#living vicariously through my tav

[russica]

How many Durges are too many?

Meet Naerym! It is a terrible person 🖤 Dark!Durge playthrough

Name: Naerym

Race: High Elf

Class: Monk/Rogue

Gender: Agender Pronouns: It/He Sexuality: Queer

Meet Naerym. A Chaotic bag of Darkness 🖤 Its memory loss hasn't at all curbed the bloodlust deep in its heart. Naerym is pretty self-serving and sees people kind of like bugs; some are more interesting than others. Pale man who attacked it? Stupid but iteresting. Hand in a portal? Interesting. Chick in a pod? Eh. Violent lady in a cage? Interesting, only because she is also bloodthirsty. Evil drow lady? Eh. It still had 0 issue taking the life of that pretty bard, siding with the Goblins, and massacring the Grove.

(I did die on the inside playing it though OTL)

It has a few good scars, a split tongue, and several bug themed tattoos, a centipede, a beetle, and a spider. Naerym LOVES bugs and adores Kar'niss! Adopted. Instantly. My big spider boi. It learned to play the damn spider lute just for him.

To address any issues with Naerym that people may point out: I myself am Queer Nonbinary and use they/them pronouns. Naerym allows me to live vicariously through it with its gender expression as it isn't something I can't feasibly attain. The pronouns it/its are perfectly valid, and I myself am very comfortable being addressed by them.

[spicyraeman]

simple man with simple needs [full ver. here (explicit)]

[herdarkestnightelegance]

HC drabble: Astarion and his books

I'm on my lunch break, soooo ...

Astarion used to love reading before becoming a spawn.

Of course, getting the chance to enjoy a book was barely ever - if at all - an option for him for 200 years. So when he comes across a few books while looting on the first day of his new-found freedom, he takes one with him.

Unable to find sleep that first night, he opens the dusty pages and starts reading. And he falls in love with books all over again. History, stories, travel journals, fables, myths - he finds enjoyment in most books he gets his hands on after that.

Travel journals are his favorite. Even though they hurt him just as much as he enjoys them. Reading about far away lands is bittersweet, but also almost like making up for lost time and chances, living vicariously through the characters in the accounts with a mix of envy and a hunger for knowledge. At least until he gets a chance to visit all these places himself, of course.

Sometimes he even steals borrows some of Gale's tomes and - mostly - pretends to hate them.

Astarion is a fast reader, too, taking every chance, every rest at camp, to stand in front of his tent with his eyes fixed on the words in his hands. Reading by daylight especially feels like a triumph over his former Master.

One night he returns from his hunt to find a new book in his tent. He knows it's from Tav. They have asked about his latest reads most evenings while sitting around the fire. Naturally he always humors them and recounts the stories, even if in a shortened, toned down version, pretending not to care as much as he does.

Tav must have paid close attention. Because they brought him a travel journal about a part of Faerûn he has not read about yet. He enjoys it immensely. And even though he would not admit it to Tav it becomes Astarion's favorite book.

[spacebarbarianweird]

I loved your Tiefy headcanons! Highkey gonna picture horn and tail socks forever now 😭 also making LACE when you inevitably marry him??? Ugh—

But may I posit another race that rarely gets mentioned..? 👀

Half-Orc!Tav, especially if they're nothing like the stereotype and are actually very quiet/timid/gentle despite being this massive wall of muscle 😭 (me living vicariously??? No! Never!)

I love Half-Orcs! I got to know DnD through Neverwinter MMORPG, and my first character was a very cute Half-Orc Ranger. She looked like someone who had a lot of Elven ancestry (she was even more petite than a fem!Tiefling my friend played), but I still love Half-Orcs (though, completely switched to Half - Elves as my preferred race).

So... Half - Orcs!

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Half-Orc!Tav

Unlike Half-Elves, Half-Orcs take the worst from their ancestors.

The Gruumsh, the evil god of your Orcish ancestors, whisper darkness in your ears, demanding to release the rage in your blood

For a human, you look like an orc, you are considered ugly with your green skin and fangs.

As for orcs, even if you wanted to live with them, you would be considered a weak seed.

You were adopted by a childless human couple who ran a tavern in Luskan. You don't know who your parents were but you know it was a story of violence, not of love

You decide to move to Baldur's Gate - you can easily blend with creatures of all races there. And no one will be surprised to see a half-orc there

But the only job you are offered is being a bouncer.

Unfortunately, you are too shy and timid to kick people out or beat them.

Sometimes people yell at you: "Go back to Many-Arrows, where you belong!". And you want to cry because it's not like you have ever been there. You are ugrukh and not welcome among the children of Gruumsh.

Eventually, you find comfort in hunting - the innate rage finds its way out, and you don't really need to talk to anyone except for the people you sell meat to.

Sometimes you don't talk to anyone for weeks.

And it works for you.

Until one day you somehow find yourself in a role of a leader of traumatized and fucked up people.

They are such a bunch of sad excuses for heroes you are done.

You yell at them. You Orcish blood boils in your veins, intimidating everyone in camp.

Beware the rage of a quiet half-orc.

Since that moment, you notice a lot of attention from Astarion.

It's weird since orcs and elves are natural enemies.

You suspect he wants something from you because no one in their right mind would call a green-skinned seven feet tall Half-Orc beautiful. It just doesn't work.

Maybe a real orc would find you more or less pretty, but to be honest, banging a half-orc would threaten them with weak children.

Though, you pity Astarion. You know what it is like to hide in shadows and to be disgusted about your own body.

You listen. You help. You give him blood.

Hoping deep inside, it isn't a cruel joke to mock you later.

He confesses to you, almost crying with embarrassment.

You are hurt. Of course, you were right. It was all manipulation.

You leave him be, going into the woods to hunt, to let out all the distress.

But you know too much about him. It's not fair to punish him for an attempt to make things up.

You return to him sleeping in his tent. You watch him with awe - he is so delicate, so fragile, as if made of glass.

Suddenly he starts breathing heavily as if someone is chasing him.

He screams. You've never heard anyone screaming so loud and desperate. He sounds like someone who is flayed alive.

He wakes up the whole camp, but you order everyone to mind their business.

You make him sit on your lap, wrapping his hand and legs around your torso and start lulling him like a child.

"Neyë, neyë. Ragh ala," you whisper to him.

You press him as tight as you can, stroking his back and hair, while he cries, pressing his face into your chest.

You sit like that for what feels like an eternity, when Astarion finally composes himself and mutters. "You are aware I speak Orc, are you?"

"Yes, I heard you practicing some compliments, but you couldn't choose the worst language for that."

You just ask for one thing. Never lie to you. Never say anything he doesn't really mean.

"If I ever hear you saying I am beautiful I wil hit you."

"But isn't a lie. I mean it."

One day, he untangles your hair and braid it.

The other, he takes your hands and fixes your nails.

"Gods, you are beautiful", he greets you every time you come to him.

"You promised not to lie."

"I don't lie.."

And… suddenly you stop hating your own reflection or hiding your body in rags.

Or choosing the worst pieces of clothes for yourself. You even start wearing adornments.

Post-game, you decide to stay in Baldur's Gate. The city is so diverse no one is surprised to see an elf and a half-orc together.

The first thing Astarion does is sew you a dress. It's made of thick black fabric which makes your muscled body look elegant. He even persuades you to wear heels, though it makes you even taller.

Together you open a tavern - Astarion is always inside dealing with customers and you bring food from the woods.

When he drinks your blood, he always sits on your lap, while you place your hand on his inner thigh.

You often carry him around bridal style - elven bones are hollow and orkish muscles are made of steel.

When you are upset, he puts everything aside and hugs you whispering: "Neyë, neyë. Ragh ala"

---

Orcish Language

Source

Neyë, neyë. Ragh ala. - come here, come here. Calm down.

Ugrukh - broken bones. Used to refer to those too weak and lame to be worthy of an orc's attention

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

[hardcorepug]

Character sketches of my Tav/Theo and Astarion. I like to live vicariously through him.

My head cannon being, after the end events of the game Theo brought Astarion back to his forest to live with him and there, Astarion started to learn Druid Craft from Theo.

[moyashidoodles]

Tiny doodles of Pidge (my Tav) from act 1 and early act 2. Her hair changed for each act so it’s easy to tell where they are in their journey by how disheveled she looks.

Pidge is a wild magic sorcerer with an affinity for soul magic. She can see the color of others souls (I don’t consider this game breaking, but also it’s my brain baby so idc if that’s possible in the 5e rule set) there are some supplemental fan spells and materials for adding soul magic and flavor and there’s the soul knife subclass rogue which I think was a Critical Roll addition? Ugh, look at me spreading misinformation on the internet.

OC lore below the cut.

Content warning: abusive relationship discussion (parent and child), implied sexual and physical abuse.

Anyway, Pidge grew up Rapunzel like with a very controlling and narcissistic “mother knows best” mom. The only reason her mother even had a child was to be a “spare” body for when her mother succumbed to a fatal illness (and to help her mother transfer souls into soul coins and gems to be bartered in the 9 hells. Lots of devil’s work)

Pidge’s mother is controlling to the extent that Pidge was not allowed to learn anything about her wild magic and spent much of her life warded to keep her from accessing the weave. “For her own safety,” of course. The only magic she was allowed and praised for learning was soul magic, and this was to help her mother with her research into immortality and with business ventures.

Pidge was also used as “entertainment” for her mother’s important guests. Basically anything that her mother could get from Pidge, she would try to use to her benefit.

About 3-5months before the beginning of the game, Pidge escaped and crafted an amulet to protect her body and soul from being hijacked by her mother.

She is the only member of the bg3 origin crew who did not lose skills when she was infected by the tadpole. She didn’t really have skills to begin with. Much to Gale’s dismay, she learns basically on the fly and does a lot of “firebolt first, ask questions later.” To her, practical experience is much more important than book learning. Really she has adhd and can’t rote memorize for the life of her.

She identifies with Karlach early on as they both have had dealings with the hells, although Pidge is just beginning to understand the ramifications of her mother’s hellish business of soul coin forging.

Pidge is also very afraid in act 1 of Gale finding her out as she was told to keep her soul magic affinity secret by her mother. In truth the stigma for soul magic is not so bad, but it was a manipulation technique to keep Pidge from explaining to any magic practitioners what they were working on and how her mother planned to use the research to steal Pidge’s body.

Her mother is still hunting her down, so Pidge needs a permanent solution or soul barrier to keep herself from her mother “living vicariously” through her.

Bodily autonomy is stupid important to her. She rejects the Emperor the moment he tells her to “embrace her ilithid potential” for fear of losing herself. She is self conscious to the extreme and keeps notes on her newfound companions likes and dislikes so she can keep them happy. She had a legitimate panic attack when both Gale and Astarion wanted the necromancy of Thay because, according to her calculations, they would disapprove if the other was the recipient.

She fell for Astarion after rather disliking him for a good ten day or two. He won her over by being actually reliable in scrapes and being really funny. She can’t remember the last time anyone made her laugh, so she loves the feeling. They are the two smooth brained members of the group. Similar brain cell count.

This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. If you made it to the end, then you will have made it to the end! *salutes in Barcus Wroot*

[certifiedspreadsheetlover]

Happy Pride from Kristofferson and the boys!

Okay so

BG3 has actually done a lot for me as a queer person. Something about the near endless possibilities of who you can be and who you can love- it just really helped me. I quite literally spent my whole life feeling like I was wrong, confused, or just plain hopeless. Over a decade ago I began to wonder why I didn't like the experience of girlhood, or why the way I loved boys was so different than how my gal pals loved boys. I always wondered "Why can't I be a boy AND kiss boys?" in the majority of video games that I had the opportunity to play. When I played a boy in a game, I wasn't thrilled at only being able to romance girls. When I romanced boys, I wasn't thrilled that I had to be playing a girl to do it. I first played BG3 when my husband (fiancé at the time) called me over and said "Hey look, you can choose their dicknballs!" while in character creator. So I decided to fuck around and play with the character creator, but then I wanted to actually play the game. So I bought it for myself.

My first Tav was a barbarian named Opus. When I made him, my thought process was "Hehe big strong man." As I played the game, I really felt like I was living through Opus. Despite the fact your dialogue is kinda limited, I felt like Opus was ME. I wanted to be him. I lived vicariously through him. I literally stayed up at night thinking "Damn, I wish I was him."

Months pass by, I've beaten the game many times. I have almost 2K hours. (stay at home wife vibes) I'm playing as my newest and most treasured boy Kristofferson. And I cried. I cried for hours. I asked my husband "Why can't I be like the men I create for my stupid little game where I kiss dudes and fight dragons?" To which my husband said,

"You can."

And I finally realized that they were right. I can. I had been pushing my feelings down for years, thinking it's just passing thoughts or- cringe as it may sound- thinking it was "just a phase." Who knew that a video game where you smooch wizards and fight dragons would be an important part of this journey for me? (Not to mention just how much it has helped me as a traumatized individual, but that's a tangent for another day) Quite literally this game was able to help me self reflect, decide what I want for my life, figure out who I am, and who I am- is a gay ass dude named Sheet.

Happy Pride Everybody.

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

Hiya! Look, none of my friends play bg3 and I just NEED to vent pls

I’m on my 3rd playthrough rn ¬– the previous two I made it to the beginning of Act 3 and got curios for a different scenario. Anyway – for the 3rd I picked Durge and wanted to try a semi-evil playthrough to see some new interactions that I haven’t gotten in the previous two. (spoilers below, I guess)

And I’m so frustrated?? Like, I wanted to try and ascend Astarion – the prick dumped me immediately because I refused to become his spawn?? Hello? Durge is literally a demigod, no way he’s becoming a spawn! And there seems to be no way to stay with A!Astarion without him turning you?

In act 2 I wanted to see what Shart would do when she becomes dark justiciar, so I let her kill the Nightsong. So turns out, the only way to get DJ Shart is to let nightsong die and subsequently kill ALL TIEFLINGS AND HAPRISTS?? So no more Jaheira, no chance to save Minsc in act 3? No Rolan? No chance for Karlach to get her engine fixed slightly?

These decision literally cut so much from the Act 3 interactions, I’m seriously considering reloading to save Nightsong lmao

Have you tried an evil scenario? How was it for you? Bc right now it’s like no fun for me haha

Oh as much as I love the idea of an evil play through I’ll cry over the pixels if I’m mean to anyone. I’ve relegated myself to scrolling tumblr and living vicariously through others’ games.

Like doing an evil durge or even evil aligned Tav is such a fascinating concept and a 180 from how I usually play games, but I just can’t bring myself to do it either

[nightmarist]

postgame spoilers

so, my tav, Tareth, encouraged gale to take up the crown and challenge mystra.

if my playthrough wasnt bugged, he would have encouraged astarion to ascend. seeing astarion's ascension in other games, its very striking how different he acts when you encourage him and continue the cycle of abuse and power (and abuse of power).

for tareth, whose Been Through Some Shit, he like Gale and Asatrion wanted to encourage them to overtake those who hurt them and steal their glory, their power, for themselves in a way he himself always wanted to, selfishly living vicariously through astarion and gale.

i frequently forget how Hubristic gale is. hes so casual about it compared to astarion's more obvious (if you excuse the choice of words) bloodlust. astarion isnt hiding that he just wants power for himself and make people suffer, but gale makes excuses like its a Good thing for him to be powerful, uses the guise that its Good for Other People. i don think hes particularly malicious, I think he really does believe he means to do good, which is always an interesting arc to me.

anyway, tareth encouraged gale to take the crown and so he becomes a god. and tareth is disappointed he became exactly what gale said he was against. he is cold, at arms length, his mother misses him.

and curiously, raphael is nowhere to be seen.

maybe a god of ambition on raphael's side is exactly what he wants. maybe he thinks that, in a few millenia, gale will fall and the crown will be his. i dont know his game (and havent seen his ending yet), but its verrrryyyy interesting.

hmmmm its also giving me ideas to revisit my gale/astarion (bloodweave, right?) fic ideas. one i had in mind was Netherese Tyrant Gale and Ascended Astarion becoming the new absolute. Maybe ill do a playthrough of one of them, romance the other, just to see how it goes. astarion worshiping his god-lover of Pure Ambition seems like a fatal combination. Astarion the Chosen of Ambition, owner of the Necromancy of Thay.

Gale said he's already being worshiped in Thay, which was alarming/interesting to hear. Necromancer Astarion Galerian Chosen would be quiet the fucked up little delight.

[undead-potatoes]

i was gonna send you an ask about one of your bg3 character's but you've answered so many i don't even know where to start. they sound amazing btw. you're making me wanna do a proper durge run. and im in love w jay. so my question now is, are there any other character concepts floating around in your head that you wanna play? any classes you're curious to try?

YES please do a Durge run! It's so fun whether you resist or give into it, great stuff (although not for the squeamish).

And I do! I've had this idea for a bard that's a drag queen, something I would never be able to pull off in a live tabletop setting, but could feasibly do as a game character like Tav.

I'd love for them to just be painfully normal and well adjusted. No real trauma or family issues or shitty gods, just some poor soul who got squidnapped on their way to/from work who is having the worst few months of their life. They have 2 moms who run a florist business, a half-elf and a half-orc. They like to paint in their spare time. They have big pretty city boy vibes, hates camping but has a surprising amount of knowledge of surviving in the woods bc their moms would take them out there all the damn time as a kid.

It's very early stages tho, like I don't have a name (real or otherwise), and I only have a very basic outline of their personality. They're some flavor of non-binary/genderqueer, and I think maybe ace.

Gonna keep cooking them in my head for a bit, see where I go with it, if they actually get anywhere. Probably just have to make them in the character creator and it'll be all downhill from there.

Also wizard is really fun to play, but I just live vicariously through Gale so I'm good :^)

[idiotxwizard]

I have BG3 Brain Rot and I don’t even own a PC. I have twice now forced my boyfriend to play it while sharing his screen on discord so I can dictate our Tav’s actions. I’m playing through him and occasionally allowing him to take our Tav places I didn’t notice because I was too distracted talking to rats. All I can think about is all my great boyfriends and girlfriends and all the fun we’re gonna have dismantling a cult and avenging our respective storylines.

(And also my one Actual Boyfriend who is kind enough to let me live vicariously through him)

[zhengzi]

look, I'll be honest

as much as i love astarion and romancing him in my current playthrough, it basically sorta feels like im romancing myself. we don't have the same traumas but our trauma responses are so similar. I completely understand why he disapproves of your tav doing hero shit, I fucking would too if I actually meet someone like that because for one, they don't actually exist and two, seemingly 'nice' people have turned out to be utter dicks in my experience so I get it astarion. so that's maybe why I was actually able to romance him easily since I could actually understand his psychology, his reactions and behaviour make a lot of sense to me as someone with similar hangups and bitterness about the world. which is probably why im not actually viscerally attracted to him, and instead vicariously live through his relationship with my tav who cares about him and is doing the right things for him.

gale on the other hand however has genuinely made me swoon. i haven't fully romanced him yet but i really couldn't help but flirt with him as well, but his open attraction to my tav actually made me giggle and kicking my feet up like a little girl. honestly gale is my actual type, he's nerdy, sweet and has very strong feelings and feels deeply about things. the way he talks about the things he likes is super endearing to me. like ugh he's actually really hot and attractive.

im pretty impatient right now trying to finish my current run so I can do my next playthrough with my same character romancing gale instead.