#like okay. conflicts happen and they are inevitable

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

ok sorry i'm just. ????

rant and spoilers ahead because i gotta yell into the void a little

first of and most of all. WHY does it sound like Solas front and center of everthing now??? Including both Inky's and Rook's stories/motivations???? Like okay i understand that Solas will inevitably be important in Rook's story and that's chill! We knew he was gonna play a part in this story! But why do they make it sound like half or Rook's purpose is just there to further Solas's story/character

and it quickly becomes clear that Rook will have their own unique relationship with Solas, as the Inquisitor did before them. I think what's been fun for us, too, is trying to build Rook as kind of almost a mirror of Solas.

Epler also acknowledges that the Inquisitor “obviously has a very personal relationship with Solas,” one that will need to be reckoned with in The Veilguard.

“And I'd say the Inquisitor, to some degree, feels guilty or responsible for what Solas is doing to the world. So while we're not going to get too far into details about what role they may play, they absolutely are somebody who is going to be interested and invested in the outcome of Rook's journey in The Veilguard.”

Why. are you telling us how our Inquisitor is supposed to feel about this?? When you play DAI you agree to play The Inquisitor, yes, but you don't agree to play someone who Cares About Solas. Like. Yes. I get that he is important. That much has been clear since Trespasser. And i'm ok with that! But how come you say "this is a game about Thedas and a world in conflict" and then also talk like this story is About Solas, Actually.

The other thing i absolutely do not get and do not like. At All

Those decisions are: who your Inquisitor romanced (with the options gender- and lineage-locked in the same way that they were in Inquisition), whether or not you disbanded the Inquisition, and whether you vowed to stop Solas or save him.

?????

No "who drank from the WoS"? No "who is Divine"? No "does OGB Kieran exist"? No "is Hawke alive" (Varric is there. SURELY he cares about this a lot)? No "what happened to the Mages & Templars"? No "were Wardens banned from the south"? Arent't those uh. Really Relevant Decisions???? WHY is one of the whole grand three (3) decisions that carry over if Inky wants to save Solas or not. I mean ok i guess i get it cus that was The Big Decision TM at the end of Trespasser but again. Why is that the big thing that matters. out of all the things that SHOULD matter.

There's not as many decisions you have made up to this point that have an impact on what's happening in Northern Thedas.

But it’s also part of the advantage of moving the setting up to Northern Thedas, Epler says, with the prior games in the series taking place in Southern Thedas, a significantly different region both geographically and sociopolitically.

Uh. Yeah they do. See above points and also some that i forgot probably. Northern and Southern Thedas don't operate independently from one another that's not how this works. Especially again with things like the WoS or the Divine decision. Also half our companions from the other games are from the north?? Like yes ok i know get what you mean kinda and it's true to an extent but not like this

for one, the team focused on choices that they felt they could react to meaningfully – not just a cameo or one-liner.

“There's never a sense of, ‘Oh, that decision doesn't exist.’ But maybe we don't touch on it in this particular title,”

The. Cameos and one-liners are what make it special though?? You can't say "We want those stories to be personal." and then say you're not making any of those small decisions matter. And i don't mean matter as in having A Big Impact TM but i know that a lot of us LIVE for those small tiny nods to previous decisions that make the world feel actually alive and connected. I understand that we can't have full on-screen cameos or questlines or whatever for every little tidbit but not even. idk. Background convos about what's going on in Orzammar? Gossip about Ferelden's monarch? A line from Varric about Bartrand? Dunno man. Again not to mention the Big Things like Kieran. or the Well of Sorrows consequences. Or the Divine (which. yknow. is directly relevant everywhere except maybe Tevinter??). Those were always the things that made importing a worldstate so charming! because you could see the small little impacts that you have on the world. The tiny things like the line about the pigeons in Ferelden in DA2 or a wartable mission with Wade and Herren in DAI are so so special to me

[dykedarmand]

i have a headache and cant sleep so im like overthinking some moments from college and like. i am so torn on if i am genuinely not a great person or if other people are just crazy

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.

but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]

like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.

and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']

another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]

tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want

[maxtermind]

baby, would i still be your lover?

★ : summary :: when he accidentally insults you during an argument ★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris ★ : genre :: angst ★ : word count :: 2.9k ★ : a/n :: as much as i love making the crack texts, i'm just an angst addict 😔

Max Verstappen

Everyone, people who weren’t even in Max’s close proximity, knew that he was impulsive and a little reckless. With you, on the contrary, Max was usually a think first, act later kind of a lover. That wasn’t to say that when arguments happened, they were a pretty sight to look at.

It was a single thing that you said which suddenly turned into a huge blown out argument, leaving your head throbbing as Max continued to vent his frustrations about unrelated issues.

"You're so hot-headed, you can't even have a normal conversation without blowing up."

"Attacking me now, are you?" Max retorted, his tone defensive.

He was quick to bite back and the ball in your throat made it scratch-y to talk. You were sure that your eyes were welling up with tears but he was too far away to see it.

"I'm just stating the truth.” You started after taking a shuddering breath. “Every time we talk, it turns into a fight because you can't control your temper."

"Well, maybe if you didn't push all my buttons, we wouldn't be here."

He was talking in the same decibel at least and for a second you had hope that everything would be better. Then his words registered and the hope vanished as well.

"I'm not the one who flies off the handle at the slightest provocation!"

You had to stop and take another breath, otherwise, you were going to start crying and this conversation was inevitably going to get left in between because Max wasn’t an asshole who was okay with his girlfriend crying just because he was angry.

"You know what? I'm sick of your constant criticism."

"And I'm sick of walking on eggshells around you!"

He took a moment to say the next thing. The silence indicating that he was thinking it over first. Max's next words hung in the air, heavy with implication.

"Fine, maybe we should just call it quits then."

The suggestion hit you like a punch to the gut. Was this really that easy for him? He just ripped your heart out and splashed it on the ground. Your chest hurt so much and he was just sitting there? Was he not at all affected by the way you looked close to crying now?

"Fine. Enjoy being single and available," you retorted, your voice trembling with suppressed emotion.

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes looking over at you, indicating how he didn’t really think that you guys were breaking up. Though in your head, this was the last time you were ever going to look into his eyes again.

"You're too sensitive, always getting upset over nothing."

You were already on the edge, not having even processed that you guys almost- probably did break up over you trying to talk something out with him.

“Us breaking up is nothing to you?”

The weight of his words crashed over you, the tears finally spilling down your cheeks. Max's expression softened, regret flashing in his eyes, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and the fragile bond between you felt irreparably shattered.

Lewis Hamilton

How can one tell if they really are in a good relationship? Is it the security and sense of peace? Is it the frequent love confessions? Honestly, the explanation might differ person to person but one thing you always believed that made a relationship was being level headed even during arguments when emotions were running high

Needless to say, you were very glad you found solace in Lewis. A person who was prone to recognizing the impact of his words. Arguments between you two were rare, and when they did occur, Lewis prioritized finding solutions rather than escalating the conflict. His ability to remain level-headed during disagreements was a cornerstone of your relationship.

Everyone has those days though, when acting out of character seems more suitable than the usual. Moments when emotions override reason.

You were more worked up than usual. Your insides were burning with this desire to get answers because your boyfriend wasn’t there with you on the day you needed him the most.

You drove back home from your conference, dismayed despite it being a very successful session, given that your proposal got accepted as soon as you were done. You just wished your chocolate eyed man was sitting in the crowd looking at you with his signature proud smile.

After a shower, you sat on your couch to watch some show and just move on from the bittersweet day. It was an hour later, when your boyfriend showed up with a bouquet in his hand. Lewis walked over to you and leaned down to kiss your head.

“Congratulations, love," he greeted, oblivious to the storm brewing within you. “Saw it on the news, sorry I couldn’t join you. Got caught up with work.”

Usually, you would have avoided the argument till you felt like you could understand his side too. That was one of the things that helped you guys the most. You both waited to discuss stuff till you knew you were calm and ready to get what the other was saying.

“Aren’t you too busy with work lately?”

He gave a humorous huff in return, not catching on.

“You know how it is once the season starts.”

“You literally got home last night and you had to go in again early in the morning?”

“Missed me?”

He had a playful grin on his face and it killed you to spoil the good mood.

"Of course, after all you're more committed to your cars than you are to me."

The words left your mouth and you were too far gone to be caring about it at this point. Lewis has been such a passionate lover so this sudden shift was hurting you.

“What was that?” he responded, his tone sharp with surprise.

However, you were done and already up to call in early but his words stopped you on our track.

“Wow. You're so insecure, it's exhausting trying to boost your ego all the time."

Tears immediately welled up in your eyes but you didn’t turn around and with a deflated sigh, walked into your bedroom before locking the door while Lewis stood frozen in his place, not believing his own words.

It was like he was in a stance and all he could do was listen to you cry through the closed door on a day when you guys were supposed to be celebrating each other’s wins.

Carlos Sainz

Carlos was the perfect man. His mature yet easy going demeanor was exactly what you needed in a partner. You hadn't been together for that long to be at the altar but just enough to know that you were going to last.

You understood the demands on Carlos's time, with his career in the spotlight of the racing world when you decided to say yes to a date with him. Carlos was left with very less time away from all the glam, media and the track. Making it precious because of how rare it was.

You mostly accompanied him and let him drag you around to wherever he wanted once he had the break. So imagine your surprise when the only time you made some pretty important plans and he refused to tag alone.

"I can’t believe you’re saying no to this," you protested, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

“I’m not saying no to anything, Carina.” He kissed your knuckles to un-knot the strong fist you’ve made of them. “I’m just suggesting we do it some other time.”

"But this is the third time, Carlos!" You stood up, unable to contain your hurt and disappointment. “Sorry if meeting my parents is such a chore for you.”

“You’re putting words in my mouth now.” Carlos responded with a sigh, attempting to pull you into a hug, which you reluctantly accepted. “It's not about it being a chore. You know I'd do anything for you, Y/N."

"I do know that, but actions speak louder than words, Carlos. My family is important to me."

“I promise that I want to meet them. I do. It's just… the timing."

"I don't want promises, Carlos. I want actions. If you can't even make it to meet my parents, what does that say about our future?" You insisted with a heavy heart, putting distance between you two.

"You're blowing this out of proportion, Y/N." Carlos countered, frustration evident in his voice.

"Out of proportion? I just wanted you to meet my family, and you can't even do that!"

“Well, I don’t have time to waste on this! If you want to go, just go alone!” His words hung in the air, a sharp pang of hurt piercing through you.

You immediately took a step back and saw him do the same. Both of you standing there as the silence stretched, contemplating in silence what exactly the next course of action was going to be.

“Y/N, I…” He trailed off as you glared at your foot, trying to hold the tears in before one eventually slipped and fell down your cheek.

“Baby, no! Don’t cry!” He panicked about extending his hand, about to touch you but you flinched away and shook your head.

“Carlos, if you think I’ll just ignore what you said ten seconds ago then you’re very wrong.” You whispered, your voice thick and husky.

Guess you were the only one from you both expecting this relationship to last. A second later, you were clutching your bag in your hand and walking towards the exit, speaking up before Carlos could beg you once again to ‘sit and talk it out.’

“Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice barely a whisper. “Thanks for letting me know that our time together was time wasted for you.”

You walked out with his heart in your pocket, your own splashed on the floor of your apartment.

Charles Leclerc

Charles was the love of your life, the very time you saw him smile at you from across the room igniting a spark in you that shaped your future together.

He walked over to you with a pretty girl hanging onto his arm, leaving the impression that they were more than friends. Everyone around you was also convinced at the time that they were dating but Charles bluntly flirting with proved just how different the real life scenario was.

Pippa was just his ‘best friend,’ someone who throws side eyes at you every time you and your boyfriend are in close proximity to her. Despite nearly a year together, her hostility persisted, the woman was a different kind of vicious. Hell bent on draining your energy.

It was physically exhausting being around her with her catty sarcastic tone that Charles always failed to notice. It was just another one of those days and Charles dismissed your concerns as usual, leaving you frustrated.

This time it was pissing you off greatly.

"Doesn't she realize we're together?" You rolled your eyes.

Charles remained silent and that drew your brows together.

“Charles, does she not think we’re serious?”

“I don't think so. She's always been oblivious to these things.”

And honestly? That fucking hurt. It hurt to know that Charles noticed this but was still rather quick to defend her every time.

"But we've been together almost a year?”

"Baby, she just never pays attention.” His arm pulled you closer to his chest. “Or maybe she doesn't want to see it."

"Do you think she has feelings for you?”

There it was, the truth out in the open. As much as it made you want to die to say it out loud and acknowledge it, your body felt lighter while the comforting arm around your waist began to feel heavier.

"I don't know. Maybe?” Charles’ chest heaved with a deep sigh, "It's complicated?"

The heart beating in your chest stopped for a long second because of how unconcerned your boyfriend seemed right now. Was he seriously just going to accept that a person he has shared so much history with wants to steal him from you?

“It’s not that simple, darling. she's been a friend for years.”

“Yeah, well, friends don't act like that. She’s just what? Waiting for the right moment to swoop in and steal you away from me?”

Charles did not like it because the arm was moved away from you in a second and he was sitting a bit straighter now. He looked furious and ready to defend his best friend and all that was running through your head was how he would probably not do the same for you in front of her.

"That's enough, Y/N. You're being paranoid."

"Paranoid? Or realistic? Face it, Charles, you're so blind when it comes to her. It makes me feel so small compared to her!"

Charles, frustrated and defensive, ran a hand through his hair and shot back,"Don't flatter yourself thinking Pippa gives a damn about you or me."

Lando Norris

No one could deny the magnetic pull Lando had on everyone around him. It was, after all, what drew you to him in the first place. You had your biases but he broke through them all with his shameless at worst and awkward at best flirting.

However, as you stood in a quiet corner to hide from the crowd, you couldn’t find it in yourself to sympathize with Lando. He had brought you to this glamorous social event, flashes of camera and expensive drinks overflowing all around you.

You were extremely excited to accompany your boyfriend especially since he had such an amazing season but throughout the evening, Lando was constantly pulled away by enthusiastic fans and demanding media, leaving you aside feeling like an accessory rather than his partner.

Standing in a quiet corner, you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy as you watched other couples bask in each other's company. You didn’t even know where Lando was at this very second.

Then, suddenly, his arms enveloped you from behind, his lips pressing gently against your head. "I'm sorry, babe. Everyone here just wants a piece of me," he murmured, attempting to console you.

You sighed and tried to calm yourself so you wouldn't explode in front of everyone, "I understand, but I miss spending time with you."

"I promise, I'll make it up to you tonight." Lando winked, keeping the conversation light.

That was all he said before someone from your left approached him again and your safety haven spot under the stairs was crowded with journalists a second later. You rolled your eyes before walking away, with half a mind to grab a cab and leave.

It was on your way back home when your patience finally ran its course as you listened to your boyfriend go on and on about how much of a success the event was.

“Why did you even take me with you?” You interrupted, your tone tinged with hurt and watched as the smile on his face got replaced with a frown.

“What?”

“I mean… you barely clicked two pictures with me and then left me to fetch for myself? You didn’t even come stand with me for more than a minute?”

"Babe, I'm sorry, but this is part of the job."

"I get it, but it doesn't make it easier.” You felt your own body shudder because of how overwhelmed you felt. “You were there talking to everyone but me!”

Lando opened his mouth to say something but you weren’t done yet.

“They were all strangers to me and you didn’t even acknowledge this! I was standing there alone the whole time, watching others and wondering why my boyfriend wasn’t there for me!”

The weight of your words hung heavily in the air, and for a moment, there was silence. You stopped to take a breath and not start crying. Then, Lando spoke, his words struck like a knife to the heart.

“This isn’t… This isn’t about you. Why are you always making it about you?”

Your body froze after that and your mind went blank. You didn’t care that the tears were running out of your eyes or that apologies were falling from his mouth. His own eyes were welling up because he knew.

He knew what he said was unacceptable.

You were so zoned out that as soon as the car stopped, you got out of the car. Thankful to catch the glimpse of yellow among the traffic before you hailed a taxi, the distance between you and Lando growing with each passing moment.

He attempted to hold your arm, his own tears falling down his face. You just wanted to put your point across but with his reaction, you were certain you guys were done for.

“I guess I expected a little too much from you, Lando.”

With a heavy heart, you walked away, knowing that sometimes love wasn't enough to mend the fractures in a relationship.

( writing masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

[anniebeemine]

Vanilla- s.r. x fem!reader

warnings: big ego AND jealous spencer, spanking, unprotected sex, oral (femrecieving), cumplay

It started out as just another gathering with the team—a casual night out after a long case, everyone laughing and unwinding at a local bar. You sat beside Spencer, enjoying the rare opportunity to relax with him and his colleagues. The conversation was light and fun, bouncing from one topic to another, until it inevitably drifted into teasing against you and Spencer. It started out like usual, some quips about when he'd pop the question or when you'll pop out a few mini geniuses. Then it shifted into a few weeks ago when you came into work with a top that was lower cut than usual, shifting to show a deep purple love bite sometime during lunch with the girls.

Spencer flushed a deep red, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as the table burst into laughter. "Uh, well," he stammered, "that was… an unfortunate coincidence."

You shot him a sideways glance, raising an eyebrow. "Unfortunate? That was all you, Doctor Reid." You leaned into him playfully.

Penelope gasped in exaggerated shock, placing a hand over her heart. "Spencer Reid, you little devil! I never would have guessed you had it in you!"

Derek clapped Spencer on the back, nearly knocking him forward with the force of it. "Man, you’re full of surprises! Didn’t think you had it in you to leave a trail. Reid, you’re probably the most wholesome guy I know."

Emily, never one to pass up on a good-natured ribbing, smirked. “Yeah, I bet your idea of a wild night is reading a book until midnight.”

The table erupted in laughter, and Spencer, always a good sport, chuckled along. But you could see a flicker of something in his eyes—something that made your heart twist a little. You reached under the table, squeezing his hand gently, offering silent reassurance. He glanced at you, and the warmth of your touch seemed to ease some of the discomfort, his shoulders relaxing just a bit.

“You know, Reid’s probably the kind of guy who apologizes during sex,” Morgan added, his tone playful but with a teasing edge. “Always so polite, probably says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ the whole time.”

Your cheeks flushed, and though you managed to keep your expression neutral, you felt a surge of protectiveness for Spencer. The image they were painting of him was so far from the truth that it almost made you want to correct them right then and there, tell them the truth of his tendencies. But you stayed quiet, your bedroom life with Spencer was private, something just for the two of you, and you had no desire to share those intimate details with anyone else—not even his closest friends.

Spencer laughed it off, making a self-deprecating joke to deflect the attention, but you could tell the teasing had gotten to him. He stayed quiet for the rest of the night, offering only the occasional smile or nod as the conversation continued around him.

When you finally got home, the silence between you was thick with unspoken tension. Spencer had been quiet the whole ride back, and as soon as you closed the front door behind you, you knew it was time to address it.

“Spencer,” you began softly, reaching out to touch his arm. “Are you okay? You’ve been really quiet since we left."

He turned to you, his expression conflicted, a mix of frustration and hurt. “It’s just… is that how they see me? As this meek, vanilla guy who can’t… who can’t be anything else?”

Your heart ached for him. “They don’t know you like I do, Spencer. They were just teasing. They don’t realize how far off they are.”

Spencer shook his head, pulling away slightly. “But you didn’t say anything. You just sat there and let them think… let them think I’m some kind of pushover.”

You sighed, understanding now where this was coming from. “Spencer, I didn’t say anything because I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business what happens between us. We agreed not to share that part of our relationship with them.”

“I know that,” he replied, his voice strained. “But it felt like you were agreeing with them by staying silent. Like you were okay with them seeing me that way.”

You stepped closer to him, reaching out to cup his face in your hands. “Spencer, listen to me. I don’t care what they think. I know who you are. I know how you make me feel, how you take care of me, how passionate and intense you can be. None of that needs to be proven to anyone else.” You caressed his cheekbones with your thumbs. “Besides, do you think you really want them to know how you have me bent over the back of the couch more often than not? How you have me counting out my punishments?”

His eyes softened, but there was still a lingering doubt. “But it just… it made me feel like they think I’m less of a man or something. Like I’m not enough.”

You shook your head firmly. “You are more than enough, Spencer. You’re everything I could ever want. What we have is special, and I don’t need to justify it to anyone else. They can think whatever they want, but at the end of the day, they don’t know the real you. I do.”

He looked at you, really looked at you, and you could see the tension slowly start to leave his body. He let out a long breath, his shoulders relaxing as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. It just… got under my skin.”

You hugged him tightly, pressing a soft kiss to his chest. “I understand, Spencer. But remember, you’re incredible just the way you are. And I love you for it. All of it.”

Spencer nodded, the last of his frustration melting away as he held you. “Thank you. I love you too. And I’m sorry for doubting that.”

You smiled, leaning up to kiss him gently. “You don’t ever have to apologize for how you feel. But just know, I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything.”

With that, the tension between you finally broke, and the two of you spent the rest of the night curled up together, letting the world outside fade away as you focused on each other, knowing that what you shared was something far deeper and more meaningful than anyone else could ever understand.

+++

Spencer had never really been the jealous type, but he was angry. Since the night of teasing at the bar, he'd been on edge.

It gnawed at him in a way he hadn't expected, chipping away at his usual calm demeanor. Since that night, there had been a subtle shift in his behavior—small things that you noticed but didn’t immediately address, hoping it would pass. But now, standing in the bar waiting for your drink, it was clear that something had snapped.

You had been leaning against the counter, waiting patiently for your order, when a stranger approached. He was confident, with a cocky smile, and placed his hand lightly on the small of your back. “Hey there,” he said smoothly, “let me get that for you.” He motioned to the bartender, offering to pay for your drink.

Before you could politely decline, you felt a familiar presence behind you. Spencer’s hand wrapped firmly around your wrist, and before you could even process what was happening, he was pulling you away from the bar. His grip was gentle but insistent, his usual reserved demeanor replaced by something far more intense.

The stranger barely had time to react as Spencer led you out of the bar and into a dimly lit alley beside the building. The air was cooler outside, and the sudden change in environment only heightened the tension. Spencer didn’t say a word as he pressed you against the brick wall, his lips crashing onto yours with a force that took your breath away. There was no hesitation in his movements—his hands were everywhere, roaming over your body, pulling you flush against him as if he couldn’t stand the thought of any distance between you.

His kisses were fierce, demanding, and you responded in kind, matching his intensity with your own. It was as if all the unspoken emotions from the past few days had finally found an outlet, and Spencer was pouring everything into this moment. His usual restraint was gone, replaced by a raw, desperate need to claim you, to reassure himself of your connection.

You gasped into his mouth, fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, needing to feel him, to ground yourself in the whirlwind of his sudden possessiveness. His hands slid down to your hips, gripping them tightly as he pressed you harder against the wall, his body anchoring you in place.

“Spencer,” you whispered between kisses, your voice breathless. “Take me home."

His breath hitched at your words, a spark of something dangerous flaring in his eyes. Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled back slightly, his hand still firmly on your hip as he nodded, his voice low and filled with unspoken promise. "Let's go."

The walk back to your car was charged with anticipation, the quiet intensity between you almost palpable. Spencer’s hand remained on the small of your back, guiding you with a sense of urgency that sent shivers down your spine. The drive home was a blur, the silence between you thick with the weight of what was about to happen. Every glance he shot your way was laced with desire, his fingers drumming impatiently on the steering wheel as if he could barely contain himself.

As soon as you stepped through the door of your apartment, Spencer was on you, his lips crashing against yours with a fervor that stole your breath. He kicked the door shut behind you, his hands roaming your body, mapping out every inch of you as if he couldn’t get enough. You could feel the tension in his muscles, the raw need that had been building inside him finally finding release.

You barely made it to the bedroom, clothes discarded in a trail behind you, the air around you electric with anticipation. By the time you reached the bed, Spencer was a man possessed, his usual gentle touch replaced by something much more primal. He pushed you onto the bed, his body covering yours in an instant, and you could feel the heat radiating off him, his need for you almost overwhelming.

His hands were everywhere—gripping your thighs, your waist, your arms—as he kissed you deeply, his tongue sliding against yours in a way that made you moan into his mouth. He was relentless, his touch both commanding and desperate, as if he needed to prove to himself, and to you, that you were his.

“God please touch me, Spence. You’re the only person who could ever make me cum. I need your mouth on me baby, please.” He looks up at you through his lashes while he bites into your thigh, sucking so hard you know there’ll be a purple bruise tomorrow.  

Before you’ve prepared, he latches his mouth onto your pussy, laying his tongue flat against you and shaking his head back and forth. You scream out, taking a fistful of his curly hair into your hand and holding on for dear life as he licks and sucks feverishly. His saliva mixed with your arousal makes an absolute mess, dripping down your thighs and onto the sheets. He pulls back for a moment and puts two fingers up to your mouth. “Open.” He orders and you oblige, opening and wrapping your tongue around his digits, moaning as you do. He watches you intensely and bites his lip as he imagines how you’d work him if you were sucking him off.

Once his fingers are wet, he pulls them out of your mouth and down to your core, circling a few times on your clit before pushing them into you completely. You let out a string of curse words as he curls them inside you, hitting your G-spot over and over again. Just when you thought it couldn’t feel any more intense, he reattaches his mouth to your hood, using his tongue to trace figure-eights. Your toes begin to curl as you feel the familiar knot in the pit of your stomach.

You shakily cry out his name, tugging his hair harder. The vibration from his moan brings you closer, a cry spilling from your lips. He doesn't stop, continuing his attack on your clit, his fingers picking up speed.

You wriggle and writhe beneath him, holding back cries. A second orgasm washes over you, voice taken as he finally sits back, hands running over your thighs soothingly.

"You know what I was thinking about the entire night?" He asked, undoing the buttons of his shirt.

"Tell me," you said through pants. "What were you thinking of?"

"How good your ass looked today."

You chuckled. "Really?"

Spencer's lips curled into a smirk as he nodded, his eyes darkening with that familiar hunger. "Really," he confirmed, his voice low and husky as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the toned chest beneath. "I couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time you walked by, every time you leaned over, it drove me crazy."

You felt a flush of heat spread through your body at his words, a mixture of surprise and excitement. "And what did you want to do about it?" you asked, your voice trembling with anticipation.

He shrugged off his shirt, tossing it aside before leaning back over you, his hands once again finding their place on your hips, gripping them possessively. "How badly I want to make them sting." His lips run over your collarbone, voice dropping. "I know you like it."

You whimper, nodding. "Then do it."

As you turn over, your breath catches in anticipation, your skin tingling with the promise of what’s to come. Spencer’s hands trail down your back, gentle at first, as if savoring the moment, before they grip your hips with that familiar possessiveness.

His voice is low, almost a growl, as he leans in close, his breath hot against your ear. "You know I’m going to make you beg for it, don’t you?"

You shiver at his words, your body reacting instinctively to the mix of dominance and tenderness in his tone. "Please, Spencer," you whisper, your voice trembling with need. "I want it… I need it."

He lets out a low, satisfied hum, his hands sliding down to your ass, kneading the flesh before his fingers curl, and with a swift, calculated motion, he brings his hand down in a firm slap. The sharp sting spreads through you, igniting your nerves and drawing a gasp from your lips.

"How does that feel?" he asks, his voice dripping with control.

"Perfect," you manage to gasp out, the sting from his hand already sending ripples of pleasure through you.

His hand comes down again, harder this time, and you arch your back in response, biting your lip to hold back a cry. Each slap is deliberate, perfectly timed, and as the sensation builds, so does your desire. The pain is just enough to make you ache for more, to make you want to give in to everything he’s offering. Spencer’s hand continues its work, each strike sending a wave of heat and electricity through your body. Your breaths come out in ragged pants, and you can feel your entire being focused on the sensations he’s creating, on the way he’s drawing out your pleasure.

"Do you like it when I make you feel like this?" he asks, his voice husky and rough as his hand moves rhythmically against you.

"Yes," you breathe out, your voice almost desperate. "I love it… I love how you make me feel, Spencer."

"Good," he murmurs, his voice filled with satisfaction. He presses a kiss to the back of your neck before his hand delivers another firm slap, making your skin burn in the best possible way. "Because I love making you feel this way."

The stinging pleasure only heightens your need for him, and as his hand continues to bring you to the edge of what you can take, you know you’re utterly and completely his. The mix of pain and pleasure is intoxicating, and you’re lost in the sensation, in the way he’s controlling your body with such expert precision. When he finally stops, his hand soothing over your stinging skin, you can’t help but whimper at the loss, your body still thrumming with need. Spencer leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder as he murmurs against your skin, "You’re so beautiful like this. Do you want more?"

"Please," you gasp, barely able to form the words through the haze of desire that’s clouding your mind. "Please, Spencer… I need more."

His voice is a dark promise as he whispers in your ear, "Then let’s see just how much you can take."

Spencer's hands glide up your sides, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down your spine. He leans in close, his breath hot against your ear as he whispers, “Stay still for me.”

You nod, your breath catching as you feel him shift behind you. His fingers trace the curve of your back before gripping your hips again, positioning you just how he wants. The anticipation is almost too much to bear, your body thrumming with a mix of pleasure and need as you wait for his next move.

He takes his time, savoring the way you’re laid out before him. His hands run over your reddened skin, soothing the sting he’d so carefully crafted moments before. “You’re so perfect like this,” he murmurs, his voice rough with desire. “Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?”

You can only whimper in response, your voice lost in the overwhelming sensations coursing through you. You feel his fingers slide between your thighs, teasing you just enough to make you arch into his touch, desperate for more.

“Tell me what you need,” he commands, his voice deep and authoritative.

“You,” you gasp, barely able to form the words. “I need you, Spencer. Please.”

He chuckles softly, clearly satisfied with your response. “Good girl,” he praises, his fingers dipping inside you briefly, just enough to make you moan in frustration when he pulls back. “But I want to hear you beg for it.”

“Please,” you whimper, your body trembling with need. “Please, Spencer, I need you inside me. I need to feel you.”

Spencer’s breath hitches at your words, his resolve almost breaking. He leans over you, pressing his lips to the back of your neck as he aligns himself with you. “You’re going to feel every inch of me,” he promises, his voice low and rough. “And I’m not going to stop until you’re completely spent.”

You turn over again, letting your thighs fall open, giving him a full view of your soaked cunt. "Please, Spencer."

With that, he pushes into you slowly, savoring the way you gasp and arch beneath him. The sensation of him filling you is overwhelming, the mix of pleasure and the remnants of the stinging pain creating an intoxicating blend that has you crying out in pure bliss.

Spencer sets a rhythm that’s both torturous and perfect, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. His hands grip your hips with enough force to leave marks, pulling you back to meet him with every movement. The sounds of skin against skin fill the room, the only other noise your combined moans and gasps of pleasure.

“Do you like this?” he asks, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. “Do you like how I’m making you feel?”

“Yes,” you cry out, your voice breaking with the intensity of it all. “I love it, Spencer, I love you.”

He growls in response, his pace quickening as he drives you closer to the brink. The tension in your body coils tighter and tighter until you feel like you’re about to snap, and then, with one final, deep thrust, you’re thrown over the edge. Your orgasm crashes over you, wave after wave of pleasure so intense that you can’t help but scream his name.

“Who’s fucking you this good?” Spencer grunted, his hips slamming relentlessly against yours.

You replied with a noise just short of a scream, clinging to his biceps. He has you pretzeled underneath him, one leg slung around his hip, the other over his shoulder. The raw spots of your ass brush against his thighs with each thrust, each one a rush of excitement

He brought a hand to your chin, forcing you to look at him through hooded eyes. “What’s my name, darling?” He asked, huffing as he kept his pace up.

“Spencer!” You whined, clawing at his shoulders. Your voice gave out soon after, little squeaks escaping as you chase your high.

He pulled away, panting. “Over. All fours.”

You obliged, turning and arching your back as he propped your hips up. He slid a pillow beneath you, gripping the corners to hold your hips up. You gripped the sheets, wailing as he pushed into you again. He pumps a few times before pulling your wrists to the small of your back, pulling you so you’re back to front with him.

“Spence,” you whined, eyes screwed shut.

He laughs, actually laughs. “What are you crying for, princess?” He says, his lips grazing against your ear. “I’m giving you what you want.”

Your head falls back and you sigh as his kisses begin to get heavier, teeth involved now. You hear his wet kissing noises grow until you feel his teeth sink into your skin. You yelp, hands begging to be freed but his grip tightens.

“Don’t make me get the tie,” he threatened lowly. “I don’t want to leave your pretty little cunt empty.”

You whimpered at his words. “Don't,” you begged quietly, feeling tears roll and drop onto your chest. “I can’t-“

Spencer stopped, bottomed out. “Or maybe I should.” He began to slide out of you, leaving just the tip inside. “Good girls deserve to get fucked, but you haven’t been a good girl, have you?”

“No, Spence. I haven’t.” The gravel in your tone makes your voice unfamiliar. “But please, I’ll do whatever you want me to- anything. Just please let me cum again.” You craned your neck to look him in the eyes. “Please.”

His eyes softened. “Color?”

“Green,” you whispered back.

He watches your face scrunch up then relax in pleasure as you gasp when he fully enters inside you. His palms go to the part of your thighs below your knees. He forces them to open wider, rocking gently at first.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said softly.

You nod and take a deep breath. Another orgasm begins, your body going rigid as your breath catches in your throat. This time he lets you finish, letting your hands go. You catch yourself on the mattress, whining as you fuck yourself back onto him. He’s stopped moving, letting you use him as his hands roam over your back as he coats the inside of your walls with his own arousal. When you’re finished, you fall forward, his cock slipping out of you in the process.

You lay like that for a few seconds, ass in the air, catching your breath. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you beg him not to touch you for a moment. Your hand is in the air, palm flat. He respects your space, showering you in compliments and thank you's. You stop him when an apology leaves his lips.

“Don’t be,” you said, eyes still closed but your voice is firm.

You can hear him smile. “Can I touch you again?”

You nodded.

Without wasting another moment, Spencer propped you up by your hips again, spreading you with both hands. Spencer sighed at the sight of your cunt, his cum slowly dripping out of you. You flinched as he ran his thumb through your folds, swiping your clit in an up and down motion. You moaned at the feeling. The coil in your abdomen tightened and released in record time, your hands twisting in the sheets as you wailed out his name again.

You flipped over, legs on either side of him. He pulled you up against him, your ass again this chest.

He let go of your clit with a pop sound just to go back and suck it even harder. Your back arching as your mouth and throat were dry from all the moaning and crying, your grip on his hair becoming tighter. You let out one loud moan, your legs shaking and squeezing Spencer’s head between them. You feel a warm gush as he pulls away, marveling at the mess he’s made. His eyes are sparkling, jaw slack as he studied how your body reacted. He licked a swipe up your folds, catching everything he could on his tongue. He leans over you, opening your mouth. You let him, nodding as you placed your hand on the back of his neck. 

He spits the mixture of his and your cum into your mouth. You swallow it down, opening your mouth to prove that it’s gone. You collapse into the bed, sticky and fucked out. Spencer stands up, picking up his boxers from the floor before going to the bathroom. He returns a few minutes later with a warmed washcloth. He drapes it over your warm cunt before using it to wipe away any of tonight’s mess. A water bottle is pressed into your hand and you let it roll out of your palm. 

“Are you alright?” He asked softly, one hand cradling your head. 

You nod, finally opening your eyes. His hair is tousled, sticking to his forehead in some places. “I’m alright, Spencie.” 

He grinned. “I love you.” 

“I love you.” 

+++

The next morning, the BAU office was alive with the usual hustle, but the moment you walked in, the energy shifted. Your steps were slower than usual, each movement causing a slight grimace. As you made your way to your desk, every head turned, curiosity etched on the faces of your colleagues. You could feel the weight of their stares, but you were determined to play it cool. Sliding into your chair with a quiet hiss, you placed your jacket beneath you for some added cushion. It didn’t help much, but it was better than nothing.

Morgan, always the first to break the silence, leaned back in his chair with a wide grin. “Damn, girl, what happened to you? Looks like you went ten rounds in the ring.”

Emily shot you a teasing glance, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Or, more likely, someone had a very intense evening.”

You gave them both a tired but amused look, trying to keep your expression neutral. “Let’s just say I had an… interesting night. And I’m definitely feeling it this morning.”

Before anyone could press further, Spencer strolled into the bullpen, a noticeable spring in his step. He approached your desk with a smugness that only you could truly decipher, carrying a cup of coffee like it was a trophy. With a self-satisfied grin, he placed the cup in front of you, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple. “Good morning, love,” he said, his voice laced with a warmth that made you both roll your eyes and smile.

“Morning,” you replied, reaching for the coffee, grateful for the momentary distraction.

But as Spencer straightened up, you noticed something that made your stomach flip—he had a shit-eating grin on his face. That was when it hit you: he was enjoying this. He knew exactly what the team was thinking, and he was reveling in it.

You watched him saunter over to his desk, pretending to be oblivious to the shocked whispers and side glances being exchanged across the room. But you knew better. That grin, the slight swagger in his walk—Spencer Reid was basking in the glory of his teammates’ surprise.

Morgan’s jaw dropped, and he pointed a finger at Spencer, then back at you. “Did you guys see that? I mean, I thought Reid was a little more- damn!”

Emily smirked, shaking her head in disbelief. “I did not see that coming. Who knew Spencer had it in him?”

JJ chuckled, giving you a look that was part admiration, part amusement. “Looks like there’s a lot we don’t know about Spencer.” She nodded, mouthing, we’ll talk about this later.

Rossi chimed in, a bemused expression on his face. “Well, you know what they say, it’s always the quiet ones.”

You glanced over at Spencer, who was now seated at his desk, diligently pretending to be engrossed in his paperwork. The grin on his face, however, betrayed his true feelings—he was thoroughly enjoying the attention, playing the part of the humble genius who just happened to surprise everyone.

But you weren’t going to let him off that easy. No, Spencer Reid was going to pay for that smug grin, just not today. And probably not tomorrow. You needed to recover first, but in a few days… oh, you were going to give him his. And it would be worth the wait.

[daenysx]

hi lovely ! i have a request ! i'm a sucker for comforting others so could you do another fic like glossy eyes of a pretty boy but sfw and slightly different? i was thinking maybe james loses a quidditch match and maybe has a panic attack or is just really worked up so rem and siri have to come get us to go calm him down :((( he's my baby i love him so bad !!! and ofc if you don't want to you don't have to !!! ty my lovely ! <3

i hope you enjoy, thank you for requesting, angel <33333

james potter x fem!reader, sfw (they are just kissing through the end but nothing else)

you're trying to focus on what you're writing when sirius appears. his hair is messed up from running, you look at him through curious eyes. "what's wrong?" you ask.

"hey, gorgeous." he says first. he takes a seat next to you and tries to catch his breath. "sorry- i'll tell you in a second."

"do you want some water?" you ask, giggling. he shakes his head. "i'm fine, i'm fine."

"something happened?"

"what's that?" he asks you before answering your question. his finger points the books in front of you.

"i'm trying to finish the potions essay." you say. "it's not going really well."

"um- do you mind taking a break?" sirius asks, his breathing turns into normal each second. "prongs might need your company."

"what happened to him?" you worry. "is he okay?"

sirius tries to fix his hair with useless fingers. "yeah, but- he's a bit upset. the meeting we had for the next match didn't go well, the new ones in team kinda messed with his head, i guess."

"where is he?" you ask him as you start collecting your things. sirius takes your book bag to his shoulder as he leads the way to their room.

you knew james was nervous for the next match, it's against slytherin and most of the time a fight or an argument is inevitable. what's weird is that the argument happening inside the gryffindor team. james hates when something goes wrong in the game because of personal conflicts, he doesn't like mixing things together.

the walk is not long, sirius walks with you until the common room. you can spot remus sitting on the couch as you step in. his arms are crossed, his long legs placed on the small table in front.

"hi, remus." you say when he sees you.

"hi." he says with a remuslike smile. "thanks for coming so fast."

"is he okay?" you ask him. sirius puts your bag on the couch before settling down next to remus.

"he's okay, besides going insane over the match." remus answers. "i've never seen prongs panicking too much, i mean it's just a game right?"

"it's never just a game, beloved moony." sirius shakes his head. "the team is literally being sabotaged by itself, it's worse than losing against slytherin."

"i'm gonna check up on him." you tell them, accepting their brief nods as answer.

you knock on the door before entering. james doesn't reply. when you open the door and take a gentle step inside, he lifts his head. he doesn't say anything until you walk towards him.

"hi, jamie." you say, softly. "can i come in?"

it's normally a stupid question, you already came in. you just don't want to bother james if he wants to be alone. he nods. he's sitting on his messed up bed, his glasses thrown aside just like his tie. his shirt lost a few top buttons, and you can see the red in his pretty eyes when you're this close.

you stand in front of james, almost between his parted legs. he extends a shaky hand to pull you closer. the room reflects his mood, you think, you've never seen it so messy.

james looks at you briefly before putting his head on your belly. his weak arms are wrapped around your hips to keep you, your hands quickly go to his head to let him know it's okay. he can cry if he wants to, or scream, even though he seems like he's lacking the energy for it. he stays there until he breathes right. you rub the tense muscles of his shoulder with your one hand as your other hand strokes his hair.

"thank you for coming." he says with a rough voice. "i know you had work to do."

you cup his cheek to lift his head. your thumb rubs the angry tears on his face until it's dry. "my work isn't more important than you."

"thanks."

you give him a smile. it doesn't reach your eyes but james will understand. "do you wanna talk about it? the boys said a few things about the match but i don't really know what happened."

james shakes his head. "i can tell you later." he says. "i really don't wanna hear anything about the bloody match."

you give him a quick nod. he reaches for your hand.

"can you-" he sniffs. "can we lay down for a minute?"

"of course, baby." you say. "for as long as you want."

you help james put his head on your chest as you find a nice position to cuddle him. your arms around him feel safe, you can't see his face properly but you know he tries to calm down by taking in your familiar scent.

he's so precious, your boy. you like how passionate he is for the things he loves, he pushes himself hard until he is where he wants to be. you know it's stressful, being a solid part of a team and trying to make new people get along. james is the sunshine, he's easygoing and charming, but when he gets upset, it's hard to turn back to his normal self. he needs some time.

you play with his hair until he goes lax in your arms. his pent up energy slowly disappears. he drags his hand to your waist to rub the skin he can reach through your shirt.

you can almost count his eyelashes with this angle. he's gorgeous, even when he's mad. you think this is the real magic. he truly is a magical being, and it has nothing to do with the things he can do with his wand. you like how he's deep in his emotions, all of them, he lives bravely, never backs down from feeling anything. he'll be okay, he can stay here as long as he wants.

the kisses you press on his hair are soothing, you need to lift your head to reach him but it's fine. there are no words, just you and just him.

james sits on bed with slow motions when it becomes bearable. you watch him. "i'm okay." he says. "i'm sorry for worrying you."

"we were worried about you, but it's okay if you feel better." you say to him. he gets as comfortable as he can to settle down on top of your body to give you a good kiss, the kind of kiss that messes with his breathing and quickens his heartbeat. you cup his cheeks, thumbs drawing half moons on his skin. he's so soft now, no hurt feelings left. he closes his eyes to you, his lips conveying every thought he doesn't need to talk about anymore.

"everything will work out with the team." you say when he breaks the kiss. "you only need to be patient, my love. you'll do so well. you'll win the match."

james nods before putting his head on the crook of your neck. "remus is saying the same thing." he tells you. "i know we can beat them and- i only want everyone in team to feel that way."

"i think they already do." you believe what you say. "it must be stressful for everyone."

"yes. probably." james accepts. "we need more time."

"that's right." you agree. "can i bring you something to eat? i think we missed dinner."

"oh." he lifts his head. he was so deep in his sulking, he didn't realize how much time you spent next to him. "i'm sorry, angel. i totally forgot. i'll go get us something to eat."

"i'm not really hungry." you smile. "but food always makes you feel better, so..."

you're teasing and suddenly everything feels normal. james kisses your cheek and leaves his bed. "you always make me feel better." he says, such a romantic, he's down bad. "i'm so lucky to have you."

you blush under his gaze. your fingers try to fix the buttons of his shirt. "come on, potter, i decided i'm starving now. you also need to see sirius and remus, they were worried."

james holds your hand. "let's go then."

[hannieehaee]

Hi, please do a continuation of your idol mingyu fics🥺 I really love me a nsfw idol mingyu fic so if you could continue it im gladly waiting for it!!

18+ / mdi

content: idol!mingyu x idol!reader, established relationship, secret relationship, simp!mingyu, afab reader, smut, oral (f receiving), etc.

wc: 2013

original fic

a/n: thank u for requesting idol!gyu i love him so bad <33

masterlist

handling a brand new relationship was already hard enough on its own. now add the extra stress of having to keep it a secret from the entire world, and then you have mingyu's current situation.

he had waited years to finally confess, never really expecting that the day where he could have you would ever come. and now that he had you, he was slightly frustrated at how little of you he could actually have.

not only did the two of you have constant conflicting schedules, but you also had to keep things as discreet as possible due to the nature of relationships within your industry (and maybe also due to mingyu's many exes being spread all throughout the industry).

mingyu tried not to be too annoyed by how little of you he got to keep to himself these past few weeks, with your schedules conflicting far too much for his liking. whenever he was off work, you just so happened to have a last-minute appearance at some fashion event in another country. in any occasion in which you were finally off idol duties, he suddenly had yet another shoot for a company he was the new ambassador of. there was just no way for the two of you to be in the same place for longer than an hour before one of you was called away to some over-complicated schedule.

and though mingyu really really did his best to not let this affect his mood, the inevitable eventually happened, and he finally snapped.

okay, he did not snap per say, but the drastic change in his mood was easily noticed by not only his members, but even staff.

throughout the past week, he had been the talk of the town (re: hybe) due to his unusual behavior. the usually high-spirited and highly energized mingyu everyone knew and loved had been overcome by a shell of his former; a grumpy and lazy giant who would grumble in response to any and every inquiry and would give his bare minimum during group activities (though never in front of carats – he could not help but always be a sweetheart to his carats).

for the past six days or so, mingyu had not been in contact with you. the most he could get were a few texts throughout the day due to both your groups having a comeback at practically the same time. he had not heard your voice or seen your face. not only were you promoting in america (giving you a sixteen hour time difference from korea), but you were also running on about four hours of sleep since your departure. in the meantime, mingyu was preparing for his own group's promotions, knowing that by the time you got back, seventeen would also leave the country and you would find yourself in the same situation.

the thought of yet another week with zero communication made mingyu lose his mind even further, causing him to be even more snappy as the days went by. one week became two, and you were finally due to come back, something that would've usually elated mingyu, except that his departure was scheduled just a few hours after your arrival.

today had been the worst day of all for his members, who had had to deal with mingyu's sour mood these past two weeks (and occasionally deal with his cries due to missing your presence). but enough was enough. not only was mingyu inadvertently messing with the synergy of the group, but a few members also felt bad for the pathetic mess mingyu had become due to your incidental separation. it was time to take matters into their own hands.

~

mingyu had never loved his members more than he did at this current moment.

sure, they'd been with him through thick and thin; since the beginning of his career up to the moment where they finally made it to the top. but none of those moments compared to the makeshift 'intervention' they had prepared for him just one day prior to your arrival (and consequent break from comeback activities).

he had been annoyed by it at first, assuming they were just going to grill him due to his lack of effort these past few weeks, but he was surprised to find that they had spoken to the company on his behalf. before he could protest about what he assumed to be some sort of punishment for his unusual behavior, he was informed by an easily-excitable soonyoung that they had convinced the company to allow him to stay in korea for an extra week before joining the rest of the members in overseas promotions. they had come up with a fake statement – something about conflicting schedules with one of the brands he was meant to promote for – in order to give justification to the public as to why he'd be staying behind. they comforted him and told him they understood his frustrations and knew what a hard worker he was, that they simply wanted to give him a few days to recover with you.

mingyu could've cried – and he did. he was beyond elated. he apologized profusely for becoming a weight to his members, getting on his knees to thank them for doing him such a solid, promising he would come back better than ever and that he would work as hard as he could to make up for the past two weeks. he was met with reassurance from his members and a few lighthearted curses due to jealousy of his free time with his girlfriend.

he spent the rest of the day with a reinstated good-mood and the most energy his members had seen from him in weeks.

~

as mingyu came to find out a few hours later, you were blissfully unaware of the sudden change of plans, still believing that he'd be out of the country by the time you got back home.

mingyu fell in love with you all over again the moment you gasped in shock and immediately ran into his arms as you found him waiting for you in your apartment, wrapping his arms around you with the warmest embrace he could muster, lifting you so that you could wrap yourself around him.

"gyu! what are you doing here?", you inquired excitedly as you pulled away.

mingyu didn't let go of you as he responded, "hybe gave me the week off. i get to stay with you til monday. surprised?", he grinned.

"a week?! oh my god! fuck, i've missed you so much," you went back to burying your face in his neck, drinking in the embrace.

"missed you more, beautiful. can't believe i finally get you all to myself again," he put you down slowly so that he could grab onto your hands, bringing them up to his lips so that he could kiss them over and over as you giggled at his antics, "i have so many things planned for the two of us."

"yeah?", you moved closer to him, placing your hands on his shoulders, "like what?", you flirted.

"gonna do everything ive been holding back on ..." he breathed out as he lowered his face down to yours.

"wanna show me?"

"yeah, angel, i'll show you ..."

those were the last words spoken before he took over your senses with a heady kiss, kissing you with so much strength that he physically pushed you back a few steps. his control was lost pretty quickly into the kiss, his senses weakened by the feeling of your body so close to his own.

wordlessly, he guided you in direction to your room, not allowing for your lips to disconnect for even a second as he laid you down on the bed and hovered over you. even as you began to lose your breath to the kiss, mingyu would only allow for your lips to disconnect for a few seconds at a time, taking a single breath before going back to licking into your mouth.

his hands had a mind of their own as they felt every inch of skin they could find, simply ridding themselves of any obstacles by removing your clothing as he unlocked new skin for his hands to touch.

"fuck ... did you get prettier, angel?", he finally disconnected your lips, though not without groaning at the way in which your lips chased after his despite your lack of breath, admiring the almost fully nude body under his own.

remaining fully clothed, mingyu could not feel your skin against his own, a circumstance that frustrated him too much to not solve it immediately. without a second thought, he ripped off his clothes and leaned down to kiss at your neck as his hands took care of the remnants of your clothing.

"hmm, angel? get prettier in my absence? were you keeping all this beauty safe and sound for me?", he was as soft in his words as he was with his movements, caressing the skin of your breasts as he removed your bra.

"gyu ... do something. please," you whined as he traced your nipple and kissed at your neck.

"what do you want, angel? cause i have a few ideas of my own."

"anything, just ..."

"anything? can i have that pretty cunt, then?", he breathed, his lips now against your ear.

"y-yeah, fuck. please."

within seconds he had made his way to the ground, kneeling before you as he buried his face between your thighs and went to town. his lips had already traced every inch leading down to your cunt, fully prepared to bring you to your first orgasm of the night with those same plump lips.

"so fucking good ..." he purred against your cunt, "grind it against my tongue, yeah, baby? wanna feel you gush on my tongue," his words were slurred, refusing to disconnect his lips from your cunt for even one second.

"g-gyu? i'm ... i, fuck ... gonna cum. need to cum. please ...", you whined, fully delirious from the feeling of his tongue.

"do it, angel. gonna lick it all up n give it back to you. been dreaming of you gushing all over my face," he breathed just a few moments before granting his own wish by leading you to your high.

you whined and cried as he continued to lick and suck at you throughout your orgasm, pulling at his hair and grinding against him simultaneously as your body fought against the sensitivity of your cunt while he refused to halt his attack on you.

after your high finally dissipated, mingyu made his way back up your body, once again kissing a trail through the entirety of it until reaching your lips.

he groaned against you as you gave him a kiss so nasty it had his eyes rolling back. he licked your taste right onto your own tongue, sucking it back as your tongues danced with one another. his cock was beyond hard by now, making him grind against your sensitive cunt as the two of you made out.

he reluctantly pulled away before he could get too carried away again.

"i really did miss you so much," he whispered against your lips.

"i missed you too, gyu."

"no, but i genuinely felt like i was going insane," he continued, "i didnt know i could miss anyone this much."

you cupped his cheek as you reciprocated the sentiment.

"now that i finally have you, being away from you at all is torture," he confessed, chuckling at how dramatic yet serious he sounded.

"i love you, gyu," you concluded, "i'm so happy i get to have you a whole week. i .. i'll make it so we can be together more often. i don't know how, but we can do this. right?"

he smiled and pecked you once, "yeah. not letting anything keep me away from you. i love you."

the soft moment was eventually interrupted by even more unseemly activities between your sheets. and the week was filled with constant love shared between the two of you as you finally reunited, fully determined to make this a frequent occurrence.

[shaunashipman]

i am genuinely a bit scared for my fellow bucktommies because with all the love eyes for bucktommy and tommy, i am not sure if people don't happily-ever-after too close to the sun with their expectations about how the bucktommy relationship will continue. 911 is still very much a drama show that will create drama out of thin air if it has to, oftentimes in ways that feel very dumb and will make the characters look very bad. we have seen in the past that resolutions are usually very lackluster, or sometimes even off screen. i personally really look forward to see buck and tommy, but i hope we all remember that buck AND tommy will fuck up at some point, and maybe even fuck up Bad. please be careful out there with how high you set your expectations, my fellow bucktommies, and don't forget that buck and tommy will have conflict again, with the others or with each other, sooner or later! (i hope it will be compelling and nuanced and interesting conflict that fuels their development, at the very least 🤞 but i also know that i am watching 911 so...)

so nonny, this isn't really directed at you, but i'm gonna use your ask as a springboard cause i'm seeing this sentiment pop up a lot

people need to stop conflating fanon actions with desires for canon

by this i mean, 99% of what i post about bucktommy, are things i never expect to happen in canon, and some of it quite honestly i would not want to happen in canon. i obviously can't speak for everyone, but most of the people i interact with are well aware that the characters on screen are not really the characters we're playing with in our sandbox.

and that's okay. that's how fandom is supposed to work. fandom is separate from the source material. we didn't used to need to post disclaimers about how no, we don't actually think this is going to happen. no, we don't actually think their relationship is going to be sunshine and roses. ppl in fiction act stupid cause sometimes the writer needs stupid to move the plot where they want. I, as a fan, can choose whether to incorporate said stupidity into my existing fanon, whether to analyze it to see how it could fit with my existing fanon, or whether to toss it out, baby and all.

part of the reason fandoms start is because we find the source material lacking. so honestly, when buck or tommy, or any characters, inevitably acts like a dick in a way that seems counter to their previous characterization, it's just more fodder for fandom, a new facet of their character that we then get to analyze and decide why they're doing it. well behaved women rarely make history and well behaved characters rarely make fandoms

so, just so it's clear, at least from me, unless I specifically state that this is what I think will happen in canon, everything I post about bucktommy, and basically all of my fandoms, is not even wishful thinking, it's just me playing with my dolls.

[cinnamostar]

five dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three (here). part four. part five. part six coming soon.

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.7k

cw :actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn (?!), not proofread, descriptors of insecurity and stuff, internal struggle but nothing serious

a/n : finally... its here... sorry for this taking long, i was traveling for holidays and then classes started but its here! lmk what you guys think :3 this chapter is a lot chiller imo... just trying to set a Vibe of emotional conflict... ALSO im not trying to paint hyunjin as the bad guy.,.,, but i think its also important to show that people will form opinions no matter what and will inevitably pick a side. so yus...

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Tears cascaded down your warm cheeks as you tossed yourself in your bed, the frustration and anger you were holding back finally catching up to you as quiet sobs escaped your lips. You hated how horrible the feeling of pure anger, as it always felt you were on the verge of bursting at the seams from how violent and erratic the emotion was as it overran your body. You had no idea what to do with it, always allowing it to linger til it overwhelmed you to the point of tears and surrendered to its burning grip. Your phone began to vibrate, which your hand mindlessly reached over for and picked up without second thought, as you knew it would be no other than Chan calling you at such a moment.

“Y/N… Are you okay?” concern dripped from Chan’s voice, while all you could muster out was a muffled grumble as you stuffed your tear-stained face into your pillows. “Right,” he responds, acknowledging your groan, “Well, I heard what happened through Changbin, so I called to check in on you.”

You take a deep breath in to soothe your hoarse throat from your onslaught of tears, praying your voice wouldn’t be too shaky as you spoke, “Well, I’m upset.”

“I don’t blame you one bit, I’d be just as upset as you are,” he reassured you gently, “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you need some more time to figure your feelings out?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, turning your face away from the pillows so your voice was clearer, “I don’t know how to feel. It’s just a lot. It’s such a stupid reason for him to have just been so shitty to me for so long. He literally could’ve just asked me or talked to me about it instead of assuming.”

“Right, I agree. Even Changbin didn’t know about that being the reason,” added Chan, “I’m sure he lectured him on it because that is a crazy conclusion to jump to.”

“And I’m even more upset that was the conclusion he landed on! Why did he just assume I’d do something so terrible? Why did he not consider that I was trying to help him secure the role?”

“Sounds like he has an insecurity issue, if I had to guess, but who knows. You have every right to be upset, but there is another pressing matter we do need to address.”

You sigh, rolling onto your back as you use your free hand to rub your temples, “Yeah, I know. As upset as I am right now, I do still want to keep doing this project, but…”

“But…?”

“I don’t really… know if I can do that because I don’t wanna see his stupid face or go out on any other practice dates,” you huffed angrily, feeling a bit relieved to verbalize some of your feelings. 

“Well, I won’t force you to go on another date if you still need time to cool off, but maybe it will help you get used to seeing his stupid face after this. Plus, Changbin did tell me that you have permission to yell at Hyunjin if you wanna get that out the way.”

You let out a small chuckle, unsurprised to hear that Changbin said such a thing, “I’m not going to yell at him, but I appreciate the offer. I don’t know, I’m still really worked up from the whole thing.”

“Give yourself time, you can let me know in the morning how you’re feeling and we can go from there, okay?” Chan asks, the gentle tone of his voice bringing you a sense of comfort. 

“Okay, I’ll do that. Thanks Chan.”

“Of course, take care, Y/N.”

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The next morning rolled by rather quickly and while it would’ve been a lovely day to stay in bed, your stubbornness caused you to find yourself walking to your third date of the week. You were still terribly upset at Hyunjin and forgiveness was not in the cards at this point, yet you had other pressing matters that did not allow you to wallow up in hatred and resentment for him. You had to set your feelings aside for a moment in order to make some sort of progress on this current acting project, as you were way too excited for how the final product would turn out and truly believed in the success of the film.

Although, you didn’t have high hopes for today, as you expected it to be a similar outcome to your previous dates. Today’s day was Chan’s idea, which was attending a local farmer’s market in your area that provided all sorts of family-owned shops to look through, including a variety of food to choose from. It was a bit last minute, but Chan knew your love for these small events, so he hoped this would bring you some joy, but also give you the opportunity to wander off from Hyunjin if needed, while also giving you both the chance to talk about something. 

You were approaching the entrance to the park it was being hosted at, checking the time on your phone relieved to know you were on time. Honestly, while Hyunjin would probably be late once again, you didn’t mind the chance to enjoy bits of the market alone, especially on such a sunny day during these winter months. However, you were completely stunned to find Hyunjin waiting by the entrance as well, nonetheless waiting five minutes earlier than the time Chan had told you. He stood there awkwardly, both hands in the pockets of his coat as he bounced on the balls of his feet nervously, his eyes widening when his gaze finally lands on you.

You approach him with caution and a raised eyebrow, not completely believing the sight before you, “I didn’t expect you to be here so early,” you state curtly, trying your best to remain civil and cordial despite yesterday’s events.

“Well,” he stammered, his fingers jittering in his pockets, “I think I owe you an apology, and I thought showing up on time for once was one way to show that I am being genuine.”

“An apology?” you question, your ears not believing his words.

He sighs nervously, brushing a hand through his hair, “I have… realized I was entirely wrong about the situation, and I am truly sorry for that and for treating you so horribly the past two years we’ve known each other.” You wear an unconvinced expression, unsure what could’ve caused him to have a change of heart overnight, especially since he was just in deep denial the day before. He continues his statement after picking up on your apprehension, “I ended up reaching out to director Han about the situation and he… he told me how much you vouched for me when he spoke to you.”

You nod your head as you take in his words, “I see, well, I’m glad you’ve come to that realization and I accept your apology,” a hopeful look appears on his face, “But, I do need time before I can forgive you because the way you’ve treated me has really hurt me. And the fact that you thought I’d ever do that to you hurt me a lot too.”

His expression falters, but he offers an understanding smile, “I completely understand, I honestly do not even deserve your kindness right now, so thank you for being kind about this.”

You return his smile with a tightlipped one, still not entirely believing the sudden change in him, but you couldn’t lie, it did feel a bit nice to see him so timid and meek, and hearing an apology come from him did help loosen the knot of rage that laid dormant in your stomach. “Well,” you clear your throat awkwardly, trying to find a way to continue the day, “Do you want to head in?”

“Sure, lead the way,” he responds, his hands returning to his coat pockets as he anxiously trailed behind you. Eye bags hung on his face, indicating the restless night he had suffered due to the guilt he had been digesting since his phone call with the director. Hyunjin felt horrible after the revelation he had, feeling nothing but the heavy, deep seated weight of anxiety and guilt resting atop his chest. Even the sight of you made the feeling worse, facing the reality of how his actions have affected you all this time was a whole new hurdle he had to learn to conquer. The least he could do was try to be as kind as he could be from here on out, and brace himself for whatever angry slurry of curses you had for him, but how could Hyunjin forget? 

The volatile version of you he had become used to these past two years was not who you truly were, but something he provoked out of you through his incessant insults and stale attitude. In reality, you were an extremely kind and patient person outside of the context of your relationship with him, and your reaction to his apology was evidence of that. He couldn’t help it, he felt like such an idiot for thinking you, of all people, would have ever sabotaged an important role for him, and he only further deluded himself in that belief by pushing you to the point of petty toxicity. 

The best he could do was remain quiet as he followed your course through the various stalls, the shame only intensifying when he would witness your eyes widen with joy whenever you found an item that interested you, and how you even took the time to converse with each stall owner about their products. The genuinity in your nature was something he couldn’t believe he had denied for so long, disillusioned himself so far to have forgotten it. All for what? Because he couldn’t accept his own failures, or face the daunting insecurities about his talents that he held so closely to his heart? Perhaps it was your self-assuredness that caused a hint of jealousy to brew into this mess he had concocted today, your very confidence that struck a chord of envy within him. He didn’t quite understand what led him to act in such a manner, he could only guess why he was the way he was, but all he knew was that he owed you a lifetime of favors.

At the moment, he stood uncomfortably by your side as he watched you peruse through a few crocheted trinkets a stall had, afraid to disrupt the bits of peace you could’ve had with him tagging along. In all honesty, to an outsider, he probably looks like a child who got dragged along with his parents on a day out. You sigh as you place the trinket down, turning your head to catch his eyes darting around nervously, “Hyunjin,” you speak. He startles upon hearing his name, not expecting you to ever pay him any mind today. “I get this is awkward, but you can loosen up a bit. I don’t bite,” you chide with a hint of playfulness in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

He lets out a strained exhale, acknowledging your words, “You’re right, I just don’t want to make you feel weird or uncomfortable,” he confesses.

“Well, I think staying quiet doesn’t help that cause much, does it?” you ask rhetorically before adding on, “It’s okay. Have you seen anything you like from any of the stalls? I really like what this one has,” you muse, a gentle smile taking your features as you hold up a small crocheted keychain of a  jellyfish with a wobbly smile on it, “He’s kinda silly looking, I think I might take him home with me.”

Hyunjin lets out an airy chuckle, his shoulders relaxing a tad, “He definitely is funny looking,” he replies, “Ah, I don’t know. There’s so much here, this is my first time going to something like this.”

“Oh, this is your first time? You’ve never been to the farmer’s market ever?”

“Nope, never been, but this is nice. It’s a lot better than I imagined.”

“You’ve been missing out, I love going to these. I try to go every now and then whenever I’m free,” you took out your wallet, handing the vendor cash to pay for the keychain, “There’s always fun knick knacks here, and everyone is so sweet. You sure there’s nothing you wanna stop by before grabbing some food?”

His eyes scan the stalls surrounding you both, but you notice them lingering at a small jewelry stall that sold handcrafted rings, ones that definitely fit his aesthetic. “Come on,” you motion him to follow you to the stand, “Maybe you’ll see something you’ll like.” He follows behind you, still in a timorous manner, but you could see the way his eyes brighten once he realizes where you were dragging him off to. Although you were far from friends, it didn’t mean you weren’t aware of how particular he could be when it came to fashion, and you wanted him to at least get something out of today after suffering intense awkwardness. 

It was now your turn to watch Hyunjin look through the assortment of jewelry the owner had laid out and of course, he was gravitating towards the silver rings, each with their own intricate designs that demonstrated the amount of artistry and talent the owner held. He looks overwhelmed with the amount of choices before him, indecisive as he holds two different rings in his hands, modeling each to figure out which one he liked best. “Why not just get both of them?” you ask.

“Both?” he ponders on the suggestion, “I guess I could do that.”

“Or,” you start, picking up a ring that you thought would suit his taste, “get this one instead,” you hand him the ring, a knowing smile on your face.

His mouth fell in surprise at it, slipping it on his finger as his eyes marvelled, “Wow, this one is so nice,” he mumbles while now placing the two previous rings away, “How did you know I’d like this one?”

You shrug nonchalantly, turning away from him, “You know, we were friends once,?” you remind him, “Just get it, find me by the food stands once you pay for it.”

He stays in his place as he watches you walk away, once more left speechless by your kindness as he begins to wonder how you were able to treat him as such. The guilt that made its home in his stomach began to rumble, the bitter taste of it overpowering his sense as he comes to terms with just how wrong he was all this time, and how awful he had been to someone as gentle as you.

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The day had come to an end, and surprisingly the latter half went better than either of you could have expected. In a way, it was like time hadn’t passed as you both chatted effortlessly over food from whatever food truck caught each of your attentions. You both caught up on what you missed in each other’s lives during your heated rivalry, and somehow, every part of the conversation felt natural, nothing felt out of place and it was almost as if the past two years didn’t exist.

It was incredibly unsettling for you, and you started to feel a bit conflicted on where your anger lied with the boy as the time you spent softened your heart. Although, you knew you couldn’t allow him back into your life that easily, as his behavior deserves some sort of consequences, so you decided you couldn’t allow yourself to surrender that easily. Not all because you found yourself missing the friendship you once had with him, that wasn’t a good enough reason to overlook his actions. You cursed yourself silently as you arrived home, yet there was a small voice in the back of your mind that tried to convince you that perhaps it was best to let this happen in the name of the acting project you were both on. 

No, no, you remind yourself, he definitely doesn’t deserve your forgiveness or trust that easily.

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taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures taglist cut off at 20 people :)

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[riofann]

2. tempestuous

Authors Note: I am trying something new. I like this story line please give me your feedback. Only reposts and likes please don't steal my work. XOXO Rose

Tempestuous: characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion.

Previous Chapter

Friday August 2, 2019

It's not long before you see him again this time he pops up at your bar

“Long time no see” you joke as you place the burger and wings and fries in front of him 

“Have a seat” he motions with his head

You slide into the other side and keep a straight face 

“I need a favor” he speaks before taking a fry into his mouth 

“I'm out of favors”

He smirks “I think you got a few left”

“I don't” and you were being honest even with small talk you still didn't trust him as you did in the past 

“Well it's a small favor” 

“I'm at capacity”

He sighs “Y/N”

“Christopher” 

He looks at you contemplating what he wanted to say next you both knew there wasn't a way out of doing this favor, you were just prolonging the inevitable 

“What did Alejandro say to you?” 

“What?” the question shocked you.  You expected the usual ‘stash this (drugs) need this(money) hold this (weapon)’. He sighs and straightens up looking at you “The ball was almost a month ago” you comment 

He shrugs “Well I've been curious”

You roll your eyes “nothing”

“Did you meet with him?”

“You would know I'm sure you have spies around town”

“Y/N”

“Christopher” 

He sighs “Okay so what did he say to you at the party?”

“Nothing” you didn't know what the consequences were for revealing your conversation 

He remains silent waiting. You sigh “he said that he knew what you did to me” Rio shifts on his seat. “And because of that I learned the true nature of the Serraño family. That you will put money above everything else.” You shrug 

He doesn't say anything just looks at you

It makes you nervous so instead you grab the basket of fries and start nibbling on a fry

“What else?” 

“Nothing” 

“He didn't offer you anything?” 

You shake your head “Nope”  emphasizing the P

He knew you were lying, you knew he knew you were lying but you weren't going to tell him. While one statement could be  considered facts the other was inflammatory and you weren't going to confirm nor deny anything that would have you getting caught in the crossfire 

He nodded and in return you pushed his fries back to him “Anything else?” 

“Jalapeño ranch speciality of the house”

“Oh that's right, I'll have someone bring it over” 

Tuesday August 13, 2019 

You hear rumbling at your front door and yank it open with gun at hand ready to face whomever was at your door at 3:03AM  

“Rio” you call his name, annoyed and relieved at the same time

“Heyyy” he greets, he looks like he got into a bad fight, there’s blood all over his face and hands 

“You look like shit” you comment

He scoffs and walks past you “Come right in!” You say sarcastically before closing the door 

“I need more money” he says before plopping down on your couch

You roll your eyes, this was becoming a routine now “how much?” 

He adjusts holding his side “All you got”

“I got 5 million”

“More than enough” 

“Okayyy” You return with the bag and hand it to him. He grimaces, reaching for it “What happened?”  (why the fuck did you ask him that you scold yourself)

He stands up and strains holding onto his side “Nothing you need to worry about” 

“Well your blood is dripping on my clean couch and carpet” you forcefully move him off of it. He looks down and smirks

And your leaving a trail of blood he follows your hand “Let me see” you offer 

He shakes his head “Don't worry about it”

“You won't make it far if I don't” you look at the blood pooling by his feet. You don't give him time to respond, instead you make him sit on the dining table chair. 

You walk away and grab the first aid kit 

As soon as he sees it he stands up “I don't need that”

“You do plus what's an additional 30 minutes? it won't take long” you push him down by the shoulders  

He gives up huffing along the way “I'm sitting, I'm sitting” 

You work quick cleaning the cuts on his face before moving to his abdomen

“Whoever you made angry let's hope their dead, the wound is deep you need stitches, I did the best I could but  you'll have to see a doctor” 

He nods and stands up and walks past you this time not giving you the option to protest you watch silently as he walks out the door 

While you clean up the blood he left you berate yourself for even treating his wounds 

(You should have let him bleed to death bitch , what's wrong with you?!) 

Saturday August 31, 2019

Speak of the devil and he appears. 

“Hey Y/N, there's someone here to see you” Grace your manager tells you 

You were busy in your office manipulating the books when she walked in “Who is it?” “I don’t know some guy he was like ‘I would like to speak to your manager’ ” she mocks

You make a face “Is it the guy with a low cut fade (Rio)?” 

She shakes her head “Nope”

“Regular?” She shakes her head again “Nope never seen him before” 

“How does he look?” 

“Long greasy long hair, gaudy jewelry” 

Your stomach drops, only one person fits that description that you knew of and it had to be Alejandro “Thick accent?” 

“YES!” 

You smile at her “Thanks tell him I will be out shortly” “Will do boss!” 

“Thanks Gracie” 

You review the cameras to see who he came with, 2 other men. They sat on a table facing the front door. 

You make sure to make note of where you left off before you exit your office. 

“Hey, is the food for table 9 ready?” you ask your lead cook

He looks at the ticket “Uhhhh almost done boss!” he confirms 

“Okay let me know when it's done I will take it out” you say as 

“Got it!” 

You help out your staff with other tasks like preparing dessert or grabbing things from the fridge or rinsing dishes before they get into the dishwasher. 

“Alejandro, nice to see you again” you say as you put the food on the table “Ahhh there she is the lovely Y/N!” he gets up and gives you a hug and cheek kisses before sitting down 

“Wow such a greeting” you comment 

He grins at you “Show of good faith cariño” 

You smile back “I heard you would like to speak to me?” 

“Yes!” you look to the other men as they shuffle around on the table giving you space  “My apologies senorita, these are my associates Manuel and Carlos”

“Nice to meet you” you greet them “Senorita, please sit” he says pulling out your chair 

“Sure let me grab some water” You walk away to gather your nerves before returning “Yes how can I help you Alejandro?” 

“¿Sabes español?” “Poco” you motion a pinch with your fingers 

“Ah okay  ¿Has pensado en mi propuesta? (Have you thought about my proposition?)” 

“A little, but we haven’t really discussed after plus I’ve been busy” 

“Serraño Family always keeping you busy” he makes a whip noise as a joke

“Ha ha ha” You say sarcastically 

“Disculpe Senorita, I left my message on your front door” You nod “Yes the necklace I got it” he left it hanging on the handle and you could have shit yourself at that moment when you saw it.

“It's yours by the way” he mentions

“Ohhh thank you, how kind?” you didn’t want to keep anything as a gift, they were never just gifts anyway. 

He takes a bite of his food “So what do you think?” 

“I don’t know, what would my cut be?” He laughs “right to the point” “De Verdad! I’m sure thats what youre thinking about too, how much I can do for you” you counter “Hmmm” He looks to the ceiling pretending to think before looking back at you “how much are the Serraño family giving you? Let me guess these guys are cheap” he turns to face his men “¿Que piensan? (What do you think?)” 

“Hmm 10%” Carlos responds 

“Viente por ciento (20%)”

Alejandro turns to you “¿Es verdad?” 

You take a sip of water “I can’t tell you that. What are you going to offer?” 

“Because I know these guys, in good faith I will offer 30 and up!” 

“What is ‘and up’ ?” 

He shrugs “the more you do the more you earn” he states matter of factly  

“And what do you expect me to....” Your eyes dart towards the door where you see Rio and Mick walk in. He pushes his hoodie back and looks around the restaurant before he spots you, there's no wave, no smile straight face, Mick also shares the same blank expression. 

You look down at your watch to get the time, he was here earlier than normal. His usual time was after the sun sets.  No he wasn’t due to show up today, and no you didn’t have anything to discuss, so the only option is that he either had a spy in your staff or he had someone constantly watching the bar. It would make sense his money is in the bar itself. You take a deep breath in “What do you expect from me?” 

“Los hombres están aquí (the men are here)” Carlos comments, causing Alejandro and Manuel to turn around and see Rio. Alejandro picks up his drink along with the rest and toast to Rio who didn’t even so much acknowledge just blank face staring at you. 

Alejandro turns to face you “Boyfriend is here” You roll your eyes “He is not my boyfriend, what do you expect from me?” you wanted him to get to the point, your anxiety was already reaching its peak and you can’t stop bouncing your leg. 

He chuckles “Your loyalty senorita and your partnership that is all,” he places a hand on his heart “you will be part of the Guerrero family and we take care of each other, you know what that means right?” 

“War?” you guess 

He smiles “Close pero we are a family of warriors” 

“Oh” you giggle nervously “Can I think about it?” 

He scoffs “What is there to think about senorita?” he turns to look at Rio then back at you “¿Estás preocupado por tu novio? (you’re worried about your boyfriend?)” You glare at him “he is not my boyfriend!” He finishes his meal and you all sit silently as the other men finish “We will take care of the Serraño family, they are no match for the Guerrero family” You didn’t trust him, something about his offer didn’t seem genuine, you knew how this worked there’s no way you could just switch sides without there being a blood bath.

You refrain from answering and just smile at him “Well I have given you a lot to think about cariño I will be in touch” With that he pays way over the amount that's required for the bill and he and his men get up to leave

You get up to follow them out the door “I must speak to your boyfriend” he sings as he turns to look at you 

“Alejandro” you warn not knowing what could come from this “No cariño I must pay my respects to the representative of the Serraño family” he walks over to Rio head held high chest pumped out “Senor Cristobal! Que tal mi amigo?! (how are you my friend?!)” he asks boisterous you’re sure the entire restaurant heard. You look around and see eyes looking at you. He grabs Rio’s hands and shakes vigorously almost cartoonishly it almost makes you laugh how he’s essentially shaking Rio’s body. 

Rio nods shaking his hand “Alejandro” “We were just paying Senorita Y/N a visit you know top bar in Detroit 3 years in a row now, we had to give it a try” he smiles at Rio then at you 

You smile nervously standing to the side, Rio glances at you before returning his attention to Alejandro 

“Hasta luego amigo” Rio nods and watches as he leaves. You stand by the booth watching the door you want to make sure they leave but the glare Rio is giving you makes you stay put. 

Grace walks up to you distracting you “Oh Rio! You’re here so nice to see you again, Hi Mick!” Grace greets

“Whats up? Gracie” he smiles at Grace it's scary how quick he can mask his mood 

“The usual?” she asks “Actually I want the house special” “Ooh doing something different today, you guys are early today huh Y/N” He chuckles “We got things to do”

“Busy men! Mick?” “Usual” he responds 

She takes the order on the tablet “Coming right up! Y/N Need anything get you some fries?” 

“No” you give her a smile even though you stood tense “I’m good” 

“Great I’ll get the drinks then I’ll be back” 

When she walks away Mick exists the booth for you to slide in “I'm not sitting inside” Rio glares at you “take it or leave it or we can both stand here looking like idiots. Plus I can’t outrun a bullet so there’s no point” 

He looks around quickly “Lower your voice” he scolds he looks at Mick and motions for him to slide back in

You sit silently as he is busy held up with his phone “Thought you said you haven’t met with Alejandro” he comments without looking at you You take a sip of water “I haven’t” 

“Hmmm” he hums “so what is he doing here Y/N?” You shrug “Your guess is as good as mine, it was a shock to me too” 

He nods and looks around “what did he say to you?” “Why don’t you ask him?” you argue He looks you in the eye “I’m not in the mood for games Y/N” You sigh “Neither am I since the Guerrero and Serraño family know so much about each other. Why not just talk to each other?” He takes a deep breath and sits up straight “Y/N” 

“Rio” 

Mick pulls out his gun, you roll your eyes “I wish you would actually pull the trigger because its losing its meaning” 

“Tell me what he said to you” He commands

“He offered me 30% and up”

“And?” “And I said I wanted to think about it” He chuckles smugly “You know what that means for you?” You shake your head “no and I haven’t thought about it I literally was just doing the same thing I am doing for you, talking to you till you leave” you smile sarcastically 

He smirks at that comment “30% sounds good yea?” He asks Mick

Mick chuckles 

“What's funny?” He goes back to texting “Looked into his portfolio? What he can do? What he does?” 

“No, but I didn’t look into yours either yet here we are” Grace shows up with the food “Okaayyy I have the house special the Big Island Burger with Plantain fries for Rio,  for Mick wings and fries, jalapeno house ranch and your beers! Need anything else?” she asks

He smiles at her “No we’re good” 

“Okay let me know if you need anything!” 

“Thanks Gracie” 

You sit silently as both Mick and Rio eat knowing if you get up to leave you were asking for more problems 

He clears his throat taking a sip of beer “His 30% equates to 5% of your current cut” he reveals

“And how do you know that?” You think Rio is lying to you to persuade you to not leave He takes a bite of the burger “I know everything that affects my business, so if you wanna go to him and do the same amount of work for less than a quarter of what you’re getting from me be my guest” You roll your eyes “I would like to not be in the middle of this” He smirks at you “Seems like we are beyond that aren’t we darling” You sigh “I didn’t ask for this Rio” “No but you also weren’t honest with me either” “I have been honest, this is the first time I have seen him after the ball!” 

He sits up straight “Why aint you tell me he stopped by today? Why did I have to come to see it for myself?” “Why do you have spies watching me?” you counter “Why aint you tell me about the necklace?” You shift uncomfortably “Exactly, see for this thing to work I  gotta trust you” 

“Like you understand what trust means” you say cynically 

He chuckles “I do and you better pick up an encyclopedia and refresh your memory soon darling” 

You huff and pick up your phone to text your mother back there was no winning either way “is there anything else you want?” you ask 

He shakes his head “Nah maybe another beer and napkins” That was your cue to leave he was done with you. 

Authors Note: Please leave your feedback, again please don't steal. Only repost, like, or give credit.

XOXO Rose

Taglist:

@katymae12344, @yinmaggiorebass

[ghostbite0]

How did everyone else find out about the baby situation? Did the blood demon art (...I'm assuming that's what it was; on second thought I can't remember if you specifically said that's what happened) take a while to set in and they were already back at HQ, or did the kakushi find them and bring them back?

Also what were the other hashira's initial reactions?

thats still to be determined-- i have yet to really iron that part out. i was thinking the three had JUST returned from their mission when the blood demon art took effect

Alternatively, the three are hit with the blood demon art, and Sanemi and Giyuu's crows go to get help. Since Gyomei is closeby, he is the first to find the three. After reeling over these three tiny babies, he takes them back to the headquarters, where they inevitably face the rest of the Hashira!

what were their reactions...? great question!

Hashira Reactions:

Shinobu: she couldn't help but giggle at their situation, but she quickly looked them over and ensured they were healthy physically. after they found some fitting clothes, she began to endlessly tease the boys-- particularly Giyuu, because, of course, she would tease Giyuu. she kept joking about how cute they were and how they should leave them like that, which was followed by Sanemi trying to throw something at her but failing miserably. Giyuu reluctantly lets her hold him, and then it turns into Giyuu not letting anyone aside from his closest friend, except for Gyomei. Gyomei's wonderful. Rengoku, too.

Tengen: similarly, Tengen cracked up. at first he was more confused and taken aback than anything, but once he knew for certain they were okay, he began joking around alongside Shinobu. he vocally brainstormed what kind of outfits to put them in, resulting in all three babies shrieking/whining at him. he claims Sanemi right off the bat and learns the baby is super ticklish. He spends a good chunk of the interaction tickling the little guy whenever Sanemi gets frustrated or angry. at one point, Sanemi pulled on his hair, so he tickled Sanemi nonstop until the baby could babble strings of reluctant apologies

Gyomei: he's really conflicted due to his backstory revolving young children, but his caregiver instincts take over, and he fawns over them. being the one to find the babies, he's the first to hold and comfort them, so of course, being as paternal as he is, he gets attached. once he took them back to the other Hashira and explained the situation, Shinobu began checking their vitals and what not, and he would continuously pipe up to ask how they were. this was soon followed by him bringing up how they needed to get the babies fed and taken care of-- which, again, had all three in distress/embarrassed

Rengoku: His big brother instincts go CRAZY. Similar to Gyomei, he automatically begins fussing over them and asking a lot of questions to make sure they're alright—though Rengoku asks the babies directly: "Are you okay?" "How old are you?" "Which demon did this to you?" "Are you hungry?" "What kind of food do you guys eat?" "Or are you still nursing?"... that sort of thing!

Muichiro: oh he thinks the situation is hilarious. he's completely monotone and stoic during the first encounter, but the second he's with the three babies, he's teasing them. he talks to the babies as normal and will just calmly ask, "Do you need a nap?" and says things like, "You're fussing an awful lot. Maybe you need a bottle."

he's basically a little shit. however, he does ease up later when he realizes Obanai, in particular, is having a really hard time, and his soft spot for him becomes evident. Obanai always looked out for him, so he wants to look out for Obanai! he becomes his main target in the teasing but is also obviously Muichiro's favorite. Muichiro will ruthlessly tease Sanemi, though. he thinks its funny

Mitsuri: she was in TEARS the second she saw the babies, and Tengen had to hold her back from rushing over and scooping them up. she thinks they're adorable and is already scheming with Tengen on how to dress them up, and what to buy them, and what not! once she was given the okay, she darted over and fussed over the three like they were actual babies-- only to be mortified when she was informed they all maintained their memories. she was flustered for a while, but once Obanai began to get really distressed, she jumped back into action. she would end up cradling him and kissing his little head until he calmed down, and of course, everyone just gave them knowing stares. Obanai was very embarrassed. Mitsuri interpreted this as Obanai getting fussy again, so she just returned to snuggling him.

feel free to ask more questions or send in hcs and what not! i love this au oh so very much...

[turtlecleric]

doomsday

Bayverse, angst, hurt/no comfort

CW: reference to death of a parent/grief

-

You’re almost finished getting ready when you hear someone clear their throat behind you. Whirling around, momentary panic makes your pulse spike before you recognize Leo standing in the doorway to your bedroom.

You laugh, partly at yourself for startling so easily and partly in relief that it’s him, before rushing over to him, shoving (ineffectually) at his plastron for good measure. In your defense, he hadn’t said he was going to escort you. Not that you’re complaining; seeing your boyfriend always makes you smile, even when he’s being a sneaky asshole.

“You scared me, you big jerk!”

This is the part where he smiles. Apologizes. Pulls you into his arms and makes some smartass remark about how you should really pay more attention to your surroundings.

“...Sorry.”

He’s not smiling. Why isn’t he smiling?

“I was just about to head to the lair. I’m not late, am I?” You check the time on your phone, but- but no. Even if you spent another 15 minutes fussing with your hair, you’d still have enough time to leave and make it to the lair on time for movie night. You look back up at Leo, waiting for an explanation, but he just stares at you. Silent.

“You okay, Blue?” You search his face, but you can’t read him like you normally can. His expression is something you’ve never seen; something steely. Distant. “Leo? What’s-”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

The words don’t register for a long, long moment. When they do, you wait for- you don’t know what. For him to say he’s kidding? For your alarm to go off, waking you up from a weirdly vivid nightmare? You don’t know. You don’t know anything, apparently. You thought he was happy.

You certainly were.

“What?”

His answer is immediate, just as firm as the first time. “This is over. You’re no longer welcome at the lair. Donnie has already deleted our numbers and any past conversations from your phone. We need to maintain our anonymity, so please don’t try to contact us again.”

Seconds stretch into little eternities as you try to push past the vice that’s abruptly closed around your throat, as you try to untangle the fishing line that seems to have wrapped itself around your lungs. A million conflicting thoughts ricochet around in your mind. This can’t be real. This was inevitable. This can’t be real, he would never do this. Why did you ever think he would stay with someone like you? He said he was in this for life. What did you do? What changed? How could he do this? How could you possibly blame him when it’s you? You’ve ruined this, somehow, and you want to ask him why, but - does it even matter? Of course it does. Of course it doesn’t. It’s you, you’re the problem. It’s always been you.

You unlock your phone, navigating with numb fingers. It’s true. Their contacts are gone. Over a year’s worth of messages, too. Gone. Like they never happened. You think back, trying to remember - too late, it’s too late, now - realizing it’s been a few days since you heard from any of them. It’s not like you talk every day, but- but you were busy with work, you didn’t- you didn’t even realize. No one has messaged you in days. You’d be able to catch up on movie night. On movie night, just like every other Friday, just like always, you’d thought. You’d thought.

How could you be so stupid?

A mess of emotions you can’t name. Heavy. Sharp. You can’t breathe. You’ve felt heartbreak before - was it always this painful? Has it been so long that you forgot how much it hurts? The floor is firm beneath your feet, but surely you’ve been sucked into the darkness of the Earth. Surely. But no, you’re still here. Your apartment hasn’t changed at all, the city still stands; it just feels like the world is ending. You’re fine. It’s fine. You shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable. What did you expect? It’s you. It’s always been you.

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. You look back up at him, but his form quickly blurs along with the rest of your bedroom. He always hated seeing you cry, but when you blink the tears away his expression hasn’t changed at all. Was that a lie? You don’t know.

All the while he just stares at you. Patient, and silent, and clinical. Shouldn’t he be upset, too? At least a little? How long has he been planning this? It’s been days since any of them reached out, you remember. How long have their contacts been missing? Is it because you didn’t reach out?

“Leo.” Breathe. Breathe. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry-”

“You didn’t do anything. I’m just not in love with you,” he says evenly. Like he’s pointing out a fact. The sky is blue. You’re running low on detergent. I don’t love you. I never did. “I don’t want to waste your time, and, frankly, I don’t want to waste mine, either. I’m sorry, I know this is difficult, but I think it’s best if we just end it now before we get too attached.”

Too attached? Is that what you are? It must be. It must be.

He doesn’t sound sorry.

You manage to nod, wiping at your eyes. You’re not sure why you bother; the tears just keep coming. Another little eternity, and then he’s turning to go. Of course. He’s a busy guy. Why would he stay? Why would he waste his time watching you fall apart over something that obviously isn’t a big deal? Too attached. You must be. It’s you. It’s always been you.

He’s turning to go, and you- you’ll never see him again. Is this what burning alive feels like? You can’t breathe past the fishing line. Stop him. No, don’t be pathetic. He was very clear. You should respect his wishes. Stop him.

You watch him open the window. Watch him grip the windowsill, about to disappear for the last time.

“I would’ve married you,” you whisper.

He halts in his movement. A little eternity. His hands are still gripping the windowsill. “I know.”

Then he’s gone. And you’re alone again.

-

He makes it no farther than the third rooftop before Raph appears, shoving him hard enough to make him stumble.

“I knew you were a dumbass, Leo, but I didn’t know you were this stupid! What the hell is wrong with you?”

Leo rights himself, glaring. God damn it, Donnie. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Go back in there and tell her the truth.”

“I did. Besides, this isn’t your concern. Don shouldn’t have even told you, it’s my business.”

Raph huffs a humorless laugh, shaking his head and pacing. “You’re so goddamn stupid,” he mutters before facing Leo again, gesturing broadly as he speaks. “And a liar. You’re in love with that girl, and by some fucking miracle she’s also in love with you. You’re throwing that away? For what?!”

“I told you: this isn’t. Your. Concern. Go home, Raph. That’s a direct order.”

He expects Raph to bristle at that, but… he doesn’t. The fight visibly drains from him instead, and when he speaks again his words are sharp in a different way. “He wouldn’t have wanted this. You know that.”

“Don’t.”

“Master Splinter was happy that you were happy. He loved her. And if he knew what you just did? How cruel you just were to that poor girl? He’d be-”

“Shut up, Raph,” Leo snarls, the careful composure falling away. Chipping paint. “You don’t speak for him, and you certainly don’t have the right to comment on my relationships.”

Again, Leo expects yelling, or a fist sent his way - he’s ready for it, welcomes it, even - but Raph just sighs. His voice is too quiet, Leo thinks, when he responds. “We miss him, too, Leo.”

Leo closes his eyes, trying to ignore the gaping maw in his chest, to breathe past the ache. It doesn’t work. It hasn’t worked. Not once.

When he opens his eyes again, Raph is still looking at him like he’s some fragile thing. He’s not. He’s not.

“Go home.” Leo doesn’t wait for a response, turning on his heel and running.

He keeps breathing.

-

Taglist: @thejudiciousneurotic @khayalli @luckycharms1701 @yorshie @justalotoffanfiction @mxalmighty @shakeyourtrees @thelaundrybitch @silverwatergalaxy

[romanticatheartt]

Do you remember how I said I won't be watching s3? Yes, I'm a lying liar through and through lol my sister said let's watch it and I love watching movies or TV shows with her, and tbh we had a good laugh😭💀

Okay so here are my thoughts:

First of all: KATE AND ANTHONY. Omg they're everything to me!! They were only in one episode but they made that episode theirs. I just love seeing them blissfully happy and living in their own bubble. I'm both sad and glad they were only in one episode. Because I wouldn't put it past the writers to give them some unnecessary drama and conflict. At the same time their screen time was so little... I suppose we can't have it all :')

Francesca. Omg I love her so much. I already loved her from the books but the show? God, she's so cute and beautiful. Hannah played her to perfection and I'm glad she's the new Francesca. Even when you read the books, that's how you imagine Fran's character. Both she and Kate have a special place in my heart.

John... my god John is here. And I'm already too attached to him. I can't- Listen, I know my heart will break when his time comes. The actor was such a good choice for his character and I was on the verge of crying whenever he appeared with Fran. She was always so happy to see him. I never thought two characters/actors could have this much chemistry while sitting in silence. GOD I LOVE THEM and I'm ready for heartbreak :D We still have no Michael but I'll keep hoping for him to appear because my god... Francesca's book is filled with angst I just hope when it's her turn, they do it justice<3

I actually enjoyed Eloise and Cressida. I never thought I'd say this but I did!! I know they made 180 changes about her character in the new season but I don't really care lol I just hope she works it out with Debling so at least she'll be free from her parents.

People keep saying they don't like Eloise this season but she's so much better than me. I would've been so much worse... The first thing I would've done was give Pen's name to the queen but she kept it this whole time and was actually worried about Pen... she was kind enough to a person who ruined her and her family, not once but twice.

There are too many side plots in this season. Like I don't want to be pathetic but we've been saying that since s2 and y'all called us delusional and said to be grateful because it was more than enough. But now that I see even Polin fans have a problem with this season makes me so happy and sad at the same time. Because when this happened to your favs, it's a real issue...

I love LD and QC friendship so much!! And QC & Brimsly. These friendships were more shaped since QC spin-off and I really enjoyed it.

It's obvious to me that they don't know what to do with Ben's plot lol. Because creating these unnecessary original characters is doing a disadvantage to the whole show. I really hope we see Sophie this season. 

Okay I've avoided the inevitable as much as I could lol so let's talk about the main couple:

They have no chemistry. I know some might not agree with me but there's no chemistry for me. It has always been like this since s1. At least I don't feel anything special between them. Nicola is a wonderful actor and is carrying the whole ship on her shoulders and I said what I said. 

Luke wasn't good at portraying Colin at all. He has no charisma and is trying too hard. I'm not talking about his character wanting to be something he's not but talking about the acting in general, so don't come for me with that argument. They really tried to make him like Anthony but failed miserably. Which is sad because even tho I haven't read their book, he in other books was absolutely my favorite side character. Me and my sister were laughing our asses off at some of his actings like sir... pls don't😭 I'm being super mean omg

The pacing of their relationship was weird. When he proposed to her I was so shocked like in episode 4? Already? Then I remembered in s1 we had the same situation but in s1 it felt right. It wasn't weird or felt too soon or too late, it was right. With Polin, everything felt out of order. I think they didn't want to focus much on building it up because they felt they already did in the past 2 seasons but it just felt off in the end. They weren't even together much on screen to feel like it's building up!! There was no arc or if it was, it was too subtle that if you blink you'll miss it.

The other problem with their plot was the similarity between s1 and s3. Simon was trying to help Daphne to find a husband and Colin is doing the same thing. Except s1 main trope was Fake Dating and s3 was Friends to Lover.

Which brings me to another reason why I didn't like s3. Friends to Lovers trope. Honestly, this is a me problem. I've never liked this trope at all. I really tried to change my mind about it, like reading books with this trope but most of the time I'm left unsatisfied or hating the book. Unfortunately, s3 was no different. This trope always comes off as unpassionate for me. Which I think it's the trope. Because it's supposed to be cute and subtle and I'm not sure it's really my thing. So I guess the major reason for my dislike of this season is the trope.

There were 2 fkn scenes of Colin participating in a threesome... That was so fkn bad like I can't believe this just happened. And one of them was after he kissed Penelope... I don't care that he didn't continue but... OUGH it gave the ick so bad, I didn't even watch it,  just fast-forwarded it.

That carriage scene was okay-ish? It didn't leave me breathless like the Kanthony scenes did. Tbh s2 left me in a shamble with how much emotions I felt with those two. But with s3, I had the exact opposite feeling toward the main couple.

Anyway, I think this season, revealing LW's identity was their priority which is why they weren't so focused on the romance (?) idk but I feel like part 2 won't be any different than part 1 and they're gonna throw some sex scenes to make it up for the romance lol

ps: I know I said s4 will be Benedict's and I still think it will be but if they decide to make it Francesca's? Oh, I wouldn't mind at all!! 

[cafelattaes]

death by a thousand cuts | njm

summary : in which you find yourself watching as jaemin gradually becomes out of reach; forcing you to confront the painful reality that your story is heading towards an inevitable end, even if you’re not ready to admit it.

pairing : jaemin x fem!reader

genre : college au, angst

word count : 2.3k

playlist : the last time, you’re losing me, sad beautiful tragic

in your dimly lit room, the blue light from your phone screen cast a cold glow on your face. your eyes kept going back to the last message you got from jaemin. you'd been staring at the same words for what felt like an eternity, as if they were mocking you. each repetition intensifying the sense of heartache and resignation you felt.

'i’ll be right back'

you let out a long, heavy sigh that carried all your disappointment and frustration. a whole week had passed in the blink of an eye, and his silence felt louder than ever. you were stuck in a cycle of waiting, hoping things would change with each passing moment.

jaemin’s words had become nothing more than empty promises. it wasn't the first time this had happened, but the disappointment still stung just as much. you glanced at the screen again, feeling a mix of sadness, anger, and tiredness. you were exhausted from always being the only one trying, always begging for a little effort and attention. it was wearing you down.

with a heavy heart, you set your phone down. you faced the hard truth that you needed to let go of the relationship. it wasn't making you happy anymore, and it was time to accept that.

what started as small hurts - like paper cuts on your heart - had already been turned into gashes. all the little things that bothered you, the ones he kept dismissing thinking they weren't important enough, had built up over time. now, they were boiling over, pushing you towards the end of something you once cared about.

you could feel yourself slowly falling apart, bit by bit. the relationship that once brought you joy was now the very thing causing your pain. as you sat there in the darkness, you realized it was time to put yourself first and let go of what was no longer good for you.

FIVE MONTHS AGO

'hey jaem, are you doing something right now? i miss you :('

‘i’m sorry, baby. i'm not done with our cases and research yet. we’re also studying for upcoming exams so i can't go’

‘oh, okay. no worries! make sure to get enough rest when you’re home.’

‘you too, love’

a familiar ache settled in your chest. you understood the difficult nature of dating a medical student, but it didn't make the loneliness any easier. this was the longest you and jaemin had gone without breaking up, and you were determined to make it work.

fighting the urge to let past grievances resurface, you swallowed your disappointment. voicing out your feelings would only add to jaemin's stress, and that was the last thing you wanted. you didn't want to burden him with your feelings or ignite conflicts during a time where his focus needed to be on his studies.

you busied yourself by scrolling through your phone and randomly navigating your friends' instagram stories. a post from jeno caught your eye - a group picture with jaemin. but your stomach twisted as you saw minjeong, smiling next to your boyfriend.

she was jaemin's childhood friend. the girl who had feelings for him even before you came into the picture. your mind raced with unwelcome thoughts. what if her presence stirred up old feelings? what if it made things more complicated?

you tossed your phone aside, desperate to shake off the sinking feeling. you didn't want to be jealous of her, but it was hard not to be. her confession to jaemin before you got together still haunted you. despite his reassurances and clear boundaries, a nagging doubt remained.

she was a constant in jaemin's life being one of his closest friends. you had to accept that, even if it bothered you. there was nothing you could do to change their history or their friendship. as you lay there, you tried to push away thoughts of jaemin and minjeong together.

after a long day of immersing yourself in your studies, you felt your phone buzz with a message from jaemin.

‘hey! are you free today? let’s go on a date :) i miss you a lot.’

‘sorry, im too tired to go out these days. i just want to rest after spending so much time studying’

‘oh no baby :( it’s fine. do you want anything? we can just stay and relax at your place instead. but only if you want to’

‘okay’

an hour later, your doorbell rang. jaemin stood there, a warm smile on his face and your favorite snacks in his hands. as you took them from him, he made himself at home. while you were preparing the food, jaemin approached from behind, wrapping his arms around you and planting a soft kiss on your head. he rested his chin on your shoulder, his familiar scent enveloping you.

"we don't see each other a lot these days. i missed you so much," he murmured.

your heart clenched, a sudden wave of longing and sadness washing over you. you missed him too, more than you cared to admit. since getting back together, you'd been bottling up your thoughts, afraid of triggering another breakup. the past few months had been a struggle, leaving you feeling fragile, as if the slightest nudge might shatter your composure.

“i missed you too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

jaemin wasn't oblivious. after a few years of being together, he could sense when something was off. he noticed your growing distance and your brief and detached responses to his messages. the disconnect was palpable, yet, he too was hesitant to address it. he chose to ignore the underlying issues, preferring to maintain a facade of normalcy rather than risk a conversation that could lead to losing you again.

the thought of another breakup being the final one sent a sharp pain through his chest. he tightened his embrace ever so slightly, as if trying to hold onto this moment, onto you, for as long as he could.

as you stood there in his arms, a heavy silence hung between you. both of you were acutely aware of the unspoken words and suppressed emotions, yet neither dared to break the fragile peace. the weight of your shared history, the fear of another painful separation, and the hope for a better future all mingled in the quiet kitchen, leaving you both longing for a connection that seemed just out of reach.

THREE MONTHS AGO

you were drifting off to sleep when your phone's sudden ring jolted you awake. noticing it was a call from mark, you answered.

‘hey, y/n. sorry to bother you. can you pick jaemin up?’

‘where?’

‘we’re at a bar. i’ll text you the address. i can’t drive everyone home since i also had a few drinks. hope you don’t mind.’

‘yeah, it’s fine. i’ll be on my way.’

‘thanks y/n.’

you left your place once you received the address from mark. you arrived at the bar shortly after, scanning for familiar faces. you spotted mark, struggling to detach himself from haechan's clingy embrace.

“hey," you called out.

“oh, y/n, you’re here.” jeno waved at you. “jaemin, your girlfriend’s here.” jeno shook him roughly, prompting him to get up.

“y/n, did you know? jaemin said that you’ve been-“ haechan was cut off by mark’s swift slap on his back.

“you guys should go," mark advised. "jaemin is completely drunk. he nearly passed out in the bathroom.”

“alright, we’re off. you guys take care on your way home.” you said, supporting jaemin as you left.

the cool night air hit you as you hailed a cab. after some effort, you managed to get jaemin home and settled on your couch. you removed his shoes and brought a damp towel and water.

“jaemin, do you need anything?” you asked softly, wiping his face. he remained silent as you helped him into a more comfortable position.

“you’ve been spending a lot of time with eric,” he said unexpectedly. your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you’d only seen the guy twice this week for some club related-activities.

before you could respond, jaemin continued, his words slightly slutted. “stop seeing him, or he might get the wrong idea.”

oh.

jaemin had mentioned before that he didn't like eric, misinterpreting your friend's comforting presence during your breakups as romantic interest. despite eric's past hints of affection, he had always respected your boundaries. all your friends knew jaemin was your world, even when you were supposed to be forgetting him.

“we’ll talk about that when you’re sober. you need rest now.” you said, standing to get a pillow and blanket. but jaemin grabbed your wrist, pulling you back.

“you’ve changed,” he began. "you used to make time for me, no matter how busy we both were. but now... your love feels different." he paused, swallowing hard. "i tried to get your attention, you know? even ignored you on purpose sometimes. but you don't react. you don't get mad anymore."

jaemin's eyes met yours. "are you getting sick of me? of us?"

his confession hit you like a wave, leaving you breathless. it was the first time jaemin addressed your situation honestly. you never realized he was intentionally ignoring you. up until now, you'd always been the one to initiate difficult conversations, baring your soul only to feel unheard days later. eventually, you stopped trying, leading to your last breakup.

when jaemin asked to reconcile, you couldn't bring yourself to refuse, just like all the times before. despite the emotional turmoil, being with him felt infinitely better than being without him. but now, uncertainty weighed heavily on your heart.

"i'm just... i'm so tired, jaemin. it feels like i'm the only one who's actually trying," you said, tears welling up your eyes. "you say that you love me, but where's the proof? i can't remember the last time you made an effort for us. do you even love me the same way you used to?"

you continued, your voice breaking. "you have no idea how much i've been holding back. there are days i want to scream at you and beg you to put me first. you always have time for your friends, but what about me? i get that you're busy most of the time but it feels unfair. i would drop everything for you in a heartbeat."

you wiped your eyes roughly, your frustration palpable. "i've lost count of how many times you've been 'too busy' for me, only to find out you were out with your friends. i'm not asking to be your whole world, but am i even still a part of it?"

"y/n, i..." his voice cracked. "i didn't know you felt that way. i never meant to-"

"but that's just it," you interrupted, voice softening with hurt. "you didn't know because you stopped paying attention. we got too comfortable. we no longer care if we hurt each other's feelings."

jaemin's glassy eyes fixed on you, the weight of his mistakes sinking in even through his drunken haze. he had always played it safe, overlooking the signs and letting you suffer alone. now, he realized the extent of the damage he caused.

"i'm sorry," his voice hoarse. "i'm so sorry. i didn't realize... i've been such an idiot." he reached out for you, managing to take your hand and gently pulling you into his arms. he kissed your forehead, a silent plea for forgiveness. in that moment, he wished he could shelter you from every mistake he had ever made.

"i don't need you to apologize, jaemin. what i want is for us to go back to the way things were before." your words carried the weight of longing for the happiness that once defined your relationship.

but as you both sat there, the air was heavy with an unspoken truth. despite the closeness of your bodies, there was a distance that couldn't be ignored. you both knew that no matter what happened, you could never truly return to how things used to be.

PRESENT

three weeks passed since you last spoke with jaemin. despite the tears you shared that night he was drunk, nothing really changed. jaemin only became more cautious, and you wondered if he'd do anything to fix your relationship. you already shared your feelings, so the next move was his. but it seemed you both silently knew that things had gone too far to save.

you were stuck in a waiting game, each hoping the other would end things. part of you wanted jaemin to be the one to do it this time. he never fought to keep you before, and you were afraid that if you ended it, you might give in again if he tried to come back. you wanted him to make that final choice, to let you know it was really over. but deep down, a small part of you still hoped he might surprise you and fight for what was left of your love.

even when it came down to it, jaemin couldn't find the courage to end things. in your mind, you begged him not to leave things unsaid. after all you'd been though, how could he just walk away without a word?

as hours turned to days, days to weeks, and weeks to months, the harsh reality set in. you had to move on without getting closure on your story with jaemin. he never found the words to end things properly. instead, he took the easy way out, leaving you to deal with the pain alone. he left behind a heartbreak that time couldn't easily heal, forcing you to pick up the pieces by yourself.

in the end, you were left missing him, carrying the memory of what you had and what could have been. the empty space he left became a constant reminder of a love that faded away quietly, leaving you to face the future alone.