#like there had to be a reason everyone was so on board with just

[hawberries]

holy shit, could you share some of your ratios/artis because multiple top percents is nuts and I wanna see the stats

HAHA TY! Unfortunately you've activated my yap card, so I'm really sorry about how the rest of this post is going to go. I do want to admit that it actually isn't that impressive because there's ways to sort of "game" the Akasha leaderboard system, usually by sharing high CV pieces between your characters, overbuilding crit rate and ER or finding specific leaderboards that aren't as competitive, but it still is a fun sort of low-stakes, inconsequential PVP mode that I enjoy! This is my Akasha page. As you can see my Emilie and Kinich are not doing well.

One notable way I've "cheated" is the fact that my Chiori's ranking is on the Jade Cutter leaderboard, but that's not a real place, because my Chiori is on a Wolfs-Fang. I'm thinking of going for her sword next time she reruns, actually, so she may lose her ranking soon. The boards only look at your artifacts and then make their own assumptions, so board ranking is a VERY poor reflection of in-game performance. Another example is for any Childe mains who have him on Nymph's Dream: it's not actually that good of a set for him! The boards overestimate the uptime, but in actual gameplay, especially if you look at International speedruns, the uptime is bad and he often performs better with mixed sets. However, the difference is not likely to be felt in a practical scenario outside of speedruns and high-level play, so it's reasonable to keep him there for the valour, since he's still going to be good enough.

the reason my Mualani is so high even though I am not a Mualani main is because 1) she's so new that everyone is still working on her domain and using placeholder pieces and 2) I hit her with the yassify beam (gave her this absolutely stupid Hydro dmg goblet which is by far the best piece on my entire account). It just gets passed around between all my watery guys depending on whose personal damage I'm depending on the most at the time, but since Mualani is a hypercarry and Ayato and Yelan are more supportive, it makes the most sense to leave it on her. I expect her to drop a lot in the rankings once people have a chance to farm the Codex set more.

I'm very chuffed with my Navia's build because I recently crafted a new feather for her with the artifact transmuter. Feathers are not broadly recommended to craft, but Navia's feather was by far the most obvious weak link on my account – in the sense that not only was it so bad that it would be easy to get an upgrade (it had 4 low rolls of crit damage and NO other useful stats, not even lower-value ones like atk% or ER) but the rest Navia's pieces were good enough that I had no reason to still be actively farming her domain. Anyway, I got quite lucky with the crafted feather, though as you can see it's still easily the weakest of all her pieces. This is enough to tide me over until Nighttime Whispers is in the strongbox :D

I've worked really hard on my Xiao's build – I've strongboxed 364 Vermilion pieces to date – but Xiao, being an older character with dedicated mains, has a very competitive board, so I don't expect to ever get much higher than this. Isn't that feather disgusting, though? I farmed Marechaussee domain a lot but never got a build good enough to replace this one, especially considering I'm on Jade and therefore about to overcap on crit rate just by sneezing. He has 97% crit rate WITH A CDMG HAT, I want to point out! I am considering crafting a circlet for him as his current one is relatively weak, but that's a problem for future Phee to think about, since I'll want to rebalance his build anyway once I get Xianyun – he'll need less ER and less crit rate.

What level of nerd am I about combat stats in the video game Jenshin Intact? I do my own damage calculations to see which pieces are best! That's why Xiao is on an attack goblet instead of an Anemo DMG one 😔

Also… see how my Wanderer is top 2%? I still don't have an EM goblet on the Flower of Paradise Lost set. RNG is really so funny sometimes. Anyway, at the moment I've allotted myself 6 weeks of farming time to try and get Emilie at least a good 2pc 2pc, after which I'll probably go back to making my Kinich not suck!

[akutasoda]

"it's always the wrong thing when it's me saying it"

--dan heng was one of your best friends, although maybe it should've stayed that way between the two of you. you weren't destined to be anything more than, but knowing that would drive you both further apart than ever imagined.

--warnings - gn!reader, thought to be unrequited love, fluff, angst no comfort, poor communication, maybe ooc, wc - 1.7k

--a/n: killing your wife emotionally and mentally @lowkeyren + @mitsvriii ^^ made sure he suffered plenty!

life on the express was as good as you could ask for.

traveling all across the galaxy, witnessing its beautiful sights and even helping people along the way. and all with a group of people that were the light of your life. it was truly a dream. there was never a dull day, one that you couldn't enjoy and that was really all you could ask for.

each of your companions had such a unique presence that worked so well together.

himeko was always the more mature yet so calm with whatever antic had been concocted up by namely march and the nameless. whereas welt was still just as mature yet was always too tired to deal with those same antics.

march was like a bundle of joy. her positivity was always contagious, it always got her out of the antics she engaged in. the nameless was no different, their monotone attitude still assisted march in whatever she had planned. yet they were still reasonable and even incredibly kind.

and then there was dan heng.

the silent guard of the express. when you first boarded the express, you clicked with everyone but him immediately. he was a lot more reserved and didn't immediately try to get to know you like the others.

it was really only after he noticed how much you and the other members of the express had bonded that he made an effort to try and get to know you. dan heng was wary. he wanted to see how the others perceived you before he made his own judgment.

some may say he was trying to find something to get you kicked off the express but he wasn't trying to be negative, at all. he could argue that welt was more cautious than he was but atleast welt was more present while you adjusted to life on the express. if dan heng was asked to help you with something, he would but otherwise he wouldn't go out of his way to talk to you.

eventually, however, he did come round to you. once the surface had been broken, it didn't take long at all for you to get just as close to dan heng as the rest of the express crew.

he was a rather calming presence to be around. the conversations you could have with him were endless, time spent with him was never wasted and even if he didn't mean to, he always made you smile.

---✩

it didn't take long before dan hengs “room” became your second room. from your first day on the express you were assigned a personal room like the rest of them, yours to customize how you want and spend your nights or days in.

but ever since your friendship with dan heng started to blossom, you found yourself accompanying him to the data bank - it was technically his room, the scruffy pile of blankets and pillows were really the only sign of someone actually living in there.

your evenings soon became reduced to sitting beside dan heng in the data bank, watching and listening to him as he inputted new entries or updated old ones. seeing all the the different experiences the express had was truly worth admiration.

the data bank was a permanent record. a library of all the things the express had been through and found, a permanent memory. and dan heng was in charge of keeping it organized and up to date - which he did diligently and perfectly.

some of the entries interested you greatly, in response, dan heng showed you them in full - compared to the ones that you weren't so keen on which he simply summarized for your convenience.

although more so lately, this time between the two of you had become less about looking through the databank and more into casual chatter between the two of you. more personal.

even the rest of the express where surprised with how much dan heng opened up to you - he'd known them longer and yet you seemed to know more about him. not that it was a bad thing. some of them, namely himeko, were just happy that he seemed to finally have someone he cared about that much.

somewhere along the line, march started joking about how you and dan heng were “practically attached by the hip” and she would be right. the joke eventually caught on with how if one of you were in the vicinity, the other wouldn't be too far away.

but it made you hyper aware. suddenly you started realizing just how much time you spent with the astral express’s guard. the times he made you smile, all the conversations you had with him, the warm fuzzy-

oh.

you had a crush.

a major crush. on dan heng.

the thought made you flush with embarrassment had anyone noticed? had he noticed? did he even feel a small fraction of the same thing for you? maybe you were just thinking too much into it…

but it was eating you up inside. dan heng didn't exactly seem like someone looking for a relationship and you hated thinking about it because it meant that your feelings would never be reciprocated. it hurt. hopefully you could push it all away, move on and just keep your friendship with dan heng - you didn't want to ruin anything, even at the cost of your own feelings.

however, that was easier said than done. every time you were with him, all you thought about was the possibility of him reciprocating your feelings - and it wasn't looking good for you. you needed to move on, there was no way, if dan heng was looking for a relationship, that he'd go out with you.

very quickly it became very apparent that you needed closure to move on. either your feelings would be harshly crushed or reciprocated. although the former was more likely…

but you wanted an answer, anything to help you move on.

---✩

it was late. you both knew that but you had a question plaguing your mind for far too long and you needed a good nights sleep soon. so you figured now would have to be the time to ask it.

“dan heng” you called out and he turned away from the data bank to face you fully, slightly tilting his head and letting out a short “hm?”

you took a deep breath, trying your best to fight pff the nerves, “would you… uh.. ever consider me, us, as something more than friends?”

you couldn't bear to make eye contact with him, the silence was so loud until he broke it “no.”

oh how you wished for the universe to swallow you whole right then and there. but he continued “why do you ask?”

“oh no reason” your voice tapered off toward the end before you abruptly stood up “goodnight dan heng” quickly walking away and back to your room - fighting the tears that threatened to spill at any time soon.

but what you didn't know, what you'd never know, was that he lied.

ages ago, before you even realized your crush, march kept teasing him about how close you two were. amongst her teasing came the blatant question “do you like them?”

at first, dan heng adamantly denied it. you two were just close friends, nothing more. march knew better however and she took great pride in teasing him, listing out all the instances were you two could've been mistaken as lovers - and then it hit him.

but he still refused. denied everything. there was no way he had a crush. it wasn't that he didn't want to have a crush on you, it was just the fact that he wasn't ready. dan heng couldn't bear to imagine the vulnerability that would give him. it was something he didn't want to think about.

so he pushed all his feelings to the back of his mind and tried to convince himself that it wasn't true. even if it hurt him.

a part of him hoped that he was thinking too much into it, that you wouldn't like him back, purely so he could get over it. he could move on and keep his friendship with you as is, removing the chance of that vulnerability ever getting out.

he loved you.

but he couldn't admit it. dan heng could go on and on about you, talking about you like a lovesick fool but he wouldn't. he couldn't.

he wished he could. to have that confidence to admit it to you but he hadn't.

he'd refused your advance against his better wish, and now he'd hurt you. pushing you away forever.

---✩

“are you sure you want to do this?” himeko stared at you, the sadness in her eyes evident

glancing over through the window of the express’s parlor car, you smiled and nodded. you had to do this. to let go “i'm sure”

some may say leaving the express was a dramatic reaction but you had actually found somewhere you'd like to go but didn't want to leave the express - that was until dan hengs brutal rejection. you couldn't face him anymore and it was too awkward to even be on the same train.

himeko sighed “alright, please take care-”

“and stay in contact!!” march interrupted practically barging himeko out of the way.

dan heng watched, silently, from the doorway connecting the parlor car to the personal rooms. he had so much to say, so much to get off his chest and tell you-

no. he needed to let you go. even if it hurt him because he only ever hurt you.

rest of the "series"

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes

[nyx-thedragon]

Newsies thoughts part 3

so I just finished watching Newsies 1992 for the fourth time, and noted down a bunch of things I noticed or thoughts I had. I didn't do this the third time I watched bc that one was with my brother and I wanted to focus on the movie and talking and joking with him lol.

anyway, I noted down a lot of things, so prepare for a long post. (these are in order of when I thought of them, and I'm typing them from my notes app so enjoy my train of thought/how my brain thinks)

1- shoutout to Mr Kloppman for taking care of the boys

2- what's the story behind the lady that comes in singing about her son in "Carrying the Banner"? she fucking slays, but I'm very confused about it

3- they're literally just a bunch of teenage boys who've been dealt an awful hand in life but try their best to keep everyone's morale up and stay positive (me realizing how sad the reality of the newsboys is)

4- all the older newsies taking care of and helping the little ones I love them so bad

5- you can tell how close the newsies are with each other I love it. family for real

6- why does Les carry a wooden sword almost the whole movie?

7- "this is my brother David. he's older" "oh, no kiddin'"

8- love love love how all the newsies just adopt David and Les into the group immediately

9- Pulitzer needs a magnifying glass to read the big-ass headline lmao

10- Seitz lowkey seems to kinda be on the newsies' side

11- why does the crowd boo when the old guy is holding up the "round 58" sign? (during the scene where there's a boxing match going on)

12- Les and Davey immediately follow Jack in running from Snyder even though they've never been in trouble with the law

13- Davey stops Les from putting his head in the horse mask thing (?) (when they're in Medda's theatre)

14- Jack just staring at Davey while Medda coos over Les

15- genuinely Jack did not need to pull Davey by his tie. he could've grabbed his shoulder, but no. had to pick the gayest option

16- Davey inviting Jack to his house after just meeting him literally like not even 12 hours ago. and then inviting him to stay the night?? down bad behavior for real. and he seems so nervous to introduce him to his parents too ??

17- Sarah Jacobs please give me a chance please please please

18- ngl the scenes with Jack and Sarah are a little bit like,,,cringe?? idk they just don't feel right idk if they have enough chemistry for Sarah to realistically be Jack's love interest

19- bro just casually steals a horse and no one goes after him ??? (during Santa Fe)

20- the stupid fucking calculation thing Pulitzer does with his arms omg it's so funny for no reason

21- Kid Blink either doesn't see or just doesn't care that one of the Delanceys is mocking him

22- Jack puts his hand like right next to Davey's face and then slowly moves it away lol (when Jack is asking Davey what he should say to the other newsies when first planning the strike)

23- Davey staring longingly at Jack while he's up writing "strike" on the board

24- "i need some of those...what do you call 'em?" "whatever you want!" (from a random newsie in the crowd, love whoever that was)

25- Spot Conlon hears Davey say one sentence and is like 'yeah this guy never shuts up once you get him going, i can tell' (hence "walking mouth")

26- who is the newsie that just appears behind Jack while they're in Brooklyn talking to Spot??

27- Mush and Davey friendship i love you so

28- where does Race get a harmonica from for "Seize The Day"?

29- love all the littles standing on the statue pedestal during "Seize The Day"

30- Jack and Davey jump up on the statue pedestal and start kicking each other. playing footsie, boys?

oh dear lord i did not realize i noted down this much holy shit

31- Davey immediately looking for Les when the cops show up

32- the Refuge needs better security at the gate cuz how did newsies sneak in TWICE

33- they had time to choreograph a whole dance routine bro (the little seize the day reprise thing)

34- "everyone remain calm" "let's soak 'em for Crutchie!"

35- Davey gets pulled away by someone in the crowd while trying to help Jack (during the big scene when they get ambushed by the police at the distribution place)

36- why are half of the Brooklyn guys grown ass men?? and they're intimidated enough by Spot Conlon to let him be the leader? man i love Spot Conlon he's so cool

37- Spot and Kid Blink lowkey friendship love it

38- Dutchy being horizontal for the picture

39- the workers at the restaurant just watching the chaos of "King of New York"

40- i hate Snyder's face. it makes me uncomfy

41- Sarah Jacobs, how is your hair perfect right after waking up tell me your secrets

42- if they wanted the Jack and Sarah love interest story to actually work better, they should've fit more scenes of them talking

43- nah cuz actually wdym Jack's "real" name is Francis?? he doesn't look like a Francis at all (this is just me being baffled that he could be named Francis, of all things)

44- who is letting Kid Blink hang off the fucking balcony bro he is nawt gonna land on his feet

45- Race and Blink being Medda's #1 hype men <3

oh my fucking god i'm so sorry this is so long i apologize profusely. if you've made it this far, go get a little treat for yourself

46- Jack and Davey are so grabby with each other when Davey is warning Jack about Snyder

47- Medda i love you !!! (tried to fight off the police to defend Race. "he's just a child")

48- how are the newsies losing the fight against the police? there's like a thousand of them and not as many of the police (or at least it seems there's a lot less police)

49- Denton trying to get to Jack when he's captured by the police

50- Race trying to gamble with the judge, he's so unserious

51- the look Jack gives Davey when Snyder starts telling the truth about Jack (his real name, his dad not being out West)

52- i keep accidentally mixing up Specs and Dutchy lol. probably cuz they both wear glasses (i feel so bad for this omg i'm so sorry Specs and Dutchy)

53- no yeah, security at the gate of the Refuge is awful. 6 boys snuck in at once !!

54- why did Pulitzer tell Jack to shut up and listen THREE TIMES when he wasn't even talking ???

55- Davey was just standing in the courtyard outside Pulitzer's, how did no one see him?? he wasn't even hiding, dude

56- Mush shows up to get the "Newsies Banner" papers twice - once by himself and again with Kid Blink

57- "can you read? read that" (Race making sure the kids will be able to read the paper love him for that)

58- Race and Les's little friendship moment is cute ("when the distribution bell starts ringin', will we hear it?" "nah")

59- Race's reaction to Roosevelt is funny. "Roosevelt!?" (bro is shocked)

60- Denton hanging out with Les while Davey gets his papes

61- Race cheering when Jack kisses Sarah. "Jackie boy!"

whew oh dear lord I am so so so sorry for this being so fucking long. I didn't even realize I had noted down so many things I feel bad for making folks have to read this whole thing if they want to see all my thoughts. maybe I should split this in half and have two posts instead of this long one?? idk let me know what you think. also, if I got the names wrong for any newsies, please let me know I'm still learning lol.

uh yeah, this post is over now. stay hydrated, get some rest, and stay cool

[eluxcastar]

Listening to Candle Queen gave me more Arlecchino/Tsaritsa's daughter reader thoughts because what about reader DOESN'T scream Candle Queen?? The people think of reader as a tyrant, she looks down upon humans, she is literally playing a caricature (it is also her ONLY identity), she is abandoned, harmed by her own actions, and ultimately alone

Clutching a broken crown of fire is possibly the best way to describe it 😭

[art-from-the-juice-box]

gen loss dump part 2 :]

i have a gen loss playlist so the last two was me hitting randomize and drawing a pic based on the song before it finished. the second one technically isn’t that cause charlie’s inferno isn’t on apple music cause they hate me so it’s way more of the song out of spite because they wouldn’t give it to me.

[chirpsythismorning]

Vecna’s plan requiring Mike to leave for California means nothing. The number 1 following Mike cryptically at the airport means nothing. Them barely giving us Mike’s perspective the last two seasons (despite him being the original protagonist) means nothing and it isn’t setting up his POV to be revealed in s5 bc the entire audience is completely comfortable with where Mike stands as a character in regards to his deeper feelings/motives. No confusion there so no need to address that. Mike saying How will I survive a whole week without you guys at the start of s4 wasn't foreshadowing his fate at the end of said week. Mike standing in front of exit signs 3+ times in s4 is probably just a coincidence. Mike being associated with gaping mouths in multiple moments spanning the entire series, even going back to his very first line on the show, means nothing at all. Nancy’s vision about her family (Mike) dying was mentioned at the end of s4, but it didn’t happen so probably won’t ever happen, even though there’s still another season left set directly after the events of s4. Will calling Mike the heart and how without heart they’d all fall apart, was not in any shape form foreshadowing something happening to Mike and them all falling apart, bc Mike is definitely just a prop and everything in relation to his story only holds meaning on the surface or for other characters arcs and couldn’t possibly be hinting at something deeper that’s being saved as one of the many surprises for the last season.

[iron-cutting-meteor-sword]

you know, I miss when the gang would try to kill each other and it wasn’t played as like a super sad angsty thing but instead was like looney tunes violence where they’re trying to kill each other for being mildly annoying or for some silly plot reason and just constantly one-upping each other in hilarious ways. Shit where neither of these guys are trying to kill each other w guns or swords or anything like that but instead choosing the funniest most contrived methods possible to try and get the other

[teamfortresstwo]

Uhh not the happiest cause I kinda started on this last minute (can you tell by the fact that I am a day late?) but !!! HAPPY STATICAPPLE WEEK ! My first ever hazbin ship back when it was in its pilot days so you KNOW I can’t just miss out !

[prismatica-the-strange]

Nope, I'm still crying

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

[wavetapper]

the grip this fucking soundtrack has on my brain man

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ baby love - 𝐋𝐍𝟒 𖤓

（ 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 ）𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗑 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖼𝗋𝗎𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾，𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾

𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ✫ 𝗂 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗓𝖾𝗋𝗈 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗌 𝗂’𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌 𝗂 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈 𝖻𝖺𝖽

🝮

yn

liked by pierregasly and 3,972,561 others

yn the past 2 days

landonorris baby love my baby love

⤷ yn i need ya, oh how i need ya

⤷ alex_albon just date already please

⤷ georgerussell63 Seriously, it’s getting old at this point

⤷ carlossainz55 Seriously, it’s seriously getting old. Seriously Lando. Seriously.

⤷ landonorris 😏

⤷ yn not yet

⤷ landonorris 😔

sharls.eclair carlos telling lando to date his BABY SISTER is another level of approval

landolovesyn lando norris don’t know what to do with allat

⤷ landonorris instagram should make a dislike button

⤷ yn bruv

francisca.cgomes is that another lando shopping spree i see?? 👀

⤷ yn yurppp

carlossainz55 Brat baby

⤷ yn stay mad

alexandrasaintmleux Pretty baby

⤷ lordperceval i love how a lot of her nicknames have baby in them 😭

maxfewtrell Why’s bro hanging out of the golf cart

⤷ yn fattie almost tipped us over

♥︎ by landonorris

🝮

landonorris

liked by judebellingham and 1,138,642 others

landonorris supposed to be in a meeting but my baby love got bored

mclaren The meeting is about you Lando, please join immediately

⤷ landonorris no hablo inglés

judebellingham 😍😍

⤷ landonorris brah 😐

carlossainz55 Please return my baby sister unharmed and in one piece please

lilymhe Cutie pie 💘💘

⤷ yn you’re the reason why 😉

alex_albon My invite must’ve gotten lost in the mail or something

⤷ georgerussell63 Mine too

⤷ yn or something

maxfewtrell Why don’t you skip meetings for me lando norris?

estiebestie ‘my baby love’ will never get tired of hearing him call her that 🥹

oscarpiastri Yeah mate I just got a ass chewing for you being so down bad

⤷ danielricciardo So down bad for a girl you’re not even dating

⤷ landonorris Alright bro who asked you??

charles_leclerc I know that smile, she just got her fries and milkshake delivered

⤷ landonorris whatever dude. what. ever.

🝮

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo and 1,211,874 others

landonorris heaven on earth

yn awhh lan you sweet talker

alexandrasaintmleux Correct 😍❤️

charles_leclerc “Did you take it?”

⤷ arthur_leclerc “Does it look candid?”

⤷ yn it’s like you guys are praying on my downfall idk

oscarpiastri I’m afraid she had you wrapped around her finger mate

⤷ carlossainz55 Like a puddle in the palm of her hand

⤷ sainzpoet hello??

lilymhe Sooo pretty I’m in love 💕

⤷ landonorris no I’M in love not you lily

alex_albon Petition for lando and y/n to start dating already

⤷ landonorris i’ll be waiting for whenever she’s ready

⤷ yn grwm

♥︎ by landonorris and 628,139 others

francisca.cgomes giving mermaid 🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

logansargeant Is that my paddle board?

⤷ yn of course not why would you think such a thing logan…

🝮

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55 and 3,816,922 others

landonorris first date kinda nervousss

carlossainz55 And we all clapped

alexandrasaintmleux The sigh I just sighed

maxfewtrell Oooh going for the elegant look I see 😉

landoonewin SCREAMINGRIGHTNOW

georgerussell63 Looking like a million bucks

charles_leclerc Cheeee lookin snazzy

francisca.cgomes for sure giving old money

alex_albon someone cleans up nice

oscarpiastri Bro manifested this

estiebestie i love that everyone is freaking out because lando wore a suit 😭😭

carmenmmundt Can’t wait to hear all about it from my babayyy

yn 🙉🙉 i got ready guys

pierregasly Don’t forget deodorant

landonorris why is everyone acting like this is my first time taking a girl out

⤷ carlossainz55 This is your first time taking THE girl out

⤷ landonorris you right

🝮

yn

liked by madisonbeer and 5,518,690 others

yn first & last boyfriend

landonorris DAMN STRAIGHT

landonorris LANDO NORIZZ WHO? I DONT KNOW RHAY GUY

landonorris ON TOP OF THE WORLD RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️❤️

alexandrasaintmleux Yess babyyy so so happy for you love 💞

alexandrasaintmleux Leo is very happy too

⤷ yn awhhh stop i miss you two

carmenmmundt Proud to say that I’ve been here since day 1❣️

francisca.cgomes an official wag instead of an honorary one now!!!

lilymhe I guess it’s okay only because he’s been dedicated forever

lilyzneimer 🩵🩵

alex_albon lando’s having a field day

🝮

landonorris

liked by yukitsunoda0511 and 4,126,255 others

landonorris i’d wait a million more lifetimes for you baby love 🤍

georgerussell63 Crazy son of a bitch did it

carlossainz55 But why is that picture in your camera roll Lando Norris?

⤷ landonorris april fools!!! hahaha!!! 😥

charles_leclerc Got the girl

maxfewtrell Let’s go boys 🙌🏽🥇

mclaren We love to see the progress of this beautiful love story 🧡

alexandrasaintmleux This is so cute

alex_albon Finally got wifed up 🥳🥳

scuderiaferrari Our favorite love story 🫣

lewishamilton Young love

fernandoalo_oficial Crazy kids

danielricciardo At last

yn of course 💓

carlossainz55 And they lived happily ever after

[theonottsbxtch]

Can we get oscar x teacher smau since school is starting over here in America?

Professor Piastri? | OP81

an: thank you so much for this request! i had so much fun with it. i had to remake this three times because tumblr kept deleting my progress 🫠. good luck with the start of school soon!

fc: pinterest

requests: open

messages between oscar and yn

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, logansargeant, mclaren and 983,836 others

only 34 days left 🙃

*tap to load comments*

userone: I WANT MORE B&W PHTOOS 💳💥💳💥

usertwo: what is op81 doing in a library?

landonorris: summer break is in 15 days you muppet

oscarpiastri: i know, i can count

landonorris: right and i’m world champion

userthree: i need more photographer oscar content

logansargeant: i swear it was 28 days the other day?

oscarpiastri: no ☹️

userfour: what does logan know🤨

userfive: me 🤝 oscar, both having important things in 34 days

usersix: ooh what’s yours!!

userfive: school break!

twitter

imessage between oscar and yn

ynprivate

liked by yourbestfriend, oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 19 others

getting to see the hubby live at work 🥰

*tap to load more comments*

yourbestfriend: HOW DOES IT FEEL FHAT OSCAR PIASTRI, YOUR HUSBAND, IS NOW A GRAND PRIX WINNER

ynprivate: SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP I CANT EVEN CELEBRATE WITH HIM

oscarpiastri: you can celebrate with me in the hotel room

logansargeant: ew get a room

oscarpiastri: i’m trying to

yourcoworker: THIS is why you didn’t want to meet up for coffee and mark papers?!

ynprivate: 😅🤭

logansargeant: my favourite secret wag i swear

ynprivate: how many secret wags do you know?

logansargeant: 🤐

twitter

f1wags

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree and 981,264 others

BREAKING‼️

the shock. the disbelief. the dismay for some. oscar piastri married?! today the world is shocked to find out that one of the grid’s most charming drivers has been secretly married for years! that’s right, married. the news was bought to us after a screenshot was leaked on twitter from yn (his wife)‘s private instagram where she was seen posting him with the caption “getting to see the hubby live at work🥰”. the woman identified as yn ln, still goes by her maiden name was a girl he met while at boarding school.

yn ln is currently a teacher in england, and the couple has managed to keep their relationship entirely under the radar. sources close to the couple reveal that they chose to keep their marriage private due to her career in education, wanting to protect her from the intense public scrutiny that comes with being associated with an f1 star (hence the reason she has kept her maiden name)

the screenshot, which shows a sweet picture of oscar looking into her camera, has sent the f1 fandom into spirals!

despite the sudden exposure, oscar and his wife have yet to comment on the leak. the secrecy surrounding around their relationship only adds to the intrigue, leaving fans and media outlets waiting with bated breath.

who is oscar piastri and what more is he hiding?

*photos credit to yn’s instagram*

oscarpiastri

liked by ynprivate, landonorris, logansargeant and 923,746 others

cats out the bag now, mrs piastri everyone. only 11 more days until her summer break!

*tap to load more comments*

userone: that’s what the countdown was about 🥹

usertwo: oh hell nawh they both hot

userthree: how long have they been together what?!

logansargeant: married for two years but together for much longer, i’ve known since 2019☺️

landonorris: oscar we are NOT friends

oscarpiastri: i am sorry, i had to respect the mrs’ wishes

landonorris: LOGAN HAS KNOWN FOR SIX YEARS THAT YOU HAD A PARTNER

landonorris: i was low-key starting to think you were gay mate

ynprivate: i’m so sorry!! i just didn’t want work and private life to get mixed up

landonorris: i guess i can somewhat forgive him

ynprivate: yay! maybe we can meet for coffee to get to know you better, osc talks so much about you :)

landonorris: he talks about me 🥹

userfour: i think they broke the internet for good this time

userfive: helpppp lando in the comments 😭😭

usersix: imagine your teacher being oscar piastri’s WIFE

userseven: i hope nicole didn’t find out through instagram

nicolepiastri: no, but i did find out he got engaged three weeks after it happened!

alex_albon: @/landonorris take this L and hold it you dweeb

landonorris: 🖕🖕

[ploncc]

i always assumed that i had a slow metabolism since i could go a rather long time eating very little and only realize once i was Suddenly Very Fucking Hungry that i'd missed a meal, but recently i have realized that i may, in fact, actually just have adhd and a fast metabolism, and that chronically just-slightly-under-eating may, in fact, explain quite a few Weird Things my body and brain have, in fact, been up to.