#long time no see i’m back to vent lmfao

[chloverly]

“ you’re so sweet and beautiful and funny and sexy and smart but i just don’t see a relationship” WHYY WHY NOT LITERALLY COULD YOU JUST FUCKING TELL ME. YOURE SAYING I CAN BE ALL THOSE THINGS AND STILL NOT BE SOME SECRET OTHER THING THAT NO ONE WILL TELL ME AND THATS WHY NO ONE WANTS ME

[sugume]

YOUR BIGGEST FAN — GETO SUGURU

✧･. on vacation with your family, you discover that your biggest fan may not be a mystery after fall.

( TW ) f!reader. camgirl!reader. stepbrother!Geto (in a plot device way, no nii-chan and stuff.) unprotected sex. cream pie. phone sex. squirting. fingering. mutual masturbation. cunnilingus. deception. mentions of bullying. misunderstandings. hurt/comfort. explicit content.  

word count - > 6.6k

authors note. can you see I wasn’t creative with the username? I have a love-hate relationship with this fic because I feel like it goes from 0 to 100 real quick lmfao. This is heavily inspired by the book Eyes on Me! 

“I bet you look handsome.” You smile at the black screen with the default profile picture floating in the middle. 

‘Nah.’ User @Sssman72  types into the chat the takes up the left half of your computer. 

“Stop! Don’t say think bad things about yourself,” You laugh, making sure your tits jiggle in the flimsy red lingerie you're wearing. “I know your handsome baby.” You reassure your favorite client. The man who alone gives you 50% of your income. He’s the one who bought you this pretty lingerie set you're wearing.  

‘You look tired babydoll...how was today?’ He types. 

“I’m fine, I promise, just had a long day, was on a few other private chats with some other customers the entire day.” You confess. In all honesty after this call you were planning to pass out and try to get a few hours of sleep before you had to fly out to your family's vacation home. Today on your live stream, you told your followers you were going on vacation for the next two weeks and wouldn't be online. You didn't plan to get on a call with @Sssman72 but he had texted you as you were getting ready to go to bed that he had a bad day and wanted to see you. Before you had a chance to protest, he spent you 500 and said it would only be 30 minutes. You gave in because first he was your biggest supporter and you wanted to be there for him in some way with all the money and gifts, he sends you and second, you didn’t mind chatting with him, you thought he was the sweetest and you struck lucky the day he joined one of your lives.  

‘I’ll let you go then, I want you to get some rest before your flight, sorry for keeping you up beautiful just needed to vent about my ass job.’ 

“I’m always here for you handsome, I'll make sure to send you those pictures you requested through the week.” 

‘Make sure you enjoy your break babydoll, don’t gotta worry about me. Goodnight.’ 

You say your goodbyes and end up falling asleep in the lingerie bought you as soon as you shut your laptop. 

— 

“How’s college y/n?” Your stepfather asks when you slide into the back seat of the car. Your mother fitting the last of your luggage into the trunk.  

“it’s fine, some of my classes are difficult but nothing I can't manage.” You answer as you buckle in. 

“Oh yeah? Thats good. You mom tells me you started a job a few months ago, how's that working out for you?”  

You tense under the small blanket you’ve thrown over yourself. 

“u-uhm yeah its good—yeah it’s been fun.” 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I don't remember what you mother told me you did again.” He chuckles. 

“Uhm—I'm a bartender, m-my friend works there and got me a position.” You tell him the lie you've rehearsed hundreds of times. You start to sweat under the blanket. Did he buy it? What if he and your mom found out what you did? Are they planning to ambush you when you get to the house? They're going to make you drop out and chain you up in the basement when they find out. You throw the blanket off, suddenly too hot and alert. Guess that nap you were planning on taking during the drive wasn’t happening. 

“Oh, that’s fun sweetheart, I remember I bartended awhile when I was in college, got fired for stealing the alcohol though,” He laughs at the memory before turning to look at you. “You wouldn’t do that though, you’re a good girl.” 

You nod, thankful that your mom decided now to take your stepdad's attention away and get in the car. 

“Alrighty were good to!” She cheers. Your stepdad turns back around in his seat before starting the car. 

“Finally, thought we were going to get a fine parked here another minute.” 

“Oh, shut up! Y/n are you excited to go back to the vacation house? You haven’t been in years!” You mom asks as you guys pull out of the airport.  

“Yeah, I can’t wait to, I missed the hiking trails and the waterfalls. None of that in the big city.” You answer truthfully. You did miss the silence of the secluded house you vacationed at every summer since your mom married your stepdad. It was the company that you hated. As if your mom heard your thought, she says something that makes your heart drop. 

“Suguru feels the same way, we didn't even have to blackmail him to come! That boy...” 

“Suguru is coming?” You scream.  

“Coming? Sweetie, he’s already arrived this morning. I’m so excited were all together as a family again.” 

“Are you fucking serious mom? Turn the car around and bring me back to the airport!” You screech. You were not going to spend the next week with your bully of a stepbrother.  

“Y/n!” You mom gasps. 

“Sweetheart, he’s changed.” Your stepdad tells you as if that's going to make it better. 

“That’s what he wants you to think! He’s the worst human being on planet earth, please don’t make me spend the next few weeks with him, please mom,” you lean over the consul. “Please dad.” You pout at your stepfather. You know he gets weak whenever you call him dad. 

“Sweetheart...” 

“No! You aren’t sweet talking your way out of this, he’s changed. He isn't the same teenager with a chip on his shoulder, he’s matured. He even told me the reason he’s coming is to apologize and bond with you y/n.” 

“He’s lying mom! He doesn't care about me; I wouldn't be surprised if he told you that just so he could drown me in the lake. You guys own the land so nobody would find my body!” You start to tear up. You were going to jump out of the car if your parents didn't turn back around. Your stepbrother was your biggest tormentor since the day you met him. From picking on you at home to getting the girls to bully you at school. He made your life hell for four years. The day you left for college you screamed how much you hated him and told your parents that the four of you would only be in the same room again when you lay in a casket. 

“Oh, don’t cry sweetheart. Your mother is right, he’s changed, I wouldn’t have allowed him around you if he hadn’t. Give us a week and if you want to leave, I promise I'll drive you back to the airport and you’ll never have to see him again, please?” 

“No.” You cross your arms and look out the window despite knowing that they’ve won. You can’t jump out of the car now that you are on the highway, and you didn’t bring your own car to drive yourself back to the airport. 

“We’ll give you the master suite, the whole attic floor to yourself.” They bargain. You act like you’re thinking of accepting the offer. With the master suite taking up the entire third floor you could lock yourself up there and ignore Suguru. You could also film videos and even go live because the room is soundproof. You perk up at that. You could just spend your vacation on stream and chatting with @Sssman72. He’s somehow always free for you and told you that if you get bored you could call him. He’ll make up for your stepbrother’s awful behavior. 

“Fine, I’ll take the master suite.” 

— 

“Okay that's the last of your luggage, we’ll be having dinner in a few hours on the dock.” 

“Kay, thanks.”  You watch your stepdad shut the door. Once he does you release the tension in your shoulders. You lock the door before running to throw yourself onto the huge king bed. You sink down. You didn’t see Suguru when you arrived, you mom told you he was probably in town. You hope he stayed in town for the next two weeks.  

After laying it bed thinking about how much you hate Suguru with a passion you pull out your phone and open the porn app. You click on messages and open your chat with @Sssman72. 

‘Hey...I know I told you I was on vacation but I already wanna go home. You don't have to answer lol.’ You send. He immediately starts typing.  

‘Of course, I'll answer you babydoll. What’s wrong?’  Your face heats at the pet names. You wish you knew what he looked like, all he told you about himself was that he was in his twenties and worked for his father's company. You want to know more, what he looks like, what he sounds like. If the messages he sends make you sweat, you wonder what’ll happen if he spoke to them to you. In your head he’s a handsome bachelor who just so happened to find you and deem you worthy of his time and money but hell, he could be lying. He could be some old rich man in his eighties who likes young girls like all the rest of your viewers. The romantic part of you ignores that and is convinced he is who he says he is and that one day you’re going to meet in person and fall in and have a bunch of his babies. 

‘You know that stepbrother I told you about?’ 

“Mm, that asshole who bullied you?’ 

‘Yep, that asshole. Anyways I bet you won't guess who's here on vacation with me?’ 

‘Are you serious?’ 

‘Dead serious...my parents didn’t tell me until I was already trapped and now, I have to spend my vacation away with a man who hates me for no reason.’ 

‘Wow that’s crazy lol. Did your parents tell you why he chose to vacation with you if he doesn’t like you?’ 

‘Apparently he’s here to make amends...he’s probably here to kill me so he gets all the inheritance.’ 

‘Well, what if he’s really there to make amends baby?’ 

‘You should've heard the groan I just let out. I can’t believe you’re on his side babe. When I tell you that he too evil for that I mean it.’ 

‘Hey, you know I'm always on your side babydoll, I'm just giving you a man’s perspective on it. Maybe he realized he’s fucked up and he feels back so he wants to apologize for all the wrong he caused you’ 

‘Yea well from a women's perspective he’s an asshole who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself!’ 

‘Don’t say the baby...hypothetically what would he have to do to get you to forgive him?’ 

‘Hypothetically he's going to have to get on his knees and beg for my forgiveness every time he sees me until I deem, he's forgiven. And he’s also gonna have to send every dollar in his bank account to me AND be my slave for the rest of his life...hypothetically.’ 

‘Lol you never know babydoll, he just might be willing to do anything for your forgiveness. I know I would.’ 

‘That’s because you’re perfect and care about my feelings...now I'm gonna go get some sleep before having to eat with the devil. Pray he doesn’t poison me and I survive the night.’ 

— 

You sit at the dinning room table waiting for Suguru. Of course, he’s late, he doesn’t care about anyone's time but his. You say so to your parents. 

“Y/n stop being so harsh and give him a chance please.” You roll your eyes and go back to scrolling on social media.  

“Sorry I'm late.” You jump at the deep voice before whipping your head to the left where your stepbrother stands looking so...so different. 

“Suguru! No need to apologize! Come sit.” Your mother points to the empty seat opposite you. Suguru glances at you and smiles before walking to the seat. You gasp. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile at you or anyone else. Actually, you know he hasn’t smiled at anyone, he was know for being so stoic. You watch intensely as he pulls out the chair and sits. He looks like a different man, his hair is long, down past his shoulders, the black shirt he's wearing stretches around a huge chest. He looks like he spends half his day in the gym. And those eyes—those eyes that always had heavy eyebags and glared at everyone that looked his way, look at you with gentle look you can’t place. They even crease with the smile that he’s wearing. Your eyes widen, he has a fucking dimple. He looks like a gentleman, he looks handsome. You can't stop staring at his smile. 

“Y/n? You alright?” You Stepdad breaks through the haze you were in. You look at your parents and back to Suguru who all have concerned expressions on their faces.  You feel your entire body heat in embarrassment.  

‘Uhm—yea I'm fine.” You look at your parents, refusing to look back at that smile.  Suguru has different plans. 

“Hey y/n, it’s been a long time yeah?” Suguru says in that deep voice that has your heart beating faster.  Out the corner of your eye you watch as Suguru reaches over the food, holding his hand out. Does he really think you’re about to give him a damn handshake?  

...Are you seriously thinking about shaking that huge hand? No, you won’t. 

You purse your lips and cross your arms over your chest. You swear you see him glance down at your cleavage but the next second, he's holding eye contact. You blink and look away with a ‘hmm’. He lowers his hand.  

“Alright guys let's eat, okay?” You mom breaks the tension. Everyone grabs their share, and you eat in silence for a while, nobody brave enough to speak and you simmering with anger at Suguru. You throw glare at him every time you look up from your plate which happens more times than you’d admit.  

“You got something there.” Suguru points the sharp end of the fork at you. 

“What?” You ask. 

“There,” He grabs his napkin and starts to reach for you. You tense suddenly locked in place. Suguru brings the napkin to the corner of your mouth and wipes it. “There you go.” 

You stare at him like he's grown three heads. Maybe he’s dying and wants to make amends? Why else would he be treating you like this. Maybe someone took over his body? That has to be it. 

“Uh thanks?” You mummer, unsure what to say. 

“You're welcome little sis.” You choke on your spit. What the hell did he just call you!? He must be messing with you; you’re suddenly filled with rage. You glare at him, hoping he disintegrates with the sheer force of your stare. 

“You’ve grown up.” Suguru says after another blinking contest, you lost. 

“Yea, have you?” You snarl. He stops smiling. 

“I have,” he says seriously, setting his fork down. “I want to talk about—” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Please—” 

“No!” You slam your hand on the table, and he goes silent. You’re overcome with guilt before you remember that he bullied you for a year, that he told the entire school to bully you after he graduated. Fuck him. 

— 

You slam the door the door of your room speed walking to the bathroom. You strip your clothes before turning on the tub. You finally breathe when you settle into the scolding hot water. You needed to wash his gaze, his touch, off your body. The entire dinner after your conversation was awkward, your parents didn't really speak, and you refused to glance back up at Suguru who wouldn't stop staring.  

You hated him. You hated him. You—you can’t bring yourself to hate him. For some unknown reason you can’t bring yourself to hate him despite everything he's put you through. Why? You shake your head. You don’t want to think of Suguru while you're trying to relax. You phone dings. You pick up and a smile replaces your frown. @Sssman72. 

‘How are you babydoll, you alive?’ 

‘Yes, wish I wasn’t though.’ 

‘Why what happened during dinner?’ You sigh and send him voice message detailing everything that happened. 

‘Oh wow.’ 

‘I know.’ 

‘You gonna give him a chance to explain?’ 

‘I don’t know I don’t want to but also, I want to hear his explanation...can we call I really don't want to type all of this out?’  

‘Course, give me a second. I'll call you.’ You wait a few minutes before you hear the familiar ring. 

“Hi handsome.” you smile at the blank profile. Right now, you’d do anything to see him, to hear him comfort you, to be in his arms. He could be the ugliest man in the world, you wouldn’t care. 

‘HI beautiful. Talk to me.’ He types into the chat box. 

“I don't know. like I said I want to hear him out but also, I don't want to hear it because what it it’s bad, what if it doesn’t excuse it? But also, what if it does and I feel like shit for being mean back—it's just so stressful.” 

‘I know babydoll. I wish I could be there right now and hold you. I would do anything to take that hurt away. I'm sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.’ 

“Stop, don’t apologize you didn’t do anything. If anything, I should apologize for using you as a therapist when you paid to see me naked.” You laugh. 

‘Beautiful girl—I would rather pay to hear all your problems and be able to comfort you than see you naked again.’ 

“Wow you don’t want to see me naked, I'm hurt. Just kidding, thank you for saying that handsome.” You feel your heart skip a beat at his message. Maybe you can convince him to turn his camera on tonight. 

“I kinda wanna take my mind off everything right now.” You murmur into the phone before turning on your camera. You hold it above you and smile so he can see everything.  

‘So, fucking beautiful, prettiest girl in the world. You gonna give me a show?’ 

“hm,” You use your free hand to tap your chin. “Only if you do something for me.” 

‘And what is that?’ 

‘Can you turn your camera on? And before you say no, you don’ have to show your face—maybe you can just show your dick or something else. We can masturbate on the phone, please handsome please.” You whine giving him your best puppy face. You watch as the chat bubbles disappear and reappear. You’re about to back out but all the sudden you’re looking at a dim lit room and a huge cock between a big hand. Your eyes widen and the sight. 

"Y-you probably won’t be able to type and jack off at the same time” You suck in a breath. Please turn your audio on please... 

‘I’m gonna turn my audio on but I won’t talk, okay? Think you can get off on my moans babydoll?’  

You nod. 

‘Good girl now show me that pretty pussy, make it squirt for me.’ 

You lift yourself up to sit on the corner of the tub, propping one leg on tub and spreading the other that rests in the water. You flip the camera so your mystery man can watch you finger yourself. You hear him groan and spit onto his hand. 

You moan softly at the sound, teasing your entrance. You wish he was talking to through it, but you’ll settle for this for now. One day... 

“Mmm, wish you were the one fingering me right now,” You circle your clit before gliding your fingers out your cunt. 

“Wish you were here, holding me n' fucking me.” You curl your fingers into your g-spot and moan. You look back at your phone, watching your stranger play with the tip of his long cock. It looks so big compared to his hand, you know you’ll struggle to take it. Your pussy clenches around your small fingers that do close to nothing compared to your dildos at home.  

“Wan’ your cock in me so bad, it looks so big you’ll have to force me to take it, you’ll have to hold me down and make me take it.” You cry out. You watch as he squeezes his hand up and down his cock. It looks painful. He grunts louder. 

“M’gonna cum for you handsome, m’gonna give you what you want and make a mess,” You speed up your fingers to match how fast he slides his fist up and his cock. You moan louder, thankful that you got the suite and aren’t in the room next to your stepbrothers, how embarrassing it would be if he could hear you pleasuring yourself.  

You clench harder around your fingers. Your stranger starts to grunt and groan louder. You shiver at his deep voice on the edge of cumming. 

“Please please let me cum please! Can I come for you please?” You cry, your pussy starts to squelch, spurts of liquid coming out. 

“Yes, cum for me.” Your mystery man groans in an all too familiar voice but before you have time to think about it, you’re squirting, the grip on your phone loosening and falling into the water. 

“N-no!” 

— 

“Yes, this phone is done for, your mother and I are heading into town we can try to find a company that sells phone, but you know how small towns like this are.” You stepdad stares at your phone that’s been sitting in a container full of rice since last night.  

“Fuck, I need it for work! What am I going to do?” You look up at him in distress. 

“What do you need your phone for bartending?” He looks down at you incredulously. 

“My boss is sending me some important email and I didn't bring my computer.” You lie. 

“Well, you can use Suguru’s laptop, I saw him using it this morning in the sitting room. Think he left it there before he went on his run.” Your stepdad points down the hall as your mother rounds the corner.  

“Ready to go honey?” She asks your stepdad. 

“Coming! Use Suguru laptop to check your email, if we come back and you haven’t got the email you can use my phone. Bye! Have fun and be nice!” Your stepdad waves before following your mother. You wave back. 

 Of course, you had to use Suguru’s laptop. Maybe you can just log in, tell your stranger that you’re okay and that you won’t be able to contact him until you get a new phone and then delete the history before Suguru comes back from his run. It’ll only take a few minutes...you hope he doesn’t a password.  

You run to the sitting room, but you don’t see a laptop anywhere. Dammit, he always has to make things hard for you. You walk up the round staircase and down the hall until you're standing in front of Suguru’s room. You look around, as if Suguru's gonna pop up out of nowhere and attack you from going into his room. You shake the thought off and open his door. You stop and stare at the bed, you feel like you've seen that duvet. You chalk it up to a bunch of man having the same bedding before turning to scan the room for a laptop. You quickly spot the laptop on his desk and run to it. You sigh in relief when it opens to the last tab he had opened. Thank you Suguru for not caring about who gets into your shit. You click new tab and start to type in the name of the website you use before you freeze.  

You only need to type in three letters before the website popped up in top hits. You stop breathing. No... He couldn’t know what you do. Is that why he came here? Was he going to expose you to your parents? Was he acting nice to butter you up before crushing you? Your vision starts to blur. All boys watch porn, maybe he just happens to watch porn on the same website you film on. You can block your account from him so that he never finds you. You swallow before clicking the tab. You shakily move they pointer over to the search bar before you spot something in the left corner that makes you dizzy.  

Right where the username of the viewer is supposed to be is the username @Sssman72. Your heart stops and you feel wetness hit your hands. This can’t be real. You move to chat and cry out when you see your username. The last text he sent was asking what happened. No—this is a dream; you’re going to wake up and this is going to be a bad nightmare. You refuse to believe the man you’ve been slowly falling in love with over the last six months is your stepbrother, your bully. The man you confessed all your darkest secrets is the man who never showed you an ounce of kindness. Is this a part of his master plan? Is he going to blackmail you and hold all the nudes you’ve sent him and all the secrets you’ve told him over your head. You’re going to become his slave, doing whatever he wants of you until you die. You curl into yourself and cry harder at the thought.  

“Y/n? What are you do—” Suguru stops when he sees what's on the screen. “Let me explain please baby.” He reaches out to touch your shoulder. You flinch away from his touch.  

“D-don’t call me that,” You sob staring at him with such heartbreak in your eyes he wants to drop and beg for your forgiveness. “You-you, it was you the whole time.” Your voice breaks. 

Suguru nods slowly trying to reach out for you again. You take a few steps away. “Was this some masterplan to hold me under your thumb for the rest of my life!?” You scream at him. 

He’s grateful your parents went out of town; this would be an absolute shitshow if they were here.  

“No babydoll—” 

“I said don’t call me that you asshole! Stop pretending. I hate you Suguru! You win okay, you win!” You tell him before you run out of his room. He curses before running after you, you run up that stairs and into the suite but before you can shut the door Suguru shoves it open. You drop to your knees to pull your suitcase from under your bed. 

“Please listen to me y/n. I wasn’t faking—stop packing and let me explain.” Suguru pleads as he watches you throw your clothes into your suitcase. 

“Y/n, baby, please listen to me please” He grabs your arm, and you try to fight him, but he pulls you down onto the bed with him. He hugs you around the waist and you push in this chest trying to break free. His heart aches. He hates seeing you hurt, he hates that he was the one who made you cry like this. He hates that you only associate him with the version of himself that he created to stop anyone from seeing what he was truly feeling. He hates that you won’t accept the real version of him now that you know it was him. He holds you tighter as you scream and cry. He whispers sweet nothings as you whisper how much you hate him. At some point you stop fighting and wrapping your arms around his neck. You sniffle into his neck, and he rubs your backs and rocks you.  

“Why?” You ask hoarsely after all the anger leaves your body. Now you feel numb, like you're watching your life from a third perspective.   

“I never hated you, I never lied, and I never planned to blackmail you—I know you don’t believe me baby but everything I've ever told you on that app was real. Everything I feel for you is real.”   You pull your face out of his neck and stare up at him. You don’t believe him. 

“I have never hated you y/n. I swear it. I hated the fact that my father replaced my mother with yours not even a year after she died. Baby, I never fucking hated you. I was just a teenager who didn’t know how to express my emotions so I took them out of the person I knew I could hurt the most. It was bad I know; I feel like shit to this day. When I graduated and got away from my father, I realized how bad I was to you, and I got into therapy. I wanted to be better for myself, for you, for everyone around me. I didn’t know that the bullying continued when I left. I didn’t know how bad people had taken it until that day I came back home. When you told me off about it, I was so confused. I’m so fucking sorry. I want to reach out and apologize for everything and the day I planned to do it Satoru—my best friend, you remember him—well he sent me the link to your account and so I made an account and it all just spiralized out of control after that. I was too embarrassed to tell you it was me and then we started to form a connection, a real connection, and I didn’t want our conversations to end so—fuck I'm sorry. Everything I told you; I meant it. I fucking meant every word.”  

You sit there stunned, trying to comprehend everything he said. You never knew about his mother. You thought she had passed away long before your mom and his dad had met. But you remember when your stranger told you that. God, you remember when your not so mystery man told you about his family the seemed so familiar to yours. And he didn’t tell all those people to bully you after he left? Did he mean every word? Every word of affirmation he gave you. Those times when he told you that you were capable of being loved and that you were going to find someone who would love every part of you, the good and bad. Was that the same Suguru? You try to wrap your mind around the fact that the man you love is your stepbrother. 

“I know it’s a lot of information.” 

“It is.” 

“Do you believe me?” He looks at you with furrowed brows. You do. Despite everything you find yourself nodding. He sighs and you feel the tension release from his shoulders that your arms are wrapped around. You suddenly realize the position you two are in and feel your face heat. Your arms are wrapped around his neck and your legs are on either side of his thick thighs his cock, the cock that you saw last night, is right underneath you, if you lower yourself an inch, you’d be sitting on it.  

Suguru grips your waist with one hand, the other cupping the right side of your face. You look up at him and sniffle. He leans down until your foreheads are touching.  

“If you give me achance, I'll treat you like the queen you are. I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. One chance is all I ask for.” He mummers rubbing your noses together.  

You hesitate, one part of you wants to run away with him because he’s the man you’ve wanted for the last six months. The other part of you wants to run away from him, he’s your stepbrother, he lied, and you don't know if he would’ve ever told you the truth. But isn’t that what he came here to do? Can you blame a little boy for being mad at the people who replaced his mother?  

You give him his answer by grabbind his neck and push his lips towards you. If this does go to hell at least you’ll have a story to tell your feature children.  

Suguru kisses back before standing and pulling you off him. “What—” 

“You said you wanted me on my knees, didn't you? I’m ready to serve you in any way you want. I can have my savings transferred to your account by tomorrow night.” He says as he drops to his knees. You stare at him with wide eyes as he holds your legs and starts kissing from knee to right where your pussy starts.  

“Suguru—” 

“Shh babydoll let me take care of my girl, show her how sorry I am for hurting her.” He mummers before dropping your leg and picking up the next one. He repeats this a few more times before finally asking you to lift your hips so he can pull your leggings and panties off. Suguru throws your pants behind him before standing up to pull your tank top off. You reach behind to unbuckle your bra and toss it on the floor with your other clothes. Suguru chuckles, reaching up to kiss all over your face. 

“Take your clothes off too Sugu.” You giggle, reaching for his sweatpants. You get a firm grip and yank them down. His thick cock bounces out. Your mouth goes slack. The phone call didn’t do it justice. It somehow looks bigger than before and if you weren’t wet before, you are now. That thing is going to be inside you soon.  

“Like what you see beautiful?” You nod dumbly as you watch Suguru step out of his pants and take his shirt off with one hand. He’s so fucking sexy.  

He drops back down to his knees and pulls you until your ass is hanging off the bed. “Lay down and let me please you.”  You comply and watch as Suguru lifts your legs up and buries his face in your cunt. Your hands fly down to his long shiny hair. 

“Suguru!” You moan as he licks you from asshole to clit. He sucks on your clit before biting both lips. Your pussy clenches. “Feels s’good Sugu!” You grind down on his talented tongue. Suguru hums into your clit before setting one of you thighs in his shoulder and bringing his fingers to your entrance. He teases you, only pushing his fingers into the joint before taking them out. You cry out in frustration before pulling on his long hair when he finally slides two big fingers into you. 

Yours definitely don't compare to his long thick ones. Your back arches off the bed as Suguru fingers jackhammer into you all the while his mouth sucks on your clit.  

“S’good Sugu! Don’t stop!” You scream letting go of hair with one hand to cover your loud mouth.  

“Don’t hide those sweet moans from me babydoll. If you want my cock, you’ll let me hear you scream my name as you cum on my fingers and mouth.” 

You bring you hand back to hair and grind hard as you get closer and closer to orgasm.  

“Gonna cum! M’gonna come!” You cry, as you release all over Suguru's face. He moans and sucks even harder before adding another finger. You cry at the sudden intrusion. It doesn't take long before you’re coming all over again, this time liquid shooting out of you and onto Sugu’s chest.  

“Yes baby, that's it—what a good girl,” He praises as he slurps up all your juices. “Such a fucking good gril f’me.” 

“Gimme a kiss.” You say between heavy breaths.  

“Does the pretty girl want kiss?” You nod, pulling Suguru down with you by the shoulders. 

“Want you to kiss me while you fuck me for the first time. Want it to be special,” You confess shyly. Suguru leans down and pecks you on the forehead, then the nose, and then both of your cheeks. 

“Don’ tease meanie!” You laugh when he kisses the corner of your lips. 

“M’sorry baby, can you forgive me?” He pouts.  

“Hmm—I’ll forgive you only if you kiss me right no—” You don’t even finish your sentence before Suguru shoves his tongue down your throat. You kiss him back and your tongues fight for dominance. Suguru wins and smiles into the kiss. You can’t believe this is happening. Your bully, your stepbrother, your mystery man is kissing you right now. Your about to make love with said man. 

“You okay babydoll?”  

“Mhm, just can’t believe this is all happening.” 

“Me too beautiful, you sure you want to do this right now? We can always wait.” 

“No, I want to. I want you.” You raise your hand to tuck his hair behind his ear. He smiles, showing you that adorable dimple. You kiss it.  

Suguru kisses your lips once more before he grabs his cock, rubbing it up and down your cunt. 

“Fuck—I don’t have a condom.” 

“I’m on the pill—please Sugu.” You beg, frustrated from all this foreplay. You’ve been on edge since last tight in the tub.  

“Alight beautiful,” He pushes the head of his cock into you. “Fuck me—you feel so good. Always knew you would.” You feel his fist guide his long cock into you. You moan. He fits you perfectly.  

“Sugu—feel’s s’good, want more!” You cry, fisting the blanket’s underneath you.  

“Does my baby want more—does she want to orgasm on my cock?” You nod watching Suguru lift your legs to his shoulder. He leans down, bringing your feet to the side of your head. You whine at the stretch. 

Suguru groans as he pulls his cock in and out of you.  

“S’too much!” You moan into his shoulder. He just laughs and picks up his pace. The fancy headboard above the bed starts to slam against the wall. You watch with blurry eyes as the stock photos hung on the wall shake.  

“Said you wanted more baby, ‘m giving you more.”  he says before biting into your neck. Hard. You scream, back arching at the pain. Your hands fist the sheets even tighter, knuckles turning white. Suguru unlatches his jaw. Lifting his head to admire his mark. Now all your customers will know you belong to someone. To him. He kisses the mark. 

“Sugu, It’s too much. Hurts! m’gonna cum!” You cry, tears soaking the blanket breath you. 

“Oh, don't cry baby—shhh—you’re so beautiful y/n. So damn pretty.” He whispers, coaxing you to orgasm. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. You stop breathing for a second as your pussy contracts around Suguru's cock. Suguru follows in suit, spurting his cum deep inside your pussy. 

“Fuck,” he draws out, collapsing onto you.  

“T-that was—” 

“The best sex ‘ve ever had.” 

“Same.” You smile before wincing. 

“What’s wrong babydoll.”  

“You're about to break my damn hip if you keep my legs up any longer,” Suguru lefts himself enough to bring your legs to his sides. “And you probably ripped a chunk of my neck off with that little trick of yours.” You grumble. 

“It’s not bad, promise.” He kisses the bite mark softly. 

“And all the pictures fell of the wall.”  

“I’ll put ‘em back up baby,” He laughs into your ear. “Just let me hold you for a second.”  He kisses your cheek before snuggling deeper into you. You throw your arms around his shoulder while you both try to wrap your head around everything that happened.  

[herri-writes]

Unfortunate for Love

Hiiro Amagi x Reader

Note: I can imagine Aira fake vomiting whenever the reader saw Hiiro with their non-existent 20/20 vision and vice versa. This was inspired from the shenanigans that me and my friends had done in real life. I am a stupid dumbass whose eyesight is literally a 10/10 and 15/15 when I saw my ex-crush from the distance lmfao. Anyways, I can be Aira or the reader and he's a literal mood. I tried making this as a comedy but somehow failed. I'm bad at making things really funny to be honest but atleast I'm trying through writing. Curse this writer's block for making my imagination limited and classes for taking me too long to finish this. Because of this, most of them are ooc and I wanna die. Let me finish this in peace....

btw, happy belated valentines. Warning: Swearing. I swear I rally need to write "No swearing at my written works" at my new year's resolution.

"Seriously, (Name)? You have a crush on that caveman idol senior of mine?" You hesitantly nodded at your underclassman's question and you shushed him, "Don't call your upperclassman and leader like that, Shiratori. It's not nice." "I know but that's when I didn't know that he's a year older than me. It's a habit." You sighed at his retort. Well, he's not wrong though. He never knew anything about idols before but he's a fast learner when it comes to things— physically and academically but sometimes logically. He is a child who is stuck in a body of a 17 year-old. Currently, you're here in the Idol Course and outside Aira's classroom, talking the day away. The reason why you're here it's because you're currently producing for ALKALOID today in Yumenosaki and later at Ensemble Square until their live ends. Instead of asking the unit about what kind of performance they'll have for their live, you're here asking Aira about their leader, Hiiro Amagi, which that made Aira nearly fake vomit in front of you while swooning over their leader. (W/N: The better, the cutest, the most precious, the scrunkliest, my beloved, and my favorite Amagi.) "Anyways, why did you talk to me when there's Senior Arashi to talk to when it comes to topic about love? You're telling me almost everything you like about him." Aira asked you and leaned on the wall, facepalming while mentioning one of the members of Pretty 5, the circle he is in at Ensemble Square. You deadpanned, "Is there anyone else who is close to Amagi that I can talk to here in Yumenosaki?" "There is... one or two. Senior Tetora is in the dojo at this time of hour, as what Hiiro had told me or either with Ryuseitai at Ensemble Square practicing and Senior Mayoi is in the walls or in the vents, listening to us right now." Aira pointed the ceiling. You look up and blinked. There is a vent above you two. As if on cue, the vent on the ceiling popped up open and someone fell from it and landed on you. Aira, for who is really unfortunate since the beginning, finally smiled because the lady luck is on his side. Unfortunately for you, you forgot to bring the lucky charm Tsumugi gave you and lady luck is avoiding you ever since the gods know when. Coincidentally, your favorite astrology tv show just announced that your sign will be unfortunate for the month and your lucky charm to avoid misfortune is a significant other, which you considered bullshit. (W/N: life isn't rabu~i for me rn. Leave me alone.) Feeling the weight on your back, you felt the same feeling of deja vú where you couldn't leave the floor and get attatched to it. Your life flashed before your eyes when you were so sure you can see stars in front of you or the stars from Trickstar's live, sparkly and it's everywhere in sight. You lost consciousness as you heard panicked noises coming from someone on top of you. "M-M-M-My apologies, (Name). I fell on top of you. How cruel of me..." Mayoi said as he got off of you. You remaind lying on the floor and didn't move. Your soul left your body long ago. The heart and the clover began to panic because a producer lied on the floor, making it seem like a crime scene. Your hand left a message from your hand and it was written, "Mayoi". The moment the two heard footsteps from afar, they became pale. They don't want to be caught by anyone and be reported to the student council. Aira feared that ALKALOID will be having a field day after this that he panicked. "Eek! Senior Mayoi, help me carry (Name) to the infirmary and quick!" "I-I couldn't let my filthy hands touch (Name)! They're too pure to be stained by someone so filthy like me...!" "Stop degrading yourself and help me! We're going to have a field day with this—" "What's going on here?" They hesitatntly turn to where the voice came from and prepare to meet their doom. A wave of relief washed onto them when they saw a certain redhead that they knew all to well before their debut. Aira nearly bawled his eyes out in desperation and he could see the angels blowing their trumpets around him. A savior from the heavens above, he thought. "Hiiro, please help us! (Name) died when Senior Mayoi fell on top of them!" Aira panicked as he stood there and pointed on your lying body on the ground. Mayoi stuttered and began to degrade himself and mentioning on not to forgive him. It was indeed incoherent to others but his fellow unitmates understand him well. "Wha—?! (Name)-dono died?! How?!" Someone popped up from the corner of the hallway, scaring the blonde soldier. Poor Aira is going to have a field day the moment he saw Shinobu and boy, he is so scared when he knew that the ninja will be reporting this incident to the student council president. "No more questions! Let's take them to the infirmary, immediately!" Aira exclaimed but Hiiro went to a head start as he carried you in his arms and ran away from the crime scene. "I don't think you need to do it..." Shinobu dropped a sweat and pointed to something behind Aira. Aira turned around and deadpanned as he watched his leader running away with you in his arms. "Never mind. That caveman left before we get a stretcher for (Name)."

You open your eyes to see the all-familiar ceiling above of you. You were sensing a familiar feeling of deja vú right now and is following Anzu's footsteps. How unlucky you were this year unlike the last year when luck gave you a chance to do live peacefully. Where is the lucky four-leaf clover when you need one? Your back pained from the impact Mayoi gave you. 'Is this what Senior Anzu felt when Senior Ogami landed on her back after he jumped off the stage back then?' You thought and let out a long, heavy sigh. "Oh, you're finally awake." You turn your head to see those azure eyes staring at you, innocently. You blinked to see if it was one of the side effects of the impact— that was until you pinched his cheek and unfortunately, the answer is no. You're not hallucinating or dreaming. It's real. It's all real. Realizing this, your natural, pale skin became pink as Tori's hair and turned into a bright shade of red— as red as the Amagi brothers' hair. "(Name), are you alright? Do you have a fever?" Your words couldn't come out and remained stuck in your throat as he laid his hand on your forehead. It was soft and warm, you thought. You wanted to slap yourself for spacing out right in front of your crush but you couldn't. You froze on the spot and waited for him to leave. "Hm, seems like you're not. Are you alright? Are you still hurt?" He bombarded you with questions to make sure you're okay. You wanted to nod but you're remained frozen. "I'll call Mr. Sagami to check on you again. I'll be right back." And he left. Congratulations, you made your crush leave the infirmary and look for the teacher clad in a doctor's coat, smelled like alcohol and cigarettes. You immediately rise up from your lying position and gripped the sheets in fear. You began to process everything from what happened outside Aira's classroom to the present. Starting from the part where you tell Aira on what you felt about Hiiro, Mayoi falling from the vents at the ceiling, you fainting and became unconscious, someone carrying you to the infirmary, and Hiiro waiting for you to wake up as he looked at you like a child waiting for the plant to grow after their first time planting one on a flower pot. 'Amagi carried me here?!' You mentally screamed and panicked. You hastily left the bed and made a mad dash out of the infirmary. The way you left made it seem like a classic horror movie when you screamed and nearly bumped into someone. You thought it's Death coming to get you but nearly fainted when you finally know who. "Whoa, slow down (Name). What's the rush?" It's Mao. You grabbed Mao's shoulders and gripped it tight and looked at him, desperately trying to run away from something— or someone. Mao sweat dropped and looked at you, confused. "You just got out of the infirmary and heard about it from Sengoku, Shiratori, and Ayase. Is something else the matter?" You surrender and release him from your otherworldly grip you gave to Mao's shoulders. You felt like crawling into a hole and die there as you walk back to the infirmary and return to the bed you just lied on and sulked. Mao seemed concerned of you as a senior. He wasn't sure on how to tell Anzu about your current predicament. Yes, she is your fellow producer and your senior but wasn't sure on what kind of situation you are in. He tried to guess everything until he heard you muttering under the sheets. "I acted stupidly..." You muttered. He wasn't sure if he heard it right. "President... what would you do if you have a crush on someone?" Well, that wasn't expected. Mao felt the blush creeping up this face to that question you asked him. He tried to look for an answer but instead, he gulped it all in and breathed heavily. "To be honest, I don't know." He hesitantly replied as he scratched the back of his neck. It was quite confusing indeed when the topic is about crushes unless you understand and relate to them. You revealed yourself under the blanket and sat there, looking away from Mao. You inhaled deeply and exhaled to calm yourself down. "Actually—" Your words cut off when you heard someone entering the room. You turn your head to see Mr. Sagami walking his way towards you and checked on you. "You're quite lucky you're alright. I can clearly remember what happened to Anzu the first day she got here." He chuckled. Mao chuckled nervously at the memory. Well, that was the time before she signed herself to become Trickstar's producer and help them rise up to form a revolution and defeat fine, which led them to step up to the shining stage at DDD.” Mr. Sagami continued and teased, "Who knows, maybe it's your turn to follow her footsteps and make ALKALOID shine like how Trickstar did last year." "Mr. Sagami..." You look down in embarrassment. Hiiro popped up from behind the teacher and looked at you. Mao saw that and he was so sure he is like a child in a teenager's body. '(Name) is quite lucky to be ALKALOID's producer. ALKALOID is also lucky to have them.' "Anyways, it seemed like you're fine and recovered fast. Rest here and you can leave after school hours." Mr. Sagami said and turned to Hiiro and Mao. "Watch over them and don't let them leave." He left the room and excused himself to leave. He is a busy teacher, after all. "Well, I better get going. I have work to do in the office. Watch over her, Amagi." Mao said and left the infirmary. He is a busy student council president, after all. Your eyes widen in sudden realization. With Mr. Sagami and Mao left the room and gone, it's just you and Hiiro in the infirmary. You and Hiiro Amagi. The silence suffocated you after Mao left. You broke the ice and asked him, "Hiiro, don't you have practice after this?" He shook his head and answered, "Practice is cancelled today because Mayoi hid somewhere and Aira is looking for him and Tatsumi is having a check-up right now." "...I see..." Your hopes went downhill, much to your chagrin. You lied down on the bed and waited for the day to end. You're all alone with your crush, sitting on the chair beside the bed and watched over you. You know how he looked at you. Those are nothing but pure innocence unlike those eyes his brother has. All of a sudden, you felt safe now that Hiiro is here. You mentally facepalmed yourself and waited for the day to end like nothing had happened.

"It's a good thing that you're alright, (Name)." Anzu comforted you the next day at the staff dining room. It's a bright Saturday morning so you had time to work with Anzu as a producer at Ensemble Square. "Somehow, it reminded me of the day before I met the others and knew about what fine had done in the past. Stars who are revolutionarists fighting the heavenly orchestra. Now, this time, card soldiers battling the buzzing bees who are complete misfits." She chuckled, making you blush. History repeats itself, they say. "Not to mention, you began to fall for one of them. You better be lucky that it's not an ex-flirt or a parental figure wannabe or a buzzing gambler you're falling for." She sighed. You nearly choke and spat your hot mocha when you knew who it is. You raised your brow in annoyance and she wasn't wrong. It's your first year as a student of Yumenosaki Academy and a fortunate one to work as a producer in Ensemble Square and you're glad you knew almost everything about the rest of the units from your upperclassman and senior, Anzu. "Anyways, I have to go. 2wink is calling for me." Anzu stood up from her seat and left. You waved her goodbye and watched her leave until someone kidnapped her and brought her somewhere to god knows where. In a panic, you stood up from your seat and chased them. You stopped when the doors of the elevator closed and saw it going up. You rushed to the flight of stairs nearby and stopped in front of the elevator to check where the lift will stop. Surprisingly, it stopped at the 18th floor. Tired from all of the running, you heard a ding from the elevator. What revealed is a pair of familiar ginger-haired twins exiting the lift. You deadpanned when you realize that it's 2wink who kidnapped her. 'Seriously?' You deadpanned at the sight of the twins carrying her with most ease. You look at Anzu and her face was completely written in "A deja vú, indeed". The twins still carried Anzu all the way inside to CosPro office, making you offer your condolences and hoped that she won't receive the same fate as you do few days ago at StarPro— to which you tried to ignore and forget it out of embarrassment. You entered the elevator and pressed the 20th floor button. Just as before the doors close, a foot stopped it from closing and automatically opened to reveal the older Amagi. You held your breath in absolute fear that you felt like you're turning blue from the loss of oxygen. You can see that snarky smirk etched on his face, a face that you wanted to punch so badly. You pressed the stop button on the controls because you are so sure that he's not going inside the lift when you saw a smirk that is so perfectly drawn on his punchable face. "Heh, what do we have here? It's the lil' producer. Nice to meet ya lil' sibling-in-law." Heh...? Little... sibling-in-law...? "You have two options Mr. Amagi. Enter the lift if you wanted to go up and see your brother or step back and leave me alone because I'm not in the mood to entertain you and I'm late for the meeting with Trickstar." You blankly glared at him. The wave of fear that washed over you a moment suddenly returned back to the ocean in your conscience. Hearing his signature hyena laugh after your retort made you glare at him even more. You wanted to kick him but you don't want to lose your dignity as a student and a producer. Him being a leader of a unit makes it even worse. What if you'll be reported to the deputy leader of CosPro? What if you'll be banned from working in Ensemble Square. You shook your head to remove the negative thoughts and calmed yourself down. "Er, I just show up to greet my brother's future partner and to warn ya 'bout his relationship with his little girlfriend." He remembered what he was supposed to tell you and your heart sank when you heard the word girlfriend. "For the last time, I'm not his girlfriend!" You heard Aira outside and that made Rinne snicker in amusement. "Welcome to my brother's harem, (Name)." He grinned at you again as he stepped away from the lift. He waved goodbye as he entered the office while letting out his hyena-like laugh and cackled. You gave him mental insults in return while you saw his figure disappear in the distance. You sighed as you exited the lift and you bumped onto someone, which made the other alarmed. "Whoa, (Name). We're heading to the same location." You look up to see the last person you wanted to see. "Why are you leaving the elevator?" Those cyan eyes, those innocent-looking cyan eyes made you stare at him. You are trying to hold the urge not to blush right in front of the younger Amagi. You are aware that the older Amagi is watching from the office and witnessed everything that unfolded. You cleared your throat to look away from him. "R-Right," you stuttered. "Amagi, Shiratori, please enter the lift first." They did as you said and you followed them. As the three of you are inside the lift, you pressed the button to close the doors and pressed the button with the number 20 on it to go up. The silence is completely deafening to you in the lift. You fiddled your thumbs to not to lose your patience and prayed to the gods to save the remaining amount of your sanity— which is an ounce. You prayed for an ounce before. Why not a few grams or a pound? Those seconds felt like an eternity and you are getting impatient. You closed your eyes and slowly breathed to calm yourself down until the lift stopped. Your body felt light that when it shook, you lost your balance that you tumbled down. Your back didn't felt the impact to the floor but you felt a pair of arms holding you with ease. Aira fake vomited because he saw a potential love story incoming. He is so going to see this happening in Hold Hands when someone caught these soon-to-be-lovebirds flirting in front of the heart soldier. Life is so not lovely for Aira right now. An irritated look was etched on the blonde's face. He is giving judgemental quarter French stares behind you two. "Are you alright, (Name)?" Hiiro asked you as he helped you up. You nodded and briskly walked out of the elevator to avoid him. Hiiro tilted his head in confusion and walked out of the elevator and Aira followed him all the way to the office. That irritated look was still evident on Aira's adorable features. He's going to get wrinkles at this rate and for sure Arashi and Hiyori will point that out once they have a circle meeting. Your meeting with Trickstar went well in the meeting room but you are too shy to talk normally like you always do to your friends who are in the same age and year as you. These upperclassmen are the revolutionarists who took down the angels of the heavenly orchestra at the finals of the first DDD in Yumenosaki last year. You were expecting that they are serious but YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG. You began to wonder how the hell did Anzu tolerate this unit which it contains of two idiots and two brains— one is obsessed with anything sparkly and shiny and one is who seemed cool and smart but is an actual idiot whose brain is a size of a plankton and both are sons of solo idols— one is at six feet under and one is going strong, an ex-model that was always obsessed by his senior from Knights and a gamer, and an overworking StuCo president with natural talent that was always attached by someone also from Knights. You are literally selling your body, mind, and soul to this job. You're expecting hell but this... is a circus, which you heard from her.

But seeing them on stage is literally making the whole venue sparkling and shining. Was it because of the son of "that" Akehoshi? Because of Seiya Hidaka's son? Because of the current StuCo president who took the title and responsibility from the current manager of Ensemble Square and Starmaker Production? Or was it because of that gamer/ex-model that was an actual beauty behind those blue frames of his glasses? Turns out, it was because of their growth from this past year with a help of a producer and their growth as a unit. It was all proven that BIGBANG and it made your eyes sparkle in delight. "(Name), can we talk for a moment?" It's Mao. You nodded and he sat down beside you. You remember the question you let out to that said StuCo president and you always avert your gaze whenever he talked to you. If only, if only you didn't ask him that question back then, none of this had happened. 'Gods... why am I so unfortunate since yesterday?' "To answer your question from yesterday, I think it depends on the person. Most of the answer you'll get from me is coming from cliché romance mangas." He chuckled awkwardly and apologized. You told him that it's alright and sighed but it was cut short when a certain ginger caught its attention to this and asked Mao. "(Name)'s asking for an advice? About what?" Your eyes met with his reef blue ones. Mao hesitantly answered, "Love advice... I have no experience to that or to any of us here. Why not ask someone from UNDEAD, Eve, Knights, or Switch?" Makoto shuddered at the mention of the unit name where his senior who was completely obessed with him as long as he could remember. "Hardly doubt for those. What about Crazy:B or fine?" Hokuto chimed in and everyone except him shrugged at the names of the units he mentioned. "What? That masked perv— I mean Hibiki of fine has experience to that." Hokuto internally grimaced as he mentioned the name of his senior from Dramatica. "What about ALKALOID?" Mao asked you and you felt like imploding as you heard that name. Just as you're about to tell them to drop that conversation down, someone fell from the ceiling and landed on the floor outside of the meeting room. You saw who it was because the door is wide open and it was forgotten to close by either Subaru or Hokuto who arrived a little later after Mao and Makoto that you banged your forehead to the table and that scared Trickstar. You weren't surprised who fell from the ceiling and you knew who it was. "Huh? Isn't that Mayoi Ayase from ALKALOID?" Subaru looked at the violet-haired clover soldier lying on the floor outside of the room. "Mayoi? Are you here?" A voice outside of the meeting room called for Mayoi. It was then revealed a certain red head that you wished to see last. Luckily for you right now, your soul flew away from your body the moment Mayoi "showed up" outside the room in the most surprising way possible. Aira showed up behind Hiiro and apologized profusely and dragged Mayoi away from them. 'Well, damn, I hope he didn't hear everything...' Actually, Mayoi heard all of those since the beginning.

Your next schedule is meeting with ALKALOID and it dreaded you. You felt like diving into the depths of hell the moment you saw that unit's name on your schedule. Seems like your luck washed away the moment you saw that TV show about your zodiac sign being unlucky for a month. Now, all you need is a partner for life, the one who could make your unluckiness wash away for life, which you let out a loud groan as you chided in your thoughts. Luckily, this isn't about work so you're rest assured. Well, you don't need one right now now that you brought one of the lucky charms that Tsumugi gave you when you produce for Switch few months ago. You forgot that you have it in your pocket for the whole time today due to work. At least the bad luck won't come to you right now. "(Name)! It's been a while!" Just as you jinxed it... "Uchuu~" Someone pounced on you from behind with full force that you both fell to the cold floor. You made sure to protect your face from the fall or you'll have a broken nose and unconscious when it hits your head. With a loud thud from the fall, all of the papers spread around you. "U-Uchuu..." You felt someone straddled on your back and smacked your back a few times as if he's patting your back and forgot to control his strength. "Mr. Tsukinaga, why are you here outside Café Cinnamon? Aren't you supposed to be with the others? " You groaned out and asked the person on your back. "Whahahahaha! I came here to visit my favorite junior producer." Leo laughed and smacked your back multiple times. You could feel the oxygen in your system flying away at a single smack you received from him. "You look like a pancake right now! Inspiration! Inspiration is flowing— No! Overflowing! Whahahahaha!" "Mr. Tsukinaga, before you could—" You could feel the weight on your back lifted away from you and followed by nagging. "Leo, didn't I tell you not to disturb your underclassman? Look at what you did to them. Soooo annoying~" 'So, I guess I'm saved...?' You thought but you could see the sly smirk drawn on his face even without seeing it. 'I guess I'm not...' You wanted to punch, slap, or scratch his face but you'll get sued for that so you let him do what he wants. You slowly stood up and picked the papers on the floor. You saw two other hands helping you picking them up. It's Arashi and Tsukasa. What is Knights doing here, you asked. Well, they're looking for a certain ginger-haired composer who is wandering around ES to look for inspiration and somehow fate dragged him closer to you. "Senaaaa~ let go of me!" Leo flailed his arms and struggled to leave Izumi's hold on his collar. "I just found a perfect inspiration! Let me compose it!" "Not until we return to the practice room, Leo. Leave (Name) alone so they could work properly." Izumi said and dragged Leo as he walked away. What is it with you and gingers today? You heard Leo scoffed from the distance and pouted, "Pretty sure that (Name) could help me in this one for Valentines' Day live. I mean, isn't crushing on someone could be useful for Knights' next song? It's about a young maiden who fell in love with a soldier— Aha! I can see it coming! Inspiration! Inspiration is overflowing! Senaaaaa! Let me compose it~!" Oh you were in for a punch. You exhaled and thanked the other two knights for helping you picking up the papers. Now you're going to sort this out... again, much to your dismay. Before you could charge towards Leo, a door in front of you opened. You just remembered that you're right in front of Café Cinnamon's entrance. What revealed behind the door is the saint, the missionary, the priest himself, Tatsumi Kazehaya, the diamond card soldier of ALKALOID. You could recognize him well because of his teal hair, violet eyes, and two moles lined up perfectly under his left eye. "My, (Name), you're right on time. Come inside." He gestured you to come inside the practice room and you excused yourself to enter. The moment you entered the café, you felt the dread hitting you once again but this time, it felt like a storm surge the moment your eyes met his again. You felt like a meltdown is coming to a close and breaking down on the moment you saw that bright red clump of hair and shining azure orbs behind its innocent frames from the windows of his soul. As if you're trying to look away, a song automatically played in your mind in random. Those ocean blue eyes looking at yours made you felt that you might sink and drown and die. Your right eye twitched the moment you both locked gazes in silence and your brows burrowed in annoyance. How many times have you locked gazes with him? One? Ten? Fifty? Only the gods knows how many times you've done that with him. Bestie, he didn't do anything to you and he's sitting on the sofa right beside Aira. Boy, you could've seen his brows burrowing and eyes twitching because you are literally in the same room with ALKALOID's leader. You broke the staring contest with Hiiro and cleared your throat. You took a seat and began to have a conversation with them, which was quite rare for you because you've spent a lot of time being trained by your upperclassmen at the producer course and guided by the other units for most of the time. "Heya, (Name)! Here, have some tea." Niki placed a teacup on a saucer on the table. Before you could say a word, he interrupted you with a grin. "Doncha worry. Someone paid it for ya~" He waved as he walked away and returned to the counter. Strange, for someone to mysteriously buy you tea before you arrived here. Whoever this is, you're so going to repay them something in return as a mark of gratitude. "Before I could say something about your next live, do you have any questions you wanted me to answer?" You asked them and Hiiro raised his hand like a good student. "What is your question, Amagi?" You picked up the cup from the handle and sipped meekly. "It's actually everyone's question for you but... Are you alright? You seemed down since yesterday?" You accidentally choked and spat your tea at his question. "Whoa— (Name), are you okay?" Aira worriedly asked you and sat beside you. He patted your back to calm yourself down while you coughed up to subside the pain in your throat. "My apologies, everyone... No need to worry. I am alright." You said to reassure them but instead of seeing their relieved expressions, it was full of worry. "A-Are you sure, (Name)? Was it because of me falling on top of you yesterday?" Your eyes widen at Mayoi's question and he saw it. "M-My apologies, (Name)! I didn't get to apologize to you yesterday because I was scared that you'll hate me...! You're our producer until after ALKALOID's live and I hurt you... I'm sorry. I'm sorry...!" He began to panic and frantically apologized. "No, no! None of this is your fault, Mayoi. None of this is your mistake in the first place—" You tried to calm him down by telling him that none of this is his fault but he kept apologizing. "But I hurt you..." "Mayoi, I forgive you so please, calm down..." You sighed in defeat. You tried to reassure him but nothing worked. So, to prove that none of it is his fault, you told them about your worries yesterday. "Actually, it's because of my luck decreasing year by year. Now, it happened every month and it lessened it to a week. It bothered me ever since the month started that I have no other choice but to carry a lucky charm with me— which I forgot almost every day and finally have an ounce of luck when it's always in my blazer's pocket." You confessed. Everyone at the whole table went quiet and listened to you. "Yesterday morning, there is this tv show that it said that my zodiac sign is going to be unlucky until I have the lucky charm— which is a significant other. I didn't even believe at that kind of stuff but somehow, I ended up having the same amount of luck with someone I knew." In New Dimension's office, a sneeze was heard. "Bless me..." He chuckled afterwards and continued his work. Silence. There was mere silence. You broke the ice. "So, now I've answered your question and you've heard all of my worries, any more questions?" "(Name), it's nice to know about your worries and let the weight in you released. It's alright to tell us about your problems. We'll help you." Tatsumi said and you shook your head. "I didn't want anyone else to be bothered by my problems, Mr. Kazehaya. You can forget what I had just said and move on to our discussion for the next live." You began to discuss about the stage setting, their outfits, and the number of people coming to see their performance. Hiiro listened like a child listening to its parent's wonderful and interesting story but his mind wandered to such places. His braincells rubbed on to each other as he began to contemplate on how to protect you from every worst case scenario possible that will occur to you because of your bad luck. Unfortunately for him, you're at the different building and at the different course. You could only visit them after school hours once you have the time or to have a meeting with any unit on campus. But in ES, you could only see the whole unit if you're producing for them full-time or past-time. Mostly, you would be focused on work and rarely had the time for a leisure. He knows that. He knows he couldn't protect you if he wanted to. Gladly, Anzu and Kurone is there with you at the Producer Course to that's a good one for you. But sadly, you're a year apart with Anzu and you're in a different class from Kurone. So that's a cross mark on his list. If there's only a way to protect you, then it'll be just being with you anywhere you go— when he have free time of course. The other braincells of his thought on how to shoo that bad luck away from you. If he's going to use one of the rituals his hometown did to remove the bad luck away from you, it'll be good for you but isn't sure if it's actually that good for you. It's an another cross mark on his list. Another one is him telling you to follow the instructions given to you from what the text on the TV told you. He knows that you don't believe at that but it's worth giving a try, right? "...gi... Amagi? Are you listening to me?" Hiiro was deep in his thoughts that he could barely hear anything around him. He kept thinking and thinking but nothing good came into his mind. "Amagi? Amagi, the meeting is over." You waved your hand in front of his face to check if he's awake. But no, he spaced out and his mind wandered to the gods knows where. You look at Aira who rested his head on the table, tired for today's work and sighed all of his problems away. You felt his tiredness from here and somehow, it added to yours. "I knew I shouldn't stayed up late last night researching..." He quietly muttered. 'I think it's better not to disturb him...' "Hm? Hiiro seemed to be deep in thought. I have a feeling it's not about the discussion but it seemed like it's something else." Tatsumi pondered and you look at him. "I wonder what was this one about this time...?" You sighed again. You wanted to wake him up from his trance but he suddenly stood up and shouted from the top of his lungs. "I got it!" His eyes sparkled and huffed out of determination. Aira jolted up from his resting position and sleepily panicked. "Wh-What's going on...?" "Aira, I finally thought of something! Come with me!" Without hesitation, Hiiro took Aira's hand and dragged him out of the café, leaving their seniors stunned from the sudden burst of excitement from their leader. "Oh dear... Amagi, please give Shiratori a break from your shenanigans... You're just like your brother." You uttered with a sigh and facepalmed. Poor Aira's going to have a field day after this. "I'll be heading off. It's getting dark out here and I have to catch up with Anzu." You pack up your things and excused yourself to leave the café. Just as the two seniors heard the bell ring and the door closed shut, Mayoi chuckled which that concered the teal-haired saint. "Fufu... Ah, youth~ Seems like the innocent, little producer doesn't know what was running inside Hiiro's mind. It better not be known to them on this little game of theirs~" Mayoi smirked and his smirk widen when he knew everything— almost everything on what was going on between you and Hiiro.

You spent your entire night sleeping like a log until the morning that you are late after your second alarm rang. You are completely tired that you didn't hear the snooze on your alarm because of your heavy and blank mind. You began to blame everything on your bad luck and it horrified you to the core. You. are. late. You thought. And you wanted to bury yourself six feet below the ground. You are sprinting towards the school gate like your life depends on it. You are not blaming your bad luck but you are blaming your carelessness that you tripped on one of the cracks on the stone-paved path on the side of the road. You could feel the time ticking slowly as your body fell down to the ground. Gravity loves you suffering. You closed your eyes and waited for the impact but you felt like you were swept off from your feet by someone who has the strength to carry you so easily. You could feel the wind brushing past your hair and a tight embrace on you. You opened one eye and you realized that someone carried you in a princess carry. That was when both of your eyes look up to see who carried you and your heart fell to the pits of your stomach when you recognized those familiar blue eyes and red hair. "Amagi?" "(Name), are you okay? Are you hurt?" Hiiro looked at you full of concern and worry while running. You nodded in response. You could see the faint black circles around his eyes. You were about to question him where did he get those but someone from behind stopped you from doing so. "Hiiro, you idiot! We're late because of you planning and go for an all-nighters!" A cry from the heart soldier was heard behind Hiiro. "We're going to have a field day after this!" "Relax, Aira. There's thirty minutes before the first period starts." Hiiro shouted back at Aira and still made a mad dash even after entering the school gates. Aira huffed and puffed for air but failed that he fell to the ground, tired. "At least... let me breathe..." Hiiro didn't let you go and yet he still carried you. For someone whose body is like a teenager, he has a strength of an adult. "Aira, I'm taking (Name) to the infirmary. See you later." And there he left with you in his arms. Aira felt like puking that he saw him with you but seems like Hiiro's plan is working earlier than expected. Poor blonde lied on the spot and the other students feared that a dead body was seen at Yumenosaki entrance when it was actually just Aira tired from the sudden vigorous physical activity. You were taken aback for what was going on at this whole Hiiro-carrying-you-while-you're-running-late-on-the-way thing. You felt embarrassed because this caught the attention of the students at the hallway. You covered your face out of shame using your bag. You are hoping that no one you know will see this. You are praying that anyone at the student council won't see this. You know that Shinobu is a chuuninja and Mayoi is always hiding at the vents and you are not going to be able to hear the end of it once it reached the StuCo President's ears. It'll be worse is anyone in Trickstar will talk about this and passed on to anyone in Knights— especially Arashi and Ritsu. Your head is spinning at every single possibility that will occur once the word is spread. As scandalous as it seems, you are not going to see the light of day once it was spread around Yumenosaki and ES. Hiiro opened the door to the infirmary and said, "Excuse me! Is Mr. Sagami in here?" "Lower your voice, Amagi. You're too loud." Jin stood up from his seat behind the desk and pointed one of the beds have you seated there. "What happened to (Name) this time?" "(Name) sprained their ankle on their way here—" "Nononononono I'm completely fine, Amagi. Thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me I must head straight to class and good morning, Mr. Sagami. I want to apologize for the sudden disturbance Amagi and I had caused." You immediately left the bed and stood up but you felt a stinging pain on your ankle that you hissed in pain and fall down. Luckily, Hiiro caught you in time and put you back to the bed. Hiiro looked at you out of concern and you are not immune to those unintentional puppy eyes he just did. You quietly groan and facepalmed. "I give up..." You mentally slapped yourself and spoke. "Amagi, return to your classroom. I'll be fine here." He only shook his head and replied, "I'll stay here."

'What is he? A loyal puppy?!' You thought and you are so sure that your face became redder at any second. 'Goddamn! He's too cute!' You could hear Jun's voice the moment you mentally swore. 'Is this what one felt like when they have an adorable puppy-sized pet?! He's just like one!' Your mind automatically visualized Eve's little princess, Bloody Mary. "But you have classes to attend to. I don't want you to hold back from your studies. "I'll be fine, I promise." You tried to make him leave the infirmary but he only replied; "Big Brother told me I'll stay beside the person I care the most. I'm staying here and that's final." You internally screamed when he said that and looked at you with the most innocent-looking child-like eyes out of determination. 'Okay Rinne Amagi, I want to thank you for this adorable sight right in front of me and I want to punch you in the face for saying such things to your brother. That's what a couple should do when one of them need the other when they needed them the most!' "I..." You wanted to say something but you failed. You mentally raised and waved the white flag and let out a distressed sigh. "You're too stubborn. I want to hit you in the head for some sense of reality and common sense." You muttered, guilty and stressed. "Fine... I'll let you stay here but you have to return to class once I'm out of the infirmary. I'll be in your care, Hiiro Amagi." His eyes widen at your words and he seemed like a child who caught its interest. Inside Hiiro's mind is him cheering at hismself at his own progress. Meanwhile your mind repeated the words Hiiro just said like a broken recorder. 'The person I care the most... The person I care the most... The person I care the most... The person I care the most... The person I care the most... goddamnit, Hiiro Amagi.' You didn't care about the fact that this is the second time he brought you to the school infirmary.

Hiiro became protective and followed you almost everyday. It concerned you and your fellow producers on why in the world Hiiro Amagi, the leader of ALKALOID, followed you like a lost puppy. He knows almost all of the entrances and exits, lefts and rights, and almost every room in the school because of you and he kept following you. This made you felt paranoid but that innocent gaze of his made your mind remove all of those worry in you when he was there before your situation got more worse. Whenever you trip, he was always there to catch you on time. Holding a stack of documents that was supposed to be the paperworks for the student council but was mistaken as a stack of proposals. You were told by your seniors at the producer course to return the papers to the student council— which it was at the idol course and the last person you wanted to meet is seated at the seat of the student council president, Mao Isara. All of the embarrassing encounters you made with him made you quiver. You wanted to decline but the other producers there is busy so you had no choice but to accept it. You're currently at the hallway and headed towards the student council office. Like a klutz you are, you tripped on something from the floor and tumbled down. Gravity loves you and you loathed it back. You waited for the painful impact but you were caught by someone. The papers dramatically fell from your hands which that made you reveal the person who caught you in their arms. "Good afternoon, Amagi..." You slightly grimaced the moment you recognized that bushy vermilion hair and azure eyes. "Before you could ask if I'm fine or whatsoever, let me answer it right away. I'm fine. So no need to ask or worry about me." You pushed yourself away from him but his hold on you is too firm. 'Cursed these Amagi genes...' "Mind if you let go? I have papers to pick up." Which you internally cried because you have to organize them... again. When you left something somewhere in the campus or at the workplace and began to look for it, the item you've been searching for was found and given to you by Hiiro himself. "Shoot! Where's my phone?" You frantically rummaged the contents of your bag. "Mr. Sena's going to skin me alive if I'm not on the studio on time..." Dread began to spread across your system. You wanted to forget the last time where you are beautifully late and got scolded by Izumi. Succumbing yourself in despair, you knelt on the floor and prepared yourself to face the wrath of Izumi Sena and feel the glare from his frosty blue eyes. Before the dread invades your mind, the sight of an item made out of modern technology was seen from the corner of your eye. "Is this yours?" He asked. You nodded and tears began to come out from your eyes. "Thank you very much—" You froze when you saw the same person who's been following you back at Yumenosaki and the same person who hid from every corner of ES. "Ah, it's you, Amagi..." Your voice faltered from the sudden realization. "Now if you'll excuse me. I have to meet up with Knights at the studio." And you left without an another word. When you're rushing and was late for something like a meeting or class, he would be there to carry you and bring you to your next destination. Or other times, he'll remind you that you're early when he knows that you thought you're late. 'Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! I'm late!' You made a mad dash on your way to the entrance of Ensemble Square. You are so sure that the gods forbade you to be early and leave your home late. And that late in context is you arriving the place thirty minutes before work hours. You panted for air and sat on the seats on the lobby. You've really had enough of running for your life and arrive later than your desired time. "Goddamn... I'm late... again..." "(Name)? You're quite early today." Hiiro walked towards to the seats and sat beside you. "Actually, I'm late. My feet ache because of these most uncomfortable shoes I wore after all of the running. I picked the wrong pair for today... Not to mention, I have a meeting with fine on 8'o clock sharp and Tenshouin will behead me if I arrived at ES like a huge mess." Without a word from Hiiro, he immediately carried you and entered the elevator. "I'll take you there. That's where I'm also heading to." You arrived at StarPro office fifteen minutes before work hours thanks to Hiiro. It still lasted after ALKALOID's previous live and it concerns you that he was always there before an unfortunate scenario will occur. He is also attentive to anything important and yet it worried you that he used most of his time on you. He should use his time for himself, for school, and his unit. If there is a way to avoid Hiiro, and that is to stay at the producer course's area or not having ALKALOID at your schedule. You don't want him to hear your heart beating loudly when he's near or close to you. Because of this, you wanted to ask for an advice on how to make a certain redhead leave your radar. Getting a ton of luck will work but it's impossible. Another one is your big fat crush towards him developed even more that it made you faint. The cold wind brought you back to reality and realized something when you asked yourself this question. 'Why am I here and why at the rooftop of all places...?' Asking for an advice from a senior who have no love experience is really hard to talk to. You're not close to almost everyone at the producer course so you decided to ask someone at the idol course. Since Valentine's day is coming to a close, you had to prepare since love is going to spread all around Yumenosaki. For sure, you're going to see your fellow producers have a mountain of gifts on their desk. "Senior Narukami..." You weakly called the girl who is applying make-up in class 3-B classroom. "I need your help..." You were practically crying anime tears at this point as you clapped your hands and begged. This caught her attention and she saw the way you begged for her help and to her, it's an adorable sight to see for her to see her adorable junior producer at this time of hour. "If it's about your crush on Aira's unit leader, I'd be happy to talk to you about it." Said the knight and it left you in shock. 'I almost forgot that rabu~i shortie is in the circle Narukami is in...' "Little Aira told me about that yesterday when our circle had a little meeting at Café Cinnamon. When I heard that you'll meet with ALKALOID, I couldn't hold the urge to buy tea for you~♡" Your mouth open agape. She really did buy you tea few days ago— one of the person who is most likely to treat you something on the spot. You rarely met her due to work and school purposes that you heard news from her very later than the said date of event. Arashi put her cosmetics on the desk and stood up from her seat. "Come inside and take a seat. I need you to answer my questions while I make you pretty." Arashi pulled you in the classroom but you were too stunned to notice everything around you and have you sat down on one of the chairs nearby her desk. The moment she raised her brushes and palettes, you shook your head and covered your face. "Senior Narukami, I'm not here for a make-up session. I'm actually asking for an advice—" "Alright, first question, is it really infatuation you are feeling towards him or was it something else?" You gave up. She asked you while she carefully apply sunscreen on your face. "Infatuation... perhaps?" "Perhaps? You didn't know about your feelings? My, what an innocent one you are." Well it's your first time so it can't be helped. "Unlike Anzu who is at an all-boys school and never had any romantic relationships or interests, this is the first time a girl in Yumenosaki— also a producer, had a romantic interest with someone. It seems like this is your first time feeling like this so it seems like it." As if she read your mind, Arashi applied foundation on your face and blush on your cheeks. She proceeds to grab an eyeshadow palette and applied the right color to her liking. "Natural skin tone colors are right for you and a little color that matches your eyes. Now, close your eyes." "Naru—" "Just call me Arashi." "Okay, Senior Arashi, why are you applying make-up on my face? I don't even need a makeover." "That's because you're meeting someone." You could feel her soft hands cupping your cheek firmly and gently. "Aira and I agreed to have you meet a certain someone and give you both an alone time. Thankfully, Tori told me that you have a vacant schedule thanks to the president's kindness. It seems like he knows what we're planning since it's closely related to you. Now open your eyes and look up. Your eyelashes are next." You did as she said and applied the liquid mascara on your eyelashes and brushed it carefully. 'Goshdarnit, Isara. I hope Senior Ritsu will hog up your time alone.' You cursed and mentally threaten Mao that he sneezed in the student council room. "Bless me..." "Actually, what I'm trying to say is—" "Now, hush. It's time for the lip balm." "Arashi..." "This is the first time you said my name," Arashi began to apply lip gloss on your lips carefully. "Almost done... and there!" She said as she closed the container and gave you a mirror. You looked different from your usual self. Arashi did a perfect work of art on using make-up on you. "Fufu, you look like a model (Name)." Arashi said as she placed her hands on your shoulders. "Now, you wouldn't mind if I make a few changes on your outfit..." Arashi did grabby hand gestures over your shoulders and you know that you won't last a day there. "A-Arashi?! I mean, Senior Arashi, I'm fine with this!" "Tut tut, I promised Aira you'll look pretty, Little (Name)~ Now, behave and let me make you look beautiful in his eyes~♡" "I don't think you need to do it..." "Mika~ Mind lending me and (Name) a hand?" She still did anyway. Aira and Arashi (+Mika and Mayoi) planned this. It was unexpected but all you could think is leaving but Arashi and Mika watched you from the rooftop's entrance. You wanted to jump down from the building and it seemed so tempting that you held the railing. But the gods know that the lady is watching you so you stayed there near at the bench under the tree and sighed in defeat. Speaking of Arashi, she suddenly went out of the door and hid behind the wall on the far end of the rooftop entrance and followed by Mika who was frantically dashing his way where Arashi is. You could guess that it's a sign that the person they've wanted you to expect to see is closer for this arranged date they've prepared. You are not mentally prepared for this. You have a great feeling that they're tired of seeing you pining over him. They wouldn't admit but it was clearly evident. And for some reason... "Why did they prepare for this three days before Valentine's day...?" To cut this short, someone carried you here out of your will and definitely it's not Arashi who bridal carried you all the way here and ran to hide from your view and not Mika fussing over you not wearing a coat and scarf to keep yourself warm. "If this happens at work, then I won't let myself see the light of day." The door opened with a loud bang. You stood up to see who's at the door. "Speaking of, he's here with..." your voice faltered when you only saw just him walking his way to you and you could only look at Aira and Mayoi discreetly walking away to the corner and hid there. "Only him..." "Hi (Name)," Hiiro greeted you and you returned his greeting with a small hello. "Aira told me to meet you here. Do you have something to tell me about?" Ah, yes. "Well, it's about you." Hiiro's listened carefully and closely. "These past days, you're following me. Not to mention, you saved me multiple times whenever my clumsy self showed up. Another thing is you spent your whole time these past days doing these on your free time and all both on work and school." "Is there a problem with that?" He innocently asked. "Yes and no. Yes, because you're always there when I don't need help or anything and no, because it's my problem and not yours. So why bother wasting your precious time saving me and having yourself occupied by following me?" "Well..." "Another reason is because of you giving me multiple heart attacks when you're close that I'm close to fainting because of me having this stupid crush on you. Because of this... you saving me a lot of times that I couldn't count, I began to think to myself and began to pine over you that I talked about this whenever I wanted to have a conversation with Senior Narukami and Senior Anzu—" You went on and on until you realized what you had just said. You covered your mouth and apologized when you saw his stunned reaction. Little did you know, he felt the same. Oblivious as he was and followed the culture of courtship in his hometown, he hardly noticed about his feelings that when he talked about once with Aira, the blonde immediately pointed out that he's infatuated deeply for you. He also pined for you. It wasn't obvious that he earned for your attention because he made it seem platonic when he had no romantic cell in his body in his seventeen years of his existence. The way his heart jumped at your words and a small blush with a shade of rosy pink dusted on his cheeks. Currently, he brought Kohaku's hair to shame. Aira always mention whenever Hiiro blushed and it never fazed him in the slightest. You cleared your throat and look away. "Apologies, Amagi. If you'll excuse me." And you left, leaving him stunned under the tree. Arashi and Aira sighed, Mayoi froze, and Mika weakly groaned. A fail but there's progress. "Oh dear. Should we arrange for an another date this Chocolate DreFes?" Arashi asked and the rest nodded in agreement.

Valentines Day— or in Yumenosaki, Chocolate DreFes arrived like a truck crashing on you and transported you to an another world. You arrived at the school building and entered the hallway and the first thing you see is an arch decorated with roses and red and pink hearts. You are literally thinking if it's Aira day or what. Your day will be so not rabu~i. Wandering at the halls seemed like a bad idea. Why? It's because there is a group of student idols following you and watching every move you'd done. Violet orbs are watching you worriedly and bit her fingernail thumb because you are too aware of your surroundings. Her gaze bore holes in yout back and it sends you shivers on your spine. "It's no use. (Name) knows we're here." Arashi uttered. "We'll add a little distance and we'll be at the far end of her radar." "But that also means one thing if we add a little distance— we'll lose sight of them." Aira gritted his teeth. "Where is Hiiro when he need him?" "Didn't Lord Ayase brought him to their meeting spot?" Shinobu asked the two blondes and Aira grimaced. His emerald orbs bore holes into the chuuninja's soul. He glared and asked him, "And why the school farm of all places?" "(Name) likes animals, you know? So why not?" Ritsu looked at you and stealthily followed for a moment "I—" Aira calmed down for a moment and sighed. "Wasn't it supposed to be the school garden...?" Ritsu stopped in his tracks. They both realized their mistake. "Oh..." Ritsu then ran towards you and carried you like a sack of potatoes. It startled you that you panicked. Aira and Shinobu saw this and it frightened them. Knights are obviously known for kidnapping a fellow student in the past and it was obviously started by a model slash idol. "Wait— who?!" "Sorry dear... we really need to do this." Someone covered your eyes with a blindfold and you are so sure that it's the same unit who was known for kidnapping fellow Yumenosaki students. You felt the person carrying you moved and you paled. "So, I'm an another victim of kidnapping that was done by Knights? Seriously! Who taught you? Mr. Sena?" ‘Glad they didn't mention Tsukasa...' The two internally sighed in relief. "Hush down, (Name)." You heard Arashi. "It's better if you don't ask what will happen to you after this." Shinobu and Aira looked at the two knights and looked at each other and back to them. A question popped in to their mind. 'Should we tell this to the president...?' A red streak flashed all the way past the two confused juniors that left them being surrounded by question marks. And they realized it's the young leader of Knights, Tsukasa Suou. "Senior Narukami, Senior Ritsu, put (Name) down! That's KIDNAPPING." Tsukasa's voice was heard from the other end of the hall and ran towards the two third years carrying you. Arashi yelled back, "Says you, Tsukasa~ Ritsu's the one who started this." "Says the one who blindfolded them," Ritsu retorted and didn't look back. He could see the eyes staring at them and it literally says, "Knights are kidnapping someone again..." and it was obvious to the ravenette. "It'll be better if we surprise (Name) on their precious Valentines' date with a certain someone~ Someone like..." "Naru, don't. You'll spoil the surprise." Ritsu chuckled and pinched your thighs, making you squeak. He wants to know if you're still alive from all of the running. He immediately stopped and followed by Arashi and Tsukasa who nearly tripped. "Okay, change positions. Naru, help me put (Name) on my back. My shoulders got stiff." "Rest well, Ritsu," Arashi carried you away from Ritsu and held you in her arms. "I'll take her to the dating spot in your place." Arashi left and squealed as she ran. "See you later~" Tsukasa felt something like plastic held on his hand and saw that it's a bag of chocolates. He saw this and yelled, "Senior Narukami, wait!" The red haired knight followed Arashi and left the tired vampire on the floor.

He groaned, "At least help me up... wha?" Mauve streaks dashed through the halls and picked up the vampire on the floor out of habit. Ritsu sloppily greeted him. "Hey, Maa-kun~" "Hey, Ritsu..." Mao greeted back and nervously looked at Ritsu who is looking at him with that lovestruck look and it was clearly evident that there are hearts forming on his vermilion irises. Two students saw this and followed the srudent council president on the pursuit. 'Seems gay, amirite?' Shinobu and Aira thought as they ran. 'The power of love/The power of Valentines.' Aira mentally grumbled to himself and contacted Mayoi to take Hiiro to the garden. 'Today is not so lovely~ at all!' Airabui: mayoi pls take hiiro to the garden asap Mayoi: what happened? did they change the location? Airabui: yes and they're heading to the garden PLS HURRY Airabui: arashi said that they'll wait for him at the gazebo NOW PLS HURRY BC PRES IS WITH THEM Arashi placed you on a bench near the gazebo of the garden. She carefully took off the blindfold and you were blinded by the morning winter light shining down on the cold land. You raised your brow the moment you laid eyes on her violet irises. She chuckled at your reaction and sat beside you. "Now, now, don't be mad. I have to make you pretty like last time." Arashi took out her make-up kit out of her bag and revealed various brushes on her hands. You dropped a sweat even the weather is cold but you are pretty sure nothing goes well after all of this. After a swift makeover thanks to Arashi Narukami, the most beautiful Knight known in Yumenosaki Academy (Cue Izumi probably shed crocodile tears because he graduated. Sucks to be him.), you look even more prettier than last time, as what she had told you after that. You could hear her happy sigh when she saw someone from the distance coming closer to where you two are. "I did say you have a date right?" You were about to answer but she just squealed and became jittery. "He's already here so that's my cue to leave. Good luck, dear♡" And she left... again. You sighed when you heard Mayoi telling someone that they'll head somewhere and look for someone near the gazebo. It was faint but you felt glad for your good hearing. You look around to see what part of the garden you are and to your surprise and dismay, you are close to the gazebo. "What a cliché plan. It was inevitable is not an overstatement." You muttered and turn around. Your eyes widen when you saw those same eyes that you've admired to see as long as you remembered. "Amagi..." You whispered his name. A tone that only you two could hear. "Hi, (Name)." He greeted you and looked at your eyes, which you look away because you wanted to avoid any eye contact. You cleared your throat to break the short silence. "What brings you here...?" He answered, "Mayoi told me I'll look for someone near the gazebo but it turns out he wanted me to see you. Do you need me for something." "I..." You just had a mental block but you suddenly recovered. " Actually, Senior Narukami— No, I mean, Knights brought me here out of my will because of this certain day." "I see..." He uttered quietly. "Do you want to hang out with me today? You seem like you have no plans this whole day." You began to contemplate if you want to spend time with him today or not. A part of you wants to run away and another part of you wanted him to be with you here. "I..." Suddenly, a memory of you came into your mind. You made chocolates last night and brought it here to school to give it to him. One is obligatory and one is a Valentines' Day chocolate. You opened the zipper of your bag and rummaged through the contents. You internally sighed in relief to see that they aren't damaged after all of this kidnapping shenanigan that Knights had done. Hiiro was surrounded by question marks that he was wondering what got you so relieved after looking what inside your bag. "Amagi... No, Hiiro..." He stood straight when you said his name. This is the first time you said his name. "This is the first time I called you by your name..." He looked at you as if you're saying his thoughts. "I wanted to give you something..." You let out a bag of chocolates. It was wrapped in red plastic and sealed with a gold ribbon. You thought it was the obligatory one and you didn't know which bag did you let out. You closed your eyes and bowed while holding out the bag on your hand. "I like you, Hiiro Amagi! Please accept this chocolate and please be my...?" You opened your eye and it twitched when you saw your Valentine chocolate on your hands and continued. "my Valentine date..." Arashi saw this and she was so sure you didn't expect to take the Valentine chocolate instead of the obligatory one. Arashi told you to pour all of your love on the Valentine chocolate and make the obligatory one simple. Another thing she said is to put it in different colored bags and seal it with diffrent colored ribbons. If the bag is red, then it's a Valentine chocolate. If the color is beige, then it's obligatory. Unknown to you, she took your bag and took out the obligatory chocolate and threw it to Tsukasa when he nearly tripped. She got a bit impatient at the whole scene they had caused but she is so sure that it'll be worth it. She mentally facepalmed at what she had done but she became even more jittery and bit her lip while enjoying the scene behind the bushes. "Valentine date...?" Hiiro tilted his head in confusion. Then he remembered what Aira had told him yesterday. "Okay, Hiiro. Here's a small lesson about the difference of Valentine choclates and obligatory chocolates." Aira pointed at the cardboard of his presentation which Hiiro listened. "Obligatory chocolates are mostly accepted when someone told you that it's obligatory— meaning it's required to give it to the receiver. If someone give you an obligatory choclate, accept it whether you like it or not." "Aira, what if it's a Valentine chocolate?" Hiiro asked and Aira didn't hesitate to answer. "Hiiro, if someone give you a Valentine chocolate and confess to you, it's either you accept it or not. But if it's someone you like, accept it or not. It depends on you." "Even if it's (Name)'s choclate?" Hiiro asked. "Even (Name)'s chocolate." Aira answered. "Even if it's (Name)'s Valentine chocolate?" "Even (Name)'s Valentine cho— wait..." Aira paused and looked at Hiiro. He could probably see a tail wagging real fast behind his back. "Pardon?!" "I know it's illegal for a producer and an idol to be in a relationship but please accept this as (Name) and not as a producer." "I'd be happy to accept as your date, (Name)." That only answer can make everyone's jaw drop, including yours. "W-Wait! I—" You rummaged your bag again and the obligatory chocolate wasn't seen in your bag.  You paled and began to regret your actions. "Something wrong?" Hiiro asked you and you shook your head. "N-Nothing's wrong. Something just slipped out of my mind and forgot. Haha..." 'Arashi... you took the obligatory chocolate out of my bag, right...?' "Yes I did." As if she read your mind, she smirked devilishly and that scared the young knight, which that made him look at the bag of chocolates he held. Hiiro smiled and chuckled, "I wouldn't mind becoming your Valentine date, (Name)." "But it's only today and—" "Hm? I thought we'll be a couple after this." And he remembered what his brother told him. "Hiiro, if ya accept someone's Valentine chocolate, savour it. If there is a certain someone in your mind givin' ya that kind of chocolate, accept it. Maybe they want to date ya and become yer partner for life." Rinne snickered at his own answer when he knows that it's you who he's thinking of. "Then what if I accept (Name)'s Valentine chocolate and have them as your sibling-in-law?" "Heh, that's something the first thing I'll hear before you date someone like— huh?" Rinne's mouth was open agape and the lollipop he savoured fell from his mouth after hearing his brother's words. He didn't expect that. Talk about hearts jumping and sprinting a marathon. "It's— It doesn't work that way...!" You yelped. Your face became redder than before, making you putting Hiiro's hair to shame. "You're supposed to reciprocate their feelings after they confess! Not just accepting a confession like that if you actually want to accept it." "Then what if I felt the same as you do?" Hiiro innocently asked and you felt like fainting. "Then that was a little enough for the receiver to accept it." "Then what will you say when I remove the what if and tell you directly?" You could feel your heart skipping multiple beats and had an another mental block. "I—" Hiiro held your hands and smiled. You could see an another Subaru right in front of you because it was too bright for you to see. "I like you too, (Name). I felt the same way. I accept you, your confession, and your chocolate. I wouldn't mind becoming your Valentine date and please accept as my partner for life. I wanted to tell you this as Hiiro Amagi, not Hiiro Amagi of ALKALOID." He said and you felt your knees weak and wobbly like a tubeman dancing outside of stores. "I... accept your confession, Hiiro Amagi..." "They did it! (Name) finally confessed!" Arashi cheered first and jumped out of the bush but Ritsu and Tsukasa stopped her before your situation takes a wild turn. You and Hiiro look around to see who screamed but saw no one. He looked at you and held out his hand and said, "Mind if I escort you to your classroom?" "I can go there by myself, Amagi." You said and you could see puppy ears folded down. "I insist." He said as he let out a small pout. You scratched the back of your head and surrendered. "Alright, fine." You could see him brighten up like the sun. His aura can be mistaken as an another Subaru, indeed.

The next day, you met Anzu at the main entrance of Ensemble Square and told her everything what had happened yesterday at campus until you both reached the lobby. She listened while seeing you smile like a child finally appreciating something they cherished deeply. Little did you know is that she was at the other side of the garden, away from where Arashi and the others are. It was all fine but the two of you got interrupted when your names are called by a certain someone. "(Name)! Anzuuuuu! Uchuu~" An eccentric ginger dashed towards you two and you both managed to dodge him. He tripped on his feet and fell to the floor. He sputtered and turned to face you two. "How mean! I wanted to hug you both and this is what I get?" He pouted. "Leo, you can lower it down if you like. It's morning." You held out your hand and Leo accepted it and helped him up. Leo noticed something and it clicked in his mind. "Everytime I'm a few seconds close to hug you, you always fall down. This time, you dodged it. How come?" "Pure instinct." You plainly answered. "Dunno. This morning, I felt a wave crashing onto me and everything went well. I was completely wondering  how did that happen, to be honest." Anzu knows and she preferred not to say it. "Hm, I see—" "Tsukippi... Time to practice. Secchan is waiting for us." Ritsu grabbed Leo by the collar and dragged him away. "Ritsuuuuu... I want to talk to (Name) and Anzu." "Talk to them later." Ritsu yawned and left the area with Leo in tow. Anzu looked at you and asked you something that made your cheeks red. "I heard that you confessed to someone. Is it true?" "Wait— does anyone in Yumenosaki know?" You covered your face to hide the blush. She answered, "Not everyone... I think I saw Knights yesterday at the garden. I was just passing by and went there for air until I saw them. It caught my attention because of those suspicious bushes  near Trickstar." 'Knights and Trickstar?!' "Please kill me..." "Good morning, Anzu. Good morning, (Name)." A voice from the entrance of Ensemble Square was heard from where you are and the first thing your eyes had seen is red. And it's your boyfriend, Hiiro Amagi. "You're pretty early today, ALKALOID." Anzu said You calmed yourself down and checked your schedule. "Seems like your unit is the first on my schedule, Hiiro." "Mhm, Tenshouin told me that yesterday at Starmony Dorm." Hiiro responded and smiled. "Looking forward to work with you, (Name)." "Same here, Hiiro." Tatsumi, who isn't aware of yesterday's incident was left confused and curious at the same time. He looked at Mayoi who acted like a proud parent and Aira just sighed. You and Anzu excused to leave and went to StarPro office to meet with Eichi. As you two left and out of the radar, Tatsumi asked his fellow unitmates. "Did something happen at Yumenosaki?" "Hiiro... he..." "Hiiro..." Mayoi and Aira hesitatntly answered at the same time. "He's dating someone." They said it at the same time again but lower in volume. "Did (Name) helped Hiiro confess to someone?" Mayoi nodded and Aira shooked his head. Tatsumi asked again and pondered, "I don't see him as someone who will date anyone..." "That's because he's courting someone and you didn't notice." Aira said and looked at his leader. "Care to elaborate this, Hiiro?" Hiiro was about to answer but Aira covered his mouth. "W-We're at a public area so why not talk about this somewhere private." Then it all connected to the teal-haired senior's head. Hiiro can only just nod because Aira still covered his mouth. "And since when did it happen?" Tatsumi asked again. "Since the day when Hiiro dragged me out of Café Cinnamon..." Aira only answered for Hiiro. He feared that his loud voice can spread rumors and scandals. "And who is it?" "Ithwathmmhmm" Hiiro tried to say something but all the three could hear is muffling noises from Hiiro and Aira pressed his hand harder on Hiiro's mouth. But Aira paled when he saw Mayoi whispering to Tatsumi's and the teal-haired nodded. "I see..." He chuckled. "Good luck on your relationship with them, Hiiro." "Aihwul" He still answered but Aira couldn't just let him say it out. He gritted his teeth and told him, "Don't say this out loud or rumors will spread like wildfire. Understand?" Hiiro can only nod. "Ah, young love..." "Tatsumi, you only graduated..." "I feel like an old man when you're feeling the youth, you two."

W/N:

*Googles on how to get a Hiiro irl* and realizes that that kind of person doesn't exist.

[sarrie]

word vomit venting bc apparently the privacy fence of mental illnesses have allowed emotions to seep through for the moment.

So I've mentioned this to a few folks, but haven't actually talked about it anywhere openly. Early last year my mom got diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's - she's turning 65 this year. Her symptoms aren't...bad per se - not what I know they will be as this disease progresses. We live about seven hours away, and while my partner and I have traveled to visit my folks a decent amount, it's been difficult to schedule them to come up here. Mostly because my father sort of routinely puts a damper on those plans. Like, don't get me wrong. Last year around this time when I had my hysterectomy my mom stayed with me for I think almost two weeks while I recovered. Then, earlier this year when Taylor had to go out of town for work she was able to stay with me while I was having some heart issues that we were trying to sort out. (Which is a rant in and of itself - primarily me, yelling at my primary care provider to listen to me when I say my thyroid medication is too high and I'm having bad side effects due to the above-average-dose he has me on but he says the bloodwork looks fine and now I may have damage to my heart because my resting bpm was 100+ for years BUT THAT'S, AGAIN, ANOTHER STORY.) But now my father is traveling a lot for work and leaving my mother alone at the house. Which, again, her symptoms aren't too terribly advanced, but there are things she loses and forgets and she becomes irritated and angered more easily by small things. There is also little to no support system for her there - if she needed something there are neighbors, but family is all too far away. The other thing is my father will be traveling for my mom's birthday, and I am trying to convince him to let her come stay with Tay and I so we can celebrate and she doesn't have to be alone on her birthday. But he says no, she has to stay there and take care of the house. And it is so frustrating to see him put her health on the back burner like this. They haven't even discussed future care plans yet which, while morbid and sad and nobody wants to think about it, needs to be done when rational decisions can be made and we don't have to panic and quickly make choices that we maybe don't want. I am also offering to go there to stay with her for a week or however long I am able to, and my dad just says "No, no it's fine save it for later." But it comes off as, like, "hey no you can't come see your mom and I'm not letting her come visit you." It doesn't help that I am also realizing that, perhaps, my childhood wasn't healthy and my father played a large roll in that, lmfao. (He also recently told me he liked having me when I was a baby because I didn't do anything, but didn't like it when I got older. So there's that.) They, primarily my father, kept my mother's diagnosis from me for months. They knew about the Alzheimer's for months, and I knew that my mom was getting a full work-up to check, including a spinal tap and lots of bloodwork and imaging, but they just left me hanging. I would call and ask almost every day if they got results from the tests, or if the doctor they were seeing gave an official diagnosis, and they just kept saying 'nope, nothing.' Before this, my mom had surgery for a minor colon spot that was cancerous, and her post-op stay was horrendous. She was taking her leads off and wandering the hospital confused, and people couldn't get through to her and she kept trying to escape and my dad just straight up didn't tell me for almost a year. I could have visited and helped. He could have actually stayed the night so she wasn't waking up confused and scared and alone, especially when it came to light that they weren't taking the best care of her, and were overdosing her on opioids and other pain meds. And just last week my dad was, again on travel, barely an hour north of where I live. And he didn't tell me. We could have driven up and had dinner with him one night this week, especially because he's doing a class that is over in the late afternoon/early evening. I think I last saw him around Christmas? I just!! don't like the feeling of trying to enjoy the time I have left with my folks and my father just doesn't seem to want to be a part of it or allow it. And I'm worried for my mom being left alone so much.

[qvirkycrxxtvre]

I’ve decided whilst tripping balls on mushrooms this evening that I will be posting here a tad more.

What it is, is I keep a diary on my notes app on my phone, but I’m deciding to just like, move it. Here.

I say this because I feel like it’s such a waste to live the life I live and it to be told to no one. I know I have this conclusion bc I have dead relatives that didn’t have the literacy to document their stories and I remember my family asking me to listen to these terribly scary familial stories in hopes I would do something good with them, make some kind of art. I won’t.

I don’t talk to my family anymore.

Pause rephrase

I’m not telling you my name, but I want whoever reads this to know this blog will contain the incredibly intimate thoughts of a mentally unwell woman. Me.

I need help, and I’m sure I’ll get there. Hold on I need to restart again

I need it to be known my Husband is a good man, who is coping with a very traumatized wife. My life has always been very interesting and I guess I feel an upswing to that coming soon again. I was one of those who grew up chronically online and had unrestricted internet access starting at the age of 6 maybe, but I still had access even at 3

$€£¥

Sorry okay back back back Maybe I’ll make a notation yup let’s do $€£¥ to notate whenever my ADHD brings me away from my writing so if the thought is incomplete but it’s still in the entry, that’s what happened.

I uh. Used to have a very very public diary. Multiple. Some way more public than others. I don’t really value privacy, my Husband is doing his best to teach me these things like what’s okay and what’s expected but like

It’s fucked okay anyways I think I gave the disclaimers I needed

Fuck the world building I just need to recap all the shit that went down, ugh I can feel it in my guts that I’m supposed to go write a scathing yelp review but no I, I wanna write it in my diary ya feel me? Maybe if I don’t write terribly, I can copy paste lmfao okay sorry back back back

Or actually does it matter? I can’t remember okay yes okay hold

Yes so that notation worthy pause was me reminiscing on our night so so hard that I felt the need to message my friend about the night but then I remembered I literally am starting a diary as a coping mechanism to get the crazy things I need to say out of me without disturbing my life via messaging actual friends or my Husband to start crazy stuff when I really just need a place to vent.

$€£¥

Sorry, see this is why we don’t have Hemingway ass writers modern day. I’m telling you, if I could focus long enough to tell you my adventures it would be like The Sun Also Rises ahhh it’s always interesting starting a public diary bc it’s like damn I have to introduce myself kind of like not really, I talk about myself and rehash my life on a daily basis so I guess whatever one doesn’t know about me, you can find out in a few days when I get to it.

My brain is literally so Wattpad (where I once had a public diary) that I’m trying to title this project to a degree. Eh,it’ll come in time.

Ugh. I took my meds and when they kick in I’ll go to bed and I’ll still haven’t told anyone about tonight ahhhh

You need to understand that I’m considerably slow processing speed wise but like when given the time to get there, I have a lot of mind.

Anyways. Okay I think I’m finally not tripping balls.

My Husband is asleep in bed next to me. We got home not too long ago- it’s 12:48PM- put the baby to bed, ate our pizza burgers joyously.

$€£¥

See okay cool now I can just tell it here

God so, there was obviously a time before I was married. I still have friends from that time period.

I currently play DnD on a weekly basis with my Husband, my middle school best friend, anddd

our DM. We jokingly call him Daddy Master because of a typo my Friend made in the group chat.

But god, if she only knew.

I keep getting distracted writing on here because obviously, I want to tell her something.

It’s “What I wouldn’t do to have gone home with Daddy Master tonight”

I hate knowing there was a time when that could have been what happened.

We had some dumb pizza and beer issues tonight and honestly, he handled it. It’s so fucked, I loved a masculine man. I love someone taking lead. I love someone driven to protect. Ugh, and his car was so so clean

So, we ordered food right? But it never came. It was some bullshit. So two hours later, Daddy Master in the front seat, my Friend in shotgun, me behind Daddy Master and my Husband behind my friend

Okay see pause and go back again, the reason calling this guy Daddy Master is extra funny to me, is because I literally used to go to this man when I was younger to get my fill of DD/lg play (it was a trade, I had to do feet stuff for him idk) and like this was all on a friends level because like

Like how I mentioned previously, I don’t entirely understand privacy and something that comes in tandem with that is I also didn’t understand boundaries and what was for people in relationships vs family vs friends of that makes sense.

Anyways. Uh, my Friend doesn’t know how I know our DM. My Husband knows to an extent. That we met on tinder. Same place I met my Husband, years later.

What the fuck was I trying to say

Oh

God I just, my husband isn’t… sexy when he’s mad. He’s effeminate, in like a whimper/panic stutter frustration way, but then also he’s… he’s prone to hit… things…

But Daddy Master? Bruh.

$€£¥

Sorry. Okay I need like a 4th person pronoun that isn’t “Chat” that I can reliably say to address the readers or else Bruh and bro (my default words) are going to be everywhere here

Dearest Reader. DeRe. Boy if that don’t look like someone making fun of John Deer products in the sponagar voice

Ugh

Anyways, I think I WILL make content on here. A mixed media diary. I used to do comic strip diaries at one point. I won’t take it that far but def anticipate some soundgasm audios attached here and there

I want to tell people things but I feel the meds kicking in, and it’s so late at night.

I’m going to go listen to some audios and jill off now. Ugh. I’ll become a better writer as this goes, I’m sure

Goodnight 1:24AM

05202024

[vypridae]

hi !! (a late response to the vent, but) I don’t know a lot about improving your art, artstyles, etc, but i know the typical vague “just practice and use references!” gets tiring. so i’ll try to give specific examples (from my experiences) that worked ??

i improved most of my anatomy and artstyle through animatics

i had a hamilton phase, and animatics basically forced me to learn a lot of anatomy + drawing so many frames made me realise which parts of my artstyle were inconvenient to draw? and which parts of my artstyle i just did not like

it also feels, in a way, rewarding, if you look back on an earlier part of the animatic and go “this looks bad” because you know you’ve improved since then

hmmm for artstyles in general tho. for my art, i took the artstyles i really liked and used them as references? sometimes it helps to trace over the art you like to get an idea of how it’s draw, as long as you don’t use the traced ver in your actual drawing

what i also do is, i’ll put the art i like on top of my art, on another layer at lower opacity, then liquify my own art to match the lines of the art i like. of course, we shouldn’t post that version, but it’s a nice way to learn what you makes you dislike your own style and like that person’s artstyle. it doesn’t always work, but it’s what i do sometimes

like i’ve been drawing in this style for months but ngl, i still use the same picture for eye references every single time i draw an eye LMFAO. i also constantly have bsd manga panels in my ibispaint reference window and i still use them almost everytime i draw. just find drawn references that are in a style you enjoy :D

if there’s an artist you like and can contact, you can ask them about the artists that inspired their art? or maybe the references they use for their artstyle. some people have guides on how to replicate a certain artist’s artstyle too, i followed one to figure out the tbhk artstyle (very good for coloring :3)

actually on the topic of coloring. for colors, i’d just color pick from the reference to see what color it actually is. if it doesn’t match my own art then i’ll recreate the color in a way i’m happy with. like the actual colors in the tbhk art feel too saturated for my own art, so i recreated a softer version of the colors they’d use

i’ll add more if i remember anything. anyways, goodluck!! i believe in you :D

there is no reason you had to be so helpful and sweet how dare you /j thaNK YOU UHUGHGRHGGN

[bonymeth]

7/19/23

I’m gonna be a bit more vulnerable on here. I’ve noticed that I don’t say a lot about myself lol (other than my gf she’s my whole world so ofc ur gonna hear abt her).

Idk if I can bring myself to share my first name so middle name will have to do: I’m Monte :D nice to meet you! I’ve been struggling with an ed since I was 9 and I’m 21 now so you do the math lol.

The better half of my life has been me being miserable and literally being an incel with no social skills cos my issues were so debilitating.

I began having substance abuse problems when I entered middle school. Morphine was the first drug I tried and gradually I moved to heroin and meth. Drugs really helped with my social ineptitude and weight loss, but it also put me into debt that im still paying off lmfao. My family also has history of schizophrenia so the meth really fucked my brain up. Started talking to demons literally. So fucked lol xD. I still see shadow people to this day and im on a monthly abilify shot. Don’t do drugs kids. It WILL ruin your life.

I also was in my first real relationship during the height of my addiction, and unfortunately it was with a narcissist. Trigger warning for abuse but to give you an idea of what I was dealing with: when we were homeless and hotel hopping, they would book a room and go in beforehand to hide all the clocks and phones and would leave me alone for days with just enough dope to not have me withdrawing like a bitch by the time they came back. They would cheat constantly and not hide it and if I brought it up they would laugh in my face. They only bought food for themselves (which honestly was fine by me). The only good thing this person did was stop me from shooting up on one occasion. Anyways. Yeah.

Woah long rant about my ex. Sorry.

Anyways I don’t mean to trigger anyone, I just want to vent a little bit. I don’t have a therapist (I really should get one) and I don’t have friends so yeah.

I’ve been 2 years sober though! Will be three on my birthday! :) although it was hard giving up dope cos it helped me speed run to 90 lbs without trying, I have never felt GENUINELY happier than I do today as a sober Chad.

Here are some BAD things drugs did to me to scare you youngsters off from doing dumb shit: my skin was rotting. Yeah. Any cut or scrape I had would literally rot instead of heal. My fingernails started to fall off. My face (which was once clear) is now crater city — the scars from picking are still very visible on my face. My breath was horrible and no amount of brushing my teeth fixed it. I started losing control of my bowels and bladder. I once shat and pissed myself before passing out in my filth high off my ass and I didn’t care cos I was doped up.

If you take anything from this post, please let it be to never do drugs. And if you do drugs anyway, please never reuse needles. And always carry narcan, even if you’re sober — you can save a life. Anyways, have a good day!! New Monte lore just dropped!!!1!! :o

[bleachposting]

...waaaah so i applied for the teach in japan programme...not gonna name it for the sake of not getting flagged here and i was really hoping i’d get declined just bc then i wouldn’t have to make a decision... results came back this week and i made it onto the reserve list,,, so i could go if someone dropped out but it’s kind of a drop of a hat kinda vibe and may not even happen

it honestly gives me so much excitement to think that if i said yes i could go to japan this year ... like ive been dreaming for so long and now maybe i could?! my heart feels really swayed but my brain is really like girl u should decline ... i’ve got to finish my ma which i can’t just put on hold, there’s a family trip to the home country which like... as someone who is so passionately applying my asian identity in all my creative and academic work,, it would be hypocritical not to join, my family will literally flip shit if i go too, i’ve got financial goals like replacing my phone and laptop and getting a root canal lmfao but work has been getting harder and harder despite it being my favourite workplace i’ve ever worked, plus im even establishing a writing career now... honestly escaping to japan and just living spontaneously it so tempting and im definitely one to cave to impulse

i really dont know what to do :( it just pains me so much of sending my email declining even though i know it’s what’s best

ugh at the same time tho, i’ve told a few of my close friends and like i’m just pissed that no one has really taken the time to ask me about it? like they’ve been like ‘oh that sucks’ but no one has had the time of day to be like ‘hey like really tell me about it’ and like i’ve been so just touchy the last few days and not acting myself and it’s just shit that no one’s like ‘hey r u okay?’ like i GET that i’ve got a part to play in being transparent and asking for help but damn it just sucks i’ve really been the supportive friend the last few months w so many people and im sick of it?? im literally like well nah i’ve been an anxious wreck since that flasher incident and no one’s been like ‘hey ur acting differently’ i’ve literally been pushing myself to the bone with work and writing and still no ‘hey like ur literally burnt out like i see u dropping out of social commitments ur always on’ like why can’t someone just ask me how i’m doing like how i’m reeeally doing

aaaah vent >:( but it is what it is right? i’m gonna watch your name and weathering with you before i send the decline email just to see if that’s enough to change my heart but im not super hopeful it will be a game changer but at least looking forward to spending a day on my own terms 

[creaturebehavior]

like i used to be better at masking and i fully burnt myself out

also btw. i know i do have bpd, and i haven’t mentioned this in awhile, and maybe it is just bpd, and maybe everyone with bpd feels like i do (i am still researching and trying to learn about my diagnosis) but, i still wonder if i’m autistic and i just don’t know what to do about that. it also could possible be adhd. i feel autistic as fuck and i have for a long time and for many years that’s what i thought was my main issues but i have so many issues it’s just so hard to know.

either way, even if it’s just the bpd + cptsd + ocd + ed + addiction which is plenty, i have wasted all my energy all my entire life masking and i even got fully clean and sober and i masked my ass off for nearly two years before u burnt out so hard i literally was like if i don’t leave school and start smoking a little bit of weed i’m gonna literally commit suicide or worse so.

God i need help. i don’t feel ready to start trying to heal again.

being sober was a nightmare. feeling is going to kill me someday. bpd famous last words? lmfao god i wish i were dead god i wish i weee dead.

i’ve gone to therapists when i wasn’t ready in the past and they fired me as a client after a few sessions and it was a waste of time and money and resources

the world wants me to be ready for them. the world only wants me to go to therapy so i can get a job and every time i try to work with people i get so burnt out and i go crazy and i start getting all these thoughts about hurting them and hurting myself

no one cares about me being ready to heal and to process just for me. i’m not ready and i don’t want to. but i have to take medications and go to therapy so i can work minimum wage right? that’s the only reason any of us are alive

i’m so unhappy

i thought i was pursuing my career and i actually thought i was going to press on and push through it like i just needed to vent and get re-motivated or some extra support whenever my therapist suggested to me that maybe i made the wrong decision in picking the career i did she started questioning my passion because school was stressing me out so much. i was mad at first that she would suggest such a thing instead of encourage me through the next couple minths until graduation. but yeah instead i began to reconsider everything and as much as i realize she was actually projecting her own feelings about her career onto me (she shared openly about her own insecurity in college since she changed her career so late into life and about how she’d been putting off taking the final exam to get her license) i still am just sick enough to distort whatever it is she may have actually said to me into me feeling like what she said to me was “you’re not making any progress. you should give up.” and i heard her loud and clear on that one. i tried to ignore it and tune it out and try to get my brain to think rationally and “she didn’t say that and why would any therapist say that that’s not how she meant it.” but my brain keeps saying back to me that she was suggesting i chose the wrong career and i feel insecure enough to agree with her.

like this is how insane my brain is. like it’s know it’s crazy but ever since she said whatever it is she actually said, all i can remember is how it seemed like she was suggesting i give up

and so one day i said to myself she’s right i chose the wrong career. i won’t ever be successful in this career. because i already believed these things.

i already believed i wasn’t good enough and that i wouldn’t be able to make it through so whenever she suggested maybe i made a mistake in choosing my career path i was like i guess all i needed was one person to agree with me but of course it had to be my therapist who suggests i made the wrong decision

we lost touch shortly after this. it became harder and harder to see her

and yeah i am highly suggestible and yes i believe that’s a symptom of whatever is wrong with me

i already believed i couldn’t do i just needed someone else to agree with me

[truecorvid]

.

[elysianslove]

Hewwooo! This ask just came into my mind and I wanted to share. So Yuuji has a girlfriend that is a civilian and at first Sukuna is annoyed by her but as time passed he starts to take a like on her since she's always so nice to him despite him being a curse. And he's just so confused about his feelings because him being the king of curses falling for a weakling? Ridiculous. I want to read your interpretation of this idc if its hcs or scenario. Do whatever you like❤

hi my love!! i really hope you like this!! i made it into headcanons so i can go over a larger span of time more smoothly, so i hope that’s okay!

i’m getting so many sukuna requests hell yes 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

okay so let’s make it that you’re yuuji’s gf from before he ate sukuna’s finger ( yeah btw wtf is up with your bf ??? )

he called you as soon as they’d announced the death of his grandpa, because it had felt like you were the last family he had left. seriously you’re his whole world

you’re there when megumi starts explaining stuff about how this finger’s super dangerous and people will die you and yuuji are like 😃✋🏼 wha 

but also so unbothered bc he can’t be serious

turns out he is serious laugh out loud

yuuji makes you go home as you’re at the school gate and you’re like mf what??? no???? i’m not leaving you?? 

he ends up making you wait and then he just never comes back

megumi explains everything to you 

but again you’re like 😃✋🏼 pause wtf 

you keep texting him and calling him and he’s not responding you’d be angry at him if you weren’t so fucking worried 

and so eventually he finds you again 

after eating sukuna’s second finger (again, what the fuck sir) 

now megumi had told you he was now like ? possessed ? by a curse? it sounded like gibberish to you tbh and it was the last thing you were thinking about when you finally saw him again

all that mattered was that he was okay and alive and in your arms 

you’ve never hugged him tighter tbh 

so anyways ! yuuji does not want you to meet sukuna 

like ever 

but when he meets you one day really frustrated from a mission, you ask him about it, and he just vents out everything to you. he tells you how the responsibility can be so overwhelming sometimes, and how sukuna can be so infuriating and you can’t imagine what it must be like having this guy in your head 

and then you just go 

“can i meet him?” 

at first he’s like absolutely not ma’am are u insane 

but then you convince him, telling him you trust him and reminding him he has control 

so he shifts 

you really were expecting something horrendous like seriously you were anticipating fainting from fear 

he’s just your bf 

with a rougher edge 

you like instantly relax 

even if this guy’s expressions are nothing like yuuji’s, you remind yourself that it’s still yuuji inside, no matter what 

“i like your — tats?” 

what do you even say to a curse??? 

he’s scowling at you so much you might piss yourself but you just repeat constantly that he can’t hurt you 

“you disgust me,” he spits out

yuuji shifts back so quick, and just groups you on his arms 

“that wasn’t me, i swear,” he says to you and you have to calm him down and tell him it’s okay !!  it’s not his fault the guy’s an ass 

now! yuuji’s pretty comfortable with your level of physical affection 

in fact, he loves it so much. it’s one of his favorite things about you. 

so he’s always welcoming an embrace from his favorite person in the world, but it’s so hard to ignore sukuna’s words in his mind repeatedly saying how this is so revolting 

he tries his best to pay him no attention 

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and a mouth appear somewhere on yuuji’s body and it’ll say “get ur hands off my vessel human!” and ngl

it always makes you laugh

like how comical is that

eventually, over time, the hugs are 

kinda nice, sukuna realizes 

like he’s a thousand year old cursed spirit

he’s not really gotten any affection yk 

like ever 

and it’s not that he ever wanted it

but being with you

or well, him possessing yuuji and yuuji being with you and you being with him through transitive property (thank you grade 7 math)  

it really like softens him

kinda 

a little bit 

like the tiniest bit 

some part of him, he probably thinks it’s yuuji and not even him and that he’s just confused but really some part of him grows to anticipate the hugs 

and when you kiss yuuji 

god

your mouth feels so good he wants to feel it for himself 

it’s like angering him how you’re growing onto him, so he asks yuuji to shift them 

and they do shift

you’re a little surprised bc yuuji gave u like a 3 sec warning before those familiar markings appeared on his skin

“i never thought i’d see you again,” you admit. 

and he just kisses you 

like full on the mouth 

no warning

you pull him back in shock, and rest a hand on his shoulder to keep a distance between you two

“i don’t know where this is coming from but it doesn’t feel right, sukuna.” 

and you’re just

you’re just so nice

why are you so nice???

“i love yuuji, so much, and even though you’re sharing a body you’re still a whole other person. it feels wrong.” 

god why are you so good? it’s infuriating???? 

yuuji shifts back, starts apologizing again like the first time

“you have to stop apologizing for something someone else did, babe.” 

when he’s alone with sukuna that night he’s like dude, dude, bro, my man — we gotta talk boundaries bc wtf

sukuna just goes “not fair u get to kiss her” 

like yeah??? she’s my girlfriend tf ???? 

so sukuna resorts to watching (or feeling) from the sidelines again

as he grows more and more affectionate towards you 

until he’s just as protective over you as yuuji is

until he realizes that 

what yhe fuck

maybe he has feelings for you because, one of the main things about you is that the two times you’ve encountered him, you’ve never treated him like a curse. even if being treated human was once considered belittling to him, having you dote on him like that, speak to him as softly

it made his brain go brrrr 

so he asks yuuji one day, “can i kiss your gf” 

like that’s something you just casually ask

took a lotta convincing but eventually yuuji says “if she says yes then okay” 

it takes like 

90 minutes for both you and yuuji to decide that you’re okay with it. sukuna’s like fuck it ion wanna anymore lmfao

but anyways 

yuuji shifts into him 

and 

he doesn’t even wait the impatient mf 

he just kisses you so suddenly, cupping your neck and tugging at your hair like damn how long has he been wanting to do this

clearly way longer than even he thought 

after that yuuji doesn’t exactly share you, but yeah he’ll let sukuna kiss you every now and then

sukuna’s still not fully accepting of his feelings towards you, but he learns to appreciate you

especially your kindness towards him and yuuji, and the tenderness of your touch 

he never would’ve seen it coming when he awoke in this teenage boy’s body, but he can admit that you’re definitely an added benefit

[nightowlwriting]

summary: fjord takes care of the mighty nein. you take care of fjord. (part 4/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 2.7k

warnings: mentions of self-hatred, bullying, lack of self-confidence

note: idk why this one took me so long and, honestly, it was almost super nsfw lmfao

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

Fjord is a man who appears to know exactly what he needs and when he needs it. You’re not so sure. You tend to hang back when the group talks to people, or finds jobs for coin, just to watch. That’s what you like to do - get information, tuck it away, use it later.

It just happens that sometimes you end up watching Fjord. There’s no reason, not really. He’s the leader by default, no matter how much Nott will say that it’s Caleb. He does most of the talk, smiling all coy and leaning against things to charm the party’s way through whatever Gods forsaken situation you end up in. It mostly works, with some exceptions. There are things you begin to notice in the nights after Fjord has failed to charm someone with a well-placed wink, or a sir or a ma’am. He makes the fire just a little bit larger, stacking logs and kindling and using his flint so that Caleb doesn’t have to use his magic. He cooks heartier food, sometimes even disappearing and coming back with a skewered animal from the forest to add to the pot of simmering soup. He takes the first watch and doesn’t wake anyone until halfway through the second watch so that everyone can sleep longer, even if it makes him crabby the morning after.

You come to a conclusion. Fjord takes care of people when he feels like he’s not enough. He overcompensates in his acts of kindness when something he does fails - but why? To make you all stay? To make sure you know his worth in the group? To make up for whatever he sees as a downfall? Honestly, you’re worried it’s a little bit of all three. You’re not really sure about how the mind works - that would be more for Molly, or Caleb honestly - but growing up in an orphanage with children who pick and prod at your every physical characteristic cannot be good for a person. Especially with Fjord insisting that he doesn’t have a last name, despite the times that he introduces himself and you see it die on his lips before he can say it. There’s something there, but you won’t pry. People deserve their secrets. They deserve to keep something for themselves.

If he wants to keep his last name, that’s fine with you. If he wants to keep the self-loathing inside of him until he explodes, well, that’s not fine with you. That’s why when you realize that he decompresses by making himself useful, as if the group might dismiss him just because a few people were immune to his charms, you decide to do something. No amount of reassurance from anyone will convince him otherwise and the rest of the group tends to shrug away from his slightly overbearing kindness when something goes south. Caleb, Beau, and Molly are just uncomfortable with it while Jester is usually too engrossed in journaling, Tusk Love, or talking to the Traveler. Nott is somewhere between Caleb and Yasha (uncomfortable and straight-up not around to be doted on.) And… Well, that leaves you.

It’s not that you mind Fjord’s constant doting after he perceives something to have gone wrong, but it’s hard to let him in. Your life before the Mighty Nein wasn’t exactly peaches and cream, either, but you know that he needs this. He needs to feel like he’s doing something for someone or he’ll break. You only notice that, though, after a particularly rough, rainy day of trying to get information out of people for a job. Fjord had forgotten something important which threw off the communication and sent everyone you were working with into an angry tizzy. By the time you make it back to the tavern, everyone is soaked to the bone and cranky, even you - and you tried your best to avoid getting out in the rain. What you really want to do is go back to your room and change out of your wet clothes and then go to fucking bed, but you hold back. The group disperses one by one until it’s just you and Fjord left at the bar, and before you can make your leave you see his hands shaking. His hands, which are large and calloused and strong, are shaking like a leaf in the wind. There’s no other outward sign that he’s feeling stressed or upset, and that surprises you. It also worries you. This is not how Fjord acts when something goes wrong. He doesn’t sit at the bar and brood over an ale - he mother-hens his friends until they’re sick to death of hearing his deep, drawling voice.

The combination of these things is probably what makes you pause halfway out of your seat, eyes narrow and trained on him. He makes eye contact for a brief second before looking back down to his drink. You know that approaching and asking him if he’s okay will get you nowhere but you can’t leave him alone at the bar, not when you know he’s stewing on every mistake, every misstep, whether they really happened or he’s just overanalyzing his movements. He’s your… He’s more than a friend to you, despite the fact that he doesn’t know that and you don’t show it outwardly. Fjord means too much to you to be able to let him sit and spiral into a funnel of self-doubt. You know that it will be weird to put your pride to the side and ask for help, but you also know that you don’t really need help.

But asking Fjord for help means that he’ll feel better and you think that’s a very good reason to shelf your pride for a night.

He barely looks up at you when you approach, still dripping all over the tavern’s floors and hesitant to speak. He doesn’t speak, either, just takes another long pull from his ale to bide his time until you leave. (Probably.) You take the leap first and say his name. “Fjord.” He doesn’t look at you. “I know we’ve all had a bad day,”

“You can say that again,” He snorts.

“We have,” You stress, one hand finding the hilt of the dagger on your waist for some sort of comfort. You’re wildly uncomfortable and can feel the urge to run, get away, flee building up in your gut. If you’re not careful, it’ll spill out your mouth and you’ll be forced out of the tavern for the night in humiliation and self-preservation. “It has been one hell of a day today. I do not want to be alone.” Your sentence cuts off briskly and Fjord looks up in surprise. Your face mirrors his - untamed surprise. You had really opened your mouth to ask if he wanted to find a table and listen to your vent but what came out was I do not want to be alone. You blink and think what the fuck? Before Fjord is shaking off his surprise and standing.

“I suppose I can give Molly the room for the night.” He extends an arm towards you but doesn’t look at you. He’s doing a much better job of hiding how strange you’re acting than you are but still, you’re not going to let this opportunity pass. You wrap your own arm around Fjord’s and he begins to lead you toward the stairs. “Anything specific bothering you?”

“Nothing really,” You hum as you respond, hoping that by allowing him past your walls that it will help him, “Today is just a bad day.” Fjord halfheartedly agrees and your nerves shoot through the roof when he leaves you at your door, explaining that he’s going to warn Molly that he won’t be in the room tonight. You nod at him and slip into your own room, leaving the door cracked so that he won’t feel awkward about entering. Your laundry is everywhere and you grit your teeth, doing your best to hold back a scream. God damnit, you’re about to have the man that you have a crush on in your room and today is the day you threw your laundry all over?

It doesn’t even matter that he’s traveled with you in carts where there is no possible way to not overlap on laundry slash unmentionables. You still dash about, shoving your laundry into a pile in the corner and covering it with your weapons and shield just before Fjord raps his knuckles against the door frame, calling your name. You shiver and invite him in, wringing your hands as you stand in front of the unlit fireplace. “Are you okay?” He’s so earnest and it makes you feel… A little bad. You don’t want to say no to having Fjord be with you overnight because his presence is so calming, but it’s also… He’s not in your room because…

Ugh. “Fjord,” You say before you can stop yourself, “Okay, so, you can’t be mad but I noticed when things go wrong you’re really, really hard on yourself and you shouldn’t be. And I also noticed that when you’re hard on yourself you dive into taking care of other people because, I don’t know, maybe it feels like you’re doing something good? I’m not sure, but I really meant to ask if you wanted to talk but then that came out instead but I can’t let you stay in here if you don’t know why I asked.” He stands there, taking in what you’ve said, and then shakes his head. Your room is dark - too dark for you to see whether or not the small smile on his face is actually there or if you’re imagining it. When he chuckles, you’re more apt to believe that Fjord is actually smiling even after the day he’s had. “Um,” You finally cut the silence, “Please say something.”

“You mean to tell me,” He drawls, stepping slowly closer and removing his chest plate. It’s like his mood has gone a full 180 from where it was when he left you outside of your room, “That you looked so awkward and like a li’l kicked puppy because you wanted to help me feel better?” He sets his chest plate on the table, coming into your sight as your vision begins to adjust. You don’t get a good look at what’s happening on his face because you look away very quickly, setting your jaw.

“Well, when you put it that way,” You grumble and cross your arms, “You just like to help people - it makes you feel better.”

Fjord comes to a stop in front of you and sighs, but doesn’t say anything. Your hands begin to shake and honestly, you regret your stupid fucking decision to try and help Fjord out. You wouldn’t be here, standing in front of him and purely humiliated, if you didn’t look at him and notice so much. He finally responds, one of his hands coming up to touch at your bicep and then trails up until he’s cupping your shoulder. “I do like to help people,” He’s speaking more from his chest than his mouth, and you can almost feel the rumble through the grip he has on your shoulder. It’s not tight but it’s there, heavy and comforting. “I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

“I notice a lot,” You supply, tugging your chin away when Fjord tries to use the other hand to make you look at him. It’s only after he says your name in a soft voice that you look. You’re surprised to see that he looks soft… Soft and fond. “Please,” You whisper, uncrossing your arms to grab both of his wrists. You’re not even sure what you’re asking for but the way that you whispered please is the closest to begging that you’ve ever gotten.

“Please?” Fjord says, sounding incredibly confused but soft at the same time. You shake your head, trying again to look away from him. He ducks down, catching your eyes again, “It’s just me, remember? This is why you asked me here, isn’t it? To help you feel better?”

To your horror, you feel yourself mist up. “I invited you here so you could feel better, Fjord. I don’t want you to be so hard on yourself, and the only time I’ve seen you calm down after a bad day is when you’re taking care of one of us. I thought… Even if I don’t really need to be taken care of, that would help you. I just want… I want you to feel better.” He steps closer toward you, caging you into the rough stone of the fireplace but doesn’t speak. You’re almost worried that Fjord is going to cold clock you, but then he does something that you expected even less.

He surges forward and kisses you. Every part of him nearly engulfs you - the hand on your shoulder moves to the back of your neck, anchoring you to him, while he groans deep in the back of his throat. Your hands scramble for some purchase to express your surprise, landing on his hearty shoulders, clenching in the fabric of his shirt. You sigh into Fjord’s groan, and press as close as possible to his body heat. No matter how much you don’t want to admit it, you’ve been craving this: closeness with another person, pressing tight against their body… You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that when you thought of that, of intimacy, that you pictured Fjord. You just didn’t think he pictured you.

Fjord surges forward again, and you feel the soft scrape of tusks against you when he opens his mouth to breathe, keeping his nose pressed tightly to yours. “I didn’t think,” He says, accent thinner than you’ve heard previously, “I never dreamed that you would feel…”

“Oh, I feel,” You tell him, slowly moving your hands until you can intertwine your fingers behind his neck, “I feel so much, Fjord.”

“You never said…” He sneaks another kiss between his words, dropping his hands to squeeze at your waist, “You never even let on that you see me this way.”

“I do a lot of looking and not a lot of showing,” You remind him - it was something he had said to you when you first joined his group. I always catch you lookin’, but you never show. It’s terribly funny because he’d said it while the Mighty Nein were all naked, sudsy, and sharing a bathhouse at Molly’s insistence. The group had a field day with that and still does. The memory is apparently still fresh in Fjord’s head because a blush creeps high over his cheeks and he looks away, flustered. “You’re strong and pretty and beautiful and you take care of us so well. Even when you’ve had a bad day. I look up to you so much, but at the same time I want, perhaps selfishly, to take care of you in ways that you might not take care of the group.” He almost looks surprised at what you’ve said, but then it melts into a look of soft adoration. Fjord kisses you again and then drags his lips lightly over the arch of your cheek before he rests his head on your shoulder where he inhales deeply, his breath tickling your throat. You can feel his hands contracting against your waist, like he wants to touch and feel but is settling for keeping them where they are and feeling the soft give of your flesh. You know your heart is spinning at what feels like a million miles per hour, and you know that he can probably hear it, too. You can’t find anything in you that cares, though, because you’re so close to Fjord. He smells like saltwater, you realize. Not in a way that it seems like he’s been coughing it up again, or in the ocean, but just sort of… Naturally. Like he’s always smelled that way. Like you’ve always known he smelled that way. Like you were always meant to know and to find comfort in it. You pull yourself closer, relishing in the way that you hold each other, and Fjord sighs. You can feel the way that he relaxes underneath your hold and you relax, too.

This… This is the way that it’s supposed to be. This is how you can do for Fjord what he’s done for your team - except different. Except more.

[starryseung]

𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔!

you are my heaven on earth

awh

awwwhhh

kim seungmin is the sweetest boyfriend!

he’s always looking after you, looks forward to taking you out on dates and trips whenever he can

seungmin loves seeing you happy! he tries his best to win gifts for you at the annual spring carnival, tries to bring you your favourite flowers whenever he can, watching your favourite movies together, and overall just loves caring for you

he’s spent so many sweet memories with you

but he has a few favourite ones that are constantly playing in his head like a broken record

he’ll be lounging in the studio and changbin or felix will have to call him out when he’s just dazing off, a small smile on his lips

“seungmin, you’re daydreaming again...”

“h—huh? no i’m not” >:(

and he proceeds to sit with a small pout on his face, kinda still thinking about you

when at the dorms, he talks to you everyday after his schedule is over, sometimes a video call if you two miss each other more than usual

it’s basically just two groggy and sleepy voices talking about their day, but it couldn’t get any better than that

when seungmin starts humming in response to your chattering, you know he’s about to sleep, so you just tell him to stay on the line for a lil longer, telling him how much you love him and appreciate his hard work, and that he’s doing such a good job!

and when you finally hear little snores through the call, you smile warmly, muttering a small ‘good night, minnie’ before hanging up usually you stay on the line a little longer, because even his snores are beautiful

𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕?

you first met seungmin at the bakery café you worked at!

minho found a new café on the other side of town, so him, seungmin and hyunjin were headed there

and when they reached, seungmin thought you were the cutest! person!! alive!!! when he saw you in the apron and jacket you were wearing!

your hair was down, the small name tag reading your name in big bold (which he kept repeating in his head a hundred times so he didn’t forget)

poor baby couldn’t stop smiling whenever your eyes met, and just couldn’t stop thinking about you even after he reached the dorms

it was the ‘living in his head rent free’ coming to life, and seungmin wouldn’t say he hated it👀

anyway, suddenly he loves coming to your bakery café! he visits you so many times, you know his order by-heart, sometimes drawing little cream hearts on the top of his coffee (because you have perfectly functioning eyes to find seungmin an absolute angel)

slowly, you two start learning more about each other, and since you've realized that he loves day6,

you change the cafe playlist with day6 songs on they day he comes! people seem to enjoy it too, so it's technically a win-win

seungmin's heart flutters when he sees you do the little things for him, and always tries returns twice the favours!

𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑

oh oh!!

when he’s a lil sulky after practice or something

he’ll call you over at his place and you know it’s gonna be a long night from his tone so you order some food too

and at home he's just sprawled out on the bed with a slice of pizza in his hand and head in your lap

while you're listening to whatever he's blabbering to take off the weight from his heart, slowly running your fingers through his soft hair

when he's done with his talk, you'll get back to watch a movie

to make him feel better, you'll move into his lap!! and his hands!!! will automatically wrap around your waist!!!!

seungmin might be the kind to gag looking at two people hugging

but himself, he absolutely loves snuggling you/being snuggled by you

he just hates pda, so when no one's watching him he's all smothered on you

then when his stupid lovesick heart tell him to kiss your shoulder while you're watching tv

he just goes for it

until he's pecking you a little too much lmfao

he just can't keep his hands off you okay >:(

he loves cuddling your lil frame

and loves your hands in his hair

absolutely head over heels when you're wearing his hoodies

there's fireworks in his stomach when he sees you wearing his clothing, the way you're literally drowning in the material

pats your head when you're cooking, turned away from him

then wraps his hand around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder

turning to kiss your neck softly

awwh and when you turn your head to kiss him

he'll smile softly and giggle into the kiss

before you burn your finger and he laughs before telling you to "focus on cooking"

𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔

hanging out at aesthetic places so seungmin can click pictures of you: check ✔✔

you two frequently go to the ice cream shop downtown at night

each time ends up with seungmin fussing about how mint-chocolate isn’t toothpaste, while you’re teasing him about it

since seungmin’s doesn’t have a schedule as clear as yours, so you two usually spend time at his house, just lounging around and eating and binge watching movies

now

seungmin has a whole folder in his phone and camera filled with your pictures

he loves swiping through them and getting reminded of the particular time he spent with you

it’s always stuck at the back of his head uwu and he catches himself smiling like a goofball anytime anywhere

also he's probably the best person to take shopping with because he has a proper idea about what you're gonna look like in what kind of clothes

but doesn't pick too revealing clothes because you're no one's except his >:(

(𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕) 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆…

okay *inhale*

seungmin might seem like the softest, most calm and composed person

keyword : seem

because he definitely knows his shit in the bedroom

seungmin also isn't the kind to show that he’s particularly needy

he’ll just make you want him

never subs.

seungmin doesn’t like submitting, which is also partly why he doesn’t show how much he’s craving you

knows how to put you in your place. he likes experimenting, of course, but doesn’t want you to get ahead of yourself; he likes having the upper hand

usually starts off with you in his laps during the regular movie sessions, but instead of actually watching the movie, you two are just all over each other, his hands roaming along your body while you’re tugging on his hair as he nips at your skin on your neck, tugging it between his teeth

loves when you’re vocal, he likes knowing the effect he has on you

seungmin himself can’t control the bulge growing in his pants as you grind your ass down on him, guttural groans leaving his lips as you whimper in his mouth

likes taking things slow or fast depending on his mood

if he’s all cuddly and soft and sweet, he’ll take things slow with you, admiring each part of you, kissing down your neck and your stomach

squeezing your thighs and waist so you’re feeling at ease

giggles softly when you squirm in his hold when he’s licking and biting the soft flesh of your thighs

seungmin will really take his time with you, his fingers gently squeezing and toying with your nipples while working his lips against your folds

readying you for what’s coming, spreading you out with his fingers and licking you, thumb poking your clit

but when he’s frustrated, you’re his only release

he won’t think for a second before venting out his anger on you

teases you with his fingers and mouth before actually fucking you

you’re not given a second to breathe, so once his fingers leave you, his lips are on you, sucking harshly on your folds before thrusting his tongue in you, licking against your sensitive walls

seungmin also perhaps loves choking (something he discovered, thanks to you)

he’s fucking you relentlessly, while his fingers are wrapped around your throat, squeezing and loosening until your eyes are rolled to the back of your head

but n o

so he’s supposedly a clean freak, right

likes being neat and tidied up, therefore needless to say that’s what you’d expect from him in bed

you are : wrong

he loves watching you break under him, whether it’s from his cock in your mouth or in your cunt

loves the feeling of you clenching around him, and it probably has him cumming harder than ever

comes on your stomach and thighs, but when he’s in the mood, he’ll stuff you full of himself, pulling out to smirk at the way both your juices drip down your hole

extra cocky!seungmin will push it back in with his fingers, telling you to keep it in there for as long as he tells you to

either way, you absolutely love it

because seungmin knows his limits, checking up on you a couple times in the middle if you still wanna go further

at the end of the day:

seungmin best boy!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

I'm sorry I promise this is my last request for tonight but I am SOBBING laughing over the Etho Jester round, I don't even have a coherent story idea for this just more Etho Jester content please if you can spare it I can't BREATHE DHHFJDKS

god tht was the funniest round i've seen in such a long time, i hope i did that justice here lmfao

...

At the start of the round, Etho wanders around aimlessly outside the dropship for a while, before heading down to the left to see if he can find anyone. What he discovers is a body just inside the room underneath O2, but instead of reporting it, he just giggles and dances around the room, looking forward to having a little fun.

When Impulse shows up and gasps, Etho finally reports the body, still giggling like a child as the meeting starts and shows that Evil and Astro are both dead. “Okay, so I just saw Impulse kill Evil,” Etho says through his giggles.

“Oh, please!” laughs Impulse. “You know it wasn’t me. I just came up on the body and you were dancing around it like a madman.”

“I definitely saw Impulse kill Evil. He was like “Etho come over here so I can kill you” and I was like “no way, you’re the imposter!” and he was like “nobody will ever find your body” and I was like “you killed Evil, you monster!” and he was like-”

“Okay, so I think we’ve established that Etho is the jester,” Tango states, chuckling in confusion. “Right?”

“No no, I’m just a crewmate,” says Etho. “Don’t let Impulse get away with this or he’ll come kill me next!”

Impulse lets out a laugh. “Dude, I almost wish I COULD kill you. You’re being so weird.”

“If I’m being weird, it’s cuz I just watched you kill Endless- I mean Evil right in front of me.”

“Oh my god…”

“Okay, do NOT vote for Etho,” Tango says firmly, unable to stop grinning at his friend’s antics. “He’s 100% the jester and there’s no way I’m gonna hand him this win when he’s being like this.”

The meeting ends with nobody being voted off. Everyone leaves the room one by one, including Etho, who wordlessly follows Tango down to decontamination.

“What are you doing?” Tango asks warily.

“Just following my bestie cuz I know you’re innocent.”

Tango frowns. “Uh… okay…? Thanks…?”

Etho follows him all the way into the specimen room and hovers at an uncomfortable distance away from Tango, watching him silently as he does his task.

“Okay, Etho, you’re creeping me out, buddy,” Tango says slowly. “Can you back up a few steps and chill the hell out?”

“I can’t chill out; there’s no freezer on this map and I can’t get to the snow outside.”

“I…” Tango tries to find a reply to this but can’t. “Okay.”

Once he’s finished his two tasks in specimen, he heads back towards the office, followed again by Etho. The two go through decontamination and Tango heads down to the left, while Etho peels off into the meeting room and hits the button, bringing everyone to the meeting table. He finds himself looking at seven irritated faces.

“For the love of God, Etho, this better be good,” Tango says irritably.

Etho beams. “Hey, everybody! I missed you guys. Also, I saw Astro vent.”

A pause.

“Astro is dead, homie,” Skizz states. “Did you mean Joker, or…?”

“What?” Joker yelps. “Why me?”

“Cuz you’re both green. I dunno, I thought he might’ve just confused you two.”

“Nope, I definitely saw Astro vent,” says Etho happily. “And Tango definitely killed Evil last round.”

A pause.

“You- Didn’t you say it was Impulse who…?” Skizz blinks several times, his confused gaze darting from Etho to the others and back again. “I’m so confused!”

Tango bursts out laughing. “Etho, I have no idea what this is, but I both love it and hate it at the same time. I almost hope you’re NOT jester, cuz this is hilarious.”

“I’m a crewmate,” insists Etho.

“Uh huh, sure.”

At the end of the meeting, Skizz goes into the office to do the card swipe and finds Etho waiting for him. “You’re the jester, right?” Skizz asks warily. “Please tell me you’re the jester.”

Etho teasingly pokes Skizz in the arm. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Skizz stares at him. “Boy, I really hope you are the jester cuz otherwise, you’ve totally lost your mind. Either that or you’re overplaying jester and you’re actually imposter.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?” says Etho mischievously.

“Okay, I’m actually really nervous right now, cuz you’re definitely big-brain enough to fake being jester,” Skizz says nervously. “Please don’t kill me.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill you right here in broad daylight. Too risky.” He takes a step to the side and beckons. “Come down here so nobody will find your body.”

“Noooooo!” Skizz takes off running.

Giggling, Etho chases Skizz out of the room and up towards the laboratory, the latter screaming the whole way. They bump into Impulse just inside the corridor.

“Whoa, what’s going on?!” yelps Impulse.

Skizz hides behind Impulse. “Etho is being weird!”

“Impuuuuulse, go away!” whines Etho. “I’m tryina kill Skizzle.”

Impulse blinks. “Wh-What?”

Etho gives an innocent smile. “Stabby stabby!”

At that exact moment, a body is reported, and the three appear at the meeting table with everyone else.

“I saw Impulse kill Skizz right in front of me,” says Etho solemnly, before the person who reported the body can talk. “Impulse just walked in the door to O2 and murdered Skizz right in front of me.”

“Bro, I’m alive,” Skizz responds. “I’m not dead.”

“And we weren’t in O2, we were in lab,” Impulse adds.

“Oh.” Etho pauses. “Then I killed Skizz. In lab. Sorry, I got confused.”

Skizz stares at him with wide eyes. “I’m ALIVE, dude!” “Everyone else shut up,” snaps Brody suddenly. “Tango, you reported?”

Tango nods. “Yes, I found Endless’s body down in weapons.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I killed Endless in weapons,” Etho says happily.

Tango scowls at him. “Etho, I swear to God-.”

“Can’t we just vote him off and be done with this weirdness?” Skizz demands.

“No, I refuse to give the world’s most obvious jester the win,” responds Tango. “Imposters, whoever you are, if you kill Etho in front of me, I genuinely will not report.”

Etho pouts at him. “That’s very mean, Tango. I’m gonna tell the teacher on you.”

“I-.” Tango breaks off, unable to think of a response to this.

“Okay, does anyone have any actual information?” asks Brody. “If not, we’re on seven so we should skip.”

Nobody has any information, so the meeting again ends with nobody being voted off.

This time, Etho follows Brody out of the building and up towards electrical. Spotting this, Brody sighs and beckons Etho into security. “Okay, you’re the jester, right?”

“I might be the imposter,” says Etho with a grin. “Or I might not be.”

“I KNOW you’re not the imposter. Sorry, buddy, but you won’t be getting this win. You never were.”

With that, Brody whips out a knife and stabs Etho in the chest.

Etho drops to the ground without a word, watching Brody leave the scene of the crime, before letting his eyes close. It doesn’t matter that he’s not going to get this win. He had fun letting loose and being a little silly for once.

And that’s all that matters to him.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Among Us: Mansion Edition

Aight because I’m feeling stupid--I’m talking absolutely Willy Wonka--in this Chili’s tonight, I think it’s time I inundated you all in random crack ass Among Us Headcanons for the mansion. In no particular order: 

-Y’all see this post? This right here is Leo and MC. Don’t even @ me. He’s such a bastard and she glares at him the whole time while he just fucking dies laughing in their room. When Theo finds out? He howls with laughter too, later high fives Leo

-Dazai, Sebas, and Comte are the MOST sus players on earth. Like these mofos will handle accusations so calmly and dismantle them so quickly nobody fucking knows what they're actually doing??? The others always skip until there’s hard evidence, but because of that they will often survive by the time the tasks are done 

-Every single time Arthur has even the slightest bit of suspicion directed at him for being the imposter, everyone just immediately votes him off. Half the time he isn’t the imposter, and every single time people can hear Theo cackling from wherever he is

-One of the easiest ways to narrow down Theo as the imposter is to see how long Vincent survives HAHAHA (Vincent takes 13 yrs to do tasks)

-Since Vincent struggles with tasks a lot, Theo will often do buddy system (MC will often tag along too--but Theo will just straight up kill her when he’s imposter and tell Vincent she’s busy with another task LMFAO Vincent always scolds him after)

-Isaac hates being imposter. With every. Fiber. Of. His being. HE HATES IT!!! He vents, they see him immediately, they boot him. FML. Also gives himself away because he will usually kill Dazai and Arthur first, and stutters like a maniac trying to defend himself--has no good alibi in a pinch LMAO

-Isaac groans every single time he gets a task in the electrical room. His palms start sweating because he just knows someone is going to sneak in and snap his neck while frantically trying to connect wires. Arthur most often kills him that way just because he finds it hilarious to hear Isaac curse

-Leo, Arthur, and Shakespeare are the ones most known to sabotage while they’re imposters. Leo just loves being a headache of a person, Arthur finds it most efficient to murder in the course of the chaos (after there’s a kind of false sense of security, he picks them off), while Shakes just love watching everyone scatter desperately like mice.

-Shakespeare is 100% that imposter that like stays beside Vincent the whole time while he’s doing tasks, playing buddy system, and then the second the game is about to end just straight up murders him in cold blood out of nowhere

-Comte will almost always enact petty revenge if someone kills MC early in the game--or at all. Catch this mofo finishing his tasks lightening speed and sitting at the security monitors, slamming the emergency button the second he’s deduced who the culprit is. He’s usually the fastest to figure it out; how quickly he responds is another matter lol

-Jeanne gets caught in milliseconds because he won’t even care about the mechanics of the game, and finds sneaking boring/stupid/too much effort (also just bad with technology, it takes him forever to learn the controls). Will at least attempt to kill in isolation, but otherwise doesn’t much care about being stealthy--and so is often caught fast (always kills Comte first much to the man’s dismay)

-Mozart is...surprisingly good at the game? Not quite as skilled as the trio mentioned earlier, but he’s very good at coming up with air-tight alibis and employs a slow, methodical approach. Will have 5 or 6 of them dead before anyone suspects it’s him, kills randomized targets, and will frequent the security room while people are trying to figure out who it is. Will do buddy system with Jeanne, and will usually find the imposter to avenge his good friendo--otherwise just does tasks and chills if he ain’t imposter

-Leo just plays to have fun! He’s good at it but doesn’t really go hard enough to evade suspicion for very long if he’s imposter, mostly kills people he thinks will be most frustrated with being killed/least suspecting. People are usually yelling at him to complete his tasks bc he often zones out when he becomes a ghost LMFAO

-Leo and Comte sometimes do the buddy system, but honestly? They just devolve into murdering each other so fucking fast it’s pointless AHHAHAHAHHAHAH they’re just constantly squinting at each other; they don’t trust the other as far he can throw him (Idk if y’all have seen any of Vanoss’ streams on yt but I just keep seeing that clip of him in MedBay getting scanned and going “nogla you gonna kill me? just fucking kill me you fucking french bastard” when nogla lingers a little next to him and I start wheezing because all I see is literally Leo and Comte)

-Napoleon rarely gets imposter, so he’s usually spearheading the crewmate effort. Gets his tasks done very quickly (if he doesn’t get murdered; though he often has Isaac for buddy system) and camps outside the security room after making a few rounds. Usually figures out who it is fairly quickly--though his accuracy is spotty

-If Napoleon is imposter he tends to have a hard time killing people, so he’ll literally just pretend to do tasks and vibe until the time runs out. It’s the inactivity and aimlessness that tends to give him away

-MC tries to be stealthy, but she usually times her kills poorly or gets walked in on. Sometimes she manages to conceal the body or her boo looks the other way to let her indulge in the fun, but otherwise she gets found as imposter fast

-There are a few legendary rounds where MC manages to fool most of the house into thinking she’s a crewmate because they’re so busy pointing fingers at each other she just skates by easy, but she always feels horrible after for betraying their trust (the men all silently agree it was uproarious)

-Vincent as imposter is fucking hilarious because he’ll just turn himself in???? Like he won’t even try. Everyone will tell him it’s okay if he gets a little stabby--it’s part of the game--but he just has no heart for it. Theo will often switch devices with him to relieve him of the stress. These rounds are always so chaotic because it usually takes the residents a second to deduce the switcheroo

-You know how I said Shakespeare plays buddy and then kills Vincent in cold blood? The hilarious inversion of this is that Dazai will often try to follow Isaac to protect him but Isaac will run away, so they will often be chasing each other all over the map LMFAOOOO Dazai will do this regardless of whether he is imposter or not, so there’s really no way to tell if he’s just messing with Isaac or has a lurking killer intent

-If Theo is imposter? Pandemonium. He will kill people off one by one in isolation and vent so fast nobody can figure out who did what, always paying close attention to the tasks that need doing so he has a solid alibi. Because Vincent tends to believe him and verifies easily, it can take a little longer for people to figure out it’s Theodorus. Arthur and Dazai tend to be the ones that are the first to suspect it’s him

-Sebastian will often be doing his tasks, just chillin. One can usually see him buddy system with Napo and/or MC. He loves to watch the other men be imposter and notes down their go-to tactics and reactions to killing and being killed in the game; especially if it’s uncharacteristic of them. All well and good right? 

-Sebastian as imposter? The funniest shit in the world. He’s similar to Isaac in that he hates it, mutters apologies and grimaces every time he has to kill people (note: he does not include Arthur and Dazai among people, sometimes smiles a little if he takes them out;;;;). Will lie convincingly only because his voice/writing does not waver--his stoicism serves him well. When he has to kill Napoleon, though? Forget it. He apologizes a million times after, but honestly Napo just finds it hilarious--will just be like “well-played, Sebas, as expected of our resourceful butler.” Sebas still. Feels guilty. Like you can literally look at the chat history and see Napo as ghost like “AAHAHAHHA oh he killed my ass, nice” while MC’s like “lolol” and Jeanne like “he got me good too, never saw him coming in nav”

-Person who gets killed the least? Vincent (I mean come on, it’s Vincent.) MC is runner-up. They don’t like killing her, but there are a lot of idiots in the mansion that do it just to get a rise out of her (cough Leonardo/Dazai) or just because she’s an easy target in the moment

-Person who gets killed the most? Usually Arthur, runner-up Isaac (Arthur because everyone seeks to get back at him for his shenanigans irl, Isaac because he tends to get indecisive/nervous)

-Also this happens to Dazai once as imposter (Isaac plans it out of sheer spite) and the entire mansion was wheezing about it for weeks

In-game Colors: 

Comte: yellow/white/black (when he’s feeling emo) + little baby accompaniment or party hat  Napoleon: black or green, cyan when he’s feeling chaotic + sergeant/army hat Leonardo: brown + toilet paper roll Vincent: yellow + green sprout Theo: dark blue or red (feral energy) + cowboy hat or gladiator helmet Isaac: pink + cherry Arthur: dark blue or lime + backwards cap Dazai: purple or yellow + toilet plunger or bird’s nest Jeanne: always purple + “DUM” sticky note Mozart: cyan + surgical mask Shakes: red or orange + flamingo hat Sebas: always black + either the ninja mask or the chef hat

[kazuwhora]

hi! hope you’re having a wonderful day! maybe i please request a sfw tokyo rev matchup? <3

personality info: my name is winter. a raging bisexual. i’m a female INTJ 5w6. i’m also taurus sun, libra rising and capricorn moon. i’m not exactly a very open person to strangers but if i know you and trust you i tend to be more talkative, sarcastic and hyper. i tend to say a lot of dark jokes because why not?- i’m unfortunately super clumsy. if i don’t know someone very well i tend to come of as cold and rude. for me, one of my biggest goal in life is to see all the people i love and care for are happy. my love language is definitely gift giving. because i’m not very good at communicating (saying i love you and those stuff 🗿) and handling and identifying emotions, i tend to give gifts.

appearance: i’m a slim 5’3” female. i have short black hair (wolf cut), which i tend to dye a lot (rip my hair💀). i have naturally long eyelashes and a beauty spot right underneath my left eye. i also have a beauty spot on my upper lip and back of my neck. i have small hands (which people call baby hands 🥲) which are somehow always warm lmao.

hobbies, likes, etc: my hobbies include drawing and painting, dancing, playing video games and programming. i love listening to music (mainly k-pop and rock) and watching anime, also reading manga. i enjoy horror and thriller movies. animals have a special place in my heart. and ofc i love sleeping 😩

partner?: tbh I would want someone who is honest, loyal and overall funny (how original 😐). they would need to know and understand when i need time to be alone and when i need to be comforted. also they need to be the talkative one cause i ain’t opening my mouth 👁👄👁

i hope that is enough lmfao. also i love your writing, keep it up <3

tysm for your kind words and thank you for sending a request! I appreciate your support so much <3 also hi taurus twin!

I'm matching you up with ran!

ok so stay with me on this one ok? I know that fanon ran has this massive stigma about being a playboy, noncommittal, cheater, etc etc. but I was given this platform to tell everyone that UR ALL WRONG. ran haitani is a massive himbo, that's all. he's an airhead. and he's cute. and he knows it. as much as people will argue, ran at his roots is not one to jump from person to person. the only proof of this we need to look at his his independence and dedication to running things with his brother and his brother only. sure, it's his brother, but someone with a natural inclination to explore options and bounce from person to person without any loyalty would not run shit this way. so, I'm here to tell you that ran is loyal af. the only problem is like I said, he's a himbo. he might not catch on to things that might bother you right away so you'll have to make sure to establish clear and easy to understand/interpret boundaries right off the bat. if this happens? you're golden, ran is yours and only yours baby.

as an airheaded himbo, ran will laugh at anything you say that he's pretty sure was a joke. he might get used to your dark humour a little too much so if he laughs at something serious you said that wasn't a joke pls don't get mad at him.

ran is pretty universal with love language I think. he's not really a man of complex words so to speak, and he's not quite as eloquently spoken as his brother, but he has no problem conveying himself with words and has no problem showering you with praise and validation. part of him knows this is something you might need, even if he's not consciously aware of that. the nice thing about dating himbo ran, is that you don't have to worry about your own words with him. he knows you love him, and he doesn't need or demand anything else. he's happy with quality time or acts of service, but gift giving might make him blush. point it out and watch him blush even more.

ran himself doesn't have that many interests besides hitting people in the head with bricks or metal rods. but out of all your interests, he doesn't mind sitting down and watching horror movies and thrillers with you. he will talk through it all though so don't hesitate to tell him to stfu. he'll listen.

when it comes to being comforting, ran is honestly kind of hard to understand here. like, he's comforting in such an odd way?? he'll give the BEST hugs but he doesn't have much to say when you vent. idk if it's because the words are just going out the other ear, or if he just genuinely doesn't have a response that he thinks is worthy. either way, he makes up for his lack of words here with hugs and acts of service. instead of trying to help you find solutions to a problem you had just vented about, he'll order a fuck ton of food from your favourite restaurant and have it delivered so you can hang out and forget about it for a minute. he's so cute. please treasure him and tell him he's worthy <3