#like you may as well just cut that sad part out at this point

[arachnerd-8-legs]

actually, what does "growing up" mean, anyway? losing my whimsy and wonder of the world? being afraid of what other people think of the things i do and enjoy? conforming and choking under the very societal norms i despise? why would anyone want to do that? for other people's comfort?

what a shabby reason to give up my heart on my sleeve! i will continue to be happy and do what i want, actually

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

'Fake' Feelings

Zuko x Reader

Summary- In a pinch, you have to pretend to be in a relationship with Zuko. Little do you know it was never pretend for Zuko.

A/N- HAPPY BIRTHDAY @thethreeeyed-raven!!!!! This isn't my typical fandom as y'all know. I wrote this as a birthday gift to my best best best online friend. SHE'S AWESOME. Go check her fics out <3<3! CONTAINS A SINGLE BAD WORD >:)

Word Count- 2,468

"Mai, I already told you. I can't be with you!" Zuko was getting frustrated. While he did love Mai at one point, that was a long time ago. Zuko was now the Fire Lord, their relationship seemed like ages ago.

"And why not Zuko? We've been through this a hundred times. You always come running back, you're so pathetic. May as well cut the middle part and we can act like nothing happened." She stepped closer, pressing herself on his arm. "Like we always do..."

Zuko had finally realized how Mai controlled him. When he was weaker he was naive, now he knew what he wanted. Someone who never put him down, someone who never called him 'Pathetic.'

You.

He immediately thought of you. How you were so strong, but never put others down to feel powerful. How you always spoke your mind, but only out of the kindness you hid deep down.

Your walls were built up so high, but he knew who you were. He knew how beautiful you were.

"I can't be with you because I'm dating someone else." The words left his mouth faster than he could think.

This stopped Mai in her tracks. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you're not the only one I am allowed to go out with. We've been broken up for awhile now." Zuko was no longer on the defense, but the attack.

"You do know that I am the only one who could love you. Who could love a traitor, a banished prince. Who else, huh?" Her arms were crossed, a smirk on her face. She knew she outwitted him.

Releasing his bit lip, Zuko exclaims your name.

Her face dropped. She knew exactly who you were. She was furious.

"We'll see about that..." With that, she left the room.

You were on your way to visit Zuko, one of your closest friends, for a 'friend reunion' Sokka had planned. You were of course excited to see him after so long. Though, the ride on Appa was miserable. About a hundred "are we there yet"s and "I'm hungry"s from Sokka.

The five of you- Sokka, Toph, Katara, and Aang made it safely to The Fire Nation shortly.

Upon landing, a man in red robes greeted everyone.

"The Fire Lord sends his deepest regards, as he could not see to you himself. You are instructed to follow me to your rooms." He had a stoic expression, but you guessed he greeted people all the time.

Oh well, Zuko must be very busy as a Fire Lord. You were sad, but couldn't blame him.

What you didn't know was that Zuko was pacing his room, definitely not busy. In reality, he cleared his schedule as much as possible for the week you were all visiting.

How was he going to tell you? He was deeply embarrassed, not to mention Mai might try and pull something with you. He knew not to underestimate her.

The thought of her trying to hurt you was enough to rack up the nerve to confess. He just needed a moment alone with you.

A grand dinner was prepared for the Avatars arrival, the rest of you reaped the rewards of being his friends.

"This is SOO good!" Sokka exclaimed, "Zuko sure has a way with food....." He slammed a fist on the table, before quickly lifting more food to his mouth,

"Sokka, you know he has chefs who make the food, right? Please tell me you know that..." You deadpanned, looking at him.

"Uh... Yeah! Yeah, definitely...." He looked down, that was until a new voice appeared.

"Sokka, did you really think I cooked all this?" Zuko walked to the seat at the head of the table. You noticed you were sat to his right.

It was a Fire Nation tradition that the Lady of the house would sit to the right of the Lord... You brushed the thought off quickly, writing it all off as a coincidence.

"W-well I don't know! You've been working ALL DAY!" Sokka squawked.

The dinner went on smoothly, well as smoothly a dinner can go with this group. You could feel the servants and servers rolling their eyes at all the unprofessional comments, jokes, and laughter.

You didn't care, you were just happy Zuko was able to be himself.

Hours later, when everyone was worn out and had their stomachs filled, they started to head to bed.

You were one of the last to leave, having been helping tidy up as much as you could.

You thanked and farewelled the servers, trying your best to remember where your room was.

The Palace was much bigger than you remembered. The halls upon halls blurred together. You were soon lost.

Every direction you turned looked the same, you started to breathe heavy.

You could already see it, 'cause of death, starvation in the Fire Nation Palace.' Or maybe dehydration would take you quicker?

A man passed by, you were saved! Though, the closer you got the bigger his scowl grew.

"Excuse me, I think I'm lost. Can you help me?" You were nervous asking, it was so 'common' for someone to get lost in a palace. You were sure your cheeks were red.

His face was dark, his eyes covered by his demeanor. For some reason he seemed annoyed at you.

"Sir?"

A hand rested on your shoulder from behind. It started you, putting you into a 'fight mode.'

Turning around swiftly calmed your nerves as quickly as they came. It was Zuko.

"Can I help you?" Zuko was talking to the strange man, who was no longer so 'big and bad.'

"No Fire Lord Zuko, my apologies." He barred his head in a bow and left.

You had a small smile on your lips, "Thanks, he was starting to scare me." While you were positive you could have taken the man, you were tired and didn't really feel like fighting.

"Of course, I can show you to your room." He held his arm out, you took it.

The gesture was friendly, you told yourself. Nothing more.

You must have been lost for awhile, as it took a few minutes to get to your room. The small talk exchanged was nice, but something told you Zuko was hiding something.

At your door, he stopped. "Zuko, do you want to come in? You seem restless."

"Actually, I do have something to tell you..." The tone of his voice scared you.

"Oh, then please sit." He joined you on the edge of your end. The door shut behind you two.

You pushed a strand of hair back, nervously sitting. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not really sure how to tell you this... I really am ashamed to have to ask you for a really big favor..." You had seen him on edge a lot, he was quite the stressor. Nothing like this, though.

"Zuko, anything. What do you need me to do?" You questioned.

He looked down at his hands, "You can tell me. I'm in no position to judge you, you know that."

"I uh," He rubbed the back of his neck, "I told Mai that we were dating so she would stop trying to get with me." He spit out so fast you almost missed what he said.

"Oh."

Well that's not what you thought he would say...

"That's not the worst part." He lowered his face to his hands, "The ball in four days, well I told her you were going with me... She's got Ty Lee lining up suitors for her. Trying to make me mad. Also she uh, she's probably told everyone now..."

"Oh." You were at a loss for words.

"I... I don't know... I'm sorry. This is stupid, at the ball I'll tell everyone what happened. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen! It just slipped out an-"

"Zuko."

"Yes?"

"What if you don't have to tell everyone?"

You hadn't looked at him since he started talking. Honestly, a night with Zuko at a ball? It sounded like a dream. Zuko was handsome, kind, generous, and you'd had a crush on him for months. You knew he wouldn't ever really date you... So you might as well seize the opportunity, right? What could go wrong!

The two of you decided it would be wise to not tell anyone else it was fake, as Sokka, Toph, and Aang had big mouths. They'd slip up sooner or later. As for Katara, she wouldn't have kept that big of a secret from Aang.

So, for the next few days you and Zuko spent every second together. At first, it was coming up with plans for the ball. It turned into getting more physically comfortable with each other. That eventually escalated to spilling each other's deepest secrets, ya know... just in case...

Even in four days, you found yourself going from a crush to madly in love. You found out his quirks, what made him tick, his hidden likes and dislikes. Not a second was spent apart.

The afternoon before the ball you were stressed. It had been easy up until the ball. You just had to be yourself around Zuko, now you had to pretend in front of hundreds...

Katara helped you pick out a beautiful red and black dress. To match Zuko's of course.

A big scene was planned out between the two of you, Zuko would introduce you to everyone in an announcement and you'd walk don't the grand starts arm in arm with him.

It was fun to imagine and talk about, but now the 'what ifs' were running wild.

You somehow made your way to Zuko's room, knocking hesitantly. He begrudgingly opened, but became excited when he saw you.

"Zuko, I'm terrified." He quickly guided you into his room.

"What happened?"

"What if I fall? What if no one likes me? It's a lot of steps it-" He cut you off.

"Hey, it's okay... We can throw everything out the window. Just saw the words."

You swallowed thick. "No, no just... Just promise you'll be there? For me?"

Your name was a whisper on his lips, "Ill always be here for you... Just imagines its only us up there... Just normal day."

You nodded, more relaxed knowing he'd be by your side through I tall. It also gave you a wicked feeling of comfort to know he was still willing to do whatever you preferred. He would have ended the lie immediately if you asked, but you wanted to be there for him as well. To make sure Mai would leave him alone.

The Palace was bustling with people, waiters, food, activities, and entertainment. It all came to an abrupt stop when Lord Zuko appeared.

It was comical, trumpets blared and all head turned.

"Fire Lord Zuko, accompanied by-" Your name seemed unreal on his lips. To be announced with a Fire Lord? You felt you didn't deserve it.

You slowly walked into view of everyone, whispers erupting. To be 'accompanied by' was essentially dating for Lords and Ladys.

All eyes were on you as you took Zuko's arm, walking down the steps. You felt light, your grip tightening on Zukos.

"Almost there, I'm right here." His words were all the comfort you needed.

Music resumed and the party goers continued their fun.

That was expect for one person. Mai. She marched up to you, her questioning eyes on guard. Watching her march over sparked a fury in you, the fire started and didn't stop until you spoke.

"Hello Mai. How can I help you? Is your father well, since he lost his job as Governor and all..." You passively aggressively asked, a mock frown on your face.

"What would you know about Governor dad's and all? You grew up poor." Damn, she got you there.

"I guess the difference in poor and rich is personality. Cause you don't have one..." You shrugged your shoulders at her, biting back a laugh.

"At least Zuko loved me for who I am, not who I was pretending to be." She remarked, not really knowing why Zuko loved her or you.

"Damn Mai, you must know a lot about pretending. Seeing as you're a two faced bitch. Should I go and tell Ty Lee you called her an 'easy bed'." A gasp left her lips in shock, how did you know she said that? Well, you wouldn't tell her, but a gossiping Fire Sage spilled the beans.

Zuko, who had been temporarily called away to exchange pleasantries with a Navy Captain, had returned.

"Mai, I see you've met my girlfriend." He said, snaking a hand around your waist. Chills were sent up your spine.

She gave a scoff, "It'll never last. You're only in it because he's the Fire Lord." She pointed to you, then him, "And you, you just seemed to pick up the next girl you saw laying around. Talk about a downgrade. When you get tired of her, i'll be waiting." She walked away.

"What is her problem!" You exclaimed, face hot with anger.

"Jealousy, I think." He said.

You turned to face him completely. "What for, she doesn't even seem to like you anymore?"

"Maybe cause you're prettier than her?" He said, not realizing his own words.

Your cheeks were now flushed for a different reason. You swiped your lips with your tongue before speaking, "Thank you..."

Hours of dancing, partying, and eating went by. Everyone bought the act easily, you and Zuko were naturals at dating. The fun died down, and many were starting to go back home.

Zuko walked you back to your room, hand in hand.

"Thank you. I really cannot thank you enough, just ask. Whatever you want is yours." Zuko said, still grasping your hands at your bedroom door.

"I don't need anything. This was really fun actually, I know you were just pretending... but i've had the best time the past five days."

"Pretend?" His face screwed up, like he was in denial.

You blinked a few times, own lip curling. "Well, I mean... You made it pretty clear this was all just an act. I-I am not hurt." You were, but wouldn't let him know.

"Words cannot express how genuine these days have been... Oh gosh, I haven't felt this free since I was a child." He pressed on, serious.

"Y-you mean, none of this has been fake to you?"

"Well, I know you signed up for 'fake'." He looked over you, face uncertain.

With a step forward you spoke, "This hasn't been fake for me either..."

"Really?" He pressed his chest to your slightly, hand wavering around your waist. "Because I don't think I could live if you're lying right now."

"Will this answer your questions?" You leaned up, closing the gap and kissing him.

A/N-Thank you for reading, I haven't fully watched ATLA In a little bit sorry if Zuko is OOC!! When it's not midnight and I'm not super tired, I will edit any mistakes!

[moonbaetarot]

Pick a pile

What makes you a good person

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your a peaceful person you like to keep your peace. Your someone who goes with the flow your ok with change and new things even if your scared of a situation you know it’s all going to be ok. You stay true to yourself you’re not flashy you don’t flex your money or newest finest things you have. You see things from every perspective you’re not quick to judge you know everyone comes from different paths in lives and may see things differently. You may have struggled with mental health, anxiety or depression in your childhood or teen years this really played a part in who you are today. You may be a teacher or want to be a teacher of some sort or had a teacher in your life who you looked up to I’m getting miss honey and Matilda vibes. You make what seems impossible possible. Someone here could be 22. You have a lot of stability you’re ready for anything. You see everything as an opportunity. You don’t let people get in the way of your path in life. You know how defend your self you usally don’t tho if someone says something about you you just like I feel sad for them like “you must be miserable to hate on me” but if you need to defend yourself you’ll snap and get your point across.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

Being a good person may feel hard sometimes. it’s like you do everything for everyone and get nothing back. You over work yourself for people who don’t deserve nothing from you. You’re worrying about pleasing others over your own happiness. You may feel like being a good person gets you nowhere. (I’m sorry love if someone in your life and doesn’t appreciate you you need to cut them off you deserve so much more then people who don’t appreciate all you do, you are so important and you will find someone that will appreciate you.) You take care you others I’m getting empathetic energy like if someone around you is sick your fast to get them whatever they need because you remember what it’s like to be sick so you wanna help them get better. You stay committed your very goal oriented if you put your mind to something you’re doing anything to get there. Someone here may be very close to their grandma or used to when they were little. You find a way to see the joy in fun in life even when things aren’t easy. You’re good at giving advice you know just what to say in any situation. Someone here may have very long hair or like to their elbow. You know how to keep a promise. You need to learn to cut people out your life love someone in your life isn’t good for you.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

You use past situations to help better yourself. You work well with other people and groups. People see you as approachable you have a very friendly energy about you that makes people wanna talk and be friends with you. I feel like you’re a very good friend always checking up on people making sure everyone’s ok and making sure no one feels left out when y’all hangout. I feel that sometimes your face may say other wise tho lol someone here may have a rbf or just look mad or tired sometimes. You are good in relationships you were made to me a lover I’m hearing “best I ever had”. When you have kids you’re going to be the best parent you are going to love those kids so much And unconditionally. I feel like having kids is going to change you for the better if there things you don’t like or flaws you have become a parent is going to change all of that. I feel like you’re a trustworthy person people trust you with many things. You look out for people you love and protect them from people with ill intentions Your able to see the bad in people and they will think there slick and getting away with it but you see right through them. You have a mothering healing energy people feel safe around you being around you just feels like a big hug. You have a very soft submissive girly energy.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

[rubra-wav]

[ Entry #9 ] Various Vox headcanons

A/N I've got a post coming up about what I think it'd be like to actually date him coming up, (alongside Snap part 2 ofc, I'm just taking my time w it to try keep things accurate) so here's some points which will lead into that next post + other misc stuff I've been thinking abt.

Cw: SFW above cut, NSFW below cut - 18+ MDNI, reference to manipulative behaviours

SFW

- While drunk, he's both very affectionate and cute but also gets really sad and clingy. If you stop paying attention to him for even a second while he's gonna start bawling like a giant baby. It's also the only time he's truly 100% honest with how he feels about you.

Basically; the mask falls right off, so he doesn't like to get drunk around people. He will deny all that's been said or done during this.

- He doesn't need to sleep but likes to - when he sleeps tho he doesn't really sleep in the traditional sense but instead goes into a preset 'sleep mode' for a specific set of time. He can also be rebooted remotely if you need him up before he's programmed to wake up again. (I discuss more abt this type stuff in entry #4)

- Follow up point: when he dreams while in sleep mode, his dreams play on his screen. He often dreams about becoming essentially king of hell and having people worship him like a god.

If you bring this up, he will be embarrassed as all fucking hell and will also deny it vehemently.

- He ends up getting water damage fairly often because he really loves swimming and aquatic environments ironically.

He's of course got ways of waterproofing himself properly, but usually he will do it badly or just not give a fuck about it and go swimming impulsively.

Will complain like a bitch after getting water damaged as well, holy shit. Blames everything but himself about it.

- Follow up: if you ever take this man to an aquarium on a date, he's going to be so fucking excited about everything he's seeing.

He will be trying to contain himself, but he may end up letting the mask of calmness slip at points and just start randomly talking a million miles an hour about whatever shark, fish, sea creature, etc. He's seeing. He loves sharks so much.

- Somewhat follow-up point: If you 1. don't tell him to shut up about shit when he starts getting excited and talking really fast and loudly AND 2. Actually listen?

He's gonna be so goddamn happy. Holy shit.

He's used to being told to shut up when he starts talking about ideas he has for a new VoxTek project, so if you give him feedback and your thoughts on it once he's done info dumping? He's gonna start internally screaming because he's so happy about it.

- Follow up follow-up: He doesn't take criticism well though. In fact, he's a baby. If you're in a relationship and you've gotten him out of his bs a bit with his ego being fragile as shit about everything, it'll be better but still pretty bad.

He needs reassurance that just because you disagree or think (y) would be a better alternative than what's his (x), that you still think it's a good idea, lmao.

- If you wear blue light glasses he can't hypnotise you, and he absolutely fucking hates it. In an argument or confronting him, you just put on bluelight glasses and cross your arms, and he's so annoyed about it.

You'd need to start wearing blue light glasses, because this asshole will be trying to hypnotise you into forgetting things if you see something of him that he deems 'undesirable' about himself for you to see.

- He's such a colossal attention whore that the second you are doing something thats not to do with him or talking to someone who isn't him, he's gonna be pissy asf about it.

Think glaring at you while pouting and loudly tapping his foot. He's such a little shit 💀

- He's so intensely touch starved it's not even funny. If you're doing anything his hands are gonna be on your hip, your back or your shoulders.

He desperately wants to be physically close to you but he also will never normally instigate cuddle sessions because he thinks it's embarrassing that he wants them so badly. If you instigate them, he will absolutely love it.

Just not in public, though. If you try to be super affectionate or maybe even affectionate with him at all publicly, he'll be pushing you away telling you to wait until later.

And will get mad if you try get a bit defensive about it with him.

NSFW

- He has barely any self-control and ends up getting unintentionally excited really easily - even in situations where he really shouldn't be. If you as his partner are cuddling him, sitting in his lap, touching his neck, or god forbid the ports, he's gonna get hard so quickly it's not even funny.

Him being touch starved is really a double-edged sword because he wants to be near you, but also he gets unintentionally way too physically excited about it and ends up embarrassed asf most of the time.

- Kinda follow up point: I feel as if he's extremely repressed sexually in general. He works extremely long hours to maintain his control over everything single day, and considering his tendency to start zapping things when he gets closer to finishing / overwhelmed, he'd likely not be taking any chances at all with that.

So when he gets physically near his partner alone (and also not even alone), his body just kinda goes 'time to make up for lost time'. 💀

- Most sensitive erogenous zones on him (outside of his dick obviously) are his neck and ports. I'm not sure if him having ports for nipples is canon or not, but if it still is, those are the more sensitive ones. The ones on the back of his head are still an absolute killer, though.

If you kiss his neck even softly, he'll be tensing up, and if you're kissing him or cuddling him and gently brush up against the ports on the back of his head, or your chest brushes against his and brings him nipple stimulation - he's gonna be getting a boner as quick as it gets.

- He doesn't really care too much about his partner's height, but I get the vibe that he'd have a size difference thing and would love a partner who's smaller than him (but not tiny still)

It would trip his ego so much to be able to physically look down on people in general, but with a partner? He'd be going mildly insane about it but in a different way.

Wear his clothes, and they're massive on you? He's gonna be turned on as absolute hell by that. Especially if it's one of his button ups and its neckline is plunging and giving him an eyeful of your chest.

He can easily pick you up and pull you against him in whatever way? Goes absolutely nuts about it.

I love it when I try to go,'this will only be short', then my brainrot takes hold, and my ideas just keep flowing. 💀

Masterlist

[hyallulonelyhime]

Hyahime presents: That time when a jsk became an ironing board cover..

Today i'm sharing a classic from cgl many of you have definitely heard about: The ironing board fiasco. The story of a girl, her dad's fiance and many feels.

Everything started when OP shared this image and said the following:

Due to some unusual circumstances, I'm currently living in a partially-renovated house with my dad and his fiancé.

His fiancé is a very sweet lady who is very thrifty. She makes all her own clothes and and will usually find a practical use for something, rather than throw it out (i.e recycling old bottles and jars to pot plants).

I had a Baby The Stars Shine Bright Strawberry and Cherry Ruffle jumperskirt that I didn't wear anymore, so I was planning to sell it. From memory, it cost about $400.

I put it out in the main room next to a pile of clothes I planned to donate to Good Sammies, so I'd remember to take photos of it for the sale. I then went away for a week to visit my grandparents

When I came back, I noticed the pile of clothes had disappeared. Cool, my dad and/or his fiancé had donated them for me. But wait… Where was the jumperskirt?

It was then that I saw the sight portrayed in the uploaded. My dress had been cut up to to make an ironing board cover and a tablecloth. I don't know where the rest of the material is.

It appeared that my dad's fiancé had assumed the jumperskirt was part of the donation pile, and thought there was no harm in 'recycling' it for her own uses. In her efforts to pretty up the concrete-y wasteland of a house, she had unknowingly destroyed an expensive brand dress.

Literally the only thing I could do in that moment was stare blankly. I can't even be mad at her, she had no idea.

So now I have a BTSSB ironing board and table cloth.

the story immediately caught the attention of users as they scrolled. Some found it terrible, others couldn't help but laugh..

Though some were quick to say it must've been fake.

So.. did OP fake this for attention? Let's investigate.

It is very unlikely the fabric was gathered from a replica, judging by the print details and the fact that this isn't a very sought-after or popular piece you'd see everywhere.

But how did one dress result in so much fabric? Although it looks like a lot, one anon pointed this out:

But she knew she'd get the attention, right? ...yes, but I don't think anyone would come up with this specific odd way to recycle a lolita piece and make the community react.

OP responded to the questions and thoughts with the following:

At this point, some anons were pretty much just fighting over if it's okay for OP to be so calm or not. Which.. is a little bit weird. Others were more emotional about this than the victim themselves.

But what you may not know is.. there's more. There's more to the Kawaiironing fiasco.

Op comes back.

I queried the whereabouts of the remaining material and she showed me. She said my dad told her I was "throwing them out" (I have no idea where he drew that conclusion as i specifically said I was donating a bunch of clothes, so at the very least he should have assumed I was, you know, donating them), so she thought it was fine to cut up. My fault anyway, didn't separate the "sell" pile from the "donate" pile. HOWEVER… There were a few other brand dresses I was planning to sell. I assumed they had been donated with the rest of my clothes, as they were nowhere to be found. I was a little sad about that (they were valuable Angelic Pretty, BBSTB and Metamorphose), but oh well. Then I looked in her material bag and found they had also been cut up… When dad said I was "throwing THEM" out, he did not state a plural by accident… Pics to follow.

If anyone wants individual versions of those pics lemme know.

The loli gods frown upon me today for my unbecoming carelessness in handling burando.

Op decided to keep the truth a secret: ignorance is bliss, and her stepmother did not deserve to feel the guilt of ruining so much burando.. or to know that so many lolitas were in shambles knowing about her crafts.

..Although, anons said this wouldn't stop her from doing it again. Maybe she should know so she doesn't cut up even more dresses.

One thing is certain. that's a really cute ironing board cover. Maybe the fabric could become even more random burando stuff: headbows, little makeup bags, cup coasters, mats.. oven mitts?

Lolita home goods for all! we demand a cute life!(✧∀✧)/

[justtwotired]

Hello ! I hope you’re doing well. I was wondering if I could get an ask for Sam and Colby. Maybe reader (female or gn neutral pronouns are fine !) is invited to go with SnC exploring an abandoned place but she’s been struggling with body image (I’m kind of in the slumps rn :/) so she’s cut back on food. Through the trip they notice her lagging behind and getting tired easily. She ends up fainting due to exhaustion and lack of food and they take care of her when she comes to. Preferably Colby pairing and lots of angst ! Only if your comfortable writing about this thank you xx 🫶🏽

Why hello there, I am so sorry for posting this rather late, I wrote a part of it, then got busy and forgot about it and just finished and edited it, so hope it’s alright!

I really like this request! Mostly because I can really relate to reader, this is always chill because then I can write five that actually make sense ya know.

I did write some angst but not LOTS, because angst is one of those things I still find difficult to write, but I hope you still like it<3

“What’s up guys it’s Sam and Colby!” Colby started. “Today, we are at an abandoned manor in the woods right behind us. It is quite a walk, but I think we will survive!” Sam told the camera.

“Also, we brought someone with us,” Sam then pointed behind him where I stood rather awkwardly, wearing a huge hoody that I may or may not have stolen from Colby’s closet.

“This is Y/n, you guys know her of course, we had lots of questions to bring her back to the Chanel, so we did of course.” Sam explained before turning the camera fully on me.

I sucked in an unnoticeable sharp breath. Did I look alright? Was that pimple I hid under makeup this morning still invisible? Did the hoody hide my body enough?

“So, N/n, are you excited?” Sam asked and I gave the camera a genuine smile. “I am actually, this place is not too far from my home town and I’ve been wanting to go here for a while, but I didn’t want to go alone, so now I have these two idiots to come along.” I joked and Sam pointed the camera at Colby.

“Did you hear that, dude?” He said in fake sadness. “I thought you where coming with us?” Colby said also jokingly hurt. “I’m still stuck on the fact she called us idiots.” Sam said and pointed the camera at himself.

“Seems like we have to change the channel name to ‘Y/n only’ because she is taking over.” He said and I chuckled. “Oh yeah, definitely, and I’ll give them weekly uploads instead of your monthly shit.” I said and Colby grinned.

“What you’re going to the conjuring then? Staying a week there?” He asked and I pursed my lips. “Well I didn’t say that.”

The two laughed and Sam shut off the camera. “Heading to the forest, then?” He asked and we nodded. Suddenly my stomach made a growling noice and they stopped.

“We could get something to eat first?” Colby suggested and I shook my head. “Nahh, it’s fine, I’m not that hungry really,” I waved it off and kept walking.

“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s almost two in the afternoon,” Colby said and I just chuckled.

“I’m fine, really,” I smiled at him and kept walking, not missing the look the two of them exchanged before following me.

Truth to be told, the last time I ate would be the crackers from the day before, as I had just a bit in the afternoon after almost passing out.

Colby walked in the back, having taken over the camera from Sam and he recorded as we entered the forest.

I knew the walk would be about 20 minutes, so it wasn’t that bad, but I felt myself stress out when I became light headed.

Oh no, please, please not now.

Passing out has become normal now, the lack of food I’ve been consuming has been taking a toll on me. I never tell anyone, it’s my little secret, I didn’t need them to worry about me or feed me lies of how I was ‘beautiful’ because I know I’m not.

I stumbled and almost fell but steadied myself. “You alright there?” Sam turned around with a small grin and I gave him one back. “I’m fine,” I lied and we kept on walking, Cole shutting the camera off.

When the building came in sight he started it up again, and of course, as if fate had planned it, I fell and I noticed my consciousness slip away.

The last thing I felt was two arms around my waist and I was out.

I heard someone calling my name from afar and my eyes slowly opened.

“Oh, thank god, Sam! Sam she’s opened her eyes!” Colby called out. I slowly sat up. I was laying in the grass and I noticed Sam jogging over with his phone in his hands.

“Are you alright?” I looked at Colby who had a concerned look on his face and I nodded, trying to stand up but he put his hands on my shoulders.

“Woah, lets keep sitting down for a minute, love,” he said and I sat, rubbing my head. “How long was I out for?” I asked and Colby looked at his watch.

“Five minutes at least.” He told me. “Yeah, I tried calling for help, but there’s no service,” Sam said and I gave him a weirded out look.

“What help did you try to call?” I asked and he shrugged sheepishly. “Your mum, I thought maybe this had happened before,” he said and I sniffed.

“It happened a few times, but my mum doesn’t know, and don’t even think of telling her,” I said and the exchanged glances.

“You know what’s happening then?” Colby asked and I sighed. “I haven’t eaten in a moment, that’s probably it.” I confessed and Colby sighed.

“I told you that you should it this morning- when is the last time you ate?” He questioned. “Uhh, yesterday, some crackers,” I said and he clenched his teeth slightly.

“A decent meal,” he clarified and I bit my lip thinking back. “Tuesday, I think?” I said a bit uncertain. “That’s five days ago, Y/n!” He scolded and pursed my lips.

“Sorry,” I said in a small voice. Sam got his backpack of his shoulders and started to rummage trough it, pulling out an apple.

“Eat this,” he said and I took it from him, frowning at it a bit. “N/n,” he said and I sighed taking bite.

They made me sit for about ten minutes, and demanded I tell them why I wasn’t eating. With a bit of reluctance, I told them about how I felt, how I hated how I looked and that I felt like I was to fat.

The next twenty minutes where spent with them telling me all the things they liked about my look and my personality, giving me reasons to eat and demanding we go to a restaurant after this so I could eat a decent meal.

They also demanded I ate a desert, encouraging me to continue eating and not worry about my looks, because in their opinion, I looked beautiful.

At the end of the conversation, I had tears in my eyes, and I wiped them away, and I reassured them that it’d be fine to still film the video, as we all wanted to continue.

[echo-stimmingrose]

Jason: *getting dressed up for a date, looking absolutely horrendous*

Nico: No absolutely not! You have no fashion sense, I'm taking you shopping.

Thalia: Um no! You are not taking him shopping! We don't need him looking like you!

Nico: Like me??? I look like you!!!

Thalia: Exactly! We already have two emo kids, that's enough!

Percy: Plus he's a fucking nerd and could not pull that look off.

Jason: I'm right here!

Percy: Hush Jason, the adults are talking!

Jason: Adults?!? Nico is younger than me!

Nico: Okay, but am I?

Jason: I-I uh YES!!!

Nico: I have the back pain of a seventy year old man that says otherwise!

Thalia: Guys! Back to the point! Finding Jason something to wear that doesn't look like he's never dressed himself before. No offense.

Jason: Hey-!

Percy: Hush! We are trying to make sure you don't make a fool of yourself!

Jason: I hate it here.

Thalia: You're one to talk, Percy! I've literally never seen you in any thing other than jeans and a camp half blood shirt.

Nico: And it's always dirty.

Percy: At least I don't look like Hot Topic threw up on me!

Thalia: Don't you dare disrespect Hot Topic like that! You still own a CHB tee that's literally cut in half it's a crop top!

Percy: So? It still fits!

Nico: The sad part is he actually looks pretty good in a crop top.

Percy: Thank you!

Jason: Guys...?

Thalia: I could pull off a crop top way better than you!

Percy: You could not!

Jason: Guys.

Thalia: Wanna bet on that kelp man?

Jason: Guys!!!!

Nico, Thalia, and Percy: *Stops arguing and turns to him*

Jason: I still need help!

Thalia: Sorry bud, we'll find you something that looks good and something you like.

Jason: It's not just that.....

Nico: What?

Jason: I've never been on a date before... I don't know what to expect....

Thalia: Okay... Um....

Jason: What?

Thalia: Well...I mean, I've never been on a date either, I was a tree at twelve then a hunter of Artemis almost immediately after.

Jason:.... Nico.....?

Nico: I got nothing for you.

Thalia: Holy shit, does Percy have the most dating experience out of all of us???

Jason: That's just sad to be honest.

Percy: I will have you know, Annabeth and I are very happy thank you very much!

Nico: It took you guys what? Five years to admit you liked each other?

Percy: How's Will, Nico?

Nico: *glowering* Shut up.

Percy: Look Jason, we all know you two like each other and this date was a long time coming. It is easier said than done, but you need to relax, you don't want to go into a date acting like there's a stick up your ass.

Jason: Jee thanks.

Percy: I'm just saying, you already know that you enjoy spending time with him, this is just spending time with him with a little extra.

Jason: Thank you, I just don't like being unprepared.

Percy: Which makes sense.

Nico: But let's be honest here, this is a date with Leo, no one could prepare for whatever he may have in store.

Jason: *laughs a little* Yeah, it just feels stupid. I've fought in literal wars but I'm this nervous over a date?

Thalia: Hey don't call yourself stupid, this is new for you. You are allowed to be nervous as long as you don't let that anxiety take over.

Percy: Exactly. Plus a date is way different than the battlefield. Most of the time you aren't fighting for your life.

Nico: But you may want to bring a fire extinguisher for this one.

Thalia: It will go just fine. And if he fucks up I'll strike him with lighting.

Jason: Um... please don't.

Nico: And if you're worried about whether or not you both like each other just know you two made it so obvious even Percy figured it out.

Percy: What's that supposed to mean?

Nico: point proven.

Thalia: Plus you two admitted your feelings within a year of knowing each other so you're already doing better than these two idiots *points to Percy and Nico*

Jason: It does make me feel better knowing I'm doing better than Percy.

Percy: *smiling* Watch it, Grace, you're a couple words away from having that date underwater.

Jason: *laughs softly*

Thalia: *hugs him* you've got this bud, now come on let's go find you something other than whatever the hell it is you're wearing.

[bishopsbeloved]

the art of falling in love (part three)

natasha romanoff x fem reader

best friend!yelena belova, aroace!yelena belova, internalised homophobia, found family trope, coming of age, angst, fluff (eventual happy ending)

part one | part two | part three (3.7k words) | part four | part five | epilogue

read this fic on ao3!

But that awful feeling doesn’t go away… quite the contrary, it grows and grows. It’s a dark and hidden part of you, diseased, something you seek desperately to rid yourself of — but it only festers and worsens with the more time you spend with your love.

Yet being away from her is out of the question. The feeling only worsens whenever you’re away from her; an unbridled monster that dwells deep within the caverns of your chest, and bursts out at the most inopportune of moments. A tiny voice in the back of your head warns you that you’re turning into someone unrecognisable. You ignore it. Because you finally have the girl of your dreams, Natasha Romanoff, the one you’ve loved as long as you can remember.

“Whoever is this mystery girl you are dating, I do not like her,” Yelena says to you one day. It’s about a month now since  the catastrophic spring break party at Tony’s house, and five months since the New Year’s party which began this whole mess. The two of you have been tasked with slicing vegetables for Melina, who is bustling busily around the stove. When Yelena speaks you have to physically pause to process her words, for fear you may otherwise slice straight through your own flesh as if it were another carrot.

“Mystery girl?” says Melina interestedly. “I did not know there was a mystery girl. How did I miss this? Y/N, sweetheart, you have a mystery girl and you have not brought her home yet?”

You glare at Yelena, and she smiles sweetly back.

“Nothing serious, ma,” you say to Melina as levelly as you can before turn to Yelena. “What do you mean, you don’t like her?” you ask, resuming your vegetable cutting. You try to ignore the shake of your hands and the beat of your heart. “You don’t even know who she is.” You hope, anyway.

She shrugs nonchalantly, as if she were discussing the weather rather than the affairs of your heart. “I don’t have to, to not like how she makes you feel. You are so different now, I do not like it. You are all sad and quiet and far away.”

“No I’m not,” you say in a small voice, fighting to hold back a tremble. You can only imagine the words she’d be saying if she knew it was her sister she was talking about.

“Yes, see!” says Yelena triumphantly, like you’ve just proven her point. “I say one thing and you are about to cry. Before you would hit me and we would be done.”

“You should not waste time on anyone who doesn’t treat you right, my sweet heart,” says Melina more tactfully, setting down her wooden spoon to cup your face in her gentle weathered hands. “You deserve the world. Find someone who gives you it.”

Your eyes do well up after she says that, and you have to turn away and blink rapidly so that Yelena doesn’t give you one of her knowing looks. To her credit, if she sees, she doesn’t say anything.

But Melina’s words weigh heavy on you, even after the conversation moves on — as though they’ve placed a physical burden upon your shoulders. They echo in your mind as you excuse yourself from the conversation and trudge upstairs, past the door of the very one they’re unknowingly warning you of. They play on repeat even as you’re beckoned into the bedroom of your secret paramour, who tells you to lock the door behind you. She’s sat on her bed, watching a Bond movie on her laptop, mouthing along to every word like she usually does. 

“C’mere,” she says to you, patting the space between her legs. You obey wordlessly, sitting down between them with your back against her chest. Her arms wrap around you, tugging you closer, and her chin settles comfortably on your shoulder.

“Missed you,” she mumbles, sending shivers down your spine even as your troubled mind dwells on Mama Melina’s words.

You deserve the world, she repeats to you as Natasha begins to drop kisses along your neck, and you shift involuntarily in her lap. She groans and bucks up against you.

“You’re so pretty,” she murmurs against the skin of your collarbone, tugging at your shirt to trail her kisses lower. Natasha is your world, you think to yourself. And when she gives herself to you in moments like this, who are you to say it’s not enough? You remind yourself to be grateful every day that she sees fit to give you anything, to engage with you at all after she’s been so out of reach your entire life.

So as her kisses become lower and more insistent, you submit yourself to her completely, willing to do whatever pleases her. Because she is your world, and you would do anything for her — for better or for worse.

Unfortunately for you, though, Yelena does not seem to be the only one who’s noticed a shift in your behaviour.

Prom isn’t for another six or seven weeks, but already your classmates have begun the most over the top promposals you could think of, with each trying to outdo the last. It was only a few days ago that Bucky Barnes asked Steve Rogers to prom by writing “PROM?” on his back in sunscreen and then laying in the sun until the rest of him burnt. Rumour has it he tore off his shirt in front of their whole homeroom like some budget Superman knockoff. (Rumour also has it that Steve said yes. You’re not quite sure what to make of that.) (Well, at least you don’t have to worry about Bucky and Natasha anymore?) The halls are filled with hushed whispers of who might ask who next, and what methods they might choose to do so. And naturally, with Darcy being one of your closest friends, it is literally all you hear about when you are on the school premises.

…and Loki Laufeyson tells me Vision is thinking of asking you to prom, Wanda, Darcy signs triumphantly. You and your friend group are huddled around a table in the corner of the school library, supposedly studying, but with prom on the way that was never gonna happen. (The school librarian, Ms Harkness, is deathly serious about her no noise rules, but naturally as a friend group with a Deaf person in it that doesn’t really apply to you, so you often find yourselves in here.)

Since when were you on such good terms with Loki? asks Makkari with sceptically narrowed eyes.

Since the Stark party at Easter, comes Darcy’s confident reply. We did a science fair project together and now we’re totally friends. And they are very sure Vision has something planned.

I wouldn’t take it too seriously if it’s Loki telling you that, Wanda says dryly. They love to gossip. I don’t know Vision Stark, I’ve barely ever spoken to him. He kinda runs in the opposite way whenever he sees me.

He’s nervous, Darcy tells her knowingly. The guy’s scared of his own shadow, but he’s not too bad once he relaxes a bit. Give him a chance, I think you’d really like him. And also he apparently has neared a state of cardiac arrest several times trying to pluck up the courage to ask you out.

Wanda hums, and chews on her lip thoughtfully.

And you, Y/N, Darcy turns her gaze onto you now, you’ve had nothing going on for months. Have you got your eye on anyone?

Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth as you shake your head no. I’m content where I am now, you say, which isn’t really a lie. Because you are happy. Right?

Darcy only shrugs before turning to Yelena, who is sat next to you while she gazes out of the window, zoned out as she often is whenever talk turns to romance. You nudge her gently with your foot and she turns, blinking out of her daydream. “Hmm? What—?”

“Shhh,” you all remind her instantly, as Ms Harkness’s head snaps up from the paperwork she was just bent over at her desk.

Sorry, Yelena rectifies hastily. What’s up?

Prom, you inform her, biting back a laugh at the way her face comically drops into one that’s very unamused.

I know you and Bishop didn’t work out, but do you have anyone else who might ask you to prom?

You look over at your best friend anxiously. Yelena has not really come out to anyone, only casually mentioning her aromanticism over dinner, to which Melina and Alexi barely batted an eyelid. Darcy does not seem to be picking up on the hints, though.

If anyone asked me, I would say no , Yelena tells her bluntly . I don’t do that stuff. Me and Y/N go together. Right, Y/N?

With matching outfits, you add helpfully.

We are going to serve, Yelena agrees, and the two of you low-five.

You can tell Darcy has more questions, but before she can press either of you any further the bell rings, signalling the end of free period. The four of you get to your feet, piling belongings back into your bags, and Makkari follows your example once she sees what you’re doing.

You end up falling behind at the back of the group, with Wanda next to you. She’s looking at you curiously, as though she’s seeing right through you, and you fidget uncomfortably.

Are you sure you’re happy? she asks you. The question hits you like a punch to the gut. Because you have not seemed it, lately.

You nod and smile weakly at her, and to her credit she pushes no further, but much like Melina’s words it weighs heavy on your mind long after she’s forgotten about it. You are happy, aren’t you? You are. You are happy. You have the girl of your dreams, for fuck’s sake. Of course you’re happy.

And that’s true, for the most part. You’re happy when you’re with her — and when you can switch your brain off around her, instead of pining what more you could have. Because this is all you have. All you’ll ever have. And every day you wake up, fearing that this is the day she’ll end whatever is between you, and cast you aside like the doll she’s done playing with.

But you must not seem that happy to other people, because it’s only a few hours later that you are questioned yet again — this time by Sam Wilson, who it is considerably more difficult to be upset with.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” he calls down the hall as he spots you, awkwardly half-running to catch up with you. Last period has just ended, and you’re making your way to the science lab that you know Yelena just had a class in. You smile at him when you recognise him, and slow down until he matches your pace. Since that night he helped you out at the party the two of you have been talking a lot more, and you’ve found yourself really enjoying his company. You’ve never really been too good at making friends — if you didn’t have Yelena, your other half, you don’t know what you’d do — but things seem to come naturally with him. He’s very calming to be around, and he never makes you feel as though you’re supposed to be something that you’re not.

“What’s up, Wilson?” you greet him.

“I gotta bone to pick with you,” he says with half-hearted annoyance, even as he grins at you. You blink up at him in quiet confusion. “How come you stood me up yesterday night? You said you’d meet me out by the east block and you left me hangin’. We were supposed to go to Boulevard, remember?”

You groan and tilt your head back as you realise he’s right. The two of you have recently picked up a habit of hanging out at the arcade on the Boulevard after school for a couple nights a week. (He’s a beast at Donkey Kong, and you will never in your life be able to beat his high score, but you always manage to put up a good fight when you versus in Mortal Kombat.)

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly. “I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

“Are you sure?” he asks jokingly. “Cause you skipped out on the one before that too.”

“I’m really sorry,” you weakly offer. “I just…” Well, what the fuck kind of excuse are you supposed to offer? I’m sorry, my secret girlfriend slash love of my life will only spend time with me in private because she’s ashamed of me? “…I don’t know. I’ve kinda been all over the place lately. Sorry.”

“Yeah, no shit. What’s going on, man, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you say, and you’re horrified at the moment at that your voice trembles. “No, I’m good. Seriously. Just stressed for finals,” you try tentatively, and you’re relieved at the way he just nods sympathetically.

“Well if you need a distraction, I’m free tonight,” he offers hopefully. You instinctively open your mouth to deny him, but when you see the way he’s poised and ready to accept your inevitable denial you pause guiltily. Why are you saying no and standing him up if he’s your friend? Your alternate itinerary for tonight is sitting around annoying Yelena and hoping that Nat will want to spend time with you tonight. This sounds way more fun.

A distraction. A distraction from the feeling clawing at your insides, which won’t let you sleep at night until you get that goodnight text.

“A distraction sounds good,” you say, and he grins back at you. Only a moment later Yelena’s class comes flooding out of the science lab, and your beloved blonde Russian approaches you. You’re glad to see she’s recovering some of the usual bounce in her step, after last month’s mishap.

“Come on, Natasha is giving us a ride,” she tells you excitedly, offering Sam a brief nod.

“Actually, can you tell her make my own way home? Me and Sam are hitting the Boulevard.”

“Alright. But if you win enough tickets can you get me that stuffed otter they have in the window,” she asks hopefully, and beams when you nod. “You are the best. And don’t forget to call Ma if you won’t be home till late, or —”

“She’ll have a heart attack, I know,” you say patiently. “Love you.”

Natasha probably won’t even notice you’re gone. She won’t mind.

Famous last words.

Sam ends up dropping you home, and the two of you stop by a fast food place on your way, so you’re not home until ten. You stumble into the house with bleary eyes and a bug-eyed, oversized otter tucked under your arm, but a heart fuller than it’s been in a long while, and a smile on your face to match. That smile is quickly wiped off of your face as you turn around and lock eyes with Natasha, who is sat on the top of the stairs. She’s evidently waited up for you.

“Hi. Is Lena still up? I won this for her.” You hold up the otter lamely.

She shrugs, a gesture so small you nearly miss it in the half-light. “I don’t know.” Late at night when she’s tired, tinges of Russian begin to creep back into her otherwise perfectly ironed American accent — she always scowls and makes an effort to fix it whenever you point it out, but to you it’s adorable. It’s like an ever so slight glimpse into the real Natasha, the one who makes you heart-shaped pancakes and remembers the names of all your favourite movies. And in the months that are passing in your relationship you feel like you’re seeing that side to her less and less.

“Are you okay?” she asks quietly after a few moments. “Did you have a good time tonight?”

“Yeah?” you say uncertainly. This feels like a trap. “Y— uh, yeah, I did, thank you.” You swallow, hard, as a pit opens up in your stomach. “Are… are we okay?”

She hesitates. “Are you happy?”

“Huh?”

“With me. When you’re with me. Do you have fun like you did tonight?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice is small and quiet. “I— I don’t know what you want me to say.”

She’s silent. Like she doesn’t even know what she wants from you. Cautiously, gingerly, you speak again.

“I had fun tonight in a way that I can’t with you,” you say carefully. “You never want to spend time with me unless we’re alone. I don’t really know what we are, I know we’re not dating, but it feels… I don’t know.” You pause for a second, and your next words sound uncertain of themselves. “It feels like… you’re ashamed of me.”

The words are finally out of your mouth, at long last. For a moment it’s like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, but it comes crashing back town twice as heavy when you see the be way your words physically crush her.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” she whispers. “I’m not… I just…” And then she says something so quiet that even as you strain you can’t catch it. “Um. Don’t worry. I’ll see you in the morning.”

And while you do see her in the morning, nothing is the same. So you’re once again the bigger person in this relationship, the one taking care of her (and you’d do it forever, of course), and you give her exactly what you know she needs — some space, and some time. You’re not really sure what’s going through her head right now (you never are, to be honest), but what you do know is that she’d hate to feel smothered as she figures it out for herself. She’s more similar to her sister than she’d like to think. It’ll be okay, you tell yourself. You’ll give her what you know she needs, because sometimes you know her better than she knows herself, and trust that when she’s ready she’ll come to you.

But she doesn’t, and things are rocky between you and your love in the time that passes. Since the night you came home from the arcade, she’s been almost avoiding you. No more good morning or goodnight texts, no secret movie dates in her room, no more stargazing on the rooftop or late night drives. With every day that you wake up and meet her vacant gaze at the breakfast table you lose a little more hope. The end is nigh, you fear; the thing you’ve known all along, the fact that you were just a toy to her that she’ll dispose of when she’s bored, comes creeping back from the distant corner of your mind it was banished to, into the forefront — and you see it everywhere you go. In every tight-lipped look and sleepless night you pray for the end of this purgatory, whether that comes in the form of her embrace or her denial; anything but this wretched liminal space. This in-between where you don’t feel human to her.

Prom night rolls around. You and Yelena have indeed coordinated your outfits, just as planned, and the two of you are going together. (A slight and tiny part of you had hoped that maybe, somehow, Natasha would ask you to prom, and she would be your date. A much bigger part of you knew that would be her idea  of purgatory.)

The two of you are carpooling with your friend group to the school, where your prom will be, in a limo that you all pitched in for. Darcy and Jane Foster, Makkari and Druig, and Wanda and Vision are all already piled in when the limo rolls up in front of your house — the last stop before the night truly begins.

“Interesting choice of interior decor,” Yelena muses, taking in the limo’s pink velvet seats and rhinestone-studded handles with thoughtfully narrowed eyes.

“Darcy picked it,” says Wanda monotonously.

She said we had to go all out for prom, Makkari adds with an eyeroll. The two of them earn lighthearted smacks from the target of their teasing.

You aren’t really sure what you’re actually meant to do at prom. Even in the movies, they’re never really very specific about what prom actually entails.

“What do you think we’ll do?” you ask Yelena, as the two of you hand in your coats to the concierge (a member of the student council who looks very stressed).

She snorts. “Judge people’s outfits, get drunk, take photos and dance, I’d say. I guess some people will be hooking up, too.”

“We will,” adds Darcy with a shameless wink as she passes the two of you, being dragged along by Jane. Your cheeks flush slightly, while Yelena sighs in affectionate long-suffering.

“Any updates on your super-secret girlfriend?” Yelena asks, and the usual guilty feeling pricks at your gut. She, of course, hasn’t been told of the conflict, because you’ve told her as little as possible. You don’t trust yourself to not break down out of guilt otherwise.

You try your best to be optimistic at first, but Yelena’s very quickly proven right. As soon as everyone’s arrived you tick off your first scheduled item on the prom itinerary — judging them — and you move swiftly onto the second.

“This tastes like shit,” you grimace as you sip gingerly from the drink Yelena presents you with. She bursts out laughing.

Before long, you’re feeling pleasantly fuzzy, and perfectly willing to embarrass yourself in front of your classmates on the dancefloor — so when Sam Wilson comes up to you proposing that you dance, twitchy as anything and evidently nervous out of his mind, it doesn’t feel as significant to you as it does to him that you accept.

He kisses your cheek when the dance ends, and you flush violently. But when he offers you his arm you take it, and he’s led along to a quiet afterparty back at Wanda’s house. It’s okay, you tell yourself, to be having fun with someone else. Natasha’s shown no interest in you for more than a month. It’s not that you don’t love her, because you do, but you can’t exactly force her to spend time with you, can you? It can’t cause any harm to have some fun with your friends.

But only a little down the road a certain redhead has shut herself in her room, and begins to ask herself why she’s behaved the way that she has.

[probably-writing-x]

Curtains Closed

Summary:

Warnings: Heartbreaking angst I’m so sorry, cursing but I think that’s everything

Author’s Note: I am so sorry this is so sad fhskghs but i loved writing this request !! Please send me any more that you may be thinking of and I’ll do my best

The set is bustling by the time you get there, crew and cast dotted around everywhere all preparing to film and refilm scenes. This was the first time that you’d been able to make the visit, and yet Drew had been filming here for at least a month. It was a new film he was working on, but with you filming recently too, it felt like your paths just weren’t crossing.

“Hey (Y/N)!” One of the assistants smiles when she sees you, “His trailer is just over there.”

You thank her and turn in the direction of Drew’s trailer, where his character’s name is printed on a sheet of paper in the window. You knock and wait, almost nervously, for the door to open. You always felt nervous when you went weeks without seeing him properly, even a year into your relationship, that hadn’t changed.

It takes a few seconds before he comes to the door, swinging it open exaggeratively. His hair is messy and his top splashed with patches of water, a grin on his face.

“Hey baby!” Drew grins, though the moment stops quickly when he’s shot at with another spray of water, “You bitch!”

Your heart feels like it sinks for just a second, enough for you to notice. He hadn’t thought to kiss you when he saw you, not even reach out and wrap you in his arms.

“Sorry, sorry, come in,” He encourages, stepping out of the way for you to step through.

In the trailer, he’s joined by his costar, who you knew was called Emily. She was a beautiful girl, being a model before she’d become an actress, and she played his love interest in the film.

“Hey, you must be (Y/N) right?” Emily grins, holding a water gun in her hand that is still pointed at Drew.

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you Emily.”

She doesn’t respond to you, instead squealing as Drew shoots her back, spraying her hair on either side of her face.

“So, how’s filming going?” You ask, sitting on the sofa across from Emily.

When Drew sits down, he takes the seat next to her.

“It’s good,” Drew nods, “We finished pretty early today, always easy doing scenes with Emily, you know?”

“Yeah, of course,” Emily grins, “We’re like a dream team on set.”

Your words seem to fail you, and you’re not sure why your chest feels so tight. This was stupid, right? They worked together, they were friends, it was good that Drew was working with someone that he got on well with. But that’s how it was when you two first got together, and part of you felt a sinking feeling that your instincts hadn’t failed you here.

“So where were you thinking of going tonight?” Drew asks, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table between the two couches.

You swallow the lump in your throat to respond but Emily cuts in quickly.

“Ooh why don’t you go to that Thai place we went to?” She suggests, and you’re sure that she has shuffled closer to Drew on the sofa.

“Yeah, we could do, it was so good,” Drew nods, “Me and Em went last week, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much in my life.”

The lump is back in your throat, “Yeah, sure, whatever you fancy.”

~~~

That night, you and Drew decided to order food in instead of going out, after you’d told him that you didn’t feel well. He’d eaten three slices of your pizza when you told him that you couldn’t finish it. And he had believed you when you told him there was nothing else that was wrong.

You were both in the kitchen now, washing up the plates you’d used for your food.

“So, Emily seems nice,” You nod, dragging the kitchen towel over your plate.

“Yeah, she’s great, right?” Drew smiles, “We just have such a laugh on set, genuinely I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much.”

You felt like you could cry in that moment, not just from that comment but from the way his eyes seemed so bright when he spoke about her, the way you felt like his eyes hadn’t been on yours as much as normal.

He hands you the last plate and shakes his hands off into the water, taking one side of the towel in your hands to dry his off.

“Hey,” He takes it out of your hands and sets it down, wrapping his arms around your waist, “It’s good to properly see you again.”

You force yourself to smile, setting a hand on his chest.

“I mean it, I feel like we’ve both been way too busy recently,” He nods, “It’s good for us to have days like this.”

You still can’t force your body to bring out any words, just looking at the boy in front of you like you’d never seen him before.

“Hey?” Drew dips his tall figure down to try and catch your eyes, “This is good, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” You smile and he kisses your cheek, releasing his arms from around you.

Your heart feels heavy and empty all at once, your mind running a thousand thoughts and thinking of nothing at all. When he walks off to disappear into the lounge, you feel like a part of you disappears with him.

~~~

That night, you both get ready for bed like you normally do. You brush your teeth together and he goes into the bedroom whilst you’re washing your face. It’s all the routine that you’re used to, and when you shut off the ensuite light, he’s already sat propped up against the headboard, scrolling through his phone. You’re still wearing one of his tops to bed, another piece of normality that it felt comforting to keep.

“Drew, can I ask you something?” You ask cautiously, hovering by the side of the bed like you’re worried about getting in.

“Sure, what is it?” He shuts off his phone screen and puts it on the bedside table.

“Do you think things are still the same between us when we don’t see each other as much? You know, like when we’re both so busy?”

You watch the way his face drops a little, “What are you talking about?”

“I mean… we’ve just both been so busy recently.”

“Yeah, and we make it work,” He continues, “We still text, we call, and it’s only been a few weeks, we’ve done worse.”

You drag a hand through your hair, pulling out one of the tangles to distract yourself, “I don’t-“

“What is this (Y/N)?” He shakes his head, “Is there something you need to tell me?”

“I just,” You take a deep breath, if you don’t say it now you never will, “I saw you with Emily today and I-“

“This is about Emily?” He sits up straighter, “Are you kidding?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you two went to dinner together?”

His words fail him and it’s like you can see the confidence crumble just a little, “I don’t-“

“Is it because you knew that it would look weird? For you two to just be going out together?” You continue, a new sense of confidence fuelling your words, “If you didn’t think it was weird, you would’ve told me. We talk everyday Drew. What excuse did you come out with?Or did you just hope that I wouldn’t ask?”

“I just told you I was going out with the cast, it was last Friday,” He admits, as if he’s just been caught in the act completely.

Your heart sinks, “So you lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie to you, I mean, it wasn’t like that,” He scrambles, standing up now so that both of you were on either side of the bed now, too much and too little space between you all at once, “I just knew how you’d think it looked, and we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks, and you were busy with work, and I just didn’t want you to worry.”

“So I’m busy working, and you’re out on dates with a girl I hadn’t even met before?!”

“No, no, no, don’t be like that!” He seems more aggressive now, “It wasn’t a fucking date, okay? We’re friends.”

“Friends? Because she’s just so funny, and you’re fighting in your trailer, and you’re sat next to her, and you’re doing everything with her?”

“I’m sat next to her?” He half-laughs, “So you’re noting down where I sit now?”

“But it’s not just that, is it, Drew? I haven’t seen you in weeks and you didn’t even care! It could’ve been anyone walking through the door and you’d have had the same reaction! It’s like I was fucking interrupting!” You are waving your arms around as you speak, the way Drew knew you only did when you were getting angrier.

“You weren’t fucking interrupting,” He shakes his head, “But if you don’t trust me in that then maybe this is more of an issue than just Emily. What else, (Y/N)?”

You look at him there, his features darkened by the lack of light in your bedroom. He’s more toned than ever for this role, the muscles of his abs dipping in and out of his stomach and casting small shadows over his torso, his arms larger and his shoulders broader. If you looked for long enough, it felt like he was completely different. But his eyes were still yours, in the way they creased when you made him laugh, and the way his dimples hooked either side of his lips when he saw you happy. But this time it felt tainted, your mind overloading with thoughts of him giving the same eyes, the same smile, the same dimples to her.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Drew,” You whisper the words, uncertain of how they’ll sit in the air between you.

“What does that mean?” He shakes his head, the fury in him settling down into worry.

You’re silent, complete silence between the two of you.

“Let’s just go to bed, okay? We’re just tired,” Drew states, convincing himself along with you, “We’re not thinking straight, this isn’t us. Let’s just go to sleep, and we’ll wake up, and we’ll be fine, okay?”

You don’t reply.

“I’m sorry for raising my voice, okay?”

“Okay,” You croak out, your eyes threatening to spill unforgiving tears.

He takes a deep breath and gets back into bed, pulling down the sheets on your side. You follow suit, climbing in beside him and pulling the sheets high up over you as if a shield from the argument that still lingered in the air. Drew dips an arm beneath your back and pulls you into him, another piece of normality he seemed reluctant to give up. His body is warm but it feels too warm beneath your skin, burning into you just a little. His chest rises and falls but it’s not in the same rhythm, his heart slowing down as yours still felt like it was racing.

Eventually, you’re sure that he has fallen asleep, and you stay awake for far too much time after, your eyes staring at the closed curtains on the other side of the room, willing for the light to come through.

~~~

The following morning, you’re awake before he is, though you’re sure that you hadn’t had more than a couple of hours sleep the night before.

It’s cold in the apartment, like an air of the inevitable had settled over everything that the two of you had. When Drew wakes up, you’re sat with your feet and knees tucked up to you on the sofa, your hands around yourself.

“Morning,” He says, his voice still sleepy and thick, joggers hanging low on his hips, forcing the V-line of his torso to poke out.

You look up and offer him a small smile, the biggest that your lack of energy can muster.

“Did you sleep okay?”

He regrets the question almost as soon as it is said, as if he’d just asked you the worst thing possible in the moment. Instead, he walks over the short distance to you and sits down, close to you on the sofa like he wants to draw you into him.

“Listen, (Y/N),” He begins, “I know things aren’t ideal. We’re both busy, we’re working in different places, different hours, and it’s not going to end any time soon. But we can make this work, okay? We can change things. I’m going to tell you everything, I’m not going to lie to you, I’ll make sure I have more days off and I can come and visit you, and we can facetime more instead of just calling,” He pauses to take a breath, “We can fight for this (Y/N).”

“I don’t know how much longer I can just keep fighting, Drew,” Your voice is croaky, threatening to break.

“But this is us, baby, we can’t lose this,” He sits himself closer to you, though avoiding contact like he is afraid you’ll shatter in front of his eyes.

“Drew, listen,” You let yourself breathe for a moment, “This has worked for us, it has. We’ve always made it work. But, right now, it doesn’t feel like that anymore. We’re in different places, and this time it was only weeks, next time it might be a couple of months. You’ll go on press for the film, I’ll be here. I don’t know how much we can keep doing that.”

“We can try, can’t we?”

“I’ve never seen you with anyone and felt the way I did yesterday, I saw you with Emily and I felt like a completely different person, like I was this jealous and overthinking version of myself, and I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to see you after weeks and just argue with you,” You’re speaking through tears that you are fighting back, “This isn’t us, you said it last night. But if we stay together now, this is what we’re going to be, and I don’t want you to be someone I end up hating.”

Drew’s silent, staring at you like he’s hoping he’ll wake up from a nightmare.

“So I think we need to break up,” You choke through the words, though they feel cold as they leave your lips.

“(Y/N) please,” He whispers, tears spilling over his eyelashes.

“I can’t fight for this anymore Drew,” You shake your head and your tears fall too now, staining your cheeks as they do.

He moves forward and grips your hands, pulling them into the middle of his larger palms and bringing them to his lips. You drop your head forward and press your forehead to his. His tears drop down and mix with yours over your tangle of hands, neither of you wanting to move as if moving would solidify what had just been finalised already.

“I’m never not going to love you, (Y/N).”

You nod against his chest, “Then you’ll go, and I’ll stay, and we’ll find our way back.”

(((Adding a normal people reference so that you don’t all hate me for breaking your hearts xoxo)))

[savannahsdeath]

THE LOOP ENDING

knight!ellie x princess!reader

read the first chapter; here

warnings: mentions of forced marriage, readers mom is a really bad person, nightmare, blood, death of an animal, public execution, runaway.. lmk if i missed anything !!

writers note: ellie is so silly i want to keep her in my pocket .

you woke up with a gasp, sitting up and propping yourself on your weak, shaking arms without even realizing it. you felt an uncomfortably slippery texture under your hands - your pillow soaked with sweat and tears which you unconsciously shed during your dream nightmare. and though sweat usually connects with heat, your trembling body was the complete opposite - you felt like a cube of ice, even with the covers hugging you.

and yet, there was some sort of a warm sensation that calmed you down.

"i'm here, your highness." a voice whispered, and you started to realize you're not alone.

indeed, the mattress was slightly dented on your left side, as if someone's weight pressed it down. you rubbed your eyes and catched your breath, tilting your head to face ellie.

you let out a dry sob and wrapped your hands around her, making sure your embrace isn't leaky, and she won't somehow slip out between your arms. you were sure it wasn't a hallucination as you felt her firm hands on the back of your head.

"another nightmare, huh?" she smiled against your neck, but you could guess how concerned she really was. "what did your mother do this time?"

you sighed but forced a weak smile on your own, tired face. "you have no idea." you shook your head, nuzzling your face in her shoulder.

"this woman is going to be the death of me." she chuckled and you noticed how raspy her voice was. she probably didn't sleep at all, knowing what awaits her— what awaits you both this night.

and you— you just broke down crying at her words. she was so right and she didn't even realize it.

no matter how bad you felt in this right moment, you had to do something. you couldn't wait.

"what time is it?" you asked, but you got cut off by some of your sudden sobs and sniffles.

"a good few hours passed since we came back from the garden. four, maybe five." she shrugged, stroking your hair.

so you were in the backyard with her. you watched the stars together and you— you shared a kiss. the rest of the week was just a dream. how is it possible?

"ellie..." you wiped your tears away, your sadness disappearing and getting replaced by confusion. "do you know anyone named luccy?"

"luccy?" her hand, which caressed your head, suddenly stopped in it's track. "how do you know about her?"

you let go of her, pulling away so you could see her worried expression. "she was in my dream." you explained. "she helped us."

us. because even if she tried to save ellie, she also relieved you. you'll never forget what the letter said, "my friend took care of me". somewhere, in the worst, most brutal universe, luccy was the savior for both of you.

"well, what was your dream about?" she murmured, nervously clearing her throat. she seemed to know it wasn't anything good, and the fact her friend was in it made it feel so real, so... prophetic.

"i—" you parted your mouth, but your voice slowly drifted off. you wondered when did it start. when did everything go downhill...

you figured out it may be your reckless ranting on the weddings day.

"it's one of the knights." you really weren't controlling the words coming out of your mouth and that could only mean one thing - problems. "ellie."

right, it must be it. what were you even thinking?

after a second you realized ellie would live if she didn't interrupt the ceremony. that's when it really happened.

but then again, maybe she'd survive if she picked a different hiding? maybe just luccy's house wasn't safe?

you got lost in the options. everything could lead to this tragedy. every little mistake. at this point, you didn't have any choices. only one thing could stop this — making sure the wedding won't happen at all. as long as you were married, you couldn't achieve a happy ending. it was simply not possible.

when you came to your senses, with a light jolt of your whole body, ellie's hands were resting on your shoulders.

"i'm sorry—" you mumbled. "i was... thinking."

a ray of sunlight was shining through the blinds, irritating your sleepy eyes. your knight leaned in, covering it and making you disappear in the darkness again. her hands cupped your chin and her thumb traced your bottom lip.

"something's wrong, isn't it?" she sighed, knitting her eyebrows together.

"yes." you lightly nodded, not wanting your movement to cause in her comforting touch leaving your face. "i won't let anything happen to you."

she chuckled, pressing her lips to your forehead for a few long seconds. "i'll be fine."

she's won't. not if everything comes out as in your nightmare. and you knew how easy it was to fail - everything can lead to an unstoppable situation. you got a second chance, you could fix everything. you won't get stuck in this miserable loop.

"no—" you shook your head, weakly repeating; "no, no... we should pack our things and—"

"and what, your highness?" she smiled, as if she didn't take you seriously, but you knew that's not true. she knows she's in danger. she has to know, she has to realize that. "we have nowhere to go."

you pulled away from her and fell on the bed, making it look like you were throwing a tantrum, what had some truth in it. you really were mad, not angry, but a little mad... how could she be so unfazed? did she not understand?

and then again, she was right. you wouldn't survive in the forest, probably not even in your poor town. you were really independent, as for a princess, but you were too used to living in luxury. only one thing came to your mind, and somehow, it made sense. "we have luccy on our side."

her pearly whites disappeared under her chapped lips, though the corners of her mouth were still slightly upwards. "what about her?"

you whined with a shrug, rolling on your side to not face her. "forget it."

"no, wait, tell me." she pleaded, laying down beside you. "i'm sorry, your highness. i w— won't laugh, 'promise." she raised her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, making her embarrassment obvious. your trust and respect was the most important thing in her life, not counting your love. the love that made you change your mind and open up to her, even if she'd shrug it off.

"maybe she knows a place..." you started but gave up midway. you truly didn't know what to say - you didn't have a plan, not even a single idea. the little bulb in your head was off and won't turn on, no matter how hard you'll focus. "i— i don't know, 'm sorry..." you rolled over to face her, even though you usually didn't want to let her see your embarrased state.

"well," she smiled, tugging a loose strand of your messy hair behind your ear, while her free hand rested between her head and one of the pillows. "i know a place."

your eyes flashed with curiosity, widening and brightening, reflecting some sort of light that wasn't even there, in your dark room. "you do?" you propped yourself on your elbow, parting your lips in focus.

"well, not personally..." she chuckled, looking away and fidgeting with her fingers. "i heard that— you know, in town— they have a map of neighboring cities. they often travel to trade things and..." you sat up, looking down at her with an expression that signaled your surprise. "i can try to talk with someone—"

you cut her off by leaning in and pressing a peck on her lips. "you're amazing, ellie." you stood up and started rummaging through your closet, after you pulled out an old leather suitcase from under the bed.

she trailed after you, though stopped at the edge of the bed. "what are you doing?" she frowned, pouting her lips in a way that made your mind squeal.

"packing." you spun around, making a show by throwing each neatly folded piece of clothing with exaggerated grace. "you should too!"

she got up and stared at your moves with crossed arms, what could feel judging matched with her slightly mocking pout. she nodded, as if it was obvious. "so you just want to leave like— right now?"

you dropped a dress you were holding on the floor and walked over to her, putting your hands on her shoulders. "yeah?" you shrugged, not sure what is making her so... confused. "it's now or never."

"now or never..." she repeated, still inclining her head up and down before stopping with a loud click of her tongue. "of course." she slowly walked backwards, towards the door. "you're crazy, you know that?" she laughed and for a split second you thought she's heading to the exit because she wants to leave - leave and tell everyone about your plan so someone would stop you. "let's meet in the garden as soon as you finish."

you let out a deep breath you didn't even know you've been holding. she winked and disappeared behind the scratched piece of wood you couldn't really call door anymore. you slammed it with force inappropriate for an innocent princess too many times.

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

"how did you know there would be a hole here?" you pointed at a spot in the wall which lacked dozens of bricks, creating an empty circle enough for you to fit through.

"oh, sweetie..." she nonchalantly smiled, and you couldn't help but freeze at the nickname. it was definitely the first time she called you something else than 'your highness' or 'my princess'. "do you think it's my first time stealing a horse?"

"why would you steal a horse?" you pushed your bag into the hole, kicking it forwards with your leg to make room for yourself.

"well, not steal, i only borrowed them." she put her hand between the bricks and your head, protecting you from bumping into them if you'd accidentally raise your chin. "sometimes, when your mother pisses me off— nothing's better than some fresh air."

you hummed, crawling to the other side of the grey wall. you straightened up, wiping your dirty hands in your dress and jumping in excitement. "come on, ellie! i'm waiting!"

soon enough her package appeared next to you, reminding you of your own, so you picked it up with a loud, sharp huff. you swore that it weighs more than you and your knight (in full armor on!) together.

"let me take it." she extended her hand towards you, curling her fingers in a 'come on' gesture. you didn't see her coming, so you budged, what made you drop your suitcase. you raised it, this time holding back a gasp, and shook your head. "so stubborn." ellie murmured with a smirk.

"i— ugh— 'm not stubborn. i'm just— uh, strong." you whined, persistently dragging your bag with you.

"my strong princess." she taunted, lifting and withdrawing her own package like a weight. you rolled your eyes but you admired how easy it was for her - your strong knight. "we'll see how long you can last."

"oh— 's so mean." you huffed again, causing in some loose strands of your hair flying upwards.

you walked along the wall, letting ellie stay a few steps behind, as you searched for the back door of the stable.

the plan wasn't complicated. you couldn't just take your horses and leave - not before the sunrise. not only the guards won't let you, but they'd also tell your mother about your suspicious behavior. she'll immediately figure your plans out. so, you had to come in through the second entrance - the one from the forest's side. then, you'll just take your horse - without making much noise and... go wherever you want. you'll be free and in such a simple way. easy. too easy.

"ellie?" you started, seeing massive wooden door a few meters ahead. you waited for her curious 'yeah?' before continuing; "how are we going to get inside?" you let her laugh for a few seconds, but she didn't gave you any answer even after her burst out finished. "so, how?"

"do you think they guard it?" she asked, running four steps forward to catch up with you.

"they don't?" you knitted your eyebrows together. "but that's dangerous!"

she shrugged, though her nonchalant smile clearly communicated; 'i know something you don't'.

after a few minutes and ellie's messing with the padlock, you safely got inside the stable. you ran up to your white, well-kept horse - pearl - forgetting about the burdensome weigh of your package, which quickly stopped being your problem. your suitcase quickly got on pearl's back, just like you, though you had to hold it the whole time. ellie's animal was the opposite of yours. in appearance -  it was a chocolate shade of brown with a few lighter, as white as pearl spots, but also personality. whoever doubted that horses have personality could be easily proven wrong - when yours was a total princess (though it was easy to make her cross some boundaries), ellie's was way too confident and energetic.

you left the stable— or, well, pearl did it for you, and impatiently waited for ellie as she closed the door after you. on her way back to shimmer - her horse - she patted pearl and jokingly tugged on your leg, what almost made you kick her straight on her nose. yet she just laughed, and you did too. you had reasons to be happy.

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

ellie helped you get off pearl before beginning to tie both animals to a nearby fence. "could you call luccy?" she asked with a loving smile.

"i don't know, ellie, i don't know her—" you explained, nervously stuttering and scratching the back of your neck.

you were scared of this moment. you were about to meet the person who tried to save ellie, a person who's actions could be so important in your story. could be, but you teared out a few pages and decided to overwrite them. you didn't know what genre will your book be, not yet, but you knew luccy will be in it. and she'll be a good character, even if she'd only appear in one chapter.

"nothing to be scared of." ellie reassured you, finishing her job and walking up to you. she put her hand on your lower back, slightly pushing you forward and, before you could protest, she knocked on the door for you.

you waited a few seconds, not too long but enough to let you know that she was doing something before you interrupted her. she was a tall, skinny woman with blonde, shoulder-length hair. her big blue eyes were squinted, signaling her defect of vision. she looked messy but, you had to admit, pretty.

she mumbled something you couldn't quite understand, maybe just a bunch of nonsense, and pulled you in for a hug. after a moment of hesitation, you wrapped your hands around her too, carefully listening to her rambling.

"come in, girls." she pulled away and stepped aside, making room for both of you. the way she acted around you carried a friendly tension - something that you never felt with any other stranger.

"we won't bother you for too long." ellie smiled, wrapping her arm around your waist to make sure you won't get lost. well, there was no way you'd get lost in this little cottage, maybe ellie was overprotective, or maybe needed an excuse to be close to you.

"oh, i hope so!" luccy laughed, closing the door with a loud creak which hurt your ears and made you wince. "my mother is sick. i have a lot things to do, really." her gaze wandered, staring into all the obstacles on the floor with a sigh. the area was... messy, to say nicely. "but i'm glad to finally meet you." she looked at you and you instinctively looked around to see if there's anyone behind you. after realizing she really means you, you honored her with a smile and nod. "ellie told me a lot about you."

for a second, you almost said something similar, before realizing ellie never mentioned luccy. you first met her in your dream, if you can even call it a 'meeting'.

and, obviously, 'we won't bother you for too long' turned into hours.

ellie asked her for a favor, a big and dangerous one. you didn't plan it with her beforehand, she surprised both of you. and the way she said it... so unfazed, so unbothered. "we know that gossips spread fast here so— i thought you could start a rumour that you saw the queen ordering someone to kill us." faking death was smart and making your mother responsible for it was even better but, jesus, why would she ask for that without consulting it with you? your own mother trying to kill you.

when you finally left, the sun was close to setting, but at least you had the map. it was an old, damp piece of paper with weird lines on it.

"this square is the castle." you remembered luccy tapping a purple shape, before tracing her fingers along a red line to a green triangle. "here's... our friendly neighbours. they shouldn't know you're the—... princess. i advise you to settle down here."

you tried to reconstruct the route, but it seemed way more complicated now. you knew where's the castle, but where's your current location? you passed the map to ellie and got on pearl with an annoyed huff.

"are you still mad for the rumour plan?" ellie asked in a hopeful, innocent and pleading voice.

"no—" you smacked your lips. "well, yes, that too."

her expression turned serious, but soft, and her voice had an understanding undertone to it. "you'll thank me once we'll live our life, free and happy."

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

and you did. you thanked her everyday, you showed her how grateful you are all the time, in every way possible.

you quickly got accepted to the town's community. your silver coins were enough to buy a small cottage with some space for your horses outside. dina - a girl your age who was always there to help - said the previous owners died, by some disease unknown to you, related to animals. you still had a lot of change, so you kept it in a jar above your new desk. everything was new, so new and unusual. you had a lot to learn - how to hunt, and cook your prey, sow and harvest your seeds... but you could gladly admit you were doing just fine.

not long after you settled, you found barely breathing pearl in the backyard. her perfectly white skin was interrupted by a blurred, dark red spot. there was an arrow stuck in her leg, close to stomach, and you had no idea for how long she suffered before you found her. the whole morning? night?

"i'm sorry." ellie leaned down, pressing her head to pearl's stomach next to you. "i'll find out who did that and i promise—" you cut her off with a shake of your head and a weak 'no'. you hoped it was a mistake, a one-off situation. you hoped you won't have to take any action. ellie sighed, standing up after patting pearl's body. "i'll get dina, okay?" she asked, and you weren't sure if she's talking to you or to your poor horse, so you only hummed in response.

"we could save her, it's just a little arrow—" you persistently pleaded, but you were met with nothing more than disappointed sighs.

"a wounded horse is useless." dina shrugged, and no matter how much you wanted to disagree, you knew you have to trust her.

and that's how your best friend, because that's how you liked to refer to pearl, even if it's just an animal, turned into a few gold coins from the town's butcher.

ellie liked to pretend it doesn't bother her, really.

"things like that are normal here" or "we have to get used to... that" and finally "it's not a big deal, you know, not anymore".

yet, she checked on shimmer every hour. one day, when you were trembling from fear as she didn't come home after sunset, you found her asleep in the backyard with her own friend. you couldn't wake her up, not when she looked so calm and innocent, with her lips parted and deep, loud breathing. you sat next to her, eventually drifting off to sleep too.

you had a dream, first one since moving out of the castle. it was a reminder of the new start, not only yours, but of all the residents. revolution.

it was about an event, which happened a few months before. about two weeks after you crossed out your royal past, luccy visited you to tell you about the success of ellie's plan. when you got to town - on still well and safe pearl - you found an empty hill with a view on the gallows. it looked just like in your nightmare, though except your loved one, your mother was the one standing there with a noose around her neck. one of the men, which you also saw in your dream before, shouted out loud all the bad things the convicted did, and you felt relieved that her death sentence isn't only caused by you. it turned out she broke her own law more times than you could imagine.

"...ordering the murder of her own daughter, our only princess..." you heard him reading out loud, almost yelling, and much to your surprise he didn't mention ellie.

you couldn't help but compare this situation to your love's penalty - no one said what she did wrong. your mother was determined to make her die, and she did, not even bothering to make up some reasons. but it was just a nightmare, and now, you were glad everyone will know how horrible the queen really is.

"i— miss this place." you pointed at your surroundings and the small castle you used to live in, far, far, far away. "i wish i could let them know i'm safe." you looked at the people mourning you, knowing it's the end of your lineage. you were in line to the throne, and now... who will live in your castle? you couldn't come back, though. in their minds, you were dead. they weren't completely wrong - a part of you really died. an useless part, which you didn't need anyway. "but then they'll all realise my mother is innocent."

"oh, hey now!—" ellie chuckled, like she always did during serious talks about your mother. "just because she didn't kill us doesn't mean she's innocent."

for a moment, your mind wandered to how she treated the service. how she treated everyone, unless they were other royals and she needed something from them - like the prince. oh, how nice she was to him.

the list of her faults was long, much longer than just the mention of your death. you nodded and with that thought, proudly watched your mother die.

✧˖°

[saturnsbabyboii]

💚Astro Observations my friend and I came up with while high💚 (Also Cause it’s 420)

💚I find that Moon signs don’t necessarily fit into their “descriptions” because it’s not who they are per se but rather what they desire when they’re feeling vulnerable and emotional. 

💚 For example, Capricorn Moons aren’t cold, distant and always practical, however, they do desire a more action based kind of support. Rumination and “talking about it” won’t cut it if they don’t have an action plan or something solid (or someone that they considered to be as such) to guide them. 

💚 Another example, Leo Moons aren’t attention seeking but rather they desire to feel seen and heard. They want someone that can understand what they have a hard time expressing, something very troubling for a Leo. They also find themselves able to be more open with people that are authentic about how they feel and their expression, be it verbal or artistic. 

💚 Despite people calling them flighty, Air placements are usually logical and based in reality. They may exaggerate or get too excited but they never pull shit out of vapor or believe it “just because”. Debating them is not for the weak. Not because they’re strongheaded (not always) but because they know what they’re talking about.

💚Earth placements are great liars, cause no one ever suspects them. A good liar is never known as such, hell they make a good living out of it. (Not calling people snakes or fake just that they don’t do something half assed, including the art of deception)

💚 Why couldn’t Cancers be called Lunarians or Lunars? No offense but who in the f thought it was a good idea to call the crab constellation Cancer? The amount of embarrassing cross over that happen means that we require to take action.

❣️Side bar but shout out to everyone that is going through or went through any form of cancer, whether it was you or a loved or anyone that you know. We love and support you, and your resilience is an inspiration and a testament to what’s important in life.❣️ ⠀

💚 The obsession that Aquarius placements have with cyberpunk/cyber core/Dystopian/Apocalyptia/Futuristic aesthetic is wild. They can’t wait until the world end so they can rock that fashion on the dumpster runway.

💚 I honestly associate cats with Virgos not Leos.

💚What’s with Mars in Fire signs/Fire houses (1st/5th/9th) and throwing things. It doesn’t matter if they’re excited, happy, angry or sad they just go ┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ) then (┛ಠ_ಠ)┛彡┻━┻

💚 Although Scorpios go hard to defend themselves, Taurus would cut a bitch for their love ones. They don’t give a damn what you say about them but you’ll be getting more than what you bargained for when they start swinging out of nowhere after you bring up anyone they love. Especially when it comes to their animals and babies. 

💚 Out of all the Venus signs, I never heard someone talk about liking a Libra Venus. 

💚 Air Mars natives waiting for you to finish talking before they slaughter your ass is amazing to me

💚 Water signs are true foodies. Foodier than Earth signs even. Water in the 6th house especially can eat a whole cow, or tree if you’re vegan.   

💚 The power of the eyebrow raise that Fire Mercuries make when they know that you got the right one. 

💚 Because time is subjective I believe the 12th house can give us insight on our relationship with it. As a finite part of life, in the house final endings the sign over the house (and the placements as well) can help navigate it. 

💚 For example, Virgo in the 12th may catastrophize and worry about things that are out of their control, such as time, and spend so much of their energy trying to do so. Their growth and ascension into a higher state of mind comes in finding power in learning to separate what we can control and what we can’t, and letting life go as intended without much intervention.

💚 For me, the whole point of learning about astrology is to break your own cycle and to grow out of your birth chart rather than conform to it.

💚Libra placements get so tenacious with age. As they get older, they realize that being in the better graces of others is futile work.

That’s all. I think I might’ve had more but I can’t remember everything we talked about 😅. 

Byeee!

[devilfic]

Saw the previous Matt Murdock post and I can’t help but think of him as college professor dynamic???!

LIKE HOW WOULD HE BE?

❝criminal law professor!matt murdock❞

cw: law school professor matt being everyone's wet dream, brief mention of alcohol, brief suggestive content. words: 1.3k.

AHHHHHHH criminal law professor!matt who never set out to teach but got invited to a lecture held by an old lawyer friend of his and built up such good rapport with the students that when one of them came up to him after class and told him they'd sign up for any class he'd teach, the cogs started turning

only teaches one class a semester, probably one class a year

one of those professors that almost everybody wants to get in with but is prone to several dropouts after the first two weeks because of his teaching style

he's very casual most of the time but very much hands-on and will not let up on you for a second if he thinks it's a teaching moment

he's relentless. he is not an easy A but you will come out of his class better than you went in

his favorite part of the job is getting into ethical debates with the students

likes to do a lot of mock trials and very regularly stick his students with cases that test their moral judgment

it's not to make them feel bad or play at having the higher moral ground if they make a "wrong" decision, but more so to force them to consider what they're willing to compromise on to win a case

and whether winning cases is the best thing for them or for their client

he's the type of professor who will gladly stay an hour or two after class just chatting it up with students over cases he's done in the past or answering questions about practicing law professionally

he grades hard but he always offers ample feedback to make his students do better next time

has a saying that he'll never turn down a coffee from a student trying to butter him up

and immediately follows up with "it won't make me change your grade but it will help me remember your name"

this motherfucker definitely likes to sit on the edge of his desk while teaching, too

undoes his tie a bit when he gets passionate about a topic, rolls up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, has to stop himself from pacing the room without his walking stick when he feels particularly excited about a discussion

does not care about late work like at all

as long as you get it to him before the end of the semester, you'll be fine

you'll be panicking, emailing him about how you're so sorry but your laptop got stolen on your way home and that you'll have to rewrite your entire paper from scratch in the school lab tonight so it'll be a day late and you'll get a response back in 4 minutes that just says "No problem, stay safe - Sent from my iPhone"

and... your laptop is mysteriously returned a few days later. apparently whoever stole it had a serious change of heart. you also got a 98 on your paper

(he may not be swayed to change your grade with coffee but he is a bit of a softie when it comes to stuff like this)

he's also just the hottest professor on campus. do I even have to say it at this point

comes to class everyday in a nice button-up, very form-fitting trousers (none of his students have ever seen him in a pair of jeans nor will they), glasses perched on the tip of his nose, a leather messenger bag at his side that is mysteriously well-stocked with first aid supplies, and a loose red tie around his throat

do you see the vision

cancels class often because of daredevil business and treats these as days to work on papers

tries not to cut class short because of daredevil business

it actually makes him a bit sad when he has to, and so he makes it an open invitation that if students catch him out in the wild or walking around campus, they can bother him as much as they want

his TA is a little (a lot) exasperated with him but he makes up for it by buying them food. it has actually put a dent in his budget at this point but their appeasement makes it worth it

he has an office on campus but he very rarely uses it for office hours, you can pretty much find him anywhere BUT his office

he likes to meet in coffee shops or lecture halls or parks on campus because he feels like it's less daunting for students to just sit and talk out in the open

he's very popular on valentine's day

students and faculty alike will shower him with chocolates and mini bottles of wine and roses and proposals to go out for drinks sometime and he always accepts the gifts graciously

and then passes them onto his TA, karen, or foggy

although he'd be lying if he said he didn't keep some of the wine for himself

he has a strict rule against dating within the university, he'd just rather it not be awkward

now,,, a one night stand with a fellow professor maybe? no strings attached? he's not opposed to that

let's just say that tie and office are getting put to good use-

if you're a student and want a piece though, you're gonna have to wait until you've gotten your degree, sorry

he happens to like his one class a semester/year and he'd very much not like to deal with the legal repercussions of getting caught with a student. repercussions of which he is well-versed in

but alright. I mentioned that he sometimes has to cancel class because of daredevil business and so I MUST tackle the big question: does anyone suspect him

yes and no

it starts out simple. sometimes he shows up to lectures with cuts and bruises, some bandaged but fresh, and swears that it's nothing to worry about. you might catch him wearing the rare sweater on those days, even

when he gets questioned about it, he sort of spins some half-baked lie about boxing being his part-time hobby

and then people start noticing that he's never around when there's a daredevil sighting

now, he doesn't always cancel class for daredevil business. sometimes it's because he's got a client to take care of!

but he also loves to invite his students to sit in on the less serious cases so. what gives

one student starts a rumor and then it kind of becomes a joke in class that professor murdock is secretly daredevil

most of them don't take it seriously because how could their sweet, chill, blind professor murdock be a crime-fighting vigilante? it just wouldn't make sense!

and you know what this bitch does? he feeds into it

student: yeah, professor murdock is daredevil. that's a good one

matt: what do you mean?

student: oh, it's just a joke! we know you couldn't be daredevil

matt: but I am

student: hahaha that's funny

matt: no, I really am daredevil. haven't you noticed? same build, never in the same place at the same time, devilishly handsome

student: uh-huh, sure thing professor

matt: is it cause I'm blind? that's pretty insensitive, don't you think? you don't think blind people just read braille all day and get walked across the street, do you? is that what you think?

student: well I mean no but like... I mean.... uh....

matt: nahhh I'm just fucking with you. I am daredevil, though

student: hahaha for sure man, definitely

matt:

he does fly too close to the sun one day though when one of his students tries to debate him in class about it for shits and giggles and accidentally comes up with such a compelling argument for why he could definitely be daredevil that he sort of just nervously laughs and stops making jokes about it for the next four weeks

also keeps a flask in his desk drawer to pour into his mug after a rough night on patrol. but if anyone asks, no the fuck he didn't. mind your business. you have a C in his class

taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @theclassicvinyldragon @marina-and-the-memes

[roturo]

Hey there, I just found your blog and hope u have great day! May I request Gojo x small boobie reader since yk.. 🥲 u can add comfort if u want or not its up to u though 🤷‍♀️ i guess hes a canon tit guy due to his wallpaper was Waka Inoue but still i wonder how he'd react to his partner. Stay hydrated and take care of urself 🙏

SMALL BOOBS? NO PROBLEM!

warnings: smut, angst, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, fingering, dacryphilia, whimpering, insecure reader, p in v sex, praising, nipple biting, biting words: 1k.

A/N: is this me crying bc of one of my insecurities?, no, that's not me.

The first time you saw his wallpaper on his phone, it kinda broke your heart. You didn’t understand why of all the girls he has met, he chose you.

A man as handsome as him could easily get a girl with a big chest. So when he asked to be your boyfriend you thought he would just play with you.

The both of you already had sex some other times ago without making anything official. 

So when he planned to become your boyfriend he noticed your demeanor turning quieter, almost like you’re scared of something happening.

He tried to ask what’s wrong but you would always say anything is fine and give him a kiss to make him forget about that.

Which worked really well, until you became distant, not totally, but him watching you not wanting to be part of his go outs with friends, or not even going out with him, it caused him to be insecure of this relationship.

And he started noticing you covering up more of your body with clothes bigger than you. He didn’t like that. He loved your body.

So when things started to heat up one day and you said you weren't in the mood he finally broke down.

‘Baby what's wrong? You’ve been so different these days, am I doing something wrong? Did you find someone else?’ His voice sounded like it was about to break, never in his life he felt so vulnerable, the fear of losing you was eating him alive.

‘Please tell me what’s wrong,’ He cupped your cheeks with his hands, tears forming in your eyes, he looked at you, ‘I’ll fix it baby, please.’ His face changed from fear to sadness when he watched you break crying. Without a word he hugged you, keeping the comfortable silence in the room, ‘I’m sorry ‘toru…’ he pulled apart from your brace and looked at you confused. ‘What do you mean?..’ Your hiccups trying to remain your cries broke his heart. ‘I-im not the type of girl you want.’ It’s like his heart was cut into a thousand pieces when you said those words, ‘What? You’re totally the girl I want, why do you think that?’ He cupped your face again, 

‘Y-your  wallpaper.’ You made a gesture pointing his phone with your chin, your gaze immediately looking away from Gojo. ‘What’s wrong with my wallpaper?’ His brows furrowed, moving his body to grab his phone from the nightstand and then showing it to you.

It was a picture of the both of you. You are hugging him, face hidden on his chest while he smiles from teeth to teeth, eyes scrunching and hugging you back like his life depended on it. 

The background was full of trees, you remember it was the day he asked you to be your boyfriend. On the right side of the picture there’s a heart with your initials next to it.

Tears formed again in your eyes, turning his phone to search for anything related to his favorite actress, you saw his clear phone case with a polaroid he took of you one day the both of you went for a walk. You were eating an ice-cream, probably laughing at something Gojo said.

You looked so pretty.

You broke down crying again, feeling guilty. You explained to your boyfriend why you were acting like these and the insecurities you had, making you hide your body from yourself and him.  

He broke down crying too, he immediately hugged you, thinking what he did for you to make you think that down of him. ‘I’m so sorry baby, before we were together I was scared to use a picture of us since maybe you felt uncomfortable, my eyes belong to you, I don’t care if you have small breasts, you’re the most precious thing in my life. Every part of your body was made for me and it’s perfect that way, you don’t have to hide it from me.’ He connected his lips with yours, making you leave an unexpected moan.

His kisses started marking your neck and continuing what you were up to before. Í’m going to show you how much I love you baby.’ His hands traveled down your body and got under your shirt. Pinching your right nipple with his thumb and index finger, making you whine at the sudden action. ‘I’m so sorry princess, i’m so sorry for not telling you everyday how perfect you are,’

He undressed the both of you while giving you quick pecks which made the both of you giggle, his kisses on your neck went to your chest and he inserted one of your nipples inside his mouth. You moaned, while his free hand played with your other nipple, ‘So perfect f’me’

His free hand slandered through your body until it met your wet lips and started playing with your clit, teasing your hole, making you moan. His mouth switched to the other nipple, inserting his middle finger while he rubs your clit with his thumb. ‘My pretty girl, mine and only mine.’

You whined at the sudden lost sensation of his fingers inside of you, but that whine turned into a silent moan when he inserted his cock inside of you. ‘so ready and wet f’me. This pussy is mine. Your body is so beautiful my love.’ 

His thrusts were slow but hard, every thrust followed by a praise after it. Sloppy kisses between the both of you, and him just exploring your body with his hands like he didn’t do it a million of times before. But this time it was appreciating it, leaving his touch for you to remember how much he loves you no matter what.

‘Cum baby, mph-’ His words were interrupted with a whimper when he felt your hole clench at his words, ‘Let’s cum at the same time.’ His rhythim suddenly changed into a quicker pse but still hard thrusts. Whimpers felt out of his mouth, tears also forming on his eyes, all you could do was moan and say his name like a prayer.

‘A-Ah! So pretty… so perfect.’ The last thrust sent a sudden electric shock between the both of you, all you could see was white, legs shaking, he groaned in your shoulder before biting on it. His cock strips of cum coming out and filling you up.

‘I love you baby, never forget that.’

[autistichalsin]

So @dorky-malorky left a really good reply on this post I made earlier, and it was so good I had to reply- BUT my reply got way too long, so I'm making a new post. I'm going to quote their reply, and then add my own under.

So true, besties. As someone who was bullied pretty mercilessly all through grade school and right up until graduation, I see a lot of that same mask in Halsin. He puts up with so much and it's not because he's a sage wise old druid, it's because he has unresolved trauma!!! Man basically says Thaniel was his only friend growing up and that's why he became a druid. Imagine making a friend as a little kid and then finding out that no one else knows of him or can even see him. To all those people Thaniel may as well have been an imaginary playmate to a sad lonely boy. Then he grows up and loses pretty much everyone he cares about. He's cut off from Thaniel, he's cut off from his peers, and he puts so much of the blame on himself for that. Then he's thrust into a position of leadership where he, again, struggles to make connections. Sure some people at the grove are like 'sure wish Halsin was here' but then they all just go along with Khaga and the Rite of Thorns anyways instead of doing anything about it and they basically write him off as lost. In my view, Halsin has just been swallowing grief and disappointment his whole life and has been putting on the brave face because that's what people expect from him. Don't make waves, just keep on keeping on. Even with Tav and the tadpole crew he will keep swallowing that same shit beyond what a normal person would put up with because Halsin just wants to belong. He will take scraps if that's all he can get, and be thankful for it, when what he deserves is to be at the table with everyone else. And the heartbreaking thing is just how deeply he cares despite everything he's gone through. He could be bitter and angry like Astarion, but instead he suppresses and buries the hurt way down deep, and just keeps going, holding onto a hope that the future will be a better place. :(

And here is my response:

ALL OF THIS. There is a REASON so much of the fandom has independently come to the conclusion that Halsin is both autistic and a victim of bullying- realize it or not, the writers just put too many tell-tale behaviors in.

Your part about taking scraps just hits the nail on the head. He takes whatever the player gives, and he is still so damn nice- if he loses all of his approval towards the player (which is quite a feat since rescuing Thaniel and breaking the curse gets you 40-50 depending on choices made) he may be snippy in his greetings and in his point-n-click lines which are currently bugged, but he still never actually... really does anything about it.

And that he's able to still care after all of this- even setting aside headcanons, this is still a man who had few to no friends growing up, has been othered for his size and treated like his feelings don't matter, has lost everyone he loved, was made a sex slave for three years to one of the cruelest groups out there, with said slavery including seeing the bodies of other elves like him made into decorations, was forced to fight a huge battle and then faced a curse that killed so many friends of his that it would "take [him] a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends [he] lost" AND he had to kill the reanimated corpse of the previous Archdruid, a man he speaks admiringly of every time he mentions him, leaving him with survivor's guilt and pretty obvious PTSD, AND it took away his best/possibly only friend from childhood, he was forced into a leadership role he never wanted and in fact was actively miserable in, stressed to the point that he started thinking fondly of his past as a sex slave (with the implication being he romanticized it because he wanted not to have to be responsible for such hard decisions anymore) and with not a single soul to confide in who might tell him these thoughts weren't healthy, he spent years begging for help breaking the curse but even the Emerald Enclave was basically like "yeah you're on your own buddy", he fell into what was strongly implied to be alcoholism and had to swear it off entirely, his attempt to jump at the first chance he saw in 100 years to break the curse resulted in him being held captive again and tortured- by goblins, which got him mocked later- while his Grove was infiltrated, psyoped (seriously, too many people don't seem to know that Ketheric orchestrated the Shadow Druids infiltrating the Grove because he knew what a threat they/Halsin would be and wanted it neutralized) and turned against him by Kagha, requiring him to send in a new Archdruid while he left to try to solve the mindflayer crisis- and almost immediately discovering she was a better leader than he EVER was, which I'm sure left him with a feeling of not just inadequacy as he alluded to in his scenes, but also with a feeling he'd wasted all those 100 years trying to lead if he could have just handed it off to someone better all along, then after he finally breaks the curse that has been plaguing his homeland for 100 years he goes into the city, is promptly gut-punched with how much people, especially children, are suffering there, tries everything short of screaming to get people's attention that this is NOT OKAY and is promptly brushed off and dismissed at every turn, then finally goes to fight a Nether Brain to save the world, which he admits he had little faith he would survive- but he put on a brave face for the player (especially if romanced). And that's literally just the main canon path, not including things that can be done to him in darker branches, like his Grove being slaughtered and his attempt to avenge them all failing, or the Rite of Thorns succeeding and him losing his home forever, or him getting kidnapped by Orin, or, once that new update goes into place, him having casual sex with his friend/love interest (depending on the circumstances) and some prostitutes, opening up about his time as a sex slave, and then being promptly threatened to be sold back into slavery by the person he trusted. No, this stuff is literally just the main, good canon path.

I know people tend to say Halsin clearly worked through his traumas in a healthy way offscreen (this line gets used most with his time as a sex slave) but the lack of support system Halsin has, his inability to center his own needs, even to himself, for a single minute, his desperation to be validated for just a single moment, his idolization of the player if they break the curse even if they subsequently treat him badly, his emotions being so turbulent that he alludes to being unable to control his wildshape on two different occasions with both specifically being linked to turbulent emotions (one being intense arousal and excitement, the other being anger and fear when escaping the goblin camp at the player's side), all of which is incredibly unusual for any Druid let alone an Archdruid hailed as one of the most powerful around... none of this really?? points to that being true???

He doesn't act like he is a wise, zen old Druid, he acts like he's trying to be a wise, zen old Druid, and there is a huge difference.

[why-what-no]

💕 My Valentine 💕

Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None, Idiots in love

Notes: Damn, didn’t think I’d get this done by the time Valentine’s Day ended. But I did, which is awesome

Summary: Lockwood told his team that he will ask out the girl he likes on Valentine’s Day, making his best friend realize that she’s in love with him. But while she thinks her heart is now broken, she may come to find that he feels the same as her

Valentine’s Day never brought many strong emotions to (Y/N). It was a holiday, one but she acknowledged but never really celebrated. Romance had never really been a part of her life, too caught up in ghost hunting to notice, she it didn’t really matter.

Until this year, when waking up on Valentine’s Day brought her nothing but misery.

She had been living at 35 Portland row for half a year now, officially at home in their old agency. Her fellow agents were practically family, and she loved each and every one of them dearly.

But there was one in particular that…

Lockwood and (Y/N) had hit it off almost the moment they met. It was like they clicked perfectly into place. He quickly became her best friend, rarely seen without her.

It got to the point where nearly everyone they met thought they were a couple. His arm slung over her chair casually when they were eating out, faces almost touching when they were pouring over a book researching together, more inside jokes than Lucy and George could keep up with. So it wasn’t surprising when they got the occasional “So how long have you been together.” or “You’re such a lovely young couple.”

The two would always correct whoever said those things, brushing it off with a laugh. They always said that they were just friends.

Just.

Friends.

That was all.

And it was all they were.

Until the day before Valentine’s Day, where they were all eating lunch and George brought up Valentines. Lucy told them that she had asked out a girl who worked at Fitte’s, while George talked about having a movie night with a fellow researcher.

But what had shocked all of them was when Lockwood causally mentioned that he planned to ask a girl he liked out on Valentine’s Day.

“Wait, what?” (Y/N) asked, mouth agape. She knew she should be happy for him, but… “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Lockwood looked nervous for a second before composing himself. “Slipped my mind.” He told her. “Honestly it didn’t even seem that important.”

“I…” She was honestly offended that he had forgot to tell her. She told him everything, even the most menial things. But did he not do the same? Was she just realizing this? And he always acted like he cared about the non important things she told him. But did he even really?

George looked back and forth at them before cutting in. “Well, good luck on that, mate. She’s a lucky girl.”

Lucy was looking at (Y/N) with… well, if (Y/N) didn’t know any better, she’d say it was pity.

That night she lay in bed, trying to figure out why this news made her want to cry so badly.

Obviously, she knew that Lockwood wouldn’t completely abandon her and their friendship for some girl. He was better than that. And if he really liked this girl, then obviously she would make him happy. And (Y/N) also wanted him to be happy. So logically she should support it. Logically…

Logically…

And then the realization hit her. Making her feel like an idiot.

All that time denying any feelings for Lockwood, saying that they were just friends. She wasn’t just sad that he hadn’t told her that he was asking a girl out, she was sad that it wasn’t her. She was sad that she couldn’t spend Valentine’s Day with him. Hand in hand, certain that the man she adored the most loved her.

Her feelings for him were strong than she had thought.

***

So Valentine’s Day morning, she woke up to the feelings of love and heartbreak all at once and for the first time in her life. Not the ideal start to the morning, and the thought of facing Lockwood now terrified her.

Although (Y/N) was too embarrassed to admit it, her main plan for the day was avoid him. She convinced herself that it wasn’t out of cowardice, but kindness. Lockwood already had a girl that he was interested in. He didn’t need her falling over herself for him. (Y/N) wanted to let him be happy away from her.

Self sacrifice had always been in her nature, just as it was for Lockwood. Although for both of them as well, self sacrifice was usually a cover for self destruction.

So she barely spoke to him over breakfast, choosing to sit between Lucy and George instead of take her usual place beside Lockwood.

Honestly, it surprised all her friends, but they chose not to speak up about it.

After breakfast, she got up to go to the library but Lockwood stopped her in the hall. “Hey, (Y/N).” He sounded nervous, breathless like he had just been out for a run, even though she knew he had done nothing of the sort. “I have something I need to ask you.”

That terrified (Y/N), thousands of terrible possibilities in her head. Plus, being this close to him was making her head spin. “Um, I’m busy right now.” She blurted out. “Ask me later.”

He seemed disappointed. “But…”

She used the moment to make a quick getaway. Ashamedly hiding in her room all day. Not wanting to face him, to think of him spending the day with another girl.

Until finally, she couldn’t take it any more. Disgusted with herself for running away and tired of lying to herself and to Lockwood, she stood up. Reaching for her door and opening it, only to reveal that Lockwood was on the other side.

His hand was up as if he was about to knock on the door, as shocked as she was about her sudden appearance as she was for his.

Their confusion both worked past their fear, because they blurted out what they wanted to say at the exact same time.

“Please don’t go out with her today.”

“Will you go out with me today?”

(Y/N) and Lockwood both froze, trying to process what the other one had said.

“What?”

“I…”

“What did you say?”

Perhaps the holiday wasn’t going to be so awful after all?

Lockwood took a deep breath. “I realize that this might not be the most romantic way to ask.” He chuckled apologetically. “But will you be my Valentine?”

“But… me? I thought… you said you were going to ask some girl?” (Y/N) could barely understand what was happening.

Chuckling at her obliviousness and confusion, Lockwood stepped closer. Beginning to regain his usual confidence. “It’s you, love. It’s only ever been you.”

As she began to smile, he continued. “I finally understood it a couple of weeks ago after I realized how happy I felt when people mistook us for a couple. Knew I wanted it to be real.”

(Y/N) nodded slowly, not totally certain that this wasn’t a dream. As if she had been ghost locked without knowing and was in whatever the comatose version of heaven was. “I want that too.” She softly told him, making him grin.

And while his grin was soft and small, he was inwardly delighted. Mentally wiping sweat from his brow at the relief he felt.

He always thought (Y/N) deserved the best in love, far better than him. He couldn’t believe that she would even give him the time of day, much less accept his proclamation of love. But she was there in front of him, staring up at his with these eyes filled with love and it almost made him want to weep with joy.

He felt whole.

***

When they got home right before dark, grinning from their date and hands linked together, George and Lucy let out noises of celebration when they saw them.

“Finally!” Lucy exclaimed. “You fools finally realized what the rest of us had known from the start.”

“Ha ha ha.” Lockwood shook his head indulgently. “If that is the case, then that begs the question: why didn’t you just tell us if you’re so bloody perceptive?”

“We did! You pigheaded stubborn idiots wouldn’t listen.”

“Yeah. And that’s not even the real question.” George spoke up, looking directly at Lucy. “The real question is who wins our bet.”

“What?”

“George and I had a bet.” Lucy explained, trying to hide a smirk. “If you of you asked the other out before Valentine’s Day, he got 20 quid. If you two did it after Valentine’s Day, I did.”

“But we didn’t think he would ask you out ON Valentine’s Day.” George grumbled. “Which was admittedly an oversight.”

“I say I win.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, hold on…!”

As the two of them playfully argued in front of (Y/N) and Lockwood, she look the chance to look up at her love. “I think it means that we win.” She whispered to him.

“Oh, absolutely.” He laughed quietly, looking at her softly. Leaning down to give her a gentle Valentine’s Day kiss.

[skyeslittlecorner]

can you post some photos on chapter five? ive been struggling to get to it and im impatient if ykwim 😭😭

Don't worry anon, I got you covered! Let's break this chapter for three parts - one for story and for one for both H-scenes. There are a lot of things to look forward to~

Warning: HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. In fact, I'll try to shorten the whole thing and focus on plot-relevant facts, so for those who want to go through chapter 5 on their own, come back when you're done! (Or just skip to h-scene, they are marked.)

Ch5 - STORY

First, I would like to warn that my opinion about it may be unpopular. As someone who hadn't paid much attention to Hades before, I fell in love with it after this episode. I adore ch5. A lot of people hate these boys to the core for what they did, and I understand and respect their opinion, but I'm with Hades here. I would love to analyze their behavior in more detail, but we don't have time for that today.

Summarizing this chapter is going to be hard because a lot of things happened. Let's go!

We start by going down a slide sponsored by Leviathan and his Lovecraftian friends (TM). But worry not! It seems we have friends even in the realm of death. Say hello to grandpa!

We talk a little, being in a questionable mood. Well, who wouldn't be? But we have the opportunity to know Solomon better, and I'm getting to understand why all devils love him. By the way, it turns out that we are his last descendant.

Sorry Solomon, you're still a peepaw.

He also advises us not to be afraid of Leviathan and not to be submissive to him, and then in a brilliant way he sends us back to the world of the living. Of course, our beautiful king is delighted.

We take Grandpa's advice to heart and finally stand up to Levi. He's surprised, but he doesn't try to kill us again (for now). We witness him hanging one of his subjects, who dared to ask about an accident from 311 years ago.

Fun fact. Devils must have much stronger spines. Do you know how people used to die by hanging? The first methods involved cutting off oxygen, but later they involved into breaking the cervical spine and this was considered a standard hanging execution. Leviathan must be gentle (how bad it sounds in this context), he could kill instantly with a loop like that.

Back to the point. We find out that we also have a noose around our neck, and Leviathan makes use of it. We're hanging, but we finally begin to meet Leviathan's nobles one by one.

Glasyal plots (and ends up hanging for it), Foras argues with him, along the way we learn that Leviathan needs us in his plan, and, you know, maybe killing us isn't the smartest thing he can do. Only Barbatos realizes that maybe it's a good idea to stop hanging us like wet laundry. He's the only one so openly nice to us.

Remember that.

Another fun fact, our MC is of medium height (~160 cm I guess). Leviathan is 187cm, Foras should be similar. I only noticed this because I myself am 180 cm so they are not so strappingly tall for me.

Foras wants to take us away from Levi and explain everything calmly, but the king does not agree. We learn that the guys know where the seed from the Tree of Knowledge is. We're supposed to go with them, and we have about a 50/50 chance of survival. Also, we have the opportunity to see a very rare phenomenon, a joking Leviathan.

Sweetie.

Colossally shortening the rest, the cavalry arrives! You didn't have to. I haven't had time to fuck them yet.

And this cavalry is very much at odds with the nobles of Hades. Most of the time is them arguing. Fortunately, they didn't kill each other…

...because Barbie decided to kill us.

Barbatos is poisoning us to force Bimet and Valefor to join the plan. While we are unconscious, we have flashes of Leviathan's past, which is too sad to analyze considering that we are about to jump to hot scenes now. Besides, most of us already know what this is about. Experience it for yourself. Really. We also learn that not only angels experimented on children, and a little about Mammon's childhood.

In the end, we learn that in Ch6 we must visit the abandoned laboratory in Tartaros, where the seed from the tree of knowledge should be, because as Solomon's descendants, we may be the only ones who will not be killed by it.

Ch5 - VALEFOR H-SCENE

(I really wanted to post CG from Valefor's scene here, but I don't know if Tumblr will block it.)

TIME FOR DESSERT!

Bimet is the first to realize that we lack devil energy. He wants to take care of it, but Valefor brushes him off, sends him to scout, and overall Bimet is our wingman, what a bro lol

Since we are away from Satan and Gehenna, we cannot summon Minhyeok's room. MC thinks she's outgrown it anyway. So we can count on the next scenes to be more and more creative.

It all starts with us telling Valefor that he reminds us of Mammon. And what a beast it brings out of him.

And he loves it.

...aaand then, someone wants to interrupt. Bimet informs us about this and goes to chase them out. Valefor stands with us at the door to see if anyone else is coming. Yes. Naked. With us. In us.

Fortunately, no one catches us and after the entire session we fall asleep in our knight's arms.

I really would like to do more screenshots, but tumblr is blocked… and there's one more part to come.

Ch5 - LEVIATHAN H-SCENE

At least you look beautiful and the platform won't block you.

And here's what I love the most. It was sick. I'd love to experience it again.

I would love to make a whole post ONLY about this and just leave the screenshots.

We are in Leviathan's office, and he interrogates us when we feel like we are lacking devil energy. We want to go to Bimet, but do you think our jealous king will allow it? Oh no no no. And of course, his hands land on our chin and then our neck. He doesn't like our hickeys.

We start asking him valid questions like "why are you jealous of us if you hate us?" So he silences us with a kiss. A deep, suffocating kiss. This is also how Leviathan discovers that we gain their energy through "intercourse with the devil".

And how can I not fall in love with this idiot.

The conversation that follows gives us some light on his approach to sex and to relationships in general. Which is… sad. It fits him perfectly, but it's sad. And I would also like to analyze this someday, this character is beautiful and how he's written is even more beautiful, especially from writer's point of view. He does not want the admiration of his people or the hatred of angels. The only thing he can believe and consider to be sincere is that someone's dislike. This is something that might actually turn him on.

At first he rules, he asks questions and he hangs us. And he does everything he can to piss us off. He hands us a whip and lowers us down.

Just disliking him isn't enough, and he works diligently to make us hate him. He insults Minhyeok, us, wishes us dead, and the more he sees our anger, the more he gets excited and talks more. He knows that we are connected to Satan and we will know how to release our anger. On him.

He finally got what he wanted. We straddle him and, with the help of Satan's strength, begin to strangle him. Neither you nor he are gentle.

Also, his words (unfortunately, I already have a limit on screenshots). "Do not bite your lips. Bite mine instead." I beg, let me violate him even more.

Compliment from Leviathan, nice. In the end, we fall asleep cuddled up to him, and he has no intention of giving us up to anyone. As in the case of Sitri, he only opens up to us when we are so unconscious that we do not see his softer side.

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

AND THATS ALL! What a ride it was, I hope I was a good guide. One day I will go into the Hades boys in more depth, but for now, let this be a shortcut for everyone who is still struggling with ch5.