#literally didn't even wanna get into it i went into the tag to find cute gifsets of her but 90% of it is just hate

[enslaughts]

claire tried to be carmy's pete bla bla she doesn't even know who pete IS.... she literally just fell in love with the worst person anyone could ever fall in love with at age like fourteen. it's not that deep i promise

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part two] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A failed friend date turns into a day of fun and laughs with a rather odd coworker. [Dazai x 1stPOV!F!Reader]

3,274 words

Warning: suicide ideation (like, it's Dazai, c'mon now.)

note: I'm glad some of ya'll seemed to enjoy chuuya's chapter! I decided to just upload Dazai's and then we can move on to the story. Please enjoy! Tags in the replies.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"Keiko-- Keiko, it's two PM!" I said into the phone, sending an apologetic look to my coworkers. "And I'm at work. You can't be calling me, especially when you're drunk so early in the day."

"Uggghhhh, you're so mean!" I sighed softly at Keiko's response, the office phone on my desk beginning to ring.

"Keiko, I have to go now, I'm sorry! Call Taichi and tell him to bring you home."

"Wait-"

I ended the call, rubbing my eyebrows as I picked up the other phone. "Armed Detective Agency, how may I help you?"

It's been around three months since I've started working at the Agency, and I have to say, it was a pretty great job. It paid well, kept me on my toes with the many different cases we took on, and my coworkers were great... despite how weird they were.

"That's like the seventh time your friend called you this week," Ranpo spoke up from his desk, the man literally surrounded by snack wrappers.

I sighed deeply, rubbing my eyebrows. "I know, I'm sorry everyone. She's not usually like this... I know she likes to drink, but... never to this extent."

"Maybe there is something going on?" the cute Atsushi suggested and I frowned. "Maybe you can try to find out?"

"It wouldn’t be wise to just push yourself into someone's private life like that," Kunikida added and I nodded in agreement.

Of course I couldn't. Not with who her boyfriend was. I was her best friend, but even I knew not to step in. "Besides, she always says she's okay when I ask..." I said thoughtfully, too distracted to continue my work. I could believe her, right? Besides, she had Taichi. He loved her, and always made sure that she was protected and taken care of. He always made sure to be around her when he wasn't away, keeping her to his side at all times. I thought maybe he was being a bit too protective, but I also understood because of his... profession.

"Alright, alright, we have a schedule, people. Let's not get too distracted here," Kunikida exclaimed and I laughed softly. The only one with a schedule was the super punctual man himself, but I still went on to do my work.

"Speaking of work..." I started, unimpressed as I Iooked to the empty desk across the office. "Where the hell is Dazai?"

Atsushi just hung his head and sighed, Kunikida gritting his teeth at his desk. "I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up," Atsushi sighed again and I huffed, standing up from my desk. "I'll take my 30 now. I'll be in the cafe and I'll try to get Dazai to bring his scrawny ass to work."

The Agency was on the fourth floor of the building while the cafe was down on the first, very convenient for me. I was lazy and the coffee and food was good. I dialed up Dazai's number as I descended the four flights of stairs, pressing my phone to my ear.

At the top of one flight, I stopped when I heard a familiar ring tone blare out, and when I looked down to the bottom of the stairs, I saw the man of the hour. His brown hair was wavy as ever, his signature tanned jacket looking immaculate. I watched as he just looked at his phone, watching it ring before he put his phone in his pocket.

I hated him. "So you were just gonna ignore me?!" I shouted down the stairs. Dazai whipped his head up, eyes going comically wide.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, practically running up the stairs right towards me. I gasped and back away quickly, back hitting the wall as Dazai caged me between his bandaged arms. His forehead pressed against mine and I will my face not to burn as he looked at me with those pretty brown eyes of his. "I missed you."

My heart skipped a beat, my mouth going dry. Still, I glared up at the man. "We just saw each other yesterday," I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore the feeling of his soft breath against my face. I was thankful my voice didn't crack. "And you have plenty of paperwork to do still on your desk."

"Ehhh, I'm tired and I'm busy," Dazai nonchalantly waved that off, now standing away from me and waving his hand dismissively. "Got better things to do."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah? Like what?"

With that, Dazai took my hands in his, a hopeful look on his face. Here we go again. "Double suicide."

"No." I immediately declined him. "My answer is still the same as it was last week."

Dazai visibly deflated, covering his eyes dramatically. "Sweet death... she evades me yet again..."

"Yeah," I deadpanned, brushing past Dazai and heading down the stairs. "Anyway. I'm heading to the cafe to get something to eat."

"Oh!" Dazai exclaimed, hooking my arm with his as he quickly came up to my side. "I'll go with you!"

"You have work to do!" I yelled at him, trying to push him back up the stairs. "Go before Kunikida has an aneurysm."

"But I don't wanna!" Dazai whined, quickly turning the tables on me. Now he was behind me, his arms wrapped around me and pinning my arms to my chest. I felt his breath against my left ear and I shivered deeply. "I wanna spend time with you..." he whispered softly, his voice dropping. I bit my bottom lip, looking over at him over my shoulder. I shivered again, the usual brightness in his eyes gone. I've only seen that look on his face a handful of times, and it never failed to make me feel completely on edge. Like I was in danger.

I liked it.

"Ugh," I sneered, rolling my eyes and shaking myself out of his arms. "Fine, fine. I'll treat today, okay?"

"Yay!" Dazai's jovial nature returned as he followed me to the cafe. I shake my head at the strange duality of the man. We sat across from each other, the redheaded waitress named Lucy that obviously had a crush on Atsushi giving us some menus.

As I looked over the menu, I looked over at Dazai, the man humming as he mulled over his choices. I bit the inside of my cheek, just feeling that maybe there was more to Dazai than he let on.

The weekend soon arrived and I was in a bit of a sour mood. I was at the boardwalk, sitting on an empty bench after getting off the phone with Keiko. We were supposed to spend the day together, but she had called me thirty-minutes late, all of a sudden saying that she couldn't make it.

Her tone of voice worried me, she sounded rushed and breathless, totally unlike her. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for flaking out so suddenly," she said before she ended the call. I blinked at the screen, a bit put off by the entire thing. Just what was up with her?

Though I couldn't dwell on it, for there was a presence behind me. "Well, well, look what we have here," a teasing voice whispered into my ear before blowing into it. I shrieked, jumping off the bench before spinning around.

"Dazai!" I hissed at the laughing man standing on the other side of the bench. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Bet it got your heart pumping, huh," Dazai hummed happily, skipping around the bench and right over to me. "Bella, I missed you~" he hugged me tightly in his arms. I sighed deeply, half-heartedly wrapping my arms around him in return and giving him a pat on the back.

"We saw each other yesterday."

"Eighteen hours is too long, bella."

I rolled my eyes, pulling away from the huge and giving Dazai a look. "You're so dramatic, dude," I say with a laugh, shaking my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Hmm, well I thought this would be a great place to think about how to commit suicide," Dazai began and I gave him another look. "But, I saw my bella looking so sad and lonely! I just had to rush to comfort her!"

Dazai hugged me again, squeezing me tight. I let out a struggling breath, writhing a bit in his hold. "You're killing me!"

"Oh! Let's commit do-"

"No, oh my God!"

I turned and stormed away from the suicidal man, shaking my head when I heard him call out for me. "Bella, wait!" He latched onto my arm, pressing his cheek against mine. "Tell me what's wrong. I am your trusted friend and coworker~"

"More like trusted pain in my ass," I mumbled before sighing, walking over to the boardwalk railing and staring out into the ocean. "It's Keiko. She was supposed to be with me today, but she just called and canceled..." I frowned deeply, eyebrows pinched in worry.

"What else did she say?" Dazai asked quietly, having gone serious once he saw the look in my face. "How did she seem?"

"Off..." I answered immediately before I looked over at my companion. "Or am I just imagining things? Yeah, I'm disappointed she flaked out but...." I hung my head. "I don't know..."

"Well, it could be nothing," Dazai suggested. "Or it could be something. There's no way for you to know."

I made a face at his vague ass answer before sighing again. "I can only trust her. She was the first friend I made when I moved to Japan, and I was excited to see her today. I've been having a rough time lately."

"Is something bothering you?" Dazai asked, and I shivered feeling his gaze on me.

"Eh... just depressed," I answered offhandedly. "Lonely. Normal sad girl shit, ya know."

That made Dazai snicker under his breath. "Yeah, I know. But luckily for you," Dazai started, arm draping around my shoulders and pulling me to him. "I'm here to save the day!"

I couldn't help it, I laughed before I wrapped my arm around his middle, letting him hold me against him. "You'll hang out with me today?"

Dazai grinned. "It would be my pleasure."

Time flew by so quickly, that I was surprised to look at my phone and see that it was damn near seven in the evening. Gaping, I looked up, seeing that the sky was slowly turning dark. "Holy crap, Dazai. Did we really spend the whole day out here?" I asked in shock, looking over at him. "What the hell did we do?!"

"What didn't we do," Dazai whined, slumping against me. "I'm tired... and you still wanna ride the stupid ferris wheel!"

"It's not stupid," I said with a pout. "Besides... we're already in line."

"Meh," Dazai grumbled, still keeping his body pressed against me as we waited in line. He was behind me, his chin pressed on my shoulder. I tried not to shiver as I felt his breath along my neck.

Soon enough, we were in our carriage and slowly riding up to the top. I took a few pictures as we did so, Dazai looking over in amazement.

"You think the drop from up here would kill me?"

"Yeah, and would scar everyone here."

"Oh yeah... can't have that."

I rolled my eyes, glancing over at him and pausing for a bit. Dazai was still looking out over Yokohama, an expression I've never seen before on his face. He almost looked... sad. Very handsome, his side profile absolutely perfect. But he still looked sad. I took a quick picture, smiling as I looked over it on my phone.

The carriage stopped and I couldn't help but grin as we just swayed softly up in the air. "Thanks for spending the day with me, Dazai. It would have sucked if I had spent it alone."

"Ahh, don't sweat it, bella. I couldn't possibly leave you out here alone," Dazai answered dramatically and I laughed and rolled my eyes. 

I felt a vibration in my pocket and I grabbed my phone, smiling at the cute selfie that Keiko sent to me.

'I'm so sorry for bailing! I'll make it up to you, I promise! ❤ mwuah'

"Is that Keiko?" Dazai asked and I nodded, sending her a quick reply.

"Yeah. She seems to be doing okay," I said, feeling a bit relieved.

"That's great!" Dazai exclaimed, getting up from his spot and carefully making his way to sit beside me, much to my horror.

"Dazai! We're not supposed to move around!"

"We're fine!" he waved me off dismissively. "Now you can stop worrying about Keiko and focus on what's important. Me."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "You?"

Dazai hummed. "Yes, me. And how I'm taking you home tonight."

My jaw drops, face heating up at his words. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Dazai answered, his voice dropping a bit as his gaze and entire mood changed. His gaze was darker now, his lips curled up in an almost dangerous smirk. "I think it's time we stop tiptoeing around each other and just take what we really want."

My mouth went dry and I quickly became flustered, turning my head away. Immediately, a hand is grabbing my face, Dazai digging his fingers into my cheeks as he forces me to look back at him.

"Nuh uh, you look at me when I'm speaking."

His authoritative tone makes me freeze, heart pounding in my chest as I stared at Dazai, completely bewildered. I knew there was something more about him than he had let on, and whatever it was, had me in fight or flight mode.

"Now, when we're done here, we're gonna leave and head back to my place, okay?" he asked me, but his tone made it seem like it wasn't a request, and it sure as hell didn't match the seemingly innocent smile on his face; not when it didn't reach his eyes.

I nodded, Dazai removing his hand from my face. His smile sent shivers down my spine.

"Good."

"Mmn... fuck, Dazai..." I moaned and gasped softly, the man on top of me littering my neck with angry red and purple marks, two of his fingers working inside my pussy. I was completely naked on his bed, Dazai only in his underwear-- and his bandages still wrapped around his arms and chest.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" Dazai whispered against my neck, curling his fingers and smirking when I cried out. "Call me Osamu. Don't make me tell you again."

I frantically nodded my head, crying out again as he sped up the pace of his fingers, his mouth moving down to my chest. "F-fuck, Osamu!"

"That's it," he whispered, taking one of my hardened nipples into his mouth. My fingers curled into his soft brown hair, head tilting back and eyes screwing shut as Dazai continued to pleasure my body.

It wasn't long until he pushed his hard cock into my wet pussy, the both of us groaning at the feeling of us finally connecting. I was on my knees and elbows, pillow placed under my hips. Dazai started out slowly, biting his lip as he watched his dick disappear inside of me.

"Fuck... I'm gonna burn this sight into my memory," Dazai groaned, making me whine as I shook my head.

"D-don't stare like that..."

Dazai chuckled softly, his hands grabbing my hips as he started to move faster, thrusting harder. I moaned and whined, it seemed to be the only thing I could do while Dazai fucked the shit outta me. "Osamu... please..."

My whining made the man above me grin widely, his thrusts becoming rougher, almost wild as he suddenly reached out and grabbed a handful off my hair. I yelped when he yanked me up, my back now pressed against his chest and his other hand wrapped around my throat.

"What is it, bella?" he hissed into my ear, pounding away at my pussy and making me cry out again. God, it was too much all at once. "What does my pretty little subordinate want?"

I whined. "I want to cum... please Osamu..."

He cackled, pushing me back on the bed, grabbing my hips so hard, I knew I was gonna bruise. "Cum then," he hissed down at me, pushing my face into the mattress. He fucked me relentlessly, fingers finding my clit and rubbing harsh circles. That made my vision go white, my scream muffled as I came hard, body going rigid as pleasure overtook my body.

"Shit, you're squeezing me so tight," Dazai grunted. He pulled out, ignoring my whines as he stepped off the bed. "Get on your back."

I barely rolled over halfway until there was a strong grip on my ankle, my body being pulled down the length of the bed. Dazai stood at the end, wasting no time in pushing my legs back by the back of my knees, and plunging his cock back into me.

I looked up at him through teary eyes, and I knew I should have been afraid of the mad look that was in his eyes, the way his lips were curled up in a snarl. But it just made my pussy clench around him in arousal, eyes rolling to the back of my head.

I came a second time as he did his first, and much to my ultimate pleasure, we weren't finished there. We pleasured each other through the night, until we wore each other out and fell asleep entangled in the sheets.

I woke up the next morning, groaning in pain as I felt my body ache. I forced myself to sit up, looking around blearily and humming softly when I found Dazai sitting on the edge of the bed, his bare back to me.

"Good morning," he sang to me and I giggled softly, carefully moving to kneel behind him. The blankets fell from around me and I pressed my bare chest against his back. "Hm, that's nice."

"Morning," I said softly, peeking over his shoulder. "What are you do-"

I stop, staring as Dazai wrapped seemingly clean bandages on his heavily scarred left arm. I swallowed thickly, my mind running at what could have possibly been the cause of those scars.

But deep down, I knew that the cause was Dazai himself.

"Do... Do you have enough?" I asked softly, not knowing what else to even say. I didn't want to pry or seem insensitive, just having to get over this metaphorical punch in the gut myself.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Dazai answered, turning to face me with a cheery smile on his face. In a matter of seconds, I was flat on my back, Dazai on top of me with his lips pressed against mine. It was easy for him to make me forget about what I saw, his kisses stealing my breath away.

"I have to go," he said softly, pushing himself off me after a moment.

I nodded solemnly, watching him continue to get dressed. "Alright. See you at work tomorrow?"

He smirked at me. "You know the answer to that."

I rolled my eyes again, just as my phone started to ring. I grabbed it, sending Dazai a quick smile before answering the call.

"Hey Keiko, guess who got fucking laid." That made Dazai snort while I grinned, though my grin fell as I didn't hear Keiko go off like I thought she would. "Keiko?" I shared a look with Dazai.

"Hey... I need you. Can I come over?"

[wolfish-trickster]

Liar

final part (I like number 7, let's end it at number 7)

Loki x female!reader

Word count: 2,9K

Warnings: angst, typos (not when drunk gods are talking, those are intentional), drunk god bros™, hangover

Tag list:@gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @belovedadam @mascaracoffee @serebrum @myworldgoesboomz @lokis-leah @nickkie1129 @getyoutmoon @forevernthensome

A/N: thank you so much for reading this unexpected mini series❤️

Loki swayed from one side to another. His question still hanging in the air. Thor was struggling to get back up on his feet. When it looked like he's making progress, he fell down on his knees again and had to start over.

"Has any of you ever seen them like that?" Steve whispered.

Everyone shook their heads. Your eyes remained glued to Loki. He never drank. Well, if he had to he drank fine wine or some other 'fancy' alcohol from Tony's stash, but he never drank to the point of being drunk. Only slightly tipsy.

You remember the first time you saw him drink. It was a long time ago. Tony made him. He said it will make him 'turn that frown upside down'. You saw him drain the whole bottle that day and it did nothing to him. Only tainted his pale cheeks with slight pink. You've seen him drink more than a bottle since then, but it was never enough to make him stumble through his words, or sway around like Jack Sparrow. How much did he had?

Anxiety gnawed on you again. 'He drank because of you. Because of what you told him. Your words pushed a literal god to drink his sadness away.'

"Weeeell?" Loki asked again. When Thor fell down with a thud on the floor again Loki rolled his eyes and was at least pretending to help him stand up. You swear you heard him whisper something along the lines of 'get up you outgrown lightning mouse, don't embarass me in front of her', but that could've been just your imagination.

"For god's sake, how much did you guys have?" Sam asked and Bucky stole Rex from his lap while he was distracted.

Thor while leaning on the back of the couch was counting his fingers. After a while he gave up. "A lot. We made our anescesterors proud," he bared his teeth in a proud grin.

"You mean ancestors, right?"

Thor's head turned to Nat. "Yes! We had a whoooole barrel. One for me," he hugged his brooding brother around shoulders (more like leaned on him with his entire weight) "and one for Kiki," the childish nickname earned Thor a massive shove to the side. "Do not call me dat!"

Bruce facepalmed. "Guys, what are we gonna do with them?"

Clint pulled out his phone, recording everything. "Enjoy while it lasts."

You smacked his phone away, a sudden need to protect your (hopefully still) friend's dignity roused inside of you. "You can't!" you said louder than you wanted.

Clint just shook his head. "You're no fun Y/N," and put his phone away.

You frowned at them. "I know. I know I'm no fun, and I am annoying sometimes, and weak and dumb compared to all of you. I know all of that! I don't care!"

Bucky stared up at you. "What has gotten into you doll?"

"I'll tell you what. I was a bitch, okay? I was overthinking everything ever since I had that argument with Loki. His words started something inside of my head. I started to think they were true, that when my best friend thought those things what must all of you think. And even when I knew they were lies those thoughts stayed up here," you pointed at your head, "and I hate myself for still keeping them there. And just when I thought I'll finally make up with Loki and everything will be good again I fuck up!" you wiped an escaped tear, took a breath and continued.

"It's my fault he's like this. He was drinking because of what I said. All of this is because of me," you hugged your arms to comfort yourself a little. Everyone stared at you, including the drunk brothers.

What you were letting out of your mouth probably didn't make sense as a whole. They were just your anxious thoughts getting free, they didn't care in which order. All of that stress, everything that has been rotting inside of your chest is out now. You feel a little better.

"Daaaarlin', 's not your fault," Loki interrupted your train of thoughts, reminding you that just because you talked your heart out, it didn't fix your mistake of hurting him.

"Yeah, and whose then?" you said calmly.

Loki stood up straighter while still swaying a little. "The univers! She won't let us be toge'er, thas why I haf to make up with 'er," his british accent got deeper.

You slowly walked towards him. "No Loki, this is my fault. And I'll fix it too," you took him by his arm and slowly lead him away. To his bedroom. However, he protested.

"Wait! We have to give 'er flowerz," he leaned down to Thor and yanked some of the flowers along with his golden hair from Thor's head. "Y'kno, to makup."

You shook your head and walked with him a little faster. "You don't have to. All you have to do is go to sleep now."

When the Avengers finally came to their senses Bruce shouted after you. "Hey what about Thor?"

"He's all yours," you shouted back from the elevators and pressed button leading to Loki's floor.

*

'He's heavier than he looks,' you think as you get closer to his bedroom door.

He's been leaning on you for support the whole silent (mildly uncomfortably silent) way to his bedroom. He groaned and mumbled something undecipherable here and there. You wished to be already in his room, put him in his bed and dissappear for few hours. You felt so awkward helping your friend who can barely stand after he drank because of you.

"Can you lean on the wall please?" you asked him when you both stood infront of his locked door. He unhooked his arm from around your shoulders and practically threw himself onto the nearest wall.

"Lean, not fall!"

He chuckled. "Sorrey, is the gravity," he mumbled.

You rolled your eyes and fished out a key from his bedroom door from your sweatpant pocket. When the thin metal slid into keayhole Loki threw his arms around you and gently squeezed you. "Are ya real?"

"Eeeh, yes? Why are you asking?"

"Because," he squished your cheeks together, "you're nice to me. And you're cute," he giggled.

You chuckled and removed his hands from your cheeks. "Thanks, but this isn't you. You need to sleep."

"Not me?" he asked, confusion all over his face. He ran his hand across his torso and settled on his face. "But this is my body and my face! It has to be me!"

"Yes, it is, but the acting isn't. Now come," you took his hand and gently lead him through his open door.

You pushed him to sit on his bed and wanted to walk out, but he won't let go of your hands. He studied them like a little child, turning them, looking at them from every angle. You blushed. He hasn't been this tender for a long time.

You cleared your throat. "You need to sleep. You're gonna have a massive hangover tomorrow."

His eyes left your hands resting in his and bore into yours. But they weren't as clear as usual, they were clouded and lost. "Why?"

"Eeeh, because you're drunk?"

"Why?"

"Because you drank?"

"Why?"

"Because-" no, you can't tell him. "It doesn't matter. Just sleep now," you tried to push him to his bed, but even in this state he was strong and unmovable.

"I don't wanna sleep. I need to find Univers!"

"Well, you can find your universe after you sober up."

"Noooo," he shook his head dramatically, his hair whiping around him. "I can't find my universe. YOU are MY universe," he held your hands close to his chest.

"But I need to find THE Universe! With the T'n'H'n'E infront of it," he started to ramble about Universe conspiring against him and you, but you didn't listen.

You stopped listening after he said 'you are my universe'. Did he mean it?

" 'Your' universe?" you asked and finally pushed him to lie down on his bed.

"Yea," he yawned, his eyelids became too heavy for him to keep open. "I know you hate me, but I.... I...," and he was gone. Off to the dreamland.

You stayed there for few more minutes in case he woke up and finished what he wanted to say, but no such thing happened. You could play on drumms next to him and he wouldn't move.

You softly brushed his hair from his face and covered him with his soft black blanket. "I don't hate you Loki. I never did. I just hope you'll be just as nice and calm when you sober up as you were right now," you caressed his cheek for the last time and walked to his door.

Before you closed, you looked back at him and softly whispered. "You are my universe too Loki."

*

Loki's head pulsed with pain. That's what woke him up, actually. Blindly, he felt around him with his hands, trying to find out where he was. Warm blanket, soft bed, his Asgardian armour still on. It was dirty from clay and smelled weird. Almost like.... alcohol?

'Oh,' he thought, 'that happened.'

He groaned and opened his eyes, only to instantly cover them with his palm. Light from the nearby window was stabbing his eyeballs causing him even bigger headache. All he wanted to do was get a big- no, giant cup of cold water and down it just as fast as he was doing with the alcohol yesterday.

But whenever he tried to use his magic only green and gold sparkles flew from his fingers and when he tried to stand up he got dizy and the whole room started to spin. He fell down onto his bed again. He felt as if his brother hit him with Mjolnir, his famous hammer.

If he wanted a cup of water, he will have to suffer through those few steps to his bathroom.

He reluctantly and slowly stood up and walking very close to wall he made his way for a drink. Or three, just in case.

After a long and unpleasant journey he fell onto his bed again, but not before he pulled blinds over the horribly bright window and rid himself of any dirty and uncomfortable clothes, leaving him only in his underwear.

With his head underneath his blanket, to block out any more light, he tried to remember as much of his actions from yesterday as he could.

From your room he went to gym to punch his frustration out. That's where Thor found him, interrogated him and then dragged him to Asgard to have a drink. Or a whole pub apparently. The rest is a blur. Something about garden, flowers and him and his brother crashing down to Midgard to look for someone. Who? He doesn't remember. Maybe you, since he remembered something about flowers. Maybe his drunk self thought it would be best to make up with you.

But that didn't make any sense, he had nothing to apologize for anymore. You were the one who told him those word. Where even were you anyways?

Just as he finished that thought he heard his doorknob move and his door creaked open.he slowly peaked out from underneath the blanket and in the dimness saw a familiar silhouette. You.

Carefully you put one foot infront of the other and walked straight towards him. You must think he's still asleep, that's why you're so careful. Oh, how he longed to pretend to be asleep and then jump at you and scare you. But he can't. He can't let his mischievious nature do that yet. Not when things between you two aren't like they used to be.

Instead he kept his eyes open and when you got close enough, he slightly moved. "Well look who showed up," he said.

You flinched a little. "Thank god you're finally awake. How are you feeling?"

"Horrible, to be honest," he rubbed his temples. "Why did you say 'finally awake'?"

You completely ignored his question. "Do you need anything? Water? Painkillers?"

"How about you give me an answer?"

You sighed. "You were out for two days Loki. I was starting to think you had alcohol poisoning and died in your sleep. I was checking up on you every few hours to make sure you're still with us," you confessed.

"Oh, alright. Thank you. And I don't need anything. I already obtained it," he pointed at his bedside table with three glasses of water.

"Still, your head must be torturing you. I'll bring you some painkillers," you ran outside before he could stop you.

You returned after few minutes with a small box of pills on one hand and a jar of water in the other. "So you don't have to stand up and go to the bathroom after you drink those three cups," you said and put the jar on his bedside table.

"Thank you. You are oddly kind to me," Loki pointed out.

You hummed and awkwardly stood infront of his bed, trying not to look at his naked torso. You fidgeted with the box for a while. "Just take one when you want," you said finally and put it next to the jar.

"Hey, can you tell me what happened yester- I mean two days ago? Was I and Thor a big disaster?" he asked, wanting you to stay with him.

"Well," you chuckled and scratched the back of your head. "It was a bit awkward and confusing. You and Thor appeared on the balcony and you were looking for universe for some reason."

Loki facepalmed. The pain from embarrassment was bigger than the pain his head was causing. "And let me guess, The Earth's Mightiest Heroes recorded everything, didn't they?"

You shook your head. "No, I didn't let them."

"Thank you," he smiled kindly.

You returned the smile. "Hey, can I sit here?" you pointed at the corner of his bed.

"Sure," he moved a little to give you more space. The bed dipped under your weight a little.

"I want to tell you few things," you said, your eyes watched how you fidgeted with your fingers.

"I'm listening."

"First I want to apologize for what I said. I was tetchy and I know it doesn't excuse what I said," you raised your eyes to his. "I just want you to know I didn't mean them. And I'm sorry. I would like to be your friend again. Please."

Loki bit his tongue from teasingly telling you 'no' and took a deep breath. "I would like to be your friend as well. I don't want us to argue anymore. So," he extended his arm towards you, "friends?"

You beamed at him. To him your smile shone brighter than the sun outside. You took his hand and shook it. "Friends."

"I'm glad," he squeezed your hand gently. He didn't want to let go yet. "And what about the rest of what you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh, right," you looked to the side. "You said something yesterday."

"Something offensive? If so, I apologize-"

"No! Not at all! It just..." you bit your lower lip and tilted your head, something you subconsciously did when you blushed. "Y-you said that... I am your universe," you said carefully.

Loki froze. Did he really say that? You didn't look like you were lying. Why did he tell you that? Why were you bringing that up? Did you possibly feel the same and want to be sure he wasn't kidding when he said it?

Loki must've took too long to respond, because you were trying to pull your hand from his and leave. This time Loki was fast to stop you. "I really said that?"

You gulped. "Yes, ehm did you mean it? Wait, you don't remember. Sorry," you chuckled awkwardly.

"If I said that while drunk, I meant it."

"Really?"

"Yes. I once heard 'alcohol reveals, who a person truly is', in that case I am a romantic," he winked and you giggled. He liked the fact you still giggle at his stupid jokes.

"For real now. You are my universe. My best friend. My partner in crime. And if you allow then I would like to add another title: my paramour. If you feel the same way, that is."

You smiled softly and intertwined your fingers with his. "You are my universe as well, Loki."

"Great," he lifted your joined hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand. "When I sober up and feel better I'm officially asking you out on a date."

"How long does it usually take for you to sober up?"

"A day or two," Loki shrugged and fell back onto his bed. His head started spinning again.

"That's too long," you said and layed next to him. "Can I watch over you while you sleep?"

"Sure thing love," he hugged you to him and kissed the crown of your head.

Bonus

"Darling, it's 2pm."

"Yes, so?"

"Aren't you supposed to take Rex out?"

"Bucky is training him."

"Oh, okay."

"You're so sweet to think of him."

"Hmmm."

*meanwhile*

Steve: hey, aren't you supposed to train him?

Bucky: *lying on the floor, Rex napping on his chest*

Bucky: uuuh, I gave him a break.

Steve: *raises one eyebrow*

Bucky: please don't tell her

Steve: only if I can join in

A/N: I was this close to write the angstiest ending, but I have a good mood today

[generallybarzy]

☆star☆

an: ahhh! my semester ends in 3 days so i should be doing missing assignments but instead i’m writing a fic about the isles won tonight!!!! Almosy 2k in 2hours I'm proud of myself!!! But mostly proud of the isles let’s go my babies i’m so proud!!!!!!!! Here's a fic about rewarding barzy with some soft sweet lovin after his game!!

tagging: @selenophileangel @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy @shawnsreputation @comphybiscuit @aboveaveragehockeyboys @canadianheaters @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @baby-cat-nol-pat

word count: 1.9k

warning: smut 

Mat missed this.

No matter how many times he stepped on the ice over the off season to stay in shape, or how many hockey games he played just for fun with his buddies in B.C., nothing could compare to the adrenaline of the real game. And certain games especially- such as playoff games and opening night. Opening night always set a precedent for the rest of the season; a good opening night was a great way to predict the season, and a great opening night… well, that was a great sign. Mat had missed this so much.

But, more than he missed the game, there was something he missed much, much more. Something almost better than the thrill of the game itself- coming home. Getting to come home after a win and seeing you. His girl. 

For a long time, Mat dreaded coming home alone after games. He’d stay out with his buddies as long as he could to revel in the excitement of the win and to feel the glory, maybe find some girls that would spend the night talking about how amazing he is, how much of a star he is, before he brought them to his apartment for the night and had them leaving before he even woke, early in the morning. But now, he didn’t have to do that anymore. No, he loved to come home. Because you were there. If you weren’t at the game with him, you were always there, waiting and ready to jump in his arms and congratulate him the second he stepped in the door.

The second the elevator opened on his floor of the building, he could see you standing in the doorway to his apartment, donned in his jersey and a pair of sweats, eyes locked on your phone. Your eyes shot up at the ding of the elevator that marked Mat’s arrival, and immediately, a smile brightened your face. Oh, how Mat loved the way he could always make you smile. 

“Baby!”

“Baby!” he mimicked with a smile as bright as yours, holding out his arms for you as you bounced over to him, giddy and excited.

“Baby!!!” With one last laugh, you tossed yourself onto him, and Mat caught you with ease, familiar with this post-game routine. His arms tightened around your back and tugged you close, and your legs wrapped around his waist. “You were amazing! My star!! My baby!!” His beautiful little giggles escaped his lips as you peppered kisses all over his cheeks, and soon he was setting you down. 

“Let’s get inside.” 

You grabbed his hand and nearly dashed inside, leaving Mat to chuckle and follow quickly, closing the door behind himself and dropping his backpack at the door before being pulled back down into you. Your arms came up to wrap around his shoulder, holding him tight and curling your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. You stayed like that for a moment, tangled up in each other in the entrance to his apartment, his hands on your waist and his nose in your hair, just enjoying each other’s presence, the comfort of your bodies touching in such a wholesome way, before you tugged his face down by his hair and lay your lips on him in congratulations.

“You’re so amazing, Maty. You did amazing tonight. It was crazy to watch.” You continued to pepper kisses across his face, his cheeks, the little cut he’d gotten during training, his cute chin, his nose, there wasn’t a part of him you didn't love. “You’re such a star baby, God. First it was your new contract and now tonight’s opener? God, I’m so proud of you. Couldn’t be more proud. I love you so much.”

He pulled back, a smile in his eyes when he saw the honesty in yours. His heart throbbed at the thought of making you proud. “I love you. Thank you for watching.”

“I always watch.” 

“Yeah? You’re my good luck charm.” 

“Yeah?” 

He gripped your waist tighter, sliding his big hands up the back of the jersey you were wearing, over his number, over his name- the name you wore so proudly. “Yeah.” 

“And you’re my star. My gleaming, beautiful star.” 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Now, let’s get you out of this suit, okay? Then I can really reward you for how amazing you are.” 

“Yes, please.” 

This was something else Mat missed about the season, the way your hands- so small and gentle compared to his own, compared to how he’d been playing all night- traveled across his body as you undressed him, stripped him down to his boxers and laid him out on the bed. He loved the way you kissed down his chest and thighs and told him to lay back and get comfy- you were loving him like he deserved. He loved it so much, the intimacy, the praise, the sweet talk. You had still done this for him over the off season, of course you had, but there was just something about getting back from a game and getting his reward that he had just missed so much. 

God, he’d missed his post-win blow.

He let his eyes slip shut and his head fall back against the pillow as you kissed his legs and tugged the last piece of fabric down this thighs. “I love your legs, Maty. So strong, they make you so fast, so good at what you do… and they’re hot as fuck.” You kissed all the way up his high and over his hip bones. “You’re hips, God, you can set a rhythm, if you know what I mean.” 

He laughed. “You can’t say ‘if you know what i mean’ if you’re literally about to blow me.” 

“Why not?” Mat just smiled again as you kissed up his stomach and chest, mumbling praises as you went. You curled your fingers through his and brought his hand up to your lips, and he opened his eyes slowly to watch you lay a kiss on each knuckle, gentle and soft. “I love your hands, the way you’re so skilled with them, during games you have all these amazing stick maneuvers, like that goal tonight. I know that was all for me. And you’re so skilled at touching me. It’s amazing.” 

“Mmm.” Mat was almost drowsy, the way you touched him and kissed him pulling him into a trance. “I’ll show you some of those skills later.” 

“The ones you use on the stick or on me?”

He laughed again. “Both.”

“After this, baby. I wanna reward you first. My star. My baby, my talented, sweet boy.” You planted one last kiss on his lips before scooting back down to his hips where his desire was aching for you. Your bottom lip tugged between your teeth like it did whenever you saw him, and Mat swore he could’ve come at just the sight. Your fingers rubbed slow circles against his naked hips as you pressed kisses up his length and finally- Mat thought- finally took him into your mouth. A soft moan fell from Mat’s lips, a breath of pleasure, a sigh of relief at the feeling of your lips around him- he would never get over it. You took your time, drawing out his pleasure as much as you could, but never holding anything back from him. This was his night, after all. He deserved this. 

The build up was slow, slow and soft and gentle as ever, starting low in his tummy and growing stronger and stronger by the second. It wasn’t the normal orgasm he’d have when he was on top, where he’d have to work for it, but one that built up and up and up that he got the pleasure of getting to lay back and experience it’s entirety- making it feel even more drawn out. Usually he’d be too busy to notice it until he was practically coming already, but now he could savor it, all the way from the little spark inside him to the rumbling fire that erupted. 

“Baby.” His hand came down to stroke your face.

“Maty,” You pulled back to praise him, laying wet kisses along his length. “I love you. You’re so amazing, so talented. You’re so talented, beautiful, sweet.”

“Baby!”  

“Let go, my sweet boy. Don’t hold back, you deserve it. You deserve it all, the awards, the contract, the 21 million, the star of the game, the attention. God, you deserve it all. And most of all, you deserve to come. Can you do that for me, pretty boy?” 

“Shit. I love you!” His mouth fell open in a string of praises, and his head dropped back again as your lips wrapped around him one last time before he erupted, thighs trembling and hands gripping yours like a life line. The groans that left his lips were some you’d never forget, how needy and desperate they were, how thankful he was to get his relief. He was breathing deeply in the aftermath of his orgasm, listening to your soft praise as you wiped your slick hand on his abdomen, vowing to drag him to the shower later to clean up. 

“C’mere, please.” He urged you to crawl up his body, pushing your hair behind your ear and pulling your down to cuddle against him, holding your body close and letting you feel him clam back to softness- both mentally and physically. He rolled to his side, keeping you tucked against his naked body and laying kisses across your face, just wanting to savor this moment for a few minutes longer. He was always so cuddling after coming, and you always found it so cute. Soon, his whisper broke the warm silence. “Did you mean what you said?”

“About?”

“Me. What I deserve.” 

“Baby.” You lifted a hand to stroke through his hair, knowing exactly what he needed. “You’re so good at what you do, I’m not kidding. And this new contract, it’s amazing for you. Tonight just showed everyone who doubted you just how great you are. How you’re worth it. And I swear, years from now, you’ll be playing with some new kids on the Islanders who grew up watching you, who grew up wanting to be like you. You’re building a legacy right now.” 

A flush lit up his face at the thought and a hopeful grin broke across his lips. With sleepy-half lidded eyes, he sighed. “I love you.” 

“Hm. Not more than I love you, star.”

“Oh no, much more.” 

“Impossible.” 

He just smiled and shook his head, knowing no one was winning this argument. Both of your loves were unmatched, and he was so, so lucky that was the case. 

“You know what else is great about you, Maty? How you’re still such an amazing person. You’re a hockey star, the isles’ golden boy, you have all this money and this fame in the hockey world, but you’re so humble still. You’re modest, you’re down-to-earth. You’re a guy anyone can talk to. I love that about you. It’s not just how talented you are, but it’s you as a person. You’re really going places, one day.” 

“Yeah?” His throat tightened and his words came out harsh and cracking at the thought of that. It was the future he’d always dreamed of. And to be told of it by the girl of his dreams seemed too good to be true. “You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope. And,” he cleared his throat, a little stuffy, but smiling nonetheless. “I want you there for all of them.” And you couldn’t think of any better outcome.

“I can’t wait.”

[nashibirne]

Painkiller - 2

Here is the second part of Painkiller. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

You can find the first part here: Nashi's Masterlist

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Ella) Summary: Boy meets girl...in this Chapter they get to know each other a little better Warnings: Mentioning of body issues (slim OFC), smut in upcoming chapters but not yet Unbeta'ed. English is not my first language, so there might be mistakes/bad grammar/wrong spelling Credits: I took the pictures for the moodboard from Pinterest, for Katie I chose a pic of the lovely Nicola Coughlan. The "back pic" is from Pinterest too. If I violate any kind of copyright, please let me know.

Tags @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @willkatfanfromasia @mis-lil-red @inlovewithhisblueeyes @agniavateira @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69

Here we go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ping!

Ella froze when she heard the tone of her WhatsApp notifications. It was almost noon and though she'd never admit it, she'd been waiting to hear from Henry since the moment she'd opened her eyes in the morning. Hoping it was him, she took her phone and read the message. 

Hello, Ella. This is Henry...the guy with the hard blow from the party last night.

Did he really think he had to remind her of who he was? That was damn cute.

I hope you're feeling better. I know I sound like a broken record but I can't say it often enough. I'm really, really sorry for hurting you. 

...

Hey Henry. Thanks for checking on me. I'm much better, no headache anymore. No harm done, so I can easily forgive you.

....

He answered immediately.

That's a big relief! Has your brother already examined the bruise? Are you sure it's not a concussion and nothing's broken?

....

Yes, Alex stopped by on his way to work. I'm fine, just have to take it slow for the rest of the weekend. That's it. It looks much worse than it actually is.

....

Meaning I gave you a huge shiner?

...

Yeah... It's quite impressive. Wanna see?

....

Absolutely! Videocall?

....

Sure!

Videocall! Ella didn't see that coming. She had planned to send him a selfie. Video Call...before she was able to get into a panic her phone rang and she touched the green button to take the call, her heart racing like crazy. Henry's ridiculously handsome face with the friendly blue eyes and this very pretty nose, appeared on the screen instantly. She smiled at him sheepishly, suddenly very aware of the fact that she looked like shit with her bruise, without any makeup and with uncombed hair.

"Gosh, Ella....that looks bad. I can't believe you didn't pass out after that hit." he said horrified and ashamed at the sight of her bruised eye. His beautiful deep voice sounded hollow through the speakers of her phone. "Yeah...I know. But I'm the youngest of four. I'm able to take a lot of knocks." She laughed. "I feel terrible about this." he said, sounding serious.  "Please don't, Henry. It was an accident and I'm fine. I can cross off 'having a black eye' from my bucket list now. So I guess I have to thank you for this." She winked into the camera.  Henry chuckled. "You're welcome. And to be honest...it suits you, the dark blue and violet match your beautiful green eyes perfectly and you're still incredibly pretty."  "Oh...thanks." His words took her by surprise and she knew she was blushing which made her feel self-conscious. Her short answer to his compliment was followed by a long pause and Henry wondered if he had been too straightforward or too awkward. He wished he was just half as good at flirting as everyone considered him to be. "What about your back?" Ella said hastily to keep the conversation going. "My back is fine." "Really? You can be honest with me." "Really. I swear. Only a light red trace. It hardly hurts, it's really nothing serious. I can send you a back pic later." Henry grinned. Ella almost choked on the tea she was just sipping. Back pic - dick pic. The association hit her hard and of course she blushed like a shy wallflower. Again. It had always been like this. Her pale skin turned red for the most trivial reasons. Even at school when the teachers called on her she used to blush. And there was nothing she could do about it. She hated it. Coughing she gave Henry a funny look and he cursed internally for obviously making her feel uncomfortable with his stupid remark. Back pic, really, dumbass?

"Umm...yeah...why not. But maybe you still should put some ointment for burns on it." "Well...this is going to be a problem. I'm not that flexible. I doubt I can reach that area of my back and Kal won't be able to help." Henry replied, smiling. "Kal?" Ella was irritated. Who's Kal? His boyfriend? Oh my god. Is he gay? Am I making a complete fool of myself? "My dog. He's a clever boy but he can't do that." Henry laughed. "Oh. I see..." Ella let out a relieved snort. "Maybe your girlfriend can help you." She knew her attempt to find out if he was single was both obvious and pathetic. "I don't have a girlfriend." He said calmly, looking directly into the camera. "If I had, I wouldn't be chatting with you, clumsily trying to flirt, making you feel uncomfortable." He added with a shy, apologetic smile. Flirt? Ella was speechless for a moment. She started fiddling with her fingers, nervous all of the sudden. Good heavens...Henry Cavill is trying to flirt with me. "That's good to know. And you're not making me uncomfortable. On the contrary." she said softly, smiling back at him. 

Henry didn't really know how to go on with the conversation but he didn't want their chat to end so soon either so he tried to change the subject. "That's an impressive pile of books there right behind you." "Yeah...when you take work home with you...you know how it is." Ella grinned,  turning around, giving the book on top a gentle tap. "Work? What do you do for a living?" "My sister and I run a little bookstore-cafe." "What's that? A bookstore and a cafe at the same time?" "Yeah, exactly. Like an ordinary bookstore but we also sell coffee, tea, cake, muffins and sandwiches and stuff." "Wow, that's cool. Downtown London?" "No. On the outskirts. In Uxbridge." "Is that where you live?" "Yes, I live in the flat above the store. What about you? Notting Hill? Belgravia?" "Kensington." Henry said laughing. "Of course." she joined in with a smirk. "Must be nice living there. Quite fancy I guess. Tell me all about it." And that's what he did. 

Their easy going and very funny chat was interrupted by a ring at Ella's door a few minutes later. Ella made a face, giving Henry an apologetic look.  "That must be Katie, my sister. I told her what happened and she promised to supply me with some food. I hope for pizza and ice cream but I bet it's broth and fruits." She rolled her eyes. Henry's rumbling laugh echoed through the speakers. "Well, I better say good bye then, before her sisterly revenge hits me."  A second and a third impatient ring.  "Yeah. We better say goodbye. It was really good to talk to you Henry. Thanks for checking on me. And thanks for trying to flirt with me." She gave him a sweet wink and managed to blush only a little, her cheeks turning light pink. "You're welcome, Ella. It was my pleasure." "Bye." she said and the screen of his phone turned black.

It was my pleasure? What's wrong with you, Cavill?  Henry asked himself after the end of the call. He let his head sink down on the table top of his desk. You're welcome?  That really sounded smug as fuck. Not smooth, not witty....just smug and arrogant. Like he was doing her a favour by flirting with her. Your compensation for a huge black eye? Henry Cavill being socially awkward, trying to flirt clumsily for 15 minutes straight. Jackpot. You're welcome!

"I'm an idiot, Buddy." He said, sighing, turning to Kal. "I didn't even manage to ask her out on a date."  

****

When Ella opened the door her sister swept into the room with all the vigour that was so typical for her. With her 31 years of age Katie was only 14 months older than Ella and she was the exact opposite to her. Where Ella was tall and lean, Katie was short and voluptuous. Well, Katie herself called it fat but Ella had always considered her sisters curvy bodily features pretty and enviable. She had the boobs and the butt Ella had prayed for throughout her puberty. She'd waited in vain for some curves to grow. She hardly needed an A cup and her hips were anything but round. "Don't be ungrateful." her sister said whenever Ella raised the topic. "You can eat as much as you want without gaining weight, you don't need a bra and you'll never have saggy boobs. And your ass is crisp like an apple. I would kill for a body like yours." It was hard to see it that way for Ella, when she had been called a twig and worse throughout her schooldays. "You have to eat, Darling, if you ever want to find a husband. You're thin as a rake." her late grandmother used to say with a deep sigh whenever she saw her granddaughter. The problem was, Ella did eat. A lot actually, but she never gained weight, though she really wanted to. Her ex Craig used to call her Twiggy and she'd hated it. 

"Why did it take you so long to open the door?" Katie asked, placing a big bag on the kitchen table, running a hand over her round belly. She was six months pregnant with her first child. She turned around with a worried look on her doll-like face, that was framed by wavy, blonde hair. Katie had the same big green eyes like her sister but her face was heart-shaped with a sweet little nose and plump lips. A stark contrast to Ella's oval features with the grecian nose and the wide mouth. "Are you really ok? Alex said you'll be fine but you look a little flushed." "No, no...I'm good. I was just on a video call with Henry when you ringed." "Henry Cavill, huh?" Katie wiggled her eyebrows. "Yes. Can you believe it?" Ella giggled, feeling like a schoolgirl. "Hardly. I mean, how did you -Isabella Marianne Jacobs- manage to get into a close combat with Superman. Literally." "I really don't know. I went to this party with Jax and I sit at the bar hoping to maybe catch a little glimpse of Geralt of Rivia and the next thing I know is I almost get knocked out and the guy who makes me see stars is Henry fucking Cavill in person."

Katie laughed out loud, shaking her head in disbelief. She started unpacking the bag, placing various boxes on the table. "I made you some broth and here are some apples and pears and some oat cookies." "Broth, Katie? Really? I'm not sick." "A nice, tasty vegetable broth is good for anything." "Yeah...sure." Ella made a face. "But I was hoping for some food for the nerves. Chocolate, crisps, ice cream and lasagna or pizza for example." "Why?" Katie grinned. "What's wrong with your nerves? Did your little chat with Henry shake you up?" "Very funny."  "Why did he call you in the first place?" "He wanted to make sure I survived his punch. He's really a decent and nice man." "And the simple question if you're okay, left you so flushed?" Once again she was an open book to her big sister.   "He flirted with me, Katie!" Ella blurted out, turning tomato red. "Oh my god. How? What did he say? Spill it."

Ella gave her sister a little summary of their conversation, including all the details. Katie was not only her sister, she was her best friend besides Jax and there was no need to leave something aside. "Awww...this is so romantic." "Romantic? I don't know...maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. He has a reputation to lose." Ella was sceptical. "Nonsense! If it was an act he would have been much smoother, don't you think? After all he's an actor. He knows how to pretend a flirt." "And you really think a man like him isn't a smooth flirt in real life?" "Well, he obviously is not. Even famous people can be shy or insecure, Ella." "Yeah, sure..." "Do you think he's really going to send you that....back pic?" Katie grinned. "I hope so." Ella answered sniggering. They kept talking about Henry for a full hour, giggling and laughing. Ella felt like a teenager again, drooling over her newest crush. 

After her sister had left, Ella was sitting on her couch, eating her broth, thinking about Henry. Was it really possible that he was interested in her? And maybe even more important, was she seriously interested in him? Sure, he was incredibly handsome and attractive with an interesting personality. Of course it was flattering that he flirted with her and of course it boosted her ego. But what if he'd really ask her out. Would she say yes? Was she ready?

She hadn't dated anyone since she and Craig had decided to split up and go separate ways a year ago and she wasn't sure if she was okay with getting emotionally involved with somebody again. 

A few months ago she had kind of a fling with Jackson's older brother Hunter. It was something she used to call friends with benefits, Hunter preferred the term fuck buddies, Jax called it booty calls. Whatever it was, it was strictly physical and it had come to an end when Hunter had to move to Berlin for a job. She was sad when he had to leave because the sex really had been great. He had shown her a side of physical love she'd never known before. Her sex life with Craig had been okay. Not more, not less. The usual stuff, mostly vanilla and it had been satisfying, she'd never asked for more. But Hunter was anything but Vanilla. He had awoken this naughty, dark side of Ella, taking her sexuality to the next level. 

The sound of an incoming WhatsApp message interrupted her thoughts. She took her phone and saw it was a text from Henry. Her heart skipped a beat when she started reading.

Hey Ella, here's the promised piece of evidence.

Ella gasped when she saw the picture of Henry's bare back that was taken in front of a mirror. This man was built like a greek god. But he was right, there was only a light burn along his spine. A light red trace that didn't look too bad.

Thanks. Looks good. That's a relief.

Just seconds after she'd sent her answer her mobile rang. Henry. Now her heart started racing.

"Hello?" "Hey, it's Henry again." "Yeah, I know. Hi." Ella was glad it wasn't a video call this time because -of course- she was blushing again just for the sound of his voice. "What's up?" "Well, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed our chat earlier. And I was thinking and wondering if you might want to talk to me again and if you maybe even want to see me again...all of me. Not only my back. And...yeah...what I'm trying to ask is if you would go out with me. On a date." "Um...yes...sure. That would be nice." Ella said without hesitation. Seemingly her brain had erased all doubts about dating someone from her mind successfully. "Really? Okay. Great! So what about dinner on Saturday? Gonna pick you up at seven?" "Saturday it is." Ella said. "Where do we go?" "What about Italian?" Henry suggested. "Oh yes. I love Italian food. There are a few good restaurants here in Uxbridge." Henry hesitated for a moment. "I'd rather take you to a place I know in Notting Hill. It's really nice and cosy." "Ok. Great. Do I have to dress up?" "Well it's not the Ritz. It's sophisticated but not too fancy. You're going to like it." "Good. I'm gonna text you my address."

~~~~~~~~~

tbc

[lovelytarou]

puppy love

— you only wanted to go out and take your dog for a walk, but you didn't expect to be falling in love as soon as you walked out the door...

pairing: todoroki shōto x reader

genre/tags: fluff, reader's dog being a matchmaker, cute todoroki

warnings: todoroki being ooc, not proofread :0

word count: 1.09k

a/n: my first bnha fic! i'm not too happy with how this turned out and i'm sorry if i'm projecting my love for shoto in this fic lmao

a disgruntled sigh left your lips as you tossed your phone aside. you died once again in the game you were playing. you even planned a strategy as to not die early in the game.

bored, you roamed your eyes around your barren apartment. everyone was surprisingly not crowding around the living room for once. your flatmates are either inside their respective rooms or went out to go buy some food.

mochi, your lovely pomeranian looked up to you noticing that you have nothing to do. she perked up at you and wagged her cute fluffy tail, whining sadly.

“what is it, mochi baby? do you wanna eat?” you cooed, reaching down and scratching the back of her ears gently. she didn't respond and leaned closer to your touch.

“do you wanna go for a w-” you didn't even get to finish your sentence and mochi immediately went to the door where her leash and your shoes are.

startled at how fast she got there, you chuckled and shook your head in disbelief.

“alright, alright. someone's excited to go out. let me change first then we'll go outside, okay?”

mochi's a handful and even though she can be a brat sometimes, you can't deny that she's like family now and everybody loved her. at different times of the day, you'll see her nuzzled to one of your flatmate's neck as they dozed off, or helping them with grocery shopping, hugging her when they're sad, and overall being the comfort they needed at these trying times.

donning on your mask, you grabbed your keys and put on your shoes.

“let's go, mochi!”

you both set off to walk to the nearest park in the neighborhood. it was peaceful and calming there. not that many people are out, the whole place bathed in warm orange glow of the setting sun.

there were only a few people lingering at the park, some couples, a few kids, and people who came with their pets like you.

“okay, mochi,” you mumbled, crouching down to her and ruffling her fluffly mane, “go wild!” and with that, you unlatched her leash and let her run around the park.

setting your bag down on the grassy ground, you grabbed your blanket from your backpack and laid it out on the ground.

sitting down, you decided to watch mochi run around from afar, interacting with other dogs and people alike. you took a few photos with your phone, laughing fondly at her blurred pictures and posting them online.

not a while later, she came back with a large stick the size of your arm and dropped it in front of you.

she wants you to throw it.

petting her head, you grabbed the stick and threw it as far as you can. mochi practically zoomed after the stick and almost toppled over the other dogs.

you did this for a couple of times before it's finally time to go back to your apartment.

attaching mochi's leash, you walked her forward but did not expect her to run off, dragging you along with her.

“ah! mochi, calm down! mochi stop running!” you scolded, but she didn't listen.

you caught a sight of a mop of white and red hair before you crashed with something really hard and fell down on the ground.

“hey, you okay?” you heard a soft voice call out.

blinking a few times, you looked around your surroundings. you're still in the park and you can still hear mochi barking with another dog. apart from that, you couldn't move your arms and legs and you felt a heavy mass on top of you.

“ow...what happened?” you asked, breathless.

“your dog kinda dragged you to me and my dog ran around chasing your dog and now here we are,” the voice said again.

wait, what?

craning your head as far as you can, you're met with the most beautiful face in front of you with white and red hair. your breath hitched upon seeing his different colored eyes, they look so pretty. he looks so pretty.

he's literally on top of you and you're both stuck in such compromising positions that you can't help but shut your eyes in embarrassment as your face and neck heated up. because of this, you failed to see the blush in his face as intense as yours.

“oh, i'm so sorry!” you groaned out. looking past his shoulder, you saw mochi happily playing with this guy's dog. you glared at her but internally thanked mochi for putting you in the presence of a gorgeous being.

“it's alright. well actually, not alright, we're stuck.” he responded, sighing disappointedly while looking down at your tied up bodies.

“yeah, sorry again. uhm, we should-” you tried to sit up, but you seemed to forget the body on top of yours so he ended up losing his balance and almost hitting his face on yours, almost kissing you in the process.

it's his turn to turn into shades of red as he sputtered out apologies.

“i-i'm sorry...i didn't mean to-!” he stammered out, eyes wide in surprise as he avoided your gaze.

“n-no it's fine...”

“we should move this way–”

“wait, no, ow!”

“sorry. you go this way, i go that way.” he ordered. and upon following his instructions, you're both out of the constricting hold of the dogs' leashes.

the two toned haired guy stood up first as you tried to stand up yourself. seeing your struggle, he offered his hand to you and pulled you up.

“thanks and sorry again about my dog,” you laughed nervously, rubbing the back of your head. you can't believe you humiliated yourself in front of a handsome guy. it's like one of your teenage fears.

“it's okay, don't worry about it,” he shook his head and offered you a small smile, “i'm shōto, by the way.” he offered you his hand again.

“y/n,” you replied, grasping his hand and noticing how soft they are the second time you touched them and they felt a little...cold?

“so, um, would you like to have dinner with us? as compensation for the trouble that mochi and i have caused you guys,” you asked, heart pounding loudly in your ears as you hoped he would accept.

shōto chuckled and smiled down at mochi, then looked back up at you.

he looks even prettier when he smiles.

“sure, i'd love that.”

you smiled back at him upon hearing his answer and you swear you felt your heart flutter in that moment.

who knew walking your dog would lead you to find the love of your life?

[cyberfairyblog]

Why Jillian Sucks

Hi, welcome to Odyssey Mystery Hour! I'm your host @gritsandbrits and today I'll be talking about a hot topic in the AIO fandom! Wanna know the tea? Keep on reading!

In the weeks I started getting back into the radio series, the newer episodes have started to irk me, mostly because of one of the more annoying additions: Jillian. Marshall. 😬😬😬

Even though I ship Jason with my self insert OC this not going to be about her. There's a lot of reasons why I do NOT like the idea of Jillian x Jason becoming a canon thing on the show. I hope to describe these feelings as best I can.

Who is Jillian you might ask?

Well to put it simply, Jillian is what happens when a Soccer Mom and a TikTok boyfriend mate and spawn an unholy baby and name them Rachel Berry. Out of the aspects of Nu!Odyssey I dislike, Jillian is the one thing I truly despise. Thankfully I've met fans who share the exact sentiment! 😁😒

Double-N Annoying, Double-O Nincompoop

Making her debut in 2018, Jillian is described as lively and upbeat, if a little high strung and immature; the perfect recipe for Kid Appeal! Before she moved to Odyssey she lived in different cities and worked nineteen jobs before becoming roommates with Connie and her sister Jules.

Now this is actually a fairly interesting set up: a new character struggling to find purpose only to discover it in a quaint small town. But as it turns out her going through that many jobs seems to be more than just struggling to find purpose.

When I first saw her design my thought immediately went to the smarmy classmates I went to school with.

We're introduced with this iconic line: "Hi!! I'm Jillian Marshall, double-L Jillian, double-L Marshall! It's so nice to meet you!"

With that one sentence I knew I was about to die.

The following episode has Jillian bumbling through every job interview much to Connie's duress after which she conveniently ending up working at Triple J Antiques...the same place Jason works!

A little backstory on Jason: he is the adult son of John Whittaker, one of the show's main character, and a bit of an Ensemble Darkhorse. He was introduced as a secret agent meant to bring action and intrigue into the show. He was set up as a charismatic and reckless sort of guy clashing with the calmer Jack Allen. After the Green Ring Conspiracy Saga, Jason officially retired from James Bonding and settled down to work at the Allen's antique shop.

Given his immense popularity there's understandable concern for how he is written and who he gets paired up with. So what does that have to do with Jillian.

Well, the idea of Jillian working at the same exact place as Odyssey's resident bachelor and calling him cute raises a few eyebrows.

"B-but Grits all she did was call him cute! You're reaching too far into this!"

Am I? Look I know this wouldn't be much of a big deal too but that is a subtle tactic the writers threw in to get the cogs turning for Jillison. Jason is clearly uninterested and even implied to dislike her. Jillian bemoans this but Connie reassures her that that's not the case. But hey at least she called him cute so OF COURSE she's going to end up being his love interest!

To me removing a character's core trait to justify a romance means you do NOT know how to actually write a compelling romance. It's trite, it's forced and painful to listen to.

It's also obvious she's a replacement for Bernard, given they have similar personalities and her brief stint on TV (which she also failed at lol). But whereas Bernard was actually endearing, Jillian seems more of a cliche womanchild with zero self awareness and tact. No actual depth, just a personality that is incredibly dumbed down and even insulting. Seriously they made her the dumb blond stereotype in an era where we should've moved on from that! 🤦

Did I mention she goes to church?

Yep she's gonna be one of those Christians.

Literally Loveless, Literally!

Oddly enough the narrative frames this as a rivals to lovers thing, where Jason is both the charismatic friendly guy and the super uninterested Straight Man. The constant twisting the turning makes him go OOC. See we know he's fit better as the former because that goes in line with his canon personality. But when they make him the latter he just comes off as unnecessarily mean. This is turns frames Jillian as someone we should pity: "Oh the attractive male doesn't like me because I went into his office without permission!!"

Wouldn't it make more sense for Jillian to be the one uninterested in a romance since her focus in to find a job/better purpose and romance might distract her? That would make a fun subplot...IF SHE WASN'T OBNOXIOUS!

A pattern I noticed and several fans pointed out: Jason's previous love interests were consistent in that they were strong minded women who challenged him in different ways. Their personalities bounced off creating a fun dynamic that was entertaining to see. Even though they didn't end up with him, you can still see and hear and feel their chemistry which is my goal for Jason x OC. Tasha doesn't make Jason OOC & they had a bittersweet arc, so their interactions were organic. Monica only made him OOC because she was a villain actively manipulating him. So again that worked in terms of story and led to Monica's redemption if my memory serves.

However, Jillian's dynamic is not that fun to listen to. You can feel her annoying Jason through the airwaves. She's strong but only in the sense of feeling something hard underneath your back laying on the bed and realizing that's just your earbud. She's vibrant yes but what else? She doesn't have any unique traits to contrast Jason, and any attempt at a contrast would mean making him act out of character. Adding her bumbling clumsiness and annoying voice, Jason would get tired of her very quickly. He's the type to go for people to have intelligent conversations with, not make him lose braincells. She could very well bring out the worse in him, it'll be an unhealthy relationship.

Here's a tidbit worth mentioning: the VA for Jillian actually auditioned with Jason's VA Townsend Coleman. Now that is big ass red flag right there! No hate towards the actress, just throwing that out there. There's also a facebook page dedicated to Jillison. Typical FB stupidity ramped up to eleven, or AIO fans who see something in Jillian; or at least THINk they see something worthwhile in her.

It doesn't help the writers keep insisting that these two go well together. The audience knows they do not work well as a pair but the narrative keeps insisting they are anyways. I recall an episode that had them pretend to be married while undercover and it was bad. Like REALLY humiliating to see Jason put in that position. He also told her to shut up much to my joy because she could NOT stop being irritating for five minutes. Alas the show still tries to justify Jillian being the Perfect Woman for Jason when she's anything but. And not even endearingly imperfect.

Follow Up

These tags I wrote on one of the AIO posts describes how I feel about Villain Marshall and the Jillison coupling as a whole. It just wouldn't work because Jason needs someone that can actually CHALLENGE him, have their own personality that can bounce off his (without being forced), and most importantly DOESN'T AGGRAVATE THE FANDOM!!

I have not met a single person anywhere that say they like Jillian. It's a different story apparently on the Club App - they like her for reasons I'm too cowardly to find out. But no, she sucks as a character. She makes a annoying friend, and is not a good addition to the show, much less a good love interest.

The only good thing she brought us are the nicknames we gave her 😌

That's all for now thank you for tuning into the Odyssey Mystery Hour. Next week I'll be talking a bit more about my OC Vanessa and her role in the world of Odyssey! Goodbye and make sure to lock your doors to prevent Jillian from coming in!!

[ambivalent-anarchy]

You've Got Moves

Masterlist

Part 2

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Summary- [Y/N] asks Peter to do some TikTok dances with her.

Bonus: Clueless Peter. FLUFFF. Also guy best friends are the best best friends to have lol

If you need a description for Asher, just think whatever your idea of a really hot guy is lol.

A/N- this is a repost because the first one was blocked from tags due to tiktok being weird about links😬

---------------------------------------

"Oh my gosh bitch, just ask him."

Your best friend Asher glared at you with pure impatience in his eyes. You'd been going on about this in every gym class for literal weeks.

"Oh my God, doesn't that guy over there have such a classic 'tiktok guy' face?"

"Ooh, look he's flexible! He's probably a really good dancer too."

"You think he'd do a tiktok with me? Nah, that's dumb."

"I bet he's a tiktoker and I just haven't found his page yet."

It drove him crazy. He didn't know whether you had a crush on this guy or if you really were just that obsessed with tiktok to the point where you were finding random people who looked good to do them with, but at this point he didn't care. He just really wanted to stop having conversations every day that ended with him staring at some guy and wondering if he could throw it back.

You watched the boy in question occasionally. You'd practically studied his physique, his face, his little ticks. Everything. But you didn't even know his name. All you knew was:

You definitely wanted to do a tiktok with him.

"Nah, Ash. He's probably gonna think I'm weird. I mean, who just goes up to someone and says 'yo you wanna do a tiktok with me?"

Asher facepalmed and groaned. "Literally anybody that wants to do a tiktok with someone else, [Y/N]." He rolled his eyes with a chuckle as he ruffled your hair with his hand. "C'mon, stop being a wimp and go ask the guy. Cuz if you don't, and I have to keep hearing you going on about his 'classic tiktok boy look', I'm seriously gonna jump off a cliff."

"Fuck you," you snickered with a smile.

Asher gave you a smirk. "You wish."

"Ewww," you groaned. Rolling your eyes, you looked back to the boy you'd been thinking about. He was sitting with his friend on the other side of the gym. You bit your lip anxiously. "Nah, I'm not gonna do it." You looked again. "Okay I'm gonna do it." He was just sitting there minding his own business. "Uh-uh. Nope. Not gonna do it."

"Oh my God..." Asher shook his head. "Fucking lost cause- HEY YO PETER!," he yelled to the other side of the gym, waving his hand wildly and signaling a 'come here' motion when the brown haired boy looked towards him.

Gasping, you turned around and slapped Asher's arm harshly.

"What was that for?!," he asked, rubbing the spot lightly.

"You knew his name?!," you hissed. "You knew his name this whole time and you never told me?!"

He simply smirked in return. "You never asked," he said, earning a middle finger from you.

"You suck," you scolded.

"You swallow," he shot back with a smirk.

Looking back, it made sense that Asher would know his name. After all, he was the social butterfly of social butterflies. You were sure that the only way you had caught a friend like him was because you were already his best friend before he hit puberty. While with others it causes acne and insecurity, it made Asher a literal supermodel (along with a bit of acne, I mean c'mon it's high school). And the fact that he was athletic, being on both the basketball team and the tennis team didn't hurt either. He hung with practically every clique in school, dragging you along wherever he went, though he preferred to hang with the popular crowd the most.

You both looked back to where Peter sat to see that he hadn't moved yet. He was halfway standing up but seemed to be caught up in a deep, frantic, borderline-panicking conversation with his friend.

Asher cocked his head to the side. "Aw, I think he's shy," he snickered. "You got yourself a little shy tiktoker." He shook his head slightly and as he continued to laugh. "Hang on, I'll go get him."

"Just don't say anything weird," you said, pushing him away to go fight your battle.

You drew in a long breath as you watched them converse and you waved when you saw Peter's eyes following Asher's point in your direction.

Knowing your best friend he was probably saying something super embarrassing that you'd have to explain away later, that is, if Peter walked over there in the first place.

"You know he really likes you, right?"

You swung around and looked to the bleacher seats on your right to see a curly haired girl with a book in her hands staring at you with the most unamused face you've ever seen in your life.

"Who?," you asked, extremely confused as to why this girl who never talked to you was talking to you. "Trust me, Asher and I have already been down that road. We're good where we are."

"Not him. Parker," she said tilting her head in Peter's direction. "He stares at you alot. It's pretty weird if you ask me. But then again, you stare at him alot too," she noted rather blatantly. "You guys could probably work. You're both dorks." She smirked, satisfied with her observations and went back to her book as if nothing happened.

"I don't like him," you mumbled back. "I don't even know him."

She didn't raise her eyes from her book as she sighed loudly. "Well then why're you so obsessed with doing a video with him because he has a 'classic tiktok boy look' when you've got Asher -who arguably has more of a 'classic tiktok boy' look than Parker- right next to you, who would probably be more than willing to do some lame dance with you being that he's your best friend?," she asked (more accused than asked).

"Oookay, whatever...," you mumbled, figuring you didn't need to explain yourself to someone you didn't know, turning back to where you could see Asher walking back to you, Peter and his friend close behind. When they finally reached you, Asher put a hand on both you and Peter's shoulders with a smug grin on his face.

"Okay. [Y/N], meet Peter. Peter, meet my dear friend [Y/N]."

You plastered a smile on your face and waved, to which Peter nervously smiled and waved back. He shared a quick look with his friend and then spoke up. "So, uh, can I help you or something?," he asked, snapping you from your thoughts.

"Hmm?," you hummed.

"It's just that, I-i don't.. really know why I'm over here.

"You threw your hand over to the left of you, expecting to hit Asher in the chest. "Ugh, Ash you didn't even te-" You turned your head when you felt nothing but air. "Ash?"

"Hey [Y/N]!"

You turned your head towards his voice and saw that Asher had moved to sit next to the girl who spoke to you before.

"We should really read this book Michelle's reading together. It's called 'The Slaughterhouse Five'!"

You rolled your eyes. Asher hardly even read books unless they were required. Dumb flirter.

You tilted your head toward this "Michelle" girl, whose head was stuck in a book as she actively ignored Asher sitting next to her. You chuckled, mouthing a quick 'good luck' to your friend before turning back to the timid boy who was watching you expectantly.

Shaking out the anxiety in your head, you finally spoke to him. "Uh, I have this thing that I'm trying to do and I know you don't know me and I don't know you and we've never really talked at all and this is kinda weird, but I kinda think that you'd be awesome for it," you rambled, continuing when Peter nodded. "So would you maybe wanna do it with me?"

"Well, what is it exactly?," he asked.

You shrugged. "Just some tiktoks," you said. "I mean, it's totally fine if you don't wanna-"

"Um, sure. But question, and this is probably gonna sound really lame but," he started. He blushed as he looked down at his feet. "What is a tiktok?"

You slapped your hand over your mouth, trying to hide a laugh. You looked to Peter's friend who was still standing there beside him. "I-is he serious?"

His friend laughed too, nodding his head. He patted Peter (whose face was now beet red) on the back and whispered into his ear. Peter's face lit up. "Oh! Gotcha. Thanks, Ned."

"So will you?," you asked.

He scratched his head. "Well sure, but full warning. I'm not much of a dancer."

Michelle looked up from her book once again. "Shut up, loser. You pick up combinations faster than anyone I know."

Your face brightened. "I knew it!" You grabbed his arm and pulled him to the closest wall. "Okay so we'll just start off easy, alright?" Peter nodded in response. "Ummm, let's do this one."

Peter watched it about three times and handed your phone back to you, to which you gave it to Ned so that he could record it.

"Uh, we go right first, right?," Peter asked, going over the entire dance in his mind as he stood beside you while you checked with Ned to see if the shot was good.

"Yeah," you said, smiling as you got a thumbs-up from Ned. "Alright let's do this."

Peter would be lying if he said he had any idea what he was doing. Technically, he knew the dance. It wasn't hard at all and only took him watching it two times to get the hang of it.

But what was he really doing??? First, some really cool guy with the best haircut and chiseled jaw he's even seen who he never thought would be talking to him ever just walks up to him and Ned and practically demands (in a really cool, nonchalant, and non-aggressive way) that he goes to the other side of the gym to the girl that he's been secretly (well not so secret by the way Peter crushes) crushing on without giving him a clear reason. Then he gets there to find out that this totally hot girl picked him out of everyone in the entire gym to do dances with and he actually manages to suck up his nervousness enough to agree??

In a word, wild.

"Okay, that was pretty good," you said as you watched the video. Peter didn't know why, but he could feel a 'but' coming.

You gave a small smile. "But-"

Ah. There it was.

"Look dude," you sighed before pointing at his face. "You are, like really cute. You gotta own that and put it to use, man!"

Peter's eyes went wide and immediately he looked to Ned, who was also freaking out behind you.

You called him cute.

He liked you and you just called him cute.

You were one of the most popular girls in school, he liked you, and you just called him cute.

You continued. "You gotta put some false confidence on it! Bite your lip or something. Get into the music, man."

Peter's face was the reddest it'd ever been and you were sure that he was probably never used to getting a compliment by the way he was acting.

"U-uh, um. Wowww, heh, uh thanks," he mumbled, not really sure how to respond. His voice was wavering and he looked anywhere but you. "So, uh, you want to r-run it again?"

But of course, like all good things, it came it an end.

The gym coach came out clapping his hands together, demanding everyone's attention. "Okay everybody time for drills!"

You sighed. "Guess I'll just have to go with the first one. Thanks anyway, Peter," you said with a smile. "You've got some moves."

Once you turned away, immediately your face fell.That sucked.

You walked back to where Asher was getting up from his where he sat with MJ, and to your surprise, they were actually having conversation.

He waved and tilted his head to Peter in question. You shrugged in response, giving a 'kinda' motion with your hand.

"Hey [Y/N]!"

You turned back around and saw Peter with a cute and bashful smile on his face. "What up?"

"I-i was....I was wondering if m-maybe you'd...like to, um, maybe do this again tomorrow?"

On the insides, you were totally freaking out. This was great. You thought you'd scared him away but he wanted to do it again. "Yeah, totally! We can go to my house after school and-"

"I can't right after school," he rushed. "How about 6?"

"Sure. That's fine. 6 it is. I, uh, I need your number so I can send you my address." You whipped out your phone and gave it to him so that he could put his number in. Before sending your address, you paused. "You're not some psycho killer, are you, Peter?"

He laughed. "Nah, you've got nothing to worry about from me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~that afternoon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

---

KingAsh👑😎: he there yet?

[Y/N]: nope

[Y/N]: said he's on his way tho

[Y/N]: hes lucky hes cute otherwise I'd be mad that hes so late

KingAsh👑😎: pls don't tell me u fell in love after one tiktok🙄

[Y/N]: of course I didn't jeez man

[Y/N]: but i mean im not blind👀

[Y/N]: also...

[Y/N]: whats up with u and that Michelle girl?? did you get her number?

KingAsh👑😎: ...

KingAsh👑😎: Fuck u

[Y/N]: u wish

KingAsh👑😎: well only if you think you can handle me😏

[Y/N]: omg just stop talking forever

---

Your head popped up from your phone when you heard the doorbell ring. You sent a quick text to Asher and ran downstairs to open the door for Peter.

"Uh, hey!," he said with a smile. "Sorry for being so late."

"Hey Peter," you greeted. You paused. "Um, mind if I call you Pete?"

He blushed, scratching his head. "Nah I don't mind. I get that alot," he said, stepping into your home.

"M'kay, I got some pizza in my room if we end up getting hungry and ahh, let's go up," you said, leading Peter to your room.

Peter looked around and noticed how quiet it was. "Where are your parents?," he asked.

"Well that's a million dollar question," you chuckled. "I live with my uncle."

"Oh," Peter hummed. "I live with my aunt." He announced, a bit too strangely happily.

"So, it's a Friday evening," you said, shifting topics. "We've got all the time in the world! So let's get it! I'll teach you everything..."

What you didn't know was that Peter spent almost all of his time on patrol scrolling through all the popular trends of tiktok and even finding your page and practically obsessing over it for hours. He'd studied and prepared and he was determined to impress you. And hopefully, if everything went according to his plan, you'd think he was more than cute by the end of the day.

---

Part 2 here

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: 🤢🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓🔥 Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 👌 honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: 😂 Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my 🕡 Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake 🐕 Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my 😳 at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: ���� Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Summertime on Netflix

This is what I’m gonna do... I’ll be doing more structured reviews later and most likely liveblogging suggested stuff and tagging with “Nesha Watches (Insert Title) for all liveblog posts. For this first review, I won’t be as structured, because I didn’t really plan on reviewing, so this is basically all of my comments to friends @chenoahchantel and @daintyurbanprincess that were made whilst I was watching this show suggested to me by @rbaifzau 

It didn’t take me long to be annoyed with the white boy in this show. It doesn’t take much anyways, but one episode in and I’m over him already. This dude saw her at a party, she got pushed into the pool accidentally, he gave her a dry shirt, and two minutes later tried to kiss her… TF..  

Girl, this bout to be IGNANT...

Chile... She was like, "What are you doing?" And he looked surprised. Like whet. And in episode 2 after having seen her thrice and spoken to her once, he telling his best friend, "I'm pretty sure I like her a lot." I HATE stuff like this. Why did I tell old girl I'd watch this and discuss it with her? 😭

But she like him, so like??? 😭

And her daddy, who we haven't seen yet is presumably a rolling stone. Only one negro in this town and the nigga gotta be probably running around on his wife? 🙄 I'm like, OH, so the one Black man in the show gotta be a rolling stone? And even though his wife is also highly irresponsible as a parent, she's sort of made out to be the victim of his dreams. They never portray Black mothers doing things on their own as victims. That woman was messing up left and right and it's all on her husband not being there, when that's only part of the problem.

Also, if she IS the only present parent and made the decision to do that, she should be doing it instead of leaning on Summer all of the time. 

And she got a close friend that have an obvious crush on her but she seems oblivious. I hate dis

This dude reminds me of Max Theriot. He always looked musty to me. 🤣🤣🤣 He look like him breaf stank. Him and Jack Griffo were working on something where they play soldiers and I absolutely said, "He still look like he stank" when I saw him on Instagram…

This is basically the same mold of dude and it looks moldy and should be tossed out. None for me, thanks.

But, there are moments in this show that's really cracking me up. 🤣🤣🤣 It's like, I feel like I should enjoy it for the messiness of it, but the main characters can be infuriating.

She called him an asshole and he said, "You don't even know me." No duh dipshit. She ain't know you when you tried to kiss her neither. NOR when you was talmbout you like her. 

This girl kissing her friend!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's gonna hurt this boy! My Gwad. He finna be discombobulated. 😭😭😭 He all happy today and she don't even see him like that. Lordt.

He walked up and she look uncomfortable AF. Her younger sister is like, "You're being weird." 🤣🤣🤣 Even SHE hip to something. He on the beach talmbout "It's hot today, don't you think?" And took his shirt off. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I like Summer's friends and feel bad for them because she really didn't treat them kindly. She used Edo whenever she was upset by Ale and then she just completely ditched Sofie on her birthday and didn't even text her or anything. Just had her waiting on her and didn't even apologize. Like, I love that she gets a chance to be human, but being an asshole to the people who you're supposed to be friends with is such an upsetting trope to me.

And the connection between her and Ale is so weird. He comes across as super predatory in the beginning and I don't understand why she liked him in the first place, but also whenever he does something by mistake, she is so angry at him, even though she's been just as inconsiderate when it comes to her friends.

NOW... HE HARASSING HER AT HER JOB. 

WOTTICE DIS HUNNY??? 

Talmbout if she got a boyfriend he'll "take care of him" 😖 After she told him to leave and he said he'd wait for her outside, she asked her coworker, "What do you do to let a guy know you like him back?"

NOW, she went outside and he's there, but her friend showed up to surprise her after work. 🤣 Whoever made this HATES me

He stole a book out her locker and left a card with his phone number. How is this the start of a romance???

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FRIEND IS TALKING ABOUT THE KISS...He said it was perfect........

Chile... And she don't even wanna tell their other best friend. Bruh. He said, "What we have doesn't need to be discussed." Summy PLEASE tell this young man...HE TRIED TO KISS HER AGAIN AND SHE SAID, "We just talked about last night's mistake" 😭😭😭

And she done hurt my friend this way, but she worried about Maxface because his mama can't reach him on the phone??? Girl.. go.. girl...

The gag is that she got mad at Ale because she saw him talking to his ex and she had to cover for him at work, but you've now ACTUALLY put your best friend in a bad space. And he ran into her mom and little sister and looked so uncomfortable but kept it short and sweet. These are people he loves. Idk. I feel bad for him and also like she kind of a hypocrite.

That was what REALLY bothered me. I don't expect her to be perfect, by all means. Black girls should be allowed their imperfections and their mistakes, but the fact that she knows what it's like to have the people you love be so absent and that she would treat her friends this way because of one guy who she's only known for a couple of months was disappointing for her character. She could have been written imperfectly without this glaring problem that I don't believe a real person in her position would actually have. 

I think in real life, the girl who raises her sister and basically has to lift her mother up all the time would overextend herself to her friends, but instead, she just leaves them in her dust as soon as she gets some dick. 😭

He is now hanging out with her little sister. 😭😭😭She goes to school with them but she looks tiny. I'm cringing at everything.

BRUH. Like... I can't tell if they're trying to or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because he's cool with the sister too, but they've been friends a while, so I didn't think much of it until Summer hurt him.I thought she liked him earlier, so idk if he is noticing her or I just EXPECT it. 

OAN, this man realized his son had a motorcycle accident on purpose and got mad instead of concerned

At one point, they say he's been riding bikes for 20 years, and whenever his father is mad that he had his accident on purpose (which I'll come back to) he says that he's never made a mistake like that, not even was he was 4, so Ale is AT LEAST 24 and she JUST turned 18. Which is WILD to me, even though at 18 I dated someone who was 23 (he was possessive and abusive, so I have a real suspicion of age gaps). 

But, aside from that - she gets mad at him any time she sees him with his ex when It is perfectly fine to speak with your ex and whenever she did see them together, it was always innocent and she didn't give him a chance to explain.

But then, when he does something questionable, like whenever he tried to kiss her the first day they met, or whenever he came to her job to ask her out and she told him to leave but he said he was going to wait outside (toxic AF and presumptuous) she is fine with those things.

Now, back to Ale's accident. I really felt so bad for him whenever we discover he did this on purpose, because his father is mad, when they should be concerned. His mother says, "You could have died" and he agrees...

How did they not notice that meant that this young man was so disappointed with his life as a biker that he was literally suicidal? They just grazed past it and whenever he vanished on them, there wasn't a huge call to find him,even though he'd just admitted to purposefully filling a possibly fatal mistake.

I'm prepared for nothing but disappointment. ALL these people outta there. Ale's best friend is in love with his ex. 😭 IT'S SUMMER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY. MYNIGGA She really stood her other best friend up to go get some dick on a little ass boat

The little sister shot her shot! 😭😭😭 He told her she's like his little sister and she burnt off mad denna muffugga

This child drunk, walking down the street in the middle of the night without her glasses...

OMG AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE GOT HIT BY A DAMN CAR

I was really upset by these things coming to light, and also whenever Blue gets hit by a car, because all of the reviews that I've seen on this site have been that it's a cute love story with likable characters, but nobody mentions the problematic content, the dark portions of the story that can be triggering - like suicide and alcohol incidents and literally seeing a young Black girl be hit and run by a car??? 

I wasn't prepared for that shit in a "cute love story." I think that this story is less cute and more dark than people have made it out to be, and that's one of my problems with it. It isn't marketed as a dramatic coming of age story. It's marketed as a romantic comedy, when it is more serious than that and has a lot of issues that should be considered.

The lesbian best friend is in love with her too??????????????????? I. Hate. This.

My favorite person in this whole thing is the lesbian in the background, Irene. And also Dario.

I was entertained a lot of the times. Just heavily confused because I couldn't figure out what the tone was supposed to be. 😁

In conclusion - it's maybe a dark comedy, not a cute comedy, IS a coming of age about a young Black girl who is kind of an asshole, but Black girls should be free to be assholes too. White dudes do it all the time and are valued characters. The dude is weird AF for chasing around this 17 year old girl and he's in his 20s. Idk if that's normal in Italy. It's nasty to me. Their beginning is young people foolishness and there's not much that we see their relationship built upon, but that happens, yanno. You young, tired and silly and some pushy dude makes his move whenever he see you. Slap some discount sex in a dinghy on it and you have this show. I don't recommend it, but a lot of folk loved it, so I guess it did what it meant to do.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Movie Night (ft. Cas's t-shirt)

THANK YOU for the ask, Dear Anon! I'm very flattered that you enjoyed the last one, and hope this meets your expectations! I WISH I could tag you in this, but you're on anon so.. Anyways, I went for Tuesday movie night idea, and clubbed it with a 'cute t-shirt prompt' I received and it got long AF but please leave a comment if you read and like!

*

"Ahh," Dean let out a perfect sound of exhaustion meeting the plush comfort of his couch. "It's finally Tuesday."

Sam snorted from the side, because his relationship with tuesdays had been kind of a love-hate. Not that Dean ever took him seriously - he doesn't blame his brother, really, because he wouldn't believe Dean either if he told him 'a piano crushed you to death' or any of those other ridiculous ways in which he'd died.

"If you like movie nights that much," Jack added, from the side - he was settled in one of the big chairs, looking more like a kid than he usually did. "Why don't we watch movies on other nights, too?"

Sam leaped to answer, ever ready to squeeze in a lesson for the nephilim. Good values needed to be a part of the upbringing. Children need to be taught by example. "There's an analogy we can use for this, Jack. Say, uh, Dean loves his birthday very much." Dean frowned at his brother. "Because of the pie, and the gifts, and all the beer." Dean shrugged. "So, he wishes on his birthday candles that everyday be his birthday!" Sam paused, and Dean wondered why he spoke as if he was talking to a kid, and not the strongest 2-year-old ever. "But, what happens then, is that he keeps growing a year older on each birthday - that is, everyday!"

Jack looked alarmed. "That's - bad."

"Yeah, because then I'd grow to be 60 in like a month and die." Dean added, in a deadpan.

"It won't take you thirty years to get to sixty." Sam reminded him.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean scowled and turned back to Jack. "Listen, kid, this isn't about all the good movies in the world getting finished too soon, if we watch 'em everyday. It's more about the attitude."

Jack nodded.

"Like, uh," Dean swallowed. "Like our dad always taught me and Sammy, hunters need to live a disciplined life. Can't just start watching a movie whenever, because that'll make your head feel like you're giving it permission to do crap, just like that, without a routine. That's never good for a hunter - even less so, he'd say, for the sons of an ex-Marine. Messes your head up, and takes away your ability to fixate on your decisions." Dean paused. "It's not like I've not watched movies on a Saturday because I wanted to, but the old man made sense - it's just, a routine is better to stick to."

"That sounds like a horrible amount of behavioral psychology to associate to an activity as trivial as watching a movie." Came a new voice, as Cas stood in the doorframe, his head just slightly tilted as his eyes looked straight at Dean.

Dean's exhale was caught in his lungs, and he blinked, staring at Cas with a chest full of air, and still feeling like he'd sink instead of buoyant. Cas was no longer in the trenchcoat and pants - he wore grey pyjamas which fit snug over his thighs, and a t-shirt which had to be new, because holy fucking shit.

He'd have noticed the angel walking around their bunker, wearing a black AC/DC shirt like that - simple, to someone else, perhaps - yet the way it fit over his biceps, widened his shoulders a bit more, and gave an elevated look to his chest because of the smooth descent to a toned abdomen - rendered Dean incapable of looking away. Complete with his hair sticking up at odd angles, hints of a stubble and inspecting eyes focussed on Dean, he looked like the stuff of Dean's (guilty, oh so guilty) dreams.

"H-hey, Cas." Dean cleared his throat, shifting on the larger couch to make space for him. He waved his hand dismissively to disregard all that he'd just said. "Forget about that, it was crap - come sit down." He suggested, breathlessly.

"Look who finally joined us," Sam addressed, in a normal voice and not even bothering to look up again - making Dean wonder why he didn't get all caught up in Cas's t-shirt, like Dean just had. He was unfairly attractive - but not just to Dean, right?

"I'm sorry," Cas replied, as he sat down next to Dean. Not a single part of them touched, since they were on opposite edges of a large couch Dean originally got for Sam and him - but there was still a tingling under Dean's skin, which had to be Cas's fault. "I couldn't find any socks." He turned to Dean, suddenly smiled, and tugged his pyjama up a little to show him the socks he wore. A pair of fucking novelty socks, they were - but Dean found himself grinning mindlessly, as Cas crossed his legs under him, and the visual was taken away from him.

"Of course, you couldn't." Sam inputted. "Dean hasn't been doing the laundry lately."

"Why am I the only one supposed to do it?" Dean threw back, and Sam didn't say anything to it.

"Nevermind." Cas declared. "I found socks, unwashed though they may be. Let us start." He referred to the movie.

Jack had fell silent for a moment, and he spoke up again. "Yeah! What are we watching today?"

At the same time that Sam opened his mouth - probably to drag Dean on how they better not watch something they'd just watched - Dean spoke up. "We're watching The Fellowship of The Ring, today."

"We just watched that on literally the third Tuesday of March -" Sam complained.

"Listen." Dean threw back. "Don't shove your crazy awesome memory with movies and dates, in my face - 'cause my brain forgot the movie already."

"Forgot? You probably can quote it line by line, Dean." Sam frowned. "But I guess you're not satisfied until you flawlessly recite it in your sleep, like Lost Boys."

Dean flashed his best shit-eating grin, and if that's what he was gonna do, he wasn't gonna agree with Sam. "Well, it's what we're watching, Sammy. Deal with it."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "What about Jack? Or Cas? Why don't you ask them if they want to watch Lord of the Rings again?"

"I do." Jack announced, brightly. "I like Frodo and Samwise Gamgee." Sam rolled his eyes. "But, I could also watch something else. I trust Sam's recommendations, after Harry Potter." He added, faithfully.

"Careful, buddy, Sammy's raising your son to be a nerd." Dean muttered to Cas, and he nodded, as if it was a line that needed to be answered with a nod.

Sam grinned like it was victory handed to him on a platter. "He said he could watch something else, Dean."

"What about Cas?" Dean turned to him, rotating in his seat. "Whadd'ya wanna watch, buddy?"

Cas pursed his lips, as if in deep thought. The deciding element. The one who'd tip the scales in the favor of one of the Winchesters.

"It's not Sophie's Choice," Sam grumbled sourly, as if he already knew what Cas would choose.

"Let him think!" Dean shushed his brother.

"I have reached a decision." Cas informed everyone, looking solemnly at the TV, instead of their faces. "We shall watch The Fellowship Of The Ring, tonight." He turned to Sam. "And if there's no hunts and we're at the bunker tomorrow too, Sam's choice shall prevail - that is, if Dean agrees to go against John's sayings and watch a movie on a Wednesday."

"That's fair." Jack grinned.

Dean beamed at Cas, with his little smile and his goddamn t-shirt, which was gonna drive Dean crazy in due time, he was sure. "See, Sam?" He ignored the comment on his father, because it was rare stilted humor, and in a perfect deadpan.

Sam muttered something under his breath which sounded a little bit like 'profound bond' for some reason, and rolled his eyes in defeated agreement, as Dean began to look for the movie.

"Whatever," Sam substituted, not looking up from his phone as the opening credits began to play. "The three of you can rewatch the entire LOTR series if you want, I'll just leave you to it." He shrugged.

"Hey!" Dean was annoyed. This was family movie night. Sam was supposed to be a part of it too. "Lord of the Rings is right up your alley, nerd. Why're you bitch-facing so hard tonight?"

"Well," Sam chewed on his lip. "It's very long, and I wanted to get to bed for an early night."

Dean narrowed his eyes, and hit pause on the remote just as the elves began to narrate. "Why?"

"No reason." Sam stalled. There was an almost familiar edge to his voice and -

Suddenly, it all made sense to Dean. The dots connected in his head, and Sam's reluctance to watch a three hours long movie was suddenly reasoned.

"Why, Sam?" Cas repeated, intrigued. "Are you alright? Do you not feel well?"

"He feels fine. I know," Dean cut in. "He's got a date." Sam's eyes widened before he vigorously shook his head in denial. "Some virtual crap, I bet, because you don't like to get laid, and an actual date may've involved that - but whatever is your idea of a fun time, hey, I'm not judging."

"It's not a date!" He declared.

"Then it's something like it." Dean shrugged, getting surer, with Sam's panicked expression. He knew his brother well enough to read through this cover. "Tell me Sammy, is this a video call with some chick you met online on those awful sites?"

"Dude, no." Sam balked. "I'm on no such awful site to meet chicks."

"Sure, you're not." Dean narrowed his eyes. "Then, who? Because clearly I'm right about the rest of it."

"It's," Sam looked like he didn't wanna continue, would like nothing better than to not finish the sentence. But with Cas joining in on the stare, he let out a subdued, "Uh, Rowena."

There was a stillness in the room. Dean and Cas slowly exchanged a look, and Sam flushed. "Who?"

"We know her, Dean!" Jack corrected, promptly.

"Not like Sam does," Dean shot at his brother, who looked flustered as crap, and it was all Dean had ever wanted from this conversation.

"Dean!" Sam looked grossed out, while it should've been them. He was the one dating a three hundred years old witch. "We're gonna discuss -"

"- if you're about to tell me you'll discuss a case, I swear to call you on your bullshit by calling Rowena right away." Dean challenged, definitely.

"I -" Sam pursed his lips. "I don't need to have this conversation with you, jerk."

"What about the rest of us?" Cas asked, and there was a smirk playing on his lips, which made him all the more attractive.

"None of you." Sam declared, standing up, looking offended. "You are literally infants! Don't breathe a word of this to anyone, Dean, or I'll - whatever, just watch your frigging movie, I'm out of here."

"If you're gonna do stuff, use headphones!" Dean waited until Sam was far enough to not hit Dean for it and yelled after him, as the latter marched out of the room, embarrassed. It was his duty as the older brother to make that happen, so no issues there. He turned back to Cas, grinning at him - and Jack, of course.

"The rest of us are here without the intention of leaving halfway to call a chick, right?" Dean asked, though it was a pretty stupid question for Jack - and if the answer were yes for Cas, he'd have a major-ass freak out right there.

"Right." Cas confirmed, for some reason; his voice rich and gravelly, and Dean's attention was once again taken by Cas's t-shirt - now that his kid brother was sufficiently out of the picture. True, Jack was still there, but that's a different issue. Dean had to hold a reputation in front of Sam, that he could control his senses in the presence of Cas, and that he could rein it in, and that he could do a lot of things which he was very far from, in reality.

"Me too." Jack announced, brightly, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Jack, you're two." Cas informed him, and Dean had to stifle a snort at the very notion. Nevertheless, he toned down the weird, made himself comfortable in the couch - maybe shifting a little towards the middle, and let out a small, content sigh, for the second time this evening.

He hit play.

*

“Why do we keep making the same mistake?” Dean groaned, his head falling back on the sofa. Once again, like every tuesday ever - they’d forgotten to get food before they sat to watch the movie. Now, around half an hour in, it was all Dean could think about. But getting up seemed like an awful chore.

Cas nodded his head in agreement, grave and earnest. “It’s because we don’t learn our lesson.”

“Dean, do you want to learn said lesson tonight, by not eating?” Jack asked.

“No.” Dean glared at him. “I may be around Mr. No-Food, and Little-to-no-food, but it isn’t wearing off on me.” They’d not paused the movie to have this discussion, so he kept his eyes on the screen as he spoke. “As a human, I have a few simple needs. Such as beer and something like popcorn to chew as I watch a classic with my - I mean, with you guys.”

“Okay." Cas shuffled in his seat, beginning to stand up. Dean frowned instantly, and pulled him down, gripping his wrist. Cas easily succumbed, and was back on the couch with a surprised little bounce - looking at Dean, confused. "What? I'll get you the beer and popcorn, so that you don't have to get up. I can obviously see you don't want to."

Aww, Dean's brain melted.

"Nope." He said, out loud, popping the 'p'. "You don't need to do that. I'll go."

"I volunteer, Dean. It's not about need," Cas protested. "And you enjoy this movie more than I do."

"Sure, but I've watched it a helluva lot more too." Dean raised his eyebrows, and Cas smiled a little, one of those smiles that he reserved for Dean, and made his insides flutter.

"We could just pause it." Jack suggested, not looking away from the TV yet, for the entirety of the conversation.

"No, you keep watching, there's no need," Dean excused, standing up himself, smiling in spite of himself. Cas looked at him, and not at the screen.

"Dean," And that wonderful voice of his swept over Dean's brain and made the puddle vaporize or some shit.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"I could keep telling you what's happening, while you're in the kitchen." Cas proposed, breaking into a wider smile, all crinkly and toothy.

"Aww, Cas," Dean couldn't stop himself in time, staring blindly at Cas's face and short-circuiting in his head. And instantly cleared his throat, and added in a more composed tone. "Okay, you do that. Thanks, I guess."

Dean wondered, as he walked into the kitchen and went looking for the bacon he'd made earlier, what was up with him tonight. He was usually able to hold his tongue in front of Cas - he was usually able to look away from him, even though it took some persuasion. But there was something today, that had taken away his brain-to-mouth-and-eyes filter.

Must be the new shirt.

Dean knocked, obnoxiously loud, at Sam's door before barging in with a plate of bacon and a beer. He saw Sam fast asleep, on his front, and did not know where to go with that, so he left the table at his bedside in case he was going to wake up and resume his midnight call or something.

Then he took the rest of the food and two beers and went back to the movie room.

All through his venture, Cas had kept yelling updates through the door. "Merry and Pippin just hugged Frodo!", "And now, Frodo just met Bilbo again!", "Arwen is speaking with Frodo now!" This had made Dean grin so hard, that he almost dropped the dishes. Damn, Cas was awesome.

As Dean handed him a beer, and put the plate of bacon between them on the couch, Cas whispered to him. "And Arwen just kissed Aragorn, son of Arathorn."

And Dean stared at Cas, his blue, blue eyes and his eyebrows pinched together in concentration, and his crinkled nose - and his goddamn voice, and his way of speaking, and how he just said the words 'Aragorn, son of Arathorn' like an entire fucking dork, and how adorable it was that he'd been doing a live-commentary for Dean, and just - he was almost overpowered by a desire to kiss the perfect little smile tugging at his lips, and palm the stubble-covered cheeks, and maybe, if Jack weren't here, pull that gorgeous fucking t-shirt over his head, because it was distracting.

Dean was instantly taken aback by his own stream of thoughts. He was clearly going crazy.

He could bet it was the fault of the shirt.

*

Okay, but at this moment, Dean needs the remote.

And it's not just because the remote is on the other side, next to Cas, and Dean's brain instantly launches into a scene in his head, when Dean asks for the remote and Cas is too comfortable (he's already holding onto a large cushion like it's a blanket) to move, and he tells Dean to take it himself - and then Dean will have to lean over Cas to get it, and there'll be a moment where he's almost on top of him, and they'll happen to look at each other, and Cas's eyes will flit down to Dean's lips as Dean adjusts himself to reach the remote, on Cas's lap, and maybe Cas says something like -

That's enough.

Dean doesn't need the remote so that something like that plays out in reality. He only needs the remote to lower the volume, because Jack is asleep and he'll wake up otherwise in the war scene and noise that'll follow.

But this way or that, he can see the said scene happening.

Maybe there's a part of him which wants it to happen exactly how it happened in his head.

Maybe it will.

So, with more energy than the sentence needed, he says, "Cas! I need the remote!"

And Cas turns his head to look at Dean, an incomprehensible expression.

But instead of saying a variation of, 'take it yourself' like he was really, really supposed to -

He picks up the remote with his left hand and hands it to Dean simply.

Dean stares at it for a moment, everything forgotten, especially the reason why he needed the remote in the first place. And then he kicks himself for being a goddamn teenage girl about this, and plays off the disappointment with a 'thank you' in the manliest voice he can conjure, and he's pretty sure it makes up for the kind-of-but-not-really pornography he'd been dreaming up. Sam's irritating voice nags in his head, you're confusing reality with porn again.

Of course, Dean is too lost thinking and staring at Cas sideways when he's sure Cas can't see him - to remember to lower the volume, and Jack wakes up with a jolt at the Uruk-Hai screeching at Gimli the dwarf.

*

Jack's going off to his room. The movie isn't finished yet, but he's been dosing off throughout and Dean can't tolerate the insult to the Classic, so he tells him to just go off to sleep. It's been a long day.

"Will you both watch it whole?" Jack asks groggily, before leaving and Dean looks enquiringly at Cas. He only has to turn his head a little, because Cas is much closer to him now. They've both gravitated towards the middle.

"Of course." Cas answers. "Unless Dean needs to sleep." Dean shakes his head confidently, and Jack nods.

"Okay, goodnight dads." He mutters, at least it sounds like it, and Dean would've lost it if Cas's slight weight leaning on his arm weren't grounding him to his current location instead of somewhere panicky in his head.

"Goodnight, Jack." Dean lets out, and he's aware it doesn't sound as constipated as he thought it would, and he's proud of it.

"Dean." Cas speaks up, a moment later. "I think we should turn off the lights."

"What?" Dean blinks, mildly.

"I know neither of us will want to get up later." Cas justifies. "So we might as well do it now."

"Can't you," Dean grumbles. "Can't you use your mojo to push the switch, or..?"

Cas sighs. Then blinks, and the entire room goes dark. Cas's eyes open, and they're gleaming like blue halos of light in the suddenly dark room - and Dean can still make out his face, in the light of it. It's all hard lines and small smiles, from the little he sees. "I need to remember I can do these things, don't I?" He mumbles.

"Yeah, our human incapabilities are wearing off on ya." Dean tells him and they start looking at the screen again.

"You're not incapable if you have to stand up to turn off the lights." Cas replies, and Dean just hums in response.

A little later, Cas speaks again, and he sounds happier almost. "Dean."

"Uh-huh?" Dean looks away from Gandalf on the screen, to look at the angel.

"Did you notice Jack kept falling asleep?"

Dean pauses. "Oh." He smiles too, it coming over him all of a sudden. "Yeah."

"That means," Cas's tone is bright, and Dean can hear his smile. "He's enough human to fall asleep in the middle of a movie, again."

"Human incapabilities strike again," Dean teases, and Cas chuckles audibly and it's a really, really good moment. Although yeah, it's a bit too domestic for Dean to be perfectly at calm - Cas and he are sitting in the dark, watching a movie they've watched so many times before, discussing the progress of the nephilim they've been raising (with Sam, of course) and Dean has his hand around Cas's seat - in what he now feels guilty on realizing is the oldest trick in every guy's playbook. They're both more in the middle of the couch than not, and the beers have been drained to the last drop. One of them doesn't sleep, the other won't - and then there's Cas's perfect t-shirt, which shall drive Dean to madness each time he sees it, and beyond.

*

Slowly, the arm which is on the couch, falls on Cas's shoulder - and it's a rather rapid course from there to it being slung around Cas, with Cas tucked under it and leaning into Dean so that it's comfortable.

It's not that Cas's head is on Dean's chest, or not even that his fingers are playing with the fabric of Cas's shirt - its just that they're so close to doing that, and somehow Dean can't pull back this time.

Like, he suddenly realizes, he's been doing forever.

It's again, a good thing that he pretty much knows LOTR scene by scene, and in spite of almost completely being distracted by everything Cas, he answers all trivial questions Cas mumbles at him in that deep, deep baritone - and there's a heat pooling in Dean's insides, and he can't quite place if its the spot behind his ribs, or further south.

Both sounds most appropriate.

*

Dean is not proud of this, but he fell asleep.

It's not that he didn't finish the movie, because he did - he remembers the last scene (or it could be from a previous watching that he recalls it) but it's just that he fell asleep right there. Next to Cas.

No, not even next to him. Pretty much wrapped around him. And somehow that's - not so wild, after all. It kinda feels awesome. Its not even morning yet, so he has more hours.

He wakes up with his hair tickling his breath and coughs mildly when he realizes that he'd buried his nose in Cas's hair - and his lips on his head, apparently. He straightens, but is sure to not make much movement - because Cas doesn't sleep like they do, he rather drifts off to a sorta-catatonic state but stays very much awake and alert. He doesn't want to wake Cas up, because the angel looks so comfortable, nestled on Dean's chest - that it somehow invokes a feeling of pride in him.

And love.

And that's that. The not-freaking-out segment of this story abruptly comes to an end, and Dean clenches his fist to stop himself from beginning to tremble.

He ends up with a fistful of that goddamn shirt which Dean blames for everything in that night, and Cas stirring awake, and straightening. The weight rested on Dean's abdomen is lost, and it feels weird and colder.

"It's seven minutes to four. Ante Meridiem." Cas announces, in a voice which is roughened by lack of use.

"You should go back to sleep." Dean begs, because Cas doesn't need to see Dean get anxious about the whole pile of feelings he's beginning to feel crushed under.

"Dean." Cas says, in that voice, and straightens some more. He's at Dean's height again, and their noses are inches apart, and Cas looks worried about him. "Dean?" He repeats, and he's concerned, and he's perfect, and his voice is something else, and the way he looks at him is something else like Dean is worthy of all his attention somehow - and the emotions are brimming and he doesn't know what to do with them until he -

He jerks himself ahead, and grabs Cas's shirt for good measures, pressing his lips against Cas's.

It's a moment of bravery, it's a moment of impulse, and it's a moment of utter stupidity because Cas doesn't react -

Until he does, and he kisses back, and he's excited and into it and Dean's taken aback by his vigor and in awe of his own hands which are grappling at Cas's t-shirt for friction as he moans into Cas's mouth.

"I blame the t-shirt," He whines, when they pull away, to look at each other better. And he does.

Of course, he's not an idiot (except for the many times that he is). But what he definitely isn't, is dense enough to not realize that this had been over ten years in the making.

These urges were familiar, and suppressed each time - the sudden feelings were overpowering, except he'd learn to deal with them tactfully, by crushing them with every means possible.

But what had changed today and he'd actually acted on it instead of swallowing it, had to be the tee. It fit like magic, and it perfectly showcased his lean, muscled chest - and gave a peak of his collarbones, and if he stretched, his obliques - and it was as black as his hair in the dark, and ah, it had to be the shirt.

Because otherwise, he didn't know what it could be, that had made tonight - today - this.

Cas still had his hand on Dean's bicep. "This one?" He looks down at himself. "I got it from your closet months ago."

"What -"

"And, you blame it?" He repeats.

"No," Dean shakes his head, anxiously, truthfully as he captures his lips in a kiss again. Slotting in place against each other, and as loving as they were passionate - he had had no idea that kissing Cas would be this amazing. "I love it. I'm gonna need you to keep wearing it. On Thanksgiving, I'm gonna be thankful for it."

Cas laughs against Dean's lips, and says something which is lost in the bliss of the moment.

Nevermind. He has all the moments after this, to listen to him. But he only has this one, at the end of a Tuesday movie night, to enjoy their first kiss (he's pretty sure all the short, little kisses just make up one major kiss). So he does.

*

Edit: Thank you for reading! Would like to tag @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @all-or-nothing-baby @styggtroll @notyoursweetbaboo @moderatelypanickedbisexual @but-for-the-gods-three-days and @emmii4 ! If you don't wanna be tagged, I'll remove you from the list, just ask! Have an awesome day!

[incarnateirony]

Queer meta writer DrSilverFish asks, "So is Dean’s bisexuality still subtext, after this episode?" and answers "Yes, given that out there in the fly-by-night froth of mainstream entertainment journalism, it remains (as far as I can see, in my admittedly brief trawl) unremarked upon in 15x07 episode reviews." Guess she's an idiot or a hater, huh? Couldn't be she's just being realistic about what is happening. And that 15x07 didn't make Dean bi in canon. Tough luck. Maybe next time!

You mean the blog I indirectly without naming to be tactful and not directly drag my fellow LGBT community members mentioned previously liking (and, frankly, probably formerly the blog I engaged most?) and boycotting for regressive language so as to not elevate that kind of voice? Like… you know, the reason I voluntarily even said I was going to stop posting meta that brought related traffic? That one? Might as well clear that one up now if we’re playing this game. Already on it. Already, apparently, far more alert to you about it lmao what are you like a day or two late.

Queer people can in fact use regressive language and be misguided. That’s what years of gaslighting does to people. But nice tokenism of slinging someone out there by employing their sexuality, there’s plenty more saying the opposite, that isn’t how that works. Stay woke though sweetie.

Stand for something. For. Fuck. Sake.

And standing doesn’t involve using LGBT people with your preferred opinion as a token to sling at others and throw them under the bus while you hide on anon when you can’t actually broach or address the actual related queer history discussions or any of the other angles about why it’s problematic. I may be avoiding supplying traffic to the blog right now while truly believing them misguided, but you have already jumped past several pales with this one, Nonnie. 

The exploitative self-demonstrating faux activism just JUMPED out. If you wanna slapfight over throwing tokens around, the 50~ new followers I just got in the topic would probably like to have a word, or… probably not, because people like you are why they’re hiding their commentary in reblog tags. Me, a niche blog, who can sometimes go days or weeks without a follow.

h o w do you not realize how self-contrarian you are

(and frankly if anybody’s been sitting on the fence wrestling their bullshit use this anon’s methods as an insight on some of the driving minds behind anywhere from anti-ism to what some people think is activism)

and I swear to god if the thought even flitted across your mind to go crawl those tags just to shake them down too, you’re either too far gone to even know what activism or representation look like or an anti playing cute manipulator.

So you know, if that stealthed through your brain, that’s a you thing.

Shit like the call I chose to make wasn’t easy. I hope to some day go back to corresponding with them when they aren’t cycling regressive dialogue unintentionally. I just refuse to give destructive dialogue, no matter how accidental, platform. Nobody wakes up and goes, “You know what I want to do? I want to stop visiting my favorite blog for an indefinite amount of time and stop posting my favorite topic that is like the one avenue I have to speak about something fundamentally important to my real life as well, that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to STOP EVERYTHING I enjoy.”

You do it because it’s the right fucking thing to do.

Try it some time.

Cuz this? This is an exhibit in what not to do. What even is this, some attempt to start some cancel culture bullshit between LGBT sections of fandom? Intentionally causing excess infighting where you think you sense weak spots? Do you even have a motivation beyond clutching bitterness and bad definitions? Like all the above problems with your actual action minded, if you’re not an anti stirring shit, what do you even gain by trying to pit highly connected bloggers actively against each other?

Yeah okay, total activist right here, gold star. Certainly has a great idea of how to interact in progressive discussion. What’s next, calling people snowflakes? Cuz right now your redefinition line designed to oppress queer people which, I am SORRY, no, *are* the majority *you* are going around and pissing in the blogs of while literally bullshitting and inflating your presence by claiming them to oNlY bE a fEW. As much as people think this word is overused, this is TEXT. BOOK. GASLIGHTING. And if you’re reliant on that as your entire method, you don’t even have a point or a place at this conversation table.

You know what I see only a few of you, actually. I’d estimate enough to roughly fill a group chat even. Maybe 2! In that way half of the people in chat 1 are also in chat 2. (listens to the sound of distant knee jerks inside of digital boxes). Niche nerd blogs about stats and near dead religions don’t just blow up overnight and get a bajillion new followers because the people you’re stalking and bagging down are the mInoRiTy. That isn’t how that works. That isn’t how any of this works.

I’m curious, in your time of probably bitter pissy blogging on your own corner, how many follows have you gained? Or lost? …How many notes do you have compared to the progressive facing end of this conversation? Because I am yet to find even a mildly popular post from your angle, or at least not one that stood on its own as much as – for example – what was in fact otherwise a pretty beautiful silverfish meta I almost reblogged myself, went so far as to open the reblog draft launcher thing and then, realizing the language, closed out. So yeah, posts like that get traction by this fandom’s content addiction, even I almost fucked up. And yes, circulating it is fucking up. 

So I guess we’re back to: outside of anons and like a dozen failed posts on tumblr that get less traction than a Lucifer/Ketch/Donatello fic, where are you, this giant assed majority of whoever that you’re voiceboxing from anon, which coincidentally is a basic bitch method of inflating the appearance of your own numbers, especially to people who don’t have statcounter installed?

Normalized queer text or even real people erasure isn’t somehow okay. It’s just normalized. In fact, that’s worse. Just like normalized tokenism of LGBT people, a long term issue frequently breaching on my blog – that very mindset that sent you here with this wild-assedly bass-ackwards angle – is not somehow okay, it’s just normalized. 

[shawnpetermuffins]

Disney Daze

A/n: This took forever to write just because of who I am as a person and I had like 0 motivation. But I'm back and ready to write. I really like this concept, so I hope the story does it justice.

Summary: They call it the happiest place on earth. Shawn and y/n think other wise.

Warnings: fluff and lots of it, slight mentions of smut.

***

Shawn looks down at you, his girlfriend, his hands tangled in yours. She's beautiful, he thinks to himself. You're standing next to him, sunglasses shielding your y/e/c eyes - they're his favorite place to get lost. You've been together for two years, and he'd been touring the majority of that time, so when he finally got some "time off" he took you with him to California.

Of course you had hoped it would be just the two of you on this little adventure, but would never admit that because he wants to see his friends too. And lucky for you, you're good with his team, so having them tag along wasn't all bad. Except for when Shawn got a little more handsy than he usually would and the guys would point it out by making more sexual jokes than you'd like. Neither of you are shy about the aspects of your relationship by any means; his friends and team use that against you though and love to make fun. They don't mean it maliciously, though and you both know that.

"You're undressing her with your eyes, Shawny boy," Teddy said, pulling the bill of his cap over his eyes. "I don't blame you though."

You laugh and fix his sunglasses while he pushes his hat back in place, "Oh Teddy, you're making me blush. I don't think your fiance will approve." You say just loud enough for Emily to hear. She was able to take a break from her busy filming schedule to join you guys.

"Oh, I approve. You're a cutie."

You shake your head, "Oh, you've got major competition now, bubs."

He hummed and pulled you closer. "They can look all they want. As long as I'm the one undressing you later tonight."

"Play your cards right and you just might get lucky," you said, wrapping your arms around his torso while you walked, making you both kind of slow down a little because the angle was all wrong, but neither of you wanted to let go. He hummed and kissed the top of your head.

"Where to first?" Josiah asked, but you two weren't paying much attention. You were so caught up in the proximity of each other that you couldn't focus on anything outside of your arms length - which just so happen to still be around each other. "Carsland it is!" He said after some discussion from the group. "Maybe we need partners. I'll be with y/n!" He exclaimed. That caught Shawn's attention.

"Over my dead body. She's my partner."

"Oh, so you can hear?" Andrew teased. "Good to know." He patted Shawn's shoulder. "Come on. We're going to Carsland."

"Wasn't Niall supposed to come with us?" You asked as you made your way deeper into the park. "Should we have waited for him at the entrance?"

Shawn shook his head, "He got tied up at the studio. Said he couldn't make it."

You got stopped only a handful of times on your way to the Cars, and that's probably the least amount he's ever been stopped in public with you. But neither of you minded the interruptions.

Shawn took you on nearly every ride - Radiator Springs Racers twice because he wanted to ride in both cars, took you into every store, begging to buy you something even though he'd already bought you more than you needed at the first store you went to. "They all have the same stuff," you shrugged, taking the change from his hand so you could do the penny press. "Really, bubs, I don't need anything else. I just want to make the pennies." You know he rolled his eyes from behind those glasses that covered his beautiful eyes far too well.

"There you guys are!" Teddy exclaimed when she finally found you in the corner of the shop. "Figures I'd find you making out in a corner."

"It's hard to make out when his hat literally hits my forehead every time he leans down to kiss me," I point out. Shawn chuckles and rests his hands on my waist.

"Why were you looking for us? We haven't been gone five minutes. We would have caught up." Shawn mumbled as we walked out into the blinding California sun.

"You've been gone twenty minutes. We started thinking you finally got mobbed." Finally, you giggled, as if it was an event that everyone knew would happen eventually. "Figured we would have to send out a rescue team here pretty soon."

"Well we're fine. No need to worry."

---

It was nearing three when you guys made your way over to the Disneyland side of the park.

"Look, babe!" You nodded to your right. "It's Belle!"

He hummed, "there's not a long line. You want to take a picture?"

"Only if you take one with me."

"Course I will. Josiah, will you take our picture?"

"That's what I do, man." He took Shawn's phone while we got in line.

"God, you're fucking beautiful," Shawn muttered to himself when he looked through all the photos you've taken together today. You and the team were all sitting in a shaded area, rehydrating after having walked for hours upon hours. You and him, however, didn't seem to be slowing down. He had managed to take you on another few rides, except for the really tall ones like splash mountain; you were on the verge of tears when he suggested it. So instead he took you to ride the tea cups - three times. He was currently rewatching the video he took of you spinning the cup around, giggling and just genuinely having a great time. He loved seeing you this way. Carefree and vibrant. It wasn't often that you let this side of you out and he knew that, making sure to bask in every moment where you didn't have a single care in the world.

Your chin rested on his shoulder, water bottle nearly empty in your hand. "Have I told you yet that I think you look very handsome today?" You pressed a soft kiss to the shell of his ear and heard him take in a breath.

"No. But thank you." His hand found your free one and he brought it to his lips for a quick kiss, and even though you wanted to keep your hands joined, his were starting to clam up and they were way too hot for you to hold them comfortably. "And have I told you yet that I'm so desperately in love with you?"

You thought it over, "Only like three times since we sat down," you teased.

"Haha, very funny." He booped the tip of your nose. "I'm still gonna tell you again. I love you. I mean it. I really, really do."

You hummed and leaned in to press a quick kiss to his cheek "I love you, too, rockstar." His hand rested on the back of yout head and he smoothly brought you to his lips, kissing you nice and slow, a soft gasp eliciting your mouth when his teeth sunk in your bottom lip.

"Hey!" Andrew threw an empty water bottle at the two of you, "We're in public! Keep it in your pants, maybe?" He said as you separated from your boyfriend, your face feeling hot.

Shawn shook his head, laughing, placing his tattooed hand on your thigh. "They're never allowed to come anywhere with us ever again."

"Definitely not," you agreed.

---

The walk back to the car consisted of Shawn running around aimlessly with you on his back and you laughing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"Why were we never that cute?" You heard Teddy ask Emily when Shawn set you down and just as quickly picked you back up bridal style and once again started running around like a maniac.

"It's ten o'clock! Calm down, eh?" Andrew suggested.

Shawn ignored him and placed a chaste kiss on your neck. "Come on, Andrew. You never been in love before?" He asked, finally putting you back on the ground, but keeping hold of your hand and spinning you around once, pulling you back to his chest so that you were walking - stumbling, would be a more accurate description - synchronously.

Once back to the hotel, you all went separate ways. Andrew and Josiah went up to bed, Teddy and Emily went to the bar, and you and Shawn went to the pool after changing into your bathing suits. "Hey," he whispered into your hair while you walked casually against the edge of the pool.

Your eyes fluttered open to look at your beautiful boy. "Hmm?" Your hands found purchase in his curls.

He reached out and grabbed the back of youd thighs, and you wrapped them around his waist. "Thank you for today." He pressed a soft kiss to your temple and slowly started trailing them down to the base of your throat.

"I had fun," you managed to breathe out before his teeth grazed your collar bone. "Oh," you moaned softly.

"You looked beautiful today. Couldn't take my eyes off you." His kisses trailed even lower and his hands slipped under the strings of you top.

"Really?" You giggled. "I hadn't noticed."

"I want you," he murmured into your chest, slickly untying your top.

You squealed and hit his arm, "Babe! We're in public!"

He looked around at the completely empty poolside, "Oh yeah, people are definitely gonna say something." His hands cupped your breasts and your eyes closed at the contact.

"Shawn, please," you said into his neck.

"You wanna go to the room?" He asked, his left hand inching it's way to your bikini bottoms.

You gulped and nodded when his fingers met your unexposed skin. "Now, please."

---

Breathing heavily, he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips as climbed off him. "Thank you, baby. So good to me."

You could only hum in response. Catching your breath, you found his hand and played with his fingers for a little bit before you felt yourself growing more and more sleepy. "I love you," you muttered, rolling onto your side.

"I love you," he said back, curling his arm around your waist. Laying beneath the sheets, with his arm wrapped around your naked body, you knew there was no place on earth you'd rather be.

***

A/n: this took so long, I'm sorry. My next fic will be up Wednesday or Thursday though, I promise.