#the only thing I firmly believe is that people should do what feels most comfortable to them— so long as they are able to feel good in

[thornedswan]

I don't get how...people don't comprehend that I don't wanna do T because of my own reasons and worries

[i-still-mask-because]

in the wake of all this new information during COVID, do you feel that maybe we should all just be masking all the time, COVID of no COVID? I mean it can't be the only airborne disease out there and immunocompromised ppl have always and will always exist so like. Following that thinking even if we don't have COVID we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right? Idk I'm stressing a lot about this do I just need to wear a mask outside forever cos. Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues and stuff but. I don't wanna?? Kill people by accident??? Aaaaa

Hello, thanks for reaching out about this.

I saw this ask about a month ago, and I needed time to think about how I'd respond to it (so I want to thank you for the patience!).

I'll try to answer all of this to the best of my ability, and I thought I'd answer this by going backwards (responding to the last things you said and then moving up with responding to the first things you said).

Everything is below the cut because this is very long!

First I'll try to summarize what I think you're asking here:

"Vulnerable people exist in this world all around me, therefore does this mean I'm constantly posing a threat to those vulnerable people's safety when I don't mask? The thought of this brings me feelings of stress, fear, and anxiety."

I find this is hard to answer candidly without risking stressing out you or anyone else who's aware of the consequences of their choice not to mask. Nonetheless, my honest answer is: yes, choosing not to mask means risking the lives and safety of vulnerable people, i.e. the disabled, immunocompromised, elderly, children & babies, and those that intersect those groups. That risk can take place directly (such as interacting with an immunocompromised elder) or indirectly (such as interacting with the parent of a disabled child).

I also want to add that it's not only those groups that need protecting. I firmly believe that regardless of your age and/or whether or not you self-identify as disabled or immunocompromised that everyone is at risk of the long-term consequences of this rapidly mutating, vascular, and immunosuppressive virus. No one is invincible to this, and I'll add: not even if you're vaccinated (still get vaccinated if you can, but know that you can still catch covid & develop long covid regardless of your vaccination status).

1. "Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues."

I understand how that can be difficult to deal with, trust me. There are specific masks (such as most standard KN95s) that irritate the hell out of my face after a certain point. The way those specific masks brush against the hairs of my cheeks just make me want to rip the mask off my face completely. Finding alternatives has been a lifesaver, and they've allowed me to get through the day without wanting to maul someone lol. I don't know what masks you have tried out already, so I'll just recommend the one's I like as well as the one's I've heard good reviews on from people that also have sensory issues:

NIOSH 3m Aura N95 Respirators

Flo Mask

GATA Mask (Haven't tried this one yet, but I've heard a LOT of people say this has been a game changer for them because of how comfortable it is & how it doesn't trigger much sensory issues at all due to its silicone material. Probably the only con I've heard is the chance of the build up of moisture in the mask after a long period of use & water possibly dripping on your face— this happens to me sometimes with my Flo Mask. Edit on Sept. 26, 2023: I tried GATA Mask, and I personally have a tough time getting a comfortable fit & seal with it, even when getting the small/medium size for adults to see if it'll make a difference, and the nose bridge shape not fitting well for me is a huge con. Customer service is just suggesting I spend more, so I'll just give this one a break, for now at least. A lot of other people seem to like it though.)

Halyard FLUIDSHIELD [ASTM Level 3] Mask (My mom works in a hospital, and these are masks she brings home from work. They're VERY comfortable for me, especially when I'm masking at home. I recommend finding a way to tighten the loops that go around your ears to prevent as much gaps around the mask as possible. If tight loops hurt your ears easily, I recommend a mask brace.)

O2 Nose Filters (I haven't tried these out yet as well, but I've seen videos demonstrating how effective these are at filtering out SOOO many unseen particles. I don't recommend using these alone of course, because there's still a risk of inhaling harmful aerosols through your mouth. I would recommend using this as a reinforcement of the protective measures you take. For example: adding on a comfortable surgical mask— ideally one with a high filtration efficiency like the previous suggestion— with the nose filters. I think these nose filters would be great if you're removing your mask real quick to take a sip of water or if you're outdoors with enough distance from crowded areas & groups.)

In the ideal world, more people would mask during this on-going pandemic so those that deal with sensory issues and/or those that straight-up can't wear a mask due to medical reasons wouldn't have to worry so much about choosing between existing & risking their health. For now, we just have to find alternatives.

2. "Do I need to wear a mask outside forever?"

My answer to this is: yes until further notice. There's no foreseeable end to this pandemic right now, but it would be worth the patience to wait for adequate tech, treatment, and cures for covid-19 to be released before even thinking about getting loose with masking.

Societal mandates have been dropped way too soon, and public health in regards to covid-19 is being forced on us as an individual responsibility. As a consequence, this gives this rapidly mutating virus a lot of wiggle room to spread and do whatever it wants. This means doctors and experts don't have much answers yet for adequate treatment because there's a MAJOR lack of containment (such as masking & quarantining) and documentation (such as testing & reporting). This isn't to say there hasn't been any advancements whatsoever: for example, Washington University just developed a breath test for covid that gives results in just 1 minute! This is great news! And this is just one reason why it's very necessary for those who can mask to mask, so scientists are given more time to roll out helpful solutions & tools sooner.

Another thing I'll add is if you're symptomatic and/or are positive for covid, you should 100% be wearing a mask no matter what, point blank period. I say "and/or" because it is VERY much possible to have covid and not experience any symptoms at all; this is a major reason why it's necessary to mask up in public consistently, because you can't always know who you bump into that may have covid or not.

3. "Even if we don't have covid, we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right?"

Yes, there is a possibility of spreading airborne diseases to vulnerable people unknowingly— without the protective & preventative tools that is.

I can only speak for America because that's the cultural zeitgeist I grew up in, but: I feel like many of us can agree that, unless you worked in a healthcare setting, what was "normal" (in America) before 2020 when it came to airborne illness prevention was definitely not the regular use of a mask. American health education mainly taught us if we're coughing & sneezing to try to do so in a tissue or into your elbow, as well as frequently wash our hands. That doesn't account for the way air actually works though. For instance, if someone with the common cold coughed into the inside of their elbow, the particles they coughed out are still able to linger in the air because their elbow isn't creating a tight seal around their mouth (their elbow may have caught the droplets from their cough— which are bigger & heavier— but the smaller, lighter aerosols would just spread around similar to how smoke does); it's the difference between 😪 vs 😶‍🌫️. The only sure way for the germs they've coughed out to be blocked from spreading to other people is if they wear a well-fitted, quality mask/respirator.

I feel like health education from a young age should include the benefits of masking; that way it would be easier to adapt to the need to put on a mask to protect ourselves & others as a collective. It would be phenomenal & wonderful if we as a collective were used to masking the same way we're used to putting on socks before putting on our shoes.

4. "Immunocompromised people have always and will always exist"

Yes, that is true. And that means necessary measures taken to protect them, as well as other vulnerable people, should be the standard.

5. "[Covid] can't be the only airborne disease out there"

Of course not. There's plenty of them. However, not all airborne diseases are the same, nor should they be treated as such. What's been observed in regards to the long-term effects of covid is not at all the same with other airborne diseases. Covid is a highly contagious virus that is more than just a respiratory disease. Its goal is to attack your immune system, nervous system, heart, brain, and/or other vital organs. That's what viruses do. They act smart and sneaky, and they have the capability to trigger illnesses in your body that you may not have had pre-infection:

Chickenpox is known to lead to shingles

Epstein-Barr is known to lead to mono

HPV is known to lead to cancer

Covid-19 has been found to lead to:

POTS

ME/CFS

Stroke & Heart attack

Alzheimer's

Dementia

"Brain Fog"; Memory & Concentration Problems

The list goes on, and these are only what we know of. Covid may not be the only airborne disease, but it definitely is a dangerous one with serious, long-term negative effects.

6. "Do you feel that we should all be masking all the time, whether or not covid-19 exists?"

In regards to masking with the existence of covid:

Yes. Masking is a vital method in the prevention of catching & spreading covid-19, because it is primarily spread through the air.

In regards to masking without the existence of covid:

See my answer for number 3, and also: given the fact wearing a mask can only do more good than harm for most folks, I don't see why not. Imagine a world where we don't have to worry about flu season or allergy season anymore because those aerosols are filtered out from consistent mask wearing. Sounds like the dream to me lol.

-

I hope this made sense! If anyone has anything they'd like to add to answer anon's questions, please feel free to share!

Thank you for reading 😷

[bau-drabbles]

change your mind

a/n: i love aaron so incredibly much 🥺 most of this is factually incorrect but i just had to write it

hope you enjoy and asks/requests are open! :) 🤍

Everyone eyes were glued onto the window of that room, you had been in it for far too long. Longer than Aaron cared for.

"Is she still in there?" "For 3 hours now" Emily answered while Hotch had his arms crossed firmly over his chest, his jaw locked in a tight stance. The rest of the team assumed it was nothing more than a colleague worried for another but it so much more. Of course it was.

Rossi placed his hand on Hotch's shoulder, partly to comfort him but also that deep down he understood. And he knew he would talk when he was ready to do so.

"Guys we got something" JJ entered, waving the file in her hand. At the same time you left the room, taking a deep breath to compose yourself.

You looked frazzled, irritated and defeated but you perked up for your team who all gave you questionable looks. Of course his glance burned a hole straight in you but you decided to look at Morgan instead.

"L/N what's goin on?" Derek had his brow raised as did Spencer and Emily. It was so hard lying to a bunch of profilers who analysed your every move.

"It was about the last case, I didn't hand in my notes and she wanted to discuss about it" "For 3 hours?" Spencer stood up, his eyes narrowed like he didn't believe you. You didn't even believe yourself with that lie.

"It was about my progress overall" You continued and they all looked at you, wanting to say something but unsure on how to go about it. You were covering something more bigger, that they were sure of.

"Guys we have a new case" Garcia walked in, remote in hand and her case files in the other

"This ain't over L/N" Morgan nods at you and you walk into the conference room, not wanting to be under any more scrutinising stares. Especially not his

•••

You walked back to your office to collect your things, it was hard to digest that after tonight you would no longer be working as part of the group you had come to adore and cherish. It felt like a stab to the chest when it was said but that was how it was. You couldn't change it no matter how desperately you wished, how could you remain on a team without your friends, the people that felt like your family?? Without him?

Would he even care that you left, probably not. He stopped acknowledging you altogether after you both split. Of course it was done in a such a way nobody really knew.

It wouldn't stop the occasional glance at the both of you when tensions were quite clearly high. And the one off comment about you and him but otherwise you were both amicable to one another. In a room full of profilers, one wrong move and they would know something had taken place. You had a sneaky feeling Rossi knew a part of it but if he had, he didn't breathe a word of it which you were entirely grateful for.

You just kept to your minimal sentences, it was incredibly hard to see him and not be able to hold as you once did. To kiss and hug him as you so badly desired. You couldn't even smile at him, it brought back memories you had suppressed in a tight jar. Those memories would come out to play in the early dawn, leaving you in tears everytime. But if he didn't care then why should you? He moved fine after the breakup, it was only right you did the same.

If only you knew the sleepless nights and the anguish he felt

"Y/N" You froze when you heard his deeper voice say your name behind your back.

"What exactly did Strauss discuss with you?" Oh so she hadn't told him...

"Nothing, everything is fine" You threw on your jacket but he closed the door behind him

"That excuse might've worked on the rest but your tell tale signs are showing Y/N. What exactly did she say to you?" He was sharp with his words and you don't even bother looking at him. Instead you straightened your back, just looking at the wall that contained every profiler in the precinct. How odd yours would no longer be there, like you were never part of this place. A part of this life that you truly enjoyed every day despite the hardships and failures.

"I'm moving teams" Your voice is quiet, the words of Strauss reverberating against the walls of your head. It was so incredibly unfair, you wanted to shout and scream but it would do you no good. This order didn't come from her but from the higher ups. They were adamant that you were on rotation. You had to work in a different city, under a different name for a few years or retire completely from the firm.

"You're what?" His own voice surprised the both of you, it was concerned. Worried, fearful.

"You can't, she can't do that I-" "Careful Hotch, I might just start thinking you care" Your voice was cold as your turned finally, met with his beautiful face. He wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms and promise you its be okay. But it wouldn't be. Who was he trying to fool?

"I can talk to Strauss, she could refer you to-" "And then what? Even if that worked, I still have to work elsewhere. I wouldn't be here for a few years at best"

For the first time in a long time he was stumped, you were right. There wasn't anything he could do. Every option had been exhausted, everything he could possibly say was counteracted with something else. There was no guarantee that you would be coming back to work for this team. Even thinking that was enough to send him over the edge.

"Y/N I-I can't... I don't-" "It's fine" You answer as you glance at him. He looked so worried, uneasy and it pained you. Even after how he treated you, you wanted to reach out and comfort him before the first tear drop fell. But it couldn't be, he couldn't still hold love for you if that was how he treated you throughout these years

You held the box in your hands, 4 years of being here all contained in a tiny box but memories that would haunt you for a lifetime.

"You had years to say what you wanted. But you never did. Maybe I wasn't that important to you like you were to me-" "No I-" "No? Oh but you did such a great job of making me feel like I was dirt all the time Aaron" You hissed, your fingers clenching over the edge of the box.

"I thought I would have more time with you, I was scared of this becoming more than it was. I was scared of giving my heart to you Y/N" He takes a shaky breath, his brows scrunching in a saddened look.

"But it was always yours" He whispers more to himself, the realisation dawning upon him that you were everywhere in him. In his drink, in his dreams, in his blood. Places that shouldn't have been in, places he swore off once Haley was gone.

"You can't leave like this. I can't let you leave like this" He runs his hands through his hair wracking his brain to find a solution. He was the team leader he had to find a way to stop all this. Why couldn't he think of a solution, why couldn't he help you?

Gently you set the box on the table next to you and walk over to him. You should have walked straight out but your heart guided you towards him, wanting so desperately to engulf him into a hug but you didn't know what the limits were. So you stuck to words instead.

"This isn't your fault Aaron, no one knew. You couldn't have stopped this" To your surprise, he takes your hands in his larger ones his warmth radiating from him onto you. And it takes you back in the moments of your relationships where you'd be so intertwined, it would hard to see where he started and where you began. Moments where his kisses and your hugs would be enough words to convey how you felt.

"I.... love you too" Your breath catches in your throat, placing a hand upon his chest. His heart was beating a mile a minute but you can only focus on him, wanting to say so much more but hoping he knew the love you held for him went deeper than any words you could possibly say right now.

"You know Y/N.... I love you, I'm so sorry I couldn't say it before" He whispered, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. In all your time you had never seen him be like this, so close to crumbling but trying his utmost hardest to be strong. It broke your heart into a million pieces and you know deep down you won't ever be quite the same after you leave him

Your lips were but a hair away and you don't know who made the first move but he kisses you with an intensity that makes you buckle, that makes you hold him that much tighter against your body. Your head is between his hands, his thumbs gently stroking the apples of your cheek. A few hot tears escape your eyes, knowing you would never get to experience a love like his ever again.

But you don't.

When you break away, his forehead rest against yours. It doesn't comprehend that once you leave this office, you could never be back in his loving arms again. You would never be with him at his side again. Eceb having him ignoring you was better than never seeing him at all again

So you move back, every ounce of you frantically trying to go back to him.

"I'm so sorry Aaron...." Your voice is a saddened murmur, eyes prickling with tears that came in waves but you resisted.

Holding your box in your hands, you give him a last look. His eyes shone under the dim lights and it took you everything not to drop everything and run to his embrace. To hold him once more until the hurt left him, to kiss him until his cheeks were stained with your lip balm and not tears. But this was life, you would cry your heart out when you were alone. Not here, not like this. You wouldn't break him further than how he was right now.

Taking a breath, you leave the room with the ghost of his lips caressing your skin.

Leaving him with a million words he wanted to shout but not one could pass his lips

[carnivorousyandeere]

Hihi! I always love seeing your zodiac yans being written about!

How do you think they would react to a darling that has recently been heartbroken and refuses to let them in? Just kinda open for any of the yans to be written in- even Quinn!

- cow anon 🐄

Goin with the fire sign zodiac yans just bc, but I’ll write the other signs sometime if they’re requested too. Just thought these three would be interesting to see in this situation. Written under the assumption of Darling and the Yans having been friends for a while, with the yandere tendencies and obsessions only beginning to arise…

Thank you for sending this in, and sorry for the long wait ❤️‍🩹

CW: alcohol, lack of boundaries, murder, mentions of sex but no smut

Kosuke pretends not to give a damn that you’re avoiding them— telling themself they’re too cool for you anyway, they don’t need you— but it’s a lie. The situation honestly pisses them off, especially if they don’t know why you’re being so ‘weird’ all of a sudden (they’re not the stalking type of yandere usually, so they really may not know why). They do get really pushy and demanding with you, basically forcing you to spill your guts about what’s up. Once you tear up and admit you’ve had your heart broken, they’re at a loss for words. They feel embarrassed and guilty about how they acted, but they’re definitely too prideful to apologize directly. They think they oughta be happy that there’s one less source of competition for them in your life, but seeing you so sad ruins any enjoyment they might get from it. Orders you food and (tries) to clean up around your place to help you out. Not the best at comforting, per se, but they’ll let you cry on their shoulder and shit talk whoever hurt you. Definitely thinks about beating the shit out of the other person, and depending on the circumstances, might actually hunt them down to teach them a lesson.

Jett doesn’t expect you to get over it quickly, but they do get impatient if you keep blowing them off to stew in your own misery. They firmly believe that you’re never gonna recover if you keep uselessly pining and mourning in your bedroom. You’re way too good to be heartbroken over some loser, anyway. If anything, you should celebrate being free from that nobody! They’ll take any chance they can get to drag you out with them— brunch, shopping, or especially partying. Maybe you’ll spill all the details if they get a few drinks in you, or if you’re just tired enough. Jett is plainly happy to have that worthless slime competing for your attention out of the picture— they should be the one in the center stage of your heart, anyway! They’re likely to flirt a little extra heavily and try to worm their way into being your rebound. Pretends like they were just kidding if you get annoyed by the flirting instead, but, like I said, they’re not patient— it burns them deeply inside.

Blake is the most hurt by you having feelings for another person, even if it was in the past, and you’ve since had your heart broken by that other person. If Jett and Kosuke get irritated and angry with you for pushing them away, respectively, Blake gets sad. They’re not used to outright rejection, especially from people they’re close to. They’re fun, they’re gorgeous, they’re kind (to anyone who isn’t a romantic rival, or who’s been a hater first)… and they just want to help you. They want to help take your mind off of things. Blake honestly, and with no self-awareness, manages to take a page from the water signs’ book and guilt trip you into feeling bad for not accepting their help and company to get you through your breakup. Most likely out of the three to kill whoever broke your heart and bury them out in the middle of nowhere, ‘just to be on the safe side,’ and also so they can truly feel like they “fixed” the source of your heartache by removing it from this world entirely. They don’t tell you, they just expect you to feel as if a weight’s been lifted from your shoulders in some mysterious, mystical way. They want to feel like they’ve fixed the problem as they hold you in their lap and look up at the stars, off-road on a spontaneous trip to bring you someplace fun. This is where their own impatience starts, if you ‘keep moping around’ when you ‘should be having a good time with them,’ similar to Jett.

As insensitive as it probably is (depending on the Darling’s personality, I suppose), Jett and Blake are also the types to suggest sleeping with them as a way to take your mind off things. Kosuke definitely thinks about it, but they’re trying to be more delicate with emotional matters with their Darling;;;

[morganski-19]

How Do I Tell You?

based on the Lizzy McAlpine song (go listen to it I beg you it is so huskerdust coded)

Angel is scared. More than he has been in a long time. At least like this. A real relationship should excite him, make him happy. But he can't get over the fear that all of this is going to end.

Scared that Husk will leave him like everyone else tends to. Even though he assures that it will never happen. Or scared that Angel will be someone Husk is scared to love. Because of his past. Because of his present. The addiction that still pulls at his mind and the chain that is wrapped firmly around his soul.

Angel believes that no one could ever love him the way that he is. That's what everyone he's ever been with said. What his family would say if they really knew about him. Everyone except Molly.

But Husk doesn't talk like the rest of them. Doesn't say the mean shit that crushes Angel's spirit. Doesn't play the games. He does the exact opposite. Makes Angel feel like he might be worth something in the end.

That's the thing that makes Angel so scared. He's used to the pain. To the torment. To the abuse. He doesn't know what it's like to be happy with someone. Doesn't know a damn thing about it. It's what he's come to expect. How is he supposed to tell that to Husk? How is he supposed to tell him where it all started?

Husk is someone that Angel wants to know. Wants to know all of the things that he's never told anyone else. All the secrets and insecurities. Everything that makes Husk the man that he is. But in turn, that would make Angel want to tell him the same. And if he did, what would come of it.

Deep down, Angel is ashamed of what's happened to him. Only a few people have seen into his life, that he's let see into his life. There was still so much more that no one knew. No one needed to know.

Angel's not the person he was when he joined the hotel. When all he was doing was just working for Val. There is so much more to him that he is comfortable to be. Comfortable to share. Most of it is because of Husk. Knowing that there was a person out there who liked Angel for who he was without the contract. He couldn't say that for most people.

He wants to tell Husk. He does. Just doesn't know how. How can Angel tell him what really happened to him? How can he admit that he's been waiting for it to all go bad? How he's so used to the pain that he expects it.

How could people write love songs without them being sad? The love that Ange's experienced has only ever been sad. It's all he's known.

[muraenide]

This miiiiight be oversharing personal sentiments a little bit but...

Ever since I changed my rules to include an explicit list of what I'm going to write on this blog instead of just a simple, brief statement saying "dark things will be present here" and started actively following people or mutuals of mutuals whose muses or writing I am genuinely interested in/have spiked my interests, I've grown a lot happier about the contents and people I'm seeing on my dash.

I felt like tum.blr rpers have grown incredibly judgemental and incapable of minding their own business. People all around me seem to have shifted their energy onto focusing on offending as few people as possible instead of trying to actually have fun, and the rpc has become a weird circle for activism when it shouldn't have been used as a medium for (false) activism in the first place. Not all of us are here to make a point or to establish a legacy. In fact, most of us are just here to have fun and scratch an itch in the brain or fill in gaps that canon source materials haven't been able to provide. But the idea of this is incomprehensible to some people who are actively ruining the rpc and making everyone fear that they're walking on eggshells while they spiral into a depressing state of existing to not offend anyone instead of existing to have fun.

I've lost count of the number of times people tell me that I'm on a DNI for "writing with pro.ship.pers" or "writing romantic ships with an adult and a minor" (<- said ship is between a 17 y.o. and a 19 y.o.) sometimes it's also ships about fake incest.

(Just as an aside, I've grown so desensitized by being on DNIs that it's no longer something to feel anything about. I'd just go through their rules with a very confused expression if to see what they took issue with. Most of the time I don't even know the mun personally.)

I've gotten more hate directed at me for writing fake in.cest rather than real ones, which is not only baffling but also incredibly ODD bc the fandom "decides" what is good and what is bad, which reeks heavily of manipulation and toxicity in my opinion. Fandoms aren't governed by a single party or a monolithic authority that decides its rules. Fandom rules are made by the community, and in every community, there should be different rules, made to ensure everyone is comfortable and feel inclusive. That is what makes fandoms special and detached from reality. Yes, you're entitled to not want to interact with certain content for reasons no one else is entitled to know unless they have your consent, but you're definitely not entitled to silence/stomp out everyone to cater to your whims or risk getting hate/harassment. Which is why I heavily encourage tagging content as-is instead of denying the nature of said content and praying that no one notices because that is the best way to make it difficult for people with different preferences and tastes to co-exist.

And ever since I changed my rules and actively followed people again, there has been a variety of content on my dash with varying tags. It's honestly very stimulating and uplifting, and if I firmly believe if a mutual were to take offense to anything I write or choose to interact with, it's on them as they clearly did not go through my rules when they followed/followed back. Additionally, I tag all my things.

A few months ago, my dash was exhausting, and boring, everyone (or most of my mutuals) was scared. Now I see posts getting tagged "necrophilia cw". I'm very happy for both my mutuals and their muses for striving for the peaks of how far fiction writing and the imaginative side of the mind can go.

I'd highly recommend anyone who has been in a similar situation to list down your dos and don'ts so your mutuals will know what to take to your tables and what to not. Personally, it felt like my dash had curated itself and it's been very pleasant to be on tum.blr lately even if I still have to vanish for a few more days due to inrl.

I think about my dash very often this week and I love all of you guys for being here and showing me your brainrots/muses! 💗💞💓

[many-sparrows]

Unsure if you're the right person to ask this to, but I trust your blog and it has brought me comfort many times before.

I'm converting to christianity have no desire to go to church, at least, not traditional ones, but I feel like not going to church and not making myself "officially" Christian seems... wrong. At the same time, I have so many beliefs, spiritual and otherwise, that don't align with the church, and in general it's just not a place I'm happy in.

Is it okay to be Christian and not go to church? To not be tied to one?

God bless you and thank you in advance

Ok, been thinking about this ask since I got it. I wanted to take the time to answer it sensitively and thoroughly, but there have been some intense distractions to my ability to think sensitively at the moment (*gestures at the world*)

First of all, I am touched that my blog is a place you find comfort. That surprises me a little bit, because I am simply hanging out. As for whether or not I am the right person to ask, I like to ask all sorts of people these questions; who knows what insights they might give. Then you can sort through what is and isn't of value.

This topic is difficult. It's one that a lot of "non-traditional" Christians deal with. Let's dig in.

You know, I think it is possible to be a Christian and not be tied to a church. Churches can be very difficult places, especially traditional ones. You bring up a very good point about the power dynamics- churches, despite all of the important things in the gospel and the things God has called us to, have been a part of systems that have caused a lot of harm and destruction, and you can't ignore that when making a choice like this. I firmly believe that Christ doesn't want us to do things that endanger our walk with God, and I really do believe that includes avoiding churches that are harmful and hateful and so on. I think God calls us all to our own paths, and our own relationships with Them, and you can never be separated from Him, even if you aren't in a church on Sunday. I spent years of my life not going to church, and had some of the most clarifying, important religious experiences during that time.

However, let me say a word in favor of churches. The whole point of churches, of gathering, of the Sabbath are that we are called together into community. We are called to do this thing together. I really do think that the lack of strong community networks is part of what our society is really struggling with right now. Of course, there are other types of community- friends and school, work, neighborhood groups, mutual aide organizations- and those things are absolutely somewhere you find God. This might be a hot take, but I don't think you should only surround yourself with people of your own religion or that you should only get community from there; Christ didn't do that, for starters, and in this day and age, when churches have become so inaccessible to non Christians, and White Christianity has become so warped and strange, that it's important to not lock yourself inside the church walls. However, it can be very lonely, even when you're a part of groups that share your values, to be the only one coming at it from your faith. We arent just meant to live in community, we are meant to practice our faith in community.

Every one of us struggles sometimes, with doubts and callings and questions, and having people with you makes that doable. I also know that the holy Spirit comes to us in community. When you're with people who share your faith, you know that you are with people that share this walk with you. At the very least you know that they are committed to something bigger than themselves. That is such a very, very precious and grounding thing to hold on to.

Also, none of us is ever going to be 100% correct in the ways that we interpret Scripture on our own. Good clergy have been trained in how to understand and approach scripture and how to meet people where they are, and having access to them is incredibly helpful. Having people to talk about these things with opens your eyes and can help you understand God's instructions better.

This is going to sound cheesy, but what really makes or breaks a church are the people. If you can find a group of people that works for you, everything else is workable.

As for beliefs that don't necessarily align, you'd be surprised how open some churches are. Quakers, for example, aren't even Christian, though plenty of Quakers are themselves Christian. I know many Christians who believe in universal salvation. I know Lutherans and Episcopalians to toe the line with Catholic practices. I know gay Catholics, Catholics that are pro-choice and don't believe in Hell. All this is to say, in some churches, you can make a broader set of beliefs and practices work. In many places, they are welcomed.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the United Church of Christ, and the Episcopalians are groups that have been actively working to untangle a lot of the problems in traditional church culture-- especially when it comes to racial and queer issues. If you ever feel like you want to access the benefits of churches, these are groups that might be a good place to start exploring, instead of just trying churches until you stumble on one. You also totally can attend churches loosely, when you need or want to, without becoming a member of entrenching yourself. You can rotate between churches. It really is all about you and your walk, babe.

I'm not telling you that you have to go to church. Unfortunately, I cannot give you an answer of what to do, because it has to work for you and whatever you have going on with God. I just want you to know that churches- though they can be scary and difficult and complicated- can also do some very important things for your faith journey. I also don't think that church should ever be the center of someone's spiritual life; Sunday mornings are a chance to ground yourself, a place to land when you need it, something to steady yourself, but not the only time or place God comes to you or that you're supposed to live out the values of the faith.

Regardless, this, and most things in the Christian faith, is not about finding one answer. It is about living in a way that works right now. Churches change, you move, what worked once won't always work forever, and that's ok. The whole point of this thing is to commit to the walk and the process. Of loving your neighbor right here and now. So I hope this helped somewhat. I hope this becomes easier for you-- the most important thing is that Christ is with you and that sets you free from all fear and shame if you let it, no matter how much people try to push those things onto you. I hope you find peace on this and that you find a solution that works for you.

Congratulations on your conversion! We are happy to have you in the family :)

[sidemari]

• Not my thing •

A NSFW one-shot about our favorite detective from Teyvat.

Character: Shikanoin Heizou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Consensual sexual relation, semi-public sex, soft dom reader, mild teasing, unprotected sex and mild praising kink.

Author's notes: This ask was the main inspiration for this work. Remember to be polite if you want to share any thoughts of yours about this text.

Art: @lukrlyn on Pinterest.

The frustrating and complex case you had been figuring out for months now was finally solved and with that, the possible worst part of being a detective arrived. You should now expose every single piece of information you had gathered to the Tenryou Commission during a long and stressful meeting.

Curious, envious and enraged eyes didn't leave your frame as you slowly and concisely explained your conclusion and final decision on that case.

"I can't believe this... And they say you're efficient" One detective said bitterly, trying to get under your skin to destabilize you out of pure rivalry.

With that line, a buzz started once again inside that specific room of the Tenryou Commission. Most of the participants agreed with your choice of condemning the accused, even if the voices from those who despised your final work seemed louder on that reunion.

The only thing that made you feel sheltered was the presence of your boyfriend Shikanoin Heizou, another detective and young prodigy just like you.

"Heizou... I'm exhausted from this"

His eyebrows furrowed in concern because of how hopeless your voice sounded and his fingers caressed your cheeks to bring you some comfort in such distressing moment.

You barely felt his hand leaving your face to go and squeeze your thigh as a way to tease and ignite your nerves.

Your focus was set once again on the heated discussion of the other members of the commission, and because of that, Heizou's brisk fingers slowly seeking their way inside your baggy clothing almost slipped from your attention.

"Can I at least finish defending my point? On the case I was assigned to solve?" You said firmly, bringing silence to the place. "Everyone here is deserving of appreciation. Every single one of us have the ability needed to be an detective working to such powerful and important organization, but that doesn't mean we have the same ideals or logic" You took a pause, suppressing all the emotions you were feeling before finishing your last thought of that afternoon.

But your mind was totally blank.

No other thoughts crossed your hazy mind besides fulfilling your boyfriend's devilishly desires and your body's urges.

Fuck Heizou for being such a sly man.

His middle finger was stimulating your clit strongly enough to have you squirming on your sit. The slim digit abused the sensitivity of your sex with so skilled movements it was hard to concentrate and finish your line.

"What I mean by that... What I'm trying to say..." Your voice was shaky and you went silent as a tentative to hold back a moan.

"Do you perhaps need some water, Ms?"

You were fucked.

Completely screwed.

The other Tenryou Commission people had already noticed something was off.

It was a matter of time they'd notice the lewd actions of your boyfriend under that tablecloth of the Yumemiru wood furniture.

"She needs this stupid meeting to be finished as soon as possible" Heizou's voice was clean and irritated.

The constant thrusting of his fingers didn't stop at all while he criticized his profession colleagues.

"Let's be rational, shall we? If the leader of the Tenryou Commission approved her final decision and even said her approach to that case was efficient and satisfactory, I think this arguing is not only useless but irritating"

When you felt some tension forming inside your walls - so ready to snap at any second - was when the teasing stopped abruptly.

"If you all allow me, I'll take (Name) home. She's not feeling so well and as a responsible person, I must take care of her"

And with that, you finally left the overwhelming ambience.

"Shikanoin Heizou! What the hell do you have inside your sick mind?"

"It's not like you didn't enjoy it, right?"

"H-Heizou!"

"Let's take this to my place. You need to forget this meeting more than anyone"

° • • • ° • • • °

"Hey babe... Please stop teasing me... I promise I'll be a good boy for you" Heizou's voice was nothing more than a whimper when your fingers stimulated his boner from above the fabric of his underwear.

"Should I even listen to whatever you're mumbling? You didn’t really hear me when I asked you to stop your little show" You kissed the skin right above his crotch, making his body jolt under you.

"Ah! You know I'm s-sensitive there- Argh, just let me be inside you already" Yet, another soft kiss against your boyfriend's lower belly made him gasp in anticipation.

"What happened to your promise from seconds ago? See, I have a point..." Your soft lips pressed some kisses against his erection, action that made Heizou squirm and groan.

"Please... I need you so badly..." He gasped quietly, trying to convince you to let him take the lead, or at least, to let him finally take you on the spot. "You know following rules was never my thing. I just wanted to play around with you, is all"

Regret was all over his face.

Perhaps it was a strategy.

Or perhaps it was mere manipulation.

But you were satisfied with how much devotion you squeezed from his soul.

Your heart was pounding on your chest while adrenalin kept running non-stop inside your veins.

Every single nerve from your body was ignited, ready to provide you the most sinful reactions and sensations.

It was only fair to feel like that when you weren't used to being the one in control. Yet, finally gaining the guts, you made the first step towards the good time you'd spend together.

Your hands made their way to his underwear, swiftly taking off the only thing that stopped the man under from being able to love you properly.

Welcoming him inside your walls never felt so captivating to the both of you.

By the moment Heizou felt he was completely inside you his hands grasped your hips tightly as a way to guide your movements on a steady pace that had you two completely surrendered to each other.

Only small whimpers and gasps left his lips, but if he could say something, he would admit that the warmth of your insides was heavenly to him and that the constant squeezing of your walls was enough to send shivers of pleasure down his spine.

Heizou's hands only left your hips by the time he felt the urge to kiss your lips. Pulling you down so your body could rest partially against his abs, you had to slow down your movements in order to get comfortable and finally kiss your lover.

"This feels s-so perfect" He gasped during a short break from the constant kissing.

When you returned to the previous pace, Heizou's face framed the most genuine expression he had done in a while.

A single tear left one of his eyes only to get lost on his burgundy hair as his hands gripped the bedsheets under him.

In the heat of the moment, Shikanoin still felt that he should provide you some the pleasure you delivered to him, at the very least.

One of his shaky hands started stimulating your bundle of nerves, making you melt above him. The other one made its way up to your lips, brushing them with his thumb as a way to get access to your mouth.

You understood quickly you needed to get his fingertips wet and warm and you fulfilled your task with ease.

That very own hand massaged the chosen breast of yours with mastery and desire. His fingertips moved around your nipples with the right amount of pressure to make them perky and sensitive enough to give you goosebumps.

It became hard to keep up the pace of your soft thrusts and that was when you knew you were close. Heizou's stimulation on your breasts and sex gave the last momentum required for you to come undone, with him right after you.

"Come here" Your boyfriend's arms were open so you could lay down on top of him to just receive all of the love he had to offer. "You did so well for me"

"Really?" You asked quietly, while some anxiety formed inside your mind, making you shiver and stay silent. It was visible that the heat of the moment was fading away, bringing back the worries.

"Hey... Look at me, please" His eyes felt warm and they carried the purest kind of love.

"You're enough, you're loved, you're flawless, my love. I fall for you every single day, since the first time our gaze met for the first time. I won't allow the stress of our duties disperse your glow and joy" The forehead kiss the man gave you transmitted his admiration immaculately, lifting up your spirits and warming your soul.

"Thank you, Heizou..."

"Ne, little one... May I tease you out in public some more times? I just liked the outcome of it all"

"Heizou..."

"You know that following rules was never my thing :)"

[meirimerens]

cleaning out this account of last night's ruckus because posting when sleep-deprived & going along with (even gentle) egging is Not productive and frankly did not do much beyond rallying people to heehee and haha and feel a sense of moral superiority which was not something i meant to & should have fostered by continuing to engage, cos that was not going to give us anything.

i do apologize firmly and fully for last night's mess and noise. i should have cut it short, should have said less, should gotten my ass to bed because I was in no state of mind to attempt cool-headed discussions, and it is my fault for not having had the discipline to sleep on it. it wasn't then, and it is not now, any kind of witch-hunt. i did not name names and i did not show anything on purpose, but i should have said even less, for one of my tags, which did not strike me as potentially too identifying for comfort when sleep-deprived, made them pretty identifiable, and i firmly reiterate my apologies for it should not have happened. people deserve to be left alone to do some reflecting and growing, and i have repeated it as such. this thing should be talked about as a wider problem and not be pinned on individuals, even if it easier. from what i had remembered, the artist/s had already been made aware of how unsavory the depictions were, and had just kept going, but this is something i should have checked for myself. I didn't, and for that I'm sorry.

i do very much stand by the fact that only drawing the one non-white guy like Wreck-it-Ralph when he canonically is profoundly average beyond being tall, while all the white characters get to have normal proportions (if comically smaller than him) is, at the very least, "sus", and worth interrogating even within the context of heavy stylization, because it's not like stylization has never been used to racist extents. this is an opinion i hold and am not particularly inclined to budge on. i do not believe it is conscious, or comes from a will to harm. but i think it's real silly and deserves reflection. this is a trope i've seen spanning fandoms, that every fandom with a white guy x nonwhite guy popular ship has to reckon with at some point, and every time you got people who think it's sus as fuck, nonwhite people who take the time and effort to explain how and why, and people, including nonwhite people themselves, who think it's not a big deal. i have both my own personal opinions on caricature (which are that you can do so while still not falling into racialized depictions) and no power nor desire to change anyone's minds. those two opinions can and do coexist, and even people who will relate to burakh on the same basis will have varying degrees of tolerance for this, and their opinions on the matter. let's just say there's room for everyone.

discussions from indigenous russian &/or central/east asian people on how the fandom treats artemy as the one nonwhite guy in one of the most popular pairings have been going on for years: i was coming across them before i even got here. but my personal experience of 4 years of seeing such depictions and reading them be criticized by people it affects and my personal exasperation towards mischaracterizations bordering on racism developed from seeing a constant stream of them, and them being identified as such, is not the experience of people who just got here, and a discussion spawned from a "woe the hounds be upon ye" imgflip meme does not particularly lend itself to 4 years, tens of posts, tens of threads and more strewn-around discussions of nuance.

I reiterate my apologies for the noise, the ruckus, and for the pointedness that had no business being here, especially considering how long stuff like that has been going on for; it was uncalled for and callous for it to fall on specific people when it is more productive to talk about it as tropes and a wider fandom problem than to point fingers. I should have had the discipline and the discernment to cut it out and go to bed. i didn't, got way in over my head, and truly and fully fumbled. i apologize for making a circus out of this. thank you for reading, and hope you're well.

[kinfriday]

Savagery

It’s hard to know how to feel as I’ve been going through the history of the Viking age peoples.  

On one hand they were profoundly inclusive, traveling the world, inviting other cultures to trade, and even including some of them. People with Persian DNA have been found in graves, along with rings with Allah inscribed upon them.  

What’s more we have written firsthand accounts, some of the only surviving, of Viking funerary rites from traders, and many historians now believe that the ancient Silk Road had its western terminus in Scandanavia. 

While gender roles seemed to have been strictly enforced, women still had the ability to own property, or serve as warriors. There even seems to be evidence, though it would be easy to read too much into it, that the Vikings were comfortable with a type of non-human identity in some.  

In a vacuum all of this sounds amazing. Here we have a warrior culture, that also traded and welcomed others and had at least some degree of respect for women as they ventured across the world.  

Truly, they must be a model of 9th century progressive values and ideals.  

Not so fast...  

While, to a degree welcoming, worldly, and inclusive, our spiritual ancestors were also, at the very same time, terrible people. A bulk of the slave trading in Europe came from the Viking World. Rape, and the murder of children was an acceptable war tactic, and virtually anything could be done to a person one owned, even up to murder, with little to no consequence.  

Human sacrifice to the Gods was common and means of justice were shockingly brutal.  

None of this existed in a vacuum. The Christian kingdoms of this era were at least as bad, and in some ways worse, as were the Romans. You aren’t going to find a human society that is without its horrors, and if you read the legends, even the Gods do reprehensible things.  

As I’ve grown in my knowledge of the legends, I find it interesting that, from my perspective, Ragnarök was a preventable tragedy. Loki’s three monstrous children are bound, but the why is at best hazy, and with Fenrir it’s an outrage.  

The Gods feared the great wolf, but nothing that survives ever indicates he was a threat. Perhaps we should trust the wisdom of Woden here, perhaps he had some foresight, but all we have from the legends is fear, and it is his binding that sets up the great cascade of events that culminate in the death of the Gods themselves.  

I wonder if one of the reasons Loki went after Baldr, was a result of Woden binding Loki’s son unjustly.  

One might be surprised to see such sentiment from me, but the Gods call me to be honest, and the one thing they never claim to be in all the legends is perfect, nor do they claim to be unchangeable.  

As said, they even face death, which is an ultimate form of change, perhaps the most necessary kind.  

I say this because I realize I am not so different from the ancestors. While many might see my actions as progressive, or even virtuous as a vegan, as someone that strives to go fair trade with her clothing, chocolate and bananas etc. Striving isn’t good enough, is it?  

I’m writing this on a computer that was built with conflict minerals, it’s unavoidable. Most likely some ten year old child working his fingers to the bone mined the cobalt for my fancy electronics.  

Migrants denied any pathway to legal or easy immigration into this country are exploited to grow my food. Some of my clothing was most likely made in sweatshops.  

We like to think that we’ve come far as a society, and we have. We now keep our slave labor, our exploitation of others firmly out of sight while we pat ourselves on the back for wearing hemp and shopping at Whole Foods, judging those that came before us with a type of virtuous horror.  

And it’s not fair to them, and it won’t be fair to us when, five or ten generations down, they look at us as brutal savages either.  

I don’t think anything can make many of the actions of our ancestors right, or understandable, but I think to honor them properly we must look at them with honesty and as lessons of what not to do, how not to be, as much as how to be.  

I see this with the Gods too, and the chronicling of their savagery and past mistakes recorded in the mythology. Woden is not the same God that he was a thousand years ago, he has grown and changed. I am deeply convinced of this. What’s more, the culture that interpreted, or misinterpreted his actions is now gone, and we’re left with our, in some ways, more progressive time where we can forge new relationships with these High Ones.  

Nothing is static, nothing will ever be perfect, but in every era, every time, there were at least a handful, some known, some unknown, that bucked the trend, that sought to be better than the world they were raised in and went beyond what they were given.  

There were people who freed their slaves, fought for justice, or never kept another human being because it just felt wrong. There were noble warriors who never harmed a child or violated a woman in a village.  

They may have been few, they may have done their good deeds under a cloak of eternal anonymity, but we have the same choice.  

I can’t stop it all, but I can stop some. I can’t keep myself from benefiting 100% in the privileged position I exist in, but I can use that privilege to shout from the rooftops and intervene for those that have none.  

We are our deeds, in totality. Much is made of being a warrior in many modern heathen paths. Well, I feel my war is within, and against every systemic cruelty that exists in the world.  

It may be my Jörmungandr, it may be the end of me, but as long as I’m working to do better, and be better, than I feel I am honoring the Ancestors and the Gods.  

[fangirleaconmigo]

I would love to hear your bitter rant abt TWN Eskel

Ok Nonny, duck and cover. Here it comes.

I tend to delay making posts like this because when I watch something (in this case, the botched Episode 2 of Season 2) and get pissed off, I like to calm down and think before I speak.

But then time passes, and it’s like….it’s too late. It’d be weird now. (this is actually the story of my entire life and communication style) But if you’re interested in my Eskel rant, I am happy to oblige.

Before I do, please know I am not just reflexively negative. I reviewed S2 Ep 1 and gave it an A. I posted a long ass blog post saying how much I loved it. The vast, vast majority of the space I take up on social media is focused on positivity and restraint. But I’m a human being too, and like anyone else on this planet, I cannot possibly be expected to love literally everything.

So DO NOT CLICK OR READ IF TWN CRITIQUE IS GOING TO BUM YOU OUT OR RUIN YOUR ENJOYMENT OF IT. Protect your peace. Curate your fandom experience. I want you to be happy and comfortable here first and foremost, I do not need anyone to read this who doesn't want to.

So, for me (book fan, fan of witchers and Eskel), Season 2 Ep 2 failed at everything it attempted regarding the parts set at Kaer Morhen. It failed at showing basic respect for the fans. It failed at telling the original story. It also failed at telling its own story. It also introduced brand spanking new misogyny to the story and to the wolves that was so goddamn disappointing to watch.

It failed at having basic respect for the fans. You can change almost everything about a story. But I firmly believe that the major things like deaths should stay the same. Killing off a character that does not die in the books is a dick move. You can only get away with it if your new story is so powerful and brilliant that it makes people appreciate it for what it is. But it didn’t do that either.

It failed at telling the original story: In book canon (on which the show is ostensibly based) Eskel is the gentlest, most gentlemanly witcher we ever meet! He is kind. He is mannerly. He is loyal. He is protective. I did a whole character breakdown here.

TWN made him a predatory, misogynistic creep. He is aggressive and shitty and creepy to Ciri. He even implies to Geralt that if he would have found Ciri, he wouldn’t have adopted her. He would have fucked her. Seriously I could barely watch, it was painful. I was ill.

But he was infected by the leshy! And we just wanted his death to have impact.

No! That story failed too! They threw the original story in the trash, then replaced it with a weak story that didn't work on it's own merits.

It failed because it did not establish Eskel as a character first. It did not establish his friendship with Geralt first. And no one in the story seemed to be surprised by his behavior. So there was NOTHING in that story that made me FEEL or SEE that it was unusual behavior for Eskel.

If a character is acting the literal opposite of their personality, people would have reacted! When he walked in acting like a giant weirdo Geralt would have hog tied him and performed an exorcism lol. He never once said what the fuck is going on with you. Neither did anyone else.

You can tell me that he was infected by the leshy and that this was unusual behavior for him, but if you show me the opposite thing, (no one taking much note of it) it is muddled, weak storytelling. The ‘after’ scene in the hall could not retroactively change the order in which people experienced his arc. Also, it couldn’t fix this glaring error.

So you’ve disappointed and screwed over people who love Eskel. And you’ve had zero effect on people who didn’t know Eskel. No one who was watching him for the first time gave a shit that he died, because from scene one he was a complete piece of shit. So his death didn’t even have an impact.

Its only job in the narrative was to be vague danger hits unexpectedly close to home making Geralt pivot from ‘hide Ciri away’ to ‘teach Ciri to fend for herself’. There were a million other ways they could have done that. It wasn’t powerful. It wasn’t necessary.

So why does that matter? I’ve seen people go “But he’s a minor character who cares?” I mean, if you don’t love that character then no, you don’t care. And you don’t have to! People connect to different characters. It is allowed. I am fully aware that this is largely a book reader complaint, and it doesn’t need to impact your enjoyment of the show. It shouldn’t! It is also an Eskel fan complaint (which includes lots of gamers), and not everyone is that either. You have my blessing and my envy to not care.

But I would like to differentiate between minor and insignificant. In the books, Geralt and Ciri are the main characters. (Geralt starts out as the main character and it kind of segues into focusing more and more on Ciri.)

And Kaer Morhen is essential to grounding, to defining, to understanding, and to humanizing both Geralt and Ciri. Kaer Morhen may only appear “live” in one book, but this place explains entirely how Geralt became Geralt. And it is (along with Yen) what gives Ciri the strength and resources to survive and vanquish her foes. She dreams about Kaer Morhen. She has visions of it. She recalls their lessons at the most pivotal moments throughout the entirety of her journey. Kaer Morhen may not be ‘on the page’ much, but it is at the heart of literally everything.

And Eskel is the witcher who (other than Vesemir) has known Geralt the longest. They are the same age. They were childhood best friends who played together. He is literally the only living person who was a child alongside Geralt. He knows him and anchors him in a way no one else could. He is singular and unique in that regard. There is something powerful about a story with beings who have been almost wiped out in genocides and are the last of their kinds. It defines Geralt in so many ways. And Eskel is an inextricable part of that.

And Eskel’s protectiveness of Ciri and his kindness to her, makes a huge difference in her life. Also, ETA: Eskel is the first witcher Ciri sees who isn’t Geralt and she is terrified because of how he looks. She is scared when she arrives at Kaer Morhen. But then she learns they are not scary. They are safe and they take care of her. So she learns not to be afraid or judge based on outward appearances. And that is because of Eskel.

So you can say that Eskel is a minor character, but you cannot say that he is insignificant to the story, because he is massively significant to the main characters.

And not only did this episode fuck up him, it fucked up that entire dynamic.

Kaer Morhen is a place of safety and family for Ciri and she calls upon it for strength for the rest of her life. And instead of Geralt walking in and saying “She is our destiny” and them pitching together to train and love and raise her, you have them ignoring her, being like ‘who the fuck is this’ and also sexually harrassing her? Like sobs What was the reason??? Then Geralt kills Eskel??? Kills him??? And Lambert is like…this is all Ciri’s fault?? What the fuck? We didn’t even know Ciri was involved yet. It was so confusing. I was like what the fuck are you saying, Lambert??? It was like a nightmare! Who are these people?? Lmaosob.

And Kaer Morhen itself, this mystical, melancholy place that is speaks of brothers lost that must be hidden at all costs, they bring like an entire group of sex workers there? Geralt can say the place is hidden. But if you show me that everyone and their mother parties there, I don’t feel it.

And the explanation of ‘they all somehow got black out drunk literally simultaneously and they get all the sex workers black out drunk and that is why not a single one of them objected to it, and then Vesemir was totally cool with it because that is both possible, and somehow makes it better?’

But even worse was the misogyny that was introduced. I’m gonna switch to feminist killjoy mode, and I know some of these things I absolutely hated, quite a few of you loved. And that is fine. I respect you and I love you and I would never tell people how to feel about it. But here is what I absolutely loathed.

As a feminist, one of the most important ways to tell if someone’s feminism is real is how they treat sex workers. Feminism is for EVERY WOMAN. ALL. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS. The minute someone is degrading of sex workers, I see their true colors. Their true colors are respectability politics, girlbossery, and dignity for some. It cuts through a lot of bullshit.

A lot of people see TWN as feminist. And there are FOR SURE some strong feminist themes that I appreciate. But in this episode it was just a big old rotten turd in that respect. (that’s the technical term).

They introduced sex workers so that they could show a naked dead female body. How regressive is that? What the fuck? They also introduced sex workers to act as a ‘scare tactic’ and ‘cautionary tale’ for Ciri. What the fuckkkkkkkkk man help me out here I’m crying.

And I will say that I adore 90% of what they did with Geralt and Ciri this season. I could write a positive post about that if anyone wanted to wash the taste of my disappointment out of their mouths. But again, I am focusing on this ep, and it was just a turd all the way around.

When Geralt stepped THREATENINGLY into Danica’s face because she implied Ciri could become a sex worker, what the fuckkkkk. I KNOW people think that is cute. I respect your point of view. I appreciate you. But I have to disagree. I hated it with my whole heart.

You add that to Vesemir’s little remark about Ciri dancing on tables that was supposed to upset Geralt, and we have more of the same.

Geralt HAS NEVER AND WOULD NEVER be the “I’m bringing a gun to my daughter’s first date” kind of dad. He’s never been the “I'm safeguarding my daughter’s vagina so she keeps her virtue” kind of dad.

Y’all. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I hate it. It creeps me the fuckout. The ENTIRE POINT of Geralt’s relationship with Ciri is that he protects her AUTONOMY. Not her VIRTUE. Do we not see how those two things are literal opposites? Geralt cares about protecting Ciri. From having to kill people. From being traumatized. From being killed or forced to have babies against her will. Not from having fun (dancing on tables??!!). And his worst nightmare is not a sex worker.

HE GOES TO THEM!! He isn’t disgusted by them. To have him again, STEP THREATENINGLY towards Danica to show ‘oh he’s a real dad’ I’m sorry I despise it. I hate that model of fatherhood. The one that is focused on guarding virtue. And Geralt of Rivia baby I’m so sorry that ugly bitch (episode 2) did that to you.

I can have a sense of humor about myself ok I know I’m not in the majority. I know that’s the model of fatherhood that people like. They think it’s cute. But we are all individuals and have our own reactions to things, and that is mine.

I even hated how they had him not remember Danica. Every time she was on screen it was ‘haha see how crappy all these witchers treat them?’ And they also got them all black out drunk??

Holy shit you guys. This is what the creators of this show think the ‘rugged, rough around the edges’ masculinity of witchers is all about. Gahhhhhhhhhh.

And the one bright spot, Geralt and Vesemir, they ended up taking away from me when Vesemir betrays Geralt and TRIES TO DOSE CIRI????

So look. Again. There are so many things I do love about the show. I could wax complimentary about the parts I love if you guys want me to. I love SO MUCH about what they've done with Yen. The sorceresses. I love that they've given them genuine friendships. I could also talk about that. I am obsessed with Myanna Buring as Tissaia. We know how I feel about Joey's Jaskier. I mean it's not the cast's fault! I am fully, fully in love with Yasen Atour as Coën, he was absolutely perfect. I wouldn't be so into the fandom if there weren't many things that I love.

But the fact is, TWN just does not ‘get’ witchers. They do not understand their oppressions (class, mostly) or how power structures exploit them. They made this plainly obvious in the lore they created for the sacking of Kaer Morhen and the ‘Vesemir doses Ciri’ storyline. (that is a whole other post) They do not understand this model of masculinity. They made this plainly obvious with this episode.

Which, these are big things to not ‘get’ for a show that is called The Witcher.

But this is probably just fine for most people! If they have no strong attachments to the themes and spirit of the books, I'm sure it is fine. I understand that this is a niche nerd rant and that I feel passionately about something most people do not! That’s ok. That’s the nerd life baby.

This has been my rant.

[teabreakpancakes]

Andrew Kreiss x male reader sfw and nsfw head cannons?<3

Andrew Kreiss x Male Reader SFW and NSFW Headcanons

Genre: Fluff, NSFW

(name) is someone from the 21st century btw

anon, i firmly believe in top andrew, i am sorry - lawless

𝐒𝐅𝐖

is very shy and reluctant at first, you're gonna have to take the initiative for most things at first

will take the initiative more often if he gets comfortable

if you're chaotic, he's the one that looks after you, he picks up after you if you get yourself in trouble

The gravekeeper peers down at his lover who was hiding behind him. "What did you do this time?" he asks, unphased and unamused. "Well," (Name) trails off, twiddling with the bracelet on his hand. "Well?" Andrew prods, tilting his head to the side while arching an eyebrow. "Well... I may have thrown a pie at that lawyer" he mumbles, looking away from Andrew with a pout on his face.

very possessive, he rarely had anything to call his so what'd you think would happen?

cares for you as if you're treasure

he's the one that rescues you if you're both in the same match—which sometimes annoys the other rescuers because he pushes past them when they're on their way to your chair.

likes taking walks with you at night

if you want to go out with him in the daylight, he goes with you despite not liking the sun—of course, he uses a parasol

he has more faith in you than in the god he used to have so much faith in

he wants to get married when you both leave the manor

he wants kids, doesn't matter if you can't birth any, adoption is an option :)

he gets domestic thoughts of taking care of you and your kids in your very own home

he's actually pretty good at cooking

Andrew places a plate of tempura he learned to make from Michiko in front of him, patiently waiting for his boyfriend to taste his cooking. (Name) takes a bite, eyes going wide when the food enters his mouth. He slams the fork on the table, "ANDREWWW, marry me you're literally so perfect, you can cook too omg, wish I knew how to cook T-T" he beamed at the albino before taking another bite eagerly.

he has scars covering his body, you tell them they look hot on him so he doesn't dislike them anymore

Andrew stares at his scar covered body, feeling self conscious. (Name) walks into his room, his mouth going agape. "ANDREW? YOU WERE RIPPED UNDER THAT ROBE? YOUR SCARS ARE SO HOT, respectfully staring" (Name) squeals, covering his mouth so he doesn't accidentally drool. Andrew's face heats up, "T, Thank you?" he says, unsure of what he should say.

he at first thought that loving the same gender was bad at first but then he realised that love is love no matter what

you help him learn that his illness isn't actually as bad as people said in his past life, you help him learn a lot of things since you're from a more recent time

was baffled to find out that technology advanced that much

you told him "i'd never snitch on you daddy" once because he accidentally wrecked the cipher machine by turning the valve in the wrong direction—he still doesn't know why you said that and liam never told him, he only laughed :(

is concerned by how suicidal you come off as—sacrificial bastard style

he sometimes thinks you're insane but hey, he still loves you either way

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖

he won't let you top him, nuh uh, not like you'd want to tbh

dom him? sure, he'll let you—you always beg him to take the lead after a while anyways

he's very strict, he'll punish you if he needs to

those hands are heavy as hell, pray for your ass

Andrew gently soothes the red marks on your ass, using one of his fingers to prod at your sloppy hole, "There there, your punishment is over darling, it's alright" he whispers.

he likes marking up your body so everyone knows you're his

breeding kink. he doesn't care if you can't get pregnant, he just wants to see you full of him

Andrew watches his seed drip out of your twitching asshole, a satisfied smile plastered onto his face as he caresses your flushed face. "I love you" he coos into your ears, placing a gentle kiss on your temple.

he loves your scent, he can get all riled up just by smelling you

don't silence your voice, he loves it when you're loud

he actually enjoys it when you scratch up his back, he knows it's because you feel good

he can't help it if he's going too fast, you feel too good :(

"F, Fuck, you feel so good," he groans, grip tightening around (Name)'s hips as he slams his cock deeper into the smaller male. (Name) digs his nails into Andrew's back, choked cries of pleasure pouring out of his mouth. The albino rubs his lover's weeping cock, urging him to cum once more.

[belltrigger]

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR SBMS VERSIONS of "Kiss" and "Surprise" <3

-Send me a “Kiss” and I’ll write a drabble about their first kiss

-Send me a “Surprise” and I’ll write a drabble about one character discovering something surprising about the other

Hiiiiiii Iyod! Thank you for requesting from me! 🥺 I hope you enjoy what I came up with. I had to think what I consider to be "my version" of Sbms, and I think this closest to what I think is "them."

Title: Our First Home Word count: 2330 Synopsis: The first time the twins move into their own space, they can kiss without worry of someone catching them. Dynamic: NoboKuda

~~*~~

Setting down a large box labeled 'bedroom,' Nobori cast a satisfied look around the room he stood in. Wanting to bring all the boxes in from the moving truck, he'd settled on placing everything in the living room. His twin, however, had decided instead to poke through particular boxes and had already started placing things around their new home.

It was difficult to understate just how excited the both of them were to finally have their own place together. On their pokémon journey as children, he and Kudari had traveled far and wide, settling down wherever they could. Sometimes they camped, sometimes they stayed with distant relatives, sometimes they boarded with people offering a place to rest. Each one offered their own interesting experience, and for a time they continued to explore even after they should have returned home.

It had been during one such excursion that he and Kudari had finally revealed their growing feelings for each other. With all of their time together, it hadn't come as a surprise to either of them, but it had been freeing to finally share what had bloomed in their hearts. However, even with the confession, they'd been too shy and nervous to do anything more than they usually did beyond stare into each others' eyes more. They already held hands often and slept in close contact - such a thing had never seemed out of place when they were younger, and it became a comfort neither one wanted to lose as they got older.

They never pushed the romantic expectations of their relationship while away from home, and it became nearly impossible to do so when they returned. Kudari firmly believed it was none of their parents' business who they were interested in, and thought it quite obvious anyway. Nobori, for his part, felt nervous to share something so personal with anyone other than his chosen person. He also felt it was an obvious conclusion that they would only grow closer with how compatible they were, and that they were not beholden to anyone to explain that.

Even so, this created an inability to express their deepened affection. Nobori became increasingly aware that the anticipation was for them both to find a separate lover and move to another location with that person. There was teasing from some of their friends to find the *same* lover, with the implication that many people would enjoy "the thrill" of twin lovers. Nobori was grateful, then, that Kudari did not reveal their relationship then, as his twin had expressed he wanted to when they spoke later. But it became more and more common to be asked what their plans were.

Finally, Kudari announced to anyone who asked that they were going to find their own place on their own terms! It gave the impression that they would continue as they had been, but his precious younger twin threw himself into deciding the perfect place for them to live together. Although he had absolute faith that Kudari would make good on his promise that "Nobori deserves the best," it was an absolutely monumental task to hunt for a place for them to live. One that Nobori couldn't allow his twin to do on his own.

With their combined efforts, they found the perfect apartment. More than anything, Nobori wanted Kudari to be as happy as possible. While Kudari searched for homes that Nobori would most enjoy, Nobori wanted to make sure Kudari's home needs were more than satisfied. It was almost like a fun little game, he thought. Kudari would excitedly buzz when he found a promising lead he thought Nobori would like, and Nobori naturally responded in kind.

Kudari had long wished for enough room to expand their pokémon team, and even to be the one growing them from their eggs instead of discovering them in the wild. Having their own place would allow him to devote as much space as he wished to that pursuit. It was a fun idea that Nobori enjoyed as well, and he knew he would appreciate a devoted approach if they wanted to be the strongest battlers out there.

Feeling a nudge at his shoulder, Nobori pulled himself out of his thoughts and fond memories. Lampent floated there, humming with curiosity, clearly wondering why he stood there staring at the massive pile of boxes and not moving. Reaching up to gently pat Lampent, he assured his dear first pokémon that he was simply taking in their change of scenery with the appropriate wonder and joy. Lampent did not seem to understand exactly what he meant, but seemed satisfied that he was alright. Once his safety was assured, Lampent calmly floated off to explore and possibly stake a claim on a sleeping spot.

Watching his pokémon partner hover down the hallway towards the rest of the apartment - no, *their* apartment- Nobori smiled. During the time it took to finalize the apartment contract and other such important factors, he had never let himself stop to think about the reality he and his beloved brother would find at the end of the process. If he gave himself the pause, he would have been driven to distraction out of giddiness, leaving the paperwork to his brother. And paperwork was Kudari's least favorite thing. But here, now, with the boxes of their belongings right in front of him, it was finally hitting that it was all real and finalized.

He and Kudari had their own place, where they were free to be as close as they wished.

Feeling warmth flutter in his chest at the thought, Nobori stepped through the piles of boxes to follow Lampent. Earlier, he'd been content to approach the furnishing of their new home in a different way from Kudari. His twins eager smile every time he popped back into the living room for a new particular item he wanted to place always brought a smile to his own face. But the need to be by Kudari's side had slowly been building as they worked separately, and he felt it was time to reunite.

Stepping down the hallway, he passed the two rooms that had been assigned as their individual bedrooms. Kudari was in neither, and he was not in the bathroom or dining room either. Lampent had found Eelektrik and was trilling and bobbing around as they both investigated the room that had been designated as a playroom.

Although his brother was not in any of the rooms he visited, he slowed at the entrance and allowed himself a moment to daydream. Each and every room had the potential to build great memories, and he was filled with limitless wonder over what he and Kudari could do together. What he hoped someday become memories rose to his mind: his twin at the bathroom sink, glancing at him through the reflection with light in his eyes; Kudari stepping out of his bedroom for help with his tie; a sleepless Kudari bursting into his bedroom with news of his success in breeding the perfect egg. Shared smile upon endless smile as they lived each day occupied his thoughts.

Finally, Nobori found his way to the kitchen. Hearing Kudari softly humming a pleased little tune, his voice was accompanied by a gentle clicking sound in random intervals. Unable to determine what could have been causing the sound, Nobori stepped fully into the kitchen. There, in front of the fridge and back to the doorway was his precious beautiful twin, placing things onto the fridge door's surface. The sight of Kudari turning to him was better than any of his daydreams - none of them had made his breath catch or his heart beat speed up. But Kudari's smile, easy but radiant, temporarily distracted him from his original purpose for entering the room.

They had found the perfect place to live together, but anywhere Kudari was would be home to Nobori. No matter what city it was within, whether large or small, permanent or temporary, he would never care as long as Kudari was by his side. Smaller places just meant he was closer to Kudari. Larger places meant they could gather more things as proof of their happy life. Cities would be close to their desired work. Towns and villages would allow them to be closer to wild pokémon to train against. A residence that was *theirs* would gather memories, and an ever-changing one would allow them to cultivate the experiences with greater flexibility. In fact, he would be hard pressed to find a singular complaint when-

"Nobori?" Kudari's little chirp of his name brought his attention back to the present, to the kitchen of their new home. Kudari stood expectantly with his hands at his side, eyes slightly narrowed in fondness as he understood exactly what Nobori was thinking. They were always so in sync, yet another thing he cherished about their relationship.

Still, Nobori felt the words coming from his mouth. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

Eyes closing completely, Kudari laughed brightly. "There's a lot to think about. But that can wait until we've unpacked, right?" Turning back to the fridge, he returned to what was making the clicking sound. Peeking around his twin's shoulder, Nobori finally discovered what it was that he was doing.

Magnets! A variety of different magnets were already smattered over the front of the refrigerator in a fanciful pattern. With a cursory glance, Nobori spotted one shaped like a joltik next to a litwick, some large blocky magnets in the shape of letters, and one shaped liked a train engine. A closer inspection drew his attention to two clay magnets, seemingly hand made, with the first character of each of their names painted on them. A heart magnet was placed boldly between them - such a thing could have never been on such public display anywhere else they'd stayed.

Nobori felt his heart speeding up, silently thankful that Kudari had thought this so important as to set it up immediately. Kudari's hands continued to busy themselves, and Nobori pulled his attention to the other magnets Kudari worked with. These were slightly different - black letters on white rectangles with singular words or short phrases printed on them. Mixed in amongst the longer words were individual letters as though Kudari had mixed together various kits.

'Kudari loves Nobori. Nobori loves Kudari. Together we make the perfect two-car train. Kudari will stay with Nobori forever." And then it was punctuated with yet another heart.

His twin fiddled with it some more, but kept going back to the same phrases. When Kudari reached forward to once more change the shape of the sentences, Nobori reached out and placed a gentle hand on his. Curious, Kudari lifted his eyes from the fridge as if requesting approval from Nobori over his attempts. And, perhaps, a little bit of Kudari believed it still inappropriate, despite being in their own home now. Nobori would not hesitate to soothe his fears.

"And Nobori will stay with Kudari forever," he assured, and the barest flicker of doubt that Kudari had harbored instantly vanished amidst the love and cheer in Kudari's eyes.

"Yeah! I am Kudari. I've wanted to put these up forever!" Pointing excitedly to the handmade magnets, he grinned. "I made these so long ago. But I wanted to surprise Nobori when I could display them for real."

It truly had been a surprise, for he'd never noticed Kudari making them. "Yes, we can now display whatever we want, since it's our house!" The moment a mischievous sparkle lit in his twin's eyes, he quickly corrected himself. "Though-! We must decide together! That means we will not be changing all the decor and appliances to be joltik themed." He had no choice but to chuckle as Kudari puffed his cheeks out in a fake pout. "There must be at least one or two litwick themed appliances for your aesthetic to be accepted. This is my one and only term."

Of course, he knew that Kudari's love of joltiks would never go that far.

...Right?

But Kudari was laughing again, stepping away from the fridge to wrap Nobori in a tight hug. "I am Kudari. I will show you just how good joltiks will look through the entire apartment." He squeaked when Nobori hugged him tighter in refusal. "Okay! Okay. No apartment full of joltiks!"

The daydreams that he'd been having combined with his laughing, squirming brother in his arms welled a sudden urge into Nobori's heart. Something they'd never been brave enough to do before was no longer a taboo. This was their home, and they could do as they wished.

So Nobori did as he wished.

He waited until Kudari stopped wiggling in his arms, looking to him with curiosity and perhaps something more. And when their eyes locked, Nobori leaned in and kissed Kudari. Feeling the buzz of excitement shiver all the way through his twin, he relaxed when Kudari pressed against him. Of course, there was no chance that Kudari would not reciprocate the kiss; Nobori knew that Kudari felt the same as he did, and yet the chance of bashfulness getting in the way was not completely out of the question. More than once, Nobori had lost his nerve when wanting to kiss his twin before. He could only imagine Kudari had gone through the same trouble.

But finally, they were able to kiss without concern. Seizing this chance, Nobori pulled back, only to try at another angle which earned him a pleased murmur from his younger brother. There was plenty of time to find the perfect way to kiss his other half, and he relished the possibilities there. All the things he could do with Kudari, now that the nerves had been banished, now that they had their very own place, were limitless.

And he and Kudari always strove to push past their limits.

[oro-e-diamanti]

Puppet Masterlist | Puppet Taglist | Buy me a coffee!

Chaos turns into more chaos as panic follows you where you go, and Damiano just doesn't seem to get it.

Content | Smut, angst

Word Count | 4.1k

Lesson Fifteen: It's all about unconventional problem-solving.

Your brother firmly believed that being close did not necessarily mean constant contact. Or even regular contact, to be fair. He was impossible to reach half of the time, so you had long resigned yourself to waiting for him to drop by whenever he had time and as soon as he walked through the door, the old dynamic was back, no questions asked.

However, this also meant that you were extremely suspicious when your phone rang the next day as you had lunch with the band in the hotel's restaurant, showing your brother's name. Quickly getting up from the table you waved the phone at the others before moving away and accepting the call. You didn't get to say hello.

"Are you aware you're in a tabloid?"

"I'm sorry, what now?"

"So you're not aware," your brother concluded.

"Amazing deduction skills. Are you gonna tell me what this is about or not?"

A sigh came through the line, but he obliged. "There a picture of you in a tabloid, you're in a hotel I think? It's through a window so I'm not sure. Thomas is kissing you. Didn't read the article but you know. Thought you should know. Not much stuff online about it as far as I can see just yet but..."

The line went quiet on both sides. You could feel your heart racing. Your head spinning. Your limbs shaking. This wasn't a possibility that hadn't entered your head yet. You didn't even know how you could have been so foolish. Of course, people would see you together, start talking. You should have been more careful. The photo was from the day before, you were certain without having seen it. When Thomas took care of you while you were panicking. You had kissed him without any question, without even giving it a second thought. You could feel yourself on the verge of panicking again now.

"Are you okay?"

"Fuck," you whispered, before remembering you were still on the phone with your brother. "Yeah, yeah, sure I'm okay. I'll call you back, yeah?"

You barely heard the are you sure? he spoke through the line before you had hung up. You couldn't deal with this right now. You wanted a breath of air but you didn't want to brave the main entrance of the hotel again, especially alone. You had no idea if there were fans there. If they would recognise you. If they would try to take pictures. Talk to you. It wasn't an option.

Stumbling into the elevator, you let your eyes wander over the buttons. Rooftop. Perfect. It only took you a few seconds to reach the top floor. The bar was still closed, tables and chairs tied together with a chain, but it was accessible enough for you to take a walk towards the barrier at the edge, and breathe.

You barely had time to sort your thoughts out or come to any sort of conclusion about the future when your phone gave you the most obnoxiously loud notification of a received message.

Are you okay? Where did you go?

Rooftop.

It only took Ethan two minutes. You timed it in lieu of other things to do. You didn't turn around when you heard the door open and close or when the heavy footsteps came closer. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you against his chest and carefully placing his chin on your head. You let out a sigh, feeling exhausted and defeated, as you let him comfort you.

"What happened?" He murmured, pressing a kiss against your hair.

For a moment, you entertained the possibility of not telling him anything. Coming up with some sort of white lie. But you knew you needed to talk and you needed the perspective of someone more familiar with this kind of problem.

"There's a picture of me and Thomas in a tabloid," you spat out in one breath, quickly, so you had no chance of taking it back again or pondering over your words. It felt a little easier once it was out. "We're kissing, it's... it's from yesterday. I don't know, I... I've never had to deal with anything like this."

Ethan's arms wrapped around you that impossible bit tighter. You could feel his sigh in his chest as it rested against your back.

"I'm sorry that happened," he finally said. "We should have prepared you for the possibility more. I would say we should have protected you more, but that's just impossible sometimes and I know you can hold your own. How do you feel about the whole situation?"

"Violated. And like... I don't know how to react to this. I don't want to see myself in those magazines and newspapers. I don't want the world to know about my business, not like this. But... I also don't want anything to change." You took a moment to gather your thoughts. Thinking them was one thing, articulating them was a challenge in itself. You weren't sure if you were doing well. "I don't want anything between us to change. I love all of you so much and I don't want to watch what I'm doing around you. And I definitely don't want any of you to think I don't want to be seen with you, it's just..."

Ethan let go of you just to softly turn your body around. His eyes found yours, holding them in an intense stare, as if trying to convey everything he was feeling just by looking at you. It felt like he succeeded, too. He didn't need to say anything. You already knew. Everything unspoken between you and him and Thomas and Vic and Damiano was so abundantly clear. His hands held onto your face, so large against you that you immediately felt protected from the whole world. One of them tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, softly stroking your hair, until it landed at the back of your neck.

When he kissed you, it felt reckless and safe at the same time.

***

Backstage was as hectic as ever, but as soon as he arrived, Thomas sought you out and made a beeline for you. You had asked Ethan to fill everyone in earlier, not quite comfortable with the idea of having the conversation three more times or even once more in front of three more people, and he had obviously done his part. Thomas' arms wrapped around you clumsily, too much force behind his movements, as if he hadn't applied the brakes quite in time before hugging you, but you embraced it all the same. It took a while for him to let go again. Even when he did, his hands remained on your shoulders, making sure to be in physical contact at all times.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, voice deep and full of regrets, as if he was at any fault whatsoever.

"There's nothing to apologise for. These things happen I guess... I have to learn how to deal with them."

His hands moved to the sides of your face, softly stroking the skin. The worried look hadn't left him yet.

"I'd do anything to keep you safe."

You almost wanted to cry. You knew, of course you did, but hearing him say it to you, with such heaviness in his voice, you had never felt more loved in your life. You were halfway to grabbing onto him to put a kiss to his lips, when a different voice all but shrieked through the room.

"They lost it?!"

All attention was on Damiano immediately. He looked somewhat between distraught and angry, while the tour manager's assistant in front of him was apparently waiting for the ground to swallow her up.

"What's going on?" Vic popped her head into the room, a stern look on her face at Damiano's outburst. He rubbed his hands over his eyes with a sigh.

"They lost my damn suitcase. The fucking suitcase with my stage outfits. All of them. What a fucking joke, what am I supposed to wear, this fucking shirt? We have, what, thirty minutes until stage time?!?"

His tone grew more exasperated with every word he spoke. Blind chaos broke out around him immediately. Everyone seemed to be throwing clothes around, rummaging through bags, trying to find a suitable substitute in someone else's closet. Unfortunately, their stylist had only brought the outfits they were meant to wear for the night for the other three. How she missed out on Damiano's outfit, no one could tell, least of all herself. The drive to the hotel for anything else would take twenty minutes easily, never mind the way back. It was a mess.

Vic tried to offer a shirt, but it was too small, and not in a fun way. Thomas' was willing to part with his trousers, but Damiano couldn't even get them over his thighs. Ethan held up an old and well-worn Måneskin hoodie with an apologetic smile. None of it would do.

No one noticed as you slipped into the chaos. Quickly grabbing the black jeans Damiano had been wearing before he got undressed in the expectation of getting dressed in his stage outfit, you consulted with their stylist, who happily handed you her hand of supplies. She would be too busy getting the rest of them dressed amidst the mayhem anyway.

You knew you had to work quickly, but it wouldn't be the first time. The number of times you'd only just fulfilled deadlines with minutes to seconds to spare had prepared you for this moment. Cutting up the jeans a little, you created three squares where you removed the fabric. You didn't bother with a nice seam, it would be lost in the details. If anything, it added to the rockstar look, you hoped. To your absolute delight, the supplies at hand included a wide but flat red band. Cutting it up into shorter pieces, you sewed them into the holes, creating a nice tied-up look of overlapping bands, leaving enough free space to underline the effect while trying to use enough fabric to form a cohesive outfit.

Looking around in a hurry, you wondered what to use for the shirt. The question answered itself as you looked at yourself in the mirror next to you. Without hesitation, you pulled your own slightly oversized, red shirt over your head, trying to ignore the fact that you were now crouching on the floor in a bra. The bottom had to go, you tried to eyeball which length would work for a crop top on Damiano, but you knew he wouldn't mind it being too short, so you cut it up a little more than it probably needed to be. The sleeves had to go as well. You removed them at the shoulder in order to use the neat seam that was already there, before turning the fabric slightly inward to create a straight line again.

"Just under ten minutes until stage time!" The call seemed to echo through the dressing rooms.

Moving up from the floor where you had worked in relative peace, you held up the outfit to Damiano, who barely noticed your gesture until you basically waved the pieces in his face.

"It's not perfect but if you sell it right, no one will notice," you explained as you handed him the shirt and the jeans.

"Did you just-" Damiano stopped himself, instead quickly stepping back into his trousers and pulling the shirt over his head. He took a few steps toward the mirror to check his reflection. He didn't speak as he twisted and turned, lifted his arms, crouched down, going through just about every angle and movement he could think of. Your nerves were on fire, and it was only then that you realised the room had gotten suspiciously quiet. Everyone else was watching the display too. It didn't exactly help with the anxiety. Finally, Damiano turned back around.

"You're a fucking lifesaver." Within a second, he was in front of you, arms around you, lifting you up from the ground in what might have been the tightest hug you had ever received. Whispers of thank you, thank you, thank you filled your ears. As he let you down again, he peppered kisses all over your face in pure enthusiasm. "You're amazing, this is amazing, what would we ever do without you."

Several people were shouting thanks and well done in your general direction. Ethan and Vic gave you thumbs up with massive smiles as they were being pulled away to get their makeup finished, Thomas gave you a quick but meaningful kiss as he passed you by on his way to get his own outfit.

You were sure the feelings of pride and pure exhilaration would stay with you for a while.

***

They stayed with you for about forty-five minutes. The showcase was coming to a close, the whole room filled with sweaty, loud people shouting the lyrics back at them, the band happy as could be on stage. You found yourself standing to the side of the stage, watching them intently as they performed, without being seen by anyone in the audience from your vantage point. The show they put on was captivating. Every time you got to witness it, you felt like you understood them, as people and as performers, that little bit better.

But then Damiano started speaking.

"Before I leave you sexy people, I have one more thing I wanna share with you. I had no outfit for the show today because the airline lost my whole damn suitcase, but then our dear friend pulled through and whipped up these pieces out of nowhere," he explained as he suddenly started walking towards you, a big smile on his face. "Give it up for the next big fashion designer to come out of Italy, you'll want to remember her name!"

The next minute was a blur. You barely heard Damiano say your name as he grabbed your hand and pulled you on stage and into the view of just about everybody, holding it up as if in victory, encouraging the crowd to cheer for you. You didn't remember if you smiled. You didn't remember if you said anything at all. In fact, you didn't remember how you got away and off stage, but the next thing you knew, you were sitting in the van waiting for the band so you could be shuttled back to the hotel. 

Nobody seemed to notice you staying quiet as they excitedly chatted about the show. You didn't say anything during the ride. Or as you got to the hotel. You kept to yourself as you got the elevator up to your floor. When you reached your rooms, you pushed inside after Damiano, not waiting for anyone to invite you in or ask where you were staying the night. You weren't exactly planning to stay as it was, but you were about to explode and you'd rather have that happen inside the privacy of Damiano's temporary four walls.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing out there!"

The words burst out of your mouth the second the door closed. Damiano stopped dead in his tracks, staring at you in apparent surprise. You weren't done.

"Why on earth would you get me up on that stage in front of all those people, parade me around like a prized cow for everyone to see, as if I ever asked for that! Do you not know me at all? Have you somehow missed all the times I avoided the spotlight? I didn't even want to show any of you my sketches, what the fuck makes you think I'd wanna be announced like that!"

The second you took a breath, Damiano made use of the pause in your speech. He still looked somewhat confused, but now a certain dissatisfaction seemed to join into the mix.

"Really? Really?  You know damn well Vic did you a favour when she showed your sketches around. You should be thanking her. I was trying to help, for fuck's sake. Give you the attention and credit you deserve and let people know, how the fuck is that wrong? I gave a friend a platform because I could and now you shout at me for it?"

You found yourself taking a shaky breath. You didn't want to be unfair, spew profanities, lose your temper, but the way he wasn't getting your point at all had your blood boiling. His face was set in stone, an impression of an old marble statue, much too gorgeous in his disbelief and increasing anger. You were sure he was grinding his teeth, hair already tousled up, hands moving around as if appalled by every word leaving your lips.

"Are you even listening to me?" you scoffed. "This isn't about you supporting me. This is about you exposing me to a crowd of strangers with zero warning when you fucking know I hate the attention. And today of all days!" You turned around in frustration, your hands gripping at your hair, before immediately turning back, an accusing finger pointing at Damiano. "I know Ethan told all of you what happened, you know fully well I panicked about those damn pap photos today! So what does your big head think is the best course of action? Oh yeah, put me out there, so everyone can connect the face with a name, fucking great idea, Damiano!"

He stalked towards you now. You took a step back, then another, trying to put some space between the two of you, but he didn't stop until your back hit the wall. Looking down at you, his eyes were staring at yours intently, pupils blown. He was mad. You realised fully when his voice came out as nothing but a whisper.

"Yeah, well maybe you should fucking get used to it if you want to keep hanging around with us because that's the price our company comes with, so buckle up buttercup and learn how to deal with it, because I don't think you want to do without us just yet, do you?" His face was uncomfortably close to yours, his breath fanning your skin, and you found yourself wondering how he managed to smell so divine right after playing a show, how his makeup still looked so good, how nicely your top fit him after the alterations. "You need us, don't you? You like how you feel when you're around us. How we make you feel. Don't pretend you wouldn't beg to be our little puppet again." His arms came down against the wall on either side of you, caging you in. You couldn't do anything but stare at his lips as he spoke, heart pounding harder with every passing second. "You'd do anything as long as we keep fucking you until you scream."

In an instant, all your anger seemed to morph into an insatiable desire. You hated it, you wanted to keep being mad until he understood and stopped being a cocky asshole, but his close proximity and the way his eyes kept flicking down to your lips had you restless and needy for him.

Your brain shut off the second you grabbed onto the back of his head to pull him into you, mouths roughly crashing against each other, both of you immediately overpowered with insatiable desire. His hands were tearing at your clothes impatiently, pulling the hoodie you'd stolen from Ethan over your head, before kissing you again deeply. You felt just as frantic, hands all over his body with no real direction, simply knowing you needed more. They finally settled on the buckle of his belt, continuously brushing against the exposed skin left uncovered by the crop top, desperately trying to concentrate on the task as he started massaging your breasts through your bra. He finally pushed the fabric upwards, not even bothering to undo the clasp at the back but simply freeing your tits before joining your hands in removing his belt, popping the button on his jeans and pulling down the fly. All the while, his mouth did not leave yours. The kisses were clumsy and unfocused, missing each other's lips in the heat of the moment, eager tongues clashing against each other, but you wouldn't want to have it any other way.

Damiano's fingers were back on you, leaving tingles all over your skin as they moved under your skirt and you had never been as thankful for the warm weather and the ability to wear skirts without your tights. He grasped onto your thighs heavily, fingertips digging into the flesh, right as you moved his jeans down, his underwear immediately coming off with it. You moaned into his mouth as you touched his cock, hard and thick and ready to be buried inside of you. His own hands moved up higher and he groaned in response to your touches, finding your panties wet enough to cause him to smirk. He briefly let go of your mouth as he pulled your underwear down, letting them drop to your feet and waiting for you to step out of them. You figured his next move would involve his fingers between your legs, but you were impatient and ready. Pumping his dick in your hand was enough to let his focus falter.

"I need it, now," you simply gasped and the look on his face told you he didn't need any more encouragement.

Moving your skirt up, he moved closer to you, pressing you against the wall as he took one of your legs to hook it around him. His hard dick was nudging at your entrance and you already found yourself throwing your head back at the slightest indication of relief. Then he pushed in, slowly, with as much control as he could possibly muster, as you swallowed him up, embracing the stretch with little whimpers, until he was fully inside of you. As soon as a tiny please left your lips, Damiano wasn't to be stopped. 

Setting up a punishing rhythm, he gave you every you needed in that moment and more. He was rough, hard and relentless, and you didn't know what would bruise you first, your back slamming into the wall or his fingers digging into your skin but you loved it all the same. All of your pent-up energy was released into your movements as you both desperately pushed against each other, needing more and more, needing the release, craving the sweet relief that would come with it.

You noticed yourself getting close quickly, and while you kept pulling at strands of his hair with one hand, your other moved between your bodies, moaning shamelessly as you found your clit. Finding just the right balance between harsh and soft, you touched yourself, Damiano watching your every move intensely as he kept pounding into you. If his noises were anything to go by, he was nearing his climax as well.

Your orgasm washed over you hard and fast, an abundance of moans and screams leaving your mouth as you shook, tightening your grip on Damiano, squeezing him harshly and it didn't take long for him to follow. He continued fucking you through it until both of you were fully spent, gasping for breath and exhausted. He pulled out carefully, catching your body as your legs threatened to give in, and maneuvered both of you onto his bed. The room was filled with nothing but laboured breathing for a while. Then his hand searched for yours.

"I'm sorry."

It almost felt strange to interrupt the silence that was starting to settle in. So you simply waited, wanting him to continue before you granted him any reaction.

"I wasn't being fair to you." He took an audible breath. "I wanted to do something nice for you because I was proud and I didn't think about the fact that you handle attention very differently than I do. I promise, I never meant to put you in an uncomfortable situation. I honestly thought I was doing you a favour, I don't know how I managed to ignore everything I know about you so much. I'm sorry, I really am. This one's on me and I should have known better and I promise to do better in the future."

You turned onto your side as he finished talking, watching the way he was watching you. His face seemed earnest, as did his words. You didn't have it in you to stay mad, but you would be lying if you said you'd be forgetting about the incident. Stroking his cheek, you realised how truly hurt he looked. As long as he was this sorry, you were positive he wasn't going to make a mistake like this again. You didn't think he had it in him.

Moving towards him, you kissed him softly, trying to convey all of your feelings with that one simple gesture, hoping he would understand.

"Apology accepted," you said as you let go. "But maybe next time we can do the apology first and the make-up sex after, yeah?"

***

Taglist | @till-you-scream-and-cry @ethaneskin @damianodavide @itsmaneskinbitch @blackberryblossom @lifeofa-fangirl @bethanysnow @noeprd27 @polygraph-paperplane @iambandlover @xx-x-frxnny @thewitchinthemountain @arrelia-hunter26 @crazyonthelines @vicbellaangelis @mortyandem @icarodamiano @Ursulalurks @Aapjesopeenfiets @xmusse @tellmesomething01 @elvirabelle @moonlight-simp @little-moonbeam-666 @maneslut @theimpossiblehologramtree @ha-la-ansia @l0standn0tf0und @iamtashaquinn @myleftsock @maneskintifoso @katmoonz @dreaming-with-happiness @que--sera--sera @cuzimitaliano @wow-ihateithere @searchingford @damianossigaretta @purrthehouse @gr8rainbowpunk @Littledropsofheavens @randombush3 @klavedeservesthegoddamnworld @wonderlandishell @befenak

[madamescarlette]

Eden you are my Webtoons mutual so I must know if you have been reading Like Wind On A Dry Branch because I need someone to scream to me about Killian and Rieta

!!!!! HI MARIA! Yes I do indeed read Like Wind On A Dry Branch and have in fact been doing so since day 1! (They got me with the sweeping cloaks and the courtly speech I must admit.) I think I said some time ago that I love that it's kind of like this portrait of somebody who has been so shattered in virtually every aspect of her life that she has become even less than dead inside, and how it's the story of her slowly blinking awake again and coming back to life.

It's been some time since I've read the beginning of the comic-- honestly this ask might be the perfect reason for me to go back and reread it all- but one thing I've truly loved and appreciated about the art style/form is that we as an audience can see how Rieta's eyes slowly strengthen and clear over time, and how gradually life and color have returned to her face. I just found that to be such a boon of the medium, since through the written word you can only convey so much of that, but I love that you can slowly see her making more expressions and looking more intently and consciously at things than she did before. It's just!!! so sweet to me because it reminds me of the Persuasion 1995 factoid where it was shot in chronological order to show the change in Anne's mien over time. She gets to come into her self and that's so loving to me!!

I will also say that for me, it is fully one of the best written stories running on the platform right now- I'm honestly astonished by how much care and attention has been poured into its story and world and characters; which is not to bash the other surrounding comics but sometimes I really read comics more for the love of art + quick doses of story than for story depth which if I miss it I can find if I read a book instead! But it's kind of shocked me with how...like...not in a rush it is. The story threads for what happened to both Rieta and Killian have clearly been presented to us as an audience from the beginning, and yet it clearly goes over the facts of those events over and over from a variety of different views, and as a lover of a gradual story I adore that! As a whole, it seems very even-keeled and very caring towards its characters, and I have so much respect for that.

Also, to tag along with the things that have shocked me with how much I like in it, I honestly adore how much gravity and sincerity they have towards the immortality of people's souls. This is probably definitely due to my lenses on that want to see everything diffused with the light of my faith, but I LOVE how the most recent arc has treated Kilian's relationship with his mother. As is the case with a lot of fantasy these days, I have to kind of approach it with a forgiving mindset that there's a cultural worldview now that our souls just kind of disappear, but (SPOILERS LOL feel free to press J to skip this post) the fact that so much of Killian's guilt and heartache as a person has been based around the fact that he was so, so frightened of having hurt his mother's soul when she was resurrected against her will, and also that he firmly believes that a soul shouldn't be tied to this world forever and ever but should pass on when their time is come...is one of my weirdly most comforting takes on fantasy necromancy that I've read in a series in quite some time.

(I also just read Sabriel recently for the first time and I think that compounded on how hard this particular revelation of Killian's hit me, just in the sense that like, the dead are full of people who love us and they want us to live whilst we have the time to do so, and then they want us to walk forward and that's full of love too, it's just personally very meaningful to me this year what can I say.)

I know you sent this ask specifically about Killian and Rieta, but to be honest with you I love them so dearly I don't have quite the words to express it!!! They're just something so true and deep and rooted that I can't quite comprehend but I love how everything about them has turned out. Quite frankly their dynamic is one of my favorite examples of restraint being used in fiction at the moment and I have so much love in my heart for how slowly the pace has gone for them as a pair because somehow....that makes it seem all the more real to me and I'm glad for it. The two of them remind me of that one quote (maybe by Chesterton? I can't quite remember but very him energy) that says when a couple are paired together they knock on the door to eternity; there's a great deal of inherent gravity to them as a pair because from the get-go, Killian in particular has approached Rieta as an equal and a human being and eventually as his dearest friend in the world, things I think romance in general could really benefit from as a genre. I also really, really appreciate that he's a fairly grounded person with a normal amount of self-assurance expected of a grown man, but not so much that he ever causes her unnecessary pain, in fact he's so conscious of her and her well-being that even a mother could not be more nurturing him imo.

Which I guess leads me to my next point, which is I think what really makes the series shine, what makes them make sense and what has honestly kind of shocked me most about the story as a whole is, well, Killian himself. I'm a great lover of fantasy in general, and I come to that from a standpoint of loving coming of age stories which fantasy as a genre is rife with, and I'm happy with that because I love them!! but I think what really draws me to this story so much over and over again is that it has these main characters who are really at the height of their powers as is, however locked away they might be at the beginning, and so there's less of a sense of watching the two of them being put through the crucible of their lives to find out who they are, and is in fact more of a story of finding out who you are when you are happy and settled into yourself when you have been constantly traumatized your entire life beforehand and aren't acquainted with who you can be when you're finally okay.

I say that because I think the both of them have already been cut as close to the core as a person can be-- Rieta obviously with her husband and her child, and Killian with his mother; but what I love so much about them is that it turns neither of them harsh or cruel. Rieta's agony of course being the more wide-spreading of the two causes her to retreat into herself, but what astonished me is that that never happens with Killian. He reminds me of the archetype of characters like Bruce Wayne or Jane Eyre, people who have all the reason in the world to have a broken heart who simply...don't. Many another (particularly male) character have used their personal tragedies as excuses to make the whole world suffer as they have, but his whole work has always been to make sure that because he has experienced true loss, no one else under his protection ever will if he can possibly help it. He's a truly kingly man, whose life is entirely based around safeguarding his people, nurturing the talents of those who would otherwise be turned away, making a place where children can grow to their full stature without the harried aspects of the court life he had, and that's so much to me. He's entirely more loving and caring and warm-hearted than I ever expected picking up the series, and he's FUNNY, he laughs and he finds good in his friends and his domain, and when he is tested or attacked his brain is always trying to figure out how best to protect his people from harm. And I hate to say that that is such a surprise to me but it is! I love that he's written that way-- because truly, there is nothing more kingly in a person than the warmth and kindliness of their heart, and he has that in spades.

tldr: yes I love them thank you for asking and letting me have the chance to wax poetic about them!!! 💛💛💛

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi I wanted to ask for help on a twisted wonderland pc I'm creating an Oc based on Madame Medusa, but I'm having problem with the ocs representing Brutus and Nero that were their pet crocodiles, I don't know if they should be beast men, Tritons or Fae, I don't know which category a crocodile would fit better in, mainly because almost Sebek is based on a crocodile, I know the answer is do what you want, but my perfectionism won't let me, could you help me with this dilemma?

I’ve made my stance on asking for OC advice clear before; I’m not comfortable telling others how they should specifically make their own creations. This isn’t just an “I don’t know you well, so I’m not willing to” thing, I dislike telling even my closest friends or family how they should create.

I can give general advice (ie “here’s a resource to help guide you”, “reference the Disney media your inspiration can be found in”, etc)! But I won’t tell you to explicitly make your OC a certain way (“make them fantasy race A instead of fantasy race B”, "this is how they should dress and act”, etc).

It’s okay to ask for help if you’re lost, but go to a source that is willing to give it. I would advise asking those close to you first before consulting internet strangers. You (and by extension, those who know you well) understand your vision best, not some random internet personality. That's why I firmly believe it is in the hands of an individual to take charge in their own creative process.

There's another side to this as well: not every person you ask online for advice will want to offer it in return. If you’re aware that their response will likely be “do whatever you want”, or, “I’m not comfortable replying”, then you’re overstepping their personal boundaries and that’s not appropriate. You’re prioritizing what you could gain over someone else’s comfort 💦

Realize that saying “[your] perfectionism won’t let [you]” also puts those you ask for advice in an awkward position. Firstly, it creates pressure for them respond (or else the asker’s feelings are put at risk). What’s more, it insinuates that they somehow know better than you do, when that’s not the case at all. Yes, there may be content creators we admire, and those content creators may seem knowledgeable or have cool OCs. Yes, we may want to emulate those people. However, we shouldn’t put them on pedestals and act like they are the end all, be all of making OCs. At the end of the day, YOUR opinion is what is most valuable, not me or some other internet person.

No one defines what makes a “perfect” OC but you. You shouldn’t need someone else to confirm that the decisions you’re making are the “right” ones or count on them to make the decisions for you. Nor do content creators exist as consultation firms for OCs. As long as you, the creator, is happy and having fun in the process, nothing else matters.

I want to be clear in saying that I’m only speaking for myself in this response. I don’t speak for all content creators; I’m sure that there are some out there that would be open to talking with people who want help with their OCs. It’s just that I’m not okay with it. Please respect that and don’t ask me to tell you how your OC should be made.