#listen. it makes sense why they still have the same hair as normal in the context of the set's event story...

[flowerakatsuka]

[ messy ass sprite edit ] youkai au, but if it was cooler & sexier ( aka they let these losers have anything besides their fuck ass bowl cuts. )

[cheenapri]

Transactional [Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x Reader]

Day one

Summary: Illumi had decided to spoil you for once, little did you know how much it would cost you in the end.

Word count: 7.6k

Notes: yandere, kidnapping, gender neutral reader, unhealthy relationships, unbalanced power dynamics, mentions of past abuse, Illumi is kind of an asshole but when is he not, reader is not having a good time

Day two + three Day four + five

Shit.

Why didn’t you figure this out sooner?

You had deluded yourself into believing that maybe he felt bad, that he had actually changed for the better, for your wellbeing, that he actually wanted to treat you for once just to make you happy.

Of course not.

There’s always a catch. It was chiefly for his benefit under the guise of strengthening the involuntary relationship you had with him.

“Fate brought you to me. And thus, it is my duty to protect you.” he explained over and over during his many lectures, trying to drill it into you. 

He had only given the illusion of change.

You held your breath, his body looming over you with one hand interlaced with your own and the other straddling your hip to keep you still. He left bite marks on your neck, too rough and inexperienced to be interpreted as anything affectionate, though what he intended, blood quick to seep out of the wounds. He had slowly lapped it up, taking far too long for it to be seen as any sort of foreplay. A part of you wondered if he changed his mind and decided to cannibalize you instead. 

He didn’t really care how strange his actions were, though. He had you right where he wanted you — where you should’ve been long ago. He moved like he was following a script; his long, black hair draped down as he went in for more “love bites”. His face was expressionless as always, cementing just how empty this relationship was. How did he develop such a twisted sense of love?

You question why he even bothered preparing you for this, though you appreciated it for once, as he took the time to organize a five day vacation with you – or rather order the butlers to organize it. What was the point? Everything was lifeless and awkward, just like back at the estate. Was this the only sense of normality he was willing to give you? 

Your mind recalls when it was first announced to you, it was through your appointed butler, Shiori. Shiori was around the same age as you, chosen deliberately to increase your chances of opening up to her. He gave her the task, having her inquire about your likes and dislikes, favorite hobbies, movies, fashion taste and more just so he could surprise you with it later. You assumed he’s either too awkward or doesn’t care enough to learn about your interests directly from your own mouth.

Sitting at a white desk in your prison of a master bedroom, you assembled a DIY house kit. It was a little greenhouse, the tediousness of it giving you something to do while you tried to maintain your sanity. The room was windowless, the walls soundproof, and there was only one door, a titanium maximum security door that could only be opened with his permission. A security camera with a speaker loomed above you, seemingly always pointing directly at you.

You try not to think about how many times he’s watched you through that camera.

The distant sound of one of the security gates opening catches your ears. Someone’s coming. 

You set the tweezers down, heart quickening as you continue listening. It doesn’t take long for the door to be unlocked, the multiple clicks ringing throughout the silent room. Audible footsteps could be heard, causing you to relax a little as that was your indication it wasn’t him. You turn as Shiori emerges, swiftly locking the door behind her and standing with her white gloved fingers interlaced neatly in front of her. She smiles at you and you return a half hearted one. 

“Good evening, Master (Name).” she bows her head with formality, her short brown and blonde hair briefly falling over her face. She straightens up again and quickly fixes her hair. “The Master has a message for you. You are to freshen up and dress yourself, you will be escorted outside shortly.”

Your interest immediately piqued. You had only been outside of this room once since you got here – when you attempted your first escape. It was during a time when you had a different assigned butler named Junpei. Junpei had fallen for you in their short time taking care of you, bonding with you in ways no other butler would ever be able to. They were genuine, they actually cared about you and your well-being rather than what their employer had tasked them with. There were no cameras in the room at the time so the two of you made plans to escape whenever they visited under the guise of wanting to keep you company. Unfortunately for you, your captor had already planned for something like this, though he didn’t think anyone had the gall to actually up and do it. Both your and Junpei’s heart dropped to your feet when you saw him standing menacingly outside the first security gate. He was silent, but his bloodthirsty aura spoke for him. You soon found out what it sounds like to physically rip someone apart with bare hands. You actually thought you'd die that night as you found yourself unable to breathe or even think amidst his extreme, malicious aura, eyes widening further when he questions if you truly loved Junpei. You never want to see him like that ever again. 

You were let off with a broken ankle and no one spoke of the incident again. 

Shiori could see your confusion mixed with awe. “That is all I can tell you, Master (Name). It would be best for you to begin preparing yourself now.”

You slowly stood up, looking at your project for a moment as you pondered what he may have been planning. This was strange. He definitely wasn’t rewarding you for good behavior. You’ve already tried that route of buttering him up in hopes he’d let his guard down; he, in fact, did not and you were punished for dishonesty. How would he know what true love was anyway?

You make your way to the large, luxury bathroom, turning on the warm water and letting the shower run for a bit. You hear Shiori’s footsteps through the door, assuming she’s going through your wardrobe and picking your outfit at his request. You hate him. 

You slowly stepped into the tub, the warm water embracing you like a comforting hug. Hot showers restored a bit of your sanity. You liked to stand there and allow the water to splash onto you, imagining you were anywhere but in this hellhole. Shiori, however, encourages you to pick up your speed, well aware of your tendency to reminisce in the shower for far too long. You sigh, stepping out of the tub and finishing your routine. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror, not wanting to see what months of stress had done to your features. You threw on a fluffy robe before leaving the bathroom. There was an outfit sprawled out on the bed, one you knew he really liked on you though he’s never admitted it, only staring longer than he should.

“Is this some kind of special event?” You ask sarcastically.

It’s a rhetorical question, but Shiori humors you regardless.

“The Master is in a good mood today.” she smiles gently, her voice somewhat monotone. 

She reminded you of him in a way. Why did she even choose to work here? You stare at the outfit for a moment, reluctant to even touch it. Shiori notices your uneasiness, fully understanding your anxiety but feigning ignorance nonetheless. “Is something the matter, Master (Name)?”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Your anxiety continues to build. Everything in your strange, unstable relationship with him has been purely transactional. Want dessert? Speak kindly to him. Want a new video game to play? Butter him up but be careful not to overdo it, there’s only so much dishonesty he could allow. Want the privilege of having a full belly for the next three days? Behave. Do everything he says without question, regardless if you have to swallow your pride. So despite all of this, why was he suddenly treating you so graciously? Allowing you to leave your prison cell masterfully decorated to resemble a bedroom belonging to a ten million dollar mansion?

Shiori chuckles a bit. You’re aware of how disingenuous it sounds, but you don’t comment on it. “You shouldn’t worry yourself, Master (Name). The Master has been planning this for a while now, I’m sure you will enjoy yourself.”

Great, now you’re worried Shiori has said too much. You’re no stranger to how strict the Zoldyck family is with their servants, how strict he must be with Shiori. You think of what happened to Junpei again, of the desperate pleas that fell upon deaf ears as he continued to mutilate them, how his expression seemed more uncanny than usual.

Shivering at the thought of it, you drop the topic, not wanting to continue to allow her to dig her own grave but grateful for the hints. You remove your robe, ignoring Shiori’s presence as you’ve changed in front of her countless times, and put on the outfit along with your assigned shoes. 

Shiori confirms that you’re ready before the two of you move to stand in front of the large security door. To say you were apprehensive was an understatement. Perhaps this was your chance to finally escape? No, that would be stupid. Obviously he’d already accounted for that, most likely had medical professionals on standby in case he needed to break your ankle again. Maybe he’d break both of them this time or even saw your legs off. You wouldn’t put it past him.

The multiple clicks of the locks could be heard again before the door was pulled open, multiple butlers on the other side. Shiori steps out and you’re hesitant to follow, not wanting to give away how eager and ready to bolt you were. Not like you could anyway, not with five highly skilled butlers watching your every move. 

Not a word was spoken as they escorted you through the two security gates, your eyes stinging when sunlight poured over you. 

You’re outside. 

You’re actually outside.

You would scream and cry if the situation was different, falling to your knees and feeling the grass on your hands in your frenzied state. 

You look around, taking a mental note of every little thing. You could see the Zoldyck’s mansion in the distance, far away from your separate living structure. Good. 

“Eyes forward, (Name).”

The sudden order breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whips forward while your eyes move to look at the source of the voice. It was a taller, older lady with pink, pigtail type hair. She must’ve been serving the Zoldycks for a long time. She’s silent, giving you a stern look before turning forward again. You fight the urge to look around, to run even, as you’re led through the forest that surrounds the estate.

“Where are we going?” you couldn’t help but ask. Your voice is somewhat soft and timid, but it’s clear they all heard you. 

“It’s just up ahead, Master (Name).” Shiori answers, her hands now folded behind her.

You’re taking in as much information as you can without actually looking around, taking note of the distance between the Butler’s Quarters and your prison cell. Approximately one hundred fifty seven steps, you’ve been counting. An additional two hundred seventy four steps from the Butler’s Quarters to the front gate. Would you even remember this information?

One of the butlers effortlessly pushes open the giant front gate, the feat reminding you just how weak you truly are. Those gates weigh four tons and the bigger gates above it are many times heavier. 

You can’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. A part of you fully believed he had come to his senses and was releasing you like some wild animal, throwing you off of the property and leaving you to fend for yourself. Surely it would be better than going back to that room. 

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case. Instead of throwing you out and shutting the gate behind them, the butlers led you to a black Mercedes truck sitting in wait.

Your head hurts. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Typical reaction when you know he’s near. You could just die right now. You knew you were bound to see him again, but that doesn’t repress the dread it fills you with.

He’s staring at you through the tinted windows, you can’t see him — you just know it. You don’t want to see him, you haven't had enough time to mentally prepare; you’ll never have enough time to mentally prepare. Shiori steps ahead of you, opening the passage to hell as the Devil himself sits patiently, his black, empty eyes gazing upon you.

You nearly vomit.

You swallow hard, holding your breath in an attempt to mellow out your facial features as you climb into the backseat. You didn’t acknowledge him yet, slowly buckling your seatbelt and staring at Shiori with widened eyes as she shuts the door, sealing you inside with that monster.

It’s suffocating.

Overwhelming.

You forgot to breathe.

Sucking in sharp breaths, you shut your eyes tightly. The silence is deafening. He’s waiting on you. For once.

“H-hello… Illumi.” saying his name was the equivalent of swallowing a cup of hydrochloric acid. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth, pains your throat, your stomach, everything. 

Illumi hums in approval. “Hm. I’m thankful you hadn’t forgotten your manners, (Name). I thought I’d have to discipline you sooner than I anticipated.” you hear him shift, surely turning to fully face you. “I won’t need to, right?” his monotone voice does your ears a disservice despite its smoothness.

“No.” you quickly wipe your eyes, knowing how much he hates seeing your tears. 

You finally force yourself to look up at him, his piercing, cat-like eyes filling you with the unwavering desire to do something drastic. Maybe throw yourself out of the car when it’s moving and hope it runs you over, killing you in the process. 

You look away just as quickly, tightly gripping your pants to quell the need to gouge your eyes out. At least you wouldn’t have to look at him then. He shifts again, facing forward but not looking away from you. “I’ll assume you’re overwhelmed. You’ve missed me so much you don’t know how to convey it.”

“I didn’t miss you. I actually had hoped you died and I’d never have to see you again.” is what you would say if you were fond of getting the life strangled out of you. Instead, you stay silent, staring at your hands intertwined on your lap. 

“What have you been getting up to?”

Shouldn’t he already know? Shiori is his human security camera plus the actual security camera he has in your enclosure. What are you even supposed to say to this? You’ve been rotting in bed and crying your eyes out because you can’t leave? You had thought of creative ways to end your own life? He’d have you restrained to your bed for all eternity if you mentioned that last one. 

“Nothing of interest.” is all you say.

“Tell me. I want to hear it.”

Bastard’s trying to force conversation. 

“I’m working on that greenhouse project Shiori had given me-”

“I had given you.” he corrects. Silence falls over the two of you as the car finally begins to drive off. 

Illumi was always out on missions or some other job, how were you supposed to know it was a gift from him? You wouldn’t have touched it otherwise, preferring to rot in bed than encourage him in the slightest. You’re actually thankful for his extended time spent away doing fuck all, not seeing yourself surviving if you had to physically endure him day and night constantly. Hell, you were barely keeping your composure just sitting next to him and you’d only seen him for two minutes. 

“Thank you.” not knowing what else to say, you simply thank him, hoping he’d be satisfied with just that and leave you alone. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’ve been doing?”

Of course he doesn’t.

“Killing people?” you state the obvious, hoping he wouldn’t interpret that as you trying to be smart. Assassinating people is his job, it only makes sense to assume that’s what he’s been doing. You wish he’d kill you and get it over with. 

“Naturally. Take a better guess.” what the hell does he want from you? You don’t know anything significant about him to be able to give a good guess. You’re clearly stunted, your lack of a response giving it away. He narrows his eyes slightly, reaching out which causes you to flinch. He retracts his hand momentarily upon seeing your reaction before going in again slowly, softly cupping your chin and guiding your head to look at him. “Do you assume I don’t think about you?”

What? He must be fucking with you.

Illumi brings forth his other hand just as slowly, now gently cupping your face with both. You were always shocked by how smooth and soft his hands were. They’re cold though.

“Answer me.”

His owlish eyes were staring directly into your soul, almost hypnotizing you. You shift your head and look away. If you were as bold as you used to be, you would’ve swung on him by now, turning his gentle hands cupping your face into violent claws gripping your throat. It took many lessons for you to learn that you simply could not fight him.

He backs down and lets go of you when you fail to answer, pulling his hands into his lap again. He was aware of your fear, he found twisted comfort in it, believing it would keep you glued to his side. You glance in his general direction but not at his face. He was wearing that purple outfit again and his long, black hair was as silky as ever.

“Aren’t you curious as to where we’re going?” 

He sure was talkative today; Shiori did mention he was in a good mood. He’s usually very blank, even around you, his supposed partner. It forced you to learn to read his emotions using his micro expressions, tone, silent indicators, and of course aura. Aura was mainly reserved for more intense emotions, ones you should avoid inducing at all costs.

You were always on edge whenever you were around him, and this unusual shift in attitude didn’t help. 

“So where are we going?” you finally ask.

“You’ll see when we get there.”

Motherfucker. 

You don’t respond, looking away from him in favor of staring out of the window. You were seated awkwardly, not fully allowing yourself to relax, not that you could in the presence of Illumi. You could almost drown him out completely if it weren’t for his uncanny staring, something you still couldn’t get used to. He barely blinks; it reminds you of some sort of Creepypasta.

“Talk to me.”

It was an order.

“I don’t know what to say to you.” your voice was quiet. You’re really not in the mood to speak right now, especially not to him. This wouldn’t do, however, as Illumi was determined — something that proves to never end well for you. 

“You can talk about anything you want.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“(Name),” it was a warning, a hint of irritation laced his otherwise monotone voice. “Do you really not have anything to talk about… or do you just not want to?”

You didn’t want to clearly, but you also didn’t want to taste his wrath. 

“Could you tell me about your day?” you chose to interview him instead, hoping that if you got him to talk in length, you wouldn’t have to. He brings his hand up to his chin as if he was thinking, his eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was robbing you of your life energy just by looking at you. 

“My day?” he repeated the question, falling silent for a few moments before speaking once more. “If I told you, that would ruin the surprise.”

You reply with a mere “oh” before looking out of the window once again. 

“(Name).”

He’s never been this persistent for your attention before. All the times he’s returned home and “spent time” with you mainly consisted of the two of you sitting in silence while he watched you do nothing; an occasional short and awkward conversation. It felt more like he was being forced to interact with you rather than wanting to on his own volition, despite him being the one keeping you there. 

“I’m sorry, Illumi.” 

You only said his name when you were trying to soothe him, hoping to avoid consequence. He knew that, but he wouldn’t admit that it indeed worked. The slight drooping of his shoulders betrayed him every time, however. 

He doesn’t accept nor reject your insincere apology, choosing to silently savor your calling of his name. You will never understand him.

“I answered you, now it’s your turn to talk. Tell me about your home life.”

This question immediately raised flags. He’s never asked you something like this, let alone allow you to cry about it. You look at him, eyes slightly widen for a brief moment. Was he only bringing this up to bait you into talking? “Don’t you already know everything about me?” 

He indeed did. He made it known to you that he’d stalked you for five months before making his move, talking about it as if he was stating what he had for lunch. He had no sense of morality, no awareness as to how his extreme actions affected others. He’s insane.

You’ve noticed a slight change in his stare. You’re pissing him off.

“I want you to tell me.”

“Uh,” you quickly scrambled for things to say, “I had my own house and car as well as a really good high paying job.” you used “had” for a reason. You were positive that all your assets were repossessed when search parties couldn’t find you and weeks were flying by without a single clue regarding your whereabouts. Illumi keeps staring, quietly pressing you to continue. 

“I had a really sweet dog.” you used “had” again. You don’t recall all the details of that night, only that you had gotten a rude shock when you woke up to a strange man in your bedroom. Surely you would have woken up sooner if you heard something happen, but you didn’t. You decided to ask what you were always afraid to ask before, taking advantage of this moment to finally get closure. “Are… are they okay? My dog?”

Your hesitation was obvious. Nothing good ever happened whenever you brought up members of what he refers to as “your past life.” you were positive he intended for you to talk about things you did alone rather than actual people or living beings you connected with. They didn’t exist anymore, according to him. They don’t matter. Don’t talk about them. 

“Your dog is dead.” 

You’d been preparing for this moment for months now, but the bluntness of his answer still hit you like a truck. “H-huh?”

“Your dog is dead.” he repeated again with no sense of remorse. ”I didn’t want to risk it alerting you to my presence, so I killed it.”

Something felt off that night, your dog was more anxious than usual, pacing back and forth and staring out certain windows. They even refused to go outside when you tried to let them out, their tail tucked between their legs and fur standing on edge. You should’ve known. You should’ve taken them and ran.

It was even worse that you also ignored all those strange people you had met that week. They all had a gold piercing sticking out of some part of their head, almost like a needle. Their words were slurred and their movements puppet-like as they asked you unsettling questions. “Do you have a romantic interest?” as well as  “Do you have any exes?” and “Do you live alone?”

That should’ve been your sign to get the hell out of there. 

Illumi tilts his head and watches you attempt to bottle your emotions. Your hands gripping the fabric of your pants tightly as you bit your lip, your heart was hurting. You’d already mourned for your dear pet, assuming that killer had taken their life when he broke into your house, but still having slight hope that he had spared them. 

Why had he even bothered to answer your question let alone allow you to ask it?

He doesn’t initiate anymore conversation for the rest of the car ride, thankfully, allowing you to simmer in your emotions. That doesn’t mean he averts his attention from you, though. 

The car finally pulls into a parking lot belonging to a grand, luxurious hotel. You’re as confused as you are shocked. The parking lot is empty aside from several black Mercedes trucks holding Zoldyck butlers and presumably cars belonging to the hotel’s employees. It’s a normal working day and this is a well known, upscale hotel, so why was it so empty? 

Illumi looks away from you for the first time since you’ve entered the car, pulling the door’s handle and exiting the vehicle. You didn’t move, you’re too afraid to, you didn’t want to make the wrong move. 

Shiori approaches your side of the truck, but Illumi steps in front of her, opening the door for you and holding out his hand. You slowly unbuckled your seatbelt and attempted to slide past him, he only grabbed you and placed you back into the car before extending his hand again, silently commanding you to take it. He took note of your blatant disobedience, but said nothing, deciding against giving you a much desired punishment. He took what he considered to be a softer approach, giving you a chance to correct your mistakes. 

Feeling as though he’s one inconvenience away from breaking you, you hesitantly take his hand. His grip was firm, his assistance useless. He ignored your attempt at pulling your hand free the second your foot touched the ground, choosing to let go only after both feet were firmly planted. 

Illumi doesn’t explain the situation as he begins walking with you in tow, Shiori and some other butlers trailing behind the both of you. Butlers were all over the place actually, standing guard as if this was a maximum security prison rather than a hotel. You feel like they’re all watching you, fully expecting you to try something in vain. You don’t blame them, if you had super speed, you would’ve run off by now. 

The hotel was completely vacant of people, aside from more butlers and concerned hotel employees. As you enter the lobby, your eyes lingered on the receptionist, praying they had seen your missing person’s report months earlier; if it had even been reported as such. They only look down, guilt seemingly spread across their face. Were they threatened or perhaps even paid off to stay silent? 

Who knows.

The silence was louder than the shuffling of the butlers’ footsteps or the tune of the faint jazz music coming from the ballroom. A butler approaches Illumi and informs him that all preparations were ready, earning them a nod in response. You silently follow as the both of you are led away, the uneasiness on your face evident to anyone who dared to look at it. 

The butler soon stops in front of a particular door far at the end of a long hallway. The space felt liminal, you’d almost think you’d gotten sucked into a different reality if the two people next to you weren’t present. The butler bows slightly before leaving you and Illumi alone. He looked at you, like he was trying to read your expression, before twisting the door’s handle and revealing the room’s interior. 

He must’ve paid a fortune. The room was large, decorated with luscious furniture you couldn’t even begin to think about affording. There was a king size bed in the middle of the room, a flatscreen TV almost as wide as the bed propped on the wall in front of it, a glass sliding door leading to a balcony on the far right, and a lounge chair in the corner to say the least. 

You awkwardly step into the room, hugging yourself as you attempt to make sense of the situation; taking note of the clicking of the door’s lock. 

“Well, here we are.”

His lack of enthusiasm spoiled the mood. Not that the mood was bright anyway.

“So… what’s the point of this?” your voice was a bit low and shy. He didn’t like it, he’d have to chip away at that. He had bigger things to be upset over, however, as you appear, or choose to pretend, to not understand what’s going on. His intentions should’ve been obvious by now. He doesn’t respond right away, causing you to ask yet another ignorant question. “Are we attending some kind of special event?”

“No.” his answer was short, intentionally vague to encourage you to figure it out yourself. Illumi casually moves about the room while you continue to stand in the same spot, presumably checking for himself to make sure that everything was in place. You were on edge, that much was apparent as he stopped a few feet in front of you. “Do you like the room?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I will be back.”

You feel a slight wind as he walks past you, a little too close considering the amount of space around you. You immediately relax once he’s gone, taking a few deep breaths as you cautiously inspect the room. The thought of trying the handle to see if he’d locked it behind him doesn’t even cross your mind, the odds were against you and you knew that. Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try the balcony door, however.

It was locked, just as you’d guessed. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed and resting your head in your hands, you think in vain of a possible escape. Maybe when he leaves you alone again, you could use something to break the glass then use the bed sheets to craft a makeshift rope? The problem with that is the bedsheets wouldn’t serve you as you were several stories off the ground. Your plan didn’t even account for what you’d do if you even reached the ground as you were sure Zoldyck butlers surrounded the premises.

You decided it was best to just roll with it, see where this was going. Maybe you could exploit him as he does seem to be more lenient with you. 

The door clicks and it opens, Illumi standing in the doorway looking in at you, noticing how much more relaxed you appeared to be in his absence. He motions for you to follow and you do so without fuss. 

Following him down the long hallway felt surreal, you couldn’t hear anything aside from your own footsteps as his were completely silent; traits of an elite assassin. You watch as his long, black hair swayed behind him, almost glaring as you study his robotic movements. He doesn’t feel real.

The two of you entered the hotel’s restaurant, it was just as desolate of other patrons as the rest of the place. You were led to a lone, two person table placed next to the glass wall, the table’s decorations stood out amongst the others as its setting included rose petals and candles. 

Corny. You don’t like this.

You take your seat, now being forced to fully face him for who knows how long. You turn your head to the right, looking out of the window. Your breath hitches as you notice people in the far distance. People. Actual people clueless as to what’s happening to you right now. You give Illumi a side stare, his blank yet judgemental one challenging yours.

“Where is everyone?” you couldn’t help but ask despite knowing it was a question he did not want to hear. 

“They aren’t important.”

Why should they matter? They’d only interfere and distract you from what’s important: him. You should only be focused on him and his efforts to please you. 

“So what exactly is this?”

Your inability, or unwillingness, to comprehend the situation was beginning to annoy him. Wasn’t it clear? Did the dim lighting and candles not give it away? The rose petals on the table? The romantic — or what he deemed to be romantic — atmosphere? 

“It’s a romantic dinner.”

He didn’t offer any further details, upset he had to state that it was a date rather than let his efforts speak for him. You were sitting across from him, the two of you were almost completely alone. This was a date.

“All of a sudden, though? You never let me leave that room before.”

“Why does it matter?” his tone was still flat. 

Illumi couldn’t believe you’d question his acts of kindness. He was doing it because he wanted to treat you for once, deciding to take you somewhere appropriate and fitting to your taste. 

“I’m just trying to understand you.” you state, holding your hands together on the table as a self soothing mechanism. 

“You don’t need to understand me.” his voice hinted at the tiniest bit of annoyance. He had no need to explain his actions, he had his reasons and that’s all you needed to know. “Just enjoy the dinner.”

You say nothing as you turn your attention to the only other people present in the room: the butlers standing at the exits and the chefs working in the kitchen. None of them looked at you, their attention focused on anything but. 

“Don’t stare at them. The butlers are simply here to protect you.” his monotone voice made his last sentence sound oddly intimidating. 

You fight the urge to question if it was him they would be protecting you from in the case that you anger him. 

“It feels like the rapture has happened and we’re the only ones left.” you pick up one of the rose petals, inspecting it as an excuse to avoid his gaze. 

“That would be ideal.” 

“Is something bad going to happen to me?” your forward question caused his thin eyebrows to raise slightly.

“Not if you behave. I just want you to enjoy this date.” his tone was a bit softer now, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t, or forced to be, close to him. He didn’t like your anxiousness, worried it would ruin his meticulous yet futile plans to make amends with you. 

You were still on edge as the butlers served a lavish meal to the both of you, your facial features failing to soften as you inspected the food. He was fully aware of just how much damage he’d done to you and he wasn’t going to justify his behavior, only wanting to make you feel better. 

It was hard for him to stay silent, however, as you were continuing to look around and stare at the butlers.

“Is the sight of them bothering you?” the sound of his voice catching your attention. “I could have them move out of view if that would ease your nerves.”

He doesn’t get it. Maybe he pretends not to, choosing to ignore your uncomfortableness with him in favor of deluding himself.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” 

Your words couldn’t come out, you didn’t know what to say. Ask him to get rid of all the unnecessary escorts and open the hotel to the public again as this felt more like a standoff than a romantic dinner? You hated the silence between you, not that you wanted to speak to Illumi, you wanted to hear the chatter of other diners over the classy jazz music, the clinking of utensils as they enjoyed their meal.

“Oh?” he slowly tilted his head, his uncanny expression observing your every move and sound. It’s as if he was daring you to ruin it all with some sort of stupid comment; it’d give him a reason to drag you back to the estate and lock you away for good. 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” you manage to finally say. It just wasn’t worth it.

He continues staring, features unmoving as you assume he’s thinking of various ways to brutally murder you. He only straightens himself.

“I see.” 

You’re internally thankful he dropped it, your shoulders drooping in relief as you watch him continue to eat unnaturally fast, a strange habit of his. When was the last time he’s blinked? You can’t stand him. 

Illumi obviously didn’t believe that you had nothing to share. He knew you well enough to guess that whatever you were about to say would’ve angered him, so you kept quiet in order to avoid problems. Good, you were learning. 

Silence fell over the two of you, increasing the tension in the air. He’d already finished eating, choosing to gaze at you rather than anything else. He was making you lose your appetite, but you somehow managed to finish your meal.

“Would you like dessert?” Illumi inquired, barely giving you enough time to chew and swallow your last bite before asking.

“No thanks.” you don’t explain why. The truth was that you didn’t want to sit in front of him any longer, you were tired of his eyes boring into you. 

“Are you sure?” he tilted his head again, pressuring you for a different answer.

“I’m sure.” 

You wouldn’t budge, much to his dismay. You had unknowingly foiled his plans to spoon feed you a strawberry sundae. 

“Very well.” he doesn’t push any further, only slowly nodding. “Did you enjoy the food?”

“Yummy.” 

Illumi didn’t immediately react to your childish response, only straightening himself after a few moments. He had made sure this dinner would be perfect, planning everything to the last detail, and you’ve shown your gratitude by looking at everything other than him and rating his endeavor with a one word answer. 

He remained still for a few more moments before deciding to ignore your strange behavior once again. He stood up from his seat, looking away from you for the first time since he’s sat down. 

“Let’s go.”

You follow him as commanded, taking clear note of his slight annoyance. He led you to the hotel’s theater, the sound of your footsteps slightly echoing in the large, spacious room. He picks two spots in the center and takes a seat, you follow suit. 

Choosing to stay silent, you don’t ask any questions about what movie the two of you were seeing, only staring forward as the lights turn off and the showing begins. Illumi had carefully selected this movie for you. It was lighthearted and fun, chosen specifically to improve your mood. The date wasn’t meeting his expectations, as you weren’t quite throwing yourself at him, but he was determined to change that. 

You tried your best to ignore his constant glancing in your direction for the entirety of the film. It was as if he was looking for something, for reassurance to soothe his ever growing concerns. He didn’t like your indifference, he didn’t like that he couldn’t tell how you were feeling in detail about his attempts at courtship.

The movie was good, you liked it. Illumi was already staring at you by the time you faced him, the credits rolling on the screen. It was subtle but he still looked upset, the image of you leaning away from him as if you were trying to put as much space as possible between the two of you was still fresh in his mind. 

He would break that physical barrier, desensitize you to his presence.

As you silently walk back to the suite, Illumi suddenly grabs your hand. Your heart jumps into your throat, fully expecting him to crush it as punishment for upsetting him. He stops walking and stares at you when you impulsively try to pull away, not saying a word as he gives you a second to collect yourself. 

You were ruining his passionate act of love. He knew he wasn’t the most expressive, as he was raised to mask his emotions, but his straightforwardness made up for that. You should be happy. This is an act of love. He had done his research — asking his father — and knew what he needed to do in order to please you. He won’t let you spoil it. 

Eventually you somewhat simmer down, still tense in his firm hold. He continues walking, slower this time. He wasn’t even holding your hand correctly as yours was balled into a fist. He didn’t care though, as long as he was holding it.

The night hadn’t gone his way but he had plenty more tricks up his sleeve, optimistic that tomorrow would be better. Illumi would not put up with failure. 

You were in for a ride.

You reach and enter the suite once again, Illumi locking the door behind him. He lets out a sigh and begins to settle down, having no issue kicking his shoes off and changing clothes right in front of you. You, however, move to sit stationary on the lounge chair, staring at the ground to avoid any awkward interactions with your naked “husband”. 

You had no desirable reaction to anything he did, which he found disheartening. You finally look up when he’s fully clothed, watching as he sits on the edge of the bed. He decided to risk it, to ask about your experience. He figured a blunt and bold answer would be significantly better than overthinking and assuming the worst. “Did you enjoy anything I did today?”

Truth be told, you did. You just didn’t like him. Had anyone more deserving taken the time to do this for you, you’d throw yourself all over them. 

“It was the typical Illumi experience.” 

You regretted saying that before it even left your mouth. “The typical Illumi experience” was not a compliment, it was a brutal insult disguised with subtlety. You had just compared his month’s worth of intensive planning and preparing to a regular day being around him back at Kukuroo Mountain. 

Something you didn’t like flashed in his eyes, your fingers nervously grip your pants yet again. What you’d just said was so dismissive, condescending, everything he didn’t want to hear. He turns away from you, looking out of the glass balcony door as he takes several slow and deep breaths. He was collecting himself.

He reasoned in his mind, internally arguing that this was his chance to dissect your feelings and see how he could improve. He turns toward you, expression unreadable. “Elaborate.”

“Am I allowed to express myself?” you ask, your question was legitimately innocent. However, you were saying all the wrong things at the wrong time. 

“You were always allowed to express yourself, you just seem to have a habit of doing it disrespectfully.”

“I’m sorry.” you lower your gaze, apology insincere. 

You don’t know why he’s changed. You can tell that he’s being softer with you. If you said something like that a few months ago, you’d be unable to speak for the next two weeks. 

“Do you harbor resentment towards me?”

That was a rhetorical question. He didn’t want an answer; an answer other than a loud, confident “no” anyways. 

You stay silent, continuing to stare at the ground. He didn’t acknowledge that your silence was your way of saying yes. 

“Are we going back tomorrow?” you ask, changing the subject in order to lessen the heavy atmosphere. 

“Back to Kukuroo Mountain?”

“Yes.”

“No.” Illumi doesn’t provide further details. This trip won’t end unless it’s on a good note. “You should get changed.”

He stands up and rummages through the wardrobe, pulling out a silk pajama set. You slowly stand and retrieve it, making your way to the bathroom to change. He assumes you’re just being shy. You eventually come out, having put your dirty clothes into the hamper, before making your way to the lounge chair once again. The lights have been dimmed in your absence.

He was sitting up in bed, halfway under the blankets, staring at you expectantly. You didn’t want to come to terms with the reality that you had to sleep in the same bed as him; that fact wasn’t lost on him. It was obvious you were avoiding having to deal with the inevitable conclusion of the night by seeking comfort on the lounge chair. He wouldn’t allow you that comfort. “Come to bed.” his tone was flat, it was an order. 

“I’m not tired yet-”

“Come to bed.” he wasn’t hearing your excuses, only repeating himself while patting the empty space next to him. You look at him with a saddened expression, silently pleading to be let off the hook; the issue is that he’s let you off the hook multiple times today already and he wasn’t planning on letting you rob him of this. “Do as I say.”

Sensing the impatience in his tone, you reluctantly head over to your side of the bed and slide under the blanket, making sure to curl up as close to the edge and as far from Illumi as possible. You face away from him, silently making it clear you weren’t interested in anything other than sleep. He doesn’t comment on this, choosing to stay silent as he thinks to himself. He wanted to hold you, but he knew not to push too far. At least not so soon.

He sighs, continuing to sit up in bed as he watches your sleeping figure. Tomorrow will be a better day, he’ll make sure of it. 

[itsphoenix0724]

Promises (Rhysand x Reader)

Summary: You don't argue with your husband often, and never anything as serious as this. However, some things may be too hard to come back from.

Warnings: ANGST, mentions of Rhys' trauma from under the mountain

Word Count: 1.7k

Part 2

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first time writing for Rhys, but I apologize; this isn't the happiest thing! This takes place during ACOMAF, and I tried to keep it canon accurate. I may have diverged a little though! I really just needed to get some angst out from first week of school stress lol. If you ever want to interact with me my requests are open! As always constructive criticism is very welcome! I tried to makes this a realistic portrayl of real feelings and emotions. I hope you all enjoy even if it stamps on your heart a bit <3

You’re sitting at the dinner table in the Townhouse, nursing a glass of wine, when you feel your Husband’s power rumble into your bones. It normally feels comforting to you, but now all it does is further the knot of anxiety growing in your stomach.

It’s been a long week. 

It was the first time that Rhys had called in his bargain with Feyre. You’ll always be eternally grateful for what Feyre did for your family, for your court, and the entirety of Prythian. It still didn’t stop the ugly jealousy that clawed at your insides at Rhys spending the week away from you with her. Especially after you learned about the dancing. You knew why it had to happen, you really did. He had explained everything to you in the tearful reunion after he returned from under the mountain. 

You hope Amarantha burned in whatever hell she crawled out from. 

“How was your first week,” you take another gulp of wine, trying to drown the spiders crawling up your throat. 

“I think she’s making some progress. Tamlin isn’t even teaching her how to read! Can you believe that? Even after he saw it almost kill her and his supposedly beloved emissary.” He rubbed out the crease forming between his eyebrows, maneuvering around the kitchen as he poured himself a glass of whiskey. “She was paper thin and so so pale.” he shook his head as he knocked back the liquor. 

“You didn’t come home the whole time.” You tried your best to keep the venom tamped down in your voice, you weren’t even really angry just confused. Judging by the way the muscles in his back tensed your endeavor had not been successful. 

You knew he would have to call in this bargain eventually you just didn’t expect him to ignore you the entire time she was here. He could’ve taken you with him, you had even expressed interest in meeting Feyre. You had wanted to thank her personally for everything she did to you and extend an olive branch for her time in your court. Rhys had shut down the idea immediately because he thought she might have been overwhelmed. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” he turned around and looked at you from his spot leaning against the counter. You didn’t look at him, staring straight at the grooves on the table. You sensed the defensive tone immediately. Rhys almost looks like a cat with all the hair raised on its back. Feline eyes sizing you up like he’s about to pounce on you.

“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t have come home to even sleep. When I tried to reach you mind to mind your shields were up.” Your nails dig into the wood, leaving crescent marks in the pine. Rhys doesn’t have an answer for that when you meet his eyes. It almost looks like he’s looking through you instead of at you. 

“I didn’t want to leave her alone in case she tried to jump out a window.” He says the answer matter-of-factly. It’s the same tone you heard him use during the conferences he held with the citizens. He wasn’t exactly brushing you off, but it didn’t feel like he was listening to you either. 

“Why couldn’t you have just told me that?” Your voice cracked. You have been married to Rhys for almost one hundred years. You could tell when he was being shifty, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something from you. Judging from that regretful look in his eye you were correct. 

“I thought you would react poorly. Clearly, I was correct.” The clipped tone is enough to send a white-hot bolt of anger through your body. 

“Do not blame your poor communication skills on me Rhysand.” The glare you fixed him with could have brought the monster that lurks in the bottom of the library to its knees, but Rhys just met your eyes with a steeled look of his own. 

“She needed help. She was begging somebody to come rescue her. She was withering away in the Spring Court! You know how many times I’ve been pulled from bed because she’s vomiting during the night-” Rhys sounded exasperated. But you were tired, so tired. 

“You’ve barely come to bed since you’ve been back.” Your voice was hardly more than a whisper, but the deafening silence that followed your words made it sound like an explosion. You knew it was a low blow. Rhys sometimes couldn’t stomach sleeping in your bed after what Amarantha did to him. After he was startled awake one night a bolt of his power shot your sleeping form out of the bed because, in his nightmare-filled haze, he had mistaken you for her. He had felt awful, and now mostly slept in one of the guest rooms in fear that he would cause serious damage to you. You had tried to convince him, but he knew how powerful he could be, so you relented. 

“You don’t get to throw that in my face right now.” The growl that came from your husband sounded like cold black death. “She needs to be trained. She needs help-” all the pent-up emotion started to boil over inside you. Your airway got smaller, white noise was sounding through your head, and your eyes couldn’t focus on a spot infront of you. 

“I DO NOT CARE WHAT FEYRE NEEDS!” the boom in your voice surprised even you. Rhys took a step back, you rarely even raised your voice, let alone yelled at him. His eyes widened, but his flood of emotions quickly matched yours. 

“SHE SAVED ME! I PROMISED TO KEEP HER SAFE!” The way Rhy’s voice ricocheted off the walls made you flinch. The pure night-kissed power had stolen the warmth from the room and all the air from your lungs. 

“You made promises to me too. Do you remember that?” your voice echoed out with calm fury as you slipped your ring off your finger and held it up to the light. “Do you remember the promises you made to me when you put this ring on my finger?” You didn’t even know where the rage was coming from, You weren’t angry, but it grabbed ahold like cold unforgiving ocean waves and kept pulling you farther into the eye of the hurricane. “You pledged to me your undying loyalty, your faithfulness, your honesty.” That last word coated your tongue in acid. 

It burned you and Rhys as it left your mouth. 

“Do you truly believe I have been unfaithful to you?” his voice grated out like shards of glass. However, in your current state, it seemed more condescending than questioning. 

“I believe you are not being honest with me. I have been married to you for practically 100 years, and have known you even longer. Do you think I don’t know when you’re not telling me something?”  You shot up from your seat and slammed your wedding ring on the table. His violet shield slipped for just a moment to see the hurt flash in his eyes. You haven’t taken that ring off since he gave it to you. 

“You are being irrational.” Rhys tried to step towards you, but you only backed away from him, shaking your head as tears welled up in your eyes. 

“Why are you being so secretive about Feyre? She is engaged Rhys-you took her from her wedding. If she truly needed help why not bring her to Velaris? Why not let her meet me? Why not let her be happy with Tamlin?” The questions kept pouring out but the protective growl Rhysand made at your last statement had you recoiling. He had given himself away. He obviously knew it too, as he tried to step towards you. The tears kept pouring out as you shook your head. “You need to tell me what’s going on. Right now.” Rhys finally hung his head in defeat as he slumped into one of the chairs. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands as he stared at your trembling figure from the other side of the table. 

“She is my mate.” Your eyes widened in horror. It felt like the dinner you made earlier tonight was going to make another appearance on your kitchen floor. “She is my mate and I don’t know what to do.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do?” Your voice was shaking with scarcely contained fury as you stormed up to the table. “I am your wife. I am your people’s queen. What more is there to think about? I thought you loved me.” A new wave of tears washed over you, and you swear you could hear your heart breaking. It was so loud. You wonder if Rhys could hear it too. 

“Of course I love you!” he looked at you with desperation and pleading in his eyes. “It’s just more complicated.” You shook your head at him as your sobs finally flowed out of your body. 

“It shouldn’t be complicated,” you heaved out through the tears “You promised to choose me every day. If you can’t do that I can’t be here.” You turn from the table and march up the stairs. You distantly hear Rhys get up and follow you to your room as you shove clothes inside a bag. 

“What are you doing? You’re not leaving, are you?” His eyes widened in horror as he tried to grab the items out of your hands. “Darling-”

“Do not call me that right now.” You manage to sniff out the words behind the tears. “I just can’t be here if you cannot choose me. There shouldn’t even be a question.” 

“Where will you go?” He at least had it in him to sound concerned about your well-being. 

“I don’t know, anywhere but here.” You shoved the last thing in your suitcase and winnowed away without another word. You left Rhysand in your house, with your ring sitting on the table. He found himself sitting at the kitchen table for the rest of the night, nursing a bottle of whisky and running over the cool sapphire with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t know if you were ever coming back. He didn’t know where you went. 

What the fuck had he done?

[clockwayswrites]

A Broken Sort of Normal- Part 19

WC: 2134, Masterpost

Danny sit up straighter in his chair as he states his name, but Wally can see the wince that Danny tries to hide. Absently, Wally runs through Danny’s schedule of care and when the other will be able to have more pain medication.

“Were you born with powers?” Bruce continues.

“No.”

Wally wants to go to Danny. He wants to tell him that it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that Danny has powers. It doesn’t mater how he got them. It doesn’t matter that Wally didn’t know. None of it matters to Wally; he’s just glad that Danny is still here.

“Are you comfortable explaining how did you got your powers?”

Danny runs his hand through his hair. He’s nervous. “Some of it. The broad strokes. It was a lab accident, because of course there was. My parents are ecto scientists, they study ghosts. They’re not… let’s just say don’t read their research into ghostly behavior. They are brilliant engineers though. They managed to build a portal to the Infinite Realms—”

“Minging knobheads,” John curses quietly.

“—and I was sorta in the portal when it turned on. Which, um, killed me and revived me at the same time. I was electrocuted while my system was flooded with ectoplasm.”

Killed.

Danny had— Danny had died. Again, before, Danny had died. Wally closed his eyes and swallowed around the catch in his throat. He almost never got the chance to know Danny. A hand fit into his and Wally knows instantly that it’s Dick’s. He grips it back tightly. At least he isn’t listening to this alone.

“It’s not so much that I got powers, as that because I’m half dead, I’m half ghost and I can do the things that ghosts can do. Invisibility, intangibility, flight… things like that. Long story short, someone had to stop the ghosts that the portal let through—”

John is up and pacing now. Zatanna doesn’t even try to stop him.

“—so I sort of became the town hero. I went by Phantom. It was… well, you’ve all been there.”

God, Wally wishes Danny didn’t know how that was.

“Kid… did you even have anyone to help you?” Barry asks.

Danny shrugs. “Two friends and eventually Ja… my older sister.. There are a few ghosts that were sometimes allies but ghosts…”

“Ghosts aren’t good or evil, they’ve got obsessions,” John explains into the silence. “Sometimes those obsessions motivate the ghosts in a way that seems one way or another. It only works out for you as long as your needs aligns with their obsession.”

Wally’s mind spins.

“Danny,” Bruce asks with very careful words, “do you have an obsession?”

He searches back through his memories of Danny.

“Yes.”

It couldn’t be anything anyone would see as bad or dangerous.

“Protection. My obsession is protection. It’s not as compelling to me as it is for a full ghost. For me it’s more like a hunger craving or itch, but it is there. It’s a good part of why I became a paramedic.”

Oh. That made so much sense.

“That’s our Danny,” Danna says, softly, from in their group.

“Why did you not simply join us as a hero?” Diana asks.

“Before, well, things were… complicated? There’s this government agency that considers ghosts non-sentient and—”

Danny jerks back in his chair at all the exclamations that rang out in the room at that. It isn’t just a reaction to the sudden noise, Wally realizes, Danny looks startled at being defended.

It breaks Wally’s heart.

“It’s okay!” Danny says over the din. “They were always pretty incompetent, really, even when working with my parents. I never even ended up vivisected or anything!”

Gar clamps a hand over his mouth and mutters. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Danny,” Dianna says his name gently, “have your parents ever attacked you?”

“They don’t know I’m a halfa. They don’t know I’m Phantom,” Danny says. There’s a pleading note to his voice that makes Wally agree with Gar; he’s going to be sick.

“But they’ve attacked Phantom,” Dianna says. It’s not a question, but Danny nods anyways. “Danny, do we need to set up protection for you from your parents?”

“They don’t know—”

“Kid,” Barry interrupts, “what you did was on the news. Like, every news station across the world. I think they know now.”

Danny sits back in his chair. He picks at the already frayed edge of the hoodie. Suddenly he looks small in a way that Wally’s only seen when Danny’s been in the middle of a panic attack. Any strength Danny’s gathered the last few days seems to leave him as his shoulders slump. “Maybe. I guess… I don’t know how they’ll take the news. It’s… maybe. We’ll, um, more than that someone needs to make sure the portal stays closed down. If the ghosts start coming through again…”

The hand Danny presses against his chest shakes. “I’m not as strong as I used to be. I don’t know if my powers will come back still or if this… is what I am now, but my core is weaker than it used to be. If this the way I’ll be now, I won’t be able to fight them off.”

“Are they dangerous?” Bruce asks. “Beyond the morality of their obsession, are they actively dangerous to you?”

“That’s not an easy question. Mostly the ghosts used Amity Park as a new way to fulfill their obsessions. Lunch Lady wants to feed people, which is good, but if you don’t want to eat things can get nasty. Obsessions are like that, they can twist quickly. The ghosts also just like to brawl, a lot of them at least. Some of them would understand if I can’t and back off, but there are others… take Skulker,” Danny says with a wave of his hand, “his obsession is hunting rare game and, well, I’m rare game. He wants to mount my pelt to his wall.”

With an unpleasant noise, Gar dashes from the room. It makes Danny wince and mumble an apology.

Wally is already mentally calling favors to call in to safeguard their apartment, not that he thinks anyone will say no to protecting Danny.

“We’ll make checking on the portal a priority as soon as this meeting is done,” Bruce assures Danny.

“Thank you. I don’t want anyone to be hurt if it gets turned back on.”

“Why has it been off? If it’s off, why would they turn it back on now?” John asks, still pacing.

Danny looks away from the table again. “Because they remember now.”

“The curse?” John asks at the same time Bary asks, “What do you mean remember?”

“I mean they forgot, because, yeah, the curse,” Danny says. He’s back to picking at his sleeve. Everyone gives him time to try and find his words, which he does with a wet laugh. “I was stupid. I mean, I was young, but I still should have known better. I was just… I was having a hard time. My parents were working on a new GIW contract and my friends… team were going off to college… I was going to be alone to deal with the ghosts. I still should have known better. I just wished I could be normal.”

“That’s not wrong, Danny,” Barry says. “We’ve all felt that sometime…”

Danny’s shaking his head. “You don’t understand. You don’t wish in Amity Park.”

“Because of this Desiree?” Zatanna asks.

“Because of Desiree,” Danny confirms. “Some ghosts have very specific powers and those are usually strong powers. For Desiree, it’s… it was reality altering based on wishes. I forgot to never say ‘I wish’.”

After a moment of comprehending silence, Diana asks, “She had the power to make you fully human?”

“No, even borrowing power like I think she did, Desiree couldn’t do that. But that’s not what she needed to do. Normal isn’t a real thing, it’s just societal, you know? She just had to make sure no one remembered I was half dead and, tada, I had a normal life.”

John finally stops pacing and leans against the back of his chair. His cigarette is a mangled mess dangling from his lips. “What was the catch?”

“I wanted to be normal, so I had to stay normal. I couldn’t be noticed using any of my powers or being too ghostly or tell anyone I had died or what things used to be like. If I did— well you all saw what happened,” Danny looks up, finally, right at Wally. “It’s why I couldn’t tell any of you, even if I wanted too. It’s why I couldn’t use my powers to help. As soon as I did, I was good as dead.”

More than ever Wally wants to rush over to Danny’s side. He wants to let Danny know it’s alright that he kept this secret. It doesn’t matter. He settles for what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

“I still don’t know how I survived. As soon as Desiree appeared and took my powers, that should have been it for me. My ghost half can’t survive without them and my human half isn’t alive enough to last by itself. It would be like cutting off a normal person’s oxygen. I should have been ended.”

“We overloaded her,” Zatanna explains.

“Forced all your power— which there was a fucking lot of it— into her at once,” John finished. “She popped like a balloon with too much air.”

“Did you have to describe it that way?” Hal grumbles.

“Oh.” Danny blinks a few times as he took that in. “I guess, okay. I mean, yeah, I was more powerful than a lot of ghosts; something about being a halfa and my state being mutable still. I didn’t think though… right, okay. But how am I still here?”

“When she popped,” John says with a smirk towards Hal, “the air was full of ambient ectoplasm. Flash zapped you, re-started your heart, and the cloud went up like a match in a fart.”

Danny’s face wrinkled up at that. “Ew. But, alright. I mean it was my power first. I guess that…” Danny’s hand comes up to press over his sternum. “I guess that means this is my power level now.”

“And the rest of the curse?” Zatanna asks, leaning forward in her seat.

“Gone. People remember now.”

Wally thought to all the phone messages Danny had been getting in a new light.

“That’s why we need to make sure the portal is closed.”

“As well as that the GIW are shut down and that your parents do not try to harm you,” Diana says with that firm certainty of hers.

“Right,” Danny says after a beat. It’s hard to see how clearly Danny doesn’t consider himself a priority. “And… for the rest of it all?”

Diana tilts her head in question. “The rest of it?”

“I didn’t tell anyone my status. I lied to some of you. Is that…”

“You did what you needed to stay alive and hurt no one.” She holds up a hand to stop any protests from Danny. “While I have no doubt with your heart as it is you do not wish you could have done more, it would have never been asked of you at the cost of your life. You are a hero, Danny, and have been since you joined the Response Team in Central City. You have only continued to prove it by your willingness to act and the honor with which you did so. The Justice League is proud to still have you as your post, as soon as you are recovered.”

Finally the last of the tension drains Danny’s shoulders. “I’ll be happy to get back to it.”

Wally tunes Diana out as she wraps up the meeting.

“I’m going to ask him,” Wally says to Dick, who still has his hand.

“What? Now?” Dick hisses.

Wally watches as Danny shakes Clark’s hand. “Why not? Everyone’s here, like you said had to be.”

“Because it’s a debrief! That’s not exactly the most romantic moment.”

The other Titans are standing around them, waiting for their chance to see Danny. Even Gar is back.

“I almost missed my chance, N. I almost never got to ask,” Wally pleads. “I don’t want to miss it again.”

Dick just sighs and pulls a small case out of his belt. He presses it into their clasped hands before releasing his grip

Wally can feel the smile stretching across his face. “You know me so well.”

Dick just shoves Wally off his chair. “Go get your man. Ghost? Man ghost.”

Laughing, Wally fumbles to his feet and towards Danny.

“Danny!”

Danny who’s still here and alive.

Who smiles like the sun as he turns towards Wally.

“Yes?”

---

AN: I don't know, is it too cruel to end right there? 😇 Don't worry, we'll get an epilogue to hopefully tie the loose ends up in a bow! But this is the last half of the last full chapter! They know! And they still respect and love Danny. He can stop worrying~

You can subscribe to the masterpost here.

[lcriedlastnight]

Oscar confessing his feelings for reader early in the relationship

you and your great mind, anon! tysm.

tw: fem!reader, swears, not spell checked, lmk if anything else.

w/c: 1.9k

the side of oscar’s bed that had been dubbed yours was stone cold. in any other circumstance oscar would be laying there miserable - but tonight he’s got you nestled on top of him so closely it’s almost like you’re trying to get underneath his skin. he’s not complaining.

oscar would love for you to be on top of him more as you were kind of half on him half off. your elbow was digging into his hip bone as you gripped at his sleep shirt, your legs quite literally tangled up in his. he’s uncomfortable but he wouldn’t move for the world. the leg that you could move was running up and down his calf, a weird habit he’s just now found out about you.

your eyes are closed as you lay on oscar’s chest, not really tired just wanting to relax in this safe space. you couldn’t believe you hadn’t done this with him before. you both had what you would call a situationship more than a relationship but it was without all the doubting, dry messages and being left on open that came with a usual situationship. the only thing you guys hadn't really done was go out on a date together, seeing as oscar had been busy with a double header the past two weekends. this was finally his weekend off and he knew he wasn't spending it with anyone else besides you.

“you comfy pretty girl?” oscar asks, moving his hand that was resting on the leg you’d slung over his hips, up to run through your hair. you mumble out some sort of agreement that makes oscar’s heart burst into flames of adoration.

“are you?” you ask back, and although it was a basic question that he’s literally just asked you, oscar felt himself melt at the thought of you caring whether or not he was comfortable. your foot still stroking the skin on his calf. it distracts him.

“i am”. simple but it’s enough to stop you wondering. he feels you nod against him, showing him you were listening. in these moments he has the overwhelming urge to tell you he loves you. he can’t though, you guys have only been seeing each other for two weeks. you aren’t even official yet. if oscar found out you were going on other dates - he’d faint. not that you weren’t entitled to, like he said you weren’t official. you weren’t his girlfriend. he really has no right to love you. not yet anyway.

it scares the australian because you don’t seem to show that your going through the same internal struggles as him. to oscar it seemed like you were happy keeping this casual. keeping it ‘light and breezy’. oscar was not all about the ‘light and breezy’ lifestyle. he’s never done anything in his entire life ‘light and breezy’. but if it’s what will keep you in his life right now then he’ll take it. there’s no way he’s living with himself knowing he could be sitting with you, exactly how you are now , but chooses not to. oscar would brand himself himself insane and check himself into a mental hospital before that ever happened. and so what if you were seeing other guys right now? so what if they had you in this exact same position as he did; your cheek pressed against his chest, the harmonious mix of your perfume and shampoo filling up his senses until he feels drunk with it, his hand scratching against your scalp and your foot rubbing against his leg. fuck, there was no way he could be normal about this. about you.

“am i the only one you’re seeing?” oscar asks. he didn’t think before the words came slipping out but they were out now. no going back.

you shift your head up to look at him, neck straining a little at the position. the thing oscar noticed most though was your foot had stopped moving. oscar felt insecure now. why did his brain think it was okay to feel territorial over you? this was literally the first time you had been in his house. ever.

your brows are furrowed in confusion as your soft voice replies to him. “seeing?” you ask for clarification.

oscar gets angsty now. he feels the need to fidget but you were touching him everywhere and he couldn’t. this was so embarrassing. what happened to being casual?

“i was-uh. just wondering if you were going on dates with anyone else?” oscar phrases it different to how he had in his mind because he didn’t think asking you if you were laying on top of other guys would make you want to answer his question.

your face relaxes as he clears up your confusion and you lay your head back in it’s previous position. your food still laying still just under his knee. “oh. no i’m not seeing other guys.”

this sliver of reassurance sends oscar’s head reeling. you weren’t seeing other guys? he’s the only one who got to have you like this? this was doing wonders for his possessiveness. oscar hums, trying to act nonchalant as his hand returns to your hair again. that kickstarts your leg again. he hopes you don't ask any questions as he feels the inner peace from before his big mouth blurted out his biggest fears, come back in peaceful waves.

it's quiet before you speak up again. "why do you ask? y'want me all to yourself, hm?" you tease, your words as light as the late night breeze coming through the window oscar had left open this morning. oscar tenses, he knows your just joking but there's a part of him that thinks you're being serious. the brunette wills himself to relax again as he, not so subtly, shoves his nose in your hair, his nose replacing his hand.

the giggle you let out makes oscar's heart skip a beat. there's no way you didn't hear it, your ear pressed close against his chest. you don't say anything about it, if you do hear it (there's no way possible that you didn't hear it). oscar's mind is flooded with thoughts about how nice that is of you. he doesn't think that he's ever met someone as nice as you. he let's his mind fall down the rabbit hole, thoughts of you swirling around his mind. he thinks about laying with you, just like you both are right now, but in his head you've just come back from a mini golfing date. he's beaten you by a mile but he did the score sheet and lies to you, telling you that you must've gotten better than the last time because you've beaten him. you can tell by the smile on his face that he's lying but play along because you love him! the key thing in these fantasies is that you love him back. oscar is finally brought back to you by your voice. your head is straining back at him again.

"what?" you ask him, confused. eyes cloudy with it. the boy is equally confused as you. why were you asking him? as if he's got control over his tongue when you're around. he sends you a half grin, hoping that will make you forget about whatever he said (he's hoping it was just some stupid nonsense and nothing major like him telling you he loves you).

it makes you more confused. "you just said you loved me? i think."

oh. so he did tell you he loves you. how the fuck was he supposed to get out of this one. his brain races over the possibilities of how he could tell you that him saying i love you for the first time was an accident. there's no way you don't think he's a weirdo now. you're gonna untangle your legs from his, that weird foot thing you've since you both decided to lay in his room will stop and he'll feel cold again.

"i did? i did. i said that. i just told you that i loved you." oscar rambles, his mind breaking at the seams. he couldn't lose you. "i'm sorry. i was just thinking about you and it must've just come out. i do love though. i know it's way too early, this is the first time you've even been round and here i am scaring you away. i can't believe i've just done something this stupid.".

your legs do untangle from his and your arms lift yourself off of his own body. oscar knew you were going to search for your shoes in the hallway then you were going to leave him. here. alone.

"you love me? really." is what you say instead. it surprises him but he nods.

you look at oscar, your expression quite blank as he tries his best to read it, wanting - needing to know how you felt in reaction to his words. it seems that the only thing you can think about doing is kiss him because that's exactly what you do. you lean forward at the same time you throw your leg back over his middle to straddle his hips, your lips touching his soft and sweet. his hands jump to your waist, clinging on like he was still scared you'd leave even though this made it clear that you didn't think he was a weirdo.

your arms rest on their elbows at either side of oscar's head. the australian feels the urge to pull them off and let you lay down on top of him properly. he licks into your mouth like he's never going to kiss you again. you melt into it, your body slowly putting more weight onto oscar as the kiss continues. you eventually push yourself up for air. oscar's head thumps back onto the pillow as you sit back up.

"i think i love you too, osc." you tell him. oscar can see your putting on a brave face but he can still see a crack of the shyness shining through in you. it's just another thing to add to the very long list of thing the loves about you.

"i can't believe i told you and i didn't even know." oscar laughs a little, his hands resting on the small of your back, just underneath your oversized concert t-shirt. his hands rub along your soft skin, like your made of glass and he's waited his whole entire life to touch you.

"neither." you laugh back. "what were you thinking?".

"i was just thinking about you and how you were laying with me. i may have also been thinking about finally taking you out on a date where we go mini golfing." oscar lets you know a little about his fantasies but he plans to keep it mostly to himself. you grin with joy at his words.

"i'd love that. it sounds like great fun, i want to do things with you, like dates and stuff but i'm also fine just laying with you and watching tv after a race weekend." you tell him, hand coming to stroke the skin under his eye gently. oscar leans into the touch and his eyes close in bliss.

"i know, pretty girl. just wanna treat you like you should be treated. you don't deserve to be hidden away." it's a shame his eyes are shut because he misses the bright red blush that graces your cheeks at his words.

you start to stutter out some kind of pathetic reply but oscar beats you to it. "now lay back down the way you were before." he demands. "i need you to do that thing with you foot on my leg again, it was weirdly soothing."

you gasp out a breathy laugh. "right!?".

[tortillamastersblog]

✐ Seven Years | Kara Danvers ✎

Pairing: Kara Danvers x reader

Warnings: slight angst

Summary: Seven years is a long time, but you’ve never given up on Kara.

________________________________________________

Seven Years Ago

A knock on my door makes me shoot up in bed. After crash landing on earth with Mon El I’m still getting used to my super hearing.

I rub my eyes and check my phone for the time, frowning when I see it’s two in the morning. I get out of bed and use my x-ray vision to see who’s at the door.

Much to my surprise I realize it’s Kara and the way she holds herself is very unusual. She’s leaned against the doorframe, her hair a mess and her glasses are askew on the bridge of her nose.

“Hey, what are you doing here this late?” I ask when I open the door.

Kara’s head shoots up and her hazy, glassy eyes meet mine. She sways when she pushes herself off the doorframe and when she slurs a, “Heyyy,” I smell alien liquor on her breath.

I sigh and step aside, letting her in wordlessly. This isn’t the first time she’s shown up drunk at my doorstep and I’m pretty sure tonight it’s for the exact same reason as last time.

“What did he do this time?” I say, exasperated as Kara flops down on my couch face first.

Mon El. . .

I love my twin brother, don’t get me wrong, but he can be such a jackass sometimes.

Since he started going out with Kara, he has changed for the better, but sometimes he slips up and that’s when I get involved because not long after waking up here on Earth, Kara’s took an instant liking to me.

Unlike my brother I didn’t break out of the DEO, I didn’t send out a distress call that got me arrested, and I’ve never believed our people’s claims that the Kryptonians were responsible for all our hardships, which meant Kara and I became friends rather quickly.

And as her friend I’m one of the only people she can talk to about Mon El because I know him better than anyone and I’m more often than not the one who talks some sense into him whenever he messes up.

Now, I could say I don’t mind because that’s what friends are for, but I do because I hate how I was too shy to ask her out and when I mentioned it to him, he swooped in and asked her out himself.

It’s like he doesn’t even care about her and only did it to one-up me once again, the same way he’s been doing all his life.

Kara groans and I take a seat beside her head, taking off her glasses so she doesn’t accidentally break them. “He just doesn’t listen!”

Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.

I sigh and scratch at my eyebrow. “Why? What happened?”

I don’t want to know. It makes me furious, seeing how he treats her, but I want to be a good friend, so I’m offering her a shoulder to cry on.

Kara takes a deep breath before sitting up. She looks like a bug wiggling its legs in the air while doing so, but she manages to do it and sinks back into the cushions, her head landing on my shoulder.

It’s a familiar position and even though I know it’s friendly on her part, I can’t help the butterflies that erupt in my stomach every time she’s this close.

She smells like floral perfume and liquor, the latter being a little overwhelming for my sensitive nose, but I couldn’t care less. All that matteres right now is that she’s comfortable and safe.

God, what would the world do if they saw Supergirl in this state? Wasted over a fight with her boyfriend. . .

I shake my head and force myself not to think like that. Kara isn’t just Supergirl; perfect, charming and selfless. She’s also Kara and she, like everyone else, isn’t perfect.

“We were dealing with some bank robbers earlier,” she starts, still slurring her words but sounding more sober than before, “and I told him— I TOLD him— I had it under control, but he swooped in anyway.”

Yup, that sounds like him.

I have the same powers he has, but I don’t want to be a superhero. I just want to live a normal life, just like I’ve always wanted, even back on Daxam, and because I now have the freedom to choose, I choose to work as a manager and barista at Noonan’s. I like connecting with people and the simplicity of the job, which makes it perfect.

From time to time I do help the DEO of course, but only if I really have to. Otherwise I stick to my new, boring life.

I hum in acknowledgment and wait for Kara to continue.

“They got away with the money,” she says, “and I got a slab of concrete hurled at me. . . And then he has the audacity to accuse me of letting them get away, as if I didn’t have to use my body to shield them and prevent him from accidentally killing them with that piece of concrete!”

“I— Wow.” Is all I can manage to say and when I look to my left I’m startled to find Kara looking up at me with big, puppy dog eyes.

“Why can’t he just listen?” she whispers, her eyes darting between mine. “I mean, you listen. You always listen. Why can’t he?”

I swallow thickly and look at my hands in my lap. Mon El and I might be twins, but that’s where the similarities end.

I feel myself getting hot under Kara’s intense stare, so clear my throat and mumble, “I don’t know, Kara. But I’m sorry he’s acting like this.”

I would never do something like that to you.

I don’t say that because we’re just friends and because I’m not going to be the one who ruins their relationship.

Kara sighs and rests her head back on my shoulder, closing her eyes. She wraps her arms around my arm and within seconds her breathing evens out and I know she’s asleep.

Damn you, Mon El . . .

I shift around until I can get out of her embrace, carefully directing her so she’s lying on the couch. I take off her shoes and drape a thin blanket over her, knowing full well that she won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

Now

I cough and blink my eyes open. Everything is white and blurry, so I rub my eyes with my hands.

A familiar face swims in front of me and when I blink a couple of times, it comes into focus.

“Brainy?” I ask, coughing once more. “Are we back in the 31st century?”

He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “No. There have been some. . . complications.”

My eyebrows shoot up and I step out of the cryo-pod. My clothes are sticking to my body and I gladly accept the stack of dry clothes Brainy holds out. “What kind of complications? Where’s Mon El? Is he still asleep?”

Brainy’s eye twitches in a telltale way and he turns around when I start taking off my shirt. “No, he is awake. He is out looking for a power source for the ship.”

I narrow my eyes at the back of his head and finish changing, running a hand through my damp hair. “Where exactly is he? I know there something you’re not telling me, Brainy.”

He peaks over his shoulder to make sure I’m decent before turning back around. “There is nothing I’m not telling you, Y/N.“

I scoff and brush past him to the ships main computer to see what’s going on. Before I can get my hands on the control panel though, he slips in front of me, blocking my view.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

I raise an eyebrow. “What am I doing? What are you doing? Move, please.”

He shakes his head and grimaces. “I can’t do that.”

Frustration bubbles in the pit of my stomach and I clench my jaw so as to not snap at him. “Why not? What is going on?!”

Brainy opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, but nothing comes out.

“Brainy, I swear—“

“Y/N.”

I spin around at the familiar voice and glare at my brother who’s dressed in his red Legion suit.

“Mon El.” I acknowledged him with a nod and send Brainy one last glare before asking, “What’s going on? Where are we? Or should I say when are we?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve got what we need and we should be back home in no time,” he replies and when my eyes drop to his hands I realize he’s holding a power cell.

Why is no one telling me what is going on?

My frustration turns into anger when Mon El tries to move past me without elaborating, so I grab his arm and yank him back.

“Either you tell me what’s going on right now, or I’m leaving the ship to find out myself!” I seethe through gritted teeth and it fills me with satisfaction to see him flinch ever so slightly.

He quickly reassumes his unfazed demeanor though and calmly replies, “Look, you weren’t supposed to wake up before I got back. We’re not home yet, which is all that matters, but I have what we need to get back, so don’t worry.”

I’m about to lunge at him when Imra boards the ship, also dressed in her Legion suit.

So they were out together. . .

“Mon El, Kara told me—“

She freezes when her eyes land on me and when it registers what she just said my heart drops. I let go of Mon El’s arm and turn to face her with shaking hands. “What did you just say?”

It’s almost a whisper but because it’s dead silent right now, Imra hears me.

“Y/N. You’re awake,” she says carefully, her eyes darting between me and Mon El.

“Yeah, no shit.” I take big step forward so I’m face to face with her, pointing at her chest. “Now tell me. What were you going to say?“

She swallows thickly, looking like a deer caught in headlights and when I don’t back down, her eyes drop to the floor and she mumbles, “Kara wanted me to tell Mon El that Winn managed to locate another power cell, should we need one that is. . .”

My jaw drops and my heart races in my chest. I spin around and stare at Mon El in disbelief.

“Kara?” I croak. “Kara?!“

Mon El sets down the power cell and hols out his hands to calm me down, but I’m way past the point of being calmed down now. “Y/N, please don’t make a big deal out of this. I—“

“No, you don’t get to talk to me like that!” I cried, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “How dare you not tell me we were back?”

His face is contorted into a conflicted grimace, and he tries to come up with an excuse, but I’m not having it.

“You weren’t going to wake me up, were you? You weren’t ever going to tell me about this, were you?” My voice breaks more and more as I continue speaking until I’m a crying mess.

“Y/N. . .” Imra places a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug her off, taking several steps back to glare at all three of my supposed friends.

“No, just stop,” I choke out, wiping at my tears. “I’ve waited, hoped, seven years for this moment, and you weren’t going to say anything.“

I stare at each of them for an explanation, or a reason as to why they weren’t going to tell me, but no one says anything, so I square my shoulders and use my sleeve to tame the never ending stream of tears.

“Wow. So much for family,” I scoff and make my way to the ship’s door. No one dares to stop me and as soon as I step outside, there’s only one thing left on my mind: Finding Kara.

Seven Years Ago

“Here you go.” I smile and hand Maya, one of our regulars, her coffee over the counter. She reciprocates the smile and thanks me before leaving.

I grab the next ticket and look it over, seeing that I only have to make a cappuccino and a hot chocolate.

I get to work, moving flawlessly around the space next to my coworker Conan, only to be pulled to the side when I go out back to grab a new crate of coffee beans.

“Kara, what the hell?” I shriek when I see the blonde grinning at me. She’s wearing her Supergirl suit and her blonde hair looks windswept.

“Hi!”

I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and set down the coffee beans. “You can’t just sneak up on someone like that. One of these days I’m going to have a heart attack because of you,” I say, my lips twitching when she scratches her neck in embarrassment.

“You’re right I’m sorry,” she says, her smile not faltering, “even though I don’t think you could even have a heart attack if you tried.”

I roll my eyes playfully and pull her into a hug. She laughs and hugs back, and I’m pretty sure if I were human she would have broken my neck by now.

“Don’t get smart with me,” I warn with a chuckle when we pull back and she just smiles, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear. “So, what brings you by? Not my idiot brother again, I hope.”

Kara grimaces and shifts awkwardly. “Actually that’s exactly why I came by.”

I deflate and force myself to ignore the hurt that always claws at my heart when she talks about her relationship with Mon El. “Oh, alright then. What happened?”

For the first time ever, she seems to pick up on my change in mood pertaining this particular topic and she frowns. However, when I raise an eyebrow expectantly she clears her throat and a tentative smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “Well, I. . . I broke up with him.”

My eyes widen and I can’t stop a confused, “Why?” from slipping past my lips.

It was probably not the reaction she was expecting because she falters and starts nervously tugging at her skirt. “I-I just realized we don’t working together and he is just so different and— I thought you’d be happy for me.”

Seeing her pout I’m quick to grab her hands and make her look at me. “No, no, no. I am happy for you. I just— I thought maybe he broke your heart and you were sad about it and— I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re okay, and I’m glad you’re happy. That’s all that matters.”

Uncertainty flits across her face and her blue eyes search my face when she asks, “Really?”

I nod and squeeze her hands with a soft smile. “Really.”

Kara beams the next second and throws her arms around my neck. “You’re the best friend ever. How about we go out and celebrate tonight? I’ll ask Alex, Lena, and Sam to come, too.”

My heart breaks a little at the word friend, but I don’t let it show when I agree. “Sure. Just text me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“Yay!” Kara giggles and pulls back, her face lit up with happiness.

I smile fondly at the sight, feeling my heart flutter before scolding myself.

Stop, she’s your friend. Nothing else.

I sigh and gesture behind me. “I should get back to work.”

“Of course!” Kara’s eyes widen in realization, but she doesn’t lose her smile.

I return a half-hearted smile and get back to work, hearing the whooshing of her taking off just as the door closes behind me.

Since she broke up with Mon El three months ago, Kara has been around even more than before.

She shows up at Noonan’s daily just to chat which has gotten her in trouble with Snapper more often than not, and she spends most nights on my couch, passed out from her Supergirl duties.

Tonight was game night at her place and everyone except me has already left, leaving behind empty beer bottles and candy wrappers.

It was fun and filled with friendly competition, leaving a lingering warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I pick up the empty wine glass Lena drank out of and take it to the kitchen along with some empty beer bottles.

“I told you, you don’t have to do that,” Kara says, joining me in the kitchen with the empty popcorn bowl.

I shrug her off and take the bowl from her, placing it in the dishwasher before wiping my hands on my pants. “And I told you, I don’t mind.”

Kara’s blue eyes soften and she crosses her arms, her hands disappearing in the sleeves of her (my) sweatshirt. She borrowed it one night after showing up at my apartment covered in soot and ash, and she hasn’t returned it since.

The longer she watches me, the more nervous I get and I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose. “So, uh— How’s life?” I ask awkwardly which makes Kara chuckle.

She tilts her head adorably and smiles. “I can’t complain. How about you? How’s Maya?”

I cringe inwardly at the mention of Maya and shake my head with a soft laugh. We went on one date a couple of weeks ago because she asked me out, but I’m too hung up on the blonde in front of me, so I let Maya down gently.

Weirdly enough, Kara hasn’t stopped pestering me about it even though I keep telling her that there’s nothing going on between Maya and I.

“She’s fine I think. I told you I haven’t spoken to her since our date,” I say, drawing shapes on the counter next to me.

Kara raises an eyebrow and her eyes hold something I can’t quite place. “Well, is there someone else then?”

It’s a little weird how interested she is in my love life lately, but I try not to read too much into it.

“No,” I say quietly and Kara uncrosses her arms with a satisfied smile.

“Good. I don’t like sharing my best friend,” she says, placing a hand on my chest.

I swallow thickly and bite the inside of my cheek. “Yup.”

Kara squeezes my shoulder and moves past me, getting comfortable on the couch and looking at me expectantly when I don’t follow.

We usually watch a movie together after everyone’s already gone, but I don’t feel like staying tonight because it just hit me that she’ll never see me as anything other than a friend.

After she broke up with Mon El I thought I might get my chance with her after all, but now I know that that won’t be the case and all I want to do is go home and wallow in self pity.

“Actually, I think I’m going to head home, too,” I mumble, looking down as I drag myself to the door to put on my shoes and jacket.

Kara jumps off the couch and hurries toward me. “What? Why?”

I sigh and glance at her, seeing the confusion and hurt on her face.

“I’m pretty tired and I have an early shift tomorrow morning,” I say, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose again.

“O-Okay,” Kara stutters and I only hug her briefly before leaving, ignoring the way her eyes burn into the back of my head as I step into the elevator.

Now

I fly over National City, admiring the twinkling lights in the dark of the night as I make my way to a familiar apartment.

It’s cold and a few snowflakes land and melt on my face as I continue flying, but I ignore them and close my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath of fresh air.

The last time I was here, my lung felt like it was on fire but since being cured of my lead allergy in the 31st century, that is no longer an issue.

I descend slowly when I get close to my destination, feeling nervousness rise up in the pit of my stomach.

What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if she moved on? I mean, it’s been seven years. . .

Seven Years Ago

“What are we going to do?” Kara asks desperately, pacing back and forth.

We’re at the DEO, trying to figure out what to do about my mother’s attempt at invading the planet.

Alex looks to be deep in thought and Winn and Lena are talking in hushed voices a few steps away.

“Well, we could always use the device Lillian—“

Alex gets cut off immediately by Kara starting her down. “Absolutely not. We have to think of something else.”

I frown and glance at Clark who’s silently watching the whole scene unfold next to a defeated looking Mon El.

“What device?” I ask and when Alex and Kara go on bickering I ask again, this time louder and a little more aggressive. “What device?!”

No one says anything for a second but then Winn clears his throat and steps forward. “Lena and Lilian came up with a fail safe device that releases trace amounts of lead into the atmosphere when activated.”

I regret asking and immediately know why Kara doesn’t want to use it. It wouldn’t only force my mother and all the other Daxamites to leave, but also Mon El and me.

“I’m going to fight Rhea, and I’m going to win. There’s no other option. We’re not going to use that thing.” Kara states with a huff and it seems as though a decision has been made, but before anyone can leave I step forward with squared shoulders.

“No, you are not fighting our poor excuse of a mother,” I say calmly. “We are using the device. No one else has to get hurt and if it means Mon El and I have to leave as well, then so be it. Right?”

I look at Mon El and despite not seeing eye to eye on most things, he agrees with me and nods solemnly.

Kara whips around and glares at me. “We can’t just—“

“Yes you can,” I interrupt, turning to Alex before Kara can say anything else. “Get the device ready. Mon El and I will get our affairs in order and return to the DEO as soon as possible. You said Kara’s spaceship is still in working order, right? We’ll use it to get off Earth as soon as the lead is released.”

Alex pulls me in for a hug and lets out a shuddering breath but agrees to the plan and orders Winn and Lena to finish making the distributor.

Clark regards me with reverence and bows slightly, leaving shortly after to help in the ongoing fight against the invasion.

Mon El leaves too, shaking Alex’s hand and hugging Kara briefly, leaving me behind with the two sisters.

“I can’t believe you just did that!” Kara seethes, jabbing me in the chest with her finger. “I can fight Rhea. I can win!”

“No!” I argue, shoving her hand away and taking a step back. “You can’t win. My mother fights dirty and you will lose and I won’t let that happen. Not when there’s something I can do about it.”

Alex watched us with an uncomfortable look on her face before deciding she’s seen enough. She wordlessly slips out of the room and makes sure the door is properly shut behind her.

“Well, I’m not going to let you jet off into space with nowhere to go. You will die out there!” Kara spits through gritted teeth, the vein on her forehead pulsing dangerously.

“You don’t know that! But I know that you will get hurt if you fight my mother!” I shout and it makes her flinch because I’ve never raised my voice at her.

“But I can try! Why won’t you just let me do this?”

“Because I love you!”

I slap my hand over my mouth and watch as Kara’s eyes widen.

Well, I guess it’s out there now. . .

I sigh and take off my glasses, folding them before sliding them into my pocket.

“I love you, Kara, and not in a best friend kind of way. I won’t let you get hurt.”

Kara gapes at me and when she doesn’t say anything I clench my jaw and brush past her. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go home and get my affairs in order. There’s not much time left.”

Hurt claws at my throat when I leave the stunned superhero behind and I don’t try to stop the oncoming wave of tears.

I knew she didn’t think of me as more than a friend, but her blatant rejection of my feelings just now hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt before.

There’s not much I have to do when I get home because there isn’t much I can take with me, but I do sign the lease of the apartment over to my coworker Conan. He’s been looking for a new place to stay for a couple of months now and the apartment is payed off until the end of the year.

I also sign a resignation letter for work and put it on the kitchen counter next to my spare set of keys.

I’m just about to take some of the picture frames off the wall when I notice a nearing, familiar heartbeat.

I turn around just in time to see Kara coming in through the window with tears streaming down her face.

“What—“

I get cut off by a pair of lips on my own and my eyes widen before slamming shut.

Kara’s desperately pulling me closer by the back of my neck and I have to place my hands on her hips to stop myself from toppling into her.

She kissed me passionately and frantically, and I wince when I taste her salty tears.

I push at her hips, effectively breaking the kiss and stare at her questioningly. “What are you doing, Kara?”

I can’t let her play with my heart. Not now when I’m about to leave.

Another tear makes its way down her cheek and I fight the urge to wipe it away. She looks utterly hopeless and broken and when she whispers, “I love you, too’” the world stops spinning for a moment.

“It’s why I broke up with Mon El in the first place. You get me like no one else does. You listen to what I say and you’re kind, and modest, and your soul is beautiful. I can’t just let you leave. I-I want to go on dates with you. I want to hold your hand and wake up next to you. I want to make you breakfast in bed and kiss you until you’re breathless. Please don’t leave. Please. . .”

I feel my bottom lip tremble and squeeze my eyes shut. That is what I’ve wanted to hear for so long, and it’s so unfair that it’s just a little too late now.

“Kara, I can’t,” I whisper, opening my eyes again to find her blue eyes already on me.

She whimpers and surges forward, capturing my lips in another heated kiss.

I don’t fight her at all, pulling her closer by her waist until there’s virtually no space left between us.

Her lips are soft and warm, even though they’re moving against mine quite aggressively, and I sigh against her mouth when she buries her fingers in my hair and tugs me even closer.

I could get lost in this kiss and if it weren’t for the sudden burning sensation in my lungs I probably would have.

My grip on her waist involuntarily tightens and I pull back to double over and cough violently. It feels like I’m breathing fire and my throat closes, making me wheeze.

They released the lead.

I look up with tears in my eyes to find Kara watching me in horror.

“No, please. Not now,” she says, desperately cupping my cheeks.

She raises a hand to the comms device in her ear and frantically says something to the person on the other end. I’m assuming it’s Alex, but I can’t focus on what’s being said because the next time I cough, I’m coughing up blood.

It runs down the side of my mouth and I’m suddenly too weak to wipe it away, so Kara does it with alarm written all over her face.

She grabs me around the waist and hoists me over her shoulder, dashing out of the window within the blink of an eye.

The position is a little awkward and uncomfortable but I can’t focus on anything other than trying to get enough air in my lungs.

When we touch down on a field in the middle of nowhere, I see Mon El is already there, waiting and coughing next to Kara’s spaceship.

Kara sets me down gently and cups my cheeks again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head and press a kiss to the inside of one of her wrists, my hands landing on her hips as I sway dangerously on my feet.

I’m too weak to say anything so I just smile weakly, hoping it’s enough to show her that I’m not mad.

“I love you,” she chokes out, pulling out a necklace from beneath her suit. I realize it’s her mother’s and I try to pull away when she presses it into one of my hands. I can’t take something so valuable from her, but she just nods her head adamantly and pleads, “Take this. . . take this, please. It will keep you safe.”

I give in and cough again, holding my breath when she presses her lips against mine one last time.

When she pulls back and pushes me toward the ship, her face is twisted in agony and I know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her not to feel this way.

But there’s nothing I can do, so I get into the ship behind Mon El, clutching her necklace against my chest as the hood materializes above us and we start to ascend.

I mouth I love you, and watch her shrinking figure through the glass. She waves goodbye and I almost break down completely at the sight of her watery smile.

Now

I land on Kara’s balcony, suddenly no longer sure about whether or not I want to do this, but then I see her through the window.

She’s curled up on the couch with a thin blue blanket draped over her. The TV is off and she’s not on her phone either, making me frown and wonder what she’s doing but then I see her wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

My heart drops at the sight of her looking so dejected and I step forward without thinking and knock on the door.

She freezes for a second before slowly looking up. Her eyes widen when the land on me and she stumbles to her feet, almost tripping over the blanket in her haste to get to the door.

She flings it open, breathing heavily and staring at me with her bloodshot eyes.

“Hey,” I whisper softly and it takes only a couple of seconds for her to throw her arms around my neck and sob into my shoulder.

For the first time in seven years it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her infinitely closer.

The familiar smell of her vanilla shampoo makes my own eyes sting and I choke out a sob.

“You’re here,” she says against my skin, refusing to let go. “I don’t understand. Mon El said you stayed in the future.”

I want to be angry at that revelation, but I just can’t be when I have her in my arms. I press a kiss to her temple and let my lips linger for a moment. “No, I’m here. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

Kara’s arms around me tighten and I bend down to pick her up by the back of her legs, carrying her inside.

She wraps her legs around my waist as I close the door behind us, and breathes heavily against my neck.

I move toward the couch and sit down, holding her in my lap as she continues to cling to me.

We stay like that until her sobs die down and she pulls back to look me in the eyes. Her hands cup my cheeks and she traces her thumbs over my cheekbones.

“I love you,” she croaks and I let out a shaky breath, pressing my forehead against hers.

My hands find their way to her hips and I squeeze carefully, whispering, “I love you, too.”

Kara brushes her nose against mine and pecks my lips tentatively. It sends sparks through my body and I respond immediately and move forward for more.

She hums, satisfied, and deepens the kiss by tugging at my bottom lip with her teeth. I gasp in surprise and she uses the opportunity to slip her tongue past my lips and brush it against my own.

It’s a feeling I’ve been craving since she kissed me for the first time and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for the past seven years.

Much too soon for my liking, Kara pulls back. She rests her hands on my chest and traces her index finger along the chain of the necklace she gave me. “Listen, I know it’s been seven years for you, but you have to know that it’s only been seven months for me since you left,” she reveals quietly and I feel my stomach drop when she adds, “So, you know, I get it if you’ve moved on. I mean, Mon El got married, so surely you—“

I cut her off with a soft kiss, letting my lips trail over her cheek and jaw before they land on her neck.

I nip slightly at her sensitive skin, drawing a barely audible moan from her before pulling back completely to meet her eyes.

“I would wait a lifetime if it meant I got to see you again,” I admit, my eyes darting between hers. Then to lighten the mood, I joke, “But I sure hope you haven’t moved on yet because if you have you’re going to be in quite a bit of trouble.”

The smile that lights up her face makes my heart flutter and she quickly shakes her head, denying that she’s seeing anyone.

“I haven’t gotten over you since you left and I honestly don’t know if I ever would have, but that doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here now and I’m not letting you go again.” She whispers that last part and closes the distance between us again to press a kiss to my neck right below my ear.

It makes me shudder and when she smiles against my skin, knowing exactly the effect she has on me, I pinch her side playfully.

She giggles and trails kisses up the side of my face, all the way across my forehead and down my nose until her lips land on mine in a short peck.

“So, what now? What’s going to happen to you and the Legion?” she asks, finding my hand to play with the Legion ring.

I shrug and trace patterns on her lower back with my unoccupied hand. “I will have some words with Mon El and the others about not waking me up, but I can promise you that I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. You’re stuck with me now.”

Kara laughs softly and squeezes my hand, wiggling forward on my lap so she can rest against my chest, her head tucked into the crook of my neck. “Good because I really want to go on dates with you and make you breakfast in bed.”

I smile and kiss the top of her head. “I can’t wait.”

________________________________________________

Jesus, that was a long one, but I needed a break from No Matter What. . .

[the-fiction-witch]

Via Call

Media - Doctor Who (The Lodger Episode) Character - The Doctor (11th) Couple - The Doctor X Reader Reader - Y/n (Companion) Rating - Smut Word Count - 3300

Due to the goings-on of alien business this week, the doctor had to lay low while investigating. He had taken up a flatshare below the suspicious goings-on and was acting human. While Y/n remained in the TARDIS orbiting above where it was safe. The doctor bounced on his bed, tinkering around his room, earpiece in his ear on a call with Y/n back in the TARDIS a special dampener on the earpiece so anyone listening will only hear nonsense allowing them to talk as needed. 

"So how are you enjoying it? Pretending to be a normal human I mean?" Y/n asks

"Oh, you know, it's not so bad. I mean, the 21st century? You guys know your way around a bedroom." He laughs as he rolls over and pulls at the sheets on his bed. "Although, I think I need something to pass the time. So far it's been a few days of absolutely nothing. How is the TARDIS by the way? I hope you haven't gotten into trouble without me."

"the tardis is fine. I'm fine too thanks for asking"

He rolls his eyes playfully, "You're no fun at all. At least try and get a little bit up to trouble why I'm working." He lets out a small and frustrated sigh, "This case will be the end of me. There's almost nothing I can find... It's almost like the alien is a ghost or something..."

"Who knows what it is that's what you're meant to be figuring out. You need me to bring anything down for you?"

"Well," He hums thoughtfully, "I suppose I could use some of that jelly baby stash."

"you can just buy jelly babies, doctor"

"Yes, but the TARDIS ones are the better ones!" The Doctor sits up and crosses his legs and leans into the bed, "plus I'd like for you to come here and hang out with me. It gets lonely when I'm pretending to be human all the time. It is boring."

"And what are you going to say if that flatmate of yours happens to them up while I'm visiting?"

“You’re my companion just tell him that,”

“People don’t say that doctor,”

“Oh… Partner then? Is that better than companion?”

“Slightly…”

“Say that you're my girlfriend..." He says casually as he swings his legs over the bed, "That's what humans do nowadays, right? I'm still figuring them out..."  He looks at the mirror and rubs at the sides of his face, "I look old. Humans hate that right?"

"you look fine very handsome I'm sure" her voice chuckled "I don't know if I could pull off being your girlfriend I'm not a good actress... Besides I'm keeping the TARDIS up here we're it's safe like you told me at least till you know what It is"

"Oh, honestly don't worry about your acting. The human mind is so simple, you could probably fool them with a simple hug and a kiss on the cheek." He smiles and stands up, pushing his hair back a little. "Besides, you're very pretty. You'll have them melting as soon as you walk in the door and they get a look at your eyes."

"aww you’re sweet, only two weeks on earth and you're already losing it bouncing around the walls"

"Oh, shush. Is it so much to ask to want to see you again? I just..." He sighs, "I miss your face, I miss your voice, I've almost gotten myself in trouble at least five times without you..." He chuckles slightly, fixing his bow tie and checking himself in to mirror, "I feel... Lost, I suppose."

"well I'm only in the tardis you can call me on this earpiece thing as much as you want and you can hear my voice,"

"It's different though, I can't touch you. Your voice isn't the same as when I can feel it vibrating through your chest. I can't hear all of those thoughts you always think but don't say. The sounds of your stomach when your hungry or the little laugh you do when I'm going on and on about something that doesn't make sense to anyone but me." He lets out a small sigh, 

"well it's only for a little while" she giggled "Just till you find what's going on then you can come back to the TARDIS and we can go spend a week at the Crystal Falls okay?"

"A week?" The Doctor grins at the prospect of the idea, "You mean a week just the two of us? Alone there? With a view of those crystal waters and the falling rocks?"

He turns away from the mirror to lean back against the wardrobe in the room, "that actually doesn't sound too bad. Are you actually suggesting a holiday? For the both of us?"

"I am, a little trip as soon as you sort all this out" she smiled

The Doctor laughs and nods, "Then it's settled. We can have a holiday and relax. No aliens, no saving the world, just some time for the two of us to relax and just get away. This time together will be nice... It's almost too romantic."

"Almost?" She smiled "Hey... If your really bored I have a game for you"

"What game is this hmm? Is it a fun game?" He tilts his head as he sits down on the end of his bed, kicking his legs playfully, "is it the kind of game that involves you and me? And by that I mean it's two people who play in person and not in calls?"

"nope just via call. It's a very fun game"

"Well if it involves you I'm sure it is! I guess I'm quite lucky like that." He laughs softly, "how do you play this game hmm? What do I need to do?"

"you have to guess where in the TARDIS I am."

"A game of hide and seek on the TARDIS? Well that sounds rather fun. Give me a hint of the general area that you're in... That gives me a little bit of a chance to guess"

"left side corridor"

"Ah, the left corridor? Hmm, that narrows it down..." The Doctor hummed thoughtfully before snapping his fingers as something clicked in his mind, "I think I know where you are now. You little minx, I bet your in the library, aren't you?"

"nope"

"Damn." He smiles and snaps his fingers with a click of his tongue, "hmm, well not the Library. You're too mischievous to hide in an obvious place. Maybe... The swimming pool! Is that where you're hiding?"

"Nope try again,"

"Not the swimming pool either? Hmm, what other room do we have on the left side corridor..." He hums thoughtfully as he rubs at his jawline, the cogs in his mind whirring to think of another place...

"Oh!" He snaps his fingers again, "got it! The media room! You're definitely in the media room!"

"not the media room." She giggled "Have a clue" she smiled and the sound of bedsprings come through,

He laughs quietly as he hears the springs come through his ear piece, "wait... You're on a bed now? Hmm... A bed you say... And on the left side corridor no less..." He grins and clicks his fingers again as he realises exactly where she is, "ha! I know exactly where you are now, don't think you're clever enough to trick me... You're in your room aren't you? In the bed, bouncing on the springs and making noise so I know for sure you're there. I'm right aren't I?"

"not my room"

"Not... Your room?" He huffs with a smile and shakes his head, "you're making this very difficult on purpose aren't you."

A lightbulb moments goes off in his head as the truth comes to him, "wait! You're in MY room, aren't you? That's where you are! In my room, on my bed, giggling to yourself as you wait to see how long I'm going to take to figure this out."

"maybe" she giggled 

"Bingo." He laughs and stands up again, "I knew that you were there. I'm just too good at this game aren't I? Don't think you're as clever as me now."

He leans his against the wardrobe and rolls his sleeves up, "so, tell me. What are you doing in my bed? Aside from giggling of course, hmm?"

"nothing..." She answered with a sly smile

"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow and smiles, "you're not doing anything at all in my bed, hmm? It's just you, in my bed, by yourself. That doesn't sound suspicious at all now does it?" His tone suggests he knows she's up to something, "why are you in my room? On my bed no less. Surely you're not thinking about sleeping in my sheets are you? You cheeky minx..."

"already done" she teased "Been sleeping in your bed sheets since you left"

The Doctor's jaw drops in shock and he laughs loudly, "you've been sleeping in my bed? What have you been doing in there, hmm? Anything exciting in my bed, Miss Y/n? Tell me, what are my sheets like to sleep on?"

"very soft and Cosy, silky and smooth, and they smell like your hugs"

"You've been wrapping yourself up, thinking of me at night hmm?" He takes a few steps closer to the bed, "now why would you be doing a thing like that, hmm? Getting all cosy in my sheets every night just thinking of me when I'm not there. Missing me that much?" He shakes his head with a fond smile and laughs quietly under his breath, "you really are a handful..."

"I'm not use to being here all on my own" she pouts "so I came to snuggle in your room while your gone just to keep it warm and cosy for you"

His smile softens at the adorable sight she would make just laying there pouting and wrapped up in his bed. It's almost something out right of his dreams. "Well... I do always love coming back to an even warmer and cosier room. I suppose you are keeping it warm for me, aren't you? It's very sweet of you." His voice is softer now, almost affectionate, "and you've been enjoying yourself?"

"very much" she cooed

"Good... That's really good." He nods and takes a couple more steps towards the bed, looking at the ceiling as he imagines exactly what she looks like right now, in HIS bed. His sheets wrapped around her, burying her in his scent, just wanting to be with him. His voice is quiet and low as he continues, "just lay there... Close your eyes okay?" 

she hummed through the earpiece clearly doing as he asked her even if she’s so far away

He takes a deep, slow breath and lets it out just a little too slowly to be a regular exhale. He closes his eyes as well and imagines her on his bed, wrapped tightly in his sheets, thinking of him like she said, "just imagine that your in the room. Just think it. Imagine that I'm with you, that we're together right now. Just imagine it..."

"hum ..." She hummed the sounds of her shifting in his sheets and her sweet sighs of happiness before he can just hear the small sounds of kisses and he figures out quickly in her relaxed sleepy state she began kissing his pillow and he can imagine her laid on his bed hugging his pillow like it's his chest peppering it with kisses cause she missed him so badly

He smiles and bites back a low groan at realising that she's doing exactly what he's thought, kissing and cuddling HIS pillow. Imagining it being HIM! The Doctor can see her in his mind and he imagines himself there with her, wrapped in the sheets together kissing her neck as she kisses his pillow. He lets out a shaky breath, wanting desperately to be in this moment with her. The Doctor's breathing starts to speed up a little, his cheeks start to flush as his eyes are still closed, "that's it. Just keep kissing the pillow like it's me... I'm there, with you, in the sheets. Wrapped up tight. Just imagine me..." He can't help the low groan that escapes his throat now, not when he's thinking of this beautiful woman kissing away on the pillow, wishing that it was him. He's desperately trying to hold himself back though.

her kisses and gentle giggles continue but slowly her tone shifts the kisses become longer the giggles and gasps become small moans and it's obvious even just thought sound what she's up to

The Doctor's cheeks flushing even more as his breathing gets faster and faster, more heavy with anticipation. He can picture her so perfectly in his mind and he's wanting nothing more than to be there with her, taking in each one of her sounds. He bites his bottom lip as his imagination gets away from him, "Y/n... Don't... Don't stop..." He can picture every single detail, her hair splayed out on the pillow, her flushed cheeks and flushed body as she holds onto the pillow and kisses it like it's him, like it's his "I'm... There... I'm right there with you... Holding you... Don't stop... I wanna hear you..." He manages to gasp out between breaths, every word being a struggle. The Doctor can feel his hearts racing and his breaths are coming fast now. So close to the edge that the last little imagination could tip him over.

her moans become louder and the sound of kisses disappears replaced by another sound of movement "Doctor!" 

He gasps out again as the sounds of her moans get louder and he shudders as he imagines the movement she's making as she holds onto the pillow. "Oh God, Y/n-! Mmm. Ohhh... What's that? What are... Tell me! Tell me!"

she giggled innocently "Not till you tell me"

His breath catches in his through as he hears her soft, seductive giggling, "tell you...tell you what... Oh uggh, you cheeky little minx. You really want me to say it don't you? You want me to tell you... Tell you everything don't you?"

"mhm what are you up to doctor then I'll tell you" she teased between moans

"uggh! Just hearing you moan and giggle so sweetly for me makes me want to go crazy. I can't help it, you just get me so excited." His voice is practically panting into the receiver now, he's so close to the edge just imagining her like he is. He shudders against the receiver again before talking again, "mmm. Now just tell me what you're up to! Don't be quiet now!"

she giggled and said in the most innocent of tones loud enough he could catch every word "sitting on your bed, in your sheets, in one of your shirts, riding on your pillow imagining I had company"

The Doctor gasped out and groaned loudly, practically into the mic at the sounds of her words and imagined image in his mind. That...was enough to send him over the edge. "By the stars... Y/n...." He panted out between breaths, shuddering and moaning as his eyes rolled back for a moment. "I... Want you. So badly. So, so badly..."

"and what are you doing? Surely my cute little noises aren't being listened to while you just lay on that boring bed?"

"Listening and listening again and...imagining... It's making me go a little insane, but I can't stop listening to you. Just your voice is making me feel so good. Oh god I'm-" He's cut off by his own gasp and low moan and there's the sound of him shifting a little where he sits. His breath catches and he huffs out a shaky breath as he slowly comes down again, "you make it so hard to control myself, my dear."

"I'm sure controling yourself isn't all that's hard" she teased before she moaned his name again

The sound of her moaning out his name made the Doctor shiver and he swallowed harshly before he spoke again, his already gravely voice a little bit more low and rough now, "uggh woman you're killing me. You're gonna drive me completely insane if you keep moaning my name like that you naughty minx."

"I'll stop when you admit it"

He shudders again as he hears her soft, innocent voice in his ear. uggh that voice always gets him all hot and bothered. A groan comes from low in his throat before he finally manages to answer her, "Admit what, my dear hmmm?"

She giggled before she whispered into the earpiece "that your hard doctor?"

"By the stars you really do know just how to drive me mad." He groaned again and his voice shook with his next words. uggh his voice was so wrecked and hoarse now, he's sounding just so desperate. "Y-Yes... Yes, of course I'm hard. Just... Just” He huffed out a breath and shuddered a low groan against the ear piece before continuing, "imagining...imagining you right now...imagining what you're doing and the sounds you're making...how I just want to be there with you. How I just want to hold you close...I'm desperate for you, you sweet little minx."

"well as soon as you find out what's going on down there we can take our little trip a whole week at the Crystal Falls In a cute little cabin just you and me. And I'll sleep in your bed every night" 

His breath shudders again for a second as he imagines this. Just a week with her at the crystal falls in a cozy little cabin, her all curled up in HIS bed, in HIS shirt and wrapped up in HIS sheets. Just the two of them together… "Oh, yes..." He moans again, so low and almost right into his ear piece now as his eyes shut tight again, "uggh yes I want that."

The squeal that he hears from her is almost too much for the Doctor to handle. Just imagining her and knowing that he's getting her all riled up and needy, it's almost driving him insane. All he wants is to just be there with her, wrapped up together in his sheets. "Y/n...are you...are you close, darling?"

"mhm," she whines "I want to... With you... Please"

He shudders again at her needy whine, uggh she's so adorable. "Oh, I'd love that darling. I'd love that so, so much. I'm so, so close myself just thinking about you."

"doctor!" She screamed and squealed

The sound of her reaching her peak had sent him right over the edge again as he gasped out her name with a low, guttural groan that came from deep in his chest. "Sweet...Sweet stars... Y/n-oh uggh....!" He was panting and shaking against the receiver, his eyes shut tightly as he slowly comes down from his high again, his heart racing and his breaths coming out in low moans.

Y/n giggled "I think I'm just going to miss you more now..."

He laughed weakly in response, still coming back down from his high and calming himself down from that intense rush. uggh... She definitely knows how to get him up and send him spiralling, leaving him feeling all out in the open and vulnerable. "uggh, Y/n... That was some night. You're an absolute tease you know that? I'm gonna miss you terribly. I already know that this time apart is going to feel like an age."

"Maybe I could risk the TARDIS coming in for a... Little visit" she cooed "help you pass as human and all"

“Come down. Now.” He smirked before ending the call, 

[beenbaanbuun]

the pet w/ poly!addams!matz

upon spending more and more time with your lovers, more things that have been kept well guarded secrets from the rest of the world seem to reveal themselves to you. the things that go bump in the night aren’t necessarily all figments of the imagination. the legends may be twisted and warped to make them seem a hell of a lot scarier than they actually are, but some things still hold true.

vampires for example. while their genes still technically exist, vampires themselves went extinct long before you were even born. seonghwa had explained it to you in depth one morning over breakfast, but none of it really sank in. you should’ve paid more attention to your biology classes in school; maybe then all the ‘immortality is a recessive gene’ nonsense that he was spouting would make sense to you. the whole ‘my great-great-grandmother was a vampire’ thing just didn’t seem to compute, but it did sort of explain why seonghwa gets a rash when he’s out in the sun for too long.

it turns out jongho isn’t really a bear skin either. he’s an onikuma that hongjoong’s family had passed down through generations. it was during that long, drawn-out chess lesson that hongjoong had explained to you that his family were once livestock farmers that the creature had stolen from time and time again. you found it cruel that jongho was slain just for the crime of being hungry, but hongjoong patiently explained that his ancestors were hungry too. slaying the beast that kept breaking onto their land and taking their sheep was the only way to keep food on the table. you’re just glad the memory of the onikuma lives on; you hope his spirit knows that he’s one of your closest friends.

but then one evening, just after the nightly waltz that you so love to sit and watch, seonghwa drops a bombshell. you’re cuddled up by hongjoong’s feet, gently undoing the laces on his dancing shoes as he and seonghwa pass soft conversation over your head. you’re listening, but not very well. it’s not like much of it is any of your concern anyway… well, except those few words that slip so freely from your mommy’s mouth.

“we should get a werewolf,” he muses to his husband before tipping the rest of his wine down his throat. it’s so nonchalant as if it’s something so perfectly normal for them. in the end, you suppose it is; seonghwa has already alluded to being descended from immortal beings (that aren’t really all that immortal, just… longer living) and the rug you’re currently sitting on is made from the skin of some mythical beast. if anything, a werewolf should just be another thing that you shrug off and accept as just being another part of your increasingly weird life.

but there’s a difference here. quite a big one. seonghwa said they should get a werewolf, and you can’t quite wrap your brain around why he means by that.

the couple seem to notice the sudden interest you have in their conversation though. perhaps it’s the way your body physically tenses up, or the way your fingers become slack on hongjoong’s shoe. either way, the two men hum out a chuckle. seonghwa’s hand finds it’s way to your head, stroking at your hair in the same way he does whenever he needs to calm you down. hongjoong just taps your knee with the toe of his shoe, reminding you of the task you appointed yourself with the moment the pair collapsed onto the couch.

“why ever should we allow some mutt into our house?” hongjoong says as your fingers begin to work on his laces again. he always ties them so tightly. you know it’s just to give you something to do with your hands for a little while. “we’d have to house train the feral thing, which would be an immeasurable amount of work. it’s hardly a walk in the cemetery to train a beast to be civil, Cara Mia.”

seonghwa chuckles as he watches his husbands face twist up in disgust. he never has liked werewolves; claims they’re shifty creatures with no good intentions. seonghwa has to wonder what ‘good intentions’ he thinks vampires have, but he chooses not to argue. there’s not much point in the grand scheme of things. vampires don’t exist anymore, werewolves do.

“protection for our darling?” the tall man suggests, curling his fingers against your scalp so his blood red nails scratch delicately against your skin. you let out a satisfied sigh. your lovers smile down at you, “a friend for when we’re busy with work? there’s plenty of reasons as to why…”

hongjoong seems the mull the idea over as you slip the first shoe off. you gently place it to the side before moving the the next foot, laces done equally as tight.

“and you want to let our sweet girl near such an uncivilised creature?”

“it’s either that or a dog,” seonghwa shrugs.

“i’d rather the dog,” hongjoong cocks his eyebrow confidently, but seonghwa isn’t so easy to give up.

“and i’d rather the werewolf,” he says with a smile. he knows, after all, that he always gets what he wants. the proof of that is sitting right between their legs with a collar around its neck. “it would give her something to talk with when she gets lonely, plus the fact we won’t have to clean up after it. opposable thumbs really do work wonders.”

hongjoong sighs; they’re all good points but the thought of letting a werewolf into his home still sends a shiver down his spine. the thought of you being around one is even worse. they’re notoriously difficult to train (the fault of their human-esque desire to be independent) and hongjoong really doesn’t have that much time to waste. he lets out a groan just as you get the knot to the second shoe undone.

“you’re serious about this, aren’t you?” hongjoong asks. seonghwa replies with a nod. “what about you, little dove? would you like a friend?” you think about it for a second before slowly nodding as well. you suppose it would be nice to have someone to fill those empty hours where hongjoong and seonghwa are both tucked away in their respective work spaces. hongjoong lets out a defeated huff, “fine.”

you slip the shoe off of his foot just in time for him to grab you and tug you onto his lap. it’s ironic really—you’d get punished for having a temper tantrum, and yet when hongjoong groans and hides his face in your hair, all seonghwa can do is smile. there’s a reason you’re the one with a collar around your neck, you suppose.

“thank you, mi amor,” seonghwa leans over to press a kiss to his husbands head, “i’ll let mingi know that we’re interested; he was showing me photos of an absolutely gorgeous specimen named yeosang just the other day…”

[pinkthrone445]

~A night to remember?~

Part 2

Part 1

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: fluff, funny, hurt, love.

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, mention of sex, vulgar language.

Summary: After Melissa is dumped, you help her go back out and have fun,but everything went south when you end up in bed together.

_____________________________

Now everything made sense, the perfume of the room, how calm you felt there, the beautiful room, her red hair and the softness of her skin. All of that belonged to the woman who was hugging you with her naked body against yours. All of that belonged to the woman you were longing to know where she was. All of that belonged to Melissa, your co-worker with whom you'd had sex the night before. A night you didn't remember anything about.

-"Fuck..."-It was all that managed to come out of your lips, waking up and making your bed partner open her eyes, looking at you with the same surprise that you looked at her. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Although you were both confused, or frightened, neither of you did anything to move or separate, as if making a sudden movement would make the situation more real. Melissa's hand was still on your waist, her legs intertwined with yours and her chest close to yours. Her chest, her bare, abundant, full of marks that you had made, (hell, you had been there for a long time to leave her so full of marks) , soft chest was close to yours, her breathing was agitated and that made her body press more against you. Was your feeling or the bed and the room got smaller, why was it hard to breathe? Why was it hard to even blink? Was she blinking? Why couldn't you stop looking at her eyes? Her beautiful, deep green eyes... Were they darker than normal? Why did you feel like she was looking at your soul? Could she read your thoughts? Why wouldn't your head stop working? Were you talking or just thinking? She was talking to you and you weren't listening to her? Her lips didn't move, they were only slightly parted, and her breathing was very agitated. Her pink full lips, so beautiful... You wanted to kiss her, you needed to. Was it your impression or was she getting close to you? Did she want to kiss you too? What if you kissed her?... What if?...

And suddenly, everything stopped, your thoughts, time, the world stopped. If it wasn't for the fact that you felt like it was about to come out of your chest, you would have thought that your heart stopped too. You didn't know if Melissa kissed you or if you kissed her, all you knew was that her lips were on yours and that they were addictive. Her hands pulled closer to her body as if she wanted to join into one, her legs intertwined with yours as if they were vines, her chest clinging to yours as if a cloud were hugging you, they were so soft. And her lips, her lips again, her lips would have deserved a separate chapter in the book of world wonders. How could anyone have so much perfection? How could someone kiss so well? A kiss wasn't enough anymore, you wanted more from her. All your mind could do was repeat her name over and over again. Mel, Isa, Mel-Mel, Melissa... Her, her, her and only her. Making a risky decision, you bit her lip and tugged at it a bit earning a moan from her, a moan that sent a shiver down your spine. It was a risk that even if there was a 99% chance of dying, you would do it over and over again a thousand times. Melissa's hands ran over your naked body and stopped on your ass, squeezing and making you moan this time, an opportunity that the redhead took advantage of to insert her tongue into your mouth, you would have fought for dominance if you hadn't felt so consumed by the woman in front of you. Trying not to turn into a pile of jelly in front of her, was taking a lot of effort. You felt drunker at the time than you had the night before after all the drinks you'd had, only now you could remember every part of it. You doubted that at any point in your existence you could erase the way her body felt on yours, the way her lips fit perfectly with yours. You were sure that even if you died and reincarnated, that memory wasn't going to go away. You didn't know when you'd tangled your hands in her hair, but it was so soft, a great contrast to the roughness with which you were now kissing each other. It was all too much, you felt like you could explode at any moment. You wished this would last forever but it was impossible, and before you knew it, the moment was shattered when Melissa suddenly opened her eyes and broke away from you so quickly that she pushed you off the bed causing you to fall to the floor. The pain in your body from the events of the night before, plus the pounding to the ground, made you scream because of the pain that ran through your body

-"Melissa! What's wrong with you?" - You asked with a frown, what had made hef change action so quickly? You didn't understand anything until you heard it

-"Melissa? Melissa schemmenti! Are you home?!"-Barbara's scream downstairs swept through the house. Barbara had a spare key, you knew that, she had a key and had used it to get in, shit. Frightened and still naked on the carpet floor, you looked at the redhead who was running to put on a robe trying to cover her naked body.

-"Don't even think about getting out of here"-was all she said before leaving the room and closing the door. You carefully got up off the floor and started looking for your clothes, but you couldn't find anything but your panties, you put them on and grabbed a plaid shirt of Melissa's that was on a chair. Taking advantage of the fact that she wasn't there, you grabbed the shirt in your hands and sniffed it, it smelled like her room, like her. Not like her perfume, but like her essence, you loved her scent... And you looked good with her shirt on.

When Melissa came downstairs, she saw the mess of clothes in the living room, clothes on the couch, on the coffee table, on the lamp, everywhere. Most of them were the clothes she had worn the night before, but very close to Barbara was your dress on the floor, Melissa knew that if the eldest saw the garment, it wouldn't take long to add two plus two and deduce that you were there too. Quickly the red-haired woman ran in front of Barbara and grabbed the dress, tucking it under her robe before the brunette saw it. The eldest was frightened by the redhead's enthusiasm

-"Melissa! You almost made me have a heart attack! Where were you? Why didn't you answer your cell phone? Are you ok?" -Barbara questioned worriedly and looked at the redhead's hair, almost as messy as the house, she also noticed a couple of glasses on the table and the robe she was wearing to hide her naked body, she was also able to notice all the marks she had on her chest -"oh...You have a visitors... Good for you my friend!"-the eldest laughed exited-"I'll leave, but tomorrow at work you have to tell me all about it! Oh! And one more thing, Do you know something about (Y/N)? I sent her messages but she left me on read..." - Of course Melissa knew where you were, you were in her room naked and full of marks she made on your body

-"Y-yes! She told me she was at the house of a woman she met, you know how she is... She said she'd be home ina few hours but that she was fine"-the redhead didn't know how to lie without her friend noticing, but technically what she was saying wasn't a lie. A sigh of relief left her lips when she saw her friend believe her and ask no more questions. After saying goodbye, the redhead closed the door of the house and went upstairs to the room to look for you. When she came in and saw you lying face down on her bed, with her shirt on and your butt barely visible because of the length of the garment, she forgot everything she was going to tell you

-"(Y/N)..."-It was all that managed to come out of the redhead's lips, unable to move her eyes from your figure. You sighed and sat on the bed nodding

-"I know, I know... I have to go. I've had enough experiences in the past to know that simply staying overnight is playing a lot with my luck. I just need to find my clothes and I'll go..." -You muttered, getting up and standing next to her to open the door-"It's safe to go downstairs, isn't it?"-Melissa nodded, still too lost to formulate a complete sentence. She carefully gave you space to leave the room and follow you, completely forgetting that your dress was under her robe. For a few minutes she watched as you picked up your shoes from the living room and kept looking. Carefully she went upstairs and came down with a jean of hers and handed it to you since you couldn't find your dress, so that you would have decent clothes to go home, saying that another day you could give it back to her. Carefully you put it on and arranged your hair a little in a mirror

-"Do you want to stay for breakfast? I don't want to be the one to blame for you fainting in the middle of the street for leaving on an empty stomach"- said the eldest and you turned to see her with a big smile that you couldn't hide. You were never good at hiding your reactions anyway and staying longer with her and enjoying her food made you very happy.

-"I-I'll go now..." -You whispered without knowing how to proceed, you wanted to stay a little longer, in her arms, against her body, without separating yourself from her lips, but you didn't know if she wanted too. You'd only been with her for a couple of hours and it was already an addiction. You were about to open the door when your stomach rumbled from the hunger you had

For her part, Melissa was in a battle, her reasoning against her wishes. Why did you feel so addictive? Why did it feel different than other times when she had been with someone only one night? Why wasn't it enough and she wanted more than one night? How would the relationship between you change? How would you continue to work together now? Would you still be friends? What would Barbara and the others think if they found out about this? You were used to being with someone for only one night, but she wasn't that used to it, what would you think if she wanted a serious relationship? And that shirt, why did you have to look so good wearing her clothes?

-"Mel-Mel?" - you asked, dragging her out of her drowning thoughts-"You're going to burn the eggs if you don't take them out of the pan" - You whispered and the redhead came back to reality and continued cooking in silence. You carefully walked over to her side and rested one of your hands on her arm, worried about the way she was frowning so angrily-"Do you want us to talk about what happened?..."

-"No" - The redhead replied quickly- "Whatever happened last night, or however we end up in bed together, can't happen again, did you understood? I'm not like you, I don't do this" - she said looking at you very seriously and talking a little bit to harsh, you frowned

-"Don't talk to me like that, whatever happened last night, I don't remember forcing you to do it, not that I remember much either, but it was both of our responsibility, not just mine. So don't talk to me like that Melissa. Just because you're angry that you didn't control your impulses, doesn't give you the right to raise your voice at me."- You replied just as seriously and sighed-"I'd better go now, I'm not hungry anymore" - It was the last thing that came out of your mouth before you left.

Melissa was angry and she took it out on you, but she was really mad at herself, it bothered her that she didn't remember anything, it bothered her to feel scared and confused, it bothered her that her first time with you was while she was drunk.

The next day you waited for a message or to know something about the redhead, but nothing arrived on your cell phone and you didn't know if it was going to help if you talked to her. So you didn't.

On Monday morning you got to school early, avoiding the break room altogether and going straight to your classroom. Several times without you noticing, Melissa walked down the hallway just to stare at you for a few seconds, she almost went crazy when she saw that you were wearing her shirt. Your hair was in a high ponytail, you were wearing your glasses, white sneakers, a pair of jeans and her shirt with the front tucked into your pants, you looked so beautiful that she couldn't avoid looking at you for a few more seconds than what it was consider proper.

At lunchtime you went to the staff room and started talking to Barbara about a little bit of everything, but without mentioning anything that had happened to you and the redhead. Everything was like a normal day until Melissa also arrived at the table, you followed her with your eyes but she did not look up at any time, she took out of her bag a tupperware with food and put it in front of you without looking at you or saying anything

-"Melissa... Can you talk to me? Or at least look at me?"- You asked a little more harsh that you intended to, but the redhead just took out her food and ate in silence looking at her phone. You saw your Tupperware, it was your favorite food and you sighed getting up from the table and giving the tupperware to Gregory to eat, without saying anything else, you left. Barbara looked at everything confused, your interaction with the redhead and your rejection of food, you never refused what Mel cooked.

-"What was that?" - Barbara asked to her friend and she just shrugged her shoulders with her mouth full. Although it was hard for her to admit it, she wasn't good at apologizing and that's what she was trying to do with the lunch she gave you, but it hurt her when she saw that you gave it to Gregory and left to avoid being with her. It hurt her to see that she was hurting you, but she didn't know how to stop it.

A couple more days passed, days where you were talking to Barbara but Melissa was trying not to talk to you. She kept bringing you food, but you still didn't eat. What she would give to go back to the way things were before, to call her Mel-Mel again and kiss her forehead when she brought you food, hug her when you were happy, or flirt with her as a joke. Melissa missed you, but she couldn't be around you without remembering how you kissed, how your skin felt against hers, how beautiful you looked with the marks on your body. She couldn't be around you without wanting to kiss you and be with you again. But she knew that if the two continued to see each other, it would be a violation of the school code for maintaining an uninformed relationship, and she wasn't ready to have that conversation with Ava, so she kept avoiding you.

That day, at the end of the school day, Melissa saw you leaning against the wall outside your classroom, with you was a tall and beautiful girl that she had seen before, she was friends with Janine. The girl was flirting with you, and Melissa knew you, she knew your gestures and movements, she knew you were being subtle but you were also flirting with her. That made her blood boil, she didn't know why, but it bothered her a lot.

With long, determined steps she approached you and took your hand to get your attention, surprised , you looked at her and raised an eyebrow

-"Can we talk?"- She whispered, looking at you and turning her back on the other woman

-"Oh, now you wanna talk? I don't want to now, I'm talking with a friend"- you answered dryly. She didn't really want to talk, but she also didn't want to see you flirting with someone else

-"Please, it's important" - she pleaded

-"This is important too, she was inviting me to a night out" - you insisted, you were mad at her and her childish behavior

-"It's okay, we'll keep talking later, you already have my number"-said the other girl and kissed your cheek and then left. You sighed and turned to look at the red-haired woman with a frown

-"What do you want now, Melissa? What did you want to talk about?" -you asked annoyed

-"Nothing, it doesn't matter anymore"-She tried to leave but you grabbed her hand

-"No, You're not going to leave again. What the hell it is wrong with you? I don't understand you, you treat me like it's all my fault, you can't even look at me or be in the same room as me! You're being a real asshole Melissa!"- Just as you were screaming, Barbara was coming out of her classroom listening to you

-"You two! Come here right now!"- yelled the eldest. Melissa and you walked into Barbara's classroom, she made you two sit across from each other in the children's little chairs. Neither of you dared to look at Barbara or say something. -"What is wrong with you two? You haven't spoken to each other for days, and before you couldn't go a single day without being together" -questioned the oldest

-"Nothing happened, never mind"-The red-haired woman replied without looking at either of you. You were tired of her stupid behavior, she wanted to pretend that nothing happened when so much had happened between you. If she didn't speak, you would

-"Do you want to know what happened Barbara? This happened"-You stood up and with a single pull, you undid several buttons from Melissa's blouse revealing her chest all marked, then you detached yours revealing your marks. Your eyes almost stayed on the redhead's cleavage if it weren't for the fact that you were determined to end this now.-"This, this happened, we fucked! We did it drunk the night we went out alone. When you went to see Melissa at home, I was still there, in her room, seconds before you arrived, we were kissing very passionately. And Melissa can't deal with the fact that we sleep together, so she's upset with me, like it's not her fault too. I asked her if she wanted to talk and she said no, she wanted to pretend that nothing happened, but when I pretend that nothing happened and I flirt with someone else, that also makes her angry. And I miss her, I miss my friend but she is being childish and mean with me. That's what happened"-You explained everything to Barbara, letting the annoyance out. The eldest looked at you both in surprise, she expected anything but that. Melissa sighed and stood up to stand in front of you

-"I'm sorry, I know I've been an asshole these days and you didn't deserve it, I just got scared... I thought that what had happened would ruin our friendship and that I would lose you. I don't regret what happened that night or kissing you afterwards, but I have to admit that I'm very scared to see where this is going and that, if it doesn't work, we'll end up drifting apart... I don't wanna lose you..."-she whispered and you smiled a little

-"Mel-Mel... You're a thousand steps ahead... We slept and were together, first we need to talk honestly if we want that to happen again or not and if we want something serious or not. You can't think about the end of a relationship that hasn't even begun yet. I'm willing to try to see where this goes if you want it too. I can't promise you what the end of this will look like, but I know that if we try our best, we will have a good result. I always liked you but I didn't try anything because you were in a relationship, but I've always wanted to be with you. Waking up next to you was one of my happiest mornings. I'm willing to see where this goes, say you want too... I don't think fear will stop the great Melissa Schemmenti from doing anything..."-you said caressing her cheek and she leaned on your touch

-"I wanna try to... I'm really sorry about my behavior... I'll make a fancy dinner for you as an apology... And maybe after you could spend the night at my house..." - she smiled looking ant you and kissed your forehead while you nodded hugging her tightly. Barbara looked at you very happily, seeing how finally the everyday flirtation turned into love between you.

[thebearme]

Got any re8 Heisenberg headcanons? (I definitely am so normal about him)

Don't worry, I'm completely normal about him too.

Ethan works with Karl to stop Miranda, but they aren't exactly friends after that, but they learn to like each other.

Chris was originally was going to put Karl into the military as a living bioweapon, but with enough convincing. Ethan got him to just let stay with him and Rose. They're roommates now.

Karl is thankful for Ethan to help him avoid that fate, but he is still frustrated on how his life is in someone's hand. Now he has to listen to Ethan or run the risk of being killed or weaponized. So the anger is the living arrangement is mutual.

Karl tends to be untrusting of everyone, like a feral stray dog. So Karl stays in the basement and minds his business.

Ethan and Mia had a mutual divorce, The relationship was built on rocky ground, and they understand that. But what Mia doesn't understand is why Ethan would have this moldy hobo live with him, and frankly- he doesn't know either.

Karl was a stinky man. His hands are rough and dry, chipped sharp nails that seem to always have something underneath them despite that fact of him wearing gloves most of the time. He covered in a layer of grease, sweat and car oil, smells like copper, gasoline, sweat, cigars, rain dew and a hint of mold and rot. LOVEY ISN'T IT! A sensory overload dream. His hair WILL make a crunchy noise if touched, and don't bother trying to comb through it.

Ethan made sure that his mf got a shower with some actual soap. He may look the same but trust in the fact if you were in a room with him, you'll actually be able to hug him without getting high from the gasoline.

Karl's hair gets so fluffy when conditioned.

It took months before Ethan trusted Karl in watching Rose or let alone hold her.

Karl LOVES sweets.

He originally didn't know about Home Depot because Ethan was worry that there will quickly be no Home Depot.

There's no longer a Home Depot.

Heisenberg will melt when he hears Rose's first words.

The day that Heisenberg finds out what a Samsung fridge is- IT'S OVER!

Heisenberg lived off of military ration meals till now, so he has to resort to the next best thing here: hungry man TV dinners. And kid cuisine when Rose goes into solid food.

HE CAN COOK! To be particular, grill. But he's kinda going through that depression that led you to not take care of himself.

Karl HATES the rain, It rusts all his metal, and he is in content risk of getting struck by lightning, He's a living lightning rod. Ethan tries to be nice and help him by giving him a rubber rain suit, leading him to wear three layers of protection: fishing overalls, rain boots, raincoat, rubber gloves, rain hat and a rubber poncho.

You can hear him from a mile away with all that rubber squeaking.

Heisenberg surprisingly was a virgin for a long time, and it makes sense. He was too busy in his factory to be with anyone romantically nor platonically, let alone get laid. He never really cared till he thought about it now, especially when Ethan has living proof that he fucked. *CUT TO FUNNY KARL SPEED DATING SEQUENCE* this is probably a very sharp contrast to others hc of karl but idc it's my hc

Heisenberg and Ethan have that opposite attract dynamic, Karl gets to teach him that life doesn't end or need to be tense just because they're mole zombies. While Ethan teaches Karl to unpack his years trauma, cuz that shit will come to haunt you.

Ethan found some room for Heisenberg to sleep upstairs instead.

Eventually Ethan gets so close with Heisenberg he actually starts calling him by his first name.

That was noticed by Mia and Chris, which made them nervous in where Ethan loyalty would lie when something were to happen.

Heisenberg never had clean water before, so just imagine him with the crisp 3am water.

Chris only allows Karl to experience the outside monthly. But Ethan sneaks Karl with him when he can. As long, he doesn't scare anyone in town.

Karl is like a caveman entering the present day, He's culture shock is out of this world.

He loves the phrase "metal as fuck."

When Karl has a nightmare he rearrange his room to push all the metal out or nap in the living room. When Karl and Ethan got closer he started sleeping in Ethan's room. Even though their hearts beat slow, the human warmth is still there.

Karl never wants to talk about what his nightmare was about or why he feels better sleeping in a room with less metal.

Here some songs that I always relate to Heisenberg:

Now I'm about to go into what my hc is for Heisenberg before re8.

tw body horror and child abuse

I have the headcanon that Karl wasn't from the village, but his family was. He was born in the states and unknowingly has the genes that make him very susceptible to the mold mutation. Eventually, after his grandfather died and passed the factory/mines to his parents, they all moved to Europe. Explaining the contrasting transatlantic accent.

But like all things, Miranda had to ruin. She noticed the newcomers of the village; she saw how they also have a child and decided to take action. Miranda killed Karl Heisenberg's parents and took him in to experiment on with the cadou parasite.

His gift was unknown till one check up later after all of his complaints of feeling of something tearing into him. Miranda realized that there seems to be scraps of metal like nuts and bolts dug and tear through into his body to his bones like a magnet.

When he's in is REM sleep, his electromagnet powers moves and attract scraps of metal to him. Leaving him to wake up with blood on his sheets, but the wound already healed like nothing happened. But Karl does know it feels harder to move every day.

Miranda made sure to test him on his gift. He looks completely human and is powerful, he was almost perfect… The one single flaw in him is the fact that even as a helpless child that had no one else to rely on but her. He still hated her.

Heisenberg was the youngest of the four lords and the favorite, and he hated it. Dude would just spend all his time by himself, leaving himself tape recorders. He eventually started to entertain himself as if he was a radio host. The theater kid possesses him.

Eventually when he got older he got into contact with The Duke and was able to purchase tapes and machinery scraps from him. The tapes turned out to be American documents of ww2, leading Heisenberg to his American freedom fighter rhetoric.

When he detransform from his big monster form, he has to go get a lil help. He has to get rid of the pieces of metal without just tearing off pieces of his flesh, That shit is hard to grow back you know!

[squishmallowo]

EDIT: TME/TMA ARE NOT INTERSEXIST TERMS PLS STOP INTERACTING WITH ME IF YOU BELIEVE THIS THANK YOU - sincerely, an intersex person who actually listens to transfems (including intersex transfems) (no not tme people with pcos/ncah/whatever, you know what i mean)

anyways.. here's the original post:

i regularly see people talk about whether pcos should be considered an intersex condition or not.. and tbh, regardless of what you think, pcos (specifically the symptoms they call virilisation) is treated like an intersex condition in practice anyway

even if they don't actually use the word intersex, so many of the symptoms are completely harmless and instead they're defined by the fact that they're "male" characteristics on a "female", if that isn't intersex then idk what is! having the "wrong" sex characteristics according to society is how intersex is (or at least should be) defined

like hell even the term hirsutism on its own literally only exists because of intersexism, the literal definition of it is "male pattern hair growth"... that's literally just it, the only thing that makes it a "symptom" is being the wrong person to have this kind of hair growth

while intersexness does centre around physical traits, imo it's the way society treats us and reacts to our bodies that actually makes us intersex (as an identity and community), if i wasn't treated this way growing up (and still treated this way today!!), i would probably not have identified as intersex, i think it's important to keep this in mind when looking at how people decide what an intersex condition even is

so with that logic, it makes perfect sense for hyperandrogenic pcos to be considered intersex, the only reason why it isn't is because society benefits from having a large group of women to put below other women while still telling them they have a chance to be "normal" like other women, as long as they put the effort into it.. (by making them spend thousands on stuff like hair removal, weight loss, fertility treatments, anti-androgens, surgery, etc!)

them identifying as intersex in any way completely breaks the illusion, it separates the "male" features from the actually bad symptoms, people would start to question why they have to put themselves through so much effort rejecting their bodies just to be seen as normal, and ofc society does not want that, especially because it makes a lot of money to keep things this way

even the way pcos is diagnosed reeks of this, you could easily be diagnosed with it even if your only problem is high androgens and nothing else (i've been told to get checked for pcos for the crime of: simply having more testosterone than average)

if you tell someone their perfectly harmless features are actually part of this scary disorder that needs treatment then it suddenly becomes a lot easier to manipulate them into finding a "cure" for these harmless features, the pathologisation of intersex features is a huge part of what makes intersex an identity in the first place..

not only that, but ncah (a condition that's more commonly accepted as intersex) is almost always misdiagnosed as pcos, if pcos can look almost exactly like an intersex condition, it is probably intersex. i most likely have ncah, not pcos, and it's treated as almost the same especially before it's actually diagnosed as ncah

and if nothing else, if the intersex "symptoms" of pcos could somehow be found out at birth, and could be "fixed" by a surgery, they absolutely would do it (something that so many intersex children have to suffer through), the only reason why they don't is because they can't, if that isn't enough proof on its own that pcos can be intersex then idk what is!!

the experience of being pathologised for having the "wrong" sex characteristics (both primary and secondary) is what makes intersex a community and grouping these "symptoms" in with actually bad symptoms under one syndrome is not by accident!

[dyns33]

Halloween

Here a little rz Michael Myers x reader for Halloween !

Of course Y/N had heard of Michael Myers.

Not because she was a fan of sordid news stories, but because his had appeared in the middle of all the search results associated with that name when she had typed it online, after receiving the name of her soulmate.

Y/N had read the story. She had seen the photos of a young Michael, ten years old, who had killed his stepfather, his sister and her boyfriend.

But there were other Michael Myers in the world. It wasn't a very common name, but there were several.

So she considered it possible that he wasn't her Michael.

Why would fate have linked her to a killer ? According to his psychiatrist, he was evil. He had killed a nurse at the asylum, for no reason. He was very dangerous, he had no soul, no consideration for others, no love to give.

Y/N hadn’t read Doctor Loomis’ book. She had read enough, and she didn't want to think about this story anymore, moving on with her life and waiting to meet her soulmate.

The name of the asylum should have been familiar to her when her friend Daryl told her about it, but she wasn't really listening to that part. A childhood friend had suffered a violent breakdown, attacking his neighbors, and now he was locked up there.

"His family isn't going to see him from what I've heard. No one is going to see him. I thought… I thought it would be nice to visit him ? If you want to come ?"

She wasn't as close to Ben as she was to Daryl, but Y/N agreed, because it was indeed a charitable act, and if something similar happened to her, she hoped someone would do the same for her, not leaving her alone in such a place

. Everything was going pretty normally. Ben was calm, helped by his treatment and visibly happy to see them. Sitting together in a sort of drab canteen, they were chatting, while other patients were outside, tied to pedestals in the middle of a courtyard.

Y/N didn’t pay attention to them at first. Then a doctor rushed into the room, going towards the windows until he reached the one next to their table. He then turned towards them, then back towards the window, before settling his gaze on Y/N.

"It's you."

"… What ?"

“It’s you he’s looking at.” the doctor murmured as if fascinated.

Not understanding what he was talking about, Y/N looked at him for a long time, then at the window. No one seemed as agitated as the doctor. Everything seemed normal.

There was only this giant man, with long dirty blonde hair and an orange mask, who was turned in her direction. He actually seemed to be looking at her, but Y/N didn’t see why. She wasn't even sure if he could really see her from where he was.

The doctor had started talking again as she looked at the huge patient, but she wasn't listening. She only came back into the room when he placed a hand on her shoulder, which made her jump. Very slightly, almost imperceptibly, this also seemed to irritate the patient on the other side of the window.

"I know he's very impressive, don't look at him. Look at me. What's your name ?"

“Uh… Y/N, but I…”

"Y/N ? Y/N Y/L/N ?"

"Yes, why ?"

The doctor seemed crazy. As crazy as the patients. He looked at her like she was one of them, while Ben and Daryl were completely lost.

Not Y/N. She didn't need to read the doctor's name to understand his reaction, nor to guess how he knew hers. Even if he had never given it in his interviews or in his book, Doctor Loomis must have known the name of his favorite patient's soulmate.

The patient was still in the courtyard, watching them intently, his fists clenched.

But that didn't make sense, because he had no way of knowing who she was. They had never seen each other before, and she hadn't given her name at the door, just following Daryl. It was unlikely that Ben would have talked about her.

"He knows a lot of things. Would you like to talk to him ?" asked the doctor.

Y/N decided in that moment that he was really crazy. He could have reassured her, apologized, given her explanations, but his first instinct was to want to organize a meeting, to study Michael's reactions. Nothing else mattered.

She wanted to refuse. This didn't seem like a good idea. She could still leave and pretend she didn't understand what was happening and run away from here, never to return. But even without looking at him, she felt the eyes hidden behind the orange mask on her.

She had the feeling that his eyes would follow her everywhere from now on.

It was after she had given her consent that Doctor Loomis seemed to consider that he should promise her that she would not risk anything. Michael hadn't had an accident in years, he would be tied up, and several guards would be in the room, he wouldn't hurt her.

Very reassuring.

Michael Myers was already chained to a chair when she entered. The doctor invited her to sit opposite him.

It was hard to watch him. Not because he was huge, and scary, and weird with his mask. No, it was hard to think that her soulmate was right there, and that this would be the only interaction they would ever have, her tetanized on one side of the table, and him tied up on the other.

“Michael, do you know who this person is ?” the doctor began with a soft voice, too soft, as if he were speaking to a child.

"He knows." Y/N answered for him, still feeling his eyes on her.

She didn't turn to Loomis when he looked at her in surprise, wanting to know why she said that, how she could know. It was hard to escape those eyes.

"Good. So Michael, we often talked about Y/N when you were a kid. You couldn't wait to meet her. How do you feel today ?"

The scene was as sad as it was painful. It was obvious that Michael wouldn't speak. He hadn't spoken in years. But the doctor insisted, again and again, asking him lots of questions, making stupid remarks.

Then he wanted Y/N to speak. She didn't know what to say. She had often imagined this moment, but the meeting never happened like this. What could she say to Michael ?

"I'm sorry." was the only thing that came to her mind.

Michael didn't move, but she thought she saw something in his eyes. Loomis was not pleased, putting a hand on her shoulder to shake her and force her to say more.

As soon as his fingers touched her, Michael was on his feet, his chair falling behind him and his chains making a dangerous noise, indicating that they could break at any moment if he pulled on them a little more. The guards pointed their weapons at him, but the doctor ordered them not to move, immediately withdrawing his hand.

"Sorry, Michael. I didn't mean to make you angry. But it's very good. You reacted, it's very good. We'll do it again another day."

Y/N had no intention of doing it again another day. She didn't tell the doctor even though he asked her to leave the room.

As she passed him, Michael grabbed her hand. The guards were tense again, and the doctor became a bit more panicked, asking his patient to remain calm and not do anything stupid.

He could have hurt her badly. Y/N knew it, and that was why she had the intelligence to b afraid. But he didn't squeeze hard, just holding her hand so she would stay a bit longer, breathing hard and movingas close as possible to her despite his chains.

"… I'm sorry." she repeated, freeing herself and leaving quickly.

She hadn't given Loomis her number or address. Ben had understood that she did not want to be contacted by the doctor, promising not to give any information about her. He didn't like the doctor anyway. He had no way of finding her.

There was only one thing Y/N had forgotten. If the doctor couldn't, Michael could. He knew a lot of things, even though it seemed impossible.

He had known right away who she was, and now that his eyes had landed on her, he wouldn't leave her.

As she could not be contacted, no one called to tell her he had escaped. The media had not yet been alerted, so that the population would not panic for nothing.

Maybe Y/N could have had a doubt, noting that it was Halloween. Michael Myers was killing on Halloween night.

However, she wasn't as surprised as she might have been when she found a man in her living room. Huge, with a white mask and a mechanic's outfit. Staying in a dark corner, breathing hard and staring at her.

It was harder to see his eyes with this mask, but she could feel them. It had been over a month since they met, but she hadn't forgotten that feeling. She had often dreamed of him, waking up with a start, because these dreams often turned into nightmares.

Y/N had no idea if that would be the case now.

"… Good evening Michael." she said slowly, staying near the door.

He didn't answer. She didn't expect him to answer, so she didn't ask questions, even though she wanted to know what he wanted, if he was going to hurt her, kill her, or worse.

He didn't have a knife. It didn't mean anything, his huge hands were like weapons.

A sob escaped her without her realizing it, and Michael tilted his head to the side, watching the tear that ran down her cheek.

Then he approached with a slow step, a deceptive step, because Y/N knew very well that she couldn't escape him and that if she tried to flee, he would catch her without difficulty.

Trembling, she watched him stand in front of her, his hand touching her face to wipe away the tear. The gesture was almost gentle, like when he had stopped her in the asylum.

Maybe Loomis wasn't entirely wrong, maybe he wouldn't hurt her. The only person in the world he didn't want to hurt.

“Sorry…” she said again stupidly, continuing to tremble.

In response, he gently patted her head in a reassuring gesture, indicating that he was not angry. He must have known the effect he had on people.

He then put his hand in the pocket of his suit and took out something which he handed to her. A candy. Michael only seemed satisfied when she accepted it and put it in her mouth.

Then he left through the back door, without a word.

It was Halloween night. He had things to do.

Then maybe he would come back for her.

Y/N didn’t know. She didn't know whether to call the asylum or the police. He was a killer, a dangerous madman, the devil, the boogeyman you couldn't escape, but also her soulmate. The one she had waited for her whole life.

So she remained motionless in the living room, crying until she was exhausted, and heard the sound of the door opening again.

[visionsofmagic]

day 23: heimdall [dom/sub]

࿓ synopsis • heimdall likes to be on his knees for you.

―❦ nsfw, sub!heimdall, goddess!reader, ownership, necklace, pet names, eating out, cumming, fingering, begging, edging, ‘is all! • 0.7k • it has been a long time since I’ve wrote for him, yet, it’s still so fun! enjoy! [kinktober m.]

looking down, a magnificent sight of purple eyes come into view - they look at you as if the owner of them is worshipping you - well, he does, isn’t he?

or else why he, the almighty god who sees everything - fearful to others, would be on his knees, letting your hand hold his hair, pulling it closer to yourself, making his warm mouth and tongue hit your pussy’s entrance harder, and looking so vulnerable like that.

he’s sure so beautiful that it seems like a daydream rather than reality. weren’t it the sense - the high pleasure coming from your soaking pussy and flowing through your entire body so great, you would think it was a dream. yet, here he is, standing between your inner thighs, hands under them, pulling you closer so that he can taste you better - further as he whimpers, and moans without even knowing how messy he looks - something he will not let anyone see it but for you, oh for you, he can do anything if it satisfies you.

a hand travels on his braids, smiling, biting your lips to shutting your moans for a moment, just watching how amused he is as he eats you so good with his hot tongue. the hand moves to his cheek from there, purple eyes shine brighter, and find his sharp chin only to reach your destination, finding the golden necklace he has around his beautiful neck - your own name written on it.

playing with it, you praise him as the other hand is caressing his hair gently as if it wasn’t the one which pulled it a second ago, “oh my pretty boy - you’re doing so good for your goddess - ohhh, heimdall!”

he smiles widely at the sounds you begin to make when he begins to finger your already abused yet still greedy pussy through the wetness you have, “ohhh - mmmhp! keep going, baby boy, please keep going!”

“anything for my goddess,” he says, shoving both his fingers and tongue into you at the same time and pace - perfect, completely - only he can make you like this - clenching, cumming so many times, being greedy for him and only you can have him like this - on his fucking knees, getting the pleasure he can never have with anything else only by licking and sucking and eating you.

moaning his name loudly, you move your hips, pulling by the necklace, you leave him no time to breathe, to think - only having his mouth full of your cum as your juice flows from you into him, dripping onto his chin, finding the messy floor from there that is covered with wetness because of previous cum of you.

“ohhhh - heimdal! gooood boy - aggh, so good!”

“mmmhp!” he drinks all of it, even licking his fingers as he looks at you - so fragile yet powerful at the same time. “tastes as wonderful as always my goddess,” he adds between his heavy and rapid breathes, smiling at you with pride of making you cum for a few times, earning sweet voices from you, having you ready to take his cock after you give him permission of course.

so, he stays still, obedient as ever, waiting for you to come to your senses, eyes turning to normal, and allowing him to fuck you finally.

“please -“ he says the moment he sees the way you look at him - trying to decide whether you should make him have his hardened and aching cock for attention inside his pants, the bulge staying visible to your eyes, getting him weaker and weaker. “need you, my - my lady - agh!”

kneeling down, you pull him by the necklace once again, nose to nose, you look into his eyes - angelic looking even though he commits the best sin.

“did I allow you to speak, pretty boy?” you tease him, humiliating, and receiving another twitch on his cock - looking at it, you grab it, playing, and sending jolts of pleasure to heimdall’s body, you listen to his cute low moans. “but since you were so good for me, I will allow you to fuck me whatever you want. would you like that?”

he nods, getting up fast after you leave his greedy cock free, holding his pants, beginning to unzip it - lust washes over him, the mind is so blurry, only desiring to have you under him finally - taking control for a while even when doing what you want him to do. “don’t worry my goddess, I will fuck you so good that I will show how good I can be for you.”

❦ tagging: @lilvampirina 🩵 @snowprincesa1 🩵 @dookiemeshibear 🩵 @manuusrw

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

Innata Malevolentia - Part Three (End)

Summary: She's managed to avoid him, but is she only delaying the inevitable? | Word Count: 4.3k ~ | warnings below the cut! please read, this is DD:DNE!

Series Masterlist | Links to my Taglists: General Taglist | Ettore Taglist

warnings: DD:DNE, rape, noncon, choking, injury, violence, threatening language and actions, hair pulling, spitting, vivid descriptions of sexual assault, suicidal thoughts, murderous intent, slapping, punching, blood

‘The moment of betrayal is the worst, the moment when you know beyond any doubt that you've been betrayed: that some other human being has wished you that much evil’.

She read the passage over and over again, her fingers drifting across the torn page, curled and frayed from years of use.

Some other woman aboard the ship had read this book before it seemed, and found it necessary to highlight the passage with a soft pencil line underneath, as if she were not sure if she should be writing in the book at all.

Unsure.

She shut the book with force, not bothering to save her place. A kind of hot, poking fear prickling at the back of her neck like a spirit had entered the room and was looking right over her shoulder.

The other book she’d swiped from the Rec Room was no better at alleviating her worries.

The same woman, she surmised who had read the first, had also read this one too.

‘Why do men have to kill beautiful things?’

There was some irony in the sense that a ship, packed with a dozen prisoners, who had all done meaningfully and equally horrendous crimes, was also packed to the brim with dark books and crime novels.

Was she a beautiful thing? She asked herself.

She was a woman. That alone did not make her beautiful.

She had done unapologetically horrific, morbid things, all in service to satiate a mortal desire inside.

One she had felt when she’d pressed that scalpel to Ettore’s neck and pushed, watching the veins and arteries beneath throb with life.

It was a shameful thing to admit to herself, that she’d wanted to see that life blood coat her hands, just as they had done on Earth all those years before.

To compare herself to him, did her no favours. She was merely opening yet another argument inside of one. Who is inherently good, amongst murderers and rapists?

There was nobody good here.

They were made for this. Built to suffer.

And it was Dibs who had dared to introduce their sexuality into that suffering. And she didn’t know if she could ever forgive the old bitch for that.

When men like Ettore see a woman, they see a small, pliant, weak little thing. Something to be twisted and bent to his liking, in positions most favourable to him. A man that revelled and moaned at their displeasure, drinking it in like a life essence, as if he could not survive without it.

She didn’t doubt that there were many before, women who had the unfortunate chance to happen upon him. And if they were lucky, perhaps they didn’t make it out of his grasp. Perhaps he would bend them so irreparably, they’d just snap, mouth frozen, eyes all distant and still wet with unfallen tears.

She looked up to the empty spot where Mink used to occupy the space. Her bed made, and untouched for days since the couples were put together.

“I might as well try and have some fun out of it. Besides, Tchemy isn’t bad looking”.

Mink had said as she threw the few belongings she had into the spare blanket, wrapping them up to carry them easily.

She’d remembered being sat where she is now, listening to Mink talk about it like it was the most normal thing in the world. To tell the truth, it made her feel a bit sick.

Mink was leaving her, to join Tchemy in his cell.

Leaving her all alone. Without the female company she craved acting as some kind of protection.

But then again, she doubted that would have swayed Ettore one bit.

From her spot, she could hear Tchemy’s bed rattle against the wall, rhythmically, and the soft pants of hurried breaths punctuated through each little pat. She imagined Mink, pressing her lips together, trying to contain just how much she enjoyed it, wrapping her legs around the man who rutted into her from above, wordlessly asking for more.

She’d heard Mink moan his name, and it made her feel even worse.

As far as she knew, Boyse and Monte remained apart, completely upset with each other at the situation they’d been forced into.

Though Boyse liked Monte to an extent, as far as she could tell, it was a platonic sort of romance. Intrigue, perhaps more than anything. But nothing overtly sexual seemed to radiate off either of them.

She thought with a sense of dread, that if the situation had been different.

If Ettore hadn’t been Ettore.

That he ‘wouldn’t be bad looking’ either.

But he is Ettore.

And he was everything she ever feared he would be. But had yet to show his full, true, unwavering potential.

In the days that followed the announcement, and she didn’t entirely know how, she’d managed to steer clear of him. Avoiding him as if knowing his whereabouts before he even knew them himself.

The cell without Mink there felt shockingly empty, too quiet. And Dibs, as a sort of reward for participating in the fertility experiments, allowed the women involved to sleep unhindered. Yet, when she slept, she rubbed her wrists, as if she still felt tied down by them.

In a strange way she missed them. It represented a freedom before this.

But now if he did come in the night, which he didn’t, she would have been able to fight back.

Perhaps that’s why he didn’t bother.

It was too easy now.

Brutally, she almost wished he’d just do it, and get it over with. So that she didn’t have to suffer in anticipation.

It was late in the artificial evening by the time she and Boyse were almost finished with their shared duty for the day, prepping the kitchen for tomorrow’s breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was an arduous task, one that easily broke a sweat in both of them, but a nice distraction the hell the women shared with one another.

“Mink is enjoying it at least,” Boyse muttered.

She only hummed in response, while she busied herself stacking away the various pots and pans. Disinterested in the subject already, as if it had not been plaguing her mind everyday since.

“Monte and I tried last night”, Boyse confessed suddenly, her eyes looking very much like a scared girl. She was young. And it was only evident when she was afraid, just how tiny she was.

Boyse shrugged, “It’s not so bad…” she murmurs, unconvincingly, “...he’s nice about it”.

She struggles to see what the point of the conversation is.

Boyse starts, “Maybe with-”

“That maybe with Ettore it will be all cute, romantic and lovely?” she interrupts, her voice firm, “Have you been that blind to who he is this whole time? I know you’re not that stupid”.

The other woman has nothing to say to that.

And the silence stretches uncomfortably.

“It’ll happen eventually, you know…” Boyse remarks.

But she can only give a small, exhausted huff. Knowing that she was completely right.

If by the time their first examination came around, Dibs found out there was no sexual intercourse, it wouldn't take long for her to force them into a room together, and throw away the key.

She never imagined herself a mother.

Why would she, when she can hardly atone for her own actions?

What if they all got pregnant?

What would become of this floating prison then?

She'd told Boyse to go off early while she finished up labelling the portions for tomorrow's dinner.

But really, she just wanted some time to herself, and perhaps a nightly visit to the Box to tie things off.

The canteen was dark, a blue, unnatural light stretching across the linoleum floor, making the ship feel colder than it actually was.

She wondered where he might be right now. He was more often than not on maintenance, on the other side of the ship.

Far away.

But it was late. He was probably finished by now.

The hallways were darkened and empty as she made her way down the metal ladder towards the Box. Thinking about what she might do later tonight.

Maybe finish one of those books?

Maybe go out to the deck and watch the stars and planets disappear into the blackness of space?

Sometimes it calmed her.

Down where the Box was, there were no windows. A sense of privacy.

She was about to reach for the touch-activated button when-

Darkness.

Utter and complete nothingness.

So dark she could not even see her hand before her own face.

'Temporary electrical failure. Emergency oxygen has been activated. Please wait while power is restored'.

Harsh blue lights flashed for a second, illuminating the hallway for a brief moment, a loud, searing alarm accompanying it. Her eyes hurt from the intensity of it.

"Fucking piece of shit ship.." she murmured, using the brief light of the alarms to navigate her way through to the control panel in the maintenance cupboard.

She huffed with annoyance, that there was no emergency torch inside the maintenance cupboard to light her view. The flashing blue light would have to do.

She could barely think with the incessant booming noise.

And it all seemed to go quiet, her face going all pale.

The wires connecting the electrics to the mains, were missing. Deliberately.

Dread pooled in her stomach. And the resonant ringing of alarms were pulled back up to her ears, setting every nerve on edge, fear prickling the little hairs at the back of her neck.

Her breath felt hot in her chest, difficult to push up her throat.

She shuffled back, her back meeting the wall of the hallway in a state of shock. Every now and then her vision going black when the blue lights went down, now feeling significantly longer than a simple second.

Like a rabbit in the deep, dark bushes of a forest, her head whipped at the sound of movement over the intense alarming environment.

It took a moment to really see, as the lights made it feel almost nightmare-like. Sucking his figure into darkness to illuminate him again in his dark red prison garb. His light blue, but darkened eyes staring at her from under his brow.

His expression was stoic, fading into darkness. She expected him to approach slowly between periods of nothingness, like those horror movies she always used to watch on Earth.

But this was very real.

A very real horror in the form of a man.

Ettore dropped the wires onto the floor, his form looking significantly smaller on the other side of the hallway, mercifully far away.

Instinctually, she felt for the shape of the scalpel in her pocket, her senses set alight to find it wasn't there.

It was difficult to see the smug look on his face.

"Look at you. All soft and pretty, waiting for me to have my way with you. With that dumb look on your face".

She swallowed over the lump that formed, fear overtaking everything else, her legs primed to run.

"It would be a shame, if I took what I wanted without asking".

A shame.

But he would do it anyway.

She thought, if he was a true predator, he'd be able to hear her breath, feel the thrum of her beating, female heart, as if it were in the palm of his hand, squeezing savagely.

"Don't you think?"

She waited for it to go black before she broke into a run, hoping to at least make it to the deck, where she knew there'd be more chance of escape to the safety of her cell.

But did it really matter?

Navigating the hallways, though mostly straight and clear, was still difficult with the flashing of blue light and then inconceivable blackness.

The floors of the hallway or the bed of her cell?

Choose your poison, it's still killing you nonetheless.

And every time she shifted one leg before the other, she heard him running after her.

Getting closer.

He was much faster. Taller. With wider strides.

She crossed the deck, beneath the skylight, her laboured breathing burning-

Pain.

Blood?

She felt him tug at her hair, wrenching her head back first and then straight into the metal doorframe.

Was her vision fading? Or were those the lights?

Everything felt so blurry.

Was he talking?

The floor was cold against her face. The blood in her hairline where the fresh cut has sliced into her skin sliding warmly down the side of her face.

Her head throbbed.

Where am I?

A large hand pulled at her shoulder, turning her over onto her back. And she felt warmth on her legs where his broad body was straddling her, his head partially blocking off the cosmic light emitted from the skylight, making the blonde wisps of his hair light up in a half-halo.

For a moment everything was quiet.

She blinked slowly. Before fear and panic gripped at her senses, flinging her headlong into fight or flight.

She felt pitiful, pushing against his chest with all that remained of her strength, a small voice saying, "Get the fuck off me!"

Watching his face split into a grin in horror, Ettore took her wrists easily and twisted, loving the pained grunt she gave him in return as he slammed them to the floor, "You wanna be rough? Fine, let's do it properly then, shall we?"

Her vision spun violently when his fist cracked against her jaw once, sending her face flying to one side.

This time, she was sure she blacked out for a second.

Blood in her mouth, coating her teeth.

It was so cold.

Using her moment of vulnerability, Ettore huffed animalistically, out of breath from running, as he tore at the front of her shirt, splitting it in two and exposing her breasts. He took a handful of one and pinched spitefully at the flesh. The motion jolted her, and she moved her legs and hips in an attempt to get him off her.

"You made me do this" he uttered darkly, "you know I can't control myself".

No I don't. She thought with panic.

"You were asking for it".

No I wasn't. She thought with fear.

I never asked for this.

Consciousness rose in waves to the surface, strength slowly gaining. And she pushed her legs against him, her hips, anything to get him off her. She writhed beneath him, her lips etched into a frown as she tried to break free.

"Don't make me hurt you".

His words had no effect.

It felt like life or death.

She ripped one wrist free and slapped him harshly across the face, her nail dragging along his cheek, watching with tired pride as he grimaced.

Before his face set into a scowl again.

"Stupid worthless cunt", he punctuated it with a slap of his own, in the same spot he'd punched her previously. Nausea rolled in her gut at the pain, her eyes near rolling back as she struggled to keep herself afloat and conscious.

She felt hands all over her.

Under her ripped shirt, kneading her breasts in his calloused palms.

His knee anchoring her legs down as one hand ripped at her sweatpants to tear them off with a grunt.

Vomit bubbled at the back of her throat when she felt her core exposed to the chill of the air, and how he simply looked at it, growling like an animal.

"No…" was all she found the courage to say, "Stop…"

Her mouth felt so dry.

Ettore chuckled, "Stop?", he mocked, "you should be grateful I'm even doing this".

Grateful?

Her bleary, dazed eyes rolled around before landing on him. Watching as he knelt, looking down at her, pulling his sweatpants over his hips just enough to free his length.

He was aroused at the thought of hurting her.

One hand was wet with saliva, rubbing the artificial slickness over his length as the other pushed meanly against her folds, dryly prying them apart, introducing a searing, uncomfortable pain.

She felt blood in her eyebrow as she furrowed them both in anguish, trying to push herself on her back away from him as he touched her without care.

He huffed in annoyance when he found she wasn't wet in the slightest, as if he had expected her to be.

She fought the urge to gag when she saw him lean over and spit on her core, using the hand that was already there to smear his saliva over her.

The waves of pain tugged her lower.

So much so she could barely hear his voice.

Come on. Get up.

She tried, she really did.

Get up and fight him.

Writhing weakly beneath him, "Get…off…" she said firmly, through the wavering tones of agony.

She felt real, real fear when he leaned over her like a big, broad shadow, and pressed his palm against her neck, his fingers tightening against her flesh with the veins flexing.

"Shut the fuck up and take it".

Her lips parted to gather air.

Air that wouldn't pass into her lungs.

I'm going to die.

She gasped and swallowed for oxygen, tears covering her eyes as she felt his knee prop her limp legs apart.

"This is what happens to women who don't know their fucking place" he hissed in her face meanly.

She felt she truly wanted to die, when she felt the head of his cock part her folds and push into her dryly, brutally. Her walls tight, trying to push him out. He only let out a sigh, warm against her face. Too soft for the horrendous crime he was committing on her body.

If his hand hadn't been clamped on her throat, she would've screamed.

His face showed no pleasure in the intermittent blue light of the alarms. And it was only here she realised they were still sounding, as her consciousness was constantly being ripped from her.

She winced in torment, as he reached the end of her, splitting her open painfully on his length. His body was against hers, holding her down, pushed to the hilt inside of her and tearing up her insides, causing the faintest bit of blood to wet his length inside of her.

The air was getting thin in her head.

Just kill me.

Just a little more, and I will be dead.

But instinctually, as he let go to sit back on his haunches, her body took a deep breath in, filling her lungs again. Her throat, sore and battered, felt like fire as she coughed weakly.

No.

A tear was stinging her cheek where he'd punched her, now blooming with an early bruise.

It was only now he looked like he was enjoying himself. His cock dragging ruthlessly in and out of her, igniting the pain in a new place. He fucked into her quickly and without care of her mewls of pain, bullying the end of her like he wanted to impale her.

Like he wanted to kill her.

She watched his face briefly light up with blue as he looked down to where he'd split her open, her sex still trying to reject his assault with every harsh smack inside.

Realising her own body was denying him, he pressed harder against her, only to smirk at hearing her heightening volume of protests.

She felt as if every hard and dry journey inside of her, that he was taking a little bit of her away with him. Felt her heart breaking with little shards peeling off.

Fire licked between her legs, up her spine, fuelling the burning migraine.

"You like that, don't you? Bet you've been waiting for me - oh fuck -" his moans were staggered, " - nothing but a fucking piece of meat - my little fuck toy -"

He laughed when she winced with her voice and body at the hard thrust he gave at the punctuation.

"Stop…" she pleaded weakly, though she was confident he wouldn't listen, "...hurts…"

He leaned forward, his palm pressed harshly against her abdomen, to feel himself rutting inside her, forcing her walls open around his length.

He grinned widely.

"Stop? Hurts?" he mocked in a high tone, "Yeah, I can feel your blood soaking my cock".

She could've sobbed, if her throat weren't so sore.

Her head lolled back, thudding against the linoleum with every shift of his hips driving his cock into her. She felt tears coat her vision, darkness creeping in.

His hands clamoured at her. Hips. Breasts. Neck.

But she didn't feel it anymore.

There was a numbness.

Instead, she stared up at the skylight, above where Ettore's head rhythmically moved with pleasure. His chiselled features illuminated every now and then when he tipped his head back and moaned loudly over the sound of sirens. The tattoo on his neck stretched and rippled like a puzzle.

The universe watched back.

The universe. The blackness. The void. Watched her assault.

And she thought with pain, that she wanted to be out there. Floating around mindlessly. With no air in her lungs to breathe. No effort.

She could put herself out of the airlock if she wanted to.

It was tempting.

She watched the stars and planets fold in on themselves while her body and breasts jolted with Ettore's assault. He didn't even try to touch her in a way that would bring any pleasure. He didn't care.

All he saw was a hole that needed to be filled.

He tapped her cheek. And then grabbed her face harshly. His fingers smeared the blood over her face.

"Come on now, stay with me" he cooed falsely, "I want you to feel it".

But she didn't move.

Not a single inch.

She thought of Earth.

The vast fields in her hometown.

Her family.

Going out on a Friday night to the pub with her friends.

Was today Friday?

Is that what they were doing right now?

Were they stood outside the pub, passing a cigarette around, drunkenly laughing and pink in the face from the chill of the breeze.

Did they think of her?

His thrusts began to increase in both strength and speed as he neared his end. Her eyes planted on the skylight still.

Did they even remember her?

I'm right here.

Help me.

She fought the urge to gag as he used her hips to pull her onto him repeatedly, his breath quickening in the telltale way.

He pushed himself as far inside her as he could go, fucking sloppily into her as blood streaked his length.

And with a long, loud grunt, he stilled and went all rigid.

And the warmth at the end of her made her want to die right there.

The blood in her eyebrow had now begun to slide down her face, her head throbbing still. Pupils shaking.

Ettore's eyes were screwed shut, looking more so in pain than pleasure as he emptied himself inside her. Thrusting shallowly with a loud squelch, pushing his cum deep, moulding her insides to the shape of him. Prolonging his selfish pleasure.

You could beat me to death. So just do it.

Kill me so I don't have to feel like this.

She couldn't help the little sound she let out when he pulled out of her. Though he was now only half hard, the feeling of his cock reigniting the pain through her sensitive walls had her arch her back to get away from him.

For a long moment, he simply looked at her. Every now and then to his hands, the tips of his fingers painted with blood. His blue eyes flitting from her brutalised core, to her face, which showed nothing.

There was nothing.

Did I deserve this?

She felt only a dull sense of shame as his cum leaked out of her. And the thought of one day being pregnant, perhaps as a result of this, felt devastating.

She thought, she wanted to make him feel every inch of what she'd felt.

There was something inside missing now.

As if with every thrust, he had pushed something out of her, to make room for him. And those bits she'd lost, she could never get back.

All she could hear was her breath, weak and shuddered.

It wasn't clear exactly when Ettore stood up to leave.

But after pulling himself from her, he didn't touch her.

There was only the artificial warmth of the cosmos to warm her cold, numb body. Looking down at the ripped and torn human shaped entity that was once a living, breathing woman.

'But who can remember pain, once it's over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see'.

Maybe that book was right.

The alarms stopped, and darkness descended once again.

She felt the blood and cum on her inner thighs begin to dry.

How long have I been here?

Her clothes were falling off her as she crawled over to the doorway, using the frame to pull herself onto her shaky feet, a deep, stabbing pain thrumming through her core.

A trail of blood was all she left behind on the floor.

Unlike his other victims, he couldn't just kill her to get her to shut up. Or do it so she'd be out the way, and wouldn't tell anyone.

She was stuck here, with him, to face the truth of his actions.

Perhaps that's why he'd been so quiet after. That realisation that she was a dangerous person as well when prodded.

Her body ached as she reached the haven of the showers, wanting all proof and memory of his touch off her sooner rather than later.

It was a challenge removing her clothes, her joints rolling uncomfortably from the hardness of the floor against her back.

Even the warm flow of water onto her naked skin couldn't cleanse her of what she felt. The bruises around her neck, her hips, her back and the torn apart agony she felt inside her, wouldn't subside quickly.

No tears.

No crying.

There was just nothing.

Hair damp around her shoulders, and new clothes freshly sticking to her tacky skin, she took calculated steps through the hall, the blue light setting dread in her stomach.

She clutched the knife in her hand like she was born to it, moulded to her skin, and as if she wanted to put all the suffering she'd felt into keeping it close to her.

Ettore slept on his back, chest rising and falling steadily with sleep. Half of his naked torso covered by the sheets.

The first thought she had was, how can he sleep?

Does he not know how he has changed me?

What he's created.

She thought, that he was like a child, taking what he wanted without bothering or even thinking about the repercussions. Snatching the sense of autonomy from the women he came across as easy as swiping the possessions from someone's pocket.

That he must have been either broken to the point of emptiness or simply evil.

But now, broken by him, inside and out, she could not find it in herself to have a slither of empathy for him, warranted or not.

He deserved this.

The blade twisted in her fingers, her eyes roaming him wondering where would be best to kill him the quickest.

An artery somewhere.

Bleed out.

She didn't flinch as his blue eyes opened softly, looking right at her, sensing another heartbeat in the room with him.

Look at me.

Look at what you have made.

He blinked down at the knife, and then back up to her.

And had the indecency to smirk.

Quotes: The Handmaid’s Tale & We are All the Same in the Dark

General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard | @bellstwd | @blairfox04 | @hb8301 | @jamespotterismydaddy | @mochi-rose | @nenelysian | @natty2017 | @randomdragonfires | @risefallrise | @theoneeyedprince | @thelittleswanao3 | @tsujifreya | @urmomsgirlfriend1 | @valeskafics | @watercolorskyy

Ettore Taglist (1): @bellaisasleep | @iamavailablesstuff | @the-common-cowgirl | @theroyaldixon

[igotanidea]

Cinnamon: werewolf!Jason Todd x reader

Request: Yes, by anon ;)

Happy birthday to the one and only Jay Todd!

***

“Out of everyone, it has to be him, why!?”

“Are you jealous, Grayson?” Damian raise an eyebrow at his older brother. Much to everyone’s surprise, the blood soon spend last half an hour listening to Dick ranting and complaining about how unfair it was that out of the entire batfamily it was Jason who get the ability to turn into a wolf. And to make the situation even worse, he was an alpha.

“Jealous?! No! Of course not! Definitely not! Maybe a little…..?”

“If anything he envies Jason that little beta girl, he’s been seeing…….” Stephanie chimes in, chuckling at Dick’shock.

“A…. a beta? So what, he’s got a girlfriend now? Why don’t I know it?!”

“Are you three having fun gossiping about my life?!” Jason leans on the doorframe clearly annoyed at his siblings talking and discussing his private matters.

“Plenty.” Damian smirks vindictively

“You have a girlfriend?!” Dick looks at Jason with the biggest doe eye possible, trying his best to get any information out.

“Screw you Dickhead…..”

“Come on, Jaybird, don’t be like that!”

“I’m not telling you shit!”

“Pleeeeaaasseeeeee…….” Dick grabs his little brother, clinging to him, dead set on not letting go before retrieving as little as the scraps “You never tell me anything anymore….”

“Yeah… wonder why is that…..” Stephane mutters sipping on her slushie

“You’re insufferable, Grayson……”

“I’m just your wonderful, caring, older brother……”

“Nosy, intrusive, controlling, gossiping…..” J

“Hey! That is….. a bit true…..” Dick pouts “but still caring!!”

“I’m done with you. I’m going out…..” Jace mutters turning towards the door

“Can I watch you turn?!” Damian yells after him, his love for the animals taking over as the youngest Wayne rushes after Jason, hoping to see him transform into that beautiful, majestic wolf. “Todd!!”

However, what comes in package with being a werewolf is speed and even Damian with Robin skills could not compare with the rate of transformation. When Damian reached the door, Jason was already gone, the only trail of him being the imprint of foot on the path leading to the manor.

“Damn…..”

***

Jason refused to answer any of Dick’s question not because of how intrusive they were, but because he was afraid to be forced to put a tag on what he had with Y/N.

She was… something.

And he felt something for her.

Even if he wasn’t sure what it was.  

It was not normal for an alpha to get connected to beta. The rule was simple as it was. Alpha paired with omega. ALWAYS. So Y/N was an anomaly. On every possible field.

And now his wolf instinct made him run to her. Her scent were calling him.

Cinnamon.

She always smelled like cinnamon.

Maybe it was because of her human profession, since she was a baker and her show-off dish was cinnamon rolls and apple pie. Or maybe not. Honestly he wasn’t sure of anything, but the animal in him felt that smell and craved her.

So he run. As fast as his furry body and four strong legs allowed him.

He needed her.

And he could feel something was wrong.

He found her in the forest next to her house, her white fur shining in the light, as she laid her head on the paws looking …. sad. Like a beaten dog.

But the second she sensed him, she put the head up, looking his direction tilting it at him in the same gesture she did in her human form. And it made him feel again, wanting to do something, anything to cheer her up somehow.

Maybe he could try chasing her around? That was something that would make him feel better, surely, but Y/N was a lady in every meaning of the word. As surprising as that sounded, she hated getting dirty, avoided getting dirty, always cleaned her fur after stepping into the mud. Like a royalty. Which was even more shocking considering the fact, that as a baker she had flour everywhere on her face and clothes and hair. Maybe that was why her fur was white.

“Hey, Jace….” She called to him telepathically

“You good, Y/N?”

“just tired. Busy day at the bakery. Needed to get out of the human form and just feel instead of think.”

“Explains why you’re in the forest.”

“You look like you needed escape too.”

“Oldest brother getting intrusive.”

“Oh, yeah, family troubles….” If she was a human he would chuckle at that moment.

“Speaking from experience?”

“Maybe…..”

“Wanna run?”

“No.”

“All right…..” he walks towards her and nudge her nose with his playfully, nuzzling his head into his, hoping whatever it is on her mind will subside when he make her feel.

“Jace….?”

“I know….” he plops on the ground, paws in front of him waving his tail a sign for her to lay next to him. He knows. He knows exactly what she needs. He can feel it. And he lets her. No matter how out-of –character it may seem for him. He signed up for this. He signed up for her. And to be completely honest (not that he would admit it to Grayson, of course) he likes those silent moment with her. Only them in their wolf forms, out of the civilisation, out in the open, feeling, hearing, sensing. It’s nice and peaceful and quiet and he feels like he can be himself when she’s next to him, so close.  And it was enough. It was perfect.

***

Couple hours later, still in his werewolf form he walked her back home, not that she needed escort, but he wanted to do this. Or maybe he didn’t want to part with her.

Acting like a gentleman he turned around when Y/N turned back into human, grabbing a shirt from behind the door to cover herself. She had a twig in her messy hair, her eyes were big and shiny and her heartbeat was significantly faster than it should. Side effects of transmutation.

He should go.

He really should go.

But the way she kept standing on the threshold looking at him made him stay, unable to make a single move.

They both felt the connection.

Wolf and human.

Human and wolf.

Two wolfs. Two humans.

“Jason…..?” she trailed, taking a step forward, reaching for his fur and stroking it gently, causing him to lean into his touch. Neither of them seemed to care that the neighbours might be surprised to see a giant wolf in front of the house in the suburbs.

He knew it was not easy for her to show herself to him in her human form. It could only mean one thing. She needed him to take care of her. She needed to feel his warm, big, strong, animal body next to her. His warmth, his presence, his soft, silky pelage.

“Stay?” she whispered. “I really need some company tonight. And I had the door rebuilt to make sure you fit in inside. Please?” she looks into his eyes and it’s like as if she was reaching straight to his soul.

He can’t leave her.

Even if his sibling would tease him in the morning about not coming home for the night.

He can’t leave her.

He’s more than happy to lay on the floor in her leaving room having her arms wrapped tightly around him, making her feel safe and taken care of. Serving as her pillow.

Feeling her.

Feeling the cinnamon smell.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

for @tobias-hankel!

cw: drug addiction

---

He doesn’t think anyone knows.

Last time, of course, they knew. They knew he’d just suffered a major trauma. They knew he kept arriving late to work and snapping at the team. They knew something was very, very wrong. And they never said anything to him about it, not really. Some vague words from Gideon. A few suspicious looks from Morgan. Utter befuddlement from poor Emily. But no one ever said a word, and so, neither did Spencer.

This time, he’s more careful. 

Once again, it’s not his fault, not really. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. It’s not his fault he wasn’t coherent enough after being shot to tell the EMTs not to give him narcotics. It’s not his fault he was unconscious when the rest of the decisions about his knee surgery were made. It’s not his fault he limped out of the hospital on crutches with a bottle of Percocet, and it’s not his fault he took it, or that he took it upon himself to increase the dose. Small increments, a few days at a time. He’s a doctor. It’s fine.

It’s not his fault his team was too busy focusing on Hotch to notice any of it.

It’s not his fault that when the Percocet runs out, he manages to make his way to a crummy neighborhood in the middle of the night to pay an embarrassing amount of money for a moderate quantity of Dilaudid, and it’s definitely not his fault that the relief is so powerful, it actually makes him cry.

No, it’s not his fault, he assures himself. But it’s still a problem. It’s still a secret. It’s still scary and shameful, and Spencer is weak and broken, and he can’t let any of his teammates find out what’s happening.

He tries to be careful. It’s easy at first, because he’s on leave from work. Once he gets back, he does his best to look normal, to arrive on time, to be kind to his coworkers. He tries his best, and it’s so hard, and he truly doesn’t know if he’s succeeding. He’s not sure of much, at this point. He’s just trying to get through each day the best he can, to manage the pain in a way that’s familiar for him. 

Hotch returns to work not long after Spencer, and from the look on his face, he can tell something is wrong. He doesn’t say anything, though. He never says anything. Spencer tries to brush it off, pretends it doesn’t bother him, pretends he’s not desperate to just talk about it with someone. 

He tries, and he tries, and he tries.

And then one evening, the phone rings.

The call shows up as Unknown Caller, but Spencer answers it anyway, expecting someone trying to scam him or sell him something.

“Just listen,” the voice says on the other end. “You don’t have to say anything right now.”

And Spencer couldn’t say anything even if he wanted to, because it’s Gideon’s voice on the other end of the line, a voice he hasn’t heard in years, though he hears it in his memories and his dreams more often than he’d like to admit. 

He waits, speechless, for Gideon to continue.

“Hotch called me. We talk sometimes, you know. He keeps me up to date on what’s going on. And he told me that something’s going on with you. He’s really worried about you.”

Spencer swallows. Why would Hotch reach out to Gideon instead of just talking to Spencer himself?

What would Spencer have even said if Hotch had tried to talk to him?

“I’m assuming it’s the same problem you had last time, when you missed that plane, though Hotch couldn’t confirm anything. Maybe it’s not that. Maybe you’re just struggling emotionally, or maybe it’s something else I don’t even know about. No matter what it is, Reid, I want to help you. I want to be here for you in a way that I haven’t before.”

Spencer rubs his face with his hand. It doesn’t make sense, none of this makes sense. Gideon left. He left, and he’s gone, and Spencer made peace with that a long time ago. And now—now he doesn’t know what to do at all. Now, nothing makes sense. Nothing at all.

“Can you tell me what you’re thinking, Spencer?”

Spencer sighs. Pulls at his hair. Wrings his hands out a few times, and switches his phone from one ear to the other. 

“I messed up,” he finally whispers. “I missed another plane.”

“We can fix this,” Gideon says immediately. “Are you home? Are you safe? Can I come to you?”

“C-come to me?” Spencer repeats incredulously. 

“We obviously don’t want you detoxing on your own,” Gideon says matter-of-factly. “I’ll come help you.”

“Detoxing…”

“You know you can’t keep going like this. Something needs to change. I’m not going to let you kill yourself with this stuff.”

Spencer is quiet for a long time.

“I’m… at home,” he finally whispers.

“Stay there,” says Gideon. “I’m coming to you, okay? It’s going to take me a little while, but just—don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t,” Spencer promises. 

When Gideon shows up 30 minutes later, a needle and a vial are sitting on the coffee table, but Spencer hasn’t moved.