#like the MAJORITY of it is from my chest and anything else I am just personally terrified with undergoing because my body is already shit

[thornedswan]

I don't get how...people don't comprehend that I don't wanna do T because of my own reasons and worries

[satoruhour]

HIS FAVOURITE W— STUDENT !

a/n: dilly / @crysugu i am losing the pwp war i needed the lore to be in this HELP. anyway !!! professors bc i cannot stop my mind from spiralling while starting my university classes — im not entirely proud of this but eehhh ….

wc: 4k

warnings: ultimately semi-public sex for all, unprotected sex, cumshot, standing doggy, brief oral (m receiving), brief f! masturbation, brief fingering (gojo), geto is a professor who is also a camboy, camgirl!reader, f! and m! masturbation, mentions of bad dragon’s cumtubes, brief fingering, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink (geto), pussy slapping, spitting (on yo pussy), pet names, clit stimulation, oral / cunnilingus, tit play, fingering, implied f! masturbation (nanami), mentions of murder, stripper!reader, riding, degradation, calls you ‘slut’ and ‘whore’, calls you ‘mama’ once too, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), deep-throating, slight face-fucking (toji), n*sfw under the cut

✶ GOJO

professor gojo was… an interesting teaching figure. he didn’t have a set way of doing lectures or tutorials, nor was his feedback on assignments entirely coherent, but he was fun and unorthodox. he was also hot as fuck, as you’ve heard from your friends, but you never really got the deal even after seeing his photo on the university website or from miles away entertaining some starstruck student. his classes were always left with no vacancies, too, only able to see what your friends meant after stepping foot first into the lecture.

you were a tad bit early, greeted with gojo sitting at the front with his legs propped up on the desk as he shot you a nonchalant greeting and you think maybe you should’ve signed up for another lecture group, but then he speaks and the air is knocked out of your chest. professor gojo is charismatic when he teaches about art, design and media, captivating everyone with the stark white hair and blue eyes, but he’s clever with his glances because you aren’t realising he stares at you more than anyone else.

aren’t you in your second year? how did he not see you anywhere last year? why did you just sign up? 

the smiles he gives you are sweeter than others, the words more sugar coated with lilts in his voice and you’re chastising yourself for not being any different from everyone else, soon turning into the girls who ask for extra tutoring sessions and sidling up to him on campus — at least you’d get the full experience.

“oh! sweetness, what are you doing here?” you’ve managed to get gojo just as he leaves his office, standing outside for quite some time thinking if you’d really want to do this. several lecturers and professors have already walked past asking if you needed anything, but no matter how much you wanted to say professor gojo’s name, it always turned into something like waiting for a friend.

“oh— uhm, professor gojo, just wondering if the grade for that major project is really set in stone?”

gojo makes a show of thinking, but you know you’re asking for the devil himself when he replies yes with a stifled grin and you’re asking if the two week period of appealing works for the major you’re in.

“you can submit other collaterals as an appeal but it might either boost your grade or bring it down,” the professor leans down with a sick smile on his face, because he’s had so many people outside just like this, nervous from his advances and yet not going through with what they thought they could do. but this time it’s you, the you who he imagined taking on his office desk or even in a lecture theatre for everyone to see, who wants the words to fall from your lips just so he could be your knight in shining armour.

“is there really no… other way to appeal?” you swallow when gojo switches the position and gets you in exactly where he wants you: your back facing his office, his face dangerously close to yours while his eyes slyly catching the way your thighs rub together.

gojo smirks to himself when you knock down yet another cup of stationery on his desk after “discussing” ways you could improve your grades, nails making unsatisfactory noises on the wooden desk while he can hear your cunt gush around him, made obvious from the squelch of your hole and he’s muttering praises into your neck from behind.

“this what you had in mind, baby?” just another girl in his roster, getting ruined just for a grade that wasn’t even that bad. what you didn’t know is that you were the only girl, getting professor gojo so hard in lectures and tutorial classes just from the sight of you that to finally have you — it’s a sweet reward. you shiver when his hand reaches to your front to rub at your clit and you’re grasping at nothing as moans leave your lips.

“y-yeah, professor—” gojo is filthy, lewd, lifting your leg to prop up on the desk just so he could get deeper in you, your pussy everything he imagined and more as he continues to fuck into you. you’re warmer than his hand, than some hookup’s mouth from the club, clenching around his cock so tightly his hips stutter.

“f-fuck, angel, tryna snap my dick off?” you let out an incredulous chuckle at that, hips moving back to meet his while the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass fill the room. your juices are coating his length so well, too, that gojo’s eyes lock on your cunt that sucks him in over and over again, the spread of your pussy lips just amplifying his moans. the other spreads your cheeks and sighs at the translucent ring of cum at the base of his cock, hips fucking up to hit your sweet spot that you’re cumming with a shock down your spine — so hard, so deep, so intense that you’re jolting from the orgasm with whimpers of his name. gojo never truly is done with you after pulling out to cum on your ass, however, and you aren’t either.

there’s a thrill that runs through his veins when you back him up onto the sofa, a glimmer in your eyes that suggest you’re as intoxicated on him as he is on you, a sultry gaze taking over your shyness from earlier before he’s pushed onto the cushions.

“thank you for the meal, professor,” you giggle and gojo swears he’s reached his death when your mouth first closes around his still sensitive tip and he whines loudly, hearing your fingers fill your drooling cunt as your hand squeezes out leftover cum from before. a hand runs through your hair and your cockdrunk face is enough for him to see white—

professor gojo thinks you look heavenly between his legs.

✶ GETO

you sigh echoes throughout your dorm room, ending the stream and collecting your keep for the day as you grimace at the mess you’ve made on your sheets. it’s not like it wasn’t pleasurable, but on some days you’re wondering how long you truly need to serve gross men on the internet for it to be enough to pay off your university fees. sure, there were a few attractive people who commented and tipped you, but that was the extent of it. it’s not long before you can only think about cleaning up and taking a big fat nap, but a video in the sidebar catches your attention.

it seemed like a casual stream — no script or planned storyline apart from a heavily tattooed arm taking up half the screen, his pelvis just slightly off the thumbnail. he was faceless, too, filming rather from the chest down which was also inked, something that sends a chill to your core.

it’s only later when you’re slipping your dildo back into you as you watch this stranger pump his cock, guttural groans and slick noises filling your airpods that you realise the dragon wrapping around his arm looks awfully familiar. you’re so blissed out by pleasure, focusing on the needy moans that the man lets out before he cums with a grunt, so much cum leaking out from him. you’ve reached your high too, but you have no time to admire the stranger because it seemed like he was in a hurry, but not before you’ve caught a glimpse of his lip ring.

you know why he looked so familiar, now, standing in front of him in his office while his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, something he doesn’t do often. geto suguru doesn’t wear his lip ring in lecturers either, and now you think you know why because they match the video you’ve seen just last night. you aren’t even entirely sure why you were called in, and you think maybe it’s because you “accidentally” sent a friend request, but you’re taken aback when he asks you if you’ve already selected a tutor to be your mentor throughout your major project.

“surprised? i sent out the email a week ago, love.” you try not to let the name get to you, and the confession lingers at the tip of your tongue.

“y-yeah! i saw it, professor geto, just—”

everyone was no stranger to professor geto’s striking looks, always turning heads with his unconventional gauges and long hair that probably should’ve landed him in a modelling agency in the first place. except, he’s opting instead to teach linguistics, a fitting major for him to talk of the history of language and its formation of it, even slipping in some latin and greek to show its origins but you can hardly listen when all you can focus on is the tight pull of his shirt around his body while his hair falls around his face and you think maybe it was a bad time to think if his hair falls out of his bun while he rails someone. you hope soon it’ll be you, just so you can confirm it for yourself with no other reason involved (you’re a fucking liar).

geto clears his throat and you swallow and the flex of his forearms only distract you further, the dragon on his arm seemingly laughing at your torment as it moves along his skin — the other doesn’t miss your dilemma, staring at you for your answer with a dark stare and enjoying the effect he had on you. your brain doesn’t respond fast enough, though, and you’re blurting out the first thing as you watch the curve of his mouth turn in either distaste or satisfaction; you weren’t sure.

“i saw you stream yesterday—” and you slap a hand over your mouth, wanting to run immediately, but you didn’t expect him to smile after a moment of recognition, making the connections to your account until his mouth falls open just a little.

“you’re the little cutie who sent me a request last night, aren’t ya?”

as he asks the question you hoped he wouldn’t ask, you find there’s nothing on your mind except maybe seeing his tattooed arms wrap around you — and you did. they looked so much better up close, leading from one thing to another in that stuffy office soon they’re looking especially good with how he’s currently dragging the tip of his cock along your folds, collecting your slick as you hold onto his biceps after confessing sin after sin about you from—

“i’ve jerked off to your videos.” a burn on your cheeks when geto sets you on his office table, palms leaving hot trails along your thighs and skin. he lets you play with his bulge, hands probably forming bruises on you from how you relieve the tension in his pants.

“the way your cunt wraps around that dildo — makes me wish i was there fuckin’ your pussy instead.” a gasp and a moan when he preps you with both fingers as he sucks hickeys into your neck and plays with your tits, pinching your nipple that has you clenching around him.

“didn’t miss how you like to be bred in your videos too. think maybe you need some real cum, princess,” geto’s button up shirt is pried open by now, trousers just barely pulled down below his hips because he has a lecture in about half n’ hour. though, he wanted your pussy all to himself and if 27 minutes was all he was granted, he was going to make full use of it. geto groans into your hair when your legs wrap around his middle and he’s reeling at how he’s been watching your videos for the longest time and yet, nothing compares to having you fall apart by his hands.

a quick glance to his watch tells him fifteen minutes, eyes flitting back to the squelch of your cunt around him and he smiles smugly at the whimpers he knows so well. he’s sure it’s imprinted on his brain by now but his dick still jumps at the many variations you’ve let out during the 27; he’d commit every single one to memory. “professor— s-shit!”

geto angles his hips up, the curve of his cock hitting that spot just right that your back arches and you let out a drawn out moan, “yes, baby?”

“w-wan’ your cum in me, suguru,” you’re pleading with a drunk little smile and your face is twisted into such pleasure he’s only seen through pixels that geto cums almost immediately with a pained laugh seeing the real thing, hips stilling as he fills you up, up, up to the brim with hot, white semen that geto feels embarrassed to climaxing so quickly. but what can he do? when his favourite camgirl and student asks to be bred, it’s only natural.

how could he possibly say no?

✶ NANAMI

“does that mean the poem is written from the cross’ perspective?” your hand shoots up in hopes of interpreting the text correctly, but also because, just maybe, that you wanted to impress a little someone at the front of the lecture theatre. beside you, you can hear the gasp of your friend along with the eyes of various other students. “sort of like— personification?”

nanami points to you with his glasses that he’s long removed, a small smile on his face. it’s not like you’re trying too hard, but of course you know your shit fairly well. you always have in every class, it was just a bonus you were so attractive that all nanami could think about was spreading your legs right on this desk. “yes, almost. anthropomorphism, something that was very common in poems or works written in old english.”

you were sceptical about professor nanami at first, especially since he was a lecturer who was transferred here from overseas only three months ago and is technically quarter of a white man, but he held command of the japanese language well enough for you to understand, both in speech and concepts. you were more interested in the lecturer himself though, piqued from the moment he explained his grandfather was danish and you turn to your friend, explains the blonde hair, doesn’t explain how he’s so insanely fine, giggling quietly to each other the first day.

as for your major, it was texts after story after poem, but you enjoyed it alongside giving your own input in class — something you knew would help your participation grades. you’ve raised your hand in more ways than one, always coming up at the end of lectures with a question, stopping him in hallways to show him the book you were currently reading. so that’s why you were confused when you were called to the front of the lecture theatre after everything’s over. it couldn’t be bad, right?

it wasn’t bad, it was much better, especially when nanami’s got your legs on either side of him on the lecture theatre desk while he takes his rightful place between your legs — somewhere he’s always longed to be. both the front and back doors are locked, with only your soft, muffled moans filling the room. but nanami has no shame, slurping up the juices that drip from your pussy loudly, possibly staining the desk below him. he’s cared before about the condensation of his drinks but when it comes to your sweet, sweet cunt? he doesn’t give one fuck.

“taste so good, sweetheart,” nanami moans wrapping a forearm around your thighs and just eats. he flicks his tongue over your clit, while the other hand goes up to squeeze at your tits, kneading and playing with them while you’re still at awe at the man on his knees, at how you’ve gotten one of the hottest professors in the university eating out of your pussy like it’s the last meal on earth.

you’re snapped out of your daze when nanami lands a few slaps onto your pussy, brown eyes boring holes into your skull. but this stare is different, as opposed to glaring down the mischievous boys who can’t stop making noise, this is…

“pay attention when i eat your little pussy, angel,” the demanding tone has you shivering, a small grin stifled when he nods in deserved approval and continues his assault. fingers slip in before you have time to react and your head is thrown back so hard it bumps against the wood but you don’t care, clamping down around his fingers. nanami’s pace is unforgiving, sucking hard on your clit while he pumps them in and out.

“feel good?” nanami asks through slurps as he catches your eye, licking one last stripe before gathering his saliva into a ball and he spits onto your clit, sight so lewd you clamp around his fingers. he admires how the way the glob of liquid runs down your cunt and mixes with your arousal that he can’t wait for it to be his cum instead.

“better than…” your voice trails off when he rubs in his spit, a thumb on your bud while he continues to move his fingers and your thighs are already trembling from how nanami knows all your sweet spots in such a short period of time. nanami simply chuckles at your sensitivity, meeting you halfway as you sit up to feel his lips against yours and he whispers against your lips—

“what were you gonna say, baby?”

you’re heaving for oxygen as he adds a third finger and you’re just hoping he’d show you his fucking dick already. hot breath fans across your lips and you smile to yourself seeing how your words affect him.

“better than fucking myself with my fingers thinkin’ it’s your cock, prof.”

✶ TOJI

it was nine in the morning, and toji could already feel a headache forming from the amount of absentees in his class, simply sighing before pulling up the details for today’s lecture, eyes unknowingly looking for you in the large lecture theatre. he finds that you’re already looking, clad in a cardigan and tired eyes — no doubt from trying to reach his deadline earlier than usual. toji found that you liked to do that, the first one to always submit your essays and assignments, so that’s why he knows what game you’re playing at when you’re asking the difference between first, second and third degree murder when you already know their definitions.

he would know — you got full marks the other time. 

“hm?” toji only hums when he sees your enthusiastic face and a quick look down to your lower half shows how your legs spread naturally for him. the professor only licks his lips before he spots your underwear, entertaining you for now as you stare on earnestly, while nothing is actually entering your brain. that’s okay, though, you’re smart.

toji can count on one hand the amount of times you manage to catch him off guard, but he didn’t expect both of those times to be on the same day. it was a busy night at the club, trailing behind professor gojo, bored, until the clock hits 11 and the shift changes, some dancers retiring for the night whilst others make their way out. they emerge with pumps and skimpy outfits, but toji still hasn’t found someone worth wasting his loaded bank account on until you’re stepping out in a corset and garters and toji whistles lowly, eyes travelling up your person unforgivingly before he hears a small gasp.

his curiosity is piqued at the small noise, only to be greeted with your widened eyes and taut muscles at having seen your professor at the strip club you work at, but with a clap from somewhere backstage your body moves naturally into a professional stance, and perhaps a little more sluttily than other days.

your professor was hot, of course you would work twice as hard, twisting your body around the pole while you show off your assets — things you were covering just this morning in professor toji’s lecture. he taught criminology, a minor that you were trying out in your second year of uni and if it didn’t work, you’d drop it, but no matter how much you complained about the class, the green eyes that bore into yours in lectures always seem to ask you to stay. you never really knew whether he was looking at you or not.

at least now, you’ll make him.

toji’s hands tightened around the wad of cash he planned to waste tonight, all put on hold just from watching the way you put your body on display. he wouldn’t have imagined seeing you tonight at the strip club he let gojo drag him to, but he’s almost glad he’s here when you seem to be only dancing for him, all focus on the other patrons lost.

your eyes are still locked with toji’s, reminding you of the times in the lecture theatre where green was all you could see, a smile creeping on your face when one of your girlfriends behind you whispers that the man with the black hair and tight shirt wants a private session with you.

that’s all it took before you feel toji’s hands on your ass later in the private room, pulling you to his front with a smirk. “what’s a sweet girl like you doin’ here?”

you roll your eyes as you feign annoyance. your heart was pounding along with the music, finally being able to feel his toned body from the front., “cut the crap, prof. you booked me for a reason. what, here to talk about my grades or something?”

“what? can’t see my favourite student?” you scoff with a small smile.

“and how did you know i work here?”

“i didn’t, but seeing you work that pole,” toji grins, landing a smack on your butt before grinding his very obvious, large bulge on you and he’s loving the way it seemed to stimulate your clit, “i need ya to show me what i’ve been missing, mama.”

toji groans later while you’ve got his cock in his mouth, on your knees in front of him while you’re fisting the places you can’t reach. you take most of him easily, feeling the tip of his length reach the back of your throat. there, your eyes flick up to him, doe eyed and pleading. it isn’t long before you feel his hips bucking into your mouth and the cute twitch of his cock in your mouth, moaning around him as you knead his thighs, dragging him closer with what little strength you had.

“dirty fuckin’ slut, huh?” toji mumbles out breathlessly, tightening his grip around your hair before you start bobbing your head again, a plethora of lewd noises alongside the slurp of your saliva and his pre-cum mixing only makes your panties wetter and sends your cunt clenching around nothing. “who knew my cutest student was such a whore?” your head reels at the degradation, sucking in your cheeks even more while you slobber over him. toji swears under his breath when your tongue sweeps over his tip, collecting his pre-cum.

“it’s s’big in my mouth, professor,” giggling, you bob your head faster as the other’s noises increase in volume, and he’s left to tap the side of your skull, causing you to tilt your head in question. the vibrations of your moans has him grinding into your mouth, shutting you up until he’s cumming down your throat with a loud groan. toji spills so much into your mouth that you have to swallow twice, pulling on your jaw as you show him the remnants of the cum still on your tongue.

“’m sure they have it somewhere in the conduct about professors not having sexual relations with a student,” toji chuckles when he sees you peel off your underwear, eagerly wrapping his arms around your waist. “or even something about cutting corners to get your grades up…” it’s a little soft, trailing off when he feels you drag his tip along your pussy and he’s mesmerised with how your dripping folds accommodate him easily.

you pout in dramatics, thighs tightening around his when you take inch after inch of him before you’re bottoming out. there’s a deep sigh coming from you before you’re moving your hips lazily, a certain slur to your words that already show you’re drunk on your professor’s cock and toji only smiles.

“yeah, but my grades are perfectly fine,” you whisper with a small whine when toji squeezes your ass, something he never thought he’d get a taste of.

“plus, we’re not in the classroom now, are we, professor?”

[luvvyouforever]

matchmaker, matchmaker - azriel x reader

↳ mor drags azriel to velaris's resident matchmaker, only for him to fall for her instead of his potential suitors.

↳ no major warnings apply! just some fluff and cuteness. not grammar or spell checked. sorry hehe

↳ requests are open! check bio.

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azriel and mor sat at a cafe table in the heart of velaris, steam rising from the tea cups in front of each of them. this was not an uncommon occurence by any means and the pair frequented the many shops and restaurants throughout the town. however, this time, there was an air of tension between them which caused their waitress to carefully place their drinks away from the edges of the table.

"you're telling me you won't even consider seeing her? do you know all that she's done for velaris, az?"

"she's just high fae, mor. she's not some prophecy teller that can see mating bonds between people. i don't understand what she could even do for me."

ah, yes. the topic of conversation was azriel's love life and mor was desperately trying to convince the spymaster to see her friend, the matchmaker of velaris.

what azriel was saying was true. she did not have some special power that allowed her to see the invisible string connecting mates. she could not look into her mind and pull out the best partner for someone. she just knew how to read people and how to do it well. she was responsible for a lot of the matches in velaris, even predicting nesta and cassian long before anyone else could.

"you're lonely, azriel. i can tell! you want to dance with someone at rita's and have a date to parties just as bad as anyone else. you just won't admit it," mor declared. her voice softened and she continued, "i want what's best for you, az. we all do. will you see her for me? please? even if nothing works out."

azriel sighed and took a drink of his tea which was still too hot for his mouth. damn mor and her awareness of the people in her life. and damn him for the way he'd give in to her so easily. "fine," he mumbled. "i will try. but no promises."

that next week, azriel came back from a trip to the mortal lands and immediately, mor was at the door to his room, badgering him about the meeting she set up for later that day. she declared that he could not reschedule or miss the meeting and that he should dress in something nice.

begrudgingly, azriel took a long bath to make sure he looked and smelled fine enough to get a potentially good match from mor's friend. he chose more "normal" clothing as instructed by mor and flew down to the bright townhouse fast enough to reach the door just as his appointment was set to begin.

she surely sensed him because before he even got the chance to knock, she threw the door open and greeted him.

"azriel, right? spymaster of the high lord's court," she said sweetly. "i am quite honored to have you in my home."

azriel felt too awkward for his own good and just nodded with as polite of a smile as he could muster.

"come on! come on!" she ushered him into her home which was brightly decorated in all sorts of eclectic decor, a lot of it being hearts and other love motifs. "can i get you anything?" she asked. "water? tea? snacks? wine?"

"no...no. i'm good, thanks," he said, quieter than he meant to. his eyes raked over the matchmaker, finding her to be a lot younger and more spry than he imagined. mor spoke so highly of her that he thought she must be ancient, having made matches for velaris since the dawn of time. she was also quite beautiful and the way she spoke caused some odd feelings in azriel's chest that he didn't like. his shadows noticed his attraction to her too as they whipped around his chest before hiding behind him, sometimes whispering things in his ear.

"suit yourself," she joked. she sat down on a large armchair and gestured to the matching one in front of her. azriel obediently sat down and watched her moves. she pulled out a frilly notebook from a drawer along with a pen. "has mor told you anything about what i do?"

"not really," azriel admitted. "just praises your name and forces her friends to come to her." the matchmaker laughed and azriel felt incredibly proud of himself for making her laugh.

"well, i just want to know a couple things about you. nothing crazy. just your inner thoughts and desires. and i take that information and compare it to other people and see what comes from it! simple, easy, and usually pain free but i have a feeling you may be a little more introverted than most." azriel shrugged in response. "so, my first question is what are your must-haves in a relationship?"

azriel fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he thought about the question. nobody had ever asked him that before and he honestly hadn't even thought about it. "um...someone who's nice. understanding, i guess. i have a lot of responsibilities in my job so someone who doesn't mind that i'm gone a lot," he thought for a second more. "what do people usually say?"

the matchmaker thought for a moment. "well, i would say my must-haves are patience, kindness...someone who's fine with staying inside," she paused and smiled, "definitely has to own some kind of awesome ancient sword or blade that i can play with."

azriel clocked her statement as a joke but some part of him, deep down inside, wishes that he had truth-teller displayed on his chest for her to see. he was patient, he was a homebody, he was...relatively kind. oh god...what was he thinking?

"all jokes, of course. but really, it's just anything you want in a partner. maybe you want them to be strong and abrasive and can hold their own. it's all up to you, azriel."

she moved on to the next question, which he was very grateful for. this one, however, was harder than the last. "what are you looking for here? do you want me to hunt down your potential mate? do you want something fun and casual? committed? i can do it all."

azriel felt like she was stripping back his layers, one by painful one. all to find someone he can kiss. this was crazy! and he didn't even know her name. "i don't really know, honestly. i...i guess my mate but that seems hard considering it could be anyone. i don't really desire anything. mor just made me come here."

she leaned forward and her big eyes seemed to look into his heart. "i know that's not true, azriel. everyone wants something. you have this...look in your eye that tells me you really want this to work out, that you want to believe in this. you just have to be open with me, 'kay?"

azriel let out a breathy chuckle. "how can i open when i don't even know your name or anything else about you?"

she thought for a second before nodding in agreement. she laid the notebook down on the side table and leaned back. "fair, i guess. my name is y/n, i have lived in velaris all my life, i enjoy pastries, reading, and tea, i started matchmaking as a silly way to keep my friends and i entertained until it started working too much to be a coincidence. i spend all my time finding love for other people but haven't found the one for me. ironic, isn't it?" she smiled at azriel. "there. does that make you feel a bit better?" he nodded. "good. now, let me repeat my question."

azriel and y/n continued their conversation, knocking out the questions she had prepared with relative ease. he felt comfortable opening up to her and being honest about his desires for love. he was completely unused to expressing his feelings like that but it came to him easily in her presence. the way she easily leaned in, eyes focused and gaze unwavering...it did something to him.

eventually, though, the questions ended and azriel knew he had to leave her home. he stalled on the last question, having her reword it over and over even though all she had asked was what his habits at home were like.

"well, azriel, thank you for answering all my questions. from here, i will start comparing your answers to other people i've met with and i will reach out to you with your first match up. you'll tell me if you're interested and if you aren't, we'll move on to the next!"

azriel panicked internally at her words which clearly signaled the end of their conversation. he rose at the same time as her but subconsciously placed his body in front of hers so that she'd have to step around him to leave the room. "so, do i come see you again at all? or...or is this it?" he cursed himself for sounding so awkward.

she laughed. "you can if that is what you prefer. if you want to talk about your dates and how they went then i don't care to. did you enjoy this a little more than you anticipated?" she joked.

he nodded and scratched the back of his neck. crap...crap, crap! he had to do something, right? she was single, she said so. but is it wrong to ask the matchmaker on a date? after she poured so much work into finding him a match? he thought for a second, eyes trained on her. in his ears, his shadows whispered encouragingly. this is it...come on!

"is everything okay, azriel?" she asked innocently.

"so i know that this whole thing was to find me a match but i actually really enjoy your time and i think you're beautiful so would you want to go on a date with me instead of sending me on dates with people that i couldn't care less about?" his words came out at lightning speed and he was pleasantly surprised that she understood everything.

a blush came to her cheeks and it matched the pink and red hearts around the room. "seriously?" she asked. he shyly nodded. "i'd love to. tomorrow night? you come by?"

he breathed out a sigh of relief. "yes, tomorrow night. thank you."

the two of them made their way to the door.

"so, no matches at all? not even helga down the street in the butcher shop? she's been looking for someone for yearssss," she said in a sing-song voice.

"cauldron, no. i want you." he was shocked at the confidence that leaked through his words. she blushed again and rose on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

"i'll see you tomorrow. tell mor that my services worked, if you'd be so kind." azriel flew off then with no intentions of telling mor anything that happened.

[coryosbaby]

Fun size - Jake Sully x human! bimbo! Reader

I haven’t watched way of water yet but idgaf Jake been fine since the first movie there’s also no plot so don’t question anything pls & thank u

Summary: Jake loves how small you are.

Warning: mentions of blood, p n v, rough sex, major size kink, tummy bulge, daddy kink, Jake has a big ass monster cock, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, fisting (?), spit kink, degradation/praise, squirting, creampie, dom! Jake, sub! Reader

“you’re hurt!”

It’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth when Jake appears in front of you in the laboratory. A concerned look is etched across your face, as you look down at the na’vi’s bloody palm. The lab is empty, besides you and him; it’s late, and you decided to stay a few extra hours.

He chuckles at your reaction, taking a seat on the tile floor. He’s too big to fit anywhere else in the room.

“I’m okay, honey. It’s just a little scratch,” he assures, as you move over to grab a first aid kit. You roll your eyes, grabbing the red box anyway and sitting down beside him to patch up his wound.

“Then why did you come here?” You ask teasingly.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he sighs, mockingly. “Maybe to see my favorite girl.”

You flush, heat rising to your cheeks at his words. And when you begin to wipe away the dried blood with a alcoholic wipe, you begin to speak.

“So how is it? On pandora, I mean.”

Jake hisses at the feeling of the wipe running over his wound. But then he sighs dreamily, tilting his head back. “It’s…wow. It’s great.”

You nod, happy that he’s doing good and liking his new life.

After a moment of silence, you look up at him through fluttering lashes.

“I missed you.”

He looks at you longingly, a soft smile forming on his face.

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”

You bring out a tube of antiseptic and apply it to his hand. It’s not that bad of a cut, just enough to draw a bit of blood. You grab a bandage and wrap it around his palm. His hand is so big that it takes a good chunk of the covering out of the kit.

Jake smiles when you’re done, and when you look up at him his eyes flicker.

“Kiss it better for me?”

His voice is soft, and questionable. You bite your lip, and grab his hand in yours. His blue skin is warm and inviting.

Your lips come down to kiss the bandaged cut. Soft, and you breathe against his skin as you do it longer than you should. When you pull away Jake’s opposite hand comes up to stroke your hair away from your face.

“You’re so tiny. Do you know that?“

The statement catches you off guard, and you frown.

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all.” he states softly. His hand strokes your cheek in slow circles. “I think it’s perfect.”

You and Jake have had intimate moments like this. Moments before he even became na’vi, when he worked with you and became your close friend. And there was always someone to interrupt that moment.

There isn’t now, though.

And so Jake moves you closer. His hands grab your arms. He’s gentle, as to not disturb his wound. And he pulls you onto his large thighs. You gasp, your legs moving onto either side of his, and it’s hard to do, really. He’s so wide in comparison to you that it causes a mild burning stretch in your groin. He moves closer, his lips warm against your ear.

“Do you feel how big I am?”

You shiver, beginning to squirm in his lap. As he pulls you to his chest.

“W-What?”

“I said..”

He grabs your hand, a small growl emitting from his throat. And, without warning, places your fingertips against his covered crotch.

“Do you feel how big I am?”

A small squeak spills from your lips when he commits the action. His bulge is big. Huge, even. You don’t know how he manages to cover it up with that thin piece of fabric.

“Yes.” You breathe out. His eyes are locked onto yours with a burning and intense desire.

“Kiss me.” He demands.

You obey him instantly, moving up to him and crashing your mouth onto his. You’re desperate, hands moving up to his brunette locks and give them a harsh tug. Jake groans, his tongue sliding into your mouth with ease. He tastes sweet, and his sharp canines scrape against your bottom lip. When he pulls away, it’s because you’re grinding down onto him and making him throw his head back in pleasure.

“Sweetheart..” he moans out.

“You’re so big,” you say, whiny and breathless. “I want you inside me, sir. Want you to be my first.”

“Goddamn, sweet girl. Are you sure you can take it?”

“I’ll take is so well for you, daddy.” You’re moving down to pull the loin cloth off of his dick. As expected, he’s enormous. Bigger than any human could ever possibly be. Fifteen inches and blue, with a slight curve and a long thick vein going right down the middle. The mushroomed tip of him is drenched in sticky liquid. Your mouth waters, as you go to stick your mouth to his girthy length. Licking a stripe up the vein, your eyes roll back when your tongue runs over a string of precum. He tastes divine.

“Good girl,” Jake praises, when you begin to kiss his tip. “Good fuckin’ girl..”

You whimper, and open your mouth wide. He’s too thick to even stick inside your mouth. You make a sound of disapproval at this realization, but that’s quickly forgotten when he’s grabbing your hair, fastening it into a ponytail, and telling you to spit on him. You do, leaving a wet puddle of drool on him. And then he holds you still and begins to hump your face. Your spit rubs against your own skin, and when his balls come in contact with your face your rubbing your open mouth on them desperately.

“Wetting that cock so good, baby, keep doing that. Gotta get you ready so I can stretch out that tight little cunt.”

The thought of his cock cramming itself inside you and stretching you beyond your limits makes you mewl, and although you should be scared to fuck such a big cock, you aren’t. The only thing you can think about is your needy hole being filled with Jake’s hot cum. You pull off of his balls with a pop, looking up at him with pretty Bambi eyes.

“Can you use your fingers on me, daddy?”

“Yeah, honey, yeah,” Jake murmurs. He’s overwhelmed, his face and neck incredibly hot. He brings his own hand to his cock, to relieve the ache of wanting to pummel you until your pussy breaks. “Shit, take that skirt off and lay down.”

You do, unzipping the pink fabric and pushing it, along with your underwear, down. Your pussy is swollen and aching, and when you lay down on the floor Jake pulls you toward him. He grabs your ankles and pulls your legs apart. And when your dripping cunt is revealed to him, he has to stop himself from shoving into you. Your pussy is red, clit swollen and juices trailing down your ass. The curly hair at the top of your snatch is almost adorable. And when Jake watches your little hole clench around nothing, he growls.

“Fuckin’ perfect. A human man wouldn’t know what to do with this little virgin pussy. Would he?”

You shake your head, watching as his index finger runs a stripe up your slit. You squirm, feeling his fingertip begin to sink into your hole. He gets to the first knuckle, and pauses. You furrow your brows in confusion, beginning to whine. He chuckles when he feels you clench around his finger.

“Needy? Haven’t even put a whole finger in and you’re all fucked out.”

“Please, daddy. I need it s’ bad.”

Your begging seems to work, because then he’s sinking it all the way in. And then, without warning, he shoves his middle finger inside of you, too. You cry out, the stretch something you aren’t even used to with your own fingers, let alone his. Wet gushing sounds emit from you when Jake begins to speed up his pace.

“Slutty girl. Look at you, dripping around my fingers, aren’t you? Yeah, fuck that pussy on my fingers, you pathetic slut.”

You mewl, your hips chasing that delicious friction of his fingers rubbing your inner walls. He attempts to squeeze his ring finger in, and when it pops tightly into your stretched hole you gasp out.

“Too much..” you mumble, your eyes shut and tongue lolling out.

“And you say you can take me? Baby, this is only three fingers. I might need to put my whole hand in here to make it fit.”

“Oh, god.” You say. “Jake..”

“I know.” His pinkie ghosts over the rim of your hole. “Think you can fit this in there?”

“I.. I don’t know..”

“It’s okay, sweetness. We’ll make it fit. Won’t we?”

You nod, dazed and confused, your pussy hurting from how good being stretched beyond your limit feels. The tip of Jake’s pinky slips in, and the tight fit feels incredibly snug. But you relax anyway, and it slips in with ease.

You huff, trying to calm yourself down as you drip all over the floor. His thumb is the only finger that isn’t in, and with skill he begins to rub your clit in slow circles.

“Daddy..” you slur. You can feel your orgasm drawing closer, Jake not even moving his fingers inside you but you still quake around the digits. He makes one small thrust into you. He massages a part of your walls that has you fucking into his hand. He smiles as he watches you become desperate for him. And without warning he begins to finger fuck you. Your wetness splashes all around your thighs and onto his wrist, and you a throaty moan pours from your throat. Your walls accommodate to his fingers quickly, and in no time your gaping snatch is being brutally manhandled by his strong hands.

Your eyes roll back, and as he massages your clit your hips surge up and you cum all over his fingers.

Jake grins, a proud smile on his face as you squeeze around him.

“Such a good little girl. That’s it, that’s it, honey.”

When you come down from your orgasm, your head spins from the high of it all. He slowly pulls his fingers out. When you’re empty you can feel your pussy gaping.

You haven’t even got to his cock yet. That’s what goes through your head, as you look at his incredibly large length resting against his stomach. It’s going to destroy you.

This is when you begin to get nervous. Can a vagina even handle that big of a length? It can give birth to babies though, right? So it should be okay..

You’re supposed to be a scientist, but you don’t know.

Jake’s hand on your cheek brings your attention back. It seems you’ve zoned out.

“Stay with me, baby.”

You nod, your hand covering his as you kiss his thumb sweetly.

“‘M here, Jake. I-“ his thumb is brushing over your lip, now, and it makes your head spin. “-I want you so bad.”

“Yeah?”

Your lips wrap around his thumb with ease, and you suckle gently. He groans, his body climbing in between your spread legs. His tip taps your clit, and your legs shake from the stimulation of your overly sensitive button.

“Spread this little pussy for me.” Jake says gruffly.

A whine emits from your throat as your fingers move down and open your lips up for him. His cock rubs up against your slit, and he moves forward to push himself into you.

It’s only the tip, but it still pains you. He leans forward, a grunt leaving his lips as his hands go to the sides of your head. He pushes in a bit more, and you gasp in shock; his girth is the worst (and best) part of it all.

“Daddy.. s’big!” You cry out. “Feels..”

You don’t know how it feels. All you know is that he’s throbbing and spilling warm ropes of precum into your sweet cunt, a burn starting in your pussy because of the stretch. He leans down to your ear, pressing a kiss behind it.

“That’s my fuckin’ girl. Take that dick, bitch.”

His voice is a low whisper, and his roughness surprises you. You definitely don’t hate it, though. And when he pushes into you another few inches, your eyes roll back and tears fill your eyes from the pleasure and pain. You don’t know what’s overtaken Jake, but he’s growling low in your ear as he takes your cunt with all he has.

“Filthy little size queen..” he moans, feeling your tight heat as it wraps around him. “All your good for is being my little cocksleeve. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, oh my god!” Your legs quiver. He chuckles, darkly.

“I’m halfway in.” He states. “Surprised you haven’t split yet.”

He says it so easily, as if he isn’t literally risking your life right now. His gentleness from earlier is gone, now.

“Wouldn’t mind if I did..” you mumble quietly.

He scoffs, amused. “What was that?”

His cock pushes further in. You groan, looking down at watching in awe as your pussy lips stretch obscenely around him.

You yelp when his hand comes down to spank your tits.

“Don’t fuckin’ ignore me. What did you say?” He demands.

“I said I wouldn’t mind if I did!” You repeat, a small moan mixing with your words. “Put it all the way in, daddy, break me, please!”

His eyes turn a shade darker as he bares his fangs at you. “Yeah? You want it all the way? Huh?”

His cock is forcing its way inside you, and he has no mercy as he pushes his dick inside your tight heat. You sob, tears beginning to stream down your cheeks, as he forces your cunt to adjust to him.

“Little pussy’s choking me, fuck.”

You can tell that even now he’s trying to hold himself back a bit longer so he doesn’t actually hurt you.

He pauses at a certain point. It’s like he can practically feel your cervix stopping his cock from entering any further. You’ve taken about twelve inches of his him, and he’s kissing the squishy wall at the very end of your gummy walls. It’s not necessarily a pleasant feeling, but your neediness makes it barely noticeable.

And when Jake looks down, a strangled moan comes out of him. Because there, in that space just below your tummy, the outline of his cock rests inside of you.

“Oh my god…”

He pulls out a few inches, and then presses himself back into that same spot. You whimper, the feeling of him throbbing inside of you igniting a fire in your belly.

Or maybe it’s his cock.

He grabs your throat in a tight grip as he directs your head to look down at the outline of skin that his cock rests under. “See how deep I am, angel?”

“It’s so much..”

“I know. It feels good getting used, doesn’t it? Little girl likes her hole being filled?”

You don’t even aknowledge what he says, just trying to take more even though it hurts. “Fuck me!”

“Patience.” Jake quips, as he pulls out until only the tip is left in you. And then he slams forward, hard and rough, and the sound you let out is almost animalistic. It hurts, but it hurts so damn good.

He begins to pummel your walls, no mercy as his thrusts quicken second by second. He grabs your ankles with his hands and practically bends you in half to watch your ass clench and your needy pussy get torn open by him. When he sees that blood is coating is cock, he begins to growl again.

“Fuckin’ pussy is bleeding. Slutty fucking hole can’t take daddy’s dick, can it?”

“I c-can, sir.”

It’s not true, and you both know it. But the look in your eyes makes Jake not be able to stop. You look too delicious, too fucked out and filthy, for him to stop ramming himself into you. He brings his fingers down to your clit, begins to toy with it, and you sob as your orgasm draws closer.

“Daddy! Pleasepleaseplease..” is all you can say as your high crashes over you and your wetness gushes all around him. He moans, watching your squirt land on his thighs and soak his fingers.

“Good little bitch.” He huffs out. You can tell he’s close, too. His hips are stuttering and his eyes are shut tightly as welcoming cunt takes him.

“Cum inside me, daddy,” you slur. “Fill me up with your hot cum. Need it s’bad..”

“Shit!” His hips still, and your eyes widen as you feel his hot cum squirting against your bruised cervix. His cock pulses as he releases his sticky seed inside your womb. When he stills, your breathing slows and you gently grasp his shoulders. He pulls out, hesitantly, and you let out a small cry when you feel your hole gape around nothing. He notices your shaking thighs.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

You nod, satisfied and happy at what just occurred. Jake brings a kiss to your forehead, and you fall asleep right there on the floor, fucked out and dreamy.

When you wake up, Jake is still there, holding you in his arms as he sleeps, too. He never left.

[mobbu-min]

☆ Pretty Boy ☆

(ft. the vice housewardens)

requested by anon: the pretty boy hcs were so cuteee 😭💕 would you be able to do those for the vice leaders as well?

and

@crienosaur and @donuelle

a/n: i feel like this is all over the place, but i really enjoyed lilia's part. imma try to get the first years part out soon. also idk for the longest time i thought that jade and floyds last name was tweel and honestly idk where i got that from :/

characters: trey clover, ruggie bucchi, jade leech, jamil viper, rook hunt, ortho shroud (platonic) and lilia vanrouge

!tw! insecurities, grammar mistakes im too lazy to fix again

Trey Clover <3

⋆ a deep chuckle came from Trey's chest. He may look unaffected but judging by the way his shaky hands cover his rosy cheeks tells a different story.

⋆ He's used to people thinking not much of him tbh. Trey knows he's considered attractive, he has a nice face, a nice body and a nice personality.

⋆ Nice, that's all he is. That's all he's ever been told. Not once has he ever looked at himself and thought pretty. Not a single time

⋆ But the way you sighed it out had him second guessing himself. Had him looking in the mirror and noticing a ton of things about himself he's never seen before.

⋆ Has his eyelashes always been so long? Lips so full and soft? Cheeks flushed a soft peach hue and kissed by the particles of the sun?

⋆ Trey, like many others, doesn't understand how you got to this conclusion at first. But maybe, for once, he'll be fine with being called something other than nice. 

⋆ Trey will happily settle for pretty.

"Hey there, Prefect! Hope I'm not interrupting anything but I've made too many sweets for the next Unbirthday Party, so I was wondering if you'll take them off my hand…Hmm? Ehehe, I didn't even plan it! I guess I accidentally made your favorite again."

(he did it on purpose fyi)

Ruggie Bucchi <3

⋆ You have a weird taste, Ruggie thinks to himself, staring at you with a rosy blush, his tail wagging behind him, But I am the cutest. 

⋆ Ruggie is in heaven. Him, pretty? He sure is. The prettiest to pretty. Ruggie’s another one that wants to rub it in everyone’s face. 

⋆ But he’s also intimidated by the possible meaning behind it. Does that mean you like him too? Ah! He’s getting excited just by thinking about it! But wait? Does that mean he’ll have to pay for stuff? Can’t you just-wait, nevermind, you’re equally as broke as him. 

⋆ Maybe you  won’t mind working shifts at Monstro Lounge together as bonding time? Perhaps? Please?

⋆ Ruggie balances on a thin line of screaming his lungs out and melting on the spot. Ruggie knows his appearance is…less to be desired by the vast majority. So for you to call him pretty so unabashedly, boy is he going to get that tattooed on his forehead.

⋆ But beware, he will bring it up in conversation. You are not spared from his teasing.

“Don’t give me that look. Doesn’t the pretty boy get the last bite~? Shishishi, I sure do love that look~”

Jade Leech <3

⋆ Confident, smug and annoying af. 

⋆ That’s the effect it had on Jade. You really shouldn’t have said his name, because this boy (eel? mereel?) will show his face the moment you say it. A stupidly scary smile on his stupidly pretty face. Scaring the living daylights out of you and everyone else nearby. 

⋆ Whisking you away like the gentleman he is. 

⋆ Really it’s just him taking you because you're too frozen in shock to do anything about it. 

⋆ Does he confess?

⋆ Kinda.

⋆ He takes you to the Monstro Lounge and gives you a free meal he cooked himself. So it’s really up in the air. 

⋆ Jade has never felt more pleased. Sure the scared look Azuls client gives him is nice. Or the feeling of finding extremely rare mushroom species is amazing. But being called pretty by the one and only Ramshackle prefect is another feeling entirely. 

⋆ Not only is it from someone he finds deeply amusing and pretty themselves. But he knows for a fact plenty of people are going to be incredibly jealous over this.

⋆ Ah, if only you knew the affects you had on them and most importantly, Jade.

“Please enjoy. I know that look and you have nothing to fear. There’s no cost to this meal… Oh dear, well, if you are not convinced, then how about this offer? (whispering softly) If you don’t enjoy this meal, I’ll personally take you out. Just you and me.”

Jamil Viper <3

⋆ Please tell him Kalim set you up? Or Azul, or anyone!

⋆ Jamil doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle it if you were joking. You really need to take other people's feelings into consideration, Prefect. Don't you know it’s rude to pla- huh? You meant it?

⋆ Cue, Jamil hiding in his hood. 

⋆ This has never happened before. Well it happened once, but he had to reject her because she would be a distraction to his job, but let’s not talk about that. 

⋆ And Jamil is so used to not being seen. So, for you to excitedly shout how pretty he was without shame or hesitation, made him gasp in shock. Pretty, you think he’s pretty. 

⋆ Jamil would have just brushed it off (he’s lying, he wouldn’t) thinking that you were merely thinking of his outward appearance. Something he does take care of, but you just have to be full of surprises. 

⋆ Of course you decided to recount all the times he’s helped you, or made you food, or walked you back to your dorm, or- yeah you get the gist. You had no shame in saying despite all his flaws, Jamil has the best personality. That he’s pretty in the inside, as well as the out. 

⋆ Jamil had to sit down to recollect his emotions. Pretty outside and in. You saw him as pretty all round. You saw him. You recognize Jamil. 

⋆ Great Sevens, Jamil really fighting back his inner demons (crying, he’s fighting back crying) 

⋆ But that feeling immediately burst into a thousand fireworks simultaneously bursting in his chest. Igniting his body in warmth like the setting sun in the Scalding Sands. Like the curry his mother made for him whenever he felt ill. Jamil has never felt more at peace than he did now. 

⋆ All because of a simple six letter word uttered by you.

“Oh, you have something in your hair. Here let me get it for you…Hmm? He, are you ill? Your face is quite warm, Prefect. My hand feels like ice compared to your cheeks…Haha, my apologies, Prefect. I just think you look quite pretty, all flustered.”

Rook Hunt <3

⋆ Rook is swooning with joy! The prettiest person in his world thinks he’s pretty as well! (he ignored the part where you said weird after)

⋆ He is already down bad for you, so for you to call him pretty??? This man cannot contain himself. He’s truly fighting his inner demons.

⋆ Rook is incredibly quick to act on his feelings. Knowing him, Rook has already broken into your room layed roses all over your bed, lit scented candles and has some really over the top music playing in the background. 

⋆ It's sweet if you overlook the fact that he broke in. He truly is the most romantic person out of all NCR.

⋆ Makes you call him your ‘pretty boy’ and won’t respond to any other nickname.

"Ah! My pretty trickster! What did I say about calling me by my name? …Ah! How wonderful! I will never get over my name coming from your darling lips!”

Ortho Shroud <3

⋆ You think his brother is pretty! And him too!?!

⋆ Ortho’s over the moon! His favorite person (beside his brother) thinks he’s pretty! He already thinks of you like a big sibling, so Ortho's bouncing off the wall at your praise. It’s so cute, that he immediately zooms to you and hugs you so tightly. Exclaiming that he thinks you're pretty too!

⋆ He’s literally the sweetest! Please call him pretty again, Ortho will just explode in excitement. 

⋆ But don’t think you're safe. Just because Ortho sees you as a big sibling, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want it to actually happen. And what did you happen to say right before you called him pretty?

⋆ Yeah, you called his big brother pretty and you want to know something more? Well, his big brother has a crush on you, so do you want to know what role Orthos immediately takes on? 

⋆ Yeah, wingman. A pretty good one at that. 

⋆ You and Idia will know no peace. 

“Your heartbeat increased when you saw big brother right now! Is it because you said he was pretty? Hehe, don’t worry he thinks you're pretty too! But, you still think I’m the prettiest right? Yay! You’re the best!”

Lilia Vanrouge <3

⋆ Pleasantly surprised. A small pretty smile graced his lips and he placed a finger to his lips. Humming deep in thought. So you thought he was pretty? How intriguing. You’re truly full of surprises aren’t you?

⋆ Lilia actually finds it cute. Endearing really. Because who would have thought that you, a person from another world, would find him the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. He feels smug and overjoyed at the same time.

⋆ Like Rook, Lilia wasted no time in tracking you down and telling you he thinks you're really pretty too. He doesn’t want to risk you being taken by another. Nu-uh, no way!

⋆ Lilia has a…way with words. It’s kinda creepy, kinda concerning, but overall incredibly sweet! His little bat friends (children?) flutter around you, bringing you fresh fruit and flowers. They like you just as much as they like Lilia.

⋆ Afterall, you’ve made Lilia so happy, how couldn’t they?

“Kehehe, you’re truly full of surprises! I simply can’t get enough! But…(whispers) please do only refer to me as that my dear. Don't want anyone else taking what’s mine~”

[a-kaash-me-outside]

not fair - ch1

in which your boyfriend is perfect in every single way... except for one and kei can't just sit back and watch you suffer... ch1 | next [masterlist]

// "i don't know if you could handle me" ~ ᴛsᴜᴋɪsʜɪᴍᴀ ᴋᴇɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ~ 9731 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

a look into this chapter/tw: 18+ super nfsw!, cheating (seriously, major plot point), use of character first names (idk what got into me when i wrote this 3 years ago), degradation, choking, face-fucking, dom/sub undertones, face slapping, stop light system, squirting, dirty talk, mentions of unconscious fucking, the smallest amount of plot that becomes more prevalent as the chapters continue on, soft after sex kei, cross posted from ao3, afab reader she/her pronouns

send an ask and i’ll add ya to the taglist! ~ ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

It wasn’t unusual for Kei to be over while Tadashi was out of town. It happened quite frequently, actually. You two were best friends, even before Tadashi was in the picture. You never let anything come between you two, not even Tadashi. Tadashi understood too. He was never jealous of the time that you spent together or accusing towards the two of you and flirting remarks you would pass. You and Kei were just… well, you and Kei.

But tonight was different. Tonight, you were in yours and Tadashi’s bedroom, which wasn’t the unusual part. Tonight, you were both on the bed, which also wasn’t the unusual part. Tonight, you were sitting with your chin on Kei’s chest and your leg between his legs, your knee resting on his crotch. This wasn’t even an unusual position for the two of you, who often would press yourselves together in intimate positions. Tonight, you finally admitted to Kei that Tadashi has only made you come twice in the entire time that you’ve been together. 

“What? Like, dating? Or?” Kei asks, his eyebrows furrowed together, looking thoroughly disgusted and confused, “because it could just be that you’re both too soft n-.”

“Like, ever, Kei,” you interrupt, looking just as confused and disgusted as Kei was. 

“That’s horrible,” he scoffs, “You just let that happen?”

“I don’t let it happen, Kei. It just happens.” You rest your head completely on his chest, sighing dramatically. “He’s amazing. He’s incredible. He’s so nice and he’s kind and he’s pretty and he’s everything that I need!” 

Kei scoffs again at your words, “but he can’t make you come?”

“But he can’t make me come,” you repeat, shaking your head against Kei’s chest and then look back up at him. “I just, I haven’t gotten off from someone else in so long. Only me, alone, in the bathroom.”

“That’s so sad,” Kei says, the disgusted look still lingering.

“What else am I supposed to do about it?” you groan, frustrated. 

“Get someone else to fuck you,” Kei shrugs. He doesn’t laugh or hint at a joke. He’s being serious.

“Wha- What? I can’t do that…,” you hide your face from Kei, ensuring that he doesn’t see the redness on your cheeks.

“Sure you can. Look, you have needs, okay. He can’t satisfy them. You just have someone else do it.”

“I don’t trust anyone enough to do that.” You feel horrible even contemplating the option. A terrible light bulb goes off in your head. 

“You…,” you start, hesitantly. Kei’s eyes widen immediately at the start of your sentence. 

“No. No, absolutely not. He’s my best friend,” Kei shakes his head.

“You’re my best friend,” you say, softly. “I don’t trust anyone else! You said it yourself. I have needs, Kei. He can’t satisfy them. I have to find someone else to do it.”

“You’re really going to use my own words against me?” 

“Yes,” you state so matter-of-factly. 

“No. I won’t,” he shakes his head, looking away from you, but not moving you from on top of him.

“Kei, please! I couldn’t do this with anyone else, but I’m just,” you take a deep breath, ready to lay all of your shame out on the table. “I need this. I’m so desperate, please.” Kei introduced this idea to you and so quickly you needed it to become a reality. You needed it to become a reality with Kei. 

Kei looks you over, your chin pressed against his sternum as he breaths. “Fine. You want to know the real reason?” Your interest is piqued. You tilt your head, curiously. 

“Hm?” You can’t believe you’re even having this conversation, but now you’re in too deep. 

“I don’t know if you can handle me,” Kei pushes you off of him and promptly gets off the bed. 

“Wha- What do you mean?!” You’re offended. He’s acting like you’ve never had sex with a condescendingly cold person before. You scoff at this statement, rolling your eyes dramatically, and standing up with him, following him.

“I mean, I don’t think you can handle me,” he repeats himself, not wavering his tone or message. He adds after a second of your angry face, “You’ve been with Tadashi for almost 2 years. You guys have probably been having vanilla, missionary sex, maybe doggy style if you’re feeling extra spicy, the entire time you’ve been together.” He waits for your objections before continuing, interrupting them, “I know I’m not wrong and I know Tadashi. He’s just as nice and “sorry, (y/n)!” in his day to day as he is in bed.” You’re silent. You know he’s not wrong. 

Tadashi has always been so accommodating and kind in every aspect of your relationship. He tries so hard in bed, he really does, but he’s made you cum maybe twice in your entire relationship with the help of yourself, though he would probably claim many more times than that seeing how often you fake it. You hate yourself for it, but you’ve tried so hard to teach him, to show him, to tell him exactly what you want and how to do it, but he never gets it. It’s exhausting and has been way easier to just to fake it and then finger yourself later in the bathroom after he’s gone to sleep.

You want Kei so badly. You want to come so badly and you know that right now is your only chance. “I- I can handle you.” Your voice is much more timid and much less convincing than you anticipate it being. 

“I don’t think you can.” Kei’s voice, in contrast, is steady and low, already causing your core to feel warm. 

“I can, Kei, I can. Please,” you hold onto his arm, looking up at his face, pleading, “please.” You sound much more confident, and also much more despairing as you whine for him. He looks at you for a few moments, his eyes trailing up and down your body and finally stopping on your eyes, searching for the overwhelming excitement and consent that he needs to move forward.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asks. This is the final time he’s going to ask or question you. He needs you to be absolutely positive because he’s not going to hold back. You nod desperately. “Verbal consent, (y/n), I’m serious.”

“Yes, fuck, yes, Kei, please. I need this. Please, I can handle it, anything, please.” The string of words leaves your mouth quickly. Kei waits another few seconds after, giving you plenty of time to change your mind before closing the gap between you both. His lips are on yours and his tongue is in your mouth so quickly. He’s holding your jaw as he tastes every inch of the inside of your mouth. He sucks your tongue into his mouth, hard, allowing you to explore his mouth. His tongue is harsh against yours, but it feels so good. He pulls away abruptly, already lifting your shirt over your head and running his hands down your body, his hands sculpting around every curve. 

“If at any time this gets too much for you,” he presses kisses into your neck, nudging your chin upwards as he starts to softly roll the skin between his teeth. “Yellow means we’re moving to somewhere you’re uncomfortable with.” He licks your neck, pressing his entire tongue against your skin. When he pulls away, the air is cool against the freshly wet flesh. “Red means that you’re uncomfortable and you want to stop immediately.” He moves down to your collarbones, nibbling on them and breathing heavily against them. 

“If you can’t speak,” he grabs your hand and taps 3 distinct, hard times against your skin with two fingers. “3 taps, hard so that I can feel them without a doubt, and two fingers to know it’s intentional.” His eyes are on yours, his look stern and serious. “Do you understand?” You nod, overwhelmed with all of this information.

“(y/n), verbal consent. I don’t fuck around,” he says, his eyebrows raised expectantly. 

“Yes,” you nod confidently, despite the questions forming in the back of your mind. Maybe you couldn’t handle him. You weren’t expecting this level of safety precautions, maybe just a safeword considering how he made out that you couldn’t handle him. Maybe he was right. 

“Repeat.” Kei’s lips are back on your throat, sucking the skin so hard that you feel the bruises forming almost instantly. His hands are reached around to your back, one hand sliding down over your ass and the other unhooking your bra before you notice what he’s doing. He tosses it to the side and presses himself against you, your nipples dragging against the fabric of his shirt as he massages into the flesh of your ass. 

You can’t exactly think straight, but it’s important that you remember these even when you can’t think. “Y- Yellow means caution, that I’m starting to f- feel uncomfortable about something.” Kei digs his fingers into your flesh as he moves his head down, capturing your nipple in his mouth and twirling his tongue around it. “Fuck,” you moan, tilting your head back. 

He pulls away from your nipple, the cold air feeling even colder on your spit sheened nipple, causing it to get even harder. “What else?” 

You answer quickly, just wanting to feel his tongue on your nipples again. “Re- Red means that you- that I- I want you to stop because I’m- I don’t like it- I’m uncomfortable.” Your nipple is back in his mouth. He’s sucking on it with such purpose, the suction sending waves of pleasure through your body. 

“A- And, I’m going to, ta- tap on you to- to show you, but please, please don’t stop, Kei.” You grab onto his shoulder and tap with two fingers against his back, 3 times with enough force for him to feel them. He listens to you, nodding as you tap against him, but keeping your nipple in his mouth. He rolls it between his teeth, bringing his hand up to pinch the other one between his fingers. “Fuck,” you breath. 

He stops, coming back up to face you. “Good.” His fingers are making quick work of your button and zippers and are quickly in the waistband of your jeans, pulling them to the ground, but leaving you in your underwear. On his way back up, he runs his hand up the inside of your leg, following your ankle to your calf to your inner thigh leading to your pussy as he uses one finger to rub once between your slit, pressing harder into your clit, rubbing two circles before stopping and stepping backward. You can’t help but moan at this tiny, delicate touch. He’s still fully dressed and you’re suddenly aware of what you probably look like. Your instinct is to try to cover yourself up from Kei’s hungry eyes, but he starts rubbing his cock through his pants. Your eyes are drawn to the bulge in his jeans. You feel your panties get even wetter as you see how big the bulge is. You’re almost positive that Kei could see how much wetter you got, how the dark spot on your panties grew when he started rubbing himself. 

He pulls his own shirt off and you marvel at how toned his body is, how perfect his skin is. He takes a step towards you, his hard bulge only inches away from your thigh. Your breath stills. “Take them off, baby,” he encourages. You listen to him, beginning to lower yourself to your knees, but he holds your elbow, not allowing you to drop. “From here.” You’re confused at first until he uses his hand to rub in between your lips through your panties. “I want to be able to touch you.”

You nod, your breath skipping as you try your hardest to focus on undoing his buckle. It seems like such a difficult task right now, your mind completely infatuated with the feeling of Kei’s long finger rubbing against the doused fabric of your panties. You seriously can’t figure out how to undo his stupid buckle, but he just lets you struggle. You think that he’s being nice as he pulls his finger away, allowing you a moment to think straight, but he brings the finger up and sticks it into your mouth. “Suck,” he says, low. You listen, sucking on his finger, trying to multitask and undo his buckle. “Sloppier, baby,” he coerces. You listen again, your fingers on his buckle stilling and focus on the spit drooling out of your mouth. He pulls the finger from your mouth and places it back between your lips, pressing harder into your clit and moving faster, pushing your panties in between your lips until your bare lips are exposed and your panties are bunched up between them, completely hidden. Kei’s finger slips past the panties, dipping into your flood for just a moment before running his finger back down the strip of your panties, pushing at your hole. Your moans are fluttering as you try to sink onto his fingers. He holds on in place harshly. 

He starts counting down. You’re confused, so confused. You don’t know why he’s counting down or what will happen when you reach the end of it, but you’re hoping for the finger to enter you. “3… 2… 1…” You close your eyes in anticipation, but he pulls his hands away completely. 

“I- Kei- No, please, why?” you beg.

“I told you what to do and you were too busy and concerned with what you wanted. Now I’m not going to touch you,” he says so matter-of-factly. You wanted to laugh. You thought it was a joke. You needed it to be a joke, but now Kei is taking off his own buckle, which he does in 10 seconds, might you add. He’s taking off his own belt, throwing it gently to the side and undoing his zipper and button. 

“Kei,” you whine, “It’s… It’s not fair.” You’re pouting. You know he doesn’t find it cute and amusing when you see his facial expressions. “It’s just… You were making me feel so good.”

He scoffs, “Just from that? Tadashi must be treating you worse than I thought.” Your cheeks burn at the mention of your boyfriend’s name. You want to tell him to stop saying his name, but you know he won’t listen to you anyways. Instead, you just nod at him. He laughs.

“Please, Kei. I couldn’t focus,” you complain, trying to excuse yourself, but he’s not listening or he doesn’t care or maybe both. He pulls down his jeans, only the thin fabric of his boxers are covering his hard, long member. You swallow, hard, looking at how big he is. Tadashi isn’t necessarily small, but he’s definitely not big, and more so, he’s definitely not this big. Your eyes are glued to Kei’s boxers as he pulls them down, releasing his cock. A gasp escapes your lips, a sharp inhale into your lungs as you truly take in how big he is. He’s not just long, but he’s thick. You’re getting even wetter as you think about everything you want to do to him and what you want him to do to you. 

“Can you listen this time?” he asks, condescendingly, a disgusted look on his face. You nod excessively, so quickly that your vision blurs. You’re ready to do anything that he asks you to do. You just want to touch his cock. He smirks at how eager you are. “Take your panties off for me, baby. Nice and slow. Turn around when you do it.” He knows exactly what he wants. 

You start pulling your panties down, slowly, like he’s asked of you. You want to have them completely off, but you know you have to listen to Kei especially after last time. When the panties are to your knees, you’re facing completely away from him. “Bend over.” His words are so commanding and harsh. You do as he says, bending over to pull your panties all the way down to the floor. You can feel how exposed your pussy is from behind in between your legs, can feel the air highlighting every inch of wetness.

You hear Kei step closer to you as you stand their frozen, your panties around your ankles. You can feel his cock graze in between your legs just briefly before he controls it, ensure that no part of you is touched. He leans forwards, pressing his hips against your ass and brushing his cock between your lips for the smallest fraction of a second. “What does Tadashi call you while he’s fucking you?” The question stuns you, your knees buckling and your heart beginning to race. You know that you’re almost fucking his best friend, but you don’t need to be reminded of him every few minutes. Still, you know that Kei wants an answer and you want Kei to be good to you, so you answer. 

“H- He calls me sweetheart,” you stutter. Kei actually laughs, stepping back away from you and holding his stomach as he repeats it. 

“He calls you sweetheart when he’s fucking you?” he asks, trying to make sure he heard that right. 

“Yes.” You suddenly feel more embarrassed at this admission than you do at the position you’re in. He grips onto your hips and you want him to enter you so badly, but instead he turns you around to face him and gently pushes you onto the bed, lying flat on your back, your head propped up against a pillow. 

“Spread em,” he gestures towards your legs as he spits into his own hand, slicking his cock as you spread your legs open, exposing yourself to Kei. 

Kei is towering overtop of you, a knowing smirk on his face as he moves the fist he’s made around his cock, stroking slowly, squeezing his hand as he gets to the head and letting the pressure off as he returns back to the base. You know how desperate you look underneath him. You don’t need to see it in his glasses to know, but you do, and it makes you even wetter. Your legs are spread apart, the breeze from the fan making you painfully aware of how warm and flooded you are and how erect your nipples are. Your hands are beside each retrospective hip, gripping onto the sheets, waiting for him to enter you, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t even get closer. 

“Touch yourself,” Kei sneers. You don’t know what to do. You heard his words clearly, but your body isn’t making any move to do what he’s asked of you. You wanted Kei to touch you, you didn’t want to do it yourself. He takes a step towards you, his hand around his cock moving faster. “Let me see you play with yourself, sweetheart. Show me,” he coos, his tone changing to endearing in such a short amount of time. Hearing Kei call you what Tadashi calls you shakes your entire soul. You feel so conflicted but so hot. You want to hear it again. It sounds so much better coming out of his mouth. It makes you want to please him. You want to make him proud. 

You nod at him, timidly moving your hand down to clit and rubbing small, diffident circles into it. Your fingers don’t feel nearly as good as Kei’s did a few minutes ago. It doesn’t help that he’s watching you so intently either. It’s embarrassing to be completely open and on display like this, lying underneath someone who wasn’t your boyfriend, but, rather, your boyfriend’s best friend, your best friend. You have to shake the thought out of your mind before your body doesn’t allow you to get off. You close your eyes, trying to focus on the sensations of your fingertips brushing against your swollen clit. Your eyes are only shut for a few seconds before Kei is clearing his throat. 

“Eyes open. Look at me,” Kei clarifies. His hand hasn’t stopped moving as he’s scanning your body, evidently very happy with what he sees. Even with this gorgeous sight in front of you, it’s hard for you to lose yourself in the moment being stared at so eagerly. “Both hands.” He tilts his chin up at you, gesturing at your hand that’s still gripped onto the sheets. 

With your other hand, you cup your tit, rolling your hard nipple in between your fingers while maintaining your pace with the other hand. “Good girl,” he says under his breath. A moan escapes you. He raises his eyebrow, cockiness seething from his smile. “Yeah? Are you my good girl?”

You nod obnoxiously, a strangled noise coming out of your throat as you move your attention from your nipples to your wet hole, teasing yourself with your fingertip. You’re getting into it now. The situation is weighing on you but in the best way possible. You look up at Kei and your mind is still screaming that he’s not your boyfriend, but the louder the voice gets inside your head, the wetter your desperate pussy gets. He’s not your boyfriend, but he’s here, watching you tease yourself and torture your own clit as he jerks off above you, because your boyfriend can’t get you off like Kei can; no one can get you off like Kei can. He knows it too. Even when you would try to get off in the bathroom after having sex with Tadashi, it never felt this fucking good. 

“Do you want to be a really good girl?” he asks, his hand now gently rubbing on your inner thigh. 

You know that he’s just using those words, that phrase, to get exactly what he wants, but it only makes you want him more. You would do anything to be good for him. You want him to use you, to satisfy his every need with any part of you that he wants to. “Please, please, Kei. I’ll do anything.” Your own voice surprises you at how desperate it sounds. 

“Sit up.” His tone has switched back to the harsh, commanding asshole that he was before as he grabs onto your arm right as you’re about to insert your finger fully into yourself. You let out a defeated sigh before sitting up, looking at him innocently. “Stay still,” he demands. Kei walks over to you, getting closer and closer until the tip of his head is pressed up against your lips. You go to open your jaw to take him into your mouth, but he stops you, holding your head still. 

“What did I say?” he growls at you, grasping a fistful of your hair as punishment. “Repeat it.” 

“Stay still,” you repeat, your lips opening slightly around his head, allowing some of the precome to line the inside of your lips. You want so badly to lick your lips, but you know that Kei wants you to just sit there, so you don’t move. Your head is still as he swipes the spongy head across your lips, stroking the length as he does so, causing more precome to drip out of the slit and onto your lips. He pushes forwards, but you keep your mouth still, the tip only entering into your mouth when he nestles it in there. It touches your closed teeth and you shutter, trying to keep as still as you can.

Kei moans as he drags his sensitive head across the fronts of your teeth, your cheek bulging as he slides it into the side of your mouth. The combination of his grunts, his hands in your hair, and the thought of him using you for his pleasure all have your pussy aching to be touched. You want to touch yourself so bad, but you know that Kei will be angry. 

“Open,” he finally tells you. You let your jaw fall open as you look up into his eyes, fluttering your lashes at him, but he doesn’t look at you like you’re adorable or cute or pretty, he looks at you like he’s starving. “Tongue out.” You instantly stick your tongue out. “Good girl.” Your pussy throbs. That’s all you wanted to hear from him. You want to hear it again. 

“Lick the precome from my slit, sweetheart.” There’s that name again, shaking your being. Kei positions his cock at the tip of your tongue. You’re not expecting the name and the specific language has you blushing. You do as you’re told, focusing the tip of your tongue to lick the precome from his slit. The salty sensation on your tongue makes your mouth water for more. Kei drags his head down your tongue before taking a step back. He hasn’t told you to move your head or your tongue, so you don’t, despite everything in your body telling you to whine and pout at how far away his cock is from your mouth now. You’re so focused on where his cock is that you don’t notice that he’s bent over towards you or the glob of spit that falls onto your tongue until it’s already coated it. 

You barely have any time to react, only savoring the taste for a moment, before Kei stands back up and rests as much of his cock as he can on your tongue without actually entering your mouth. The slickness of his spit on your tongue and your warm breath from panting causing Kei’s cock to pulse. You can feel it. Kei looks down at you and lets more spit drop from his tongue. You’re not sure if he missed or if this is where he was aiming, but the spit lands right beside your mouth, dripping down your chin and onto your chest. 

He’s thrusting his hips slowly, gliding the underside of cock across your tongue. Your jaw is already starting to ache from staying open so wide, but you don’t dare relax. It’s like Kei can read your mind. “Wider,” he grunts, angling the tip of his cock down. You force your jaw to open uncomfortably, but the smirk that Kei gives you is worth any amount of discomfort that you feel.

Kei gives you no warning as he forces his entire length down your throat in one swift movement, groaning as he feels how tight your throat is around him. You try to gasp in surprise, your gag reflex triggering as his cock slides down your throat, but he’s blocking your airway. You take in air from your nose, but it’s not enough. Kei doesn’t budge in the slightest, just strokes your hair as he mutters “good girl” over and over again. You focus on his words and your breathing and the fact that you’re making him feel good right now. 

“Tongue out,” he demands, his hands grabbing your hair now instead of stroking it. Your nose is pressed up against his stomach and your tongue is sticking out as far as you can force it out of your mouth. You can feel it grazing his balls, every time you flick your tongue, his grip in your hair gets tighter and his groans get more guttural. 

Drool is leaking out of the side of your mouth as Kei’s cock pulses in your throat. Your head feels light and you’re pushing back into Kei’s hands, desperately trying to get air. You need to get a good breath or you’re going to pass out. He pulls you off of his cock. You’re coughing and inhaling deeply several times trying to recover. Kei gives you these few seconds of reconciliation before starting to get annoyed. 

“Open,” he nods down to the spot that you were in before. You assume the same position, chin tilted up, tongue so far out that it’s painful, jaw aching from forcing it open so wide, your lips swollen and sheened with spit and precome. “Good girl. Fuck, you’re such a good girl.” You love to hear the praise coming out of his mouth. It’s making you drip. 

You’re expecting his cock, but see his eyes close to yours and now you can’t breathe for another reason. He spits in your open mouth, but not on your tongue this time. The spit goes directly down your throat and you let it slide all the way down. His fingers are wrapped around your throat putting pressure directly on your airway, quickly getting so tight that you can’t breathe again. “But I decide when I’m done with your throat. I decide when you get to breathe again. I decide when I pull your pretty fucking mouth off of me. You don’t get to make those decisions. If I want to fuck your throat until you pass out and keep fucking your throat when you’re unconscious on the floor, I’ll do that.” You want to moan at these sentences, at the thoughts that are now flooding your head, but you can’t. No noise comes out of your throat at all, it can’t. Your hand comes up and wraps around Kei’s wrists, your eyes roll back into your head as his grip gets tighter. He’s waiting intently to see if you want to tap out, but when he doesn’t feel any pressure against his wrist, he tightens even harder, his fingers shaking. “Do you understand?” he commands. You nod as best as you can. When he pulls his fist away, you take in so much air that your head starts to pulse. Your breaths can’t be large enough. “Now open.”

You assume the same position. Your breathing finally slows when he rests his balls on your tongue. You’d never done anything this dirty with Tadashi. This was foreign territory for you. “Suck.” You can feel him above you, stroking his cock as you take one of his balls into your mouth. The entire situation feels so dirty , but you can hear Kei’s moans and grunts and you never want to stop. You continue sucking, focusing on the ball in your mouth and your tongue against it. 

“Take both in your mouth, you fucking whore,” Kei says, getting into this very quickly. The degradation makes your clit throb and pussy clench. You open your mouth wider, taking the other ball into your mouth. Your mouth has never been this full before. Your nose is pressed against the underside of his cock, but you can barely focus on that. “Stop,” he grunts. You release both balls from your mouth with a pop , your tongue still sticking straight out, waiting for whatever he wants to do with you next. 

“Good girl. Deep breath” You listen to him. He slides his cock into your mouth as soon as you’ve taken a good breath, grunting at every inch that slides down your throat. He holds it there again. You close your eyes, focusing on your breathing, and making sure that you make it through. Then you feel a sting on your cheek, startling you. Kei’s palm had made contact with your cheek. Your eyes snap open. “Eyes on me. Look up at me, sweetheart.” You moan around his cock and he inhales at the vibrations around his length. A single tear rolls down your cheek as the residual sting lingers. Your breathing is okay, manageable this time until Kei plugs your nose. 

“You better open your throat wider or I’ll have to fuck your unconscious body and you won’t be able to cum. It’ll be just like Tadashi, huh?” Your eyes open even more so at this sentence. Kei pulls his hips back, taking most of his length out of your throat before slamming back in. You missed your small window for air. You sit, patiently waiting for him to start moving again. You breathe as much as you can as soon as he pulls back. You’ve forced your jaw open even wider and have allowed your throat to open, allowing the smallest bit of air in. 

Kei’s thrusts into your throat get more and more frequent each time until he’s pistoning into your mouth. His hips are thrusting into you, abusing your poor throat, at such a fast speed. Every few thrusts, he buries his cock as deep in your throat as he can, holding it there until he feels you starting to fall, your eyes rolling back, and your jaw relaxing. 

“Gag on my cock,” he commands, continuing, “I want to feel you gag on my cock. It feels so good when I feel your abused throat constrict around my cock. I’m too big for you, aren’t I? You’re so used to small cocks, aren’t you, sweetheart? You can barely handle how fucking big I am.” It’s true. It’s all true. 

He hits the back of your throat, your body convulsing slightly as you gag. You can feel the muscles in your throat tighten around his cock. He loves the feeling so much that he does it again. And then again. Your stomach is twisting as he hits it for the 4th time. He glides his cock down your throat. The noises that he’s making are magical. 

“Swallow.” You swallow whatever liquids you can. “Yes, fuck,” he groans, “again.” You swallow again, significantly less fluid in your mouth. “Again.” You swallow again. “God, your throat feels so good, I might not even need to fuck you.” You can’t help but to whimper, swallowing again around his cock. “Fuck, I could just cum down your throat right now and leave you on the bed for when Tadashi comes home. Maybe he can help you.”

You want to shake your head no. You want to beg for him to stay, to touch you, just to tell you to cum. If he just told you to cum right now, you think you could. You’d do anything for him right now, but you can’t. You can’t do anything except let him use your throat for whatever he wants to use it for. He laughs at the panic in your eyes as he pulls out of your throat, stroking his cock above you. “Or maybe I won’t even use you to cum, huh? Maybe I’ll just make you watch as I blow my load onto your pretty face. Tadashi would love coming home to that, wouldn’t he?” 

You don’t know how to answer that, so you don’t. Kei doesn’t like that. You feel a sting across your cheek, harder this time. “I asked you a question.”

“I- N- No. No, he wouldn’t like that,” you answer truthfully, even though you don’t think it’s the answer that Kei wanted. It’s exactly the answer Kei wanted.

“But would you like it?” he smirks, waiting for your answer. He hasn’t stopped stroking his cock, moaning as he swipes his thumb over the head. “Don’t lie to me…,” he pauses, “sweetheart.” His smile is pure evil.

You nod timidly before verbalizing it. “Yes. I would like that a lot, Kei.” 

He laughs again, shaking his head. “Tch. Pathetic.” Your entire body feels warm and embarrassed. He leans over you, getting so close to your ear that his low whisper sounds like a scream. “It sucks that I want to ruin you, then, huh?” A shiver disperses through your entire body as you shake your head no. No, it definitely doesn’t suck that he wants to ruin you. 

“I want you, now.” Kei finally decides. He pushes you back on the bed again. “On your side.” You’re conscious of how little you know about sex positions, particularly ones where you lay on your side. He pulls you to the edge of the bed, laying almost completely on your right side, save for the small parts of your back that are touching the bed. He positions himself between your legs, lining himself up with your throbbing pussy. It hasn’t been touched since you didn’t listen to Kei. You know your hole is tight, but so lubricated that it’ll swallow him just as easily as your throat did. He takes your leg and rests it on his shoulder. 

He rubs his head in between your lips, pressing up against the hole. “Please.” It slips out of your mouth, but you’re not going to apologize for it. Kei rubs his thumb against your clit, using your own wetness to lubricate your swollen nub, his finger moving effortlessly against it. You can’t stop whimpering. 

He doesn’t stop to ask if you’re ready, or prep your hole with fingers, he just starts sliding into you. He’s not even halfway inside of you when you decide that you’ll never be this full again. It takes your breath away. You can’t breathe, but you’re trying. You’re gasping for air as he inserts his entire length into you. “Kei, Kei, Kei, fuck, Kei.”

“I haven’t even started fucking you, sweetheart.” He presses a kiss into your leg next to his face as he slides completely into you, not stopping until his hips are pressed up against you. You’re waiting for him to let you adjust to how thick he is inside of you, but he doesn’t. He starts moving almost instantly, rocking his hips backwards and then thrusting into you completely. You’ve never had anything so deep inside of you before, not even your own fingers or a dildo. 

Kei picks up the speed, rocking his hips into you repetitively, in such a rhythmic pattern that you’re already almost there. You know, and he does too, that all he has to do is angle just a bit down and he would be obliterating your g-spot. Even without it, you can feel your arousal heightening so high. His thumb is still rubbing circles into your clit. “Kei- Kei, I think, I-,” you breathe, stuttering over your words, so filled with cock and pleasure that your head is foggy. 

“Already? You’re already going to cum? God, you really are starved of some good cock, aren’t you?” he teases, picking up speed even more. “I’m not even hitting your g-spot. I’m not ready yet. You’re going to cum without me even trying?”

You know you should feel embarrassed, but you’re not. You have no shame in letting yourself go. “Fuck, Kei, I’m coming, fuck.”

Your eyes squeeze shut. Your head presses back so far into the bed that you know how messy your hair is going to be. Your toes curls and your knuckles are white against the sheets. The entire time, no noise comes out of you, despite your mouth being completely agape. The pleasure is obliterating you. You can’t think of anything at all except for the pleasure. How good everything feels. Kei hasn’t stopped fucking you. He’s slamming into you as you ride your orgasm to completion. As soon as you’ve stopped cumming, you want to cum again. You need him to make it happen again. 

“I’m not stopping until I’m finished. If that means that you’ve cum so many times that your orgasms hurt by the last one, then so be it,” he thrusts into you again and again. His hand has moved from your clit and is instead wrapped around your leg, using it as leverage to fuck into you even harder. Every time you think he can’t fuck you harder, he proves you wrong. He’s almost growling at this point, fucking you so deep and hard that you exhale every time he pounds into you. 

“You’ll never cum from anyone else again,” he slams into you, “Every other guy that you ever take will never compare to me, will never be as good as me. Their cocks won’t fit inside you like mine does. They won’t fill you up as much as I can. I’m ruining you. I don’t even think you’ll be able to make yourself cum after this. Every time you want to feel pleasure, real pleasure, you’ll have to call and beg for it. When you’re in bed with Tadashi, so late at night, and he’s sleeping next to you, you’re going to have to call me and beg to meet up with me so that I can get you off.” His words are just making you get closer again. You know that he’s just talking dirty to you, but you know how much truth weighs in those words. He’s right. 

“You know that, don’t you?” he asks, breathless from how relentlessly he’s fucking into you. 

You nod at the sentence, still thinking repetitively over the words he said to you and how true each of them is. Kei reaches down to start rubbing your clit again. He can see you’re close. He can feel that you’re close. Your pussy is gripping his cock, the rigid, wet walls milking him as you have your second orgasm.

“Yes, yes, Kei, fuck. I’ll never feel this full ever again. Please, please, will you fill me after this time? Please, I can’t imagine never fucking you again. Please,” you moan through your orgasm. You want confirmation of something to look forward to. You need him again. 

He laughs at how unapologetic you are at begging for him again before he’s even finished with you. He doesn’t answer but instead asks a question. “Tadashi fucks you doggy style, sometimes, doesn’t he?” He fucks you through the end of your orgasm. 

You nod, hesitantly, still blown away by cumming twice already. “Sometimes,” you reply. Kei snickers. 

“On all fours,” he directs you. “I was serious when I said I wanted to ruin you, baby.”

You assume the position on all fours, a position that Tadashi will sometimes have you take him in. You’ve never understood the hype around this position, but you’re hoping Kei teaches you. A sting spreads from your ass as Kei spanks you. You’re already feeling the hype. You whimper. 

“Again?” he asks, smirking. You nod, wanting to feel the pain but knowing that he’s going to do it regardless. He spanks you again, harder this time. He doesn’t ask if you want it again, just spanks you for a third time, even harder. You won’t be able to sit tomorrow if he continues on. You kind of want him to continue on. You’re not met with another sting, but Kei’s cock thrust completely inside of you until his hips are pressed against your ass in one motion. You choke on your own breath, coughing in surprise. 

He brings his hands up and snakes one into your hair, grabbing a fistful, and the other on your shoulder, using it to pull you back onto him. You hear your skin slap against his, hard. You can feel the sting on your ass from where Kei spanked you as it smashes against his thigh. He’s so deep inside you, you think you can feel him in your stomach. 

Kei’s chest goes flush against your back. He whispers into your ear, “The next time he’s fucking you, you’re going to say my name.” It’s almost hypnotic, how low and intriguing his voice is. “You won’t be able to get me out of your mind,” he tells you, each thrust into you punctuating his words. He straightens back up, gripping your hips as he fucks into you. His fingertips are going to leave bruises. “Do you know why?”

You shake your head no. You want him to tell you why. You want him to say anything to you, anything at all. 

“Because you’re my bitch,” he says so seriously, moving quicker as your wetness grew, slicking him even more at the sentence, “and Tadashi has never hit this…” Kei thrusts, angled into your g-spot. The sensation makes it feel like lava has erupted in your stomach. “and it’s all you’re going to think about when you’re in this position.” He knows exactly where it is and he won’t stop smashing the head of his cock into it repetitively. “How this is what it could’ve felt like, but he’ll never make you feel like this. So you’ll be thinking of me the entire time and you’re going to say my fucking name.”

It’s too much. Everything about this situation is too much. You’re speechless. You’re aware of every part of your body that Kei has gripped onto or smacked. Your eyes roll back into your head. You don’t even know what’s happening, only that Kei’s cock feels so good against your walls and slamming into your g-spot. You feel a warm sensation run down your legs slowly at first, but then explode onto the sheets beneath you and Kei’s cock and his lap as you scream for him. “Kei! Fuck! Yes, Kei. I won’t ever think of anyone else. Only you. Only you, Kei, fuck. Oh fuck.”

“Fuck, you just squirted all over my fucking cock, fuck.” For the first time tonight, Kei sounds like he can barely speak. He can’t think of a witty retort about how good he made you feel, he can only keep repeating those words. “Fuck, you squirted so fucking much all over me, baby. Fuck, good girl. Fuck.” He pulls himself out of you. If it weren’t for the mind-blowing orgasm you just had that you need a minute to recover from, you would’ve whined endlessly until he was back inside of you. Kei looks so focused right now and you’re realizing that his hand is on his cock, wrapped around right where his head meets his shaft, squeezing, not stroking. His chest is heaving and he’s swallowing excessively. He had to stop himself from cumming too early. (Define too early?) He’s made you cum 3 times already, feeling your pussy tighten around him as he didn’t even stutter, and has fucked you for over an hour, not even mentioning the abuse your throat went through.

You think he’s waiting for the sensation to pass before entering back inside you, but he drops to his knees, pulling your hips towards him. “You’ve earned this, sweetheart,” he murmurs into your skin. You feel his nose press up against your ass, his tongue sticking out and licking from your clit to your hole. He doesn’t use the tip like Tadashi does, he uses the flat side of his tongue, exploiting every part of the surface of his tongue. Your arms shake as he sticks his tongue into your hole, fucking it, moving his face back and forth. “Fuck, Kei.” 

He moves back down to your clit, flicking it with the tip this time, fast, before sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over it again and again as he suctions onto it. “Holy fuck. Oh my God.” Your face is down in the bed, your arms refusing to support you anymore. The sounds that are coming from behind you are almost enough to make you cum on their own. Kei is slurping all of the juices that he’s created since he first started touching you.  You can’t see him, but the sounds are incredible. You can’t see him. 

“Kei, Kei, can I lay on my back? Can I see your face? I want to see your face.” You know you’re not in any position to ask him for anything, but you hope he listens to you. You want to watch him eat you out so badly. He hums into your pussy, nodding as he flips you over, spreading your legs even further. He looks up at you, his mouth completely clamped over your entire pussy, his tongue working particularly hard, creating an insane amount of pressure on your clit, swirling around it, in between your lips and slit, fucking into your hole as deep as he can. His eyes never leave yours. You try to keep up with him, but it’s too fucking much. Your head falls backward, staring up at the ceiling. Kei’s arms reach up, grabbing onto your tits, rolling both of your nipples between his long fingers.

“Look at me,” he mumbles into your pussy quickly before continuing his expertise. You listen to him. It’s the least you can do. You look at him, your eyes watering at the pleasure that he’s creating for you. It sounds so messy, so sloppy, so fucking good . 

“Don’t- Don’t stop. ‘M gonna-,” you moan so loudly that it scares you as Kei works even harder, sucking your clit into his mouth and nibbling it softly before using his entire mouth, his lips, his nose, his chin to rub against your pussy, spitting on it repeatedly to slick it up. “Fuck!” you’re screaming now and you can’t help the sensation release from you again, the clear liquid spraying from between your legs onto Kei’s face. You can’t even feel apologetic, but you don’t think he wants you to. He doesn’t stop rubbing your clit through your orgasm, you clench your thighs together, completely overstimulated, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps rubbing your clit through the pain and into another wave of pleasure that quickly crashes into another orgasm. You’ve never come that quickly together before. There’s no squirt this time, only insane pleasure washing over you as you pant and scream Kei’s name. 

You’re out of breath. You can barely move. You’re so tired from all of the times that you’ve come, but you know how hard Kei is and you know how badly you want his fucking cum. 

“I want to be all the way inside of you,” Kei states. You’re confused and he can see the confusion on your face as he cleans his glasses with the blankets on the bed. 

“How? I mean, like, weren’t you… already all the way inside me?” you ask him, innocently.

“Deeper,” he says, laying down on the bed next to you and flipping you on top of him so your soaked pussy lips are wrapped around his length. He grunts at the feeling. You lift off of him as much as you can muster with how weak you’re feeling right now. He helps you, grabbing onto your ass and lifting gently until you’re up high enough for him to line himself up with your hole. 

“Sit,” he commands. You listen to him for the millionth time tonight, lowering yourself onto his cock. His cock hasn’t grown since he fucked you doggy style, but it feels so much bigger. It’s so much deeper inside of you as you’re seated on his cock. Your walls grip him on the way down.

“Fuck, you’re tight. How does Tadashi last so long in you?” he asks, genuinely wanting to know. 

You laugh for the first time all night, “He doesn’t.”

He holds onto your hips, looking up at you and how breathtaking you are. Your tits are out, moving with every breath that you take. It makes Kei’s cock twitch inside of you. “Bounce on my cock, baby.” He’s asking so much of you with the state that you’re in right now, but he knows you’ll listen to him. “Be a good girl. Bounce on my cock. I’ve done all the work tonight, sweetheart.” That’s all it takes. You get a sudden surge of energy as you nod, using your knees in the bed as springs to slide up and down his cock. 

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. His fingernails dig into you again, bruising the already bruised skin. How are you going to explain all of these marks to Tadashi? You don’t even care at this point. You want Kei to keep making more. He’s guiding you up and down, though you’re doing most of the work. “Faster, baby, fuck.”

You listen. You bounce up and down on his cock faster, getting higher before slamming down against his lip. Your tits are bouncing just as wildly. He moves his hands from his hips to your tits, grabbing onto them and massaging them as you milk his cock. You purposefully tighten around him on the way up and relax on the way down. Your tight pussy desperately gripping at each inch of his length, coaxing the cum out of his cock. “God, fuck. Milk my cock, baby, yes.” Kei’s lines are becoming less demanding and more appreciative. They’re still commanding, but less harsh. He moves his hands back to your waist, lifting you almost completely off his cock, your head only tightly squeezing his head. 

“Ready?” he asks. The bliss on his face is still there, but there’s so much devilish intent now too. You don’t have time to ask questions or to even tell him yes as he fucks up into you. His hips are moving so quickly up that even though your body isn’t moving, the ripples of energy are tearing through you, shaking them violently. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, Kei.” You’re already there. You’re already ready to cum just from penetration alone. 

“Not yet.” This is the hardest demand yet for you to listen to. “You can only cum when you feel my load fill you up.” You swallow hard, but nod frantically. 

He’s grunting so loudly as he claps into your pussy from underneath you. He’s getting so deep inside of you with every thrust. You’re speechless. You’re so on the edge the entire time that he’s fucking you like this that you can’t focus on anything else. He pulls you down completely on his cock and stops thrusting for a second. He’s breathing heavy as he snakes his arm around your waist, pulling you onto his chest, his cock still just as deep inside of you, but this time when he fucks into you, he hits you g-spot on the first thrust. “Kei, Kei, Kei,” you can’t stop saying his name, “I can’t- I can’t hold it.” You barely even notice the tears running down your cheeks as the pleasure is so built up inside of you. 

“Fuck, baby, fuck, almost.” His thrusts are getting sloppy, his cock is pulsating, you feel so fucking good wrapped so tightly around his cock, but he needs to feel you cum. He needs to feel your pussy tense up as he drills into you, knowing that he’s the reason you look so pretty, your face contorting from pure pleasure. He wants to feel you milk him, coaxing his big fucking load out of his balls and deep inside you. He can make you cum. He doesn’t have to ask you. He can just make you cum, even despite you trying to be such a good girl and listen for him. 

He holds your hips steady, slowing down for a few seconds, catching his own breath, letting himself relax. You’re both grateful and so sad about this. You’re grateful because you would have cum just then, but you’re sad because you wanted to cum so bad it hurt. He stills for a second and then he’s fucking into you again, but differently this time. His arms are shaking from holding you down against him so tightly, not letting you move, despite your numerous attempts to squirm, as he thrusts up into your tight, aching pussy mercilessly. You’re sobbing into his shoulder.

“I- I- I can’t hold it, Kei, please.” You’re trying to be so good for him. It’s making his balls tighten, but he doesn’t want to come yet. He can’t come until you milk it out of him. Do it. Cum, he thinks as he picks up speed, like sprinting the last half mile of a marathon. It’s as much as he can give and he wants it to be enough to push you over the edge without having to ask. You’ll feel so much better tightening around him while you apologize to him for not listening. 

“I’m going to cum, Kei, please, please, please, I’m sorry, fuck. I can’t hold it any longer,” the string of words come out so fast that they practically overlap each other. You cum around his cock, your pussy throbbing, gripping so tightly onto his cock as he keeps up the intensity of his thrusts. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you scream out. You start repeating his name over and over again, unable to think of anything else in the world. 

With your pussy clamping so hard down on his cock, it’s exactly what he needs. He feels his balls tighten, his cock throbbing inside of you as his hips start to stutter messily. “Fuck, sweetheart, fuck, you’re making me cum, fuck,” he grunts, snapping his hips into you as hard as he can as he unloads inside of you, strings of cum filling up your insides, squeezing out of your pussy as he tries to fuck them deeper into you, but has already overfilled your abused pussy. He’s still cumming, feeling it leak out of his cock, when he pulls his cock from your pussy, letting it land on your ass and back down on his own cock. He slides his cock back into your pussy, going as deep as he can as before exhaling a final breath. 

You’re both quiet for a second, not talking about anything that just happened, just breathing. You’re still pressed up against his chest, cum dripping out of your pussy and onto Kei. You know that you should both clean up, but you’ve never been this tired in your life. You can’t even roll off of him and you don’t think he could push you off. 

“When will Tadashi be home?” he asks, panting, trying to regain himself. 

“He doesn’t get back until tomorrow morning,” you hum happily, listening to his accelerated heartbeat. You don’t move, but he doesn’t ask you to move. Your breathing is more irregular than his is as you close your eyes. “Can we nap? I need to nap. That took so much out of me.”

Kei’s quiet for a moment. There’s no laugh or retort, he just nods, wrapping his arms around your waist and stroking your hair. He grabs the cleanest blanket that he can from where he’s pinned to the bed, draping it over top of both of you. You hum at the warmth. He knows that this is a part of the whole degradation thing, the comforting at the end. That’s why he’s doing it.

“Goodnight, Kei,” you smile up at him lazily, kissing his chest before laying it back down. “Oh, wait, Kei,” you look back up at him. 

“Hm?”

That’s why he’s doing it. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him, blinking slowly. You’re so tired that you don’t even notice his heart skip a beat as you thank him. 

Right?

[euphoricwritez]

★ Virgin ★

ethan landry

cw: FEM READER!!! major nsfw, blowjobs, protected p in v, slight bondage ig u could say, hair pulling, loud ethan, make outs, he really likes ur boobs, name calling (slut), overstimulation, riding, shit writing

you and ethan were laying down on his bed watching a movie. everything was normal and quiet, but you decided to finally shoot your shot. "hey ethan," you started, "can i ask you something?" he looked at you, " yeah of course," "it's a bit weird," "just ask me" "have you ever had sex?" you don't know where you got so bold from, maybe it was the fact it was 3 am, no one acts sane at this time. he choked on his own spit, sending him into a coughing fit. "why- why do you ask?" "because i want to have sex with you," you both roughly started kissing, the feeling of relief, and need. you grabbing at his hair and him at your waist. you pulled at his hair, something you both fantasized about for months. he let out the cutest whimpers that made you feel so wet. the way he was desperately feeling up your sides made you feel so horny. you pulled back from the kiss and took his hands and placed them on the hem of your shirt. "go on baby, take it off for me will ya?" he suddenly felt any bit of boldness go away. it was one thing to run his hands down your sides and what not, but he has never done anything like this before, especially not with the person he's loved forever. "don't be shy" whispering in his ear. he slowly lifted his hands, with your shirt riding up until it was discarded somewhere else. "give me your hands, love," you took his hands into yours once again and placed them onto your chest, slowly moving them down onto your tits. he looked at you like he wanted to say something but he couldn't find the right words to say. his hands slowly reaching to the back of your bra, unclipping it and letting it fall. you pulled him back into the kiss, his hands messing with your boobs. his body was on fire, he didn't think this would happen, ever, especially not with you. your tongue reached into his mouth, his beautiful whines keeping you going. you pulled back once again causing him to whimper. you suddenly went to kiss his neck, gentle and rough at the same time. in between kisses you said, "you know-" one kiss, "you never answered my question," you bit down on his neck, specifically on his adams apple, sure to leave a mark. he quietly moaned and you reached down to his bulge, slowly palming him. "are you a virgin or not?" you whispered. through moans and gasps he was able to respond with a quiet "yes." you kept on giving him marks all over his neck, not caring for the next day. "p-please, it- it hurts." "don't worry baby, i'll take care of you." you motioned for him to sit at the edge of the bed, although the was confused he obeyed. when you dropped to your knees, you unzipped his jeans and teased him through his underwear. "i know baby," you rubbed his thigh softly, your other hand slowly creeping up to the waistband of his underwear, slowly pulling them off. you looked up at him and saw him already staring, he felt as if he had fever. you admired his beautiful cock, the pretty red tip that leaked out precum. you slowly snaked your hand around the base, lazily pumping it. he covered his mouth to try to fight back his loud moans. "no, let me hear you. i want to hear how good i make you feel," you sped up your ministrations as you held the hand he was using to cover his mouth. after working him for a bit, you finally put him in your mouth. as soon as you did, he let out a choked mixture of a moan and a whine. he was spouting out gibberish at this point, but you were no where near done. you sucked on his tip, letting your tongue lick the slit. he tasted so good it was unbelievably. you hungrily took in the rest of his cock, causing his whole body to shake. his hands were clutching the bed sheets. "ohmygodohmygod please!" he moaned out. you took him out of your mouth to ask "please what?" his embarrassed face could only whisper out "fuck me, please..." that was so fucking hot you couldn't hold yourself back anymore. you pushed him back on the bed and you got up from your knees, quickly getting rid of the rest of your clothes. "you don't know how long i've been thinking about this, ethan," you whispered and

he covered his face in embarrassment. you sat on his thighs, starting to tell him about all the times you got off to the thought of him. you slowly lifted yourself up and hovered over his cock. he was staring daggers into you, his face contorted into a face with need. you looked at him as if asking him if he was ready. "please..." he said again, his voice exasperated. you reached for the condom you kept in your bag just in case this ever happened and put it on him. as soon as it was on, he watched as his cock slowly disappeared into your pussy. he moaned not only at the feeling of you, but the view of you. you slowly started bouncing and he couldn't hold back his moaning, his hands reaching for your tits again. you grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his hand and he whined. "i know you're desperate but you don't have to be such a slut ethan..." increasing your pace. he felt his stomach do flips at the name. you felt his cock twitch inside you. "aw did you like that name? are you a slut for me?" "yes! p- please i'm gonna cum!" with one last bounce, he came with a loud moan of your name. once you got off of him, he pulled you down next to him. you gave him a small kiss. he seemed exhausted but before he fell asleep he said, "thanks for taking my virginity..."

EW THIS SUCKS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Imagines

agape | sjy.

pairings: sim jaeyun x reader

synopsis: his pretty wings in exchange of the ability to walk over this sinful land. his immortality in exchange of a life where he can be with you. his loyalty in exchange to own and have you for himself. all of these, jake was willing to do. he’s a servant of God who turned into a sinner and you are his sin he happily committed.

word count: 12k

warnings: suic*de, suggestive themes (a little), angels/heaven vaguely mentioned, not proof read, wrong grammar (be nice).

special note: i just want to put disclaimer that this fic have no intention to disrespect any religion and so is God or anything heaven related. not everything written here are legit and purely from my imagination.

note: okay, first of all, i’m not so sure how i did with this fic. at first i thought i will put yandere theme here, but ends up going somewhere else. i hope you will like this because i did enjoyed writing this. let me know what you think about this fic through my asks. send asks please, it does help me a lot. thank you. ily and keep safe.

fic moodboard › here

© eeunoia 2023 — all rights reserved.

Angels are known for their obedience, loyalty and beautiful appearance. With pretty wings and calm composure, they are often labelled only with good words. They have said to be the ones sent down to earth for various missions. They patrol the areas to deter crime.

Sometimes, they are tasked to guide someone back to heaven. Sometimes they are asked to do something else. But one of the main jobs an archangel can have is to look over a person and serve as their guardian angel. It said to be a very hard task, the hardest out of all. The angels sent for this mission are meticulously and strictly picked.

“They’re sending you then?” one of the angels asked the smiling boy. His eyes sparkles innocently together with his big beautiful wings.

Jaeyun stands out a lot from the other angels, not only because of his big pretty wings that are very unique, but also because of his ethereal visuals that made him even more distinct. Some says he was meant for this, that being an angel fits him like a puzzle piece. None can go against that thought as the said angel sure really look heavenly. With his blonde hair, sparkling eyes, pointy nose and plump red lips. He’s breathtaking.

“Yes. The higher rank archangel called me a while ago and gave me the name of the person I will soon look after to.” the boy’s fist balled in excitement. He looked giddy, hyper to the extent that he couldn’t keep himself from moving.

The angels around him showed an amused and curious expression. “That’s great! Is it a girl or a boy?”

He smiles, “A girl.”

They nodded their heads, “What’s her name?”

“Y/n.”

Saying that he’s excited was an understatement. His hands continuously fidgets, his lips caught in between his teeth and feet thumps in a distinct beat. The older angel turns his head and a smile breaks to his face at the younger one.

“You look so excited.”

“I am Sir!” and he even made a small dances.

He chuckles and guided him towards somewhere. His eyes grew a little big in amusement and his lips parted a bit. He heard about this part of their kingdom multiple times, how amazing and ethereal it was. But Jaeyun was beyond amused. It was nothing you can put into words to properly give justice to this magical place.

One by one, the upper angel tries to fill information to young, freshman, Jaeyun. He’s so adorably looking around, curious of every bits of his surroundings. How can he not be excited? He’s been waiting for this major role he finally gained himself for and now that he’s here he’s exhilirated. He promised he will do his best to serve only for the greater good.

“You will be looking after Y/n. She’s about your age.” he starts and shows him this beautiful girl that is currently studying inside a place he assumes to be her room.

Jaeyun was speechless that moment. His wide smile faltered for a bit, his throat felt dry, his chest tightens for an unknown reason and he just stared at the girl. Suddenly he felt like his heart are frantically beating. It was already like that moments before because of excitement, but now he feels like there’s just so much more.

The upper angel notices his behavior and didn’t take it as something serious. It wasn’t that unusual as it happens before whenever one gets to meet their first human to look after to. Angels naturally have this personality to adore and see humans as precious creatures. They just love them to bits and enjoys being around them.

Realizing that the younger one still couldn’t find the words to say, he decided to talk.

“Her previous guardian angel was tasked something different so we needed a new angel to guide her.”

Jaeyun finally snaps out of his trance and nodded. His eyes sparkles before he glanced back at you, looking distress while holding a thing that comes in a shape of a rectangle. You don’t look fascinated at what you’re looking at and rather frustrated painted over your face.

He was instructed that he will be sent to you right away. He doesn’t need to be hold back or stay for some kind of orientation about it. He was basically trained for this. He’s beeb preparing for this for as long as he can remember. Its one of the reason why they exist.

After giving some few reminders, he was guided towards somewhere. Jaeyun couldn’t hold his excitement to himself, lips stretched from side to side of his face, eyes so bright you can see from a distant how happy he is, and he cannot help to hop as he walks. Its the best day for him.

‘Jaeyun,’ a soft, almost impossible to hear sound of a voice calling his name made him halt from his steps.

He craned his neck to the sides, hoping to see someone calling out for him. The upper angel was already steps ahead of him, unaware of the interruption over to the younger one. Jake continues to turn his head, until he saw this gate. It was huge that even when you look up to try and see its end, it wasn’t visible. Cotton like clouds surrounds the golden metals that serves as a boundary between Jaeyun and the place on the other side.

He furrow his brows and approached closer, trying to take a peak through those metal gates. From where he is, he can see a staircase. It looks so magical.

Jaeyun gulps as he felt his breath slowly being taken away, astonished by the scenery right in front of him. Unconsciously, his hand extends towards the gate and before his bare fingers touch the metal object, a hand cease him.

His head snaps over to the side and he saw the upper angel. Jaeyun blushes out of shame. He doesn’t look mad, but he’s looming of something as he stares at him.

“Jaeyun,” he calls out like as if he was almost too late.

“You shouldn’t go near this gate.” he added that fueled more to his humiliation.

He didn’t know why he got too distracted to this place and comes closer it. He nods his head, lowering it a bit as he retrieve his arm after he let go.

“I’m sorry. It was so beautiful and I got curious so I thought I can have a l-look.” he says.

The upper angel didn’t show any bad reaction, but instead he smiles and craned his neck to look over his shoulder. His stares remains for a while before he faced Jaeyun once again.

“This is the forbidden passage.” he announced that made the younger one astound and left speechless. The color on his face almost drained as his eyes darts at the gate behind the higher ranked angel.

“It is normal for it to look so alluring. Mainly why the ministers built this big gates to keep angels away from here.”

Jaeyun heard about this passage. It was too popular between the angels. Apparently, there are two passages that exists in this kingdom. One, is the one called the ‘passage through life’ where angels use to go down the earth. The other one, is the one a few steps away from where Jaeyun is standing. The ‘forbidden passage’.

Nobody really knew what its like to be inside over this gate, or at least nobody made it back up here to tell what its like. They said that once you enter this gate and walk to the stairs of sufferings, there’s no going back. Its dead end for you.

“We should go.” and he guides him away from the forbidden passage.

Jaeyun gave a last glance to the gate before he lets himself be taken to the right passage he ought to be. Right in front, he can see angels lined up to go do their missions. Excitement once again crept over his chest and smiles starts to paint his face.

“Once you walk over there, you will know everything you need to know about your human.” the upper angel says smiling a little.

“Goodluck.”

Jaeyun nodded with a big smile before he lines along with the other angel. Anyone can tell from one look how excited and new Jaeyun is to his job. All of them can’t help but to spare him some glances, admiring his fascinating visuals that goes along well with his big pretty wings.

“All right, Jaeyun. We can do this.” he silently cheers himself and his eyes shuts adorably as he takes a step inside the passage.

There’s this tingling sensation over Jaeyun’s stomach and when he open his eyes, the first thing he notices is the familiarity of the room. Now, he’s so sure that he’s never been inside this space but it seems like he knew it like the back of his hand. Memories flood his mind, unfamiliar memories. It was obvious that it didn’t belong to him.

As he roam his eyes, he kept seeing vague images of a young girl. Seems like the memories belongs to her, to you, his human. The whole room are filled with memories that maybe she cherished for herself and now, Jaeyun’s there to keep them safe with him.

“Ugh,” a soft groan sends Jaeyun back to his senses.

When he look over his shoulder, he saw you. Sat in front of your desk, hands over your face looking in distress.

Jaeyun was stoned at his position. He doesn’t exactly know what to do at the moment. He’s basically here for you, but to see a human this close for the first time are fascinating and thrilling for the young angel.

He took courageous steps closer at the side of your table and tilts his head, trying to get a short glimpse of your face.

“Ah!” you slam your hands over the table making the angel jolt in surprise, his wings automatically covering him.

“I hate this subject.” you mumbled to yourself unaware of a beautiful pair of eyes watching you silently.

Jaeyun’s wings slowly retrieves. His eyes completely glued at your pretty face. He was lost of words and mind went blank. He felt like he was in clouds, utterly dazed at you. The young angel was unaware of the big smile spreading across his face as he stares even more.

He walks closer, leans his elbow at your table to stare at you carefully. You focused back on your homework and tries hard to understand whatever that is. As you busy yourself with your homework, Jaeyun was busy looking at you.

“Hello, y/n.” he whispers to himself as you aren’t capable of hearing his words.

He giggles while watching you scratch your head using the end of your pen, looking confused.

Seconds, minutes and hours passed by, Jaeyun didn’t get tired of watching you. He walks closer to check what stressing you out. He has no clue about any of it, but nods his head with a slightly furrowed brows. The angel adorably mirrors your emotions and giggles whenever you do cute facial expressions out of distress.

When the clock strikes twelve, Jaeyun notices how your eyes closes from time to time, yawning every five minutes and head bopping as sleep slowly pulls you. He instantly got worried of you hitting the table so he grabs a pillow, making sure none of it will be noticed by you. The sleep basically robbed your complete awareness of the things happening inside your room.

Just in time, Jaeyun slides the pillow before your head falls. He smiles and leans his back at your wall, crossing his arms. A look of satisfaction shows over his face.

Angels can manipulate and hold material things as long as no human will see it. They can’t physically touch them because angels don’t have that ability. They are also forbidden to use these abilities to their desire. Angels helps to guide people and not decide for them. In the end, humans will make the decisions.

“Sleepwell, princess.” he whispers and closes the light of your room so you can sleep more comfortably.

Jaeyun spreads his pretty wings and jumps out from your window. His smiles bigger and brighter than usual. The angel was unaware of what’s ahead of him.

It started innocent and pure. Jaeyun’s great with his job, he guides you and helps you as much as he can. His knowledge over this world grew along with his fondness over you. You got into Jaeyun’s system so much to the point that the angel couldn’t stop talking about you.

They understand it. This is his first mission, his first human. Of course, he will be fascinated. Even angels can be so amused in all of their first times.

They shrug it off and just deals with his nonstop talks about you.

Now, nobody really can blame him. You are a wonderful person, such a great girl. Beautiful, kind, smart and all other good things. People can easily label you as someone that they can look up to. Full of dreams and inspiration. You are the type of girl who will spend your free time in volunteering. Feed stray kittens, help a granny crossing the street, all good stuff.

If Jaeyun discovers good things in this world, he also learned about how people become sinners overtime. How cruel other people can be, being selfish and crimes left and right. He understands why angels are busy these days.

It doesn’t bother him too much, all he focus about was you. He cares about you too much.

The very first time he experienced total excitement for you was his first christmas. You squeal as your parents hands you a box. Jaeyun stood close to you, having his heart leaping around in anticipation.

“They got us a...” his words stall as he stretch his neck to peak through the box. You tear its wrap and even before fully removing it, you screamed and ran towards your parents.

“...what is that, princess?” he whispers and trudge towards you to check the box.

“Thank you for getting me my dream phone!” you exclaimed that send Jaeyun in cofusion.

“A phone?” he pouts and saw you unboxing the said gadget. He snorts and sat beside you, watching you enjoy your gift.

“Why did Mom and Dad got us phone?” he mumbles and rest his head at the back of his palm. “What happen on gifting us books to read?” he added, trying to recall how you’re so happy on your birthday.

Regardless, he smiles seeing how happy you looked for it. He sighs and clicked his tongue.

“As long as you’re happy.” he mumbles.

But its not always happy time. There are days that you feel sad. These are what Jaeyun hates the most. Seeing your pretty eyes water in tears, nose turning slightly red because of crying.

“Baby,” he whispers and squat beside you, wings hanging low.

Your cries breaks his heart. “Stop crying, please.” he tries to console you even if there’s no way you can hear him.

It doesn’t matter, he still continues. Your dog just died and it made you so sad that you’re crying so much. Jaeyun couldn’t take it and his chest tightens at the sight. He wanted to do something, make you feel better but there’s just not much he can do. The extent of his powers have limits and this is the first time he wished he had more. That he can do more.

Contentment is one good characteristics one angel have, but Jaeyun’s thoughts aren’t mirroring it at one bit.

Time flew by too fast for Jaeyun. He didn’t even realized that its been years ever since he started to be your guardian angel. He doesn’t think his work as heavy, in fact Jaeyun loves his work. He doesn’t get tired over his routine. For him everyday with you is unique and special, he cherish all of them.

“I am happy to present this award to an honorable student,” the principal of your school smiles widely on stage.

“Y/n.” she continues and the crowd cheers after your name was mentioned.

You chuckled, standing up to go and get your award. Friends, admirers and other more cheers, supporting you. But out of all, your biggest supporter was stood by the stage, smile so wide, his golden blonde hair sure looks good on him, his lips caught up over his teeth as he clap his hands passionately. Even if he’s invisible to the naked human’s eyes, that didn’t stop Jaeyun from cheering.

His wings spreads so wide and he moves it just enough to blew some wind towards you, adding to your charisma while walking towards the stage. To say that Jaeyun is proud was an understatement, he was beyond that. For him, you are the best. You are the only one.

The young angel was so ignorant of the menacing feelings unfolding at a leisurely pace. He was unaware of the lingering emotions he’s slowly growing inside of him, bigger than his wings, deeper than his thoughts and stronger than his love to serve the almighty.

It started to awoke this feelings when you turned seventeen. Start of a new schoolyear, you are so excited for this because you finally moved in to a bigger campus.

Jaeyun whistles, both hands inside his pocket while he leans over the wall right outside the girl’s bathroom. He’s waiting patiently for you because you went inside to go your business.

“You’re y/n, right?” Jaeyun lifts his head and saw three girls approaching you.

He pushed himself off from the wall to walk closer, “Yes.” he heard you answer.

Jaeyun looked curious as he stand close behind you, listening along to what these girls wants from you. His wings automatically wrapped around you, trapping both of you inside it.

“I’m Jeena.” she smiles, but Jaeyun didn’t retrieve.

“We want to be friends with you.” the one on her left added after she introduced herself too.

You smiled and nodded at them. Jaeyun’s lips pursed into a pout and lean forward to check your expression. He glanced back at the three girls and vaguely squint his eyes like he’s watching them closely.

The next day, you looked excited while waiting by the school gate. Jaeyun beside you smiles, watching you happily. One girl notices you and asked you why you haven’t entered the school yet.

“I’m waiting for Jeena.” you answered.

Jaeyun’s brows furrowed and he snap his head over your way. “Jeena? From yesterday?” he asks and walks closer, his face inches away from you.

“Are they our new friends, princess?” Jaeyun asks again, watching your eyes.

“Y/n!” your head turns to your side and you waved happily.

When you approach Jeena, you walk through Jaeyun and he craned his neck to follow you with his head. He can’t explain how to feel when he saw how big your smiles and your giggles sounded so good to his ears. Even if he’s a little cautious about this, he couldn’t help but to smile too. He started walking, following behind you like a loyal dog.

Jaeyun didn’t know things will escalate pretty quickly after that. From having new friends, admirers started appearing as well causing his distress. The emotions that are blooming inside his chest are so foreign for him, so new that he don’t know how to react from it.

Even before he can stop himself, Jaeyun already stick his foot and tripped the young boy. He fell face first in front of the other students on the hallway. You gasped, surprised at what just happened. Giggles, teasings and worried remarks errupted around. Jaeyun stood at his ground, face placid as he stare at the guy trying to get back from his feet.

Jaeyun was called to report right away. Of course the minister of upper angels cannot let what he just did to slide. He just flout their rules and it needs to be addressed.

He bows, avoiding to look at him straight to the eyes. He is guilty, but what fascinates him is that he didn’t regret doing it.

“I’m pretty sure you know why we ask you here, right?”

He lifts his head and nods. “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t know what got into me. It just happened.”

The upper angel didn’t respond right away. He pursed his lips. “Jealousy.”

Jaeyun was left speechless. He doesn’t know what to say or if he needs to say anything. This emotions is not new for him. He heard it before, but he knew angels shouldn't be feeling this.

“Maybe you’re starting to get too attached to your human. It is somehow given as you two basically spend everyday together.” his eyes reflects how confused and worried Jaeyun is.

“But you need to remember that you have to let her go. You are there only to guide them and not meddle with their life.” the upper angel added that left Jaeyun with no choice but to nod his head.

The younger angel was feeling a lot of emotions, chest tightening trying to hold on all of them. He felt sad, ashamed, regretful and some he cannot utterly distinguish. Jaeyun kept his head low in agony. He never felt this way before, its so hefty.

“You must’ve find it hard to deal with it. This is the first time you encounter this emotion anyway. Jealousy is a strong one too.” he claps his hand over his shoulder to send some solace to him.

“But you know what’s stronger?”

Jaeyun lifts his head, he raised both of his brows in anticipation of what’s the older is about to say. His hand kept his hand to his shoulder so he won’t move away.

“Love.” he smiles softly.

The younger was at dazed, trying to process what he just said.

“Don’t be too affected about this small mistakes. Take it as a step to make yourself better.”

Jaeyun stares right through his eyes and nodded his head. Before long he was given a warning for the disagreeable behavior he showed. He didn't complained and accepted it wholeheartedly with awareness of his own actions.

Eventually, he was back to you. Somehow, his sadness subsided at the sight of your peaceful face while sleeping. He smiles and carefully approaches closer. He sighs and stretched his arm to gently caress your face using his hand.

“I’m sorry, princess.” he whispers and turned off your lamp then pulled the blanket to cover you properly.

Jaeyun tries not to do the same mistakes. He smiles whenever you’re happy, pout whenever you’re sad and still help you with small things. He make sure that all he’s doing is not disobeying any of their rules. To prevent himself from getting into more trouble and to serve his main purpose here.

“I like you, Nicholas.”

One afternoon, at the back building, while everyone else aren’t around, you quietly asked him to meet you right here then nervously confessed to the boy right in front of you.

You are unsure if this is the right thing to do or if he will respond the way you wanted him to, but that’s the least you care. It is normal for teens to experience these emotions. They said it’s even a wonderful phase of life where young love may bloom.

Jaeyun’s gaze turns away from where you are. He once again got occupied by this unpleasant emotion he once experience not too long ago. He still didn’t know how to react, but he is certain he ought to stand right there and do nothing.

The boy’s face remains placid as he stares at you without saying anything. Nicholas is pretty much one of the popular boys not only in your class, but also around the whole campus. He’s part of the soccer team, smart, from a good family, well reserved man and he’s very good looking.

You aren’t so bad yourself. A lot of guys admires you too. It isn’t easy to please that’s why not all are privileged enough to gain some of your attention.

Nicholas does, tho. There’s just something about his quiet demeanor that makes your stomach wrench. Some of your friends says it happens when you like someone. This is the first time you’ve encountered it and he does make you blush whenever you two made eyecontact.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Jaeyun sighs, releasing some of the tension over him. He leans at the wall a little bit far from where the two of you, making sure he’s giving enough distance.

“I have nothing to say.” short and cold. You are surprised to his response. A slight sting bloom over your chest.

Unable to say anything while you contemplate whether you are hurt or humiliated, Jaeyun took steps towards you and protectively cover you with his wings like usual. His dagger like eyes stared right to Nicholas while he stand behind you.

For some reason, you felt warm a some part were lifted, making you feel more at ease. You nodded your head after letting out a sigh.

“A-All right. Sorry for wasting your time.” and you didn’t wait anymore. You turned your heels and left him standing alone.

Embarrassed about it, you silently pray that Nicholas won’t say a word about it to any of your friends. The two of you are at the same circle, mainly why you grew a crush on him. Your group spend a lot of time together these days.

Jaeyun was furious at how obnoxious Nicholas was at you, but he felt relieved that you’re not having boyfriends yet. You on the other hand, felt even more motivated to pursue Nicholas. You aren’t used of losing.

“It’s okay, princess.” he saw you stood right by the corridor, spacing out. He smiles a little and even pat your head.

“You will find someone worthy.”

Jealousy isn’t the only one that Jaeyun will discover. He was stoned at his position one night, heart thumping so loud, cheeks burning and beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

He doesn’t know where exactly to look, his head panning left and right totally unease. He gulped feeling slightly shorten of breath.

Your moans once again errupts around your silent room. It sounded too lewd for Jaeyun to ignore so easily. Seems like not only him discovers things as you are now learned to pleasure yourself alone.

Another soft whimpers echoes through his ears and mind that agitates something bad for him. He gulpes and forcefully turns around in attempt to leave you for tonight. He may have gone away, but the sound and memories of you that night was vividly kept inside Jaeyun’s mind, causing something corrupt to linger in him.

“Come on! I’m sure you know more about the forbidden passage.” Jaeyun’s restless. He’s now with some of the angels, lined up for their daily report.

The other one sighed, finding it amusing how he’s extra curious about that. Jaeyun’s always hyper, but he’s never someone to be like this.

“Fine.” he surrenders and Jaeyun cheers as they both hurry to report then met to spend some free time together.

“Why are you so curious about it anyway?”

Jaeyun tries not to act suspicious about it and just shrugges his shoulder off. “I’m just curious about it.”

“They said the forbidden passage was opened by the first fallen angel. He was known in the kingdom even before the incident because of his heavenly face. His wings were also big and very beautiful, it said it was one of a kind none surpassed it until now. He was an epitome of beauty.” he starts and unknowingly eyes Jaeyun’s big pretty wings behind him.

“He gravely fell in love with a human and exchanged his wings for mortality. Afterwards gave his soul as well to have all the good things that world can offer.”

Jaeyun’s lip gaped at what he’s hearing. Almost everything has tainted the angel’s rules and principles.

“But that’s not all.” he says and pursed his lips, hesitating to tell him what happens next.

“What?”

“They said that despite everything he sacrificed, the girl didn’t returned his feelings. It put him in so much agony and despair, he couldn’t accept it. So the fallen angel exchanged his heart for three unbounded wishes.”

Jaeyun’s breathing slows down at what he heard. He never knew angels can do that.

“Greed took upon him so with no hesitation, he offers his heart, ask for his first wish. And that is to live one last time on earth. You know that once heart was offered for something that doesn’t go along with the will of the almighty, you cannot come back here nor reincarnate. You are to live at the underworld to suffer forever.” the words sent chills over Jaeyun’s body.

The underworld are a place of the unfortunate and sinful. It said to be filled with anger, greed, lust, pain and all that cause suffering.

“What’s his second wish?”

“That the love of his life falls in love with him in the last time he will be alive.” his tone sounded like he felt sympathy for the fallen angel.

“And the third?” Jaeyun couldn’t help, but to ask more.

“It was unknown. Only he knows about it.”

Jaeyun was lost with his own thoughts. All these informations that coming to him are too much to process anything in mind.

“Are you all right, Jaeyun?” he sounded worried for him.

He was quick to pull a smile for him, hiding that something’s bothering him. Hiding that some dark ideas are slowly forming at the back of his mind.

“Yes, of course!”

He nodded, “Anyway, don’t think about the forbidden passage too much. It doesn’t just open to every angel.”

“What do you mean?” the crease over Jaeyun’s forehead deepens.

“Only one that has deep desire can only open the gates.”

He was left stoned at his position. Even after the angel bid goodbye, Jaeyun’s spacing out. He’s thinking about the fallen angel, what happened to him, the sacrifices he did. All of that went to nothing. Is it all worth it? His wings, soul and heart for a one lifetime with the love of his life?

Even if Jaeyun silently admits to himself that the idea of exchanging his wings to live on earth occured to him, he wasn’t that sure if he’s determined to do it. Afterall, it will cost him everything.

But he didn’t know that the answer he was waiting for will come running his way instantly.

It was a dreadful day for you. It was raining heavily, people around you are all wearing black and silently mourning along with you. Your mother died and you couldn’t be more broken.

It happened too fast that you can’t believe any of it. Multiple times you prayed that all of this was just a dream. How can your life turn upside down in a short span of time? This is truly unbelievable.

“M-Mom,” you cried once alone inside your bed. Your slumped on ground at the middle of your room.

“Mom!” you screamed in so much agony.

“Please don’t leave me.” you whispered as tears flows nonstop in sorrow. “I’m all alone now.” you added.

Jaeyun stood a few feet away from you, eyes filled with tears. He’s so hurt seeing you like this. How can the world be so unfair and cruel to someone so pure? It made him question a lot of things. While watching you cry to your limit, broke everything in him. He wanted to do more. He want to hug you, comfort you and tell you that you aren’t alone because he’s there. He will always be there for you.

Jaeyun trudges closer to you. He bent down, feeling every bits of him breaking apart before caging the two of you inside his wings as he cries and stays beside you. He shut his eyes close, fist balled, heart thumped faster. He then realized that he’s useless, he couldn’t even protect you like how he wanted to. Something deep, powerful emotion grew inside of him.

“I’ll be here for you, baby. Always.”

Jaeyun knew he needed to do something. He realized that he couldn’t protect you like this. That guiding you was not enough for him. He needed more. He wanted more.

After crying yourself to sleep, Jaeyun lifts you up and places you over the bed. His desire to be with you somehow dissipates the rules to not physically touch you. It was not allowed, but he could not care more.

He placed a chaste kiss on top of your head. “I’ll be back, princess.” he pulls away and smiles softly. “This time, I will protect you properly.” and he flew back with nothing but the desire of being with you.

Just a step closer to the gate and it opens right away. Jaeyun gulped and halted for a while, not because he's hesitating but because he needs to collect his thoughts. He promised himself that he won’t let greed take over the best of him. He won’t be like the first fallen angel.

He steps inside and the gate closes right away. Inside was a dreamy place, the perfect place to lure angels in. The staircase looked more enticing and at the end of it was a shrine.

“Welcome,” his head snaps over to the side when he heard somebody talked.

There, beside the stairs is a man wearing an all black suit. His hands inside the pockets. Surprisingly, he doesn’t look like how the humans expect fallen angels to look like. He looked ethereal, but there’s a different aura that he’s giving off.

“I’ve already seen you before, Jaeyun.” he says with a smile.

He didn't say anything and just stare at the man. He chuckled like as if Jaeyun did something funny.

“I’m Samael, btw. The gatekeeper for the forbidden passage.” he smirks.

“I want to exchange my wings and live on earth.” he says straight to the point.

The man’s mouth gaped and his eyes sparkles in amusement.

“Oh, someone arrogant. Its been a while since the last one like you.” he steps closer to Jaeyun. “He looked so heavenly too and his wings,” his hands extends near his wings and continues, “they’re pretty too just like yours.

He kept silent and just wait to what the man will say next.

“Let me guess?” he put his hand over his chin and acts as if he’s thinking about something.

“A girl?”

Jaeyun gulped and glanced away. It made the man bark a fit of laughter. Enjoying that he got it right. It isn’t the first time one angel came rushing in for love. Its actually the most common reason why they go here.

“Oh well,” he nods his head. “I won’t delay you anymore.”

He walks back in front of Jaeyun and extends his hand, soon a big knife appears over his hand.

“Are you sure about this? Once done, you cannot take it back.”

Your face flashes through his mind. “I’m sure.”

The man chuckles, amused. He nodded and plays with his knife. “Let me cut your wings.”

He steps closer and Jaeyun shut his eyes as the man cut off his wings. It was very painful, but he didn’t showed any regret. The feeling without his wings are very odd for him. A part of him shatters at the thought of not having them anymore, but the desire to be with you are stronger.

He threw Jaeyun’s wings beneath his feet and smiles evily. “You have to drag these wings up to the top.”

Jaeyun nods and started to climb up the stairs of suffering. It wasn’t easy. Each step he took, he feels like his wings gets more heavier. He was almost out of breath once he arrived by the shrine.

“Easy, right?!” he jolted when the man appeared right in front of him.

“I want to exchange my soul.”

He laughs, “You are really interesting aren’t you?” he crossed his arms. “You do know that your soul serves as your ticket back here.”

Jaeyun nodded. “I want to exchange it.”

“If you say so.” the man moves his hand and something came out from Jaeyun. He trapped it inside his palm with a big grin on his face like as if he just won something.

“Heart?”

Jaeyun shakes his head. It didn’t wipe out the smirk on the man’s face. He nodded again and tilt his head over to the entrance.

When he stood right in front of it, the man was a few feet away from him, watching.

“You remind me so much of him.” he suddenly said.

“Who?” Jaeyun asks, looking over to his shoulder.

“The first fallen angel.”

“I will try my best not to end up his way. I’m nothing like him.” Jaeyun argues.

The man smirks and tilt his head, “Are you now?”

Even before he can respond, something pulls him towards the entrance and he soon fell in a deep slumber. Jaeyun lost his wings and soul, but gained the ability to be with you.

The death of your mother caused a drastic change in you. Yes, you’re slowly coping up but the lost was just too much that you feel like you can never be the same again.

It’s not like you are really alone. You still have your dad. But he’s always too busy with work, unable to really give you the attention you need. The person who was there for you all the time was your Mom, and now that she’s gone, you are beyond heart broken.

Her sweet memories are what kept you going. The dreams you two built together is what pushing you to continue your life despite of a grave lost. You knew your mom will not be too happy to see you crying every night for her. So you try your best to live your life.

It was the second week of your new school year and its a normal day. You are about to rest your head to your table when Jeena came rushing inside your classroom. Her smile so big as she tries to hold her screams.

“What happened to you?”

She stops, catching her breath. “We have a transferee!” she cheers and even fan herself, acting so delirious.

You scoffed and roll your eyes before glancing away. As doing so, your gaze met Nicholas' eyes. He didn’t look away and you aren’t bothered to look away as well. If it wasn’t for your homeroom teacher arriving, the stares will remain.

“Okay, class. Kindly go to your respective seats.” all your head snaps in front and follows what your teacher said.

Jeena still seemed thrilled about it as she couldn’t stay still at her chair. She tugs your arm to pull and whisper something.

“I saw the new guy!” she giggled. “He’s so handsome!” it was impossible to hide the excitement through her tone.

You smirked at her, “Yeah?” no interest can be sensed from you. She pouts and rolls her eyes.

“Promise! I think I just fell in love.” her eyes almost form into these heart shapes that you find somehow hilarious.

Its not like this is the first time Jeena has a crush on someone. She's actually the type to like every good looking guy on your batch. Its also not the serious type, sometimes its just happy crush where she giggles while coming across the hallway.

You didn’t give much thought to it and didn’t realize that your teacher just asked the new comer inside. The class ware fascinated. You heard some of the girls gasps in utter shock, some were left totally speechless. The boys have more chill reactions compared to the girls, but you can see some amusement from them as well.

With full on curiosity, you glanced in front and your lips instantly gapped. Your heart thumped faster and everything seems to be in a slow motion. You can’t explain what you are feeling at the moment. He was dead gorgeous. Black hair that’s a bit longer than the usual hair of guys on your class, puppy-like eyes, pointed nose and plump sinful lips. The words aren’t even capable of describing him in total detail. He was like an angel sent from heaven.

His eyes scanned the whole room carefully and when it met yours, he stopped. Your breath hitched and your lungs feels like its being pressed out of air. His eyes looks so dreamy.

“He’s looking at me! Oh my gosh, y/n.” your head snaps to the side when Jeena spoke.

Suddenly, your blushing cheeks are not because of the guy’s pretty eyes but because you feel embarrassed for actually thinking he was looking at you. Yes, you may be pretty popular to your school but Jeena’s always ahead of you. So if there’s someone he’s eyeing, you bet its her.

You tried to shove off all these thoughts and just proceed on listening to your teacher’s short introduction for the transferee.

The thumping of your heart resumed the moment you met eyes, well you assumed, with the new guy. He’s still looking at your way when you glanced back. You cleared your throat and pursed your lips.

“I’m Jake Sim.” his short introduction made everyone more interested of him.

It’s a little odd for you, tho. His visuals are breathtaking and gives off sweet boy vibes, but his aura and the way he acts says otherwise. You couldn’t really tell how he really is. He’s hard to read.

“Now, his family just moved from Australia so please make sure to make Jake comfortable. Okay?” your teacher reminds and the whole class answered ‘yes’ in unison.

She asked him to sat a few seats away from you then she continues with her lecture. The girl classmates near him started to steal glances at him and even tries to crack a conversation. That made Jeena groan and roll her eyes in envious. Your eyes glanced away from the scene, focusing to the board in front trying to seal whatever that emotion is growing inside your chest.

You have no idea when did it start or how did it happen, but all of a sudden Jake Sim has been the talk of the whole campus. From being the random transferee from Australia to one of the campus crushes. He also started hanging out with your group of friends since most of your boy friends found him cool.

Jeena also seemed to like Jake very much. She’s always around him, vividly show signs that she’s interested and you’re actually surprised by her behavior. She’s never the type to be like this. This is the first time you saw her acting this way.

On the other hand, while everyone finds it easy and normal to interact with him, you don’t. There’s just something with him that makes your every nerves wreck. You cannot even keep your stares at him for a long time. You feel like your heart will burst out from your chest. He just makes you so nervous.

“I’m telling you dude, you’ll totally have fun!” you can hear Jay while you’re walking towards their table.

“Y/n is here!” Jeena shouts that made everyone to your table snap their heads to your direction.

You smiled and it faltered when you saw the one beside her. Jake Sim have his infamous smirk while staring at you, gaze aren’t leaving you even just for a second.

“Hey, Y/n. Practice done?” Heeseung asks and even pushed a chair so you can sit beside him. You smiled brightly and nod your head.

Nicholas is sitting on the other chair beside you and you can feel him staring at you. These days, you��ve noticed how he’s being more attentive of you. It suppose to make you excited about it as he is your crush for a year now, but suddenly he doesn’t seem that interesting anymore.

“You’re late.” he says and even slides a water towards you.

“They hold us for a bit because of club meeting.” you thanked him and get the glass to drink from it.

“OMG! Are you two finally dating?!”

Your eyes snapped towards Jeena when she suddenly screamed. Everyone then started teasing you and Nicholas that made you chuckle a little. Your eyes unconsciously darted over at the quiet boy beside her and your smile faltered.

Jake Sim’s eyes are blank and he looked annoyed for some reason. You have no idea as to why the said boy’s face reflects irritation, but you just chose to ignore it.

“Stop being nosy, Jeena.” Nicholas stated, but there’s a smile over his lips.

“Whatever!” she says and rolled her eyes before going back on talking to Jake.

Your eyes glanced away from the scene and thankfully Heeseung opens up a topic about one subject. The routine remains the same for you. School and friends are the ones that keeping you busy, keeping your mind off from your late mother.

As days passes by, you’ve noticed how Nicholas are starting to open up with you as well. Even if you’re a little confused why he’s suddenly giving you attention, you didn’t give much thought to it and just go with the flow.

But your mind are always occupied by Jake Sim. There’s just something that kept pulling you towards him. You both rarely interacts and most of it was done by him.

“One water and one banana milk, please.” he says one breaktime. Your head lifts when a hand’s giving you a drink out of nowhere.

With confused eyes you look at the person and it was him. “H-Huh?”

He smirks, eyes softening at your cute reaction. “Here,” he places the drink carefully to your hand. “That’s the last one. I know its your favorite.” he says and casually walked away.

You are stoned at your position after the interaction. A lot of questions formed inside your mind. Why did Jake Sim suddenly talked to you? Why did he gave you a drink acting so casual about it? And most of all, how did he know your favorite drink?

These interactions didn’t last there. You don’t know if he’s doing all of it because he wants to be friends with you or he have something else in mind. Not to be too assuming or full of yourself, but you rarely, if not never, seen him being too interactive to others. Usually he just nods, smirks and chuckles lightly with them. Never giving free drinks, carrying lunch trays, helping with school chores and other more.

“It’s still hot,” he stops you from sipping your soup. You blinked, a bit confused.

His eyes stares at you with the usual soft looks on them before he pull your bowl closer to him to cool your soup down. Blush came rushing through your cheeks while some of your friends were left in utter shock. They’ve been noticing this for a couple of weeks already. Nobody just dares to question it.

Jeena started to act cold around you as well. You’ve tried to ask her about it, but she just ignores you. It’s making you so sad. She’s been your friends for years already so you don’t like having misunderstandings with her.

You figured that maybe she’s avoiding you because of Jake, so you started to distance yourself from him. But Jake fucking Sim didn’t understand the assignment, because he makes sure damn well that he is doing things for you. That his presence around you is very well known.

“Let me pay for that.” yet again Jake Sim is here.

You’re at the cafeteria buying a drink for Jeena to try and fix things between the two of you and now the main reason (your guess) of Jeena’s cold treatment towards you is here.

Jake’s hand is stretched towards the lady by the counter and she was about to accept it but you beat her into it. You placed your cash on her palm and shoot glares to the boy next to you. He glanced at you with a furrow on his brows.

“What are you doing?” your tone sounds so accusing.

His eyebrow slightly raised, “Paying for you.”

“But you don’t have to do that!”

“I want to.”

You rolled your eyes and accepted the change from the lady before turning your heels, attempting go get away from him. Jake’s fast reflexes refused to let you leave as he hold you by your arm.

“What?”

“Where are you going?” he asks.

His stares made your stomach wrench and blush flushing your cheeks so you quickly glanced away.

“None of your business.” and you shove his hold off then run away.

Jake smirks, enjoying his effect on you. For him, he can settle with this kind of interaction for the mean time. He’s not rushing anything. What’s important is that he’s here for you everytime.

After taking off, you searched for Jeena to give her the drink you just bought. It wasn’t that hard to look for her since there’s just few places she likes to spend her free times. You smiled at the sight of her and quickly walked closer.

“Hey Jeena,” you started. She glanced at your way and the displease on her reaction made your heart crack a little. Her eyes stares at you blankly as she draws a sigh.

“What do you want?” she sound so uninterested.

“I just want to say sorry.” your lips pursed. “I don’t know what did I do wrong for you to—”

Jeena stood up and she looked extremely pissed. “You don’t know?” her sarcasm lingers over her tone.

She scoffed unamused, “I can’t believe that you’re this kind of person, Y/n.”

“W-What...”

“You know that I like him!” she took a step closer that made you step backward, starting to feel scared of her.

“You know very well I like Jake Sim and yet you seduced him!” her accusations sounded so unbelievable for you. You almost thought that she’s not serious about it, but nerves almost shows on her neck that indicates how mad she is.

“No, I didn’t.” you defended yourself.

“Liar!” she pushed you over your shoulder and you lost your balance.

“I trusted you! I thought you’re my friend!” she says with a tone of disappointment before she kicked the drink that lays a few feet away from you.

She marched away and you’re left in complete trance. The shock from what just happened just disabled you from moving. After finally snapping back to reality, you stood up and went to search again for Jeena.

As much as you feel hurt from what she accused you, you can’t just let her get mad with you. Jeena is your closest friend. She was somehow there for you from time to time. Losing somebody is the least you want to happen again to your life.

You’re about to walk over the corner when you heard a familiar voice talking.

“So that was it?” it was Nicholas.

Your steps halted and your brows furrowed, curious to who is he talking to. But these thoughts were blocked when you heard Jeena’s voice.

“What do you want, Nicholas?”

“You really like that jerk?” a hint of annoyance, disbelief and pain lurks over his tone.

Still confused about what’s goin on, you decided to listen for a bit more.

“And what if I do?”

“Is that why you broke up with me? Because of that asshole?”

Your lips gapped at what he said. This is not what you’re expecting to happen. Nicholas and Jeena? But she knew you like him. Even if you aren’t that passionate about it, you knew she knows you like him.

Jeena groaned, “Why is it such a big deal to you? You’re going for y/n anyway!” she screams and bitterness looms on her tone when she said your name.

Your heart ache after realizing what’s it about. Jeena and Nicholas was in a relationship secretly while you like him. The times when she’s teasing you with him flashes through your mind. While she’s doing that, she was in a relationship with him? You are lost of words.

“I’m only doing that to make you jealous!” Nicholas' voice raised. That was the first time you heard him raise his tone. He’s always the calm type.

Something pricked your heart after what he just said. You may not like Nicholas that way anymore, but to hear such betrayal sure hurt you a lot.

Even before you realize it, someone walks pass by you to go confront them. With wide eyes you followed Jake to try and stop him. It was too late because he already punched Nicholas.

“Jake!” you screamed.

“You fucking fuck!” he looked so mad. His intimidating aura shifts into something more scary.

Jeena looked surprised as well. Nicholas is down at the ground, unable to even fight back. You screams and approached closer to stop Jake before he broke Nicholas' nose. You saw that he throw punches over Jake as well, but he’s stronger than him.

“Jake! That’s enough!” Jeena screamed.

“Get off of me!” Nicholas.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Your eyes watered because of what’s happening at the moment. You can’t seem to think of anything else but to blame yourself for all of these. Jake even got involved because of you. A part of you felt bad for him.

“J-Jake...” you softly called him.

You aren’t sure if he even heard you, but he stopped so you assumed he did. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Your tear stained eyes broke him.

“P-Please, enough.” you added, unable to really talk loudly anymore. Everything is just too much.

He clenched his jaw and like an obedient puppy called by his owner, he stood up and walked towards you. He cupped your face and eyes softens as he scanned you carefully. Your heart aches again at the sight of his bruised face.

“Are you okay, baby?” he asks.

Your soft cries hurts Jake.

“I w-want to leave.” the main intention of why you say those words are unknown, but one thing’s for sure, Jake’s willing to do anything for you.

The following events are blur and the next thing you knew, you are inside the infirmary. Jake’s sitting in front of you, eyes completely fixed at your direction. He’s not saying anything at all so its starting to feel awkward.

Both of you snapped out of trance when the nurse walked closer holding a kit. “Let me put medicine to your bruises, Jake.” she says in her soft voice, matching it with her sweet smile.

Jake’s eyes lazily trailed towards her and the placid look on his face intimidates the nurse making her smile falter.

“Y/n can do that.” he shortly stated and glanced back at you. The sudden eye contact made you jolt and panic a bit, your head turns to the nurse. She’s looking at you with a confused and slight fear on her eyes.

A small smile is what you gave her before you gently reached for the kit then bowed to thank her. She was left with no choice but to leave the two of you alone. Jake seemed pleased after that as his face softens and relaxes while watching you prepare the ointments for his bruise.

The corner of his lips lifts a little as he leaned back using his palms to support himself.

“You s-shouldn’t have done that.” you stuttered and hated it. Eitherway, you tried to keep your cool then focused on the task you need to do. The burning gazes the young man throwing at you are making it hard, but you tried hard to ignore it.

“I want to.” he answered quickly that made your hand stop from rummaging over the kit.

You sighed, calming the rushing beating of your heart. At this rate, you knew being around him is not healthy for you. You feel like this rate of heartbeat can kill you.

When you finally found the courage to face him, your eyes laid only a few seconds on Jake’s affectionate ones. His eyes were already darted at you, like as if anticipating even the shortest contact. His smiles grew bigger after and bit his lower lip, finding you so adorable.

He chuckles that made you narrow your brows and glance at him again.

“What’s so funny?” you fired him that question, a little irritated. The cotton bud that you are holding are near his lips when you lift your gaze to see him with drunken eyes. Half-lidded and with a dangerous grin playing over his luscious lips.

“Its because you’re so far from me. Move closer. I have a lot of room for you.” his husky voice just makes you feel more nervous. He widen his legs, providing enough space between it. Trying to act cool, you sighed and stood in front of Jake. A pleased smile spread across the handsome face of the young man.

“There we go,” he sighs like this is a very fun thing for him. He’s enjoying it. “That isn’t so bad, right?” he whispers that you ignored.

You blinked and tried to calm your heartbeats. It was crazy at this point. Your body feels hot, your heart is racing and your hands are shaking. Jake’s eyes moved from your eyes down to your trembling hands. He felt a sting over his lips when you try to put the ointment, but it didn’t stop him from smirking.

“You’re shaking.” he stated. He lifts his hand and held your hand firmly. The warmth from it transfers to yours, but just made your heart thumped even faster.

“Baby,” he chuckles and caress your hand using his thumb. “relax.” he added.

At the end, you gave up trying to conceal whatever that is that you’re feeling. You groaned and then sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry. Its just you’re m-making me nervous.” you admits and stared at his eyes.

The pleased expression of him didn’t slipped off from you and his eyes brightens.

“Why?” he asked curiously.

Your face flushed and you rolled your eyes at him. “Whatever! Just quit playing around, I’m trying to deal with your bruises.” you let out frustratingly.

You were never comfortable around Jake Sim. It’s very odd even for you because you’ve never been like this to anyone. You’re usually good at making friends and around guys, but with him its just different.

Whenever he’s around, you feel like you’re heart will burst out from your ribcage, your fingers are restless, you can’t even stand eye contact and you can’t take physical touch with him. You’ll feel like you’ll pass out. You’ve liked Nicholas and your friends had introduced you to these feelings, but what you feel with Jake is just way stronger.

“Why are you always mad at me?” his tone does not sound mad or anything. He sounded curious.

“I’m n-not mad at you.” you tried assuring him.

He tilts his head, “Are you sure?”

You glanced at him and nod your head right after. He nods his head, satisfied.

“Then why avoid me?”

“I’m not.”

“Liar.” he smirks.

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe because I’m not used to being around you.”

He nods his head and smiled downwards. Your eyes stared, fascinated about his looks. He then smiled brightly.

“By any chance, do you like dogs?” he ask you so randomly which you end up answering with a nod.

“Don’t you think you’re cheating?” Jake didn’t even falter from watching you when Samael, one of the gate keepers of the forbidden passage suddenly appears.

He rolled his eyes, already used to the presence of the said gate keeper. Normal humans unable to see him, but since Jake’s case is different, he’s stuck with him. He’s been showing up from time to time to either give him small hints for things or just tease him around. He kept asking him why he’s showing up but never once he received a definite answer. He just gave up and accepted his random visits.

“You lured her using your dog because you knew very well she used to have one that looked exactly like the dog you just adopted.” Samael stated and even leaned over the railing to watch you play around Layla, Jake’s dog.

“Can’t you see that she’s happy?”

Samael pursed his lips then nods his head in agreement. “Well, good job I guess?” his tone taunting.

Jake chuckles and kept his eyes at you. He invited you in his house and introduced you with his pet, Layla. You’ve fallen in love ever since.

“Jake!” you shouts his name and he waved his hand once.

“Come here!” he nods and jogs towards your direction before Samael disappears into thin air.

For other people, Jake seems to be a cold, mysterious and reserved type of guy. But with you, he’s completely different. He’s very generous with the things he want to share you, he smiles a lot, very gentle, attentive and affectionate.

After getting close with Jake, you started to feel more ease around him. It actually got better. The butterflies in your stomach are still there, but they’re manageable.

Things between Jeena fell apart. Even if you wanted to fix things between the two of you, she already felt distant. Nicholas tried to talked to you, but Jake’s not letting him get that chance. You told him off as well because you don’t want Jake to be pissed that can lead to another brawl.

“How come you just moved here?” you ask one afternoon while you and Jake hangs out to his house.

You’re at their garden, laying on your stomach and him on his back while Layla runs around chasing some butterfly. Jake puts his hand right in front your mouth, offering a grape. He’s smiling so widely.

“I don’t know. Why? You wished you met me sooner?” he asks teasing you.

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed at what he said. A part of you aches and rejoys at that very moment. You knew the lost of your Mom scarred you for life and finding Jake somehow heals you. But no matter how much you hate to admit it, you still feel something’s missing. Your heart stil aches.

You snapped back to reality when Jake’s hand graze gently over your hair, hanging some loose strands to your ear.

“I wished I knew you sooner too.” his words sounded so sincere. His eyes silently communicating to you.

“Thank you for being there when nobody was, Jake.” you told him.

For you, that might mean thanking him for the past months you’ve been spending your time with him. But for Jake, it was the whole duration that he knew you. From when he was an angel, until he’s a human. It tugs something in his heart. He knew he loves you and that he’s down bad for you, but this time he’s sure that there’s no turning back. There’s no more rising from his feelings for you.

“Jaeyun,” he says that made you furrow your brows a bit, confused.

That was the first time he ever said his angel name ever since he stepped foot here on earth.

“Call me Jaeyun, baby.” he added that made your eyes looked so soft, heart thumping along with the beats of his.

“Jaeyun...” you mumbled so gently that almost made him crazy.

A tear formed your eyes before Jake pulls you close to his body, caging you into a tight embrace.

That just made your relationship with Jake even more better. After that you two are inseparable. It’s like there’s already an unwritten message that you two felt the same way and nobody can come between you.

“You should go home now.” you said while still holding Jake’s hand. He walked you home after spending the whole day together.

He smiles, “Go inside first, baby. I’ll go once you’re in.”

You pout that made him chuckle. He pulled you close and kisses you over your temple.

“Go.” he says again.

You are left with no choice but to nod your head and leaned in to give him a swift kiss at his lips. That stunned Jake completely. You flushed when you felt him stiffened. Embarrassed of what you just did, you are about to run home when he grabbed you by your wrist.

“Not so fast,” he says in a low tone. “Baby you can’t just leave after what you pulled.”

He embraced you, nuzzling your neck. Your heart’s beating so loudly that you are sure he heard it. He smiles and slowly pulls away then cups your face. You returned his smile with a flushed cheeks. He leaned making your noses touch and caress it gently before he tilts his head to give you a sweet slow kiss.

Beneath the bright moon, your heart beat got in sync together as a signal of a love blooming between one another. One love that only comes once in a million.

“I love you, Y/n.” he says.

“I love you, Jaeyun.” and you nuzzle over his chest.

The smile over Jake’s lips almost brighten the night. On his way home, he couldn’t stop giggling to himself.

“Your lips will tear off any minute now.”

He jumps in surprise. “Why do you keep showing this way, Samael?” he asked a little mad.

Samael smirked, showing off his dimple. “I’m bored.” he shrugs his shoulder off.

“Don’t you have a passage to guard?”

“Not a lot of angels have that kind of desire to open that gate, Jake.”

He didn’t talk right away so Samael took the opportunity to speak again.

“Aren’t you going to offer your heart?”

Jake furrowed his brows, “No. Why would I do that? Everything’s going well.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Even if he’s a little confused, Jake nods his head and dismissed the gate keeper. He felt bothered, but just ignored it. You and him are completely fine.

Or so he thought...

Because despite of being happy around him. Despite feeling so much joy and contentment around Jake, your heart still felt heavy. Your Dad are mistreating you, only pointing out your wrongs and never giving care towards you. He was always the workaholic type, but this is just too much for you. Its like you don’t have a family.

Your Mom suffered with him, staying in a marriage that are so cold and dull. You are the only reason she stays and now she left you too because your Father, the one who suppose to be the one protecting and keeping your family together, broke it. He had an affair with somebody else and your mother couldn’t take such betrayal so she took her own life.

And now, you couldn’t believe your own eyes when he walked inside your house, a lady linking her arms on his.

“Y/n,” he calls. “This is (name). Your new mom.” he announced that broke you into pieces.

It was like your Dad didn’t care at all. He didn’t care to you or to your late mother. He’s disrespecting not only his marriage, but your own Mom. You couldn’t take it. Your heart that has a hole on it felt like being teared apart once again. Your heart that Jake tries to make whole are being ripped into pieces.

“She’s not my mother.” you said with gritted teeth.

The smile on his face faded.

“She isn’t my mom! And she will never be my mom! Get your bitch out of our house—” your ears ringed when a loud slap was thrown over your way.

Your eyes big out of shock and you’re stonned at yout position. Once recovered, you glared at him. You cursed him inside your mind and swears that he will pay for every pain he had caused you and your mother. So you ran. You run away that cold night.

Your feet hurts from walking mindlessly. It was past midnight and the streets are almost empty. Your head turns and you realized you’re at a bridge. A tear left your eye again after realizing of what you’re about to do.

You quickly fished your phone and dialled the number of the only person that matters to you.

“Hey, baby.” his warm voice made you smile. Tears pool over your eyes at the thought of hurting him so much, but you know there’s no escape.

Even if Jake’s mending the pain, its just too much for you. You wished you knew him sooner because he might’ve saved you. Jake might have lessen the scars. You love him and he loves you.

“Hey. Are you crying?” the worry over his tone just made you cry even more.

How can someone be so pure and genuine?

“I love you.” you said between your sobs. You can hear him from the other line, rummaging through things.

“Where are you right now? I’m coming to you. Stay put, baby.” he says.

You sniffs, “I l-love you so much, Jaeyun.” you mumbled, ignoring his questions.

“Y/n! Where the hell are you?!” his tone starts to panic.

“Thank you so much for everything. You made me happier.”

“Baby! Where—”

“Please tell me you love me.” you cut him off.

Jake’s going crazy already. His hands are shaking, his eyes teary. He doesn’t know what to do or where to start looking for you. He’s never been this scared.

“I love you, Y/n. I love you so much, hmm baby? Stay where you are. I’m coming.”

You smiled, contented of hearing those words from you. Even at the last moments you felt loved. All thanks to Jake Sim.

“Good bye.” and with that you end the call then climbed to the railings of the bridge.

“Y/n!!” Jake screams and tries to free himself from the nurses that are holding him off.

He went straight here at the hospital after hearing the news.

“Please, save her! Please.” he begged, tears streaming down his face.

“We are trying our best, Sir!”

Jake’s fell on his knees, hopeless. He was lost of words, mind’s a mess. Where did he went wrong? Why did you do it? Is he not enough? Are you not happy with him?

He slowly pulls himself back up and stormed outside the quiet parking lot of the hospital. He turns his head like a crazy man, desperately searching for someone.

“Samael!” he calls out.

“Samael!” he screams continuously.

He fell on his knees, crying.

“You call for me?”

His head lifts up, a hint of hope lights Jake’s eyes.

“Y/n will live, right?”

Samael kept his straight face, the usual playful grin on his face was nowhere to be found.

“I don’t know. Base on the records, none survived from that bridge.” Jake’s heart cracks at what he heard.

“She ended her life and you, as a former angel, knew very well that its a grave sin. Only means she cannot be granted another life and her soul will be stuck on the underworld.” Samael says.

“Take my heart.”

Samael stiffened at how fast Jake Sim said that. Without hesitation the young man stared at him straight to his eyes.

“Take my heart in exchange of saving her.” Jake said.

Samael smirks, “I thought you’re not going to be like the first fallen angel?”

“Save her. That’s my first wish.” Jake ignored his taunting question. A tear fell from his eyes.

“Are you sure? Without your heart, you won’t be able to be given another chance to walk on earth.” he reminds him.

“Save her.”

Samael nods and taps Jake’s chest. He grunts in pain and he saw that he was pulling something out from him. As to how he does that without killing him, he don’t know.

“Second wish?”

Jake sighs, “That y/n will live a normal and happy life in her next lives. She deserves to be happy.” he says genuinely.

“Even without you?”

Jake clenches his jaw. “If that means she can be happy without living with pain, then yes.”

Samael nods.

“Last wish?”

“Before I say my last wish, can I go see her first? I know she will be unconscious. I just want to see her one last time.”

Samael was lost of words, and just agrees on what Jake wishes. When they walked back inside the hospital, it was more peaceful. The nurse from a while ago smiles brightly at Jake when she recognized him.

“Sir! The patient is stable now! For some miracle the doctor’s managed to save her!”

Jake smiles warmly, tears streaming over his face. He turned over Samael and nods. He nodded back and just disappeared, giving him time with you.

After the doctor’s made sure that you are all right, you are moved to a more comfortable room. Jake enters and his heart broke at the sight of you full of machine operators around you. He tried to smile, but tears are all over his face.

“Baby,” he whispers and approached your bed to hold your hand. Feeling it so cold just made him even more heartbroken.

“I’m sorry.” he says, kissing your hand so gently.

“This world is too cruel to you. I promise to make it more nicer, okay?” he smiles and kisses you over your forehead.

“I love you so much.”

He stayed that way until he felt a presence by the corner of the room.

“It’s you, right?” Jake mumbles while he brush your hair softly.

“You are the first fallen angel,” he added, referring to Samael.

He cannot see his reaction, but he knew he somehow caught him off guard. Jake slowly trailed his eyes towards him and he saw him leaning over the wall.

“Park Sunghoon, the first fallen angel.” Jake says.

Samael, or Sunghoon as to how the angels used to address him, smirks. “You are really something.” he won’t lie. He did caught him off-guard.

“Well, you caught me.” he says and smirked.

“I’m just curious.” Jake says.

“About what?”

“Your last wish.” his eyes stares at the man full of anticipation. “What was your last wish when you offered your heart?”

Sunghoon smiles faltered for a bit. A hint of sorrow and pain flashes through his eyes.

“My last wish is that the love of my life will manage to find someone that will love her genuinely. A love so strong and pure with no greed and selfishness.” he says and smiled.

Jake didn’t talk right away, but he nods his head. He turns his head to face you. He stares at you lovingly and caress your face gently.

“Does 8 months with her worthy of the sacrifices you did?” Sunghoon asks.

“It was worth it and I will repeat it again in heartbeat if I may.” and he leaned in to give you last one kiss at your forehead, mumbling his undying love for you.

“Last wish, Jake.”

Jake sighs and faced Sunghoon.

“I wished for your heart to be returned so you can have a chance to live again and find true love.”

Sunghoon’s eyes grew at Jake’s wish. The latter smiles and taps his shoulder, still unable to speak a word.

“I can do that right? I can wish for someone else' heart to be returned.”

Jake sighs.

“You deserve to be loved too. Everyone does.” he sighs.

“Good bye, my love. I will love you forever.” Jake whispers and with that, he can feel himself being taken away by somebody. Sunghoon’s eyes watered in utter shock and the last thing Jake remembers is the darkness eating him whole.

Someone’s continuously yanking off his shoulder. Muffled voices were talking nonstop, pulling him off from his deep slumber. Slowly, Jake’s eyes flutter open. Slightly confused and taken aback, he started to wonder where he is.

“Dude, finally!” his brows furrowed hardly at the sight of a familiar boy.

”Heeseung?” his tone came out totally confused.

“Hurry up! We’ll be caught! Mrs. Choi’s furious! We already skipped a lot of practice! Hurry the fuck up!” it says in a panic voice and pulled him.

Even if in complete trance, he lets himself be dragged. Soon, some more familiar faces arrived. Jungwon, Jay, Sunoo and Ni-ki. These are the people from your previous life. But why are they here? Jake starts to wonder if he’s dreaming. Are they even allowed to dream back on the underworld?

“Fuck! We’re fucked! Hurry up!” Jungwon cursed and pushed pass those students so they can arrive the theater faster.

Upon arrival, Jake noticed that the stage was perfectly designed. His heart falters at the familiar scenery. It was the forbidden passage. But how...?

“Fascinating, isn’t it?”

Jake head turns when he heard a familiar voice.

“S-Sunghoon?”

His famous smirk flashes over his face, “If you’re going to ask me how did it happen, I can’t answer that. If you’re asking if this is true, yes.” he chuckled and put his hands inside his pockets. He’s wearing the same uniform as Jake and it isn’t the same ones from your previous school.

“You are alive. Again.” he says, and Jake rests his hand over his chest to feel his heart thumping lively.

“Then where is—Ow!” he grunted when he felt pain over his head once hit by something.

Now Jake’s sure that this isn’t a dream.

“Where were you, Jake Sim?! You are already punished because you cut class too much!”

Jake’s eyes widen and he turned around to face you. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. In front of him stands a fuming mad y/n. Yes, your hair may be a little different and the way you dresses, but its you. His heart thumped like crazy at the sight of you, like a puppy getting excited at the sight of its owner.

“Baby,” he mumbles and quickly pulled you into a hug.

He then yelped in pain when you pinched him over the sides, “Don’t you dare try to woo me with your sweet words!”

“Ow, that hurts!”

“Dude, is she not my girlfriend?” Jake asks Sunghoon who's smirking.

He scoffed, “She is. But you’re kind of a troublemaker so she’s really pissed off.”

“Kind of?! KIND OF?” your voice raised at what Sunghoon said.

The latter jolts as well and even straighten his back nervously. “You are lucky I managed to convince our drama club head to let you play the main lead in exchange of not expelling you.” you told Jake.

You seemed very mad, but the smile on Jake’s face aren’t fading at all. He looks at you with full affection and genuine longing.

“I love you, y/n.” Jake.

You blushed but you try hard to keep your angry face. “I love you too, but I’m still pissed. Go down and start rehearsing!” you screamed and starts to push him towards the stage.

“What is the play even about? I forgot.” Jake reasons out that irritated you even more.

“It's about the first fallen angel, you dumb!”

Jake groaned, “Who am I?”

“The fallen angel.”

He couldn’t believe what's happening right now as he continues to whine at you. Sunghoon puts his hands inside his pocket while watching the scene silently. A small genuine smile spread across his face.

He doesn’t know if the concept of angels keeping their memories even if they became human is a good thing. Because despite of living again, they carry the guilt of commiting a grave sin. Sunghoon’s fine along with it as he knew this is what makes himself whole. His silent plea of forgiveness and desire to be loved will always be with him.

“So you did find the person that will love you purely and genuinely, Y/n.” he sighs. “My love.” he whispers.

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[jinhyun]

—mean it.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader, oc x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 16.2k (i'm so sorry omg)

summary: hyunjin crashing at a party he wasn't initially invited to, with the one and only purpose of seeing you, could either go incredibly wrong... or incredibly right.

warnings: mansion party, drinking, cursing, heavy making out, foreplay, very slight fingering and handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), MINORS DNI!!!!

a/n: hellooo, here it is!! this monster of a one shot!!! i am so sorry to those of you who aren't into long fics (i feel you my bbs i'm one of them lol) but you can always take your time and read this in a couple of days or something idk :')

either way i hope you guys enjoy and please, please, pleaseeee let me know your thoughts on this. it really took me more effort and time than i had initially calculated lmao and i would really love to gossip about it with you guys<3

Feelings were something Hyunjin had avoided all his life. Or at least for as long as he had learned the meaning of them, along with the implications of being in a formal relationship with the one person you allegedly had said feelings for.

He just didn't understand why anyone would want to complicate things with them, when they could simply live in the moment and be with anyone they wanted, whenever they wanted. No strings attached seemed like Heaven, and the best way to live your life.

It had worked for him all these years. No complications. No misunderstandings. Just meaningless sex, with girls who knew beforehand they would not be getting anything else from him. If they were lucky enough, they might get to be with him more than once in the name of having a good time, but that was it. That was all they would ever get. That was all he would ever give to someone.

Up until you came into the picture.

You had come to change his entire world without a warning, as you were the exact opposite to him by not being afraid of your feelings — if anything, being in love with the whole concept of them. You were shameless when it came to them. You were in love with the idea of love.

You had feelings for him, and you did not try to hide it one bit. You knew that he knew about them, yet you did not try to play it cool or to even deny it. No, you embraced it. And that was both annoying and terrifying to Hyunjin.

He didn't know how to react to that. He didn't like feelings. He didn't want complications. He didn't want commitment.

But then he found himself caring a little too much about you and Changbin hooking up.

And he found himself looking for excuses to spend time with you.

And feeling his chest tighten at both the sight and thought of you and his friend.

Until he kissed you. And suddenly he didn't only feel all that about you and his friend alone, but about you and anyone else. You and anyone who wasn't him.

He started caring a little too much about you. Wanting to be with you at all times. Wanting to kiss you at all times. Wanting to talk to you, to make you laugh. Wanting to make you feel better whenever you were down, and be there with you through all your achievements.

He started wanting you all to himself.

Just like that, he got caught in the complications he never wanted, and the commitment he had so diligently tried to avoid.

And it took him to lose you for it to hit him why he had found himself caught in all those situations he so confidently claimed to despise.

Feelings. That was the answer. His feelings for you. The very ones he had tried his best to look past and now could no longer deny.

The very ones that ended up bringing him into a house —not to say mansion— he had never been to before, surrounded by people who were mainly strangers to him, looking for the one person amongst all of them he only cared about.

Changbin had called Soyeon as soon as they arrived at the mansion, so she could open the door for them and let them into the party they were both crashing at. Hyunjin only got to greet her before he realised he was third wheeling a matter of seconds later — flashbacks to that one time he had found them making out in Minhyuk's kitchen coming to mind and making him cringe, being enough to excuse himself from them and decide to wander around on his own instead.

Taking a look around, he couldn't help but curse under his breath over how fucking big the place was. He was pretty sure the fancy living room alone was bigger than his entire shared apartment with Seungmin and Bin. The marble stairs to the second floor looked straight out of an upper class movie, and he failed at counting all the doors that were at simple sight.

How the hell was he supposed to find you in here?

He was not giving up that easily, though. He had literally only come here because of you, after all. So, with a subtle shake of his head, he made his way through the many acting majors so he could reach what he thought would be the kitchen. You being there getting a refill or just hanging out seemed like a very high possibility.

Only you were not.

There were only a few people in there, and after doing a double take, he came to terms with you simply not being there. Letting out a sigh, he walked up to the counter and poured himself a drink, taking a sip of it as he pulled his phone out and scrolled down on Twitter — maybe you had posted something that could give him an idea about where exactly you were inside this endless-looking place.

"Hyunjin?"

His head snapped towards where his name had came from — having been too focused on his phone to fully take in the femenine voice, yet hoping he would lock eyes with you. Instead, he found himself locking them with Lee Somin, an acting major he had met at a party last year and ended up taking back home that same night.

"Somin…" he couldn't help but sound disappointed.

"Hey" she smiled. "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while".

"Yeah, it's been like… a year?" his eyebrows knitted together deep in thought.

"I'm pretty sure we ran into each other last term" her lips curved up in a way he could tell she was flirting. "But yeah, a year more or less".

Hyunjin nodded, silently looking down into his cup as he considered taking another sip.

In all honesty, he couldn't care less — neither to remember how long had it been, nor to keep this conversation going. It had only been a one time thing, after all. He had maybe seen her one or two times on campus after that. Not important enough for him to keep track of.

He should have considered the possibility of running into his past hookups when coming here. Any other time, he wouldn't have minded. Three or maybe even two months ago, he wouldn't have minded in the slightest. But tonight he only wanted to find you. Entertaining any kind of conversation with those he had been with at some point before you was truly not part of his plans.

"Didn't think you'd be here" Somin gave it another shot at initiating small talk.

"I wasn't," he blurted out. "I mean, it was last minute".

"Couldn't turn down having some fun, huh?" she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to him.

Hyunjin moved away, slightly, not to seem rude. "Uh, yeah… I just…"

"Maybe we could stick together" she proposed with a smirk, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was way past tipsy by now. "We had lots of fun together last time".

"I'm actually here with someone" he confidently informed her, both to her and his own surprise.

"Oh? I thought dating wasn't really your scene?"

"It wasn't," he agreed. "It just sort of happened".

"Who's the lucky girl then?"

Hyunjin shrugged.

Y/N. You. Of course that was the answer, what he wanted to believe — what he wanted to be true. But going around telling people that you two were together was not the most ideal of moves. Not when it was not true. Not when he was trying to win you over again and didn't want to hurt you nor make you mad any further.

"Well?" she pushed it. "Don't make me think you're only making it up to keep me from taking you home with me tonight".

He rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his drink and muffling his answer. "Y/N".

"What?"

"Y/N," he repeated, louder this time after having swallowed. "I'm with Y/N".

The smirk that had just curved up her lips at the sound of your name almost made him sick to his stomach. "The artist?"

He nodded.

Somin shook her head in amusement. She did not believe him for shit.

"I mean, I heard that around a couple of times but I just couldn't believe it" she chuckled. "You guys must be in a pretty messy relationship then, considering she's been very lovey dovey with Na Heesung tonight".

Hyunjin found himself physically having to bite his tongue, not to say anything he'd regret later. "You know where she is right now?"

She shook her head no. "I ran into them like an hour ago and I haven't seen them since. Maybe they're in the backyard, or in a room upstairs".

Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist at the last remark. There was no way, right? You couldn't possibly be hooking up with Heesung as they spoke.

"Funny" he took another sip, letting his body lean against the counter.

"I mean it, though" she cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen a few couples go upstairs and not come back yet. Apparently it is a thing to hook up in a mansion with as many rooms as an apartment complex. Not like Yurim cares anyway".

"She wouldn't" Hyunjin mumbled.

"Y/N?" Somin wondered, looking up at him before her stare softened. "You guys are really together?"

Once again, he fell silent, staring into his cup like his life depended on it and shrugging her question off.

As if on cue —and almost as manifested by him— your laugh was heard in the living room, getting closer by the second. And before Hyunjin could straighten himself up in order to walk towards where he had heard your voice, you entered the kitchen. Much to his disdain, in the company of the one and only Na Heesung.

"Hyunjin-ah" you said the moment your eyes abandoned Heesung and locked with Hyunjin's first thing, clearly surprised by his presence.

"Hey, Y/N…" he smiled, not bothering to acknowledge the guy next to you who had just excused himself to pour yourselves a new drink.

Hyunjin would be damned to look at anyone else right then as you were right in front of him looking like that. You had gone for the black dress you had shown him through the picture he had whined for, and if he had died at the sight of you in it through his phone's screen, he was sure he had reached Heaven by now. The way you had decided to let your hair down in the end, somehow only managing for him to find it harder to breathe.

That button down black dress would be the end of him, that was for sure.

He wanted nothing but to pull you to him right then and run his fingers through the smooth fabric of it, which hugged your body so beautifully he found it hard to control himself.

Oblivious to the thoughts going through his head at the mere sight of you and your choice of clothing, you smiled back. "I didn't know you were coming?"

He cleared his throat, snapping out of it. "I was invited last minute".

You nodded understandingly, eyes travelling from him to the girl by his side, whose presence you were only now noticing. Not taking his eyes away from you, Hyunjin saw your smile be erased in a second, and that was all it took for him to realise you were putting two plus two together and not exactly getting four out of that sum.

"I see…" you tried to smile again, accepting the new drink Nana was offering you.

"Not by…" Hyunjin rushed to explain, throwing Somin a quick glance before his eyes were back on you. "She didn't—we're not…"

Your smile grew bigger, genuine, at his poor way with words. "It's okay, I get it".

"No but—"

"We just came here for drinks, so…" Heesung spoke up, trying to help you out of that situation and earning himself a glare from Hyunjin while at it.

"Ah, yeah" you agreed, giving Hyunjin and the girl one last look as you followed Nana out of there. "Have fun, you guys".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Having come all the way here, Hyunjin had most certainly not expected that to be his first encounter with you.

He had come all the way here for you, to see you. Running into one of his past hookups and having her next to him right as you ran into him, making you believe he had come here with her, had entirely defeated the whole purpose of him showing up.

Sure, the main reason he had come here was to make sure you and Heesung wouldn't end up hooking up —or worse, becoming a couple— by the end of the night, but it was also so he could spend some time with you. He wanted to be with you. Maybe get a drink together. Talk. Laugh. Win you back.

And every hope of his to get to do just that tonight had been shut down not even fifteen minutes into the party.

Running a hand through his hair as he and Somin walked out of the kitchen and parted ways, he found himself feeling not only frustrated over the whole situation, but also embarrassed as hell after being caught in his own white lie to the girl.

He tried his best to put all of it past him and once again look for you, not wanting to give up just yet — coming up with excuse after excuse to try and take you away from Heesung the moment he saw you again, so he could finish explaining himself. Just a couple of minutes would do.

"Guys, guys!" a blonde yelled from the other side of the room, where a small group of people was sitting down on the floor. "We're about to play a game, in case anyone wants to join!"

Not thinking much of it, Hyunjin resumed his way through the living room on his search for you, shaking his head in amusement when he saw Somin run towards them and sit down in the circle that was only getting bigger and bigger.

And he would've actually walked straight past said group of people and out to the backyard, if it weren't for the fact that he caught a glimpse of you — already sitting down on the floor, careful enough not to have your dress accidentally roll up your thighs. Surprised not to see Heesung next to you, he looked around, almost not believing he had left you all alone in a room full of strangers, about to play a drinking game.

That didn't last long, though, for the next second Nana was back in the picture, sitting down right next to you —in a spot you had apparently saved for him— and placing a black jacket on your legs. You smiled, visibly touched by that considerate gesture of his, before you shifted into a more comfortable position now that your legs were mostly covered. Into a position closer to him.

"Hyunjin, you're playing?" Somin asked from the opposite end, snapping him out of it.

Only then he realised he had been staring for too long — more eyes on him than he would've enjoyed, all of them waiting for his answer so the game could begin.

Hyunjin shook his head no, walking over to the closest wall and leaning against it as he faced the human circle that had just been created. "Just watching".

Feeling your familiar stare on him from the corner of his eyes, he locked them with yours, and he could see you shift in your place as you became nervous under his piercing stare. No one else but Heesung had seemed to notice the subtle change in your mood.

Your eyes only broke contact when the same girl that had announced the game for everyone to join before began to explain the dynamics of the so-called 'whisper game'. It was simple — one person secretly asked a question to another one, the latter answered out loud for everyone to hear, and whoever wanted to know what the question was had to take a shot.

Hyunjin could only thank that they had gone with that drinking game instead of the cliché spin the bottle one. Although he might've played this time around, in hopes to get to feel your addictive lips on his one more time. The idea of you kissing someone else, however, was not nearly as appealing — not to say horrifying.

This whole different game was pretty boring from the sideways, he realised ten minutes in. Hearing answer after answer without getting any context as to what had been asked seemed pointless, yet he could not find himself to be interested enough to sit down and play, nor indifferent enough to leave — not when you were still playing.

The only time he had felt the urge to join was when this other guy had gotten close enough to whisper something to you and make you laugh quite loud, which was followed by a shake of your head and a confident "no". Half of the people there had not hesitated to drink up and crawl over to the guy so they could find out what he had asked you, and Hyunjin would lie if he said he didn't consider taking a shot right then.

Other than that, he could feel himself grow bored.

Up until a redhead asked something to Heesung later on, causing him to look shy for a moment there. And, you see, that itself was not enough to catch Hyunjin's attention, he could not care any less about the guy and what he had to say. But seeing him lean in to whisper something in your ear, when it wasn't even his turn to ask, had him tensing up on his place.

You seemed a bit taken aback by whatever it was that Nana had told you — your eyes unconsciously going up to Hyunjin for a millisecond before they were back on Heesung. And then you nodded.

As if mimicking your actions, Nana nodded as well, fixing his eyes back on the girl who had asked him a question before he finally answered. "Y/N".

The girl covered her mouth as she squealed, that simple action having people taking shots like their lives depended on it — all of them obnoxiously cooing once they got the answer they had drank for.

Only you had seemed not to drink. Maybe because you already knew the answer, he thought. Maybe that's what Heesung had whispered to you before announcing your name to everyone else. Maybe he had just confessed, and he wanted you to be the first one to know.

Hyunjin's head was all over the place — the mere idea of you and Heesung together, and him being too, late made him want to scream.

As if that wasn't enough to freak him out, Heesung's turn to ask was next. The second he leaned in to ask you something, Hyunjin knew he was taking the shot.

Having heard the question, you sat back up, conflicted eyes once more locking with Hyunjin's, as you seemed to look for the answer deep down you already knew.

And for a moment there, just for a second, Hyunjin thought he would be your choice. Whatever the question had been, whether important or not, he thought his name would be the one abandoning your mouth next. However, he was proven wrong the second your eyes went back to Heesung.

"You".

Heesung smiled, and Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist for the second time that night — only now he could actually feel his knuckles turn white out of anger. Out of jealousy.

Before he could stop himself, he was taking a seat next to you and snatching from your hand the shot that had previously been refilled, not even caring about the stranger next to you he had just shoved aside to get some space in between, and most definitely not thinking twice before he was downing it all in one go and feeling the liquor burn its way down his throat.

"You can't just get in the game whenever you feel like it" you quietly recriminated him.

Hyunjin shrugged, staring at you in such a way you knew he was not giving this up. "I already drank, so tell me".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

How you had found yourself to be in such a situation was beyond you.

The party had been going great for the first hour and a half. You and Heesung had been stuck together the entire time, taking things to the backyard and sitting down on a bench by the pool, just talking and laughing the night away, joining in eventual conversations with his classmates — yet somehow preferring to just be the two of you for most of the time.

It had been later on when everything had seemed to go to shit. When the two of you had gone back inside after you had gotten cold, and Heesung proposed going to the kitchen to get more drinks. You had agreed to it in a heartbeat, laughing on your way over there, as having another drink sounded just perfect to you.

Until your eyes met Hyunjin's first thing once in there.

And maybe it wouldn't have really mattered to you that he was there, if it weren't for the fact that he had company.

You couldn't help but feel stupid right there. Two months. You had been trying to get over him for a little over two months now, and you still felt your heart squeeze at the sight of him and someone else.

All you could do right then without being too obvious about the evident change in your mood was to greet him — quickly, barely acknowledging him before moving on.

That's why you had thanked Heesung for getting you out of there as soon as you were back in the living room, and why the drinking game was perfect timing. You had not even hesitated before you dragged Nana to join it with you. You would get to avoid Hyunjin and his date —or whatever that acting major was to him— and get your mind off the way your heart had felt at the sight of them together.

Of course, you didn't count on her wanting to play as well and sitting down right across from you. At least Hyunjin didn't seem interested enough to join in as well — you surely wouldn't have been able to handle his answers to the possible questions he would've been getting, especially when he seemed to have come here with someone else. No matter how hard you had tried, you realised right then you weren't nearly halfway getting over him. You were nowhere near ready to see him with someone else just yet.

The questions had been pretty silly at first, everyone was having a laugh and drinking for the sake of it. Or, well, for the sake of gossip. Drama was something that seemed far away from the game. Up until this one guy asked a girl who she'd rather make out with in the party and she answered with no hesitation. From then on, the questions began getting more serious, spicier.

You had been too busy laughing at Heesung when a redhead —whose name you had learned was Minseo— used her turn to ask him of all people a question, to even notice him leaning in towards you and placing his lips dangerously close to your ear.

"Do you wanna see whether Hwang feels something for you?"

His words had you physically leaning back and away from him, staring at him in shock for a moment before your eyes travelled towards Hyunjin, whose awaiting eyes were already fixing on yours.

Did you? That was the thing, did you want to know whether he felt something for you? Did you want to know now of all times? Now that you guys were done and you were trying your hardest to move on?

The rational side of you was quick to answer no. No, you did not want to know. You were done with him. Whether he felt something for you or not did not matter in the slightest, because it would not change anything.

The romantic side of you, the one that had been in love with Hwang Hyunjin for over a year now and that was still hurting over him not feeling the same way you did, wanted to know. Because that part of you was the hardest to shut down, especially when it came to the one person you had felt the strongest for.

In the end, the answer was simple. Your heart always seemed to win when it came to making decisions somehow. So you nodded.

And as Nana said your name out loud and everyone freaked out over it, even more after hearing what he had been asked for him to say your name as his final answer, you couldn't bring yourself to stop looking at Hyunjin.

Reading him, his feelings and thoughts, had never been an easy task to do. Right then, however, although still wearing a rather unreadable serious semblance, you could tell he was not happy.

He did not like to have your name abandon Heesung's mouth like that in the slightest.

And for a moment there, you thought he was about to join the game and take a shot. You thought he would care enough to go and find find the answer. But he didn't.

Too focused on him, you didn't even drink. Not like you really cared about what the previous question had been, you knew Nana hadn't meant his answer anyway. Plus, you would probably end up hearing it from someone else at some point, just like you were sure Hyunjin would, too.

When it was Heesung's turn to ask and he leaned in once more towards you, though, this time asking an actual question that you would have to answer out loud for everyone to hear, you were able to get an idea as to what he had been asked right before.

"Out of everyone here, who would you like to kiss tonight?"

Now, you knew he was doing this to help you get a reaction out of Hyunjin. Therefore, you were supposed to answer him, Na Heesung. Not a single thought. Just say his name. Right away.

But you couldn't help but actually give it a second thought.

You could've said Hyunjin. He was the one you wanted to kiss that night, being honest, and you wanted nothing but to slap yourself across the face for you to wake the fuck up. You were not supposed to want to kiss him. Not tonight, not ever. Yet here you were, locking eyes with him while you internally debated whether you should say his name or not.

No, you couldn't say his name — you were hit with a change of heart. Even if you wanted to kiss him, even if you were dying to feel his mouth on yours like you had oh-so-many-times done by now, you couldn't say it out loud. Not for everyone to hear. Not for him to hear. Not when you knew he didn't want to be with you in the same way you wanted to be with him.

You couldn't keep making a fool out of yourself. You couldn't keep giving him the pleasure of your undivided attention when he didn't reciprocate.

Forcing yourself to look away from him, you nervously fidgeted with one of the buttons on your dress, collecting all the sanity you had left before you could find it in you to confidently look at Nana and to answer for once and for all. "You".

The collective cheer that followed your one-word answer, right before the nosy players began drinking down their shots, was no surprise. You had expected it no matter what your answer was.

What you were not expecting was for Hyunjin to sit down next to you in what felt like a second — snatching the drink from your hand and downing it all in one go, so he could demand to hear what you had been asked.

It was funny, not to say tragic, how, somehow, all your decisions, all your feelings, always came back to Hyunjin.

You had come to this party to forget about him. You had felt that annoying, oh-so-familiar pressure in your chest because of him, when you saw him with someone else. You had decided to play this drinking game to once again keep your mind away from him. You had agreed to play along with Heesung's scheme because of him. You had answered Heesung because of him.

And now, you were currently panicking because of him. The one and only, Hwang Hyunjin.

Always, Hwang Hyunjin.

"Well?" he pushed it. "What was the question?"

"Um…" you hesitated, looking back at Heesung, in hopes of getting some help from him.

"Oh, come on," the girl Hyunjin had been with when you greeted him earlier that night spoke up. "Everyone already drank, you guys can announce it out loud and save us the trouble of having to go there and hear it one by one".

Heesung's eyes locked with yours, silently asking for permission to let everyone know what he had just asked.

You shrugged, defeated. Everyone would end up knowing anyway. Hyunjin would end up knowing anyway. There was no escape this time around, so it was better to just get it over with.

"Um. I asked who she'd rather kiss".

Everyone's reaction was the exact same as it had been when they found out why Nana had answered with your name before. Only this time it was in unison, louder, as they had all found out at the same time.

And this time you could feel Hyunjin tense up right next to you.

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, keeping it safe instead by looking down to your lap, while your face burned up in embarrassment as you heard different voices speculating about your relationship with Heesung.

"Hold on, hold on," Minseo's cheeky tone brought everyone's attention to her. "So Nana said he'd like to take Y/N home with him by the end of the night and now Y/N said she'd rather kiss him~"

Hyunjin's face snapped in your direction, a frown visible on it as he seemed to be piecing everything together. The same as you were at this newfound information. So that was what Heesung had answered your name for.

His intentions of helping you out made a lot more sense now that Hyunjin had heard the question, too.

Not like he had much time to process it anyway, as another girl who had gotten way too much to drink by now was fast to chant, "Ohhh, now kiss!"

Both you and Heesung tensed up in your spot, exchanging looks as you hoped no one else would engage with that comment.

Your luck was no such, though, for it was only a matter of seconds before everyone started chanting for the two of you to kiss as well.

Everyone but Hyunjin, of course. Unlike the rest, who seemed to be enjoying this way too much, he remained silent, still, almost scared of moving — as if the slightest of movements from him would send you straight to Heesung's mouth.

"We're not kissing in front of you all" Heesung tried to play it off with a laugh.

"Yeah," you joined him. "You guys are crazy".

That had only served as fuel to the fire. The chanting now becoming louder, followed along with claps, to the point you knew there was no changing their drunken minds unless you gave them what they wanted.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"Ugh, I'm sorry" he apologised to you, voice barely audible in between all the madness.

You shook your head, letting him know it was alright. "Let's just get it over with"

Although your voice came out in more of a mumble and you would've thought he wouldn't hear you, the surprise displaying on his face let you know otherwise.

"You sure?" he whispered.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

You nodded, it was just one kiss after all, no big deal. The fact that Hyunjin was right next to you had been completely pushed to the back of your head by now, his presence being long overshadowed by the loud unison voices clouding your judgment.

Watching Heesung nod as well in silent agreement, you leaned in, meeting his lips halfway. Just like that. No hesitation, no second thoughts.

They were nice, soft. Enough so that you knew you would've actually enjoyed the feel of them on yours a lot more if it weren't for the cheers hurting your ears — not to say if it weren't for the fact that you were only doing it because of the social pressure.

You also would've enjoyed it one hell of a lot more if your mind weren't suddenly back on Hyunjin as Heesung's lips sucked on your bottom one.

You could've sworn you had heard his voice call out your name right as your mouth pressed to Nana's. But then again, that might've been the part of you that was still head over heels for him — the one part of you that was still hopeful, the one that still wanted him to show any kind of feelings for you.

The part of you you needed to get rid of.

Pulling away from Heesung after a couple of seconds, Hyunjin was gone.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"I'm sorry" Heesung apologised for the third time since you had quit the game.

The whisper game had been turned into spin the bottle right after your kiss, and neither you nor Heesung wanted to partake in it.

It had been harder than you had thought to leave the game, as everyone was trying to make you guys stay so it wouldn't turn boring due to losing players, but you had managed to sneak into the kitchen after a while.

You were not kissing anyone else that night.

"Nana, it's fine" you tried to laugh it off once more, sipping on the water you had decided to take in order to cancel out the few shots you drank. "It was just a game".

"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "I don't know, I didn't think it'd go that far".

"Neither did I, but… it's done now" you shrugged, placing your now empty glass down on the counter.

"At least we got a reaction out of our main target" he smirked.

"What tar—oh" you remembered, making Heesung laugh at your cluelessness. "He just left, though…"

"And that itself says a lot?!" he pointed out in disbelief. "And come on, he literally jumped to take that shot when you answered with my name".

"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. "I don't know, he's always been jealous… or possessive, whatever you want to call it, like that".

"He's always had feelings for you then".

At that, you couldn't hold your laugh. "Yeah, right".

"I'm serious, though".

"No, I think it's just… I don't know, he grew way too used to being the only one in my eyes. Any other time I would've answered with his name. He doesn't like not having that anymore, that's all".

"Y/N, you cannot for the love of God be that oblivious!" Nana whined, grabbing your shoulders and shaking them for you to get a grip. "He wouldn't go to such extents just because of that".

It was now your turn to whine, letting your head fall to his shoulder as you lamented. "Everything is just so confusing when it comes to him, I don't know what to believe anymore".

"I think you should believe what you just saw, I mean… Y/N, he literally left when we kissed".

You let out a heavy sigh, feeling Heesung's shoulders slump down as he decided to drop the topic and pull you into his arms in a comforting hug.

"You wanna leave?" he asked after a couple of seconds.

"Yeah… that might be for the best" you mumbled, slowly pulling away from his embrace as you stood up straight. "There is no way we're leaving together now, though. I won't have my name in yet another rumor".

"Seems like the fair thing to do" he chuckled. "But there's no way I'm letting you go back home alone so late, I'll just head out first and wait for you outside or something".

"I guess that could work" you agreed.

"It will," he reassured you. "Although, to be honest, I don't think they'd start a rumor regarding us two".

"I can't trust your classmates anymore, I'm sorry" you shrugged, much to his own amusement. "No but that's not all because, like, imagine if they saw us leaving together and made us kiss again".

"I get that it was mere social pressure but don't make it sound like kissing me sucks" he dramatically clutched at his chest.

Rolling your eyes, you looked away as you denied, "I didn't hate kissing you, if I'm honest… I'm just saying".

Heesung smiled. "I didn't hate it either".

You felt your cheeks heat up all over again, just like they had when you pulled away from the kiss a couple of minutes ago. That had probably been the alcohol speaking, but you did mean it.

The kiss was nice. Pleasant. Different from Hyunjin's. Different from the way you felt with Hyunjin's. But nice nonetheless.

Before any of you could try and say anything else, however, someone clearing their throat at the entrance caught your attention.

Hyunjin stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stare you had not seen on him for a good while now, if ever. It was cold, and you couldn't pinpoint whether he was hurt or mad, nor whether he was feeling that way towards you or Heesung — or maybe both.

So cold, that you felt yourself to be oh-so-little under it.

"Am I interrupting something?" his voice sounded just as cold as his eyes looked.

Heesung bit his bottom lip, swallowing his own words not to make the situation any worse and looking at you instead, so you could be the one to answer.

"N-No…" you stuttered, eyes abandoning Nana's and fixing on Hyunjin's.

He nodded, entering the kitchen and silently going over to pour himself a drink.

Giving you an understanding look before you could even process what was going on, Heesung took a step away from you and towards the entrance. "We forgot my jacket in the living room after the game, so…"

"Nana…" you whispered, failing to grab his hand for him to stay.

He motioned towards Hyunjin, whose back was turned towards you, and gave you a reassuring smile before he left the room.

You stayed in your place. Hyunjin and you were now the only ones in there, and you couldn't bring yourself to say a word to him. Were you even supposed to say anything? His back was turned to you, after all, maybe he didn't want to talk at all. Maybe you were just supposed to leave. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, too.

Leaving seemed like the best option.

"He a good kisser?" Hyunjin asked, still not bothering to look at you.

You stopped in your tracks just as you were about to cross the door and turned around to look at him, finding yourself at a loss of words — completely taken aback by his bold question.

"What?"

"You enjoyed the kiss?" he rephrased it, finally turning around and looking at you as he took a sip of his drink.

"Why are you asking me this?" your voice faltered. "Shouldn't you be with your date?"

Hyunjin snorted. "Had you stayed one more second when we greeted and had you let me explain, you would've known by now that I came on my own and it was Changbin hyung's date who snuck me in".

The relief you felt at that made you mad at yourself all over again. It shouldn't matter who he came here with, nor who invited him in. You weren't supposed to care. You weren't supposed to feel your heart so at ease over this.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, though…"

"Don't I?" he tilted his head, placing his cup on the counter and walking towards you. "Why did you bring my supposed date up then?"

Looking up at him, you were once again at a loss of words. You couldn't give him a proper answer, not without letting him know you still cared. So, you said nothing, instead shaking your head before you walked right past him and out of the kitchen.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"We're not gonna talk about it?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels as soon as you entered the living room looking for Heesung.

"There is nothing to talk about" you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.

Looking around for a second, you poundered your options. Going to the couch by the corner that had a free spot would only draw attention, as you were sure Hyunjin would not give it up just because there were people around. Going to the backyard would be pretty much the same.

Your eyes went up to the main staircase and then to the second floor, and that was all it took for you to go for it.

"No?" he followed you up the stairs, reaching for your hand and pulling you back towards him as soon as you were in the hallway. "So kissing another guy right in front of me is nothing now?"

You scoffed. "Why do you even care?"

"I thought it was obvious?"

"It's not" you answered coldly, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

"Think again then".

You shook your head in defeat. "Is it because it's Heesung?"

That had seemed to catch him by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Are you mad that I kissed someone else in front of you or are you mad that it was Heesung?"

Hyunjin scoffed. "You could've kissed some complete stranger and I would've been just as hurt".

Hurt. Hurt.

He said hurt. Not mad, not annoyed, but hurt.

For the first time in a while, you felt yourself being delusional and allowing yourself to believe he did feel something for you. Something more than simple care. Something more than the selfish need to have your undivided attention all on him.

That simple use of words of his had been able to make you feel the hope you no longer thought you had by now.

"Y/N?" Hyunjin snapped you out of it. "Are you even listening to me?"

You bit the inside of your cheek, hesitating before you spoke. "I don't get you, Hyunjin".

"What is it that you don't get?"

"Why you're acting like this…"

"Because you kissed another guy" he repeated, and you could tell he was beginning to lose his temper.

"That's not—" you sighed. "Okay, so I kissed another guy. I kissed Heesung. I did. But as opposed to what, kissing you?"

Hyunjin's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You're talking like I cheated on you somehow" you pointed out. "You're mad that I kissed someone who was not you, but it's not like we're kissing either?"

"Do you want us to kiss?"

It was now your turn to scoff, staring at him incredulously for a moment before you tried to walk past him once again and go down the stairs.

"Y/N, wait" he stopped you once more, holding you by your shoulders.

"You just can't be serious for shit, can you?" you snapped, shoving his hands away from you.

"I am serious!" he exclaimed. "I am serious, Y/N. I'm just so fucking conflicted right now because I literally saw you with someone else and I'm trying to win you back here—"

"Win me back?" you whispered, inaudibly to him.

"But there are so many thoughts running through my head right now I can't think straight, like, do you like him? Did you feel something when you kissed him? Does he like you? Is he a better kisser than me?"

"Hyunjin…"

"Because I don't think he could be. He isn't, right? Is he?"

"You can't just ask that" you frowned. "Why would it even matter anyway".

"It just does…"

"I don't go around asking you if all the girls you've kissed apart from me are better than me".

"You could" he shrugged.

"What?"

"You could ask me. And I'd say you in a heartbeat".

"Hyunjin—"

"You are better than them, Y/N".

"Hyunjin".

"I'm serious" he stated. "There's a reason I kissed you pretty much every time we saw each other. It's different when there are feelings involved".

You scoffed, rolling your eyes before you looked away. "Glad you could tell how head over heels I was for you".

"I'm talking about me".

You froze.

Silent, still. Eyes looking for some kind of amusement in his — anything that would hint at his words being a joke. Just one mean, fucking cruel joke.

You found nothing.

"W-What?"

"I'm talking about my feelings, not yours".

"You—No. Feelings? No, you can't do this again".

"Y/N..."

"You can't mess with my head all over again, I thought we were past this".

"We will never be past this," he denied. "Not until you listen to me and actually believe what I've been trying to tell you for a while now".

"And what is it that you've been trying to tell me now?"

Hyunjin sighed, nervously looking around and only then hitting him that the two of you had been in the hallway all along. Although it was pretty much isolated, apart from the couple in their own world a couple of meters away, he felt shy all of a sudden. Especially since anyone could walk up the stairs any minute.

"Not here" he mumbled.

Staring at his hand on yours the next second, you let him guide you through the hallway in search of an empty room the two of you could talk inside of — without other people possibly watching or even overhearing everything you had to say.

It only took opening three doors and coming across two locked ones to finally find an empty bedroom.

Walking inside, you were thankful by the fact that a small lamp remained turned on by the nightstand, providing you both with some much needed —dim— light, as you had been too busy pulling your hand out of his grasp and Hyunjin too busy closing the door behind you to bother looking for a light.

"So?" you pushed it. "Are you telling me what's going on?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying, Y/N. It's not easy for me".

"That's what you said last time" you reminded him. "I don't know, Hyunjin. I'm trying to be understanding here and be friends again but you keep pulling this kind of stuff and honestly by now I feel like maybe this is all about attention".

"Attention?"

You nodded. "You had never been interested in me until I started hooking up with Binnie. And now you started being all sweet to me and getting jealous all over again when I started hanging out with Heesung".

"It's not like that…"

"Then how is it like?" you crossed your arms over your chest. "Because it really does look like I'm some kind of game to you".

"You're not just a game to me, Y/N. You're so much more, I—" he exhaled shakily. "Okay, yes, I started showing interest after you and Bin hyung started hooking up, there's no denying it, but I kinda needed that to realise that I wanted to be with you".

"You didn't want to be with me, though…" you mumbled. "Not seriously, at least. That's the point".

"Yes, I did" he confessed, and you felt as if your heart had stopped for a moment. "I did, Y/N. I was just too much of an idiot to realise".

"You don't…" you sighed. "No, what are you saying?"

"I want to be with you, Y/N. For real".

Your whole body stilled and your knees went weak, needing to lean back against the door for some kind of support.

You could not believe your ears. He could not be serious, could he? He was joking. This was all some kind of mean, mean joke. It had to be. Wasn't it?

"Can you say something?" he nervously whispered.

"You don't mean that…"

"I do mean it. I had never meant anything else as much as I mean this".

"Do you realise your timing?" you recriminated him, finally snapping out of it. "Like, you do realise how much of a joke this sounds like right now, don't you?"

"Why would I be joking about something like this?"

"I don't—I don't know…" you shook your head, unconsciously taking a step back. "It does sound to me like you only want to make sure I don't get over you and move on to someone else".

"You really think that low of me?" Hyunjin questioned, eyebrows furrowing not really in offense, but hurt instead. "You genuinely believe I'm doing this out of attention?"

You remained silent, much to his dislike.

"You really think I'm doing this to keep you wrapped around my finger? Seriously, Y/N?" he questioned. "All the sweet words? All the art studio visits? All the times I try to hang out with you alone or just talk to you? All the times I've gotten so obviously jealous? You really think I'm doing it all to play with you?"

You shrugged, not daring to look him in the eye as you replied, "I don't know when it comes to you anymore…"

That had felt like a punch in the gut for him, finding himself leaning back as he took a shaky breath. "Wow…"

"I'm just saying, you did all those things before too and you didn't want a serious relationship, how am I supposed to know it's any different now?"

"Because it just is!" he threw his head back in frustration. "I wanted a relationship with you too back then but I was too stupid to realise it. I wanted to be with you at all times, I wanted to kiss you, I wanted you all to myself. I didn't even care about going to someone else to hook up with but I still made myself believe I did just because I was too scared to admit to myself that I was falling for you".

"Hyunjin—"

"No, you're listening to me now" he cut you off, decided to get his point across and determined to make you hear him out. "I know the timing could not be any more shitty and that it seems like I'm doing this just because I want you to only ever have eyes for me, and yes, I do want you to only ever have eyes for me, but not for the reason you're imagining. I want you to only be into me because I too am only into you".

You snorted, incredulously rolling your eyes as you backed away and tried to reach for the doorknob. At that, Hyunjin pressed his hand against the door — his strength overpowering you and forbidding you from opening it. The way his face was now inches away from yours as he cornered you against the only exit you had, however, had been enough to keep you still and stop fighting him right away.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I am only into you?" he mumbled this time.

"I, I just—I don't," you struggled to get the words out of your mouth. "You literally said that you didn't think you'd ever be able to give me the relationship I was expecting from you, that you wanted to be free and—"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I was just being stupid?" he repeated. "What I wanted was right there in front of me and I was too much of an idiot to see it, until I eventually lost you and what we had and it hit me".

"And how do I know you won't go back to wanting to be free and sleep around after we get back together? How do I know this is what you truly want and not just you wanting what you can't have?"

"Because I have feelings for you!"

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Feelings. Feelings.

His feelings. For you.

Although he had hinted at it minutes ago when he was recriminating you for kissing Heesung, you had chosen not to believe your ears. He had not meant it like that, as far as you knew.

But now he had said it, word by word. He had looked at you straight in the eye and told you he had feelings for you. Actual romantic feelings for you. And he wanted to act on them now, as opposed to months ago when he claimed to like you one hell of a lot yet didn't feel like being in a relationship with you.

You remained frozen, quiet — scared of moving, even. Feeling like your voice would fail you the moment you opened your mouth to speak.

"You what?" you whispered, weakly.

"I have feelings for you, Y/N" Hyunjin said once again, calmer this time, yet somehow determination being clearer in his voice. "It took me way too long to realise, but there's a reason I couldn't let go of you even after you wanted nothing to do with me. There's a reason what we had was so close to an actual relationship to begin with. There's a reason I hate to see you and Heesung together now, and why it hurt so fucking much to see you kiss him that I had to physically leave the room or I would've either broken down or beaten him up right there".

"I didn't…" you took a deep breath. "I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't do it to spite you…"

"I get that, Y/N, but it fucking hurt. It fucking hurt so much, more than I could've ever imagined. I really wanted to pull you away from there and to be the one to kiss you instead. Because I do have feelings for you. And that is the exact reason why I won't go back to wanting to sleep around," he leaned in, softly resting his forehead on yours. "I only want to be with you. I mean it".

"You do?" you whispered, already feeling yourself melting under his simple touch.

"I do," he confirmed in a heartbeat. "Fuck, baby, I want to be with you so bad".

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of the pet name you had not heard in so long.

"Hyunjin…" you pouted. "Don't play with me".

He took a deep, shaky breath, bringing his thumb up to trace your bottom lip. "I'm not playing," his eyes travelled back up to your eyes. "You're driving me crazy, Y/N. I don't know what else to do for you to believe I'm serious about us".

Us. Us.

You could've screamed right then and there if it weren't for the fact that your voice was failing you when you needed it the most.

You couldn't believe just how weak you were still when it came to him.

"I'm just… so confused, Hyunjin…"

He nodded understandingly, letting out a heavy sigh as he tried to compose himself as well. "I get that it's all very confusing and hard to believe, but I'll do anything if it means you'll believe me" he whispered, gently bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I do mean it when I say I want to be with you, Y/N. Only you".

Too stunned to say anything, you nodded — gently, almost invisibly, as right then you weren't sure of anything. It was a dream, as far as you knew.

But it was a dream you didn't want to wake up from.

"Okay…" you whispered.

"Okay?" he asked, hope clear in his voice.

"You can… show me that you mean it…"

Hyunjin smiled brightly, his eyes turning into two crescent moons as he tried to process your words. "You're serious?"

"Mhm…" you softly nodded. "If you fuck up again after this… I won't be able to give you any more chances, though…"

"I won't," he promised. "I won't, I—fuck, I'm so happy" a breathy laugh escaped his mouth, making your heart flutter as you watched him try to compose himself.

You couldn't help the small smile that had curved up the corners of your lips at the sight of his own, closing your eyes when he once again rested his forehead on yours and lovingly bumped your nose.

Looking down to your mouth for a second, his uncertain eyes were back up on yours. "Would I be an asshole if I kissed you right now?"

You shook your head no, maybe a little too quickly for your own liking. As much as you had tried to deny it, to push such thoughts away, you wanted him to kiss you.

You needed to feel his plump, cloudlike lips on yours again. Right then, as you had them only a centimeter away from yours, and as you could feel his hot breath hit your mouth, you felt like you would die if you didn't get a taste of them.

Thankfully, you didn't need to reach such an extent, for Hyunjin himself felt like he would die if he didn't feel your mouth against his right at that moment, and so your shake of head was all he needed to close the small space the two of you were going insane over.

You had not forgotten how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours, but as his lips opened ever so slightly to press deeper against yours, you could only realise just how fucking much you had actually missed it.

It was needy, messy, different to every other kiss you had shared before — even during your make out sessions. Your breathings not taking long to become heavier and have you gasping for air. It almost felt like you would die the moment your lips pulled away from each other.

Having his tongue massage yours the way only he could and biting on your bottom lip like he knew it drove you crazy, you couldn't stop the small hum that escaped your mouth, feeling yourself getting drunk on the touch and taste of him.

Hyunjin smiled, hands tightening on your hips to pull you as close as he could to him, before they traced their way up your back and pressed your chest to his — letting out a heavy yet blissful sigh when you took his look for closeness one step further by tightening your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.

"Fuck, you're driving me crazy" he mumbled against your lips, feeling you chuckle in between the kiss in response.

Air no longer seemed like a necessity, both of you being too long gone to even think of breaking the contact between your mouths. Instead, Hyunjin's hands travelled down to your lower back to pull you closer, as he had felt you move slightly away from him and he was not having it.

Missing the touch of his right hand on your lower back the next second, however, you whined, earning a breathy laugh from him against your hot mouth. That's when you heard the lock of the door twist behind you, and suddenly it made sense why his hand had abandoned the comfort of your body.

Not giving you time to react, the same hand of his you had whined about now travelled further down to the back of your thigh, pulling it up around his waist before his other hand joined and he lifted you up. You smiled in between the kiss, helping him by wrapping your legs around him as he adjusted himself in between them and held you up against the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" you teased him, barely catching your breath.

"Nothing yet" he smirked, sucking on your bottom lip.

You smiled, leaning down to trap his bottom lip in between yours and then pulling at it with a soft bite. "And what's stopping you?"

Groaning at both your words and the pressure your teeth were applying on his flesh, he went back to suck on your lip — his hot tongue tracing over it before it opened its way into your mouth and was gladly met by yours.

A small, barely audible moan escaped your mouth when your body slid slightly down and the friction against his sent a wave of pleasure to your inner thighs. So quiet, that he wouldn't have heard it had he not been kissing you right then, unintentionally muffling out that one sweet sound of yours he wanted to hear the most.

Wanting to hear more of it, he tightened his hold around your waist, so he could let one of his hands travel down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze and not letting go until he reached the king bed, where he gently laid you down on, and wasted no time to be right back on your lips.

"You're not drunk, are you?" he wondered, tenderly caressing your waist.

You shook your head no, resting a hand on his cheek. "I wasn't that into gossip to drink as many shots as everyone else".

Hyunjin chuckled, stealing a lingering kiss from you. "You won't hate me in the morning then?"

You bit your bottom lip, anticipating what was about to happen with just that simple question of his. "I won't".

"Promise?" he mumbled, slowly brushing his lips on yours.

"Promise" you smiled, pulling him down by his collar and trapping his bottom lip in between your needy ones.

Not letting go of the white fabric of his shirt, you began to slowly unbutton it down — one button at a time, slowly enough to drive him crazy.

Neither you bothered taking it off, nor did he bother removing it. You just stared, running your fingertips over the uncovered skin of his toned chest and smiling at the visible goosebumps your touch alone had provoked on him.

"Don't be a tease" he warned, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

"I'm just touching you..."

"Exactly".

A small giggle escaped your mouth at his answer, feeling him smile against your skin before he placed an open mouth kiss to it. And then another. And another. Sucking on your flesh in such a way you would be surprised if you didn't walk out of there without a purple mark on it.

Just as his hand was placed on your waist to keep you in place and your breathing became heavier, his kisses began moving down to your chest, leaving a trail of them all the way from your neck to your shoulder, where he stopped for a moment to pull down the sleeve of your dress so he could press a wet kiss directly to your skin. He then moved to your collarbone, loving the way he could already feel your chest heavily move up and down before he could even get to it.

And then he moved down to your cleavage.

Holding the first button of your dress in between his fingers, he looked up at you, asking for permission before carrying on. At a loss of words, you nodded, feeling your body heat up when he undid the first one and moved onto the second one — and so on until he stopped right above your belly button.

He couldn't help but admire you, not needing to undo any more buttons right then as he had you lying down with nothing but a black bralette covering your chest. Leaning down to plant a kiss to your addictive mouth, he couldn't help his hand from grabbing one of your breasts, feeling himself grow hard at the sound of the small gasp you had just let out against his lips.

Using his knee to pull your legs apart, he lied in between them, slowly thrusting against your core as he squeezed your breast once again. This time, you couldn't help the moan that had slipped right past your lips, as you felt him hard against the one place where you needed him the most.

Hyunjin smirked, kissing you harder and muffling out another moan of yours after he thrusted once more, harder as well.

"Fuck, baby" he breathed out. "You're driving me crazy".

"I should be the one saying that…" you confessed.

He chuckled, leaning down to devour your mouth like his life depended on it. Letting go after what felt like too short of a time for your liking, he went back down to your chest and bagan peppering a few kisses on the uncovered skin. A small groan left his throat when his kisses moved further down and his lips were met no longer by the softness of your naked body, but with the fabric of your bralette instead.

Barely detaching his mouth from the spot he had been teasing, he pulled your bra down to uncover one of your breasts and wasted no time to wrap his mouth around your nipple. It hardened at the first touch of his, feeling him smile against your flesh right before he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud.

Your breathing became heavier, chest tremblingly moving up and down as he continued his ministrations — bringing one of your hands to your unattended breast so you could touch yourself. Only Hyunjin didn't let you, grabbing your fingers right as they grazed over your bra and pulling your hand down on the mattress.

"I'm the one touching you, baby" he gazed up at you, just like that having you obey him.

Without another word, he pulled the remaining cup down as well to release your other breast and give it the attention you had silently been begging for, not forgetting about the one he had been sucking on previously, as he gave it a slow squeeze before he pinched your already sensitive nipple.

You writhed underneath him, lifting your hips up to rub against his erection and get some of the friction you so desperately needed. Hyunjin didn't fight it, instead pressing a hand down on your waist to keep you still as he grinded on you just the way you wanted him to.

"Hyunjin… fuck".

Grinning against your chest, he let go of your now over-sensitive bud and traced his fingertips all the way down to your thighs instead. He teasingly rubbed his thumb right beside your inner thigh, without really touching you where you were desperate for him to touch you.

When a pretty whine of yours reached his ears not even three seconds later, however, he decided to stop your torture. Gently palming your core over your panties, he felt himself grow harder over how much more wet than he had expected you actually were.

"Fuck," he groaned, running two of his fingers up and down your slit over the damp fabric. "Can't wait to be buried deep inside you".

You whined under your breath, that thought alone having you trying to squeeze your legs together, in desperate need to release the sudden itch in between them. Noticing this, as you had failed ever so miserably given that he was in between your legs, stopping you from pulling them back together, Hyunjin took it upon himself.

Leaning down to crash his mouth on yours, parting your lips with his tongue as he searched for the touch of yours, he pulled your panties aside, earning a melodic whimper from you the moment those same fingers than had been touching you over the thin fabric before were now running up and down your wet folds.

"Hyunjin," you breathed out when he stopped right at your entrance and toyed with it, pushing one of his fingers inside you. "Hm—fuck, Hyunjin, don't tease…"

He chuckled, biting your lip before he pulled you into another kiss — curling his finger up as he softly pistoned inside your walls. "But I wanna take my time…"

"Please," you begged, feeling yourself clenching around his finger. "No teasing tonight, I just need you inside me".

"No teasing tonight?" he pulled away from your mouth and removed a strand of hair from off your face with his free hand. "You're saying there will be another time?"

You didn't reply, feeling the heat reach your face as the implication of your own words had just hit you. Hyunjin laughed breathily, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"Okay then, no teasing tonight" he gave in, removing his finger from you and having you whimper over the sudden emptiness. "But I still need to make sure you're wet enough".

"I'm already wet enough" you whispered.

He smiled against your lips. Fuck, he swore right then you could not look any hotter, and he could not be any harder.

"You think so?" he mumbled against your lips.

"Yes," you blurted out in a heartbeat. "Please, Hyunjin, just fuck me".

"Fuck, you're so hot" he breathed out, earning a breathy, contented laugh from you that was followed with a short kiss to his mouth. "You're on the pill, right?"

"You didn't bring a…"

He shook his head no, and you could feel him begin to panic. "You're not?"

"I am, it's okay," you reassured him with a kiss, gently brushing his hair back. "I just thought you'd at least carry one around at a party".

"I only came here for you tonight, and I wasn't being this optimistic".

"Mm… maybe we should stop right here then, to keep things closer to your expectations".

"Don't you dare" he warned you.

You chuckled, trapping his bottom lip back in between your mouth and bringing your hand down to his pants, palming his bulge over the black fabric and feeling yourself grow needier as a muffled moan came out of his mouth at the sudden pressure.

You had said no teasing, though. So, following your own words, you palmed him one last time before your hand moved up to pull the zip down. Not giving him much time to take in your actions, you took a hold of his hardened member and pulled it out of his underwear.

"Fuck," he growled, already feeling oh-so-sensitive under your touch as you began to move your hand up and down around his length. "You said no teasing".

"I'm not teasing," you breathed out with a small laugh. "But you can't fuck me with it still inside your pants, can you?"

Hyunjin's mouth crashed against yours. "You're gonna be the end of me, for fuck's sake".

Sitting up on the bed, he pulled his pants down to his knees, then taking a hold of your thighs and pulling you closer to him, making a rush of heat run through your whole body and up to your face when he removed your panties completely — even more when you caught his hungry eyes staring.

"Hyunjin..." you called his name when he could not stop himself from touching you.

As if snapping out of a trance, he fixed his eyes on yours, allowing the curves of his lips to curve up as he leaned back down to hover your body. "You're so hot, how am I not supposed to—"

He was shut up by your mouth on his, muffling the following moan of his that ran past his lips when you took a hold of his cock once more and pumped it up and down. Cursing under his breath, he took over your touch when you guided him to your cunt, grabbing his length and slowly rubbing his tip against your slit.

"You sure you want this?" he looked you in the eye.

You quickly nodded, digging your hands under his open shirt and tracing your way to his back as you had suddenly forgotten how to speak.

"Words, baby" he nuzzled your neck.

"You just wanna hear me beg" you complained, feeling your heart race at the sound of his soft laugh.

"Tell me" he pushed it, aligning himself with your entrance. "I'm not fucking you until you tell me".

"Please, Jinnie" you whined.

"Please what, baby?"

"Please, fuck me" your voice could only turn him on more. "Please".

Hushing your pleas with a tender kiss, he held harder onto your waist, keeping you still as he was finally done with the teasing and slowly pushed into you.

"Fuck," he groaned into your mouth, as soon as his tip had slid past your wet walls. "Fuck, you feel so good".

All you could do in return was breathe out heavily, getting lost in the feel of every inch of his stretching their way inside you, rubbing your walls in all the right places as he bottomed out.

Rolling your hips up to meet his as you could only want and need more of him, you got a groan out of him, running your fingers down to his lower back and hinting at him to start moving.

You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan from coming out when he complied with your wishes — pulling back and stopping right before the tip of his cock could slip out, to then push all the way back in.

"Oh, my—" you gasped, placing your palms on his waist.

"Feels good?" he asked against your open mouth, pressing his lips to it after you had hummed in content. "Tell me, baby" his hips slammed on yours, making you whimper. "How do you like it?"

"Just like that" you whined, digging your nails on his flesh as his thrusts had become harder. "Fuck, Hyunjin, just like that".

"Yeah?" he smirked, pressing his mouth to the corner of yours.

"Hmm… feels so good".

That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

Smiling against your mouth as another moan abandoned it after one particular thrust of his, he pressed one last kiss to it before hiding his face in the crook of your neck, allowing himself to let out a groan when you once again rolled your hips against his and caused him to reach deeper inside you.

Chest pressing flat on yours, he grabbed hard on your thigh, removing it from around his waist and pushing it down against your ribcage. The new angle had you moaning and your walls clenching around his cock in a heartbeat.

"Y/N, fuck" Hyunjin whined, going up to rest his forehead on yours. "You feel so fucking good".

You trapped his bottom lip in between yours, entangling one of your hands in the black locks at the back of his head and pulling at them ever so lightly, just enough to turn him on even more than he already was and to get a raspy moan out of him — taking the gap in his lips to your advantage by sticking your tongue in it and being met with his responsive one.

Letting go of your thigh, he rested his hand on your ribcage, right under the curve of your breast, pulling away from the comfort of your chest so he could take a proper look at you and the way your body moved with every thrust of his.

"You're so hot," he groaned, rubbing his thumb over your hardened nipple. "So fucking beautiful..."

Throwing your head back at the pleasure, feeling your legs grow weaker by the second, you allowed a moan of his name to slip past your throat. That only had him leaning back down to crash his mouth on yours and grind deeper on you — harder, faster.

The sound of your hot flesh slamming against one another over and over filled the room, to the point you were thankful by the loud music that was playing downstairs and helped this bedroom become as soundproof as it could be.

Your walls clenched around him once more, as his cock had finally reached your most sensitive spot and the friction of his pelvis on your clit was starting to become too much, in the most delicious of ways.

"F—uck," he let out a shaky breath. "If you keep doing that I don't think I'll last for too long".

You bit your lip, feeling almost ashamed as you could hardly speak. "I'm not lasting… much longer…"

Because it was all too much. All the time you have had feelings for him, all the months you hadn't been intimate with anyone, the way he had managed to know just the way you liked it the first time around, the way his cock was rubbing against the one spot that could make you see stars in a matter of seconds.

The way it was him.

Everything was too much, and you were afraid it would be over sooner than you wanted it to.

Hyunjin's eyes softened, and a sweet smile curved up his lips — leaning down to kiss you gently this time. Cupping your face with his hand, he drew tender circles on your chin with his thumb.

"Cum for me, then" he mumbled against your mouth, bringing his hand down to your clit.

"Hyunjin," you gasped when his thumb rubbed on it. "Fuck, I don't—"

"Hm, baby?" he asked, thrusting into you. "You don't, what?"

"I don't wanna cum yet" you choked out.

He chuckled, feeling your body tremble underneath him. "Your body says otherwise…"

"Hyunjin, ple—fuck," you cried, palms pressing against his abdomen when he pounded into you. "Please, it feels too good".

"I know, baby…" he hushed you, not letting go of the pace he had set that was driving you over the edge. "You're driving me crazy over here, too".

Hearing the way his voice had halted, you could tell he was close, too. So, pushing your own needs aside, you began to roll your hips and meet each of his thrusts halfway all over again — no longer caring about coming undone right then and there, as long as you helped him find his own release.

"Y/N—oh, fuck" he moaned, heavy breathing mixing with yours as he let his forehead rest on yours.

"Hyunjin, I'm coming" you whimpered, feeling your back arching and your legs beginning to shake. "Oh, God, I'm—"

He pressed a kiss to your mouth, removing his hand from your clit and pushing your thigh back against your chest so he could slam harder into you — deeper.

"Let go, baby" he whispered, feeling his own orgasm approaching. "Cum for me, hm? Be a good girl to me…"

With one last thrust of his and with those last words being said, you couldn't hold back anymore — toes curling, legs shaking and nails scratching his back, as you hid your face in the crook of his neck and let out a cry.

Hyunjin couldn't hold back a moan at the mere sight of you shaking and coming undone under him. "Holy fuck, you're so perfect" he breathed out, holding onto your waist to keep you in place as he helped you ride through your orgasm.

Letting your head fall back down against the pillow, you looked down to the place where your hips met. Amazed by the way his cock appeared and disappeared inside you, you placed your hands on his lower back to help him reach his climax while you were still going through yours — throwing your head back against the pillow when his cock kept on hitting your most sensitive spot.

Just like he had warned you, your walls clenching around his cock would be what ended up sending him to the edge.

"Y/N, holy—" his words got caught in his throat, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he slammed into you once more.

One last curse abandoned his lips, and suddenly you were feeling his damp chest pressing on yours and his warm release being spread inside you.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Heavy breathings mixing together, Hyunjin leaned in to steal another kiss from your swollen mouth, not being able to stop a giggle from escaping his own and lovingly bumping his nose on yours, before pressing his lips to yours one more time.

"Fuck, I needed you" he exhaled, kissing you again. "So much".

You chuckled, gently entangling your fingers in his slightly sweaty hair and pulling him into another kiss. "I needed you, too".

Hyunjin's smile turned bigger, brighter, and you once again felt like you were in a dream when he cupped your cheek and tenderly caressed your skin. He looked at you like you were holding the stars in the sky, and for a second there you grew afraid — afraid of having let your walls down, more than you ever had before, to the point your mind was now making up the feelings behind his eyes to compensate for the love you still felt for him.

All your worries were quickly shut down when he pressed a soft kiss to your nose, then another to your forehead, and then one to your cheek, before he let his bodyweight fall on you, burying his face in the valley of your breasts as his arms snuck around your waist and pulled you closer than you'd ever been to him.

"You're heavy" you whined, with the exclusive intention of annoying him.

He didn't even budge. "You can take it for a couple of minutes".

Allowing the corners of your mouth to curve up into a smile, you gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his chest move up and down as he sighed contentedly. He had missed you playing with his hair. And you had missed feeling him melt into a puddle under your loving touch.

It was ironical, how that same day you had been beating yourself up over having flirted with him like you used to, even after everything that had gone down between the two of you and how hard you were trying to get over him, yet here you were right now, with your dress doing little to nothing to cover you up as Hyunjin lied on top of you — face buried in your chest as he tenderly caressed your hip under the black fabric of your dress he had previously pulled up to your waist, and your breathings synchronized as the two of you had finally managed to fully come down from your highs.

As ironic as it sounded, though, there was a difference between your flirting earlier that day and the intimacy you had just shared: You didn't know he had feelings for you before.

The main reason why you had beaten yourself up over having slipped up and flirted back with him was because you felt delusional. And how could you not? He knew you had feelings for him all along, you knew they were one sided, and you still had managed to make a fool of yourself by giving him just what he wanted. You had found yourself falling in his game all over again.

Only it was not a game to him. Now you knew.

A voice at the very back of your head told you that you should be ashamed, that you had given in too easily, but you couldn't find it in you to feel anything other than peace right then.

You had missed him. You had needed him, more than you could have ever imagined.

You had tried to get over him, you had really tried. But having him tell you all that, when a part of you still felt so strongly about him, had managed to make it all come back — every single feeling you had managed to push away. Just like that.

And maybe it was the hopeless romantic in you, or simply your love for him, that made you want to believe with everything in you that this time would be different.

You wanted, begged, to believe that this time around your heart wouldn't be shattered into one million pieces.

He had said he only wanted you, that he had feelings for you. Whether said feelings were love or he was just slowly beginning to get there, you wanted to believe they were true.

After all, he had said he would do anything for you to believe him. You were truly counting on that.

"Did you mean it?" you wondered, voice soft as ever.

"I meant everything I said".

You giggled, feeling his heart race up as you shook your head. "No… I'm talking about what you said about having come here just because of me…" you specified. "Was it true? Or were you just trying to make me melt?"

"I made you melt?" he looked up with a smirk, both proudly and teasingly.

"Don't" you whined, earning a giggle from him.

"I was serious, you can ask Changbin hyung if you want".

"What does he have to do with it?"

"I told you, his date was the one who let me in here. I had to beg him to ask her".

"That deep?" you taunted him.

"Laugh all you want," he dared you, going up to press a small kiss to your chin and then hover your lips. "Coming here was the best decision I could've made".

Not fighting the smile that had just curved up your mouth, you met his lips midway into a loving kiss. One that slowly turned into one peck after another, getting a blissful giggle from you as Hyunjin could not find it in him to entirely pull away just yet.

Once he felt like your lips had touched a fair enough amount of times to make him the happiest, he rested his head back on your chest, gently bumping his nose against your neck before he buried his face in the crook of it. Your arms didn't wait to wrap around him, holding him close to you as you found comfort in his naked chest moving up and down against yours with every breath you took.

The little utopia the two of you had built was disrupted the next minute, when a sudden turn of the doorknob had your heads snapping in its direction.

"Fuck" you whispered, trying to get up but having no success at it, thanks to Hyunjin's body on top of you. "Jinnie, get up".

He whined, only burying his face back in your chest. "They can go get another room".

"Hyunjin!" you whisper-shouted this time, hearing the doorknob unsuccessfully twist again.

"What, I'm serious" his embrace around you tightened. "This is my Y/N time, whoever they are they can fuck off".

As if on cue, the turning ceased. And you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the sight of the smile that had just taken over Hyunjin's face.

"Y/N time?" you mockingly questioned.

He nodded, no sign of his smile being erased anytime soon. "I said what I said".

You laughed under your breath, placing your palms against his shoulders so you could push him up and off you — only managing to make him look at you so far. "We have to leave".

He pouted. "So soon?"

You nodded. "We're literally in the middle of a party, anyone could walk in".

"The door is literally locked".

"What if Yurim comes".

He shrugged. "It's gonna be locked anyway. Plus, I heard she doesn't really mind having couples do their thing in here".

You rolled your eyes, both in amusement and disbelief. "You're a liar".

"I'm not!" he reassured you, yet the laugh that had followed his words was not very convincing of him.

"Mhm… if you say so" you teased him.

Leaning in to steal a kiss from him before he could fight back like you knew he would, you took advantage of the way he was too busy deepening the kiss and grabbed the hem of his shirt, swiftly buttoning it up until his chest was covered.

"Let's get dressed" you mumbled against his lips, pressing one last kiss to them.

Hyunjin sighed, definitely not wanting to leave you, nor this moment, anytime soon, yet not even dreaming of pushing your limits any further. Just having you this way right now, having had you as intimately as he had done minutes ago, was more, so much more, than he could ever have asked for.

Adjusting his pants and poorly fixing his shirt, he rushed to help you out. Your hands were already pulling down your dress so it would cover your thighs, so he focused on your chest, fixing your bralette first and then carefully —not to say reluctantly— buttoning your dress up. Lastly, he moved on to help you reach for your panties on the other end of the bed so you could put them on.

Once you were all done, he offered his hand to help you sit up just as he did.

"One of us should leave first…" you mumbled.

He nodded, quietly running his fingers through your hair to fix its messiness. "You can go first. I'll stay here and make the bed look presentable again".

You bit your bottom lip, feeling your face burn as you seemed to only then have been hit with what the two of you had just done. Nevertheless, you nodded, standing up and running your hands down your dress in hopes to make it look just as straightened as it was when you arrived.

"Okay, um… I'll see you around?" you tilted your head rather awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye now.

Letting out a chuckle, Hyunjin stood up as well and walked over to you — confidently pulling you in by your waist, so that your body was once again pressed to his and his mouth could brush over yours. "If you think I'm not texting you first thing tomorrow then you've got a whole other thing coming to you".

As much as his words had made you shy, you couldn't control yourself when it came to pulling him into a kiss by his collar.

Hyunjin kissed you back in a heartbeat, a smile curving up his lips as both hands cupped your face to stop you from pulling away just yet.

"Actually, I'm calling you later tonight to see if you got home safe" he let you know as he caught his breath, going in for another brief kiss. "Or maybe I should take you home instead".

"We're not having a second round" you warned him.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath. "No, it's not…" he shook his head, opening his eyes to meet your awaiting ones. "I meant your home, as in, dropping you off at your dorm. Although I wouldn't mind taking you back to mine with me".

You amusedly rolled your eyes, doing a pretty poor job at hiding just how hard your face was burning up at his words. "You're not taking me to either" you remarked, having him sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. "I need to go look for Nana, we came here together, so…"

He nodded every so softly — not being able to hide the drop in his mood. "Can I ask you to, like… do... or not do something for me?"

"What is it?" you wondered.

"Don't go back home with him? Or with anyone else for that matter?"

"You mean, going home as in…"

"As in the way you accused me of wanting to take you home" he smiled softly.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for another round with anyone else either after what happened between us" you joked.

"Shut up," he half whined, half laughed, resting his forehead on yours. "You know what I mean".

You smiled, leaning in to kiss his pout away. "I won't".

"Good" he smiled, too, stealing another kiss from you.

"But, Jinnie, you know…" you sighed, trying to look for the right words. "You know this doesn't mean everything is magically, one hundred percent okay between us… don't you? I mean, we did just—but, we're not…"

He nodded, with that simple act of his letting you know he understood. "I know. I have to show you I mean everything I said…" his hands softly traced their way down your arms, until they reached your hands. "But it's a start, right?"

You smiled, looking down at your hands as your fingers interlocked with his. "Mhm… I guess it is".

"I'll be better, I promise" his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. "I'm done being scared of commitment".

"I'm not trying to push you, though…" you mumbled. "I mean, I wasn't trying… if you're still having doubts—"

"I'm not".

"Don't feel like you need to stay, because if you end up changing your mind later on—"

He shut you up with a lingering kiss. "There's no changing my mind this time".

"I get that it can be pretty scary…"

"Not when it comes to you anymore".

Speechless, you stared into his genuine, determined eyes for a moment, while you tried to take every word of his in. Once you did, you showed him you appreciated his efforts by gently pressing your mouth to his for what could easily be the hundredth time that night.

"Please don't change your mind tomorrow…" you pleaded, failing at trying to hide just how heartbreaking that mere thought was to you.

"I'd be damned to" he whispered, sweetly yet reassuringly squeezing your hands. "I'm actually scared you'll change your mind tomorrow".

"I won't" you reassured him in a heartbeat.

"I won't either," he repeated. "So I guess you're stuck with me now".

"I'm not opposed to that…" you shyly chuckled, having his lips back on yours in a second.

Feeling his hands abandon yours to be placed on your waist instead, knowing all too well that was his way to deepen the kiss, you found yourself resting your palms on his chest to try and push him away before things began to escalate all over again.

"I should really leave now…" you announced, clumsily walking backwards towards the door as he followed without letting go.

"Just one more" he mumbled against your lips, sucking on your bottom one and bringing his other hand to your nape, to prevent you from pulling away just yet.

"Hyunjin…" you warned him with a smile.

"Okay, okay" he stole one last kiss. "I'm done".

"God, who would've thought you'd be so clingy" you pointed out in feigned annoyance, earning a proud smirk from him.

"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, baby".

Rolling your eyes at him, you reached for the doorknob, unlocking it before you finally were able to make your way out of the bedroom — not without first having warned him about not even daring to come out of there right after you did.

Although he would've loved to do just that and have everyone at the party know the two of you were together, he followed your wishes, only walking up to the door once you were out of there so he could lock it back. So that no one would accidentally find out he had, too, been in there all along.

Turning around and walking towards the bed, he was met with the mess you had made on it together, and he couldn't help the smile that parted his lips as the memories flooded his mind.

He knew sex was great, that was pretty much the main reason he liked being single so much — being able to sleep around with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But fuck, no one had ever told him just how much, much better it felt when it was with the one person you had feelings for.

It had never felt as good as it did with you.

It had never made him want to stay before. Stay all night if possible, like he had wished to stay with you — hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you, caressing you.

And that could only reassure him of his feelings for you. If anything, he was now realising they seemed to be way stronger than he had thought.

Covering his eyes, he slumped down on his back as a small giggle escaped his mouth. He was aware that he looked like a mad man right then, but the ghost of your lips on his and your hot skin against his was more than enough for him not to care about it and, instead, allow himself to get lost in the fresh memories of you.

He was the happiest he had ever been, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. To show you he had meant every single word that had come out of his mouth that night.

tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @kwanisms @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @moon-320 @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @kai-maree @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @mal-lunar-28 @littlestarhyun

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ ａｔｏｍｉｃ ｂｌｏｎｄｅ♡

♡ Pairing: boyfriend!mingi x chubby!fem!reader

♡ Summary: Comforting your boyfriend after he gets a new look gets you into trouble but the good kind.

♡ Genre: smut w/ a dash of fluff

♡ Word Count: 1.4kish

♡ Warnings: oral sex (m & f receiving), unprotected sex (ya'll know better), creampie, a lil spanking, scratching, nibbling, some rough play (nothing major), pet names (baby, my girl, etc).

♡ A/N: Mingi's wrecking me and I am not okay. Just FYI.

@anyamaris save me from myself

“You hate it” Mingi sighs, staring at his choppy blonde hair in the mirror. It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision to take a pair of scissors to his hair. He had no plan going into it. Only that he needed to do something…anything…different to get out of his own head. But you can see it all over his face that he's second-guessing it. Stepping into the bathroom, you dodge the clumps of fire-red hair scattered across the tiles, to get a closer look at your boyfriend’s new hair. “I love it” you smile sweetly, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet.

Mingi watches you in the mirror for a moment, skeptical. He tousles his hair, trying and failing to style it. “It’s okay. You don’t have to lie.” You grab his arm, turning him to face you. “Hey, look at me,” you say, momentarily losing yourself in those gorgeous pools of sable he calls eyes, “When have I ever lied to you?” Mingi cracks a faint smile, his lips pressed together to keep him from full-on cheesing. “Never.” You play with his hair a bit, gathering them into small spikes. “Exactly. I think it looks pretty hot. I’d definitely throw my panties at you.” 

Your comment gets a laugh out of him precisely as you intended. All you ever want to do is see that adorable smile of his. It’s your favorite thing in the world. Sometimes Mingi gets down on himself, wondering if he is, in fact, good enough in one way or another. When you feel that way, doubt weighing heavy on your shoulders, he makes sure to remind you how special you are. “Yesterday, today, and tomorrow” he likes to say. A small reminder that you were, are, and always will be perfect in his eyes.

Pinching his cheeks, you plant a quick kiss on his peachy lips. “Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, remember?” Mingi nods, feeling all of the blood rush to his cheeks. He turns back to the sink, rubbing his cheeks to chase that rosy hue away. “Anyway…” he mumbles, shifting his focus to cleaning up his mess. “Anyway?” you scoff, rolling your eyes, “I’m glad we could have such a touching conversation. I have to get started on dinner. I’m out of here.” You walk off with your arms folded across your chest and your nose in the air. As fake offended as a girl could ever be.

You make it a few steps down the hall before Mingi’s behind you, his arms around your chubby figure as he trails kisses along your neck. “What was that you were saying about throwing your panties at me?” You giggle, your body wriggling against his, “That’s what you got out of what I said? Really?” You never wear pants around the house, a habit he’s grateful for when he easily squeezes your fluffy thighs. It tickles enough that you twist away from him, stumbling backward. “Mingi…I have things to do!” He raises an eyebrow at you, taking one step forward for each one you take back.

“So do I.” “Aah!” you squeal, being pulled into an intoxicating kiss. Even with your eyes closed, paralyzed by the artful way his tongue dances with yours, you’re seeing stars. Holding you firmly by the hips, he guides you into the bedroom without even looking. Your shirt’s being pulled up over your head before you make it through the doorway with his following right behind. When he gets like this he has a one-track mind. Nothing else matters. He only wants one thing and it’s you. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you run a hand across his lean chest, the other palming his thick bulge through those godforsaken gray sweatpants.

An invention by the devil if there ever was one. Mingi’s knees nearly buckle from the unexpected friction. Each time you brush your palm against him he gets harder and the warmth between your legs intensifies. By the time his sweatpants are at his ankles, his leaking tip on your tongue, he’s throbbing. Placing your tongue on the underside of his head, you lick upward, collecting his precum on your tongue. Mingi pets your cheek, watching intently as you take him into your mouth, your warm, tight lips hugging his length with no room to spare. “So…fucking…beautiful,” he says, each word broken by the flutter of your cheeks.

There’s something about feeling the pulsing veins of his cock through your cheek, your head rocking back and forth, that he can never get enough of. You gag the tiniest bit when he hits the back of your throat, knowing how insane it drives him when you take more than you can handle. He can already sense that familiar feeling prickling in his stomach. Shit, why were you so good at this? Mingi grabs you by the neck, not too hard, just enough to rip himself from your mouth with a wet suctioning noise. You look up at him so innocently, proud of being able to push him to the brink that quickly.

“Bend over” he commands, your gentle giant replaced with something more domineering. You slide back on the bed, spreading your legs to expose your moisture. “Only if you say please.” Without a word, he reaches out to stroke your clit through the thin lace. Your breaths grow shallow when his fingers push the fabric to the side, sinking into you until his knuckles are flush against you. “Please” he whispers, rotating his wrist at just the right angle to have you pushing against him for more only to snatch his fingers away, “Pretty…pretty…please”. “Mmhmm” you whine, tossing your panties behind you and getting on all fours.

This view of you is so tempting. That juicy ass of yours sticking out. Your pussy so wet and desperate to take him. Taking a deep breath, he gets his head together. Not yet. A marvelous sting radiates through your body when he palms your ass with a slap, pushing you forward to lap at your entrance. “Mingi, fuck, yes” you’re moaning and he’s thrusting his tongue into you. He brings his fingers back up to massage between your petal-soft folds. Each time your body quivers, pert nipples dragging against the bed heightening your pleasure, it only deepens his hunger for you. The way he’s devouring you, drinking you down like a man who hasn’t had water in days, has you screaming every filthy word you know into the sheets.

Shit. Fuck. Goddamn it. Motherfucker. “Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me” you cry out, nearly throwing a tantrum, an explosion brewing in your core. You feel his husky laugh vibrate against you. “What was that?” he taunts, flipping you onto your back and climbing on top of you. You lick yourself off of his lips, dragging him into a kiss. “Fuck…me” you moan down his throat. He drives into you, your body immediately erupting into shivers as your walls clamp around him. Your world's shattering. Your heart's racing. Is he trying to kill me? The room’s spinning. You’re lightheaded. I might be dying. Worth it.  

“Is my girl gonna cum for me?” he’s almost singing, nibbling at your bottom lip. Your nails digging into his back is as close to an answer as he’s gonna get and it’s enough for his motions to grow harsher. Your ears are ringing, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Such a mess you’re making creaming all over him like this. “That’s it, baby. Mmm” he coos, keeping his pace even as the overstimulation tears you apart, but that doesn’t last long. Soon his motor skills go to hell and he’s pouring into you, whispering praises into your cleavage.

Your bodies go limp together, your muscles as strong as a pot of boiled spaghetti. Mingi flops down beside you, struggling to catch his breath. Out of the corner of your eye, you see your panties near your head. You pick them up, throwing them on his head. “There, I threw my panties at you.” “I’ll…treasure…these…forever” he pants, twirling them around his finger. You cozy up to him, resting your head on his chest. “You know, that’d be a nice color on you.” “Hmm?” You gesture towards your panties, “The pink.” Mingi stares at them, weighing his options. “Pink” he sighs, kissing you on the bridge of your nose, “I like it.”

[milo-manheim-luver]

The Night We Met- Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

summary: rafe thinks you two met at a party years ago, but finds out you two had actually met a year before that. but why can’t he remember? and what happened that night?

warnings: major drug use, drug overdose, angst, mentions of alcohol, fluff, ooc rafe, suggestive content and defs cringy at the end lol. also might be a bit short? idek.

a/n: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THE WARNINGS ABOVE don’t know how i feel about the ending but i’m gonna yolo it. thought of this idea/concept when i was listening to the song below:

“you know, i’m so fucking happy you said ‘yes’. i honestly don’t know what i would’ve done if you hadn’t” rafe spoke as he held Y/N in his arms, curled up in the bed at his father’s house in the bahamas. one arm wrapped around the young woman’s back as the other gripped her bare thigh against his hip. the young woman’s hand drew imaginary shapes against his chest before looking up into his deep blue eyes.

“i could never say the word ‘no’ to you my love. never. i’m yours. forever and always. you’re the best thing that’s happened to me and i’m so happy i’m finally a cameron” Y/N face cracked into a wide smile, as she continued to gaze into rafe’s eyes, as he broke into a rare, genuine smile. the two had just gotten married the night before, and were now just relaxing in the privacy of rafe’s, father’s home in the bahamas.

“im so happy we met. truly, i am. i love you baby” rafe whispered down to his newly wedded wife, moving his hand from holding her bare thigh, to push back a piece of her hair from her face, as he planted a gentle, but passionate kiss to her plump lips.

“i love you too hunny” she whispered as their lips detached from one another’s. “d-do you remember the night we met?” Y/N continued, swallowing the lump in her throat. she knew she’d have to tell him her secret eventually, and now seemed like the perfect time as they were about to spend the rest of their lives together.

“uh yeah… i think so? pretty sure it was that banger of a party top was having my senior year of high school. you had come to the party with sarah. you guys had only been friends for about a year or two by then? i couldn’t stop looking at you” rafe chuckled at the memory as he continued. “i got you on my team as we played beer pong… and we killed it. everyone else we went up against sucked so bad” rafe continued to hold her in his arms, looking down to admire the woman he’d just gotten so lucky to marry.

“uh… r-rafe um m-my love. c-can i tell you something?” Y/N stuttered out to rafe. she was so scared to tell him how wrong he was, but she knew it had to be done.

“babe, you know you can tell me anything. what is it?” rafe questioned, as his hand on her bare thigh, began to rub soothing circles into her soft skin.

“that’s not the night we met… um… do you remember that story you told me about your overdose incident you had when you were only seventeen?” Y/N whispered out, not wanting to upset rafe by bringing up a hard time from his past that he was never proud of.

“uh, yeah. i do. that night is kinda a blur still to this day. all i remember is doing a few too many lines and waking up in the kildare island hospital two days later. doctors said if whoever had made the call, called five minutes later i’d be dead. why?” he spoke softly, as he replayed the memories in his brain. he’s hurt so many people during that period of time. he wished he’d never even started doing the drug, but at the time he felt as if that was the only thing that could save him from himself.

the young woman began to shake involuntary, getting her lovers attention, “babe why are you shaking? did i go too hard earlier?” he chuckled out lightheartedly, trying to lighten her mood.

“i’m shaking because i feel bad for keeping something from you. and yeah you did go hard, but i’m not complaining…. but that’s besides the point. please hear me out and don’t get mad. i only did it to protect you” she rambled on as rafe’s facial expression changed from a smile, to a stone-cold look, going completely serious.

she took his silence and stare as a sign to continue on what she had been keeping from him for the last 5 years. “that night you overdosed, i had come over to tannyhill to talk to sarah about something a-and when i got there…. there was nobody home… u-until i walked past your room a-and you were just pacing back and forth like some crazy guy” Y/N sniffled out as she moved her hand from drawing imaginary shapes from rafe’s chest, to cradle his left cheek as she spoke.

Y/N had just arrived to tannyhill, as her and sarah had to start working on a school project soon. but as soon as she arrived to the house, it was completely empty. she was always welcomed in, even when nobody was home. rose and ward had adored her as soon as they’d met her six months before tonight. it also helped that Y/N family were close business partners with ward as well.

as soon as Y/N walked up the spiral staircase, calling out sarah’s name, to see if she was home, she rounded the corner trying to find sarah. instead of sarah, however she found sarah’s brother, pacing his room back and forth, mumbling words to himself. he’d seemed to be twitching, and almost shaking as he was pacing, alarming Y/N a small amount. she’s decided to step into his doorway to see if he was okay.

rafe’s eyes softened as his girl spoke of what really happened that night he’d almost died, nodding his head in her hand, signaling her to continue. “i approached you babe, and you started getting all paranoid, you were yelling at me, which i guess wasn’t that abnormal for you at the time from what i’d heard from others. you started marching over to me as you continued to yell, i think you were going to push me, but i don’t know, but then you just fell to the ground and started dry heaving involuntarily, as your breathing became unsteady. it scared me…. i’d never seen anyone like that before. b-but then y-you turned all pale and completely passed out. i-i didn’t know what to do so i ran over to you to see what happened” Y/N started to whimper, as a single tear fell from her tear duct, and rolled down her soft cheek.

“hey, rafe, right? it’s Y/N, sarah’s friend. are you okay? you don’t look too good” Y/N asked politely to the young teenage boy, who stopped his pacing to look up at the girl.

“who the hell are you? what are you doing in my house? huh?” the young man yelled, as he began to walk up towards the girl, ready to shove her out of his room, but before he could get close enough, he hunched over, involuntarily dry heaving, as his breathing became more rapid, drawing even more red flags in the young teenage girls brain.

his face started to turn as white as a ghost, before he ultimately lost consciousness completely, falling limp onto his bedroom floor. Y/N immediately ran over the boys sides to see what she could do.

rafe’s eyes began to water, as he stared down at Y/N, seeing her slowly crack and break down into his arms. something he had dwelled forever; seeing his lover heartbroken and distraught. he’d never wanted to see her this way. it ached him to see her this way, and to know he was the cause made it 10x worse. “b-baby, continue…. finish the story. i can take it” rafe’s voice cracked as he urged his lover to tell the rest of the story. he was in shambles at the moment, tears welling up in his eyes as they started to pour out one by one.

“as soon as i’d ran over to your body, i picked your head up, trying to talk to you. i was just trying to figure out what you had taken. but then i’d remembered hearing from sarah before that you’d been doing a lot of cocaine, but in all seriousness i don’t think anyone noticed how bad your addiction really was.” Y/N whispered out, as she relived that night in her head one more time. she soon continued, “i was trying to find a pulse as i still held your head in my arms. i could barely hear it, and your skin was on fire. i’d just assumed it was a drug overdose, s-so i called 9-1-1”

the young teenage girl cradled the young drug addict’s head in her arms carefully, immediately feeling the extreme heat radiating from his skin, alarming the girl further. why was he on fire? and why did he completely pass out? Y/N soon came to realization what was possibly happening as soon as she remembered the conversation her and sarah were having the week before. sarah had been complaining to Y/N about her brother’s ‘slight’ drug problem. the drug of his choice however had been cocaine. sarah was always telling her how everytime he’d do a line or two, he’d get extremely paranoid and more aggressive than normal.

“rafe, wake up” the worried girl cried out to the passed out boy. “rafe, what did you take? how much did you take?!” she cried out again, but no answer to avail. she huffed and puffed as she started to cry, trying to find a pulse. she could barely hear his heartbeat through his carotid artery. she could not be responsible for his possible drug overdose. she would not. so, Y/N grabbed her phone from her back pocket of her jeans, and dialed 9-1-1.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” the older lady spoke through the phone.

“hi, um i need an ambulance to the Cameron estate at tannyhill immediately! there’s a possible cocaine drug overdose! please come quick! i-i don’t know how much longer h-he will keep breathing” Y/N weeped into her phone, as she tried to keep her cool.

“ma’am, i need you to calm down. what’s your name?” the older lady asked through the phone to the young distraught girl.

“y-Y/N. what’s yours?” Y/N asked the lady.

“my name is susannah. Y/N i need you to tell me if they’re still breathing.” susannah spoke calmly to the young girl.

“u-uh yeah, it’s super faint though. is he gonna die?!” Y/N started sobbing as she continued to cradle rafe’s head.

“Y/N… do you know what possible drug they could’ve overdosed on? and do you know how much they took? their height or weight?”

“h-he does cocaine i believe. or at least that’s what i’ve been told. he’s uh maybe 6’2ish? i’m not sure. i-i don’t know how much he did though. i-i’m not sure how much he weighs but i do know that hes more of a muscular build if that helps” Y/N stuttered out to susannah, the 9-1-1 dispatcher.

“okay, Y/N stay with me. take deep breaths. help is on the way” susannah continued to speak to Y/N.

“y-you we-were the one who called the a-ambulance?” rafe croaked out to Y/N as he finally cracked. he was a mess. tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to hold in his sobs, but no longer could. he was so tired of fighting to not show any emotion, so he didn’t fight it anymore. he continued through his sobs, “y-you were m-my savior t-that night?” the young man was wrapping his head around the realization that his newly wedded wife was the angel that saved his life all those years ago when he almost ended it after taking too much of the white drug.

Y/N just softly nodded her head, “i was baby… i was. i know i should’ve told you sooner. but i didn’t, i-i wanted to protect you from knowing the full truth because i know you’re gonna beat yourself up over it. that’s how you are; you will get so mad at yourself for something you’ve done that you slowly start to hurt yourself. i can’t let that happen to you baby” Y/N engulfed him into a hug, as her arms cradled his head into her chest as he wept.

“as soon as the ambulance got there, the cops also arrived. i gave my statement and since i was under eighteen, for legal reasons, they never put my name in that statement. that’s why you never knew and why they never told you. my love…. d-don’t be mad please.” the young woman stuttered out, scared her new husband was mad at her.

rafe lifted his head from her chest, sniffling, “i-i could never be mad at you baby…. never. i-i wanna tell you w-what the doctors told m-my dad and i… can i tell you?” Y/N wiped away rafe’s tears that continuously leaked from his eyes, as she nodded in response, wanting to know everything he knew.

it took rafe a moment to compose himself then began, “when i woke up two days later, obviously i told you that the doctor said that if whoever hadn’t called when they did or even 5 minutes later i’d be dead. i never told you why that was”

“what do you mean my love?” Y/N softly spoke as she looked into rafe’s deep blue eyes, with a look of worry in her own eyes to know the truth.

“i mean… the cocaine i took that night had been laced with small amounts of fentanyl which is why i lost complete consciousness and almost stopped breathing. they had to give me three doses of NARCAN and wait for the best. my dad made sure to keep that part secret, because having all of his business partners know about my cocaine problem was bad enough. he didn’t want anyone to know i’d accidentally done fentanyl as well.” rafe sighed as he remembered the look on his father’s face when he woke up: pure disappointment.

“really rafe? really? cocaine overdose? laced with fentanyl?! how do you think that’s going to make the family look? huh? i’m going to have to pay people off from telling others. this cannot get out” ward went on to his son about how he’d screwed up. it’d only been a day since rafe had woken up from his small coma and ward was already being insensitive to the teenage boys drug problem.

“d-dad i’m sorry. i didn’t know how else to cope with my feelings. it was the only escape i had from feeling like shit. w-when i take it, i feel-i feel almost happy” rafe tried to explain to his father, who in return just scoffed harshly.

“rafe… you need to get your shit together. i’m so sick of you coming up with all these excuses. you keep this shit up and you’re out of the house. got it?” ward sneered back to his only son, who only cowered his head down and nodded in return.

“rafe… you never told me that. why?” Y/N asked sweetly as she continued to gaze into rafe’s blue eyes.

“i’m not proud of that moment in my life. i was embarrassed for so many years. my father paid off people from telling others. he was so disappointed in me. you should’ve seen the look in his eyes the day after i woke up.” rafe sighed softly as he spoke.

“hunny, i’m sorry you went through that. never feel embarrassed about your struggles. i hope you know that no matter what, i will always love you. i will never be disappointed in you. i know that’s different coming from me and not him, but just remember i’ll always be by your side” Y/N thought thoroughly as she spoke every word with love.

“after the overdose incident… and seeing how scared my sisters were, and rose, i wanted so badly to get clean but i couldn’t go to rehab because then word would get out and it’d ruin my father’s deals and business. so i had to do it myself. it took awhile… and it was hard. but i eventually did it. after meeting you, well, from when i thought we met for the first time, you gave me strength to stay clean even when i had the urges” rafe smiled through more tears as he looked down at his wife.

“my love, i’m so proud of you. nothing you went through was easy. i hope you know that. and i hope you know i love you so much and if you ever feel like you have an urge you tell me. got it?” she spoke softly as she still caressed his cheeks looking into his eyes and to his lips.

rafe leaned down, planting his lips onto Y/N, kissing them repeatedly, as did she, and planting one last kiss that was full of love and passion, then pulled away.

“i love you baby. you’re my everything. i promise to come to you if i ever need anything or have an urge. i promise to not hurt you like i did to others i love in the past. i won’t put you through all the shit i put everyone else through all those years ago” rafe smiled again down at Y/N.

“i love you too with all my heart. now prove your love mr cameron” Y/N smirked up at rafe as he chuckled loudly.

“your wish is my command… but are you up for it?” he raised an eyebrow in question with a smirk planted on his face.

“i think i’ve rested enough… just give it to me” she smirked as rafe leaned down placing his lips onto hers harshly, pulling away once more.

“got it mrs cameron. got it. i’m gonna give it to you now” he smirked as he flipped the two over so he was hovering over her again.

“love you” she smiled as there noses briskly touched.

“love you too, my savior. now how about some kids?”

tag list:

@slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover

[gabessquishytum]

I wanted to write a little something more detailed based on this lovely ask, so I did - I'm afraid it's not very much, ironically because I'm very much struggling with my own Hypermobility at the moment! But I hope it'll bring joy, nonetheless <3

Love is Stored in the K-Tape

(550 words, rated M, no major warnings apply)

“You know, darling, it wouldn't hurt you to buy k-tape in a colour other than black.” Hob muses – measuring up the tape against Dream’s ankle and then cutting the strip. Dream huffs, and kicks his foot very lightly against Hob’s hand.

“Because the supposed flesh colour is so close to the colour of my skin.” Dream's tone practically drips with sarcasm. And all Hob can think is – he's adorable. Beautiful. An absolute brat.

“Well yes, it would look more like orange against your skin. But the blue would match your eyes so beautifully!” Hob picks up the last strip of tape and peels the back part away. He holds Dream’s ankle, taking care that the joint is comfortable, and applies the tape to the velvety pale skin. A quick kiss to the joint seals the process. “There we are, love. Is that alright? Not itching or creasing too much?”

Dream rotates his foot and gives a regal nod in response. Both of his ankles are taped, as is the outside of each foot (this part is to keep his toes from popping out of place). His right knee has been decorated too. Hob runs his finger over each piece of tape, and then leans in to kiss each one too. Hearing Dream’s little hum of satisfaction after each kiss brings a smile to his face.

“Thank you.” Dream eventually murmurs, when Hob has finished the tour of his joints. He tangles his fingers up in Hob’s hair and tugs affectionately. “For all that you do for me.”

Hob crawls up the length of Dream’s body to kiss him properly on the mouth before replying. “I can promise you that there's literally nothing else in the world that I'd rather be doing.”

“Even so…” Now Dream is blushing, just a little bit. It makes him look delightfilly radiant. He nudges his nose against Hob’s cheek. “Perhaps. I am becoming spoiled.”

“And perhaps. Spoiled is exactly how I want you.” Hob is half teasing, copying Dream’s intonation and the seriousness in his voice. But really Hob is the one who is quite serious, at least about this. He likes Dream to have expectations and demands of their relationship. It makes him feel like he's doing something right.

Dream only says “hmph.” And goes right back to pulling Hob’s hair. Hob has never been more enamoured with anything. He may be, he is willing to acknowledge, a tiny bit obsessed with Dream. This is what he wants: to be allowed to care for his lover and to make sure that he can enjoy sex without pain. It doesn't seem like too much to ask for. 

“Darling.” Hob nuzzles into Dream's oh-so-soft neck, licks the flutter of his pulse, and fails to stop himself from smiling. “Do you think that I could make love to you, now?”

Another one of those beloved regal nods. Dream’s hand slides down from Hob’s hair to the pelt on his chest, and he tugs on that instead. “I will be most disappointed if you do not, after all that effort.”

Hob has no intention of disappointing Dream ever, let alone this evening. And so he sets the tape and scissors carefully aside, to devote every ounce of energy and attention to his unique and utterly perfect Dream.

[venusandsaturnsrings]

Okay lemme just

I have jjk brainrot and lemme just try to categorise my thoughts instead of letting them go !!!!!!!!

GOJO:

-Special grade teaser, this man will have you begging and edging you till you're crying

-def into letting you wear his blindfold, bonus if you're tied up

GETO

Pet play, corruption kink, need i go on- also if going with bottom Geto, def whimpers if you tug on his hair

MEGUMI

Purely basing this on an rp i had with a friend- lactation kink. Absolutely down for 3 somes with his SO + Yuji, we stan a bi king

SUKUNA

Blood kink, marking, anyway he can show off that you're his. Prolly bites you on the darn daily

MAHITO (making this extra long for you <3)

Hear me out- virgin but freaky AF

Watersports, spit, blood, cum, he's down for anything

Def has fantasies about carving his name into his fav human toy (you <3) preferably on the chest for all to see

Wil push you to your limits, prolly sucks at aftercare but can be bribed ibto beibg the best with it jn return for some new games and toys *nudge nudge wink wink*

Bonus-

Geeting double penetrated by Mahito and Foul Legacy Taru <3

IM LISTENING IM HEARING U OUT IM BRAINROTTING WITH U!! i’m crafting up a silly au where everyone lives and no one suffers and everyone gets to be happy and go to uni together and and and… so given that, i’m writing gumi n junpei as over 18!! crazy to think about but in canon time im younger than all of them… fucked up how time works huh… ANYWAYS���

includes: this is just general headcanons building off what you said my dearest + adding a couple of my own thoughts!! has Gojo, Geto, Megumi, Sukuna, Mahito, and Junpei bc he is so special to me <3 i am one of 3 Junpei kinnies on this planet i swear…

i’m not a major Gojo fucker, if anything we have hate sex that is fuelled by pent up arousal and being big time touch starved… but the idea of him using his blindfold on you?? oh dear oh my… it’s both a big step in trust and vulnerability. given that he finds not having his eyes covered to be immensely overwhelming, i imagine there’d be a strong bond between him and his partner to do this. he’s used to seeing you through the way he detects energy, it’s second nature to him, but he’ll never quite get over what it’s like to actually see you with his real eyes. his fingertips are shaking and he can’t seem to look at anything other than your face twisted in pleasure as he denies you your nth release of the day; it’s a carnal satisfaction. he tends to be very mouthy and loud whenever you’re going at it but with you splayed out in front of him like this, your body shielded by absolutely nothing, he’s rather quiet as he takes in every inch of you. it’s a form of depraved worship, in a way, that he feels so compelled to hardly even breathe to appreciate you and only you as much as he possibly can.

i’d be a liar if i said i wasn’t terribly down bad for Geto. long-haired men get me good and he’s no exception… he’s 100% into pet play and corruption you hit the nail on the head!! it’s half a control thing and half a desire to please, he doesn’t feel a lot of power over his life and being able to get some of that from what you two do together his cathartic. he’s partial to cat girls, having a little kitty for him to play with and to kneel at his feet brings him satisfaction like nothing else. Geto is also the best at aftercare!! he’s very tender in how he treats you, already having a nice warm bath and a glass of water ready… anything you need, just ask, he’d give the world to stay by your side as long as he possibly can.

prior to this ask, i’d never actually thought of Megumi before… but, hear me out, going off of his thing of sharing you with Yuji, i think he’s into being cucked. i’m sorry to be the one to say it but to my core i believe this is true and canon… when it’s just the two of you, Gumi has the tendency to get a bit nervous and lost at times so seeing someone he trusts so deeply take the reigns and really work to make you feel good without hesitation gets him going. sometimes he does get a bit jealous of the way Yuji palms at your tits or the way he gets you to squeal so loud but ultimately he knows you’re his. even if Yuji offered to snag you away, you wouldn’t accept because Gumi is the one you want (reassure him from time to time though). plus, after watching so many times, he gains a better grasp on what to do!! i think he also likes letting Yuji instruct him on just how to fuck you proper. <3

Sukuna… you are a man of many wonders and arms. he is absolutely the biggest biter of them all!! will use his normal mouth most of the time but really enjoys using his stomach mouth to nip at your ass when he’s plowing you from behind as the way you yelp in surprise never fails to get him going. he loves that having four arms means he can keep your hips still, choke you, and grope at whatever skin he wants all at the same time; there’s never a part of your body that goes missed. despite his claims of not caring about humans, there’s nothing that he loves more than having you dangle off his arm and getting to touch you in a way nobody else ever could. also, two cocks absolutely. prepare yourself to be stuffed full, he’s partial to having them both balls deep in your pussy.

FREAKY VIRGIN MAHITO IS REAL!! he’s all about experimenting so there’s really nothing he wouldn’t try honestly, it’s more of a challenge to convince him to not do certain things *shivers*… but that does come with a lot of bonuses seeing that he won’t write off anything so it’s free game for you!! odds are he’ll enjoy anything so long as he learns something from it, if it gets him off then even better. he’s naturally most interested in anything that’ll induce pain, emotional or physical, and things that allow him to be in complete control (submitting to a human? fat chance). Depending on how exactly he sees you, and how ooc you’re willing to take, you’re either going to be a good ol fashion pump n dump that he brutally slaughters OR you’ll end up being his forever pet that he won’t let out of his sight for more than fifteen seconds… both are a unique form of suffering but it’s Mahito, so there’s really no white picket fence ending option… regardless, prepare yourself to be used in the grossest ways. he’s got a particular fondness for watersports and anything that results in blood, with a preference for knife play and good ol aggressive biting, simply because he likes seeing you become a filthy depraved mess even when he’s being so cruel. i have a vague concept for a human au but even then he’s a nasty freak with no boundaries!!

adding Junpei onto this because he’s so dear to my heart and also the biggest incel. affection doesn’t come easy to him especially when it’s sexual, he finds being on the receiving end to feel as though it’s only because you pity him. try as you might, convincing him otherwise is going to take some time but he has no problem understanding his own feelings to be true although he’s shy… major panty sniffer alert, he’s too scared to actually try anything with you but he’s got his needs!! stealing a cute white cotton pair from your hamper is the next best thing to him and he’ll spend the next week with them pressed to his face whenever he’s alone, dick rutting into his hand messily. it’s subconscious but he also has a habit of stalking you around a little bit when he’s too nervous to actually talk to you but he swears it’s an accident!! he didn’t mean to learn your whole schedule it’s just that he sees you doing certain things more often!! he’s supposed to be on the other side of the city at that time for work?? you’re delusional, he was just… sent there for some sort of project, nothing weird at all he’d never!! huge whiner btw, babbles a lot when he’s finally fucking you.

[starillusion13]

Hi! are u still accepting requests?

i love your badboy wooyoung fic <3, by any chance could you write a Mingi x reader? where they're both dance teachers at summer camp and every one teases them but kinda enemies to lovers thats the main idea, you can add anything u want <3, but i i'm tired of the shy innocent reader i want tension >:(

I’m in love…

Pairing: dance teacher! Mingi x dance teacher! reader (ft. Heesung my love)

Genre: Fluff, Enemies to Lovers, summer camp au

W.C: 4.8k

Warnings: nothing major, just a story of two person oblivion to each other’s feelings and falling in love after a dance.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Note: Thanks for reading and reblogging. I appreciate all of your reviews and feel free to text me if you want. Spread love to others, not hate. ngl but my next fic in queue was again angst but I am posting this on @mymoodwriting her suggestion and as I love my bestie too much so I have posted this first.

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“Cheers for the winning team ‘Blockbusters’!”

The winner team cheered with the trophy in their leader’s hand and their dance teacher smiling widely with the students surrounding you in a cheering circle. All filling you with thankful and funny words making your smile wider. Afterall, the win they got was only because of you. You were the one who worked hard for the ideas and choreographies to be on the point so that your students could win the competition and then there was the result of the first week dance competition of your team being the winner.

Your youngest student hugged your side and some awed at you as if you were his older sister. You patted his head and urged everyone else to have their snacks provided at the counter as they already were so tired and hungry. The youngest one ran fast with his friend and you laughed looking at them all cheering and joking in their way towards the food counter.

The leader had already handed you the trophy and you stared at it in your hold. Their every achievement always felt like your own and it really feels good every time. Your dream to become a dance trainer at a big training company was slowly being achieved step by step. Small steps from these summer camps to state challenges and then country recognition and then one day, you will be a part of the dance trainer crew of your dream company.

You smiled to yourself and shook your head to dismiss the thoughts. Placing the trophy on the table as you turned around, only to come face to face with the man with folded hands above his buff chest, sleeves of white shirt folded till elbow and a denim bottom and striking the appearance with a black sunglass.

Always extra…but always perfect.

“Aren’t you too happy just for a win in a summer camp competition?” he asked you and walked towards you.

You glanced towards the cafeteria and smiled, “of course, every small thing matters to me. It’s not like if I want to do something big, it can possibly be achieved out of nowhere.”

He scoffed, “it was just a little competition. You haven’t won the state or country ones. Just among the few schools who gathered in this camp.”

“if it’s really nothing then why are you so pissed, Mingi. Work harder. Maybe next time, you gotta smiling in my position.” You smirked in the end.

He swiftly moved the sunglass from the eyes to place it on the head, revealing his droopy eyes and his intimidating aura shining under the fading sunlight. However, he pisses you off every time but still he is always the most handsome dance teacher among the five schools. No wait, Heesung is there too but that one is a one bid flirty player and you can’t act like Ms. Sana who would give a blind eye to his flirty talks and still appreciating his visual and dance moves. Mingi and Heesung’s group always comes the finale ones to compete against each other but this time, your group beat the second group and was the one to compete with Mingi’s.

“Don’t be proud so much. I will surely win next time.” he stated and inserted his thumbs inside the jean’s pockets on both the side. His every moment was being getting noticed by you.

“Let’s see.” You winked at him before turning back to pick up the water bottle. Before you could even get a slight tip of it, someone took the bottle and held it up. You rolled your eyes before going for another but he did the same thing again. You glared and turned to your side.

“What’s your problem?” you exhaled and licked your lips.

“what’s with that attitude, y/n? You know I’m already a part of training agency so as well as Heesung so don’t even think yourself greater than either of us.” His droopy eyes piercing down on you.

You crossed your hands above your chest and huffed in annoyance. You looked over in a distant place, keeping your gaze away from him. He was almost towering over you. You could feel his perfume directly and he was close enough than other times. But to your oblivion, his gaze was fixed on you, eyes scanning every little texture of your face. The tiny details of your make-up less features. Sweats lining your face and he felt an urge to wipe them off. He placed one bottle on the table to his side and offered the other one to you.

“drink it. You’re sweating and maybe thirsty.” He said in a monotonous way.

You squinted your eyes to judge his intention to which he just rolled his eyes, “are you somehow being a kind one, now? It’s very unusual of you.”

“Look y/n. don’t always get on my nerves. I was offering you this because you look like you can fall unconscious of exhaustion anytime. I don’t want to carry this weak body to the infirmary.” He almost rapped the words.

A frown appeared on your face, “weak? Me? Excuse me! but don’t think of me like Sana. I’m not that porcelain doll to break with a little push.” You snatched the bottle from his grip.

“then are you a dancing doll, y/n?” he laughed and smirked.

You hissed, “Mingi…”

“At this point, I must believe you both just find a reason to argue so that you can meet with each other. I am not surprised that I could find you guys here when everyone else is inside the main building.” Heesung’s voice coming from the way leading from the ground for physical activities. He was having a cheerful and flirty glint in his eyes.

He popped a chips inside his mouth and offered you one. You raised your hand to take it but the piece got taken away by Mingi and Heesung laughed loudly. You forcedly opened the sealed cap of the bottle and glared at both of them before gulping down the bottle, almost choking on it. The grip on the bottle was too tight, the victim of your anger.

“look, tell your friend Mingi not to piss me off everytime he sees me alone anywhere.” you said and started collecting your belongings from the table.

“my friend? Aren’t both of you friend as well?” Heesung asked and chuckled.

“Never!” “What?”

“oh Geez! Calm down. Don’t shout like teenagers. You both really hate each other. Anyways, y/n congratulations for the win. The dance moves and the centre choice were really nice. Your brain is sexy.”

Mingi scoffed and giving him a side eye, you replied to Heesung with a smile, “Thank you so much, Heesung. I’m glad you pointed out the main changes this year unlike someone who couldn’t even utter a simple congratulations to someone. Always a competitive one.”

“come on, Mingi. Kiss her and tell her that you really did love her dance moves. “

“yeah! It will be so nice to see a new couple in this camp.” Sana’s soft and cheerful voice neared you all. You looked over to her direction. She was already staring at Heesung who was glancing in her way. She pout and you shook your head in disbelief.

Them. not only them but other teachers present in the camp, even some older students urge you both every day to get together because according to them,

‘the people who fight on silly things are the real couples.’

How you despise this thought!

you grabbed your things and left the scenario with their eyes following your way. Heesung and Sana laughed but Mingi’s expression was serious, watching your figure intently getting away from the spot. He stepped forward when the other one stopped him and asked him to go with him towards the ground. He glanced towards your way but nodded to him and walked away.

He might be the one pissed you today but generally that was not his intention.

.

.

.

Usually, the camps last for eight weeks for your school and same goes for the other schools present there as well but this time, it would be more than just eight weeks and you had to meet him more than usual. You groaned at the thought before plopping on the bed. The dance competition held was in the first week of the camp and there would be many other activities and competitions everyday and even if there’s respective teachers but you can’t just be free from any schedules as you need to be the assistant in some activities.

Every year after you joined this school, you always looked forward to this summer camps because in your childhood, you loved spending your days in summer camp and after joining this school as dance teacher, you got the chance to relive your childhood days again.

But the second year, you came across this particular person while you were cheering for few students who were competing with each other in a particular water activity. Someone stood beside you and boring hole onto your side, you previously brushed off the weird feeling but then when you looked at the person, you caught him staring at you. You furrowed your eyebrows and scanned his face because you never saw him earlier during any other activities and there was no new school or maybe you had forgot the person. Afterall, you were new and still learning many things. You licked your lips and tugged your hairs behind your ear, before sending him a small smile.

“Are you new here?” his voice was heavy and his look was so intimidating that you felt so small in front of him but you stood strong on your spot.

You nodded and replied, “yeah…I joined last year. And you?” you raised your hand for a shake but well he just stared at it. You waited for few seconds but when he didn’t raise his hand, you curled your fingers and retreated your hand by your side, suppressing your annoyance in the fist.

“are you the new dance teacher?” he asked again.

“yes. And you are?” you asked in an unsure tone, didn’t actually feel like he would reply you but surprisingly he did.

“I am the dance teacher from St. Joseph’s ‘Sparkling’ Team. Myself, Mingi.”

Oh great. So this man is a dance teacher like you. Well, his physique and appearance really did give off an idol image and you wont be surprise if he is secretly an idol or a trainee.

 You nodded, “y/n, from St. Mary’s ‘Blockbuster’ Team.”

And that’s it. There was an awkward silence between you both followed by the cheers of the students who were splashing water in the enjoyment of their win.

You smiled towards them and clapped your hands, similarly Mingi smiled a bit too but he was staring at you.

.

.

.

The first meeting was usually a friendly one, maybe a not-so-friendly one but you were pretty much sure that the following events occurred after the meet was not in your checklist.

With passing of days, you noticed him more. He was a secretive person and even though he wanted something or wanted to express something, he would rather stay neutral in his expression but will encourage his students with warm and comforting words. Of course, him being the teacher of the opponent team sparked a curiosity inside you to know him better. Oh girl! How wrong you were that it was only you! But something similar thoughts came across his mind as well. Oblivion to each other, both of you started to get to know each other.

Starting from asking your colleagues or the close ones in the camps about each other then staring too long than usual and getting caught by each other. Bumping into each other and him blaming you for crossing his path. Well, it was all pretty much okay until you started noticing him around you more. And, people be enjoying such dramas a lot. They even started teasing you that both of you were attracted to each other but oblivion to your feelings.

“what are you doing here?” he asked you and with the tip of his boot, he played with a stone.

“I didn’t know you don’t have eyes to see. Maybe, you don’t have a brain to understand it.” You stifled your laugh and turned around with the mat in your hand.

He picked up the stone and threw in your direction. It hit your calve but it was too small to actually hit you painfully, but when you turned around to glare at him, irritated with his obvious daily mischievous acts, you found him smirking at you.

“I have my eyes on useful things not on these useless stuffs.”

“and, that is?” you raised a brow.

“why will I answer your questions, dancing doll?”

Dancing doll. Gosh, you hate this name the most. Yeah, your friends and colleagues sometimes love to call each other with few nicknames but his nickname, oh wait no no that’s not a nickname. He was literally mocking at you.

“I will turn you into a doll if you don’t stop calling me that name.” you glared and bumped his side before leaving him there.

He smiled to your act and whispered, “my eyes are always on you, doll.”

Whenever you both got to hear those teasing, your first move was to glare at him only to get a bored look from him. But are you really angry or just pretending to be?

Your pretending is not accurate then.

Same thing repeated in every summer. At this point, you were sure to throw him into water if next time, he irritates you again. You previously thought that meeting him was only limited to summer camps. But never expected out of nowhere, he will be in a common friend’s group. Yunho and Wooyoung both were your friends from the dance training club and when Mingi got to know that you are friends with his childhood friends, oh he got a damn excuse to meet you every weekend whenever you all made plans.

You were being caught staring at him a lot. Yunho even once tried to convince you to date his best friend because you were the right one for him and you threatened him that if he ever tried to convince you again then you will beat his ass. Or your usual sentence.

“Yunho, if you are so worried then bestfriends should help each other. Go and marry him.”

But actually deep down, you were freaking out with the thought of you and him together. You were sure on one thing that you did have a crush on him. Maybe not a huge one but almost like that. What about him though?

Oh about him? he might can kidnap you any day to keep you for himself. The way he glares at Heesung whenever he tries to flirt with you or tease you with sweet talks. The intrusive thoughts coming to his minds are dangerous but what can he even do? You are never his. But soon he will make it possible, not maybe apply those thoughts but to make you his.

.

.

.

Next dance competition was in the end of the month and you had already taught them some of it but still some more practices were needed. Meanwhile, the students had some other stuffs to keep them engaged as well, like water activities, group projects, social activities and so on. Your love for water activities led you to have some fun with them as well. You were enjoying with the students in the pool activities when someone splashed into the water. You shielded your eyes with one hand and watched the person. And it reminded you of the first day, you met him.

“wow! The dive was so cool.” A student beside you cheered.

When the person raised his head from the water surface and pushed back his wet hairs. Oh you were losing yourself with the view. His white shirt with top three buttons undone and the water making it teasingly see through and sticking to his tanned skin with the broad chest view. The whistle sound made every student to run out of water and the sudden push made you slip your leg and there was nothing to hold to make you still but to your relief, you didn’t fall. A strong hand around your waist, pulling your side to his front.

“are you okay?”

You nodded and tried to push him away but he pulled you closer with your back pressed to the marble edges of the pool with him too close to your front.

“why are you running away?” he asked you slowly and brushed your hairs out of your face. His every touch hitching your breath and you caught his wrist when it stopped on your cheek.

“why are you doing this?” you asked him in return,

He chuckled, “doing what? Tell me you are not liking this.”

“and if I tell you no, then will your ego be hurt?” you raised a brow.

He smirked, “my ego won’t be hurt because no is not coming out of your pretty lips. It’s either stupid things or fake threats.”

“I swear, Mingi.”

He laughed at your response. But your moment soon got interrupted by Heesung.

“look, I should feel jealous of you to get her like this but as I’m already being aware of your relationship so I will let you have your fun but atleast come out of the water and go to your room. Children might see these unholy things.”

Mingi helped you out of the water and laughed. Why is he suddenly laughing? There was nothing to laugh about his speech.

“look, Heesung. Stop day dreaming about your online stories every time. There is no relationship between us.” You said and glared at them. Heesung snickered and suddenly got a call, before walking away he winked at you. You raised a fist towards him and he shook his head before turning back.

“go and get changed.” You turned your face when you felt his voice too close. He was close, towering over you with his big frame, shielding you from the direct sunlight. You stepped backward and he placed his palm on your lower back and pulled you. You could almost hear your heartbeat in your ears and before you could react to it, his cold lips touched your warm forehead. His slow breaths sent a chill shiver from top of your head to your toe, curling them tightly. His lips murmured to your skin, “I don’t want the dancing doll to fall sick.”

 He quickly stepped back and walked away to the ground, leaving you standing there too stunned to even move. You hugged yourself with your towel and went towards your room.

WHY DID HE KISS YOU?

It was already late for your arrival because you were practicing the steps to students on repeat and soon, you all were sitting around the fireplace. That was a free time for everyone and each one was having fun with some jokes or showing off their individual talents. You were so indulged in your thoughts about the afternoon kiss that you didn’t notice someone sat beside you and staring at your side.

He pinched your cheek and pulled you out of your thoughts. Rubbing the stinging area, you looked at him with a frown, “what?”

“Let’s dance.”

“are you serious right now?”

“more than you.”

You chuckled and shook your head, “why? Do you want to show others that even if your team lost last week but you are still the best dancer?”

“maybe something else.”

He replied you too fast and your heart beat increasing with each of his words. The more you were staring at him, the more intense the effect of the kiss was tingling on your forehead. His eyes were hiding a desire, a passion behind those dark orbs, his hooded eyes curtaining away the feelings for you just for a while. Heesung’s voice broke your eye contact with him. Mingi was craving to see your shining eyes looking back at him. He was feeling loved just by your eyes on him.

You swear you would make Heesung mute one day.

“Well Attention everyone. Why don’t we have something interesting?”

Everyone cheered to his announcement. You rolled your eyes already knowing some stupid words coming out of his mouth.

That man be really playing the cupid everytime.

“Let’s welcome our two best dancers Miss Y/N and Dancing king Mingi. Cheers everyone.” He clapped his hand and welcomed you both to the middle. You parted your lips to protest only to see an extended hand in front of you, your eyes followed the hand to his face.

“Mingi…”

“Come on, dancing doll.”

You hesitatingly grabbed his hand and stood up and went to the centre. You were never shy in public but today somehow every stare was making you anxious. Your grip tightened in his hold and his thumb caressed over your palm.

“let’s begin…”

Inception started playing and he was standing to your side but he was facing back to the crowd and you in front. He placed one hand above your chest, hovering over the collar bones and slowly whispered with the song, “I’m in love….” His eyes were on you.

Your wide eyes stared back at him in shock but still managed to change your position to the next step. Now you both were in exact opposite posture. You mouthed the lyrics, “I’m in love…” and looked towards him. He smiled in return. He quickly sat on one of his on the ground and you sat on the raised knee for mimicking the exact steps from the choreography. You swiftly moved to the side and he raised his hand in air and stood up and bringing it back to brush the fingers against his jaw and your breath hitched with the next step. As soon as you both faced each other, his fingers softly leaving feather touches on your cheek before retreating away.

The dance continued with you both doing the exact dance moves from the choreography but in each chorus, you were sure you lip synced the line, ‘I’m in love…’ but he lightly sang the part, ‘I’m gonna chase you..’

In the end when you both ended the dance with staring at each other. Everybody cheered for the strong and clean dance moves. Every one was sure that day that you both are the dancing king and queen of the camp.

But you both were sure with your feelings.

That you both were in love.

.

.

.

“wait, I need to talk to you.” Mingi grabbed your wrist and you were surprised with his sudden move. After the duet dance last week, you ignored him as much as you could but being in the same building it was not much possible and also, when a cupid is roaming around you.

“What?” you glanced at your watch. It was already past ten o’clock and you were heading towards your room.

A group of three teachers laughing and heading towards your direction made him quickly pull you towards the corner and pushed himself along with you inside the room. He signalled you to keep quiet and as soon as the group passed by the door. He sighed in relief.

“was that pull really necessary?”

“No. but to get away from their eyes was.”

“where are we? Whose room is this?” you looked around and was panicking how you entered a stranger’s room until he walked towards the edge of the bed and sat down.

“this is my room. Welcome to my room, dancing doll.”

“Can you please stop calling me that?”

“Maybe…yes…no. Never.”

You folded your hands in front and glared at him, “and can I know why are we here?”

He didn’t reply but ducked his head down and fiddling with his fingers. You waited for him to say something but nothing. He was acting as if you were not even standing just in front of him.

“If you don’t have anything to say, then I’m leaving.” You said and turned back. But his next words made you halted in your steps.

“I’m in love…with you, y/n.”

Did he just confess? You didn’t turn around because even if you wanted to give some savage reply to him, you felt yourself on the verge of lose of words. Nothing came across your mind to reject his confession. Your mind didn’t even think twice to realise if he was joking or teasing you or testing your reaction to it. You gulped and clenched your sweaty palm.

It was because you were in love with him too.

Someone engulfed you in a back hug and you leaned to the touch. You held his hand in front and closed your eyes. You didn’t know how to react, what to say, what to believe and what to feel. But somewhere you felt happy. Happy because the person you love has confessed his love for you.

He inhaled the scent of your shampoo and whispered into your hair, “please say something. Please talk to me, y/n.”

“what do you want to hear?” you said in a low and slow voice.

“anything. Whatever you want to say but please don’t be silent. I want to hear you.”

You gripped his wrist tighter, “Mingi…”

“hmmm” he closed his eyes, his nose intoxicated with your scent and natural smell and your presence in his hold making his heart beat faster than usual and lips murmuring something into your hairs which you couldn’t even decipher.

“I love you, Mingi.”

The words he wanted to listen and he got to listen. He swiftly turned you around and smiled down at you. You never saw him smiling genuinely at you. Well, maybe he smiled like this before but you didn’t notice before. You didn’t think of it like this, the way you were getting lost into the smile.

“Do you really love me?”

You whispered, “more than you can even think of.”

“I love you, Y/n. you cant even imagine how badly I want to have this moment with you. I didn’t even realise this until the dance that day that I was madly in love with you for last two years. It was all about my love for you.”

He kissed your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your forehead and stared at your lips. You nodded but still he hesitated. You placed your hands around his neck and pulled him into the most awaited kiss, raising yourself on your toe to match his level. The kiss of initiating a bond, the blooming of a young love. The lips danced with the swift rhythm matching with each other, the way your body moved accordingly and blending with each other’s move to the song. There was a passionate love in the kiss, like the way you both had passion for dance.

Slowly retreating from the kiss, your heels touched the ground. He again softly pecked on your lips, surprising you. He was drunk with your kiss. You smiled at him, he cupped your cheeks in his warm hands, your fingers wrapped around his wrist.

“Mingi…I didn’t realise my love before that dance as well. Maybe the dance and the song has awakened the feelings inside us.”

“we both have a passion for dance and dance only made us realise our inner thoughts. You don’t know but I am so happy right now that I finally get to call you mine.”

“who said you can call me yours?”

“I said and that’s final. also y/n…congratulations.”

“ for what?” you asked in surprise.

“for the win. It was your first step to join your dream company and I promise you, I will make it happen for you.”

“We will make it happen. Together.” You smiled and he nodded and bend down to peck you again.

You slowly removed his hand from your cheeks and took out your phone to click open your playlist.

“what are you doing?”

You didn’t reply and played a song ‘white love’.

The room filled with the intro of the song and swinging your hands, you knelt down in front of him, “will you have a dance with me, my dancing king?”

“of course, my dancing doll.”

“you were supposed to say queen not that stupid doll.”you whined.

“well you are a doll. My dancing doll.” He grabbed your waist and you both laughed with your bodies swaying with the flow of the music.

Afterall it was both of your dream, every day and every night to be in love with each other.

[Thanks for loving the Wooyoung fic...I hope you liked this one.]

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn [open!]

[kamiversee]

The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.

The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.). 

Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)

(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)

holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.

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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)

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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.

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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl

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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.

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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^

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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.

"I made a mistake." [reader] 

"A good one." 

"Bad one." You correct.

this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.

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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)

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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?" 

The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16

THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')

"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21

AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.

You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense. 

Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much? 

If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23

i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!

the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE

"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine." 

...

You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?" 

...

 "Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused. 

There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.

of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK

——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.

BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin. 

You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question. 

"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.

this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.

chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;

the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)

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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)

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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.

no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID

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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.

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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him

then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…

the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.

WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.

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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏

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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.

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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)

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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.

the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.

the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT

Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna- 

Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-

GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!

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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹

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---

seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.

but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.

the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.

we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.

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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅

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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.

i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.

kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.

but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.

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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶

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---

okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;

Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.

we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?

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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D

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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.

what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing? 

┏━━━

A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.

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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.

the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?

what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?

regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.

to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)

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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟

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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)

---

but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.

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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together. 

┗━━━

it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.

---

my citations for these theories ☝️🤓

“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56

loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).

“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.” 

“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?” 

“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement. 

“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him. 

He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.” 

You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?” 

“Yup.” - Chapter 56

is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.

But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. -  Chapter 8

the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.

Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth. 

He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9

the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).

He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober. 

"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21

if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.

He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..." 

Your brows furrow at that. 

Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22

YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP

"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29

"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you." 

You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..." 

"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly. 

You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?" 

"You are." 

His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense." 

"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29

🧍‍♀️

anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.

"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person." 

"You could've prevented all this though..." 

Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30

this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.

"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you." 

Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him. 

If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.

COME ON NOW.

There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35

“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.” 

“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow. 

“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45

You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.” 

Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up. 

“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.” 

“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility- 

You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.” 

Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…” 

“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.” 

He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.” 

“But it’s true.” You say. 

And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46

if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).

He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53

then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).

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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3

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---

but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;

It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing. 

So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence. 

The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8

Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.

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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)

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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).

the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.

also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3

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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉 

┗━━━

there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.

so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.

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A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!

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---

regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.

yap fin (for now)

-☃️

A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.

This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)

To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)

Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))

P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!

[thedeviltohisangel]

All The Things I Did (2): It's All Around, It's All The Time

a/n: wanted to end with angst but i'll save it. send in blrub reqests for these idiots falling in love

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. All he had to do was ask. He had asked plenty of girls and women out on the town before. All of them had blushed and giggled and obliged with a twirl of their hair and a bat of their lashes. But this one. Cass. She was something else entirely. 

John didn’t ever think about deploying overseas resulting in him standing outside the mess hall, hat in hand and a bouquet of flowers sweatily gripped in his hand, pacing and muttering self-encouragement under his breath. You’ve done this a million times. You just ask. So what if she says no? There are a million girls trotting around here you’ve already charmed.

“Major Egan?” Shit. He had thought she was already in there, now he looked panicked and not at all manly. “Am I late?” She checked the watch on her wrist, knowing she would never not be on time down to the minute.

“No I thought you’d be early so I was out here talking myself into asking you to dinner.” There was no better way to say it than to just say it. He expected her to look shocked or abhorred. Anything but the look on her face that made it seem that is exactly what she was expecting. 

“Are those supposed to go with the offer?” she asked as she motioned to the grouping of wildflowers he had tasked the children who followed Lemmons around to help him pick. He held them out sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as she lifted them to her nose.

“They’re not much-”

“They’re lovely.” She smiled, a real smile, and he felt a weight lift off his chest and his own smile spread across his face in kind. “Is dinner here or somewhere else?”

“Was thinking somewhere off base. Show you the John Egan worth knowing.”

“You’ll pick me up?” He nodded emphatically. “Then I will see you at 6.” That would give her enough time to finish her work day and get physically and psychologically prepared for whatever John Egan had in store.

“I’ll see you then,” he spoke with a hint of reverence in his tone, unable to even blink as she held the flowers to her nose again and damn near floated past him into the mess hall. Yes. Something else entirely.

----

She was nervous and she hated it. Hated that she was fretting over a fly away piece of hair only visible if the sun hit it just right. Hated that she only had two tubes of lipstick to choose from and neither of them were the right color. Hated that she had only reconciled breaking the rules to sneak out in anything other than her uniform to avoid Major Egan looking at any other girl in a pretty dress.

“Lieutenant Cooper, Major Egan is here for you.”

“Thank you, Mary.” Cass squared her shoulders and took one last steadying breath. She had faced down much worse. German border guards. Handsy bankers. Her mother when she enlisted instead of marrying Sidney Landry.

“You’re out of regulation,” were the first words out of his mouth when she finally stepped outside. 

“Astute.” He opened the Jeep door for her, helping her in before rushing to his side.

“You look lovely.” He meant it sincerely. One of the most beautiful sights he had seen even before the war. And he was sure she would be even for long after.

The ride to a local pub was pleasant enough, John laughing at her earnest attempts to keep her hair in place in the breeze, making her laugh with her whole heart as he sang along to something on the radio. Sang or yelled, the verb was up for debate. He was a perfect gentleman, opening doors and pulling out her chair. 

“You’ve given me plenty of grief over my debutante manners all in the hopes of covering up your own,” she mused as he returned from the bar top to their table with a couple of glasses. Coca-Cola for her, a pint for him.

“I’m not a neanderthal,” he quipped back. John went to raise his glass to his lips when he stopped, her hand resting lightly against his wrist.

“Not before a toast.” She cleared her throat. “To kicking Hitler’s ass and looking damn good while doing it.” The beer almost couldn’t get between the lips of his smile. 

“You’re very surprising.” Cass hummed in acknowledgment. “I like it.”

“Like it? You like an ice cream flavor over another or you like the color of the tie your parents buy you for Christmas.”

“Well, love is a bit presumptuous, Lieutenant, but if you’re that taken-”

“Smitten. Tell me you’re smitten with me.” There was a dare behind her eyes. Daring him to dip his toes into shark-infested waters. 

“I’m smitten with you,” he relented. John thinks she blushed. But before he could tease her about it, a pile of fish and chips was being placed between them.

“Miss Cooper, I wasn’t expecting you tonight! I got a fresh batch of my sponge in the back. Make sure you save room.” 

“I will, Patricia, thank you.” John smiled at the interaction, enjoying this version of Spook. She was much more free off base. Captured the attention of everyone she came into contact with. He could only assume these were natural attributes for her job. Alleged job.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?” she asked with a pop of a chip into her mouth. 

“Wrap everyone around your finger in an instant.” He reached for her hand halfway across the table, Cass offering it instantly, filling the gaps in between her fingers with his own to emphasize the point. 

“I could give you the same answer I told an empty suit in Washington a few years ago but the answer you want, it’s something I think you have to answer yourself, Major Egan-”

“John, please, Cass.” He was drowning in whatever this was. Needed her to give him an inch just to stay above water.

“John.” He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles one by one.

“Again.” She swallowed, mouth running dry and eyelids feeling heavy.

“John.” He could feel her pulse in her wrist. Flickering quicker ever so slightly. He thinks he could lose himself in this game. Willingly go insane if it meant having her look at him like this. “I’m smitten with you, too.”

----

Somewhere between the fish and the chips and the sponge and the more than a few pints, John had decided those two bikes out front were going to be his. And they weren’t for sale. So he had to earn them. Why not have some fun in the process?

“Aren’t you going to tell him he doesn’t have to do this?” Cass had thought about it but enjoyed the look on Bucky-no that was too much-John’s face to stamp out the fire.

“Major Egan, it’s just a stupid bet,” one of the British soldiers tried to reason with him. 

“I have to do it now. Can’t look like a man who doesn’t follow through on his word in front of my girl.” My girl. That had slipped out when he was refilling his pint glass two or three pours ago. She was still tingling with the warmth it had provided. 

“Who’s it gonna be then, Major?” Everyone echoed the call. 

“I’ve played everyone,” he paused to hiccup, “and you Irish are about as good as hitting that bullseye as you are hammering your nails.” He pointed at a gentleman named Tommy and called him the best darts slinger in all of East Anglia, grabbing the apple to ready himself for the shot. Cass had resigned herself to the corner, content with watching John from afar. 

“You two have been so cute together all night! Why don’t you go give him a good luck kiss?” A group of girls, around her age, had been at the pub either with their own soldier or hoping to find one. They had been longingly admiring the interactions between Cass and John. Like they were in their own little world in the corner of that pub. 

“I don’t want to distract him,” Cass protested but she was already rising from her chair and smoothing her skirt. 

“I’m sure he will find it a worthy distraction.” The cacophony of giggles followed her to her Major, Cass plucking the apple from his hand purposefully. 

“Don’t go losing an eye,” she whispered. 

“Fond of them already?” Her lips pressed together to block her words of agreement from slipping out. “Tell you what. I win those bikes from him but I want a kiss from you.”

“A kiss? That’s hardly a prize. Last I counted, you’ve kissed me plenty.” It was true. When she hadn’t rebuked his lips against her knuckles, he had moved to her palms and her wrists and had taken on the habit of kissing the top of her head every time he stood to refill their drinks. God, he had even allowed himself a sinful press of his lips to her forehead when they had swayed to the record playing in the corner only a handful of moments ago.

“A real, proper sweep you off your feet and make your head spin kind of kiss.”

“Then I guess that is worth playing for.” She handed him the apple and pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek either way. 

“Alright, Tommy, just not the eye.” Cass held her breath as the dart sailed through the air and let it go once it lodged neatly into the apple on John Egan’s head. The whole place erupted and she watched with a smile and a shake of her head as he hoisted Tommy into the air. He caught her eye and smiled like a champion, straightening his jacket before walking towards her. Her arm extended to hit his chest once he was within reach. 

“Outside.” The air inside was suffocating, especially under John’s lovestruck gaze. Her head already felt like it was spinning and he hadn’t even tried to kiss her yet. 

“This seems sturdy enough,” he said with a wave of his hand towards a stone wall lining the road.

“Sturdy enough for-” she gasped as his hands grabbed her waist and lifted her on top of it. Their height leveled within a few inches. Instinctually, her fingertips found the hair at the nape of his neck and found purchase. He leaned forward until there was no moonlight between them.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered. She chased his question with her own answer, her lips meeting his and a symphony echoing in her head. John met her in kind, cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand and stroking his thumb once, twice, three times. 

“John.” It was a near moan. She wanted more, more, more. Her shoes fell off her stockinged feet, heels digging into his back to bring him closer. 

“You’re going to be the fucking death of me.” He said all the words with one breath to minimize the interruption to the havoc her lips were wreaking on his heart. His arms wrapped tighter around her waist, lifting and turning so he was on the wall and she was on his lap. Cass relished the change in position. Mewling when his hands slid up from her ankles to her thighs and settled at the hem of her dress.

“I need to catch my breath.” She pulled away slightly and pressed a teasing kiss to the tip of John’s nose. 

“That feels nice.” She giggled and kissed him again. “You all caught up on your breath?” Cass nodded and with a smirk, she crashed against him over and over again. And if he whispered again how he was smitten with her. And if she rubbed her nose against his with something more than smitten in her intention. And if John Egan looked back on that night from the confines of a POW camp in Germany, that was just between them, the moon and the stars.