#lol i def recommend looking up all these songs

[unclemoriarty]

🎶✨when you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶

hmmm off the top of my head:

Bewitched by Laufey

Telepathy by BTS

House We Share by Chance Emerson

Winter by Vivaldi

9 by Sleeping at Last

thanks for the ask!

[txtmetonight]

Me and My Husband

call summary ⋆ ★ You’ve had your lives' fulfillment of being contempt–or so you think. Because with Choi Beomgyu by your side, you ponder upon the thought a bit more than you should.  

pairing *. * Choi Beomgyu x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★  Angst, Fluff?

warnings *. * Misogyny, Drinking, Pregnancy, Bad Grammar, Crude grammar

call duration⋆ ★ 5.6k

a/n*. * I know that there are different interpretations of this song so this is mine. Also, I got inspired by the novel Kim-Jiyoung born in 1982. It's such a good book, I def recommend it. And kinda sorry for the end. I suppose I rushed it a bit. Anyways, hope you enjoy lol.

taglist ⋆ ★  @kflixnet//@oreoqueen // @woncheecks//@probably-too-obssessed // @matcha-binz 

The Mitski Diaries Masterlist

I steal a few breaths 

From the world for a minute 

Sigh. 

In a working economy, where prices were rising, and work employment was decreasing, you were able to stabilize yourself against the rising tides of the world. An eight-to-four job that consisted of going outdoors to capture the photographs your management team had assigned you to click or either staring at a high-tech screen, a large white cubicle littered with little stickers and important reminders surrounding you.  

It was a mediocre job that paid just well enough, but you were contempt. For now, at least. When you were old enough to really know what you wanted to be in the future, you would daydream about meddling in the medical field, and thinking about it further made you conclude that you wanted to take up a profession in psychology. 

But sometimes after a dose of too much beer, you wonder how you got to take up photography and you find yourself on the web, wobbly fingers searching up how much medical school costs before you’re thrown back into reality looking at numbers that made you dizzier.  

Your father and mother did their best to support you, but it was hard when your mother had your younger brother and house chores plus small work, she took up to make extra cash, and your father had to manage a small convenience store that did particularly well on some days. If someone asked you how your life was before college, you would respond with a monotone “It was alright”.  

Because honestly, it was. You shared a room with your grandma until she passed while your younger brother had his own, your school was far away and when it was cold you froze walking there, and your father and mother would fight for a while when he came home drunk. Yet still you lived a happy life, nevertheless.  

And over the years you’ve learnt several valuable lessons. First, when going an interview, it’s best to wear the brightest lipstick you’ve ever known, and your hair should be tied up to a high ponytail if you want to increase your chances of being picked, especially in an interview with other women. Though you probably won’t be picked, not when you find out that even a single man was also competing.  

Second, a good night of drinking after a long day is nice but don’t overdo it, or the already less pay you get will be cut slack from however many hours you will miss that morning.

And third, the best boy you’ve ever met will be on a class retreat to the mountains for the Badminton club during your college experience.  

A club filled with ten other male members and two other female members; served as a stress reliever after exam weeks and piling schoolwork. It was fun playing matches and though most members of the club reasoned that they were slacking off on you because you were new and not because you were a girl, you thoroughly enjoyed it.  

The retreat was a plan that was created on a whim, one second you were drinking wine with the girls in one of their dorms, and in the other, all fourteen members including you were on a bus driving up a steep road, playing some old nostalgic songs. Just days before, a new member had joined, and at first, he hadn’t piqued your interest as much, but when he helped you grab your duffel bag from the top, your gaze stayed on his face a bit longer than usual.  

Choi Beomgyu was born on March 13, 2001, he had AB blood, he housed a parrot named Toto and he had you wrapped around his finger by the end of the five-day, four-nights trip (which was a bit pricey for a bunch of college students). 

And on the last day of the excursion, he had kissed ever-so softly against the walls of the cabin, while everyone else was out at a lake.  

And then I'll be nothing forever 

And all of my memories 

And all of the things I have seen 

Will be gone 

With my eyes with my body with me 

“Sunghoon, was definitely holding an affair with that short girl from section three! Why’d you think they both keep leaving the break room together?” 

You strain a smile towards Kazuha and hold back a small exhale, instead focusing on the small strokes of color on your nails. A lilac shade. “I–I suppose? I don’t even know who the short girl is?” And after a second you add, “Nor Sunghoon. I don't even know Sunghoon.” Your heart thrums harder in your chest at the sudden emotional turmoil, that was honestly kind of stupid. But still, you laugh sourly, gazing at the girl through your lashes, her own lips dejectedly turning into a frown.  

“I had forgotten you had quit.” She quietly murmurs, taking the brush from your hands to paint your left hand. Her eyes wander over the expanse of your shared room, and they linger too long on a portrait of your husband by your bedside table, eyebrows furrowing at the familiarity of the object.  

You refuse to look, not when her face falls as she realizes with a tiny chuckle going back to your hands. It was a brown frame that held a picture that you took of your partner when you both were still dating (now married) and it used to sit near your mousepad, behind your daily cup of coffee, and in the small space you used to be offered.  

You and Beomgyu dated for five years, one year in your last years of college and the other four years while you both worked. And all those four years, you’ve kept that same picture of your lover at the same spot, and at the same time on the clock you would stare at his utterly handsome face before being hulled back to work yet again.

It wasn’t a lie that you missed your job, and you spent your time at the kitchen countertop mulling over it, now more than ever as you scroll through your co-workers' feeds and watch them with large, widened eyes as they post the carefully edited photos they had taken or just fun gatherings with their peers.  

That night you hold a staring contest with the ceiling of your bedroom, tracing the moving shapes your brain seems to formulate due to the pitch-black gloom. The presence of a warm body keeps you grounded as you wander to the depths of “what ifs”, just toeing that line before stepping back out in fear of a nasty wormhole that would bring you to tears.  

“Hey baby, why are you still awake?” 

An arm gets thrown over your waist while a voice tears you away just as you start to turn your attention to the blades of the fan above, and you look to your side to see Beomgyu having his eyes shut with his lips dangerously close to your neck.  

“I dunno, just thinking. How was work today?” Your question and just for a second you ease into his warmth, preparing yourself for a story time just like how you would when your mom was reading you a fairytale to help you sleep. Beomgyu goes silent for a second and you’re afraid that he’s drifted to sleep but he drowsily murmurs, “It was tiring. Mr. Kang made me do a stack of reports and read a bunch of blah blah blah”  

You scrunch your nose at his wording and envelop your fingers with the hand that’s placed on the skin of your stomach. “Is that so? Well, I wish that tomorrow is better, no?” He nods and gives you a small kiss on your cheek, eyelashes tickling your skin when he blinks. “I really hope...you would wish that for me, baby? You're so sweet. Today was probably easy for you, right? I too wish to take a couple of days off”  

He jokes before snuggling into you even more and you ponder how well he could cuddle a wooden board...because that’s what you are right now. Stiff as a board. You gulp and clutch his hands tighter to force your eyes to close. Your “job” at home was not easy. You had to make sure that the laundry was done, that the dishes were clean and that Beomgyu got his food on time because he was always grouchy after a long day at work.  

Exactly seven months ago, Beomgyu on behalf of you being his wife had told you to quit your job. You suspect that it was because of the pestering you heard over his phone when he doesn’t think you’re nearby, the voices of the people in his life wondering about your duties as a wife. But in his perspective, the job he was asking you to leave had you always complaining and coerced you to be awake until three sometimes. In your eyes it was boring-old work that you cherished, and the same job that you held many heart-felt memories of.

Perhaps that doesn’t matter when you must take care of your husband.  

And so, you had taken his decision to leave a resignation letter at your boss's desk just a few days after the talk. Many asked you if it was because you were pregnant, but you just smiled and shook your head, saying that your husband needed you. That day he had taken you out to a fried chicken place with soju on the side as a congratulations party that you were finally broken from your chains. You were finally a free bird.  

And the cries that you let out over the spicy chicken were a sign of pure happiness and not the distress that roared instead of your gut. 

But now as you lay awake, eyes slowly burning with heavy sleep, you promise yourself just for a night of peaceful sleep that all the things you’ve seen, all the memories you have about “work” will be gone on for your own sake.  

Being cooped up in the house, you decided to take a stroll outside after taking a peek at the window. It was a nice sunny day with a soft breeze that made you grab your coat before you headed out the door. Sporting a nice pair of shoes that your husband bought you over the weekend, you watch curiously as the sidewalks bustle with people. Cars honked and the chatter of the TV running bled through the walls nearby you as you strode by. It was a happy day, but the smile on your face doesn’t seem to cooperate as much as you try.  

But me and my husband 

We're doing better 

It's always been just him and me 

Together 

You try and try, but it twitches and turns, and you force yourself to cover it up as much as possible with your hands and with your gaze downwards. All your life, you’ve tried to reach for the stars and every time you came nowhere close, so how was this one error in your multitudes of malfunctions going to affect you. You know that you’re dented and bruised, and so you’re afraid...afraid of being left behind by Beomgyu as if you’re nothing when it’s just you two together. Because truly, you believe you are, even as much as your lover convinces himself that you’re not...just to make it better for the both of you. 

Nonetheless, you realize that it will always be him next to you, holding your hand, whether you like it or not. 

The cold wind picks up and you wrap your jacket around you tighter, but that doesn’t do much for the running goosebumps that trail down your arms. A familiar convenience store just down the road practically calls out for you as a shelter to hide from the biting cold, and so you jog through the sidewalk, hands shivering on the door as you open it.  

The bell on top rings. The cashier barely even looks up while you walk by, and you slip by past the younger woman to hide near the ramen section of the store. You were always amazed by the number of flavors and companies that this single food item held, the different sizes, colors, and levels of spice were always intriguing when you ran your fingers over the cartons of boxes, which ultimately stopped at a black box.  

In bold red colors, a small cup of your favorite ramen looks back at you. You freeze and let out a sigh. Then before you know it, you reason with yourself and snatch the cup into your hands. You used to eat this daily, dead at night with a computer in your lap and the sauce smeared all over your lips as your eyes gleamed distantly with a show played in the background.  

While you walked through the aisles, you caught yourself in the reflection of a bright window, eyes widening when you found a younger version of yourself smiling back at the windows. She’s pretty and youthful and smiling like she didn’t have a care in the world. Her face is contorted into an expression of happiness, and you're bewildered when she winks at you.

The wrinkles on your face are practically non-existent on hers while she tilts her head, mouthing words you couldn’t hear. Your feet twitch to run up to the glass, to put your ear against it to hear her better but you don’t. Instead, you gape like a baffled fish. Something wet drips down your cheeks which slowly drips down her’s too.

You wonder why she’s crying so you reach up to your tears to wipe them away from the burning they leave in their way, and you expect her to do the same...except on her side, long fingers that don’t match yours slowly mop them away.

The background behind her which used to be transparent, materializes into something like your old dorm. And right behind her is him with his short brown hair and a sympathetic smile on his face. He croons at her, crouching by her side, slowly patting her head in a soothing manner. And suddenly, you feel as though your own hair is being ruffled, as though you can hear the soft humming and the feeling of warmth pressing into your back.  

It’s been a while. It’s been so long since you’ve felt such a comforting touch from him. You’ve fallen into a routine that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. So salty that it leaves you choking on your own saliva each time you try to gulp down your arising tears, in the bathroom. But you love him. You really do. And in the end, it’s just a husband, you suppose. Not your boyfriend. Only your husband.  

“That’s not fucking fair Beomgyu!” You scream, hands waving in the air like a madman. A volcano rumbles deep in your heart, aching to be released as if it just bubbles over the top. The man in front of you sucks in his lips, his eyes shaking at your outburst.

If you had sanity in you at that moment, you would’ve stopped at his trembling, or with the thought that the neighbors next door could hear your screeches (the walls were horribly thin). The skin on you reeks of frustration and despair. You don’t cry though. “I–I’ve had a hard day too!” He reasons, stepping closer towards you but stopping abruptly when you drag your foot backward. “

And so? You won’t spend it with me? Do you know how bad these two weeks have been for me? Did you even have a fucking hint?” His voice stills in his throat, choosing to stay silent with wide glossy eyes. He’s never liked to be yelled at; you’ve known that since he got scolded by his teammate in a badminton match and came back to you with a raw nose and ruby eyes that faded out near his pupils.

You furrow your eyebrows, and in a moment of actual hurt that he hasn’t said anything about you, your arms cover your chest. “Of course you didn’t. You never do” You whisper, voice cracking as you turn around to stomp back to your room. The door slams behind you when you collapse to the floor with blubbering sobs. You wail and wail and wail. Fingers itch at your face furiously, not letting a drop spill on the floor.  

You don’t hear the door slowly creaking open, nor the soft singing behind you but once you do, your heart stills in its rampage. The silence is loud as a pair of feet pad behind you, nuzzling into your head as his fingers crawl over to your neck, pulling you against his chest. “I don’t have an excuse.” Beomgyu starts off.

“But I promise you, that I’ll do better for you–for us. Because you deserve it more than anyone else. (Y/n), you deserve all the happiness in the world and much better so I’m sorry that you’re stuck by me”

He stops when he feels you shaking your head against him, but that doesn’t deter him too much when he finds the confidence to clean your face with the soft pads of his fingers, his lips now on your neck, just where your pulse beats against his mouth. “But please stay with me.” Beomgyu puffs.  

“By your side?” You ask, turning around in his arms when you couldn’t stand it anymore to watch an older version of yourself, crying heartbreakingly so in the reflection of your cerulean lampshade. Such a tragic sight, that you feel as though your guts are being arranged by the never-ending feeling of unexplainable doom.  “By my side. Nothing more or nothing less”  

You nod and the notion of perturbation and doubt fills the hollow gap of your beating organ–and all you’re hoping is that he’s right.  

The way that your mind thinks is quite twisted, you believe. Because you assume that you’re obliged to be Beomgyu’s side forever on–because frankly, it’s just you and him together.  

So I bet all I have on that 

Furrowed brow 

And at least in this lifetime 

We're sticking together 

Me and my husband 

We're sticking together 

Your mother-in-law was a pleasant woman with a charming smile and her husband–your father-in-law was a nice man who sported thick glasses during the many novellas he would devour on the couch. The first time you met them two was when it was a time between yours and Beomgyu’s relationship when you both were introducing each other to the other half’s family members and this time it was your husband’s time for a meet and greet at his house.  

They invited you inside and took the bouquet of lilies you brought for them, unlatching your hand-locked hold with Beomgyu as they both took a turn to hug you. They were warm and smelled like sugary vanilla, the mother having a hint of spicy red chilies sticking to her clothes.

Immediately she drags you to the kitchen for a bit of assistance while Beomgyu catches up with his dad. You furrow your eyebrows, because Beomgyu didn’t do that at your house when he came over. In fact, you found yourself in the kitchen again that same time. Was he supposed to help as a guest?  

At the dining table, they served you rich Jjajangmyeon that you ate a lot though it was salty and ever since then they all assumed that your mothers-in-law's Jjajangmyeon was your favorite dish.  

You’re brought back to that memory of the first-day meeting when you find yourself looking back at the black sauce in front of you. The two older adults sit in front of you, one is slurping up his food while the other sits with her hands in her lap followed by dialogue that she was waiting for her only child to start eating. But she tells you to start and so you do, trying to not let the saltiness reside on your tongue too much.  

“So (Y/n), when are you and Gyu going to have my grandson?” Soo-Young laughs nudging her husband to follow along too and soon enough you three are all awkwardly chuckling. You push around the noodles before bringing it up to your face. “I’m not sure. I don’t really want to carry a child as of now. I’m happy with Beomgyu just the way it is right now.”

For some reason your voice struggles at the word “happy” but you clear up the crack with a small cough, eyes darting back to your food. “Do you have a problem with your body that you can’t bear a child?”  

You’ve expected this very question, but your heart still drops at it. 

“I–I don’t. Me and Beomgyu aren’t trying right now” You’re ashamed, but you shouldn’t be. But you can’t help it when both parents don’t look convinced but rather disappointed. Anger flares for a mere moment. You’ve heard what their brothers, sisters, and cousins, have been saying about you both.

And in that very scene, you feel like you’re crumbling against their hard stares. You don’t want to bear a child, you just don’t! It’s too much for you now. Mentally and Physically. “Well, that’s good your body is healthy.” Your father-in-law's face hardens and his wife nods briefly before continuing her onslaught. “I hope you have a boy soon. It would be good for all of us”

She sends you a sweet upturn of her lips before she watches the door for its grand reveal, all while you’re internally panicking. The sweat rolls down your back and you play with the food on your plate.  

And I am the idiot with the painted face 

In the corner, taking up space 

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved  

You’re hopeless in situations like this. You never know what to say or what to do, and you’re so fucking pathetic that you can’t help but rely on others–on your husband. So, when Beomgyu bursts in through that door, with a bright smile on his face you feel your body melt and puddle against the chair.

The welcoming nod he sends towards you is just warming enough for you to unclench your jaws and hands. “You’re back” You whisper.... standing up in your chair while you hit your table against the surface of the table. Your husband loosens his tie and places his blue briefcase on the couch before he spares another look at you.  

“Careful honey didn’t know that you were this excited to see me” He quips while he rubs his hands, eyes closing when the stomach-growling scent of food slams into his nose. “Oh, Beomgyu how was work today?” His mom asks, leaving you to serve your husband with whatever he pleased at that moment, and he is happy to tell you exactly what he was craving at the dining table. “Not that bad, I didn’t have too much work today.”  

He sighs as he places a chaste kiss on your cheek, your eyelashes fluttering at the contact. The hysteria inside you has slightly died and it slowly seeps away as you watch your husband, your hand slithering to his to hold, but his hands move away before you can catch them.  

Your smile drops and the feeling intensifies deep inside you. 

Beomgyu sends you an eyebrow raise, lips smiling softly when you subtly shake your head towards the front door, and he gets the signal immediately before he immediately starts to chow down his food. Fingers twitching against your thighs, you stand up to distract yourself and head to the kitchen to grab Beomgyu some water.

You don't feel real for a second, honestly as though you were watching a perspective of yourself in a video game. The veins under your skin thrummed with buzzing nervousness as your eyebrows furrow, and you find your hands shaking as you fill up your husband’s glass, but everything is zooming in and out and the world around you is going round and round.  

“Fuck I can’t see” You mutter to yourself and before you know it, shards of sharp glass fly everywhere around your feet, bursting into a million diamonds once they touch the ground...and your feet. The soft tissue cracks open at a single deep slice, yet you don’t feel the burning pain where it should be.

Instead, you feel it in your throat where bile threatens to spill into your mouth, in your brain where it pulses erratically, your eyes that flit all over the place and your beating organ that stops for a second and then continues then stops then continues.  

Stop. Thump. Stop. Thump. Stop. Thump 

“(Y/n)?!” A pair of callous hands step over to your side, and you find yourself face-to-face with your mother-in-law, her face concerned as she leads you out of the mess. “I’m sorry” You whisper, whipping your head towards Beomgyu, who immediately rises from his seat and sprints to the bathroom.’ 

“Oh gosh, it’s okay” Her eyes dare to flicker to the penetrating wound. You don’t even try. Not when gravity could potentially pull those salty tears down to earth.  

It doesn’t take long for Beomgyu to find the first aid kit and bring it back to you, before he wraps his arm around your hand, pulling you up. “Beomgyu? Where are you going?” His mother demands, and you almost croak for them to stop, just leave you alone, but you don’t. Rather, you flop onto your husband’s side as he explains that he is just going to take you outside for a second.  

“(Y/n)’s still most likely in shock. Let her breathe some of the fresh air, it will do her good. I read it in an. article sometime back.” You’re not even sure what his mother says after to him but you’re being dragged with your other unharmed foot just right outside the porch, where he makes you sit in one the brown chairs that was placed for decor, and he...and he just sits on the ground, next to your dripping foot.

The smell of rust makes you gag into the crook of your arm, coughing violently as you try to let yourself up. “What’re you doing? Sit back down” He grabs your fleeting arm, looking into your eyes with an unexplainable glint.  “Ok” You mumble, and that’s all it took of him for you to obey, gently sitting back into the cushion of the seat.  

The silence consumes you whole, and you furrow your eyebrows struggling to breathe. Words that you want to spit out, lodge themselves in your trachea. Below you, Beomgyu carefully tends to your foot with a serious look imprinted on his handsome features. 

Drip. Drop.

Eyes shooting up to the ceiling, you ignore your husband’s pointed gaze on you, his working hands wet from the silent waterfall that streams down your face. “Baby...” He whispers, putting his cold hands around you, grazing your cheeks as he pulls you down to earth. You sniffle, wiping away your reddening nose,

“I don’t know if I want to stay here anymore?” You’re not sure why you’re questioning yourself when you knew for sure you itched to leave, every nerve inside burning in aflame in hopes of disappearing. “But why? We just came and you know how long it’s been since we’ve stayed over. Plus, today was the last day before my leave off... I had to drive forty minutes just to get here” He reasons, applying light pressure to your foot to stop the spurting of blood.

Your chest stutters at his words, guilt settling deep in your bones, but your lips don’t stop moving. They talk against your mind’s will.  

“I don’t want to have a kid.” 

Beomgyu’s still motion makes you sick to your stomach. “I see. Did my parents ask you about it?” He questions softly. “I suppose.” And finally, you find the courage in yourself to stare him in the staring eyes, wary of the slightest flutter of annoyance from him.

Yet he slowly raises his fingers, and pinches your cheek lightly, tugging it side to side while his lips turn full of a small smile. “If you don’t want to have one, that’s ok, love. But...you know that they’re right, we–we’ve been married for a while now. Don’t you want to start a family? I know I do.” 

You gasp, reaching for the escaping oxygen, “Bu–but I–” 

“You won’t do everything on your own. Just us. Together. I’ll take care of us as a family, treat you well, take more leaves off, um–not go out with my friends as much, I’ll do anything you want.” He leans forward to place a longing kiss on your forehead, and you just close your eyes, chewing your tongue off as it squirms to scream at him.

Your fists tighten to push him off, and your legs ache to run away. Run away as far as you can from this place. But you don’t. You stay sitting in that chair as Beomgyu wipes away your tears, kissing you warmly. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get the way that you’re going to change permanently forever. Both mind and body.

You may hate your child forever on after this, but you still don’t get a say on whether you want it or not. 

“Baby?” Beomgyu pulls back to look at you, giggling at your flushed cheeks, but you don’t find anything amusing. “Yeah?” You mumble, sucking in deep breaths. “We’ll get through it together. I promise.”  

‘Together?’ You ponder.  

You don’t want to.  

Me and my husband 

We're doing better 

It's always been just him and me 

Together 

Your whole body aches with unimaginable pain. Everything is on fire, and the wet tears rolling down your eyes do nothing to soothe it. There’s chattering everywhere but it’s going in one ear and out the other, so you hope that the man by your side is listening intently. You blink slowly to the beat of the two hearts just above your rising chest. Small heads tickle your chin, and their soft warm bodies slow down your breathing a little.  

“You did so well, love.” You want to make up the happy sniffles that emit next to you, but you can’t because your dear husband is truly crying. Any other time you would’ve made fun of him, poked, and teased him for his weeping but you feel like doing the same. But everything dried up the moment your eyes had first landed on your babies.  

Godsend babies.  

But, after their first cries hit the world, you imagine yourself as a mere twelve-year-old (or rather any age below twenty-six) left alone with two wailing babies, locked in a very dark room. Though it was important to take note that, your vivid imagination had increased by tenfold through those nine months...so you didn’t think anything of it. Yet those feelings felt very very real, as though they were thriving right under your skin, crawling like little centipedes, sneaking into every crevice and bump under your organs, eyebrows twitching at the torment.  

You turn your head to catch the calendar on the plain white wall, and in a red circle, highlights the date.

"February 12th" You tremble as you watch your husband nod furiously, clutching your hand to his face. The red burns into the paper and kept in a trance you wonder...in a few years from now, will those random letters and numbers leave a bitter taste on your tongue, or will the remnants of sweet birthday cake follow instead.

So I bet all I have on that 

Furrowed brow 

And at least in this lifetime 

We're sticking together 

If someone asked you how you felt as of right now, you would say “I dunno” in hopes of justifying yourself to your own consciousness. But taking one look at Beomgyu who beams as bright as the sunny sun outside, teeth blinding as ever, you would then change your answer to “Very happy. I am very happy because I have two kids, one of whom is a boy, thank you very much. And the other is a girl and they both, plus me are loved by my lovely husband, who is sticking with me ‘till death do us part.”

You would’ve thrown the last part in as a little joke to hide the dishonesty that would’ve seeped through the very gaps of your teeth. But that doesn't change the fact that it was now officially true. Those two on your chest, breathing with life, had just made it so.  

Me and my husband 

We're sticking together 

“(Y/n) what is this mess?”  

The two kids (both turning eight in a month) in your lap scurry away at the sound of their very tired father leaving you to stand there with a cluttered disarray behind you. You sigh. “I’ll clean it up.” Your body throbs as it leaves its place on the couch, not bothering to even watch yourself as you accidentally stumble into Beomgyu. Though you immediately freeze at the familiar odor that excretes from him.

“Have you been drinking again?” You ask, turning around to face the man who just oddly stares at you. Pieces of gray litter his hair, a stubble grows but he still looks handsome as ever, stunning as he was in that damned cabin. “What’s it with you on what I do? You’re not my mom. You’re my wife.”  

Aha.  

You lean towards him with a comforting pat on his arm, understanding the horrible grief that stirs deep inside him. You wonder if you should let him off the hook this time, his mother, the grandmother of your kids had just passed away a month ago, and his unhealthy habit his just started a week after her passing.

Perhaps you were too nice to him, maybe those small jobs you’ve taken on had made you soft-hearted, but you always fell weak in front of Beomgyu and you realized that earlier on. “It’s ok, love.” You sigh, taking him into a hug, trying not to wince at the sour smell. He doesn’t do much to embrace you, but you don’t mind.  

Parting away from him, you offer a weak smile to him.  

“Tomorrow is the weekend. Let us get a bigger desk for our daughter since she’s now having the room to herself.” 

Me and my husband 

We're doing better 

[toweroftunes]

oooo TAG GAME!!! i never get to do these so many thanks to @chickycherrycola for the tag in the "Get to Know You Meme" 💖

~~~

Last song listened to: "Meter Run" by Bad Bad Hats. and I'm gonna throw in a couple more because, as my handle might suggest, I do indeed love some tunes 😈 haha. "Fireflies" by Pearl & the Oysters as the last song added to my spotify liked list, and "Die Da?!??" by Die Fantastischen Vier as a song giving me some vibes for my SteinMarie backstory fic haha.

Currently obsessed with: Heaven by Mieko Kawakami. I saw this at the library by chance and picked it up because I enjoyed another one of her novels, Breasts and Eggs, when I read it a few years back. Idk if this counts as obsessed exactly - I'm basing it off of the fact that once I finished it, I wanted to buy a copy, and I would definitely recommend it if anyone is looking for a short piece of fiction. I can also see this ending up on required reading lists/syllabuses for literature courses in the West, if it isn't already (idk it was published in 2009, but only translated to English in 2021, I think). Anyway, how Kawakami writes her characters' perspectives in the broader context of social issues and moral questions is really engaging. I also very much enjoy how she creates/describes atmosphere, and the rhythm of the prose. And dang, I always wonder what I'm missing out on having read this as a translated work. Like how the rhythm/style communicates differently (especially with a language that's syllabic and has many words that in English have to be elongated into descriptive experiences but damn I'm already talking too much ugh sure let's call this some form of obsessed lol).

Currently watching: I started watching Baby Reindeer on Netflix and woof. It's really well written so far (I'm only like 1.25 episodes in) so I'm curious to see how it stretches out for another 5.75 episodes. Also apparently Bodies Bodies Bodies is also on Netflix now?? And that's been on my watch list for a while so I'm def watching that next.

~~~

tagging @memethebum, @jonesy-murgatroyd, and @alcruid. i know not everyone is on here all the time, so hopefully this tag finds you well, even if very much in the future!!

[celticbotanart]

*Squid Squidward wide awake meme* ALRIGHT, hear me out - I've been saying for a while how much Witcher 3 reminds me of the Brazilian countriside (more specific Minas Gerais). And ever since I had this madlad dream of a Brazilian Witcher except we called them Bruxeiros (the X here is pronounced like "SH" not like the American "X" - its kind of a meme here, kind of a "literal" PT-BR translation, it's complicated), and they fight Brazilian folklore badass stuff like Boitatá (fucking giant fire snake), Iaras (river mermaids) and un-curse women that became Mula Sem Cabeça (literally headless mules running around with fire coming out their necks). These are all some of our most well-known folklore for real, lol (HIGHLY recommend season 1 of Brazilian Netflix show Invisible City if you wanna see more! It's REALLY good!)

ANYWAY. I was in my kitchen making toast at midnight, when it occured to me. I had A VisionTM. Brazilian Witcher battle music would be like. Floral Fury.

For those unfamiliar, this specific Cuphead theme is 200% oldschool Brazilian samba - yeah the "weird straw-against-plastic-lid" sound is an actual instrument, it's called cuíca lol "Nah, but this is too happy and cheerful", you say. Alright, you are correct, maybe it doesn't fit to be a battle theme for the Bruxeiros. HOW ABOUT SEPULTURA, THEN

SEPULTURA, THE BRAZILIAN METAL BAND, who performed this song as soundtrack for the BR movie "Lisbela e o Prisioneiro" (one of my fucking faves btw), and it the theme song for Frederico Evandro, a character who's ruthless hitman ("Matador").

BRO. IMAGINE. The peaceful and colorfully bucolic countryside of Minas Gerais and you are there fighting a Brazilian Werewolf (cause they are different from the European werewolf, we have several types btw), with THAT playing as battle theme.

Another good contender is Break of Reality's rendition of "As Bachianas n5" by Villa-Lobos (guy was a badass proeminend classical music composer who loved to mix in Brazilian folk elements with the classical music sttuff, pissing off a lot of purists in the process lol, good for him)

"As Bachianas n5" is probably Villas' most famous piece, it's originally a GORGEOUS aria, classically sung in Brazilian Portuguese.

SEVERAL people covered this song, including Sandy from sibling duo Sandy & Junior (they were EXTREMELY POPULAR with kids and teens back in the 90s/early 2000s); also people from all around the world covered it. You get it, it's pretty legit and famous AF.

THEN came Break of Reality a few years ago

with THIS badass cover:

LOOK.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE VERSIONS OF THIS SONG. I STAN THIS COVER SO HIGH. I LOVE how it is sweet and emotional, but it brings a totally different, new, raw aspect to it that is so strangely fitting to this song (I can't explain, it just is). I can easily imagine this in the Bruxeiro!AU as battle music, even more cause a lot of the og Witcher 3 OST is full of slavic folk music that doesn't even reflect the Battling of Monsters thing - "...Steel For Humans" is like, a song sung by girls on wedding/harvest festivals, lol.

ON THAT NOTE, I think we could end this crazy ass post by including some of the folk / afro-Brazilian culture as well, which is only fair, and add this one, which I LOVE, "Caxangá / Escravos de Jó" by Milton Nascimento (my beloved <3) and folk singer Clementina de Jesus:

Milton is known to sing in high, ethereal vocalizations and extremely emotional lyrics. Guy is just A Fucking Legend fr. If there's a bard in my Bruxeiro!AU it's def Milton, I love his work so so so much! He's also known for mixing up influences from afro-brazilian culture, as you can see in here!

Stay tuned for more posts like this that can happen again at any moment or never again, lol

[ownedbyaborzoi]

Get to Know a Simmer

@memoirsofasim​ tagged me in this and it looked cool so why not!

show your wallpaper:

Pierce (aka SBOS CH Avalon Perlova MHD She Loves Me JC TKI VHMA) up in the mountains in Cloudcroft NM when we went hiking up there in May

Last song you listened to: I don’t even know, I don’t listen to music as much now that I’m working from home and not driving to work anymore.

Currently reading: Play Training Your Dog. LOVE the book, highly recommend it (especially for those who are working with sighthounds), though my puppy grabbed it off my shelf and shredded the back half. It looks like he just got the appendix though so hopefully I can finish it.

Last movie: I don’t even know lol

Last show: I’m currently re-watching Castle. Love the first three seasons, it starts going downhill IMO after that. But I’ve seen it a ton so I can watch it as I sim and not worry about missing anything.

Craving: Sleep. It’s so miserably hot and I have two young sighthounds who need as much free running as possible, so I’ve been staying up until midnight so they can be outside from 8:30 or so to about 11 and then getting up at 3 AM to kick them back out until 7 when I get up and get ready for work. I’m so tired but it’ll be worth it to have my gorgeous show potential puppies reach their full potential. SO TIRED OF IT BEING SO HOT THOUGH. 100-110 degrees F and really shitty AC so it’s around 90F inside. I hate the summer

What are you wearing right now: Pajama pants and a T shirt (From Mad Dog Metal Works that says “It’s a beautiful day for plastic bag murder sports” and I’m obsessed. Def wearing this shirt when I take Pierce lure coursing in a few weeks)

How tall are you: Like around 5′6 I think

Piercings: None, I’ve had my ears pierced twice and both times I had to let them close up. I’m apparently not meant to have pierced ears.

Tattoos: None yet, though I want a galloping borzoi eventually, and maybe Pierce’s pawprint.

Glasses/contacts: I am blind and can’t see without my contacts. I need to get glasses though, ever since I got COVID last year I get headaches from staring at a computer screen for too long. I need to get blue light glasses but I’m also curious to see if switching from contacts to regular glasses makes a difference.

Last thing you ate: Popeyes classic chicken sandwich with cajun fries.

Favourite colour: Blue, green, and purple. I like cool colours.

Current obsession: Borzoi, for now and always. They are my life.

Any pets: I have four dogs (all borzoi), two lionhead rabbits, and an evil leopard gecko

Favourite fictional character: Hmmm, I don’t know. Probably Kate Beckett from Castle because I think she’s absolutely perfect and will name a dog Beckett someday. Also obsessed with MASH, particularly Hawkeye Pierce (hence my dog’s call name)

Last place you traveled: Albuquerque, NM for a dog show. About to travel to Flagstaff AZ in two weeks for another dog show (and then Show Low AZ the weekend after that for an AKC lure coursing trial, and then October and November will also feature dog shows almost every weekend hopefully)

I dunno who to tag so I tag anyone who’s bored and wants to do this. Feel free to tag me in this if you do it so I can read your answers, I don’t always have time to browse Tumblr

[strayklds]

oh!!! i listen to txt too, they were in my top 5 last spotify wrapped! in actuality i'm a super casual listener, so it surprised me when they showed up instead of, idk... skz or twice or rv 💀 ALSO GIRL WAIT THEY'RE TOURING IN MY STATE RN LMFAO???? another big coincidence, i really don't plan these 😭 but i'm glad you had such a good time w/them!! a live performance is def one of the best ways to spend a birthday ☺️

i don't really think i have a bias in skz, but i hesitate calling myself an ot8 b/c while all the guys have their charms, i don't know some of them as well as the others either, yk? 🤔 however... atm it might be bangchan... or lee know? chan is a regular in my yt shorts (YES I KNOW. SORRY.) & he's so responsible & comforting?? genuinely down-to-earth? kind of awkward, but so hardworking? (tho do i like him the most or is it just mere exposure effect? hmmm) but i do think lino's the most handsome in the group... i like that he looks kind of mean when he's serious, or looks like he has a cat-like personality LMAO if this makes sense? um 🫣

(cut into 2 pts b/c i got scared at the length)

+ honorary han b/c whenever he shows up on my screen i have to point & get excited & say "that's him, that's the guy!!" for reasons we are all familiar with at this point. we have to have 091400 solidarity, that's the law! maybe i just can't get over the fact that i was born at the same time as a kpop idol (/two of them?) & find it v cool, but since han is also so talented it's all one massive w. i'm esp impressed by his freestyle ability & vocals, i've loved rap since i was in middle school too lol. & i like it when his cheeks puff out while he eats. i think his mannerisms are cute.

sorry for the ramble... do you have any favorite skz tracks/albums for me to listen to? i kind of put them on at random but i've been trying to lock down some favorites to introduce in the future to my friends. also, yes please on the blog recs!! thank you if you do! 🙏💛

bang chan is so loveable!! honestly if/when you get to know all of the members it becomes so hard to pick a favorite honestly😭😭 & you saying lino has a cat like personality is so funny i love it because you're kind of right????? in the sense that i feel like he shows emotions how a cat would LMAO (i love him so much i am so fond of him) & yesssssss come to the dark side & bias han he's literally incredible one of my favorite performers / songwriters ever he's so talented im cutting myself off here.

omg i have SO MANY recs for you but i will try to keep it short since im not sure what your fave music style is (but literally every skz album is good so there's not a bad place to start tbh). here are just a couple faves off the top of my head: levanter, venom, waiting for us, pacemaker, phobia, we go, MY PACE!!!, easy, charmer, any, b me, and blueprint & for some solo songs i hiiiighly recommend volcano (han), connected (chan), limbo (lee know) & heyday (3racha)!! (i might have gotten carried away im so sorry)

& for blog recs some of my faves are @hyunebear / @skz-films, @lee-minhoe, @chanstopher, @chanrizard, @agibbangs, @seungs @hyunpic @yangjeongin @minhosblr @quokki & @jinniebit just to name a few off the top of my head <3

[happy-ramm]

Hi!

First of all: Thank you very much, I really appreciate all of your input on the current rammstein situation and I’d totally say I agree!

The situation is fucked.

I just want to add some of my thoughts about all of this, if that’s ok:

Let’s start with: I hate it here.

I hate what this debate does to the bigger image of the band: they are in the process of becoming a tool to express hate towards women and the general idea of feminism. There are misogynists, fans of this red pill ideology ‘defending’ Till by simply calling the women who came forward with allegations slurs. And there are fanaccounts sharing these videos like “go watch it, big recommendation” … you’re like ten seconds in and the dude in the video calls a woman “bitch”/“hoe” because he has ‘evidence’ that she might be lying? Shut up, Sherlock and maybe let some professional investigator do their job?

Who do they think they’re helping with that? It’s ridiculous, really embarrassing and not helpful at all imho.

This antifa-incident now also gives a lot of rather right winged people (Nazis lol) the opportunity to slide in the comment section of posts about it and spread hate of the political left as a whole and force their ideas of “the lefts being the new facists” on everyone. This connection is also very nice for all those journalists out there who love discussing rammstein as nazis! And also veeeery nice for the current political situation in Germany! much wow. I’m so done. (Also quick advice to all the activists out there: if you feel like vandalism, maybe rather write ‘no stage for Nazis’ on some buildings that are owned by ‘Alternative für Deutschland’?)

(These right winged accounts also really often show their homophobia - which I find quite ironic given the fact that rammstein eg waved pride flags in poland and their guitarists kissing on stage like every concert now but ok)

Id def consider myself somewhere on the spectrum of the political left and I also think that one can (and should) read rammsteins appearance in their political songs in this context.

My point being: there are now a lot of people interested in rammstein who seem to actually have nothing in common with their world view? It just makes me really uncomfortable and I hope that once this is over they’ll loose their interest in the band again.

I’ve been to three rammstein concerts and one of Lindemanns shows - until now everything was ok and we met some nice people. (Even tho the Lindemann Show was a rather weird, unique experience in general but that’s sth different) .. all in all I’d say my (female passing) friends and I were having a good time and everything was ok.

But with all of this, with the chance that the amount of these kinds of really bad people being interested in rammstein and as a result maybe also attending the concerts is growing - I might be afraid of going to another one (if there will be another tour?) and no, not because of Till Lindemann.

Sorry for the late repsonse Anon! I was moving house!

In general, though, I share a lot of your concerns. Situations such as this one are tricky because what is ultimately the dealings between two people and their own feelings/experiences of the matter gets submitted to the greater public for their judgement. Politics, laws, personal morals and agendas all get dumped in one big pot to boil over and eventually fester. It is all very confusing...and then out pops something nasty. In this case, the misogynistic right wing.

Frankly, I am not surprised that the right-wing has found a little nest within the Rammstein fandom. I do not say that because I believe Rammstein harbours any sympathies with that ideology - I like you firmly believe them to be a left-leaning band - but simply because people's media literacy skills are in general....ah, how to say this politely?....ah yes, they are fuckin' shit.

Rammstein is a band that rewards those willing to look deeper; those who love satire and those who simply have a good sense of humour. Unfortunately, they also appeal to those who really like when things go BANG.

Now, I also like when things go bang, don't get me wrong - pure sensation can never be underrated in terms of art. However, its a matter of aesthetics versus text. A reasonable person would conclude that these can't be separated: their interaction, whether it be complimentary or contrasting, creates the meaning. In the case of Rammstein, however, there exists a neat line, formed due to the language barrier between the band and the general audience.

This barrier has benefitted Rammstein - I believe they would not have gotten so far if their content was in English, for instance, but it means there are too many who only see "the picture".

The hardness. The hypermasculinity. The violence. The sexual imagery. The stoicism. The evocation of fascism. And all without the crucial framing of the lyrics.

Even when the satire should be self-evident, many miss the cue. Take Links 234 as an example: a song which functions as a politically rally for the left, specifically against the right, and was constructed in response to a reactionary media who sought controversy and not understanding, has ended up as a right-wing marching song in many minds.

It is very frustrating

Even more frustrating is deciding how to deal with this....

Argue with every idiot you see on the internet? Now, that's a Sisyphean task.

Leave the fandom altogether? Well, that feels like a different kind of defeat.

Realistically speaking, there is no silver bullet. One decides what is best for themselves. Personally, I feel no fear participating in the fandom as a queer AFAB person. Reality is different from the online spaces and I have never felt uncomfortable at their concerts, and when online, the block button is a blessing. I have no idea how this recent controversy is going to change the demographic of the Rammstein fandom, but I know I ain't going to fuckin budge to leave space for some Nazi twat. All I can say is, I hope this situation is resolved quickly, and I hope all Nazis die in a fuckin' fire.

That is all.

[kiss-my-battery-505]

I’m bored so here’s a list of my reviews of all the movies I’ve seen from the silver scream albums

Don’t feel pressured to read lmao I’m just infodumping for fun also sorry for bad formatting this was written in my notes app lol

Friday the 13th/Thank god it’s Friday- The song absolutely FUCKS its so good I VERY recommend it, it mainly references the beginning part of the movie but it sounds like a basic campfire story but with metal music it’s awesome <3 The *movie* wasn’t bad, the first one wasn’t as great as I was expecting but it was super fun and I def am gonna watch the sequels

Rainy day/Resident evil- LOVE THESE the song is 100% less metal and more like alternative?? Pop rock?? but it’s still amazing the music video also slaps, but the MOVIES!!!! I just watched the second one (it’s been a while since I watched the first lmao) but the second one is a total cheesy action/zombie movie and is one of the only zombie movies I’ve ever enjoyed like GENUINELY and the GAMESS I’ve only played the first one (I haven’t finished yet </3) and watched some clips from the later ones but they freaky /pos HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the song/franchise

Scream/Your number’s up- The song wasnt my favorite (it just sounded a little too much like a musical but it wasn’t bad) but it wasn’t bad but the MOVIE <333 I already watched scream like a while ago and it’s one of my favorite like kind of mystery/slasher movies? Also one of my favorite final girls in a movie like she def earned it, I wish I could watch this movie again for the first time it rocks

IT/IT is the end-Another movie I have SO many thoughts on: the older one was my favorite <33 it had practical effects it felt like the main characters actually cared about each other, LOVED the old one BUT the new ones were not as good imo like it was *all* CGI that got kind of boring after a while the characters like seemed to care about each other less and it was all super forced, there were like wayyyy too many side plots that meant nothing??? AND THE ENDING like- spoilers if u haven’t watched it- but the way they figured out how to defeat the clown WAS SO FUCKING STUPID like all of those confusing side plots and they just had to use the power of bullying????? Like they just gathered around it just going oH stupid little babey man look at this stupid fuckign idiot AND IT WORKED?!?!!! Like they fought a spider creechur in the original like I was so mad at the new ending loll anyway, it’s been like a couple months since I watched it but I could totally go into even more detail jsbsj

Nightmare on elm street/American nightmare- Again the song is great✨super theatrical, I just watched the movie for the first time it’s amazing <333 total cheesy 80s movie, the fashion was great✨the characters weren’t like annoying I liek :)

Hip to be scared/American psycho- This was the first Ice Nine Kills song I’ve ever listened to and it’s STILL my favorite it’s soso theatrical and fun and there are so many movie references in the song it’s crazyy and the live performance clips look so fun jsbsj

I just recently watched the movie bc of the song and like I don’t know if I would have enjoyed the movie as much if I hadn’t listened to the song first loll like the first half of the movie i took WAY less seriously than I should’ve cause like they’d reference something and and my dumbass brain would only think of the song but towards the end I realized it was all a metaphor for something bigger and I’ve never researched a movie that much like ever <3 I could write a whole other essay on the like corporate greed and toxic masculinity themes but this is already super long so <3333

Evil dead/Ex Mortis- the song and movies are on the EXACT same wavelength /pos very camp very cheesy it’s perfect <33 it’s been forever since I’ve watched Army of Darkness but I remember it was super fun like a very good bad movie you can just turn your brain off and watch without analyzing too hard

Candyman/Farewell II Flesh-So I’ve only seen the new remake of this movie but it was done SUPER well like the shadow puppet scenes were really cool and different and the plot was rly good :))) very spooky I loved it (my sister did not lmaoo)

Pet semetary/Funeral derangements- (I’ve only watched the original one) ok so like this movie has a very gloomy type vibe (obviously) and was like pretty unsettling (minus the parts me and my friends made fun of a little lol) but like that’s the point and it was well made, also the *song* funeral derangements fucks *so* hard like the chorus is so amazinggg waughh <3333333 very swag

Also lastly honorable mention that has not been put on a silver scream album (yet 👀) but is still SUCH a good horror movie: Cabin in the woods is so amazing and I cant even summarize the plot without like spoiling it like trust it’s such a good movie it like changes the way u see other popular horror movies it’s so cool I promise

Ok this was really long and I don’t write essays often so I wanted to keep it short (I didn’t 😔) but yeah anyway~this is just some of my own opinions don’t take it too seriously lmao I didn’t 🥰🥰

[getwallowed]

the best wallows fan accounts on instagram! :)

i'm aware that fellow wallows fans on here probably already follow some of these accounts on ig/don't have or want ig, but just in case you guys were looking for more content i've listed my favs here!

@/wallowshq [ leah (@wallowshq) ] the biggest wallows fan account (that i know of) on instagram - they post cool stuff very regularly and are very quick to post any band news. they also have highlights up with all the setlists from the tmtio tour!

@/duhwallows [ abby (@duhwallows) ] firstly a funny name, secondly another of the biggest wallows accounts (that i know of) on instagram - they also post very regularly and have very good quality posts, plus they're very helpful if you have questions about tour or other wallows info.

@/wallowsarchive [ gab ☆ (@wallowsarchive) ] this account is pretty cool, they basically post random pics of wallows, not necessarily the most recent ones, so it's basically like a blast from the past/nostalgia account lol.

@/inmywallowsera [ rose :) (@inmywallowsera) ] one of my two favs on this list! the admin, rose, is so sweet and very down to earth, plus she posts a lot of ig stories and they're always so sweet! she always seems so genuinely happy for people who go see the band live or meet the band members around in public, which is lovely to see. also, this account is especially one for the braeden girlies hehe >:)

@/wallowsdni [ totally normal wallows fans (@wallowsdni ] my other fav! this account is so odd but it's absolutely hilarious and every time i see one of their posts i laugh a lot harder than i should. the admins are super cool & friendly too so i'd say def check them out if you like dumb wallows memes (check out my next post bc i'm gonna post some of their stuff bc it's so funny oml).

@/evilwallowsmusic [ wallows shitposting (@evilwallowsmusic) ] similar to wallowsdni (the previous account on this list), they post mildly idiotic wallows memes, which are very funny. also fun fact: the wallowshq admin is also one of the two admins of this account!

@/wallowslyricss [ no.1 hurts me stan (@wallowslyricss) ] this account is so aesthetically pleasing omg - basically they post wallows song lyrics printed on book pages (like those aesthetic pictures of book quotes you see as part of ig photo dumps/pinterest aesthetic boards etc). plus on a personal level they claim to be the number one hurts me stan (so i guess i've been relegated to number 2 lol), which i love because i think hurts me deserves a lot more appreciation.

@/selenasummer16 [ selena (@selenasummer16) ] [ braeden lemasters by selena adams (official music video) - YouTube ] this isn't a full wallows account but i'm linking it anyway because selena wrote, sang and released a song called 'braeden lemasters' and even made a music video for it, which i've also linked! even if you don't watch the mv i'd recommend going to her channel and watching the videos where she goes behind the scenes and explains the mv in depth bc there are soooo many well-thought-out wallows easter eggs in there, it's so cool!

@/wallowscloset [ gio (@wallowscloset) ] this account posts pictures of the clothes the band members wear, say where to find them and the price! a very useful account for ppl like me who are super jealous of some of the clothes they wear :) honestly i'd love to hire dylan as my personal stylist bc i love his outfits sm.

feel free to reblog this with any other accounts you like, on ig or any other platforms, or even to self-promo your wallows fan account! :D

[ithinkabouttzu]

Take all the time you need <333 for my ship request, id like a male ship with the pacific please! i'm filipina, 5'6''-7 range, a Leo sun, Taurus moon and Cancer rising. Im in my last year of college in liberal studies. I love to watch tv, youtube videos, read, write fics and poetry, draw and paint. Im listening to a lot of emo/punk rock music, but right now its goth rock music ! I squeeze in kpop music here and there; my fave kpop groups are blackpink, twice, (g)i-dle and red velvet! My fashion is a mix of grunge/punk and goth (its mostly all black and dark colours at this point) Im currently saving money for the TWICE concert right now so Im working really hard. I'm kind of introverted and sarcastic most of the time. I have faded copper red hair cos my jet black roots are growing. I used to wear euphoria themed makeup but its kind of altered to a new style due to my dark phase lol. I also love learning French, Portuguese and Tagalog whenever I can bc I would love to travel one day. I hope this is ok!! <3

Yes thank you sm for the request lovely!! 💗

I ship you with…

Eugene Sledge!

Song recommendation: Only - LeeHi

-Okay cute couple alert 🚨🚨🚨🚨‼️

- hear me out, but y’all would be like adorable and y’all’s looks would compliment each other so nicely omg 😫

- Black Cat gf and Golden Retriever bf type couple fr

- Right off the bat I think he would find you so pretty! Like he would be so nervous to come up to you because you’re like super cool and edgy and he’d be scared to mess something up or embarrass himself LOL

- He LOVES how different your style is from his! Like you’re so different from the basic girls he sees everyday so you would be honestly so refreshing to admire for him LOL

- One day he’d be just like looking around, and he’d find your drawings, and he find would them so pretty! I think he would be fascinated at how good you are at drawing

- I think he would find you so damn cool in general! Like you can speak multiple languages, you can draw amazing, your gorg, and you’re a good writer. (his dream girl omg)

- He would love your painting SOOO much, and everytime you draw something new he wants to be one of the first people to see it (he’s a supportive bae) like he honestly thinks you’re good at everything tbh.

- He’d like your sarcastic humor A BUNCH, he’s not very good at sarcasm but he likes to hear it from you, also he doesn’t like when anyone else is sarcastic BUT you (snafu’s jealous LMAO 😭)

- What a cute introverted couple AHHH i’m shipping so hard

- One date night, y’all had the idea to like draw each other which is so cute tbh, but like you actually draw him so well and it looks realistic while his on the other hand is literally a stick figure LOL (it’s the thought that counts though)

- He would be such a thoughtful and sweet boyfriend though 🥺, like if you’ve been wanting something for a long time ( like those twice tickets for example) He would def by those tickets for you to go to and he’s just so cute omg 😭

- Or like if you wanted a certain type of filipino meal he would try to make it for you and surprise you with it, he would get all the ingredients and he so serious on cooking the best meal ever, dude turns into Gordon Ramsey for a bit LOL

- Omg i could see y’all just traveling together and getting to learn all these different cultures and customs y’all would have so much fun

- Also I could just see you trying to teach him some french, bc like he thinks the language is so beautiful, and he is so attentive when you teach him and ends calling you little pet names in french

- goth rock might not be his fav but he’s def into listening to it when hes with you, he really doesn’t mind if it means you enjoy it

- canon: one time, he tried to write a romantic poem for you on valentine’s day, and failed horribly 😭 but it was so cute because you could tell he tried hard on it, even though it was adorable and it surely made your heart melt

- Y’all would have the cutest little stay - in date nights omg, I think gene would set everything up, snacks and all. you guys would be like watching your fav tv shows with some of the best cuddles EVER

- But overall y’all would be such a cute couple and i think y’all would get along like so gooddddd 😫 y’all would even each other out so nicely and yalls relationship would be so smooth and steady!!

Thank you again for your request and I hope you like it 🤞🏼💗!!!

[icharchivist]

I love seeing belial pass by my dash he’s like. a friendly summer storm. anyways I 1) think it’s so funny that whenever I see his summer art I get distracted by the whole sunsetted sky and go oooh pretty… and forget belial who is in front of that. sorry my guy. but 2) perhaps gbf has done this already but I would like to submit to the courts an idea: sleeveless black turtleneck, leather jacket worn slightly loosely so u can see his shoulders / arms partially, and fingerless gloves. just because I think it’s Weirder to pull those off with your teeth in a way that I think belial would be into. this ask was originally gonna be about like. ur rec playlist of songs was one of the only things I downloaded for my flight so I finally listened to all of it and it was very good, probably within temptation was the standout artist to me? anyways that was going to be the ask but I got derailed and had to submit my piece lol. happy thirsting or making yourselves sad I’m actually not sure entirely what’s going on ✌️

dfLKDFJDF THE WAY BELIAL DERAILED YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT. his power.

The background taking more of your attention than whoever is in front of that is so funny. Belial is out there out-whoring himself and you're like *shoves him aside* woah the view is so pretty!

And for the style this is SUUUUCH a cool idea. They've never truly done something like that "frankly i think every single arts of Belial still have him have a decolletage except for two sprites) and the sleeveless black turtleneck is something i've seen other angels wear more... but maybe he should just embrace it bc i'm totally down for this imagery; it'd fit him so well oghhhh. And pulling fingerless gloves with your teeth is an ordeal but i'm sure Belial could make it sexy.

Back on topic, LMAOOOO. Ultimate Belial distraction. BUT!!! I'm so glad you got around to listen to it and it made it pass the time during your flight!! i'm so glad you liked it!!!

And so so glad you liked Within Temptation ahhh <333 i adore this band!! It's a band i discovered when i was like 12 and it genuinely shaped a lot about myself, if only bc the aesthetics really spoke to me and at the time it wasn't something i was used in seeing. I kinda fell out of it when i was like 16 because i was looking back at it like "ew cringe stuff from my cringe years", but i relistened to it all a few years ago and was just. actually that slapped 12yo me knew what was up. and now i love it even more.

So i'm so glad you liked it!!! thank you so much for sharing <333 i did select songs and there's a whole lot others songs by WT that i adore so i def recommend checking more of the artist if you're curious for more! esp since a few of the album kinda have a narrative flow in a sense? Or at least i can easily project one on them and it's real fun!

ANYWAY!! thank you so much for the message and the good wishes. And with Belial it's always thirst and sadness at the same time, thank you very much <333333

Take care!!!

[sinkableruby]

Gamer asks: 1, 2, 6, 13?

YEAA GAMER ASKS

1 - Games you’re currently playing?

i almost forgot somehow, but im playing street fighter 6! super fun and i love the cast except for when the game is too hard and i feel overwhelmed by all the tech and things you have to do to learn characters :< at least they are all hot... 😔✊ but also the like player characters you can make are cool. it's a very good character creator and i always love it when games have that for my roleplaying brain. but again theres too much stuff and it takes too much time to get i dont wanna have to unlock moves :<

2 - Do you like playing with mods?

yes! mods are so good... you can tweak your experience to be just a little more comfortable, or revamp the whole thing. i usually only go through the effort of getting them when its a game i really like, like the binding of isaac or monster hunter or smth. i get all the enjoyment i can out of the base game, then do mods. its fun! theres also just cosmetic mods that change like appearances and audio and stuff like that, and those can get kinda goofy so probably i'd also wait til i'd done enough of the base game in general, but those are really good too!!

6 - Last game you finished?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm i guess i would say... even though this is a replay, og pokemon platinum (emulated) i skipped the "buying the new remade game out of nostalgia" step and just went back the original without any of the annoying wait times due to emulation lol i like doing challenge runs on it like monotypes and nuzlockes, usually sort of building a team to a certain "character" (another roleplay thing, i really like doing that :p), its pretty fun! i dont always finish runs but theyre certainly enjoyable

13 - A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to?

i have so many of these!!! well, they more apply in a "single game i always come back to" sense, but still

i have to say smite first bc i still play that game sooo much (almost 3000 hrs ack...) the third person moba + characters u play as are gods from various mythologies combination is really good, hi-rez kinda struck gold with that

theres also left 4 dead of course (but really its l4d2 since it has all of l4d1's stuff) which ive played since i was a kid... its fun i love it! def a favorite of mine... altho the periods i play it are kinda intermittent

binding of isaac series... i played the original flash game which was not as fun but it was a more like, meaningful experience. which is definitely part due to the amazing music, and possibly in part due to that unfairness making it feel hopeless. i only play rebirth these days of course because it is much bigger and better in terms of gameplay, and gameplay is pretty important for roguelikes lol, but you can't talk about rebirth without talking about the original! also rebirth doesnt have good music :(( the only actually good track is the burning basement one (which is really good, but not enough to make up for a whole soundtrack of meh songs). although the recently added dogma fight song is great too, the cathedral ost is good, and the hush fight is one i personally like... other than that its all :l

oh and i still play long live the queen every now and then. a sequels coming out soon which is great!! but its not like the same setting where youre a princess trying to become queen and also theres cool magic which is sad... also the deaths in that game are adorable i love them

look at it isn't it cute. go play this game everyone its fun you have to stop a princess from dying. i like how its written too. i recommend 👍

[apoorplayer]

december tcc challenge but i did the whole thing bc i was bored lmao

* What music genre fits your tc the most?

early 2000s pop punk , lol . he has the voice for it

* What's your favorite personality trait for your tc?

his confidence for sure . he says everything like he knows he’s right and it’s so hot

* Do you think they fit into a certain aesthetic or two? If so, which ones?

closest aesthetic i could fit him into is like ,, soft artsy boy ?? that’s the way he dresses at least lol

* If you could, how would you comfort your tc?
(Like if they seem to be having a rough day)

whenever he seems like he’s having a rough day i just try to make him laugh :)

* What type of winter activity do you think is their favorite?

he seems like a snowball fight type of guy tbh lol

* If you could (or have) what book or movie would you recommend to you tc?

any emily henry book !! i think he’d like the humor in those books + would love for those romcoms to give him some ideas ;;)))

* What's their sense of humor like? Is yours similar?

he’s obsessed w “cringe” things lol , we have very similar senses of humor and he’s told ppl he thinks i’m rlly funny hehe

* What's the nicest thing your tc has ever said to you?

sometimes he compliments me in this super low voice and it actually makes me MELT but one time he basically said he loves the way i act and it made me never want to change myself lol

* What wintery activity would you love to do with them?

cuddle up together and watch christmas movies <333

* What do you think your tc's love language is?

prob quality time . he’s all ab spending time w ppl :)

* Do you have a quote or poem that you associate with them?

plentyyy of song lyrics ,,, like the entirety of using you by mars argo <333

* Do you prefer emailing them or talking in person?

talking in person BUT emailing him feels so special esp since he always emails me first hehe

* Do they have a signature cologne or perfume?

nooo i wish he did tho lol

* Is your tc someone you can go to for support?

yeah i think so , he can tell when i’m having a bad day and tries to comfort me :)

* Have you ever pictured yourself with their last name or vice versa?

all the time tbh

* Is there anything you don't like about your tc?

we have completely opposite political opinions hahah and we both feel very strongly ab those opinions

* Have you ever seen them in a really bad mood?

not a RLLY bad mood , but he did get super sick awhile back and he would legit come into lunch and just lay on the floor lmao

* Does your tc ever laugh differently when they're with you?

yeahhhh hehe i made him laugh harder “than he ever had before” :))))

* What's your tc's staple drink? (If they have one)

vanilla coffee for sure

* Is there anything that the two of you have in common? Is there a lot?

we’re both gaming and coffee nerds lol

* Have they ever targeted you directly in class or in the halls?

he comes up to me a lot in the halls , we don’t have class together tho so </3

* Have you ever said anything that might have given away your feelings?

i don’t think so , i try to keep my feelings pretty hidden lol

* Do you dream about them often?

WAY TOO OFTEN

* Is your tc more physically or verbally affectionate? Or not at all?

def more verbally affectionate :)

* If you could, (or have) what would you get your tc for Christmas?

prob some rlly nice coffee beans hehe

* Do you like them in a romantic sense or in a more platonic way?

tbh more of a romantic sense but i know nothing would ever happen and i’m 100% ok with our current dynamic

* Are they a cozy sweater person?

no he literally wears short sleeve button ups in december 😭

* What color looks best on them?

green :)

* If you could see yourself the way they see you, would you take the chance?

yes ofccc

* What little habit they have is your absolute favorite?

when i’m talking i use hand movements a lot , and he always mimics them after i do them so i’ll get embarrassed . he thinks it’s so funny lol i love seeing him laugh ab it

* If it was legal, would you share a midnight kiss with them?

yes hehe

[mukuberry]

ok ok ill let u look it up on youtube since links can be sus but you should listen to Renbu by Issey if you have a chance! personal rec

hehe I'm fine with links it only takes a sec to check em and its more of a suprise ^^ it more that theyre from an anon that makes me worried lol

anyyyyyway out of the songs ive been recommended this is def my fav (not that the other 2 were bad- i rlly like em too) i love the singers whispery voice they sound like they've been crying its so beautiful and i especially like the lil bit at 0:38, def gonna be looping this all week :33333

[nottheweirdest]

Ooohhh boy do i have some recommendations for you that I really hope you like and can help with inspiration. You've already gotten so many good ones, what an awesome fan following you have haha.

First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes

Kinda just a happy lovey fluff song that i can picture those 2 fitting with.

I apologize ahead of time cause the rest are all angsty xD i listen to a lot more angst for drabble inspiration lol.

Jacked Up - Weezer

Chapter 6 Many Mistakes - Jax Anderson (I like to picture this one with shadow hurting sonic in some way, then sitting alone being depressed with regret)

Francis Forever - Mitski (The idea of them being apart or one dying, probably sonic, and the other having to live on without is just too strong of angst for me. I love it)

Lonely - Nathan Wanger (Pure shadow angst focused on him being alone and unable to break it)

Eet - Regina Spektor (More of them being seperated/apart. Similar to francis forever)

Saturn - Sleeping At Last (This one is a big oof for me. Im sure youll understand if you listen)

Anyways thats all! Sorry for the song dump, ive just been sitting on a few for awhile and this is a perfect opportunity to share. Hope you enjoy, and hope your hectic busy life becomes more manageable soon!

Yay!! I can't wait to give these a listen!! And I know, so many good recs and I seriously couldn't ask for a more amazing following 🥰🙏. Y'all are coming through for me!! 💖

So funny, I've heard First Day of My Life before (I listen to lots of folk and folk related music, especially the mopey stuff lol can't help myself) but I'd never looked up the lyrics. This is so good and sweet. It immediately made me smile. Honestly... I'm adding this to my Coming Home playlist And so I thought I'd let you know Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow But I realized that I need you And I wondered if I could come home It's perfect.

On the rest, like I said lol I do a lot of mopey folk type music and I already recognize some of these 💖 Jacked Up I'd not heard and I like it a lot! I can see this fitting with them easily. Chapter 6 and Francis Forever are both def angsty but I especially like the tone of Chapter 6 🥺 Lonely.... oof. That one hits waaaaay to close to home. It's so good. Instant add to my liked songs and my Shadow playlist. 🥺 Eet by Regina Spektor is so good. She's got lots of good stuff. Sleeping at Last I've listened to a lot over the past few years. In fast, this song was already on my liked list and yeah. I get why you'd list it here so don't mind me while my heart breaks over here and I die a little inside. 😭 It's a beautiful song. I love that you shared these, thank you SO much!! And thank you for the note about crazy life. Tomorrow is my last training that I have to give for at least the next three months. I'll still have to create training and do presentations and what not but I can at least take this off my plate for a bit so really hoping to rest up a bit over the summer!

[iamnbdetox]

the college friend campfire was really really nice ~ one of them was a huge hugger and her husband was a handshaker lol recommended my fav animation movie (The Boy and The Beast) to another, who was in film and he is obsessed with animated movies apparently :D :D :D there were also talks of a mafia smut book club??? The hosts fed us all, treated us to alcohol, just all around amazing levels of hospitality.

Since then a lot of really good things have happened. A rent agreed to let me help w/ their finances. Gonna start on my next credential next week. Was invited to a coming out party for a currently-nameless individual ya’ll dont know :)

Also, two old penpals started talking w me again, one randomly, one prompted ~ at different points I had big ol crushes on these two. Obviously one ain’t going anywhere. And the other has big anxiety so she’ll ghost again at some point. But we’re talking basically every day and the act of talking w/ them is super fun and highly worth it.

There are people I miss, but it is what it is.

Went to a music festival w/ Brandon on his bday weekend, super sick. Loved The Struts performance. Saliva too. And there’s a metal concert next month I’m super looking forward to too ~ since the festival had like... light rock? and one band that was more dancie. Nothing wrong w/ it, just not my usual taste ofc. There was also a country stage, the one song we listened to there was a rock song tho xD

Also, Brandon gave me a sushi shirt for his birthday?!????? 

Old bestie seems to be a close friend again // a bestie again, which is super nice. For a bit I was worried we weren’t gonna be homies again ngl ~ ^^; 

Planning a party for next month - looking forward to seeing old faces, but who knows. It might even end up being a dud ... even though a few people specifically went out of their way to have me host a party.

Been off and on practicing the instruments again ~ def prefer practicing keyboard over bass, much more convenient to do. Gonna be ready for them streams eventually ~ 

And suuuuper important. I told my best bestie I was getting p anxious with how many people were at the music festival and she offered to come pick me up / help if I needed, told me to just say the word. It was like a 2h drive for me (shoulda been like 40). Would’ve been like 3h+ for her, and she was at a family thing at the time too!! :0!! Like this is one of the only close homies I’ve had that I’ve never had any sort of falling out with ever, honestly one of my favorite people (not bpd, just in general). Never done me wrong and done right by me so often :) I only wish I could do more for them ):