#like the different ways new years is celebrated or more countries independence days since the Fourth of July is having a sorta’ve event

[azuriteknight]

Although I’m excited for the country-exclusive cultural events on the qsmp, I’m also hoping for more international holiday events where everyone gets to show the unique way their culture celebrates the holiday

[mirjam-writes]

What about you? What writing are you happy about this year?? Is there anything you want to brag about?

Happy Yule, solstice, Christmas, Festivus, (belated) Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Doctor Who Day! And anything else you might celebrate, or happy Monday if you don’t!

Thank you so so much for asking 🧡🧡

This was quite a writing year for me. I wrote only four stories, but I'm quite proud of all of them. To Love Somebody was my first foray in rare pairs. An angsty backstory for Shadwell, and what made him the way he is. It has an hopeful ending, and I'm quite proud of the structure, and how much I managed to squeeze into the small word count. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is a short and wholesome outsider pov story I wrote for an event. I was surprised how much people liked it! It was also my first attempt on present tense, which continued in A Stable Relationship, one of my FTH stories for this year (the second one will probably be a bit late, and be completed in January). I had fun writing it, and it turned out to be a good one, and the only one of these oneshots that was Explicit. It was set in horse riding world.

The reason why I wrote only three oneshots, and why my second FTH piece is late, was of course my favourite story of all time: Be Still My Soul trilogy. A human AU story set in the sad moments of Finnish history.

Despite the class differences, landowner Azirafel Fjäll and sawmill worker Anton Crowley have been friends since childhood. The Great War rages over Europe and the Empire of Russia is in the firm grip of a revolution. The echoes of these fateful events carry over to the Grand Duchy of Finland, vaguely sauntering towards independence. Azirafel and Crowley find themselves on the opposite sides of a conflict that will eventually lead to a bitter civil war, tearing the country apart.

Is there a possibility for them to find their own side, or will this be the end of their budding love story?

I started writing the third part in January, and finished it just before S2 aired in July. It finished posting in October, and it's now complete and done, though I'm still commissioning art for it. This story took over my life for over two years, and it's my baby. I've had such a hard time to let go of it! It also has its own blog @be-still-my-soul-fanfic where I posted dozens of posts about historical and cultural facts. The story is written in a way you don't need to know anything of the Finnish history beforehand (my American betas made sure of that). It's a lovestory, not a history lesson, BUT if you want to learn more, there's a lot of extra info available 😅

I think it's the best story I've ever written (and probably ever will). Many readers have agreed, but it's angsty with very heavy themes until the happy ending, so it's not for everyone and I think posting it just when S2 aired cut some of the potential readers. The third part of the trilogy is now five kudos shy of 100 kudos, and I'm hoping it could get past that milestone before new years. 😂 So yeah, my own personal favourite gets the least interaction of them all. Oh well.

I'm gonna sound a bit self-absorbed, but I'm proud I finished it and it turned out even better than I hoped. My dream would be to print a physical copy or to record a podfic of that, but both might be a bit too much work.

For the next year I have two zine fics to finish, and I have applied to a third one. I have one event fic in the works as well, but the FTH story will be the one I'll concentrate until it's done. It's an oneshot human AU which somehow grew limbs and now it's 7.6k words and nowhere near done 😱 That's my holiday project.

Thank you for asking!! I was so delighted to get a chance to ramble myself 🧡 There's never enough chances for writers to gush about their own work because it always feels a bit self centered. That's why I like to wander around Tumblr and give people the perfect excuse to do that! Peek at the #writer's favourites tag if you want to see other fanfic writers sharing their favourites! And feel free to use the tag yourself if I forgot to ask someone (I was very much not organised when going through the blogs and I'm not good at matching blog names with writer names 😅)

I hope you'll have a magnificent new year 🧡

[splatoon-countdown]

I initially didn't think of typing out this ask, (mainly because this is a side order countdown account) but upon seeing the many pro Palestine and Palestinian awareness posts on here I decided to give 2 cents on this. I Come from India and in 1947, nearly 200 years of British rule came to an end and India was given independence. Yet, this would not be a time for celebration. Upon independence the British decided to partition the colony into 2 different countries based on religious lines, creating a Muslim pakistan and Hindu India. The new border between the countries was only revealed to the public after independence day and over 16,000,000 people were told leave the place where their ancestors had lived for centuries and cross the border to a separate country simply because of their religion. Over 15,000,000 were displaced from the partition and another 1,000,000 were murdered in cold blood and over 75,000 were raped by religious mobs who took advantage of the chaos and caused mass riots across india and pakistan. It wasn't long before the militaries of both countries stepped in and a massive undeclared war broke out in the north, killing even more people and hightening religious tensions and hatred. My grand uncle was in lahore for a buisness trip when the partition happened and my great grandmother recieved a telegraph saying that he had gone missing, 2 weeks later he was found, but he was never the same person. He never really talked about what he saw and died just a few years later. Even today, In modern day India, the repercussions of what happened in 1947 are still felt today and now with elections coming up and the increasing likelihood of the Hindu extremist government being reelected again I fear for my Muslim friends more then ever. What's happening in Gaza horrifies me in a way I can't really explain. A constant fear that has been plaguing me ever since October was that the same thing might happen here in India. Sorry if there are any typos in this, I'm literally shaking as I write this. My heart goes out to all the innocent people being bombed by Israel and I hope that a ceasefire will be signed and I hope that no people will ever have to go through what the innocent people of Palestine are going through and have been going through for the past 76 years. You don't need to respond to this if you don't want to, I just wanted to at least somewhat express my Outlook on the genocide and it's chilling resemblance to the religious holocaust that occurred in my homeland. Palestine Zindabad.

I'm so sorry for all that you've experienced, Anon.. Mourn for the dead, fight like hell for the living. 🇮🇳❤️🇵🇸

[luceherms]

Republic Day

'A government of the people, by the people, and for the people...'

These words, uttered by the sixteenth American President, Abraham Lincoln, capture the true essence of Republicanism; and India, a 'sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic, republic' has stood true to this spirit ever since the 26th of January, 1950, when she embraced the Constitution as the supreme legal authority in the country.

Today, more than three-quarters of a century later, we stand here, reflecting upon the success of the Indian nation as a secular, sovereign and autarkic republic; keeping in mind the faults we have notwithstanding and pledging to learn from past mistakes; to realise the dreams which the liberal, fore-sighted founders of our nation dared to envision whilst growing up in a colonised and fettered country. They had been set on a mission- to win back glory for an inglorious Motherland, and to give to the general populace the control and stronghold over the nation's politics, a right previously denied to the Indian public. Republicanism in India has come a long way since the 1950s, as the country is ever-progressing in the social, economic and political spheres and strives to establish the largest democracy as the most effective one.

But even after 75 years of independence, have we really achieved the democratic right? If the answer is yes, why then, I ask you, does the media cower from broadcasting the truth? Why are the voices of truth in mass media being stifled, why is the youth complaining of lesser opportunities , and why does the motherland still bow in shame to the vices of corruption and bribery?

If we have been let down, we have been made proud too.

Ever since its independence, India had been looked down upon by other world leaders who believed that multiculturalism and diversity among citizens would pose the most challenging threat that the new 'novice' government could hardly deal with.

It is true that history has taught us that where there is religious divide, there is divide in the democracy, divide in ideologies and divide in the otherwise unified people; essentially leading to the ruin of the republic itself. What remains to be questioned is - have these assertions been proven true? Did these accusations have any practical bearing in not only the 50s but also in today's self-proclaimed 'secular' nation? To speak in a nutshell, India had been a predominantly Hindu polity ever since the Vedic times, with other communities like Islam or Christianity entering into its boundaries much later, but their values and traditions soon seeped into the Indian fabric, leading to the intermingling of cultures and the creation of a national Indian identity.

অহরহ তব আহ্বান প্রচারিত, শুনি তব উদার বাণী

হিন্দু বৌদ্ধ শিখ জৈন পারসিক মুসলমান খৃস্টানী

পূরব পশ্চিম আসে তব সিংহাসন-পাশে

প্রেমহার হয় গাঁথা।

Widely hailed as a tolerant state, India post-independence has not tweaked its religious policies; it is, in fact, a 'secular' state which allows freedom of speech and worship to all communities-be it Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Parsis, Jains, Christians or Buddhists. What truly matters to the governing bodies is that citizens believe in their Indian identities as much as they do in their religious identities. It is also perhaps natural for a predominantly Hindu state to prefer the Devanagiri script to Urdu, for temples to be more in number than churches, mosques and gurudwaras; or to have the Hindu law (a code of laws applied to Hindus, Buddhists, Jains and Sikhs ) rather than a set of laws for the followers of Allah and Jesus. However, being a country through whose veins flow multiculturalism and diversity, we celebrate all religious festivals with equal fervour and enthusiasm, joy and merriment. We, as a collective unit, celebrate Eid and Guru Nanak Jayanti, Navroz and Deepavali!

It is to our credit that despite petty communal differences, we have risen together, as a nation, to the challenges posed to us and tackled them with a brave heart and brave mind. When our forefathers penned down the Constitution, they intended the Parliament to be 'a mirror of India': and Indians today can proudly proclaim that the highest legislative body in the country indeed has representatives from every nook and corner of the nation, bringing to the table; the skills, the values and the beliefs of their own communities for the collective good of the Nation.

Jai Hind! 🇮🇳

[lcvezayn]

Digital Reflection: Voices Unheard: Navigating the Intersection of Representation, Equity, and Identity in Canada

Canada means different things to different people. To some, Canada is just a collection of intrinsically equal and mostly independent provinces. To others, Canada is a country that celebrates multiculturalism and encourages everyone to live up to their full potential. But does this dominance of diversity today make all questions regarding Canada's history, and especially its Black history, irrelevant? Unbeknownst to many people, the story of Black Canadians started all the way back in the 1600s and spans multiple centuries, and includes slavery, abolition, and the civil rights movement (De Bruin, 2013). The history of Black people in Canada spans an incredibly extensive timeline, and their influence and presence in the region is not limited to just the establishment of Canada itself. Therefore, it doesn't make sense to limit the sharing and understanding of the full history of Black Canadians to only the 28 days of February. If the experience of being Black in Canada is a year-round thing (because Black people aren't Black for just one month), then how could it make sense to only discuss Black history in February? If the experiences of White Canadians are on full display year-around (for example, on the news, or in the academic or entertainment industries), then the stories and histories of Black Canadians should be shared all 365 days as well. It doesn't make sense for just one narrative to be shared, especially since Canada is praised for its diversity. Even though Black History Month is celebrated in Canada, there are still negative and stereotypical narratives about Black Canadians being spread. This is why it's essential to share the full history of Black Canadians without the stereotypical lens of the white gaze in order to help us address anti-Black racism in Canada and appreciate and understand the long, deep history of Black Canadians.

We all know that representation matters. It's an indescribable feeling to look at a screen and see someone portray how it feels to be you everyday. However, the true meaning of representation goes beyond the screen. For example, George Floyd's murder at the hands of the Minneapolis Police Department put the spotlight on systemic Black racism in the US, resulting in protests around the country and the world, demanding for change in an incredibly flawed legal system (and other institutions) that doesn't hide its discrimination (Silverstein, 2021). However, only two years later, a study showed that approximately 52% of Black Canadians don't believe that anything is different when it comes to institutions and workplaces, where many Black people feel ignored, under-utilized, and underrepresented (Beezer, 2022). The Canadian workplace isn't the only place where Black Canadians are not properly represented. In fact, the lack of race-based data is a significant issue in healthcare. Despite the COVID-19 Pandemic in Canada highlighting how certain groups, most notably Black Canadians, were being disproportionately affected based on higher infection and death rates, we still don't know the full extent of these effects since the Canadian government doesn't collect race-based data (Kemei et al., 2023). Whether this stems from not wanting to "discriminate" by collected data based on race, or wanting to focus on equality in the healthcare system, the reason doesn't really matter here. We shouldn't be only focusing on equality but also equity. There are evidence-based differences in how certain diseases, like cardiovascular disease, present differently in White versus Black Canadians, with genes and the environment playing a big role in why these differences occur (Ramraj et al., 2016). If physicians don't know what signs to look for, they can't make accurate and timely diagnoses, explaining why Black Canadians are more likely to die of certain diseases compared to White Canadians. If the lack of representation of Black Canadians is so serious that it's resulting in unjust deaths, then why shouldn't we put pressure on government officials to allow for race-based data collection so we can address these inequities? Race-based data on social outcomes, including education, unemployment, and health wouldn't just be helpful for healthcare inequities, but it would also explain why Black Canadians are over-represented in prison systems, for example.

Now, trying my best not to sound self-conceited, I would like to talk a bit about myself. I have a multifaceted identity. I'm a student, always navigating the opportunities and challenges that come with that. I wear the hats of a sister, a daughter, and a friend, which keeps me grounded and true to myself. Beyond these roles, I value creativity a great deal in my life. I'm an artist for fun, focusing on abstract art (and if I'm up for the challenge, realism). I like to lose myself in cinema, music, and in books. I'm a first-generation Canadian; my parents began their journey from Pakistan to Canada in 2001, after getting married. Navigating two polar-opposite cultures as a chid was both difficult and confusing. Often times, I felt I wasn't Western enough to fit in with friends, or Asian enough to fit in with family. As I progressed through my teen years, and now that I'm in my very early 20s, I've learned to stop forcing my two worlds, Pakistani and Canadian, to compete with each other. Today, as I try my best to embody all aspects of myself, I place a lot of importance on how my community is represented here in Canada. I recall that my high school would play music just before the last bell rang and the National anthem played and it would always be music in the English language, regardless of what genre it was. I remember thinking, "Do they know that music also exists in other languages?", until one day, they played the song "Tum Hi Ho", a song I remember listening to in the car on drives with my parents. In one way, it's sad that my first time seeing myself represented in Canada in a way that truly resonated with me personally was when I was a teenager, but in another way, I'm grateful to have that representation at all. Since then, I've started to see my community represented more and more in Canada. For example, my high school started a "multicultural day" during my final year. Seeing South Asian culture be represented in such a beautiful way, through the food, music, dancing, and clothes was an enchanting experience. Learning about clubs devoted to the South Asian experience here at the University of Toronto is also empowering. Therefore, knowing how important accurate representation is for me, I can imagine how important it is for other communities in Canada.

Written By: Manahil Maryam for HLTD22

References:

Beezer, L. (2022, March 1). Black Representation Still Lacking In Many Workplaces, Including Canadian Media. CTV News. https://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/you-re-isolated-black-representation-still-lacking-in-many-workplaces-including-canadian-media-1.5801225.

De Bruin, T. (2013, February 19). Black Canadians. The Canadian Encyclopedia. https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/black-canadians.

Kemei, J., et al. (2023). Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Black Communities in Canada. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(2), 1580. doi: 10.3390/ijerph20021580.

Ramraj, C., et al. (2016). Equally inequitable? A cross-national comparative study of racial health inequalities in the United States and Canada. Social Science & Medicine, 161, 19-26. doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2016.05.028.

Silverstein, J. (2021, June 4). The Global Impact of George Floyd: How Black Lives Matter protests shaped movements around the world. CBS News. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/george-floyd-black-lives-matter-impact/.

[rabbitcruiser]

World Fisheries Day

World Fisheries Day, celebrated on November 21, is dedicated to highlighting the critical importance of healthy ocean ecosystems and to ensure sustainable stocks of fisheries in the world. Fishing communities celebrate this day through rallies, workshops, public meetings, cultural dramas, exhibitions, and music shows.  Fisher folks in India, where it is widely celebrated, also demonstrate the importance of maintaining the fisheries of the world along with highlighting the problems like overfishing and mechanization. World Fisheries Day also explores finding solutions to the increasingly interconnected problems that the world is facing to follow sustainable models of our ocean ecosystems.

History of World Fisheries Day

World Fisheries Day, which is followed in India on November 21, highlights the fact that fisheries are an important sector in the country. It provides employment to millions of people, as well as contributing to the food security of India.

The fishery resources in India are mainly composed of inland and marine. Inland fisheries are mainly composed of major rivers and their tributaries, ponds, reservoirs, lakes, canals, and so forth. World Fisheries Day is celebrated worldwide by the fishing communities to recognize the vast and sometimes underappreciated food source for millions of humans.

In 2019, Andhra Pradesh’s government launched a number of welfare schemes for fishermen on the occasion of World Fisheries Day. State Fisheries Minister Mopidevi Venkata Ramana said on the occasion, “The YSRCP government has increased compensation to fishermen, for the mandatory ban period of 45 days, from Rs 4,000 to Rs 10,000.” The state government has also increased the subsidy on diesel for mechanized or non-mechanized boats. In case of death of fisherman compensation of 10 lakh will be given within two months.

Indian fisheries and aquaculture is an important sector of food production providing nutritional security, besides livelihood support and gainful employment to more than 14 million people, and contributing to agricultural exports. With diverse resources ranging from deep seas to lakes in the mountains and more than 10 percent of the global biodiversity in terms of fish and shellfish species, the country has shown continuous and sustained increments in fish production since independence in 1947.

The total fish production during 2017-18 was estimated to be 12.60 million metric tonnes, of which nearly 65 percent is from the inland sector and about 50 percent of the total production is from culture fisheries, which constitutes about 6.3 percent of the global fish production. More than 50 different types of fish and shellfish products are being exported to 75 countries around the world. Fish and fish products have presently emerged as the largest group in agricultural exports from India. On World Fisheries Day, make sure to support fisheries and new sustainable ways to make our ocean ecosystems cleaner.

World Fisheries Day timeline

2019 Supporting Indian fisheries

Andhra Pradesh's government launches a number of welfare schemes for fishermen on the occasion of World Fisheries Day, including the death of fisherman compensation and a subsidy increase on diesel for mechanized or unmechanized boats.

2016 Fish production at an all-time high

Total fish production reaches an all-time high of 171 million tonnes, of which 88 percent was utilized for direct human consumption, thanks to relatively stable capture fisheries production, reduced wastage, and continued aquaculture growth.

2014 The importance of sustainable fisheries

A report by Prince Charles' International Sustainability Unit is released, estimating global fisheries were adding $270 billion a year to global GDP, but by full implementation of sustainable fishing, that figure could rise by as much as $50 billion.

1961 Double-growth of fish consumption

Since this year, the annual global growth in fish consumption has been twice as high as population growth, furthermore, while the annual growth of aquaculture has declined in recent years, significant double-digit growth is still recorded in continents like Africa and Asia.

World Fisheries Day FAQs

Why is World Fisheries Day celebrated?

A number of traditional societies and communities rally around the occupation of fishing. World Fisheries Day celebrations serve as an important reminder that we must focus on changing the way the world manages global fisheries to ensure sustainable stocks and healthy ecosystems.

What is the largest fishery in the world?

Anchovy fishing is the largest fishery in the world.

What is another name for fishery?

There are around 12 synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic expressions, and related words for fishery, such as spawning place, fish hatchery, fishing banks, fishtrap, weir, fish cannery, aquarium, tank, cannery, hatchery and piscary.

How To Celebrate World Fisheries Day

Attend a fishery sustainability workshop

Get involved with the fisherfolk community

Take care of your environment

Fisheries are a vital part of our ecosystem and food resources across the globe. On World Fisheries Day, consider signing up for an online workshop to learn about sustainable methods to keep our ocean ecosystems alive and productive. There are various events across the globe that celebrate this day. If you can’t find an event near you, organize a workshop with like-minded friends and family.

Fishermen contribute greatly to resourcing fish for food and should be supported in any way they can be, especially in developing nations. Consider fundraising for their charity events, whether they hold a rally or public meeting, to increase awareness of fisheries around the world and what they do every day. You are sure to learn a lot more about where your fish comes from and how it can be sustained in a better manner.

The oceans and fisheries become cleaner and more sustainable when our environment is less filled with rubbish. This includes taking care of rivers, dams, and the sea as these are important habitats for fish and aquatic organisms. Next time you go camping, hiking, or the beach, be sure to pick up any rubbish you see along the way. Try to educate people as well about the devastating impact of rubbish and to reduce the amount of plastic waste.

5 Important Fact About World Fisheries Day

Low-income work

Where your fish comes from

Fish and protein

Humans consume a lot of fish

When in Africa

65 percent of the reported catch from inland fisheries is from low-income food-deficit countries.

Estimates vary, but from around 30 million to over 60 million people in the developing world are involved in inland fisheries — it is thought that about 50 percent are women.

More than 25 percent of the world’s dietary protein is provided by fish.

The human population consumes over 100 million tons of fish annually.

Over 200 million of Africa’s 1 billion people regularly consume fish and nearly half of this comes from inland fisheries.

Why World Fisheries Day Is Important

It’s a reminder of environmental sustainability

It supports fishermen and women

It helps us learn more about the environment

A recent United Nations study reported that more than two-thirds of the world's fisheries have been overfished or are fully harvested and more than one third are in a state of decline because of factors such as the loss of essential fish habitats, pollution, and global warming. World Fisheries Day is an important reminder to inform ourselves and those around us of climate change and pollution, in order to keep our fisheries clean and productive.

Fish forms an important part of the diets of people around the world, particularly those that live near rivers, coasts, and other water bodies. A number of traditional societies and communities are rallied around the occupation of fishing, and around 50 percent of them are women. It’s time to increase awareness about low-income fishermen and women who work tirelessly in fisheries, especially in developing countries. Consider giving in charity or post information and statistics on social media.

Countries such as India contribute greatly to the sourcing of fish. Indian fisheries and aquaculture is an important sector of food production providing nutritional security, besides livelihood support and gainful employment to more than 14 million people, and contributing to agricultural exports. More than 50 different types of fish and shellfish products are being exported to 75 countries around the world. Fish and fish products have presently emerged as the largest group in agricultural exports from India. World Fisheries Day is a great time to learn more about where our fish comes from and the environment of fisheries.

Source

[painless-innit-colourful]

On the morning of the 20th of January, the SMP prepares to receive the notices of death for two children.

They watch Tommy and Tubbo walk the path, meeting their friends along the way. They are wished the best of luck, they are given gifts and gear, they say their most genuine goodbyes. People line the streets around the Prime Path to see them off.

And then, when they are gone, they return to their houses, to their families, and they await the dreadful news. People have been anticipating this day, ever since reports of Dream's ultimatum spread. Depressingly, people already have it all planned out: the flowers they'll lay outside Tommy's house and in Snowchester and L'Manberg, the bench that'll become a protected monument, and the fact that people have even acquired old flags to display in honour of their legacies.

It's mid-afternoon when the clouds finally blow away, and the city planners by the half-reconstructed Community House turn their faces to the sky, grateful for the warmth on that chilly January day. Their grins are mirrored by those of the two children that burst through the portal, whooping with delight and spreading their arms to the open air as if to hold it all between their arms and wait- no way-

Time stops as the shouts travel the streets. People emerge disbelieving from their houses, crying and cheering the two boys on as they stumble along the path, bloodied and singed and a little worse for wear, but grinning and happy and so incredibly alive. Their voices rise in victory, the funeral flowers are torn into confetti and flags appear at each window and door.

People keep their distance for the most part, choosing instead to seek out and inform loved ones, but there's a select few; members of the original L'Manberg, siblings of Pogtopia, residents of Snowchester that venture closer, never asking questions, but watching and following as Tommy and Tubbo make their way to their bench. They turn to acknowledge them, asking for their privacy, and playing them a disk in return. The grins on their faces rival the sun in the sky, and the notes from the jukebox tell the people everything they need to know: they won.

In an act of glorious catharsis, King Eret of the SMP officially breaks the news. Ecstatic town criers run from the castle to all corners of the land, their voices hoarse within the hour as they relay the news of the triumph of a group of friends and foes alike. The sun emerges from behind the clouds as it begins to slip towards the western horizon, bathing the land in a hazy golden glow. People flood the streets, years of pain and hardship withering away in the afternoon sun, as an entire people experience collective catharsis.

Slowly, Eret makes their way downtown as the sun sets, marvelling at the celebrations. There's men and women and more drinking on the pavements, teenagers racing around them sharing an endless supply of baked goods and sweets with sticky fingers. Children play up and down the highways with toy swords and shields and masks, and no one has to guess who they're imitating, nor who wins each game. There's young people everywhere, those that Eret recognises and those they don't, with flags wrapped around their shoulders like capes, or scrunched in fists waving in the air - three crosses and a heart and a burst of yellow - revelry not unlike when L'Manberg won its independence. Last time, for obvious reasons, Eret was not invited, but this time a kindly young woman runs up to them and offers them a flag. "All hail the king," she says with a smile. "And all hail those that would lose everything for justice."

Overhead, a firework explodes to the tune of a thousand people cheering. Downtown, the bells of Church Prime clamour to be heard over the noise as a cacophony of different songs are traded back and forth between groups gathered on street corners. Eret picks out tales woven to tunes of small glories and unlikely heros; the story of tonight immortalised, an ode to a nation and the men that created it with their bare hands and whispered ideals, the forgotten anthem of a country with all the words garbled and broken up with laughter. From one side of the street they hear 'All hail the King!' and from the other 'Fuck Eret!', but their smile is reflected on both.

However, the closer to their destination they get, the more the groups gather into a raucous chorus, the displaced people of a nation singing as one. L'Manberg was never truly lost on Doomsday: Eret came to know that the night before, when their fortress became the last refuge of the L'Manbergians. Her people have merely been scattered, but they carry their customs far and wide. And right now, their ditty of choice is a drinking song, loudly, defiantly proclaiming: "The world turned upside down!"

"Can you hear them?" Eret asks quietly as they arrive at their destination. "They're singing for you."

The various flags of a deceased nation hang in the boughs of the tree that shelters them, their many colours softly illuminated by the last light of a momentous day. The low tones of an old song crackles from the jukebox, and though they know it was always bigger than the music, Eret reckons those tunes are worth dying for. They chuckle softly at themself and take out the blanket they've been carrying to do what they left the party to do. The two boys - just a couple unlucky, stubborn, determined children - sit on the bench, arms around each other and heads tilted together in slumber. Even in sleep they are smiling, and Eret hopes they can't hear the fireworks downtown, for everyone's sake. They thought of covering them with some of the flags, but those would look too much like death shrouds, and these kids are still very much alive. No, the king bows before them as they wrap them in a blanket and leave them to their rest. God knows they deserve it.

They won.

[wiiildflowerrr]

5 Seconds of Summer are learning how to be happy: ‘There’s parts of our career that I don’t remember’

The Guardian, 20 September 2022

The Australian pop band are all still in their 20s, but have spent a decade touring and recording ‘in an endless loop’. Now they’ve swapped parties for feeling at peace

Eleven years since four Australian schoolboys were spotted covering Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber songs on YouTube, plucked from obscurity and planted on some of the world’s biggest stages, 5 Seconds of Summer are starting fresh. A few months before they are set to perform two sold-out homecoming shows on the Sydney Opera House forecourt, they’re celebrating the release of 5SOS5, their (fittingly titled) fifth studio record – and their first to be released independently. They’re seizing control, in more ways than one.

But first, Luke Hemmings (vocals/guitar), Ashton Irwin (vocals/drums), Michael Clifford (vocals/guitar) and Calum Hood (vocals/bass) are confronting another monumental creative task: an album release show at London’s Royal Albert Hall. It is not just a venue of global significance but also personal significance: they once busked outside the concert hall while on a trip to London in their formative years. This time, they’ll be inside, and accompanied by an orchestra.

“I think when [the shows] come about, I’m gonna be very stressed out and I’m gonna try to enjoy it and not just focus on how stressed I am,” Hemmings says, sitting with Irwin in a studio in Eagle Rock, California. “I want to enjoy it and be able to fully remember it, because there’s parts of our career that I don’t remember, just from sheer volume and not being present.”

To fully comprehend the band’s meteoric rise over the past 11 years would be an incredible feat for anyone, let alone a teenager. Barely a year after 5SOS’s first show in 2011, to a dozen people in Sydney’s Annandale hotel, they embarked on an almost 100-date world tour as the support act for One Direction. By then, they were playing to more than 80,000 people over four nights at Sydney’s Allphones Arena.

In those days, as the popularity of boybands such as One Direction and BTS were rising to a level that threatened the sound barrier, 5SOS were forging a different kind of path. They had a fresh, dynamic quality, drawing as they did on the pop-punk they grew up with. All four were born in the shadow of Green Day’s 1994 breakthrough Dookie (Irwin, now 28, is the oldest member of 5SOS), and they repackaged that chart-topping punk for a new generation. Within a few years, 5SOS became the only band in history to land at No 1 on the Billboard 200 with each of their first three studio albums.

It’s almost like we were coming back to the basics of the band.

They’ve since collected five Aria awards at home, along with plenty of hardware overseas, and outlasted the band that gave them that early leg-up (One Direction has been on hiatus since 2015). Their 2018 song Youngblood became the biggest-selling single in Australia that year, then the country’s 11th bestselling single of all time, ranking 5SOS among AC/DC, Vance Joy and the Kid Laroi. Worldwide, they’ve sold more than 12m albums.

As one of the most successful musical acts in Australian history, it would’ve been easy for 5SOS to simply stick with what worked. They had perfected a formula and were enjoying the spoils. But as pop began shifting towards something similarly emo-influenced – the likes of Olivia Rodrigo and Machine Gun Kelly have been credited with “saving” pop-punk – 5SOS stepped back and shifted gears.

What does it look like for this band to have to pause in a way they haven’t in a decade?

“You suddenly stop and you realise … uh, I’m now sick, and I want to move all the time, no matter what,” Irwin says. “And I don’t know how to not move.”

5 Seconds of Summer perform in Dublin, Ireland. Photograph: Ryan Fleming

The pace of life on the road manifested in physical and emotional illness. In June, Irwin was hospitalised for extreme heat exhaustion during a show in Texas. He’s been sober since 2019 and has experienced body dysmorphia – something he wrote about on his song Skinny Skinny, from his debut solo album. Spending a decade under the glare of cameras and fame contribute their own kind of spiritual illness, too.

The pandemic was a “forced stop” for the whole band, and one that created a relieving kind of freedom. They decamped to Joshua Tree to think and write together, without the same cycle of promotion and touring they had come to associate with making music. When a producer’s planned visit to their makeshift studio was derailed by a flat tire, Clifford stepped into the role and drove the sonic direction for 5SOS5, producing much of the record himself.

“We had a bit more time to reflect on everything that had happened to us – as opposed to in years previous, where we just were writing an album, going on tour, writing an album, going on tour,” Irwin says. “It was, in ways, an endless loop.”

They reflected on how their rapid rise had, Irwin says, “affected us personally, mentally, physically and philosophically. So we just dove into that feeling, and rode off into the sunset with it.”

In one of the early singles from the new album, Me, Myself and I, Hemmings sings of being a pit of need; getting what he wants, but still not feeling satisfied. “A lot of [the new album] is about romantic relationships and friendships,” he says. “But it’s more about realising that maybe you don’t have as many emotional tools in the tool belt to figure out why they affect you.”

‘You suddenly stop [touring] and you realise … uh, I’m now sick, and I want to move all the time, no matter what’ … 5 Seconds of Summer. Photograph: Andy DeLuca

Only a few albums into their career, the cheeky upstarts from Sydney had barely hit their 20s when they started to experience the downside of their overnight success. On More, they sang about “a house that’s full of everything we wanted/but it’s an empty home”. “A band is often a trauma bond because you’ve been through so much together,” Irwin told NME in 2020.

Just a few years earlier, a Rolling Stone cover story painted 5SOS out to be debaucherous kids making the most of a good thing: partying hard and burning bright, but destined to be snuffed out. The people in that story couldn’t appear more different to the ones in front of me now. Hemmings seems intent on interrogating the emotional root of his songwriting; like Irwin, he released a solo record last year. And Irwin is pursuing creativity of all kinds, in the open-hearted way countless new arrivals to LA have done before him. They’re still young adults – but adults all the same, confronting what it means to be “on the other side of 24”, seeing scenes change and people fade out of view.

In the press biography for the new album, Irwin speaks of how he and his bandmates have made a conscious and active choice to show up, to be in the band for another day. Nothing about the band, or their new album or where they end up will be by default.

“When we decided to write together [in 2020], we had started to heal ourselves from moving so much and at such a high pace,” Irwin says. “And that, in turn, began to heal our creative relationship together.”

“Healthy” is a word that comes up often during our conversation; Hemmings and Irwin speak of having healthy goals and patterns, ensuring their health is a priority, having their own lives outside the band – “in a healthy way,” Hemmings clarifies. Getting out of each other’s pockets enabled them to find a new way forward, together.

“It’s almost like we were coming back to the basics of the band,” Hemmings says. And after an era defined by feeling heavy and weighed down, he says that these days, “we’re trying to get that light across.” X

[teddy06writes]

It Was Yours, Why Does It Have To Be Mine?

Requested by this anon who decided to break my heart: “Hear me out. Dream x fem!reader angst. Originally, the reader was the one who wore the smiley faced mask. Dream and the reader were in love and dream proposed, reader said yes, then later that night, the reader passed away (either sickness or getting hurt idc) and in order to keep her memory, dream wears the mask in her absence.” 

Dream x fem!reader

trigger warnings: some swears, character death, general angst

premise: in game au; You and Dream have been together since what feels like the beginning of time, and it had always seemed like you would be together, and now he had finally had the confidence to propose, unfortunately, Wilbur and his new developing country of L’manburg have other plans for you

{hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this one hurt}

{I listened to Sebelius : Finlandia Op.26 on repeat while writting this and only questioned my sanity twice}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You giggled, “Where are we goingg?”

“Somewhere special,” Dream said, raising your entwined hands enough to press a kiss to your knuckles, “Trust me, your going to love it.” 

You laughed again, free hand reaching back to adjust the knot holding your mask in pace, “You’re ridiculous.” 

Today had marked the four year anniversary since you and Dream had started dating officially, and he had insisted in abandoning all his duties to the smp for a day to take you out. 

The two of you had been wandering through the woods for a while now, and you were fairly convinced that he had no idea where he was going, but still you didn’t say anything. 

“It should be just through here.” He said, leading you down between two trees. 

A moment later you came into a clearing, decorated with lights, a picnic set up in the middle, with a perfect view of the rest of the hill side. 

“Oh my god!” You squeaked. 

“You like it?” He asked. 

“I love it! This is so cute, Dream!” 

Dream chuckled, “Bad found the spot, and I got Sapnap to help get all this stuff out here.” 

You grinned to a point where he could tell even with your mask on, “It’s perfect.”

Carefully he flicked at the edge of the wide mask, “Take that stupid thing off and kiss me.” 

“It’s not stupid!” You protested, “Come on Dream just kiss the smiley face, its good enough.” 

Reluctantly he pressed a kiss to the mask and you beamed, immediately moving to slip it off,  kissing him properly before going to sit down on the picnic blanket.

You looked back up at him, “While don’t just stand there, come on! Sit with me!” 

~~ A while later, after the food had been eaten, you were leaned back against Dream, eyes closed happily, mask still off to the side, “Thank you, for this.” 

“Of course.” He smiled, “But, uh, actually there's one other thing?” 

You hummed, peaking up at him, “Whats that?” 

“Well- I- I’ve been thinking about it for a while and- well- I was wondering, if you’d- if you’d marry me?” He asked. 

Your eyes shot open to see the ring box in his hand, “Your- you’re not kidding? This is real- this is for real?” 

“Course its real,” He chuckled, “Would you rather have me get on one knee to prove it?” 

Dream quickly maneuvered to be In front of you, on one knee, the ring box held out in front of him, “I have loved you, since the beginning of time (y/n) and now I’m asking you to become my wife.” 

Your hands moved to your face in shock for a moment before dropping back down as you practically tackled him, “Oh my god!”

“Is that a yes then?” He chuckled, doing his best to sit up with your weight still on him. 

You nodded eagerly, and he slipped the ring onto your finger, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Dream grinned, kissing you once more- only to be distracted by a yell from down the hill. 

“Dream! Dream!” 

“Oh god,” He muttered, standing up, “I’ll be right back” 

You stood as well, stooping to grab your mask and fastening it on your face before following him. 

By the time you had caught up, Sapnap was giving a report on what was going on. 

“He’s starting a new country- says their starting a rebellion.” 

“Who is?” You asked. 

“Wilbur,” Sapnap said curtly, motioning over to where wall were being built, “TommyInnt, Tubbo and Eret have all joined this crazy plan.” 

“Thats insane.” You muttered. 

Dream frowned, “I won’t have this. We’ll stop them. Sapnap, see too it that all of there resources are destroyed.”

The man nodded, and hurried away, already pulling out his flint and steel, and Dream turned to you, “This is the exact opposite of what I was hoping for today.” 

“We’ll figure it out, together.” You assured. 

~~

Later that night, after you had returned home, Dream had gone out again, hoping for a civilized discussion with Wilbur, before getting launched into any war. 

He stood at the gates of L’manburg, looking up at were Tubbo sat on watch, “I need to speak to Wilbur.” 

“Why?” Tubbo challenged. 

Dream crossed his arms, “Because this doesn’t have to become something bloody and violent, now get inside and get him.” 

Scared, Tubbo quickly scrambled down off the wall and toward one of the buildings that had risen with the walls. 

A moment later he came back to open the gates, Wilbur following behind, “I was beginning to wonder when you would show up. I knew you’d have a problem with this.” 

“Wilbur whatever this is it needs to be shut down, now.” 

“That's exactly what I thought you’d say,” Wilbur said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “That's what tyrants always say.”

“I am not a tyrant!” Dream protested. 

“Is that why you’re forcing your agenda on us? Read the fucking message dick head, we don’t want to deal with you any longer. ‘ere. read this, its the conditions of our independence. We are free and there is nothing you can do to stop us.” 

Dream took the book Tubbo thrust into his hands, ‘the declaration of independance’ 

“Forever the nation of the dream smp has cast sin upon our great land of the hto dog van,” Wilbur quoted, “This book declarers that the nation that shall hence forth be known as the L’manburg is free and independent from the DreamSmp, totally, completely and wholly.” 

“You’re starting a fight you can’t finish.” Dream warned, handing the book back. 

Wilbur scoffed, “On the contrary Dream. You’ve threatened a country that is more than willing to fight back. Tommy, hurry up and get inside!” 

As Wilbur barked the last words Dream turned to see Tommy coming out the darkness, an empty bottle in one hand and a dagger stained a dull rust color in the other. 

“It’s done.” The teen muttered. 

“She put up a fight?” Wilbur asked. 

Tommy, even scared by what he’d done, couldn’t help but look at Dream, a glint in his eye, “(y/n) won’t be a problem anymore.” 

On pure instinct Dream ran, the only thing in his mind that he had to get to you. 

The stillness of the house was broken as Dream crashed through the door, “(y/n)? (y/n)?!” 

Shaking he moved through the house, the was no sign of a struggle, no sign of a break in, but there was a slight lingering affect of a potion in the doorway leading to your shared bedroom. 

From the color of the particles he knew it had been weakness, and he carefully pushed through into the room. 

It was dark, and for a moment, with your form stretched out in bed, he could almost think that everything was fine, that you were just asleep, waiting for him. 

Turning on a light he saw that the reality was much different. 

Blood pooled around you, dripping from the bed and soaking the sheets, evidently coming from the gaping holes in your stomach. 

The worst part of it was the mask clasped in your hands, held out, almost like you were offering it to him. 

“(y/n)...” He whimpered, still frozen in the door, “What do I do? Now that your gone? Oh god what did he do to you?” 

Some how the fact that Tommy had seen your face, the one thing you kept hidden from everyone, except him, seemed to hit Dream the hardest, even as you lay dead. 

Slowly, he moved forward, taking the mask from your hands.

~~ Dream stood at the top of the hill, looking over the crater. 

Somewhere off to the side Phil and Techno were celebrating the victory over everyone, the huge hole where L’manburg had been stretching all the way down the bed rock. 

The porcelain was cold against his face, but Dream had long since gotten used to the uncomfortable feeling of the mask. 

With the mask that you had given him, the mask he had unwillingly taken from you had kept everyone from knowing his pain. And now, he had made sure they felt all of yours and his own. 

The chain with your engagement rings felt heavy around his neck, but he couldn’t help grin at Tommy, who had barley made it out of the wreckage, “Looks like you won’t be a problem anymore.” 

[luimnigh]

I was wondering, what does the celebration of St. Patrick’s Sat look like in Ireland?

Honest answer?

Exactly how it looks like in America. 

Seriously. Parades, activities, events, marching bands, floats, the massive amounts of alcohol consumption, the whole shebang. 

We actually copied you. 

New York has been having St Patrick’s Day parades for over two-hundred and fifty years, meanwhile our first parade was in 1903. 

Before that, it was a Catholic feast day. You might get the day off, you went to Mass, and Lent was suspended for the day in celebration, which is where the drinking comes in. 

(Though the sale of alcohol on St Patrick’s was banned from 1927 to 1961.)

Basically, it seems to have started being a “thing” as a rallying point for the Irish Diaspora, a way to celebrate their heritage and ancestral homeland. It came over here at the turn of the 20th century to instead serve to promote Irish nationalism, as appetite for independence from the UK was growing at that stage, and it helped fuel it. 

After we achieved independence, it took the Irish Government a decade to actually start organizing St Patrick’s Day parades and activities. Since the 1990s, our Government has been using it as an opportunity to promote Ireland abroad, as the modernization of our economy relies heavily on multinational corporations investing in Ireland. 

Honestly, we use it as a celebration of Ireland nowadays because we don’t have an Independence Day. Because “when did Ireland gained independence” has four arguably legitimate answers, so it’s easier to go with St Patrick’s. 

I’d say the biggest difference between Ireland and America is that we hold events over a five day “St Patrick’s Festival”, we get the day off, and we also promote the use of the Irish Language. 

A festival of the Irish language runs events across the country in the leadup to St Patrick’s, called “Seachtain na Gaeilge”, or “Week of Irish”. 

It runs from March 1st to March 17th.

Yes, I know that’s more than a week. 

[aurora-daily]

Aurora: “People attack people that are different so quickly”

Interview by Aleksandra Brzezicka for Dork magazine (August 4th, 2021).

Aurora has paid a few visits to the world of mainstream media so far. You might know her from John Lewis Christmas advert, feature on ‘Into The Unknown’ for Frozen II or, most recently, ‘Runaway’ challenge where people would pose against a starry sky to the sound of her, now trending, song.

“I know for sure that ‘Runway’ can be a very good friend in times of need. It has been to me, and it’s always been nice for me to sing that on stage throughout my years of touring because it always brought me comfort,” she says.  

Still, Aurora’s much more than your everyday social media sensation; she’s a soul-touching, 25-year-old Norwegian musician with an international cult following. Ever since the 2016 debut album ‘All My Demons Greeting Me As A Friend’, like an empress, she’s been calling on with an ethereal voice all the outcasts to join her queendom. It’s a sanctuary ruled by the laws of magic and build on the solid soils of equality. Who wouldn’t want in?  

“I go very deep within myself when I write songs, and I feel like that place I go to could be a magical world. I’ve always felt like I want music to be a way for us to face ourselves and our emotions,” she shares. “I try to make sure that people can disappear into this other place, and it’s a bit better than this world. I feel like it’s important for us sometimes to dream ourselves away and just be safe for a little while before we go back to the real world.”

The real world can be a scary place, especially if you feel like you don’t belong anywhere in particular. That’s why Aurora is making her grand comeback with ‘Cure For Me’, a new single that’s a playful spin on a very serious subject. “Inspiration for the song was mainly the countries where they can still do conversion therapy for gay people. I was just imagining how it must feel to be brought into place and be told that what you are is wrong and you need to be cured of it. Cured of your love. I thought how insanely helpless you must feel and how horrible it is and everything in the world that makes us believe that there’s something wrong with us,” she comments.    

Aurora dug deep into society’s perverted psyche, trying to understand our tendency to undermine ourselves and question reality based on archaic views that never served us right. ‘Cure For Me’ is a declaration of independence from that cracked cycle. “It’s a celebration of everyone that’s been told that there’s something wrong with them. Nothing is wrong with us, and we should just embrace ourselves and let ourselves be. People attack people that are different so quickly. It’s a celebration anthem to reassure yourself that you’re fine,” she confides.  

Though the single came to life two years ago, in the midst of touring, the time for it to be out is now, when every day can feel like we’re on the verge of some new catastrophe. “It’s a very fun song, and it’s very playful because we need it. I think we need it, the playfulness,” Aurora says.  

After spending what was like a lifetime away, gracing international stages, Aurora felt a sense of relief finally being able to hide away in the cold cosiness of her Norwegian hometown. Surrounded by nature, closest family, books and art, she contemplated the meaning of broadly-defined existence and everyday hassles. “It made me thinking how much work we have to do, and it had also reminded me how strange this world is and how many things don’t really matter,” she says. That strangeness is a motif often underlining her music as it was from another universe. A universe where you can run with the wolves and dance on the moon. Entry fee is a small amount of child-like naivety and a strong desire to believe.

Asked what would she would do wielding any magic power she wishes, Aurora says: “Go back in history and prevent the fact that Europe took all the resources from Africa. Just prevent all of the things that made the world as it is today. People are at war and starving because many, many years ago, other countries took everything they had, so they were left with nothing. If people can just stop being hungry for more when they more than enough or they have enough because so many people have nothing. It should be a simple thing to fix. I don’t understand why some people need to have everything.”  

As exciting it is to be one of the most interesting, and successful, voices on the alternative music scene, standing in the spotlight can be tiring after a while. That’s why, whenever in need of a recharge and a slight shift of perspective, Aurora confides in nature. She’s lucky enough to see mountains from her Bergan apartment. “Nature keeps me very inspired because I love her, and also, she’s in pain. She’s given us so much, and she’s so diverse. Multi-diverse. She’s beautiful, dangerous and sensitive. It’s very inspiring for me to think about Mother Earth and all of her powers. Her hardness and softness. It’s very spiritual and magical for me. Like music.”  

While Aurora’s magic is sourced somewhere out-of-this-world, she doesn’t want to keep it locked there. The goal has always been to share it with anyone who might need it as much as she does. Her tribe of daydreamers stays grounded to reality and ready to stand up against any inequalities and insensitivities of this era.    

“I’m very inspired by people around me because people are going through so many things, and they all think that they’re alone when in reality there are so many people going through exactly the same. We can just speak about it, and we don’t. That’s very fascinating to me how scared we are of opening up,” she shares. If Aurora says so, maybe we shouldn’t run away anymore. Following her lead, let’s learn how to open our hearts to each other. Even if only a little bit.

[hannawatchesesc]

Kinda a (long) rant about this movie situation.

I have seen a lot of posts (mainly from States) saying that Europeans are way too sensitive about this Fire Saga what ever situation, that the movie should be taken with a sense of humour, and that people from States doesn't even care about our stupid competition (when joked that they made this movie because of jealousy.)

Please note that this isn't the end of the world, or the most pressing issue to be solved, and Eurovision fandom surely knows it. Still, it doesn't change the fact, that this movie wasn't the Eurovision representation we hoped for.

TL;DR in the end

So here me out.

I'm not even ashamed to say, that this Eurovision movie didn't spark a joy in me, and that I'm tired of people who don't understand Europe, and the worth of Eurovision for this continent.

Eurovision is one (1) single thing, that honestly unites Europe. The European Union consists 27 countries, and the whole continent 51. There are about 750 million people living here, and about 450 million in the Union. So obviously the cultural differences here are huge.

These 51 countries includes: one of the most powerful countries in the world, a dictatorship, few countries with worrying state of democracy. Poor countries, rich countries, welfare states, countries which have faced a devastating humanitarian crises and wars no longer than 30 years ago, old countries, and countries not older than 10 years.

Creating unified European identity is really hard, even within the Union. And we are always compared to other parts of the world as the European Union. Sure, it's a great comparison since the Union and the States are approximately same size in population, but this erases the fact that there are 27 independent nation states in the Union with their own norms, laws and leaders. Not to mention, that Europe ≠ European Union.

We don't have sports, politics, religions or even cultures, which could unify whole continet. So to be able to unite it once a year is a miracle, that shouldn't be belittled or say that it is useless.

Eurovision has a long, succesful history of doing this. First contest was held in 1956, to unify war torn continent. Lets not forget, Europe was devided ideologically and politically. Old enemies were suddenly friends, and old friends were now enemies. Many countries were in ruins both literally and figuratively. It's not a small thing if a song contest is able to do this barely a decade after a world war tore through whole Europe, and keeps doing so six decades later.

ESC might be silly and over the top, but it's our silly and over the top. It's one thing Europeans can discuss with each other and everyone can understand the concept. It's a safe platform for marginalized groups to show their art and communities in a very large and public place, and in countries that tries to deny those communities. It isn't only about the music, it's about the possibility to share our cultures as well as be as freely who we are, when not everyone has right to do so in their every day life. Eurovision isn't without a flaws, but it has shown it's commitment to human rights more than once in recent years.

Eurovision is also a few of those things, that is truly ours (and Australians, but you know.) We live in a world full of news about US. Past four years I don't remember a single day reading/watching our national news and not seeing news from across the pond.

Sure US politics have been kinda crazy lately, but I have a hunch, that most of people there cannot tell as much about a European country's (not UK) politics, as Europeans can about US politics. We read, write and post about problematic politics in the States constantly, and worry how their foreign policy desicions will affect our countries.

And it is not just about politics. We watch American movies, tv shows, read American books, eat American foods and follow American celebrities. We use US based platforms; US based companies collect and sell our data. To be able to understand (internet) culture we need to speak English and understand how the States works as a society.

We live in very US centric world right now, that is unavoidable, but I wish Americans would regonise that. There are many issues in US that are not relatable in European countries (example gun violence, or electoral colleges). We have own problems in our countries, and yet we still need to hear about and understand yours all the time, whether we wanted it or not.

Eurovision is one piece of culture that is just European. There is a reason why we don't want Americans to be involved. We don't really care if you don't care, we are going to make these jokes anyways, because we have to care so much about your problems and culture. This is our moment to atleast pretend that US doesn't matter. Once a year we can be in our own bubble without worrying if there is going to be nuclear war next week.

So sure, we are going to be salty and sensitive about this, but it is going to be a big of a deal for like 6 days max. We are going to return to post about BLM, and gun laws and Donald Trump. But I think we have a right to be salty. Some Americans (who don't even care about our stupid competition) made a movie about our thing, made some beginner level mistakes and used the most tired European/Eurovision stereotypes.

Will Farrell maybe great guy and Eurovision fan, but it isn't the same. I know they probably tried their best to make this fun and light, but it wasn't probably the best way to tell about Eurovision for wider audience.

Maybe, just maybe this could have been our movie to make, and our story to tell? There isn't that many European movies about Superbowl, is there?

TL;DR

Living in the US Centric world is really tiring sometimes as we need to learn and understand at least our own countries and US politics and cultures, and stress about said politics' effects on our countries and continent. Beside that, we have our neigbouring countries and European Union to worry about.

Eurovision is one thing that unifies Europe and its vastly different countries. It's okay not to understand it, but being disrespectful about it is just super rude. Europe is full of problematic shit and we know it, but Eurovision isn't one of them, so just leave it alone.

[mrmrswales]

Introducing THE EARTHSHOT PRIZE, the most prestigious global environment prize in history.

“The Earth is at a tipping point and we face a stark choice: either we continue as we are and irreparably damage our planet, or we remember our unique power as human beings and our continual ability to lead, innovate and problem-solve. People can achieve great things. The next ten years present us with one of our greatest tests – a decade of action to repair the Earth.“ - Prince William

Five, one million-pound prizes will be awarded each year for the next ten years, providing at least 50 solutions to the world’s greatest environmental problems by 2030.

The Earthshot Prize is about much more than awarding achievement – it is a decade of action to convene the environmental world with funders, businesses and individuals to maximise impact and take solutions to scale, to celebrate the people and places driving change; and to inspire people all over the world to work together to repair the planet.

The Earthshot Prize is centred around five ‘Earthshots’ – simple but ambitious goals for our planet which if achieved by 2030 will improve life for us all, for generations to come. Each Earthshot is underpinned by scientifically agreed targets including the UN Sustainable Development Goals and other internationally recognised measures to help repair our planet.

Together, they form a unique set of challenges rooted in science, which aim to generate new ways of thinking, as well as new technologies, systems, policies and solutions. By bringing these five critical issues together, The Earthshot Prize recognises the interconnectivity between environmental challenges and the urgent need to tackle them together.

THE EARTHSHOTS:

Protect & Restore Nature

Species all over the world face extinction as their homes are destroyed, but destroying nature threatens our lives too.

Forests and natural land are vital to human health and happiness, helping to prevent global warming and producing oxygen that we breathe. We must act now to protect our future.

We choose to repair and preserve the habitats that our animals need to live, from rainforests and grasslands, to wetlands, lakes and rivers.

We will award The Earthshot Prize to the most outstanding efforts to meet this challenge. To the conservationists who put a stop to poaching and illegal wildlife trafficking; to the landowners who create job opportunities for people who look after natural land; and to the entrepreneurs who help scale solutions for planting billions more trees that will secure the health and safety of generations to come.

Clean Our Air

Millions of children all over the world breathe toxic air every day, causing countless deaths that could be prevented.

We refuse to accept this – clean air and healthy lives are within our reach.We choose to end outdated transport that emits toxic fumes, remove pollution from the air using both technology and nature, and eliminate the burning of fossil fuels, choosing 100% renewable energy for everyone – from big cities to rural villages.

We will award The Earthshot Prize to the most outstanding efforts to meet this challenge. To the innovators who create job opportunities in green transport and clean energy; to the businesses who remove more pollution from the air than they put into it; and to the communities who let us heat our homes, travel to work and feed our families without polluting the air that we breathe.

Revive Our Oceans

Warmer temperatures, pollution and harmful fishing practices are having devastating impacts on the ocean, putting life underwater in jeopardy.

But this decade we can choose to make our ocean healthy.

We refuse to accept a world where turtles, dolphins and coral reefs vanish from our seas.We choose to bring forward a new era where everyone uses the ocean sustainably.

We will award The Earthshot Prize to the most outstanding efforts to meet this challenge. To the innovators who revolutionise our understanding of life underwater; to the leaders who end criminal and unsustainable fishing practices; and to the technologists who repair coral reefs and show us how to remove pollution from the ocean on a global scale.

We choose a future where our children can enjoy the ocean for years to come, and where the ocean can continue to sustain and enrich all life on Earth.

Build A Waste-Free World

The world we have built is not like this; we throw everything away, and this is harming our planet.But we have the power to build something better.

We choose to eliminate food waste, single-use packaging, and inspire a new generation of people, companies, and industries to reuse, repurpose, and recycle.

We will award The Earthshot Prize to the most outstanding efforts to meet this challenge. To the organisations that are eliminating single-use products and packaging; to the cities that revolutionise their waste management systems; and to the innovators who give new life to things destined for landfill.We choose to build a system that can work forever, where people everywhere can live safe, healthy and happy lives, without waste.

Fix Our Climate

Carbon in the atmosphere is making our planet warmer, to levels which threaten all life on Earth.

But it is not too late; if we act now, we can make the world a better, more sustainable home for everyone.We will combat climate change by removing more carbon from the atmosphere than we put into it and ensuring all countries reach net-zero greenhouse gas emissions. We will build defences to protect innocent people from climate driven disasters and crises.

We will award The Earthshot Prize to the most outstanding efforts to meet this challenge. To the cities or countries who reach net-zero emissions; to the leaders who create millions of new jobs in a carbon neutral economy; to the technologists who remove carbon from the atmosphere on a global scale, whilst protecting human life and nature.

We choose to fix our climate so that life everywhere can thrive for generations to come.

The Prize

Every year, The Earthshot Prize will be awarded to five inspiring solutions to each of the five Earthshots – simple but ambitious goals, underpinned by scientifically agreed targets, which if achieved by 2030 will improve life for us all, for generations to come.

Nominations will open on 1st November, with over 100 nominating partners from across the world being invited to submit nominations of those individuals, communities, businesses and organisations who could win The Earthshot Prize. Nominators will include our Global Alliance but also academic and non-profit institutions from across the world who have been selected for their ability to identify the most impactful solutions to the Earthshots.

The 5-stage prize process to select a winner for each Earthshot has been designed in partnership with the Centre for Public Impact and a range of international experts.

Nominations: The nominators will seek out solutions from across the globe that will help reach our Earthshots.

Screening: Nominations will be screened as part of an independent assessment process run by Deloitte, the implementation partner.

Shortlist: A distinguished panel of experts will support the judging process, making recommendations to The Earthshot Prize Council.

Selection: Prince William and The Earthshot Prize Councill select five winners.

Award Ceremony: The winners of The Earthshot Prize are announced at an awards ceremony which will take place in different cities across the world each year between 2021 and 2030.

The Earthshot Council:

Prince William, an advocate for conserving the natural world, he has led international efforts to crack down on the illegal wildlife trade, through United for Wildlife, helped deliver an ivory ban in the UK.

Shakira, Colombian singer-songwriter and multi-GRAMMY award winner

Sir David Attemborough, British broadcaster, writer, and naturalist.

Indra Nooyi, former chairman and CEO of PepsiCo.

Daniel Alves Da Silva, world renowned Brazilian football player.

Christina Figueres, Costan Rican citizen and an internationally recognized leader on climate change.

Yao Ming, founder of Yao Ming Foundation, global Ambassador for Special Olympics.

Cate Blanchett, internationally acclaimed and multi award-winning actress, producer, humanitarian, and dedicated member of the arts community.

Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah, internationally human rights advocate.

Hindou Oumarou Ibrahim, enviromental activist and member of Chad’s pastoralist Mbororo community.

Naoko Yamazaki, ex Astronaut, member of Space Policy Committe of Cabinet Office.

Jack Ma, founder of Alibaba group. He has been appointed by the United Nations Secretary as Co-chair of the UN High-Level panel on Digital Cooperation since 2018.

Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, economist and international development expert.

[pinencurls]

“I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

Hiii so this is my entry to @stellarboystyles‘s three year anniversary fic challenge! I’ve been busy with getting ready for classes starting and balancing other stuff so I wrote it on and off for a week and a bit but I hope you all enjoy! Feedback is so so encouraged and appreciated <3 

Here’s my masterlist of some other stuff I’ve written x 

Enemies (more like friends but oops) to lovers, prompt 9 “I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.”

14k+ :) Not read through sorry! pls let me know of any mistakes and I’ll correct them <3 (also i k n o w the title's bad but i couldn’t think of anything, pls feel free to leave any recs.)

- - - - 

It isn’t that I hate Harry. He just makes me feel...insecure. He’s never said or done anything directly but it’s hard to feel good about yourself when all your closest confidants seem to compare you to somebody else, somebody they so clearly hold higher above you. There wasn’t a single day I could meet a mutual friend of mine and Harry’s and not have them sing his praises, and apparently everyone was a mutual friend. I’ve known Julia and Theo for years, we all met in uni when they first started going out but it wasn’t until a year ago that I somehow ended up finding myself a regular within the friendship group they’d formed when they both went into the music and fashion industries. They had ties everywhere and after a pure coincidence of running into them and their circle at a pub, almost all my weekends were spent in various art galleries or new restaurants owned by somebody’s cousin or the guy they met last night at a Fleetwood Mac concert. 

I’d met Harry about five months into hanging out with the group. He’d known them a lot longer than I had, weaving his way into the little pockets of interesting people for years since the x factor. I was busy with work the first few times he was in town but after a while, Nick, the persistent party planner of the group who always managed to wrangle us together, insisted that I just had to meet him.                  . . . . . 

Eleanor’s house is huge and buzzing with hundreds of strangers. I cling to Julia and Theo’s side, Nick and Eleanor are nowhere in sight - most likely playing host or drinking too much chardonnay in another corner of the house. These four are the only people I can say I really know here, sure there are a few familiar faces on the dance floor, either from having met them at any of Eleanor's past elaborate parties or just because of they’re not so subtle fame. That’s another thing, all the people sipping wine and dancing around me are fairly...well known. Either just within the industry or to the general public too, they’d all gain fairly high status. It was a fluke really that I got on so well with Julia when we first met on a fashion course in uni. 

Julia had big goals, all of which she was on track to fulfil, that conflicted slightly with mine. Her goals consisted of runway show models clad in designer brands she might one day contribute to whereas mine were more...anti, that whole world. It took a few years to find a steady footing but eventually, I was proud of where I’d ended up: a comfortable little cubby in the fashion and sustainability columns of a handful of independent magazines. After a few nights out with Julia, I was pleasantly surprised to find her shared interests and solidarity in my work and ambitions of her own within the same ideology. But whilst that’s all well and good, I’m still very much the small indie journalist that slips through the cracks when it comes to small talk at these kinds of events. It became apparent pretty quickly that my latest articles on how fast fashion had begun its destruction of a liveable environment in developing countries weren’t as relevant or interesting to the people promoting Prada and Calvin Klein as the next met gala theme. 

“Do you want another drink?” Theo asks from beside me, pulling my focus from my scan of the room. 

“No thanks..I’m good.” I murmur, debating how long I have to stay before I can slip out and feel a little less awkward around all the people I have no clue how to talk to. “Think I’m gonna head off actually..”

“Look I know you hate networking, but this is just a chill get-together yeah?” Theo chuckles, squeezing my shoulder before taking another sip from his gin and tonic. “We’re in the same boat about these snooty things but tonight’s not like that, relax a bit will ya.” 

Theo works mostly with small-time music artists, producing debut albums and such so we share the same deep discomfort for the many events we often find ourselves at. It’s how we got close really, week after week we’d trail behind Julia as she strikes up conversations with Hollywood elite...and he always makes getting piss drunk in someone’s pool house exceptionally fun. 

Before I can further any excuses about getting home to start on the legitimate and ever-growing pile of work deadlines on my desk, a tall man in far too much Gucci to belong anywhere but in a room full of models and artists makes a beeline straight from the bar to our awkward party. 

“Harry!” Theo shouts, embracing the slightly tipsy man in a hug he reciprocates. 

“It’s been too long mate, how ‘ave you been?” Harry cheers, leaning back from the hug and grinning down at his friend. 

“I’ve been good - busy, enjoying the free bar as always.” Theo jokes, motioning between his and my matching G and T’s. Harry’s eyes wander up from the drink, realisation dawning on his face as he smiles again.

“Ah and you must be the famous Olivia,” He reaches his hand out to mine and shakes it lightly. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, ‘m Harry, it’s good to finally meet you, love.”  

“Likewise.” I smile, trying to suppress the blush his words of endearment tease. I can’t deny the natural charm and charisma everyone always talks about now that it’s hitting me straight on. There’s something about the way he doesn’t hesitate to hold eye contact just that little bit longer that makes the room go still for just a second. He’d got it down to a T.

“Aww I see you two have finally met!” Nick interrupts. My hand falls from Harry’s grip as he’s welcomed into another hug. “About fucking time as well, been trying get this one to take a night off for weeks!”

“I literally came out with you last Thursday!” I counter, not missing the smirk setting on Harry’s face as he watches Nick and I’s back and forth. “And the Saturday before, come to think of it I’m always out with you Nicky.” 

“Not when Harry’s in town though n’ that’s a different kinda night.” Nick laughs, his beer sloshing slightly in his free hand as his other remains draped over Harry’s shoulders. 

That was maybe the first sign of my slight resentment for Harry. All night I wandered around with Theo hearing little bits of conversations, all surrounding the star of the party. I understood this wasn’t his doing, his humility was clear in every one of his bashful attempts to turn the conversation away from his growing achievements and onto literally anything else. He was, however, a self-proclaimed narcissist. Every time somebody would swoon over him and insist he stay the topic of conversation, a smirk tugged at his lips and stayed there as he consumed the endless and animated praise from almost all the party guests. 

I’d expected some of his qualities to be untrue, learning from the past never to believe blindly of someone’s pure character when you didn’t truly know them. Especially when they frequented the gossip columns. But it wasn’t him so much, he was true to his motto of kindness and courteous even as people fawned over him, it was more the attention that surrounded him. As the night went on it became clear what Nick meant even if he didn’t know it himself. A night out with Harry was different because everyone made sure to capitalize off how different he made them feel.

. . . . .

“Can I get you anything else M’am?” The young waitress asks as she clears up my empty mug and saucer. My eyes falter a little as they adjust from the blue light of my laptop I’ve been staring at for the last twenty minutes. 

“Um- oh please could I just get a refill?” I ask. 

“Sure thing - mint tea right?” She smiles, adjusting the mug in her hands to make a quick note. 

 “Yeah..s’perfect - thank you.” She’s gone before she hears my delayed gratitudes, definitely used to the throngs of bemused writers tapping away at their laptops for hours. 

I turn back to my open google doc. So far it’s written in two parts I have no idea how to connect and my senseless rereading hasn’t resulted in any legitimate progress in almost an hour. I’d accept the rut I’m stuck in and work on something else for the day if I didn’t only have the day. Last night had been filled with plans of settling in early and finishing the last two thousand words on an upcoming sustainable clothing brand. That all went out the window of course as my phone buzzed off the kitchen counter with Nick’s insistence of yet another night out to celebrate ending the work week - his was quite different to mine. It was easy to ignore the persistent beeping of my phone as new texts and call notifications popped up every three minutes, but less so when the rhythmic bursts of noise were replaced by knocks on my front door. 

Within 40 minutes of opening it to Nick in a silk shirt and jeans too skinny for someone pushing thirty, I was two drinks in and dancing to Blue DeTiger with a pair of hands on my waist that I didn’t entirely recognise. It was just the six of us: Me, Nick, Ellie, Theo, Julia and Harry.

He was hard to ignore, not that I was trying particularly hard. On the drive over, the limited backseat space in Nick’s car and close proximity had practically forced me into his lap. Even with thighs pressed tightly against each other, we hardly talked, a few polite hellos here and there and then silence as we listened to Eleanor recall her latest night with whichever blonde bassist was her ‘soulmate’ that week. The whole ride over, Harry kept his hands on the thigh closest to the door and leant his shoulders the same way as to touch me as little as possible - which was still quite a lot considering the packed five seater pushing seven passengers. It was fairly common knowledge we weren’t close and I got the feeling he wasn’t too keen on me, but he could at least not act like touching me would be the worst thing ever. 

As the night went on he clung to Theo, ever the cuddly drunk, and I stayed more to the pleasant stranger I’d found on the dance floor.

No meanest was ever intended between us but I couldn’t help but watch the kindergarten like bitterness grow as everyone just loved him. We couldn’t go anywhere without a crying fan or two approaching the sweet and smiling man who always answered their questions affectionately and hugged them goodbye. The times he was out of town were always filled with comments about his absence, as if none of us were good enough without his added presence. I couldn’t help but wonder why they even bothered to bring me into their little group. The lack of closeness between Harry and I felt almost like a lack of closeness to the group as a whole, despite how much my individual friendships with everyone advanced. 

Just as I thank the waitress - Alice, her name tag read, and take the first sip of my third tea (I had to switch after a particularly strong starter coffee) I notice a familiar man out the corner of my eye looking just as rough as me. Of course he’s wearing it better than I am. 

Harry collects a drink from the counter and bows his head slightly in thanks, turning and catching my eye just as he’s on his way out. He waves with his free hand and shoots me a candid smile before making a quick change in direction towards my small table. 

“Long time no see,” He pulls the chair opposite me out a little as he chuckles at his own joke. He perches lightly, temporarily. “How’ve you been?”

“A little hungover, I won’t lie..” I laugh, surprised by the whole encounter. “You?” 

“Same, I might have had a shot or two too many,” I nod knowingly and shut my laptop softly. He sips what smells like coffee before going on. “Are ya workin? Sorry to interrupt.” 

“Oh no- I mean I am but it doesn’t matter really, ‘ve kinda hit a dead end.” His eyes hover, waiting for me to go on. “I was gonna get it done last night but Nick had other plans..” 

“Yeah Nick’ll do that to you,” He laughs, “What’re you writing ‘bout?” 

He leans slightly forwards, holding eye contact and shuffling comfortably into his chair. 

“Oh just this promotional piece on a new company, they’re hiring young women and training them to make these handmade clothes. They’re paying them above minimum wage and focusing on sustainability so this editor I’ve written for before offered me it.” I’m not really sure how sincere he is in his curiosity, he always seems to have time to listen when Julia has a new design plan or Theo’s found a new artist but that’s different really. I stop before I start to ramble, just in case. 

“That’s so cool, what kinda stuff are they making?” He prompts, resting his chin on his fist, imitating the posture of an eager little kid. 

“They've started stocking stuff by other independent artists but mostly dungarees and these cool cord trousers, they’d suit you actually, even got some 70s style ones.” Now that the two worlds are colliding in my head, I can’t help but imagine Harry in a pair of their forest green cords, the wide legs would almost bury his vans but a part of me is pretty sure he’d love them. 

“Thanks, if they come at your recommendation I might have to get my hands on a pair,” He smiles, his tone’s a lot different to the usual polite cheer, it’s difficult to place where it’s landed before he’s talking again. “Reminds me of that show you took us to with the upcycled clothes, all those dungarees made of old quilts - remember?” 

It’d been a small exhibit just outside of London I’d mentioned offhandedly and somehow ended up showing everyone around. It was nice to have them all in my world for an evening. Marcus, a friend of mine from college, had put it together and created a lot of the pieces. He and the others I’d met through my work were fairly shocked to say the least when Harry Styles came traipsing through the doors behind me. All night he quietly asked Nick questions, to which Nick only responded by motioning towards me and wandering off to the bar. 

“I do - I’m surprised you do to be honest.” It slips before I can decide if it sounds passive aggressive or not. To be fair, it had been a surprise to me, meeting everyone at the train station and watching Harry and Nick scramble out a taxi and run towards us. He’d been dressed in proper gallery attire and seemed genuinely thrilled to be joining in on the rare night I actually played host. 

“Course I do, it was a good night...I’d choose it over Nick’s tequila Tuesdays anyday.” His phone buzzes on the table, a text popping up in green. “Oh I- my manager’s waiting sorry.” 

A sheepish smile is accompanied by a loose arm movement towards the door where, out on the street, I see Jeff. He’s shaking his head and motioning for Harry to hurry up. Had Harry sat down to talk to me whilst his manager had been waiting this whole time? 

“It was good running into you, good luck with it all,” He stands. “See you friday yeah?” 

I’d totally forgotten about his “Whenever I’m in town Friday film night.” until he mentioned it. I’d been twice in the past and stayed quietly to my corner of the sofa, only watching as everyone else laughed at whatever romcom had been chosen that night. 

“I-maybe.” He shakes his head as I smile, not quite ready to commit a whole evening to watching Nick raid Harry’s wine cellar. 

“You better, I’m gonna need to hear more ‘bout those cords.” He points his hand in a kind of joking reprimand/wave before he’s gone back down the aisle of tables to the door where Jeff ruffles a hand through his hair and laughs when his hands fly to fix the now birdnest of brown curls. 

I open my laptop back up, skimming over the last few lines I wrote to get myself back on track. I take a sip and my tea’s gone cold. 

. . . . .

“Are you coming to Harry’s tonight?” Eleanor asks down the phone, her voice chipper as she no doubt raids her closet. 

“Maybe, I don’t know..I’ve got this deadline Monday morning that I’m nowhere near meeting.” 

“Come on Liv, we haven’t seen you all properly together since last month, and last week doesn’t count it was too loud to actually talk!” She chimes in, the sound of clothes being tossed to the floor clear in the distant background. “Have you got a problem with Harry or something?” 

“No Elle, of course I don’t-” 

“Then why do you guys never talk? You hardly come with us when he’s around and when you do you barely even say hello.” Eleanor complains, she’s mentioned it in the past but it’s been easy to blow off with excuses of how busy he usually was making his way around the room to greet everyone or how we just hadn’t known each other that long and weren't particularly close yet. 

“I just...I don’t know, I don’t think he likes me very much.” I pause. I still haven't decided what last Saturday was in the cafe. “We’re not really close and I’d prefer not to spend another night listening to people tell him - and everyone else - how great he is.” 

“You’re saying that like he’s some arrogant twit, if you came out with us more you’d see what he’s really like around his friends. Or you know, you could actually talk to him when we’re together and see that he’s not a dick?” 

It was a fair point. I haven’t made much of an effort over the past year to spend any time with him outside of larger gatherings or to have genuine conversations with him that went past the weather or a new jacket one of us had on. Maybe he really is a good guy away from all the pretentious crowds and watchful eyes he usually called to our group. He’d certainly seemed different in the quiet Saturday surroundings of Blondies Coffee Roasters in between sips of coffee. 

“Okay, okay yeah I’ll see you there.” We hang up a couple of minutes later and I’m left alone in my kitchen again.

. . . . . 

“Hey!” Harry cheers as the door swings open to reveal him in yet another pair of flared pants that hung comfortably around his waist. “Come in, come in.” 

We all pile in through the doorway as he steps aside. Arms weaving through each other as we hang coats and jackets and Julia passes Harry the fruit platter she’d made (and scolded us all for picking at on the drive over.) 

“Oh very appropriate,” Harry laughs as he uncovers the tray to reveal an array of sliced watermelon, strawberries and grapes, He sets the fruit down on the table in the lounge for us all to eat and shakes his head lightly. I look up at Julia for an explanation but she’s too busy claiming the comfiest loveseat for the night. “I’m never telling you anything again, Jules.” 

Julia and Harry tease each other for a moment more until Theo catches my confused stares and laughs to himself. 

“Harry wrote a song ‘bout fruit- another one actually,” Theo starts, tucking himself beside Julia and letting her take over before he can finish. “S’not just about fruit though is it H?” 

Harry blushes slightly and settles his glare on Julia as he carries six wine glasses through to the table. 

“‘S about watermelon, it just has some..” He clears his throat as he fumbles for his next sentence. “Other themes to it too.” 

“As if mate,” Theo’s laughter booms, “ Basically Liv, he wrote this new song the other day all about how much he loves to-” 

“Watermelon!” Harry yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Theo. “S’all about how much I love watermelons...I’m a fruit guy.” 

“Oh are we talking about the pussy song?” 

All heads snap round to see Nick, obviously having let himself in and now chuckling softly to himself as he leans against the archway into the room. 

“Oh sorry H, were you tryna give an interview answer?” 

Harry just slaps his palm over his eyes and lets his shoulders shake for a minute before he bounces back to host mode. 

“Okay!” I can’t help but notice how flushed the tips of his ears are as he claps his hands together, desperately trying to move on from the conversation. “Who wants wine?” 

Fifteen minutes later everyone is settled onto the sofas with an array of throws between us and a layout of fruits, crisps and other mid rom com snacks that make me feel bad I left my flat in too much of a hurry to remember anything but hummus. 

“Okay - Sixteen Candles, When Harry Met Sally or Mamma Mia?” Nick calls out, waving the tv remote above his head to get everyone's attention. An outpour of votes follows - you’d think between only six of us we’d be able to sort out a process by now but still we fall into momentary anarchy as the room divides. 

“Mamma Mia is a classic!” Eleanor protests as Nick’s shaking his head. 

“And Billy Crystal isn’t?” He yells back, eyes wide and genuinely offended. 

“Colin Firth is arguably more iconic, Nick really, come on.” Theo sighs. He accepts the high fives Ellie and I reach out to him and saluts us both. 

“We’ve all seen Mamma Mia before though, we’ve never watched When Harry Met Sally all together,” Julia points out, winning a smirk and nod of approval from Nick. 

There’s a beat of silence while Nick weighs up the votes in his head. He tilts to the side slightly and eyes Harry up, our gazes following. 

“Harry?” 

“Ellie?” 

“Come on, you’ve got the last vote here, and I know how much you like Meryl.” Nick gasps a little, the mention of Meryl Streep as a wager to win Harry over to his opposing team was definitely foul play in his eyes. 

“Yeah but he loves When Harry Met Sally...and he is a narcissist..” Julia offers into the debate, a few snickers follow her comment before we all turn to look at Harry. We’re all already half a glass in but I could swear for just a moment his eyes lingered over me, fluttering down to my smile before turning back to announce his decision to Nick. 

“I’m afraid I am in the mood for a bit of Abba,” Cheers and not so subtle murmurs of frustration fill the lounge as Nick scrolls through the Romance bar on Netflix before clicking on the film of just over half of our choosing. 

Everyone goes quiet as the film starts, breaking out into bursts of song only as the cast does. From the conversation in the car, it’s pretty clear everyone has just been through a pretty tiring week. We all tended to pile our workload a little heavy so it was always nice to escape for a few hours at the weekend and relax together.

Just as Voulez-vous plays through the room, a slightly tipsy Nick leans into Harry to serenade the singer with his own rendition. The duo sway slightly, both narrowly avoiding Nick’s wild limbs before there’s a crash and Harry’s cursing. 

“Oh- H, Sorry!” 

Nick’s wine glass that’d been balanced on the coffee table in front of him moments before now lays on its side. The, luckily white, wine trickles down onto the rug but most noticeably splashes into Harry’s lap. I’m not entirely sure how he managed it, it must have flown forwards when it was knocked but Harry quickly stands to access the damage. 

“I’m so sorry Harry I-” 

“Don’t worry mate, I’m just gonna go change and toss these in the wash..could you wipe that up for me?” Nick nods, looking a little less cheerful and a lot more guilty now as Harry makes it way out the room. He calls behind him: “Keep watching I’ll only be a second!” 

Nick finishes wiping down the table and rug just as Harry jogs back into the room. I don’t mean to and I’m never one to check people out..unless very subtly, but I can’t help but let my eyes linger a little. 

He’s still in his plain tee but instead of his fancy pants he’s found some soft wash denim jeans. The whole look paired with his thick rimmed glasses and how his hair's gotten tousled about by Nick throughout the night just made him look so...ordinary. Not in any bad way, anyone who met Harry knew he could never be ordinary, no matter how casual he dressed, but something about seeing him abandon the more dressed up looks and go for the comfortable option just made him seem different. 

In a second his green eyes are complimenting the look too as he gazes down at me. 

“Hi,” He mouths, nobody’s taken much notice of his return, yet another musical number taking everyone’s attention. It’s my turn to blush a little now. I avert my eyes quickly, anywhere really, before sneaking a quick look up at him to smile back. 

Ellie had helped Nick in the “For fucksake save Harry’s rug it probably costs more than your car” mission and had stolen the seat beside him after they were done. It slipped my mind until Harry set the new bottle of wine on the table and sunk down into the space beside me, He curls one leg underneath him and slips me one more smile before turning back to the screen just as Donna and Sam start singing SOS.

. . . . . 

“Ah shit, I think I left my book!” I curse just as we make it down the road to Julia’s car. Parking was shit so by the time we found a spot we’d ended up a good 15 minutes away from Harry’s house. “You guys go on, I’m only round the corner anyway.” 

Theo and Julia were familiar with my stubbornness so let me go, yelling their goodbyes after a few hugs as they drove away, Ellie and Nick do the same as they clamber into a taxi. I turn quickly in the chilly air and make my way back down the street to Harry’s drive, punching in the familiar code at his gate before running up to the door hastily. 

It was open - as always, so I let myself in. He was probably still cleaning the lounge up after we all got a little too tipsy. 

“Hey it’s me...just left my book sorry!” I call down the hallway. It’s quiet despite the light Paul Simon playing in the distance so I make my way quickly to the sofas I’d spent most of the night on, praying to avoid an awkward run-in with Harry. 

Although we’d actually shared some light conversation throughout the night and a handful of smiles, I’m not sure we’re quite at the stage in our friendship that me more or less breaking into his house wouldn’t be awkward to run into. 

The lounge is empty when I get there. The side tables are still littered with wine glasses and tacky red rings on coasters but no Harry in sight. Or book for that matter. 

I start pulling back the cushions carefully - god knows how much they cost. Despite scouring the one spot I’d pretty much clung to the whole night -  incidentally beside Harry -  I have no luck. Nick tossed the book back to me at some point in the night after reading it by my recommendation but knowing him it could have ended up anyway. I follow the breadcrumbs of our night down another hallway as I vaguely remember Nick talking about a certain plot twist as we searched Harry’s kitchen cupboards for the wine he’d sent us off to restock. 

As I come around the white archway into his kitchen I catch a glimpse of him from around the kitchen island. He has his back turned to me but he’s leant forwards against a counter with ring covered fingers clutching the edge, a glass of amber liquid set slightly away from him. 

“Oh, sorry I was just-” He jumps a little at my voice, turning quickly to face me with his now free hands coming up to hold his chest. When his eyes finally meet mine they’re red and it takes a second for him to register the tears still streaming from them before he replies. 

“Shit, fu- what are you..are you alright?” His hands bat between tangling into his hair and wiping the tears from his cheeks, anything to avoid actually looking up at me again. 

“Yeah, I just..um..left my book,” I mumble, taking a step closer to him when I notice how his hands shake as they move timidly around his face. “Harry, what’s wrong?”

“Uuuh um.” He wanders for a moment before slapping a palm lightly atop the counter and pulling out his infamous grin. “Nothing much, how bout you - find your book?” 

“-Harry..” I take another step close, “I know we’re not, ya know..close. But you can talk to me.” 

There’s a beat of silence when he keeps up the act, I’d almost believe it if it wasn’t for his bloodshot eyes and anxious fingers drumming against the tile. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He pauses for a moment, assessing whether or not to tell me whatever’s weighing so heavy on his shoulders. But the dam bursts. 

“Fuckin’ everything Love” He laughs, rubbing his palms over his face. I try to focus on the matter at hand: Harry weeping in his kitchen. But that name’s only ever left his mouth directed at me a handful of times and it’s never made my stomach flutter quite as it did just now. “Just..Fuck I’m so lonely Olivia.” 

I don’t really know any of the details but between conversation - mostly overheard, and the media frenzy, it was hard not to be aware of Harry’s break up two months ago. I can’t claim we were close enough to discuss it, having hardly ever talked beyond trivial issues, but I knew that despite them only being together two or so months, he’d been incredibly distant for the weeks that followed the break up. 

“I hear about you and Aubre..I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for you guys-” Harry laughs almost, a pained sort of chuckle that told me I was way off with this one. 

“It’s not..that isn’t why I..” He takes a deep breath before lifting his head up slightly to focus on where his fingers still tapped out a nervous beat on the counter. “I was lonely before her...and with her. I just, I can’t seem to get it right ever...feels like nobody wants to be with me for the right reasons.” 

“Hey no..what about tonight? Your house was full of so many people who love you yeah? Maybe your bougie wine collection had something to do with it but still,” He laughs at that, peeking up from behind his fringe for just a moment. “They- we love you ‘k?” 

“I know but, ‘clock hits the am and everyone leaves, it just gets...it gets so fucking lonely to see everyone in perfect pairs ya know?” 

I don’t really know what I’m doing but I’m doing it - my arms wrap over his shoulders and lock with a hand at the nape of his neck. We’ve never hugged before beyond a general greeting but anyone watching wouldn’t know it, his face burrows quickly into my shoulder and his arms cocoon over my waist, holding me tightly and slipping under the thick layers of my jacket. 

“I know exactly what you mean, H.” 

The hug lasts longer than I imagined it might. He smells of vanilla and the coffee he brought back in bulk from Jamaica. He lets out a shaky breath and melts further into me, nuzzling my neck softly with the tip of his nose. His curls are soft between my fingers and I find myself shhing him, lulling us both into a tired kind of calm. 

Another moment passes in the silence of his kitchen before Harry lets out an awkward cough and straightens up, pulling out of our hold and immediately covering his face with his palms again. 

“I..sorry Jules and Theo must be waiting for you..” Harry murmured, wiping the last of his tears away and letting his hands fall and fidget by his sides. 

“Oh no don’t worry they..um they already went I was actually just gonna walk.” I tell him, making his head perk up a bit. 

“Wha-It’s past twelve Liv it’s not safe, how far do you even live?” He clears his throat and his voice is clearer now, it feels like a whole different world to the one we were in just a minute ago. 

“It’s fine honestly, only take like thirty minutes walking - I’ve done it before-” I ramble, eager to put this situation behind me before I embarrass myself anymore. 

“No - let me drive you yeah?” Harry shakes his head, adamant. 

“Harry..we’ve been drinking all night, I think that’s more dangerous than me jus’ walking.” I laugh, holding his gaze for a second longer than I usually would - fuck, how do we usually act around each other?

Before I come to a conclusion, his eyes rest heavy on mine and I can see the cogs turning in his brain as he tries to work his way out of this one. Ever the people pleaser. 

“Then stay.” 

“Harry-”

“You said you know how it feels.” He cuts in, unwavering now as he doesn’t let my eyes fall from his. “So stay …’s safer anyway.” 

. . . . . 

“I can take the sofa, really Harry I don’t mind,” I reassure as he tosses me an old t-shirt and joggers to sleep in. “It’s comfier than my bed anyway. 

His guest bedrooms had just been painted and were still pretty fume filled so the sofa or his bed were the only options. For twenty minutes now he’s tried to convince me to take his bed and leave him on the sofa, despite the fact we both know he’s a little too tall to sleep without his feet hanging off the end. 

“But you’re my guest!” He protests again, coming up from his wardrobe to stand in front of me, hand on hips and an expression of concern on his face. 

“And you’re almost six foot!” 

“Hey, I am six foot.” He takes a deep breathe, exhaling through his nose in defeat before speaking again. “Okay, you can sleep on the sofa but if anyone asks I was the perfect host and you bullied me into this.” 

I laugh softly, this whole new side of Harry had never been directed solely at me before and it was honestly refreshing. Usually Nick or another friend was the target of his jokes and playful demeanor and I only noticed it from afar but now he was right in front of me, hauling pillows off his bed and sticking his tongue out when he caught me staring. 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He asks for the third time since I agreed to stay the night. We’ve just finished setting up the sofa to sleep on and despite the duvet and many quilts far more lush than my own actual bed, he seemed unconvinced it was enough. 

“I’m sure” I sit back into the pile of blankets and pillows, tucking my feet underneath me and looking back up at Harry. “If you’re really not, just come watch a film with me and see how cozy it is.” 

The quick change in dynamic was a lot smoother than I’d imagined. Within an hour of being alone together we’d already talked more than in all our past interactions, not to mention how close we’ve gotten. He only nods his head quickly and he’s settling under a quilt beside me, rummaging around for a controller to pull up netflix again. 

“Mamma Mia two?” He asks. 

I chuckle a bit and nod. At the beginning of the evening I hadn’t quite seen it ending in a Mamma Mia marathon with just me and Harry. 

He presses play and as the opening display begins we both lean back into the sofa and pull the blankets up over us. It’s only in the quiet of the first few scenes that I notice we’re matching. We’re both dressed fully in his clothes, grey joggers and t-shirt - his rolling stones, mine fleetwood mac. And it all smells of him. I pull the blanket a little higher over my chest and the faint, but now familiar, scent of vanilla and coffee fills my lungs and for a second all I can focus on is how desperately I want to be in his arms again. 

. . . . .

“-ow” A groggy voice mumbles from above me and I feel myself being pulled forwards slightly against something hard - and warm. 

I’m a few seconds from falling straight back asleep before I feel the painful ache in the side of my neck. I reach a hand up to gauge my current situation and feel my fingers plunging into soft hair - soft hair that ends too soon to be mine. 

“Hi..” I recoil my hand quickly back to my side and push myself up so I’m sitting slightly. I look down and see Harry, half asleep still and hand still resting on my side. 

“Oh-hey sorry,” What do you say when you wake up beside the guy you barely knew but simultaneously had been incredibly vulnerable with just the night before? 

Harry seems to be waking up now and certainly more aware of our predicament as he pulls his hand away from where it was holding firmly onto the material of my - his - t-shirt and pushes himself up to sit against the arm of the sofa. 

“We must have fallen asleep..sorry I didn’t mean too, ya know…” His eyes flutter between where I sit opposite him and the “Are you still watching?” Netflix screen. 

“It’s fine, accidents happen an’ everything.” I smile, slipping out from the warm cocoon of blankets to stand. “I’m just gonna wash up quickly and I’ll be out of you hair.” 

Before I can rush off to tame my hair and hopefully find some toothpaste to rid me of my morning breath, Harry clasps his hand gently around my wrist and tugs slightly to get my attention. 

“Not in a rush Love, I’ll make us some breakfast.” He says it effortlessly, like it was a regular occurrence for us to fall asleep cuddling on his sofa. He stands, groaning as his knees pop appreciatively and lets my hand go before he’s disappearing into the kitchen.

“Okay…” I murmur to myself. “....okay.” 

. . . . .  

Alice is back at my table with my second refill before 11am. I thank her and take a gulp of the fiery ginger tea before reading over the last three paragraphs I just wrote. The spice licks my tongue as I tip the cup up for a second sip; it’s autumn after all. 

In the last two weeks September had slipped into October and all the trees in London had received the memo. I’d been busy, hoaled up in the quietest corner of Blondies the whole time with coffee filling all my senses. I haven’t seen everyone together since that night at Harry’s. I grabbed lunch with Eleanor the Monday afterwards and told her nothing, preferring to avoid the texts my phone amassed over the fortnight. I've turned down all proposed group activities and focused on work instead. To be fair, I do have a lot to get done. There were always seasonal pieces in my to do list and with the weather getting colder it was time I got to them before it was Christmas already. 

I haven’t talked to Harry either. He made us pancakes with blueberries and maple syrup in the morning and we haven’t even texted since; I’m not sure that we even have a private text between us. Eleanor and Julia have told me how much fun they’ve all had the times I’ve politely but persistently declined, I can only assume Harry’s in the mix with them all. He’s in town for awhile if I’m remembering our breakfast chatter correctly, it makes sense that they’re all hanging out together really when they don’t often get time together. Ellie’s phone calls keep me from sliding into thoughts of how easily I could fall right out of the group and not be missed, at least. I was just taking space for work. The fact that most of my afternoons at the cafe disappeared into me analysing anything I might ever have felt or said to Harry means nothing at all. 

Neither does the heightened pace of my heartbeat when he walks through the stiff wooden  doors of Blondies. 

He orders what I assume is his regular black coffee, scans the room for a second and lands directly on me. He hesitates a little to hold my gaze, turning his head to look outside before looking back at me and smiling. He thanks the server and takes a few quick steps towards me, weaving in between the packed tables to my little spot hidden away in the corner. 

“Hi,” He smiles again, although his toneos overshadowed by a slight anxious hilt. “Can I sit?” 

Nodding, I close my laptop and pull my tea closer to me to make a space for him. 

“Hi.” He repeats, smiling a little sheepishly. 

“Hi,” I wait a second, nervous to start when I’m so unsure of how this conversation has already gone in his head. But he doesn’t say anything so I push through and bite the bullet against my better judgement. “Look, about that Friday I-”

“Can I just-” He cuts me off, leaning forwards and opening his hands out as he mulls over his next few words. “I’m sorry if it was awkward at all, I didn’t mean for anything to happen and I thought we were fine an’ everything but then I haven’t seen you in two weeks and Ellie keeps saying you’re not comin’ out. Did I do something wrong?” 

“Oh god no,” I hurry, “You didn’t do anything it was just - I didn’t expect to wake up..like that...and it was just a really quick change because we’ve never really been close and suddenly it was just, us, like that.” 

He nods, pushing a loose curl back a second later that broke free in the motion. He seems understanding as he looks down before leaning his elbows against the table so only the two of us can hear what he’s about to say. 

“I know, I didn’t expect it either but, can I just tell you I’m glad that it happened?” He leaves a three second pause for me to flounder in confusion before continuing. “What I told you, ‘bout feeling lonely, it messes with my sleep all the time. I just get stuck in my own thoughts but the night you stayed over I slept fine - perfect even.”

Not sure what else to do with this new information, I nod for him to continue.

“I know we’ve never been close, but hanging out with you just really calmed me down.” He smiles, gaining confidence now in his vulnerability tucked away in our little hiding place. “Thank you for staying.” 

“I get what you mean.” I mumble, slightly anxious any of the busy customers with prying eyes could overhear my confession. “I never really know when to stop working and I think I got the best night sleep on your sofa I’ve had in awhile, which really speaks volumes about how crappy my mattress is.”  

He chuckles. Relief seems to settle in as he lets his shoulders relax and face soften. 

“I was thinking - especially now that I know it was good for you as well, maybe it could become more of a regular thing?” He asks, his forefinger and thumb pinch together and twist one of his rings a little - a nervous habit, I’m sure. 

“How do you mean?” 

“Like..when we all go out, maybe we go home together, you know - so we can sleep better.” He moves down to focus on the metal rose he’s still fumbling at. “If..if you don’t want to or you think it’d be weird it’s fi-” 

“I’d like that.” I reach forwards to comfort him, absentmindedly cupping my fingers around his. “I think it’d be nice, to get a good night's sleep I mean.” 

“I’m glad.” He beams.

“..That and you make a mean blueberry pancake.” I tease, earning a light chuckle from Harry. 

Just like our last cafe encounter, the ping of a his phone beats me to my new few words. He checks it quickly, shaking his head and glancing down the large room to the shop front where, once again, Jeff waits. He seems a little more agitated this time, waving vigorously whilst trying not to attract the attention of passersby, all  rather unsuccessfully. 

“Bollocks okay - I’ve gotta go,” Harry swears, collecting his coffee from the table and pushing his chair back quickly. “I’ll just - we can text before we go out next yeah?” 

“Cool, yeah - wait a sec, let me just give you my number.” I reach up for him to hand me his phone but he doesn’t make any effort to move, instead he blushes slightly and stares at the floor. “..What?” 

“I um, I already have it.” He fiddles with the hair at the nape of his neck before talking again. It’s hard not to remember how it felt when it was my fingers carding through his brown curls. “I got it from Theo awhile back when we were going to this thing, felt weird not having it. I hope that..okay and everythin’” 

I nod, smiling up at him. The idea of him having a part of me for this past year without me even knowing is oddly precious. The fact that he felt odd about not having my number and going to the effort of getting it from Theo was unbelievably endearing. 

“That’s fine, helpful actually.” I smile still, “Text me before we meet everyone and we’ll make a plan or somethin’” 

“Okay,” He smirks, his slight cocky nature reemerging. “Will do, Liv. See you soon?” 

“See you soon.” 

Jeff flies a hand up to his hair like before but this time is met with a grinning Harry who doesn’t seem to mind so much. 

. . . . . 

Unknown Number 

‘Hey! Is tonight good? We can slip off after drinks at the gallery. H x’ 

I look down at my phone. Caught off guard by the sudden text, I’d almost forgotten out arrangement. Julia invited us all to a gallery opening of one of her friend's new exhibits. Even as I flicked through my wardrobe for the right jacket, I hadn’t put two and two together and realised I’d be seeing Harry again for the first time since our chat at Blondies four days ago. 

I save his number and I think quickly, not wanting to leave him on read when he knew I’d be leaving to see them all any second and most likely spend the whole tube journey on my phone. 

‘Hi :) That’d work for me yh, just let me know when you want to leave and I’ll make an excuse. Liv x’ 

With another thought rushing through my head, I send a quick follow up. 

Me

‘Can we keep this between us right now? Might be a bit tricky to explain to the others.” 

Harry

‘Read my mind love.’

‘See you in a bit :)’ 

I’m still not the hugest fan of the airy feeling that rushed through my stomach as I read over the pet name. He was just from Manchester, it was normal up there to call everything by casually affectionate little names. It didn’t mean anything at all. 

. . . . . 

“Livia!” Nick calls out when he sees me scanning over the faces at the entrance to the gallery. I smile instantly and make my way over, quickly falling into his arms as he rocks us for a second. “Haven’t seen you in an age!” 

“‘Ve been working, we can’t all piss about Monday to Friday.” I giggle, smiling wide as he murmurs something under his breath and plants a big kiss on my cheek. “Is everyone here?” 

I try not to look suspicious when I peak over around us, trying to pick a certain brunette from the crowd.

“Yeah, they’re just over there with Julia’s friend.” Nick points and I see him immediately. He’s dressed just as I expected - half gucci half grandpa sweaters. “I’m gonna get us drinks, meet you there?” 

“Mhmmm” I hum, breaking out of his hold and slipping through the crowds to our small group of friends. 

“Hi!” Julia smiles brightly. She hugs me quickly before stepping aside to give Eleanor and Theo their turns. They all whisper quiet ‘Missed yous’ in my ear as if I’ve been gone for years. 

“Hey,” Harry appears by my side as everyone else turns their attention to the front of the crowd where it looks like the artist is setting up to introduce the night. “How’ve you been?” 

“In the last four days?” I chuckle, “Good. Not been sleeping great, but I’ve got a lot of work done so that’s been great.” 

He nods approvingly. A smile tugs at his lips at the mention of sleep, almost like some secret inside joke we’ve managed to form between just the two of us. 

“Me neither. Jeff’s been buggin’ me what feels like every hour with deadlines.” I find myself squeezing his hand a little under his long coat sleeves so nobody can see. “Looking forward to just collapsing tonight, if I’m honest.” 

“Me too.” I smile tiredly, tonight had been a big ask come to think of it. I've had work piled up twice my height all week and even having worked day in and day out I’ve still only made a crack in the mountain of final edits and emails to respond to.

Harry squeezes my fingers back and our hands linger in each other's hold until Nick emerges beside us and the artist begins her speech. 

. . . . .

 The comfortable chatter surrounding the booth we’d taken up a few hours ago died down as the clock ticked later and later. We’d left the gallery a while ago now in favour of the after party at a pub down the road but by now the heavy scent of beers and various gin based concoctions were giving us all headaches. 

“I think I’m gonna call it a night guys,” Harry announces, a slew of groans following from the group. “Sorry, sorry! It’s been great but it’s getting late.” 

Julia and Theo move out the way to let him out the booth. He slides across the red cushion to stand, pulling his coat over himself as he sneaks a quick look at me. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too,” I smile, waiting for Eleanour to stand and let me out as another wave of complaints flooded me. “Sorry! I’ve got work and the tube’ll be hell any later.” 

“Well if Harry’s going too couldn’t he take you home?” Julia suggests, looking between the two of us as we now stand slightly away from each other. “You drove right?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Harry turns to smile at me, amused clearly by how our plan was being unknowingly encouraged by our friends. “C’mon, I’ll drive yeh.” 

I nod, biting back a smirk. We say our goodbyes and wave as we slip out the heavy pub doors out onto the road outside. It’s started to drizzle slightly and I resent choosing the jacket without a hood. 

“I’m just over here,” Harry points a little ways off. “Hurry, think it’s about to pour.” 

We walk quickly down the street and through a metal gate into a car park when there’s a loud rumble of thunder and immediately the rain thickens. 

“Fuck!” Harry laughs as he scrambles for his keys, we match each other's paces until we’re practically sprinting to his car in the far corner of the lot. The click of the locks sounds out and his lights flash red a second before we’re both pulling the doors open and throwing ourselves inside onto warm seats. 

We catch our breath, chests rising and falling with uneven pants before our laughter settles and Harry slots the keys into the ignition. 

. . . . . 

“Do you want anything to eat?” Harry asks as he closes his front door behind us and we kick out shoes off in his hall. “I think I have some takeout menus somewhere..” 

“I’m not really hungry, thanks though,” I cut off his search as he walks through to his kitchen and starts opening draws. “Kinda just wanna go to bed now.” 

He nods and rubs a hand under his eye in silent agreement of my exhaustion.

“I’ll make us a tea, meet you up there yeah?” He calls over his shoulder, having turned quickly to retrieve various packets from his cupboards. “Chamomile okay?” 

“Yeah chamomiles good,” I hover for a second in the archway leading into the kitchen, suddenly awkward to be alone in his house again. “Where um..where is it?” 

He looks over his shoulder at me, slightly confused. His eye brows unfurrow when I motion behind me. 

“Oh- just up the stairs and third room down the hall..on the left.” He smiles, turning back to the cupboard to look through his extensive mug collection. 

I nod to myself, spinning on my heel and making my way up his stairs. I’ve never gone beyond the downstairs of his house before and even then I stuck to the kitchen, dining room and lounge. It felt odd to suddenly have access to something as intimate as his bedroom, I try not to overthink things as I push open the third door I see.

The first thing I see is his large bed, there’s probably enough room for three people on it and there’s definitely enough pillows to go around. The room as a whole is tidy, whether it’s always like that or only organised so precisely for my visit, I don’t know, but the thought makes my stomach flutter. 

I walk up to the side of the bed with no charger on it’s table and set my bag down. We hadn’t talked about the logistics of our...arrangement, but I’d brought the basics to last me through the night. I plug my charger into the wall and take out my wash bag and a set of clothes to sleep in before sliding my bag under the table. I look around for a second. Somehow I hadn’t really thought through the fact that by the end of the night, I’d be in Harry’s bed. With Harry. In a completely platonic way with the only function to soothe our mutually crappy sleeping habits. 

I hear Harry walking up the stairs just as I slip into the un suit to wash up and get changed. He’s humming a song under his breath. The clink of mugs being set down is followed by wardrobe doors opening and closing and a light thud of clothes being thrown on the bed. 

I wait a few minutes to make sure I don’t walk in on him changing. Opening the door tentatively, I step out into the room in a large sweater and pajama shorts. Harry turns to look at me, he’s in the same t-shirt he wore last time and a pair of boxer shorts and the whole situation suddenly seems so amusing. After just one night of falling asleep on the sofa together, not having ever talked before, here we are standing at our most vulnerable about to cuddle in his bed together.

“Hi.” 

“Hey,” He nods, looking down at himself. “Hope this is okay...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or-” 

“It’s fine,” I reassure him, “I didn’t really know what to wear either.” 

His eyes flicker down my body and he smiles back up at me. He motions to the bed and we both nod a little awkwardly before making our way over to our sides. I climb in and instantly let a small groan out as my body sinks into the mattress, the pillows and duvet feel almost like a cloud as I burrow under and pull my tea up to my lips. 

Harry chuckles from beside me, I peak over the mug to seem him grinning down from where he sits slightly taller in the bed.

“Sorry, you look comfy.” He laughs a little, 

“I am, your bed’s insane.” I set my mug down and turn to him, bouncing slightly to emphasise the quality of his mattress that probably cost more than a year of my rent. “I really should start earning millions, feel like it’d suit me.” 

He returns his tea to the bedside table and copies me, turning to face me with his legs crossed. 

“It definitely would.” He smiles, bouncing a little before I let out a yawn. “Tired?” 

“Exhausted.” I mumble, hand still covering half my face. Harry reaches behind him to turn to switch the lights above his headboard off before pulling the duvet back for us to slip under.

“C’mere,” Without hesitating, I shuffle back slightly until I can feel his chest behind me and an arm come up to rest around my hip. “‘This okay?” 

“Mhmmm,” I hum, “What about our teeth?”

“We’ll brush ‘em in the morning,” I nod, groaning again as all the aches in my body subside as I sink into his arms and the foam mattress. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” I mumble, embarrassed to have let myself go so easily around him. “Your mattress is just unbelievable. Might have to make this a regular thing.” 

I speak before I think, mind clouded with sleep and my eyes already fighting to stay open. 

“That’s the plan, love.” 

. . . . . 

When I wake up, Harry’s arms are tight around my middle and his body’s like a furnace behind me. I vaguely recall pulling my sweater off in the night to cool down as I lay now only in a vest and shorts. I slept better than I have in months though, despite the warm breaths on my neck turning my cheeks flushed. 

The mix of Harry’s company and his safe haven of a mattress made for the perfect night sleep. I push back slightly into his chest and feel his arms tighten around me and a low murmur of his voice in my ear. The clock on my bedside table reads 6:30. It’s a Saturday and I can quite easily imagine spending the rest of my day - weekend even, exactly like this. 

I slip back to sleep for a little awhile before I’m woken up to a low groan behind me. Harry shifts slightly, burying his face in the base of my neck and squeezing around my waist again. He must still be half asleep to be this comfortable with me. 

I’m proven right when it takes another fifteen minutes for him to poke his head up over my shoulder and mumble: 

“Breakfast?” 

. . . . . 

Our routine works smoothly for weeks. After sleeping so well the first few times, it became a given that we’d pile into Harry’s car after every night out with our friends and go back to his. Sometimes we’d get takeout or watch a film, but it wasn’t so rare that we’d just stumble out of his car, or a taxi - depending what the night had entailed, and walk with eyes almost closed straight to bed. 

I stopped bringing things every night about two weeks in when a new toothbrush appeared next to Harrys and an oversized t-shirt of Harrys found its way onto my side of the bed. We also ditched the awkward pleasantries. Spending two or three nights a week in his house, I’d become pretty familiar with it all. I sometimes brought us breakfast if it was a weekend, or left a coffee beside the bed for him if I left for work first, We had very easily slipped into an oddly familiar sense of domesticity. It was strange to never mention any of it to our friends, it made it special though. We helped each other, and it was all just between the two of us. Nobody else knew Harry taught me how to make coffee just the way he likes it, or that we share his lavender shampoo sometimes. 

“Ols?” Harry calls up the stairs to me. We’re running late to Julia and Theos anniversary dinner. 

“Coming!” I yell back, reaching into his wardrobe to snatch a jacket before running down the stares. 

“Oi! Slow down love, you’re gonna fall,” He complains, holding his hands out at the bottom of the stairs to catch me as I skid a little on the wooden floors of his hallway. “Hey! This’s mine!” 

He tugs playfully on the opening of his jacket. I pull the fabric from his grasp and smile up at him. 

“Not anymore…” He scrunches his nose up and pulls me towards him. The sudden movement pushed the air from my lungs suddenly. “-Fine! Just for tonight...nobody’ll notice anyway, you only just got his one.” 

He shakes his head, bringing his fingers up to tickles across my stomach quickly before letting me go and clapping his hands. 

“Shoes now!” He points down at my sock clad feet, “Come on we’re late already.” 

I sling my bag over my shoulder and slip my boots on before trailing after him to the front door. He’s pulled his large green coat off the hangar before he’s looking back down at me, brows pulled together in confusion. 

“What’ve got yeh bag for?” 

“Ah see Harry, I tend not to leave my stuff places I don’t actually live.” I laugh.

“You’re not coming back tonight?” The confusion’s not joined by a hint of sadness as his hands fall from the door knob and he turns to face front on. 

“Oh I..hadn’t thought ‘bout that. I’ve gotta water my plants.” I haven't been home in two days, I spent the whole day at Blondies yesterday then headed to Harry's after a few drinks with him and Nick. We’ve hung out around his house all day, sleeping in and finishing our last few bits of work for the week. “I can let them go a little dry I guess-” 

“Can I come to yours?” Harry cuts me off to ask. “It’s just, I haven’t ever seen it..and that way your plant’ll be fine.” 

I stay quiet for a second. Our world of sleepovers and movie marathons and home made curries for dinner existed within his house. My flat was small in comparisons to the homes of our friends, who were all, delicately put, pretty well off. Not that I wasn’t, I’d just gone into a lower paying area of my industry. I lived alone anyway so there wasn’t much point paying thousands in rent when I didn’t need much space. 

“It’s fine it you want a night to yourself I can just-” 

“It’s not that, H, I just didn't really think about how we only ever come here.” I mumble the last part, “Come back to mine, I don’t feel like going back on my own anyways.” 

I smile a little, unsure of where we stand on the whole admitting we’d grown pretty dependent on each other’s presence, front. He smiles back, twisting the door open and holding it for me as I slip under his arm. 

The car clicks unlocked and I settle into my seat. I reach over to push my seat belt in as Harry pulls his door shut and the car rumbles to a start. 

“Can’t believe Jules and T have been together so long.” He sighs as we pull out onto the main road. 

“Tell me about it,” I gaze out the window as rain dribbles lightly. “Feels like the year just went straight by.”

“They seem so happy still, like they’re still honeymooning,” Harry hums. 

“I remember when they just started going out in Uni, even then it was obvious they’d end up together.” 

“I like those kinds of people. The ones who make each other just completely themselves, ya know?” He glances over at me before turning back to the road. 

“Yeah...they’re proper soulmates aren’t they.” 

. . . . . 

“Okay but seriously, what the fuck is up with you and Harry?” Eleanor bursts out as soon as we reach the bar. We’ve been sent off to get the third round whilst the others stayed at our favourite booth of the pub we frequented. 

“Wait what?” I yell over the loud chatter of the pub, “What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean!” She’s still waving her hand out for the bartender when she glances down at me again. “You’re tryna say you’re suddenly so close and nothing’s happened between you?” 

“We’re not that close.” I quip, “We’ve just talked a bit more lately, I guess.”

“And nothing’s happened?”  She raised a brow at me suspiciously. “You guys have left together every night for the past few weeks, just admit you have feelings for each other.” 

“No, nothing’s happened.” I sigh, unsure if I sound convincing or not. “We just live close and it’s too cold now to get the tube back so late, he’s just being nice. You know Harry...he’s like that with everyone.” 

Eleanor laughs a little, shaking her head. She places our order with the bartender when he makes his way to our side of the bar before turning back to me with her arms crossed. 

“He’s nice to everyone, but he’s not just being nice to you.” She smirks, “And he usually doesn't give just anybody his clothes.” 

She reaches out and rubs the fabric of my - Harrys - jacket between her thumb and forefinger. She looks up and quirks her brows up a little again. Before I can splutter out an explanation our drinks are being laid out on the counter beside us and Eleanor is pointing to the ones for me to carry and turning back to our booth. 

A surge of anxiety washes over me as I follow Eleanor back to the group. My breaths feel unsteady and I can’t help but dart my eyes to get a quick glance at Harry to see if he’s experiencing the same kind of interrogation. He seems fine though, laughing at something Nicks said. 

Soon we’re at the booth, slipping back into our seats and setting the drinks out in front of everyone. Harry’s eyes hover on me for a few seconds, brows raised a little in question. I smile and shake my head - everything’s fine. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor glances between us throughout the whole night. Especially not when a different two get up for the next round and Harry and I are pushed next to each other when they climb back into the available seats. Harry seems a little suspicious too. He clearly hasn’t noticed Eleanor’s strange behaviour - or doesn’t care - because he’s kept gazing down at me every now and then since we came back with drinks hours ago. When I stop looking up at him, nervous Eleanor might question me about his constant and slightly nervous glances when we’re alone, he reaches his hand under the tables and pulls mine into his lap. He squeezes our hands every now and then. He’s always a touchy, cuddly drunk. Normally it’s a bit more obvious; he’ll wrap his arms around one of us on the dance floor or lap his head on a shoulder, nothing too intimate. Just friendly. But now he’s stroking his thumb over my knuckles and tapping out the beat of the current song playing with his foot, his knee bumping mine. 

Julia and Theo are the first to go. Relief settles in me at the idea of not being the first two to leave for once. There’s no way Eleanor wouldn't’ve have noticed me and Harry sneaking the other a glance like we usually do to signal we’re ready to go, without some kind of distraction. 

“It was so lovely guys, feels like we haven’t just sat down and talked in so long!” Julia smiles, leaning into Theos side tiredly as they say their goodbyes. 

“I think I’m gonna head off too, it’s getting pretty late,” I smile, waiting for Harry to speak when Theo pipes up before him. 

“Livs, you want a lift?” Theo looks down at me. 

“Oh Olivia, that’s a good idea, you were just saying how it’s too cold for the tube.” Eleanor beams, smiling cheekily as she knows I’m the only one who’ll understand her subtle teasing. 

“Oh I-” I stutter before Harry’s squeezing my hand again and looks up at Theo. 

“I was actually gonna take her home, we’re only 10 minutes apart so it’s just easier.” He smiles politely, if I couldn’t feel his foot hooking over mine I’d believe he was just being nice and helping out a friend. 

“Yeah but you’re gonna stay a little while aren’t you?” Julia countered, “We’re pretty close, it’s fine really.” 

I nod, motioning to slide out of the booth. Harry lets me by, dropping my hand before anyone else could see. Julia, Theo and I say goodbye quickly and head out to the car park. As soon as we’re all strapped into their car, I pull out my phone and click Harry’s contact. 

Me 

Meet me at mine x

Harry 

Okay - what was that about? 

Me 

I’ll explain when u get here, just something w Eleanor

U might have been right about the jacket :/ 

Theo pulls up outside my flat and I jump out the car, thanking them quickly and waving them off. I climb the stairs of my building and click the keys in my door, pushing it open and kicking my shoes off the second I get in. After a fifteen minute frantic clean, the place is looking slightly better. There’s no time to perfect it as I hear my phone buzzing on the counter, a dorky photo of Harry in one of his infamous sweaters all sprawled out on the sofa and sticking his tongue out at me flashes the screen. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, I’m just outside,” He talks softly, “What number are you?” 

“24, wait a sec and I’ll buzz you up.” 

I tread quickly to the button by my front door and let him up, hearing a quiet thanks over the phone and a “See you in a sec”  before the line goes dead. 

A minute later there’s a quiet knock at my door. I open it and see Harry, he looks a little more tired than when I left him forty minutes ago, he rubs his knuckles under his eyes and sighs softly. 

“Hey, come in.” I pull the door a little wider, stepping aside to let him inside. He walks past me, eyes watching the floor whilst I lock the up behind us and turn to face him. There's an awkward tension in the air that I haven’t experienced with Harry before, maybe a little that first night when I walked in on him in his kitchen, but nothing like this since we’ve gotten closer.  

“What happened?” He asks quietly, lifting his head with an uncertain look on his face.”You barely even looked at me. 

“I..” I stumble over what to say, I’ve been thinking I could just explain what Eleanor had said and have it done with but now I know we’re not going to be able to just leave this. If somebody’s going to find out about our arrangement then something would have to change. “Ellie thinks there’s something going on with us and she kept staring all night. I just, I couldn’t give her anything to be suspicious about.” 

“S’that what you mean about the jacket?” I nod, “What did she say?” 

“Just that we seemed closer, talk more I guess.” I sigh, “She didn’t believe anything I said.” 

“What did you say?” He presses. His tone is unclear, he seems less hurt now and more focussed on getting answers from me. 

“I just, I told her nothing’s happened.” I mumble, “She asked about us leaving together and I told her it was just because we lived close and it’s easier than the tube.” 

Harry bobs his head a little, taking in what I’ve just told him before laughing a little. He shakes his head and brings his palms up to his face, cursing under his breath. We stand in the quiet of my hallway before he speaks up again.

“Can we still do this?” That catches me off guard. Of course I knew we’d have to stop sometime when one of us started dating or a friend found out, I just hadn’t thought seriously about it happening anytime soon. “If she does find out, would that be the worst thing in the world?”

I shake my head, taking a step towards him to close the gap between us that’d been building my nerves throughout this whole exchange. 

“I don’t wanna stop hanging out.” I confess. Harry quirks his lips up a little, obviously relieved as he pulls me to his chest. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and rests his chin on my head as we breathe together for a moment. All the while we’ve been spending nights at his, there’s been no serious moments like this. We’ve opened up about vulnerable subjects and confessed more than we probably should have to each other, but never anything like this. There’d never been a  time I thought I could lose him. 

“What if something did happen.” He whispers into my hair. 

“Like what?” I murmur, voice a little muffled by his jacket. 

“Like..” He trails off a little and I’m pretty sure I hear him inhale a little and smell my hair. “Like what if I kissed you..or something.” 

“Or something?” My chest tightens, stomach fluttering suddenly. 

“Mmhhhmm,” He hums, “What would happen then?” 

“Eleanor would have a field day.” 

Harry laughs, shoulders shaking a little as he giggles above me. He loosens his grip on my and pushes away to create a little space to see me again. 

“Oh yeah?” He teases. 

“Uh huh,” I smile, “She’d never let us forget it if she knew she was right.” 

“And what would she be right about?” Harry lifts his hand to cup my face, tilting it slightly to make sure I’m staring right up at him. 

“..Something..happening.” I whisper, “Having feelings for eachother.” 

Harry grins, cheeks a soft rosy between the outside cold and the new blush. He strokes the pad of his thumb against my cheek and beams down at me. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Uh huh…” 

“Really..she’d be right about that?” 

“I’m pretty sure-” 

Before I can tease anymore, Harry’s leaning down to press his lips against mine. I inhale sharply, closing my eyes and looping my arms around the back of his neck to hold us in place. His hand still holds my face firmly, thumb fluttering over my cheek a couple times before he pulls away and we both breathe in deep. 

“She’s definitely right.” He smiles, tone turning serious for a moment. “I really like you Olivia.” 

Butterflies surge through my stomach for the millionth time since he walked through my door. Blushing and happy, I tighten my arms and push my face back into his shoulder. 

“I like you too H….just a little bit.” 

“We don’t have to tell anyone, just want this to be ours for a little while.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back down to whisper into my ear. 

“I want this to be ours forever.” I hum, words quiet and part of me hoping he doesn't hear my honest confession. 

A comforting quiet settles over us. I remember how tired I really am as I melt further into Harry’s body, breathing in the sweet cinnamon and vanilla scent. His breathing lulls me half to sleep as I let my eyes flutter shut and bury my head further into his neck. I feel him lifting me up as my body relaxes against his and I catch his last few words before I he’s shifting me into his arms and walking us up the stairs. 

“I could hold you ‘n listen to your voice all night long, love.” 

. . . . .    

“Oh my god!” Julia yells out, unravelling a long shawl from pristine white tissue paper. “Okay whoever got me, thank you so much!” 

She continues to squeal a little as he wraps it over her shoulders and presses the end to her nose, inhaling the lavender scent of her favourite designer brand. 

I’d only spent one Christmas with the whole group before but it was clear secret Santa was a bit of a tradition. Between the six of us we all had other friends, family and mostly, relationships. Organising a secret santa within our group just relieved some of the stress of present buying - and it was fun. 

We’re all sitting around Harry’s living room, it felt the homiest  to us after all. The kiddy advent calendar I bought for him hung by the fireplace reading December 21st. We’ve all finished our egg nogs, meaning it was officially present time. Over the next few days we’ll all be driving up and down the country to visit family, meaning today’s the last day most of us will be seeing each other. Harry had whined about me leaving, begging me to stay another day with him or better yet - spend christmas with his family up north. 

It was when I told him my own parents were spending the holidays visiting my sister and her kids in New York that his campaign started. We kissed almost three months ago now and have been on a slew of dates since. Between all the secret dinners out, brunches and farmers market trips, we haven’t found time for the talk. We had no official title. I’ve heard Harry refer to me as “m’girl” a couple times when I’ve wandered into the kitchen and overheard him on the phone to mitch, but nothing he’s told me himself. Despite this, he still insists I have to come and spend christmas with him and his close family. The idea of me hanging out with my young cousins and distant relatives apparently doesn’t satisfy him. 

“Are you serious!” Eleanor gasps as she unwraps her own present. Everyone had picked the perfect gifts for each other this year. In a pure coincidence, I ended up with Harry’s name after Nick made me trade because he’d already bought Julia’s present for her. I’ve been nervous about it all evening, I was sure he’d like it, a little too sure. That was the problem. One night, wrapped up in Harry’s bed, he’d recalled his latest tragedy to me: He’d taken shroom with Mitch on his last trip to LA and subsequently decided to skinny dip in the sea, losing his favourite mustard cords in the process. The only times we’ve seen everyone else has been with the both of us present and , to my knowledge, he hasn’t mentioned this to anyone else. The brown paper package that sat on the coffee table could invite a few more questions that I was prepared to answer. 

“Harry, you’re next!” Ellie grinned, hugging her present to her chest. 

Thanks to our early secrecy, there’s been no opportunity to tell our friends we were dating. Eleanor hasn’t stopped her constant questioning but we’ve kept up a pretty good front of excuses. It was still freezing out so it made sense for us both to climb into his car together at the end of the night. Nobody had to know we would be going home to the same house where we’d climb into the same heavenly bed and scramble eggs together in the morning. 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Harry laughs as Ellie tries to hurry him up, playing perfectly into her role as the youngest in our group. 

He pulls the first fold of paper back with his ringed fingers and immediately looks up at me as the mustard fabric shines up at him. He grins wide, beaming back at me before pulling the rest of the paper back and laying the trousers out in front of him. 

“No babe...where did you find them?” He’s running his fingers down the cord, in awe to have his favorite trousers back - or at least a copy. 

I don’t miss how Eleanor and Nick’s heads turn to share a look of shock as the pet name tumbles out. Before I can put anything together, Harry’s standing and leaning over the coffee table. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug and whispering his thanks in my ear. 

“Wait I dont - how did you know it was h-” Julia pipes up, before she can finish she’s cut off by the joint gasps of Nick and Ellie as Harry plants a wet kiss to my cheek - then my lips, and laughs at our friends reaction. 

“I knew it!” Ellie yells, pointing frantically between the two of us, Harry now having stepped over the table and come to sit next to me, pulling me into his side.

“What was-” Julia stammers, “Since when!” 

Harry’s eyes flutter down to my face. He giggles quietly when he catches on to my glare. This wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined the evening going. 

“Have you just been lying to my face for the past three months?” Ellie asks, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting her lips. 

“Five,” Harry mumbles, almost just as an inside joke for the both of us to enjoy. I slap my hand against his shoulder to shut him up but the damage is already done. 

“Five months!” Even Theo’s joining in now. “How didn’t we know?” 

“It didn’t start out like this honestly, we would’ve told you.” I try and explain, eager for this to quiet down so we could get to the roast dinner waiting for us in the oven. 

“How did it start?” Nick pokes, drawing Julia and Ellie’s attention as the same puzzled expressions adorn their faces. 

“Unimportant,” Harry brushes off, standing up to tower over us all and reaching a hand back for my own. “We better get dinner, we wouldn't want burnt potatoes.” 

Harry pulls on my arm gently, leading me out the room before anyone can object. 

In the kitchen, he picks up a tea towel and starts to check on the food, prodding at the parsnips. I roll my eyes as he ties his lavender apron around his waist and tentatively pulls the potato tray from the oven. 

“Harry..” I sigh, trying not to laugh as he turn to face me, spatula in hand. 

“Yes dear?”  

“What was that?” 

“Oh - You’ve gotta shimmy a little spatula under the potatoes or they’ll break apart-” 

“No, obviously not that,” He makes it so hard so stay stern, a giggle leaks out as he lifts a hand to rest on his hip. “Why did you do that?” 

“I want them to know.” drops his utensils, tone sincere as he takes another step towards me. “I want our friends to know how much I love you already, and you remember about my mustard cords so..it felt like the perfect time.” 

“What?” I stutter, looking up at him from where he’s pulled me into his chest. His hands rest on my waist, rings a little hold against my exposed skin. 

“You remembered the trousers I lost last month in LA -”

“You love me?” 

His eyes go a little wide, a smile peaking through as the sides of his mouth quirk upwards. Realising what he just said, he lifts a hand from my waist to rest it against my face and lean down a little. 

“Of course I love you.” He whispers, his voice a little croaky and I can see tiny droplets gathering in his eyes that make my heart flutter. 

“Love you too..” I mumble. I wipe a thumb over his cheek before pulling him down into a kiss. I feel his smile against my own, and everything’s perfect for just a second. 

“So you’ll come to Christmas with me?” 

. . . . .

Hiii I hate the ending :)

Tysm for reading !! pls leave a like or reblog (it rlly helps <3) if you enjoyed it x

[jeonjk0504]

why didn’t you say anything about the racism bts have faced these past days :(

Hey anon!

I actually haven‘t been online here because of the racism debate. I was on twitter and was supporting it there on two accounts nonstop! if you want to follow me, my @ is also jeonjk0504 :)

You are completely right though, i should have spoken up on my platform here sooner, to educate my followers on this really important matter!

If i make mistakes or should word things differently, please let me know, as you can tell i‘m not native.

The short version:

Credits to @ squishykosmos (twt)!

What happened?

3 days ago, the german radio host Matthias Mattuschik from the station Bayern3 spew racist remarks about BTS because of their MTV Unplugged cover of coldplay. He is a fanboy of coldplay and only wanted to introduce their song ‚Fix you‘ but somehow it was necessary to explain to his listeners why it was an utter insult that BTS had an MTV unplugged concert (he called it paradox, because it‘s a boyband) where they were allowed to cover his favorite song. Coldplay allowed the cover by the way and even commented on it positively.

Here are two links from his original rant, translated in english:

https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365211269133971458?s=21 (Part 1)

https://twitter.com/atinystrawbery/status/1365052883771785219?s=21 (Part 2)

As a german i know that to other people our language sounds quite agressive in general, but this is a whole different level. This isn‘t said in a jokingly way, it‘s pure hatred.

He called BTS a virus against which hopefully there will be a vaccine soon, that their cover of coldplay is blasphemy and that they are little pisser who should get a 20-year vacation in North Korea. Considering the rising violence against Asians all over the world because of Covid, his speech is extremely harmful and normalizes hate against Asians apart from the fact that it was racism in it’s purest form. Why the wish for a South Korean Group to have vacation in the North Korean dictatorship is inhumane and racist, i hopefully don‘t have to explain further. He even said, he can‘t be xenophobic, because he drives a korean brand car (which turned out to be japanese). The new ‚i can‘t be racist, i have a black friend‘.

This also hasn‘t been the first time, in 2018 he made an antisemetic comparison between smoker and jews for which he got a little attention, but no consequences.

Furthermore ARMY dug up a picture on his instagram from 2020 with the caption ‚ Is more evidence needed?!?,‘

A short note:

What makes this even more infuriating is that the radio station is regulated by public-law and german citizens are OBLIGATED to pay for it. We literally are forced to pay money to a radio station that broadcasts openly racist slurs! And no, it‘s not allowed. They have policies that explicitly say they are not allowed to discriminate, they have to support diversity and have to be politically and economically independant.

Do they give a fuck? Apparently not really.

Did Bayern3 answer the hashtags and the pressure?

They did, first came a short nonpology where they said that the show, which Matthias Matuschik is broadcasting, is known for his direct and honest opinions and that he could have worded it better. They are sorry if anyone felt insulted, which is excusing the feeling of the fans, but not the act in itself.

After Army answered with the hashtag ‚Racism is not an opinion‘ and various media coverage surfaced, they posted a second ‚apology‘, where they -again- said that they are distancing themselves from what was said and Matthias has always been an avid supporter of refugees so he is very far away from being a racist. (Supporting refugees doesn’t excuse you from saying racist things though.) Matthias stated that he is shocked from the reactions, that he is ‚sorry if people felt what he said was racist‘ and that his family is getting death threats. (which is in no way acceptable of course.) They would review what was said so it doesn‘t happen again.

Here you can read the statements in german and translated in english:

First statement: https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365087239756259330?s=21

Second statement: https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365305564050382849?s=21

This would have probably been the beginning of a conversation, if Matthias wouldn‘t have went to facebook after his second apology to like a supporting post that basically stated that the topic is way overhyped and in the 80s you were allowed to say your opinion without people getting butthurt (this is a short form.) He completely revised his remorse literally the same day after the updated apology and supported a statement that was gaslighting the people who critized him. You can read the facebook post here:

https://twitter.com/traveltomyrm/status/1365321397342461957?s=21

Since then: Nothing. My mom told me yesterday they‘re playing dynamite a lot, i told her to switch the channel.

News Coverage

Thankfully, we got a lot of support from I-ARMY and K-ARMY, otherwise we wouldn‘t have been able to trend the hashtags day and night and kept them in the top categories in germany and worldwide. We also got a lot of support from international media who called out the racism and put them into context in really amazing articles. (Also K-Media and J-Media but i only have screenshots, no links) Here are a few of them:

https://rollingstoneindia.com/xenophobic-german-presenters-comments-about-bts-are-just-the-tip-of-the-racist-iceberg/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrolli/2021/02/26/bts-were-once-again-the-subject-of-racist-on-air-remarks-and-received-a-pathetic-non-apology/

We even got celebrities like halsey, max, lauv, steve aoki, JJ Ryan, DJ Swivel, Liam McEwan, Zara Larsson, MTV UK, Columbia Records and some more bring attention to the issue and show their support for BTS in the face of racism.

This support was probably the reason why we even got a second ‚apology‘, because guess what? German media ain‘t having it. Since the beginning of our protest, i think i saw 2 articles in total which actually called it racism, various newspapers and online magazines were downplaying it by talking about ‚insults‘ and concentrating on Matthias calling BTS pisser instead of quoting the actual racist remarks he made. We got no TV news whatsoever. So naturally, german locals looking at this protest think that Fans are going on a rampage because their favorite boygroup got insulted.

It has been maddening. The radio station and host have been trying to sit this whole thing out for days, in hope we lose energy over the weekend and it‘s draining to not be heard or taken seriously. For me it‘s still a priviledged perspective, because i don‘t have to bear consequences when this thing is over, one way or another. But for Asians in our country, also some of my friends, this horror in times of covid will continue. The lack of serious German Media coverage has been frustrating and embarrasing to say the least, but also shown again, that the topic gets overshadowed by prejudices against KPop, the fanbase and Asians as part of satirical fun (which it isn‘t).

Why is that?

This is my personal take and not a deep analysis, just my personal observations: Germany might be progressive in a lot of aspects, but they still have deeply ingrained every day racism against asians and they have a huge problem realizing and admitting to that. We don‘t have a lot of asian representation and there is a huge alieniation from asians for a lot of german 50+ (also less, but those are the ones in power mostly). Racism against Asians is not seen enough and people don‘t empathize, partly because they‘re white privileged people who don‘t have to live with certain stigma, partly because they simply don‘t care to educate themselves about minorities in their own country. This ignorance is widespread, if it doesn‘t happen in front of your doorstep, it‘s probably nonexistant. It‘s also not only reserved for Asians, january 2021 we had a talkshow where 5 white german people talked happily about what minorities such as Romani people think as insulting or racist. They did get a lot of backleash because obviously they talk about matters, without letting minorities be part of the discussion, but real consequences? Nope.

I doubt that this protest will get Matthias Matuschik fired (which it should if you are openly racist on a public platform), because the pressure is too low and the radio station has shown with their first statement that they thought it‘s rather funny than problematic. But i don’t know what‘s going to happen. Apart from being an ARMY, i am an adult who condemns racism in any way or form. Why german media chooses to overlook the essence of the debate and makes it a hystercial fanbase issue is beyond me.

If you want to have a look yourself, you can follow German Fanbase accounts, such as @ BTS_UPDATES_GER for updates in german and english.

And at last, here is a thread on how german media reproduces Anti Asian Racism : https://twitter.com/storiesbythuy/status/1366073706817196046?s=21

German Armys are trying to come up with a plan to gain more attention for the topic at the moment, so we‘ll see how things turn out! Please support us if possible!

[stardustskz]

Smile, For it Suits You

Title: Smile, for it suits you

Word count: 3.1k

Genre: best friends au, fluff, holiday au

Warnings: alcohol, drinking, sickness, typo errors (lmk of there are more)

Member: jeongin

Description: the four times Yang Jeongin ruined your new year’s and the one time you ruined his’

Notes: dedicated to @jeonginks for @districtninewriters ‘s winter exchange fic. first of all, i’m so sorry for it’s late. i was wondering on whether posting it on new year’s eve or on the morning of january 1st but thought of doing the latter. happy holidays eiko! i hope you had a blast holiday and i hope that you’ll like this one, i tried putting as much into it! 

ps. i forgot if there are any word count limit, i’m so sorry if there are

pps. i’m so b=nervous posting this idk why

i.

There’s this superstitious belief that has been going on every January 1st and you neither disagree or agree with it. Okay, scratch that… you are sensitive about it. Ever since your grandmother told your eight year old mind about it, you always made sure to make your first days of every year perfect. 

The following year, you were cautious of your entire January 1st as your parents took you out to the local theme park to celebrate the new year. The day went well with the self reminders that your young mind whispers every time you were about to lose your composure due to the small things that irk you. You went to every extreme ride that you like– perks of having the height to fool the staff for your age. You even won plushies multiple times from the crane machine and the huge human-sized bear that your father got you as a prize in that one fishing game. 

Night time was fast approaching when you decided to have an ice cream without your parents' assistance. Because you were in the age of bragging about how independent you've become seeing to it that you’ll be adding a number to your age in the following months. It was successful! You bought your chocolate coated vanilla ice cream after telling the vendor to have a happy new year. You’re on your way back to where your parents sat on a bench when you saw a boy running fast towards your direction. Your first instinct was to move away from his pathway but it seems that your mind and body forgot how to process your intentions as you fell on your butt, causing your ice cream to fall on the ground as well as stain the lower part of your favorite jacket.  

"Hey!" you called out to the boy who was now about a meter away from you. Your calm and optimism for that day gone. Because he didn’t even apologize or bother to stop from his tracks. 

The boy came to a halt from his frantic running, turned around, and yelled back,

"I'm sorry! But I'm really in a hurry!" he then looked at you apologetically then continued running to god knows where. And oh boy, you were so annoyed as he turned out to be Yang Jeongin from your class. Your everyone-loves-and-adores-him classmate. Everyone falls for his stupid cheeky smile and almost everyone in your class has a huge crush on him. Which is you think, stupid, you were all in fourth grade, how does one know who to like? After that incident your day went sliding downwards, from getting scolded by your parents for ruining your white shirt to losing your favorite hanky from riding the Vikings and you only have one person to blame and it was and still is, Yang Jeongin.

ii.

Quite opposite from your dislike towards Yang Jeongin, you gained the ‘honor’ to be his best friend during 7th grade. It just… happened. When Han Jisung decided to be a dear who made you audition, forcefully, for your school’s theatre club, it so happened that Jeongin was a part of it too. 

Now, during your junior year in high school, you were currently in one of your senior Minho’s parties before the new year. You were in the middle of talking to Jisung and Jeongin when you felt your surroundings started to spin, 

"Hey, I'll just use the bathroom for a bit" you said, excusing yourself from all the talking. You don’t have a clue why you’re feeling nauseous when you only had a cup or two of what seems to be a soda, well, it tastes like it.

"You okay?" Jeongin asked, his tone laced with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine" you replied, starting your way to where the comfort room was. It was when you started throwing out all the contents of your stomach when you felt a hand on your back, patting it in a calming manner while their other hand puts away the stray strands of your hair from your face. 

"Is this what you call fine? I thought you won’t drink tonight?" he jokingly said, chuckling a bit by your earlier tough act.

"Well, yeah I also thought I wouldn’t." you rolled your eyes at him through the mirror by the sink after you gargled with water. Maybe it wasn’t just a soda after all. You glanced at the door, furrowing your brows when you noticed that it was closed. 

"You closed the door?" you asked him.

"Yeah? I did?" he said innocently.

"There's a reason I left it open dumbass" you said, trying to call out for help but of course people wouldn't hear you due to the loud, obnoxious music blasting by the speakers in the living room, you even heard people shouting. 

"Oh… I didn't see the sign?" Jeongin said, a bit unsure of himself. Truthfully, he doesn't remember seeing it but he may have forgotten that Jisung told him something about not closing a door because the lock was not working well. Maybe this is the door he was talking about. Jeongin pondered.

It was dreadfully silent, but it was a comfortable one, with you frustrated of how the fuck are you both gonna get out before the countdown. You left your purse with Jisung containing both your phones. There’s no way you’ll be able to get out unless Jisung remembers the absence of your presence and he probably won’t do that until after the countdown. Because Jisung tends to get overly excited about fireworks that he’ll forget that you and Jeongin aren’t back yet.

"5 minutes until the countdown, are we really spending our new year here?" you asked, a bit sad to miss the fireworks display and spend your first minutes of the new year inside a bathroom. What a way to start the year.

"I’m sorry, we’re stuck here" Jeongin said, cautious of whether you’re mad or not. You went closer to where Jeongin sat inside the bathtub, planning to sit beside him.

“I’m not mad, just… annoyed?” You said, sitting beside him and laying your head on his shoulder, maybe it was the alcohol or how comfortable you were around your best friend but you soon drifted to a deep slumber after hearing the fireworks explode outside, remembering to greet Jeongin a “Happy New Year, Jeongin” before completely shutting down.

And if Jisung said something about you getting locked last year in Minho's bathroom and only managing to get out the following year, as if it’s a good joke, you definitely punched him for it.

iii.

The news of Jeongin and his family moving to your neighborhood the following year surprised you. Of course you were ecstatic about it, even more when you saw their moving truck beside your house. You were about to be neighbors! Ever since then, you’ve been spending most of your time with Jeongin, more than what you both used to, your moms also got a lot closer. Which is why they decided to celebrate New Year’s Eve with both families. 

A few hours before the countdown, you decided to hide away in your room, deciding to sleep before the clock strikes 12 because you sure are exhausted by all the preparations. You were lying in your bed with your feet dangling at the bottom, the happenings from earlier that day flashing in your mind. You heard the door to your room opened but you didn’t even bother to look at who it is. 

“Everyone’s looking for you” Jeongin’s familiar voice said. He went closer to your figure only to see that you have your eyes closed, he thought that you’re already asleep,

“I’m tired, let me sleep for a while.” you said, eyes still closed. You tapped the space beside you signaling for him to sit there if he wants. However, Jeongin chose to lie down beside you. And you never opposed it. 

“Wake me up before the countdown.” you said, tiredness completely settling in your system, the hazy figures in your mind beginning to be more vivid as your dream completely took over your consciousness.

Jeongin rolled his eyes at your command, but he will anyway. Turning on his side, his sharp looking gaze softened as his eyes landed on you. He carefully watched how your eyes are now closed, with your lashes curled adorably. You look like an angel whenever you’re sleeping. You were never this peaceful looking when you’re awake because you're the type to furrow your brows more than smile on a daily basis. But right now, your brows are not furrowed even in the slightest bit and the corners of your lips are lightly pointing upwards, a sign that maybe, you’re having a good dream. It continued like this when Jeongin realized that he’s also falling asleep, and even falling harder, as he kissed the night with a goodbye as well.

You both completely missed the countdown but it wasn’t like you were mad about it. When you woke up the next morning, with your best friend still beside you, you figured it was a shame to not witness the fireworks display for two years in a row but you had a great time with finally sleeping for more than eight hours. 

Despite that, yes, you still blame Jeongin.

iv.

It was the first time that you’ll be spending your new year in a different place than your own home. You were already in your third year in college and your group of friends decided to spend your new year at a vacation house near the provinces of your country. Of course, your parents only allowed you to go if Jeongin would be there and thank god you both are in the same circle of friends. 

The original plan was to go together as a group and ride Chan’s van all throughout your three day escapade. However, you have to attend a family gathering in the morning of December 31st, which was the reason why you were left with Jeongin and his truck. You had everything prepared, from the music for the road trip to the snacks that you two bought from your shopping two days prior. And the only thing left is the long journey. Your friends already arrived at the destination by the time you and Jeongin left your place. You were both jamming to different genres of songs, with you feeding Jeongin a chip or two from time to time,

“You can sleep, you know, we still have a long way.” Jeongin said, glancing at you as you yawn from the passenger’s seat. 

“No, no. I can’t leave you for yourself. You can also get sleepy anytime soon.” You said, cautious of possible incidents that may occur. 

“Suit yourself y/n” He said, as you blasted an even livelier song on his radio. 

You were both listening to ‘Wannabe’ with Jeongin doing the shoulder dance and his eyes almost disappearing due to all the smiling and singing when the car slowed down in a not so good manner, as you think.

“What’s happening?” you asked him, maybe panicking for a bit because you were both currently in the middle of nowhere and the sun was already setting. 

“I don’t exactly know,” Jeongin said, his bright smile no longer visible as he stared down on the steering wheel, wondering what the fuck is wrong with his truck. 

“It won’t start.” he said, after a few attempts of once again turning on the car’s engine.

“I should go find help somewhere nearby.” you said, because clearly, your phone’s signal isn’t working as well. 

“No, we should go together, it’s dangerous,” he said preparing to get off the car as well

“Help me push the car to the side of the road first.” he added, then you both worked on it. 

After grabbing all your important belongings, you both started walking forward, continuing the path of the road in hopes of seeing a gas station or an apparel or something.

“I feel like I brought upon misfortune with you whenever we celebrate the new year together.” Jeongin said, probably blaming himself for what just happened.

“It’s not like we can control everything that’s happening around us.” you replied, looking at Jeongin’s sullen expression. 

“Hey! Don’t frown, you look like someone who’ll eat me up alive” you told him. Well, he’s not particularly frowning but Jeongin’s scary whenever he’s not smiling. You noticed the sky slowly get dark and you managed to get sight of something bright at the road ahead.

“Still, I’m sorry this happened, y/n.” he said, coming to a stop only to lock his gaze on yours to sincerely apologize. 

“Stop apologizing dumbass, look I can see something ahead.” you said, mirroring his gaze and smiling as brightly as you can. Jeongin has been your support ever since you two have been attached to the hip. His bright personality is so much of a contrast to your snarly, hostile and strong attitude. And he brightens up your day almost everyday even though he can also annoy the hell out of you. But still, you can’t bring yourself to hate or get mad at him. Because a single smile from Jeongin, all your irritations and annoyance will surely melt away. It just does. The moment Jeongin smiled at you, with his cheeky grin that managed to show his dimples, as a reply, and nodded in agreement and determination, to walk towards where you were pointing out, all your worries for that night went away. Together with your belief that all new years are supposed to be spent in a perfect manner. Because this time, although you spent your new year by the parking lot of the gas station that you both found, you don’t blame Jeongin for all the things that went wrong in that specific year. And at the very least, you get to spend it with the person you cherish the most.

v.

“Why did you decide to spend your January 1st with me dumbass” you asked him, as you opened the door to your dorm, thanking your roommate who went home for the holidays. 

“Well, my also, ‘dumbass’ best friend stayed at the dorms for the holidays and worked themselves up because of finals and now they can’t go home due to a very high fever.” he rambled. You finally let him in because you can already feel your limbs giving up on you. 

“Look! You can’t even stand up on your own!” Jeongin scolded, wrapping his arm around you while he escorted you back to your bedroom. He managed to tuck you in your bed and placed a cooling pad on your forehead before he quickly left for the kitchen, without saying a word. Minutes later, he came back with a bowl of porridge in between his hands.

“You can cook?” you teased.

“Eat.” he said, his expression was serious so you had no choice than to immediately oblige on his command, yes, he was mad and you are kinda scared of this type of Jeongin. You quickly finished it and took the medicine that he gave.

“Do you not have any other plans today?” you asked him, your voice almost a whisper.

“Someone ruined my original plans for me.” he said with his tone a bit more harsh than usual. 

“If that someone was me then I don’t need you here.” you said, irritated by his tone, you turned around to face the other side of your bed in order to avoid seeing him. Jeongin must have figured out that you’re mad at him, due to the change of your tone. He took a deep sigh,

“It’s not like that,” he started.

“I already warned you a week ago about overworking yourself and look where it brought you!” he said, his voice now more calm than before,

“And check your phone please.” he added. Your phone? You haven’t checked your phone since last night due to this stupid fever and apparently- Oh. There are multiple calls and texts from him. 

“I asked auntie regarding your whereabouts and I knew from her that you’re down with fever because I thought you went home yesterday morning, to make it in time for new year’s eve.” Jeongin said, you turned around again with your guilt forming because you forgot to tell him.

“I was worried, y/n. I prepared something for you last night, we were supposed to-” you cut him off,

“I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you,” you said, trying to find his gaze,

“Are you mad?” you asked, taking his hand that was resting on his sides.

“N-no, I’m not. I just-” he took another sigh, “I was just so worried, we can continue whatever road trip I prepared for us anytime this year just please don’t disappear on me again.” he said, more like, begged as he held your hand between his’. 

“Okay,” you said, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

“I won’t do it again, now please smile?” you asked, hoping for him to please just smile again.

Because did he just see you act cute in front of him? Apparently, yes.

“Oh my god okay!” he said and laughed out loud.

“Don’t do that again, this is why I’m the cute one between us!” he said, holding his abdomen for his dear life from laughing too much. You frowned. But this is better. 

“I’m sorry for ruining your first day of the year.” you said, because he wouldn’t be able to go out as he chose to take care of you.

“It’s fine, I intended to spend it with you in the first place” he said, still recovering from the good laugh that he just experienced.

“Wait, so you’re supposed to take me to star gazing?!” you asked, your eyes widening in surprise.

“Yeah? I’m sure my truck won’t fail me this time but you did.” he said, you’ve been bothering him about this request of yours since last year due to his car ruining new year for the both of you. 

“Hey! You already forgave me for that!” Jeongin only laughed and told you to go rest and sleep already. At first, you refused to, but you remembered that you’re still down with a fever and your body gave up on you already. But that day, you fell asleep with a smile on your face. All these time, from the previous years that you had until now, you were searching for perfection for all your first days of the year. However what or rather, who you really need is someone that would stay with you no matter how much misfortune you get. And gladly, you have a dumbass of a best friend for that.