steve in Brooklyn and you're kinda very best friends. But one time you see this handsome stranger visiting Steve and you immediately get curious who he is. Steve soon notices you sneaking around when Buck visits him and he notices him seeking your attention as well. So he sets up something to bring you two together, which works? :) I hope this is not weird haha

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: Smut 18+ minors dni, fluff, steve’s a major wingman, bucky’s a major flirt ;)

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛’𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜: This isn’t exactly a college au but it’s a college au lol thanks for the request. I changed it up a bit cuz the idea of shameless!bucky has been on my noggin for a minute but hope you like it bug

_________________________

You and Steve sat on his couch watching a movie giggling and snacking the day away. You and Steve live across the hall from each other and the movers were confused as all hell and a lot of your guys’ things got swapped when you both moved in, which happened to be the same day. However, since the day you met and you two have been inseparable. 

“Oh man, what a classic,” you sighed when the credits came on. 

“Too good. I could never get tired of that movie,” Steve laughed.

“I should probably get going. I’ve been all up in your space all day, sorry,” you chuckled.

“Oh it’s never a problem, Y/n. You know you’re welcome to my man-cave anytime,” Steve nudged your shoulder.”

“Man-cave,” you repeated mockingly, snickering. 

You grabbed a still filled bottle of beer and walked out the door, not without shouting your goodbye probably annoying your other neighbors. You walked to your apartment seeing the clock said it was around five. You grabbed your laptop and opted for pizza considering you didn’t really want to make anything from the kitchen.

About to input your card information on the website for delivery, you noticed you didn’t have your wallet or your phone. You left it at Steve’s. You walked across the hall and knocked on Steve’s but Steve didn’t open the door.

“Hey, I left my stuff here- Woah, you’re not Steve.”

A very tall fellow with striking blue eyes stood confidently at the door. He had fair skin and long brown locks pulled into a bun rested in the back of head. He was fucking gorgeous. 

“Nope,” was all he said before Steve came up to the door.

“Hey you’re back. This my friend Bucky; the guy I grew up with, the one I told you about,” Bucky’s smile grew and you nearly buckled to the floor, gosh he was so handsome. 

“I left my wallet and my phone,” you looked at Steve feeling Bucky’s eyes practically boring into you. 

“Yeah let me grab it for you,” Steve ran away.

“So you’re Steve’s neighbor?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah; I’ve heard a few stories about you and Steve.”

“He’s told me a lot about you too. Failed to mention how beautiful you are,” what a fucking asshole. Your body and face grew hot at the compliment. 

“Here ya go,” Steve came back, saving you from a potentially awkward situation. 

“Thanks; uh… nice to meet you Bucky,” you ran back through your door.

“Uh, were you gonna tell me that your new bestie neighbor friend was fucking hot as hell?” Bucky said after he closed the door.

“Dude, come one. She’s too good for you,” Steve laughed, making Bucky roll eyes grinning. 

For the rest of the day you couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky, and Bucky couldn’t stop thinking about you. Since that day, Bucky came around to Steve’s almost like clockwork. You were always making sure to leave right before he got there. You would peeked through your peephole, watching him go inside Steve’s apartment. 

There were days where all three of you would hang out whether it’d be at your place or Steve’s, usually Steve’s, and those days were the worst. Bucky’s intentional stares and lingering touches. Sitting so close to you when you guys put a movie on. 

One time when Steve went to the bathroom he asked if you had a boyfriend and regretfully you said no. It seemed as though his shameless flirting became even more shameless if that was even possible. 

“Y/n, have I told you how good you look today?” Bucky asked you when you got back from having lunch.

“Yes, you have. About three times today,” you nudged his shoulder with yours.

“Ah shit. Y/n, I think I left my keys inside. Can I use your extra I gave you?”

“Sure,” you handed him your keys and he picked up the one that looked like an American flag since his birthday was the fourth of July. You thought it was funny and easy to remember. 

“Ok thanks,” he handed them back once you guys settled inside. 

“You guys want anything?”

“Nothing you couldn’t give me,” Bucky smirked at you, making you roll your eyes.

“I’m good Steve, thanks. I’m actually gonna head back to my apartment, I gotta finish homework,” you told him before leaving.

“You guys are still in school?” Bucky asked Steve when you left. 

“She is. She’s working towards a PhD, I forgot in what,” Steve shrugged. 

“Oh.” She’s smart, Bucky thought.

“I should probably get going too. I’ve got my bike and I heard it was going to rain for the next couple days.”

“Wait before you go, why won’t you ask Y/n on a date?” Steve smirked.

“Eh, she’s beautiful but I don’t think she’d go for a guy like me. She’s too smart,” Bucky chuckled. 

“Nah, I think she likes you too,” Steve said.

“You gonna come by tomorrow?” he asked. 

“If it doesn’t rain, sure.”

“It won’t; I’ll see ya then.”

Tomorrow came quickly and your head was buried in a textbook and your hand in a bag of chips. You had order takeout already and quickly ate it leaving boxes and plastics to-go utensils littered all over your table. On the bright side, or rather rainy, droplets fell gracefully down the window in front of you. They weren’t heavy but the drizzle was still very pleasant.

Rainys days were always your favorite. You usually spent them on your bed that laid underneath a window and if you needed extra comfort you’d crack it so you could hear the rainfall and cars drive over wet asphalt. It was peaceful. 

Pulling you from your concentration was a firm knock on the door. 

“Buck, whatcha doing here?” you opened the door. 

“Steve said to come by but he’s not here,” he told you. 

“Oh weird. He didn’t say he was going out. Did you try his spare?”

“It’s not there,” you frowned at his statement. 

“Here let me grab my keys and I can let you in, he won’t mind.”

You grabbed your keys and searched for the American Flag key for Steve’s apartment but you could find it. The last you used it was when Steve needed his key because he left his in his apartment. Wait, how did he lock his apartment if he didn’t have his key? Why didn’t he use his spare; where is his spare?

“Hey, I don’t know where his key is so why don't you just come inside and wait here,” you offered. Did Steve steal your key? Why?

“Do you want anything to drink?” you asked him. 

“You got beer?” he smiled cheekily.

“Of course I do,” you smirked.

Bucky came in and you quickly cleaned your disaster of a living room. There were papers and books everywhere, cups and plates piled on the coffee table. Bucky didn’t seem repulsed but he did mention slyly that he thought you were a tidy person. You punched his shoulder laughing saying you usually are but exams were tight right now. Not only that but you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a guy over. 

You put a movie on for you and Bucky drinking beer and eating some snacks you had in a cabinet. You weren’t going to lie, being around Bucky like this was comforting but also nerve-wrecking. He was so handsome and of course that made you nervous. And his continuous shameless flirting did nothing for your own confidence.

“Awe man, Steve said he can’t come home,” Bucky read the message out loud. 

“Why?”

“Said he got caught in the rain,” he told you.

“What a fucking liar. It’s hardly drizzling,” you laughed out loud.

Almost immediately Steve texted you asking if you let Bucky in your apartment and you replied saying that you would let him in his but that you knew he stole your key. 

I’d do no such thing, he replied and you rolled your eyes.

Remember to use protection! ;)

I knew it! You stole your key from my chain so he’d have come in my apartment, you sent. 

Make sure he doesn’t come in you ;D.

Grossss.

“What’s with the face?” Bucky grinned.

“Steve texted me and he is being an ass,” you laughed.

“What, he stole your key so I’d have to come here cause he thinks we’ll go at it like rabbits?” he grinned.

“Did you set him up to sleep with me?” you asked, slightly disgusted that he would something like that.

“No! I just, I grew up with Steve, I know him like the back of my hand. Asked me to come over and surprisingly isn’t there, no spare and you don’t have his key either? I kinda put the pieces together,” he said.

“I would never do something that shallow,” he said. 

“Sorry, I don’t think you’re shallow I just- I don’t know,” you stuttered, there goes your chance of even something happening.

“Don’t sweat it, babe,” he smirked. 

You didn’t know exactly how or what happened next. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through you, or the constant tension between you two especially now that Steve wasn’t there with you guys. But either way here you were, your back pressed against your bedroom door, hands held above your head, Bucky’s thigh between your legs, and he kissed you messily. 

You chest pressed against his own and Bucky released your hands, cupping your jaw with them to kiss more softly. Your hands went under his shirt and you could feel all the curves and definitions of his muscles. Your nails scratched lightly and you felt him tighten his muscles even more. 

He grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it swiftly over his head and your mouth practically watered at the sight before you. You noticed small scars and bumps on his shoulder and you grew curious but Bucky’s lips against your neck were too distracting to ask any questions. 

Bucky lifted your own shirt and kissed down your chest and collarbones moving your bra strap to leave small bites and marks along them. He kissed down your stomach slowly kneeling to the ground in front of you. He pulled you sweatpants off leaving a trail of kisses along your legs. 

You stared down at him biting your lip and with a wicked smile, his lower lip also between his teeth, he pulled your panties down your legs. He licked his lips bringing his fingers up to your core. You gasped softly feeling Bucky spreading your arousal around. He slowly licked a long stripe up your center, and your body practically melted at the feeling. 

Bucky lifted your leg and draped it over his shoulder as he continued to circle your clit with his tongue and finger you. Your hands played with his hair and you breathed heavily getting closer and closer to your release. Bucky added another finger to pump in and out of you. He pressed kisses in between whispers of praises and your legs trembled. 

“You look so fucking hot, babe. Taking my fingers so well,” he said.

“Fuck, Bucky, you feel so good,” you threw your head back hitting the door. Your hips bucked signaling that you were about to come and Bucky’s fingers curled and moved faster making you nearly screamed in pleasure.  When you did, Bucky leaned forward lapping up your arousal that spilled out of you.  

He got up and kissed you softly telling you how good you were and how beautiful you looked just now. He wrapped his hands around the back of your thighs and you wrapped your legs around his hips. He walked to your bed and laid you down gently. Your finger traced and brushed over the planes of muscles across his chest. The light caught the definitions of the bumps and scars, more prominently this and Bucky noticed your soft gaze. 

“I was in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. I almost lost my arm that day. It still hurts sometimes but it’s manageable,” he whispered.

You smiled sadly brushing your fingertips over the scarred skin.

“I’m so sorry,” you said sadly.

“It’s alright, babe. I have this scar in particular, I think it looks like a star but Steve said I was crazy,” he smiled, moving his shoulder to point at the red scar that did in fact look like a star; a very misshapen one but you could see it. 

You kissed his shoulder softly before smiling at him and ruffling his hair playfully. He dipped his head down and nipped your skin making you giggle and squeal at his playful antics. He picked his head back up and stared at you for a minute; his gaze made you flushed and shy.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. His hands caressed your skin from your sides to your bare hips up to your cheeks and jaw. You bit your lip and casted your eyes down avoiding his. 

“What, you don’t believe me?” he chuckled.

“No, it’s not that.”

“What is it?” He held your hand.

“Nothing, just…” Bucky raised his eyebrows waiting for your answer.

“People don’t tell me those things. It’s been a while since someone said those words to me,” you whispered. 

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that anymore because I intend to tell you everyday how beautiful you are. How gorgeous you are. How funny you are. How kind you are. How perfect you are,” he kissed along jaw and neck whispering these things in your ear that erupted butterflies in your stomach and chills along your arms. 

“Let me show you,” he looked intimately in your eyes. You bit your lip shyly before nodding and Bucky shimmied out of his own pants and boxers. His cock rested against your thigh as he dropped his garments to the side and you could feel just how hard he was. 

“You feel that baby girl? You feel how fucking hard you get me? So fucking sexy,” he kissed you messily; his hand falling between your bodies to pump his cock. He reached down to grab his pants once more pulling a condom from his pocket and you smirk teasingly at him.

“What?” he smiled.

“Did you plan on spending tonight between my legs?” you smirked.

“No, but I sure as hell dream about it every night since I met you,” he kissed softly before tearing the foil and wrapping his dick. 

He reached behind your back, you arched your chest up for him to remove the bra you still had on and when he tossed the garment to the side he groaned at the gorgeous sight in front of him. His hands kneaded the soft flesh of your breasts, his fingers pinching at your perked nipples. 

Bucky slowly slipped past your folds and you instantly felt full from his size. After just the tip, you were worried that he might be too big but even with how big Bucky felt inside you, the pressure was too good and you were already moaning beneath him. He leaned forward capturing your breast in his mouth and his tongue swirled around your bud, teething nipping ever so lightly making your body shudder. 

Your hand went to his head and the band keeping his hair back was lost in your sheets. His hair fell forward brushing over your skin creating goosebumps along your chest and arms. Your finger combed through his long locks and your nails scratched his scalp lightly, making Bucky’s eyes flutter shut. 

He released your breasts with a lewd pop before giving the other the same attention. His hips rocked in and out of you at a delicious pace and your legs wrapped around his hips pulling him closer to you, his cock reaching deeper inside you. Your moans grew louder with each thrust and Bucky’s groans did too. 

He nibbled on your ear chuckling darkly at how good he was fucking you. Practically taunting you as you got insanely close to a release. 

“You feel so fucking good, baby.”

“No one is ever gonna fuck you this good.”

“You’re all mine, baby girl. All mine.”

You whined and shook beneath him and his thrust became sporadic. It only took a few more thrusts until both of you groaned loudly in pleasure. Bucky’s head buried in your neck and your chest pressed against his in an arch. When you came down from your climax, your felt eyes instantly felt heavy and droopy. You breathe heavily, your hands lazily scratch his head. 

Bucky kissed tiredly along your neck basically purring at the feeling of your scratches. You turned the window directly beside you and watched the rain gracefully fall down the window. The blue hue coming from the night was a beautiful contrast to the warm blurred lights of the city and your small lamp that you always had on. 

Bucky lifted himself and went to the bathroom quickly to discard the used condom. He cleaned himself before coming out to clean you up as well. You smiled at him brushing the hair from his sweaty forward and from his face. He left little kisses along your hips and thighs as he cleaned you up making you giggle softly at the feeling. 

He tossed the dirty cloth in your laundry basket and climbed in bed back to savor the warmth you gave to him. His arms cuddled you close and he watched your eyes continue to watch the rainfall outside. 

“My bike’s probably soaked,” he whispered.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” you turned to him; the rain was coming down hard now and you felt bad. 

“It’s alright. If this is how we get to spend our nights without Steve, he can get caught in the rain all he wants,” Bucky chuckled. You giggle before kissing him softly; falling into a harmonious sleep. 

Bucky’s phone buzzed in his pant pocket and he reached carefully not to disturb you. He saw a message from Steve and rolled his eyes playfully already anticipating what his message was about. 

Please tell you guys are together now. I can’t take the obnoxious flirting anymore, Steve sent.

I think you’re good, but don’t ya think you’ll be third wheeling a bunch? 

Nah, I’m with Nat and we made official tonight, Steve sent.

Good for you bud. Thanks for this too. I really like Y/n and I know I can treat her.

I know you will. Otherwise I wouldn’t have let you gone near her XD

Bucky chuckled and you stirred a bit but ultimately went back to sleep curled into Bucky’s side even more. He smiled at your peaceful form. He dared say it but he definitely thought it. He knew he was up for a wild ride with you but he was more than ready to give you the world and more. 

From then on, rainy days had become Bucky’s favorite as well. 

=================

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l 

[keichan]

The Confession (Part 2)

You had a crush on your friend Bokuto Koutarou in high school. Though he rejected you, you moved on years later. Or so you thought.

Part 1

wc: 2.3k

A/N: This was requested through an anon however I won’t be taking requests off of originals anymore. Truthfully this was really difficult to write since the rejection was actually something that had happened to me about a month ago with a pretty good friend of mine. Anyways feel free to send me requests and headcannons of other things! My inbox is DRY!!

“Hey. Let me in.” Bokuto’s voice sounded clear as day over the phone.

“I didn’t know you were back in Tokyo. Why are you outside the apartment?” You were on the brink of sleep when he called.

“Didn’t Akaashi tell you that I was visiting? It’s been a while. C’mere.”

You sighed. Bokuto has tried his best to keep in touch with you since he had graduated. The first year was simple per usual. Though you admitted you distanced yourself from him. However since you and Akaashi became roommates and started college. You just didn’t have time.

“Hey. “ You quietly opened the front door to let him in. He looked good as ever. He pulled you tightly into a hug as he sighed into your hair. 

“Long time no see, huh?” He pulled away and started walking towards your bedroom. You yawned as you followed him inside. He stood at the door way as he studied the walls. You tapped on his shoulder gently and stepped around him to sit on your bed.

“So are you gonna crash on the couch again?” You yawned. He nodded. Still standing.

“I’ve had something on my mind for a while now and I’ve gotta say, I was wrong.” He said plainly.

“About?” You body perked up in bed. His golden eyes turned to you. The moonlight that peaked through the blinds illuminated his face.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, but I have more time than I could have imagined since I’ve gone pro-“

“What are you talking about?” You propped yourself up, swinging your legs onto the ground. Bokuto wasn’t the kind of person to sound cryptic. 

He sat on the bed beside you, now looking to the ceiling. Studying the cracks, the texture before returning his gaze to you.

“You know. Two years ago I said no because I thought it would be more beneficial for the both of us. I didn’t want to hinder you at all. So I acted like it meant nothing.” He sighed as he laid onto your bed. Eyes back to the ceiling. You swallowed a lump in your throat. What was he talking about?

“I don’t even know if you’d even still be interested. I mean we don’t talk as much. It was even a little awkward for a while.” He continued.

“I was hoping that you would want to give it a try.” He closed his eyes as he sucked in a breath, flailing his arms behind him.

“Give what a try?” 

His body shot straight up and he looked at you knowingly.

“You know!” 

Your hand quickly clamped onto his mouth. 

“Akaashi’s asleep right now. You need to be quiet.” 

He nodded as your hand slid down onto your lap.

“You know!” He whispered. “When you asked me out and I said no.  That whole thing. I want to date. Or at least try.” 

You gave him a dumbfounded look. 

“You’re funny, Bokuto. I’ll give you that. I think I’m going to go to sleep now, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You began to get under your blankets, facing away from Bokuto.

“But, I”m being serious.” 

“Goodnight, Bokuto.” You heard him sigh as the weight from the foot of your bed lifted. Your bedroom door creaked closed. You stared at your bedroom wall. The smallest, dumbest conversation made your feelings resurface.

-

“So where is she?” Bokuto dug into the breakfast that Akaashi had prepared for them.

“Oh? She’s on a breakfast date with some guy from her biology class.” 

Bokuto froze with his spoon in his mouth.

“Date?” His voice is slightly muffled by the utensil. Akaashi nodded as he pressed his coffee cup to his lips. The steam fogged up his glasses ever so slightly. 

“Yeah. I think he asked her last Friday. She left about two hours ago.” He placed the cup on the table looking at him knowingly. Bokuto stared into his food and flipped it over, cutting it into small bits. Akaashi glanced at his friend as the front door opened.

“Hey! Oh Akaashi! I didn’t know you were cooking this morning!” You looked over the counter before you reached into the cabinet to  grab yourself a plate.

“You’re still hungry?” He questioned.

“Yeah! We ended up eating pretty quick and walked around the park off of campus! It was pretty nice!” Once you realized that Bokuto was poking at his food, you sunk awkwardly into the chair next to him. He didn’t say a word or even look at you.

“So!” You took a bite of your second breakfast.  “What do you two have planned out today?”

“I have to go to a study group for English tonight. I’m not doing too well.” Akaashi stood to pour himself another cup of coffee. The sound of the liquid sputtering into the glass raised an unbeknownst tension between you and the gray-haired man beside you.

“I guess we can watch movies or something.” Your stomach dropped with the realization that your roommate has class at noon. Akaashi checked his watch as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

“I’m going to class. See you guys.” As soon as the door closed the silence was deafening. It felt like the two of you were sitting there for an hour, when in all reality the two of you finished eating in silence for three minutes. You made a poor excuse that you were going to take a nap. He tried to bicker with you to spend time with him, but you ignored the man as your bedroom door loudly closed behind you.

-

You groaned as you sat up in bed. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you rose and made your way to the kitchen. You slowed as you saw Bokuto looking around in the fridge. Using his other hand he was using a towel to dry his hair.

You let out a breath you didn’t know that you were holding. What do you say? Or do you not say anything. May as well pretend that the run in never happened. Again…

Turning on you heel, you proceeded to go back to your room, when a hand grabbed your shoulder,

“Y/N.” You turned to see Bokuto. Face to face he gave you a small smile. Drops of water littered his forehead. He was so close. 

“When are we gonna talk about last night? Or are you gonna brush it off until I leave?” He spoke in a low tone. His eyes not leaving yours once. You attempted to turn away from him, but he yanked your wrist towards him. Nose to nose now, you gulped as you leaned away from him, but he followed.

“Why’re you avoiding me?” His eyes reflected the dim light from your kitchen stove. 

“I’m not-”

“I know when you’re lying to me.” HIs grip tightened slightly. Bokuto’s breath fanned your face. Your eyes scurried, looking everywhere, but him.

“Just tell me.” He said gently.

“You don’t get to do this to me.” You squeezed your eyes shut, turning your head away from him once more,

“Do what?”

“Do you understand how long it took for me to get over you? I had to pretend like it didn’t bother me for the end of the year! I never ever told Akaashi what happened because I didn’t want it to affect the dynamic of our friendship. I was in love with you and I had to deal with that. You don’t get to tell me that you were wrong and you finally want to go out. You don’t get to say whatever you want so loosely when I know it doesn’t affect you the way it does me!” 

HIs hand fell slack to his side. His head tilted to the side. His face was solemn.

“You know that’s not true.” His voice was barely above a whisper. You held your wrist that he held to your chest. At this point your body was trembling. You didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or yell.

“I knew you liked me. I didn’t want to hold you back at all. I didn’t want to be a let down to you when I left. I took the last two years to be a better version of myself so that we can work out. I just wanted to be normal for you.” He clasped his hands together awkwardly. You nodded before waking to your room. He called after you, his footsteps creaking after yours. You slid down to the floor. You felt the door shudder on the other side, assuming Bokuto had done the same, tears began to slide down your cheeks.

Hugging your knees to your chest, Bokuto began to speak on the other side of the door.

“You know. From the moment I saw you I liked you. You accepted me for me and I loved that. I loved spending time with you everyday. I enjoyed every second of it. These negative thoughts kinda began to eat at me.” He choked on his sentence. You heard a deep inhale before he continued. “What if you get sick of me. I saw how my teammates would treat me sometimes. But I couldn’t help with the way I acted. It was just me. I couldn’t change that some things had me down in the dumps. Then it was the whole what if she likes me back? She’ll date me and then look at me how everyone else does. She’ll be around me too long and I’ll have to put up a front that’s actually appealing to you so you won’t leave. Just you leaving.” His voice faded. 

You studied the wood floors at your feet. The way the crevices connected into each other. You made patterns along them to pass the time. Words couldn’t escape your lips. The minutes passing felt like hours. Your heart had a dull ache. 

“And then you said that to me in the gym that day.” He began.

“When you said that, it was everything that I had ever wanted to be truthful. Though at the same time all I could think of was why would you like me? I don’t dislike myself by any means, but I just couldn’t understand why someone as good as you could like me. I couldn’t say yes and let you down. So I said no. Then I saw you the next day and it was like nothing had happened. So I assumed that it wasn’t a big deal to you. I assumed that it was just a simple phase of your life for you. And for me…  For me..” He paused.

“I’m going to sleep. I’m sorry that I disrespected your personal boundaries. I’ll leave in the morning. I wish you the best.”

Tears silently poured from your eyes. You looked for patterns in the wooden panels again to soothe yourself. Maybe this was for the best. Just to part ways…

No.

You shakily rose to your feet, resting your hand on the doorknob, you took a deep breath before opening the door. Your legs carried you to the living room. But Bokuto wasn’t there. The blankets that he had used to sleep on the couch were nicely folded on top of the pillow he had used. His gym bag was gone.

You went to the bathroom. The lights were off. Towels were hung nicely. His toiletries were gone.

You ran your hands through your hair as your stared around the room anxiously. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes once again.

Exiting the room you made way to the kitchen. A note on the fridge.

Y/N, Akaashi

I had to get back to Osaka early! Coach called me earlier and I didn’t want to inconvenience the two of you since you guys were already asleep.

Till next time

Bo

You crumpled the note in your hand. It had probably been at least fifteen minutes since he had left your bedroom door. He couldn’t have made it that far. 

You took off through the front door. Barreling down the stairs you made it to the street. You turned the corner to the train station, you saw him.

“Koutarou!” You shouted. The tall man turned to see you. His eyes were red and puffy. He took the palm of his hand to wipe at his eyes.

“You know Tokyo is dangerous at night. You shouldn’t be running around. You’re not even wearing any shoes. What if someone littered and you stepped on a broken bottle.” He cried harder as he kept looking at you. He took both of his hands and covered his eyes.

“Koutarou, the trains aren’t running right now. Come back with me.” 

He shook his head. “I don’t want to inconvenience you. I know you don’t want to be by me right now so I’ll just sleep in the station until they start running.”

You froze in front of the man as he turned his head away from you, continuously wiping his tears away. Not once in the three years that you had known Bokuto Koutarou had you seen him cry.

You stepped towards him slowly. You arms wrapped around his back and you pulled him into a tight hug. You began to sob. You felt your body tremble as cries silently escaped through your mouth. You felt his hands clasp around your back, pulling you closer to his chest.

“Shhh.” He attempted to soothe you. Running his hand repeated over the back of your head.

“You don’t need to cry just because I can’t handle my emotions. You have that guy you’ve been getting breakfast with. You’re doing great with school. Just don’t worry about me.”

You lifted your head off of your chest to meet his gaze. He gave you a sad smile. Reassuring you that it was okay. He had streaks down his cheeks from where his tears had fallen. You used your thumb to wipe them away. 

“But he’s not you.”

You gently pulled him down by the nape of his neck and placed your lips gently on his . His eyes widened in shock. You pulled away, giving him a small smile.

“I hope you know that I would never ever get tired of you. I like you for you. Nothing could ever change that. We’ve waited long enough. Let’s finally give us a try.”

“Really?” His hands rushed up to your cheeks. He held your face as if you were the most delicate thing to exist. Tears welled up in his eyes once more.

“Really.”

He placed his lips on yours once more. Turning his head to deepen the kiss, you placed your hands gently atop of his. You could feel him smiling with every motion.

Pulling away he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Let’s go home.” You stuck your hand out towards him smiling. Your features glowed beautifully under the streetlight. He placed his hand into yours and the two of you returned to your home.

[shadyteacup]

I was wondering if you could do an angst to comfort with akutagawa? Something like he accidentally uses rashoumon in his sleep because of a nightmare and reader gets hurt (they’re in an established relationship) she’s critically injured but assures him it was an accident and that she still loves him 🥺🥺🥺

This is angst that changes into comfort, n I loved writing it!

Tw: Blood, nightmare.

Word count: 998 (whoa, I didn't plan for it to be this long!)

Violently Yours, Ryu

You were sleeping next to Akutagawa, and had wrapped your arms around his torso. The both of you rarely got any time together. Ryu had come home with a gloomy mood, saying something about a tiring day. So you made him some dinner, and decided to call it a day. Cuddling before going to sleep was a favorite hobby of his, so you both did just that.

You couldn't go to sleep yet, as your mind was plagued with thoughts of worry. You were concerned about Ryunosuke's health. The doctors kept increasing the number of medicines, prescribing a higher intensity drug every time they went to get a check up done. These thoughts, merged with problems at work, had kept you awake.

You were staring at the ceiling when Ryunosuke turned away from your embrace, mumbling in his sleep.

He fisted the silk sheets of your bed, sinking his head deeper into the plush pillows.

You sat up, noticing the thin sheen of sweat that had formed on his forehead. Was the air conditioning not enough? Was he feeling hot?

As you were about to reach for the A.C remote, Ryunosuke groaned. You got up, scooting over to his side of the bed, and gently held his face in your hands. His pupils were moving around violently under his eyelids.

A tell-tale sign of a nightmare. You tried calling out his name, and gently nudging his shoulder. That's when he suddenly sat up, shouting.

You were flung across the room, and collided with the wall. The collision sent a vase on the desk near you tumbling to the ground. It shattered to a million pieces. The rest of the room suffered a similar fate, as rashomon tore through the space, creating huge scratches and tears in the wallpaper, cupboards an cabinets. The bed was a mess too; the tears in the sheets were surrounding Akutagawa. The wood and cushion of the headboard was also completely destroyed.

He had accidentally activated his ability.

Many items fell to the ground.

You, on the other hand, remained stuck to the wall, hanging a few feet above the carpeted floor. You furrowed your brows in confusion. Looking down, you noticed that rashomon had pierced your torso, and was holding you in place. As if on cue, blood rose to your throat, and your body lurched forward, forcing you to spit it out. It burned. Your entire torso stung. Blood oozed out of the edges, pouring out from your torso, the red hue matching that of rashomon. A crimson pond littered the pearl white carpet right underneath you. You heard screaming. Maybe it was your own. It started to feel numb all over, and your vision was slowly turning black at the edges. Your head dropped, your eyes slowly closing.

...

"Don't worry, she'll be fine in no time."

You could hear sentences. Where were you, again? And why is it all black?

Oh yeah, you're probably asleep. Well, half asleep, now. You could hear shuffling.

"It's all my fault... if it wasn't for my stupid dream!"

Aku. He sounds worried. You haven't heard him so worried before.

"Hey, she'll get better. Besides, you can't control your dreams. Cheer up!"

Was that Chuuya-san?

You'd had enough of guessing, and had decided to fight against the enormous amount of fatigue you felt, and open your eyes. It felt as though your eyes were glued shut. It took you forever to open them. Bright light flooded your vision. You hissed at the sudden invasion of darkness.

"Y/N?"

A timid voice said, approaching you. He crouched down next your face, holding it in his large palm.

You opened your eyes a little more, seeing a worried looking Akutagawa.

"Hey," You croaked, your voice hoarse from the lack of hydration.

"You okay?"

He furrowed his brows, anger filling his irises.

"Idiot, you're the one who's hurt. Ofcourse I'm okay."

He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry..."

You widen your eyes at how vulnerable he was being. He was always open with you, and never hid his vulnerable side, but that was all in the comfort of your home. He never showed his soft side at work or outside. Especially never in front of his superiors.

You raised a hand, and placed it on his head, patting it.

Chuuya stared at the two of you from one corner of the room, a soft smile on his face. He decided to let you two be, now that he knew that you were indeed okay. He nodded at you before leaving the hospital room.

"It's not your fault, Ryu."

You reassured him. Kissing his nose, you accepted him in a small hug as he placed his face in the crook of your neck.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, Y/N.. I'm so sorry.."

He mumbled.

You could feel his tears on your hospital gown.

"I'm fine now, baka, stop apologizing."

You mock scolded.

He raised his head and pulled back a little to gaze into your eyes. You smiled at him.

He gave you one of his rare, true smiles.

He looked ethereal. His black hair surrounded his face, framing his angelic looks. The white tips of his bangs added a splash of spice and elegance to his look. His soft eyes were so honest and filled with love when he looked at you. Who would have known that the most dangerous and wanted member of the Mafia had such a soft side? You felt lucky to have him in your life. He was your one true love. And you knew for a fact, that you were his love. He had told you yourself.

"You're smile is the most beautiful thing ever.."

You said, a genuine look on your face.

Akutagawa's face reddened up, the tips of his ears heating up.

He grinned at you, kissing your cheek.

"Shut up, idiot. You're making me feel this even more.."

"Feel what?"

"Happiness."

[wbearv]

A different day off - b.c (f, sg)

Word count: 2.2K

Summary: Chan likes to spend his day off doing nothing at all, but when he receives a call that you’re sick? well, screw his day off.

a/n: something more fluffy coming to ya! I didn’t really proofread this at all so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes! I hope you like this <3.

masterlist

As the very busy person Chan is (really, he should just sleep a little bit more), he usually spends his days off laying in bed doing nothing. Those days when he can enjoy the peace and quiet of his room without having to worry about anything work related are rare, but he cherishes them to the max.

The sound of his phone ringing startled him since he made sure to tell everyone the day before not to call him unless someone was dying. Someone better be dying for him to have to move from his very much comfortable position.

The screen was lit and your picture came up next to your name.

“y/n,” he sighed. “It’s my day off.”

“Hey Chan, I’m Seungmin, I’m sorry to call you but,” your flatmate said, stopping while you half cried half sniffed in the back because you couldn’t reach the plushie that just fell to the floor. “y/n is pretty sick, and I’m supposed to leave to catch my flight in twenty minutes, could you tell Minho and ask him to take care of her while I’m gone? I tried to call him but he’s not picking up.”

“Minho is out practicing for next week-” the line went silent for a second just for Chan to speak again “you know what? Forget Minho, I’ll go myself. Be there in 10”

“Thank-” Chan hung up while the sound of keys resonated in the background. Seungmin left the phone on the table and turned to look at you, laying on the couch like a whining soul.

And that was how, after stopping by the pharmacy to pick up cold medicine Chan arrived at your apartment a few minutes later. When your flatmate opened the door, he quickly entered the room and went straight to the sofa where you were half lying half sitting. You looked really pale, there were dark rings underneath your eyes and your nose was really red and puffy from all that sniffing and paper tissues. When you turned to the door, expecting your brother, you were really taken aback by him.

“Chan?” The smile that grew on your face immediately once you saw him is interrupted by a nasty coughing fit, which you direct away from him and into the cushion underneath your head.

He rushed to sit next to you, rubbing your back while you let all that coughing out. “Easy”

“Well, I have to leave now or I’ll miss my flight. Keep me updated and take good care of her! see you in two days, don’t die on me” and with that, he closed the door and left, leaving the whole apartment silent.

While you closed your eyes and let your head fall back into the pillow, Chan explored the apartment with his eyes, taking note of the mess around you. Tissues are strewn about and there were empty cough drop wrappers littered across the coffee table. He noticed the cute pics from last summer’s camping trip where you drunkenly told him you liked him but completely forgot about it in the morning, so he never brought it up again. There were a few pics of you and Seungmin from where you first came to this apartment, another one with Minho and your parents… but one caught his eye. You both were smiling and had ice cream stains all over your face while Chan had his arm around your neck, and you were looking at each other with fondness.

He unwillingly smiled and let his head remember those moments you’re your coughing snaped his attention back to you. Chan frowned, and got up to pick up the medicine from the plastic bag he brought.

He grabbed a spoon from the drawer and sat back next to you “I brought medicine.”

You smiled grateful with your eyes still closed, feeling a shiver run through your body, feeling weaker as time progressed “You’re an angel, Channie.”

Chan tried to ignore the rush in his chest from hearing your voice say that nickname that you only use on very special occasions “Yeah, well, you owe me one, y/n.”

You’re still smiling, but your expression showed just how weak you were at the moment, making him more worried.

“Take this” he said taking a spoon full of medicine and approaching it to your face “open up.”

You obliged and swallowed the medicine, your throat hurting and not being able to swallow correctly. Suddenly, you shivered and frowned your brows.

“You have fever” Chan said picking up the thermometer from the cabinet next to you.

“No I don’t” you said sitting up a little bit to take a sip of the tea Seungmin made before leaving “I might be sick but I haven’t had a fever in ages, I doubt it. I just have to get up and freshen up a little bit and then I’ll be f-”

You were cut by Chan, who walked straight to you with a very serious expression on his face and a thermometer on his hand. He put his hand on your shoulder and pushed you down on the couch again, making you sigh in surprise.

“No, you’ll get your temperature checked and then you’ll lay down and sleep while I prepare you some soup so you can eat” he said with an authoritarian tone.

“But-” when you opened your mouth to complain, he took advantage of it and put the thermometer inside your mouth.

“But nothing. Close” Chan said looking straight into your eyes.

You closed your mouth and when he placed one of his hands in your neck to keep your head up, using the other one to check your forehead’s temperature, you felt how your cheeks got redder and redder by the second.

The thermometer’s sound was the only thing that could be heard in that moment, appear from your labored breathing. Chan took it out of your mouth with his hand, leaving one still around the nape of your neck.

“Jesus Christ y/n you’re burning” he said looking at the numbers in the screen “even your face is getting so red” you touched your cheeks and looked at him again. “come on, you have to rest.”

He grabbed your arm and helped you get up from the couch, placing his hand on your waist to help you balance and carrying you to your bed. Feeling the hot skin tightly against yours, you tried to convince yourself that the fever was the one to blame for your skin feeling like it was on fire.

When you were already lying down on your bed and covered with your blanket, you sighed in content.

“There.” Chan standed back. “Better?”

You looked at him with pure affection with your puffy eyes and smiled softly. “Yeah, it’s perfect.”

Chan smiled nervously and hurried back to the kitchen “I’ll make you some soup now, rest while it cooks.”

When he made his way back into your room with a freshly cooked bowl of soup, he found you sound asleep and smiled fondly. Chan placed the bowl in the table next to your bed and bowed down to kiss your temple, then turned the lights off and made his way out of the room.

But then he heard your voice and froze.

“Chan?” she whispered with a soft cough “can you lay down with me?”

He straightened up in surprise, turning around to face you. Even though it was dark, your face was slightly visible thanks to the dim light coming from outside of the room. And when you smiled at him shyly, he swore his heart skipped a bit

“Um,” he murmured nervously.

“Just lay with me? Please?”

The way you looked at him with your eyes was enough to make him leave any intention of refusing “Okay.” He sighed.

He took off his sneakers and, when you opened the blanket for him to get inside, he gently laid down, careful not to crush you or make you uncomfortable in any way.

You didn’t fall asleep, but enjoyed the silence and how Chan’s body felt next to you. A little while later you spoke softly “Hey” you said, your hand brushing his under the blanket “Thanks for coming over. I really needed this.”

Before he could stop himself, he placed his hand on her cheek, letting his thumb gently caress her skin.

“Of course,” Chan says softly. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

You didn’t know if the fever was the one talking or you just let your filter slip because of your vulnerable state, but when the words left your mouth, you didn’t stop them “I really really like you Chan, I wish you could see me as something else than your best friend’s younger sister.” And before he had the chance of replying, you were sound asleep.

You didn’t notice it though, but for a solid hour, Chan couldn’t sleep, not one bit. Not after what you just so wholesomely honest said.

Just a couple hours later, you opened your eyes, blinking a few times before finding Chan peacefully asleep next to you.

You’re so close to him, close enough to appreciate how his honey skin glows with the faint rays of sun that come through the door and how his chest rises and lowers slowly with every breath he takes. You can also see how tight his arms are now that you can take a closer look. You supress the urgent need to caress his arm while you sigh, your head pounding, less than what it did a few hours ago but still hurting pretty bad.

You looked at Chan again, feeling really grateful for him. He actually came here today, and on his day off of all days. He took care of her and made her soup – even though it was long forgotten next to them.

A stray lock of his hair fell into his eyes when he slightly moved his head. Gently, without thinking, you reached across and slowly moved it to the side while admiring his face in the process. Chan stirred slightly, and his eyes fluttered open. You opened your eyes as wide as you were able and felt a sudden urge to pull your hand away as fast as possible. But when he smiled at you, your hand didn’t move one bit.

“Hey,” He whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“I am really feeling better” you smiled and closed your eyes to slightly change your position, your hand landing next to his leg. Chan felt nervous all out of sudden and, when his phone alarm boozed off, he got up and grabbed it.

“Wow, it’s gotten late. I should probably head out.”

But before he is able to leave, you grab his arm.

“Wait, um.” You nervously sat up a little “Do you wanna— can you maybe—” You sighed slightly and looked at him straight into his eyes. “Do you wanna stay?”

“I-” Chan opened his mouth “I have practice tomorrow and-”

“I know, I just, I really don’t want to be alone right now.” You cut him off.

He looks at you with a conflicted expression.

You’re about to tell him never mind— that it’s okay, and he’s right, he should leave before it gets any later— but then a slow smile appears on his face.

“I guess Seungmin won’t mind that I grab one of his pyjamas”.

A few hours and two bowls of soup later, you’re both ready to go to bed. Your fever went up a bit and you were feeling kind of dizzy, so you were avoiding getting up from the sofa.

Chan got closer to you and grabbed your hand to help you get up, but you instead made him sit again, very close to you this time.

You looked at him, feeling dizzy at how awesome he was. You must have stared for quite a while, because Chan looked at you worried.

“What?” he said, slowly caressing the arm that was outside of the blanket.

You locked eyes with him and, without thinking, you moved your head forward and kissed him.

Chan was surprised at first, but after a few seconds he returned the kiss with just as much enthusiasm. He intertwined his fingers with your hair and pulled you closer into the kiss – if that was humanly possible.

It ends too soon, though, when after just a few moments Chan pulls away.

“y/n” Chan sits straight and looks at you “You don’t mean this, you’re just sick.”

You look at him with your eyes filled with love and affection and place your hand on his cheek. “Chan, I absolutely mean this, believe me” and you got closer to him again, only a few centimetres between your mouth and his.

“Why do you only confess to me while you’re drunk or have a fever, y/n?” he said, looking at you with affection.

“Wait, what?” you said confused. You did not recall confessing to him apart from just a few seconds ago.

He smiled at your confused expression and lifter your chin, so you looked at him again “Nothing, doesn’t matter” and he closed the space separating you again.

And maybe the following morning Chan wakes up with a sore throat and a somewhat stuffy nose, but he doesn’t really care. What are days off for if it is not for enjoying them? You just have to learn how to accept the consequences.

[tsukkiseasalt]

Eyes That Won’t Wonder

2

“What, what!?” You shriek.

Another low laugh erupts from him as he leans against the door, his large frame blocking any potential view of the inside.

“I believe that is a compliment.” He mumbles his lips curling up into a sly smile. 

“Y-yeah, it was.” You stammer, words barely making themselves out of you as your stomach begins to do cartwheels.  

“As much as I'd love to stay right here and chat, you’d probably find it to be much more comfortable inside.” He says, smile fully present now, and you take a moment to admire the sight-storing it in your mind. He moves enough for you to slip right past him and pause the moment your feet touch the dark hardwood floors. 

The aroma is the first thing that invades your senses. It smells of pine and a rich tobacco, with slight hints of something sweet- maybe vanilla, you can’t really tell. The home is just as beautiful on the inside as it appeared from the outside. The dark hardwood floors complimented the ivory walls and dark rust colored trim. The living room was sparsely decorated though, it had only one couch, a chestnut loveseat and a matching recliner. He obviously doesn’t get many visitors. 

“Your home is beautiful.” You say breathlessly, eyes roaming the space in awe. 

“Thank you.” He exclaims, a large hand grazing the small of your back as he slips behind you and towards the kitchen. His touch makes your knees go weak and you steady yourself by placing a shaky hand on the door.

“Would you like something to drink?” You hear him call from the kitchen.

“Ah, water please.” You answer, taking a few deep breaths before you saunter over to the counter placing your folder in front of you. He slides the glass in front of you and you nod as a thank you before you begin to sip.

“I don’t think I ever caught your name.” He says leaning back onto the fridge, arms folded over his massive chest.

“Oh, uh, my name is y/n y/ln.” You mumble your index finger rubbing the rim of the glass. 

“Lovely, it fits you.” He says, eyes catching your own. You can't help the blush that arises on your cheeks. 

“T-thank you.” You manage to stammer out, silently cursing yourself for getting so flustered so quickly. He was a patient not some guy at a bar, you needed to get a grip and you needed to get it fast. “Uhm, you’re a bit younger than most of the other patients i have worked for. Is there actually anything wrong with you?” You quiz, but the words come out a bit harsher than you intended. “Oh goodness, I did not mean that in a bad way at all sir- Mr. Wakatoshi, oh my goodness. I am so sorry.” You exhale letting your head fall into your hands. Your words are all becoming a jumbled mess and you can't help the shame that creeps up your throat. Great, now he probably thinks I'm some kind of asshole.

“No, it's okay. I understand what you were trying to say. Two years ago I had to get a disc in my back replaced and it took a lot out of me. Though I can still get around pretty well, there are still certain tasks that I need help with. I am also set to have another surgery on my knee two months from now, so I thought it would be better to have someone get accustomed to me and my habits beforehands.” He says voice monotone. Is he angry?

“Mr. Wakatoshi, I am so sorry if I came off as rude earlier- I didn’t mean to offend.” You say feeling guilty. 

He shakes his head. “You’re fine sweetheart, I’m actually quite flattered that you think that.” Before you have a chance to relish his words he starts again, “I’m going to go put some clothes on, but here. I made a list- well a schedule really- of how my day usually functions. You can look over it and if there is anything that seems to be a bit much for you let me know and we will make alterations to it.” He says walking out of the kitchen and returning with a piece of paper. “Here, I will return shortly.” He says handing you the paper. Your eyes skim the page as you read the text.

7:30am- Arrive & make coffee ( I prefer mine black)

7:45am- Read the newspaper

8:00am- Feed Randy & Lyle 

8:15am- Pour second cup of coffee & wash dishes

8:30-9:30am- 2nd Workout (If you could have a bowl of fruits waiting that would be lovely)

10:00am- Post shower stretch (Help isn’t required but appreciated)

10:30-12:00pm- Take Lyle to the park (You are more than welcomed to join us) 

12:30pm- Lunch / with Aone* (*Mon. & Thurs. only)

1:00pm- Stop at farmers market

1:30pm- Arrive home & check on Randy

1:35-4:00pm- Varies (You may leave at this time or you may stay for dinner.)

4:00-6:00pm- Prepare dinner

6:05- 6:45pm- Eat then wash dishes

All that is required of you is bolded, the italicized text is completely voluntary, though I would enjoy your company.

“Goodness.” You mumble, placing the paper down. “This is even less than I did with Washijō.” You thought you had it easy then just checking his oxygen, helping him up, and taking him wherever, but you were basically an in-home barista.

“I hope it isn't too much.” The voice startles you as he appears beside you now fully clothed- well not really. He had on a pair of dark sweatpants and a gray sleeveless shirt putting biceps on display for all to see.

“Uh, no, not at all sir. I was expecting much more actually.” You admit eyes darting between the paper and his arms. 

“Oh, well I'm sorry to disappoint you.” He says voice low as he bends down to tie his shoes. “I’m sure that there will be more for you to do after my knee surgery.”

“Yes, and I'm not disappointed sir, I'm honestly kind of relieved. I haven't worked with anyone in quite a while, so this is a good refresher to allow me to get back into the routine of things.” You say words falling from your lips before you realize it.

“Is that so?” He asks standing back up to his full height, face full of curiosity.

“Yes, my previous patient passed away and I took some time off. He and I were close, friends even, and the death really hit me hard even though I knew it was coming. It still hurts ya know.” You exclaim as feelings of sadness wash over you at the thought of your friend. 

You didn't know what you were expecting when you told him that, maybe an ‘i'm sorry for your loss’ or nothing at all but it is safe to say a hug was not one of those things. His body was warm and his chest was solid- it felt good. You wrapped your own arms around his waist and closed your eyes. 

“I hope that one day you and I could be friends as well.” He says quietly pulling away. 

You don't fight the smile that graces your face, “Yeah, I feel like we will.”

The words seem to liven him because a large smile spreads across his face again. “Well I’m gonna go lift now, feel free to look around. There's food in the fridge and snacks in the pantry. Make yourself at home.” He says walking to the back of his home.

“Oh, Mr. Wakatoshi!”

“Yes love?” He asks, turning back around, a smile still lingering on his lips.

“Who are Lyle and Randy?” You ask looking back down at the paper, partly to hide the blush that you are now sporting. “Are they your children?” 

“Yes, they are my children. I’ll introduce you when I return.” He laughs before turning back around and disappearing into a hallway.

You sigh as soon as he is out of eyesight dropping your head onto the cool marble countertop, raising your head just enough to read the time on the clock that sits unwavering by stairs. 8:37. You had just under an hour to get somewhat acquainted with the home you would now be in for ten hours a day for six days a week. You decide to begin with the kitchen, opening and closing drawers & cabinets identifying the contents within them, occasionally rubbing a light hand over them. Next is the living room. The wide open space is mostly vacant and you take a seat on the loveseat sinking back into the cushions. “Nice.” You mumble.  

Pushing yourself up you wonder to every room opening the door just enough for you to peek in and see what it is. You hesitate though when you get to the room at the end of the hallway. It’s his. You could sense it, nonetheless you slowly push the knob down and peek inside. It’s clean just like the rest of his home. You don't linger and decide its best to close the door & move onto the next. 

By 9:15  you’d looked throughout his entire home, and it was more beautiful than you could have imagined. The ceilings in the bathrooms were high and had beautiful artworks painted atop of them, they looked as though they belonged in a museum rather than someone's guest bathroom. The spare bedrooms were just as lovely. Each had a shelf that was littered with books and knick-knacks that looked foreign. All of this just fueled your curiosity- what did he do & how long did he do it?

You shrugged as you went back into the kitchen jumping when you saw his large frame in the fridge. He was shirtless, again, but this time his hair was wet and clung to his head. The small gray stripes were clear as day against his dark olive locks.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t think you’d be done yet.” You say awkwardly scratching the back of your neck.

“Yes, I finished early and decided to shower & grab a snack.” He says waving the bowl of strawberries.

“I was about to prepare one for you.” You said.

“Oh, thank you. You don't really have to do anything today, just get accustomed to things.” He says popping the small red fruit into his mouth. 

“Would you like me to stretch you out?” You ask, remembering the list. 

His eyes shoot up to yours as soon as the question escapes your lips and you realize how wrong it sounded and before you had a chance to correct yourself he spoke. “You stretch me out, I mean i’ll try anything once but i’d prefer the opposite..”

His words startled you to say the least, and almost instinctively the words flowed from your lips, “I’d like to see you try.” 

His eyes widened at your remark and at that you began to spew apologies. “Shit, fuck, DAMMIT. God, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, the stretching part I mean. Well I meant that, but not what I said afterwards. Ok, let me start over. What I meant to say is do you need help stretching considering you just got done working out. There, that's what I meant.” 

Your eyes are frantic as they lock with his. God, it's the first day and I'm already gonna lose my damn job. Just great. His lips are pressed in a straight line for a moment before he finally lets the edge of them glide up into a small smirk. 

“I’ve already stretched, but I suppose I could go a little deeper, maybe a little harder this time.” He says emphasizing the two words as he pops another strawberry between his lips smirk still evident.

“The stretches of course.?” You ask for clarification.

He hums and pops another strawberry between his lips setting the bowl down onto the counter stalking towards you, his large figure quickly engulfing your much smaller one almost instantly. “That’s not quite what I had in mind.” 

You can feel his warm breath on your lips as he leans down, “But if that is what you insist.” 

A loud bark bellowed throughout the kitchen causing you to jump. He smiled and wrapped a protective arm around your waist. “No need to fret, he was probably just getting anxious to meet you.”

“He?”

“Yes, my son, or at least one of them. Come on so I can introduce you.” He says guiding you down the hallway, to his room you assumed. You were correct, you realized as he pushed the door open revealing a large dog. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart he doesn’t bite. Daddy made him promise to be on his best behavior.” He whispers lowly into your ear. 

Fuck, this may be harder than I thought.

hiiiiii, this is the second chapter & you can just check the tag eyesthatwontwonder to read the first. anywaysssss i hope you enjoyed! likes and reblogs are always appreciated <33

[pookiepoodle]

Samples - Osamu x Reader

This is for the Bad Doctor’s Collab run by @gourmetrat. Firstly, I’d like to thank them for giving me the opportunity to participate in such a cool event! I had a lot of fun writing this and I’m excited to see all the other submissions! Now, let’s get down to buisness!

This is a piss kink fic, with dub-con. It’s written for a female reader but in the future I’m gonna try to rewrite for a male reader (no promises). 

Please enjoy, check out my masterlist and send in requests!

You were the perfect patient, to Osamu Miya. 

When he’d called out your name to the crowded waiting room, you’d timidly stood up, shyly making your way over to him. Everyone knew that he was a urologist, but he had the decency to not say it too much. After all, most of his patients were quite embarrassed to be seen in his office. You weren’t an exception to this rule with your flushed cheeks and nervous glances.

His eyes lit up, his mind racing with possibilities as he led you to his office, locking the door behind you. You were so beautiful… so sweet. You’d be easy to trick, to manipulate into his little toy. Being a Urologist meant you had to tolerate piss, but Osamu did more than tolerate it. 

“So, what brings ye here today?” Osamu exclaimed, his loud voice filling the otherwise quiet room. The only sound for a moment was his footsteps as he made his way to the desk littered with lab reports and pens. 

He could barely hear you whisper something under your breath, unable to meet your handsome doctor’s eyes as you mumbled. 

“I’ll need ya to speak up if I’m gonna help ya,” he chuckled, leaning back into his leather chair. The view was spectacular as he gazed at your chest, following the curves and lines all the way down to your shoes before meeting your eyes.

“I… I think I have a UTI,” you finally said, only slightly louder. But it was enough to have Osamu understand. It wasn’t too uncommon in his line of work and he quickly stood, the chair squeaking with the sudden motion. He began moving to the cabinets behind you, making your breath hitch. You didn’t dare to turn around as he began to hum, the sound of plastic being moved around. 

“Well, I’m gonna need a sample to send to the lab, just so we can decide if we need to give ya an antibiotic,” he explained, moving back to his seat. With a little flourish, he placed the plastic cup onto the table. 

Maybe he was being a bad doctor… but, god, he wanted to push you a little as you stood up. You’d grabbed the empty container, mumbling your thanks before turning to the bathroom attached to his office. 

But just as you rested your hand on the handle, his voice filled the room, making you jump.

“Bad news, sweetheart, that’s not gonna be an option.”

“Huh?”

“Something’s up with the bathroom, I can’t let ya in their…”

“Oh…” you mumbled, letting go of the handle and taking a step back before glancing to the door,” I could always… is their public bathrooms?”

“There are,” Osamu grinned, enjoying the brief relief on your face before he continued,” but you’d have to walk through that crowded waiting room and back.”

It took a few minutes for it to dawn on you what exactly he was implying and your face suddenly paled. Oh. 

You’d have to walk through the waiting room, with your cup of pee for everyone to see. 

“But… Do you have a bag or anything I could use?” you exclaimed softly, cringing as you asked. Osamu shook his head, closing the cabinet door which did contain brown paper bags. Better to let you think he was the good guy rather than a liar. 

“Sadly, all I’ve got are plastic ones,” he smiled, the apologetic expression the exact opposite of his true intentions.

You couldn’t help but whine, sinking back down onto the check up table with a look of despair.

“I’m going to need that sample today by the way, the lab is going to be closed this weekend and the last shipment of samples is going out tonight,” Osamu continued, lying through his teeth.

“But… I need to get the train home, there’s no way I could make it back in time!”

“That’s a pity… but I do have a small idea.”

Before you could ask what this small idea was, Osamu had rolled his chair right in front of you, his brown eyes following the dips and curves of your body.

“It’s a bit unusual but I don’t mind letting you use my office,” he drawled, his thick hand reaching out to rest on your knee. The gesture appeared to be one of comfort, but there was a far less innocent intention as he gave you a small squeeze. You could have cried for joy - this wonderful, handsome doctor was so kind…

“But I can’t let ya be in here alone, of course.”

That made you freeze, your eyes widening as you met his jaw agape. Surely, he couldn’t mean…

“Hell,” he grinned, suddenly standing up and towering over you, his lips pressed against the shell of your ear as he continued,” I’ll even help ya collect a sample. My treat.”

“Wait, I couldn’t… that has to break a rule, this isn’t right!” you squeaked, flushing as his hand began to make its way up your thigh, slipping under your skirt. 

“Not at all, I’m a doctor, Miss Y/N,” he chuckled, his fingers running along the edge of your panties,” Trust me, I’ve helped plenty of patients, though none as pretty as ya.” It was actually true. Osamu was used to this, especially with his more elderly patient who needed some assistance. Normally, though, the task was mundane - this, he felt, was going to be the complete opposite.

“So… this is normal?” you whispered, wriggling when you felt his thick fingers run along the edge of your panties.

“Mhm. Completely,” he assured you, knowing that you were so close to agreeing. You just needed a final push. 

“Besides,” he continued, meeting your eyes and giving you the smallest smirk,” you wanna be a good patient, right?”

…

That’s how you found yourself standing in the middle of his office, your skirt and panties folded neatly on the check up table and Osamu behind you, cup in hand. 

“I… I don’t know if I can do this,” you whimpered, unable to look down. You’d never been in such a position before, especially when you were about to do something so taboo.

“Of course ya can, it’s easy,” he hummed, gazing down at your thighs and the little mound of curls which hid your precious holes from his sight. 

“I know, it’s just really embarrassing,” you continued, pouting slightly as you looked over at his desk. 

“I know, but remember, I’m your doctor,” he continued. His hand resting on your thigh suddenly darted between your legs, making you squeak and clench around him.

“Ah, wait!”

“Come on, Miss Y/N, we don’t have all day,” he smiled, ignoring your protests as he began to push your lips apart. Osamu wanted to groan, you were soaked.

“I know, but still, I’ve never…” you started, pausing. 

“Never what?”

“I’ve never… been touched like this,” you confessed, blushing brightly. 

“Well, lucky me,” 

You shivered when you felt his fingers slide against your holes, before the cool rim of plastic was pressed against you.

“Now piss.”

If this were a cliche fanfic or storyline, you’d have protested, still trying to cling to any dignity left. But you’d been told before the appointment to drink plenty of water so you’d be able to give a sample no problem.

So, with his crude words, the floodgates opened, much to Osamu’s surprise. He had expected you to whine and protest, begging for some privacy. But instead, you were pressed against his firm body, an expression of relief gracing your face as you quickly filled the cup. 

Perhaps you’d drunk a little too much water…

Your eyes suddenly snapped open when you heard splashing against the lino floor, making you jump back and gaze down. The cup was overflowing and you were still peeing, an embarrassing puddle forming on Osamu’s sterile office floor. 

“I-I’m so sorry, I can’t-” you whined, bright red as the stream began to taper off. Soon, only a few drops echoed in the room, but all you could hear was your frantic heartbeat. You had just peed on his floor… like an animal. God, was that a wet spot on his coat?!

But before you could say a word, a hand cupped your hot face, forcing you to meet the doctor’s eyes. 

“Do it again.”

[feelin-woozy]

Title: With Teeth Word Count: 1852 Pairing: Bo Sinclair / Reader Warnings: Gender-neutral reader

[ Ao3 Link | Previous ] 1997

The sound of some soft rock ballad fills the air around you, the bass gently thrumming through the marred wooden bartop. The waitress comes and sets the beer you ordered down in front of you. She doesn’t bother with a coaster, not when the bar is already littered with water rings. You express your thanks just loud enough to be heard over the music before you let your mind begin to wander once more.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Your ears instantly perk up at the sound of that voice. It’s a sound so familiar to you yet equally as foreign after years of not hearing it. It’s better than you remember; it fills you with the warmth of memories of your misspent youth. But guilt swiftly taints the softness shifting into something jagged and painful as it settles.

Turning your head, your eyes are met with a familiar face. He looks older but close enough to what you recall a seventeen year-old Bo Sinclair to look like. You catch the faint white lines of scars against his skin, and you wonder what he did to get those. You wonder if he let his brothers patch him back up. His eyes are that familiar crystalline blue, the anger is still there, but you can tell that he’s learned to hide it better. Even after all these years, you can see past his facade. He smells similar to how you remember, too, the stench of cigarettes heavy in his clothing, but there’s something new to his scent. You think it might be motor oil.

“Bo?” You say dumbly, staring at him with an almost starstruck expression. Your cheeks flush a soft pink when you realize that perhaps you had been staring at him for too long as you gathered your thoughts.

It wasn’t as if you hadn’t intended to return to Ambrose; you did, but every time you thought about it, something would come up. Your parents’ divorce had been the first reason that you hadn’t returned, though in hindsight, going then would’ve been perfect for escaping their drama. And then you got a promotion at work, and it was hard to find time off. Then there were the partners that came and went in your life. And as time ticked on, the idea of going back felt awkward; after all, by then, well over six years had passed.

Ambrose had become your own Garden of Eden, the whimsical youth that contorts your memories of the town, making it seem closer to paradise than the concrete jungle you found yourself in these days. It was a town you were tossed out of, albeit unwillingly, but it always felt that there was no going back. Ambrose had become nothing more than a footnote in your life.

You weren’t even sure if Ambrose was still there. Last you heard, the Sugarmill had shut down, and that was the only thing there that breathed life into the town. A part of you hoped it was lost to changing times, nothing but a ghost town filled with memories of better days and dark secrets. You hoped that Bo really did get out like he said he would.

“One an’ only.” Bo slots himself onto the stool next to you; the worn vinyl creaks beneath his weight. A hand curled around his glass of beer. It was already half empty. You wonder how you hadn’t noticed him when you had first entered the bar. “How ya been? It’s been what? Ten years?”

The way he says it makes the already sown guilt bloom into something plentiful. You can’t help but frown.

“Hey now,” Bo leans forward, lips twisting just slightly. The look he gives you sparks a familiar in the pit of your stomach, and you know he’s toying with you. He’s testing you and seeing how much you’ve changed. “I get it, shits different out here than back home. So tell me, how has it been?”

You eye him carefully for a moment before you let out a small huff of air and a bitter laugh. “Can I be honest with you, Bo? Shit fuckin’ sucks.”

He takes a slow drink from the glass, staring at you with a raised brow. “City life not all it’s cracked up to be?”

“It’s not, but I’m a contributing member to society now so I have that going for me. Guess you weren’t as bad as my mom thought you were.” You flash him a smirk, and he returns it with a slight curve at the corner of his lips. “Are you living in the city now too?”

“No. Vin, Lester an’ I are still in Ambrose.” He shrugs his shoulders before his eyes dart off to the clock on the far side of the wall before they meet yours again. “Was just about to start headin’ back home, then I heard your pretty little voice.”

“Really?” You kick yourself for the way your words drip with disappointment. It was at that moment you realized just how much you had missed Bo. The thought of leaving him once more made knots form in your stomach. You shift on the barstool, fingers drumming along the countertop before you swallow the lump in your throat and speak, “Shame. Think I could convince you to come back to my place tonight?”

“Mm.” Something flickers within Bo’s eyes at your words, and the curve of his lips transforms into something more wolfish. It’s a look that you know your mother would disapprove of. “You in the habit of pickin’ strangers up from bars often?”

“No, so consider yourself special.”

_____

It’s strange yet familiar having Bo Sinclair in your tiny little apartment. It reminds you of the times that he had snuck in through the window when you were teenagers. Where you would lay together on the small twin mattress, legs dangling off the side of the bed while listening to whatever music he decided to show you next.

With arms crossed over your chest, you watch as Bo’s eyes dart around your living room, his eyes moving over every last detail of your place. As if he was trying to relearn who you were through the possessions that you kept. You move past him and into your kitchen. You grab two glasses from the cabinet before setting them down next to the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the counter.

“So, what do you do, Bo? Last I heard Ambrose dried right up.” You ask, grabbing the liquor and pouring a moderate amount into each glass. His eyes turn to you, away from the collection of CDs that rest neatly on a shelf, and he smiles. A smile that leaves the hairs on the back of your neck to rise and gooseflesh to rise along your skin. It doesn’t help when he moves towards the edge of the counter opposite to you, reaching over and grabbing the glass. You watch the amber liquid squish as he brings it up to his lips.

“I kill people.” It’s said like a joke, but with the look in his eyes and that damn smile, you know that it’s far from it. It’s not a very funny joke either. You’re almost relieved to have the counter separating the two of you, but you know that if he were going to do something, that wouldn’t stop him.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” You ask, watching his adam’s apple bob as he drinks. You mirror the movement, taking a sip of your own and nearly draining the half-filled glass in one go. It burns on the way down.

“That scare you?” He asks with a quirked brow as he sets the glass down.

You think for a moment as you stare at him unblinking. You would be lying if you said it didn’t, but at the same time, there’s something about it that just makes sense. It’s like all the warning signs were there from the start, he had always been a recipe for disaster, and this was the outcome. Your mother warned you that there was something wicked about him. You finish the rest of your whiskey before slamming the glass down against the granite countertop. “No.”

“You’ve always been stupid, know that? Since we were fuckin’ kids. It should scare you.” He rests his palms on the counter, the top half of his body overtaking the counter and encroaching on your space. You fight the urge to recoil. You notice the way his eyes sparkle, that mean look that never scared you as a child, suddenly making your blood run cold. But you steel your nerves, and just like when you were a child, you decide to sink to his level and lean in with a mean look of your own.

Bo laughs, the sound rumbling somewhere deep within his chest and bouncing off walls that box you in. His eyes narrow, and his lips curl up in the faintest of snarls. “You’re fucked up, real fucked in the head.” He spits the words at you, the top of his lips baring his teeth as spittle flies, and you can’t help but smile at him. You know Bo’s goading you, trying to make you see him for the monster he thinks he is, for you to think twice and back down, so he has an excuse to bash your head in against the countertop.

Bo wants to watch you bleed as you slip up and cut yourself on his edges. He’s waiting for the moment he can remind you just how mean he can be.

“And you love it.” You’ve said a lot of stupid things over your life, but you think this might be your magnum opus. It makes Bo’s face falter, eyes widening just a bit as his jaw goes slack. The gears are turning in his head; you can see the way he tries to process what you’ve said.

Bo Sinclair has his edges sharpened through years of hurt and trauma. You can only imagine they’ve gotten more jagged since the time you’ve last seen him, especially if what he said was true. But even now, even after all these years, you still manage to shock him with your unconditional positive regard. Your willingness to hit a home run every time he throws a curveball at you.

You’re banking on the fact that you have history to keep you safe because if you were anyone else, if you hadn’t known each other since you were eating bugs or using sticks as swords or sharing a drunken kiss just to see what it was like, you would be bleeding out over the cold off white linoleum. In some fucked up way, you think that maybe, just maybe, the two of you were made for each other.

His mouth opens and closes like a fish as he stares at you. With each passing second, the smile on your face twists and contorts a little, and for the first time in nearly ten years, you feel closer to yourself than you have since you left Ambrose.

“Yeah, I do.”

[combat-wombatus]

Nightmare

Pairing: Hawks (Takami Keigo) x gn!reader

Genre: angst, fluffy ending

Warnings: choking (at the beginning), implied abuse, unintended physical assault?

WC: 1.5k

Summary: Hawks has a nightmare and you comfort him.

(A/N): not me skipping out on school homework again to write this-

anyways a lovely anon requested “reader comforting Hawks after a nightmare” and said something about Hawks’s father being a convicted villain. now, i’m not a manga reader so i don’t exactly know what’s happening at this point, so i did my own little take on it. u didn’t include the gender of the reader in ur request so i did my best to make it gender neutral! hope you enjoy, anon! have a lovely day ❤️  (and if u don’t like this take on it u can always request something else or a diff version of this!! i don’t mind at all! 😘  )

You woke up suddenly, the feeling of a hand wrapped around your throat making it impossible to breathe. Gasping for air, you struggled uselessly against the strong hand holding you captive.

“K-Keigo,” you rasped out, hands clawing desperately at the fingers constricting your airway. “L-let go, K-Keigo. I-it’s,” you coughed, spluttering. “It’s me.” You tried to keep a calm mind, but your vision was getting hazier by the moment, your thrashing slowing, running out of energy.

Finally, you stop struggling. Maybe he’d let go if he believed that you, or whichever entity you replaced in his head, was dead. He snarled once, then his grip around your neck slowly loosened. You sucked in air greedily, gulp after gulp, as if you’d never breathe again.

Once you had calmed yourself down, you slowly reached up to cup your boyfriend’s face with your hands, cradling it like he was the most delicate thing in the world.

“Baby,” you whispered, the choking having taken its toll on your voice. “Keigo, honey, wake up. You’re having another nightmare.”

Maybe calling him by his first name in a circumstance like this wasn’t the best idea. He immediately snatched both of your wrists and pinned them above your head. You winced at the sudden movement, and you could feel your muscles stretching further than they were meant to.

“Baby,” you tried again. “Hawks.”

His body went still when you called him that. His breath hitched, and his grip on your wrist loosened ever so slightly.

Slowly, you moved your wrists apart, then moved in to wrap your boyfriend in a bear hug. You rubbed his back soothingly, careful to avoid touching his wings, and murmured softly into his neck.

“It’s okay, honey. It’s okay. You’re just having another nightmare.”

Slowly, he shifted away from you. Blinking groggily into your eyes, he tried to recollect himself. You managed a small smile of relief, which disappeared quickly as soon as you saw his eyes latch onto your bruised neck.

“Babe,” his voice was small, almost as if he was scared this was real. “Babe, did I do that to you?” His voice cracked.

Clearing your throat to try and get rid of the excess scratchiness that remained, you replied as calmly as you could. “Yeah babe, but it’s okay, you were just having another nightmare. You didn’t really hurt me, see?” You tried to take his hand and place it on your neck to prove to him that you weren’t hurt, but he flinched away at your touch. You blinked back tears, trying not to let them fall. Why was this so hard?

You pushed back the covers to your bed and padded into the kitchen. Opening the cabinets, you looked for the hot cocoa mix that was perpetually in stock at your boyfriend’s apartment. He loved hot cocoa, and although chamomile was usually the “calming” tea, you found that cocoa had a much better effect on Keigo.

Quickly brewing two cups, you added some marshmallows and carried them back into the bedroom. Sitting down on the bed next to Keigo, you nudged him lightly with your elbow.

“Drink.” You held out a cup to him.

Wordlessly, he reached out and took the cup from you. He took careful measured sips, never once looking at you. You focused your eyes on your own cup instead and winced when you took your first sip. You hadn’t expected it to be so painful to swallow. Apparently, your throat muscles were still sore. Forcing yourself to take sips of the drink normally so that he wouldn’t catch on and ask what was wrong, you sat in silence, waiting until he was ready to talk.

Keigo moved to speak, but words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He’d hurt you. Badly. If you hadn’t managed to think quickly enough to play dead, and then to realize that calling him by his hero name would be better than calling him by his given name, who knows what would’ve happened? Would he have killed you?

The sounds that came out of his mouth were more of a choked sob than anything else. Why? Why did this happen? He’d stopped having nightmares about his childhood years ago. Why now? He couldn’t understand it. Sleeping together with you in the same bed should have brought warmth and comfort. Peace. The opposite of what had transpired earlier.

He curled and unfurled his wings repeatedly, his go-to stress reliever. Taking another big gulp of his drink, he tried to clear his mind.

“Babe?” You asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him. “Babe, I’m okay. Look, I’m right here,” you tried to assure him that he didn’t really hurt you. Keigo didn’t respond. Suddenly, he stood up and marched out of the bedroom.

Keigo couldn’t think. He just couldn’t process it. He set his cup down on the kitchen counter, then quickly grabbed his pants, a shirt, and his warm flying jacket. He threw on his goggles and headphones faster than he’d ever done before, pressed a button to open the living room window, and hopped out.

You were still sitting quietly on the bed, hands wrapped around your favorite mug. Tears were trickling down your eyes, but still, you sat in silence. Why couldn’t he open up? Why couldn’t he tell you what was wrong, so you could help him? You didn’t think that you had ever felt so helpless before, the aching in your chest had never been as painful. You missed him. You wanted to hold him, tell him that everything would be okay, but he hadn’t let you.

Setting down your mug on the nightstand, you slid open the drawer. You took out a photo album Keigo had given you for your first anniversary. You flipped through it slowly, each picture reminding you of a happy memory.

The picture that your friend secretly took the first time he took you out on a date.

The two of you visiting the botanical gardens, him carrying you, flying right above the water lily pond.

A picture of him greeting a small fan of his, arms wrapped around the little boy’s body, beaming into the camera.

The time that you went to the animal shelter and adopted a pet kitty.

The picture of you lying back on a picnic blanket in a field of wildflowers, hands behind your head, gazing up at the stars.

You hugged the album close to your chest, convinced that you could help him. You weren’t willing to give up on this relationship, and you knew that he wouldn’t let it go without a fight either. Slowly, grogginess seeped in and you fell asleep, tear tracks staining your cheeks, still cradling the photo album in your arms.

That was how Keigo found you, snoring slightly into your pillow, curled up on your side. He’d flown around the prefecture, music rattling his bones, savoring the cool night air on his face. He circled the theater, the botanical gardens, and the meadows. He’d even flown up a mountain and stood on its peak. Surveying the city laid out before him, he’d realized that in this entire city of 10 million people, the only one he’d formed a true connection with, the only one he could truly call a friend, was you. He’d hurt his only friend, but selfish as it was, he wasn’t willing to let you go.

You woke up to the sound of footsteps by the bed. Blearily, you blinked your eyes, trying to rid your vision of the fuzziness that took over, and stared up at your boyfriend. He had his hands tucked in his pockets, looking wary, yet alive. Gingerly, he sat down beside you on the bed.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” you responded in a sleepy tone.

His gaze shifted towards your neck, where bruises in the shape of his hand littered your skin. He lifted a hand cautiously and gently rubbed your throat with his thumb.

“Does it hurt?” He whispered, looking ashamed of himself. “Please tell me the truth.”

“Only a little,” you begrudgingly admitted, then moved to place your hand on top of his.

He swallowed, clearly upset at his actions.

“You weren’t in control of yourself, Keigo,” you said quietly. “You were having a nightmare. It wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s the problem,” he whispered harshly. “I wasn’t in control of myself. I couldn’t stop myself. What if it happens again? What then, (Y/N)? What if we’re unlucky, and I don’t wake up in time?”

“It won’t happen again,” you reply sternly. “Because you’re going to talk to me about that nightmare you had and we’re going to work through it. If we can’t, then I’ll take you to see a therapist. We’re going to work this out, Keigo.”

He inhaled sharply, then took his other hand and wrapped you in a hug.

“You’re right, babe. We’re going to get through this together,” he murmured, chin resting atop of your head.

You smiled softly against his shoulder, knowing that it was the truth.

Masterlist

[neonponders]

I need a comfort fic so I’m giving myself a sequel to this part 1 (also on ao3).

Originally for @withoneheadlight 💋

based on their post here about hair stylist!Steve  🔥( • spicy ahead • )

• • • • • • •

“Mr. Harrington? He’s ready for you.”

Steve startled a little in the waiting room chair. “Okay, thanks,” he said, reaching for his bag. Unzipping it, he rummaged through his traveler’s cases of shears, combs, disinfecting sprays, brushes, and his travel mirror. Everything was in order, even after the building’s security team when through it.

Steve hadn’t seen Billy Hargrove in a month. Maybe more, he lost track. The salon finished renovations, finally, and he threw himself into his work to forget the sickening anxiety of a police cruiser showing up at any moment to take him in for questioning.

What is your involvement with William Hargrove?

Why do you visit his work?

Why did he visit your home on the night of the seventeenth?

Why are there remnants of his hair and someone else’s blood in your apartment?

But no one came. No one asked questions. Billy’s weekly visits to the salon ground to a halt and Steve only just this morning answered a call from the familiar secretary.

She showed him into Billy’s expansive office. More like a suite. Steve didn’t know if he lived here. He probably could; Steve had washed his hair in a bathroom too luxurious for an office.

The office looked different today. A small conference table had replaced the sitting area in the middle of the room while Billy’s large desk sat on the far end, parallel with the wall of windows. Papers and files littered the table. Billy perked up when Steve appeared in the doorway.

“Steve, good morning.”

“Hi,” he tried to reply with the same balance of neutrality and pleasantry. It wasn’t easy when the apex of his legs ached with a sore spike of pleasure in his muscle memory. The last he’d seen Billy, Steve had just cut a fade around the man’s skull and left the top a chic, loose length for business.

The length had grown long enough for Billy to have a tiny bun on the back of his head. It looked cute. It looked ridiculous. Steve swallowed thickly and held his bag in front of his pelvis.

Billy thanked his secretary and showed Steve into the en suite bathroom. Per usual. A chair had already been placed in front of the pale granite vanity, in which Billy took his customary place. Steve hung his bag on his arm while he opened the tall cupboard off to the side and shook out the cape from it.

“I didn’t mean for it to get this long, but I think I’m inspired.”

Steve threw the cape up and let it drift over Billy’s front as he snapped it behind his nape. “It’s okay. Are you growing all of it out?”

He put his bag on the counter. He set out his customary tools, returning to the cabinet for the spray bottle and electric clippers as Billy replied, “Just a trim and a refresh on the fade.”

“Long on top, short wrap,” Steve reiterated for his own focus. “Do you want a wash first?”

Billy had an elbow on the arm rest, his thumb worrying the stubble on his chin before he waved the offer aside. “I’ll shower after.”

Steve washed his hands and went about carefully removing the tiny rubber band from Billy’s hair. He mussed it loose and informed, “Rubber bands aren’t great for hair. I can get you better options.”

“Scrunchies?” Billy said, but Steve couldn’t tell if he was teasing or serious.

He met Billy’s gaze in the mirror’s reflection with lifted brows. “Do you want scrunchies?”

The latter chuckled, closing his eyes for Steve to wield the spray bottle. “Maybe when it’s longer.”

Steve moved the comb mindfully through the strands and the tighter curls on the ends while spraying him down. There wasn’t much to work with since Billy had asked Steve to dock his long mass of hair. It had felt a bit sacrilegious, like shaving a lion.

Except Billy was beautiful either way. He pliantly let Steve tilt his head this way and that, bend his ears down for the clippers, and touching his chin to his chest for Steve to work on cleaning up the V formation on the back of his head. Steve’s palm cradled Billy’s forehead, easing his head back up so he could examine Billy’s hair in the mirror.

He swallowed again when he realized clear blue eyes watched him. Steve reached toward the counter for the buffing brush and swatted away the little pieces of hair on Billy’s neck. Not that it mattered, if Billy intended to take a shower,

But.

Steve had run out of things to do. “I think you’re done.”

“Thank you, Steve,” he said as the cape slithered off his crossed knees.

“Sure.” He went about shaking out a small towel from Billy’s collection, laying out the clipper guards, combs, and shears he’d used so he could spray them with disinfectant. Apart from the one occasion, Billy was an easy client, so it was easy to clean up afterward.

Steve put his things back in his bag while Billy rummaged in the walk-in closet. His secretary handled payment, so...

Steve wavered just outside the bathroom, unsure whether to say goodbye or just leave. He didn’t know where he and Billy stood, after...

After Billy let him into his little criminal underworld. Just a little.

After Billy stayed the night in Steve’s humble little apartment and made Steve feel anything but humble. Had left Steve high as the stars and drifting for a month, heady and sweet until he needed a place to land - 

“Steve, come here.”

He didn’t know if Billy heard him pathetically pacing between the office door and the bathroom or if he needed to talk about canceling this whole personal salon thing after - 

Billy stepped into view in his slacks, but his torso stood bare apart from a towel around his neck. Steve had but a second for his throat to go dry before Billy’s hands caught his nape.

Somehow

Steve had forgotten how soft his lips were. The tingles of fingers pushing through the hair at the base of his skull darted to his groin and ping-ponged back up to Steve’s chest. A clumsy sound escaped him as one kiss easily fell into two, Billy softly, ravenously plundering his mouth. Filling Steve’s head with syrupy clouds of lust. His hands found the towel on Billy’s chest -

“Have you been all right?”

Steve blinked drunkenly between the frame of Billy’s thumbs on his cheeks. “Huh?”

Billy kissed him again, and that was fine by Steve - 

“Safe.” Kiss. “Happy.” Kiss. “Comfortable.”

“Are we kissing or talking?” Steve blurted a little frustratedly.

Billy chuckled, barely separating them as he pulled Steve with him until his rear met the side of the vanity. Steve hummed again into his mouth, wanting, craving, slaking his desire for Billy’s taste, the smell that had tormented brain for a month because Billy soaked his sheets - 

“Take a shower with me.”

“Mhmm,” Steve answered in their kiss, before Billy’s hand gripped him through his khakis. He gasped and spasmed, his swollen lips grimacing through a quiet whine. It melted into a moan as Billy left a trail of kisses across Steve’s cheek to his jaw, cupping and stroking through the fabric.

“Shower,” he swallowed. “Shower, okay.”

“Good boy,” Billy purred into his neck.

Steve thought his eyes might’ve rolled inside his skull if he hadn’t felt inclined to huff, “Don’t say that.”

Billy laughed again, beginning to draw them toward the large shower cubicle. “I know very well obedience isn’t your thing.”

“Why didn’t you visit for a month?” Steve couldn’t stop himself. Even as Billy worked his pants off and the conversation paused for his shirt to get yanked over his head.

“I was busy.”

“Busy,” he grumbled inside the shirt before his hair ballooned out of it.

“Making sure you were safe. I had a lot to clean up. Still do.”

“So I’m still just a spontaneous walk-in?”

Billy looped his towel around Steve’s shoulders to reel him toward the shower until he threw the towel away. “I don’t let just anyone into my shower, Steve.”

“Yeah, because you’re - mhmm...”

Billy pressed him against the wall of the shower, kissing his mouth, his ears, his throat. “I’m what?”

“High maintenance with low standards,” Steve croaked.

“My standards are extremely high,” he purred, satisfaction dripping through his voice as he watched the wanton grimace on Steve’s face as he stroked his cock. “I’m going to take you now, and then we’re going out to dinner, and then I’ll have you again in bed. Mine, this time.”

Steve held onto his work while Billy - potentially the most dangerous man in town - got on his knees.

[ateezmakemeweep]

you’re the one that i want (part 17)

word count: 6k

angst

(part 16) (series masterlist)

tag list: @chogiout ; @psshwa ; @yeocult ; @seongghwaa ; @cherryeonii ; @chaoticbanqtan ; @8teenee ; @nczenniez ; @atinyarmyx1 ; @mingtopiaa ; @chubsluda ; @joongiebug ; @mochibabycakes ; @jisungity ; @skz-on-my-mind ; @nlost21 ; @myonlyaurora ; @closer-stars ; @kuaenam3g ; @byungaji ; @floweryjh ; @joeycheungg ; @lostscenarios ; @atinyxtopia ; @sanisms ; @kpopnightingale ; @simpforhyunjin ; @89staytinyzen21​ ; @lokicaramel ; @ttalgimin ; @sakura-uji ; @songsoomin ; @toffee-hwa ; @deobitiful ; @hyunjeansuniverse ; @clown-teez​ ; @i-know-you-know-lee-know ; @tiny-whatsername ; @fairieofeternity ; @yixing-jaehyun ; @sleepyseonghwa ; @revehosh ; 

time went on but the pain never went away. it dulled, for sure, with san incessantly telling you that you deserved better and the piles of work that were being assigned to you.

but you were also doing everything in your absolute power to ignore seonghwa. 

you never lingered before or after homeroom and made sure to never even look in his direction. you drowned out the sound of his voice in class or entire presence when you passed him the hallway. you and san even started to break the school rules and went out for lunch so neither of you had to be reminded of that table.

the one time seonghwa dared come to the cafe, san forced you into the back room and gave his ex friend a piece of his mind. you thought for sure you were gonna have to run out and separate the boys but seonghwa just looked completely...empty and defeated. 

it seemed as if he took san’s words to heart, the blonde speaking them so lowly and harshly you still don’t exactly know what he said to this day. you just know that when you and seonghwa’s eyes met through the small glass window, he looked as sad and broken as you felt inside - but for very different reasons. 

he was upset with himself while you were upset with the both of you. at him for acting the way he did and denying you once again but also at yourself for letting it go on for so long. you should’ve been stronger and made it known he was hurting you from day one, not just avoid him for the sake of saving yourself more pain and suffering.

you’ve switched between feeling sad, angry and vengeful so much during these weeks that you don’t even know how you feel anymore; you just know you’re hurting and know it’s because of him.

“okay but you can’t not go because of him,” san whines. you were both sitting at the cafe during your wednesday night shift, the shitty, rainy weather outside keeping you free of any customers. 

“san,” you whine back, looking at your friend in annoyance; he’d been harassing you for days to go to his friend’s party on friday, a group of boys from another school he’s been friends with since 5th grade.

“look, i was honest and told you he’d probably be there to warn you,” he tells you honestly, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “but if you’re gonna make me go through it by myself, that’ll be really mean.” 

you roll your eyes at the pout on his lips, feeling yourself frown when he adds, “because you know, i’m avoiding one of them too.”

you both know it’s a low blow and san has to resist the urge to smirk knowing he did just play a little dirty. but it doesn’t lessen his actual anxiety over it, knowing he’s gonna be around alcohol in a party atmosphere where stupid decisions are almost always made.

“that’s not fair,” you say with a pout, kicking against the counter with a groan. 

“c’monnn, love, i’m gonna need you there.” 

you let out a sigh, looking at the boy with a pained expression; it would be the perfect time for you to get out and party though, you think, given the fact that your parents told you just this morning they’d be going away for the weekend. 

things at home had been surprisingly...civil, only a few fights and slaps here and there that do little to break your spirit. because it’s already pretty crumbled, eating quickly with them before rushing into your room to do homework.

you never thought you’d say it but schoolwork and projects and essays were actually saving you these days, distracting your mind from just how badly your heart was hurting. 

and what better way to further distract yourself than by getting drunk for the first time? 

“for the first time?” san yelps when you tell him you’ve never drank before. 

“kind of, yeah,” you tell him with an amused smile, the utter shock on his face all too endearing. “i...got tipsy over the summer,” you say quickly, grazing over the memory before you tell san you’d only had one drink. 

“oh, that won’t do,” san says with a shake of the head. 

you watch with a raised eyebrow and a cup of tea to your lips as the blonde prances over to the cabinets, looking inside before smirking at the extra box of jello he knew was laying around back here. 

“we’ll start you off with jello shots and then move you up to the real stuff. get ready for friday, biiiitch.” 

you let out a snort and warm tea spews from your mouth, dripping down to your chin and onto the floor as you let out a choking fit of laughter. san yells that he just mopped the floor and insists that you’re doing it this time, your eyes only rolling at him.

“i’m about to choke and die and you’re worried about the floor.”

“you can’t choke and die, we have to go to this party first.”

the jello shots had gone down easily, your personal favorites being the strawberry and raspberry. but now, the straight vodka sitting in one of san’s many shot glasses is proving to be a challenge. 

“i think i’m drunk so i don’t need to do-”

“cheers!” san yelps, taking your glass from the table and forcing it into your hand. you let out a sigh as you watch the boy down his 4th one with ease, looking at him with concerned laced in your eyes. 

“san, if you’re gonna puke tonight, i’m gonna be really-”

“i’m not gonna puke,” he whines, “we ate so much before this and i’ll drink water. but you have to start little lady. we only have an hour!” 

“okay i will but i’m just warning you that i’m gonna hate every moment of this and-”

he rolls his eyes before pushing the shot glass toward you, snorting when you take down the vodka with a sneer and gag. but by the third, the burn gets almost manageable and you and san mentally prepare one another for what’s about to come. 

you tell him to not take wooyoung’s shit, that if the boy even dares to signal for him to go outside so they could be alone, he points his middle finger at him and goes off to dance and have fun. 

he tells you that if seonghwa tries to corner you and suck another hickie onto your neck, (the blonde had been so irritated at that, the possessiveness and boldness in the action making his blood boil) you knee him between the legs and kiss the closest person next to you. even if it’s him.

you laugh at that very unlikely circumstance as you stumble out of his house and into the uber, both of you determined not to let those two handsome but horribly cruel boys get to you. 

you try to keep the slurring of your words quiet so the driver isn’t alarmed by the drunk underaged kids in his car, whispering back and forth about what songs you’re gonna sneak onto the aux.

you thank the man as he pulls up to the house, big and beautiful with a wrap around porch and a few kids littered outside. and then even in a drunken daze, you feel your stomach knot with nervousness. the unfamiliar crowd, the loud booming music coming from the house, the thought of seeing seonghwa in this state, now all too daunting. 

but san notices your discomfort immediately and grabs your hand, saying hi to a few people in passing as he leads you into the house. he tells you to stay close and to not let go of him, your eyes widening at the amount of people in this house; what kind of high school party is like this?

“oi felix!” 

a boy with blonde wavy hair turns around and smiles at san, walking over and fist bumping him; you bit your lip to hide your smile, secretly wondering who’s hands were smaller (it’s me, the author, i am wondering). felix notices you standing beside san, your intertwined hands catching his eye before his face lights up. 

“who is this? is she your-”

“friend,” san clarifies, pulling you into him affectionately. “but she is very much single if anyone is interested.”

“san,” you whine as you disconnect your hands and hit his arm, felix laughing quietly before he holds out his. you take his hand with a small smile, mumbling your name before three boys barrel right into him. 

“san!” they all scream in unison, excited cheers as they run toward the boy and grab him in a hug. you giggle as you wait off to the side in fear of getting trampled, felix looking at you apologetically. 

“sorry,” he says, his voice so deep and full it makes your eyes widen. and maybe it’s because you have alcohol coursing through you that you show your surprise, looking around like you’re scared someone’s gonna watch you before leaning in. 

“your voice...is very deep.” 

a loud chuckle leaves his mouth as he nods his head, talking more and leaving you in amazement. 

you don’t even hear san and the other boys conversing behind you, you and felix talking about the blonde-haired boy. you tell him that you work at his parents cafe and also see him in school every day, giggling sweetly when felix’s face turns into a grimace as he commends your ability to deal with the loud, whiney boy five days a week.

the very same boy who, little to your knowledge, is trying to set you up. but it’s not his fault, he rationalizes in his head, the idea just fell into his lap really.

“hey, who’d you come with?” hyunjin asks san, the two blondes turning when they hear your giggle pierce the air. 

the taller boy can’t help but smile softly at the sound, thinking it’s the cutest thing he’s heard since he got here; he wasn’t even gonna come tonight, always put off by the gross group of people and loud, terrible music.

“that’s y/n, my new friend,” san says, smiling when he sees hyunjin’s intrigued gaze. 

he’s known the boy for years, one of his first friends from middle school who proved time and time again how sweet he was. everyone had always been intimidated by his good looks and tall figure but he was just as a soft-spoken as he was kind; he’d be the perfect distraction for you tonight. 

it’s why he drags hyunjin over to you, planting the boy in front of you and your head snaps away from felix. “i was just telling him how you always-” a pair of dark, unfamiliar eyes looking at you cause the words to stop, your breath catching in your throat at the man in your presence. 

his blonde hair hangs in his face, a black headband over his forehead just a few inches above the prettiest pair of light brown eyes. he’s taller than san and felix and it only adds on to how much your sad little heart flutters, your usual sober nervousness replaced with a drunken fascination. 

“oh. hi.”

and then when his lips quirk up into a smile, your heart nearly threatens to pound out of your chest. 

“hey. i’m hyunjin.”

you sat with the boy for most of the night, your legs grazing as you stayed on the couch and gave him playful slaps to the arm when you drunkenly giggled into him. you quickly discovered he was just as funny as he was kind and handsome and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think you had a little bit of a crush on him.

that the happy, fluttering feeling in your chest was something you hadn’t felt in a while, your shy smiles back and forth only making you more giggly. or it could also be the sips you took from san’s spiked seltzer that might have something to do with it. 

because one second you and hyunjin were debating whether goldendoodles or chihuahuas made better pets and then the next, you were both charging over to san for the final decision. but he yelped excitedly, having not seen you both all night because you were so lost in each other, and threw his arms around you. 

“don’t look now, love, but asshole one and two just got here.”

you pull back and look at san with wide eyes, the blonde only nodding his head with a calming look in his eye. he had thought you guys had gotten lucky and the four boys weren’t gonna show up but leave it them to waltz in a few minutes before midnight, their eyes searching the crowd before a brown pair of narrowed eyes caught his attention.

san avoided the boy’s gaze to look at seonghwa, watching his eyes roam over the crowd before landing on you. his handsome face immediately drops, his jaw tightening and eyes narrowing as he watched you and hyunjin laugh together. 

the tall blonde’s hand was resting on your hip, this thumb running over the exposed skin between your jeans and shirt as you two laugh with hyunjin’s friends.

to seonghwa, it looked as if he was trying to make a move on you. that he was slowly enticing you until his hand traveled lower and lower and just the thought of it causes anger to rip through him. like an anger he’s never felt before.

because he would do that to comfort you. 

to calm your nerves and ground you if you were feeling upset and anxious, like you typically did around crowds or unfamiliar groups of people. but you looked awfully cozy next to the boy in the loud, chaotic environment, smiling up at the boy so prettily it makes him growl lowly in his chest.

“what the fuck was that?” mingi asked the boy, his eyes following seonghwa’s dark gaze before his face morphed into one of surprise. 

“ohhh shit.”

“shit,” you said under your breath, hyunjin hearing the frustration in your voice and looking down at you curiously. 

but you and san don’t look away from one another, trying so hard to remember what you said earlier. that you’re gonna ignore them and pretend they’re not even here, that you both deserve better and should move on to bigger and better things.

that if, given the opportunity, maybe it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to distract yourself with other people. and what better way than in the arms of a long haired blonde boy with the prettiest face you’ve ever seen?

“what’s wrong?” you hear his voice mumble in your ear, turning around and sucking in a breath when you realize you’re a lot closer than you thought. his eyes look over you with a soft concern, watching your drunken hazy eyes look back at him.

“no-nothing, someone’s just here who i...don’t wanna see,” you settle on saying, not needing hyunjin to know all of your baggage and nonsense drama. 

he looks at the new group of boys who just entered, recognizing them immediately and waving; he’s mostly friendly with yeosang but has seen the other three before, the dirty blonde boy eyeing him with such distaste he can only assume that’s who you’re having a problem with. 

but if you don’t wanna see him, then he’s gonna make sure you don’t. 

so he smiles down at you, his finger tapping you on the nose playfully and smiling when you giggle quietly. he’s happy to see a smile back on your face, the lingering anxiousness in your eyes making his stomach sink. 

“then i can promise he won’t be anywhere near you.”

the words send warmth through your body, your heart fluttering and cheeks turning pink as you bite your lip to hide your smile, hyunjin’s hand reaching down to interlace your fingers. you don’t miss the way the blonde’s face warms a little bit too in the dark room, turning your body and resting your head on his shoulder lazily as you talk with san and the rest of the boys.

you miss the way yeosang and mingi hold seonghwa back from charging over there, the shorter boy looking at his friend in confusion. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he snaps, pulling the boy back by his shirt. “we just got here. you’re not about to start shit.”

“i’m not gonna start anything, i just have to-”

“stop,” wooyoung says firmly, knowing all too well the feeling seonghwa is experiencing right now; but he also knows nothing will come of acting on it. of charging over there and tearing you away from the blonde, of growling out that you’re his and shouldn’t be with other people. 

the dirty blonde snaps his head to wooyoung and resists the urge to punch him in the mouth, letting out an annoyed huff before shrugging himself away from yeosang and walking toward the kitchen to grab a drink. a drink that he holds on to for the next thirty minutes of the party, keeping the same cold bottle in his hand so people don’t ask why he’s not drinking.

he hates this shit. 

drinking and partying and mingling, passing a poorly rolled joint around like all of this is gonna make him wanna be here when really, it’s the last thing he wants. he can’t believe he’s been sitting here as long as he has, leg bouncing as he watches you smile up and chat with hyunjin as a blush spreads on your cheeks. 

there’s a hot burning feeling of anger and rage and possessiveness growing in his chest, something you brought out in him within the first few weeks of meeting. and he knows he deserves to feel this way, that he hurt you and made you feel bad and basically pushed you into another man’s arms. 

but that doesn’t mean he’s not mad. and that doesn’t mean he won’t stop it because how could he watch that? how could he sit here and watch you with someone else when he wants you to be with h-

“hyunjin,” you giggle drunkenly, feeling his breath tickle the skin of your neck. 

you both had been watching san and his friends banter back and forth, the boys loud and talkative and crazy as they relive their middle school memories. about the pranks they pulled on teachers and how much trouble they always got into. 

about how san and changbin had gone from absolutely hating each other to becoming the closest in the group; san thought changbin was mean and scary and changbin thought san was annoying and soft - and perhaps you could see what both of them were saying. 

because changbin did have a darker look in his eye, easily getting annoyed and shoving his friends around but also blocking their falls when they were about to smack into the wall. it’s nice to see san hanging out with a group of rowdy boys since these past months, he’s only been with you - a emotional, baggage-filled teenage girl. 

“what?” he whines lowly, squeezing at your hips again and causing your heart to stutter in your chest. 

it feels nice to have someone touch you again, touch you in a way that warms your body and makes you feel liked and desired. you’d gotten so used to it with....him and it’s almost like for the time being, your fragile heart is temporarily healing. 

you know the feeling is different and you know you don’t like it as much but at least hyunjin is sweet.

because you also you know tomorrow, or maybe even in a few hours, you’ll go back to normal. sad that you have to ignore the boy you love and mad that he’s making you do it in the first place. confused and irritated at just how much your head was in the clouds this summer.

but for tonight, you don’t care about any of that. you only care about that way this other boy is making you feel, someone who was a stranger when the night started but made you so comfortable so fast. made you happy and giggly and acted as the perfect distraction from the eyes that have been piercing into you all night. 

you made sure not to to look anywhere but the corner you and the boys were in, turning in hyunjin’s hold and reaching up to play with his long blonde hair.

“you...shouldn’t ever cut this,” you hiccup, a cute smile crossing the boy’s face at the sound of it.

“you like it?” he mumbles, biting down on his lip at the way your nails graze his scalp. 

he’d been on his best behavior all night, shy smiles and innocent touches as he got to know you and saw you come out of your shell bit by bit; it probably helped that he was just as nervous and uncomfortable as you.

but now, with a few drinks in him and the way you’re looking at him, he feels himself losing it. losing the resolve to be good and just wanting feel your lips against his for a second; nothing more, nothing less. 

“i like everything about you,” you say teasingly, your hand moving down to twist his necklace around your finger. the metal pulling at his neck causes his adams apple to bob, his eyes falling to your mouth at the exact moment you slip your tongue out to wet your dry lips.

the music is blaring and you think a group of kids are fighting but you can only hear the ringing in your ears and the pounding of your heart, cocking your head to the side when the eyes that have been so soft and sweet turn dark and hungry. 

“everything about me?” 

and with the way his voice drops and a pretty smirk crosses his mouth, like he knows exactly what’s he’s doing, you twist the chain between your fingers and pull him closer to you. 

his large hand moves to your face, the sound of your breathy exhale causing desire to hit him. every reaction you have is so cute and innocent despite the boldness behind them, your lingering eyes and lips pulled into a smirk making him wanna do this all night.

have your hair tangled in his hand, pulling you closer until your lips finally meet and part on one another. your tongues colliding and moans being swallowed as he presses you against the wall. hearing you sigh out his name and make sure you want to see him and kiss him.

but he doesn’t get the chance. 

because just before your lips can meet, he's harshly grabbed by the back of his shirt and shoved across the room. your eyes pop open when you nearly fall forward if not for the hard chest you bump into as seonghwa towers over you; his eyes hot and blazing and face so tense it makes your stomach swoop in nervousness.

"y/n," he growls and you immediately feel your heart start to pound, narrowing your eyes at him.

"what do you want, seonghwa?"

"what the fuck," you hear hyunjin shout, watching as the blonde stomps toward him. seonghwa rolls his eyes upon hearing it, turning around and catching the quick fist flying his way. it shocks hyunjin as much as you but the boy doesn’t show his reaction reacts, sneering at him as he asks what the hell is his problem is.

"has nothing to do with you so back off, hyunjin."

"she said she didn't wanna see you," he retorts, ripping his hand from seonghwa's grasp and pushing at him. he hits the back of the wall and you wince at the loud sound, standing in front of hyunjin as you see the dirty blonde make his way over.

"st-stop," you drunkly whine, pressing yourself back into hyunjin and causing seonghwa to growl out your name lowly. 

"no. he's right. i didn't wanna see you."

he bites the inside of your cheek when those words leave your mouth, your heart sinking at the way his face every so slightly drops and eyes twinge with hurt.

"just give me five minutes. i need it."

"and i need you to leave me alone. i've given you almost three months, what's so different now?"

you were with someone else, he thinks, you were with someone else and there's nothing he hates more than seeing his girl with a guy who's not him. he's had to watch it all fucking night and it's killing him, making him so god damn angry and jealous he thinks he's about to explode.

but if you guys kissed, he'd be over. he would've gone over and beat the shit out of the long, blonde haired boy watching you two right now with curious eyes.

"y/n," he growls again.

but you only roll your eyes because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his pride. he saw you with someone else while you haven't looked his way, smiling and giggling and trying to forget him in the arms of someone else.

and it was working, it really was working. your heart feel like something other than the breaking, crumbling mess it's been since the moment you left your aunt's house. since the stupid boy looking at you like you're the one hurting him started this mess in the first place.

"i don't wanna talk to you!" you whine loudly, stomping the few steps toward him and pushing him back with all the force you can muster; but given your size difference and drunken state, he doesn't go far. he only clenches his jaw and wraps his hand around your wrist, dragging you outside despite you telling him to stop manhandling you.

you don't know where san is, thinking those two conspiring assholes made their moves on you at the same time, and you hear hyunjin's friend telling him not to cause problems with them. but you don't wanna be anywhere near him, especially in this vulnerable state.

because you know you're gonna end up crying and you're so fucking sick of crying. so sick of saying the same things to him and then hearing his lousy apologies over and over again. having the memories of your summer play in your mind when he says a certain word or gives you a familiar look.

you're so sick of him and a part of you wishes you never met him. that you just spent your summer quietly inside or at the beach with your aunt so you didn't realize you were capable of being loved by a man like him, even if it was just for a short time and in private.

even if everything might've been a lie. because it's the memories of him that makes this so hard, remembering how the same boy who could look so unbothered about you was the same boy who'd mumble into your skin that he loved you.

the same boy who now dragged you outside, the crisp night air cooling your warm, flushed skin. you cross your arms as you look up at him with your face pinched in anger, tears of frustration already pricking your eyes.

"what is wrong with you!" you yell, your hands balling into fists as you resist the urge to stomp your foot and smack him. his eyes narrow and he steps forward, his large hand taking your face in his hold. his thumb rubs at your hot skin gently, anger coursing through him at himself.

this is his fault. this is all his fault and now you're sad and drunk and ready to cry.

"you're drunk," he states obviously. you roll your eyes at his statement, biting the inside of your cheek so you don't say the vengeful comment that wants to leave you.

but because you are drunk and pissed and not in your right frame of mind, you say it anyway.

"so what," you snap at him. "if you're thinking that's why i was about to make out with hyunjin, then you're absolutely-"

anger flares in his eyes and he tugs you closer to him, tightening his hold on you. everything inside of you is screaming to push him away and yell at him, tell him he doesn't get to do this anymore; that you're not his and you never were.

but you can't find the words in your fuzzy brain, looking up at his dark gaze and feeling a sense of pride in how angry that made him, especially when his words are lowly growled at you.

"you better fuckin' stop, y/n."

"i don't think i will," you say, pressing your body closer to him and moving your finger over his lips. "i think i'll kiss you both and see who does it better." his jaw tightens at the same time his hands on your wrist and hip do, growling another warning "stop it," in your ear. 

"why? at least hyunjin was gonna kiss me in front of people.”

your words are powerful and biting but the hurt in them is obvious. hurt that's been building up for months and festering. "he even talked to me all night in front of people. and you just watched from a-far, as usual," you hiccup, "like you didn't even know me."

his eyes soften at your tone and he drops your wrist from his hold, looking down at you carefully in case you're gonna try to flee. but your vengeful look is quickly changing to sadness, seeing him stand in front of you with his gaze softening by the second.

"y/n, baby, i would talk to you but-"

"but nothing," you snap, your eyes shooting to his. "i am so fucking sick of us having this conversation, seonghwa. just admit i wa-wasn't anything to you and we can move on with our lives."

"stop. fucking. saying that," he says, taking your face in his hands and holding it tightly. his warm hands on your skin makes tears prick your head, his chest heaving as he tries to control the emotions ripping through him.

"stop giving me hope," you cry out, "stop making me think you're gonna admit that you love me. that you loved me at all and actually considered giving us a chance."

the more you get worked up, the more you start to hiccup and the tighter he holds you. he hates seeing you like this and it's obvious in the way his stomach is sinking, how he just wants to take you back to his house and mumble apologies against your skin until you give him another chance.

"i do love you."

"w-we knew each other for two months, that's not enough time to love.”

because that’s another thing you started to think. maybe you both were just confused about what you felt, so consumed by teenage lust and fascination that you convinced yourselves it was love; you didn’t think that was the case for you, but maybe for him.

maybe it wasn’t enough time for him to love.

"yes it is," he growls, pushing you back until you hit the brick wall behind you. you swallow nervously at how close he's pressed up against you. he can smell the alcohol on you mixed with the scent of your perfume and he remembers it so vividly.

lingering when you would pass him on the beach, faintly on the case of his pillow after you would sleep in his bed, tickling his nose when you would fall asleep on his shoulder; even when you were sick and smelt like sweat, you had that scent.

"don't fucking tell me it's not enough time when you're the only person i've ever felt like this about," he says lowly, his voice low and deep and so full of certainty, your stupid little heart lifts again. "and i know you feel the same way."

you swallow the lump in your throat and tears are burning your eyes at the way he's so close to you. his hand’s right next to your head and his body is right against yours, finding comfort in the feeling you were so trying so hard to forget.

but because you know seonghwa would never hurt you and welcome his presence despite everything, you don't realize how bad this position looks.

not until an unfamiliar, feminine voice speaks up.

"hey! get the hell away from her!"

"jojo, they might be-"

"she's about to cry, that's definitely fucking not-"

"okay, relax!”

the small girl with long brown hair looks at you with sympathy swarming in your eyes, her friend eyeing seonghwa suspiciously and looking ready to fight him.

"hey, are you okay?"

your lip wobbles at the soft kindness of the girl's voice, the one named jojo looking between you and seonghwa. "ye-yes," you hiccup, shooting the girls a small smile as they narrow their eyes. "i promise, i'm okay. we're just....talking."

"why are you pinning her against the wall?" the girl asks, feisty and eyes blazing; seonghwa can smell the alcohol on her breath but has a feeling she's usually this bold without the liquid courage.

"i'm just talking to her."

“you can’t talk to her without towering over her?”

seonghwa looks at girl with an annoyed look, throwing his hands up innocently before taking a few steps away from you.

the girl looks at you and you nod your head to confirm that it’s okay and you are just talking, eyes shining with gratitude despite the tears in them. the two girls look at you for a few silent moments before nodding their heads.

"we'll be around, if you need help call out."

"thank you but i promise i'm okay," you hiccup, the girl giving the tall boy one last dirty look before walking away.

"you can't just do that shit, jo. you have to be careful."

"oh please, what were his chicken legs really gonna do?"

you wanna laugh at the girls comment but can only feel sadness in your chest, you and seonghwa looking at each other as his hands run through his light hair. your eyes train on the floor and he lets out a long exhale, looking at your dejected, drained figure.

"i was never more honest about my shit than when i was with you this summer, y/n," he finds himself finally saying truthfully. 

he was happiest with you, he wished he could be like that all the time and wanted nothing more than that. wished he could believe every day of his life that he was good for you and treat you as such.

you swallow the lump in your throat and the tears are stinging your eyes so badly at the way he's saying this. how his words always sound so true and genuine and make your heart soar.

"but now you're lying," you squeak out shakily, your watery eyes meeting his and making his lips turn into a frown. "you're lying and it's hurting me. i feel like...i feel like i don’t even know what the truth is anymore.” 

he swallows the lump in his throat at your words, watching your eyes roam his face before a tear runs down your cheek. 

"i wish i never met you," you blurt out honestly, your words breathy and full of sadness. "because you've hurt me so badly and have made me so sad but i still..." you can't say the words that you still love and want him because it's so stupid.

"come here," he says, his voice low and pained but direct as he looks at you. a whimper leaves your mouth as you shake your head at him, trying to back away from him but only pushing yourself further into the wall.

"no," you brokenly whisper, voice small and shaky as you feel all the giddy drunkenness drain from you. now it's like every sad and heartbroken emotion you've felt hits you tenfold, your chest and stomach physically paining you.

"please, baby," he says lowly, his voice making your stomach twist even more.

"we're gonna figure it out but, please baby, for now, i need you with me. i'm here with you. we're both here and we have time left together."

you stay planted against his shirt until your tears stop falling, nodding your head against him and feeling your face flush with embarrassment. you hadn't meant to avoid him all day but you were just so sad when you realized how many days you had left with him. until you were ripped apart and wouldn't see other for god knows how long.

"i know it's hard and i'm not mad at you," he says again when he sees guilt and shame in your eyes. "but i'm here. how many times did i have to say it, pretty girl," he hums lowly, his hand running softly through your hair as his tone is laced with slight amusement.

"you can't call me that," you say, shaking your head as tears continue to blur your vision. "or look at me like that. it's not fair."

his eyebrow quirks up and he takes another step toward you, his heart dropping at the way your face falls even more. you know he's about to reach out and hug you and pull you into his arms and you're gonna crumble. cry into his chest and have him stroke your hair and tell you everything's gonna be okay.

but it's not okay. how he's treated you isn't okay. how he's discrediting everything you guys had isn't okay. and it's not okay that every part of you is gonna be willing to forgive him.

"none of this is fair," you say when he leans closer, voice dripping with anger and sadness as you smack at his chest. "you're hurting me and you could give a shit and i wish i never fucking met you. why did you do this?" 

you knock your fists into his chest and he takes every single one as he wraps his arms around you and pulls your body closer.

he shushes your muffled cries against your head, muttering that he's so sorry over and over again. sorry that he knew he wasn't good for you but allowed this to happen anyway and sorry that he can't say he wishes he never met you.

because meeting you was quite easily the best thing that ever happened to him and he thinks it's about time he proves that to you. he holds you until it seems as if every last tear is out of your system, your body slumping into his chest before he hears your breaths even out.

(part 18)