#literally wtf is the instructor doing

[zerothisnero]

Having issues with drama club rn got inspired to make this

(I am part of backstage crew btw and there's literally only 2 of us working back)

[gold-dustwomxn]

mystified

part 2

summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

each chapter will have their own warnings please read them! eventual smut

cw: mentions of child abuse and implication of attempted sexual assault (does not go into detail for either), panic attack

fluff and angst

light rocking against your shoulder and a distant call of your name pulls you from your deep slumber making you groan, not conscious enough to take in where you are. “hey sleepyhead, wake up.” ellie’s raspy whisper has you cracking one eye open. you’re too tired to even speak or think coherently, making you hum in question.

ellie chuckles and looks at you for a moment before speaking. “sorry to wake you up so early.. I gotta be at the construction site in an hour.” you blink away your remnants of sleep and realize ellie has damp hair, is fully dressed for the day and the sun isn’t even up yet. “it’s okay. sorry I fell asleep here I didn’t even realize.” she smiles softly, “no worries, I don’t mind. you looked pretty comfy..I can drive you home on my way to work.”

the short drive to your house shares a peaceful, comfortable silence between you and ellie. the sky painting a breathtaking winter sunrise of pinks and purple. ellie pulls up to your house way too quickly for your liking, the small disappointment of having to part ways felt in your chest.

“thanks for the ride and letting me crash at your place.. I had fun last night.”

“me too,” she smiles and you feel that warmth settle deep in your stomach again. it’s a rarity to see her full smile “it’s no problem, really.. are you busy tonight?”

“no, I don’t think I have anything going on.” you know you don’t actually have anything going on. you bite the inside of your cheek to try to suppress a smile, but ellie looks between your eyes and down at your mouth and smirks at you. caught.

“well, if you’re not busy later you wanna hang out? I get off at 3, we can go to a cafe or something.” she clears her throat and you can see how physically painful this is for her. she forces herself to keep eye contact though.

you giggle and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, unspoken words and body language received between the both of you. “yeah, I’m down. just text me when you get off.”

“alright cool I can pick you up. see you later, ___.”

me: DINA wake the fuck up!!!!!

dina🤍: bitch its literally 7am why tf are u disturbing me

me: wow. anyway! last night I was walking to ur house and some creepy dude pulls up next to me asking me for directions and shit acting super sketchy. ellie pulls up out of nowhere and goes all psycho ellie mode and pulls out a fucking switchblade. I was like 😦 but it was also so hot. he skids off and she gets pics of his plates and we go back to her place for joel to deal with it. he thinks the cops can keep an eye out for that car and see if that guy has anything to do with the assaults happening. it was lowkey really scary but I’m okay. we ended up smoking and talking for hours and it was literally perfect and then we ended up falling asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night laying ON HER CHEST with her arm around me. we’re hanging out again tonight

dina🤍: wtf that’s so fucking scary! im glad ur okay:( but ommg im so excited for u angel. its ab damn time some moves are made and we can go on double dates tg hehe

me: ok let’s not get ahead of ourselves here we’ll see what happens. that’s all I wanted to tell u. ur allowed to go back to sleep now:)

dina🤍: wow how gracious of u. lmk how everything goes though <33

clothes are strewn all over your bed and floor, while you frantically try to find a cute outfit to wear. it’s fine, it’s just ellie. she’s seen you a million times since you were both 14. you finally settle on a pair of jeans and a black sweater, with your chelsea doc martens. good enough.

ellie🌿🗡️: Hey, I’m outside whenever you’re ready.

me: be right there!

okay, just breathe. everything’s fine!

as you hop into the passenger seat, ellie looks you up and down. “you look good.” you give her a shy smile and observe her; hair tied half up, in a dark green flannel with an oversized black denim jacket, black jeans with her usual pair of converse, multiple rings on her long fingers, and the scent of her woodsy cologne. “thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” she smiles and shakes her head, pulling out of your driveway.

“yeah, he almost dropped a whole fucking plank of wood on my head today!”

you start laughing, walking out of the coffee shop together. “maybe the hit would’ve done you good, ellie. you are very hard headed.” ellie’s jaw drops “wow, someone’s feisty today, huh?” you smile and roll your eyes, going to shove her and she catches your wrist, pulling you close to her. your breath hitches and you look down at her lips. something behind you catches ellie’s attention, her smile dropping instantly and face turning ghostly pale.

“ellie? what’s wrong?” she grabs your hand and walks you quickly to the car, opening your door to make sure you get in first before frantically hopping into her seat and speeding out of the parking lot.

“hey, what’s going on?” she shakes her head and doesn’t respond, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, eyebrows scrunched together.

the speed of her driving and her concerning behavior is stressing you the fuck out. she pulls up to her house and lets you both in before she runs up the stairs to the bathroom, whipping the door shut with a loud slam.

you slowly walk up the stairs, not knowing whether or not to give her privacy. you suddenly hear her crying and hyperventilating. “ellie, I’m coming in.”

ellie is seated on the floor next to the tub with her head between her legs, forearms laid on her knees. “hey, hey I’m here. can I touch you?” she nods and you gently take her hand, softly rubbing the back of her palm while you place her other hand against your chest. “try to follow my breathing, okay?” you take slow, deep breaths for her to follow until she calms down.

“I’m sorry.” she avoids looking at you. “no, I’m here for you, okay? you don’t have to hide from me.” she wipes the rest of her tears from her eyes and nods. you move to sit next to her and gently rub her back, still holding her hand.

“do you wanna talk about it?” she clears her throat and looks straight ahead. “I uh… saw one of my old foster parents. he was pretty fucked up,” she lets out a dry laugh. “thought I was over it but I didn’t expect to see him.”

“what did he do?” she looks at you in contemplation before looking away with a cold, steely gaze. she sniffs and nods, “he… used to beat the shit out of me all the time for no reason.” she looks down at her scarred tattoo and rubs the skin. “this burn… he tried to-“ she clenches her jaw and shakes her head. “anyway, I managed to get away before he did anything, but I ended up burning my arm on the stove in the midst of it all. tried to press charges but that didn’t work, big shocker,” she scoffs. “I ran away and refused to go back so they placed me with joel and he eventually adopted me.”

she looks back up at you, trying to gauge what you’re thinking. you don’t realize you’re crying until she wipes away a tear from your cheek. “hey, don’t cry it was a long time ago I was just… not prepared for all of that.”

“sorry, I just hate that you had to go through all of that, especially at such a young age.” she lets out a deep breath and nods. “sorry our date got ruined” she gives you a sad smile.

“it wasn’t,” you squeeze her hand “I had a good time and I’m just glad I was able to be here with you.” you look up in thought, “do you have brownie mix?” she looks at you in confusion and lets out a small laugh “uh, I dunno, why?” “whenever I’m sad or going through something, I like to bake because it gives me something to do to take my mind off of everything and brownies are fucking good.” you nod with conviction. ellie laughs, “you are so fucking cute. c’mon let’s go see if I have some brownie mix.”

as you mix the chocolatey batter, and hum to the song playing on the speaker, ellie leans against the counter and watches you. she loves the domesticity and warmth you surround her with, and you were right, doing all of this is making her feel better.

“are you just gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna help?” “nah I think I’m good right here” she smirks at you. you nod slowly and look at her with mischief, holding up the spoon. her eyes widen and she points her finger at you, “don’t you fucking dare.”

you chase ellie around the kitchen island, out of breath from laughing and she ends up slipping on her sock, grabbing onto the counter for balance. as you run up to her and try to smear the batter on her face, she grabs your arm. you struggle against her, making you trip over her leg and she catches you, wrapping her arms around your waist. both of your laughters fade into small smiles as both of your eyes trails to each other’s lips. ellie’s face becomes serious as she leans in, lips ghosting yours. the sound of the front door opening has you both abruptly backing away from each other. fucking joel.

“hey kiddo, what are y’all up to?” ellie’s face is beet red and she clears her throat, “just making some brownies. why are you home?” ellie’s voice holds a bit of an edge to it.

“well, damn, I’ll get outta your hair in a minute, just stoppin’ by, forgot to pack my dinner.” she hums in annoyance. your eyes widen at the tension ellie is radiating.

“joel! my parents wanted me to give this to you as a thanks for the free self defense lesson, and for helping me out yesterday.” you open up your bag and take out a bottle of whiskey. ellie’s brows furrow, oops you forgot to tell her.

joel holds the bottle at a downward angle “would’ya look at that.. I’ll be sure to send my thanks to them.” he walks to the fridge and grabs out a container. “alright I’m headin’ out,” he looks at ellie “do me a favor, don’t burn the house down.” she groans and rolls her eyes.

“mm, these brownies are fucking good. you were right after all.” you scoff and smack her arm, “of course I was right. don’t ever doubt me again.” ellie rolls her eyes, “yes ma’am,” she quips sarcastically. “now, pay attention, this is my favorite part of the movie,” you say with feigned sternness. she smiles and nods, finishing off her brownie and leans back into her pillows.

you rest your head on her shoulder and place your hand on her stomach, tracing small patterns. you look up at her and whisper, “ellie?”

“hm?”

“do you really feel okay now?”

she turns her head to the side to look at you, face only inches away, and nods slowly. you feel her breath ghosting your lips and your heart starts racing, chest rising up and down quickly. ellie parts her mouth and licks her lips, leaning in, kissing you softly. she pulls away to look at you, before sitting up and grabbing your face, deepening the kiss.

HA sorry to edge u all. things are gonna get spicy as fuck in the next chapter. interactions are much appreciated 💗

taglist: @me-and-your-husband @fireflyels

[zukkacore]

“All we do is sit around and talk about how great having innate magic is” wah wah wah anyway I do think Jace is good with the freshman sorcerers. Sorcery is abt self knowledge & I’ve been in a lot of school theater and there are times when the instructor wants to actually teach but for like 5 different kids who are in a play for the first time and deathly shy and cast as bit parts part of the teachers whole Deal something is literally just. getting them to build up the confidence to project their voice so that ppl can hear them fuckin speak. & feel good about themselves.

That being said I think he’s terrible with the upperclassmen bc now you’re getting into a place where the kids are more self assured and looking for guidance on like. Discipline and technique and Jace is just like look idk how to explain it to you. the girls who get it get it. They definitely like him bc he lets them get away w anything but they’re definitely too comfortable w treating him like a friend. One time one of the kids asked him what podcasts he listens to and when one of them asked wtf is the complicated women podcast he said “what is the complicated women podcast???? Kill yourself”

[idontmindifuforgetme]

what happened to your piano? you said youd share a pictur ):

Wtf thank you for remembering that’s so nice. Piano is set up & fully functional :) I picked up crazy hours in April + have been stressing about studying/other stuff I need to get done before my application cycle + was dissuaded from piano by my therapist this past month lol (she thought it was a distraction from my ultimate goal of becoming a physician), so it got me a lil down and I haven’t been practicing like I should.

But then I realized that it’s literally something I’ve been dying to do since I was age four and no one’s opinions/statements/thoughts regarding that will change my mind — so I see my piano instructor again this Thursday bc life is too short and I have to do what I want to do out of this life and literally this has nothing to do w career so I should just be less sensitive ab what people think tbh

[moonsuke]

Netflix recommended me nodame cantabile the jdrama… and the acting is so trash and over the top, the characters so annoying and tropey, yet I’m still watching this train wreck cuz the main couple reminded me of REONAGI. I don’t think I could have gotten through the first ep if I wasn’t just linking everything back to them lol.

The male lead comes from a well to do family, is the top student in his music university, is very popular amongst the students (basically a super elite), but struggles being stuck in japan with instructors who only restrict his potential (!!), and has big goals that he’s aiming to achieve. The story starts when he got into a fight with his instructor who was scolding him for improvising and putting down his dreams of being a conductor rather than a pianist.

Like isn’t this basically Reo’s story with his father?

Once again, male lead laments being stuck here with a bunch of peers he’s so unimpressed by until he heard the female lead playing the piano “messily” yet still so right and immediately senses her potential. He was so enamoured with her playing and was staring at them exactly the way Reo did when he first discovered Nagi’s genius lol

It’s only through a twist of fate that they actually met, and he found out how much of a sloth she really is that he just couldn’t stand it anymore and was helping her clean out her entire room, cooking for her, even washing and blow drying her hair??? Like bruh this is exactly like Reonagi I was dying at the hair drying part wtf. She was comparing her pampering to being a princess, and he was comparing taking care of her to taking care of a huge dog 😭 He also not so secretly seemed to enjoy taking care of her?? Since it seems that it became a sorta norm for him to cool luxurious dinners for her???

The female lead too is written exactly like an eccentric genius. The reason why her playing is so “messy” is cuz she plays by ear and never bothers reading the score (kinda like Nagi just doing stuff his way and getting by with his genius). She also really hates practicing and is overall just someone who goes by “feeling”. Lazy, quirky, kinda manic pixie-ish which is similar to Nagi being like an “alien” and weird to everyone else. Oh and she’s also “potential girl” like Nagi 🙂

So seeing this, male lead took it upon himself to “train” her, (so Reonagi 😭), he scolds her for her childish whims and stuff (again, so Reonagi) and not just over music, to the point he finally lost his patience and lashed out at her for improvising which triggered him to compare himself to his instructor?? Which is exactly like Reo realising he’s acting just like his father to Nagi?? Like this first episode is just Episode Nagi I swear!!

Realising this, he decided he should be the one, with his first class techniques and precision, to match her genius instead and told her to play however she wants during their duet practice.

“You can play freely today”

“I can see it. There’s something special about her. And the only one who could keep up with her is me”

Like dude this is literally Reonagi 😭😭😭

When he said “the only one who could keep up with her is me”, he said it with so much ego too (called himself “ore sama”) exactly like how Reo’s ego was to make Nagi the best striker and to pass to him etc… Male lead’s real dream of wanting to be a conductor kinda matches Reo’s football style too? To control and direct everyone?

We also learnt male lead is stuck in Japan cuz of his trauma from disastrous air and sea travel as a kid which kinda reminds me of Reo being fearful of change too (like its a mental block basically).

Oh yea male lead also got cucked tho not by the female lead but his ex, but still it’s funny to see this trope in common too 🤡

-

I actually really disliked shojo (or just romance genre in general) when I was much younger, especially ones with the hyper kinda dumb and manic pixie-ish female plus angry and cool male leads (reminded me of ooc SN portrayals). It’s only until recent years I can sorta just casually watch them without letting it get the best of me, but I still don’t particularly like this genre, especially the older “heisei era” shojos lol.

BUT!! Watching it through a Reonagi lens makes things much more fun 😭

I think I’ll just continue watching to see if the similarities continue as the story and characters develop lol. Like maybe the female lead also becomes more motivated to be the best pianist or something 👀 since now she doesn’t give a fuck lol

[thewisdomofcrows]

Jiu Jitsu black belt instructor: pin me against the wall.

Me white belt student: pins him by his arms

Instructor: wtf? You are attacking me the wrong way. I literally don't know what to do

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[coldflasher]

sighhh. had a mock driving test today and im kinda pleased because i only got 5 minors! but 4 of them were for gear control, so i failed 🤪

the worst part is that this was entirely 100% to do with nerves because I KNOW HOW TO CHANGE GEAR. i do not have a problem with gear changes. this has never been an issue for me. when the test was over my instructor was like "wtf was that, i have never in my LIFE seen you drive like that" and i was like "that's anxiety babeyyy 🤪" everything else was fine. mirror checks? smashed it mate. observations? i was observing like a pro. right turns, box junctions, roundabouts, all fine. but the gears, man. literally have no idea what the fuck i was doing. at one point i was just changing gear over and over bc i was like THIS ISNT RIGHT IM IN THE WRONG GEAR but my mind was like *static noise bzzzz* and i couldnt figure out what gear i WAS meant to be in so i kept going out of second and back into second while sirens and screams went off in my head like GIRL WJAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG

now im sure some of you are about to say "why don't you just switch to automatic," to which i will say, no offence to everyone who drives automatic but i really REALLY don't want to drive automatic 😭 i have had like a bazillion hours of lessons in a manual car. i OWN a manual car which i have been driving around with zero issues which i would then have to sell and i will not be doing that because that's my baby. i have zero interest in driving automatic. in fact whenever people are like "oh in a few years we'll all be driving automatic anyway" i get really annoyed lmao. like well you do what you want babes but EYE won't be driving an automatic thank you very much. i fear it's not for me xx

anyway quite frankly i think some of those minors were a bit uncalled for. like i got a minor for starting off in second gear. im like, and what of it, babes? did i stall? no. did i slow anyone down? i did not. if i wanna start off in second that's my business 💅 quite frankly it's harder to start off in second gear than it is to start in first so if anything it was a massive flex if you ask me

anyway. onwards and upwards!! definitely not a catastrophic fail by any means. actually one of my better test attempts. clearly the knowledge is there. i just have to get my nerves under control. possibly with medication lmao

[faejilly]

I'm sorry I forgot to post my "Tangential Tuesday" thing this week (or last week? Idk time is a lie) but I am 1: always accepting prompts and 2: STILL WORKING ON THINGS I PROMISE

Here, as proof, a teaser for the next bit of #wtf the clave is competent for @hopeswept (I mean, it's still before Malec meet in the Valentine-is-very-dead-verse, but we're getting closer!)

"And so it begins," a soft voice whispered behind him, and Alec turned just enough to catch his parabatai's eye and raised an eyebrow. She snorted at the expression on his face, and he would be willing to admit that he did feel better than he did five seconds ago. Maybe. Probably only to her or Izzy though, and they'd both already know so it wouldn't be admitting anything at all. He managed a serene nod, and Lydia swallowed another snort, discreetly enough he was reasonably sure he was the only one who noticed. Well, John would have, but he and Mary Elizabeth had insisted that all their peers help them take all the current trainees on an ‘exercise’ (camping trip) in Alicante, thus clearing out everyone who might interrupt a formal event with informal manners and fuck things up a little too much. It was very strange knowing he and Lydia were the youngest Shadowhunters currently in New York, and also about to be invested as Heads in front of the local Downworld. None of their instructors over the years had been locals, a purposeful decision to permit them a chance to fuck things up without leaving too terrible an impression with people they’d have to work with later; it felt almost standard, in fact, very similar to the way Nephilim usually transferred to a new Institute once they were of age. Except for them, the Circle Orphans who, despite their innocence, despite the way their parents had been removed from all the family histories, despite all Imogen’s claim of a fresh start… they were never going to be allowed anywhere else, nowhere further away from the Inquisitor’s control and the downworld’s judgement than New York City. Alec, whose appointment to the Headship of the New York Institute was more politics than anything else, but he’d made damned sure he was going to be able to take care of his people regardless. (Made damn sure if they were all trapped, they’d at least have one of their own to watch their backs.) And chosen his own parabatai and co-head along the way. Who wasn’t a Circle Orphan, whose parents had stayed the fuck away from Valentine and the Uprising, who had nevertheless decided to tie her fate to theirs. And not just so she could be Head of an Institute, though that certainly helped. (Especially since John wanted to be her Co-Head about as much as Alec wanted to marry a woman, and while occasionally there were exceptions, spouses or parabatai were pretty much the only people who could get invested as Heads, as those were partners you chose, partnerships blessed by the angels, even, if you took all the rune ceremonies literally.) Neither of them did, but that wasn’t something they were going to tell anyone, especially not if they wanted their parabatai bond to be respected enough to let them do their jobs. Especially not before they were Invested. It would be easy for Imogen to delay an investiture indefinitely; it was much more difficult to take a Headship away after it was granted. The clock chimed, and Alec breathed. The doors swung open, and he and Lydia clasped arms and walked into their future. Finally.

[verushkak70]

I got the way more practical justification, not inheritance - as if there's a manor to be born to in my family, hahaha! - probably for class reasons

What kills me is the utter presumptuousness of the "Who will take care of you when you're old??" response I get when I say I have no kids

Because

1) wtf, do I need kids as "free" (not really) labor to help me sow & plow & harvest & thresh & then take care of me when I'm too old to do all that? No I do not - we get our food at supermarkets, or the corner shop, or go to a restaurant, or delivered right to the house, or from the food cart on the corner etc etc - point is, we don't have to grow & harvest, fish for or hunt it down & kill & slaughter it ourselves anymore)

&

2) do you have ANY idea how many sick people I took care of in the ER, who had children, who did not come to them in the ER because they were unable/unwilling?? eg they live in another state/moved there for work/spouse; they're disabled themselves; they're in the military; they work a job where they don't have cell reception or can't have a cell phone on them 24/7; they're undomiciled addicts now; they hate/are estranged from their parent; their parent abused them as a child; they're off their meds & no one knows where they are; they predeceased their parent/the parent outlived the child/ren; they were kicked out & disowned by the parent for being LGBTQ+whatevs, etc etc

Used to be, you had kids for those 2 main self serving reasons (& the usual "perpetuation of the species" urge to procreate) - but all those reasons are obsolete

& if you do have kids? Yeah, and? So what?

You can "do everything right" & raise them right & not abuse them & they still won't necessarily be able to help you when you're old & infirm for all of the above reasons

So cultivate your friend network & chosen family, be kind to neighbors & strangers (for those angels you entertain unawares may just be your only help when you need it) & ffs don't be an asshole to your kids (& by that I do not mean give them everything they want/ask for, or try to be their friend - you're the adult, you can't reason with a 3 year old (their brain literally has not developed abstract reasoning yet) - I mean don't use/abuse them emotionally, sexually, psychologically, or physically; don't live your life through them; don't try to right the wrongs of your childhood through them; don't divide & conquer them if you have more than one; don't helicopter/smother them & cause them to be dependent/helpless/ineffectual; don't treat them like they're your prince/ss & you're their servant & then wonder why they don't help you when you need it, etc etc)

On the first day of pediatric nursing in nursing school, my pediatric nursing instructor said: your job, as a parent, is to teach your kids how to live without you

You could've heard a pin drop

It was clear no one (in a classroom of 90+% females) had ever considered this before -

and for shame, really; how is it that squirrels & rabbits & coyotes & foxes & deer know to do this & humans don't?

The point is, parenting is teaching your kids how to get along in life when you're gone - not how to take care of you when you're old -

because you can count on the former but not on the latter

Above all, do not place all your "when I'm old..." eggs in the "but, I have kids" basket

You don't yet know what life has in store for you or for the hypothetical kids

You could have child/ren & still not have someone to care for you when you're old

Trust me - I saw that a lot - constantly, actually

& anyone who tells you that you 'need to' have kids, you have my permission to tell them:

"really? because this ex-ER RN* on Tumblr said... [all of the above]"

& carry on with your child free life

(Or, you know, just rec they watch S1 True Detective... & Matthew McConaughey will lay it all out for them by way of writer Nic Pizzolatto's plagiarism of Thomas Ligotti (& yeah I'm calling it plagiarism because that's what it was in spirit, if not by the letter of the law)

*I'm still an RN, lol! - just not ER

The older generation's fixation on forcing you to have kids is something they absolutely refuse to unlearn. You can give the calmest and most reasonable explanation for not having kids and the only thing they can think to say is, "But what of the heir to the lands?" "Who will inherit the throne?" "Please sire upon your barren death there will be a parochial schism that will soak our soils with brother-blood." They literally hate to see you happy with just a cat.

[latentspaceofficial]

programming vent

my favorite thing about programming is how much visual noise web development has. like i'm a back-end dev because the registers and compilers speak to me. but whenever i try and learn web development, the course instructor always has like 15 files in vscode with some hard to read font and no semantic highlighting.

like wtf. is every front-end dev a neurotypical or something? i need to remove code comments and any code non-essential to function in order to understand libraries or codebases. i'd love to be at the coffee shop writing code but i literally cannot tune out the sound of every single conversation or the coffee maker. this is an unfortunate side effect of how my brain works. i have yet to solve the cocktail party problem.

if i use someone else's code i always feel stabbed in the back because it has x shortcoming that everyone is just okay with and will do the mental gymnastics to defend it and say it's good enough that my calculator built on redis and angular consumes 5gb of space between both the host and the browser and that sometimes keystrokes are just missed. like??? WHAT.

on the flip side i will go write everything myself out of discontentment and it's just what i need and it wasn't hard, but i can't stay focused for more than 5 minutes at a time. i've got that john carmack flavored autism. this is hell man. i'm probably a real extreme case of programming but cmon the job i just came from is some "the banks are run on COBOL" level shit.

none of it should work and inevitably it doesn't! it doesn't scale at all. but companies would rather hire 20 people to power a component team and keep adding bandaids than spend half of their salaries to sit down with 5 and rewrite decrepit shit from the ground up. but no, we gotta do r&d on adding 2fa to our account system because we'll get a ✨ tax break ✨.

[somewhatvellum]

i am ANNOYED

i could barely hear the workout instructor today past the music. this wasn't so bad when i could at least watch and try to follow (though anyone who's witnessed me learning choreography knows i struggle to mirror what someone else's body is doing without verbal instructions) but then we did fuckin FLOOR WORK so i couldnt even watch. i just sat up and missed that part of the workout, and the instructor gave me a funny look when i mimed to him that i couldn't hear him because of the music

it would literally be so easy to make exercise classes accessible but instead i just have to spend like 80% of my total available effort on not crying due to sensory overwhelm

some examples of easy accessibility below the cut:

- quieter music

- no babble from the instructors, just explanations about what to do

- spending longer on each exercise so people have time to figure out wtf they're meant to be doing

- longer breaks between sections

- less time spent on each side between swaps so weight is kept more even

- more clarity in instructions - wtf does "be more precise" mean???

literally no one would find classes inaccessible because of any of this, but it would make more people able to attend.

no downside (unless you want to specifically keep away disabled people 👀)

[liliallowed]

Aliza: okay why did you like cause endless hunger.

crimson: oh no I caused a time loop of death! I didn't make people suffer I'm not a MONSTER! this shit is floweys doing.

dust: why is the kid still alive.

crimson: listen. I don't have a vessel you don't have a chance at absorbing her soul and she NEEDS to get stronger so I can somehow channel my determination through her as a conduit it doesn't work if she's DEAD. either I break the save points and there's just no resets or you can GO ON THE SURFACE TO FIND ANOTHER HUMAN batman.

dust: wasn't your plan to posses her.

crimson: yes. but I realized she's actually pretty strong! so like... why waste a perfectly good soul like that? like... c'mon. I'm not that heartless. not after frisk getting poofed out of existence lol.

dust: says the leech who literally possessed a child and ERASED their identity.

crimson: ay! Chara kept bugging me and it's not like I HAD any agency as myself here! since I already exist seperately there's no need to kill this one! c'mon. I'm not gonna posses her! it'll only weaken her willpower! I need to like... be a determination coach or LV instructor.

dust: I hate you so much right now.

crimson: awwww it's like we're married.

Aliza: I think that's a derogatory term.

crimson: oh I know. hehehehe he gets so cute when he's trying to slaughter meeee~

Aliza: ... you have a problem.

dust: yes they do.

Aliza: no so do you you're both nutcases.

crimson: you know I just remembered you can actually be biologically my child in an alternate universe.

dust: ...

Aliza: ...

crimson: well not ME me. a variant of me. and not YOU you. a variant of you. I am your father Luke... or us it mother. hm... parent?

dust: please stop talking I think I'm going to throw up.

Aliza: wtf...

[pepprs]

omg i sent out the evaluation form today for the program i facilitated on tues and the first response came in and the person didnt like it 😭

[sanchoyo]

I JUST GOT BACK FROM TAKING MY LICENSE TEST

A BITCH PASSED, BY 91%

[thatdeadaquarius]

Imagine creator reader but no divine presence or aura that makes people crumble at the knees.

Reader just spawns in at wolvendom like a fly and meets diluc for no important reason i just love diluc then pow we can alter character builds then discover that my husband has the bell and instructors set on 😲

Creator freaks out cause wtf this is NOT the build i put on my diluc and hes standing there like ‘what psychopath did i just meet..’ so wow what no way creator reader just happens to have a 2 piece crimson witch in their inventory.

Reader: ‘You’re probably gonna leave me here but theres a hillichurl camp near by you dont want the knights of favonius to get to it first right’

Dilucs mad suspicious but hes a good civilian and puts his vision to use and absolutely destroys the hilichurls

Hes doing like 19x the amount of damage he normally would and word gets around that theres some random lady that makes people uncomprehendingly strong

BRO (genderneutral) I SAW A FIC LITERALLY ABOUT THIS SCENARIO UNDER THE SAGAU TAG AWHILE BACK- ACK-

FIC REC ASK!!

I CANT FIND IT- THEY WERE ACTUALLY THE OG INSPO FOR ME KEEPING A READER WHO COULD STILL ACCESS PLAYER FUNCTIONS

LIKE, DUDE THEY DID DILUC AND EVERYTHING

THIS IS SO CREEPY WTF R U SECRETLY THAT AWESOME WRITER??!!! DID U SNEAK INTO MY ASKS, BC IF SO HELLO I LOVE THAT FIC SM <3 ANYWAY-

I don’t know how to write this without plagiarising that person!!

Because this is such a specific scenario, I don’t see a way around writing this or at least I don’t have the skill for it lmao, as this is the same situation as that fic, so here you guys go!

My first fic rec!! Thank you so much @myrainycollectorpizza for finding this fic!! You're a peach tysm,

Here's pretty much a cooler longer version of what anon said by Muraar on ao3!

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Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒️

☆

Fic rec sorry my beloveds! Another ask will be uploaded in an hour or so! :] I lied i forgot to tag u guys in the new one hold on

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[vanishintoyou]

literally me not putting any effort into anything anymore lol