#little did i know id be here on tumblr in the year of our lord 2024 still thinking about it

[goldenblueomens]

now that i’m officially moved out of the city i feel safe posting the fact that i have been tormented my entire time living here by these two establishments 😩

(photos are from online, i couldn’t get one of the tattoo place but that’s what it was like before it opened last year. i genuinely did a double take in the street the first time i saw it)

[shadowsong26fic]

So, for some reason, I got the little flag saying I had a message, and I got the email alert, but when I go to my inbox the ask doesn't actually show up??? Thanks, tumblr. Anyway, hence the screencap from my email because sure.

[image description: an ask from @blackdragonhellfire: I'd love to hear more about your Star Wars WIPS! Especially the 2023 Big Bang fic] [end ID]

So, the two I listed are our faces like a mirror, which is something I've been working on for. Many Years Now, lol, and SWBB 2023 [Anakin & Ahsoka AU], which did not actually come together for 2023 and should probably be renamed for 2024 but that's a future me problem, lol.

More details behind the cut because I get Wordy.

OFLAM is a story about Bo-Katan and Satine Kryze, and how the civil war when they were teens impacted them and radicalized them in opposite directions. The story is told entirely from Bo's point of view and covers a roughly ten-year period, from when Bo leaves Sundari a few months before Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon turn up to when she eventually joins Death Watch. The way I had it structured does ignore some later timeline revelations because insert Nick Fury gif here. I have Bo as two years younger than her sister; their father dies when she's sixteen and Satine is eighteen and the war starts in the aftermath; she's sent away into hiding on her own (with two allies/bodyguards) not long after that. A few months later, her bodyguards are killed, and she escapes alone. This is when Satine reaches out to the Republic/Jedi Order for help and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan get involved.

Bo does go back to Sundari when she hears her sister won the war and is more securely established as Duchess now, and the two of them try to make it work for a while (especially because Korkie is involved), but their different responses to the war just keep making that gap between them get wider and wider and eventually Bo leaves, about eight years after her return. This is a snippet from the epilogue but...well, foregone conclusion; we all know where Bo ends up:

“You think my sister’s beliefs define mine?” I asked. “I think I wonder if she sent you here.” “Why would she?” I asked. “Deception and subterfuge like that isn’t her style. If she knew what you were building here, she’d come after you directly. She’d come herself to get a look, if she wanted more proof. She wouldn’t send me. Not like this. If you think that, you don’t know my sister at all. You’re way off the mark.” “And what about you, Lady Kryze?” he asked, the title curling sarcastically through his helmet’s vocoder. Now I pulled my blaster, and fired one clean shot, cutting the antenna off his helmet. He, along with every other true Mandalorian gathered there, was less than a beat behind. I counted twelve guns pointed at me, and smiled. “I never miss my mark, Lord Viszla.”

The Anakin and Ahsoka AU was something I'd planned to write for SWBB this past year, but it didn't come together in time. I'm hoping to use it for next year (so there won't be any snippet shared like the last one).

Background:

This is an AU where Padme's ship went somewhere Not Tatooine for repairs; handwaving that the rest of TPM went Close Enough To The Same, even though that's not really the focus of the AU, but just to limit the fallout.

Anakin's background in this fic is--he and his mother were sold separately about two years after TPM takes place. Anakin connects with an underground movement and participates in what is ultimately a failed slave revolt. He's one of the few who manages to get away with his life, and realizes that an all-out revolt is not in the cards, with the resources/etc. available. So he spends his time smuggling supplies and people in and out of Hutt space, sometimes attacking known slavers when he thinks he has the resources. Always looking for his mom.

Fast forward to about halfway through the Clone Wars; by this point Anakin has a pretty hefty price on his head in Hutt space, but is only vaguely known to the Republic and the Separatists. Ahsoka, meanwhile, has been assigned as a Padawan about three to six months into the War (probably Obi-Wan; but I've also considered matching her up with Mace instead).

She ends up crashing on a planet where Anakin has stopped for a few weeks to restock on supplies/etc. They run into each other and pretty much immediately click; they stumble across a Separatist plot that will result in a Lot of civilian casualties and foil it, continuing to bond/adopt each other along the way.

And then the rest should be saved for when I actually write it, since unlike OFLAM, this is Not a Foregone Conclusion ending, lol.

[therewasatale]

Deal?

On Ao3.

Summary:  ReverseAU How Vetinari decided to become a watchman, and how Vimes started to plan out to become the Patrician.

Note: @lurfck art from tumblr really inspired me, go and see their art. its pretty cool. I always wondered that when will I get back to the fandom and Here. I. Am. With an AU that noone asked for, but it keeps me up for nights and makes me write.

Commander Vetinari pulled back the hood made from dark fabric. Water droplets cascaded of the material joining into those on his cape. Reaching up, he took off his helmet and with it under his arm, walked down the corridors of the Patrician Palace. He let his footsteps echo and glanced at one of the paintings. He looked into its eyes for a few seconds, and then walked up a staircase. Arriving at the office, he waited and then knocked slowly and deliberately.

"Come in, Commander."

Inside, Lord Vimes gazed out the window looking over Ankh-Morpork. Drops of rain knocked on the glass, the commander knew it was reinforced multiple times, but their sounds still managed to be heard in the room. As the door closed, the man turned, with a small smile on his face.

"Good evening, Vetinari."

"Sir." Said Vetinari. "You have sent for me."

To Patrician's waved towards his table, upon which a kettle steamed, accompanied by two cups. They took a seat about the same time, and the Commander placed his helmet on a stack of unregarded paper nearby. Vetinari glanced at the uppermost one just under his helmet, then turned his attention towards the Patrician.

"So, are we celebrating with tea?"

"You don't drink anymore, and neither do I. And besides, Sybil always brings a box of tea as a gift when she visits."

The edge of Vetinari's mouth twitched, and turned slightly upward. A rare thing indeed. "How many boxes do you have?"

"More than enough, I already had to dedicate a separate room for them." Vimes glanced at him and added. "But there are always taste testers of course."

The Commander nodded and reached for the kettle. "How many years has it been?"

"As if you don’t know exactly. " Lord Vimes snorted, but he couldn't suppress his smile. They both knew the answer very well.

"We have exciting years behind us, starting with that dragon."

"Both of us almost died."

"You had more close calls than I am, if I am not mistaken," said Vimes after thinking a bit.

"Really? I thought they tried to kill you more."

"Well, they tried, but mostly you got in the way."

"Thanks to you," smiled Vetinari into his cup. "Since, if I recall it correctly, this all was your idea to begin with."

Lord Vimes snorted, but he couldn't really argue with it. It happened years before, when both of them were just kids, and didn't know what kind of future was waiting for them.

Samuel Vimes entered his room and stopped after a few steps. Something was off, he really couldn't put a finger on it, but it made the hairs on his neck stand up. He glanced around, then blinked into the darkness. He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. Well, maybe it will make him look like a fool a bit.

"You shouldn't be here," said Vimes, and waited.

The shadows moved in one corner and a figure stepped out. He wore clothes colored in various shades of black, only broken by two ice blue eyes.

"It's nice to see you too, Vimes." Havelock Vetinari pulled the black mask and hood down from his head. "Don't light the candle."

"I can't see in the dark." Said Vimes with a small snort.

"Take four steps forward then you can sit down to your table."

"Why are you here?" Vimes walked with outstretched hands and felt the corner of his desk around the fourth step. Finding the chair, he took a seat. He could not see or hear it, but he still managed to feel the movement of his guest. When he spoke, the voice came right next to him.

"Just wanted to have a quiet night." He pulled out a small bottle from the depths of his dress, which landed on the desk with a soft clink.

"What? Are you trying to poison me?"

"If I wanted to kill you, Vimes, I could have done it the moment you stepped in."

There was a silence and then Vimes gave out a nervous sigh.

"You always knew how to put people at ease. What did you say, why are you here?"

"I'm just here to talk."

"Oh."

"Vimes."

"All right, all right. But I don't have a glass."

"It's fine." Out of the corner of his eyes Vetinari watched as the young nobleman glanced in his direction and then towards the bottle. "Wine from Überwald. I recently got it." The cork got out the bottle without a single pop.

"Oh." The silence waited patiently for him to continue. "And how are your studies in the Assassins Guild?"

There was another pause.

"It's...fine. I'm learning a lot." Vetinari sipped his wine and let the pleasant heat of the alcohol spread through him and show on his face. "My father is satisfied, too, if I am not mistaken."

"That's good."

Vimes tasted the alcohol carefully. After a few sips he could feel the slight redness spreading across his face as he shuddered pleasantly. His eyes began to get used to the darkness, and he could just make out the slightly hunched figure sitting next to him.

"When was the last time we met?"

"At your mother's funeral," said Vetinari. "The next day I was sent to the assassin's guild to start my studies."

"Hm."

There was yet another period of silence.

"And how is your dad-"

"Do you have to appear on balls yet? Considering you reached marriable-age."

"What are you talking about?!" Sam scoffed turning red and becoming even more flattered as he heard Vetinari's chuckle. "Very funny. But yes, sadly, I have to. Believe me, I don't enjoy it very much. Especially since Sybil is the only sane person there who I can talk to. The Rust family is the worst."

"How so?"

"I think they're trying to be friendly."

"Don't trust them"

Vimes snorted and rolled his eyes. "Like I would ever."

Vetinari nodded silently. He was trying to swallow his slight nervousness and suppress it just like he did with his other feelings. Ever since he started to study to be an assassin, he hadn't been able to move around in the city as much as he wanted. Without that he hasn’t been able to keep his eye on everything. This was to his father's delight no doubt, he was always focused on keeping up the legacy.

They sipped slowly from the wine, letting time wash over them. Vetinari sometimes glanced towards the window or checked the shadows for anyone hiding in them. He knew he haven't been followed, but he could never be absolutely sure.

"Things could be better."

Vetinari turned his gaze towards Vimes and waited. He knew there was more to it.

"With a different Patrician, I mean. Maybe, if someone would really care about all those crimes, and find a better way. Even this city has rules."

There was a small chuckle.

"What? It could work, I know I'm an idealist, but it could really work. With a different system."

"What I would call you indeed starts with an "id-", Vimes."

The younger man barely held back a scoff, but his face turned became slightly pinker, and not just from the wine.

"The city is changing," said Vetinari.

"But not in a good way."

There was a silence, they could hear the city's dull noises.

"Well, if Lord Winder manages to piss someone off properly, then, when the time is right I'll be able to do something. However, if you ask me, the past will just repeat itself."

His words had a kind of edge that even Vimes noticed.

"I really don't know what to say about that."

"Then don't," said Vetinari.

"But maybe it could be done differently."

"You, really are an idealistic idiot."

Vimes now actually scoffed and drank another glass of wine. Finally, he sighed, and he too stared out the window. "Do you want to be an assassin?"

He didn't get an answer.

"Sorry. I just...you don't seem too happy."

"Then how do I seem to you?"

Vimes shrugged. Again, he really didn't know what to say. He didn't see that as Vetinari looked at him, an idea began to form in the assassin's mind.

"The city could be better." Vetinari surprised even himself when he began talking. Well, no turning back from now.

"What?"

"You just said it. Maybe it needs an idealistic idiot, like you."

"You just had to call me an idiot, don't you? And what do you mean someone like me? I'm not good at with politics and aristocrats."

"But you can learn it." Vetinari's voice had a smiling tone in it. He noted to himself that he hasn’t received an immediate 'no'. The younger man, next to him, seemed to be immersed in his thoughts.

"Well," he said after a while.

"Yes?"

"It wouldn't be easy," Vimes said. "I would have to learn a lot and kiss a lot of butts." Grimacing, he emptied his glass once more. When he spoke again, his voice became more determined. "And I could only be a Patrician if I knew someone was watching my back."

"Oh, well in that case, I can assure you-"

"Within the law. Someone would watch me, within the law."

Vetinari raised an eyebrow, now he was looking straight into Vimes' eyes.

"What are you trying to say?"

"You could be a watchman."

"I beg your pardon?" Scoffed the assassin.

"With your knowledge and skills. You would be an ideal watchman." Repeated Vimes.

"Ideal for who?"

"For me, of course." He realized what he just said. "I-I mean, to be next to me. I would trust you; we grew up together. I know your father, and you knew my mum and dad. So, I could trust you. And this-" he made a vague gesture indicating the whole of the city. "It could be more...good. Better. Maybe it would work, really work. It would be fairer."

Vetinari didn't move, but the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice softened a little. "You idealistic idiot."

"So? It's a deal then? If you become a watchman, I'll be the Patrician." He added after thinking for a second. "Somehow."

They locked gazes for a minute.

"All right, it's a deal." Said Vetinari, and for the first time in a long time, he let himself truly smile.

 Vetinari refilled the cups.

"It's a shame I didn't see your face when you got my letter. And when you found out I kept myself to our agreement."

"Oh, you didn't see my face?" Said Vimes with a barely hidden smile. Despite looking into the commander's eyes, he was unable to read anything from them.

"Of course not, my lord. Since our deal was to watch over you once when you've become the Patrician."

The patrician shook his head, still amused by the memories. "Well, it was surprising. And as you see, I did keep my word." He gestured around the office. "It did take some time, but it worked. But what I'm sorry about is that I didn't see the face of guild teachers when they found out you were joining Night Watch."

"Well, I am pretty sure I almost gave them a heart attack. On the other hand, I did offer them something to keep them busy." Vetinari glanced at him one last time, before he turned his eyes towards to his cup and finished his tea.

"You mean, they immediately put big price on your head but were unable to get rid of you no matter how hard they tried?"

"They've often said I was being a rather ungrateful student." Lord Vimes allowed himself a small chuckle, and so did Vetinari a smile. They really had a history behind both of them. But even that night, he was already aware. He let his blue eyes rest on the face of the ruler, and seen him turning serious.

"I'm sorry." Said Vimes finally, pushing aside his emerging guilt so he could speak.

"Sir?"

"Your father, I didn't think he would..."

"Kick me from the family because I don't follow the tradition of becoming a professional assassin?" He waved it off. "It's not your fault, and you were right back there. I didn't want to be an assassin anyway."

Vimes' cup stopped on his way towards his lips.

"Sir?"

The lord of the city took a small sip. "Nothing. I'm glad that you chose something different. And better."

"So am I, sir." He glanced at the man. "Did I ever tell you that after my father disowned me, Sybil immediately tried to convince her dad that they should adopt me?"

Vimes had to cough when accidentally breathed in tea instead of air. "She did what?!"

 Of course while they talked, the letter was with them, hidden in one of the Patrician's desk. It was stored with outmost care, but it did develop a few creases from handling.

It had the following two words written in it:

'Your turn.

H.V. '

[majingojira]

Monsters of the 20th Century

I had this odd notion.  A (brief) analysis of the origin of various supernatural creatures, as I wondered what ‘new’ monsters/supernatural beings had been created in the 20th century (roughly).   I’ve completed some of the research, and I’d like to share it with you all.  I’m also gonna tag @tyrantisterror because he is one of the more knowledgable people about monsters I know about on tumblr and I’m sure he can correct me a bunch in this!

1. Frankenstein - 1817 - The oldest literary monster and outgrowth of the concept of the Homunculus and Golem as an artificial being.  So pervasive is its reach, western ideas of Tulpa are tainted by it (every time you read about a tulpa ‘going out of control’, that is the influence of Frankenstein). 

2. Dinosaurs - The Dragons of the age of science entered pop culture in 1854 at the latest with the opening of the Crystal Palace Park.  Other prehistoric animals had captured people’s imagination before, and they didn’t start to enter fiction until 1864 (”Journey to the Center of the Earth”) and a short story by C. J. Cutliffe Hyne had an ancient crocodilian in his story “The Lizard” (1898).  Ann early Lost World style adventure, “A Strange Manuscript Found in a Copper Cylinder” by James De Mille in 1888 has the first true dinosaurs in them.  There, Antarctica has a warm spot where prehistoric monsters and a death cult lurk.  In 1901, Frank Mackenzie Savile’s “Beyond the Great South Wall” had a Carnivorous Brontosaurs worshiped by Mayan remnants.  “Panic in Paris” by Jules Lermina had dinosaurs attack a city, but it was published first in France so few saw it.  Finally, we have Conan Doyle in 1912 with “The Lost World” which solidified dinosaurs as a thing in fiction. 

3. The Evolved Man/Mutants - After “The Origin of Species” is published, it wasn’t long until Evolved Men or Mutants started showing up in fiction. “The Coming Race” and (1871), “The Great Romance” (1881).   They are generally big-headed and often have ESP of some sort.  In “Media: A Tale of the Future” (1891), they can control electricity too. It wasn’t until 1928 (”The Metal Man” by Jack Williamson) that Radiation was thrown in as a cause for Mutation.  Cosmic Rays would follow in “The Man Who Evolved” by Edmond Hamilton (1931).  After that, we have “Gladiator” by Philip Gordon Wylie (1930) where we have an engineered “Evolved Man”, and “Odd John” by Olaf Stapeldon which grants us the term “Homo superior” followed by “Slan” by A.E. van Vogt which has Evolved Humans as a persecuted minority.   And with that, everything that makes the X-Men what they are is collected.

3. Man-Eating Tree - First reported in 1874, the idea of man-eating plants grew since then to encompase many monsters, but started as Folklore about ‘Darkest Africa” (Madagascar) in the New York World.  They’d print anything back then.

4. Hyde - While it is tempting to link him to Freudian Psychology, Freud did not publish his work regarding things like the Id until much later (he didn’t even coin “Psychoanalysis” until 1896).  What is springs from, I currently cannot say without more research. 

4. Robot - Though there were automata since the days of the Greeks (Talos), the first Robot in modern fiction is from “The Future Eve” by Auguste Villiers de I’lsle Adam (1886).  THough the term Robot is not invented until 1920 with “Rossum’s Universal Robots.”  They definitely offshoot from Frankenstein, but with a more mechanical bent.  

5. The Grey Alien - The modern idea of an Alien has it’s first antecedents in the 1800s.  Specifically with the essay “Man of the Year 1,000,000″ by H. G. Wells (1892-1893). He speculates what humans will evolve into, and basically invites the Gray by accident.  It wouldn’t achieve it’s alien attachments until much later.

6. Morlocks - With the Evolved Man, there is also the ‘Devolved Man’.  That is what the Morlocks are. They are, as the name implies, tied to Well’s “The Time Machine” (1895), and the word has become a catch-all for subterranean monster-men, be they Mole People, CHUDs, or straight up Demons (’GvsE’). 

7. The Martians & Their War Machines - The First Alien Invader, and the first Mecha can be traced to “War of the Worlds” by H.G. Wells, 1897.  Not much more to say as far as I’m aware.

8. The Mummy - The 1800s saw an Egyptian craze in England, leading to some really nasty habits (google “Mummy Powder” if you need ipecac).  1827 saw “The Mummy!: Or, a Tale of the Twenty-Second Century” which is more a bit of futurism with an ancient protagonist.  Though “Lost in the Pyramid” (1868) by Louisa May Alcott predates it, it is overshadowed by Conan Doyle’s horror story “Lot No. 249″ (1892) which has the classically animated mummy going out and killing people under control of another.  The former is a “Curse” story rather than a monster.

9. Cordyceps - Everyone these days knows the Cordyceps fungus as a great source for making zombies, and I’m lumping that fungus in with these other monsters because, well, fungus’ that take over humans is a monster of the 20th century.  Best known for Toho’s film adaptation “Matango” (1963), it is inspired by a short story from 1907 by William Hope Hodgson called “The Voice in the Night”.  There, the poor victim doesn’t realize they’ve completely become a fungus monster, acting as a warning for those near the island.    

10. Aerofauna - Conan Doyle strikes again with “The Horror of the Heights” (1912).  A pretty tight little horror story of a whole ecosystem high above our heads in the clouds.  Many a sky tentacle owes its existence to this one.

11. Lich - Possibly derived from Kosechi the Deathless of Russian folklore, the idea of undead sorcerers became a staple of the works of Robert E. Howard, H.P. Lovecraft, and Clark Ashton Smyth, dating back to 1929.  Though Gary Gigax coined the idea together for D&D and based it on Gardner Fox’s “The Sword of the Sorcerer (1969)

12. Bigfoot and The Loch Ness Monster - I lump these cryptids together, because (thanks to a ton of research by Daren Naish, Daniel Loxton,  Donald R. Prothero, and others) we can trace them back to the same source: King Kong (1933).  The idea of prehistoric animals being out in the world in hidden places goes back to Conan Doyle’s “Lost World” (1912), but Kong made it widely popular.  And between the giant ape and the Brontosaurus attack (and the timing of sightings picking up), we can blame Kong for this.

13. The Great Old Ones - Lovecraft’s primary contribution to fiction first appear in “The Call of Cthulhu” (1926) and expand upon from here.  As near as I can tell, he made a LOT of monsters.  These include “Ancient Aliens” & Shoggoths (1936 - “At the Mountains of Madness”), Gillmen (1931 - ”The Shadow over Innsmouth”), & The Colour Out of Space (1927).  14. The Thing - The Ultimate Shapeshifter.  It first appears in 1938′s “Who Goes There” by John W. Campbell, Jr.  Though Campbell's square-jawed heroes literally tear the Thing to bits, it reached its zenith of horror in adaptation.  I can think of no earlier shapeshifting humanoids of such variety at an earlier time, or of such fecundity. 

15. The Amazons - The Amazons do indeed come from Ancient Greece, but it was a way for the Greeks to rag on Women.  It wasn’t until later that women co-opted the image of the Amazons as a source of empowerment, and that was codified in 1942 with one character: Wonder Woman. She helped spark the Amazons further into the culture, or at least, Amazon women who have superpowers (as they did in those early stories).  From there, we get a more recent direct descendant that was part of the reason I started this list: Slayers from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

16. The Hobbit - Though ideas of ‘Wee Folk” are part of worldwide Folklore, Tolkien took them out of the realm of Faerie, and made them... idyllic middle-class Englishmen with his 1937 book of the same name.  With the Lord of the Rings following in 1954-1955.  His works also gave us other monsters and supernatural beings: Orcs, Ents, & Balrogs. 

17. Gremlins - An Evolution of the wee folk once again, this time adapted for the mechanical era and of a more malicious bent. It became slang in the 1920s, with the earliest print source being from 1929.   They were popularized by Roald Dahl in”The Gremlins” (1942).  Later they were used to vex Bugs Bunny (1943′s “Falling Hare”), and then they got their own movies in the 1980s.  The rest is history.  

18. Triffids - There are a LOT of fictional plants out there, and a lot of carnivorous ones, but the Triffids were the first to be extremely active in their pursuit of prey.  From 1952′s “Day of the Triffids” by John Wyndham, the story is a keen example of the ‘Cozy Apocalypse’ common in British Fiction, sort of like the whole ‘schoolboys on a desert island make well of it’ thing that “Lord of the Flies” railed against. This paved the way for everything from Audrey II to Biollante.

19. Kaiju - 1954.  You know what this is.  Between Primordial Gods and Modern Technology, the Kaiju are born.  The difference between a Kaiju and a Giant Monster is a complex nuanced one, sort of like what makes film noir. But, in general, if the story has Anti-War, Anti-Nationalist, and/or Anti-Corporate Greed leanings, it’s probably a Kaiju movie.  If not, then it probably isn’t.

20. The Body Snatchers - Another horror of 1954 from the novel “The Body Snatchers” (1955), which includes aspects that the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” did not.  Like that the Duplicates only last 5 years and basically exist to wipe out sentient beings with each planet they infest.  Clearly drawing from the idea of the Doppelganger, these Pod People have evolved into a new form.

21. The Blob - That 1958 movie has one catchy theme song.  The whole thing was inspired by an instance of “Star Jelly” in Pennsylvania, circa 1950.  It was tempting to shift this under the Shoggoth, but I think they are distinct enough.

22. Gargoyles - Longtime architectural embellishments, they did not become their own “Being” until 1971 with “The Living Gargoyle” published in Nightmare #6.  The TV Movie “Gargoyles” came soon after in 1972, firmly establishing the monster.  Though it was likely perfected in the TV Series “Gargoyles” (1994). 

23. D&D - From 1973 Through 1977, D&D was formulated and many of its key monsters were invented.  Partly as mechanics ways to screw with players and keep things lively.  This brought us Rust Monsters (1973), Mindflayer (1974), Beholder (1975), and the Gelatinous Cube (1977). 

24. The Xenomorph - Parasitoid breeding is applied to humans to wonderfully horrible effect in the 1979 film “Alien”.  It became iconic as soon as it appeared. 

25. Slasher - The first slasher film is often considered to be ‘Psycho’ (though the Universal Mummy films beyond the first prototype the formula).  The idea of an undead revenant coming back to kill rather randomly started in the film “The Fog” (1980), but was codified by Jason Voorhees in either 1984 or 1986.   I am no expert on this one, though, so I am not fully certain.

26. The Dream Killer - Freddy Krueger first appeared as a killer in dreams in 1981, but there were other dream killers before him.  They could only kill with extreme fear, though.  Freddy got physical!  I think.  Again, more research is needed.

27. Chupacabras - This is another cryptid inspired by a movie.  In this case, “Species” (1995). No, really.  This is what it comes from.   I know a lot of these are really short down the line, but the research for this one is thorough and concise! 

28. Slender Man - The Boogieman for the Internet Age.  An icon of Creepypastas and emblem of them.

Needs More Research: The Crow/Heroic Longer-Term Revenants, Immortals as a “Group” (might go to Gulliver's Travels, but I’m trying to track Highlander here) are also on the list, but they are proving extremely difficult to research, so I thought I’d post what I have at the moment.  Shinigami might also be on the list since they are syncretic adoption of the Grim Reaper into something more.

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[ot5]

oh I’m glad it cheered you up a bit then!! 🥺💓 ndksksk me tooo, only got maxi dresses and I LOVE them like don’t even have to think about my outfit bc I’ll just put on the damn dress and done? love that!! hmm I think their sizes are really different from each item like you really have to read their measurements on each article rather than rely on a certain size, I kept dresses from small to large or extra large lmao so that’s just something to keep in mind!! but for most articles the quality was actually kinda good for the price? there was only one out of like 10 dresses that felt like much shittier quality than advertised on their website so all in all a good experience I’d say!! what did you order? 👀👀

hmm I think he’s probably on there somewhere but I can just send you a picture of him otherwise!! ndjsksk chunky criminal, I told he got called that and he wasn’t too amused but honestly.. spot on 😭 and omg idk I don’t have the time and energy for a dog tbh and he doesn’t like other cats so idk guess we’re stuck w this lil menace 🥰 I love him tho so it’s fine

ndjsksk well where I live we don’t rly have a beach it’s just like a pathway along the ocean? if I wanna go to a sandy beach it’s like a 20 minute walk but yeah, I mean I definitely love that part!! like it’s amazing in summer ngl 🥵 ndjsksks well I mean I also studied languages so generally I don’t struggle too much learning languages but it’s different from when you actually take a class as opposed to just hearing it, promise!! the first time I visited my friends here and they spoke swedish I had zero knowledge of the language and legit no idea wtf they were talking about, I remember it sounded really strange to me but kinda melodic? and omg you know german? 👀👀 I took some dutch lessons on duolingo last year or smth but also forgot everything rip 😩

also lmaooo you’re right about the dubbing, I was indoctrinated and didn’t even know this wasn’t normal until I came to sweden and everything was english ndjsksks 💀 no I haven’t been, missed a flight connection in amsterdam when I was supposed to get my cat and my furtniture from germany and had to stay at a hotel over night but didn’t see anything of the city but tbh since amsterdam is so known for weed I haven’t been super drawn to it, can you recommend any other places? 👀👀

NDJSKSK omg no why didn’t she reveal herself that’s the whole point 😭 and same, I really enjoy talking to you (hence the long ass messages), the way you talk kinda reminds me of one of my best friends soo I’m happy I got to be your secret santa ✨ and omg no ndjsjs is it bc you don’t like henry </3

ohhh, which one did you get? and it’s been alright, actually went for a short walk (emphasis on short it was windy and freezing, idk what I expected) and I did use photoshop last night for an edit and actually followed a tutorial to change the background ndjsks photoshop queen, but now I’m back to not even knowing what I don’t know so 🤡 I wanted to go to a park tomorrow but let’s seee, otherwise probably just gonna stay in and read fanfic and do edits I guess 😬 do you have anything planned?

oh thanks!! that makes me feel less stressed about it evenho the only the only actual article of clothing i got is a skirt, and then some earrings and socks bc i felt like those were safe bets djkfsnd but omg CAN you send a picture???  idk if anonymous submissions are a thing or if we can finally send pictures thru asks im completely clueless when it comes to this place<3 but i’d love to meet him🥺 also whats his name👀 my cat’s called conchobar, conch for short🥰

you'd  have to walk 20 minutes for a sandy beach? the struggle😔✊ so cool that you studied languages tho omg you're THAT girl everyone wishes they were and i kinda hate you for it queen❤️ id probably die if i heard my friends speak a language i didnt understand...sometimes i rmr not everyone i know from tumblr is british or american.....thats just insane i think🥴

missed flight..rip but fair enough im not that big of a fan of amsterdam either. i cant remember ever going anywhere other than my house and the local grocery store...a wild concept💔 but utrecht and leiden also have those cute canals + good vibes id say!

is it bc i dont like henry SCREAMDJFKSJN thats probably the least of my concerns 😭 its more that sometimes being...neutral or not having a strong opinion on smth can be a lil controversial in this fandom😳😔 id like to think last years santa just got her reveal ask eaten by tumblr lord knows that happens a lot:/ lets pray we’ll make it thru BUT OMG MISS MA’AM????? my heart is YOURS🥺🥺🥺🥺 girl you must have great taste in best friends😌

it’s probably 10 times colder and windier over there than it is here but i feel that omg i went outside for 15 minutes today to walk our dog and i was dying<3 i was supposed to help clear out my grandma’s shed but corona & too many ppl so i got to stay home. inside🥰 making brownies and eating half the batch bc everyone else was gone anyway🥰🥰 tho i did stop by and almost tripped over an alarming pile of chemical waste (my grandparents used to be veterinarians) and finally got to see the skull that my uncle stole from the graveyard next door when he was little and then lost somewhere around the house lmao i hope they took it elsewhere😭 i also almost let our dog walk over glass so i think thats been enough outside adventure for me❤️ did you end up going to the park??

[syncogon]

summary: During the entirety of Ye Qiu's eight-and-a-half season Glory career, as far as the general public knows, One Autumn Leaf's user is male. A select few, however, she trusts enough to reveal the truth. (fem!Ye Xiu)

(( i finally (well, like a week ago) got an ao3! so here’s a shameless plug of a little one-shot I wrote and posted. there’s some other stuff too (and i’ll be posting/compiling my old things there too) so feel free to check it out!))

((since it’s not TOO long, i’ll put the full text on tumblr as well. please read/comment/enjoy!))

Ye Xiu is fifteen years old when she runs away from home. With hardly a semblance of a plan in mind, she carries her twin’s identity and belongings and she wanders until stumbling upon a certain internet café. She has limited money, but she pays for some time on a vacant computer and slides into the seat.

There’s a boy sitting nearby, about her age, laughing as he handily defeats challenger after challenger, money trading hands. Ye Xiu recognizes the game, of course, it’s one of many she’s played. And so when no one else seems quite so eager to take a turn, she speaks up.

“Hey, I’ll play you,” she says. The boy gives her a once over. His previous challengers had been of varying ages, but, notably, were all male. Still, if he’s surprised to see a young girl so boldly want to fight, he doesn’t show it.

“Sure,” he says with an easy and friendly grin. “You’re new here, so we’ll keep money out of this. But I won’t go easy on you!”

To that, Ye Xiu only smirks.

The boy is skilled, for sure. The match drags on, and there are several moments where Ye Xiu very nearly loses. But, ultimately, she executes a clever move that earns her the victory.

“Damnit!” she hears him yell. And then, a second later, “That was amazing! Rematch?”

“You’re on.”

Slowly, a crowd of internet café patrons gathers around them to watch. It seems that this boy – named Su Muqiu, as she eventually learns – is quite well-known around this crowd for his skill, and they’re excited to see him meet someone who can match him. There are some murmurs of surprise that his opponent is a girl, but Ye Xiu forces herself to ignore them.

Eventually, Su Muqiu declares that they should take a break.

“What, tired of losing?” she teases him, but she’s almost out of time on the computer anyway, and so stands up and logs off.

“You wish,” Su Muqiu snorts. “We’re settling this later. Mucheng, come on, let’s eat over there.”

The little girl whom Ye Xiu noticed earlier scurries forward, holding a bag that she offers to the boy. Siblings, judging by their appearances, and Ye Xiu feels a brief pang of regret at abandoning her twin. She furiously squashes the feeling. She would go back, eventually.

Su Muqiu takes several steps before pausing to find Ye Xiu still standing there next to the computers. “Well? Are you coming?” he asks, and Ye Xiu hurries over to join them, her new family.

********

“Glory supports female avatars,” says Su Muqiu one day, peering over at his friend’s screen curiously. “Why’re you still sticking to male?”

Ye Xiu gives Su Muqiu a look. “Do you have any idea what it’s like, being a so-called ‘girl gamer’?” she says flatly.

“…No?”

“It sucks.”

Su Muqiu waits for her to say more, but when she merely continues to maneuver the game in silence, he prompts, “In what way?”

“Well,” she begins, still staring intently at her screen, “it’s not 'proper' for girls to be interested in gaming, for one. So a lot of guys will be condescending and won’t take me seriously, even if I could beat them up in ten seconds, because apparently there’s no such thing as a girl that’s good at gaming.

“Any sexist joke you’ve heard of, kitchens, sandwiches, anything, I can guarantee someone’s made it to me. And I’ve had my fair share of disgusting comments and come-ons and general harassment as well. I’ve been lucky enough not to get in any physical danger, but I’ve heard plenty of stories about that too.

“Anyway, when Glory announced that they were including the option for female avatars, you should have seen the backlash – men were acting like it was a personal attack on their freedom to even have this option exist. ‘Pandering to feminazis’ they said, and a whole lot of other bullshit.

“So if I use a male avatar, I can pass as a guy, and avoid all of that trouble. Glory has voice chat, but my voice isn’t particularly feminine, so there haven’t been troubles on that end, yet.” Ye Xiu takes a deep breath. She isn’t usually the type to say so much at once, but Su Muqiu’s question prompted an outflow of all the grievances she’s quietly suffered during all these years playing games. She’s long since accepted it as a fact of the gaming world, but that doesn’t mean that she isn’t irritated by it.

“Sorry for the rant, but yeah. That’s why One Autumn Leaf is male.”

“…Oh…” At the end of all of that, Su Muqiu is at somewhat of a loss for words. He was aware that these attitudes existed, of course, but he thought they were ridiculous – what did your gender have to do with how good you were? His friend here was living proof of that. He hadn’t realized just how prevalent these views were, and it makes him sick.

To think Ye Xiu has to deal with all of that… To think that she still loves gaming anyway. Su Muqiu feels his admiration for his friend grow.

“I’m sorry,” he says, even though he knows those are about the most useless words he could say.

She shrugs. “For what? You’re a good guy. This is just how things are.”

Later, when Su Muqiu starts making alternate accounts, he still makes Dancing Rain female for his sister. But he makes Lord Grim female as well, out of respect for a different girl.

********

When Ye Xiu steps onto the professional stage – no longer with her closest friend and best partner – she presents herself as her twin, Ye Qiu. Ye Qiu is female, like her, otherwise she’d never be able to pass her “borrowed” ID as her own. But she begs Club Excellent Era to hide her gender, in addition to her face and practically every other identifying piece of information about herself.

This still being the early days of the League, when things weren’t quite so commercialized, the Club agrees to these terms. Later, looking at the success of All-Stars Su Mucheng and Chu Yunxiu, some of the Club regret this decision. But at the time, it hadn’t seemed like that big a deal, not much of a stretch from allowing Ye Xiu to avoid all public appearances. And having their team publicly led by a female captain had seemed like a publicity risk, anyway.

Among her own teammates, of course, Ye Xiu can’t keep up the gender part of her identity lie. Wu Xuefeng is surprised to learn that the incredible Battle Mage with whom he’d played in-game all this time was actually a girl, but he’s nothing but supportive from the start. Some of the others are more skeptical, but their doubts are silenced after they see her in action.

A championship is a championship, after all, and Battle God One Autumn Leaf earns them three.

So during the entirety of Ye Qiu’s eight-and-a-half season professional career, as far as the fans and the public know, Ye Qiu is male. It’s much more difficult to hide from her fellow proplayers – but she doesn’t particularly want to hide from them, only from the public. As she says, Glory isn’t a single player game, and this means forming bonds with not only teammates but opponents as well. So to those proplayers that earn her respect and trust despite being on rival teams, she reveals herself in person:

***

Han Wenqing is even more terrifying in person than any pictures could convey, and he towers over the somewhat short and skinny girl in front of him. Not that she’s cowering. There’s an amused gleam in Ye Xiu’s eye as she looks at him. Surprising the steadfast King of Fighting is no easy task, after all. And though Han Wenqing is fairly good at hiding his emotions behind a scary poker face, the revelation that his longtime rival was actually a she was enough to get a reaction from him.

“So then,” asks Han Wenqing as he remembers another question he’s had for a while, “where is Autumn Tree? That player was quite skilled as well, he would do well in the professional scene.”

Han Wenqing isn’t the type of person to have regrets. He finds them unnecessary and a waste of time. In his view, one should simply concentrate on moving forward, channeling all energy and focus toward the future.

But now, seeing Ye Xiu’s expression tighten, he does wish he could retract that question.

“He’s gone,” she finally answers, quietly. “Car accident.”

“Oh.” What’s the proper thing to say to something like that? “That’s… a shame.”

“Yes. He would have been a god.” Ye Xiu sighs and looks off into the distance, looking so much… sadder… than her shameless in-game persona would have led him to believe possible.

But her eyes turn back to him soon enough. “But we keep living anyway. Isn’t that right, Old Han?”

Han Wenqing nods, and Ye Xiu smiles and makes to leave.

“Ye Qiu,” he calls after her, “see you on stage.”

She doesn’t look back, but does give a friendly wave in reply, and Han Wenqing hopes he’ll be able to see his remarkable rival again soon.

***

As Hundred Blossoms makes their way through the passageways under the stage after their startling defeat to Excellent Era, they come across a girl in red Excellent Era uniform leaning casually against the wall.

“Captain wishes to speak to you two,” she informs Zhang Jiale and Sun Zheping, who are standing at the head of the line. The passageway is narrow, so it’s hard for the other Hundred Blossom team members to catch a glimpse of her.

She’s avoiding their gazes, acting somewhat timid and nervous, but she seems sincere enough. Sun Zheping gestures for the rest of the team to head back to their room, and he and his vice captain follow the girl down a different path.

She leads them to a vacant room, where Zhang Jiale finally bursts out, impatient, “So where is this mysterious captain of yours, huh?”

“Right here.”

Zhang Jiale’s mouth actually falls open. Sun Zheping’s reaction is more subdued, though he’s just as stunned.

Meanwhile, Ye Xiu continues speaking, any semblance of the timid façade casually discarded. “To be honest, that match was kind of disappointing,” she says airily. “The undefeated Blood and Blossom duo was hyped up all this season, and when we finally face you, your combination just kind of falls apart like that? You new guys still have a long ways to go.”

She’s mocking them, but there’s no real animosity behind it. This sort of playful trashtalk was common in the pro scene. But, of course, Sun Zheping wasn’t going to take it lying down.

“My respect for Wu Xuefeng grows with each passing second,” he says, “for having to deal with you on a regular basis.”

Ye Xiu only smiles and makes a mock bow.

Zhang Jiale, having picked his jaw up off the floor, butts in, “We’ll beat you next time for sure!” He’s making finger guns for emphasis, and Ye Xiu can’t help but laugh at the enthusiasm.

“We’ll see, we’ll see.”

***

“Unexpected,” says Wang Jiexi, raising an eyebrow. The action only emphasizes his unnaturally large eye, and Ye Xiu stifles a snort.

“High praise from the unpredictable Magician,” she replies, instead.

“Is there any reason for telling this to me now?”

“Mm,” she tilts her head, “not really, I suppose, but it does feel nice to let people know. Sometimes their reactions are funny.”

“…I see.”

“Do you, though? With those mismatched eyes of yours?”

Wang Jiexi huffs at that, but Ye Xiu’s pleased to see the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

***

Yu Wenzhou takes in the news with hardly a blink, completely calm, like he is in every other aspect of his life. His companion, of course, reacts slightly differently.

“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck One Autumn Leaf is actually a girl are you fucking serious my entire life is a lie there are already so few girls in the League and it turns out one of them is the Battle God are there any other big life changing revelations I’ve missed? But no ultimately it doesn’t make that big a difference I guess because you’re still a good player and I still want to fight you and I still won’t go easy on you at all got it that’s right I want to PKPKPKPKPK with you right now and you’re not getting out of this okay are you even listening to me huh?!”

“You’re even more of a headache in person…” Ye Xiu says flatly. “Captain Yu, I’m impressed you haven’t gone deaf.”

Yu Wenzhou smiles and shrugs helplessly.

Aside from the gender, One Autumn Leaf’s user is about what he expected, especially that aura of quiet confidence. And even just from their short interaction, Yu Wenzhou can tell that she has a true tactician’s mind, quick and lively and calculating. He hopes to speak with her again, if only to compare notes with the original of the four Master Tacticians.

Judging from how Huang Shaotian rambles on about “that girl” for days after, the talkative proplayer definitely feels the same.

***

“Senior…Ye Qiu?”

The girl nods.

Zhou Zekai stares at her in silence for a while, before finally mustering the strength to say, “You’re… pretty… amazing.” He wants to say more, but he isn’t sure how.

Ye Xiu laughs. “Why, thanks,” she says. “But so are you. I’m looking forward to our next match.”

At that, Zhou Zekai loses all capacity for speech, and can only nod.

***

Chu Yunxiu walks alongside Ye Xiu, unsure of what to say. The fact that the number one player of Glory, the number one of such a male-dominated field, was a girl… It didn’t change everything, of course, but it did change a lot.

“Do you resent me for hiding?” the other girl asks suddenly.

Chu Yunxiu considers. The polite response, of course, would be an immediate “no,” but the question is so unexpected it forces her to give it serious thought. Her own path would have been easier if there had been a figure at the top she could point at and say, look, there’s proof that girls can do this too, even better than boys.

But things had worked out in the end. She was among the top in this field, now, leading a powerhouse team with the highest female-to-male ratio in the League. And Chu Yunxiu was proud of the path she’d taken, what she’d accomplished in the gaming world. Of course, she didn’t play Glory to be an icon of feminine empowerment, or whatever the media called her.

But she would support the cause in the capacity she could, including as a symbol for young girls to follow their dreams.

“No,” replies Chu Yunxiu, after this thoughtful silence. She hesitates, looking at Ye Xiu, wondering if she should say more, or if the other girl understands.

Ye Xiu smiles faintly, and they continue walking.

***

Ye Xiu meets a few others in person as well. And so, among the upper levels of the proplayers – the captains and vice captains and All-Stars and powerhouse teams – the fact that One Autumn Leaf’s user is female is common knowledge, though they have the sense to keep it from spreading; plenty of the “ordinary” proplayers never find out. During large events and get-togethers where every player is obliged to make an appearance, those not in the know simply ignore or forget the plain black-haired girl, even though she seems seems comfortable casually joking with any of the gods.

In the middle of the eighth season, Ye Qiu is forced to retire. The underlying reasons are largely the same – her lack of commercial value to the Club owners – but it was perhaps fueled by some sexist attitudes as well, some teammates who didn’t take well to taking orders from a girl, others that wanted her and couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Sun Xiang sneers at her shaking hands as she passes over One Autumn Leaf – of course a girl would be so emotional; no wonder she wasn’t fit to lead.

Outside Excellent Era, Ye Xiu wraps her adopted sister in a tight hug and whispers in her ear. “I’ll rest for a year, and then return.” The twilight of a god, a promise of a brilliant show of glory.

And when the various Glory pros begin hearing of a mysterious, fearsome, female player terrorizing the tenth server, the same name crosses all of their minds.

Ye Qiu may be gone, but Ye Xiu is still here. And this goddess is ready to take the Glory world by storm.

[ardegea-blog]

A Little Tribute to MCU (and Stan Lee)

HELLO FELLAS! Udah lama sejak postingan tumblr yang terakhir :)). Dan tulisan ini adalah tulisan tumblr pertama di tahun 2017 ini. Maafkan tumblr ini jadi ga keurus, umm.. karena... ada kesayangan baru nih.... ehehehe. 

Jadi kenapa baru sekarang nulis lagi?

So.. pertama tama gue mau nyampein tulisan ini akan billingual Bahasa Indonesia Sunda maaf kalo jadi pusing karena bahasanya nyampur nyampur atau karena kurang ngert bahasa inggrisnya, harap maklum aja hehe. 

Kedua, ini tulisan pertama gue tentang perfilman, kalo kalian suka, gue mungkin akan bikin banyak tulisan2 lainnya tentang film favorit gue. So let’s start shall we, Here we go

Senin pagi gue iseng iseng browsing sambil siap siap presentasi untuk kuliah PMIP, sampai akhirnya gue nemuin video announcement dari Marvel ini di YouTube dan I feel goosebumps all over my body, like seriously, It’s full of nostalgic feeling. All Aboard the hype train! 

Memang sebelumnya Announcement Video pra produksi ini pernah dilakukan oleh Disney untuk film Star Wars: The Last Jedi tahun lalu, dan membuat heboh dan perbincangan hangat di kalangan para netizen di seluruh dunia. Apa arti dari The Last Jedi? Apa ini berarti Luke Skywalker akan mati? Apakah Rey akan tergoda dan berpaling pada Dark Side? Atau sebaliknya Kylo Ren yang kembali ke Light Side? Kalau kalian tanya gue, gue optimis Star Wars Episode VIII ini akan penuh dengan suasana mencekam, make the viewers constantly on the edge of their seat, dan tentunya ga bakal ngebosenin. Itu karena gue ngeliat besar kemungkinan Last Jedi akan mengadaptasi plot film Empire Strikes Back, Which is the best Star Wars film until now, and one of the best sequel ever made.

Tapi di tulisan ini gue ga akan ngebahas lebih lanjut tentang Star Wars, Gue akan ngebahas tentang Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity Wars Announcement Video. Bagi kalian yang belum liat videonya, check this out!

Finally guys, we got to see Thanos in Action! 

Setelah 9 film semenjak The Avengers akhirnya Thanos bangkit dari kursinya dan langsung turun tangan berhadapan langsung dengan barisan superhero terbaik yang Marvel punya di MCU. (Sori aja Fantastic Four, Kalian ga pantes gabung di MCU)

FYI, I Really Love Watching Films. And I’m not ashamed to admit that for some film, I love watching a good film more than reading a good book. Yes I’m not kidding. Seringkali abis nonton film saking bagusnya sampai ngebuat gue penasaran sama bukunya, dan mulai nyari nyari bukunya. 

Ah di, lu orangnya pasti males ya masa lebih suka nonton film

Ya ya kalian boleh bilang begitu, tapi ingat gue bilang kalau pernyataan itu berlaku untuk beberapa film. Contohnya Lord of The Rings, gue jaman kelas 1 SD mana tau kalo buku karangan JRR Tolkien yang terbit setengah abad lalu ternyata sangat bagus, aing jaman SD malah gak tau kalo filmnya berdasarkan buku ._. Lalu ada Harry Potter (terutama yang Prisoner of Azkaban. This movie is a real masterpiece. Thanks Alfonso Cuarón for making my childhood a great one)

Ga ketinggalan ada film seperti, The Prestige, Children of Men (Satu lagi karya Alfonso Cuarón), sama film klasik The Godfather, Jaws, Silence of the Lambs, film jadul yang bahkan ditonton sekarang pun masih bagus dan gak bikin bosen. Ga peduli itu film Drama atau film Horror, film Kartun, atau film Action, Thriller atau Science fiction, Genre Epic Saga atau Noir Crime. Film adaptasi komik, novel atau kejadian di dunia nyata, Gue juga sangat suka Serial TV yang bagus seperti Game of Thrones, Sherlock. Anime berpuluh-puluh episode (Avatar:The Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist, Code Geass). dan masih banyak lagi. Gue enjoy berbagai film dari berbagai genre.

Pada film yang bagus ada keajaiban khusus yang gak bisa dideskripsikan, the magic of technicolor world just flow. Sangat memuaskan menonton film dengan plot yang menarik, dibawakan oleh aktor dan aktris yang menjiwai perannya dengan baik, ditambah cinematography yang ciamik, sutradara yang berkelas dan membawa kita melihat karakter yang kita lihat dilayar berkembang dan belajar sampai akhirnya jadi karakter yang kita kagumi di akhir film (atau serial TV).

Lalu apa jadinya jika banyak film bagus yang berdiri sendiri, punya cerita yang saling berkaitan?

Banyak orang dan sempat skeptis akan ide ini, tapi kemudian Marvel merilis film The Avengers tahun 2012 lalu, dan film ini mengguncang seluruh jagat film, Film ini disukai banyak orang, mendapat banyak penghargaan termasuk Oscar, menjadi film terlaris di tahun itu dengan total pendapatan 1,5 miliar USD worldwide! Menempatkannya di tahta peringkat 3 film paling laris di dunia (disusul Star Wars VII, dan Jurrasic World).

Tak hanya itu kesuksesan film Avengers membuka jalan untuk kesuksesan film film selanjutnya, karena di akhir film kita tau bahwa the ultimate and the most badass supervillain of all time hasn’t come out yet, yups benar, dia adalah Thanos

Hal ini berarti orang-orang yang seneng dengan Avengers akan setia menonton seluruh film dalam MCU agar bisa terus up to date dengan ceritanya. Sama kayak ibu ibu yang gak mau ketinggalan sinetron Indianya, atau ukhti ukhti yang gak mau kelewatan satu episode pun drakor favoritnya. 

Dan berkaca dari kesuksesan Marvel, produser2 film pun berlomba melakukan hal yang sama, temasuk juga produser film Indonesia. Saking masif dampaknya hingga semuanya ingin menjiplak MCU, namun kebanyakan berujung dengan kegagalan total. DC Extended Universe collapse setelah BvS Dawn of Justice serta Suicide Squad gagal memenuhi ekspektasi. Bisa diprediksi Justice League pun mungkin bisa sedikit lebih baiktidak akan jauh dari sana. 

Lalu di Indonesia ada Rudy Habibie, Surga yang Tak Dirindukan 2 dan masih banyak lagi.

Oke mari kita balik lagi ke topik

Ketika pertama kali nonton film Iron Man (2008), gue masih di bangku SMP film ini sangat bagus dan berkesan untuk gue yang masih polos di SMP. Tapi film ini memberi dampak besar saat duduk bangku SMA dimana film ini selalu diputar berualang ulang di Bioskop Trans TV. Gue pun terinspirasi sosok seorang Tony Stark yang selain merupakan pebisnis ulung dia juga seorang engineer yang brillian. 

Coba bayangkan, Ia bisa membuat reaktor nuklir seukuran kepalan tangan di dalem gua penjara sarang teroris untuk menyelamatkan dirinya dan mentenagai battle suit canggih agar bisa kabur. It’s so awesome, walaupun fiksi tapi mampu membuat gue semakin termotivasi untuk masuk ITB dan menjadi seorang Engineer.

Saat kelas 2 SMA dan Avengers baru keluar beberapa hari gue langsung ajak sekeluarga buat nonton. Saat nonton gue bingung akan adanya karakter Loki dan Thor, ternyata gue skip nonton Thor dan baru nonton DVD nya di rumah Rifqy sambil ngerjain tugas kelompok pelajaran B, Indo, bikin acara acara TV =D

Iron Man 2 dan Avengers membuat gue memantapkan cita-cita untuk jadi seorang Insinyur Mesin (Mechanical Engineer) dan ikut mengembangkan teknologi energi bersih dan terjangkau untuk Indonesia dan membuat tanah air ini mandiri, rakyatnya pintar, melek teknologi dan sejahtera. I want to be the real life Iron Man of indonesia. Some of you may laugh.. but hey.. people say dream BIG right? This is my dream.

Semester 2 di ITB gue dibuat ternganga dan terkagum dengan Captain America : Winter Soldier. Mulai dari sana gue mulai terikat dengan idealisme, keheroikan dan patriotisme Captain America

Kemudian masih di tahun yang sama ketika sudah memasuki semester pertama di Teknik Mesin ITB. Gue dikenalkan dengan this fun-wacky-space-Avengers called Guardians Of Galaxy. Film yang sangat original dan menghibur.

Di penghujung semester 6, Civil War dirilis dan gue dikenalkan dengan Black Panther dan Spiderman yang baru. Di Semester 7, Benedict Cumberbatch yang malang melintang manjadi aktor papan atas setelah gebrakannya di serial Sherlock masuk ke MCU sebagai Doctor Stephen Strange

Kemudian akan ada Infinity wars, Film yang kemungkinan besar akan merebut tahta film paling laris dari Avatar. Didukung dengan ensemble cast penuh bintang hollywood papan atasKetika film Infinity Wars keluar, insya allah gue sudah lulus dan mulai membangun mimpi gue. The dream that was inspired by, and accompanied by these great films for this past 9 years. Film yang gue enjoy, juga dengan cameo cameo dari Stan Lee yang selalu hadir di tempat tak terduga dan gak jarang karakternya sangat menghibur. 

Gue ga kebayang kalo Stan Lee tidak mendirikan Marvel Comic, dan Marvel Studios tidak memproduksi film Iron Man, which kick start this whole universe. Mungkin saja gue ga diterima di ITB dan berjuang di jurusan yang terkenal angker dalam memberi nilai ini, bertemu orang-orang yang luar biasa juga menginspirasi dengan caranya masing-masing, kemudian bertemu dengan pujaan hati gue. All of these may not be possible without Stan Lee and Marvel Studios. :’))

Now I say to teenagers/adults/kids or any MCU fan across the world, as the first saga in the MCU comes to a close... 

Let me just say : May the MCU make many more movies and TV shows over the next 50 yrs so our kids and their kids can get the same enjoyment and satisfaction we did when we grew up with these characters. 

May they continue to bring inspiration for generations and generations of people who dare to dream and dare to act. Because that’s exactly what this nation need, people who stepped up and face everything with courage, and unite to bring Indonesia... to glory...

This is my little tribute, mohon maaf bila sedikit panjang dan cukup membingungkan dan bila ada salah salah kata, semoga bermanfaat untuk semuanya terutama untuk diri penulis. Let me know if you like it and if you want to share your story ask.fm/ardegeaa. 

Long live Marvel Cinematic Universe, Long live Stan Lee. And as always thanks for your attention. Have a good day. Cheers!

[ourlittledinosaur]

6 Reasons I Am Thankful

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6 Reasons I Am Thankful

Thanksgiving is Quickly Approaching

I began this evening writing out a different post. I paused to put my son to bed. (He had been playing hard and giggling lots with his Daddy.) As he nursed quietly in the dark, I felt him relax and I knew he was asleep. That relaxing has become so familiar to me now, but it wasn’t always.

Before reading tonight’s Bible passages, I opened up the Prime Photo App on my phone. Every day, the app will feature all the pictures from prior years. This has become something my husband and I do daily, and then we chat about it. “Hey, did you see this picture from 2009?”

Hard Times

I browsed through the pictures quickly, really noting the ones from this day last year. It was a really difficult time for our new, little family.

My son was not gaining weight, but growing in length, and was looking….well, he looked like a starving baby. He didn’t have the precious, chunky baby fat that most full-term babies have. He was very thin. These pictures are so hard to look back at, but still I scrolled through them. This day last year is definitely the worst my son ever looked…

At the time, I didn’t recognize by looking at him that he wasn’t well. He was just my beautiful baby boy whom I love so, so, so much.

Come Before His Presence with Thanksgiving

After looking over these pictures, I opened up the Bible app on my phone and saw the featured verse:

“Oh come, let us sing to the LORD! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is the great God, And the great King above all gods.” Psalm 95: 1-2

That’s when I decided my post for this evening needed to be different.

I am so thankful for my son. I’m thankful for his health. Today, I watched him eat porridge and blueberries for breakfast, eggs with cheese, and apple for lunch, and squash and peas for dinner, not to mention he still breastfeeds throughout the day and night like a champ. I’m so thankful that we don’t have to watch him struggle to eat…struggle to live. I’m thankful for his smile and his laugh and for the awesome privilege of watching him learn something new almost every single day.

After I finished my Bible reading for the night, I set my phone down, and lifted my sleeping son onto my shoulder and hugged him as I do every night. I’ll admit, I hugged him a little closer and a little longer than I do most nights. I’m just so glad he’s in my life. I’m so thankful I have the privilege of being his Mommy, and getting to share this journey of life at the side of my husband.

6 Reasons I Am Thankful

We all have many things to be grateful for, but it can be easy to lose sight of our blessings, when we lose perspective on what our hope is. Our hope is in the Lord.

Although, it is not exhaustive, here is a list of 6 reasons I am thankful.

I am thankful for my husband. This man is incredible. He was incredible before I could call him “mine”. He’s extremely intelligent and loves to dig for the truth in God’s Word. He loves the Lord. He is a wonderful father. It is such a joy to see him guide our son, even at such a young stage of life. He is an amazing husband, a true leader in our home, and the love of my life. He is an encourager. He is a visionary, who makes our dreams into plans so they can become a reality. I am thankful for his love.

I am thankful for my son. I know I already wrote this, but truly, this child is so precious to me. He brings me such joy, and forces me to be a better person just in the very fact that I have to be a good example for him in everything I do and say because he is watching and learning. He is smart. He is healthy. He is strong. He is willful. He is cuddly and learning to be affectionate. I can already see signs of empathy in him as he is sensitive to how other babies feel. I am so thankful I get to watch him grow up!

I am thankful for our health. Although, I don’t always do what I need to do to take care of my body as God would have me to, I have been blessed with good health. My husband and son have too. I am doing what I can to learn about keeping our bodies strong and healthy, so that we can honor God with what he has given us. Our bodies are a gift and we need to take care of them, rather than abuse them.

I am thankful for our home. This one can be difficult for me sometimes because I have to catch myself when I begin to complain about it. Since moving to the apartment this past summer, I have really missed our house. I have missed the giant sink that actually held all my dirty dishes. I have missed our backyard, and the space, and our neighbors. But I am thankful for this home. It is more than sufficient as a safe, comfortable roof over our head. We have a lot more in this apartment than many other people, and we need to be thankful for it, even when it lacks what our larger home did. This apartment has encouraged us to do so much we needed to do, to include purging STUFF. We have so much stuff we do NOT need, and living in a smaller space has helped us let go of a lot of extra, unneeded, and truly unwanted stuff. It has forced us to be creative in our gardening. We wasted a lot of good soil in our yard and working with a small space has helped us appreciate what we will do when we have more land again. Most importantly, it pushes us to work towards our goals – the very reason we moved here in the first place: to save more money than we could have in our house.

I am thankful for time with my family. Living closer to my husband’s work cut my husband’s commute by over an hour. This helps us save money on gas and car maintenance, but most importantly, it has enabled us to spend more time together. Not only is my husband home longer in the mornings before he leaves for work, but he also is home much earlier. AND as a bonus, a couple times a week, he comes home for lunch, which is such a sweet treat for both my son and me.

I am thankful for God’s gift of salvation and His Word. God has blessed me with all of the above, and so much more than I can mention. Even if I had none of the aforementioned blessings, I would still be abundantly blessed in the Lord. To know God and be covered by His grace is a gift more incredible than anything. God loves me. Wow! Jesus sacrificed His very life so that I may live forever with Him one day in His kingdom. All my wrongdoings have been forgiven. In Christ, I find my joy, and the “peace that passes all understanding” – a peace that cannot be found apart from him. This is what I am most thankful for. It is a privilege to be able to study the scriptures with my husband, and pass this knowledge on to my son as we guide him through life. This is what I consider our greatest responsibility.

So, what about you?

Have you been taking the blessings of life for granted? What are you most thankful for?

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

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6 Reasons I Am Thankful

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6 Reasons I Am Thankful

Thanksgiving is Quickly Approaching

I began this evening writing out a different post. I paused to put my son to bed. (He had been playing hard and giggling lots with his Daddy.) As he nursed quietly in the dark, I felt him relax and I knew he was asleep. That relaxing has become so familiar to me now, but it wasn’t always.

Before reading tonight’s Bible passages, I opened up the Prime Photo App on my phone. Every day, the app will feature all the pictures from prior years. This has become something my husband and I do daily, and then we chat about it. “Hey, did you see this picture from 2009?”

Hard Times

I browsed through the pictures quickly, really noting the ones from this day last year. It was a really difficult time for our new, little family.

My son was not gaining weight, but growing in length, and was looking….well, he looked like a starving baby. He didn’t have the precious, chunky baby fat that most full-term babies have. He was very thin. These pictures are so hard to look back at, but still I scrolled through them. This day last year is definitely the worst my son ever looked…

At the time, I didn’t recognize by looking at him that he wasn’t well. He was just my beautiful baby boy whom I love so, so, so much.

Come Before His Presence with Thanksgiving

After looking over these pictures, I opened up the Bible app on my phone and saw the featured verse:

“Oh come, let us sing to the LORD! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is the great God, And the great King above all gods.” Psalm 95: 1-2

That’s when I decided my post for this evening needed to be different.

I am so thankful for my son. I’m thankful for his health. Today, I watched him eat porridge and blueberries for breakfast, eggs with cheese, and apple for lunch, and squash and peas for dinner, not to mention he still breastfeeds throughout the day and night like a champ. I’m so thankful that we don’t have to watch him struggle to eat…struggle to live. I’m thankful for his smile and his laugh and for the awesome privilege of watching him learn something new almost every single day.

After I finished my Bible reading for the night, I set my phone down, and lifted my sleeping son onto my shoulder and hugged him as I do every night. I’ll admit, I hugged him a little closer and a little longer than I do most nights. I’m just so glad he’s in my life. I’m so thankful I have the privilege of being his Mommy, and getting to share this journey of life at the side of my husband.

6 Reasons I Am Thankful

We all have many things to be grateful for, but it can be easy to lose sight of our blessings, when we lose perspective on what our hope is. Our hope is in the Lord.

Although, it is not exhaustive, here is a list of 6 reasons I am thankful.

I am thankful for my husband. This man is incredible. He was incredible before I could call him “mine”. He’s extremely intelligent and loves to dig for the truth in God’s Word. He loves the Lord. He is a wonderful father. It is such a joy to see him guide our son, even at such a young stage of life. He is an amazing husband, a true leader in our home, and the love of my life. He is an encourager. He is a visionary, who makes our dreams into plans so they can become a reality. I am thankful for his love.

I am thankful for my son. I know I already wrote this, but truly, this child is so precious to me. He brings me such joy, and forces me to be a better person just in the very fact that I have to be a good example for him in everything I do and say because he is watching and learning. He is smart. He is healthy. He is strong. He is willful. He is cuddly and learning to be affectionate. I can already see signs of empathy in him as he is sensitive to how other babies feel. I am so thankful I get to watch him grow up!

I am thankful for our health. Although, I don’t always do what I need to do to take care of my body as God would have me to, I have been blessed with good health. My husband and son have too. I am doing what I can to learn about keeping our bodies strong and healthy, so that we can honor God with what he has given us. Our bodies are a gift and we need to take care of them, rather than abuse them.

I am thankful for our home. This one can be difficult for me sometimes because I have to catch myself when I begin to complain about it. Since moving to the apartment this past summer, I have really missed our house. I have missed the giant sink that actually held all my dirty dishes. I have missed our backyard, and the space, and our neighbors. But I am thankful for this home. It is more than sufficient as a safe, comfortable roof over our head. We have a lot more in this apartment than many other people, and we need to be thankful for it, even when it lacks what our larger home did. This apartment has encouraged us to do so much we needed to do, to include purging STUFF. We have so much stuff we do NOT need, and living in a smaller space has helped us let go of a lot of extra, unneeded, and truly unwanted stuff. It has forced us to be creative in our gardening. We wasted a lot of good soil in our yard and working with a small space has helped us appreciate what we will do when we have more land again. Most importantly, it pushes us to work towards our goals – the very reason we moved here in the first place: to save more money than we could have in our house.

I am thankful for time with my family. Living closer to my husband’s work cut my husband’s commute by over an hour. This helps us save money on gas and car maintenance, but most importantly, it has enabled us to spend more time together. Not only is my husband home longer in the mornings before he leaves for work, but he also is home much earlier. AND as a bonus, a couple times a week, he comes home for lunch, which is such a sweet treat for both my son and me.

I am thankful for God’s gift of salvation and His Word. God has blessed me with all of the above, and so much more than I can mention. Even if I had none of the aforementioned blessings, I would still be abundantly blessed in the Lord. To know God and be covered by His grace is a gift more incredible than anything. God loves me. Wow! Jesus sacrificed His very life so that I may live forever with Him one day in His kingdom. All my wrongdoings have been forgiven. In Christ, I find my joy, and the “peace that passes all understanding” – a peace that cannot be found apart from him. This is what I am most thankful for. It is a privilege to be able to study the scriptures with my husband, and pass this knowledge on to my son as we guide him through life. This is what I consider our greatest responsibility.

So, what about you?

Have you been taking the blessings of life for granted? What are you most thankful for?

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

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Finding Out I'm Pregnant!

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Finding Out I'm Pregnant!

The happiest day of my life.

The happiest day of my life after my wedding day and before the day my son was born, was the day I found out I was pregnant.

I have mentioned before that my husband and I had wanted to have a baby for quite some time. From the first time we agreed to try to conceive to the moment of that positive pregnancy test was nearly three years.

I had spent a week at work feeling tired and strangely out of breath. I remember telling my boss as I was cleaning one day that I felt weird and jokingly told her, “Ha! Maybe I’m pregnant!” She said, “You better take a test.” I laughed it off at the time, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I had never quite felt the way I did.

Oh sure, I’d started my period a few days earlier, but come to think of it… It WAS super light. Nothing to really empty from the diva cup. Just some spotting. Hmmm…could I really be pregnant?

I had taken pregnancy tests before when I had experienced a couple late periods. My husband had been disappointed before, just as I had, so I decided I wasn’t going to say anything to him this time unless the outcome was a joyful one.

Of course, it was this night that our second vehicle was in the shop and so my husband picked me up from work. On the way home I asked if he would stop by the local pharmacy so I could pick up a couple things.

“What are you getting?” He asked.

“Something for me,” I replied.

“You’re buying a pregnancy test, aren’t you?” How does he know that?

“Yes, but I wasn’t planning to say anything to you about it, so let me be.”

“You’ve taken like 30 of those things.” He sighed.

“No.” I argued. “I have taken 6. Two 3-packs in 3 years. That’s hardly 30.”

“Well, it seems like you’ve taken a lot. Are you sure you want to buy these now?”

“Yes, I have my reasons. Please make the stop on the way home, honey.” I requested.

He did, and I bought another 3-pack of Clear Blue Pregnancy Tests, promising 99% accuracy. I honestly tried not to think too much of it. He was right, they’d just been a waste of money every other time. Maybe I should just go home. But I continued in my mission.

Prepping for the Test

Once we got home, I showered away the work day, and followed my normal getting-ready-for-bed-routine, making a point to read the test directions before going to sleep. I knew I had to wait for that first morning urine to have the best results (despite what the test directions said), and I didn’t want to try to “hold it” while I fiddled with reading them the next morning.

I went to sleep that night the same as every night, not truly expecting anything to be different in the morning.

The next morning in the 6 o’clock hour, nature’s call woke me and I went into the bathroom. Groggy with the new day, I would have forgotten my mission from the night before, had my night owl wisdom not laid everything out for me.

Doing the pee-pee dance, I hurriedly snapped the cap off the test stick and set to work. I set the test behind me on the top of the toilet and went about washing my hands… and washing my face… and brushing my teeth…, not daring to go near the pee stick that was bound to herald bad news again.

The Results

Once my 3 minutes were up, I nonchalantly walked over and picked up the test.

PREGNANT.

What?! I looked again.

PREGNANT.

I stared at that one, simple word in utter shock as my eyes filled up with tears.

I smiled. I was pregnant!

[Hannah] made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life…” 1 Samuel 1:11a

To Continue this Story, click here.

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Our Little Dinosaur

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Our Little Dinosaur

Our Little Dinosaur

This endearing term refers to my son. The name was coined by my husband (aka Lil Dino Daddy) a few weeks before he was born.

One day, while he and I were shopping for baby clothes at our local resale shop, my husband would only consider items that had dinosaurs on them.  After my son arrived in early November, 2016, we finally gave those cute little clothes a purpose. Remembering our shopping adventure, I stealthily selected one of the outfits my husband had picked out – one featuring dinosaurs. I then dressed my tiny baby boy and took him into the other room to show his Daddy. Once my husband saw him in his “stegosaurus” outfit, his eyes grew wide in excitement as he exclaimed, “Aww, come here my little dinosaur!” The name stuck, along with many other endearing pet names we have come up with as time passes.

Our Journey

My husband and I were married nearly six years when I discovered I was pregnant. Those nine months of pregnancy were so very special to me. I loved being pregnant, despite some of the side effects and less than enjoyable symptoms. I enjoyed watching my belly grow and feeling my son move around as he developed and grew strong. I nested from day one. My first baby project was throwing a gender reveal party. We wanted to share our important news with those closest to us, who had prayed with us and supported us.  After that, building the gift registry was especially enjoyable. I researched everything and read dozens upon dozens of reviews before adding them to my list. Browsing through all those cute little baby things only added to the imaginings of my child as I thought of him smiling, playing, and growing. Then the baby shower day arrived! Mothers of all ages shared their tales of pregnancy and parenthood as we shared a meal, played games, and laughed together.

The Learning Curve

Then there was the learning curve. I especially loved the learning part that is involved with a first pregnancy. There is so much to know! The research I did and the knowledge I obtained before delivering my son, (along with the support of my husband and the midwives), was definitely the most positive contributor to the birthing experience.

Now that my baby is here, the learning continues. Oh boy, does the learning continue, whether you enjoy it or not! Learning everything one needs to know to be a hopefully good…ok, Lord, at least decent… parent is all the more challenging while struggling to function through sleep deprivation. This lack of energy in those early months…ok, ok, the first year…has made the time to research and read is as fleeting as those z’s I longed to catch. I realized just how little I invested in the learning that would have been most helpful to me… What I really needed to know was what to expect AFTER my son was born.

This is record of our journey from a mother’s perspective. (Although, I plan to ask Lil Dino Daddy for his perspective too. Where would we be without our Daddies?) I’ll share with you as much as I can from the first moments when we learned we were going to be parents, to the challenges of breastfeeding, tricks for encouraging tummy time, and guiding our son as he learns to walk and talk, and obey. This is our story of “baby makes three” and maybe beyond one day.

My desire is that readers will find this an insightful resource, with stories that both entertain and encourage. My goal as I recount this adventure, is to build this site to be a helpful to mommies-to-be (and daddies too!) as well as new parents. We’ll talk about marriage too, as this is the building block to a healthy, thriving, functional family.

I hope that as readers have questions, you will feel free to pose them, and find many of your answers here.

So, let the journey begin….

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Do you have a nickname or an endearing term for your baby or child? Share in the comments below.

Read More on Pregnancy:

I’m Pregnant! Announcing My Pregnancy Getting Pregnant: It’s Not Like What You See on TV

Read About Breastfeeding:

Prayer, Perseverance, and the Path to 100% Breast Milk 6 Tips and Tricks for Efficient Pumping Oops, I Just Pumped and My Baby is Hungry Fed is Best

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