#long post (not just your fault anon my answer was long too)

[m1d-45]

-Pari Anon

What if Zhongli ended up finding Creator! Pari! Reader?

They were hovering close to where Xiao was fighting when Zhongli ran into them. He, sensing they were some sort of threat, took them with him.

When they don’t return to Xiao after his fight, he gets worried and starts looking for them. They’re typically nearby, out of danger.

Did they get eaten? Are they okay? Poor Xiao is panicking, calling for his little friend.

He finds them with Zhongli. Locked in a cage made of Geo.

Do you think he can convince Zhongli that his little friend isn’t a threat?

(please note that i know nothing about pari lore or behavior-)

i imagine xiao is rather picky about you accompanying him on patrols, always making sure you’re far away from the battle. you’re not to be where monsters can see, where you can get hurt, always at or near where he leaves you.

and you, to your credit, follow this rule fairly well! you watch from afar, typically either playing with butterflies or looking at the flowers around where he left you. you know how he worries, and have been fretted over by him many times, and you’re not keen on stressing him out further.

zhongli had been sensing disturbances in liyue, how the earth is rearranging, leylines shifting and ebbing, as if a restless child finally being out to rest. however, a change in the leylines is never anything safe, not when they’d been utilized by the abyss before. he’d trusted the adepti with it at first, knowing xiao would never allow such a danger to roam liyue unchecked, but it had been too long. he excused himself from the funeral parlor, approaching the area of disturbance himself.

it was… mundane. or, more accurately, par for the course. he heard the sounds of battle, the burning smell of ozone signaling the use of xiao’s vision, but there was no leyline blossom he could see or sense. the hilichurls weren’t stained with curse nor karma, and he decided to ask xiao after he was done. he was confident in his abilities to fight off the enemies, and he might as well get a head start on the search.

nothing. a few chitters from a bird or perhaps squirrel, but nothing disturbed. no marks to the earth, no upturned stones or deep pits, no abnormal elemental flow. and yet, he was certain this was where the cause of the disruptance was from…

he crossed his arms, frowning at his surroundings. it wasn’t xiao, it wasn’t the monsters.. perhaps some infected wildlife?

the birds chirped again. this time, he followed.

a few birds had gathered beneath a tree, surrounding a… pari? he wasn’t aware they even lived in liyue, let alone..

the pari seemed to be playing with the birds. batting a small stone between it and the birds. zhongli approached, uncaring of how the birds flapped away, focused on the twist of the pari looking up at him.

he crouched. “and what are you doing here, hm?”

the park backed away from his hand when he slowly reached out, and his eyes caught on how the grass in front of them seemed to grow quicker, weaving into a sort of shield.

everything clicked at once.

“so you’re the one doing this.”

his hand shot out, folding in the pari’s wings, grip tight. it squirmed and chirped, as if crying for help, but he paid it no mind. his free hand waved, a cage of geo sprouting from the ground, and he locked it inside with little hesitation. he’d have to alert xiao, so he knew why the leylines were acting up-

“rex lapis? what are you doing?”

that was convenient.

zhongli grabbed the top of the cage, turning as he stood. xiao still had his polearm in hand, eyes wide. he seemed frantic… perhaps he did know that this pari was the source of elemental dissonance?

“ah, xiao. i was simply collecting this strange pari-“ he waved at the cage, and the pari flapped its wings almost angrily “-as i believe it is the cause for the disruption of liyue’s balance. i assure you that i am more than equipped to handle this myself.”

“no, that’s not- that-..” xiao seemed to be lost for words, face twisting the longer he looked at the pari. “they’re not a threat.”

he was ready to protest, when he noticed the way the pari was acting. pressed against the side of the cage not to flee, but that was closest to xiao? how odd, he didn’t know that pari were that social-…

“have you been cursed, xiao?”

[alarrytale]

Hey, I always seem to come to this blog whenever I have thoughts I need to share. So I was for the first time in a while getting existed and enjoying the content we're getting from louis at the awards since it felt like something new and different but that was short lived when I was reminded of how he's been treating us larries throughout the years. It's strange cause most of the time it's easier for me to ignore or move past the things Harry does mostly minor things (not like his silence on things or the people that he surrounds himself with) but it's so hard with louis and I'm not trying to start a fandom war of who's best or worse but it's because he always targets us in his social media outrage like out of everything and every rumor or controversy we're the worse thing and it bothers me to no end especially the way he does it, it feels very homophobic and not just a normal denial like most celebs do, some of whom have it just as bad with people speculating on their sexuality and their relationships being fake, especially when they have a bigger platform and are younger but they handle it better and without sounding homophobic, like there are worse people in the fandom or other fandoms but we're always the ones getting attached from the internet on one side and him the other. I know this was long so thank you for reading it till the end 💜

Hi, anon!

With Louis the highs are high, and the lows are low. It's been like that since 2012. I think people deal with it differently and it affects people differently. It's the same with Harry when he's going over the line of what people find acceptable. It impacts us differently.

I know why Louis is doing what he's doing. And i get why he's being so harsh about it and irrational. I think the blow would be harder for us fans actually if he wasn't acting as ridiculous as he is. It's so ridiculous and over the top that we can joke about it and agree that it is ridiculous and an overreaction. I also know he loves us larries and that he isn't homophobic. He's gay and in a relationship with a man. Louis' actions are forced upon him, perhaps not even done by him, while his hands are tied behind his back. He's being sabotaged. That doesn’t excuse what happened, but the circumstances are extenuating. I know his actions doesn’t reflect who he really is, because Larry is actually real.

My problem is opposite yours. I struggle more with Harry's actions. I don't know if it's because he's put himself on a pedestal of morality with his TPWK philosophy, and i therefore hold him to higher standards than i do Louis, or if it's because i struggle more with excusing him. With Louis i know the reason for his behaviour, i'm used to it by now, and i know not to take him seriously and get hurt by it. I still get hurt, but i move on. Either it's done out of insecurity or fear, or it's done by Sony to keep him down and seperate him from Harry (or both).

With Harry it's more about him acting privileged, inconsiderate and making decisions based on money. I can't as easily seperate those actions from his image as i can with Louis's actions from his image. Maybe i expect more of Harry, but he's also Sony's golden goose. I can't blame Sony, fear or insecurity for Harry's actions. Sony didn’t write his Grammy speech or tell him to lift the hammer of Isra*l. Same with the blackfa*e or no mask during Covid. That's ignorance, privilege and decidedly not treating people with kindness.

I agree that it's no use pitting them against each other and starting fandom wars. I think we must learn to respect that we're impacted differently, have different boundaries and have different coping mechanisms. We can still love them both equally, or have our favourites. It's all okay 🤎

[l4long-winded]

carmy’s gf being a very good dirty talker and carm getting flustered and turned on ❤️‍🔥

okay, first off, i am terribly sorry this took so long for me to answer. i was staring at it for ages just trying to think of a scenario where i could implement it. i'm a perfectionist. i procrastinate and i whine about procrastinating and then i panic if i don't have the right setting. and then i remembered... this is for fan consumption, who gives a fuck?

this concept is special to me because, to me, carmen doesn't have a whole lot of experience. it's why i LOVE the sub!carmen agenda. he gets tongue-tied pretty easily when it comes to voicing his emotions and then considering his stutter growing up, it makes sense to me that he would become bashful in the bedroom setting. especially with someone who knows what they're doing.

walk with me, anon. we have much to discuss... (sorry in advance for the title; i got carried away)

o.s. holland cream filled

summary: carmen is trying to keep it together. your talented tongue does not have the same goal (carmen berzatto x afab!reader)

warnings: the title, described anxiety, dirty talk (duh), inexperienced!carmy, pussydrunk!carmy, established relationship, no use of pronouns for reader, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, mentioned handjobs, gold chain mention, praise kink, carmy whimpers, subby!carmy, sort of switch!carmy at the end, implied edging, longwinded descriptions, carmy begs a little, kissing, cursing, carmen's pov, use of "babe" and "baby" (please let me know if there are other warnings i need to add)

word count: 2,018

( this work has been cross-posted to ao3 )

Every sinewy muscle twitches across his back whenever you get to this part, rippling underneath his skin as he pushes forward. He could easily lift his head up and away from where he’s currently got it nestled against your neck, but perhaps this is the masochistic side of him, the same one keeping him in the anxiety hellhole that is the kitchen. His sweaty curls graze your neck, near your jawline, his teeth and lips dragging over your throat. Every sound you make rumbles on him, vocal chords he tries to map out within. He likes to think he’s tasting your moans when he drags the flat of his tongue over your sensitive flesh. Your mouth is so fucking close to his ear right now, and it’s his own damn fault, the consequences of having you like this not unfamiliar. But this is the torture he anticipated and still dove headfirst into.

“You’re stretching me perfectly, Carmy.”

You always say shit like that. It throws off his rhythm, much like it always does, his equilibrium, clumsily attempting to fall back into it after collapsing all of his weight into you for a brief moment. It’s like you’re trying to make him falter on purpose with how you ramble. He doesn’t miss the hiss he ignites from you after accidentally sinking his cock all the way to the hilt from the misfire. His palms create divots in the mattress as he raises himself off you, his gold chain dangling near his chin. He hopes it tempts you enough to bite at it like you did a few nights ago. It would stop you from uttering anything else that’s going to shade his ears rosy and it’d snugly pull him back down chest to chest with you.

“That’s alright, look at me, watch my face,” you reassure him, taunting him without meaning to, directing his focus where he knows is going to both exacerbate and enhance this experience. As his hips continue to hump against you, somehow yanking the blankets and the mattress into handfuls resuming his pace from before, your lips part in ecstasy, desire swimming in your dilated pupils as you stare up at him. “ Good, fucking good, y-your c-cock is so thick,” you blurt, and Carmen’s breathing picks up. The oxygen is depleting quickly from his lungs, speed beginning to build and build.

“There, there, god, fuck me, Carmy, fuck,” you moan, and he maintains where he is. He’s so close, but he wants to ensure you’re feeling good right now, too.

Carmen’s intense blue eyes are latched on yours, his mind racing when you tell him to fuck you. He wants to respond, reply how he is fucking you, but he can’t find his voice. All he can do is grunt and nod his head obediently when you’re like this. As badly as he wants to match your dirty talk, he’s afraid of stuttering, of the vulnerability, of popping his load because every filthy sentence, every pant of his name, threatens to end it all too soon. If he even tries, says anything about your pussy, or your mouth, or your tits, how much he adores your pleasured sounds, that thing you do with your tongue, how you tighten around him and it’s impossible to not to drill his cock harder—

“You wanna cum?” You ask.

Yes, yes, yes, I wanna cum so fucking bad, please, please beg me for it, he thinks, but it doesn’t actually leave from between his lips. He swallows his own spit, instead, nodding his head violently as he breathes short and rapid exhales.

He’s confused when you don’t immediately respond to this thought. Of course, you’re not a mind reader. You’re observant, much like he is. He relies on this skill of yours sometimes because he’s never been good at talking. He seeks comfort in you. While your way with linguistics in this setting sends him reeling, he also needs it, he craves it. He only hates it because he can never last long with it implemented.

Yet, it is nice when you’re whispering your praises into his ear, sliding your spit slick hand up and down his cock, thighs spread over his open legs. You’ve helped him plenty of times during those heavy rushes or while you’re making out on his couch and he’s too tired to give you what you deserve. He likes it close and you know that. That ability of yours is tremendous for instantaneous relief.

You should know to deliver what he needs right at this moment. He’s hanging on by a thread, a thread, where is that stunning talent of yours when he needs it?

“Wanna cum? Wanna f-fill me up ‘til I’m leaking?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck you, what are you doing to him? He’s straining right now, forgetting to breathe as he glances at your features in disbelief, his arms shaking whenever you cup his face into your hands, thumbs occupying the dimples of his cheeks. His hips grind into you in an offbeat fashion, his voice close to whimpering at this point from how he’s holding himself off. Carmen weakly nods again this time, willing his orgasm away by closing his eyes. He can’t lose himself too much in the feeling. In the tantalizing image of his cum spilling out of you when he inevitably pulls out.

“Look at me,” you say, and Carmen’s eyes shut tighter before he pries them open. He really can’t look, but he also can’t stop himself from listening. You’ve got him wrapped up in a trance. He’s doing his best right now to continue, to hear you, to not give into the edge he wants to hurdle over. “You w-wanna cum for me, Carmy?”

It’s the third time now that you’ve asked. Normally, you’re forgiving. You see how frantic he is and you croak about how much you want him to shatter for you, how he deserves it, how he’s earned it. He doesn’t feel like he’s earned it right now, somehow keeping himself at bay, no matter how desperately he needs to release into your cunt. The more he looks at your expectant features, he realizes what it is that you’re waiting for.

He can’t do that. He doesn’t have the sheer willpower for it that you do. He shakes his head slightly, crimson painting his face and neck, a bit of embarrassment coating his perspired skin, recrimination of the damned knitting his eyebrows together. He doesn’t trust himself. The moment the syllables leave his mouth, he’s bound to be floundering around like an idiot, and the only thing in his head right now is how badly he needs to cum. He can’t ruin this moment, and he has a strong feeling that he will.

But those hands of yours stop him from denying it. Your pressure heightens just a touch, just enough to gain his attention back on your face. You level him with an earnest gaze, lashes batting, nose nuzzling up against his in unspoken affection. There’s no doubt in his head that you could continue to talk and help him out here, but you’re waiting on him patiently. He’s got you both of the brink of madness, and you’re withholding on purpose, softly kissing him while his hips fuck into you in a contrasting slick and clapping noise. He knows what you want. He sighs in frustration, resigning himself, because although he could give into the fire, it wouldn’t burn as good without your permission. He lives for how it tempers inside of him.

“Y-yes,” he manages. You’re too cute, the way your face lights up. You swaddle your plush bottom lip between your teeth, eyes flickering with hope and encouragement for him to continue on. Carmen has to inhale first, a gauche tickling traveling up his throat like a spider climbing up a tree, crawling along the lining of his esophagus.

“Yes,” he repeats, “I-... I w-wanna cum.”

Saying it out loud further solidifies it, eroding his self control bit by bit. It’s salient in how the vein in his neck protrudes, and he’s there, he’s about to lose it. He’s going to, feeling his pressure wean the deeper he digs. You’re taking a lot of time looking him over. He wonders if you’re getting off on how needy he is right now, extending this out, when he was good, did exactly what he knows you wanted without having to ask. He’s about to babble and stutter, he’s got it at the tip of his tongue. Your walls tighten suddenly and this time he does fucking whimper.

“... and?”

And? And what? Where are those gratifying admirations of yours for him? He’s done what you want, he’s certain of it, and his balls are heavy right now, thudding into the meat of your ass.

“Baby, please,” he gushes, but you don’t relent. Your walls tighten around him again. His cock twitches in apprehension, almost there, almost letting it go.

It hits him, then. He remembers what you said a while ago. He’s far too gone to think about what this is going to make him look like, his eyes widening with his epiphany. He starts to move faster again, a new flame lit under him.

“And f-fill you up,” he rasps, “f-fill you up, I… I need to f-fill y-you up with my c-cum. Fuck, fuck, fuck, uh, uh, uh.”

Carmen’s fears were correct. He’s a stuttering, whimpering mess, becoming more vocal as he recites your words and then some. He navigates his way back to earth when you kiss him, shutting him up from cursing. He smothers a few more fucks against your mouth, expecting you to let him have it. Only, you don’t. Your half-lidded gaze greets him when you depart, your voice holding tremors on it. You’re close yourself. He has no idea how you can do this to the two of you. Aren’t you as strung out right now as he is?

“Until?”

Carmen almost swallows his tongue with how quickly he inhales, that one word a knife into his abdomen. The muscles there contract and flex, cock throbbing, his fingers close to piercing the mattress. He holds out a little longer, his next exhale opening his mouth, tongue lolling out.

“‘Til… ‘til y’leaking.”

Triumph cascades over him seeing your pleasured grin. He’s unable to hold the dam back any longer when you nod your head. His body molds against yours, a cry leaving his lips whenever he buries himself. He pants against your neck, his arms engulfing you into them. He greedily plucks your body off the mattress, surrounded by him in every aspect. While in his embrace, the stream of his seed goes on and on, expansive pulses before each spurt. You’ve drenched him, arched into a pretty curve, thanked him while you found your own solace, and he thinks he might disappear into thin air from how light he feels.

He doesn’t. He remains sprawled on top of you, the weight of him crushing you from how he refuses to let you go. If you complained, he would roll off, but you don’t. You peck gentle kisses over his shoulder, featherlike.

“Did so good,” you mutter. “You’re perfect. All mine. Please me like no one could. So, so good for me. Such a good b—”

Carmen’s hand covers your mouth, shielding himself from further onslaught. He removes his head from your neck, still out of breath as he looks down at you. The knife through the hand of his tattoo sits sideways, your bright eyes blinking at him. He sees a mix of amusement, desire, mischief, and confusion all rolled up there.

Carmen leans down, kissing his own tattoo. The action might seem insignificant to anyone else, but when he feels your lips purse into his palm as if kissing him back, he knows it’s not insignificant at all.

“Sorry, babe,” he murmurs. He starts to move again. The sinful sound that vibrates against his palm is a muted symphony to him, but he doesn’t take his hand away.

“I wanna last longer this time.”

[doudouma]

Heyo! I'd like to request a top three upper moon x s/o! Reader who is kind of mad at them and refuses to cuddle them (but ends up the one cuddling when they thought that they fell asleep- which they didn't.)

“wait, i thought you were sleeping?!”

upper3 reaction to you cuddling them but you’re angry! _______________________________________________

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

you’re upset at the upper moon trio (separate), but you cuddle them when you thought they fell asleep〜

there are no warnings, my dear lotus.

↑ (reader spooning character, if you’re worried about that.)

reader is gender neutral.❀ 〜

a/n : for some reason, i couldn’t comprehend this request. after all, it was late at night〜apologies my lotus, this request is cute！

！anon, i want to apologize to you. right when i finished writing, i reread the request and realized i slightly misunderstood it, and i do not know how to fix it. i decided to post it anyways. m(_ _)m

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

kokushibo

kokushibo.. your straight-forward silent lover…

he knows why you could potentially be upset, but doesn’t see the purpose of being upset about it.

you were upset at something that happened earlier, and tried to ask for a solution from your beloved〜

he gave you your answer, alright.. but he worded it in a way that might’ve made it seem like it was your fault on what happened.

he didn’t try to! he just tried to get you to realize where exactly it went wrong.

now… he’s just waiting in anticipation for your response.

but instead, you just sit there just trying to pinpoint what his goal in mind was. looking a more upset than before.

forgetting it all, you end up heading to bed, attempting to just relax.

drifting off to sleep (if you’re able to sleep), you suddenly remember that your lover didn’t join you to bed. will a small disagreement split the two of you up into separate rooms tonight?

your eyes quickly widen and see that kokushibo is there, but with his back facing you.

when did he even get in here?! it looks like he’s been here for a minute too. sneaky uppermoon one…

now that you’re relieved, you move closer to him, and place your arm around him to his heart♡

he slightly smiles, only smiles. eventually he tells you as he rest his eyes..

“i apologize for the way i initially communicated with you. we may talk this out tomorrow, with less misunderstandings, (name).”

douma

douma wouldn’t understand why you’re mad at him!

teasing is just his nature! no matter how harsh it is, to him, he’s only speaking out of love.

which he is, but.. he doesn’t consider that other people could find it offensive or annoying.

he’ll listen when you voice your opinion on his absurd way of showing love, but, it’ll only result in more teasing〜

eventually, you get too fed up with his cockiness and foul teasing to the point where you just go to bed! without him!

even while upset at your love, you do fairly want him by your side, even if he is being a little s- -

- -so like i said, he wouldn’t fully understand on why you’re upset, so he’s not giving you any personal space.

therefore, he ends up joining you in bed〜

in bed where it feels like forever, with the both of you facing opposite ways.

you silently look over, and to what it seems like he’s “sleeping”.

soon enough you flip over and spoon him, while a smirk appears on doumas face, as he places his hand on top of yours♡

somehow in a span of three seconds, now he’s spooning you, hugging you while saying,

“oh, my love! i knew you couldn’t stay mad at me for too long〜 oh how much i’ve missed you♡”

akaza

akaza is aware of where this all went wrong, but in his brain (if demons have one atp) he just tried to help.

today was just not the day for you.

maybe someone was being annoying, you lost a fight, woke up on the wrong side of the bed, who knows.

whatever happened, akaza was determined to fix it, because he only wants his lover to be happy!

but… you just wanted to be alone. sometimes alone time is all you need〜

but akaza kept bringing you things you like, kept staying near you, and kept asking if everything was alright♡

you accepted his kindness and offers, but you genuinely just wanted to be alone to recharge, but your lover being persistent as he is only made you feel more annoyed.

you expressed that, but he just kept following you like a lost puppy!

in due time, you end up vaguely telling off akaza for “pestering” you and how you just had a awful day.

he stands there, with a blanket and pillow in his hand, not saying a word as you walk off to bed… and he follows you.

he tucks both of you to bed, and you both lay there facing opposite ways.

you lay there, thinking over your day. you shortly realize that akaza was there for you even at your lowest, but you didn’t see it because you were already upset.

you turn around, and swiftly spoon the “sleeping” akaza, holding his hand〜

he lets out a little chuckle and caresses your hand to tell you,

“i’m sorry for ruining your day even further. but i’m glad to be here for you now. sometimes just a hug is all you need, my love.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

besides me accidentally messing this up, the request was fun to write! i’m trying to dive into other fandoms and post more often. i look forward into having your support, my precious flowers.❀ 〜

[splitster]

answering asks? more likely than you think

i have a feeling it wouldn't go too well... although, to an outsider, a mamuta smacking pom because she's a threat to the flowers would look the exact same as a mamuta smacking pom because its trying to bury her so she can grow, so i don't think any of the other officers would see anything suspect about the interaction

↓ more under the cut!! ↓

HELL YEAHHHHH absolutely I will always draw more Pingo! if you ever have pingo suggestions/requests/questions, my inbox is always open💖

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! WAHHH i do my best when it comes to characterizations... I try to make them all unique and interesting lol

heh... the Dingo enjoyer pipeline... heh....

THIS is a really good question. at the beginning, she doesn't necessarily resent who she is -- she just subconsciously wants for a place to belong, and for people to fit in amongst. she absolutely recognizes she's different but she doesn't fault herself for that, she just focuses on trying to fit in

now, as time passes and she comes to understand people more, her stance might change -- especially if she manages to spend time with people she cares about and makes friends, but ends up getting ousted or otherwise ostracized. at that point, she might idly wish she was someone else.

for the most part though being a wraith is something she doesn't dwell on, it's just a part of her that she accepts without thinking.

this is wonderful news. spread the Dick "Dingo" Ringo truth.

AHH THANK YOU!!! i am continuously floored by the support i receive for both the pom wraith AU and for pingo... i'm very touched that so many people have enjoyed my silly AU, and i'm happy that people like the silly pairing that ended up spawning from it 💖

AUUUGHH this is the pain of answering asks super late... anon if you see this i hope you enjoyed the pom x collin x dingo pics i posted a while back. i will most likely make more in the future too because i think they're cute

collin is the only normal rescue corps officer. he's SOOO normal in comparison so unfortunately it falls to him to be the voice of reason more times than not

YOURE SO RIGHT. it's hard when your coworker is an alien species you know literally nothing about... pom will be fine, she can heal pretty big cracks in her core as long as she stays fed and rests💖

AHHH THANK YOU!! (im assuming you mean collin) i think hes very neat. im picking him up and squeezing him like a stress toy

AUUGHH THANK YOU!! WAH....💖

THANK YALL FOR ALL THE ASKS!!! i try to read each and every one (even if i can't respond to all of them), and i really appreciate all the support and the interesting questions and prompts!! it means the world to me that so many people wanna engage with the stuff i make💖💖

i will continue getting through asks... slowly...

[prettyoatmeal]

pls pls pls pls pls

i need more FWB simon 😭😭

We're Just Friends (FWB!Simon x GN!Reader)

A/N: You need it anon, you got it!! I need to write more hurt/comfort because damn I loved writing this. Post anon is referring to.

GENRE: Hurt/Comfort

Synopsis: You and Simon have established a friends-with-benefits relationship. But the boundaries set in place keep getting overstepped. Your brain his confused, Simon's heartstrings are getting pulled back and fourth, and it isn't exactly your fault. Simon's in denial, and that barrier slowly starts to break.

Word Count: 770

Masterlist here!

***************

"You seemed awfully touchy with others tonight."

"Simon-"

"I don't like the way they were looking at you."

"Are you jealous?"

He grumbled against your skin, feeling his lips pressing small kisses along the crook of your neck through the fabric of his mask. Pushing you further into the countertop in front of you, his grip on your hips was becoming more possessive by the second.

No matter how many times you would tell him, it seemed like it didn't really matter. You two weren't a couple, you're allowed to do your own thing, even if you weren't really trying to. He had a bit of a habit of becoming too touchy or affectionate to your liking in regards to your arrangement, and now it was especially showing through after a little get-together at his flat.

"Relax, they weren't looking at me in any way. And I'm allowed to explore my options."

"I know.. jus' like you to myself sometimes. That's all."

This was becoming too confusing. For yourself, and for him. You'll push him away, remind him your situation isn't longterm, that you're doing this for him and that if someone comes along then you're allowed to pull out. But you couldn't help but think that maybe there was something more that he wasn't telling you. No matter how many times he'll deny it, it was getting a little obvious.

Too obvious.

The way you unintentionally tugged on his heartstrings over and over again, the effect you had placed on him was getting too much to ignore.

Pulling the infuriating fabric of his mask down and breathing in your scent with a long sigh, it was clear he wasn't going to let you go. Not yet at least. Placing the small porcelain dishes into the sink which you had been holding, you turned the tap on to start cleaning them. May as well make yourself useful if you weren't going to move, the clean smell of his dish washing liquid filling your senses.

But as his face nuzzled further into your soft skin, he couldn't get enough of you, his hands gripping at the flesh of your hips, squeezing your waist and pulling you as flush against him as he could. He didn't like the dish washing liquid drowning you out. He was becoming needy, mumbling a few words which only become muffled against you.

But you already got the feeling you knew what he said.

"Don't-" You warned. But he didn't want to listen, cutting you off.

"Please, lovie," he lifted his face from your neck just enough so you could hear him, "please stay. Just one night, just tonight."

He sounded upset almost, his pleading voice lingering with something more than just neediness.

Normally this would've gone no where, but something was telling you to stay. And you weren't sure if it was yourself, or the forces of nature. You knew that accepting will only play with his heart further. You were cruel for promising him you'll stay. But how could you say no to him sounding so sickeningly desperate.

This was getting unhealthy.

"Fine," you answered him reluctantly, "but just this once."

You were pulled away from the sink, and in a matter of minutes, the make-out session had ensued on his bed. A bed that smelled so comfortingly of him. You expected the usual -sloppy kisses followed by your guts getting rearranged by the behemoth of a man on top of you. But that wasn't his plan.

His lips moved slowly against yours, kissing you in the dimmed lights of his bedroom as if he loved you, and left your heart and head confused.

"Need you," he whispered against your plump lips, "I need you like.. like this." laying next to you, his arms wrapped around you with his head pressing against your chest, "please."

All you did sigh and hold him close. It felt wrong. You hoped this wouldn't also become a habit, burying himself closer to your warmth.

"This wasn't part of our agreement."

Silence. His arms around you tightened.

"You're playing with my head."

Silence again.. but this time it was followed by a muffled grumble into the fabric of the Nirvana shirt he gave you for pyjamas, which was considerably oversized on you. Throughout his protests, you could make out a small whine of 'I'm sorry'.

And with a sigh, you reach over to his bedside table to turn the lamp off, cradling his head closer to you as you placed a small kiss on the top of his head.

"Goodnight, Simon. Sweet dreams."

***************

<33 happy November 21st! <3

[milktei]

hi! i really fell in love with your “again” fic with sakusa. it was so amazing & i really liked how you wrote it. i was wondering if you can write another fic with that same concept but with suna?

Fine

Suna Rintarou x Reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Warnings: Suna is probably a bit ooc. not edited

Requests: Open

a/n: first of all i would like to let anon know HOW SORRY I AM FOR TAKING LITERALLY OVER A YEAR TO POST THIS. I LOVE YOU ANON AND IF YOU ARE STILL IN THE FANDOM I HOPE THIS IS OKAY. THIS WAS HALF FINISHED IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG AND I FINALLY BIT THE BULLET

on another note requests are still open somehow but i can’t guarantee that they will be finished efficiently :’)

You weren’t sure when the rift started.

You two were happy, at least you thought you were.

He would bring you little gifts after practice, eat meals with you any chance he got, either plan or agree to go on dates with you.

Until he didn’t.

Maybe he got too comfortable after so long of together. Maybe he thought he didn’t need to do much to woo you anymore. To an extent he didn’t, but him completely failing to put any effort into the relationship hurt.

He was on his phone more, staying at practice late, practically ignoring you when you would hang out, all without any explanation.

One date. One night not spent in an apartment is all you asked for.

After weeks of trying he finally agreed. An awkward dinner were trying to keep a conversation going felt like pulling teeth.

Your displeasure with him was palpable from when you got in the car all they way to his apartment where you two now stood.

“What is it?” he asked with annoyance ringing through the air.

You sighed as you sat on the couch “I…” you swallowed, almost afraid to tell him “I’m not very happy with how today went.”

Suna scoffed, “You’re talking as if that’s fault or something.

You winced “Well it didn’t seem like you were enjoying yourself either.”

He raised an eyebrow at you tone and threw his arms in the air. “I did what you asked y/n! We went on that damn date didn’t we? I even invited you over! What more could you possibly want?”

Time seemed to slow down in that moment. What more could you possibly want? Surely he knew? How could you possibly answer that without making him even more mad?

Clenching your hands, staring angrily at the ground, you could only say what came to mind.

“How did we end up like this Rin? It’s like we’re strangers again.”

For a moment you could have sworn you saw a shift in his posture, a subtle recoil, but it disappeared in a moment and was replaced by a more rigid stance.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you y/n but I’ve been feeling just fine. if you don’t like it you can just leave.”

The venom in his words was unlike anything you have ever heard come from his mouth. This wasn’t the man who you fell in love with. The man who stuttered endlessly when he first asked you out. The same man who took pictures of you any chance he could because you always looked good in his eyes.

No. This man was aloof, uncaring, detached.

He was not your Suna Rintarou.

“Fine.”

A beat of silence.

“Fine?” Suna echoed back. You hated that you couldn’t read any emotions in the tone of voice he used.

“Fine,” you said feeling more confident with your decision.

No longer feeling cemented to where you sat, you grabbed your bag from the couch, storming to the front door where you ripped open the closet to grab your coat. as you jammed your feet into your shoes you took a couple deep breaths.

“So you’re leaving? Just like that?”

You inhaled sharply and turned to him, angry tears filling your eyes. “You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you pointed at him accusingly “not after everything you did, not after everything I did to try to make this work. This isn’t my fault and you don’t get to make it seem like it was.”

The only sound that filled the room was your angry breathing and in a moment you turned on your heel and left the apartment

——————

That memory from months ago rang clear in your mind as you stared at the man in front of you dumbfounded. There he was, standing at your door. He nervously scratched the back of his head as he held out a bouquet of flowers to you

The state he was in was nearly a mirror image of when he first asked you out.

“I’m sorry.”

You had half the mind to slam the door in his face.

But you didn’t

That lovesick part of your brain that you desperately tried to shove back wriggled its way free and you take back the man that had put you through so much pain.

That leads to where the two of you are right now. Months after he showed up with those flowers.

You had initially planned to go to the mall alone, just to buy a friend a gift for their upcoming birthday.

Suna had the day off and when you told him of your plans, he surprised you by asking to tag along.

While at first you were elated to be in his company. A cloud of dread sat in the back of your mind.

He was trying, you could give him that.

Flowers, home cooked meals, cafe dates, and daily calls. Everything you could’ve dreamed and asked for all those months ago.

That was the problem though. He was doing everything you begged for and now you couldn’t tell for the life of you if it was genuine or not.

It was irrational and unhealthy to be thinking this way. To think that Suna was only being a better boyfriend because you asked him to and not because he actually wanted to.

But how could you think any other way with how he had treated you before?

Still, you walked through the mall with him, hand in hand, just like before.

A particular shift caught you eye in a store, one that wasn’t your friends style, but definitely yours. Suna could tell from the look in your eyes that you liked it.

“You thinking of getting that shirt babe? I can get it for you.”

You looked at him like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar and forced out a giggle “No thank you Rin, I was just looking.”

His smile faltered the tiniest bit “Alright.”

The rest of your shopping trip was uneventful and you eventually found what you were looking for.

It was when you got in the car that he tried again, “Why don’t we grab some ice cream before we go home? There’s a new place on the way to your apartment.”

He rejoiced at the subtle excitement that showed on your face

“Only if you would like to. We don’t have to.”

He nearly groaned in despair at your response.

“y/n”

You stiffened in shock at the seriousness in his voice “Yes?”

“Somethings bothering you.”

it wasn’t a question, it was a statement that Suna was waiting for you to confirm.

“What are you talking about?”

He sighed “I’m not going to sit here in silence again when I know somethings wrong. Something has been wrong for a while now.”

“Nothings wrong!” you shout defensively. Shocking even yourself. You turn your gaze to your lap and nervously wrench your hands together.

Silence filled the car

“Well now I’m even less inclined to believe you.”

You let out a sad chuckle at his response and take a deep breath before telling him what’s been on your mind since you got back together.

“It just feels like nothing will ever be like how it used to be.”

He kept silent and you took it as a cue to keep talking. You weren’t sure you would be able to stop even if you tried

“How am I supposed to act like nothing happened! They way you spoke to me back then…and then expected me to stay, getting mad at me for “throwing away” what we had, even though you knew I was unhappy.”

Tears fill your eyes but Suna dared not invade your space in a moment so vulnerable

“Then all of a sudden you come back and I can’t find it in myself to day no because I wanted you to do better so badly- and you are!

You’re putting more effort into this, but I can’t help but feel bitter sweet because I can only think about how your only trying because I asked. I wonder everyday if any of this is genuine or if you’re just comfortable having me around and then one day you’ll realize that this isn’t for you and leave again.”

The amount of despair that filled Suna was immeasurable. His mind filled with doubt and screamed at him at all the ways he could’ve done better and how he never deserved you.

Still, he reached out a hand and waited for you to grab it.

“I should have never let you leave that day y/n. I knew that from the moment that door shut, but I was too stupid, too proud, too afraid of what would happen if I chased after you.”

His grip tightened, “and like a coward I waited, hoping that maybe you would come back instead of me having to take that step.”

Suns let out a self deprecating laugh “It took me way too long to realize that’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Me waiting for all you love on a silver platter when you got none in return.”

He turned as much as he could in his spot and grabbed your other hand. You looked up at his face and almost gasped at the amount of love and earnest that showed on a normally expressionless face.

“I understand that you think that I may only be putting this much effort because you asked. But you shouldn’t be afraid to ask y/n, not anymore. Trust me, while I am doing what you asked it’s also because I want to make you happy. Every time I think about that day I get so angry at the fact that I made you so desperate for the bare minimum.”

“Please y/n, anything you want just ask and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I don’t make you sad again.”

You couldn’t help yourself and leaned across the centre console of the car, hugging him as best as you could as tears finally began to flow.

“How do I know this isn’t just going to go back to the way it was? You could very easily fall back into that habit.” You said through sobs.

“I know” Suna sighed

You pulled back “You know?”

“I know” he confirmed, “but I promise to do whatever I can to make this right y/n, you tell me if your unhappy and I will do my best to fix whatever I’ve done and ensure that we’ll be fine.”

A beat of silence filled the car before you let out a small laugh through your sobs. Suna’s heart fluttered at the first sound of happiness you let escape for the first time in a while.

You lifted a hand and messily wiped away your tears, “This is an awful place to have a heart to heart moment”

He smiled at you with all the love under the sun and cupped your cheek. “There’s a lot that we still need to work through, it’ll take some time. But how about I take you to that ice cream place first?”

You beamed at him, “Okay”

Yeah, you two would be just fine.

[fumifooms]

Hello! Anon Asker again here. Recently got through the latest volume on Kindle with the Dungeon Master arc.

(Spoilers ahead for others...?) Now that we got most of the characters' backstories, I feel the earlier black magic ritual they did for Falin makes a lot more sense.

Marcille is desperate to keep the people she loves alive given her sense of loss and persisting dread about outliving everyone she knows.

Laios (apart from loving his sister) has lingering guilt from having left Falin behind before, exacerbated by her sacrifice and the way she always puts him first.

Then there's Senshi and Chilchuck who have on more than one occasion shown a distaste for magic.

Yet Senshi didn't fight it much and stood by them, because he himself is not a stranger to loss, especially when it comes to loved ones who have sacrificed for others so that one might survive.

But Chilchuck I'm not so sure. He was the most vocal in how against black/ancient magic he was, but also didn't really stop it. Maybe we can attribute it to his own abandonment issues by his wife, or just that he could imagine what it might be like if it was one of his daughters (as we saw in a small chapter art where he had a nightmare of his daughters dead). But I wanted to hear your take on this if in case you do.

Sorry for taking so long to get back to this ask! It’s a layered topic so I procrastinated on polishing my answer.

I think this is super interesting! Especially because we’re coming at this from totally different angles, since reading the manga I never thought that using dark magic didn’t make sense considering the situation or was weird. You’re coming at this at an angle of what personal reasons would make a character do this, while I looked at it in an angle of what social reasons would make a character let it happen. Post gonna be a lil long so I put it under cut! Tldr with your angle though, I think you’ve pretty much got it spot on and I don’t have much to add, I think your take it’s very interesting, and true.

So, why not do dark magic?

Throughout the whole manga, very early on too, we see our characters testing their society’s perception on morality in ways that we see that the moral wall was pretty baseless in the first place, mainly the disgust towards eating monsters for instance. Or sometimes, the morality of characters is lacking to our standards, having a perception we’d see as twisted, like in the kobold extra. Like Marcille talks about in the barometz/direwolves chapter, eating something "filthy" will make you filthy too and that’s why Marcille was innately so opposed to eating monsters. We also see it with the orcs’ chapter for example, Kui tackles a lot of difficult themes with nuance like racism, both the orcs and the elves have their perspective and their big faults in their part in their conflict, but in the end who’s right and who’s wrong isn’t spelled out for the readers. The point is that morality in the manga isn’t set in stone, it’s something that as the reader you draw the line on yourself, and we see that our characters aren’t infallible moral compasses either. The use of magic, too, is left up in the air on how good and moral it is to use, "unnatural" vs efficent vs cheap cop-out vs harmless or harmful.

So for me, when Marcille explained dark magic, how it works and why it’s forbidden, ‘yeah there’s probably a hidden catch in there’ I thought but I was super on board with it. To me, not using dark magic because it’s different and less known would be like not wanting to eat monsters for the same reason: more born out of fear and ignorance than reasonable and rational.

So we’re coming at this from different angles like I said, while you focused on character motivations for being fine with such an unholy act of magic I thought of it in an ambiguous morality and consequences way. So instead of "why should/would they do it?" to me it’s "why not?". And to me it’s a bit like "Well, no one should steal! But if the person really needs to for food, well I could let it go" for the characters’ thought process, though of course the instinctive revulsion and the stakes are much higher. They have all worked really hard to get there, and if there’s a chance it’ll go well then they would try it. Senshi and Chilchuck are much more reticent than the others like you said, but they’re able in the end to either rationalize doing it enough, or just prefer to listen to the directives and see how it goes by taking a more passive role. Not unlike how peer pressure can get you to participate in something you don’t want to do. But to me it’s a lot about growing accustomed to the unknown, hearing about it from Marcille who researches dark magic instead of the half-foot anecdotes about "dark elves" and "dark magic" used to nefarious ends. Which, presumably dark elves don’t even exist, we don’t know exactly what the half-foot definition of dark elves is, it’s a misconception and it’s a boogeyman, which is part of my point.

Where does Chilchuck’s distaste of magic come from? Elves. But by then Marcille, by being an elf herself and being trustworthy and friendly thus far, has started to chip away at these preconceived notions. Maybe what he heard wasn’t foolproof, after all. Under pressure and stakes like they were, people with even an usually very rigid morality may bend a little, steal, etc. To me, even if Chilchuck brought it up later, still very uneasy with it, it didn’t mean that him doing it was unrealistic or weird. People do things half-heartedly or unsure on if it’s the right thing to do sometimes, especially under pressure. Their will wavered while Laios and Marcille’s didn’t, and ultimately that’s what decided what they would do. What’s the other option? Marcille and Laios weren’t going to back down, so what, fight them so they don’t do it? Otherwise they’ll do it anyways with or without you, and then is there even a point to putting up a fight about it or even leaving? You can see the raationalization being done in real time, if you reverse engineer it.

Ironically enough I think this scene set after they do it depicts it perfectly: Chil lays out why he doesn’t like the thought of it, she responds on why dark magic being bad is up for debate, and he goes to argue but ultimately chooses not to and goes along with the group.

But yes it’s an interesting topic! Marcille researches positive uses for ancient magic so of course she’d be ready to use it to revive Falin, Laios has normalized reviving and magic a lot and overly relies on it, and Senshi doesn’t want to do it, but it’s because of his ideal- because of his instinctive recoil at anything that is magical or "unnatural"… Except for the golems. Because of how he sees himself as part of a larger ecosystem and cycle of life that humans shouldn’t have control over, that should know how to sustainably live with nature without getting greedy or cocky… Except for when he idealized Anne the kelpie as his best friend that even though is a monster would never hurt him. He tends to pull away from others socially needlessly, not letting himself grow too close to people or a community, too. Point is, Senshi has his pitfalls and isn’t as inflexible as we might think, and not everything he does is rational or even consistent with his own beliefs under his normal circumstances, though I do think he’s the one who was/should be the most opposed to the reviving character wise.

And I said that Chilchuck’s reason for not liking dark magic is rooted in superstitions and elves and history- and that’s certainly true but it isn’t the full story either. While Senshi’s preoccupied about morals and his world view, Chilchuck is SCARED of it, he thinks of the CONSEQUENCES, not the act itself (though it also def doesn’t charm him either). And not just the direct consequences of what a dark magic resurrection means either, it comes up a lot that Chilchuck is worried for others and for himself, about careers or the law and generally the future, and tends to micromanage them or be on their case because of it. Made a lil compilation below, notice the trend, he’s very focused on what others will do if they learn that they did dark magic, he’s focused on hiding that they did, not grappling with the morality of it as much. He’s very worried about the legality of it. He sees it as a crime but not something that shatters his worldview y’know. And even after Marcille did it and uncovered that she researched dark magic, he still trusts her and her judgement, is only wary of her a but for a bit before going right back to being thick as thieves together.

I was gonna talk about racism as a plot point and through arcs in the series here but I think I made my point without it, so that’ll be a topic for another day. But yeah… Spoilers for the last volume stop here and skip to the last paragraph if you still haven’t read ut all (bless your Kindle reader soul, good luck waiting for the next chapters). Is the winged lion bad? He’s harmful, certainly, but he’s not evil, and at its base it’s an entity without a sense of morality. Dunmeshi tackles morality in a really interesting, typical of seinens way, and unity is another big theme, as much as racism is a narrative tool and plot point the lesson is that putting efforts into befriending people you don’t understand is good. And with some, like the winged lion, that’s not gonna pay off, but everyone deserves to be understood regardless. Narratively that’s why Laios is the character he is, and why we get to learn about Kabru, the orcs, the canaries, Thistle, even the demon, and see it under new lights. Kui is big on critical race theory and sociopolitical issues used in/for storytelling, and it shows. During canon Chilchuck is growing closer to an elf coworker and tentatively giving her his trust, which pays off, and that is enough to make him reconsider wether dark magic is that bad, and think of how much risk he’s willing to get into for the party. Whew got sidetracked by the narrative genius of Dunmeshi and Kui but, the point is that in the story, characters changing their mind on issues and having their viewpoints challenged is very much common and important.

Sooo yeah! As I said I do enjoy your perspective as well, I’d never thought of it that way so it was interesting. Hopefully this is an insightful post and not just a load of nothing that wasn’t relevant to your question haha. But yeah, while reading I truly approached it from a "why not" angle, instead of a "why yes". They don’t like the method but they do want Falin to live, which makes it easier to dirty their hands for. Wash your hands of it and don’t think about it too much afterwards. (Top 10 reasons why it’ll backfire! none of them will surprise you 🌟)

[fiveredlights]

matthew and callan is literally the reincarnation of maxiel i'm so curious about them so like the monza really happened because of that jealousy incident? TELL ME MOREEEEE

long response under the cut, thank you for the ask anon! love rambling about my fics, if it was a full time job i would excel at it! (plus a little snippet from the bonus scene i’ll probably post from monza)

matthew and callan are really interesting because i had full intentions to seperate them from maxiel as much as possible—i thought it would be very boring to just have max and daniel and then their next gen counterparts in a fic—but then they grew legs and ran away from me. like i promise i wasn’t trying to make them maxiel 2.0 but i guess maxiel is just too strong sometimes… i think i truly realised this chapter when michelle texted daniel and she was like “oh me and max text sometimes” and i was like wait……. why does that sound familiar….. then i gave up and fully leaned into it

now anon one thing about me is that i have shit poor memory. like i am the human equivalent of a goldfish so when you said monza jealously incident i was like “what jealously incident???” and honestly i am still not exactly sure what that means…. i think (maybe) you’re referring to the authors note where i mentioned that matthew was unreasonably upset over callan’s new partner and i now realise that i should’ve given more context in that this happens after monza. matthew does not hit callan because he’s jealous that callan has a partner.

i’ll give you the texts but like i’m really emphasising that they’re deleted for a reason… to me it is just incredibly out of place and it was never gonna make it in

there are no real motivations (that we know of) that cause the monza incident. i think it’s sometimes the case that teammates just crash, you know? but also from callan’s perspective, he’s had a bad start to the second half of the season, a q1 knockout, a dnf throught his own doing, and also why the fuck was matthew with his sister??? and also he hasn’t beat matthew in the head to heads since monaco (of the ones that i’ve shown) and that was back in may.

matthew has slowly started to infiltrate into his walls even more, and he doesn’t NOT know how to deal with it… here’s a little bit from the bonus scene:

“I know what it’s like to…care about someone who's destined for greatness or whatever,” Daniel carefully says and Callan isn’t stupid.

He’s seen the times. He knows Matthew is slowly creeping up on his laps, taking a tenth here or there and it’ll only be time before those tenths mean being ahead of Callan.

(Depressingly, he suddenly realises, Matthew has been ahead of Callan. It’s been like that since Monaco.)

The media says they’re siblings, they say they’re friends but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes he’ll catch Daniel looking between them like he’s expecting something there, searching for some invisible thing Callan quite can’t define yet.

Sometimes, he thinks Daniel knows exactly what’s running through his mind when he looks at his teammate.

Sometimes, Callan thinks he’s right.

at this point callan knows there’s ~something~ there but does not want to open that door. he wants that door BOLTED. matthew has no clue. all teammates must surely act like this and if you remember, he specifically states that he watched max and daniel as his drivers growing up and we know how batshit insane they were in 2016-2018 so… in a roundabout way this could be daniel’s fault if you think about it

matthew’s also been pretty lucky. he’s only had one bad season with the team, his first one where callan has had to sit through bad cars and bad decisions since 2025. this is the first time in four years things have started to work. so yeah, maybe he’s a little bit annoyed that the matthew gets to reap all the benefits whilst he’s been labouring away for years on how to get this car moving.

i don’t know if that answers any of your questions i just came back from dinner and blurted it all out…

[aihoshiino]

Hi there! I recently found your blog and absolutely love your takes on Ai and OnK in general (I desperately cling on anything Ai related, too much of an Ai simp). I was wondering what do you think on the last line of 15 year lie movie "Sorry, I can't love you", do you think Ai genuinely loved Kamiki or tried to very hard? Because in the end they still broke up but we don't actually know why, I sometimes wonder if Ai would've went back together with Kamiki when she finally learns how to truly love someone (that one question about marriage in the Da Vinci interview made me think about KamiAi a lot). I'm still so torn up between hating Kamiki for killing Ai but also, he just looks so good, I can't blame Ai for falling for him…I'm so sorry for rambling lol

Hello anon!! I'm so sorry you had to wait so long for a response on this lol. But uh, this also means that I have more source text to draw on when answering this question so if you think about it, I'm the chessmaster here???

More seriously, I had chatted about this in a previous post before and my speculation there was that while the two of them did form a genuine bond and may have had serious feelings for each other, Ai simply wasn't in the right emotional space at the time to be able to say a sincere 'I love you' to him. This was neither of their faults - the unfortunate reality was that they were both deeply damaged kids trying to find solace in each other and I think even a perfectly healthy kid without Ai's particular hangups probably has some trouble articulating what the fuck love even is at that age, when you're just starting to experience big, scary adult feelings for the first time, all filtered through hormones and big upheavals in your life.

So I do think Ai did her very best to love Kamiki. It's possible that she did genuinely love him but had similar hangups to the ones that prevented her from expressing her feelings to the twins. It wasn't until literally the last seconds of her life that she was able to recognize her feelings as 'love' after all, so I can really easily see Ai expressing "I can't love you" to Kamiki as an apology and an admission of weakness - she can't give him love because she views herself as a person who cannot sincerely love other people without it being a lie, but she can still care for him, uplift and support him. She can essentially 'perform' love by choice even if it's not something she feels she can give him sincerely. Or at least that's my take on things right now, based on what we know about Ai as a person.

I'm not too sure about how that relationship might have changed or evolved in an Ai Lives AU but it's really fascinating to think about… it's hard to speculate too deeply given how little we know about the circumstances of their breakup and Kamiki's feelings about Ai in the time between that and the murder, but I don't know that Ai would have wanted to return to a relationship with him - she seems pretty firm about not wanting to get back with him when the possibility is floated during their call, but that of course takes place before she has that final moment of epiphany regarding love. So who's to say?

[circe69]

I read your rules and I hope this isn’t too dark but can you do a Simon x reader where the reader has an identical twin and they die during the graves betrayal scene and the aftermath is Simon comforting the reader? Like they were already crushing on each other and he’s comforting her.. thank you💚

I Wish For Simon

a/n - anon i am so sorry it took me so long to answer this, i'm terrible w requests! i want to make it perfect before i post, so hopefully this is what you wanted... wc: 1.1k cw: gore, violence, suggestive themes, probably the best thing i've ever written (yeah its a warning cause YOU'LL BE BAWLING)

fav line from the fic - “That voice could seduce anyone, I was sure of it. It was as if God himself had dipped Simon's vocal cords in a pot of warm honey, then lit it on fire.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Me and my twin had always been close, we had to be. "Best friends since birth", we'd been deemed from before we could even speak. Alyssa and I were quite the pair and had exceeded our hometown's problematically low expectations of woman in a whole when the both of us had been assigned to serve in the 141 Task Force.

It was a change of pace, but one that I wanted. I had prepared for something like this my whole life, training and worked myself to death just to have a chance to serve. Alyssa, on the other hand, wasn't as keen on the idea. Sometimes I wonder if she just joined because she couldn't bear to be apart from me. I love the sentiment, but we were grown adults, we couldn't afford to make decisions solely due to separation anxiety.

That brings us to today, March 3rd. I hate March 3rd.

My birthday. Well, our birthday.

I hate today because as of now, I have to celebrate it alone. It's been years since Alyssa died, and I still act just as immature and "kid-like" when March 3rd rolls around every year.

Her death had been nothing short of a "hostage dump", my sister had been counted as a waste of time to Graves, someone who wouldn't make a difference to anyone in the force, so why would he keep her?

I can't help but think it was my fault, but I didn't have time to feel sorry for something I might've done. All I felt was anger, hot rage bringing my blood to a boil, all which contributed to what I was about to do. Anger is difficult to overcome, especially when it's brought on by confusion, something happened that you barely knew anything about. I wanted to take it upon myself to strip Graves of all the "information" I felt I was missing, I wanted to skin him alive and make him answer questions as I did it, but as I rose my knife behind Graves’ wall of a body, a hand stopped me.

A silent move, not a scary one. I immediately knew who it was once I saw the fabric.

Ghost.

His hand was heavy around my wrist, his height towering over me, it was all too much for me to focus on, so I did what I'm positive Ghost was trying to make me do, I backed down.

I retreated as quietly as I could, putting my blade back in its embrace of a pocket and followed Ghost out the door, trying to excuse whoever that woman was in there that she hadn't had enough sleep, she was hungry and just wanted to feel something, but Ghost had none of it.

"It's okay, Y/N, to want to avenge someone. It's okay to be bloodthirsty and feel yourself make allowances for it. It's okay."

Ghost was a man of many attributes, but comforting was never one of them. He himself had attended multiple therapy sessions throughout the entirety of our relationship, but they only lasted so long before he strangled the shrink.

I liked Ghost. I admired him, I admired what his life had amounted to. Perhaps worthless to him, a soul placed in the wrong hands, but I thought quite the opposite.

"You're a good man, Simon."

His name slipped out of my mouth.

No.

Oh no.

I had gotten too emotional, I felt myself crawling into a hole of feelings and a strong desire to cry rushed over me. I suddenly imagined all the times I'd watched Simon do simple, mundane things, and stared at him long enough to read his dog tags over and over and over. I'd recited his name in my head, in my dreams, for so long and I still was shocked when I'd heard myself say it.

His eyes locked with mine. Dark, deep, dead, he'd like to contribute, but I chuckle mentally as I think about how the man who views himself as dead was the only one in the world who made me feel as alive as he did.

"What did you say?" That voice could seduce anyone, I was sure of it. It was as if God himself had dipped Simon's vocal cords in a pot of warm honey, then lit it on fire.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I shouldn't have addressed you like that, my apologies." I started to walk away when his body came crashing against mine. My back hit a jagged wall and I groaned in pain, but I quieted down when I realized just how close he was to me. I felt him against me, and I couldn't feel it fast enough. My senses heightened, my pupils dilated, and my face flushed with a dark shade of aflame red. Both of our breathing was shallow and heavy, every breath he emitted made mine deeper, louder.

I could feel the confusion seeping off of him. He didn't want it to feel so good when his name left my mouth. He didn't want to enjoy it, but it was inevitable. A no-good name slipping out of a no-good mouth, it was bound to happen at some point.

I shook off my daydream, finding myself at an empty table in an empty dining hall, the only thing in front of me was a poorly made cupcake, pink frosting, sprinkles, all the works. I stared at a candle, half of it had already melted mind you, and my mind reeled as I stalked my mental drawers for wishes I hadn't made yet,

"I wish for Simon." My voice broke as I said it, and I realized I hadn't spoken all day until now.

I don't truly believe that's why my voice broke, however. I truly did love Simon, I loved him in everything he did and everything he didn't. I loved the fact that he never exhibited any sort of emotion except for denial and force. I loved how scared he was of feeling anything else.

A tear dropped onto the table below me, the chair screeched as I stood, and everything was happening too fast. Before I knew it, tears were pouring out of me at an uncontrollable rate. I turned around and started heading for the door, telling myself that I would leave that stupid wish behind with the melted wax, but I was stopped in my tracks when I saw who was leaning against the doorway with those beautifully built forearms crossing his chest.

He had heard it, was all I could think as I made intense eye contact with him. With everything else.

His mask was discarded. I couldn't stop my jaw from unhinging, I felt it click open slowly and it dropped until it couldn't anymore.

Simon smiled at the action. His white teeth contrasting his pink lips. I looked back at the table for a fraction of a second to see that the flame I had left untouched had been blown out, maybe it was the wind, maybe it was the spirit of my once-lonely-self making an appearance for the last time.

I looked back at Simon like a child on Christmas.

Maybe I'd keep wishing for stupid things if they'd work as well as this one did.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

a/n part two : happy new years everyone! i probably won’t post till monday, but i wish you all the best and love💕

[brother-lipsmackariah]

Jem Carstairs!

Now, be ready for LONG post, anon. You can't just ask about Jem and expect to be brief

Sexuality headcanon

Definitely Demisexual. With Tessa, I always felt like Jem became attracted to her AFTER they were already close friends and besides that one line in After the Bridge, there's no signs of Jem being attracted to anyone. He also doesn't even think of anyone besides Tessa in that, he's too oblivious.

Also, not a sexuality but I ADORE the idea of Non-binary Jem

OTP

Jem x Himself (literally and metaphorically both). While I love Jessa and until recently, didn't ship Jem with anyone else, I don't believe Tessa loves him as much as she loves W*ll, CC wrote her that way and tid books are proof.

The only person good enough for Jem is HIMSELF.

BROTP

Jem and Church, my soulmates!!!!

And even though I hate W*ll, I love Heronstairs. Well, to be specific, I love how dedicated W*ll is to Jem.

Brother Zachariah and Brother Enoch are also cute.

NOTP

Heronstairs as a romantic ship is a big No. Just no. Let people have close platonic relationships for fuck's sake.

First headcanon that pops into my head

Jem posts violin covers + his original songs on Tiktok, Instagram, and YouTube and his comment section is filled with people trying their best (and failing) to respectfully thirst over him.

Later when Mina does the same, and posts videos with her dad, HER comment section is "can your dad fight"

Oh and he's very kinky

Favorite line from this character

So, SO many to the point he would simply say "hm" and I would cry of happiness.

But the ones that that pop into my head rn are "my apologies" *corset rip* "to antiquity"

"We are all the pieces of what we remember. We hold in ourselves the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there is love and memory, there is no true loss."

"She could be anything she pleased. She was everything already."

"You hurt everyone. Everyone whose life you touch." And "Alone? Whose fault is that?" (DESTROY HIM, JEM)

"Unless there were secret Silent Brother orgies I wasn't invited to. I always worried I might not have been popular"

"If you insist. W-H-O"

One way in which I relate to this character

Our love for cats, our inability to let go of things, our insecurity. While there are some similarities, Jem is the opposite of me in many ways, and that is one of the reasons why I can love him so much. Everything I am not.

The thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Jem. My love, my darling. My Jian Ming.....LOOK IN THE DAMN MIRROR!!

Sometimes, I think someone has put a curse on him to never see his beauty because WHAT THE HELL?? He can recognise everyone's beauty but not his own? I think he might need glasses.

Oh, and sometimes he's so fucking horny, like geez

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

The furthest from problematic a character has EVER been

Send me a character and I'll answer these questions

[scooburst]

I’m a coward? No you are you won’t even answer my asks because you’re scared too. You know I’m right anyway, you say yourself that you’re just annoying and stupid and I agree, but now you call me a hypocrite for saying jt genuinely? Im not going to stop just cuz you asked or because your mutuals are mad. Whatre they even gonna do Anywya. You won’t even do anything about it, just leaving it to them. This is your fault.

oh. That’s a lot of words.

Long post warning.

But honestly I’m kinda tired of you. I know you’re just saying this for your own satisfaction of making someone feel shitty, but honestly this is pathetic. Can’t even come up with your own shit. I know you’ve just scrolled through to find something to use against me and dug up my vent posts. I don’t even know what I did to you. But you’re really calling me a coward for not answering? You’re a coward for not coming off of anon. Who the fuck even are you?? And you really go and say I’m jsut going to let everyone else stand up for me? I didn’t ask them too. I wouldn’t have cared if they all just ignored this. But they did and they’re good people for it.

And let’s see what other bullshit you said. Oh, I’m not doing anything about it. Right. Well guess what, I’m standing up for myslef now.

And yeah maybe I said I was annoying and stupid but that’s just some self deprecation I deal with at times. That doesn’t give you an excuse to go and say all this shit. Once was enough. You can go now.

I bet if I turned off anon, you would leave becuase you’re so scared that I or anyone else would go after you, so you hide behind the anonymous cover. So I’ll turn it off. Let’s see what you do now.

[bookishfeylin]

I joined this fandom loving Feyre, loving Feysand, loving the IC, just overall loving everything about the books. As such, I looked at the super pro-Feysand and such content. This was a mistake, as the longer I spend on diehard stan content, the more I want to punch walls. There's nothing wrong with loving Feyre, or even thinking Feysand is a cute couple you ship, but there are people who just deny them of ever having done wrong (not even to each other, just in general), or that Sarah didn't make some major oversights. The big thing I think of is Feyre as a high lady. I actually liked the whole "high lady" thing when I first read the series, but now I'm realizing how stupid it is. Feyre is wonderful, but she is still a 20 year old who has no formal training in accounting, in leadership, in politics, or any of the necessary requirements. You can't run for president until at least 35 for a reason. She can be as sweet as she wants, and host all the free painting classes, and be as motherly as possible, but when push comes to shove that won't lead a country. These people out here claiming "ah yes, Rhysand is pretty much retired at this point Feyre leads the whole nation and she's just the perfect High Lady" yadda yadda yadda, no. Also, I've discovered some people stan her destruction of the Spring Court? I'm not even pro Tamlin and I can accept that is absolutely not cool. Was it largely his own fault? Sure! But there was a necessary catalyst, and that's what they refuse to accept.

Anyway I'm just babbling at this point, but very few people in this fandom actually accept that Feyre is capable of wrongdoing (and that's okay! perfect characters are boring to read! you can love characters despite them being flawed!) AND can bear to tolerate a difference of opinion. Curate your fandom experience how you want it's your life, but don't be shocked when someone comes in with a valid point.

You've probably answered this 8000 times before, but what's your opinion on the whole "High Lady" thing?

Hi anon! This entire ask was such a pleasure to receive, and your ranting is perfectly fine (goodness knows I rant a LOT on a lot of my analysis posts in particular—). I actually have feelings™️ about the fall of Spring (though that is a post for another time and it’s something I’ve talked about before but I’ll keep from discussing it here so this post won’t be too long lol), but the High Lady thing is also something I have strong opinions on as well.

While I do understand Feyre's age and political inexperience being something that people get hung up on, I haven’t talked about it as much mainly because it’s not as big of a stickler for me. The main issue, for me, with the title of High Lady is that it is an empty title. No amount of Rhysand saying “look you have droplets of power from other people clearly you’re a ruler” changes that Feyre was not actually hand picked by magic to rule as defined by the (admittedly barebones) magic system we get. I talk about it more in this post, but ACOTAR 1 spells out that Hugh Lords are chosen by magic and as a result have a unique connection to their land and people. (PLEASE go read that post for the exact quotes I use and my discussion of said quotes!) Feyre lacks this connection, and is therefore not a real High Lady in any sense. It is merely an empty title, given to her to placate her and make her (and by extension her fans) feel like she has more power in her unbalanced relationship than she does, which is why she and many Feysand stans were blindsided by Rhysand's actions in ACOSF.

I say this, not maliciously, because anyone who’s read my content for any long period of time knows I’m actually very fond of book 1 Feyre in particular, but to point out that it’s merely another tactic by Rhysand to manipulate her. Feyre is left completely vulnerable and completely at her husband's mercy due to her incorrect belief that she has more power in their dynamic than she actually does, a dynamic that is showcased and exploited to the worst degree in ACOSF, and it’s largely possible because Feyre is not a legitimate High Lady in the full sense of the title who is owed her subjects loyalty and devotion the same way her husband is. It’s very tragic, actually, and it’s wild to me that the whole fandom fell for it.

[intosnarkness]

hi I love your writing!! what about 61. “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married.” with kanej?

Come off anon and say that to my face so we can kiss because I need more Six of Crows friends to scream about plot ideas with. Also I hope you wanted 2500 words. I may post this on AO3 in the future, who knows.

This had to go this way or I would just be recreating "come to me in red" which is a fucking killer story and you should read it if you like this trope. Forgive typos, written and not proofread. (1 2 or make up your own) (ask)

It's not Kaz's fault. It's not anything wrong with him that made her start to doubt. He had been nothing but willing to try, to fight, to concede steps for her needs.

But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for either of them to have him on land and her at sea. It wasn't enough to spend a week together every three months. And when that last week - their fifth week together in over a year - had gone so badly, well.

"What are we doing?" she asked, after the second time she woke up with his arms around her and he woke up with her knife biting into his throat in defense.

"What are we doing?" she asked, after a brush of her fingertips had sent him spiraling, retching in the corner in a blind panic for the third time.

"What are we doing?" she asked, watching Jesper and Wylan hold hands as they walked through the streets, unafraid to be tied to each other. Neither of them frightened or fighting or hurting each other. Healthy. Whole.

He had no answers for her. No reasons that they should keep going beyond that he loves her. And she doesn't know if them loving each other is enough.

"Marry me," Kaz had said, on his knee in his bedroom, the night before she was due to leave again. "We'll get through it. It's hard now because we're just starting. It will get easier, and I don't want it to get easier with anyone else."

Somehow, it hurt that it wasn't a question. It hurt that he thought a couple of bands of gold could fix all the things that were broken in them. It hurt that she knew - she knew - that he could get past his issues. He was too stubborn, too determined not to. What she didn't know was if she could. If she would ever be well. If she would ever be able to accept the limitations that life and tragedy and trauma put on them.

It hurt that she loved him. And it hurt that he loved her, too.

"No," she told him, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She didn't tell him he deserved better, because he would fight her on that. She didn't tell him that he was insane to think this would change anything, because he probably knew. She didn't tell him that she wasn't going to stay in Ketterdam and he wasn't going to leave, because he wasn't asking her to. All Inej knew was that she had to stop this before it destroyed them both, so instead she closed her eyes and bit her lip and lied.

"I don't want to marry you. I don't want to be yours," she had swallowed the tears that welled up in her throat, forcing herself over the edge. "I don't want you to tie me down."

It broke her heart, but she knew it was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do. It was all she could do.

"Inej--" it was too hard. It was too painful. It was too much.

She left before he could beg her to reconsider, and went back to her ship. And when they left the next morning, Inej pretended not to see the glint of silver in the shadows, watching them head for the horizon.

---

The letter is in a drop at Bhez Ju, but Inej assumes there are identical ones in Os Kervo and Shriftport and every other place the Wraith makes supply stops. She doesn't get much mail from Ketterdam these days, not since she walked out on Kaz. There had been a time when they were always waiting, neat lines of prose that she could imagine were full of longing. Letters inscribed by that careful hand that had held hers, that had bandaged her wounds.

But those stopped years ago, and now she gets occasional life stories from Jesper, or sweet missives from Nina, or business updates from Wylan, who has taken over Kaz's job of surveilling the merchers for slave activities.

She writes back, but she never asks what she wants to know.

How is he? Is he happy? Is he healing?

She doesn't get to know things like that anymore. It isn't fair for her to ask.

But the letter she picks up, six years after she went to sea and five years after she last saw Kaz, has that same careful handwriting that she's missed so much.

To his credit, it's not an invitation to the event. It's just an announcement. And it breaks her heart all over again. Because Councilwoman and Mrs. Radmakker are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Annemieke to the Honorable Kaz Brekker.

Her world doesn't end. It seems like it should, but Inej doesn't feel anything but numb at the words in front of her. Had she thought he wouldn't move on? Had she thought he would wait for her to come back? She never planned to come back, why would he be carrying that torch? That's never been who Kaz was.

But she hasn't moved on. She has waited. She hasn't loved anyone since him, and she isn't sure if she ever can. If she's just to twisted up and ugly inside to ever give herself to another person, after so much of herself was taken from her. She might have planned to let him go, to let him find his happiness in arms that aren't hers. But now, faced with the truth of it, Inej knows she can't. She can't let Kaz marry some mercher's daughter without at least telling him how she feels. She owes him that.

The heart is an arrow, she thinks as she walks back to the ship and tells Spect to recall the crew and set a course to Ketterdam. They have two weeks before the date on the announcement, and she doesn't intend to miss the love of her life walking down the aisle.

------

Summer storms on the true sea delay their return, and Inej finds herself sprinting through the streets of Ketterdam on the day of Kaz's wedding.

Someone at the docks had known about it - a plus to coming in to Fifth Harbor. He's getting married in the Church of Barter. Saints. What the Kaz she knew would say about that.

Still, at least it's not some roadside chapel where the pomp and circumstance would be done by 10 bells. Weddings at the Church are all-day affairs. It's perverse, to Inej's mind. There are all kinds of caveats; the wedding party has to clean the space in the morning to show their industry. The bride and groom have to hold an auction before the ceremony, selling something together to symbolize their intention of being a profitable union. Then they have to make a purchase of either land or goods from a fellow parishioner, which they tithe back to the Church.

In bigger cases - and this will be a bigger case - the auction can last hours, rich merchers elbowing each other out of the way to show their devotion, raising bids a cent at a time. The sale can last just as long, depending on who shows up to sell what. Having your offering chosen by the couple is an honor. It will be in the paper tomorrow, who the Brekkers gave their kruge to.

Only after that will they sign the contract and seal the union.

Capitalism as a religion is weird, and even after all the years she spent living in it, Inej knows she will never understand anything about the Ghezenite church.

But at least there are breaks between the auction and the purchase, and before the contract signing. Time for the couple to reflect and thank Ghezen for their prosperity. There's a chance. She's holding tightly to the chance that she will be able to get there in time to see Kaz.

She arrives, out of breath and sweating, on the steps of the church as the auction is wrapping up. The doors are open, and she sees Kaz next to a beautiful blond woman, as tall as him and just as pale, at the front of the room.

He's wearing gloves. Its the first thing she sees, his hands are covered. They're white, and they go with his tuxedo, but they're gloves. He isn't standing next to his bride bare-handed, like she had always imagined he would with her. They they'd stand knee-deep in the flowers her family would throw at them, his fingers bare against hers, as they pledged their lives to each other.

But she gave that up, years ago. She gave up the right to even imagine it.

Still, she climbs.

The groom's suite is hidden in one of the fingers, which is no challenge for Inej to scale and slide in the open window of.

In fact, part of her wonders if the window was left open for her. If he wants her to come in. But it seems more likely that he wanted air, because every room in the Church is either too big or too small; there's no concern for comfort in the world of profit.

Inej waits. She doesn't bother to sit, or to hide. She just stands in the room and waits for him.

It probably takes an hour before she hears voices - and she knows those voices! - coming down the hall, laughing and chatting happily. It's Kaz, she can hear his low rumbled laugh at whatever Jesper is saying in his smooth lilt. They're coming, and she's standing here and she doesn't know what to say.

When he enters, he does so alone, apparently having sent Jesper on somewhere else. He doesn't look at her. He just takes the silly top hat from his head and lays it on the dressing table next to the door before speaking.

"Hello, Inej," he says. His voice is a practiced neutral

After all these years, it's a dagger through her. He still sees her. He still knows where she is.

"Hello, Kaz," she replies, and neither of them moves. He doesn't look at her.

But it's now or never. It's now or he goes downstairs to make his purchase and sign his contract and live in bliss with his new bride. He goes to forget her forever.

The words bubble out of her mouth unbidden, the arrow that is her heart pulling them out and firing them at him. "I love you," she says. "I'm completely and utterly in love with you. Please don't get married."

Kaz has the audacity to laugh, bracing both of the hands on the table in front of him. Almost doubled over from how funny he finds it all.

"You lost the right to say any of that to me five years ago," he tells her, when he's done laughing at her. Inej feels heat in her face, but she knows he's right. She has no business being here.

"That action will have no echo," she offers, but it's not enough. What could ever be enough to erase what she did? The damage she caused by walking away and staying away. "I was 18, and I was scared. I thought I'd never be better for you. I--" she swallows the lump in her throat. "I was wrong."

Kaz finally turns to look at her, his eyes as cold and dead as they ever were for his enemies. She misses the warm brown of fresh dirt, the way he used to look at her like she was something special. Something worth having.

He probably looks at Annemieke Radmakker like that now. Inej hopes the other woman knows how lucky she is, to be on the receiving end of those eyes.

"You left," he says, his voice rising. "And you never came back. You left and you never answered my letters. You left me, Inej. And now you think you have the right to show up and ruin this?"

His anger has always been frightening to her - she was trained very specifically to respond in certain ways to a man's anger. She has worked very hard to not cower and cry when she's faced with an irate man these days. To not behave like Heleen forced her to.

"I did," she agrees. "And I was wrong. And I don't have the right. But I-- but you sent me the announcement, Kaz. What did you think I would do?"

His eyes betray him for a bare moment, emotion flickering through them that she can still read. He's angry, yes. Very. But he was hoping she'd come.

"Why are you marrying her?" Inej asks, her courage roaring in her ears like the sea in a storm. She even dares to take a step towards him.

Kaz shakes his head. "It's political," he admits with a shrug of his shoulders. "She knows it. She doesn't-- she doesn't care. She's in love with her maid, and I have no problem with the two of them carrying on as long as they wish."

Inej dares to reach forward and take his hand. "Do you want to marry her?"

His anger wins, and Kaz snaps his hand away from her with an injured noise. "None of your business," he hisses. "You left."

"And you called me back," she says. "Kaz. Don't go through with it. Don't marry her."

"What do you suggest?" he snaps. "That I go tell the councilman that I don't want his alliance? That I don't want his help in shutting down indentures in Kerch? That I changed my mind because the woman who broke my fucking heart five years ago just showed up and I'm going to let her hurt me again?"

Inej feels the words like a blow. shutting down indentures in Kerch. He's still trying. He's still working on her mission, after all this time. And he's willing to marry someone he doesn't love and who doesn't love him to get it done.

"There has to be another way," she says, but before she can go further, there's a knock at the door, and Jesper's voice is ringing through it.

"Boss? Time for the purchase."

Inej reaches for his hand again, and this time he lets her take it. "Please," she breathes. "I-- please. I won't run away again. I won't hurt you, not on purpose. I won't. I won't."

She's desperate, her voice thin and reedy. She's begging, and she thinks in any other situation it would be humiliating. Kaz hesitates, looking between the door and where her hand is gripping his.

And then it's like a dam breaks, all the things that Kaz has been holding back erupting out of him because he takes a single step into her space and his hands are cupping her cheeks and he's kissing her with so much hunger, and anger, and passion that Inej thinks if it's the only kiss they ever get to have again, it might be enough.

She starts at the contact, but the shock and the memory it brings passes; she grabs his lapels, pulling his body flush with hers. It feels so right, so good, that she can’t remember for a moment why they ever stopped doing it.

And then he breaks away, his eyes scanning her face and his breath coming in soft little pants as he tries to maintain composure. Jesper knocks again, and Inej starts at the noise.

"Kaz? You okay?"

"Please," Inej whispers again, leaning into the warmth of him.

"Do you mean it?" Kaz whispers back, letting his head fall so their foreheads are pressed together. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," Inej says, and nothing has ever been more true in her entire life. She loves him. She has always loved him. "And if you want I'll go down there myself and complete that terrible ceremony with you right now. Please."

"Okay," Kaz says, stepping back out of her grasp and straightening his jacket. "I-- I'll go and I'll put a stop to it. But we are going to have a talk."

Inej can't help the tears that spring, unbidden, to her eyes, and run down her cheeks. "Really?"

"We'll end indentures another way," he says, and he squeezes her hand once before he turns to the door. "Wait for me?"

She nods. "Always."

[not-your-teddy-bear]

hello hello 🫶 may i request something like sooyoung is mad at r but it’s cold and she still gives r her jacket, if u want thank u ☺️

hi anon! sorry it took so long to answer this request! hope it’s what you were looking for :)

breathing fire (don’t wake the dragon)

pairing : gender neutral!reader x idol!sooyoung

summary : even when she’s mad at you, sooyoung always cares.

warnings : none that i can think of :)

requested : yep!

notes : just a reminder that i am not longer taking snsd requests! i’m just catching up on old ones :) cross-posted on ao3 (yourteddybear)

"Babe, come back!"

Damn Sooyoung and her long ass legs.

Running to catch up to her, you frantically analyse every single thing you’ve done since you woke up this morning. Hell, you’re even thinking about what you could’ve done in her dream to make her so mad. It wouldn’t be the first time she got upset at you for messing up in her dreams.

“Oh, so now I’m your babe?” You had never heard her use that tone before, and you could only shrink under her gaze in response.

“What are you talking about? You’re always my babe.”

“It didn’t seem like it at dinner.”

Oh. I should have known.

“Baby, she was a nobody! She was just our waitress!” Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to try and defend yourself, seeing her nostrils flare and that vein in her forehead announce its appearance, but you wouldn’t stand here and be accused of even looking anywhere else but at your beautiful girlfriend.

“Our waitress who was all over you!”

“I can’t control what other people do, Sooyoung!” Oh no. Wrong answer.

For a second, you thought that you could see steam rising from your girlfriend’s head. It wouldn’t have been too crazy, seeing as tonight was the coldest it could get without snowing. She had told you to bring a jacket and you had refused, but standing across from your steaming girlfriend, defending your honour and angering the dragon ever more, it hardly seemed the right time to mention your shivering. She probably noticed anyway.

“Whatever,” she finally said. Her face was red and puffed up, but she took a few deep breaths and kept walking.

You could only follow slightly behind in silence. Your teeth were now chattering, and you could see your breath rise in front of you.

With your eyes glued to the floor, you bumped into Sooyoung when she abruptly stopped walking.

You looked up to see her looking down at you, angry but concerned.

She took off her coat, leaving her winter jacket on, and offered it to you. “Here,” she said.

You took it hesitantly and without saying a word.

Is she still mad? I can’t tell.

“I’m not mad.”

Damn, how did she do that?

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have overreacted like that,” she apologised. “You’re right, she’s just a waitress.”

“No, baby,” you sighed, “You weren’t overreacting.”

“I just get so…” she trailed off, before huffing out a cloud of breath and staring at her feet.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I should have made my boundaries more clear with her.”

“It’s not your fault.”

There was silence for a moment. Neither of you knew what to say.

“Tonight is a beautiful night,” you started. The silence was getting too awkward for your liking. “Let’s not let some girl ruin it.”

For the first time since you two sat down for dinner, she smiled.

“Ice cream?”

“In this weather?”

“Ice cream is always appropriate no matter the weather.”

“Okay,” Sooyoung laughed. “Let’s go, my love.”