#like ok i need to find out how to move my furniture because i only just bought my mattress and i won’t leave without my books

[percysheliey]

besties i think im serious about moving to london after i graduate ….

[moongreenlight]

ok ok so about this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/moongreenlight/729759450340130816/headcanons-for-captain-john-price-and-his-very

i was reading it while listening to mozart’s requiem: confutatis maledictus

https://youtu.be/hN7DZhGNCxY?si=knTn38X98KovFvzL

and i was thinking what if the age gap is the same BUT reader was also military?

like this sweet little thing who dresses in pretty, dark red cherry print skirts used to have the same dark red splotches of blood on their uniform in the field. reader who’s a bit deranged, who plays the strings on her violin until the deep indents on her fingertips threaten to cut and bleed. a bit strange reader who immediately snaps her head to the slightest out of place sound on her private garden, face dropping from her stepford smile into a focused scowl. loose screwed reader who demands the cook to cook the same dish 4 times on a random thursday because it didn’t taste like the same as when he prepared it 4 months ago. bit rabid reader who keeps her staff dogs on a tight leash, including her husband, demanding things to be done on her standards. pretty show cat reader who hisses and scratches when john doesn’t greet her with the same amount of joy at the door when he has a bad day at work.

this cat, no matter how pampered and spoiled, never fully became domesticated to be a house cat, still feral under her shiny new coat. her new appearance however, is truly just a guise over her rabid tendencies. god forbid john ever pushes readers buttons because his things will get destroyed, his ego deflated, his paperweights cracked, his uniforms ripped at the seams, sturdy until needed, his pens lacking any more ink, fountain pen nibs bent ever so slightly, furniture moved every so slightly, hair and facial appointments cut in half and only being once a week.

i just LIVE for deranged!reader. i love love love it when reader is the crazy one too who feeds and takes ideals from her husband 😼😼😼

Katz I am almost certain you read my rough draft for these Headcanons because I swear to you I almost wrote reader like this. Your mind. You also know I’m a sucker for an animal comparison you literally forced me to write this. :’(

I am a crazy bitch SYMPATHIZER. She is me I am her. It takes a lot of me not to write every reader as a little off their fucking rocker but I’m glad you’re endorsing this.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

He probably takes a liking to you shortly after you start training. Catches you tearing into one of your bunk mates viciously for leaving one (1) sock on the ground next to their hamper. Doesn’t bother to break it up, just immediately goes back to his office and figures out who your training officer was and how quickly he could get you switched into his group.

He pulls rank on Soap to get him to agree to let you switch over. He doesn’t look happy about it, but he huffs and agrees to take a significantly less advanced rookie in exchange for you. Completely unfair trade, but Price is over the moon about it.

He doesn’t come off too strong at first because you’re young. Just turned twenty and joined the military to get loans for uni. He knows he’s much too old for you.

But still, he lets his hands linger on your waist when he’s correcting your posture, kicks your feet apart and plants his leg between yours when he’s teaching you how to properly handle a shotgun. Hears his other rookies complaining about you being favored by him because you’re the only one he’ll compliment during sessions.

Doesn’t even bother saying anything about the rumors spreading because you beat him to the punch- sometimes literally. Like he’s fairly certain you shot the worst offender in the foot on purpose during a mission to shut them up.

A few months go by with no real progress and no real payout until one day after training he wanders back to his office and finds you already sitting there waiting for him. You say something about how you’re hoping to advance pretty quickly after training, you wonder if he sees any potential in you. Lean over his desk and bat your lashes and ask what he thinks about giving you some private lessons, only if he has time of course. He nearly passes out.

And then a year later you’re married. He doesn’t have time to dick around, nor does he want to, and he now knows you well enough to know that you’ll throw a proper tantrum if things aren’t done exactly to your liking, so sure, it was a quick turnaround, but you really did love each other.

I think he asks a few times if you’ll leave the service, and you shut him down immediately. Scowling and pulling a face at the suggestion. Saying no just to say no. And then you go spent like $600 at the shops with his card. So he learns to keep his mouth shut and just supplement you with the life he wants you to have until you come to your own decision to be discharged.

And while you’ve grown accustomed to your new plush life, you never quite lose your fire. Truly, you’re a feral little thing turned prized show cat. You let him dote on you and provide you with all the finer things in life. Let him preen you and dress you up and play his perfect little wife. Oftentimes gives people the impression he’s got you tucked under his thumb when the reality of the situation is quite the opposite.

You let him play captain when you visit him at work or when he brings the boys over for drinks. Smile and stay relatively quiet tucked in by his side when you’re hosting dinner. Put on a nice outfit and a big smile when he introduces you to his chain of command during holiday parties and outings. You’ve gotten quite good at playing domestic.

But you like things exactly how you like them. Very particular about your life and your house and the people in it. You make it abundantly clear that it’s your way or no way at all.

Lounging out by the pool in the back while the landscapers work and noticing as they’re trying to slip out the gate that they didn’t properly trim the grass around the perimeter of the fence, so you storm out after them and hiss and yowl your complaint until they fix their mistake. Making a spectacle in your tiny bikini in front of the whole neighborhood until they finally correct the issue. Then you shake off any irritation and flash them a bright smile and offer your thanks like nothing had happened.

Hovering around the cook in the kitchen irritatingly close after you’ve asked them to prepare a dish that your mother used to make when you were a child. Peeking over their shoulder and punctuating their work with comments and corrections that are presented like suggestions, but everyone understands they’re demands. Going so far as to dump their progress in the trash when they’re not following your instruction well enough.

Sending John to work for two weeks straight with an empty bag that was supposed to hold his lunch because you’d asked him to please stop kicking off his mucked up work boots directly in front of the front door when he got home and he didn’t. Not even bothering to make up an excuse as to why you wouldn’t be coming to base when he called to ask if you’d bring him food. Simply saying no and ending the call no matter how many times he apologized.

Spilling his mug of tea over paperwork if you felt like he wasn’t paying you enough attention. Even if you were sat on his lap and obstructing his view of his desk.

Growing agitated with his working late so you go up to base when you know he’s out training and locking all of the drawers and cabinets in his office. Wearing the key on a dainty chain around your neck and telling him he can only have it back once you feel like he’s gotten his priorities straight. Calling in the aid of a handyman to bolt the mail slot on his door shut so he had no excuse to be doing any excess work.

Pulling a duchess from Wolf of Wall Street and wearing tiny little dresses with no underwear. Intentionally bending at the waist in front of him and leaning over his desk with your elbows pushed together in front of you when he’s done something to piss you off. Batting his hand away when he tries to grope you.

Or what felt like the worst punishment of all to him- making a point of being in the shower when he came home. Not giving him the pleasure of giving you the lush bubble baths he loved so much. Sometimes just sitting in the bathroom with the water running until you heard the front door swing shut and turning it off. Coming out wrapped in a towel that barely covered you. water beading on your shoulders. Sauntering away from him with your tail flicking back and forth when he tried to voice his protest.

He’s infinitely patient with you. Mostly because he is absolutely infatuated, but also because he knew what he was getting into when he married you. He’ll correct you when you go too far for his liking. Maybe pull you over his knee and make you apologize for how you acted until he feels like you mean it. Giving you a mean swat to the ass every time you’re snarky or flat out refuse. Sometimes gets fed up with your smart mouth and shoves his cock down your throat for a few hours to remind you that speaking is a privilege and not a right. Or he’ll parade you around the house fully nude. Maybe forcing you to crawl around on all fours like the feral cat you are in front of all the staff (or the task force boys) just to remind you of your place. Has you curl up on the sofa next to him, even though the whole time you’re pouting like you didn’t do anything wrong. Looks at you over his newspaper with a mock-sympathetic smile but says nothing until you decide to get over your anger and settle in his lap. Purring while he smooths a hand over your hair.

[chaotic-super]

For Her Sake - Chapter 19

AO3 Link

Kara rushes to take a box out of Alex’s hands. Despite being told that she shouldn’t be doing any heavy lifting, she’s still doing her best to make the day more difficult by having everyone keep an eye on her so they can snatch boxes out of her hands as she tries to carry them into the new apartment.

“Alex, can you please stop? This is hard enough without us having to babysit you. I know you don’t like to feel like you’re not pulling your weight, but you can still do plenty of work just by pointing your finger at where everything can go.”

“So you can rearrange it later? No thanks. I’m going to go and start unpacking Lori’s things.” Alex hands over the box to Kara and stalks off with a scowl. She really does get grumpy when she can’t help out the way she wants. At least the others didn’t hear her little tantrum because they are outside getting more boxes and furniture from the van that Lena so kindly arranged for them to get so they can move everything into their new apartment.

Kara sighs and sets the box down atop the coffee table so she can find the label scratched onto the side of it with a sharpie. ‘Kara bedroom’. “Ok.” She mumbles to herself, heaving it back up and heading to what is going to be her new bedroom.

This is only the third box set down against one wall and the second she’s taken in there herself, but her heart flutters as she steps inside. It’s been a long while since she’s had her own space. Of course, she loves her sister and her daughter, and she can’t complain about their living situation before, but having this room will be hers, just hers. That feels like magic.

Not to mention the fact that she’s going to have her own bed too. They have had to take out another loan so they can get beds and furniture, but even Alex wasn’t too stressed about it, and that’s telling. Having stable jobs has done wonders for calming her anxiety. Kara is keeping the old bed so Alex can have a nice, comfy new mattress to help ease her back on the harder days, something firmer with more support.

“Hey, you. Are you hiding in here?” Lena’s voice breaks her away from her train of thought.

“Sorry, no. I was just thinking, is all.”

Lena sets another box down on the pile, one aptly labelled ‘Kara’s clothes.’

“Penny for your thoughts.” Lena leans against the doorframe idly, her arms crossing over her chest and her eyes dazzling in the light streaming in from the window.

Kara’s lips curl up into a tender smile. “I was just thinking about how far we’ve come. From that other apartment and struggling to so much as put food on the table and the fear that we would be kicked out at a moment’s notice, which I guess did happen, to us getting lucky and finding this place. We both have jobs, Lori’s happy, I’m happy, I’m going to have my own space for the first time in god knows how long. I have my good luck charm of a girlfriend. I couldn’t be happier.”

Lena glides forward, wrapping her arms around Kara’s waist and resting her forehead on her shoulder. “For the record, you make me very happy too. I’m so proud of you guys for doing all of this.”

“Lena, you caused all of this. We couldn’t have done it without you. We owe it all to you.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I might have helped a little, but you would never have gotten this far if you didn’t have the drive and the love you do. Hell, you got the job at Reign yourself. Sam would have never hired you if you didn’t fit the bill for the staff she needed, and I wouldn’t have hired Alex without her expertise. You’ve got to give yourself more credit.”

“I can give myself credit whilst acknowledging how much you’ve changed my life for the better and being immensely grateful that I met you.” Kara nuzzles her nose into Lena’s hair briefly before leaning back and pressing her lips to Lena’s for a brief moment. She can scarcely believe that she can actually do that now.

Lena shakes her head at her fondly. “One day, I’ll get you to take a compliment.”

“I look forward to that day.” Kara presses another kiss to soft, red lips before pulling Lena to the door by her hands. “Come on, let’s go grab the rest of the boxes, I want to hurry so we can go furniture shopping.”

“I thought you were going to wait and do that in a few days once you’ve unpacked a bit.”

Kara shrugs. “Originally, yeah. We were going to wait until after payday, but then we realized that we still only have one bed and we want to get everything set up so we took out a little loan that we think we can pay off within a couple of months. Lori is super excited about having her own room, so it felt harsh to move in but tell her she can’t stay there because we haven’t bought her a bed yet.”

Lena nods along. “You don’t have to justify anything to me, but I think that sounds like an excellent plan. Besides, it’s probably a good idea to get it all while you have the van at your disposal. I dread to think what it would look like trying to fit anything more than a nightstand in Winn’s car.”

Kara points her finger at Lena. “That’s a very good point.”

“Ok, let’s go and get the rest of the stuff inside so we can go and do that.” Together they start heading out of Kara’s room, but as they pass Lori’s room, Lena spots Alex sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Hey, I’ll catch up in a minute, ok?”

“Sure,” Kara replies.

Lena ducks inside, taking up a similar position against the doorframe to earlier. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“I’m just taking a minute.”

“Whilst pouting?”

Alex heaves out a sigh, leaning back into the wall and letting her head thump back into it. “I just thought I would be happier.”

Lena swings the door behind her until it’s almost shut and slides down the wall until she’s seated next to her. “Why aren’t you happy?”

“I don’t know. I expected to be all excited to actually move in and have a bed to myself. To have a proper space again and be back on my feet. Instead, I feel kind of…numb, I guess.”

“That’s ok, you know? Sometimes it’s the expectation that ruins a moment for us.”

Alex tilts her head towards Lena, her mouth twisting to one side as she thinks. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been too preoccupied thinking about what I could do, all the plans I had for getting everything set up and decorated, that I let my mind run wild, so when we got here and my back and legs started playing up, it kind of burst my bubble.”

Lena rests her hand on Alex’s shoulder, squeezing briefly. “It’s ok to be disappointed, you know?”

“I know. I guess I’m just angry that my disappointment is greater than my joy.”

“Then let’s get your joy levels up.”

“How?”

“We’re going to get the couch out of the van, then you’re going to sit your ass down, get the website up for whichever furniture place is closest and start picking stuff out. We’re going on a shopping spree on my dime. You can put your wallet away and let me help you spruce this place up.”

Alex looks at her, exasperation practically dripping out of every pore. “You know I’m not going to accept that, right?”

“Well, I’m already going to take Lori around the store and let her pick out what she wants. You might as well get in on the fun.”

Raising her eyebrow at Lena in challenge, Alex questions her. “Has Kara said you can spend money on Lori like that?”

“Of course not.”

“And If I was to offer a proposal of you getting Lori’s stuff and one item for me and Kara, would that stop you from trying to buy us more?”

Lena shrugs. “That depends on the item.”

“Dining table?”

“Done. I love having dinner with you guys but I have the cramp I get in my calf when I have to sit around that table.”

Lena stands up and offers her hand to Alex, who takes it and uses it to heave herself up off the floor. “Kara’s going to be pissed when she finds out.”

Brushing her off and throwing a cheeky grin over her shoulder, Lena calls out, “She’ll get over it.”

-

“Where have Lena and Lori gotten to?” Kara looks around, heaving her cart that has precariously balanced flatpack boxes stacked inside it that are too long and overhang the edges.

Alex shrugs casually. “How would I know?”

“Do you think we should pay for these things first, get them in the van and then come back in so we’re not lugging them around the entire store?” Kara questions.

“That’s a pretty good idea. We can do that and then find the others. I’m sure Winn, Sam and Ruby are meant to be helping us with this stuff too. Everyone got a cart so we could get everything but they’ve all disappeared.”

They go and pay for the one double bed they have stuffed into the cart and a pair of cheap nightstands. There’s still a lot more they could do with getting but this cart is full.

They get it loaded into the van, careful to stack it nicely so everything will fit when they come back with more, before they go back inside with their fingers crossed that they’ll be able to find the rest of the group. The group that they will never go furniture shopping with again.

“I think Lena might have taken her to find a bed and a set of drawers for her room so let’s head over that way.” Kara points in the direction of where she guesses they might be.

“Or we could just keep getting out stuff first. I’m sure they’re fine.” Alex tries to stall her.

Kara ignores her though, not even processing what she just said. “I have a feeling Lori will pick out the most expensive bed there is. We’ll have to deal with a pouty kid later on.”

“I don’t think so. I think she’ll be happy to sleep in her own room so she’ll forget all about it once we’ve got her set up.” Alex taps her arm as she spots something on the end of an aisle. “Hey, glow-in-the-dark stars you can stick onto a ceiling. Shall we get a pack for Lori? I think she’d like them, and it might ease her nerves if she gets anxious sleeping alone for the first time in a long time.”

Kara picks up a pack, checks how many are in there and determines that one pack is plenty. “That’s a really great idea, Alex. I hadn’t even thought about that. Now that you mention it though, I’m expecting her to wake me up, but I’m sure a little cuddle time will be enough to calm her down enough to get her back to sleep.”

Kara is both looking forward to sleeping alone in a real bed and dreading it. In reality, she thinks that she might be the one that is going to struggle with it. She’s not going to admit that to Alex though, she’ll call her a wimp and tell her to enjoy the privacy, which she will also be doing.

Tossing the stars into the cart, they get going again and luckily find Lena and Lori pretty easily. They’re hard to miss with the gigantic cart filled to the brim with stuff and a second cart behind them that Winn is pushing. One is filled with boxes of furniture, and the other holds a mattress and a bunch of smaller items.

“What in the world is going on?” Kara announces her presence with an exclamation of pure shock. “Lena, what’s happening right now?”

Lena looks back at her with her usual calm, suave attitude that isn’t currently doing much to calm Kara’s rapidly beating heart. She can’t afford all of that stuff. Half of it isn’t even necessary, it’s just random bits and bobs that Lori probably picked up on a whim.

“We’re getting stuff to decorate Lori’s room with, and before you panic, it’s on me. I’m determined to become her favourite person and I’m not above using money to take that role.” The joke falls flat with Kara, but everyone else chuckles at the quip.

“Lena, it’s too much.”

“Nope. It’s not and this is going to help some of my favourite people in the long run so I don’t regret it even a little bit.”

Kara shakes her head. “I can’t let you—”

“You’re not letting me do anything. I’m doing it and you’re going to either accept it and be mad at me or accept it and help us build this stuff when we get back to your place.”

“Have you always been this bossy?”

Lena smiles proudly knowing she’s won. “Yep.”

Kara doesn’t want to give in so easily, but Lori is perched on Lena’s hip with a massive grin while Lena smiles down at her like she’s the most adorable thing on the planet, which is kind of is. “Show me what you’ve got then.”

Lori wiggles to get down from where she’s being held so she can run over to Kara and drag her to the first cart. “Look, Mama. Lena’s getting me a princess bed!”

Kara looks down at the picture on the side of one of the boxes and her eyes just about bulge out of her head. “Are we sure this is going to fit in her room? This looks massive.”

Lena reassures her quickly. “Yes, I measured her room before we left. I actually measured all of the bedrooms because I figured you guys would forget.”

“We did,” Alex announces proudly, clapping Lena on the back as she passes her to peer into the cart Winn is leaning over while he yawns, not caring much for the shopping trip and wishing they would have let him wait in the van.

“I was going to get a normal bed, but given the fact that it’s a small room, I thought this would be better.”

Kara takes another look at the bed and has to admit that Lena has a point. It’s a raised bed with storage built beneath it on one side and empty space beneath it on the other side that is covered with a curtain that makes it look like a princess’ castle. It’s perfect for Lori and will solve their space issues. It completely negates their need for any other storage because there’s a wardrobe on one side with a couple of drawers. They can get a toy chest or something to go in the empty space and maybe a little set of shelves or something too. It’s perfect and very very expensive. It’s definitely out of her price range. “You’re sure?” Kara checks again.

“Certain,” Lena confirms. “I think we should get a little beanbag chair for beneath the bed so she can hang out in there.”

“That’s a good idea. I’m getting that though. Plus more storage for the thousands of toys you’ve got in that other cart.”

Lena shakes her head. “No, you’re really not. I’ve got Lori’s room covered.”

“Lena.”

“Kara.”

“Lori!”

Both women look down at the grinning little girl who just wants to be included and burst into a round of giggles. Lena swings her back up onto her hip and wriggles her fingers against her smile to draw a burst of laughter out of her. “Hey, Lori? You don’t mind if I spoil you a little, do you?”

Lori shakes her head quickly and Lena pins Kara with a look that screams, ‘I win’.

“That’s not surprising.” Kara’s shoulders sink as she fully gives in to the fact that Lena is about to buy everything Lori could ever wish for just because she can.

They keep going, Lori occasionally pointing at things and Lena offering up others before the little girl even sees them. Half of this stuff will end up in the living room because there’s no way all of these toys will fit in her bedroom.

Once they leave the kids' section, Kara sighs in relief. Alex already had to go and get a third cart for the storage unit Lena insisted on getting, the beanbag chair, and a bunch of other random things.

“This is it, right?” Kara asks, sounding almost desperate. “No more?”

“Well…” Lena trails off, now feeling a little guilty at seeing that her buying all these things makes Kara feel a little uncomfortable. “I promised Alex a dining table, but I swear that I’ll stop after that.”

The desperate look is replaced by one of confusion, her eyebrows pulling together and her lips curling down. “Alex asked for a dining table?”

“Well, I offered. I love having dinner with you guys.”

“But?”

“But my legs hurt sitting on the floor. I need a proper chair. I don’t care if that makes me stuck up either.” Lena goes straight into defence mode, only stopping when she sees Kara trying to hold back her laughter. “It’s not funny.”

“it is a little bit.”

“No.”

Kara pinches her fingers together but leaves a tiny gap. “A little?”

Lena opens her mouth to argue but doesn’t bother. She copies Kara’s hand movement before turning and pushing the cart away. “Hey, where the hell are Sam and Ruby?”

Kara shrugs. “I think they ditched us to do their own thing a while back.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. I was hoping they would come join us with their carts.”

“I already bought some stuff. Alex and I took it out to the van and then came back in so we wouldn’t be lugging it about.”

Lena nods approvingly. “That’s a good plan. Let’s go do that, and then I can fill these carts back up.”

“You can what?”

“Stand by and not buy anything else.” Lena huffs. “Except maybe—”

“No.”

-

Kara runs a hand down her face, harsh and uncoordinated. If she thought going shopping with the group was stressful, then she was sadly very, very wrong. This is stressful. Putting together furniture when someone else is trying to put together something else next to her, messing up her screws with theirs, and getting mad when they can’t find the screwdriver they tucked into their pocket ten minutes ago is one of the worst experiences of her life.

She’s certain that Lena had the right idea when they got back. She immediately had everyone help her take Lori’s bed into their room and then promptly banished everyone out of there so she could work on it herself, the door only opening so she can occasionally toss out the boxes when they’re empty or to use the hallway as extra space when she has particularly large parts floating around that she doesn’t need yet.

“Kara, have you taken my—”

“Under your knee. Stop accusing me.” Kara cuts Winn off, trying to figure out if the sweat dripping down her temple is more annoying than being accused of theft for the sixth time in a two-hour window.

“Oh yeah, thanks.” Winn grabs it, no hint of an apology in sight.

Huffing a little, Kara pushes herself to her feet. Stretching out her back as she stands and limping away because of the rush of pins and needles to her foot, she heads for the kitchen so she can grab a drink. She needs a minute away from the group before she throws something at them, something she’s only preventing herself from doing at the minute by reminding herself that they can’t afford to have to repurchase anything if it breaks.

Letting her eyes lazily wander over the drink options, she freezes when she sees a six-pack of beer sitting front and centre. She has no idea who bought it or when it got put in there, obviously sometime today, but she can’t pinpoint when, but she needs to know who did it so she can make sure they don’t do it again.

There are three missing from the pack, so she decides to do a little snooping and stealthily eyes the room of people in search of the bottles. One is found easily, right next to Alex, and another is on the floor just a few feet away from Winn, but the other is nowhere to be seen. Dread sits heavy on her chest.

Grabbing two sodas, she aims right for the hall to find out for sure.

Kara has to climb over the mountain of cardboard to get to the door of Lori’s room, and when she gets there, she knocks firmly. She doesn’t want to just open the door in case there’s anything on the other side that she could potentially knock over, so instead, she takes caution in her stride and waits for a response like a civilized human being.

The door cracks open a second later and when Kara sees Lena’s face, she has her answer.

“Lena?”

“I’m so sorry.” Lena turns away from her, her hands covering her face as she stoops over, tears freely running down her cheeks. “I know I shouldn’t have done it, I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Lena.” Kara tries to get her to turn back around, but Lena is too busy sobbing into her hands and visibly despising herself.

Kara clicks the door shut behind her, careful not to close it too harshly so she doesn’t startle Lena. She looks ready to be pushed over the edge into a panic attack as it is, which won’t help anyone.

The bottle is half empty and has been propped on the windowsill. Kara stares at it for a moment, debating on whether or not she should go and take it out of here, but the chances are that doing so would make the situation worse, that it would make Lena believe that she’s judging her.

“Lena. It’s ok.”

“It absolutely is not.” Lena swings around to look into her eyes. Teary green meeting worried blue. “I shouldn’t h-have done that.” She loses her words to a sob.

“I should have made sure nobody brought alcohol here, I’m sorry.” Kara tries, moving forward to gently skirt her hands over Lena’s forearms.

Lena shakes her head with a ferocity Kara isn’t expecting. “It’s not your fault. If I were strong enough, this wouldn’t have happened. I should have been able to resist it. I should have—”

“You shouldn’t have had to do anything.”

“I didn’t know he was going to bring me beer, I swear.” Lena diverts the conversation, proving that her mind is whizzing at a hundred miles per hour, a million thoughts ricocheting through her mind as she tries to catch up with the situation and figure out what to do now.

Kara frowns. “Who? Winn?”

Lena nods. “Yeah, It’s not his fault though. When he asked if I wanted a drink, I didn’t know he meant alcohol or else I would have turned him down, but when he put the open bottle in my hand and left before I could say anything, well…I couldn’t resist. I was halfway through it before my brain kicked in and I realized I had just ruined weeks’ worth of work. I was doing so well and just ruined it for half a bottle of cheap beer that tastes like ass.”

“Lena. The fact that you stopped says a lot. Come on, you started this whole thing because you didn’t like relying on alcohol, having half a beer whilst hanging out with friends and building furniture isn’t relying on it.”

Lena sighs. “I understand why you would say that, but I don’t think I ever really told you the extent of my drinking.”

Lena moves to sit down, choosing the only properly clear space in the room, the area beneath the bed, which is pretty much fully constructed, just the doors to the built-in wardrobe left to be added along with the little steps up to the bed. Kara follows her, sitting beside her as their backs press against the wall.

“It was worse than I said originally. I was too embarrassed to tell you how bad it got. I was drinking a lot. As soon as I got home, I was drinking. If I ever had the odd day off, I was drinking. Hell, sometimes, I was drinking at work. I had a cart there and everything. Jess got rid of it for me, but I know that if she didn’t, I would have kept drinking.”

“So, you’ve come a long way. That’s a good thing.”

“Kara, if I can’t resist it when it’s offered, I won’t be able to be sober. I just spent weeks just about keeping myself together, and I gave up too easily. In your four-year-old’s bedroom no less. You should be mad.”

Kara shrugs. “Sure, I’m not particularly happy anyone is drinking in Lori’s room, but I don’t blame you, Lena. I’m not mad. Maybe a little tiny bit disappointed if you really want the honest truth, but this is a journey for you. A little setback isn’t going to stop you, and now you know how terrible it feels to fail, you can use that to keep you from doing so again.”

“It’s not that easy.” Lena angles her body away from Kara, ashamed and downtrodden.

“Addiction never is.” Kara scoots closer until their thighs touch. “I’m not about to condemn you, Lena. You should know that I will support you in whatever way I can. Yes, I have Lori to think about, but you’ve made it very clear that I don’t have to worry about you putting her in danger. If the time comes when I do become worried about that, that’s a conversation that will have to happen, but at this moment in time, I think you’re trying your best and just need a little more help to reach your goals.

“Stay tonight, and tomorrow we can look into what could help. Maybe therapy or AA meetings. This is your journey and we have to find a system that works for you, not one built out of shame or anger. Instead, we’ll build one out of compassion and support. That’s what’s going to help.”

Tears openly roll down Lena’s face. “Thank you.”

“Any time.”

“I just feel so dumb for doing that. I thought I was better than that.”

Kara reaches over and tangles their fingers together. “You are better than that. One action doesn’t define a person. What defines you is what you do now.”

“I’m not drinking again.”

“And I’ll be here supporting you. So will Alex and Sam and everyone out there. You just have to let them in. If you don’t want to tell them, that’s fine too. Either way, this apartment has a new blanket rule: no alcohol allowed.”

Lena sags against the wall, leaning over and resting her head against Kara’s shoulder. “That’s not fair to the others, especially Alex. She deserves to be able to drink in her own home if she wants to.”

“I’ll speak to her. She doesn’t drink often anyway, so I don’t think she’ll mind only drinking at Winn’s place instead.”

“I’m so glad I met you.” Lena nuzzles in closer.

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

-

“Are you ready to see your room, Lori?” Kara asks cheerfully.

“Yes!” Lori jumps up excitedly and goes to run to her mom but Alex catches her, stopping her from doing so because there’s still a mess in the living room she doesn’t want her to trip over. Instead, she picks her up and sets her on her hip until they are in the hallway, which Kara and Lena have already cleaned up.

After their conversation, Kara sent Lena to clean herself up a little while she started tidying up before they finished the bed and the rest of Lori’s room together.

Kara didn’t know the true extent of all the things Lena bought for Lori until they were putting it all up and she’s been a cross between horrified and amused about the whole thing ever since. Logically, she knows that buying all of these things isn’t going to set Lena back any. She has more money than Kara can even fathom, but there’s still a level of guilt there. She isn’t with Lena for her money and she doesn’t want Lena to ever feel like she is. On the other hand, this is for Lori, who deserves the world. Kara can see how wonderful of an opportunity this is for Lori and can’t turn down Lena’s generosity when it helps Lori. Not that she thinks Lena would let her turn it down if she tried.

Lori grabs Lena’s hand as she passes her, which visibly eases the tension in her shoulders, and Kara is glad for the fact. She may have been able to help calm Lena a little and to reassure her that she’s not going anywhere, that she’s here for her, but there’s just something about the unconditional love a child can bring that Kara can see is healing Lena’s soul.

“Come on then, Ms Lori. I think you’ll like it. We’ve done our very best to make it a room fit for a princess such as yourself.” Lena pins a smile on her face, one that just barely reaches her eyes, but Kara doesn’t care. It’s progress and she’ll take it.

Kara grins as Lena opens the door annoyingly slowly to get Lori to pout a little before she opens it fully and allows her to see her new room. The space that is all hers, something she hasn’t had since before the accident, something she barely remembers, if at all.

“Do you like it?” Kara asks, already knowing what the answer will be.

Lori squeals. “I love it! Mama, I’ve got a castle bed!”

“Yes, you do, baby.” Kara strokes her hair, watching as Lori dives onto her bed, climbing the steps at a pace she didn’t know she could manage.

“Mama, Lena, look!” Lori bounces gently, peering down over the raised side that’s made to protect her in case she rolls in her sleep. “Look at the pretty stars!” She points up at the ceiling, the glow-in-the-dark stars already starting to shine as the daylight fades, marking how long they’ve been working on the apartment.

Lena moves closer to the edge of the bed, looking up at the stars. “Don’t tell your mama I said this, but those are my favourite, and she got you those.” She stage whispers, making Lori giggle.

“Me too, me too.” Lori laughs, holding her arms out for Lena to lift her off the bed so she can get to exploring the underneath part of the bed where the beanbag chair and toy storage is. Lena even managed to find a kid’s bookcase in a soft pink that matches the curtain perfectly for all of her books.

Kara wraps her arm around Lena’s waist, pulling her closer as Lori switches to completely ignoring them in favour of her new toys. She was unhappy when she was told earlier that she would have to wait until her room was done to play with them because they needed the space to build, so she’s making up for lost time. Kara does not doubt that she’ll have to pick Lori up off the floor, where she’ll pass out in a river of toys later.

Lowering her voice, Kara rests her head against Lena’s. “I know you think today has been a bust but look at her. Look how happy she is. You did that. I’m hoping I can make you as happy as she is one day. With how much crap we’ve faced since we’ve known each other, I think we’ve got a pretty solid foundation so far.”

“Me too, but just for the record, we might have only just started dating but so far, you’ve made me very happy.”

“You’ve made me happy too.”

Read chapters before anyone else on Patreon here!

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#345

“Well look who has come back?  I thought you would eventually grovel for your job.  So you went to Daryl, hunh?  You said what you had to say, and he, being the owner, just shrugged it off and told you to get back to work?  It’s funny how shit like that happens, isn’t it?  Would it come as a surprise to you that while you were complaining about me to him that he had my load in his ass?... 

“Yeah he called me in before your appointment.  I told him everything, including that your life is fucked for having to register as a sex offender for having consensual sex with a seventeen-year-old only two weeks away from turning eighteen.  He doesn’t give a shit about all that.  He just knows that you can’t find a job elsewhere in this tight town.  So welcome back.  My demands are the same.  If you accept your role as my cunt employee, strip….

“…There you go.  Damn, you are diving right in with our new arrangement.  I like your enthusiasm.  OK.  So I am going to expect a lot more than the blowjob I initially asked of you last week.  A lot more.  Going forward, each day after the last delivery truck returns, you are to report to my office.  If I am there you are to strip naked in front of me.  If not, you are to strip and bend over my couch and wait for at least 15 minutes.  If I don’t return, go back to work at your desk naked. 

“If I recall, you were getting evicted because of your status.  Well, I talked to the Daryl, and he’s fine with you moving into the apartment over the office.  But he agreed on one condition, that he still has access to it to bring tricks back from the adult theater, Ruby’s bookstore, or the glory holes at the rest stop up the highway.  I said that was fine.  He, you, and I will all have keys.

“You are to always keep it clean, that includes the sex toys and the furniture.  You will be living there rent free, that’s the least you can do.  You will be making the same pay, but you will be expected to do more for me. 

“I can’t take it anymore.  Those titties are too soft.  They need to be worked over.  Hold still.  Fuck yeah.  There is a direct line from your titties through my fingers to my dick.  Mmmm fuck.  I promised Daryl that he could watch you get claimed by me.  

“He and I go way back.  I met him at Ruby’s and then at the rest area.  I told him that I was looking for a job and he hired me on the spot as long as I promised to regularly fuck him.  I’ve been here nine years since.  We go out, every once in a while, into the city.  He loves to see me cunt a fag.  So you are going to be the fag tonight.

“These nips will be bloody by the end of the night….  Shut up!  I’ll smack you again.  I have no problem doing that.  Look.  We are setting you up very well.  You have a rent free apartment and a well paying job.  The apartment is far enough away so that you don’t have to worry about proximity to children.  All you have to do is be my cunt bitch fag. 

“Don’t give me that look.  I know you can do it.  Despite your protests that you are straight, I found out, just last week, that the seventeen-year-old, that you went to prison over, was a boy you picked up outside Ruby’s when he was kicked out for being under age.

“So you can knock off the ‘I’m straight’ bit.  You can still fuck all the women you want, but you will submit to my cock whenever I demand.  Thing is, I don’t ever want to hear about your escapades with women, you got that?  I told Daryl the same thing. 

“You will be required to tell me all the men you hook up with.  That will include any of the drivers.  Not all drivers we hire are in the know.  Some are.  This is a privilege I am extending to you.  You can be the top if you want.  But know that I own this pecker here.  Shut up.  If I want to squeeze so hard your balls pop I will, and it would be my right.  So don’t do anything stupid, or I’ll lock this thing up.

“You understand our agreement?...  You good with it?...  I said, ‘you good with it?’…  Good!  Glad to hear.  Now get on your knees.  I got to take a piss. 

“…Damn you must love being face slapped.  You think our thing is just tit torture and fucking?  Oh hell no.  You are going to drink my piss for starters.  I am going to do a lot of shit to you.  If you think you were getting cunted in the apartment with Daryl looking on, you would be mistaken.  After I finish pissing in your stomach, I’m going to tie you up naked in one of those delivery trucks and then we are going to this sex party in the city where you are secured in a sling.  I will be the first of a long line of men to gang bang you.  Daryl doesn’t know it yet, but he will be tied under you in a way that any ass slop that comes dripping out of your gape will go in his mouth.

“Now put my cock in your mouth and drink.”

[darkcrowprincess]

Luke, dying: Did you love me?

Annabeth: Like a—

Percy: Yes.

*Percy and Luke look into each other’s eyes and Percy kisses him gently.*

*I'm just going to go crazy with this! And borrow some inspiration from a show my mom likes called Grey's Anatomy. Also hope you don't mind me changing canon a bit.*

Nico didn't know what happened. At a certain point the whole building shook as if a tiny earthquake was happening. Loud painful screams filled everywhere. It terrified Nico because they sounded like someone familiar to him. They sounded like Percy Jackson.

Of course, before he could investigate Nico had slipped and hit his head from falling debre. He didn't know how long he was asleep. But he felt someone trying to wake him up.

"Nico wake up! Wake up I need your help!"

Nico finally did wake up, and he woke up to the last person he wanted to ever see. Blonde curly hair and silver eyes of one Annabeth Chase angrily starring down at him.

"Get up! I need your help!", the daughter of Athena stated. Not asked, stated, as if it was an already done deal. Nico ignores her and looks around. The room leading to the gods thrones and hearth is in shambles. Pieces of ceiling everywhere. Furniture broken, glass windows shattered. A pillar broken and fallen over is blocking the door way to the throne room.

"NICO! Are you even listening to me?"

"No. Where is Percy? You and Grover were suppose to be with him. What happened?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! Percy kicked us both out of the room. Than he started making earthquakes happen!"

Nico's eyes widen at this, both in fear and worry.

"Grover went to get help, I've been stuck by the door trying to move debris. Percy won't listen. He's all alone in there with him."

"With who? What exactly happened?"

Annabeths eyes go sad.

~flashback~

"I'm not giving him a knife so he can kill himself Annabeth!"

"It's part of the Prophecy you have to!"

"Percy it will be alright. I'm your enemy anyway remember?"

"NO!"

When the deed was done it felt like Percy had stabbed himself too. What makes him break and shatter is that he hands the knife. It has to be him.

Percy holding Luke in his arms after stabbing himself, Annabeth kneeling next to them. Blood is staining Percy's arms. Luke's breathing is slowly down. His blue sky eyes look hazy and clouded.

Luke looks up to both of them. His voice asks desperately, "Did you love me?" A bubble of blood comes out of his mouth and stains his lips. It makes Percy start crying, desperate too for every second so Luke can stay longer.

Annabeth starts to say, "I've only seen you as a brother, but I dont-

Before she can finish the room starts shaking. Percy with a dark voice and the ocean in his eyes, "Annabeth stop it!" It scares Annabeth into dead silence.

Than Percy turns back to Luke, "She loves you ok Luke. Even Thalia and the other campers still love you ok. They were angry at what you did, but everyone still loves you. Your mom still loves you."

Luke stares at Percy, as if waiting.

"I love you too, ok Luke. So you can't die. You have so many people who still love you." Percy sobs in between words.

Luke finally smiles, and brings Percy's face close to his. " I love you Percy, I think I always have."

Luke gentle as a feather kisses a shocked Percy's lips. Blood staining his. "I'll try for reincarnation. Either way I'll see you in Elysium ok."

Percy's eyes go round with fear." No no no no, Luke you have to stay with me ok. Stay with me."

"We're soulmates Percy. We'll find each other again. I promise."

Luke's eyes flutter shut. And they don't open again. The light in Percy's eyes go with him. That's when the screaming, and the shaking of the whole building really starts.

~end flashback~

"You just left him in the room!"

"What did you expect me to do?! He almost killed us!"

Nico says nothing, just gives Annabeth a dark look. Than wordlessly grabs her arm and shadow travels into the room Percy is in. What they find is heartbreaking.

Percy leaning against one wall with a dead Luke in his arms. From how Percy has them positioned. It looks like Luke is just sleeping(if it wasn't for the blood and the paleness of death), with Percy leaning his head against Luke's neck.

Nico does not like the look in Percy's eyes. They look lifeless and numb. As if Percy is not all there.

Nico drops Annabeths arm and the both of them head towards Percy. Kneeling in front of him.

"Percy we need to go. The gods cannot find out you destroyed their throne room,"Annabeth says.

Percy doesn't answer. He just looks ahead at nothing. Holding Luke's dead body gently.

Annabeth goes to touch Percy. That's what finally gets a reaction.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Percy says this quietly, but cold. Sad. Darkness in his voice.

Nico drags Annabeth's hand away. Annabeth still doesn't take the hint. "Percy we need to move!"

"Leave me alone I want to stay with Luke."

Annabeth looks at Nico with wide troubled eyes. "Go stand over there. I'll deal with this," Nico tells Annabeth. She agrees. Which is a surprise, but Nico is grateful. Nico kneels closer to Percy but not touching him.

"Percy, I know you want to stay here with him. But you can't." Nico speaks softly and gently.

"Leave me alone." Percy voice replies dull and lifeless.

"Percy that's not Luke anymore."

Percy at that, holds Luke closer and closes his eyes tight. "Shut. Up."

"Percy the minute he died. Is when he stopped being Luke. His soul is probably in the underworld by now. I know you love him," Nico tears up at this, but pushes down his feelings and continues. He is a son of Hades.

"He probably loves you too. And someone who loves you like that would not want to see you do this to yourself. Because that's not Luke, not anymore"

At that Percy finally looks at Nico. There's a little life in his eyes. "You want to hear something crazy? I was never ment to be the hero in the prophecy. My whole job, was to hand Luke, the real hero. The knife to kill himself himself with." Percy starts laughing at this. With tears coming out of his eyes. One of his hands runs through Luke's hair. "My only job was to kill my soulmate at the right moment. Right before he died he was telling me he loved me. He loves me. And now he's dead from me helping him kill himself!" Percy starts sobbing and laughing. "Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't that the most ridiculous piece of crap you ever heard!" Percy than cries into Luke's neck. Nico starts crying too. He gently takes a hold of Percy's arm to hold him. Percy let's go of Luke(finally) and let's Nico hold him. Crying in his arms. Crying so loud it echos in the room. Nico rocks Percy in his arms saying nothing.

Luke's corpse stays leaning by the walls. Still looking like he's just sleeping.

@dark-emperor-ciska I took a lot from this scene in a show my mom loves called greys anatomy. I'm not a fan. But that scene this is based on hit me really hard. it gave me inspiration. If you want a link to said scene let me know. I hope you like this. I don't think it's any good.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Yours Submissively ~ Consent

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Excess

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

Sunlight creeped across the hardwood from the floor to ceiling windows.  The blackout shades weren’t all the way to the floor, but it allowed the room to remain dark.  Belle felt herself wake and turn over.  She realized that action should have dropped her from her twin bed at home.  She opened her eyes and looked at the unfamiliar nightstand in front of her.  She looked at the soft sheets, dark red.  She sat up slowly, taking in the room.  

Wood tone furniture decorated the room but sparce, just a couple of chairs and a small coffee table in addition to the nightstands.  Belle looked down and saw herself in an unfamiliar shirt.  She was scared to move but managed to look over to the other side of the bed.  It was empty but slept in.  She looked back at the nightstand and saw some tablets and some water.  The pill bottle was next to it, so she knew it was safe to take the medicine.   Her head told her she needed to take whatever it was.  She swallowed and then moved her legs off the bed.  

The cold air hit her legs.  She started to panic.  What happened last night?  She heard the door open, and she pulled her legs back under the covers.  Steve walks in, sweat on his brow and his shirt soaked.  “Good morning.”  

“Uh… morning.”  Belle stared at the man, not sure if it was a good morning or not.  “How… ummm… when… ok, sorry.”  

“Breathe Isabella.”  Steve sat on the edge of the bed in front of her.  

Belle closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  “What happened?” 

“Before or after your drunken phone call?” 

Belle dropped her head into her hands.  “After,” she said behind muffled hands.  

Steve gently pulled her hands away from her face.  “I brought you home after you passed out in my arms.”  

“How did you find me?”  

“It’s easy to track a phone, Isabella.  They have an app for that.”  

“Great. Perfect.” Belle looked around.  “We’re in your bedroom?” 

“Yes.”  

“Did you undress me?” 

“Yes.”  

“Did we… did we do anything?” 

“No Isabella.  I’m not that guy.  I won’t do something without your explicit consent.”  

Belle closed her eyes in relief.  She took another steadying breath. “Why am I here?” 

“I didn’t know where you lived.  Lila told me to take care of you.”  

“Where are my clothes?” 

“Bucky brought you some new ones.”  He gestured to the shopping bag she missed on the chair. “The shower is through there if you like.  I’ll use the guest one.” He walked into another door and came out with some clothes. “You are quiet this morning. Not as lively as last night.  Are you planning on behaving today?” 

“Oh god.” She laid back on the pillow. “What did I do?” 

“I only have bits and pieces Isabella.  You called me, you were inebriated, I found you with a guy kissing you, I pulled him off and then you passed out.  You were entertaining.”  

“Well as long as I was entertaining.” Belle covered her face with the pillow, hoping it would suffocate her.  She felt the material pull away from her.  

“Are you ok?” 

“If you are ok with the ground swallowing me whole, then not yet because it hasn’t happened.”  

Steve chuckled.  “Come.  Get refreshed. I’ll take you to breakfast.” He left the room.  

Belle waited a moment before getting up and grabbing the bag. Jeans, a beautiful top and undergarments were in the bag.  Curiously it was all in her size.  She walked through the door indicated to find a gorgeous bathroom that was bigger than her apartment.  She showered quickly, skipping washing her hair. She pulled it up into a bun and got dressed.  She exited back to the room, where Steve was reading the paper.   “Feel better?” 

“More human, thank you. Have you seen my phone?” 

“It’s charging in the living room.”  Steve stood up and offered his hand.  She took it and he led her to a modern living room.  

Belle took in the room.  It wasn’t what she expected from the good captain.  Sleek furniture, hardwood floors, what looked like an easel in the corner.  She felt comfortable in the room.  She spotted her phone and went to reach for it.  Several missed calls from Lila and Scott.  She sighed and just sent a quick message to Lila. 

B: I’m ok.  

L: How was he? 

B: With what? 

L: You didn’t did you? 

B: Of course not.  

L: But you wanted to? 

B: I got to go.  

“Everything ok?” Steve looked at her inquisitively.  

“Yes, just letting Lila know I’m ok.”  Belle tried not to fidget.  “I am hungry.”  

“Let’s go.  There is a diner around the corner.  We can walk.  Here,” he handed her a pair of sunglasses.  

“Thanks.” She placed the glasses on the top of her head, and they walked to the elevator. The thoughts of doubt swirled in her head.  Steve had rescued her from herself apparently but had made no move on her.  She was awkward, she knew that about herself so it seems logical that Steve wouldn’t find her interesting or attractive.  Before she got lost in this man, she blurted out, “Steve?”  He turned to look at her.  “Am I not good enough?” 

Steve was puzzled by the question. “Sorry?” 

“You haven’t kissed me or made a move, yet you brought me here.  Am I just a charity case?” 

Steve pulled the emergency stop again and turned to face Belle. His anger at her presumption was showing.  He got closer to her, and she backed up into the elevator wall.  He placed his hands on either side of her face.  “Isabella if you were a charity case, I would not have brought you to my home or place you in my bed for that matter.”  He lifted his hand to caress her cheek.  “I’ve been dying to taste that mouth but I didn’t want to without your consent.”  

Belle’s breath hitched at the thought of him kissing her.  “You have it, Steve.”  

“I don’t.  Not until you agree to be mine.”  

“Yours?” 

“In every way, Isabella.”  He looked into her violet eyes, seeing the desire in them.  He leaned in and ghosted her lips. “I’ll explain soon baby.”  He pecked her ever so gently.  He pulled away and Belle was sure she needed to restart her heart.  Steve pulled the emergency stop so they could continue down.  Once at the bottom, he took her hand again and led her to the diner.  

They were quiet on the walk, Belle lost in her thoughts.  He guided them to the back of the diner and asked for two coffees.  “What are you thinking Isabella?” 

“I’m so confused right now.  These thoughts, feelings, words are just so confusing.  I know everything about you and yet….” 

“Yet, you don’t know everything.”  Steve watched as she made her coffee, light and sweet and made a note.  

“No apparently, I don’t.” Belle looked at her coffee.  She was scared to look up into the blazing blue orbs she knew was studying her.  

Steve took a sip of his own coffee.  “You know Isabella, you should really care for yourself better.”  

The change in topic stunned Belle.  “How do you mean?” 

“I’m all for having fun but drinking that much is dangerous.”  

“I wasn’t in danger.”  

“And what do you call the boy who assaulted you?” 

“Scott?  Scott just pushed too far.  I will need to speak to him.  Now that he and I are sober.”  She looked out the window.  That was going to be an uncomfortable conversation.  

“Is he something more to you?”  Steve’s jaw hardens at the thought.  

“No,” Belle finally looked at Steve, taking in his jealous expression.  “He is a friend. I didn’t realize he wanted more.”  

“Hmm,” Steve said taking another sip. “But last night can’t happen again.”  

“What does that mean?” 

“Alcohol negates consent Isabella.”  

“Consent?  Why would I need consent?”  

“Not you getting a consent.  Giving it.”  

“Why would I need to give consent?”  

“Because consent is everything Belle.”  They fell silent for a moment. 

“It’s funny.” Belle’s lips quirked up.  

“What is?” 

“Getting a lecture from someone who can’t get drunk. I read about that somewhere.”  

“Whether or not I can get drunk isn’t the issue.  I want you to be safe and be able to give consent whenever.”  

“Again, why would I need to give consent?  What aren’t you telling me?” 

“I can’t do this here.”  

“Steve, you are confusing me.  Just be plain spoken. I’m still here; you obviously haven’t scared me off.”  

Steve studied her.  Her angelic face, her violet eyes, her hair pulled up, exposing her beautiful neck. Steve decided to explain.  “I want a specific kind of relationship Isabella.  I’m not looking for a romantic type, more of a companion.”  

“Companion?”  

“Someone to attend events with me and attend to my other needs.”  

Belle looked at him curiously.  “Needs?  Like an assistant.”  

Steve chuckled.  “I have plenty of assistants Belle.”  

“I’m glad I’m still amusing.” Belle sipped her coffee again.  

“Let’s finish breakfast and I can show you what I mean.”  Steve ordered for them and they ate in silence.  Once he paid, he took her back to the penthouse.  He took her up the stair and to a plain room.  “If you agree to be mine, this room will be yours.”  

“You want me to live here?” 

“On the weekends, yes.  I’ll give you everything you need.  Clothes, toiletries, books, anything. In exchange, you get me.”  

“For what purpose?” 

Steve pulled her out of the room and to the dining room.  On the glass table sat a stack of paperwork.  “This is a contract.  Details of the relationship I want.  The dos and don’ts if you will.”  

“Contract for a relationship?”  

“It’s important.  It protects you and me from making a mess of our lives.  It outlines what I expect, what I offer.  It also states what you are and are not willing to try.”  

Belle’s head spun.  “I don’t even know what to think or say.  What are you trying to tell me?” 

Steve took her hand.  “Come.” He walked her into another room.  This room was dark, the black furniture, a king size black sleigh bed with stark white sheets.  Belle glanced around the room to see all of the objects on the walls.  She gasped at the whips and canes, chains and ropes.   

“What are you?” she whispered.  

“I like control Isabella.  A long time ago, I was introduced to the world of dominance and submission.  I am a dominate.  I would like you to be my submissive.” Belle started to walk the room, touching what she could, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. Her mind was reeling.  “Talk to me, tell me what you are thinking.”  

“I don’t know what to think.”  

“Is this something you have experience before?” 

“No.”  

“Well, during sex, have you tried anything that excites you?” 

“I couldn’t tell you.” Belle began to blush.  

“We can’t have secrets Isabella. Tell me.”  

“No, I really can’t.  I’ve never…never…”  

“You’re a virgin?” Belle couldn’t speak or look at him.  “Isabella, tell me.”  

“Yes,” she whispered.  

“How… why… Christ, I just…” He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room.  They sat in the living room and Steve dropped his hands in his head.  He didn’t know what to ask first.  Finally, he looked at Belle. “Why?” he asked simply.  

“There was a lot of things that happened since I was a kid.  It wasn’t something I was worried about,” Belle said simply.  

“Tell me.”  

“My adoptive father died when I was sixteen and I was alone.  I was taken in by some friends of his until I was eighteen and then I was in school on scholarship.  Delilah, Peter, MJ, Hope and Scott became my family.”  

“You were adopted?”  Steve was amazed that it didn’t show on the report Bucky had done.  

“Yeah, my parents died in an accident that I survived as a baby.  My dad took me in.  Said he was friends with them.  It was in their will that I be placed with him.” Belle wiped her eyes.  

“So you’ve never had a lover?  A boyfriend?” 

“One, but we were not together long.  He disappeared after I said I wouldn’t leave with him.”  

“And you never?”  She shook her head.  “I would have never shown you if I knew.”  

“And how was I supposed to tell you this?”  Belle grew angry.  “You were so confusing.  You brought me here and I assumed you wanted a relationship with me.”  

“I do, just not a traditional one. But I need to fix this.”  

“Fix what?”  

“Your status.  Come.”  He pulled her from the couch.

Next

Taglist:

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[hottestthingalive]

ok so i know i’ve been dorothy gale-posting late at night recently but for those unaware of the lore I need to explain to you why the wizard of oz series by L Frank Baum is in fact Gay TM and not just because all the characters are friends of dorothy.

so just about everyone knows the plot of the first book. the first book was huge. the first book is incredibly famous. the first book got a monumentally famous movie adaptation and inspired countless works after it including critically acclaimed plays, books, and songs/albums. but while the first book is great and features some fascinating little tidbits about nick chopper/the tin woodman and the scarecrow’s developing ‘friendship’, the second book is where it really starts getting good. because the marvelous land of oz has it all: single teenage fathers. the women of oz deciding to unionize. depressed furniture chimeras. the scarecrow talking about how he and nick chopper are Such Good Friends Such Great Friends and eventually deciding to move in with nick chopper permanently (and notably, the old cover features the two of them sitting across from each other like they’re the main characters, which they super aren’t, but good for them and their old man yuri anyways). Here’s an actual quote from the book about their relationship:

“Thank you,” replied Ozma. “Some day I may accept the invitation. But what is to become of the Scarecrow?”

“I shall return with my friend the Tin Woodman,” said the stuffed one, seriously. “We have decided never to be parted in the future.”

But lastly, and perhaps most famously, my favorite queer plot point from this book: the main character, who for the entire book has been Tip, The Boy, transitioning to become Ozma, The Fairy Queen Of Oz.

It’s slightly more complicated than I’m making it out to be—it’s a whole thing about Mombi having taken Ozma in as a baby and changing her into Tip so she can’t be princess anymore—but notably there’s two bits that really have made people hold up Ozma as a trans icon. The first is how Tip is like “um but I’ve never not been a boy” and Glinda basically says “that sucks. want to be a girl?” and they have a whole talk about it, wherein Tip is understandably nervous and Glinda explains that if he decides to turn into Ozma he can’t really go back (which in the context of the time reads more like an awakening thing a la the Matrix movies than the gender rigidity we might read it as today). and Tip turns to his friends and goes “well. Could be fun. let’s do it” and then takes a magic potion and wakes up as Ozma.

but what really matters to me specifically is the second bit: that when told that she is actually a girl, and when meeting her for the first time as Ozma, her friends are totally fucking chill with it. which is WILD, for a book published in 1904: but they all just basically go “huh! Good for you!” while also acknowledging a thing that I think goes under acknowledged in a lot of queer media: that the self pre and post transition are, in fact, Different. the book shows this in a quick conversation between Tip/Ozma and the rest of the cast, but specifically Jack Pumpkinhead:

“I hope none of you will care less for me than you did before. I’m just the same Tip, you know; only—only—”

“Only you’re different!” said the Pumpkinhead; and everyone thought it was the wisest speech he had ever made.

But the point is that her being different isn’t bad—in fact, it’s quite good, both for Ozma herself and Oz as a whole. She finds that she likes being a girl, that she’s more comfortable in her skin that way, and Oz benefits by having its princess returned and Jinjur ousted. Ozma’s ‘transition’ is never reacted to negatively by anyone but Tip (who is, as stated earlier, incredibly apprehensive and taken aback by the whole thing) or by figures like Jinjur, for political reasons.

This book, like all of the Oz books, of course is not perfect (Baum was likely a feminist, but his writing is full of the casual sexism typical of his time, and he notably said and wrote extraordinarily racist things, especially regarding his editorials on the death of Sitting Bull, the massacre at Wounded Knee, and the Lakota people as a whole), but it establishes a stronger queer undertone to the Oz books that continues through the rest of the series, and into pop culture today. Many modern adaptations play into these themes, such as the excellent, ongoing Yellow Brick Ramble comic by Daisy Finch McGuire (@/gastrophobia here on tumblr), which adapts the story through the lens of Ozma explicitly being a trans girl, as well as perhaps Oz’s most famous adaptation, Wicked, which in the book features a complicated but explicitly queer relationship between Glinda and Elphaba, and in the musical features perhaps one of the most queercoded songs in sapphic history.

Basically, this is a very long post to say that while many people know and acknowledge the relationship of the Wizard of Oz to queer history and art, I think it’s important we also acknowledge the following books in the series as being just as, if not more, queer than the first, and that the merits of fame do not mean that it has more value than what came after it. and also Ozma was a trans icon

[jmdbjk]

Good morning! Pt. 2

I forgot to mention that it started to pour down rain (hence Rainy Day Fight) whenever JK was out there lost in the streets and I’m sure that added to his stress because he didn’t know how to get back to the dorm. Thundering, lightning, who knows... wind maybe... some outside force got upset at JK in that moment. The Universe seemed to step in and pour a bucket of water on a young JK's head to get his attention... it worked.

Continuing...

So he's scrolling through a million cooking videos and then all of a sudden "Lee Mujin Service April Fools Day Special" comes up?

I can't be the only one who is giving that the big ol' side eye... amongst all the food/cooking videos THAT one shows up? Riiiight...

He says he hasn't seen it... riiiiight.... whatever you say Kookie.

Curiously... the translation subtitle says he said "Jimin!" but that's not what he said. I don't know what he said but it wasn't Jimin.

He fast forwards a little and then this:

Hahahahaha! Yep, I bet you've heard enough about Face album to last you a while. That project tied up your Jiminie for most of the past year and had you sitting in your living room-cave drinking beer and eating gobs of fried chicken in front of Netflix all winter long singing to your giant tv and keeping the neighbors awake.

But that doesn't stop Kook from obviously loving Like Crazy...

[we're sorry we're experiencing technical difficulties with the video, please standby]

He couldn't think of Bosa Nova for the genre.

The mimicking was 💀 ... I died. I can see Jimin practicing some mock interviews with him. That seems very much like something Jimin would do. JK loves his Jimin. That's all there is to it.

Then he sang along with Lee Mujin on "Butterfly" and "Traffic Light" where he unleashed some killer ad libs. He proceeded to play air drums.

When he was done with that he scrolled some more and commented there are only cooking shows... I swear ... how did the Lee Mujin show just appear amongst all the cooking shows Kookie?? hmmmmm????

He has watched it before, that's how, it was in his history.

I have to tell you... I will admit, my mind lives in the gutter... please get that stick out from between your legs and ESPECIALLY STOP rubbing the knob at the end of it!!!

You can't tell me he doesn't know what we say on here about him. He lurks in the rabbit hole...I just know it.

Finds this specific thing and then proceeds to sing along with himself... if the neighbors managed to keep sleeping through the drumming on the furniture jam session, they surely woke up when he started to belt out Airplane Pt. 2.

But he couldn't remember the lyrics to Save Me...

When the Best of Me verse came up where he and Jimin do the switchy-switchy back and forth choreo he couldn't help himself... he had to couch dance... and it turned out to be a loop hahahahaha!

Then he belted out Wasurenai by Tanaka. The neighbors probably have given up on sleeping in by now. It's a workday anyway. Get your ass out of bed.

[the toes...] I'm not a foot person but I would give him a foot rub.

That's because you are interrupting your body's involuntary intake and exhalation of oxygen. It is theorized that the brain triggers yawns to keep you alert. I know everyone needed to know that. Don't look at my brain, its scary in there. Moving on...

And then he swapped hats and launched into a 5 minute impression of G-Dragon... I don't know anything about G-Dragon except he was in BigBang with Taeyang. I did see him arriving at Incheon one time and he was wearing the shortest shorts I've ever seen a man wear in public these days. They were like booty shorts... He did not make eye contact with anyone, as if he wished he was somewhere else. Came across as a typical western rapper... full of attitude and not gratitude. That's my impression of who G-Dragon is. Anyway. This:

Paint me clueless because I have no idea what just happened.

Ok, let me take a step away for a second and speak about something: Jungkook just parodied G-Dragon. He was mimicking Jimin earlier... ALL IN FUN. The theory is, when you mimic others, you subconsciously create a bond with those individuals. If you dislike someone, your subconscious will dampen any desire to do that. Psychology is fascinating isn't it?

I've seen some trying to weaponize these instances during this live. Jungkook mimics and copies because these are people he enjoys, not people he hates. There is not a malicious bone in JK's body. Just a lot of bones and cartilages that sound like bubble wrap being stepped on when he cracks them. Again moving on...

He stopped on Kurzgesagt, a Youtube channel that creates animated videos on a variety of topics that are informational and enlightening. Kookie loves the aesthetics of the channel.

He spends the next 10 minutes searching for something to watch while his brain tries to wind down and tell him its time to sleep. He subconsciously starts humming Like Crazy again and then finds a Jay Park song. I am thinking a collab is coming even though most of us could do without Jay Park. Obviously, Jungkook has a thing for him so I will remain open minded about any song should one be released. JK's vocals will elevate it to the stratosphere regardless.

I remember the pushback when we learned about Jimin's collab with Taeyang. And it turned out to be a great song and speaking for myself, I found Taeyang to be a decent and likable human. Why I ever doubted the kind of person Jimin would admire, I have no idea.

Displaying his prowess of composing songs on the spot:

The entire live was classic Jungkook. He will talk about almost anything and share a wide-ranging amount of TMI. Even now, he shows us how open he is about so much. He covered so many random things but mostly talked about his three favorite things: working out/body care, cooking and Jimin.

And Jimin and Jungkook...they are still the same as they've always been, always and forever since the rainy day fight up until now.

He finally decided to "rest a bit" before heading out and bid us farewell.

Apobangpo Kookie! I hope we get to see you soon again!

More thoughts as I sit here thinking about Jungkook and Jimin through the years... it shouldn't be taken lightly how much influence Jimin has had on Jungkook. And to think of their dynamic over the years, watching the way they look at each other and speak to each other has evolved. It is rare to be able to observe such a thing happen between two people in real life. The way they both light up when they see the other's presence... lately we've seen it during these lives... they both beam with joy at each other... it's an amazing thing.

(FYI: My gifs and video prevented this post from showing up on the tumblr feed so there are screenshots for now.)

[nut-in-me-jojo]

Always Will Be - Chp.9

Pairing: Yan!Gyutaro x Fem!Reader Chapter: 9 Series Warnings: NSFW, extreme depictions of death, extreme violence, dead dove don’t eat, forced relationship, yandere, non/dubious consent, kidnapping, degradation, slut shaming, stockholm syndrome, poverty, dacryphilia, misogyny, dumbification, (If you don’t like dark yandere’s this story isn’t for you.) Word Count: 2.9K Summary: Gyutaro has lived for over a century now, still plagued by memories of the past and haunted by its ghost. You are one of his only two regrets.

IMPORTANT CHAPTER NOTES:

I’m letting y’all know rn that there is an implied sex scene between minors (Yuna and Gyutaro) However, I decided to make this a “fade to black” situation, meaning there is nothing graphic regarding that scene. This scene is here because as the author, I find this event to be critical in conveying the nature of the relationship Yuna and Gyutaro had with one another to my readers. You have all been warned so I don’t want to hear SHIT about it.

Chapter Song:

Now, please enjoy✨

You knew this room to be unknown, yet familiar all the same. There was little to no light, only the soft gleam of the moon that crept inside through an open window, casting shadows across the shoebox of a room and the small pieces of furniture it held. There weren’t many, but you noticed how very dated they looked to be.

Someone sat crouched before you, the darkness obscuring their face from view, but the moonlight had just enough give to illuminate the outline of their wavy tresses and their messy topknot.

You didn’t need more to know exactly who it was. Startled by the intrusion, you instinctively wanted to cry out. But no sound came.

You wanted to ask your frightening regular of a customer what he was doing here in—what you suddenly considered to be—your room at this hour. What he wanted. If he was going to hurt you again. But none of those words slipped from your mouth.

Your lips felt sealed tight all this time despite your wishes. But they moved on their own as you whispered out in a hushed tone.

“You shouldn’t be here Gyu-Chan.”

“No, you shouldn’t be here.” Came your customers crackled whisper.

“You need to go, we’ll be in so much trouble if we’re caught.” You tried again.

“We won’t be if we’re not caught.”

You let out a huff, reluctantly accepting that he would not be leaving as you had advised.

“Are you doing alright?” He asked pensively.

“Yeah…I’m ok. It’s just like that bastard said, baths, a bed, and plenty to eat.” You replied solemnly.

“Have they made you…”

“No, not yet. But soon they will…they’ve already been talking about sending me to the harimise…to the highest bidder.”

The top-knotted figure shifted in his seat.

“This is all my fault, Yuna..” his scratchy voice lowed, “if I hadn’t been so fucking weak you’d still be-“

He was cut off as your lips slotted against his in one of the most loving kisses you’d ever bestowed in your life. Worlds different from any kiss you’d shared with customers.

“Shhh,” you hushed him as you withdrew, “you know it couldn’t be helped. And I’d do it again a hundred times over to save your life. I’m going to work hard here. I’m going to work so hard that Ume will never have to come to this place. I’ll get us enough money and we’ll leave and never come back just like we promised.” You assured him gently.

His lips pursed tightly. He knew you were putting on a strong face for him. He saw how you cried that day, how terrified you had been about almost being taken. How you started making Ume hold your hand anywhere she went. All those nights you’d sleep holding him tighter than usual. This place was Yuna’s idea of hell on Earth.

With each word you spoke, every name he had ever been called etched themselves deeper.

Worm. Dim-wit. Sad sack. Coward. Good-for-nothing.

All these names and then some combined weren’t enough to label something like him. Why couldn’t those men have killed him that day before she showed up. Had he just died then, there was a chance that those thugs would have given up their chase. Sure, she and Ume might have been upset. But he knew Yuna would take care of her for him. They would have been better off. If he had just died maybe she wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t have this cross to bear. To know that he was why.

“My life isn’t worth yours…it’s not-“ a stifled sob leaving him as his guilt overwhelmed him and his composure dissolved despite your words. “I’m not worth your purity Yuna, I’m fucking worthless I’m not deserving of such sacrifice, I’m not-“

Your lips cut his off once more before they trailed to string kisses along each birthmark on his face. He was silent with the exception of a few sniffles as he let you kiss him how you pleased. “You are worth my purity, Gyu-Chan.” You cooed sweetly into his ear.

He shuddered under your hot breath, it took him a few seconds to realize what you had meant. He only stared off as you kept kissing his marks over. “You…don’t mean that.” He whispered out.

“Gyu-Chan please, I don’t want my first time to be with someone I don’t know.” Now it was your turn to cry as your voice threatened to crack. “I want it to be with someone I love. I want to have a choice in at least just this one thing…so please, will you be my first?”

Gyutaro sat back on his haunches, dumbstruck by what you were implying. In one way, there’s nothing he could’ve possibly wanted more in this world. In another, the very thought made him want to crawl out of his own skin.

Someone like you should never be tainted by something like him. The only reason you’re asking him is because of a simple shit-hand you’d been given in life. Had you been born in a normal life with a good family, you’d never even look at him. And you’d certainly never willingly lose your virginity to him. This isn’t real, none of this could be-

You’d been sitting there studying his expression and you knew he was gearing to retreat, so you grabbed ahold of his boney and calloused hands that you had come to love so dearly. “Please Gyu-Chan, my heart couldn’t take it if you say no.”

“This…isn’t right.” He muttered out.

Tears welled in your eyes once again as he was already making quick work of breaking your heart. “How is it not right? It couldn’t possibly be more perfect.” You warbled. “I-I promise no one else has ever touched me I-“

“I don’t care about that. I just shouldn’t touch you is all.”

Your brows knit as you grew more determined. “Gyu-Chan you are the only one I’ve loved since the day we met. I asked to be your friend because I wanted to. And now I ask you to be my first because I want you to be.”

Gyutaro merely sat in place, his gaze shifting from your breaking one to his lap, downcast and unconvinced.

All his life, he had lived by a saying. To take before you are taken from. He had put it upon himself to teach Ume as well as Yuna this. He felt this phrase, this teaching, would keep them safe. It was all he had known, it’s what the world itself had conditioned him to believe.

But yet, Gyutaro felt it vile for the likes of him to take something so precious from Yuna. He’d never been in this position before, never had to take from her before. Because despite his best efforts, Yuna had never quite grasped his philosophy. The way she ever so faithfully shared all she had with him and his sister proved it. Her food was their food. Their tears were her tears. Her love was their love.

She gave all she could no matter how little it may have been. And it wasn’t until now that Gyutaro realized he didn’t live up to his own motto either, because he had always done the same for her.

He had always wanted many things in this life. But was always mercilessly denied them. Deep down the one thing he wanted above all else was to love and be loved. Something he felt he could never understand no matter how much he desired it because it would never authentically be his.

Yuna may not realize it, but he did, she didn’t mean what she was asking. She didn’t want him. How could she? How could anyone? It felt unfair to deny her of her request, what right did he have to tell her no when her situation was his own fault?

Ever such an opportunist, it went against Gyutaro’s nature to not take advantage. He felt any scraps that came his way were the least this world could do for him and he would take without a second thought.

But not her.

Ripping his hands from yours, he briskly made way to the window he’d snuck in through. You didn’t know what you were doing. He couldn’t rectify your fate here. He couldn’t go back and keep you from having ever met him and change any of this. All he could do now was keep you from making an even further mistake on him.

He was always quick on his feet. But you had always been neck to neck with him. He froze as your firm grip clasped the back of his obi.

“Gyutaro…”

A shiver ran down his spine as his full name left your lips, a rarity to say the least.

“You can go if you really want to…but first I want you to ask yourself, when have I ever asked anything from you?”

He was silent, though his arm remained outstretched to his exit.

“More importantly, when have I ever lied to you?”

Gyutaro’s muscles finally laxed slightly as he was forced to reflect.

“I know what you’re thinking. You think I’m too stupid, too naive to make my own choices. That I don’t know what I’m saying. Am I right or am I right?”

His unyielding silence being broken by your half-hearted chuckles. “I know, I know you so well huh?”

“Yuna-“ He tried to interject.

“What hurts is that I thought you would know me well enough by now to know that if I’d ask something of you, I must know…but you doubt me because you doubt yourself so much. That’s not fair to me.”

His hand finally dropped from the windowsill to his side as you circled around to face him. “What more do I have to do to prove that I love you, Gyu-Chan?”

He swallowed thickly as your gaze held his. “You…really love me?” His voice nearly inaudible.

Raising to your tiptoes to meet his towering height, your lips meshed with his. His arms instinctively wrapping around you to seize everything he’d ever wanted, as if it would slip away just as soon as it had appeared.

Nose to nose, you withdrew to answer him properly. “When have I ever lied to you?” You repeated.

This time, you were met by no resistance as you guided him back to your bed.

It was starting to dawn on Gyutaro that maybe he’d had his desire the entire time. That maybe this wasn’t by chance, but in fact he was chosen. Whether it was only wishful thinking or not he didn’t care. For the first time, all the hate and doubt in his heart parted just enough for him to believe right now. That for once, it was fortunes turn.

“I promise…you’re the only person I want to touch me.” You vowed, guiding one of his hands to rest atop your thigh. “I think we deserve to have what we want…just once.”

Gyutaro felt as if she had read his mind. She must have. For things to make so much sense in this moment. For his love for her to eclipse his hate for himself. For his twisted gangly body to feel so destined against her sublime curves on this quiet night that they both could almost believe was anywhere but here.

~

Your eyes shot open as you sat straight up in bed. You were in your room again. Your real room.

You sat there dumbly as you stared out into your room, almost as if it was expected to provide you some sort of explanation. But you had only woken with far more questions than answers.

But as your breathing and heart rate steadied themselves, the real answer became clear. It was just a dream.

Thoughts overflowing as you scour your psyche for any answer as to why you would dream of this man you feared so much. Had it been just a flatout nightmare, it would’ve made more sense than…

Your cheeks burned hot with shame as you thought over what you had asked of him in your dream.

God, you were sick.

You knew you were by how deep inside, you wished that’s how things could’ve been for you.

Your dream hadn’t been just a dream nor a nightmare, but rather a dirty disgusting fantasy your subconscious had chose to torture you with.

You knew what was happening here and you couldn’t stomach it. You were growing fond of your customer.

You knew it by how you suddenly found yourself praying to any god that would listen to bring him back to you. And how you pleaded to them, telling them that “soon” wouldn’t be soon enough in your eyes.

What had changed? What had happened to you? Since when does sucking a man off ever do this to you?

Having decided you had wasted enough time by now, you got up and folded away your bed. You had chores to do around the house before it was time to get to real work for the night.

But as you carried on with your day, not once did he leave your thoughts. As you polished floors, prepped vegetables for lunch, and scrubbed dishes; he lingered in the back of your mind. No matter where you went, you couldn’t shake the feeling of his gaze on you. At any moment, you felt that the second you’d blink he’d be at your side with that same mystifying speed of his, glowering down at you like always.

All day your mind asked the same things. Anxiety would come in the form of, “Will he come tonight? What if I upset him again? Will he hurt me?”

But a thought that somehow felt even worse came, what if he didn’t show up tonight? Not just tonight, but ever again. Where would that leave you? Back at square one, forced to entertain any and all men that were willing to pay up no matter how old or disgusting they may be.

Why were you this pathetic? So lowly that you’d think this new sir of yours was such a better alternative to any other patron. This man had insulted you, threatened you, choked you, and had practically forced himself down your throat. It wasn’t just his words and actions that scared you so much, there was something about his presence alone that just reeked of danger. You had felt it from that first night you saw him in the harimise. He frightened you more than anyone ever had. So why?

As you carried on with your chores, you were too busy toiling away with your thoughts that you didn’t even notice all the whispers behind your back or the way everyone kept out of your path. Everyone else had heard of what was to come for you tonight. Except for you of course.

You were met by your reflection as you got ready for the night. Splotches of violet littered your neck that hurt just as bad as they looked. The knowledge that you had walked around like this all day burned at your ears. Perhaps if you weren’t so sick in the head, these bruises would serve as a bitter reminder of him. But with his pollution of your mind, they were just another present of his, a weighty necklace of rubies and amethyst he had left you. A sound mind would have called it for what it was. A collar.

About now you’d normally do your best to paint over them, but he’d made it very clear that he did not like the make-up. And he’d made it even more clear about the repercussions of doing something he didn’t like. You wondered briefly if you should abandon ship with the lipstick before your thoughts jumped to something else.

The perfume.

God forbid what would happen should you fail again to put on that perfume he generously gifted you. You clamored to grab it out of your drawers, best to put it on now lest you forget.

As the perfume set into your skin and clothes you let out a heavy sigh, one less thing to upset him was crossed off the list.

You checked yourself over and over again to ensure you hadn’t forgotten anything—or worse—done something you shouldn’t have when a detail of your dream suddenly came into focus.

Gyutaro

That was what you had called him.

Surely, that couldn’t really be his name right? It was hardly a name and more like a title.

Debt-collector

If it truly was his name, you wondered if he was some symbol of your karma. Perhaps you had done something so horrible that he was now here to collect from you. Whatever sin you could have committed for such punishment, you had no idea.

Without much thought, you watched as you uttered the name to your reflection. It formed easily on your tongue yet the name felt to be a curse just as much as a prayer.

You’d whispered it with both hope and dread that it would somehow summon him.

The emptiness that rushed you as he failed to manifest before your eyes was nauseating.

With nothing left to do, you were just about to force yourself to put on your nicer “work” kimono when the screech of your paper door slamming across in its tracks cut through the room like a knife. Your stomach flipped in both fear and a twisted sense of glee as you assumed it to be him. But as you whipped your head around, you were met by the sight of something you’d come to understand very soon was something far worse.

I TOLD y’all I hadn’t lost interest in writing this🥳

I’m sooooooooooooo sorry for how long it took me to write this, but I had a whole lot of life happen to me within this (almost) year it’s taken me to post lol.

One cool thing that happened in my absence is that I met the one and only Brandon McInnis. He’s a real nice guy, I told him I had to get his autograph since I write for Gyutaro and told him about this fic and he laughed and told me he’d check it out. I almost really hope he doesn’t😅 could you imagine? He’d be like “that girl was sweet but god damn she is FERAL” lmaooooooo I have his autograph posted on my tumblr if you wanna see! He had his artwork for his Gyutaro autographs custom made by an artist, he said he told them to make him “disturbingly attractive” and they really delivered I tell ya hwat lmfao

Anyway, I’m so very glad to be back!

[firespirited]

Ladies, gentlemen and enbans,

Meet my beautiful new second hand cane!

I've been procrastinating about buying one for a while with various foldable or footed ones in wishlists and today... there it was. and while I can't use it much due to the shoulder pain, it's already helped me stand in place longer than possible without it.

Sis saw a Facebook post about an indoor garage sale for today, within my walking abilities *but* up the hill (we live on one side of a three side "bowl" of foothills so technically everything is pretty much up or down but this hill is like 12 degree incline in parts)

I said I'd consider this adventure if we could do a trial run. So we made the trek with the dogs. Lily remembered that she could run, a huge yellow lab gave her a massive rock she was carrying in her mouth, there were acorns everywhere and a nice lil bridge at sitting height for us to stop and rest.

So today, we set out in the rain, minus dogs, to the unknown just a house with stuff for sale : would it be stuff left from a move, a death, just decluttering, expensive fancy stuff, kids stuff?

We arrived early (turns out dogs sniffing around takes up an extra ten minutes) and watched as half a dozen cars pulled up, which is wild. People are never early round here! guess the antiquing folks like to be there as soon as the doors open.

Two middle aged ladies ushered us all into their yard and then into the teeny tiny house to three rooms divided by a staircase, none of it seemed to follow geometry. Two daughters selling their mother's various collections to make space: mugs, books, vinyls, paintings, cat sculptures, silverware and lots of fabric findings. She had been a seamstress. There were tins filled with buttons, I would have bought some but knew I had to carry it home.

One seemed a little panicked after running around setting things down in the yard so I helped with a frame and asked how she was doing with all this and we chit chatted for a while. From what I understand at least one of the daughters is living there on a higher floor, the cats don't need rehoming and one had to be forcibly removed from a comfy nest in the fabric stash just before everyone arrived. 😁 They're doing ok but the clutter was overwhelming and they hoped some of it might sell and be taken away, simply, without third parties or listings. Quite a few of the furniture pieces got claims within the 45 minutes we were there so I think they'll be fine.

I saw the cane in a set of three at the entry to the yard within 20 seconds and I knew it was the one, it carried me through the rest of the visit in any case. Didn't ask about other medical equipment (Medical buyback doesn't give you much and buying from the medical shops is expensive so it's advantageous to all parties. I got my wheelchair for double the buyback from a dude who didn't need it anymore and it was less than a third of the price). But I get the impression she was fairly able bodied with maybe a little help walking only.

There was no sewing machine in sight so either it's gone to the daughters or it was sold for a lot more than today's low priced bits and bobs. I was kinda hoping I might get to witness an antique Singer in the footpedal desk or the square looking 70s Singer in the case when I heard the word seamstress - granny used to have both when I was little.

Clothes, shoes and grooming items were all missing too. The ladies might not be at the point where they feel ready for that yet. Maybe they needed the clutter 'space' to be able to do a more personal sort out.

So quite the adventure. I didn't get the "shop overload" because the lights and sound were normal, items were in boxes with the price per item or to ask (understood to be under 10€) no confusing pricing between washing liquids per wash, per litre, per kilo and special offer (aka what's the catch). It was cramped but no people megastress either so that was manageable.

I did start thinking about what we leave behind on the way home. Did chat a little with sis about our most prized treasures and how they're imbued with value that no one else would know about by just looking at them. We both felt a little gloomy over that so switched to talking about the types of person we'd seen.

[trash-monkey]

Isekai; The world of Tenby

Chapter 3

Numbness spreads down my legs as the sand that seep into my boots are causing them to be heavier then they should be but I continue to force myself to go on as the house is so close now and when I come up to the front doors I throw myself into them making them break off their hinges as the wood is all dried up and brittle, I pant as I fall to the sand covered floor knowing I'll regret it later as the sand is sticking to my sweat filled shirt but for now I'm grateful for the much needed rest. The slight coldness the comes with shade and shadows fall over me feels amazing against my slow burning skin, once I'm not feeling cooked inside out I climb to my feet with a little bit of a struggle since the muscles in my legs are quickly becoming sore but I push through it to find a look around the place.

Like many of the other buildings this too is falling apart with age and that there's barely anything left except for rotting wooden furniture but this quickly changed when I went into the basement to see it has been turned in a small library with the wall covered with shelves of books, immediately I walked over to the desk when seeing it only to find a journal left opened and although the language looks strange I can read it perfectly.

'My dear boy Scaramouche,

I am terribly sorry for my absence just after your creation but this city it doomed and has been from the start as this land is too cruel for anyone to live, it seems to be cursed. Sadly I'm writing this too late as I just have enough strength to write this short letter since I used the rest to fix you from your accident but I'm too weak now to put your heart in, Scaramouche even as your creator I love you and just remember nothing or anyone isn't perfect as I didn't make you perfect not because I didn't want to but because I don't have the ability to do so.

~Citor Jez

P.S If this isn't my dear Scaramouche please as for my dying wish put my dear Scara's heart back in, you have all you need in the laboratory where I left all my instructions and journals.'

"Scara?" I mumbled to myself after reading the letter in complete disbelief that I'll meet someone this early in my journey as Naaji didn't specify on which worlds that would be combined for this world so with Scara here this tells me that Genshin Impact is one of the worlds, I don't know which characters I'll meet from the game.

"Ok, Scara is a puppet in the game but it seems here that he's a robot?" I mumbled to myself again confused on what he is in this world but I just shake my head to throw the thought out as I need to focus on finding water instead so I leave the desk alone.

"Laboratory means water!" I gasped at the thought making my eyes widen and look around wildly before running back to the desk to look for information on how to get into the laboratory.

"Key!!!" I yelled as I hold up a old styled key into the air which I had find in one of the desk drawers but now to find the key hole which I have a feeling it's in one of these bookshelves that's lining the walls of the basement making me sigh but I got to work, I moved books aside to knock onto the back of the shelves to find where it's hollow. Finally after checking six shelves I found where it's hollow behind the bookshelves so I remove the books and carefully sit them stacked on the floor before feeling around on the wood looking for the key hole, I look around and feel around wildly desperate for water knowing I can survive three days without water but today is the second.

"Where is it." I hissed to myself as my patience is wearing thin fast and with a suddenly bust of anger but instead of punching the shelf I take a deep breath to calm myself before looking around the bookshelf again.

"ouch!" I hissed when hitting my head into the shelf when looking closer at the bookshelf which the shelf slab falls off it's placing and hits the floor, now with a bump on my head I give a sigh only to see a key hole staring at me in the face when I looked up where the shelf slab was sitting at which was hiding the key hole so with excitement I slam the key into the hole and give a sigh when it turned easily. The bookshelf swings in with a crack of age as a thick layer of sand and dust falls to the ground allowing me to see that the laboratory is like the ones movies and shows have that are covered in thick dust and spiderwebs while having science stuff lays abandon on tables but I ignore all this for running to the pump I see I'm the back, cranking the pump is hard with the metal all rusty and although I got it down but I can't get it back up without oiling the joints so I turn to look around the Laboratory for any.

It seems I have already used my luck points as I didn't find any lay around the Laboratory so I decided to force it and used my whole weight, with a loud screech the pump handle goes down so now I go into the bench press position to get it back up and by the time I hear something coming through the pips my muscles feel so sore. At first a puff of sand comes before dirty water leaks and with a gurgling sound clean water shots out which I immediately dive into the floor to greedily drink what fills my mouth but the water stops quickly as I'm not pumping, with my thirst somewhat satisfied I got up and slick my wet hair back before finally actually taking everything of the Laboratory in and finally noticing the white sheet covering something on one of the many tables. Pulling it off to see a motionless figure laying there on the table with nicely cut indigo hair and a sleeping face that is spotless of any blemishes that comes with being a living organism, my eyes travel down the short frame only to see the pale chest opened to expose that what makes him tick is missing.

Scara looks exactly like his game counterpart except for his chest is reminding me what the letter had said about it, with a hum to myself I look around the Laboratory again for a bucket which I used the white sheet to clean what sand that didn't come out when turning it over and being to fill it with water as I don't know how much this pump had which I drink my fill without making myself sick.

I opened random books and what seems to be worn down journals until I see a diagram of a mechanical heart which I immediately begin to read as it shows how to place Scara's heart in, there's two pipes in his chest that the heart need to be connected and locked in to before placing special pen in the side of the heart to get it going.

"Now, where did he put your heart?" I said to myself with a sigh after placing the journal down onto the dusty table and searching around again but this time for his heart.

"Where the hell is it!" I hissed as I still haven't found it a few minutes later and my eyes glanced over the only painting in the laboratory when glancing over the room which my eyes immediately go back to after a idea popped in my head, I marched over to inspect the wall behind the painting which I smirked when finding a small safe but it quickly falls after remembering I don't have the code for it or ever seen a code since being here.

"Well, fuck me." I whispered to myself with a disappointed sigh when trying to open the door hoping the scientist left the door unlocked but it wasn't, I take the painting off the wall completely which I leaned against the wall before going back to the piles of books and journals I have created on one of the dusty lab tables. I flip through them once again but find nothing until I looked through the journal I had set aside that has Scara's heart manual in it which I found the code three pages after it so I swiftly returned to the safe and put code in, I almost missed it as it's spelled out instead in numbers if it wasn't for the dash in the twenty-six.

"Shit!" I yelled as I fall to the ground after having to pull on the safe door to get it open which I even have to use the stone wall for leverage and when the door finally moved it breaks off it's rusted hinges causing me be thrown but I quickly got back up onto my feet, sitting on a red cloth is the mechanical heart and pen.

_______________________________________________

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 32: Spilling the Tea. In which Katsu receives an unanticipated gift and is followed by a mystery ninja.

Shingen x OC; Kenshin x MC (Mai)

Previous Chapter: Here

Logline - Disguised as a boy, Katsuko finds herself working for Shingen, but her dangerous masquerade becomes difficult to sustain when she falls for the man with a fatal secret.

Unlike the other times I had visited Chiyome’s household, instead of being taken to her official reception room, I was shown into what must have been her private quarters. The décor was austere: she took the concept of minimalism to new levels – almost no furniture, no personal items, no tapestries or decorative screens and … no clothing. She was lounging on her futon with a young man. Neither were dressed.

Why am I always walking in on naked people?

Chiyome patted the man-boy’s cheek. “Leave us.” With a pout, he picked up a silk kimono, carelessly slung it over shoulder, and basically flounced out of the room.

“Don’t gape, child. I’m sure that was no more than you must have seen working for Shingen.” She stretched, then slowly and theatrically dressed in a pair of European style breeches and a shirt.

The performance was aimed toward me, possibly to shock, possibly out of her own sense of personal amusement, and I did my best to keep an impassive expression. I wasn’t shocked. Mostly I was annoyed that she chose to make me her captive audience. “I wasn’t embarrassed… only, he seems a bit… lightweight for you.”

“Child, I’m not concerned with what’s between his ears as long as he knows what to do with what’s between his legs.” She gestured for me to sit down. I sat. “Given what I do every day, that last thing I want to do in my free time is talk. Or think. I just want a straightforward fuck.”

Ok then, and more power to her. That didn’t explain why I’d been invited to her private rooms. At least, I hoped it didn’t. Was she warning me off Shingen? Did she even have that sort of relationship with him? I imagined coming up with all sorts of clever and impressive things to say to her. Unfortunately, what came out of my mouth was, “why am I here?”

Ugh, Katsuko can you at least try for some semblance of wit?

“For tea, of course.” She gave me a look that clearly said, ‘you’re an idiot,’ and I suppose I was, because it had never occurred to me that she would want to take tea with me.

Nor did I want to have tea with her, as the thought of trying to make conversation with her over the course of a tea ceremony filled me with dread. I was feeling awkward and gauche enough already. “You want to have tea with me?”

There was mockery in her laughter. “No. I am giving you tea.” There was a movement outside the room, and then, likely by some pre-arranged signal, a woman my age glided in. Hm. Glided was not the right word. She moved as silently as a ninja, but there was a restlessness about her that suggested she was holding back on a stockpile of energy that could explode from her at any moment. Chiyome addressed the newcomer. “Sute, this is Katsuko. Please get her a supply of tea.”

Until that moment, I had no idea that Chiyome knew my name. Which meant that Shingen had probably mentioned it to her… had this meeting been his idea? If so, it would have been nice to have been warned yesterday. Or maybe he had intended to mention it last night when I came back ‘after dark.’ As promised, I had returned to say goodnight, but he’d already been asleep, and I’d left without trying to wake him up.

Sute’s eyes skimmed me over with amused interest. “The girl from the Inn. So, he finally found you. You’ll definitely need tea.” She turned back to Chiyome. “How much?”

With a wave that indicated she didn’t really care, Chiyome said, “use your own judgement. I’m well aware you have experience with this particular matter.” It felt like they were having a conversation around and over me. Obviously, I was a joke to them, but it was difficult to understand what exactly about me was the joke.

The woman went to a cupboard, withdrew a large tin, and poured most of its contents onto a square of paper, which she then neatly folded into a packet. “Here.”

I automatically took the packet and sniffed it. Yes, it smelled like tea, although, I caught the scent of… carrots? Wild carrot tea?

“Don’t look so worried.” Sute laughed. “It’s actually rather tasty – we all drink it.” She gave Chiyome a look. “She must think it’s poison.”

“No, I don’t.” Although I would feel better if I could witness them drinking some of it too. “If it were a fast-acting poison, you wouldn’t have given me such a lot of it. It would be a waste of poison. And there are more efficient ways to kill me than a slow poison. I imagine that a signal from you would have Sute slitting my throat with the dagger she has in her sleeve.” Despite my bravado though, I intended to double check with Shingen before I drank this stuff. If Chiyome had any intention of killing me, I figured he’d have picked up on it.

“Hm.” Chiyome finally displayed a spark of interest in me. She withdrew one of those obnoxious cigars from a red lacquered box and lit it from the flame in a lamp. “It seems you might have a brain after all.”

“Does this mean you and I won’t be getting naked?” Shouldn’t have said that. But I was tired of her treating me like I was a child.

That got a laugh out of her. “Drink one cup every day, unless you’re having your monthly courses.”

Oh.

Sengoku era birth control.

“Unless you want babies. I always said I’d like a few around to play with but Chiyome-,” Sute paused and gave the older woman a mischievous look, “said that I would get bored and forget to feed them.”

I looked down at the packet of tea. I hadn’t thought. I should have. I suppose this also meant that Sute’s ‘experience with this particular matter’ implied a prior (hopefully prior) relationship with Shingen.

Sute continued to babble into my silence. “You don’t want a baby, do you?”

“Oh. God no. Not now.” My life was far too complicated to bring a child into it. I could just see the expression on Aki’s (and Fume’s) face if I showed up on their doorstep with a child in tow. Not to mention… temporal paradox? I wouldn’t want to give birth to my own grandmother. Or would the timeline naturally prevent that somehow? Maybe it wasn’t possible for a time traveler to get pregnant (or father a child) when they were out of their own era? Even if it were though… given my mother’s history of depression, having a child of my own had never been on my personal bucket list.

This, however, was a theoretical discussion that I ought to have with Sasuke – if, I could manage to do so without hideously embarrassing the both of us.

“You may go.” Chiyome waved me toward the door.

“Er, thank you.” Truthfully, I wasn’t sure whose benefit the tea was for – mine or Shingen’s - but I was grateful to have it. Even if… given his current health, there wasn’t any urgent need for it.

I bowed and left, with Sute at my heels. As we made our way out of Chiyome’s manor, she chattered away as if she’d decided we were to best friends. And… maybe I ought to dislike her… but I didn’t. She was like a golden retriever, too friendly to dislike. “Why were you hiding? How did he finally find you? Did you actually work for Mitsuhide? What’s he like?” Even once we were on the road toward the main part of town, Sute stuck with me.

Absently, I answered her questions. My attention, however, was not on her, but on a hooded figure who was following us. I couldn’t get a good look at him – he was good at slipping into the crowd whenever I stopped to look his way.

“Do you know we’re being followed?” I interrupted Sute’s fit of giggles – the revelation that I had been living under Shingen’s nose for weeks was highly amusing to her.

“The ninja? Yep, He’s good, but I’m better.” She made an adjustment to her clothing, pulled a hood up over her hair, and palmed one of her daggers. “I’ll take care of him if you want to go back to the castle. I haven’t had a good chase in a while.”

Without waiting for my agreement, she whirled and took off. Ok, not a golden retriever – a greyhound. When our pursuer realized she’d turned the tables, he ducked into an alley. In moments, I saw him, then Sute, scurry up the side of a building.

I could have done that too! But it was too late – they were already zipping across the roofs.

Feeling left out of the fun, I headed back to the castle. The whole day seemed like it was conspiring to make me as insignificant and useless as possible. Was it true that the only possible use I could be to Shingen was as a bedmate? He’d treated both ‘Angel’ and Katsu as if they had more intelligence and agency than he treated me as Katsuko.

Could I be something more than that? As Katsu, I had been investigating the assassination attempts and learned from Susumu of Yoshiaki’s involvement. As Katsuko – I hadn’t done much – yet. I stopped in the middle of the street, to the displeasure of the merchant who had been walking behind me. What was stopping me from picking up that investigation? If I wanted to be something more, I would have to make that happen for myself.

I about faced (annoying that merchant even further) and headed for Susumu’s restaurant.

The restaurant was in its post-breakfast lull, although a few patrons were lingering over the tea and hot soup Susumu always kept ready for travelers.

“What may I get you, miss?” Susumu didn’t recognize me. Another day I might have left it at that, but I had spent too much time cultivating him as a source to want to begin again. I pulled my hair away from my face. “It’s me. Katsuhira.”

To his credit, his surprise only lasted a moment before he smiled. “Good morning, Katsuhira. I see it has been an eventful couple of weeks for you.”

I acknowledged this with a wink. “Lord Kenshin came a bit too close with Himetsuru Ichimonji, and this,” I gestured to my feminine appearance, “is the result.”

Susumu laughed so hard at the joke I was afraid he would herniate himself. Then, more quietly, he said, “I’m happy to see you today.” He lowered his voice. “The men in the corner –  I’ve not seen them before, but they were meeting with another of Imagawa’s vassals today. The vassal passed the taller one a message.” I sneaked a quick look over my shoulder. Two men, non-descript, dressed as in travelling clothes. Neither were overly armed, aside from the swords anyone would carry for defensive purposes. Susumu then returned to his normal speaking volume. “Yes, the fish soup is fresh and hot today. If you’ll take a seat, I’ll bring some out right away.”

Joy. More. Soup.

I gave Susumu a quick smile, then casually took a seat directly behind the men in question, hoping they were the careless sort and I would be lucky enough to overhear something worthwhile.

I … was not that lucky.

Maybe only TV detectives are able learn important information while eavesdropping? All I heard was a bunch of slurping and a brief comment about wanting to get on the road before it got much later. While I listened to the nothing useful, I considered my options. Following them would be a waste of time. They weren’t planning to meet anyone else; they were simply leaving town. Nor could I join their table and subtly question them myself. In this era a woman couldn’t simply sit down and join a table of strange men without being thought a prostitute. Anyway, I didn’t want to talk to them – I wanted to get my hands on the message from the Imagawa vassal.

For a quick moment, I reconsidered the prostitute angle. Obviously, it was a ploy that Shingen and Chiyome’s spies employed on occasion – otherwise there would be no use for the tea that as Sute said, ‘we all drink.’ If I pretended to be a prostitute, maybe I could leave with them, and steal the message somehow? But how?

No… I discarded that idea. Too many variables, and I had no idea how good these two were in a fight.

I might be a daredevil, but I’m not stupid.

However, I needed to come up with a plan fast because it sounded like they were nearly finished. Maybe I wasn’t stupid, but I still felt like a failure for missing out on this opportunity. In my head, I heard Chiyome’s mocking laughter, while I stared into my nearly empty teacup. Dammit, that information was less than a meter away from me, right for the taking.

What would Aki do in this situation? His most-used ploy was to play a drunk to get close to his mark, then surprise them when their guard was down. While that wouldn’t work here, it occurred to me that… I didn’t need to pretend to be drunk… just clumsy.

I took my teapot up to Susumu and asked for more. Mentally, I apologized in advance for what I was about to do to his crockery. He replaced my pot with a new full one, and then I paused, waiting for the men to stand up in preparation to leave and then put myself on a trajectory that would -

WHAM!

SPLOOSH!

CRASH!

“Oh no! I am so sorry! I hope you were not burned!” While the man was still sputtering angrily, I dabbed at his clothes with a hand towel. Under the pretext of drying him off, I lifted the message and his coin purse (if I were caught, it would be safer to be thought a thief than a spy. Probably.)

Susumu did his part, adding distraction as he barreled over and yelled about the broken teapot and the wet floor. He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the kitchen, complaining all the while about the existence of clumsy maids. Pitching his voice loud and shrill (too shrill… my ears were ringing) he monologued about the woes of owning a restaurant where every odd traveler did nothing but spill food and break his dishes, culminating with a capper, “I should have become a stableman! At least horses are useful!”

(That… didn’t actually make sense, but I supposed he was going for volume over content).

He took a quick peek into the dining area. “They are gone, Katsu.”

“Thank you. I never knew you had hidden talent as an actor. Sorry about the teapot.” I tossed him the stolen coin purse. “I hope there’s enough in there to pay for a replacement.”

He rifled through it. “More than enough. I could build a new restaurant.” He thrust the purse in his kimono.

“In that case, may I buy, or rent one of your kimonos?” As much as I loved the one I was wearing, Mai’s handiwork was pretty distinctive. I’d be better off slinking out of here in a plainer outfit.

He agreed to load me a spare kimono he wore when he was gutting fish. “The smell alone ought to keep people away – though you may end up leading a parade of cats.” He let me change clothes in his storeroom and when I left through his back door, he was recounting the coins from the stolen purse.

I walked through the alley in my most casual I-don’t-have-a-stolen-message-tucked-into-my-kimono manner. It ought to have been simple to simply stroll my fish-scented self back to the castle.

It would have worked.

Except… there he was again - the ninja who had been following me earlier. He seemed to have managed to evade Sute, and whoever he was, he was not fooled by my new outfit. As soon as he saw me, he ran right at me.

No idea what he wanted, but the chance of it being something good was low to zero. I didn’t stick around to find out.

Before he got any closer, I led him on a chase through crowds…

…weaving around people,

…jumping over barrels,

…before rolling under a fruit vendor’s stall.

I dove into a passing a hay cart and held my breath while his feet pounded past.

A few minutes later, when I was sure he wasn’t coming back, I climbed out of the cart and emerged in the innyard…

Where I ran right into the two men from the restaurant.

Well. Hell.

Keeping my head down, I muttered a fast, “pardon me,” and turned to take off again.

The man whose purse I had stolen grabbed my wrist. “Not so fast, little thief.” He yanked me to him and held me tight against his body. “I think you have something of mine.”

It was the middle of the day, and we were in the castle town, so I wasn’t afraid that they would carry me off, but I didn’t want to be in this fight I either. “I have no idea what you are talking about. Let me go!”

“I think not.” His grip on me tightened. “Not until you return my… things.”

“You must have me confused with someone else. I work at Kasugayama. I’m no thief.” The implied relation to Kenshin ought to have given them a pause, but since they didn’t let me pass, I lashed out with my fists and feet.

One of them grunted when I got him in the stomach, but I took a hit almost in my eye, so we’d call that even, I guess. I managed to free up one of my daggers – just in time, because the one who hadn’t grabbed me came at me with his sword.

I slashed the arm of the grabby one – he swore and let me go.

The one with the sword charged toward me, and I deflected with the dagger. The other one drew his own sword, and I found myself outflanked.

I wasn’t worried yet… I still had my patented best move ready, the never-fail, ‘duck out of the way and run like hell’ maneuver.

And that was when the man who had been following me reappeared.

Great.

“Oh, this looks like fun,” he practically chirped. “Can I play too?” He pulled out a pair of daggers and…

…launched himself at my attackers in a flurry of metal.

He was helping me?

By this time, the innkeeper had come out to see what was going on, and the two men must have decided that was too much attention to attract in what was likely enemy territory for them. They grabbed their horses and fled.

I turned to my follower/rescuer. “Thank you for the help.”

“Just evening the odds.” He pushed off his hood and turned to me with a cheerful grin on his face. “Katsuko, don’t you remember me? I do consider myself extremely memorable.”

My brain slowly de-aged this long-haired ninja, replacing him with the memory of a chatterbox young monk I had met nearly five years ago. He’d changed a lot. But the smile was still there. “Ranmaru? But… why were you chasing me?”

Another smile, then he bowed deeply. I wondered how and why he had made the transformation from monk to ninja but this wasn’t the time or place to discuss such matters.

“I didn’t know it was you! Not at first.” Ranmaru withdrew a thin packet from his sash. “I have a message from my former master to Shingen. I thought to leave it with Lady Chiyome, then you were pointed out as his personal courier.”

“Former master? Then you no longer work for Kennyo?” Given the list of crimes Kennyo had committed against both Nobunaga and Kenshin, it was understandable that Ranmaru might want to distance himself from the man.

“There is not much I can do for a man condemned to live out the remainder of his life in an Azuchi dungeon.” Ranmaru’s smile faded. “It’s complicated as I am Nobunaga’s page.” He handed me the letter.

“I hope Kennyo doesn’t want Shingen to intercede with Nobunaga.” I couldn’t imagine that going over well.

Ranmaru shook his head. “Nothing like that. The two of them were friends at one time. I believe Kennyo wishes to apologize … and to say farewell, before…”

Before it’s too late.

Had word of Shingen’s condition travelled to Azuchi? Or maybe Kennyo had another reason to say goodbye. “Thank you. I will make sure he gets it. And thank you again for your help back there. I doubt I would have gotten through unscathed otherwise.”

Given Shingen’s lectures to me on my so-called daredevil behavior, it would probably be a good idea to keep today’s adventures from him.

No need to worry him when he was still sick.

Or well, worry him about this at all.

No, I wouldn’t mention any of this – I’d just have to come up with a good story about how I’d gotten my hands on the message from the Imagawa vassal.

Ranmaru preened before giving up and laughing. “It was fun. But you’re not completely uninjured.” He reached out and touched my cheek, and I winced at the unexpected pressure. “You’re going to have quite the black eye.”

@bestbryn

[mr-independent]

EP 7 the Keeley is Hot Shit episode (1st of many tbh)

-- Bi Keeley from the start I'm serious. She absolutely comes onto Rebecca a million times in this episode and plays it off like a joke every time

-- there's gotta be a story behind that very pointed reminder about missing furniture. Has someone written that? Someone needs to write that

-- it takes them 2 whole years to get to that promised pillow fight, but we do get there. Patience pays, my friends.

-- god i forgot that A. Sassy's name is Flo and B. She's a child psychologist. The fact that she doesn't set off Ted's early hatred towards therapists says to me either he doesn't know or it's only people who try to shrink him that bother him which. Given the full story of his couples counselor is 100% valid actually

-- we are clearly shown how Roy catches Isaac making sure that one player is present and participating during movie night, and i don't think Roy's retirement is for another few episodes at least. Us getting to see that moment is par for the course but us seeing Roy seeing it? I'm convinced more and more that these writers absolutely intended for people to rewatch this series over and over and i love them for it

-- Michelle is being really pushy actually about the divorce papers. He got them like 4 hours ago, he's currently working, in a different time zone, and travelling with the team in a hotel right now. She's really fucking pushing for this, and. And! Having her lawyer text him at midnight as well! (which. That would be the response of someone who doesn't want to get found out. Like of she were having an affair with her therapist the whole time and if Ted found out she might very well lose custody of Henry. So. Ted and Rebecca are gonna have A Lot to talk about Very Soon in the new series bc they're both gonna be jilted exes of immoral cheaters.)

-- ok yes I'm a tedependent truther but. The evidence for Ted/Rebecca is piling up too. Either that or they're literary foils which honestly is about the same for fic writers anyways lmao

-- man Ted getting mad is so fucking jarring, o can see why he made up the Led Tasso character bc that man really needs to process his emotions better holy hell

-- the theme of this episode being repressed anger (Ted's and Roy's especially, but also Rebecca's) is such a good theme that you'd never find in another sports comedy and like. Do any of the writers need a sugar baby? I'm just saying I'm single at the moment and half in love with all of them.

-- Sam jumping up immediately to take Rebecca's coat before she goes on for karaoke....

-- Ted having a panic attack to Let It Go bc he bottles up everything and never lets anyone see how he really feels and he's so fucking sad and angry and lonely and he can't let it go bc everyone relies on him being honest and happy and strong and ....relatable

-- there's a lot of psych studies coming out now saying that adults in this age are never taught how to properly process their emotions because we always shut them down before it's fully out of our system bc that's how we were taught, to wipe away the tears and keep moving, and i gotta say that's exactly how Ted acts here. He's not allowing himself to actually confront the reality of how he feels and so it just keeps building and building and. Well. We saw how that played out.

-- Roy is nowhere near my type but honestly that was so fucking hot of him. Waiting all tall dark and mysterious under the red lighting, snogging the hell out of Keeley without saying a word, then fucking off to god knows where.....yeah i agree with Keeley that shit would get me hooked, too

[flockofdoves]

i think its important to retain compassion and make sure when i actually talk to her i am open to listening to whatever she has to say. obviously thats important even just on purely a level of wanting communication to go well and for her to be receptive to solutions. but also of course there needs to be space kept for me and my gf to vent our frustration on our own time bc just bc pretty much almost everyone can always have some sort of personal justification for why they did something within their constricted circumstances obviously that doesn't mean people hurt by that dont still have reasons to be upset or resent the situation. and i'm trying to be good and healthy in how i balance these two things. 

i'm not always the best at conversations i can be a bit conflict avoidant and i have given up on talking about any of this for a while after my last half assed attempts at communication about this stuff failed (even if i think to be fair to myself some of it very clearly goes beyond what i'd imagine the scope of any misalignment of expectations from past experiences in different living situations could cause. like sure ok maybe you've used other peoples dishes in the past but i cant imagine it takes communication (which i did w this actually!) to know that if you've then let those dishes mold for a month throwing out that persons dishes after they ask you to wash them after they see them outside is not an acceptable next step) but i’m really trying to expend the effort to be better at communicating

but every time i’ve tried she avoids it somehow. and i keep trying harder in more direct but still not aggressive ways and i’m sure theres still more i could do but its just so so frustrating having it continue on this way. 

i feel like theres no space for me to even healthily balance my frustration with not letting that boil into any actual opportunity to talk because its just like a constant situation of having to hope that she’ll actually not avoid things this time and i need to emotionally prep myself for conversation so that i won’t unproductively just come across as angry (or just like. so shaky i cant talk lol) and because i’m just like fucking constantly having to put myself in that state theres not even a healthy space to even be properly mad during me and my gfs time when shes not around

i’m just so so so sick of this i’m so constantly stressed and sad about all of this this is the worst roommate situation i’ve ever been in even when just like. in fun conversations before she was avoiding us and that i still overhear w her friends i really enjoy my roommate. like thats really saying something when i’ve had a homophobic passive aggressive roommate before and a roommate that always turned the thermostat up to 90 degrees!!! but this is still (even after her wayyyy lowballing the utility bills “at their worst” looking back lmao) like the cheapest place i’ve seen around here with this fucking housing crisis happening around my college and at this point itd literally be too late to find anything good for when this lease ends i don’t know what to fucking do i was panicking about housing this time last year and it felt like it might fall through at like any moment once we did secure this apartment last august and then like so soon after that everything started to gradually get more and more stressful as more things happened with our roommate so its been like a fucking year of housing stress about stuff but we didn’t even start early bc it cost so much to furnish this place so our room wasnt just so deeply stressful to live in with the amount of unpacked boxes for months that we only just finally had all the furniture and storage to actually put away that we kept being like well i’m sure if we just communicate better it can improve because we really want to keep living here and dont want to go through All That with apartment applications and moving again any time soon but also jesus christ what if it just doesnt fucking change im in fucking limbo

[tbh-entp]

beware small rant below the cut

moving somewhere totally alone with like no family or friends nearby is legitimately really difficult, especially as a single woman. i’ve been here for months and have been trying to make some friends (not just to help, but because friends are nice), and these guys going to the meetups are all trying to find girlfriends. 

I wouldn’t be against a community center program to help people move in, just volunteering for building furniture and carrying stuff. Like, I would definitely sign up to help others **especially women (I might even start this myself once i’m settled). i do not want to owe anyone anything for some help carrying a table upstairs. I mentioned that I needed some help building furniture during my first month when I was still sleeping on the floor, and three times (three times!) I got comments like, i’ll help you build your bed, and it’s perfect, you’re single! There was also a woman who was trying to set me up with her son in exchange for him building my furniture, and I know that some of this is jokes but I seriously needed help and it 100% felt like pimping myself out. 

one guy, he was hosting events and i was meeting a lot of people through him, and then he got drunk, and texted me about how sexy he found me. i told him i was only looking for friends, which he seemed to accept ok, but then he started touching me: my face, my waist-- and also made comments about being into me while i was standing there and it was so uncomfortable so I distanced myself from him (and the people in his group) (ONE OF WHOM, was a man, 30 years older than me who ALSO came onto me and also sad some really objectifying and sexist things and that was really what did it)

and then last night, i desperately needed help moving something, broke down and texted a friend who i thought was ok, we brought it in and then he also came onto me and its just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i get it, shoot your shot, but this demographic of single men in there 30s is really negatively affecting my whole feeling safe in a new town thing. (Also, I’m ‘exotic’ in this country and much more so in this town so I get more crap from men, but I’m really over having friends nearby who I trust and having no help. I’ve never had this problem to this degree before). 

OK. Rant over. 

[sohmiya]

I am suddenly invested! I want to know your oc’s ideal proposal & wedding plans, & if you think they’d have kids in the future <3

this was such a brain workout because i didn’t think this far ahead LMAO but ok !! here are some of them <3

quinn (open heart): i’m gonna be honest. i don’t have a clear vision of what her wedding with bryce was like except for the fact that it was a beach wedding and bryce wore a light pink suit….🚶🏻‍♀️ but !! for the proposal, he was so cheesy he did the whole pretending to tie his shoelace before taking out the ring LMFAO as for their twins, their son kinda resembles quinn while their daughter looks a bit more like bryce. despite their hectic work, bryce and quinn always make time for their kids. even when they’re tired, they’ll always find a way to bond with them. like if bryce needs a massage, he lets the twins take turns walking on his back (while constantly reminding them to not jump when they get too excited lmao) or if quinn is wearing a face mask and the kids are being nosy, she’ll poke some holes into a paper towel and dampen it before putting it on their face. they just wanna be present in any way that they can <3

cece (novaturient): reese would say “let’s get married” or something that sounds spontaneous and cece would joke “be more romantic” and when she least expects it, reese surprises her with a whole proposal setup—fairy lights, candles, petals on the floor, all that with reese playing the piano and when he’s done, he goes “i hope that’s romantic enough” then he’ll go down on one knee and propose again <3 i can imagine them pulling a joe jonas and sophie turner. like they would fly to vegas where it all started hehehehe and do the elvis wedding then they’ll plan an actual wedding 🥰 i think they’d want kids. aside from the baby fever reese gave cece lol, reese played “ballade pour adeline” for his newborn nibling (in my hc) and i can totally see him doing the same for his kid 🥹 and i just know cece lowkey hopes their child gets reese’s dimple HSHSHSJ and they’ll probably give them the nickname “peanut” :((((

maya (golden): i honestly think maya would elope with phoenix if he asked 😭 it doesn’t matter how he proposes because the answer is always gonna be “yes”. she’d leave everything behind for him even though he would most definitely NOT let her do that sjdjskdks but i just know phoenix would use his magic—moving sketches of what looks like a random wedding (maybe it’s his dream wedding idk 🫢) and it would end with “will you marry me?” in his handwriting 💘😩 and maya would be sooo down to bring everything in those sketches to life as long as it’s a private wedding with close family and friends. the last thing she needs is the media doing a coverage of the most important day of her life. she’d also 🥺 her way into getting kaidan to sing at the reception lmao as for kids, she’s kinda iffy since she was neglected by her parents. she’s afraid she might unintentionally treat her child the same way because it’s the only parental love she knew but i don’t think she’d be completely against it

parker (midnight hours): the proposal would be simple but still intimate i think. parker and rylan would be doing something normal like cooking together or building a furniture set or something and rylan would be overcome with love he’d blurt out “marry me” that for a second parker would think he’s joking but when she realizes he’s not, she’d say yes. rylan’s ring that fit parker’s finger perfectly would be the temporary engagement ring “until i can get you a new one” hehehehe 🥰 for some reason, i can’t come up with details for what their wedding would be like but it would definitely be a small wedding and the gang would 100% be there. and even if i can imagine them being good with kids, i just can’t imagine them having kids 😭 i do think they’d be the coolest uncle and aunt

sutton (midnight hours): i don’t think sutton ever gave proposals as much thought as the wedding lol this is roughly how i imagine her pinterest board to look like. and despite the stress that comes with wedding planning, she would want to be a part of it. idk but if she and kian were to get married they’d probably be “plans everything gf & pays for everything bf” 😭 and sutton wants to have kids. a huge part of it comes from her nurturing and loving nature. idk how to explain it but she’s just one of those people who dream of becoming a mother. she also wants to be a cat mom to a brown british shorthair with orange eyes that she will name “terry” after terry’s chocolate orange.