#literally one of the worst parts about running this blog is that idk what to say when ppl vent 😓

[autismcultureis]

Low empathy autism culture is being frustrated at yourself for never knowing what to say whenever people are venting because you can't relate to their emltions

!

[lees-chaotic-brain]

It's 🌗 Anon again! I just have a crack (neon) version for Yuji (pink) with #4! (After specific age, you feel a tug to your soulmate.)

Yuji lives in Sendai & Reader lives in Tokyo, so pull is soft.

But after Yuji moves to Tokyo (after eating a finger), the pull is harder. And annoying.

Sometimes when they're far+ but close-, they trip to their direction.

Other times, when they're relatively far- & close+, they either fall on the floor thanks to the force, or accidentally jump two steps forward thanks to the force.

One day, after tripping and nearly falling on their face, they go to the park to relax. But when locked eyes, they're literally thrown at each other and roll down the small hill. (Reader on top and Yuji at bottom after landing.)

P.s. Reader's a jujutsu manager in training, so they meet a lot now.

-🌗 Anon

oh i can already feel my brain running off the rails with this one. i changed the scenario in the ask a little bit, sorry. anyways, i'm literally cackling at my own writing rn. hope you find the half as amusing as i did.

Attractive (Yuji x Reader)

CW: crack fic like idk what i'm on, swearing, reader is a little unhinged like me, characters ages don't make sense just go with it

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When you discovered that you had a soulmate on your sixteenth birthday, you were thrilled. So thrilled in fact, that you didn't stop to think about the repercussions of your soulmate trait being fucking magnetism.

At first, it was fine. A gentle tugging sensation once or twice a day was hardly bothersome. If anything it was comforting.

But a couple weeks after your birthday your soulmate must have moved closer or something, because the once gentle tugs were now a violent force that sent you careening into everything and anything at random moments throughout the day.

After four months of that, it would be an understatement to say that you were sick of randomly being yanked into walls, shoved onto your face, or suddenly stumbling back.

Your friends all did their best to help you to find your soulmate, but seeing as they were jujutsu managers in training and isolated on a small separate part of Tokyo Jujutsu Tech campus, there wasn't much they could do.

You decided to let it be, trusting fate to eventually unite you with your soulmate.

At least that's what you told yourself.

And it would be a lot easier to be content with that if your soulmate wasn't a fucking lunatic.

For reasons unknown to you, your soulmate was constantly changing speeds and directions at a whirlwind pace.

If there was a decent amount of distance between you two, the force wasn't too strong so while you staggered around in different directions for a few minutes during his sporadic bouts of insanity.

But when he was close to you it was a whole different story.

His hyperactive monkey routine would toss you around like a rag doll, sending you careening into walls, ceilings, and any of your good-intending friends trying to catch you or slow you down.

After the twenty third time it happened in one week (yes you counted), you decided enough was enough. You were going to get back at him.

Informing your friends about your revenge plot, you grinned maniacally.

Finally. You were going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Yuji Itadori had no idea what was going on. Ever since he moved to Tokyo, he had been feeling the tug of his soulmate trait, but it had never been this strong.

Even at it's worst, the force had never been enough to make him more than stumble a little in one direction or another.

SO WHY THE FUCK WAS HE ZIPPING DOWN THE HALLWAY HEADFIRST AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING?!

Screeching like a banshee, he flailed, searching for anything to grab onto.

Woken by the noise, a half-asleep Fushiguro poked his head out into the hallway to see what was happening.

"FUSHIGUROOOOO!"

Yuji shrieked flying towards him.

"HELP MEEEEE."

Blinking, the sleepy raven haired boy rubbed his eyes again.

"It's too early for this."

He mumbled, retreating into his dorm again and closing the door behind him.

"YOU TRAI-"

THUNK.

The loud sound informed the said traitor that the wall at the end of the hallway had successfully stopped Yuji's crazed flight.

Hopefully he didn't break the wall.

Fushiguro thought to himself as he climbed back into bed and closed his eyes.

That would be really annoying.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A couple more months had passed since your impromptu revenge flight courtesy of your friends cursed technique, and it was time for you class to go meet up with the first year jujutsu students so you could be paired up.

You were so excited to meet the person you were going to be paired up with for the remainder of you high school career, that you didn't notice your soulmate bond going crazy, making you trip even more than usual as you walked to where the two classes had decided to meet.

No, you didn't notice it until you arrived and made eye contact with a certain pink haired boy.

Then the two of you were flying at each other like super-charged magnets, the force of your collision knocking the two of you to the side and down a little nearby hill.

Tumbling down the hill, the two of you screeched and yelped as you bounced over little dips, sharp stones, and each other.

When the two of you finally rolled to a stop, your soulmate lay sprawled on his back with you draped haphazardly over him.

After taking a couple of seconds to catch your breath, you realized the position you were in and rolled off, a slight blush tinting your cheeks.

Groaning, the pink-haired boy sat up next to you rubbing his neck.

You made eye contact and he beamed.

"Hi there soulmate! I'm Itadori Yuji! What's your name?"

You told him, still in a state of semi-shock.

"That's a pretty name!"

He said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Say, I never imagined that my soulmate would be this attractive."

And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you met your soulmate and boyfriend.

All it took was months of comedically timed yanking from your bond, and one god-awful pun.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

i'm so sorry for how unhinged this got. if you made it this far, thank you for reading the ridiculous crack fic.

<3 Lee

[chaosology]

condensing it all into one post, here’s my…

works in progress

i’d abbreviate it to WIP but that looks too close to WAP and unfortunately i have the maturity of a 12 year old boy

this is in no specific order and it’ll be updated as they come in :) if you want to navigate thru the blog, i’ve organised it here and the masterlist is here

request # 1: barbie girl

“Can you do a follow up from chills where Sam does actually wear the barbie hoodie to a training or something?”

request # 2

“cannot stop thinking about sam x popstar reader and having cheesy ass love songs written about her like taylor swift’s reputation and lover albums omggg like imagine sam blushing in the crowd while reader sings to her during her concert i’m literally going insane”

request # 3

"lol what about having to fly with sam? she said it’s like her worst fear. or her getting scared"

lurking p3

social media fic with actress!reader

request # 4

“could you write one where Sam plays through a game but she’s sick? and she’s really struggling so the reader is like super worried?”

request # 5

“writing for this prompt (when the other holds onto their waist briefly as they're passing by and it just send chills down their spine) with Sam Kerr (((:”

request # 6

“i was wondering if you would want to write something with sam kerr and the reader and like they have kids and they watch sam play soccer and cheer her on or something?”

request # 7

“could you write a sam kerr fic where the reader got REALLY badly injured and trampled on in the World Cup and she’s got a bad fear of blood, so when she sees that she’s bleeding she faints on the pitch and sam immediately runs over to her (u can write the rest)”

request # 8

“Could you do one when where Sam an reader are going with Ivf an reader has a miscarriage and then later she gets pregnant if you can’t that’s fine love your writing”

request # 9

“Ok so ik that I've already sent you a prompt but I just had the BEST idea. Close your eyes and imagine this: last 10 minutes of the final, you get subbed on, and the score is 1 all, you are awarded a penalty, after final whistle bc sUsPeNsE. You aim for the goal, line it up perfectly and score, the final goal, winning the match. (Sam x reader bc why not)”

request # 10

"have u considered the other height difference option… i am a 5’11 girlie and i find sam’s aerial shenanigans hilarious like. 😮‍💨 girl doing all that jumping just to get to wendie renard’s normal height.. if you were taller you’d be jumping 10 feet easily but alas. anyway um. consider this a prompt for a taller gf height difference (no pressure obv!! just an idea if u felt like it lol)"

request # 11

"Heyyy could I request a sam kerr x reader where the reader is prone to like anxiety and during a match they struggle to breathe because of anxiety and the stress of the game and Sam like takes notice and tells the ref and helps them calm down. 👍😊"

request # 12

"it’s just off the back of your “bad idea right” one shot (fan btw)- just cause i’m soft asl, could we have a follow up please where it’s maybe the morning after or even later and sam is being a bit cocky/teasing/flirty and suddenly reader gets genuinely upset bc it feels like this will never end and they’ll never get over sam and sam doesn’t feel the same way. and sam immediately snaps out of it and it becomes all soft and vulnerable and hopefully happy ending?"

request # 13

"oh shiz i need like a straight mans trying to flirt with reader at like a game or an event and sam just coming up and mans is shook"

request # 14

"what about a proposal? would she do it at a game or like would the other tillies get involved? also like wedding vibes? xx"

request # 15

"ok but what about sam dating a preschool/primary school teacher? like idk but like i just thought it"

benched pt 2

"Part 2 of benched where reader goes into labor and Sam is running around like a headless chicken"

[amrv-5]

dashing off blog post on break between readings, not sure if coherent or even making a point so much as expressing a vague but recurrent disappointment as a late night looks like it's going to become an early morning... cw for pejorative mention of food/eating habits in relation to film portrayal, and a discussion of film portrayal of sexual violence post the cut:

Watched Sedmikrásky (Daisies) (1966) for a class today and personally found it funny, really wonderful, playful, confrontational and brilliant... had an incredible time watching it, deeply moved, found a greater appreciation for the experimental techniques it used... we've not had many female directors in this course series, and the few New Wave women we're getting have been such a personal revelation for me as a film watcher. Got excited to talk about the movie post-screening with my (male. all male) program friends (basically no female graduate students in the optional portion of the history series) but of course the first things these guys do immediately post-screening is trash the film, and not on formal grounds... Just complained about how "disgusting" and "offputting" the movie was, how it made one guy "not want to eat for the rest of the day" and "feel nauseated" and "wish he could have slept through more of it."

And what's so disgusting that a group of cis dudes who regularly watch sexploitation films and other grindhouse fare couldn't bear to watch it? Fucking. Movie where 2 conventionally attractive women: eat frequently and with a focus on enjoying food without performing delicateness for men (one woman boldly states 'I love food! I love eating!' and laughs at the disgust of the older man she and her friend are scamming for free dinner), including having a food fight; laugh and lean into physicality / bodily play (moving in funny ways for their own amusement, dancing, overapplying makeup, making unflattering faces, remapping their bodies in an extended joke sequence w/scissors; satirize stereotypes of women and expectations of behavior in patriarchal society. Etc.

Man! Point of all this being how frustrating it is to continually run up against unexamined misogyny again and again even in spaces that are supposed to be self-critical of these things. Literally what was so unbearably disgusting and threatening about watching a pretty lady on the movie screen say "I like eating cake" and then eating cake and having a food fight. How are you as a film academic more disgusted by playful feminist challenges (FROM NINETEEN FUCKING SIXTY SIX) to expectations of women's behavior than watching Bad Girls Go to Hell. Not saying that to be like There Is A Genre Of Film Which Is Morally Bad I've found thinking about some grindhouse stuff interesting/generative/whatever just it feels fucking nuts to me that a person would be comfortable sitting through scenes of explicit portrayed sexual violence against women and then go "ewww icky they had a lot of scenes where they were eating" and not see that you have a fundamental problem with misogyny in your worldview.

WAUGH! But the real problem now being is that these men are my friends, people I spend a lot of time with and thought very well of and do genuinely believe to be really decent, and even these guys who I trust and like had such a fundamentally awful response to the bare minimum of disrupting the idea that Maybe Women Aren't Just For You To Enjoy Looking At...?

I cannot overemphasize how fucking completely tame the "disgusting" parts of this movie are. This is the 'worst' scene in the whole film by these guys' criteria, and it's literally just 2 women eating cake and throwing it at each other and laughing and then doing a dance on a table.

Well anyway. IDK ! Not sure how to or if I even should try to bring it up again. I don't want to be responsible for being the Feminist to grown male colleagues who should know better but at the same time I was so offput by their reactions to the movie I almost feel like I can't let it go without at least gently asking at a later date if the dudes can elaborate on their "disgust" -- they made it explicitly clear it was about the eating, though, already, which seems like a lost cause. It's just women eating. Grow up. You'll live.

[official-zerg-fangirl]

how do you feel about kerrigan going super Saiyan in Legacy of the Void? what about the Amon plot in general?

(idk if you get notifications when a question is answered publicly, so @fall-warning hi, also THANKS FOR SENDING THIS. I LOVE ATTENTION I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY GIRL)

Oh, That Jean Grey ass Kerrigan transformation is half the reason my bio says "Starcraft 2 never happened, Metzen can suck my dick." *

*the other half is the Kerrinor Kiss, because on Official-zerg-fangirl, the running gag is I have an irrational hate for Raynor bcs I was one of Those middle school girls who would legit be jealous of a fictional character (I just didn't realize what i felt was jealousy bcs i didnt know i was gay)

I hate it! I HATE IT. IT SUCKS.

I am normally an extremely big fan of fire, and red, and phoenixes, and literal deities, and women being any or all of the above. But none of that should have been Kerrigan, and definitely not in the way it was handled. Fuck you, Blizzard. Fuck you for the insane bullshit happening behind the scenes, but also fuck you for what LotV did to my girl!

I refuse to play any part of LotV to this day! I don't fucking care! Sorry to the protoss stans, it's great that you got so much extra lore with Alarak or whatever, but absolutely FUCK what they did to my girl!

oh but I loved the amon plotline tho.

"m'am, why the fuck" it was validating it was powerful it is everything the character arc of the entire Zerg species was building up to and it turned Kerrigan into the antihero she was always meant to be, and LotV is probably great but that epilogue ruined it with a pointless second transformation.

[more deranged rambling below]

Look, Kerrigan's character arc in Brood War was top notch it was S tier it was great I wrote a literal essay about how I do sincerely believe Kerrigan in SC1 + Brood War had a heroic character arc, and I am of course correct, and the canon agrees, BUT WE WILL GET TO THAT,

now initially ofc i was like naw SC2 never happened. Obviously I've softened on that opinion (but saying it never happened is funny. so is acting like everyone is missing the point of Kerrigan except for me. this blog is the space where i get to play up an extremely cocky persona ok)

SC2's general insistence (at least that's my first impression) on treating her zergness like a boring corruption and "ooh Kerrigan was good before but she's evil now" bothers me. like they do this to her instead of, oh I don't know, she was abused and exploited as a child fucking soldier, she latched onto the guy who 'saved' her and was too wrapped up in the exhilaration of having someone who 'cared' about her that she couldn't recognize she was being used as literal fucking bait, and then he LEFT HER TO FUCKING GET EATEN BY ALIENS, and by the grace of fucking god, those aliens saw her value and potential in a way no one else ever could, they elevated her, made her stronger, gave her the means to break off the shackles implanted in her skull (remember the Amerigo mission???), and from that point on, all the anger she'd been harboring from all those years of abuse could run freely, so of fucking course she became impatient and vengeful!

Yes, Kerrigan was extremely destructive, spiteful, cruel,even! But you think someone who's only ever known violence and death and cruelty could ever be anything else? are we so naiive as to imagine a perfectly human Sarah Kerrigan would not become the Queen of Blades Her fatal flaw is wrath, you see how quick she is to anger when she fights Tassadar. To quote the man himself,

"So long as you continue to be so predictable, O Queen, I need not face you at all. You are your own worst enemy."

she is predictable because of her wrath. In her beginning as the Queen of Blades, she's too consumed by all her fury, by her newfound power that she can and will use to demolish everyone who's wronged her, and she hasn't yet learned the wisdom required to use said power. this is a flaw she overcomes in Brood War, wherein she delays her fury and rage to arrange a temporary alliance, to wait for just the right moment to have her vengeance and crush her enemies.

aaaaaand here's the Wings of Liberty campaign going like "Zerg turned her evil. yeah she's killing and infecting terrans bcs that's what zerg do. we need to redeem her by removing her zergyness."

like - no acknowledgement to the fact that the terrans are currently being commanded by the dude who used her and then fucking left her to die???? bro like of all people you'd think Raynor would understand why she's waging war on the Dominion HE'S LITERALLY DOING THE SAME THING, but Blizzard gonna Blizzard and the final boss is Kerrigan bcs Raynor's gotta work with the Dominion to neutralize the greater threat - which is somehow Kerrigan. Okay.

It just really rubbed me the wrong way. Can you tell that it rubbed me the wrong way?

but then it redeemed itself. Bcs the Amon plotline.

NO I AM NOT JOKING. FUCK YOU THE AMON PLOTLINE WAS GOOD.

"oh but it derails everything and now my simple slapfight between humans and two aliens has transformed into some sort of cosmic battle between good and evil" fuck no it doesn't it was foreshadowed back in Brood War did you forget Duran? the fuck you think that man was doing if NOT foreshadowing that some fucking hidden power beyond every race's leaders was controlling the situation specifically through the Zerg? Even BEFORE Brood War, the lore that the Zerg and Protoss were both created by the xel'naga and that the Zerg were specifically created with a mandate to assimilate the Protoss was right the fuck there. you know who said that shit? THE OVERMIND. Pay attention bro, Amon was there all along!

Could he have maybe been introduced in a less jarring way okay sure but he didn't derail shit, this WAS the rails, you just got too caught up in the surface level fighting to recognize what was happening!

also, the Amon plotline was (before that FUCKING EPILOGUE) so extremely validating to me, let me tell you a story about when i was playing HotS - no, even before HotS, whcih did a lot of good stuff, in fucking Wings of Liberty, a campaign I just spent a few paragraphs shitting on, it did one super good thing. it did the Zeratul missions. It did this shit:

oh I imagine a lot of Starcraft fans hated this cutscene bcs it was an out of nowhere messiah plotline delivered via literal exposition ghost, but, see, I'm smarter than your average Starcraft fan, I am a genius and I'm sexy, and I know my wife Kerrigan better than anyone, even the fucking Starcraft writers (suck my dick Metzen) and I see this cutscene at 7:33PM, April 29, 2021, and I ran into my friend's DMs and said "I FUCKING CALLED IT"

BECAUSE I WROTE A FANFIC (unfinished, novel-length, self-indulgent, OCxKerrigan, highly nsfw, no I haven't posted it anywhere I wanna finish it first I wanna perfect it).

AND IN THAT FANFIC I WROTE SOMETHING SO ABSOLUTELY DERANGED I FIGURED IT WAS JUST SELF INDULGENT ABSOLUTE SKEWERING OF THE CANON JUST TO RUN SHAMELESS ZERG APOLOGIA:

I wrote that the Overmind, before capturing Kerrigan at New Gettysburg, telepathically communicated with her, and very specifically said that her human psionic mind would resist control until the bitter end, that it would kill itself rather than accept forced subjugation into the zerg, and THUS he had to ask Kerrigan PERMISSION, that he couldn't and didn't want to strip her of her free will, and he specifically promised to her power, and purpose, and the potential to usurp his place as the leader of the Zerg, and he specifically welcomed that possibility-

and like that's stupid that's so fucking stupid, why would the zerg ever value free will why would the Overmind pursue to the ends of the earth a servant that he couldn't control, that he knew could and would one day usurp him? there's no way this is canon-compliant-

IT IS

AND NOT JUST CANON-COMPLIANT, IT'S FUCKING CANON. ACTUALLY LITERALLY CANON.

STRAIGHT FROM TASSADAR'S MOUTH, THE OVERMIND DID THAT SHIT. THE GODDAMN EYEMONSTER HAD PLANNED ALL ALONG FOR KERRIGAN TO HAVE FREE WILL AND THAT HE SPECIFICALLY VALUED HER FREEDOM.

The only reason I can't say I predicted the future is because I started writing this fic after WoL released, but I clearly had some sort of precognition I fucking knew I was on the wavelength my deranged apologia was canon I was right.

OH AND THIS AMON SHIT GIVES ME FULL JUSTIFICATION TO BE A GREATER APOLOGIST THAN I EVER COULD BEFORE. BEFORE IT WAS LIKE "c'mon the zerg aren't people, they're mindless demons of destruction" OHHH NO YOU DON'T MOTHERFUCKER! THEY ARE PEOPLE, THEY HAVE MINDS AND FEELINGS AND WILL AND THEY'RE BEING CONTROLLED BY THEIR CREATOR - NO, THEIR CORRUPTER, AGAINST THEIR BEST INTERESTS,

AND THE PRIMAL ZERG, THE PRIMAL ZERG! THEIR GLORIOUS PAST! ZERUS, THE GARDEN OF EDEN BEFORE AMON'S MEDDLING, WHERE THERE IS NO CONTROL AND NO DESOLATION, ONLY THE RULE OF THE HUNT! HERE, WE SHALL FORGE A VISION OF THE LIBERATED SWARM, REUNITE WITH OUR PAST TO FORGE A BETTER FUTURE, AND OH LET'S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE PARALLELS BETWEEN WHAT AMON DID TO THE ZERG AND WHAT THE GHOST PROGRAM DID TO KERRIGAN,

BECAUSE THAT'S JUST IT, KERRIGAN IS THE SWARM, WHICH IS WHY SHE BELONGS IN THE SWARM.

SHE AND THE ZERG BOTH EXIST AS BEINGS OF INCREDIBLE POTENTIAL WHOSE FUTURES WERE STOLEN AND CORRUPTED FOR THE SAKE OF A HIGHER POWER'S TWISTED WAR GAME, TURNED INTO A LIVING WEAPON AND SET TOWARDS A CAUSE THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN, THEY ARE CHAINED AND THEY WILL ONLY ACHIEVE THEIR GREATEST SELVES ONCE THOSE CHAINS ARE BROKEN,

and this entire fucking theme of subjugation and of being transformed into a living weapon was in Brood War, too! That was what the UED did to the Zerg! This is why Kerrigan is the hero of Brood War, an entire species was enslaved and her, with her human mind, was the only hope anyone had of not submitting to Earth's slave army! Amon is simply the greater master who enslaves the zerg more subtly, with chains that are harder to break because they permeate across the hive mind link itself,

And by the fucking WAY, the revelations of that xel'naga relic, Zeratul's visions, the insight given by Zurvan of the primal Zerg, all bring such a delicious context to the entire wings of liberty campaign, and they make that campaign good and make everything I complained about earlier just an extra spicy flavoring and a dash of gray to our terran heroes, THEY MADE ME ACTUALLY LIKE RAYNOR???

bcs you know what, fine, perhaps Raynor does see the Queen of Blades as nothing but pure evil, perhaps he does choose to ally with the Dominion to destroy her, that is his human perspective, as someone who loved Kerrigan but knew her so briefly, all he can truly see is the Zerg as he understands them, the mindless living weapon, the infested terrans that beg for death as they seek to tear you limb from limb. We are imperfect, we aren't omniscient, perhaps I should forgive Raynor for his short-sightedness. He cannot concieve of harmony with the zerg because of what he has seen, so of course his dear friend is corrupted, infested, controlled, and he has to free her, and maybe he can make this deal with the devil. From his eyes, this is the best route he can take. He even knows he should not kill her, he knows what she's meant to be, and he has no idea how she'll go from the monster he sees now to the savior of Zeratul's prophecy, so he does what he thinks is best.

and as we see in HotS (and i think also LotV a bit?), Raynor's choice to use the relic was a mistake, it robs the zerg of their salvation and feeds so much energy into Amon's greedy maw... but also, it wasn't a mistake.

See, Kerrigan's temporary severance from the swarm frees her of the influence of Amon on her mind (though I am adamant that her actions have been PRIMARILY motivated by rage and vengeance and spite!), and when she sheds her humanity once more and properly returns to the Swarm, it is in the sacred birthplace of all Zerg, on the planet that obeys the law of nature, where hardship and violence are tools to produce an ever-greater self, and all that she has suffered will become her strength,

AND KERRIGAN ASCENDS - NO, EVOLVES - INTO HER PRIMAL SELF IN ORDER TO FULLY REALIZE THE OVERMIND'S PLOT OF LIBERATION. I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG AND SHE WAS A HERO, THANK YOU HEART OF THE FUCKING SWARM YOU REDEEMED SC2.

which just makes the fucking fire lady 'oh shes not zerg anymore she's xel'naga heehee' feel all the more bullshit???? Like, i thought it was bullshit before I knew anything abt HotS but now its SUPER bullshit, bcs primal kerrigan WAS her perfected self. She didn't NEED to become xel'naga. SHE IS ZERG! SHE IS THE QUEEN OF BLADES!

It's just so pointless. Nothing you could do to Kerrigan in this literal final hour of the entire Starcraft franchise could possibly be as thematically powerful as the Zerus arc, and you should've just continued those themes. leave Kerrigan's character arc concluded. Stop fucking with it. You had something amazing and you fumbled the bag at the literal last second. seriously, what the fuck? THAT'S how you end the series? What happened in the writers' room- other than the creepy misogynist bullshit we already know was happening, of course?

anyways yeah I hope that satisfied your curiosity. :D i don't wanna know how many words this was, I just know it took me like 2h to write. maybe more. I don't have a good sense of time. it's the autism.

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[suttttton]

vampire fic made me realize i never commented about ghost jon so i'm gonna use your askbox to avoid the energy cost of swapping sites. I! have been thinking! about jon curled up in his sad lil corner ever since i read it. Also thinking about a variety of one shots and aus related to it. what if elias DID get jon a lil friend or marry him or etc etc. About Jon being dropped on the hard cold floor when he's so desperately sick and seeing elias walk away and leave him in the dark AGAIN. it made me fully cry, tears running down my cheeks, as your work so often does

(ghost jon context)

i am so glad you brought up elias leaving jon to die alone because that was my favorite part of the whole thing. i rearranged the whole story like twenty times trying to figure out the right time to reveal that detail, and I'm really proud of how it turned out where jon is thinking about it constantly but the reader doesn't find out until he's deep in the revenge 🔪🔪🔪

that scene also made all of elias' whole deal so funny to write. man could have easily avoided the whole haunting if he had simply stayed with jon (or even just left him alone in the comfy bed!) instead of being The Worst

elias in general was really fun to write in the fic ESPECIALLY with his lil fantasies about marrying jon and moving to some picturesque cabin somewhere. elias literally all of your friends and business partners know jon as a) your nephew and b) EXTREMELY mentally ill. like. i think someone would have objections, or at least questions??? idk maybe it would be an "official-in-elias'-mind" marriage where there are no witnesses or officiant or documentation, but we're married now trust me <3

thinking about jon as a tragic ghost is making me want to get the olivepilogue finished (fingers crossed for halloween??) but as a teaser here's the blog post gerry wrote after his interview with elias (under a cut because it's p long):

On June 5, in a series of events that I'm sure my readers are by now very familiar with, Elias Bouchard turned himself into the police for the crime of kidnapping, falsely imprisoning, and eventually murdering Jonathan Sims.

On June 6, Jonathan's remains were recovered from the Bouchard estate and taken to Westlake Mortuary Services for cremation. Westlake is a mortuary company that specializes in identifying psychic activity in their deceased clients, and every member of their staff is a certified medium. In their official report, they found no unexplained psychic activity or spiritual manifestations, and Jonathan was officially ruled a departed spirit.

Because of that, none of the journalistic coverage of the Elias Bouchard trial has made any attempt to contact or interview Jonathan, despite substantial evidence that Bouchard experienced psychic activity in the months after Jonathan's death.

On July 1, I obtained an interview with Bouchard. However, if you're looking for more juicy insights into the leech, you'd be better off checking the tabloids. My purpose in going was to look for signs that Jonathan is not departed at all, and after my experience, I can say with absolute certainty that Jonathan is very much still here.

Before all the skeptics jump down my throat, I know better than anyone that being clairvoyant is not the same as being a true medium. I'm not claiming to have spoken to Jonathan. I do, however, have an eye for psychic activity and spiritual anomalies, and Jonathan was making no attempts to hide his presence. He spent most of the interview leaning over my shoulder, presumably looking at my notepad. I felt his mood lighten whenever I said something rude to Elias, and I felt him darken at times when Elias said things I can only assume he disagrees with. When my interview ended (early, because apparently Bouchard is the easily-offended sort), Jonathan followed me all the way to the door.

I don't know if he heard me, or even knew I was speaking to him, but I told him to keep up the good work.

Manifesting a haunting is no easy task for a spirit. From this side of the veil, it seems like the simplest thing in the world—wouldn’t we all choose to keep living, rather than die? It’s important to remember that the dead belong to the beyond. The moment you die, your soul, your very essence, longs to be gone, longs to rest.

Imagine you’ve been awake for forty-eight hours straight. Finally, you’ve lain down in bed, beneath your most comfortable blankets. Your white noise machine is playing soothing ocean sounds, and just keeping your eyes open feels like a monumental effort. Is there anything that could pull you away from your rest?

Now imagine you’ve spent the past four years being tortured by a psychopath. You’ve long since given up on rescue or escape; it’s all you can do to make it through every day with your mind halfway intact. Then, finally, for the first time in four years, the pain ends. You don’t hurt, you aren’t trapped, and your tormentor is far away.

Would you go back?

I am so sick of the narrative everyone seems to agree upon that paints Jonathan as a tragic, helpless victim of a monstrous man. All of these articles and podcasts and numbered-list breakdowns of the evidence stacking up against Elias Bouchard treat Jonathan like his imprisonment and death were an inevitability of the kind of person he was.

At the time of his kidnapping, Jonathan was taking a semester break from working on his Master's degree. According to his academic advisor, he'd taken time off for his mental health. The rigor of the program was causing him considerable stress.

I keep seeing this fact brought up in articles about Bouchard. If I were being generous, I would say that the authors of those articles were trying to humanize Jonathan, to make the audience see him as a real person instead of an abstract. But I'm not being generous. Over and over again, Jonathan's mental health issues are at best held up as potential reasons he was particularly vulnerable to attack. At worst, they are used to explain why he never managed to escape in four years of imprisonment (as if Bouchard hasn’t admitted that Jonathan tried to escape multiple times).

Of course, it isn't just Jon's leave of absence that gets utilized in this way. It's every goddamn thing about him. It's statements from his ex-landlord saying that Jonathan always seemed a bit nervous when putting in work orders and his ex-boss saying that she tended to worry about him because he struck her as a bit naive. It's quotes from Elias fucking Bouchard himself saying that Jonathan was simply "an easy target."

Well, thank god the rest of us aren't easy targets!

This systematic evisceration of Jonathan's agency makes me furious. Jonathan could have left this plane as soon as he died, and none of us would have known what happened to him. Elias Bouchard would not be facing trial; he would still be living it up in his lavish estate, feeling absolutely no guilt for the things he's done.

Maybe he'd even have found another "easy target" by now.

But Jonathan stayed. He stayed, and he made sure that Elias Bouchard paid for his crimes. He made sure that we learned the truth. He made sure that justice was served.

This story is a tragedy, not because Jonathan could do nothing to fight against Elias, but because he fought with everything he had and it wasn't enough to save him. Jonathan died, and then he kept fighting anyway.

Just one more thing before I sign off:

I hope that fucker rots in prison.

[ponds-of-ink]

Confrontation but William and Glitch-Trap (Part 2.. Kinda [There’s No Storyboards This Time])

Now, I know I technically finished what I was supposed to for my Confrontation but William vs. Glitch-Trap storyboards, but I want to ramble on about what I’ve had in mind for the rest of the song. And, since I have enough time to write my thoughts down but not enough to draw at the moment, I’ve decided to turn it into a blog post real quick. Besides, most of this is kinda rough considering Ruin isn’t even out yet. And I’m not entirely sure about the choreography in a few spots shh

This is going to probably get a little long, so I’ve put it under a “keep reading” break just in case.

So, picking up where we left off...

*William almost exits the elevator, but the door shuts. Glitch sings Hyde’s opening “monologue” as the elevator drops to the first floor of the building. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a wild-eyed “Vanny” pries the door open with her bare hands as Glitch’s voice triumphantly claims victory... One minute and a half into a four minute song.

*Anyway, the first main argument starts up as William removes Vanny from Glitch’s control and faces him properly. Almost want to say that most of this from here on out flickers between altered memories from both Glitch and Will. Like, when it’s Will’s turn to sing at one point, he turns into Mr. Burrows from the Pizzaplex books and starts slamming an equally disguised Glitch. Or Glitch activates the springs on Will’s Bonnie suit himself just to emotionally stun the man. Idk I’m just in the mood to pull a literal memory fight and get crazy with the fight scene.

*So, after all that trying to hijack each other’s minds (well... if that rabbit has a mind), Glitch manages to take the upper hand and forcibly returns the pair back to reality. As if to add insult to the injuries he’s most likely dishing out, he sends our ghost boy William allll the way back to the Blob hybrid with no way to escape again. William is obviously both very tired and very unhappy now as Glitch tauntingly floats into the room and does his trademark “arms in the air” dance.

*However, as the song winds down to its crescendo, William uses the hybrid to his advantage. He snatches Glitch up with wiry tentacles, insisting that he’s no longer the man this insane strand of code idolized. Unfortunately for him, Glitch is too stubborn to admit that sort of thing— Even going so far as to admit that he is William’s literal darker half by default.

*As a last ditch effort, William initiates some sort of “self-destruct” as he screams for Glitch to go rot somewhere (since, you know, the glitchy bunny can’t actually die). Glitch yells back with absolute pride: “I’ll see you there, Afton!” as new flames start to rise higher and higher.

*While Vanny, Gregory, and anyone else who managed to survive the entire DLC make a break for it, William gets literally dragged down by his two worst (though unintended) creations. Is it a metaphor for what’ll happen to his soul? Is it just a final attack from Glitch-Trap? Gonna be honest and say that I have no idea until Ruin comes out.

*Of course, this version is taking into account stuff from the Tales from the Pizzaplex books. If I wanted to just stick to the games entirely, then I could still use the memory segment in a different way (ie. Jeremy’s story from Help Wanted as a flashback for Glitch). Also, this would mean that Glitch would be implied to be more like an actual Edward Hyde for William rather than a rouge computer program pretending to be William. (Sorry if this part doesn’t make sense, but I just realized that I forgot to explain where I got half of Glitch’s characterization from for this.)

*The only reason why I didn’t mention Ruin Girl at all in this is because she’s already left the main building by this point. For all she knows, Vanny and Greg just left the mall only for Vanny to suddenly run back in at breakneck speeds... Only for them to reemerge a couple of minutes later as the entire place burns down again. Wow, nobody is catching a break today. Not even anyone smart enough to be in the parking lot.

*If I do continue this at some stage, let me make this clear: William should be in his official Ruin/actually human design rather than the partially 8-bit form I drew in the initial storyboards. That 8-bit form was just a placeholder, after all.

*Side note: Glitch sounding like Springtrap is a bit “cursed” to me, not gonna lie. It’s like Glitch finally learned to sound a bit more like the monster everyone dreads and he’s running with that new voice-bank. On the bright side, at least Jekyll’s voice fits William pretty well.

And I think that’s pretty much all I’ve got. Hope my rough outline didn’t sound too haphazard..

[chogiwow]

dude so i saw ur reply last night but i was in desperate need of sleep but also didn't sleep bc i was just engrossed in a book IVDSNS BUT this morning i opened up my inbox and couldnt find ur reply and was so confused and as i continued to be unable to find it in my inbox i got sadder and then i realised im stupid bc the reply wouldn't be in my inbox 🧍‍♂️anyways semi-long reply sorry hehe (semi-long bc ive defs sent longer ones)

ahh i see i see @ substack. reminds me of medium, which i've come across before... i did debate exploring medium as another writing platform, but never got around to it vsjnvks so its nice that u bring substack to my attention bc now i can compare 🤩 well. maybe not now now but yknow. whenever i decide to/can get around to it NVJDKNSK

100% agree w and have had the same thoughts as you about fics/continuing to write/the pub industry (which i really should give much more thought to, given that one of my degrees is in writing🧍‍♂️) and yeah no it DOES serve as a good incentive to build a portfolio (if anyone asked me for a portfolio, i would simply hand over my uni work bc i have nothing else rn LMAO) but tbh i think even if it is a hobby, it's a good way to kinda explore and set your ??? idk like foundations or whatever so you get an idea of what you wanna write about and if you actually wanna take it seriously (which isn't to say you aren't - we can 100% take hobbies seriously - just that different contexts/intents would call for different. things. wow i love words.)

and also related but unrelated, i think its fun/nice to. uh. idk how to say it but for us (as in literally you and me, but also other mutuals and people in fandom who made friends in the context of fandom) to see eachother write or talk about things outside of the uniting factor or common denominator or whatever? though yeah that does kinda potentially extend the relationship beyond what some people are comfy w. i'm kinda just rambling rn sorry AHHA

OH BUT BUT sorry back to the publishing/career thing. Even if you don't use the substack writings for like. writing/publishing careers, it can still help with other career things? like, you run a blog and hav experience writing about diverse topics, communicating ideas etcetc. so no losses 🤩

do not feel guilty about the chan fic 🙂‍↔️ yes i love/d it and i think about it and yes i would love to read more BUT im so happy to have just been eble to experience it at all. i hope you've never felt pressured by my responses to it KNVDSKJNVDSK sincerest of apologies if you have.

tbh i havent been up to much, i don't think. shits kinda hit the fan tbh but i'm hoping (always hoping) the only other place for the shit to go is down, now. (ie. i hope this is the part where things start getting easier etc). it is what it is, even if it shouldn't be, and we'll somehow get through it because. well, we have so far, right? BUT ANYWAYS

"anything you wanna yap about-" BOY do i have things to yap about. that book^^ i was so engrossed in? jesus CHRIST i sent my friend 10mins worth of voicemsgs JNCDKSNDSK (it may have been 10mins because i simply i can't articulate properly and kept repeating myself and going off on tangents.. but it probably would have been 10mins anyways if i'd planned and scripted it all before hand anyways. it was only 10mins because i got tired and realised i should probably see how much ive spammed 💀) ("kat... 10 whole minutes? 😭" babes thats not even the worst of it-)

i also like to 'yap' about the stuff i learn in class (my other degree/major is in media and cultural studies) and i just 🤩 have so much to say about some things that i find so so interesting but me talking as much as i do/want to is also just. i find it interesting and really wanna share and talk about it KJNVDSKJVNSK so like yeah, to bring this full circle, is why i've vaguely thought about using medium/substack,,, tbh i thought about just making a sideblog here AHAHA but i cant take myself on tumblr seriously LOL + 'fresh' start on new platform sounds neat mhm mhm but also hehehe (evil) maybe instead of spamming my friend about stuff, i can just write blog posts and she can read it whenever hMMMM thinking thinking,,,

anyways 🧍‍♂️sorry, i was expectin this to be long but it ended up longer than i thought it would HAHA wait no im rereading my ask/reply rn and substack just sounds great bc i can do informal reviews about things i've watched/read aswell AHHHH and yeah like just ??? more personal though explorations/'journaling' kinda vibes as well? HMMM AND and even mini writing pieces--- i literally do not have the time to be considering this rn but here i am wHOOPS okay i'll stop now before this gets even longer 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

hi katttt, i'm so sorry for the late reply :'D apparently i'm in the phase of my life where i can only type out articulated replies on my laptop and not my phone, also week's been sooo hectic i hate being a corporate slave fml <3

lmfao not you tryna find my reply in your inbox sdjskd all's good tho hehe :3ooh medium is ... something, i couldn't really figure it out all that well and also the few times i've tried to read on medium, it's asked me to subsribe or sign up to continue to read? and i just don't ... vibe with that lol

yes yes, tryna write about real life stuff really makes me pause once in a while and just think (?) it through bc writing fiction is gen easier than trying to string together the raw ideas relating irl issues/stuff (for me at least). like it really makes me stop midway and rethink my choice of phrasing stuff or even putting forward an opinion thinking about how its gonna make people percieve me? well, not that its not sumn that doesn't apply to fiction as well bc i kinda think that the way one writes always just brings about some sort of perception of their character and personal views through their words, no matter how subtle ... am i making sense? but fictional writing just lets you cloak it into a 'what-if' situation where any judgement of your story/character(s) is not a direct discernment of your personal opinions whereas talking about irl stuff always comes with that concious load of having your opinions/thoughts being obligated to a verdict (positive/negative/both).

so anywayyy sjhdj, yes it's fun to just write and pursue as a hobby bc its fun communiatingideas and realise that it might not be all that irrelevant as you thought haha :>

and noooo, i absolutely love love LOVE reading yout tags on my fics, like i legit go back to my old writings and read the rb tags and it always makes me so happy :( i do want to continue writing fiction bc its always been a comfort to me to be able to weave stories my way, but i suppose everything has its own time to unfold and settle ... sometimes inspiration hits so bad but the will to write it out is just not there :/ but anyway ! i'm glad that you've enjoyed my writing so far <3

yeah, things don't don't need to work out all the time. i'm realising this the hard way, through adulting. really makes me wanna go back and give my younger self a good whooping on the ass to have ever wanted to grow up fast so desperately. but yeah, hope your shit works out man (✿◡‿◡)

lmaoooo no bc ! its so fun to just simply yap about stuff , that's like writing but ... verbally ,,, you could litch rally make a yap blog and i'd read it alllllll :3 also what book is this, drop the nameeeee :'D no but like i get you not being able to take tumblr seriously bc i was like ! i can't talk about this shit on tumblr ! tumblr's supposed to be for my clownery ! all the grownup stuff needs a different platform altogether sjsdksjd but if you ever consider making a blog, i think i'll read it fo the vibes itself. and the words ofc and opinions and stuff. like that's important too gaaaahhhhh what i'm saying is ,, i think you'd make a really amusing and entertaining blog - in a good way !!

anyway ! i think i needed a medium to unscramble the crap in my brain so the blog served well (even though it was an impulsive decision lol) but yeah ! go for it, you won't regret it. nobody really gaf's in the beginning, like readership is low babes, unless you have friends who will actively read your shit but that's a big comfort to me lololol. not sicouraging you in anyway, but its a point to consider if you're looking for a chill sesh with your own writing haha <3

[menalez]

looking through this dumb discourse and of course chinese women who are friends with fucking biphobic chaofan1968 are losing their minds because you "didn't even mention the rwacism that jesie woman was doing!!" honestly there are just certain groups of people you need to block on sight and if chinese speaking "radfems" can't handle the fact that indian people in singapore would definitely experience more racism than a majority group of chinese people then they're purposely missing the point and just trying to pick fights because they think they're the most oppressed ever. none of these people have any kind of reading comprehension and just pick one sentence you said and run with it to make you seem like you did something wrong when you literally didn't, especially since a lot of these people who are angry don't even speak english so they're probably completely missing the context. also you're not being a very good sinophobe if you're dating an asian lol

uhhhh i think you’re either misunderstanding the situation or potentially fanning the flames here.

as far as i know, chaofan1968 has nothing to do with the chinese-speaking radfems that came onto 1 post and there’s nothing to indicate she (or any chinese-speaking radfem) is related to the shit-stirring anons. i don’t think that’s a fair assumption to make simply bc she’s ethnically chinese too.

i don’t think they complained that i didn’t mention her racism tbh? maybe one anon did but it just seemed like that anon was whining that i was reasserting the point they kept calling me racist for (that not all singaporeans are of chinese descent) instead of jumping to hate on a woman i do not know based on another anon’s word (which doesn’t make sense. ofc if someone is criticising me for something i’m going to respond to what they’re criticising me for instead of talking about some random woman i don’t know ??)

i did not comment on whether or not indian people face more racism in singapore when compared to chinese people. i assume that is likely the case by virtue of chinese singaporeans being the vast majority and malay & indian singaporeans being a minority comparatively, but i would not assert something like that. i’m not knowledgable enough on singaporean politics to make such assertions to begin with. that said, my gf’s best friend (also taiwanese) was living in singapore for years and she did say that brown singaporeans (including malay here) get treated worse than white & chinese singaporeans. i did not talk to the malay or indian singaporeans i know about this tho so.. again, no idea about that so i’m not asserting anything. i don’t think that was a discussion anyone was having?

i also don’t think the chinese-speaking radfems on here were the same as the anons i was getting. the anons were almost all if not all non-asians and non-singaporeans and seemingly even westerners. i agree the ANONS are clearly shit-stirrers with bad intentions. the chinese-speaking radfems may have simply mistranslated or misunderstood the situation due to the anons, which from what someone told me, one of those anons did go to those bloggers to make them believe i’m being racist against asians. i wish they didn’t jump to believe said anons, but i won’t blame them for that. after the way some people on here were actually being racist to east asian radfems, i can understand the readiness to think someone is doing that. maybe they translated what i said and the translation seemed malicious or something, idk, but i’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. that said, it says on my blog where i’m from and it takes 1 google search to find out that country is in asia. so i didn’t appreciate all of them going on my post to say i’m a westerner obsessed with asia etc etc because literally none of it could apply even if they wanted it to.

all in all, i agree that all of this is genuinely stupid and baffling but i think part of the issue is people were jumping to assume the worst about me with little to no basis, and so i think theres a similar issue with your anon here.

[absurdthirst]

Idk if anybody else feels this way but it kinda seems like the Pedro fandom on Tumblr is dying. So many ppl have deactivated. There’s less fanfics and other posts on my dash and it’s like only the really popular blogs are still active and they only talk to each other ):

Well, yeah. I can completely see that with the toxicity that infiltrated the fandom.

You have the sweetest man, literally (while he still has faults) amazing man - who has the worst goddamn fans. There is so much gatekeeping, and back biting and in-fandom fighting that people are over it. It's not worth it to stick around.

Some have just moved past their attraction to Pedro, and that's fine. But when you have some constantly receiving bullshit in their inboxes or being told they're are an evil person for writing about topics others don't like - why wouldn't they leave? No one runs this fandom and yet there are people who feel like they can dictate what happens in it.

Plus - interaction is down. WHY, why are people going to spend HOURS writing a fanfic to post, just for people to consume it and move on like it never existed. I am not saying that anyone is beholden to anyone else, but why should content creators work and post new content without being appreciated? Fandom is a two-way street when it comes to art and fanfic.

I guess my question is this - are you sending messages to other blogs rather than the big popular ones? Are you trying to spread fandom happiness? Are you creating content? Are you a part of the solution for creating the fandom you want to be a part of?

[jungkxook]

—pour up. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader x taehyung

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / fuckboy!taehyung + smut  

⟶ words: 14,048 (idk how it’s literally just smut)

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: sleeping with both notorious frat boys kim taehyung and jeon jungkook doesn’t sound so bad ━ especially when you’re drunk and faded.

⟶ warnings: mentions of drug/alcohol use, essentially pwp lol, threesome, double penetration, voyeurism, messy rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dry humping, manhandling, doggy style, riding (sort of?), fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), face riding, face fucking, deepthroating, breast play, slight begging (mostly oc making jungkook beg hehe), brief name calling, dirty talking, unprotected sex, creampie

⟶ note: this is a repost of a fic from my old blog! also shout out to miss jlin @bratkook​ for being the sweetest and for liking this trashy fic of mine, and a happy early birthday present to @onherwings​ miss juno, the resident taekook lover!! 💛

also the accompanying song to this fic is pour up by dean!

There were times when you were sober where you were persistent about never being in a five foot radius of a frat boy, much less strip yourself of your dignity long enough to sleep with one.

Your appalling disgust and immense irritation of the male species that were frat boys kept you well in tune to your rule ━ until you’re far past the point of drunk and faded. Only then, when your bloodstream is laced with alcohol and your mind is nothing but a hazy cloud of smoke, you shrink into a shameless hypocrite and favour the appeal of a simple hook up. But you have needs too; it isn’t entirely your fault. Kim Taehyung offers you exactly that, with the promise to then act as if nothing happens the very next day so that the two of you can revert to despising one another out in public.

You act as if no one knows about your flings with ultimate frat boy Taehyung almost every weekend, as if they’re just as oblivious as you, but damn near the whole school knows and most certainly the rest of the boys in Beta Tau Sigma, or as Taehyung puts it, his brothers. It’s a useless cycle of bicker, avoid, drink, sex, and repeat, ever since you joined the school as a freshman and the sophomore boy took an interest in you. He’s charming in all the right ways and good looking but his smooth appeal was almost too good to be true and, past his “kind” smiles, you could make him out to be arrogant, vain, and cocky. Maybe you would have given him an actual chance had it not been for his snarkiness but all your brain could truly handle was his dick for a few hours a week.

Unsurprisingly, you always end up crashing at Beta Tau Sigma after one of their raging parties that results in your hook ups with Taehyung; surprisingly, Taehyung is miraculously into pillow talk post-sex and so he doesn’t entirely mind if you stay the night. But, by morning, when the alcohol has all but turned into a terrible hangover, he can hardly care less if you stay or not.

Usually, you wake up on your own, courtesy of past sober you setting an alarm on your phone to make sure you wake up earlier than all the other walkers of shame and anyone else in Beta Tau Sigma. Ideally, it was to help guarantee that no one would ever see you or judge you for stooping low enough to sleep with a fuckboy but you don’t know how well that’s working out for you anymore, if you’re being honest.

That’s why, early one fateful Sunday morning after a night of fun with Taehyung, you awaken with a start to the shrill Marimba tone that rips through the silence of the room and causes you to literally jump out of bed and crash onto the floor. You groan at the sharp pain that shoots up your spine and accompanies your groggy mind as your eyes flicker open only to be greeted with a blinding light that is the sun as it filters through the shut curtains. Littered on the ground are clothes, your clothes, beer bottles, red solo cups, discarded bed sheets, a singular condom wrapper (you thank your past selves for at least being sober enough to remember to use one), and your cell phone.

“Turn that shit off, for fuck sakes,” he grovels.

His hangover, and the early morning, makes his already deep voice even rougher, huskier, and you blame your disoriented mind for thinking he sounds even remotely sexy. He doesn’t bother to lift his head from his pillow or to find where you are in the room, the messy longer-than-usual curls of his hair flopping into his lashes as he flips onto his back. Other bodily remnants remain from the night before, from the mellowing ache between your legs left in the wake of his dick sufficiently railing you to the bite marks on his neck that you had so graciously bestowed him.

Now, you roll your eyes at him instead but dive for your phone nearby and tap the snooze button before it wakes the entire house and rouses the army of fuckboys from the dead.

“Good morning to you too,” You remark. “Is that better, princess?”

“Much.”

You push yourself to your feet and stretch, the stiff joints in your body popping and cracking, before searching for your clothes. You’re certain Taehyung has fallen back asleep as you dig around through the clutter to find your belongings but what else is new? It’s a routine the two of you have come to know well, and one that neither of you mind. You spot some sort of lacy material hidden underneath a few of Taehyung’s dirty laundry laying on the floor and reach for it thinking it’s yours. You’re only mildly disturbed to find that it isn’t yours at all ━ though you’re more concerned about the hygienic purposes of touching some other girl’s thong than you are about the blatant fact Taehyung sleeps with more girls than just you (a fact you swear you could care less for).

“Jesus Christ, your room is a disaster,” You scoff now.

“You could clean it,” Taehyung suggests sluggishly. Now, he’s awake, pretty and hooded eyes fluttering open to find you nearby. He props his hand behind his head to lift his gaze a little higher.

You snort, tossing the underwear away. “You never cease to━”

“Amaze you?”

“Repel me more than when I see the collection of thongs you have hidden in your room,” You correct. Fortunately, you spot your own underwear nearby and scoop it up, quickly slipping into them.

“Aw, baby, is that a bit of jealousy I hear?” Taehyung asks. He runs a hand through his dishevelled dark locks and shoots you a drowsy smirk. “You know you’re my one and only. I can always count on you when I want good head.”

“Please, flatter me some more, Tae,” You quip dryly.

As you hastily slide into your stiff shirt and jeans next and turn to face him, combing your fingers through your hair, Taehyung seems to take your words to heart and tries again. “You look like shit.”

You feign a voluntarily loud and overly dramatic moan. “Ugh, you really do know how to treat a girl━” Your cut off by a shameless snort from Taehyung before you continue on, “You know, you don’t exactly look the hottest right now either.”

“I beg to differ,” he replies nonchalantly. Technically, he isn’t lying, but you refuse to feed his ego any more.

“As if.”

“Funny,” he hums. “Could’ve sworn last night you were calling me hot when you were begging for my dick.”

You don’t bother to reply. Instead, you shake your head as you rub your tired face, uttering, “I need a coffee.”

“You could stay,” he offers. “I can make you one.”

“You don’t even know how to boil water,” You retort. “But thanks for the gesture. Try not to throw up on yourself today, okay?”

Taehyung mumbles something in response but then he’s already flipping over onto his side to fall back asleep again. You grab your bag from the floor and slip into your shoes before tiptoeing out of the room.

The Beta house is just as much a disaster as Taehyung’s room is and you find yourself stepping over more bottles, cups, empty pizza boxes, and hungover passed out people with phallic images doodled on their faces. The sun filters into the ever grand mansion and only illuminates the chaos the frat boys put it through. Everyone is thankfully still asleep as you head downstairs but, as you sneak past the kitchen, you notice two figures rummaging about, boisterous unabashed laughter filling the house that somehow hasn’t woken the others yet.

Jeon Jungkook stands before you with Park Jimin, both fellow Beta brothers, though Jungkook is in the same year as you. They, like most other Beta boys (and especially Taehyung), are well known on campus but Jungkook is perhaps even worse than Taehyung. Now, he’s adorned in only low hanging gray sweatpants that show off the ripples of his toned chest and the happy trail that threatens for your eyes to follow it. He holds a bowl of cereal close to him with the same arm decorated on every inch with tattoos, a snapback pushing his messy hair up and away from his forehead. The best part (and you mean that not at all) ━ or the worst ━ is the fact that he stands on a hoverboard, as if walking is too much for him to handle at nine in the morning. Jimin isn’t far off wearing the same attire, only his look is paired with the fuckboy-essential-starter-pack of socks and Adidas slides, and he’s at least actually using his legs to walk.

“Morning,” Jungkook smirks. “Time for the walk of shame?”

You have to retain a sigh. “I’m surprised you’re up, Jeon. I was sure you were gone past the point of saving last night.”

“A couple of shots do nothing for me,” Jungkook replies, shovelling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “I was pretty much sober.”

At this, you sit back on your heels and look him once over skeptically. “You kept trying to hook up with me, called your dick Jungcock, threw up in one of the vases, and then passed out in the bathtub. I wouldn’t have exactly called you sober.”

The smirk remains on Jungkook’s face. If anything, he seems more so amused and it pisses you off. Jimin bursts into a fit of laughter and shakes his head.

“Always a pleasure seeing you, Y/N,” he greets. “Hey, are you coming to the party going down at Lambdas house after exams? It’s pretty exclusive but you and your friends are all invited by courtesy of us.”

“Ugh, I can’t even think about going to another party right now. How do you Beta whores do it?” You grovel. “Besides, why would we come if we know you’re going to be there?”

“‘Cause Tae’s going and you’re probably gonna wanna suck his dick,” Jungkook suggests snidely.

“I was gonna say the free booze,” Jimin offers instead. “Man, you know the Lambdas. They’re all rich pretentious sons of country club owners. They hardly throw parties but, when they do, you know it’s going to be wild. I wouldn’t miss it if I were you.”

“Well,” You say, “thanks for the invitation but we’ll see. Maybe if we have a pre-game where I can get drunk enough to handle your faces and the Lambda boys together.”

“I’ve always said you’re more fun when you’re drunk,” Jungkook hums pensively. Your eyes narrow into a glare and you’re fortunate Jimin is there to block your path from tackling Jungkook.

“Okay, whatever,” You grumble. “I’m out of here. I think if I stay here any longer, I’ll lose all my brain cells.”

Jimin chuckles but hardly seems bothered by your comment. He waves you off as he slips out of the kitchen to retreat into another room, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Can I get you anything before you go?” he asks. There’s a cheeky tone laced in his words that makes you blatantly aware he’s trying to suggest something more, like his dick.

“Absolutely not,” You wave him off. “See you around, Jungidiot.”

He grins and shoves another spoonful into his mouth. “Hey, maybe next Saturday you can think about blowing me instead of Tae, yeah?”

He’s met with you jamming your middle finger in his face and it only seems to entertain him further. As you march out of their home, slamming the door behind you, you have one discernable thought amongst your hangover and that is that you’ll definitely need to have that pre-game before you have the audacity to even see Jungkook, or any of the Beta boys for that matter, at the Lambdas.

That Saturday, you find yourself at the Lambdas house party.

So maybe you had sort of been lying when you said you weren’t so sure of going to it, but the thought was tempting enough and you aren’t one to pass up on a good party, especially when it’s after weeks of headaches and stressing over studying and exams.

Mid-terms come and go and when you finally finish writing your last paper, all you want to do is let loose and party and get dicked down by Taehyung. The Lambdas, despite their pretentious behaviour, looks to be very promising ━ but only after you down a few shots beforehand and have a beer while you’re getting ready. You’re not exactly as drunk or as tipsy as you would have prefered but it still gives you a nice enough buzz that makes you warm and lets the adrenaline pump in your veins and excites you even more for the party. The house you rent is off campus but it’s close to Beta’s and Taehyung offers to give you guys a lift to the Lambdas who are a fifteen minute walk away (but you know Taehyung will do anything to not walk anywhere his penny board can’t take him ━ and it’s not even Taehyung who is driving but his friend, Jin).

You can hear the party at Lambdas before you’re even there. The thump of bass coming from the house isn’t hard to miss, especially not with the way it seems to rattle the ground the closer you get. The house is crammed full to capacity and people have already begun to spill onto the lawn by the time you have arrived. A potent waft of alcohol and weed fill your senses and it is all you could really make out in the rambunctious party. You can hardly hear yourself think, let alone what others are saying to you. Yet, you still found a way to have fun almost instantly, drifting away from the guys to party with your friends.

Most of the night is a blur and a haze of confusion but you can remember drinking and drinking some more until you’re sufficiently smashed. You can’t quite recall where you had lost your friends, though you suspect it was after the intense game of beer pong you were suckered into in which you were certain there were no winners or losers as it was just an excuse to drink even more. It’s nearing 1 a.m. when you finally bump into a familiar face, pulling you back from the unruly party and the adrenaline rush coursing through your veins.

You’ve just slipped outside for some fresh air, perched on the front porch, when you notice Jimin is passed out on the lawn below. The other stragglers gathered outside barely take note of him but maybe that’s because he had chosen to faceplant in the shadows under the porch, tucked safely away from the rest of the party. Just before you can even think to walk over to him and make sure he’s still alive, the front door of the house swings wide open and a frenzied Taehyung bursts outside, shortly followed by an equally dumbfounded Jungkook.

“Where the fuck is he?” Taehyung hisses.

“I don’t know,” Jungkook sighs, disgruntled, “but leave it to him to run off and disappear.”

“Looking for someone?”

The two boys startle at your voice. They whirl around to find you taking a sip of the drink in your hand, as if only just noticing your presence. You hadn’t seen them since you parted ways a handful of hours ago in the party, though you’re fairly certain they’re just as smashed as you.

“Ah, babe!” Taehyung beams wolfishly. “What a pleasure seeing you out here. Uh, you wouldn’t happen to have seen where Jimin went, would you?”

You nod in the direction of the sleeping boy down below. “He’s there. He’s passed out cold, though. What the hell did you do to him?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook says. He grimaces as he hastily follows Taehyung down onto the lawn to stand near Jimin, and you in tow. “Jimin just likes to get out of hand. What should we do, Tae? We can’t just leave him here and Luna’s going to be pissed if she sees him like this.”

Taehyung stares down at Jimin miserably, thinking momentarily. “Well, Luna’s looking for him so we might as well drop him off at her dorm. He can deal with her when he’s sober.”

There’s a brief moment where you spot Jungkook seriously considering this though, as if leaving Jimin on the lawn of a frat house is a safer option than returning him to his girlfriend. Ultimately, he caves and you watch as Taehyung nudges Jimin awake (and by nudge, you mean he slaps the boy across the face) before pulling a very disoriented Jimin to his feet and slinging one of his arms over Taehyung’s neck.

“Fuck, he’s heavy,” Taehyung huffs. “Give me a hand, Jungkook.”

Jungkook nods, stepping forward to take Jimin’s other arm and hook it around his own neck. The two boys seem to be struggling carrying most of Jimin’s body weight, though they’re carrying mostly dead weight as Jimin continues to drift in and out of consciousness.

Before they can leave you offer to help though you don’t know what you can really do so you suspect your inebriated mind just wanted to go with them for the hell of it. Luna’s place isn’t far. It’s a ten minute walk from Lambda’s, but in that ten minutes, none of you talk about anything of real importance except for chuckle and laugh about things that happened at the party.

Eventually you make it to Luna’s, who answers the door angrily after you knock on it as if you’ve disrupted her slumber and frowns when she sees Jimin’s current state. At least she has the decency to thank the three of you. When she shuts the door behind her, the three of you turn to look at one another, almost clueless.

“So, what now?” Taehyung asks. “Head back to the party?”

The thought of making the ten minute walk back to the party in your drunken mind seems like an eternity. That, mixed with the way your feet scream in agony from the heels you’re wearing, you begin to pout and shake your head.

“I can’t walk anymore,” You whine, words drunkenly slurring together. “I’d be fine just sitting here.”

Jungkook’s nose scrunches as he looks at you once over. “How drunk are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, how about we just go back to our place?” Taehyung asks. His arm slides around your waist then, tugging you close to his side. If one thing is for certain, the boy tends to get more handsy the more drunk he is, and you never seem to mind. “I’ve got a fresh bowl we can hit and we can drink there and just chill?”

You and Jungkook consider Taehyung’s offer fleetingly and, to you, it seems much more appealing.

“Sign me up,” You say. “The Lambdas were a bit too over the top for my liking. There’s only so much I can handle.”

Jungkook shrugs and nods in agreement. “Then I guess I’m going with you guys.”

The five minute walk to Beta is short and soon you’re inside the eerily empty house and climbing the steps to Taehyung’s room but not before the three of you raid their cabinets for any type of liquor. Eventually, you’re all lounging in Taehyung’s room, some type of music playing in the background as the three of you pass around a bottle of whisky and the bong Taehyung had promised he had, giggling at each other.

By 2 a.m., you are smashed and faded but blissfully so.

Taehyung and Jungkook are not too far off. It’s Taehyung who comes up with the idea to play strip poker, though with a twist. His version of the game includes: taking a shot anytime one of you loses a round along with either stripping an article of clothing or being allowed to pass it and get dared to do something else, though each person only has three passes.

Jungkook loses the first round, shedding only his jacket. Taehyung and you lose the second round; you decide to strip out of your own cardigan while Taehyung flicks off his hat. Jungkook and Taehyung lose the third round and both kick off their shoes. The game progresses slowly, with the three of you coming up with “clever” loopholes out of the rules, like stripping one sock one round and then another sock the next and all of you are too drunk to really protest. Eventually, the game winds up with Taehyung and Jungkook both in their pants and you still wearing both your shirt and jeans. Both the boys have used one of their passes and are still losing which, you will admit, boosts your confidence ever so slightly especially when you have such a nice view in front of you.

Both boys are toned, with certified gym rat Jungkook’s abs a bit more chiseled, and you know that sober you would cringe at how hard you seem to be drooling over them. Jungkook must notice because he shoots you a wink that has you squirming in your seat.

“Like what you see?” he asks.

“N-No,” You say shortly. “Shut up and go. It’s your turn.”

You end up losing that round, unfortunately, but you have no qualms with stripping out of your jeans and kicking them to the side. The next round, you lose again, except you decide to use one of your passes which has both boys groaning in defeat.

“Remember,” You coo, “play nice boys.”

The two exchange a look and you wait patiently, taking your shot of whisky in the meantime as Taehyung chides you on encouragingly with a cheeky, “Pour up, baby girl.”

You down the shot in one gulp, wincing as it burns down your throat, then chase it quickly with the drink you had stolen from their kitchen. A drowsy smirk tugs at Taehyung’s lips as he takes another rip from the bong, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he hums insouciantly, “I’ve got your dare.”

There’s a split moment where he makes eye contact with you and pushes his hair out of his eyes.

“Come here and kiss me.”

Had you been sober, you might have rolled your eyes at his simple yet assertive dare but, instead, you can’t help but snicker as you lean across to him from your seat on the floor and pull him down for a not so graceful kiss. His whisky coated tongue instantly collides with yours in an open mouthed frenzy that’s full of teeth clashing and wet sounds but it’s hot, too hot, even as Taehyung pulls you closer to him with his hand grasping at your chin. You instinctively react, teeth nipping at his lower lip as you suck hard, momentarily forgetting about Jungkook sitting in the room.

A moan emits from you as your fingers thread through his hair. Jungkook is left to watch but his eyes stay locked on your figure and the way you cave so easily to Taehyung, the way your mouth moves against his. He can’t seem to tear his eyes away from your position on your hands and knees, or the way you arch your back in an attempt to get closer to Taehyung, and he certainly can’t seem to look away from the tempting curve of your ass jutting in his direction. All Jungkook suddenly wants is for you to be kissing him the same way you’re kissing Taehyung.

You’re only interrupted when he finds the nerve to clear his throat after a few moments. “Nah, it’s alright, I’ll just sit here. Do you guys want me to leave?”

He’s being sarcastic, of course, and when you and Taehyung part to look at the boy, he’s scowling. The two of you chuckle lightly but don’t respond, though you remember the game you’re still playing. Taehyung kisses you one last time before you settle back onto the floor, a sheepish giggle bubbling in your chest. Taehyung loses the next round and he decides to strip down into his underwear though he hasn’t lost yet (the goal is nudity and neither of your drunk selves have enough dignity left to give up before then).

The round after that, you lose again. You decide, once more, to use another one of your passes and the two boys pause, thinking of a dare for you as you take a shot (which, you have realized, only get harder to take as time passes).

“I have one,” Taehyung says at long last.

“Bro,” Jungkook groans, “if you just wanna fuck, let me know. I’ll leave. I don’t think I can sit here and watch you dare her to suck your face again.”

Taehyung laughs and shakes his head. “Easy there. I was just gonna suggest that you━” he points at you before nodding toward Jungkook, “give him a lap dance.”

“A what?” Jungkook’s jaw drops open, his eyes widening. “M-Me?”

You glance up at Taehyung, quirking an eyebrow. “Him?”

Taehyung erupts into another fit of laughter but he’s the only one who finds the situation hilarious because you and Jungkook continue to sit there, dumbfounded. When Taehyung calms himself down, he wipes his eyes and shakes his head.

“Are you seriously telling me you haven’t been noticing?” he asks.

“Noticing what?”

“The way Jungkook keeps eye-fucking you,” Taehyung says simply.

Jungkook gaps. “The fuck? I haven’t.”

“Jungkook, you’re not exactly sly,” Taehyung says. “He’s been doing it the whole night, babe. It’s not the first time he’s done it, too. I just figured we could do him a little favour.”

Your turn to look up at Jungkook and purse your lips. He’s seated in Taehyung’s desk chair and has a frown painted on his face. It’s not like it comes as a surprise to you because he’s constantly trying to flirt with you even when you’re sober but his sudden flustered appearance puzzles you slightly. You’ll admit the idea is ludicrous, but Jungkook is undeniably hot, and grinding on his dick sounds more than wonderful to you in your current state. Either way, you stand to your feet.

“I’ll do it,” You say. “Why not?”

“Wh-What?” Jungkook yelps. “You will?”

“Yeah,” You flash him a pearly smirk. “What? Is confident Jungkookie finally shy?”

At the mention of the taunting nickname, he straightens up in his seat and scowls. “No. I’m just surprised you gave in so easily. You must really like me, huh?”

“Keep dreaming, Jeon,” You retort.

The music is still playing in the background as you slink towards Jungkook’s seated figure. Meanwhile, Taehyung is watching with an amused look on his face and sits back, clearly enjoying the view as he tells you that you have three minutes. As you approach Jungkook, he leans back in his seat and watches you with dark eyes. Jungkook’s eyes sweep over your figure, from the way you muse your hands through your messy hair, your tight tank top with one strap falling down your shoulder, your lacy and scantily clad underwear, and your smooth legs. He gulps at the sight and shifts in his seat.

As soon as you’re standing in front of him, you whirl around so that your back is to him and jutt your butt out just enough to catch his attention as you sway your hips to the music. Your hands ghost up your sides just faintly enough so that chills run down your spine and you lock eyes with Taehyung for a split second to see him grinning. You sit back on Jungkook’s lap and his breath hitches in his throat suddenly. He hates to admit how easily you’re driving him crazy and as soon as you are but he takes the time to enjoy the dance anyway, eyes staying trained on your ass as you grind against him in agonizingly slow circles and right against his dick nestled against his thigh. He can’t help it when a moan emits from him.

“Fucking hell,” he grunts, raking his hands through his hair. You snicker at his reaction, craning your neck to look behind at him.

“Enjoying yourself, Kookie?”

“N-No,” he rasps. This is a lie, of course. “Turn around.”

His command only humours you but you don’t disobey. You get up for a second to spin around and face him before climbing back onto his lap, swinging one leg over his. Before you drop your hips completely on him, you’re rocking them back and forth against the thin air, your hands snaking around his neck. His hands suddenly find purchase on your waist and he yanks you down onto him with a sudden neediness that surprises you, though you don’t complain. You continue to grind against his lap and you can’t help your greedy self when your hands reach out to run up and down his toned chest. He shivers at your slightest touch, his jaw clenched, but he keeps his gaze focused on your eyes, as if challenging you for more. Behind you, Taehyung is taking another hit from the bong and laughs lightly at Jungkook’s reactions.

“Let him touch you,” Taehyung says.

You expect Jungkook to listen to Taehyung and reach out to grab onto you but he hesitates, his hands remaining at your hips. So, instead, you take his hands in yours and begin pulling them up, sliding them along your midriff and up to your chest. You don’t even flinch as you let him cup your boobs over your clothes and you watch him slyly as he gulps.

“Is this the first time you’ve actually touched a girl, Jungkook?” You quip. “You’re gawking at my boobs like it is. Not gonna wet yourself, hm?”

“Fuck off,” he growls, though there’s no malice in his voice.

Instead, he focuses his attention on your breasts and the weight of them in his palm. They’re soft and supple and he squeezes them firmly, jiggles the flesh as he fondles at you blatantly. He hates to admit it but he feels as if he’s going to combust at any second, repressing the sudden urge to tear off your shirt and burrow his head in your chest, your boobs in his mouth. He doesn’t know whether the soft moan that slips from your parted pink lips is intentional to mess with him or because you had been getting carried away yourself. Either way, Jungkook’s certain it’s the hottest thing he’s heard in a while, the hottest thing he’s seen in a while, and he hates how his sudden erection forms, how embarrassing it must be. When you feel his hardened length start to poke at your thigh, you look down at him past your lashes and smirk.

“Are you hard already, Kookie?” You giggle.

Taehyung roars with laughter abruptly and the outburst only makes Jungkook redden.

“I━I━” he stammers helplessly.

You shake your head at him and then purposely press your hips a little more firmly against his, gripping at his shoulders now. You’re challenging him now too, and he doesn’t know what you have in mind but you’re wickedly set on making him cum in his pants before Taehyung stops you.

“Time’s up,” he says.

Jungkook almost groans out loud in frustration when you pull away and step off of his lap. He’s embarrassingly hard now but his drunk self doesn’t try very hard to hide it. Taehyung’s stare is settled on Jungkook as you walk back to your seat but, before you can even sit down, Taehyung is beckoning you over.

“Come here, babe,” he hums. You look at him curiously but move in his direction. “What do you say we help Jungkook with his problem, huh?”

“Help? How?” You question.

“Come sit,” Taehyung gestures to his thigh.

Jungkook watches with silent seething jealousy as you take a seat on Taehyung’s thigh and then he’s kissing you, pressing his lips against your neck. You react almost instantly, your head craning to allow him more access and your eyes clamp shut, your mouth hanging open in delight.

“Tae━” You mewl, tugging at his hair, as if to prompt him wordlessly about Jungkook’s presence. But when does it become too much? Every action seems to keep building and building, that you know where the night surely must be heading; that you crave it.

Taehyung’s tongue swirls at your neck, his lips sucking on the sensitive skin, before he peeks one eye open to look at Jungkook.

“Look at him,” Taehyung hums against you. “Look at how jealous he is right now. Look at how bad he wants to be me right now.”

You take a moment to register his words, your head spinning. You struggle to find Jungkook as Taehyung continues to ravish your neck. Jungkook’s stare is hard, his jaw clenched; his hands are balled into tight fists that let you see the bulging veins in his arms. Is he jealous? Angry?

Taehyung suddenly bites down onto your neck and you gasp in surprise, leaning against his chest. His nimble fingers find the hem of your shirt which he lifts and discards on the floor with ease. Next to come off is your bra. You don’t realize your torso is bare until a slight breeze hits your breasts and perks your nipples and Taehyung reaches up to cup the soft tissue in his large hands and Jungkook can’t look away because, fuck, touching you is all he really wants to do.

“Do you see him staring now?” Taehyung asks. “Do you see how desperate he is for you? Look at how bad he wants to touch you right now, baby girl. Will you let him?”

You’re still staring at Jungkook as Taehyung speaks and note how fast Jungkook’s demeanour has changed. He looks helpless, his erection more prominent in his straining jeans which he shamelessly palms at to feel some sort of relief.

“Better yet,” Taehyung hums, averting your attention back to him. He’s sliding one of his hands down your front and in between your legs, pushing your thighs apart. His digits come in contact with your clothed pussy and the sudden touch, light and feathery, makes you jump and gasp. You hadn’t been aware of how wet you had been until he touched you just then and the coil in your stomach only tightens with each passing second. “Will you let him play with you?”

It takes you a second to respond, though that isn’t because you’re struggling to decide. The thought entices you far more than you ever believed it could. Taehyung is suddenly rubbing his fingers against your clothed clit in so very slow circles that it suddenly has you tripping over your own thoughts. You’re biting hard onto your lower lip as you force yourself to nod hastily.

“Do you want him to?” Taehyung asks.

“Fuck, yes,” You whine. “Mmm, Tae━”

Taehyung shifts you in his lap so that your back is pressed against his chest, leaning all your weight against him. It’s hard to focus as one of his hands fondles one of your breasts while his other presses figure eights onto your clit. You’re on full display for Jungkook now, though his eyes fall to the wet spot that forms on your pretty little underwear as your arousal leaks from you.

“How badly do you want him to?” Taehyung asks.

“So badly,” You whimper.

This catches Jungkook’s attention and he leans forward in his seat. Taehyung smirks against you and then he’s moving, withdrawing his hand from between your thighs to hook around the waistband of your underwear. He gives it a quick tug and you fumble to lift your hips so he can pull the useless fabric down your legs. Once it pools at your feet, you kick it off to the side and then Taehyung’s hand returns between your thighs.

“Spread your legs,” he says.

You do as you’re told, pushing your thighs apart but then instinctively squeezing them shut when Taehyung continues to press his fingers against your clit. The sudden stimulation is too much for you and your face begins to heat up so Taehyung uses the chance to push your legs apart for you. He hitches one of your thighs over his own as if to anchor you in place and it works.

“Can you stay like that for me, baby?” Taehyung drawls. “Look at Jungkook for me.”

You nod, your throat dry as you lift your gaze to lock eyes once more with Jungkook. You find the boy gawking at your sex and you moan suddenly. His head snaps up to stare at you with a sudden blazing determination and lust in his eyes before they fall once more to your pussy, admiring the way it pulsates each time Taehyung swipes at your clit or tweaks at your nipples. But the best part? The best part is just how wet you are, your clear juices coating Taehyung’s fingers, spilling onto yours and Taehyung’s thighs with the passing seconds, and suddenly Jungkook is hungry for you. But what he doesn’t know is how you suddenly imagine Jungkook in Taehyung’s place, sat beneath you poised daintily on his lap, his fingers pressing against you.

You twist on top of Taehyung, your own hand reaching up to grasp at your other breast, pinching at the nipple tightly. A delighted moan fumbles from your lips. “Jungkook━ Fuck━”

“It’s nice, yeah?” Taehyung asks aloud to the other boy. “She’s pretty, hm?”

Jungkook nods eagerly and then groans. “She’s dripping. Fuck, it’s so hot.”

Your face burns at his words but you don’t have enough wits to think of a snarky retort like usual.

Taehyung chuckles. “Why don’t you come here then and touch her? Taste her? Is that okay, baby?”

When you realize Taehyung is asking you, you nod eagerly. “Shit, please━ Jungkook, wanna feel you━”

At your request, Jungkook practically tumbles out of his seat. As soon as he’s standing on his feet, the realization seems to hit him and he takes his time, walking to you slowly. His gaze sweeps over your exposed body and he licks his lips, his eyes suddenly darkening. Taehyung doesn’t stop touching you or marking your neck his even as Jungkook walks closer and it hits you in that moment what exactly you’re doing and who you’re with ━ and you fucking love it. Jungkook kneels down in front of you and Taehyung nods in encouragement.

“She’s impatient and feisty,” Taehyung informs. “But that makes her fun to tease.”

“I know how to pleasure a girl,” Jungkook quips.

“But you don’t know how to pleasure Y/N,” Taehyung replies. “You’re too cocky, Jungkookie, and she doesn’t like that. You need to take your time with her and you don’t do that often with girls, do you?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond but, judging by his face, you assume Taehyung is right.

“What do you want me to do?” Jungkook asks. He’s staring at your face now and only your face. His intense stare makes you squirm on Taehyung’s lap, and makes you suck your lower lip between your teeth.

“Touch me,” You rasp. “Touch me, please, Jungkook.”

God, how he loves hearing you moan his name. But the anticipation is killing you. You’ve felt Taehyung’s fingers plenty of time; you’ve never felt Jungkook’s, and the abrupt need seems to grow more intense with each passing second.

“You heard her, Jungkookie,” Taehyung says. He draws his hand away from your heat and kisses your neck softly. “Go on. Touch her. Be gentle, go slow.”

Jungkook is shaking with excitement ━ or maybe it’s just the weed and alcohol in his bloodstream ━ but he eyes you carefully, gnawing down on his lower lip. He reaches out at a tedious pace and hesitates, his fingers hovering over your core. Taehyung is watching with eager eyes whilst planting open mouthed kisses along your shoulders, neck, and jawline. Jungkook finally presses his fingers against your pussy and your reaction is immediate. You toss your head back against Taehyung’s shoulder and jutt your hips forward.

“Nnngh, fuck, Kook━” You whimper. “M-More━ Wanna feel more━”

Jungkook takes that as a good sign and follows after Taehyung, rubbing circles into your clit slowly. He feels just how wet you are, his fingers coating with your cum as they move with ease past your folds, and it’s enough to let the wave of glee wash over him again.

“See? Look how much she loves it already,” Taehyung says. “Keep going.”

Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice. As he rubs his fingers over your clit, his other hand comes up in a greedy fashion. He can’t stop himself from slipping a finger past your folds and it takes all you can not to moan out loud but you give up on the prospect of remaining quiet when it feels so good to have both boys on you.

“Let him know how you feel, baby,” Taehyung purs. “How he’s making you feel.”

You struggle to find your voice momentarily, too caught up with the lust and desire but then a cry of delight falls from your lips. “Fuck, ah, Jungkook! That feels s-so good━”

Jungkook’s head snaps up to look at you in pure disbelief.

“Holy shit, that’s so fucking hot,” he huffs. “I never thought you’d moan my name and now you’re so wet and tight and for me━”

“And me,” Taehyung admonishes offhandedly.

Jungkook doesn’t reply but that’s mostly because he’s suddenly fixated on curling his finger inside of you and watching your every reaction. Your hips jut forward and you cry out, panting at the blissful feeling but it isn’t enough. You need more, and you need more now. As if Taehyung can read your mind, he chimes in again, disrupting yours and Jungkook’s reverie.

“Why don’t you have a taste of her?” he asks. “You won’t regret it.”

Jungkook’s eyes light up and he watches as you nod eagerly, desperate pleas coming from your mouth. Jungkook lowers himself down between your thighs and you wait with bated breath before he’s licking a clean stripe against your folds with his flattened tongue. The sudden slippery warmth has your body writhing in pleasure.

“Jungkook━” You cry out. “Oh my god━”

Jungkook grins. Then he’s licking at you again, tasting your sweet succulence, and groans into your hot core.

“Shit,” Jungkook huffs. “You taste amazing.”

He nibbles down slightly on your clit without warning and tugs. You instantly jerk into his mouth, a strangled moan ripping from your throat that sounds something like a scold of his name and a desperate plea for more. “Jungkook!”

Taehyung snickers against your neck and you can feel Jungkook’s lips curl into a taunting smirk between your thighs. Jungkook’s finger still curls deep within you as his tongue returns to lapping at your clit and you can feel his nose brushing against you the deeper he burrows into you. Meanwhile, Taehyung is continuing to ravish your neck, his hands tweaking at your nipples. The onslaught of senses is so much for you that you nearly scream when Jungkook’s tongue dips into your heat so suddenly to accompany his finger. He laps at you hungrily and you gasp, your breath stuttering as your hands come down to tug hard in his raven locks, your hips bucking forward and into his mouth. It feels fantastic, too incredible for you to put into words, as you feel the wetness of his tongue lap at your walls and suddenly you’re aware of just how susceptible you are to both of the boys near you.

“Fuck, don’t stop, Jungkook,” You moan.

“Now who’s the needy one?” Jungkook coos against your cunt. “Gonna cum on my tongue?”

“P-Please━ Want it so badly, Kook━”

He smacks his lips against you, taking as much as he can of you into his mouth and sucking hard until all you hear are the lewd wet sounds of his tongue and finger working miracles against you. You’re clutching his hair so tight, pushing him closer into your heat but he doesn’t relent. One of his hands comes up to hold onto your waist, to push you firmly back onto Taehyung’s lap and closer into Jungkook’s mouth. You can feel Taehyung’s budding erection poking against your thigh and it’s enough to make you flustered once more.

In an attempt to help Taehyung, you find yourself grinding not only into Jungkook’s mouth but onto Taehyung’s lap, earning a growl into your neck. Taehyung’s free hand comes up to your chin which he grabs roughly. He forces you to look at him and then he’s smashing his lips onto yours in a heated fashion for an entirely ungraceful kiss. It’s needy and hot, completely open mouthed as your tongues mingle in the air and as Taehyung sucks on your lower lip. Yet you tear your gaze from Taehyung to look down at Jungkook as he buries himself further into your pussy, his nose nuzzling against your clit. You’re dripping by now and you can see your own juices smear onto his lips, dribble down to his chin, and it’s the hottest thing you could ever imagine seeing. He doesn’t seem to care as it spills down his neck and suddenly the mere sight has you squirming again. You part from Taehyung’s mouth with a wet pop that rings in your ears and moan.

“Fuck━ nghn, I━I━ think I’m close,” You whimper.

“Fuuck, yes,” Jungkook growls against you.

“Let it go, baby,” Taehyung hums, nibbling at your ear. “Cum for him, for us.”

Jungkook’s pace quickens, pumping his finger faster in you and sucking at your clit until you have no more strength to hold off. Your hands fumble in his hair, trying desperately to pull him closer, and you hate how badly you want your sweet release already. It doesn’t help when Taehyung twists your body ever so slightly so that he can lean down to your breasts and catch one of your nipples between his teeth. His tongue swishes back and forth against the perked bud and you whimper again, the coil in your stomach tightening and loosening.

You’re so close now and Jungkook can hear it, can feel it, can taste it. You don’t have much longer after that before your orgasm is hitting you hard.

“I’m gonna━” You reach out to grasp at Jungkook’s hair, tugging at the roots. “Fuck, Jungkook━”

You cry out suddenly, the coil in your stomach springing apart. Jungkook moans into your pussy as you cum, pulsating around his tongue and finger and dripping into his mouth. You’re reduced to nothing but a whimpering, writhing mess against Taehyung as you buck back and forth into Jungkook’s mouth to ride out your high. Taehyung pulls apart from you to rub circles into your hips and the seemingly gentle move somehow soothes the intense wave of pleasure into something much sweeter. Fire burns at your core and flicks outward until your whole body is warm and numb and then you collapse against Taehyung’s chest, panting hard. Jungkook drinks up every last bit of you and you begin to cringe at the oversensitivity before you gain some of your wits again. You push his head away hastily and this time he relents.

“Did all your little happy wet dreams finally come true, Jeon?” You snicker languidly.

The boy sits back on his knees and looks up at you, locking gazes with yours. You can finally see his face, his tousled black hair, his swollen red lips, and chin, all of which are covered in your perfect sheen. He licks at his lips and wipes at his chin and neck where his tongue can’t reach and he does all of this without breaking eye contact with you. A small smirk forms on his face and suddenly you’re filled with an intense need for payback.

“Yeah, you act confident now but you seemed to enjoy it when you were riding my face,” Jungkook says. You roll your eyes, about to reply before he adds, “So, you’re welcome.”

“You’re impossible,” You huff, pushing yourself off of Taehyung’s lap.

“Where do you think you’re going, baby?” Taehyung mewls behind you. “We still need you.”

“Oh, I know,” You quip. You reach down to grab onto Jungkook’s chin, forcing him to look up at you. “But it’s my turn, don’t you think, Tae?”

Taehyung chuckles and nods in agreement. Jungkook, however, hardly looks bothered, though he seems a little taken aback by your sudden assertiveness when you begin pulling him up to his feet before pushing him back onto the bed. Taehyung scoots over so that the three of you can fit comfortably on his bed and then you’re moving, crawling over to Jungkook on your hands and knees.

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” Jungkook asks. “Because this is sexier than it is scary.”

You’re hovering over his crotch when he speaks, your greedy hands reaching forward to brush against his hard dick straining in his jeans. He nearly jolts in his seat at the sudden touch and you and Taehyung giggle again.

“Mmm, baby, teach him a lesson,” Taehyung hums. “Suck him off nice and slow but don’t let him cum.”

“Not unless he begs for it,” You say wickedly.

Taehyung stifles a chuckle. “I told you she’s feisty, Jungkookie.”

The younger boy is eyeing you carefully as you busy yourself by undoing the belt buckle on his jeans. He acts unimpressed, unfazed, as you unbutton his jeans and began sliding them off his legs, but you can see the needy and impatient glint in his eyes. Your eyes fall immediately to the ever present straining bulge in his boxers and you gulp in response, licking your lips. You can’t help yourself when you reach out to brush your fingers faintly along his length. He jolts in his seat and grits his teeth, shooting you a hard glare.

“Are you seriously going to tease me?” Jungkook grumbles. “We can skip all of that, y’know━”

“It’s payback, Jeon,” You hum, running your fingers down his dick and then back up again. “Where’s the fun in it if I skip all of the teasing?”

“You know,” Taehyung murmurs from beside you. He’s reclining back, watching you with intense eyes and is completely shameless about his prominent erection contained by his boxers. “I’m surprised the idiot hasn’t referred to his dick yet as Jungcock.”

You giggle, an all too innocent and sweet sound for the way you’re palming at Jungkook’s dick. Jungkook, who is apparently having a rather difficult time keeping up with his surroundings while your fingers continue to work against him, scoffs. His eyebrows knit together as he throws a beady glare at the older boy.

“You’re ruining the mood,” he grunts.

Taehyung clicks his tongue against his teeth, a smirk tugging at his luscious lips. “Of course. I digress.”

You turn your attention back to Jungkook who’s staring down at your hand with parted lips and a crease in his brows. Without warning, you grasp him through his boxers and he groans suddenly, bucking forward. The desperation of his situation only seems to increase in severity when you peel back the elastic band of his boxers and slide them off his legs, finally freeing his dick which springs out from it’s confines. He’s much bigger than you expected, his tip angry and red, leaking with pearly beads that dribble down his length and the bulging veins that line it.

“You’re staring again,” Jungkook hums when he notices you pause, your eyes wide. “Sure you don’t like what you see?”

You shake yourself from your daze and frown. “Shut up.”

The boy starts to chuckle at your flustered expression but yelps when you clasp your fingers around the base of his cock. A beautiful moan falls from his lips and excites you even more. You start pumping him slowly, guiding your hands up and down his length in careful and measured motions, wiping your thumb across his tip each time you reach it. Jungkook shudders in your touch, his teeth coming down to gnaw hard on his lower lip. His eyes are glued to your hands working against him, his face scrunching up in pure euphoria.

“Mmm, fuck,” he grunts, his head lolling back. “Stop teasing me and go faster.”

You don’t listen. If anything, you slow your pace and it has him so frustrated that he lets an involuntary whimper escape him. He bucks into your clenched hand, practically begging for more but remains quiet, safe for his heavy panting.

“You heard her, Kook,” Taehyung says. “Beg for her.”

“There’s no way I’m begging,” Jungkook hisses through gritted teeth. “Never. I never have and never will.”

“Bullshit,” You scoff. You fondle at his balls with your other hand and he moans again. Your hand comes to a complete halt all of a sudden, interrupting Jungkook as he is about to speak. Before he can protest, you lean down and lick at his tip, swirling your tongue around him once to taste his saltiness. His hips rut forward into you but you pull back almost immediately and find Jungkook gaping. You meet his desperate eyes for a steady gaze. “Beg. Just once, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook’s stare wavers as you run your fingers along his tip, squeezing slightly. He tries to compose himself, to remain calm, but when you are relentless, he caves very easily. He only gives in when you kiss the base of his cock. And those eyes ━ fuck, the way your eyes turn so wide and already look so fucked out. How could he resist you?

“Fuck, fuck, okay,” he gasps. “I need more, baby, please. Ah, please━ You feel so fucking good.”

His needy pleas satisfy you and your lips curl into a devious grin. You lower yourself on him suddenly, licking a clean stripe up his length and he moans loudly. You enclose your mouth around his tip and suck, earning a small growl from him as he pushes his hips forward for more. In the next second, you sink your mouth down his length, taking as much of him as you can.

“Fuck!” he moans abruptly. “Ahh, shit, that feels amazing, baby.”

You hollow out your cheeks as you pull your head up and then back down, starting at an even pace that has him moaning and writhing beneath you. He feels much bigger in your mouth but you don’t mind even when he bucks himself into you unexpectedly and hits the back of your throat. The action makes you gag around him and, in return, he curses at the way it feels.

“K-Keep doing that,” he mumbles. “Please, fuck, just like that.”

His fingers thread in your hair and he pulls you down greedily on him but you don’t refuse.

“Can you do it, baby girl?” Taehyung questions. His hand finds his way on your back where he rubs gentle circles into your skin. “Can you take all of him in your mouth?”

You nod carefully around Jungkook’s hardened length.

“Good girl,” Taehyung smirks. “Go slow.”

You follow his orders, sinking gradually onto Jungkook until you feel the tip of him hitting the back of your throat. You gag once more but, instead of pulling back, you shut your eyes and take a few deep breaths in through your nose. In, out, in, out, and then you swallow. Jungkook’s reaction is sudden and intense. He bucks into your mouth unwillingly and moans even louder, his fingers clutching at your roots.

“That’s it, baby,” Taehyung hums and his sudden presence is comforting.

“A-Again,” Jungkook stammers. “Again, please━ holy shit, you feel amazing.”

You swallow again and then a third and each time you can feel yourself sinking lower onto him. Tears prickle at your eyes as your nose is suddenly pressed against his lower abdomen but his reactions are well worth it and so you continue.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Taehyung says, planting a chaste kiss against your shoulder. “You deserve some more attention, hm?”

His fingers slowly rub circles down your back, his lips following your arch and has you shivering beneath him, before stopping at the dip just above your ass. He’s kneeling behind you now, his fingers massaging into your thighs. You sigh against Jungkook when you feel Taehyung’s fingers continue their trek to your ass, rubbing you carefully. You, in response, push your hips back, waiting for more.

“You’re still so wet, baby,” Taehyung says. “I bet you’d come with one touch of my finger.”

With Jungkook buried hilt deep inside your mouth, you’re hardly prepared for when Taehyung slips his fingers underneath to your folds. It’s embarrassing to admit how right he is. You react instantly, moaning around Jungkook and jutting your hips back for more. The simple vibration has Jungkook groaning, his hips bucking forward. You hadn’t even been aware of just how wet you are before Taehyung pointed it out but then you can feel it, pulsing out of you and dripping down the top of your inner thighs.

“But you need more, don’t you?” Taehyung asks. “How about my cock? Will you let me fuck you, baby girl?”

You nod eagerly, the simple question exciting you even more. Taehyung chuckles and leans down to press a kiss to the arch of your back.

“But you’ll have to be good and keep pleasuring Jungkook too, okay?” Taehyung says.

You hum in response and swallow around Jungkook as if to tell both boys that you have no plans on stopping. Jungkook twitches inside you and scrunches his eyes shut.

“Fuck, Taehyung,” he grumbles. “Hurry up. Any time you touch her, she swallows. It feels so good.”

Taehyung snickers but he takes his time. He runs his fingers up and down your folds until you’re moaning needily against Jungkook. You look over your shoulder to see Taehyung’s fingers wrapped around his own hardened and pulsating erection, pumping himself a few times as he stares at you carefully. He positions himself behind you and takes the chance to run his tip and length along your folds. You whimper suddenly, hoping your desperate noises will spur him on.

“You want more, baby?” Taehyung asks.

You hum again, your voice muffled and hoarse.

“Okay,” he sighs. “Only because you’ve been so good.”

You have no time to brace yourself from the sudden impact of feelings. He doesn’t do much except for push himself into you, past your folds. It’s only just the tip and yet your heart jolts in your chest, the coil in your stomach tightens. It feels so good to finally have something of larger girth in you that you gap, simultaneously sinking down further onto Jungkook. The two boys grunt above you, both of them panting hard.

“You feel so good, baby,” Taehyung mumbles. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

He leans down to press a kiss against your shoulder, his other hand coming up to rest on the dip of your lower back to guide you. He slowly, so very slowly, pushes himself into you, inch by inch, so you can feel the way he stretches you open, feel the way he buries into you. Your leaking arousal only proves to be of an advantage, letting him easily push into you without any trouble. Your fingers grip the bed sheets beneath you in an ironclad grip and you squeak when he’s finally buried hilt deep within you. You nearly gag around Jungkook again, who’s still panting and writhing above you, but the way Taehyung’s tongue marks patterns into your shoulder comforts you. You whine against Jungkook, pushing your hips back for more and the simplicity of your action has Taehyung’s breath hitching in his throat.

“So warm,” he grunts and then sighs against your back. “You always feel so amazing.”

He still hasn’t moved and you’re beginning to grow impatient, distraught over the feeling of him rock hard inside you but unmoving. You debate pulling apart from Jungkook to yell at Taehyung but you assume he can understand your haste judging by the way your body writhes beneath him, your fingers clench into fists. He pulls out in one languid movement, his breath stuttering, until only his tip is left before he pushes himself back in, equally as slow. He sets at a steady, easy pace that, at the very least, lets you grasp onto some sensible thoughts and pushes you to keep pleasing Jungkook. Jungkook can’t take it anymore; he starts rutting his hips up into your mouth with gritted teeth. It’s a hot, erotic mess of mingled moans and groans but you never want it to stop ━ in fact, you want more.

“You like that, baby?” Taehyung grunts.

You nod hurriedly, humming in response.

“Ah, fuck━” Taehyung groans. “Want it harder?”

You nod once more, this time eagerly. When Taehyung pulls back one more time, he slams himself back into you without any warning and you jerk forward, sinking down onto Jungkook. The younger boy moans, his head lolling back as his fingers twisting in your hair. You don’t expect Taehyung to do the same thing again, pull out slowly and then push himself back in with more force, but he does, and he repeats the action again and again until he abandons it for a whole new pace. Soon, he’s thrusting into you hard and fast but always making sure his hips reconnect with yours before pulling out so you can feel him practically in your throat.

“Like being fucked like this?” Taehyung asks. “You like being used like a little slut?”

His thrusts are relentless suddenly, jerking your body and back and forth until he’s fucking you in a way that has you sucking off Jungkook just right so that you hardly have to put in any effort. Although his hard thrusts feel amazing, each time you’re pushed forward, you sink further down onto Jungkook unwillingly and that, paired with the way Jungkook frantically fucks himself into your mouth, you nearly gag each time as he hits the back of your throat, drool pooling at your lips and dribbling down your chin. Tears prick at your eyes from the feeling and it’s too pleasing to quit, to pull away from Jungkook just yet. Jungkook’s staring down at you when he notices your scrunched up face. You’re surprised when his hand finds your cheek, his thumb brushing reassuringly into your cheekbone.

“You’re doing so━ ah, fuck━ so well, baby,” he rasps.

You can taste the saltiness of precum on the tip of your tongue and you wonder how close he is. You have no qualms in finishing him off then and there but soon the pleasure you’re receiving from Taehyung becomes too much. Soon, he’s hitting you at an angle that shakes something in you. You pull apart from Jungkook with a loud pop, saliva and cum coating his length and your lips, and a gasp wretches from your throat.

“Fuck!” You cry hoarsely. “Ah, T-Taehyung!”

You’re too weak to push yourself up and end up burying your head in Jungkook’s lower abdomen, feeling the heat consume you. You’re near numb, senseless, as you let Taehyung ravish your body, fuck you hard into the mattress and Jungkook. It’s a frantic build up, an intense wave of emotions that you seem to pass through, and you can hardly bring yourself to react. All you can hear is the sound of moaning and skin against skin and the heat seems to make its way up to your head, making you warm and fuzzy. Jungkook gently pulls at your face, lifting you up and bringing you to him so that he can smash his lips onto yours and all you can taste is bitter liquor, you, and him, but that doesn’t stop him from sucking on your lower lip even when you pull apart to moan and gasp.

“T-Tae,” You sob. “Fuck, Tae, I━I’m c━close━”

“Cum for me, baby girl,” he murmurs. “Let me hear you.”

You shake your head frantically at the sensitive sting between your legs still raw from your orgasm from Jungkook, shutting your eyes. Taehyung’s hands find their way onto your hips and he pulls you down his length until you’re balls deep and pauses. He lifts your hips and you can feel him twitch inside you that it even makes your own thighs tremble and shake. You’re sure you’ll collapse on him if he doesn’t hold onto you and he must realize this too because he grips your hips tight to continue thrusting into you. Soon you’re tumbling towards your high. Taehyung’s pumps are frantic, growing sloppy with each passing second, as he pushes you to yours and his high. The coil snaps in your stomach again and you’re in a moment of freefall where you’re stunned by the wave of pleasure. Then, Taehyung is bringing you back down to reality with his hard thrusts, the way he moans, and the lewd wet sounds of him pumping himself into you.

“Ah, T-Tae━” You whimper. “So good, fuck━”

His name falls from your lips in a repeated mantra. You crumble beneath him, collapsing entirely against Jungkook, who’s brushing your hair away from your face. You’re shaking with each touch, your walls pulsing around Taehyung and clenching hard. He moans and curses behind you and you know he must be close to his high because he, too, is fumbling for it. His thrusts are even more hasty and soon he’s reaching his climax. His moans increase in volume and his thrusts become sloppier until he finally pulls his cock from your walls and nearly collapses against your back.

With his hand clenched tightly around his shaft, he jerks himself off until he’s releasing onto your back in white hot spurts. He’s panting hard, sweat coating his forehead, but he takes the time to press chaste kisses along your back and shoulders as the two of you attempt to calm your shrill hearts. It’s silent in the room for a moment despite your panting breaths. Taehyung takes a moment to grab his discarded shirt and wipe at the mess he’s made before he collapses next to you at long last with a huff of air. You moan wearily, rolling off of Jungkook to lay on your back between the two.

“God, you’re amazing,” Taehyung sighs.

You giggle up at the boy and lean towards him to kiss. His fingers rake in your hair and a few silent seconds pass before you’re nearly back to an even breathing pace. That’s when you notice Jungkook, his hand gripped tightly around his still painfully hard dick.

“Jungkook,” You pur his name, catching his attention. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he quips.

“It’s your turn,” Taehyung points out. Jungkook glances at Taehyung and then down at you, quirking an eyebrow.

“W-Well, I just thought━” Jungkook stammers. “I just thought you’ve had enough. It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“I call bullshit again,” You scoff.

“Baby girl,” Taehyung hums, “do you want Jungkookie to fuck you?”

You nod eagerly but Jungkook doesn’t seem too convinced, or maybe he’s hesitant. Taehyung’s eyeing him closely, curiously, before he gaps. He bursts out into a fit of chuckles, earning both yours and Jungkook’s attention.

“Shit, of course,” Taehyung grins. “He’s probably gonna let go the minute he’s in you. You’re close, hm?”

“Only because she’s already been down on me,” Jungkook grumbles.

“You know that’s not it,” Taehyung replies. “You’ve been wanting this forever.”

Jungkook’s eyes suddenly darken as he glares at the older boy. “Taehyung.”

“Wait, what?” You ask, turning to gawk at both.

“Jungkook has a little crush on you,” Taehyung smirks. “This is all he’s ever wanted. I bet he’ll bust a nut the second he fucks you and he’s embarrassed.”

You gasp as you turn to face Jungkook who looks entirely disgruntled but you’re more shocked about the fact that Jungkook likes you than anything else. Jungkook, notoriously arrogant fuckboy, who’s seemingly made it his mission to give you a headache every waking moment by trying to flirt with you. And maybe you’ve always sort of known it; maybe you’ve always sort of felt the same.

“That’s not true!” Jungkook protests. “I━I━ Well, Tae hardly finishes when he’s with another girl. He’s jacked off to the thought of you before, too━”

Taehyung starts. “Fuck off━”

You’re stuck between the bickering boys, staring up at both of them with a dumbfounded expression. Before either boy can strangle the other, you’re speaking up and interrupting them.

“I don’t mind,” You say. “I’m just… surprised.”

Both boys are silent now, aggravated probably, and you giggle. You reach up to rake your fingers in Taehyung’s hair and then look up at Jungkook, using your other hand to grab onto his chin once more and force him to face you.

“Come here, you idiot,” You drawl. “I want you to fuck me. Wanna feel your dick.”

Jungkook seems taken aback but then his eyes are sweeping down your body and he writhes in his seat. Before he can protest, you’re pulling him down onto you to kiss. It’s passionate and rough but hot altogether as your lips smack against one anothers. Jungkook’s desperate situation seems to hit him again, especially when you snake one of your hands down to his length and wrap your fingers around him to jerk him off. He pulls apart from you, gulping.

“Fuck, okay, okay,” he gasps. “I need to be in you right now, please.”

You and Taehyung smirk as Jungkook shifts around on the bed to kneel between your legs. He pauses, glancing up at you once more and noting the way you bite your lower lip seductively, before finally pushing himself in. He goes slow, but not as gradual as Taehyung. You can still feel him stretching you open and he groans. He seems to slide the rest of the way in with a lewd squelch sound because of just how wet you are and then he’s buried balls deep, fitting so snug within you.

“Holy shit,” he whines. “You weren’t kidding, Tae. She feels amazing.”

Taehyung hums in agreement. “What does she feel like? Let her know, Kookie.”

Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut momentarily to focus. “Wet,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Warm, tight ━ fuck, so tight.”

He marvels at the feeling, wonders how you can still clench so tightly around him despite being stretched wide by Taehyung. He bows his head to rest in the crook of your neck and moans. His words are enough to spur on your own reaction and you whimper against him.

“Oh, fuck, Jungkook━”

The sensitivity you feel in your core met with his hard cock makes you cringe but simultaneously pleases you and you’re bucking your hips for more. He groans at the feeling, his hands flying down to grip your hips. He’s big, stretching you wide, but you feel anything but pain except for the sharp burning sensation as the intensity of your past orgasms start to hit you. He rolls his hips back and then thrusts into you so hard that you yelp and jerk back on the bed.

“Go easy on her, Jungkook,” Taehyung admonishes. “She’s not a doll.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook sighs, nipping at your throat. “You just feel so good, Y/N.”

“I’m okay,” You reassure. You feel his length twitch within you and your head lolls back. “Fuck, I feel more than okay.”

“Can we try something?” Taehyung asks.

He receives two weak nods in response. Jungkook pauses, shifts the two of you until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips, his dick never once slipping from your core. The older boy grabs onto you and yanks you onto his hips.

“What do you say we give Y/N the pleasure she deserves?” he asks. He pushes his length past your folds and is rewarded by the sound of your moans as your jaw unhinges. “Think you can handle both of us, baby?”

“Fuck, yes,” You gasp.

Jungkook seems just as enticed by this. He’s careful as he pushes his cock into you and your reaction is explosive. With Taehyung already stretching you wide, you wonder how Jungkook will fit but it’s snug and perfect. You can feel him stretching you further, inch by glorious inch, and he hasn’t even begun moving when your walls clench around the two of them. Taehyung hisses in your ear and Jungkook pauses at once, sputtering for air, giving you time to adjust. When Jungkook pushes himself further into your cunt, rubbing against Taehyung’s cock and your own walls, you can’t help the delicious moan that falls from your lips.

“Oh my god,” You whimper. “Fuck, fuck, that feels so fucking good━”

It’s such a sticky, hot mess, and all you can hear is the sound of guttural moans and grunts. You jut your hips forward, a silent plea for something more. Jungkook’s hand grasps at your ass and then he’s pulling out. He growls suddenly, thrusting his hips forward and the sensation suddenly overwhelms you. As he picks up a pace that leaves you breathless, Taehyung slowly thrusts into you and the pleasure becomes too much. Your hands reach out to grab at anything, fingers digging eagerly into Jungkook’s chest, Taehyung’s sides.

“Oh, fuck,” Jungkook grunts. His face is scrunched in pleasure and concentration, his mouth hanging open.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Taehyung growls. “You like being stretched wide like this, huh? Such a good girl too. Fuck━”

He’s sweating, but so are you, and all you can hear is the sound of yours and the boys’ moans, the vulgar wet slap with each thrust Jungkook makes. It’s only amplified with each small leisurely thrust Taehyung makes into your throbbing pussy, his dick rubbing against Jungkook’s with each thrust. Your walls tighten around Jungkook and Taehyung as the seconds pass and you know you’re already close to your third orgasm of the night but you try to hold off despite the room spinning. All you can do is lay there for Jungkook to ravish and control, for Taehyung to enjoy, too caught up in the moment. Your breasts bounce wildly with each thrust Jungkook makes and his gaze seems fixated on your chest before flickering down to watch himself disappear inside you each time. Taehyung is raking his fingers through your hair, soothing you through your next climax and it’s close.

“Fuck,” Jungkook hisses, panting hard. “I’m not gonna last.”

You push your hips forward as if to probe him on and he growls.

“No, shit, let me enjoy this, baby,” he whines. “Ah, so tight━”

He’s grumbling to himself, cursing under his breath and you smirk tiredly. Jungkook leans his head down to kiss at your chest, catching one of your nipples in his warm mouth. His tongue swishes back and forth over the perked bud and your chest arches into his face. Your fingers are clutching tight at his hair even as he obeys and adds more force with each thrust, slowly picking up his pace. His mouth widens and he sinks lower on your breast, humming against you in pleasure. Taehyung’s own pace quickens. It’s not as relentless as Jungkook’s but he makes sure to help aid you to your high, ramming his hips into yours until both their cocks slip into a seamless pattern. All you can focus on is the crude wetness, the way their dicks threaten to slip from your hold at how sloppy and wrecked your cunt becomes.

“Ah, yes,” You hiss. “Fuck, yes, yes━ So good, oh my god━ Right there━”

Your voice is cut off by a loud moan. You feel the familiar wave hit you once more and this time you hardly have any strength to fight it off or welcome it.

“I can’t━” You wail suddenly. “Fuck, I can’t━ I’m gonna cum━”

You’re fumbling for words to warn him that you’re close before you’re cuming around them. Their names wrench from your throat in no discernible pattern, accompanied by vulgar curses. Your body writhes between the two boys, your chest arching into his mouth, your legs tightening around Jungkook’s waist.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Jungkook coos. “Come on, wanna feel you cream all over us━”

Stars form behind your eyelids and explode into galaxies as they swirl down your spine and to the tip of your toes, making them and your fingers curl in delight. Your vision grows blurry and tears stream down your face at the build up of pressure finally being released for the third time and you can’t help it when your mantra turns into delighted sobs and whimpers. You’re clenched so tight that Jungkook feels as if he hardly has any space to move and the confinement of his length has him gasping. He pulls apart from your breast to watch your scrunched up face with hooded eyes. He moans again, and desperately leans down to suck at your jawline.

You’re too spent to keep up with him or Taehyung as he helps you further to your high but you know Jungkook is close when his thrusts become messy, quick spurts. You gasp each time he thrusts up into you until he’s finally cuming.

“Shit,” he hisses. “Gonna cum━ Gonna let us fill you up, baby?”

“Please, please, wanna feel it,” You mewl.

He slams his hips into yours and stills for a moment as he releases into you in one hot wave and emits a beautiful moan of your name. You’re panting hard even as he rides out both your highs with a few more incredibly sloppy pumps before he finally collapses against your chest. The two of you are struggling to catch your breaths, your heart beating in your ears.

The room is silent, blissful, and it takes you a few moments of basking in it before you’ve regained your breath. Your fingers rake in Jungkook’s soft and sweaty hair and you hum in content. His mouth presses a few open mouthed and hot kisses along your neck and jawline before connecting with your own mouth. This time, the kiss is chaste and you smile against his lips before he’s pulling out of you. You moan at the missing feeling of his warmth and the way his own cum leaks from your core, down Taehyung’s cock, and your own thighs.

But Taehyung isn’t done. He thrusts up into you to ride out his own high, pushing Jungkook’s release back into you. His pace is steady, deep, and all you can both do is moan and gasp for air.

“Fuck, Tae,” You rasp tiredly. “Cum for me, baby.”

The boy gasps for air, nearly fumbling behind you to reach his high. “Gonna make this pussy mine. Fuuck━”

When Taehyung finally reaches his own high, it’s in another sticky stream of hot cum, each fluid mingling with the other in a pitiful mess. He pulls his slackened length from you and you whimper at sudden the loss, core and legs aching. As you slide onto the bed between the two tired and breathless boys, Jungkook wipes at your glistening core with a shirt and you sigh in content.

“Why haven’t we done that before?” You gasp, earning a chuckle from both. Jungkook lets out a boisterous laugh and you flick his arm. “If you say anything dumb, we’re never having a round two.”

“Round two?” he asks, wriggling his brows. “You want this to happen again?”

You nod, though you can already start to feel yourself succumb to sleep as it creeps upon you. “What do you think, Tae?”

“I think,” The older boy hums, “that’s your best idea yet.”

Jungkook seems surprised, excited even, and you smile sleepily. Taehyung throws his arm over your waist and pulls your back to his chest, wrapping you in his arms as he slips off to sleep. 

Before you fall asleep that night, you snake your arm up Jungkook’s chest and let your hand rest against his beating heart which you can still feel beating shrilly even long after your messy night together.

You awake to the familiar sound of your alarm.

It’s loud, annoying, and jolts you awake only to toss you into a haze of muddled confusion and an incredibly terrible hangover. Your head throbs and your body aches. Sunlight splashes in from the closed blinds and illuminates your face, making you squint.

“Turn that off, Jesus Christ, Y/N,” Taehyung snaps, his voice muffled and aggravated.

Your mind is too groggy to realize he’s sleeping next to you, too groggy to suddenly remember what happened the night before. Until, of course, you feel your limbs tangled with not only Taehyung’s but another’s. When you crane your neck to look, you see Jeon Jungkook splayed out beside you sleeping peacefully and you gasp.

The events of the night before suddenly flood your mind and everything is hazy up until your wild time with the two boys. Your muddled sober mind alerts your heart and suddenly it’s beating hard and fast in your chest as you register the situation. You’re used to waking up with a naked Taehyung by your side but never were you used to waking up next to a naked Taehyung and Jungkook.

Jungkook stirs in his sleep then and you curse silently, diving for your phone on the floor before realizing your drastic mistake. Your core is still tender and your legs feel so delicate, nearly caving in beneath you as you wobble precariously. Somehow, you manage to grab your phone and tap the snooze button hastily. Taehyung’s still half asleep on his side but Jungkook lays on his back and you’re surprised to see him looking up at you with a quirked eyebrow and a tiny smirk.

“Don’t you dare say anything,” You hiss. “Holy shit, that wasn’t a dream?”

You gnaw on your lower lip and reach down blindly to grab the nearest article of clothing on the floor (one of Taehyung’s shirts) to toss over your bare body. To soothe your aching muscles, you resort to kneeling on the edge of the bed.

“It wasn’t,” Taehyung murmurs.

“Nice to know you think our dicks are dream worthy though,” Jungkook snorts. “So when’s our round two?”

Your promise from the night before dawns on you all too suddenly and, though you feign your usual annoyance for both boys, the potential prospect of another night with the two of them thrills you to no end.  

“I━ I━” You stammer.

“Come back here, baby,” Taehyung muses. “It’s too early to be up right now. You can sleep a bit longer before you pretend you hate the both of us.”

Your eyes flicker down to your phone to check the time: 6 a.m. You can barely walk, let alone function this early in the morning, even without the added stress of your hangover, and sleep seems far too appealing to ignore. Maybe you can stay for a few more hours…

“Fine,” You grumble. You crawl back between them and wiggle around until you’re laying back on the bed. “But you’re making me that cup of coffee when I wake up, Taehyung.”

“Anything else, princess?” Taehyung grins.

“Maybe run me a bath too,” You wince as you settle back against the bed. “Everything hurts.”

“Will do,” Jungkook says. “Gotta do the most to make sure we get that second round. Now, come here━”

The boys snicker and, soon, the three of you have slipped back into a peaceful slumber.

You know that when you wake you’ll profusely deny that the night before and the morning after had ever happened; that you’ll never again find yourself in either Jungkook’s or Taehyung’s bed, much less with the both of them at the same time ━ but you find that you never really listen much to rules anyway.

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.

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[katerinabythesea95]

Me, playing Cannibal Corpse full blast in her bedroom while screaming into her hands at her desk: me? Stressed? Not at all🙄😩

Here are some songs I feel go good with this (I've only heard a tiny bit of canibal corpse, idk their songs, but they definitely sound perfect for letting out frustration and anger. I'm sorry you've been stressed lately 😔

Pt two in my second blog @graciesinclair81

Blood in the water pt 1(reader x Sinclair brothers, house of wax au)

Warnings: mentions of child abuse, plot to murder, cheating.

A/N:Okay so my mind came up with so many scenarios, but this one In particular stood out. It takes place way back when, before Ambrose was home to more than just our fav greasy brothers. So I'm gonna have to say...1991 . Victor Sinclair is still alive in this au. Also for some reason this turned into a small back story intro for him and Trudy.

So without further adieu, Here's part one

*Your pov*

My mind had finally snapped. My worst nightmare had become reality. Everything finally came crashing down on me like a sh**load of bricks and cement. I wasn't angry; oh, no. I was beyond that. I was seething, all I saw was literally tinted in red. My eyes were bloodshot and my face was soaked in tears of pure frustration, pain and hurt. My boyfriend of not one, but two years had been cheating on me. I found out when I went to pay him a surprise visit...

*Flashback*

"Thanks for shopping here with us, have a great day." I smile at the current customer I'd been tending to. My boss, Mr. Daniels, walks into the room.

"Okay kids,I'll be leaving town for the weekend to see my folks, see y'all on Monday, have a great weekend." He announces to my coworkers and me.

We finish tending to the remaining customers and file out of the small building. I step outside and the smell of coffee and cooking food is replaced by fresh air and the usual country smell of Ambrose. I love our quaint little town. It ain't flashy, the streets arent correctly paved, and despite the townsfolk best efforts, the small buildings are showing signs of aging. Nevertheless, it's home.

"So, y/n, you goin' to the theater tonight?" My best friend, Daisy asks excitedly as we walk, her curly blonde ponytail swinging with each of her steps. I smile wide. "Of course, James and Ive been wanting to see Halloween five forever." I say. (Usually by the time a movie is showed at ambrose, it's outdated.)

I noticed Buster, Daisy's boyfriend, and James' best friend was unusually quiet. He had his hands jammed in his pockets and his head low. He was usually a jokester chatterbox. He Always had something to say and it's rare to see his signature grin off his face, but lately he's been acting strange, and he seemed to avoid talking to James and I.

"Buster, you've been actin'...quiet lately. What's wrong?" I ask and stop walking. Daisy follows suit.

He looks up and looks at us with a frown.

"I don't know what You're talkin' about."

I squint my eyes at him. I hate when people played dumb. This boy is definitely hiding something.

"Buster, cut the crap. Anything you wanna tell me?" I demand, crossing my arms and staring him down.

It was a technique my poppa taught me and my brothers. We called it the Sinclair stare. People tend to get intimidated when they're being watched with intensity, and they'll confess if you subject it to them long enough, just to get you to stop.

His eyes flicker from me to daisy and the ground restlessly for a few moments. Daisy was wearily looking between us.

"You know what? Why don't you just go ask your boyfriend? I'm f***ing done with all this bull***t!" He exclaims before storming off, leaving Daisy and I with gaped expressions.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's gone into him." She gives me an apologetic look before running after her lover.

I sigh in exasperation. "Ask my boyfriend? " What did James have to do with anything? I keep walking towards his house. I pass by the gas station my brother Bo worked at. It was just across from the malt shop. I could see his legs sticking out of a car as usual. I cross the street and walk over to him and nudge his boot with my own foot.

He slides from under the vehicle and looks up, his annoyed glare turning immediately to a warm smile. I smile back at him. He gets up and puts his hands on his hips.

"Hey, little Missy, shouldn't you be at work?" He raises his eyebrow.

"Mr. Daniels is leaving town for the weekend, he let us off early." I explain.

"oh, you gonna help Vince at the museum?"

I shake my head. I wasn't in the mood to paint or help my other older brother,Vincent, Bo's twin work on the house of wax that our mother had built from scratch. Now that she's gone, Vincent and I were the ones mostly in charge, since we were artists like momma.

"naw, Imma go see James, gotta talk to him about some things." I reply.

Bo rolls his eyes and I giggle. He didn't like James much, he only barely tolerated him because of me, same goes with my dad. Vincent was more accepting of my boyfriend while my younger brother Lester was full on friends with him.

"Well don't stay too long, you know the drill, his momma ain't home you get your behind back here or to the house of wax, okay?" Bo says. Its my turn to roll my eyes.

"Of course." I smirk at him.

He smiles and wipes his hands on the back of his suit before wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead.

"He so much as lays a finger or hurts you in any way, you tell me immediately, got it?" He murmurs into my hair. I nod, suppressing a sigh as I hug him back, but I know exactly where exactly he was coming from. I've had the same bad luck as my siblings when it comes to significant others. We've all been burned in the past.

We let go of each other after a moment, and he ruffles my hair before we say goodbye. I resume my original route. When I finally reach James' house, I knock the door, call out a few times, and wait for a few minutes, but no answer. He should be here, he had the day off on Saturdays. He works at the town sugar mill with his dad. Mrs. Miller was usually at home too, but sometimes she would go out to the market or to neighbors houses to chat.

I'm definitely not gonna be the perfect little housewife the woman of ambrose are. I learned it from my momma. She owned the house of wax museum and she ran it, even though poppa helped her with it, she was the main boss of it.

Maybe James was at the market with his momma. I'm about to turn away and leave when I look up and see one of the window curtains sway close. Oh, he was probably sleeping when I came up. I waited for a few more minutes for him to come downstairs, but he never does.

My heart sinks as those venomous flashbacks from my past start to seep into my mind, and I try to shut them out. James is different. He knows my past and he'd never hurt me. He loves me. I know he does. How many guys would put up with a girlfriend who refused to sleep with them? Like, literally no boy would.

James did. He understood and shared my beliefs, and knew about my past trauma. I'd told him before even getting into a relationship with him that I wouldn't be able to fully trust him completely for a long long time, and he'd promised that he wasn't going anywhere. So far he hasn't given me any reason to doubt him, why should I start now? But...what's going on right now?

The door finally opens and I let out a sigh of relief, mentally rebuking myself for getting paranoid. I wrap my arms around his waist. He hugs me back. He smelled of shampoo and his skin was cool and moist.

"Hey baby, you're here early." He chuckles. I look up at his face, the face of the boy I love so dearly. His emerald green eyes seemed slightly tense and darker than usual. His curly hair was dripping a bit, water droplets glistening in the sunlight like tiny diamonds.

"Yup, boss is going on a trip, we got let off early. Thought I'd surprise you" I tell him, a hint of uneasiness still lingering in my chest. His expression softens more.

"You okay? Did something happen?" He asks with concern.

"Well Buster kinda blew up for some reason. I'd asked him why he's been acting so weird these last few days, and he just went off, told me to ask you." I watch James' face harden into a frown, his jaw clenching.

"What did he mean?" I ask, searching his eyes.

"Don't listen to him, he's just...mad at me. We're having an argument." He says, but there's a look on his face. He's not telling me something.

"James. Don't hide information from me please. What's going on?" My heart feels heavier with each moment that pases. He sighs and rubs his face tiredly.

"Babe, don't worry about it, look, ma isn't here, so I can't let you in...but I'll pick you up tonight, sound good?" He touches my face tenderly.

"Why don't we just take a walk to the lake while we wait for the movie to start?" I suggest. I can't help the growing panic inside me.

"I'd love to, baby, but I didn't really sleep well last night, and I had to get up early today to help pa with some things at the mill. I'm exhausted, I wanted to take a nap before our date."

"Okay, sleep well, see ya later then." I say, trying not to sound too disappointed. He gives me a kiss on the lips and a hug. As we hug, my chin rests on his shoulder and I once again look up toward the bedroom windows and see the same curtain move just as my gaze lands on it. I pretend to walk away from the house until I hear the door close. I turn and go around the house, and I go in the door that leads to a crawl space under the porch. I sit there to wait. Wait for what exactly, my mind tries not to deal on it, but I can't help myself. I know I have every reason to be mistrusting and to worry so damn much but I also know this isn't normal healthy behavior. I have to let go of the past pain in order to be happy again, but something just doesn't feel right here.

The last time i ignored the red flags and internal gut feeling I was hurt. At least this time, I can be slightly prepared for what might coming ahead. Being cheated on is not something you ever recover from; you just learn how to accept it and try to not let it ruin you.

I don't know how much time passed when I heard the door open again.

"Today was a close one, Ashely. Don't ever come over like that, You can't break the rules I told you when we got together. she would've seen you if ma had been here before her." I hear James' voice.

"I'm sorry, I just missed and needed you so bad." Besides, I've never been to your house, and I'm tired of hiding like a rat. So you better get rid of her or it's over between us."

A familiar female voice said. I recognize it as Ashely Jacobsen's. She was the Mis ambrose beauty pageant queen. She won each year since she turned 13. She was the kind of girl who was "nice" to everyone to their faces but behind closed doors, she was a b***h. We had been enemies since she'd turned on my when she started hanging out with with jocks and cheerleaders.

"Don't worry Im gonna break up with her, but I have to find the right way to do it, don't want her brutes of brothers and father on my back." James says.

Rage boiled inside me; it took every ounce of strength I have to not crawl out of my hiding place and rip her and James to shreds. But us Sinclairs have a way to deal with people who dared double cross us. It didn't happen often, but when it did, let's just say bad things occured.

Bile rises up my throat as I catch glimpses of them kissing through the small cracks in the wooden floor. I wait for the skank to leave and for the traitor to retreat back into the house. When the coast is clear, I get out and go home, There is much work to be done...

*end of flashback*

When I got home, Nobody was there, not my brothers, not my father, not even Jones, our family dog. Vincent or Lester must've taken him. (A/N this particular dog is Jonesey's great grandaddy, since this takes Place so long ago.)

I storm up my room, and slam the door so hard the walls of our wooden house shutter. I scream out loud, it hurts my throat but I don't give a damn. I want to see them in pain. I want to see blood. I keep screaming into my pillow, my body tensing up with all the overwhelming emotions I'm feeling.

I push myself off the bed and take out my Canibal corpse tape and put it hastily into my boom box, cranking it all the way. I need to refrain myself from further action until I talk to my family. They will help me layout a plan. I know that poppa is gonna get real angry when he gets home and hears me blasting music he didn't really like. But once I tell him my story he's gonna turn that vicious anger towards the sick f***s that have hurt me.

I was right. I'm still pacing the floor when my door slams open this time and my father is standing there, his trademark scowl on his face as I expected. He has a belt in his hand. Ready for action.

"WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS NOISE??" He yells above the booming music, somehow managing to sound louder than the blaring heavy metal. He lurches forward, looking like a rattlesnake about to strike a unsuspecting mouse.

"THE BASTARD IS TWO TIMING ME!" I scream as loud as I can.

He hears me cause he lowers his weapon. His face goes to surprised for a moment before getting even angrier than before. "HE WHAT??" He takes in my broken expression for the first time,and just kind of stands there awkwardly. Thankfully the music filled what would be a awfully uncomfortable silence. I want to be comforted, but my relationship with my father, like his with my brothers,is strained.

My father wasn't father of the year; everyone knows that. And my mother hadn't been mother of the year when she was alive either, but deep down, they tried their best. It wasn't easy for them to raise a family especially in the beginning when Bo and Vincent had been born. Yeah, doctors had been able to separate them safely, but my parents hadn't been prepared for the mental and physical complications that followed after. And not long after the twins were born, I came along; and only two years later Lester had been born. It was alot more than a young couple could handle. I'm not saying I agree with their child rearing methods, but I try not to be unnecessarily judgemental of them. Although they terrified the crap out of me and my brothers, we're still their babies; and they watched out for us in their own way. The music abruptly stops.

"what's all this noise?" Bo asks, he and Vincent standing at the door and looking at us.

Bo's eyes land on me and then at the belt in our fathers hand. He frowns. He walks over and stands protectively in front of me.

"Come on, Pa, it's just music." He says in a light tone. Bo may be 19 and fit from his work as a mechanic, but poppa was not one to be messed with, despite his lanky frame, he was dangerous, and we Sinclair children knew that perfectly well. Vincent steps in beside Bo and me.

"He didn't hurt me, James did." I tell my older brother. What James did to me hurt worse than any beating Poppa has or could give me.

Bo's eyes widen in shock at my words, but only briefly; for his eyes turned cold and a deep frown appeared on his face, making him look so much like poppa.

The tension and pure discontent in the room that rolled off all of us was so thick, I literally feel like I'm suffocating in it. I need to feel a release, and there's only one thing that would do that. And I make a request I had never made before.

"Pa,Vince,Bo,I want them dead." I say in a low, venom coated tone.

"Okay sweet pea, we'll round up Lester and get rid of 'em." Bo says, rubbing my back sympathetically.

"I want to go with you. I want to be part of it this time."I clarify. Vincent is the first to shake his head.

"Baby, we don't want you to get hurt." Bo says softly.

"I need this, guys, poppa! PLEASE." I look from my brothers to poppa, who hasn't said anything yet.

His Ice blue eyes bore into my pleading ones. He could see how much pain I was in and how important it was for me to get my revenge personally, because he nods after debating a moment.

"Okay." He says, giving my brothers the 'look' so that they don't protest. It's not that my father isn't protective of me; he's even worse than all three of my brothers sometimes, but he's a 'swim or drown' father, and right now I know Im asking to be swimming with pirahnas.

He looks back at me with the same gaze.

"You are to join us, but remember. Once you hunt and kill, it changes you. No going back. Ever. Understand?"

I nod my head. "Yessir."

He nods again and looks back at the boys. "Go get your brother. We've got planning to do."

The twins both look at me, well Bo sorta glared at me, I know he hates that I'm gonna be hunting with them, but he keeps his mouth shut and stalks out my room. Vincent grabs my hand, squeezing it gently before following after Bo.

My father jerks his head at me, motioning me to follow him. We go downstairs to the living room. Poppa throws himself on the couch. I know better to stare at him; he hates it, but I can't help but do just that. He looks so...exhausted? He's not that old; he was only 35. (he was my age when the twins had been born, mama had been 14). But he looks older than he actually is. His chocolate brown hair was thinning and had some gray in it. I don't know why, but I feel pity for him; he hasn't been the same since momma passed; and I know he feels guilty for not being able to save her but there wasn't anything anyone could do; she'd had a cyst in her brain and it was unremovable.

His eyes flicker to me and he meets my gaze, and I don't take my eyes away from his, although that's the rule. "You're a lot like your momma, you know that?" He says, his eyes scanning my face, as if he was seeing me for the first time.

I'm not surprised by his words; for everyone would always mention my uncanny resemblance to her, but what shocked me was the pure softness of his words. His face is gentle, and he continues to stare at me, his eyes unusually light and kind. I felt the sudden urge to just hug and comfort him. This is ridiculous, he's my father. I have every right to hug him. I decide to push my luck and carefully walk forward till I'm standing beside him.

He didn't move away or glare at me like he always did when me or my brothers would get too close to him.

"Yeah, I know...but I have your eyes, pa." I say. My body was trembling with fight or flight like I always do when I'm around my father. But i find myself sitting next to him. We stare at each other, his usually ice blue are lighter, making it look like I was looking into a mirror. Happy memories of my childhood flood my mind. Poppa coming home from work,and me greeting him,jumping into his arms. Laying with him on the couch, watching a boring game of football that he liked, and me falling asleep,cuddling his chest. I do the same thing again,I wrap my arm around him and lay my head on his chest.

He tenses up a bit at first, but then he relaxes and I feel his arms around my small frame hesitantly and then more strongly. This was something I had missed terribly, just like I missed momma. After she died it was like poppa had left, too. She was the love of life; the one who saved him from the unhappy life he'd come from. His parents were even more strict than he is with us. He would get beaten for literally everything he did, even things we never get beaten for.

Momma's passing wasn't the beginning of my estrangement from my father; it only deepened it. I'd started drifting apart from him and momma when I was about six or seven and found out about Bo's wrist scars. I had went into his and Vince's room to wake them up for breakfast, when I saw the giant purple painfully looking scars on my brother. I was so shocked,upset and worried. I woke him up in tears, and asked him what happened to his arms and he tried to lie about them at first, saying he done them to himself, but I saw right through him and demanded the truth.

When he nervously revealed that it was our own parents who had done it to him as a kid, that's when I realized that they were dangerous and perfectly capable of going to extreme measures if it meant keeping us disciplined. I was angry at them; nobody could hurt my brothers and get away with it, not even my mom and dad. So I retaliated by closing myself of from them. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but as time would prove, it wasn't. Now my momma's gone and this is the first time in all these years I've been able to get close to my poppa again.

Tears well up in my eyes and I bury my face into his shirt. It smelled of cigarettes, beer and his favorite cologne.

"I'm so sorry,I'm sorry,I'm sorry daddy." I say into his chest,bawling my eyes out. I haven't called him daddy in so long.

"Sh sh sh, babygirl, it's alright, daddy's got ya. I'm here." He says soothingly into my hair. I grip onto him like my life depends on it and I can't stop Shaking with sobs.

We stay like that for a long time before I'm able to calm down. He moves my face gently so I can look at him. His thumb brushes away my tears and he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm...sorry too. For everything...you...your brothers...can you ever forgive this old pile of bones?" I know how difficult it is for him to express his feelings, and this is the first time I've ever heard him apologize to anyone but my momma.

"Of course daddy.I love you. And I missed you." I kiss his cheek, and a sad smile forms on his face. At that moment, we hear the rumbling of two trucks pulling into the driveway. Daddy gives me one last squeeze and pats my back, signaling our little father daughter reunion was over.

It was time to get down to business and have a more sinister reunion...

[symptoms-syndrome]

Talking about younger folks in DID spaces

For some reason a big burst of people reblogging that post are minors claiming DID/OSDD, some of them as young as 14, and obviously I'm not going to be an ass to them and obviously I can't for sure say what anyone has/doesn't have but I'm gonna be real and say if someone is still an underclassman in HS or younger I'm not gonna believe they have DID/OSDD I'm just not. Sorry not sorry. That's still a child that barely has had time to figure out their own identity and is trying to find a clinical reason they feel the way they do when the clinical reason is that they're a developing child.

Back when I was in a System Server™ there were occasionally youth not that young but still pretty young who came in and sometimes it felt like. I'm not going to pass judgement on you in any way that matters and I'm going to keep it to myself but do you know people are complex.

And not to be some grumpy old person or whatever but I do think that the internet has in some way impacted this. I think that in a lot of places in the internet people are expected to fit themselves into neat little boxes and everything has a place and everything that doesn't belong in that place goes some other place, and then people (esp young people, esp esp young people who are and have over the past two years lost out on a lot of chances to meet and interact wholly with real, whole people) see these little cardboard cutout personas people put out online and think that's how everyone is, and then see that they themselves do not fit neatly into one cardboard cutout and assume the worst.

Like, IDK this is a stupid example but if someone runs like, a academia aesthetic study blog then it would be weird for them to also post their favorite Dropkick Murphy's song onto the blog, or their favorite recipe for fried salami. And they might want to answer asks in a way that's more formal because of the blog theme. But that doesn't mean the person behind the screen can't like dark libraries AND Irish rock AND fried salami AND maybe dress up in pastels. But the internet kinda wants people to fit into these cute little cohesive windows into someone's life. And I feel that must be even more true for places like Twitter where things are more connected to like, you as a person rather than being anonymous. But meeting people in real life, you'll meet people who aren't cohesive. We're all, everyone, patchwork quilts of our varied experiences and the people we've met and the places we've been and no one's patchwork quilt is all one color or pattern. And I think I worry for a lot of the young young young people online (TBH I worry about them being so online at all in general, but y'know) who are investing so much time and effort into neatly labeling every part or perceived part of self, updating with who's fronting all the time, etc etc etc because I feel like for those who don't have a dissociative disorder (which, statistically has to be most of them) they're denying to themselves and leading their friends away from the realization that people can be disjointed and not fully cohesive and consistent. Rather than coming to terms with the fact that someone can like punk rock and have their favorite color be baby blue, they're keeping those experiences separate and insisting that must be two separate identities. And I don't know what that's going to do long term, but it probably isn't great.

Not to mention that that combined with the weird. Stranger danger-esque avoidance of any adults ever means that this is just 15 year olds comparing themselves to other 15 year olds to judge themselves in whether they fit the idea of normal development expected of a 25 year old.

(the stranger danger thing does confuse and worry me esp as someone who works with youth, the weird turnaround from my youth where 15 year olds share all their personal information online combined with "literally anyone over the age of 18 who tries to in any way interact with or talk to or exist in the same space as someone 17- is automatically assumed the worst of" seems like a recipe for disaster. Healthy intergenerational relationships can be so important and helpful, esp for youth who don't have good relationships with parents. I could write a whole post about this alone, and how healthy relationships with adults are necessary to help young people recognize unhealthy expectations from dangerous adults but also this is long enough already.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

idk if requests are open, or if this even counts as a request or more of a prompt for u to ramble, but how do you think mozart and theodorus would react to an mc who used to be friendly towards them pulling away, and finding out somehow that it's because they were too hostile and mc gave up (in the context of them secretly liking mc and being tsundere jerks). tysm in advance!!

Requests are open! I talk about just about anything ikevamp related on this blog, so nws in regards to that~

I guess I took this as a prompt to ramble so hopefully you enjoy this meme energy 💛💛💛💛

And well, I'm a little conflicted about this one--largely because I see two possible (most likely) outcomes. I think it depends on their feelings for the MC in question, as I get the vibe that they are willing to make the effort if they deem it worthwhile in the long run (perhaps a bit callous, but hey, what can I say). If they feel they can't see eye to eye with the MC long term, then I doubt they would pursue the matter much further.

If there is enough grounding for them to want to salvage the relationship, I think they would both make some effort to make amends tbh. They may have trouble saying it directly, but I guess I see them as men of action--they'll adjust their behavior, and that speaks volumes. Maybe they hesitate before something harsher slips, changing the course of what they were going to say. Maybe they smooth over a mistake she makes before anyone can notice, saving her that social discomfort. Maybe they don't nitpick what she does anymore, just note adjustments neutrally (the tonal difference of "you clod, you're going to ruin it if you hold it that way" versus "try holding it like this, it's easier to carry and poses less risk of damage if you drop it"). I guess my impression is that they tend to be subtle when it comes to their emotional landscape; if you don't pay close attention, you could miss it.

But. BUT. If you point out any difference in their behavior. They will look away and scowl/blush which is frankly, beyond hilarious (but don't do it too much or they'll get mad, you gotta go for the spicy moments to expose them italian hand thing). I imagine that, whether they admit it or not, they do notice if you see past the surface and appreciate that you care they're trying. It helps them move from very acerbic to a more lowkey kind of pragmatism that's less biting. Tbh I'm just a shithead and would probably tease them to near death because I'm very familiar with that sort of behavior, but I also understand not everyone is comfortable with that ;;;

I think it’s less that they refuse to make amends for troublesome behavior, and more that they have a lot of paralyzing shame associated with honesty (and they don’t much like being vulnerable ;;;;). For Theodorus, I think he’s deeply traumatized by how hard his brother tries to be a good and fair person, only to remain ridiculed and ignored by the people around him at large. There’s a sense of a male culture dominated by the concept that gentleness is only an extension of weakness, and as such he feels the need to overcompensate to defend Vincent. The rough exterior serves both as an insistence that he is a grown man (parental infantilization) but also to demand people’s respect, ripping them to verbal shreds when he sees fit for survival.

Mozart’s is more obviously a defense mechanism; he rejects people and sees the worst in them before they can do that to him. I don’t think he’s as malicious by nature as he seems. I think it’s more that he’s accustomed to and self-imposes impossible standards of self-control. The emotional repression, terrible (also unpredictable) experiences at the hands of his father as a boy genius, and relentless inability to see his own value separated from his work ethic results in a man who is inevitably dissociated from his reality. He has no concept of worth beyond functionality, and no concept of worth beyond giving to a self-emptying extent. So much of his life is a kind of hyperanxious denial and paranoid shame, and it’s a pity considering his immense potential for warmth and love.

I suppose I get the inclination that they both really just need to be slapped upside the head a little ahlskfjdhsgsfdkhj. I'm not typically one that likes that method of getting through to people, but it's an unfortunate result of some forms of abuse. Sometimes people need very direct and very intense rearranging of their face holes to see the limited nature of their perspectives. Though I will say context matters: some people need very gentle, some people need more persistent measures.

(Please note: sometimes people do not want to change, and if they don’t want to, they won’t--that’s just a waste of time imo. No amount of arguing or altruism will get through in that scenario ;;;;;; but since this is an otome it’s easier to give the benefit of the doubt. Honestly I find myself torn a lot because I don't? Like giving up on people who struggle with things like that. But at the same time, I don't necessarily think it's worthwhile to beg for someone to be kinder/more aware when they have zero desire to.)

I can't really speak to Theodorus as much but I think somebody who is with him would have to be somebody who is less put off by his jagged edges ;;;;;;;; I don't think it's wrong to be sensitive to it, but the reality is that he has a hard time toning it down sometimes because of his habits. It's a part of being with him, though I think he softens considerably over time in a relationship. I see it is as a kind of balancing act. His s/o would have to be firm about the times he's well and truly unfair, goes too far with what he says/does. And his s/o would likely need to let go or just tease him about the more harmless nonsense, taking it in stride. It's about knowing when to throw a punch and when to breeze by (float like a butterfly, sting like a bee).

Mozart I'm ngl is just Pride and Prejudice material, Mr.Darcy ass. He literally just needs somebody who will read him for utter filth in the classiest way possible, until he has no choice but to strut on his walk of shame saying "you dropped this, queen 👑". I find it a little funny because as long as you roast him in a true way, half the time he isn’t even mad, just sheepish. I find him to be a unique case between the two of them because he's more guarded than reactive. As soon as he knows his s/o is willing to hear him out and talk to him if they have some kind of misunderstanding, he doesn't really go for the throat anymore. Just gets kind of 👉👈, needs some time to figure out how to broach the topic (or Jeanne slides in to mediate a little bit). His development is more of a slow upward track to more normal and very affectionate interaction.

Of the two, I think Mozart might be the best bet for the type of person you mentioned. He has a lot of capacity for responding with penitence when it's due, and acknowledging when he messes up. Theo needs a lot of control, and I think it's fair if some people can't handle the overbearing nature of it at points.

[mxvladdy]

Diavolo- True Form

Whoooooooo weeeee! ‘Pologies for the wait on these longer posts. I’ve been hit with a one two punch of house emergencies and sudden costly ass repairs, so my creative juices have been rightly squashed as of late.

Plus side I got my drawing tablet and drafting table back so I can neaten up my blog lay out now (yay!) 

Anyway this one was a challenge in the best possible ways. I really like Diavolo because of how little we know about him so it gave me some wiggle room. Or at least what I know of him- im only on like chapter 23 of the stories. Idk if I did him justice as this is angsty af but I sure had a blast writing it!

Hope ya like! Next up: Beelzebub 

Trigger warning: Mention of blood, and swearing. 

Diavolo-

He'll never show you, so don't ask. His true form is god-like in its own right and such knowledge, such truly raw demonic power in its natural form is not for your mortal eyes.

No matter what your lineage, it would break you. And despite his roles and being the literal devil, he doesn’t want you suffering.

Sometimes when he thinks you wouldn't notice he relaxes his hold on reality, just a fraction. He wants to relieve some of the tension that is always building just below the surface. Like closing your eyes when you have a tension headache. The mental energy he has to exert to keep face is enormous. Regular glamour doesn’t work nearly as well as his own, or Barbato’s magic.

But you see hints during your downtime spent in his company. A ripple in his reflection on the window pane. Unexplainable shadows dancing across his exposed skin. Too many teeth in his mouth when he laughs. Sometimes when you stare into his eyes you see something indescribable staring back behind them. His usually warm and inviting gaze darkening. A barest flicker, a hulking bestial thing kept locked behind in his golden gaze. It's enough to freeze the blood in your veins.

On certain nights when you can slip away from the brothers you stay in his room. Lying  awake, you watch his magic wane and shift as he slumbers. Sometimes you see runes, or at times letters. You are tempted to write them down and ask Solomon. But something stops you each time.

The worst images are the faces. Unknown souls trapped beneath his flesh clawing to be freed. Silent screams fading back into his body as he dreams. Your fragile fingers trace the patterns they leave as you wait for the next day wrapped in his embrace.

Only once have you seen more of his form then he would ever wish. The depths of his strength and mental fortitude were unknown to you so the slip up took you both by surprise. He masks the error well, but the sudden shift in energy in the room couldn’t be suppressed .

You are suddenly so aware of the oppressive weight of gravity on your frame. Your bones grinding together under the force of his aura. You panic, desperate by the need to breathe, but are unable to draw even the smallest bit of oxygen as it is robbed from the room. Time and reality wrapped too, distorting in ways only you thought only Barbatos could do. You knew in that moment the sudden dread of death, how mortally was but a rusty shackle tethering you down.

He collects himself, dispelling the energy and locking his glamour down tight to protect you. But that split second of fury felt like an eternity to you as you sink to the floor. You hiccup a shaky sob and shiver. Your fragile human mind bowing under the strain of what it cannot comprehend. Scolding hot tears fall from your cheeks, before splashing crimson the stone below you.

You didn't approach him again for over a month. No matter how strong you are, some things were better off unseen.

Mini Fic

He didn’t know. For once in his ancient pitiful existence, he had been unaware of his surroundings. It had been for just a moment, one tiny crack in his veneer. The foolishness of Mammon and Belphegor’s actions finally poked the right nerve. He wouldn’t hurt them, for Lucifer’s sake. That prideful demon would never forgive him if he did. But he could scare them. A quick look at his true self; a flash of the deepest bowels of hell. Enough to give them a reminder of their positions and standing in his court. He had expected their whimpers of fear, could taste the acidic tinge of it exuding from their pores. What he didn’t expect though was your blood curdling screams alongside.

Ironically, he would have to thank the second eldest later. His fast thinking is the only thing that saved you from complete damnation. His body shielded yours, taking the brunt of the stronger daemons hellish might for you. What little magic Mammon still had left used to protect you. Though, while your vision was blocked, you could still feel his oppressive presence. It racked your mortal flesh. Diavolo knew what affects his power had on humans. He spent years breaking and consuming damned souls with zeal after all.

The brothers had run from him after that, screaming for Simone. Barbatos following close behind, a look of consternation on his usually impassive face. You had been so limp in Mammon's arms. Diavolo could do nothing, shocked by his own weak will and realization that he might have ruined everything. You had been whisked away so quickly by his faithful servant and the brothers that he hadn’t had a chance to look you over himself. But the brief moment he saw will haunt him for years to come. Your eyes red from the sudden haemolacria, the blood staining your clothes and face. Your fingers digging away at your soft skin, black and purple blotches staining what he could see. Mouth opened wide on a silent scream. He knew what you must have seen. The souls of the damned trapped under his glamour breaking free to latch on to your unmarred soul trying to drag you back with them.

Against his butler's advice he stands at your door now days later trying to see you. He couldn’t sit around and just hear updates second hand. The brothers had been keeping guard most days in a valiant attempt to keep him away. But he could only be waylaid for so long before he used his rank against them.

He had arranged a full council meeting. Every one of the brothers knowing full well it was to get them out of his way. Yet, the order was absolute. This time none of the brothers could reject it. Barbatos would keep them in that room for eternity if he so wished for it. He hated using his age and power against them, but he saw no other way to get to you.

It was foolish now, standing as he was in front of your door. A part of him hoping you would turn the knob and let him in. Let him comfort you for once, instead of the asinine distractions the brothers offered. He could help too. Hells, he wanted to. He wanted to be closer to you. Power discrepancy be damned. The other part of him knowing it was for the best that you didn’t. Your guardian and tormentor all in one. He listens to your muffled sobs for a moment fighting with his feet to stay cemented to the floor instead of heading back in defeat.  

"When my father was still around he took me down to the deepest depths of the kingdom. Where the worst of the traitors and sinners are imprisoned." His deep baritone rumbles through your door during a break in your crying. "It’s a place few seldom go; even now I have yet to return. Back then he told me ‘there will never be a human soul that is undeserving of punishment. Even the ones destined for the celestial realm are tethered to sin.’ At that time I believed him. The things I saw in your realm... " The prince chuckles wearily.

He remembers the ever present scowl on the old King's face. His dark eyes looking out at the sea of damned souls he controlled. Even as a young daemon, fresh into his wings and still sharpening his horns to impress others he could tell how much his father detested his position. How it had warped him, turning him bitter and cold, even to his mate and only child.

Diavolo never wanted to be like that. Not to the ones he supposedly cared for at the very least. "I think that is why he hated the other realms so much.” He continued. “Humans, for their ability to choose which realm they would eventually end up in after they pass. That even the worst sinners could find redemption enough at the last moment to get to the pearly gates. While daemons, no matter how well they served, or the duties they did for the good of their own would never be seen as equals to our celestial counterparts or yours. That this existence is all we'll ever be destined to have. Nightmares and monsters, stories to tell little human children to keep them in line.” He pauses, collecting himself. “I believed wholeheartedly that every human deserved the punishments only my kind could dowel out. But, in this past year I have spent with you, I find myself changing. You are so undeserving of such torment. Somehow you are understanding and forgiving beyond measure to us. You handle our ill tempers with such grace. For daemons such as us, it is staggering, and humbling. I regret that I have hurt you so deeply and have broken your trust. I swear it as the head of this realm I would never intentionally do so." He looks at the door handle willing it to open. " I am so sorry."

Your crying picks up again. Huge heaving sobs that rattle your chest. Great Father, he just keeps making it worse. Clearing his head Diavolo turns.

Rejection of this nature was new to him. No one had ever dared to ignore him, especially such as this. The royal in him- his father's blood- seethed that he would even stoop so low as to grovel to a short lived thing like yourself. Even deeper yet, it demanded another taste of your essences. You little soul kept safe behind your rib cage. He wanted it added to his collection, kept tucked away deep within his maws.

It was sick; it was wrong. He chokes on the idea. The intrusive thought burrowing deep. How deplorable was he? Perhaps the angels were right to keep him out of heaven.

You didn't show to class the following day, or the days after. Unsurprising to him and the seven of the inner council. He figured the other day wouldn’t change anything. But it was utter agony to him. These days trapped in his office only getting short and curt updates on your health from Lucifer. It had been a special kind of torment.

Today he sat once again at his desk staring at some godforsaken bitching of a royal cousin. He knew this whelp. Some backwater thrice removed eons ago. Yet he was demanding an audience? The gall. The ink of their eligible handwriting makes him cross eyed. Would this day ever cease? He looks to his hourglass, the sands within seemingly frozen in time.

"My Lord, perhaps you should take a moment to stretch your legs?" Barbatos moved from his corner. Gloved hand coming to rest on top of the same three lines he had been reading for the past two hours. "This work could wait another evening I’m certain ."

"Did I do the right thing my friend?" Diavolo doesn't even bother answering the question his servant posed. They both knew he wouldn't. "This program. Our human exchange students. Solomon is one thing, but-"

"Your will and path is absolute." Barbatos states. "There are no mistakes within you, merely stumblings onto different paths."

With a gentle push Barbatos moves the hulking demon out of his way to collect and organize the scrolls and letters scattered about the large desk. "You made the right choice bringing them here. Look at what they have done. They are entertainment to you are they not?"

The prince rose knocking his desk aside and descended on his butler. His true form out in all its unholy glory now. His highly condensed magic distorting the study as if he was a black hole. The axis of the room shifts. His priceless collection of books and toys disintegrating from the cold radiation he emits.

It was all for show really. There was nothing he could do to an ancient being such as Barbatos. So he lashed out, throwing a tantrum in the security of his office. The hopeless agitation he felt fueling the flames of his rage. His butler had only added holy water to his already festering wounds.

Barbatos had been by his side for time in memoriam. The crafty bastard had helped raise him. Had shaped him into the ruler he was today. If anyone could break and remold him it would be his oldest companion.

The dark haired daemon waited for the waves of agitation to dry up. Moving only when the prince was in his more presentable demonic form. Large barrel chest heaving as he reined himself in. “Are you back to your senses?” He asks coolly, already categorizing the items to replace and furniture to be mended.

"I had not meant for it to go like this."  Diavolo croaks into his hands collapsing back on what remained of his desk. Building a bridge between realms, yes. That noble idea was the greater purpose of this program, but the rest of it. The classes, and dances. The parties where he threw his newest toys about to see how they would react to things other mortals worshiped? That had been for his own curiosity and amusement. Lesser beings navigating a foreign world blind to the dangers that were right under their very nose. Bring a mortal with no magic into his realm? Deep down he knew this was an inevitability. Especially with the freedoms he granted them. He just didn’t think he would get so attached.

“No one believes that you would hurt them on purpose.” His butler cuts off his downward spiral. “It would ruin the program. That is what you are so stressed about, right?” Barbatos eyes him skeptically. Diavolo, himself, and Lucifer had spent many sleepless weeks constructing and negotiating this program. If the Arch Angels heard a mortal was hurt down here it could very well end this little escapade. But the look in the prince’s eyes told a different story.

A warm glow emanated from his cheeks and he was unable to meet the old daemon’s gaze. Ah. "Or perhaps things have changed?" Barbatos smiles coyly up from beneath his bangs. "You are your mother's son after all. Neither of you were ever able to stem your bleeding hearts for long." Diavolo squawked indignantly but didn’t argue. Instead he merely turns a darker shade of red and curses under his breath.

He skipped out on court that evening. Not that he cared much. The other nobles would no doubt use the time to gossip about his whereabouts and uncouth behavior of late. Truth be told, he was avoiding the brothers more than anything else. They had made it expressly clear (some more then others) how they felt about him currently. He wouldn't doubt that Belphegor had a few more brothers on his side now.

Instead he stood at your door once more with a tea tray in hand. He had bumped into Simone on the way. The angel had come to bring you dinner and to check up on the last of your wounds. Celestial magic worked miracles on those who have been touched by the darker arts. Diavolo was grateful for his talents. And, by some miracle, Simone had made it abundantly clear he was not going to bring this to the higher ups on his end either.

Upon seeing the prince slinking up the house's stairwell the other man had simply smiled and offered him the tray. “I suddenly got a message from Luke. Could you perhaps drop this by our friend’s door?” Diavolo had accepted without preamble, large hands dwarfing the platter of little tea cakes and sandwiches. The young cherubs work no doubt. His cooking was a fine treat, and a great incentive to at least open the door.

“Hello again.” He knocks twice. “I just wanted to check in on you. I know I am the last person you wish to see but I was hoping to talk?” Silence greets him. Were you awake? He breathes deeply and focuses on picking up your vitals. You were up, your heart thumping steady somewhere in the room. That was good. “I also have dinner for you. Simone had an urgent matter to attend to so he- for better or worse- entrusted this to me.”

Diavolo searches hopelessly for something else to say. He couldn’t just leave the food and go. He needed to see you. “I don’t plan on staying long today. I understand when I am not wanted, but I cannot help myself but be worried for you. Perhaps this is just me contritioning, because I know I caused this. The amount of times I have been called a ‘ass’ by Solomon over this have been staggering.” He rambles. After another bout of silence from your end he coincides. “I see- I will leave the food by the door and let you rest.” Defeated he puts the food down and turns to leave.

The door clicks open slowly. One bloodshot eye peeking through the crack. “Oh mio piccolo mortale.” He loses his grip on your shared tongue at a loss. You looked- you must have been in the hall longer then he or the brothers had known. Such damage couldn’t be done in a few moments. Your skin was healing as nicely as Lucifer had said, but the deep purple scarring still remained on the surface. The burn pattern of it all was random. Twisting wounds that reflected an oily sheen from the light of the hallway. “I-.”

“I know-” You cut him off with a raised hand. “and I feel as though I owe you an apology too.” Your voice was so weak and shaky. A mockery of your normally strong and jovial tone. Hearing you laugh at school had brightened the dreary halls. He hadn’t realized it until you weren't there.

“You owe me nothing.” Diavolo says in earnest. He watches you contemplate your next words before throwing whatever you were going to say away.

“Would you like to come in?” Your eyes drop to the tray. “Luke always makes more than I can eat.”

“I don’t think that would be wise.” He backs out. All his plans crashing and burning around his feet. His actions had been irreparable.

“Perhaps not,” You open the door wider taking the tray and heading to your side table, leaving him no room to argue. “But then again, being a lamb among such wolves as yourself and the brothers isn’t smart either.” You meant it as a joke but he couldn’t even muster a chuckle. It was true. Gods. “Dia-” You approach him again but falter at the last second.

As much as you wanted to be close to him again the memories were still so fresh in your mind. The cold hell fire of his magic ensnaring you, searing your skin. The whispered words of sinners long since past still echoing in your head, all in languages you’ve never heard before. The worst though had to be the screaming. Lost souls begging for help. Some sounded so familiar…You shutter involuntarily.

You wanted to hate him for this. Curse him for putting you through this pain. But how much could you blame him? Or any of them? They were daemons. Whether he meant to hurt you or not, it truly had only been a matter of time before it happened. It would be hypocritical of you to fear or hate him forever over this. Six of the seven brothers have threatened your life before, and you have forgiven them. Hell, one of them actually killed you. What’s more was that Diavolo’s wrath hadn’t even been directed at you.

Wrong place at the right time; seemed to be your forte. “Please, come in.” You repeat again firmer than before mustering up either courage or sheer human stupidity to order him in. You couldn’t tell the difference anymore. “We need to talk.”  

He enters, following at your heel like a lost puppy. All air of princedom gone as you clicked the door shut. Diavolo fiddles with his hands, old habits from childhood coming with his nerves. He didn’t know what to expect anymore. Yelling? Some kind of beratement? A plea to go home and never look back?  He would let you.

You pass by him, giving him a large berth of space to get to your seat. “Tea?”  

Diavolo jerks his head to you. He had forgotten momentarily the plate of food he had used to get access to you. You smile sheepishly pushing it and a plate of sweets towards him with your unbandaged knuckles. He doesn’t move till your hand retracts back to your lap. You jerk your head to the open seat waiting for him. You weren’t going to take no for an answer.

“I- thank you.” The daemon sits making himself as small as possible in the straight back chair. He takes the porcelain and drinks mindlessly. The scalding hot tea doing little to help the tightness of his throat, but it did thaw some of the ice in his mind.

“Are-how…” He fumbles so unsure of what to do next. “I see you’ve been keeping up with your school work.” Diavolo closes his eyes, wincing internally at his words. That’s what he comes up with? Idiotic.

You smile anyway, eyeing the massive pile of books and paperwork spewn about your bed. “Yeah. I’ve taken to doing my school work with Levi in his room. Mammon and Beel are nice enough to drop it off to the teachers when they are due.” He nods. He knew this of course. But it was nice to hear it from you. But yet, you don’t meet his eyes. Far too afraid to see what hid behind them.

The thought of being dragged back into those dark depths again makes your pulse quicken. You instead stare at your nail beds, finding them more interesting. They were purple now. The nails stained black by the contact with his magic. “Will- will that go away?” He asks. Demonic curses or taints were nigh impossible to remove fully. Disgustingly, he hoped they didn’t. Then your nails would match his. The darker depths of his soul coo at the idea, happy that in a small way every daemon would know your his. Not as good as a pact, but as close as he could get to being a part of your little mortal life.

“I’m not sure.” You reply honestly bringing your hands up to place them on the table. “Simone and Solomon have done what they could. But, it is as good as it’s going to get for now. They say it could fade with time.” You look up at him, eyes gazing to the left of his face. “Luke thinks I should see a stronger angel.” Diavolo winces, the thought stung, and terrified him. “I told him no.”

That surprised him. This was your chance. The celestial realm had been skeptical from the beginning. If they knew, it would be a perfect caveat for them to step in. “Why?” Finally you look at him. The fear was still there. Hesitation evident in your eyes. Yet you forced yourself to look at him, fighting through your trepidation.

“Did you mean what you said earlier? About your father and what you think of me?”

“Of course.” He replies without hesitation reaching for your cold hands. You flinch but don’t move away. It felt-nice. His warmth chasing away the perpetual chill that covered your fingertips. Idly you stroke his strong hands with your thumbs.

“Then, I think we can work on this privately.” Slowly but surely you felt like you could fix this. Not for the program, but for yourself.