kanekiyouloser

[lenn-ey]

crossfaded on apple slices and peanut butter

[cerealmonster15]

ummm goober time sketchy doodle time w/heartslabyul.......... adeuce + lil babby crushies...

i think adeuce would enter that "no homo but tbh a lil homo" era of bestieship and be in mega denial before they realize their own feelings

also not necessarily ship exactly, but like i could see adeuce havin lil tiny crushes on treycay when they first enter the school fjdkshg like caters vibe matches ace + trey is that responsible upperclassman lookin after the freshies and i think juice would admire him [he admires like most of the older students tho it's soooo cute]

and then same reasoning for deuce w/riddle... riddle being sweet to deuce w/ his math struggles in deuces dorm story my beloved... + ace has that one thing he says about riddle in his ghost bride event card story where he was like "yeah he looked so cool bursting into the room i wanna work hard and be cool like him" and tbh sounded like a boycrush in denial.

[vinetae]

As If It's His Last - PJM

"Mmmm, you're such a sensitive baby, aren't you?"

Genre: FWB, F2L, Smut, mutual pinning?

Summary: it had been a simple agreement. You felt bad at how many times Jimin had a hectic schedule. And while you couldn't do anything about that, you could offer some services out of pity for the boy..

Warnings: shower sex, vaginal fingering, Dom!Jimin, bratty sub!Reader, shower games, cunillingus, spanking? Jimin's such a tease lol, unprotected sex (don't do this), best friend banter while fucking (and damn, do we love that), cursing, foul language.

Word Count: 4K

A/n: just some drabbles I forgot to post like a year ago. 💀🙏😭 This was heavily inspired by my simp ass and the vlive where jimin wished someone would wash him LMFAO.

Edit: welcome back, you horny bitches. I've updated this to conclude their FULL SMUT. So, happy early birthday 💀😭

_______

"I'll do it" you comment, as he sits up to counter your straight face. His eyebrows lift, a shocked expression plastered his features.

"You what?" He asks, not truly comprehending what his friend had just agreed to.

"I'll wash you if you want."

He laughs out loud at the seemingly meaningless joke. His chest rises in sharp points, as his joking reaction makes your face remain unchanged. He'd been complaining for around an hour, seeing how long he could go without a shower after coming back from a hard session's practice. He'd always procrastinate washing himself, but never excused his hygiene.

Ironically, he was possibly the most clean person you've ever known. He always loved dousing himself in expensive perfumes, a 10-step skincare, and brushing his teeth for not 3 but FOUR minutes, twice a day. If you hadn't known better, you might've mistook him for a germaphobe. Once you had seen his apartment for the first time, you'd quickly realized your accusations were limited to what everyone say everyday.

"Are you for real?" He questions, not believing that his friend of only a few months would help him with something so intimate that ESPECIALLY only couples would do.

However, you were just a good friend.

You slide the cover of your book down your thighs, sighing at his thick head.

"Seriously Jimin? You just spent almost an hour debating whether showering in the morning or afternoon is healthier. You KNOW you only did that so you could excuse your laziness." His eyes widen at your words, but he doesn't deny it.

"But... Are you sure? I mean we've only known each other for a few months And-" you stand, glancing at his slouched figure.

"It's an offer, not a request. You want help, and I like helping people. Plus, it'll give me practice for when I volunteer at the senior citizen home." You tease flashing him a cheeky grin, as he stands, yelling to protest.

"Hey! Don't call me old!" You laugh at his cute pout. He watches as the sway of your hips lure him to the frame that connect the hallway to bathroom. He can feel the dryness of his throat out run the natural portion. Your upper body turns to graze his eyes, a tiny, sultry grin tugs your cornered lip.

"Coming?"

..

His eyes trail on the curves of your frame as you remove rhe excess pieces that had hidden your goddess-like figure so well. His tongue sticks out to wet the pad of his lips, making the plump set glisten. His gesture doesn't go unnoticed for you as well. You bat the thick of your eyelashes, while slowly removing the last article of clothing, sending him a greasy smirk.

"Yah, this ain't a free strip club." You point to the shower, watching the gears in his head finally turning to your command. This time, it's your turn to oogle at his built figure. The sweat glistens off his proportioned figure, sliding down the muscles of his arms. The veins in his hands track all the way to his protruding Adam's apple, watching it Bob up and down once before he removes another piece of his clothing.

Soon, he's left in nothing bit tight clad briefs, the Chanel red and white stripped label hugs his lower waist oh so perfectly. His lips tug into a smirk nothing how you'd been caught on his waist for one second too long. He curves his thumb to tug the elastic of his briefs down, giving you a teasing peak of his prominent v-line. He watches your cheek indent quickly, knowing that you'd bitten the inside harshly.

You shake your head to rid yourself of the impure images that had Corrupted your mind for a few moments. You meet his gaze, before motioning to the shower. He chuckles, noticing the tint of your ears matching hues with your cheeks. He stalks your figure, closing the small space that had separated the two of you, and sane from insanity.

"Aren't you going to get wet too?" His thumb comes to lift the point of your chin, narrowed eyes dark chocolate and fiery, baring down into your doe-like irises. His fingers come to toy with the elastic of your bra, before releasing it as it snaps against your skin. You flinch at the sudden act, the lump in your throat doesn't seem to faulted in rendering you speechless. His breath rolls past the shell of your ear, brushing the side of your cheek smoothly.

"No? Because.."

His steps corner you into the steamy shower until you're pressed up against the tiled wall. His eyes peer into yours, hands come up to already palm the rounds of your breasts pulling the thin fabric down to toy with the erect buds.

"I think you already are."

You'd gone into this situation with tact and though-filled head. Now, your girly brain had been boiling on the stove labeled horny, with your pussy as the chef, and Jimin being the heat.

Weird analogy I know, but still.

It's true.

The inside of his palm comes up to trace along the heated outline of your figure. His smirk beaming wider than a turn an eighteen-wheeler has to make.

"So quiet now, huh?" Your brain had almost been fried by his lingering touches, when a sense of well.. sensibility washes over you. Suddenly, you had regained your voice.

"You keep this up and you'll be stuck with blue balls AND a lonely wash up." Your tone seeps into his brain, pushing past all of the aroused and biological thoughts that had clouded his mind. He pouts, but backs away, giving you space as you repremand his ass.

Once his lecture was over, you watched as he lowered himself into the tub's heated waters, watching as his face immidiently forms new expressions. Most had remained relaxed, but one still stood out to you.

The steam had now risen to damp the ends of his hair, making the baby strands cling to his forehead. His newly dyed locks had blocked a portion of his view. You smile, bringing your hand up to brush the straggles out of his way. Much like how a mother's caring touch would be. He sighs, unconsiously leaning into your touch. You'd pulled your hand a few centimeters away right before his selfish, naughty hands had brought them right back down, pressing your palms against his reddened cheek.

"Just... stay like this, please?" He whines softly, not wanting to release from the comforting touch of your hands. You sigh, shifting on the tub's edge before finding an okay position. His eyes lull closed, peaking open once a while to make sure that you hadn't left him.

Your chin rests on tub's edge, watching how his facial features sink more into a relaxed transe. Finally, he felt at peace.

Except the hardening of his cock under the soapy waters.

He groans, trying to push those thoughts away, know that you hadn't been in that kind of mood right now.

You had usually flirted back and countered his sweet-comments and teases, a grin of your own painting your expressions while you two laughed, ending the silly encounter each time. Your laugh lines had been his serotonin. He'd never openly admit this.. of course.

But those sweet-nothings were for a different time, told to him by his stirring cock. Thankfully, the lavander and vanilla bath bomb you'd decided to throw in last minute had dissloved into a perfect shield for his dick.

Though the wet patches along your skin had done the opposite.

He peaks his eyes open, watching as the water shines an almost like glitter effect on the surface of your skin. With each splotch of water had been followed by clear definitions of it's gleams.

Yep... there goes his thoughts again.

"Y/n.." He gently calls out, seeing if you'd react with the same tone as earlier. He looks to see that your face had softened, showing him a more caring side than before. Usually, you had been this strong, confident and stubborn woman he'd grown to love. But how the way your rosy cheeks matched his set from the steamy waters had painted a different picture for him.

It also didn't help that you were in the most basic, but sexiest pair of underwear and bra he'd ever seen.

Sure, he's seen the lace, the frills, satin, silks and more.

Maybe it's his crazy, sex-driven mind..

But you looked like the most beautiful thing in the world.

Hell, this feeling wasn't even that sexual.

It had always been with him.

Since the day you two had meet in that cafe.

His voice calls out again, watching as your nose scrunches from the louder volume, but yet still having that gentle and warming tone he'd always carry.

You hum in response, not really minding what he was going to go on about. Sure you cared but..

This water had also felt too good to pass up.

So you opted for dragging your finger tips across it's fluctuate surface, watching as your minimal movements had trailed behind light ripples in their place. Your digits dip down ever so often, relaxing at the bath water's warm embrace.

This time, you hear your name for the third time.

You sigh, glancing to pull your eyes from the peaceful streams, to his boyish look.

Except...

He hadn't looked boyish at all.

The prominent lines of his muscle protruded far more than you could've ever imagned. His upper porportion had broad shoulders, defined and calculated features that would make any female instantly swoon.

"How are you going to wash me if I'm in here, and you're out there." His chin comes to rest on the tub's edge in front of you, mimicking your position with a smile painting his features.

You sigh, trying to hide the obvious smile that had accidentally slipped from your control.

"Fine," You fake a groan, acting as if your mother asking you to take out the trash. You see his lips pucker to a cute, puppy-like pout.

"You offered, you know.." You nod, removing your last pieces of clothing before stepping into the water's steamy embrace. The tub hadn't been that large, so you had to really squeeze to fit the both of you. Somehow, he manage to scoot closer, a gleam so warm and inviting lays beneath his cold, matured exterior.

He rests of the point of his chin on the round of his knees, pulling them closer to his chest, as you had done the same. That earns you a laugh from his side.

"Two bros, chilling in a bath tub two feet apart cause they're not gay." You laugh at the stupid reference, hitting his shoulder lightly. "You're ridiculous."

As your smiles recceed, something had taken their place. Even though both sets of tucked legs had been the barrier between the two of you, it didn't stop the lack of space slowly disappearing at the held gaze you both had in your eyes.

Your lips barely just centimeters away, as his hand comes up to cup the round of your cheek, his voice lowering to a permissive octave.

"You know, that trend of Tik Tok has been going around lately." You chuckle at his random response.

"Which one? There are about a gazillion.."

he leans in closer, brushing the pads of his lips against yours, giving you just a slight taste of what he's offering.

"The one where you kiss your best friend."

You lightly scoff at his comment.

He can't be serious.

.. Can he?

One more lessened inch was all it took for his lips to capture yours. The kiss had been gentle and kind at first, until something primal and needy had taken the reigns. His breath became heavy, the sounds he started to let slip had been doing a number on your sensability.

Just before anything gets too heavy, he quickly pulls away, leaving a trail of saliva bridging between his and your lips.

"I- want to make sure that you're okay.." You're quick to nod, trying to rekindle the fire he had you desiring so, but he takes control once more.

"I need verbal confirmation, Y/n. I don't want to make it feel like I'm forcing you or anythi-" He's cut off by the pressure of your lips crashing onto his.

Once you're through, it's your turn to pull away, leaving him in need.

"Permission granted.." Those few words had all it took for his lips to finally connect with your once more, this time with a firey and passionate seer of affection attached along with it. His hands are quick to unfold your body, pulling to straddle his lap. The already lack of any attire had been teasing enough, as the butterflies flying around in your stomach had been inexorable. Your confidentials meeting to grind against one another, the length of his cock gliding easily through your folds. His head draws back, groaning at the delightful feeling.

"Are we..." He takes in a few breaths, trying to make sense of this situation for what's best for the both of you.

"Are we sure this is a good place for our first?" You take a look around, thinking logically on how this could go. Your faces scrunches at the idea.

"Shower then?" Your comment had him rising quicker than his dick did, pulling you along up with him before he's pressing your back up against the tiled shower's wall. His palms coming to cup the rounds of your breasts, tweaking your nipples gently to see your reaction.

Not to his surprised, you'd moaned.

Quite loudly in fact.

Your head lulls against the shower's walls, while his smirk creeps his face.

"Didn't know you had that in you.." He groans, free hand reaching behind to pull your ass tighter against his frame, giving the rounded flesh some gentle squeezes.

"What do you mean, in me?" Your head follows the trail of kisses his lips had placed upon your exposed upper half, watching the glint in his eyes each time he notice your body flinching at the light grazes.

"Mmmm, you're such a sensitive baby, aren't you?" Your lips part, mouth dropping down to form a long O-shape. The digits of his fingers trail down your torso, brushing along the dip of your navel before slipping between your thighs. Your hands reach out to wrap themselves around his neck, while your palm moves the strands out from his view.

His long digits drew light circles into your hooded bud, as your back arches against the tiled wall. Your sounds are the only confirmation he needed to continue on his exploration.

"Hmm, you know I've always wondered something.." His tone is teasing, with a hint of malicious .. something.. behind it.

There was deffiantly more than this sweet cinnamon personality.

You scoff at his retort, feeling the way our leg twitches from the small amount of pleasure you'd reccived.

"I've always wanted to know.." You felt the sting of his finger pushing its way up into you, sliding easily past your folds, as the sounds it had drawn out were immaculate to his ears.

"If my accusations were correct." You groan out, not knowing a damn about what he had been going on with, but knowing damn well how it felt.

You chuckle at his words. "Yeah? What accusations?"

A smirk plasters his face.

"Oh, you know.. Just some things that have popped into my head.." His head's quick to find it's way down your body, as his face had been at direct level with your sobbing core. Your breath hitched at the sight.

"About how much pressure it would take for you to squeeze me with the fucking thighs until my head popped like a balloon.." His words cut like a knife dragging along your skin. His hand comes up, spreading your lips apart to reveal all of your shameful glory.

"How pretty this pussy would look all wet and needy for me." He removes all pressure, licking a stripe up the very center as your head lulls back, fist full of his hair quickly fill your balled hands.

"How loud you can scream my name."

Your hands ball ever more at his sudden words, as he takes the plump of his lips, wrapping them around your throbbing clit as a whole new world of this shit had just been unlocked for you like a fucking video game. He reaches up, pulling one of your thighs over his shoulder, burying the face even deep into your aching pussy, watching as the tip of his nose kisses your public bone.

Sounds of pleasure and nothing more had filled the dorm's shower room, as your best friend had been on his knees, acting like your pussy had been his favorite meal.

His palms grip at your thighs, feeling the soft pudgy goodness engulf his head even more.

Your head lulled back, thighs quivering around his head. Hands coming to grip at his damp roots, mouth jarring wide as he practically recites every letter from the alphabet.

You certainly hadn't planned for this to happen with your best friend. But hey,

Was this really a time to complain?

"Fu-fucking- Oh shit!" The burn you felt between your thighs had nothing on Jimin's teeth biting down into the side of your neck. His hips rolled against your body, as his arm kept your thigh proped up and open for his liking.

The pad of his lips switching between sucking and marking your damp skin, hot water steaming down onto the both of you. Your fingers tugged at his newly dyed roots,mouth parting as his cock slides against your walls.

"So fucking good for me, baby. Taking my cock so well." Your head lulls back, chest heaving in agony. His hips snapped against yours, as his hand helds you at the sides to keep you in place.

"O-oh my God.." You whine, unconsciously lifting your other leg to try and wrap yourself fully around his waist. A chuckle rolls from his lips, before he gently pulls out, making you whine from loss of contact.

In a matter of seconds, he has you sat on his lap, as he's resting on the shower stools surface. Wasn't the series position, but hey. You weren't one to complain.

"And here I thought Jin's old man stool was useless." He retorts, guiding your hips to sink down onto his standing cock. Your hands use the crease of his shoulders in balancing, as your let out a short laugh.

"Oh so now I have to do all the work?"

A smirk presses his lips, as his mouth reaches out to suck dark blotches into the skin of your collarbone. "Be a good girl and maybe it'll be worth your while."

Your heart sank at his words.

"Fuck you for being my friend."

"Why? Cause I'm so awesome at it?"

"No." You groan, taking a big gulp of air from the steam of the shower. "C-Cause you fucking know me too well."

He chuckles, gently guiding your hips along the length of his cock, your legs hugged to his sides in support of the painful position.

"Oh, im sorry for being such a good friend." Smirking, his hand comes to cup your breast, tweaking the erect bud between his two fingers. He watches as your lips drop to part in pleasure, leaning your body closer to his. The moment had been arrogant, and annoying, but most of all..

Amazing.

"mm- s-still fuck you." You moan out, body presses against his, in support. The burning of your thighs had been overpowering your motives to continue, as you let out a whine.

"Yeah yeah, yoy know you love it." Your pussy cleched around his cock, making your head fall onto his shoulder. His praises pulling you into a daze you'd never felt before. Nails digging into his glistening skin, the shower mixed along with your sweat at done nothing in making this scene any less arousing.

He lets out a soft chuckle, bringing his arms up to hold your body to his, making sure your fucked out state doesn't injure yourself.

His lips hover gently infront of yours, brushing a string of wet hair from your view.

"Weak." He teases.

You lift your arm, punching his side gently. His chest rolls out a soft laugh,hoisting your waist to press against his.

"Yah, are you really trying to sleep when we're having sex?"

Your head shakes, forehead pressed into his shoulder dip. "Fucking burns.."

"Ah, yeah I know. It's pretty big."

You lift up, playfully hitting his chest once more from his comment.

"Alright alright. Jeez, making the man do all the work as usual, huh?" He's quick to lift your body from his, pressing you back against the shower wall, easily sliding his cock through your velvety walls once more. Your arms throw themselves around his neck, head craning backwards as your back arches off against the wall. He scoffs, rolling his hips into yours. His finger coming up to poke your cheek.

"Faker."

A smile presses your lips, closing the distance between the two of you. Hands carding through his damp locks, as the shower's hot pressure drips along both of your skin.

Your eyes screwed shut, sucking in a breath. "F-fuck i-i'm-" His lips capture yours once more, as the tip of his index finger reaches down, rubbing circles against your throbbing clit.

"Yeahh, cum for me, jagi. Let all the guys know who's fucking you this good." Your head knocks back against the marbled shower wall, thighs twitching in his grip as a wave of pleasure crashes in to you. He moans out, feeling the way you clamp down on his when your orgasm hits.

"Oh, yeahhh! That's my good girl. Such a good baby for me- fuck!" With one final thrust, the tip of his cock kisses your cervix as he paints your walls white. You both pull away slightly, trying to catch your breaths. The hot shower water had done nothing in cooling the two of you down.

After a few moments drip by, Jimin lifts his head to look at you. A smirk presses his lips, as he pulls your figure back against his to make the two of your stand under the shower's rainfall like pressure.

"Looks like you're the one who needs a wash off now.."

You chuckle, cupping the side of his face in your palms, placing a gentle peck to his lips. His hands come to hold your waist, returning the cute gesture.

_______

Holy shit I'm finding so many unpublished drafts..

[somewhereincairparavel]

congrats on 400 follower event!!

as someone whos a jason grace stan i completely approve of the theme

my request would be warrior- about jason grace experiencing tiktok for the first time :)

Pjo social media au - Jason Grace edition!

PS I made it instagram instead because I don't use tiktok! I might even make a part two of this omg this was fun. I wanted to add videos like I did in the second one (with Percy and jason dancing ) but it wasn't supported by Tumblr so i added the Pinterest links to the first and last video of the face claims of jason dancing, just pretend like he posted it and check the video links out, they're super cute and so jason coded.

blondepeterpan has posted. [following ✓]

♡ 🗨️ ➢

blondepeterpan.Trying an internet dance for the first time!!

➥Liked by pan.pipes and 3,500 others..

16 hours ago

➥badboysupreme. He's a little confused but he's got the spirit (bro don't stare into my soul like that wtf) ♥ liked by blondepeterpan

➥pan.pipes. that lil dance 🥹 ♥ liked by blondepeterpan

➥persea.seaweedbrain. I thought my phone was glitching in the beginning lmao bro I finally get why people think you are built like a roman statue ♥ liked by blondepeterpan

➥thalia.hunter. Aw look at my baby bro guys, LOOK AT HIM HES SO SOFT CUTE AND INNOCENT.

Replies (1)

blondepeterpan. Thalia pls. not on a public platform 😭

blondepeterpan and persea.seaweedbrain has posted

♡ 🗨️ ➢

blondepeterpan. Dancing with one of my bros! Percy, you just couldn't bear to not make me laugh huh? And @badboysupreme, before you get dramatic, yes you are still my number 1 and ily, pls join me next time.

➥Liked by wise.girl.chase, hazel.sparkles, still.handsome.as.an.elephant.zhang, and 2,400 others

➥badboysupreme. aww thanks for the mention in the caption bbg, you are so thoughtful ily ♥ liked by blondepeterpan

replies (6)

➥blondepeterpan. anytime, don't ever feel replaced, bc you are always wanted, esp by me :)

➥badboysupreme. wait a sec.. did u just publically admit that you want me?? 👀

➥persea.seaweed.brain. don't get your hopes up dude, I already stole yo man lol isn't that right @blondepeterpan??

➥italian.ghost.boy. dam will and I are straighter than this wtf lmao

➥badboysupreme. cap asf bruh

➥panpipes. leo, jason has been real quiet since you asked him if you wanted him 👀

➥Italian.ghost.boy from one gay boy to another leo, I can confirm that jason is currently giggling and kicking his feet and is rethinking if he's actually straight or not after looking at your comment while simultaneously trying to convince himself that you are just a friend because he thinks you are too good for him :)

➥blonde.peter.pan. nico what the fuck.

➥persea.seweed.brain. caught in 4k LMAO

blondepeterpan. posted a story

blondepeterpan has posted. [following ✓]

♡ 🗨️ ➢

blondpeterpan. guys being a nerd isn't so bad 😔

➥Liked by slayperfectqueenreyna(spqr), and 3,999 others

slayperfectqueenreyna(spqr). Omg that wolf teeth in the end 🥺 you are always Rome's canine boy <3 ♥ liked by blondepeterpan

Replies (1)

➥blondepeterpan. reyna I miss u sm. I hope my sister isn't giving u a hard time in the hunters :)

➥wise.girl.chase. you're right jason, I'm a nerd and I love it. Atleast we are smart enough to keep our goofy boyfriends in check ;) ♥ liked by blondepeterpan

Replies (4)

➥blondepeterpan. real

➥blondepeterpan. wait. what boyfriend, I don't have a boyfriend.

➥blondepeterpan. Annabeth. What were you implying.

➥blondepeterpan. ANNABETH ANSWER ME PLS

[flightlessangelwings]

pulling your lover closer by the waistband

Joel Miller x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

Word count- 856

Warnings- smut (18+ only!), oral (f receiving), established relationship, slight praise kink, no plot just hot and needy lol, hinted reader is more curvy but can be interpreted any way, no game or show spoilers

Notes- Requested by my friend @bonk-horny-jail​ as part of my 4k follower celebration! You left it to me to pick between Din and Joel and it was a tough choice but I went with Joel here lol! Thanks so much for the request I had a lot of fun with this one!! Enjoy!

Feel free to also follow my update blog and turn on post notifications to stay up to date on when I post @flightlessangelwings-updates​

~

“Mmm.. Joel…”

You moaned as his warmth engulfed your entire being. Joel’s large hands caressed your body as he memorized your every curve and dip. His strong arms held you close, making you feel safe and protected. The tickle of his beard against your skin sent both chills and a warmth throughout your body. His touch drove you wild and sent a pulse of need throughout your entire body.

“I thought about you all damn day, baby,” he murmured against your lips as he broke away to admire you.

A smirk lit up your face as Joel’s deep eyes looked into your own, “Then prove it, cowboy,” your tone was low as you hooked a finger around the belt loop on his jeans.

“Yes ma’am,” Joel let you guide him back through the room until you hit the wall.

When you let out a gasp, Joel took the opportunity to kiss you again, this time with even more fervor than before. He groaned into you as his tongue danced with yours and the room warmed to the point where it felt like it could burst into flames. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders as Joel tugged at your clothes.

“You taste so fuckin’ good, baby,” Joel’s low voice went right to your core as he kissed along your neck, “Shit, I gotta taste more of you… Can’t wait…”

“Joel,” you moaned as you surrendered yourself to him.

His large, calloused hands cupped your breasts through your shirt and you let out a loud cry of pleasure. You arched your back for him, and Joel practically purred at your action. He whispered your name as his rough fingers grazed over your clothed nipples and his cock twitched in his pants at how much pleasure just that simple action gave you.

Usually, Joel liked to take you to the bedroom, where you could both be comfortable and he could pleasure you for hours. But today, the need was too great. From the moment he walked through the door, passions exploded from both of you as you jumped on him before the door was even locked. No, the bedroom would have to wait today, and Joel was content to sacrifice his aching knees to have you right there in the living room against the wall.

Joel kissed along your skin wherever he could reach as he dropped down to his knees. His face never left your body for more than a moment, and his incoherent praises were drowned out by your moans from his every kiss. 

Once Joel settled on his knees, he eagerly tugged at your pants, much like you yanked at his earlier. And the moment you were exposed to him, a soft gasp escaped his lips. Every time he saw you it was like the first time, and Joel was always awestruck by your beauty.

“Baby,” he sighed as he glanced up at your face, “Did I ever tell you how goddamn lucky I am that I get to call you ‘mine?’”

A rush of nerves pulsed through your veins and every inch of your skin tingled. Before Joel even touched you, already felt the anticipation jolt through you as if you were being electrocuted by his gaze alone. “Every single day,” you breathed. A soft smile lit up Joel’s face, and you counted yourself lucky that you got to see that side of him, “I’m the lucky one, Joel.”

Joel’s mouth opened, as if he had something to say back, but the flutter of your pussy called his attention. Instead, he dove into your cunt open mouthed and devoured you like a man starved. You let out a loud cry as you threw your head back against the wall and your hand landed in his hair. His large hands gripped your hips to keep you upright as he flicked his tongue along your folds.

Tears filled your eyes as Joel;s tongue hit your clit with precision every time, and your mind swam with the pleasure that it brought you. And it only intensified when he grabbed your leg and hiked it up over his shoulder to give himself better access to you.

“Oh fuck!” you screamed as you tugged on his hair, “Joel… I’m…” was all you got out before your orgasm crashed into you.

Your entire body trembled as you rode out your high of Joel’s tongue, and he didn’t stop until you nearly collapsed overtop of him. But, Joel would never let you fall, and he broke away from you quicker than he would have liked to catch you.

“Hang on baby, I got you,” Joel pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, “I got you,” he repeated in a softer voice.

“I know you do,” you whispered as you placed a trail of feather-light kisses along his jaw. Together, Joel lowered you both down to the floor where you melted into a puddle in his arms. Both of you just breathed deeply, wrapped up in the other’s embrace for several minutes before you broke the silence, “Let me return the favor now, mi amor…”

[sherbet-shivers]

A Minor Malfunction Part 1/3

We need to ignore that this is 6 years late ashgdahls (I only just got to play D/etroit: B/ecome H/uman and my love for sweet baby boy Co/nnor is alive)! Also figured snz is still snz, so even if you don’t care for the fandom you might enjoy the main course anyway lol

**Please do not share to non-kink snz blogs — no need to drag vanillas into this! This is also my first time posting to tumblr at all, so formatting tips are always welcome <3**

Blurb: Connor suffers a little virus (Part 2 here and Part 3 here)

Characters: Co/nnor R/K800 (-centric because he’s babygirl) and H/ank A/nderson

Length: 4k+ words

TW: cursing, minor robot discrimination; no spoilers

“You’re quiet tonight, Connor,” Hank observes between sips of his drink. His name triggers the Android to lift his head and meet his partner’s gaze, which studies him conspicuously.

Connor smiles a bit stiffly. “You usually prefer me quiet, Lieutenant.”

His investigative partner groans. “Yeah, when you’re barking up my ass,” he scoffs, though his voice lacks any hints of malice. The two had been working a handful of Deviant cases together and Hank’s introductory disdain had subtly been reduced to something warmer. Teasing had become their shared language, which was a preferred change of pace from where they’d started; not to mention a great way to lighten the mood between all the rumors of homicide and an Android uprising. Still, in spite of their growing closeness, Connor doubted Hank considered him a true partner, let alone a friend, but at least the two were no longer arguing like they had been a few weeks prior.

“So,” Hank starts again, “what’s going on with you?”

Connor makes a face, even tilting his head a bit before glimpsing side to side. “Nothing, as we’re currently idle in a bar.”

“No shit, smartass. I mean what’s going on, as in why are you acting all funny?”

“Funny?” Connor sifts through his memory, trying to recall a recent instance in which he’d been humorous by Hank’s standards. To no one’s surprise, he comes up empty. “I don’t recall acting funny. Why? Do you want to hear a joke?”

“Wha-? No! Christ, nevermind; just forget I said anything you weirdo,” Hank dismisses.

Connor didn’t mind the rejection (nothing was personal to machines), but he was programmed to follow orders; thus, he re-quiets, following Hank’s lead.

However, just because he’s silent, doesn’t mean he’s inactive. An Android’s life was rarely dull given there was a full 24 hours in day to take advantage of. As much as Hank said he loved naps, Connor couldn’t imagine wasting precious work hours to sleep.

Even now they were technically “freed” of their investigative duties, but Connor still had plenty of personal maintenance to attend to. It was the daily obligation of an RX800 model like himself (all AI models really), and so he promptly runs a survey of his internal diagnostics. Aside from making his masters happy, it was an Android’s priority to ensure that everything about them is up to date and code — ranging from their adaptive software to the state of their hard drive.

At the same time, he decides to trace through the entirety of his memories, still determined to figure out what Hank meant when he said “acting funny”. Funny…the word repeats in Connor’s head. Human emotions and terms were somewhat difficult to diagnose on his own, though Hank’s recent company had introduced Connor to a wide collection of colorful language. So many terms denoted so many different meanings, many of which were subjective and therefore wildly confusing to a purely calculative mind. So when Hank said Connor was “acting funny”, what exactly did that mean? His type of humor was unique (and apt to change given his BAC), so maybe what he found funny wasn’t what Connor had originally filtered for. Or maybe…the term meant something entirely different altogether? But, then what did that mean? Questions like these are what made humans so fascinating and troubling according to Connor’s programming. He could run himself in circles for hours asking the same questions, constantly seeking meaning, searching for answers, decoding Hank’s unusual phrases-

Suddenly, an alarm goes off in Connor’s system, alerting him to some kind of error in his software. It’s honestly startling, catching the Android surprisingly off-guard for once. This…hadn’t ever happened before; at least, not while he was without a suitable guardian or engineer nearby. Thankfully he’s already wired to know exactly how to respond, and thus promptly performs a system-wide scan to diagnose the error in question. Within seconds, his answer is received, though to his misfortune, it’s little more conclusive.

Code: C5Y0091-24BC. Classification: Unauthorized Bio-Component Breach By Unknown Digital Error. Software Virus Suspected. Result: Bio-Component Defects And Malfunction. CyberLife has been automatically contacted. Expect an update within 24 hours.

A single blink has Connor back in reality, surrounded by the musky odors characteristic of the many bars he and Hank frequently hopped. Hank is muttering something about the game with Jimmy’s bartender, but Connor hardly hears them.

Virus? Malfunction? How could that be possible? Connor had experienced software issues in the past, but many were easily patched or otherwise resolved by his masters, sometimes within seconds! So this was…unusual to say the least. He’d been warned of course to stay vigilant against hackers, obvious glitches, chain mail, pirated sites, FaceBook and other shady threats — it’s why he ran diagnostics multiple times a day. So how could this have happened? How could he have been so negligent to have missed something?

At least CyberLife had been notified, which meant he’d only have to wait a few hours for his orders on how to proceed; but until then, what was he expected to do? He was hesitant to trust himself, especially after being branded by his own system as potentially defective.

Malfunction. The word echoes through his system and encourages Connor to continue searching his recent stored memories. He weaves through the past effortlessly in search of anything that could stand out or explain his current predicament…and that’s when he’s reminded of what Hank said not more than two minutes ago. Funny. Had he really slipped up so poorly even he hadn’t noticed something but Hank did? What did it mean if a trained AI couldn’t catch a mistake while a human so easily could?

Connor chooses not to answer that question as he comes across a particular gap in his memory — one he hadn’t noticed until now. It was short — a blackout lasting no more than four seconds — but that may as well have been an eternity if it meant there was an absence of crucial information. Rewinding prior to the lull in time, Connor revisits a particular scene during he and Hank’s investigation earlier that same day.

The two of them had been assigned to a Deviant case involving an unnamed MJ100. The dog sitter had been out walking two corgis, both belonging to its owner when it was confronted by a group of six human protesters. After being cornered, the Android was jumped, pushed to the ground, and kicked repeatedly, enduring damage to its left ocular component and minor denting targeting its knee attachment on the same side. Its gait was consequently deemed unstable as it tried to pick itself up. As it could not recalculate its balance, it was knocked down a second time; and on its third attempt, the Android had defied its programming and resorted to fighting off its aggressors using heavy handed tactics and a nearby blunt object (presumably one of the protester’s sign boards). It then attempted to flee the scene but made it less than a block away before being tackled and deactivated by a local officer.

Weirdly enough, the next few details are a bit scrambled within Connor’s hard drive. All that is clear is that while investigating the Android’s body and calculating the damage, Connor’s vision goes dark — particularly after coming into direct contact with its bio components. It’s a startling discovery, and his vision only seems to return a few seconds later after Hank snaps at him to answer a question he’d claimed to have repeated once before.

Following that instance, minor things that should’ve caught Connor’s attention had gone completely unnoticed. His temperatures were running high and low interchangeably by several degrees, his system wasn’t adequately flushing out debris causing congestion within his gears, and even his processing speed — which usually ran above peak performance — was barely keeping up with that of a model two series back.

How had he missed all that? Surely he would’ve recalled Hank repeating himself, if not the obvious lull in time and all the issues impairing his components. Why couldn’t he put together a simple sequence of events? Just how damaging was this virus? What happened to him within that lost period?

“Hey!”

Connor glimpses at Hank, who is snapping in his line of sight. The old detective snorts once he realizes Connor has come to.

“Jesus, I guess even robots can be space cadets now, huh?” He muses as he slaps a wadded up stack of bills onto the counter and slides them over to the standing bartender. “I’m heading home to feed my dog. You’d better go back to the station and recharge yourself, Blinky. That fucking disc in your temple is going crazy.”

Without any further pleasantries, Hank takes off towards the door and exits the bar through a cloud of cigarette smoke. Connor meant to pay for his drinks and a ride home, but he supposed that’d have to wait until tomorrow. For now, it was probably best he follow his partner’s commands. After all, he was made to heed directions, and eager to run another diagnostic scan undisturbed.

Going in the opposite direction of his partner, Connor starts his way back to the police station downtown, occupying his walk by fumbling with the trademark silver coin he carries in his pocket. Hopefully all he needed for a fresh start was an overnight rebooting.

…

Connor Model Prototype RX800 — Serial Number: 313 248 317. Functionality: Below Average. Code: C5Y0091-24BC. Classification: Unauthorized Bio-Component Breach By Digital Error 2B9YD77158G. Software Virus Confirmed. Result: Bio-Component Defects And Malfunction. Self-Repairs Update Initialized. Time Remaining: 62 Hours, 58 Minutes, And 23 Seconds. System performance is being automatically monitored by and reported to CyberLife HQ.

The alert rouses him from his sleep mode. It wasn’t the best news to start the day with, but then again, neither was this creeping sensation bothering his nose and tickling his chest. He attempts another scan to source out the cause, but is immediately interrupted by a sudden, involuntary gasp. The reaction quickly proves out of his control; because in spite of trying to fight and diagnose it, his efforts prove futile as his chest inflates, mouth parts, and he’s bent at the waist with an unexpected-

“Ah’HTSHh’iew!” And another? “Iihy’YDTZSH’shH! Hh-?!” And another?? “hK’SCH’uh!”

He shakes his head and sniffles instinctively, more than a little surprised and uneasy following such an aggressive series of outbursts. He didn’t like that one bit, and could only assume that a reflex like that attested to the true extent of his malfunction. Not only that, but the annoying fluttering feeling in his face hadn’t been remotely relieved; if anything, it’d been stirred and hurled through his system like a shock of irritating static. He wasn’t familiar with automatic overrides to his manual settings, and didn’t wish to experience that again if he could help it.

Straightening his back, he ignores the blank gazes from his fellow policing Androids, who are similarly parked in their charging stations in rows running to his left and right.

“Excuse me,” Connor murmurs, not that any of his companions could feel offended by his unusual behavior. He’d only said it out of sheer obligation, though perhaps somewhere deep in his system he was also preventing being viewed as a threat…as unfortunately impaired.

A malfunction.

For the sake of preserving his public image, he would commit himself to being as discreet as possible. He wasn’t a malfunction, and he would set himself to prove it. He just had to get through the next two days without drawing unwanted attention or affording any more hiccups. He could do that.

Right?

…

For the first time since his creation and introduction to the public eye, Connor was experiencing…doubts. The virus he’d contracted was proving to be more difficult to supersede the more hours that went on. The rate of his degradation was…less than optimal, to say the least. For one, his bio-components (as predicted) were suffering unfamiliar glitches all over. His movements were sluggish despite a full night’s charge, and his data processing was running at a measly 73% speed — even slower than last night. His internal temperatures were rising and falling like a seesaw; the balance constantly tipped between too hot and too cold. It was starting to affect his bio regulators, which couldn’t decide if he needed to start letting off steam or shiver through the morning. Thankfully, these ailments weren’t too difficult to hide so long as he was diligent in monitoring them and constantly tracking their progression. As soon as something was apt to change, he was quick to process a solution in order to appear as normal and high functioning as possible.

What he couldn’t predict nor control was the sudden influx of outbursts.

It’d only been a handful of hours since he “woke”, and even less time since the station opened up to its human staff; and already, Connor was slipping up here and there. As an Android, people paid him little attention (which actually worked in his favor), but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned over being reported by a fellow Android or a stray, observant human. After all, he’d discovered that no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn’t do much to prevent-

“Iiy’aASCH’hiEW!”

That. He despised the act itself, and grew frustrated every time it took him by surprise. Why was it so difficult to challenge or prepare for? If he had just a little more notice, he could stop himself or at least attempt to override its command. However, every time he tried, he just couldn’t. He was being outplayed by an infraction, a glitch — a minor one at that! — and that only added to the frustration gnawing at his senses.

As if the lack of control alone wasn’t bad enough, he was also starting to tire of the persistent, crawling itch tracing his nose and teasing at the inner cavity. It was terribly irritating, prompting him to pinch and rub at his face, or sweep a knuckle under the sensitive (and offending) appendage. But doing so often only relit the flame, like a match reigniting a fire so close to dying, but reluctant to fade out. Even now, just as he earns some relief thanks to a series of sniffling and scrubbing, he feels that ember kicking up again; tickling and teasing against his inner sinuses until he’s forced to-

“eE’SHYIU’Uui! ‘dSHH!…ha’hh-! uH’-!”

The final one teases him, so much so he isn’t even certain it’s the last one. He’s aware he must look ridiculous — an Android caught in a hysteric limbo, interrupted by a dysfunction that it’d never succumb to before, let alone conceived. He tries desperately to fight it — to prove he can use sheer logic to overcome his own reflex, but the itch is just too overwhelming, causing his eyes to squint and lips to quiver. So after a few good seconds of rebelling against the inevitable, he hastily pardons himself to the station’s supply closet, locks the door behind him, and surrenders to his system.

In his clumsy haste however, he had managed to knock over a few spare broomsticks, and even rattled a small tower of cardboard boxes. His vision was immediately clouded by a puff of gray, but he didn’t have much time to observe or clean up the mess since he was already too busy-

“ae’ESHHEW’ww! Aa’KSCH’yIEW! T’tdSSH’yiEW!”

Was it getting worse?! Between hitching breaths Connor struggles to perform another scan. He interrupts himself twice, but ultimately the result comes back, reading out in bold text: Environmental Irritant Level: High. Bio-Receptor Reactivity: High. System Override: Automatic. Self-Repairs Update Ongoing. Time Remaining: 57 Hours, 22 Minutes, And 19 Seconds. System performance is being automatically monitored by and reported to CyberLife H-

“HHh’ITSH’hUuii! Ahh…h’ah-! H’-! H’PTzsSH’IEWw!”

They were stumbling out of him in pairs and triples now, every fittish burst triggering glitches in his sight and sending shivers down his core. He tries to keep them quiet by smothering his nose into his palm, but air manages to slip out anyway, making hisses of noise he’s starting to find…embarrassing? Perhaps shameful was a more accurate term, on second thought.

Still caught between sneezing or not sneezing, he squints through bubbling gasps and hones in on his immediate area. His specs focus in on the particles of dust scattered around him; no doubt disturbed by his sudden entrance. His system classifies the debris as a common irritant. Ah. So that’s what was setting him off worse than before.

He shakes his head and scrubs at his nose with a free knuckle. Here he thought he’d finally found some reprieve only to cause himself another problem. He should’ve expected this or pre-calculated the chances of this happening, but of course little was working in his favor with a bugged out tactical unit.

“Hih’PTSHH’ieew! Ah’haaH-…!”

Seriously? How long did this usually last?

“h’H-…! Nnng…oH’H-!…oh…”

Connor lets out an artificial sigh, his nose twitching aggressively and mouth uncurling from a snarl. The itch hasn’t quite dissipated, but at least the urge to sneeze has retreated for the time being. As he scratches at his face and sniffs testily, he makes a mental note-to-self to avoid any more stale or dirty areas over the next two days.

He had to get out of here, before someone noticed he went missing or worse, caught him in the act of hiding. Reluctant to get dragged into another fit but eager to escape, he raises his arm and buries his nose against his sleeve — a courtesy he believes humans are commonly accustomed to when they suffer similar ailments. He then tends to the supplies around him, returning them to their exact state before he’d made a wreck of things. Once adequately tidied (both he and the closet space), Connor tentatively unlocks the closet and exits the shroud of its privacy.

The immediate change in lighting is too fast for his eyes to process, causing a temporary blindness that stings his circuits and scatters pixels across his vision. He grimaces unconsciously as he heads towards his desk, and to his surprise, the commanding officer is waiting for him when he approaches.

“There you are RX800. We’ve got a new report about a Deviant downtown. I want you to pull Hank from wherever the fuck he is and go investigate.”

The chief slips a manilla folder into Connor’s hands then readjusts the belt around his gut. Connor busies himself with downloading the walls of text in his hands, then blinks up at his boss with an automated smile.

“Of course, Chief Fowler. I’ll be sure to retrieve Mr. Anderson, and we will investigate the scene immediately.”

His response is somewhat obvious, but still, the chief approves of his confirmation, nodding as he starts to brush past the bot. Connor glimpses down at the data in his hands again, when suddenly, his captain pauses and waves for his attention. Promptly, Connor swivels on his heel.

“You look different, RX,” the officer acknowledges, more skeptical than worried. “More…,” he ponders for the words, eventually settling on, “blue.”

Blue? Connor couldn’t tell what his commander meant, at least not with his processing unit so slow to react. Did he mean sad — as in the human emotional equivalent of blue? Taking a guess, Connor puts on his best smile in spite of his state and shakes his head.

“I assure you I’m normal, Captain. Fully functioning and eager to follow your directives!”

He hopes his summery tone is enough to dissuade his captain’s lingering stare — which it ultimately does — however, instead of looking appeased, his commander only looks more confused before resuming his strut in the other direction. Connor shuffles uncomfortably where he remains, glimpsing side to side self-consciously in case other people have witnessed his untimely encounter with the chief. Thankfully nobody seems to notice, but in the midst of his search, Connor manages to catch a glimpse at his own reflection against Hank’s black computer screen. He leans a bit closer to get a better look at himself, and what he finds puts his erroneous state into further perspective.

His hair is disheveled, the corners of his eyes tainted with faint webs of static, and his cheeks and nose are dusted a blue color eerily similar to that of his Thirium — his blue blood. That’s probably what Fowler was talking about; and if that wasn’t already damning enough, Connor could only imagine what Hank would say (or think) when he fetched him.

Connor smooths back his hair and pats at his cheeks. He’d have to be extra cautious with Hank if he wanted to dodge his attention. It’d be a difficult task given the detective had already picked up on his mild dysfunction the night prior, but Connor was always committed to giving his best effort. Sure, it may slow down his rate of update, but likely by a negligible amount.

Confident in his ability to disguise his condition, Connor tucks the Chief’s folder under his arm and heads down the nearest hallway towards the station’s south exit. This would work, and it would be worth it.

Anything was worth it if it meant sparing Hank’s judgment.

…

By the time Connor reaches Hank’s house, he’s damp with rainwater. He’d made longer treks in the rain in the past, but this time, he’d failed to take into account how the weather would affect his weakened system. Currently his internal temperature sat at an unusual low of 57 degrees Fahrenheit, and his whole body was shaking to make up for the cold. In the short amount of time that had passed, optimization had dropped to 66%.

The only positive was he’d somehow managed to relieve the blue tint in his face, and the repeated fits of sneezing had died down significantly now that he was surrounded by fresh air. If he was fortunate, that’s how it’d remain for the next several hours.

The Android climbs the front porch, then knocks at Hank’s door (always in threes). As usual, he’s first greeted by Sumo’s barking followed by the muffled sounds of Hank cursing out his unexpected (but still somehow predictable) return visitor.

“Goddammit, not today you walking nuisance!”

At least he knows it’s him.

“Apologies Lieutenant, but I’ve been given direct orders by Chief Fowler to come get you. He wants us to investigate another Deviant case immediately.”

There’s no response. Connor didn’t usually grovel, but he had work to do, and it was starting to get pretty cold out there in the rain.

“P-Please,” Connor pleads, unintentionally stuttering thanks to the shivers wracking his system. “You know I can’t do this without you, Lieutenant.”

There’s another pause of silence, only this time it’s followed by a characteristic groan and the sound of footsteps approaching the porch. Right on cue, Connor takes a step back just as Hank flings open the door and motions him inside.

“Get your ass in here and give me fifteen minutes, huh? I need to change and sober up a bit.”

Connor nods as he follows Hank inside, getting no more than a few feet into the living room before he’s bombarded by Sumo, who licks at his shins and threatens to knock him over given his massive size.

“Sumo down!” Hank orders as he heads towards his bedroom, though the friendly Saint Bernard pays his master no mind.

Connor giggles as he kneels to Sumo’s height and proceeds to pet behind his ears. “Good boy, Sumo,” he consoles. Freeing one hand, Connor fishes in his pockets until he comes across a particular texture, revealing a hidden stash of spare treats he carries solely for occasions like this. He palms the biscuits over for Sumo’s pleasure, and smiles fondly as the hound licks them from his grasp.

“You better not be feeding him again, Connor!” Hank calls from the other room.

“Of course not, sir!” Connor answers, cooing as Sumo’s tongue tickles his fingers. The more he visited Hank’s home, the more he looked forward to seeing Sumo’s goofy smile. He was starting to see why humans adored animals — especially good boys like Sumo.

“Riiiight,” Hank drawls in return. He’s been a detective for over 20 years, so why an Android attempted lying to him about his own dog, he seriously didn’t know. “Hey, Connor!”

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Remind me later to tell Fowler to kiss my ass next time he sends me out into the rain. Swear that fucker doesn’t ever need me until the weather is shit,” he adds beneath a grumble.

“Will do,” Connor answers, still mildly distracted by the fluffy lump of love curled by his feet.

After a few more minutes, Hank emerges from his bedroom, dressed in a darkened leather coat, distressed blue jeans, and boots well past their wear. It complimented his grizzled aesthetic, which Connor was starting to find charming the more time they spent together. Hank must catch the way he’s staring, because he furrows his brows and gnaws at his bottom lip; a habit indicating some level of self-consciousness.

“What? I got something on my face?” Hank asks. It wouldn’t be the first time he left the house with pizza stains and booze clinging to his beard.

“No,” Connor replies, frankly. “I like your outfit. You look handsome, Lieutenant.”

Hank looks more perturbed than complimented, but regardless he says nothing but “Christ” under his breath as he brushes past Connor and swipes his house keys off his computer desk. As he does, the faint blush of his cheeks are exposed by the soft glow of his laptop’s LED. Connor smiles, rising to his feet and reaching for the door handle. Swinging it open, he beckons for Hank to lead the way.

Hank obliges the kind offer, but halts midstep just as he’s about to pass the pseudo-doorman.

“What’s on your face?” he asks after glimpsing Connor up and down.

The Android shuffles in place. “I-I don’t know what you mean,” he answers somewhat meekly.

Hank doesn’t believe him for a second, that much was obvious with the way he stiffens his jaw and narrows his eyes. Still, he chooses not to elaborate, and simply relents to looking back at Sumo, who has sidled up against his leg as a goodbye gesture. Hank gives the pup one last parting pat on the head before stepping out into the morose outdoors.

“Hold down the fort, Sumo. This won’t take long,” Hank sighs. “I’m not wasting more than four hours out in this goddamn shit.”

He starts down the front steps while Connor turns to close the door behind them. As the Android does so however, a dreadfully familiar tickle takes him by surprise, gracing him with barely enough time to tuck his nose into his collar — a sloppy and hurried attempt to suppress a mini fit.

“iihH’MFFSH’ui! ih’zZSHH! dtsSH’yiew!”

He sniffles carefully as he rises from his jacket and shakes his head free of the bothersome itch.

“Connor! The Hell are you doing?” Hank calls from the sidewalk.

“Nothing; sorry! I'm coming, Lieutenant!”

Sumo whimpers at the Android and paws at his leg, as though he senses something is wrong with his second best friend. To relieve the dog’s distress, Connor cups Sumo’s chin and scratches it one last time.

“I’m alright, Sumo. Be a good boy, okay? I promise I’ll bring Hank back home soon.”

With that said, Connor closes the door, tugs the handle to make sure it’s locked, then races after his Lieutenant. As he closes in on his side, another alert crowds his interface, reading: Functionality: Moderately Impaired. Code: C5Y0091-39BC. Result: Bio-Component Defects And Malfunction. Risk Of Shut-Down: Low. Self-Repairs Update Ongoing. Time Remaining: 55 Hours, 50 Minutes, And 50 Seconds. System performance is being automatically monitored by and reported to CyberLife HQ.

He sniffs discreetly and steals a final pinch at his nose. For one of the few times since they’d met, Connor agreed with Hank completely.

Hopefully this is all over soon.

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

2023 Fic Round Up (Part 1: Fic List)

I have been tagged in about a million different round ups of sorts, so here's Part 1: A Comprehensive 2023 Fic List sorted by month posted (if a multichap, I listed it the first month it posted), featuring the major details and a single-sentence summary/quote (so a fun challenge for me).

I'll post Part 2: Favorite Quotes and Part 3: Channeling Nora Holleran to Bring You My AO3 Data over the next two days (for the data I want to wait til the last possible day).

Without further ado, here is my 2023 Fic List:

January:

Nothing, I was still a lurker.

February:

Prince Henry and FSOTUS Alex Claremont-Diaz Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions (T, 2.4K, YouTube Script Fic)

10 Things Alex Claremont-Diaz Can’t Live Without (T, 3K, YouTube Script Fic)

10 Things HRH Prince Henry Can’t Live Without (T, 2.5K, YouTube Script Fic)

March:

Prince Henry and FSOTUS Alex Claremont-Diaz Take a Couples Quiz (T, 5K, YouTube Script Fic)

The Super Six Take a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair (M, 7K, YouTube Script Fic)

Baby's First Pride (E, 10K, WIP Multi-Chap)

Post-canon, canon-compliant (ignoring bonus chapter) look at the Super Six celebrating their first pride after the emails—I want to come back and finish this (I got interrupted by Life) but my writing has evolved a lot since March and I'm daunted by all the editing I'd have to do, lol

ALEX CLAREMONT-DIAZ COMMUNES WITH HIS ANCESTORS WHILE EATING SPICY WINGS | Hot Ones (T, 3K, YouTube Script Fic)

April-June

Trying to survive the end of the school year as a teacher before I left my job :)

July

PRINCE HENRY SENTENCES US TO THE DUNGEONS WHILE EATING SPICY WINGS | Hot Ones  (M, 3K, YouTube Script Fic)

August

FirstPrince Sings Queen, Lil Nas X, and Taylor Swift in a Game of Song Association | ELLE (T, 2.5K, YouTube Script Fic)

Claremont 2008 (M, 26K, Complete Multi-Chap, Canon Divergence)

A world where Ellen gets elected in 2008 instead of 2016, and the friends-to-lovers path that puts Henry on. If you want to relive the early 2010s, enjoy epistolary fics, or want a glimpse of a world where Alex & Henry go to college together, you might like this.

September

How well you play...that's up to you (M, 4K, FirstPrince Week)

Grey's Anatomy-Inspired AU, where Alex & Henry are both surgical residents—currently a one-shot, but I plan on writing a multi-chap prequel for this at some point.

Keep this Love in a Photograph (T, 2.6K, FirstPrince Week)

Post-Canon: Henry finds Alex's old photo album and they take a stroll down memory lane.

The Starwand (T, 1.7K, FirstPrince Week)

Three vignettes from Alex's life (two featuring Henry) where a sparkler makes an appearance—both a kid fic of Alex and Alex with his kids.

Somebody Call 911 (M, 2.4K, FirstPrince Week)

College AU where Alex is sneaking around with Henry behind his roommate's back—until it all goes to shit.

October

Sets on the Beach (M, 4K, FirstPrince Week)

Crack Treated Seriously, Alex and Henry are on rival queer beach volleyball teams.

Water over Blood (G, 3K, FirstPrince Week)

Post-Canon 5+1 of five times Henry's niece loved Alex, and one time she loved Henry

L(ate) S(leepy) A(morous) T(exting) (M, 1K, FirstPrince Week)

Text-fic of a missing moment from the book, because I am convinced that Alex did, in fact, study for the LSAT (it's just more realistic if we're to believe he scored well enough to get into NYU)

November

Freaky Friday (I woke up in my enemy's body) (M, 9K, Halloween, Huh?)

Canon Divergence, Freaky Friday-Inspired Body Swap AU, Crack Treated Seriously: Between Cakegate and Alex's visit to London, the boys swap bodies and proceed to learn a lot about each other. And themselves.

December

Alex Claremont-Díaz Answers Your Questions | Actually Me |GQ (M, 2K, YouTube Script Fic)

Super Six and the Siren's Call (T, 111K Total, Posting Bi-weekly)

The Percy Jackson AU, co-written with @read-and-write- and @inexplicablymine. Quests and Greek References abound! Check out more @auntiepezzasupdates

(Dil)Do It Yourself (E, 16.7K, New Traditions Advent Calendar)

Alex attends a DIY Dildo Workshop for the holidays, where he meets Henry, who's helping to lead the workshop—and eventually, helps Alex in other ways. The tags will tell you all that you need to know.

Thanks to @rockyroadkylers @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @kiwiana-writes @welcometololaland and anyone else who tagged me that I missed! I was waiting to post all my fics for December before I did this :) Since I'm pretty late, I'll tag @ssmtskw @matherines @affectionatelyrs and an open tag to anyone who's made it this far and wants to do this!

[mingiswow]

Color this cold world | Jeong Yunho

Pairing: Yunho x gn!reader (reader has a vagina)

Genre: smut, post-apocalyptic, dystopic, porn with a little of plot

Word count: ~4k

Warnings: mentions of death, weapons, fight, blood, wounds and murder, mentions of father and mother figures, reader doesn’t believe in god, reader is shorter than him, many pet names it gets sickening, not proofread, smut

Smut Warnings: oral (reader receiving), fingering, piv, protected sex, choking, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, slight degradation, Yunho has a big dick, uses of pet names (baby, bunny, etc), semi-public sex if I forgot anything let me know

A/n: I’m going through a Yunho and Seonghwa brain rot ever since the concept photos were released and when the mv came out I HAD to write something. It’s not completely inspired by Ateez universe (also because I still don’t understand a single thing about the storyline and tbh gave up, I’m too old for this lol), but a little inspired by the mv, and the dystopian novels I grew up reading, so if anything sound similar it might be that. 

⚠️ English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any grammatical error

↪ Feedback is always welcomed

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⇉Minor DNI ⇇

You paced around the little room. The skin around your nails already hurting from how much you’ve been biting them while waiting for any news from your boyfriend and his friends.

You looked over the small dirty window and saw the grey and ashy sky of the country. You don’t even remember seeing the sun, ever since the revolution started years ago and the opponent side won, the world have turned into a big mess of ashes and destruction, the few pieces of vegetation existing being the small weeds that besides all the pollution and destruction rose upon the cement cracks and dry soils. They are, somehow, the reason you still believe in a better future. And Yunho.

You still remember how you met him and the others, your father was one of the heads behind the rebellion against the state, always busy trying to make this destruction stop. He was a very smart man and raised you and your older brother alone after your mother left you three to run away with the chief of the opponents when you were born. Your dad recruited young children and teenagers who wanted to fight, and Yunho was one of them. 

He was your age, his chubby cheeks fuller to make him look stronger but his eyes and the way his knuckles were white from hilding into a fist betrayed him. 

The first time you had contact was when you helped his wound a few months after he joined the rebellion, you were one of those responsible for the nursing, alongside his friend Jongho, that joined with him.

“Are you okay, man?” the younger asked and he nodded, clearly scared.

“If you want to be part of this, you’ll have to be stronger. The state army have no fear nor remorse, not even for young people like us” you stated as you prepared the gauze to clean the cut. “I know it’s hard” he nodded and held all the pain he could. That day he promised to fight not only for his family and friends, but for you as well.

As the years passed by, the young chubby boy you used to know grew to be one of the best body combat fighters as well as shooter, his body now tall and well built made every one swoon over him. When your dad and brother were killed, Yunho was the one that held you close and wiped your tears, the one that soothe your pain away and made sure you were strong enough to go back to your duty as the head nurse. All while assuming the combat training chief position. 

So when you looked at the watch in your wrist and saw that Yunho was more than half an hour late you panicked. You didn’t even believe in god but started praying for him to come home safe and sound to your arms. 

Him, Seonghwa, Hoongjoong, San and Yeosang went to a mission on the frontier a week ago and you marked to meet in the spot this very day at 3pm but so far no news of him or the others. The minutes seem to pass one by each hour yet, at the same time, to fly fast. 

It was past 4pm, your eyes betraying you and watering down on the thought of losing Yunho, the hope was almost gone but then a loud noise scared you. The first thought being that they came to get you. The enemies. You stood quiet in your corner of the room, listening to the noises that seemed to be happening a few floors under the one you were. You hugged your legs and more tears spilled as you expected the worst to fund you. 

And then you heard silence. Everything went quiet. The only sound being your fastened heartbeat and steps that came closer and closer by second. You closed your eyes and waited.

“Yn? Yn, are you here?” You recognized Seonghwa’s voice and immediately jumped into his arms to hug your friend. “Hey hey hey. It’s fine, big brain. We’re back” he hugged you back and let you cry on his shoulders seeing how overwhelmed you were. 

“What happened? Why are you guys late? Where's the rest? Where's Yunho? Is he okay? Please tell he’s fine and safe and-“

“Yn, calm down” the tall man held your shoulders. “We were surprised by an enemy troop while almost arriving at the gates. We had to wait till we could attack”

“And what were those noises before you entered?” 

“There were more of them waiting for us here, thankfully they didn’t know you were here as well otherwise…” he went quiet and you understood what he meant. Seonghwa always has been the reason in the group, always making sure everyone was both physically and mentally well. 

“And where’s Yunho? And the others?” 

“They are back at the HQ, Hongjoong, San, and Yunho were hurt a little. But they’re fine!” He was quick to add seeing your eyes widen when he mentioned your boyfriend’s name. “Let’s go back eh? I know you want to see him” you nodded and quickly started to go down the stairs, a few dead men over the floors and some of your people collecting everything useful they had. 

You couldn’t help but notice the number of dead men, especially on the first floor and your heart squeezed thinking about how many of these Yunho and the boys had to fight knowing that they were at a disadvantage. “There were many but you know how good San is with traps and Yeosang in bulk killing” Seonghwa spoke as he could read your thoughts. You nodded and sat in the passenger seat of his van, more anxious than before. 

As soon as the van stopped in front of the nurse HQ you jumped out of the vehicle and ran to find Yunho. 

“Wing four” you hear someone scream to you and you went straight to the place. 

You opened the door and there he was, sitting naked on top of the doolie, his back facing you and you could see some cuts, burns and scratches.  He heard your footsteps and turned around, a smile finding its way on his lips amidst the dry blood and wounds. 

He left the bed and opened his arms for you to hug him and before you could even think about hurting him more, you ran to his arms, burying your face in his chest and crying all over again. 

“Sh, little one. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” he caressed your hair and kissed the top of your head. 

“You scared me, I almost thought I had lost you” you confessed to him, feeling the anxiety finally leave your body, legs becoming a bit weak after the tension vanished.

“I’m not going anywhere, love” he held your face between his hands, making you look into his eyes and wiped your tears, his smile never leaving his lips. “I love you too much to simply leave you like this, you have to make more effort to get rid of me” 

You chuckled, even after being beaten and hurt, even after almost dying, he still had the energy to be playful and make you feel better. “I love you so much, Yunho” he nodded, pecking your nose. “I love you too, my love”.

You kept in each others’ arms for some time, just enjoying the presence and warmth of your bodies before you remembered you had to treat his wounds and clean him. 

“Go to the bath to clean the dirt and relax your muscles. I’ll grab the things to clean your wounds and patch you up, k?” 

While he did as you said, you grabbed the necessary items from the other room and prepared some ointments and medications.

“Were you waiting for me to come and stitch you?” You asked as you entered back the room, putting everything in its place and going with gauze and some antiseptic spray to disinfect the cuts and bruises. You sat at the edge of the tub, bending towards the bigger cut in his chest. 

“Always. Only my little bunny knows how to treat me” he sniffed your neck making your skin shiver. 

“You could have had an infection with that” you could feel him tense up his muscles under your touch as you spread the ointment and analyzed if it needed stitches. He smirked when he saw you bite your lips when you felt his broad chest in your hands. You always have been obsessed with Yunho’s body and, for some wicked reason, every time you saw him with some type of bruise your body heated all up knowing that those were symbols of his strength and that he could kill someone with his bare hands. 

“I knew it was not that bad. Besides…” he slowly ran his fingers through your exposed arms and legs, the hairs getting bristly at the touch. He smirked. “I was dying to touch you” 

“You almost died and that’s all you can think of?” you were scolding him but deep down your thoughts were the same. Such as that you locked the door before entering the bath area. That also didn’t go unnoticed by the man. 

“Of course! What if I died before claiming you mine one last time?” He put you on his lap inside the bath, wetting your whole uniform.

“Yunho! My clothes!”

“I’m gonna take them off anyways, bunny, you won’t need them to be dry” his lips attacked your neck, kissing, licking, biting, marking you like a hungry animal with his prey. “The last thing you should be right now is dry”. You threw your head back and enjoyed the touch of his lips on your skin. You had missed him dearly. 

His hands started to roam your body up and down and you could feel and see his erection underneath you. The cold bath water already welcoming the warmth in your body, cooling the fire that seemed to consume you both. 

Finally, his lips met yours, hungry and desperate, fighting against yours as he needed your air to live, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance. His hands held your hips strongly and started to rub your clothed core against his dick that you could feel hard even under the thick fabric of your pants. “Fuck baby, all I could think about while fighting those men was coming home alive so I could fuck you senseless” Yunho whispered in your ears as he kept you rubbing yourself on him. “Did you miss me, bunny? Did you miss my cock buried in your pussy?” You could only nod, too caught up in the feeling building at the pit of your belly. “Are you already close? Are you that cock starved that just rubbing your cunt on me is enough?”

You did not answer, not being able to form any sentence, everything coming out of your mouth being nonsense babbles and moans.

It didn’t matter how many times Yunho had touched you or made love to you, every single time felt like the first. He had a special power in making you putty in his hands just by touching you, whispering dirty things into your ears. He knew exactly how to get you worked up and desperate for him. 

But on his side it wasn't any different. Every time his nervous system felt the texture of your skin on his hands it was like he had never touched something so sublime, it was almost as if he could taste you in the tips of his calloused fingers. The roughness of your skin was something he could only feel by touching. The years of helping people and handling the apocalypse that became this earth marked up in your body, in the way your skin reacted to his touch, the scars of your own battles adorning you like you were a hand-crafted fabric. He loved each and every part of you. The visible and invisible signs of your strength, determination and will. He loved the strong and determined person you were. He could admire you for days but he always thought that nothing showed his love and adoration for you as the way he made love to you. 

And that’s exactly what he was planning to do. 

The man started taking your wet clothes away from your body, slowly, feeling every inch and bump from your skin. The shirt being the first one, the fabric clinging to your wet body like a vice but Yunho was more vicious than a simple shirt. 

Your chest, now fully in disposal, rising up and down with your uneven breath caught his eyes immediately and he listened to his intrusive thoughts and dipped his face in between them, smelling your scent and enjoying the warmth of your skin. 

You reached his face and grabbed with both hands, making him look at you. His eyes black, dilated with lust yet still covered in love. “I love you, Yunho” you spoke in a whisper, joining your foreheads. His smile was bright as he nodded and joined your lips in a slow and sweet kiss. The one he expects to feel the day you get to get married. “I love you too”. 

He kissed you again as his right hand enclosed what he could get of your left boob, squeezing and massaging it. You cut the kiss to breathe, throwing your head back. Yunho took advantage of your position to put your other breast in his mouth. Sucking it, biting it, and licking it. You were far too gone in the pleasure, your hips starting to move again on top of his dick, making him moan on your chest, the vibrations sending shivers down your body and concentrating in between your legs, your walls closing against nothing. 

Your boyfriend kept his assault on your chest for a few minutes, enjoying the way he could make you squirm just by playing with your boobs. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. 

When he was satisfied with the purple marks all over your chest he lifted you both up from the tub and took you to the bed he was previously on, sitting you and standing between your legs. He started kissing you again, his mouth and hands eager for you. “Baby please do something” you moaned against his mouth and grabbed his hands to put on top of your clothed core. “I need you"

“Your wish is my command, Princess” he gave you one last kiss before getting on his knees and taking your pants and panties off. The cool air hitting your labia and making you shiver in anticipation. He gently opened your legs more so he could be inside them, his lips ever so gently touching your inner thigh. Yunho was a strong man and he knew you loved when he used that on you, so he grabbed your legs and pulled you closer to his face, thighs resting on his shoulder as his lips finally touched where you wanted the most. His tongue licking from bottom to top, lapping every single drop of your wetness that rested there. To him, your taste was the same as dionysus wine should taste, bittersweet, intoxicating and addicting, he could live just with your taste. 

His fingers spread your labia open as he made sure to give a powerful suck at your clit, a particularly loud moan leaving your lips as you quickly covered them trying not to be too loud. He kept his assault at your clit, alternating between circling and licking up and down and left to right, spelling the whole alphabet against your little bundle of nerves that sent desperate signals to your brain, the fire in the pit of your stomach rising dangerously fast. When he felt you squirming against him, he held you down on the bed and lowered his attack to your hole, entering it with the tip of his tongue, provoking you, tickling your insides, making you want more. 

“Baby, fuck, please” you managed to moan out in midst all the pleasure. “Do something, please” he chuckled but nevertheless he gave what you wanted, what you needed, and started to fuck you with his tongue, thumb going to your clit and drawing circles to help with your pleasure. Your moans started to get louder and louder, your hands that covered your mouth were now attached to your boyfriend’s hair, pulling his face closer to your vulva. You were so lost in the feeling. The fire in your belly snapped and you came undone in his mouth, him never stopping his movements, riding you through your orgasm. His mouth then replaced his thumb and he inserted two fingers knuckles deep inside you. An obscene scream left you as you felt your belly tighten again.

“You’re doing so well for me, bunny. Such a good girl taking everything I give. Can you give me another orgasm, huh?” His deep voice praised you, his fingers going faster and faster inside you, your clit swollen and sensitive from all the pleasure and friction against it. Your voice betrayed you, a high gasp coming out instead as you nod your head. Legs shaking on top of his shoulder. 

Soon enough another orgasm waved through your body, leaving you already in shambles on top of him. Yunho helped you ride out your orgasm again, this time stopping his ministrations and getting on his feet again. 

He kissed your lips, making you taste yourself in his tongue, your mind dizzy with pleasure. “I could taste you all day, bunny. But my little friend down here needs a little help” you chuckled at his words and pulled him close to you again, locking his hips with your legs and rubbing your sensitive vulva on his dick. You hissed at the feeling, still sensitive with the previous orgasms. “Can you take me, Princess? Or are you still too sensitive?” 

“I can always take you, baby” you grabbed his dick in your hand and started to put the condom on him, torturing him with how slow you were sliding the piece and how sometimes you’d squeeze his member in the process. “After all, you were the one who got me addicted to your dick, isn’t it? Made me your cock slut”

“Fuck yn don’t talk like that” you smirked at his reaction and aligned the tip of his dick in your entrance. 

He slowly pushed inside you, the burning of the stretch making you lay your back flat on the bed, hands grabbing the sheets. To say Yunho was gifted with his dick was just a fact. He was just the right size for you but it was the girth that always made you cry. In a good way. In a delicious way actually. No matter how much he preps you, stretches you open with his fingers, nothing will compare to him slowly entering you until he’s balls deep inside you. He always waits for you to get used to his size and start moving by yourself. 

“You are made for me, baby bun. Your pussy was made for me, wasn’t it?” He pulled you by the back of your neck close to him, foreheads glued as your eyes stared at each other. His hips ever so deliciously moving at a punishing slow pace, getting as deep as he could. 

“Faster… please” you moaned and threw yourself back against the bed, back arching with the feeling. “Need… more…”

“Is my baby cock drunk already? Can’t even speak properly?” He mocked you but still gave you what you wanted, pistoning his hips against you, one of his hands going to your clit and the other wrapped around your neck. Your eyes rolled at the overstimulation, feeling so much at the same time. “Good god bunny you look so hot right now. Wish you could see yourself, all fucked out and cock dumb for me. Such a good girl. Go on baby, cum for me again. I know you can do it” you nodded desperately, a string of whispered yes leaving your lips as you felt the burning feeling take you over for the third time and snap a few minutes after. Your juices starting to fall down your legs, an obscene squelch sound reverberating in the room as you weren’t even able to moan anymore. 

Suddenly Yunho took his dick out of you and before you could even question it, he turned you around, bending you on the bed, legs falling wobbly from the edge. “I’m not finished yet, bunny” he spread your ass cheeks and entered you again, the new position and the sensitivity almost knocking you out, eyes wet with tears of pleasure as he went even faster this time. “If you give me another orgasm I’ll reward you. So be a good girl and cum again, okay?” You nodded, body too weak to resist. 

Yunho then slithered his hand under your chest and pushed you flush against his chest, his hand once again going up to wrap around your throat, getting you even more dizzy and light headed than before. 

“Yunho… p- please” your voice was hoarse and low, the next orgasm ready to snap at your pussy once again. 

The man wasn’t so far from coming himself, his cock twitching inside of you and you both could feel your highs approaching and his thrusts losing its rhythm. He let go of your chest and neck, letting you fall limp onto the bed as he grabbed your hips to get more stability. 

He kept thrusting, a bunch of profanities and praises to you leaving his mouth as he came, his hips losing its speed but going as deep as he could. His right hand reached your clit with some difficulty and started playing with it to help you reach your high as well, his hips never stopping its slow and deep thrusts. 

Within seconds you reached your fourth and last orgasm of the night. Your whole body aching in delicious pain and overstimulation. Little whimpers left your mouth and finally Yunho stilled inside of you and felt on top of you, his weight being comforting against your completely gone body. 

“I fucking love you so much” he whispered against your ear, leaving small ticklish kisses against it. 

“I fucking love you so much too, Yunho” you smiled against the bed, sighing happily. 

After a few minutes he lifted himself and got out of your body, going to the bathroom to take the condom out and clean himself. He damped a piece of cloth and came to clean you, careful not to hurt you. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to exist after today” you chuckled as he cleaned you, your whole body aching now that the pleasure was gone and the adrenaline went down. 

“I’m sorry, bunny. I went a little overboard” he gently kissed your shoulder blades, caressing your back. 

“No, I loved” you tried to move but your legs were still weak. He grabbed you and put you on top of the bed, throwing the wet cloth away before laying by your side and cuddling you. “I missed you so much” you whispered as you played with his fingers wrapped around your tummy. 

“I missed you too” he deep sighed and held you stronger. “I just want this to end so we can have a peaceful life” you nodded, your eyes getting heavy. “I can’t wait for us to be free and have a huge farm with many animals and our little kids running around and playing with no fear and worries in their life” Yunho nudged his face against your neck, scenting you and feeling his chest warm with love and hope. 

“Soon, baby. Soon” you said as you both drifted asleep, both dreaming with a better world and a future together. 

----------------------

"Have you guys seen yn?" Jongho asked his friends as he helped the hurt soldiers that came back that day, San hissing at the feeling of the antiseptic spray sting. Seonghwa just chuckled as he exchanged looks with San and Yeosang. "Again? Great! Now I'll have to clean all that wing again because Yunho can't hold his dick inside his pants". The man rolled his eyes as the others laughed at how predictable the couple was.

[twopoppies]

omg you're the HUYS writter?? Maaaan I love that one, been trying to find another one like it because yours left me wanting sooo much more. Do you have a fic rec post with similar works? You left me like an addict waiting for the next hit 😩😩

Hi! Yes, it's me. Thank you!!! And jeez. I wish I could direct you to a bunch, but the reason I wrote it is because so few people write that kind of smut anymore. Hmmm. Maybe I can give you a rec for the general vibe? Please know that many of these are old and some people will surely find them "problematic" these days. But they've got a similar kinky/inappropriate feeling to them IMO. Hopefully you won't know these yet:

Starting with the fic you mentioned (so glad you liked it!)

Hike Up Your Skirt (And Show Your World To Me) by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 18K) This one is mine, but I’m proud of it and I hope you like it. Make sure you read the tags on this one because it’s not your conventional fic and Louis is definitely super manipulative. But if you like the idea of secretary Harry in lingerie, CEO Louis, copious amounts of dirty talk, some power imbalance, and exhibitionism… this could be for you.

it's all for you, everything i do by @moonshinelouis (E, 2K) This short little fic is made up of one of my favorite tropes: Louis feigning disinterest while Harry begs for his attention. I really enjoy the way this author is able make their fics feel more than ��just” a PWP.

pep talk turned into a pep rally by sarcasticfluentry (E, 20K) is an OT5 orgy x 2 with one being Louis-centric and one being Zayn-centric. It was written in 2014, so it’s a tiny bit dated as far as characterizations are concerned, but this author always writes well and their smut is always really hot.

I’d Do Niall by alongthewatchtower (E, 8K) I know this fic isn’t for everyone and I also know it’s pure filth. But I love everything about it. Dirty talk, Harry in panties, overwhelmed Harry, Niall trying it and not knocking it, Dom Louis vibes…all the good stuff. LOL!

You'll Breathe Me In (You Won't Release) by LoadedGunn (E, 95K) Also known as The Driving Instructor fic. This has some of the best pacing I’ve read in a fic, some really well written BDSM smut, and characters I just really enjoy. I know it’s not for everyone. Read the tags.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by LoadedGunn (E, 8K) Oh man….I love this one. Harry in lingerie, role play, feminization, dirty talk. It’s got it all. It’s even a Christmas fic!

You Are The Blood by sarcasticfluentry (E, 176K) If you’re a Harry Potter fan, you’ve probably read this one. But if you haven’t, what are you waiting for? I don’t even like HP and I LOVED this fic. It’s a thrilling story and it’s full of ridiculously hot smut.

like how your hands feel me up and down by ballsdeepinjesus (E, 8K) First of all, this starts with Harry in a Snow White costume which, frankly, is all you need to grab my attention. Second of all, it’s super sexy and well paced and Harry’s in makeup and lingerie and….whew. You need to read it.

down on your knees, you don't look so tall by writtensoul (E, 3K) Harry is kind of a dick in this one, but it was written in 2013 at the height of the Frat Boy Harry narrative, so keep that in mind. It's otherwise really hot.

got my eyes on you by eleadore (E, 3K) Similar set up to the one above, but Harry isn't a dick. LOL!

Go With It by embro (E, 4K) i mean, how can you go wrong with: "You thought I was someone else and started making out with me in a club and you're really hot so I just kinda went with it and now we're heading back to your place and I don't know how to break it to you"

babydoll blues by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain (E, 112K) At last, the full-fledged, dirty, sugar baby fic we needed. Harry's character is so layered and so beautifully drawn, I just fell in love with him. Louis is sexy and powerful and also tender and sweet, just how I imagine the actual Louis to be. This author wrote one of my favorite fics of 2021, so I was really excited to dive into this one. They really know how to set a scene and draw you in to their characters. Scorching smut scenes, excellent use of side characters, and some angst that fully made me cry. Definitely worth a read!

precious little thing by mercutionotromeo / @hazlouquitefinished (E, 21K) I’ve read this one so many times…it’s got it all. This time the phone sex operator is Louis, and subby Harry is just beginning to realize his daddy kink.

redder than the devil by mercutionotromeo / @hazlouquitefinished (E, 5K) This short fic has so many kinks and so much smut that I probably could add it to 10 different rec lists. I love this author and hope they keep gifting us with their writing.

let’s talk about making love by istajmaal (E, 25K) Oh, phone sex operator fics, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

———

I must have more. But this is all I can think of off the top of my head.

[wikiangela]

oooh buddie death cast, bucktommy smut and barbecue?

buddie death cast answered here and here

bucktommy smut is the sequel to this fic where buck really wanted it to be smut but, clearly, it takes me forever to write one lol - it was started post-7x04, with only the promo of 7x05, so I'm sticking with that (yes, it's been a while lol) it's also getting long, I'm at 4k and they're just starting to take off clothes lol

a lil snippet:

“So I take it that it’s okay?” Tommy asks, and Buck’s so dizzy and breathless he barely registers it. “Huh?” he blinks as Tommy pulls away to look at him, a little amused but also almost… wonderstruck, analyzing, as if cataloging yet another piece of information he learns about Buck. Buck knows, because he does the same thing with every little thing he finds out about Tommy. He wants to know everything, and he can’t wait to keep learning. “Me calling you baby? That’s okay?” He’s smiling, and of course he has to know, based on Buck’s reaction, but he’s still making sure, and Buck thinks he’s going to melt into a puddle all over the backseat of the car right now. Tommy’s just so sweet and gentle, and thoughtful, and he always makes sure Buck’s good and comfortable, while also remaining confident and taking charge, and it- it makes Buck’s insides flutter. What a fucking man he somehow got. He doesn’t want to ever let him go. It’s only their second date, and he knows he’s getting ahead of himself in true Buck fashion, but he just- this one feels different. He really hopes it leads somewhere. “Tommy.” Buck rolls his eyes, and his face splits into a grin. “Of course it is. It’s much, much more than okay.” he gulps, eyes falling to Tommy’s lips again.  “Okay.” his lips curl into that smile – that easy, happy, excited smile that Buck’s loved since the moment he saw it for the first time, the one gracing Tommy’s face after he kissed Buck for the first time and asked if that was okay. “I figured. Just wanted to make sure.” he whispers, leaning in again, breath ghosting over Buck’s lips.  “That’s so hot, you know?” Buck breathes out, and kisses a chuckle off of Tommy’s lips.

and the barbecue one! I got lowkey stuck at the very beginning but I'm working on it lol - it was inspired by that one video of lou barbecuing shirtless bc 🥵

basically, buck and tommy hosting a barbecue at tommy's place, with the firefam and some of tommy's friends from harbor (and I'm obsessed with the idea of tommy being the person children just adore for no reason so tommy and kids feels!)

it's a little disjointed for now bc I started with madney, but then I started rewriting it bc I didn't like how i started it, but here's part of the first version with madney, it's gonna be better after rewriting lol (I have more notes than actual fic so far)

(this one was started before madney wedding, but i might change that a bit too lol)

“Where’s Tommy?” Jee immediately asks, and Buck can’t help a soft chuckle. Ever since Chim and Maddie’s wedding, Jee’s been obsessed with Tommy. He’s just the kind of person everyone’s drawn to, especially children. He can be such a goofball and he loves entertaining them. Buck thinks he’s going to be such a good dad one day, and that thought fills him with such fondness and excitement. “Should be in the backyard. Through there.” he points, directing all three of them, Jee just takes off running in the direction Buck pointed, Chim hurrying after her. “I’ll be right there.” he adds, mostly to Maddie, as he stays behind when he hears another car park in front of the house.

ask me about my wips <3

[decaflondonfog]

ten first lines ✨

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

i feel like i did this a few months back but with wips rather than posted works (?) i can't find any evidence of it because tumblr is a black hole lmao kiiiiiiiiiiiinda worrying because my memory is bad and i haven't written that much sooooo there's a chance i've done this exact thing before? i'm a mess, sorry!!!! thank you to my sweet @nv-md for tagging me on this though! i'm passing it along to @moondal514 @nanatsuyu @thetrojeans @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin and @jaywalkers, if you guys fancy doing it <3

a stark trail of blood on fresh snow | aftg, riko/neil, M, 12k

Neil Josten hadn’t been born with the gift of prophecy, but when he woke up abruptly in the middle of the night, he knew that was the last time he’d ever see the bed he’d been sleeping on for a few years now — ever since his mother disappeared into the dead of night, much like he was about to.

transferable skills | aftg, jeremy/jean, E, 11k

In the first six months of Jean Moreau wearing gold and red instead of black and red, the USC Exy team is given their first ever seven yellow cards.

the fear (of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer) | aftg, andrew/neil, M, 2k

The first time you meet him is on the best day of your life.

do not disturb the cats | aftg, kevin/andrew, E, 3k

They’ve been kissing against the kitchen counter for… well, Kevin’s lost track of time, really. 

growing pains | omgcp, bitty/parse, E, 50k

In the beginning, everything that can possibly go wrong goes wrong.

by wand or by knife | carry on, simon/baz, M, 1k

When Baz asked me not to make any plans for today, I didn’t question it. 

the benefits of a broken air conditioning unit and other summer lessons | aftg, andrew/neil, E, 3k

The curtains don’t quite reach the windowsill in the bedroom Neil and Andrew share.

a wreath of white lilies | aftg, kevin/allison, E, 4k

There is not enough waterproof mascara in the world, is the thought I’ve been playing inside my head, on a loop, for at least sixty hours now.

kaleidoscope | aftg, fem!andreil, M, 5k

Red. Blue. Green. Yellow. Purple.

celly | aftg, gen, T, 800 words

There are times in which Andrew thinks he could potentially enjoy Exy.

ooooooof. what have we learned? that i need to chill when it comes to both titles and first lines because some of these are stupidly LONG. my god. otherwise idk really? i think "do not disturb" and "benefits" have my favourite openers. the openers for both "benefits" AND "kaleidoscope" are motifs that get repeated all throughout the fic, it's fun to realise i've done that twice in a short period of time!!! "celly" in general i think is my fave of all of these fics and i'm very very fond of that line, even if i think it isn't super strong as an opening line. i can't find a pattern for these at all. some are very punchy, some are nothing, some are super exposition heavy... variety, baby!!!!!! lol

[teashoptiramisu]

Fluffy fanfic rec list

On one of my Discord servers people were talking about how people seem more likely to recommend angsty fic, so I decided to put together a fluff rec list, just for fun! This is gonna be a variety of fandoms, wordcount length, genres, etc. -- the common factor is I like ‘em and they turned up when I search “fluff” in my bookmarks. I’ll point out if any are nsfw

ATLA

see your son rising at last by aloneintherain --  ATLA -- 6.5k words -- Iroh & Zuko 5+1 things fic  

North by ryfkah -- ATLA -- 300 words -- short & sweet Appa POV fic

definitely not suspicious at all in the least by presumenothing -- ATLA -- 1k words -- post-canon Gaang shenanigans

All The Gentle Creatures by Haicrescendo -- ATLA -- 10k words -- animals love Zuko, he’s basically a Disney Princess

Yuri!!! On Ice

see you next level by verity -- YoI -- 1.5k words -- Yuuri, Viktor & Phichit get drunk & watch TV, Yuuri & Viktor continue to be the most adorably sappy couple

Friendship!!! Is Magic by afrai -- YoI & OHSHC -- 10k words -- Yuuri & Haurhi meet at a conference and become friends. Viktor & Tamaki make fools of themselves (but what else is new)

Howl’s Moving Castle (mostly bookverse)

Second Time Lucky by labellementeuse -- HMC -- 5.5k words -- Howl & Sophie plan their wedding (lol i spelled that “weeding” on the first try... also accurate). As you might expect for these two it doesn’t go without some hiccups.

Could it be magic? by SpiritedYoungLady -- HMC -- 500 words -- Howls comes back from night with the rugby club, and Sophie is unamused

Fulllmetal Alchemist (mostly bhood/manga)

All That Describes a Joyful Heart by anthrop  -- FMA -- 3k words -- Hohenheim & Trisha cook together during a winter storm & they are simply TOO ADORABLE. Features some Xerxian cultural headcanons inspired by Nowruz (Persian New Year) traditions!

And They Were ROOMMATES by Turbulent_Muse -- FMA -- 30k words -- Modern AU in which college student!Ling moves into a haunted house, but since the rent is too good to pass up, he decides to try and befriend the demon. Greedling friendship & adventure fic.

Science for People Who Hate Science by Tierfal -- FMA -- 66k words -- Royed Modern AU, but even if you dislike that ship you might want to give this one a chance; it’s really more of an origfic about two characters losely inspired by Roy & Ed. They run a goofy educational youtube channel and are two dorks in love. Al shows up to make fun of them sometimes. It’s a good time!

The Sleeping Horror of Whiskerford by Eltea -- FMA -- 3.5k words -- another modern AU, in which the gang (Ed, Al, Winry, Riza, Roy, Hughes) plays D&D. Worth it for Ed’s character sheet alone, but overall just a hilarious & fun time.

A Clowder of Cats by Batsutousai -- FMA -- 4k words -- post-canon (a more-or-less canon universe fic for once!), Al settles down and adopts a bunch of cats (AS HE DESERVES)

Teen Wolf

the butt is a gift by lazulisong -- Teen Wolf -- 1.5k words -- Stiles is pinned to the couch by cats. I think this is part of a larger AU but tbh I don’t care: Stiles, cats, relatable dilemmas, what more do I need?

When the Bough Breaks by The Feels Whale (miscellea) -- Teen Wolf -- 12k words -- A bit of a weird one, but sometimes I like my TW fic weird. post-canon-ish/canon-divergence with endgame Sterek; Stiles is on the outs with Derek’s pack until they learn that he’s adopted a baby, and then they’re suddenly all over to dote on her. I actually really mostly liked this for Stiles’ single parent struggles and (platonic) relationship with the baby’s birth mother, the werewolf stuff & romance was cute but mostly incidental.

Misc fandoms

it's a new craze by attheborder -- Good Omens -- 5k words -- Crowley & Aziraphale start an advice podcast

Hot Springs and New Beginnings by CorundumBleu -- Hollow Knight -- 3k words -- in a good ending universe, Quirrel, the Knight, and The Last Stag relax at a hot springs and discuss hopes for the future. I recommend looking through CorundumBleu’s other HK fics as well -- there’s a couple other good fluff fics in there and some most angsty but still amazing stories! (I’m biased: CB is my sister & I helped edit these, but still, I think they’re great!)

Sufficient by atheilen -- The Goblin Emperor -- 2k words -- deaged!Maia; in which everyone and particularly Beshelar shows how much they care for and cherish Maia.

Sick Day by avg (AnxiousEspada) -- The Murderbot Diaries -- 4k words -- Overse & Arada are sick; Ratthi and later Murderbot visit to help them out. “To everyone’s surprise, a feverish Overse is SecUnit approved humor-fuel.” (P.S. if you like this fic consider checking out my sequel to it!)

Thrilling Night! Romantic Adventure at the Video Rental Store! by Masu_Trout --  Undertale -- 2.5k words -- wonderful Outsider POV of an employee at a video rental store who gets the admittedly uncertain priviledge of helping Alphys and Undyne pick out a movie to rent for their date night. I’m still not over the movie they end up picking, OMG.

Gonna add a reblog with BNHA, Natsuyu, Gravity Falls, and maybe some HP recs tomorrow.

Also, if you like these fics and know of more like them, feel free to let me know! I’m always taking fic recs (I’m slow to get around to them but I WILL save your recs for later) :P

[mrs-monaghan]

The hell you mean, we don't talk about Yoonmin. I don't talk about Vmin. Vmin have me sweating sometimes. I'm not gonna lie. Tae be staring at JM like he's ready to eat him. Just watch the Dynamite dance practice during JM's solo. Tae for real gasped when he looked at JM and could not take his eyes off him. I don't blame him. JM in those loose jeans and that loose grey shirt, with his fluffy blond hair and licking his lips too. Damn, I don't blame Tae. I mean he did describe JM's eyes as temptation. Then I'm like naw, they're just best friends, then Tae drops a song about bring in love with his best friend. And then I'm like no way, he means another best friend or its just for the show. Then he goes on record saying it was a personal song and Jimin is his ONE AND ONLY best friend. Then I suddenly find it hard to swallow & my collar getting tighter. LOL. Then I'm nah, its all good, Jikook real. Then I see JM post he's watching The Notebook for like the 7th time during his recovery and a few days later on Valentines Tae requests JM's favorite song, Nothing by Bruno Major where the song talks about watching the Notebook for the 17th time. And then I'm like ain't no way, like hello, JM gave JK a hickey, FOCUS. Oh and JM calling Tae My Love and not long ago Tae played a snippet of a song in his car & posted it on his IG story & the song says My Love & mentions 4 am (which is Vmin time cause of Tae's 4 o'clock) also mentions stars, driving, etc and Vmin did say they go on long drives together & watch the stars together. So yeah, I don't talk about vmin. They scare me. LOL I have just come to the conclusion all of BTS members are in love with JM at one point or another. LOL

I'm kidding honestly, I am confident in Jikook, but Tae acts sus as hell toward Jimin and you all know I'm right. Even with how much he's been talking about JK, hell no, not even comparable to how Tae acts toward JM. They all wanna eat Jimin.

I......... just woke up anon. I'm not mentally equipped rn. Nope nope nope.

On second thought, let's talk about it.

Jimin is Hellen of Troy. Agreed. Sometimes they all be fighting for his attention. Facts. They treat him like an artifact. True. (Which is why its so funny to me when Army shit on Jimin when the Tannies worship the ground he walks on. Watch enough of their content and tell me he's not the unofficial BTS leader)

Now idk about no notebook or Bruno something. All those things they have in common that u listed, I will take your word it.

But first let me clarify why we don't talk about Yoonmin. Suga is probably super gay or bi/pan. But there is more proof of him being interested in men than women. But then he also says his tongue can drive both sexes mad so there's that. Anyway, Suga has been caught in 4k eyeing all his members. Even JK 👀 Suga is me and I am him 😂😂😂 but the reason we don't talk about Yoonmin is because JK sees that shit and hates it.

JK is not threatened by Vmin. He's reacted to all members doing skinship with Jimin, yes including V. But its not that often. And definitely not as strongly as with Minimoni and Yoonmin. JK alot of the times will chuckle at their antics or ignore them all together. Cant say the same for Yoonmin though.

The other thing u mention. Jimin calling V my love or baby. That's not... anon that's not idk...I wouldn't put too much weight on this one. Even international fans do this with their bestfriends. And he did the baby one to comfort V and Jimin comforts all members. They go to him for comfort coz he is good at being there for them. Plus he's always babied Taekook from jump. (JK being less receptive of the two since he dont like Jimin to treat him like the maknae he is)

About V looking at Jimin like he wants to eat him he does this with all the members. I recently shared this Vmon post i mean.. isn't that what u mean by him looking at Jimin like he wants to eat him? And then this compilation where again, all members

And then you're saying their moments are fire? Have you seen Taejin? I'm sorry but that ship in my opinion has all V ships beat.

V and Jimin taking long rides together, I have never heard about this but didn't we see Vhope take a long ride together ITS2? Did they take a trip with both their families? I've never seen Vmin do that 🤔

Maybe in the beginning Vmin were super close and shit Anon, but damn. They done drifted apart over the years. More especially recently. I do not see the same Vmin from before I'm sorry. I have a higher chance of believing Jihope is real before I ever buy into Vmin.

My bottom line is, all those things you're talking about can be copy pasted to every. single. member. When it comes to V he does this shit with all of them. Yeah, he called Jimin his favourite but is that even the case anymore? Idk anon. I do not and have never found Vmin to be the least bit suspicious. A member won't be sus to me if they do the same thing with everyone else. And I like to pay attention to JK when it comes to these things. He's the one you look for to know if someone is sus or not. And JK just isn't bothered by Vmin.

[mostlymaudlin]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

ty for the tag @sillyunicorn :D this is cute and also interesting. i tag @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade @fortheloveofexy @nanatsuyu @justadreamfox @jaydreams @halfpintpeach

im actually going to do my Personal 5 first because that's what i want above the read more cut 😂 no one is escaping looking at my babies.

Thorns (E), 18k, andreil // a post-canon fic where andrew and neil cope with doing a long distance relationship when u both have fatal levels of attachment issues lol. i spent a stupid long time on this fic for the word count, but there is love in every single word. i like this universe bc it's what i want for post-canon andreil. no one gave them the tools for this shit, but i love the idea that they will always figure out how to be together, even if its messy.

No Turning Back (E), 31k, andreil // this is perhaps recency bias, but i think this is the best thing ive ever written. i have a hard time summarizing it.. but it's an au where the conflict is almost entirely in andrew's head, which of course means he Causes Many Problems. i actually built this fic out from Andrew's fucked up internal journey, which was cool for me -- like, the main plot was developed to fit his character arc. i think that's probably not rocket science or unique but it was my first time doing it that way!

We Can Live Forever (T), 46k, andreil // i used to not like hs aus and then i wrote a huge one lol. its childhood best friends-lovers, and centered on this ridiculous lip sync serenade fundraiser ?? i made them all dance. a lot. sometimes its serious, but its mostly very silly. i wrote it w the intention of giving people that "read until 4am screaming into ur pillow bc cute aggression" feeling that so many fics have given me, and the feedback ive gotten implies ive succeeded, so im rly proud of that!!

Stoner AU (E), 21k, snowbaz // i'm cheating a bit because this is a series, but i almost consider this thing to be like a collection of sitcom episodes lol. it's a normal au, simon is a weed guy and baz buys from him and also falls in love w him. theres a lot of penny and shep and its all just very FUNNY imo. and they are all so fucking devoted to each other in kind of unhinged ways. i love rereading these fics.

I'll Come Back To You (T), 6.9k, andreil // ok, for 1: that's the exact word count. every time i fix typos on rereads i have to edit it to preserve the wc. but 2: this fic is Not Silly or Smutty LOL. it's probably my plottiest/most serious fic in some ways -- it deals w, like, multiple dimensions ?? and amnesia. and loneliness. i'm proud of the ambiguity, because i tend to be a writer that punches you in the face with The Theme. this one leaves a lot for the reader to figure out (to the dissatisfaction of some commenters lol), but i like that you have to think about it a bit.

ok, AO3 Top 5 under the cut!

all of these are andreil, because aftg fandom is a lot bigger than carry on </3.

boyfriend privileges (T), 4k // i should not have been surprised that this did the numbers, but i was kind of shook when my ao3 inbox blew up like never before. it's fanfic catnip -- a 5+1 post-canon with resolvable angst interspersed with soft moments. i wrote it in like 2 days and didn't edit, and aint that just the way of ao3 lol.

flashes of intimacy (T), 7k // this is a series of fifteen <500 word fics that i add to pretty often, so it also makes sense that it's got a lot of readers! ive always been proud of my ability to write short, so it makes me happy that it's up here. it wld probs be #6 on my personal rating.

Inside Thoughts (T), 1.5k // andrew gets his wisdom teeth out and is a goober about it. one of my first aftg fics -- i think it's up here bc it's almost a year old. i am not passionate abt it tbh, i wrote it kind of as a joke one night while i was high lmfao

Do Not Disturb (T), 2k // another of my first aftg fics that i kind of dont care much about hahaha. it's another catnip situation, a post-canon moment where neil panics & unconsciously calls andrew, similarly to how he does in canon. and then they r soft <3

Tequila Sunrise (M), 4k // i know people love this one -- it's also my most bookmarked. it's fun!! drunk neil!! but i almost can't read it anymore lol. there's some prose im proud of in there, but there's also some lazy characterization choices i made bc i had no idea it would get so many hits. its hard for me as the Characterization Guy to reconcile that hahaha.

ok as usual that was long-winded as hell. i love 2 talk abt writing :) also i feel bad 4 the lack of snowbaz representation here lol, but i think that i'm 1. better at writing andreil and 2. have gotten a lot better at writing while i was unemployed the last few months. i think a lot abt taking snowbaz for another whirl now, but consider: then i wouldn't get to write abt Andrew Minyard :(

[tired-biscuit]

So kiba decides to “accidentally” video tape him and his longtime gf getting steamy one night, and when she finds the video she’s livid but then she gets super turned on and they get it on again while watching the tape🥵 and knowing kibas careless ass the video would probably leak too😭😭

lol I’ve had this drabble idea for a minute idk if it’s too much or not!

oh love, it definitely ain't too much!! thoughts are all under the cut; they're pure chaos tho <3

18+ mdni, fem!reader

i feel like he'd ask if he could record you doing the dirty like as a joke at first (cos he ain't a bastard that would tape you without your consent), but when you'd tell him yes, that you've been together for so long that you suppose you'd be fine with it, he'd be like "wait... hmmmm" and would keep it in the back of his mind for so long you'd literally just forget about it.

however, he wouldn't forget. no way, it's something new and kinky, of course horny™️ kiba wouldn't.

so one day he'd just whip his phone out and would place it as conveniently as he's able across the room. watching the video later, you'd literally be able to see his lil' face focusing so hard; brow furrowed and the bridge of his nose all crinkled up while those fat fingers of his keep hitting the camera as he keeps readjusting it dskfjdklfjdkslfj HE'S SUCH A CLUMSY DORK AHAHAHA

he'd drag you into the bedroom, all eager like a little puppy. fondle you all nicely, kissing you way more than he usually does; taking his time with you all slow and steady which is so not the norm for him. he'd undress you so fucking slow, would run his hands all over your body - warming up your skin with every touch. you'd start asking him what's up and he'd just shush you instead.

he'd literally slam the living fuck out of you in that same steady pace. like, he'd make you pull all these adorably flustered faces while pounding into you from behind, making sure you'd be facing the damn phone even though you'd have no clue about it. he'd drag the sluttiest of moans out of your throat; would put in all the effort he's able. almost like he's making a show out of it, hmm?

also, yeah. he'd definitely jerk it to the vid so many times. just imagining him stroking his dick to a vid of us makes me all sdjkfhdsjlkfklds.... ffs, he'd be so in love.

you'd find it on his phone right in the middle of his gallery, unlocked and everything (careless bastard, of course) whilst searching for an actually decent pic (by decent i mean that it isn't completely blurry for once, yay) that he took of you a few weeks back and that you wanted to post on instagram. instead, you find your fine ass getting slammed by your oh, so lovely bf in 4K.

literally, he's obliterating your pussy. just watching yourself being so thoroughly ravaged by a beast like him is enough to make you hot all over.

and when you confront him about it after he's done with his shower, a frying pan in your hand because you're so fucking ready to kill him, he just gives you the stupidest look, like, "what...? i asked if you'd be cool with it a while back, didn't i?"

you're pointing the pan at him, ready to swing and losing your shit, "IDIOT, YOU HAVE TO ASK WHEN YOU PLAN TO RECORD, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE ACTUALLY BEING SERIOUS!"

he's a moron, he really is. you argue for a bit but with the passing minutes and the evident confusion that just won't leave his face, you realize that he actually meant no harm with it. his innocent stupidity becomes funny as you sort it out. he apologizes, of course and you watch the video while trying not to hide your face into his t-shirt from sheer and utter embarrassment, even though he's more than happy to show you his favourite parts.

"look, i made you cum so fuckin' good here! i love the noises you make when you cum, baby..." - he knows the damn vid by heart, bless him.

and he really does love the noises. as you sit on his lap, wrapped in his embrace and with your eyes glued to the screen of his phone, you feel him growing hard underneath you. steady and profound. he's just that attracted to you and he really does love you so much. it's almost cute in a way.

but you're still so pissed at him.

so, you pour your frustrations out by sucking the literal soul out of his body. you let him record it all; this time with full knowledge of what you're getting yourself into.

and when you push him onto the bed, making that fat cock of his all snug between your tight walls, you make sure to flip the camera and turn him into the star of the show for a little while, too.

all vain and arrogant, kiba is more than happy to oblige by smiling the prettiest, most dazed grin that grows so fucking big as soon as you start to bounce.

ALSO PLS LMFAOOOOOOO, HE'D DEF LEAK IT COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT; WOULD SEND IT TO THE GROUPCHAT INSTEAD OF A MEME JDSHFJKDSHFJK

YOU'D JUST HEAR A LITTLE "oh, fuck" AND WOULD START GETTING READY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH THAT FUCKIN PAN, BYE

[fonulyn]

fon’s 2022 in fic

i debated with myself for a while whether this post is worth making because it’s hours of work for a small handful of notes but i’m a list-maker by nature so here we go :’D this was also a weird year because i went and polished up all of my old tumblr ficlets to post them on ao3, so this is a huge mess of new fic, old fic i edited, old ficlets i mashed together and edited, old ficlets which i added thousands of words to so maybe they count as new fics after all, and the like, lol. 

so i’m not even going to try and give an estimate of how many words I wrote this year. not as much as I wanted. probably more than i feared. 

under the cut you’ll find links to fics including;

29 Chris/Leon

33 Piers/Leon

7 ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

4 Krauser/Leon

1 Krauser/Leon/Chris

1 Chris/Jill

here we go;

Chris/Leon

(what can I do now except) see this through | M | 4k | Leon has what he thinks are unrequited feelings for Chris and he tries to drown them in some trusty vodka. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work.

found a way to let you go | T | 2,6k | Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes breaking up is the best thing for everyone involved. This is one of those times.

welcome home | M | 900w | Chris comes home from a mission and gets a nice welcome.

always meant to be | G | 600w | Chris tries to set Claire and Leon up, but in the end gets set up himself.

if I sing you a love song | T | 1,3k | Chris finds his old guitar and plays for Leon.

to have and to hold (to care and to carry) | T | 1,2k | Three times Chris carried Leon and one time Leon carried Chris.

(you know how to make me) feel so good | E | 1,2k | They have sleepy midnight sex.

blow your mind | E | 1k | Chris has never sucked a dick before. Leon volunteers to help.

a little help | G | 430w | Claire is tired of Chris and Leon doing nothing about the big dumb crushes they obviously have for each other.

smooth operator | T | 1,1k | Leon hits on Chris while drunk. The next morning he expects to be embarrassed to death, but it works out better than he feared.

bent like a pretzel | T | 650w | Leon is the flexible one, but Chris is still the one who manages to get his foot in his mouth. 

you get what you give | T | 2,6k | They get to grow old together and be there for each other.

the art of a good shot | G | 1,2k | Chris and Leon use their shooting scores as a totally-not-awkward way to flirt. (No-zombies AU)

sail these uncharted seas (of awful attempts at flirting) | T | 900w | A Halloween party, a sailor and a pirate, plus some bad bad flirting.

men in tights | T | 1,1k | Another Halloween with questionable costumes.

try to go to sleep | T | 1k | When they get back from China, and Chris doesn’t sleep for the first three weeks, Leon doesn’t really know what to do.

a little bit of desperation | E | 1,7k | Chris gets hit with sex-pollen. Thankfully Leon is there to help.

chasing your direction | T | 1k | Leon’s old friends visits, and Chris can’t stop himself from being jealous.

bruises and promises | T | 700w | Chris gets himself hurt and Leon is angry.

some things never change | T | 870w | Leon takes care of Chris.

simple things | T | 500w | Chris has a thing for Leon wearing glasses.

the real legends | T | 656w | They survive another rough mission, together.

you are the one | G | 1k | Chris is insecure and Leon reassures him there’s no reason to be.

what could be | G | 1,1k | A baby is left on their doorstep, and they spend a day with her.

at three in the morning | T | 1,4k | There is only one bed. Finally.

won’t you take me back to paradise | E | 1k | Leon gives the best head Chris has ever had.

in the mood for a dance | G | 1,5k | Claire forces Chris and Leon to take dancing lessons.

got some places to see | G | 900w | Chris, Leon, Claire and Jill go on a roadtrip.

something solid, something good | T | 1,4k | Chris is invited to spend Christmas with Leon’s family.

Piers/Leon

three words to last forever | M | 3k | Leon is too slow and gets slashed by a monster. (”choose your own ending” with three possible endings, two with MCD, one without)

you can see me through | M | 5k | Leon and Piers get together after Piers returns from his trip through time to Raccoon City.

call me what you like but I'm a fool (forever falling for you) | G | 1k | They may be playfighting over a pillow but really, they're just happily married.

only the courage to continue counts | E | 93k | RE4 AU: Leon isn’t sent to rescue the president’s daughter alone, but with a partner. He’s not so sure what to think of this Nivans guy. (features also past Krauser/Leon)

a new life | T | 7,4k | They finally get their long awaited baby.

heal the scars and change the stars | M | 12k | Even though they’ve broken up, the feelings haven’t gone anywhere. Maybe getting back together was always going to happen. 

let the walls come down | M | 6,6k | Piers gets shot, Leon confronts Ada, and some secrets come out.

make me believe in tomorrow | E | 8,7k | Piers’s sister visits, and they talk about their plans for the future. 

and together we’ll make it | T | 4,2k | Leon finds an infected baby, and somehow he and Piers end up keeping her.

carpe diem (seize the day) | E | 2,6k | They wake up one morning with boobs and vaginas instead of their dicks. They decide to make the best of it.

live for today and for tomorrow | T | 6k | Leon almost dies from a stab wound, Piers panics, but at least it ends happily and they finally get together after all the pining.

already taken | G | 800w | Piers wakes up at the hospital and thinks he’s hitting on the gorgeous nurse.

happiness is made not found | E | 7k | Piers asks Jake to be his best man, Leon makes a confession to Sherry, Chris is a good bro, and Piers and Leon get to enjoy domesticity together.

give me hope, make me strong | T | 1,4k | Piers and Leon seek shelter in a small cabin during a snowstorm. It would almost be romantic if Piers wasn’t bleeding so much.

the problem with dishwashers | M | 1,4k | Piers promises to fix Leon’s dishwasher but ends up “fixing” Leon’s “dishwasher”.

try a little tenderness | T | 1,7k | Piers is sick, cold meds make him a little loopy, and Leon is there to take care of him.

breathe, trust, and see what happens | E | 5,9k | They have some summer fun, get a big scare, talk retirement, and cheat at Mario Kart.

for hope I’d give my everything | T | 1,9k | Piers and Leon bond over surviving being infected.

safely away from the world | G | 1,1k | Leon wakes up miserable and in pain. It’s made a little better when he gets quality snuggles.

as dust settles | T | 1,2k | Piers and Leon get stuck in a basement under a collapsed building. Leon might be bleeding, but he still finds enough energy to flirt.

no more coffee | G | 550w | When Piers drinks coffee, he gets insufferable, and Leon is the one who has to deal with him.

close your eyes and you will find | T | 2,6k | Leon has trouble sleeping. Somehow Piers helps just by being there.

gonna show you tonight | E | 3,2k | Leon has a bit of a competency kink. And maybe a tiny thing for Piers’ arms. Good thing Piers is always willing to indulge him.

you are the question and the answer am I | E | 2,8k | Piers calls Leon cute, Leon meets Piers’s dog, and they have some sleepy sex. All the good things.

a taste of something more | E | 1,5k | Piers can’t sleep, so Leon helps him work off some tension.

exactly what it seems like | T | 1k | Chris accidentally ends up with Leon’s phone and finds out Leon is dating Piers.

the worst kept secret | T | 1,6k | Piers is a clingy drunk and in the morning doesn’t even remember how embarrassing he was. Good thing Leon loves him anyway.

yee haw! | E | 1,3k | Ride ‘em cowboy; aka Leon wears only a cowboy hat and a gun belt for Piers. They both have their fun.

and I was loving you | T | 1,9k | Five times Piers gets a little kiss on the nose, and one time Leon does.

(like a thief) you stole my heart | T | 3,6k | Glimpses of their relationship developing throughout the years as they grow more and more in love.

the sweetest gift | G | 1k | Piers brings Leon chocolate for Valentine’s Day.

you gotta take care, it’s a new romance | G | 700w | Leon can’t sleep. Piers is there for him.

Piers/Leon endgame, starts off with friends-with-benefits Chris/Leon

to feel again | M | 19k | After Chris accidentally breaks Leon’s heart, Leon is fully prepared to nurse his bruised feelings alone. He’s less prepared for the way Piers is apparently dead set on being there for him to help him through it. He’s the least prepared for when he realizes he might just get his happy ending, after all.

ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

sweetly seduced to sleep | T | 1k | Leon gets tricked into healthy sleeping habits.

last chance garage | M | 8k | Chris, Leon and Piers try to make sense of over a decade worth of yearning. Somehow, they make it work.

all those little moments | T | 1,8k | They get to enjoy some domestic, carefree happiness, for once.

where the past meets the future | T | 4,8k | Chris and Piers find out how exactly Leon became an agent.

your arms open wide | G | 850w | Piers comes home exhausted.

picture this | T | 1k | Piers accidentally sends near-nudes to Chris instead of Leon.

let the water wash away | T | 800w | The three share a soft moment in the shower.

Krauser/Leon/Chris

it's gone so fast | E | 2k | Chris keeps getting invited into Krauser and Leon's bed. Inevitably, Chris develops feelings.

Krauser/Leon

made to remind | E | 1,6k | Leon says the wrong name in bed. Krauser reminds him who he belongs to.

then, now and always | E | 2,2k | Krauser does not do feelings. Instead he flees.

my fall will be for you | M | 2,8k | Krauser and Leon almost get a happy ending.

better with you | T | 600w | Krauser makes a sudden confession.

Chris/Jill

ravishing | E | 4k | Jill deserves to be worshipped like the goddess she is, Chris gets the honor of doing just that. (aka feelsy smut lol)

here’s to hoping for a better 2023 :3