#like she cares about people's feelings she's an empath

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

There's no way you can convince me the writing for Eloise in part 2 of season 3 was good.

We're expected to believe that Eloise Bridgerton, who gets so upset about injustices to women, who cares deeply for her friends, would hear about Cressida's issues and be like "hmm yeah sucks to suck."

And people can't say it's because Eloise is only concerned with herself because we've seen her get so upset about the plight of other people, we've seen her going and engaging with conversations outside her circle, we've seen her empathizing with Theo and his circumstances, we've seen her trying to hunt down LW to help Pen back before she knew the truth.

JUST THIS SEASON we saw Eloise go to Cressida's house to check on her because she noticed that she was acting off. So you can't even tell me Eloise doesn't care about her. I feel like the writers are trying to gaslight the viewers in part 2 to thinking Eloise didn't ever care that much about Cressida when WE LITERALLY SAW THAT SHE DID. Cressida even says Eloise was a great friend to her.

Yeah, I understand that Eloise has a lot going on right now, and so to some extent, I could see her not being as present for Cressida as she needs. That happens. But the level to which they made Eloise act like she doesn't care is so insane and is clearly just to prop Pen up.

Eloise heard Cressida tell her about her circumstances so she should understand why she's doing what she's doing.

It just felt like such an insane 180 for Eloise to turn around and suddenly be like "Cressida is a viper" and "our friendship was falling apart anyway" and "I should never have trusted her," when the last thing we saw before part 2 was them BEING GOOD FRIENDS!! And when Cressida hadn't done anything bad, she just claimed to be LW RIGHT AFTER she had explained to Eloise how messed up her circumstances were and that she needed help getting out of them.

I get that the show was going to put Eloise and Pen back together because they have such a clear bias towards her character, but did they have to decimate Creloise in the process? Is Eloise not allowed to have multiple friendships?

Like, Pen can do all these terrible things and cry and be like "sorry about that" and it's fine El and her can be besties everyone will love her and forgive her. But Cressida was sometimes mean (and the show goes to lengths to show us how she became that way, even explicitly spelling it out with her mother's comments about how she raised her to believe in "every woman for herself" AND shows Cressida acknowledging her mistakes and showing true change and growth) and lies about being LW and she's dragged through the dirt, she's "the absolute worst," every single character says awful things about her while we see snippets of her in this dark awful house with her life falling apart and this is supposed to be something we root for?? Literally why. Why even make Cressida sympathetic if this is what you're going to do with her.

It feels so out of pocket for Eloise to be saying Cressida is soo horrible and etc. etc. when we SAW their friendship before. We saw Cressida taking in what Eloise was saying and making changes, we saw Cressida challenging Eloise's beliefs and making Eloise self-reflect. Eloise got a peek into how awful Cressida's home life was and into the kind of good person Cressida could be and that's just suddenly thrown out the window with such little support to back it up.

Even if Creloise just HAD to stop being friends, weren't there better ways of going about it? Couldn't they at least have waited till after the fake LW paper came out bashing the Bridgertons for Eloise to break off the friendship? Yes, that was Cressida's mom writing that, but Eloise wouldn't know that and that would more logically line up with Eloise's random coldness towards her.

Still, why exactly do they have to stop being friends? Why can't Eloise have different kinds of friendships, especially one like hers with Cressida that challenged her, one where they mutually helped each other become better people? I love that Eloise is going to go off on this adventure to Scotland and meet other people but could she not also have retained her friendship with Cressida??

I would have loved to see the Eloise I know and love in part 2 teaming up with Cressida to help her, scheming together, doing everything in her power to help her bestie because that's who she is. That's what we should have seen. Maybe it would take her a second to get there, since she was already wrapped up in the drama with her brother and Pen, but she wouldn't just completely brush off her friend. She would do something.

And I could go on about how messed up it was for the writers to make it pretty clear how bad things have become for Cressida and then make her face the most consequences ever, while Pen gets to ride off into the sunset all happily ever after despite doing things 1000x worse than anything Cressida ever did. I'm actually disgusted.

[an-abyss-of-stars]

More Rhaemond babies!!

Baby #4

The Many Faces Of:

Valaena Targaryen

Valaena is the fourth born child of Rhaena and Aemond (I'm actually not sure what chapter she'll be joining us, I'm thinking this fic might get bumped up from 20 chapters to like 30 or 40? We'll see!) She was born a little over a year after the twins (Aemond's breeding kink has been unlocked by this point) she was happily welcomed to the world late in the night/early morning. She was born with vibrant violet eyes, pale golden/classic Targ platinum blonde hair, and slightly paler skin than her elder brothers. (I think facially, she actually takes after her late grandmama Laena mixed in with elements from both of her parents!)

Valaena (was named after her grandmama, Laena, as well as the name Valaena already holding deep significance in Velaryon culture. Rhaena wished to name at least one of their kids with a Velaryon name...she also had always thought the name was a beautiful one nonetheless). Valaena was a super sweet but clingy baby. I think she might've been even clingier than Aelyx was with mama Rhaena. In Valaena's case, she didn't care which parent was holding her, she just liked being carried everywhere. She loved warm cuddles, and she liked hearing her parents talk to her in Valyrian.

Valaena and (the next baby to come after her) were naturally very Valyrian coded, in that especially when they were babies/toddlers, they didn't like being around anyone who didn't at least look Valyrian. They'd always cry and throw tantrums if they woke up from their nap and their parents weren't around, or the nursemaids looked Andal or common. If Valaena and her younger sibling were causing too much of a fuss, Vaella would bring them to Aemond, she did it quite a lot, since he didn't mind having the babes sit on his lap during his petition hearings and whatnot.

Now ever since Valaena was born, Vaella was SUPER HAPPY about it, because she finally had a sister!! And it was mutual feeling, because as Valaena grew, she could be seen following her big sister Vaella around Dragonstone and the island towns almost always. Valaena just thought her sister was the most interesting person ever.

Nicknamed Val or little Laena (when Vaella wanted to push her buttons) (also Rhaena gets emotional every time she hears that nickname), her egg hatched in her crib, a hatchling from a clutch from Vermithor and Silverwing. A shimmering aquamarine/pale blue she-dragon with black tipped horns and sharp edged wings. Valaena would name her Qeldlie Kasta (Golden Blue in Valyrian) or simply Kasta for short.

Valaena was a good little girl, she didn't partake in the pranks Vaella and Daemion often planned. Instead she and Aelyx would happily sneak to library to read, or the gardens to play, and eventually Vaella and Daemion would join them there too.

Now unlike her hero big sis, Valaena never felt she had the coordination for training with a sword. Not for lack of trying, Aemond was very patient with his young daughter. But the day he found her in the training-courtyard one morning, sniffling and crying that "she'd never be as good as everyone else, as her other siblings," and that her kepa should just give up on trying to train her. Aemond had fought the urge to laugh at how dramatic his little girl was being, as he sat down beside her and folded her into a warm hug. He told her that he only wished to make sure that she was able to defend herself in the future, and besides that, swords weren't the only weapon she could choose from. In that moment, she was able to dry her eyes with her father's encouragement. And eventually she would discover she was quite skilled at aiming with a bow and arrow instead.

As Valaena grew into an adult, she grew to become a true Valyrian beauty. But unlike Vaella, she became very court focused. Where Vaella cared more about becoming a dangerous fearsome warrior like her papa, I think Valaena really falls in love with court life and really starts to take after Rhaena once puberty hits.

She loves dancing, she loves balls and feasts, she's very sweet and dainty actually! I think the majority of her personality as she grows older is far more like Rhaena than Aemond's or Vaella's. I think she wants to be just like her mama, and I think that realization dawns on her around age 12 or 13. She's hands down the sweetest of all the kids and the towns people of Dragonstone and King's Landing really love her!

Valaena would go on to become an excellent dragon rider of course, seen flying magnificently on the back of her beautiful pale blue dragon. She'd also become very proficient with her archery skills, but she wasn't fond of hunting, so she just liked aiming at targets for fun.

Once she came of age, she was HIGHLY sought after by many Lords! And unlike her elder siblings, she was happy enough to entertain her suitors. When her season starts, she returns to King's Landing to visit her grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. She enjoys all of the spring/summer fetes and parties that take place during that time.

But while she's there, she catches the eye of a certain uncle, in true Targaryen fashion. Aegon The Younger, Rhaenyra and Daemon's second youngest son, who was once known as little Aeggie, has grown into a very handsome young man. And like his father before him, he's also become a rather chaotic ladies-man. He's reached the age of marriage, and while his parents may not have forced him into a political match...they have implied that it's time he settle down.

He's reluctant to agree, as once again, like his father before him, he'd only really want a Valyrian woman anyhow. He couldn't consider his nieces born from Baela and Jace, as he'd practically been raised with them and they felt far too much like siblings of his. And with Luke and Daenaera, of their three kids, they only had one daughter, and while she was only 13 years his junior...well...13 years felt like far too large a gap for him.

No, his options lied elsewhere.

It was a joke at first, he thought he'd court Valaena as she was the sweet courtly one that everyone wanted. She was innocent and docile, and originally he thought he'd have some fun corrupting her along the way...only of course that plan didn't exactly play out that way. He'd been away travelling for nearly 5years, he hadn't seen what puberty had done to her. From the moment he laid eyes on her as a grown woman, his entire plan was now skewed with the fact that he truly wanted her ALL to himself.

Queue MAJOR drama between him and Aemond, because daddy Aemond was not fond of watching the cosmic karma of his relationship with his own wife repeat itself now with his sweet daughter and his menace of a nephew! But that story will be told in full in the sequel fic!

❃ ❃ ❃

Hope this was a fun one!! I'm so serious about this sequel fic too!! I've actually planned out all of the ships for each of Rhaemond's kids!! I think I might make some relationship specific posts after I'm done posting all of the kids! Just so you all can see the art I've done for everyone! That way I won't have to go back and edit them into these. But I've also already made Baela & Jace's kids and Luke & Daenaera's kids as well! Characters that will be featured in the sequel fic!

But Valaena and Aegon III are 100% happening! I love the cosmic karma of it all! Daemon started by falling for Rhaenyra LOOOL! And then Aemond did it to Daemon by marrying Rhaena, and now Aegon's gonna do it to Aemond. Father of the bride is never happy in this family LMAOO

And I'll leave this here once again just in case!

Sidenote: when I do make Part 3 of this series, don't mind me if some of these details change when I do get to writing it. These are just my main initial thoughts for these characters now. But once I go into more depth with them, things might alter just a tad!

-

Rhaemond kids in order:

Vaella Targaryen (135 AC), Daemion Targaryen & Aelyx Targaryen (137 AC), Valaena Targaryen (138 AC), Naerys Targaryen (139 AC), baby #6 & #7 (142 AC), baby #8 & #9 (153 AC)

[anthromimicry]

forever thinking about how, according to maslow's hierarchy of needs (or simply the self-actualization pyramid) that is basically this motivational theory in psychology that's made up of a five-tier model of human needs, that misao went from being on the third tier in her childhood to reverting back to the first tier currently which is food, water, warmth, and rest.

[ here's a picture of it for reference, y'all ]

so, in other words... she is just trying to survive SO badly right now at this point in her life, that she can not even worry about things like safety or security and especially not friends. and that is UHH... i might, or might not be sobbing right now

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

[rewatchingspn]

in roadkill (2x16), we're making a return to sam being characterized as the "empathetic, good at handling people person," and dean being the "rough around the edges, 'regular' people get in the way" person... interesting the different approaches the writers have with the boys episode to episode, and in what situations each of their very different sets of people skills shine.

[marvelthismarvelthat]

honestly, the aos writers really don’t get credit for how absolutely balls to the walls they went with their characters in the last season.

[nunyabznsbabes]

Katniss is like Lucy Gray this, Katniss is like Sejanus that, and yes fine that's all good and true and lovely but Katniss Everdeen is also a direct parallel to Coriolanus Snow and people NEED to start talking about this because it's driving me crazy.

Think about it: they both grew up poor and deeply vulnerable, losing parents at a very young age, with a matriarchal adult (Katniss' mother and Coriolanus' Grandma'am) who fails to provide for them emotionally and physically. They intimately understand the threat of starvation, even developing with stunted growth because of it, and their narrations in the books share a fixation on food. Throughout their childhoods, both experienced constant fear and suffered a fundamental lack of control over their circumstances. Because of this, they're inherently suspicious of the people around them. They resent feeling indebted to others, especially those who have saved their lives. They're motivated almost entirely by family and deeply connected to their communities. Both are used and manipulated by the Capitol, both are forced to perform to survive and despise every inch of it, both are thrown into the Arena and made to kill. Both have a self-sacrificial, genuinely sweet sister figure acting as their conscience. Peeta and Lucy Gray - performers and love interests with a fundamental kindness and sense of hope about them - fulfill markedly similar roles in their narrative. Both contribute to the development of the future Hunger Games, Snow throughout tbosas and Katniss towards the end of Mockingjay.

It's easy to ignore these similarities because, as mirrors of each other, they are exact opposites. Katniss is from District 12, viewed and treated as less than human; Snow is the cream of the Capitol crop, given the privilege of a name with social weight, an ancestral home, and the opportunity of the Academy despite having no more money than a miner from 12. Katniss has no agency over her life, and responds by being kind whenever she's able, while Snow justifies horrendous evils in order to continue his quest for complete control. Katniss does everything she can to protect her family; Snow does everything he can to protect his family's image as an extension of his own ego. Katniss loves her District and connects with its inhabitants on a meaningful level, but Snow is indifferent at best to his peers - the apparent "superior people" - and only engages with his community for personal gain. Katniss emerges from the Arena horrified at herself and the system, but Snow takes his trauma and turns it into an excuse to perpetuate the violence with himself at the top. Katniss cares for Prim until her death and then snaps at the loss of her little sister, while Snow survives on Tigris' blood, sweat, and tears and then torments and abandons her, presumably because she calls him out on his insanity. Snow actively adds to and popularizes the Hunger Games because of his vendetta against the Districts following his childhood wartime trauma - Katniss briefly agrees to a new Hunger Games in the pursuit of vengeance, but later stops them from happening by killing Coin and choosing a life of peace and privacy. Snow is obsessed with revenge, but Katniss empathizes with the Capitolites and does what she can to keep them from suffering. He exists in a cruel system and selfishly upholds it; she exists in a cruel system and works to dismantle it for the good of her family and community, at great personal cost. And Peeta and Lucy Gray are incredibly similar, but Katniss and Peeta forge a relationship of genuine love and understanding that shines in comparison to Coriolanus' obsessive projection onto Lucy Gray.

So, yeah, Katniss is Lucy Gray haunting Coriolanus. But I bet you anything that eighty-something year old President Snow looks at her, the girl on fire, bright and young and brilliant, emerging from a childhood of starvation with a relentless hunger for success, a talented and charming performer helping her win the Games, and he sees the ghost of his own past. And that's why he's so afraid of her! Because if he sees himself in her, then he's up against his own cunning, his own talent for manipulation, his own charisma, his own genius. He's up against the version of himself that he once wished to be, with the nightmare army of his childhood at her back and her star-crossed lover at her side, spewing Sejanus' truths in his own voice. This isn't to say that Katniss ever achieved the level of power and agency that Coriolanus did during her time with the rebellion, but it is to say that Snow was taken down by what truly terrified him - his own morality, come to finish the job.

[kinopio-writes]

Hi! Would you be willing to write something for Adam with a sensitive reader?

Everyone knows that he is loud-mouthed jerk, even reader, and she loves him regardless, but one day he crosses the line and says something particularly mean that makes her cry. Like REAL mean. To the point that he pauses because he did not think before speaking (or, well, less than usual lol)

I'm happy with whatever format you feel like using! Thank you!

A/N: I will be more than delighted to write that for you. But would you excuse me for a moment? AHHHHHHDISJDIOEOFJSKXJND—I’m sorry; I love this idea so much. Reading ‘Adam with a sensitive reader’ got me hooked instantly. But I’ll go over that in the headcanons, along with the general stuff. And I’ll add a oneshot at the end that plays the exact scenario of Adam taking it too far.

Holy sh!t. I made it so that the reader being sensitive is their greatest but also weakest point and it turned out pretty angsty. Has a bit of hurt/comfort, though. Did I go overboard? Maybe. That’s why it took so long. Sorry, anon.

Words: 2,328 (edited the end a bit because it didn’t sit right with me)

Warnings: Sex is mentioned (only a bit, surprisingly), Angst, Adam being Adam

———

Adam w/ a Sensitive!Reader

• ha, this man is also sensitive himself

• well, sensitive about himself

• he feels his own emotions strongly, so he’s not the caring, easily able to pick up on other’s feelings and empathize type of sensitive

• you, on the other hand, are on the opposite end of the spectrum compared to Adam

• so you experience other people’s emotions just as strongly as yours

• you easily know what makes someone tick

• you’re selfless

• you’re able to admit your mistakes and apologize

• you’re respectful and actively listen to people when they talk about themselves

• you don’t push people down to make yourself seem better

• you try to make everyone feel good and comfortable

• you’re everything he isn’t

• because you fit in Heaven perfectly

• you deserve to be there

• and Adam knows that he doesn’t belong (subconsciously at least)

• you’re able to draw people in just for being yourself

• and he’s envious of it

• so he demeans you and is snarky about everything you do, and every time people give you praise or affection, he tries to divert the attention to himself or just stares at you with utter hatred from afar

• although all of that is just when he hasn’t even had a conversation with you

• after a while of being around you, he’ll cling to you because you give him the reassurance and validation he oh-so craves (he acts as if he didn’t hate you before. What do you mean? You two were always buddy-buddy!)

• you acknowledge all of the things he puts his worth to

• heck, you hang out with him—you sometimes even initiate it—willingly, and you’re genuinely interested in everything he has to say

• but he‘ll only hang out with you where no one recognizes you (so you don’t get all the attention)

• terrible transition here, but he notices that you mimic people’s expressions often

• he definitely makes fun of you for it

• and also mocks you

• up until he realizes that you do the same thing to him, too

• which is fine and all, if only you didn’t do that when he’s upset

• well, you mimic him when he’s joyous as well, but he (already subconsciously) expects you to. I mean, why wouldn’t you? He’s fucking hilarious!

• so you copying his negative emotions just stands out more

• and he…doesn’t like it

• that’s only really what he doesn’t like about you

• and the fact that you hog all the attention

• and the fact that people see you as perfect…

• buuut what happens when he gets to see a new side of you that isn’t exactly upholding that image?

———

Your phone lit up from your bedside table, brightening your otherwise dark room along with the soft glow of your halo. You only moved your eyes to the light, not wanting your tears to spill and dampen your pillows.

You had an inkling as to who was texting you this late—if the fact that your phone lighting up several times in the span of 5 minutes had anything to say.

When the texts stopped pouring in after a few seconds, you heavily sighed, wings ruffling. You resisted the urge to rub your face as you went to grab your phone.

HEY (2:34) HEY (2:34) HEY (2:34) ARE YOU UP? (2:35) I’M BORED (2:35) GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE (2:36) IF YOU’RE UP (2:37) ARE YOU? (2:38) DID I TELL YOU THAT BITCH WITH THE HUGE TITS GOT FIRED TODAY? (2:39)

Figured. Of course, it was Adam. He was the only person you knew who’d be awake at this ungodly hour. And the only person you knew who’d disturb your peace if it meant curing anything that ailed him. Which was now about boredom, it seemed.

You read a few of his texts displayed on your lock screen before tapping one of the notifications and opening the app, scanning the rest of the unread messages.

Adam was going on about ‘that bitch with the huge tits’—her name was Tiffany, you were sure—and how she was rumored to have slept with an archangel to assume higher authority. He also went on to complain about how he didn’t have the chance to bed her anymore since she was basically deemed an outcast and that he couldn’t be seen with someone like her.

You frowned, not believing any of it, but you didn’t have time to think about it enough when he began typing again.

SO YOU’RE AWAKE (2:43)

You barely finished reading the new message when another one popped up.

DON’T IGNORE ME BITCH (2:43)

You frowned deeper, quick to type out a reply.

i’m not (2:43) i was just reading your texts (2:43) don’t worry (2:43) i’ll be there soon (2:44)

When he stopped typing, you placed your phone back on the nightstand, sitting up on your bed as you carefully wiped away your teary eyes. You hugged yourself for a moment, wings functioning as a cocoon while a hand tugged on your hair.

Today had been draining—both mentally and emotionally. Just like the day before, and the day before that. But you didn’t want to think about it, lest you start to cry some more and smear your face with tears this time. What mattered was that everyone was back on their feet again.

Since you didn’t bother changing into your sleepwear when you got home, you only checked your face in the mirror to see if your eyes were puffy or not. You then took in deep breaths, holding up your drooping wings before putting up a charming smile.

You couldn’t stay in the bathroom for long, quickly leaving to tread the path to Adam’s.

•••

“BOO!” Adam’s masked face suddenly peeked from the corner of his hallway, earning an indescribable scream from you as you jerked back. He burst out laughing, brows creased in confusion but also amusement. He couldn’t even make fun of you for getting scared. “What the—what the fuck was that scream?”

Recovering rather quickly as you blinked, you only smiled at him. You were expecting him to wait for you on his couch as his front door was left unlocked, but you weren’t complaining; his action took away any drowsiness you just had.

When Adam didn’t hear you laugh with him, his laughter subsided as he opened his eyes to look at your face. He raised his brows and placed the back of his hands on his hips. “What’s up with you?”

Shit. There was no way Adam was seeing through you.

“Nothing; I just love hearing you laugh.” You heard a tiny squeak in response. “Anyway, what did you make me come over for? Surely not just to scare me.” You moved past Adam and tightly crossed your arms, entering his spacious living room.

“Pshh, fuck no. You’re so easy to spook. Though that was a first. Didn’t know you could hit high notes, (Name).”

You didn’t know what to say to his…compliment? And sort of insult? Was it really either of them? Should you thank him? But in a sarcastic way? No, you weren’t known for being sarcastic, so he might think you were being genuine and look at you weirdly. And it would also seem highly egotistical.

Not as if Adam had much to say about that…

You tugged at your hair when you caught yourself with those thoughts. Shit, that’s so rude! You can’t think that! You shouldn’t think that!

You settled on an awkward chuckle, making yourself appear smaller as you averted your eyes to his TV space.

It was different, certainly. The modular couch pieces were rearranged into a pit sectional. And it looked as though he had chucked a bunch of pillows and one large blanket as an afterthought. It appeared messy, but at least it looked cozy.

“What’s this?”

“Hm? Oh, well, since you were taking your sweet ass time coming here, I thought to switch things up a bit.” You flinched when his head appeared right on your shoulder. “What’d ya think?”

“It looks super comfy.” Adam wore a goofy grin behind you as you walked closer to the area and noticed that he already prepared snacks on the low table. “Is this a way to say you wanna do a movie marathon?”

“You know it, baby.” He flew past you and landed on the sofa, patting the space beside him with a smile you just couldn’t reject.

•••

Heaven’s natural light beginning to peek through the open windows indicated that it was already dawn. Thank goodness you didn’t have work today.

You two—or rather, Adam—had settled on watching the film series, Die Hard. Every single one. You didn’t mind, but you didn’t understand why Adam invited you over if you two were just going to rewatch the film series for the eighth time.

He had also been pretty immersed in the large screen in front of him, so he hadn’t attempted to converse with you ever since the first movie started. In all honesty, he could have just watched them all by himself.

But you didn’t question it. This time was the same as the last seven, after all. You always concluded that maybe he just wanted someone to watch movies with, no talking necessary. Even if the no-talking part sounded a bit out of character.

Was it though? Because he did that quite often. For instance, he constantly brought you along to whatever mundane errands he had to do during the weekdays and never really talked with you unless he found something cool and pointed it out.

Although, the earlier times you tagged along with him on his errands, he kept yapping his mouth off about the ‘totally awesome’ things he does. He talked about music, his own albums, his band, women, sex, and himself as the first-ever man.

As time went on, however, the talking was replaced with silence. You wondered if he just ran out of things to say or if he found it unnecessary to talk anymore.

You also sometimes wondered what was going through his head when he thought you didn’t see him glancing at you while he was doing something he believed was boring.

The sound of Adam’s stomach rumbling broke you out of your train of thought.

You both looked at each other blankly as if either of you were to blame.

He blinked to break the eye contact between you. “(Name), I’m hungry.”

You snorted, facing ahead. “You ate all of our snacks before the first movie even finished.”

“Don’t blame me.” He hugged the pillow he held tighter. “I’m still fuckin’ hungry, though.”

You hummed as you reached for your pocket. “Do you want me to—oh. I…I forgot my phone.” You frowned. You never forget to bring your belongings.

Adam merely stared at you, unblinking.

You averted your eyes and held your legs tighter. “Uhm, We could get delivery if you want. Can you lend me your phone?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He casually tossed you the device before laying on his back and looking up at you. “I’m down for anything.”

His phone hit your knee before you could catch it, silently landing on the cushions. “Are you sure?” You picked it up, opened his unlocked phone, and stared at his basic home screen.

He didn’t really use his phone that often to know that it could be changed. He only really used it to fetch one-night stands or occasional dates, text, play music aloud, look at outdated memes, take random blurry photos, and right now, order delivery.

“Totally.” His crow’s feet displayed on his mask as he puffed out his cheeks.

“Because last time you said that, you didn’t like what I had to pick.”

“That’s because the 5 ʼn 2 is so fucking overrated!” he suddenly started to complain. Your wings ruffled. “Jeez, I swear, every fuckin’ time I take a chick out and ask her what her favorite eatery is, basic bitches always go, ‘Oh, bREaD & fIsH, ceRTAinLy’ or ‘bReAD & FiSh’S a cLAsSIC’” He used his hand as a puppet to imitate their words before waving it. “Like, helloooo? Can’t you see the joint that’s literally on the other side of the street’s a hundred times superior? It’s cheaper, too, unlike Bread & Fish. Overpriced ass. You get me, right—?”

“Then you pick!” Adam jumped at your volume, and your eyes widened upon noticing yourself. You quickly gave back his phone as you turned your face away from him, and he slowly took it with a weird look.

“Shit, chill, (Name). The fuck’s up your ass?” He kept his gaze on you before turning to his phone.

While he was serious about his opinions of your bland tastes, he didn’t think it was that personal. Your preferences were the same as everyone else and that was boring. He was just being honest. And you usually didn’t take the things he said that seriously.

“Adam, I’m sorry,” you spoke up after a moment of silence and ran a hand through your hair. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“ʼs not a problem.” He was still a bit weirded out, but he was willing to shrug it off.

You insisted, however, “I mean it. I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay…?” he muttered when he saw a notification pop up from Lute. Her message consisted of how some of the exterminators got into a quarrel during roll call and the ones involved got injured in the process. She said she was going to discipline them.

Adam did not want to know what she meant by that and was most likely not going to stop by their place today.

“Really. I’m not. Sorry. It’s just that yesterday’s been…”

“Uh-huh…” At this point, Adam was not listening to anything you were saying. But when he still heard the static noise that was your words, he groaned. “Look, sweetie, I really don’t give a fuckin’ shit about your fuckin’ apology, ʼkay? I don’t fuckin’ care. Now what do you want?”

You saw Adam’s confused yet concerned expression after he looked up from his phone and immediately noticed that you were starting to cry. You instantly turned your face away as you carefully wiped your eyes.

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m not crying because of you.” You didn’t know if that was true. You didn’t know if you were crying because of his words or were crying because of everything else.

That was the first time he ever used a sweet petname for you in a long time. He only ever used that to demean or mock other people.

Shit. Stop thinking—you were going to cry more. But even after carefully wiping your eyes away, new tears kept flowing. You couldn’t stop. This was humiliating. You wanted to disappear. You didn’t want anyone to witness you in this state. It was mortifying.

“Shit.” Adam’s voice came out panicky as he held his hands out towards you, but he hesitated. Hesitated in what, he didn’t even know.

He…didn’t think you could cry.

Adam didn’t know what to do; this emotional shit wasn’t his thing. He couldn’t ask you to leave, he knew that much, but he didn’t want to leave himself. This was his place. Why should he leave?

So, he did the only thing he could do in this situation.

You suddenly felt something warm envelop you.

You didn’t look up, but you knew it was Adam. You could feel the texture of his robe on your hands and the side of your face. You could feel his hands on your shoulder blade, but you couldn’t quite feel his arms on you.

You stopped wiping your eyes for a moment.

No one had ever hugged you before when you were sad.

No one had ever let you be sad.

Adam heard you sob.

Fucking great. He made it worse. What the fuck was he supposed to do then?

But when he went to unwrap his arms, he felt yours slip around his midsection, pulling him closer than before as he grunted from your firm hold.

So you wanted to be hugged? Alright. Whatever.

Adam slowly hugged you back after you muttered a ‘sorry’ and loosened your grip.

The next seconds were silent, so when he heard muffled words coming from you, he looked down. You also looked up moments later when he didn’t respond, realizing he must’ve not heard you.

Your gaze softened as you two held eye contact, and with teary eyes, you smiled. “Thank you, Adam.”

Something about his expression changed, but before you could stare any longer, you felt a hand behind your head push you back to his chest as the arm on your back held you tight.

“Yeah, whatever…”

[prying-pandora666]

I don’t know how to say this tactfully, but I’ll do my best.

If other fans online have convinced you to see the gentle, optimistic, empathetic, fun loving, whimsical, forgiving, wise beyond his years genocide survivor, as a sexist, racist, xenophobic, abusive, pro-colonization, sexual assault perpetrator who doesn’t care about anyone else and doesn’t understand trauma…

You have been LIED TO.

Please just think for a moment!

ATLA was banned in China from the beginning for a reason. Because they didn’t want anyone empathizing with a character based on Tibetan monks. Why? Because they are an actual oppressed and persecuted minority IRL. Their religious leader lives in exile. Their second most important spiritual figure is the youngest political prisoner ever taken (and to this day no one knows if he’s alive or dead!). China has actual prison and labor camps. Tibetan people get sent there for “re-education”.

Can you please think about what these “fans” are saying when they stomp all over this allegory in TLA and try to frame Aang as the oppressor?

Do you really think it’s appropriate or these people who call Aang all these horrible (and inaccurate) things are being in anyway fair when they call Aang “white coded”???

Even without the real world context, Aang is explicitly the only survivor of a genocide. The last of his people. He has lost more than anyone else in the entire franchise. There’s a reason he clings so hard to Appa.

Do you think it’s fair to compare a 12 year old misreading signals and trying to kiss a girl who already consensually kissed him before, and immediately backing off and giving her space when she says no, to rape?

Tweens and teens miscommunicating and trying to comfort each other with kisses, only to realize that’s not what their friend needed and immediately backing off is the same as having your body violently violated against your will? The same as having your “no” ignored?

How do you think this makes survivors feel? To see people use their experiences as a shield and cudgel for ship discourse? It certainly upsets me as someone who experienced intimate partner violence, let me tell you! And I know I’m not the only one.

And how is it in anyway feminist or pro-Katara to ignore her own agency and deep love she shows for Aang? Yes, that includes her own crush on him! It IS reciprocated!

Lastly, you don’t need to demonize Aang to ship whatever you want to ship. Please understand that the majority of these takes are bad faith and born out of bitterness and insecurity over a friggin FANON SHIP.

And none of it is necessary! You can ship whatever you want! You don’t need permission or excuses. You can just ship them! You can make your case for why you like another pairing better without misrepresenting what happened in the show and what these characters are like, let alone what they represent.

There’s already plenty to work with in the show as it is! Otherwise why bother?

I’m imploring fans taken in by persuasive and manipulative metas to please just think about it. Get off social media and rewatch the show for yourself thoughtfully.

It doesn’t need to be like this.

[emptyjunior]

Can I say how much I love how Ouran High School handles the rich boy/poor girl in love trope. 

Like I absolutely believe it’s discussions about classism and elitism to this Day still hold up! 

I will admit there is so much weird stuff in ouran😭, but we see the Handsome ‘Unlimited Money’ Male Lead a LOT in anime and I feel ouran gets a lot of points of the characterisation SO right, that a lot of other shows just don’t! 

Ouran does the whole love story/harem/all the boys want brown hair girl that we project on, trope. Like they do that, but they show that at the foundation, the root of all of it, those rich boys are JEALOUS. They aren’t approaching Haruhi with the need to protect and own her, at their core the rich are envious of her! Even though they have everything, they want what she has! 

Like we see in the real world with how the rich cosplay as poor! And say "ohhhh I'm so broke please venmo me for lunch" and wear their ripped jeans and strained sweaters and take pictures at the met gala with a box of McDonalds fries in their hand. 

The classist comments made towards Haruhi ARE comedic relief, but the joke isn’t on characters like Haruhi, the joke is on THEM. 

They are the ones who can’t do anything! They are the ones who are stilted and emotionally closed off! They are the ones who can’t make an instant coffee or go to a mall without help! 

THAT is why Haruhi is the center of this harem, why she is the one they’re chasing. They are jealous of her insight and world experience from living independently, from living a REAL life. That is her enviable trait. Haruhi GETS people! And they don’t. Their wealth has isolated them and now there is a barrier between these characters and the rest of the world and they have no idea how to navigate it. 

And this is the foundation of 90% of the problems/conflict in the show! 

The holiday ep when Hikaru has feelings because Haruhi reconnects with Nice Guy Arai? Hikaru says he doesn’t like this guy for all these reasons and most of them are like ‘he’s just some nobody from nothing who only knows Haruhi cause they went to some stupid public school together’. Like okay? Haruhi has all of those ‘bad traits’ as well but you still seem to like her?  

Because it’s not about that, it’s never about that, it’s not even about the love rival/romance angle (at least not completely).  

Hikaru is scared and embarrassed! He already was when they got there, when these rich boys crashed Haruhi’s summer to find out she is an employee here and she is working with her own two hands. This is not a break for her! And then he’s so worried when Haruhi and Arai find each other because what they have is so untouchable to him. Same background, same class, they can meet each other’s needs! And know the other's needs! And this is a chasm that Hikaru has no idea how to cross so he starts lashing out. 

And that episode concludes with Hikaru being told about Haruhi’s fear of thunderstorms, finally actually listening and empathizing with what that means, and then going to her and giving her the stuff she needs to deal with that problem (blanket, headphones, support, protection etc.). 

He has to LEARN that none of those poor people inherently know all this secret knowledge! They just care and ask each other stuff! You can ask Haruhi what she's afraid of and then help her with that! It was always this simple! Just because you’re not the same class as her and knowing her isn’t as easy as it is with people the same as you, doesn’t mean you’ll never know! Learn! Listen! Keep trying! 

Ouran shows their rich characters being hurt by their wealth. Their elitists mindset does NOT benefit them and they’re only narratively rewarded when they break out of it, THAT’S why the arcs are so good. 

(And also while we’re here, I LOVE when they do eps that show Tamaki’s character is actually a parallel of Haruhi’s. Tamaki grew up as an illegitimate child, hidden away in France with his mother. He knows what it is to not be at the top of the food chain, and he learns the skills to keep living! Tamaki is a survivor in a world run by a man who was ashamed of him and did not want him. That can destroy a child, but Tamaki doesn’t let it. He learns how to work people and he learns that belief in yourself is the most powerful asset someone can have. And this is the life experience he imparts onto Kyoya and this SAVES Kyoya, who was barreling towards a black pit of despair and chasing his father’s shadow. The ‘poor’ characters of this show have power that the rich people desperately desire, and in the end they learn that it’s not something you take it’s something you build for yourself.) 

[goresuki]

my thoughts on Charlastor and Alastor calling Charlie "the daughter he never had"

this will be a very long rant/vent/whatever. also, a kind of... agressive one. if u wanna read, read it, if u don't, don't, idc and idm. I don't know if some antis take things for convenience (that way) or if they really are naive, because the fact that a manipulative guy like Alastor, whose intentions are unknown, tells Charlie that he sees her as "the daughter he never had" DOES NOT SOUND as CUTE to me as many DO seem to think it does.

I don't know if they don't realize the relationship Charlie has with her parents and how Alastor seems to take advantage of her.

From the pilot we realize that Charlie has no contact with her mother. In the series it is established that they have not seen each other for 7 years.

The first episode JUST talks about Charlie having so called "daddy issues" as her father, Lucifer, is an absentee father.

Charlie appears to NOT have had a close relationship with ANY of the two for some time (or quite some time).

The only person Charlie has is Vaggie, to protect and care for her (here's why Vaggie is so "boring", as some people call her, as she is acting as a guide/parental figure for Charlie, even though their relationship is romantic).

Where am I going with these points? That I think it's complete nonsense for people to take super-literally what Alastor has said: "you're like the daughter I always wanted to have".

Isn't it convenient for the most feared overlord (not the strongest) to approach Charlie and find that she's not as vulnerable as he thought (because Vaggie is there)? Isn't it convenient for Alastor to make a very absolute polarity between Vaggie and him in the pilot, where Vaggie comes off as the "bitter one" and he as the "fun guy"? Isn't it convenient for Alastor to PROVE to Charlie over and over again that HE knows what SHE NEEDS by pulling his tricks? And, oh, surprise… Isn't it even more convenient that when Lucifer arrives, who has a lousy relationship with his daughter, Charlie, Alastor rubs it in his face that he is doing everything that he (Lucifer) is responsible for, and furthermore, hits him right where it hurts, manipulating Charlie so that she seriously BELIEVES that Alastor REALLY sees her that way, and thus making her STILL not have a GUIDE other than HIMSELF?

I'll make it simple for you. You know how narcissists work? They will make you believe that YOU are special, and at the same time, they will ALIENATE you from your loved ones to keep gaining whatever they need from you. Charlie is, literally, his supply.

Alastor is a psychopath and narcissist. Do you really think that someone who can't genuinely empathize and love is literally going to feel affection for a grown woman who is very naive and doesn't even have power over her kingdom because she is so immature? Don't you think it is VERY OBVIOUS that he has literally said to her face: "I'm going to manipulate you in my favor because thanks to me you have all these upgrades in your stupid hotel"?

Alastor hasn't as such made a deal with Charlie, but he's winning her over in HIS way.

And I don't know who's crazier: charlastor shippers like me, who don't give a damn about canon and want to enjoy shipping WITHOUT bothering ANYONE (and don't come out with the stupidity that it's a "proship". Proshipper doesn't even mean "problematic ship", it means that you are FOR shipping whatever you want, living and letting live, without HARASSING others. Let's remember that Hazbin Hotel characters DON'T. FUCKING. EXIST. Alastor is not going to come out of the screen to say: "omg, user, thanks for defending me from those evil shippers uwu", or Charlie to say: "thanks for defending me, you're so good, user…. You're such a good person". Pro: "in favor of", shipper: "shipper, ship", however you want to call it. Don't modify terms to suit yourselves because you can tell that many don't even know how suffixes and prefixes work in words. Neither Charlie nor Alastor are going to die because someone shipped them. They are FICTITIOUS characters. The FANON is not going to change the CANON. Learn to sepparate stuff, ffs. Go out and touch grass once in a while) or antis who put on a pedestal what Alastor said, believing it as a justification to ATTACK people in the fandom who shipped something different, according to them, "problematic".

There they do forget that Alastor is a manipulator, that he is a person with a LOT of arsenal to get his way. There they forget that he IS a guy Charlie should NOT trust. There it DOES count because IT CONVENIENTS THEM. That's when the canon MATTERS to them. There it COUNTS. It doesn't matter if Charlie gets hurt because of trusting Alastor, they only see what they want to see. If you guys are going to humanize this fucking characters, at least be a little bit logical. Got me? Remember what Viv said?: "ship whatever you want, JUST DON'T HARASS ANYONE". These people say: "fuck what Viv says", but on this occasion, since she DID say something convenient for them, it DOES matter what Viv says now, doesn't it? Hypocrites.

Charlie has no one beyond Alastor, and I don't remember where I read that theory, whether it was here or elsewhere, where they talked about Alastor looking for a way to alienate the hotel itself in one way or another. That's why he doesn't use very flashy technology (Vox can travel through the latest electronics, and the hotel has an old box TV), nor does he go out of his way to provide anything of good quality (like the video camera). The hotel has its own power supply (we see this when the blackout occurs during the song between Alastor and Vox).

Alastor DOES NOT WANT Charlie as his daughter, he's just taking advantage of her to get whatever he needs to get out of her.

Charlie doesn't even seem to know exactly how her powers work, and the only person who can teach her is Lucifer, her father. And if Lucifer is out of the equation, Alastor can do whatever he wants.

He's hit Lucifer right in the jugular, and Lucifer knows that all the power in the world can't make up for the wrong he did to Charlie.

Anyway, if a real anti thinks Charlastor is problematic because "AlASTor AlreADy SaiD hE sEES hEr As a DauGhtER," I remind them that they are not dealing with a character who cares about others beyond maintaining his own status, and ffs... they're not even real. KEEP SHIPPING. KEEP DRAWING. KEEP MAKING FANFICS. FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO HARASS YOU, FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT TRY TO MAKE EVERYTHING "PURE" ON A SHOW ABOUT DEMONS AND HELL. FUCK THESE PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE A FANDOM THEIR OWN FUCKING WAY BECAUSE THEY CAN'T HANDLE THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT VIEWS. FUCK THEIR SAVIOR COMPLEX, JUST COMING AROUND WHEN IT'S ALL ABOUT CHARACTERS THAT DON'T EXIST, FEEL, OR THINK FOR THEMSELVES, BUT DISAPPEARS ANYTIME SOMEONE REAL COMES, HARASSING AND SENDING DEATH THREATS TO THEM. FUCK THESE PEOPLE, GIVING PSYCHOLOGICAL DIAGNOSES OVER A FUCKING TIKTOK VIDEO OTHER ANTI MADE JUST BASING THEIR THEORIES ON THEIR FIST RESULT ON GOOGLE. FUCK YALL, CAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON YOU WHINE ABOUT THIS FANDOM. JUST AS WE SAY IN SPANISH: O LA BEBES, O LA DERRAMAS.

[tyttamarzh]

Missa and Tallulah

I adore the father-daughter bond that has formed between Missa and Tallulah, it reminds me so much of Missa's early days with Chayanne and it warms my heart.

But there is something very interesting in the way Tallulah accepted Missa as her father immediately, despite having lived very little with him and despite the fact that Missa never tried to impose himself on her as a father (even if he considered her his daughter since Phil told him that he adopted her).

And it is precisely that. Missa never imposed himself, he didn't try to push himself on as a father to Tallulah, unlike other people in the past who tried to "adopt" her or make her see them as a father. Missa always accepted his place in the girl's life and was fine with the "uncle" title she had given him.

He told her that he felt the responsibility of taking care of her, just as he takes care of Chayanne and he always behaved nice and friendly, but to a certain extent he kept his distance from the subject, he never wanted to pressure or make her feel uncomfortable attributing himself a role that did not belong to him.

Missa has always respected that Tallulah's father is Wilbur and although he knew that Phil had adopted her and that he directly referred to her as their daughter, Missa never intended to take that place (even in prison he referred to Wilbur as "her true father"), as much as he saw her as his daughter, he respected Tallulah's feelings and that was important for her, because she spent months anguished by Wilbur's absence, hearing jokes from others about it, like If her suffering was nothing more than a joke for everyone and although they were harmless jokes, every time that happened it seemed like it disturbed her, she was Wilbur's daughter and people didn't seem to take it seriously.

She had other people in her life, people she became very fond of, but despite that she has never seen them as a replacement for her father and she never liked that anyone wanted to see themselves as such. She has great appreciation for Quackity because she knows how important he is to Wil and out of all of them, it seemed that he was the closest to becoming her stepfather and therefore, her "second father" and in some way being close to him was a way to bond with Wilbur, but Q's presence in Tallulah's life was never stable and along the way there has been mistrust and bitter moments with him (that bond was not created, but she still sees him as someone important to Wil and is fond of him). Others have taken care of her and although she became fond of them, she always saw them as her "uncles" and although there were those who tried to be something more than her, she never felt comfortable with the idea.

It even took a long time before she directly started calling Phil dad and that was something that was born from her, Phil didn't come and tell her "now I'll take your father's place" he just earned his own place and that made the girl was the one who asked him to adopt her. But Phil already had a long history with her and a very solid relationship, so her asking him that was something to be expected but… Why did she immediately accept Missa?

The first things Tallulah heard from Missa were the wonders Chay and Phil told her about him and from the moment she met him, she realized that he was a sweet and kind man who made Chay very happy. In a way, she saw Chay's family as what she expected from a family, since they all had a very beautiful bond with each other. But still, she didn't see Missa as her father, nor as her "grandfather" (when she saw Philza like that), he was another of her uncles. But from that moment on, all the times Phil and Chay talked about him were different for her, because now she knew him and could understand how important he was to them, seeing a parallel between the longing they felt for him with the one she felt for Wilbur and that made her empathize with them, strengthening their bond.

So, the next time she saw Missa, she defended him from Foolish and Tubbo's taunts and followed him around the island, so he could reunite with Chay, because she knew that was important to her brother and that he would do the same for her. In some ways, the things that happened that day greatly influenced the way she felt about Wilbur's absence by then.

Even so, Missa was always sweet and kind to her and promised to take care of her like Chay, HIS OWN SON, without any kind of commitment, without expecting anything from her, or trying to be considered her father or take these place.

That must have been confusing for her in some way, because she didn't know how he saw her or if he considered her his family, but it kind of made her think about it: "Is he part of my family? Do I want that?" "Am I part of his family?"

Missa's absence and presence influenced the three of them in several ways, even if no one were not fully aware of it.

And this is where Phil's influence comes. For Phil there was no doubt that Missa had become another father to Tallulah from the moment he adopted her, but that could never be formalized because the three of them were never in the same room to talk about it and Tallulah never asked it directly.

Just as Missa didn't want to force Tallulah to see him as a father, she didn't want to force him to see her as his daughter. It was in the end Phil who directly made the decision to make it official, he had already talked about it with Missa before, but he didn't ask Tallulah, he just told her "he's your third father" and even at that moment, she asked him Missa was okay with it, because until then she only saw him as Chayanne's father and Missa's response was that he already considered her his daughter (which was similar to what Phil told her).

Missa was not someone who asked her to see him as a father just like that, he was someone who saw her as a daughter even if she did not consider him her father, he never fought for that title, he never expected anything in return, he was someone who unconditionally agreed to love her, even if he didn't know her, JUST LIKE A TRUE FATHER DOES.

That's why Tallulah accepted it immediately, she reciprocated that show of love in the same way.

I sincerely believe that she has been able to heal something within her heart and that being Phil and Missa's daughter makes her very happy, without displacing her love for Wilbur.

Tallulah's new side is quite important, I think that Missa's love does her quite well and was something that she needed for a long time, because now she feels part of a complete family and it is natural that she wants to protect that and now she have someone who makes her feel like she have the strength to take care of those she love.

It's incredible how both Missa and Tallulah needed each other to feel part of the family, because in some way, they were the ones who doubted their place within it.

I never expected this, but I love it.

Missa is a great father, he has always been a great father and I am willing to fight anyone who dares to say otherwise…

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Ever since October 7th, the amount of misinformation and disinformation about Jews, Israel, Judaism, and even just like, basic facts about reality have been so intense that it's really dredging up a lot of my gaslighting trauma.

(No, not in the memic sense that it's been distorted into, but the kind of gaslighting that leads you to detransition and think it was your choice despite drowning in dysphoria, the kind that warps and changes and erases memories, and makes it so that you dissociate for literal months at a time to escape the pain. That kind.)

And I recognized this because I keep finding myself arguing facts and trying to reason with people who say that they're part of the compassionate left and care about working on antisemitism but yet spew the kind of antisemitism that would be totally at home on Stormfront.

It's that first arguing stage of gaslighting, where the abuser keeps saying outrageous, untrue things and you're still fighting to try and get them to empathize with you and seek mutual understanding. This:

A gaslighter does not simply need to be right. He or she also needs for you to believe that they are right. In stage 1, you know that they are being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate — your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage 1, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate.

(bolding mine) (source)

This is a pattern I recognize in myself in personal relationships and even within communities, but what's happening right now is a lot bigger and more diffuse. It's not one abuser or even a shitty cohort of abusive people who are monopolizing a community space. This is being encouraged in a frighteningly large number of non-Jewish progressive spaces. In the same way that stochastic terrorism adds up very quickly, this type of cultural gaslighting and stochastic emotional abuse feels like a deluge.

But if you look at history, this is not new, for Jews. This is but the latest version of a very long game of Why Won't You Just Give Up and Assimilate or Die that Jews have thus far prevailed on at great cost to ourselves.

Anyway I'm done arguing with goyim about things that absolutely should not be up for debate: Jewish history, Jewish culture, what certain religious concepts in Judaism mean, Jewish lived experiences, what is and isn't antisemitism. If you aren't willing to engage in a genuine way that seeks mutual understanding, I'm not interested. I'm done.

You are engaging in violent behavior and lying to yourself about it and calling it activism. Well I am no longer going to participate. You can lie to yourself all you want, but you are a bad person and I don't forgive you, and you can do that alone.

You are acting from a mob mentality and a mob cannot be reasoned with. You are drunk on your tiny bit of power and social capital, and years down the line you'll lie to yourself and pretend that you cared about us.

You didn't. And deep down you know it, too.

Instead of arguing with people who refuse to see facts or reason and put our experiences up for debate, I am going to work on compiling a resource for people who want to actually learn.

Everyone else can fuck off.

[zukosdualdao]

i can’t stop thinking about WHY zutara bonding in the crystal catacombs scene is so moving and its just so!!!!

like. katara is someone who specifically addresses her mother’s death to empathisze with other people, like haru or jet. and while they do connect with her on this level (and i have lots of <3 feelings about haru and katara), she is always the one initially extending the empathy. she is always the one in that caretaking role.

and when she brings up her mother in the crossroads of destiny, it’s different! because it’s the first time she’s taking about it in anger, as she yells at zuko about what this war has taken from her, personally.

and ZUKO is the one who reaches out to empathize with her in addressing the loss of his own mother by the hands of the fire nation. zuko, who has thus far not been more than an enemy or very brief, reluctant ally to her says: “i’m sorry. that’s something we have in common.” because he hears her crying and her grief and her anger and gets it, he does. and instead of katara being the one to reach out, to provide this kind of care for someone, for once, it’s the other way around.

and for zuko’s part! we actually see time and time again that he is someone not only capable of empathy, but rather prone to it. but it’s a part of himself he HATES. he’s been taught a very harsh lesson by his father: caring for others is a weakness. so, up to this point, he’s always not only shied away from empathy and connection with others, but actively set out to not be seen that way and perform a lack of care for them. even when he does start forming new connections, like with song, who empathizes with him through the shared pain of their scars, he can’t bring himself to return the compassion of sharing his own experience. (actually, i’d go so far as to say stealing the family’s ostritch horse at the end of the episode goes beyond the simple motivation of “we need to travel, this will make it easier”; it’s a way of reasserting to himself that whatever kinship or care he may have felt for song, he is not WEAK, he can still be the son his father wants by performing this act of disregard for others.)

but in the catacombs, he doesn’t just NOT shy away from empathy, he actively embraces it, actively makes the CHOICE to reach out. and like, he didn’t need to. while WE know katara as an extremely kind person, there was no real reason for him to expect this would be met by anything but hostility. and he chose to reach out anyway! because the thing is: he genuinely HAD grown. it’s just that healing isn’t linear.

it’s why zuko’s choice in the catacombs is so tragic, and such a betrayal for katara. because however brief it was, for a moment, they shared something real and honest and vulnerable. with someone neither of them ever would have expected it from.

[primaviva]

WASTED SUMMERS

PAIRINGS: gwen stacy x fem!reader, gwen stacy x miles morales (platonic)

SYNOPSIS: one minute you were fighting the vulture, the next you were caring for gwen stacy. she hated you at first and thought you were just another person taking pity on her. as the two of you became closer, gwen realized she needed you. maybe as a friend or maybe as something more. but that all changed once miles came back. two months later, you were dropped. just like that. was everything between you two just all in your head? she said it herself, you were just a waste of time.

WARNINGS: heavy angst, mentions of blood / injury, misunderstandings trope, gwen bein in her own world as always, jealousy and big arguments, as well as super long and not proof read ?? that’s all

as the sun stretched its golden rays across the landscape, a gentle warmth enveloped the city, signaling the arrival of summer.

being a normal kid was never in the cards for you. after all, you possessed incredible spider powers that set you apart from the rest. you longed for someone who could relate to the exhilaration, the struggles, and the responsibility that came with being spiderwoman. while others could confide in friends or family about their daily lives, you carried the weight of your powers silently, unable to share the truth with anyone.

but then, everything changed when the events of kingpin's collider unfolded. in that moment, you crossed paths with numerous individuals who were just like you spider people from their own dimensions. finally, you found people who shared your struggles, faced similar challenges, and could truly empathize with what you were going through.

however, you didn't spend much time with them. being new to the mantle, you were still coming out of your shell a little. you still made bonds back then, don’t get yourself wrong. those relationships just weren’t as deep as others like miles and peter or miles and… her.

but things were different now. since then, you've undergone such a transformation.

seeing all of them made you feel normal, not just that you found people who understood you completely. it brought you back to the feeling of when you were a regular teen girl with friends to always hang out with and little crushes. there was a sense of normalcy.

you thought you’d never see them again, until you did.

some time ago, a spider-man named miguel o'hara from a different dimension came forward, boldly claiming his identity as a fellow spider-powered hero. he had taken it upon himself to establish a spider society and extended an invitation for you to join. according to him, he sought someone level-headed like you, someone who could contribute in a meaningful way to the group. at first, it was strange how miguel seemed to possess an uncanny knowledge of your existence. he was well-versed in the details of your encounters, from the kingpin's collider incident to significant moments in your reality that held personal significance for you. he skillfully employed this knowledge to persuade you to make a decision.

despite your initial skepticism, you ultimately said yes, and that marked the beginning of a profound journey. it was through this experience that you delved into the enigmatic concept of the “arachno-humanoid-polymultiverse.” the intricate web of realities, the existence of canon events, and the watches that held the power of multiversal travel. it was akin to schrödinger's cat, where the multiverse and quantum mechanics transformed into theories or knowledge.

but miguel had this factual certainty in his beliefs, and his conviction remained steadfast. you couldn't shake the feeling that there were inherent flaws in his belief system. despite your reservations though, you decided to join. after all, there was no harm in aiding these "anomalies" in finding their way back to their rightful dimensions, was there?

and so, within this newfound spider society, you found yourself reunited with familiar faces like peter, peni, and even new people like hobie, london's very own spider-man.

you thought it was over and your life would continue as normal until miguel called you in.

“(y/n)? get to hq right now, i need you to prepare for another anomaly to be sent back!” he yelled through your watch suddenly.

he sounded out of breath, almost like he was mid running while calling you.

“señor o’hara? the hell, what work are you putting in right now? it sounds like you’re screaming at me from underwater,” you teased as you began to open a portal back to the society.

“now’s not the time for your jokes,” he groaned and you could visibly imagine the look of annoyance on his face. “jessica and i are on our way back with the vulture.”

before you could respond, he abruptly ended the call, leaving you hanging. a few minutes passed as you readied a secure enclosure using the advanced technology provided by the spider society. the vulture, regardless of the variant, always had a penchant for escape, making it crucial to have proper containment measures in place.

lost in your thoughts, you were startled when an imposing figure, resembling an ancient bird, materialized before you, bound in handcuffs. miguel, handling the vulture, swiftly placed him in the designated "jail" alongside the other detained anomalies

"thanks," he whispered, acknowledging your assistance.

you hummed in response as you leaned against the wall. “where’s jessica?” you asked.

miguel muttered under his breath, "with the new recruit," prompting you to raise an eyebrow.

"a new recruit? funny how you conveniently forgot to mention that while you were harassing me over a watch," you remarked playfully.

"i didn't want to," miguel retorted, turning to face you. "but jessica convinced me."

nodding, you stepped closer to him, ready to delve deeper into the matter. however, before you could continue, heavy footsteps approached, and your eyes widened in disbelief.

it was gwen.

"gwen?" you uttered, your voice barely above a whisper, your shock evident.

her eyes widened, but she remained silent and looked down at her feet.

jessica shot you a meaningful look, silently conveying that gwen had been through something difficult and needed space. respecting her unspoken request, you held your questions, allowing gwen the time she needed to process whatever she had experienced.

that was the most that could be said about your initial encounter. you didn't blame her at first for preferring to be alone herself. jessica gave you a brief summary of what happened when her father learned of her identity. she shared no specifics, but all she said was that it went horribly wrong and that she would be staying with the spider society for the time being. it was up till miguel gave her a watch and assigned you the job of assisting her in settling in to make it official.

with gentle care, you grasped gwen's wrist, making sure the watch fit properly on her arm.

“i know miguel probably told you a bunch of word vomit about the watch already,” you began, releasing your grip on the timepiece and gesturing to the buttons. “but just so you don’t get confused, here is the button that activates the watch, while the one below deactivates it. and the actual purpose of the watch, these dials, they're for inputting the assigned dimension number when you're traveling."

gwen responded with a soft hum, her gaze avoiding yours as you looked up. it was evident that she still struggled to find her place, feeling like an outsider. gwen noticed you staring up at her and redirected her focus to you, raising an eyebrow in response.

“are you okay?” you asked her.

she almost rolled her eyes a little. she didn’t want you to take pity on her, nor did she want the attention.

“do i look okay?” she snapped back.

gwen just wanted to be alone, wishing she could retreat into a sanctuary where she could escape the guilt and betrayal that weighed heavily on her heart.

you exhaled a sigh, understanding her irritation and how she desired to keep to herself for now.

“sorry for wanting to know if you were doing better,” you replied with a bit of an attitude. “i know this can be a lot, and i heard about what happened with your dad… just know it’s not your fault. we can talk whenever, if you want to. but i get it, right now you just want space.”

with those words, you turned to walk away, intending to respect gwen's wishes. but before you could step away completely, gwen reached out, gripping your shoulder and gently turning you around. in an unexpected moment, she embraced you tightly.

as you felt a slight dampness on your neck, you realized that gwen's tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“thanks,” her voice came out muffled against your suit. “i’m sorry for acting like a jerk. it really is nice to see you, (y/n). i just have so much going on in my head right now. it’s nice to know that someone understands.”

“you don’t have to thank me for this,” you assured her in a gentle whisper as you rubbed circles into her back.

reluctantly, gwen pulled away, swiftly wiping beneath her eyes and revealing a toothy grin, her endearing gap peeking through.

you swear you felt your heart skip a beat.

it was a little rocky at first. gwen struggled to fully accept your unwavering support, leading to occasional conflicts and disagreements. however, as time passed, she gradually eased into the dynamic between you, recognizing that you genuinely cared for her. with each passing day, gwen's guard began to lower, and she started sharing what happened with her dad, details about her life like how she played with her band, the mary janes, and more.

gradually, gwen found herself seeking refuge at your place more often, drawn to the comfort and solace it provided. drawn to you, even. it’s to the point where she doesn’t even crash at hobie’s anymore. the space you two shared became a sanctuary for gwen, where she could truly be herself, unburdened by the weight of her past.

you two had become close friends, best friends even, but there was something that unsettled your mind about it. whenever she was around, a mixture of nervousness and excitement coursed through your veins as the blood in your body rushed to your cheeks. her presence had a way of making you feel giddy, and you found a joy you weren’t used to in her company.

however, everything began to change when miles returned.

the incident involving the spot was an utter mess. to make a stupid story short, what miguel had defined as an anomaly turned out to be untrue. the canon events were not set in stone but rather common traits among the spider people from different dimensions. the notion of a dimension being "destroyed" was debunked, as dimensions lost in the spiderverse would reset and begin anew beyond the confines of the connected spider universes.

at first, her visit to his universe surprised you. instead of tracking down the spot, she chose to spend time with him, even meeting his parents. you knew they had a deep connection from the first time they met, but witnessing their reunion made it apparent just how close they had become. the way she became so engrossed in him made you feel a pang of jealousy, seeing how effortlessly he captured her attention.

you realized that you hadn't spent much time with her lately, which only heightened your anticipation for the day you had planned to hang out.

again, it was summer. this was the time to hang out with friends, be out late, just do things just for the memories.

as you swung home on your webs you smiled as you took in the world around you.

the sunset blanketed the streets as skyscrapers stood tall, casting long shadows that provided a respite from the heat. bodies of water nearby offered a refreshing breeze to those caught outside in their sweat. the city's iconic landmarks, from the statue of liberty to the empire state building, glisten in the sunlight, their grandeur amplified by the orange and purple skies above. the aroma of street vendors' delicacies fills the air as you jump from building to building, enticing passersby with the sizzle of hot dogs, the tangy zest of pretzels, and the sweet smell of snow cones being sold around the corner. the laughter of children on playgrounds, the strumming of guitars by buskers, and the rhythmic beat of joggers' footsteps became music to your ears.

a broad smile illuminated your face as your eyes fell upon your beloved apartment. with a nimble grace, you hopped onto the fire escape, effortlessly maneuvering your way through the open window. there, on your bed, was gwen, nestled comfortably amidst the pillows. she had been staying at your place for the week, adding an extra touch of warmth to the familiar surroundings.

"whatchu doing, hobo?" you playfully quipped, unable to contain your amusement as you made your presence known.

gwen responded with a good-natured smirk, her eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. "well, hello to you too," she replied, the faintest resistance to rolling her eyes evident in her tone.

stepping further into the room, you shrugged off your bag and placed it gently on your desk, allowing the weight of the day to slip away. the room seemed to exhale, embracing you in its familiar embrace.

curiosity sparked in your eyes as you observed gwen's relaxed state. "so, what did you do today?" you inquired, a genuine interest in her activities evident in your voice.

gwen shifted, propping herself up against the pillows, a contented smile gracing her lips. "well, miguel called me in a few times, but eventually i wasn't needed anymore, so i decided to spend the rest of the day here," she explained. "and you? how about you, my friendly neighborhood web-slinger? did you have any exciting adventures?"

the playful smile that adorned gwen's face mirrored your own, both of you relishing in the simplicity of these moments where you could just be two friends engaged in casual conversation.

"yeah, i did some stuff, but it seems villains nowadays want to take summer vacations," you joked, playfully stepping away from your desk and making your way toward her. "and now i have to change my clothes, so uh, leave," you said, adopting a faux-stern tone while placing your hands on your hips.

despite the fact that there was a perfectly fine extra room available, gwen had a penchant for invading your space, making your room her own. it had reached a point where it was hard to find your own belongings amidst her things, but you didn't mind. you cherished her company, understanding that she was still adjusting to living with her dad again, even after he had discovered her secret and grown to accept her.

"no thanks, i'm too comfortable now," gwen declared, shaking her head with a determined expression, refusing to budge.

you arched an eyebrow, your brow furrowing slightly as you licked your teeth. "fine."

turning away from gwen, you began to remove your shoes, followed by your gloves, setting them aside as you prepared to change.

as gwen noticed your actions, confusion flickered across her features, causing her to tilt her head slightly. "wait a minute, what are you doing?" she asked, raising her eyebrows curiously.

"well, i did say i was gonna change, but since you're too lazy to leave my bed," you replied, extending your arm behind you, "this is me, changing."

with a firm grip on the zipper, you slowly pulled it downward, revealing your bare back as you opened the closet door and stepped behind it, concealing your figure from gwen's gaze.

gwen scoffed at your teasing remark, her cheeks flushing with a hint of embarrassment. "hey, just because i enjoy some relaxation time doesn't mean i'm lazy," she protested, attempting to maintain her composure but failing in the face of your playful banter.

"better not peek or i'li put you out on the street," you warned.

"oh, please i’d like to see you try," gwen jested. she knew you were teasing, and she couldn't help but play along with you. "you wouldn't be able to, i'm too charming."

as you disappeared behind the closed closet doors, gwen's curiosity got the better of her, though she tried her best not to reveal her intrigue. unbeknownst to you, she leaned to the side, attempting to catch a glimpse of your face through the crack in the doors.

"gwen," you called out, your tone stern.

her reverie shattered, gwen snapped back to reality, quickly retreating to her corner.

"ehmm, i'm not peeking," she mumbled, her face flushing a deeper shade of red. her gaze remained fixed on the small opening between the closet doors, but she did her best to prevent you from noticing.

"it's my superhero instinct to be super observant and all that," gwen explained, trying to justify her actions. "nothing sketchy going on here.”

with a piercing glare, you continued to observe her.

"o-okay, fine, i'm sorry," she conceded, her voice softening as she averted her gaze.

meanwhile, you proceeded to slide your spider suit down to your feet, kicking it off onto the floor before selecting a fresh set of clothes to wear. closing the closet doors, you turned to face gwen.

"i hate you," you retorted, referencing her playful intrusion during your changing process.

gwen rolled her eyes, her mischievous nature still present as she couldn't resist a bit of teasing.

"i love you too," she responded, offering a sly wink and a smirk. "don't worry, i didn't see anything. just your face. it was still a nice view."

her comment caught you off guard, widening your eyes and leaving your mouth slightly agape.

"a nice view?" you repeated, more as a question, deciding to switch the topic. "you're not even the superhero of this earth, but yeah, i'm totally your damsel in distress. definitely not like i have powers of my own or anything," you replied sarcastically.

gwen's mischievous expression persisted as she focused her gaze on you, her eyes trailing over your body.

"yeah, well, i'm always spider-woman, fulfilling my duties as a superhero, which includes making sure to keep everyone safe, including a really pretty damsel like yourself," gwen responded with a playful tone.

you felt a warmth spread across your cheeks at her compliment, quickly turning away to hide your reaction. "so, gonna get ready now or what?" you asked, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

gwen raised an eyebrow, a hint of confusion in her expression. "ready for... what?" she asked.

"you literally don't remember us saying we were gonna go bowling?" you replied, slightly exasperated.

"what are you talking about? and doesn't that place open at 6?" gwen questioned, feeling she had missed a chapter on what was going on.

"gwen, it's 6:15," you informed her, hoping it would jog her memory.

her eyes widened in realization, and she quickly sprang into action, putting on her shoes and searching for her jacket.

"shit, shit, shit. i made plans with miles, i'm gonna be late. he's probably mad right now that i haven't shown up yet!" gwen spoke frantically, her mind racing and forgetting about your prior arrangement.

you furrowed your brow in annoyance and a tinge of anger. "gwen, what do you mean you made plans with miles when you said we'd do something today?" you blurted out, feeling a sense of disappointment.

gwen looked at you with a blank expression, scratching her head as she tried to recall what you were talking about. suddenly, her eyes widened in surprise as she realized her mistake.

"bowling? oh god, i completely forgot," gwen exclaimed, still searching for her jacket and watch. "my time management is so bad."

you crossed your arms as you felt your lips pout, feeling a mix of frustration and hurt. "gwen, you always do this. you cancel plans on me, and we don't even hang out anymore besides when you're using my bed to sleep. it's always miles this and miles that. it's getting tiring," you expressed with a bitter tone.

gwen's expression shifted to one of hurt, and she fell silent for a moment, taking in your words.

"hey, i'm sorry... i know it might seem like i don't care when i cancel on you, but that's not true," she said, her voice softening. "i just get caught up in all my superhero stuff... miles and i are really close, you know? like a team."

"yeah, a team," you repeated, pressing your tongue against your cheek as you handed gwen her jacket. "then don't keep him waiting because of me," you said, walking towards the bedroom door.

"hey, hey, hey, take a chill pill," gwen retorted, her voice reflecting her own irritation. "i didn't cancel our plans on purpose. yes, it's true that i do spend more time with miles than you. but he's the reason why i'm able to be the hero that i am today! you should be grateful for that."

gwen turned around, facing you directly, her expression firm and strict. "and by the way, you're the one who always volunteers to let me stay at your place. don't act like a victim now."

you looked at her, a mix of shock and anger coursing through you. "gwen, i am not the one," you declared, pointing a finger up at her. "so trust me when i say you don't want to start with me."

gwen's anger flared, but she made an effort to regain her composure, even though it was clear she was on the verge of losing it.

"hey, don't point your finger at me like that!" she snapped back.

you could see how agitated she is. her lips were slightly curled and her chin jutted out as she narrowed her eyes.

"really? is this how this conversation is going to go?" gwen asked in a hushed tone, her expression shifting to a more saddened one. "you know what? fine. i'll go."

"yeah, i think you should," you agreed, watching her dial the numbers 1610 to miles' dimension.

gwen looked at you as if she wanted to argue further but realized it wasn't worth it. she swiftly opened the portal, ready to leave.

she gave you a sharp nod. "okay then, if that's how you want it," gwen stated, keeping her tone as neutral as possible, although it was evident you had affected her.

after a few seconds of tense silence, she stepped through the portal, disappearing from the room. maybe spending some time in a different dimension with miles would help clear her mind.

hours had passed since your fight with gwen, and the tension still lingered in the air. restlessness had settled deep within you, making it impossible to find solace in sleep. as the late hour ticked away, hunger gnawed at your stomach, prompting you to abandon the confines of your covers. retrieving your phone to check the time, you couldn't help but be shocked by the display.

"ay, is it really only 12?" you asked yourself, shocked as it felt like you have been losing the wrestling match of sleep for hours.

making your way to the kitchen, you sought refuge in the act of preparing a mug brownie, a familiar and comforting midnight snack. the process was quick, taking only a couple of minutes and requiring simple ingredients like brown sugar and the usual components of a microwaveable treat.

a sigh escaped your lips as you reached for the brown sugar from the cabinet, your mind drifting into introspection. the summer had been a tumultuous mix of highs and lows, with moments where tears seemed to dominate your days. juggling the responsibilities of the spider society and your personal commitments has left little time for the company of friends, leaving you longing for more meaningful connections. and when you did manage to spend time with friends, it often revolved around the spider society, missions, and the likes of hobie, margo, and gwen.

"gwen," you murmured aloud, her name rolling off your tongue as thoughts of her flooded your mind.

she had an undeniable hold on you, like a game of cat and mouse that seemed to stretch throughout the entire summer. she consumed your time, yet offered so little in return. it felt as if she knew you better than anyone, even yourself, effortlessly providing comfort and care. however, those moments of intimacy were fleeting, slipping through your fingers before you could fully grasp them.

the idyllic picture of the perfect summer played out in your mind—a montage of beach days, rooftop nights, and the presence of everyone you longed to be with. while you did experience some of those moments, basking in the warmth of the sun with friends, engaging in sleepovers filled with hobie's terrifying tales borrowed from reddit, and swinging across rooftops while gazing at the stars, something essential felt missing. and even now, that void remains unfilled.

that something is gwen, you now realize.

despite her being so close, she always seemed just out of reach. whether it was strolling along the shoreline with miles at the beach, sharing secretive giggles under the covers while the rest of the group debated movie choices during sleepovers, or simply being in the same space, gwen was always by miles' side.

you had tried to stand by her, to be there for her and enjoy her presence, but it seemed as though you could never make it stick.

the sudden eruption of vibrant colors and a jarring electric sound snapped you out of your reverie. your heart skipped a beat as you recognized it for what it was—a portal. and you knew exactly who had just arrived.

preparing yourself mentally, you squeezed your eyes shut, stirring the mixture with a spoon before hastily popping it into the microwave.

when gwen appeared in the kitchen, she looked a bit tired and drained, even though a little excitement was still radiating from her body. she had her hands in her pockets as she walked into the kitchen, her usual confident and cheeky attitude nowhere to be seen. gwen was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect. as soon as her eyes caught a glimpse of you, she froze in her tracks, her eyes getting wide as they darted all over you, looking for any sign that you were mad at her. it took a while for her to summon the courage to break the silence.

"i um- i'm sorry," gwen finally began, her voice soft, her gaze lowered. even in the dim light, you could discern the sincerity in her eyes. "what i said earlier and how i treated you… i shouldn't have."

rather than responding verbally, you nodded, acknowledging her apology while allowing a moment of silence to pass. the sound of her footsteps growing louder indicated her gradual approach.

"what are you doing up so late?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow. "it's almost midnight. shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

a sigh escaped your lips, her presence a stark reminder of the reason behind your sleeplessness.

"couldn't sleep, so i'm having a snack," you replied in a monotone voice.

gwen tilted her head to the side. "okay, i'ii take that at face value for now," she replied, a small smirk appearing on her face before quickly fading as she walked closer to you.

after a long pause, she finally spoke up. "look. i know that we had a bit of an argument earlier," she stated, voice barley above a whisper. "i just want you to know that i didn't mean anything i said,'' gwen added.

"didn't mean it, or didn't mean to say it?" you questioned, finally turning around to face her directly, allowing her to see your expression instead of just your back.

"both," gwen muttered, feeling like she was digging herself a deeper hole with each word.

you remained silent, giving her the space to continue.

"look, i'm sorry, okay?" she implored, raising her eyebrows. her tone sounded desperate, as if she was really hoping that you would just forgive her. but she knew that you weren't the type to just forget what had happened.

"but i... i'm still your friend. whether you like it or not," she added with a faint chuckle.

arching an eyebrow at her hesitant delivery, you maintained your silence, allowing her to take the lead in the conversation.

"it's not like i was on a date with him or anything like that. i just forgot about our plans. i didn't mean to prioritize him over you. it's just- i owe him a lot. he's special to me, you know," gwen explained, her voice tinged with a touch of regret as you turned away again, biting your lip.

jealousy churned within you as her words filled the air, the mention of miles leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. it felt as though your heart twisted with each passing moment.

"i'm really, really sorry. i promise it won't happen again, okay?" gwen pleaded, her voice dripping with sincerity, even as you maintained your facade of indifference.

"i know how you see miles, you don't have to explain your feelings to me. even if it was a date, why would i care? hope you two had fun," you assured her, disregarding her promise not to bail on you again.

gwen looked genuinely upset when you turned your back to her and shrugged her words away. she didn't want you to feel like you'd been put on the shelf in favor of miles.

"i had fun, yeah," she eventually replied, not sure if you were genuinely interested in hearing about her time with miles.

gwen really did want to make up with you, but to her, it seemed like you were still angry.

you emitted a small hum in response, and the microwave dinged, indicating that the mug brownie was ready.

she took another step closer and placed her hands on your shoulders, trying to catch your attention. her expression was filled with concern.

"hey, is something wrong?" gwen asked you, her eyebrows moving up together to form a small frown.

for at least a few minutes, there was no sound; the only thing breaking the silence was the occasional gust of wind coming from the open window and the sound of you opening the utensil draw for a spoon and eating away at your dessert.

“nothing, i feel fine,” you replied dryly.

the silence and your straight face didn't exactly give gwen anything to work with. it was obvious that something was wrong, but you refused to admit it. you were a very stubborn person, after all.

"you're so full of crap, you know that, right?" gwen replied, turning you around so that you had to look at her.

she wasn't mad at you. well, she certainly was a couple of hours ago, but right at this moment, she was mostly worried about you. you seemed so distant, almost as if you wanted her to leave.

she tightened her grip on your shoulders, not trying to hurt you, but to make it clear that she meant what she was saying. even though your face remained expressionless, gwen could read you like a book. she didn't let go of your shoulders and just kept looking at you, the concern on her face growing.

you gasped, taken aback by how she turned you around

"gwen, literally what do you want me to say to you?" you asked, annoyance seeping into your voice.

"you can say the truth, for starters," she stated.

"well to start, for you to say i'm the one full of crap is hilarious. i said i feel fine, now let go of me," you added, attempting but failing to escape her firm grasp.

gwen felt her expression changing as she heard your words, the look of worry slowly turning into one of annoyance. a part of her wanted to snap back at you, but she remained silent once again.

"no," gwen replied, "no, you're not fine, and you know it."

she took a deep breath and looked straight into your eyes, trying to make you listen to her.

"miles means a lot to me— i'd even say he's one of the most important people in my life. but that doesn't mean that he comes before my other friends, and you're definitely one of my friends. i shouldn't have canceled our plans, but..."

gwen looked at you to study your face for any signs that you were hearing her out, but all she was left with was this grim and dark look in your eye as your lips faintly quivered.

she shook her head. "you know what? just forget it. i don't want to keep talking about it. i'ii leave you alone now."

"gwen, i'm not doing this with you right now. goodnight," you declared, placing the cup aside and attempting to walk past her.

gwen was stunned for a few moments as she looked at you, visibly disappointed. for a moment, she was about to protest, but then changed her mind.

she wanted to say something, but she realized that you didn't want to hear it anyway. her grip slowly tightened as her eyes narrowed, but then a deep breath escaped her and she let go.

gwen watched as you left the room, her face filled with confusion and slight frustration. but after everything that had happened tonight, she decided that it was best to leave you alone instead of forcing a conversation you clearly didn't want to have right now.

you woke up feeling a bit hazy after the events of the previous night. as the sun peeked through your curtains, momentarily blinding you, you blinked your eyes a few times to adjust. the silence in the house felt unsettling as you sat up, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep.

making your way through the hallway, you treaded lightly, not wanting to disturb anyone in the house. you headed towards the guest bedroom, hoping to find gwen there. opening the door, you called out her name, but the room was empty. not only was she not in bed, but her belongings were also gone.

a sense of disappointment washed over you as you closed the door, realizing that gwen had left. uncertain of the reason behind her sudden departure, you let out a deep breath and decided to focus on your responsibilities as a hero. it was time to suit up and check on the city before heading to headquarters for the day.

that's exactly what you did. you patrolled the streets of new york, swinging through the familiar cityscape, keeping an eye out for any signs of trouble. along the way, you checked in with miguel to see if he needed any assistance. however, he seemed preoccupied with his own tasks, so you respectfully left him to his work.

feeling the need for some solitude, you made your way to the top of the spider society structure—a tall, unique building that provided a secluded spot away from prying eyes. as you stood at the pinnacle, overlooking the sprawling city, a sense of calm washed over you. the blue skies and gentle breeze offered a momentary respite from the chaos of your thoughts.

using your web-slingers, you effortlessly stuck to the side of the building, skillfully weaving a silk hammock for yourself. nestling into the cozy cocoon, you took a deep breath, savoring the natural scents that filled the air. the peacefulness of the moment enveloped you as you gazed at the breathtaking landscape before you, allowing yourself to unwind and find solace in the stillness.

“(y/n), yer out here?” you heard a voice call out for you.

you let out an audible groan. of course, hobie of all people would come looking for you.

“imma take that as a yes,” he yelled out, swinging down and landing on the hammock next to me with ease.

"oh, hey hobie, what's good?" you asked him, your voice weak and strained from everything going on.

there was so much on your mind it made your brain feel like mush and you didn't know what to do. you just wanted to bury myself in your bed back home and rot away until the day reset. but you knew that wasn’t the healthy thing to do.

hobie’s brow raised at your sad expression, his smirk disappearing. "i dunno if anything is good. you don't look too hot," he commented. his voice was surprisingly calm and caring, contrasting the punk rocker persona. "are ya alright, bruv?"

you looked at him, leaning your head on your palm as you gave him a soft smile.

“it’s… really nothing,” you whispered.

it's clear you're not being entirely honest with him. in fact, you can see his eyes narrow and his forehead crease, as if he can read right through your response like a book.

“i don’t buy it,” hobie sighs as he puts his hands in his pocket and leans back to make himself comfortable. “there's nobody around us, you can talk to me."

you contemplate confiding in him, but ultimately his infectious energy wins you over.

“well, if you really care to listen. i got into a fight with gwen and when i woke up she was gone," you explained. "but now, when i check her location she's always at miles universe or her own...i think she's crashing with him now too. and that's what she used to do with me. the thing is, i don't even hate miles but just when she mentions her name i get this feeling i cabt explain,” you confess.

"oof." hobie frowns. he hates hearing that people aren't doing too great, and it seems to bother him how you don't even know how you feel.

he could do with some insight on these subjects as well. "that's rough, mate. y'do know she's not doing that to avoid ya, right?"

you couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh.

“i honestly don’t know, and i don’t even think it matters anymore,” you admitted. “but it’s like when i’m near her, i get this warm feeling? i don’t know how to describe it. we’re best friends, well, were at this point. every time i got near her tho, she made me feel all giddy and nervous. maybe i was excited to have someone like her in my life or something.”

he looks at you with a knowing look, like he seems to have the answer.

"y're in love with her? because that kinda sounds like it to me," hobie states.

he's straight forward. no sense dancing about these things type of attitude.

"what?" you yelled out of nowhere, almost choking on your own saliva. that was the last thing you expected him to say.

“hobie, you move a lil’ too fast. love is a real strong word,” you mumble, covering your face with your hands from embarrassment.

he laughs, and nudges your shoulder a bit. "i can see it on your face, (y/n). ain't got a lotta experience myself, but you're crushing on her real hard."

you hesitantly move your hands from your face and meet his gaze.

'hey, you don't gotta deny it,” he teased, enjoying how flushed your face looked. "you like her, don'tcha?"

"i do, but we haven't talked in weeks and i'm starting to think that she likes miles," you admit. "she just sees me as a best friend that helped her through a bad time. but miles and her are the same. they have a special connection, she even said so herself to me." you sigh in defeat.

hobie can tell that you're hurting, and he doesn't want to see you so down over her. there's a moment of silence, before the guy nudges you again.

"aye, but that's all the more reason to tell her how you feel,” hobie gives his advice matter-of-factually. "tell her how you feel. if she says she likes miles, it'll be a bit awkward. but you'll be glad you got it off your chest. and if she feels the same as you, what have you got to lose?"

"okay. you're right. i don't know when tho, since we haven't talked since our fight. but if we aren't even on speaking terms… might as well say how i feel," you state, moved my his advice.

"atta girl. i believe in ya,” hobie hypes you up. "now, let's get you home cus those bags under yer eyes makin you look like a racoon. you've already had a hard week. you need a break."

you smile, about to respond until you see miles coming up from the distance as hobie gives him an inviting wave.

"hey guys! uh, miguel sent me to get you two since g- never mind actually, it’s not important. he said something about a mandatory meeting," he stated.

"mandatory? the hell's that supposed to mean?" hobie questioned, the spider-punk's tone skeptical as always.

you really wanted to go home for once and not deal with bullshit, but you might not have a choice.

“ight so i guess this is happening now,” you sulk. it isn't much of a surprise. you weren't expecting miles to be the one to walk up to you both, though, especially since miguel of all people sent him. “whatever, let’s get this over with.”

you, hobie, and miles entered the headquarters, exchanging greetings with your fellow spider people as you made your way towards the boardroom. there was a mix of anticipation and apprehension in the air as you stepped into the room, scanning the space until your gaze landed on gwen. your eyes widened involuntarily, a rush of emotions flooding over you at the sight of her. the tension between you had created a tangled web of nervousness and anxiety, leaving you unsure of how to navigate the encounter. however, before you could dwell on these feelings, miguel wasted no time and commenced the meeting, diverting your attention.

gwen, positioned in a quiet corner of the room, watched you as you entered. the moment you spotted her, she looked away, avoiding your gaze.

gwen sat across the large conference table from you. she couldn't help but notice the look on your face when you spotted her. was that relief or anxiety? sadnesses, even. perhaps it was a little bit of everything. as your eyes locked with hers, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you were feeling the same as she was. she hoped she wasn't projecting her own feelings onto you, but seeing you after not talking for so long brought up some complicated emotions in her heart.

as the meeting began, her expression remained neutral, but her mind was filled with a myriad of thoughts. she was wondering what could happen after this meeting with you.

while miguel led the discussion, you tried to focus on him, but a nagging sensation tugged at the corner of your vision. your face instinctively turned towards the source, and there, you met with a familiar watercolor blue.

gwen felt a chill run down her spine as her body tensed up, realizing that you caught her staring at you. as she turned her head towards miguel, her thoughts kept wandering back to you. it was also obvious that something was bothering her, as she constantly shifted in her seat.

she was still trying to think about how to approach you after so long. the situation was incredibly awkward and tense, but all she wanted was to make things right between you both again.

however, even as her attention seemed to shift elsewhere, you couldn't resist staring back at gwen. your gaze lingered on her, studying the intricate details that made up her unique appearance—from her eyebrow piercing to her dyed pink tips and her tousled blonde hair. unafraid to acknowledge her presence, you made sure she noticed your unwavering gaze.

embarrassment flooded gwen's face as she felt your eyes locked on her from across the room. despite her attempts to steal glimpses of you, she couldn't help but feel a knot of nervousness twisting in her stomach. her cheeks flushed with warmth, and her hands anxiously fiddled with the hem of her jacket.

the magnetic pull between you both was undeniable, and gwen couldn't resist the urge to turn her head in your direction. it felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving her breathless. her body seemed to melt, her heart threatening to burst with the weight of emotions she struggled to comprehend. doubts crept into her mind, questioning whether her feelings were simply illusions, born out of a desperate desire for connection.

she tried to ignore you. tried to make herself remember all the negative things about you, and all the reasons why you two shouldn't be friends again, but it was so hard. she felt like she was back to square one, right at the start when you talked for the first time.

the constant glances and stares made gwen feel all kinds of things she couldn't quite describe. it felt as though you were engaged in a silent battle, yet at the same time, a bond between you through the unspoken language of your eyes.

as gwen's mouth grew dry, she experienced a sensation she hadn't felt in quite some time. it was a mix of nerves and excitement that made her feel like a typical teenager, caught up in the throes of uncertainty and anticipation.

she felt as if you were the only person in this room right now.

despite her attempts to ignore you and focus on miguel's words, gwen found it increasingly challenging to follow the meeting. and then, once again, she felt the weight of your gaze on her. turning her head, she realized that you had shifted your attention away from miguel, fully directing it towards her.

"(y/n), can you share with the others the observation you made the other day?" miguel's voice pierced through the air, jolting you back to the reality of the meeting. the sound of his words broke the spell, prompting you to refocus your attention on the task at hand.

gwen breathed a sigh of relief as miguel called for you to speak up, but she still couldn't take her eyes off you for even a second. she tried to listen to your speech, but it was pretty hard to focus on anything other than you.

she felt you turn your gaze away from her, but she couldn't stop herself from sneaking her eyes back towards you a moment later. your face looked so serious and professional, but at the same time, there was a spark in your eyes that she couldn't miss.

she watched as you addressed miguel with confidence and conviction, all the while feeling her heart beat faster and faster.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, the meeting came to a close, drawing collective sighs of relief from the attendees. miguel couldn't resist making a snarky comment about the length of the meeting, eliciting a tired chuckle from the group. the weight of the intense atmosphere lifted, if only momentarily, allowing for a brief respite from the emotional tension that had filled the room.

gwen waited for everyone to leave, and then approached you as you were already halfway out of the room.

'hey," she called out to you quietly, almost as if she didn't want to disturb the silence. "can i talk to you for a sec?"

you turned back from facing hobie as he gave you a knowing look. slowly, you shifted back to gwen.

“yeah, sure,” you replied dryly.

hobie let out a deep hum. “see ya both,” he told the two of you as he dropped his shoulders and strutted away.

gwen watched as hobie walked away, waiting until he was out of sight before looking back at you, her expression serious. taking a small breath, she attempted to collect her thoughts, knowing that she had so much to say but fearing the possibility of stumbling over her words once again.

"i know we haven't talked in a while which is my fault," she began, "but i want to apologize for... well, everything."

her eyes locked with yours, searching for any sign of your reaction. but before delving further, she felt the need to make one thing abundantly clear.

"i still consider you to be one of my closest friends," she uttered softly, hoping her words would reach you.

in response, you offered gwen a comforting smile, even if it didn't entirely reflect your true emotions.

"gwen, it's alright. you've already apologized, and i don't need to hear it again," you reassured her.

her smile widened at your response, yet she couldn't help but detect a subtle nuance in your tone.

"i know you don't need to hear it again," gwen replied awkwardly, unable to fully hide the excitement that was starting to creep into her voice. "but i need to say it myself. i do care about you. a lot."

"thanks," you replied, your arms welcoming her as you opened them wide. "it's alright, okay? friends?" you asked, your aura radiating a warmth to it.

yeah, you weren't completely happy about the fight or how it seemed to have no real resolution. but seeing gwen so torn up about it made you want to just reconcile as you kept hobie’s advice echoed in the back of your head. she seemed genuine in not making the same mistakes again, so what’s the harm in second chances?

a small smile graced gwen's face as she stepped forward, her arms encircling your waist as she finally felt the embrace she had long yearned for. the sensation of your skin on her fingertips and the familiar scent that enveloped her brought a sense of comfort she had sorely missed. she buried her face in your shoulder, an electric tingle coursing through her body. for some reason, this hug was different from all the ones that she shared with you in the past. maybe it was because she was aware of how she felt right now. or maybe it was because of this overwhelming feeling of just wanting to be close to you again.

"friends," she said, nodding vigorously, "friends."

a flush of warmth spread across your face as gwen's hands made contact with you—a sensation you hadn't experienced in quite some time. slowly, you pulled back from the embrace, gazing up at her with a renewed sense of excitement.

"wanna swing around?" you suggested, eager to make up for lost time and create new memories together.

gwen's response was immediate, her enthusiasm palpable. "yes, please!" she exclaimed, her eagerness shining through. the destination didn't matter as long as it was just the two of you.

a smile never left gwen's face as she replied, "yes!" her voice exuded genuine joy. "i mean, yeah, i'd love to. it's been so long!"

caught off guard by her unabashed enthusiasm, you met her gaze with a teasing look.

"did i make my answer too obvious?" she asked, her expression tinged with a hint of embarrassment.

you couldn't help but let out a loud cackle, a sound that had been absent during your time apart. god, you had missed her.

"nah, not at all. i didn't even think you wanted to come with me," you teased, a playful sparkle in your eyes.

gwen's promises had proven to be short-lived, falling far short of expectations. as the summer neared its end and the seasons began to shift, you couldn't help but notice a change in gwen's behavior. what once were hangouts with others gradually transformed into solitary encounters, until eventually, the two of you stopped hanging out altogether, once again.

sitting atop the brooklyn bridge during lunchtime, you glanced at your watch, a gift from hobie. the vendor had generously given you a hot dog on the house, but your mind wandered, and curiosity got the better of you. you decided to check gwen's location on the watch, only to discover she was on earth 1610.

"i can't catch a break at this point," you muttered to yourself, realizing she seemed to be with mikes again.

feeling a sense of boredom, you decided to check hobie's location on the watch as well. however, your brows furrowed in confusion as you noticed he, too, was on earth 1610.

sitting up abruptly, your attention was caught off guard when you saw margo and pavitr's locations aligning with earth 1610 as well. it was an unexpected revelation. before you could process it fully, a call came in from miguel.

"(y/n), report to earth 1610. an anomaly from earth 65 has materialized," he urgently explained before abruptly hanging up, leaving no time for further explanations.

without hesitation, you dialed earth 1610 and activated the portal. as you jumped through, you were instantly transported to earth 1610, only to be greeted by a scene of utter chaos. your eyes widened in shock at the sight of a massive floating head terrorizing brooklyn.

swiftly swinging through the chaos, your gaze scanned the area until you spotted miles, gwen, and margo. pavitr and hobie were engaged in assisting with citizen control.

"what the hell is going on here?" you exclaimed, addressing the bewildered trio. before they could respond, the colossal floating head turned to face the three of you. a realization hit you like a ton of bricks.

"is that... is that fucking donald trump?" you blurted out, incredulous at the sight before you.

suddenly, everything fell into place. donald trump, ironically enough, appeared to be the m.o.d.o.k. variant in gwen's universe, and somehow, he had glitched into miles' reality.

"does anyone have a plan?" you urgently asked, realizing the gravity of the situation and the need for immediate action.

you were completely right: it was, indeed, donald trump. but he looked nothing like the president from your timeline. he looked... deformed.

“i think i know a way to stop him!" gwen shouted, immediately swinging over to miles.

you couldn't help but feel baffled and frustrated by gwen's apparent disregard for your presence. as she went off searching for miles, you swung after her, annoyed by her dismissive attitude.

"hey, don't you want to stick with the rest of us?" you asked, irritation lacing your words. you had lost sight of miles and margo while evading m.o.d.o.k.'s attacks, and it was crucial to regroup.

"oh, sorry!" gwen quickly replied, finally noticing that you had followed her. her focus had been solely on finding miles and stopping the giant-headed donald trump monstrosity.

after locating miles and catching his attention, gwen wasted no time in sharing her plan, hoping it would be enough to neutralize the colossal floating threat.

"we need to find the panel at the back of his armor and shut it down," she explained, her voice resolute.

you walked over to join them, your annoyance evident as you stomped over. "gwen, you can't be serious with that plan," you told her, hands on your hips. "it's way too risky, even for you. look at what's happening around here!"

gwen looked at you, defending her plan while meeting your gaze. "what else do we have?" she retorted. "the longer we take, the more damage trump might do to this universe! we have to act fast, and we can't afford to waste time searching for alternatives!"

though confusion flickered across miles' face, gwen had faith that he would support her plan.

"we have to do this," she asserted, her voice firm.

"gwen, listen. if you're feeling guilty about trump being here, now is not the time," you yelled in frustration. "i understand you want to help miles, but respectfully, this is the dumbest plan i've ever heard from you! it's close combat, which poses a significant risk. he's too massive and unpredictable. just look at the path of destruction he's leaving behind with his flailing legs. jumping on him could endanger innocent bystanders, including yourself!"

however, judging by the expression on gwen's face, it was clear she wasn't buying your reasoning.

"what do you expect us to do otherwise?” gwen snapped, her frustration now boiling over. "if we don't tackle this head-on, this donald trump will bring complete destruction to this earth! can't you see what's happening here?"

she gestured to the chaos surrounding them, emphasizing the dire situation.

"you have a better plan?" gwen challenged. "please, enlighten us! come up with something new, because time is running out."

before you could offer an alternative, gwen grabbed miles' arm and swung off with him. you let out an aggravated yell, following closely behind, but by the time you caught up with them, they had already set their plan in motion.

gwen quickly assessed her surroundings, searching for anything that could aid them in the battle against m.o.d.a.a.k. her gaze landed on a nearby construction crane, and she swung next to it, her mind working swiftly.

turning to miles, she spoke calmly, "can you throw me up as high as possible? with enough speed, i might be able to knock him off balance."

the sight was disheartening. miles and gwen struggled in their attempts to combat the floating head, who grew more frustrated by their relentless presence. suddenly, he started spinning frantically after miles accidentally touched a component apart from his tech suit. it sparked an idea in your mind on how to neutralize him.

however, your attention shifted as you noticed pavitr in harm's way, with the airborne m.o.d.a.a.k. hurtling towards him.

gwen swiftly recognized the imminent danger and reacted in a split second. she shot a web at m.o.d.a.a.k., specifically targeting an area of his body that wasn't shielded by his armor. the web hit its mark, sending him flying backward, crashing into a nearby building.

the building happened to be under construction, which meant there were no people inside, providing a sense of relief. yet, your eyes widened as you realized the structure couldn't withstand the weight of the massive m.o.d.a.a.k. the building crumbled and collapsed into the water.

everyone swung over to the site, landing on the debris of the fallen building.

"pavitr, you alright?" you asked, giving him a friendly shoulder nudge.

"you know it," he replied with his usual cheery demeanor.

suddenly, all eyes turned to the water as it began bubbling before abruptly stopping.

"electronics don't do too well in water, so... we should be good, right?" miles nervously asked, his voice laced with uncertainty. you turned your head to face him, giving him a blank look. "yeah, i didn't think so either," he admitted weakly.

bravely, you approached the edge where the water met the debris, peering down cautiously.

"be careful!" margo called out from behind you.

you gazed into the seemingly empty depths.

"soooo, is the big guy down or what?" hobie asked, breaking the silence as you remained silent, observing the sea.

before you could respond, an enraged m.o.d.a.a.k. emerged from the water, more aggressive and determined than ever. the battle was far from over.

"ummm... guys?" she asked, turning back to look at you, miles, hobie, margo, and pavitr. "i think we might have a problem..."

suddenly, the m.o.d.a.a.k. unleashed a violent wave of water towards the group, knocking them all down. gwen felt herself being pulled away by the force of the water, but managed to reach for one of her spider-webs and quickly shoot it towards the trump variant.

you swiftly shot out a web and grabbed onto a rusted pole nearby, pulling yourself up to a vantage point where you could assess the area.

"i've had enough of this," you muttered to yourself as you dialed margo's number on your watch.

"margo, are you hurt?" you asked, concern evident in your voice.

she chuckled dryly in response. "you think i'm gonna be taken down by an orange big baby bigot? you've got another thing coming."

you laughed, appreciating margo's indomitable spirit. "listen, i need you to see if you can compromise his software. try to hack into it and disrupt his flight control," you instructed.

"you got it," margo replied sharply, her determination palpable. you ended the call and proceeded to contact the rest of the team.

"listen up, new plan," you announced, ensuring everyone was on the line. "margo is going to hack into the software m.o.d.a. a. k. is using to control his flight. meanwhile, the rest of us will lead him to a more remote area, away from the general public. once margo can disable his flight, we'll surround him and weave a web cocoon to immobilize him. understood?"

you received agreements from everyone except gwen, who seemed lost in her thoughts. miles tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"gwen, you good?" he asked, concern in his voice. "you haven't said anything this whole time."

"oh, right!" gwen replied, sounding distracted. "yeah, i'm in."

with the plan set, everyone sprang into action.

margo skillfully hacked into his software without detection. "get ready," she warned, as she began manipulating his flight controls.

m.o.d.a. a.k. started moving erratically, flying upward, downward, and in multiple directions, resembling a sickening spectacle. then suddenly, he went limp and began descending toward the ground.

"now!" you yelled, signaling the team to surround him. together, you spun thick webs that enveloped his body, forming a sturdy silk cocoon.

after securing m.o.d.a. a. k. in place, you all worked together to create a stable landing spot made entirely of spider-webs, ensuring the safety of both m.o.d.a.k. and the surrounding area.

as citizens gathered around, witnessing the strange sight, they began applauding. you and your team exchanged small waves, acknowledging their appreciation.

"thank god..." miles exclaimed, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "nice job, everyone."

you all let out tired huffs and puffs, drained from the rush of adrenaline and the physical exertion. however, the relief of the battle's conclusion was short-lived as miguel arrived in an aircraft from headquarters, seemingly to transport m.o.d.a. a. k. away. lab personnel from the spider society surrounded the scene, evacuating nearby civilians from the cocooned monstrosity in the middle of the street.

as everyone else dispersed, miles made his way to the chief of police to provide an explanation of what had transpired. meanwhile, you found yourself engaged in a conversation with miguel, providing him with a detailed report of the events. from a distance, you spotted gwen standing alone in front of the m.o.d.a.a.k. cocoon, piquing your curiosity.

after concluding your conversation with miguel, you approached gwen, calling out to get her attention. however, she didn't respond, deep in her own thoughts.

frustration welled up within you, and you couldn't hold it in any longer. "gwen, what the hell is your problem with me?" you pressed, your voice rising.

gwen was startled by your sudden outburst, turning to face you with a confused expression. "hm? what are you talking about?" she asked, her eyes narrowing as she tried to comprehend your question. "why would i have a problem with you?"

just as the argument between you and gwen began to escalate, miles returned after speaking with the chief of police, sensing the tension in the air. he decided to intervene and find out what was happening.

"what's going on?" miles asked, his voice tinged with concern.

annoyance etched across your face, you directed your frustration towards miles. "nothing's wrong, except for the fact that you and gwen were acting like damn idiots out there!" you snapped, taking a step closer to him. "do you realize how many people could've gotten hurt? do you understand the damage you caused, the buildings that were destroyed?"

your anger was evident, fueled by gwen's apparent neglect of your friendship and her persistent focus on miles. it seemed they always wanted to take matters into their own hands, disregarding any collaborative efforts. their plan had been flawed.

miles took a step back, his expression a mix of surprise and defensiveness. "look, i understand that you're mad. but we had to do whatever we could to stop that freak," he replied calmly, trying to maintain composure. "we had to act quickly, you know that. and you can call me an idiot all you want, but in the end, didn't we succeed?"

"we? we didn't do much, you know," you mocked, pointing a finger towards the trapped m.o.d.a.a.k. cocoon and then back to your face. "modak is trapped because of me! while you two were off doing whatever the hell you pleased, i came up with the plan to capture him. you needed to listen to me, but no! you two lovebirds were lost in your own world," you spat out, frustration evident in your words.

gwen felt her heart sink as your anger turned towards her, accompanied by an intense glare. you accused miles and her of being irresponsible during the battle, highlighting the near catastrophe caused by miles' actions.

"hey, wait a minute," gwen replied, her irritation growing as you hurled insults at her and miles. "miles and i did our best, okay? we helped stop that m.o.d.a.a.k., remember?" she looked you in the eye, defending both herself and miles. "why can't you ever acknowledge our efforts?"

you scoffed at gwen's comment, unable to fathom her perspective. "have you ever thought of doing stand-up comedy, gwen? because you're a literal joke if you think you helped. does provoking him to the point where he nearly caused a mini tsunami in brooklyn not ring a bell? because that shit just happened! and how the hell do you expect me to acknowledge your efforts when you don't even acknowledge me?" you shouted, your frustration boiling over.

the argument had clearly escalated from a disagreement about the mission to a more personal confrontation. miles, feeling the tension, awkwardly decided to retreat from the conversation. "um... you two... i should... i'll just... go," he mumbled, attempting to diffuse the situation and give both of you some space.

you two turned your gaze back to each other, the weight of the argument hanging heavily in the air. the tension between you was palpable as you stood there, hurt and frustrated.

"okay, fine, maybe i don't acknowledge you enough," gwen replied, her voice tinged with a mixture of defensiveness and honesty. "but that doesn't change the fact that we're friends. we're on a team, dammit. i thought that we trusted each other."

you crossed your arms, your frustration still evident. "gwen, how can i trust you when you can't even follow through on simple promises?"

gwen looked at you, her brows furrowing in confusion as she crossed her arms in return. "what promises?" she asked, genuinely puzzled.

you let out a sigh, running your hands through your hair in frustration. "this whole summer, you've barely spent any time with me. and after our fight, you said you wouldn't bail on plans anymore, but you just did it again. it feels like you don't care to make an effort or you simply don't want to see me. do you even realize how much it hurts? all i've wanted is to be around you, but every time we do, it feels like you're running away, like you're scared. i just wanted to hold your hand, to feel close to you. but instead, i feel like i've been chasing after you tryna cling to you like a fucking leech, and it's exhausting. it makes me question if it was all a waste of time. so tell me, am i a waste of time to you?" you confessed, your voice filled with a mix of anger and vulnerability.

gwen's initial defensive stance softened as your words sank in. deep down, she was scared of commitment, afraid of the responsibilities and stress that come with close relationships. but now she realized the impact her actions were having on you.

a flicker of regret crossed gwen's face as she realized the pain she had caused. "yes, you are a waste of time," she had blurted out, but the moment the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.

shock and hurt washed over you, your voice trembling as you struggled to process her response. "are you for real? after everything... just like that?" tears welled up in your eyes, your emotions overwhelming you.

you placed a hand over your chest, feeling your heartbeat pounding like an aggressive drum. the pain of gwen's words cut deep, and you couldn't bear it any longer. "you know what, gwen? fuck you," you said, the words laced with pain and anger, as tears streamed down your face.

gwen's stomach twisted with remorse, realizing the weight of her thoughtless words. she desperately wanted to take them back, to make things right, but she could see that you were too hurt to listen or care.

turning away, you withdrew from gwen's reach, not wanting to face her in that moment. overwhelmed by a mix of emotions, you massaged your temples, trying to calm the storm brewing inside you.

gwen understood that you needed space, but she couldn't bear the thought of leaving things unresolved. she had to fix this. "i'm so, so sorry! i didn't mean what i said, i really didn't," she pleaded, her voice frantic. "i was just mad, okay? i didn't think before i spoke. please, give me a chance to explain."

as gwen spoke, her voice started fading away, and you felt a tingling sensation intensify in your head. suddenly, you realized what it was—it was your spider sense.

turning towards the m.o.d.a.a.k. cocoon, time seemed to slow down as you saw him slice a slit in the silk, preparing to launch an attack. without hesitation, you pushed gwen to the floor, your instincts taking over to protect her.

chaos ensued as other spider people rushed to contain the situation. in the midst of the commotion, you felt a sharp, stabbing pain in your side. instinctively, you reached down to grip the source of the pain, only to have your hand come away wet with blood. you had taken the blow intended for gwen.

m.o.d.a.a.k. had shot you.

your vision grew hazy as the pain intensified, and you realized the gravity of the situation. in that moment, all the hurt and anger faded away, replaced by a deep concern for your own well-being. as everything faded to darkness, you couldn't help but wonder if gwen would realize the depth of her feelings before it was too late.

"(y/n), are you okay?" gwen yelled out, her instincts kicking in as she rushed to your side, her voice filled with urgency.

her eyes widened as she took in the sight of you, blood pouring from your wounds. a wave of worry washed over her, and her stomach twisted with fear. "hey, stay with me," she pleaded.

weakly, you managed to ask, "gwen, are you okay?"

her heart ached at the sound of your weakened voice. "stay with me, please," she repeated, her tone softer this time, her own fear causing her mouth to go dry.

desperately, gwen reached out to you, her hand trembling as she brushed against your arm, wanting to offer some form of comfort. but in the face of such a dire situation, she felt utterly helpless. the pool of blood around you was expanding rapidly, and the gravity of the situation weighed heavily on her. doubts and fears raced through her mind, fearing that she might lose you.

"shhh, just relax. breathe," you whispered, your voice filled with a mixture of pain and reassurance. gwen listened attentively, doing as you instructed, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.

as you felt her tension ease, a faint smile tugged at the corners of your lips. despite your own condition, you wanted to provide her with some comfort.

gwen felt a glimmer of relief as she saw you momentarily relax. your bloody hand rested on her chest, seeking solace in her touch as she held you tightly in her arms.

but as time passed, your eyelids grew heavier, and your consciousness slipped in and out. the world around you faded into darkness as you succumbed to the overwhelming blood loss, and you passed out.

"no, no, no..." gwen whispered to herself, her voice filled with a mix of anguish and determination.

with tears welling up in her eyes, gwen carefully lifted your limp body, cradling you in her arms. she refused to let despair consume her. with every ounce of strength she could summon, she reassured you, whispering that everything would be alright.

in a display of unwavering resolve, gwen carried you, her steps steady but her heart heavy, as she made her way towards help. the weight of her emotions—fear, worry, concern, anxiety, and regret—pressed upon her, but she took a deep breath, determined to stay strong for your sake.

as she gently placed you onto a gurney, the tension in her body was evident.

a day had passed since the incident, and you had undergone surgery. surprisingly, you fared better than expected, and as you sat up, you realized you were in the emergency care department of the headquarters. clad in a hospital gown, you slowly lifted it, revealing the bandages wrapped around your wounds.

confusion clouded your mind until you noticed gwen entering the room, dressed in her normal attire. her eyes widened upon seeing you awake, a mix of relief and worry evident on her face.

"you're awake!" she exclaimed, a big smile forming on her face.

gwen approached you cautiously, her gaze fixed on the bandages and hospital gown that concealed your injuries.

"how do you feel?" she asked.

she stepped closer before taking a seat on your bedside, unable to contain her emotions, and quickly wrapped her arms around you in a strong embrace. your body tensed in pain from your abdomen as you let out a small gasp, but her presence provided a sense of comfort.

"what the hell happened?" you asked, sitting up, your bewilderment evident.

as you posed the question, gwen's face turned nervous, her voice slightly trembling. "that m.o.d.a.a.k. shot you," she replied, the words catching in her throat. "you took the bullet for me."

her gratitude spilled forth as her eyes studied your form. "thank you," she added, her voice filled with a mix of appreciation and remorse.

taken aback by her words, you felt a flood of memories rush back, the events of the fight and her hurtful remark resurfacing in your mind like a turbulent wave.

"yeah, i remember," you recalled, rubbing your head as a headache set in. "that happened after..."

the words caught in your throat as you couldn't bring yourself to say it, the memory of gwen calling you a waste of time after you had confessed your feelings still fresh in your mind.

sensing the tension in the air, gwen acknowledged the weight of the past events. "yeah... that fight," she replied softly, her voice tinged with regret.

the realization that you were now in a better state and on the path to recovery prompted gwen to address the lingering issue. determination flickered in her eyes as she mustered the courage to explain herself.

"yeah, um, i wanted to talk about that," gwen began. "what i said... i didn't mean any of it, okay? i was just angry."

as gwen placed her hands on your arm to stop you from rubbing your head, you pulled your arm away, a hint of skepticism in your voice. "you keep saying that, gwen," you commented. "really, don't force yourself to be around me. especially if you don't feel the way i do. just because i took a hit for you doesn't mean you owe me this," you explained, your words laced with a mix of resignation and self-preservation.

gwen frowned and looked away, a mixture of hurt and determination flickering in her eyes. "it's not about you taking a bullet for me," she replied, her voice soft but earnest. "it's about me hurting you with those comments i made. i didn't mean a single word of what i said. and i'm not forcing myself to do anything... i love being around you, (y/n)."

she spoke with sincerity, her words carrying the weight of remorse. "i said those things because i was an idiot, not because i think you're a waste of time. because you aren't."

you couldn't help but feel a surge of confusion as you searched her eyes for answers. "if it's not that, then what's your problem?" you asked, your tone a mix of frustration and curiosity.

gwen fell silent for a few moments, her gaze fixed on the floor as she grappled with her emotions. "fear," she finally answered, her voice barely above a whisper.

her confession hung in the air, and she continued, her voice gaining strength. "fear of getting too attached, fear of hurting you by accident, fear of falling in love..." her vulnerability was clear as she admitted her feelings openly. "i just don't want to mess things up, okay? it's been a struggle for me to feel comfortable with... commitment. it's complicated."

moved by her honesty, you reached out and gently took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "gwen, you can talk to me," you assured, your voice filled with empathy.

taking a deep breath, gwen met your gaze directly, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and nervousness. "you're right," she replied, her voice steadier now. "i've been avoiding you because i was scared. scared that..."

she paused, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "i have always liked you more than a friend," she stated, her words blunt and honest. "but i was worried that i might ruin our friendship if i admitted it to you. so i ended up pushing you away. i'm sorry."

the shock was evident on your face as you processed her words. "you like me back?" you asked, your voice filled with surprise. "so the whole time you were avoiding me... you were scared?"

gwen nodded quietly, a tinge of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. "i- yeah," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "but i was nervous to spend time with just the two of us. it felt like something changed between us. and i guess i didn’t want my feelings to be confirmed, even tho being away from you did the exact opposite.”

she looked down, feeling a mix of nervousness and shame. "i can't believe i was acting like this toward someone i like. how stupid am i?" her voice trailed off, her self-criticism evident.

placing a hand on her cheek, you gently turned her face to meet your gaze. "hey, hey," you spoke softly, your thumb stroking her cheek. "that's all in the past now. i know it's hard to be vulnerable, but you can do it."

gwen's heart fluttered at your touch, a warmth filling her. your words resonated deeply within her, and she felt a newfound determination take hold. "you're right," she replied, her voice more confident. "i can do it. and that's what i want to do—to be vulnerable with you."

you grinned at her as the gentle touch of your thumb on her cheek stirred something within her. with a surge of courage, gwen leaned in, meeting your lips in a tender, heartfelt kiss.

gwen's lips met yours in a tender, passionate kiss, her weight pressing against you slightly as you instinctively put both hands up to cup her cheek. closing your eyes, you surrendered to the moment, savoring the feeling of her lips against yours.

the sensation of gwen's kiss was like a dream come true, an intoxicating blend of passion and love that left you breathless. she continued to kiss you, her lips moving with a fervent energy that sent tingles of excitement throughout your entire body. in that moment, all worries and nerves faded away, replaced by the sheer intensity of the connection between you.

as you pulled back slightly, your eyes locked with gwen's, a joyful giggle escaping your lips. a broad smile spread across your face, reflecting the happiness that filled your heart.

gwen's heart raced, her stomach aflutter as she met your gaze. it was a sensation she had never experienced before, but one she embraced fully. "you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that," she confessed, her voice slightly breathless. "thank you for being so understanding," she added, her smile radiant.

taking a moment to readjust herself, gwen mirrored your earlier gesture, placing her hand gently on your cheek. the weight of her touch felt light, yet it conveyed a profound sense of happiness and contentment.

"of course, i'll always understand you," you reassured her, your voice filled with sincerity. you chuckled at her remark. "well, we don't have to wait around anymore, do we?" you playfully remarked, leaning in for another kiss. in that moment, it felt like everything was falling into place.

gwen wrapped her arms around your neck, drawing herself even closer to you, her body moving in sync with yours. the taste of your mouth was both sweet and comforting, fueling a strength within her.

she wished this moment could last forever, but she knew that reality would eventually intrude, bringing an end to this blissful interlude.

so, gwen allowed herself to fully immerse in the joy of the present, cherishing every second of this special kiss, knowing deep down that it would become one of the most cherished memories of this unforgettable summer.

© 2023 primaviva — likes, replies, and reblogs are appreciated!

[jq37]

So, that lady FH episode was amazing and all, but...

Hoo boy, I already see the discourse around the Ratgrinders' fates forming and it is going to be painful. Be careful around the fandom space.

(I mean, resurrection is still on the table for them, but that's based on if the players feel like it and right now, we're looking at 50/50 odds at bests)

Yeah, don't worry about me. This isn't my first rodeo and also I post a lot about D20 and respond to asks I get but I don't actually personally engage with any of The Discourse (tm).

And I'm not really surprised at the reaction. I know people have been opinionated all season in two main camps (that have a lot of overlap): people dissatisfied with the narrative direction and people deeply sympathetic to the Rat Grinders to the point of being mad at the Bad Kids.

The first camp I mostly understand. I get wishing the cast would explore a certain storyline more. For example, I've been on the Aelwyn redemption arc train since literally the first episode of Fantasy High so I was a little disappointed that when that finally came to a head in Freshman Year, it was a big fight and then very little aftermath/unpacking because Aelwyn was sent to jail right after. And Sophomore Year hadn't been announced so I had no idea that she was gonna get another shot. But I wasn't upset or anything. Adaine at that point still hated her sister. She had no reason to want to reach out. And at the end of the day this is other people playing a game. Brennan presented them all the possible plot threads and they were most interested in self discovery, hanging out with each other, doing Shenanigans, and playing Tomb Raider re: Ankarna. Those are all options they were presented and it's not like they were doing crazy off-roading. It's well within the parameters of what D&D is. If you're gonna watch a show like this (or honestly any show), you have to accept that what's most interesting to you isn't always going to be the most interesting thing to the people in the driver's seat.

So yeah, I feel like this side of things I get (even though I'm fine with how things turned out).

The other camp--people being legit mad at the Bad Kids (and in some cases the actual cast) for treating the Rat Grinders like antagonists instead of victims that they were responsible for empathizing with and redeeming--I find kind of wild.

Like…you're mad at the kids who go to Child Murder School for killing kids who want to end the world and kill them specifically? Literally the first day of school the principal of the school says that adventurers are violent wanderers who engage in shenanigans and enact violence. This is the exact assignment they were given and that's what they're doing.

I think it's wild to at the same time believe that the Rat Grinders (who have killed people) are not responsible for their actions and deserve to be talked down while in the process of causing an apocalypse because they're just kids who were manipulated while at the same time calling the Bad Kids evil lunatics for trying to stop them by killing them (in a world where Revivify and Resurrection exist) even though they are ALSO kids who are doing what they've learned at Child Murder School. The Bad Kids have to be mature enough to thoroughly investigate the situation and have nuance about it but the Rat Grinders don't have any responsibility to not join a shady evil murder plan*? And do the Bad Kids really hate the Rat Grinders to the point where they're doing some overkill in this fight? Absolutely. But it's not like they're killing them because they hate them. They're killing them because they're trying to end the world--and they also happen to hate them. Are we forgetting that Kipperlilly killed Buddy--her own teammate--with a gleeful smile on her face? That was so out of pocket.

They're adventurers! Not guidance counselors! If Jawbone was like, "We need to kill these kids," yeah that would be weird but why would the Bad Kids extend an olive branch to the kids who (1) famously hate them, (2) killed at least one maybe 2 of their own party members, (3) endangered the entire student body population an hour ago, (4) are currently trying to end the world. Hell, Adaine was ready to be mean to her own sister in elf jail literally up until the point Brennan described how rough she looked from the torture and that's when she changed her mind. The Power of Love and Empathy is on the menu but it's a special item you only can get if you know the chef. Everyone else is getting a serving of These Hands. Just because you can find a vegan solution to a problem it doesn't mean you're obligated to.

This all comes down to, "Maybe teenagers shouldn't have godlike powers and the ability to play judge, jury, and executioner" but that's literally the premise of the entire show so you can't get around it without rejecting the show's entire premise. If they were like, "Hmm the systems that underpin our world are questionable and we should change the power structures" instead of, "Let's kill some bad guys!" then that's a totally different thing we're doing here!

And, idk man, this show has always had a Who Framed Roger Rabbit style morality where the normal rules of ethics stop applying when it's funny. They beat the crud out of Ragh and then lied to him that he shit his pants just for the bit. A pirate was rude/kinda racist to Riz so they scared him into killing himself. Riz ate the remains of the sentient (albiet evil) dragon he killed. That's all unhinged behavior but none of that is meant to be serious. Getting upset about Fig sending Ruben to hell to me feels like getting mad that Jerry hit Tom with a cartoonishly large mallet.

None of this is new so I have to assume that people are having a big reaction because they relate to the Rat Grinders or just really like them so it feels bad that the Bad Kids are treating them like fodder rather than beloved NPCs.

But again, this is a world where you can bring people back from the dead and the Rat Grinders have showed intent that is grievously neglectful at best and insanely murderous at worst so I can't muster a lot of sympathy for the fact that the Bad Kids are just taking them down without remorse. I don't think you have to try to empathize with the people who are trying to harm you if you don't want to especially while they are in the process of harming you.

(*And we still don't know how voluntarily they joined this plan. We don't know if they were killed and basically forced into resurrecting with rage or if they just leapt at the chance to join a plan that would let them get one over on their rivals. It literally could be either. We've had kid villains on this show strong armed into being party to evil plans by threat of harm (Aelwyn) as well was kid villains who just had their own selfish motivations and weren't tricked at all (Penelope and Biz). We actually don't have any clear answer on how culpable they are. We don't know if they all have rage crystals (except for Buddy). And we don't know how much having a Rage Crystal effects your actions. The best indicator we got is in this latest ep when Brennan said that there was a mechanic where Porter was going to call anyone with a rage crystal to fight for him but that says to me that he's only directly puppeting them when he uses that action and otherwise they have free will and are just angrier. The Bad Kids don't have a reason to believe definitively that the Rat Grinders are just unwilling puppets even if that is the case so of course they're treating them like enemies. Anyway, this is a whole lot of "I don't knows" but that's only because I've seen a lot of people talking like the Rat Grinders literally aren't in control of their actions but that's not info that we have. It could be true but we don't actually know that so it's not a good argument.)