#liked feng because it's almost fang

[accio-victuuri]

wait.. i’m literally on here or weibo almost 24/7 ( as you can tell lol ) but I feel like i missed something. i’m seeing clowning related to xz’s photos and how it looks like he is a groom and it’s a wedding photoshoot. the place is also famous for wedding shoots ( allegedly, idk. i’m not from there ) so turtles are imagining again. lol. freakin coincidence that wyb’s GRA photoshoot was done at a wedding shop. plus the “wedding outfits” for weibo night. which is all clowning and galaxy braining.🌌

now, we’re joking around, like where’s yibo? he should be taking photos with his partner.

then i see comments that there is this one song WYB recently listened to. meaning, as recent as when XZ flew to singapore which is called 超人不会飞 (superman can’t fly) by Jay Chou. i know WYB and everyone else is a big fan of Jay Chou but the clowning comes from the timing of when he listened to it. let me get to that first.

here is the song if you wanna listen to it. 🎶

turtles are interpreting it as WYB longing to “fly” to where XZ is and be with him but he can’t because of all his work commitments. he wants to take a breather. thinking about what his life is and the constraints, and at times like this, when they spent days in Beijing, but now they have to be apart, it affects him even more.

however when i read the lyrics, it could also be because he can relate to what jay chou is singing about. here’s the english translation i found here. i have bolded the ones i felt like WYB relates too. literally no need for explanation. just read it. It fits with his status in life so much that it’s almost scary.

妈妈说很多事别太计较

ma ma shuo heng duo shi bie tai ji jiao

Mum said one should not be too fussy over most matters

只是使命感找到了我 我睡不着

zhi shi shi ming gan zhao dao le wo wo shui bu zhao

But my sense of mission found me and i can't sleep over it

如果说骂人要有点技巧

ru guo shuo ma ren yao you diao ji qiao

If scolding someone requires some skills

我会加点旋律你会觉得 超屌

wo hui jia diao xuan lu ni hui jue de chao diao

I will add a tune and you will feel it's very cool (diao)

我的枪不会装弹药（弹药）

wo de qiang bu hui zhuang dan yao (dan yao)

My gun is not loaded with ammunition

所以放心不会有人倒（人倒）

suo yi fang xin bu hui you ren dao (ren dao)

So don't worry, nobody will collapse

我拍青蜂侠不需要替身 因为自信是我绘画的颜料

wo pai qing feng xia bu xu yao ti sheng yin wei zi xin shi wo hui hua de yan liao

I don't need a double for The Green Hornet because confidence is the coloring for my painting

我做很多事背后的意义远比你们想象

wo zuo heng duo shi bei hou de yi yi yuan bi ni men xiang xiang

The meaning behind the things I did is far beyond your imagination

拍个电视剧为了友情与十年前的梦想

pai le dian shi ju wei le you qing yu shi nian qian de meng xiang

Filming a tv drama is for friendship and a dream 10 years ago

收视率再高也难抗衡我的伟大理想

shou shi lv zai gao ye nan kang heng wo de wei da li xiang

No matter how high the rating is, it can't match my noble ideal

因为我的人生无需再多一笔那奖项

yin wei wo de ren sheng wo xu zai duo yi bi na jiang xiang

Because my life do not need another award

我不知道何时变成了社会的那榜样

wo bu zhi dao he shi bian cheng le se hui de na bang yang

I don't know when I have become a society's role model

被狗仔拍不能比中指要大器的模样（怎样）

bei gou zai pai bu neng bi zhong zhi yao da qi de mo yang (zen yang)

Can't show the paparazzi the finger and have to put on a magnanimous front

我唱的歌词要有点文化

wo chang de ge ci yao you dian wen hua

The lyrics I sing must have some degree of literacy

因为随时会被当教材

yin wei sui shi hui bei dan jiao cai

Because it might become teaching material anytime

CNN能不能等英文好一点再访

CNN neng bu neng deng ying wen hao yi dian zai fang

Can CNN interview me when my English gets a little better

时代杂志封面能不能重拍

shi dai za zhi feng mian neng bu neng chong pai

Can i reshoot the Time magazine cover

随时随地注意形象

sui shi sui di zhu yi xin xiang

I must take care of my image at all times

要控制饮食不然就跟杜莎夫人蜡像的我不像（本来就不像）

yao kong zhi yin shi bu ran jiu gen du sha fu ren la xiang de wo bu xiang (ben lai jiu bu xiang)

I must control my diet or i won't look like the "me" in Madame Tussauds (it doesn't look like me in the first place)

好莱坞的中国戏院地上有很多手印脚印

hao lai wu de zhong guo xi yuan di shang you heng duo shou yin jiao yin

There are many handprints and footprints at Grauman's Chinese Theatre

何时才能看见我的掌

he shi cai neng kan jian wo de zhang

When will mine be seen there?

如果超人会飞 那就让我在空中停一停歇

ru guo chao ren hui fei na jiu rang wo zai kong zhong ti yi ti xie

If Superman can fly then let me take a breather in the sky

再次俯瞰这个世界 会让我觉得好一些

zai ci fu kan zhe ge shi jie hui ran wo jue de hao yi xie

Overlooking this world again will let me feel better

拯救地球好累 虽然有些疲惫但我还是会

zheng jiu di qiu hao lei sui ran you xie pi bei dan wo hai shi hui

Saving the world is tiring, though I am a little tired, I still will

不要问我哭过了没

bu yao wen wo ku guo le mei

Don't ask me if I have cried

因为超人不能流眼泪

yin wei chao ren bu neng liu yan lei

Because Superman can't cry

唱歌要拿最佳男歌手

chang ge yao na zui jia nan ge shou

(You) must get best male singer award as a singer

拍电影也不能只拿个最佳新人

pai dian yin ye bu neng zhi na ge zui jia xin ren

A newcomer award is not enough if you act

你不参加颁奖典礼就是没礼貌

ni bu can jia ban jiang dian li jiu shi mei li mao

Not attending award ceremonies is considered rude

你去参加就是代表你很在乎

ni qu can jia jiu shi dai biao ni heng zai hu

And if you do, it means you are over-concerned about it

得奖时你感动落泪（落泪）人家就会觉得你夸张做作（做作）

de jia shi ni gan dong luo lei (luo lei) ren jia jiu hui jue de ni kuang zhang zuo zuo

When you won an award and teared, people will think you are fake and exaggerating

你没表情别人就会说太嚣张

ni mei biao qing bie ren jiu hui shuo tai xiao zhang

When you have no expression, others will say you are too arrogant

如果你天生这个表情 那些人甚至会怪你妈妈（妈妈）

ru guo ni tian sheng zhe ge biao qing na xie ren sheng zhi hui guai ni ma ma (ma ma)

And if you are born with that expression, they will even blame your mum

结果最后是别人在得奖 你也要给予充分的掌声与微笑

jie guo zui hou shi bie ren zai de jiang ni ye yao ge yu chong fen de zhang sheng yu wei xiao

In the end someone else gets the award, you also have to give ample applause and smile

开的车不能太好 住的楼不能太高

kai de che bu neng tai hao zhu de lou bu neng tai gao

The car you drive can't be too luxurious nor can you live too high up

我到底是一个创作歌手 还是好人好事代表

wo dao di shi yi ge chuang zuo ge shou hai shi hao ren hao shi dai biao

Am I a singer-songwriter or a representative of good men and good deeds?

专辑一出就必须是冠军

zhuan ji yi chu jiu bi xu shi guan jun

My album must be ranked top once released

拍了电影就必须要大卖

pai le dian yin jiu bi xu yao da mai

My movie must sell well

只能说当超人真的好难

zhi neng shuo dan chao ren zhen de hao nan

I can only say, being a Superman is difficult

如果超人会飞（超人会飞）那就让我在空中停一停歇（停一停歇）

ru guo chao ren hui fei (chao ren hui fei) na jiu rang wo zai kong zhong ti yi ti xie (ti yi ti xie)

If Superman can fly then let me take a breather in the sky

再次俯瞰这个世界 会让我觉得好一些

zai ci fu kan zhe ge shi jie hui ran wo jue de hao yi xie

Overlooking this world again will let me feel better

拯救地球好累（地球好累）虽然有些疲惫但我还是会（我还是会）

zheng jiu di qiu hao lei (di qiu hao lei) sui ran you xie pi bei dan wo hai shi hui (wo hai shi hui)

Saving the world is tiring, though I am a little tired, I still will

不要问我哭过了没

bu yao wen wo ku guo le mei

Don't ask me if I have cried

因为超人不能流眼泪

yin wei chao ren bu neng liu yan lei

Because Superman can't cry

=====

I don’t think there is anything wrong with how cpfs are relating this to cpn cause that’s just how it is. But sometimes, there are other reasons why they do what they do.

SO MY CONFUSION COMES FROM HOW THE HELL DO PEOPLE KNOW WHAT HE RECENTLY LISTENED TO. I can’t seem to dig up how or maybe it’s something we don’t talk about. I have never experienced this kind of tidbit related to them before so I wanna know the source. Or is this like the gaming cpn where certain people know and they will not divulge the boy’s account for privacy? if anyone knows, feel free to comment. If i find out in the future, I will share.

[omgpurplefattie]

WIP Wednesday

I have two WIPs I am writing at the moment, the Mysterious Lotus Casebook Star Trek AU and the last instalment of my modern AU; so have a bit of both:

from Tomb Raiding for Beginners, chapter 5:

Fang Duobing dragged his eyes back up to the Klingon’s face, his almost translucent eyes of a color like warm amber, and his very insolent smirk. “You’re A-Fei,” he said, lamely. “Li Lianhua made oven gloves from parts of your uniform, and your AI runs our ship. He’s a very excellent AI and does a great job. Well done, A-Fei.” Fang Duobing stood, and stretched. Li Lianhua was picking up books from around the room, but only very few of them ended up in his bag. Apparently, his boasts about knowing ancient Nanyin had not been exaggerated. “Why don’t you take those?” Fang Duobing asked when Li Lianhua put several slim green volumes back down. “This was the command center of a science station,” Li Lianhua said. “What books do you think they would have had on hand? Manuals of emergency protocols, references for programming languages or communication codes. Very interesting for researchers, I am sure, but not really useful for me. I am already taking everything on stellar cartography as well as references to non-Nanyin languages.” “Programming languages please,” A-Fei said, holding out his hand. Li Lianhua handed him a hefty stack of dog-eared books which the Klingon took without flinching. “I am going to re-integrate my AI using Nanyin machinery,” he explained to Fang Duobing, “so all references are useful. I don’t want to harm your friend Wuyan. My own copy hasn’t gained sentience.” So that was the copy Li Lianhua had mentioned earlier. “Your copy was in the cat? The cat is an electronic device, not a person?” “Congratulations,” Li Lianhua said, “the contestant gets 99 points. For a hundred points, he might win a sonic toothbrush.” A-Fei threw a small book at him; Fang Duobing followed with half a broken Nanyin pen from a nearby console. “Good to see you have a similar opinion about his sense of humor,” A-Fei nodded. “We’ll be able to get on, aboard your so-called ship.”

from Detoxify, chapter 31:

Lan Hui had a secret passion for old cartoons where animal people did ridiculously dangerous things to each other and still weren’t hurt at the end; but he could see why the grown-ups didn’t think them valuable for building, well, their kids’ values, so green-haired wood sprites it was. He had a little TV on the computer in his own room now, and there he could watch silly old animal cartoons about greedy cats and clever mice with A-Liu as much as they both liked. “If you feel that A-Liu is uneasy about something you are watching, stop the show,” A-Fei had explained, “otherwise, just go ahead and watch fun things instead of educational ones.” A-Fei knew best how to take care of a kid that had been unhappy in their life before, because he had been unhappy in a very similar way when he was a kid, which was a long time ago and in China. “And look what a great guy you have become!” Lan Hui had said, and A-Liu had giggled and hugged A-Fei. A-Fei, whom he ought to call Di-gege because he was a grown-up, but he’d first heard of him as A-Fei, back on Halloween in the coffee shop near where Teddy’s dad lived. A-Fei who didn’t really like kids because when he had been a kid, all the kids around him had been little monsters, and so had he been (he said). But on both points, exceptions were made for Lan Hui, and now also for Feng Yangliu, who was called A-Liu for short.

[colorfuldonutrunaway]

Here's another Character sheet, this time for the alternate universe counterpart of Ray/Rei Watanabe. (the fox) This time, I decided that I'm going to explain why some of the metrics are the way they are.

(also I said fuck it and used a headshot from a previous art rather than make a new one)

*Name: Fang is the personal name given by the scientists who created him. They wanted something tough sounding since he's a creature that's made to be used as a soldier.

*Nicknames: In his human form, he takes on the name 'Ryan Feng'. His designation in the laboratory is Project 22, since he's the 22nd successful animal creation of the genetics lab.

*Species/Race: I forgot to add that Fang is technically Japanese like Ray, because the human contribution to his genetic makeup was from a Japanese woman who offered herself as a test subject. She didn't survive to meet her very strange progeny.

*Age: 21 as of 2024, so he was created in 2003.

*Gender: Male, biologically and identifies as such.

*Alignment: His alignment is a result of being a creature made for war and survival. His morals are entirely based around himself and his own survival. Even the friends he's made along the way are almost only kept around for how useful they can be. Fang is not above stealing, killing, and extorting from the innocent if necessary.

*Class/Job: When he and his partner Bone (coming soon) arrived in the nuclear remains of Pittsburg, now dubbed Anarchy City by the residents, the then current mayor was a gang leader who had very little control over his own city, as it was taken over by rival gangs. He entrusts the strange animal duo who recently arrived in town to assassinate each gang leader and their members to free the city. In return...the mayor retires and hands over the city to people who are more capable than he is.

*Perception and Communication: For a fox hybrid, his senses aren't that great. His selfish nature means that his communication skills are quite stunted, as he has no patience for other opinions and feelings outside of his own.

*Persuasion: He's alright when it comes to making good points in an argument. However, he prefers that people see things his way, always, and isn't above threatening people to do that.

*Mediation: He's a terrible mediator. He'll force to arguing people to sit down and shut up with a gun to their faces rather than hear anyone out.

*Literacy and Creativity: Not as well read as Ray, and more willing to use the fastest solution to a problem rather than a creative one, but it's still there somewhat. He can quote Shakespeare and solve complex problems, but he doesn't apply it much in real life.

*Cooking: No knowledge of it aside from the fact that burning something = safer to eat.

*Tech Savvy: Not as savvy as Ray, but can still fix machines and understand a bit about their inner workings so he can get things running when necessary.

*Combat: Oh goodness, the combat. Fang's literally engineered as a living weapon, and trained extensively in the compound he was created in for all 21 years of his life. Hand to hand combat is an instant GG for anyone against him, and his aim with guns is impeccable. Don't piss him off. Seriously though, don't piss him off. When sufficiently angry, he can go into a Berserker state where despite his small size, he can effectively crush skulls and tear off limbs. Woe to anyone who happens to look at him wrong when he's in this state.

*Survival: Ah, this. Fang was also trained to survive well in the post-apocalyptic Earth he was born into. Aside from wilderness and technology skills that have been drilled into his mind from birth, he's been modified to have a strong gut, tougher skin to resist radiation, and a resistance to his body heat increasing or decreasing.

*Stealth: Small size allows him to sneak around and reduce sound emitted by his footsteps. Fang will resort to using blades over guns if the situation demands it.

*Street Smarts: His extensive training in the compound and his selfish attitude make him extremely ready for the chaotic streets of Anarchy City, and the post apocalyptic United States in general.

*Seduction: Being a genetic hybrid who may or may not be aro-ace, his sexual sense is completely fucked. He doesn't see anything as "sexy", he can't reproduce, and doesn't like being touched.

*Luck: Not sure how to explain this one, he has been known to get lucky in different situations, despite his karma probably being in the toilet for all the bad stuff he may have done.

*Handling Animals: His fox appearance gets him attacked or ignored by most animals, and most animals are significantly more savage after the apocalypse of 1983.

*Pacifying Children: "Holy shit, can you stop FUCKIN CRYING FOR ONE MINUTE!? FUCK!"

*Strength: Very high on account of his Berserker Mode.

Height: '5 "02.

*Dexterity: In retrospect this should be higher since he's good with guns and hand to hand combat, so he's gotta be decent.

*Health: Strong for his species and size, but he's been trained to be an efficient dodger since he can only take so many hits.

*Energy: Very energetic.

*Beauty: Not sure what to say here, he's an anthropomorphic fox, whose sense of fashion is basically a tattered biker jacket.

*Style: That being said, the glasses and jacket combo are kinda fire.

*Hygiene: Because he cares so little about the opinions of others, he only practices this when it's for the sake of his health. Otherwise, he doesn't care how much he smells like wet dog.

*Intelligence: While his brain was modified to retain high amounts of information just like Ray, he tends to rely more on impulsive instincts, so it's going to be a bit lower.

*Happiness: With Fang knowing that his only purpose was to be a weapon, he isn't fully sure about his existence and place in the grand scheme of things. His paranoia about potential enemies around the corner and the constant background anxiety of everyone living in a post-apocalyptic world also really add up over time.

*Spirituality: He was raised without religion.

*Confidence: He KNOWS that he's a good fighter, and enjoys being an unempathetic bastard. This has raised his confidence/ego to surprisingly high levels.

*Humor: Was raised around super serious scientists who were only concerned with his daily stats. That tends to leave one feeling very alien when it comes to comedy. Unless if you count laughing at your enemies struggle. Then he does have a sense of humor.

*Anxiety: Again, in hindsight this should've been higher. It doesn't openly bother him, but he keeps it bottled up inside.

*Patience: NONE. Absolutely nothing. Fang will tell people to shut up and get to the point, he'll ignore sob stories, and as demonstrated earlier, he hates the sound of children.

*Passion: If he wants something badly, he'll get it. Though he can lose interest if it's too difficult in getting.

*Charisma: Fang gets his way through violence, threats, and insults. Nothing charismatic about him.

*Empathy: As a result of his genetic makeup and training, he cares almost non-existent amounts for the welfare of others. Except maybe Bone.

*Generosity: He keeps an iron grip on anything valuable, but to be fair that's most people in the fucked world he lives in.

*Wealth: The very little monetary value that exists in Anarchy City is controlled by the duo.

*Aggression: As mentioned before, his personality gets him far in this dog-eat-dog deathworld, so it's pretty damn high.

*Libido: Once again, being an infertile hybrid and possibly being an aro ace (not saying that aro ace ppl don't have libidos, I'm saying that nothing can actually get him interested), he has no drive.

I'll explain more a bit later, post is getting long and I'm getting paranoid that I'll lose progress, so I'll cut it here. Feel free to ask questions.

[randomshenaniganery]

TGCF Donghua

okay so I've been watching this shit since it was released and I'm fully enjoying waiting for the weekly episodes and I wanna rant about it because I love it so much but I do have some minor gripes

Bad chuchu out of the way first

I am not happy with how generic and unoriginal the designs for most of the supporting characters. Like yeah they still look somewhat different but when the pool of named characters will expand it will get harder and harder to tell people apart if they keep on going with this route. Almost everyone suffers from same face syndrome which I know is rampant in current anime I just wished they allowed for at least more dynamic silhouettes, hairstyles, and color palettes. It feels like a more toned down version of the character design in the manhua. Lang Qianqiu in the manhua is so easy to recognize because of his outfit and pei ming looks more like the bastard he is etc. Don't get me started on the design for Kemo, the manhua felt eh I feel like Kemo was too pretty and too slim but in the donghua its just he's a straight up orc idk, i feel like they could've done better. Pei Su looks very generic, I think out of everyone he's the most generic looking of them all. SQX, Ling Wen and Jun Wu are the best designs for the supporting cast and I think Banyue is also okay looking cause you can tell her apart from the rest so far.

I am super disappointed in Qi Rong's reveal because it doesn't feel as impactful in the book. In the book the reveal of him looking like Xie Lian was so dramatic to me I was like oh my god is that his brother? A twin? a doppelganger? And then Qi Rong just kinda looks like that, tbh his voice actor and his clothes are fine I think they fit. It's just weird how he suffers from same face syndrome. If they made everyone look less like each other making Qi Rong look like Xie Lian would have been so impactful and a really cool cliffhanger but they couldn't do that because even fucking Lang Qianqiu kinda looks like Xie Lian with lighter hair. Also the Fang xin design is alright on the clothes but the mask gives off a bit cheap however I get that it can't be super detailed and it still does its job so I can handwave that small pet peeve.

Also censorship we couldn't get Xie Lian falling on Hua Cheng's lap and so them trying to make up for that was super awkward LMAO, they could have solved this by making SQX fall right on Hua Cheng's chair so that they could justify why Xie Lian grabbed Hua Cheng and throws him but they didn't... and it's so awkward...

I think it was like Episode 2 of s2 that the animation feels weird, Mu Qing's face felt off to me idk what was going on it just felt like something went down but the next episode it was perfectly fine anyway.

Positives!!!

Something the manhua didn't have was Fu Yao and Nan Feng looking a bit like each other, that was so fucking funny and it's a great display of how much they hate each other and live rent free in each other's heads ong. I love that detail the donghua did I think that's smart.

The voice actors are so great in both dubs they're doing amazing (I haven't listened to the jp dub) I have no complaints I love their work

ONE of my favorite things about the donghua is being able to see Hua Cheng's expressions even when Xie Lian is doing something in the book so he wouldn't notice. I love seeing how pleased he is every time someone points out the intimacy with him and Xie Lian. Like in season 1 when Fu Yao is shocked/horrified that Xie Lian shared a bed with Hua Cheng, San Lang puts a hand on his chin and looks so fucking smug and happy. This happens a couple times in s2 as well someone will be like oh that's weird you're so like this with Hua Cheng and he becomes a smug cat it's great.

Another one I enjoy is during the beginning of the banyue arc when Xie Lian reveals to Fu Yao and Nan Feng that he's used to sleeping in squalor the camera goes to Nan Feng not revealing his face but clearly showing his guilt over what Xie Lian reveals. That's good shit.

Lan Chang picking a fight off screen, also cool, love seeing her. I like that she looks inconspicuous so for someone who doesn't know shit about tgcf they will not see *that* shit coming.

ALSO the men look kinda generic if they're not the mls but the girls are all gorgeous???? like the woman who was Hua Cheng's speaker, the girl who led Xie Lian further into the gambling den, XUAN JI, Banyue all the girls are unique without being so ostentatious and I love them. If you put them beside each other they all look like they're own thing but still on theme. From clothes, to hairstyle and colors it's easy to tell and that's good design. I also include SQX's female form cause she's gorgeous too.

The donghua I think adds to stuff I haven't read I'm not sure if this is because I have a bad memory but I don't recall reading a flashback of Lang Qianqiu and the failed robbery. But the message of that entire section was so fucking good. The way that what Lang Qianqiu said about 'maybe he shouldn't have intervened' and the sound effects UGh. It's so good, i love how the book tackles the morality of everything, breaking down Lang Qianqiu's firm positivity and believing in humanity but still promoting being kind and considerate through Xie Lian. This theme still carries on in the show and I think they're doing a great job.

GOD THE MUSIC in the donghua is so fucking good, I love it. The songs, the meanings, the beat it's all perfect I can't say anything more.

even though i'm disappointed in the character design choices the donghua is very solid, I love it a lot. It does come off as very expositiony sometimes but I think that's very prevalent in Chinese Wuxia and Xianxia. Probably weird for people who aren't used to the genre but to anyone who's seen something like it, it's not unbearable and it's kinda necessary because of how the book is written. Waiting for wednesday patiently whilst i draw huahua

There are so many fun details the Donghua adds that shows that they know the story and where it's going as well hinting at character stuff, it's so fun to spot those. Like Xie Lian's reaction to Hua Cheng biting the bun made me wanna claw my face that shit was good af.

[localplaguenurse]

I want you to know that the noggin is fighting between “HUHHHH GOLD AS THE GINKO TREES IS ONE YEAR OLD??????” And “HHEHEHEHEHE VAMPIRE WIFEY >:3”

Anyways with the power of caffeine heres vampire Wifey

Whenever there’s a who are who’s pudding situation one of the kiddos would start measuring everyone’s fangs to decide who did it

“FENG I KNOW ITS YOU, THESE HOLES ARE THE EXACT LENGTH TO YOURS”

“NO IT ISNT I DIDNT EVEN TOUCH YOUR PUDDING IT WAS LITTLE BROTHER (ajax)”

“NO IT WASNT HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE FANGS”

Wifey (whisper): Ajax you ate the pudding and poked holes in it didn’t you

Ajax: mama I neither confirm nor deny

Ivy I need you to know I have my own separate vampire worldbuilding with retractable fangs like snake fangs but it’s not about that rn

Wifey is just standing there while the kids argue about who ate the other person’s pudding like “I’m one to talk but I know FOR A FACT I taught you all how to eat pudding with spoons. Why are you biting and sucking it out through the wrapper?” Like just standing in disappointment at how literally feral their quarter qilin, quarter dragon, half vampire children are.

At the same time I have the mental image of all the kids like sharpening sticks until they’re pointy like their siblings’ teeth and then using them to poke holes in the pudding cups to frame someone else. Yaling started that, but it was quickly found out when they all realized no one was touching her pudding and it was almost always pinned on Yānjiáng, because tallest child vs shortest child beef.

Nobody knows Zhusha is the real pudding thief. They never suspect the middle child.

[renewedmotionforjudgment]

IQIYI Trailers Review, Lightening Round

With the disclaimer that trailers aren’t representative of quality, I’ve been disappointed by trailers and then enjoyed the drama, and vice versa.

The order is just the orders which I watched them, aka the order that IQIYI uploaded onto their YouTube channel.

Also, I noticed there’s a lot of xianxia and wuxia, and my record with that genre has been spotty at best.

*drumroll*

Love of the Divine Tree: very pretty, probably too Xianxia for my liking, but it currently doesn’t look like it’s dubbed over (yay!) and it’s like a 2-way shizunfucker? Anyways, the gifs will sure be pretty.

For Love: I guess this series exists to give ZLH’s hairline a break from the wigs. The brief trailer is pretty, but also very “this could double as an ad for some expensive jeans.” No seriously, I was half expecting the trailer to end with “Ralph Lauren Jeans.” Why does the MDL summary make this drama sound like a porno though (hotel manager meets eastern medicine doctor who cures her insomnia *wink wink*)

Perfect Her: … I almost didn’t click on the trailer bc it looks like another slick modern but it looks bonkers (like 2008 TW Drama bonkers). I really do not like dubbing in modern dramas, but I might just check it out. I feel like it needs more soap opera background music.

A Lonely Hero’s Journey: there are more sausages than a 4th of July hot dog cookout. Unlikely my genre, but the lack of dubbing is nice.

Reborn for Love: I admit, I have been excited for this one most because I like both leads and I’ve liked a good chunk of the director’s work so far (under the power, sword and brocade, and legend of zhuohua). I don’t love Jing Tian’s eyeshadow. But it looks like no dubbing so far? Which is fantastic. I’ll never get why Zhuohua dubbed over Feng Shao Feng.

Fox Spirit Matchmaker, red moon pact: I feel like I’ve seen a variation of this trailer since last year. Everyone looks pretty. I’m not sure about the Yang Mi-Gong Jun pair but we shall see.

Foxy, Love in the pavilion: the trailer certainly didn’t communicate what the plot might be about, but Liu Shi Shi looks great.

Foxy, Sword and Beloved: I think this one captures my attention the most bc it is hinting at an actual plot? But also, I can’t stop thinking about the Cheng Yi kabob and I’m surprised they didn’t cut a segment of Cheng Yi spitting blood.

A Moment But Forever: whyyyy the dubbing? It looks a bit too Xianxia for my taste but I swear the dubbing made it feel so much more generic than it probably is. Liu Xueyi looks great though.

Fangs of Fortune: visually stunning. Not holding my breath for an amazingly cohesive plot bc GJM is gonna GJM. But also, it’s weirdly Witcher-like which I honestly might be into. We’ll see.

Snowy Night, Timeless Love: it might be too wuxia for my liking. But it visually looks stunning. Also could double for a perfume ad.

Northward: listen, if no amount of Wang Kai can make me watch 大江大河, no amount of Bai Lu can make me watch this. It looks like it’s going to be well done, but I can smell the CCP propaganda from this side of the pacific.

Follow Your Heart: this was not on my radar but I’m excited??? The plot is very much the type of historical romance mystery that I read. So it should be fun!

[jzixuans]

Blink I beg of you to please give us more of that beautiful Roceit, Roman is so pretty my little heart can't take it I need to know what happens to these lovestruck fools.

ooh boyzee let’s see i don’t think i planned much beyond that comic but since you asked so nicely

(this is about 2.2k in bullet fic, with warnings for burns, scars, and corrupt rich people in power)

maybe let’s start with how they met because i haven’t detailed out the post-comic events yet

deceit– that’s the name he earned on the streets thanks to his charmingly deceptive personality– is making his rounds again in the bustling marketplace, looking for any unsuspecting nobles that won’t miss a ring or two

he makes eye contact with those he passes, smiling handsomely, and they can’t help but falter when they lock onto those stunning golden eyes

he’s talented like that, knowing just how to capture his victims’ attention and not have it at all

later, they’ll recount eyes like gold and a dazzling smile, and nothing else that could identify the snake in the shadows

he tips his hat and bids them a good day with a polite bow then disappears back into the crowd, his pocket giving off the slightest jingle from the coin pouches he nabbed

he weaves his way through with practiced ease and he spies a handful of guards surrounding someone wearing the rich, bright, telltale garb of the inner circles of the royal court

jackpot

as he nears his mark, he sees that they’re wearing the deep purple of the king’s advisors; one of the two youngest to ever hold such a position, but from the back of their head, he can’t tell which one

but he notices that they’re jittery, nervous even, as they complete their transaction at the table piled high with old books

deceit pretends to occupy himself at the neighbouring stall, a gentle old woman offering tea

the guards watch him, but he catches their eyes, nods, and hands the woman silver pieces from his stolen coin purse and accepts his tea

the guards resume their posts and pay him no mind

when he turns to walk away from the stall, he slides his hand into the pocket of the advisor

this is where he makes his mistake

the advisor, more vigilant than nervous it appears, catches his wrist in a vice grip, glaring down at him. then he throws deceit back into the stall, sending him crashing into the pot of boiling water

he’s only narrowly able to avoid the water reaching his eye

his body feels like fire is eating at it from all ends

as he writhes in pain he sees regret, pity, and concern flash across the advisor’s face

he’s hauled to his feet by two of the guards, the others have their hands at their hips, ready to draw their swords

around them, the busy marketplace has stilled, and they’ve gained an audience

the guard on his right rifles through his pockets and pulls out the rest of his stolen goods

one man pushes his way to the front of the crowd and points at him angrily

“he stole my wedding ring!” he exclaims

“he took my mother’s bracelet!” another cries

and soon several members of the crowd are shouting their accusations at him

the advisor raises a hand to silence them

another guard announces, “for thievery of countless riches, and attempted robbery of councilman virgil wang, you will face trial and the consequent punishment before king thomas”

the next thing he knows, he’s being muscled into a carriage, then paraded through the castle halls

“see to it that he’s treated by a doctor,” councilman virgil tells the one holding him, sending him a look that’s almost… guilty

normally, he’d be alert, mapping out the castle grounds waiting for the opportune moment to make his escape, but right now the only thing on his mind is holding back the tears in front of the guards

the doctor sweeps in with a mug larger than life, filled to the brim with what smells like coffee. deceit flinches

“alright hon, let’s get you patched up,” the doctor sighs. they tilts their tinted glasses down to take in the sorry state of his face

they hold a cool cloth to his burns and it’s like a balm. he can’t help but sigh in relief

“what’s your name, sweetheart?” 

“don’t call me that”

“well if you’d give me your name, i wouldn’t have to”

“what makes you think you’ve earned the right to know my name?” deceit snaps

“is attending to your wounds not enough?” the doctor tsks as they peel the cloth away and reach for a jar of salve. their hands are rough and calloused, but still they treat deceit with a gentle touch that he hasn’t known in quite some time

deceit doesn’t answer them

“i mean i know who you are, you’ve probably robbed about of a third of the castle by now. not surprised that virgil caught you, he was probably born sleeping with one eye open. but still, a name for the legendary thief of crane would be nice,” the doctor prattles on. deceit let’s them chatter on about everything and nothing, sitting still as a rock while the doctor applies the rest of the bandages

“now i know you’re all chained up, but just in case the king let’s your hands go free, don’t go ripping off those bandages or your next visit here you’ll have to pay me by telling me your name,” the doctor warns with a wink. “good luck on your trial sweetheart, and may the fates smile kindly upon your future.”

deceit’s led out of the room by his attending guards then pushed through the doors to the main hall where he lands on his knees at the foot of the throne

the king is flanked by his advisors– deceit recognizes councilman virgil’s stony gaze– and his adoptive son, the crown prince

deceit doesn’t dare lift his head for anything more than the fleeting glance he got at them

“dante evan feng, also known as deceit, the snake in the shadows, thief of crane, you have been arrested stealing from the royal court and nobility on numerous occasions, and for attempted thievery from a member of the high council,” an advisor to the left of the king recites. he’s wearing the same purple robes as virgil– the other youngest advisor– with large round glasses and long black hair held back in a braid. his voice is cold and monotonous as he reads off the rest of deceit’s charges

“how do you plead?” he asks

deceit lifts his head, a defiant “not guilty!” ready on his tongue, but he sees virgil shake his head, and then sees the crown prince, gorgeous and resplendent, brows pinched in concern, shake his head

“you would do well to answer truthfully. in this court, honesty is rewarded, corruption will be condemned.” king thomas says

so deceit lifts his chin a little higher, and says, “guilty, your majesty, but with good reason”

“elaborate”

“i’ve seen the members of your court laugh at the beggars in your streets as they crawl on their knees to pick up every last penny. they turn their backs on those who need them. they don’t deserve their riches,” dante snarls. the prince winces under his glare

sadness paints itself into the king’s expression, but he keeps his voice steady. “and how have you spent your stolen wealth?”

“they went back to those who should have had it in the first place” 

the advisor in the glasses narrows his eyes. “were you one of those such people?”

“i used the gold to buy goods from local businesses to support my lifestyle and theirs. i don’t see how that is such a crime”

the advisor arches a single eyebrow, then turns to his colleague. “councilman wang, you were a target of his today, what are your thoughts on the matter?”

“he didn’t get away with stealing from me, we’ve apprehended him, and he’s already been wounded. i have faith that whatever punishment his majesty decides for him will be just.” virgil says, so low dante almost doesn’t hear it

the king sits up. he’s made his decision

“dante, in place of punishment, i offer you a chance to work for all that you stole. you will work here, at the castle. you will be given food, clothes, and a room to live in. having you here will give me the opportunity to consult your advice on how to go about resolving the corruption in my court. does this sound fair? should you decline my offer, your sentence will be to serve time in prison.” the king says

deceit wants to say no, that he’d rather die than live a life of servitude, but so far, everyone at the castle has shown him mercy, and the chance to rise up to a seat on the king’s council is too tempting to refuse. having the king’s ear will make it far easier to bring about change in the kingdom. 

“i accept your gracious offer, your majesty,” he says begrudgingly, though the words taste like ash in his mouth

so he takes on the new position as one of the castle’s groundskeepers, tending to gardens, making sure that everything else is in its proper place

for the first year, he’s confined to working outside only at night, where the harsh light of the sun can’t deal any further damage to his scars (virgil, though still distrustful of him, seeks him out and apologizes a couple weeks after the trial, he only meant to push him away, not send him flying into a pot of boiling water. he’s stronger than his robes make out, it seems)

he also pays the doctor– remy dormeil, he quickly learns– regular visits for more salve and other treatment for his scars. he finds their presence one of the more tolerable ones amongst the court staff

king thomas upholds his promise and allows him to attend some of the meetings with the high council. he plans on venturing out into the smaller villages himself to survey the state of things

then the king throws a birthday party for the prince at the castle. dante’s told that he may join the festivities once his duties are attended to. so he dons the suit that has been left in his closet and makes his way to the ballroom

in the centre, virgil is being led by his fellow advisor in a vivacious dance that leaves them out of breath and full of laughter as they spin around and around each other in a twin orbit

as dante weaves through the crowd in a manner not unlike they way he used to move on the streets, he’s greeted with side eyes and distasteful remarks— many of tonight’s guests were his marks once upon a time, and no one could forget those stunning golden eyes— but he steels himself as he always has, and makes a beeline for the refreshment table, where he may hide his face behind a drink or two

on his way, he slips the bracelet of one particularly snobby woman from her wrist and into his pocket. as he accepts a goblet from one of the waitstaff, he hears a voice from behind him say, “are you going to give that back?”

when he spins around, he comes face to face with the birthday boy himself, prince roman of crane, smirking in amusement

“i mean, she probably deserved it, but she is my second cousin once removed, and i would hate to hear her complain all night at the next family dinner,” he continues. “besides, i’m sure i could find you something more your style,” he adds with a wink

dante huffs and takes a sip of his drink. “i can’t say i know what you’re talking about your highness, but i must add that i have quite expensive taste, so if you plan on following through on that promise, i hope you’re prepared to empty your coffers,” he shoots back with a grin

roman tips his head back and laughs, rich and bellowing

“give it here before you get in trouble, and i’ll just tell her that she’s dropped it. then i’ll make you a deal: if you can behave for the rest of the night, i’ll reward you with some exquisite jewelry of you own.”

dante sighs and drops the bracelet in roman’s outstretched palm

“i’ll take that deal, but only on the condition that you deliver it to me yourself. i tend the garden beneath your balcony twice a week,” he purrs in his ear, then he walks away, leaving a dumbstruck prince behind him, never mind his own blush creeping up his neck (which he promptly blames on his scars when remy sidles up to him)

twice a week in roman’s garden soon turns to three times, then four, then every night he’s slipping out to the garden to throw discarded weeds through roman’s window to relish in his dismay, to chat with him as he makes his rounds, laugh as they try to push each other into the fountain, and distract him with beautiful blooms and twinkling stars as he occupies himself in trying to steal the crown right off his head

he hasn’t succeeded yet, because every time he’s just about to reach for it, roman turns his head, ready with a witty remark or poetic compliment comparing him to the brilliance of the moon’s glow that stops him dead in his tracks

one day, though. one day

and when he does, it isn’t just be roman’s crown that he steals, but his heart as well

[madsthewordclown]

Fire Lily Pt. 7

warnings: character death, slight angst. I'm bad at warnings

a/n: this takes place during the Lake Laogai episode. I loved writing Iroh in this episode, even though I have exactly no Iroh-esque wisdom. I really do think Iroh always knows more than he lets on, which is probably the only way this chapter makes sense. There were a lot of directions I thought about taking this, but this is what I went with. Hopefully it sorts itself out

PSA: this chapter is longer than the other ones so far, but I’m thinking they’ll start to get longer as things pick up a bit more. Also I’m bad at feelings among other things so I apologize for any inaccuracies. I am too impulsive to do much research here. 

Fire Lily Masterlist

The masked figure didn’t move; just stood there, looking at her. Y/N noticed the outline of a crumpled guard outside the cell door out of the corner of her eye. That wasn’t right—he wasn’t with them? Y/N glanced at the dual swords in the figure’s gloved hands, and an image flashed in her mind.

“Lee?”

“We need to go,” the figure said. The mask on their face didn’t move, but Y/N knew that voice. That voice that was awful at customer service, a bit raspy, but nevertheless had managed to make her laugh so many times, enough to forget the fire in her hands and the emptiness in her heart.

Y/N wanted to ask him to take the mask off, so she could see his face. Yeah, that would be good, she thought to herself. Seeing his face might make the light feeling in her head go away. Maybe it would keep the pounding from coming back.

But the reasonable side of her knew not to ask that of him. It was some deep feeling that she felt she knew; the anonymity, the need to keep hiding even when someone already knows the truth.

“Okay.”

Lee nodded under the mask and moved behind her, bringing down the hilt of one of the swords to break the stone around her hands. Y/N is surprised that she hardly feels the impact due to his preciseness. Y/N stood, brushing stray bits of rock from her raw wrists with a wince. The edge of her vision was a bit blurry, she noticed, but Lee was already taking her arm and leading her out of the cell. She tried not to lean on him too much. If he noticed the extra pressure, he didn’t give any indication.

“Go down this hall and to the left,” Lee explained gruffly, pointing down the mentioned hallway. Y/N was shocked at the vastness of it. She had assumed they were somewhere in the city, but was there room for a place like this?

“Where are we?”

“Lake Laogai,” Lee responded. “Now run.” He tried to push her away, but Y/N kept her grip on his arm, managing to keep herself from falling.

“Where are you going?” His body was angled in the opposite direction of where he was telling her to go. Why wasn’t he coming with?

“I… have to take care of something.”

An unfamiliar voice echoed through the hall. Y/N thought she heard yelling.

“Go!” Lee demanded, finally managing to shove her away. “Get out of here!”

This time, Y/N listened, taking off as quickly as she could in the direction Lee had told her. Left, left, left. Down this hall and to the left.

“Left” turned out to be a much more difficult concept than Y/N had anticipated. There were too many passageways, and she felt more directionally challenged the further she ran. The pounding in her skull was drowning out any comprehension of the word, “left.”

The yelling from before was getting louder, and now there was a pounding sound that Y/N wasn’t entirely sure was in her head. She tried to block it out, looking for any exit, but there were no windows, no exterior doors… Where the hell was she?

Y/N briefly wondered where Lee had disappeared to. And what was the mask? The image of its fanged smile flashed in her mind…

“Do your duty, Jet!” A man’s voice ordered. Y/N nearly fell, catching herself on the wall.

That was Jet’s name. Jet, who was arrested right in front of her, and had taught her how to wield a knife. He was here.

Y/N ran as fast as she could to another doorway where the voice had come from, and didn’t stop to think before bursting in.

The room is full of pipes, Y/N noticed. Huge pipes, some dripping water into the room. Long Feng stood defensively towards the back of the room. There were other people there, too, that Y/N didn’t recognize. A boy and a girl dressed in blue, a small Earth Kingdom girl, and a bald boy in orange and yellow, with blue arrows tattoos on his arms and head. Y/N had a feeling that he was important somehow but was too out of it to think of exactly what. Longshot and Smellerby were there too, Y/N realized. She could see Longshot’s knuckles turn white as he gripped his bow.

“He can’t make you do this!” The bald boy yelled.

And there was Jet, in the middle of it all, the same shaggy hair and dark eyes. Panting, drenched in sweat, face downturned.

“You’re a Freedom Fighter!” The bald boy cried, almost desperately. And Y/N knew that something was very, very wrong.

Jet stood up straight and stiff as a board. Y/N was too far away to read his face, but she could tell that he wasn’t in the room with them anymore. His mind was somewhere far away.

“Do it!” Ordered Long Feng, his shout almost animalistic. “Do it now!”

Y/N watched in horror as Jet lifted a hook sword. She knew Jet’s fighting style; she had sparred with him too many times. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t gripping the sword right, something was wrong—

The tip of the sword pointed towards the bald boy for only a moment, before Jet pivoted and sent it flying toward Long Feng. The sword hit the ground with a clatter, but Y/N barely registered the sound as Long Feng send a chunk of the floor beneath them flying at Jet, creating a cloud of dust. Long Feng was gone, but as the dust cleared, Y/N could see him; Jet, motionless on the ground. He wasn’t getting back up.

“Jet!” Y/N cried. She barely registered the others, who were all rushing to his side, as she sprinted, skidding on the ground to kneel next to him. They all seemed to have just noticed her presence.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jet asked. Jet looked to the bald boy, who was standing next to him. “I’m sorry… Aang.” Y/N felt herself choke as Jet struggled to speak.

“Don’t be,” the boy, Aang, replied sadly. Y/N chokes back a sob. This can’t be happening, she just found him again, and now he was leaving, he was leaving, and Y/N knew it.

The girl in blue, knelt down next to Jet, across from Y/N. Y/N watched in amazement as the girl drew water from a pouch that was slung over her shoulder. The water wrapped itself around her hands and began to glow as the girl placed them on Jet’s chest. Waterbender.

“What are you doing?” Y/N asked, fighting back the tears.

“Healing,” the girl replied, glancing up at her for only a moment. Y/N felt her heart swell. Maybe he would be okay after all. Maybe he could teach her some more about how to handle a knife. Y/N let out a single laugh, not noticing the others’ odd stares.

“This isn’t good,” the girl said somberly, removing her hands from Jet’s chest. That can’t be right, Y/N thought. She said she was healing. Why couldn’t he be healed, she’d just found him again…

“You guys go and find Appa. We’ll take care of Jet,” Smellerby said to the others.

“We’re not going to leave you,” the girl protested.

“There’s no time.” Y/N turned to the unfamiliar voice and was shocked to see that Longshot was speaking. “We’ll take care of him. He’s our leader.”

“Take Y/N with you, she’s hurt,” Jet said weakly. “She can take my swords. She knows how to use them.”

“No, they’re yours, you can teach me with the knife—”

“Give her the swords,” Jet repeated. “You’ve got to protect yourself.”

The girl looked at Jet’s face, and he smiled ever so lightly. “Don’t worry, Katara. I’ll be fine.”

Y/N took Jet’s hand as Katara stood, tears streaking down her face. “I tried to find you,” Jet told her, “but I couldn’t remember. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You’ll be okay,” Y/N whispered.

“Go,” Jet said, wincing. Y/N barely registered as his hook swords were pressed into her hands. Somehow, she was on her feet, Smellerby taking her place by Jet’s side, and then that horrible, awful place was gone, and someone was trying to talk to her. The boy in blue had her arm over his shoulder.

“He was lying,” the young girl’s voice said. Y/N knew it was true. It was true because she was gripping his hook swords in her hands so hard that it hurt. It was true because he had told her to leave instead of getting up and fighting his way out with them. She hadn’t known him for very long, but Y/N knew of his tenacity and his strength. And he had sent her away, alone.

Suddenly, the ringing in Y/N’s ears was much louder, and she felt her legs begin to grow weaker. She had really done something when she hit her head. The others—the black-haired girl, Katara, Aang, and the boy who was slowly having to take on all of her weight—led the way through the dark passageways. Y/N felt her vision fading in and out. What was an Appa? She wondered.

Y/N drifted as they wound through the passages. Aang seemed upset, and the blue boy was grunting as he practically dragged her. Y/N almost wanted to cry as they went up and up and up, and she felt the sunlight hit her face. She would’ve been happier if it didn’t make her head hurt so damn much.

“You think we can outrun them?” The boy helping her asked. Y/N realized that yes, there was probably someone following them. Why did someone have to be following them? And why was the sun so bright?

“Guys, I think this one might need some help,” the boy said. The sun suddenly didn’t seem quite so bright as Y/N felt herself fall.

---

Y/N woke up to the familiar smell of tea. Water dripped down her nose from a cold, wet cloth that was resting on her forehead. Jet—Y/N removed the cloth and tried to sit up quickly, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“You have had quite the blow to the head.” Y/N turns to see Mushi, who is pouring her a cup of tea from a steaming kettle. “You are in remarkably good shape,” he noted, “but you still need to rest.”

“Where am I?”

“A group of children on a bison dropped you off at the tea shop. Apparently, you couldn’t stop mumbling about it,” Mushi explained, a glint in his eye. “Pao was beside himself with worry, and I offered to watch over you, so he could continue running his tea shop.” Mushi offered her a hand with a smile, helping Y/N to slowly sit up. He put the warm cup of tea in her hands.

“And,” Mushi added, “we have a new apartment, and I am getting to open my own tea shop!” The man was nearly giddy with excitement. Y/N looked around the room. It was definitely a bit too nice for the lower ring. Her pack from her room at the tea shop sat on the floor a few feet away, Jet’s hook swords lying next to it.

“Where is Lee?” Y/N asked, taking a sip of her tea. He had to have made it out. If he could break in and save her…

Mushi must have sensed your panic, laying a calming hand on your shoulder. “He is resting in the next room. He is going through… something. I’m sure you understand.”

Y/N wasn’t sure she did, but she nodded anyway. What mattered was that he was okay. She didn’t know if Mushi knew that she knew about the mask.

“How about a game of Pai Sho?” Mushi offered. “We still haven’t played.”

---

“You have a unique strategy,” Mushi scratched at his beard. “I have not seen it before.”

“My father taught me how to play.” Y/N picked up a tile and moved it across the board. She didn’t think Mushi would ask much more—he seemed like a man who understood secrets.

“I’m sure you miss him.” Mushi countered Y/N’s move. She frowned. He was almost as good as her father. Almost.

“I do.” Y/N slid another tile forward. She swallowed, not sure whether to ask her next question. “Do you have family left from before?”

“Yes,” Mushi said thoughtfully. “But those people aren’t really family. Family is not determined by blood. It is about mutual caring and looking out for each other. Family is the most important thing in my life, but my family is who I choose.”

“You care about him.” It was an obvious statement. She wondered what was wrong with Lee and couldn’t help but think it was her fault. He had to have come to Lake Laogai for a reason.

“I do.” Mushi picked up his white lotus tile and slid it down the center of the board. “But I can only hope to accompany him on his own journey.”

“You are a very good uncle, Mushi.” Mushi gave Y/N a sad smile as she spoke his name.

“I have no doubt that your father cares for you just as much,” Mushi said, leaning back slightly as he finished his turn. “How else could he have raised such a great pai sho player?”

Y/N looked down at the board and saw Mushi’s tiles. He didn’t have any moves left, and she could win. She moved the winning tile.

“Good game,” Mushi smiled, offering his hand for her to shake. Y/N took it.

“Thank you.”

Fire Lily Masterlist

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@kaylove12

[aion-rsa]

The Weird History of A Chinese Ghost Story Franchise

https://ift.tt/3oonTBD

When A Chinese Ghost Story premiered in 1987, it was already part of a unique category – the fusion of horror, comedy, and Kung Fu. Asian horror films are known as jiangshi, which is the name of a specific spooky hopping ghost found in Chinese folklore that proliferates these films.

Part zombie, part vampire, jiangshi are corpses that are usually reanimated by demons or Daoist sorcerers. They hop along mindlessly with their arms outstretched like sleepwalkers, and feed on the life essence – or qi – of the living. Often a jiangshi is blind but can smell breath. This makes for great comic hijinks as hapless characters struggle to hold their breath while gruesome jiangshi shove their rotting noses close to their mouths trying to pick up the scent.

Comedy is a common horror film device. It releases tension and leaves the audience unguarded for the next jump scare. The addition of Kung Fu is purely Hong Kong and can be traced to Sammo Hung’s groundbreaking Encounters of the Spooky Kind in 1980. Adding martial arts action comes naturally because in Chinese culture sorcerers and exorcists are Daoist or Buddhist Kung Fu masters. In the wake of that film, Kung Fu Horror Comedies became a thing of its own with plenty of franchises, most notably Mr. Vampire.

If the horror, comedy, and Kung Fu menage a trois wasn’t enough, A Chinese Ghost Story was one of the first films of a then-burgeoning period genre called FantAsia. FantAsia is the Chinese answer to sword and sorcery flicks. It includes superhuman Kung Fu (which means lots of wirework and flying about), magic spells and supernatural beasts. FantAsia is based on a longstanding body of fiction in movies and literature known as Wuxia, which means ‘martial heroes.’ 

A Chinese Ghost Story was produced by Tsui Hark, who spearheaded FantAsia with his Zu: Warriors From The Magic Mountain four years prior to A Chinese Ghost Story, and followed with many other FantAsia classics like The Swordsman, Once Upon a Time in China and Green Snake. Ching Sui-tung directed all three A Chinese Ghost Story films and continues to deliver FantAsia films like The Sorcerer and the White Snake, but Tsui is the undisputed father of the genre. 

The Chinese Twilight Zone from the 1800s

A Chinese Ghost Story retells a beloved Chinese tale of star-crossed romance. All these Chinese Ghost Story films are titled Qian Nu You Hun in Chinese, which translates into “beautiful woman dark spirit.” This is the story of Nie Xiaoqian, drawn from a 1740 short story compilation titled Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio by Pu Songling. These were stories of the supernatural world with covert social commentary, akin to The Twilight Zone today.

Tales from Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio have been depicted in countless Chinese films and TV shows, most recently in last year’s CGI-drenched FantAsia flick The Knight of Shadows: Between Yin and Yang where Jackie Chan played Pu Songling. Nie Xiaoqian’s tale is a favorite having been retold in over a dozen TV shows and the films mentioned here.  

In the original tale, Nie is a beautiful ghost, doomed to haunt an abandoned temple and hunt for souls for a demon that has enslaved her. She tries to capture a milquetoast travelling scholar, Ning Caichen, who manages to free her from her curse and takes her home to help his sickly wife. After Ning’s wife dies, he marries Nie and redeems her. In Chinese folktales, supernatural beings often strive to become human. It’s a device to analyze what being human means, akin to the journeys of Data, Seven of Nine, and T’Pol in Star Trek. 

There was a notable adaptation of Nie’s tale in 1960. For that film, Qian Nu You Hun was translated as The Enchanting Shadow and was Hong Kong’s submission for Cannes and the Academy Awards. In the lead roles were two of the most popular actors of their generation. Nie was Betty Loh Ti, who died tragically to an overdose at just 31. Betty was a classic beauty, perfect for Nie, and this was her most celebrated role. Ning was Zhao Lei who enjoyed a long career of over a hundred films from the early 50s to the late 80s.

The Enchanting Shadow is a gorgeous film with sumptuous sets and costumes, which is what gave it such international appeal. It plays out almost like a European gothic horror in its gradual pacing and eerie Theremin soundtrack. With its international acclaim, The Enchanting Shadow set the stage for A Chinese Ghost Story 27 years later.

The Chinese Ghost Story Trilogy

A Chinese Ghost Story casts the alluring Joey Wang as Nie and heartthrob Leslie Cheung as Ning. Also in the cast are Wu Ma as the Daoist exorcist Yin and Lau Siu-ming as the androgynous Tree Demoness (Lau is male). The Tree Demoness steals the show like she plucks the hearts of her prey. Shifting between male and female voices, she attacks with entangling roots reminiscent of The Evil Dead (although she penetrates her victims through the mouth not other orifices). Her main weapon is her tongue, which grows so long that it wraps around her prey, cuts down trees and mutates into fangs and tentacles of Lovecraftian proportions.

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Movies

25 Fiendishly Funny Horror Comedies

By Kirsten Howard

Joey is entrancing, a seductive portrait of long flowing locks wrapped in diaphanous silk gowns. Everything is always blowing in the wind like Beyonce’s hair, lending a mysterious grace to Joey in every scene.

And Leslie is adorably naïve. Who can’t but sympathize for him getting smitten by mystical Joey and her luxurious eyebrows, even if she was trying to eat him? A Chinese Ghost Story was pre-CGI so the special effects are dated: stop motion zombies, puppet tongue prosthetics, post-production glowy effects and lots of wire work. But there’s a certain charm to the cleverness of the effects. It’s old school filmmaking and although it looks dated now, it still works.

Three years later, the cast was reunited for A Chinese Ghost Story II. It picks up where the original left off. Leslie is still the innocent Ning, thrust in a horrid world. To show the brutality of his environment, there’s an early homage to Yojimbo, with a stray dog fetching a severed human hand.

Ning is in trouble from the start. He accidently sits down in a restaurant for cannibals, and then gets thrown in jail. After Elder Chu (Ku Feng) helps him escape, Ning gets mistaken for Chu by his gang of rebels. One of the gang members is Windy, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Nie because she’s played by Joey Wang. Ning is smitten again.

New to the cast is another Daoist wizard named Autumn (Jacky Cheung) and his frenetic energy ramps up the comedy and action.

The sequel quickly goes to a lot of fun places with absurd fight choreography, Daoist and Buddhist magic, amorous naked hijinks, crazy flying sword blades and a hysterical giant gloppy demon puppet that’s tenuously held captive by a Daoist freezing spell. And the reveal of the main demon is over-the-top strange and hilarious. 

A Chinese Ghost Story III came out the following year, but it’s a break from the narrative. In the first film, the Tree Demoness was banished for a century, so the threequel skips forward to a century later, outliving Ning and the other good characters. Lau Siu-Ming reprises his Tree Demoness role and Joey Wang returns as another beautiful ghost named Lotus. She’s joined by her sister ghost Butterfly (Nina Li, Jet Li’s wife). Jacky Cheung returns but as a different character, the Taoist exorcist Yin. It’s the same name as Wu Ma’s character in the first film because Jacky plays Yin’s rejected student. 

Replacing the lovelorn Ning is a bumbling Buddhist disciple, Shifang (Tony Leung Chiu-Wai) and his master Bai Yun (Lau Shun). Their relationship adds its own comic relief. Early on, Shifang is splattered with blood while witnessing a random roadside sword fight, just like what happened to Ning, while Bai Yun meditates obliviously.

Although the weakest of the trilogy, the special effects have improved over the years. The Tree Demoness’ tongue lickings are more vicious, including a tongue’s eye-view as it deep throats its prey and swims down to pluck out its heart. Lotus attacks with her entangling locks and Butterfly uses telescopic fingernails.

Instead of Daoist sorcery, there’s more Buddhist magic: restraining sutra wraps, flying carpet cassocks, magic malas, and blood so pure that it is gold. And who can forget Bai Yun’s enchanted earlobes? The finale demon reveal is the strange bastard child of a Transformer and a Kaiju that doesn’t quite work but by then, things have gotten so outrageous that it doesn’t really matter.

More Haunting Chinese Ghost Stories

Tsui Hark returned to the romance of Nie and Ning in 1997 for A Chinese Ghost Story: The Tsui Hark Animation. That was during a pivotal year for Hong Kong because it was the handover when it ceased being a British colony and was returned to China. Consequently, Hong Kong cinema was on fire. Filmmakers had no idea what would become of their industry under communist China, so they were producing their edgiest political work as many tried to immigrate to other countries in fear of having their artistic vision oppressed. 

Hark had been working on the project for years and the animated format allowed him to unleash his vision like never before. This story stands independent of the others, but revisits characters developed for the threequel.

Ning and Nie are the same, although Nie is translated as Shine. Nie Xiaoqian translates to “whispering little lovely” so it’s unclear why Shine was chosen for the English language version. Other characters are translated literally like White Cloud and Ten Miles (translations of Baiyun and Shifang). Also appearing are Butterfly and the Tree Demoness, renamed Madame Trunk, along with her creepy bald minor demoness entourage.

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Movies

Zu: The Movie That Inspired Big Trouble In Little China

By Craig Lines

Replacing Master Yin is a new Daoist exorcist named Red Beard who travels in the bizarre magical giant transformer with temple bells for arms, a drum for a torso and barrels for legs. There’s also Mountain Evil, a giant rock star like demon that holds a concert and is obsessed with his hair. There’s a lot of music in this installment.

And Ning has a dog sidekick, Solid Gold, who serves as a comical canine conscience. For the Chinese versions, Tsui Hark voiced Solid Gold, which is funny because he only makes dog noises like barks and whimpers. 

Like the threequel, Ning finds himself in a cannibal restaurant but this time, it’s not in the normal world. This one is filled with demons. A Chinese Ghost Story: The Tsui Hark Animation is a deep dive into the yaoguai world.

Yaoguai means “supernatural and strange.” Fans of Asian cinema know it better from the Japanese term Yokai. It’s the world of magical creatures – fairies, demons, ghosts, immortals, enchanted snakes and foxes – different from the elves and gnomes found in Western folklore.

Hark’s animated film was echoed in Hayao Miyazaki’s Oscar-winning Spirited Away four years later. A Chinese Ghost Story: The Tsui Hark Animation transitions between conventional and CGI animation, which was groundbreaking then but comes off awkward today. It has its visionary moments but pales in comparison to the artistry of Spirited Away. 

In 2011, a remake came out, appropriately titled A Chinese Ghost Story 2011 and answered the question “What would A Chinese Ghost Story look like with today’s eye-popping CGI special effects?” Sadly, it doesn’t help despite a stellar cast.

Nie is played by Crystal Liu, who just appeared in the titular role in Mulan, but she falls short. Crystal is China doll cute, but she lacks the mystery needed for a haunting ghost. Ning is Yu Shaoqun. Like Leslie Cheung, Yu is a pretty boy singer, but doesn’t add much to the role beyond eye candy.

The Tree Demoness is veteran actress Kara Hui, who usually delivers gripping performances, but here she reduces the character to a cackling maniacal wicked witch that is strangely unsatisfactory.

There’s some redemption in the Daoist exorcists, which have a completely different and complex story arc. There are two, Yan Chixia, played by a brooding Louis Koo, and the one-armed Xia Xuefenglei, played by Louis Fan. The remake doesn’t capture the charm of the originals and the effects are unimaginative. This isn’t to say that this version is totally negligible. It has some moments like the villagers getting infected after rerouting water from the tree demon’s pool which makes them grow leaves. The villagers provide good comic relief. The sword fights are amusing too. The duel between the two Louises is high flying Kung Fu fun. The film is dedicated to the memory of Leslie Cheung, who tragically committed suicide by jumping off a building in 2003. 

Despite the title, A Chinese Ghost Story isn’t frightening. There’s nothing in any of the films that might keep one up at night. It’s a haunting tale of undying romance, retold with visionary action and hilarious slapstick moments that, apart from some splattered demon ichor, is family friendly, with about the same level of frights as the Ghostbusters franchise. But be warned. A Chinese Ghost Story opens the portal to the psychotropic genre of FantAsia Kung Fu horror comedies. Once entered, there are hundreds of films in this genre that can possess a viewer for months of binging.  

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

A Chinese Ghost Story and A Chinese Ghost Story II are available on Amazon Prime.

The post The Weird History of A Chinese Ghost Story Franchise appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[mtlcbgc]

CBGC Chapter 43 “Grannie...”

TN: MTL CBGC. Translation is gonna be sporadic. Mainly because this is not a high priority for me at all. I don’t know what I’m doing, and don’t know any chinese either. The previous translator went on a hiatus, and idk when they’ll be back. If they come back with some higher quality then I’ll drop this. ————————————————–------------------------------------------------------

The top of Tian Ce Feng Hall was split.

The sword rays looked like a dragon, and slashed towards the elder Gu Fengyang in the seat. The Supreme Elder’s face was horrified. He was the elder of Wuliang Sect, and naturally knew that the dense and heavy sword light from the sky came from Wuliang Sect’s large mountain array.

The strongest strike of the mountain protective array can cut off the power of Crossing Tribulation Stage.

He is the only person in the Crossing Tribulation Stage for Wuliang Sect. In any case, Wuliang Sect’s tenure cannot fall. He has a magic weapon, which is a copy of the artifact Donghuang Bell. Although it is a fake, it is still an immortal device. This was what he used to fight against the lightning tribulation.

Gu Fengyang flew into the air in a stunned manner, and his broad robe blew hunting cold wind, and a bright golden light leaped out of his hand to meet the shocking sword sword rays. “Oh!”

The Supreme Elder hit the Donghuang Bell, causing the golden bronze bell to make a loud noise, and the bell swayed from side to side, shaking the ancient wind and blood, but to his surprise, his implement Donghuang Zhong resisted the sword. There was only light and no damage.

Someone opened up and tampered with the mountain array, but that person was not strong enough to exert the true power of the sword rays. Thinking of this, Gu Fengyang was relieved. How he didn’t plan to manage it for the time being, the most urgent thing was to make sure the pill successfully smelt smoothly.

His aura entered the Emperor’s Bell, and the entire Emperor’s Bell was covered the main hall, forming a barrier to block the endless sword attacks.

Gu Fengyang was originally out of energy, and now his aura was consumed a lot, making his face as dead as possible, and his expectations for the human pill became even deeper. He did not sit anymore, walked directly to the cauldron and paced left and right.

Dan Fengyang was also pale at this time. His fire was constantly being swallowed by black holes, and even Yuanshen was being burned by an unknown fire. At this time, he could not ask for help, as if he was being coerced to death. Suppressed in general. He used to suppress others. He used the flame to burn others, but now everything is upside down.

He saw that Taishang Elder was nearby, but he couldn’t detect his pain and stared anxiously at the cauldron. When he saw Liu Feizhou’s complexion, he didn’t seem to have suffered the same pain. Why?

At this moment, a stern scream suddenly appeared in the cauldron. At the same time, the same sorrow was heard throughout the world.

In the pond, the tragic sentiment of a tall orchid tongue grass made Chu Yu uncomfortable, and those elders who rushed to the main temple while avoiding the sword light of the spell, felt a terrible sound at this time. The overwhelming shock made them slow.

Fang Dingyuan looked stupidly at Li Xinmei, who was fainting in front of him. Those screams of the orchid tongue grass had no effect on him. He felt that many people rushed here, his heart beating.

The first thing that the protective mountain array must kill is those who have cultivated the most. Therefore, the monks in the Jindan period are the most attacked and most of them are wounded. Instead, their low-power disciples have not been attacked much.

Those dense sword lights fell not far from Fang Dingyuan side, but none of them hurt him.

Intuition told him that all this was done by Li Xinmei. If he let others see this …

The next moment, Fang Dingyuan dragged Li Xinmei away from the array, and placed it under a tree destroyed by the immortal device. Although Li Xinmei fell to the ground at this time, her eyes were still open, and there were still brilliant gold flowing in her eyes. Although the sword rays were much weaker, they did not completely disappear.

Her primordial spirit is strong, and the sword light of this large mountain protection array will not completely disappear. She opened her eyes and looked at the two orchid tongue grass that were groaning on the ground in front of her. The gold light in her eyes was more dazzling, and at the same time, two lines of blood tears shed. That was the scream of grannie. Did she do so much and still fail to kill the wicked man? …

The orchid tongue grass were spread over mountains and mountains, and no matter how big or small, no matter how weak the murmurs are, they are miserable over and over again. Throughout the world of cultivation, whether it is in the mountains or mountains or on the Gobi shoal, those little grass lives that are extremely tolerant are repeating the same voice.

“What kind of ghosts are these grass, startling me!” Leng Buding cried out, the stunned monk walking along the forest path.

…

Haoyuezong is the first of the right way. It is located on the top of the snow-covered snow mountain all the year round. Seventeen snow mountains meander continuously, forming a dormant ice-snow dragon.

No one in the Hao Yuezong Snow Mountain has ever seen orchid tongue grass, but today, at night, when someone was quiet, someone heard a scream and looked at it. It was found that the roots of the green pine trees pressed by the snow had grown a few tender young plants of orchid tongue grass like sprouts.

“Pluck, pluck. How can Xianmen grow this kind of thing.” A disciple said unsatisfactorily, and after that, he pulled up the tender grass, crushed it and threw it away.

…

When the blaze burned others, she was also burning herself.

It was just like the situation when the fire was conquered for the last time, the flame licked her body, and the ring pours out the aura to repair her body continuously, making her tossing and dying with terrible aches and pains, but she can still keep conscious.

She was burned and healed constantly. The two forces used her body as a battlefield, and the most painful was her own.

The piercing scream finally broke through all the restraints and caused a violent shock between the whole world. It also caused the nearest alchemist and Supreme Elder to be greatly shocked by the spirit.

The fairy crane pattern couldron was swept open by flames, and the flame was like a fire phoenix. At the moment when it burst out of the couldron, it frantically rushed to the people around the cauldron. And a person made of fire flew from the cauldron, and she had only one idea in her head, while she still were not dead, burn them.

A large group of flames swallowed Dan Fengyang instantly. After a short scream, Dan Fengyang, a high-ranking alchemist, rolled his body to the end, and then completely turned to ashes after a short while. Gu Fengyang, who had been waiting anxiously, was going through the Crossing Tribulations period. After avoiding danger, he tried to save the alchemist, but found that the he was gone.

How is this possible!

The elixir is not ready!

Dan Fengyang has fallen! Dan Fengyang is the infancy! He was looking at the fire person rushing inside the cauldron with a look of shock, did she have a sky fire inside her?

Burning out all the sky fires, because there is a fire in the body of the elixir, it is easier to be completely swallowed by the sky fire. The flame was so powerful that Su Zingyun burned so much that she was almost insane. She just wanted to burn all these people to death and let them all die.

It was not enough to burn a Dan Fengyang, and she bumped towards the other person beside her.

Liu Feizhou only felt that a wave of heat was leaning over him. The flames in his body burned his soul uncontrollably, and he was out of breath.

“Mrs. Wei.”

Alchemist Dan FengYan’s star pupil could not be held for a quarter of an hour by this flame. If he was caught, he was afraid that it would turn into black and gray immediately. Seeing that the fire person rushed over, Liu Feizhou shouted dumbly.

He didn’t want to die like this, died so humiliated, and was so miserably injured by someone who he really cared for in his heart.

Su Tingyun was just trying to burn these damn wicked people. She was in the flames, her blood was red, her sense of consciousness had long been difficult to think, and she could barely see the outline of people, but at that moment, she heard a “Grannie!”

The tongue of fire can no longer be collected.

There is only one thought in Su Tingyun’s mind. She can’t burn him or hurt him. This is the flame in her body. She must control it and cannot burn him!

The flame caught on his body, and a small scar was burned on his skin. It was not particularly painful. Instead, the flames of the primordial fire that had shrunk in terror suddenly jumped up. The same is the black iron wood that increases the quality of the blaze. Before Liu Feizhou had time to think about it, he saw the fire person pounce on Gu Fengyang again.

“Go!” Gu Fengyang screamed angrily, the sword in his hand was slashed out, and the sea of fire was split straight down, but in the next moment, the so-called invincible sword in his hand was also beat by the Skyfire.

A lick of fire entangled his body and approached his meridans. Gu Fengyang was a little flustered, but the moment his flames invaded his cultivation, his whole momentum changed.

“Looking for death!” The Donghuang bell over the hall made a loud noise, which covered all the roars around, the orchid tongue grass on the ground withered. The largest one in the pond, the fleshy leaves quickly dried up, it was already unable to support the uprightness of the leaves, and it could only lay down on the ground.

When the leaves fell to the ground, the red flower-like stamens between the two leaves were exposed, and they became weak. The little tongue was still shaking, trying to send a soul-saving attack.

Su Tingyun’s sky fire is more powerful, she is more powerful, and she is just a low level cultivator. The fire in her body that day was less than a tenth of its real power.

Driven by Dong Huangzhong, she was smashed again. The clear stream constantly flowing out of the ring could not be repaired. This made her body stand in place. She obviously wanted to pounce on him and burn him, and she moved. No more.

She is not satisfied!

“Boom!” Another sound, “Boom!” A few consecutive bells rang, Su Tingyun’s consciousness collapsed, her body shook, and the flames on her were instantly weak.

Using the Donghuang Bell and ringing the Donghuang Bell continuously, Gu Fengyang also became extremely weak. After all his calculations, how could he never imagine that all this would be ruined in the hands of such a bottom-level figure.

She must die without burial.

At that moment, Gu Fengyang felt an abnormality in his back. He flicked his fingers, shot a sword from his finger, passed directly through his chest, and nailed Liu Feizhou on the white jade pillar of the hall.

“Yu'er, come in,” Gu Fengyang said hoarsely. He didn’t care about the pain, but this flame can hurt his spirit.

Outside the main hall, Chu Yu in Nascent stage and the Su Lijiang in the Golden Core stage were attacked by a lot of sword rays. Su Lijiang did not know what happened. At this time, those swords were attacking the main hall and attacking Wuliang Sect. He was still subconsciously protecting the gate of the sect. After hearing the scream, the movement of the Su Lijiang became slow.

He wanted to enter the main hall. However, not only did the main hall have a formation enchantment, but also the bronze bell covering the main hall from a high altitude. Su Lijiang couldn’t get in by any means. Instead, he was ridiculed by Chu Yu, and the two sides fought.

Su Lijiang has always been proud of his swordsmanship, only to discover at this moment that he is not Chu Yu’s opponent at all. This low-key and forbearable maid was cultivated to be at least a Nascent Soul.

Not only was he surprised, the Chu Ling next to him was completely frightened.

After hearing Gu Fengyang’s command, Chu Yu retreated from the Su Lijiang with a sword and stepped into the hall. At this time, Gu Feng Yang said, “Bring Su Lijiang in.”

The elixir is gone, his cultivation has been injured, Xiu Wei’s realm has fallen, and Gu Fengyang has smelled the taste of death. In order to survive, he can only bet on it. In front of of Chu Yu, his expressionless face finally relaxed a little.

…

At the moment that Chu Yun threatened Su Lijiang with divine spirit to enter the hall, those endless sword lights disappeared on the sky. They came together to form the only sword.

“Grannie…”

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[blushpanda]

maybe a name like 'feng' ?? honestly just because it sounds like fang haha funny vampires and werewolves both have fangs joke

im going with Vivian / vivi but ajksnxfkjaszdngkjdzn IM 100% SURE THE NAME IS SUGGESTED IM NGL I DONT THINK ANYONE HAS ANY GOOD NAMING RECCOMENDATIONS AND THE BABY ALMOST GETS NAMED “FENG”

[the-archlich]

Zhuge Dan literally rebelled because of the atrocities the Sima clan committed, he would never be on good terms with a trash human like Sima Shi and it's an insult to his legacy to suggest otherwise.

Weird that he wasn’t upset about it for the 8 years he served under them... Helping put down Wang Lang and Guanqiu Jian... Saying nothing about the deaths of Li Feng and Xiahou Xuan... Or the removal of Cao Fang... It’s almost as though he didn’t care about any of that at all.

It’s almost as though Sima Zhao knew that Zhuge Dan had too much power in Yang because he’d been stationed there for too long. So he summoned Zhuge Dan to be an excellency - ostensibly promoting him while in reality separating him from his base of power. And Zhuge Dan saw the trap, and saw the rewards Wu gave Wen Qin for defecting. So he defected too, trying to disguise his intentions with false proclamations of loyalty to the Cao family.

The prequel to Bu Chan.

[poppibranchlover]

Bats What I Like About You - Part 9

The story: During a camping trip, Poppy tells a campfire story about a magic wish-granting tree which is believed to exist in the Troll world. However, Branch doesn’t believe in the story and says that magic wish-granting trees don’t exist. His disbelief gets the better of him when he finds the tree and before he knows what is going on with it, it casts a spell on Branch, causing him to transform into a vampire bat and believe that the tree does exist! Now stuck as a bat, he has to try to get himself back to normal with the help of a bat named Feng, who tags along with him for the rest of the adventure.

You already seen what had happened in Part 8. Now get ready for Part 9!:

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp!!!”

The echoing squeak still boomed around the woods as Branch continued fly towards the sound. His face was full of worry when he recognized that squeak. Could it be really Feng?

“Hang on, Feng!” he yelled. “I’m coming to help you!”

He flapped his wings faster with extreme effort. Then he made his echoing bat screech to signal where Feng is at.

Poppy, Biggie, Smidge and Guy Diamond were following behind. Poppy was calling out to Branch “Wait for us! Don’t leave us here! Where are you going?”

Branch has no time to reply to her. He knew he had to help his friend. So he continued screeching all the way to the thickest part of the woods faster than a cheetah.

“Feng, where are you?” he muttered as he flew. It didn’t take long until he stopped by a bush before him! He made a face, knowing he was on the wrong path until...

“Eeeeep!”

Branch heard another squeak from behind the bush. As he hovered upwards to see who is making that sound, he gasped in horror.

Much to his shock, Branch saw Feng trapped in the same cage that he was trapped in! Not only that he saw his friend held captive, two Trolls were guarding the cage.

One was the bat farmer that had caught Branch last night and the other one was turquoise-green with purplish-pink hair. He wears a pair of smart scientific glasses and a lab coat and was holding a syringe with some strange-looking liquid. Branch gasped! He recognized this Troll!

“Professor Stade!” he whispered, terrified. But he kept himself hidden in the bushes just as the professor and the farmer went closer to Feng’s cage.

“Do you think we could give this little guy a shot?” asked the bat farmer, glancing at the trapped bat.

“Not to worry about a thing!” Stade cackled, holding up his syringe proudly. “I got this vermin covered in no time!”

Feng frowned at him. “Who ya callin’ ‘vermin’! We bats aren’t vermins!”

Branch couldn’t bear to watch this anymore. The professor was about to kill his friend and he was unable to make it up with him. But how can he get to him?

Soon Poppy, Biggie, Guy and Smidge caught up with Branch. Poppy panted from all the running as she tried to reason with Branch. “What is going on? Why you run to this place? This isn’t safe!”

“Eeeeeep! Eeeeeeep!” Branch squeaked in protest. He was trying to tell Poppy that he wanted to rescue Feng himself before Stade is going to kill him with the syringe.

“What is saying, Poppy?” asked Guy.

Poppy was trying to clarify the situation. She can see that Branch was pointing at the cage, then at Stade and the farmer and then he pointed at himself. Among all of the other Trolls who can’t understand animals, Poppy was the only Troll who can tell that one of them was trying to tell her something made using unique gestures.

“Guys, he’s saying he wants to rescue that poor bat trapped in a cage by Professor Stade?” she asked in shock, knowing that it wasn’t very safe for Branch to go there. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay like this? We need you to be back to normal using the tree so you can request Stade to let it go!”

“Eeeeeeeep!” the little Troll bat insisted, shaking his head. He looked up at Poppy and made a face. Then he squeaked that he wanted to rescue Feng while in bat form because he had met him while he got captured last night and wanted to hide his identity as a Troll to him by claiming he was just a bat.

Poppy didn’t like that sound of that when Branch pointed to Feng, his cage, Stade, the farmer and himself again. She was afraid something bad might happen to her boyfriend if he chose to save Feng while stuck as a bat. Had he understood his own friends? Could he help Feng? The Trolls had no way of knowing he can do this.

“Branch, no!” Poppy begged, tears in her eyes. “You can’t save that bat like this! You have to save him Troll style! Please let’s take you to the tree first!”

But Branch shook his head. “Eeeeeep, eeeeeep! Eeeep!” he squeaked. His squeaks were now meaning that he should not become a Troll first and he needs to do what is right. Then he can blurt out to Feng that he wasn’t a Troll at all after he successfully rescues him.

“Oh, Branch...” sobbed Poppy, clearly understanding what Branch was trying to say to her. “I know you really want to save that captured animal while you’re a bat now but please I really don’t want you to get caught! Stade will not recognize you but he only recognizes you’re a Troll! Please don’t do this!”

She took Branch in her arms for a comfort hug and he scrunched up into a ball with great despair, whimpering. She touched his fur. His heart was pounding furiously. He must have been even more worried than her!

The Trolls watched numbly as Branch rubbed himself against Poppy’s nose, looking like he almost kissed her.

“Please be careful, Branch,” Biggie said as Poppy patted Branch’s hair.

“Eeeeeep!” Branch squeaked with a smile spread across his face. He was now determine that he was ready to save Feng from that evil animal professor that is about to harm him!

Then he was off, wings flapping, diving through the trees and hiding on a branch, keeping himself hidden from Stade.

Meanwhile, Stade was about to point his syringe at Feng but he squeaked “Eeeeeeep, eeeeep! Eeeeeeep, eeeeep! Eeeeeep, eeeep! Eeeeeep! Eeeeep, eeeeep! Eeeeeep!”

In his own voice, he was saying “Are ya gonna poke me with that shiny balloon pin from a kids’ amusement park?! ‘Cause I dunno if balloon pins were that sharp enough to kill bats-”

Stade was unable to understand him. So he ignored his protesting squeals as he advanced his syringe to the cage.

“Don’t be too squeaky with your words, young bat,” he sneered. “This oughta be something which I CAN DEDUCE TO WILDLIFE IN THE DARK!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!”

He laughed maniacally, but then he coughed. Stade cleared his throat, realizing what went wrong. Of course, Stade looks like an old-aged Troll and he sometimes couldn’t laugh like that properly! “Sorry, just being dramatic...that’s all!” he quickly said. Then he advanced his syringe even closer to Feng as the latter tried to shield himself with his wings. He was terrified!

“Oh, this is it!” he wailed. “Sweet mother! I’m going home! Goodbye, cruel world! Oooh, oooh! Rosebud!” He said the last word as he stared at a rosebud bush in a corner.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!!!!”

Suddenly, his frightened thoughts are interrupted by a loud deafening, distorted  blood-curdling screech from just behind Stade! He heard it too. Who is making those frightening sounds? His hair stood on end and he felt terrified.

“Professor, look out!” his bat farmer assistant yelled.

He was pointing at a bat with blue Troll hair in the distance! Branch!

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!!!!”

Branch squeaked at the top of his voice as he flew towards the two frightened Trolls!

“MAKE IT STOP!!” Stade screamed, covering his ears from the screeching. “IT’S TOO LOUD!!!”

“Duck, Professor!” his assistant screamed as Branch glided closer to their faces!

The two of them screamed as they ducked, and Branch just flew past them.

“Eeeeeeep, eeeeeep!” he squeaked.

Stade held up his syringe and started to chase him. But Branch whipped his Troll hair at him and he pushed him to the ground, dropping his syringe!

“Eeeeeep!”

“Ack!”

BANG!

“Oooof!”

As Stade tried to get up, Branch bared his fangs and with one massive bite, he grabbed hold of his hair in his mouth!

CHOMP!

“Rrrrrrgh, rrmfff!”

Stade screamed and tried to shake the vermin off! But Branch kept gnawing on it. He held it with his teeth, trying to make him not to move. Stade’s assistant looked on in terror as he continued screaming “My hair! It hurts! Stop pulling my beautiful hair, you little vermin!”

Branch was not buying it. Not one bit! Until he forced Stade onto the ground and flew around in circles. He blew a raspberry at them and said cockingly “Try to catch me, suckers!”

Stade growled. He also wanted to put Branch in a cage too. So he grabbed his syringe and stepped towards him. His assistant grabbed his net and followed.

“This has gone too far, weasel-toes!” Stade said menacingly.

As he and his assistant went even closer, Branch flew away again and the two Trolls gave chase at him. Feng watched as he flew around the forest, panting. He had no clue how his new friend can truly learn how to fly that fast!

It didn’t take a second when Branch quickly caught up to his cage, catching his breath from the chase.

“Oh, Branch!” Feng cried, holding on to the cage bars to reconcile with him. “I knew you’d come to help! You’re being so brave!”

“I know!” Branch replied. “I’m so sorry! But there’s no time to make up! Where can I find something to get you out of here?” He glided there and that, frantically looking for something to open the lock. Then he looked at Feng and asked “Can you try unlocking the cage using your collar?”

Feng used his string-like collar and tried fitting it into the cage lock. But this time, unlike how he managed to save Branch before, the lock wouldn’t budge. He stared at him in dismay. 

“Sorry, kid. The lock is too strong compared to your cage since the time we met!” he explained. “Stade had locked me up in this here cage with his own keys very tightly and put them in his computer desk over there!” He pointed to a corner. Branch turned to where he was pointing at. There sat a laboratory drawer-like desk with a tiny computer on the top-left corner. And on the bottom-right corner, dangling, were a set of bronze keys. It had Stade’s name in it, meaning these keys belong to him!

Branch was not sure if he can do it. He wanted to turn into a Troll and help Feng instead. But if he becomes a Troll, his new friend won’t be able to recognize him! He has to make one decision or else his friend will be gone forever!

“Come on, try to get the keys!” Feng warned him. “And be careful!”

Branch took a deep breath and said “Okay, I’ll do my best, Feng! I’ll try to save you! Hang in there, buddy!”

“Awwww.” Feng was touched by his compromise...until he saw Stade above them! He quickly yelled to his friend “Quick! Fly away! He’s after you!”

Branch screamed and flew away from the cage as Stade pointed his syringe ast them!

Stade growled. “Come back here!”

Branch made his way to the professor’s computer desk. He spotted the keys dangling in the bottom-right corner. He understood that he had to get the keys to Feng’s cage so that he could set him free.

He glided to the table and perched himself upside down on it. He felt embarrassed after he found himself upside down. Then, with some strength left inside him, Branch tried grabbing the keys using his mouth. He tried grabbing key after key, muttering “Rrrrrgh! Rrrrmff! Rrr, mmff! Come on! Come on!”

It didn’t take a second when suddenly, Branch held the chain of the keys with his teeth! He got them! “I gnot ‘em!” Branch cried triumphantly, his teeth clamped tight on the chain and showing the keys to Feng, who gave him a thumbs-up.

Now all that Branch has to do now was release him from the cage and he would escape! Suddenly, Stade’s bat farmer assistant came to the desk holding his bat net and saw Branch with Stade’s keys in his mouth!

“Eeeeeeeeeeep!!” Branch screamed.

He flew away from the desk, still holding on to the keys. Fuming, the farmer chased after him. Branch was about to make his way to the cage until Stade blocked it!

Branch gasped! Then he tried wondering what to do, still holding the professor’s keys in his mouth.

“Got you surrounded! Finally!” the professor cried, breathing hard. “Now give me the keys!”

What am I going to do?! thought Branch in a panic. I had to save my friend! But what can I do? What can a bat really do? What did Feng teach me about previously?

He stared at Feng, then at the professor. He was still hovering next to his face, wondering what to do next.

Feng saw that he was not moving and he said worriedly “Branch, don’t just sit there and doing nothin’! Do something!”

But Branch didn’t answer. He started picturing Stade as the narrow branch hole from before in his mind. Feng had taught him how to fly through a narrow hole swiftly and properly. So Branch knew this was the moment to cease and resist how he had been taught on how to act like a bat.

He took a deep breath and, with his mouth still holding on to the keys, he managed to whisper “Okay...be...the...branch...be the branch!” He concentrated on the underside of Stade’s arm holding the syringe very carefully and gently. “I can do this! One narrow gap for me to pass through!”

Then he yelled “OKAY!!! HERE I GO!!!” and bolted towards the underside of Stade’s arm, his wings burning with pain.

Stade watched in disbelief as Branch shut his wings down between his legs and spun himself around the gap! He advanced his needle to him but it almost hit him in the butt but Branch successfully made it pass through!

“WHOOOO-HOOOOO!!!” Branch cried triumphantly. “I DID IT!!! I’D BECOME THE BRANCH!!! YEAAAH!!”

Then he put the keys onto his legs and continued flapping his wings.

“What the hell?!” Stade cried. He looked up and saw that Branch never got poked by his syringe! He saw the Troll bat flying upwards towards the full moon behind him.

After Branch made his way behind the moon, he opened his wings wide and made a gruff expression on his face. His angry eyes narrowing at the professor.

Suddenly, without warning, Branch lunged at him, making a loud harsh hiss!

“SSSSSSSSSHHHHHIIIISSSSSSS!!!”

Stade and his assistant screamed as they ducked and tried avoiding the berserk Branch bat! He continued hissing at them. “SSSSSSSSSHHHHIISSSSSSSS!!!! SSHISSSSSSS!!!”

Feng was awed by the toughness in his new buddy. “Wow!” he squealed in amazement. “That’s my boy! He’s so tough! GO, BRANCH, GO!!!” 

As Feng happily cheered his friend on, Stade and his assistant got up from the impact and the professor sneered “My keys! Somebody get my keys!”

The two Trolls started chasing after Branch once again. This time, Branch was never afraid. He swiftly glided and glided across the place, holding the keys in his legs. He managed to held them tightly so he can try to release Feng.

Feng cheered him on. “Yeah! Come on, kid!” he cried. “Keep losing them!” At one point, he held up a big sports finger and waved like a sports fan, mimicking the sounds of cheering people from a sports stadium.

Branch was trying to keep on flying away from the professor. He managed to adjust his bat vision just like what Feng had taught him about. Soon he realized there was a tree branch just right in front of him so he ducked past the branch and kept flying until Stade caught his hair on it! 

“OWW!!” he yelped. Then he managed to free himself and continued chasing after Branch.

Feng was even more awed than ever. Branch was gaining experience from what he had been taught while the two bats were exploring the woods. He was very happy and proud that his friend was able to master his skills as a bat. Poppy and her friends are hiding behind the bush as they looked helplessly at Branch trying to fend himself from the professor.

“Come on, Branch...” Poppy muttered.

Now Branch was getting a little dizzy and tired. He looked back at Stade with the syringe and his assistant with the net before him and turned away, continuing to take flight, still clutching on to the keys. His whole body melted with cold sweat as he flapped his wings even harder. He took a big breath and hauled himself away, even harder. But then, as he flew upwards and downwards for a few times, the keys slipped away from his claws!

Branch gasped as he saw the keys dropping down to the ground below. He saw Stade and his assistant coming closer to him! But he needed the keys to help free Feng! So he had no choice.

Breathing heavily, Branch flew down to the keys. But then something grabbed him by his legs!

“GOTCHA!”

Feng and the Trolls gasped!

“OH MY GAH!!!” Smidge said in horror.

“Eeeeeeeep!!! Eeeeeeep!!! Eeeeeep! Eeeeeeep!! Eeeeeeep!! Eeeep! EEEEEEEPPPP!!! Eeeeeeep!!” Branch squeaked in pain, feeling the farmer clutching tightly in his hand once again!

“BRANCH, NOOOOO!!!” Poppy cried out. She couldn’t watch it anymore!

The farmer turned to Stade, holding Branch in his hot hand. His little head dangled from side to side as he wriggled. He squeaked and squeaked.

“Branch!” Feng cried out as well, horrified that the professor has caught his friend once again.

“Finally!” Stade said at last. “That’ll teach ya how to mess with wildlife!”

Biggie held Mr. Dinkles tightly and sobbed, not wanting to see his friend die. “Mr. Dinkles! I can’t watch this anymore! I can’t look!”

Poppy watched in panic as Stade pointed his syringe at Branch, ready to kill him with it.

“Hold still,” he told him. “You’ll be fine!”

Branch whimpered as the syringe aimed right towards his hair! Then he closed his eyes, hoping that his whole life in front of him would be all over.

Feng started to see that his friend was giving up and he said “NO!! He was trying to save my life! It shouldn’t have come like this! Not on my watch! You can’t give up, Branch!” Then he turned to the right and muttered “This isn’t over yet.”

Suddenly, he took one ENORMOUS BREATH and screeched even louder than before!

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!”

Stade stopped pointing his syringe at Branch and stared at Feng. “FOR GOD’S SAKE, WILL THOSE SCREECHING EVER STOP?!” he yelled.

Once Feng finished screeching, a few bat screeches started echoing in the distance.

Eeeeeeeeeeeep!! Eeeeeeeep!! Eeeeeeeeep!! Eeeeeep!!

Everybody looked silently and anxiously, trying to know what is happening, until Feng’s three bat buddies came out of nowhere from through the trees, squeaking.

Eeeeeeeeeeeep!! Eeeeeeeep!! Eeeeeeeeep!! Eeeeeep!! Eeeeeeeep, eeeeep!

“Not again,” Stade grumbled, not wanting to hear more batty mischief from those animals.

“Hey, guys!” Feng called to his friends. “Help us out here!”

Frisky, Whisky and Nipper nodded at him. Then they turned to Stade and his assistant and glared at them.

“Stay away from our friends!” yelled Nipper, baring his teeth.

“Yeah, you can’t hurt a baby!” added Frisky, glancing at Branch in the farmer’s hands. Hearing the sound of “baby” again, Branch scowled.

“Let’s get ‘em, guys!” hollered Whisky, flapping his wings and soaring towards the two Trolls. Frisky and Nipper followed, squeaking along with him.

The three bats start surrounding Stade and the farmer. The assistant lost his grip on Branch and let him go. He landed on the ground, whimpering and scrunching himself into a ball with fright. Frisky jumped in front of the assistant and exclaimed “PEEK-A-BOO!!!” before laughing at him hysterically. The Troll screamed when he saw him!

“Nananananana, poo poo!” taunted Nipper, blowing a raspberry at Stade and opening the corners of his mouth wide. This made the professor scream even more!

Finally, Whisky flies around and around the two frightened Trolls, whooping “WHEEEEEEE!!!”

“OI!!” cried Stade, waving his hands at the three bats and having enough of their obnoxious antics. “Silly bats! Go away! You’re making me dizzy!”

Branch got up from his curled up ball shape and stared at the disaster happening around the professor and the three bats. He knew he must help them and make those poor animals avoid the risk of getting caught. He stood up on his hind legs and made a determined expression on his face. With a deep breath, he flapped his wings and lunged at Stade, opening his mouth wide and hissing. “SSSSSSSSSHHHHIISSSSSSSS!!!! SSHISSSSSSS!!!”

The professor didn’t see Branch because he was busy trying to shoo away the three bats...but he suddenly felt something chomp in his leg!

CHOMP!!!

“OOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!” Stade screamed at the top of his lungs. “WHAT’S THAT?! GET OFF MY LEG?! THAT HURTS!! THAT REALLY HURTS!! OH MY GOD!!!”

Down below the professor’s leg, Branch has lunged at it and took a very sharp bite on it! Blood was oozing in his leg as he collapsed onto the ground! He let go of his syringe, sending it flying to the air and then landing onto the bat farmer’s chest! Screaming in pain, the Troll collapsed as well, unconscious. 

“OOOOOOHHH, THAT REALLY HURTS SO MUCH!!!” Stade bawled uncontrollably, clutching on to his bleeding leg. ‘SOMEBODY GET AN AMBULANCE AND SAVE ME!!!”

Feng and the bats started laughing. It was too funny to watch honestly!

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“Hahahaha!” Feng laughed and laughed as he put his claws to his belly. “OHH, THIS NEVER GETS OLD!!! I can’t bear to watch!”

On the other side, Poppy and the Trolls laugh as well.

“Oh my god,” Poppy chuckled. “What am I even witnessing?!”

While the professor was wincing in pain, Branch sneaked beside him and grabbed something from his lab coat; the keys!

Now all he needs to do is get Feng out of the cage!

                                              To Be Continued...

                    Stay tuned for the last part of the story: Part 10!

                   Note: I use my Troll OC Professor Stade in this part.

[fuyonggu]

Biography of Zhang Chang (Book of Jin 100)

(Zhang Chang was a rebel in Jingzhou who seized considerable but brief power in the southern provinces during the War of the Eight Princes. Chapter 100 of the Book of Jin contains biographies of such rebels against the state. Almost all of this biography was adapted into ZZTJ. Despite the mention of his changed name to Li Chen, I continue with Zhang Chang throughout for convenience.)

張昌，本義陽蠻也。少為平氏縣吏，武力過人，每自占卜，言應當富貴。好論攻戰，儕類咸共笑之。及李流寇蜀，昌潛遁半年，聚黨數千人，盜得幢麾，詐言台遣其募人討流。會《壬午詔書》發武勇以赴益土，號曰「壬午兵」。自天下多難，數術者雲當有帝王興于江左，及此調發，人咸不樂西征，昌黨因之誑惑，百姓各不肯去。而詔書催遣嚴速，所經之界停留五日者，二千石免。由是郡縣官長皆躬出驅逐，輾轉不遠，屯聚而為劫掠。是歲江夏大稔，流人就食者數千口。

Zhang Chang was a fellow of the Man people of Yiyang commandary. As a young man, he was employed as an official in Pingshi County. His martial strength was more than human, and whenever he performed divinations on himself, his predictions stated that he would become wealthy and honored. He was fond of discussing offensive warfare, but all of his peers laughed at him.

When Li Liu and the other northwestern refugees invaded the Shu region (~303 AD), Zhang Chang hid himself away for half a year, gathering several thousand people as a host for himself. They stole pennants and banners, and Zhang Chang falsely claimed that his host was a group of recruits for a campaign against Li Liu. This was during the time that an edict, issued on the day Renwu, was drafting strong fighting fellows for an army to fight Li Liu in Yizhou, and this came to be known as the Renwu Draft. Because of the many difficulties then facing the realm, many skilled fellows with imperial aspirations appeared in the regions south of the Yangzi. And when this draft went out, none of the people were pleased at the prospect of going west on such a campaign. Zhang Chang and his partisans were thus able to deceive and mislead them, and the common people were all swept up in the matter. The enforcers of the draft edict were especially strict and swift, and in the territories that they passed through and stayed in for five days, even those of Two Thousand 石 salary rank were stripped of office. Because of that, the commandary and county ministers and officials all personally came out to see them when they visited, but before the enforcers had gone very far, the officials all began to band together and engage in plunder. And during that year, there was an abundant harvest in Jiangxia commandary, and thousands of people came there seeking food.

太安二年，昌于安陸縣石岩山屯聚，去郡八十里，諸流人及避戍役者多往從之。昌乃易姓名為李辰。太守弓欽遣軍就討，輒為所破。昌徒眾日多，遂來攻郡。欽出戰，大敗，乃將家南奔沔口。鎮南大將軍、新野王歆遣騎督靳滿討昌於隨郡西，大戰，滿敗走，昌得其器杖，據有江夏，即其府庫。造妖言云：「當有聖人出。」山都縣吏丘沈遇于江夏，昌名之為聖人，盛車服出迎之，立為天子，置百官。沈易姓名為劉尼，稱漢後，以昌為相國，昌兄味為車騎將軍，弟放廣武將軍，各領兵。于石岩中作宮殿，又於岩上織竹為鳥形，衣以五彩，聚肉於其傍，眾鳥群集，詐云鳳皇降，又言珠袍、玉璽、鐵券、金鼓自然而至。乃下赦書，建元神鳳，郊祀、服色依漢故事。其有不應其募者，族誅。又流訛言云：「江淮已南當圖反逆，官軍大起，悉誅討之。」群小互相扇動，人情惶懼，江沔間一時猋起，豎牙旗，鳴鼓角，以應昌，旬月之間，眾至三萬，皆以絳科頭，撍之以毛。江夏、義陽士庶莫不從之，惟江夏舊姓江安令王傴、秀才呂蕤不從。昌以三公位征之，傴、蕤密將宗室並奔汝南，投豫州刺史劉喬。鄉人期思令李權、常安令吳鳳、孝廉吳暢糾合善士，得五百餘家，追隨傴等，不豫妖逆。

In the second year of Tai'an (303), Zhang Chang gathered his host at Mount Shiyan in Anling County, eighty li from the commandary capital. Many of the refugees and those avoiding the draft call flocked to his side. Zhang Chang changed his name to Li Chen.

The Administrator of Jiangxia, Gong Qin, sent soldiers to campaign against Zhang Chang, but they were all routed. Zhang Chang's numbers grew by the day, until at last he came to attack the commandary capital. Gong Qin marched out to face him in battle, but was greatly defeated, and he fled with his family south to Miankou.

The Grand General Who Guards The South and Prince of Xinye, Sima Xin, sent his Cavalry Commander Jin Man to attack the rebels in the west of Sui commandary. They fought a great battle, where Jin Man was also defeated and fled. Zhang Chang looted the enemy army's weapons and equipment, and used them to capture Jiangxia, where he took over the government storehouses there.

Zhang Chang spread a false prophecy stating, "A sage shall appear." There was a certain official from Shandu County, Qiu Chen, present at Jiangxia; Zhang Chang named him as this sage, and prepared abundant chariots and clothing to come out and welcome him, raising him up as the Son of Heaven and creating the imperial offices under him. Zhang Chang changed Qiu Chen's name to Liu Ni, as a descendant of the royal line of the Han dynasty. Zhang Chang himself became the Chancellor of State, his elder brother Zhang Wei became the General of Chariots and Cavalry, and his younger brother Zhang Fang became General of 廣武; each of them commanded armies. They built a royal palace at Shiyan. They weaved bamboo above the ridges there in the shape of birds, dressed them in the Five Hues, and placed all kinds of meats at their sides. When many birds gathered there, they falsely claimed these were the imperial phoenixes descending, and they also said red robes, jades seals, iron sheets, and gold drums had naturally appeared there. So Zhang Chang issued a letter of amnesty, and declared a new reign era title of Shenfeng. The conducting of sacrifices and the clothing worn were thus all done in imitation of the old Han style. Whoever refused to serve in Zhang Chang's army was executed along with their clans.

Another rumor spread: "Everywhere south of the Yangzi and the Huai River is already in rebellion, so the government will raise a great army and kill everyone." This rumor spread rapidly, and so people became very afraid. Everyone living between the Yangzi and the Mian River sprang up like a whirlwind: they lifted serrated banners, sounded the drums and horns, and came to join Zhang Chang. In the space of a month, his army swelled to thirty thousand. They all wore crimson materials on their heads and plucked them to use as beards.

In all of Jiangxia and Yiyang, there was no one among the gentry or common people who did not follow them. Only a fellow of an old family of Jiangxia, the Prefect of Jiang'an, Wang Yu, and a Flourishing Talent nomiee, Lü Rui, would not go along with them. Zhang Chang sent his Three Excellencies ministers to campaign against these holdouts. Wang Yu and Lü Rui secretly fled with their clans to Runan commandary, where they took refuge with the Inspector of Yuzhou, Liu Qiao. There were some of their fellow natives who assembled many good men: the Prefect of Qisi, Li Quan, the Prefect of Chang'an, Wu Feng, and the Filial and Incorrupt nominee, Wu Chang. They got together more than five hundred families and then followed after Wang Yu and the others, not wishing to serve under evil traitors.

新野王歆上言：「妖賊張昌、劉尼妄稱神聖，犬羊萬計，絳頭毛面，挑刀走戟，其鋒不可當。請台敕諸軍，三道救助。」於是劉喬率諸軍據汝南以禦賊，前將軍趙驤領精卒八千據宛，助平南將軍羊伊距守。昌遣其將軍黃林為大都督，率二萬人向豫州，前驅李宮欲掠取汝水居人，喬遣將軍李楊逆擊，大破之。林等東攻弋陽，太守梁桓嬰城固守。又遣其將馬武破武昌，害太守，昌自領其眾。西攻宛，破趙驤，害羊伊。進攻襄陽，害新野王歆。昌別率石冰東破江、揚二州，偽置守長。當時五州之境皆畏逼從逆。又遣其將陳貞、陳蘭、張甫等攻長沙、湘東、零陵諸郡。昌雖跨帶五州，樹立牧守，皆桀盜小人而無禁制，但以劫掠為務，人情漸離。

Sima Xin sent up a petition stating, "The evil traitors Zhang Chang and Liu Ni have presumptuously proclaimed themselves divine, and their dogs and sheep number in the tens of thousands. They have crimson heads and hairy faces. They dance with their blades and shift stances with their halberds, and their spirit is too keen to be overcome. I ask that the court dispatch armies along three roads to reinforce us against them."

So Liu Qiao sent several armies to occupy Runan in order to ward off the bandits. The General of the Front, Zhao Xiang, led eight thousand elite soldiers to occupy Wan, in order to aid the General Who Pacifies The South, Yang Yi, in his defenses.

Zhang Chang appointed his general Huang Chen as Grand Commander and sent him with twenty thousand soldiers towards Yuzhou. Huang Chen's vanguard commander Li Gong wanted to pillage and take prisoner the people living around the Ru River, but Liu Qiao dispatched his general Li Yang to counter-attack, and the bandit army was greatly routed. Huang Chen and the others then went east to attack Yiyang commandary, where the Administrator Liang Huan withdrew into the commandary capital to defend himself.

Zhang Chang also sent his general Ma Wu to break into Wuchang; they killed the Administrator there, and so Zhang Chang led his host to that place. They marched west and attacked Wan, where they routed Zhao Xiang and killed Yang Yi. They continued their advance and attacked Xiangyang, where they killed Sima Xin.

Meanwhile, Zhang Chang's subordinate commander Shi Bing marched east and took over Jiangzhou and Yangzhou, where he appointed his own false Administrators and Chiefs.

At that time, the whole of five provinces were compelled through fear and oppression into going along with the rebels.

Zhang Chang also sent his generals Chen Zhen, Chen Lan, Zhang Fu, and others to attack the commandaries of Changsha, Xiangdong, and Lingling.

But although Zhang Chang now stood astride five provinces and appointed his own Governors and Administrators, such people were all cruel brigands and miscreants without a shred of discipline or restraint, and their only duties were how they could plunder their territories. So the people became alienated from them.

是歲，詔以甯朔將軍、領南蠻校尉劉弘鎮宛，弘遣司馬陶侃、參軍蒯桓、皮初等率眾討昌於竟陵，劉喬又遣將軍李楊、督護尹奉總兵向江夏。侃等與昌苦戰累日，大破之，納降萬計，昌乃沈竄於下俊山。明年秋，乃擒之，傳首京師，同黨並夷三族。

That same year, an edict was issued ordering the General of 寧朔 and acting Colonel of Southern Man Tribes, Liu Hong, to guard Wan. Liu Hong sent his Marshal, Tao Kan, his Army Advisor, Kuai Huan, Pi Chu, and others with an army to attack Zhang Chang at Jingling. Liu Qiao also sent his general Li Yang and his Protector Yin Feng to lead another army towards Jiangxia. Tao Kan and the others fought a bitter battle against Zhang Chang for several days. In the end, they greatly routed the rebels, and accepted the surrender of tens of thousands of them. Zhang Chang then scurried away to Mount Xiajun.

In the autumn of the following year (304), he was finally captured. His head was sent to the capital, while his fellow partisans were all exterminated with their families to the third degree.

[dreamingsushi]

My girlfriend is an alien - Episode 13

Fang Lie, Xiaoqi and Fang Leng smell together the different perfumes and turns out Xiaoqi and Fang Lie have pretty similar taste.  When Fang Leng tells he’s taking them back home, Fang Lie doesn’t want to go back and kinds of forces Xiaoqi to stay with him.  When Fang Leng disagree, Fang Lie just runs away with her.  On the car ride, Xiaoqi finally realizes why she could hear her transmitting device’s signal : Fang Leng’s heart was beating faster.  However she can’t really understand why would it beat faster.

She then pretends to be a couple with Fang Lie to get free food and he goes to get milk tea.  Screw them, now I want to drink milk tea too...  It just so happens that Fang Leng finds her.  He’s pretty upset that she pretended to be a couple with Fang Lie.

Fang Lie receives a phone call from Jiang Xue. She says she left some papers about the fire incident in Fang Leng’s office and wants him to get Fang Leng’s fingerprint so she can grab it before he sees it.  And she uses their friendship and how he used to get her milk tea in the past.  Fang Lie is not really willing to do it, but I guess she hit something right on spot?  I don’t know, only the future will tell.  Yep so he indeed does it.  I am so disappointed in you Fang Lie...

So Xiaoqi wants to make Fang Leng like her but she doesn’t really know how to.  She got the perfume the perfume make gave her, she looks on the internet how to seduce man, but she can’t do it in front of him. While she’s practicing in front of Fang Lie’s car, he comes out and tells her the best way to make Fang Leng’s heart move is to make him jealous.  This is so stupid...  Guys sometimes...  Conveniently, of course, he kisses her on the forehead just as Fang Leng comes out, right in time to see it.

But yet again, because she had skin to skin contact with Fang Lie, she gets cold again and when she runs after Fang Leng to explain, she starts to feel really unwell.  So to not worry them, she runs away to hide herself right at the tree she was when Fang Leng found her in the storm.

After Fang Leng and Fang Lie looked through the whole house without finding her, Fang Lie asks his brother why does he always hurt the woman that loves him.  So that’s how Fang Leng finally understands that Xiaoqi likes him, not Fang Lie.  Was about time.

So he finally finds her and takes her to a hotel.  He wants the hotel employee help her switch clothes, but she won’t let it happen because nobody can touch her skin without getting things worse, except for him.  So it’s a very cute moment, because he takes what’s she saying a metaphore, when it’s actually how it is and just facts.  However, it’s still so beautiful and romantic.

At night, while it’s raining outside, Fang Leng is having nightmares about Fang Lie kissing Xiaoqi and his mom’s death.  Right at the same time or almost, Jiang Xue and the scientist gets in Fang Leng’s office to delete every memory of Xiaoqi from his computer.  Poor Feng Lie.  He’s going to hate himself so much for this...

Oh no... when he wakes up, Fang Leng has no more memory of Xiaoqi...  THIS IS SO SAD.  He breaks up with her...

I AM VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS EPISODE.

And now Fang Lie also likes Xiaoqi.  This is getting so bad, why.... WHY?

[irichika013]

2.8. Novel translation - CH129: At the Cheng residence

[They get in, and see CFT in his bed, unconscious. SXR wakes up from his mania after putting his forehead on CFT's hand, and is adamant that he is staying right by his side until he wakes up. CMX is not going to let him, and ushers the soldiers to pull SXR away by force, SXR responds by beating up the soldiers with one hand and clinging onto the bed frame with the other, other soldiers see this and all charge forward. SXR is trapped on the bed with nowhere to run and he's wary with CFT being in the line of fire, so his defense weakens and is just taking all the beating. He doesn't believe that they'll beat him to death right here, and he's determined not to leave.]

Du Qi is yelling and screaming in distress, one soldier intercepted and stopped his advance, confining his limbs. The other guests heard the commotion and rushed in, shocked at the sight. Xue Qian Shan shoved the soldier who stopped Du Qi away and gave him a clean clap, he scolded: "How dare you touch him, you filthy thing!" Cheng Mei Xin doesn't give any attention, and that soldier hung his head and stepped aside.

[After the commotion, the guests all take their leave gradually, leaving the few who are staying after they got enough gossip.]

Only An-BeiLe and Du Qi refuse to move, seeing what it was like today, it was apparent as day how Shang Xi Rui got his injuries. Cheng Mei Xin, as the matriarch of the a militaria household, will probably not even hesitate to kill, let alone hurt Shang Xi Rui, they have to stay behind to protect him. If Du Qi isn't leaving, Xue Qian Shan is also not leaving, Cheng Mei Xin came in and ridiculed the party, saying that because Shang Xi Rui is shameless, the lot who are sticking up for him are all equally as shameless. Du Qi is usually the first to challenge back in response, but now he is just sullen, holding back his temper. An-BeiLe's face was beet red from embarrassment, but did not want to lower himself to argue with a woman, and turned away to look at the artwork on the walls. Xue Qian Shan has his arms crossed, observing Du Qi being humiliated, wearing the same grin on his face no matter what he hears.

Dinner time came, but nobody minded the meals of the few guests in this room, not even a servant to refill the tea, fully displaying the lack of welcome. The nurses and Dr. Fang who were on shifts all came back with a full tummy to change Cheng Feng Tai's medicine and record his heart rate, only to see that three of them almost seem like they're solidified in wax, fixated in their respective standing and sitting posture from before, he asked out of courtesy: "My, have you three not yet eaten?"

Xue Qian Shan stretched his back, he has countless wives and children at home, on top of that, and elderly mother, who always waits on him for dinner, he can't be lingering around for much longer, he smiled at Du Qi: "Shao-Ye, should we get going? Or maybe just to grab a bite?"

Du Qi shooed him away "Fuck off!"

And so Xue Qian Shan promptly fucked off, he's not fond of the women in the Cheng family, so he called the servants to summon Fan Lian to say his goodbye: "Don't be bullying Shang Xi Rui too much, there's two masters of high status here, a BeiLe and a GongZi, why bother to start a feud, making it look bad for everybody?" Fan Lian has been snowed under tending to his sister, and only just realised that it's already meal time, he brought over food to the room himself and ate with them.