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#like this is of course of i am actually autistic. i still feel like i can't say i am cause i have no right you know?
hatchetings · 1 day
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here you asked for people to ask for headcannons so here are so specific requests:
Paul and Richie; are they related?
Which characters do you hc as transgender (if you hc any of them as trans at all)
Stephanie Lauter headcannons?
hope the requests are good :)
thank you for actually giving me substance!! just asking about headcanons is NOT enough. i need people to ask me specifically cus my brain doesn’t work like!!
paul and richie… are related in my mind but i don’t think they’re what people headcanon them as popularly.
i think they’re cousins.
and people are going say “paul is like 15 years older than richie, they can’t be cousins!” well, i have cousins 15 years older than me. it’s possible.
i think paul has had to babysit him a couple times growing up, but they don’t actually see each other as much. like he’ll visit richie sometimes, but other than that it’s a surprise if he does. they’re not really close, but i think paul is like a go-to contact if something happens to richie. whether it be because there’s no other family that still lives in hatchet or something similar, who knows!
i do like to think paul went to the homecoming games with emma while richie was the mascot and just laughed at him fumbling. and the first time they went, emma told him to stop and that he’s making fun of a high schooler and he shakes his head and says, “it’s okay, that’s my cousin.”
trans headcanons! speaking of richie… yeah. like i’m not a huge fan of the character (doesn’t mean i dislike him, there just a lot of characters i like more) but i see him as transmasc. now, to preface this next one, i do like this character. duke. i also see duke as transmasc.
and also. ethan is genderfluid. because i said so and just look at them.
i rest my case.
there are probably a couple more that i’m blanking on because i just woke up but.
steph headcanons!! imo she’s pan. and she’s autistic.
because when i tell you the two “bratty” teenagers in hatchetfield (mostly talking abt alice & steph) aren’t bratty and actually are just showing signs of autism. i think people might come after me but it’s because that’s how my autism currently displays now!
anyways. i don’t have too many broad ones but. i have a couple specific ones. that… are a little dumb but!!
i like to think she constantly calls pete dork or nerd (affectionately, of course) so much so that she forgets his name sometimes.
she’s also pretty good at art. why do i feel this way? just look at her, that’s an art kid right there.
she goes to the school plays and musicals to hatewatch (or so she says) and gets pissed at herself in the end because she really really enjoyed them.
again i probably have more but my brain is going BLANK rn i am just waking up
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proxythe · 4 months
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im thinking about first year healer akihiko again and how he would try his best to heal shinji & mitsuru through each battle since he’s the only one who can. how he might accidentally miss them getting injured occasionally because he’ll quickly focus on fighting instead … so he has to patch up what he missed when they get back to the dorms …
+ thinking about shinji and mitsuru sitting there as akihiko bandages them up, n he’s telling them to be more careful n they’re just thinking “how are we the ones being scolded here… by him of all people” 💆
++ akihiko years later being hella good at patching ppl up bc he was put on healing duty in their first year on top of his boxing & general rowdiness… hes so serious about making sure his team is properly healed & bandaged… im so very ill about medic akihiko… thank you…
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Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.
#I’m not even sure if the ADHD is actually ADHD either or if it’s just technology addiction#Gonna get a REAL neuropsych evaluation at some point out of sheer curiosity as to what the fuck is wrong with me#I relate to a lot of autistic things and I relate to a lot of ADHD things; but I don’t entirely relate to the majority of either population#and I don’t relate to people with both enough to think I have both#I’ve begun treating myself as if I am autistic just for Kicks and using things that help them and it’s helping in some ways#but I know it’s probably not autism because even though I struggle socially; it’s not because of the same reasons#I understand social cues; I was only accidentally perceived as rude as a kid (and most kids are kind of blunt)#(Mostly a moderate amount of “Stop correcting me! It’s disrespectful!” from my parents)#And nowadays because of how much psychology and acting I study; I can perceive shrimp social cues#And I’m purposefully doing all the right things but it still feels like I fail social interactions because of my lack of assertiveness#which I KNOW come from being raised in a cult#so perhaps my odd social behavior is from CPTSD from being raised in a puritan doomsday cult as an only child#Because I was NOT introverted or sensitive to others as a child#I did not have routines as a child and the ones I did have were for fun and did not distress me if I strayed from them#But now I need structure as an adult because I don’t know what else to do with myself if I have nowhere to be#But at the same time everyone feels worse when they have no routine or expectations#And is it actually inattentive ADHD or severe derealization and an itch to do as many things as possible#because I spent my childhood being raised in a boring doomsday cult by disabled older parents who couldn’t physically do much?#(And I don’t fault my parents for being disabled but I do fault them for the whole doomsday cult thing)#So I spent my whole childhood doing mentally tedious things when really I’m more wired for physically spontaneous things#Because I was not allowed to walk around the neighborhood alone until I was sixteen#And I couldn’t hang out with friends I wanted to hang out with because they were bad association#So of course I got really good at drawing even though I don’t even like drawing that much#Of course I got really good at writing even though I don’t like writing that much#Now that I don’t need to escape from anything I find I actually hate drawing and writing because it’s such a chore#they make my heart rate accelerate in a way I don’t like to feel#(I hate writing less than drawing)
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aeolids-zenith · 1 year
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i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless
#space chirrup#idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me#i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted#possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful#(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't)#i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that#but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests#i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy.#but i don't want that with someone i don't know already.#but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general#does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am#bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a#plan i could just do it without medication#but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg#ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night#people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral#like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for#and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it.#though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll
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fascinating lens on taylor's goings on in s6 there re: Romance. epic win that they have rian turn them down but i'm also really not sure why they did. oh you know, rian who's always defined by being so prudent [montage of actually pretty much everything seemingly defining rian has been pretty anti prudent] like ok w/e
but we start out with taylor Particularly Unmotivated By Work and instead watching a The Bachelor beach proposal which involves extasis through this Reality(tm) pastiche of romance. i am assuming. wherein the journey Ends with this transcendent all-consuming joy upon the realization of said Romance for one contestant. then when their somehow still bestie mafee (relevant tangents about how all taylor's relationships seem to involve their having an approach where they have low standards like "well but i guess this is all i can get / expect" including that they can't even necessarily expect shit they like/enjoy/are at all supported by, while readily accepting whatever blame/reproach from others) is like "gee but are you really happy" they're apparently inspired to pursue happiness by pursuing romance. which they seem to consider is possible only through rian, intriguing here when the entire basis of their dynamic seems to be [trapped in work hell together] like boy we have nothing outside our jobs? i sure hope we can be Everything to each other then :) and how it's even more baffling that rian is completely unbaffled by this development when you might operate on some assumptions like "you should have ever seemed to enjoy any interactions you've ever had" to consider choosing more vulnerability and more time / effort spent on this relationship, and "you also don't need to have Found Fault with someone / otherwise have some grievances or dislike of them to not want to date them" especially if rian's apparent sense of responsibility for taylor's theoretical negative feelings about rejection supposedly doesn't involve thinking about any power dynamics, she just feels the need to repeatedly reassure them she'd actually Love to date or have sex but she's just so set on not dating through work, b/c of the complications, that she's never considered not having casual sex with bosses and also never mentioned this stance to turn down winston nor done anything but revel in how he might feel about even being rejected as a conversational partner. too prudent to mention it. certainly also a relevant matter that it Need Not Be Explained to anyone that winston for one is excluded as a potential Romantic partner for pretty much everyone i guess. whilest as this potential mirror to taylor, he's not only considering specifically rian w/"we're similar; let's hang out; i'd like to have sex maybe even" (though winston's sexuality, like his communicative capacities, is also simply Not Allowed) but also seems to be like "i guess this is all i can get / expect" or hanging on for a long time to the possibility of Otherwise at his own expense or taking blame / whatever pretty egregious treatment like. taylor being willing to talk to wendy still is akin to winston still being willing to talk to rian. though maybe that's changed by the end of s6; it'd be very warranted after the pretty make or break [rian & winston Share An Interest; hang out outside work about it] moment there and also after Everything Else on its own, just like how it'd be very warranted if taylor expecting Nothing Better from wendy could turn into their hardly being willing to interact
anyways, sure is fortunate for taylor (or is it???) that Work becomes more enriching for them suddenly, and through someone with whom they have this promising personal dynamic with, a Peer with whom, in fact, they do both seem to find reward in interacting with each other / want and choose to do so, imagine, while [reiterating for emphasis]: they are both finding reward in interacting and feeling Complementary rather than only seeing exactly themself in each other, while having this respect for each other and flexibility and knowing they don't Have to work together, and may not always be doing so.
but most to the point it sure is something that the season starts off with taylor being dissatisfied with their work situation and responding by not being at work and instead watching people be overjoyed about their (also, relevantly, Peak Normal Correct Cishet) romance, though they don't outright claim to straightforwardly enjoy this. then they Do outright claim to us repeatedly, if ever begrudgingly, that everything rian does is worthy &/or sympathetic (and totally comprehensible and consistent so as to believably retain any sense of Character....) while every time they interact, it's a business meeting and one or both of them is unhappy about some part of it. but then once taylor's asked to think about their happiness Beyond Work they apparently are simply motivated to go ask someone out, and it may as well be rian For Lack Of A Better Option really, but then there's the wrench of "for some reason rian is unsurprised and not at all put off by this, or even just somewhat confused" and "for some reason rian's like 'sorry but no. fr im soooo sorry'" with these perspectives of [happiness Outside Work = romance] and [someone deemed Objectively Worthy = you'd of course at least consider romance, or else you must think actually they're Unworthy in some way, or have some more general Reason you'd reject others categorically in just the same way] (rian rejecting winston for unworthiness so much that she doesn't even need to bother actually telling him as much; rejecting taylor for [i don't date through work] with followups to reassure them it's Not the unworthiness) (that on and off paper winston & taylor have no reason to not be kissing but i think we can assume that won't happen, b/c billions itself may also assume we understand that [winston is unworthy] is just true. &/or that anyone Worthy understands as much)
so hoping that taylor has Some kind of enriching lasting relationship with philip, truly, which was the hopes for winston and rian but the updated hope is his enriching lasting disengagement with rian, f
#winston billions#AND rian having some of the worst material re: sex billions has ever inflicted upon us. impressive. sorry to this character#(and like.................has she Not prior had casual sex through work while she's been willing to do so / hasn't had nights & weekends??)#that makes no sense either. it's for winston's sake i'm glad she hasn't tried to be fwb there#wouldn't it be fun if we got s7 genderfluid rian. but we won't. fr it's like....why'd we get this character at all lmao#would've made more sense if she left at the end of s6 too. while the best thing we've gotten is taylor getting to further distinguish#themself from axe in of course good ways. the associated [philip seems so much more like A Character than rian despite also being new]#difficult to work in ''rian would be abusive towards winston if they were dating b/c she Already Is as (sometimes) work friends'' when#another issue is that rian's material isn't really being Examined when every character can only remark abt how cool & correct she always is#ultimately; at least....taylor you caaan't actually be mad at rian; gotta be some Other issue you're having bad feelings about....#that winston being introduced so peripherally it was meant to be a oneoff & while (as viewed by other characters) being Incorrect and#Unsympathetic has created the conditions for someone who does end up w/this stronger sense of Being A Character#he's even autistic....while rian is adhd and hostile like ''at least i'm allistic and meritous''#like yes i Will talk to you more than others maybe but offscreen & i Will also be bullying you b/c i am willing to and i certainly can.#dunno what to say about winston and tuk b/c we've still seen so relatively little & idk what we'll get for winston in s7#that it's will's updated foul play website bio that Confirms he'll be in s7 at all; but i'm still not supposing he'll def get more than an#episode or two or w/e. or i suppose he could be sent off & return; they're still in production mode over there after all#i would really doubt canon would give us that romance but it would be....i dunno. earthshaking really lol haven't given it the most thought#canon might also think that would be insulting to tuk or something....#or say As Much w/that continual threat of ''improving'' winston by making him Choose to be more normal now (:#everyone's always giving him the organic aba (abuse) either way but umm the Least you could do would be absorb it & Stop Bringing It Upon#Yourself....still supposing it's possible that their being Friends is considered to be dragging tuk back / dooming him to Loserdom#but as or more likely: he got to talk to tuk in the last ep to get him out of the way. it will never get focus#oh i went off track up there: finishing the thought to say i suppose it's assumed rian would not be shitty towards taylor like she would be#towards winston b/c they're Worthier; not supposedly inferior to her even as winston is considered to be#hence that rian Can give winston shit whenever she wants but just so happens to Not be that way towards anyone else. makes you think#mfw i run out of room writing on one page abt cam stone like ''i could've been more clearly relationship anarchist with it :(''
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sherlock-is-ace · 2 years
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#midnight thoughts before going to bed (feel free to ignore)#but today i realized two major things about myself and my mental illness#1. i was reminded that when you have an anxiety disorder your body has a hard time telling the difference between anxiety and excitement#and suddenly my whole life made sense lol#the amount of times i didn't do something that i really wanted to do because it caused me MAJOR anxiety#and it was probably excitement actually but my body went into full fight or flight mode#and 2. i realized that my masking is actually causing me physical pain#like this is of course of i am actually autistic. i still feel like i can't say i am cause i have no right you know?#but objectively i'm like 98% sure i have autism#ANYWAYS masking is usually just forcing eye contact or not stiming in public (as much)#but today i realized that when i hear loud noises or too many at the same time my instinct is to cover my ears#but i don't because that's ''weird'' or will make people ask questions that i don't really know how to answer#so i don't cover my ears i just sit through it in actual pain and hope for the best#and the worst part of this is that when i say ''masking in public'' i mean in my own damn home#because of my mom and the fact that she doesn't believe i have issues#i think it's my fault tho i shouldn't have mentioned my self diagnosis while we were watcing the good doctor (and later attorney woo)#because those two are her only reference for what autism is/looks like and i'm not like that#i mean for the most part... the good doctor was the reason i realize i might be autistic#and woo's struggle with revolving doors hit a bit too close to my heart lol#but anyways...#i need to deal with my out of control anxiety#and i'm pretty sure i am autistic...#those are the conclusions of this post lol#angel talks#personal
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bratzforchris · 5 months
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Sunflowers
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Summary: Chris gets distracted easily. Like really, really easily. When he gets separated from Matt and Nick in the mall, he meets a lovely soul who understands just a little bit more than anyone else.
Pairing: ADHD!Chris x autistic!feminine reader
Warnings: Neurodivergent overstimulation, getting lost, crying, brief mentions of ableism
Word Count: 2.1k
A/N: The sunflower lanyard (pictured above) signifies that someone has a hidden or invisible disability and may need extra assistance/patience/kindness. I am not saying or assuming Chris actually has ADHD. If he doesn't, cool, if he does, also cool! This is all for fun and for diversity in the fandom<3 Enjoy!!
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ADHD was a difficult thing to live with. It was more than just the stereotype of “Oh look! Squirrel!”. It was a constant condition that caused a lot of impact on one’s day-to-day life and happiness. Chris knew this better than just about anyone. Having been diagnosed in middle school, he found himself on a constant pendulum between spaced out with his head all over the place and extra hyper. Though he was medicated for it, there were still days where his body and mind were consumed with extra hyperactivity and energy, meaning he could be easily distracted, rambunctious, and fidgety. 
Both Matt and Nick were aware of their younger brother’s diagnosis and were extremely supportive of it, letting Chris run wild when he needed to and gently reminding him to take his meds and do his other daily tasks now that they no longer lived with their parents. The youngest really couldn’t have asked for a better support system, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t days where his brain betrayed him for quite literally no reason. 
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
“Do you want your lanyard, Chris?” Matt asked as he grabbed his car keys off the hook near the garage door. 
The key rack held all of the boy’s keys and things they would need when they left the house, but it also held Chris’ green and yellow sunflower lanyard. These lanyards were a universal symbol that someone had a hidden or invisible disability and might need some extra kindness and assistance when they left their house. Chris had fought the idea at first, claiming that he didn’t need that; he rarely struggled in public. However, the change after he had agreed to try one due to Nick’s pleading to give it a shot had been immense. Strangers no longer looked at him like he was rude when he couldn’t help to butt in or play with his fidget toys as an adult, nor did shop owners hastily bat his hands away when he just wanted to touch things in stores. Of course, there were still bigots, but the improvement was more than he could have asked for. 
Now, Chris possessed his own sunflower lanyard, complete with a small card attached that read “I have ADHD. I can act restless and tend to fidget. I may act on impulse and have trouble concentrating. Please be patient and understanding.” and had both Matt and Nick’s names and phone numbers on it in case of an emergency. His lanyard also had a few pins, buttons, and pop-its on it so that the boy would always have something to fidget with. 
“It’s probably a good idea,” Nick added, coming down the stairs and typing out something on his phone. “Christmas is next week. The mall is going to be busy.”
Being triplets, Matt and Nick were incredibly in-tune with Chris and each other, and both boys could tell that today was going to be a more hyper, easily distracted day for their younger brother. Normally, they would’ve postponed busy, crowded spaces and must-do errands for a day where Chris was feeling more mellowed out, but they flew back home to Boston in just a few short days and had yet to buy Christmas presents for, well, anyone. 
Slowly thinking over the situation at hand, Chris grabbed his lanyard off the hook and placed it over his neck, but it wasn’t long until he had moved on to something else. “Do you guys think that there are triplets just like us?” he asked as Matt corralled him out the door. “But like, in China or something?”
The drive to the mall had been much longer than anticipated with all the holiday traffic, which allowed Chris more time to let his mind wander, blurting out every random thought he had as he played with the shark pop-it on his lanyard. Luckily, Nick quickly engaged the youngest in all his conversations so that Matt could focus, his own head spinning as he tried to keep up with Chris’ mile-a-minute chatter. 
“We should go people watching,” Chris announced as Matt parked their car inside of the heavily filled parking garage. “We could probably see some crazy shit. Speaking of which, did you guys see that episode of Live PD last night?”
Matt and Nick shared a glance over Chris’ head as they walked into the mall. The more Chris talked, the more he began to fidget, earning stares from onlookers, despite his lanyard. The mall was insanely crowded, which could either help or hurt. Somedays, Chris absolutely thrived in chaos, able to hyperfocus and get tasks done in record time. On others, his brain became so stimulated by chaos and change that he would shut down, often losing his ability to executive function in the process. Today was an absolute toss up. 
“Let the games begin.” Nick mumbled, grabbing his brothers’ hands and sliding through the crowds. 
As ‘cringy’ as it was, the triplets still held hands with each other in public, especially after Chris had received his ADHD diagnosis. Matt and Nick felt an almost protective sense over their younger brother, opting to help keep him safe when his brain didn’t always remind him to do that himself. 
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Things had been going fine for well over an hour now, but it was starting to become too much for Chris. They had already gotten presents for their dad and Justin, and were now on the hunt for a gift for their mother. As much as they loved and adored MaryLou, shopping for a woman as 20 year old men in a mall this crowded was a task. 
The youngest triplet was beginning to become overstimulated. His own thoughts had already been so loud and so chaotic this morning, and to add hoards of people, blaring Christmas music, screaming kids, and overwhelming smells from the food court wasn’t helping. He hadn’t meant to get separated from Nick and Chris; the boys had been poring over the jewelry counter in Macy’s when Chris dropped Nick’s hand, opting to pull his Airpods out of his pocket. Maybe if he could listen to the music he liked and that calmed him down, he could manage the rest of this trip without a meltdown. 
Chris had just slipped his earbuds in and pressed play on Life of a Dark Rose when he realized that neither Matt nor Nick was standing next to him. Not yet panicked, he looked around the floor of the department store, searching for Matt’s Red Sox hat or Nick’s blond hair above the crowd. When that didn’t work, he simply shot a quick text in their sibling group chat that read where are you guys??. Much to his discomfort, the text quickly came back with a ‘cannot be delivered’ message, making the brunette curse when he realized that the signal in the store was awful. 
“Excuse me, ma’am. Did you see where my brothers went? They have tattoos. One’s blond and has a nose ring, the other was wearing a hat?” Chris asked the lady at the jewelry counter hopefully. 
Either not noticing his lanyard or not caring, the employee turned her back to Chris, leaving him desperate. He didn’t know his way around this mall at all, his phone wasn’t working, and it was beyond crowded. How was he supposed to find Matt and Nick? What if they left without him? He couldn’t drive and he had left his wallet with Nick. How would he get home? This was just a glimpse into the anxiety that circulated through Chris’ mind whenever he became overstimulated. 
The brunette felt his eyes beginning to grow wet, cursing himself under his breath. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t cry. Not here. Chris wiped a few stray tears that were running down his cheeks and began to retreat to a quiet area of the store to contemplate his next move. The last thing he needed was for a ‘fan’ to snap a photo of him crying and overstimulated and post it online. 
The children’s toy area proved to be the perfect place for him to hide. With all the stock having been bought out for the day in the holiday rush, the department was completely empty. Chris sat down on one of the leather benches, running his hands through his hair as a stim and anxiously checking his phone in hopes of regaining signal. He was so caught up in his anxious stimming and trying not to have a meltdown, that he hadn’t even noticed someone appear beside him. 
“Are you okay? I saw your lanyard,” You offered kindly. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Chris looked up at you, taking in your appearance. You were absolutely beautiful, dressed in a soft, sensory friendly outfit with a purple cow Squishmallow clutched to your side. That wasn’t what caught his attention, though. What truly caught his attention was the sunflower lanyard hanging around your own neck. Glancing briefly at the card, Chris noticed it read “I’m autistic”. 
“Can I sit?” You asked, gesturing to the empty spot next to the boy. 
Chris nodded, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat. “I can’t find my brothers.” he admitted tearfully. 
“Is that who’s with you?” You asked knowingly, having been in similar situations yourself. “Do you want to call them?”
“I can’t. My phone won’t send the fucking text and they were just with me and I can’t find them. What if they left me?” the more Chris talked, the upset he became, anxiously chewing on his nails. 
“Hey hey hey, it’s okay. They wouldn’t leave you. Would you like a fidget?” You pulled a tangle from your purse, holding it out for the boy to take.
Chris stared at you for a moment before tentatively taking the toy from you, instantly focusing on the colors and movement of the plastic. “...thank you.” he whispered. 
“Would it be okay if I touched you?” You asked gently. From your own experience, you knew that it was important in situations like these to ask for consent to touch someone who was overstimulated. “My lanyard has my emergency contact on it. Does yours? Maybe we can work together to find your brothers.”
Chris nodded softly, allowing you to softly look at his lanyard and identify both Matt and Nick’s phone numbers and names. By some miracle, your phone had much better service than Chris’ did, allowing you to let both brothers know where you were and that Chris was looking for them. 
“So, tell me about yourself if you want to.” You tried to make easy conversation to take the brunette’s mind off his current overstimulation and panic. 
“‘M a YouTuber,” Chris muttered softly, highly subdued. “And I like rap music and y’know, I have ADHD.” when he saw your soft, blushy smile and attentive listening, Chris became more animated. 
“I’ve always thought YouTube would be a cool job. I’m a pet sitter. I love animals so much. They’re one of my special interests.” You nodded to your cow stuffed animal. 
Chris remembered reading about the term when he was doing some self reflecting on being neurodivergent. Although he didn’t experience them himself, he knew that they were an enormous part of being autistic, and he felt grateful that you were willing to share something like that with him. 
“How did you, um, find me?” Chris asked shyly. 
“Well, I came to see if they had any stuffed animals because I love them, but instead I found you.” You smiled, fiddling with your own fidget toy. 
You and Chris continued to chat as you waited for his brothers. The difference in his personality when you first found him to now was like night and day. He had become more animated over the course of your conversation, talking with his hands, eyes aglow. You looked up when you noticed two men who looked eerily similar to Chris walk up next to you. In your head, you connected the dots that the boys must have been triplets. The blond who approached you had a hard look on his face as he noticed his brother talking to a stranger, but when his eyes caught your lanyard, he visibly relaxed. 
“Matt! Nick!” Chris squealed, leaping off the bench and pulling his brothers into a hug. 
You watched with a soft smile, thinking the sibling’s embrace was cute until the brother in the Red Sox hat turned to you. 
“Thank you,” he told you sincerely. “Thank you for helping him.”
“It’s really not a problem.” You were becoming shy under the attention, but Chris came up and wrapped his arm around you. 
“I love her,” Chris said, before blushing as he realized what he had said. “Not like that! I…I mean…” he stuttered. 
“I’ll give you my number,” You chuckled, standing on your tiptoes and kissing Chris on the cheek. “For being such a sweetheart.”
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vanderdyks · 5 months
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I geniunely cannot stand when allistics try to say Resident Alien is actually making fun of autistic people because they believe Harry is too childish now because I JUST-
In the beginning, Harry tried SO MUCH HARDER to fit in with the humans around him. He mimicked their speech patterns, consistently observed them, emersed himself in their activities so they wouldn't suspect he was different.
The Harry now? He doesn't care. He's loud in places he should be quiet. He talks how he wants. He laughs FREELY. He's learned large crowds of people? Not for him. He doesn't like being touched by strangers.
He's just Harry. Himself. Because he can be. Because he's realized even if some of the people of Patience find him strange, it doesn't matter. They'll never guess he's from outer space.
Have you noticed that every other alien we have seen is not like Harry? Not the greys, or the half human hybrids, not even Heather. When Heather is around humans who know she is an alien, we get to see the difference, but when she isn't? She fits in so well with any other neurotypical human.
Not Harry though. So yes, he is autistic because I said he is. Because I am autistic. And if you're allistic, you don't get to tell autistic people they shouldn't headcanon Harry as autistic (even though it is very obvious they're purposefully playing him as neurodivergent now.)
When you take an autistically coded character that a lot of autistic individuals relate to, and try to argue the character is actually a "child" and being "infantalised," you're actually being ableist.
You're saying that the traits we have resonated with are childish... Harry seems like he's "regressed" because instead of trying to adapt and pretend to be human, he is becoming something else entirely. Not human, but not fully alien either.
The body of doctor Harry Vanderspeigle was once just a disguise. Now it IS Harry's. It's his body, his own skin. And he's gotten comfortable in it and you know this because you deliberately witness times where he might be holding his hands like he would his claws (primarily when he's sleeping.) His brain doesn't realize he's not in his normal form, because in many ways, this is his new normal form.
He has emotions. He cares. He's in completely new territory and finding himself. And in doing so, that carefully crafted human mask? It's fallen a bit.
So that thing you label as "regression" is a thing I label as progress. He's learning still. Let him learn. Let him be. And give it time. And I hope to GOD Harry never becomes fully human to the point we can't recognize him. I hope he never loses his unique inflictions, or his love for pizza and pie. I hope he continues to love the quiet. I hope he ALWAYS laughs obnoxiously. I hope he always runs like he doesn't know what to do with his limbs. I hope you always see his emotions throughout his body because they simply cannot be contained. I hope he continues to jump when excited or pace when he's angry. I hope he stays obsessed with Law & Order forever.
Because if you take all that away, you're taking away the bits that make him Harry. You want a carbon copy human. I want the autistic alien struggling to understand human nature.
That being said, of course you can express your opinion him. And it can be discussed because everyone is going to have a different perspective.
But you don't get to dictate an autistic perspective if you are not autistic. Or try to cancel anyone for it either.
I love Harry. And I relate to him SO MUCH. And I love how much representation I can see him through him for me. Because I personally believe Alan and the writers have chosen to keep presenting this character as ND.
It's okay to dislike the direction of his character development. It's okay to find the flaws. It's okay to share that perspective. What's NOT okay is dictating the feelings of others because they might not agree with you.
I don't find him childish. I see him as an autistic individual trying to navigate a society that his brain hasn't been hardwired to understand.
And if you think he's too childish, please look closer at the why you think he is. Really be introspective on this one.
Because Harry is a parent. And has a child. And he has relationships. And he takes care of himself. Not only that, he is the town doctor and takes care of everyone else too. He is the smartest. He is the strongest. None of the characters have had to worry about the wellfare of Harry specifically. Its why no one realizes the greys have captured him. Because of course Harry would be fine, hes the alien expert. He knows what he's doing. So while everyone else spent so much time worrying about each other, no one was left to worry about Harry.
So ask yourself why you believe Harry has become "too childish" and if your answer comes down to any of his quirky traits or his misunderstandings of human nature, then you really need to consider if what you're actually uncomfortable with is autism/autistic traits.
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bodybahng · 1 month
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when can i take this off?
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masterlist
word count: 2.5k
pairing: lee know x autistic gender neutral reader
warnings: reader is obsessed with foxes (minho pays genuine attention and supports them), this is NOT kinky but there is a comment that could be read as primal play (predator/prey), intimate touches, ‘tummy’ is a word i find cute and use to describe all stomachs in general so it’s still neutral and everyone can feel included, a couple suggestive comments, one very tiny and brief mention of animal abuse
a/n: can you tell this was entirely self-indulgent? lol and i just want to add that the way reader is/acts is based on my own experience! keep in mind that every autistic person is unique and can be different than what i am/wrote 🥰 i had fun with this one, i really hope you guys enjoy it 🤍
if you are a minor or an ageless blog and interact with my content, you will be blocked.
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minho was taken by surprise when you suddenly ran to the living room and jumped by his side on the couch, making him pause the show he was watching.
“hey,” he said with a chuckle, the corners of his mouth turning up once he noticed how happy and excited you looked. “what’s up?”
“there was a study that showed how it’s not painful or harmful when foxes are mousing!” you started saying eagerly.
“oh, really? and why is that?” he turned his body toward you so he didn’t have to strain his neck.
“because of the shape of their elongated snouts, they’re actually able to penetrate the snow instead of compressing it, ‘cause in this case the snow behaves kind of like water, so there’s not much resistance, making them able to reach deeper to catch rodents!”
“oh, that makes sense.” he nodded, trying to picture the scene in his mind.
“yeah, that’s different than if, let’s say, a cat dived its face into the snow like that. it would hurt because their skulls are flat in the front, so the impact could cause them to get hurt since it compresses the snow and creates a resistance that could cause damage to them!” you went on about the research you’d just read on the subject.
“oh, i see… that’s really interesting! nature and evolution and all that is actually really cool, the way that their bodies are just built like that and they can easily hunt and just…be foxes without giving them any injuries is cool,” he added, seeing the way you nodded to his every word with a sparkle in your eyes.
“i know, right?” you grinned, shaking your fists excitedly. “so, reading this paper and then looking up pictures of them made me think of something.”
“hm?” he hummed, looking at you with a curious expression. “what did you think of?”
“you know how foxes are like… so pretty and cute and majestic?” you started, wanting to give him a good set up before outright saying it.
“of course,” he agreed immediately.
“you are also all of those things…” you said a little more quietly, but he still caught it, cocking his head to the side. “i know, you’re wondering how those two things correlate.”
“read my mind.” he chuckled.
“well, i was thinking that maybe i could…” you trailed off, and he encouraged you by placing a hand on your clothed thigh. “i wanna draw fox makeup on you… would you let me, min?”
the question took him off guard, not that he knew what he was expecting you to ask in the first place. he thought you meant painting his skin with bright orange face paint and wrinkled his nose. “i don’t know about that…”
you started pouting, now sitting on your knees so you could prop yourself higher. “pleeease! it’ll be just like normal make up, except i’ll give you a little black snout and whiskers! and…”
“and?”
“and maybe the cute, realistic fox ears headband i have… to give it a little realistic touch.” you were a little flushed now, trying to look anywhere but at him.
“what do i get out of this if i accept?” he let his hand gently come up to tilt your chin to his direction.
“you’ll look really, really cute!” you replied cheerfully while your hands came up to hold his cheeks between them. “and you’ll make me very happy.”
“do i have to wear the ears?” his tone showed he was slightly annoyed, but you knew he didn’t mean it in a bad way.
“please, min,” you pleaded, jutting your lower lip out even more, overdoing your expression to give him your best puppy eyes.
minho wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about doing it and he knew you wouldn’t be mad if he said no. maybe you’d be a little upset, but he knew you would never cross any boundaries if he wanted to set them. however, he was also aware this would pretty much be the same as the countless times he had to wear makeup for work, except it would be more of an artistic one.
“we can eat pudding later! i’ll buy you lots,” you tried bribing him with his favourite dessert.
“you’ll eat them just as much as me, i don’t see how that’s fair. but i don’t mind, you don’t have to buy me that. i’ll do it,” he finally gave in, and now it was his turn to pout.
“YAY!” you shouted, quickly getting up from the couch to jump up and down. he laughed at your reaction, and you tugged at his hand. “i love you, min!”
“yeah, i love you too, i guess,” he joked, staring at your joined hands. “wait, you mean right now?”
you looked at him with furrowed brows until he glanced behind you and your gaze followed his to the TV. “oh, sorry!” you said bashfully, letting him go. “you can keep watching it, i’ll start getting everything ready and you can come to me later.”
“i have this one and then two more episodes left, can i finish them first? it’ll take a couple hours.”
“that’s okay, i already feel a bit bad for interrupting you anyway,” you admitted, leaning in and puckering your lips.
he rolled his eyes playfully and gave you a loud smooch, making you giggle and rub your lips afterwards.
after getting everything ready, you ended up taking a nap since you hadn’t slept well the previous night, hugging minho’s pillow tightly as you drifted off.
you didn’t know for how long you were out when you slowly woke up with the feeling of his front pressing to your back and his arm going around your middle in between you and the pillow, hand resting softly on your tummy.
“hi, baby,” he cooed once he saw you moving and yawning. “i made dinner.”
you shuddered as he lightly squeezed your skin, letting out a breathy sigh. he did it again, making you let his pillow go and turn to face him, his hand now on your lower back and pulling you even closer to him.
“sorry,” he muttered with a grin. “i just love your tummy.”
“and i love that you love it, but you can’t give it too much attention and expect me to be sane about it.” you pecked his lips and hugged him back.
“i would love to keep getting you riled up, but you need some food in you and after that you can transform me into a fox,” he said in feigned aggravation. “as much as i would prefer it if you pounced on me.”
your cheeks grew hot at his comment, that same heat threatening to spread all over you until he sat up and pulled you with him. “come on, baby.”
you both talked about random stuff while eating, and you did the dishes right after, since he was the one to cook. he kept you company, watching you adoringly even as you did something mundane.
“so, where do you wanna do it? in the study room where all your things are?” he asked as you were leaving the kitchen.
“yeah, i think there’s better lightning there,” you agreed, making your way there and having him sit on your chair. “thank you for agreeing, min. you know you can say no to me, right?”
“heh, don’t worry, jagi. i know. but i know you’ll be happy and i don’t mind,” he said, definitely not admitting that he was curious to know how he would look ‘cosplaying’ a fox, specially since his hair was already dyed orange.
“if you’re sure,” you checked one more time before grabbing bunny clips to hold his hair back, away from his face.
“i am,” he reassured and turned his head to the side so he could press a gentle kiss on your palm.
you were both quiet as you did your work, prepping his skin first then starting to grab brushes and palettes to paint his face. you started by applying a soft orange eyeshadow to his lids, adding a little bit of white on top.
for the next step, you did winged eyeliner, finding a balance of not too long, but not too short. then, you followed up by also adding some on the inner corner of his eyes, trying your best to make it resemble a fox. lastly, you glued a few orange and white gems around his eyes.
“can i see how it looks so far?” he broke the silence, startling you a little, and he chuckled “sorry.”
“it’s okay,” you mumbled, picking up a small mirror and handing it to him. “what do you think?”
“oh, that’s pretty! you’re good at this,” he complimented you, eyes looking at you filled with love.
“i’m glad you like it.” you smiled, bringing your hand to hold his face and caressing his lower lip with your thumb. he poked his tongue out, licking your digit and you pulled back with a frown. “why are you like this?”
he let out a small ‘hehe’ before hugging your standing form. “i just love messing with you. and don’t pretend that you don’t like it.”
“i’m well aware that you’re a menace. but you’re my menace and i wouldn’t trade you for anything,” you confessed with the biggest smile.
“not even if you could have a pet fox?” he teased, holding you tighter and pressing a kiss to your clothed stomach.
“well…” you started, and he looked at you with a deadpan expression which caused you to laugh. “would it comfort you to know i’d have a really hard time choosing?”
“no,” he barked, fingers coming up to start tickling you.
“min,” you warned, fingers now playing with his hair before your nails delicately scratched his head. “as much as it would be awesome to have a fox, i know they aren’t pets like dogs or cats. i would only have one if there was no other way to get them out of an abusive situation. so, yeah, i choose you over the fox.”
he let his head fall slightly to the side as he leaned into your touch, a surprised look on his face. “i didn’t know that, now i feel even more special than before.”
“of course you are special,” you spoke softly, meeting him halfway to give him a slow kiss. “i love you.”
“i love you, baby.”
“now stop distracting me and let me finish your look, please.” you smiled as he pouted and took the opportunity to grab a lightly tinted orange lipstick, applying it to give his lips a hint of colour.
you used a darker shade of orange eyeshadow as blush to apply subtly to his cheeks, complementing the art on his eyes. and, for the final touch, you grabbed an eye pencil to mimic the tip of the snout, adding three dots, as well as two whiskers, on each side.
“done!” you said excitedly, stepping back to admire his face. “you look so adorable.”
you took the hair clips out and placed the realistic ears headband on his head, adjusting his hair a bit, not being able to contain your huge toothy smile.
minho got up and walked to the bathroom to look at himself in the big mirror. he wanted to laugh for thinking he looked a little ridiculous, but he didn’t because he didn’t want you to think he was laughing at your work.
“so? what do you think?” you asked from behind him, hands coming around his middle to hug him.
“i think you’re really happy and that makes me happy,” he said, looking at you through the mirror. when he saw your pout, he sighed. “okay, i admit, i feel a little silly, but… i guess i do look cute.”
you squeezed him contentedly at his confession, making him turn around so you could look directly at him once more. “you really do, my foxy boy.”
“you know, it’s funny that you dressed me up as a fox when i’m actually what foxes prey on.” he laughed at the irony.
“i do prey on you, my bunny,” you joked, childishly showing him your tongue. “but i just wanted to put together two ‘things’ i love the most.”
“hmm, i’ll take that,” he replied with a smirk, kissing you carefully to not mess up the makeup. “so… when can i take this off?”
“i had planned to take a few photos… i swear i’m not gonna post them, i’ll keep them for the memories and because i want to bite you.”
“you always want to bite me,” he retorted. making a disgusted face, he let his shoulders slump. “i really do love you a lot if i’m letting you take pictures… but if you ever even think about showing anyone…”
“i won’t,” you promised, running to get your high quality camera and calling him back to your study room.
you took a few pics of him just standing there and sulking a bit, as well as some mid-sentence because he started complaining that it was enough.
“i just wanna ask one more thing…” you tried, lowering the lenses and taking an object from the drawer.
“no, that is way too much,” he complained instantly, shaking his head back and forth.
“please!” you insisted, going up to him and giving your best puppy eyes again. “you can choose whatever you want and i’ll do it or give it to you, just, please, do this one last thing?”
he thought it over. there wasn’t much he could ask that would match the wild request you were making. but there were two things he knew you disliked and would always reject him when he asked, so maybe he could compromise a little, even if in his head they weren’t equivalent.
“if you promise to go camping and fishing with me, i’ll wear the tail.”
what he asked wasn’t even that bad, but you still didn’t want to, especially the fishing part. eventually, you were won over by your desire to see him with the final piece of the ‘costume’. “ugh, okay, deal.”
minho was honestly surprised that you’d accepted, but he tried smiling in victory as you secured it to his pants. once you stepped away and cooed at him, you retrieved your camera from where it sat on the table and started snapping a few more shots.
you had perfect timing, giggling as you started recording him without him knowing, and he finally allowed himself to act silly just for you, shaking his butt to move the tail and showing his teeth in an attempt to look predatory.
“i can’t believe i caught that on video,” you muttered once you lowered your camera, turning it off.
“delete that,” he said with a serious expression. “it’s humiliating enough that i had to wear a tail.”
“i told you it’s just for me, jagi. i promise.”
“okay… you can check the pictures and rewatch me being ridiculously awkward while we plan my, well, our camping trip!” he kissed your cheek before taking the tail and ears off, leaving them on your desk. “are you happy?”
you followed him to your bedroom, carrying your laptop to look at the pictures before sitting next to him on the bed. “very much so. thank you for being such a sweetheart about it, min.”
“of course, there’s not much i wouldn’t do for you. i love you.”
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5 strategies that have improved my executive functioning in 2023
1. Preparing tasks in advance
This tip has been one of the most useful things for me to be able to actually get the things I want to do done without getting stuck in the process. I am very prone to difficulties with task initiation and task switching. Basically I've found that if I check what activities are upcoming for that day in my calendar (but you can use any task that you want to do sometime that day) then I set the task up in advance it's a lot easier to actually do the task.
So if my goal is to stream after dinner then I turn my pc on and have my setup ready to go before dinner. If I want to do a Pilates workout I set up my mat an hour before I actually want to do the workout. If I want to go to the gym I get into gym clothes at the start of the day so I don't have to change later.
I basically eliminate all the difficult prep work and then I find doing the task so much easier when I get to it.
2. Task switching when stuck
A lot of neurodivergent people have issues with getting 'stuck' or 'frozen', myself included. Whether it's autistic inertia or decision paralysis or something else it's very common to find yourself unable to do anything at all. You'll know that even if you put your phone away or stop what you're doing you'll just continue to sit there doing nothing.
The solution to this for me has consistently been to switch goal. I want to get up and shower but can't? I'll find that I can pull my laptop out and get some work done instead (and then shower after lunch later in the day). I am stuck when I want to stream? I find I can do my skincare instead (and I ended up streaming the next day).
Yes this means you don't get your original goal done when you wanted but you get something done, and something is better than nothing.
3. Task chaining
I've found that task chaining is the easiest way for me to get multiple tasks done. It's basically building upon your success. Take the example from my task switching section where I couldn't get myself to start streaming so I decided to do my skincare instead. While doing skincare I remembered I wanted to ask my brother about a particular product. So suddenly I'm capable of going to ask him about it. I couldn't even get out of bed before but now I have the motivation to move (I keep my skincare next to my bed so I didn't have to get up prior to this). After talking to him I decide I can go downstairs and make tea (something I originally wanted to do before streaming but was too stuck to do). While downstairs my mother tells me that she has a pile of laundry for me. I decide to take it back upstairs and put it away immediately. While doing so I figure I may as well sort all the laundry that's piled up on my floor as well.
I've gone from not doing anything to completing 4 separate tasks. If I wanted to get up and put the clothes on my floor away originally I'd never have been able to do it. I built on my successfully completed tasks and chained them together. Of course you should still remember to rest after chaining a number of tasks together.
4. Prioritise harder tasks earlier
I get all my energy at the start of the day and feel quite tired by the end of the day. This is how most people feel due to how our circadian rhythms function. Because of this I have found it's a lot easier to get difficult tasks done in the morning.
So now instead of trying to clean my room or go to the gym at 5pm I'll do it at 9am. I'll save 5pm for my easy tasks, things like studying Korean, meditating, studying geography, and coding. Take some time to figure out which tasks you find easy and which you find hard. If you consistently find yourself unable to do a task that's a hint that it's difficult for you. Vice versa if you're consistently capable of a task it might be a sign it's an easier one for you.
5. Using an AI scheduler
I saved this one for last, not because it's ineffective, it's actually made a huge difference in my life. But it does cost money to take full advantage of this so I put it down the bottom. Still there's a lot to be said for using an AI scheduler. I hate choosing what to do and have always preferred to be told what tasks I should do each day. It also takes a huge amount of mental energy to decide what tasks I should do when each week and organise them in advance.
Enter Reclaim, the AI scheduler of my dreams (there are lots of other ones on the market too like Motion! Take a look around and see if you can find one you like but unfortunately they all seem paid). Reclaim does have a free version but for me their paid version is necessary to achieve my goals.
I set up all my tasks and habits in Reclaim, I can customise how often I want to do things, how long they should take, and what hours I have free. Then I just check my calendar each day and see what tasks I'm meant to do. If I end up taking more time than expected I just hit the 'reschedule' button on a task and it's automatically slotted in somewhere else that week. This has definitely made one of the biggest changes to my quality of life I could probably make a whole separate post about using Reclaim.
That's all the tips that have worked for me this year so far, maybe some of them might help you!
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actual-changeling · 8 months
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Muriel isn't a child, they're not stupid or immature, and they CAN take care of themselves—with that, welcome to Alex's unhinged meta corner, hinged edition.
We need to talk about Muriel, so let's dive right in.
Despite the way many people depict them, they are the exact same age as every other angel, fallen or otherwise, and treating them as lesser because their mannerisms and expressions don't match up with what you think an 'adult' should look like doesn't mean they aren't one.
Not to speak of the ableism that's inherent to that kind of thinking, and actually, you know what? Before I keep talking, I want to ask you a question.
It is very common to talk about Muriel as a 'child of divorce', being 'adopted' by Crowley, someone 'precious' that needs protecting, and a lot of titles and concepts along those lines.
The question is: If, say, Uriel were in their place—sent down to earth after not being there for more than five minutes ever—would you still call him everything you call Muriel now? Would you treat him the same way you're treating them?
Would you see him the same way, and if not, why?
The question is, if any other angel were in Muriel's position, would you also infantilize them the way you currently do with Muriel?
Feel free to actually answer that question on my post or in your own, because I am genuinely curious about the reasoning, especially behind 'no' as an answer.
Heaven completely neglected them just like they did with everyone else, they were completely alone in a big, empty white room with nothing but a glass desk and presumably a chair for six thousand years—and probably even longer than that. Having someone ask them a job-related question every couple centuries doesn't even BEGIN to scratch the surface of their social needs.
When they came down to earth, it was the equivalent of one's first day at a new job, at university, at school, anywhere you had not been before but now plan on being for a while.
You come across others that have been there for twenty years and look like omniscient gods from your point of view; they run the game while you don't even know which game you're supposed to be playing. This is one of the reasons why they read as autistic to many, including myself, because that's exactly what every social situation feels like to me. That's for another post, though.
Of course they're socially awkward and easily overwhelmed! They were dropped off in a capital city after—and let me emphasise this once more—being completely alone for millennia.
The highest of the angels ordered them to do a specific job, like, fuck, I'd be having a nervous breakdown in the lift and curl up in a corner for a few hours because that thought is terrifying. Especially because failure is not something heaven accepts. Especially because they know what happens to those who disobey or disappoint in whatever shape or form.
When we see them, it is in that exact situation—talking to their bosses that they've likely never talked to before, arriving in a new world, being around new people, in a new environment, new everything. It always reminds me of this quote from Modern Family.
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Muriel was assigned a rank and job just like everyone else, and they deserve the same respect and acknowledgement for it as the Guardian of the Eastern Gate or the Archangels themselves. Muriel is probably really fucking good at what they do, they've had millennia of practice, but we simply never see them in their everyday situations. Give them some time and support, and they'll be up to speed in no time.
They are not a child—don't treat them like one.
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weirdmorefics · 1 year
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So Very Basic- Spencer Reid X Reader
A/N- This may have just been an excuse for me to infodump about Pride and Prejudice but I swear the fic is still good! Reader is also very Autistic coded but I am Autistic so that happens a lot when I write hope you don't mind.
Pronouns- She/her
Tooth-Rooting Fluff
Word Count- 822
Summary- Spencer judging your book tastes on the jet back home.
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Spencer and I have made it a habit of sitting next to each other every flight home. We usually talk about the recent books we have finished or are currently reading. Sometimes we just sit in silence and read together. These are my favorite moments in my life I never feel calmer in the jet with Spencer by my side or across from me. This time it felt different though Spencer's eyes have not left me once I swear he hadn't flipped a page of his book.
"Hey Spence, What's your book about?" I say trying to hint at the fact that I can obviously see he has not flipped a single page.
He seemed startled by my sudden question but proceeded to tell me the entire synopsis of his book.
I slam my book shut and shout, "You have read that book already!"
He seemed perplexed by my reaction "There is no rule against rereading books I think authors would prefer you reread their works."
I groan, "There is when you spend the whole flight staring at me distracting me from my book."
Spencer flushes and I am one hundred percent sure I am right now.
"Hotch the children are fighting again!" Rossi shouts like a mother making me shake my head at him.
"Hotch Spence is poking meee," Emily teases in her best Y/N impersonation. JJ of course joins in playing the role of Spencer, "I am not Y/n." She draws out my name.
Spencer and I look as red as two tomatoes and my safe space has turned into an inescapable nightmare.
He leans in and whispers in my ear, "You know this is your fault for picking the most basic Jane Austen novel."
I gasp dramatically which of course just causes more stares from the team.
Derek sighed knowing this Y/n gasp all too well, "Pretty boy what are you doing offending Y/n? Do you want to listen to another one of her defensive rants for thirty minutes?"
"I quite enjoy them," Spencer smiles.
Rossi rolls his eyes, "You would."
I stand up, "Pride and Prejudice is beautiful from its book, it's movie, and it's BBC Special!"
JJ sighs," Here she goes."
"The drama in the book is spectacular as it delves into each sister's feelings about marriage and how at the time it was their only option. Don't even get me started on the twenty-seven with no prospects speech! Oh my goodness Darcy is the perfect match for Elizabeth with them both being so headstrong makes for the best enemies to lovers! Speaking of Darcy in the film when he does that hand-clench thing it was not even in the book! It wasn't even scripted! Which made me feel he was the perfect actor for Darcy he understood the role perfectly!" I ramble out putting my hand on my chest the rest of the team is annoyed at another one of my outbursts but Spencer is looking at me like I am the only person on the plane and I flush when I meet his eyes.
Hotch shouts at me, "L/N would you sit down we are about to go into a patch of turbulence." He of course says this too late and I embarrassingly fall on top of Spencer.
I immediately try to scramble off Spencer but he holds me there. I look away from him trying to hide my flushed face and he asks if I am alright.
"Yup, just mortified but everybody needs a good daily dose of that am I right." I smile trying to play it off but I play with my hair a common tell of mine that everyone in the BAU knows by now.
"You know I have never seen the Pride and Prejudice film," Spencer says slyly.
My eyes light up "You must see it! It's on Netflix I have seen it over a hundred times! I can probably quote all the words by now."
"I actually don't have Netflix I don't really watch television," He rubs the back of his neck.
"That's fine I could totally bring my laptop to you to watch it! Or we could watch it at my apartment!" I ramble out coming off more excited than I meant to.
"That sounds great," Spencer smiles, "Do you really know all the words you could recite some now?" He teases.
I turn the deepest red I think I have ever been in my life and of course, Derek has to jump in.
"Oh pretty boy has moves," he whistles.
Spence rolls his eyes "Shut up Morgan."
"Could we all shut up? Some of us like to rest so we can actually focus on work when we get back." Hotch says in his typical annoyed-with-us voice.
"I guess reciting Pride and Prejudice to you will have to wait," I whisper into Spencer's ear it was finally my time to make him blush.
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signanothername · 20 days
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Hiiii! First, I just want to say I love your art so much, honestly, it's the best fanart of these characters I've seen!
But I have a question, because I was just looking at your art of Nightmare and Killer. And whenever you draw them together, they’re often really touchy with each other??.
I’m not sure how to phrase it right, but for example, Nightmare seems to touch Killer’s face a lot or wrap a tentacle around him. And Killer also sometimes just holds him or in that one piece of art, rests his head on Nightmare’s head. It just shocked me a little because I would think Nightmare doesn't like people touching him or vice versa.
Am I overthinking this or something? But yeah love you art bye!!
Hello!! Awww thank you smmm!!! <333333
And I’m glad you noticed >:))))
Cause you’re absolutely right, I draw them super touchy with each other
And I do that for different reasons depending on each of the two of them
Killer (especially in stage 2) tends to be a bit touchy and has zero regard for personal space, and that’s cause Stage 2 is usually completely disassociated from the world around him and from his own body, and with his inability to feel emotions there’s nothing to truly ground him and tell him that what’s happening around him is actually happening
So how does Killer deal with his inability to tell what’s real and happening in the present and what’s not? By either pain, or touching anything/anyone, he would touch whoever’s in his vicinity, regardless of who they are
Nightmare is literally his boss and master? Fuck it he needs to tell whether Nightmare’s really there or not, feeling Nightmare’s negative aura isn’t enough
That of course doesn’t mean Killer doesn’t have his own boundaries with touch, it differs from stage to stage, but regardless of which stage he’s in, and despite stage 2’s tendency to touch people, he still keeps his hands to himself most of the time actually
Nightmare on the other hand, is definitely the type of person who doesn’t want to be touched, in fact I mentioned before that Nightmare is autistic af and has an aversion to touch if he isn’t the one to initiate it, it makes his nonexistent skin crawl when he’s touched without permission, he’s fine with touching people if he was the one to do it, but if it’s vise versa and someone else touches him he’d probably be resisting the urge to kill them (he can be semi-fine if he knows it’s coming)
But the thing is with Nightmare is that he’s masking his autism like crazy, so whenever he’s touched by anyone he pretends it doesn’t bother him, there are times in which he tells whoever’s touching him to back off, but only if it reaches extremely uncomfortable levels for him, otherwise he’d just keep it to himself
The only one who Nightmare is ok with their touch most of the time, but he still prefers to at the very least know it’s coming is Dream
So whenever you see Killer touching Nightmare first, believe me when i say Nightmare is resisting the urge to kill him vhhchchvvh
But the thing is, Nightmare is definitely super touchy with Killer, as in, Nightmare initiates the touch most the time actually, why? Cause Nightmare’s a bitch and he uses touch as some sort of fucked up form of control cause he’s a possessive freak
You’d see him holding Killer’s face, having a tentacle around him, etc, as some sort of fucked up message not only to the people around him, but to Killer himself that he’s his little toy, his little perfect killing machine
Nightmare can be a bit dehumanizing towards Killer at times, not thinking of him as a person but rather a machine that’s supposed to do its job whenever he wanted, and he uses touch to condition Killer and sometimes even as a “reminder” of who’s in control in their fucked up relationship
Basically ignoring any boundaries Killer has and invading his space like Killer does, but instead of doing so out of necessity, he does it to send a very direct message that he can do whatever he wishes any time he pleases and Killer wouldn’t be able to stop it
That of course doesn’t mean he only does this fucked up shit with Killer, he also does it with Horror and Murder, just not to the same extent he does with Killer cause they aren’t as “interesting” to him as Killer is, Killer was always his favorite killing machine after all
(You have zero idea how thankful Horror and Murder are for not being as “interesting” chcchchhc)
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autistichalsin · 8 months
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I know a lot of people find it boring how much Halsin talks about nature, and I do get it- it is repetitive. However, I also find that if you break some of his statements down into what he's implying, you end up with something a lot more interesting. (ESPECIALLY because a lot of these support the "Halsin is autistic" interpretation.)
Take, for example, Halsin talking about his place in the world, specifically relating to relationships:
Halsin: I still have hot blood in my veins. Nature gifted us our desires, and the means to act on them. But we muddied its beautiful simplicity with rules, social strictures... clothes. So, I am not bound to nature. I am unbound in nature.
Halsin: Relationship? Such terms belong to civilisation - a little unfamiliar to my lips. You know what we share is more fluid, more founded in the principles of nature.
Implications: Halsin finds society too complicated. He enjoys nature because its rules are simpler and more sensical; rather than social rules and structures that are beyond him (especially when you take into account the autistic Halsin interpretation), he feels comforted by nature, which is complex in a way that he understands.
There's also Halsin's friendship with Thaniel.
Halsin: I had a friend when I was young, long ago. He played with me in the forests where I grew up... but eventually, I realised no one else had heard of him. It was Thaniel, of course. Nature was my very first friend. I get older, but he hasn't changed a day. I knew then that I had to be more than a companion to him. I had to be a protector.
Implications: Nature, by being Halsin's first friend, has always been what Halsin is comforted by. It has been a steady and comforting presence for him, something he can rely in, in contrast to other people who are unpredictable. Nature is consistent and comforting for him.
Halsin, infamously, is not happy in the city of Baldur's Gate.
Halsin: Too much noise, too many lanterns kept burning... nature's rhythm is ignored here.
Implications: Halsin is overstimulated easily by excessive noise and other sensory inputs. Nature provides him somewhere quiet.
Halsin: I wish... I wish there was a better way. I wish everyone could see the sun, have a full belly, and know nature as a friend. There is a balance that is yet to be found.
Implications: Again, Halsin sees nature- not just Thaniel, but all of nature- as a friend. A source of comfort and companionship.
Halsin: I think on [politics and high art] also. But nothing matches the splendour of an ancient tree.
Implications: Halsin loves the beauty of the natural world as much as anything else. Rather than art or music (which he can appreciate), what he prefers is something that grew rather than being made.
Halsin: I am... less anxious to find myself in a city. So removed from nature's power - I do not know how I will fare.
Implications: Not only does Halsin prefer not to be in the city, but he is actually, to some extent, frightened of it (likely due to how overstimulating it is for him), in contrast with his feeling of being right at home in nature.
There's other things to note as well. If a Dark Urge player embraces Bhaal and then tells Halsin to bow, Halsin has this to say:
Halsin: Nature bows to none. It will fight on and survive, no matter what madness your god has inspired you to undertake.
Implications: Halsin views nature as strength, and admires that very much. He draws a lot of his tougher qualities from this aspect of the natural world.
Or a line where Wyll gently points out that he talks about nature a lot:
Halsin: When you care about something deeply enough, it consumes every thought and word.
Implications: Halsin isn't thinking of little else besides nature because he's "boring"; it's because it's important to him. (A special interest, one might say.) And when something is deeply important to a person, they think of everything else in relation to that thing; think of a sports fan who constantly uses sports metaphors to understand the world around them.
There's another party banter with Wyll that is telling when combined with what he has to say about the city, too.
Halsin: It is most unfair to pour such scorn on rats - they have their place in nature, same as you or I. 
Halsin: I thought cities were supposed to welcome folk of all walks of life. Clearly I was mistaken.
Implications: Halsin feels everyone has a place in the natural world, yet that the city shuns those it deems different. As someone who has struggled greatly with fitting in/finding a place he "belongs", Halsin feels more sympathetic to nature, where all living things belong, than anywhere else.
I think that when you break up Halsin's love of nature into all the little things it implies, it paints a much more interesting picture of him, personally. It also supports the "Halsin is autistic" interpretation, which makes him even MORE interesting.
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ingravinoveritas · 6 months
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youtube
So, some folks have probably seen by now that the trailer for Michael's appearance on The Assembly this Friday has dropped, and the first question shown is, "How does it feel to be dating with someone who's only 5 years older than your daughter?"
Already, I am seeing people clutching their pearls in response to this, particularly on Twitter. Saying that it's an inappropriate question, that this person has an opportunity to ask Michael anything and chooses this, that he looks so uncomfortable, and so on. One piece of context that seems to be missing is that (to my knowledge), none of the interviewers are fans of Michael's. They were given the opportunity to do research prior to the interview and developed their questions based on that, but none (again, AFAIK) are coming from the vantage of being a fan. So immediately, that gives a different sense of where the interviewers are coming from and how this shapes and informs the interview itself.
What also came to mind is that if Michael is uncomfortable, it's worth thinking about why that might be. It seems like a lot of fans have created this perfect portrait of Michael and Anna's relationship in their minds, so if we are to follow the logic of that--if his and AL's relationship is as sunshine and roses as many people believe it to be--then Michael might be surprised by the question, but probably wouldn't be uncomfortable. Yet in the trailer, we can see the change in his body language and the way he tenses up immediately after the question is asked. Because for as talented an actor as he is, Michael absolutely cannot seem to hide his true feelings as himself.
I also definitely think that whatever answer he gives to that question will be a PR answer. Which is not to suggest that Michael will be dishonest, but rather that he will be polite, but likely without saying what he really feels about their relationship. Again, do I think he owes anyone his full, unvarnished emotions? No, of course not. But Michael is a fully grown adult man who is more than aware of the consequences of his actions, and he does not need to be "protected" or shielded from such questions. So if fans are uncomfortable with Michael's discomfort in talking about a relationship he's been in for the last five years, it might be a good idea to think about why that is.
The other thing I wanted to mention is that the editing of the trailer is already confirming some of my previously-held fears where the autistic/neurodivergent interviewers are portrayed as rude/weird, and Michael is "so brave" for taking on the "challenge" of being interviewed by "those people." It's somehow a combination of objectifying and dehumanizing, putting us (I include myself, as an autistic person) in the category of "other" for actually saying out loud what other people are only thinking. This both entirely disregards the producers/editors tacit encouragement as part of the format of this, and Michael being willing to answer, and demonizes/places the blame on the ND interviewers instead.
That is my take on the trailer, at any rate. I still intend to watch the full show once it's released, and am hopeful that the joyful atmosphere found in other parts of the trailer will prevail throughout the show. Happy as always to hear from my followers with your thoughts, so feel free to chime in...
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canmom · 6 months
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watched a 30 minute video about hajime isayama and his development as a mangaka and a person. it talked a great deal about his self esteem and inferiority complex and anxiety, which i agree are all relevant to his work, knowing it's a lonely (maybe autistic? he kinda has the vibe) guy in his 20s trying to navigate a first serialisation explains a lot. but not a single word about his political ideology, and like. surely someone has asked him about it? at some point?
there was a period he was getting death threats from Korean readers after it came out that a positively portrayed AoT character was modeled after a certain Japanese general who participated in the occupation, it's not like it's a niche subject. and more generally there are points where AoT comes across almost as a roman à clef for the Japanese far right, the Marley arc onwards throws out all this Holocaust imagery, it's a story full of military coups and people getting radicalised into paramilitaries and geopolitical tensions and genocides and the bloody legacy of nation building, generally handled with about the subtlety of a train. he definitely was a nationalist at one point, and the general consensus on this website tends to be it's simply youjo senki levels of fash. I still feel like the situation is more complicated (at least there is a lot that would undercut a straightforward fascist reading), but I kinda want to hear what Isayama would say about it.
not that he entirely seems to have the strongest ability to discuss the themes of his work in explicit terms. like not even in a 'the work should speak for itself' sort of way, which i would respect - he seems to talk a lot about his hesitance over what readers would accept, his worries he didn't stick the landing, his difficulties connecting with his main character, how the anime adaptation affected his writing. he's happy to talk about a lot of things! and i don't mean some interviewer should corner him like 'so man, are you an actual fascist or what, the people are dying to know' - more I just kinda want to know what the hell he was going for with all this. whether he feels his worldview changed over the course of the story. if what I think I am picking up is what he thought he was putting down. because i can speculate and all, but... whereas with someone like Hayao Miyazaki, or Yoko Taro, they've talked quite a bit about their respective ideological development and how it's reflected in their stories, with Isayama there's just nothing I've been able to find...
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