#like. i *love* vaxleth and it is very important to me but i think these two are the number one of my heart.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

vaxilmore moments from s2ep1 that realtered my brain chemistry……… i’m so unwell over them that these crumbs are literally making me go insane 😩😩😭

[paperglader]

Thoughts on C3EP77 of CR (I hyperfixate on imodna constantly, but I swear that I talk about the rest of the characters as well)

Delilah fucking briarwood. It has not gone past me that we got to have this great laudna moment on the same ep where they announced the book. WHICH I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT.

Imodna will never not be iconic in the middle of a fight. That one moment when laudna was being cornered by the ghosts, and she kept going back and forth between acting like Delilah and pleading for them to understand that she wasn’t the one they were after, to finally Imogen killing two of them, and as they vanished, her gaze was finally visible to laudna as the cloud of smoke dissipated and she told her that it would be alright, only for laudna to lash out once again and unleash her attacks on the rest of them. Chef’s kiss. What a scene.

Imogen calling Delilah Briarwood a bitch will never get old.

Laudna making Imogen promise her to move on and be happy if she died- I can’t. My sweet farm girl was so heartbroken the entire episode. THERE WAS ONE MOMENT TOO, when orym was talking about missing Will every day, and how he would want him to live and be happy, and Imogen was just like 😣. She needs a hug. Someone has to give her a hug

FEARNE FINALLY KNOWS ABOUT IMODNA. The moment that laudna said “she makes me so happy!” I literally fell to my knees.

Fearne’s soft little “you are??” After Orym said that he was so glad that she was there with them broke me into a million pieces. Ashley Johnson you’re an ✨actress✨

Laura deciding to end imodna, not because of the moon, not because of the gods, or Delilah briarwood, but because marisha made a bad vex impression. I respect it.

Imogen still has her yellow scarf. This is very important to me.

Imogen praying for laudna to be alright- Destroyed, heart broken, I’ll never recover + Laura and marisha’s little smiles after the scene, when Laura was wiping off her tears😭 + THE FUCKING RAVEN QUEEN. She better scram the fuck away from the girls, cause I’m not ready for vaxleth 2.0. I’m just like imogen, I refuse.

CALLOWMOORE AT THE CLOCK TOWER. I was giggling, kicking my feet - then by the end of it I was like wtf taliesin, what are you cooking? And then fearne ran away 😭

Terrified of the amount of potions being distributed for the next episode… also, excited.

Ashton. It’s just so funny because Imogen was so hesitant about it all the entire way, but she had the circlet. She wasn’t inside Ashton’s head so he got away with it. Marisha’s innocent “what is happening?” To then being explained Ashton’s plan and saying “you’re gonna die” so incredulous, so sad, and everyone’s face after she said that. My heart started speeding up. Just what the actual fuck. The way he treated fearne… I will not be ok with him for a while because of that. He almost killed himself, he almost killed them all. They just burned a bunch of spells and potions and they’re going to the moon… honestly, I don’t think I’ve been this stressed since laudna’s resurrection

It’s just so… Ashton advocating for down time, so that they could remind themselves that they loved each other before anyone did anything stupid… I EXPECTED SOMETHING BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

Just… Fearne… I understand being an asshole, but I do not understand being an asshole to Fearne. The way that he used their friendship to make her do his bidding, straight up awful.

[floralovebot]

I came across Vox Machina on tiktok. Took one look at Vax and my brain immediately screamed Helia! I never really got the chance to get into dnd but I watched Vox Machina solely for Vax then ended up falling in love with Keyleth and YESS!!! The Vaxleth and Florelia parallels had me dying! I didn’t think anyone else would notice or think Vax was so similar to Helia but of coursee you got it!! I never really saw Helia with a sibling I kind of felt like he gave me pure only child vibes but after seeing Vax and Vex I can definitely see Helia with a twin sister like Vex and them running away together from home and all their shenanigans omg.

Keyleth got the character development that Flora deserved and especially the way Vax encouraged her in season 1 reminded me of Helia so much. And Vax’s little nicknames for everyone, so cute! (Kiki, Im gonna cry) but I’ve also thought about aus where Helia was the one to confess and I can also see him overthinking it until he blurts it out in the middle of a battle.

I dont get why people hate on Keyleth for being emotional when its so rare but realistic to be doubtful of one’s powers? Like I love Vex and I like how they didnt make her some emotionless deadly woman but characters like Keyleth are important too! Their dynamic is to die for as well of course

Im sorry Im obsessed that there’s someone else who sees the Vax!Helia and Flora!Keyleth

AHHHHHHH BABE I KNEW YOU'D GET IT

and yes!!! i've always liked the idea of helia with a twin sister and seeing them really solidified that headcanon for me! ngl, she used to be completely different but now her personality is very vex inspired ajdhgl

and yes!!! i love keyleth's character development (especially knowing what happens in the future)! it's so nice to see them rooting for her too! i feel like so many self-conscious characters get shit on by other characters and it was really nice to see them not fall into that trope with keyleth. ik there were moments in the campaign where some characters were annoyed with her, but they were still rooting for her and encouraging her more than anything!

and yes ohmygod the parallels with helia hyping up flora too i'm :') i really love the idea of helia confessing! obviously i love flora being the one to confess since that was a major moment for her character development, but an au where he does it is super cute. personally, i really like the idea of it being in s2 ep25 except it's a confession instead of the kiss!

also yes!!! the hate toward keyleth (and marisha) is so boring and so weird? like,, other characters have doubted themselves (like vax!!) and they don't get nearly the same amount of hate. and you're right, characters like keyleth are super important!

[glossolali]

TLOVM Ep 5 Watch Party Summary

- If there's dying guard NPCs it's all of us just screaming in a sound booth alone at home

- Sunil is so good as Gilmore he just gets it

- Gilmore's shop is so gorgeous, critters on the design team put in a million easter eggs. Like Sprinkle!

- IF WE EVER GET MIGHTY NEIN CARTOON, WE'RE SETTING UP FOR SPRINKLE (DON'T TEASE ME LAURA i can't)

- Shopping episodes are the best. Travis hates them, Tal loves them.

- They're big fans of both Vaxleth and Vaxilmore (mica: why not both?, me: Vax has two hands!)

- The cart is so epic and classic as the start of an adventure!

- Percy @ everyone: "You're not old enough to drive."

- Every dog is the best dog even these perfect but disturbing tentacled demon doggos

- All dogs go to heaven, the best dogs come from hell (Taliesin <3)

- They love how overpowered Keyleth is and how she always saves the day as long as there's no planning

- Scanlan and the tentacle: "Maybe I don't wanna be saved..."

- Marisha made a dog growling noise first time she recorded Minxie Keyleth growling (LOL)

- #justiceforthehorses

- "Such a good boy!" @ Necro Dog

- It was terrible and shiver inducing to see the family and the kid before they got Sun Tree'd

- They love the wind downs to balance the action, great opportunity to learn about characters and develop their relationships

- Compressing hours and hours of the stream into a very effective and precise scene or just a few lines to sprinkle throughout the season took hundreds of hours and a lot of work

- The lighting is amazing, the world is very complex and layered, lots of love went into this world

- Keyleth always accidentally killed things, it was a running gag

- The foreshadowing in the twins conversation!!!! :(

- Whitestone is sadly beautiful, beautifully sad

- They animated the reveal of the Sun Tree so that it takes a second, like in the game. Actual chills for the sun tree scene (oof me too even the third time around!), including the creaking in the end credits

Q&A

Q: Vex and Percy, what do they see in each other?

Taliesin: She's hot. He thinks Vex is the only other adult in the room. Vex is so kind to him, especially when he's freaking out

Laura: Percy is hot too. And Vex is interested in seeing what he's hiding, and that's incredibly enticing to her.

Q: And Vax and Keyleth?

Liam: It happened over a long time and there was 30 pre-stream games to represent in the development of Vaxleth's relationship and do it in a way that makes sense with the other relationships' development

Q: The twin's sibling dynamic and Vaxleth, why is Vex feeling threatened by Keyleth?

Laura: They've always had each other's back, this is the first time she's seeing the vulnerability of her brother and what could happen. The terror of being left behind is what makes her give Keyleth the cold shoulder, shittiness, pushing away the thing that's putting me at risk and Keyleth's coming between the most important thing in her life. But she loves Keyleth and is kind of forcing herself to dislike her. Would love to be a perfect person, but it's a really honest emotion.

Liam: Vax understands where she's come from but wants her to feel supported and loved, not abandoned. (CRIES)

Q: The incredible chase scene! Let's talk about it.

(Over the cliff draft animatic plays!)

Sung: Chase scenes are challenging, keeping track of speed, momentum, etc. the horses were difficult too and that's why they had to die! Initially dogs were weird creatures but too hard to animate so they did an in-between with the dog and the weird frankenstein creatures

Q: How long did TLOVM take to sink in?

A: It's still a fever dream, hasn't sunk in yet. Feels unreal, but we're very happy with it and proud of it. That's all artists want is to have people enjoy and feel something about their work. We feel very fortunate, and we get to make people forget about their lives for just a little while. (CRIES) The opportunity to open up the story to a brand new audience is so great. We wanted it to be accessible, it was always on our mind. Like 'this doesn't make sense unless you've seen the game' while also rewarding long time fans. Friends, family finally watched what critters have loved for years.

Q: Can we talk about the sun tree again? Comparing the stream and the show

A: Brought back all the feelings of the original stream. It's a bit of a warning for watchers like "you can get off the ride still!"

[vethbrenatto]

Thoughts on keyleth getting the near death experience instead of vex? I keep seeing people say that vex was screwed out of the spotlight "again" but i thought vex got plenty of amazing moments through the show?

Okay, I'm going to preface this with I really don't remember the final Briarwood fight. What I remember is vaguely: Vax gets charmed, VM trapped in the glass thing, Scanlan dimension doors with Pike (?), and Vax goes down at some point. If you say Vex goes down in the Briarwood fight, I believe you, but I really don't remember it. What I do remember is Vax going down, and I'd say that Kiki going down is more aptly there to replace Vax.

I'm of a couple minds about. Honestly, I really don't mind it, I think Kiki going down or Vax going down is interchangeable to me. The reason it didn't have to be Vax anymore is because they moved the "You know I'm in love with you, right?" to mid-battle in the previous episodes. That means that we no longer needed Vax to go down, be revived, and say the line. That said, I didn't find the moment to be that intense? It was just kind of a let down to make that the Episode 11 cliffhanger only for it to be a minor thing resolved in 12 (as I knew it would be, because there were much bigger fish to fry in 12). I said this in my thoughts post, but I understand it as a Vaxleth moment, it was fine in that respect, but it did not need to be the Dramatic Cliffhanger of 11.

To be completely honest, I think that the fight could've been fine without any near-deaths. As people have been discussing recently, I think TLOVM needs to be a bit stingy with its "knocked unconscious" or "revivify" moments (as opposed to res rituals). People go down a lot in the campaign. And considering the main focus of 12 was going to be Percy, I don't think I needed anyone to go down in 11, I don't think it served much of a purpose outside it's establishment of more Vaxleth, that Vax pays attention to Kiki and her magic. But I do think that's what they wanted to use the moment for, and to that effect, they succeeded.

I think it taking away Vex's downed moment (which again, I don't remember) isn't even a consideration. Personally, again, with that "be sparing" with your downed moments thing, I think Vex not going down was a good thing. Vex has a VERY important thing coming up, most likely next season, in the Sunken Tomb. She will very clearly go down and need a revivify. With the amount of episodes, if she'd gone down here, it might turn into a thing of: Well, geez, Vex is always the one going unconscious. Kiki, in comparison to literally every other PC (except maybe Pike?), I don't think has as many important "downed" moments, so giving her this actually makes sense to me.

I think Vex definitely got her dues this Season. I really don't think anyone besides Scanlan and Grog got the short stick this season, and personally, Vex had my favorite characterization of the season. Maybe she didn't have as many plot hooks, but we're almost always tuned into her mental state, CONSTANTLY getting insights into her character. PLUS, they made her the leader! VM, notoriously, doesn't have a leader, and I think Vex is one of a couple considerations for who might be the leader (I'd say popular choices are Vex, Scanlan, Percy), but they gave the spot to Vex, which I love. Vex was constantly relevant, her dragon sense, her relationships (Vax, Percy, Keyleth, even Scanlan- a relationship I had no clue they'd include but was thrilled to know they adapted!), and her force of personality. She didn't need to go down in that fight to be relevant.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

VAXLETH WEDDING?? I saw your proposal fic and I would love a wedding sequel!!!

tw: panic attack (also I don’t think this is what you were asking for but this is what came out when I started writing)

Keyleth paces the room anxiously, chewing on her thumbnail. Percy and Pike are watching her sitting on the bed, both silent since she snapped at them not a minute earlier. "Keyleth, you need to breathe," Pike tells her gently.

"I can't, Pike," Keyleth replies, her voice sharp as she paces slightly faster. "This is the most important day of my life and I can't fucking breathe and I-"

"Okay, okay." Percy steps in front of her and grabs her by the arms. "Keyleth, calm down. You are perfect, he already loves you, this is just making it more official."

"Percy is right." Pike walks over to her as well. "Just breathe."

She shakes her head, "I can't, I can't. I need Vax, Pike, I need him."

"I'll go get him," Pike tells her calmly. "Fuck traditions. But while I do, you need to listen to Percy."

She nods, as long as she'll bring Vax she doesn't care. The next few minutes are filled with futile attempts on Percy's behalf to try to get her to breathe. Eventually, the door opens and Vax rushes towards her. She barely has a second to appreciate how he looks in his black suit with golden details before he takes her into his arms, holding her close.

"What's going on?" He asks her gently.

"I don't know, I'm kind of freaking out," she tells him rapidly. "My hair is so tight and my feet hurt and I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Well," Vax holds her at arm's length and looks at her calmly, "those are two problems we can fix right now. Come here." He leads her over to the bed and sits her down on the edge, climbing up behind her. "Let's just take all this hair down, okay?" Keyleth nods because honestly she is so near tears and overwhelmed and Vax is the one thing keeping her calm.

Vax starts pulling out pins, her hair falling down her back and shoulders as it comes undone. As he does, he presses kisses to her shoulders. "I love you so much, Keyleth. I know that this is overwhelming and if you wanted to I'd leave with you right now and we could get married with my sister and Freddy as our witnesses and no one else. I don't care about any of it, just you."

Keyleth sniffs and wipes her nose on her arm, "I know, I'm sorry I'm freaking out."

"It's alright, to be honest, I was kind of freaking out with Vex earlier." Vax chuckles as he pulls the last pin out and Keyleth's hair falls around her shoulders in a protective shield. Vax then moves to in front of her and starts undoing the straps of her shoes.

Once her feet are free, he stands and smiles at her, "Better?" She nods, suddenly feeling very stupid. Vax kisses her forehead. "I have an idea. What if we push back the ceremony an hour and the two of us get some food and we just take a breather together."

"Are you sure?" Keyleth asks. "I don't want to keep everyone waiting."

Vax squeezes her hand, "You are more important. Besides, my father is out there and he can wait as long as I damn well please."

She chuckles a little and then says, "Okay." Keyleth leans against him as he sits down on the bed next to her. “As long as you’re sure.”

“I am.” He kisses her softly and then leans back, tucking his arm around her waist. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

Keyleth blushes a little, “So do you.” She runs a hand down Vax’s chest, feeling the soft material of his suit. She’s wearing a white dress that honestly looks more like a sundress then a wedding dress with golden flowers embroidered on the hem and thin straps that show off her shoulders and the freckles covering them.

“I should tell Vex that we’re going to postpone the wedding for a bit.” Vax says after a moment.

Keyleth nods and forces herself to pull away from him. “Can she bring us some food too?”

Vax smiles, “Of course she will, she’s got a soft spot for you.” Keyleth makes a face, that’s definitely not true, but she knows Vex will do it anyway.

As Vax heads to the door, Keyleth falls backwards onto the bed, hands resting on her stomach. She takes a deep breath and feels the sun rays washing over her. She knows that in a little over an hour she and Vax will being taking the most important vows of their lives in front of all of their friends, but right now she feels safe and calm. And with Vax by her side, those feelings will last a life time.

[utilitycaster]

Fjorester for the ship thing?

when I started shipping it if I did: sort of like Beauyasha the groundwork was kind of already there at the very beginning, so I guess it would be better to say when I stopped shipping things that conflicted with it, which would probably be just pre-hiatus and then cemented pretty quickly during Rumblecusp.

my thoughts: I sort of just combined this with "what makes me happy about them.

What makes me happy about them: So much, I feel like I'm being repetitive from the Beauyasha thing but the vulnerability applies here; I truly love the "we have remarkably similar flaws that have been getting in the way of each other but we are going to work on this TOGETHER." I like how actually in contrast to Beauyasha, who were often quite serious but then had a really fun and playful date, (and Caleb/Essek who have similar vibes as Beauyasha for that), Fjord and Jester, while they had some incredibly serious conversations, were often extremely playful with each other and the scene in which they first get together stands out for how serious it is. I also love that their story continues with them still adventuring - I think part of why I was like "no, the story can't end NOW" is because it felt like they especially were not done with adventuring, and you know what? They weren't!

What makes me sad about them: Again, not much? Like, for all the CR ships the only one that has anything particularly sad is, like, Vaxleth.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: the nice thing about shipping things that are slightly less popular is usually the average quality is pretty high and also again I read fanfic from like. only a small handful of people.

things I look for in fanfic: Both of them have really hard voices to lock onto, so getting that right is pretty important.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Honestly no one that we met. I mean I'm sure they'd find other people but also they are both So Much that it would take a while. Definitely someone else from the coast.

My happily ever after for them: I think they spend a few years at sea and then settle down in Nicodranas to have a child, and then get heavily involved in Coast politics.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: As with Beau and Yasha, despite the height differential I think it's a toss-up.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: When they're in port they absolutely engage in some degree of wedding crashing but they also bring gifts for the couple and are both able to disguise themselves so like. No one picks up on it or if they do they're like "well, it's fine, you were delightful guests."

[cranesofibycus]

Caleb might be bi but Liam will never do a m/m relationship it’s always the woman he’s ~really~ in love with. Keyleth, astrid, jester it’s a pattern

As much as I think this is bait, I’m gonna try to engage with this ask as thoughtfully as possible. I’ve seen this complaint a lot; that Liam has a pattern in how he plays his characters, especially when it comes to who he ‘romances’, which is the first aspect of this that I want to talk about. 

Liam is one person at that table. He makes decisions for his characters, but he and the others have also openly talked about the fact that romance decisions are discussed off-air by the parties in question. Liam talked to Marisha and Matt before pursuing Vaxleth at the table, for example. What I’m trying to say is: Whichever m/m relationship does or does not happen is not Liam O’Brien’s decision alone. There are always other parties involved and it is always okay if anyone at that table is uncomfortable with a certain (romance) rp decision. So ‘Liam will never do m/m’ is a difficult statement to take seriously, since Liam can’t do m/m on his own. He will always need a scene partner. 

The second thing I want to mention is this obsession with endgame. 

You, anon, didn’t mention it explicitly in your ask, but I’m assuming that’s what you mean by ‘~really~ in love with’. You are concerned about where Liam’s characters’ feelings end up. A few things:

The idea that relationships don’t matter if they break apart before the end (or before ever really starting) is very confusing to me. None of the relationships or crushes that define me to this day are still on-going. I have fallen in and out of love many, many times and I was impacted and moved by all of them. I have said it before and I will say it again: Endgame is not where the story lives - and relationships aren’t frozen at the moment of the story’s ending either.  

We don’t know where Caleb is going to end up yet. We have seen glimpses of his attraction to women, to men and to nb people. We know that he currently has feelings for Jester. He sure seems to still have feelings for Astrid and he might still have feelings for Eadwulf. We are still nowhere close to the end of campaign 2, so I think it’s fairly bold of you to assume that Caleb will be ~really~ in love with any of the female characters in the end. 

The other part that I’m concerned about here is the implication that Vax’s feelings for Gilmore weren’t real. Liam has talked at length about the importance of Gilmore to Vax and to Liam himself. His relationship with Shaun had a huge impact on who Vax became and how he developed - to say that he was only ever ~really~ in love with Keyleth sounds... dismissive at best....

At worst, though, it sounds extremely biphobic, which is the last point I want to talk about. The term biphobia gets thrown around a lot when it comes to Vax and his relationships, and I don’t mean to contribute to the liberal use of that term, but... BUT the worth of bisexual people is not measured by how many people of different genders they have been involved with. Their worth is not impacted by who they ‘end up’ with or who they ~really~ love in the end. And by insinuating that it’s inherently bad that m/m love is not given the same attention and time by a bisexual character (or player) as m/f love you are saying that bisexual people are only measured by how queer they are and only by the amount of ‘queer’ activity they participate in. And that - my friend - is biphobia. 

I, like you, would love to see more m/m relationships explored in Critical Role. But no one who does table top roleplaying is obligated to explore anything they aren’t interested in or comfortable with, especially when it comes to romance (”But why aren’t they comfortable with it! This is homophobia!” - have you ever improvised romance outside of your own personal preference in front of a million strangers who will judge your every move and report back on how well you did in real time on Twitter? No? Then please sit down.) 

This is a long reply to an ask that was sent on a whim and to bait me, but I’ve been thinking about this sort of attack on Liam for a while and I just needed to articulate my feelings on it before letting it go. 

[demonologue]

Some more talk about Gilmore and his treatment in LoVM s1

From @dreanner95

“But how would there have been more of that relationship? It was already a side thing on the stream and most of Season 1 was the Briarwood arc which happened in Whitestone and not in Emon. There is only so much that can happen in a 12 episode season. And characters like Gilmore and Allura will have much more to do in Season 2.”

First off, I mean “more of that relationship” as in showing that it’s an actual, consensual relationship that is real and happening in the story. The way the cartoon portrays it is very one-sided to the point newcomers have called out discomfort at Gilmore being portrayed as the stereotypical creepy old gay man coming on too strong where his attention is not wanted. That hurts me physically to hear that people are thinking that’s what’s going on when it 100% is not. Not once in the cartoon was Vax the one to kiss Gilmore. Not once in the cartoon did Vax light up and grab Gilmore and lift him into the air as he did in campaign. That is a choice that the writers made, and I hate it.

Secondly, Vax’s relationship with Gilmore in campaign was significant enough that it had to be verbally ended so that Vax could pursue Keyleth without feeling like he was cheating on Gilmore/leading Gilmore on. From what we’ve seen in the cartoon, that relationship is so non-existent, it doesn’t even need to be addressed for Vax to pursue Keyleth. 

Thirdly, in The Feast (episode 24), when VM is preparing to fight the Briarwoods at the palace, they are in Gilmore’s Glorious Goods stocking up on supplies (and advice), and one of the most iconic Gilmore scenes occurs, when he comes bamfing back from Westruun the second he hears Vax is in his shop. I’m not saying this scene is important to new critters or hardcore Vaxleth shippers who were happy when Gilmore disappeared from the story after episode 79, but it’s important to Gilmore fans and fun for everyone who loves him - which is the majority of C1 critters. They could have easily slipped that scene into the cartoon. 

That’s all. 

[mariana-oconnor]

Behind the cut there is going to be mostly senseless babbling about how much I love Vox Machina, so there are definitely going to be spoilers for episodes 1-9 of The Legend of Vox Machina, you have been warned.

Every week I watch and I just remember how much I love these characters and this story and it honestly reminds me how important stories are. Which is probably pretentious of me, but my favourite character is Percy so obviously I'm a little (lot) pretentious.

OKAY, so we have to start with Scanlan's one man invasion party. They included all the best parts of it. IT WAS AMAZING. Sure they adapted stuff because they can't exactly give out his spell list to the viewers, so Dimension door was changed a bit, but we had Triceratops Scanlan and the lightning bolt from the cube and... Just absolutely Scanlan at his fucking shit up best. And his little song as he walked back from it all.

THE SKY WRITING SPELL! I love it, I love it. I mean, it really plays their hand, but also... I just love it.

CASSANDRA! I will definitely have more to say about Cassandra next week because... well... if you're reading this you probably already know why. If you don't know why - I love Cassandra de Rolo, anyway. She is badass. That is all.

BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS

And Pike. Pike PIKE. Oh Pike, I love you. I always find it amusing that most fans of the show have favourite characters and they're all different and you'll find someone who loves Vax and someone who loves Grog and someone who loves Vex and someone who loves Percy (coughmecough). But if you were to ask the actual characters who their favourite member of Vox Machina was - probably every single one of them would say Pike.

As I'd already seen the show, I was waiting for her astral self to show up and kick major undead ass and she did not disappoint. I'm so glad Scanlan's song over the end credits was about Pike. She deserves all the love. It's weird to think that she was in and out of campaign so much with Blindspot happening, when Pike is just such a major character in everyone's minds.

loveloveLOVED the way Percy was walking across the background while the others were all playing catch the tongue and how the mask just appears when he disappears behind one of them's head. LOVED the backstory we got with both him as an insufferable know-it-all of a big brother (I love him, but by god is he a prick sometimes... (Yes he absolutely reminds me of myself. I am all Percy's uncool parts and none of his cool parts)) and then him *discovering* the secrets of ballistics... ahem. Fuck yes.

I do want to see him interact with more of the team, though. We got some decent Percy & Vax antagonism in this episode, but I'd like to see more of his friendship with Keyleth and maybe some of the way Grog and he are kind of... unable to understand each other because they're coming at everything from opposite directions.

Did I mention I love Pike Trickfoot?

Also did I mention BAD NEWS?

The Vaxleth was strong in this. I remember Vax's 'you know I love you right', but I didn't think it happened in this part. I will confess that I don't remember the development of Vaxleth very well, though.

I was worried about watching these episodes. I've been worried about watching all of the episodes, that I won't like them as much as I think I will. But every time I watch an episode I have a huge grin on my face and I just want to... I just wish that there was some way I could express how incredibly happy this entire show is making me and how much I love these characters and this story and tell the Critical Role team in a way that is not creepy or weird... But trying to take a feeling that is in my chest and shove it at them is always going to be weird.

I've been in a weird non-creative place recently and this show, these characters, this whole thing, is just reminding me that stories mean things to people, because this means way more to me than by any logical measure it should. And it's good to remember that. I'm not going to get maudlin about this, because I absolutely could. I could write paragraphs of terrible over the top prose about the power of fiction. I think I might already have done that. But honestly, it would all just come out as 'life needs things to live' and... yeah.

But I'm also so happy that the Critical Role guys got to do this. That they got to see this. And I watch the opening sequence every time and it's always just as badass as the last eight times I watched it and it makes me so very overjoyed that it exists.

I'm going to stop gushing now.

[willowdied]

things i hope to see next season / general thoughts on the last three episodes before i hop into drafts and such

i will be on and off writing as i am finishing the episode of c3 last night! spoilers to the last three episodes and critical role!

kaylie, kynan, and uh... victor. the last one is mostly a joke ( as much as he cracks me UP )  but wow i really hope kaylie and kynan aren’t cut. 

more! twins!!!! more!!!! tWINS! 

speaking of twins- “ do not go far from me “ and their talk about their mother’s last moments. yes it will break me. yes, i still want to see it

honestly. i hope we get a really fucking awesome vax moment because i feel like everyone got a cool BIG one but him?? ( and i have Just The Idea(s) on where it could be next season )

aramente? aramente.not as important as dragons but uh. Aramente 

give me vax taking care of his love one’s hair its one of my favorite things

KIMA! AND ALLURA! MORE! PLEASE

i wanna know who is voicing Raishan and Thordak. ( and the raven queen??? ) So Bad. please gimme that casting Soon.

speaking of raishan. i want those keyleth monologues and anger as all of That goes down. the tension between her and the others because She Isn’t Sure

i kinda hope they don’t try and fit in ALL of this arch in one season. i sorta want there to be a season four for the last bit??? ( or maybe two season for that too?)

the legends of the mighty nein? the legends of the mighty nein. i just think they would adapt so well to an animated series Wow

this kinda should be in the next bit bellow but. more of percy’s not Quite there to complete forgiveness and going to that transition and the Growth ( i can see why they maybe did that because this was percy’s focused season but uh... i hope. we get to some Character Moments- development and aren’t done with him yet

I am going to chunk this one here. These are three things that I didn’t quite enjoy, like at all and will not be using on characters as it applies - Cassandra being bitten / controlled via arcane means. it really does take a lot away from her betrayal since it wasn’t her choice and likewise/ kinda tying into percy, but wow where is the “i’m a de rolo” turn around?, i Did Not Enjoy the vaxleth feelings re-discussion. Where was that sweet monologue? i. miss that. more twins? more twins.  this is such a small detail but man i really did miss the winters crest moment between vex and vax and kiki and percy. also them? calling out to vax on the ear rings when he’s charmed? i missed that a lot for whatever reason. 

NOW THINGS I LOVED : vaxleth in the little moments ( like him holding her as the smoke fired her back, them leaning on each other in the back. I Don’t Know Those Hit Me Hard ), DARLING!TAKE!THEMASKOFF. Holy. Shit. That was Great. Brilliant. Different but i loved it so much. the mournful delivery of some of Delilah’s lines Great. Good. Brilliant. i also gotta applaud kelly hu. i know there was some changes to ripley. i Did Not Love them but FUCK her delivery of what she got really was brilliant. that vexleth in the last couple of episodes? my GIRLS Yes  ( also not their ship so to say, but i really really like vex’s kinda disapointment at the reaction keyleth had to vax’s checking in ), keyleth shining through? so much? during this season. it really feels nice. speaking of keyleth but keyleth stepping in front of vex because she is terrified of Losing Them? Yep. Ow. ( i hope that is something that is Brought up next season Wow ), VM’S NAMES! ON THE LIST!!! I LOVED THAT THAT WAS GREAT.

THAT BEING SAID. HOLY. SHIT I DID LOVE THESE THREE EPSODES? A LOT? honestly i did love it despite the things i didn’t love and am Very Excited to for more. hopefully more people watch cr from it!

[missizzy]

Fic: Old Home, New Home(Critical Role, Vaxleth)

From the time they stepped out of the tree and into Zephrah, everything has been a rush of greetings and important conversations.  Vax has now been introduced to just about everyone his lover had known well in her youth, had his first good long conversation with her father, and learned a lot more about the general history, culture, and day to day life of the Air Ashari.  It was helping him get an idea of how he might best aid her as the man by her side, especially since there were a few people he met that he was very sure he was going to become good friends with.

The entire time, he and Keyleth had barely had time to talk to each other.  Today's not the only day where that's been too much the case.   Their final days in Whitestone, she spent most of her time badgering Percy, Cassandra, and the city's other leading figures for any advice they could give her and then reading every book in the library they recommended.  Vax, for his own part, prioritized spending time with Vex while he still could.  Even now, as he walks hand in hand with Keyleth to their new bedchamber, his mind dwells on his last sight of her face before the tree closed up.

But now, at last, the two of them are alone together again.  It feels a little strange as they enter the bedroom together, Keyleth looking around at a place that probably in her mind still belongs to her past.  She looks at him and smiles shyly.  "Hi."

"Hi," he agrees.  He takes in her tired face but clouded eyes.  "Ready to sleep?"  he asks.

She has to think about that one, and even after doing so, her best answer is, "Maybe after I change for it?"

Vax probably isn't as tired as her, but unlike Keyleth, he hasn't spent half a day being bombarded with dozens of different thoughts that all might keep a new Headmaster awake on her first night in Zephrah where she didn't have any immediate plans to immediate go off on some other daring deed.  What troubling things he does have to dwell on, missing Vex and the bidding of the Raven Queen still in his future, have settled down in his head, and while there may be nights they might keep him awake, he doesn't think this'll be one of them.

All the clothing he has Vax has brought with him, so he just has to open his pack and fish out his sleepwear.  Of course his taking his armor off is nothing new, since he's been constantly sleeping next to Keyleth.  But it's still a relief, especially now, when it reminds him that he's now free of the menace he was wearing it against, and even most of the other ones that have kept him looking over his shoulder for so long.  He feels more than just the weight of the armor fall off him.

Keyleth, meanwhile, has dug into her old drawers, and donned a nightgown that Vax assumes has just been sitting in them since she first left home.  She is now looking down at how it reaches only partway down her calves; it's obviously meant to reach her ankles.  "When did I get taller?" she wonders out loud.  "I though I'd finished growing already."

"Magic," Vax grins at her, and it might actually be true.   Although he hasn't grown out of anything recently, since pledging himself to the Raven Queen and accepting the powers she's given him, he's felt the magic inside him change him physically-it wouldn't be easy to explain, if anyone ever asked, exactly what has changed, but Vax knows and understands it, which is the important part.

Combined they're a little big for the bed, too, having to snuggle up together to fit.  That's not something either of them minds, though.  Vax slings her arm over Keyleth's chest and lays his head against his neck, the way he often does when they're tired out enough.  He focuses on making his breathing slow and steady, which ought to help her sleep.

He wakes some time later from a dream where by the time his eyes are fully open, he can only remember that it was a very unsettling one. Keyleth is exactly where she was, but she's murmuring in her sleep.   Vax catches the words, "dangerous," "people," and "Scanlan."

It takes a moment for him to remind himself that the two of them are completely safe, that there isn't even anything after them at the moment, as far as they know.  After that, as he gazes around the darkened chamber, he finds himself contemplating everywhere he'd slept in the past, from the hovel in which he lived the first ten years of his life to the grand bedrooms of Whitestone Castle.  None of them ever felt quite like Keyleth's childhood bedroom, not even her room in the Keep.

It's partly the design, of course.  Most rooms Vax has been in haven't had living plants incorporated into their structure.  In the darkness, he can just make out the various vines and even thin shrubs that had been expertly woven against or even into the walls.  For all he knows, the thatch that makes up the rest of the walls is also alive; he might ask Keyleth about that.

But it's also the decorations hanging from the window, little handmade beribboned boughs that were put together lopsided, and would probably have fallen apart if they hadn't been literally joined together by obvious magical means.  There's a doll on a table in the corner, not the fanciest thing, but still a finer one than the poorer half of Byroden would have seen.  The ceiling is decorated with more of the boughs, arranged to form a star, though the lines aren't completely straight.

In some ways, Vax knows, Keyleth actually had less of a childhood than he and Vex did, at least once she started training for her position.  He's not going to begrudge her what she did get.  But he's left very aware of how different his life has been, how for most of it, he never was in this kind of world, where both love and comfort could be easily had in the same place, where he never had to worry about what would become of him and those he cared for, where he'd neither had one accent mocked and bullied out of him nor had another make people look at him warily, grouping him with the snobs of Syngorn.  Where he and Vex had never had to prove themselves to be accepted.

How unlikely it should be, that he and Vex both should come to the places they're now both in.  In new homes they already love, consorts to those that rule them, Vex with her own title and role in hers, where they wouldn't have to worry when they woke each day how they were going to get by.

Had he ended up following a different goddess than the one he's pledged himself to, he would be giving thanks to her for this.  As it is, Vax silently instead asks the darkness to stay where it is for now, for tomorrow, for as long as it's willing to.  Let us both be happy, please, he pleads.  For her sake, if not mine.  She made no bargain with you; all she has done is love me, and she will have too long a way to go after me no matter what happens.  Be kind to her, please.

As if even his thoughts have stirred her, Keyleth murmurs, "That doesn't make sense..." and Vax pulls his head up as her eyes blink open, and while he can only see so much in the darkness, they seem to him to still be moving around too much.  "Vax?"

"Kiki?" he whispers.  "Bad dream?"

"Not bad, exactly," she sighs.  "At least....not like the nightmares I've had in the past.  Nothing was trying to kill us, or even do things like possess us or torture us or nasty things like that."

Vax thinks back to nights in the woods with Vex, and the dreams they'd dealt with then, of all the snubs and trouble they'd suffered in Syngorn lurking in their minds.  There'd been dreams of their mother's death, too, and certain dreams Vex wouldn't talk about in the weeks after Trinket joined them; Vax can guess what those there about now.   But even when they'd slept out in the wild with only themselves and a bear cub to protect them, it was what they'd left behind that haunted them more.

He wonders what kind of dreams he'll be having when they've been here a few months.  Or what dreams she'll be having.

For now, he murmurs,  "Just because the challenges we'll be facing now don't involve us risking our lives doesn't mean it's not okay to be anxious about them.  I mean, right now, my main immediate worry is how your people are going to perceive me, and that terrifies me.  And when I genuinely haven't cared about strangers' opinions of me for most of my life.  That's not anything near what I know you've got to be worrying about right now-except that one of my biggest worries about it is how I'm going to reflect on you, because I know I'm not exactly the ideal consort for a leader, and I don't even have the kind of useful skills Vex does..."

"Vax!"  Keyleth cuts him off, dismayed.  The interruption makes Vax fully aware of what's just spilled out of him, as well as the thoughts he hadn't even been consciously aware of before he voiced them.  When Keyleth pauses, maybe reconsiders her immediate reaction to his words, he himself takes a moment, and finds himself feeling the need to add, "I think it's because I really do like your people, more than I've liked most."

"Well," that makes Keyleth smile, "that makes you far more suited for being my consort than anyone who doesn't feel that way, right?"

"True," he says, "and I know you won't even make demands of me, but I think you know I'll need to do anything I can think of to make myself useful.  Even if it's just spending however many hours it takes to talk you past your nerves and build up your confidence."

"And I don't think anyone's better at that.  You're doing a pretty good job right now."

"I wouldn't mind doing it all night," Vax tells her.  It's a tempting thought, in fact, to just stay like this for the rest of the night, talking the hours away until dawn.  He decides right then they will have nights like that in the future, maybe before mornings when they can sleep in a little.

But tomorrow's not one of those mornings, and they've both had it impressed on them that she and probably him as well will have to be fully there mentally.  So Keyleth, with clear reluctance, replies,   "Thanks, but we need to sleep a little more tonight if we can.  We drifted off once already, right?"

"Right," he says.  "But if you want to talk about your dream, surely we can take a few minutes."

Maybe in the end, they remain awake a little longer than they should.  Keyleth can't remember more than the basic outline of her dream, and even when prompted she can't remember Scanlan being in it at all.  But even the mention of his name brings forward pain and regret they both confess to there, and more words pass between them after that about general insecurities and the future.

Although when Keyleth says, "You might get the most attention at the upcoming midsummer festival, when the people around me won't have more important things to pay attention to," Vax has to grin and say, "I think that might be fun.  Before Vex and I left Byroden, we did pick up a thing or two about our town's seasonal festivals.  I'll tell you a bit about those if we have some time tomorrow."

"Tell the others, too," she says.  "At least some of them must be interested, I think."

Well, if she says so, Vax fully intends to.

[thealternatemind]

some thoughts on widojest, vaxleth, and biphobia in fandom culture

i avoided getting into critical role for a very long time cuz ppl always said that it was homophobic because of the semi-relationship between vax/gilmore. but let me just say that calling that situation homophobic is biphobic. as a bisexual person, seeing a character that is openly bisexual express interest in men, women, and all those in between, is INCREDIBLY important. it normalizes bisexuality because the amount of times i see non-bisexual ppl in the LGBT+ community claim that we’re “not gay enough” is ridiculous. vax is definitely good bi rep.

i hate that i avoided critical role for so long because of that lie saying it’s homophobic. it is a beautiful show filled with wonderful representation. are we going to forget about tary? vex? beau? yasha? molly? sure, the representation isn’t perfect, but at least they’re trying and improving! that’s more than we can say for a lot of media, and we shouldn’t disregard the representation because it isn’t squeaky clean.

and now this whole thing/fan reaction with widojest? i’ll be the first to say that i’m not the biggest fan of the ship, but it’s also not my choice. it’s liam’s choice because caleb is his character. also, as someone that plays d&d, i can tell you that characters take on minds of their own. conscious choices can’t always be made regarding a character’s emotions or feelings. as much as it seems like liam made the decision for caleb to be in love with jester, as someone that plays d&d, i am quite certain caleb made that choice himself. in my experience playing characters, they take on minds of their own, and they just happen to take residence in the player’s mind. even if this weren’t the case though, liam still knows caleb the most.

even though i’m not in love with this ship, i’m happy for the people that like it because it’s not us against them. we all love the same show, so why are we fighting over this? we love it. we should be happy for each other but sad for ourselves.

i interpret caleb as bisexual, and i interpret his interactions with essek to be flirtatious, such as many other queer fans do. HOWEVER, this is not the same situation as vax/gilmore, who went on at least one (if not more, i haven’t watched c1 all the way through) on-screen dates. shadowgast, as much as i love the ship, has little-to-no canon confirmation outside of off-handed hints and comments in the game and on talks. also, vax ending up with keyleth was still totally valid because HEY GUESS WHAT HE’S BI. not to start discourse or anything but to say that this is bad representation is super toxic to bi ppl because telling us we can’t be bi if we’re in a m/f relationship is just wrong.

but anyway, everyone comparing the widojest situation to vaxleth is getting on my nerves because:

vaxleth was not homophobic

widojest is not the same situation as vaxleth

it isn’t homophobic either

saying that both are homophobic because you don’t want to see a m/f ship hurts bi fans

if you want to disagree with me, that’s fine. however, i think there’s something rly important that i need to say in regard to what i’m witnessing in this fandom.

you don’t have to like a ship. that is okay. you don’t need to make it “problematic” in order to dislike it. in the end, expressing your dislike of vaxleth and widojest because you believe them to be “lesbophobic” (because it interferes with beaujester) or “homophobic” comes off as, frankly... biphobic. while trying to come off as woke, it just comes off as regressive and hurtful.

some may argue that it’s not progressive for a bi person to be in an m/f relationship, but i completely disagree. part of being bisexual is the attraction to all genders, and not portraying so is honestly a disservice to the sexuality. also, as i mentioned earlier, there is a huge trend is saying that bi ppl in m/f relationships are actually in “straight” relationships and that it’s not “gay enough.” projecting these feelings onto media and saying this to bi fans deeply hurts them. there are already enough bi ppl out there, including myself, that feel insecure in queer spaces regarding their attraction to the opposite gender, because they’re afraid of receiving comments such as ones like those.

but anyway shipping should not be this big of a discourse, and frankly, it shouldn’t be this deep. it’s okay to dislike a ship without making it problematic, especially if making it “problematic” is hurting bi fans, like myself, in the process.

widojest stans, i’m happy for you. i hope that you’re able to enjoy this confirmation despite some of the negativity i’ve seen. don’t forget to love each other ❤️

[beetlemancy]

Anon again: Thank you!! I appreciate you taking the time to answer me because I am kind of active in the community but very very new. I did know your opinions but being new I just wanted to know whether those recent posts held any weight. I want to be socially responsible with my media consumption and I was worried there was something I was missing, given I have seen specific call outs for certain cast members (Travis, Laura, Sam, and Liam) recently. Thanks again!!

Anon pt2: you don’t have to post this but for context the call out posts were as follows: Travis actively supports the military, Laura voiced a black character?, Sam did brown face??, and Liam is fake woke/virtual signaling (or something along those lines). Obviously I can find out information about this for myself but I have seen more anti-CR stuff lately which prompted my ask.

As with everything, I suggest you do your own reading on those topics, and any topic that comes up in regards to the media you watch. Below is simply my opinion. Note: this gets long.

Travis does support the military - but not as an institution. He has family in the military. He supports the soldiers. He works with Operation Supply Drop and I’d encourage you to look into OSD specifically. Whether you agree with the idea that we should even have a military or not, you cannot deny that our veterans and soldiers are given the short end of the stick. We cannot just abandon them because helping them might be viewed as giving money to the military. I have so many military vets in my disability groups. The VA is awful because it has no funding (I know good people who work at the VA too, but they just cannot help everyone like they’d want to). Programs like OSD are genuinely helpful to a lot of hurting folk and the people who shit on Travis and CR for promoting and helping them out have clearly never actually sat down and talked to a vet or a soldier before. 

Laura and many many other voice actors have voiced people of color in various shows. Yes, this is a legit problem. However, obviously as with most things, the problem is nuanced. The fault mainly lies with the VO industry as a whole, in that actors actually have very little control over what they do. There was a whole strike about this very topic (though the strike covered other issues in the industry as well). In the case of Laura, for instance, she was never told what her character would look like until after the fact. And that is super common in the industry. One of the things they tried to get in the strike was more transparency so that actors could make the decisions themselves whether to voice characters or not - not just based on race or culture but also based on type of work (stressful screaming vs chill dialogue) and whether the content of the game itself was something they wanted their name attached to. 

Sam’s blackface scandal is extremely old news. That’s not to say it isn’t important to note, and in fact Sam made a point to note it again back in 2018. I know people who can’t watch CR because of it, even after his apology, and that’s fine because its not my place to judge others for how they react to that kind of thing. However I know a lot of people who read his apology and the circumstances surrounding it and decided to forgive. To some people, the fact that he was asked to do so by will.i.am changes the situation. To others, it doesn’t. To some the fact that he apologized and has clearly worked to improve his behavior matters, to others it doesn’t. You have to decide that for yourself. You can read Sam’s letter HERE. 

Now. Regarding Liam. * sigh * I think, and again this is my opinion, that you cannot proclaim someone you do not know as ‘fake woke.’ I think there are parts of this fandom that have it out for Liam because of a whole bunch of gross reasons, many of which I’ve spoken about before. He is sensitive and a man - that makes people uncomfy. He plays a lot of women characters and tends to embody them in both personality and body language - that makes people uncomfy. He fully embraces the bi energy (this is not to say whether he himself is or not) - that makes a lot of people uncomfy (and angry). He loves theatre and loves to explore the human condition, warts and all - that makes people super uncomfy. Now. There are people who thinks he’s homophobic. Do you know why? Its because his bi character ended up with a woman instead of a man. That is biphobia, no matter how they twist it. Bi people being “allowed” to be bi and not ‘pick the right side’ in the LG (not BT, lets be real) community IS revolutionary because its so very hated. 

Another reason they say he’s homophobic is because of the jokes he is often involved in - some gay men in the fandom believe that joking about sex is him ‘making fun’ of gay relationships. As a bi enby, I disagree, and I read many of the jokes he himself makes as the kind of humor I use among my own friends. I think there is a definite disconnect between bi vs LG humor and I’m not entirely sure who would be considered in the ‘right’ on that. However, when LG people in the fandom claim that he cannot talk about gay relationships because he is cishet? They cannot know that. That is an assumption they are making. When LG fans say that he alone is responsible for this issue and not -literally every single member of CR- ? I have to question whether its really the issue and not just that they still hate Liam for deigning to make a bi character bi instead of gay.

Another thing re: Liam. Aside from Marisha, he is the one I see the most hate about. People on Twitter and Tumblr both have legit uttered death threats about him if he doesn’t do exactly what they want his characters to do in the game. Usually this is about shipping. I have seen people claim that they WISH he was ‘like vic mignogna’ so they’d have a reason to hate him more. I’ve seen a certain group of people and one in particular say they have ‘dirt’ on him but refuse to say what the dirt is - and yet continually bring up that it exists, but that they just cannot say. Why would you incessantly bring up information you possess just to say that you cannot divulge such information? 

Legit issues about CR that is attached to Liam is the whitewashing issue. Some say that only Liam is responsible here because he controls all the art. I would say that we actually don’t know that for sure. He is ‘Art Dad’ and clearly has some pull. I do think that CR should address this issue, but I’m not sure they can legally do what the fandom wants them to do, which is “call-out” artists by name and denounce them. Now, this too is more nuanced than the fandom makes out because its often way more about colorism vs whitewashing. Many people do not draw Beau as white, but they do draw her as much lighter skin tones than her original art. Colorism is a real problem, but white allies tend to go about talking about it wrong or making smaller things a bigger deal when POC would really rather talk about something more important to them. It was these same white allies that tore Mica Burton apart on Twitter because she liked and enjoyed a drawing of Reani, her own character, that was a few shades lighter than the drawing she herself had brought in, even after she had said that she appreciated the variety of skin tones due to seeing herself in each of them. On the topic of whitewashing/colorism in the fandom, I personally tend to wait to hear from POC over the masses of white allies.

The CR fandom is very big for a niche thing like DnD. As such, there are many many corners of the fandom that can get really jaded, really dark, and really up their own ass in regards to the discourse. There are legitimate issues in the fandom and with CR as a whole. Nothing is perfect, nothing ever will be perfect, and people should absolutely do what they can to do better and to ask their media to do better. That being said, there are also people who think that if you don’t do something exactly like they want, then you’re Problematic by default. There are also members of this fandom who have an active vendetta against certain cast members and will use any opportunity to co-opt legit issues in order to shore up their false arguments. These people are only using the real issues and it becomes clear pretty quickly that they don’t actually give a shit about the people they say they are trying to speak up for. 

There is also some fandom drama that has occurred ONLY in fandom and has absolutely nothing to do with CR other than the fact that the people involved happen to be CR fans. Certain people in the fandom think that CR should arbitrate this issue and involve themselves, call out the individuals responsible, etc. This is, I believe, a GROSS misconception of what CR’s role is and asking way too much of a source of entertainment. The fact that CR has not involved themselves in this issue has led certain members of this fandom to claim that CR is homophobic. I would caution that most callouts of CR as homophobic are directly linked to this first issue, and also a callback to the Vaxleth drama from campaign one, and is incontrovertibly tied to bi and enby-phobia and a seriously sick misunderstanding of the responsibilities a show has versus the responsibility individuals have as viewers of said show. 

That’s it for now. I could go way more in depth on this problems, but I’m tired of typing. Suffice it to say, its easy to make a list of things Problematic with CR, but once you actually delve into each topic hopefully you’ll realize how complicated and filled with nuance and Different Opinions going on back from the first episode of Campaign One... Listing problems without actually addressing them head-on isn’t a good way to deal with the problems that are true anyway, let alone tell them from the false ones. 

[disasterhumans]

Caleb and Vax for question thingy?

oh, did you want me to talk about my love for Liam O’Brien’s brain and character-crafting genius, anon??? i remain baffled by the fact i relate to liam the most. i’ll never be over it.

Caleb:

Do you love/hate/don’t feel strongly about this character?

I’m sure this will come as a shock, but Caleb is tied with Beau as my favorite character in campaign 2. I love my stinky wizard son.

What’s your favorite trait of this character?

I may start sounding like a broken record for this question, because it’s definitely how much he cares about people--and Nott especially--in spite of himself. I fall in love with characters who fall in love with their people. I’m actually fairly certain that if Caleb and Nott had not started out the campaign as friends that I would not like Caleb nearly so much. He cares for people, and is soft with Nott and Jester especially, and is protective of his people (in spite of his “cowardice”). And even when he has a hard time admitting he cares about other people, he still finds ways to express his affection in other ways. But he’s grown increasingly more vocal about his affection and care, and has always been pretty quick to (awkwardly) compliment the things he likes about his friends. Caleb Widogast is incapable of not loving his friends and is the best thing about him. If only he realized that. (He’s getting better.)

I also love how silly he is :P

What’s your favorite moment/event involving this character?

As with Beau, every Team Human conversation is near and dear to my heart and those have all been some of my favorite moments the whole campaign. Pretty much every time Caleb is pushed into admitting he cares about his friends is Quality Content and it kills me every time. I think that him admitting “I need you to be my friend.” and his sad, quiet “I’ve been like this for so long,” from episode 57 may be new favorites.

If you could have one power/attribute/etc. of this character, what would it be?

As @night-filled-mountain​ the ability to summon a cat at will is pretty much all I could ever ask for

Have you ever pictured this character naked?

Only because he has canonically been naked.

When did you fall in love/hate with this character? If you don’t have any strong feelings toward them, why not?

I’m pretty sure I fell in love with him as soon as he started talking to Nott. I loved him from the very beginning, and nothing sticks out as specific moment. His first wisdom save after killing someone with fire is probably when I got truly invested in his story.

Who’s your OTP for this character?

Caleb/Recovery. I semi-ship Widofjord (mostly because Travis and Liam are Menaces), and I find Clayleb to be Soft and Cute, but I’m not actually invested in them as actual romantic relationships. I’d be perfectly happy if Caleb ended this campaign with no romantic attachments. I’m most invested in him getting to the point where he can admit that he loves with friends without reservation and without (verbal) caveats. I want him to reach a point where he feels like he can accept (platonic) affection from people aside from Nott. And, again, I want more Team Human cuddles, dammit!!

Vax:

Do you love/hate/don’t feel strongly about this character?

I LOVE VAX’ILDAN VESSAR SO MUCH. He is probably my favorite C1 character, though that spot cycles between a few different characters at any given time.

What’s your favorite trait of this character?

I love how intensely he feels, across the board. He’s as capable of great deals of joy and delight as he is of sorrow. He’s so full of love and life, even in his darkest moments.

What’s your favorite moment/event involving this character?

It’s a smaller one, in the midst of a great deal of great moments, but I think the conversation he has with Vex right before the Chroma Conclave arc begins about feeling directionless is one of the more important character moments to me in general. Part of the reason I love Vax so much is that his depression looks pretty similar to my own--more so than is true for pretty much any other depressed character I’ve seen before. That quiet feeling of just not knowing what you’re doing--of not knowing the point--that’s something that I feel pretty consistently, even when it’s not attached to suicidal ideation. A lot of my favorite Vax moments echo this--like his conversation with Scanlan about how he manages to be so happy, in spite of everything--and I love each and every one. But while that conversation with Vex wasn’t the moment I fell in love with him, it’s the moment that stands out as when he became specifically and emotionally important to me.

Also every single scene of him doing one of the girls’/Trinket’s hair. Modern AU Vax is a high femme stylist and you can’t convince me otherwise.

If you could have one power/attribute/etc. of this character, what would it be?

Like Vex, I too envy his ability to fly at ridiculous speeds per second. Though I also wish I could just stealth nope out of emotionally difficult conversations. 

Have you ever pictured this character naked?

Liam O’Brien gave me canonical wingfic sex and my brain filled in the blanks. (Shockingly I think I’ve only found like one fic of that moment though).

When did you fall in love/hate with this character? If you don’t have any strong feelings toward them, why not?

In general I have a hard time knowing when specifically I fell in love with any C1 characters, because I watched in a very short span of time, and also because it took me a while to really fall in love with C1 as a whole. But the earliest Vax moment that stands out for me is his near death at the very beginning of the Briarwood arc when he pictures Vex’ahlia and Keyleth. That was the moment I knew that, even if I hadn’t fully fallen in love with the campaign yet, once I did I was in for emotional ruination. (I was right.)

Who’s your OTP for this character?

GIVE ME THAT VAXLETHILMORE OT3 LIAM O’BRIEN. VAX HAD TWO HANDS, LIAM. 

*ahem* That being said--Vaxleth is probably the CR romantic ship I feel most strongly about. Two people with depression and anxiety and lots of big feelings about mortality figuring out how to love each other? I can strongly relate. A man who is just utterly smitten with literally everything his badass girlfriend does and is turned on by her being able to turn into an adult dragon? Can also relate.

[nicolewrites]

heartstrings - ii

hey it’s been less than 48 hours, but this keeps getting longer and longer. originally should have been a one-shot is likely going to be ~4 parts now. Just a slight warning, some mentions of alcohol abuse and past abusive relationships. Anyways,

part i

Rating: T Genre: Romance Characters: [Vax’ildan and Keyleth] [Percival de Rolo and Vex’ahlia] Words: 6258

Kiki @keylethashari has tagged you in a tweet: New Q&A up and we’re talking music! creds to @vexmachina @vaxmachina @burtreynoldsesq @thelumineers and others!! // CR1 Vaxleth+Perc’ahlia YouTuber/Musician/Celebrity AU

AO3

“So, one more time, if we sign this, then we get complete creative control over our album plus we can keep releasing videos and stay active on YouTube?” Vex asked as she flipped to the second page of the heavy contract before her.

Cassandra nodded. “It’s definitely important that you guys get to keep your brand which is two siblings making videos and singing together. We just want to help you be able to distribute your music. We can hook you up with collaborators or producers or even just get you better equipment.”

Vax exhaled and fiddled with the corner of the contract. “And there’s no rush, right? No pressure on us to have an album out in the next month or anything?”

Cassandra smiled. “Well I figured your first step could be to record some of your more popular covers and release a cover album. It will be a good way to both introduce you to the studio and better quality recording equipment as well as reintroduce the world to the Vox Machina they already love. 

Vex and Vax made eye contact. Everything that was being proposed seemed in their favour and Cassandra and Whitestone had definitely been the most respectful of the fact that they had shot to fame so suddenly that they were still adjusting. In all honesty, Vax could have been ready to sign with the label from the first meeting they had, but they did need time to consider all of their options. 

Conclave Recording Studios had offered them a much larger signing bonus, but that contract had been riddled with little hooks that robbed them of certain royalties, their creative freedom, and even control over their YouTube channel. That had been an easy deal to turn down, even if the money was a little tempting. 

Still, Cassandra had come back with a counteroffer once she learned that the twins were considering other avenues and had presented them with total control, no restrictions on their channel, and a bonus bigger than Whitestone’s original offer, though not quite at the same size as what Conclave was willing to give. 

Vex smiled at Cassandra and picked up the pen. “Well, this all sounds perfect to me.”

“I can agree with that,” Vax added as he flipped to the final page. 

They both signed their names on each copy of the contract and Cassandra scrawled her name in beside theirs. The beautiful woman who had been lurking in the back of the office stepped forwards and signed as the witness before she clasped her hands and gave both twins a radiant smile. 

“I look forward to working with both of you!”

Vax raised an eyebrow and glanced at Cassandra. The record owner smiled and patted the beautiful woman on the back. “Vex’ahlia, Vax’ildan, this is Zahra, the publicist I previously mentioned. She’s in charge of my most important clients and I know you’ll love her.”

Zahra grinned widely. “I can already see that the two of you will sell as you’ve managed to prove that yourself with your channel.”

Vex stood up and held her hand out for Zahra to shake. “Well, darling, I’m sure it will be a pleasure to work with you as well.”

Zahra winked at Vex. “Aren’t you charming! I can see what Percy likes in this one for sure.” Vax rose to his feet and gave Cassandra another curious look. He glanced back at Zahra who was leaning against Cassandra’s desk, still smiling. “You know Percy?”

Zahra waved her hand. “Entirely too well. He used to be my client before I passed him off to the very capable hands of my friend Vanessa. Plus, I’ve been working with Cassandra for a while and you don’t work with one de Rolo without seeing the other at every turn.”

Cassandra shrugged. “Well, I can’t deny that, I am having lunch with Percy today. You are welcome to join us if you’d like, Vex, Vax.”

Vex smiled. “I’d love to, but don’t tell him I’m coming, I’d like to see the look on his face when I just appear.” Vax shook his head. Typical Vex’ahlia. He slid his phone out of his pocket and smiled faintly, an idea flitting across his mind. “I have to pass, but this has been a pleasure.”

The three women in the room shrugged and returned back to easy conversation as Vax opened a new message. 

[Vax] so i know this is probably a little last minute, but how’s today for that raincheck from Scanlan’s.

The reply was almost instant.

[Keyleth] oh you are alive aha. today is actually perfect for me. what did u have in mind??

-

Vax had seen enough of Keyleth’s videos to know that she absolutely adored the vegan lunch place on 6th Street. When he had suggested it, she had sent him four texts of incomprehensible gibberish to show her excitement. Vax had simply smiled and excused himself from Cassandra’s office, calling an Uber as he went. 

When he arrived at the restaurant he decided that this place was exactly the type of place he would expect Keyleth to frequent. It was decorated with dozens of plants and succulents as well as some casual bohemian decorations. It almost reminded him of the room she often filmed her videos in, so it made sense. He had managed to beat her there, so he stood on the curb, hands in his pockets as he waited. 

He waited for seven minutes before a car pulled up and she flew out of the backseat, smiling like crazy. Her red hair was tugged into a ponytail and she was wearing denim overalls with a floral blouse. Her eyes twinkled as she caught sight of him and she pulled him into a tight hug. Vax hugged her back and caught a strong floral whiff that was probably perfume, but he liked to think that Keyleth, the radiant ball of sunshine, just naturally smelled like flowers.

“It only took us two months to reschedule this thing,” Keyleth laughed as she pulled back, leaving her hands resting on his shoulders. 

Vax shrugged. “Self-employment is incredibly difficult,” he said teasingly. 

Keyleth retracted her arms and smiled at him. “Very funny.” She looked up at the restaurant and smiled. “Have you been here before?”

“Melora’s Garden? No, I haven’t. I actually stole the idea from one of your videos.” 

Keyleth laughed and Vax immediately wanted her to do it again. “So you do watch my videos.” Vax smirked. “I’ll admit to that when you admit to watching ours.” “Vox Machina? Only one of my favourite channels lately.”

“Come on, let’s eat. I have news.”

Keyleth linked their arms and pulled him through the front door. “News?”

She turned away briefly to motion to the hostess that they needed a table for two, but she quickly turned her bright, curious green eyes back to him. Vax led her, following the hostess, and kept his mouth shut. As they sat down across from each other, Keyleth linked her fingers and rested her chin atop them, leaning forward.

“Come on, don’t keep me in suspense!”

“Well, I’ve been so busy lately because Vex and I signed with Whitestone this morning,” he revealed.

Keyleth’s beautiful smile spread from ear to ear. She reached out and squeezed one of his hands. “Vax! Congratulations! You guys definitely deserve this. Does this mean I’ll finally be able to buy one of your albums and do an entire video dedicated to why it’s one of the best of all time?”

He squeezed her fingers back in return. “Well, Cassandra wants us to release kind of a ‘Greatest Hits’ of the channel album first before we release any original stuff. She said it would be the world’s reintroduction to us as a real music group.”

Keyleth nodded. “I guess that makes sense, but in my opinion, you guys were a real music group the minute you decided to release your first video. Besides, I happen to think the couple of originals you guys have done have been your best work.”

Vax chuckled. “Thank you, but I don’t think we quite have the mindset to record an entire album of originals at this point. Songs like Phoenix never would have even been finished without your help, you know.”

Keyleth cocked her head. “Vax, I gave you like 7 words of feedback total. The rest was all you: the music, the lyrics, everything. You guys made that happen, not me.” She smiled at him again, but it was more tentative, like the shyer Keyleth he’d met at Scanlan’s party. 

Before he could reply again, a waitress was filling both of their glasses with water and smiling down at them. “Are we ready to order?”

Vax’s brain stalled. He had been so caught up that he hadn’t even glanced at the menu in front of him. Keyleth seemed to notice his deer-in-headlights expression, and she smiled politely at the waitress. 

“I think we need a few more minutes.”

The waitress nodded and bustled off to help someone else. 

Keyleth nudged the menu towards him, smiling. “Better take a look before she comes back and we’re still sitting here stupidly.”

Vax chuckled and picked it up. He flipped the menu up and skimmed his eyes over the selection of Buddha bowls. He paused when he realized that Keyleth was just watching him and hadn’t even looked at her own menu. 

“Kiki, are you going to order?”

She waved him off. “I’m getting Bowl 7, I already knew that.”

Vax put the menu down and grinned at her crookedly. “I think I’ll get the same.”

Her eyes twinkled as she slipped the menu out of his hands. “Well that’s easy for the waitress, isn’t it?”

-

Lunch was great. The food was different, but tasted delicious and Keyleth and him were able to keep a steady flow of easy, fun conversation. She talked about her father and her home and how she decided to move to L.A. Vax, in turn, told her the simplified version of why he and Vex left London and how important it was for them to have a fresh start. 

Keyleth listened with rapt attention and made insightful and supportive comments whenever Vax struggled to put something into words. Talking to her felt like one of the easiest things he’d ever done, even when he was recounting the worst times of his life. Even though she hadn’t known the struggles he had, she was patient with him and she didn’t assume anything about him or his sister. 

He gladly would have sat and talked with her in the restaurant for longer, but as they were finishing their meals, Keyleth’s phone started vibrating with repeated notifications. She frowned and unlocked it. It immediately took her to the Twitter app and Vax watched her face pale as she looked around nervously.

“Keyleth?” he asked cautiously. 

She sighed and turned the screen towards him. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

Ashari Army @keylethsashariarmy • 7 minutes ago

GUUUUUUUYS. @keylethashari is having lunch with someone?? They’re at Melora’s and it LOOKS like a date?? Can we get our best investigators on this ASAP. 

Vax blinked as he scanned the tweet. It had a hundred retweets and three hundred likes. People were replying, eagerly urging the original account to post a photo. Keyleth pulled her phone away and dropped it into her purse. 

She stood up and held out her hand for him to take. He hesitated before he accepted it and let her pull him towards the back of the restaurant. The staff members there looked up as they approached and exchanged looks between them.

Keyleth smiled politely. “Hi, I’m Keyleth Ashari, is the manager here?”

There was a brief scuffle as two waiters slipped into the back and reappeared with an old woman who brightened when she saw Keyleth. 

“Oh! Keyleth, dear, what can I do for you?”

Keyleth brushed some hair away from her face and dropped Vax’s hand abruptly. “Uvenda, I think there’s someone here trying to take a photo so I was wondering if you would be able to charge my card for the meals and let us leave out the back?”

Uvenda nodded immediately. “Of course. Just come with me this way, alright?” For the first time, the old woman turned her eyes to Vax and the soft, affectionate look she carried for Keyleth vanished in favour of a much more suspicious, guarded look. “And you are?”

Keyleth’s hand slid into his again. “Uvenda, this is Vax.”

The old woman raised an eyebrow and smirked a little. “Of course. Anyways, right this way dears.”

They were escorted out the rear of the restaurant and Keyleth laughed as they walked through the back parking lot to the next road. She glanced back at the restaurant and giggled. 

“That’ll teach them to ruin my dates.”

Warmth spread through Vax’s stomach. “A date?” Surprise shuttered her features and he laughed. He stepped up, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Don’t worry Kiki, I’m not some internet fan reading too much into things. This was two friends out for lunch.”

She beamed radiantly at him. She ducked out from under his arm and danced away from him, twirling as she laughed. “God do I ever miss freedom and anonymity though,” she said, glancing back at him.

Vax slid his hands into his pockets and watched her. She was as radiant and as beautiful as the sun, even if she could be awkward and goofy and shy. She was alarmingly human and charming and he knew exactly where her popularity stemmed from. And he understood her. Her charms and her stumbles and her desire to have one uninterrupted afternoon. 

She paused in her step and glanced down at the pavement, where her shadow was cast across the pavement. A sly smile slid over her face. “Hey, Vax, come here for a minute.”

He stepped up next to her so their silhouettes were aligned. She slid her arm around his waist and gave him a side hug. She paused and snapped a photo of their entwined shadows before she stepped back. She tapped something out on her phone before she slid it back into her pocket, beaming. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t I get to see?”

“You’re following me, aren’t you?”

He shook his head, but he couldn’t help but smile as he pulled out his own phone to check Keyleth’s Twitter account.

Kiki @keylethashari • Just Now

Sunny days are the best days!! #shadowart | at Melora’s Garden

The tweet was accompanied with the picture she’d just taken of them. Fans were already filling up her replies, demanding to know who she was posing with. Vax smiled at her over his phone and she gave him a gentler, bashful smile. 

“It’s okay, right?”

He nodded. “I’d like it, but that might give people the wrong impression.”

Before he could say anything else, his phone vibrated with a text. 

[Vex] Percival and I are going for drinks on Friday. 

[Vex] Get on my level, darling

Vax smirked as he typed out his reply. 

[Vax] Check Twitter, Stubby.

There was a long moment before Vex replied.

[Vex] OH SHIT so thaaaat’s why you bailed on lunch. Well. 

Keyleth cocked her head at him. “Vax?”

He pocketed his phone. “I believe I was promised a full day of adventures, no? Lunch is one thing, but you must have other favourite parts of the city to show me.”

-

Vax was on the couch watching a fail compilation that Keyleth had sent to him, when his twin senses started tingling. Obviously, there was no way that it was actually a thing, but Vex and Vax had both always been very reactive to the approach of each other, so one night Kima had called it twin senses, and the name had stuck. 

He looked up just as the door opened and Vex walked in. She was wearing an emerald green blouse and black skirt and her lipstick and dark hair were just the tiniest bit mussed, but it was enough to know that her date with Percy had to have gone at least mostly well. To his surprise, Vex didn’t even glance his way as she headed straight for the kitchen. 

He rose carefully and followed her, stepping over the heels that she kicked off on her way there. He walked into the kitchen and found her measuring a generous amount of gin into a glass before topping it off with club soda. She sipped it with what could almost be described as anger, and Vax furrowed his brow. 

“Stubby?”

She spun so fast that she almost dropped her drink. “Jesus, Vax, you scared the shit out of me.”

“You walked right past me. I was in the living room,” he said. Despite his initial impression that her date went well, wariness crept along his mind. “Weren’t you just at a bar?” he asked, gesturing to the heavy drink she was holding like a lifeline. 

Vex pursed her lips. “Can’t exactly get drunk on a first date, no matter how charming the movie star is.” She gulped down more of the drink, furrowing her brow at the bitter alcohol taste. 

Vax stepped past her and poured himself a drink, sipping it slowly. Vex drained her drink quickly and snatched the gin from him as she poured another, not even bothering with the soda this time. 

“Vex?” he asked carefully. “Are you okay?”

She shrugged. “I’m fine, darling, just some paparazzi that interrupted a moment I would have rather been private, but I suppose that’s what I get for liking the charming movie star.”

Vax took another slow sip of his drink. “Oh.”

She waved a hand at him. “Since you’re hanging around Keyleth a lot, you must notice that her fans are absolutely rabid. Percy’s like that, except they’re all major magazine headlines.”

“And you told him you were uncomfortable?”

She laughed. “He was more uncomfortable than me. We’re having dinner at his place on Wednesday as so to avoid such things next time.”

He nodded. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time.”

Vex glanced between her empty glass and the bottle once more before she smiled tentatively at Vax. “I like him, Vax, I really, really do.”

Vax tucked his arm around her and hugged her. “I’m glad.” He paused, not wanting to overstep. “For the record, I like him much better than-”

“That’s not hard,” she said sharply, cutting him off. Drunk, honest Vex’ahlia was gone and she had been replaced with the guarded, colder version of his sister that came out anytime she spoke of their last year in London. 

Vax frowned, but he let it slide. He managed to wrangle the bottle away from Vex and get her in bed, but as he stared at their liquor cabinet, he couldn’t help but feel it would be better entirely empty permanently. 

-

The ringing of his phone woke him up the next morning. He rolled sideways, grabbing it and staring at the screen. He raised an eyebrow, but answered it quickly.

“Shaun?”

“I’m assuming she hasn’t seen it yet, has she?”

“Seen what?” he asked. He sat up and rolled his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes and adjusted the phone at his ear.

“I’ll send you the link, just give me a moment.”

His phone buzzed with a text and Vax switched to speakerphone so he could open it and stay on the call. Gilmore had texted him a link to a tweet by the Hollywood Reporter.

Hollywood Reporter @THR • 9 hours ago

‘Light of the Night’ actor Percival de Rolo caught locking lips with one half of YouTube pop-folk duo Vox Machina. 

The tweet was accompanied by two photos. The first was Vex and Percy looking cozy and happy at some bar and the second was Percy planting one on Vex as her arms locked around his neck. Vax cursed. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then,” Gilmore replied carefully. 

Vax sighed. “I should go make sure she doesn’t lose her shit. Thanks for the call, Shaun.”

“Of course.”

Vax hung up the phone and bolted out of his room. To his surprise, Vex was already awake, pacing around the living room in an oversized sweater as she spoke urgently on the phone in low tones. She looked a little surprised when she saw Vax, but she just gestured to her phone helplessly and he nodded.

Vax headed instead for the kitchen and started a cup of coffee. The pot was almost completely done brewing by the time Vex strolled in after him, looking more exhausted than she’d been in a long time. Vax didn’t say anything, he just held his arms open and let her walk into them, resting her head against his chest tiredly.

“Zahra and Vanessa are working on spinning those photos. I’m honestly not that bothered, but Percy isn’t happy.” She paused looking up at him, a small smile on her face. “He wanted to keep this between us for a while.” 

“He seems serious about you,” Vax commented, still carefully watching Vex’s face.

She shrugged and withdrew from him. “I guess so,” she replied noncommittally. 

Vax held in a sigh. The tinge of vulnerability and emotion Vex had shown was back behind layers of practiced smiles and charm. Something was wrong, and he didn’t know how to get her to admit it. He wasn’t sure where this was stemming from as all the time they’d spent in L.A., he had yet to see her looking like this.

He poured her a cup of coffee instead and tugged on the end of her loose braid. She grumbled and swatted at him, but at least he got a genuine smile out of her for it. 

-

Vax was feeling oddly nervous as he walked across the lobby of the apartment complex. He’d been here a few times before, but this felt different. He made eye contact with the security guard who waved him towards the elevators with hardly a second look. Vax stepped into the clean elevator and punched the button for the 14th floor. He slid his hands into his pockets and rocked onto his toes as the elevator ascended.

The doors opened and he let his feet guide him to apartment 1417. He knocked on the door and waited for a long moment before the door swung inwards. Instead of the freckled face and green eyes of Keyleth like he’d been expecting, Vax was met with a man he didn’t recognize at all. 

The guy had sharp features and brown hair that hung just lower than his ears. The stranger raised an eyebrow at Vax and shifted his weight before he stepped back from the door and motioned for Vax to enter. Vax stepped in cautiously, still eyeing the man with mild confusion. 

“Kash, who was at the door?” Keyleth called from further in the apartment. 

Vax walked through into her living room, accompanied by the man apparently named ‘Kash’. Keyleth looked up from where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor. She beamed when she saw Vax. 

“You’re a little early aren’t you?”

Vax shrugged. “Like five minutes.”

Keyleth giggled and stood up. She crossed the room and wrapped him in a hug. She smelt like flowers again. She stepped back and looked from Vax to the other man. She straightened suddenly and laughed. 

“Wow I forgot you two haven’t met yet. Vax, this is Kashaw, my publicist. Kash, this is Vax’ildan, he’s one of Zahra’s clients.”

Vax glanced at the other man who had visibly relaxed as he nodded. “You’re part of Vox Machina, right?” Kashaw inquired, crossing his arms.

Vax nodded. “Yeah, that would be my sister and I.”

“Zahra thinks you guys have got the stuff to make it big,” Kash said. 

Vax raised an eyebrow and glanced at Keyleth. She rolled her eyes. “As you can tell, Kash is definitely a ball of sunshine who is brilliant with people. But, as you probably couldn’t tell, he’s engaged to Zahra and they both work together at the agency.”

Vax glanced at Kashaw again. His brain really couldn’t seem to process the fact that this guy was engaged to the bubbly, enthusiastic manager/publicist Cassandra had introduced Vex and Vax to. It seemed almost comical to align the two in his brain. 

“But, we’re not here to talk about Kash and his terrible people skills. We’re here to make a video!” Keyleth said excitedly. 

Kashaw nodded. “Well that’s my cue to leave. Remember what I said, right Keyleth?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, I’ll be mindful of what we share. It’s not a live stream so we can always edit out anything that doesn’t fit.”

With that, Keyleth’s publicist vanished and Vax heard the apartment door shut behind him. Keyleth immediately grabbed Vax’s arm and pulled him to her couch where they sat side by side. She stared at him. 

“You’re sure you want to do this, right?”

Vax smiled. “Kiki, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to.”

She nodded. “Well, I know, but usually you and Vex are a packaged deal, so I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with singing on your own and stuff.” Vax laughed. “If you were anyone else, I would say no, but it’s all good.”

She smiled. “Well then, let’s start, shall we!”

She stood from the couch and moved into the armchair across from him. She fiddled with something on her camera before motioning for him to move over so he was out of frame temporarily. She hit the record button and moved into position on the couch. 

“Hello everyone! Welcome back to Variety Thursdays where I make whatever kind of video feels right!” She smiled charmingly. “I know people have been begging for another collaboration video and for another one about music, so I have decided to deliver on both of those fronts.”

She pointed at the camera. “Now, last time I made a music video, I talked about my favourite groups including one that I’d just discovered through my good friend Scanlan Shorthalt. I’m happy to say this video has changed a lot of things for me, including the fact that I’m not just raving about the incredibly talented Vox Machina to a camera since,” she paused, reaching over to grab Vax’s arm so she could yank him into view, “I’m actually sitting here with half of Vox Machina as we speak!”

Vax smiled for the camera and looked back at Keyleth. “Your video opened a lot of doors for us, so really, I think I should be thanking you for everything.” 

She bumped their shoulders together. “Nonsense. You and Vex are crazy talented so I’m definitely a big fan of yours.” She grabbed the stack of papers from the coffee table. “Let’s get to the whole point of this video! The people want to know you! Of course they know me, but let’s talk about the mysterious YouTube Twins who just popped out of nowhere with crazy vocals.”

Vax shrugged. “Vex is the singer. I play guitar mostly. But, if you’re asking, we moved here from London about 5 years ago for a couple of different reasons. The channel is actually due to pressure by a close friend of ours, Shaun Gilmore, who thought we were talented enough to get somewhere.” He looked more closely at the camera. “So Gilmore, I guess we owe you a bigger thanks than previously given.”

Keyleth beamed at him. “And you and I started chatting after I talked about you from Star Search, and we’ve become friends since then.” Vax smiled. “Honestly Keyleth, I really think we ought to credit Scanlan and Pike a bit more. They’re the whole reason I didn’t chicken out of talking to you since they invited Vex and I to that party where I literally crashed into you.”

“Yes, of course, we cannot forget the contributions from the others that actually taught me how much of a dork you are in real life.”

“Hey, you’re the one who snuck us out the rear of that restaurant.”

Keyleth smiled at him and for a moment Vax forgot the cameras were rolling because she was all he could focus on. She was an absolute natural and she made him feel at ease even though he could still get nervous in front of the cameras for his own videos. 

“So can we talk music then? Because you guys just announced that you’re signing with Whitestone Records, right?”

Vax nodded. “Yeah, Cassandra has been great to work with and Vex and I are really excited. We decided to produce some of our best covers first and do kind of a ‘best of the already released gems’ for our first outing, but we’re definitely not a one-trick pony. The channel isn’t going anywhere and you can definitely expect more original content in the future.”

“Oh my gosh, please let’s talk originals because Phoenix is amazing and so is Victory Lap. We know that you wrote most of Phoenix and Vex is the genius behind Victory Lap, so is there anything you can tell me for a hint?” She cast the camera a sly glance. “Well, I guess me and the people who’ll be watching this video.”

Vax looked around jokingly like he was looking for an eavesdropper. “Well, I guess, since I already cleared this with Vex, we can talk about something I’ve been cooking up.” He cleared his throat and Keyleth beamed. 

“A pretty girl picks up the pieces that the world said would never be masterpieces,” he sang gently. “She spins gold from the rubble, breaks away from all of her troubles. And she climbs, and she climbs, and she reaches for mountains of glory. She is glory. She is beauty. She is powerful, wonderful, swinging for the fences because she’s not going down without a fight. Step back stranger and watch out, she shines bright.”

When he finished the verse, Keyleth was staring at him in awe. Vax instantly felt subconscious. He wasn’t used to being so free with his voice, especially without his trusted guitar, but he really liked where Bright was going. It had a similar message to Phoenix, but it came from the heart and that made it true. He had written that part, obviously about Vex, while she had written the next lyrics about a boy who wore the shadows as a cloak until he finally chose the spotlight. 

“Vax, that was beautiful! I cannot wait for it to be done, and I absolutely must be the first person you send it to, okay? And that’s definitely not a request, it’s a demand. Everything you and Vex write is so powerful and deep. It’s beautiful.”

He gave her a small half-smile. “Thanks Keyleth, you’ll be the first on my list to know.”

She knocked their shoulders together and smiled brilliantly. “Good. Now let’s get to this game I made because you’re either going to love it or hate it and I can’t wait to see which one.”

-

A week later, and it was finally time for Keyleth’s video to release. Vax was hanging out at her apartment again as Keyleth finished lining it up in her queue. She clicked one more thing on her computer and looked up at him. 

“It’s ready!” 

Vax sat up from where he was sprawled on his couch. “Twitter time?” She nodded, snatching her phone and typing away. After a moment, Vax’s phone buzzed with the notification. He opened it so that he could retweet it and craft his own message.

Kiki @keylethashari • Just Now

It’s Variety Thursday again and I finally decided to talk music again and this time I brought on my friend @vaxmachina! Check it out and give Vox Machina’s channel a sub when you’re done! youtube.com/watch?v=huYiNbw 

He retweeted Keyleth’s message and wrote up his own tweet.

Vax @vaxmachina • Just Now

Made a video with @keylethashari the other day. There’s singing, some laughter, and some other good stuff. Check it out -> youtube.com/watch?v=huYiNbw 

Keyleth laughed and looked at him. “Eloquent, aren’t you?”

“Vex is the social media wizard, not me. Besides, it gets the meaning across, doesn’t it?” “Hm, I guess it does.” Keyleth paused heavily and held eye contact with him.

After several seconds of fighting off a smile, he cracked and they both burst into laughter. 

-

Vax got home much later that night than he’d intended. He had ended up helping Keyleth cook dinner as they goofed off and had a good time. He figured that Vex was either asleep or out with Percy so she wouldn’t mind him being out so he even let Keyleth talk him into watching the Little Mermaid with her before he finally headed home. 

He unlocked the door quietly and stepped into the apartment. “Vex’ahlia?” he called cautiously. 

There was no immediate response so he assumed that she was out somewhere. His assumption was almost immediately proven wrong as he stepped into the living room and saw her. She was sitting on the floor in front of the couch with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in her lap as she stared blankly at the wall. 

Vax cursed under his breath and hurried to her side, kneeling next to her. He grabbed the bottle from her and planted a hand on her shoulder. “Vex’ahlia, what are you doing?”

She snapped her head to him and tried to snag the bottle back, but he lifted it out of her reach. “Give it back, Vax,” she said sharply. 

He sank to the ground next to her. “Vex, talk to me, please,” he begged. “Something is going on, I know, but I can’t help unless you talk to me.”

“I don’t need your help. Just give me the damn bottle.”

“No. And I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, so you can tell me or we’ll just sit here until we’re old and ugly.”

Vex was silent next to him. Vax didn’t say anything as he waited for her to speak. Something was definitely wrong and he needed her to open up to him so that he could help her. When she still said nothing, he exhaled slowly.

“Vex’ahlia, you’re my twin sister. I love you and I want to be there for you. When you’re hurting, I’m hurting too, so please, just talk to me.”

She exhaled shakily and looked at him. Her eyes were wet and full of shame. “Everything is going great, I’m just being stupid.”

He guided her face up so that she would look him in the eye. “Nothing you ever do is stupid, okay? Just talk to me.”

“It started on Instagram. We were just gaining momentum after Keyleth’s first video and I was feeling better than I had in a long time. This random account followed me and kept leaving these horrible comments and direct messaging me all of these hurtful things. It started out as just general insults, but they started hitting closer and closer to home until I realized the truth,” she broke off, her shoulders trembling. 

Vax hugged her tightly and she took a deep, calming breath. “The things that this account was saying were things they never should have known. Personal, dark things that I left behind in London.”

Vax knew what she was going to say next before she said it. “Saundor,” he breathed. “He’s been harassing you this whole time?”

She nodded mutely. “And I just couldn’t block him, couldn’t get him to stop, because every time I tried I would be back to that scared, horrible girl in London who couldn’t get out of a bad place until my entire world was turned upside down.”

“Vex’ahlia, look at me.” She did. “He is scum. Nothing he says carries value because you are radiant and beautiful and stronger than everything he could ever throw at you. He is the biggest blemish you’ll ever have on your life and it’s okay for that to still hurt. Your vulnerability is your strength because it makes you passionate and strong in the face of everything you’ve survived. We left him behind in London, and let me reaffirm for you, he is going to stay there.” She was trembling next to him, so he pulled her into a tight embrace, resting his head atop hers. “I love you so much, Stubby, and nothing he says will ever be true or make me think any less of you. I’m going to block him for you and if you want, I think we should go to the police to make sure he can’t get in contact with you again. But, if you aren’t ready, that can wait, and we can just focus on getting you sober and back to the radiant, wonderful woman that I know. The one we all know.” He kissed her hair. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she replied weakly. “I love you, Vax,” she murmured softly.

“I love you too, Vex, so, so much. Don’t ever forget that.”

He pushed the whiskey bottle to the side and ignored his phone as it vibrated with new messages on Twitter from his and Keyleth’s video. He hugged his sister tighter and murmured words of comfort until she felt safe enough to drift off. He would be there for her to make her feel safe and loved until she could step out of the dark, horrible shadow that Saundor had left on her life.