#lmao I wrote this all night until 8 am

[hannyoontify]

seventeen as your older brothers

warnings | mentions of food/snacks, implications of alcohol consumption (not the reader), friendly insults (pls lmk if i missed anything)

notes | this has been a brain rot for a while now, so i’m glad that i have this writen down now lol. This was like a brain dump for me LMAO like i was js writing whatever came to mind when i imagined each member as an older brother. oh also this has no correlation with any of the members' siblings/lineage. pretend it’s in an alternate universe where you’re their only sibling

seungcheol 

for other people, it was always ‘sorry my folks won’t let me’ to hanging out with friends. but for you? oh no no no it was ‘... seungcheol said no’ and everyone knew there was no refuting it bc once cheol makes up his mind, there was no changing it. he’s like your third parent, always calling and making sure that you’re where you’re supposed to be. on days when you come back late at night, it was seungcheol who’s patiently waiting for you in the living room, not your parents (he had convinced them to go to sleep and swore to stay awake until you got home) but like he would be such a sweet, protective older brother :(( if he’s out grabbing snacks or groceries, he always makes sure to grab a bag of your favorite snacks and when he gets home, he js silently drops it on your bed and leaves your room. and omg sometimes he would help out with your math and chem homework, and nine times out of ten, it led to both you and your dad getting yelled at by cheol at 10 pm at night at the kitchen table bc neither of you could understand cos, sin, and tan 

jeonghan 

having jeonghan as your older brother would be so interesting omg like when you guys were younger, you were able to count on one hand the number of times you’ve won a game against him. he always said that it was bc he was js better than you but everyone and their mother knew that the little shit eater (affectionate) was shoving uno cards up his sleeves whenever he could. as you guys get older, he would probably cheat his way out of doing chores and leave you to do the dishes all on your own. he would only come back later bc he felt bad and he would help you put away the cutlery. he would randomly come into your room and stand by the doorway for 3 minutes before he js leaves LOL omg and when you were in middle school, he packed your lunch everyday and occasionally wrote a note that reminded you to do drink water bc you never fucking drink water and it pisses jeonghan off

joshua

DUDEEE i think you would be that friend who has a cute older brother. like that one time shua gave you and your friends a ride to the beach, your friends were all giggling and shit in the backseat whenever he smiled. at one point, you had to scold joshua bc his friendly behavior had all of your friends crushing on him and told him to stop being so nice but he js laughed and ruffled your hair. but i feel like having joshua as a brother would be so nice. like if you were in a bad mood, he always left food and water outside your door and texted you smth like ‘there’s food outside if you want any. you can do so much better than that jerk anyway’ AHHH AND AND when you were still in school, there were some days where shua comes home at 5 am, covered in glitter and smelling like alcohol and sweat. he would go into the kitchen, where you’re eating breakfast before going to school, and he would js grab a cup of water, ruffle your hair as a greeting before disappearing into his room. the first time that happened shua made you swear up and down that you wouldn’t tell your parents (you didn’t and you never have)

junhui

JUN WOULD BE SUCH A FUN BIG BROTHER LMAO LIKE he would conjure up the most random food concoctions in the kitchen at 2 am and then force have you be the taste tester. 8 times out of 10 it was edible, but once in a while, you would have to spit out the lump of… burnt charcoal?? you spit it out and complain that it tastes disgusting and junhui would js laugh at you. it was disgusting, but you considered it some of your favorite memories with jun. and you guys would have like an unspoken kind of connection like you guys can stare at each other and js understand how the other person’s feeling it’s rlly nice actually, to have a brother who js knows how you feel without saying a word. OH and you guys would def watch comedy shows together late at night and you guys def have inside jokes from the shows you watch heh

hoshi

oh my god imagine hoshi as your older brother holy crap. i feel like he would either be a super protective older brother or an older brother who acts like a younger one. like your parents genuinely questioned how hoshi could be older than you sometimes. but having him as your older brother regardless of either would be so fun. like the mafia game is def 100% banned from family gatherings bc last time it happened, soonyoung was doing cartwheels around the living room, screeching and accusing your great aunt of being the mafia LMAO LIKE bro takes mafia a little too seriously LMAOO but seriously like you probably started his horanghae agenda. when you guys were younger, he was obsessed with tiger patterned things and so you started calling him ‘tiger’ as a joke and it js kinda stuck (woozi hates you for that btw) oh but he would be so annoying like if he sees you with your crush, later that day he’ll be like ‘oooooo was that one person you were talking-’ and you have to throw a handful of lettuce to shut him up

wonwoo

the most chillest older brother EVER. like if you randomly walk into his room and ask for a ride to the mall for you and your friends, he would put down his book and grab his car keys without a second thought. and if your parents said no to hanging out with friends, you knew that wonwoo would find a way to sneak you out later. i feel like when you guys are hanging out together, you would each be doing your own thing. he would send you a meme via messages instead of js showing you on his phone since you were on the other side of the couch and then you guys would js laugh about it together. i feel like wonwoo would be like a ‘silent but deadly’ kind of protective brother. like he doesn’t stop you from going out and trying out things but if you’re ever in trouble, he’s always one call away. like he is such a supportive and understanding brother i love <3

woozi 

jihoon as your older brother would be so interesting. like he’s always staying up and working until the crack of dawn in his studio but if he sees you awake past 12 am he would be upset that you weren’t getting enough sleep. ‘go to sleep, it’s past your bedtime’ ‘IM A GROWN ASS ADULT JIHOON’ ooo also i think jihoon would be like a little more serious older brother. like if you ever had any worries or concerns, woozi would immediately put down whatever he was doing to listen intently to what you had to say. whether you wanted advice or some comforting words, jihoon always has something to say that would make you feel better. he would also randomly stop by your room to make sure that you’re doing alright and that you were taking care of yourself. ooo and if you’re into music, he would be your #1 supporter and critic LMAO like right after your piano recital he would go up to you and say ‘you could’ve worked on the dynamics a little more’ before handing you a big ass bouquet of flowers ‘good job today, you did amazing’

minghao 

meditation sessions together!! if hao notices that you’re looking a little too stressed, he would force you to get out of your room and have you meditate with him in the living room. he still kinda thinks of you as his baby sibling. he gets worried that you’re overdoing it sometimes and makes sure that you’re taking it easy. he’ll randomly text you throughout the day to make sure that you’re doing alright and if he’s making himself a cup of tea, he always asks you if you want some too. oh and he would definitely help you with your homework when you need it. OH OH OH AND ALSO i feel like he would be a rlly good listener. like you can vent to him all you want and he won’t judge you at all, just listen and nod his head until you feel better

mingyu

mr gyu!!! lowkey tho i feel like he could be an annoying older brother LMAO like kinda like jeonghan he’ll come into your room, knock over something and then just leave. you thought it was annoying but you knew it was his way of showing that he cared about you and making sure that you were doing alright. and if he makes food, he always makes sure to leave some extras in the fridge for you so you could never stay mad at him for anything. oh my god and if you ever start dating someone get ready for the older brother interrogation!! his bigger, physical build would scare the living crap out of your partners LMAO ‘touch [Name] and you’re done for’ kinda vibe and it’s true but he’s also like ‘new friend!!’ but he’s gonna make sure that he intimidates them first before befriending them lol also i feel like when you guys were younger, despite being the younger one, you got mingyu into trouble more than you did lolz

dokyeom

dokyeom is like a 2+1 deal lol like he’s your older brother but he’s also your best friend. you’re somehow always looped into his dumb antics but he’s the only one that gets in trouble for it. oh oh oh and if you’re in a bad mood, he’ll burst into your room with his portable karaoke machine and disco lights to cheer you up. omg and he would like change the lyrics of the song ‘why is my little sibling crying~~~ don’t you know you get 100 times uglier when you cry~~~ that piece of shit wasn’t worth it anyway~~~ stop crying and join me in my singING~~~~~’ it always manages to cheer you up and before the tears have all dried up, you’re already laughing while you’re singing with dokyeom (you really appreciate how hard he works to cheer you up)

seungkwan

okay bc why is arguing with him lowkey funny LMAO LIKE seungkwan will be chilling in his room and you’ll barge in, yelling at him for leaving the toilet seat up LMAO or not cleaning up all the hair he sheds after a shower and he’ll start yelling back in his defense LOL and omg we all know how much seungkwan loves his mom so in most cases, if you ever do anything, seungkwan’s gonna immediately run to your mom ‘MOMMM THEY’RE DOING IT AGAINNNN’ but yea you guys would def get into immature fights abt the TV remote control or who gets to sit in shotgun lol but also i feel like seungkwan would be kind of like subtle in the way that he shows that he cares for you. like he’ll always make sure your favorite snack is stored in the pantry and restock it the day that it disappears, and he knows you’re sensitive to the cold, so if you ever fall asleep with your window open, he’ll come in and close it so you don’t wake up the next morning with a sore throat. you both dance and sing to wonder girls together whenever he visits home and he’ll throw his slipper at you if you get a single dance move or lyric wrong ‘i can’t believe i’m related to you’

vernon

NO BC VERNON WOULD BE THE SWEETEST, BEST OLDER BROTHER EVER :(((( like when you guys were younger, he would read you bedtime stories and if you were crying, he would silently hold your hand while you get consoled by your mother until you feel better. i can imagine hansol walking you and dropping you off at school before going to his own, and he always makes sure to see you enter the building before he leaves to go to his own school (stop this is making me so soft) and when you guys are older, similar to wonwoo, he doesn’t really intervene in your life and the choices you make unless it’s smth really dumb and a bad ending was inevitable. like he doesn’t pry about your personal life but he occasionally checks in to make sure that you’re feeling alright and he always lets you know that he’s always there if you need to talk to someone abt anything. he kinda joins in whatever nonsense you do, like you have an extra concert ticket? vernon is your ride + concert buddy. you wanna go to the beach? vernon already has his sunscreen applied. you’re running away and joining the circus? you guys can be a duo act

dino

omg literally thing 1 and thing 2 like i feel dino would also be a sibling that you would get into petty arguments with. ‘stop calling me your younger brother, i’m literally [insert number] of years/days older than you’ ‘then maybe you should start acting like it- STOP I DIDN’T MEAN IT I’M SORRY HELP’ (he started tickling you) LMAO LIKE lowkey you guys can argue but you know it’s over if you guys ever get into a physical brawl, cuz bro knows how to FIGHT. he can throw a mean punch and you’ve witnessed firsthand what his fists could do (he beat up a school bully in 7th grade) i feel like you two would get along like 2 peas in a pod tho (secretly when no one’s looking) like you guys are always on the same wavelength and have similar habits that you guys picked up from each other. and despite being the younger sibling, chan often fell victim to your pranks and jokes (poor boy save him) and similar to dk, it was like having a best friend and a brother all in one and you can bicker with him all you want

reblogs and feedback is always appreciated ^-^

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

ANOTHER REASON WHY I ADORE SONIC'S COLOUR PALETTE IN HIS WEREHOG FORM-

okok I REALLY wanna touch on when Sonic's demeanor does that complete 180 so I'll just skip right ahead to that lmao

(I fuccin loooooove your comic)

uhm

Well it's actually really obvious, just look at what I said last time ig??

It's not just the praise though, now that I think about it. Like you said, Sonic's just happy to be given the chance to eat, which the thought itself is pretty relatable lmao- But if you think about it, Sonic hasn't really had much to eat, at least from what us, as the readers, have seen. Obviously, he could've just had normal meals with his friends in the morning and afternoon like he normally would and you just skipped over it cuz we aint got time for dat shizzle!

(I would like to see a couple pages of that tbh, especially after all the LORE that our boyz have been put thru. NO PRESSURE THOUGH, it's your comic so you do what you want!)

Though I am lead to believe, based off of the very late nights that Sonic has been having for the past like 2-3 weeks or so, that this isn't the case. And the way that Tails and Sonic interacted earlier on in this issue makes me think that they didn't see each other at all that day. Sonic's Werehog form disappears once the sun has gone mostly above the horizon, aka probably like 8-9AM, and due to the painful transormation back to his regular form, the poor guy might wanna stay in bed a few more minutes. Meaning he's probably missed breakfast almost every friggin day.

Meaning he hasn't had a proper meal aside from the little offerings that people give him at like 2:55 AM.

Meaning he want soop.

By the way, there's something I noticed about Sonic's color palette! (I wrote "Colour" and it was automatically underlined with red. American English is so wack wtf??) When he immediately steps inside to take the food offering, with Shadow following close behind, Sonic's colors suddenly gain a much warmer tint to them, like his heart and mind is being replenished with warm feelings. The environment he's in has shifted completely to a much more homely and gentle environment, and so too did Sonic's colors. As the extrovert that he is, he's metaphorically sucked up everyone's good emotions and has channeled it through his vibe, and now instead of looking like a big scary monster, he just seems like a harmless little fluff-ball. Even his markings have dimmed to the point of being almost unnoticeable! (Not literally but you get my point)

Shadow's color palette, meanwhile, doesn't really seem to shift all that much until I think the last panel, but I'm pretty sure that's just me.

Also Shadow may or may not have deserved that spoon/soup slap for more reasons that just overworking himself-

IT'S COLOR THEORY BAYB!!!!!!! outside=cold inside=warm

[clood]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @storybookprincess, @hxhhasmysoul, and @subdee—given the triple tag by such lovely folks i can't just not xD

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

44

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

211,669

3. What fandoms do you write for?

so far i have only written for hunter x hunter, even though i haven't written and posted much for it (or anything) this year. i am soooo close to catching up with one piece and i want to write zosan and shuggy and when i do it's over for everyone. it's been the only other thing in a long time that has tempted me to write fanfiction!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

similarly to subdee, most of my top kudos-ed fics are some of the very first things i wrote for the hxh fandom and the fics i am most known for still xD

however, similarly to liv, i don't love looking at my stats by kudos lmao. instead i shall list my current 5 favorites, regardless of their kudos standing heehee

housewarming: leorio and kurapika have planned a small dinner with their friends to christen their new home, though it does not go exactly as planned. aka the only happy leopika i have written to date xD including any and all wips

until death: after finding the nostrade boss dead, kurapika must make a decision that could change the course of his life, and, perhaps, someone else's. this is a criminally underrated fic, in my not so humble opinion!!!

just a little fun: leorio finds himself drawn to a stranger at a club and ends up with just a little more than he's bargained for. I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS ONE LOL

where are you roaming?: Gon has been sent by his father, the illustrious ghost hunter Ging Freecss, to investigate the Zoldyck Manor and its many instances of poltergeist activity. What he finds is nothing at all like the stories he's heard. this one is always always always going to be a favorite, i love it so much

night watchman: Gon has nightmares and Killua saves him from them. (aka five times Killua was there to save Gon from himself and one time he wasn't) a Clood Classic (TM) that will always have a special place in my heart. she's dramatic. she's second person. she's one of the first ones i ever wrote

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh god i try to. basically i will be staring at my inbox for a week after i post something so i can reply right away, but then comments on fics i haven't recently posted remain as unread emails so that the notification haunts me. i have some i need to respond to now.. actually..

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

by far it has to be until death. that whole fic is angst city usa and the ending is no exception xD

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm a lot if not most of my fics have a happy ending... i vote housewarming for sappiest, arms unfolding for most classically romantic, and long lost for most heartwarming.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

if anyone does hate on me, they do it in the private confines of their discord chats, and this is how i would prefer it to stay. closest i've gotten i think is once someone was annoyed that i probably wasn't going to make gon and ghost-killua get it on and then i guess they got embarrassed that i replied to that comment and they deleted it hajdkshajdhak

9. Do you write smut?

i have written precisely one smut fic: hands on a clock, hands on your hips. i was so embarrassed about it i published it anon originally then decided that was stupid and un-anoned it. however i will be writing buggy/shanks smut soon because detachable hands has me thinking all sorts of thoughts.

10. Do you write crossovers?

crossovers are not really my thing, never have been!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nah, i am not famous (tm)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i think i would cry if i did!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i actually have—as part of a greed island server event! spirit astray, september leaves, havoc in the hot springs, and hacker say what were written with kessya, shal, and hanamii as part of a 4-person fic exchange event :)

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

the nostalgia for my 2021 killugon days is screaming that the only answer is killugon...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

the only wip that's live on ao3 is chip aisle, which i think someday maybe i could be persuaded to finish. i was on an idol au kick when i started it and it was originally just gonna be a oneshot, but then another greed island card led to another couple chapters.. maybe someday.

16. What are your writing strengths?

unsure if this is a strength but i can write some fat ass sentences. and nice chunky paragraphs every now and then. i like to focus on the little details in a scene too, which i think is fun.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i suck at planning ahead and outlining. i feel like i end up patching a lot of plot holes because of it lol. i also feel like i can be repetitive and long-winded sometimes

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm on the fence about it, honestly. it has situations where it could fit, but i don't think i have encountered one yet in my own writing where it didn't feel awkward or forced to have it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

DELTORA QUEST ON FANFICTION DOT NET BABEY!!!!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

i think where are you roaming? is my all-time favorite. i just love it so much, i think i did a good job with the world/situaion-building even though there are definitely some of those plothole patches i mentioned earlier.

i believe i'm supposed to tag 20 people but i am simply not capable of sending a notification to 20 people's inboxes so... @extratt413, @chubsthehamster, @shalnarkonice, @fireolin, anyone who used a blue mug today to drink their coffee, and anyone else who wants to do this you can say i tagged you!!

[pan-de-queer]

20 Questions Game

Tagged by @jadedloverart! for once, i've finished work early and am free to write fic and answer tag games today hahaha thanks for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

31 lmao, feeling a lil fandom old or whatever haha

2. Total AO3 word count

157,459 ??? wild considering i mostly post one-shots hahaha

3. Fandoms you write for

for the past few years it's been supercorp but you can also find bechloe, junksen/embry, some choices (the cyoa game), and les mis sprinkled in my ao3. all wlw too

4. Top 5 fics by kudos -

ruined nights make for perfect first dates (bechloe)

'cause you know all of my secrets (supercorp)

maybe i matter (because i knew you) (bechloe)

love tastes like spring and blood (bechloe)

kept my face to the sun (you drive away my shadows) (supercorp)

most interesting thing for me abt this is that ruined nights is the shortest one out of all five of these??? love that ppl liked it so much tho

5. Do you respond to comments?

as much as possible yeah! which reminds me that i haven't replied to @jadedloverart's comment on my fic. and other comments. i should do that hahaha

6. Fic w/ Angstiest Ending -

i don't end with angst haha i'm angst with a happy ending or bust lmao BUT the closest to angst would probably be love tastes bc the issue isn't solved until the very end

7. Happiest ending? -

all of them 💕 but if i had to choose then probabbbly cause you know

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not that i'm aware of!

9. Do you write smut/what kind?

nope! never been interested in writing it mostly bc my brain sees it as "action with even more emotions" and i have a hard enough time with action as it is lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

used to! and if you count the mcu+comics!marvel crossover i only posted a tidbit of, then yes, i still do

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

again, not that i know of

12. Ever had a fic translated?

yeah! can't remember for what tho but someone very kindly asked and i said ofc!! and then they sent the link but i can't remember where lmao

13. Ever cowritten a fic?

a long long time ago haha, wouldn't be opposed to doing it again though!

14. Favorite ship?

it's been supercorp since the pandemic! but who knows where the winds of my silly lil whims might take me?

15. A wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all of them 💕 lmao jk jk but seriously i have a LOT of wips and i put them all under ONE file so it's like wading through a garbage dump trying to see what i'll do next and that's just for supercorp, i have separate untouched wips for allll my other old fandoms too lmao (some wips i doubt i'll ever finish for sc though are the undercover fake lovers one, the coastal cleanup one even though it SHOULD be easy in theory, the hanahaki au that's lena's version instead of kara's, and the one based off of emily the song by jeremy zucker)

16. Writing strengths?

anything descriptive! i can go in depth about shit forevveeerrrr

17. Writing weaknesses?

dialogue. like i can WRITE it and i can even write it WELL but that dialogue came from the bloodbath of thousands of drafts so

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in a different language?

many thoughts! number one being that if you don't know it, get someone who's above average fluent to help you if you feel like the language is needed in the story! and if the language is fake (like using kryptonian) then make the inclusion of it make sense! other thoughts are for my thinking only 💕 (and my unfortunate friends who have to listen to me lecture)

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

MAYBE ranger's apprentice or percy jackson

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

i can't pick favorite for my babies but i'm hella proud of all my supercorp fics rn! it had been so long since i joined a new fandom that i felt suuupppeerrr awkward posting at first! but it's been a nice experience shifting fandoms ever since :)))

for the no pressure tags! @nostradamus0 @sssammich @ridiculously-over-obsessed @tiny-maus-boots and anyone else who wants to join!

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Hey... Do you know the song sung by the voice actor from the pilot Hazbin Hotel? Called Thank you and goodnight. Weirdly this song reminds me of Mystic Messenger, despite being a new fan and having been into this game until this year 2024 I already felt a connection, seeing old posts about this game from an old fan somehow makes me tear up. Despite I'm a fan of 2024, I somehow feel nostalgic about this game despite never actually experience it before

Yes!!!! I remember I teared up so much from that song.

Honestly mystic messenger is such a beautiful game! It helped me (ironically???) when I was struggling so much. I remember when I wrote my first HC in here, honestly I’d never thought I’d end up meeting so many amazing people! It’s truly beautiful how a piece of media can unite everyone and have people create amazing works of art and writing and music and everything!

I’m so glad you found the game, even if it’s late! It’s a great story, with lovable characters that even though it’s been like…omg 8?! EIGHT YEARS?!?!? (Hold on time related crisis happening rn)

Since it’s release, people still have a spot for them in their hearts!

Mystic messenger and this blog, really helped me start writing! And while I got a huge writers block and am now on different fandoms, it’s still a wonderful game that I’m glad people are still enjoying and playing! I feel so lucky for those who get to experience that wild rollercoaster for the first time!

I remember the alarms, the laughter from Seven or Jumin’s messages, the tears from the heart wrenching parts of the story, the confusion as to why the MC didn’t have eyes and why they didn’t leave WHEN THERE WAS A BOMB IN THE APARTMENT!

The gasps at the reveals, the plot twists! The way you would hear the music and immediately be teleported to that game, how the strings and piano would make you feel so much happiness and as if you were flying, only to then have the super dramatic music come and and BAM you feel your heart race and you keep worrying if your favorite character is going to be ok, and WHAT IS HAPPENING I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DATING GAME?!?

Getting to feel what the characters feel, feeling part of the story. Ironically though the game already has pre made choices you do feel as if it’s you or your character talking to them.

It’s been a few years since I’ve actually had MM in my phone. I actually remember the first time I downloaded it- it had just come out, and my dumbass thought you could actually SPEAK to them?!? So I remember Zen calling and me going “hello..?” In a whisper since it was night and everyone else was sleeping lmao.

I remember how I’d take full advantage of spring break and all those vacations from school to just grind the fuck out of those hourglasses to get to that Saeran route because by god I was dating that man.

I was pretty lucky bc I remember I did the Zen route first, didn’t even finish it 💀 uninstalled the game, and like a year later got in when they were celebrating a TON of stuff, I don’t remember exactly what it was but I got a lot of hourglasses and immediately went to date Seven lol.

Doing his as your official first route is….💀💀💀💀

I was FLABBERGASTED.

And it’s funny to see how over the years my faves have changed. (I used to have Seven as my #1 until I went the Julian route and OMG THAT MAN I’m sorry Seven I love you so much but…JUMIN HAN)

Anyway sorry for the long ass rant. Mystic messenger has such a special place in my heart, truly. It makes me remember how I got started writing- how through it i met so many lovely people- and while later due to personal reasons I wasn’t able to continue on the scene- I’m glad I got to experience some of it.

And there’s still people that make beautiful content of it! So don’t worry about joining now, feel free to read and see as many things of the fake as you want. Cry and laugh and enjoy everything about this wonderful and silly chat game and the incredible beautiful community it left behind!

Sorry for getting emotional haha, mystic messenger sure is something huh?

I’m a bit busy nowadays but every once in a while I get the urge to play it again haha. I have the ost saved in my study playlist and was in the middle of studying for a test when I hears Jumin’s night theme and the way I TEARED UP? Like I had to low key take a breather because omg I was transported back to those sleepless nights of giggling in my bed while flirting with a 2d man obsessed with his cat pfttt.

What’s funny is that every once in a while I want to install the game again and play it. Sadly I don’t have any time right now, but, I eventually want to have two weeks where I get to see my beautiful and wonderful husbands and wives again 🫶

Keep enjoying the content! I’m so happy you were able to find this precious gem, even in 2024! Play the heck out of it (tho please take a break after each route and keep hydrated or you’ll end up like Saeran 💀😭) !

PS:

You talking about thank you and goodnight reminded me of a series RosMo made about MM.

It’s interactive, after each video I believe you get a google doc and you have to figure some the YouTube links and get a goodbye message from the characters. If you want to cry and have a crack at it (if it’s too hard the comments help a lot I believe) you can see it here! Just be careful of spoilers for all the routes mkay!

Have fun on your Mysme journey! ❤️💜🩷🩵🧡🤍💚💛🤎🚀✨🐱☕️👾🎭📷🍵🧹

[eldritchsurveys]

1161.

Number of Movies/Documentaries I Watched in 2023: 226 Genre I Watched the Most in 2023: I... don't know. horror, probably. Mike showed me what I was doin wrong with using Lboxd so when I take this for 2024 I should hopefully have stuff like genre stats

1. Best Movies I Watched In 2023? >> from each month, one new-to-me favourite and one old favourite that I rewatched: 1. Hagazussa / Velvet Goldmine 2. Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul. / Twelve Monkeys 3. Nanny / The Fly 4. Sugar & Spice / Dead Ringers 5. Rigor Mortis / Birds of Prey 6. Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse / Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story 7. You Won't Be Alone / Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey 8. Swiss Army Man / His House 9. In the Earth / The Woman 10. Perfect Blue / Silence 11. Akira / The House That Jack Built 12. Angel Heart (didn't rewatch a fave in December)

2. Movie I Was Excited About & Thought I Was Going To Love More But Didn’t? >> I wasn't exactly excited about Beau is Afraid but I definitely thought I would enjoy it more than I did. the first 20-30 minutes or so were pretty fun and weird but then it just... *longsuffering sigh* I had also hoped The Blackening would be a bit funnier than it turned out to be. still watchable and I'd still like more Black horror-comedies, but I definitely wanted more guffaws out of it. I'm not even gonna bother talkin about Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania... (at least Kang was good) OH! Renfield! THAT'S the one I was excited for and heavily disappointed by. I knew there was one (also, Last Voyage of the Demeter. not at all my favourite year for Dracula movies, that's for sure)

3. Most Surprising (in a good way) Movie I Watched in 2023? >> I was surprised by both Akira and Perfect Blue because I just assumed they would be a bit inscrutable to me (when a lot of "buffs" speak highly about a work I assume it's some shit I won't understand), but they really drew me in. also surprised by Host (2020) which I'd assumed would be watchable but not really anything to write home about considering the gimmick. but they pulled that one off pretty well!

4. Movie I “Pushed” The Most People To Watch (And They Did) In 2023? .

5. Best Sequel of 2023? Best Ending of a Movie I Watched in 2023? >> Across the Spider-Verse and as for ending I'm just gonna agree with prev "can't beat a dancing naked man" (Saltburn) because that was pretty good

6. Most Action Packed/Thrilling Movies of the Year? >> the John Wick quadrilogy

7. Movie I Watched in 2023 That I Am Most Likely To Re-Watch in 2024? >> In the Earth, The Lodge, maybe Noroi? I might rewatch I Saw the Devil because for some reason I forgot a lot of that one despite enjoying it

8. Favorite Poster for a Movie I Watched in 2023? .

9. Most Memorable Characters/Talent of 2023? >> oof... can I just say Ben Wheatley (director) for talent because he really sucker-punched me with the two movies of his that I watched this year

10. Standout Writing / Directing of a Movie I Watched in 2023? >> obviously that goes to whoever wrote Call Girl Of Cthulhu

11. Most Thought-Provoking/Impactful Movies I Watched in 2023? >> The Vast of Night, Silence, Titane, Perfect Blue, Akira, Aniara. also 2001: A Space Odyssey except the thought it provoked was "why am I still fucking watching this" and the impact it had was "I'm annoyed to the point of anger and I have a splitting headache"

12. Movie I Can’t Believe I Waited Until 2023 To Finally Watch? >> Die Hard lmao. it was way more entertaining than I expected. also how did I go my whole life without ever learning that Alan Rickman was the bad guy in that also Battle Royale and ofc Akira

13. Favorite Scene From a Movie I Watched in 2023? >> oh man this is impossible, give me a break

14. Movie That Shocked Me The Most? (Because of a plot twist, character death, etc.) >> I didn't expect Swiss Army Man to be quite what it was (this is not a complaint, I loved it, but the whole farting business definitely threw me for a loop lol) honestly my bar for shock is seeing Oldboy for the first time last year having never had it spoiled for me and losing my whole ass MIND at the plot twist. nothing has come close to that since

15. OTP (One True Pairing) – You will go down with this ship? >> those two girls from Do Revenge

16. Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship? >> the vampire family in Near Dark

17. Best Movie I Watched In 2023 That I Watched Based SOLELY On A Recommendation From Somebody? >> Noroi: The Curse but also The Adjustment Bureau was an incredibly solid and cute flick (both Sparrow's recs)

18. Most Exciting Worldbuilding/Most Vivid Setting? >> ooo let's see... well, I did rewatch The Neverending Story this year :p Rigor Mortis had a really memorable setting for me but I wouldn't call it exciting OR vivid. like, it was just an apartment building lol. it was just... I don't know. I can't explain it. it sticks in ya El Hoyo (The Platform), maybe? definitely an intriguing setup and setting there. A Field in England was literally just a goddamn field in England but man.... I also like the new worldbuilding ideas Hellraiser (2022) brings to the table.

19. Movies That Put A Smile On My Face/Were The Most Fun To Watch? >> Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, The Ref, Cocaine Bear, Sugar & Spice, Airheads, Polite Society, Totally Killer, Do Revenge, D&D: Honor Among Thieves, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Earth Girls are Easy, both Sister Acts, Call Girl of Cthulhu, Idle Hands, Van Helsing, and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. yeah there were a lot of these this year

20. Movie/Documentary That Made Me Cry Or Nearly Cry in 2023? >> Swiss Army Man and Akira, but also Velvet Goldmine, Do the Right Thing, Crooklyn, and Sister Act 2.

21. Hidden Gem Of The Year? >> not sure how to determine this

22. Movie That Crushed My Soul? >> [insert another snarky comment about 2001]

23. Most Unique Movie I Watched In 2023? >> so many of the movies I've seen this year were incredibly unique to me! let me see if I can find one I haven't already mentioned... ah yes, of course. how could I forget Mad God 💀

24. Movie That Made You The Most Mad (doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t like it)? >> I will refrain from mentioning That Movie again (although that is the true answer lol) and instead I'll go with... Lake Mungo bc I thought that was gonna be way more interesting than it was just based upon the fact that the tumblr girlies used to be all over that shit back in the day

25. Notable Mentions of the Year? >> some more movies I really liked that didn't get a chance to get mentioned yet: The Banshees of Inisherin, Baskın, On the Count of Three, Hell House LLC, Ringu, and Mad Max 2.

Bonus: Favorite Movie Moment?

Bonus: Five Movies I Am Anticipating in 2024? >> Furiosa, the Joker sequel, apparently there's a new Alien flick coming out? Dune Part 1 was Fine, I guess, so I might as well see Part 2 🤷🏿‍♂️ meh

[scattered-winter]

ao3 wrapped !!

I've seen a few people doing this and thought I'd jump on the train lmao

1: how many words have you written this year?

uh. um. 319,614 lmfaooo

2: how many works did you publish this year?

just 5!! it's been a slow posting year but I have a LOT of WIPs I was working on in the meantime lmao

3: what work are you most proud of, regardless of kudos/hits?

bound like quintenary stars, without a doubt. it's the largest scale project I've ever done, and it's really forced me to grow as a writer

4: what work of yours has the most hits?

hold onto me has over 15k hits which is still WILD to me lmfao. if only i could write an update to that thang. and if we're talking just this year, then it's buckley siblings and their terrible, awful, no good very bad first dates at almost 3k

5: favorite title you used?

DEFINITELY buckley siblings and their terrible, awful, no good very bad first dates. i read that book as a kid and i think i'm hilarious

6: what artist have you pulled lyrics from the most:

probably bastille. tbh

7: pairing that you wrote the most for this year:

buddie LMAO. of the 5 fics i posted this year, 3 of them are buddie. I'm not counting quintenary stars in this because as of right now it's still mostly genfic and the romance won't come in until much further down the line

8: favorite pairing you wrote for this year:

only a few people know this but I wrote a LOT of adashi. I'm working on a side piece for quintenary stars that focuses on them pre-kerberos, and there are also a handful of adashi-adjacent aus i've been working on including leverage, agents of shield, and rwby. i'm obsessed with them lowkey

9: what work was the quickest to write?

walking out into the dark, cutting out a different path, led by a beating heart was uh. well. i wrote it in a matter of hours in a haze of mental illness in between the promo for 911 s6e11 and the actual episode dropping later that night. for those of you who don't have the context, a character got struck by lightning and subsequently was lingering on the threshold of death in episode 10, and when the promo for 11 dropped we realized there was going to be a coma dream episode in which the character would experience what should have been his Perfect Life but without all the things that led him to where he was, he never would have had an impact on his friends and family, and there would have been disastrous consequences. I distinctly remember skipping out on an entire day of classes because I was writing this fic LMFAO. and to this day I'm still very proud of it. incredible things come from sheer insanity it seems

10: what work took you longest to write?

seeing as quintenary stars is still ongoing, I'll say you're such a heavenly view. i had just watched prince caspian (again) and was feeling insane (as per usual) but it still took FOREVER to get this thang finished </3

11: what's your longest fic of the year?

quintenary stars is currently sitting pretty on 221,491, making it my longest piece of writing ever. which is pretty cool and also kinda scary because bro. bro i have no idea where these words are coming from

12: what's your shortest fic of the year?

buckley siblings !! it was short and sweet. angst and whump. u guys know what i like

13: favorite character you wrote this year?

oogh...i LOVED writing peter's pov in you're such a heavenly view. i actually would love to write more narnia fic someday. and i also love writing in pidge's pov in quintenary stars she is LITERALLY just like me fr

14: what's one pairing you want to explore more next year?

HEITH. i'm not putting them in quintenary stars but BOY do i want to explore their dynamic. and i am also always down for more caspeter

15: how many kudos in total did you get this year?

579!!

16: which work has the most comments?

quintenary stars! which statistically makes sense to me because it's a multichapter and the others this year are oneshots. but the fic that has the most comments overall is hold onto me

17: did you do any collaborative works this year?

nothing posted on ao3, but there was a lot of collaboration going on behind the scenes! the voltron leverage au in particular is a pretty elaborate project @frigidboy and i are working on together, and he's also been my soundboard for a lot of quintenary stars stuff. I've also been collaborating with various members of The Groupchat (@dauntingday, @soleadita, @xandromedan, @moonlightperseus) on various ongoing projects and aus including but not limited to some rwby aus with day, red and 13 stuff with leo, COUNTLESS aus, ocs, and wips with mads, and some leverage stuff with abby. I've also made some zombie apocalypse ocs with @0xy--m0r0n. and there are probably more things I've collabed with people on but I FORGOR </3

18: what's your most common category?

gen and m/m !! I tend to lean more gen with just a touch of romance most of the time, but more often than not my oneshots will be more explicitly romance

19: what do you listen to while writing?

it varies, but most of the time it will be some kind of orchestral/instrumental music. I have a list of favorite compilations on youtube from hans zimmer and some other favorites that I rotate through, and I also have some playlists on spotify for when I'm not as picky. it also depends on what I'm writing at the time: if I'm writing quintenary stars, I will usually go straight to the voltron soundtrack (or other space sci fi like interstellar or gravity) just because I need a specific vibe. and if I'm writing a battle scene, sometimes I'll pull up another tab and put some space battle ambience over the music, too

20: favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oh god there are SO many favorites. but probably in the coma dream buck fic (walking out into the dark) when I used imagery to draw a connection to the Shooting Scene. like of all the literary things I've pulled over the years I think that one is hands down my favorite

"Shit's crazy here, man," Danny said as he stepped up to the sink beside Evan. "Did you know there was a sniper a few months ago? Some crazy cop was shooting firefighters out in the streets." A chill ran down Evan's spine, coldness settling in the bottom of his gut. Danny turned on the faucet. Water splashed in the bottom of the sink, flung up and out.  Droplets splattered across Evan's face. "Damn," Evan murmured, raising a shaking hand to wipe it away. "Was anyone killed?" "One was," Danny said offhandedly. "He got shot right after a call, middle of the street. Nobody even saw it coming.” Evan was shaking, all over his body. Danny just kept going, like he didn’t even notice. “His team was trapped by the sniper and by the time they got him pulled out, it was too late.” Stay there! I’m coming to you! “The news said his name was Diaz. Eddie Diaz." Evan dropped the plate he was holding. Shards of ceramic flew in every direction, pinpricks of pain prickling at his legs and bare feet. Gunshot in the street. Blood splattered on his face. Asphalt against his cheek. Are you hurt? "Evan?" Danny was looking at him, brows furrowed together. "Are you okay?" Evan swallowed, took in a shaky breath, nodded. He bent and began to gently gather the broken shards in his palm, but something made him pause. "Huh." "What?" Danny was looking at him like he was crazy. "I'm not bleeding." And he wasn't. His legs and feet were untouched; smooth, unmarred skin where only seconds before, he'd been so certain he'd felt cuts. "That's weird," Danny said, before shoving a broom in Evan's hands. "Your mess, your job. You get to finish the dishes."

overall that whole fic was just. probably some of my best work I think. I'm so proud of it fr

21: biggest surprise while writing this year?

i was NOT expecting quintenary stars to get as much engagement as it's been getting!! i feel like everyone's kinda trying to forget voltron ever existed (understandable) so i didn't think there would be much of an audience for it. but there is!!! and i love you guys!!!!!

TAGGING IF U WANNA DO THIS TOO: ppl i've already tagged above, plus @scorchedhearth, @ anyone else who wants to do it !! I'm so sorry I am totally blanking on mutuals/followers/friends who are also writers so if u see this and want to, consider urself tagged !!

[lichfucker]

Twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @bisexualshakespeare !! ty archer 🫀

guess I'll tag @jaynovz @asterofthevoid and @grasslandgirl

this is gonna get long so I am just putting it under a readmore from the jump lmao

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

ten if you include music. eight if you don't

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

103,601

3. What fandoms do you write for?

black sails, community, the fetch phillips archives, and ted lasso. I used to have a cr fic too but I orphaned it bc uhh fuck that noise. on my old account in high school I wrote for community, homestuck, dangan ronpa, and hp :/ but we don't talk abt that account lmao

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sanguine - Ted Lasso, Trent/Ted, M - my vampire!trent au! g-d I still adore this fic in my bones. not surprised at all that it's my most popular by a wide margin; this is the biggest fandom I've written for, and I wrote it at the peak of the show's popularity. I'd like to believe it's worth the hype lmao

Five Girls Annie Almost Kissed and One She Did - Community, Annie/Annie Kim, T - canon-compliant lesbian!annie thesis. an exploration of annie's romantic life from adolescence through season three with a LOT of autobiographical projection lmao. I looked back at my own life and thought, "yeah, that happened to annie too" dflsdf this fic will always be precious to me

Crawl 'Til Dawn - Community, Annie/Britta, M - oh, look, another vampire au! well. this one came first. this is the oldest fic on my account-- I wrote the first seven chapters in the fall of 2016, posted them in early 2017, and then stalled out finishing it until fall of 2021. it's the fic that got me back into writing. the five-year gap is palpable, I think. I'd write it very differently now than I did then. there's something really charming in that, I think

Ner Tamid - Black Sails, Silver/Muldoon implied but it's mostly gen, M - I'm at the jewish!silver character study. I'm at the doldrums cannibalism fic. I'm at the combination jewish!silver character study doldrums cannibalism fic. I had An Episode the night before my mom's birthday, went into A State, and wrote this in one ten-hour sitting. I think it is perfect. wouldn't change a single word

Through His Stomach - Black Sails, FlintHam and SilverFlint and SilverFlintHam in a weird proxy way, E - my magnum fucking opus. dark fairytale hag au. we are two weeks out from this fic's first birthday. at this rate it'll be another four years before I finish it. I learned how to write smut for this fic. the pride I have in this fic is obscene. this is the quintessence of me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! I do! I respond to every single comment! because I like getting comments and I appreciate the people who take the time to leave comments and I want to show them my appreciation by thanking them for their comments! and also because I can't shut up and I will take any excuse to talk about my own work! if you mention one thing offhandedly in a comment I am replying with an entire paragraph about that thing

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooh, this is a tricky one. the obvious answer is Cold, Dark, Depraved, but that one's SO angsty all the way through that the ending is rather... cold and dispassionate by comparison. the other answer is Ner Tamid but I suppose that depends on your definition of angst. there's an air of resoluteness to the ending; it isn't particularly fraught, it's just horrific

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmm. Sanguine, Five Girls, and Crawl 'Til Dawn all end with a getting-together (well, in CTD it happens a bit before the ending, but still). Five Girls has the element of self-acceptance and the confidence to live the rest of your life open and free and unburdened, but Crawl 'Til Dawn has the element of murdering your evil ex and then riding off into the sunset. guess it depends on which makes you happier lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no? I write niche enough stuff that nobody's gonna read it if they're not into it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

as of this year I do! I've been writing fic for over half my life at this point and I was so certain for so long that I would never be comfortable writing smut. and then I came to a scene in hagfic that I knew would hit so much harder if the characters were having sex. so I resigned myself to my fate and I fought through the embarrassment and now look at me. I'm a certified pervert

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no and I don't like reading them, either

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

one of the homestuck fics I wrote in high school got translated into russian but, again, we don't talk about that account

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

how the fuck am I supposed to answer this. how can I possibly choose. obviously the answer is jeff/britta but how do you expect me to pick

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am still holding onto the belief that someday I will write To Cross Running Water, my sprawling black sails canon retelling where everything is the same except flint is a vampire. I refuse to let myself think I will die not having written it.

the actual answer is Say It Out Loud, my other trent/ted vampire au where ted is the vampire this time. I started writing it at the same time I started Sanguine-- literally the exact same moment. I had two word documents open in split screen. then I went all-in on Sanguine for a month (still insane to me that I finished it in a month) and I swore Say It Out Loud was gonna be shorter and faster and sillier, but then. I moved so slowly. and it got bigger and bigger. I got 30k into it-- thirty thousand words into it-- before season three came out. then s3 aired and it was so bad it killed all my enthusiasm for the show, and I really do not know if I'll ever bring myself to finish the fic now. I think it would have ended up being another 15k or so. I'd like to hold out hope that I'll go back to it but the hope diminishes every day

16. What are your writing strengths?

MOOD. mood. tone and mood. florid description. the rhythmic flow of the language-- cadence and meter are so ingrained in my mind; if it SOUNDS wrong, it IS wrong. I have a strong command of language and I can set a lush and vivid scene. and I need to do very little editing. it just springs out from my brain fully-formed like athena from the skull of zeus

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot. concision. speed

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

it's neat when other people do it but I don't know any other languages and I'm not gonna embarrass myself by relying on google translate or w/e

19. First fandom you wrote for?

hp unfortunately 😔

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

hagfic. Through His Stomach. it's not even a question. like. are you joking. it's hagfic. except for when it's Ner Tamid

[slayonehundredninetytwo]

I know it’s only been two days, but I feel like we haven’t spoken in forever! I don’t know why, but whenever I see you respond to one of my messages to you or my request, it makes me so happy. You seem very sweet! I wanted to ask you how you were doing, but never got around to it T_T I hope you’re well! Have you any updates in terms of your own writing ideas that you’re willing to share? ‘Cause I’ll always be willing to hear them :D

Hello! I love talking with you too! tbh i haven’t had much time to work on this do to irl circumstances, but i do have some ideas that i’ve been thinking about for quite sometime. here’s a few in no particular order:

-felix sick from roller coaster

-hyunjin sight of blood sick (this idea came to me because my twin sister has a habit of picking bumps and things on her skin, causing scabs, and we went to dinner for my mom’s birthday and she picked open one of said scabs and used the obvious disgust i had to tease me with it. you know when the blood is all wiped off but it still looks like gooey cause it’s so deep? it was like that. so gross. i was literally getting queasy from it and that’s where the idea spawned. not that anyone asked lmao)

-lee know wakes up to a crying Felix with a horrible stomachache and nausea, but Felix is really anxious about it (i was thinking maybe an appendicitis fic, what do you think?)

-(set in the old dorms) Felix throwing up in the night over the side of bunk bed with Changbin on bottom bunk and Chan also in another bed in the room, shocked (i actually already wrote most of this fic, but im struggling to end it 😭)

-migraine bang chan but with busy schedule pushing through until he physically cannot anymore

-i really want to do one with multiple sickie getting the flu but their bodies handling it differently, one with nausea, one with more sneezy/cough/headache, and one who is emotional from a high fever and faints or something just very exhausted. idk any thoughts?

-Suengmin sick and trying to get privacy to throw up which is misunderstood for “leave me alone i’m mad at you” until a gag or some kind of cue that hey i’m about to puke happens, but when whoever is taking care trys to like rub his back and things they are shrugged off and finally realize that suengmin was very overwhelmed from the fever and throwing up and their presence wasn’t helping (i think i worded this weird, oh well)

I would love to stay and interact more, but in my time zone it’s 2:00 AM and I need to wake up at 8 so i should probably go to sleep.what time zone are you in right now? i might interact for a little longer if you catch me before i fall asleep. But, I wanted to ask you anon (and anyone else who may stumble apon this page) can you share some of your favorite sickfic tropes/dialogues? i love interacting with you but i probably won’t be able to work on the fics for a few days.

🫶

[not-poignant]

how does it feel to be done with (the main) fae tales verse as far, as far as writing goes? is mallory and mount going forward or do you have other plans? :o

It still doesn't really feel real honestly! I don't think it will until like we all get to experience the end of the canon together? Right now I kind of feel like I'm in a holding pattern. :D

I felt sort of sad that it was ending a while back, probably a year ago. And then I felt kind of relieved too, because The Ice Plague has had...a lot of teething issues re: dropping popularity and just general engagement (it's still good! But it's just...it will never be like Game Theory or The Court of Five Thrones, and book 3 will never be like book 2 and that wasn't like book 1).

I've been doing Mallory & Mount worldbuilding but I actually haven't written anything yet and I don't think I will for another couple of months, which doesn't bode well for launching M&M straight after Fae Tales. Because I'll need a buffer of chapters for that story. Realistically speaking I'll probably have to maintain the Patreon with a Gary/Efnisien omegaverse AU, while I write buffer chapters.

Some of the lag is just that the worldbuilding is much more complicated (new days of the week, new names for months, new names for currency, new values of currency, inventing an entirely new language, drawing a world map, etc.), and some if it is that I just actually think I need a break from really intense, complicated writing.

Some of it is also just fear that it will do badly. Logistically in 2022 the Patreon does increasingly worse every single month, and it's been that way for 8 months. By the time Fae Tales is finished, I think I'll be looking at a year of downward trending (after 7 years of only upward trending). It's quite a blow, even though there are understandable economic reasons for it, and it has me questioning if this is even sustainable. It can be hard to...motivate yourself to write or commit yourself to a story that will take 4+ years to write properly, or months of really intensive worldbuilding, when it might be 4 years that are better spent elsewhere, y'know?

Like I think the story and characters are good, but are they good enough? I don't know. I won't know until I write it, and I am not motivated or inspired to write it right now. Though I will say certainly part of that is simply that I am still writing big wordcounts. I wrote 38k last month, most of it on FFS, and I've written 19k this month already, most of it on FFS and Smoke in Autumn. FFS is the most word hungry story I've ever written.

Tbh I had to also take a pretty big hiatus (like a year) between Court of Five Thrones and The Ice Plague, so I'm not entirely surprised this is happening. Some of this is certainly burn out, I may actually need a break from that level of writing (I can write 5 chapters of Falling Falling Stars in the time it takes me to write one chapter of The Ice Plague - and FFS is like...3 times as popular lmao). I really enjoy writing complex narratives, characters, and politics, and original worldbuilding, but it is more effort, and Fae Tales has been going for nearly a decade. Maybe I just need some breathing room before launching straight off with another half decade commitment!! aslkfjsdaka :D I'm sure that's a big part of it.

Incidentally my worldbuilding folder for Mallory & Mount currently looks like this:

As you can see, I have been working on it pretty recently! Though I've taken a little break this month. So even if I take a break from it, I'll probably still be thinking about it and working on it in the background. I am almost certainly going to do early release re: Mallory & Mount - i.e. it goes up first on Patreon, and then it goes up on AO3 2 weeks later.

Whatever the case though, I'll still be writing something! I actually wrote 500 words of the Efnisien/Gary fic last night after busting out 4,600 words on the next FFS chapter sdslkajfsa the writing always continues, even if I don't know exactly what I'm doing with it.

As for the end of the Fae Tales canon, I think early August will be...Feelstown lmao. It's so soon!

[feelbokkie]

I'm literally writing this from a bus (this ride is gonna be 1.5 hours long 😔) and I've been having such a long struggle and realized it's legit only been 2 days since we were having our languages convo. I'm feeling a type of way since the field trip I've been planning for months was only like 60% successful today since the weather was finicky so a third of my students never got to do activities they paid for 🥲

But I saw you posted so much!: a smau, two chapters of Love Risk, and my Changbin angst request 💕 Everything's written so well and it's helping heal me (along with the 5 Star album that I only got to listen to on the bus ride this morning because I was so exhausted last night I fell asleep literally 15 minutes before it released 😭)

I have such hopes for Love Risk Changbin since Y/n is now the one initiating spending time with him, but who knows what'll happen at Hyunjin's birthday party??? My favorite part so far (outside the romancing and drama) though is the running joke of people going over to the other apartment to beat someone up lmao. There's no way that might come back in a more serious way later on... 👀

For my angst request, you hit so close to home and it's so cathartic! Cleaning up after people and making sure they're fed is like second nature to me but it's why I really am so so tired all the time. I'm glad Changbin is trying to fix things and they didn't break up at the end, so hopefully he continues to get himself together because it's not sustainable if things always have to get worse before it gets better.

Anyways, I hope you eventually got to finish listening to the whole album and that you're having a good day and not dying like me 😵 I gotta survive another 3 weeks of school but it'll be the most stressful 3 weeks yet so I might disappear sometimes but just know I'm still reading and enjoying everything you post 😘

-👻✌️

Has it really only been 2 days? Everything is blurring together, lol. I'm sorry that the weather hasn't been good and that not all of your student could enjoy what they wanted to do during their field trip.

I did post all that, and then I also went and reorganized a bit (still have a bunch more to do) so that way my post have more of a uniform look! On top of working on other request. And at least you were rested for the field trip!

Next chapter is going to be Hyun heavy. The way I have it planned, Y/N gets one chapter that's centered with either guy. But there is also time in between time where she hangs out with them. So much has happened in the story and it's been like 3 weeks timeline wise but I might have to fix the timeline a bit after chapter 8 bc I realized I didn't space some stuff out well. But also remember, Hyun and Y/N have know each other since their 1st year of university and have been living together since their 2nd so... 👀 The dancers dorm being violent and going over to the music major's dorm to attack one of them is an accidental bit I didn't realize I wrote in until Chapter 6, lol but it's my favorite part. Poor Innie just wants to live in peace!

It's scary how well I can read people, maybe I'm a witch 🤔🧙🏾‍♀️. I'm glad I was able to give you what you wanted with your request. I literally have been staring at it, and the other request sitting in my asks, trying to figure out how I was going to write it out. And then boom, idk what happened. Maybe a psychic link or something. Also you said that you would leave it up to me for the ending so I went with semi fluff but I kinda like looking at it as an open ending. In my head there is one version of events where Changbin does work to fix it, but then later falls back into old habits and that's it. Another version, Y/N takes the time for herself and gets scared that Changbin might not change and then breaks it off. But I'll leave interpretation up to you!

I've literally listened to nothing by the album since I got home from the store this morning. Even at the store I was listening to it. I'm currently on my 14th run of it 😭 I literally refused to go to bed last night (this morning) until I listened to it once all the way through. But my day has been good. I'm still waiting for my two pre-orders but I went to Target this morning when they opened to go buy the Target versions but when I go there the section was empty 😭. I'm not confrontational and talking to strangers ask for help is my weakness so I was set on going home empty handed but luckily my step dad was there and he asked one of the workers and she went to the back to get me the album. She said that people were lining up for the album so she stashed some, god bless her honestly. So my days been great, I organized my skz collection bc my shelf was looking like a bomb hit it, finished your request, worked on hyung line what are we, moved onto LR bc I hurt my own feelings with what are we, and now I'm taking a small break before I get back to work. And then I'm planning to edit my thesis today and get it ready to be submitted/published.

I hope your day is looking up. And I know three weeks is a long time but I hope they fly by!

[sixstepsaway]

so a little bit ago i had an anon who asked for advice on going back to writing after a long time and responded with a thorough if slightly incoherent reply about how i go about my own writing

but i wanted to offer today that i am trying something new

some of you know i was diagnosed with ADHD back in february. i'm pretty sure that when i was 16-19 my ADHD was presenting as mostly hyperactive rather than inattentive and so i used to write a downright ridiculous amount (i wrote 20,000 words in one night once and I did a 170k nanowrimo month) and, yeah

but now it's gone more inattentive and writing has become, to put it mildly, a struggle

i also struggle with finishing things, which is about as fun as it sounds

i started medication a few weeks ago. i'm being titrated through psych UK and what that means is they started me on 20mg of my meds (elvanse, known as vyvanse in the usa) for 7 days, then it goes up to 30mg for a week and then 40mg for a week and then 50mg for a week until 60mg being the top of the planned titration. the idea is you find the top dose you can have that works for you, and you dont go any higher (apparently a too high dose is the same as nothing at all)

the first week was amazing because i suddenly had energy for the first time in literally my entire life (i am getting 16-18 hour days. i am LIVING the life. before i used to get 4-8 hour days and it was awful) and i was sleeping better and it was just. a miracle.

but it didnt really help me write after that first week or so

last week I was on 50mg and my PMS was awful so i was doing terribly then too

and i was getting upset because i couldnt write still

and then a few days ago it clicked why i couldnt write: i was getting stuck on the points of the fic i was writing

so, i might know that "they have sex" is the goal

but i was getting lost in the middle? because i couldnt properly brain how they got from the point they were at to where i wanted them to be, and my brain goes too fast to write 3k words between those points and not get stuck along the way. MY FINGERS ARE ONLY SO FAST!!! SLOWER THAN MY BRAIN!!

so. i'm now doing it like this:

i can include bits of dialogue i want to work in, i can write out the steps they need to take to get where they're going, and then i can follow that to its conclusion by writing those points into proper prose

anyway i hope this helps someone somehow, i've written 1k of bullets so far today lmao okay good day

[happinessisathree-letterword]

a birthday post for a ghost, and taking a chance at lotteries

(4/365)

San Miguel Pale Pilsen is a pale, golden lager with a rich, full-bodied flavor. Its smooth, full-flavored taste complements its pleasant aroma, making it a perfectly balanced beer. It has a unique heritage of bringing people together, nourishing true friendships for over a hundred years. Alcohol Content: 5%  ABV

-

You can read the word "Miguel" on a San Miguel Pale Pilsen bottle eight times. My personal record for drinking this beer in particular is eight bottles. (9 bottles for Red Horse, but that's another story).

I've known him for six years but I never really knew him. I've known him for six years. I have two more years to forget. I'm not drunk.

I wrote about him a lot.

In 2017, in a dingy room in Cagayan de Oro, amid a three-day theatre coverage we stayed up until 4 AM getting to know each other and in that night I felt like I'd known him for years. I was quick to note his squeaky mousy voice. He speaks the Ilocano of the northeast. I was in Cagayan de Oro, and he was in Cagayan. Funny how distance had always been a theme of the important relationships in my life.

Today is his birthday. Or is it? I might never know but his name will forever be engraved in those wretched bottles. I might never know how his lips would taste. I'd rather kiss an SMB Pale's lips anyway. It would probably taste sweeter, a little less bitter. Cheers to the ghost of us.

-

Today was a day full of meetings. Over lunch, we decided to walk around to get cash from the ATM and look for foodstuff. On our way back, we passed a lotto outlet and decided to bet. The documentation was provided on IG. LMAO.

20 pesos. Six numbers. 8 million in prize.

8-9-18-24-29-30

January 4 might not be a lucky day. I only got one number. 24. The number of hours in a day. Enzo's birthdate. Kobe's jersey number. Sometimes that's all you have. A set of numbers, a few coins, and the courage to lose, or the courage to win, or just the courage to take a chance.

[stayathomesurveys]

113.

Do you remember much from high school? Yeah, I guess so. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? I’m not sure! Probably a nice beach resort in a foreign country, but I would also like to do a lot of exploring and not just relaxing lol. Can you access the roof of the building you live in? Nope. Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? No. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? I’m not sure.

What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? I don’t really listen to podcasts. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is? Pessimist. When was the last time you moved house? December 2020.

Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? yes & yes. Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think? Depends on my mood. How long have you been using Bzoink? I’ve used Bzoink since the early 2000s or so - MySpace lol. When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick? Yesterday I threw up from coughing hard. I’m not sick but I never got over my cough from when I had Covid in July.  Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I’ve never not been on a first-name basis with a boss... what else would you call them? I can think of very few careers where you would most likely not call your boss by their first name, such as military careers. But for regular joe jobs... I don’t know what else you’d call them lmao. What brand is your laptop or computer? Microsoft. Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt? Yeah, sure. What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? Not sure. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? Relatives. What were the best and worst costumes you’ve ever worn? Not sure. Do you know anybody who is gay and married? No. What did you last take painkillers for? Headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Yes. Have you ever shared a home with a friend? No. What’s the craziest or weirdest place you’ve ever slept? I’ve slept in some weird places, I guess. Not sure which is the weirdest. On top of a dresser? In my closet? What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I ate chips and dip around 4 pm and that was all I had lmao.  Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls? Yeah. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I didn’t go to sleep until around 8 am this morning. Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Yeah, certain medications. I found out by taking them and then having an allergic reaction, lol. What’s your favourite Thai dish? Pad see ew w/ chicken :) Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? No. What are you going to do when this survey is over? Another survey, maybe. Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yup. They were ok? What colour is the rug in your living area? No rug. Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely? It depends on what it is - they’re different, lol. I call what we have in my apartment a couch. Who is your favourite character on Friends? Rachel. When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for? The other day at the gym. Describe the temperature of the area you’re in right now. 75 degrees. Have you ever had teppanyaki? Yes. How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere? Depends. At least an hour but I would prefer longer. Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? Yes. What was the last candy you ate? Milky Way. Have you ever been hit in the face? What’s the story? Yeah. Do you know anyone who is deaf? No. Name one thing on your bucket list. Travel the world.

[notasiren21]

#40 from the prompt list please and thank you!!!

I’m so sorry this took so long!!!

Someone You Loved

Rating: Mature for some themes

Pairing: fuckin’ Lukanette boi

Word count: 4,665

Prompt: (40) “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

Description:

Well, Luka sings a song and I pissed @macaknight off with this when I asked her to beta read the start of it. It helps if you listen to the song in the story, Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. Enjoy lmao

She was around by his side long enough to engrave the little things into his mind.

He knew how it felt to have the soft strands of midnight blues through his fingers as he tangled them in her hair. To have her legs settle on either side of his as he trailed his hand up her small back and waist under her soft cotton shirts. The cheeky grin he grew to love baring up at him when his arms bracketed with her in between he picked her up at home.

How he didn't care for sweets but loved the way blueberry muffins tasted on her tongue and the taste of her mixed with raspberry jelly when it leaked from the corner of her pouty lips.

How the Liberty swayed under his feet against the small currents the wind brought on as they danced in the rain. The feel of his converse bracing both their weights as her drenched skirt blew in harsh waves between them. The first lightning strike reflecting off an anchor necklace he gave her on their first date.

When she kissed his cheek when he started humming absently with frustration as he tried to figure out the melody he wrote. Her small fingers pulling the pencil out of his death grip as she lent her forehead against his to calm him and decipher the jumbled notes he had in his head.

The way her face lit up when he played it back to her.

The way her face fell when she told him she loved him but they couldn't be together.

How her arms stiffly pulled away from his hug and the red of her eyes she showed up with.

How the airy taste of salt from the water didn't compare to the salt of his tears that trailed to his lips as he grounded the palm of his hands to his eyes roughy as sobs racked through his body when he collapsed to the wood of the ship.

The way it left him numb with hurt and he became too compliant with his happenings, too accepting.

Defeated.

Music was harder to hear and enjoy, he couldn't compose anything more than a haunting melody that brought any stranger to tears.

He wasn't sure he even felt the burn to his tongue when he drank his hot coffee as soon as it was handed to him. Or the rough jerk of his shoulder to turn him around as his guitar bounced off his back.

"Hey man, you look worse for wear." Théo, a former classmate of his that now ran the coffee shop, spoke as he eyed him critically. Luka shifted his thick blacks squared rimmed sunglasses up higher to cover his dark circles better. "I'd say it's great to see you, but..."

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” He offered the excuse at the ready, hating how well lying came with sadness.

“Ah, life of a famous rockstar.” Théo teased with a smirk. “No wondering you’re wearing a hat like that backwards to cover your hair and shades for those ‘oh so sexy’ blue eyes of yours.”

“Not famous,” Luka cringed at Théo’s words. “Just well known on the internet I guess.”

“Sorry for overplaying your popular cover videos man.” His old school mate laughed.

"It's fine. What's up?" He forced a smile that came across as genuine despite what he felt.

Théo crossed his arms and made a jerk with his head in the direction of the shop across the street, "New place has been stealing some of our loyal customers." Luka scratched under the brim of his black baseball cap he had on backwards as he followed the movement. "Lunch hour is about to hit and you know much we moved to stop by this part of town for break."

"Yeah, your aunt made good scones." He supplied.

He grunted in response, "Yeah. Well, girls frequent here more from school, and they keep going there," he roughly jerked his chin to the place again, "Just because there's an older guy who takes their order who is attractive, I guess. Or so I'm told."

Luka blinked at the shop before turning to his old friend, "What do you need from me then?"

"Observant as always, Couffaine." He snorted with a shake of his head. "I wanted to see if you -an attractive older guy- would give a small performance just as the girls come."

"What? Why?"

"Are you dense? With your face and body, and that 'sinful voice' of yours the girls cooed about back then and from your YouTube covers, I'm guaranteed to bring in more customers for today."

Luka tossed his half full coffee cup to the trash next to him. His own arms crossing as he wished he was in his cabin instead, laying on his bed while he stared up at the ceiling and trying to not feel the clench of his arm when he smelled Marinette's hibiscus shampoo and berry scented perfume on his pillows.

"I don't know."

His friend clasped onto his shoulder again, "Please man, you can keep 40% of the money you help bring in, I don't care. That shop is a dick and acting like we're not its competition."

“Man, you really don’t have to, I’ll just take a free coffee if you really need this.” Anything seemed better than just wallowing at home at this point, despite the incredible want to do so that swelled within him as he stood on the block he and Ladybug often frequented to patrol. “I mean it.”

Théo smiled, guiding him to a spot that he started clearing out near the cafe’s short fence that caged the outdoor tables and chairs.

“That’s okay, I feel bad to make you work without pay.” He straightened his back that had been bent forwards as he pushed tables, “Consider it repayment for that time you paid for my lunch.”

Luka stopped, “Lunch? When did I-,” he grunted. “Théo, that was four years ago.”

“Well, last Saturday had me thinking about all my debts and regrets when I thought I was gonna die. You came up.”

He flinched at mention of Saturday.

Saturday, the final fight against Hawkmoth who showed up in person with a struggling Mayura and an akumatized sentimonster of Lila. The combination of their powers as well as the wickedness that resided in the girl proving to be a difficult fight for them all when Ladybug and Chat pulled the entire team in.

Including a Chloé Bourgeois who was more than ready to help.

He could’ve sworn he heard Marinette screaming his name in worry when Hawkmoth closed in on him and hit into his side with his cane full force. But that was ridiculous. Because Marinette was Ladybug and Ladybug was Marinette. And Marinette wanted nothing to do with Luka since they had broken up without reason beyond her excuse of not being able to be with him.

He was a bit bitter about the whole ordeal.

Okay, he was more so lovesick and depressed, but his negative energy still stood.

“Yeah,” he flinched again when he heard his voice crack and he thumbed his bracelet -once silver, now a metallic black to hide better, “At least they finally caught Hawkmoth for good.”

“No kidding, now we can just focus on the heroes and the gossip your little girlfriend’s bestie posts.”

A knife. Through his heart. Twisting and gutting.

“Gossip?” He chose the safer option of the sentence, ignoring the onslaught of pitying questions and half-assed supportive promises that correcting Théo would bring.

“Yeah, like how that Ryuuko dragon girl and Chat are definitely dating and that Viperion and Ladybug totally have the hots for one another and the soft looks they give during patrols.”

A chainsaw. Just shredding his heart to pieces.

Luka Couffaine once thought he was a smart kid who made the right decisions.

How wrong he had been.

“Right.” He bit out, gripping the strap of his guitar case and scratching his baseball cap.

Théo shot up and loudly clapped with a whoop, “There we go! Now, I should grab the mic stand from open mic nights and just plug that in and some speakers, then we’ll be good to go.” Maybe Luka should’ve just left. “I’ll get ‘er done in five minutes, tops.”

Luka only nodded, watching as he ran around and set things up, then proudly presented Luka with the lone table he left set up to sit on.

He eyed his skeptically behind his sunglasses before hopping up, testing his weight on the surface before he crossed one ankle across his thigh and took his guitar from Théo who unzipped it for him. Théo pushed the mic stand closer to Luka and adjusted when he peered up at him.

“What do you want me to sing?”

His old friend shrugged with an easy smile, “Anything that comes to mind and draws that big crowd of hungry girls over.” Luka bobbed his head in response and tuned his acoustic guitar as Théo began backing up to inside the store and cheered, “Show off that sinful voice of yours, man! Woo!”

He let out a short chuckle and emptied his mind completely as he shut down, letting his fingers strum a few notes to a song that he began to resonate deeply with.

“I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me,” he closed his eyes and mentally chastised himself for being so open with his feelings as they poured out of him through a popular song. “This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.”

He could see Théo looking at him carefully when he opened before squeezing his eyes shut in pain. He hated that look of pity, but he already started singing this song and he knew he would have to see it through given that the customers at the shop had already turned their attention to him.

“I need somebody to heal

Somebody to know

Somebody to have

Somebody to hold,”

Did he growl at the end of that last line? He wasn’t sure but the audience seemed moved by it and how he didn’t go weak on the verbs. Maybe he could please someone for once by just following with what worked for him.

“It's easy to say

But it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain.”

He thought he saw the familiar flash of black with red accents that everyone knew as Ladybug’s new suit for a second up on the rooftops. The rooftops that she danced with Viperion on and let her laugh rang over the quiet town under the stars. He wasn’t sure if he was just hopelessly imagining her or if she was there, but he felt the pain bite all at once and his voice became wobbly in a way that the crowd seemed touched by. You’re kidding me.

“Now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”

Weak. He felt weak and it wasn’t the kind where he felt weak at the knees like when Marinette smiled up at him or her nose scrunched in thought.

He always thought he could be emotionally strong to handle whatever came his way. He was so sure of it.

“I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to,” Guess he was weak for Marinette in every way possible after all, “This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you.

“Now, I need somebody to know

Somebody to heal

Somebody to have

Just to know how it feels

It's easy to say but it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape.”

There was no blame to place, he knew that. It didn’t make it better or let him throw his anger at her to get it out, but he couldn’t keep punishing himself either.

He felt his eyes sting, shutting them as one tear slipped through and feeling grateful for both his dark shades and the sun beating down on his face past the patio table umbrella, hiding the evidence of his heartbreak.

“Now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down,”

Who was he kidding? The heartbreak was the clearest part about him as he let the rough notes chip away at his throat and the growls making his voice artistically raw that he would have to worry about later.

His heart stopped painfully when he remembered the way Marinette’s face flushed all smitten like with a wondering look when Luka growled while singing and shot her winks, knowing how flustered it made her to see her calm and collective boyfriend with a soft and careful voice sounding so tortured for certain songs.

“And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.

How that came back to bite him in the ass.

He glanced up to blink away the tears and avoid the view of the large growing audience he couldn’t see from the sun.

He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of black and flecks of red again.

Fingers strummed harder and with more purpose and he let his soft voice fall back as the pain ripped through him and out in his voice.

“And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes

I fall into your arms

I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around.”

Fuck. He missed her. He missed her a fuck ton and wanted to hold her again and hear her whisper his nicknames of “Love”, “baby”, “handsome”, “Vipey”, whatever the hell she wanted to call him.

Even his damn name would be enough to sedate him for a year.

“For now the day bleeds

Into nightfall”

Dancing with her into the beginnings of a bad storm on the deck of the Liberty as they belted Cheap Thrills amist her giggles and his laughs he choked down to keep her beautiful voice going with his.

“And you're not here

To get me through it all”

Being curled up on her living room couch the next day with her cuddled into his side. Both sick with the cold, but unable to wipe the weak grins from their faces as Sabine amusingly disapproved of their actions the night before.

“I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug”

Their first kiss when she got flustered at their first date and told him she wouldn’t read too much into it despite wanting to, and him effectively shutting her up for the first time ever with the crash of his lips to hers and hands tilting her head up to meet him in reassurance.

“I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”

The first time she called him her boyfriend and the pleased giggle she let out when he gave a startled and flustered noise, his snack flying out of the package he ripped open before he blinked and asked her to repeat what she said as a toothy grin broke his shocked face.

“But now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all”

Did a camera just flash at him? Hard to tell with the sun in his eyes and the dark lenses of his shades. He couldn’t find himself to care either.

“I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”

He tried not to think about the fact that he forced himself to change his phone backgrounds to black, tried not to think if she deleted her phone screens of them napping together or the wallpaper of them dancing in the rain Juleka got of them as Luka dipped her over the edge of the stage they always practiced on.

The complete trust in her eyes and smile always made him melt in that picture. Her hands loosely holding her arms as her head titled back in a deep bellied laugh while he held onto her waist tightly with one arm and had the other behind him, the biggest smile that was only found on his face when Marinette was around.

“I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”

Luka still fucking loved her more than anything.

His drive, his inspiration, his happiness and safe space. His melody that always rang loudly in his ears.

Now it sounded just as it did when they were younger.

The numbness took over as he looked up, face contorted into a forced happy expression as he dipped his head in gratitude to see the very big crowd that gathered and was clapping with tears in their eyes. He excused himself to find Théo who ignored how exposed the song made his old friend, conversing with him briefly as he counted the amount of customers before Luka left and promised to give him the 40% the next visit he came and a free coffee.

He put up his guitar, tugging the case back over his shoulder as he headed back to the Liberty and tossed the faux leather casing to the bed, tossing his sunglasses to the the bed as well before heading to the deck and off to take a lap to clear his break up riddled mind.

The third block was a close achievement, before he felt the petite body rush into him and the all too familiar wrap of small and strong legs wrap about his waist with a black latex suit arm winding around his neck. He subconsciously fell back into habit as one of his own dropped to hold under her thighs and one around her own waist as black fielded his vision.

He barely got a curse out before the all too telling sound of a spiritually powered string to the famous yo-yo pinned against restraint and shot them upwards, his unmasked face burying itself in the crook of her neck from the force rush of air to his eyes.

His chest tightened to the smell of hibiscus flowers and berries, clutching her tighter for the first time in a long while. Half aware he shifted her higher against him to have her bring them closer.

Well fuck if he wasn’t the most touch starved and needy ex ever.

The familiar sound of a specific metal railing being bounded by the yo-yo was the only warning he got before the touched surface with his feet and she loosened her grip.

He barely heard the words of her detransformation before he could see the flash of pink through black and pulled back from her neck.

Terror shook through him, and his hands and body trembled against her as he couldn’t force himself to look up. Staring intently at the silver anchor necklace he gave her, bounded in a rope of small teal jewels.

Luka couldn’t look at her face, couldn’t look away from the necklace she still wore. He couldn’t let her go or put her down either.

“Breathe love,” her quiet voice spoke, soft and hesitant, breaking Luka as he dropped them to his knees and brought her closer than before.

An audible sob he hadn’t heard since she walked away from him escaped his lips and heaved for air as his chin rested over her head and he looked frantically in front of him. At her balcony, the plants that littered the space and the wood paneling they rested on, the little ladybug statue he bought her as a cute joke.

Seeing none of it through blurry eyes, forcing himself to drop his head to her shoulder as she quaked with tears and ran a soothing hand through his hair.

“I’m so sorry, love.” He couldn’t get words out as he just grounded his face into her. “I thought I was protecting you, I didn’t realize how wrong I was.”

She pulled his face up, ceruleans magnified as his pupils dilated to the sight of her in front of him once again and the tips of his ears flaring just by her touch for the first time in forever. She caught a steam of tears with her thumb, giving him a tight smile.

“My miraculous gave me the intuition that Hawkmoth would make his final move.” She paused for a second, closing her eyes and she breathed deeply. “I thought for sure I would die when he did. Either by his winning, or ours but I would end up a casualty or sacrifice. You guys weren’t even supposed to be there, but Adrien insisted for backup and I just...”

“You left me because you thought you were going to be killed?” Voice gravelly and sore from the coffee shop, he pressed on, fingers twitching at her back. “Why didn’t you tell me? Even if you had to strap me down just to bench me from the fight, you should’ve told me.”

“You’re right,” she rushed. “Absolutely right, and it was pure hell to leave to that day or say what I did. I’ve never been more miserable with my life than I’ve been since we’ve broke up. I hate it, I hate being away from you so much, Luka.”

“Be mine again.”

“What?” She blinked, choking on air.

He squeezed his eyes shut, leaning into her touch when she held his face. “I don’t, I don’t fucking care if I’m being selfish anymore. It’s so hard not to be when it comes to you, Marinette. All these small details engraved to my mind, committed to memory and nothing to do with it.

“I keep leaving hoodies I casually wear on my amp for you to take, I keep putting that soft blanket you’re obsessed with folded on the edge of my bed for you to yank off and curl into as soon as you step into my room.” He forced his eyes not to open as he kept going, following the rhythm she provided and he struggled to find words for. “The minute I wake up, before I even open my eyes to see for the first time of the day, my phone is already in my hand with your contact open and a good morning text at the ready for you. Even good night texts when I reset my alarms. I keep leaving your spot open on my bed in case you visit while I’m asleep. Your favorite part on the couch for you. The last cherry popsicle of the package, and the cookie dough ice cream I bought out of habit are still in the freezer waiting for you to find them.

“I’m fucking broken without you.” He rasped, ceruleans meeting baby blues, “I’m missing you emotionally, figuratively, mentally, physically. How the hell am I supposed to be okay when you’ve become such a big part of me? When you’re my literal other half?”

She nudged his button nose with her small one, “I,” she gave a dark laugh that he felt in his core. “I keep airing out my room whenever my sewing machine leaves behind that electrical smell your nose scrunches at so much.” She giggled when she felt him do it at the mention of the scent. “I let the popcorn cook for half a minute longer to get it a little burnt like how you like. I sleep in your hoodies to leave behind the smell of my perfume and shampoo the way you said you like your hoodies to smell when I give them back. I play with my necklace when I grow nervous and can’t talk to you. I can’t go more than five hours without hovering over your contact name or looking at our pictures.”

He sat back on his knees, letting her adjust herself out of habit and moving her hair away from her face. The smile he gave was tight but reassuring.

“I missed you, doll.”

“I missed you too, Luka.” She paused for a second, “Hey,” she started cautiously.

“Hm,”

“Luka, you know I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you, right?”

The glint that quickly came to his eyes didn’t waver like his abused voice did, “I kinda figured from all the times you’ve blushed and stuttered. The times you tripped when I caught you off guard with a flirtatious comment or wink. And the times you kissed me like it was the end of the world.”

He looked up to see her set a false murderous glare above him as he ran his thumb over the teal gems in the rope around the anchor of her necklace, a smirk he hadn’t felt making way to his face as one of his naturally slightly pointer canines became visible to express his pure happiness.

“I forgot how much of a jerk you could be,” she huffed, looking away and sniffing.

“I’m sorry, doll.” He made her look at him, eyes still shining with unshed tears as the stared into hers. His grin was pure radiance, “I love you.”

She let him pull her down to a kiss, feeling those soft pouty lips he loved so much back on his again. “I know,” she replied between kisses, causing him to huff and pull away with his own pout. She held alone his jawline, “I’m kidding, kinda. But, I love you too.”

Her giggle when he let out a happy and short hum was pure music to his ears as her melody finally fell back into the correct time signature and key. Even as he parted with a pant and hugged her close, stroking her hair.

“Just, don’t leave me in the dark again.” He started, seeing her phone that fell out of her back pocket light up with a text from Alya.

Alya: So did you kiss and makeup, or not? I have Nino on the edge of his seat.

Alya: no really, he keeps asking and refuses to do ANYTHING until he finds out.

Alya: for fuck’s sake, answer and let me get laid

He hid his smile in her shoulder from the texts and the fact that she never changed her screens from them. Letting him see her cheek smushed up against his chest and her arm lazily thrown around his waist while his held her close.

“Never, not again. I’m not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice like I once was.” He snorted at the reference to her old crush on Adrien years ago. “But we do have something to talk about.”

He pulled back, eyeing her cautiously. “Did I do something?”

“Yes,” his heart fell and he was ready to beg for her forgiveness. “You know how many girls have your picture now? Videos of you singing a song in such a beautifully tortured way with those growls, and the rough notes and the, stop laughing Couffaine!”

“I’m sorry,” he muffled his laughs behind his hand. “I forgot how much fun I had just by talking with you and your small bouts of jealousy.”

“Oh, I’m bad? Says the boy who sang a song that people keep covering for heartbreak.”

“I’m getting paid for doing it.”

“How much?”

“40% of the customers I brought in by drawing a crowd and a coffee on the house,” he let a smile spread across his face. “You know, I might be able to change it. Can I treat you to a free mint hot chocolate, a date as well maybe?”

She considered him for a second.

“With whipped cream,” he added for extra measure to his small sweet’s addict. He dimpled up at her with a scrunch when she kissed his button nose.

“God, I love you, Luka.”

“I love you too,” he kissed her slowly, “Mari, just don’t let me sing like that again, my voice is killing me.”

“Got it, never leave you again.”

“Pretty much.”

“Hey, you look cute with your baseball cap backwards like this.” She winked, pulling his black hat from the balcony floor where it fell off and back on his head.

“I’d respond with a witty comment, but it hurts to talk now.”

She grinned, “Hm, I love you.”

Luka still smiled despite flinching from the rawness of his throat, “I love you.”

[deadendtracks]

i finally finished the show last night and i feel like i have more questions than ever, but chief among them is - so why was tommy having seizures then?! did you glean the answer to this? lmao dude i feel like they initially wrote a season that was much longer but then realized they had to edit out like 40% of it for time and cut out almost all the wrong parts. it’s wild.

I don't know how closely you've followed what's happened with the series, but in case you don't know anything, the circumstances changed a lot after the end of s5. They were about to start filming s6 with an expected s7 when COVID shut everything down in 2020. During shutdown Helen McCrory became too ill to work, so they had cut down plans for Aunt Polly's role in the new season. Eventually it was clear she was not going to be able to be in the season at all and was dying, so that was another adjustment. She ended up passing away while they were filming s6. At some point before filming began in 2021 it was announced that there would no longer be a s7, and s6 would be the last season with a film to follow. I don't think we've heard why that happened. So! That sense you have that the story didn't quite fit into s6 has a context, in that it definitely wasn't originally intended to end with s6.

After watching the season I am under the impression that the main plot was not significantly altered after all of this, just adjusted both for Aunt Polly's death and to attempt to tie it up a bit at the end. This is pure speculation of course, but I can definitely see how storylines were meant to continue into a s7 and I can even see where the original s6 may have ended, probably on a cliffhanger. I agree with you that a lot seemed to have been cut for time. Idk if I'd agree it was the wrong parts, but I'd have to hear more about what you think! I dearly wish the BBC had given them more than 6 episodes. I think both s5 and s6 would have benefitted from being 8 episode seasons.

As for the seizures, my guess is that they are meant to be psychogenic nonepileptic seizures. [I was going to link you to something here but tumblr's link function does not seem to be working for me at the moment! but google is always there lol]. I had suspected this was what was going on before the reveal of the 'tuberculoma' because I've read about the phenomenon in WW1 vets with shellshock, and the seizures on the show always seemed triggered by stress and accompanied by flashbacks to the war/hallucinations.

Other theories I've seen include that the doctor had been giving him some kind of medication that caused these, but I think the previous theory is more likely because of the context. In s5 they weren't shy about showing him taking laudanum fairly often but didn't show him taking any tablets in the first part of s6, and the fact that the way he spoke of the tablets he was taking to Lizzie seemed to indicate they hadn't been prescribed until after that tuberculoma diagnosis. Even so it is definitely a possibility. Given Tommy discovered the tumor was faked right at the end of the season, we weren't given an answer.