#listen i do Not have the camp counselor personality or energy. but that ended up working way too well in my favor

[noctude]

me: im not camp counseling again this summer it was so stressful and exhausting and badly run

camp hiring manager: hi 🥺🥺 we saw you didn’t apply this year… like the deadline passed but ummmm 🥺🥺 we neeeeed your unusual gay ass please come back please 💕💖🌻💝✨

me: omgggg who me?.? i meannnn maybe it wasn’t soooo bad,..,……

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Ik its not ur post but the camp counselor hcs got me thinkin about the listeners being counselors for another camp and the boys camp and theirs have a friendly rivalry. The boys n listeners sittin around a campfire at night when all the kids are sleeping. End of camp counselor vs counselor tug of war. Pls its so cute

Tug of War.

Both sides were whisper yelling at each other as they all pulled on the rope as hard as they could. Trying to be quiet since all the kids were put done to sleep, Auron could feel a headache coming on from all the grunting. Sighing he looks to his right to see Rook cheering, silently, on the group their friend's were on, while the boys were on the other side. The whole thing started because Alphonse was shit talking to Boo. Which usually didn't cause anything to happen but Boo decided why not take him up on his bet he said in the spur of the moment? First they had to convince Auron that it was a good idea.

"No." is what they got, the older man was looking over different papers of the children that came in making sure that none of the activities tomorrow would affect any of them.

"Auron, pal, budd-" A glare was shot at Alphonse to shut him up. It was clear they weren't going to get through to him as they were politely kicked out of his cabin. Boo had a plan B for situations for this, dragging Alphonse by his arm they started to hunt down Rook's location on the grounds.

On the other side of the camp, Rook was closing the last door of the cabin they were watching over today. But as they turn they almost screamed when Boo spawned out of no where, Alphonse seeing this hurried to cover Rook's mouth. The person with his hand on their face glared at both of them, it's funny how Rook can gather up energy to give them the 'Auron Stare' as Faust says. So Alphonse quickly got his hand off of their face as Boo explained the bet he said.

"Okay so, Al here, shit talker mother fucker." A eye roll is what they got as a response, "Said that the boys could beat us listeners in a tug of war game easily." Rook looked at Al and giggled. They wondered why both decided to tell them this...oh so that's what they need from them.

"And you couldn't convince Auron that it was a good idea?" The baker and pinkette nodded together. Rook sighed as they whipped out their phone and checked the time, "If I can't convince him in 5 minutes were going to have it tomorrow so the kids can have something fun to watch got it?" The other two nodded as they rushed to tell the other counselors the fun idea. It was easy to get all the adults at the campfire that they usually have when the kids all hunker down for the night. But it was kinda hard to convince them to play tug of war.

"Why would I want to do that and ruin my nail polish?" Faust said as Star sat next to him, but luckily his partner answered for Alphonse.

"What scared us listeners would win?" Faust looked at his partner unfazed, "Starlight you need to try harder than that." Some of the adults agreed with Faust, not with the nail polish but it was kinda late to be doing this.

"How about a reward for the group that wins?" Scout smirked as they spoke, this got everyone attention. "Losers....have to clean the bathrooms." They all looked at Scout who was glaring at Alphonse, "What you say candy boy?" Alphonse scoffed as he bend down to talk shit, "Be-" He was interrupted by a loud cough.

Auron was standing there with his arms crossed with a annoyed look on his face, along with a viewable kiss mark. Rook was smiling next to him holding one of his arms "I was able to convince him!" Auron rolled his eyes as he looked at Alphonse, Boo and Scout.

"So, losers clean the bathrooms? Fine." Alphonse sent a thank you to Rook but Auron spoke again, "Who's going to play?" Looking at the group of adults most of the listeners agreed to play but of course. Faust had to be convinced, what got him into gear was Auron whispering something to him and he got up quickly.

"Let's get this over with, I have paper work that needs to be done." And so here we are now on the boy's side is; Alphonse, Faust, Charlie, Finn, Seth, Jack, and Lucien. With the listeners having; Boo, Scout, Star, Casper, Sunflower, Buddy, and Angel. Auron and Rook were out because, Auron was the only one all of them were comfortable to have being the referee and Rook was automatically out to make the sides even.

"I want this over quickly so play fair, who ever crosses the line first is the loser. Wake the kids up 10 laps on the track, and now both sides ready?" Both sides held up the rope with determination in their eyes. Rook held up the flag waiting for Auron's mark "Ready....set....go!" The listener's were able to yank to rope a bit to their side but Lucien in the back of the boy's line anchored them down.

Grunts and quiet cursing on heard on both sides, along with shit talking of course. "Hey Boo, don't be mad when we win, ok?" He almost was yanked forward by Boo's pure spite, "How about you pull on that rope before I'll make you fall for me again, pretty boy." Rook giggled seeing the couple being competitive against each other. It was them that got the counselors in bets half of the time, like who can eat the most sandwiches. Lucien was happy with this one because he got to try making sandwiches that the kids might like.

Auron looked at Rook who was cheering silently for their friend's, maybe this wasn't so bad. The kisses he got to convince him weren't all that bad either, but he was getting bored quickly over this as neither side gave up the rope. But that changed when Alphonse told Big Red to pull harder, this caused the listeners to panic since Big was well, bigger and stronger than them. Angel trying to counter their partner pulled all their weight to Anchor everyone down.

Buddy and Sunflower started to do the same as they tried to pull the rope to them more. As the tug of war game was going on the ground was getting smashed more, and a pitter patter of rain started.

"Fuck." Alphonse said as he tried to focus on not slipping in the now forming mud at his feet. Rook giggled as they opened an umbrella "Poor guy didn't check the forecast, crazy that there was gonna be a bit of rain on this summers day huh, Auron?" Auron laughed a bit as he held them close and the umbrella as well.

"Hopefully this'll teach him a lesson to make make silly bets during the night." As he said this Alphonse slipped in the mud and Boo being a loving partner they are took this opportunity to yank hard on the rope as the other listeners did after them. The yank caused Red to fall on Seth, because Jack seeing the mountain of a man moved out the way. Causing all the other boys to fall forward.

"And the winners are...The listeners!" Auron said nonchalantly as he looked at Alphonse who was whipping mud off his face glaring at Boo. Faust was whinnying about the mud getting on his shirt from falling and Star rushed to help him, the others following after making sure their partners were okay. The only one okay with the mud on them was Finn, he had actually fallen in the mud earlier today during gardening time with his group.

After everyone got to their respectful cabins they all washed off and Auron told the boys "I want the bathrooms cleaned before the kids wake up, thank you." Rook followed him after to his office in his cabin with a giggle as they told everyone good night.

[kokomos]

*°; 𝙄 𝙒𝘼𝙉𝙉𝘼 𝘽𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝘽𝙊𝙔𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙉𝘿 ✦ ‧˚.

dylan lenivy relationship headcanons

+ As the self-proclaimed 'master of music', Dylan is always sharing songs with you. He gets so excited when he listens to something new and it makes him think of you, he has a long ass playlist of songs in your name.

+ He kinda dreads the serious stuff in relationships, he wants everything to stay upbeat and lighthearted.

+ This means you're probably gonna have to take the lead communication-wise, it makes him super uncomfortable to talk about his real feelings.

+ He's such a good support system, though! He appreciates the balance between you two and it affirms his belief that you two are "meant to be".

+ Good at hiding it, but he is riddled with anxiety most days. Some handholding and a couple kisses would help him a lot though (his words, not mine lol).

+ PDA makes him nervous!! He tries to put on a tough face but you really should go easy on him if you guys are in front of other people, even his friends.

+ While working at the camp together, he'll use up most of his energy trying to get you to goof off with him, it doesn't matter how hard you try to stay committed to your responsibilities, you always end up somewhere secluded with your hands all over him. This results in a lot of reprimanding from Chris and too much teasing from the counselors.

+ "I can understand young love, Dylan, but your job comes first! The kids are counting on you, your friends are, I am… blah blah blah"

+ Chris makes such crappy arguments you're leaving your cabin that night to meet up with Dylan again.

+ He loves the thrill from disobeying authority, it makes him feel like a carefree kid again. It's why he likes to tease you a lot! He just loves playing around and wants to make you laugh.

+ Speaking of playing, the kids at the camp see him as one of their own since he's one of the few counselors who will take full part in their shenanigans. It's pretty cute until you find yourself being targeted by a child army under Dylan's command.

+ Takes the most pride in his humor, he adores the sound of your laugh so he'll do anything to hear it again and again.

+ Not necessarily the jealous type, but he can feel threatened if he sees you laughing a lot at someone's jokes.

+ Absolutely loves that he's taller than you even if it's only by a couple inches, he'll take any opportunity to remind you just how small you are compared to him. His signature move is coming up behind you and stretching his big arms over your whole frame to get what you were reaching for.

+ If you're taller than him, he's constantly standing on his tippy toes to close the gap. He secretly likes being smaller than you because he's usually the biggest person in the room and this lets him take on a different role for once.

+ He wants you to take the lead when you two get intimate, despite the attitude he can catch with the others, he's always been more than eager to do whatever you tell him to.

+ He's really so sweet, he loves being good for you.

+ Dylan's also got that secret smart side he likes to keep tightly under wraps unless he gets to flex in front of you lol. He's can't help but get cocky when he sees how impressed you are with his random quantum physics facts/rants.

+ A man who needs a lot of reassurance. It's hard for him to believe you actually want to be with him considering the fake personalities he plays into in order to 'protect' himself.

+ Needs someone who can see him as he is, who really likes him for him and not the persona he created to get through his nervous start at the camp.

— ♡☆

a/n: this was written with a male or gn reader in mind, dylan is gay!!

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Could I request Tommy with a reader who has social anxiety?

As someone with social anxiety yes yes you can he just radiates "safe person" energy

Tommy Slater x Reader with Social Anxiety

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, mentions of social anxiety, mentions of panic attacks, reader knows Tommy from highschool

You had thought becoming a camp counselor was going to be a good idea. That this was going to be good for you. At least, that's what everyone kept telling you. Your parents, your therapist, everyone.

You'd always kept to yourself, and your teachers and parents just thought it was a shyness that you'd grow out of. Only, well...You didn't. As the years went on you ended up having panic attacks, constantly wanted to stay home from school almost to the point of truancy, and finally got enrolled in talk therapy. Which proved hard at first since you didn't know your therapist. With you in college, you knew you needed to do something. And, everyone was sure that the best course of action was to just "face your fears" and to put yourself in a roll where you needed to "rise to the occasion". Aka, a camp counselor in charge of both Shadyside and Sunnyvale students. Only, as soon as you got on the bus, you were trying to do everything in your power not to have a panic attack

You'd sat in the middle, trying to avoid the excited Sunnyvale counselors in the front and your fellow Shadysiders in the back. You had your carry-corder, something you brought with you everywhere even if the thing weighed an easy three pounds, and your headphones covering your ears. You were listening to one of your mixtapes, planning on avoiding talking to people as much as possible until camp actually started and to not think about the long stretch of time ahead of you when you felt someone tap your shoulder.

You were quick to turn your head, and you felt as though your eyes had gone as wide as saucers when you saw that it was Tommy Slater. Golden boy of Shadyside. And he was giving you a smile and tapping his ear, as if signaling you to take your headphones off. You felt a jolt of fear rush through you, but you slowly reached to pull your headphones down to hang around your neck. "What'cha listening to?" He asked. He'd propped his arms flat on the seat, his chin laying on top of them. You opened your mouth, a beat of silence passing as you thought about what to say. You knew you were probably taking too long, but this was it! This was what you'd been hoping for! It was time to take the leap and you were already going to choke- You pushed away those thoughts and quickly said, "A mixtape." And Tommy gave you an easy smile and perked up at the answer. "Oh, cool," And you watched in half-horror, half-surprise as he moved to take the seat next to you. "So, did you record it yourself?" He asked, and you could only manage a short nod. "Can I listen?" He asked, and held his hand out for your set of headphones. You looked at his hand, then at him, and tried to think of how the hell you'd ended up in a conversation with him. Regardless, you quietly pulled your headphones off and offered them to him. He gave you a bright smile as he took them and put them on, nodding along to the beat of the song before he said, or half-yelled, "I like this band!" And you'd quickly shushed him. He made a face, realizing he must've been yelling, and pulled your headphones down to whisper, "I like this band!" With the same level of enthusiasm. And, even though you were nervous out of your wits, you found yourself smiling. He glanced down, noticing it, and before you could become embarrassed he was giving you one of his own. He held out his hand as he said, "I'm Tommy." And, despite the anxiety creeping in the back of your brain, you reached out and introduced yourself as well.

After that, Tommy acted like you'd been friends for years. You knew he was nice. He'd been one of the most popular boys in his grade, if not in all of Shadyside. You just didn't expect him to be nice to you. You weren't his crowd, and he wasn't yours. Before the bus, you weren't even sure the pair of you had even talked. But, if Tommy was one thing, he was easy to talk to. He was relaxed, chill, and an all around easy going dude. He never took anything too seriously, and yet he was still one of the most responsible of all the counselors.

Quickly, you found that he was saving you seats at lunch, asking you about anything you liked (whether it was movies, music, books, sports, whatever), and pairing off with you the second the counselors were told they needed to work in twos for chores, activities, etc. You didn't even need to ask him, or worry about finding someone. He could talk enough for the both of you, but he was also more than willing to listen.

You remembered the first time you ever really went off about something, Tommy had smiled the entire time. You'd been cleaning the mess hall, and he'd looked over at you and said a simple, "I think that's the most I've ever heard you speak." And you'd felt a blush and a pang of anxiety creep up. But, before the latter could take hold, Tommy had added, "It's cute. You're cute when you talk." And, you'd nearly knocked the bucket over

And after that, it didn't take long for Tommy to ask you out. You'd been surprised, and pretty much all of its synonyms. He'd asked you right outside your cabin one night, and you hadn't been able to say a word at first. He was quick to take your silence as rejection, and he started to say, "It's okay if you don't want to. We can still be friends, and-" And you'd forced yourself to speak. "No! No, um- Yes. Yes, I'd like to." And you watched as a relieved smile crossed over his face. He gently reached to hold your hands, giving them a squeeze as he said, "Tomorrow, then?" And you'd only been able to give him a nod as your mind tried to keep up with the fact that Tommy Slater had just asked you out on a date. You'd managed to request for a more secluded place, not in the middle of the mess hall or out on the docks where everyone would stare, and then you walked into your cabin as you reeled over what had just happened.

Tommy is really understanding about it. He can't necessarily relate, and he knows that, but he does everything in his power to make you more comfortable in social situations. He'll hold your hand to give something to ground you, get you something if you're too nervous to get up, and even speak up for you if you need him to. He'll even go to the lengths of getting your lunch for you and sitting outside the mess hall with you on the grass if it's too crowded. Hell, he might even publicly embarrass himself if it means you'll feel better

He'll keep the affection to a minimum if PDA makes you nervous, but he's a little worried at first about why you don't want to do it. When you explain that it's just because you don't want people to stare, he's completely understanding about it! Once he knows you have social anxiety, he does whatever he can to help make things easier for you. He's always there to make sure that you know that you're not alone and that you have someone there for you. He'll even try to help you face your fears a little and learn some coping mechanisms to make social situations easier!!

Overall, he's really understanding and a super sweet boyfriend :)

[deanandthephantoms]

Perfect Harmony Pt.1 - Reader x Charlie

Soo.. This is my first attempt at writing a story. This story is, in a very short summary gonna be about how the reader and Charlie Gillespie met, became best friends, drifted apart, and found each other again. Thank you @happinessinthedarkesttimes for giving me the idea to write this. I hope you’ll enjoy! This is chapter one of.. who knows how many, it might become a long one. Oh and all feedback is welcome :). You can read chapter 2 here and chapter 3 here !

Start of something new

When Y/N was 16 years old her mom thought it was a good idea to send her to a summer camp for teenagers to young adults. Now that may sounds like a fun thing, but Y/N was always very shy and very insecure at first, I guess that’s what 10 long years of being bullied on the regular does to a person.. As you can imagine going out and meeting a insanely large group of new people was a pretty terrifying thing to her. So when she was on her way in a bus to the summer camp surrounded by other camp-goers she was in full panic mode thinking things like; WHAT AM I DOING? I DON’T WANT TO GO! WHAT IF THEY’RE ALL GONNA BE MEAN TO ME?! there however was no turning back now.. Luckily it was only a week, she would survive.. Right?

When the bus arrived at her home for the coming week y/n was overwhelmed by the amount of people that were already there.  Luckily a camp staff member came up to her soon enough and told her she was placed into a smaller group with 8 other people from around her age. Still scary but focusing on meeting 8 new people sure was a lot less scary than having to meet at least 100 people all at once. The counselor also showed Y/N where her room for the week was.

When Y/N stepped into her bedroom for the week she saw 3 pairs of eyes looking at her. One of the girls jumped up from her bed and said; “Hey! I don’t think we’ve met yet? I’m Madison! That’s Savannah” she said while pointing towards the blonde girl sitting on one of the beds, Savannah gave you a smile and a small wave. “And that’s Jadah” she said while gesturing towards the girl making her bed. “hi!” Jadah said with a big smile. I took Madison’s held out hand and shook it. “Hey nice to meet you all.” You smiled shyly. “You’re right it’s my first time here so I haven’t really met anyone yet.. My name is Y/N by the way.” “ Nice to meet you too Y/N!”Madison said. “So since you’re sleeping in our room I bet that means you’re also in our group, right?” “Oh.. eh.. I’m not sure..?” “I replied. Is that usually how this works? Have you 3 been here before?” I asked while claiming my bed for the week. “Yeah!” They all said at the same time, sounding very excited. This time it was Savannah who continued to speak; “I’ve been coming here every summer since I was 13. That was also the year I met Madison and Jadah and the rest of our group, who you will meet soon enough. We actually have become really close friends over the years so we keep coming back here to see each other. You’re gonna love our group!” I smiled at her excitement. “I sure hope so.” “So.. Jadah began, how did you end up coming here?” “Honestly? I said, my mom thought it would be a brilliant idea to send me here, to meet some new people..” “You don’t sound very excited about it”Jadah noticed. “You picked up on that huh? You’re right..” I quickly explained to the girls that I’m very shy and insecure at first which makes meeting new people a hard and scary thing. They all nodded understandingly. “Hey, Madison said, we got you okay? no need to feel scared or anything.” The 3 girls smiled at me and for some reason I felt they meant it. “Thank you I said, that really does mean a lot. So.. while we’re on the topic of meeting new people, when will we be meeting the rest of our group?” I asked nervously. “In 30 minutes or so Madison replied, our first group activity starts at 3pm”.  “Group activity?” I asked with a nervous look on my face. Savannah laughed,”don’t worry they call it a activity but it’s basically just some time to meet everyone in your group and the leaders of your group.”  “oh, that doesn’t sound tooo bad” I replied, still feeling very nervous but at least I had those 3 girls who genuinely seemed nice.

3pm came sooner than I wanted and before I knew it Jadah was dragging me along to my first group activity. When we got there the rest of our group and our two older leaders we’re already there. Jadah sat me down next to this boy with brown hair and hazel eyes the boy greeted Jadah and gave me a smile. I soon would learn that his name was Charlie. He came to camp with two of his friends, Owen and Jeremy who were also in our group. Then there was this boy called Taylor and another girl called Tori and last but not least our leaders, a man called Ray, who seemed super chill and laid back and a woman named Rose who seemed to be the sweetest person. During that first time meeting everyone I actually started to feel more comfortable, they all seemed pretty nice. Maybe this week wouldn’t be so bad after all.. Soon after meeting your group it was time for dinner with the entire camp. Madison gestured for you to come sit with her, an invitation you happily accepted you had met enough new people for the day. During the dinner the head camp counselors asked for everybody’s attention. They introduced themselves to us and told us some crazy story about how we were gonna play ‘glow in the dark paintball’. Madison laughed at my confused face. “I hate to break the fun but this all just means we’re having a dropping later tonight. they try this every year. They try to prepare us for an intense, active night without actually saying they’re dropping us in the middle of nowhere.” She whispered to me. “Oohhh” I simply replied, actually feeling a bit disappointed.

-Later that night y/n found out Madison was right, the group and their two leaders got dropped in the middle of nowhere and as we speak were trying to find their way back “home”.- 

I found myself walking next to Charlie, he was chatting away about all kinds of things I learned all about his family and about his girlfriend who apparently was a staff member on this camp and he promised me, he would introduce me to her. I had to admit, I had the worst experience with boys I had kind of decided that I hated all of them, but this Charlie dude was very easy to talk to, he has this energy that just makes you feel at ease and the other boys seem very nice too.. Charlie ripped me away from my own thoughts, “Sooo Y/N what kind of music do you like? Please tell me you like music..” I couldn’t help but laugh, “If I like music? nah”. I left a short silence before continuing;  “I love music!” even though it was dark I could tell he smiled at that answer. “What kind of music is a hard question though. I literally listen to all kinds of things from rock to silly boybands.. I enjoy it all.” It was that moment a song of  the band Linkin park popped into my head and I softly started singing it “When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done. Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.” Realizing what I was doing I quickly shut up again. “Y/N, were you just singing a Linkin park song?” Charlie asked me. “Yeah..” I replied half ashamed, “they’re one of my favorite bands actually.” I said. “NO WAY!”He replied all excited. “I love them too!” And without any warning he continued singing the song I started singing. – this boy can sinnnng I thought to myself before joining him and singing along, it only took Owen, Jeremy and Taylor 5 seconds to join us and before I knew it we were walking through the woods at night just singing apparently this entire group really loved music and i was not complaining. After a good while of singing all kinds of songs we quieted down and just had many conversations about everything. And after a few hours of being lost we found our way back. Me and the girls wished the boys a goodnight which apparently goes along with a lot of hugs, this is where I learned Charlie gives the best hugs. They’re some of the tightest hugs I’ve ever had, but at the same time the most comfortable and save feeling ones as well.. I went to sleep as a happy girl that night, so glad all of those people were so nice to me I actually may have found myself some new good friends here.

When I stepped out of my room the next morning I saw Charlie talking to a girl. “Y/N!” He motioned for me to come over, so I did. “Morning Charlie” I said. “Good morning” he replied ,sounding a lot more alive than I felt. “I promised you I would introduce you to my girlfriend didn’t i? So Y/N this is Emma. Emma meet Y/N it’s her first time here and she’s part of our group now!” “Ohh,” Emma replied. “It’s so nice to meet you! I hope you’ll have a lovely time here” she smiled at me. “It’s nice to meet you too, Charlie has told me quite a bit about you” I told her with a smile. “Only good things I hope”, she said more to the boy than to me. “Anyway breakfast is about to start so I should go and meet my fellow staff members”. She gave Charlie a quick kiss and gave us a ‘I’ll see you soon’ before running off. “So that was Emma, she seems nice” I told Charlie. Charlie smiled, “She is! She came into my life when I was feeling very low. In some way she really saved me you know.” “Well I’m glad she did” I told him. I couldn’t imagine this happy, social, excited boy being depressed.. this Emma girl sure did something right.  “Yeah me too” Charlie replied, “should we go get some breakfast?” And before I could even say anything Charlie was already on his way.

The rest of the day was filled with playing games with our group against other groups. Not gonna lie, we were the worst we lost every single game but boy did we have fun. We were cheering each other on, Tori thought us some cheerleader dance, we were laughing at our own failure and singing random songs trough out the day. After dinner there was this thing called “Family time” which i learned, basically meant getting together with your own small group and talking about a more serious topic. Ray and Rose , our older leaders, were talking to us about believing in yourself and knowing that you’re good enough just the way you are. And while the others were saying things here and there, I was quiet. Veeery quiet. I never really believed in myself, all I had been hearing for 10 years is how ugly I was, how I failed at a most things, people laughed at me when I did something wrong, boys told me I didn’t deserve to be loved.. and i could go on..  I did not like myself at all and I sure didn’t think I was good enough for anything or anyone. Rose ended our night by reading us a little poem she wrote about how loved we were. As soon as we were allowed to go I walked off quickly I felt the tears burning in my eyes. I couldn’t cry, not in front of my new friends.. So I sat down in a somewhat hidden spot and just silently cried with my head in my hands.

After a minute or so I felt someone sit down beside me and putting an arm around my shoulder pulling me a little closer. Then I heard a voice ask me “Y/N are you okay? What’s wrong?” It was Charlie genuinely sounding concerned, he slowly rubbed my back trying to calm me down. This entire thing he did was new to me, I wasn’t used to people noticing something was wrong or asking me if I was doing okay and I was definitely not used to a boy comforting me. I-I , I began but the sobs made it impossible to speak. Charlie pulled me into a hug and kept telling me it was okay. After a few minutes of sobbing into his shirt I calmed down a bit and Charlie let go of me. I smiled at him with a tear stained face, “thank you for that and sorry about your shirt..” “don’t worry about it”he replied “Now do you wanna tell me what was wrong?” “ I uhh.. I guess I’m not really used to people telling me I’m loved or people telling me I’m good enough. I’m actually more used to the opposite of that.. so hearing those things just really overwhelmed me and apparently broke me..”I could see in Charlie’s face that he felt bad for me. “I’m so sorry”he said, “you’re such a cool person Y/N! We all happen to think that so you better believe it.” “Stop!” I said slapping his arm playfully “or you’ll make me cry all over again.” He laughed, “I’m sorry. But it’s true.” Not really knowing how to deal with that compliment I just smiled at him. Charlie continued ;” hey listen, if you.. you know ever need someone to talk to. I’m here okay?” “Thanks Charlie, that means a lot.” Charlie smiled at me and got up from the ground holding his hand out for me, “Come on. We’re gonna go back to the others, they were planning on playing some boardgames tonight. Are you in?”  “Yeah I’m in,” I replied while taking his hand he pulled me up from the ground. When me and Charlie got to our friends Madison Savannah and Jadah immediately stood up and pulled me in for a hug. “Are you okay?” Madi asked. “Yeah I am now. Thanks” I replied with a smile. “So I heard we were playing games I’m in!” I said changing the subject. “Heck yeah!” Sav replied “you’re on my team Y/N! we’re playing against the boys.” “ Alright, Let’s show ‘em what we got!” I replied. And so we ended the night on a very competitive but good note.

Part 2 // Part 3

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

I’m just going to adopt all side characters from J.K Rowling and Rick Riordan and make them mine.

Like yes Seamus and Dean are together and happily married.

So are Lavender and Parvati and they are awesome and have their own little shop with tea and tea leaves and all that stuff.

Blaise got a freaking vacation after having to deal with all the drama that he absolutely did not sign up for and when he comes back he’s really chill and it freaks everyone out at first but they get use to it. Just don’t get him angry, he will blow up at you.

All of them get therapy, I don’t care how old they are all these traumatized shits need therapy.

Next gen also gets therapy because it’s not easy.

James Sirius Potter is not a prankster but he does enjoy jokes and he has more of a dry humor.

Fred Weasley Junior is a prankster but he becomes a healer because he wants to make people laugh and heal them. His parents get really emotional over it and still call him their “baby boy”

Hugo Weasley adores reading but it’s mostly fictional and sci-fi and he gets them from muggle book shops. Ron ends up loving them and both will read a series together and argue (in a nice way) about whatever their reading and what they think will happen and stuff. He also gets diagnosed for adhd or something and that opens a whole new world for their family and their magical community.

Molly and Lucy are not twins and Molly is a squib. I read a fic about that but I can’t find it or remember who wrote it. She’s still a badass and adores who she is. Lucy has like mechanical leg but spells were created so that she can still fly on her broom and play quidditch.

Moving on because I can’t remember all of that right now

Drew is a bitch but she isn’t the worst person ever and after having a small breakdown everyone realizes that she’s still really hurt by Selina because that was her big sister who still betrayed her. Drew also can not paint her nails to save her life but she can walk in any heels without batting an eye and she’s tall, this is a tall girl who will wear heels without any shame and it’s the best thing ever.

Malcolm is the biggest nerd of all time. He knows everything about whatever he’s hyper fixed on but this boy can’t tell you anything about Greek mythology because he simply does not give a shit. Seriously, this dude can tell you everything about glue but he repeatedly mixes up gods and goddesses (it just got worse when he learned about Romans)

Clovis as we know travels through dreams and all that jazz, this dude when awake is the biggest gossip and no one (including him) actually knows if what he says is true because it’s from dreams. But he does give the great updates on celebrities and the younger campers love him because he’s the best story teller. He’s also lactose intolerant because I said so and he hates it with his entire soul and when he’s feeling petty he will eat an entire tub of ice cream even if he regrets it later.

Mitchell (son of Aphrodite) cares about what others think of him but he’s also really kind and while he won’t always stand up for himself he will absolutely destroy someone if they say anything about his siblings (and aren’t one of his siblings. Only his siblings can make fun of each other) and at some point he decides to change his entire bed and colors. Like this dude says screw social gender norms and now the cabin is this beautiful disaster and all of them love it. He also once shaved his entire head after one of his siblings got their eyebrows burned off.

After the wars Jake Mason is completely done with everyone’s bullshit. This boy is tired and he have zero fucks left to give. He’s unhinged and is chaotic lawful. He always has an energy drink in one hand and while he respects and listens to the camp counselor and Chiron he once climbed on top of his cabins table at lunch and sat in the middle while eating some sort of candy that he refuses to share.

Travis Stoll and Connor Stoll are not twins. Connor is trans and gay and Travis is bi and cis. Connor is literally one of the smartest people in camp and he had a small side business where he does homework for others (even over iris message) for some stuff in return. He and Annabeth are great friends and scare everyone when the team up. Travis changes a bit in college, it’s been so long since he didn’t have to constantly take care of other campers and younger siblings and at first he has no idea what to do. He’s literally the definition of disaster college student that has no idea how he’s passing class but he is. He’s also great friends with Annabeth but not as close to her as Connor. But the three of them absolutely consider each other siblings since they grew up together and with Luke as their older brother who hurt them.

That’s all for now!

[theuntamednarrator]

Thank you @mika--82​ for the question! I’m sorry it took so long but since I really enjoyed plotting out my Cangse Sanren lives au, and I think a lot about the women in The Untamed who didn't get to see their children grow up, strap in for round two of TB Revives the Mothers of the Untamed. This week's episode: Save Mama Lan by killing Lan Qiren \^.^/

(Many thanks to @drwcn​ for letting me borrow her hc names for Mama Lan (Qui Baiti) and Papa Lan (Lan Cenrong). You can read more about them on her blog here and here.)

(Warning for an unsuccessful suicide attempt)

QBT has been isolated in the Jingshi for a decade. She only sees her sons once a month, she isn’t allowed her sword, and her spiritual power is kept sealed

But LWJ inherited his stubbornness from his mum and she's determined to escape, one way or another

LQR is walking by the Jingshi when he feels a massive surge of energy and breaks his first ever Discipline (no running in Cloud Recesses)

He wrenches the Jingshi door open and sees an array that wouldn't look out of place two decades in the future in an alternate universe in a dingy shed behind Mo Manor

LQR breaks his second Discipline in as many minutes (do not make excessive noise) when he screams for his brother before he grabs QBT and drags her out of the array

LQR didn't have time to think, let alone study what the effects of that might be, all he knew was that it was killing her, and that her death would kill the brother he loves more than anything else

The backlash strikes him and he keels over

QBT gathers him up, sobbing and asking why he did it, she wanted to die, why did you do it Lan-er-gongzi? what were you thinking? Your brother loves you

LQR meets his brother’s eyes as he appears over her shoulder, the terrified disciples flanking him a white blur

He smiles and says I know

Curtains on LQR

(alternatively, we can just kill JGS again because ngl that was real satisfying the first time around)

Now the Elders are in a pickle because this may have been an accident but QBT has now been responsible for the deaths of an Elder and Second Young Master Lan

It's decided that the only option is exile

QBT is forbidden from setting foot in Cloud Recesses and the territories of Gusu Lan for ten year and forbidden from speaking to any Lan disciple during that time

She bows, accepts back the plain sword she had yielded when she came through the gates to be married, and is gone before the dawn. LCR watches her leave and then goes to wake their sons

Now, QBT was a wandering cultivator long before she was Lan-furen and actually really enjoys returning to life on the road

I wandered once! I can do it again!

Five years later she meets XXC battling a ferocious demon snake and together they defeat it

QBT definitely doesn’t feel her heart beat a little faster at the youthful face, white robes, and elegant jade-and-silver sword

She answers XXC's graceful bow with one of her own and the two spend a week clearing out the fierce nests of demons on the mountain

The next time their wandering brings them together she is introduced to my good friend Song Lan and hides her smile in her sleeve

Meanwhile in Cloud Recesses without LQR to pick up the slack LCR is forced to step out of seclusion and actually run his sect and parent his children

He does a very good job

QBT has to fight back proud tears every time she hears Twin Jades of Lan spoken of with awe

Ten years to the day of her exile QBT is grinning as she climbs the long flights of stairs towards the gates of Cloud Recesses

Part of that might be the entertaining company she walks with

A young man clutching two bottles of Emperor's Smile and talking so fast she’s only half listening while she tries to figure out if he’s actually taken a breath since introducing himself

Talking at breakneck speed of the young master who had been so strict with him at the gates, aiya Auntie! He was so cold! you should have seen his stony face

QBT only grins harder as WWX climbs the wall, is challenged, and blades flash over tiles (it might bring back fond memories of her own youth)

She slips over the wall while they are distracted and once WWX is silenced she reaches out her hand

You handle your sword beautifully, may I?

LWJ can't even say why - it's too dark to see her face and the voice is roughened after 10 years on the road - but he hands Bichen over without a second thought

She sighs as she runs a finger over the blade and the steel glows, lighting up her face (solely because I think glowy Bichen is very sexy and we should have had more of it in the drama honestly)

Bichen suits you better than it ever suited me, ZhanZhan 

LWJ is emoting all over the place (so embarrassing)

(luckily his back is to WWX because if baby disaster bi WWX saw that smile he would've died on the spot)

WWX of course is still a troublemaking rule breaker and LWJ is still charged with overseeing his punishment

QBT and LXC are united in their LWJ should make friends agenda and LXC inherited his sense of humour and delight for teasing LWJ from QBT

Between the two of them LWJ soon has more friends than he knows what to do with

QBT and LXC co-captain the good ship Wangxian

Of course plot stuff still happens including accidental-marriage-before-a-Quest-Ghost

XXC and SL meet them in Yueyang and when LWJ introduces himself they're thrilled because hey we know your mum! she’s real cool!

They don't trust the clans and they might've heard of NMJ but they know Qui-jiejie and they trust her and so they decide XY will go to Cloud Recesses for judgement

N-wow the twin jades are really deserving of their reputations-HS insists on a Qinghe representative going too

oh me? no no Wei-xiong this has been quite enough adventure for me. Meng Yao you'll go won't you? Dage trusts you and Lan-gongzi admired your *delicate cough* capability *innocent smile*

my.blush.com/embarrassed/yearning agrees

QBT is delighted to see XXC and SL again and happily introduces them to her elder son

SL and LXC almost immediately get into a heated debate over ahistorical fantasy chinese philosophy and/or politics and are instantly bonded

QBT may or may not have instigated said debate with a well-timed quote from a well-known (re: divisive) text

Basically QBT shares my get LXC more friends agenda

SL is, again, the first person (apart from LXC and his parents) to laugh at LWJ's jokes

WWX still refuses to believe this actually happened (the joke and SL laughing) (XXC swears it’s true)

XY is locked in the back hills and eventually a) dies trying to use his hidden piece of the yin iron to break the seals OR b) is rehabilitated by the power of bunnies and become an outer disciple (reader's choice!)

XXC and SL accompany WWX and JC part of the way to Lotus Pier

Cloud Recesses is attacked, QBT and LCR send LXC and MY away with the sacred texts, MY promising he knows somewhere safe to hide

LWJ refuses to leave his parents. The losses are not as bad as in canon, the Wen are beaten back, but LCR and LWJ are both injured

No Good Very Bad Summer Camp with World's Worst Head Counselor WC

No Good Very Bad Turtle Cave of Love

WWX wakes post-rescue with LWJ still there

(Because his parents are holding Cloud Recesses and he knows LXC is safe so he doesn't need to rush off)

JZX, JC, LWJ, and WWX spend a day planning before they split up

(this is hilarious and JC says "fuck" not less than 219 times)

(WWX only almost punches JZX and it only happens twice honestly people should be grateful! he was so restrained!!)

They all return home, LWJ promising to bring reinforcements from Cloud Recesses to Lotus Pier (because it's the most obvious next target. no other reason. just. strategically it makes sense)

WQ sends WN to Lotus Pier to warn WWX when WZL's forces are on their way

When the Wen attack, they're met with a prepared force of 1) YZY and the Jiang Disciples 2) QBT, LWJ, and a contingent of Lan Disciples AND 3) JC and WWX and a gaggle of archers (seriously why tf show the Jiang being so good and then only give us two archery fight scene moments and it’s heart breaking sixth young master jiang dying and some rando ouyang disciple shooting WWX?)

Things get a little hairy but between YZY and QBT they defeat WZL and the rest of the Wen quickly surrender

JFM and JYL arrive just as the battle is ending, escorted by Madam Jin, JZX, LQY, and all the Jin Disciples who were at Cloud Recesses

(WWX: MianMian you came you must have been so worried about me! LQY, ignoring him: Lan-er-gongzi are you okay? WWX: ah Lan Zhan you MianMian really likes you! that’s lucky! LWJ, screaming internally: mn)

(JGS was furious when JZX announced he was joining the campaign but what could he possibly say in front of his battle ready wife without looking like the utter coward of a wet biscuit he is)

Once again WWX is left with a screaming sword, too much curiosity, and too much time on his hands (due to his adopted family being not-dead)

But worse he has now also access to a woman who created an array powerful enough to kill even with her spiritual power sealed

Poor WRH doesn't stand a chance, even without MY spying for the Sunshot Campaign

After the battle QBT&LCR and YZY&JFM shut JGS's bullshit power grab down real quick and JGS sulks like the baby he is (probably in a brothel) while Madam Jin and JZX take over Lanling Jin

JZX hears about MY and the way he helped LXC and NMJ sends a letter of support and JZX is already quite jealous of all these sibling bonds and welcomes Ziyao with open arms

(All of which goes slightly to waste when JZY marries out to the Lan clan slightly less than a year later but hey, at least it's a good alliance.)

WQ takes over the Wen Clan but tears down Nightless City and relocates the capital to Dafan

(WQ: have you been to Nightless City? It’s built on an active volcano. Do you know how bad sulfur ash is for open wounds? Do you know what medical herbs grow in lava slurry? None is the answer. My family are all fucking morons)

(WQ: Not you a-Ning you’re a delight and we’re thrilled you’re here)

Rumour has it a certain immortal was so impressed with the stories of the medical techniques of Dafan Wen that she paid WQ a visit

(Disciples are so reckless after all! One never knows when one might need to be capable of transplanting vital organs!)

Each year WWX and LWJ spend 3 months at Gusu, 3 months at Lotus Pier, and 6 months wandering with XXC and SL

They get "fake married" no less than four times in three years (for the investigation xiongzhang! absolutely no other reason shishu! no other reason at all!) before LXC, MY, XXC, and SL get fed up and barricade them in their room until they talk to each other dammit

(LXC is very grateful MY has gotten so handy with the silencing talismans because the 'conversation' gets uncomfortably loud real quick)

Side note to say Clarity works very well to avert a qi deviation when it's not being actively corrupted, thanks very much, and NMJ lives many, many, many years which would be entirely happy if only NHS would pick up his saber once in a while

He would tell NHS this if he could ever find him

Happy ending!³

[older-brother-kit]

TSMC ch. 3

I’m back with chapter 3! In this chapter: Everything goes horribly wrong, but something good comes out of it. Or does it...?

Here’s chapter 1 on AO3 and on tumblr, here’s chapter 2 on AO3 and on tumblr, and here is this chapter on AO3! Let me know by comment, reblog, or tags if you want to be added to the tag list for this story, and please let me know what you thought because I really appreciate it!!

The Sibling Matchmakers Club 

Chapter 3: By the Angel

Mina was happy to say that she was enjoying her time at camp. After two weeks she’d made a great friend, figured out she was good at soccer, learned how to do origami, and started a prank war. 

Ah, right. The prank war. Now Mina enjoyed pranks as much as the next person -ok, maybe a little bit more, and she would blame Kit for that- but Lucie and James had made it a little too personal. Mina had arranged the first prank because she thought they’d all be able to laugh about it and become better friends afterwards, but instead James and Lucie had gotten fired up and started fighting for real. At this point, it had gotten way out of Mina’s control.

Not that she had tried stopping it in the first place. While she’d tried talking with James and Lucie separately about how they could prank each other and still be friends, neither of them had wanted to listen. Mina quickly gave up, but decided that it wouldn’t stop her from having fun and helping Lucie out. 

Though for once, Mina wasn’t doing a prank. Today was Saturday, and every Saturday the kids got to call their family back home. Mina actually owned a cell phone, a small model that her dad had been very hesitant to give her. He had thought she was too young for one for the longest time, but had rethought it after an incident where she got lost at the mall and couldn’t find him. Kit had promised to make sure Mina wouldn’t have any bad social media or weird apps if she got one, and so Mina was given the phone a week before heading out to Camp Clover. The camp’s policy was no electronics though, so Mina hadn’t used it much. Even before camp, she really only used it for calling her family and her friend Tavvy.

On Saturdays, she used it to call her dad. Jem always made sure to make time to answer Mina’s call, and Kit usually liked to make loud comments in the background. At the end, they’d both tell her they missed her and say I love you and their goodbyes. Mina was having a lot of fun with Lucie and James and the Lightwoods, but she looked forward to Saturdays the most.

Mina was startled when the phone in her hand started to ring before she even pressed the call button. It was usually her dad who called, but this time it was Kit’s name and picture that flashed across the screen. “Hello?” 

“Min-Min!” Kit’s voice rang loud and clear, and Mina smiled widely without even thinking about it. “I thought I’d try to catch you before you called Dad, since you usually call around this time.” His voice lost some of its energy, and she could picture the strained look on his face. “There was an emergency at the hospital and he couldn’t leave, so he can’t call today Mina. I’m sorry.”

Mina sighed, her smile quickly fading. Her dad loved them both and always tried to make time to spend with his children, but she knew that being a doctor was a demanding job and he couldn’t always be there. Growing up, they were often babysat by different family friends until Kit was old enough to look after them both on his own. 

“It’s ok,” Mina said, telling herself that at least she got to talk with her brother. “I’m happy I can still talk to you.”

There was a slight pause, and when Kit spoke she could tell he was smiling. “A smooth talker as always, Mina. So, how’s that prank war going? Did you and Lucie finally win?”

Mina perked up, and spent the next few minutes recounting her most recent successes and failures. Recently they had managed to get help and put the boys’ beds outside of their cabin, but then they had snuck a whole handful of fake spiders into Mina and Lucie’s beds. Grace and Paige hadn’t been very happy about Mina and Lucie’s sudden screams, and neither did the other side of the cabin. Mina had a feeling they were slowly getting fed up with the prank war going on, but Mina had no plans to stop anytime soon. If there was anything her dad had taught her, it was to not give up.

If there was anything Kit had taught her, it was that when it came to pranks you had to start small and work your way up to the big stuff. For Mina, the big stuff was only just beginning.

“We already have our next prank planned out,” she told Kit proudly. “It’ll be like the first prank we did, but better. There’s going to be maple syrup and-”

Mina’s cabin counselor Jessamine, who had been standing at the corner supervising the phone call, gave her a look.

Mina cleared her throat. “I mean, nothing. We’re not going to do any pranks or anything with maple syrup, because that would be bad.” She heard Kit snort.

The counselor sighed and checked her watch. “Hurry it up,” she said, nodding to the door. “The lunch bell is going to ring soon.”

“Sorry, I’ll have to end the call soon.” Mina said. “How is Dad doing?”

Kit sighed. “He’s still overworking himself at the hospital, so basically what he’s been doing since you went to camp. Then of course there’s that horrible-” Kit gasped suddenly. “Mina,” he whispered in a low tone. “You have no idea, I totally forgot he hasn’t told you yet. I know he wanted to wait to tell you in person, but you have to know. There’s this woman named-”

The lunch bell rang, and Mina heard shouts from outside her cabin about how excited they were for today’s lunch. Apparently, today they had hotdogs and hamburgers. Mina jumped up from where she had been leaning against the wall.

“I have to go!” She interrupted, and felt a little bad about it, but it was hotdogs and hamburgers today. Plus, Lucie and Mina had to finish eating early in order for today’s prank to work. There was no way she could be late. “It’s lunchtime, sorry. Bye, love you!”

“Wait, Mina-” Kit’s voice cut off as Mina quickly hung up the phone before handing it to Jessamine and rushing out the door. Normally she’d try to find Lucie first, but she bet that Lucie was already on her way to the dining hall. 

Kit had mentioned a woman. Her dad had actually talked about someone that he wanted Mina to meet when she got back to camp, but Mina hadn’t known it was a lady. It was probably normal for Mina to be worried, to think that maybe her dad was seeing someone, but that was silly.

Mina’s dad never dated, so Mina wasn’t concerned at all. As she ran to the dining hall and caught sight of Lucie, her spirits only lifted. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

“We have to finish quickly,” Lucie told Mina quietly, slathering ketchup on her hotdog. She ignored Mina trying to hide her wince at the amount. The dining hall had been mostly out of ketchup, but they’d gotten there early enough for Lucie to snatch some off of the other tables undetected. “You said yourself that the key for the prank was time.” 

Mina nodded silently, having just taken a bite of her hamburger. She swallowed and coughed for a second before taking a sip of her apple juice. “I might be eating too fast.” she said sheepishly. “Though as long as we finish before James and Thomas and Christopher get here, we’re fine.”

The two of them ate at a faster pace than usual so that they could get back to their cabin and prepare their prank, though Lucie noticed that she didn’t see James or the Lightwoods anywhere. They’re just late, Lucie thought. Christopher probably exploded something again and they’re cleaning it up. Christopher Lightwood might be a genius, but his experiments often caused something to catch on fire. 

Mina stood up with her empty plate, and Lucie did the same. The two of them grinned at each other in excitement as they put their plates onto the dirty dishes cart and walked out of the dining hall.

“You remember the plan?” Mina asked, and Lucie gave an enthusiastic nod. 

They were going to sneak into the boys’ cabin while they were still eating lunch, and cover their entire side with maple syrup and mustard. An odd combination, but today at lunch Lucie had remembered that James hated mustard. Mina had thought it was a brilliant addition, and a step up from only using the maple syrup Mina had taken at breakfast. If any of the food workers noticed their disappearances, they didn’t say anything.

“Lucie,” Mina said suddenly, and Lucie snapped out of her thoughts to look at her. 

“What?” she asked, and Mina pointed to their cabin where Grace and Paige were about to enter. “What, that they’re here? You know they like to wait and have lunch later.”

Mina quickly shook her head. “The bushes,” she said hurriedly. “Do you see them?”

Lucie looked at the bushes next to their cabin and her face paled. “Oh no,” she whispered, and both she and Lucie started running to the door.

James and the Lightwoods were sitting in the bushes, mostly hidden by the thick leaves. They didn’t seem to notice Grace and Paige’s approach.

“Wait!” Lucie called out to the two girls. “Hey, wait a second!” They ignored her, as per usual.

James glanced over, and his eyes widened as he saw Grace grab the door handle. He quickly jumped out of his hiding spot and reached towards her. “Hey, don’t open-”

It was too late. Grace opened the door and her and Paige walked through. For a split second Lucie thought that maybe nothing bad would happen after all, but the second ended quickly. A huge bucket full of a thick, red substance, tipped over and onto both girls’ heads. Lucie, Mina, and James looked at each other in horror. There had been an unspoken agreement not to get the others into it, and now they had gotten the worst people possible involved.

Grace and Paige screamed, and James immediately ran up to them. “I’m so sorry,” he said frantically, trying to wipe some of the substance out of Grace’s hair. He just smeared it in more. “I am so sorry, please don’t tell on us.”

Thomas and Christopher stumbled out of the bush, their faces shocked as they surveyed the scene. “Do you think they like ketchup?” Christopher pondered. 

So that’s why the dining hall was out of ketchup, Lucie thought, and had the urge to laugh. 

“Hey!” a voice yelled, and Lucie turned around to see her camp counselor storming over to them. “What happened here?!” Jessamine demanded. 

James looked terrified. “Uh, I-” he stuttered. “It’s not what it looks like, we were just-”

“Just what?” Jessamine spit out. “Look at what you’ve done!” she gestured to Grace and Paige. Paige was bawling her eyes out, and Grace was glaring at them all with an intense hatred that made Lucie unconsciously take a step back.

“We didn’t mean to,” Lucie spoke up, feeling brave. She and Mina were the ones who started the prank war, after all. It wasn’t fair for James to be the only one yelled at, even if his prank was the one that got them caught. “We were just trying to have some fun.”

Jessamine turned to look at her. “Oh, I know all about your fun.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, and Lucie exchanged nervous glances with Mina. James tried to help Grace get the ketchup off again, but she slapped his hand away and he stepped back. “We’ve all been letting it slide because it wasn’t hurting anyone and you always cleaned up your own messes, but this has gone too far.” 

“But-” Mina tried.

“Save it,” her counselor said, then her gaze moved to the three boys. “Now which one of you did this?”

There was a short moment of silence before James raised his hand. “Me,” he said. “I planned it and set it all up.”

“Hey, wait a minute!” Thomas protested. James gave him a look, and Thomas stopped talking.

“I did all of them myself, all of the pranks,” James announced. “Christopher and Thomas were just here to watch.”

Jessamine sighed. “Come on, then,” she said as she started to walk in the direction of the main building. She stopped to look at Lucie and Mina. “You too. All three of you are in trouble.”

Lucie slowly started to walk with them. “This isn’t good,” she mumbled to herself. This wasn’t good at all. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

All James wanted was for them not to call his mom. Please, he thought, as he imagined the disappointment in her voice. Anything but that.

The three of them were now being led to an older cabin that was a ways off from the main cabin area, having stopped the main building and then their own cabins to get all of their stuff first. Thomas had looked guilty and both he and Christopher had apologized, but James had told them it was ok. James wasn’t looking forward to the punishment, but he was happy that he was at least able to save his friends from getting trouble.

James looked at the girls nervously. Originally they had tried to avoid talking to him, but Lucie had quickly given up and started making comments under her breath to them both.

“Is she taking us to an abandoned cabin to kill us?” Lucie whispered, kicking at some grass.

“No,” James argued quietly. “Our parents would never let them.”

Mina frowned and adjusted her ponytail. “She wouldn’t do that in the first place,” she said, but James saw her put her hands behind her back to hide the fidgeting. 

“Alright!” Jessamine announced, stopping as they reached the front door. “I discussed it with the other counselors, and your punishment is to stay here for the next week.”

“Here?” Mina asked, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. “I mean, isn’t it too old? What if it collapses or something?”

“It won’t,” the counselor said confidently, but Mina didn’t look satisfied. “The three of you are going to stay here all week, only coming out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

Lucie gasped. “We can’t stay in here all week, what are we supposed to do for fun?”

Jessamine gave her a look. “Talk to each other without fighting or pranking each other, maybe? Just a thought.”

“Hold on,” James said slowly, processing her words. “All three of us?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. All three of you, together, with only each other for company.” She paused, as to let the information sink in. “Well, you better get inside and start putting your things away! A counselor will come to escort you to dinner once the time comes, but other than that you shouldn’t be leaving the cabin.” 

“But-”

“No buts!” The three of them were pushed inside the old cabin, and the door creaked as it shut in their faces. 

James looked around at the inside of their living space for the week, frowning at all the dust. “This place looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in a year.”

Lucie sighed and walked over to the right bunk bed, flopping herself down dramatically on the bottom bunk. She didn’t seem to mind the dust getting onto her clothes. 

“Probably because it hasn’t.” Mina pointed out, and sat next to Lucie. James sat down on the bottom bunk of the left bunk bed, making sure to wipe off the dust first. 

“I guess we should start putting things away,” he muttered glumly. 

Mina looked around the cabin and fiddled with her shirt again. “You don’t… You don’t think this place is haunted, do you?” she asked in a small voice. 

With the way they’d been fighting recently, James would’ve normally made a joke or snarky comment, but Mina looked genuinely scared. He found that he couldn’t help but want to make her feel better.

“It’s ok,” James assured her. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s definitely not haunted.”

Mina gave him a nervous smile, and they all started unpacking their things. Once James had his bedsheets on and his clothes put away into the tallest drawers, he sat on his bed to take a break.

He turned to Mina, who had finished putting away her things first and was now watching Lucie struggle to fit all of her clothes in her designated drawers. “Hey,” James said, and Mina looked up. “Why did you start the pranks, anyway? Wasn’t it you that had the idea?” At this point he wasn’t mad, just curious.

“Yup, it was me,” Mina said proudly. “My older brother likes pranks, so I already knew a few and what to do for them.” She paused and then stood up suddenly, her face bright. “Oh wait, I have a picture of him I can show you!”

James leaned forward in interest as Mina picked up her bag then sat back down and began to dig through it. Lucie had given up messing with her clothes and moved to join Mina on the bed. 

“Aha!” Mina exclaimed, and she pulled out a picture and showed it to Lucie. She gestured at James to join them, and he carefully walked over and sat down next to them on the bed. 

Mina handed the picture to him. There was a teenage boy with bright blond hair and light blue eyes smiling at the camera. “That’s Kit,” Mina said. “His full first name is actually Christopher, but no one ever calls him that.” Kit was sitting next to Mina by a big pool, and they were both smiling without a care in the world. 

“I wish I had an older brother,” Lucie said wistfully, and James nodded in agreement. He wished that he had an older brother, but really he just wished he had any sibling at all.

“My dad took the picture, that’s why he’s not in it.” Mina explained. “I don’t think I have --oh wait, I do!” She went back to her bag, and after a minute took out another picture. 

It was a strange picture. The ink was messed up a bit in places and it seemed a little old, but the weirdest thing about it was that it was ripped on one side. Ripped on one side, James thought, and an idea popped into his head. He rejected it immediately. No, that would be crazy.

“It’s him on his wedding day,” Mina said, and turned the picture over so they could see. The man himself didn’t look familiar, but the flower bushes in the background did. 

There’s no way, James told himself. It has to be a coincidence. 

Lucie was suspiciously quiet, and James turned to face her. “Mina,” she said, her face oddly serious. “Do you… Do you know who your other parent is?”

Mina looked surprised at the question. “No,” she said. “My dad never wanted to tell me. Look, he even ripped them out of the picture.”

“Huh,” Lucie said, looking like she was about to faint. “Mina, I have that same picture, but of my papa and ripped on the other side.”

“What?” James asked incredulously, his heart beating in his chest. “But that’s- I have the same picture but of my mom and ripped on both sides!”

Mina and Lucie looked at him and each other for a moment, and he knew his face must be mirroring theirs of shock.

“I have it!” Lucie suddenly shouted, then lowered her voice and looked at them. “I have the picture,” she blurted out, and dove for her bag.

“There’s no way,” James breathed as he reached to grab his own bag from his bed. “It can’t be!”

He and Lucie hastily pulled out their own pictures, holding them close to their chest. “On three?” Mina suggested quietly, her eyes filled with excitement and something that James thought might be hope. She put her picture down gently on the bed, face up. 

“One.”

“Two…”

“Three!”

James and Lucie slammed their pictures down next to Mina’s, and James felt like bursting into tears.

The pictures fit together perfectly, like pieces of the most finely crafted puzzle. James’s mom was there in her wedding gown, two handsome men in suits standing next to her and on each arm. All three of the adults were grinning, and they all had on the same ring.

“By the angel,” Lucie whispered, and James didn’t even question the odd saying that he’d previously thought was something only he and his mother said.

“Are we siblings?” James asked, and he pinched himself just in case this was all a dream so that he could wake up. It didn’t work.

“This is impossible!” Mina said, putting a hand on her forehead. “I’m so confused.”

As James looked at how neatly the pictures all combined into one, he couldn’t help but agree.

---------------

Thank you reading, let me know if you enjoyed!

Tag List: @idontgetit-whydoihavetosaymyname @zafirafox4636 @nolu @ghostjessesgirl @girlwhohatesstuff @anxiousbookenthusiast @ineedadrinkorsleep @lucieblckthorn @themostawesomehuman @hands-dripping-ink @panicatwallmaria @immortal-enemies @booklovingelephants @bookishgeekygirl @thenameskarr-parkerkarr @livia-dovehallow @cortqnq @christophers-lemon-tarts

[thudthud]

the hunger of colonization

I transport the account of colonizer on my skin, The karma of my ancestors, a vicious quantity left by the need to win Every mis step taken is another memory within my brain My ancestors did nought for creation… in fact they were quite vain There is nothing I can do about altering the past All I can do is put in sufficient exertion to make the change of energy last My grandpa used to say, “ There are good Indians and bad”* HOWEVER, It was on their backs that I’ve received everything I’ve ever had.

Whenever these words were spoken I would shut my ears off from it pretend I was in my happy place and acquit them from all judgment. I know now that doing that wasn’t the right decision That I should have made standing with my friends my one and only mission. The speeches they expressed around me never rested well in my stomach I could see all the privilege I’ve been provided from it. You may look at me…. and ask what backs behind me I see.

I see Grandmas and Aunts. Uncles and Dads. Babies, friends and some very injured lads. I see their home and land being given to people because of the color of skin they had. I know what it feels like to have your home ripped from you. To only be able to look at a distance as your home is used without you. Being told you were never welcome in the first place That you need to leave so someone ‘better’ can take your space. The words that left my mouth much were, “WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?” “DID I NOT TRY TO TO EVERYTHING YOU ASKED, HAVE I NOT BEEN STRONG?”

When I opted to make my life about making things better, I ungracefully untied knots that had always been together. Knots within myself and the people around me. Knots within the very constructs of society. a lot of those knots never parted whatsoever, A lot of the people thought their remarks were quite clever. They really weren’t clever in the slightest. A lot of their views were incredibly rightest. The year right now is twenty one years past the millennium, I still have aunts that worked and slapped kids in gymnasiums. They hide under their veils and hoards of cloth. Sitting around tables together to scoff I know this to be true because I’ve seen it with my own eyes, Resting over tables and telling each other lies.

The color of your skin should not dictate your worth. Certain things should not be a guarantee from birth. The path forward is curvy and long The start of it wasn’t marked with the bang of the gong For a lot of us this will be our lifelong matter I really hope that at some point we can all work together.

My skin is pale and white. but please understand I am still trying to do what is right. There is no way in the world I could ever fully comprehend, Id like to help with anything to try and make amends Saying sorry does nothing at all, It’s the actions that go with them that allow a person to stand tall. If you filled a room with my family you’d see Half of them are bending backwards screaming like Banshee’s Their screams fill the room with darkness and hate. Their ideas and opinions have become stagnate. Its time now to hear the voices of those who were hurt For me and my people to help them burn down the church.

This system was built on all of their blood and sweat changing from residential schools to foster homes with very little and yet Many middle fingers are still raised high Justin Trudeau are we allowed to ask why? Why was there an “Indian problem”** to be fixed? Why is there so much internal trauma that’s so deep and all mixed? People in these positions of power doing the same over again despite the people getting louder

If the ancient Greeks travelled here to see democracy in action they’d cry kneel to the ground and Throw their hands to the sky “Why doesn’t everyone have a voice” “We invented democracy so people would have a real choice” If I had a child in the world today, I would be so wary of the words people use around and say. How big a deal it is to raise our babies into Earth Warriors, never knowing pain and only being filled with wonder. Full disclosure? I have no idea what I am doing all I know is I need to get behind what is brewing. This us and them has gone on forever you’d think after a few hundred years we would have gotten much better.

I read columbus’s*** journals in my first year of university, A book wrapped in hate and providing much clarity. “These people are beautiful” he wrote in his journal “They would make excellent slaves” he said and I hurled This journal entry has impacted the lives of you and me These journal entries shaped our entire society.

At one point in time, I was racist and all of my views were undeniably baseless. I some times remember those views in the back of my mind how can people who speak those thoughts ever think they are kind? We need to tell people to stop spewing inappropriate garbage Stop looking at all these people as targets and listening to their knowledge There’s a man in my town who stands on a box with a mic His speakers being over used with too much force and might Babies and kids walk past him with their mothers. Hearing from him that God hates their sisters and brothers. Freedom of speech only goes to far Human rights need to not be seen as bizarre I come from the settlers of this land coming here being promised something very grand When I walk on the sidewalk people clear the space for me If only they knew for them id take a knee. I am starting to understand what it can feel like to be hyper aware of your skin. To not feel totally comfortable in any space that you are in. I have friends who are both one and the other. Getting blamed by both communities for not being another The internal struggle they wake up daily with is something we need to start understanding. That being part of both communities should be something rewarding.

I used to be a day camp counselor, getting to work with amazing kids every summer. One week a child came in my care, being sent with a rap sheet I was hyper aware. The week started just like any other, telling the kids the rules and to get along with one another. He sat separate from most of the children, asking every ten minutes to go to the washroom. After the second day I pulled him aside to just talk we ended up on the forest path outside and walked The child was going to the washroom you see To wash his hands it was not to pee. “I do it every ten minutes, because out of all the kids I am certainly the dirtiest” He showed me his beautifully tanned skin and he sighed feeling like all of himself was something to hide. Tears filled my eyes and started to fall, I didn’t think anything I had to say would have any pull at all. this sweet baby in front of me was hurting so much it was a crime To make an innocent child believe they are covered in slime. “Baby boy I am going to tell you this once and very clear, there is nothing wrong with your skin at all my dear. You are a child unlike any other, being blamed for the anger and called a great bother. I see you my child I see you so clear You are so beautiful this breaks my heart and fills it with fear I worry that someone else is going to say something like this to you and that you will try to mend the cracks yourself with nasty unfit views. When you stand in the pond out back of the center, the tadpoles come to you like you’re an energy center. The bees fly around you with so much glee, I know no other person who has bees sleep on their knees” We really need to get into everyone’s minds that being racist isn’t cool and all of that knowledge hand off starts within our schools If I had been educated properly maybe getting thrown into it wouldn’t be so bewildering That colonization hasn’t done much good for the world, its sent us all spinning. When I was growing up I was told there are three sides to every story. That the truth was hidden somewhere in the middle of all the hate and swearing. I think if we all just sat down and centered with the earth once a day. We would all pay more mind to what these people say. *This sentence isn’t appropriate and is incredibly wrong. I loved my Grandpa very much but his views weren’t right.

**Duncan Campell Scott said this in parliament quite a few years before Hitler announced that Germany “Has to fix the Jew problem” This is genocidal speech.

***we do not capitalize the names of those who do not matter.

By Thudthud

[traumatized-motherfuckers]

CPTSD relationship patterns on repeat

Listen wherever you stream, search “complex trauma” and subscribe. Or, find episodes, blog posts, and a private support community at t-mfrs.com

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Things I’ve gotten good at throughout this Trauma journey:

Seeing connections between where I’m from and where I am

Thinking for the first time about where I’m going

Letting myself have emotions

Letting those emotions go

Redirecting my energy and attention away from ruminating

Being accountable for my own feelings

Being accountable for times of being a shithead

Listening and validating other humans

Listening and validating myself

Recognizing what circumstances do/don’t work for me

Realizing how my codependency plays with relationships

Letting go of self-hate inner critic talk

Reframing events with reasonable views

Accepting myself, even when I first want to thrash myself

Semi-consistently caring for myself

Setting realistic boundaries and goals

Sleeping

Things I’m still shitty at:

Letting my overwhelm skew reality

Anxious self-slave-driving

Being a snarky turd when my head is overloaded

Taking on other people’s energies and emotions

Trusting myself in all areas of life

Forming healthy relationships.

Okay, it’s that last one that has me most perpetually fighting feelings of panic and doom.

This seems like an apt way to kick off the new year. I think a lot of us have questions about relationships and would like to improve our operations in 2021. I can also tell you, this one is extremely appropriate looking back at the last year of my life.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in the past few spins around the sun has been how romance does - and definitely doesn't - fit into my life. I think 2020 was particularly packed full of important lectures and pop quizzes, many of which I failed. It felt like knowing that the correct answer was C, but finding my hand filling in the circle for A every time, anyways.

This is a terrible ideaaaa... and I'm doing it. Pause for about 2 months. Now I'm upset that it was a terrible idea.

Yeah, it's been great. But I have no one to blame but myself. Because as much as I've worked on this trauma management life of mine, I haven't done a good job of working on the relationship aspect of it. I've let my usual patterns dominate. And that's what needs to be examined today.

I mean. Can someone tell me about healthy relationships in functional terms? What IS that even?

Look, I’m not hoping that someone will pop up and share some, “mutual respect, good communication, trust, support, care, similar goals, similar beliefs…” sort of shit. I fucking KNOW about the idealistic, flowery terms that all the light-hearted couples counselors recommend establishing for a happy relationship. I get it.

I’m not ignorant when it comes to the ways humans should interact. I’ve had enough experience with friendships and relationships, alike, to understand the basics of person-to-person interactions. I know I talk about myself like I’ve been a feral child locked in a cage for 20 years, but the truth is that if you met me on the streets I’d probably seem like a normal, well-adapted, personable human being. That Leo Ascendant component of my personality tricks people into actually thinking I’m an extrovert who wants attention. (Hilarious, explains a lot of comments I’ve gotten in my past)

Nah, I’m not asking for the trite descriptions of a healthy partnership that everyone who’s ever been friends on a basic girl’s Facebook has seen before in cursive writing on top of a washed-out pink-tinted field. Those are empty sounding words that I don’t believe most couples manage to put into action, no matter how many selfies they take together or labradoodles they adopt.

For me, Fuckers, the mystery isn’t, “in a fairytale world, how do two humans interact to have a lifelong bliss factory?” Respect, trust, appreciation, mutual understanding… blah blah blah. What the fuck ever.

The real question is how.

And, shit, let me just be honest with all of you - not just the Patrons who’ve already heard my personal bitching - it’s on my mind because I did a thing I definitely should not have… recently, I got into a new romantic relationship that I definitely was not looking for. I’ll spare you all the details today, but know that I’ve entered it kicking and screaming, and it’s caused me a lot of grief already.

Let the life shittery begin! Can’t wait to be destroyed.

Today, I want to bring this personal fire burning in my gut into the podcast. Motherfuck me, if it hasn’t become difficult to ignore… plus, I know that a lot of us Traumatized folks are in a similar boat when it comes to relationship confusion, unhealth, and destruction. So let’s just count the ways that I have no idea how to do this right and I’m destined to be let down by my poor choices.

This time around, I'm bringing you a list of all the ways I tend to fuck things up with other humans. In part, due to Complex Trauma. In other part, probably due to my own personal shortcomings. Listed in no particular order. On a later date, I'm going to be revisiting a lot of these patterns as I examine how early life set a lot of us up for a lot of abuse acceptance in greater detail. Stick around for those continuations on romantic disaster, if this sounds like you, too.

I'm talking about:

Partner choice: Musicians, narcissists, and addicts

Emotional codependency

Mistrust

… That turns into willful blind belief of their words

Inadequacy

Parenting analogues

Authority figures & disappointment

Misdirected commitment

Learned helplessness

Partner choice: Musicians, narcissists and addicts

Who has bad taste in partners? Over and over and over again? It’s me! And probably a lot of you.

Maybe that’s not fair. Maybe they’ve been wonderful guys who just didn’t mesh well with my inner or outer world… but I can tell you, there have been some similarities, and they don’t bode well for a happy future together.

You know me by now. Difficulty connecting with “normal” humans, no interest in small talk, a huge fan of deep emotional honesty, a bit gritty and assholeish, tends to be repelled by anything too widely embraced by the general public, definitely comes with a difficult past, fears of the future, and ongoing challenges in the present.

So, who do you think I get along with? Ivy leaguers with stable, supportive families, an optimistic outlook, and a 20-year plan? Or equally messy and complex humans with a set of neuroses handed down from their unexamined early traumas that make them similarly bitter and disillusioned with life? Just… probably hidden from immediate sight.

Grown men who’ve responsibly built a life for themselves with ambition, personal insight, and balance? Or man-children who’re still figuring out that they can’t drink every night of the week if they want to be functional in life and financially sound? But... with their addictions hidden behind “an appreciation for fine whiskies” or a necessity to sample the craft beer they brew.

Independent, confident humans who have no problem running their own world like a boss and trust that I’m capable of doing the same, with integrity and respect? Or distrustful turds who need me to be in their sight, half-directing their lives at all times unless I’m aiming to be accused of cheating, lying, and being unable to care for myself? Only… they hide their controlling and aggressive tendencies behind go-with-the-flow facades in the beginning.

If you guessed “B” in all three examples, you are correct!

Plus... so, so many musicians. Like, the last 6 of them have either subscribed to guitar or drum camp. And that hasn't been a purposeful decision - those are just the men I get along with until we hate each other.

It's always a rapid connection, a mutual respect for our interests in the arts, and a shared shitty attitude that starts out directed at the world and ends directed at each other. So many emotions. So many ups and downs. So many proclamations of "I can't live without you!" until the day we run in opposite directions and never look back.

Is that a coincidence? Or are all musical folk a bit wild? I hate to generalize, but I can tell you with great amusement that if you start typing "Are all musicians..." into Google, it will autocomplete with "cheaters, narcissists, and crazy." It also suggests "rich," but I can tell you for a fact that isn't true. The narcissist thing... uh.... very well might be correct. But I'll leave that for someone else to study.

So, I don't know what to make of this trend. There do seem to be some commonalities between the musicians in my past life - and they do seem to be categorized by the instrument of choice. For instance, drummers are never concerned with my time, and guitarists are emotional catastrophes. But what do I know? Can't make sweeping conclusions... I, at least, need a larger sample size. With my track record, I'm sure I'll have the numbers soon enough.

Congratulations if you predicted nothing but unstable disasters in my past. It's true, I’m an idiot. Okay, that’s not fair. No inner critic talk. Get out of here, Pam and Karen.

The fact of the matter is, I am a terrible judge of character when I start sensing a connection. I tend to connect with people who have complicated lives and inner worlds, just like I do. And from what I can tell, that is always my downfall.

Challenging connections

Let’s go ahead and chalk this one up to never having close connections or support growing up.

You know what I always wanted, hoped for, and idealized as a kid? Someone loving me. Another human actually understanding my weirdness and signing on for more. The idea of a human who wanted to know what I thought and felt. The option of spending time with someone and feeling cared for. Also, somebody finding me attractive, instead of being repulsed by my ass-length ginger hair, flat chest, dorky hand-me-downs, bleach-stained horse sweaters, and buck teeth... also would have been a dream come true.

I’m pretty sure that growing up lonely didn’t help me in any regard when it came to my later-in-life relationship problems. Starving for connection apparently puts you in a state of deprivation, where you’re likely to think anything is better than the empty feeling inside. You know, just for the rest of your life or so.

To this day, if I meet someone and we’re able to converse without abundant clarifications or apologies for the prickly things that come out of my mouth as dry humor or unbendable opinions… we’re on a roll. If we can connect over shared perspectives on humans, life, and psychology… things are getting more serious. If we can honestly talk about the ways we’re horrible to ourselves and joke about our shared challenges in figuring out what the point of this shitty slip-and-slide of life is about… uh oh, this might be a real connection.

And so, it makes sense that I connect with all the most complicated people you’d ever meet. And we connect INTENSELY. I’m complicated, myself, and I look for folks who can accept it without their heads exploding. I’m never going to be happy holding conversations with Sports Bar Joe or Pretty Boy Blaine. They’re never going to understand the internal strife that dominates my world. I’m never going to understand how they can be all *happy,* *close with their families,* and *laid back about life.*

Gross. I can’t even say the words.

But give me the angstiest, most anxious, most misunderstood dude on the block, and we’re likely to get along swimmingly. We’ll talk over beers until the birds start to chirp. We’ll joke in our native tongues, playing with words, obscure references, and dry humor as if we’ve known each other for 25 years. We’ll share secrets about our tumultuous inner worlds and the ways that we can’t seem to get our heads on straight enough to keep our ships on course.

And the next thing you know, we’ll be incestuously connected with a somewhat false sense of intimacy that erupts out of the gates. “No one has ever understood me the way you do. I can really be myself around you. I’ve never had such easy conversations about this shit before.”

… That’s about the point when I lose all perspective. There’s a tunnel running from my face to this dude’s heart. I stop seeing things for what they are. I project a kinder, gentler, more well-intended personality on the subject of my feels. I quickly turn a blind eye to all the shit they’re doing that I wholeheartedly hate or otherwise cause my red flags to be unpacked.

I feel like I know them, inside and out. I feel like I can help them - like we can help each other - to sort through this dumb world we’ve been born into and all the circumstances holding us back. A real Sid and Nancy storyline emerges. No one gets him like I do. If only they could see the things I see. We’re just two broken souls who found each other, a little rough around the edges, but we see the diamonds underneath. And we’re in this battle together from now on.

Yeah, right.

Sooooo… This is how I wind up with the unpredictable narcissists who seem like nice guys, the secret addicts who keep their substance abuse hidden from everyone, and the emotional abusers who are ready to leverage my mental health admissions against me the first time they get the chance. Dudes who have highly emotional worlds and no idea how to deal with them. Men who don’t want to explore their own shortcomings and instead choose avoidant courses in life.

And, again, the musicians. So, so many musicians. I really am coming to think that they’re the most fucked up people of all - and that's saying a lot coming from me. Generally speaking, I've seen that there’s no sense of personal responsibility, an obsession with themselves, and a hidden inferiority complex that turns them into bitchy little dogs when they feel threatened. What’s with that, anyways? Can you guys try to be more original in your plight to be the most original?

Okay, anyways. Sorry to keep dragging on musicians.

The point is, my attempts at relationships start out on the wrong foot. Choosing the wrong partner is a pretty surefire way to dash all hopes for those fluffy ideals I mentioned earlier. No one is going to respect me, listen to me, or support me when they’re too busy dealing with their own alcoholism, abandonment issues, and narcissistic flailings… or, not dealing with them, to be more specific.

We aren’t going to be able to work through things when they’re consumed with being the king of the world, hiding from all negative emotions, and trying to keep their head away from analysing their own actions. Hell, it’ll be difficult to even find the time for serious talks, since they’re so busy traveling to band practices, hustling away for barely-paying gigs, and staring at their social media while they count the ways they’re victims of the universe.

Choose imbalanced, mentally ill, self-serving partners… get unhealthy, controlling, unpredictable relationships. Pretty goddamn obvious. And yet, I still can never seem to see the full picture of the human who’s caught my attention through the fog that’s created by the connection of our shared dysfunctions.

I guess this is where that, “love yourself and get yourself healthy first,” sentiment comes into play, so the connections don’t continue to be as disasterious as your personal experience is. Hopefully I’m on the right path in my own journey, at least. Also, a lot less starved for connection. I got y’all Motherfuckers in the Discord community, for starters. And I’ve become determined to live a life where I support myself and rely on no one outside of Archie’s snuggles, for finishers.

Step one: Be careful about who you deem a good person, just because you can share self-deprecating jokes about being nutjobs and similar musical interests. Learn to choose someone who isn’t an even trashier trash human than you are. It’s a start.

Emotional codependency

Hand in hand with forming connections that include deep emotional outpourings and admissions of all the dark things we hide from the light at our office jobs… comes codependency.

I’ve said it before and let me say it again… I didn’t understand codependency until very recently.

In my mind, it was akin to those creepy couples who won’t leave the house without each other, have the same friends, interests, and opinions on everything... and possibly wear matching cat shirts. Those people who never spend time with other humans because they're too busy being shoved up their partner’s ass. The folks who call to check in on each other throughout the day when they’re at work. Gag. Particularly, I imagined those pathetic girls who cry when their boyfriend is out of sight and post 12 pictures a day of them together.

Rightfully, I scoffed and insisted that I didn't have problems with codependency. That’s not me. But it turns out, this view isn’t quite right, so much as I was being an uninformed asshole.

Codependency doesn’t mean you’re a needy, incapable human being who sucks the life power out of someone else, like I used to think. Codependency is a two-way relationship defined by poor boundaries and non-existent emotional regulation. Two humans who see their experiences as one, all the way down to how they feel and how they deal with how they feel. (i.e. turning to their significant other for comfort and emotional control in a time of need instead of working through it by themselves). Relationships where the emotions are transferred from party to party until it's unclear who’s bringing what dish to the gathering. Waking up not knowing how your day is going to be, because it depends on how someone else feels about theirs. Emotional enablement city.

Oh, yeah, when you put it like that, I definitely have issues with codependency.

For me, the codependency is largely going to be emotional. In the past, I didn’t know how to have a relationship of any sort without having a third influence in the mix. There was the person, myself, and our shared emotions... that often called more shots than either of us did.

Because I tend to be on the empath scale (although I do everything I can to fight it out of defense), I think I’m naturally tuned into other people’s emotional and energetic states, for better or for worse. When someone walks into the room with a bad vibe, I feel it to my core. I become so uncomfortable that I take it on myself to try to “fix” the problem for them, and in doing so, I avoid the negative sensation, myself. This is negative reinforcement, if anyone wanted to ABA with me.

That being said, clearly if my boo is having a hard time… it’s not okay. They’re in a shit place and therefore so am I. I must do whatever I can to make it better. To sit down and talk in circles with them, if that’s what relieves some of their tension. To commiserate about how unfair the circumstances are. To validate the negativity that they’re projecting and wallowing in.

Don’t worry though, this goes the other way, too. In the past, I have fully expected my romantic partners to alleviate any inner discomfort that I’ve felt. If I was having a low-down day, I wanted them to cheer me up. If I was full of anxiety, I wanted them to find a way to release it. If I was frustrated with a work situation or coworker, I wanted them to be as angry and indignant as I felt.

So… I guess that doesn’t even sound too off-base to me, at least not when I’m leaning on my teenage expectations of what relationships are supposed to be. In my head, it was always completely ideal that I would wind up with someone who could essentially read my thoughts and comfort me like my family never did. I just wanted someone who would be by my side, thinking about me all the time, and working double time to make sure I was keeping my depression and anxiety on the up-and-up. Is that too much to ask? Uh… yeah, it is.

Maybe in a fairytale love story like the ones I saw in teenage romance movies growing up, this is the perfect way for two broken misfits to interact. “We’re both so damaged and hurt that no one has ever really seen us - but now we have each other to lick our shared wounds.” Yeah, romantic. Also really fucked up and dangerous in the real world.

The problem is, after a few months of this, it gets pretty hard to determine what’s my experience and what’s yours. The emotions become so transitive that it can be invigorating, immersive, overwhelming, and exhausting to be in each other’s company, depending on the day and the event. Living together or essentially sharing a residence makes it much worse - there’s no physical barrier between us, so that emotional barrier is even less existent. We don't have to try to text about our woes, we can just unleash them the moment we step foot in the door. Ready or not, your night is about to be ruined by my day, and vice-versa.

How does this go wrong? Uh, let’s count the ways.

1. My emotional management was never up to par, in the first place. Having your feelings catapulted my way effectively pushes me off the balance beam that I was already wobbling on. If I was having a difficult day but holding it together on my own through coping techniques and reasonable thinking - fucking forget it, that’s over now. We’re both in a shitty state now. Great. In the context of trying to recover from mental health issues… yeah, it’s a fucking disaster. Being retriggered by your partner or sucked into a depressive undertow when you’re trying to make positive change is a losing battle.

2. I never learned how to cope with my own emotions. There was generally someone else for me to hurtle them at, and our subsequent hours of bitching would give me the comfort I was looking for. I didn’t need to learn to manage my feelings - I always had a glorified babysitter to keep me alive. I never had to be accountable for my inner world. I never had to look at things with logic or reason. I could let myself spiral and trust that my best friend or boyfriend would catch me before I slipped down the drain.

3. It becomes impossible to talk about issues - personal or shared. When you’re already sharing emotions there’s an explosive effect when conflict is brought up. Neither one of us knows how to handle our shit, we expect the other person to hold us up with kid gloves, annnd now that person is the source of my distress? We’re both completely beside ourselves, upset, hurt, and angry… and it’s towards each other? Now who the fuck do we call? There's a huge sense of confusion and betrayal. No one has the skills to de-escalate the argument or return to a normal emotional state.

4. How do you break up when half of your existence is in the body of another human? You can’t mentally or emotionally separate yourself from them. Physically separating yourself feels like ripping out a few of your organs and leaving them on the streets. And, who’s going to keep you afloat when you’re going through the pain of the break up? That’s the job of your partner, afterall… can’t have a vacant desk sitting here. It’s best to just suck it up and stick with it. No one would understand what you’ve both been through together, anyways.

In a word, that’s codependency.

Not what people think it is. Not what our culture describes it as. Not so easy to spot until you’re educated and honest with yourself… plus, probably viewing things through the lenses of hindsight.

Definitely a sneaky recipe for disaster when you let it take over a well-intended, emotionally transparent, highly connective relationship. And, Motherfuckers, I’ve always tended to.

 Head to t-mfrs.com for more!

[pbandjesse]

I just got out of the shower and I am feeling good. I am tired and sore but like. I dont feel as low as I did. I was feeling kind of sad there all of a sudden. 

But its really just from being tired. I need to be nicer to myself. I need to get more sleep. 

Last night I went to bed at an okay time but I had very active dreams and woke up pretty miserable. I slept an extra 15 minutes. Which made me technically 15 minutes late but not really because after my long drive, and stopping in the art building to drop my gear, I walk up to the office just as they were starting the meeting. There was some important info today for counselors, but not a ton that was pertinent to me.  Except that they wanted to know who was available for off season work. And I of course threw my name in. I hope to get trained in more areas and be useful for anything they could need. Once camp is over, I dont really know what life will look like for me. Museums arent open yet. School wont be going back for a long time still. Maryland is saying end of January. So I dont know what I will be doing to bring in money. I would like to try to find a way to sell my art works but I am still not super good at that. Maybe this will be the time for it? 

My day was pretty good in the art building though. I spent the first hour setting up and getting everything ready for the kids. We were painting fabric and I was excited. 

The kids also really took to it. Some more than others, some wanted to do more then one piece. But everyone seemed to really enjoy the projects and were chill. I had a good time but I was feeling really low energy. 

After my first group left I finished cleaning up and laid down. I felt super tired. I was listening to a podcast but I fell asleep at some point. It was to hot and the sun was to bright. But I still slept for a little.

I felt a lot better after that though. Still to hot. But it was alright. I had my lunch. I made sure I was all set up for my next groups. And I waited. 

The next two groups were back to back so I had to really be prepared. But it actually just went easy and we had fun. Kids enjoyed the art and the hammocks. Just a good day. Plus the kids were just sweet and kind. 

With the last group some of the kids played with my thumb pianos and enjoyed playing around with the fun things I have in the art shed. But soon they had to go. 

I finished cleaning up and decided I would go swimming. I hadnt planned this but I was so hot and I just needed to go sit. 

I got changed and walked to the pool. Liela was there with the group shes with this week. We talked. I went and sat in the water on the stairs. I didnt want to get my hair went at first but I decided fuck it once the little kids left and I went over to the deep end. Leila got in with me and I just really enjoyed swimming. I was in there for like an hour and a half and I might have gotten just a little red. But it was worth it. In the summer I never feel better then when I am in the water. 

I also got to meet some of the new teens. But I cant get a read on the girls yet. The boys seem nice though. I am curious who will be with me next week. Though Liela says she will fight them. Shes so silly. She wants me to have a baby so bad now. It was funny explaining why that is both a great and a terrible idea. I have so much time but no money. Also where would they live?? I would have to redo my whole studio. 

I left the pool at 4 after sitting on the side and talking to some friends while I dried off. But I walked up to the art shed. Got changed. Wasnt helpful at pickup because there is nothing for me to be helpful with. Took Alexi's daughter, Josephine, up to the art shed to get some string to make a bracelet. And then I headed home. 

I decided I wanted pizza. After my pasta failed last night I thought this would make me feel better. 711 didnt have any so I went to the actual pizza place next door. I wasnt sure you could order in person so I asked and they said it was fine. I ordered my pizza and  sat on the curb outside for the 10 minutes it took to make.

And then I was driving home. Fighting to keep my eyes open. Wanting to eat my pizza but mostly wanting to wait. I was able to hold it together and get home both without falling asleep or eating my pizza.

When I got back here I brought the mail up. And ate almost right away. I finished listening to my podcast. Played animal crossing. Felt kind of gross. My body feels swollen and it is frustrating. I dont know why I feel like this.

I wanted to work on my quilt but I am having sewing machine issues still. The tension is all wrong and I cant figure out why. But Jess is giving me one of her old machines. I hope I can figure it out. Shes so nice to do that for me. But I was able to make this work in the meantime and got a little more work done on the next quilt piece. 

I took my shower, Deep conditioned my hair. And now I am laying here ready for sleep. I will wait for James because I alway try to. But man I am sleepy. 

Tomorrow he is going to drive me to work so he can use the car. And I just have a nice long day. It is supposed to storm though so we will see how that affects things. Hopefully not too severely. 

I hope you all have a great night tonight. Take care of yourselves. Goodnight. 

[hakuoki-dreams]

OKAY MY DEAR I HAVE A CHALLENGE AND NEED SOME THOUGHTS. I’m toying with some modern au ideas and wanted your opinion - what do you think the boys would be doing work-wise or major wise (if they’re in college) nowadays? I don’t even care who you do, whatever your feeling. I have a handful of my own thoughts but would love to hear yours! Thank you!!

@do-it-for-keef Hey gorgeous! 😘

Oh I mull over this subject a lot!! How do you always read my mind? Here are a handful that I’ve thought about, although this isn’t a complete list:

Heisuke - Realistically he’s around college-age, but I don’t know if he’d be the type to really want a degree. I could totally see this guy as a fireman because:

Master Forerunner

Won’t hesitate to sprint into burning buildings to rescue people and pets

In his route he has a lot of doubts about what��s right and wrong, who’s on the correct side of a conflict, which beliefs he should choose to fight for etc.

But he has zero misgivings when it comes to saving people from pure danger

‘Fire is always bad’ -Heisuke, probably

Would also make a great police officer:

He tries to diffuse tense situations by talking things out first whenever possible, an important quality in a good cop

But once things start to escalate he will take motherfuckers down

Kicking ass and taking names

Literally will take their names back at the station, best arrest record in the precinct

Saito - mathematics/physics teacher

He deals in absolutes, so I feel like a math-heavy field would really click with him

He’s very eloquent and knows how to explain complicated concepts in an understandable way

Also I’m pretty sure he already enjoys mentally calculating the exact angle at which to swing his sword to end a man’s life

Has a long fuse and is surprisingly good at controlling a room full of teenagers. Maintains order on the daily even though he’s not the most physically intimidating guy

Because his students know if they get too rowdy Saito’s angry voice will strike the fear of God into their quaking hearts

His smarts and icy good looks have all the girls and half the boys crushing on him

Starts finding secret love notes to Saito-senpai in his desk all the time, is a little shook

'This is completely inappropriate’

Shinpachi - I used to see him as a physical therapist/personal trainer type, because he’s good at motivating people and loves working out, but I don’t know if that would fulfill his more thoughtful side. So now I’m leaning toward camp counselor:

It’s not a lifelong career choice but look I just want to see Shin covered in adorable rambunctious children is that too much to ask?

He’s high-energy and has the emotional and physical stamina required for the job

Will lead activities like a champ: hiking, swimming, dodge ball, all of it

He grew up in a big family so he’s good with kids

Will mentor the shit out of them

Can motivate even the shyest ones, very inclusive with everyone

He’s a really good listener and will sit his kids down and talk with them one-on-one if he sees they’re struggling with something. He helps them see their problems in a much more black-and-white way.

Catches some of his guys sneaking girls and beer into their cabin and gives them an A+ lecture on safe sex and drinking responsibly

All the female counselors and campers think he’s a dreamboat

Sanan - Biomedical/pharmaceutical researcher:

He totally has the smarts to be a doctor, but his bedside manner is a bit awkward…

Prefers to know that he’s helping people from afar

He’s also got the focus and dedication to get through all those years of grad school

He’ll work super hard to attain his dream of running his own laboratory by 35. Wants to be in control of the direction of his research, has a very clear vision of what his life’s work should be

Published in all the major industry journals, total whiz kid

Can write the hell out of a grant proposal

Model workaholic. Last one to leave the lab at night, first one in in the morning

Personal life haha what’s that

Sanosuke - I think we’ve talked about this before but therapist/social worker:

He’s super easy to talk to and hella charismatic

Excellent at reading people’s inner thoughts and intentions. Good judge of character, but also patient and open-minded with his clients

Has a lot of compassion for the weak, the downtrodden, etc. and a deep-seated desire to help others

Takes a lot of genuine interest in his clients’ problems. Writes great session notes

He had to give up on marriage counseling though because the ladies would take one look at his face and ask for a divorce

Looks sexy in reading glasses

‘And how does that make you feel’ it makes me feel super fucking horny okay Sano??

Souma - business management intern

This baby is still in high school, but he has big dreams for his future, so he’s spending the summer working a highly competitive internship

Is always ten minutes early

Will go pick up coffee orders with the determination of a man leaving for war

Endlessly motivated to do a good job every day. Performs even the smallest tasks with a focus and concentration that is honestly kind of terrifying

’It’s For The Good Of The Company’ -Souma’s fight speech that he gives himself while crying in the mirror after spending 4 hours stapling papers together

Better employee than half the people on payroll

By Souma’s second week his manager had already decided that he was getting a firm job offer after graduation

About it for now! Might add some more later. I wish I could say I knew what the hell to do with Hijikata, but he’s a hard nut to crack 🤔

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #100: Centenary Celebration (6/21/19)

That’s right, guys, gals, and pals! We’ve made it to the hundredth installment of the TØP Weekly Update! And to honor that, we’re going to kick it back to the ol’ format and do a deep dive into all things Twenty One Pilots from the last seven days. Let’s get it!

This Week’s TØPics:

Spotify Location Sessions

Celebrating the Life of Blake Shelton

Is This Finally It For “Chlorine”’s Chart Time?

Reflections on 100 Updates

My TØP Discovery Story

Major Releases, News, and Announcements:

Sneaking in at the very end of the week, the band dropped a “Location Session” acoustic performance for “Chlorine” last night on all platforms. The latitude/longitude coordinates included in the title translate to the center of Mexico City. This could mean that the song was initially conceived in the city, or it could mean that this was where this version was recorded, perhaps during the private show they delivered a few weeks back. I find the latter more likely, particularly as the recent private show in Brooklyn already leaked some alternate arrangements to a few songs. But who knows? It could be part of a much bigger master plan. We’ll just have to see how the rest of these Sessions roll out- we’ve really been left in the dark on this one.

Interviews, Performances, and Other Shenanigans:

Really, the biggest piece of news from this week is that Josh Dun turned 31. This saw the expected outpouring of love for Debby Ryan and Tyler Joseph’s life partner online from friends, family, and fans. The best celebration for the fans, though, came to us onstage at the show in Birmingham, where Tyler not only agreed to lead everyone in singing “one of the worst songs ever” but offered a video tribute to the most important men born on June 18th- you know, Blake Shelton, Paul McCartney, Kendrick Lamar (almost) and the first Fast and Furious movie (Tyler thought this joke was so funny he lay down on the stage to laugh it out).

Never one to be left out of the spotlight, Tyler showed us a clearer picture of how Jenna has cleaned up their tour bus space, blew a kiss to a person with a pride flag during “Holding On To You”, and congratulated some fans who got engaged in the pit.

But wait, there’s more! We also got another press conference interview where Tyler talks about how to get inspired and his opinions on The Bachelorette, Josh discusses Jim vomiting up salt water, and they both talk about how they manage all the bags of money sitting around and who they’d want to sit on them if they were chairs (really). Another interview had Tyler speculate on snorting spaghetti, while another press conference saw the boys speculate on when “Trees” might leave the setlist (You hear that? That’s the sound of a million Clikkies crying out in terror at once.)

Chart Performance:

Sadly, the release of the Location Session will probably not be sufficient to save our girl “Chlorine”. After a random uptick in performance last week, “Chlorine” fell back down on Bubbling Under and on most chart metrics. This song’s been taking me on a real roller coaster that I think might finally be over.

Upcoming Shows:

Next week will see the Bandito Tour continue to wind through the United States, with shows in Houston (Toyota Center; 19,000 capacity), San Antonio (AT&T Center; 19,000), Austin (Frank Erwin Center, 17,900), Oklahoma City (Chesapeake Energy Arena, 16,500), and Memphis (FedEx Forum; 19,000). Then the week after that... well, we’ll talk about that tomorrow.

100th Update Retrospective:

It’s truly hard for me to wrap my head around how long I’ve been curating this little blog and all the ways that it has evolved and changed over the last three years. When I started the blog back in August 2016, it was really just a place to sort my thoughts about the band I loved more than any other for much longer than that. The first update still only has a single note, a reblog from my personal account, and I never really expected this blog to receive any more attention than that. The fact that this series persisted even when the Hiatus made it impossible to stick to its titular promise is remarkable, but not nearly as much as the fact that people actually care about what I have to say about these two dummies. I’m so grateful for everyone who has taken the time to read, share, and respond to even one of my ramblings.

To wrap up this update, I thought I’d share my story of how I discovered this band nearly six years ago. If you’re not here to hear some rando ramble about himself, feel free to move right along, but for the Real Ones who have been here for some time, let me catch you up to speed...

It was 2013, the summer after my junior year of high school, and I was absolutely miserable. Now, I tended to be miserable in general back then- I was a teenager struggling with depression, loneliness, and trauma- but I had a special reason to be on this particular week. I had gone to a church camp located on a lake that was nearly a full day’s drive from my house. On the first day of the trip, I slipped while climbing a cliff down by the shore and hit my back on a rock, pretty seriously injuring myself. I stubbornly refused to return home or go to a hospital, so I got bandaged up on site and spent the next three days laying out on the beach alone, watching everyone else have fun while I willed my back to heal. 

Since this was a nature retreat, my sole distraction in this time was a 50-song playlist made by one of the church leaders that looped on repeat in the same order for the entire week. With no choice but to actively listen to the lyrics to each of these songs, I grew to really dislike most of them. Yet two of those songs, both sung by a guy with a particularly interesting whine, stood out to me as especially interesting. The singer was talking about stuff I really could relate to, not just in this moment of loneliness but even more in my life back at home. This guy was talking about struggling with your own brain, about trying to find something greater than ourselves to hold on to, about how to turn your hands towards something constructive, about trying to find connection with others through music. Listening through the other 48 songs was worth it to get to those two.

I asked the counselor who wrote “Holding On To You” and “Guns For Hands”. He told me about this new band called Twenty One Pilots. And my life hasn’t been the same since.

Power to the local dreamer.

||-//

[lovelyyjh]

crazy in love || 3

↬pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader

↬genre: fluff, crack, angst

↬warnings: swearing, fighting, y/n pops off, verkwan continues to meddle, but now they’ve enlisted lesbians to help, hardly proofread

↬word count: 3.7k (a single chapter is never this long for me, i got carried away)

↬a/n: i was writing this on a five hour car drive, and i had nothing better to do, so i just kept writing and we ended up at over three times the amount i usually write so enjoy!! as always, let me know what you think :))

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“y/n! wake up, it’s time to go!” you were shaken out of your sleep by a voice speaking to you and two large masses crushing your feet. you groaned as your eyes fluttered open, groggily sitting up to see wheein and hwasa sitting at the end of your bed.

“why the hell are you waking me up this early,” you complained, throwing your pillow at the two girls.

“it’s the first day of camp! we’re gonna go get breakfast then we all go canoeing afterwards. after that is the lunch picnic and then free time for the rest of the afternoon. and tonight is movie night so that starts when it gets dark,” hwasa explained, a bright smile on her face.

“fine. but i’m not getting ready until after breakfast,” you said, rolling out of bed and pulling your hair up into a messy bun (it’s y/n she HAS to put her hair in a messy bun at least once, its like the law).

“solar and moonbyul are already there,” wheein said as the three of you walked out of your cabin and down to the mess hall, you still being in your pajamas, which were just an old t-shirt and sweatpants. you sat at the table where all of the boys and the rest of your cabin were. you plopped down in between chan and jihoon, grabbing a muffin from the basket in the center of the table and leaning your head on chan’s shoulder.

“you look like shit, y/n,” soonyoung said through a mouthful of pancake. you shot him a sarcastic smile while flipping him off before taking a bite of your muffin. chan reached around you to pat your shoulder comfortingly, smiling down at you. chan had always been like a little brother to you, just like a majority of the younger boys, but you had always had a soft spot for the youngest. he was going into his freshman year in high school the next year and you always loved giving him advice about school or girls and other things a boy his age would stress over.

“don’t listen to him, he’s being a dick this morning. he’s already dumped water on mingyu’s lap and said he peed himself,” solar told you, “but then wonwoo punched him in the gut, so it worked out.” you hardly acknowledged what she said, still being half asleep. by the time you had just finished your muffin, you saw someone else squish in between you and jihoon.

“good morning, poo butt,” jeonghan chirped, putting his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand as he turned to look at you, “sleep well?” you glared at him, using your foot to kick his shin under the table, making him yelp and pout at you.

“what do you want, jeonghan?” you seethed, still scowling at him.

“well, since canoeing is after breakfast, i was going to ask if you wanted to partner with me,” he questioned, beaming at you. you sighed deeply and nodded, now being able to sit up after waking up a little more. he clapped his hands and stood up, starting to go back to where he was sitting before turning to you again, “oh, and soonyoung was right. you do look like shit.”

“oh you little-” a burst of energy hit you as you lunged towards him, jumping onto his back and holding your arm around his neck in a headlock. after a moment, the both of you were in a lighthearted mood as he tried to get you off his back.

“y/n! jeonghan! you are both graduated students, you should know that you can’t act like that in the middle of the mess hall!” one of the counselors, minho, shouted. you swiftly jumped off jeonghan’s back standing next to him as you both put your heads down, “both of you go get ready, and don’t behave like that again.” the two of you nodded and shuffled out of the mess hall. but the second you stepped foot out of the building, you looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter and holding onto the other for support. 

“he was so mad!”

“well, if you hadn’t have jumped on me, he wouldn’t have been mad!”

“then you shouldn’t have said i look like shit!”

“but you do!”

“don’t make me attack you again,” you warned, raising your eyebrows challengingly at him. he help his hands up in surrender and shook his head at you.

“okay, okay. but we should go get ready like he said. canoeing starts in forty five minutes. meet me by the tire swing tree in half an hour?” you nodded, waving goodbye to him as you both ran off to your respective cabins.

another 30 minutes later, you were sitting on the tire swing at your designated meeting area, but no sign of jeonghan yet. you huffed impatiently, tapping your foot against one of the tree roots you were standing above. your eyes flitted to the left as you saw something moving out of the corner of your eyes. the second you saw who was there, your heart dropped. 

jeonghan. 

with jinsoul. 

he was apparently helping her put her life jacket on over her bathing suit that was definitely not modest enough for her to be in the presence of the children who were also getting their life jackets on, less than twenty feet away from her. you took a deep breath and began to walk over to the two, holding back your anger and jealousy as best you could. jeonghan noticed you once you came within a few feet of them, turning to look at you with a smile as soon as he finished the last buckle on jinsoul’s life jacket.

“hey, monkey!” you fake smiled at him and waved. jinsoul waved back at you, a genuine smile on her face. she wasn’t a bad person, you knew that. she was actually really nice. you thought you guys would probably be friends if your severe desire for jeonghan didn’t stand in the way all the time. you knew she didn’t mean any harm by flirting with him, he was handsome, and lots of girls did it. she had no idea you liked him, you assumed.

“i was just talking to jeonghan about how we were gonna go out on the canoe together. who are you going with?” jinsoul asked you, tilting her head to the side, which caused her long blonde hair to fall to the side a bit. your eyes widened and you turned towards jeonghan, who just guiltily shrugged and smiled. but you weren’t the only one who was upset by this. a few feet away, also putting his life jacket on, was boo seungkwan. he whipped around and ran to stand beside jinsoul, putting on his best grin.

“actually, jinsoul, i was going to ask if you wanted to go with me! i need to talk to you about something very important,” seungkwan explained, setting a hand on her shoulder and throwing a not-so-discreet wink towards you.

“hey! i thought we were supposed to go together!” a very upset looking vernon whined, walking up to the four of you. seungkwan raised his eyebrows at vernon, shooting his eyes from jeonghan to you. vernon made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth, giving the shorter boy a thumbs up, “i’ll just go with jungeun,” he said pointing over to the silver-haired girl who was waiting a few feet back, probably thinking she was going to go with jinsoul, considering they were best friends. seungkwan held himself back from a jealous outburst, nodding stiffly and curling his lips up in a phony smile.

“alright, perfect! so jinsoul’s with me and jeonghan is with y/n?” seungkwan asked, looking around to all of you. you all three nodded and walked with your respective partners to the lake, vernon and jongeun walking right behind you. as soon as you had all gotten into your canoes, you pushed off and began to float.

“since i’m the guy, and im strong, i’ll row for us,” jeonghan boasted, flexing his arm muscles that were shown off in the sleeveless shirt he was wearing over his swim trunks. you rolled your eyes and reached down to splash water at him, laughing when his hair got wet and fell flat down on his forehead. he groaned and wiped the water that was dripping down his face, flicking it at you.

“well, big strong guy, we’re both rowing since this is a partner activity.” you both took an oar and began to row, not noticing the three canoes following close behind.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“okay, jinsoul, listen i know you like jeonghan or whatever, but we need to have a talk about that.” seungkwan looked at the girl sitting across from him in the canoe dead in the eyes, a serious expression on his face. she nodded slowly, prompting him to continue, “so you might have the hots for pretty boy, but he’s in love with y/n and she’s in love with him. he just hasn’t come to terms with his feelings yet, but she did about three years ago. so as nice as you seem, i’m gonna need you to bibbity bobbity back the fuck up.” jinsoul laughed, deeply confusing seungkwan.

“i don’t like jeonghan. he’s cute sure, but i don’t have feelings for him. i flirt with him a lot, but that’s because everyone expects me too. and i would be concerned about playing with his feelings, but i know for a fact he doesn’t have feelings for me, thank gods. plus, it’s a good way to cover up the fact that i’m totaly head over heels for jungeun,” jinsoul explained, looking fondly over at the girl who was talking with vernon, “i just wish your friend would stop talking to her all the time.” seungkwan looked back at vernon and jongeun, turning back to jinsoul with wide eyes, his jaw unhinged.

“so you’re..?”

“a lesbian? yes.” jinsoul lauged, “and i know you want jongeun to stop talking to vernon too. i’ve seen the way you look at him,” she said knowingly.

“is it that obvious?” seungkwan asked nervously.

“not really. i just have a really good gaydar. and i know jungeun is bisexual, she’s told me before, but she still hasn’t figured out i like her. vernon is too, and he probably likes you too, he just doesn’t understand it that well.”

“vernon told you that?” jinsoul shook her head, laughing again.

“nope. i just know.” she winked over-exaggeratedly at the very shocked boy in front of her, “now, what’s our plan to get y/n and jeonghan together?”

“well first we need to call over the other members of the operation,” seungkwan told her before clearing his throat and making an overly loud bird sound, hardly drawing the attention of other campers, since they knew it was him, and that’s just how boo seungkwan is. after a few moments, two canoes rowed over to them, one being vernon and jungeun and the other being the very famous junhao, “jinsoul, you know jun and minghao, junhao, you know jinsoul. she’s now in on the operation.” jun, minghao, and vernon nodded, but jungeun looked extremely confused.

“what’s going on? what operation is this?” jinsoul and seungkwan exchanged a look before jinsoul turned to explain everything to jungeun.

“so basically, y/n and jeonghan are in love, y/n knows she likes him, but jeonghan hasn’t comes to terms with his feelings yet, so all of us are going to get them together. of course, you know i don’t actually like jeonghan, so i’m gonna stop the flirting so we can make y/nhan happen and-” seungkwan held up his hand to stop her from talking, before beginning to speak.

“actually, don’t stop flirting with him. in fact, bump it up a notch. we need y/n to be jealous. the more jealous she gets, the more likely she’ll be to snap and tell jeonghan she likes him.” jinsoul nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

“here’s the current situation,” seungkwan began, “y/n can’t swim. and she freaks out anytime she’s in water that she can’t touch the bottom in. so what we’re gonna do is tip their canoe. y/n has a life jacket, so she won’t drown, but she’ll still get scared, so she’ll go to the closest person, which is jeonghan. jun and minghao will distract them while jinsoul, vernon, jungeun, and i will turn over their canoe. does everyone understand?” the other five collectively nodded before rowing to their positions.

“y/n! jeonghan! look, there’s an eagle!” you and jeonghan both turned your heads in the direction of where jun was pointing, trying to see the bird.

“i don’t see any-” you were cut off by your canoe overturning and you and your best friend being thrown into the water. you instantaneously noticed your feet weren’t touching the bottom and you screeched, thrashing towards jeonghan before clinging onto him. he, being taller than you, could touch the bottom, so he wrapped his arms around your hips, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

“you’re such a scaredy-cat, monkey,” he teased, using one of his hands to tickle your side. you pulled back and hit him in the chest weakly.

“you know i can’t swim, you asshole! it’s scary.” he rolled his eyes and booped your nose.

“i’ll teach you sometime. now let’s get back to shore so we can dry you off. he started walking out of the water with you still wrapped around him, setting you down on a bench that was on the shore and going to get a towel before bringing to you and wrapping it around your shoulders, leaving his arm around you and letting you curl into his side.

still on the lake, seungkwan and jinsoul gave each other an accomplished look, high-fiving before going back to rowing through the lake.

step one was a success.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

a few hours later, you sat on a soft blanket, unpacking a basket of sandwiches, chips and sodas for a lunch picnic. your cabin, the ‘pinwheel’, ‘highlight’, and ‘chilli’ cabin were all set up on surrounding blankets, but you were the only one without someone else sharing your blanket. jeonghan was with seungcheol and joshua on a blanket, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. you and jeonghan might be best friends, but the three of them were something else. they were the basic cliche of the tsundere bad boy who rides a moter cycle and wears a leather jacket even in summer, seungcheol; the gentleman, joshua; and the heartthrob, jeonghan. you were perfectly fine with sitting alone, especially since you still had people surrounding you, but you were curious about some of the groups who sat together. seungkwan, vernon, jun, and minghao sat with jinsoul and jongeun, who keep turning back and looking at you before looking away quickly. you didn’t think much of it since verkwan was always up to some weird shit. you only hoped it wouldn’t be something that ended up bad for you.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“so minghao, you’re going to go get sammy to sit with y/n, and make sure he knows to be very friendly with her. jinsoul, you’re going to invite jeonghan to your blanket which has a perfect view of y/n’s blanket, so y/n will be jealous since you’re with jeonghan and then jeonghan will be jealous since y/n is with sammy. jun, go get our picnic basket since you’re the one who forgot it. seungkwan, jungeun, and i will sit here and make sure nothing goes wrong,” vernon spelled out, before putting his hand in front of him, “hands in, everyone.” five other hands set themselves on top of his. “on three, okay? one, two, three, matchmakers!” after their chant, jinsoul, minghao, and jun got up and went to do their individual jobs.

“you think this is gonna work, seungkwan?” jongeun asked. seungkwan grinned smugly, a proud expression on his face.

“of course it’s gonna work. my plans never go wrong.”

・・・

“y/n? would you mind if i sat with you?” you stopped sipping your soda to look up at the person standing next your blanket. you smiled and nodded, patting the spot next to you, gesturing for sammy to sit down.

“why aren’t you sitting with your cabin?” you asked, popping a chip in your mouth before offering the bag to sammy. he shrugged and took the bag from you.

“i just wanted to catch up with you. we haven’t talked in forever.” you nodded, agreeing with him. as you were talking, you noticed jinsoul crouching down in front of jeonghan’s blanket before taking his hand to lead him to her blanket. deciding to ignore it, you shook your head and continued your conversation with sammy. you wanted to enjoy your lunch without jealousy ruining it. but there was jealousy present within someone else.

jeonghan had sat down with jinsoul, looking up and noticing sammy saying something to make you laugh and immediately turning into a little green-eyed monster. he tried to disregard it, but you kept putting your hand on his shoulder, and he kept making you laugh, and the two of you were subconsciously getting closer and closer. jeonghan was angry. he didn’t exactly know why, but he was. the final straw was when sammy reached around and tickled your sides, causing you to curl up and fall into his arms. jeonghan stood up abruptly, his soda clutched in his hand, and walked up towards you and sammy. as he walked past, he tipped the can over, spilling soda all over the other boy’s lap. you gasped and turned to grab napkins out of your basket.

“oh my gosh, i’m so sorry, simon!” jeonghan said, feigning concern and innocence.

“it’s sammy, and don’t worry about it. just be careful next time,” sammy replied taking a few napkins from you. you started helping him clean up the sticky drink, dabbing the napkins on his legs, getting much too close to him for jeonghan’s liking. he really didn’t think that one through. jeonghan scoffed and stomped back to his blanket with jinsoul, who was extremely proud of herself and the other shippers™.

step two was another success.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

the day was almost over, and everyone was gathered in the large field next to the lake for the first movie night of the summer. you and jeonghan were sitting together, as you usually do when he isn’t sitting with his cabin, who usually end up cuddling during the movie. jihoon hates it, but then soonyoung joins and he hates it a little more (less ;). but tonight, someone was missing from that group. as he had been all day, seungkwan was scheming. it was the last step of the day, and the most simple one. minghao had brought to everyone’s attention that you were a messy eater when it came to ice cream, and jeonghan was extremely neat. as soon as he said this, the entire group understood exactly what he was referring to. so jun had an ice cream sandwich he had brought to you, and the only other thing they had to do was sit back and watch.

you had just opened and bit into the sandwich, eyes on the movie in front of you as you leaned back against jeonghan’s chest. after a few minutes, you had finished all of the treat and you sat up, looking back at the light-haired boy and smiling. he rolled his eyes and pointed to your lips.

“you are such a messy eater.” you reached up to wipe it off before he caught your hand and lowered it down again, “don’t. i’ve got it.” jeonghan looked down at your lips as he reached up and swiped his thumb across the bottom one, collecting the ice cream off of it onto his thumb. he stuck the tip of his thumb in his mouth, licking the melted sugar off of it. you looked down to the ground before he could see you blushing. he chuckled and pulled you back into his chest.

“you’re so mean,” you whined, elbowing him in the stomach.

“you know what i’m curious about?” he asked.

“what?”

“what happens when one of us starts dating. the two of us are so close, our partner would probably be uncomfortable with us always cuddling like this and stuff.” your heart sank at the thought of jeonghan dating someone else.

“i guess we just wouldn’t be around each other as much. why do you ask? do you like someone?” you knew you were just being hopeful in asking this, but you still had to try.

“i was just wondering. and no, i don’t like anyone. do you,” he asked, looking down at you.

“yeah, a little.”

“who?”

“don’t worry about it.”

“tell me who it is.”

“jeonghan, i said don’t worry about it!” you raised your voice at him, sitting up and glaring into his eyes.

“i’m your best friend, i have a right to know!” that’s what set you off. you shot up, throwing the blanket you had over your legs to the ground.

“i don’t have to tell you every little thing about my life just because you’re my best friend! there are some things i just want to keep to myself and you need to understand that. you’re so fucking overbearing and you have no reason to be. i’m my own person, i don’t belong to you. i’m not your girlfriend, i’m not your child, and i’m not your little sister. until you figure out how to be a best friend the right way, stay the hell away from me, you piece of shit.” you turned and sprinted towards your cabin, wiping tears from your eyes. you didn’t really know what you had just done.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

“well that didn’t work out,” jungeun sighed.

“no shit, sherlock,” seungkwan spat sarcastically.

“what are we gonna do?” jinsoul asked worriedly. seungkwan shook his head and shrugged.

“i have no idea. but i do know one thing.”

“what’s that?”

“step three was a total failure.”

prev. // next

masterlist

[camp-campus-universe]

Camp Campus AU: Part 2

Finally! It’s here, after like a week! This took longer than I thought it would, these characters are really hard to draw but I think I’m pretty satisfied with what I have right now. Since I finished this, that also means I dedicate more time to asks, specifically those that requests drawings! That also means I can focus on drawing comics and stuff revolving around their relationships, which I’m excited. I’m really excited to continue with this project and see it grow, and I’m so glad you’re all here to see it with me! You have no idea how grateful I am for all of the love that you’ve all sent so far! Thank you so much. Anyway, without further ado, here we go!

Maxwell/Max : Like many of his peers, Max hasn’t changed much since his time at Camp Campbell. Max is still as vulgar as ever and maintains his pessimistic outlook on life. However, many people think its all just an act now to keep up his reputation. Since Camp Campbell, Max’s life has honestly taken a turn for the better. He has a healthier home life, loyal companions, and Mr. Honeynuts. He is generally happier than he was 7 years prior. The only inner conflict Max truly struggles with now are his budding feelings for his best friend and whether or not he wants to jeopardize their friendship. Also Max is often teased for his “baby” hands, they’re really really small. 

Cornelius/Neil : Intelligent, cocky, and overly sarcastic, Neil plays the role of the parent when it comes to handling Nikki and Max. Unlike his friends, Neil was the only one who matured both physically and mentally and feels as if its his job to make sure Nikki and Max don’t wind up killing someone else or themselves. As mentioned before, Neil and Nikki remained close even after each summer brought an end to their Camp Campbell experience. The reason being his dad and Nikki’s mom eloping and combining the families. While Nikki is eager to invite Neil into her life as the older brother she never had, Neil harbors a sort of resentment towards his dad as a result of his parents’ divorce. Although he is glad to spend time with Nikki as well, Neil is still consciously struggling with his parents’ divorce and can’t help but to think that Candy is a homewrecker, even though he had admitted before that his parents’ relationship was awful. Outside of his home life, Neil can be a bit stuck-up and act like a know-it-all at times. He still harbors a deep loathing for Harrison, now mostly because Harrison claims to be a flat-earther. He’s also still incredibly annoyed by Space Kid, although he has no reason to be. Neil also runs a tutoring business at school in order to make a profit, but unfortunately for him (Or maybe fortunately) Tabii’s his only reoccurring customer. Neil is also Erin’s vice president in the Student Council and they seem to make a great team. He also has custom-made glasses because his nose is so fucking big.

Preston Goodplay : Preston is the stereotypical school thespian. Like at Camp Campbell, he’s outrageous and posses a larger than life attitude. He’s both over-dramatic and overemotional, but refuses to take any form of criticism. Preston is often cast as a main role in any school production and even takes it upon himself to critique his underclassmen in the drama department. Despite coming off as a total wacko, Preston is very talented and each performance that he gives is full of energy. Preston is very particular about his passion and is quick to anger if things don’t go his way. Preston acknowledges his relationship with his of his Camp Campbell peers, but doesn’t really willingly share his interest with any of them because of his fear that they might fuck it all up. However, he and Nikki do bond over some musicals that they both enjoy, although Nikki is usually more interested in the violent parts than the actual plot. 

Rudolph “Dolph” Houston : Dolph is the youngest of the cast and the only underclassmen in their friend group. Dolph continues to remain in high spirits and prefers to think positively than reflect upon the negative when faced with difficult situations. After High school, Dolph plans on attending a local Art College in order to truly embrace his career as a professional artist. Growing older, Dolph, like any other boy, went through puberty and grew facial hair. However, he ended up accidentally shaving it in an incident at Camp Campbell one summer and it never grew up correctly after that. Although an innocent mistake, the uncanny resemblance to Hitler disgusts Neil and causes him to keep his distance. Ironically being the youngest of the group, Dolph is a good friend with sole senior Ered. Dolph, like Nikki, has a great admiration for Ered and respects for activism. Using his artistic talent, Dolph often agrees to make protest signs for Ered or even help her vandalize the town to get a message across. Overall, Dolph is the same sweet boy he was years ago. 

Neil Armstrong Jr./Space Kid : Space Kid is just as optimistic and upbeat as he was before. However, he’s also gotten a lot smarter. Inspired by his great grandfather, Neil Armstrong, Space Kid decided to take up an internship at NASA and since then has put a lot of focus on his grades. Much to Neil’s annoyance, Space Kid’s GPA is practically the same as his, which is impressive. Although, the constant work has taken a toll on him and has made him absolutely exhausted. His exhaustion explains why he comes to school dressed comfortably in pajama pants (NASA merch of course TM) everyday. But regardless of overworking himself, Space Kid still tries his best to put on a happy face for his colleagues, even if they don’t appreciate it. 

Harrison : Exerting the same confidence and pride as before while still upholding his magical title, Harrison is the school’s sole illusionist. Although now his tricks aren’t seen as that impressive anymore among his peers, Harrison often attends parties and other small events and shows off his miraculous talent. He hopes that one day he’ll be discovered and whisked away to a life of fame and fortune. Harrison is kind to practically everyone he meets, but his rivalries with Neil and Nerris remain very alive. As a way to annoy Neil, Harrison often lies and says that he’s a Flat-Earther with no intention of listening to Neil’s explanation as to why the Earth is round. Harrison also rivals Nerris not only in magical skills, but also in opinions. As a die hard Harry Potter fan, Nerris had solely read the books and reluctantly turned to the films but found them to be distasteful. However, Harrison had never read the books and enjoyed the effects that the movies had, claiming that they’re superior. And by saying this, the two renew their fierce opposition to each other, but no one can stay mad at each other forever. Having a mostly positive attitude, many might not believe that Harrison actually has a secret, one that lies beneath his iconic white gloves. But it’s too soon to know for sure what it is yet. 

Gaylord “Nurf” Nurfington : Nurf ended up growing into a model citizen. After many anger management classes and corrective punishment, Nurf has finally turned his life around in the right direction. He and his mom currently live together and support each other, trying to rewrite their bad decisions from the past. Nurf often participates in volunteer work as well as lead a therapy group. He has also experiemnted more with his own identity and is comfortable admitting that he is in fact Bisexual. Nurf is also Quarterback for the school’s team and is known as one of their best players, alongside Nikki. Even though he is on his way to becoming an ideal person, Nurf still displays some aggressive tendencies and is very overprotective of his friends from Camp Campbell. 

The Wood Scouts (Billy “Snake” Nikssilp/Edward Pikeman/Jermy Fartz/Stephen van Petrol) : The Wood Scouts don’t play a particularly large role in this AU, but they still exist in this universe. Edward’s leader status has deteriorated in the group and has become co-dependent on Jermy and his newfound popularity. Jermy had gotten a major glow-up over the last Summer and is now considered to be the hottest guy attending the school. Because of his popularity, Edward now clings to Jermy in a one-sided friendship and uses his popularity as a way to elevate his own confidence (he wants clouts lmao).Snake and Petrol have both noticed this behavior from Edward and are disgusted by his attachment to Jermy. Edward often neglects his friendship with the two and refuses to associate with them. Snake still has a small crush on Tabii, but understands that she is completely invested in Neil and wants what’s best for her. Petrol plans to enroll in the military after graduation. He also struggles to find shirts that fit him.

David & Gwen : Here they are! In all of their glory! Unfortunately this time around, David and Gwen don’t play as large of a role in the campers’ lives, but are still actively present in this AU. Summers back, David had fully encouraged Gwen to leave Camp Campbell in search for other job opportunities in the hopes of making her a happier person. With some persuading, she eventually left and the two had little contact with each other since. Since then, David has been running the camp by himself. Now David is the proud father of one. And that one is Max. David had officially adopted Max a few summers ago to help him out of his bad family situation and now lives his life as a proud suburban dad. David then started to rely on Max to help him co-counsel the Camp during the summer, because he though it’d be a great father/son bonding experience and the rest is history. When he’s not a happy-go-lucky camp counselor during the summer, David spends the rest of his time as a Dental Assistant because he loves nothing more than to see people smile. Gwen, however, didn’t find the happiness she thought she would after leaving Camp Campbell. Searching for jobs endlessly, Gwen eventually was hired as a high school guidance counselor but was fired months after because of a incident where she made a student cry hysterically. Gwen was then stripped of her title and sentenced to a secretary position. Although thankful she still has a job, Gwen is as miserable as ever and has to deal with the kids she once knew from Camp Campbell. Most of her time is spent with Max, purely because he’s given a detention every other day, and she couldn’t hate her life more. Hopefully one day Gwen will find the fortune she deserves.  

[dipshithqs]

☠ ◞ ashton moio . 23 . cismale . he/him . › is that rocco mena i see walking through the campgrounds ? i can’t believe that the sagittarius is spending their summer here . i heard that MOUSE is a pizza delivery boy when they’re at home in chandler , arizona . but while they’re here , i’ve seen them stuffing his face while humming all night longer by sammy adams . i’ve called them the village idiot but that’s only because of their PLAYFUL and DIMWITTED tendencies . apparently , they’re back at camp silver lake this year because he missed the place . ‹ played by t , he/they , 18+ , mst . ›

INTRODUCTION

name. rocco age. 23 birthday. 11/23 sexuality. heterosexual

EXTENDED

full name. rocco spencer mena pronunciation. ROCK-oh SPEHN-suhr meh-NUH meaning of name. “rest” aliases. mouse, ,rocky, roc gender. cismale pronouns. he/him species. human zodiac sign. sagittarius hometown. chandler, arizona occupation. pizza delivery boy/camp counselor label. the village idiot faceclaim. ashton moio

RUNDOWN

🍕 a Very Dumb™ 🍕 obsessed w/ rap/hip-hop and constantly tries to write his own songs 🍕 super bad at writing but actually a decent rapper 🍕 generally liked by the kids ,, , mostly bc they can get away w/ a lotta shit w/ him 🍕 pinterest board 🍕 has been a pizza delivery boy fr 3 years 🍕 was a clerk n a babysitter before that 🍕 never taken seriously 🍕 loves energy drinks 🍕 still lives w/ his parents 🍕 developed a panic disorder n started getting panic attacks at 13 ,, , after his first run at camp silver lake 🍕 Would Rather Be Sleeping 🍕 bit of a momma’s boy 🍕 spotify playlist 🍕 a Good Choice if all you wanna do is sit around n eat cheetos all day 🍕 been skateboarding since he was 9 🍕 was close friends w/ 3 out of the 10 kids that disappeared 🍕 parties like a frat boy

QUESTIONS

why are they labeled as the trope that you applied for ? remember that kid in class that used to sit at the table during arts and crafts time just eating glue and putting stickers on his face ? that was mouse ... . ... and he hasn’t changed, ,,,he’s labeled the village idiot ‘cause homeboy is dumb as dirt ! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! !! a safety hazard. w/ the kinda luck he has too,,, he’d end up getting someone else ( along with himself ) killed ,,, fortunately, , where he lacks intelligence ... . n luck ,, ,  he makes up for in friendliness who are some of their character inspirations ? ( bonus points if you list some horror movie or television show characters ) gOd i wish i had more characters frm horror movies/tv but highkey philip j. fry from futurama, , a dash of charlie kelly from it’s always sunny in philidelpha,, touch of michael kelso from that ‘70s show minus the narcissism ( tho mouse has his moments ), ,,,, , andy dwyer from parks and recreation ,, , lowkey xander harris from buffy the vampire slayer do you think they’d run into danger or run away from it ? it depends tbh, ,,but probably run away , ,, like 93% of the time he’d run away what are the worst parts of their personality ? o god he is so. .. .. .. .. .. .... ..... ..so dumb, ,,fatally dumb, ,, , keep-your-distance dumb,, ,, actually making him annoying at times ( especially in serious situations ) ,, , n he can b V lazy so asking him to do. .. ... Anything .. ... can b such a Chore, ,, this makes him appear selfish at times,,, as well what are some connections that they would have formed at camp the first time they were around ? his main focus would’ve probably been the boys at camp the first go around, ,, since he was just set on having fun w/ a group a friends n girls just seemed Annoying at the time,,, , so BROS !!!!!! [ insert me and the boys meme here ] there’s a possibility he’d gotten a hardcore crush at camp the second go around ( at 14 ) tho are they nervous about returning back to camp silver lake ? why or why not ? noooooo he is v much Excited to b returning,, , thanks to his good ol’ ‘ subconsiously blocking out tramatic experiences ’ method ,, ,albeit ... .. . he didn’t expect to come back ,, , but couldn’t resist what’s their favorite scary movie ? so hard !!!! he’s def more into comedy or cartoons than scary or gore but he can b down fr a good funny horror ,, ,,, probably tucker and dale vs evil finally, what are some connections you’d like for them to have ? ( please list a minimum of three ) would fckn Love something along the lines of those two guys/heterosexual life-partners (shaggy/scooby, jay/silent bob, monty/jasper, etc) pLease ,,, might b pushing it but maybe something like cloudcuckoolander’s minder ?? listen .. ... ... ..he’s gonna die Quick w/o a smack whenever he tries to do smthn stupid (n thts all th time fjds),, !!! just friends !!! r smthin like it,, , def can see him crushing on someone, ,trying to hit on ‘em,,, , pulling out those cheesy pick up lines n they just Do Not Want , ,,,, ,lbh he’s not bf material, ,, ,, ok but i'm down fr aaannnnyyyytttthhhiinnngggg tho honstly it’s cool to just come up w somethin on the fly, ,, pLS HMU !!!!!!!

APPEARANCE

height. 5′8″ weight. 138 lbs eyes. brown hair. dark brown race. hispanic/latino nationality. american complexion. beige build. scrawny voice. x scent. cheese dust,, fruity pebbles, ,,body spray

RELATIONSHIPS

parents. donté + maría siblings. jamie children. none enemies. none ( that he knows of )

MENTAL

education. high school languages. english, spanish disorders. panic disorder habits. eating 'til he passes out, ,taking looooong ass naps ,, ,playing on his skateboard in the cabins ,, ignoring his general duties as a councellor/steering the kids off course

TRAITS

positive. optimistic, supportive, playful, tenderhearted, easygoing negative. lazy, dimwitted, self-indulgent, immature, careless

CHARACTERIZATION

moral alignment. neutral good jung. enfp-a enneagram. the peacemaker four temperaments. phlegmatic tropes. crying wolf, the ditz, buffy speak, dumb is good, too dumb to live, kindhearted simpleton, casanova wannabe, manchild, butt-monkey, the slacker, know-nothing know-it-all, fun personified, extreme omnivore, cloudcuckoolander, adorkable, unfazed everyman, innocently insensitive archetypes. the performer, the caregiver, the rebel aura. red tarot card. the sun

ATTRIBUTES

strength. 3/10 dexterity. 4/10 magic. 0/10 cunning. 2/10 willpower. 4/10 constitution. 8/10

INTELLECT

musical-rhythmic intelligence. 6/10 visual-spatial intelligence. 2/10 verbal-linguistic intelligence. 3/10 logical-mathematical intelligence. 1/10 bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. 3/10 interpersonal intelligence. 6/10 intrapersonal intelligence. 5/10 existential intelligence. 6/10 naturalistic intelligence. 2/10