#lion guard fic

[spinnysocks]

look at them.

sillies. /affectionate

[devilsrecreation]

One thing I noticed about my TLG Outlander headcanons is that I gave them all some sort of job/hobby/special skill

- Jasiri has her leadership skills

- Madoa is a healer

- Janja’s the enforcer/cop. Like he said, you try to disrespect the Circle, you gotta deal with him

- Chungu serves as everyone’s emotional support

- Cheezi is a master of distractions cuz I keep imagining him being the one to cause them (think the Henry Stickman distraction dance)

- Nne sings

- Tano’s a pro dancer

- Reirei has raised a bunch of rowdy pups and one mate. She deserves to be a mentor

- Goigoi…I don’t have anything for him YET but being just “dad” is good enough for him

- Kiburi has a role as the protector of the Outlands (I like to think he works with Janja to some degree)

- Tamka is an actor (at least he’s trying to be)

- Nduli is a detective

- Neema is a music-enthused “phantom”

- Kenge’s a self-defense teacher to the kids

- Sumu was a hitman for the longest time but now that he’s retired, he’s also become a healer

- Shupavu, Njano, and the rest of the skinks are spies

- Mzingo not only has leadership skills but is also a royal advisor like Zazu

[sleuth-draws]

LOVESICK (part 4) - Close to You < prev | next >

Vitani has been acting strange.

Well, she always acts strange; that's kind of her thing sometimes. But stranger than usual.

Kiara has noticed that her friend can't quite keep eye contact anymore, often darting away quickly. When Kiara comes close to nuzzle her, groom her, even just to chat, she's been insistent on keeping more distance than usual, scooching away with an awkward and very unsubtle clearing her throat. On top of that, she's being leaving the den at night more and more to pace and grumble. Vitani might think she's being discrete but Kiara knows her enough to be able to tell when something's wrong. She's started to worry that her dear friend has started to lose sleep.

She's more than familiar with the old Vitani -- the quiet broody lioness who most times couldn't stand to stick around the pride, more out of habit than preference. She's reminded now of that Vitani.

There's no one she's enjoyed seeing come out of her shell more than Vitani. Except Kovu, of course. But she loves getting Vitani to crack that crooked smile of hers, getting her to loosen up and see that there's no immediate threat to look out for anymore. Kiara never bore witness to the atrocities Scar inflicted upon the Pridelands but she thinks witnessing how her new friends have been affected by Zira's tyrannical reign is the closest thing to it. The lack of food, the lack of support, the lack of love. She can't imagine what that's like.

Kiara does realize her privileged position; she's the Princess of the Pridelands for gods' sake. She knows she could never come close to knowing what it's like to suffer this greatly or to feel the after-effects of cruelty. But it's all she can do to check in on those who have.

So when her training lets out at the first sign of sunset, she spares Kovu a halfhearted nuzzle before going off in search of Vitani as she always does.

She's not at the watering hole, nor the fields, nor in the shady spot where they play-fought just a few days ago.

Hm. The Guard must have finished late today.

Kiara heads back to the Rock to visit the lair and approaches just in time to see Vitani exit with Imara at her side. The two are speaking with hushed tones and standing rather close. Vitani ducks her head in laughter and Imara nuzzles her side.

A pit forms in Kiara's gut. Huh. She must be hungrier than she thought. Yeah. That must be it.

Before she knows it, she's trotting towards them, calling, "Hey, Vitani!"

Her friend perks up instantly, those big ears of hers at attention. She looks hesitant but smiles at her nonetheless. Kiara grins as she makes her way over.

Imara nudges Vitani with her shoulder almost smugly, before bidding her goodbye and offering a respectful nod in Kiara's direction just as she comes face-to-face.

"Hi," Kiara breathes, only a little winded from her hurried journey over.

"Hi," Vitani breathes back, though she doesn't look tired at all.

Kiara tilts her head at her tall friend. "How was patrolling today?"

"Eh, it was fine. Imara just left to report to your old man. Had to chase off some mangy rogue who thought he could flirt with me and the Guard. Unfortunately, he was stubborn enough to let things get violent."

"Ugh, he sounds awful."

"Oh, he was," Vitani barks out an amused laugh, "But I knocked him flat and he ran away scared."

"Ha! You sure showed him," Kiara chuckles, finding herself circling around Vitani. She does things like this sometimes, stalking around Vitani as if hunting -- and at one point, Kovu as well -- and she doesn't quite know why. At this point, she's reasoned it's simply a natural habit. "How lucky we are to have you to protect us." She leans in to brush their sides together, nuzzling her cheek to Vitani's. "I missed you, y'know."

Vitani tenses but that's never been atypical. Touch has always been something her friend found hard to get used. "Oh, I, uh --" She clears her throat, thrown off her game. "I-I missed you too." She shakes her head. "But you just saw me yesterday, Princess!"

"I can still miss you!"

A snort. "Yeah, right."

Kiara is about to shoot a retort back when her nose starts to itch and a loud sneeze interrupts her, startling them both.

"Yeegh," Kiara exclaims, shaking her head and licking her nose, "Vitani!"

"What?"

"There's so much dust in your fur! No doubt from that fight. You seriously need a bath."

Vitani bristles. "Ugh, no way." She shakes herself out, ears flapping almost aggressively. "Look, I'm totally fi--" When she takes a step forward, her foreleg buckles and she stumbles, catching herself with the other foreleg.

"Vitani!" Immediately, Kiara is moving in to assist her.

"I'm fine, Kiara." Vitani grits. "It's just a sprain, nothin' I can't handle."

Kiara looks back towards the fields. Her mother won't be back with food a little while. "Come follow me."

"But --"

"Don't argue with me. Come on." Kiara headbutts Vitani's shoulder and though Vitani grumbles the whole way, they walk up Pride Rock together. There, several lionesses are resting out at the entrance of the den, grooming themselves and each other and sunbathing while they still have a sun to bathe in.

There's a round of greetings when the pair ascend, including Tiifu, Zuri and, surprisingly, Kasi, who are dozing in a pile together. Vitani stares as they pass; Kasi looks away in slight embarrassment.

They find a spot somewhere nearby, still warm from the sun, and Kiara gives a look that makes Vitani sigh loudly and plop down. Kiara settles in beside her.

"Hmph, good. Now..." Kiara leans in and starts grooming the fur on Vitani's neck; immediately Vitani jerks away. "Oh, come on, Vitani."

"I-I-I really think I can do this myself!" Vitani stutters.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kiara huffs. "You couldn't reach that neck of yours if you tried!" She leans in again and when Vitani dodges once more, she reaches with both paws to ensnare her head and hold it securely to her. Vitani struggles but doesn't go so far as to kick at her with her hind legs -- a great sign. "Ha. Good girl."

Vitani goes ramrod straight. Kiara pays her no mind and starts to groom the tuft on her head. Slowly, her friend starts to relax, though she maintains the tension in her shoulders, claws digging into the dirt. Eventually, that too leaves her, pressure rolling off her shoulders till even her claws, trained to be out at all times in attack position, start to sheathe themselves. She breathes a sigh and closes her eyes.

Delight fills Kiara's chest. There's something precious about this. Being able to just lie here in peace with someone once considered her enemy and relax together. To see her realize there's nothing to fear, at long last. Vitani has been scared for so long. She might not like to admit, but Kiara knows. Kovu has told her the hardships they all had to face at Zira's paws, Vitani in particular. He'd been blind to it, at first, giving in to Zira's hate-filled rhetoric and training. But the months after the war had allowed the siblings to open up to one another, where they'd previously been emotionally standoffish.

Vitani was the one keeping their family together. Her closeness to their older brother as both of Zira's neglected children and her admittedly enforced love for Kovu was bridged by her need to do right by her mother. She amplified the admiration for her younger brother among the Outsiders, she kept her older brother in line, and, greatest of all, she was the perfect soldier. Savage and wild and bloodthirsty, eager to fight and, lucky for Zira, eager to please. Because, however small, that was the closest she would get to actual love from Zira.

A transactional, militaristic relationship.

And when at last she defied her mother, she was quickly cast aside.

Where Vitani had loved Kovu superficially, as taught by Zira, there was also the real love of being the only sibling who truly cared for him. They're twins, after all, as easy it is to forget, uniquely linked. That love was smaller, unfostered, buried away, but it was there. Her betraying Zira was what made Kovu realize there was more that needed to be talked about. How could they leave things the way they were? After they'd lost their only mother and Nuka, after not even knowing their supposedly shared father, how could they go on not truly knowing one another?

The months of healing did them well. While Vitani had been reclusive at first, there were times where she was seen with Kovu and she looked truly happy. Now, they're closer than they'd ever been, and Kovu happily recounts their visits together to Kiara.

It makes Kiara wonder: does Vitani fear being cast out again? Is that why she's been so aloof? Is she afraid that the peace is delicate, that it'll all fall apart one day and her value will be reduced to nothing once again?

Kiara will do anything to keep her from feeling that way.

An easy rumble in Vitani's throat draws her from her thoughts. She's nearly clean now, her usually unruly tuft smoothed into a funny-looking cowlick, but Kiara is reluctant to let her go.

"Something's been bugging you lately, hasn't it?"

Vitani's eyes open and, regrettably, a small amount of tension comes back to her. She's quiet for a long time, as if calculating her response.

"It's nothing you gotta worry about, Princess. I'll be fine."

Perfectly calculated, in fact. Something that says she shouldn't press or pry, even jokingly. Something Vitani wants to sort out herself. And as much as Kiara wants to help with this, to get her sleep and ease again, she has to respect it.

"Okay," Kiara settles on, "But if you want to talk, or need help in any way, you know I'm here for you, right? I always will be."

Vitani tilts her head and looks earnestly at her. Her violet eyes are soft, softer than she's ever seen them. A thumping erupts in Kiara's chest.

"Yeah. I know, Ki."

"I-I really care about you," Kiara finds herself blurting, "You're my best friend."

"What? But I thought Tiifu and Zuri were your best friends," Vitani says, surprised, "Or, Kovu? I can never keep track."

"No -- I mean, well, yes, they are -- but I can have multiple!" Kiara sputters, suddenly nervous and not knowing why. "The point is, I...I feel so close to you. I couldn't stand it if you were hurting a-and there was something I could do to help you."

The whole exchange gives Vitani pause and she's quiet for a long moment.

Then, miraculously, terrifically, magnificently, Vitani allows herself to nuzzle the side of her face into Kiara's chest.

"You're my best friend too, Kiara." Vitani smiles that lovely, crooked smile. "I...really care about you too."

It feels as though a storm cracks through her.

She's shaken, almost vibrating in her pelt. Her fur is warm, her mouth is dry -- what is this? She prays -- oh gods, she prays -- that Vitani can't hear her thunderous heartbeat. It would be awful of her to ruin this moment.

But what is it that's afflicted her?

And where did the air in her lungs go?

[pizacat72]

Here's a headcanon of mine that I couldn't stop thinking about. Tw for major character death

The reign of Kiara and Kovu comes to be known as one of the most prosperous eras of the Pride Lands since Mufasa's reign. Though not without its struggles, their kingdom remains for the most part, at peace. Simba and Nala have long since joined the ranks of the Lions of the Past but not before they got to see their grandcubs.

The royal couple begins to train their firstborn cub to rule fairly and kindly. Vitani, Kion and their friends train the secondborn cub for their future role as leader of the Lion Guard. Timon and Pumbaa are gone but certainly not forgotten by their family and friends. The Circle of Life continues its unceasing turn.

Their pelts begin to gray but their love for each other remains unwavering. The cubs grow in wisdom and compassion. Though their joints have gradually stiffened, their kingdom remains protected. Everything is as it should be.

Still, the Circle of Life continues. Wars are fought, peace treaties are forged, diplomatic ties are strengthened. Vitani passes the torch to her successor. Members of Kion's Guard are mourned. Kion retires to the jungle with Bunga. Time stops for no one, not even Kiara and Kovu.

Kiara begins to grow more tired. The change is gradual, almost imperceptible at first. Long journeys to neighboring kingdoms take more effort. Naps during the day become more frequent for her to gather enough strength. Though she plays it off as exhaustion from a busy life at first, deep down, she knows. The sun is setting on her time.

Kovu becomes worried and is more reluctant to leave her side. He fears spending the rest of his life alone, as he has dealt with nightmares and intrusive thoughts from his past. He knows the rest of his family will still help him through it but Kiara is his strongest support in terms of helping keep the nightmares somewhat at bay.

Kiara becomes sad as she fights to remain with her family. She doesn't want to leave them alone. She wrestles with it for a while before finally seeing Simba's spirit for advice. He reassures her that she can always watch over them but also gently encourages her to accept that her time is up and to get her affairs in order.

Kion is sad and frustrated. Though the two of them argued fiercely at times, they became something akin to best friends. His favorite sparring partner will soon be lost to the stars. He becomes a bit more irritable and withdrawn, trying to hide it from his sister. Of course, she calls him on it.

As Kiara declines further, she comes to accept the end of her journey, whispering love and warmth to each loved one, with the occasional playful vow of haunting thrown in. She implores Kovu to seek her out whenever he needs it and he promises, nuzzling her one last time as she joins her parents in the stars at last.

[thatsadbietch]

How the Mighty Fall

When your and Scar's bickering about how to rule the Valley gets tiresome, the Fairy Godmother seems to have an idea, though its not exactly traditional.

My usual warnings: no spoilers this time, and it is a tickle fic! Enjoy <3

“Scar! You may not eat the sunbirds in the plateau, we’ve been over this at least a dozen times!”

“It’s not my fault.  What kind of leader lets their people starve? If I were in charge-”

“Not gonna happen!  Even if I wanted to give it to you, the other villagers wouldn’t allow it.”

“Oh, nonsense, they would love me as their Ruler,”

“You tried to eat some of them!”

This bickering between Dreamlight Valley’s current ruler and the fallen lion king went on, as it had been more frequently as the stress of leadership and dealing with the Forgotten ran more rampant on your agenda.  Scar, seeing the opportunity to try to break you, resulted in these arguments more often than not.  The remaining residents were getting both worried and annoyed: sometimes these arguments could be heard all the way from Dazzle Beach.

“That’s it!” Merlin shouted from his home and, using his magic, teleported in front of Scar’s cave, where the two royals were continuing on.  The Fairy Godmother must have had the same idea a few seconds prior, as she was already there when he arrived, trying to soothe both parties.

“Now, now, tell me what happened,” she asked calmly.  Merely her presence was enough to calm the torrent in your mind, and you took a deep breath.

“I have to keep telling Scar not to eat the sunbirds.  Or Remy.  Or literally anyone else in the Valley.  If he wanted to be a Ruler, he’d have to be smarter than that.” 

“Oh it has nothing to do with my intellect, I assure you.  It’s in my blood.  I’m a natural hunter.”

“What about Simba and Nala? I don’t have to tell them not to eat villagers!”

“If they’re so inclined to deny the nature they were born with, that is their choice.”

“All right, enough! From both of you!” Merlin intervened.  You were shocked at first; you’d never really witnessed your friend and mentor unleash his temper.  However, you also knew he had a particular sore spot for Scar.

“Merlin,” the Fairy Godmother started, “let’s calm down.  Not make matters worse, yes?” Merlin looked at her.  You may have been a quick learner with magic, but she and Merlin were born with it, and they understood each other.  She seemed to be able to calm him as well, and you were thankful she’d arrived.

“Yes, I agree, my apologies.  But what are we to do?  This behavior cannot go on.” Merlin spoke in front of you and Scar as if you two were not there.

You suddenly spoke up, “We used to be friends, Scar.  Or, at least friendly.”  Scar went from scowling at Merlin to looking at you, almost laughing.

“I don’t believe we’ve ever seen eye to eye on Valley matters, Ruler.” 

“Maybe not, and I don’t remember everything.  But I used to be friends with everyone.  I don’t know how I know that, I just do.”

Merlin and the Fairy Godmother looked to each other.  “Merlin, I have an idea.”

“Yes, m’lady, let’s hear it.”  The Fairy Godmother’s smile grew sweeter, which somehow made you more uneasy.

“It would be best if I just showed you all.”  You and Scar did not like the sound of that.  But before either of you could object, she began her spell:

This bickering and fighting just won’t do,

Try seeing from another point of view.

Repair these broken, severed ties,

Until then, they remain by your side.

You braced yourself, but only felt a fleeting and gentle pulse of magical energy.  Did the spell not work? Scar scoffed.

“I have no time for this, I have other matters to tend to,” the dark lion growled, and began making his way back inside the cave.  That is, until you both felt a forceful tug and, like a fishing rod, reeled you and Scar back together.

“What do you WANT?” Scar growled at you.

“Nothing to do with this, believe me.  I think this is Fairy Godmother’s spell at work.”

“Yes dear, it is!” she almost cheered, “You two will not be able to be more than two meters apart until you reach an understanding of each other.”

“What if I ate them?” Scar asked.

“WHAT?”

“You can try,” the Fairy Godmother replied, almost as if she dared him, “but my spell won’t allow physical harm to fall on either of you.”

As if he didn’t believe her, Scar went to swipe at you, his paw freezing in place a few inches from your shoulder.  He couldn’t even bear his claws.

“Now then, if we’ve moved past the arguing for today, I suggest you go about each other’s day.  See what daily life looks like for our dear Y/N, Scar.  And you for him, young one. Walking in someone else’s shoes is a good first step to understanding them.”

“Oh, I see,” you said, and turned to Scar.  “We’ll be stuck together until we make amends.” Scar rolled his eyes dramatically and, dripping in sarcasm, he spoke.

“Perfect.”

************************************************************************

You decided not to let this hinder you, so until you could come up with a way that satisfied Fairy Godmother’s spell, you tended to the village as usual.  Merlin and Fairy Godmother had already taken the Forgetting off your shoulders for the time being: you seemed to be at a standstill of the magic variety that they offered to figure out while you were with Scar.  

The first few days went about as well as you would have expected: the villagers were confused, some scared to approach with Scar tailing you. You both bickered about sleeping quarters until you both reached an agreement to trade off houses every other night.  You hoped this compromise, and a compromise to let Scar nap for an hour each afternoon in the plateau, were steps toward a resolution.  But, he was still pretty sour about the whole ordeal.

“Can’t you reverse this nonsense? Surely if you created the Valley, you can undo this treacherous enchantment.” Scar complained, lying lazily at the ground a few feet away while you tended the village vegetable garden.

“Believe me, I’ve thought about it,” you admitted, “but to reverse a spell that a powerful person like the Fairy Godmother cast, it would take more time than it’s worth.  We may as well do as it dictates.  Trust me, I’m as happy about it as you are.”  He huffed in response, and after a few beats of silence you were approached by Moana and Remy, a pairing you hadn’t at first thought would create such a strong friendship.

“Hey Y/N! We wanted to thank you again for helping me out with getting all those coconuts for me and Remy the other day.  The cakes we were able to make were amazing!”  You remembered this favor fondly, as Moana and Remy have started to bond over cooking with her home ingredients in all kinds of different ways.  When Remy told her about making coconut cakes and frosting, but not being able to pick coconuts himself, she nearly sprinted to you with her boundless energy in excitement.

“If Remy’s cooking, you don’t have to ask me twice! It's no problem,” you replied, smiling up at them from your kneeling position.  The two know also that, mostly at night when all the favors are done and most are asleep, you’re awake with Merlin and Fairy Godmother, talking all things Forgotten, Night Thorns, and the darker magic that’s tried to buckle Dreamlight Valley.

“We saw you looked busy and thought we would come help, if you’d like.” Remy asked, planting seeds being well within his range of capabilities. The worried glance in Scar’s direction didn’t go unnoticed.

“You guys don’t have to, no need to worry-” you stopped short when you realized they mostly asked as a courtesy, but planned on helping you regardless as they got to work alongside you.  Gardening was not your favorite task by a longshot, and your smile broadened.

“You didn’t come planning to take “no” for an answer, did you?”

“When was the last time you turned someone away that needed your help?” Moana asked, poking at your ribs to enunciate her point.  A few giggles came out with your response.

“Ohohokay, I gehet it.”

After the task was finished and the sun began to set, you said your goodbyes and headed toward the Peaceful Meadow, more specifically where the Pillar of Friendship stood.  Scar, reluctantly following, looked at you curiously as you sat on the ground in front of it.  He laid again on the ground and waited for you to say something, but you didn’t.

“What are you doing, exactly?” he asked, after enough silence had passed that he was genuinely confused.

“This is the first pillar I was able to restore when I came back to the Valley.  So I made it into a peaceful place.  I’m sure you remember I’d asked all the residents to keep this area of the meadow specifically quiet, clean, and comfortable, in case someone just needs a place to breathe for a minute.” You looked to Scar, and were surprised that you still had his attention. “I think we need to breathe for a minute.  Or, at least I do. I think it’s going to take more than daily tasks and afternoon naps to understand each other.”  

Again, he surprised you by not offering a sarcastic retort or a mild insult. Instead, he posed a question.

“Why do you go among your followers the way you do?” You studied his face but saw he wasn’t insulting you: he truthfully didn’t know. 

“What do you mean?”

“You do dirty work, the constant favors, the nagging. You even let them touch you.  Is this not meant for someone below a ruler?”

“That depends.  I’m sure there are rulers who reign much differently than I do.  The way you would, it sounds like, would be much different from my approach.  But I don’t see you all as “followers” or “beneath me”.”

“Is that not the reality?”

“As far as my responsibilities go, there are certain things only I can do.  But that doesn’t make me or what’s important to me any more significant than someone else or what’s important to them.  I like to think that this makes the difference between a leader and a tyrant.” Scar scoffed.

“You think of me as a tyrant?” To his surprise, you threw your head back and laughed.

“I absolutely consider you a tyrant!”

“What’s funny about that?” he asked, clearly not amused, “Your subjects need to know their place, and yours.”

“You don’t have to be demanding or instill fear to earn respect.”

“...What other way is there that does not show weakness?”  You met him at eye level, feeling as though the next thing you say could make or break the conversation.  This was, after all, the deepest conversation you two have had since being magically bound.  Maybe ever.

“There is strength in showing vulnerability.  We all have weak points, Scar, whether we care to acknowledge them or not.”  He was silent, contemplating this for a moment.

“Before Simba’s time, I was well-respected in the Pride Lands.” You fixed your gaze on the Pillar, freezing and listening, as if sudden movement would make him stop speaking.

“I was appointed leader of the Lion Guard under my insufferable brother.  We were tasked with keeping the Pride Lands safe and the Circle of Life in balance.  Once on patrol, I was approached by a lion I’d never seen before, stating I was the rightful ruler of the Pride Lands.  I had always agreed with that sentiment and… it became the beginning of my undoing.”  You chanced a look in his direction and he also was not looking directly at you; he was also looking at the Pillar as he spoke.

“I trusted this lion’s word only because he’d said what I wanted to hear.  Next thing I know I have a venomous cobra attacking my eye, and fortunately I find the strength to fend them off and keep them from ever coming near the Pride Lands.  I just wanted some recognition for it, and do you think Mufasa,” he uttered the name in disgust, “gave me that satisfaction?”

“He could have been a better brother to you, then.”

“To put it lightly, yes.” A few moments of tense silence passed before you responded.

“Scar… I’m so sorry. I wish I’d known.” you replied, to which he sighed.

“You were but a cub the last time you ruled.  I wouldn’t have expected you to understand.”

“Merlin may have.  And the other Villagers.  And they still can, but you have to allow them.” He scoffed.

“I’m serious, Scar.  You don’t have to tell them everything.  You don’t have to tell them anything, but you at least can’t threaten to eat them all the time.”

“...I’ll give it some thought, oh gracious leader,” he retorted, though you detected no malice. 

“I’ll take it.” you responded and, not thinking about it, pet Scar’s mane.  Simba and Nala don’t mind when you do this, but realizing your mistake you quickly retracted your hand.

“I didn’t mean-”

“How dare you pet me like a common housecat!” he said, more confused than angry.

“You’re right, I wasn’t thinking-”

“How would you enjoy it if I just touched you as I pleased?” 

“I just said you were RIHIHIGHT, Scar!” you cackled, Scar haphazardly poking and pawing at your side.  He looked at you curiously, then maliciously.

“I suppose you actually quite enjoy it.”

“That’s nohot what I- OOF!”  For someone as lazy as Merlin claims, Scar was able to stand and pounce in one quick and fluid motion, effectively pinning you on your back.

“I suppose if I can’t use my claws, this will have to do,” he reasoned, sounding annoyed.  However, the gleam in his eye and smug smirk told another story.

“Wahahit Scar, noohohoho!” You pleaded, and you weren’t surprised when Scar completely disregarded your cries.  Being a fully grown lion, his two paws were nearly the size of your torso, meaning he could knead into all parts of your ribs at once with relative ease.

“Scaahahaharr! Dohohon’t!” You spat in the midst of wild cackles.  In response, he kneaded faster and with more vigor, effectively rendering you helpless in your own belly laughter.

“Oh, dear, Ruler, we spoke of weak points, but I hadn’t imagined yours being so easily exploited,” Scar taunted, kneading down your sides and relenting just above your hips.  Residual giggles spilled out as you spoke.

“Scaahahar, wahahait!”

“For what, your majesty? I’ve seen the others torment you in such a way, this is your fault for allowing such foolish behavior,” He replied, dragging a claw across your belly from one hip bone to another. He hadn’t expected such a squeal to come from you, and smiled rather evilly, lazily tracing his single claw randomly across your belly and up your sides, occasionally using his other paw to skitter his claws lightly on your hip bones, keeping you guessing.  

“I suppose I can draw my claws, so long as I don’t hurt you.  How convenient. For me.” You doubted Fairy Godmother anticipated this when she bound you and Scar together.

“Ohohohoho, greheheat! AH HAHAHAHA, SCAHAHAR!” you shrieked, feeling light traces scurrying rapidly over the thin skin protecting your hip bones.  It seemed with each swipe your body wanted to kick your legs out, but being trapped under Scar’s body, the ticklish sensations had no other outlet than the grip you reflexively had on Scar’s wrists. He tutted at you, mocking sympathy for your situation.

“You poor thing, like a field mouse captured by a bobcat,” he teased, “Exactly how much of this can you endure?”  Coupled with the constant torment of your hip bones, the question had amplified your giggles and deepened the blush across your features.  You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take, but you had a feeling Scar would test that boundary. He wasn’t exactly known for mercy.  However, he relented, but kept his paws threateningly on your hips.

“Why do you allow your followers to torment you in such a way? Is this not demeaning?” You caught your breath and wiped the mirthful tears from your face.  Your breath then hitched upon feeling Scar’s paws tense, threatening the sensitive area.

“I expect an answer this time.”

“You’re *huff* getting one *huff*,” you finally said, and Scar actually waited a beat.  He also wasn’t usually known for his patience.

“Who you call my followers, I call my friends,” you started, “I let them for a lot of reasons.  Because I trust them, and they trust me.  And because that’s how some of them play or show affection. Or that’s how they express when they want to be ornery,” you glared up at him at this, and he scoffed, but his eyes appeared thoughtful. “When you create a bond with someone, it’s quite the opposite of demeaning.”

“I would not allow such behavior from my subjects.”

“I know, and that’s okay,” you stopped, debating internally about what you say next.  It could lead to your utter demise, but knowing you weren’t going anywhere yet anyway, you decided to rattle the cage. “Some just simply can’t take what they dish out.” Scar’s eyes widened at your impish grin.

“What did you say?” he growled, his glare sending a chill down your spine and anticipation in your belly.

“Although that could be pretty tyrannical as well, doling out punishments you couldn’t handle yourself.” 

“I’ll show you tyrannical, dearest Ruler,” Scar bellowed, willing his paws to dig with renewed vigor into your hip bones.  The squeal you elicited was probably not considered “quiet” as you like to keep it around this Pillar, but as there was not much you could do about it, you laughed madly, futilely bucking and squirming underneath Scar’s weight.

“Having regrets about challenging me yet?” Scar tormented, allowing himself a sinister smirk, featuring his fangs, at your expense.

“Noohohohohone!” You tried to remove the nearing desperation in your voice, not wanting to give Scar that satisfaction.

“Oh reeeaaally?” he asked, dragging out the question as if to emphasize how much he didn’t believe you.  “Let’s try this, then.”

You hadn’t the clarity to even imagine what he could be up to, but cackled and wriggled wildly as he trailed upward, letting one paw scurry with his claws haphazardly up your side while the other kneaded up until he reached your ribs.  He snickered at you, as if he could tell your body didn’t know where to go or what to do… that is, until he kneaded further up, toward your underarm, to which your body clamped both of its arms tightly to your sides.

“Oh dear, what could this be?” he relented, making sure you could hear him and how curious he was about your sudden defense.

“Scahahar, plehehease,” you wheezed through residual giggles. “I cahahan’t-”

“Now, now, that’s not the attitude to have.  Supposedly you can do anything you set your mind to in this Valley, yes?”

“You know this is different!”

“How about a game then? I know you like those,” he started, and freed you from under him.

“A game of cat and mouse. I’ll let you go and count to ten, then if you can keep away for ten minutes, you win.”  You were surprised at this, and wondered what the catch was, but then he started.

“One, two, three…” you scrambled up and tried to bolt it, but were instantly pounced on, landing on your chest.

“SCAR!”

“...Seven, eight, nine, ten. Oh look, I’ve caught you!”

“You cheated! I should have figured.”

“You wound me, Y/N,” he started, “I laid the rules quite clearly for you.  I counted to ten and you didn’t keep away.  I said nothing about being unable to count and hunt.  Now, where were we…” Being on your belly, you were even more powerless under Scar’s weight, and he wasted no time wriggling his claws in the hollows of your underarms.  You hadn’t stood a chance; even though you expected it, you still shrieked in surprise before devolving into hearty belly laughter.  You reflexively clawed at the ground in front of you, which made Scar snicker.

“You still think you can escape me? How pitiful,” he teased, using his claws to skitter under your arms as opposed to the vicious kneading.  

“NAHAHAH, SCAHAHAR!” you squealed, and it was about the last noise you made before your laughter fell silent.

“Oh, I suppose you’ve had enough.  This time, I’ll grant you mercy.”  This time he kept his word, removing his weight from you to lay where he originally was in front of the Pillar of Friendship.  Was the light that bright earlier? He couldn’t remember.

You allowed your giggling to cease and your breath to be caught before returning to where you also were sitting before you were viciously “mauled” by a usually grouchy lion.  This same lion though looked rather proud of himself… and strangely at ease.

“This is supposed to be a peaceful place,” you scolded, half-heartedly.

“I’m aware.  It was you disturbing the peace with your incessant giggling and carrying on.” Your banter continued and you spent a good portion of the evening in this spot before turning in for the night, tonight being a night in Scar’s cave as part of your rotation.  Funnily enough though, when you woke the next day, you stepped outside and realized you were too far from Scar for the spell to still be in place.

[kaythefloppa]

TLK - Brutus

“There are two kinds of pain in this world, the pain that hurts, [and] the pain that alters"

Very few people know this (myself included until earlier this year) but in the early drafts of The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride, the villain of the sequel was supposed to be a rouge elephant that was given the prototype name of Brutus (because Shakespeare, I guess?) instead of Zira. He would’ve been the leader-turned second in command of his own outcasted group of animals, Kovu included, as he was the son of Scar, and plotted with the hyenas to use Kovu as a puppet king to rule the Pride Lands in Simba’s place.

As time went on, he was phased out, and in the final film, Zira and the Outsiders became the villains. Some production notes involving the elephant’s role in the story can be found here on Worthpoint (A.K.A. The fucking goldmine of TLK 2 production media).

I knew I immediately had to include this guy into my fanon, (which takes a lot of inspiration off of early drafts of the movies) bc the idea sounded pretty badass: I was already planning on having an elephant villain in my verse, but since I’m a total hack, I decided to use this semi-canon elephant villain and away I went to the writing and drawing board.

More info under the cut

With the end of Scar’s reign and the banishment of the Hyenas who had followed him came the return of Aminifu’s elephant herd. Amongst their ranks was a calf known as Butu (dull) who was the last-born before the elephants’ migration their ancestral home. The youngster hadn’t ever met Scar or his followers, but saw the kingdom’s metamorphosis from a barren wasteland to a flourished habitat.

He was incredibly curious of this new place that they would call home, and this excitement grew even more when other animal herds had followed the elephant’s migration. Being a youngster who up until that point didn’t interact with other animals, this was his calling to play. But he wasn’t always the most mindful of his endeavors, as with any kid who wasn’t properly taught to be careful when excited. Without even knowing it, he had almost inadvertently stepped on two infant lion cubs, and would have faced the gruesome sight if not for the roar of an angry lioness who swiftly took her cubs from under his hooves and slapped poor Butu on the cheek. Despite his apologies, Butu was faced with severe harassment from the lioness and a few others who stood by her side, and all in front of the watchful eyes of animals who’d been attracted by the noise. Fearing scrutiny from his herd, he refused to reveal the origin behind his injury, until the animals of the Pride Lands were called to Pride Rock for an important event; 

The same lioness was on trial for a similar attack on the king, and her family seemed to support her. Simba ordered them all out of the Pride Lands, with many animals booing and hissing at them to leave and never return. Even for a child, he felt a strange satisfaction of making fun of someone after they had hurt him, even joining in on the mockery, launching whatever childish insults he could, backed up with the rest of his angry herd. He learned a lot that day; About Scar and his hyenas, about Zira and her followers, and about who Simba was. But most of all, he learned about a little thing known as karma… and he certainly wouldn’t forget it — among many things.

Roughly a year after Aminifu’s funeral did Butu come of age to decide whether or not he would stay in his herd or live life as a rouge. Butu’s love for his herd remained strong, but he had chosen to separate himself from his herd and join a bachelor herd in another forest section of the Pride Lands. With the elephant’s maturity under the peaceful reign of Simba, life went well for him… until the day of the Crown Princess’s first hunt.

The Pride Lands were set ablaze, trapping Butu and his herd as if they were in an ambush. In all the chaos between trying to protect each other, and help other animals that were trapped in the inferno, the rouge was separated from his bachelor herd forever, and found himself engulfed in flame, seeing many feline-like figures running across the plains before blacking out.

In the aftermath, parts of his ear had been burnt off and several areas on his leg were swollen. His injuries made himself an easier target for predators, earning him even more injuries. The rest of his herd was gone, and his birth-herd was on migration as many herds were that season. For a while it looked like he was alone. Until a few days later where the King and Queen sought out survivors of the bushfire, and ensured that they’d all be treated by the Mjuzi. Seeing other animals with the same struggles as him eased his mind, and it wasn’t long until he had new faces to call friends. His empathy, sympathy, and his generosity earned him the unofficial title of the leader of their little “gang.” Things seemed to be making a slow incline upwards.

Until Kovu showed up.

News quickly spread that the savior of the Crown Princess during her botched hunt was none-other than Kovu, the hand-chosen heir to King Scar. Kovu’s integration into the Pride Lands, as per compliance with Mufasa’s law of debt repayal made several animals talk. Some guessed it was a ruse. Others believed his claims of having left Scar’s pride. Butu was curious above all else. He recognized Kovu as one of the 2 little cubs he nearly trampled on, the cubs who were carried away from the Kingdom. Now he was an adult and had saved the future queen from certain death. Both of them were survivors of the fire, so he was able to relate to them, even if they had been luckier than he was.

As Kovu’s time in the Pride Lands prolonged, Kovu interacted more and more with the subjects of the royal family, Butu included. The young lion seemed to be very sympathetic towards the survivors of the fire, always incredibly apologetic for what happened to them and for not being able to help them. His apologies were met with some understanding, it was a horrible circumstance. It wasn’t exactly his fault. It’s not like the fire was planned and that Kovu had specifically singled out only the Princess to be rescued above all else? Right?

When Simba had returned to Pride Rock, injured, and with the claims of an ambush, the kingdom went into an uproar, making sure that the backstabbing murderous Outsider was out of their home once again. But Butu and his gang weren’t satisfied with seeing him flee. They analyzed the King’s story; How Kovu supposedly lied about joining the pride, used the Princess to get close to him, and ambushed him with Zira. There was one thing missing. The fire. The fire that had threatened Kiara’s life before Kovu intervenened. Either that was a lucky variable that the rouge lion exploited… or it was planned. With how the fire came out of nowhere, it was easy to assume how it happened,

Butu, amongst his group, was none-too-pleased at this. Kovu was the source of his problems. Whether it’d be him directly or with help, hen thinking, the elephant and his crew vacated the Pride Lands, following Kovu’s trace to find him and perform vigilante justice on him. It had taken days until they found their trail doubling back home, only now, things were different. There was talks in the Pride Lands about the Outsiders, but not in the way the outcasts expected.

Kovu, the lion accused of attacking Simba, was now engaged to Princess Kiara. His sister, who was allegedly responsible for the fire that he exploited, that nearly killed him, had become leader of the new Lion Guard in Kion’s absence. This was enough for the elephant. The Outsiders had taken so much from him, were the devils in his eyes for as long as he could remember,  and yet here they were, basking in the sunlight, rewarded by the monarchy and cheered by his fellow Pride Landers. He wouldn’t stand for it. Not. One. Bit. All that mattered now was justice. Kovu had to go. Vitani and her Lion Guard had to go. All of Scar’s loyal followers had to be exterminated.

Giving up his old name, and dubbing himself Brutus in reflection of his tormented soul and his recent violent tendencies, the rouge and his gang reserved himself to the abandoned Elephant Graveyard, where no one would hurt them again. It didn’t matter that there was less food in the Graveyard, or that they had friends and family left behind. All that mattered to them now was justice. Kovu had to go. Vitani and her Lion Guard had to go. All of Scar’s loyal followers had to be exterminated. With the royal family united as one with the former exiles, they were a liability that had to be worked around carefully. But with the elephant’s brute strength, calculating mind, and a support group, he wouldn’t let anything stand in his path to level the playing field…

~~~

Character Notes:

Brutus and Mtoto are second cousins in my headcanon (i.e. Mtoto’s mom is the first cousin to Brutus’s mom or dad). I’m considering having Brutus’s branch of the family tree being OCs since I can’t really find a way to retroactively make any of the canon elephants his parents.

Since I age the characters like humans, and because I want to clear some air with both myself, and the audience about the timeline, he is 4 years old when his herd returns to the Pride Lands, 5 years old when Zira and the Outsiders are banished and Kiara is born. He’s 8 years old when Mtoto is born. When Aminifu dies he’s 17 years old. He is 18 when he leaves the herd (likely midway through Season 1). He’s 22 during Kiara’s first hunt, going closely on his 23rd year.

Voice-Canon: Denzel Washington (Robert McCall from The Equalizer trilogy)

My fanon of the events of TLK 2 are mostly canon-compliant (..mostly, I’ll try to illustrate the details in another post). So a lot of Brutus’s original story I had to alter or nix altogether for the sake of my verse. The biggest example of the change being where Simba yells at and humiliates him for almost crushing Kiara/Shani by accident. I felt like that was too out-of-character with canon!Simba (which I’m sticking true to in my AU) so I transplanted that situational archetype onto Zira, replacing Shani/Kiara with Vitani and Kovu, to make it feel more in-character, and to give a sense of irony to the later events of his story. This, I feel, also helped to expand Brutus’s hatred of the Outsiders, and why it hits hard to him when he realized the truth about what they’ve done and where they’re at.

According to a user on Deviantart who purchased the early scripts and production notes of Simba’s Pride, Brutus’s gang consisted of two twin cape buffalos (erroneously noted as water buffalos, one or both of them being voiced by comedian Paul Rubens,) a rhinoceros and a tick bird (the latter of whom would’ve been written to be Zazu’s wife in the story), and Kovu himself. I’ve recycled that ‘gang’ and that overall concept in my fanon (mainly so that the reveal of Kovu’s betrayal can be a valid motivating factor for Brutus’ downward spiral). I’m also considering having a giraffe in the gang because more herbivore villains are awesome.

This guy more than likely won’t appear in Roar Towards the Future, but will probably appear in a separate interquel story that takes place in the Pride Lands.

The background is edited by knightmare1985

I own nothing but the art. TLK belongs to Disney. 

[non-un-topo]

20 and 22?

Hello Neon, thank you!! <3

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

Ohh this is so silly, but I'm a fan of my one-word titles. They have a little mystery and meaning to them. Though I had to conjugate Perferō while knowing nothing about Latin grammar so I should be proud of that one in particular, esp with all its different meanings sdfghfds. (And I bet I still got it wrong but pls be gentle with me lol) But for the sake of comedy and alliteration, I think the best one I've come up with was Nile Freeman and the Midnight Menses Matter.

22. Answered!

[sabyfangirl]

AHHHHH SHOOT here we go again qwq

[lesserfandomappreciation]

So what do you think would happen if po the five and Shifu met the lion guard ?

That... would really depend.

Po, the 5, and Shifu's world seems to have furries but also animals who are just... animals. Like yes there are talking chickens but there's also... plain... to eat... chickens. There's the argument of "hey maybe everyone is vegetarian" but then why are they eating some foods that usually include meat in them in some capacity? There's for sure fish that don't talk and are just for food, but there's literally a kung-fu master who is a goldfish so there's some distinction somewhere.

The Lion Guard on the other hand are straight up animals. Sure there's societal structure and language of some kind but there's nothing to imply that they could be understood by non-animal beings (which starts up the whole argument of anyone in Kung-Fu Panda counting as an animal vs as a furry and where that distinction lies which is outside my wheelhouse). That's not even getting into the fact that they still follow the rules of animals. Predators still very much hunt, kill and eat prey. Nature still takes precedence. Like if you were to drop a human into the Lion Guard, no amount of singing would get the human to understand them and its very possible any of the characters would just... act as they would irl.

So if we're going by Lion Guard rules (they're all animals) then all the warriors would see are animals with a concerning amount of coordinating skills. Po's delighted, no doubt, these are some cool looking animals, but seeing a group of animals communicate in a way no one else understands is concerning.

A flock of sheep slowly turning their heads to stare is concerning already. A bird, a cheetah, a lion, a discount weasel and an aquatic murder horse doing the same is cause for alarm.

[astraystayyh]

Volcano

pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.

summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."

cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 13.2k

a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3

skz quotes series masterlist.

You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.

There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.

But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?

You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.

☄༄

You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.

The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.

You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul. 

So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.

But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.

Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.

"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."

Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.

 "I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.

"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.

"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."

"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.

He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.

He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you. 

You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."

Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"

"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."

You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.

Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.

"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"

Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.

You've had enough.

"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."

"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.

"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"

Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."

"That’s not true-"

"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"

"Yn, I-"

"Save it."

Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.

☄༄

For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.

You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.

Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.

You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.

What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?

But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.

That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.

Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?

"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.

"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.

"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.

"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.

Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.

"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.

"I miss him too."

"Then you'll be okay."

You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.

And you unravel at the sight.

You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.

"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."

"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”

“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.

"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.

"Get out, yn."

"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.

"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."

And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.

Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.

"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."

"You don't have to."

"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."

"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.

The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.

That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.

Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.

It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.

"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.

"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."

"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"

"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."

You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.

☄༄

One month later

If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.

Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.

You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.

Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.

Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.

Your need to flee has never been this strong.

You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.

"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.

It doesn’t.

"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.

"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond. 

"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.

"Yes," you both reply at the same time.

"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."

"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.

"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.

"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.

"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.

"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.

"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"

"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.

It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.

Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode. 

It’s Han.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”

“Have you tried being silent?”

"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."

You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.

"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."

“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”

“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”

"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.

"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."

An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."

"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"

"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.

"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."

The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.

"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”

"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."

Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."

"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."

“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”

Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"

"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."

"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”

"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."

"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.

You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."

"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."

"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.

He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.

"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."

"I didn't have signal."

"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.

"You... Are standing next to one another."

"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.

"We aren't."

"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.

"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."

"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.

Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.

You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

☄༄

Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.

Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.

Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.

This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.

There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.

The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.

The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.

Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that. 

A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.

Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.

The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes. 

Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.

Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.

Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.

They fall on deaf ears.

You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.

"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed. 

"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.

Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.

"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.

"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."

"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.

"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."

"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.

"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.

"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."

"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.

"It is sincere."

"Good."

You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.

"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.

"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."

A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"

"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.

"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.

"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"

"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance. 

☄༄

The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.

Except this time, you were joined by Han.

Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.

But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.

"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?

Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.

Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.

This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?

"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.

"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.

"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."

"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"

"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."

"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."

"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."

The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.

"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"

"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."

"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."

"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats.

"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."

"Can we hug it out?"

"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.

"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."

"You won't make any comments?"

"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.

"Okay. I'm in."

.☄༄

Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.

You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.

But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.

The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.

2:56 a.m.

An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.

You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.

And then, you plummet. 

You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.

You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber. 

Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.

"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.

"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.

"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.

Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.

"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.

"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.

"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.

Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-

"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"

"Okay," you simply nod.

He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"

"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."

Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.

"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.

"Nightmare."

"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.

"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.

"It passed. You're okay now."

"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.

"Is it a recurring dream?"

"Mm. It tires me out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."

"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.

"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."

You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.

"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.

"And?"

"Should we test it out?"

"Test what?"

"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"

"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes!"

"Okay, let's go!"

You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free. 

"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.

"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.

"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."

"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"

"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.

You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.

"You looked insane!"

"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself. 

"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down. 

"Okay, will you count down for me?" 

"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.

"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.

You've never felt this free before.

The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future. 

As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.

"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han. 

He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.

You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song. 

Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.

Ooh, let the light in

Its light shines on you alone.

Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.

You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.

Look at us, you and I back at it again

Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.

Cause I love to love to love to love you

I hate to hate to hate to hate you

Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.

Cause I want to want to want to want you

You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.

I need to need to need to need you

Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.

Ooh, let the light in

You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.

Ooh, turn your light on

He thinks he might, if the light is you.

5:22 a.m

"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.

"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.

"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.

"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.

"It's okay."

"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."

"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.

"Come closer."

You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head. 

Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?

"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.

"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I can't control it."

In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words. 

"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.

"That's the goal. You need to rest."

"You should sleep too."

"I will."

"Okay. Good night, Han."

"Good night, Yn."

You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."

"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse. 

"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.

"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."

"I hope you'll dream of it instead."

☄༄

Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing. 

You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them. 

"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.

“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and… it's partly your fault"

"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.

"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."

You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.

"I'm coming"

As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.

“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”

“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.

You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.

"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.

You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.

"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.

"Have you taken any medicine?"

"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."

"Why didn't you tell the boys?"

"Didn't want to be a burden."

"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."

"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.

Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.

"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.

"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."

"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed. 

"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.

His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.

You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.

"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.

"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.

"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"

The floodgate opens.

A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.

"You're sick. Let me take care of you."

"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.

"I will do it."

As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out. 

"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.

"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.

"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."

You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.

"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.

"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.

"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."

"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."

"What if the tunnel is closed?"

"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.

"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones. 

"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck. 

There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.

☄༄

Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.

Yet, here you are now.

A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.

You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.

He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.

You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.

You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.

That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."

You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.

"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."

"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.

"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.

"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"

"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.

"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."

"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.

"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.

"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.

"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.

"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.

"Try harder."

"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.

You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.

"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.

"You did well," you whisper back.

"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.

"Yeah, ours."

Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.

"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.

"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"

"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."

"I can, as your husband."

"Since when are we married?"

"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.

"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"

"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.

"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.

"Will you stay, please?"

"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.

"You can sleep here. We've done it before."

"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."

"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

"Are you now?"

"Very much so."

"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."

"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.

"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.

At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.

So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.

"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.

You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses. 

"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."

"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.

"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.

"Like a secret secret."

"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.

"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.

"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"

"A little."

"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.

"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness. 

"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.

You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.

Right now, it's for Han.

☄༄

The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.

Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks. 

That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.

Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.

"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.

"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."

"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.

"Snacks."

"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.

"And my eternal gratitude of course."

"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.

A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you. 

"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.

"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.

You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.

"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.

"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.

"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."

"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.

"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.

"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."

He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"

He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?

"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.

"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"

A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.

"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."

"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han. 

Two months later

You have 3 new messages from: hannie

"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"

"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."

"Volcano.mp3."

Light.

[spinnysocks]

the frenemies of all time

it was so hard to find pictures of them in the same shots 😭 they're in the same scenes all the time but not the same shots- i think it's actually a purposeful choice by the animators to show they're not actually allied, which i think is cool

[devilsrecreation]

I just thought of this:

So I’m thinking in my crackfic, after Jasiri and Kenge come back from Oz (as in wake up from a dream) and she’s telling everyone about it, Janja jokingly says “Next time, I’m goin’ to a fantasy world”, hinting at a joke sequel crackfic which I’ll never make.

And now I give you…..Janja in Wonderland

Janja follows what he swears is Ushari’s ghost down a hole or an Aardvark den into a strange new world where everyone seems to be crazy

The cast:

Janja as Alice

Ushari as the White Rabbit (ghost snake)

Sumu plays the role of the Doorknob but instead is the gatekeeper

Cheezi and Chungu as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Mzingo and his Parliament as the Flowers

Shupavu and Njano as the Cheshire Cat (skinks)

Kenge as the Caterpillar

Reirei as the Mad Hatter

Kiburi as the March Hare

Goigoi is that little door mouse inside the teacup cuz he’s so sleepy

Zira as the Queen of Hearts

Scar as the King of Hearts

The rest of the Outlanders as cards

Azaad gets the role of the Dodo, with the Night Pride participating in the Caucus Race

Extra notes:

-Janja’s the self aware one this time. He recognizes all of his friends but decides to play along for the hell of it

-Wema and Tunu play the role of Dinah (Alice’s cat), who follow Janja until he falls into the hole. Then they do that little kid “BYYYYEEEEEE!!!”

-Janja never cries, instead he gets pissy and fed up with everything. “Hey, that ain’t fair!” and “Oh, that is some bullshit” is a running gag

-Kiburi gets an accessory this time. He wears a gold chain and a cute little bowtie

-Instead of smoking, Janja finds Kenge using a tree as a punching bag. He’s also carved vowels in various trees with his claws. He gets mad when Janja grows bigger than him

-The scene where Alice gets stuck in the White Rabbit’s house doesn’t happen here. Mainly cuz I wouldn’t know what to do with it

-The “eat me” and “drink me” things still exist, but it’s a bone instead of a biscuit and a drink bowl instead of a bottle

-The minute Janja sees Scar and Zira, he immediately believes he’s gonna die 😭. It goes as well as you would expect

-Mzingo and his parliament are basically a club where they talk about random stuff while holding various types of flowers

-The fic ends with Janja waking up from his dream and everybody thinking he’s crazy Jfhhfgdg

[sleuth-draws]

LOVESICK (part 2) - Pinned Ya! < prev | next >

She's as familiar with the feeling of being thrown onto her back as she is with her own tail -- but this is something completely new.

As soon as her back hits the ground, Vitani gasps, eyes springing open, registering her surroundings one element at a time. First, the pink sky. Then, the dust floating up into the air. Then, a paw pressed to her chest. Then, at last, Kiara's triumphant face.

"Pinned ya! " the princess laughs. "Aw, man, you should see your face right now!"

As she boasts on and on, Vitani can only stare up at her in bewilderment.

No one has ever overpowered her so easily like that, even while play-fighting. Not Kovu, not Imara -- hell, not even her mother. Bitten, maybe. Swiped at and scratched, of course. Kicked in her gut with claws out, abso-fucking-lutely.

But this? Never has she had all power stripped away in just one circular motion, in such a short time.

And it was done by Kiara.

Kiara.

Pretty little pampered princess Kiara. A daddy's girl. A goofball.

Kiara with her big eyes, the color of the burning Outland sky; her jutting chin; her big, stupid, fantastic grin; her dumb, gargantuan muscles.

Kiara with her kindness, believing in Vitani’s abilities and trusting without reservation.

Kiara intercepting her, accepting the fall onto her own back if only to push Vitani upward to gain the advantage easily.

Kiara pinning her down with just a light paw now, out of breath and bragging about her victory, her golden fur dusty and tousled.

Kiara, Kiara, Kiara.

Vitani blinks. Oh.

"--used it on my dad all the time, it's practically her signature move!" Kiara hasn't caught wind of her internal dilemma. "You should've seen Kovu's face when I--"

Kiara. Her brother's girlfriend.

Vitani's stomach squirms uncomfortably.

"--right? Vitani?"

"HUH? " Vitani gasps, pulled back to attention to find Kiara looking at her with concern in those big eyes, those big, beautiful eyes – Gods, stop it . "Wh-What?"

"I asked if you're alright."

"Oh. Um. Yes. Yeah. I'm, uh -- I’m good. I'm cool."

Kiara quirks a brow at her and looks at her with an amused smile. Regrettably, oh gods, so regrettably (STOP IT , Vitani screams at herself), she moves off of her.

"You must be really tired after today. Sorry about that, I shouldn’t have thrown you around like that, heh.” (Don’t apologize, never apologize – fucking stop, Vitani! ) “Hey, c'mon, I think Mom's hunting party just got back." She looks off towards Pride Rock, smiling, and is already turning towards it to seek out her mother's figure. "I think I'll go meet her there. They may need help portioning." 

Vitani rights herself and gazes at her sturdy figure, the savannah sun glinting over her, a halo forming over her head. 

Kiara turns and grins at her. "Meet you there? As the victor of our fight, I demand you sit next to me at supper."

For the first time in her life, Vitani forgets to breathe.

[pizacat72]

writing my first tlg fic. bit nervous but it's been banging around my head for a while and i wanna get it out

[generalsmemories]

To raise a child

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader ft. yanqing (platonic)

✧ based on the asks: 3 requests asking for a family fic with jing yuan and yanqing

✧ synopsis: raising a child is always hard, even when you're a long life species with a lot of experiences.

✧ contents: established relationship, fluff, found family trope (a.k.a my one weakness with every media), yanqing & reader have a slight rocky start, mentions of other characters, sentences in italics are readers thoughts.

✧ a/n: i'm not gonna chuck angst into a found family trope unless i feel particulary miserable, they just gonna have a good ole time being parents to a yanqing from when he was a wee babie to the lieutenant he is today - also a lot of this is my own interpretation SINCE I DON'T GET A CRUMB ON HOW THE HELL THIS MAN FOUND MY BABY. not beta-ed like usual i'm sorry.

The first time you were told about Yanqing's existence was when you were not onboard Luofu, which honestly made the first meeting between the two of you a lot worse.

"... Pardon, he found what now while I'm away?" you stare bewildreded at the messenger before you while clutching the letter Jing Yuan had written to you - you can practically hear his easy-going voice resound in your head through the words before you.

"What do you mean he suddenly picked up a whole child?!"

Safe to say that the Luofu were turned upside down by the time you came back to the ship. Rumours spread amongst the citizens, gossip between the storytellers and the newsboard retelling the latest news and constantly updating on any new "information" they had gotten.

To say you got stopped at every corner before you even stepped foot back in land was an understatement. You practically had a crowd waiting for you - it was only by the assistance of Yukong that you had managed to worm yourself out of the crowd and hightail home.

Maybe it's because Jing Yuan knew you would come home first, or maybe it's because he was aware that you had a lot of questions for him. Which was why you had gotten a text prior to landing with the single message of:

"Decided to take the day off today <3"

Safe to say he was left on read.

"Jing Yuan, what has gotten into you-" are the first words that leaves your mouth when you slam your entrance doors open, only for your eyes to widen when Jing Yuan is already waiting for you at the foyer. Hands behind his back and sporting his signature smile, but your gaze isn't at your lover before you.

Rather it was on the smaller child that was hiding behind his legs, he was by no means scared of your sudden appearance you noticed. Rather, he was sizing you up and down with a fierce gaze, almost like a lion cub who had just found its first prey.

The glare made your previous anger and confusion fade into a more surprised shock, rendering you speechless on how to proceed further. Jing Yuan steps in after seeing your anger dissipate upon seeing the fierce boy, raising a hand to ruffle Yanqing's hair before he directs his gaze back to you who is still staring at Yanqing in mild surprise.

"He's a feisty one isn't he?" is what he utters softly, and it's the slight exhaustion in his voice that causes you to let your guard down and put aside your confusion and need for answers aside.

Right now there's a young child before you, a child that you don't know the lineage of - but a child that Jing Yuan himself had picked up and stood his ground against public opinion for.

And Jing Yuan didn't do things without reason.

But you're well aware that he's also the kind to not tell you much as to why he had done a few decisions. As futile as you know it is, you would still try to get something out of him later. But for now, you would have to try to give a better impression of yourself to this kid who you're pretty sure sees you as anything, but a person with good intentions.

... What do you say to a child that is currently holding animosity towards you?

Seeing your distraught face makes Jing Yuan let out a chuckle, glancing down at Yanqing who is still staring fiercly at you, "They're not someone you should be on guard with. That's my spouse, they're just surprised by your sudden arrival is all, Yanqing."

So his name is Yanqing.

The reassurance from Jing Yuan makes the young boy relax a bit, but you can still tell he's very much on guard against you, "... I'm Yanqing," he mutters quietly.

The two of you seem to have a long way to go from the first encounter.

"... What were you thinking?" you question the moment Jing Yuan slides the door to your bedroom shut, you had spent the majority of the afternoon cleaning up a spare room for Yanqing to sleep in after the meeting while the two had headed out to prepare the paperwork for Yanqing to be offcially be recgonized as a Cloud Knight.

"... I saw potential?" he tries, but with one glance at your direction and being faced with your quirked eyebrow makes him let out a sigh instead, reaching a hand behind his head to pull the red ribbon tying his hair back.

He doesn't say anything as he makes his way over to you. Neither does he utter a word when he lets his entire weight fall on top of your own, the noise of surprise you let out making him chuckle, rubbing his face onto neck, "W-Wait, hold on. There's a literal child in this house now, what are you-"

"Dear, what are you thinking?" Jing Yuan snorts before you finish your sentence, wrapping his arms around your waist before flipping himself over so that you're laying on top of him, "Our schedule clashed together too much that it's been 2 years since I last saw you? And when I meet you again you looked like you were going to pull my head off of my own body, this is quite frankly the first instance where I get you all to myself," he explains, raising an eyebrow at your gradually reddening face, "Whatever you were imagining is beyond me, darling."

"... Shut up and tell me the truth already," you murmur before burying your face in his chest, lifting a closed fist to lightly hit his arm when you feel his chest rumble with his constrained laughter.

"I didn't lie when I said I saw potential. Despite his young age, Yanqing is quite gifted with the sword," he starts after a brief silence, fingers drumming along the spine of your back, "But it would be more accurate to say I'm preparing the future generation?" he muses out loud, sounding unsure himself which makes let out a chuckle, "Wow, I'm sure lady Fu Xuan would be delighted by the news of your possible retirement."

"I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint our Master Diviner for another few decades unfortunately. She's still far too young to take up the mantle of the general."

You hum, raising your head up from his chest to make eye contact, Jing Yuan directing his gaze from staring up at the ceiling to instead stare at you as well, "Next time you're thinking of picking up a kid, give me a heads up? Or else you're going to end up on the news again like today with the headlines of you committing infidelity."

He laughs, hoisting you further up his body to peck your lips, "Please, I won't be picking up another child anytime soon. But maybe I need to show the citizens that I only have eyes for one person if they were swayed this easily by the apperance of one child."

"... Please don't say something that embarassing in front of Yanqing."

"See, you're already being a great parental figure."

Great parental figure my ass.

Is what's currently running through your mind as you're once again, left alone with Jing Yuan's prodigal apprentince. it's been a few months after Yanqing's first arrival, and the relationship between the two of you seem to still be threading on thin ice.

Your relationship with the young prodigy hasn't gotten worse, but it has in no way improved either. Whenever Jing Yuan is not present amongst the three of you, Yanqing becomes extra reserved and takes extra caution to not bother you - which makes any attempt to even talk to him 10 times harder than it has to be.

Yanqing is out in the garden, brushing the fallen leaves into a neat pile while you're sitting by the living room table doing paperwork. And yet, ever since Jing Yuan had stepped out for some urgent business, the two of you haven't even spoken a single word to each other.

Yanqing was at an age where you didn't need to give him constant attention, but with the way you two had started on the wrong foot it felt a lot harder trying to get closer to him - mostly because the boy himself tries to not be a burden on you, which in a way has become a burden.

Not to mention, Jing Yuan spends the most time with him training him personally - so the time you spend with Yanqing is close to nothing compared to your lover.

The odds are truly against you at the moment.

At this point, the new paper scroll that you had rolled out were becoming useless with how long you had pressed the ink filled brush on it's surface, the gradual circle of ink stained paper growing with each passing minute.

Topics you can talk about.. Jing Yuan mentioned he was great with a sword, but it's been ages since I've held a sword myself till the point he's probably better than me...

Were you always this awkward with children?

Glancing at the clock, you notice it's almost time for your meetup with master Gongshu over at the Artisanship Commission. So with a reluctant sigh, you glance down at the paper scroll before you - that has long been ruined before you put the brush away and roll the scroll back up.

"... Yanqing I'm about to head to out to the Artisanship Commission, can you..." your voice dies down when you see the boy whip his head around the moment you mention the Commission. And although he tries to hide it, you would be a fool to not notice the sparkle in his eyes at the mention of where you are going.

"... Do you want to join?" you end up asking instead.

You've never seen his facial expression change so much in just a few seconds. First you could tell he wanted to agree, but then you're pretty sure he managed to figure out why you were going and didn't want to be a burden, but still wanted to go. You soon saw hope come back to his eyes, presumably remembering that you personally asked, but you saw the same hope dwindle down when he probably thought that you asked just to include him.

The sight made you laugh, "... A child is a child after all, no matter where they are," you whisper quietly to yourself, "You won't be a bother, Yanqing. And wouldn't it be better for you to look around the Luofu a bit? I'm pretty sure Jing Yuan has only brought you to the Cloud Knights training area after all, we can even stop by Cloudbreath Sleeves to take your measurements so that you can get some tailor-made clothes and not Jing Yuan's old clothes."

That seemed to be the only reassurance he needed.

You're pretty sure Yanqing hasn't noticed that your meeting with master Gongshu ended 15 minutes ago. Neither has he seemed to realize that the two of you have spent the next 15 minutes just observing his every reaction to the swords on display.

His eyes seemed particulary glued to an iridescent blue sword with a black handle, master Gongzhu giving a low whistle beside you, "He's got a good eye."

You roll your eyes, "Send me the invoice later," you reply back before stepping towards the awestruck boy, "Why not bring it home with us?" you ask, Yanqing jumping slightly in surprise, his head turning around with widened eyes, "I can't possibly ask that of you, I can just save up-"

"You're staring at it like it's your first love, Yanqing," you chuckle, reaching out to grab the handle, twirling it around before reaching for the scabbard right underneath where it was displayed - sliding the sword inside.

"Consider it a gift, for future endeavours."

He blinks, taking the scabbard from your hands, staring at the intricate design weaved into the metal - and you notice the faint tears forming at the corners of his eyes before the boy leaps into your arms to give you a hug, "I swear I'll treasure it, thank you!"

Perhaps too shocked by the sudden hug, you fail to realize that master Gongshu had quickly snapped a picture of the scene and sending it to a certain general.

Qingzu had to stop the very same general from storming away from the Divine of Foresight to head to the Artisanship Commission the very next minute.

"... Well the two of you seem to have gotten a lot closer these past few months," Jing Yuan comments the moment he noticed the position you were currently in. You merely glared halfheartedly at him, but Jing Yuan made no effort to help you - instead walking over to bend down to peck your forehead, careful to not wake the child asleep on top of you.

"I told him to head home before me since I still had affairs to tend to, didn't think he would immediately collapse on top of you and doze off," Jing Yuan remarks with a laugh.

You had one hand supporting Yanqing weight on top of you so that he doesn't topple over, so you decide to use your other hand to reach over and flick Jing Yuan on the forhead - a flick he moved away from with a smirk, "He just dozed off mid-talk too. He was talking about your recent spar match before he just fell asleep," you say, "And to think he vehemently denied not needing a nap after a training session because he's not a child."

Jing Yuan lets out another laugh at that, effortlessly wrangling Yanqing away from your hold and hoisting him up in his arms without manaing to wake him up, "Well if you treat him like an adult, he'll show the temperament of a child as well."

"You should try to get some rest as well, dear. We can just order something from Aurum Alley later," Jing Yuan suggests, to which you merely nod to, standing up to stretch your limbs, "Join me then, I'm sure our dozing general is quite tired too."

"My, what an alluring offer. Can I assume that there's something more-"

"Don't push your luck."

here's the 3 requests that wanted a family fic - i actually struggled a bit with how to do this, but alas - i just know future me will conjure something up again so have this as a teaser HAHA

[kaythefloppa]

I fucks with the headcanon that Vitani is Scar’s daughter - For a lot of reasons (similar reasons as to why I see Zira as Scar’s mate, and Nuka as their son, even though I’m aware that there is on-screen evidence against that idea) but the one I love the most is that Simba’s parents —Mufasa and Sarabi— would be Vitani’s uncle and aunt and frankly, that’s a dynamic I rarely ever see in most fan works that portray her as Scar’s daughter.

Like, could you imagine Sarabi being a mental counselor to her adult niece, giving her life lessons, or maybe telling her truths about Scar himself that she and her brothers were sheltered from for years on end? I know a lot of people see Nala filling in for the mother figure after Zira is killed but Sarabi would also fits that spot (hate hate hate how the writers of Simba’s Pride excluded her from the script on the basis of “she had nothing to do” bitch be so fucken fr)

Or let’s say Mufasa, since if we acknowledge The Lion Guard’s canon, Vitani has the Roar of the Elders (which would ironically be a position that her father had which she’d be gaining, again, why I’m very attached to the idea), she could talk to the Lions of the Past, including Mufasa, and once again, she could learn truths about Scar that Zira had kept from him. It’s never even established whether or not the Outsiders even know that Scar offed his brother, which opens up another can of worms, like, what was he like before the tragedy, how much of Zira’s story of Scar was actually true? What was the truth behind him losing the Roar? Also, Uncle Mufasa; just saying that phrase is a serotonin boost. But if he could offer wisdom to his grieving son, his maturing grandson, and help manufacture a loving relationship between his granddaughter and his brother’s hand-picked successor, I see no reason why he wouldn’t be there for his estranged niece’s re-integration into her family.

This is all headcanon material/speculation, but in a scenario where Vitani is related to Scar, I would see a good element of her post-TLK/TLG story being a positive inverse of Simba’s — Simba’s uncle being the cause of his trauma, and Vitani’s uncle and aunt helping her overcome it.

chef’s kiss.