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#ranntics#this week cannot keep going like this. I will not make it to the weekend if it keeps being this bad.#was at the end of my fucking rope at work after setting the lunch plates out for the kids. went to start getting the cots ready for nap time#and my coteacher was like ''oh can you get the cups and milk for the kids? I'm sorry I just hate it I'll just do the cots''#which. like. yeah fine whatever.#but then she was like ''omg are you mad do you hate omg you're pissed I'm so sorry please don't hate me''#and I kept saying ''I'm not mad. please just do the cots. I'm not mad. just put the cots out. I'm fine.''#and SHE WOULDN'T STOP. LIKE. GIRL. SHUT UPPPPPP#she's in her early 40s and has 3 children#and I was finally like ''hey. I'm not mad I'm just stressed. I just need a minute. just give me a minute''#and she said ''ohhh okay'' and then continued to talk to me about how much she hates doing the milk#bc it's sooo hard to remember which kid get which cup etc.#like. fine. it's not hard. especially if you actually do it. twice a day. every day. but whatever. it's fine#I ended up having to call for a bathroom break and I just went out to the back door by the cafeteria loading dock#and just stood there for like 10 minutes#before going back and getting back into my Not Mad At You persona 😃#I was fine after nap time but I was literally shaking with stress and rage even after coming back inside
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vanilla - c.s.
requested: yes!!
synopsis: after a lengthy relationship, chris decides to try and surprise you on your 7 month anniversary. it doesn’t go how he planned, and he feels bad.
warnings: SMUT OH MY FUCK. just very aggressive (no major abuse or violence), degrading, choking, hair-pulling, overstimulation, use of safe word, aftercare, angst (happy ending tho!!), i don’t think anything else but lmk!!
a/n: i think it’s about time i write smth about chris and feed y’all. so, eat up!! (also i tried to put a picture and it literally wouldn’t let me😭)
you and chris never really thought about kinks or anything like that. you had talked about it, but the furthest you two ever went was just filming it once or twice. even then, it was still very vanilla. it was soft, enjoyable, and not very rough.
chris wanted to change that.
“so, wait. are we going somewhere?”
“we can, but that’s not the surprise.”
chris kind of smirked, knowing that his surprise was not something you expected.
“can you just tell me? it almost dark out and we’be barely done anything all day except for you making me a nice breakfast. which, i did appreciate by the way.”
“you’re welcome, and no. i’m not telling you.”
he tapped his fingertips together and chuckled lightly. he liked surprising you. he’d done it multiple times before. a bouquet on your door step, a new pair of expensive heels, even flying home early from boston and not telling you. it was his thing.
and tonight was a surprise.
-
at 9:30 pm, you started to get ready for bed. you almost did it in protest for how you and chris barely did anything today.
“oooh, what’s this? toner? replace the t with a b.”
he giggled. how dare he? after not giving you a major day like he does every other anniversary?
you kept a straight face, not breaking eye contact with your face in the mirror as you kept applying serums and creams.
“what’s wrong?”
“nothing, chris.”
he knew that whenver you ended a sentence with his name, you were mad.
“look, how about i meet you in the bedroom in five minutes, and make it up to you?”
you let a little smile show, remembering that your surprise to him was a peachy-orange lingerie set that hugged you in all the right places and showed all the right skin.
“fine.”
-
it started slow and sweet, like always.
but it slowly turned into more.
he went from having you on your back with him lightly laying on you to flipping you onto all fours and ripping the new lingerie set off— literally.
“chris-“
“shut up and take it. i know you can, slut.”
it felt good, the way he was pounding into you.
what didn’t feel good was him calling you the one word you didn’t like. after he started pulling your hair, it all felt real.
were you really just some toy he used? was this his breaking point where he realized he didn’t actually like or respect you like he pretended?
“chris, i don’t-“
he pushed your face into the pillow, tightening his grip on your hair.
“i said shut the fuck up. god, you really are just some slut who thinks she can do anything she wants.”
tears started welling in your eyes. they only strengthened when he started swatting your ass and digging his free hand into your back.
it hurt. like, actually hurt. but he wouldn’t listen.
he was never like this. chris? be aggressive? especially in such a vulnerable moment? never. until now.
after almost suffocating with your face in the pillow for what felt like hours, you tried to shift your face over just enough to be able to breathe. it was hard, with his grip on your hair pushing your head down into it.
eventually, you were able to properly breathe. you started breathing heavier and heavier. not from pleasure, but from overstimulation. from pain.
“i- i can’t! chris!”
he could barely hear you over his grunts and the sounds of skin slapping loudly.
“cant.. can’t what? slut can’t use her words now?”
you tried, but he was causing you so much pain that the tears were taking over. so much so, that you just broke.
what he thought were breaths and tears of pleasure started to settle in, and he finally realized. your pillow and face wet with a taste of salt, and your heart pounding so bad you started shaking.
he slowed down, moving your messy, wet hair out of your face.
“vanilla! vanilla!”
your safe word. you never needed it before, but you guys thought of it after having sex the first or second time. he always wanted you to know you were in control of what was happening too. in a sort of inside joke/mockery, he made it “vanilla”.
“hey- hey.”
he took a second to gather himself and pull out, sitting next to you on the bed. your body fell limp on the sheets.
“what’s wrong-“
“no!”
he tried to rub your shoulder, but your yelling frightened him. it should’ve. the way he caused you the pain he did was horrible.
“hey-“
“just- stop! what-“
your crying intensified, leaving him with a concerned look.
“what made you think that was okay?!”
you tried to stand, stabling yourself with a hand on the bed and the other holding a throw blanket to cover your body.
“what do you mean-“
“what do i mean? chris- you just.. started going crazy! it felt good at first, but you pulled my hair, you dug your nails into my back! you- you called me a slut!”
“i thought-“
“no you didn’t! you didn’t think at all!”
it finally hit him.
that word.
the one word he promised to never use.
“baby- i didn’t mean any of it!”
“then why’d you do it!”
tears turning into anger at his stupidity slowly dried up.
“i thought it would be a nice surprise for our anniversary! but, i’m sorry. i forgot about that word.”
that word was used against you everyday in highschool, ever since you gave some kid a handjob at the park. anytime you wore something even slightly revealing. it opened a floodgate for name-calling.
the tears started up again once silence filled the bedroom.
again, chris was never like this. you always thought he would provide the comfort you so desperately needed in your life. however, it seemed like he thought otherwise.
chris stood up, walked around the bed, and engulfed you in his arms. after realizing that he truly didn’t mean it (doesn’t make it okay, but it’s good he realized he was in the wrong), you hugged him back.
“how about we clean up. can i help you with that?”
you sniffled while stepping back from him. you dropped the blanket and wiped your eyes.
“yeah.”
you spoke softly, still trying to catch light breaths.
he grabbed your hand, leading you the bathroom.
he started the shower, grabbing your coconut body wash out of the bathroom closet along with a soft, white towel.
after getting you into the perfectly-warm shower, he started to clean you up. he didn’t let you move a muscle. he made sure you were fully clean and taken care of before even thinking about himself. he grazed your body with the loofah, making sure every inch was perfectly covered.
“i really am sorry, baby. i didn’t mean to take it that far. i think i just got too excited. i’ll never do it again, i can promise you that.”
“a warning would’ve been nice. i get why you did it. throw in a little variety, or whatever. but that word really set me off.”
“i know, i know.”
he kissed the back of your damp head, making sure you knew he meant his sorrow.
“i forgot. but, no excuse. how about now i dry you off and get you into some comfy clothes, hm?”
his tone was low but sweet. your heart stopped racing, your breath caught up, and your mind was at ease.
“okay.”
after he dried you off, still not letting you do it yourself, he grabbed your hand to lead back into the bedroom. while you were sat patiently on the edge of the bed, he rummaged through drawers and shelves looking for your favorite sleep shirt and a pair of under wear with comfortable shorts.
“this good?”
“yes. thank you.”
“stand up, please.”
you dropped your towel, letting him glide the extra large graphic tee over your head. you lifted each leg as he slid the underwear up, then doing the same with the loose shorts.
“get comfy in bed, i got some treats for you earlier.”
“really? thank you, chris.”
“anything for my girl. she deserves nothing but the best, so i try all for her.”
he kissed your forehead before you slid into the bed, pulling the thick comforter over your body and turning on your favorite show.
-
you fell asleep in eachothers arms, but not until he gave you a lengthy apology.
you know he didn’t mean it, but he needed you to remember he wouldn’t do it again.
his heartbeat under your head lulled you into a deep slumber. a soft, orange light coming from the lamp in the corner of the bedroom mixed with the tv still playing your favorite show made just enough light for you to not have any other worries that night. an open bag of the tastiest chocolate on the nightstand next to two open soda cans had filled your stomach and your heart. the soft laugh tracks in the background and fan lightly blowing on you gave you the comfort you needed.
the biggest comfort was chris’ concern.
he loves you.
you love him.
that’s all you need.
-
AHHHH ITS DONEEEEEEE!!!!! i pray that this is as good as y’all are expecting 😭😭 but seriously though, i thank y’all for the support. i’m at 300 followers already (WHAT THE FUCK) and i couldn’t have done it without you guys. love y’all!! mwah!!💋❣️🌺
taglist: @sleepysturniolo @suyqa @jessie-essie @sturnsobsessed
sorry if i missed anyone that wanted to be tagged!!
#onmykneesformatt🌺#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo imagines#chris smut#chris sturniolo x you#christopher owen sturniolo
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exhausted | barca femeni/alexia putellas x reader
reader has insomnia… but doesn’t tell her teammates alexia begins to figure it out though
was gonna make yall wait till tomorrow butttt i rlly can’t fucked lol
Sleep is something that has never come easy to you.
No matter how hard you try, no matter how much melatonin or herbal teas or meditation you tried, none of it worked.
You, quite simply, could not sleep.
It was fine when you were just a student, when you could dip out of your morning classes or sneak in a nap here and there between classes, when you didn’t have to make it through full days of work.
It was fine when you were playing for London City, when nobody cared about what you were doing, only if you could stop other players from getting past.
It had all changed though when the Barca offer had come in though.
It was known to every single footballer in the women's league that Barca had major injury problems, specifically in their backline, injuries that wouldn’t be resolved until long after the season was over.
You’d never thought though that some absences in Barcelona’s star squad would crate an opportunity for you, but for whatever reason, the Barca selectors had seen something in you, and even though it was mid season, had been desperate to sign you, it was a big move to go from England to Spain, but one you were more than happy to make for the sake of your career.
You’d never thought that the move from home would be so much more detrimental to your sleep schedule, but slowly you’d found yourself becoming more exhausted as you struggled to keep up with your new life.
There were a lot of things that were different about Spain, or more specifically the Barcelona Women’s team. When you were playing in London, training every couple of days and playing once a week, you could afford to miss some hours of sleep during the night, especially considering that nobody in London was concerned about making school a priority over there. You could take some naps during the day, laze around as much as you wanted and go to school whenever you could be bothered.
Barca was different, and not in a good way.
It was good for your football, internationally and just in general. Before Barca, you’d been more of a bench player then a starter for the England under 17s, but your game had lifted and you’d been a consistent starter in every tournament and friendly since.
You were exhausted, more than you’d ever been in your entire life, and you were sure it was starting to show.
It was hard enough being 16, in a foreign country, getting hardly any hours of sleep, training at least three hours a day as well as gym sessions and playing twice a week. Trying to be a full time student as well, it was completely unrealistic and it was starting to show.
“Nena, do you want to slow down on the energy drinks? Someone so itty bitty and young like you shouldn’t be consuming any caffeine, let alone two red bulls before noon, we’re lucky you aren’t pinging off the walls yet.”
Mapi’s hands are on your cheeks, pinching and squeezing them as if you are a baby. Instead of paying her any kind of attention you keep your eyes fixed on your laptop screen and lips pressed to the can of red bull that you’ve been tirelessly sipping at for the past couple of minutes.
Integrating into the team had been hard, but you’d actually become far closer with the crew of injured girls, mapi specifically, as well as her girlfriend Ingrid. Frido had also been one of the first people to welcome you, accompanied by two familiar English faces, Keira and Lucy.
Mapi particularly, had taken you under her wing, or had sort of adopted you in an older sister type fashion. It was sort of annoying, the older Spaniard was constantly talking, to the point where you’d learn to pretty much drown out everything that left her lips.
“If you keep touching my face then it won’t just be your knee that’ll be injured, your hands will be broken as well.”
Mapi frowns at you, her pinching fingers moving to brush loose hair from your face and rub at your temples, trying to rub away the frown lines deeply ingrained on your forehead.
“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning did we, nena? You know you’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that, it’s not good for your little baby face.”
You shake your head in an attempt to get Mapi’s hands off of your face, it partially works, but not fully.
“María I am serious, you’ve got three seconds before I tear this can in half and use it to cut off your fingers, don’t you have rehab to do or something more entertaining than bothering me?”
Mapi’s hands fly up in surrender, something you are infinitely grateful for.
“Fine, you want to be grumpy then you can be grumpy by yourself, don’t come looking for me later when you’re bored of school and looking for some fun.”
You don’t bat an eyelid as Mapi retreats from your table.
You take another sip of your drink, praying that it’ll somehow make it easier for you to read the words on your laptop screen, even though it does absolutely nothing.
You’ve read the same page, over and over again and yet it’s done absolutely nothing to make you understand what it is you are supposed to be learning. It’s a mess of consonants and verbs, jumbled up words that just can’t seem to resonate in your brain.
Whilst Mapi has left, unbeknownst to you, you aren’t completely alone in the recovery room.
Alexia has been sitting on one of the massage tables, doing her exercises for the last hour, watching as you’ve gradually been getting far more frustrated with your work.
Alexia’s relationship with you so far has been… rocky.
The captain had made it clear from day one that whilst the club needed you, that your studies were going to be a priority alongside football. If you had known that you’d be going from doing as much school as you liked, to hours of online school everyday, you probably would have reconsidered your move to Spain, but you were here now and struggling more than you cared to admit.
Alexia knew something was up, beyond your clear hatred for school, she just wasn’t sure what yet but she was determined to find out why.
“Everything alright pequena?”
You practically jump at the sound of Alexia’s voice, hand clutching at your heart as you suddenly become aware of a presence in the room that you were unaware existed.
“Perfectly fine.”
You do well to recover from the shock, your eyes darting straight back to your screen almost as quickly as they had left it.
“You’ve been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes.”
Alexia notices that your hands are shaking slightly, most likely due to the insane amounts of taurine that your body is processing.
“There’s a lot of writing on one page.”
You take another sip, finishing off the can and sliding it across the table.
“Mapi’s right, it’s not good for pequena’s like you to be drinking stuff like that, it’s bad for your brain cells, and don’t get me started on what it does to your body.”
Alexia moves to take a seat beside you at the table, her concern for you growing even more when she took a look at your face and realised how exhausted you looked.
“I don’t need the lecture, I’m poisoning my body, I’m aware of it, now can I please have slime peace so I can finish this off before training starts?”
Alexia isn’t anywhere near satisfied with your answer, she wants you to argue with her, not admit your wrongdoing like it’s nothing.
“Yes, you are, you aren’t an adult, you don’t need energy drinks, you will do perfectly fine without them.”
Your eyes leave the screen to look at Alexia for a second, a little exhale huffing out between your lips.
“Okay, whatever.”
Alexia can’t get past just how tired you look, so tired that you’re seemingly agreeing with her just to avoid conflict.
“Pequena, how about you take a break for a couple of minutes, go get some fresh air, I’m sure you can finish this up later.”
Alexia’s never let you finish school early, you don’t understand why she’s deciding to today.
“I need to get it done.”
Your body is so tense, Alexia’s scared that you’re going to pull a muscle just from how tight your body looks.
“I’m sure it can wait till later, you’ve been sitting here for two hours now, you need a break.”
Your hands are still shaking, and you’re as hunched over as possible without being asleep on top of your laptop.
“Alexia, I’m fine, I’ve just got to finish this and then I’ll be done.”
Alexia’s hand reaches up to meet your shaking one, somehow hoping that it’ll stop the frantic tremors.
“You’re taking a break, just go and spend some time in the team room, or go for a walk, just take fifteen minutes and I’ll next you when you need to be back. Go, now, I’m not asking.”
You slam your laptop closed with more aggression then Alexia’s seen from you all morning, your body dragging itself out of the room without any regards for your captain whatsoever.
Alexia begins to get worried when twenty minutes later, after multiple text messages, you are yet to return.
She knows you’re stressed, that school isn’t what you want to be focusing all of your energy on. But Alexia knows from personal experience how easy it is for somebody of your age with your kind of talent to disregard things like education, something that she believes is so crucial to any adult's life. You need options, Alexia is trying to give you them, even if you seem to hate them with every single fibre in your body.
Alexia decides to go looking for you once twenty five minutes have passed and you are nowhere in sight and have ignored every single one of her messages.
It doesn’t take her long to find you, although she does almost miss you.
Alexia peeks her head into the locker room, simply to ask if anyone has seen you, the room is silent and empty though.
She almost leaves, but just as she’s about to close the door, she spots your body, tucked up inside of your locker, your head tucked into your knees.
You look frightfully unrestful, you don’t look like most people look when they’re sleeping, most people look peaceful, you look bothered, like your body is fighting against the sleep that you so clearly need.
Alexia walks over to you, now more than ever she’s certain you’re sick, that you’ve caught some kind of cold that’s causing this exhaustion and the short tempered mood you’ve been in.
She brings the back of her palm up to your forehead, an action that has your eyes snapping opening immediately.
Alexia’s sort of surprised when she realises you’ve got no fever whatsoever, although she’s well aware that not all sicknesses result in fever, something about it is putting her off.
“Hola pequenita.”
It takes you a few seconds to realise where you are and what’s happening, but as soon as you do you are shaking Alexia’s hand from your face and pushing yourself out of your cube.
“Sorry, time completely slipped past me, I’ll head back now.”
Alexia’s hand grabs your forehand before you have the opportunity to slip past her, tugging you backwards until you’re standing directly in front of your captain, forced to look at her.
“Are you sick?”
Alexia isn’t sure what’s wrong, but it’s clear something is up and sickness is the clearest option. She knows that you are no stranger to energy drinks, she spends most of her time heckling at you to try and put down whatever drink you’ve got in your hands. She’s never seen you down two in such a short amount of time though and sickness would be a good explanation.
“No, I’m fine.”
Alexia can’t find any deceit in your words or mannerisms, it appears that you are being completely honest with her, something that makes Alexia even more confused. None of the tell-tale signs are there, you are telling the truth.
“I know you aren’t a stranger to a midday nap, but it’s unlike you to be so tired.”
Alexia’s arm moves from your forearm up to your face, gently tracing the deep purple bags that are sitting below your eyes. Her thumb is soft, it feels like she’s mending all of the fatigue that lies there, but as soon as her thumb moves it all comes back.
“I’m fine Capí, just stayed up a little bit later last night.”
Alexia can tell that’s a lie, a cover up from whatever it is that you’re hiding from her.
“Well see to it that you get into bed earlier tonight. The team is out on the pitch, I told Jona that you’d join them once finished up with your work that you’d head out but I think you need some fresh air. Better get moving.”
Alexia’s voice is ridged and your body reacts to it, reaching into your locker with more speed then she’s seen you work with all day, you grab your cleats and before Alexia has the chance to speak anymore you are marching out of the rooms and out towards the pitch.
It’s perplexing to Alexia, she hates being lied to, especially when it’s clear something is wrong. She waits in the locker room for a few minutes, trying to piece together the mystery yet she comes up with nothing.
Eventually she makes the decision to go out and watch the training, pitchside, maybe you’ll have perked up now that you’re out doing something you enjoy.
The first thing Alexia notices is how frantically you are playing, it’s unlike you to be sloppy and yet as she watches you it’s all she can observe.
You are sloppy, messy and uncalculated, something that you are normally the opposite of.
You are a technical player, something that has helped you settle into the Barcelona squad with ease, you adjusted to the Spanish way of playing without much fuss.
What Alexia is watching though, you look like a completely different player. You’re practically passing the ball directly to Salma, goal after goal being put through your legs and around your body. It’s embarrassing, and she’s certain other people are picking up on your abnormal behaviour, multiple people, specifically Ingrid coming to check on you and make sure everything is fine.
You shake all of them off, even though it’s clear that something is up and whatever that something is, it’s big and it’s affecting your game and mood majorly.
Alexia’s not surprised when Jona drags you from the field, already yelling at you and sending orders your way, what she is surprised by is the way that you don’t even flinch as he throws never ending criticism your way.
You just stare at him, neither nodding or trying to reply to him, Alexia’s not even sure if you’re hearing him, if you’re present enough to be listening to the words that are leaving his mouth. For a second she considers the possibility that you’re violently hungover or acting under the influence of some kind of substance, it would explain the drowsiness and weird behaviour.
The idea makes Alexia instantly filled with anger, you are 16 and she will take you to the grave if you’ve been touching any kinds of substances. She’s mad enough as it is over the energy drinks, and she’s going to express that when the two of you are in private later on, but the chance that you’ve consumed something illegal for someone of your age, it sends shivers down her spine.
Jona has you back out on the field before you can even begin to respond to his critiques, back into defence where you are brutally humbled time and time again by the likes of Aitana, Salma and Caro.
Alexia cringes every single time, she knows that you are struggling, what she’s completely unprepared for is for you to fully collapse on the field.
Caro volleys another ball over your head and for a second Alexia doesn’t even notice you crumpled up on the ground of the pitch, she’s too busy watching the sight of Caro’s ball perfectly managing to slot in behind Cata. It’s a truly beautiful goal, and truly there isn’t much you could have done about it.
She only notices you when Cata doesn’t turn around to grab the ball, instead, she rushes forwards, leaving the ball long forgotten beside the bottom right post. She’s rushing forwards, down to her knees, directly beside your crumpled up body.
Alexia jumps up from her spot immediately, running faster than she should considering the current state of her knee, it doesn’t matter to her though, seeing your tiny little body all clumped up against the grass terrifies her.
Cata’s smart, and apparently fast acting because before Alexia is sitting down next to you, Cata’s already got her shirt off, drenched it with her drink bottle and has it folded up over your forehead. The cold water seems to bring you back a little bit, your head jerking upwards in reaction to the sudden change of temperature across your skin.
Just as Alexia’s crouching down next to you, the medics are pushing everyone out of the way, kneeling down next to you and doing the same as Cata had done, placing wet towels across your skin. They’re treating it like you’ve got heat stroke and whilst Alexia is aware it’s a warmer day, she knows that whatever is wrong with you, it most definitely isn’t heat stroke.
One of the medics squirts some water onto your face, something that Alexia doesn’t like the look of, but it seems to bring you back awake, your eyes bursting open and blinking furiously as you take in your surroundings.
Alexia can see you panicking immediately, your eyes flashing to the multiple faces that are crowding your vision.
“Everyone take a step back, give her some space.”
The medics and your teammates take a step back, leaving Alexia to skoot herself closer to you. Her hand comes to rest on your face, gently brushing the water residue off.
“Hola nena, stay calm for me, you had a little fall, we’re going to get you inside now, do you think you can get up for me?”
You nod at Alexia, you can’t remember what happened but you don’t want to be on the floor any longer than you have to be.
Alexia helps you up and off the pitch, the medics leading the two of you inside.
Alexia immediately gets you situated on a table, the medics immediately getting their hands all over you.
“Test her heart for me please, and her caffeine and sugar levels. I’ll be right back nena, I’m just going to grab something from my locker, text me if you need anything.”
Alexia is inexplicably angry and she knows that if she spends any more time in a room with you she’s going to yell, or say something that she’s going to regret. If it wasn’t for all the doctors, she probably wouldn’t care but she doesn’t need to air out private situations in front of people who have no business in your private life.
So she stomps her way to the locker room, set on trying to detangle the mess of emotions that has developed deep in her gut ever since this morning.
It’s been longer than this morning, Alexia’s noticed oddities in your behaviour, ever since you’d arrived. The energy drinks, the constant eye bags, power naps whenever you could fit them in. You live by yourself, something that Alexia deeply disapproves of and after today she doesn’t think it should continue on like this. You’d requested your own apartment for two reasons, privacy and because you didn’t want to disturb the private life of your teammates.
Alexia wanted to punch a wall, or throw something. That was all that was running across her mind as she paced back and forth in the locker rooms.
All Alexia could think about was your body, crumpled up on the pitch and she had no idea why and no idea how to help you.
You were sitting in the medical room, by yourself, beside the many doctors and physios who were poking and attaching you to different things.
You were exhausted, you were finding it hard to keep your eyes open. You’d felt the same way all day, hitting the pitch had been too much, too hard, too much energy for your exhausted body.
You wished that you’d feel the same every night when you tried to go to sleep every night, but alas, it felt like as soon as you got into bed, or as soon as you tried to close your eyes sleep just avoided you.
Alexia was probably two laps of the locker room away from throwing her phone at a wall when Mapi walked in, weirded out by the sight of her best friend grinding her feet into the floor as she walked back and forth in the locker rooms.
“Ale?”
Alexia’s pacing doesn’t stop, but she does take a second to look up at María and for some reason the concernedly smiley face of her best friend seems to help the anger bubbling up inside her simmer down slightly.
“Alexia, what’s wrong?”
Alexia’s hands are fidgeting wildly in front of her, her fingers clicking and toying with each other.
“Somethings wrong with Nena, she’s exhausted and frantic and she looks like she hasn’t slept and she’s downing all those energy drinks and maybe they’re getting to her heart? Maybe that’s why she collapsed or maybe she’s sick but somethings wrong and I don’t know what and she collapsed right in front of my eyes.”
Normally, out of the two, Mapi is the one who confides in Alexia the most. Alexia isn’t an openly emotional person and when she is it’s with Olga, because for some reason that woman can get everything and anything out of her. Here though, it’s clear Alexia needs someone to de stress with and Mapi is happy to take up that role.
“It’s just her Alexia, she’s always tired and drinking energy drinks, it’s how the kids these days do it.”
Mapi’s words are supposed to soothe Alexia, honestly they do the complete opposite.
“But she shouldn’t, she’s an athlete, she shouldn’t need them. Mapi, I am telling you, something is seriously wrong, I can feel it. I know she’s always tired, but she looks like she hasn’s slept in weeks and I don’t know why.”
Mapi, for the sake of trying to calm Alexia down, decides that instead of trying to invalidate her worries, it’s best to just try and reason with Ale.
“Ale, how about we go see her, if somethings wrong I’m sure she’d tell us.”
Alexia nods at Mapi, taking the extended arm that her friend gives her and allowing the Zaragozan to lead her back to the physio room she’d previously been in.
When she returns, she’s relieved to see that you look a lot better than how you had on the pitch. There are still grass stains across your face, but you’re less pale than you were before and you’re sipping on a gatorade which somehow makes Alexia feel less guilty about the whole situation.
“Hola pequena.”
Your eyes manage to meet Alexia’s, something that kind of shocks her, considering just how weighed down your eyes seem to be by the deep purple bags underneath your eyes.
“Bon dia.”
Alexia would not call this a good morning, she couldn’t even call it an okay one.
“What’s wrong?”
Alexia’s focus is on the physios, not you, she’s saving you for later.
“Luckily, not a lot. I checked her heart and I couldn’t find any abnormalities, it’s clear that she’s tired, she’s told me she woke up a little bit earlier than normal this morning which paired with the warmer weather and some minor dehydration is probably the main cause. She’ll take today off, rest up, but I can’t find anything that would indicate any serious underlying problems so there isn’t any reason why I would say she couldn’t be back on the pitch tomorrow.”
It’s a positive sign, but not what Alexia wants to hear, she wants something to be wrong, so that she can get to the bottom of whatever is happening to you.
“Good, thank you, do you think you could give us the room for a couple of minutes, por favor?”
The physio smiles at Alexia, giving her a nod before leaving the room discreetly.
As soon as Alexia is certain he is no longer within hearing distance, she pivots on her heel, so she’s facing you directly.
“What are you hiding?”
It’s so ominous, even Mapi thinks it’s a little bit far-fetched, as a 16 year old, Mapi was probably hiding more than she was sharing, it’s not really a fair question.
“What am I hiding?”
It sounds like you're even struggling to get words out, your voice is just so tired, like it’s taking up so much energy for you to speak a few simple words.
“Somethings wrong, you’ve been drinking all these energy drinks, which are not only far too caffeinated but also extremely bad for you and you look like you haven’t slept properly in weeks.”
You want to tell Alexia that she’s right, you aren’t sleeping properly, you haven’t been your whole life, but she wouldn’t be the first person who tried to help you and has failed miserably in the process, it’s quite simple, sleep and you just simply do not work.
“Anyone from England would tell you that I just drink energy drinks, it’s not that deep Alexia.”
Mapi is teetering on the edge of having to hold Alexia back from causing you bodily harm.
“Deep? Collapsing on a pitch is not deep? It seems pretty deep to me amor, you can hardly talk, you could hardly read this morning, it’s clear something is wrong and I want to know what.”
You don’t know how to tell Alexia that something isn’t wrong, this is just you, or the new version of you in Spain. Your insomnia had always affected you, moving to Spain had seemed to make it worse but you’d always lived like this, ever since you could remember, sleep was just something that you could never have consistently.
“Nothings wrong, I am fine, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
Alexia’s jaw sets and for a second Mapi does truly worry for you.
“I want you to not lie to my face.”
You visibly flinch at those words, you don’t want nor mean to lie to Alexia, but you figure you are saving yourself from a merry go round of painful conversations.
“I’m not lying.”
Alexia knows you are, she’s not stupid.
“Right, well you’ve got the day off, you’ll be coming home with me and staying with Olga and I until you look less like you are on the brink of a coma. María will go get your things.”
Mapi nods quickly at Alexia, walking out of the room as quickly as she can manage, leaving just you and Alexia.
Even though Alexia is mad, she begrudgingly helps you up from the bed, draping your arm over her shoulder to give you somebody to lean on as she walks the two of you out to her car. She’s just gotten you seated in the passenger seat and closed your door when Mapi pops up with your things. Before Alexia can hop into the car and get going, Mapi stops her.
“Be easy on her, si? She’s going through something and I know you want to know, I know you want to help her but whatever is wrong, she’s not talking about it for a reason. Maybe she doesn’t need you questioning her, just take a look, a proper look at her and see if you can get a better idea. For me?”
Alexia knows that Mapi won’t let go of her shirt without some kind of acknowledgement that she’s going to agree to her.
“Okay, I’ll go easy on her.”
It’s a half truth, Mapi seems to accept it though, letting go of Alexia’s shirt so that the Catalan can take her seat in her car and begin to drive the two of you home.
The car ride home is eerily silent, Alexia keeps her eyes focused on the road, her knuckles whitening from the grip she has on the steering wheel and her jaw so set that you begin to worry that her teeth must hurt from the constant clenching.
When the two of you pull up to Alexia’s house you’re feeling a lot better, your head is clearer and you don’t feel as broken as you had earlier.
You clamber out of the car, walking your way slowly to Alexia’s front door. Alexia bothers around with the keys, twisting them in the hole before opening up the door for the two of you.
“Ale? You’re home early.”
Olga’s voice filters in from the kitchen, the two of you making your way through until you spot her.
“Nena, is that you? I didn’t know we were going to have company, if I had I would have cleaned up a little bit for you.”
You shake your head at Olga, giving her a small smile that you’ve reserved just for Alexia’s partner.
“Go sit down on the couch, get your feet up.”
Alexia’s voice is stern, it immediately makes Olga frown at her.
Alexia allows her girlfriend to drag her from the kitchen and into their pantry.
“What’s with the mood?”
Olga’s happy space is her and Ale’s house, it’s supposed to be the one place that the both of them can get away from football and stress.
“Nena is hiding something, she collapsed at training and we don’t really know why but she does and she won’t tell us.”
Olga nods her head, the somehow younger but wiser woman putting on her thinking hat and trying to rationalise what Alexia is telling her.
“Don’t you think it would be smarter to try and be nice to her? I know that she’s fucked up, but it’s clear she just needs some love right now, maybe you should be giving it to her.”
Alexia thinks that Olga doesn’t understand the whole situation, she doesn’t see you everyday, doesn’t see how ragged you are and how deep this issue stems, but she also can’t not listen to her, the woman somehow tends to always be right and she can’t see why that would change now.
“Okay, okay.”
Olga smiles at her, getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Alexia’s jaw before pushing her out of the pantry and back into the kitchen.
Alexia is unsurprised to find you dead asleep on her couch, your head lulled against one of her couch pillows. She’s glad, and decides to pocket the inevitable conversation she is going to have to have with you, instead opting to help her girlfriend make lunch.
You sleep for a total of 40 minutes, something that Alexia is less glad about. As soon as she notices you’re awake she’s forcing a bottle of water into your hands and two aspirins. You take them before she shoves them down your throat, taking multiple gulps of the water so Alexia didn’t have another reason to be mad with you.
To be fair, she looked a lot less mad than she had earlier, you wouldn’t even really describe how she looked as mad, more concerned.
Alexia sat down in front of you on the couch, taking a deep breath before she started speaking.
“I’m not going to force you to tell me anything, I understand that you are going through a lot, I just need you to know that I’m here for you, anything you need nena I am here to support you and try and help you however I think best.”
Alexia’s words cut deep for you, it’s a struggle for you not to break out in tears, as much as you really want to.
“I know Ale.”
She nods at you, holding back her own tears, there’s some kind of understanding between the two of you, that you aren’t going to cry or speak, just acknowledge each other for now.
“Olga’s made up the spare room for you, you’ll stay here until you’re in a better place. You’re welcome here and you’ll be no bother for the next couple of weeks.”
You nod your head, biting down on your tongue to stop yourself from arguing back to her.
The rest of the afternoon is fairly similar, you are fed by Olga and then spend the majority of the rest of the day lounging on the couch, occasionally falling asleep, but as Alexia notices, never for longer than 40 minutes. It’s like your body refuses to properly rest.
When dinner comes around you look just as exhausted as you had this morning, you just look a little bit less dead.
After dinner, you head off to bed, alexia’s glad, she’s hoping that you’ll have a nice long proper sleep and that all of this will be solved.
She’s wrong.
Instead of hopping into bed, you pull out your laptop, knowing that if you stand a chance at getting even two hours of sleep it’s not happening any time soon.
You work at your school work, completing the things you hadn’t finished earlier. When 12 o’clock rolls around, you force yourself away from your laptop and underneath the covers of alexia’s extremely comfortable spare bed.
You stare at the roof, every now and again you’ll twitch and for some reason it’ll hurt your brain. You play your favourite song over and over again in your head, praying that it’ll somehow lull you to sleep, it neves does. You stare at the ceiling and try to focus on the sound of the fan. You stare at the ceiling and wonder if the swirl pattern in it is mobing. You think about your favourite film and how the characters used to provide you so much peace. When you remember how much they meant to you, you let a few stray tears fall.
You stare at the ceiling.
Every once and a while, you’ll roll over and press your face into the pillows and pull the covers over your head and hope that if you hide somehow you’ll fall asleep.
Eventually, you’ll fall asleep.
Sometimes it takes hours, all for you to wake up half an hour later feeling as unsatisfied as ever.
It’s how you live, it’s the same routine every night, it’s your normal.
When 4am rolls around and you’ve managed to get a measly twenty minutes or so of sleep, you climb out of the sheets, annoyed that your glass of water is empty. Your eyes are dry and itchy with the feeling of needing to cry, you push that feeling deep into your gut, ignoring the desperate need to ignore your feelings in favour of keeping a strong face.
You try to be as quiet as possible, filling up your glass and taking a seat on Alexia’s couch, looking out of the window of her lounge room at the Barcelona skyline that lights up along her back fence.
“Nena is that you?”
You nearly jump out of your skin.
Alexia is standing in the kitchen, leaning up against the island, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and staring at you inquisitively.
“What are you doing awake?”
The words trigger something in you, it’s probably the half dazed state you’re in, the complete exhaustion and annoyance you’re experiencing at your inability to sleep, but all of a sudden, tears are dripping your face and you don’t know why or how.
Alexia freezes for a second, she’d expected something obviously, but crying was not one of those things.
She’s never seen you cry, she’s never had to deal with a teenager who is breaking down right in front of her eyes. She doesn’t know what to do, or how to help you, all she knows is that you are crying a lot and she is just standing and watching.
The problem solver in Alexia tells her that she has to do something, so she paces her way over to the couch, sitting down beside you and tentatively wrapping an arm around your shoulder. She doesn’t know whether or not it’s the right way to go, but it seems to pay off when you immediately relax into her, your head craning into the pocket of her neck and shoulder. Fresh, warm tears drip down onto Alexia’s skin.
Alexia is tense, her back as straight as a board. She doesn’t normally have to deal with this kind of thing, she doesn’t have to try and sympathise with feelings. She’s not an emotional person herself, she cries once a year normally and that’s on the anniversary of her fathers death.
“Nena, it’s okay, I’m here.”
Alexia’s words are calculated, strategic, like she’s reading them off of google or something. Truly, she doesn’t intend for them to come off that way, but it’s kind of just how they do.
Alexia waits for the tears to stop coming, she figures it has to happen, you can’t just cry forever.
The two of you sit like that, crisscrossed on the couch until you manage to compose yourself, until you’ve cried out all the annoyance and grievances over your current predicament.
In the past, your insomnia would stop you from sleeping for days, but eventually the exhaustion would catch up with you and you would get a good night or a few of sleep, but it had been weeks now of you living in Barcelona and sleep had been avoiding you the whole time.
“Nena, what’s wrong?”
Right now, it feels like everything is wrong, it feels like your whole world is upside and you want it to be normal, you want to just be able to close your eyes and get some fucking sleep.
“I can’t sleep.”
Alexia’s brow furrows.
“Well maybe you shouldn’t have had so many energy drinks, no?”
It’s the kind of reply you should have expected.
“No Alexia, I can’t sleep, I have insomnia.”
Alexia struggles with the translation in her head, in-som-ni-a?
“Sorry, what?”
You take a deep shaky breath, pulling your head away from Alexia’s chest so that you can rub the tears from your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt.
“Insomnia, I can’t sleep, medically. I have a condition that stops me from being able to sleep regularly.”
Alexia’s head all of a sudden starts working, she’s a little bit behind, it’s 4am after all and she’s struggling to keep her eyes open.
“You can’t sleep?”
You shake your head, Alexia wants to tell you that you’re being silly, but when she sees the pure heart break and exhaustion in your eyes she knows that you can’t be lying. You look so young, tear tracks all over your face and body caved in on itself.
“I can’t sleep.”
It makes more sense to alexia now, all the energy drinks, the exhaustion, the power naps.
“Have you talked to the team doctors about it, I’m sure they could give you medication or something that could make it better, this can’t go on forever, nena.”
You shake your head at Alexia, your exhaustion turning to fear.
“No and you have to promise you won’t either. I’ve been through it, the sleep tests, all of it. I won’t take drugs, you can't make me and I refuse to.”
It’s like you go from being a mellowed out version of yourself to an attack dog.
“Nena, you need help, you can’t keep playing when you can hardly keep yourself standing.”
You shake your head, so fast that Alexia worries you might pass out from the sudden and frequent movements.
“I’m not taking drugs, you can’t make me, I won’t do it.”
Alexia doesn’t know where this sudden defensiveness has come from, but she knows two things. She needs to make sure that you understand that she can be there for whatever you are going through whilst also trying to figure out what is your random refusal to not take medication.
“Wouldn’t it help some?”
It’s hard to explain your complete hatred for any kinds of drugs. You’d grown up in a household where your mom might as well have been a druggie with how little she was invested in your life and where your dad was a legitimate druggie.
You struggled to take paracetamol, let alone any kind of prescribed drug.
You were scared shitless that somehow, you would turn out like your father and that was the last thing you could ever want.
You didn’t come from a loving home, you didn’t come from a place where you got the newest cleats every year and the best training. You came from a home where grocery money was spent on cocaine and any football money was spent on heroin. You’d been lucky enough that you were good enough for England teams to notice you, for academies to notice you. You were always good enough that you didn’t have to fork out the extra money and if you did it was your own money.
That’s why you’d been so eager to get out of England, to come to Spain. It saved you from the lifestyle that you had been so desperate to get away from.
“I’m not going to take medication Ale.”
For a long time, you’d blamed the insomnia on the constant partying that happened at your house as a kid. Your dad was a revolving door house kind of person, there were always people inside of your house, women, druggies, sex workers, partiers. It was never ending, and for a logn while you’d just thought you couldn’t sleep because of the constant noise inside of your house. When you went away for your first camp at 11, you realised that just simply wasn’t it, you had a serious problem. Maybe it was a byproduct of always being in a house full of noise, or maybe it was just your fucked up ness, you just knew that somewhere along the way, everything in your brain started working backwards.
“Nena, you don’t have to take medication, but can you tell me why?”
You figure that you’ve already told Alexia too much, why stop now?
“My dad has drug problems, always has, probably always will. My mom was never really home as a kid, when she was it wasn’t pretty. I don’t want to turn out like them. That’s why I didn’t go home over the break”
Alexia’s heart drops. She’s been through her own problems with her family, her fathers death and so on. But she’s always had something and that is a safe place to go if she ever needs it. Her parents loved her, they did everything to protect her as a child, Alexia grew up in a space where she could be whoever she wanted and her parents would support her. You, to some extent, clearly didn’t and it explained a lot to her. It explained why you were so hesitant to accept help from anyone, and why you were such a lone wolf, you had to be for survival.
Alexia suddenly wraps her arms around you, all of a sudden feeling an overwhelming sense that she has to protect you, that you need her to keep you safe.
You’re crying again, it hurts less this time, it comes more from a place of exhaustion than annoyance and anger.
“I just want to rest Ale, I just want some peace.”
Alexia’s grip tightens, she’s compressing your bones in the best way possible.
“It’s okay nena, I’ve got you, it’s going to be okay.”
Alexia just holds you, until you exhaust yourself so much from the crying that you fall asleep.
She doesn’t want to wake you, not after everything you’ve just confessed to her, so she lays herself down on the couch, keeping you pulled tight to her chest as she drapes a blanket over the two of you and rests down against the pillows, deciding that she might as well get a few hours in for herself.
You wake up to the sun in your eyes and the smell of bacon and pancakes.
You feel better than you have in weeks, blinking the sleep away from your eyes and slowly sitting up as you adjust to your surroundings.
Alexia and Olga are in the kitchen, talking hushedly as Alexia cooks over the stove and Olga rocks with her from behind. It feels and looks intimate and you are so tempted to sneak out of the front door to leave them to their peace and avoid all the obvious issues that are going to have to be unpacked with your captain.
You’re seriously considering, but your plotting is stopped when Olga turns around to grab something and she spots you on the couch, conscious and awake.
“Bon Dia, nena.”
Alexia pivots as well, sending a smile towards you.
“Good morning, what time is it?”
Olga detaches herself from Alexia, moving towards the fridge.
“It’s just past six.”
2 and a half hours of sleep, that’s not bad at all, it’s better than you’ve had in weeks.
“Breakfast is almost done, if you want to take a seat at the table.”
You nod at Alexia, standing up from your spot on the couch and walking over to the dining table, taking a seat at the table and trying to tame your bed head whilst Alexia plates up the food.
The plate she hands you is full of food, bacon, toast, pancakes, sausages, fruit. It reminds you of home in a weird way, it’s not a truly traditional Spanish breakfast, more English and it seems like Ale’s done it for a reason.
She waits until you’ve started to tuck into your food before she starts speaking.
“I’ve scheduled a meeting with Jona and the medical team this morning, for you.”
Your boyd goes from relaxed and at peace to tense, Alexia knows it’s breaking your trust in a way, but she also knows that she’s now obligated to protect you.
“I told you I don't want doctors or drugs.”
Alexia takes a deep breath, looking over at Olga and being reminded that sometimes she has to do hard things.
“I know nena, and i’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to, I don’t think I could if I tried, but this can’t keep going. I did some research, there are some really good drugs for people that struggle like you, that aren’t addictive and can help lots. I’m not a doctor and neither are you. We don’t know about these things, it’s not our job, but there are people who do know about this stuff and they can try to help you, really help you. You can’t live like this, it’s not sustainable in any way, we need to find some way to fix this. Whether it’s therapy or medication or resting, you need something and you can’t provide it yourself.”
Alexia words are a punch to the gut, but they also make sense, she knows what she’s talking about.
“You promise that I won’t have to do anything I don’t want to?”
Alexia nods her head, she’s shocked that you’re already sort of agreeing with her.
“I promise nena, I just want to help you somehow, however that may be.”
You take a big bite of your food, and a gulp of the orange juice that Olga has set down next to you.
“I slept better than I have in months last night, because of you, I don’t know how or why but something you did made me sleep and if you think that I need help, then I can’t really argue with that. It needs to be on my own terms though.”
Alexia nods, this is so hard for you, accepting help, accepting that you have a problem that needs fixing.
“Of course nena.”
You nod, drawing all of your thoughts together.
“I think I need help Ale, I want help.”
#woso#woso community#marry me rn#barca femeni#alexia putellas angst#alexia putellas is mom#alexia putellas x reader#barca femeni x reader#wfc barcelona#barcelona women#barcelona femeni#barca#woso smut#lucy bronze
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Something something Sunday, something something headcanon post
- Ponyboy loves mint chocolate chip ice cream, but dally hates it. He claims it tastes like toothpaste and every time he says this, the group has to hold pony back from attacking the guy (fair)
- (modern) Someone show the curtis brothers Steven universe sobs
- The curtis brothers have dimples and smile lines and other facial things. like Darry has crows feet and pony has worry lines on his forehead because I think it’s cool and I have those even though I am like. Young.
- What if Dallas had an older brother or someone that’s like how he is to Johnny but to Dallas and that person died and then his mom died and he hated his dad and had no reason to stay in New York so he left
- I just painted my nails with random ass old nail polish I found and every nail is a different color and I think that’s something cherry would do
- Pony, soda, and twobit are all double jointed in different areas of their body and they’ll just do shit to creep the rest of the guys out, especially dally and darry
- Dally is fine with gore n shit irl but cant handle weird body contorsions
- Johnny will randomly say the most horrifying things like “doesn’t everyone wish they could go to sleep and not wake up” and it just traumatizes ponyboy. Twobit is also like this but a bit more goofy. Pony ends up doing the same thing post-book but says it to sound like it’s a joke like two bit and when people tell him to stop he’s like “it’s true tho🧍🏽♂️”
- Since dally is so pale, he gets “red” so goddamn easily but he looks more pink. Every time he feels too much of any emotion, he’s pink. If it’s too hot he’s pink. Two bit makes fun of him for this and has been punched in the face at least twice for it. Pony is the same but that mf turns like BRIGHT red
- One sided dalbit bc Dallas is fucking aromantic but it’s funny for giggles and shits cuz twobitch just keeps embarrassing himself trying to flirt (vox and alastor core) (someone make a fic about this cries sobs)
- (Modern perchance) Pony is in like advanced classes n shit but fucking hates it. He’s still good at it and will cry if he gets a bad grade, but he doesn’t like it
- (Modern) Pony fucking hates Miguel O’Hara and is absolutely positively disgusted bc like half his friends simp so hard over that man (may or may not be based on me) (it is)
- two bit unironically believes so many conspiracy theories and spreads it to pony and Johnny
- I randomly made mozzarella sticks rn on a whim and soda would 100% impulse make food all the time and just figure out the recipe himself. It’s usually decent.
- Pony loves back to school season but hates actually going back. Like he likes the idea of going back to school and getting new school supplies, but within like, two days, he hates all his classes besides English
- Soda will burst out singing out a lot no matter where he is. Even at night. You can’t stop him (me)
- Rip sodapop you would’ve LOVED musical theater sobs
#I feel like there’s less than usual sigh#whatever#I did more stuff than usual this week so#clarity’s ramblings#ponyboy headcanons#johnny cade headcanons#dally headcanons#sodapop headcanons#darry headcanons#two bit headcanons#steve randle headcanons#Cherry valance headcanons#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade#dallas winston#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#two bit mathews#steve randle#cherry valance#the outsiders#outsiders#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders musical#outsiders musical#the outsiders hcs#the outsiders headcanons
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Love your yandere academy AU!! I have a few Thoughts on it if you don't mind...
First of all the inherent loneliness and otherness you'd feel as the only darling at school? Mwah 🤌 The constant fear of being found out? Delicious. In a way it almost reminds me of Furina in 4.2, having to put on a never-ending show, never letting anyone see your true colors. Her stakes might have been a little higher, sure, but the general vibe is the same.
Next I could imagine darling using the classes as a way to get a leg up on their classmates. They know everything the yanderes do, which helps to even out the playing field, even if just a little. It's easier to avoid being manipulated when you're taking the same psychology classes as the people trying to manipulate you.
Finally I've been thinking about how the yanderes would feel when falling for diet before their identity is discovered. Yanderes falling for other yanderes is rare, and when not reciprocated, it rarely ends well. Especially if darling is a straight A student, they'll know they have to work twice as hard to get them in their grasp, either willingly or not. And with so many people starting to take an interest in them? Even more work. Normally it'd be fine to deal with one or two rivals, but multiple classes of them? Not so simple.
Idk it's just a really neat idea and I'd love to see more of it sometime
First of all, thank you for sending in an ask! I´m very happy that feedback has been pretty positive so far because I was actually a bit hesitant on posting my idea at first. So this is really uplifting! ☺️
And yes, absolutely do share your thoughts with me if you have any, I love discussing ideas with other people, it´s one of the greatest things regarding fanfiction in my opinion 💕
So let´s discuss all of these concepts you brought up for a bit!
Introduction
1k words
gn reader
tw yandere, discussion of normalized toxic relationships, implied stalking, mention of murder
Yandere! Normalized Genshin Academy AU
First of all, yes, you´re totally right! I´m really happy that the inherent feeling of loneliness came through in my writing because it´s one of the first thoughts I had when envisioning this AU. Just imagine how truly alone you must feel, living in a world where all these toxic relationships are viewed as normal and even desirable. All your life, you´ve been terrified of the future, of when the day a yandere desires you would come. You´ve been having nightmares about the day you would feel eyes cling to you way too long for comfort.
And now, you find yourself in this gigantic mess. Not only will you have to stress over your new academy life, but also the people you have to cross paths with in the hallway every day. You have to keep your guard up and play along with the insanity going on around you all day long, you can´t rest or relax for even a second. Because one second might be enough to expose you as who you really are: a helpless darling within a sea of predators just waiting to sink their claws into you.
No matter what, while you´re here you can´t be your true self, you can´t speak your true thoughts because you would be putting yourself in danger. You try your best to stay away from your fellow students but isolating yourself like that feels just as lonely.
And sometimes, you catch yourself almost slipping up when you inevitably have to talk to another student. People like Thoma, Amber, or Kaveh have easy-going and friendly demeanors, they talk to you so eagerly that you can´t help but feel yourself let loose for a bit, only to realize with a start that even these people who seem nice and approachable have to hide dark feelings and thoughts if they´re going to this school. Maybe in another life, you might have loved to have them as close friends but you know how twisted they must be deep down. You cannot allow yourself to trust anyone here and it´s so mentally taxing.
Oh, absolutely! Darling might be terrified by what they´re being taught as if it was the most normal thing in the world but they´re certainly glad to know some of the tricks a yandere might use. They obviously don´t plan on ever using those tips themselves but it´s useful when it comes to keeping their guard up. Thanks to these classes, they know better than to readily accept gifts from any of their "friends" without thoroughly checking them for cameras beforehand.
It´s both a blessing and a curse, really. Darling has a harder time keeping up the facade when confronted with all these new wicked ways to ensnare a darling during classes but they also serve well as a safety precaution. Can´t be tricked if you know all the tricks yourself, right? Though their anxiety would probably skyrocket, questioning every little gesture, gift, or phrase directed at them.
And your last point is also a very interesting point that I would like to elaborate on a bit more! I indeed also think that yanderes dating yanderes would be a very rare thing and I´d even go so far as to say it might be discouraged by society at large. And it´s not for the logical reason one might think of. The fact that two yanderes together would probably cause a spike in murders or similar catastrophes is not the real problem here.
It´s the fact that two yanderes dating each other means that two poor darlings will now have to go without a yandere </3
Even though yanderes are very normalized, I would still say that they´re probably still a minority ( at least I sure hope for the good of the world that half the population isn´t some sort of crazed lovesick fool). This of course comes with the conseqence that there are many more darlings than there are yanderes. Factor in the fact that a darling x yandere relationship is seen as the ideal relationship, something to strive for, and very soon you will see why yanderes dating other yanderes is kind of frowned upon.
Now even fewer darlings will get to have a loving yandere partner!
To you, it´s sick and twisted that this is the consensus, that yanderes and all the horrible things that they do are so romanticized. But at the same time, you´re really glad for this being a thing now because it greatly reduces the risk of one of your fellow students pursuing you for as long as you can still pose as a yandere.
But just because it´s frowned upon doesn´t mean that it´s illegal or that it never happens. There isn´t really any reasoning with a yandere in love so when they have their sights set on someone, there´s pretty much no stopping them. And who would want to be the one to tell them that they shouldn´t be in love with another yandere? That they should give up on you? That wouldn´t go very well.
So sadly enough, once your fellow students grow really interested in you, even you being perceived as another yandere would be enough to deter them. Of course, they´ll have to be more careful when approaching this than if you were a darling. As mentioned, you know all about the different ways to "win someone´s heart" and so they´ll have to adapt their approaches in some way.
Of course, having multiple rivals for your love isn´t making things any easier. Trying to get close to you when you know all their tricks is hard enough, they don´t need any distractions trying to steal your affection. It will certainly turn into a very fierce competition soon and it only gets worse the more people grow infatuated with you.
Your only hope is that they´ll just spend all of their time trying to get rid of the others so that they leave you alone. You´ll certainly have to be very careful about how you interact with your classmates from now on. One compliment and they´ll latch onto the possibility of you secretly loving them as well and then they´ll certainly never let go of you.
Tag list: @charming-mage @blueventss @tonightwrites @lady-of-the-sith-leia-skywalker @kio-may @heartsforseo
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere academy au#genshin yandere academy au#normalized yandere au#genshin normalized yandere au#genshin impact au#yandere#cw yandere#yandere x reader#gn reader#cw obsession
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Hi ! I originally found you through your Ikkayumi fic you posted, and I was sooo very happy to find that you had so many renruki fics/were a regular author that focused on them !
I reel over any fic that focuses on whatever Renji was doing in the space between him and Rukia disconnecting, and especially whatever that man was doing in his stint at squad eleven back then.
I think that Renji is only helplessly pathetic whenever it comes to Rukia, and I always wonder what he did to cope with that ( if he successfully coped with it at all ) in her absence, or how long he managed to avoid talking about her. For as much as he was around them, I’d like to imagine he probably caved and dumped that info off on Ikkaku or Yumichika at some point. Unfortunately, both of them are emotionally constipated people, and they’ve got no idea what the hell to do to cheer him up bc they’re not the kind of guys who are great at emotional kouhai support.
They collaborate on a miraculously decent plan to get their guy out of the dumps, and though the plan is pretty great, shit hits the fan and it all falls to pieces. Renji enjoys every minute of it, even though he’s got no idea what they’re doing, and ends up satisfied with their horrible attempt because he knows this isn’t their specialty but because they do care.
I always juggle between hyper fixating on either of them, but as much as I enjoy both pairings, the best thing is always getting to see any match of them interacting with each other.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this if you do !! I seriously admire your writing and I appreciate your dedication to Rukia and Renji, and I love how canonically accurate you write them. Your fics always really make my day, so thank you for sharing as well !
Thank you so much!! I am also fascinated with this period of history. It's hard for me to write about, although I've made a few attempts.
Renji-without-Rukia is an interesting creature. Here's my take on it: I think that he's competent at least in the ways that are expected of Gotei officers, which is to say, he is very good at sticking his sword in things. On the other hand, he's also low-key self-destructive, in the way that you don't especially notice, especially if you're used to hanging out with the general populace of Squad 11. He's a fine soldier, hard-working, driven, even, but he lacks all of the qualities of the Renji we know now--his aura of friendship, his first-into-the-breach enthusiasm, his patience and empathy toward his younger squadmates. Of course, Ikkaku and Yumichika don't really know there's anything wrong with him, at least not at first, but the longer they get to know him, Yumichika, specifically, might realize that there's someone better buried down in there. Yumichika would probably break out in a rash if he tried to be kind to someone, especially to a youth, but there if there is a thing Yumichika will do, it is give beauty advice and so he started harassing Renji about his skincare and hair routines which you can't do if you can't learn to care about yourself, and that was a real turning point for Renji.
Personally, I think Renji was at Eleven for a long time before he told anyone about Rukia (the one exception was Iba, his roommate, who was frequently subjected to late-night rambles on her when Renji was absolutely sloshed, but Iba is Iba). I'm actually always very touched by the seriousness with which Kubo portrays Ikkaku and Yumichika's reactions to the Rukia story.
To me, the best way to cheer Renji up about all of this is to take his goals seriously and to otherwise just treat him like a normal member of the Eleventh, which is exactly what he needed at that time.
I'm really only an IkkaYumi casual at best, but one thing I do really like about them is that I think Renji sees them as the blueprint for the relationship he would like to have with Rukia: battle partners first and foremost, tough as Hell and twice as hot, different but complementary, two halves of one whole idiot. He is absolutely deranged for this, but I think it's very charming, and to be honest, I think Rukia would, too.
#renji abarai#ikkaku madarame#yumichika ayasegawa#renruki#ikkayumi#i...do have a half-written fanfic in the WIPs that is on exactly this topic#i even wrote a scene for it this past April!#it's on my short list of things I Would Like to Finish Sooner Rather Than Later#i've gotten a couple of requests for Squad 11 content and i've been contemplating trying to finish it and claim that it counts#it's a Medium-Large One tho and I would have to make an outline#not sure how i got 10k words in with no outline but that's how 2019 me rolled i guess#i'm not very dependable for anything these days and i have a lot of other things i want to do tho so WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE.#thank you again for all the kind words!! this really warmed my heart!
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I should've been working on my thesis today, but instead I've been thinking about clones. I did also work on my thesis just not as much as I probably should have.
I finally reached the part of Clone Wars where the Bad Batch are introduced and watched it twice and I have some Thoughts. Since you all seemed to like my May 4th post (seriously, it's still getting new notes every day, what's with that? - not a complaint) I figured I'd share.
I will warn you right now: It may become clear in this post that I'm studying Communication, and also that I find Words and How People Use Them really interesting.
So. Okay. We all like Cody, right? He's a good guy. He spends a lot of time with Kenobi, and also Skywalker, so some snark is to be expected, but over all he seems like a nice guy (not to be mistaken for a Nice Guy TM, which is something completely different and not actually very nice at all). It's also made clear that he's worked with the Batch several times before, and that the Batch all seem to like him well enough, for a reg, anyway.
Cody introduces the Batch to Rex as "defective clones, with... desirable mutations". Defective. From a guy who seems to at least respect them, and have earned their respect in turn.
It makes me wonder... How often have the Batch heard that word? How many times have they been called something even worse? Sure, they weren't around to overhear it this time, but that doesn't mean aren't sometimes, or that other people won't say it to their faces.
And what almost makes it worse is, I don't think Cody meant anything bad by it. It wasn't an insult, just a word, a fact - a way to describe them that Rex would understand. An Rex probably doesn't see it as an insult to them either; a cause for concern, maybe, but not too bad, because Cody clearly trusts them to get this job done. And Rex seems to respect 99, too; another 'defective' clone (see his comment about naming them Cloneforce 99 'a nice touch') (idr if Cody is ever seen interacting with 99 or talking about him or giving away an opinion one way or another, but probably he liked 99 just fine too).
What I'm getting at is... Just because Cody and Rex don't use 'defective' as an insult, that doesn't change the fact that it is a negatively charged word, especially when directed at clones, who are people, but often treated more like droids; where defect means damaged, means not worth it, means decommissioned, means dead, in one way or another. And the fact that the word is so commonplace that good guys like Rex and Cody use it so flippantly... That must be really fucking hard, to live with that moniker hanging over your heads all the time, no matter how good you are at what you do (A 100% success rate doesn't happen accidentally - that's what happens when you can't afford to be anything less than perfect). No wonder they try to turn it around; wear it like armor: Yeah, we're a "bad batch" but we're still here.
Honestly, "regs" seems kind in comparison.
#Star Wars: The Clone Wars#Star Wars: The Bad Batch#tbb#tbb meta#Commander Cody#Captain Rex#tbb Hunter#tbb Crosshair#tbb Wrecker#tbb Tech#Clone Wars season 7#I have some more thoughts about trust and teamwork in the Batch but that's gonna be a separate post at a later time#(like when I've had dinner. or tomorrow. or something. might actually do a crazy thing and queue it)#(I should also check that post from the 4th to see what it was I said would be in a different post in that one)#(and then consider actually writing said post)
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Day 1, 2, 3, 7 13, 15-Bakugou "doesn't get sick"
Trying another whumptober whoo hoo! I got a new job, a great one for the first time in my life lol, and I've got a lot of time to be able to sit down and just write. So I'm gonna try my hardest to finish this whumptober, I've been writing as much as I physically can haha
prompts- swooning, thermometer/delurium, "make it stop", "can you hear me", cold compress, "I'm fine"- fever, passing out, sick Katsuki, todobaku pre, shower scene ;)
Feel free to find this on AO3- https://archiveofourown.org/works/50196034/chapters/126773227
This is a long one, so I'm gonna put it under a cut.
Katsuki had been hot and sweaty all day, which is normally something he encouraged for his quirk to work at its highest potential, but today it just felt wrong. He wasn’t sure why, he always took very good care of his body, but something just wasn’t adding up. It was spring, and the weather was supposed to be very nice, but it felt like he couldn’t cool off no matter what he did. He felt like the sun was projecting pure heat through the window as he sat uncomfortably in class, trying his best to pay attention through one of the worst headaches he’d ever had in his life.
To make matters worse, Katsuki had been assigned fucking Todoroki as a partner for an upcoming hero research paper. He hated group work in the first place, but assigning him goddamn Todoroki (even if Aizawa claimed it was random, he never believed that bullshit, Aizawa lied to them all the time) was just adding insult to injury at this point. But he never shirked from his academic responsibilities, he was going to graduate top of his class, so he still had to actually try on this stupid assignment even though he didn’t want to work with the half-n-half bastard. His headache would just have to wait. The sooner they were done, the less he had to talk to IcyHot.
“We’re finishing this as fast as we fucking can,” Katsuki had hissed at Todoroki, who only stared back blankly. Bastard. “I don’t care if you have plans tonight, I’m coming over to your fucking room and we’re finishing this tonight.”
“Aizawa distinctly said we should not do this in one night.” God, even his voice irritated Katsuki. Everything about the bastard irritated Katsuki, from his stupid hair to his stupid muscles to his stupid blank face that never showed any thought Katsuki could pick up on. Kaminari had teased him over ‘how obsessed you are over Todoroki’ and how it ‘sounds like you liiiike him’ but he shut up when Katsuki pushed him off his chair.
Katsuki rolled his eyes. “He was talking to the idiots who wait until the last minute to do the work.”
Like the idiots he couldn’t help but call friends because… well, he didn’t know what else to call them. They wouldn’t leave him alone, always forced him to participate in their activities, and every time he tried to leave the group chat they’d set up, he’d just be added right back in and chastised lightly as if he’d just made a small mistake. It had been hard to admit, but sometimes, only sometimes, Katsuki enjoyed their company, and even had fun once or twice. He would never admit to it, especially since he didn’t know how to feel about it, and he refused to be laughed at because he was unsure of these new feelings.
“I suppose we’ll find out when we attempt the assignment.” Todoroki said, which only infuriated Katsuki more, which caused his headache to spike. He wanted to argue some more, but having done it in the past proved its inefficiency. Todoroki never fucking reacted to anything he did, even when he was purposefully antagonizing the bastard just to see him make some kind of facial expression.
“Whatever. I’m coming over right after dinner,” and didn’t that sound disgusting, “so be ready.”
Todoroki nodded, and Katsuki almost felt cheated since Todoroki never reacted to anything he said. He’d seen Todoroki make facial expressions for fucking pathetic Deku, Katsuki was way better than him, why didn’t he get those reactions? Katsuki was ridiculously past good enough to get one of those stupid ass smiles or little puffs of laughter. Katsuki deserved that more than Deku ever would.
Getting through the rest of the day had been difficult, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He just had a headache from dealing with everyone’s bullshit, and the day was a fluke of being too hot, and he just had to get through it. Katsuki was the strongest person in this entire class, he could handle anything. It got easier after school when he took off his uniform and could put on a simple tank and shorts. At dinner, he forced himself to have some congee rather than his normal, nutritionally balanced meal, but the thought of food was so unappealing that forcing himself to cook and eat his routine foods almost outweighed his knowledge that he had to eat dinner in the first place.
When he went to put the half he couldn’t finish in the fridge, Kirishima was in the kitchen, burning whatever he was trying to make. Usually Katsuki could tell by smell alone, but this time he couldn’t smell anything but it was obviously burning. Even worse, Katsuki knew how to salvage his dinner and he didn’t have a reason not to tell him.
“Your heat is too high. Take it out now and it’ll only be slightly burnt.” Katsuki grumbled, rolling his eyes both at himself and his idiot best friend. He couldn’t believe he was best friends with someone who could barely function like an independent human being.
“Thanks, bro!” Katsuki had given up on Kirishima calling him ‘bro’, it seemed to be a core aspect of the redhead’s personality. The chipper smile directed at him as Kirishima did as he said kinda made up for it. Making his friends happy wasn’t the worst thing he’s ever done. “Are you done already? Usually you’re in here cooking up a storm, I was surprised not to see you.”
Kirishima then saw the congee in his hands as he put it in his tupperware, and he frowned. “Dude, is that all you had? Aren’t you the one always yelling at us to ‘make better dinners’? Are you okay?”
Katsuki bristled at the question, his pride flaring up in defense. “I have to work with fucking IcyHot on a dumb fucking project I don’t need a partner for, and apparently I can’t have a simple dinner for once without everyone jumping down my throat! The fuck do you think?”
“Okay, okay, sorry, bro.” Kirishima held up his hands in defense. “Just wanted to check in. You haven’t seemed yourself today.”
Katsuki glared at him. “I don’t need you to ‘check in’. Leave me the fuck alone.”
“If you say so, bro.” Kirishima shrugged. “We’re gonna have a smash brothers tournament at Denki’s tonight, you wanna join in?”
“You shits are lucky I can’t destroy you tonight.” Katsuki rolled his eyes. “I’m doing my fucking report, which is what you should be doing. When it’s two nights before it’s due, and you still haven’t done it, don’t come crying to me. I won’t help you.”
He would help them. His friends struggled with schoolwork, and if he was going to be seen with them then they had to live up to his reputation. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do that without his help, and he didn’t like watching his friends struggle and seeing them upset over their grades. That stupid feeling he hated outweighed his annoyance at helping them, so, he didn’t really have a choice if he didn’t want that stupid feeling he got when he saw his friends get upset. He didn’t know how, but somehow his idiots had figured that out, and they still came to him every time, and every time, despite him telling himself that he wouldn’t help them this time, he helped them regardless. They were all the worst and he hated them.
But for now, Katsuki was too busy hating the elevator’s stupidly bright lights to hate his friends anymore. Katsuki leaned against the metal, the coolness of the metal a balm on his overly hot skin. He’d never been so glad that the entirety of Heights Alliance had air conditioning. The day had been way too hot today, Katsuki had always been sensitive to hotter temperatures since he couldn’t cool his body through his sweat like other people did, which is probably why he hadn’t heard anyone else complain about it. But he could take anything, any temperature, any obstacle, because no hero worth their salt would let a thing like a hot day stop them so he refused to let it stop him.
Even though he really didn’t want to be doing this, he’d much prefer to just take a cold shower and go to bed early so the day would finally be over, he still pushed forward and went to Todoroki’s room. He went to just walk in, not like the bastard didn’t know he was coming, but the door was locked. He jiggled the door handle a little violently, clearly seeing the light was on under the door, but it still didn’t open. Katsuki’s eye twitched.
knock. knock.
It was the stiffest knock of his life, but apparently that was enough for Todoroki, who finally opened the door. “You knew I was coming, that was a dick move.”
“So is barging in unannounced.” Todoroki replied, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki’s eye twitched again.
“We should get started since you want to finish tonight.” Todoroki said, and Katsuki just growled, and then just set his stuff down on the tiny ass table Todoroki had. Sometimes, Katsuki had to choose his battles. Most of the time, he chose all battles, but this one he had to let go since he didn’t want his grade to suffer.
“I’m taking this pathetic excuse for a chair since you’re apparently so fine with being on the floor.” Katsuki said, referring to the mat Todoroki slept on. Todoroki didn’t protest, he merely just set the mat next to the thing that couldn’t even be called a desk really since it was too damn small. The room didn’t seem to have much in terms of temperature control, as the elevator had been much cooler. It was probably because Todoroki could regulate his own temperature, so he didn’t need the ac unit to do it for him. That was annoying as fuck.
The headache that Katsuki had been working very hard to ignore was becoming more and more of a problem as they worked. Katsuki could at least appreciate the monotone right now since it was quiet, and he spoke slowly enough that Katsuki could hear him despite the pounding in his head. A hammer was slamming into his head with every beat of his heart, and it just got worse as they kept going, the material not interesting enough to get past the pain. He would’ve given up and gone to sleep if he didn’t have to do this damn paper with Todoroki. The bastard couldn’t keep a secret for his life so in order to keep his reputation, he had to keep going, even through the worst headache he’d had in a long time. But with every beat of the hammer, he was losing his resolve. It was only his drive not to be weak that kept him going.
“Bakugou? Did you hear what I said?” Todoroki said, startling Katsuki a little.
“Of course I did. I was just thinking.” Katsuki snapped, trying to brush it off, ignoring the fact that he actually hadn’t heard what Todoroki had said. He hoped it wasn’t important.
“Thinking.” Todoroki echoed, but it wasn’t a question or a challenge. It was just a statement.
“That’s what I fucking said.”
“Are you alright, Bakugou?” Todoroki asked, and Katsuki could almost hear a touch of concern in the monotone. It pissed him off, though he wasn’t sure exactly why. “You’ve been strangely quiet today.”
“I’m fine.” Katsuki sneered, a violent threat in his voice.
Todoroki pursed his lips at him, but only continued on with what he was saying. Katsuki struggled to keep focusing on it, Todoroki’s voice was soothing in its quiet volume, but he couldn’t process the words the bastard was actually saying.
Dammit. He couldn’t keep doing this. If he actually turned in the report they were working on now, Katsuki would get the worst grade he’d ever gotten in his life, even though he very much understood the topic. His headache was just too bad, and the room had only gotten steadily hotter as they’d worked, and Katsuki couldn’t take it anymore, his reputation be damned. He’d just blame it on Todoroki not properly cooling his room and sweating him out of it.
“I’m done, I’m going to bed.” Katsuki said, gathering up his stuff as quickly as he could. He was a little uncoordinated in his haste, but he blamed it on the heat. “We’ll just do this tomorrow.”
Todoroki didn’t even show his surprise beyond a raised eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to do this in one night.”
“It’s not my fault your room is like a sauna and your voice is like a fucking icepick in my head!” Katsuki snapped, absolutely done with today. The room was so hot he was starting to get a little dizzy, and standing just made his vision swim for a moment. “How the fuck am I supposed to focus on court cases and legalities when the room is a million degrees and you won’t fucking shut up?”
That seemed to actually surprise Shouto, though it still only showed in his eyes. “Bakugou, my room isn’t hot. And I was only talking since you wouldn’t. You’ve barely said anything tonight.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes, and then had to pinch his nose and shut his eyes when the room blurred, playing it off as annoyance. Dammit, he was so fucking hot. “You wouldn’t notice, you have that stupid temperature thing because of your quirk.”
“I turn on the ac when I have guests, Bakugou.” Todoroki said, and Katsuki scoffed. He was sweating far too much for that to be true. He didn’t doubt that Todoroki was lying, but there was no way the ac was actually on right now. The bastard must’ve just set it to the wrong setting, he wouldn’t be the first in their class to struggle with the thermostat, to his perpetual annoyance.
“Bakugou, I may not be an expert, but you do not look well.” Todoroki said, which only infuriated him more. If he was suddenly going to care about Katsuki, the least he could do was fucking show it. Katsuki knew not everyone wore their emotions on their sleeve, but Todoroki never seemed to have any emotion at all, not even when dealing with Katsuki.
“I’m fine.” Katsuki hissed, parroting what he said earlier, with the same vitriol.
“You clearly are not.” Todoroki said firmly. “I can regulate my own temperature, you’re correct, but I can still feel the temperature around me. My room isn’t hot, and you’re sweating like it’s summer. I think you should see Recovery Girl.”
Katsuki growled an incoherent shout. “I don’t need that old bat, there’s nothing wrong with me beyond suffering from dealing with all you idiots. Fuck off!”
Katsuki turned to leave, but his vision swam so quickly that he had to stop mid-step. His hand came to his eyes, trying to steady himself, forcing himself to push through the heat. But before he could get his body to work, his backpack slipped through his fingers as his vision went black.
“-ugou. Bakugou. Bakugou.” Someone was shaking him, insistence in their voice. He groaned lightly, his eyes fluttering, his head pounding even harder than before. He squinted, and Todoroki then came into focus. He was wearing a look Katsuki had never seen before. It looked almost like worry, but Katsuki couldn’t tell.
He groaned again, and then he felt something blissfully cool against his forehead, easing his headache and the unbearable heat he was trapped in. He sighed, his eyes managing to stay open now. He was in Todoroki’s arms, with Todoroki’s right hand pressed against his forehead. He remembered that Todoroki’s right side was cool, and Katsuki wanted to just sink into him.
“Wha- happen?” Katsuki said, the act of speaking a struggle it had never been before.
“You passed out.” Todoroki said, a frown tugging at his lips. “You have a fever. I’m going to take you to Recovery Girl.”
Todoroki began to push them both upwards, but Katsuki shook his head. “No! No. ‘M fine. Just… just need to sleep it off. ‘M fine.”
“You are not fine, Bakugou.” Todoroki groaned, and Katsuki could’ve sworn he heard concern and frustration in Todoroki’s voice. But that was impossible, Katsuki never got emotion from Todoroki, no matter how hard he tried. “You literally just passed out. You’re sick, Bakugou.”
“I don’t get sick.” Katsuki said, and that was completely true. Katsuki got sick so rarely that he couldn’t even remember the last time. “Be fine. Just need sleep. Don’t need help.”
“You can’t stand on your own.” Todoroki said, deadpan. Katsuki frowned at that, and he opened his mouth again, but Todoroki cut him off. “If you say you’re fine one more time, I’m going to throw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and drag you to Recovery Girl.”
Katsuki pouted at that, and stayed silent for a moment, knowing Todoroki was just as serious with his threats as he was.
“I don’t get sick.” He repeated. “Just need to sleep this off.”
Todoroki pursed his lips again, clearly torn between what to do, before he sighed, obviously coming to a decision. “Fine. I’ll take you to your room, but only for now. I can’t tell if this is just your pride or if this is actually how your body works. If you get worse, I’m taking you to Recovery Girl no matter what you say.”
Katsuki nodded, and went to get up, pushing himself up on noodly arms. He immediately fell back into Todoroki. Thankfully, Todoroki didn’t comment on his weakness, he just wrapped Katsuki’s arm around his shoulder and pushed them both up. With Todoroki’s support, Katsuki could mostly walk, his feet dragging a little as he couldn’t raise his feet off the ground very high.
The elevator ride down to the fourth floor was silent, almost awkward. Katsuki couldn’t find the strength to say anything, but Todoroki didn’t seem to mind the silence. Right now, he just wanted his bed more than anything in the world.
Their next obstacle was Katsuki’s door, as he always locked it when he wasn’t in his room. He couldn’t remember where he put his keys at first, patting down his pockets. Suddenly a hand reached into his back pocket and he yelped a little at the surprise, his reaction was too slow, but he still hated being startled with touch. Had for a long time. Todoroki then handed him his keys, with a sheepish look on his face. “I saw them in your pocket. Thought I’d save you the trouble.”
Katsuki took the keys and opened his door, using the door handle to keep himself up, trying to keep himself upright on his own. Todoroki went to follow him in and Katsuki growled again.
“No one goes in my room.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” Todoroki said, a little snippy, uncaring that he was stepping into Katsuki’s space.
Todoroki turned on the lights, and Katsuki hissed as his headache spiked, unconsciously pressing himself into the nape of Todoroki’s neck. Todoroki immediately turned the light off with a quiet “sorry.” before he started walking again.
Katsuki flopped into bed with all the grace of a newborn giraffe, but his bed was cool (he had special sheets so he wouldn’t overheat as he slept, his parents had designed them for him) and that was all that mattered to him. He rolled onto his side, felt something lift his legs into the bed, and he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow, just barely feeling a cool hand brush his sweaty bangs out of his face.
“- been asleep for a little while… nothing’s changed…”
“- not sure, Todoroki. He really doesn’t get sick that often. I think the last time was over five years ago. Even I don’t really remember.”
He knew that voice. Goddammit, he knew that voice and he went to glare at fucking useless Deku, but he was still squinting in the darkness he’d woken up in, lessening its effect. Todoroki had left the door open a little, the hall lights shining in his room far too brightly for his headache. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, but his mind wasn’t as fuzzy as before. Still way too fucking hot though.
“You got fucking Deku?” Katsuki growled, refusing to admit that it sounded more like a whine.
“I didn’t know anyone else who would know how your body works when it’s sick.” Todoroki said matter-of-factly, coming back over to Katsuki’s bed. He was mostly forgiven when he put his cool hand back on Katsuki’s burning forehead, getting a soft noise Katsuki didn’t even know he made.
“Well, his parents will know, for sure.” Deku said to Todoroki. Katsuki glared harder. “I can call them, figure out where to go from here.”
Todoroki nodded.
Deku then handed Todoroki a rather big box that Katsuki surprisingly recognized. Auntie Inko knew how injured they got in training, especially since Deku wouldn’t fucking stop constantly breaking all of his bones, and had gifted him the same first aid kit that Deku held in his hands. Actually, it really wasn’t a first aid kit but a mini hospital, with so many things Katsuki didn’t know when he’d ever use some of them. (Seriously, Auntie, when was he gonna need a goddamn stethoscope?) He’d only taken it because his mother would’ve been mad if he made Auntie cry, not that he could handle her tears anyways, and, well… secretly he could appreciate the gesture. He never understood why Auntie continued to try and take care of him even though he really wanted nothing to do with her son, but he supposed that’s just how she was. Deku too, but he was way more annoying about it.
“You should take his temperature, if he’ll let you.” Deku said, still talking to Todoroki and not him. “You’ll have a way better chance with him than I will.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” Katsuki shouted, immediately regretting the loudness when he made his own headache worse.
“Sorry, Kacchan.” Katsuki just glared at him, fighting off the wince he’d just given himself. “I- I’ll just go call Uncle Masaru now.”
Deku stepped out of the room, and Todoroki set the kit down onto his nightstand, digging through it with one hand, keeping his right hand on Katsuki’s forehead.
“There are three thermometers in here.” Todoroki stated, seemingly a little overwhelmed by Auntie’s overprotective nature. “And they’re all different.”
Katsuki made a noncommittal noise. Something then pushed gently at his mouth, and he turned his glare to Todoroki.
“I can’t use the other ones, I’ve been cooling you off too much.” Todoroki said, poking him again. “They won’t give accurate results. This is the only one left.”
“I can do it myself.” Katsuki said, trying to move his mouth as little as possible.
Todoroki sighed, definitely sounding frustrated. “Bakugou, will you please just put your damn pride aside for two minutes? I just want to help you. You’re my friend. Let me help you.”
This was the first he’d heard about them being friends, though he supposed he had started paying more attention to Todoroki after their supplemental classes. He hadn’t thought it had been reciprocated though. But even if they were friends now, this was something he couldn’t allow. He wasn’t weak, he didn’t need help, not even Todoroki’s.
Not even if a dark part of him wanted to accept it.
Moving his body was like trying to move through molasses, but he did eventually get his arm out from under the blanket (when did he get a blanket?) and he reached for the thermometer. Todoroki sighed, but gave it to him. This time, the silence was awkward as they waited for the thermometer to beep. He wasn’t sure why this time was so different.
Deku was the one who broke it when he came back in. He still didn’t like anyone in his room, but he didn’t have the strength to blast the fucker out, even if he did have the sweat.
“Uncle said that there’s not much we can do except keep him cool, the illness just has to run its course.” Deku frowned, trying not to talk directly to Todoroki and failing. “And. um. Auntie Mitsuki said, um, not to take any of his, uh, ‘bullshit’. Her words, not mine.”
Todoroki just nodded. Katsuki didn’t know what that meant.
Once the thermometer finally beeped, Todoroki withdrew it without asking permission. Oh, that’s what that meant. Damn hag, and damn Deku. Todoroki took everything too literally, Deku should’ve fucking translated his mother’s stupid words.
“39.27 (102.7)” The monotone was back. Katsuki felt an emotion he didn’t know how to describe, but it wasn’t pleasant. “That’s higher than I was expecting, though unsurprising.”
“Yeah, Uncle said when Kacchan gets sick, he really gets sick.”
Katsuki growled at him again, wanting to yell and blow him up but trying not to be stupid and repeat past mistakes. His head was still throbbing from the earlier shout.
“I-I-I should go, Todoroki.” Deku said, shrinking away from him. “I think I’m just making it worse. He doesn’t want me here.” No. No he didn’t. Especially since he wouldn’t stop talking about him like he wasn’t there in his own fucking room. “Do you want to come with me? I’m sure Kirishima wouldn’t mind looking after him.”
The beat in between Deku’s question and Todoroki’s answer made the emotion he had worse.
“No. I’ll keep him cool for now. It’s no trouble.” Katsuki didn’t know whether that made him happy or annoyed. God, he hated emotions, they were literally the worst. It was so much easier to just be angry all the time.
“Don’t forget to not overuse your quirk, Todoroki. Just let one of us know if you get too cold. We’ll figure something out.”
Todoroki just nodded and Deku very quickly left the room. If Katsuki was more childish like his friends, he would’ve flipped him off as he left. But Deku didn’t deserve what little energy he had, and closing the door until very little light was left was at least the decent thing to do.
“You can leave, IcyHot.” Katsuki grumbled. “I’m-mmph.” Suddenly Todoroki’s cool hand was over his mouth. Katsuki did not like that, he didn’t like anyone touching his face and it had only gotten worse since the-incident-that-shall-not-be-named. He nipped at Todoroki’s hand, and it quickly returned to his forehead, but the message to shut up was loud and clear.
“Stop saying you’re fine.” Todoroki snapped, and Katsuki thought he almost sounded angry. Katsuki didn’t know that Todoroki could even get angry. “Stop lying to me. I don’t care about your stupid pride, and I cannot understand why you won’t let it go for two seconds for your friends. I want to help you but I can’t if you won’t let me. Why won’t you let me? Do you… do you hate me?”
Grand displays of emotion were hard for him. Grand displays of emotion coming from Todoroki were another beast entirely. Katsuki had no idea how to respond to this, and if he wasn’t sick, he wouldn’t have responded to it beyond anger. But right now, with a fever he could no longer deny, his mind didn’t immediately go to the rage he used to shield him from emotions he didn’t like. It just took much energy that he didn’t have, and he hated himself for his weakness.
“No.” Was Katsuki’s response, and it was a lot more awkward than he’d wanted it to be.
“Then why won’t you stop lying to me?” Todoroki said, looking just as uncomfortable as Katsuki was. But apparently, not uncomfortable enough to shut up and let this go. “I thought you respected me, at least a little.”
Shit. Katsuki did not like letting people know when he respected them. They never responded in a way that Katsuki liked or could handle, either acting all smug about it or like it was obvious that they deserved it. Both reactions drove Katsuki up the wall.
Thinking about this was too hard, even with the soothing coolness Todoroki was projecting. He didn’t do emotions, and everything he was feeling right now just made him even uncomfortable in his skin. He’d take the fever and headache over this any day.
“I didn’t lie to you, I’m fine by myself.” Katsuki said. “I can take care of myself.”
“Except you won’t.” Todoroki snapped again and Katsuki internally cursed at his mother for putting this idea into Todoroki’s stupid head. “Taking care of yourself would’ve been canceling our plans, or going to see Recovery Girl. You refused to do either. That’s not taking care of yourself. You couldn’t even admit to me that you weren’t feeling well after you literally passed out in my arms. You’re lucky I was there to catch you, what if you weren’t with me? What if it happened when you’d stepped into the hall and I hadn’t followed you? You might’ve gotten a concussion or worse. If you don’t hate me, then why can’t you let me care about you?”
Katsuki unconsciously curled a little into himself, his quills puffing up, ready to lash out at any moment. His head hurt, and even with the frosty air Todoroki was creating he was on fire, he just couldn’t deal with this right now. Being sick for the first time in years was already way too much for him, he’d never felt so shitty in his life, and having fucking Todoroki of all people see him this weak made him so uncomfortable he didn’t have a word for it. Katsuki didn’t understand why Todoroki was so upset, and thinking about it hurt his head too much. He didn’t even have an answer for Todoroki. He didn’t have an answer when his friends asked him the same question after they were fed up with his insistence on independence and refusing to accept their help. He’d learned the hard way that sometimes he had to depend on other people, but that hadn’t made it any easier to deal with. So he’d rather just not deal with it at all.
After a fair amount of silence, Todoroki just sighed, sounding resigned. This was the most emotion Katsuki had seen out of Todoroki since he’d met the bastard. Katsuki thought that was very rude, and he should’ve gotten this a lot earlier. Though, he could do without the annoyance and anger. “You should get some sleep, Bakugou.”
Well, now he was purposefully not gonna do that, even though he was exhausted. Once spite was activated there was no stopping it. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Then stop being an idiot.” Todoroki hissed.
Katsuki glared at Todoroki but it didn’t matter since Todoroki still wasn’t looking at him, only straight ahead.
“Don’t fucking insult me.”
“I’ll do whatever I want, thanks.” Todoroki said, matching his energy. “Since that’s all you do, I get to do it too.”
“Oh fuck you!” Katsuki snapped, absolutely done with this stupid bastard, throwing his own words in his face was the last straw. “Get the fuck out of my room! Leave me the fuck alone!”
It was quiet for a minute.
“Fine.”
Todoroki ripped his hand away from Katsuki’s forehead and stood sharply. He walked out without another word, and Katsuki expected the door to slam and prepared himself for it. But Todoroki caught it just before it did, and he closed the door quietly behind him.
Katsuki stared at the door for a moment, almost in disbelief. Todoroki never got angry, let alone to this extreme. He thought even Deku hadn’t seen that before, the damn nerd would’ve said something. Even though Katsuki liked antagonizing Todoroki, liked seeing if he could get the bastard to show emotion, even if it was negative emotions, this didn’t… this didn’t make him feel good. The emotion he hadn’t been able to describe twisted in his gut, making his chest hurt in a way that it never had before. He wanted to get Todoroki riled up, it’s why he talked to him the way he did, the way he purposely tried to push the bastard’s buttons, that was his end goal. He wanted to see Todoroki show some sort of emotion, any sort of emotion.
So why did that make him feel so shitty?
Getting what he wanted never made him feel bad in the past. It was a point of pride for him that he basically always got what he wanted, that he’d earned what he’d wanted. Katsuki was always so sure of himself, he always knew what he wanted, and he did everything he could to get it.
Was this… actually what he wanted? Somehow, he didn’t think so. Which never happened, Katsuki always knew what he wanted, and he never regretted anything. (Well, he regretted a few things but he never let himself think about them so that was basically the same thing.) But the more the silence of the room echoed in his ears, the more he regretted saying any of those things, and not just because he’d lost the hand that had been keeping his headache at a somewhat manageable level. The icepick in his head only seemed to make his actions seem worse, and Katsuki did not like that. Even though he knew he was an asshole with no filter, and no intent on getting one, this felt like he’d gone too far. He’d gone too far a couple of times in his life, and this felt worse than all of them.
With the door closed, heat was starting to build up in his room, and the blanket that he still didn’t know how he got was kicked around to his legs. His hand flopped around to his nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing the remote for his ac unit. He turned it down several degrees, and didn’t have the energy to put it back. His hand just fell to his bed, and his eyes closed on their own accord. Even though he’d wanted to stay up to spite Todoroki, despite the fact that he couldn’t remember why anymore, his body just started to shut down on its own. At least sleep would be a reprieve from the overwhelming pain in his chest and his head, so he surrendered to the thick haze of sleep and hoped he’d wake up without this agony.
Blood. Blood and screams and death and fear. Katsuki spun around, lost and scared, wanting to run but unsure of where he could run to. Screams rang in his ears from all directions, each one different yet full of the same agony. Each one echoed their pain into his heart, overwhelming him with emotions he couldn’t handle. Unable to take anymore, his legs took off running without thinking, his chest heaving as the torturous screams pierced his chest.
He skidded to a stop as an image flashed in his mind, his own scream blending into the background. Deku’s body was still crackling with energy, his green lightning dying as Deku lay still. His arms and legs were both black, bent in horrific ways, and Katsuki’s stomach lurched as his gaze finally landed on Deku’s chest. His ribs had pierced through his skin, his chest cavity a mess of blood and bone, surprise still written on Deku’s lax face, his green eyes dull and lifeless. Again, Katsuki’s legs took off without his consent, tears streaming down Katsuki’s face as nausea built in his stomach.
His arms flailed as he slipped on something wet and sticky, crashing into some sort of small building. Looking up, Katsuki screamed again, seeing Kirishima spread eagle across the top, his head hanging down, his neck brutally slit open, dripping blood into the fiery red hair he was so famous for. Katsuki slipped again in his haste to get up, realizing with a sickening jolt that he was slipping on Kirishima’s blood.
“Make it stop.” Katsuki sobbed. “Make it stop.”
He finally got up again, only to freeze in place. In front of him was Ashido, lying in a heap, her neck bone protruding from her skin as her head twisted the other way. As more and more tears spilled down his cheeks, he turned and turned and turned. Jirou, her own earphones wrapped around her red, raw neck. Sero hanging from his own tape, his limp hands still stuck from trying to free himself. Kaminari’s head soaked, water still dripping from his motionless mouth. His world began to spin, and he crashed to the ground, curling into a ball.
“Make it stop.” Katsuki covered his ears and shut his eyes, trying to block it all out. “Please, make it stop.”
The world went silent.
Katsuki warily opened his eyes. Vast ground filled only with empty space. He was too scared to try and speak, terrified that the death and screams and blood would come back. No matter where he looked, all he found was emptiness until he came across Todoroki, laying on the ground too, facing away from him.
He crawled over hesitantly, his mouth moving to speak Todoroki’s name but his vocal cords refused to make any noise. Katsuki’s hand hovered over Todoroki’s body for a moment, not seeing anything on his red side. Maybe he was just unconscious? His hand finally landed on Todoroki’s arm, frowning as it was cool. No, no, his red was his fire side, he should’ve been warm. His hand jerked as he pulled it back, causing Todoroki to roll over.
Katsuki screamed again, his voice laden with agony as Todoroki’s head lolled to the side. His white side had completely disappeared, charred to ash, his skin covered in burns matching the scar on his face. He cowered away, his hands dragging him away from Todoroki’s dead body. He slipped again, curling back into a ball, sobbing.
Everyone he had ever cared about was gone, and Katsuki was alone. Emptiness beat in his ears, the silence louder than any of the screams had been. His sobs echoed across the vastness, his breath the only other sound. He longed for his friends, wanted someone to still be with him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he would have more than himself to keep him company, to make him smile just a little, to make him let out a breathy laugh. To watch with amusement as they did something stupid, being far too noticeable when he was socially awkward with his stupid confused face, silently sitting with him when they knew he wanted company but couldn’t take any more noise. Grabbing him in one arm hugs, ruffling his hair and dodging when he swatted at them, squishing him when they were all crammed together in too small of a space to fit all of them. He wanted that back, he wanted them back so badly, he’d do anything.
“Anything, huh?” The back of his neck burned, and he was lifted off the ground. He writhed in the grip, sludge rising from the ground to latch onto his body, forcing him into submission.
“No, no, please, stop!” Katsuki wailed, the sludge only growing stronger, binding his body in muck. The heat on the back of his neck increased, and another hand forced his head forward, his eyes only able to focus on Todoroki’s lifeless body. “Not like this, not like this!”
“Aw, I thought you said ‘anything’.” The voice taunted. “Don’t you love them? Wouldn’t you do anything for them? You know we have an offer for you, you remember our last one.”
“Can’t.” Katsuki wanted to shake his head, but the grip was too strong. “Won’t betray them.”
“Then die with them.”
Katsuki couldn’t move, his entire body now encased in the sludge, could barely talk as the goo began to tease at going in his mouth and down his throat.
“Not again.” Katsuki gasped, feeling the horrid taste of the sludge as it crept slowly, maliciously, into his mouth. “Please not again.”
A mocking laugh, and then the sludge forced itself down his throat, cutting off his air. Katsuki panicked, writhing with great strength, but useless, so uselessly. The world spun one last time as he grew dizzy from hypoxia, and he fell into darkness with taunting laughter echoing around him.
Katsuki jolted up in bed, a silent scream on his lips. His eyes rolled at the heat of his room, just as dizzy as he was in his fever induced nightmare, practically seeing the waves of heat energy radiating from his furniture, his walls. He had to cool down. If he didn’t cool down, he thought he was going to die, his body melting into his bed.
His room had a shower. The door was right there. He just had to get there, the water could cool him down. He pushed himself up, his arms too shaky to hold him for long. Maneuvering his body was like trying to walk straight in a gyroscope. He stepped forward with his left foot, shaking as he stood, desperately trying to go forward. His right foot was next, but it was still tangled up in the blanket of unknown origin. He tried to pull it free, but another strong bout of dizziness sent him tumbling to the floor.
The world faded in and out as he lay on the floor, his arms trying to push himself up, but he crashed back down every time. He just didn’t have the strength to get up, the attempts draining what little he had until he just gave up. His vision flickered in and out, his sweat soaking into his carpet, his heart carrying agony all over his body, igniting each nerve with a bonfire, his head pounding like a thunderstorm’s rage.
“Sorry to disturb you…”
“Eh, no worries, Todoroki. If Bakubro needs me, then I’m there, no matter what.”
Even though the door was closed, Katsuki could still hear the voices through it. The dorm walls carried sound better than any speaker.
His door quietly creaked open, driving another spike of pain into his head. “Bakugou? Hey man, are you- oh shit!”
Light blinded him for a moment, before he felt a cold arm heave him up, cradling him in iciness. He whimpered, the sudden shock of frigidity making him wince. A warmer hand came to his forehead before jerking back with a hiss.
“He’s burning up.” Kirishima gasped, cursing again.
“Kirishima, get Recovery Girl.” Todoroki ordered, taking charge of the situation. “I’m gonna try to cool him down.”
Kirishima nodded, his face set in his ‘serious mode’. His best friend should’ve been a comfort, but seeing Kirishima’s frown and furrowed brow just made him a little scared. Kirishima was one of the smiliest people he’d ever met, and Katsuki always told him that his face would get stuck like that. It was always laughed off, bringing out that same smile, which always made Katsuki roll his eyes. But he still liked seeing it, and when it was missing, Katsuki didn’t like it, not one bit.
“Don’t use your quirk, use his shower.” Kirishima said, standing. “Anything lower than room temperature is too cold, you’ll send him into shock.”
Todoroki just nodded, and Katsuki wondered if he’d already known that, or if his temperature regulation thing kept him from getting fevers. Kirishima bolted out the door, his steps thudding down the hall then the stairs.
Another arm came to his knees, and he was lifted into the air. His vision swirled again, able to tell he was moving but unable to process anything else. His legs were gently placed on the ground, but then the sound of a massive waterfall assaulted him and he turned back into the soft, wintry physique. But then he was pulled away from it, and he didn’t know whether that felt good or bad. The waterfall then disappeared, and he saw that Todoroki had switched the tap to shower.
The arm came back to his knees, and another dizzying bit of motion finished with water pelting at him, as he was pressed against something that didn’t feel hot or cold. Even though the water droplets were needle-sharp, they were cool, and Katsuki sank into it, feeling the water soothe the bonfire under his skin. He wasn’t sure how long he was under the spray before his mind finally cleared enough to focus on his surroundings. Katsuki was laying against Todoroki, who was holding him up by his waist, in Katsuki’s shower. Katsuki decided to be embarrassed about this later, when he didn’t feel so shitty and when Todoroki wasn’t keeping him from drowning in his own shower.
“‘roki?” Katsuki groaned, his voice weak and quiet. But thankfully Todoroki still heard him.
“Yes, Bakugou?”
“I don’ feel so good.” Katsuki said, looking up at Todoroki. He must’ve looked like a drowned cat, his hair soaked and stuck to his forehead, his clothes soaked to the skin, his skin showing through his white tank top, Katsuki didn’t think he’d ever looked so pathetic in his life.
“No shit.” Todoroki muttered grumpily. “You couldn’t have said that a few hours ago?”
Katsuki ducked his head a little, his cheeks were already flushed but the pink got a little stronger. “Couldn’t. Can’t be weak. Specially not in front of you.”
That made Todoroki pause, and then meet his eye again. “Me?”
Katsuki nodded shakily.
“Why?” Todoroki breathed, the shower louder than both of their voices.
“Because… you’re so strong.” Katsuki mumbled, the fever that still raged within him loosening his tongue. If he were coherent, he’d rather be caught dead than saying shit like this, but he was still so hot and the water felt so good and his mind felt so worn thin that he just kept talking. “Noticed the first day I saw you. Never met anyone like you. Stronger than me. Pissed me off.”
Todoroki scoffed. “Of course it would.” a sigh. “But why would that mean you can’t be ‘weak’ around me?”
“Weakness doesn’t get notice. ‘N like that. Wanted notice.”
There was another beat of silence. Katsuki turned his head into Todoroki’s cooler side, using him as an ice pack for his still aching head.
“Are you saying that you thought I wouldn’t notice you if I thought you were weak?” Todoroki murmured, his voice low and uncertain.
His body was starting to get wracked with tremors, but he managed a nod through it. He couldn’t tell if he was shivering or shaking, just feeling his body vibrate, and the bonfire inside him was starting to win the battle against the water. His body went limp as the fire began to consume him, his eyes rolling around in his head.
“I, I… Bakugou? Bakugou, what’s wrong? Bakugou!” Todoroki’s voice jumped in emotion, in worry, but Katsuki could no longer differentiate the emotions. Todoroki was little more than a red and white blur now, Katsuki’s world spinning faster than a top, black spots dotting his vision, growing larger with each rotation. His mind lost all sense of reality, darkness swirling around him like a maelstrom. Voices again rang in his ears, but he couldn’t distinguish one from another.
“-hear me? Bakugou, can you hear me?”
“He was talking a minute ago, but…”
“-unresponsive -get him to the infirmary- covery girl can- hurry…”
Someone grabbed his arms, hauling him into the air, and the sudden movement had him blacking out entirely, falling into the black hole the maelstrom had created.
~~
Consciousness was murky, muddying his perception into something unintelligible as he slipped in and out of the darkness always on the edge of his mind. He wasn’t sure how long it took for his mind to clear, but the longer time went on, he sluggishly began to become more aware of his surroundings. He discovered new pain in his hand, but the agony in his head had subsided a great deal, though it wasn’t entirely gone. He was laying on something familiar but uncomfortable, his body propped up against it. To his immense relief, he found that he wasn’t on fire for the first time in what felt like days.
Dazedly, he opened his eyes, immediately squinting at the bright overhead lights. It took him a minute to adjust, but the light didn’t increase his headache much, so he managed easily enough. White walls came into focus, along with cool, white sheets on the bed he couldn’t remember getting in, with a light blue canvas on his chest. He pulled lightly at it, confused, and pulled his hand up to his vision. No wonder it hurt, there was an IV stabbed through his hand, drawing out a noise of discomfort. He felt like he hadn’t slept in years, his mind struggling to keep up with the world around him.
Footsteps had his head immediately turning, his instincts sharper than any discombobulation, and he made another discovery, movement didn’t make him dizzy anymore. But that didn’t answer the question of what had happened, but the old woman walking towards him at least contributed to it. He knew this room, this was the infirmary, but he couldn’t remember how he got here.
“Ah, young Bakugou, I was wondering when you’d come back to us.” The old bat said, sounding far too cheerful.
He frowned at her, trying and failing to process her words in time as Recovery Girl walked up to his bed. His head still swam in uncertainty, cognizance lagging out like one of his friends’ video games. She stood on one of her little step-stools, coming up to his level, patting his hand gently before putting something uncomfortable in his ear. He groaned, attempting to turn away, but she cupped his cheek, gently but firmly keeping him in place.
“Keep still, it’s alright.” Her voice was as gentle as her hand, but that didn’t soothe him much. “Just a few seconds more.”
A quiet beeping and she kept her word. “38.44 (101.2). Much better, considering you came in at 40.5 (104.9). Any higher and you might’ve had permanent brain damage.”
Oh shit. That was bad. That was very bad. A brief flash of fear ran up his spine, a spike of anxiety panging in his stomach.
“Wha’ happ’n?” Katsuki asked, his voice hoarse from disuse.
“A stress fever.” She replied, handing him a little paper cup of water. His hand was shaking a little as he took it, but he kept her help to a minimum. “Unsurprising, considering the amount of stress you all are under, you especially. Normally, they’re not an issue, and they fade rather quickly, but you’re a special case. As you know, your sweat can’t cool you down like most people so you’re easily affected by fevers. Since you didn’t come to me, or do anything to reduce it, your fever just worsened and worsened until your body couldn’t take it anymore. You’re very lucky that Todoroki and Kirishima found you when they did.”
Jumbled memories came to the forefront of his mind, of Kirishima’s voice in his room, a hand on his forehead, of Todoroki carrying him, holding him as they lay in the shower. Fuck, that was embarrassing, and the chastising Recovery Girl was giving just made him feel even worse.
“Didn’t notice.” He said, needing to defend himself, his pride leaving him unable to do anything less. After all, it wasn’t like he’d done this on purpose. He may hate being in this damn room, but he wasn’t stupid enough to not seek medical help when he was seriously sick. He just honestly hadn’t noticed something was wrong until it was too late. He’d dealt with plenty of hot and uncomfortable days before so he thought yesterday had been no different. “Not til af’r dinner. Don’t get sick.”
“Yes, young Midoriya said that.” Recovery Girl sighed. “As did your parents when I called them. They said since they’re currently in Madrid, they’d do their best, but the flight home is rather long, even without layovers. Hopefully, by the time they do get here, you’ll be fever free.”
Well, his day just got a lot worse. Katsuki hated it when his parents had to pick him up from school. He didn’t need his parents to come and fuss over him, he wasn’t a baby.
His unhappiness must’ve shown on his face, since Recovery Girl just tutted at him. “Give them a break, you gave them quite a scare. You’ve gotten very good at that.”
Katsuki huffed, definitely not pouting.
“Really, I should’ve expected something like this to happen.” She muttered. He cocked his head in confusion. “It’s been a week since I’ve had one of you in here, and if someone from 1A isn’t in here, something is very wrong.”
He had to admit, that seemed like solid logic. He was classmates with the biggest dumbasses he’d ever met, and they were all klutzy and accident prone, and that was off the battlefield.
“Speaking of your classmates,” ah hell, what do those idiots want now? “when you’re feeling up to it, you’ll have plenty of visitors.”
Oh fuck no, he was not doing that. His classmates were so emotional, crying and pitying and all sorts of terrible shit he hated being around. He got uncomfortable when one of his friends was upset, he couldn’t take the whole class. Leaving before Recovery Girl said he could sounded like a much better option. He’d rather get yelled at than deal with all of his dumbasses.
“Try to get out of this bed and I’ll sedate you.” Recovery Girl said bluntly. Katsuki deflated, miserably becoming resigned to his fate. Obviously, this was just going to be one of the shittiest days of his life and he couldn’t do anything about it.
“I’ll keep them from overwhelming you.” She said sympathetically, patting his hand again, and that was at least something. Normally, he would’ve snapped that he didn’t need her pity, but he could tell it wasn’t pity. He didn’t quite know what it was, but anything was better than pity. “But for right now, you should get some sleep. Let your body’s natural processes heal you. I’d much rather have your body heal itself, I don’t like how high a dosage of fever reducer I have to give you to help you fight this. I want to take you off that as soon as I can.”
Ah, that explained the IV, and why his mind wasn’t working right. He’d seen his idiot friends on too much cold medicine before, he’d just never experienced it himself until now. It was a lot more disconcerting than he would’ve thought. Next time, he’d have to watch more closely when one of his idiots got sick, this fucking sucked.
Sleep did sound like a fantastic idea, though. Keeping up with this conversation was taking far too much energy than it should’ve, and Katsuki was just fucking done. Even better, if he slept the rest of the day away, he could avoid all of the extras and idiots who wanted to ‘visit’ him and annoy him with their presence. The medication was no doubt keeping his spite under control, as when Recovery Girl stepped down to do other shit he didn’t give a fuck about, he could just close his eyes and let the exhaustion that been on the edge of his mind since he woke up take him without much resistance.
#whumptober2023#no.1#no.2#no.3#no.7#no.13#no.15#swooning#thermometer#delirium#make it stop#can you hear me#cold compress#I'm fine#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#sick bakugou katsuki#shouto todoroki#kirishima eijirou#todobaku#fever#fever dream#also on ao3
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What if Brok feel sympathy for someone?
It's actually the first time I've written something like this, so it may not be perfect. But I hope you like it. Enjoy reading.
You are most likely one of the allies of Kratos, Atreus and Mimir, who helps the restless teenager find Týr. Brok is a simple dwarf, if these three trust you, then so does he, but know that he will be watching you. Trust, but verify. But he is also glad that the lad has a new friend who helps him.
Over time, he will begin to understand that he suspects you of nothing and calm down. I hope you have a sense of humor, because Brok appreciates it, and if you have it, then he will be twice as happy. Just sit and tell each other jokes, what could be better?
By the way, you should get along with his brother. If you get along with Sindri, then it's bonus points to earn his favor even faster.
If you need something, be it armor or weapons, then Brok will always help. When you return home, he always calls you to him to inquire about your findings and just listen to your voice.
Honestly, he really likes praise, especially from you, for all his work. Every time after your compliments, he feels proud and is ready to grin at his brother that his work is found much better.
Do you know how to cook? Gods, he's starting to love you more and more. Brok is not picky and can eat anything if there is a lot of meat, but if you cook, for example, one of his once favorite dishes that he has already forgotten, he will praise you for the rest of the day. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
By the way, if you are shy, then this gives him an excuse to tease you to see your cute blush.
Soon he will begin to understand that he cares about you, but he will not immediately begin to do something. He wants to think things through so that you don't feel like shit around him.
Occasionally his head is in clouds, wondering what special he can give you. The gift, of course, will be made exclusively by his hands. He will often fail, because to do something neat, with patterns, with some intricate meaning is not a very familiar thing for him.
I think Sindri would very quickly suspect that his brother is working hard on something and is racking his brain, because fine work is not for him. Of course, he will offer Brok help, to which he will hear that he will cope on his own, and he should not pry into other people's affairs. But after thinking about it, he still turned to Sindri for help. It seems to me that Sindri would guess to whom and why Brok wants to make a gift, since he is very observant and insightful. But when he himself heard from his brother why he was doing this, then the puzzle would finally come together for him. As he thought, this gift is meant for you! However, this is not surprising for him, since he often sees you chatting and joking with each other. He is sincerely happy for his brother and hopes that you are not indifferent to Brok either.
They will work together on this thing so that it turns out to be very skillful. Brok told his brother exactly what he was up to, Sindri listened attentively, imagining in his head what this thing should look like. After thinking a little together, they set to work. During work, you could hear quiet swearing and arguments from their shop, so as not to attract too much attention, but you would definitely be interested in what the Huldra Brothers are working so hard on. At the sight of you, Sindri almost swallowed his tongue, but he pulled himself together and told you that they were making a 'trinket' for the customer. If you wanted to look, then Brok would have already intervened and said that there was nothing to look at yet, since he and his brother had not yet decided how this 'trinket' would look. You might have thought that Brok was too calm, most likely, this thing is very important, so you wished them good luck and said that you would invite them to dinner later.
Sindri can see from his brother's face that this gift must be special for you. Therefore, he decided to put his whole soul into realizing his brother's idea in real life. He loves his brother, wishes all the best and wants you to get together if possible.
They will work on the gift that is meant for you, day and night, so that it is perfect. Specially for you.
The day has come when this gift, which carries meaning, was made. Sindri was very happy with the result, while Brok was a little stuck in his thoughts. Did he really do that for you? Will you like it? This is very unusual for him, since he is not particularly used to thinking about this and even more so to ask himself questions. His brother urged him to confess his feelings as soon as possible and give this precious gift. Brok was a little slow, saying that he needed to find the right time for this. Sindri understood him, he would have done the same as his brother, because he is much more nervous than him, so he did not put pressure on him and just cheered him up from time to time.
The time has come when he still decided to take his balls and finally give you a gift and confess his sympathy. He's not some kind of coward, right? In the extreme, autosuggestion helps him calm down. You were in the kitchen, cooking dinner, everyone else was in their rooms, thinking about the further plan of their actions, so that the next day they would try to implement it. Sindri was also in his room, so as not to make his brother nervous once again.
You hear footsteps behind you, realize who they belong to, grin to yourself and wait for what will happen next. Brok calls out to you, and then you turn around to look at him. This dwarf does not particularly like to make long emotional speeches, but Sindri before that suggested to him how to more sensually confess his sympathy. Therefore, Brok combined his brother's advice and his usual straightforward manner of communication.
Brok shows from behind the box, which contains a gift for you. He tried to put his whole soul into it to show how not indifferent you have become to him in such a short period of time. How comfortable it was for him to sit at the table with you, drink mead, tell each other various stories and jokes. Of course, he had met such people, but there were so few of them who could meet his vibe. And he was very happy to realize that a person like you appeared in his life quite by accident.
You didn't have to think long to guess that the 'trinket' that the brothers worked diligently on was actually a gift for you. The warmth has spread inside you, it's very nice to realize that someone loves you and makes such a wonderful gift. But are these feelings mutual? It depends only on you.
If yes, then Brok is very happy, proud of himself, wants to celebrate such an event. But you want not to rush things and tell the others a little later, because now is a difficult time, because Ragnarök is coming, and everyone is on their nerves. But you can tell Sindri, who is ready to faint with joy.
If not, then Brok can understand and accept it, but still leave the gift to you, as if it would serve as a reminder that you are an important person in his life. Hopes for further friendship with you, not avoidance. It would be a pity to lose such a friendship.
Thank you for reading.
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ooh wait have you played three houses?? i saw you mentioned it in one of your recent posts and i got curious. can i ask what are your thoughts on it if you have played it?
also also, have you played pokemon scarlet/violet at all? i’d really love to hear your thoughts on it, especially with its latest dlc ^^ (super sorry i’m grouping two different games in this ask, i didn’t wanna send messages back to back, but feel free to only answer one if you want!)
Oh boy, more opportunities for me the spout nonsense and my odd opinions. I will gladly take it. Buckle up, anon and others reading, because I have a long history with both franchises.
I've been playing Fire Emblem since Fire Emblem: Awakening, then Fates, Heroes, and eventually Three Houses. My take: Awakening is still the best one, but maybe I'm biased. I remember playing it and marrying Chrom on accident, whoops.
Anyways, Three Houses was alright, better than Fates but not better than Awakening. I remember it came out, and I was actually upset because I was in another country on the US release date so I didn't get to play it until I got back. Even when I saw the trailers, I knew I was Golden Deers all the way. Odd, I know, most people prefer the other teams. Claude, Hilda, Marianne, Lysithea, my dears. OH, and before I go on, I just want to say, I hate the female MC. And no, it's not what you think, I only hate her because literally why does her outfit look like that compared to the male MC? Robin from Awakening was always the better protagonist anyways.
After completing the Golden Deers route, I decided I wanted to try and complete all the routes because at that point I disliked a huge majority of the characters. I tried Blue Lions next. At first I didn't really have much of an opinion on Dimitri, but he grew on me eventually, because how could I resist such a miserable brooding man that later gets a soft spot for one person (plus his design was kinda badass)? But I will admit, his behavior immediately post-timeskip was kinda annoying. I thought I would dislike Felix, but shockingly, I didn't, I actually liked him. And you know what? Dedue is CRIMINALLY underrated, he's literally probably the nicest and loyalest dude of all time. He got some hate for his race from some characters, and I actually got heated.
After Blue Lions, I knew I had to play through Black Eagles twice if I wanted the last two routes. However, here's the thing. In both previous routes, Golden Deer and Blue Lions, I had loathed Edelgard. But, I thought to myself, I just needed to try her route and maybe I'll change my mind... Well, I was wrong. Edelgard is probably one of the characters I HATE most in any franchise. And I tried so hard to like her, like I would give her gifts and answer dialogue truthfully, only for the relationship thing to go down. Like damn, okay. I just couldn't stand her. The others in her route were mostly fine, I liked Ferdinand, Bernadetta, Caspar, and Petra. But because of Edelgard, I couldn't even finish her route once and it's still uncompleted to this day.
Now... onto Pokemon.
Fun fact, I completed Pokemon Black and White when I was in first grade and couldn't read everything. Don't ask me how I did it, because I honestly have no clue. I've played every gen since then: Black and White 2, X and Y, Sun and Moon, Ultra Sun and Moon, Sword and Shield, Arceus, Scarlet and Violet. I did indeed preorder the game when it was announced, as I have done for the generations before. Where do you think my username comes from? In most pokemon games, I love collecting shiny pokemon. Shiny.
I was hyped for Scarlet and Violet since the first day it was announced. I lost my mind the day it was first announced and eagerly waited months for it. When it came out, I dropped everything for several days. As a regular fan, I always set this tradition for myself to defeat new pokemon games within or around 24 hours and of course, I did so.
The game itself has a lot of issues, namely the glitches and quality of the frames. But, it's on the switch, so that's to be expected. It felt really rushed in that aspect. I just feel like they could do so much better if they really wanted to, like on par with BOTW or TOTK (those games have bad frames too but at least they look a lot better). As for mechanics, I really missed the mechanics from Arceus, but at least Scarlet and Violet improved upon the poor excuse of the open area that was in Sword and Shield.
Story and characterwise, I'm torn.
Here's what I like: (1) the multiple split routes, (2) certain characters.
(1) It made it feel like you really had a lot to do, and that combined with the open area of the entire map made it seem like a lot. It is a lot. So it's really fun to explore and try to complete everything. Even just walking about, you're bound to get distracted, lost, or find something completely new. I was just playing it a while ago after completing everything and there were still little secrets I didn't notice the first time around.
(2) Arven, my god, do I love a guy with mommy AND daddy issues. And he has a dog? I'm hooked. I didn't expect to get attached to him, but I did. I actually prefer his route purely because of the story within it with his companion. I didn't see that coming, and I was so worked up over it. Another character I like, Director Clavell. A good supporting professor, you love to see it. Wish he showed up more though.
Here's what I dislike: (1) the villains, (2) the gym leaders, and (3) other characters, (4) the leveling system. (5) I'll talk about the dlc last.
(1) We haven't had a good villain team in a while. Black and White was super memorable with N, X and Y's Lysandre with Team Flare was a joke, Sun and Moon's Team Skull with Guzma was actually good because they were funny and non-threatening, Sword and Shield with Team Yell was actual trash, and this Team Star being bad guys but not really bad guys was actually so boring. Let's roll it back to Team Aqua literally planning to recreate a great flood or Team Magma planning to create havoc with volcanoes, Team Plasma that wanted to liberate Pokemon, or Team Galactic that were going to harness the power of time/space/universe and their leader is trapped/died in an empty dimension. They don't make Pokemon villains like they used to, huh?
(2) The gym leaders are very forgettable this time around. Like, they don't play much of a role aside battling, and after that you don't really see them again at all. It's a shame, because some of them have potential for greater use and have really good designs. Not to mention, they were all weak as hell.
(3) The Champion was a let down. Geeta (I had to look up her name). I was iffy when I first saw images of her, I didn't like her design but I just decided to go with the flow and I'll probably change my mind. I didn't. She's as forgettable of a champion as Alder and Diantha were. At least we saw Leon in the SwSh a lot and we got to hear from characters about how strong he was. Geeta wasn't like that at all, her team was a joke. Nemona as a rival was annoying, she got on my nerves from the first few moments we met her. I think Penny had potential, but I just didn't like her.
(4) The leveling system was really annoying. What happened was, I tried to complete the other two routes first and save the gym leaders for last. However, when I did this, because I didn't have any gym badges, new pokemon caught wouldn't listen even if my other pokemon were like 20 or more levels above them. So I had to pause the other route, just to do some of the gyms that way I could actually use new pokemon. I know they tried the system to prevent people from just cheating the system by automatically getting high-leveled pokemon from friends, but it just got in the way.
(5) DLC so far... not a fan. I mean, it's something. It's there. It's a thing. But it has nothing so far that makes me like it. The rivals are meh, and the region confuses the hell out of me. I don't get why do Scarlet and Violet region of Paldea based off Spain, but then have a DLC with an island that's so very obviously based off Japan. They could've picked anything around Spain but go back to Japan when 4/9 of the regions are already supposedly based off Japan? Idk, it was kind of a let down to be honest. I haven't completed the dlc, so I still have to do that. The new map is small, but I heard the next dlc is supposed to be huge so here's to hoping that one is better?
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Gyomei fic idea 843 that I'm never gonna write but I wish I would-
- And here you stood, basket in hand, filled to the brim with goodies from the infirmary kitchen you knew he'd at least like... if not enjoy. The burn on his arm and break at shoulder were pretty nasty, enough so that you'd begged lady Shinobu to tell him he needed to stay for a day or two, but even her pointed words seemed to crumble before him. 'I'm fine' he'd said, as calm and detached as ever. 'I can rest at home better than I can here.' And that was the end of it.
Or so he'd thought, that is. With broken and burned shoulder now in a sling, you were a bit worried about him. Well... you were actually VERY worried about him, especially knowing how limited his dominant arm was now. Half of you knew he'd heal incredibly quickly, as all the Hashira did, but even so the little voice in your head pestered and pleaded to make sure he wasn't pushing himself too hard. A normal person would be down 6 months with a break like that, but you had no doubts that he'd push himself to stay down no longer than a couple weeks.
Which is exactly why you were here, after all. Basket full of fresh foods to hopefully keep him from hurting himself in the kitchen or garden, and a list of approved exercises and training that lady Kanae had given you to deliver. Yet it was the fact that she'd tasked you with a routine physical that had prevented you from moving any closer up the pathway to his humble home, though.
It's not like this was the first exam you'd done. Far from it, in fact. From corpmen to kakushi, you'd likely examined almost every single person in the Corps at this point, and had seen to every Hashira in the last 5 years at least twice. So why in god's name was this any different? Sure you'd never been to any of the Hashira's private homes, and you definitely hadn't ever shown up and asked them to take their top off, but was this really so different from a normal day at the Butterfly Estate? No... you could absolutely do this!
........
"I can't do this." Okay. Maybe not. Maybe you could just ~forget~ that lady Kanae had asked you to do that. Just hand over the food, explain the exercises she'd requested he do, and be on your way. It was easy enough, it's not like the Stone Hashira was a chatty man by any stretch of the imagination. Just hand it all over, say 10 words, and leave. You could DEFINITELY do that much, sure-
"YN... you've been standing there for a while now. Is everything alright?" The deep timbre you'd come to know so well pierced the anxiety spiral you'd been caught in, forcing you to turn and face him.
"Oh... ha... I didn't see you there Himejima. My apologies. Lady Kocho sent me to deliver some... things, and I guess I got lost in thought." You knew all too well the keen senses the man had, and all you could pray for now was that he was too far up the path to hear your heart hammering against your chest. The fact that he called you by name, however, squashed that hope rather quickly.
"Forgive me for my rudeness" giving a quick bow, the heaviness in your feet wore on as you ascended the hewn stone pathway to the grove of trees partially concealing his estate. "Do you have a moment? I have a few things I need to deliver on her orders." It was easy enough to blame her for your predicament at the moment at least.
"Very well," you watched the large man turn and bid you follow with his good arm, and move up the stone steps. "I will make some tea for us."
#kay's mumbles#demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#gyomei himejima#kny gyomei#and into the junkfic pile it goes~#i just cannot stop thinking about giving that man a once over and then ~oops~ yall kiss#fml so many fics so little time 😩😭
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@ride-a-dromedary Since you asked, here's my beef with Hugh Jackman Meredith Willson's The Music Man Sutton Foster. (No really, that's what the soundtrack album cover looks like.) Basically, I think the revival did a terrible job of capturing the soul and energy of the original show. If you want to read my protracted rant about it, then by all means, continue below.
(Note: I'm mostly going off of the movie adaptation to count for the "original" since it's the version I'm used to, but I also listened to the OBC recording occasionally to see what was shortened for the movie.)
I think the first big thing I should mention is that Hugh Jackman is simply a terrible choice to play Harold Hill. No offense to him, but in my eyes he's always been better at playing a character who seems very charismatic but is actually a bumbling fool (i.e. PT Barnum). Harold Hill might be a conman, but his whole livelihood revolves around getting people to believe that he means what he says and then believe that, too. You need an actor with an incredible amount of charisma and presence to be able to pull that off, and IMO, Jackman is not that actor.
He's also (again IMO) really just snoozing his way through this recording, especially on 76 Trombones! He's dropping R's left and right (to the point where it almost sounds like he's making the effort to sound Southern) and they had to add in a trombone sound behind his mimicking one because it sounds SO dull. Then he mispronounces "Creatore" somehow?? I know that's the littlest thing to get upset over but it also just shows how little this show's creatives know or care about what this musical is all about (more on that later).
And then: they do the MMM thing from Cats 2019. AKA, where they drop out all of the orchestra and sing the biggest song, probably the song that the most people in the audience will know, in a really annoying, slow build-up that entirely kills the flow of the piece. Speaking of killing the mood, the dance break in the middle of the song really does that as well. "76 Trombones" is about the farthest you can get from broke, so I have no clue why they tried to "fix" it in this way.
My least favorite Hugh Jackman song from this soundtrack, however, is not 76 Trombones, but Marian the Librarian. Just from the off, this is one of my favorite musical theatre vamps ever and they absolutely ruined it by playing it at like twice the normal speed. It also starts in the wrong key and then keys up again (???) before he starts singing, and from there it only gets worse. He basically gets every single vowel he possibly could wrong (my favorite being the classic Brit-as-American "Watt can I do") and just trips and falls through the entire song extremely uncharismatically. He says "li-berry" at one point, for goodness' sake! Please, if you haven't listened to the original Robert Preston version of this song (either from the movie or the show), go do it now and then listen to the mockery Hugh Jackman makes of it. It's so obvious that Preston has such a better command over his voice and sound that it makes Jackman sound like he has no clue what he's doing.
Sutton Foster is not nearly as bad as her co-star, although I think she's also miscast. Obviously a Shirley Jones-style voice is really hard to recreate these days, but she's just got such a bright singing and speaking voice that if you had told me in 2021 that she was going to be playing Marian I would've thought you were bad at fancasting. I think she still does a fine job with the poor directing choices she was given — a true professional.
OK, some quick things before I get to the most infuriating part of this revival.
It was also very bold of the creatives to not only keep My White Knight, which is one of my always-skips of the original, but to also add another one in in "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean".
Why the hell is Pick-A-Little so slow??? It's a patter song, folks, it's supposed to be peppy.
I guess they directed the poor kid playing Winthrop to exaggerate the lisp as much as possible (could they have considered maybe just hiring an actor with a lisp instead?) because it straight up sounds like he's putting it on as a joke most of the time. 😬
I think the new lyrics to "Shipoopi" are cringe. Is it that hard to suspend your disbelief that people in 1912 had antiquated views on relationships? Is "hussy" really even that bad of an insult anymore? This song also gets the slowed down + long-ass dance break treatment, God save me.
So, if you're familiar with The Music Man, you might have noticed that I haven't yet mentioned a few key songs/moments. This is genuinely the part of the story of this revival that makes my blood boil. If you're unaware, 4 side characters in The Music Man make up a barbershop quartet, played in the original Broadway production and movie by the Buffalo Bills, a pre-existing quartet who Willson had become friends with even before writing the show. The Bills get multiple songs in the show, all sung in the barbershop style, and they all show off the iconic barbershop effect known as ringing chords, created from the quartet's just tuning. (I don't know enough about music theory to get into the weeds about this, but suffice it to say that barbershop singing and musical theatre singing are not interchangeable).
Apparently, when the revival was first being produced before the pandemic, a barbershop quartet called Category 4 was approached to play the quartet members. Great! Then, allegedly, post-pandemic, it was, to quote a spokesperson for the revival, "in the best interest of the show" for them to suddenly cut ties with Category 4, which would have broken contracts Category 4 said they signed. Less great. Instead, the 4 men credited as playing the quartet are Phillip Boykin, Eddie Korbich, Daniel Torres, and Nicholas Ward. I say "credited," but keep in mind that the OFFICIAL cast recording on Spotify does not credit Nicholas for "Sincere" AND "Lida Rose" (where Phillip's name is also misspelled), and on the two songs he is credited for, Spotify seems to have him confused with a violinist/conductor of the same name.
I bring this up to say that I don't blame these men for the situation Category 4 was put in — it seems the producers or someone else behind this production is extremely sloppy and willing to cut corners, including casting four musical theatre singers as a barbershop quartet. Because of this mindset, the songs are distinctly missing those ringing tones that are present in the Bills' versions, replaced with what I can only describe as "tricks" to make it seem like the harmonies are ringing, like a heavy overuse of dynamic changes, especially sforzandos. There's also at least one moment where one member (I think it's the tenor?) straight up sings the wrong note and completely changes the chord. Obviously I don't blame him for not being good at a singing style he literally isn't a professional at, but if there were at least one person in the booth familiar with barbershop or the original song, it hopefully would've been re-recorded.
And that's what hurts me the most — Meredith Willson was a huge fan of barbershop music and the Buffalo Bills especially, and now the music he wrote for them is being butchered by people 60 years later who want to make a quick buck. This revival has "cash-in" written all over it, from stunt casting the leads regardless of how well they fit the roles to not bothering to get actual professional barbershop singers to play a barbershop quartet. It's a soulless attempt to resurrect a great musical that didn't need to and shouldn't have happened.
#the music man#ok i lied. this is long lol#i could go on and on about the barbershop thing it bothers me SO MUCH#however last anyone heard category 4 is suing the producers for breach of contract so i hope it goes well for them <3#i guess if there's a bright side to this i had no idea until now that there was an obc-only buffalo bills song#so i'm listening to that now#(even though i really need to sleep lmao)
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@gwyndal
😄😁😣
Lan Jingyi hates rollercoasters. They make him dizzy and nauseous and tap into some primal instinct of "absolutely-the-fuck-not" that has him stay as far away from them as possible. He hates the ones with those huge loops and the ones that turn you upside down and he specifically hates the ones that spin.
So why is he being dragged towards the tallest, loopiest, spinniest in the whole theme park?
Because he's a prideful idiot who refuses to admit he's afraid. And also because Jin Ling bet him 500$ that he won't get on that rollercoaster and that's way too much money for Jingyi to turn down (not to mention, his pride would be irreparably wounded if he proved Jin Ling wrong, and that's not something money can fix).
"Jingyi, you really don't have to do this." Sizhui tries, patting Jingyi's shoulder comfortingly as they wait in line. "It's just a stupid bet. And if it's about the money, I can give you that 500$ myself and be done with it."
"I'm fine, Sizhui. It's just a rollercoaster. Hundreds of people get on it every day."
"You really don't sound convincing at all..."
"Come on, Sizhui, have a little faith in me. And anyways, weren't you the one who said it's best to face your fears head on?"
Sizhui sighs. "If you're sure... I just don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with. Especially not if it's just to prove a point."
Jingyi tries to give a reassuring smile, but it looks strained and a bit awkward to the point that it's comical. Sizhui taps into his Lan upbringing to hide a laugh and pretends to be staring ahead at the queue. Looks like they're next.
"You look like you've just seen a ghost." Jin Ling taunts as he generously pays for everyone's ride.
Jingyi glares at him. "Get your wallet ready, princess."
Sizhui and Zizhen sigh. Whilst they're excited for the ride and have been raving about it ever since they arrived at the fair, they know Jingyi is scared of it and find the bet ridiculous.
Still, Jingyi won't admit it and Jin Ling is being annoying about it.
The employee straps the four teens into their seats, and makes it a point to specifically ask Jingyi if he's okay. He's shaking a little and there's some cold sweat collecting at his temples, his grip on the metal handlebars making his knuckles white.
"I'm perfectly fine!" he insists, his voice a bit too loud and shaky. "Let's go!"
The moment the ride starts moving, Jingyi finds himself muttering prayers. If he gets out alive of this, he's never going to lie about his dog having eaten his homework, he won't ever let his room get messy again, he'll study twice, no, thrice as hard and he won't ever call Jin Ling a spoiled little bitch behind his back unless it was absolutely necessary.
He hears his friends laugh with excitement and point out how high up they are and how many things they can see, but he doesn't open his eyes to check for himself. He's just going to take their word and their happy giggles for it.
At the first drop of the ride, Jingyi feels like his soul has gotten lost on the way.
At the first loop, he wonders whether 500$ is really that much money after all.
The moment the rollercoaster begins spinning, he almost feels like he sees his life flasesh before his eyes.
But after that... he realizes it's really not that bad actually. It's quite fun, and he even opens his eyes to get the full experience. Before he knows it, he's actually enjoying this whole thing, screaming with excitement at every drop and loop.
In fact, he's disappointed when the ride is over!
"Can we go again? This was amazing!"
Jin Ling hands him 500$ and goes to puke in a trashcan.
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👩💻🎶 for the snippet asks :3
Yay! Thank you so much!!! c:
Whiplash again. Sorry! I am doing them in reverse order so the sweet one can be first.
(Snippet asks)
🎶 share a happy moment. ANY happy moment. You must have ONE.
“Indeed,” Fenris said, stooping to retrieve the discarded spoon from the floor. “Your mother will insist on a bath if I do not wipe you clean.”
Leander frowned, his fine little eyebrows drawing in close. It wasn’t an especially effective expression when one half of his mouth was still occupied by chewing his biscuit to bits.
“You are not fond of them; I know,” Fenris told him with a faint smile. “It is entirely out of my hands.”
Leander pulled his meal from his mouth and babbled, gesturing broadly with both crumb-streaked palms. Fenris nodded along, reflecting on how strange it was that it sounded more and more like he was holding a conversation every day. Soon—any day now—he would actually begin to talk to them. Fenris couldn’t wait. Leander was nearly a year old now, and every day seemed to bring out new parts of his personality.
“Thank you for telling me,” he told Leander, and reached for the dampened cloth he’d prepared ahead of time. “Are you finished?”
“Gwehm,” Leander said firmly, and pushed the mess of crumbs away from him.
His son squirmed when Fenris reached to clean his hands (hands first, always; he’d learned this the hard way) and chunks of food stuck to his face and pale curls. While he wiped the babe clean, Fenris told Leander about what they were going to do next, about playing in the snow outside as soon as he’d been thoroughly dried and bundled up, about how they would read a book together later.
He was so busy making sure Leander didn’t manage to stick his hands back in the mess on the tray that he didn’t notice when Hawke stepped into the room behind him. Leander, of course, spotted her at once.
“Mehhh,” he said, clapping and lifting his arms.
👩💻 share a snippet that you worked on for a long time or struggled with
(this still isn't done T.T)
Something brushed her shoulder, and Maker but if it had been anyone else in the entire world she might have wondered what it could be. But—it was Fenris. She knew his touch as she knew no one else’s, so she recognized it at once.
“Don’t touch me,” Hawke snapped, jerking away.
Fenris snatched his hand back at once, but she wanted him to hurt. No—she wanted to hate him. It would be so much easier if she could just hate him.
“You are a monster,” she spat, and he recoiled from her, his face gone to stone. “Say it, Fenris. Tell me I’m a monster.”
Why was it so cursed quiet? She could hear her own blood in her ears, in her throat, throbbing in her hands. She flexed them wide at her sides, flexed them until her fingers ached.
“I am no better than Merrill. If anything, I am worse. I have killed twice as many as she has. I have killed for money, for rumors, for little provocation at all. I am good at it. I like it. I use my magic to kill people and I like it. So—say it, Fenris. Tell me I’m a monster. I am everything you hate—I know you’re thinking it. You’ve been thinking it all along—I should’ve just believed you the first time you said so. It would’ve saved us both a lot of trouble, wouldn’t it?”
He was angry about everything else; damn his eyes, she wanted him to yell at her for this, too. She wanted him to do something. Fenris stood still instead, hands curled at his sides, his face stark.
The wind went from her all at once, her anger turning inward. This wasn’t her; or rather, this was the part of herself she kept very carefully away from the rest of them. And what had it gained her to hurt him now? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
#maria hawke#ask response#ask game response#shivunin scrivening#long post#i'm SORRY but the fight scene makes me so sad that i am having the hardest time finishing it#i want to wrap them both in a blanket afterward and apologize#thank you for asking! c:
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for the random ask game!
2, 4, 5, 26, 35, 43, 58
Thanks bestie! The other asks are gonna get done eventually, brain has just noooot been letting me do shit lol.
2 - Do you have an accent?
Not really. Although technically my state has an "accent" that people kind of unofficially adopted. Sometimes my "a's" sound like "o's." It's not like southerners saying "wooter" and not "water," but the most obvious example is saying the name of my state itself.
4 - Have you ever slapped anybody?
I don't think so. Definetly not in a real, serious way, but I can't remember if I've done a stage slap or not.
5 - Did you learn a skill or get a new hobby during lockdown?
Honestly... I don't think so. Lockdown was really hard on me even being as big of an introvert as I am. I was depressed and mostly did what was familiar rather than doing new things. I've blocked most of 2020 out tbh.
26 - Have you ever won a contest?
Actually yes! Our big botanical gardens was opening a kids area and they needed a name for their mascot, a Marmot. The name I suggested was picked and I was there to attend the grand opening. It was televised and everything. I was gifted a marmot plush that I still have to this day (this was thirteen years ago).
I went there a couple years ago and the kids' section is still there and the mascot is still around here and there, although I don't think my name is anywhere. I can't even find articles about it.
Here's the little lad:
35 - Favorite dessert?
Fuckin Cinnamon Buns. I could eat so many of those, especially the ones from Cinnabon.
43 - Is there a movie you detest for a very specific reason?
Fucking "Sound of Freedom." As most of you know, I worked at a movie theatre this past summer and it was the bane of my existence. It's about child trafficking and it released on the fourth of july. And as you know, Americans see the word Freedom and go ape shit. And it's a very specific crowd: Conservatives. Your religious grandparents, military members, Blue Line Supporters...
And the tRump/QAnon crowd.
I extend my customer service to everyone but these people were/are ASSHOLES. Getting mad at me when showings were sold out (my co worker even had people ask if she could *move other people* from their seats so she could sell them to this old bat and whoever was with her).
On my last day I had two women buy tickets for it and try to trick me into free food by saying they ordered pretzel bites when they most certainly didn't, thinking I was too stupid to realize otherwise... I read their order back to them twice and they said it was fine both times. Jokes on them cause I rang them up in a separate order so they still paid...
Oh and our ushers have seen SEVERAL religious pamphlets and scriptures left behind on the seats.
But it did lead to this funny story:
When I was working on the 4th of July, every showing was full or almost full. This one dude with a Trump hat and a cross around his neck the size of my palm asked about a solution to the problem of his wife not liking butter on her popcorn but he did. I poured the popcorn into a paper bag we give out so people can share easier and let him use his free refill to fill the bucket again, so two buckets of popcorn.
He called me smart, asked for my name (since I didn't wear a nametag) so he could thank me properly, and gave me candy. I wished him a happy fourth since I really was hoping he would tell my manager I did a good job (praise is praise even if he wears a red hat) and he just bellows "AND A HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU AS WELL, MA'AM!"
...so there was a thin veil made of ignorance and my own resourcefulness that prevented me from getting hate crimed at work since if this man knew a gay pagan had helped him out...
And no I don't think he actually talked to my manager about my helping him.
I seemed to get more respect from these people seeing this fucking movie than others (which says a LOT cause I had so many dicks I had to help) and I've theorized that maybe these nut jobs thought I was religious cause they saw the pin on the hair scarf I wore and assumed it was representative of some Christian sect...
...It's a Volturi crest pin.
But, yeah, to sum up, fuck this movie and the crowds it brings. I knew it was gonna be bad when I read the synopsis on my monitor the morning of the 4th and saw Jim Caveziel was the lead, fucking JESUS in "The Passion of the Christ..." and what's even WORSE is that he's the lead of "The Prisoner," the show I wanted to watch because of baby JCB.
Working Barbenheimer was like a doomsday for me, but Sound of Freedom was a chronic and horrid pain...
Although this happened, so that's horribly ironic:
58 - Are you or were you a good student?
Yeah basically. I was kind of universally known as the smart kid nobody talked to but everyone wanted in their group projects. Finished high school with a 3.97 GPA, but most of that can be credited to my extreme fear of failure. College has been no different lol.
#i could rant about sound of freedom for hours and tell you so many stories but i won't#both for your sanity and mine#ask game#random ask game#random asks#fishgills speaks#beloved mutuals#my inbox is open
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LITTLE MUSE FACTS.
Instructions: fill out the questions about your muse, repost, and tag as many people as you want!
1) What does your muse smell like?:
Some mixture of outdoors, that odd crisp smell of wind and...coconuts. His shampoo has coconut in it so it's always a lingering scent but he never really smells bad unless he's working out or on a long run.
Mina often smells like coffee and, for the same reasons as Arrow, faint floral scents. Occasionally she'll mix it up and wear something more lavender scented but it's mostly coffee with her haha
2) How often does your muse bathe/shower?:
Every day, usually in the morning if not at night depending on what he does during the day. He doesn't like to go to bed dirty, basically. And because he typically takes short showers he sees nothing wrong with taking them twice a day at times.
Every morning, and a bath at night. The bath is definitely a time for Mina to decompress and relax, which works out great because it gives her husband and daughter some quality time alone at the same time.
3) Does your muse have any tattoos or piercings?:
No and he has no interest in getting them either. He's fine with them, just doesn't want them on himself. As he's put it, he's been 'pierced' enough as it is.
And yes, Mina has nine piercings, all in her ears and no tattoos. But she does think about getting one from time to time. She just doesn't know where and of what but she's thought about using it to cover the strips on her back that she doesn't like (but Arrow loves them too much, so she's torn).
4) Any body movement quirks? (EX: tapping heel, shaking knee)”
Arrow's ears twitch when he's confused or thinking really hard, and when he's lost in thought especially while doing paperwork or something he's usually tapping his pen on the table. Likewise he'll tap his foot when he's impatient.
Mina is a finger tapper, on the surface of her arms, legs, etc. And like Arrow she tends to keep a steady rhythm to it. Musicians and all. But she also flips her hair when overly confident too.
5) What do they sleep in?:
Not a thing for him. Unless it's cold then you'll find him in a sweatshirt of some kind (often stolen in some fashion).
Usually an athletic-type shirt and shorts. Sometimes nothing. Depends on her mood and the weather.
6) What’s their favorite piece of clothing?:
Arrow really does like his band outfit, like a lot. It just represents something he loves, and another part of him that can finally see the light, and he can't help but adore it. His red scarf is probably his most precious piece of clothing, however since it's from Rosie.
Mina adores her wedding dress but, for something more casual, her jacket that she wears three of four seasons. It's been with her from the start and has become a pretty signature look. Plus she just likes it. It's comfy and has pockets that actually work well.
7) What do they do when they wake up?:
Whoever is up first watches after Lyra and starts breakfast most of the time. When the other gets up they get to shower, get dressed and basically ready for the day before switching off with the other.
They both start with a shower, but Mina obviously takes longer because of her hair and preferences. Arrow usually has to let his quills air dry since getting in between them with a towel is just tedious. From there it's the usual before they do breakfast together. Sometimes, if they're both awake at the same time (which is rare since Mina loves to sleep in) Arrow will run and grab them tea and coffee for the day.
8) How do they sleep? Position?:
On his side most of the time, rarely on his back, when he does sleep anyway. Usually he's awake though so he's sitting up in bed if Mina wants him there. Otherwise he's off walking around or downstairs recording.
Mina usually sleeps on her husband when he's there, either with an arm held hostage or on his lap. When both of them are asleep they're either being spoons or she's asleep with her head on his chest. She likes to listen to his heartbeat.
9) What do their hands feel like?:
Rough but soft too. Like for as terrible as his hands look with all the scars that are technically furless, they're softer than you might think. A little calloused from playing guitar but they look worse than they actually are.
Soft. She takes good care of herself in all aspects and her hands are no different.
tagged by: @stardusted-hearts tagging: you~!
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