#like yeah yeah grief is my emotion and everything I write revolves around it in some way

[robotsprinkles]

So on the one hand,

I don't like drawing attention to myself/being the centre of attention

I don't like conflict or arguing with people unless it's over issues of morality or I have some sort of deep personal/emotional investment in the topic/situation

I generally assume that I'm wrong and the person I disagree with knows more than me and is right, because I'm, uh. stupid

on the other hand, it's been one week and I'm already trying to decide whether I'm going to just ignore everything my tutor/lecturer says or if I'm going to try to debate him on the nature and definition of protagony next tutorial because the way he's teaching/defining/explaining storytelling and writing concepts vexes and confounds me

like. he's defining "protagonist" not as "the character a story focuses on/revolves around" or "the character whose actions and decisions drive the story/plot" or "character whose struggles and trials and journey is the focus of the story" or even the reductive and conflationary "protagonist is hero"

but as "character who undergoes significant change by the story's end"

which like. yeah, okay, you can argue that for a protagonist to be good they must undergo some change or development over the course of the story, but like. I don't think I've ever before heard anyone try to claim that protagony is inextricable from change to the point of saying if a character doesn't undergo some form of significant change or growth or development then they aren't the protagonist

To be honest, I don't particularly care to go into the whole "iconic protagonist vs static protagonist vs dynamic protagonist" debate here (taste is subjective yada yada yada and I'm lazy and unqualified for that discussion)

but. Y'know. the fact that there's an established categorisation of dynamic vs static protagonists kind of disproves his thing about characters definitionally needing to undergo some sort of revelatory or epiphanic or substantial or monumental change in order to be a protagonist

also just. the fact that he asked us "what is the movie 'Up' about?"

and then when people responded with various versions of "it's about grief/loss/learning to move on/etc etc" (responding to the question as if he were asking what the themes and messages were)

he said: "no, it's about carl"

and just.

No, that's who the movie is about, not what. If someone asked "What is A New Hope about?" no one with any sense would answer "Luke Skywalker"

(I mean in his defense I guess he did also say Up is about a house that flies because balloons or something or other (paraphrasing) so like. eeeeehhhhh...)

also. like. Yeah okay I get we're in uni and that the courses and units are all taught with the assumption that we're intending on doing this stuff professionally as a career

and I also get that being able to summarise and condense and be efficient and concise with our words is an important skill as writers

And I'm fully aware that book summaries and blurbs are like. a thing that professional authors have to do and be good at for publishing

I get all that.

but god. Using the example of pitching concepts to executives in hollywood in under three minutes, with an anecdotal story about some writer or director who went up to a hollywood exec at a party or something and was like "I can sell you this movie in under ten words: Schwarzenegger. DeVito. Twins" and that apparently being a "good pitch" (I might be getting the setup a bit wrong but the pitch itself was apparently exactly that)

I just. like maybe this is just because I don't really care, personally, to be making art-solely-and-purely-as-product instead of making art for art's sake, but the idea of a "good pitch" being mutually exclusive from even touching on themes and messages and actual exploration or explanation of setting and world and character and instead being the most vapid, shallow, surface-level, "it's a movie called up because a man ties a bunch of balloons to his house and makes if fly" type garbage doesn't exactly ignite any spark of any kind in me

.

admittedly, it's possible he was being hyperbolic when he said that pitches need to be as minimalistic and stripped-back of any detail specific to the story itself (character names, setting details, themes, etc),

But he did still straight-up say that protagony is specifically defined by experiencing and undergoing a significant character change which. yeah. I've absolutely no idea why he's defining protagony the one way I've never seen anyone do. (again I know it's a common opinion that protagonists who don't change or develop in some way are bad protagonists, but again. that applies to basically all significant characters, and also the fact that you can criticise a protagonist for not changing in any way throughout a story means that a protagonist doesn't have to change in order to be (recognisable as) a protagonist)

also the way he explained and broke down the fundamental pieces of The Lord of the Rings struck me as incredibly reductive and shallow and so on, but as someone who's not yet read lotr or the hobbit or the silmarillion (because I don't want to unconsciously end up doing what all the lazy fantasy writers do and just write a worse and shallow tolkien knockoff) I'm not comfortable commenting on that

[army-of-mai-lovers]

in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough. 

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.” 

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!” 

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role. 

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all. 

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.” 

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.” 

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka  repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--   

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~” 

y’all WHAT. 

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back. 

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai. 

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too. 

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!” 

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse. 

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.) 

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal  adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out. 

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)  

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”  

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show. 

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.” 

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring. 

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what? 

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her. 

Conclusion    

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked. 

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here. 

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice. 

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us. 

[reiedits1]

The Last Of Us Part II

I played and finished The Last Of Us Part II last week and it has been on my mind ever since. I obviously understand that a lot of people have problems with this game, and that’s okay. I’m not here to change anyone’s views on the game or anything, I just want to kind of write down my opinions and takeaways as, again, it’s been on my mind since finishing it lol. Nobody may see this and this will mean nothing, that’s fine. 

Anyway, this post will contain SPOILERS

My Overall Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure how to structure this so I guess I’ll just start with a broad statement lol; I loved The Last Of Us Part II. In my opinion, it’s a beautiful and well-crafted story about loss, grief and consequences, with how each of these things affect different people. 

Discussion 

From what I’ve seen, I see a lot of people hating on this game for its handling of Joel and the decision to have the player play as Joel’s murderer, Abby. I’ve also seen a lot of people say that the message is as simple and plain as “viOleNcE iS bAd”, but I personally think it’s so much more than that.

The Last Of Us Part II doesn’t just tell you that violence is bad, but it shows you the ramifications of it by dealing with the emotional toll as well as the consequences on not just the main person involved, but their loved ones too.

As we all know, at the start of the game, Joel is brutally killed by Abby and we go with Ellie on a mission to avenge him by killing everybody involved. We see it all from Ellie’s point of view, hardheartedly seeing Abby as the villain as she just killed the character that we know and love as we have an emotional connection to him after the first game. His death is supposed to make you feel angered. It’s not like you’re supposed to be joyed by it. His death scene left me feeling empty and sick, wanting revenge alongside Ellie. 

However, as the game goes on, we start to see the story from Abby’s point of view. We learn that the doctor that you, the player, had to murder at the end of The Last of Us is actually the father of Abby. This is brilliant. Now we see one of the main themes of the story, consequences, and I was immediately on board. Joel is not a good person, at all. He murdered hundreds of Fireflies and took away the possible cure for humanity for his own personal reasons. This is incredibly selfish, even going to the lengths of lying to Ellie about the events as he knows that it isn’t what she would want. Technically, Joel is the villain.

Joel had been through so much, so you may think it’s justified. But the point is, Joel isn’t the only person in the world of The Last of Us. Everybody he murders aren’t just mindless NPCs, they are people. People with their own problems who have gone through their own share of pain and loss, people with their own loved ones. Such as the doctor, who had Abby, whom he loved very much and Abby the same. So, understandably, she would feel incredibly angry and feel the need for revenge, just the same as Ellie and the player after Joel’s death.

There is now a cycle of revenge. Ellie goes on to kill Abby’s friends, and so Abby tries to kill Ellie and her friends. It’s not until Lev talks Abby out of it that the cycle seems to have been “broken”. Abby and Lev put it behind them, however, Ellie cannot and nor can Tommy, which means that the cycle is not broken. Ellie continues her hunt for revenge, thinking it’s still what she needs. Just as she’s about to murder Abby, she sees it’s completely useless.

Here I’m going to talk about another core theme of the story: loss. As Ellie is about to kill Abby, she realises that Joel is gone. Completely gone, and killing Abby is not going to change that. She now has Lev, and if Ellie was to kill Abby, Lev would only lose Abby, leaving him in the same situation Ellie was in at the start of the game, which in turn means Ellie is becoming what she set out to kill. It’s no use. Revenge only causes more pain and loss. This cycle is so vicious and nobody wins, and Abby realised this once she found Lev, and found that revenge is a futile thing that does not achieve anything, especially not bringing back her dead friends. She managed to break the cycle herself, and in turn, she found a life worth living, a live with Lev. However, Ellie could not manage this, choosing to still seek revenge.

Because of this, she faces the consequences. She loses all of her loved ones. She loses Dina, she loses Jesse and she loses her baby son, JJ. Tommy is the same too. Tommy couldn’t break the cycle, and he loses his wife, Maria. And guess what, Joel is still gone. All of that loss, yet Joel is still dead. It’s all been for nothing. Ellie is now completely alone, which is what she said she was scared of in the first game, all because of revenge. The way forward is not anger, rage or revenge, but acceptance and love. That’s my takeaway.

You may think this treatment of Joel and Ellie is “disrespectful”, but I disagree. In the first game, you do a lot of bad things as these characters. Yeah, you go through a lot of pain, but so has everybody else, yet they still face the unfavorable consequences. It only makes sense that Joel and Ellie would too. In my opinion, this only helps to build the world of The Last of Us and show that just because Joel and Ellie are the main characters, they aren’t invincible, and the world doesn’t revolve around them. They just happen to be two people who live in the world amongst so many others, which for me, makes it so much more realistic. This is emphasised in the incredible detail in the gameplay of each enemy having names, with other enemies interacting with eachother as you stalk them. It makes them feel so much more real and only increased my enjoyability.

From a story like this, which is so dark and gritty, I don’t expect a happy ending. You’re not supposed to like Ellie by the end of this story, as she serves as the example of why the cycle of revenge is horrible. You’re not supposed to feel satisfied by it, you’re supposed to feel empty, hurt and sad. That is literally the point. 

You have to realise that The Last Of Us is a piece of artistic storytelling told and made by artists. It would have been so easy for Neil Druckmann to write a boring and two-dimensional story to appease players and make bank. But he didn’t. He chose to craft an intricate, heavy and creative direction for his material, and I hugely respect that. At the end of the day, he doesn’t owe you anything. This is his story, and these are his characters, he can do what he wants with them. If you don’t like his creative vision, then great! You don’t have to. If you don’t like something, just don’t play/watch/read it. If you loved the first game but hated the second, then just pretend it doesn’t exist and come up with your own fanfiction for these characters, it probably wouldn’t have been as good as this.

A lot of people blame “bad writing” when they don’t like something. There’s a difference between feeling bad about something than it being bad writing, you know. Just because it wasn’t what you wanted, doesn’t mean the writing is bad. By you feeling angry about Joel dying, Neil Druckmann’s writing has accomplished its objective. And I’m not trying to say that everybody who doesn’t like this game didn’t like it because their fanfiction didn’t come true. You cannot like this game solely because you don’t like the direction it took, and that’s fine. Because again, this story is a piece of artistic storytelling, and art is subjective.

This entire post is just my opinion. I personally loved this story and these characters, and it was exactly what I wanted to get out of this game. Everything about the game I just adored. I loved the plot, the writing, the characters, the gameplay, the music, the visuals, the performances - everything. And if you didn’t, then great. That’s your opinion. It just hurts me to see so many people dismissing the incredible things achieved in this game solely because of one plot point. I don’t know. As I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion or anything, I just thought I’d share mine.

I only scratched the surface of my thoughts and opinions on this game. I could talk about it for hours, which only goes to show the extent of its achievements and how incredible it really is. I doubt anybody is reading this and that’s fine, apologies if none of what I said made any sense at all lol, I’m awful at articulating my opinions aha.   

[vivifrage]

Fic Authors Self Rec

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Tagged by @shadowtriad! I cannot do five fics of the same fandom but I hope y'all have fun with the ones I got. This goes approximately in order of how much I recommend them.

In General

Do you like angst or hurt/comfort? Do you want to sit there and rotate your blorbo in your mind with me? Is there a chance you have a niche blorbo?

I'd say my typical fic is drama shot through with an edge of humor, or vice versa - after all, real life has ups and downs everywhere, big and small. I love writing about family relationships, grief, and banter and tomfoolery. I also have a major soft spot for cuddles and small cute things so I squeeze them in whenever I get a chance.

Our Family, An Ascension (Destiny, 175k and counting, incomplete)

The current longfic, continuing the trend of each longfic going over the past one's word count.

Eido, daughter of Misraaks, is used to doing things on her own. Growing up with a single father doing everything he could just to put food on the table, you learn that kind of thing. Misraaks, in turn, loves his daughter more than anything, and while he's endlessly busy as the Kell of the House of Light, he's there for her as much as he can be.

When unrest during the Endless Night reaches a breaking point and Eido dies, everything shatters. House Light fears they will never reconcile with Humanity. Misraaks finds himself lost facing a future without the only family he has.

Just as he starts putting the pieces together, a lone Eliksni and her bonded Ghost wander into the City. She becomes the first recorded non-Human Guardian, torn in all directions at once. Her people, whom she knows nearly nothing of, welcome her back as Eido the Scribe, the Daughter, the Apprentice, the Friend, the Savior. The Vanguard, who understand her in ways no other Eliksni could, encourage her to cut ties and free herself from expectations she doesn't know how to navigate, to become her own person.

What's a dead girl supposed to do?

Broken Open Revealing Hollowness and Vibrance (Hollow Knight, 155k, complete)

Apparently managed to get to second most kudos in the Hollow Knight tag while I wasn't watching! So uh, there's a solid chance that people have read this. Ah well. I still like it.

After the Infection is destroyed, Hornet's dead kingdom lurches back to life. She must tend to her ailing sibling, rally the people into a new form of government, one less dependent on the gods, and come to terms with her life.

Over and over, she finds places where the Little Ghost made their mark. Over and over, she finds one more thing she must grapple with. Those who are lost and those who are found, friends new and old, even the trouble of beginning bug puberty again after an untold amount of time in stasis.

The only way they will pull through this is together, and together they will make each other stronger.

Elegies, Memories, Things That Never Were (Hollow Knight, chapter length varies, each chapter is complete)

A ficlet collection, not a single fic, but if you want something to read without biting off an entire novel, this one's for you. Snippets of various scenarios I think up starring many different characters. Heed the author's notes!

My Whumptober 2021 Tag (Various, all complete)

Do you like suffering? (With some comfort still but hey the title's the title.) If you're reading my stuff... yeah probably a little bit. These feature short ficlets revolving around the prompt and some of my favorite things - physical and certain kinds of emotional pain. This one features stuff that usually doesn't see the public eye, such as one of my original settings (not a fanfic, but hey. It's the one with the Diver), and some "you need to be multiple headcanons deep for this" setting things. Including both of my headcanons for Eido's bio-parents getting a couple ficlets. Absolutely watch the warnings.

We Are Tenno (Warframe, 51k, complete)

An oldie now, but in my heart, still a goodie. A change in pace from my usual narration - this one's an epistolary story, told via entries in Mag's journal. Oh, and also a setting where warframes are sentient separate from their Operator, though regular, Prime, and Umbral warframes handle that bond and Void energy in general differently.

Probably the goofiest of my stuff, and definitely the goofiest of the longfics. While it has more serious moments the same way the others have silly ones, it's hard to escape shenanigans when you're a bunch of terrifyingly tough biomechanical war machines in a symbiotic relationship with a magical teenager. Especially when you add in personalities like Frost Prime, bullheaded dumbass extraordinaire, and Limbo, local math nerd with chaos for a middle name. Even Stalker himself can't avoid getting caught in it.

Let's do five writers for five fics! @ruthlesslistener, @publiccmenace, @actingwithportals, @banyanas, and @dedicatedfollower467, if y'all wanna rec your fics, go ham!

[sineala]

A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort

I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.

Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!

[djmarinizelablog]

hi! read your last ask and you said that you took up creative writing classes so you might have a wider knowledge about this but i was wondering when u mentioned different writing styles (like minimalistic, hightened imagery, linear vilennete and all of that) could you maybe explain the difference and what they really mean and maybe examples in our own levihan nation and writers? this might be asking for too much but i was pretty lost and i'd like to know more about all that. however you are def free to ignore this too!

Did you just ask me to write a comprehensive poetics essay, Anon? (I love writing about writing lmao)

Super long post ahead, and I’ll be citing certain fanfics that I’ve read so far and those that I think somehow exemplifies all the different writing styles I mentioned in the previous post. 

First off, the ones I listed beforehand (minimalistic prose, heightened imagery, poetic language, linear narrative, non-linear vignettes) aren’t the only types of writing styles. There are more if you consider the variations of tone (humor/comedy, sentimental, macabre, noir etc), narration/perspective (first person, second person, third person omniscient/limited), and language (dialogue-heavy or action/scene-driven). And the nice thing is that you can actually use of one or two of them in your work---or all of them, if you’re feeling bold. 

As Hange always loves to do: “Let’s experiment!”

--------

I’ll start with minimalistic prose. It is what it is: short, clear, and concise. Think less is more. You have an economy with words where you disregard most adverbs and focus more on the context to make way for meaning, thus allowing the readers to create their own interpretations of your writing. I think the method here is to write your intended draft first, and then cut the unnecessary words to flesh out the scene even more.

Notice how @stereobone wrote this paragraph of Black Dog (an Eruri fic):

Isabel's voice wakes him, brother, brother, has him sitting upright in bed and grabbing for the knife under his mattress. He braces himself for the attack before he realizes there isn't one. There is nothing in the darkness but him and his heavy, panicked breathing. Levi's heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of his chest. He drops the knife on the mattress and shuts his eyes and tries not to think about Farlan's bloody resigned face before he was eaten. He tries not to think about how he left them. How it's his fault.

It’s very simplistic in language; the paragraph lets you focus on Levi’s innermost thoughts while he deals with an external action (ie, having nightmares). The author hasn’t unraveled the rest of the plot yet, but you already know where the tension is coming from.

Next is heightened imagery. If you’re familiar with the different figures of speech (metaphor, simile, personification, hyperbole, etc), then this is where they all come into play. I think the challenge here is being able to balance it well with the text itself and make sure that the imagery actually clarifies the context of the paragraph instead of convoluting the intended meaning. 

Here’s an excerpt from A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me:

Hanji watched Levi, standing there, head bent and bloodied handkerchief pressed against his arm, and was reminded, irrationally, of a night years ago. When her parents had taken her to the circus. [. . . .] Holding her parent’s hands, she’d gaped, head craned back as she watched the spectacle, a cacophonous mixture of sound and color. At the center of it all, she’d spied a boy. Among the twisting colors and tricks, he alone, was still. [. . . .] The boy was high above, balancing on a platform atop a long pole. In front of him, stretched an audaciously thin rope. Below, no net waited to catch him.

[. . . .]

When Levi looked up, his expression was set - like the boy before the tightrope. And she knew, with sinking certainty, he was going to take the step. Into thin air.

Gray eyes met her gaze and held it.

“Yeah. I’ll go.”

At the door, Kenny smiled.

See how the powerful imagery of the boy on the tightrope was able to fuel the tension in that moment among Levi, Hange, and Kenny? 

I think poetic language is akin to heightened imagery, except that the former is more focused on the actual language. It’s very lyrical, wherein you can actually hear the lulling song of the sentences in a rhythm. One of my favorite works that does this is Deep sea baby by @smallblip. Here she makes use of various setting and scenery to create this entire atmosphere of Levi and Hange’s relationship:

Hanji knows whatever life they've led, this is her favourite.

The one in which her and Levi see the sea for the first time together.

The one in which she’s the Commander, and him, her Captain. And between them, a river of words left unsaid threatening to break the banks.

One day they must cross the ocean, but today they visit the shores again, without the kids this time. And Levi learns why when he watches her peel at her clothes. Her harness comes off first, then her blouse, then everything else, like a little dance for an audience of one. Levi tries not to stare, but he’s already seen her by candlelight in the dead of the night. And yet she never fails to take his breath away.

She makes her way to where the white foams dredge the past up the shores of the present.

"Come on Levi! The water is warm!" she says, and he hears it like a call to come home- where the heavens collide with the sea.

He takes off his clothes and folds them in a neat pile beside Hanji's mess. He swims out to join her.

It’s hauntingly poetic, the way the author is able to connect the metaphor in “a river of words” to the actual body of water right in front of Levi and Hange. Good poetic language is able to tighten up the texts together while keeping the sentence structure flowing with apt figures of speech.

When it comes to narratives, it only comes down to linear or non-linear. See how @lostcauses-noregrets does her opening statement in Trains (also an Eruri fic):

Levi hates trains. To be fair, Levi hates all forms of public transport, but he reserves a particular loathing for trains. They’re dirty, noisy, smelly and worse, filled with people. People who, heaven forbid, might attempt to speak to Levi, engage him in conversation. Levi’s worst nightmare is being stuck on a train with some friendly fuck who wants to pass the time making small talk. Admittedly it’s not a problem he has to deal with too often, his general fuck off demeanour deters all but the most aggressively friendly and hopelessly inebriated. But that doesn’t stop Levi from hating trains.

It’s a short fic and it’s very dependent on the linearity of events happening. But with that banger of a first sentence, the beginning already gives you enough of an idea of Levi’s pet peeve in the story, which in this case, is trains.

Here’s another hot and steamy fic called keep him waiting by keobuns that shows a linear narrative: 

He’s sitting with them in the back of the lab, nursing a cup of tea — it’s still pretty full, and even cold now, for he was far too distracted listening to Hanji talk to properly drink — when he sees it. Hanji’s too preoccupied with overexplaining the same Titan experiment they’ve gone over a hundred times to notice his stare. They just continue on and on and on, gesturing with their hands, pointing with their fingers, flexing their wrists…

Ah. Levi has to bring his teacup to his lips to hide the way his lips tremble. Hanji has incredibly nice hands.

The entire story just revolves around Levi simping for Hange’s hands and how it all goes down from there. But you as a reader are kept wanting more with every paragraph and every sentence that the author constructs (and trust me, it’s not just the sexual tension between Levi and Hange that keeps us going).

Now, as much as I love the straightforwardness of linear prose, non-linear writing brings a different round of ideas onto the table. It can create recollections from flashbacks, heighten the perspective or interior turmoil of a character due to trauma or grief, or even just re-invent what-if scenes that the characters have imagined themselves. 

Gnossiene by @thatalmondgirl​ is one of my all-time favorite Rivetra fics. In this excerpt, you will see how she switches between the past and the present, and how it affects Petra’s POV as a conflicted character:

Contrary to popular belief (fuck Auruo) Petra actually didn’t cry easily.

Alright, she could admit that at some times, she was...emotional. It was far from a weakness, but even she could admit that they sometimes got in the way and walled off all rational thought. Anger, frustration, sadness, hell, even happiness. The only one she could easily compartmentalise away was fear, which probably stemmed from her military career. Even so. It was never easy to separate all the others from her actions, think from a clean slate like the Commander could do, like the captain. [. . . ] Petra groaned, splayed out across her bed. She drew her arm across her eyes, willing the tears to go away. She’d already blown through her tissue box.

“Petra, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Mama sat on the end of her bed, with Petra on the floor between her legs. Even though Petra argued firmly that she was old enough to brush her own hair, Mama had insisted. Unfortunately, Petra wasn’t old enough - and probably never would be - to disagree with her mother.

“I know, Mama.” Petra grumbled.

“I don’t think you do. Else you wouldn’t be crying, would you?”

[. . . .]

“But a man shouldn’t complete you when you complete yourself. Maybe he’s an extension to your house. So you’ll be sad if the extension is compromised or burns down. But you still have the main house. And if it’s strong, the main house can still be standing even after the worst storm.”

Aside from Mama’s crazy metaphors that sometimes didn’t make sense, her message hit home. Even if it hit home years later.

See how it switched in between the before and after? 

An off-shoot of non-linear writing are vignettes (a layering of scenes separated by section breaks) wherein this writing style allows writers to curate scenes in terms of fragments, creating some kind of mosaic for the readers once they finally see the big picture. Nakimochiku’s I’m leaving, are you coming with me? stacks up scenes of interactions between Levi and Hange, enough to depict the kind of relationship that they have as young lovers in a school setting. You can string these fragments together, rearrange them in a different order, but in the end, you will still get the author's clear goal of highlighting how Levi and Hange’s relationship develops over time.

Those are the styles that I mentioned in my previous posts, but as I’ve told you, there’s more to writing than those, so I’ll give a short run-through of other methods in writing. 

Whether it’s dialogue-heavy works such as from my window to yours, or action-driven scenes like Carnivores (a Levi x Reader fic by CaptainDegenerate) that propel the story forward, we as readers should be able to follow through the actual storyline that the authors intend to take us. 

A third-person limited (we listen to Hange’s thoughts in Clockwork by @tundrainafrica) vis-à-vis an all-knowing/omniscient narration (the moon is dark by @sayonarasanity alternates the perspective of Levi and Hange) should be able to make us understand why the author chose this particular kind of point-of-view in order to tell the story. 

And lastly, having a solid and consistent tone throughout the work (the macabre of Even Humanity’s Strongest could make mistakes by Rimeko versus the sweet sentimentality of Flowers for You by @fanmoose12) should be able to set the atmosphere that the authors want us to imbibe as we read through their works. 

So there’s your crash course on writing and reading. Enjoy? :) 

[bts-ficrecs]

hey!! can you recommend a few series (any member)? thank you very much!

“a few” hAHAHAHA you’re really funny.

Bro, why’d u have you make ur request sooo broad 😂 i tried to reign in the crazy and failed. I decided I’m going to give you a list of series that are sitting impatiently on my to read list! Making this list makes me want to devour them all right now lol.

Feel free to go through my archive to find series that I have read, cause there are plenty of those too :”) So without further ado…

Note: please be aware several of the ongoing series are either on hiatus or discontinued or just haven’t been updated in 17392 years lol. I know some people can’t deal with that so do make sure to check if the writers are still active and/or when the last update was! And don’t pressure the writers about updates kthxbai ❤

 

ONGOING

Aristocrat by @itskimtaehyung

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 3/4

Summary: In which Namjoon pays you for your *ahem* services.

A Valediction: Forbidden Mourning by @therealredraven

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 4/? (discontinued)

Summary: Love comes in many shapes, but does not always have a prosperous fate. However, whereas parents might have found it, all the children can do is live in kalopsia. Forbidden yet denying the mourning of the path chosen for them by Fate.

Blood Princess by @mintchockookie

Genre: angst

Parts: 9/?

Summary: Choi Y/N is one of the most dangerous and feared members of Papa Choi gang. But she doesn’t want to be. Kim Nam Joon is the leader of the biggest gang in all South Korea and craves revenge for having his godfather being killed by Papa Choi. When their paths cross, nothing can hold them.

Untold Stories by @interludemoonchild

Genre: fluff

Parts: 8/?

Summary: A series of drabbles based on Namjoon owning a bookshop in a small town.

What Am I To You? by @honeyedhoseok

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 2/?

Summary: To Namjoon, she could make the salt taste like sugar on her hands. But in the end, she isn’t as sweet as he believed her to be. 

 

 

COMPLETE

Best Friend!Namjoon by @lamourche

Genre: angst, fluff, smut 

Parts: 3/3

Summary: “I locked the keys in the car.”

Passionfruit by @joonbird

Genre: smut

Parts: 4/4

Summary: To you, matters of the heart have always been simple. You’ve always lived by three rules: you don’t do emotions, you don’t do attachment, and you don’t do love. That is, until you meet the enigma that is Kim Namjoon- a man who shakes your entire world upside down.

Piercings by @personawife

Genre: smut

Parts: 2/2 + 1 (feat. Yoongi)

Summary: “What’s that sticking through your shirt?”

Rumor Has It by @jjungkookislife

Genre: smut

Parts: 2/2 + drabble

Summary: After hearing a rumor about your best friend, it's all you can think about.

Tear by @polaritae

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 3/3

Summary: Getting the attention of your crush seems impossible. Good thing your best friend is always willing to help out!

 

 

ONGOING

Dame-De-La-Nuit by @cyphahobi

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 2/?

Summary: First night on the job turns into a week long adventure of business and pleasure. Landing business man, Kim Seokjin as your first client, turns your whole world upside down.

Evanescent by @jinletgo

Genre:angst, smut

Parts: 1/?

Summary: You’re a journalist-aspiring secretary to Kim Namjoon, the CEO of Telescope, a leading lifestyle and culture magazine. One night with a handsome and charismatic stranger ignites a passion and excitement that you didn’t know you had. When that stranger turns out to be Kim Seokjin, the print journalist of a rival magazine, the simple life you take for granted and dream career you’d been working towards are left in jeopardy…

King of Hearts by @thecozywhaleshark

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 9/10

Summary: You are a famous writer who can’t exactly show up to an event alone… so you hire an escort… his name is Jin.

The City Comes Alive by @minflix

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 1/2

Summary: Being a street performer, Kim Seokjin sees many nameless and forgettable faces each and everyday. But there is this one girl that he can’t seem to forget. Maybe it’s because his heart seems to fall in love with her a little more each time she passes him by.

 

 

COMPLETE

Aperitivo by @bangtanbetchfics

Genre: smut, feat Jungkook

Parts: 2/2

Summary: On the heels of a breakup, you fall hopelessly in lust with two pastry chefs on your vacation in Venice.

Burden by @neonlights92

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 8/8

Summary: After the death of his wife during childbirth Kim Seokjin is unable to hold his baby daughter without grief taking control. Just three weeks after the love of his life is taken from him so suddenly, Jin is expected to marry somebody new. You are foolish and have spent your whole life pining after Kim Seokjin from afar, even after he marries your best friend, Seul.  But suddenly Seul is gone and you are expected to marry Jin and raise his child. You know your heart is already in it, but what about his?

Alt. Summary: A marriage to Kim Seokjin was all you ever wanted.  But not at the cost of your best friend’s life.

Don’t Wanna Fall by @9uk

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 4/4

Summary: After your boyfriend breaks up with you, you are in need of company. Strangely enough, you get more company than you had initially wanted.

Alt. summary: His world revolves around wealth, power and most importantly—women. He’d spoil every one of them by his side or on his bed, with limited edition bags and expensive heels. So why is the CEO of kim corporations currently buying you a pet bunny?

In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 25/25 + 2 different endings

Summary: We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

Peach Parfait by @jamaisjoons

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 2/2

Summary: You and Seokjin have always been at odds as the top two chefs at Big Hit Academy of Culinary Arts.

The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 5/5 + drabbles

Summary: You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

 

 

ONGOING

Addicted by @yoongiandchiminie

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 4/?

Summary: Suga, the Stealth and Weapons guy of Bangtan meets his Soulmate with a bang. He’d grown up believing in the idea of finding the person he was destined to be with and won’t let her get away. Even if she’s addicted, he’s determined to help her. He just wants to save his Blue girl.

Choices by @btsiguess

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 4/?

Summary: You didn’t think that when you woke up this morning you were going to go out and buy a hybrid. But really, ending up with this stupid cat might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Much to both you and Yoongi’s chagrin. 

Grey Area by @blushoseoks

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 13/?

Summary: And just like that, your fate was sealed - because min yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so.

Reputation by @mindayss

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 1/?

Summary: Min Yoongi’s got quite a reputation. As do you.

 

 

COMPLETE

Di piano e forte by @justoneday-namjoonii

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 6/6

Summary: Piano; A keyboard of cypress, played with soft and loud. Was it the ivory and onyx keys that let you escape from your reality…Or was it the man with sable hair and ivory skin.

Errantes by @cno-inbminor

Genre: fluff

Parts: 2/2 + Epilogue

Summary: Yoongi accidentally gets spiked pumpkin juice, but it’s not by alcohol. More like it was spiked by a Love Potion – Beguiling Bubbles, to be exact – and Sora may or may not have had a hand in this. The point is, she’s hoping Yoongi will never find out and she’ll be alive to take her N.E.W.T.’s.

Fragility by @writtenyoongi

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 3/3

Summary: “There are a lot of fucked up things about me, you know? And there’s a lot of fucked up things that have happened. But when I’m with you all of those things, yeah they still exist but it’s like they’re a lot further away, I don’t feel as if they’re eating me alive.”

Long Time Coming by @an-exotic-writer

Genre: fluff, angst (?)

Parts: 6/6 + drabble

Summary: In which it’s been a long time coming since you’re meeting Min Yoongi once more.

Private Lessons by @baeseoul

Genre: smut

Parts: 2/2

Summary: “I have an idea,” Once he saw how you straightened in your seat, your gaze flaring with aggravation, he continued quickly, “For every question I get right, you tell me something about yourself.”

Skin Deep by @aquaminwrites

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 10/10

Summary: Yoongi has never—and presumably will never—like tattoos.

 

 

ONGOING

Bygones Of The Sun by @scriptaed

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 3/?

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the rises sun has gone into hiding- because perhaps its shadows have out-shines its own radiance.

Euphuistic by @guksthighs

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 2/?

Summary: Hoseok’s delivery of flowers does not go as planned when it starts raining and someone mysertious gives him an umbrella.

Plant A Kiss On These Tulips by @honeyedhoseok

Genre: fluff

Parts: 2/?

Summary: After your boss, Jisu–head wedding planner at Ornate Events–develops a ragweed allergy, you are put in charge of working with the florist company In Bloom. But instead of their top-notch flower arrangements, their incredibly radiant owner Jung Hoseok proves to be what catches your eye over the course of the months that follow.

Salted Caramel by @your-miss-right

Genre: fluff

Parts: 9/?

Summary: She liked him…a lot and she just wanted to get the point across. Too bad the wrong guy got it. Note to self: Check orders before writing little notes to the wrong customer!

Starfire by @readyplayerhobi

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 6/?

Summary: The schism that broke the galaxy began, as it usually does, over a disagreement. The resultant civil war has raged for hundreds of years. When a ragtag group of travellers discovers something that could turn the tide of war, for good or for worse, the bonds of friendship and love will be tested.

Note: ok but basically just read all of Tali’s Hoseok series sdjfakjaf

Wall to Wall by @winetae

Genre: smut

Parts: 1/4

Summary: Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman. Your agent comes forward with a proposition to help put you back on the map.

 

 

COMPLETE

By Its Cover by @crystaljins

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 8/8

Summary: Your annoying little brother Jimin accepts a dare and summons a demon into your living room. There are multiple problems with this. 1) Demons are the most hated species on earth. 2) That demon happens to be Jung Hoseok, the most popular guy on campus 3) The fact that Jung Hoseok is a demon is his biggest secret and 4) Jung Hoseok hates your guts. You’re in for a wild ride.

Life in the Fast Lane by @sugaxjpg

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 1/3

Summary: Hoseok was not someone who expected to find love, even less under the conditions he met you—bleeding to death in an alley, unable to go to an hospital without being recognized by the ones who did such thing to him. Though, he would soon learn that the best things in life are the unplanned, kind ones. Especially the kind ones.

The Black Book by @honeyedhoseok

Genre: smut

Parts: 9/-- (discontinued)

Summary: Being personal assistant involves doing a lot of different tasks for your boss Jung Hoseok–including setting up his rendezvous with his black book clientele.

The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend

Genre: smut

Parts: 15/15 + Epilogue + author’s note + drabbles

Summary: You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

 

 

ONGOING

Contraband by @leadermon

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 11/?

Summary: If you had known what you had known now, would you have gone? If you knew who you would meet, the boy with the bright orange hair, and how getting wrapped up in him would tear all your brother had built to the ground, would you have gone?

Crossroads by @honeyedhoseok

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 4/?

Summary: You summon Park Jimin, the crossroads demon who rather than taking your soul and granting you wish, wants to become an extremely annoying life companion.

induratize by @hobiwonder

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 5/?

Summary: Prince Jimin had grown up despising people from your empire and vice versa. When your father weds you to the crowned Prince of Haelyra, your kingdom’s sworn enemies, as a form of alliance to fight a greater evil, you struggle to make sense of your new life as the future Queen to be and deal with a husband who cannot stand you.

Jealousy Games by @avveh

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 3/?

Summary: You decide to play a game of push and pull with your ex Jungkook, bringing Jimin along for the ride.

 

 

COMPLETE

Handyman by @drquinzelharleen

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 5/5

Summary: Jimin is your landlord’s son. After one stressful day he comes to fix your shower for you. You find yourself constantly thinking about him. Could he be the perfect submissive?

I’ll Never Be Her by @anon-luv

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 5/5 + Epilogue + drabbles

Summary: You loved him with all your heart, but he could only give you half of his. Jimin was the love of your life, your night in shining armor when she wasn’t around. She was his ex girlfriend,  his first love, actually she was his many firsts and she kept coming back. He had warned you she was his weakness, but you didn’t listen, because to you having him even if it was only partially was better than not having him at all. At least for now.

Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 7/7 + Epilogue

Summary: Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Nine One One by @yminie

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 2/2

Summary: When murder and crime threaten the city of Seoul, there’s a team in place to help keep the public safe, but just what do you do when all your training is to help others, and the one that needs help is actually you?

Limerence by @jiminscenarios

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 14/14 + Epilogue

Summary: He was a coldhearted asshole and the leader of South Korea’s most wanted gang, whereas she was an innocent and kind college student. They were polar opposites, yet he was so infatuated with her. But opposites are supposed to attract after all, aren’t they?

Love Yourself Trilogy by @threeletterslife

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 3/3

Summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda… but when life throws you curveballs, it is what it fucking is.

 

 

ONGOING

Begin Again by @writtenyoongi

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 4/?

Summary: Things had been tough since your divorce from yoongi, you were still heartbroken over losing him whilst trying to balance being a single mother and providing the best you could for your daughter. When Kim Taehyung enters your life you start to learn how to love again, but the beautiful man is not without his own source of heartbreak.

The Client by @jungkookiebus

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 2/?

Summary: Your services applied to many types of people and you were good at what you did, delivering sexual fantasies. This particular client happens to be your personal favorite for more reasons than one.

Van Gogh by @btsjeonjazz

Genre: smut

Parts: 1/?

Summary: Who would have guessed that Kim Taehyung, honorable student and your tutor, had some dark secrets?

V2 by @honeyedhoseok

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 9/12

Summary: This series is reader-insert revolving around Taehyung and his long-term surreptitious relationship with Y/N. 

When You Least Expect It by @johobi

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 12/15 + drabble

Summary: You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

 

 

COMPLETE

Change by @junghelioseok

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 9/9 + Epilogue

Summary: A kind, handsome stranger makes you question your deteriorating relationship. 

One Good Purr (Deserves Another) by @jinpire

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 4/4

Summary: Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to visit Taehyung just before your heat. (Or to ask if his best friend was available.)

Summer Love by @analovegirl

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 3/3

Summary: It was Summer when he lost his whole world, his family and his identity. And it’s summer again when he comes across the girl he swore was his enemy. Join Taehyung, as he tries to find his true identity– as a human and as a merman, along with the mystery of his parent’s demise.

The Chrysanthemum Effect by @rosaetae

Genre: angst

Parts: 10/10 + Epilogue

Summary: Keeping your flowers, keeping your pain— it’s already everything you need to move on. How do you move on from things if you’re not willing to accept them?

Yarn by @dreamhimcloser

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 2/2

Summary: The mere idea that someone will kiss you while you slept made you shiver with disgust, but your educators promised you time and time again that this is exactly how you reach true love.

 

 

ONGOING

Block Party by @minlucent

Genre: smut

Parts: 2/?

Summary: Moving into your new apartment brings back memories of your biggest mistake.

Employee Perks by @chiminiemoans

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 3/?

Summary: Sure, the employee perks at your job were bonuses, life insurance, sick leave, health benefits etc. etc., but the best employee perk of all was working with a man known as Jeon Jungkook.

In Debt by @ichirakukpop

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 2/?

Summary: All your life you’ve been taken care of by your rich father and his money, but when a someone named Jungkook barges into your home demanding for his money back, your life is turned upside down.

Serendipity by @rohobi

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 10/13

Summary: The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. After forgetting to click out of his pornhub incognito tab last night, you find yourself shoulder-to-shoulder with Jungkook at 3am watching the rest of it.

 

COMPLETE

Anima Meaology by @arckook

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 4/4 + Epilogue

Summary: Your best friend was never supposed to know that his name was on your wrist.

Falling Skies by @fortunexkookie

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 6/6 + drabbles + spinoff oneshot

Summary: Jeon Jiyeon was your childhood best friend; her brother, Jungkook, was something else entirely.

Goldilocks by @perpetually-jungshook

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 10/10 + drabble

Summary: After getting evicted, your two best friends Jimin and Taehyung offer you a place to stay until you get back on your feet. Needless to say, with a part time job and a mountain of student debt, that’s not happening any time soon. Eventually, they DO become really fond of having you around, helping with chores and even splitting rent. So when you come home one day to find someone has been sleeping in your couch-bed, well… it’s something you won’t take lightly.

Oath by @bangtan-yeonghon

Genre: angst

Parts: 33/33

Summary: What if one day everything you ever wanted is taken away and your whole world comes crushing down? If you were to forget today, who would you be tomorrow?

Watch Me Babygirl by @lunarimagines

Genre: fluff, smut

Parts: 20/20

Summary: Jungkook is your brother’s annoying best friend. You can’t stand him but he just can’t resist teasing you. How far will he actually go?

Will You? by @jungee

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 2/2

Summary: Jungkook + you = prom dates??

 

 

ONGOING

Bangtan Crossing by @mintedmango

Genre: fluff

Parts: 4/?

Summary: You step off the train in the quiet of dusk with a relieved sigh, just looking at the awakening of some stars and the bottoms of trees of this countryside town in awe. It was so different from the city, so dark at night, not lit up by thousands of street lamps and buildings turned on in the wee hours of the evening.

Lifeline by @forgottenpasta

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 6/?

Summary: What happens when a witch curses seven vampires to share one fated mate between them?

Lueur De Lune by faery_kth (AO3)

Genre: fluff

Parts: 5/?

Summary: Your recent move has caused a lot of stress and you decide to take a stroll by the little lake behind your house only to find the moon and her fallen star.

Over the Moon by @threeletterslife

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 6/8

Summary: You feel isolated in the vast American country with no one but your older brother and your six rowdy friends to keep you company. But when they disappear without a trace, you’re left with nothing. Nothing until you become dragged into the world of the mob. The mafia world promises glory, fame and big bucks. But that comes with backstabbing, pain, regret and vengeance behind the veils. You’re not ready for that alone. Are you?

Potions, Magic, And Otherworldly Charmers by agentlemanshat (AO3)

Genre: fluff

Parts: 3/7

Summary: Have you ever imagined Namjoon as a high-end witch? Jungkook as a werewolf or Jimin as a merman? And a magical world full of possibilities? Well, look no further! Because here is where it happens.

Twisted Tails by @kmseokjins

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 4/?

Summary: After the death of your older sister, you're suddenly entrusted with her two hybrids. Who knew that following your sister's wishes would eventually turn your life upside down.

Void by @btssavedmylifeblr

Genre: angst, smut

Parts: 6/?

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

 

 

COMPLETE

A Fairy Tale’s End by @bangtan-dreamland

Genre: angst, fluff

Parts: 8/8 + Epilogue

Summary: You wanted, for once, to be someone important, someone needed- to be wanted and appreciated, to love and be loved. Well, you should be careful what you wish for.

College by @btslibrary

Genre: smut

Parts: 7/7

Summary: A 7-part BTS smut series.

Hybrid House by @hollyhomburg

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Parts: 3/3 + Epilogue

Summary: To Seokjin, Home consists of his human partners Namjoon and Hoseok as well as their Hybrids; the pups- named Taehyung and Jimin, their black cat- called Yoongi, and their foxboy- called Jungkook. Together they have the happiest family possible, everyone loves everyone equally. So what happens when Namjoon finds you? A cat hybrid, beaten close to death left alone in an alleyway on the coldest night of the year? He takes you home, shows you his family, and together they teach you what love can be like.

 

 

  

 congratulations you made it to the end....lol. enjoy all these fics and give the authors lots of love, okay? 🧡

[writerloading]

Here’s my brief analysis on why I think Klaus is the best written character in the TVDTO universe - why he brings such an impact. If you’d like to add anything else, please do! 

First thing I want to say about The Originals is that it answers a big question that all screenwriters focus on when first beginning a story. The question is “What is your story about?” And when I ask that, I don’t mean, tell me the plot of your story. I mean, what is the theme, the meaning - what are you trying to say. For TO it’s: Family is power, Redemption, and The ability to change. Each story should have an A and B plot. A plot is the story and B plot carries the arc. The show builds a structure for itself. I also feel unlike other shows, TO doesn’t drag its story. It ended right at the best time and finished its story. A lot of fans were angry that Klaus died, but I think after the path that his character went through, it was time for him to die. After being the inevitable, the one who was the most indestructible hybrid that ever lived, the one who couldn’t die, the one who couldn’t love, he became the man who finally was able to die and love. And he died for the love of his daughter. 

For what your story is about, most people are wrapped up about the plot, they don’t think about the person going through the plot. They don’t see the change. In order to be successful in your A story, you have to be successful in what your story goes through in general. What is your main character going through, what is their goal?  For Klaus his goal was to be the most powerful by gaining his daughter. Even though he already was. From an outside perspective, everyone already saw him as one who can’t be defeated. He, however, didn't see that. By the end of the story, his goal was to make sure his daughter was saved. The goal began from his daughter and ended with that, but from a different ideology. When writing a story, your story should begin and end the same way - but the goal should be different. If I start my story with a shot of a cross and end the story with that same cross being burned, the story ends in the same way but with different intentions. Within that space, you should be able to figure out what happened in the story that caused that outcome. 

Elijah’s goal was to gain Klaus redemption, and that is what he received. I think their relationship is one of the most important in the show, especially the way they develop as brothers. The way they develop tells us a lot in the cinematography. 

Here, as you can see, they begin very far apart from each other, but as the seasons go by, they become closer until they are finally able to hold each other to show their love. 

The Originals is a very character driven story. Klaus’ actions initiate another problem, which initiate another problem and so on. Without him, the story doesn’t go on. Everything revolves around who he is and what he does. Klaus’ inner conflict has a good way of being external. What Klaus feels about himself gets addressed through his anger and his actions. One thing about Klaus’ character is that he never used his abuse or his neglect of his father as the reason to justify his evil to other people. It was always because “He’s a hybrid. I can’t be killed.” or “I am Klaus Mikaelson!” People saw his high power because of his status, not because of what he went through. 

When Cami admitted to him that it’s because of his past or because of his siblings, he always denied it and even though we all know that it’s because of that from what we see on screen, Klaus doesn’t see that. He is in heavy denial. I think that’s an important factor to his character because a lot of villains are like “Oh yeah, I’m like this because of you.” They use exposition to justify who they are, while Klaus is trying to run away from his problems and make himself a ruler because if he daggers everyone, then he doesn’t have to face why he’s lonely or why he’s angry.  Klaus’ emotions weren’t just there to just show his character and who he was, but his emotions moved the story forward. His anger or his grief added a scene or created a different plot, which added consequences, and these consequences pushed change in his character or someone else around him.

One detail about Klaus redemption I’ve recognized is him showing affection. I don’t mean having sex with different women, I mean the kind of affection that shows your vulnerability. I’ve never seen Klaus sleep the entire show unless he was daggered or spelled or hurt. There’s one scene where Klaus sleeps for the first time and it’s next to Cami. Cami is the character he really exposes his vulnerability to. I think that is a really well written quality in his character. I truly believe Cami is the character in Klaus’ life that he really loves, really fell in love with and accepted. Now, I’m not saying he didn’t love Caroline. I think he does love Caroline, but his love for Caroline is completely different than his love for Cami. I think Caroline allows Klaus to love her and Cami - being the psychologist that she is - opens up Klaus to his feelings. Cami instigates Klaus to love. She tells Klaus to not be afraid of taking in love - that he’s deserving of it, and I think that’s one of the big things that draw him towards her. She was brave enough to push him - to make him see that he’s worthy of people. Cami is also one of the only people that Klaus has held hands with, besides Hope. Which is another vulnerable affection moment besides sleeping.

Klaus is one of the villains that knows his limits and even with his actions, he somehow cares for others more than he thinks. He portrays himself as someone with no capability for redemption, but the thing is, he’s been trying to redeem himself since the beginning of his time. And that’s another well written factor about his character. To reach your end goal, you need to be able to introduce that goal from the start.  One example is Klaus saving Marcel from slavery. Or when Hayley was hitting him and said fight me and he didn’t want to hit his baby’s mom. Or saving Detective Will Kinney from suicide.

It’s really well written how The Originals “showed but never told” that the reason Klaus constantly made sure Rebekah never fell in love with anyone was because he wanted her for himself. Because if she fell in love and left then he would be alone and he wanted his siblings with him all the time. Which is why he also always kept them in coffins next to him. So they’re always with him even when they’re not. He also daggered them because when he saw a flaw in them that didn’t match his perception of how he saw him, it was just easier to just stab them than face his problems. Which is also why Klaus made hybrids for himself. He said he was making a hybrid army to keep himself safe, which didn’t make sense because he’s stronger than all of them, but it was also because he didn’t want to be alone. I think the writers did a great job in showing that in his character. 

The story’s parallels display really well in Klaus’ redemption. When Klaus first became a hybrid and began turning, his father always saw him as an abomination. As someone who wasn’t worthy of being comforted during his transformations. When Hope had her first transformation, Klaus made sure that Hope wasn’t alone. He made sure that she was worthy of being a hybrid and that he was proud of her for it.

Tagging the people in the previous post that were interested :) @true-unicorn-queen @g531 @saltybisexual @barnes-107th @adrianadmirer @nevermoreraven1 @i-lady-ink @imburtmaklinfbi @angelwingsnaya @wilt23 @lina-neena @anotherporpoisetofind​ @quirkymarvelstan​ @mrs-potato-head-stuff​ @sweetcakes-n-milkshakes​ @sztodo​ @caprica99​ @senatorblitz​ @hargreves​ @gloster​ @aurea-corde​ @giraffe-sickle​ @salazar-slytherins-lavalamp​ @gracemyface​ @elijahs-wife​ @sherlockednerd​ @spn-obsessed-dean​ @darklights11​ @thedorkphoenix​ @mrshaleyjames​ @ashinouterspace​ @theircrookedheart​ @fangirlonaroll​ @overwhelmingly-hufflepuff​ @bravura-cameos​ @eleanorgeorgia123​

[zuzuslastbraincell]

☕ Aang.

He's a character I don't see you talk about much, so I'm curious about you thoughts on him, his character arc, what you like or dislike about him, etc.

The short answer: Love Aang. He’s great! Feel like a lot of the dislike of his character (while fading, at least in the circles I’m in) is misplaced. People who think Aang didn’t make the right end game decisions don’t understand his character / miss the point, IMO. That said, dislike some of the character decisions especially r.e. Katara/Aang.

The longer answer: I really love Aang and I feel like the hate he receives from various parts of the fandom is very unwarranted, though I wonder if it stems from watching the show as a child his age and finding his playfulness unrelatable - like as a kid I might have found it exasperating but as an adult I find it very refreshing and it is so obvious to me that Aang is A Child, it informs how he behaves and his decisions massively, and I wonder if the dislike comes from the lack of perspective and being unable to view Aang as a kid, being kids themselves when these haters watched the show?

That said, all kinds of people do dismiss Aang as immature and it frustrates me to no end, because being cynical =/= maturity, a willingness to make difficult decisions that betray deeply held beliefs =/= maturity, and Aang’s decision to stick to his beliefs should always be viewed in tandem with the context that he is a victim of genocide, that genocide includes the destruction of a culture’s common beliefs and practices too, and whether those beliefs live or die in the future starts and ends with him.

Additionally, I feel like Aang does possess a lot of emotional maturity for his age, even if he has bouts of being immature (like, normal, honestly). Like he processes his anger in a way that is largely healthy, actually? I think that’s a thing most people don’t understand, they don’t see that as part of Aang, when really Aang processes his emotions like someone who’s had very clear healthy models for it. He does feel anger, and grief. When Aang tells Katara in the southern raiders episode vengeance isn’t the way, that’s something that he’s fought hard internally to believe in, that’s something that he’s learned.

Tying into that, I think an overlooked aspect of Aang’s development is how in season 1 Aang spent a lot of time looking for Fire Nation citizens who were good / who could be good, because the idea that the Fire Nation is fundamentally evil contradicts his world view (”the monks taught us all life was sacred”), but I think that was probably a perspective he clung onto as well as a way of dealing with his grief. Like, I feel like Aang has fought hard to reaffirm his beliefs in a world that seems determined to “prove him wrong”, surrounded with characters who largely don’t share or understand them & see it as naivety because they lack perspective and have only known war / understand the brutality of the opponent they’re facing on a personal level. I think we don’t see a lot of this explicitly, it’s largely subtext and often an internal debate -- Aang doesn’t have many people to soundboard these kind of thoughts off, there’s no one who is an air nomad or of a similar kind of upbringing around.

Tbh I feel that Aang is best in season 1, largely because his developments in later seasons also incorporate his feelings about Katara as part of his general development, and if I’m just completely honest with you all, I mean no disrespect to Katara/Aang folks you’re cool in my books but I’m just not sold by it at all. For example, because Aang’s journey mastering the avatar state involves him reckoning with his earthly attachments and the idea of letting go, and that conflict revolves around his feelings for Katara, and because I am not particularly sold by Aang and Katara, that impacts on how I view that whole arc. I love a good friends to lovers arc where the depth of those feelings extends to both friendship and romance but I feel like the way ATLA writes romantic arcs often involves a character suddenly looking at another with heart eyes and very little actual bonding to justify that sudden change, very few *journeys* or *arcs* that culminate in feelings (unrelated, but this is my theory as to why Zuko is shipped with almost everyone, because he literally has several life-changing journeys with other characters at the tail end of S3), and it’s fairly unconvincing / pretty flat to me? Especially since we do not get anywhere near as much an insight into Katara’s feelings in that regard? I get that romance isn’t always a grand arc or whatever but given that it’s tied to a lot of Aang’s S2 development, I think it ought to have more prominence.

If I’m honest, I also feel like Aang’s development regarding Katara and the Avatar State was incomplete, and that made a lot of his S3 development frustrating because in other aspects I think he came into his own and matured - usually in subtle ways, like his attitude in the Southern Raiders, but also we see him from being understandably upset about having to hide his identity, to incorporate aspects of Fire Nation dress into his final late S3 look - but in that aspect, his arc felt incomplete to me? This might be a poor reading of it, but to expand on how I see it, in S2, Aang is incapable of letting go of Katara until literally the most critical moment, when he has to -- at which point, he is struck down by chance. In S3, the concept of entering into the Avatar State being a matter of difficulty is literally not mentioned, so we can presume he’s come to terms with letting go of Katara - which directly contradicts the pushy behaviour he shows in Ember Island Players, the way he ignores her boundaries? And then that’s literally never addressed, Aang never apologises, Katara and Aang never have an important conversation resolving the conflict there, and in the end Aang gets the girl? It’s frustrating.

Like, the way I see it, “letting go” of Katara shouldn’t mean putting no importance on her - I actually like the idea of Aang not being willing to leave his friends behind, his compassion and care is important in this aspect. Rather, if I were in the writer’s chair, I would have it that “letting go” means a willingness to face rejection. Aang lets go of a romantic prospect of Katara - and acknowledges she can and might reject him, and that’s always a possibility, but opens his heart to her anyway out of trust (and when they get together, it’s not because he’s proven himself worthy, but because Katara wants to be with him). I think that would have been such a monumentally *powerful* message, especially in a late 00s cartoon, prior to the likes of Adventure Time and Gravity Falls quite explicitly deconstructing the idea of the male protagonist always getting with their crush (I feel like a vital context new viewers miss r.e. Katara/Aang is that the male protagonist would always always get with the girl in cartoons, it always happened, to the extent that female characters existed as much as love interests as characters in their own rights). I honestly don’t think it would even require that much in terms of change! I might show that in S3 Aang still has difficulty with the Avatar state at times - he can go into it at will, but not always - and that’s because he’s in the process of letting Katara as a crush go. I’d still keep the kiss in Day of Black Sun - tbh, I have no issues there, he thought he’d never see her again quite possibly, he’s impulsive, it makes sense - but I’d maybe highlight a slight awkwardness afterwards. I might even keep the awful Ember Island Players conflict - but crucially, I think Aang would have to learn from this. I think when Aang might realise he’s still struggling with the Avatar state as late as Sozin’s Comet episode 1, panic, realise he needs to internalise that belief more, and I think he’d leave Katara a note - including an apology for his actions before, for pushing her when she wasn’t ready, but explaining also, that he needs to go on a journey by himself to figure this out. Rest of Sozin’s comet goes ahead as normal, more or less. I’d end with Katara, maybe at the tea shop afterwards, talking to Aang and asking him why he went off by himself, explaining that she & the gaang would be there for him, he didn’t have to go on a journey alone. Aang would explain that he didn’t expect they’d understand, they’re not monks, and Katara explaining that maybe they wouldn’t, but he could *try*, that’s a risk you sometimes take (but concedes they could have been more understanding). And I think over that conversation it hits Aang it’s not about being alone. Everything’s connected. It’s about not clinging on. it’s about being willing to lose. It’s about trust. I think by the end, they agree to try and communicate better, and Aang then asks Katara out - mirroring “Do you want to go penguin sledding with me?”, similar kind of activity. He almost tries to over-explain and say ‘listen it doesn’t have to go anywhere’ but Katara just smiles and says yeah. And they leave to go on their first real date.

Anyway that’s how I *would* have handled it and that is what I think could be an interesting and compelling arc that wouldn’t take much adjustment to add. Aang is afraid of losing Katara, and realising that he can and might lose her is important.

.... that’s way more than I intended to write but yeah. I feel like a lot of Aang’s development ties in with his feelings for Katara and that’s where I take issue.

[littlehobbit13]

3am thought for The Magicians last night, thanks to some random sentence in an article that set me off. Pardon that it’s a little jumbled.

Okay here me out. If Jason Ralph was leaving the show, then that's that. They proceeded forward on the presumption that his physical portrayal was unavailable for the storyline. Fine, I hate it, but I get it. But if that's the case, the writers could have done something WAY better with Eliot's storyline with the Dark King. Both are people grieving the loss of a loved one, but while Eliot is fresh in his grief, Seb has been consumed by it for years and years. Really good character contrast, I felt. Think about what they could have done with this season if they would have put that grief processing more front-and-center as a storyline. They’re all grieving to some degree, and it’d be a better way to tie everyone’s individual stories together than that moonpocalypse plotline that really only served to give Alice the chance to master internal circumstances. For example: Alice’s depression golem obviously ties in (response), Fen/Josh/Margo tiff about choosing when to let go could tie in (timing), Fen’s grief at losing Fillory could tie in (memory), Penny’s unresolved grief over the thing with his mom could tie in (connection), etc. EVERY plotline had an element of loss and grief, which would have made “processing grief” a really easy core theme to revolve everything around. Especially if it turned out to be the final season, and the audience is now grieving too for the series itself, god it would resonated so well. Don't get me wrong, Mountain of Ghosts as written was an amazing episode, probably one of my favorites in the series (surprising, considering I was pretty underwhelmed by season 5 as a whole). It just hit a lot of really right emotional notes, and what it did to bring Eliot and Alice together in mourning was brilliant. I love that episode, the episode was good. Come at me.

THAT SAID. Getting back to Eliot and his Dark King foil. What if Eliot didn't quite finish mourning in that episode? What if he revisited with Seb, as he did -- became Court Magician or whatever, blah blah blah -- but inadvertently let himself get caught up by Seb's resolve to resurrect Lance, and let himself have that hope that he could have Quentin back the same way. And he starts to align himself with Seb's line of thought -- crucial note: not so much that it erases the importance of Eliot believing Seb's "just some deluded asshole" while all the rest of his friends were immediately looking for a way to kill him, because that too was important characterization for Eliot. But they could have made a much better use of Eliot/Seb's relationship (and Hale/Sean's fuckin' A+ chemistry) and the buildup to the finale would have been way more impactful IMO if you'd have seen him buying into the hope of reviving Quentin (if nothing else, making it seem like at least one person was gonna work as hard to revive Q as he did trying to save others in past seasons). And the progression to the finale is Eliot gaining the understanding of the importance of being able to move on. Think about the parallel they could have had: all the work that Rupert put in and the Beast claims the whole time "Lance moved on already" and then you can parallel that understanding for Eliot and Quentin, that yes it's horrific and devastating to lose a person you've loved so dearly and completely, but there's also something to be said about loving them enough to let them have their peace. If Quentin walked through the door already, then he accepted his death, just as much as he would have wanted Eliot to embrace life and not lose himself in what he’s lost. It'll be shitty for a time, but THAT is the "importance of death" message, and THAT is the right message to send about moving through grief. Eliot learns that lesson, and then through him he's able to impart it to Rupert, the storyline mostly closes out the same way but maybe this time with Eliot realizing he’s not defined by his losses (and doesn’t have to fuckin’ settle--sorry, sorry, that’s a rant for another day). The whole thing would also make Quentin's death fit WAY better with the established theme that "while you're alive, you can try again". It's the perfect loophole for writing a permanent major death in a show where they save every last fucking person: while you're alive, you can have as many chances as you're willing to take to push forward, but there's also an importance in accepting death and being able to move on from a loss (ie. ‘push forward’). They fit. The two messages absolutely fit that way without making you seem like a hypocrite to themes on which you've built 4 goddamn seasons.

And so yeah, if Jason is going then Jason is going, but I'm circling back to "Jason leaving is no reason to have shitty writing surrounding the impact of Quentin being gone". That's their responsibility as the writers, to make it work within the context of the story and its mood and its characters' motivations. That's where they dropped the ball. That's where they could have done better. That's how they could have made the death message seem way less of a giant middle finger to their audience members and instead just the normal respectful melancholy of a beloved actor/main character needing to leave the show.

[bigskydreaming]

tremsing82 replied to your post:

Feeling a mood to write some...

I would love for Jason to find out about Bruce’s abuse to Dick. Like Jason is from a abusive household and after he returned as red hood Bruce didn’t hold back but for Jason to find out the abuse Dick received from Bruce outside of the mask would be interesting to read.

This won’t be a prompt I use for this, solely because this is actually a BIG thing with me, and something that pops up a lot in various of the longer projects I work on off and on in my spare time. Mostly in a series of one-shots that are meant as a BFTC fix-it, that pretty much revolves around the idea of Dick and Jason eventually reconciling in the aftermath of Bruce’s perceived death, and bonding over the idea that they’re pretty much the only two people in the world who knew Bruce the way they did - at both his best and his worst. 

How to grieve for someone who at times you both loved and hated, who helped you and who hurt you, who was everything you wanted to be and everything you never wanted to be, all at the same time, at different times, at the strangest times.

So Jason finding out about the things Bruce has done to Dick, like in NTT #55, is of course a central part of that, as is Dick finding out the specifics of what happened between Bruce and Jason in UTRH (because I firmly and forever believe that Dick has zero idea about the batarang to the neck, just like I have trouble seeing any way in which Dick would have known about RHATO #25 before being shot and not had a serious reaction with Bruce). To me, a huge central part of these two brothers’ conflict in specific, is this perception they both have (with valid reasons) that the other has at various points had a relationship with Bruce that they would kill for.....even while being perfectly aware that at other times, their relationship has been nonexistent. 

But these specific actions of Bruce would inevitably be the cold shock of reality to them both, because I firmly believe this is the thing they could never explain away or justify to themselves.....they can reconcile the idea of Bruce hurting them on specific occasions, and not deem it abuse even as intimately acquainted as they are with the realities of abuse given everything they’ve lived, seen, and fought against in others....because they don’t want to accept that Bruce is capable of that, that they’re capable of....’submitting’ to that, so to speak, without leaving him behind...a huge part of them needs to keep him on a pedestal even when they’re furious at him. He played such a large role in shaping their lives in ways that they are grateful for that they have trouble juggling that with this perception of him too.

And due to their own individual self-esteem issues and negative self-perceptions (as well as desperate need for his approval, even when they vehemently deny they need or want it)....they’ve always been largely able to justify to themselves, or explain away his worst treatment of them.....but only so long as they’ve been able to convince themselves it was just them. That Bruce was only this way with them. 

Because one of Dick and Jason’s commonalities is that their self-deprecation is only the equivalent of their willingness to throw themselves under the knife for someone they care about, and that their negative self-perceptions are constantly being reinforced with what they perceive as additional evidence that various others are better than them. Do deserve more than them. Don’t deserve to suffer the things they’ve suffered. So IMO, my take has always been that Dick and Jason deep down love Bruce and the specific image of him they want and at times even need him to be....to such an extent that they can justify or explain away most anything he does to them at his worst....but I don’t believe for a second that either of them could ever do that if confronted with some of Bruce’s worst behavior with the other, or someone else they cared about.

So, the illusion born of their best memories of Bruce and that has so much to do with their inability to call him out on his shit even when faced with the reality of him in their worst memories of him.....can only hold, so long as they’re both one hundred percent convinced that it was just them. No one else. Because they must have deserved it. But that’s not an argument they’d ever make for anyone else, especially not one of their brothers.

But yeah, so this is a topic that as you can see, I’ve thought a lot about, lol, so its definitely something I’ve written about in depth in various WIPs that will at some point see the light of day (I’m posting WIP-phobic these days, due to uh....several years between updates on various published WIPs). Like I said, mostly the BFTC fix-it fic, but it pops up in various other things as well. There though, it has a super large presence because I personally can’t imagine all of that not coming up in their grieving processes for Bruce, because as much as most of us would like to romanticize deceased loved ones at all times, and never think of them without rose-colored glasses on, I can only draw upon my own experiences and its been mine that this isn’t always true, even when you really, truly and deeply love the person in question. Grief is an ugly, messy process, and it dredges up a lot. You’re often confronted with everything you don’t want to remember every bit as much as the stuff you fight to hold on to. 

So I’ve always really wanted to tackle that, as well as the dichotomy of being an abused kid who loves their abuser as much as he hates them, because with parents its just not as simple as pretending that the good emotions don’t exist, or ignoring the memories that truly are positive and had a positive influence on you and who you became, the parts you’re genuinely grateful to them for and wouldn’t want to imagine being without, even if you could. Its not easy to love some people, but its no easier to hate them, and to me, that’s Bruce and his relationship with his two eldest in particular, to like a T. 

Plus, I’ve always really liked the idea of exploring what kind of relationship Dick and Jason could have if these two brothers whose relationship at so many points has been largely at a distance and based off hearsay or imagined beliefs....like, in the aftermath of a tragedy like this, only finally started to really get to know who the other was, as adults, once the illusions they’d both been clinging to about their varying relationships with Bruce was finally stripped away. Also, I really wanted to explore the family dynamics that would result from the two of them specifically, with their contentious relationships with Bruce at some of his worse moments...like, forming a united front to kind of ‘protect’ Cass, Tim and Damian’s perceptions of Bruce, because for the most part at that point in time Bruce was still their hero, for all intents and purposes. Tim hadn’t yet IMO truly been disillusioned with Bruce at that point, Cass certainly hadn’t, and Damian might not have perceived things in the same way the others had, even if he had been fully aware of everything, but Bruce to him at that point was still kind of...a larger than life, mythic kind of figure. 

And I wanted to delve into the idea of Bruce’s two eldest children, who perhaps deep down wished that they had been left with just their cherished childhood memories of him and never had to remember the times that made them feel disillusioned with their father, like....the two of them acting in concert to kinda...protect their younger siblings’ own various cherished views of their dad, like....I just see that as being something very important to them, for reasons they’re not entirely clear on (or perhaps just don’t want to examine too closely).

Plus, of course, Bruce eventually returns as we all know, so.....holy conflicting emotions, Batfam.

But you’re absolutely right that Jason does and will have a LOT of thoughts and a lot to say on the subject of NTT #55′s events, both to Dick, to Bruce eventually, his therapist, etc.

Because not only does Jason NOT like the idea of his second father having abused his elder brother at all, to any degree, for any reason.....

You better fucking believe it that IMO, Jason Peter Todd has a fucking LOT to say about their dad using HIM, the child he ‘saved’ from an abusive home, as his EXCUSE to abuse his other child.

"Oh, I’m sorry, you were so fucked up about your previously-abused-kid dying that you thought a good way to handle it would be to abuse your other kid so that maybe when one day he died too, he and I would finally have some things to talk about? Yeah I think the fuck not, Pops!”

Anyway. Like I said. I obviously will not be expanding on that particular topic at this point in time.

Obviously.

Not even a little bit.

[lit--bitch]

Current-Reads (20/04/2020 - 26/04/2020) 🍓🐢

(Disclosure: I don’t know anybody I’ve been currently reading this week. 😊)

Adding the preface again here: every Sunday without fail I throw up the freshest literature and photography I’ve read over the week, sometimes it’s a book, sometimes it’s a piece I saw in a magazine or an online zine, sometimes it’s something I saw on social media, etc. Sometimes I add ‘RECOMMEND’ next to a few of the titles, but that’s not to say I don’t recommend all of them, I just love some pieces more than others. Not everything will be everybody’s cup of tea, yanno, c’est la vie. And any titles that you see in bold are hyperlinked so if you click or tap them they’ll direct you straight to the source… or shopping basket. 

This week I’m gonna throw in a red herring and tell you about something I’ve been watching as well as what I’ve been reading, because I think it’s really cool and definitely appropriate for the age we’re living in at the moment. 

So I’ve been reading: Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) which was edited by her son, David. I also read an interview on Granta from March between Rachel Long and Morgan Parker. I’ve also tucked into a couple pieces on Fence, Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’ and Anthony Michael Morena’s ‘The Whale’. I also saw Cecelia Knapp’s poem in Bath Magg Issue Three (but the whole issue is an absolute smacker, it’s great). Last but not least, I’m up to episode 5 of a brand new thing called The Midnight Gospel. It is crazy good. And it’s on Netflix right now. 

***

Cecilia Knapp, ‘I Used To Eat KFC Zingers Without Hating Myself’, Bath Magg Issue #3: I really loved the whole of Issue Three, I guess I was quite struck by this particular poem for its “staccato-ness”. This poem is buttered with present-day references. But they’re not necessarily about creating a familiar environment. Rather the object of familiarity is found within the assemblage of places, snacks and thoughts, all of which compound the grief ‘I’ is experiencing. The ‘I’ ruminates on life’s banality and their personal insecurities in living banality: ‘I need a thigh gap. I use emojis / to avoid conflict. Worry I’m a gentrifier. Watch docs about murdered women’. The vapidity is funny. The pain is not. The insecurities deepen. Your body, your life, continues the ache of day-to-day routine, and finds no resolution in the things which may or may not stand to comfort oneself when ravaged by loss. The poem feels quite loose, and disinterested. It’s a sore poem, but its array of references make it colourful. It sort of reminded me of Édouard Levé’s work a little bit? But if Édouard Levé had been a pop culture fanatic chewing HubbaBubba bubblegum on the London Overground.  Bath Magg is a pretty exciting new magazine, (been around just under a year I think?) and they’ve published a lot of great writers, many of whom are emerging and I’ve spotted some quite established peple in there too. Kudos to their rubber ducky logo. It’s run by Mariah Whelan and Joe Carrick-Varty. 

In Conversation with Morgan Parker and Rachel Long, Granta Magazine: I deeply love Morgan Parker’s work, she’s, in my opinion, the master of titles. I can’t think of anybody who titles their work as well as Morgan Parker does. And I love the depth of honesty and charisma in this interview. Like yeah, it appears to be a generic Q/A but, it genuinely feels like a conversation, and it’s welcoming and unpretentious. Rachel Long asks some penetrating questions, and Morgan’s answers are so detailed and self-aware. Most of the discussion revolves around the action of writing poetry in general and where does that impulse arise from, but they do discuss Morgan’s latest collection Magical Negro which came out February last year. It’s a narrative on black womanhood, on micro-aggressions and reoccuring violence, it’s about breaking down white perceptions of blackness, and dissolving those projections. What I love about Morgan Parker is she’s tackling this fucking idiot thing where (mostly) white people think she’s attempting to represent all black women in her writing, which is, by Morgan’s own admission, impossible. Her work is a duty to herself, to the background she’s lived and lives, and to unpack that discourse in her own way. And if it resonates, then great! I felt all this was inherent in the interview and only adds to my respect for her, and to Rachel for being such an attentive interviewer. BTW Rachel Long has a debut collection coming out this July, My Darling from the Lions.

Anthony Michael Morena, ‘The Whale’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): I can’t tell you how much I adored this beautiful mass of whale and word. It’s an essay which references the American Natural History Museum’s Blue Whale model. The writing is thick with feeling and fat with concern. It blends monologue, memoir. It’s non-fiction and documentary. It’s elusive, enigmatic, fragmented. It’s like broken biscuits and blubber. To me it felt like a note on the offences of climate change, the emotional response and grief as we bystand erosion and corrosion, the loss of life, and the urge to merge something back together as it dissolves and fragments before our eyes. It’s as personal as it is public. A gorgeous and complex piece.

Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) (RECOMMEND): I felt so afflicted reading Susan Sontag’s diaries, because y’know, it’s the equivalent of invading an Ancient Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Like, leave people alone. At the same like, this woman. These diaries are still shaping me, and each section leaves you with the weirdest aftertaste. Her personality permeates through every detail, every line-break, every reference and articulation of feeling. You learn so much, you gain so much from her perceptions and observations. How do I contain Susan Sontag? How do I describe these diaries? Not at all. Just buy it. 

Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): My eyes locked onto this piece and just didn’t really stop reading. Lexi’s voice is enamouring and hypnotic. It’s so violent too. You’re lunged into friction burns and sports injuries, time and progression, the tensions between collectivity and individuality, family and sexuality, or as Fence put it, ‘lesbian eros’. This piece felt acidic. At times you can’t tell if the ‘I’ is indifferent or hurting to the point of numbness. It straddles so many different thematics, and breaks down a lot of conventions pertaining to the “ideal experience” of family relationships and team work. The resolution seems to be that in spite of people, our collectivity is defined by our collective solitude. This essay kicked me around a football field. It takes a good few repeated reads to appreciate its kaleidoscopic shifting, but it’s definitely one of my favourites.

The Midnight Gospel, from Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell, Netflix: (RECOMMEND) So the other day my friend Ben linked this to me and I had seen the trailer ages back and thought “Oh yeah I really wanna watch that”, but just forgot. After his reminder, I started watching it and ever since I’ve been saying to loads of other friends “Have you watched ‘The Midnight Gospel’ on Netflix?” because I’m d y i n g  to talk about it with everybody. 

I literally can’t categorise this “TV show” to you. It’s like if animation had a baby with a philosophy podcast and then put that baby onto an IV drip of psychedelics. It’s this swarm of different stimuli which you kind have to zone in on and absorb individually and yet somehow collectively. 

So like, “Clancy” is a spacecaster who sets up “spacecasts” (podcasts) with creatures from other simulated worlds and he interviews them. But when Clancy transports himself into these worlds, it’s not like they’re sat down on some cream sofa with two glasses of water like it’s animated Oprah. No, his interviewees are like in the middle of fighting off a zombie apocalypse or meditating on a mountain or trying to find and save their lost lover. And Clancy just joins them on the journey and interviews them about their “specialism”. These are real people that are being interviewed like, the first episode is with Dr. Drew Pinker. And when you’re watching it, you think that the animation is totally separate to the conversation exchange the characters are having, but that’s not true. They have intersections, they have meaning. It only becomes obvious that it has meaning right at the end of each episode, but if you lock on you’ll see it’s all relevant throughout. 

One of my friends was like “Oh I might stick that on tonight and have a joint” and I was like, don’t fucking get high when you’re watching this because it’s already intense enough as it is, like you know that Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell have felt some real shit to create this absolute rare jewel. In my opinion, you don’t need cannabis to appreciate these discussions. But if you wanna do it, then hey it’s a “free country”. And it’s not as though there’s a serious, central core plot like there is with Rick & Morty, I mean there is a kind of overarching plot but it’s not always integral. Like ultimately we’re invested in Clancy’s story but also all the stories of all the other people that come his way. There’s multiple plots, there’s multiple dimensions and ways of seeing. It’s a programme which delivers on multiplicity, which manifests itself in everything and everyone we see and know and touch and hear, etc, etc. 

This production articulates some of the revelations that psychedelics can give you. Psychedelics don’t make you see the world literally like these animations do, but the sensations of the animation are reminiscent of an acid trip’s oscillating moods and sensitivities. It’s really cool, and it’s very poignant, and it’s my new favourite show to watch. And what’s so great about it is that, it requires multiple watches in order to really absorb everything in its entirety, so it’s a series you can just keep going back to even after you’ve seen them all. It’s re-watchable. Just fundamental goodness all round. Best way to indulge in it is with ice cream. 🍨

***

So that’s it for this week, next Friday’s review is Annie Ernaux’s A Girl’s Story translated by Alison L. Strayer, published with Fitzcarraldo Editions. 

Stay safe and well as always, my little caramels. 💁🏽

[jdc1717]

Thank you all for all the kind things you said for my last fic. It was really sweet.

Basically: Four and Sky find a journal.

-<>-<>-<>-<>-

A hopeful message

Sky and Four were walking around by themselves for a bit. It was dusk and the rest of the group were already at camp doing who knows what kind of chaotic things.

Sky and Four had wanted to escape from the others before the chaos could start. They had seen the energy building up in Wild and it gave promise of mischief.

“This is nice.” Four said while looking around. They were near the ruins of Castle Town. Despite the long destroyed homes and buildings, wildlife grew all around and made quite a beautiful scene.

Sky smiled. “Yeah. It’s amazing how despite all the destruction has come, it can be rebuilt in such better ways.”

They continued walking for a bit before Four pointed to something in the distance. “What’s that?”

Sky held a hand to his forehead and leaned forward to look where Four was pointing.

There was a tree that seemed to have strange markings on it.

“I’m not sure…”

Before Sky could continue any further, Four was heading towards the tree. Sky, also curious as to what it was, quickly started to follow them.

The tree was like any other, tall, large, healthy. The only thing that set it aside were the markings that someone had carved into it.

The two squinted at the markings for a few moments before Sky voiced a thought, “Doesn’t it look like a cucco?”

Four tilted their head at the tree. “Yeah… it does.” He looked to Sky, “Do you think something is buried here?”

“Why would something be buried here?”

Four gestured to the markings. “Well it looks like this was left here for a reason.”

“Maybe someone just really like cuccos.”

Four snorted, “Those devils? I don’t think so.”

“what if it’s a body?” Sky asked.

Four stilled at that. It wasn’t hard to imagine a body being buried around there.

The hero of the four sword sighed, “Yeah, we shoul-“

“What’s that?”

Four saw where Sky’s gaze was and followed it to a hidden crack inside the tree. The two looked at each other before they came to an agreement.

They needed to know what, if anything, was inside.

Four reached their hand inside the crack and pulled out…

“Is that a journal?” Sky asked.

Four studied the small book in their hands and nodded.

It looked old. Years old. The blue cover was worn with time, leaving it torn.

Sky boy his lip, “Should we… should we read it?”

Four looked around and back at the book. “Well, one little page couldn’t hurt…”

Sky’s curiosity was overwhelming. “Just one, and then we put it back and head to the others.”

Four nodded. They sat down and began to read.

XX/XX/XX

This is a journal to my future self. I want to remember what I know about my brother. I don’t want to forget what he is like. Because already the expectations of the world are changing him and I want need to be able to remember him how he was. This may live on pass just me, so it will also be a story for future generations.

Sky and Four looked at each other. They continued reading.

Let’s start at the beginning. As children I remember my brother always being there for me. Our dad was the captain of the Royal Guard and my mother… my mother died giving birth to me. I know my family loves me, but sometimes I think they blame me for mom’s death. They say I look just like her. I’m not even sure how to feel about that.

Because our mom was gone my brother would often watch me while our dad was away working. My brother is an excellent cook, something my dad says he gets from our mother.

However, there were many times when my brother had to leave with my dad. At those times other villagers would come watch me. I never liked them as much as my brother.

For as long as I can remember my brother has known how to fight. With a sword, dagger, fists, anything really. There’s a part of me that hates my father for that.

My brother is kind, he will not fight unless he thinks it is necessary and sometimes I see him and father argue.

My brother always has a smile on around me, but I often wonder if he is just putting on a brave face.

Sky and Four didn’t bother to stop before turning the page.

He was 12 when he found it. No one is sure how he found it, my brother isn’t one to tell, but I can see that it is no blessing. People expect so much more of him now. “You will be just like your father.” They used to say. Now they say, “Our lives are in your hands.”

I haven’t seen my brother smile since then.

Four felt such sadness from within them. To be cursed at such a young age was… horrible.

Sky was sitting next to them with the same thoughts.

The two were too invested in the journal to stop there. They had to know what happened.

A few more entries: birthdays, funerals, weddings, preparations, and then the pages suddenly stopped. They were blank. Four flipped through the book until they found another page.

XX/XX/XX

It’s been a few years since my last writings. I’m not sure why I stopped. Maybe it was my hope that whatever was happening would be fixed and that everything would go back to how it has been.

That was such a stupid hope.

My brother has never seemed so… emotionless. It’s like all his thoughts revolve around just completing his job.

Maybe I’m right…

Dad has retired from his position, although he still has his sword. Not that I can blame him. The world has become dangerous.

Everywhere I go, all I hear is the threat of the calamity, but He will stop it. He and the Princess will save us.

My brother hasn’t been home in months, but that will be alright. After all this calamity business is done my brother will return home and our dad, my brother, and I will all sit at our table and have some apple pie.

My brother will come home. My brother is a knight. My brother is my favorite person. My brother will save me. My brother will save us. My brother is the Hylian champion and he will save us.

My brother Link will come home and we will eat some pie, because he isn’t going to lose. My brother never loses a fight.

Sky and Four stared and stared and, just for variation, stared some more.

“This is…This is Wild’s sister.” Sky said slowly.

“Wild has a sister!” Four exclaimed.

“...had. Wild had a sister.”

Four’s expression crumbled. “Does he need to know?”

“Wild has a right to know.”

“Know what?” The two heroes snapped their gazes to Wild and Twilight who had just appeared. The signs of past chaos showed in the ashes and dirt that covered the two of them.

Both avoided Wild’s gaze while Twilight asked, “What do you guys want to tell us?”

Sky answered, “We found this and… it’s important.”

He handed the journal to Twilight who looked at them strangely before reading. Wild read over his shoulder.

Sky and Four watched anxiously as the two read more and more. They were waiting to see the devastation that the book would bring.

It was surprising to see all the emotion fade from Wild’s face. He took the book from Twilight’s hands and sunk to the ground. “Oh.”

Twilight knelt next to his protege and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Wild, cub, are you okay?”

Wild looked up to his mentor with that blank face, the only emotion shown was the grief in his eyes. “Im… no yeah I’m.. im fine.

The tear that fell from his eye told a different story.

“It’s just another one.”

“Another what?” Sky asked.

Wild looked at the journal in his hands. “Just another hopeful message for a hero to save everyone. Just another person I forgot. Just another person I fai-“

“No.”

Wild’s head snapped to Four.

“You didn’t fail them. You did your best and literally died! That’s all people could ask of you.”

“But she-“

“She’s gone and I’m so sorry, but blaming yourself won’t bring her back.”

That emotionless face that Wild held shattered. Twilight quickly hugged his protege as he sobbed.

Four and Sky moved and sat on either side of the two.

“H..how..how can I..I m..miss someone I d..don’t even rem..re..remember?”

“She’s family, you never truly forget family. Just like the rest of us. We’re here Wild.”

And they were. Even as the night went on, they stayed with Wild. When the others finally found the four of them, they were all asleep. Sky, Four, and Twilight all surrounding Wild, who was clutching a small book over his heart.

[fasterthanmydemons]

I'm so sorry you lost a loved one but let me tell you that what you do deserves so much admiration; you managed to turn your pain into something to improve your writing and understanding of the twins if they lost the other. Turning tragic events of one's own life into something that can help you be better at something takes a tremendous amount of strength and you deserve so much credit for it! I also headcanon Pietro as the "weaker" one I just want to protect him. I think Mantis could help him.

{out of breath} Thank you, I really appreciate you saying that. I just thought I would offer some of my own perspective, since I’ve gotten comments over the course of writing Wanda that I make her too emotional, all she thinks about is Pietro, she cries too much, things like that. And I hadn’t realized until people complained about that sort of stuff that I was just  going off of my own experiences since the MCU provided me with absolutely nothing to indicate Wanda’s actual grieving process. But like her, I am an intuitive, empathetic, emotional individual, and so I figure well, she might feel and do similar things when processing her grief.

I’m three years out from the death of my loved one, and I can say that I still have nightmares about being with them when they died, I still cry at random references in movies and songs to people losing a loved one in a similar way, and even random things like people on news broadcasts crying about loved ones they lost suddenly for whatever reason will make me cry. Sometimes I have really lucid dreams where I can clearly hear my loved one’s voice, see their face, feel them hug me, smell their shampoo or other things they used to use, they say things they used to say to me... and it seems so incredibly real. And those dreams are either happy or I’m like sobbing in the dream and begging them to stay with me. But either way when I wake up, reality hits me in the face and I just wish I could go back to the dream world. Like I’d rather be there with them than here alone, heh.

It sounds stupid, but things like this happen on a regular basis for me, three years out from their death. On a daily basis people will say something that will remind me of them, or a song will come on the radio that they loved, or just any number of the multitudes of things we used to share and love together... and it’s just either complete rage that they’re gone too soon or sudden grief that hits me so hard I can’t not cry. I hate it when it happens when I’m driving because then I have to pull the car over, heh.

But my point is... that’s the reality of being very emotionally attached and even emotionally dependent on a person and losing them unexpectedly. Three years after they’re gone, your life still revolves around the way they used to be in your life. I still, even after this long, have that feeling of just waiting for my life to stop being so strange and go back to normal. So imagine now, Wanda... three days out from Pietro dying. Or three months. She is not going to be okay. Civil War took place what, less than a year after Ultron? And the Avengers cleared her to be in the field on an actual mission? I think that was very irresponsible of them.

And I’m not by any means mad at or trying to call out people who kinda complain that my Wanda is different than in the movies. She is, heh. That’s why I say canon-divergent on her blog. But really, it just goes to show that like... people that don’t know Wanda from the comics and don’t know how emotional she can get, and people who don’t have writer’s brains who are constantly filling in the blanks between the lines of canon material with their own extrapolations, interpretations, and imagination, really only take canon at face value. So yeah, my Wanda does cry a lot more, and mention Pietro all the time, and seem a lot more broken and unable to move past his death, but that’s because to me and drawing from my own experiences, that’s more realistic to me than never mentioning him ever again and never shedding a tear for him past the immediate time after he died. But I also write her with muses that are helping her to cope and adjust and process everything afterward. I do write her being strong despite feeling torn in half by Pietro’s death. So it’s not a static state for her to be in that much despair, but it is an important part of her character, her life, her development to go through this really dark period. 

I haven’t had nearly as much of a chance to write Wanda post-Endgame, and I feel like now that WandaVision is looming, a lot of the AUs I would come up with obvious don’t lead into that kind of... strangeness? XD (Although I do have a starter inspired by the concept of WandaVision and by what happened in the comics right here if anyone is interested in reading it.) But I would love to explore how different the loss of Vision is as opposed to Pietro. She loved Vision, but Pietro was her other half, really. No loss is ever going to hit her as hard as Pietro’s. Having said that, I feel like... you know when people’s pets die and they run right out and get a replacement animal to kindof “transfer the love?” I’m guilty of that, haha. I feel like Wanda needed someone to love and Vision was there and she had a connection to him through the mind stone, and he did save her life, and so maybe under other circumstances she might not have looked to him or felt the same about him, but having lost Pietro, I think maybe she tried to fill some of that void with Vision. She’s older after Endgame, things have set in with Pietro, but Vision’s loss is still new. She’s a different person after Pietro, and now she’s changing again without Vision. So... I would love to explore how her grief differs with that loss vs. Pietro’s.

And now... as to the last part of your ask... I haven’t seen the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, and Mantis was never one I followed in the comics, so I only know her from Infinity War and Endgame. But I thought she was absolutely adorable, haha. But yeah, Pietro is physically strong, physically healthier, stronger in personality as far as being forceful and extroverted, but Wanda is emotionally stronger. She can overcome so much more emotionally than Pietro can, and she doesn’t really even believe that that’s true. The thing with Wanda is that she has fairly low self-esteem at various points in her life, and so if she’s told that she’s not good enough or if she’s left to think that herself and given someone like Pietro who will always protect, always shield, always do for her... she will just allow that person to take care of her. And she’ll just believe that she’s so fragile and needs that sort of support from someone. But the reality is that she can survive and endure and overcome just fine all on her own. Unfortunately to realize that, she has to be forced to do it, by losing her loved ones or being pushed into situations that leave her with no choice but to adapt or die. Pietro, if given the same choice, would let himself die, either through a conscious choice or simply because he would succumb to his own despair.

How could Mantis help him, though? Like I said, I’m really not familiar with her, although I did notice in Infinity War that she had some mental abilities like Wanda. Could she help to sort of even out Pietro’s emotions or something? I don’t even know anyone who rps Mantis but that would be an interesting plot to do, heh.

Okay why can I never answer an ask like this without gabbing on for four miles, haha. I’m sorry for the word spam folks. XD But thank you for sending in these asks, I love them! =)

[krokonoko]

Doin one of my play by plays of the Pokemon movies.

It’s been a while since the last one! That’s cuz chronologically, we should do the 3rd one next, but the 3rd one is my fav and I’d rant for hours about how good it is and ain’t nobody got time for that, so we gonna skip straight to the fourth one.

I always remembered the fourth movie decidedly unfavorably. It’s categorized in my head as “the one that started the era of Pokemon movies that suck.”

And yeah it’s. Not as good as its predecessors. It was the movie that started the formula of “cute helpless legendary Pokemon needs to be saved from evul ppl.” It was the first one starring Ash’s new German voice actress, which was a big reason for me to stop watching the anime back in the day cuz WOW that new voice was the most grating thing in existence.

But looking back, I feel like I did the movie injustice. I think it’s got a lot of neat moments, and some that I honestly love, if only for their silliness. So let’s do this.

We start with music rehashed from the first movie. Not a good look, though that’s probably 4Kids fault.

GOD that cgi is ugly. And even worse, it was already back in the day!! There was never a time when this looked good.

wow thanks lady that looks gross af

those are some big ass nidoran

Oh no, the evil guy is weakening Celebi in order to catch it...! ...Wait that’s what we’re doin all day long in the games.

Honestly, it never made sense to my why the plot of the anime was so often revolving around keeping people from catching wild Pokemon? I mean I guess Team Rocket wants to use them for bad things, but Ash & Co. usually justified them keeping Team Rocket from catching wild Pokemon with accusations like “These Pokemon don’t belong to you!” ...bitch, yeah, they don’t belong to you either, they don’t belong to anyone, that’s why we’re catching them, that’s the entire purpose of the goddamn franchise?

And if the problem here is that this guy wants to catch a legendary Pokemon, then why am I required to catch legendaries to advance the plot in the games?

The cutest fucking Tyranitar.

What IS this guy’s outfit. Also will you believe me if I tell you it took me over 15 years to figure out this dude is a Team Rocket member?

“The Pokemon I catch with these balls become evil, and their powers are immediately maximized.”

Ah sure that sounds scientific and only slightly OP.

The title screen doesn’t exactly help the impression that this movie is severely half-assed, even if it’s made by 4Kids.

I also think it’s really funny that the English name of the movie is this run of the mill punny 4Kids bs. I mean. 4Kids. 4Ever. Wow. What ingenuity. And the German translation team took a look at that and went “NOPE, not doin it”, and called it “The timeless encounter”.

We’re about to see a Croconaw!!! :DDD

Will I ever be over the fact that Brock’s cute tiny Zubat evolved into a badass Crobat while I wasn’t looking? Nah.

Ah there it is, Ash’s new voice... You gotta understand, I had this huge crush on Ash when I was ~10yo, and his voice was a big part of that. So when it got replaced, I didn’t exactly take it well. Also the new one was doin its best to be even more grating than the English one. THEN AGAIN, the voice actress actually isn’t that bad in this movie and Mewtwo Returns.

HE.

No one knows how to actually pronounce Suicune until you hear someone else say it in a certain way and you go “NO that’s NOT how you say it!!”

I love how the old lady with the green hair is revealed to be the guardian of the entry to the forest since she was young. It’s just so funny how we just saw her jump about 30 foot off a tree as a teenager when Sammy was about to enter the forest, and go like “/game grumps zelda voice/ heeey kid, s’just a legend or whatever, but timetravel, it’s a thihiiing! Here, have some bread! byeee!” And then the kid vanished, and now she’s this grumpy old hag who waves her staff at everyone coming past her house like “DON’T EVEN FUCKING DARE GETTING CLOSE TO THAT FUCKING FOREST OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL KICK YUR ASS!!”

babies babies bABIES

That Stantler is fucking legendary. Idk how it is in the English version, but in the German dub, it’s just got the most normal voice. Like, often the ppl voicing Pokemon will kind of talk in a hissing tone, or make their voice sound deeper or whatever, but this Stantler sounds like a completely normal dude just matter-of-factly stating: “Damhir. Plex.”

And instead of, idk, holding Celebi into the water at the edge, Sammy walks into the lake, clothes and backpack and everything, and squats there like a tool. I mean I get it, the imagery is much stronger like this, but couldn’t he at least taken off the shoes? The backpack? THAT’S GOT HIS NOTEBOOK IN IT???

I love them. Every single one of them is so valid.

Nothing to see here, just a pretty shot.

I really like these old anime glow effects~

The best part about Celebi healing Misty’s knee is how she doesn’t just slowly try to put weight on it or something, but straight up jumps around on it. Ride or die, man.

This is one of my fav moments in the entire movie, cuz you got Celebi cruisin around in the foreground, and the boys sitting there, looking at the viewer with this exact vacant stare for multiple seconds without making a noise or moving.

You know, I mean... the first two Pokemon movies were some pretty basic stuff. Esp. The second one was really just a McGuffin hunt. But this one is just such a poster child for the plot that would be recycled in Pokemon movies like no other. The entire narrative has completely halted. All we are doing is watching Ash, Sammy and Celebi bond. There are no stakes and no tension, except for the fact that the Pokemon hunter is still on the lose but he’s so forgettable, who honestly even still cares about him?

And the thing is, this bonding between Ash, Sammy and Celebi is important so they can save Celebi from turning evil later, but it still rings kinda hollow what with the montage they’re getting of all the fun times they had for the last, say two hours?

The much more important thing, which puts this movie a bit ahead of most other Pokemon movies with this structure, is that Ash isn’t just bonding with the legendary of the week, but also with Sammy.

And Sammy isn’t just a bff of the week, but an established core cast character. Imho, that’s what makes the movie worthwhile.

The dumb thing about this is that Celebi didn’t even get corrupted for any good reason. It was literally just “yeah it was in that weird pokeball for a sec now it’s evil.” ^^°

cgicune

I remember first watching this movie and this was the point where I honestly started hating it because I was so disgusted by how unimaginative everything about this... ball? is...

yeah no, this is just. really really bad.

OKAY here’s another thing. WHY did Suicune turn up now?

On the one hand I do realize I like this movie more than I thought I did. On the other hand I’m starting to see why it was such a problem for me back then. This movie is just trying to copy formulas from the prior ones without really. Working for it. Remember Lugia and Ash working together? Lugia saving Ash and all that? Wasn’t that cool?

Yeah but there was also a reason for WHY Lugia stepped in and WHY they helped Ash. It was Lugia’s task to step in in case the three birds started fighting. And Ash was the chosen one. It’s flimsy as fuck, but it worked.

What’s Suicune’s connection to all of this? They’re... sorta like... another guardian of the forest. Cool. Then why didn’t they step in the moment the hunter attacked Celebi? There’s no real reason for them to save Ash and Sammy, except for the fact that they’re protags and they need plot shield.

Everything about the writing in this movie makes it so obvious even to a young teenager that this is just ticking boxes.

The thing is, the first three movies had at least one character developing. It took a human’s sacrifice for Mewtwo to learn the value of life, both of the life of others and their own. In the second movie, Ash had to live up to the responsibility of being the chosen one. And the third movie is just amazing and Molly is a really interesting character, she overcomes a deep grief and learns that escapism is not the answer to her problems and it’s just all around the best Pokemon movie of all time it’s got so much emotional depth idek where to start.

But here... Who learned anything? Who developed? And I think that’s where later Pokemon movies fall short. There’s not a lot of character development, and even if there is any, it just rehashes of the old movies. And while I couldn’t have put it into words like that when I was a young teen, I think that’s part of what bothered me so much about this one. 

Also what’s with this bs talk about the lake being polluted or the forest dying? A couple of trees got uprooted and there’s a bit of dirt, honest to god nothing but soil and stuff, in the lake. Give it a couple of months and it’s gonna be fine. It’s not like there’s toxic waste in the water or anything.

I mean you could say the forest is dying cuz Celebi is dying, but by the logic of the movie, it was the other way around! And honestly, nothing in the background even looks like its wilting at ALL. So this really doesn’t leave much of an impression.

Fuck this, this is not earned.

At this point, the hunter guy is just bullying Celebi.

And this little overpowered dingdong can’t even free itself from some dude grabbing it. Okay sure so Ash needs to save it againnnn what are the emotional stakes hereee

ANYWAY. It was all worth it for the only actual plot twist in the history of Pokemon movies:

And I actually really, really like this one. It’s not just an awesome twist but also a super sweet moment between Ash and Prof. Oak that deepens their bond.

So yeah, I think I already said everything I had to say about this one. Kind of the beginning of the end for Pokemon movies. Not saying there aren’t some winners in between, but man did they get formulaic. And the recent attempts to break up said formula are. Questionable at best. It seems like Pokemon can’t really escape itself, though I’m sure if they wanted they could create meaningful stories like the first or third movies or just solid, fun action movies like the second one again.

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Okay, so for any of you tired of the salt or tired of me complaining about Sharon Raydor’s death or James Duff don’t bother reading beyond this point. You have been warned. Rant will follow.

I just read his latest interview and if I hadn’t been infuriated before, I certainly am now. Every time he opens his mouth he just makes things worse. Basically what you get from this interview is that it’s the fans (Mary’s fans) fault for reacting in such a ridiculous and irriational way to a television show.

I find it interesting that while he continues to use Mary as a shield to hide behind and continues to say he killed Sharon off because he couldn’t end the show the way he wanted with her still alive(though why he needed or wanted it to go down that way I still haven’t figured out and he still hasn’t commented) he has yet to offer up any kind of explanation about why he lied to the fans about season 6. Why he offered it up as a gift and said we would be satisfied and gratified. He’s never commented on that, at least as far as anything I’ve seen.

So, here is my take on the article.

Maybe the fact that there is no hope is what has the fans most upset because they weren’t done yet.

GOD, people really don’t get it. We all understood Major Crimes was finished. We aren’t IDIOTS. We had accepted it. Yes, many of us hoped it might get picked up by another network but that inferno of rage did NOT happen because we were upset that there was no hope for MC to get picked up. That INFERNO was created over the senseless killing off of Sharon Raydor. END OF FUCKING STORY.

And what they are reacting to most is the death of Sharon Raydor (Mary McDonnell), which many didn’t understand why it happened.

Uh, Ya THINK? Did ANYONE other than James Duff understand why it had to happen?

So Parade.com had one final conversation with series creator James Duff, who patiently explained why both he and McDonnell felt that Sharon needed to be laid to rest.

Yep, try to take Mary down with you Duff, it’s what you’ve tried to do since this whole thing blew up in your face. Mary stated in her podcast that HE came to her with what he planned to do with Sharon, she didn’t go to him and say Sharon needed to be laid to rest. She even said that she didn’t want Sharon to die. She had to make the best of the decision that was made--she did NOT make the decision, that was all on JD. Though I’m sure she was probably thrilled to actually have scenes with emotion in them that weren’t revolved around Rusty.

It wasn’t a decision he made lightly or one that didn’t cause him some pain.

I call bullshit. He’s admitted to planning on killing Sharon off before, it didn’t cause him pain, he used her as a means to an end.

What’s really interesting is the controversy about killing off Sharon is still going on, all these several weeks later. What do you want to say to the fans that are devastated by her death?

I’m sorry they’re having an emotional reaction to a television drama.

Wow, could he possibly be anymore condescending. Jesus, at least Mary and Tony and others understand why the fans are so upset and why we were grieving. His response is to look down his nose and basically call us idiots for feeling grief over a television drama. And it wasn’t a “television drama” we were grieving for, it was a CHARACTER we loved, an actress we all love and admire and a COUPLE we loved that was destroyed. We emotionally reacted to THAT. And because it was SENSELESS.

I don’t know what else to say. I have explained it and the story that follows could not have happened under Sharon’s watch.

No, it couldn’t, because Sharon actually had integrity. What he doesn’t say here is WHY he had to end the story that way. It was such a horrible way for the show to go out, losing all its morality and integrity…For what?

I wanted to give Mary something extraordinary

I think he needs to look up what that word means in the dictionary.That was hardly extraordinary. Mary’s only played that out time and time and again--most recently right on the show she did before MC, something called BSG, you should remember James, since you tried to rip it off time and time again.

I wrote a story that made people pay attention to Mary and I feel like I did the right thing. But we also wanted to make sure to give the audience a chance to grieve with us and the passing of our long endeavor.

Okay, so no. No you didn’t. You had your regular viewing audience which spiked highest for her wedding, proving that the storyline you were NOT interested in writing was the one that garnered the most fan interest, then you killed Sharon off and the viewership spiked for her funeral. Yes, extra people (many waiting to binge watch when the season was over)tuned in to see if A. she was really dead  or B. To say good-bye to a woman they loved. I think most people believed her death was a hoax, that Sharon was pretending to be dead and tuned in to see how that played out.  So, yes you garnered attention for Mary but only once her character was FRACKING DEAD, so only the regular viewers, you know the ones who kept you on the air all these years, saw the lame storyline you wrote for Mary to play out until her funeral.  

And as far as grieving goes, are you kidding me? Once the funeral was over no one grieved about Sharon AT ALL. We grieved, but on MC she was completely erased as if she hadn’t existed. Life simply went on, even for Andy.

It was a difficult and painful decision for me. I can’t imagine, although I suppose it’s so, that people don’t believe I grieved very much. I cried while putting together those scenes, especially the one in the church. Also, not just because it was the end of the character, although that was devastating to me as well, but because it meant we were at the end of the show. I fully anticipated that this would be a controversial decision and my email boxes on my Facebook page just filled up constantly with questions about it.

I sincerely DOUBT he grieved at all. Anyone who could so coldly use Sharon as a pawn all these years does not feel anything for her.

But actually, you’re hearing from a dedicated minority of fans, and they are not fans of Major Crimes, but they were fans of Mary McDonnell, and that’s to be expected from that subset of fans. I knew it and Mary knew it. I discussed it with her. I said, “It’s not going to be the same as when we changed over from The Closer to Major Crimes and Kyra [Sedgwick] was gone.”

Again, the condescension from this man is just INCREDIBLE. So, we can’t be fans of Major Crimes and be fans of Mary McDonnell. And he seriously thinks that ONLY Mary McDonnell fans are upset by her death? There are LEGIONS of SHARON fans out there who are upset by her death and also a lot of even casual MC viewers. Are we vocal, yes, and sad to say it’s probably what got Sharon killed off. “That’s to be expected from that subset of fans.“ You can tell from his tone how much he despises Mary’s fans.

Also, yet again, he contradicts himself. Previously he stated that he was taking a lot of heat and people were mad at him but he was okay with that, it was just like when Brenda left and Sharon took over and he had to take the heat. Here he says how different it was. Honestly he’s made up so many stories he can’t remember what he’s said. And of course it was different, he didn’t kill off his precious Brenda Leigh.

I do believe Mary was astonishing, both in the last episode where she appeared in person, and the one in which she appeared in the video. I think the video was amazing, some of her very best work, and that’s what I was trying to accommodate

Oh yes James, how benevolent of you. You wrote that whole horrific sixth season in tribute to Mary. My God does he think we’re stupid. I swear it’s like he thinks he can turn the anger of the fans from him onto Mary. He wants everyone to blame her. And yes, Mary was great as she always is, but “some of her best work” Has he watched BSG?

No, it’s not. I said all along that the end of the story could not have happened had Sharon been there, and that’s the truth. That’s why I said she is like the leader who takes her vision to a new height, but does not get to stay there. She’s actually played that character before on Battlestar Galactica so she’s got that archetype inside of her as part of who she is.

So basically he is admitting that he has no creativity whatsoever and just wanted to copy BSG. HOWEVER, it’s BULL. Sharon had her vision all right. She took over that squad and Rusty Beck and imparted to them the knowledge and power of the law and rules and morality and integrity. And in end they ignored EVERYTHING that she stood for. That is hardly taking her vision to a new height but not getting to stay there to watch it play out. Her vision died with her and she would be devastated by what Rusty and Provenza did. Where is there anything but tragedy in that? To quote Sharon Raydor, “I will have to wonder where I went wrong as a mother.”

People seem angry at me, but I feel like I was reacting to events. I was not moving events, but next to doing something truly spectacular, there’s nothing like rising above something absolutely ridiculous. That’s what I’m doing at the moment.

How was he reacting to events. HE created the events and now he feels like our grief and our anger is “ridiculous”.  For everyone who ever thought he respected the fans, this is how he really feels about them.

To me, it seemed that Rusty (Graham Patrick Martin) had to be the one to kill Phillip Stroh and you gave us that. How do you think he’s going to live with it going forward? We’re not going to see it.

Yeah, we’re not going to see it. That’s why Provenza’s  (G.W. Bailey) already made a deal, and that is with Rusty. He said, “When you graduate, you’re going to work for the DA’s office and you’re going to work this off. You’re going to work this off and you’re going to see firsthand what it is we’re supposed to do.”

That’s supposed to make it better? That’s his punishment for murdering somebody? Yeah, too bad all murderers don’t get such a cushy punishment. Don’t get me wrong, Stroh deserved to die, it just should have been done the right way.

Well, I gave a clue to Rusty and Gus’s disposition at the end of the show. Gus suggests he has to go back to his own apartment, and Rusty says, “Stay,” and Gus says, “I’ll stay forever if that’s what you want.” Rusty takes his hand which is an indication of what will happen with Rusty and Gus.

Of course it is you FUCKER, cause you had to give those two immature dysfunctional BRATS a happy ending and destroy the couple the fans really liked. And how telling it is that when Duff was asked about what he felt the characters were doing now with MC over he doesn’t even MENTION Andy, cause you know damn well he killed Andy when he killed Sharon. Hell, he’d been slowly killing Andy since the heart attack.

But I don’t really know how the show would function in another season because I’ve not thought of doing it. People are urging the concept of novels on me. In years’ past I would have said no way. But the media environment has changed so much, publishing has changed so much, that I might consider it. I would have to figure out when they took place, what form they would take and all that sort of stuff. But I have considered maybe novelizing new stories of Major Crimes.

I wouldn’t read any of his shit if you paid me.

Also I would say that for the viewers, I felt like the threat to Provenza’s continued leadership, which is what Sharon wanted, would be something of suspense, and having Sharon die indicated to the audience that I was willing to do anything at the end, so that’s something else I wanted in the water.

Oh, who fucking cared by that point James. Really. I didn’t hear one person worried about what might happen with Provenza. We were still, you know, grieving for Sharon and many of us were not even watching anymore.

The other controversy — and I read Mary’s essay that she wrote for Variety — was the removal of her name from the credits. Is that standard practice?

It is. It is absolutely standard practice. As a matter of fact, Raymond Cruz wasn’t in the first two episodes of this season, and he was not billed. Mary was paid for every episode by the way, even the episodes in which she did appear, so it was not a financial decision.

No, it wasn’t about money James, it was about respect, something JD does not understand.

It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, because there were so many people saying they would never watch again without Mary McDonnell. Had we billed her and she not appeared, we would have been accused of chicanery or of misleading people.

Also, there were so many theories about that Sharon faked her death and she would be coming back in the finale to deal with Phillip Stroh, that if we had billed her, people would have been distractedly waiting for a moment that would never appear.

Oh, but remember, James, it was only MARY fans who were upset with you for Sharon’s death. You can’t even keep your stories straight at this point.

So this is a bit of irrationality as far as I’m concerned. If people are determined to be irrational than rational reasons don’t generally meet the need that they’re looking for. But I will also add something my father taught me, which is if you spend your day looking for friends and decency, you’re liable to find that, and if you spend your time looking for swipes in this respect, you’ll find those things, too. With the exception of Columbus, people generally find that which they’re trying to discover.

Yes, I will give you that James. At this point I don’t have anything but contempt for JD and I don’t give him the benefit of the doubt at all,  because he has not EARNED the benefit of the doubt. But, how you can he say we are going to out of our way to find the bad when he didn’t even bother warning Mary about this, and we know this because she wrote an article about it. He doesn’t address this at all.

I would urge Mary’s fans to look for all the ways in which we respected Sharon and all the ways in which we promoted her and pushed the character into the things that she always dreamed of obtaining.

She got her promotions. She got her marriage. She got her kids through college, which, by the way, only made her death more painful and made me, I guess, more loathed by a substantial subsection of the fans. But it’s my job to provoke emotional reactions and I feel like I succeeded.

What a complete and total asshole. If didn’t despise this guy before I sure as hell despise him now. He seriously thinks he respected Sharon? And he thinks that by giving her the promotion, the marriage and her kids through college makes it okay that he killed her? Yes, she got all that and then wasn’t allowed any time to enjoy any of it. And then of course it only made that “subsection” of the fans loathe him more, HELL YEAH, but that’s okay because he’s supposed to provoke emotion. Yes, he did succeed in that. He’s made so many people hate him and also have extremely negative feelings for the TV show he supposedly put so much effort into. If he wanted the negative responses like hate and betrayal, he achieved his goal, what a shame he didn’t put any effort into creating positive emotional responses.

Right and as you and I discussed last time, Mary agreed to it. It was something she also wanted.

Except Mary McDonnell herself said that she wished that Sharon hadn’t had to die.

Naturally if we had not known we were going to be cancelled, it wouldn’t have happened this year.

And there it is folks. Sharon was never going to survive under Duff. As he says here “it wouldn’t have happened this year” if they hadn’t known they were getting cancelled. Duff was planning to kill Sharon at some point, no matter what. I just WISH TNT had waited until he’d wrapped up filming the season and THEN cancelled them. Then he wouldn’t have had the chance to write that shit show of a death and he would have to live with the fact that he had NOT been able to kill Sharon off the way he’d been wanting to do for what appears to be years.

If they just sit down and think about it for a minute, people would realize that you can even create legal problems by billing actors who do not appear. So we followed SAG guidelines here.

Really, because you did it when Mary was on The Closer.

So possible novels, what else might you be doing next? Any thoughts?

I have some development in the works. I think it’s bad luck to talk about it, and I’m also writing a couple of features back to back, but the pace at which features get made is usually glacial, so if I mentioned them now, by the time they appear or don’t appear, people will have long forgotten. And I have a play that I’m finishing.

Please anyone who hears what he is doing, let me know so I can avoid it like the plague.