#literally everywhere she goes she’s got people crushing on her

[cloudshapedpatch]

i really want to tell my best friend i’m in love with her but she’s very vocal about how frustrated it makes her when all her friends inevitably confess their love for her

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

go for it! ; yuuta okkotsu

synopsis; yuuta’s been crushing on you ever since the first group project you had together, but he’s too nervous to confess. luckily, he has some over-eager friends willing to help! step 1: ask for your number!

word count; 7.4k

contents; yuuta okkotsu/reader, gn!reader, university au, yuuta majors in creative writing and writes poetry in his spare time <3, no curses au, yuuta is a cutiepie, he’s also a loserboy, pining and longing, one-sided love, maki inumaki and panda are wingmen (but not very good ones), fluffy vibes, gojo makes a guest appearance (stay safe), literally just yuuta being whipped for like 7k words straight

a/n; im gonna have to edit this a lot i think….. but for now it should be fine :3 i love the boy!!

”you’re staring. again.”

yuuta flinches. a jolt overtakes him, running through his body, and the pen he’d been absently writing with slips from his fingers. it tumbles down to the ground with a soft thunk. 

gazing up at the shadow towering over him, his eyes are wide, a little flustered; like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. like he’s expecting a smack on the head from the person in front of him.

— it’s maki. 

and she looks displeased, lips pursed and a single eyebrow raised. unimpressed, as she stares him down — the same way he’d been looking at you just a second ago.

”they’re gonna think you’re a creep if they catch you, you know,” she sighs, shifting from one foot to another. carrying her bass in a case on her back.

”maki, c’mon,” comes from behind her, an even larger figure strolling up to the pair. grinning brightly, fluffy hair tousled by the afternoon breeze. ”cut him some slack!” 

”salmon,” a third voice joins in. inumaki’s got some green paint staining the sleeve of his hoodie, and his fingers are dirtied with charcoal.

his closest friends, all joining him on the table they usually frequent on campus. right next to a giant tree, casting a pleasantly cool shade and obscuring the irritating brightness of the sun.

maki, headstrong and resilient. infamously rude. a music major, primarily, though yuuta knows she has more than a couple minors. if you pay attention, you can see her almost everywhere on campus, and she always does well on exams. confident, enough so that just being around her makes yuuta feel a little more secure in himself.

panda, a big kid with a big heart, always wearing monochrome clothes. ‘panda’ can’t possibly be his real name, though yuuta’s never found the courage to ask. truthfully, he isn’t sure panda even has a major, or goes to this university at all — but nobody’s mentioned it yet, and he doubts they ever will.

and then inumaki, the quiet kid, always helpful and kind. a little teasing, too. selectively mute, speaking exclusively in rice ball ingredients, but yuuta has already begun adjusting to the thought behind his phrases. an art student with remarkable talent, from sculptures to comics to paintings. he mostly spends his lectures playing games on his phone, though. and he's the kindest guy yuuta knows.

his beloved friends. the reason he can smile through each day, even when it’s a little difficult.

and maki’s right, he knows she is. if you were to lock eyes with him, and realize he’d been glancing over at you for the past ten minutes… god, he doesn’t even want to think about it. you’d be weirded out for sure, wouldn’t you?

but yuuta just can’t help it. you’re far too radiant to ever look away from, smile much too pretty.

you’re just sitting there, laughing and talking with your friends, the same as any other day. comparing hand sizes with miwa, or leaning over to whisper in mai’s ear. snorting over something momo said, or trying to understand the code kokochi’s fiddling with on his laptop. just being yourself, with people you’re close to.

and yuuta desperately wishes he could be among them. wishes he could see your honeyed smile up close, hear the melodic lilt of your laughter, breathe in the lingering scent of your shampoo. he wishes he could speak to you without stuttering, without tripping over his feet — hang out with you outside of class. just something small, like studying together, or grabbing a bite to eat.

he wishes he could get to know you. 

yuuta thinks he must seem like a fool, to be so affected by your mere presence. everything comes to him so easily, when he looks at you; the pitter patter of his heart, his sweaty hands, the whirlwind of butterflies swirling in his chest. even just the way you twirl your hair or chew on your pencil is so mesmerizing. 

so all he can do is stare, hopeless, a moth to a flame. basking in the warmth of your gaze, directed at your friends.

hoping one day, maybe… that warmth will fall upon him, as well.

(maybe one day.)

”hellooo? earth to yuuta!”

”see? he’s hopeless.”

”mentaiko…”

”inumaki’s right. he’s a man in love!”

”he’s a boy with a stupid crush,” maki scoffs, picking at a piece of lint on her tank top. ”and we have a study session we need to get done. the exam’s next week, remember?”

exam.

yuuta shoots up, wasting no time in grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. the ring hanging around his neck dangles with the sudden movement, and he clutches onto it.

”ah — right!” he squeaks, apologetic. ”sorry, it completely slipped my mind —”

before his mind can begin to overthink every action he’s taken these past few hours, a hand reaches out to pat his shoulder. pat, pat. reassuring and stabilizing.

inumaki smiles at him. yuuta can’t see his mouth, from behind the fabric of his hoodie, but his eyes crinkle softly; and it’s enough to put yuuta’s heart at ease.

”don’t apologize,” maki says. simple, straightforward. ”let’s just get going. i need to do better than naoya did last time.”

”you’re still mad about that, huh?”

”he only got a higher score because i wasn’t on top of my game,” she grumbles, digging her nails into the pockets of her baseball jacket. ”he doesn’t even like music. he’s just taking the course to piss me off. grown ass man.”

a chuckle slips from yuuta’s lips. the warm breeze ruffles his hair, and he holds onto the strap of his backpack, following closely behind as his friends begin to leave. sending one final glance at your figure, over by a table near the apricot trees.

and that’s when it happens.

— he looks over at you, and finds that your eyes are already on him. 

a moment passes.

while yuuta struggles to find his breathing, your lips curl up into a soft smile. then you raise your hand, waving to him cheerily, teeth peeking out from between your lips. he can see it clearly, even with the distance between you. 

a smile that glimmers like a jewel, in the light of the sun. 

yuuta feels his lips part, mouth falling open ever so slightly. but he waves back, afraid to take too long, unable to stop the pounding of his heartbeat — smiling giddily, like a schoolgirl tripping over her feet. 

his friends just watch, wholly unimpressed.

”do you think he’d notice if i threw a rock at him?”

”maki!”

”what do you like about them, anyway?”

the question is unexpected. yuuta has to do a double take, eyes straying from his excerpt of sappho 31 up to the person seated across from him. tapping her pencil on the edge of the table, resting her sharp jaw on the heel of her palm. 

”huh?”

”them. your crush,” maki reiterates. ”what caught your attention? there’s got to be something, yeah?”

”oh?” panda chirps, leaning back in his chair. a teasing grin playing at his lips. “i thought you didn’t care about his silly little crush.”

”i don’t.” a huff pushes past her lips, hands reaching to fix her lazy ponytail, hair tie dangling from between her teeth. ”i’m just bored. i already know all this, anyway.”

”tuna mayo.”

”oh, are you curious too, inumaki?”

”well, out with it. why them?”

yuuta blinks. once, then twice — mind spinning in circles, as his friends await his answer.

and, truthfully, yuuta can’t pinpoint the exact moment he felt it. that burst of joy, that tinge of excitement — the puppy love that rika always spoke of. she was always good at verbalizing her emotions, in a way yuuta never could.

(he always knew he loved her, but he could never put it into words.)

and he knows that he likes you. he knows because every word you speak has him stumbling over what to say, because even a single smile sent his way makes the world feel so gentle. he knows because he’d probably throw himself into incoming traffic, if you just asked him to.

but he can’t put it into words. not spoken ones, anyhow — putting them on paper is one thing, the one thing he can do. writing out his love for you in similes and metaphors, sonettes and alexandrines. it’s how he copes with everything; writing and writing, til his fingers start to hurt. he can compare you to a dandelion, to the way cicadas buzz in the light of the sun. the scent of childhood. but it’s harder to speak it out loud, to turn the feelings into sounds — that’s maki’s specialty, not his.

why does yuuta like you?

he remembers it clear as day, but still can’t pinpoint the exact second he fell headfirst into love. it was more of a creeping realization, something soft and sweet trickling through his veins. that sinking feeling, how helplessly he fell for you.

it all started with a pencil.

in hindsight, it’s a little silly. but yuuta can’t bring himself to think back to that moment with anything other than fondness.

(your smile was just so bright.)

that day had been a disaster. he was nervous, painfully so, afraid of every single new thing he came across during his first week of uni. scatterbrained, running on almost no sleep, unsure of where to put his feet as he walked.

honestly — what kind of trainwreck forgets their pen and notebook during their very first workshop?

all that anxiety, all those hours spent overthinking, and he still couldn’t manage something so small. in the moment, he almost panicked; sitting with you, a total stranger, wholly unprepared for such a simple assignment. read a couple excerpts, analyze them on paper. all yuuta could do was stare blankly at his lap, frozen, throat dry. hands cold with sweat.

but then you smiled.

”did you forget your notebook?” you had asked, voice set to a soothing tilt. calm, not angry or impatient.

”ah — yeah, i, um…” yuuta could only swallow thickly, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. ”i’m sorry. i haven't been sleeping well, so —”

”hey, hey, it’s fine!” you chuckled, teeth peeking out from between your lips. ”i totally get it. i almost forgot my laptop at yesterday’s lecture. we can just share!”

then you pushed your notebook closer to him, inviting him in. moving your chair a little, angling it towards him. but all yuuta could think of was how pretty your smile looked, how kind your presence felt.

”here you go,” you grinned, snapping him out of his trance. ”you can use this.”

a pencil. yuuta took it from your opened palm, gazing at it in wonder. an orange-coloured, halloween-themed pumpkin design. completely out of season. the tiny pumpkin was cute, though.

such a casual kindness. but maybe that's exactly why it made his heart flutter so deeply; as if you did it without even really thinking. as if kindness comes easy, to you.

that’s probably how it began. by the time the workshop ended, yuuta knew that he liked you, and he knew that he wanted nothing more than to be your friend.

(subconsciously, his fingers tap at the zipper of his backpack. the pumpkin pen is still with him, after you waved him off with a smooth you can keep it, if you want. yuuta has found that he always writes best when he uses it.)

”well?”

maki’s voice snaps him out of his trip down memory lane, and he stumbles for something to say. what does he like about you?

squirming, yuuta feels his face heat up, as he thinks of you. all he can see is your smile, the kindness in the tilt of your voice. the brightness of the grin you sent his way. warm and saccharine, like the sun peeking out after a downpour — when the streets smell like honeydew and rain.

”they’re just… so cool,” he finally sighs, a dreamy look smoothing over his face. ”they’re so nice. and their smile is so beautiful. they’re so smart, too — god, you should see the way they write — everything about them is just…”

yuuta blushes a deep red, smiling even still. lovesick. ”.. so, so wonderful.”

maki freezes in the midst of the tapping of her pencil. panda stops kicking at the foot of the table. and inumaki looks away from his phone, messing up his full combo.

a moment of silence passes. the study hall grows quiet, and yuuta looks down at his lap; suddenly embarrassed. sipping from his little carton of apple juice.

”hey…” panda starts, delicate. somehow, yuuta dreads the teasing edge to his voice. ”have you thought about confessing to them, yuuta?”

”what?” the boy in question squeaks, choking on his juice. ”no, of course not!”

”why?” maki deadpans. popping a chip into her mouth. ”you’re head over heels, right? might as well do something about it.”

inumaki hums. affirmative.

”i… don’t know,” yuuta sighs. a heavy breath, a little wobbly. meek. ”they’d just reject me, wouldn’t they? i mean…”

(you’re totally out of his league. right?)

maki scoffs, sitting up a little straighter. there’s an angered kind of affection in her eyes. ”you’re just deciding that all on your own. how would you know how they feel?”

the gaze she sends his way is intense. it always has been. there’s a kindness to it, though, something that makes yuuta want to look her in the eye — but he can’t, eyes still locked on his hands, resting in his lap. ”… still,” he manages a weak smile, somewhat sheepish. ”even if i wanted to, there’s no way i could. i’m too much of a coward.”

…

maki slams her textbook shut. the sound is sudden, loud. yuuta flinches, and a wince leaves inumaki’s lips. panda just watches her, snacking on some chips, a mild curiousity simmering in his eyes.

the girl in question gets up from her seat, grabbing her bass case and throwing it over her shoulder. then she looks at yuuta, eyes full of decision.

”— well, lucky for you, we’ve got some time to spare.”

a blink. yuuta gazes up at the girl in front of him, tilting his head in confusion.

maki sighs. exasperated. ”i’m saying we’ll help you. don’t look so resigned, dumbass.”

at that, panda gets up too — suddenly excited. ”are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

she just huffs, smiling even still. ”probably not. but let’s hear it.”

the grin on his face widens. he scribbles something down in his notebook, showing off the writing proudly. ”operation: get yuuta to confess is about to commence!”

inumaki turns off his phone. sitting up straight, arms decisively crossed, a strangely serious expression on his face. completely invested.

”wait — wait!” yuuta stutters, eyes wide with flustered shock. ”don’t i get a say in this?”

”of course not.”

”nope!”

”bonito flakes.”

”b… but —”

”alright, so here’s what i’m thinking,” panda begins, writing down unintelligible notes on the pages of his tattered notebook. ”we need to start small. we don’t want yuuta getting heart palpitations and fainting in the middle of campus, so —”

”tuna mayo?”

”yeah, that’s perfect! hang on, lemme just…”

”let me see. i don’t want you messing this up.”

yuuta’s voice comes out tiny, as it falls from his lips. more of a squeaky breath. ”guys, i really — you don’t need to —”

panda continues to scribble in the notebook, engrossed, arm hanging off maki’s shoulder as they go over the contents. inumaki nods along, walking over to them with lazy steps. yuuta’s protests go unnoticed, and all he can do is watch them mutter under their breaths.

”— okay. listen up, yuuta.”

he raises his head, and meets maki’s sharp eyes. she’s smiling, strolling over to place the notebook right in front of him. ”here’s how this is gonna go.”

yuuta looks down. 

everything is written out with a pink sharpie, glittery and pretty. there are little hearts doodled out across the pages, and he can tell exactly which ones were drawn by who. all of them look messy, with the exception of inumaki’s perfect little shapes. 

and there, right in the middle, lies a line of text.

panda reads it out, voice loud and cheery, while maki and inumaki stick close. all smiling, as a chill crawls down yuuta’s spine.

”step 1: ask for their number!”

plan a

”okay, so… what am i supposed to do, exactly?”

panda throws an arm over yuuta’s shoulder, and he’s enveloped by the scent of fresh sunlight. the weight is heavy, a comfort. ”we’re going with my plan first! it’s the best one, so don’t worry.”

”i don’t know about that,” maki scoffs. ”we can’t ask mai. best case scenario, she’ll laugh at us a little and say no.”

inumaki hums. he rips out a part of the notebook he’s been tasked with carrying, doodling a little face and showing it to the rest of his friends.

yuuta leans in close. it’s a cute doodle, charming. and he can tell who it’s supposed to depict. miwa kasumi.

”yeah, she’s our best bet,” maki sighs, brushing some specks of dust off her jeans. ”she seems like the nicest one in that group.”

yuuta tilts his head, brows furrowed in confusion. he plays with the ring hanging around his neck, a nervous tick he’s never managed to get rid of. ”wait, so…” he trails off, unsure. ”what are we doing, exactly?”

panda tugs him closer, a friendly smile on his face. ”we’re going to their friends for help!” he beams. ”that’ll be easier for you, right?”

a blink. yuuta gazes into the eyes of his friend, something soft blooming in his eyes.

they can be a chaotic bunch — but they’re still so considerate. considerate enough to know asking for your number straight out would be too much for him. considerate enough to think of his comfort, in a way no one else has bothered to before.

(faced with such immense understanding, such genuine friendship, how could he ever bear to let them down?)

”… alright,” yuuta gulps, clutching his ring as if to give him courage. managing a smile. ”let’s do this, then!”

with newfound determination, the four of them seek out miwa kasumi. it doesn’t take too long — she’s studying, going over legal codes in the library, eyes narrowed in concentration. and she isn’t alone.

”hey, miwa. muta.”

the pair look up from their respective textbooks and laptop, meeting the gaze of a certain maki zenin, waltzing over to their table. miwa smiles, but kokichi doesn’t say anything.

”hi, maki! how are you?”

”i’m good,” she answers, straight to the point; but her eyes soften a little. then she gestures towards yuuta with a tilt of her head. ”sorry, but this guy needs your help.” 

”hm?” miwa shifts in her seat, meeting yuuta’s nervous gaze, as he steps forward. ”ah, you’re… okkotsu, right?”

”ah, yeah! sorry for interrupting you two…”

”no, no! please, don’t worry about it,” she grins. sweet and soft, twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers. ”we don't mind. right?”

kokichi still doesn’t say anything. but he nods, when miwa meets his eyes — and yuuta notices that they seem a lot softer when she does.

”so, here’s how it is…”

panda explains the situation to the pair. yuuta looks down at the floor, face flushed as he shifts from foot to foot. by the time he’s finished, miwa looks wholly invested, and kokichi looks a little less like all he wants is for them to leave him and miwa be.

”awww, that’s so sweet!!” she gushes, clasping her hands together. eyes glimmering with excitement.

”right,” maki hums. already a little impatient. ”so, basically — we need their number.”

”… ah. well, um —” miwa trails off, averting her gaze. she looks over at kokichi, but he only shrugs, going back to his coding. ”see, here’s the thing…”

with an apologetic look in her eyes, she turns to yuuta. ”i support you 100% — but i dunno if it’d feel right to just… give away their number like that, you know?” she mumbles, sheepishly. ”i think you should ask them, yourself. that’d be way more romantic!”

”yeah, but that’s a tall hurdle for a socially anxious guy…” panda mutters, patting yuuta’s back.

”still! i’m sure they’d appreciate you being direct.” miwa closes her eyes, a dreamy expression painted on her face. ”i’d be elated if someone asked for my number like that!! all stuttering and shy… it’d be so cute!”

(if anyone notices kokichi stiffening beside her, they don’t mention it.)

maki sighs, resigned. ”well, i don’t think we’re getting any numbers here. good. what kind of creep just texts someone out of nowhere, anyway?”

”i thought it was a good plan!” panda protests, pouting a little. maki shoots him a look.

”it was an awful plan. what were you planning to say? hey, i forced your friend to give me your number, but would you want to hang out sometime?” she crosses her arms with a sharp scoff. ”i’d beat your ass!”

panda grumbles a little under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. 

”sorry i couldn’t be of more help,” miwa mumbles, sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. ”good luck, though! i hope they say yes!”

”thanks, miwa,” yuuta smiles, already in the process of being tugged away by his friends. ”i really appreciate it!”

plan a

plan b

”alright, inumaki’s turn. what’s your take on the situation, mister?”

the boy in question sits up straight, back resting against a tree trunk. he writes something down, and yuuta waits, patiently — absentmindedly staring at the white petals of the apricot trees on campus. pure, fleeting, sweet blossoms unfurling before him.

when he’s finished, inumaki presents the page to yuuta, and everyone gathers round. reading the writing, eyes trailing over his little doodles. panda grins, and maki strokes her chin in contemplation.

”you’re a genius, inu!”

”well, it’s probably the easiest way to go about it…”

yuuta purses his lips. it’s a good plan, he thinks; writing out a note, and passing it to you in the middle of class. that way, he won’t have to turn his feelings into sounds, won’t have to speak them out loud. there’s a safety to it, the trickling of ink across blank papers. one that’s never failed him.

”… that should work,” he mumbles, and inumaki visibly brightens. ”what am i supposed to write, though?”

”just be straightforward.”

”not seconded!” panda huffs, crossing his legs. ”you need to be dramatic. heartfelt. that’ll catch their attention!” he stops to think for a moment, a hum buzzing loudly in his throat. ”hey — why not write them a love poem? put those skills to good use!”

”a love poem?” yuuta squeaks, a slight heat rising to the tips of his ears. ”there’s no way i could do that! and i’m not skilled, i —”

a pause. yuuta bites his lip.

”… it’d just be embarrassing,” he finally mutters, playing with his ring.

(he wonders what rika would think, if she were here. what she’d advise him to do — would she like the love poem idea? probably.)

”well, you could at least try. who knows, maybe they’ll like it,” maki attempts to reassure him, chewing at a piece of gum. ”if they’re anything like miwa, it’ll be easy.”

gnawing at his bottom lip, yuuta emits an anxious hum. deep in thought. maybe you would like it, but… what if you just think it’s cheesy?

maki observes him, intently. listening to the emotions behind his silence. tapping the pads of her fingers on her knee, in a rhythmic motion. ”… at least try writing something out,” she says. ”if you can’t think of anything, then just copy some random old guy. what was his name, uh — catallas? or something?”

yuuta’s gaze snaps up, eyes gone wide. ”catullus?” he gapes, in disbelief. ”are you insane? do you even know what kind of poems he wrote?”

maki shoots him a confused look, and a tilt of her head. ”isn’t he the ’give me a thousand kisses’ guy?”

”he is, but that’s —” a sigh, exasperated. flustered, as it flows from his parted lips. then he shakes his head. ”nevermind. it doesn’t matter.”

”tuna…” inumaki mumbles, nudging yuuta’s shoulder with his head. a silent encouragement. and even with no words, yuuta knows what he’s trying to say.

just be yourself. this is your specialty, right? 

write from your heart.

”inumaki…” yuuta meets his gaze, and is met with a pair of warm eyes. a friendly punch meets his shoulder, soft and delicate. kind.

”… alright. i’ll write it!”

”that’s the spirit!” panda grins. ”just give it to them during tomorrow’s lecture.”

”yeah,” yuuta nods, mustering the courage to smile. ”i will!”

when yuuta gets home that night, he makes himself a cup of coffee with too much sugar, and gets ready to write.

he listens to maki’s acoustic guitar covers through his headphones, curled up with the fluffy blanket panda gave him, and munches on a hastily made onigiri to give himself much-needed energy.

(writing with a certain pumpkin-themed pencil, basking in the scratching of lead against blank pages.)

his hands are shaking.

it’s barely noticeable, but it’s there. that nervous shiver of his bones, the rattling of his skeleton. you’re sitting right next to him, so close he can smell the shampoo you use, the mint off your breath —

and yuuta can’t seem to hand you the note.

he spent all last night writing it. putting every single little drop of his love into every single little word. but that fear of rejection still remains, rendering him useless, unable to act.

you’re listening to the lecture, but only halfheartedly, absentmindedly doodling in your notebook. out of boredom, he assumes.

it’s the perfect moment to strike.

yuuta’s hands are shaking, and his heartbeat is stuttering, crawling up his throat. he takes a sip of water, hoping it’ll make the dry sensation go away, but it doesn’t work.

(just be yourself.)

with a deep intake of breath, he pushes the note over to you — not daring to look your way.

his eyes remain glued on the laptop screen in front of him, but he hears you pick it up, hears the rustling of paper as you unfold it. his heart echoes with a similar rhythm, unstable, borderline erratic. the rest of the lecture passes by slowly, minute by minute, at an agonizing pace.

when it finally ends, yuuta has to restrain the urge to run away — turning towards you slowly, hesitantly, as if just the sight of you could blind him if he isn’t careful. but you’re already looking at him. and you’re smiling.

”that was so good, yuuta!”

….

huh?

”sorry, but i honestly don’t have any feedback,” you mumble, eyes trailing over the note again. ”i like it a lot. i didn’t know you wrote poetry!”

”… ah.”  yuuta stumbles for something to say. staring into your eyes, blankly. dumbly. ”t.. thank you! i’m glad you liked it.”

with a brief shake of your head, you smile, and something sickly sweet unfurls in his chest. ”not at all. thanks for letting me read it! i’m sorry i can’t really help you improve…”

mentally, yuuta falls to his knees. places his palms on the floor and dry heaves, clutching his heart. did you not get it? was he not clear enough? he wrote it with you in mind, so —

”maybe you could show it to professor nanami?” you suggest, unaware of the turmoil within the boy to your right. ”i'm sure he’ll be a great help! he can seem a bit intimidating, but he’s nice.”

”.. yeah,” yuuta smiles, weakly. ”i’ll do that. thanks again.”

for a moment, he isn’t even upset. because you flash him another bright smile, and suddenly, even the frustration of yet another setback doesn’t feel so awful.

(maybe it’s fine, he thinks. maybe this is enough; speaking to you, getting to see your smile up close. maybe he doesn’t need anything else, after all.)

”so?” maki questions, waiting for him outside of class with his other two friends. ”how’d it go?”

shoulders slumped, but still wearing a smile on his face, yuuta chuckles. it comes out sounding a little strangled. ”they… thought i wanted their feedback on my poetry.”

….

”what.”

panda attempt to stifle his laughter, but it doesn’t really work. inumaki elbows him gently, but yuuta sees his eyes crinkle, too. he breathes out a low chuckle. ”they liked the poem, at least. so i’m happy.”

a sigh falls from maki’s lips, and she waltzes over to him, a hand on her hip. the other reaches out for the note in his palm. ”let me see.”

quickly unfolding it, her eyes trail across the words on the pages, the flowery lines of writing —

and then she shoots him an unimpressed look.

”.. yuuta,” she pinches the bridge of her nose. ”what the hell is this? you didn’t even mention their number.”

panda leans over her shoulder, peeking at the text. eyes glancing over a couple lines, riddled with sugarsweet metaphors. ”uh, wow. you… really got into it, huh?”

a groan leaves yuuta’s lips, the sound muffled as he cradles his head in his hands. ”please don’t say anything else. i just wanna crawl into a hole and die…”

inumaki shakes his head, erratic, pointing at the poem with shining eyes. ”mentaiko!”

”ah, you liked it? thanks, inumaki…”

the boy in question smiles, shooting yuuta a thumbs up. he returns it with a small smile of his own.

surrounded by his friends, all he can do is bask in their warmth — and the memory of the smile you gave him.

plan a plan b

plan c

a groan fills the air, as yuuta slumps over the table. cheek pressed against the cold wood, absently kicking his legs, voice meek and defeated.

”this is never gonna work,” he mutters under his breath. eyes devoid of hope. ” i’m just not cut out for this, guys…”

”aw, c’mon….” panda reaches over to ruffle his hair, palm big and warm. ”don’t give up hope! you want to grow closer to them, don’t you?”

”i do, but…” he sighs. ”this isn’t going very well, is it…?”

inumaki frowns, sending yuuta a sympathetic glance.

”oh, quit moping already!” maki grumbles. ”we just need to keep brainstorming. isn’t it time for my plan, yet?”

”should we really even keep going…?” another sigh, heavy with fatigue. yuuta’s mind spins in circles, tiring him out. rendering him a bit cynical. ”i mean… maybe it’s fine if things stay this way.”

a moment passes. maki looks at him, emitting a soft scoff. ”what, so you’re just gonna keep pining for the rest of the term?”

”that’s the plan.”

”yuuta…” panda pouts, shoes bumping against his beneath the table. ”be more positive! just think about it; with every step you take, you get closer to confessing!”

yet another groan. this one is deep, riddled with exhaustion. muffled into the table. ”that’s the scariest part…”

before either of his friends can begin to persuade him otherwise, encourage him further, a sing-songy voice echoes throughout the air. loud, cheery — a little bit obnoxious.

”oh? did someone just say confess?”

at the same instant the sound reaches their ears, a chill runs down the youths’ spines. in tandem with each other, they raise their heads; gazes falling on a certain satoru gojo.

panda and maki are the first to act, speaking simultaneously as the white haired man inches closer. 

”— no.”

maki closes the notebook containing operation: get yuuta to confess, right before their professor can get close enough to see it. then she turns towards him, shooting him a cold look.

”your hearing’s getting bad,” she hums. ”maybe you should book a doctor’s appointment.”

a pout. gojo takes a seat right beside her, uncomfortably long legs bumping against every single other pair of shoes beneath the table.

”oh, c’mon. you know i heard you.” his hand reaches out to ruffle her hair, but she smacks it away. ”you’re starting to sound just like megumi, y’know that?”

maki grits her teeth. ”guess it’s a genetic thing,” she huffs. ”now can you leave? don’t you have papers to grade?”

”don’t you have papers to write?” gojo smirks, a teasing mirth in his eyes. hidden behind his sunglasses. maki ignores him. 

placing his palms on the table, he leans a little closer, lips curled up into a cheshire grin. foreboding. ”sooo… yuuta’s got himself a little crush, huh?” he teases. ”tell your favorite professor allll about it. maybe i can help!”

”professor geto is our favorite,” maki shoots back, instantaneous.

a soft huff. there’s something sour in gojo’s expression, now. ”that guy? really?”

before the two can argue further, yuuta takes the opportunity to to speak. smiling apologetically, polite and sweet. ”thanks, mr. gojo, but…”

”he doesn't need your help,” maki cuts in. so much for diffusing the tension. ”and do you really expect us to believe you get girls?”

”wha — rude!” gojo scoffs. ”for your information, i’m a natural charmer!”

… 

a moment passes. then another.

”… tough crowd,” he clicks his tongue, met only with four blank stares. ”but, really — let me help! i'm your professor, you know?”

and this time, yuuta thinks that gojo’s smile looks just a little more sincere. something kind and gentle in the way his lips curl up, like a father’s affection for their children. something that makes yuuta falter.

(maki might like mr. geto more — but when it comes to yuuta, his favorite professor is a no-brainer.)

so he speaks up, again. ”we can at least hear him out, right…?” maki shoots him an unimpressed look, but he doesn’t back down. ”we’re stuck, anyway…”

and just like that, gojo brightens. it’s obvious, in the way he sits up, more alert. in the way his grin grows wider. ”right? what you need is the perspective of someone more experienced.”

”have you even talked to a girl before?”

”i see him at ieiri’s office, sometimes.”

”salmon.”

”isn’t she a lesbian? that doesn’t count. i mean, like, in a romantic context.”

”i thought mr. gojo was gay, too?”

”what? no way. have you seen the way he’s dressed —?”

gojo clears his throat, voice loud and grating. demanding attention, cutting his eager students off. ”anyway,” he chirps. ”gather round, children! i’ll tell you exactly how to ask the person you like for their number.”

”wh —” yuuta blinks. ”how’d you…?”

”operation ’get yuuta to confess!’, step 1: ask for their number!” gojo repeats, grinning ear to ear. voice rich with amusement. ”i like the glitter. it’s a nice touch.”

maki huffs. looks like she didn’t close it fast enough.

begrudgingly, the youths quiet down, finally willing to hear their professor out. and gojo seems satisfied, at last, speaking in a hushed whisper; eerily serious all of a sudden. ”ok, so here’s what you do…”

everything goes silent. yuuta strains his ears, and gojo parts his lips. 

”— just ask them! easy, right?

….

”let’s go, yuuta.”

”mentaiko.”

”i heard they're serving those sandwiches you like at the cafeteria today! let's hurry before they run out.”

”ah — i was just kidding!” gojo laughs, as his students get up from their seats. ”i have an actual answer!”

maki grabs her bass, inumaki takes the notebook, and panda ushers yuuta away. they begin to walk down the hall, ignoring the pleas of the man behind them. pouting, as his shout echoes throughout the hallway. 

”kids! come back!”

plan a plan b plan c

plan d

”okay, so this is going absolutely nowhere.”

relishing in the shadow cast by the giant campus tree, the four friends sit on their usual table, sandwiches in hand. yuuta takes a bite of his, tentative. a little disheartened.

”really, guys… i appreciate it a lot, but maybe we should stop here.”

maki huffs. reaching across the table, she gently smacks him over the head with her can of sprite. ”no way. we still haven’t tried my plan.”

he leans back, a little further, a hesitant look in his eyes. the sun shines down, relentless, but the air smells like rain. in the distance he sees clouds, dark, approaching at a slow pace.

an omen, he thinks. a reason not to speak out.

rika always liked the rain. she liked the scent that came with it, the puddles she could jump in. she liked shaking the branches of tiny trees, just to see him jolt and squeak as the raindrops hit him.

the ring around his neck weighs heavy on his heart. the promise of it, the oath within the silver.

(when we grow up, let’s get married!)

”earth to yuuta!”

his eyes flutter open.

the sun shines down, embracing the contours of his face. painting his world yellow. from this angle, staring up at the tree, he can see it breaking through; between the gaps of the green leaves, the white blossoms. forcing its way into his line of vision.

a flicker of hope.

”do you want to hear the plan or not?” maki scoffs, crossing her arms and tapping at her elbow. impatient.

yuuta meets her gaze, finding it in him to muster up just a little more determination. ”yeah,” he breathes. ”i do.”

a smile blooms on her face. ”good. alright.”

panda and inumaki inch closer to the pair, careful not to knock over the cans of soda resting on the table. in a mess of limbs and tousled hair, they gather round.

this is it, yuuta thinks — the final plan. if it fails, he’ll just have to keep pining from afar. memorizing your smile, over and over, until you graduate and part ways. 

this is it.

maki parts her lips.

”— just ask them,” she says. ”straight out.”

silence. 

a moment passes. a soft, pleasant breeze flits by, caressing yuuta’s skin. his ring sways with the wind, gently. 

”… huh?!”

panda furrow his brows, leaning closer with his palms on his knees. ”i thought we agreed that was stupid!” inumaki huffs out a low affirmative noise, holding his sketchbook tightly to his chest. but maki only puffs out her chest.

yuuta tilts his head, with a soft furrow of his brows. ”didn’t you just cuss out mr. gojo for suggesting that…?”

”well, it’s dumb when he says it…” she mutters, under her breath. then her gaze turns firm. ”look — yuuta.”

when the two lock eyes, he notices a steadfast determination, glimmering in her irises. something almost burning.

”you aren’t going to get anywhere if you’re too cowardly to even look them in the eye,” she tells him, not allowing him to squirm away from the eye contact. ”you guys can come up with those convoluted plans all you want, but there’s no way you’ll grow closer if you can’t face them.”

tousling her hair, softly, maki lets out a sigh. there’s a kindness to it, distinct. he can tell she’s trying to be tactful. 

”if you really want to get to know them, then you have to be direct. and you have to believe in yourself. you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that they’ll say no — but that’s just dumb.”

panda winces, under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. maybe this is exactly what yuuta needs to hear.

the boy in question listens, the eyes of his friend boring into his own. determined, confident, sincere — everything he isn’t. everything he wants to be.

”even if you don’t believe it, you’re a charming guy. we all think so,” she continues, matter-of-factly. angered affection overflowing in her voice.

”have some confidence, dammit!”

a moment passes. yuuta feels his lips part, ever so slightly. a little speechless.

panda and inumaki sit shoulder to shoulder, hands over their eyes, shielding themselves from the sight in front of them. comically, as if it’s too bright to look at directly. 

”this… overflowing tough love…!”

”salmon roe…!”

maki grins, all teeth, a little wolfish. but kind. ”the worst thing they can say is no, right? 

yuuta blinks. ”maki…” he mumbles, looking into her eyes, a certain sensation running through his chest. a kind of confidence. passed on from her to him — one friend to another. the most natural exchange in the world.

then he smiles. a little meek, somewhat awkward — but bright. ”yeah. yeah, you’re right!”

the lazy grin on her lips only deepens, as she gets up to her feet, dusting non-existent dirt off her jeans. reaching a hand out for yuuta to take. ”c’mon, loser. shape up. you’re gonna steal their heart, aren’t you?”

a moment passes.

yuuta takes her hand in his. ”i am,” he swallows down a gulp. willing his voice to sound even a little bit self-assured.

and she pulls him up, effortlessly, overflowing with a natural resilience. still grinning cheekily. encouraging him. ”you’re gonna go out there and do your best, right?”

”i — i am!”

another voice chimes in. ”you’re gonna finish my essay for me this week, right?”

”i am!”

…

”wait —”

maki hits panda over the head with a soft thwack. a wince leaves his lips, and inumaki giggles, quieting down when maki sends him a warning glance.

”don’t throw him off his game,” she huffs. then she turns to yuuta once more. ”let’s go find them. alright, loverboy?”

a smile blooms on his lips. grateful, to be surrounded by such sunny people. ones that make it a little easier to smile each day. ”right.”

— but before either of them can take a step forward, a warm voice spills into the open air.

”um, yuuta?”

the boy in question stops in his tracks. he feels his eyes widen, spinning on his heels, hair ruffled by the breeze — turning to look at the source of the sound. 

it’s you.

you, with your sunkissed smile, that inviting voice. that soothing, soothing presence. one that has his heartbeat picking up in speed, hands growing sweaty, throat running dry. one that makes him feel a little bit feverish. and you’re looking right at him, into his eyes.

”hey!” he sputters, blinking rapidly to convince himself that he isn’t hallucinating. but you just keep smiling, answering his awkward greeting without skipping a beat.

”hi! sorry, could i just… talk to you, for a second?” 

he blinks. the world stops spinning.

(you… want to talk….

to him?)

attempting to find the words, any words, he opens his mouth — but nothing comes out. not a single syllable, no vowels, not even a sound. nothing at all.

he can only stare, star-struck.

it’s not until his friends push him forward that he’s snapped out of it; they surround him, on all sides, wearing matching grins. teasing and excited.

”don’t worry, he’s all yours!”

”have fun, you two!”

”salmon!”

— then they’re off. 

yuuta tries to reach for their sleeves, in a weak attempt to keep them from leaving, but they’re gone before he can even blink. leaving him all alone, with someone he can’t talk to without experiencing intense symptoms of heart failure. 

he stumbles for something to say, again, but thankfully you beat him to it.

”sorry for interrupting you guys,” you say, voice set to a low tilt. apologetic. and his throat unclogs, a little.

”ah, no, it’s fine!” he smiles, maybe a little too giddy. wanting so badly to reassure you, to put you at ease. ”i’m happy to speak to you!”

…

(oh god oh no why did i say that —)

your smile widens, blooming like a flower in the sunlight. unfurling in front of his very eyes. ”me too!” you say, excitedly. ”i feel like you and i have been talking more, recently… it’s nice.”

eyes crinkling, you wringle your hands together, and look at him fondly. yuuta’s surprised he manages to keep his knees from buckling.

”i think so too!” he grins, ears pink and dimples showing. 

both of you smile. the breeze curls around your hair, illuminating the colour of your eyes. yuuta stops breathing, for a moment — just taking it all in.

”so — anyway…” you murmur, fiddling with the fabric of your pants. ”um… haha. sorry, i’m — a little nervous…”

yuuta blinks.

(he knows where this is going. all the signs are there, right in front of him; the flush of your cheeks, the nervous tapping of your fingers, the hesitance in your eyes. he’s read enough shoujo manga — he knows what this means.)

and he almost can’t believe it.

all he can do is keep smiling, hoping it’ll give you even a fraction of the peace that your smile brings him. ”don’t be,” he says, voice soothing. scratching the back of his head. ”whatever it is, i’ll — um. i’ll listen, so…”

he clears his throat. swallowing thickly.

”just — whenever you're ready.”

there’s no mistaking it. your ears are painted pink, and you’re gnawing at your bottom lip. fiddling with your fingers and avoiding his gaze, with a soft inhale, clear air filling your lungs. he wonders if your throat feels as dry as his, if your heart is beating even half as fast.

”um… okay, so…” you mumble, eyes unable to stay in one place for too long. a soft bout of laughter escapes you, and he can tell you’re trying to stave off your own nervosity; it sends a pang of ache running through his chest.

he wants to tell you that there’s no need to be nervous. that he’d listen to anything you have say, absolutely anything, no matter what it is.

he wants to tell you that he’d never let you down, that he’d have to be foolish to even think the thought.

he wants to tell you that he’ll hear you out. whenever, wherever. for as long as you need.

”do you, um…”

a gulp. your eyes find his, and there’s a soft kind of decisiveness in them. 

here it comes, he thinks. here it comes.

yuuta feels the heat on his cheeks, ears burning. and he hears the patter of his heartbeat, loud and heavy, echoing in his muddled mind like a mantra. but his chest feels light; fluttery, butterflies dancing around uncontrollably. 

clutching the ring around his neck, subconsciously, he looks you in the eye.

they’re bright, glimmering like little galaxies — or maybe more like summer skies. painted over with a warm hue, something nostalgic and sweet, so pretty it hurts. if he strains his eyes enough, he’s almost sure he can see the swirling of fluffy clouds in the depths of your irises.

a smile rests on your lips. it's almost overwhelmingly sweet, albeit a little shy, as you part your pretty lips. voice soaked in nervosity, tingly and shaky, and something he knows to be puppy love.

a shallow, dry intake of breath. yuuta braces himself.

here it comes. 

your voice spills out into the air, dripping with honey and magnolias. he thinks to himself that he’d like to hear the melodic lilt of it every single day; before going to bed, right after waking up. walking to campus together, heading back to the dorms when the sky gets dark.

just the sound alone would be enough.

subconsciously, he tugs on the strap of his backpack. thinking of the pencil inside it. his lucky charm, along with the ring around his neck — ordinary objects, both too precious for words.

(when we grow up, let’s get married!

you can keep it, if you want.)

here it comes, yuuta thinks.

a new beginning.

he strains his ears, and purses his lips, and watches your lips move as you finally ask —

”do you have maki’s number?”

(somewhere in the distance, from an inconspicuous bush, the muffled screams of three students and one professor resounds.)

[shentheauthor]

That's ok! But I got a new request! Those headcanons for the Harbingers' S/O clobbering people got me thinking... Can I request headcanons about the Harbingers having a sweet and precious S/O who is also incredibly strong? They just regularly bench press Fatui Skirmishers, like the Electro ones with the hammers, will fist fight hilichurls and win, and carry loads that look like they could crush them with ease. Even more confusing if they have an average or slender build.

Heyo sorry this took so long! But I am here now to write <3

Harbingers with an s/o who’s small, but very strong

~~~~~~~

Pierro:

This man has lived for centuries

He thought he’d seen it all

But when you picked up a skirmisher with one hand and threw him across the room while helping the new recruits train

Pierro almost had a heart attack

He thought he imagined it at first, but the groaning skirmisher you’re helping to stand is more than enough evidence to the contrary

He’ll run over immediately and start questioning how in the hell you did that

Were you born with this strength???? Or did you do some kind of insane magic????

Watches you like a hawk now, but affectionately

Lowkey wants to be carried, but he refuses to ask

If you pick him up without permission tho, he will get SO flustered

Lift that old man, he’s touch starved and he needs it

Capitano:

The fatui soldiers see the two of you as a sort of “good cop” and “bad cop”

Soft, sweet angel, and an absolutely intimidating powerhouse

Imagine everyone’s surprise when you lift capitano effortlessly

Capitano is the most surprised out of everyone

He was just coming back home from being away for a while, and you greeted him at the city’s entrance

And there you go, spinning him around and crushing his ribs despite your average size

The man was too stunned to speak

His first thought is “have you been training??” But he’s smart enough to know that this is probably just

A You Thing™️

He’ll let you train with him now

And help the Fatui grunts train as well

You’ll beat everyone’s asses (politely) and capitano will just go “now this is why we don’t underestimate our opponents”

Now you two are both powerhouses, and everyone is afraid of you LMFAO

The two strongest people in Teyvat dating each other… what are the odds /hj

Dottore:

He’ll probably find out during an experiment gone wrong

A ruin machine goes out of control, and the segments are all working to take it down

AND ITS THE S/O WITH THE STEEL CHAIR (except the steel chair is your fucking fists)

Lifting literal Tons of metal effortlessly and tearing it apart without breaking a sweat

The segments: 👁️👁️

Godspeed, friend, bc they will NOT leave you alone now

When you date one Dottore, you date ALL of them

And all of them want to run tests on you

Or get carried by you

Or both at the same time

Seriously they wanna experiment on you SOOOOO bad

He is an absolute simp for you tho, so he will shut up if you promise to carry him around and help him with other experiments instead

Carry multiple segments at once, they will miraculously not fight with each other bc they’re in your arms <3

The Fatui soldiers thought you were the safe one, the sane one

But now they’re terrified of you too AJGKBKDKVKDK

Columbina:

Omfg dude she is SO happy

She’d probably find out after you pick her up

It’s not exactly hard to do, but she’ll notice that you didn’t even make an ounce of effort

So she’ll ask you to lift more things

Getting increasingly heavy

And she is absolutely delighted

Literally living her best life

You are now her personal vehicle

Carry her everywhere and she is happy

Loves watching you lift impossibly heavy objects easily

She thinks it’s so hot and amazing and impressive

She is so in love <3

Two people who look soft and sweet, but are secretly terrifyingly strong <3

Arlecchino:

She’d probably find out if someone tries to hurt you

Like on a mission or smth

Ruin golems come after you, as they tend to do, unfortunately

Arle wants to protect her soft, sweet s/o

But boom, there you go, LIFTING THAT THING

Bc you don’t want her to get hurt, of course!

She would have a solid 10 minutes of sheer confusion

“Who are you, and what have you done with my s/o”

It’s very clearly still you tho, as you’re checking her over for injuries

Once she’s processed and accepted what happened, she’s even more in love

You’re so strong, and that’s AWESOME

Asks you to help “deal with” insubordination

She doesn’t approve of how gentle you are with disobedient soldiers

But at least watching you lift them up and place them gently in their barracks as punishment is hella fun

I wanna know more about her HoYo…

Pulcinella:

He would not realize for a while

You like carrying him, but he isn’t exactly hard to carry for a normal person

No, he would realize when you’re both on a business trip

Loading luggage onto your carriage, there’s a ton of suitcases

“I’ve got this, love,” you say, reaching for all the very large, very heavy stacks of suitcases

“No, you don’t have to— what the fuck”

Very shocked, very flustered, bc wait, you can do this to ANYONE you want? Not just a little tiny gnome?

Oddly quiet and shy around you for the trip 🤨🤨🤨

This old man is so in love

Definitely watches you if you ever train in any way

Hell you probably have a few friends in the Fatui

He’ll watch you “hang out” with your friends (aka bench press them)

And he will just be :)

Quietly flustered mans

Scaramouche:

He can feel your strength when you hug him and pick him up

He isn’t exactly hard to pick up, being made of mostly light materials

But your lack of effort is suspicious

He has theories, and he will test them by taking you on missions and having you fight enemies

“Will you please lend me a hand”

You’re super sweet, so of course you’ll help

And oh there you go, literally punching through a ruin guard in one shot

Being an absolute ray of sunshine the whole way through

“Are you ok, kuni? :D”

He won’t comment on your strength, but man he’s proud to have such a strong partner

He knows the appeal of allowing your opponents to underestimate you, even tho that’s not what you’re doing

So he won’t tell anyone about it and delight in the shock that everyone else experiences when you reveal it yourself

And if he lets you carry him more often after? Well that’s none of your business…

Sandrone:

She wants one of her larger dolls moved

And before she can get her big robot butler guy to do it, you’re taking care of it

Boom, big robot butler guy has been replaced /hj

Like, Sandrone won’t even use machines to move her dolls anymore

She just has you do it, since you’re happy to help

She’s so excited for the extra help 😭😭 for once

Be honored she lets you touch them

BUT! Also…

She wants you to carry her sooo bad

She will never tell you directly, but she makes it so obvious you always know when she wants it

Sandrone visibly relaxes in your arms

She feels safe and warm and happy

Very glad she didn’t turn you into a puppet lmao

Signora:

She’s so shook omfg

You lifting her is kind of insane, bc she is TALL AS HELL

But you did lift her, and there she is, held in your arms and slowly beginning to blush

“…dear, please put me down”

“Nope <3 your feet look tired, you deserve a break <3”

“…fair enough”

She won’t let you carry her in public, but in private? She will wrap her whole body around you and let you hold her

She thinks it’s funny to watch you just LIFT gunners and skirmishers, bc they’re always so shocked

She will compliment your strength in private all the time

What I wouldn’t give to have her wrapped around me, dancing in her bedroom with nobody else around AUGUHHHHH

Pantalone:

You two get caught in the rain together while in Liyue on banking business

Neither of you have umbrellas, and Pantalone is wearing his nice shoes

You, being a sweetheart, don’t want his shoes to get dirty, so you pick him up and book it to the bank

This man is so confused, flustered, and delighted at the same time

“Darling, you never told me you could lift me like that”

When he finds out you can lift more? Oh my god dude he is so whipped

He wants you to hold him all the time

He just adores watching you carry things around

Especially because everyone stares and looks so freaked out Lmao

This man is literally just… heart eyes, motherfucker personified

Literally so so down bad for you, it’s not even funny

Carry his mora for him, he’ll propose on the spot /hj

Tartaglia:

OH MAN

He wouldn’t bring a non-combatant onto the battlefield

But he would see you training with the soldiers and immediately do a 180 on that

“PLEASE SPAR WITH ME!!!”

You will, bc you know how much he loves it

And you won’t beat his ass, bc he’s very skilled, but man the hits you land hit HARD

He will now show you off to everyone

“Guys this is my beautiful, kind, strong s/o, look at them :D”

Down bad mf

Loves being carried soooo much dude, he’s so touch starved and he wants affection so bad

Hell dude he’ll let you carry him in public

Unless it’s around his soldiers

He has to set a good example after all

But every other time, you will not be allowed to put him down

Utterly smitten mf

[vster0769]

friends or something.

a little over 2k

Hey guys! So first time writing a hazel fic, thing, whatever you wanna call it. 

Got the idea from a post I’ll attach somewhere. 

About: you and hazel have been friends as long as you can remember, but neither of you have said anything about your feelings for each other. Unknowingly, you admit them and she overhears. 

Band member!y/n loser best friend!hazel  

unrequited love trope !no use of y/n!

Warnings: nothing really, just making out, wouldn’t call it angst, more fluff I guess, idk. Didn’t really know where to go with this one. 

Tags:  @berrydollie @deadgirlwalkingtaylorsversion @evdinspiration 

………………………………………………………….

The halls are crowded as you push your way through to your next class. You sigh as Jeff and his posse of men-children shove their way through ahead of you. Shoving people to the side as they went. 

You roll your eyes, adjusting the strap of your bag as you go. 

You slide into your seat, resting your head on your palm and closing your eyes. 

“Hey!”

You open your eyes and see hazel, eyes shining as she looks at you. Your stomach flutters as she smiles. Looking like literal fucking sunshine. 

“Hey,” you smile back, nudging her shoulder with yours.

The two of you had been best friends for as long as you could remember. It seemed like you went everywhere with each other, your parents had been friends so you had practically grown up together. It seems like you had spent as many nights at her house as you had spent at your own.

“What’s up?” She asks, pulling her book from her bag, “you don’t look so great.” Her face turns from questioning to embarrassed. “Not that you don’t look great! I mean, like you always look great, I mean, uh-“

She looks down. Cheeks turning pink. 

“Sorry, you just look a little out of it.”

You shake your head. 

“I’m ok, just, well stressed to be honest.”

You pull out your respective books and thumb through the pages aimlessly. “We’ve got a gig tonight and it’s just, well the biggest one we’ve had yet.”

She nods, “well I’m sure you’re gonna be great.”

“Actually,” you say, meeting her gaze before glancing away. “I was, well I was wondering if you wanted to ask if you wanted to come.” Your face turns red, this is the closest you had ever gotten to asking her out. Sure, you’d had a crush on her since the seventh grade, and sure you’d told her that you liked girls on your sixteenth birthday after having too much to drink, but that’s as far as it went. 

Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth, “oh-“ she says, looking away, “I would but, well I got something going on tonight.”

Your heart sinks. Well there goes that brilliant plan. 

“No, no you’re all good.” You say, trying to give her a reassuring smile. 

“I’m sorry, I totally would have.” She sounds genuinely sorry, your heart tightens. 

You’re about to say something, but then the bell rings. You remark on how oddly short the classes are here at Emerson, before slipping in your headphones, giving hazel a small wave, and walking to your next class. 

………………………………………………………….

This all started out small just you and a few friends, messing around in your moms garage. 

It’s far from that now. 

You look into the crowd of excited, screaming people, your heart racing as your fingers slam into the guitar strings. 

The noise is deafening, like a thunderstorm encased in a bottle. 

The third song ends and you break to guzzle a bottle of water. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, before slinging your guitar behind you. 

“Now we’re gonna be taking a few questions!” Shouts your friend, the lead singer. You hear a shout, a little louder than the rest, “HEY! WHO WAS THAT LAST ONE ABOUT?”

Your stomach does a flip and you clear your throat. 

“Well actually, this song was by our guitarist, so we’re just gonna let her answer this one.” She says sending you a questioning look. She knew you wrote it, and knew it was about someone you cared about, but the matter of who, was still a mystery. 

You clear your throat, stepping up to the mic. 

“Well, uh I wrote this one a little while ago, and uh well it’s about someone who I really liked, honestly still do, um yeah.” You say awkwardly. 

“WHO IS HE?”

Your eyes widen, head snapping around to find the voice in the crowd. 

“Well who said anything about a he?”

You say with a smirk. The crowd screams as you step back, shouting, “ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!” 

With that, your next song is on. 

The rest of the night is a blur of bright lights, screaming people, and no breaks. You can’t seem to shake the question from your mind though, you knew exactly who it was about, you could never get her out of your head. Her ocean blue puppy dog eyes, her short brunette hair that looked too soft to touch, the way you could talk to her for hours and still not get bored. 

………..………………………………………………

Hazel had never been one to procrastinate. She always had a plan. Always got her work done, always scheduled everything. 

That’s why she was so frustrated as she stared at the blank word doc she’s had open for the last half hour. 

She let out an angry sigh as she slammed the computer shut. Rubbing her palms in her eyes. 

“What the fuck.” She breathes. She knew exactly why she couldn’t work. There was one person on her mind, it didn’t help that that person had asked her to go to her show and hazel had turned her down. 

Feelings of guilt at not going, anger that she couldn’t get anything done, and, yes. She could admit it. Longing. Despite how hard she tried to deny it, she wanted to be there. Wanted to see her. More than anything she wanted to be by her. 

For all of hazels calculated ways, she couldn’t seem to stay away from her. She made hazel feel things, really feel things. Uncertainty, sure there was that, but there was also a kind of comforting want. She made hazels stomach do backflips. Made her want things, for the first time in her life she really wanted someone. 

Sure, she’d had crushes before, but those always went away. This was different. 

She sat there for another minute before deciding. 

fuck it.

”I’m heading out mom!” She yelled, running down the stairs. She heard a muffled response, but decided it wasn’t that important as she swung out the door. 

………………………………………………………….

The room was crowded. Very crowded. And loud, really fucking loud. 

Hazel made her way through the crowd, mumbling awkward apologies as she brushed by. 

Then she saw you, fingers deftly moving across the strings, a look of pure joy on your face. Fuck she looks good. Hazel thought. Her heart thrumming against her chest. 

A smile graced her lips as she watched you, and for a second she let herself fall into the fantasy, maybe just maybe, she could be something to you. Something more than just friends. 

As the song finished, she cheered, loud as she could, eyes shining and watching you like you were a goddess. 

Someone yelled as the crowd died down. 

“HEY, WHOS THE LAST ONE ABOUT?”

She didn’t think much of it till the lead singer spoke up, 

“Actually our guitarist wrote this one. So we’re just gonna let her answer this one.”

Her head snaps up, sure the song had been upbeat, but the words, well the words were sad. Longing. Wishing for something, someone unattainable. 

“Well, uh I wrote this one a little while ago, and uh well it’s about someone who I really liked, honestly still do, um yeah

“WHO IS HE??”

“Who said anything about a guy?”

And with that they were at it again. 

And all hazel could do was stand there. Unsure. Hopeful. Dazed if she was honest. 

Part of her was sure there was no way, but another part simply wouldn’t let go of the idea. 

What if…

………………………………………………………….

You let out a sigh of relief as you walked to the edge of the bar. Leaning your head on your forearms and taking a breath. 

A mix of exhaustion and adrenaline mixed in your gut. Making you almost dizzy. 

You feel a hand rest on your back, and look up, 

“Hey,”

It’s your friend. 

“Hey.”

It’s quiet for a moment. 

“So uh, I wanted to talk to you about that song. I never pushed because, well it didn’t seem like something to push. But, y’know I’m curious. Who is that about?”

You look down. 

fuck.

You meet her gaze before shaking your head. 

“It’s, well.”

Swallow. 

“Um, you know hazel-“

“OH MY GOD I KNEW IT!”

You motion for her to quiet down, but she doesn’t. 

“I KNEW YOU HAD THE HOTS FOR HER! Oh my god, I fucking guessed. Hazel of all people.” 

You shake your head. 

Turning around, your eyes meet a pair of blue eyes so deep you could drown in them. 

Hazel stood there, mouth slightly open, eyes wide, completely still. 

Your stomach dropped about twelve stories. 

The both of you stare at each other for a solid five seconds before you push past her. Heading for the door. 

what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-

You slam through the doors to the alley. Pressing your back into the cold brick. 

Everything is fucked. 

All you can think of is the look on her face. 

she was mortified.

You bury your face in your hands. 

Body shaking. 

why wouldn’t she be? Fuck you wrote a fucking song about her and then confessed your love basically to her face.

“Hey!”

Hazel. 

“Please,” you cut her off. 

“Just let me explain, I well I didn’t know what I was saying, and I mean it’s ok if you don’t want to be friends anymore or whatever, I- I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

You stand there.

Quiet. 

You look up. 

All she does is stare at you. 

After a minute, she speaks. 

“You’re right.”

Your heart is pounding so hard you’re sure she can hear it. 

“I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest, a physical pain. Worse than anything before. 

“I want to be so much more than that.”

Her voice breaks on the last words, and before you can think her hands are on your face and her lips against her. 

You stand there a second, unsure if this is just a dream, a hallucination, some sort of sick joke, before kissing her back. 

If this is a dream it’s the best fucking dream you’ve ever had. 

Your lips slit together perfectly. She’s shy at first, moving slow and gentle. Your hands go to her waist, pulling her closer, simultaneously, you both breathe a sigh of relief. A weight falls off your chest, leaving you feeling lighter than ever. 

“Fuck you don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,”

She breaths against your lips. 

You don’t respond, just pull her face to yours. Opening your lips to deepen the kiss. 

She lets out a shaky breath and slides her tongue along your bottom lip, begging for access, which you grant immediately. Her hands travel to your waist, guiding you to the wall and slamming you against it. 

“Oh, shit sorry-“

“Don’t be.”

You smile and bring your hand to her hair, running your fingers through it. Just as soft as you’d imagined. 

“fuck”

She breathes, pressing kisses along your cheek and below your jaw. 

“Is this ok?”

She asks, lips hovering over the delicate skin of your neck. 

You nod, “yeah, yes.”

“Ok.”

She paused a second before attaching her lips to your skin. Kissing and sucking. Leaving marks. She slides the strap of your tank off your shoulder, leaving gentle kisses before sucking, leaving yet another hicky. 

“Fuck, hazel,”

You breathe, 

“Yeah baby?”

You shake your head. 

“Nothing, I just, I like to say your name.”

She smiles, cheeks reddening. 

“Well I like hearing you say it.”

She kisses you again, soft and sweet, before pulling your strap back up. 

“We should probably get back.”

You nod. 

“We should talk about this,”

“We will. Tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

She grabs your hand, entwining her fingers in yours, and gazing at you like you were the most perfect thing in the world. 

You smile back, fuck she was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. 

With that you pushed through the doors, back into the noise, lights, and crowds of people. 

But this time you had hazel. 

And to be honest, that was the best thing that could happen. 

[d0g0r0t]

Hello

Can I please ask for some fluff with Toby pls 🙈

Toby fluff hcs!

Got me kicking me feet and shit

Before you guys started dating he didn't know he had a crush on you until Tim told him

Toby: she's cool and strong and pretty and-

Tim: so you have a crush on her?

Toby: what

Tim: you literally just expressed to me you have a crush on her..

Toby:... no I didnt..

Tim: yes the fuck you did

Toby:.... nuh uh...

Yea....

But when it finally clicked to him he had a crush on you he couldn't get the thought of you out of his head

He would draw you along with your name on literally everything, his hand, walls, floors, tables, paper. If it can be drawed on he'll do it

He saw you in everything and it actually started to effect his performance on missions and overall life

That tree over there? Sees your face. The sky? Sees your eyes. The grass? Sees your hair. The dirt? Sees your skin. Everywhere he goes he always sees you and he always becomes a hot mess

Everything your around he always gets super quiet and anxious and his face is very clearly red, his heads down and he always fiddles with his fingers and sleeve trying his best to make himself look small.

EVERY SINGLE TIME you talk to him his stutters and tics get super bad and it makes him frustrated cause he feels like you'll be weirded out. But when you don't care he can't help but feel butterflies in his stomach.

He's always staring at you when your around. He doesn't really realize that you guys are making eye contact and that you caught him.

When he finally got the courage to ask you out and you said yes. All he said was "Ok" and walked away. The moment he was alone he was jumping up and down, kicking his feet, screaming into his pillow and overall fan girling over you and the fact you guys were dating

The first few days were so awkward

Everytime you were near he would glance over and smile at you and give you small very awkward compliments "you look very pretty today... well I mean you look pretty everyday!" "You remind me of a jelly fish.. fuck wait that sounds so weird.."

He gives you little gifts. Probably stole them

He BEGS all the girls in the mansion for advice on how to be atleast a decant boyfriend

LIGHT NIGHT CAMPFIRES. Will take you by the hand and hold you close making sure your safe and he doesn't lose you in the dark and starts a nice warm fire for just the two of you as you guys eat snacks and do silly couple things

He gets really off track and will start following random squirrels and will be really sad when it runs up and hides in a tree. "Awe man the squirrel ran away :("

He's a human dog.. that's it he's an actual dog stuck in a humans body

He follows you around LIKE A DOG.

everytime you speak to him he always gets really happy and he stims and gets all giddy

He gets even more happy when you guys get physical. He's never really had any good physical interactions so the first time you were gentle with him he started to cry because you were so nice

Doesn't really understand boundaries. He's always on you one way or another and doesn't think about you personally, your just in his arms and that's all that matters

But when you tell him the boundaries he broke he'll get really sappy and upset with himself and won't shut up about how sorry he is

Back to him being an actual dog he growls when people get to close to you ad he holds you tightly in his arms with his head on top of yours. "Mine >:("

HELP I HAVE SO MANY MORE HCS I JUST DONT WANT THIS TO BE TO LONG 😭

Also i accidentally posted this to early and couldn't UNPOST IT. So if you saw it before it was finished no u didnt

[xoxo-sarah]

Girls Like Girls

Could be read as part 2 to Difficult but can also be read on its own.

↝a/n: Hayley Kiyoko? Yes, please.

↝pairing: Robin Buckley x FEM!reader

↝Warning: 80's, homophobia, kissing, physical altercations (getting punched), suggestive?, breaking up, Douchebag! boyfriend from Difficult , not proofread

↝⎙ 4.23.23

"Stay away from her, Robin. I'm serious."

Steve had his hands on his hips, staring at the girl who was covering up the purple marks on her neck. He had told her a million times 'stay away from her. She's trouble.' with his hands on his hips like always. She found it funny, how he looked like a dad scolding his kids. The picture was funny, but the words never stuck with her. You were like a drug. She had to keep going back for more, ignoring the shoulder of the man you were hanging off of. No matter how close you were to him, your eyes were always connecting with hers, watching her every move, A stupid smile on your face.

She watched. It's all she could do. In public, at least. In private, your hands explored everywhere. Soft whines and smiles mixed into kisses ended in you tho dancing around the sheets, under the covers as if hiding from the outside world. The world where you two were just friends. Where you two have never kissed, never explored each other's bodies, never mapped out every curve of the other.

Robin had tried explaining to Steve, you were different, your situation was different. You couldn't leave. You wanted to. God, you've shown her how much you wanted to leave the douchebag far too many times for you to not mean it. The thing is, Steve will never know the feeling. The feeling of having to hide who you love in fear of how other people will react. He'll never have random people screaming slurs at him as he walked by, hand in hand with his girlfriend. He'll never have to fear getting disowned for simply loving someone. Steve could only watch from the outside, where he saw someone cheating and his poor friends being in the middle of it. He despised you before you even met. Steve watched as Robin had covered up plenty of hickeys, knowing you didn't care how many you left, as long as you were untouched. Robin knew why you did it, he never could. You expressed your need and love for her all over her body in bruising kisses and licks, whereas Robin would bring into a bone crushing kiss.

"Steve,"

Here it goes. The conversation. The same one they have every. Single. Time. It got old after the second time.

"No, Robin. You're setting yourself up to get hurt. She's using you."

Robin stopped her movement, glaring at him. "No, she's not! She loves me-"

"That's what her boyfriend thinks too!"

"Well he's not the one with her at night now is he?"

Before Steve could respond, there was a beating at the door. Screaming seemed to echo across the whole town.

Robin and Steve both ran out of the room and to the door.

Robin opened it, being met with a furious red face. You stood behind, your hands over his biceps, trying to pull him back. Robin noticed the tears and the old streaks on your face. Before she could think anything else, a large fist connected to her cheek. Her hand flew off the door straight to her face as you yelped, a sob racking your body. Steve caught Robin, checking her face before yelling at your pissed off boyfriend. Slurs were quite literally spit at Robin as she held her cheek. Her eyes traveled from the floor, past the two guys who were sizing each other up. She saw you trying to get past your boyfriend, into the door and to her. Watching as you finally squeezed through, heading straight for her. Hands grabbed your arm, causing another yelp. Spit flew from his mouth, drenching you as you pleaded for him to let go. By the way his knuckles turned white, Robin could tell he was squeezing your arm tighter, surely leaving bruises on your beautiful skin.

Steve threw a punch, surprising everyone, but finally getting your arm free.

Making a straight line for Robin, you gently took her hand away with your shakey ones, hiccuping as more tears poured. She just watched as you led her away from the men, straight to the bathroom. It was when the click of you locking the door was when she seemed to regain her hearing. She now hears everything scream from the stomachs of the men outside the door. She now felt the pain in her cheek, now felt the tears rolling down her face from the pain.

Instead of a blanket protecting you two from the world, it's now a bathroom door.

There wasn't a word said as you grabbed tissue, wet it, and cleaned her cheek. It wasn't until you threw the tissue away that your lips stopped trembling for a slip second. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, you didn't punch me." Although Robin let a chuckle escape, there was no humor in her words. There wasn't enough room for it. She regretted trying to humor you as more tears gathered at your Waterline, your lip going back to trembling. "Hey, hey."

Bringing a hand up to your cheek, her heart sank as you slightly flinched away. She kept her hand there, caressing, as the coldness of her rings seemed to lull you out of a near panic attack.

"I'm sorry I brought you into this- he just- he found. I'm sorry." You whispered, staring at the scratch on her cheek. He just had to wear one of his rings. So many words gathered at your throat, never leaving- Just simply feeling like a lump there.

"How did he figure it out?" It was just you two, whispering as she held your face, your hands ghosting at her sides.

"One of his friends saw you leaving out of the window. Saw the hickeys and everything. God, I'm so stupid. I'm so, so sorry."

The screaming outside seized, but neither of you moved. Not even when the front door slammed shut.

"It's okay, Honey, I promise. Whatever he does next we can deal with." Robin was scared, of course. Her hand were shaking against your face. Your boyfriend was well-known. You and him were supposed to live a long life together; have kids and grow grey, according to everyone else. Robin listened as you had complained about him way before you two had done anything. After all, you two were friends before everything. It was probably middle school when you two met and became inseparable.

When you had shared a surprise kiss that Robin had indicated, she wanted to kick herself, going to move away before you brought her back into your grasp. Robin would play that moment in her head constantly, mostly when you two weren't together. Little does she know, that moment plays in your head too. When you lay in bed, a smile ghosting your lips, before it plummets when the bed dips. Acting asleep as an alcohol drenched breath moves beside your face as he mumbles shit that you don't care to decipher.

"I didn't want it to end this way." The guilt felt like it would suffocate you in one of the upcoming days. You dreamt about the day where you told your boyfriend- ex boyfriend how you felt, how he made you feel. You never would've thrown her under the bus.

Cold fingers grazed up your arm, stopping at the spot Robin saw his grip. Folding up the sleeve, she inspected the red fingerprints. Her jaw clenched, only for a second, before she was reminded of her own injury. "He's such a pussy." Indeed, he was.

"Robin, I love you. If I knew this would be how it went down-"

"Would you have not kissed me back? Cause, personally, I'd get hit a thousand and two times if it meant I get to kiss you freely."

A huff of anxiety exits through your mouth, a smile tugging at your skill frowning lips. Oh how she wanted to kiss that frown off your face for it to never be seen again as long as she lived. "You draw the line at a thousand and two, huh?"

Now it was Robin's turn to huff out a little laugh, bringing you closer, making sure not to touch the hurt arm. Her lips took your bottom one in-between them, rolling against each other in a pace you both have grown to know. "God, I love you so much, it hurts."

After a few more stolen kisses, you opened the door, being met with Steve sitting at the kitchen table, a beer discarded in front of him and a pack of peas against his knuckles. He glanced over, eyes softening as he saw your conjoined hands. "That dude is a total dick."

Robin walked over, inspecting Steve's very own soon-to-be black eye.

"On the bright side, we look so badass. Put some sunglasses on with a leather or jean jacket and no one will mess with us."

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

•My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

[alainapaloosa2]

Glorbie Actress AU headcanons:

Hey guys, before you read this, the story is actually out and in progress now

(And by headcanons i mean more of a story outline)

Gloria is a behind the scenes worker, usually either working on sounds or sets. She’s been doing this a long time and enjoys her job but she’s always dreamed of doing something more.

She secretly has always wanted to be an actual actress but with her daughter, her struggles to make ends meet, and like 25 other problems, she just never got around to it.

Then one day, a new actress comes. Her name is Barbara Handler but she goes by the stage name of Barbie.

She’s unlike anybody that anyone’s ever seen before. Gorgeous, bright, bubbly, always happy and with a smile that literally lights up a room. Everyone’s in love with her

So, Barbie’s at Gloria’s studio working on a new movie. It’s already planned to be a hit and production is going to be long and tiring.

At first, Gloria isn’t sure what to think of Barbie. She sees how everyone else around them practically fall onto their knees the second she enters a room, and the blonde does seem really kind, but Gloria feels like it’s just an act so she doesn’t try to engage in anything with the actress.

But she is secretly crushing on her. So secretly that she doesn’t even know.

And for some odd reason, Barbies taken a liking to Gloria.

Everyone is of course, jealous of this and Gloria has no idea what’s going on but she pretends to not like Barbie, but Barbie talks to her anyway. Eventually, Barbie worms herself into Gloria’s life and the two become friends. They hang out and Barbie takes Gloria out for lunch a lot.

When the movie is finished, Gloria doesn’t hear much from Barbie again and she thinks maybe they’re not friends anymore until Barbie invites her to the premiere about a year later. Barbies pretty famous now.

When they’re there, Gloria mentions she’s been having trouble finding work.

The next day Gloria gets is offered a job at the next movie Barbie’s staring in and very happily takes it.

Barbie also has a boyfriend now. They’re not really in love (Gloria doesn’t know this) and it’s more of a publicity stunt her manager gave her. She’s not a fan of it but she goes along with it because she has no other choice.

Barbie and Gloria get closer and hang out a ton. They have a lot of sleepovers at Barbies fancy place together and just talk and spill their problems to each other. They’re practically best friends and they both secretly want to be more than that.

One night, Barbie takes Gloria out for drinks. She gets pretty drunk and spills a lot of stuff that she shouldn’t and Gloria comforts her. Somewhere along the way they end up kissing and Gloria freaks out, thinking Barbie’s relationship with her boyfriend is actually serious so she leaves.

Then the next day it’s announced Barbies boyfriend left her and it’s everywhere on the news. It’s not pretty.

Barbie is more upset about the fact she lost Gloria but she is also a wreck about that. She’s performing badly and her manager is pissed at her (he sucks in general).

Things just go badly until Gloria stands up for Barbie against her manager and tells him off. Barbie asks Gloria to talk to her and Gloria is a little wary but agrees. So Barbie asks her to come with her to a fancy event.

They go together and talk things out and become friends again. A few people ask if they’re a couple and after the third time of being mistaken for a couple, they just say yes.

Maybe there’s some dance scene because those are incredibly necessary, and maybe they kiss during it. Maybe they go home together and everything is perfect again.

Soon enough, the news is completely focused on Barbie, the star, and her girlfriend Gloria, the upcoming actress

[billpottsismygf]

Episode 7 (The Very Long Stairway)! I didn't put it in my last review, but I had a strong feeling we were going to get a flashback to the start of Edwin and Charles' relationship in this one. I had wondered if it would start with it, Good Omens style, so when it didn't happen immediately I thought maybe I was wrong. I was vindicated, however! And I love the use of the Night Nurse's already established powers as a framing device for it. I got so into what was happening, though, that I forgot that was how it started and was surprised when the camera panned to her watching everything.

So, oh my god, Edwin sat and talked with Charles as he died!!!! Edwin is so incredibly kind to him and it's heartbreaking that he knew this boy was going to die in front of him, and decided to make sure he had the most calming death possible. And Charles instantly decided to stay with him. I think it's very telling that he latches onto Edwin so quickly. Charles is someone who values kindness and helping people - he literally just died because he saved another boy from being bullied - so when he understands what Edwin did for him, he knows this is a person to hang onto.

I had wondered for a while if Charles had been the one to rescue Edwin from hell, given that they met 30 years ago, the same time he got out of hell. Turns out that no, Edwin had already just got out of hell by himself, but this was still a really satisfying flashback. Speaking of their relationship, we also finally got the love confession. I really didn't want Edwin to say anything, but it went about as well as it possibly could have. Still, gah, reeling from the secondhand embarrassment and the fact that this is not the time, Edwin! I was about to be so annoyed if the thing 'worse than a demon' had caught them because they spent so long dawdling on the staircase.

The scenes in hell themselves were really effective. Loved the page ripping punishment, very Sisyphean, and in fact the entire scene that followed with Simon was so touching I had to watch the whole thing again immediately. He was a stupid boy who didn't know what he was doing, and their reconciliation reminded me a bit of Pat forgiving the boy who shot him in Ghosts. Anyway, it seems that everyone has a crush on Edwin apart from the one boy he wants. Still, Edwin and Simon reconciling and Edwin telling him that 'if you punish yourself enough, everywhere becomes hell' but that being queer doesn't have to be a punishment, was incredibly moving. Again, Edwin has empathy for him and shows him kindness.

Relatedly, I also loved the scene with Despair. The moment she came on screen, even with her face obscured, I realised who she was. She barely features in Sandman, far less than Death anyway, but I recognised her instantly. Obviously I'm intrigued about the whole 'I'll call you if ever I need you' thing, but for the purposes of this episode I really love how that scene solidified the importance of Edwin having compassion. Edwin can be very bitchy (which I love him for), and he had every right to be mean to the boy who sent him to hell, but he chose kindness instead.

Conversely, Crystal got to choose violence and I love that for her. It was very satisfying seeing her literally get to bury David. It's fitting, as well, that David once overpowered her mind and now she's using her mind to overpower him. It is, of course, 'bad for the tree' if he stays there long, so I wonder if we'll see repercussions from that further down the line.

What else? Oh, the opening scene! The Cat King is such an interesting figure. He's creepy in the way he pursues Edwin, but it feels like they're on slightly more level ground now. He's a wild card character who's not exactly a villain, but will always act in his own interests. I'll be interested to see where his character goes from here, especially now it's been established that he's less powerful than Esther. His line about how strong and great Edwin is and who does Esther think she is trying to beat him, while obviously a problem in terms of giving her ideas, was also interesting in its own right. He clearly knows a fair bit about Edwin and genuinely thinks highly of him. Until this point we've only really seen him interacting with Edwin, where he taunts him the whole time, so this has made me all the more intrigued and invested in him.

Small things:

Edwin explaining to Charles that he doesn't fall through the floor because of the vague and weird ghost rules once again gave me strong Ghosts vibes.

I continue to love Mick, so really hoping he'll be okay after his confrontation with Esther.

Maxine in hell was interesting! I thought we'd learn more about her after her death, but it was a very fleeting appearance.

I thought Jenny might actually learn about ghosts and demons and psychics (oh my), but it seems not, alas.

Simon got a blue light after Edwin left, so does that mean Death came to him? Can people in hell get closure from unfinished business and move on? Or is it something Edwin specifically is good at doing for people?

Monty's still around and doing Esther's bidding! Someone turn him back into a human, please! Maybe Crystal?

I loved Niko getting to save the day (for now) through the power of reading comprehension!

[chaneajoyyy]

Just watched top gun maverick…… and whooo Chile. Any fics for any of them and a poc or black reader?

You know it! @leahnicole1219

TOP GUN FANFICITON (!black reader or !poc reader)

BRADLEY "ROOSTER" BRADSHAW

"you know what i need in my life is to run and jump iinto bradley bradshaws arms to kiss him like he's gets back imma sprint"- @inkdrinkerworld

"he met me in my im going to stay single phase & now i'm obsessed with him (!au)- @deanscroissant

hit the hard deck series- @purplelily247

crush (bradley x black!oc), good wife (x!blackoc)- @dulcewrites/@dulcelibra

"he puts on such a hard front but he's a total pleaser in the bedroom. he'll go all out if you're having a hard day and not ask for anything in return, no matter how much you insist it'll make you feel even better, the rooster and i series- @princessphilly

LT JAKE "HANGMAN" SERESIN

call me jake series, watermelon sugar, hangman is secretly possessive and loves leaving marks everywhere he can especially if he sees someone else flirting with his girl, Can I request a soft moment between Hangman and the girl he is seeing?, thinking about calling him daddy for the first time. Like, it just slips when you’re begging him to touch or fuck you and the man goes feral., ohhhhh Hangman finally getting with the girl of his dreams but she’s not convinced he actually likes her because she’s heavier and he’s carved like a greek statue, so he spends the night proving to her just how much he’s attracted to her, i know you wanted smutty but I’ve been feeling really blah lately so if you could hit me with some humor fluff maybe slight smut? With rbf reader who is blunt saying 10) “Look, I’m not into choking but I wouldn’t mind if you grabbed me by the neck every once in a while.” To hangman while playing pool just completely shocking him, going off the thought that Hangman has a classic sailor pinup on his thigh... Could we please have some Hangman tattoo worship please?- @princessphilly

mrs. seresin- @afictionalwhor3

jake's love language, cowboy's date with a georgian (xblack!oc), wet dreams, texas roadhouse, jade, alien storytime (another world series) - @entertainmentgirl80

"hello hello my love <3 I thought maybe I could request something where reader has never really been comforted when crying throughout her life but one time Jake walks in on her crying and just comforts her. She doesn’t expect that and it’s all just a bunch of fluff! I love your writing so much thank you for putting your work out for people to enjoy <3- @inkdrinkerworld

you're pretty, so happening, you're alive, trip to the bahamas no fuck that series- @itsthestutterforme

LT RUBEN "PAYBACK" FITCH

"we neverrrr talk about Payback. Tell me about what happens when Reuben takes a girl out on their first date. Since I'm feeling all mushy."- @princessphilly

LT JAVY "COYOTE" MACHADO

"just wanna share sime little thots on Javy but damn does that man look like he gives such good head. He's reserved but when its behing closed doors that mouth can do anything you want ((but you'll have to ask niceky first)) 🥴", "thots on Coyote and pussy worship?"- @princessphilly

daylight, pie, cancelled flights and beignets- @siempre-bucky

if it's worth your time series, promise this ain't a test, i did what i had to do, for better days, how sweet it is...- @coyotesamachado

flight scare- @words-4u

pie- @siempre-bucky

LT BILLY "FRITZ" AVALONE

***

LT MICKEY "FANBOY" GARCIA

what happens when mickey grows his hair out... - @siempre-bucky

take me by the heart, take me by the hand- @rae-gar-targaryen

warped series (with jake seresin)- @anjaelle

ROBERT "BOB" FLOYD

sundress season, bob is a freak in the bedroom, good girls do, bob and his good girl's wedding night, "anything you got for rooster i'll take it...literally anything but like him on the beach playing touch football" - @princessphilly

white christmas (spy/the americans au)- @dulcewrites

morning showers, koko's and bobby's sexy time, koko's insecurities, expecting again koko's & bobby's special day, koko's special valentine's, - @entertainmentgirl80

the new girl, i think you're cute- @ladyelissarose

might be an understatement- @friendlyneighborhoodchaosdemon

***LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY !BLACK READER OR !POC READER FIC WITH THESE CHARACTERS HIT MY LINE!!!***

[kissochako]

𝐆𝐘𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

summary: dabi/touya and kirishima have a crush on you but it’s in a gym setting

tags: fem!reader for ejiro, gn!reader for dabi, a twinge of jealously and I’m sorry this isn’t my best work and idrk how a gym works LOL

EJIRO KIRISHIMA

Ejiro is a professional personal trainer as a side job to earn some savings while on break from school, and he loves his job. He loves helping people train to be at their peak physique, or help them beat their own personal records. It fills him with joy seeing the excitement on people’s faces when they realise they’ve gotten stronger, agile or being able to endure more, all thanks to him.

He has had plenty of clients before, from those who didn’t believe in themselves, or others thought it was genetically impossible to achieve their goal physique. Yet, he still managed to help all of them. His co-workers believed that he was a literal miracle worker, but he just thought that he was just extremely good at his job.

Turns out, he is not. He has been away in the staff retreat, apparently ‘gathering needed equipment’. The cutest girl he has ever seen in his life who’s currently training for a provisional license, wants him!! To be her!! Own personal trainer?? He’s excited by the thought, but dreads having to talk to her. What if he ends up getting her exercises wrong and ends up injuring her? What if he just stutters the whole time and she thinks he’s some type of fraud? There’s a million scenarios running through his mind, overpowering his mind.

However, no matter how high his anxiety levels are, he needs to go out there and just casually converse with the girl who he plans to make his girlfriend, hopefully. Eventually. Maybe? Whatever, he just needs to go out there and help his client. It’s his job and he’s good at it.

He sees you in the personal trainer assigned area, but instead of going back through the door, he continues to walk whilst taking deep breaths. Everything will be okay, she may be cute, but she’s just like any other ordinary girl. This is what he tells himself, internally, he thinks you are the most extraordinary girl to ever grace his not so extraordinary with your presence.

He apologises for the inconvenience of equipment being misplaced, even though he knows that all the equipment is kept in the same place. Then the session starts. He is his usual self during his job, supportive, encouraging and guiding his clients.

Though the session itself is unlike the ones he’s had before. Most of the time, his clients are middle aged ladies or gym bros that are struggling to put on muscle in a certain area. He doesn’t really engage in conservation with them, but you’re his exception. You’re hilarious, full of enthusiasm and determination to get your licence. Oh boy, Ejiro just can’t stop adoring you in his mind, planning to gush to his best friend about you.

You guys talked non-stop, about heroics classes, who’s the better hero, exchanging future goals, memories and oh no. The session is way past the actual time that you’re supposed to finish. This means there’s probably an pissed off client who has waited at best, an hour. Unfortunately for the two of you, you guys had to wrap it up. Ejiro already misses your honey glazed voice and your infectious laugh. He plans to take a sip from his water bottle before taking on his next client but notices a yellow sticky note on it.

Call me xxx-xxx-xxx ♡!!!

TOUYA TODOROKI / DABI

Touya doesn’t go to the gym because he likes it, he goes there simply to build more muscle with all the equipment. In fact, he despises going to the gym. Sweat everywhere, weird animalistic grunts from everyone and unsolicited advice from gym amateurs. However, all of this changed when you started to go to the gym.

He didn’t mind the uncomfortable atmosphere of the one place he hated the most, all because he got to see you. You struggling to lift up what would’ve been Touya's warm up is so, so adorable to him. He arrives earlier at his gym sessions just to get that feeling of butterflies in his stomach as he witnesses your pretty face scrunch up as you attempt heavier weights and leaving way later so he could possibly talk to you and possibly make his first move.

But, there always has to be someone that stops him. Another weak gym amateur approaches you in hopes to get your number. He doesn’t worry about any of them obtaining your number, because he’s always there. A distance away, grimacing at his latest victim. However, whenever you turn around to see what they’re always staring at, he’ll make sure to display the most charming smile and captivating eyes. Of course, you’ll smile back yet instead of planning about his next move on you, he’ll daydream of seeing that smile when he wakes up in the morning.

He daydreams of everything that couples do, cuddling, baking or cooking together, slow dancing, feeding each other sweets, holding an umbrella for another, going on cute dates, annoying everyone with constant displays of affection, every scenario you could come up with, he’s fallen asleep to it with headphones blasting Arctic Monkeys. He usually hates anything and everything sappy, but oh boy, your endearing eyes and irresistible eyes have melted any logical thoughts he used to have.

Although, if he wants to make his fantasies into a reality, he really needs to actually talk to you instead of exchanging awkward dry feeble smiles every time you catch him staring at you. Touya isn’t the to act on impulse though, he has been precisely planning out what he’ll say in each scenario and has included every possible outcome.

When you’re just about to start your warm up, Touya approaches you. He comments that your footwork is good, but your upper body form needs to be worked on. Dumbfounded with the unsolicited advice, you still listen to what he says. Minutes, hours pass and what was once a lecture of the importance of good form turned to the two of you sitting around, jokes flying, laughter erupting and exchanging your progressive journey of working out. Touya notices you staring at him. He smiles. You smile.

[silviakundera]

Lighter and Princess ep 1

@dangermousie 's posts have seduced me and I always meant to get to this drama, because the lead actress is one of my cdrama crushes. So let's gooooooooooo

Holy shit, how are these the opening lines for a modern cdrama lmao

"Betrayers shall go to hell." / "Just consider me a betrayer. Anyway, it's not binding to me. It doesn't matter if I go to hell. I'm experienced." 😶

Ok but actually, the metal fence separating them, the wind in her hair, the way the field of dry grass matches his bad dye job. Captivating.

Mom starts nagging FL about marriage and all I can focus on is how beautiful her hair looks as it spills over her shoulder. Her pouty mouth 😩

Sorry ML I know your prison release is very poignant but still stuck on how perfect your once & future gf looks when eating cherry tomatoes.

ok ok I'm with u buddy. Setting things on fire on a rooftop at night. Dressing in all black, including long coat. Terse replies. Your goth stylings and soulless eyes are bewitching me, body & soul.

FL's first visit home is to a self-proclaimed 'vampire' friend with a fridge literally half-filled with booze. I can see why she's a girl that's hard to get over.

I'm guessing L&P CEO man is the villian and tbh he's got my respect by not sweating across the table from glowering feral mongoose in human form who seems one moment away setting that office aflame, just to feel something.

ah, the 3 were best friends in university! yep, the dude that didn't end up in prision or flee the country is DEFINITELY the villain.

yaaaassss "betrayers have to pay a price" Simple, vague, yet ominous. Like all threats should be.

awww I like his prison buddy. They shared the same cell and he managed to survive. He's totally foreseeing how intense his bro is gonna be about all this.

wow, flashback More Innocent Times FL was pretty intense herself about pyro boy.

who....is stalking her in the present? Or I guess not.

The fact that he actually came to collect his debts and demand money: based. I'm pretty sick of a 'the only thing I have is my pride, so I refuse all financial support from people who can easily afford it' protagonist.

She has no interest in art? HUH. I like that too. Goes against the 'cultured rich girl' cliche.

lmaooooooo band friend got her revenge by forcing ML to run into FL and bland painter boy.

Prison buddy ganking the check and booking it brings a sense of pride to ex-cons everywhere. Plus, I get the pleasure of FL's silky hair in the lamp light of the street corner she's slammed him into. 😍

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships why do I have a fixation for Emma out of all my ocs like what

Anyway since Emma isn’t a hellborn anymore here are some new head canons

Has never drank milk in her entire life I’m not even kidding

Cannot shit obviously

Eats twigs. You heard me.

I think she got suspended for defending herself against a bully and mal lost her shit. Context was the kid was trying to hit her but she stopped the hand and cracked the bones on their wrist. Mal pulled up defending her daughter as she should

Girlie eats metal

She doesn’t actually breathe

She doesn’t necessarily need sleep

I think while she and Theo were best friends in highschool they also had an academic rivalry

Emma, when she still doesn’t like Theo back, actually helped a girl friend of hers ask Theo out. She was very supportive of them and actually thought Theo would say yes bc she’s pretty

She has bodyguards everywhere, people at their own house serving her, millions of people worshipping her for some reason. She has not had a normal life. She’s a sheltered person, and she’s not going to understand that it’s hard surviving in hell at first.

Bad at driving but like..atleast it makes sense cause she’s been a passenger princess all her life unlike mal who’s just shit at it.

There are A LOT of people following her with their cameras every time she goes out. Literally. She could not go on a day without being photographed or asked questions

Swims with her dad’s sharks at the aquarium

iPad kid

Is actually very close with theo’s bandmates bc of the free pass on their concerts, Emma going straight to the backstage after it and meeting with Theo and his friends.. I think they’re all fond of her

Constant updates. Most of the time she’s in her dad’s lair getting her software upgrades or smth.

She’s a very busy woman. She’s a robot. Ofc she can handle multiple tasks at once.

There was a time where she was so busy with college that she didn’t show up to anyone.

She malfunctions when she has a big crush

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

hello hello hello Jalebi! And I’m sorry it was really weird of me to not say hello in my previous ask :((

In context with the same (ask), I really loved that you pointed out all the scenes with the song, and how it impacted the whole story build up. Yk, Before watching ipkknd, I went through a whole phase of watching the ‘realistic’ romance movies in Hollywood. The ones that make the viewers relate with the protagonists, because we’ve all been heartbroken in some point of our lives, and that all romances do not end up in happily ever afters. The before trilogy, 500 days of summer, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, normal people and many more. My perspective on love and romance changed completely over the past 2-3 years, and it kind of was good because I got familiar with the real picture. (I grew up watching bollywood films and read wattpad as a teenager, which was obviously, really like a strawberry-duniya) But now, I’m finding myself again going back to my childhood dreams and fantasies, like love is ‘meant to be’, or ‘true romance is aided by the divine’, ‘the red string theory’ and something of that sort. I’m scared that this might end up making me feel that ‘realistic love’ is inadequate. I have fallen in love with the way romance and love has been portrayed in ipkknd, and I don’t think i am getting over it anytime soon.

Hello hello,

Omgh Anon please don't worry - I wasn't in the best mood either!

Ok, time for Jalebi to crack her knuckles and give a drop of two of reality sweetness and advice.

Romance is really about the way you feel. The way you imagine it to be. There's nothing ever right or wrong about the way romance works because there's no one way to define this notion of romance.

You see the best way to understand this is to really understand the way IPK showed how Arnav and Khushi experienced romance.

For Khushi always believed in what films and books sold her - she believed romance to be flowers, stars, seeing the person everywhere and so on and so forth. Thus when she fell for Arnav, she literally felt all this because this is how she was conditioned and believed romance would be.

Arnav, pragmatic in nature, truly never believed in the commercialized version of romance. What he did believe in was care being romance. He did NOT believe in Anjali's definition of romance. What he did believe is what he saw between Anjali and Shyam. The fact that his sister, so deep in love, cannot function if her beloved is in danger. She has a strong physiological response to Shyam. And Arnav does believe Anjali loves Shyam and vice versa. He does not believe love making the heart go fast, but he is aware of how an extreme emotion can affect the body. So the night he understands love (which he has been questioning for some time now) he realizes his care for Khushi was exaggerated, he collapsed at the thought of her harm and his extreme physiological reaction - racing heartbeats to restlessness - it's all due to and for Khushi, leaves him in a sombre realization.

The point here being you can never point out which version of romance is more accurate cause even if fiction, people feel love differently even for the most basic things.

If you are a romantic at heart and now believe larger than life things - from fate to God - play a role at romance, then even the most realistic thing like the person you like dabbing away your snotty nose during a cold will feel like the MOST romantic thing in the planet. You will see fate in this, you will feel the violins.

But if you're a realist at heart, then even at the most GRAND entry of your crush - helicopter and all - you will see the smallest things that matter to you. Such a small smile your hero throws your way before he goes for his day.

What we must understand though is that situations don't lead to love. Your feels and circumstances are two very separate things. I, at one point, used to believe that "Oh I'd get great love only if I go through the intense difficulty and push pull and fight with destiny"

Now that is a problem because a lot of the circumstances in IPKKND are best left to fiction. If realistic love doesn't appeal to you on screen - totally makes sense, heck I'm always down for grander schemes of love ON screen.

But in real life, it's really the realistic love that leaves you with the joy the grander shows love. It's the green flags, the safety, security and just goodness of it all that's really appealing.

Trust me when I say this, an honest intelligent conversation has had my heart racing faster than being backed into a wall 'a la Khushi'.

And the human mind is such, it can frame events into your head based on your definition of romance.

If I'm a hardcore romantic, then I will find divinity in reality and if I'm a realistic I will find realism in divinity. Because when I'm liking someone, I'm trying to find WHAT appeals to me.

And one really important thing to realize is that fate does NOT dictate one to be in your life when they're causing you grief. IPKKND is written as a romance that was not meant to have happened.

If you get an ASR - run. If you get a Khushi - run as well. One is too egoistic and the other is too idealistic.

Also realism does not mean passionless or things not being fated. It just shows you multiple other perspectives can happen. Yes, there's a certain escapism in these fantasy stories, but I also believe remarkable things can happen to absolutely ordinary people as well.

And you don't have to get over IPKKND at all - enjoy the vibes, enjoy the feels. Don't idealize the situations that Arnav and Khushi faced to get to love, but definitely idealize the power in their love.

Love's power is universal.

Love love love,

Jalebi

P.S: Talking about realism, it is interesting to note that the second time Khushi actually falls for Arnav (not infatuation) is when the littlest things happen.

A box of bangles cause her previous one broke, assisting her in serving the guests cause the waiters ditched on her, or simply telling her that the saree she chose first was the better one.

Nothing remarkable at ALL and this is as realistic as love gets, and as beautiful too.

The grand gestures of dance, kiss and mehendi's 'A' make her uncomfortable. His soft smile and showing up, personally, to her house in the morning is what touches her.

[rosewould]

wingless angel; dsc

act i | act ii | final act 1k celebration masterlist

pairing; fuckboy!winwin x afab!reader

words; 7.2k

genre; estabished relationship, college au, ANGST, smut

warnings; DUBCON, toxic relationship, manipulation, sex in a theater, slut shaming (like actually), piv, getting caught, Sicheng is just really nasty okay

preface; this was hard to write, I feel so bad for MC. act iii will be less depressing I promise.

act ii ➻ in my head 

Your silence was going on for far too long. Any longer and the only explanation would be you hiding or realizing something. It was a little bit of both. Why did you like Dong Sicheng?

Sicheng was one of those people who were cool in high school and college, when the average person cared less about how they were perceived. At least a little. You were no longer sweating in the middle of history class, surrounded by giggling popular kids and stressing about whether your limbs looked awkward. You weren’t an idiot, though. You realized that you were on the ground, along with the majority of the students on campus. Sicheng and everyone he associated with? Leisurely floating among the sun and the clouds, not even sparing a glance at anyone below.

All your life you felt insignificant. Like you could scream and no one would hear a sound. It never bothered you until it came to crushes, and walking into your university’s orientation gave you one of the most debilitating crushes yet. 

There he was, vibrating at a different frequency. By this time, every crush would notice your eyes boring into the side of their head. Not Sicheng. He had never looked at you once throughout your first year. Your crushes didn’t last long. They’d end up angry about your constant staring and chew you out, or their friends would tease them into declaring their disdain for you. All of your crushes came crashing down in a huge fire, ending with you sobbing alone in your bedroom. With Sicheng it was strangely quiet. 

Your second year, you got into a relationship with Kun. It distracted you for a moment. You quickly realized you’d receive no affection there. The summer after, you broke up with Kun. It was messy and draining. You felt like a zombie. Waking up at three in the afternoon, going to the library, staying there until it closed.

One night, you happened to glance to your right. That’s when you finally caught his eyes. You were locked into his gaze as he flashed you a smile. 

“Hey.” Sicheng whispered, propping his head up with his palm.

“Hey.”

You looked calm, but you felt like you were floating. You must’ve had dark circles accompanied by some pretty defined bags, but that didn’t matter. He saw you. He was talking to you. That night was the first of many where you were shoved into a bookcase in the back corner of the library with Sicheng’s hungry lips everywhere your skin was exposed. You had new marks to show off daily. Kun’s disgusted glare at you from across the lecture hall was just a bonus. His words rang in your ears.

“Have you no respect for yourself?”

Sicheng let the wings Kun continuously clipped flourish. He changed you for the better. The sad part was that people didn’t understand that.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. He’s good to me.”  You say, exasperated. They clearly stated this wouldn’t be an intervention.

“…Does he?” Aeri questions, skepticism evident on her face. With your body language growing more closed off by the second, she’s quick to expand on her question. “Sicheng is infamous for treating his girlfriends like shit.”

“That may be true, I’m not denying that, but who’s to say he hasn’t changed?” You cringe as soon as the words leave your mouth. You sound like every human who’s ever been in denial of their toxic relationship. 

“I am. I am to say. Bro, he literally has a pattern of behavior. It’s not that he just vaguely treats them badly. First, he only goes for virgins. You know for a fact that’s a waving red flag.” Jimin speaks up, twice as annoyed as you are. Not an intervention your ass. You were supposed to watch a movie, are you a TV all of a sudden?

“Second, he always coerces them to fuck and makes a big deal out of “taking their innocence”. That’s waving red flag number two. Are you seriously not seeing these?”

“Woah, there was no coercion! It was a consensual exchange!” It’s not the most graceful, but you manage to avoid the question. No amount of beating around the bush could stop the question from seeping into your subconscious. 

“Oh god, so you guys already had sex?” Minjeong whispers before they all give you a look of uneasiness. You groan.

“Yes! We, two consenting adults who have been in a relationship since the summer had sex! What’s so bad about that?” You erupt, defending yourself like a cornered defenseless animal.

“You really wanna know?” Jimin grits her teeth, becoming visibly restless. 

“Jimin…” Minjeong rests her hand on her leg and pleads with her eyes. Jimin can’t see any of the three pairs of eyes begging her to be merciful, though.

“No, I wanna know. I asked, didn’t I?” You push hesitantly. Jimin is a friend, but you’ve seen what her words have done to others. Never would you have thought she’d aim at you. She wouldn’t…

“Fine. You wanna be stubborn? I can force you to see the reality of the situation-”

“Just say it already!”

“Why else would Sicheng choose you?!” Jimin shouts. Your mouth falls open, feeling as if her words knocked the wind out of you. The other three quickly work to patch up the wound she left behind.

“Jimin! What the hell?” Says Aeri before rushing to your side, pushing Jimin to the end of the couch.

“She didn’t mean that…” Minjeong soothes in a hushed voice.

“I think what she meant to communicate was that Sicheng was preying on… he was using how you see yourself against you.” Yizhuo attempts to cautiously diffuse the situation. You laugh dryly. All this time you thought your friends just happened to be much prettier than you are. Now you’re witnessing how they’ve always seen you. 

“I-I’m gonna go.” You say shakily, standing from the couch. Everyone except Jimin tries to convince you to stay.

“Let me guess, you’re going to see him.” Jimin shakes her head at you. You don’t even spare her a glance.

“Haven’t you done enough?” Aeri glares at Jimin before looking back at you. “Please sit down, she should’ve never said that.”

“Go ahead! Keep babying her. See where it lands her.”

As tears threaten to spill you try to leave before you let her see you cry.

“Wait!” Minjeong grabs your arm. “Please, just hear us out. We only want what’s best for you.”

You pause before slipping your arm from her grasp. Staying there felt like a constant reminder of how you’ve been seen all your life. As you open the door Jimin yells after you one last time.

“At least answer this. Does he take you out on nice dates? Buy you nice things? Hell, does he even fucking compliment you? If not, how is he making you feel good?”

“H-he… of course he does!” You turn back, only to be faced with four rounds of skepticism. 

“If the only way he makes you feel good is physical, you’re not his girlfriend. You’re a sex doll.”

Like pulling away from a fire before it scorches you, you retreat, slamming the door behind you.

What was the goal of that exchange? To make you feel like shit? To show you how pathetic they think you are? How could they, people you considered your friends?

As soon as Sicheng knocks on the door, you swing it open and rush to wrap your arms around him. You sob into his chest, waiting for the warmth of his embrace to consume you so you could distract yourself. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Fuck, his voice is so dry. In your frustration, all you can focus on is the rain pouring down beyond the eaves of your house. The overwhelming smell of drenched Earth and the dreary skies beyond Sicheng’s shoulders keep pulling you back to reality. 

“My friends, they… really hurt me today.” You say quietly, feeling embarrassed of your overwrought emotions now. He pushes you away to smile down at you. 

“Who cares what they think, remember?”

The guilty feeling in your chest was still there from the first time you said it, but it was fading quickly. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Good, now get dressed, I’m taking you out.”

A wide grin spreads across your face.

-

“Babe! Hurry up!” Sicheng whines, drawing out each word unnecessarily like a child. You giggle, watching yourself in the mirror as you apply the finishing touches to your makeup. You smile at your reflection, finally satisfied enough to show him.

“Okay! I’m done.” You yell as you open your bedroom door. Your lip quivers as you wait for his reaction. He glances over with a smile to match the one you failed to contain. You feel light fill your chest. 

“I thought maybe you took too long, but we could probably sneak in a quickie and be on time.”

Your smile fades a bit more noticeably than you’d like. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks from the couch. You shrug, feeling stupid now. “Come on.” He says with a leery look. “Tell me.”

“It’s just… do you like it…” Your voice is so quiet it’s almost inaudible.

“What, how you look?” The way he asks makes your expression sour further. Flat, no emotion. Almost like he was annoyed by being asked to consider your efforts. “Why? Did you wear this for me?”

You nod sheepishly. He exhales slowly through his nose before beckoning you closer. When you’re in reaching distance he pulls at the hem of your dress. “This is perfect.” He smirks before biting his lip. You smile back, a thank you right on the tip of your tongue before he speaks again.

“Easy access…” He trails off before flipping your dress up and revealing your lacy underwear. You gasp, pulling the fabric from his fingers.

“What pretty underwear.” He chuckles, pulling you onto his lap. Your heart is racing, and not because he’s being crude or getting you aroused. You’re completely, and utterly embarrassed. Every second you spent in your room agonizing over what clothes to wear and how much makeup to apply, you spent thinking of him. And all he’s worried about is how easy it’ll be to fuck you. 

Swallowing down the lump in your throat, you consider his side. The two of you haven’t seen each other over the entire weekend since he was out of town. He’ll be back to normal after you have sex. Back to what you usually do…

“Babe.” Sicheng snaps you out of your thoughts. “Let’s just go now, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

He holds you by your waist, stopping to look closer at your face. You stare back confusedly. “D’you have on makeup?”

Look at you, jumping to conclusions and doubting your boyfriend. He’s taking you on a date for god’s sake. And now he’s recognizing the effort you put in for him. In his defense, maybe he couldn’t see from afar.

“Yeah, do you like it?” You ask hopefully, prying your heart to the over-exposed state it’s usually in.

“I mean, it’s fine, but we’re going to the movies. It’s gonna be dark.” He chuckles, looking at you like a silly child. He pats your ass before maneuvering you off of him. 

“Let’s go.”

-

You were lost in thought the entire car ride. At least you were actually seeing a movie like you were promised. You fidget with your phone in your lap, popping it in and out of its case.

 Couldn’t he at least have told me I looked pretty?

The thought brought about a tightness in your chest. You force yourself to look out of the window, trying to distract yourself from the rising unease.

“Are you okay?” Sicheng turns down the radio, removing a layer of distraction. You wouldn’t be able to stabilize your trembling voice so you just nod. He’s quiet for a moment, leaving the volume lowered to cause you just that much more suffering. 

“Hey, uh, I forgot to tell you! I was talking to a couple girls last week,”

You could feel spite gnawing at your brain. Why must he insist on being so oblivious to how he makes you feel? Him being utterly dense was the favorable answer as opposed to something more purposeful. But that’s downright depraved, and it’s silly to even consider that. What would he gain?

A sex doll.

The thought flares up your anxiety tenfold. You hurriedly roll the window down and gasp in the air. 

“They told me how good we looked together. You know, as a couple?”

You slowly turn to face the windshield before turning again to look at your boyfriend. He looks back at you, face painted in confusion.

“Her friend said she was jealous of what we have.” He raises his eyebrows with a smirk before concentrating on the road. You expected to see him crack an amused smile at that assertion. You wouldn’t blame him, you felt the same way. The devastating realization came when you were standing together in the mirror, checking out your matching costumes. He didn’t comment on it, but it was so obvious. Next to him, it was much more apparent just how unexceptional you were. It was like the main character standing next to an extra.

“Girls from our university said that?”

Sicheng laughing at your confusion rather than the statement about your relationship wasn’t adding up in your brain. 

“Yeah. Why not?”

What were you going to do, tell him you thought the two of you didn’t match? All that would do is reveal your poor self-esteem. It’s pitiful, and would probably make him uncomfortable.

“Oh, nothing. That’s really sweet.” You say with phony nonchalance. 

“It really is. It’s about time people start acknowledging how awesome we are.” He’s smug about it, but it was doing it for you. You smile over at him and he smiles back.

So when you get to the theater, you’re not pissed off that his hand makes its way under your skirt. You don’t scold him as he fucks his fingers into you. And you allow him to pull you onto his lap. You ignore that this was the reason you sat in the very back corner.

“Look at you,” He grunts in your ear as he haphazardly pushes your panties to the side. “being so nasty for me.” 

You’ve been worked up since he said that in the car. His teasing didn’t make it any better.

“You’re so worked up already. Should I pull over? Nah, I think I should make you wait.”

And he was true to his word, no matter how much you begged him to at least let you grind against his palm. So you were letting him fuck you in public. If only Kun could see you now. The thought makes you clench down on him.

“Fuck- baby. You’re gonna make me cum. Why are you being so obscene, hm?” He digs his fingers into your bare thighs as his hips snap against you. You bite your lip, grinding down to meet his thrusts.

“You make me so horny.” You whimper pitifully before leaning your head back against his shoulder. You can feel his cock twitch inside you after saying that. He’s always loved when you admit how much you want him to fuck you. The effect is stronger whenever it comes packaged with a little shame, which is why you expected something along the lines of his next words.

“Do you have no shame?” He growls into your ear. That word choice, however, was not at all what you expected. You gasp louder than you intend, hips bucking into the air as you clench your thighs. A couple moviegoers turn, their faces morphing in disgust or surprise once they see you squirming in his lap. They all whisper, some quickly averting their eyes while others enjoy the show. “Baby, look at what you’re doing.” He whispers as if he himself is appalled.

The shame comes crashing over you like a ton of bricks. Your face is red hot and you hide your face in his neck. Still, you don’t stop. Your relationship with Kun would’ve made you think you could never handle being humiliated, let alone be aroused by it. Your experience with him solidified that you thrived off of affection and unconditional love only. But with how wet you are around his cock, that can’t be right.

You whine, whimper, and groan as you fuck yourself on his cock. “I-I just wanna make you feel good.” You sob before a chorus of short, soft gasps erupt from your throat. You’re so close.

“I can’t believe you’re about to cum in front of all these strangers.” He keeps up his dismayed act, even as he lewdly rubs your clit. Pushing your thighs apart so he can vigorously stroke it from side to side. There’s no way most of the theater can’t hear how wet you are. “Is this who you are? My baby’s a filthy whore.” His voice wavers. His thrusts are more sporadic and you can tell he’s about to cum inside you in the theater. It’ll probably drip onto the seats.

“You’re really okay with me filling you up? Here? Baby…”

“No! W-we’ll make a mess-”

“But a girl like you is okay with that, right?”

“No… I’m a good girl.” You say almost inaudibly.

“Hm… okay, princess.” He says reassuringly. For a second you calm down, slowly grinding against him, ready to pull off and finish this later. The movie’s almost over anyway. Then Sicheng grips your hips harshly. His breath is erratic as he bucks into you. The lewd moan that sounds next to your ear tips you off to what’s about to happen. Before you could voice your protests, he fills you up, his skin slapping against yours loudly as he does. The shock brings you down from your high fast. You have that same feeling when he flipped your skirt up in your living room. 

Complete and utter embarrassment. And there was nothing sexy about it now. You gasp as you clench your legs together. You work fast to pull him out of you and fix your underwear. You stand up and whip around, inspecting the seat. He chuckles at you and you look at him in disbelief.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” As he speaks, his amusement diminishes and is replaced with that familiar brand of annoyance he gives you. You want to berate him, tell him how stupid it is that he doesn’t know what’s wrong. You want to storm out and catch an uber home. Then it hits you. You did this to yourself. 

Weren’t you just the one riding him where people could see? Continuing when you knew they were looking? As the memory of people reacting to you floods your brain, the shame racks through you like lightning. 

The lights come up and people in the theater start leaving their seats. To your horror, whistles and laughter start to fill the theater. You turn to see men making lewd gestures at you and clapping at you with debauched looks on their faces. The women either laugh at you or scowl at you in disgust. Your heart sinks as you watch them with dread in your eyes.

When you feel Sicheng’s arm around you, you shrink into him, wishing his figure could somehow cover you up completely. He walks you out of the auditorium without a word. The pit of your stomach feels like it’s squeezing and turning. You feel afraid to look at him. You make it all the way out of the theater with no words. Maybe he really does think you’re disgusting. You wished you could say you didn’t feel the same.

The moment he lets go of you to get in on the driver’s side you feel cold. You keep your head down as you enter the car. As the door shut you feel like you can’t breathe. What if he decides that after what happened he doesn’t want anything to do with you?

Midway into the drive, you gather the courage to slowly peek over at him. He has a smile on his face, one that you’d go out of your way to describe as satisfied. You exhale slowly and sink into your seat. He peers over at you.

“You were great today.”

You feel your heart swell, you eat up every ounce of praise. Even when you weren’t as vulnerable as you felt now. 

“I fucking love when you get all insecure and defensive.”

This time you don’t make an effort to stop your face from falling. He couldn’t just let you have it. Have one moment you could cherish with your dear boyfriend. And could he hear himself? How could anyone say those words to someone they’re supposed to care so deeply about? It’s so unlike you to question him, but you just need to know.

“Why?”

Maybe it was the utter confusion apparent in your voice that made Sicheng frown. “Why? I don’t know… It turns me on.” It was apparently his turn to be defensive now. 

Sicheng’s arm around you made you feel secure, safe from the scrutiny and nauseating attention that made you feel like grimy trash. Now that you know he enjoyed seeing you suffer through that, it tainted the memory for good. You weren’t secure at all. If any of those men made an effort to try something, would your negative reaction arouse him?

“How… How is that arousing?” You ask in disbelief. You didn’t want to fight, but this admission from him was warping everything you thought you knew about him.

“Babe.” He says, throwing your disbelief back at you. “Come on. Everyone has kinks. Maybe it’s a little weird, but most kinks are! Plus, it’s not like you didn’t know.”

You snap your head in his direction, frantic eyes taking in the way his eyes roll at your bewilderment. “What?! You did know!”

“Knew how?” You want to shout at him, but you can’t muster the strength.

“Our first time together, your first time, I was pretty candid about what I liked. I slut shamed you and you seemed to like it, so what’s the problem here?”

“That’s different! You calling me a slut in the privacy of my bedroom and you getting turned on by me experiencing genuine shame while being watched and judged by strangers is wildly different!” You finally build the courage to scream at him. His silence makes you immediately regret it. He just watches the road, letting you suffer in silence while you try to decipher what he’s thinking.

“I can’t understand why you’re screaming. I misjudged the situation and made a mistake. I don’t think I deserve to get reamed for that.” He muttered. This is the first time you’ve seen the annoyance overtake him. It makes the feeling that you're being unreasonable overtake you.

“I-I’m sorry-”

“We’re here.”

The car halts in front of your house. You didn’t know how to tell him or if you should, but you didn’t want to leave.

“Can…” You start, feeling hopeless before you even get the words out. You sigh and shut your eyes. “Can you come in with me.” You ask apprehensively. It’s clear through your voice that you already expect him to say no, but after you got it out of the way you felt a bit of relief. The thought of going upstairs and sleeping in a cold bed honestly scared you. Especially after your rollercoaster of emotions tonight. But that wasn’t going to happen. You were going to go up together and everything was going to be fine.

“No. You need some time to cool off.” 

His words linger in the air as a lump forms in your throat. The click of the door unlocking echoes in your mind. You sat on the end of your bed for hours, letting the TV play in the background so you felt less alone with your thoughts.

He’s angry at you. And it’s your fault. Your back started to ache from the awkward angle you sat in. More hours drag by as you lie on your bed and stare at the wall. What if he realizes you never deserved someone like him? Or if he never speaks to you again? You try to imagine your days without him and they feel empty and grey. 

It’s five a.m and you lug yourself to the bathroom. When you turn the light on you feel tears start to well. Look at you. This is what he’ll see when he looks back at photos of the two of you, deliberating on whether he should keep you around or not. Then he’d leave, and you’d be back to your old self.

What were you going to do?

-

Your dream was distressing enough. What stressed you out more was that you opened your eyes and someone was still yelling your name. Once you hear the loud knocks on your door, your eyes snap fully open. You stumble trying to step right into your slippers out of bed but push on. You recognize the voice by now. As you swing open the door all the worry that loomed over you immediately clears up.

“Sicheng, I’m so sorry.” You shout right out of the gate. 

“Where were you? I was calling and texting you all morning.” He looks upset, and maybe this was your brain on serotonin, but it seemed to be out of concern for you. 

“I was here, I uh… I slept in.” You don’t even bother checking the time or worrying about what you slept through. You’re just glad he didn’t leave you alone.

“Through your morning classes?” He asks skeptically.

“Yeah, missing one class isn’t the end of the world.” You shrug, still jittery from the high his presence gave you.

“You… weren’t with someone else?” He asks as he steps closer, looking down at you. You bite your lip and shake your head. 

“God, I’m so glad to see you.” The overwhelming urge to hug him takes over as you wrap your arms around his waist. He chuckles and kicks the door closed before hugging you back. You melt into his embrace.

That afternoon, the morning after, and the dawn of the next day you were all over each other. It felt like the beginning, when he would cover you in hickies and moan your name without actually having sex. Even now when you’re riding him like your life depends on it, he’s still managing to match your desperation. 

“You’re so good for me, gonna make me cum inside you again.” He mumbles against your lips as he squeezes your ass. He pulls you down hard, making his cock shoot deep inside you again. You fall forward onto his shoulder with a loud moan. Your hips kick forward and smear your combined fluids amongst both your upper thighs. Sicheng’s moans sound prettier than they’ve ever been. Your walls constricting around his shaft demonstrate just how much they’re affecting you. You’ve been grinding into his lap for two rounds now and you weren’t gonna keep it up for much longer. “My legs are getting tired.” You whine next to his ear. You hoped he’d just flip you around and take over, but you groan when he laughs.

“I know you have it in you. I can feel how turned on you are, just give it to me like I know you can.” He encourages mockingly, cooing and awing next to your ear. When you whimper he slaps your ass. It was harder than you expect and you hiss as the sting lingers. “Come on baby.” His voice deepens suddenly, making you squeeze again. Your hips stutter as you try to fight the exhaustion coming on. He tsks before sighing disappointedly. 

“You must be letting the slut out for someone else, huh?”

There goes that accusatory tone again. After what happened the night of the movie, you’ve felt less turned on by his taunting. You find yourself wondering if his affinity for your discomfort stops outside of sex.

You lean away, looking into his eyes with conviction and state loud and clear, “I’m not.”

He seems taken aback, but the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth suggests he’s still having fun. “Oh yeah? Your slutty pussy only gets wet for me?” He leans closer, goading you. You blindly fall for it.

“You're my boyfriend, why would I cheat on you?!” You raise your voice but he doesn’t flinch. His face is still close, in fact he gets closer. You think he’s gonna kiss you but he just continues this little game.

“Maybe I’m not enough to satisfy how loose you’ve become.” His straight face, save for the hint of disgust, made you feel he wasn’t just saying it because it turned him on. You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. The thought of disgusting him snuffed out your passion to challenge him. You didn’t want to drive him away. 

You might love him.

So you push aside your bruised ego and start riding him again. His face softens, lids lowering to watch you fuck yourself on him through his eyelashes.

-

“He was worried about me guys.” You beam, revealing the information as if it were grand. It was to you. Judging by their expressions, it wasn’t to them. 

“I would hope so. Your partner is supposed to care about you.” Aeri suggests carefully. You’re practically made of steel right now, so her words bounce right off of you. You’ve been through a lot these past two weeks. A lot of sex, and something new.

“Whatever, whatever. You know what else couples are supposed to do? Fight.”

“Just because he doesn’t fight with you doesn’t mean it’s a healthy relationship-”

“No, we didn’t fight before. We do now.” You bite your lip to contain your wide smile as you look at each girl. The three of them look at each other in curiosity before looking back at you.

“What do you fight about?” Yizhuo inquires, leaning forward. 

“Other men. Recently he’s been super worried about who I’m hanging out with. It all started after this small fight we had a couple of weeks ago. Do you think he’s worried I’ll move on?” You ask, but no one answers. They just silently pick at their small ceramic plates, light wind tossing their hair.

“I think I can understand why you think this is what love is,” Minjeong is downright clinical as she speaks to you. It bothers you. Is this because of what happened at Aeri’s house? “but that could easily be a sign that he’s possessive.”

“Or… that he doesn’t want you to find someone else to… you know.” Aeri interjects. You try to swallow down the sour taste in your mouth. “Because then he’d have to put effort into finding someone new.”

Yizhuo gasps, frail fingers covering her mouth as she looks at Aeri with concern. “The third stage. Jimin never said it.” You falter, eyes darting around the outdoor seating area. Maybe those words left a dent.

“I really don’t think that’s the case.” You don’t let the thought fester for a second. They just don’t get it. They don’t get him. “This salmon looks good though.” You dig into your food, ignoring the doubt emerging around you.

Sicheng doesn’t need anyone else and he damn sure doesn’t need to worry about your eyes wandering. You deliberated on how you could show him this. You already give him so much. The night after you both finished finals, you figured it out. Your one year anniversary was this summer and you wanted to shake things up a bit. You wanted him to relax and just let you take care of him. 

You were dressed in your prettiest baby blue lingerie. You layered a thin white robe over it so you could reveal yourself to him. You waited rather impatiently on the bed, fidgeting with anything you could get your hands on. He was late. Maybe he got busy. Maybe he didn’t care about your big surprise. 

Your ears perk up when you hear your front door open. You straighten out, settling into the sexy pose you practiced. When he calls your name you start to tremble with excitement. “In here!” You sing.

Sicheng slowly opens the door and immediately takes in your appearance. You take in his as well. His hair was actually styled. He usually went for a messy look and it looked great, but the way his hair was parted somewhat in the middle looked surprisingly better. He had a snazzy white collared shirt with long sleeves and a black pattern to match his black pants. 

“You look dressed up for something.” With sultry eyes, you make a show of checking him out. He smirks as he climbs over you onto the bed.

“I could say the same about you.” He says like he’s onto you. You crane your neck to brush your nose against his before capturing his lips. He starts raking his hands up your sides as he eagerly kisses you back. He pushes your robe up and freezes when he feels the fabric of your garter belt. “Oh?”

That wasn’t supposed to be how he found out, but you were getting lost in his lips. You pull away and slide from under his body. “There’s more to your outfit?” He raises his eyebrows. You settle onto your knees, tugging at your disheveled robe before readying your hands to untie it. 

“I wanted to do something special to show you that I’m yours.”

“Here, let me.” He reaches his hands forward but you turn away.

“You just lay back and let me take care of you.” You guide him to the back of your bed, pushing him lightly to lay his head on your pillows. You bite your lip as you straddle him. As you untie your robe and toss it away, you let your face express how aroused you were. How much you wanted to please him. 

His face is blank, the passion from moments ago suddenly missing. You reluctantly ignore that and grind down onto his crotch. “Tell me how you want it.” You say quietly as you unbutton his pants. Thinking back to your time with Kun, you thought it’d be impossible to do things like this. Aeri would talk about her experiences and the things she would do all the time. Each time, you couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of you doing any of that. Through getting to experience Sicheng, you opened up to the possibility of you being more sexual. 

You enjoy that feeling you get when you see him and know you’re about to have sex. That excitement coursing through your veins. The way your synapses fire when his skin touches yours. And the sex, you couldn’t get enough of it.

You loved sex. 

“I wanna show you how nasty I can get. Only for you.” You slip your hand under his boxers and fish for his cock. When you graze your hand over it, you realize it’s still soft. Not an ounce of life. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand away.

“What are you doing?” 

Your face slowly loses its expression as he gawks at you. All of the reasoning you came up with was nowhere to be found. What are you doing? You stammer, unsure if you should explain yourself or apologize. He sighs annoyedly before moving you off his lap. The air suddenly feels cold and you wrap your arms around yourself. You can’t muster the strength to turn around and see what he’s doing, but you can hear his footsteps thudding toward the door.

From behind you, his voice sounds.

“I’m going out. My phone’s gonna be off so don’t call me.”

Followed by a dull click and then another. 

You scramble off the bed to find your robe. On the way, you pass a mirror and reluctantly look at it. Look at you. You looked ridiculous. Cheap. You snatch the robe from the ground and hurriedly wrap it around you. You try to ignore how vivid the feeling of your lingerie pinching your skin is. It scrapes against you, rough and suffocating. 

You lie on your bed and stare at the wall. He’ll call in the morning like he did last time.

-

The next day

He probably got drunk and now he’s hungover. Or he’s passed out at a frat house. You opt to let him call or text you first. Did how confident you were to please him scare him off? Taking into account how he gets turned on when he shames you, perhaps he has trouble unpacking eroticism. 

Whenever he texts you, you’re more than willing to talk about it. In the meantime, you have to focus on your slipping grades.

-

Two days later

You decide to text him since he’s probably embarrassed. Something about what you did triggered something complicated inside of him. You’re sure of it. 

___: hey, do you want to maybe talk?

He doesn’t answer for a few hours, but that’s okay. He’s probably thinking just as hard as you are. You’ll stay home for the day so you don’t miss it. College can wait.

-

One week later

You stare down at the blue lingerie in the garbage can. You’re so fucking stupid. Why did you think he would like that? You’ve slept with him enough times to know what he likes. When you’re demure, it turns him on. Of course he wouldn’t like this. Stupid.

___: I know I’ve texted you a bunch, but I just want to know if you’re okay

You pound your fist against your head, further disturbing your knotty nest. So stupid.

-

Two weeks later

___: was this you?

You attach a photo of the note that was slid under your door. That was a dumb question. Of course it wasn’t him. Your friends had been frantically trying to contact you since you dropped out. Today is your last day in this apartment and you blocked their numbers, they won’t be able to judge you anymore. This must be one of their sad attempts to get in contact.

“Are you about ready? The truck will be here soon.” Kun shouts from your kitchen, voice echoing through the empty apartment.

“One sec.” You shout back as you open the unlabelled envelope, retrieving the note inside. You unravel the paper to see just one sentence.

“You’re making a mistake getting back with Kun.”

There was only one person that came to mind. You had cut off your other friends, but when it comes to Jimin it was more than that. She was dead to you. You shred up the envelope and paper, unsteady hands causing stray pieces to fall to the floor.

“What was that?” Kun asks as he walks into the living room with another box. When you feel satisfied, you stuff the shreds into a nearby garbage bag. You clench your jaw and dust of your hands.

“Nothing.”

-

A month and a half later

“Come out and eat. Laying there all day is unproductive.” He doesn’t even bother waiting for your response, just shutting the door again and leaving you in the dark. Your body feels heavy. Each time you think you can’t cry anymore, you prove yourself wrong. You smelled like shit. The worst part?

You couldn’t bring yourself to care.

-

A month later

As you get ready for another godforsaken dinner party, you find yourself staring in the mirror. It’s a miracle Sicheng even noticed you in the first place. You should be grateful for the months he spared you. And you are. You have fond memories. Maybe other people don’t see them as that, but they are. 

You lower your makeup brush as you attempt to reminisce. You try to find a memory that doesn’t make your stomach turn. A memory that isn’t tainted with red flags, ones you picked up on but ignored for your own sake. 

Sniffling, you clench your eyes shut. There isn’t a single one. Even the okay ones were predecessors to a fight or sex. You’re not even sure which one is worse anymore.

-

A week and five days later

Maybe it was for the best. You and Kun have been through this. It didn’t work the first time, why would it work now? You haven’t tried in a while…

___: I broke up with Kun

You try again after he doesn’t answer.

___: I wasn’t very happy with him anyway

___: not like how I was with you

___: he doesn’t touch me

Oh he would hate you saying that. What, did he think after fucking more than you spoke to each other that you wouldn’t get accustomed to it?

___: you made me like this

___: you’re not even man enough to come to talk to me

___: or even text?

___: you’re fine with just ghosting me?

___: how do you live with yourself?

You hurriedly wipe away the tears that dropped on your screen. Did he change his number? If so, why isn’t the new owner letting you know you’ve got the wrong person? Your texts must be getting lost in the mountains of texts he gets daily. It’s the only explanation logical enough to placate your anxiety. You don’t actually think he’s capable of being so wicked, but you’re so angry you can’t think straight. Is it really that hard for him to speak to you? Fuck, you really wanna hear his voice.

___: I love you Sicheng

You admit to him and yourself. The admission sends you spiraling. You drop your phone to the floor with a loud bang and collapse. You sob loudly into your hands. Against your better judgment, you imagine you’re in his arms and he’s shushing you. You can’t even properly materialize the fantasy. You have no reference. 

In a moment of weakness, you think back to what Jimin told you, and what she failed to tell you. You knew good and well that finding out the third stage could hurt you even further. You’re scared of what that may entail. But you still search for the nearest payphone to your parent’s house. If you were her, you wouldn’t answer if you saw your name pop up. You type in her number and wait as it rings.

The ringing ceases and it’s quiet for just a moment. 

“Hello?” Jimin’s voice is gruff. You look at the time on your phone. You probably woke her up.

“Listen, I know I have no right to call you after the fight a month or so ago, but I just need to know.” You rush out as your voice trembles.

Jimin lets out a frustrated sigh. “Know what.”

“The third stage.” You say apprehensively. Jimin lets the conversation hang in silence long enough for you to realize you stopped breathing. Your heart beats in your ears as she clears her throat.

“Thought you found that out on your own already.”

“I… I didn’t-”

“He likes to watch women fall prisoner to lust, to watch as he chips away at their innocence. The problem is that once he chips it all away, there’s no putting it back.”

You feel like your body is physically rejecting her words. You shake your head, shaking loose all the tears welling in your eyes. “No that’s not true-”

“He got bored of you after you stopped behaving the way he wanted.” She says, frustration reaching its peak. Words fail to enter your brain. The silence only lasts a short while before Jimin hangs up the phone. 

You can’t stop yourself. You weren’t going to stop fretting over it until you know for sure. After you type in the next number you feel numb as it rings. You pray and pray that a stranger picks up. The ringing stops quicker than you expect. You hear music and a familiar laugh before an amused–

“Hello?”

You wait, registering his voice as he repeats himself and asks if someone is there. He mumbles something before the call cuts out. You turn and leave the dark alley, arms swinging limply by your sides. The head and taillights of cars that whiz by and stores that are still open light up your empty eyes. As you stare out into nothing, your phone buzzes. You slowly lift it into view, staring at the sole notification on your cracked screen.

Sichengie 💞: I don’t

➻ end of act ii

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes: This is NOT part one of chapter seven. As a reminder, we've switched to weekly teasers for each chapter.

If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop and start by reading chapter one. 

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. Ryan Wilder had just about everything taken from her when we met her, and she was doing her best to get it back. In this version of the story, that means taking some people down along the way. And, she's definitely no hero.

Hopefully you're recovered from chapter 6, and ready for our season finale. I'll try to hold you over with out of sequence and context teasers while I wrap this up. See you next Friday for teaser 2 for chapter 7.

CHAPTER SEVEN SNEAK PEEK

TUESDAY, JULY 10TH, 8:00 PM, THE HOLD UP

Ryan made it through her second day back to work after the holiday that became a regressive spiral into feelings she thought she’d buried, after Angelique put a Crow in a coma, after Luke was attacked by another Crow and hospitalized, and of course after Sophie found out who she was and Ryan crushed her when she admitted she never intended to tell her the truth. In reality, going to work was probably Ryan’s best option, because being left to her own devices at a time like this could result in literal bombs being placed and set everywhere her enemies frequented. But that kind of quick ending wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as ensuring the plan she’d spent years devising came to fruition, nor would it be fitting enough justice for them. They didn’t deserve quick endings. They needed to experience complete loss and total destruction. They needed to see her thriving in spite of everything they took from her. The only way that would happen was if she got her house in order. 

Fortunately, Sophie did still help, as she'd promised, and at least a couple of Ryan’s obstacles were now less threatening. She hadn’t spoken to Angelique in almost two days, and figured she too was barely keeping it together, wondering when the next Crow would jump out and try to take her down. So, Ryan goes to The Hold Up to give Angelique the news that Sophie had shared with her earlier that morning. She can’t deny that knowing with confidence Sophie won’t be there, because she’s currently on her shift with Luke, has influenced her timing. 

She walks up to the bar and a very worried Jordan greets her. 

Jordan: “Hey, Robyn…how are you holding up?” 

Ryan: “I’ve definitely been a lot better than this, but I’ve also been worse. So…”

Jordan: “I hear that. Well, have you eaten anything?”

Ryan: “A little…earlier…haven’t been super hungry.” 

Jordan: “Not surprising, considering. Why don’t I at least put some of your favorite fries in front of you, and we can see what happens?” 

Ryan: “Look at you, taking care of me…”

Jordan: “I might be concerned about Luke, but you were there…I can’t even imagine what that was like. And, I’m going to guess you’re not leaning on my sister right now… So, yeah, anything I can do.” 

Ryan: “That obvious, huh?” 

Jordan: “Oh yeah…but I’m not worried about you two.”

Jordan winks at Ryan, and she smiles back gingerly, appreciating the hope.

Ryan: “Are you here alone?” 

Jordan: “My mom’s in the kitchen, even though she should probably be heading home soon. But, it’s our TikTok queen’s night off, and with Soph so occupied right now…I mean, it’s hella dead in here, anyway. So it's not like she’s working hard.” 

Ryan: “Wait, who’s your TikTok queen?”

Jordan: “Oh, you didn’t see…?”

Ryan: “I’m not really on socials like that…” 

Jordan grabs her phone, taps it a few times, and then slides it over.

Jordan: “I’m going to go put your order in. Enjoy the show!”

As Jordan walks away, Ryan watches Angelique and another woman feed each other shots, what looks like for the third time based on the empty glasses nearby them. Then she tongues the girl down. As she pulls away, she snatches a panda hat off of her lipstick lover's head, placing it atop her own, and dances away to loud hip-hop music playing throughout the bar. The clip, taken on a customer's phone, has over fifty thousand likes, which is a lot for Gotham. The Hold Up is tagged as the location.

Ryan puts the phone down on the bar, completely furious. What about that was laying low or sticking to her routine? 

Ryan: “Hey, Jordan! Can I get those fries to go? Think I’m just going to head to bed early.” 

Ryan's night is actually about to get a lot longer.

~~~~~

To be continued…

We finish season one and chapter seven in August. Let's do this!

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[randomsloredrops]

Random's Lore Drops - Socially Anxious Lemon, Alpine Heights- (/j)

Well, if you've been catching onto the wacky-af trend of my posts not referring to the characters by the right name, then this one isn't a surprise. That's right...

The one who made the mfin amalgamates is here, ready for her post. After all, her fish gf already got one, why not her? Plus, like in chronological order, shes in hotland. and also the first (excluding sand undertable who sits there, and undyne who wants you DEAD) major character you meet.

there we go, made a keep reading. time to YAP to my hearts content. Now then. About that part where you meet her for the first time? Well, it's true. But she doesn't meet you for the first time there. Because...

THIS MF'S BEEN SPYING ON YOU (ignore the frick beneathstory). In this bush is a camera, and when you meet her, it's revealed that she's been using those cameras to watch you. Yeah, she literally just watches you throughout the whole game. AND she also made the tile puzzle that Papyrus uses, and it's assumed that she rigged it so you could get through first try. She's the socially anxious lemon that people are split on apparently. First, because she made the amalgamates and went into a mental breakdance- i mean breakdown breakdown (IS THAT A JOJO REFERE-) and completely went back on her promise to return the people to their family, because she thought that everybody would want her dead. She's also the one who made Flowey, as the True Lab only has notes on Alphys' progress with the DT + Monsters (and inanimate objects), GASTER DOES NOT HAVE ANY FUCKING RELEVANCE IN THE TRUE LAB ASIDE FROM ROOM GASTER WHERE ONLY ONE THING MADE BY HIM IS THERE, LITERALLY ALL OF THE OTHERS ARE BY ALPHYS. Mettaton is also a creation of Alphys, made by making a robot body and letting a ghost inhabit it, with the ghost being Napstablooks cousin (also Mad Dummys/Mad Mew Mews cousin), and... Alphys is lesban. Yeah, she likes Undyne. She's a LEGO CITIZE- wait that's not the term. Uhhhh, SHE'S A LESBIAN! Nothing bad about that tho. Also according to my sources (mettaton/the wiki), Alphys also had a crush on Asgore, but not as much as Undyne, so, uh... she's bi, not lesber. Wild, ain't it? She, despite having the power to deactivate EVERYTHING, every puzzle, every trap, everything. Despite her power to do that, she doesn't do it. Instead, she makes you do the puzzles, and when YOU fumble, she goes all 'ah fuck, i messed up' and starts talking down on herself. Yeah, she's depressed. That's, uh... Surprisingly all I can find. I literally went on this to add onto the draft to post it, but seriously, what the fuck? This feels shorter than all the other posts. ...Oh yeah also she never frees the amalgamates except for in the pacifist ending and a neutral ending where she becomes the ruler of the Underground (it's abandoned genocide in hotland, where you kill Undyne in the Undying form, then abandon geno), where she outright tells you that she should've just killed you when she had the chance, BUT, it also made her become a better person as well. So, here's the rant about the Alphys neutral ending to extend reading time. Honestly, she's actually sort of right. She KNEW you were killing, she has cameras to watch you EVERYWHERE, and she also controls the puzzles and stuff around the map. However, it also forced herself to reveal what happened to the Monsters who had Fallen Down and were taken. Instead of what she actually thought, which, honestly, I'd think I'd be hated for making the amalgamates if I did make them, she actually got praised for being able to make the fallen Monsters live, even if they're blended in together. It was a means to an end after all. The Monsters were going to die, so, it really is a miracle, isn't it? ✋︎💧︎☠︎🕯︎❄︎ ✋︎❄︎✍︎