#like. things may be very different in specifics

[normal-paldean-student]

Muse Mixup Madness—May 1, 2024

hello, one and all, and welcome to our very delayed prompts post! this should be the last time prompts are this late, since i've added reminders in my calendar now.

like i said before, this month there's going to be reruns. specifically, i'm going to be taking the most popular prompts from february and march to offer up again. so without further ado! all prompts are low fantasy.

1. What Once Went Wrong

This and What Once Went Right were originally one prompt, but given how different they are in practice I've decided to divide them into two. For this one, you'll be envisioning what your character's life would be like if an unfortunate event in their past either didn't happen or turned out in their favor.

2. What Once Went Right

Both sides of the coin are here today, but in the future you'll usually only be seeing one of this prompt and What Once Went Wrong. This one's the exact opposite of its twin: take a time in your character's life that worked out well or where they succeeded at something, and find out what would have happened if things hadn't ended so nicely.

3. The Road Not Taken

Decisions, decisions! Everyone's made them, and everyone's path in life has been forever altered by them. Pinpoint a critical choice your character once made, and see who they'd have become if they'd chosen a different option.

4. Home On The Range

We do have one new prompt, though it's a very different style from the other three! In the Pokémon Ranger games, people and Pokémon have a somewhat different relationship. What would your character be like if they were from one of those regions?

[cosmicjoke]

Do you think that Levi has abandonment issues/fears and worries about being a burden to others? I don't know if these count as social anxiety, but there are a few scenes in the anime that I think of as social anxiety.

One of them is in the 3Season when Eren says "little old man" while swinging a fist at Historia's mutated father. I heard Yams say about that scene that Levi thought "I wonder if this is how they see me". I think he was offended.

And what makes me think that he has abandonment or being left behind issues is that both years later when he asks Kenny why he left him, and in the manga when Levi is injured and clinging to the sides and trying to walk and Armin tells him that he shouldn't get up because he's injured, Levi says "if I lie on that thing any longer, you guys will completely forget that I exist". I think this dialog was changed in the anime.

And later on, when the others are fighting, Levi looks at his injured knee and talks about being a burden to them.

I'm sure there are a few more scenes like that but I don't remember them now. But when we add them up, I think it's probably Levi's worry that he's a burden to others in any way, that people might abandon him because he's not good enough. I think it's because of the childhood trauma of Kenny abandoning him as a child. Child Levi was there thinking that Kenny had left him because he wasn't good enough.

I also me too think that Levi doesn't care whether other people like him or not, but on the other hand, I think that he believes that he is worthy of their love by trying to prove that he is a successful person, a useful person in the eyes of the people he cares about. But first of all this is my opinion. Canonically this may not be the case in reality. But I think he cares a little bit about what people think about him. I can say this both for Eren's example and for his height. I think he might be a little insecure about his looks.

I do think Levi has abandonment issues, yes. That's a little different than what I was talking specifically about, which is whether Levi is concerned with coming across as "likable" to others, and adjusting his behavior to make himself seem more likable in social settings. I don't think Levi cares much about that, just like I don't think he cares if he gets any sort of praise or recognition for his heroic acts. He's a hero precisely because he doesn't engage in acts of heroism for himself, but entirely for others.

But I do think Kenny’s abandonment of Levi certainly had an impact on Levi’s sense of self-worth, in the sense that, he taught him that strength was the most important thing, the only thing that mattered, even.  But then he abandoned him, and in doing so, sent Levi the message that there was something inherently lacking in him that caused that abandonment. 

Levi was strong, he’d fulfilled the requirements for Kenny’s approval, but still he was denied it. 

So it had to be something else, something else wrong with Levi that made Kenny leave.  His mere existence wasn’t enough to make him worthy in Kenny’s eyes.  I think that plays into Levi’s belief that if he has nothing to give, then his own life isn’t worth anything, which is what I think the scene between him and Armin on the ship implies. Levi sees himself as a weapon to be wielded. That's where his sense of self-worth lies, and if he isn't able to be used as a weapon, or a tool, if others aren't able to utilize him to their own benefit, then I think Levi feels his own life holds very little value.

Again, because he fulfilled all of Kenny’s requirements, he lived up to Kenny’s standards of being strong, and it still wasn’t enough.  There was something more he needed to be or do in order for his own life to have worth.  Simply being who he was wasn’t enough.  I think when he discovered that he could use his strength to help people, he also began to believe that his ability to give that strength defined his self-worth.  He felt he himself wasn’t enough for other people to value or love, not on his own. It didn’t matter what defined his core personality, it didn’t matter what sort of person he was.  But if he could give people something, if he could offer them something, then maybe that was where his value lay. 

So Levi's sense of self-worth is wrapped up in his ability to help others.

But I think it's also important to understand that a desire to find a purpose for himself, or a sense of worth in himself, isn’t what drives him to help people, isn't what created that desire in Levi. 

What drives him to help people, to be a “hero”, is an innate generosity in him, the sense that, because he has something that no one else does, his exceptional strength, it should be given freely to them.  Isayama spoke about this, and I don't have the direct quote on hand, but he said something along the lines of how, if Levi didn't have his great strength, that would make him just an ordinary man, and he wouldn't be responsible for others. But he does have his great strength, and Levi has the sort of innately compassionate and generous personality that won't allow for him to feel okay with the idea of having something others don't and not sharing it. That has nothing to do with his strength, or even with his belief that in order to be loved, he needs to be useful. It has to do with who Levi is, what type of person he is. That’s what makes him a “slave” to his strength, or a slave to being a hero.  His genuine belief that the possession of that strength makes him responsible for others.  The genuine belief that, if you have something to give, you should give it.

It would be the same as someone who has food, and when they see someone who doesn’t, they feel obligated to give their food to that person, even if it means starving themselves.  Levi feels obligated to share what he has.  He’s a slave to that obligation.  He gives, even when giving what he has is detrimental to himself. 

When I say Levi is a slave to that, that’s what I mean.  He can’t escape his natural compassion. Similarly, I think, to the way Eren, on an opposing end, couldn't escape his natural dissatisfaction with the world and thirst for upheaval and violence.

It’s why Levi’s attempts to keep his distance from others, to avoid the pain of losing people, never works, because Levi just naturally cares about people, in general, even people he doesn’t know well, or at all.  He’s chained down by that natural compassion.  He’s a “slave” to it, in the sense that he can’t break free from it.  He can’t escape it.  No matter how hard he tries, it always drags him back in, and he can’t ever ignore someone in need.  He can’t turn away from that.  That’s being a slave to heroism. That's what Kenny means when he asks Levi, "What are you, a hero?". 

That's why I constantly talk about how selfless Levi is, and the tragedy inherent to that selflessness. He doesn't help people because he wants to feel better about himself, or because he wants recognition, seeking attention as a means to boost his ego or social standing, or even because he wants to be loved. He helps people because of a genuine and pure desire for them to be okay, and feeling with his strength that he has the means to help, he in turn feels he owes it to them to help.  Again, that feeling exists in him because he’s an inherently empathetic person. He has a great ability to connect with other people’s feelings, on a fundamental level.  So it's important to understand that it isn't Levi's strength that makes him compassionate, or his strength which makes him a hero. It's his heart. Whether he was strong or not, he would still care about people, he would still wish to help people. Kenny believed one could only be compassionate if they were strong, but it's not the ability to help that makes one compassionate, it's the desire. And with Levi, we see that demonstrated at the very end, as he, wheelchair-bond, is still doing his best to better people's lives, and it's got nothing to do with his strength.

Where his sense of self-worth ties into that, and how that self-worth impacted by this feeling of obligation, is that, in his view, his only worth is in his ability to give, in him having something to give, and if he doesn’t, then his life is worthless.  That’s also what makes him a tragic figure.  He doesn’t realize that his innate empathy and compassion alone make him a worthwhile person.  That it makes him an exceptionally good person, even, and certainly one deserving of love.  He believes that the mere desire on his part to help isn’t enough to mark him out as a person of worth.  He believes that the only thing that would mark him out as such would be him actually being able to help.  This is also part of why it weighs so heavily on Levi when he fails to save lives or protect others.  Because he views that as a failing on his part to give what he has.  It comes into direct conflict with his innate generosity, his natural inclination to give.  It registers to him as fundamentally wrong, having this strength, and not being able to use it to the benefit of others.  It’s why Levi struggled for so long to understand what his strength was even for, because it never seemed right to him that it would only be for himself.

A good comparison to make, in terms of contrast, is between Levi and Reiner, for example. Reiner wanted to be "recognized" as a hero, and he committed horrific acts toward that end, in the hopes of being made an honorary Marleyan, to be hailed as a hero back home. But Levi doesn't want to be "recognized" as a hero, and he never did. He just feels compelled to heroism because he has something other people don't.  Like he’s the custodian of that strength, the keeper of it, but that strength is meant for others, not himself.  This flies directly in the face of what Kenny taught Levi.  Kenny taught Levi that his strength should only be used for his own survival.  That his strength belonged to him and should only benefit him.  That’s why I always say Kenny can’t be credited with Levi’s compassion and kindness.  Levi came to the conclusion that his strength could be used to help others all on his own.  Nobody taught him that.  And his innate compassion and generosity renders him incapable of justifying to himself sitting idly by while others are in need.  That’s why we see Levi so anxious and restless, for example, during the plan to capture Annie in Trost, or again, when he was bedridden before the final battle, but refused to stay there.  That’s where his issues of self-worth tie into his ability to help. He feels it's his duty and responsibility to help, regardless of the consequences to himself, regardless of his actual ability to do so.  We see this most clearly demonstrated during the “Battle of Heaven and Earth”, of course, and why he calls himself a "burden" when he's taken out of the fight with his ruined knee.  Levi is literally half-dead, and he still fights with everything he has, doing himself further, untold harm in the process, eventually sacrificing his body completely, which is how he ends up in a wheelchair at the end.  That’s true selflessness. 

I talk about this in regards to Furlan and Isabel, too. Levi would have had an easier time surviving Underground on his own. Helping Furlan and Isabel would have just meant an added burden to his already struggling existence, two extra mouths to feed, two other people to look out for.  Levi didn't need them. But he helped them anyway, because he's a selfless person. And again, this isn't something he was taught. He was taught the opposite. That's why I talk so much about Levi's nature, and how his goodness is inherent to his nature.

I said this before, but people always say Levi is a slave to his strength, or a slave to being a hero, because he feels he has to use his strength to help people.  But he only feels like he has to use it to help people in the first place because of his natural empathy and compassion.  So really, it would be more accurate to say Levi is a slave to his empathy and compassion. 

I think Levi does carry some insecurities too, about his height, and, as I said, about his social awkwardness. Kenny called him a "midget" and made some other, derogatory remarks about his height, so we can extrapolate from that that Kenny likely made a habit of verbally abusing Levi in that regard, and Levi probably developed insecurities about his height as a result. And yes, I think the scene where Eren calls Rod Reiss a "little old man", and Levi's feelings regarding that, is indicative of an insecurity on his part. So Levi definitely isn't immune to feeling insecure or self-conscious about certain perceived faults of his, or perceived unattractive qualities. I just don't think we ever see those specific insecurities ever have an actual impact on his actions or behavior in general. He doesn't try to please people, or to gain their approval by acting in ways he thinks will ingratiate him. His low sense of self-worth, though, or his belief that he isn't of value if he isn't able to use his strength to help others, is definitely something we see affect him all the time. I think Levi feels, if he isn't useful in some way, if he isn't able to give something to others, than his life is forfeit and he may as well not even exist.

[writingquestionsanswered]

I find doing research pretty exhausting; so much reading, so much fact checking. Unfortunately, a good amount of my stories require research. How do I amend this?

Taking the "Overwhelm" Out of Research

When I wrote my third novel, I went into this exhaustive research mode. I bought books about my setting's inspiration locations, I sent away for travel guides and brochures from those locations (this was back before the internet is what it is now), I spent hours researching how to do things my character did for two sentences in the story. I even had an extensive list of trees and plants that grew around my protagonist's home, and the various uses of these plants.

At the end of the day, very little of that hard work actually went into my story. I didn't need to know everything there was to know about my inspiration locations in order to base my setting off of them. I didn't need to know all seventeen steps of a thing my character did two steps of in the story. I didn't need to know the medicinal uses of forty-two different plants and trees when my character only needed to use one...

My point is, if the research you're doing for your stories is exhausting you, you are almost certainly doing way, way more research than you need to. This is why I'm actually a huge proponent of doing only superficial research ahead of the first draft, then doing deeper research once the first draft is done. At the very, very least, waiting to do research until you have outlined each scene and know specifically what elements will actually make it into the story. That way you can focus your research on things that actually matter rather than pouring hours and hours of research into things that won't ultimately matter.

And with the exception of things that are plot-critical, you can generally save your fact-checking until after the first draft is written, or even until later revisions, because by the time you get there that fact may not even be in your story anymore.

If you still find yourself with an overwhelming amount of research, try breaking your research up into smaller, more relevant subjects. Like, instead of researching Victorian era botany because your character spends time in a plant-filled conservatory, try researching "Victorian era conservatories" to get a rundown of what they looked like, what plants were typically grown in them, etc. Or, instead of researching Victorian era medicine, research "Victorian era treatments for viral infections." This way you're boiling your research down to the thing that's relevant to your story rather than trying to learn everything about the broader subject.

I hope that helps!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[crush-like-that]

You asked for Solangelo asks, so…. HEADCANONS GO!! Everything from little outings there went on, Nico meeting Naomi (assuming you HC her as alive), small things they do to annoy each other, angst, etc. literally anything!! Go wild!!

i am shaking like a feral animal with too much energy and no outlet omG Will hurt his wrist once when he was younger, practicing archery with Lee. It was a delicate thing, the way Lee wrapped him up with an ace bandage and smiled at him. "You did good! It's okay." A golden smile that managed to stop Will's tears. He's older now. He can't remember the last time he hurt his wrist. He wears an ace bandage every day of his life. His siblings, the younger ones that weren't there to remember, question him. Will smiles and ruffles their hair "It's okay! Everythin's good, don't worry bout it." Some part of him wonders what Lee would think.

Will is actually good at many things. Healing and medicine is his main focus, but that's because it's the only thing he thinks he's good at. Many demigods, many of Will's siblings, have one specific thing that they excel at. Which is why Will feels so horrible that he's not good at anything. He is though, he's just too thickheaded to realize that. He sings well, maybe not as good as his siblings or his mom or whoever else, but he's got a good campfire/lullaby voice. Soothing and warm, crackles like a fire or a candle light. Calming, always skewed by a smile. If he could only hear himself... Will gets tattoos for every patient he doesn't save. At first, the idea had come up to him because he couldn't stop thinking about it. The feeling of blood wouldn't wash off his hands, every time he closed his eyes he could see that strain in their face... He needed to do something about it. Then it became something to help him remember. New campers come every year, and they don't know the stories of those that passed before them. It feels unfair, to let those people's memories fade. So for each patient he can't save, Will gets a singular black line tattooed on his forearm. Will is very good at volleyball. I have nothing else to say about that. (well, maybe I do. I like to think that Nico sits off by the sides of the court, a step in "water boy" for Will's team. He gets so distracted, though, he may as well not even have the title. Kayla and Austin tease Will about his "cheerleader") Will uses petnames and nicknames like it's the only thing he knows. Kiddo, sweetheart, hun. Tacked on to the end of every sentence. It's not anything big when he starts coming up with nicknames for Nico, that's just how Will is. Nico, however, doesn't understand nicknames. He doesn't know how they're supposed to be used, when it's appropriate and when it's not, how close you have to be to a person to use a nickname. It's a big deal, the first day Nico calls Will "sunshine." Not a teasing statement, like it normally is, but tied on to the end of a sentence. Nico stutters over the word, his cheeks flushed red. Will stops what he's doing to stare at Nico, slack-jawed.

Nico doesn't like to sing. He doesn't like to talk, really. His voice is raspy, he can imagine it grating on the ears of those he speaks to. It makes him nervous. Will loves Nico's voice. Nico doesn't ramble much but, oh, when he does... Sometimes Will asks Nico specific questions that he knows to get a rise out of the boy, just to hear him talk

Nico was very nervous to meet Naomi. Will loved his mom (mama, he calls her) very very much, that was obvious to everyone. With more time to relax, Nico tries to dig up memories from his past. He doesn't remember everything, but he does remember how much he loved his mother. How beautiful she was, in her fine dresses, perched on a chair watching her children. She was a proper woman, manners were a necessity, etiquette was too. In some was, Sally Jackson reminded Nico of his own mother. A knowing smile, the tilt of her head when she spoke to you. But other than that, she was so different. Nico doesn't know how to act around Naomi. He had already asked Will on a date, had already come out to the whole camp, before Will suggests going to Texas for a few days. It brings Nico a bit of peace, knowing that he'll have the chance to ask Naomi for her permission to date her son. But it terrified him regardless. The conflicting emotions gave him a headache. Will thought it was sweet that he cared so much.

Contrary to popular belief, Nico does not cuss. He has a very vivid memory of his youth, messing with Bianca and saying very specific words just to annoy her. His mother had heard and made him wash his mouth out with soap. Percy cusses, casually enough, but never in front of an authoritative figure. Nico frowns at him when he does, and Percy laughs. Jason doesn't cuss, but he uses just about every filler word known to man. Reyna doesn't cuss, but she doesn't have to. The change in her tone, her composure, is scary enough on it's own. Hazel doesn't cuss. At least, not until she's angry. She has the foulest mouth Nico has ever heard. Will cusses like it's no bodies business. Strings of foul words in a southern drawl yelled as someone walks into the infirmary on Will's day off. Nico gasps the first time he hears Will speak like this.

ugh and there's more in my brain but i feel like i've already said too much so here you go!

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Sorry this ask turned into an essay — as I explain I have a personal connection to this topic and a lot of thoughts on it, ha

On the topic of Taylor’s discussion of Joe’s depression — I have never seen anyone claim that she has made fun of it, but I have seen some discussions from people who feel that she’s been unfair or insensitive with how she’s spoken about it, or that she broke up with him because he was “too depressed” and that she was blaming him for things he can’t control. Renegade has been used as an example of this, and more recently So Long London (specifically “you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days).

I don’t want to speak for anyone but myself here or invalidate anyone’s feelings of hurt with how Taylor addresses these topics (because that is entirely fair to be hurt by if you interpret it in that way), but I will say this: as someone who has been on both sides of this equation (I have clinical depression that I’m in the process of getting medication for, and I’ve also had multiple relationships with people who were going through severe mental health struggles that I was trying to support them through), I don’t think that the way Taylor has referenced Joe’s depression affecting her in her music seems cruel to him. I’ve never gotten the impression that she is blaming him for struggling or that she expected him to just stop struggling and get better, or even that that’s the reason their relationship ended. I think there’s a lot of frustration in those songs, and while I understand why some may balk at that, it can be really frustrating at times to love someone who doesn’t love themselves, or who is pushing you away at every turn. It’s not their fault, and I don’t think Taylor is framing it as such, but that can make it even more frustrating when it feels like things are breaking down and there is nothing you can do to fix it.

And I feel like it’s kind of taboo to talk about those feelings because (in my experience at least) they’re wrapped up in so much guilt? I was in a relationship very similar to the one described in Renegade once, and I would get into this cycle where my partner would be struggling, I would try to help them, they would push me away and/or say things that would really hurt me, I would feel upset and hurt, but then feel so guilty for being upset and hurt because I knew they didn’t mean it the way it felt and that this wasn’t about me, so I would just keep those feelings to myself and say nothing, and it would start all over again. These aren’t pretty emotions at all, and I fully understand why some people are hurt by the way Taylor talks about them, but I think there’s a big difference between “I’m frustrated because my partner is struggling and I feel like I’m giving them everything I have but nothing ever changes and it’s hurting me” and “my partner is too depressed to deal with, why won’t they just get over it?”

I’ve had loved ones tell me tell me to just stop being depressed before — I know that hurt very well, and at least to me, this feels different. Honestly I really appreciate songs like Renegade and So Long London because hearing someone else talk about that experience has made me feel less like I was some uniquely horrible person incapable of being the perfect supporting partner that I should have been. I think it’s just a shitty, frustrating situation where no one is solely to blame, and I think that’s how Taylor presents it.

But again, this is just my opinion — I can totally see how and why people might interpret them differently and feel hurt by them, and I don’t want to speak over those feelings at all

Hi friend! First of all tysm for being so open and honest about your personal struggles with both yourself and past relationships - I'm grateful you feel you can be safe here talking about that. And secondly in your grace and empathy in understanding the many potential sticky layers of feeling here and how this might be ruffly and uncomfortable for people. I love that so much.

My interpretation has always very much been in alignment with yours. And I think if this album was seeking to do any one thing it was to wield honesty like a blunt force instrument - even and especially when the truth is uncomfortable and can be alienating. I've never once interpreted her documentation of a partner's mental health struggles as "get over it" (is there anyone who better understands how fucking hard it is to get over literally anything than Taylor?). But I feel the line that haunts me most is, "I gave you all my best me's / My endless empathy / And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier". And the uncomfortable truth is that it is so incredibly painful to be in love with someone who doesn't love themselves and who has proven (despite years of begging and pleading and patience and kindness) that they are not interested in becoming someone who can love you better. And it's unfair and shitty and horrible to have your "spine split from carrying [both of you] up the hill" for years. You feel sad for them. You feel sad for you. You feel sad that you feel sad. And then you feel mad that they are making you sad. And and and.

[statementlou]

hi it's just me being nosy and asking a follow up to your vinyl anon--what are some of your non-1DCU favorites? collection tour please 😇

hiiii gosh and look you even put the link on for me to make it easy! The question itself is NOT EASY though I was like BUT WHAT IF I FORGET ONE?? Like what CATEGORY of favorite?! But the timing couldn't be better, I am currently as previously mentioned in the process of moving all of my stuff around, a huge project that 1) is perfect for listening to records while I do things like move books from one shelf to another and 2) means I just today moved my record player to a far better place where I am actually using it again for the first time in ages (for one thing onto an actual properly non wobbly surface) so I listened to records today and picked a few that will do sorry to all the others I forgot and love even more I'm sure

I picked first up Daydream Nation by Sonic Youth not just because it's so good (IT IS THOUGH) but also because it's an album that having it on vinyl feels SO right and it makes me happy just to handle; the pretty Gerhard Richter painting cover, a little crackle and pop with the music, the aesthetic of it all! I mean Sonic Youth probably literally birthed the indie hipster luddite aesthetic, it seems Right™ Second is The Bonny by Gerry Cinnamon, because being able to listen to the songs The Bonny and Ghost specifically on vinyl feeds my soul in deep and important ways. Also the 4th side is blank and etched with lyrics, like the JHO single, very cool. And last the record/album I've almost certainly played the most times in my life, even though the copy I have has skips now (to be loved is to changed and all that yk) and I haven't to date been able to bring myself to buy a reissue or pay $$$ for another original: 24 Hour Revenge Therapy by Jawbreaker. It's just important in like 15 different ways okay? Tip, if anyone is like huh! I will go listen to this album I've never heard it (DO!! also then tweet it at Louis a lot, he would REALLY LIKE IT) I think the best way to do this is to skip the first song the first time, it's a whole different vibe than the rest. Also right now my fave is LTLIVE on vinyl 😭 playing records makes me want to put it on SO BAD :((( also bonus content, one of my favorite things about records for some reason is seeing who goes next to who idk I just find it fun and if I were naming a band it would totally be a big consideration... so for extra tour of the shelf, Gerry Cinnamon is between the Germs and The Gits (listen the Cs are crowded, it's my shelf I can do what I want), Sonic Youth was between The Snuts and Social Distortion- which the astute may notice is not correct, she will be going back other side of Social D- and Jawbreaker nestle cozily between Japandroids and Jerk With A Bomb. Louis, for the record, lives between very twee girl band Tiger Trap and very fast hardcore band Tragatello, lol. A weird bill, that, but they do have one thing in common- all feature queer musicians

[nico-di-genova]

Okay, heading to bed soon, but here’s some more ultra specific FGCU frat boy Lance lore that may or may not make it into the fic:

Fgcu has this event called Winter Wonderland they hold during the holidays. There’s a booth where you can stuff your own stuffed animal. Lance chooses a reindeer wearing a sweater and leaves it at Fernando’s place because he goes there after the event. Fernando keeps it, and it kind of just is this little thing he has that makes him think of Lance.

Lance can fuck up a pizookie at BJ’s (yes, an actual restaurant name), he likes the classic one the most. Just look at this thing, delectable.

Frequent visitor of the keys (bar). He sits outside at a patio table. Sometimes his weird ass brings his laptop and just does homework out there while he’s sipping a beer.

Late night target runs in his sweats, slides, and a hoodie where he makes impulse purchases because he’s a little bored. Many a blind bag keychain and collectible has been bought out of boredom and insomnia.

Volunteers at the cat cafe close to campus to get his hours done, sometimes goes to the animal shelter like 30 minutes away if he’s feeling like hanging out with the dogs. He’s usually the go-to for getting cats to come out from hiding, something about him is safe to them, idk.

Wiped out on his bike once going on a chick-fil-a run and his fraternity brothers (Pato especially) have never let him live it down.

Lance sends Fernando a photo every time he comes across a gator (very frequently, the school is literally built on swampland) because he’s still kind of shook there’s just little dinosaurs chilling around the campus.

LOVES going to the beach to watch the sunset, especially this little place just off the main bridge where you can have a perfect view but usually avoid people/tourists. He keeps a blanket in his car for when he drives out to Fort Myers beach to watch it.

Suuuuper active. To the point his friends don’t know whether to be impressed or intimidated. He’s got a private tennis instructor he works with at the North Lake (student housing) courts Wednesday and Saturday mornings. He goes for runs around campus, starting at his off-campus housing. Since his apartment is close to the new student gym he walks there in the mornings and works out until his classes start (intentionally chose later in the day classes). He golfs too, you know, since it’s his major and all. He’s got access to two different courses regularly. His dad is a member of a country club nearby and Fernando’s mansion is built in a community that has an onsite course.

[polyamorousmood]

Genuine question about poly (I've been thinking about whether it's something I'd want to try, with me being ace it's probably my best option for finding a partner-) how do you compromise when it comes to bigger life decisions? Unless you're in a triad or a bigger sort of "closed circle" polycule, and you compromise among each other (which also seems more difficult tbh), to me it seems like poly relationships are like a web that contains many many people because you're dating three people, they're dating a few other people, and so on. So either you have primary relationships where you prioritize each other and don't mind leaving the other ones behind (which seems a bit idk. I would not be the primary relationship because I won't have sex and ace men are very rare from the surveys I've seen. A lifetime of being in the periphery doesn't seem desireable to me.) Or you act as an individual agent and basically have to break up with everyone if you ever want to move which seems horrific and like a massive commitment. I guess you could do long distance but I don't see long distance working if your partner has other partners they can interact with normally..

I mean. There's no one answer here. You're making a lot of assumptions (which may be but are not always true) so let's break this down bit my bit. Buckle up 💺we got stuff to discuss

But if you want a TL;DR: How do you make that decision in a monog relationship if Partner A wants to leave but Partner B has family here? Well, there's a lot of discussion and someone has to compromise on something. How it shakes out will depend on the people and the specific situation.

"the poly web🕸️" While a polycule can spiral into something huge via the "everyone has three partners" principle, its also possible it stays pretty small. Not everyone in a polycule will want to date someone else, not everyone who wants to date someone else will be able to find someone else to date, etc etc. Small polycules are common in practice.

"aces ♠️won't be the 'primary partner'" I respect you hedging your expectations and understand the reasoning there, but the poly community is pretty open to weird relationship dynamics. You could be the "primary" and your partner could have a couple other relationships to get sexual needs met. You could join an ace polycule. Your partner could have you and one other person and see you both as equal.

"Moving💼 means taking or leaving everyone -- or prioritizing" I... I guess it could? But if you know you're wanting to move far away, you're probably discussing that quite a while in advance, and then only dating people who are okay with things being short term or moving with you. Or a lot of poly relationships are already long distance, so one person moving makes very little difference! There's a lot of options there, which leads to point 4

"Long distance✈️ can't work if your partner has local partners" LDRs in poly relationships are common. I honestly see it as easier because you can have your physical needs met by someone else

"A lifetime of being in the periphery🥈" you're never locked down. If you're not getting what you need from ANY relationship, I hope you're negotiating about it or leaving. If being poly only works for you if you're the primary, but your partner can fuck whoever, you wouldn't be the first. Even if you don't want to impose those rules, there are options, and your partner should be working to make you happy. It can be a hell of a learning curve sometimes, I admit, but you can find a weird way of being that works for everyone. Or you can leave! Or they could leave you for unrelated reasons! Or maybe they go to prison for embezzlement and that sort of ends the relationship for you! All sorts of shit could come up.

"this is a poly problem" Bestie. Do you know how many movies have been made on the premise of "my spouse got a job offer far away but I don't want to move"? This is something that could happen in any relationship. I'm not saying having other people involved wouldn't be a variable in the equation, but your relationship with your partner is no different from a monogamous one in this aspect. How that decision gets made is the same to me as how it would get made in a monog relationship where one person has family they don't want to leave. Maybe you do split up, maybe you try long distance, maybe partner A decides not to move, maybe partner B decides they're willing to move with them after all (and then subsequent partners make the same choice). And its not perfect in any of these options, in fact it probably really fucking sucks. But life is messy. This shit happens.

And like, you don't have to try polyamory. There are asexual people out there you could meet and love. There are allosexual people out there who would be willing to give that up to be with you. You could do an open relationship situation where your partner doesn't "date" anyone else, but can still sleep around. Or you can join an asexual polycule!

So how do major life choices get decided in a polycule? The same way major life decisions get made anywhere. Hopefully, everyone says their peace and gets to weigh in. Hopefully the life goals align. Failing that, hopefully there's a compromise that's acceptable to everyone, but maybe there isn't and it forces a break up (or 6). Maybe some break up but not everyone, like so:

Or some of the relationships turn into long distance or whatever. Man there's too many variables. Some people view things as hierarchical and some don't. Some people don't but functionally have only been dating one person for 4 months so they're easier to leave -- or know they cannot live with another person because they're too disorganized so going long distance is fine. You don't know until you're there. I'm losing the thread, but you know what I'm saying.

[empydoc]

SOUL EATER AU porter & treasure

check out the masterpost here!

welcome to a redacted soul eater au post! here, i try and discover what it'd be like if you merged the soul eater world and mechanics within the redactedverse. this is the tenth (wow!) post in the series! we've got porter & treasure on the menu. enjoy!

༺♰༻

porter —  soul type: meister strongest meister ability: soul adjust - an advanced meister technique involved in wavelength control. it allows the meister to adjust another person's wavelength as long as the meister is stronger than their target. compatible with: ?

since porter has a vampire soul, his compatibility with other vampires is heightened, but with non-vampires it's incredibly thinly met. (un)fortunately, porter is a persistant man, and strives to find a weapon partner outside of the vampiric roster. he, also, has a slight competitive streak with seeing who's a better meister between himself and vincent.

even though porter's strongest ability is soul adjust, he doesn't utilise it. it's something that, as he grew older, he wanted to perfect, but he wields it very carefully. he explicitly insists he hasn't used it with any human he's encountered, including treasure, so it's sometimes pondered on if he's lying or if he's simply fragile with such a power.

making porter an advanced meister (given his ability to adjust souls) was a last minute decision. i think it suits him, though, because even though he has this typical playboy personality, he takes things seriously and to heart. i do think he'd spend several years training specific abilities just so he can say he has them to utilise. (also, i like to think it's how he also doesn't use trancing, but can. in his first audio with treasure it's drummed into you that he's looking into their eyes, but isn't doing anything. i like to think he does the same with adjustment. he doesn't adjust treasure's soul, but he certainly could).

༺♰༻

treasure — soul type: demon weapon weapon type: sword types- dominantly a cutlass. compatible with: ?

treasure, as an unempowered, is considered pretty rare given that they're a demon weapon. this happens enough for it to be considered an occurence outside of need for research, but it's definitely a 'gift'. for treasure, their form can change between several different sword types, however they tend to utilise the cutlass form the most.

both surprisingly and not, treasure and porter do not have compatible wavelengths yet. treasure is the closest porter has gotten with someone on such a sentimental level, however, and so there's a steady incline with how close they're getting to being compatible. even so, this doesn't change their relationship, even if treasure has mentioned they wish they could be compatible for him as of now.

making vampires have a difficult compatibility with humans was a choice i liked making, because it makes sense! they have different souls, different way of life, and several humane changes that make it understandable for their wavelengths to rarely match. with porter and treasure i wanted to display that even though they aren't compatible yet on weaponry terms, they're still emotionally tact, and are nearing that point.

lite backstory: for every post i make for the characters, i'll add some au backstory to really fill in some details you may be curious about! (contextually: when someone's soul isn't met with their partner, the meister's hands will burn when attempting to hold the weapon. this is the wavelength's way of telling them that they aren't compatible)

"Don't say such things," Porter drapes a shaky hand over Treasure's head, petting them subtly before it drags down to their cheek, "This sort of thing doesn't dictate your worth at all."

"Your hands burnt," they whisper back slightly, and Porter's careless smile wavers a little, "I hurt you."

"It's nothing I can't handle." He insists, shaking his head. They look at him, and he presses a gentle kiss to their forehead. "Our relationship- it isn't anything more or less without the complications of a weapon partnership, treasure. We won't be anything less. You don't mean any less to me."

They meet his eyes, and he smiles again. He gives them a confident look, his fingers intertwining with theirs.

"When the time comes, it comes. For now, why don't we head back? Maybe a shower, hm?"

With a short laugh, they nod, pressing their lips against his. When the time comes, it'll come.

[anghraine]

Maybe it's just because I'm sleepy and my brain is tired and irritable, but I do wish fandom in general weren't so absolutely intent on casting all familial or quasi-familial relationships into some near approximation of US nuclear family idealization.

Acting as a caretaker for a child doesn't automatically make someone their "real parent" or "adopted parent" or "any parent at all" if the child doesn't see them that way. These caretaking relationships can be messy, begrudging, or essentially coercive (in both fiction and IRL, and in life, forcing children into situations where "they'll be taken care of" is often coercive and/or predatory).

And sometimes a caretaker adult, whether a natural parent, adoptive parent, some kind of guardian, or more amorphous caretaker, is ... bad, actually. It's understandable for the children they take care of (whether literal children or now-adult people who experienced it previously) to have had negative experiences they have complicated feelings about, to have complicated feelings about their caretakers that may not distill down to "real parents", to be capable of harsh criticism of their former caretakers, even if they love them.

Sometimes it is the simpler scenario where a child is adopted and it looks very much like a conventional "nuclear" relationship (though even then, the child can have more complex and inconvenient feelings than they're often supposed to have). But—okay, I may be biased from coming from a family that was licensed for foster care, which saw a lot of children essentially forced into foster care with varying complicated feelings about it that didn't always equate to "this person who looks after me is my mother"—even after a long time, sometimes.

And there's frequently a nasty pressure on children placed in "care" to either reach out to their birth or adoptive parents, or to wholly turn their backs on them and accept their current caretakers as the only parents who matter. But usually things are messier than that. You can care about a caretaker, you can respect and love them, and still not feel like you're their child. Or maybe you do! It just depends.

This can happen with siblings as well, especially when there's a big age difference—yeah, one of the siblings may be functionally filling the shoes of their parents as well as they can, but it doesn't necessarily make them actual parents in the eyes of their younger siblings (or themselves). It can, but doesn't have to. Or maybe it's something messier, like when the relationship is almost parental, but not quite, and the exact nature of the dynamic is hard to pin down.

There's also the case where the relationship may have been parental at one point, but one of the parties (usually the caretaker) burned bridges so badly that the child (often an adult at this point) cuts ties and doesn't deny that the caretaker filled a parental role back then, but wholly rejects it as any kind of current reality. This can happen with biological family, but also with looser caretaker relationships as well (esp the cultier ones).

I'm thinking of a lot of fandom examples of these kinds of indeterminate caretaker-child (or former child) relationships, where either we know or have good reason to believe the child doesn't regard a former caretaker as exactly the same as a parent, or we just don't know what the nature of the relationship is, and fandom will be absolutely insistent that the only possible way to read it is parent-child.

And also, sometimes there's nothing wrong with the caretaker relationship, but it's still not parent-child. It simply doesn't map onto this parental mold that fandom tries to box all adult-child caretaking relationships into, because family is more complicated than a single, very simplistic model allows.

[tigerbears]

Ok, going to add to the "Trans Noelle antlers" discourse.

First, disclaimer this is all just for fun and stuff not telling you that Noelle is or is not trans, just had some thoughts after thinking what causes antlers to grow.

Let's go through the debate cycle again.

"Noelle is trans because she has antlers." "Noelle is a reindeer and both male and female reindeer have antlers." "Male and Female reindeer loose their antlers at different times"

I want to add another step to that cycle.

"Would HRT affect when Noelle sheds her antlers?"

From this paper, testosterone lowers when male reindeer are about to lose their antlers, but those that are castrated (and thus dont have any T in their system) actually keep their antlers over the winter in the long run. The study also shows that hormones like estradiol are likely what lets female reindeer keep their antlers into spring.

Now this can mean many things for Noelle. If Noelle is on HRT, she would likely have a similar Antler cycle to IRL female reindeers if she like cycled her hormones or something.

(Basically similar to how some folks try and change their hormone doses to match a menstrual cycle, except for Noelle this would be a yearly cycle and not monthly.)

Or, maybe Noelle doesn't cycle her HRT, and in that case idk what would happen. Maybe she'd lose her antlers later then male reindeer, but earlier then female ones. Maybe if its high enough it would keep her antlers for longer, or prevent them from shedding or something? Idk I just skimmed the article and I feel like I'm already doing to much to research a lesbian deer girl from a video game.

Even if Noelle was on puberty blockers, then she'd at least keep her antlers for the winter, like male reindeer without testosterone.

(Also, if Noelle was a deer and not a reindeer, then hormones/blockers would likely prevent her antlers to grow in the first-place once they've been shed.)

I have only just learned (in April) that this is inaccurate for deer. If Noelle was a deer and started blockers before growing antlers, the above is correct. If she started blockers after developing antlers, she'd still grow antlers, it's just they wouldn't leave the velvet stage and wouldn't naturally shed.

I have no clue what HRT would do though because I don't think scientists have injected male deer with estrogen. (COME ON SCIENTISTS DO IT FOR SCIENCE!)

Now I guess there's one more question, if Noelle is trans, would she be able to access HRT or puberty blockers?

Well, Rudy at least supports her identity, so he likely wouldn't have any problem with Noelle medically transitioning.

If Mayor Holiday was transphobic, and had the authority to keep Noelle from gender affirming care like Hormones or blockers, you would think she'd also put her hoof down on her daughter presenting femme too. (and Rudy might have something to say if his transphobic wife tried to prevent his daughter from transitioning.)

Money likely wouldn't be an issue seeing as Noelle's mom's the mayor, (and has been for awhile) and even then the large ornate gate at their house makes me think that Holiday's are on the richer side.

Only way I could see Noelle being trans and not on Hormones or Blockers is either if she for some reason didn't want them, or if Hometown is located in some transphobic country or municipality that banned trans-kids from accessing gender affirming care, and the latter honestly seems a little too depressingly real for a Toby Fox game.

(Insert something plagiarized from Shadow of Roserade's video on UT/DR's queer joy.)

Now, dispute all this arguing and stuff I think there's one factor we're ignoring here; we're assuming that reindeer monster biology and IRL reindeer biology are analogous.

We don't know how monster reindeer antlers work. Maybe all reindeer monsters have them, but they don't shed them so we cant use antlers to determine if Noelle is trans. Maybe AMAB reindeer monsters grow antlers, their permanent, and Noelle got hers before medically transitioning meaning she'd need like "antler reduction surgery" or something to remove them when she's older.

All the above theorizing means is that if Noelle has a similar antler cycle to IRL female reindeer, it doesn't mean she's cis because HRT can affect that.

There's no way to confirm if Noelle is or is not trans unless like more concrete evidence shows up in later chapters, like estradiol tablets in Noelle's room or something.

The most we've got is unused sprites for Noelle's room in queen's mansion that show pill bottles (Shown earlier in this post). This is still not enough as we don't know what these pill bottles are. They could be anything from anti-depressants to medicine for Rudy! (also the fact the sprites we're never used.)

TL;DR, there's no way to tell if Noelle's trans or cis, and trying to track when her antlers shed is futile as HRT would likely effect that.

I'm still going to pretend she's trans though as I love the headcanon for no particular reason. (spoiler alert, the reason is I'm trans!)

[wildwood-faun]

feeling :( but I know it's because my back is acting up again

[candyunicornsateme]

I feel like art or writing wise for me Kenny is either pretty expressive or not very expressive at all. In heavy moments, he's not very expressive, like if you wanted to picture things the same as in my brain, that's how it'd be. With Kyle it's expressive either way, bright when happy, very visibly upset and pissed when... upset and pissed lol.

[moongothic]

I need to make a confession

I genuinely do not understand Buggy simps

Like I thought y'all were joking with the whole rooting for Buggy-thing but. No. People are actually seriously rooting for him. And I just don't get it.

Like. I can't tell if I'm missing something or if people are somehow completely misinterpreting his actual character. Like clearly it's meant to be one or the other and I can't tell which and I feel like I'm losing my mind because of it

'Cause the thing is that. Like. Until now, Buggy has been a pure gag character. He's no different from characters like Ceasar Clown and Spandam in that sense, he's just nowhere near as vile a human being as those other gag characters so he's marginally more lovable in what a pathetic fuck he is. But in the end, Buggy's just been there to be a punching bag (quite literally), because it's funny as hell to watch him eat shit And the reason it's funny IS because Buggy is a piece of shit. Again, not nearly as bad as Spamdam and co, but he's still a lying, cowardly, spineless douchebag who uses others for his own benefit and is willing to ditch anyone to save his own skin. Like Buggy was going to ditch his entire crew and flee by himself when the Shichibukai System was taken down and the Marines came for his head. He was going to leave his crew to die by themselves, without participating in the fight at all. Buggy was the one telling them to do the hard lifting while he'd escape, while the crew had no idea their beloved Chairman was going to abandon them. Literally the only reason Buggy failed to do that was because he was too slow and Crocodile got there before he managed to skedaddle.

He is essentially Usopp if Usopp wasn't willing to get beaten to death to protect his friends and their honor. Even fucking Luffy thinks Buggy is a pathetic idiot, and Luffy is the biggest indicator in the whole series on how to tell whether or not the readers should like a character or not. Not to mention, all the in-universe Buggy simps have been portrayed as (precious) idiots who can't see through Buggy's bullshit. Like every step of the story Oda has been trying to tell us that Buggy is an absolute loser.

So when people are like "Mihawk and Crocodile are going to see Buggy's ambition and become full Buggy supporters themselves!" I just

Are we reading the same comic???? HELLO????

Like I'll give you this, it would be objectively the funniest fucking outcome imaginable, which would be on-brand for Buggy and his trend of falling upwards.

But between Mihawk respecting people who are willing to abandon their honor to protect someone dear to them, and Crocodile's deep trust issues (possibly rooted in being betrayed in the past), I can not fucking fathom the two ever genuinely siding with Buggy the "I will leave you to die by yourself to save myself" Clown. Not when the two (and most other characters, including fucking Galdino and Daz) have been able to judge Buggy's character accurately (like how Crocodile was like "I thought you'd have ran away by now" when he arrived at Emptee Bluffs, and Buggy was like "yeah no shit")

Not unless Buggy grows enough of a spine that he'd be willing to sacrifice himself for someone (or at least get hurt on someone else's behalf to protect them), more specifically Mihawk and Crocodile. And let's be real, right now, Buggy probably wants nothing more than to run away from the two before they do actually kill him.

I just

Buggy simps. I do not understand you. I don't understand how you've reached your reading of the character.

[lord-squiggletits]

Between TF and my other fandoms like BG3 and TES, I keep finding myself making OCs that have some element of "battle hardened hero who is actually good and righteous, but so traumatized by the toll of war that even after the war ends they feel empty/wrecked and can't enjoy the fruits of victory" and I'm not sure if it's bc I gravitate to a certain type of media where such OCs fit in best, or bc I have a specific character archetype I like and gravitate towards media that contains those things.

[cherryflavoredbutch]

it's so funny to me that hazbin hotel is referred to as an adult cartoon. that show is about as adult as a 13 year old stealing his first cigarette from his dad and then puking when he tries to smoke it.