#look I genuinely don't care if the spider thing is true or not

[cookinguptales]

[source]

no one told me the end of 2023 would be so fucking funny

[tarotwithdanise]

HOW YOU GONNA WIN THEIR HEART?

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

send your donations here

PILE ONE

you're gonna win this person's heart by bringing your authentic self. you need to stay true about yourself, you don't need to change and let yourself show what you can serve on this person's table. honor yourself, feel yourself. show to this person that you intend to win their heart by letting your body sync with your thoughts and your deeds. let this selfless nature attract this person perhaps there are things that we tend to don't like about our personalities but then we can improve our characteristics right? and it sounds miserable when you are trying to be someone else you're actually not. this is someone that may not prefer playing mind games so they prefer someone who has a genuine intention and interest to them.

extra messages: jacket, yellow car, headphones, blue, 333, spiderman, asian, hair clamp, angel with a shotgun by the cab, 14, 02 , L and S,

PILE TWO

this person likes someone who has great humor. they want someone who can make them laugh in a way that they may be able to forget on how to breathe or the thing that their stomach hurts because of too much laughing. It's not that they don't like serious people but they have this motto "to live a life, you need to have fun and laugh". they prefer a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't bore them and a lot of fun and crazy things to do. they may want people to be perceive with their partner as nuts couple.

extra messages: a laugh that is like an old engine, 3 piercings, pearls, crazy, stupid, love (movie), this heart emoji "❣️" , 28, black crossbody bag, rainy days, bus station, pisces, taurus, aries, M, O, Y, T, and J.

PILE THREE,

make them feel heard and important. this person is not honestly looking for any good looking faces but they just genuinely wanted to feel like they belong. shows empathy and give validation about what they feel, they just want someone who is there for their long rants and actively listen in life that it can give upon them. it maybe because this person grew up in a household where their opinions and feelings are not valid. they are also someone who wanted to be seen.

extra messages: a box, hotdog, black dress, a park, a dump/secret account, 91919, G, I, U, C and D.

PILE FOUR

what a very mysterious energy from this person, they don't usually don't care about if someone else is trying to ruin them in terms of relationships. they are not looking for that a long time ago perhaps they may have this cold heart. otherwise, this person may come off as famous or kinda popular as i guess and they may prefer someone who doesn't care at them at all. also i get here that they may want someone who respect them as individual and as a partner, they maybe a serious person.

extra messages: infinity necklace, spiders, birds, a star, an anchor, a beach, a cute laugh, asia, france, 777, M, I, K, R, E and W.

[from-izzy]

[01:34] | nct na jaemin

Your ceiling fell.

pairing » nct na jaemin x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything!)​

trope/au » ​established relationship au!, non-idol au!

genre » boyfriend na jaemin who picks you up even though he's tired, summer is annoying to the reader (sorry, i'm really hating summer rn), fluffy fluff with a tinge of angst, clothes stealer reader!, but you never end up using it because you got too tired and fell asleep, i love na jaemin (can you tell?), reader is the little spoon, jaemin is so caring and cute (i'm in love with him), jaemin brushing his hand through your hair

word count, estimated reading time » 2496, ~9 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » jaemin is taller, outside clothes on the bed (i don't do this but it's cute here 😭 forgive me), oh...it's not proofread 😭

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

recently went back to my wips and found bits and pieces that could work together and meshed them together as best as i can 🤣 just whipped up this little thing whilst i was at it hehe

also, not going to be specific but will you believe if i said that this is based on a (my) true story? 🤠 it's been...messy 🤠 to say the least.

thank you for proofreading (when you're supposed to be focusing on school) @cupidjyu !! 💕

Your ceiling fell.

Well...

To be exact, there isn't a hole that lets the spiders and birds able to look down and see the base of your kitchen sink but when the inside surface of the roof fell, so did the insulator that kept the house warm during the frosty winter, and cool in the scorching summer. Because of the unstable roof condition, your whole family was wary of putting the air conditioning system on. The vibration from the machine and the sound waves themselves may be the little push it needs to send other parts of the roof crumbling.

You hate the hot weather so much.

In this period of the summer, when opening the windows was barely an option as it also let the heat through, it has been hard even to do anything remotely productive. With every move of your body, it generates heat and energy, which when mixed with the thirty-five-degree heat, all you want to do is lay on your bed and let the sweat evaporate off your skin with the help of your tower fan. That's how the mornings would go. Sometimes when you're not too tired from the previous day's work, you would go and take shelter in the library, turning confused heads when you would be wearing a jacket as overtime, it became too cold. 

The worst thing is that there has been no word from the insurance company or the people who could help to fix the hole in your ceiling. Unfortunately, it did fall during the peak holiday season but at this point, when it’s no longer the festive season, no one in your family understands what’s going on with the back-and-forth messy conversations to fix the issue. 

The past three months have been full of frustrating calls to your boyfriend but Jaemin has been picking up your phone call at the second time his ringtone rings, greeting you with that emphasising smile of his as he sees the layer of moisture on your face. At first, you tried to give him the best smile you could, but you eventually broke down after the first month, completely done with changing your clothes every day in every hour. Jaemin, though busy with his own responsibilities, never fails to take you out whenever he can, accompanying you in your aimless night time walks or accompanying you to the library where he would start reading a random book while you snooze on his shoulder. 

Today is one of the nights where you can’t handle sleeping in the house, too hot and uncomfortable for your eyes to even think about closing. You guiltily text Jaemin, asking if he’s able to have you over and within a few minutes, the black-haired arrives at your house, air conditioner blasting in his car and a genuine smile greeting you as soon as you step in. He waits outside his car with his oversized shirt and short pants; his usual summer attire. He kisses your frown away as soon as you rush into his arms, dropping your bag of clothes to the floor. His affectionate gaze for you grows, cupping your cheeks in his hands to hush you from the apologies that you would say for going out so late at night even though you insisted that the five-minute walk was fine to do.

“No,” Jaemin juts his lower lip to you adorably. “Not letting you do that!” He presses another quick peck on your lips that makes your cheeks heat up and makes you a stuttering mess. “I’m hungry! Let’s go grab some food first!”

You let out a knowing chuckle, shaking your head at him fondly as you know that just means another movie night that will go on until five am. To Jaemin, this is the best kind of date: the one that is unplanned but is planned at the same time. With the way that you’re literally having the worst summer ever as well, all he wants to do is to make sure that at least when you look back on this summer, you will remember his air conditioner blasting in his room. Bonus, the later you sleep, the more time you’ll have in a cooled, comfortable and private environment. 

But you know deep down, that you will always remember his warm, kind heart first out of all. 

With hands full of takeout from the nearest fast food to his house, Jaemin talks you through his list of movies that he wants to check out before you both fall asleep. He was so excited that he nearly missed the step up to his room, almost waking up the whole house with how his body would tumble down the staircase otherwise. But oh how much he would if it meant that you wouldn’t be crying on the humid, summer night.

"It's perfect, Jaem." 

You comment when Jaemin asks you about the temperature of his room and he gives you a relieved look, smiling in satisfaction to know your thoughts. Jaemin starts to unload the snacks in his arm on his study table, prompting you to do the same. He turns his sleeping laptop on, waiting for his device to start up.

In the meantime, his attention falls on you once more. "You must've been overwhelmed." His arm spreads open, silently asking if you would accept his gesture.

All you gave was a quiet hum and it momentarily worries him before you step to bury your head into his broad chest. You sigh into his perfect body temperature that balances the coolness trapped in the four walls. The corners of Jaemin’s lips rise as he starts shifting his body side to side, giving the hug a little more dynamic and comfort as he starts to sing your favourite tune to your ears. His fingers rake across your hair, not minding the whines and complaints you gave about how your hair is disgusting and oily, even pressing a kiss to your scalp to ease your worries. 

Your arms start to find home around his waist and your palm grips the fabric of the shirt even more, feeling eternally thankful for having a loving person in your life. A mutter, “Thank you for all this.” Your voice trails off, eyelids heavy and honestly, quiet snores could leave your lips at any moment now. 

“Always, bubs,” he muses back. “Maybe we can skip the movie night today?” 

The suggestion pulls your lips into a sour smile but you can’t hide the drowsiness in your system after getting small hours of sleep for the past week. “We have food.” But truly, it’s nothing that food can’t fix.

A raised eyebrow meets you when you slightly pull back to see the reaction on Jaemin’s face. “Food and horror movies.”

The shared favourite genre makes you break out into a genuine smile, excited for the movie marathon cuddled up in his bedsheets and the smell of food as you both expose yourself to the light from the computer until the sun replaces the moon. Jaemin watches you excitedly walk back to the door of his room where your bag slumps over on the wall next to the frame. 

“You don’t want to wear mine?” The suggestion is said with a smirk from him and your hands stopping to unzip your bag halfway. “Guess not!”

“No! I do!” You drag the last syllable out and when you turn to face him once more, Jaemin only lets out a teasing smile. “Let me steal!”

Indeed, Jaemin already has everything prepared for you, tilting his chin to his bed where some of his and your favourite hoodies are spread across the duvet. You spot the emerald green one, immediately jumping from your kneeling position on the floor and making the neat pile topple over at your eagerness. 

Jaemin feigns fake offence and an exaggerated gasp, “All my hard work!” He weeps to which you just roll your eyes as a response, continuing to take out your shower and night necessities to prepare for the night. 

“Alright.” A heavy sigh follows after, “I’m going to sho—”

But before you could take another step towards the bathroom, a pair of arms pulls you backwards, your back colliding with a chest that you know all too well. You can’t see the expression on his face but another thing that you know about Jaemin is when he leans down to press his cheek on yours, humming once more into your embrace, his cheeks are painted with hues of red and pink—his love for you overflowing from the simple back hug gesture.

“What you doing, Nana?” It deepens his blush, melting with how the nickname naturally sounds lovelier coming from you.

“Just go brush your teeth and shower in the morning.��� He mumbles against your cheek. “I want to go on this movie marathon with you right now.”

“But you hate it the most when someone lays on your bed without washing up.” 

That’s also true. He does hate that a lot. 

The idea of outside germs reaching the place where he would be closing his eyes and be in another space for hours never fails to bring a scowl to his face and he always makes sure everyone who visits his space is aware of that fact.

But it’s you—and Jaemin loves you more to overlook that fact for a day.

“I’m planning on changing the sheets anyway.” He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, “Plus, I literally get grease and pieces of chocolate on there anyways so I think I may need to change my mindset about that rule now…”

The mention of the substances makes you gasp, a similar one to the one he directed at you before. “Na Jaemin!” The playful slap on his arm only makes his hold against your body tighter, sending you both into a fit of laughter.

Amid the chaos you created, Jaemin makes his point clear with the previous topic, throwing himself still clad in his dirty clothes onto his bed and taking you down with him. You yelp at the sudden fall, throwing everything out of your hands to muffle the sound of your mouth, aware of the sleeping couple not too far away from this room. 

“Oops! Gotta change it tomorrow, I guess!”

“Na Jaemin, stop! I’m still going to shower anyway!”

So begins the shoving and wiggling for you to escape his strong grip on his bulky arms. You know shortly after running out of breath that it’s a better choice to rest your head on his pectoral, giving up on both the shower and possibly the movie night. The laughter dies down, but never the love that Jaemin shows for you. On the back of your head, you can feel his thumping heartbeat, the rhythm making your eyelids fall naturally.

Jaemin carefully slides you over to the mattress on his side, turning his body to face the girl he loves the most in this world. His eyelashes flutter quietly, quieter than the humming of the white rectangular machine stuck high onto his wall. He doesn’t bother waking you up, content with the tiny snores you let out through the small gap between your lips.

“And to think you were scolding me minutes ago.” Bopping your ice-cold nose with the pad of his pointer finger. “Okay, at this point you’re going to freeze.”

Though exhausted and body screaming to just fall asleep then and there, Jaemin pulls himself back to the edge of the bed, standing and stretching his four limbs. He quickly retreated to the connecting bathroom, picking up your discarded items that he made you toss to avoid his parents from waking up and scolding the young couple in love—though he knows they will just scold him given how much his parents adore everything about you.

Scared that you would soon wake up in the very uncomfortable posture that you have right now, more than half your feet dangling off the bed, Jaemin swiftly completes his night routine, skipping the one that would make his dentist question his habits but he pushed the thought aside for now. As quiet as he could, he makes his way over to your still peaceful figure. His knees sink into the bed, eyes observing you while he holds his breath to avoid any more unnecessary movements than the ones he’s making right now.

An arm lifts your upper body, and Jaemin quickly jumps behind you. You did stir a bit in your sleep when Jaemin undoes the noisy metal zipper of your jacket but nonetheless, he succeeded without bringing you back into full consciousness. In his head, he imagines himself doing a little celebratory dance under the shining disco ball, all the fluorescent light on him on the dance floor. Then, the same arm is placed on your upper back once more but now paired with his other arm tucked under the back of your knees. You quickly adjusted to the position, Jaemin raising your body high enough for you to relish in the remnants of his cologne on the crook of his neck. 

“I love you, Nana.” You confess to him earnestly. “I love you so much…”

Jaemin stands on one side of the bed, scanning the curves of your face intently as if he has never noticed the small mole on the slope of your nose. He couldn’t fight off the want to steal another kiss from you, bending his neck down to slot his soft ones to hug your plump ones. A satisfied hum is brought out after, Jaemin mirroring your content heart with another lingering press on your forehead.

Soon enough, your body is finally between his bouncy mattress and his weighted polyester. Immediately, your hands roam over to the other side of the bed where Jaemin would usually be, groaning when all you felt was the crinkles of the cotton that is not his shirt.

“Okay, okay. I’m here.” He assures the dissatisfaction painted on your face first by flicking the light switch off and then by wrapping your smaller frame into his own. 

The muscles of your whole body relax for the first time in a while at the thought of going to dreamland—maybe it’s the Jaemin effect. A hand makes its way to the curve of your head, fingertips half-buried into your strands. A slight gush of wind can be felt on your nose but you don’t mind the proximity, even continuing to scoot even closer, pleased with the hand on your lower back that pushes you in closer. 

“Sleep tight.” His eyes landed on the brown bag across the room and his muted laptop that plays your favourite comfort movie. He lets the movie play, strategically moving his forearm to block the blue light emitted. When he confirms that his shadow falls upon your lids, he places the lightest kiss as a final ‘goodnight’. “I love you.”

So maybe, you don’t hate the hot weather as much as you thought.

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

[lovely-showtimes]

Hi erm, can you do when a reader is blunt as hell and rude too, casual smug attitude but deep down they are kind and nice? Project sekai boys btw separately

blunt . . . ♡

characters - akito, toya, tsukasa, rui.

type - hcs.

a/n - i planned on working on this yesterday, and then i experienced an Unforeseen Event and now it's today. enjoy <3

At first, you two will definitely butt heads

Your similar personalities don't... mesh well, shall we say

It's not uncommon to see the two of you arguing over something pretty small either

But something's that's true for both of you is that you're total softies at heart

Even if you (lightly) mock Akito for his fear of dogs, you're still quick to take his hand and lead him away if you see one approaching

And if one of Akito's jabs at you cuts a little too deep, he quickly drops it and apologises

The two of you can definitely be tough on each other, but at the end of the day, you do really care about each other.

"...You know, you remind me of someone that I know." "Eh? Really?! Who?!" "Actually, never mind..."

Toya is very indifferent to your general rudeness and smugness

You being blunt is just how you are and he's fully accepted it

Plus, it's pretty hard to be rude to him in general, considering that he usually takes things you say literally

He's also not at all surprised whenever you start being kind to him

Maybe, Toya just knew you weren't the rude, smug person you portrayed yourself as

He understands you, in a way. I think he took one look at you and he instantly knew what kind of person you were

(Bonus points if your first meeting was you doing something sweet for someone and then immediately getting embarrassed that Toya saw it.)

Like Akito, the two of you will definitely argue, except this time it's over even more inconsequential things

You've discovered it's very easy to rile him up, and you take advantage of it to mess with him

"Oh no, Tsukasa, watch out! There's a spider on your shoulder!" "THERE'S A WHAT?! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF-! Wait, you're laughing!! You're lying, aren't you?!?!"

(You weren't actually lying, his reactions are just too funny. But he knocked it off while he was panicking, so you decide not to correct him.)

He just doesn't understand you. He thinks you're strange, which is a lot coming from him

His confusion only grows whenever you do something kind for him

Which is then immediately replaced by him getting emotional over you being kind to him

...Which involves a surprising amount of tears, you've come to realise.

Rui just thinks you're really funny

Neither of you are sure why he's so fascinated by you, but you've both accepted it

Any attempts to rile him up usually just get turned back on you somehow, so you've just given up trying to mess with him

He's usually never fazed by any rude jabs you make at him either

In a way, you both want to study each other under a microscope

Any genuine acts of kindness from you will actually shock Rui, though

He didn't expect you to be so sweet to him, after all. But he really appreciates it <3

...He might tease you about it later, though. All in good fun, of course.

[devilfic]

❝small favor❞

V. the christmas special.

parts: previously / next plot: it's the most beautiful time of the year. pairing: mcu!peter parker x gn!reader. cw: christmas shenanigans, alcohol mentions, harry gets drunk for norman osborn related reasons, peter is a little ball of anxiety because he likes you, can I share with you what jobs I think ned and mj got after graduation. words: 8.4k.

a/n: this was gonna be a two-parter but I thought. no. so instead it's just super long :D

Peter has started visiting more.

There were the surprise visits on weekends. Something was just too important to wait a week, and too important to give you a call, and you liked that he made a note of bringing you food for the trouble. Then he was popping in on Wednesday nights—sometimes Friday mornings—because he'd forgotten to tell you this or he just couldn't wait to tell you that.

And he has texting you more, too. Not super serious things either, and after a few days of it, you had worked the fight or flight reaction to his ringtone out of your system. At some point, you had started feeling like this was becoming... a genuine friendship.

"I mean... I... yeah. We talked about it, didn't we?" Peter stops pouring, brownie batter dribbling off the lip of the bowl, "Friends. I- I think of you as a friend. If you think of me... as a friend."

You gnaw on your pen as you study him. It's another weekend surprise visit, and this time he's brought you boxed brookie batter as an olive branch. You'd actually been busy this time, and so you'd put him to work baking it while you made your vacation list, "It's just... crazy. I mean, we went from being strangers to only seeing each other once a week—purely professionally—and now you bake me things. And we hang out."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing! It's just weird," he continues to pour as you talk, "I used to see you as this unattainable hero. I couldn't believe you trusted me, felt comfortable enough to tell me your name, to care enough that even EDITH knows who I am. And now we're friends."

Peter's nose scrunches at that, and you've never wished more than now that you could see the rest of his face. He starts placing balls of cookie dough in the batter, "You talk about me like I'm Beyoncé or something."

"You're the Beyoncé of superheroes."

"Hey, that is not true. That title goes to Captain Marvel."

"Not to me."

"Well, of course not to you. You're my biggest fan."

"Wow, demoted to a fan already."

Peter slides the pan into the oven, "You know what I mean. You're biased."

"You're starting to sound like Jameson now."

He kicks the oven door closed and hops up onto the kitchen counter next to you, nudging your knee with his knee, "Oh, you haven't heard my Jameson impression. Watch this." Peter clears his throat, clenches his fist, and shakes it in the air, "Spider-Man is a menace and should be charged with domestic terrorism!"

You giggle, "Do more."

"5G isn't giving your kids cancer, it's Spider-Man leaving his webs all over the city!"

"More!"

"Spider-Man is laying eggs in our city's sewers so that one day, all his freaky spider children will rise up and take over New York!"

"Please, keep going."

Peter groans. You see his head tilt toward the notepad in your lap, "How's the vacation going? Or vacation planning, I guess."

You sigh. Your list to pack kept getting longer, and yet, anytime you tried to focus on what to bring, you would just remember something else you needed to do before leaving New York. "How do you think, based on my utter lack of excitement?"

Peter raises a brow, "Whaaat? You're not excited for Miami?"

"I was, but... everything in the world is happening at the same time. Jameson wants me to get two more articles out before I leave and my family wanted me in Florida three days ago. At this rate, I'm just barely going to make it there before Christmas. Not to mention..." You trail off as you look to Peter, whose mask eyes have gone comically wide in interest, "I don't want to leave you all alone."

"You know I've been Spider-Manning since I was like, 14, right?"

"Well, yeah, but- wait, 14?" Peter grimaces. You gloss over it before he can worry himself about it, "Anyway, I just worry. I mean, with Fisk turning the PR tide and God knows what he's planning, I don't wanna just fly to the other side of the country. It feels wrong."

Peter smirks, "Nah, nah. It's fine. I can take care of myself."

"Don't make me remind you about how all of this," you gesture between Peter and the oven, "started." He looks away from you, sheepish. "You know what I mean, right? Maybe I'm overestimating my worth to you, but-"

"You're definitely not. You have no idea how much you mean to me." That stuns you. It stuns both of you, clearly, if Peter's frantic peek at your face was anything to go by. His mouth gapes like a fish out of water for a moment, "I just mean that... you've made being Spidey... easier on me. It's nice knowing someone's actually on my side in this city. So yeah, it will feel really weird without you being just a swing away."

"You can still call, Peter. I won't mind."

"And when your family asks who's bothering you while you're sunbathing on the beach?"

"I mean, my little cousins will be impressed if I name drop Spider-Man."

He smiles. He kicks his feet out, heels bumping the cabinet doors beneath you while silence settles. You take this chance to examine a slight fraying on the fabric of his suit, a hole beginning to form on his upper thigh that you could just fit your pinky through. You remembered a time when his suit was made out of sweatpants and a dream.

He was 14 when he first started all of this. When you were 14, you were stressing over high school essays and alien invasions. You couldn't help but think that maybe he'd lost his youth to this thing. This thing that brought you together.

Spider-Man who, back then, was really a kid. He'd had to grow into it. You couldn't imagine having to grow into that. "Well, that's enough about my holiday plans. What about you?" Peter prepares to answer, then deflates. "What's up?"

He bites his bottom lip, "I don't... have any."

Your heart sinks, "What? Why not?"

"No, no, it's fine. I'll probably be out on patrol making sure everybody else is having a safe, criminal-free winter break."

Sliding off the counter, you come to stand in front of Peter with your arms folded, "Absolutely not."

"Okay, before you say anything-"

"It's Christmas, Peter! You're supposed to take time off! Be with friends and family. If you never take a break, you'll wear yourself out."

"Just hear me out-"

"No! I won't have it. You're not the only hero in New York. You're taking Christmas off. I don't care if I have to stuff you in a carry-on and take you with me but you will not be working-"

One hand clamps around the back of your head and the other silences you, turning your complaints into mush, "If you would let me finish..." you huff indignantly against his hand, "you'd know that a friend of mine is throwing a Christmas party and I was invited. There. I have plans."

Your face softens. "Really?" You ask, but the sound is muffled and it comes out more like, "Will-ee?"

Peter laughs, hand slipping from your mouth, "Really. I'll at least take a few hours off. Maybe more if I fall into a food coma."

Peter's other hand is still cradling your head, but you don't bring it to his attention. "You promise? I won't have to fly back early and check up on you, will I? 'Cause I'll do it."

"I wouldn't stop you." You glower, making Peter's mask eyes squint with amusement, "I promise."

"Sometimes I think you like making me worry over you."

"Would you believe me if I said that I'm just this awful all the time?"

"Yes, but that would make me worry even more."

The hand at your neck gently curls around the side of your throat, Peter's thumb angling your chin up to his own. The brush of it makes you tremble just slightly.

Was he trying to make you dissolve into a puddle?

"I'll be okay. Just... come back to the city, will ya? Don't fall in love with Miami."

You place one of your hands over the hand on your throat. The other hovers somewhere near his knee on the countertop, unsure of yourself. When you admire his exposed mouth, you think of Peter. Parker.

You remember you hadn't actually talked about that since it happened. It was Peter's intention to skirt around Parker, regardless of how certain you were that they were the same person. It was all in jest, sure, but some small part of you (some incredibly small, minuscule, microscopic part of you) wondered if your reporter brain just fit the two pieces together because it wanted them to fit.

Perhaps he wasn't Peter Parker. Perhaps this really was all a coincidence, and perhaps aliens didn't fall from the sky and gods didn't save the world.

You wouldn't push him on it. You wouldn't look into it either, because reporter brain be damned. You cared more about the Peter you knew than the Peter you didn't.

You smile up at him, "How could I? Miami doesn't have you."

"Nice to see you could finally make it, kiddo." Jillian is grinning at you when you arrive, her baby tucked at her hip and her wife entertaining the little monster over her shoulder. She sees the winded look on your face and immediately motions you over, pressing a hand to your cheek, "Did you crawl out of a snowdrift? You're freezing!"

You lean into it, chasing the warmth in hopes that it would restore some feeling to your skin, "The storm's getting awful out there."

"Came outta nowhere, didn't it?" Jillian's wife snorts, booping the baby's nose. "We almost didn't risk coming with the little one, it was so bad."

Said little one looks perfectly warm wrapped up in her blanket, an envious sight as you shiver and shuck off your coat to hang. You would offer the kid a boop on the nose yourself, but with your fingers frozen solid around your offering—a plate of sugar cookies—you don't want to make her cry. You give her a smile instead.

"Oh, and would you believe it?" Jillian whispers, sidling up to you, primed for gossip, "We've got a real treat here tonight. Take a wild guess who decided to show up."

"Jonah's wife?"

Jillian cackles, "God no. The stalker."

As soon as she says the name, your eyes zero in on him.

He's wearing that plaid shirt again, but the collar and cuffs are all that peek out from underneath a wrinkly blue sweater. His hair is free and gelled back, revealing his nervous expression more clearly. Nursing a cup of apple cider, he just barely looks like he wants to be here. But then he catches your eye across the room.

And he waves.

"Oh my," Jillian teases, "you must've left quite the impression if he came all this way just to see you."

"He did not come just to see me." You reply in a hushed tone, but she laughs at you all the same.

"Sure. And that's not him heading over right now, even though he's been hugging the wall all night."

You jerk your head to where Parker was standing, and, sure enough, he's pursuing you.

You part from Jillian before she can get the chance to embarrass you (she accepts your cookies as payment), and so you all but jog to meet him halfway.

He doesn't get the chance to be polite before you're interrogating him, "Where did you go?"

"Uh... What?"

"At the gala. When I ran back inside the ballroom, I couldn't find you anywhere."

Peter's eyes slowly widen, "You went back inside?"

"Answer the question, please."

"Wh- I... I was there. You didn't see me?"

"No, I didn't."

"It got crazy after Fisk rushed the stage. I got swept up in the crowd. You must've missed me."

"Really? 'Cause I was with the crowd, you know. In front of the building? Where Fisk was giving his big speech about how he saved the day? I didn't see you anywhere."

Peter blinks, then gasps as if he'd just remembered something important, "You know what? That's right. I went to go find Harry. I wanted to make sure he was alright, and then I couldn't find you in the crowd so I just assumed... I'm sorry for leaving you back there all alone." You watch as he fumbles for something convincing, "I texted Spider-Man about it, though. He said you were safe."

You fold your arms, "...Is that all he said about me?"

"Well, that. And something about your conspiracy theory?"

"Conspiracy theory."

The topic change gets some of the tension in Peter's shoulders melting away, replaced with a smile faint enough to not pass as overtly smug. He waits for one of your co-workers to move out of earshot before continuing, "You think... I'm Spider-Man."

Your jaw tightens. You know that anyone would draw the same conclusions you did after that night. You also know that no matter how logical your reasoning is, you sound highly illogical when you admit to it out loud. If you brought up the same accusation to Jillian or Jameson, they'd both laugh you out of the office.

You have to stand your ground, though. If there was one thing you were learning about Peter, it was that he was easy to fluster, "And if I do?"

"I'm flattered, really, but I don't really have the hand-eye coordination."

You know it's bullshit. He should know you know it's bullshit. If it hadn't been for his quick thinking, you and Harry would've been trampled under the masses at the gala. It's bullshit and he's waiting for his checkmate that will never come.

You do not give it a second thought. You toss your phone at Peter's head.

And he catches it. Of course he does. He stops it mere inches from his face.

If anyone saw you try to give him a concussion, they don't come over to question you on it. "Can you..." Peter starts after a breath, a bit dazed, "...can you stop trying to hit me?"

You go to defend yourself because, at the very least, you hadn't meant to try to punch Peter—which meant it didn't count—when someone barrels right into you.

And, to prove you right twice in a row, Peter is quick to catch you. He scoops you up into his arms before you end up a reporter pancake on the floor. One of your co-workers, already blitzed off spiked eggnog, had bumped you on their way to the drinks table for what looked like the umpteenth time tonight, and didn't have enough marbles to apologize before bumping someone else.

Peter is careful in how he holds you. There's that unmistakable strength behind his grip, but also... he was gentle. He felt safe.

You don't make to escape just yet, all your bravado knocked right out of you. "Jesus, you okay?" His eyes dart over to your co-worker and a scowl turns his expression sour, "Jonah should put a cap on the drinks."

You feel more than embarrassed stumbling to your feet, even more so when Peter still coddles you after you're standing upright. "I'm fine. Thanks." Peter's looking at you, brows drawn together, with so much concern it makes that second thought from earlier come in hot with a sizable topping of shame, "Talk about instant karma."

Then it's gone. Peter laughs and... it sounds just like your Peter. Undeniably. You can't help but give in. For a fleeting moment, the question of secret identities has melted away and it's just the two of you, giggling about something silly.

You're ashamed enough to apologize for throwing your phone at his head when the laughter dies down. You succeed in stealing it back and lead him over to the windows, far away from any more drunken disasters, "It's alright. I've had worse thrown at me before."

You raise an eyebrow, "Oh? Like what?"

His voice catches in his throat at first, "A... carton of expired milk. High school bully, Flash Thompson. We were both on the same academic decathlon team but he never gave up on his dream of professional baseball."

"Flash Thompson? You mean, Silicon Valley, MIT grad, tech startup millionaire Flash Thompson?"

Peter winces, "The one and only."

You frown at the distant look on Peter's face, aware of some regret there at the mention of Flash. "You and Harry went to ESU together, right? Is that where you always wanted to go?"

Peter shakes his head, but a smile comes to his face regardless, "MIT was my first choice, actually. But... even with a scholarship, I just couldn't imagine leaving New York behind. So I stayed. Went to ESU. Helped my Aunt May with the mortgage on her first house since my... my uncle passed. And now I'm selling pictures of Spider-Man to pay my rent."

You can't help the way you soften. "I'm so sorry about your uncle, Peter. Your Aunt May is lucky to have you around."

His eyelids flutter closed for a breath, and his smile grows wider. If it were even possible. "I'm lucky to have her."

You stand there together in silence after that, but it feels more comfortable than before. All the scrutiny and speculation you'd come in with had faded away, and now you were left wondering more about Peter. His hopes, his dreams, his life before all of this. What would it have been like if he'd gone to MIT? Where would you be? Or Spider-Man?

Peter's eyes peel open, "So, what about you?"

"Oh. Well, I took a shine to my school newspaper. After... everything in 2012, I knew the world would never be the same. So I had dreams of becoming a journalist, covering the street, being the first on the scene. Took my ass to college on part-time jobs and a dream, and interned at nearly every newspaper in the city before Jameson gave me a shot here. As much as I can't stand the way he talks about Spidey... he's not that bad of a guy. All things considered."

Peter agrees, "He did hire you, so..."

"Yeah, well," you lean your cheek against the window, glass cooling your blush, "At least Spidey doesn't hold it against me... but, I have to ask: why the Bugle? I mean, with photos like yours, you should be fighting off every publication in the city. Instead you turn in these... absolute masterpieces, freelancing, for a guy who can't even give you due credit, and you only stop by for a paycheck."

Peter looks to the window, the wind howling over a crooner's cover of Santa Baby. The storm was still raging on outside, and you dreaded the thought of having to walk through it to get back home. The taxis wouldn't have much luck either from the looks of it. "I... like my job, but it's not what I wanna do forever. I don't care about fame or Pulitzer prizes. It's always been about taking care of me and my Aunt May, and Jameson is a lot of things but he's always understood that. He pays me enough that I can have a place of my own and a little leftover for my aunt, and he doesn't ask questions.

"I don't need to be seen. And that's the whole point, isn't it?" His expression gradually warms as he recalls something, "It's not who's behind the lens that matters, but who's in front of it."

Your expression warms too, "I can see why Spidey likes you."

A notification disturbs the moment. Raising a finger at Peter, you check the latest notification... and your stomach drops.

Peter takes a step forward, sensing the change in atmosphere, "What? What is it?"

"My flight's been cancelled. I was leaving tomorrow for Miami but the storm..."

"Oh. Man, I'm sorry."

"I should've left sooner, I should've left when my family..." You lose the motivation to even finish your sentence, feeling exhausted all at once, "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm stuck here for Christmas."

Peter stuffs his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet as he searches for something to say. You're about to tell him not to worry about it when he speaks up, "You know," he starts, the uncertainty in his voice giving you pause, "it's no... Miami, but my aunt throws this Christmas party every year? For Christmas Eve. We invite a few friends over for dinner. She'd love it if you came."

"Oh, Peter, that's sweet but... I don't really want to intrude on a friend thing-"

"No, no, it's okay! Anyone can come. It'll just be my aunt, some of her co-workers from F.E.A.S.T., a few of my friends, my ex-girlfriend-"

"Your- what?"

"Oh. Well, I mean, we were friends before we dated. Well... technically? She sort of just... hung around me and Ned in high school and then we started dating for a while but then we broke up in university. But we stayed friends. Became better friends, actually. So, she's my ex but also a really good friend. I promise it's not weird or anything. She's super cool about it. And I am too! Her name's MJ. I think you'll like her."

You stare at Peter. You think you see a bead of sweat twinkle on his forehead underneath the Christmas lights above.

He insists that you're welcome to come, and staying home alone for Christmas would be pretty hypocritical after your argument with Spider-Man.

Spider-Man.

"...and Spider-Man will be there."

Spider-Man?

You abruptly lock eyes with Peter. "Spider-Man?"

Peter's smile is tight-lipped, "Yeah." His voice cracks. "I mean, he's just stopping by real quick, but I invited him. He might not come. But... he also might."

Was this the friend of his throwing a Christmas party? Why in the world would Peter (Parker) invite you to the same party Spider-Man would be at, unless he could stand in the same room as him at the exact same time? There'd be no other way to convince you otherwise, and you'd be forced to accept that they really were two completely different people.

Yeah, right.

You'd go to this party and suss it out for yourself.

And it wouldn't hurt, would it? Peter was nice, if not the most awkward person you've ever met. To offer you a place at his aunt's Christmas dinner not long after hurling an object at his head was a sign of true Christmas spirit. You could learn a thing or two from him, "Okay. You've convinced me. What's your number? You can text me the address."

Peter blanks for a moment, "Um... yeah, um..." You watch him flounder, growing increasingly suspicious, "Can I see your phone?"

You drop your phone in his hand. His fingers move quickly across the keyboard before returning it to you. Peter Parker is now in your contacts. You check the number against Spidey's but there isn't a match. "Thanks," you glance at his wobbly smile, "I sent you a text."

Peter gestures behind him, "Oh, cool, awesome. Will you excuse me for a sec? I gotta use the restroom." And he doesn't wait for you to affirm before he's rushing down the hall and out of sight.

A full minute passes before you receive a text back from Peter.

15 Amfan Ave Forest Hills, NY 11375 7pm :) Hope you can make it! He never shuts up about you *I *shut

Hm.

So... I hear you're throwing things at people now Who told you that? You lose one phone, then you try to bludgeon an innocent man with another. I should lock you up and throw away the key I wasn't trying to bludgeon him, because I knew he'd be perfectly *fine*. And he helped me prove a point Which was... That the chances of him being you are more likely than either of you would have me to believe Could it be that you just have a thing for attractive, masked men? That is That is irrelevant to the conversation HA you so do Literally nothing to do with anything I just said It's okay. The mask makes it really easy to project one's ideal man onto me. Or so I've learned through Twitter I'm not projecting *anything* onto you Do you picture Ryan Reynolds when you talk to me? It's okay if you do Peter, shut up Maybe someone more boyish like Timothy chalet Timothee Chalet Timothee Chalamett I'd say you just like hearing yourself talk but this is a textual conversation I like that we can talk like this :) I like it too :) What about Tom Holland? We've got the same jaw If you think me accusing you of being Parker is me projecting a handsome man onto you, I can only assume you think he's hot. Which means I can assume you have a thing for him. Because I can also make things up Like Batman and Clark Kent? Are you saying Parker is the Clark Kent in our fictional relationship? More like Superman and Jimmy Olsen And you're my Lois Lane? ... Goodnight, Peter

Aunt May's home is beautiful. There's a lovingly sculpted garden out front that has since given into the snow, but you can tell it's a sight in the spring. For now, the Christmas garland lining the doorframe—wrapped in a rope of rainbow lights—brightens up the porch. As does the collection of little striped sweater-wearing gnomes gathered around the front door.

There's a commotion of voices behind it as you approach. You shift your plate into one hand, pressing the doorbell with the other, and the voices get louder. You swallow down your nerves when the door is ripped open by a stranger.

The stranger in question is staring out into the dark at you like they weren't expecting you. Your eyes quickly dart to the plaque beside the door and see a bold "15" emblazoned there. Nope. This is the house.

Their eyes zero in on the plate in your hand. Smiling, they open the door wide and step back, "Sweet! Peter said you'd bring dessert."

You kick the snow off your boots before stepping inside. The stranger shuts the door behind you before any more of the cold could get in. "It's peppermint bark," you explain, returning a smile of your own, "but I hear May's making a cake."

"May and Peter. May's great with everything but the oven- don't tell her I said that. I'm Ned, by the way." Ned holds his hand out for a shake.

Ned is really talkative, you find out. He holds your peppermint bark as you undo your boots and coat at the door, rattling off about how Peter and he had been friends at Midtown. He tells you about his job as a cybersecurity specialist, a job he'd naturally floated toward after graduating from MIT, and how he'd stayed with the Parkers for a few months after moving back to New York. It's how he knows that the downstairs bathroom door won't close unless you lift up when you shut it. You only remember about half of what he says by the time you get to the living room.

There are considerably fewer people than you expected, one of which makes his way over the minute you catch his eye.

"Hey," Harry grins. Unlike the nice suit he'd worn to the gala, he's dressed down in jeans and an ugly sweater with "I've been naughty" printed in big letters across the front, looking a lot less tense than when you'd first seen him, "Fancy seeing you here."

"I could say the same." You can't help but ask, "Don't the Osborns host Christmas Eve at Oscorp tower every year?"

Harry's good mood fizzles out right before your eyes. You feel pretty awful about it. "Uh, yeah. Norman does. But it's more business than anything, so I dipped. I'd rather be here watching Pete fuck up a perfectly good cake."

"I heard that!" Peter's voice calls from a room away.

Harry's good mood returns, "Well, it's good to see you at the annual Parker holiday celebration. And I'll forgive you for poking into my family business if you hand over those treats."

Bashful, you let Ned pass the plate into your hands before passing it to Harry, "Sorry. Reporter brain."

Harry's nose scrunches up, "Don't apologize. Unless these taste like ass."

"I promise they taste better than ass."

"Good enough," he backs away, turning his head to shout down the hall, "Peter! Get in here already!"

When the redhead is immersed in a game of UNO, you turn to Ned, "And that doesn't... feel weird? Having Harry Osborn at family dinner?"

"There are weirder things about Peter. Speak of the devil."

The ugly sweater is the first thing you notice. A companion to Harry's, it is nearly the exact same design, except for the "I've been nice" where the "I've been naughty" had been. He's dusting his hands of something when he comes around the corner. His eyes soften when he sees you with Ned, "Hey, you came." He says in a much too gentle voice. Harry and his opponents nearly drown him out with their cheers and boos.

Unlike at the office party, you notice, Peter's hair isn't tamed by hat nor hair gel. Instead, it curls incessantly around his flushed cheeks. He looked like a damn Keebler elf. It was frustratingly adorable. "Of course. I heard there'd be cake."

"How is that cake, Peter?" Ned pulls on a piece of the ugly sweater as he walks by, and you realize that some of the red had been singed. You follow Peter's frantic gaze from the hole to you.

"This was unrelated to the cake."

"You burned something else?"

"No! One of the stockings fell into the fireplace and I-" Peter trails off as you begin to smile, "you don't get to laugh at me if you didn't bring sweets."

"I did! Harry stole them." You nod over to the coffee table where the group is devouring your peppermint bark with reckless abandon. At least you knew they didn't taste like ass. Peter rushes over to steal the plate before they could polish off the last handful, much to their protest.

"Dinner's almost ready, I swear. You've met Ned, uh, Harry..." Peter scans the group, using his free hand to point out people, "...that's Yolanda, Katie, Lexie, Eduardo: all May's friends. May's in the kitchen but I'd stay out of her way until the ham comes out unharmed."

You notice that out of everyone gathered in the house, he does not mention his ex-girlfriend. "And MJ?"

You wait for an answer. Instead, something heavy shakes the house from above. It doesn't sound like it came from outside, but rather somewhere in the house. Not quite above your head. Weirdly enough, only you seem to be concerned about it.

Peter just glances at the ceiling, "And MJ."

MJ is tossing an empty storage bin to the side when you crawl up through the floor behind Peter. She's crouched on the balls of her feet, shoulders slouched, the sharp bones of her back poking through her tight graphic tee. Her head snaps toward you both when she hears you grunt up the last rung of the ladder. Her eyes narrow on you, then Peter, "I can't find it."

Peter offers you a hand to hoist you further into the attic, "Did you check the-"

"Yes. And I checked the one next to it. And the one next to that."

You look at Peter for an explanation, but he doesn't provide you with one. He walks over to where MJ has now fallen back on her ass, rifling through one of the bins. His mouth twists to the side. "Maybe she meant the box next to her old CDs?"

"There's like 15 boxes in here, Peter."

Off to the side of the room, where MJ was currently facing the mysterious dilemma, were about nine—not 15—storage bins in disarray. Two were off to the side, emptied of their contents: there were piles of men's clothes, women's clothes, baby blankets, and more. The third box that MJ was poring over had Halloween decorations in it.

"Well, you're getting close." Peter encourages.

The way MJ grumbles resentfully has you squirming. As time ticked on, your presence unannounced, you were starting to feel like an intruder. You clear your throat and MJ looks over at you for the second time, "Maybe I could help?" You offer.

At this, MJ brightens. "Finally! Someone cares about my plight. I don't know you, do I?"

You crawl over to where MJ is sitting and Peter gestures to you, "MJ, I told you about the reporter from the Bugle, right?" You give your name for good measure, and MJ's eyebrows raise. She gives a quick, indecipherable look to Peter. He returns it. Then she examines you.

After a moment, she dusts her hand off on her khakis and holds it out for you to shake, "Michelle Jones. Call me MJ." You repeat her nickname warmly. "Peter never shuts up about you."

Peter chokes on his spit.

"He... he does?"

MJ continues shaking your hand for longer than necessary, smiling secretively now, "Oh, yeah. He's got your blog bookmarked too. Post notifs for your Twitter, the works." You cut your eyes to Peter, appalled that he'd ratted you out to someone else, but MJ is quick, "I figured it out on my own ages ago."

"Is it really that obvious it's me?"

"No." And she smiles wider.

Peter is about to cut in with something when a woman's voice rings out, shrill and clear despite two layers of flooring in between you. He's needed with the ham. He looks between you and MJ, reluctant, "Look, if you can't find it-"

"We will." MJ's reply is confident, leaving no room for failure. You feel a little pressure applied to "we".

Peter nods. He mouths an apology at you and skitters out of the attic.

Left alone with MJ, you notice that she is staring at you now. You feel like you've been left alone with an oracle, prepared for your innermost being to be laid bare before you: past, present, and future. She looks like the type to know what makes people tick.

"What are you looking for?" You try to break the silence, though your voice comes out meeker than you'd have liked.

She doesn't look away from you as her fingers grip the container in between her legs, "Uncle Ben's favorite Christmas sweater. All I know is it has a reindeer holding a beer on the front."

Reinbeer. You almost laugh at it. You imagine it would tickle an uncle pink too. "Then I'll get to looking."

You've only just crawled over to a bin of your own when MJ asks you outright, "You like Peter, right?"

Your hand stills as it pries the top off. You feel her eyes burning into your back. "He's... nice, yeah."

You can hear how unimpressed she is with that, "I don't know if it's obvious, but Peter isn't exactly popular." You think that's kind of a cruel thing to say about someone you consider a friend, but MJ keeps going, "All he had was Ned back at Midtown. And me, eventually. I've known him since high school and he's made maybe a handful of friends, maybe less. The last time he invited someone new to Christmas dinner was Harry."

And that had been at least a few years, judging by how long Harry had been away at Oxford.

But why was she telling you this?

"He likes you." You yelp when you realize MJ's voice has gotten close. You turn, and she's kneeling behind you with no interest in your fear. "But do you like him?"

In her hands is a faded, toy Iron Man mask. "I... I think he's nice. I mean kind," you correct yourself when MJ frowns, "but I... I don't really know him. I mean, I don't think I do. I've only actually spoken to him twice and one of those times, there was a gun involved. Everything I know about him is through his pictures and Spidey, and I trust Spidey. So, I trust Peter."

"And Spider-Man?"

"What?"

"Do you like Spider-Man?"

You swallow. Like didn't really sum up how you felt about him. He was a hero, an inspiration, a friend, and also... yeah, you felt something more there too.

You think about why she would ask. Why it would have anything to do with you liking Peter or not. You look at her and it feels like she hasn't really asked you that different of a question at all. Your answer is much more definitive this time, "I do. I like him more than I know what to do with."

MJ leans back on her haunches. She appraises you, "He's pretty great, isn't he?" Her tone is considerably softer.

"Yeah. He really is." You smile.

MJ hands the mask to you and you take it, admiring the chips in its paint and the lovingly worn edges. She scoots between you and the bin you'd been looking into and pops the lid off. Almost immediately, she swears in relief. Sitting folded on top is the most gaudy sweater you've ever seen. A deformed reindeer is embroidered on the front, and sure enough, holds a can of beer in its hoof. When MJ shakes it out, little specks of dust fly everywhere.

This, too, she hands to you. You look at her in bewilderment. "You'll wanna make a good first impression with May," she advises, "just be prepared for the water works."

And there are water works.

May throws her arms around your neck and just about sobs her thanks to you, squishing the sweater between your chests. You note that she smells like candy canes. When she draws back, her glasses are all askew, "And I'm so glad you could make it! Peter wouldn't shut up about you. Isn't that right, Petey?"

Peter's eye twitches. "I'm gonna set the table. Ned, you wanna set the table?" And he scoots past you and May without waiting for a response.

"Don't mind him, he gets testy when he's cooking. Did Petey give you the tour?" You shake your head and May kisses her teeth in Peter's direction, "Okay, this is the kitchen, around the corner here is the dining room. You've seen the living room and the attic. The bathroom is by the front door, and the bedrooms are upstairs. If someone's in the bathroom down here, do not use the bathroom by the stairs. That's Ned's favorite when he gets bubbly guts, and he will get bubbly guts."

Ned complains under his breath as he walks by.

"If you need somewhere to get away from the festivities for a bit, backyard's that way and my room's upstairs, first door to the left. All good?" She pets your shoulder. Then, she looks down at the sweater still in your hands and takes it from you, tenderly. "I'm gonna go change into this and then dinner is served. Help yourself to anything, okay?"

May leaves you in the kitchen with that. Around the corner, Peter and Ned are fussing over where to put the ham and sides. Around the other corner, Harry is drunkenly singing Christmas carols with Yolanda. MJ watches on from the corner of the room, recording on her phone. She catches your eye and mouths, "For blackmail."

You peek into the dining room and Peter is worrying over one of the chairs. You can hear Ned scold him, "Sit next to them. You don't wanna talk over the ham. It'll kill the mood."

"But how do I... subtly get them to sit in this chair and not next to MJ or something?"

"Tell MJ not to sit next to them."

"But what if-" You jolt a little when Peter suddenly spots you eavesdropping. He straightens up with a death grip on the chair he'd been messing with, "Hey! Hi. This is your chair by the way." And he tops it all off with a smile.

It's warm in May's home.

You don't even register the cold at first. You do register Harry's frenzy, the way he grabs far more napkins than he needs to, pressing them to your stomach where the majority of his spilled drink had gone. When you finally do comprehend what just happened, you place your hands over his, "How long have you been plotting your revenge?"

Harry is red-faced. He lets you hold the napkins there while May rushes to find a towel, "Sorry. I wasn't looking where I was- sorry."

You don't get to dwell on the déjà vu of it all. May is ushering you up the stairs with a beach towel pressed to your front, muttering about how she'll have to put Harry on ginger ale for the rest of the night. She guides you into what you're certain is Peter's old bedroom.

It's been cleaned out, and most of his personal belongings must be at his own place, but there are still old posters on the wall, and a calendar dated in April, two years ago. His bed is ruffled like he'd slept overnight. It's neat, and looks like it usually is neat, but there are traces of him everywhere, like picture frames with Peter and May and a man you don't recognize.

"Peter probably has something here you can wear. It's all stuff from college." She digs through the top drawer of his dresser, finally stopping on a sweatshirt with Empire State University in college block across the chest. "Here! You think this'll fit?"

She stretches it out and you nod, thankful, "Yeah, thank you so much, May."

She smiles, "Okay. Bathroom's across the hall if you need to wash off. I can run your shirt through a wash while you're here if you'd like. Just let me know, okay?"

May is, perhaps, the sweetest woman on earth. She leaves you with a thumbs up and shuts the door behind you, reminding you to lock it after she leaves.

Your shirt had absorbed most of the drink, and you're relatively unscathed besides some sticky residue. You wipe at your stomach with the towel she'd given you and slip Peter's sweater on. It feels... odd, wearing it. It smells like May's house with little traces of Peter.

Your eyes drift back to the picture frames.

One such frame sits on top of the dresser, a photo of Peter and the man who you assume is Uncle Ben. He holds Peter in a headlock but they're both smiling at the camera. You smile too, tracing a finger around the wooden edges.

Another picture is of Peter and MJ and Ned, standing outside of MIT with their fingers pointing at the school. Another is of Peter and MJ sharing cotton candy at Coney. Another is of Peter as a little boy, with two people flanking his side that you do not know. You realize you'd never asked about Peter's parents.

There are other photos of him around that age with May and Ben, and as you piece together what feels like an undoubtedly tragic story, you catch something outside the window.

A person. Hanging onto the side of the house.

Your heart hammers in your chest as a hand pushes the window up, and then, "Did I scare you?" Spider-Man perches on the sill with what you can imagine is a shit-eating grin.

You stomp over to the window and shove at his shoulder, but he doesn't budge in the slightest, "You almost gave me a heart attack! Were you watching me get dressed?"

The mask's eyes blow open, "What? No! I swear I just got here."

"Do you ever use the front door?"

"Not if I can help it," he crawls in, staying planted by the window, "don't tell me you're snooping through Parker's things."

"I was just... looking. At the pictures. And Harry Osborn spilled his drink all over me so I had to borrow Parker's shirt."

"Hm. ESU looks good on you."

You look up at Peter, who keeps his hands tucked behind his back, leaning against the wall by the window. "Aren't you gonna say hi to the party? Make Parker look cool?"

"Eventually. Maybe. Might just watch from afar."

"No, nuh-uh. You said you had holiday plans and that you were going to a party. That doesn't count if you're watching from afar."

Peter's head sways to the side, "I never said this was the party I was going to."

"Is there another?"

"Well... maybe. Maybe not."

"Peter-" You whine, but he cuts you off.

"I'm not a party guy! Sue me."

"Well, then Parker's got you beat two for two. Unless you're lying, since I haven't given up on my conspiracy theory."

Peter presses himself off the wall, sauntering toward you in a zig-zag. Your eyes follow him, back and forth, back and forth, until he's a step or two away. His hand reaches out to play with one of your sleeves, its seams resewn with mismatched thread, "Leaving a party as Peter Parker to come back as Spider-Man. Give Parker some credit. That's the kind of plan you come up with in high school."

You shrug, trying not to act like Peter playing with your sleeve wasn't giving you goosebumps. "You never know."

Peter nods, "Yeah, you're right. I mean, he was really excited to see you."

"Oh yeah?" You swallow.

"Yeah. Was kind of pathetic, actually."

Peter shoots a web at the ceiling and twists, catching the web between his feet so he could hang upside down. The suddenness makes you stumble back with a breathless laugh, "That's not a very nice thing to say about a friend."

"Weren't you the one who said he'd be shaking and crying if you yelled at him?"

You sigh, "I was... I was teasing you."

"Because I'm Peter Parker."

He says it matter of fact. You stare at him, "Yeah," you whisper, "that's right."

He pulls himself up the web until he's face to face with you, "Then that wouldn't be very nice to say to a friend, would it?"

"No, it wouldn't. If you were Peter Parker, I guess I'd have to apologize to you."

"Yeah? How?"

You breathe deep. Everyone is still laughing downstairs. You become hyper-aware of the fact that you hadn't locked the door. At any moment, someone could walk in and...

Peter waits, curious.

Your fingers trace the lines of his jaw, pressing into the fabric of his mask, feeling over the ridges where black lines broke red. You know what you want to do. And you also know that there is no going back if you do it.

Your fingers reach the place where the mask meets the rest of his suit. Hooking two fingers under the fabric, you pull.

Your fingernails trace over the curve of his Adam's apple as it bobs, over the jut of his chin. Peter's breath is heaving. One of his hands releases its grip on the web and you see it glide toward yours out of the corner of your eye. You just feel the skin of his bottom lip under your finger when you realize how this might look. What he might think you're trying to do.

Mask in hand, questions of his identity hanging in the air, your curiosity and his vulnerability. You release the mask, awash with worry. You want to get it out before there's any misunderstanding, but as your hand drifts back to yourself, his catches it. You would give anything to know what he's thinking right now.

Peter lets your fingers fall. Silently, he drags the mask over the tip of his nose and leaves it resting there. An invitation. "I trust you." He promises. And kisses you.

He has to stretch a little to reach you. You understand this and press closer, taking the back of his head in your hands and holding it steady for you, but you know you're trembling. You curse yourself for how much your body reacts to this, how uncool you must look, how you shake with all the excitement and terror of this. You kiss him and feel silly about how you claimed to know his lips so well before now. That was nothing.

This is everything. So many things. Each time you go back in for more, you lock away some new little detail about him.

Peter places a hand against your neck and tugs you even closer, but the momentum makes him swing a little bit so his nose bumps your chin. You're too stiff to laugh, but he does, "Sorry," his voice is raspy, "this looked cooler in my head."

You lean into him, dizzied, "Was this... did you plan for me to kiss you? When you got up there?"

"I've wanted to kiss you plenty of ways." Peter's admission is followed by a sigh. He presses a hand to your chest and nudges you back a step before he's dropping to his feet and advancing upon you once more, bumping you against the dresser as the picture frames rattle. Your fingers sneak under his mask at the back of his head so they can sink into his silky hair.

He probably kisses you a hundred more times after that. Every kiss you think might be the last, but then you feel a tug in your chest and go in for one more. An itch that no scratch can soothe.

Peter's mask starts to slip and you feel one of his hands leave your waist to fix it, but the warmth your fingers had snuggled into disappears and-

You keep your eyes screwed shut, "Peter." You gasp against his mouth. Your fingers twitch in his hair, finding no resistance.

"It's okay," he nudges your nose with his, still pressing kisses to the corner of your mouth, "it's okay."

"But-"

"Don't you wanna know if you were right?"

You squeak when his lips find the underside of your jaw, "I don't need- you don't need to-"

"You're always right," Peter interrupts you, kissing down your neck, "I was never fooling you. You're so smart, you know that?"

"Peter." You say his name with no real plans for it to do anything, letting your head fall back.

"Please." He says back. Urging.

You lift your head, heart hammering away, and meet the eyes of Peter Parker.

[olasketches]

So the fight is really over...my glorious four armed giant spider is gone. Yuji really was foreshadowing about the slime thingy heh. I'm so happy to see the trio back and together again like you tell me this a year ago this is what was going to happen and I'd just give you a maniacal laugh. But I still don't know how to feel about Sukuna's end like we all knew he was going to die and in perspective it does feels satisfying. Sukuna being ripped apart from Megumi and his little convo with Megumi...yeah dude really is walking contradiction. Always saying he's living to die but actually doesn't want to die. Indirectly answering Kashimo's question. But his end just seems...eh? Like at first Kenjaku's end seemed like that to me too but it made sense later on. Kenjaku came in silence and went like that but Sukuna he was never like Kenjaku or Mahito so his ending being parallel to Mahito didn't really sit right with me and i actually wanted him to get anything but a glorious death but this feels...stale somehow? Idk he's still the same untrue to himself. Wish we could get more of his thought process. Or maybe this was it to show Sukuna's denial became his defeat. I just hoped for more emotionally charged defeat of his..but it's GeGe story I'm happy they're telling it like they want to.

Also Uraume and Hakari was funny too they fought all this time bonded, praised and just dipped. Makes me think if they had a binding vow with Sukuna too? Sorry for all the yap and incoherence. I'm just feeling underwhelmed? Overwhelmed? what are your thoughts regarding this chapter and Suku's end?

"my glorious four armed giant spider is gone" took me out sksksksk he's really just a bug when you think about it lol.

anyway thank you for sending me your ask. I really liked reading your thoughts and how you called suku out for being contradictory and a hypocrite till the very end AS YOU SHOULD THANK YOU!! honestly, this fact alone makes the whole chapter all the more special to me but on this in a sec cause I'm guessing the reaction to his demise is quite... well I guess ppl are not really happy with it..??? I mean some of them probably are and by "some" I mean *cough, cough* the haters *cough, cough* but well... I wouldn't know cause ONE I'm actually (and maybe surprisingly) super pleased and satisfied with this chapter and TWO, I didn't go and check others reaction to it lol I'm planning to keep it that way for now. I'm really not a big fan of twt fandoms spaces in fact I can't stand them... too much negativity and toxicity *shudders*.

so my thoughts... to put it simply, I loved it more than loved it actually. and yeah yeah sure he turned into a slimy lil bug which probably put many people off but hey let's not forget sukuna was basically like a parasite possessing megumi's body, so it makes sense that once peeled off only curse-like residues would remain... but I can understand why some stans didn't like that part. I personally found funny but that's just me lol.

and yeah the final seemed quite underwhelming, but I think that's what makes it so good. I didn't want sukuna's death to be the most interesting thing about his character and well it's not. rather than having a big an "after life" moment like jogo, gojo or kashimo, he spent his last moments with the only person who cared about the human sukuna so stubbornly tried to burry inside him.

I actually found his conclusion to be quite beautiful and moving, cause instead of being looked down upon by yuuji as many stans thought would be the case, he was offered something else entirely. something no one ever gave him - kindness and love. yes, I'm using the "L" word here cause in the end that's what it was... yuuji showed sukuna the true value of love. he accepted him and ask him to live with him despite everything sukuna has put him through. despite all the chaos chaos and distraction he caused him, yuuji still accepted him. he not only showed sukuna genuine empathy and compassion but also recognised that sukuna is really... just like him. when yuuji looked into (blop) sukuna's eyes (my beloved) he could only see himself. he realised that under different circumstances, he could've turned out like sukuna if he didn't have his grandpa by his side. he realised that if he could have turned out like sukuna then sukuna could've turned out like him too, that if only sukuna had someone who loved him and guided him and accepted him, he most likely wouldn't have turned into a curse, which is another thing I loved and cry about in this chapter.

sukuna only saw himself as a curse :")). he acknowledged yuuji and finally called him by his full name but in the end he still only think of himself as a "curse" not as human, not even as a god or king of curses but only a curse :")).

the reason why I loved just how "underwhelming" his death felt like is because instead of framing and defining his entire character by his his final moments, gege made the rest of his moments in the manga stand out EVEN MORE. instead of having a moment of reflection and introspection in this chapter as well as in chapter 265 or 266... and oh well entire shinjiku showdown basically, his character started to trip and reveal just how contradictory he is. sukuna claimed he was satisfied with his life and doesn't care about dying, he also claimed he doesn't care about ideals and even despised them, he also claimed he doesn't feel anything and he doesn't need others to satisfy him and then you have all those small moments when you realise "wait, that is not right" and you look back and rethink everything. sukuna does feel and he NEEDS others to satisfy him, cause that's what his entire "philosophy" hinges on.

"Every human has a unique and fleeting taste... which makes devouring them a perfect way to pass time until death"

he DID get excited when maki became the first person to ever give him a role

This is a first. You're the only one who ever forced a role upon me. (while grinning like a maniac)

and then megumi lied his bs out in the open and revealed that sukuna was afraid of death too, despite believing otherwise

Even something like you fears death...

this only goes to show that sukuna convinced himself (and many other readers) that he is not human, that he is above that, that he doesn't care about the things they do... but if even "something like him" feared death, got excited to be given a role, praised and encouraged others for their talents and skills and connected to them in one way another only to "pass time" or knew about flowers and caught a crayfish then that means... he must be human too.

and even if sukuna and the rest of the world couldn't and didn't want to accept that, there was one person who did. someone sukuna hurt the most, someone who saw him at his worst and at his weakest. someone who in the end still decided to show him love, because he belived sukuna is still worthy of love, despite everyone and maybe even sukuna himself, believing that he no longer is worthy of such thing.

"Even if no one else will accept you... I'll live with you" "Itadori Yuuji... don't underestimate me. I'm... a "curse"!

[daresplaining]

opinions on the red fist saga? :0

Resoundingly negative, unfortunately. I actually only just read it, because I was having a rough time with it while the issues were coming out and so decided to put it off until I was in a better headspace for it (or until I saw a preview for an issue that excited me and gave me the motivation to catch up, which is what happened with next week's anthology issue).

As I said, I disliked this story very much, so if you aren't interested in hearing me rant (perfectly fine! I wouldn't blame you!), read no further. I really hope you liked it. I really don't want to get you down if you did. This whole run was just the epitome of Not For Me.

Ahem.

The "Red Fist Saga" is, in my opinion, a flimsy "Shadowland" knock-off, centered around the abrasive, moralizing religious zealot who has been inhabiting Matt Murdock's body for the past few years. Elektra Natchios, an incredibly complex character whom I love dearly, had her backstory savaged to remove its autonomy and complexity (that's a rant for another post...) and exists in this story as an accessory to this Matt look-alike and as a handy target of his moralizing (at one point he comes to the revelation that this recent journey she has been on has been worthwhile because it was all about God saving her from her wicked ways!!, at which point I may have blacked out from rage for a few seconds). Matt and Elektra GET MARRIED, and the implications of this massive shift in their relationship are not explored at all. And phew...the less said about Sam Chung's single scene, the better. As was true throughout Zdarsky's entire run, Matt speaks and thinks in this story like he is reading a prepared speech at all times, making grand-yet-hollow pronouncements about the nature of good and evil. He doesn't sound like a real person, but rather like a robot that has been fed a steady diet of religious texts, along with a few surface-level social/systemic reform concepts. His personality consists of being alternately sad, angry, and making lofty proclamations about "fighting evil in the service of God's plan", and I just have no emotional investment in that. I'm not Catholic (and neither, until recently, was Matt Murdock, making this whole thing profoundly weird).

There were some cool elements to this story. I'm a huge Stick fan and I'm thrilled that he is finally back from the dead after all these years. I love Stilt-Man. I love Speed Demon (for some real Speed Demon goodness, go read Superior Foes of Spider-Man, one of my favorite comics of all time). Foggy had a few good panels. I got to read Milla's name; always a treat. Kirsten didn't actually die. Mike was...mentioned (I've already griped about his death; I won't do it again here). The twist that Foggy and Stick were actually already dead was effective and very cool and I didn't see it coming at all, so I will give full credit for that. And I'm someone who genuinely does enjoy Hand shenanigans. I love that stuff when it's done well. But the degree to which I could not stand this new Matt and did not care what happened to him or what he was doing, plus the fact that I had seen all of these plot points executed already, and better, by previous Daredevil teams, meant that this story was just a protracted slog through painful writing, past scene after scene that could have been so much better in the hands of a different creative team or centered around a version of Matt Murdock who was actually a compelling protagonist.

[uniiiquehecrt]

Why is it a cosmic problem that the Asgardian bloodline will end with Thor? Asgard is no more - what we have is a nonmagical place on Earth where Asgardians live. When Asgard doesn't exist, who cares that there will be no heirs. The current ruler is someone to whom King Thor just gave the rulership. That's how every ruler will be made now - anyone the current ruler gives it to. Or maybe they start holding elections. Make it democratic.

They don't need heirs now. And Thor will die alone in a ditch. It doesn't matter anymore. Taika has made it so that everything in Thor's world is insignificant now. But this is a happy ending.

I... genuinely can't entirely tell if you're being sarcastic, nonny, or if this is a genuine question that perhaps I may be misreading... (and if I have, do feel free to send a follow up and correct me)

but there's quite a many problem with the royal bloodline ending with Thor from an in-universe standpoint, just as well as the trajectory of Asgard's fate from Ragnarok and Endgame onward is an insult to the worldbuilding of Earth-199999's Asgard and the Nine Realms.

There's a couple of different ways you could slice my statement and I would still argue that what I've said can be seen as true. But I'll go through the wide range of elements in your ask to best illustrate the broader strokes of my point.

but TL;DR:

Ultimately you answered your own question, and that's the best way to boil down the travesty of it all:

Q: Why is it a cosmic problem that the Asgardian bloodline will end with Thor? A: Taika has made it so that everything in Thor's world is insignificant now.

Not only this, but Thor is the lastoline of the royal family. Before which, there only existed himself, and his father, Odin. He is the last of a subspecies of alien on par with other massively powerful aliens like Titans and I would wager, potentially even more mortal Celestials like Ego. He's a being who can generate storms just because he's miffed. Once Thor is dead and gone, there will NEVER be an Asgardian who is more than just your usual 'super-strength, super-speed, super-endurance' humanoid looking alien. There will NEVER be an Asgardian with the ability to summons storms and have lightning flow through his veins.

Hela had dominion over life and death, Thor is effectively a living, breathing, walking, talking tempest, Odin can be inferred to have some kind of 'order' seeking affinity. Who knows about MCU Bor and Buri. They are INCREDIBLY ancient, and powerful beings. If MCU Asgardians are to MCU humans what D&D elves are to D&D humans, then Thor is to Asgardians what an eladrin elf is to normal elves.

And we are watching – have already watched, even, — that incredibly powerful, incredible RARE sub-species of asgardian effectively be driven to extinction.

Just think about that for a second.

(the rest has been put under a cut because this answer got long, and for that I apologize ... mostly.)

Asgard is no more - what we have is a nonmagical place on Earth where Asgardians live.

Yes. This. This is quite actually the crux of the problem of this choice. The most beautiful and compelling aspect of the MCU in Phase 1 in particular is the prospect of an alternative universe out there where, to quote Jane Foster, "magic is just science that hasn't been explained yet". A world where superheroes truly can exist and aren't cartoonishly corny as superhoes used to be depicted... I'll say pre!Raimi Spider-Man era. (Though.. the Goblin's costume is still pretty goofy.)

What made Thor stand out as an individual hero within the Avengers (both the team, and the 2012 feature), and what made him so compelling to quite a many fans new, old, or casual, was that Thor is magical. He comes from a place where magic and science are the same thing. His whole world is ethereal and timeless, it's vast and expansive, and because it's inspired by real world norse mythology — of which is itself a rich and fascinating study in and of itself — there are a thousand different directions he could be taken.

I may be speaking partly for myself, but he also further ropes in a fantasy-centric audience such as myself who largely enjoy high-fantasy, medieval inspirations, tales of chivalry, hope, love, adventure, magic, timeless knights and princes — Dark World in particular has him acting quite a bit like your typical idea of a chivalrious, regal, stately prince or honorable knight who is virtuous and kind, and who protects those who can't protect themselves.

And that's just a single aspect of what made him so unique. What made him so unbelievably lovely. Thor is lovely, and Thor is magical. His family, friends, world, and people are magical.

But as of RAGNAROK, the realm he hails from was destroyed before our eyes before we got to truly know anything about it.

As of ENDGAME and LOVE AND THUNDER, the people and culture of asgard that remain has been so watered down that they dared to make New Asgard a tourist attraction in some rinky-dink nowhere backwater coastal town no different than Puente Antiguo, New Mexico where Thor first crash-landed in the first film.

Asgard used to be on par with, if not even more intriguing and full of mystery, than Wakanda, the earthen monarchy. Now it's a tourist trap that ... for some reason has "infinity gauntlet" ice cream in the heart of the town of a people devastated by Thanos twice.

The current ruler is someone to whom King Thor just gave the rulership. That's how every ruler will be made now [...] They don't need heirs now.

Potentially unpopular opinion (?) but I have so many issues with the decision to give Lady Valkyrie Thor's birthright that it could take an entire 10 paragraph essay for me to fully delve into all of the issues.

In short:

To say Valkyrie had a character beyond "traumatized alcoholic with a chip on her shoulder" is ... generous at best. That's not a diss, that is entirely factual. I could not tell you what her Want vs. Need is, or her character goal, or her motivations, or why she bothered to suddenly help Thor (re: lack of motivations) because she never took any action with any real agency in RAGNAROK that wasn't spurred on by Loki. ....Off screen.

I also don't think that the woman who had spent over 1,500 years MINIMUM running away from her home and her people, festering bitterness, spite and hatred towards the royal line, and who never actually respected Thor in the first place because of who his father is should have been honored the title of King. She did not deserve that. Both in general, and as a character who frankly just did not get enough screentime to really be SHOWN caring for her people, atoning for her absence and otherwise supporting, caring for, and working alongside Thor. Had she actually been shown doing any of the above in a substantial amount of screentime, perhaps then I might have felt differently, as if she earned the position more than Thor who has spent 2 solo movies (not counting RAGNAROK) earning his place as a future leader. This is likewise not entirely counting his O.S. actions of maintaining peace under his authority between Avengers and Dark World, and his personal search for the Infinity Stones post!Age of Ultron.

Valkyrie is powerful, yes, but she is ultimately still NOT an Asgardian Royal. And to your point about "this is how every ruler will be made now" — Heimdal aside, NO OTHER ASGARDIANS have special powers. It is EXCLUSIVE to Odin's bloodline. (Frigga is a practicing witch and these are two incredibly different things, since Loki was taught his magic, not born with it.) This is a GLARING worldbuilding issue further highlighted down below, but the tl;dr of it is: the only reason why Earth has been largely untouched and the Nine Realms kept safe in isolation despite the constant going-ons of the other galaxies in the universe is BECAUSE of the royal line. Odin isn't kidding around when he says he (and his bloodline) are protectors of the Nine Realms. Valkyrie is most certainly able to try, but at the end of the day she's NEVER going to be able to get through very many galactic battles without ultimately calling on Thor for assistance at the end of the day. And when her time is up? Or when Thor is finally dead and gone? There goes your ace in the hole.

But more than that, thinking about it semi-realistically from a worldbuilding perspective:

It's quite literally a cosmic problem in that there is now a galactic power imbalance. MCU!Thor comes from a version of Marvel's world where the there aren't literal gods, but there are aliens. Tons of aliens. All with varying powers and proportions and what-have-you-not. More specifically: power humanoid aliens from a realm called Asgard, that in Earth-199999 inspired the entirety of the Norse mythos of the viking age.

These aliens, governed by the ruling monarch of the realm eternal, also govern over 8 additional realms— which for all we know could range from a territory that is a singular planet (vanaheim, asgard), to potentially an entire solar system (earth and its solar system). BOTH options nine times over marks an absolutely incredible empire for a singular species of alien to claim complete control and territory over.

But they were not only able to obtain this territory but continue to safeguard it under Asgardian protection because the royal family is gifted incredible power (Thor, for instance, can change the atmosphere out of sheer mindless emotion not to mention conscious thought), and have secured and/or subdued multiple infinity stones throughout the millenia (the aether/reality stone, the tesseract/mind stone, thor has also personally endured a power stone directly to the temple, for instance), and have maintained peace for a MINIMUM of a thousand years beneath Odin's reign as All-Father, Protector of the Nine Realms.

So, if the royal family governs its own pocket dimension planet, AND maintains peace and prosperity by personally safeguarding the territories itself and of eight additional realms, all with a variety of other alien species, ecosystems, solar systems, galactic quadrants, etc. ...Who are also KNOWN to be fierce and proud warriors who have likewise safeguarded ancient and powerful alien relics the likes of the tesseract/mind stone for hundreds if not thousands of years — and you take this long-lived warrior race out of their own equation...?

We're talking potential outbreaks of a new age of war the likes of those talked about in Thor (2011), in-fighting amongst the Nine Realms, invasions from outside realms of conquesting species, so on and so forth. Without Asgard and specifically a Royal Asgardian at the seat of power to maintain the balance of what has been built, (and i specify a ROYAL asgardian, aka Thor's line, because his bloodline is the only asgardian bloodline with the raw power to maintain and preserve everything long-term), well, you've effectively started a cosmic power vacuum — even if the MCU likely will never bother to explore the consequences of it.

Slight sidebar (albeit still mostly related), but:

Quite frankly one of the funniest aspects of Thor's relationships with Nick Fury and the humans that are equally as worked up about aliens existing, pointing their fingers at Thor as an example of their right to be wary (and eventually Loki and the Chutari, though those are more earned) is that they are effectively minimum-wage fast-food employees bad-mouthing he who is essentially the up-and-coming Chairman of the metaphorical "Yggdrasil's Nine Realms Fast Food Chain" without realizing who he actually is.

(Which, viewing through that lens makes the Avengers Nick Fury scene and the Tony Stark Age of Ultron scene even more hilarious despite the eventual coming of Thanos, because Thor, bless him, doesn't take ...much... offense to it until the bad-blood becomes over-bloated and geared towards the violent. RE: "My people want nothing but peace with your planet." / "Your work with the tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is a signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.")

For all of the drama of MCU Phases 1-3, realistically speaking, Midgard is low enough on the hierarchy of Asgard's protected territories that not only would it not be targeted first by Asgard's enemies (or other conquesting alien species), but even if it WAS to be targeted, or if Asgard was in its own fit of warfare ... Earth wouldn't even know it in the first place because THAT is how good at their jobs the Asgardians are. Earth, despite being SURROUNDED by alien activity and having even been in possession of multiple infinity stones at a time throughout history, not ONCE realized that (other) aliens existed out there... during the entirety of the 1,000-some years of peace that Odin so often talked about.

[domesticated-whores]

list of reasons why i kin angel dust

absolutely nobody asked or cares, and it absolutely goes into headcanon & projecting territory, but it's my void and i can scream into it how i please, so--

also, tiny note, i am loose and casual with kinning. i'm just saying heavily relate to the point that i can easily see myself parallel that character.

gay femboy supremacy 💅💅

nice tits (his are fluff, i'm transmasc and am too fem to care to go into debt over physical transition... either way, we got soft titties)

wearing pleasers ✨️exclusively✨️ (i also wear demonias, but they're owned by pleasers)

earlier iterations of him were more genderfluid but he's now canonly a cis man, i use to think i was more genderfluid due to being super fem (presenting) sometimes and being just meh about my body but am now confident that i'm just a really genderqueer trans dude.

doesn't overly mind fem language, *sometimes* intentionally uses it. refers to self decently androgynously (alternating between "fem" and "masc" shit)

pet mama 💕

my cats are my babies, i'd die and kill for them, genuinely one of the only lights in my life

animal lover in general, honestly!! babes, they're so fucking cute!!

i also prefer fucking ugly/weird animals like farm animals, trash animals (possums, raccoons, etc), some reptiles, and spiders

spiders are my very favorite creatures, so yeah i fw the spider character

overworked at a shitty job that there's no real way out of

like, i didn't sell my soul ig but i live in a small area and don't drive, and my cats need food and a roof over their little baby noggins, so mama needs a job no matter the cost

also, TOXIC fucking work environment. not comparable to workplace abuse, but FUCK--

and i ✨️ain't doing that shit sober✨️ bbgirl, i DRINK because of that place.

((that's a half-truth, i don't go TO work drunk because i am not subtle, but the instant i'm out and have any money--))

i also work A LOT, honestly. icky, nasty, 'sgusting.

✨️inferiority complex and heavy masking✨️

feet are weird, i especially hate my own

don't touch my feet, don't look at my feet, if anyone's around imma be in socks or smth, feet are a hard no for me

let's 👏 talk 👏 kink 👏

into bdsm and generally kinky shit

✨️ SUPER sex positive ✨️

growing collection of ✨️toys✨️ that i'm becoming increasingly proud of

it's a part of life, so i really don't see any taboo in fucking??

willing to try almost ANYTHING if i stand to gain from it or just to see if i'm into it

✨️ switch ✨️

PRAISE ME

... or, alternatively DEGRADE ME

on the regular, i just want to feel safe and loved and lowkey spoiled--

but i also fuck HARD with the spicy stuff

honestly, hardcore things are more professional than intimate

((i don't do sw, but i am into kink in a very nerdy, special interest, academic type of way... fuck me so i can write an essay about the dynamics at play, daddy~!))

on that note,, ✨️ trauma ✨️

specifically, sa :)

sa that really changes how you see and use sex, and how you outwardly PRETEND to see and use sex

being manipulated by someone you cared about in some way

((luckily, mine was short-lived... only the aftermath was long-lasting))

there's also family trauma :)

the idea of going no contact--

i kin people that are no/low contact because FUCK~ it's a lovely concept. i personally can't for... reasons... but if i could

will make the cheap-shot sex joke

i vape only the fruitiest bullshit flavors and, like, rip angel you would have loved this straw-blueberry vape with this funky abstract art on it bby

that's just, like, off the top of my head. idk, idk. he's literally me. not on everything, but he's the character i've related to the hardest in a HOT SECOND.

also, love the fact that all of this is true but also valentino is my fucking all time favorite character and my pfp. like, i look at angel and am hit with most deep and profound sense of "this is a character a that i relate to and see myself in to an insane degree" and then i turn around and see his fucking abuser and, with my FULL fucking chest go "scrumbly wittle bpd princess man 💕, i wuvs him 💕, i couldn't fix him but i could break him and mold him into my little disaster housewife 💕" like a fucking insane person. it's fine, it's fine, their literally cartoons!! i'm delulu about drawings!! it's okay!!

[emperorbubblegum]

This is gonna be another long-ish spoiler post for F/SR, so don't click if you haven't learned Rider's True Name yet

Also slight spoilers for Fate/Extra CCC Foxtail and maybe Shimousa but those are old enough that I doubt people care

I really need to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't know much about Fate play Samurai Remnant. I feel like most of us where able to guess a lot of the new Servants based off connections they had to pre-established ones. Rider's probably one of two exceptions because her reveal is supposed to be this huge "what the fuck" moment - and it is, but I feel like that mostly hinges on the player knowing Fate's version of Minomoto-no-Raikou.

Ushi Gozen has been teased for years. Raikou's always been one of the many Servants that mentions how her Berserker Saint Graph isn't the only one we might aee of her (edit 1: I didn't play FGO when it first released so I didn't know this, but apparently Ushi actually shows up in the same event Raikou's introduced in). In Foxtail, we see her used as a prarallel to Suzuka, since both have connections to Oni. The most prominent tease is in Shimousa, where we actually see Ushi Gozen appear, but with the same design as Raikou for budget reasons I guess (edit 2: No we don't, that's just Raikou, but she has the Rider class so I misremembered her there as Ushi Gozen). And now she's actually here! She gets her own game! And she looks...

Girl what the fuck happened to you

I really like both of her designs to be honest. She's one of the few Servants to be wearing actual samurai armor, and she's the first to wear the helmet too I'm pretty sure. Then after Saber kicks the shit out of her, the armor falls apart and we see that she's in a much worse state than any of us expected. Her hair's cut short, her eyes are dead with noticeable bags, her skin's paler than it was before, and she barely looks like she's eaten anything. Those last two could also be said about Raikou (Raita for the love of god learn to draw human women properly) but on Rider they're noticeably worse. Also she seems crazier than her Berserker form, albeit a different kind of crazy.

When we fight her the second time in Chapter 5, she shows up with these awesome robot-like spider legs reminiscent of what Ushi-oni are usually described with. She doesn't look human because her humanity was seemingly beaten out of her. Raikou tends to suffer from what I like to call "the Altera Problem", where if used right she can be a really genuine and badass character, but 90% of the time she's used for jokes and to get people's dicks hard. However in things like Foxtail, or Shimousa (which is even more apparent in the manga), or Heian-Kyo we get to see her for how she really is, which is A) terrifying and B) a hero worthy of going down as one of humanity's best. Rider is only that first one. No jokes, no big tits, just pure unadulturated "you're gonna die" energy.

Rider's the first Servant we ever see in Samurai Remnant. She's the first one Iori encounters, leveling his house in the prologue and acting as the tutorial boss to show the player "hey you can't fucking take these guys on", and in the teaser trailer (which shows that scene) she's one of three Servants who are actually shown to us - the other two being SR's Saber and everyone's favorite bisexual dimension hopper, Musashi. I could write a whole other post about Shousetsu and Iori (maybe I will who knows) but Rider follows their dynamic. She's a strong parallel to Saber. Fuck she basically is Saber if they didn't have people like Ototachibana-Hime and Iori to keep them grounded.

All of the new Servants are super cool (with the exception of Caster that bitch ass nerd), but I think Rider's possibly the coolest. I mean, I've been wanting Samson since I got into Fate and you haven't seen me make any real posts about him because Minamoto-no-Raikou, one of my least favorite Servants, has got me in a vicegrip. I don't know if she's my favorite, but I'll definitely be saving for if she ever comes into FGO

[pb-dot]

Film Friday: The First Omen

As anyone who's been hanging around philosophers for a long enough amount of time, it's hard to say anything categorical and true. Try to find a way to define chair that contains all chairs and exclude all non-chairs, to quote the most famous example. So, when I say that I don't really like horror sequels or prequels, it seems like I put out a call for the universe to humble me. If all my humble pie gets served in the form of movies like The First Omen, though, I will certainly not complain. Also beware that some spoiler talk is inevitable in describing why this movie kicks so much ass, so if you want the short version: Absolutely SPECTACULAR visuals and genuine creeping dread makes this movie so damn good it's almost stupid. Watch it first chance you get!

The First Omen follows the story of Margaret, a young American women well on the way to become a nun when she moves to Italy and finds herself smack-dab in an evil conspiracy to bring about the Antichrist by ways of profane human husbandry. The conspiracy is centered around, or at least Margaret believes it to be centered around, a troubled teen girl in the care of her convent, but as the sheer scope of the conspiracy becomes clear to her, Margaret realizes the real locus of the conspiracy is much closer to home.

The twist that this is less of a The Omen as it is a Rosemary's Baby take is perhaps not the single most shocking one to people who's seen their share of twist-laden media, but honestly, I respect it. The twist isn't a shocking swerve as much as it is a confirmation of an idea that has been incepted in your brain and has been brewing for about two acts at this point. It's all in the visuals, how Margaret finds herself in these immaculate artful shots, that in addition to being cool as hell, also tells us she's living under tightly managed control. Then there's the more obvious symbolism, like her waking up after a rare night of libations in a composition that evokes a spider's web where she is caught in the middle, or her kneeling in prayer surrounded by candles that appear to float in the air. It looks gorgeous, and really helps with the oppressive atmosphere.

Another twist I really enjoyed was the movie's take on what a satanic conspiracy would look like. In most of these Satanic Panic-type stories, these cults are made up whole cloth of a category of person I don't really believe to exist. It's just a big ask to presuppose there exists large, organized groups of people who believe in Christianity, or at least the largely apocryphal mythology around modern Western Christianity, but deciding to throw their lot behind God's Comparable But Fundamentally Lesser opponent, Satan, often for ill explained reasons. That seems nonsenical to me, not only because almost all the aesthetics of this quote-unquote satanism is just Catholicism But Spooky (i.e Catholicism,) but because it seems like such a hard sell. Why, after all, accept that mainstream ideas about God and Satan when there's so many spicy heresies and strains of theological thought that one could easily adopt into it instead. Gnosticism alone could fuel a generation of fun new religious horror, but I guess that's too spicy for Hollywood.

The First Omen solves this quite elegantly by making the very spicy but ultimately true observation that a satanic conspiracy would be most likely to arise from the already religious, and perhaps even from the Catholic Church itself. As such, this conspiracy is chock-full of creepy nuns and shady priests, but in the way these things often are creepy or shady in real life, instead of the "profaning of the holy" business that's usually the draw. It's not so much that they worship Satan as they are scared as shit of the rising secularism in society and wants to bring about the ultimate wrestling heel to scare people back into the arms of the church. Would it work like that? Perhaps, or perhaps these are theological accelerationists seeking to push the matter of Judgement Day a skootch, who am I to say. Either way, their goals of bringing about the son of the devil has not been going too well, as getting a woman born of demonic cuckoldry pregnant with the devil's spawn to give birth on the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year is already difficult enough, and these robe-wearing fuckos, being good, proper, God-Fearing satanist conspirators, needs the child to be male. Can't have a Girl antichrist running around after all. It's not proper.

Putting aside the dark hilarity of this incredibly elaborate conspiracy being stymied by gender roles for god knows how long, it's also quietly brilliant to me how this take on the Satanic Conspiracy also ties in so well with the topic of pregnancy and agency that the movie has set its mind to. Margaret isn't important to the conspiracy outside of her capability of giving birth, to the degree that the reason she makes it out with the antichrist's fraternal twin sister after the birth is because the conspirators don't care enough to confirm the kill when leaving her for dead in a burning building, allowing a last-minute rescue by Margaret's support network. It sets up a quite compelling case for a sequel in my mind, if nothing else because I deeply desire to know what implications there being two living beings technically qualifying for the position of Antichrist.

Ultimately, I believe The First Omen to be the best kind of prequel. It is much more concerned with telling a good story than with justifying every little story beat with the metatext of the original, and as such expands the setting universe in interesting ways. Granted, there is the nod to the gruesome opening scene of the original in an early scare, and name-dropping Margaret's son with the original's soundtrack does happen as is mandated by tradition, but those were the only nods to the original I caught personally. I do feel a slight tremble of trepidation when hoping for a sequel though, as The First Omen feels very lightning in a bottle, and it might be tricky following up on it without devolving into fanservice and/or nonsense. I suppose we will just have to see.

[pieofdeath]

ok my liveblog of the first spiderverse movie below the cut because its fuck off long. its 6 pages on google docs. for people who don't wanna read that- I had a very good time and I thoroughly enjoyed it, I'm gonna queue up the second one here shortly. i legitimately cried several times.

Intro fucking slaps

Miles’ dad using the cop sirens and car speaker to make miles say ily back. I hate that i find this incredibly funny.

ARE THOSE NIKES. DID SONY GET THE RIGHTS FOR NIKES.

MIDDLE SCHOOL. Oh my god. Middle school. Hes a kid. Hes at most 14. Oh my god.

DOC OCK <3

GWEN SPOTTED!!!!!

Fisk family foundation. Is this the time i should mention my extent of spiderman knowledge comes from my faefriend (very little they just show off the cool suits) and the snapcube fandub.

Uncle aaron rules and i think hes gonna die

Alchemax. Wasnt that the name on the spider from the intro. 

I THINK I GET IT NOW

SPIDER IN THE CEILING SPOTTED

This movie is so pretty btw i know everybody says that but its simply true. It is. Its really pretty.

The graffiti slaps

I've switched to typing these on my phone so I don't have to keep pausing

SPIDER BITE

THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER. INCREDIBLE TRANSITION. LOVE HOW MILES BARELY CARED AND JUST SLAPPED THE SPIDER 

Yeah those are actual Nikes 

THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD POST SPIDERMAN BEING REPRESENTED AS COMIC BUBBLES

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS GENIUS.

Why doesn't she want people to know her name is Gwen? Why is she lying about being south African 😭

gwanda. Wanda. 

THE SHOULDER TOUCH. MILES YOU ARE SO SILLY 

“I don't think you know what puberty is”

STICKY SPIDER BOY.

SHE FULL THREW HIM HOLY CRAP

“No one saw” literally everyone saw

the double take for the super tall girl. that's incredibly realistic/gen I think this movie is awesome 

OUT LOUD BARK-LAUGHED AT “play dumb.” “Who's Morales” “NOT THAT DUMB.”

Idiot spider smashing into windows. obsessed with him.

the zoom in on the eyes. this art style is incredible 

THE INCREDIBLY SICK LAND AFTER HE GOT HIT BY THE CAR!!!

page break 1

“It's like. boring how normal this spider is.” and it immediately glitching in and out. INCREDIBLE.

The SPIDER SENSE. HOLY SHIT. 

THE GIANT LOOK OUT ON THE WINDOW.

SPIDERMANNNNN

“Brooklyn is not zoned for that” 😭

The little squiggles as Peter RealizesTM

who the fuck is purple guy genuinely 

MILES RECORDING THE FIGHT I LOVE HIM

KINGPIN 💖

I genuinely don't have words for how fucking incredible that was

“Can't you get up?” “Yeah, yeah I always get up.” Hm I don't think that's gonna be true for much longer

Is spiderman blonde I thought he was a brunette 

DID HE JUST FUCKING KILL SPIDER-MAN!!!

Ok purple guy is cool as hell

HE IMMEDIATELY RAN HOME. I'm going to cry. 

This kid is 14. I'm going. 

SO YES HE LEGITIMATELY DIED.

STAN'S COLLECTIBLES. HI MR LEE. AUGJDJAKAKC…. 😭 (these r agonized noises)

“I'm going to miss him.” EUFHFJSKAK

We were friends, you know.” SURIEJSKAKDUFUA

“It always fits. Eventually.” EURUFJDKAKDJCJK.

you can't fucking do this to me. 

This is just a kid with a party city suit that doesn't fit and untied shoes.

THE AAAAAAA AS HE FALLS

oh shit he broke the drive thingy

The suit still has the fucking tag on it.

EVERYTHING AROUND PETER'S GRAVE.

“I'm sorry Mr. Parker.” AUDJFJDJDJAK…..

LIGHTNING POWERS

PETERRRRRR THE PETER IVE SEEN

THE INTRO DEFINITELY HAD OFF BRAND COCA COLA AND THIS ONE HAS LEGITIMATE COKE

HOLY SHITTTTT

he's divorced and aunt may is dead D:

Crying in the shower in the spiderman suit with a piece of pizza on the tub rim I think this is the most spiderman img ever

“I'm pretty sure I broke her heart”

Nick Kroll and John Mulaney “hi, hello” but they're super old 😭

YEAH OK OK IT WAS KOCA SODA. 

“I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension”

“With great power comes great-” “Don't you DARE finish that sentence”

Miles crouching on the side of the wall

page break 2

ITS THE MEME IMG YAAAY

CLACKITY CLACKITY CLACKITY-

MILES CAN TURN INVISIBLE 

HER INSANE DESKTOP

HES JUST TAKING THE WHOLE COMPUTER!!!

GWEN ALCHEMAX INTERN

“let me tell you the good news. We don't need the monitor.” 😭

BAGEL! guy!!!!!

GWENNNNNNNNN

Ok I paused during the swinging scene to go get some food and get dressed and then came back

It was oatmeal btw

OHHH THIS IS NOT THE GWEN HERE

The fact that all of the intro shots are the same is very fun to me

Peters her best friend AWWW

OH IT IS THE GWEN HERE!!!

I THOUGHT IT WAS!! BECAUSE SHE WAS WEIRD ABOUT HIS STICKY POWERS

AND SHE TIME TRAVELED TOO… SO COOL

“I like your haircut.” “You don't get to like my haircut.”

“How many more spider people are there?” “Save it for comic-con” “what's comic-con”

Every time we cut to kingpin I lose it 

AW VANESSA AND RICHARD :(

why is this guy blue btw they haven't addressed it at allllll 

Fascinated by Gwen’s universe where Peter Parker isn't spiderman.

AWW PETER AWAKE IN THE BACKSEAT 

AUNT MAYYYYYY

I'm literally obsessed with aunt may 

ALL THE DIFFERENT SPIDERSUITS!!!!!

my faefriend has told me about all these I think. like a good chunk of these I recognize. No idea what they're called or what they do but.

THE IMG OF MILES LOOKING UP AT THE SPIDERSUIT.

THE NAME TAGS FROM THE INTROSSSS

SPIDEY SENSES

SPIDER NOIR HEHEHEHAHAUD

PENI AND HER FUNKY LITTLE MECH!

HIIIIIII SPIDERHAMMNMM!!!!!

LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERNOIR. 

the dichotomy between noir peni and ham is so so funny

Noir is so cool

Augh… Them talking about how he isn't ready when he's right there…

HIS DAD CALLING HIS UNCLE… 

Why is he writing a letter in marker

Fucking prowler. looks so cool

OH SHIT PROWLER IS UNCLE AARON!?!?!

page break 3

NO LONGER WORRIED ABOUT HIS SAFETY HOLY SHIT

DID HE BRING HIM TO THE TUNNEL WITH THE INTENT OF SPIDERMAN?!

Uncle Aaron HAS to know that it's Miles

This is so fucked

Peni doing her fun thing!

Noir trying to identify colors!

Does that mean noir can only see grayscale. that's hilarious.

I love the different art styles

Aunt may like please let's not fight in my house

“We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance” noir I'm obsessed with you

Did ham just crack a plate over his own head

I love that he can turn invisible that's so cool 

Especially when he keeps flickering in and out when he's scared. Miles my beloved 

OH HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MILES OH THANK GOD

I mean this is really really sad but also good because it means he isn't knowingly  homicidal towards his nephew 

HOLY SHIT. 

KINGPIN SHOOTING UNCLE AARON BECAUSE HE DIDNT KILL MILES

I'm going to sob on the fucking floor

HIS DAD 

HIM TURNING INVISIBLE BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO FACE HIS DAD AIGHSJDKA…

HIS INVISIBLE POWERS ARE LITERALLY THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING IN THE WORLD

HE THINKS MILES KILLED HIS UNCLE FUCKKKKKKKK

THEM NAMING ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THEY WATCHED DIE. AUDJFJCJSKAF…

IM LEGITIMATELY TEARIN UP GANG FUCK THIS MOVIEEEE

if you can't tell I love it

“Miles, the hardest thing about this job is… you can't always save everybody.” SAID BY A LITTLE CARTOON PIG VOICED BY JOHN MULANEY. 

ALL OF THEM CRAMMED ON THE CEILING OF MILES DORM HOLY SHIT 

Noir is really funny to look at in the light

I don't think noir is in the second one which is 😭

The relationship between Miles and his Dad is literally going to make me cry

THE LIGHTNING CRACKLING IN HIS EYES AND THEN HIM BURSTING THROUGH THE WEBS AND THE PATTERN ON HIS SKIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Aunt May waiting for Miles in the basement!!!! 

HIS EYES LINING UP WITH THE SPIDERMAN SUIT WHEN THEY HADN'T BEFORE.

The what's up danger scene really is that fucking incredible. oh my god. I got chills.

He spray painted his suit and the spider is drippy!!! I'm literally about to go feral.

The hoodie and jacket and Nikes and shorts still over the suit. 

The WOOOOO as he goes up the place he fell before.

The incredible shot of him stationary mid-air that I think was the poster

This is literally the coolest movie ever

page break 4

HIS COMIC JOINING THE PILE.

THEM DRESSED AS WAITERS DJDJDJJAJAJC

PETER AND MJ…

DRAMATIC CUT TO NOIR HOLDING A PLATTER AND GWEN SO GODDAMN TIRED

MJ is so pretty in this art style btw. 

The Doc Ock tentacles creeping in through the ceiling right behind Peter…

MILESSSS

“I love you I'm so proud of you!” AUDHFJDJAJAJDK!!!!

MILES MAKING PETER RE-EVALUATE IF HE WANTS KIDS…

NEW YORK BREAKING APART

Noirs fight is SO COOL. Putting the hat on the guy and then punching him in the face.

sorry I love film noir as an aesthetic and spider noir is so cool

PENI V SCORPION 

THE FUCKING ANVIL. 

FUCK THEM UP HAM!!!!!

PENI HITTING THE GUY WITH A ROBOT ARM AND IT BRIEFLY FLICKERING TO HER ART STYLE!!!!

PENI’S ROBOT FRIEND D:

DOC OCK GETTING HIT BY A DAMN TRUCK

obsessed with Peni and Noir's friendship.

NOIR SAID HE LOVES THEM

HE TOOK THE RUBIX CUBE

EVERYTHING FLICKERING BLACK/WHITE WHEN NOIR ENTERS

HAM SAYING “THATS ALL FOLKS” AND PETER ASKING IF HE WAS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SAY THAT 😭

GWEN AND MILES FRIENDSSSS

MILES HOLDING ONTO PETER'S SUIT AND DROPPING HIM IN. 

“It's a leap of faith.” FUCK YOU

“Not bad, kid.” FUCK YOU 

Miles taking kingskins gun and saying “that's cheating” 😭

VANESSA AND RICHARD LEAVING THE SAME WAY THEY DID IN THE FLASHBACK BECAUSE KINGSKIN WAS DOING THE SAME DAMN THING. FUCK ME DUDE.

MILES DAD IS WATCHING

THE ENTIRE FUCKING BRIDGE. 

This is the coolest fight scene ever btw

HE ELETROCUTED KINGSKIN WITH THE FUCKING SHOULDER TOUCH

the fact that the interconnected universes look like a spider's web. fuck dude.

HAMS ANVIL

THE BUILDING FUCKING EXPLODED. IS MILES’ DAD OK!!!

IS HE FUCKING OKAY!!!

OK THANK GOD HE'S ALIVE

HIS DAD OFFERING TO PUT UP SOME OF HIS ART AT THE POLICE STATION

C-MOBILE 😭

THE HUG!!!!!!!

page break 5

IM FULLY CRYIN BTW.

KINGSKIN HELD UP BY THE WEB. “FROM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN.”

THE UNCLE AARON ART. FUCKING HELL DUDE.

Omg miles finally has friends

PENI'S ROBOT FRIEND!!!

NOIR SOLVED THE CUBE!!!! I proud of him

PETER GOING TO SEE MJ WITH FLOWERS…

GWEN CALLING OUT TO MILES ACROSS DIMENSIONS!!!!

THE SPRAY PAINT SPIDER

the credits are fucking INCREDIBLE

the different art styles I'm going to scream

NOIR SHOWING OFF THE CUBE. 

Did that just say Nicholas Cage.

Who the fuck is voiced by Nick Cage.

NOIR?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOIR HOLD THE FUCK ON.

N O I R?!?!

Incredible movie.

“That person who helps others simple because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero. -Stan Lee” FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW DUDE

Literally crying again over that.

Ok yeah that was a really good movie. I'm gonna start the second one in a bit. I think I need some recovery time 😭

Wait I skipped to the end to see if there was an after credits scene and. Ok obsessed with Spidey-Bells. 😭😭😭

MIGUELLLLLL I KNOW THIS GUYYYYYYY 

THE SPIDERMAN SCENE. THE POINTING SCENE.

IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

INCREDIBLE AFTER CREDITS SCENE.

end of liveblog! as you can see I really fucking liked it akjdfskajf I had to put the pagebreaks in otherwise tumblr got mad about like. 4096 characters per text block limit? ok wild. it provides checkpoints which I think is nice. onto the second movie.

[theallenshorefangirl]

Savior of Lost Hope Chapter 4

@voidwritesstuff

(Chapter warning blood,guns,abuse, and true tragedy in this chapter,readers beware)

As the group progressed through the maze,they all finally escaped that awful thing. “I thought that maze was never gonna end.” Lucas said out of breath as he shot the last inkblot in the area.”Tell me about it.”Virginia stopped and brushed gravel dust off her dress.”Come on, the entrance to the mansion is up ahead!”

Rosemary's wings switched from organic to a more radio wave frequency.”Careful though the Rainbow chemical,it must be strong in there.” Max was about to kick the door open but it opens on its own.”Woah this place is huge!” Virginia runs past the group and spins at the center of the room.Her fancy Victorian style ghostly dress swishes and sways on the ground.”Spider Lilies to Radio Waves do you read me,is everything ok,over” it was Lazaro,Jerico's brother.”I read you loud and clear Spider Lilies.” Rosemary spoke softly into the radio.”Making sure this worked Over.” “Roger that.Over” Lucas chimed in.They all scattered the whole basement and first floor of the place.It was huge.”We could be lost for hours,and still couldn't find them.” Virginia stopped to catch her breath.

They heard clicking and scraping of something strange hitting the floor,which caused a fear to rise in the small group.They turned around and could see from the top of the stairs a yellowed eyed figure trying to fly,but they all could see his wings were dripping hot asphalt and they all went to go after him but he quickly disappeared.”Was that Allen?” Max huffed.”Definitely him.” Rosemary chimed in.”Well looks like our Icarus was trying to fly to either the skyroof or what looks like a bedroom on the third floor?” Virginia found a blueprint mockup of the house.”Let's go Desmond could be in there too!” They all raced to the third floor and searched the rooms.The radio went off again.

”Dragon's Breath to Tango Flash,Do you copy?” It was Jerico this time.”Copy,something wrong over on your side?” Lucas sounded genuinely worried.”Well I just wanted to make sure you're ok…seen anyone yet?” Lucas took a sigh of relief.”Yeah actually we saw what we are assuming was Allen.” “That's good,I know a certain someone would be happy to hear that news.” Jerico took a sip of a cup of hot chocolate. “Where is Sorrowful Moondust at?” Lucas asked.”She's been asleep since we got here,she's been laying on the cold floor next to Allen's cot.” “As long as you and the others are ok I'll stay strong,use the radio again if you're in trouble or need to check up on us Jer.”Lucas gained a strong confidence boost.”Copy that Tango Flash.Over and Out.”

Rosemary's eyes widened and slowly turned to Lucas.”Wait Zoe is asleep!? Oh no this is my fault!” She began to panic.”What do you mean?” Lucas's eyes widened.”When Jerico,Lazaro and Zoe came over just as we were heading in,and Z said she was having trouble sleeping and I think I gave her a heavy dose of sleeping medication and she could be in here with us…somewhere.” She bit her nail as the radio wings flickered in a panic.

She grabbed the radio.”Jerico this is bad!? You said Z was asleep!?” “What happened to using radio code names?” Jerico responded.”Well I forgot I gave Z some strong sleeping medicine and she could be in here with us,I need you to attach a heat monitor sticky strip and place it on her wrist,we don't need her going into a bad situation and not know where she is!?” Rosemary said in a panic.”Oh great of all the things she's gonna make me worry more about the poor thing.” Lazaro placed a blanket on Z.”Me and Laz will keep an eye on her.” “Thank you both.We gotta go, talk later.” Rosemary clicked off the radio and handed it back to Lucas.

“So there's an unattended person somewhere…Allen go get her.” Allen nodded and dived into an asphalt puddle, Desmond you go and greet the guest.A well dressed male walks out of the shadows as his four white wings dripping Rainbow chemical spread out.”Of course Agent Rainbow.”

It was Desmond,his eyes were black with a red scalea,and his gold rim glasses gleamed in the light.Rainbow disappeared with a huff.The room the group was in goes pitch black and they hear a click of heels of some sort.”Ladies and Gentlemen,please give him a round of a pause your one and only therapist.” Rainbows' voices boomed through the mansion.”Desmond Wales!” Standing on the top of the stairs was Desmond.”Desmond is that you?” Virginia piped up.”Well why won't it be me?” He sounded offended by the comment “Well you look like him but Doc never had any red irises.” Max huffed,the cuffs clacked on his horns*

Desmond Looked at the two.”Where did they go,the radio angel and the cyclops.” His tone of voice shifts from calm to bitter and serious.”We don't know they were just with us a few minutes ago.” Virginia squeaks hiding behind Max.”Yeah honest truth.” Max huffed, almost grabbing the shotgun from his back.Desmond scanned the room before giving Virginia and Max a look of annoyed anger and flew off.”Oh no.” Virginia gave a worried look to Max.”Oh no indeed.” Max seemed nervous.”Oh where are my manners?Inkblots show our guests some gratitude.” Desmond laughed as his voice became quiet.Max and Virginia pulled out their weapons as Inkblots surrounded them.”Max…I'm scared.” Virginia clutched her mirror shard sword.”Stay strong Virginia,we must not give up now!?” Max loaded his shotgun up with fire bullets and held his ground.

Rosemary went looking for either Desmond or Allen and had Lucas look for Zoe.”Dragon's Breath to Tango Flash any luck finding her?” Jerico sounded worried.”Negative can't find her anywhere.” Lucas was becoming deeply concerned and very worried.”I'll update you if I find her alright Dragon's Breath?” He waited for Jer's response.”Alright Tango Flash,over and out.” The radio clicked off.”Over and out.” Lucas mumbled quietly.He then felt a sharp pain on the back of his neck as shielded shooting inkblots shot at him.”Alright you bastards bring it on!” He pulled out his sniper loaded with special green radio bullets that exploded when activated with his modded radio.Rosemary was running around trying to find any of the boys but ended up back in the main entrance of the mansion,and found herself tearing up.The scorched floor from Max's fire bullets and torn and blood stained fabric pieces from Virginia's dress didn't look well to her.”Max! Virginia! Where are you!” No response from the both of them.Rosemary walked up to the next floor only to find what seem to be droplets of blood and more bullet scorch marks.”No,no they have to be somewhere!” She tried to keep her hopes up.

Lucas had his med kit and patched up any cuts from the inkblots from where they shot him.”D…damn things.” he stuttered for a moment before hearing a bubbling sound and blackish brown asphalt could be seen in the light.Lucas quickly and quietly hid in the shadows due to his dark green ghillie suit hid him in the dark.Allen crawled out of the asphalt puddle and looked around his sunken yellow glowing eyes looked and looked around the room,his bone like wings clicked on the floor.Allen shuffled around for about 30 minutes looking in every room for the unattended person and falls backwards into the puddle and disappears.”Holy hell.” Lucas muttered quietly.”I can hear you…Lucas Cole!” Allen's voice sounded vicious but also sounded like he was in pain.”I heard you.” His voice shook as he spoke.Lucas quietly crawls on the floor trying not to get Allen's attention,but he seemed more nearsighted than far sighted in vision so Allen could barely see him.Lucas stood up quietly side stepping into one of the rooms and then used a item from the room he snuck in to throw at the other door to get Allen's attention.”I heard that.” He quickly scurried to the door that made noise and Lucas escaped that area.

Z was outside of the garden maze looking for the others.”Max,Virginia,Lucas Rosemary…where are you all! She had on a moon and starry-like long-loose sleeved dress and ran around looking for them everywhere.”Guys where are you!?” She was panicking and running about.She heard a noise and thought it was one of the people she thought to run into but it was Him and she stumbled backwards.”Ah did the sister to the one man freak show get caught up in something she shouldn't have got into?” Agent Rainbow sneered and then scoffed disappearing into thin air.She gets up and looks around staying alert.While she wasn't looking Rainbow appeared again and sent Allen to attack her.”I'll be inside if you need me.” He walks back inside from the balcony.Allen tossed a orb like object at her that was filled with sleeping gas,she tried to cover her face from it but the sleeves of her dress didn't help,she had grabbed a tiny vile of antidote and tucked it into her hand before her vision went dark.

She had awoken a few hours late,Allen was keeping an eye out for anyone outside the door before walking in.He kneels to get eye level with Z before slowly recognizing it was her.”Z?” Allen said in a more hurt and worried tone.”Allen?” She was still disoriented. ”What have I done…” He hung his head down. ”Allen come here,come close.”Z looked like a ball joint doll the way she was half awake on the floor.Allen quickly got the key from around his neck and unlocked the door and sat in front of Z with the key off his neck. ”Allen,I was so worried about you,I thought you wasn't gonna wake so I came in here to help the others,Rosemary didn't give me medicine to help me sleep,she gave me the same concoction that got them here in the first place and I wasn't gonna let them hurt you.” She grabbed one of his hands with her free hand. “But it is dangerous here,Rainbow and Desmond will hurt you.And maybe even me.” He looked away.Z grabbed his face and turned it to her. “Then why haven't you if you are under his control?” He paused before his eyes widened. “Do me a favor real quick,close your eyes and tilt your head back.” Allen found the request weird but he did just as she said.Z had popped the bottle of the antidote and carefully opened his mouth and poured it in.He lurched backwards before the asphalt disappeared and his single set of wings were more pure white than asphalt and he slowly starts to faded awake.”Z what did you do?” Allen was scared. “You're free from his grasp and you're waking up now.” Z smiled and grasped the key.Allen wanted to say one last thing but he was already waking up.

Jerico and Lazaro look over to Allen's cot and he shot up heavily and panickingly breathing.”What the!?” Both said in unison starting at Allen.”No Z what did you do!?” Allen ran over and looked at the screen.”Don't tell me she's risking herself to save the others.Zoe you're crazy!?” Allen was panicking and pacing the floor with tears in his eyes. “Calm down Allen,tell us everything.” Jerico grasped Allen's shoulder, stopping the man from trying to hyperventilate and pass out.”How about first you take a shower and get you a meal in and then tell us everything that happens.” Lazaro corrected Jerico escorting Allen to the bathroom with a town and a set of his pjs.”You're a pendejo sometimes you know that right?” Lazaro just turns his head and gives Jerico the look of disappointment.”Did you just miss use that word in the sentence just for it to make sense wow.” Jerico slapped Laz.”This is no time for child-like arguments.” She sat down at the desk.Laz was quiet til Allen walked out and into the kitchen.”I made empanadas and some soup if you want anything to eat.”

After Allen ate,he told Jer and Laz everything up until now.Them the radio goes off “Dragon's Breath,Spider Lilies what is going on?” It was Lucas.”Tango Flash you will not believe who's here with us…” Laz nervously spoke.”Who?” Lucas sounded concerned.”It's Asphalt Icarus,he woke up with Zoe's help and she could be in danger!?” Jericho sounded stressed out and worried. “Sunflower deep breaths in and out alright,stay strong,we will find her and hopefully bring her back safely.” Lucas reassured Jerico in a calm sweet tone. “Over and out.” Laz clicked off the radio.

Allen picked up Z and laid her on the cot so she wasn't lying on the cold floor and lays a heavy blanket over her.He noticed Z wasn't wearing her turtleneck and her black pants but a short sleeve shirt and shorts,her scars from where her father abused her could be seen,her arms and neck.and legs had a lot of scars from what Allen had guessed was from a beer bottle. “Is that why she wore long clothing?” Jerico handed Allen a glass of hot chocolate.”She told me about her being abused by her father after her mother died, her father always accusing Z of being the fault of her mother's death when she died of a natural cause.” Allen sat the cup down and quietly sobbed.”After I meet her when she first came to Milton Haven she was scared and had tears, packing a bag of clothes and medication with her.I said she can stay for as long as she likes and I took her in taught her everything she knows.She works morning Homa Mart shifts and babysits Virginia's brother and Max's kid,and helps me at night with the lighthouse.” He pulled his knees to his chest.”And she's like the sister I always wanted.” His eyes were red from crying and his cup of hot chocolate was empty.Jer and Laz both comforted him.

As the storm picked up in Desmond's unconsciousness.Z would run to find Max and Virginia and with luck on her side did and patched up their cuts and bruises with a med kit Allen also left behind.Z's outfit also had a small change the dress now has a gold rim wing shaped shoulder cape that must be Allen is keeping her safe. “I'll help bring Desmond home,I'll be ok…Allen.” Z said with her confidence boosted clutching her fist.

[mixelation]

vagueposting but i link to the post pissing me off and quote it. so not vagueposting at all but the blog has a massive following so it's not like. bullying

there is A Post i keep seeing, despite my best efforts to scrub OP from my dash, and it's specifically this version

reasons this post annoys the bejeebus out of me:

This is not a dunk on fandom—love the energy!—but I dream of the things we all could accomplish if we devoted some of that love and passion to the living creatures of planet Earth.

This is absolutely a dunk on fandom. You have literally structured your post around calling out "fandom" for not spending energy on something you think is more worthwhile. "Oh, no, OP meant in addition to fandom activities--" Nope! Maybe that's what they wanted to say, but they did not frame their post this way. The singled out fandom, played the "not to mean but--" card completely straight, and then somehow laid their environmental anxieties at the feet of fandom. They genuinely sound like one of those PTA moms who gives themselves anxiety over what innocuous things other people's kids do in their free time, which do not affect them at all.

[...]

Let me tell you a secret. Talk to gardeners and ecologists from your parents' and grandparents' generation, and you will recognize the same kind of people [as artists], passionate, socially awkward and probably some flavor of neurodivergent, except their blorbos are lichens, salamanders, mushrooms, bats, turtles, and birds.

These people were the ones that taught us how important those creatures were in the first place. That learned how to study them and wrote down what they observed.

Here's a neat little rhetorical device where OP isolates people "from your parents' and grandparents' generation" as separate but still accessible entities. This magical mood of loving nature is so close to you, but you've been isolated! Forgotten the old ways! These magic old people infused you with love for nature, and learned how to.... study them and write down what they saw...? No one was studying ecology or studiously improving gardening methods before your grandparents. There are no gen Z ecologists. There are no magic nature-loving people who also do fandom. Nuh-uh. It's just these magical older generation gardeners with all this secret knowledge.

Also, I never talk about (one part of) this, but I am a neurodivergent scientist running a fandom blog, and I do think claiming ecologists/gardeners are all "some flavor of neurodivergent" is a super weird take. First, ecologists (and scientists at large) are diverse people, not some cute stereotype in your head. Second, don't diagnose strangers, jfc. Third, "some flavor of neurodivergent" does not automatically make someone your friend or your magical relatable nature guide who wants to infodump all their cool nature facts like a trained dog.

IME ecologists and other people working in conservation ARE hype to tell you about their research and work, but I think linking this trend of enthusiasm to "oh, probably your local cute neurodivergent person--" is harmful in more ways than one to, like, everyone involved.

Here is something important: People cannot care about saving what they haven't even heard of.

This is true, or at least dogma I've heard actual conservationists say. It also has nothing to do with "fandom."

When I first started researching plants, I was shocked and horrified to find the internet almost empty of informative resources. No pictures, no paragraphs written by knowledgeable people, no cheat sheets, no diagrams.

There is not a single photo of a couple-months-old American Sycamore sapling anywhere on Google. Not one.

This is not true. There are in fact many plant identification websites, along with insect, spider, bird, mushroom, etc websites, often run by government organizations, botanical gardens, plant nurseries and nature enthusiasts. They often look like they were designed in the early 2000s and never updated, and there's not a really good umbrella website (except maybe iNaturalist?), but these resources definitely exist. If you google "Platanus occidentalis seedling" or "Platanus occidentalis sapling," you can indeed find the photos OP claims do not exist (examples: x, x). This is the piece of the post that pisses me off the most, because by claiming things literally don't exist on the internet, you actively discourage people form seeking them out.

Side note: I actually blocked OP over a different set of posts where they blogged at length and with extreme performative concern over not being able to find a specific type of study, which was a study design so common anyone who's spent more than thirty seconds figuring out google scholar could have found one. Posts like this are not actually helpful for general science education and instead just upset people while simultaneously misinforming them and discouraging them from doing their own searches.

When I started doing educational events at the place I volunteer, I had to write stat blocks and handouts about my trees MYSELF. From scratch.

So does the information literally not exist, or did you compile existing info into a streamlined form to fit your purposes....? How did you learn the information? Did one of the magical old people tell you?

Everyone I've talked to has said the same thing—I would like to plant native species and create a place for wildlife, but there isn't any information.

Don't let people tell you that you can't do anything. We already have scientists. We need artists. Bloggers. Enthusiasts. Hobbyists. Shitposters. We need love, passion, and obsession.

These things exist. These types of spaces exist in real life and all over the internet. Why are you writing like they are a dying breed? Reddit might have its problems, but there are tons of subreddits filled with enthusiastic people who will help you figure out a native plant garden. There is almost definitely at least one desperate conservation group who has this information available for your area (try googling your region and "native plant" - example: "bay area native plant" brings up the California Native Plant Society). You will have to spend some time reading, but I promise the information is there if you spend as long on google as you do making posts like this. You are harming these groups by writing as if they don't exist or are barely functioning due to lack of community support.

We need people whose talents are in editing, photoshopping, shitposting and meme-making, because the internet is where the conversations of the world happen, and we need to be talking about the living things of our planet that are in peril. Their beauty. Their importance. I'm completely dead fucking serious here.

I do agree with this point. Scientists are trained to make graphs, but they're not trained to make graphic design, if you know what I mean.

However, OP's goal is......

Do y'all have any idea how powerful a force your enthusiasm is?? To save the world, we need people who are like that, but about niche bees.

Imagine the most feral and unhinged of freaky fandom folk.

Now imagine someone who is Like That about prairie grasses.

To... have "fandom folk" redirect their energy at.... plants and bees? The subsequent blogging indicates that OP simply wants more blogs that post photos and art of plants and fungi. Okay, cool. What does this have to do with fandom? Do you know that fandom is a hobby for most people, and they go off and do other things in their life that might not be apparent to you, a stranger on the internet? Do you know how many of these magic ecologists and conservationists spend all day doing the work you want to see, and then go goof off in fandom to relax? Do you know that you do not have the right to control or criticize people's harmless hobbies, which do not affect you?

Someone else reblogged and added this comment:

Unfortunately fandom is mostly character analysis, and plants have no character to analyze so this will never happen

Also, the most helpful thing for them to do to save the planet is to donate money to those already doing it, not clogging up the system with terribly thought out newbie orgs

OP decided to reply to this comment more than once, jumping on the idea that "plants have no character" as ridiculous and then making fun of the idea of donating money. I want to emphasize that OP reblogged this person twice, which solicited their many followers to jump on their wording and yell about making plants blorbos, rather than think about any of OP's supposed points about conservation or gardening or environmentalism.

This person, apparently: the only form of doing good in the world that exists is donating money to a charitable organization. There is no such thing as work or outreach or education only money

In the ideal world, people would have dedicated jobs for the things described above. There are people who make a living off of doing scientific illustrations, and I would love for there to be more paid positions where artists and trained educators work with scientists on outreach. Established organizations do need volunteers, but they also need money so they can hire trained professionals to do the things OP is calling on fandom for.

Anyway, as a scientist and a fandom blog, here's this:

What you do with your spare time is up to you. If it's posting weird headcanons at 2 AM, whatever. You do you. You do not have to direct energy at saving the world or whatever.

If you're interested in ~touching grass~, I recommend googling for state/national parks in your area, as they're easy to identify and often put on cool events. You can also google for specific societies or hobbies, or places like botanical gardens and nurseries. Hobbyist mycologists are wild people, for example. These orgs often have volunteer days if you don't have a lot of time to commit.

Are you an artist, graphic designer, or illustrator? You may be surprised how many groups would love to have you design a pamphlet or logo! They will generally give your the information they want people to know and not just have you put together your own information unless you volunteer to do so (source: anecdata from scientists I know who also happen to be talented artists).

Memes are cool, but if you're trying to use them to ~spread information~, please do your best to fact check and then also provide citations. If you make a viral meme of bad information I will be forced to write a vent post about it. :P

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

So this year, we're getting yet another GHOSTBUSTERS movie in the re-rebooted franchise, and a new Star Wars feature film looks to shoot later this year for a penciled-in May 2026 release.

I see a lot of skepticism on the internet over these particular developments, and I think a lot of it is rooted - in some way or another - in a legitimate concern. It seems most of the consensus on GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE, and its 2021 predecessor GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE, is that it's taking a simpler property way too seriously. Treating it as if it's some serious legacy franchise, that has to be honored to the letter. Like it's... Star Wars!

I have yet to see GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE, I'm actually really not that big of a Ghostbusters person. I had seen the first movie a while ago and thought, "Yeah, that was kinda cool." But that's about it. I didn't remember it having a presence when I was a kid in the '90s. I do know that there was a cartoon airing on Saturday mornings in the late '90s called EXTREME GHOSTBUSTERS (how of the era!), but I never watched it. So, yeah... Ghostbusters is not exactly my jam, but I do think there is some overreacting going on here regarding this new movie.

I totally get it, though. GHOSTBUSTERS III stalled and stalled and stalled, and then Harold Ramis - Egon - passed away, so Sony/Columbia opted to just reboot it entirely with a different continuity... And with four women playing the Ghostbusters, only to get greeted with nothing but contempt. Regardless of the 2016 movie's quality, it created this aggressively no-nuance situation where it was this ultra-hated movie (for all the wrong reasons) and that YOU - if you weren't a raging misogynist racist asshole - were morally obligated to LIKE the movie... Regardless of what you thought of it, in terms of its quality. Ya know, script, acting, direction, etc. The movie ended up flopping, so there was no future in this team, though they did appear in an IDW-published comic thereafter.

So, Jason Reitman, son of the franchise's co-creator Ivan Reitman, started a "true" third Ghostbusters that took place in the same continuity as the first two movies and brought back the remaining actors to play the Ghostbusters... Passing the baton to a group of kids, two of which were girls. Sort of treating it all as a legacy brand, which I understand can be annoying to those who feel like GHOSTBUSTERS - the 1984 movie - was at its core a small-scale comedy and not this worldwide thing. At the time, I definitely saw that particular movie as spite. A sort of kowtowing to the angry male nerds who honk "WOKE" like a defective goose at everything. But that apparently was not the case during production, it was just... Ghostbusters is a franchise, and in capitalism... Things *must* continue (facetious), even if it's well past its expiration date. An animated Ghostbusters movie is also in the works, which is being done up at Sony Pictures Animation... And me? I think this concept works great in animation, and after all, the cartoons are an important part of the whole thing so... Yeah, I'll likely see the animated Ghostbusters movie. I think exploring that universe in the animated medium might be a fresh spin on a chestnut property. Heck, SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE came off of *three* theatrical live-action iterations of the character, so you never know!

This FROZEN EMPIRE sequel, I'm just indifferent. It exists. Someone will like it, for sure. AFTERLIFE did pretty well at the box office amidst the Delta and emerging Omicron variants of COVID-19. I was working the box office the week it came out, and I had a family come up to me to get their tickets for it... All dressed as Ghostbusters, complete with a homemade proton pack. And I thought to myself, "That's what it's aaaall about."

Star Wars, admittedly, has gone in directions that I just don't care for. The last movie I genuinely had a good time with in the franchise was SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY, which was already a very safe and workmanlike movie. The cast and old school space western vibe save it. Despite what we now know what it's like to work under Phil Lord and Chris Miller (as made clear by the stories that got out on ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE), I honestly would love to see what their version of that story would've looked like... But, we ultimately didn't receive that movie, so... And of course, I really liked THE LAST JEDI. Really liked how Rian Johnson took the franchise, which was becoming well-worn, and cracked it open and took a look at it with a fresh new perspective. And naturally, it was hated beyond belief, and mostly by the usual suspects... I think such a fervent backlash played a part in how Lucasfilm and Disney went forward with this franchise.

So when THE RISE OF SKYWALKER came out, I also took it as spite. Bowing to the angry assholes who just couldn't stomach that the franchise featured people other than white guys and had something more important to say. I was quite pissed off with how they significantly dialed down Rose Tico into a nothing character, instead they gave more time to this new character - whose name I, no shock, forget - who was played by some friend of J.J. Abrams that won a bet during development... Like, what the hell was that all about? Also didn't care for a number of things that just got... Thrown at you. It felt like it was made in panic mode, a Disney-mold please-all movie to end the sequel trilogy and the entire Skywalker saga as a whole. I could go on and on, but I wasn't necessarily upset with developments like "Rey is actually related to Palpatine"... They just come too late and are super-undercooked, all of it in one 2 1/2-hour movie that was following two movies that were saying and building up to something entirely different. The death of Carrie Fisher certainly didn't help, either. I didn't hate THE RISE OF SKYWALKER per se, I was left feeling "whatever"... Like... What the hell was that?

So I didn't bother with THE MANDALORIAN and anything else thereafter, in terms of live-action. And it appears that the Mando side of things informs the franchise going forward. The new movie is called THE MANDALORIAN & GROGU, and that just tells me everything I need to know. I'm curious about the movie featuring Rey 15 years later, that's to be directed by Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy. James Mangold could possibly make something cool out of his ancient Jedi movie, but... Honestly, it's all a big bag of "who cares" to me. With a universe so big and wide, with all kinds of planets everywhere... why does it always have to be about the Skywalkers, the Jedi, etc.? Just give me a Disney+ National Geographic-style documentary about banthas, that would be infinitely more interesting to me. That's why STAR WARS: VISIONS is on my watch-list, like... Enough about the Skywalkers and the Jedi already...

But, Star Wars is owned by big bad Disney. And Disney is going to milk this franchise until audiences collectively get sick of it. Sure, there has been plenty of Star Wars media made before the Disney buyout of Lucasfilm: Comics, video games, novels. It's always been around in some way or another, but I feel Disney just doubled-down on it. Probably because of the abundance of movies made and the amount of shows they're cranking out.

And then I try to place myself in 1977, when STAR WARS first came out. The original movie, before any sequels, before any TV specials, before the added "A NEW HOPE" subtitle, etc....

STAR WARS, alongside Steven Spielberg's JAWS and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, are often seen as the end of "New Hollywood" and the beginning of the blockbuster era of Hollywood... And yet, STAR WARS was being made before that all really took off. When George Lucas and his crew were planning and shooting what would become the first movie, how they would they have known what kind of monster it would create? Not just the Star Wars franchise as a whole, but the blockbuster in general. JAWS was the only "blockbuster" at the time of this movie's making, having grossed over a record $130m domestically in 1975. In 1976, the highest grossing movie was ROCKY, with $55m. STAR WARS was one of those movies where it was looking like it was going to be this big mistake, this big flop. Who in 1977 wanted to see some pulpy kid-friendly space adventure movie? By late 1976, the movie industry was still in the era of adult auteur-driven films. Dramas, political thrillers, and smaller pictures that would be called "prestige pictures" today. Films that would struggle to make $50m domestically in 2024, let alone be released in theaters. It was the era of THE GODFATHER, TAXI DRIVER, DOG DAY AFTERNOON, THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR, etc. Isn't it something that those kinds of movies were once regularly the biggest hits at the box office? And you wonder why Martin Scorsese voiced his concerns about Marvel movies...

You look at STAR WARS, and it is indeed part of that waning era of American cinema. At first glance, it's a kids' space adventure movie featuring a WIZARD OF OZ-esque band of weirdos, where people fight with laser swords and there's ships flying around... But it's actually, through and through, a 1970s movie. It's informed by Lucas' politics, the Vietnam War, the Richard Nixon administration... And to think that people complain that the franchise had gotten too political or too "woke" under Disney's ownership? Don't make me laugh.

In a way, you kind of come to realize... Well, this little space movie from the 1970s somehow became the highest-grossing movie ever for a period of time (Steven Spielberg's E.T. took the record in 1982), it spawned two sequels and a few TV specials and cartoons... And tons of comic books and novels and toys... And then three more movies, and more cartoons, and more movies, it's now owned by a massive multimedia conglomerate that wants MORE MORE MOOOOOOORE of it out there... And well... Capitalism. It becomes big, new people take it over every now and then, it's soooooooo far removed from the little anti-Vietnam War space movie it was in 1977 that could've gone down as an embarrassing box office disaster and subsequent cult classic.

And then you realize when it's time to get off the train, and quit going after the wrong people, aiming for the wrong targets. In that, the thing wasn't ruined, it's just so big now that it's not its earliest roots. When I see these new Star Wars things that throw in cameos and try very hard to play to fans who want Star Wars done up in a very specific way, I can't get too too angry... Because this whole "Star Wars, the way you've always loved it" thing seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the original movie, NOT the Original Trilogy, was in 1977. Repeating the past, instead of being someone's unique vision informed by the events of the era it was made in. It became a franchise, but it's okay to say when it's time to cap it off and go watch something else.

I extend this to my current gripes with Walt Disney Animation Studios and the majority of Disney's modern movie output that isn't Pixar, 20th Century Studios, and Searchlight. WDAS may never be what it was a few decades ago, it'll certainly never be what it was under Walt's watch. I can gripe all I want about their recent films not entirely doing it for me, but I can still look for the things I like (for example, STRANGE WORLD had some really cool stuff in it, have yet to see WISH all the way through) and hope for the best next time. "The best", as in, a picture I really really dig and cherish. Even if I may not get just that. The reality is, these things grow and balloon way beyond what they started out as, and many different people are now involved, money drives it all, and thus those in charge take it the direction that they THINK is the right direction. It's never easy to guess what it is the audience might want or will like, ya know?

Sometimes things are truly special before they blow up into something else where there's too much money at stake and too many people making what they feel are the right decisions... Sometimes those things can still be special, too...

[hershelwidget]

hmm.

through it being Pride Month and everything now I've noticed that I accidentally self projected like. Every identity I've ever had in my life onto Several characters of mine.

And I don't just mean "oh at [w] point I was [x] so this character will also be [x] and we're done"

I mean "At [w] point I was [x] and I expressed myself with it like [y] & [z] and I want to remember that feeling of self expression so this character will also be [x] with those same feelings and methods of expressions (occasionally tweaked to fit the actual character)"

So here's some examples of that under the cut :]

Theatre - Identifies as a Woman. Uses He/Him & Play/Plays/Playself pronouns. Lesbian. Aromantic. Non-Binary. (The general idea is that Theatre believes your identity is whatever the fuck you want it to be, which reflects my philosophy) [I consistently flip back around to "butch lesbian" as a default identity and that was one of Theatre's building blocks as a character :) This is especially prominent with plays "true self", Lance, who is More Obviously a Butch Lesbian]

Silon - Identifies as a Man. Uses He/Him & They/Them pronouns. Has Breasts. Looks and Acts Feminine. Asexual. Queer. (Silon's sort of a literal representation of what I looked like and acted like when I was a bit younger and finding myself out) [I used to just think I was bisexual and didn't question further why I was so uncomfortable in skirts {which led to me realizing I was aspec}, but as I got educated and witnessed my siblings find themselves out I got more comfortable in my own skin and realized I just wanted to be Myself]

Rina - Identifies as a Spider. Uses She/Her pronouns. Transgender. Lesbian. (Rina was my first ever transgender character. Even at the young age I was when I first started writing her {twelve} I didn't want her being transgender to be a plot point or a conflict, I just wanted it to be something she was alongside being a spider) [Now as I look back on her existence I think I added her being trans down the line because after my eldest sibling came out I was trying to familiarize myself with the concept the best way I knew how, and in the present day she's been a really helpful reminder that queer people in general come in all different shapes and sizes]

Viktor - Viktor is Viktor. (I don't mean that as a alternative to saying "Non-Binary", that's genuinely Viktor's identity as a person. She doesn't care what pronouns you use for him, it doesn't care what you think is under their dress {purely biologically speaking... don't sexualize Viktor though}, Viktor is Viktor.) [Viktor really emphasizes the "be what you want" philosophy I have, in a way that's more subtle than Theatre ... Yeah, Viktor wears dresses and skirts and has cute pink-fading brown hair and has a high pitched voice and doesn't bat an eye when people call her "daughter" or "miss" or "young lady". It's a one to one visualization of every single thing I did when I was growing up, and even today! I'm not a girl most days anymore, yet on those same days I'll still wear skirts and dresses and if I feel daring, some makeup. Viktor is as close as I've ever gotten to myself as a fictional character]

I have a LOT of other examples but I'm sure you get the point. Honestly I should make like a chart or a spreadsheet... And 3/4 of the examples I've already listed also have disabilities that I have or people close to me have that are major parts of their characters for all of the same reasons, sometimes more. I'm going to do a similar thing for Disability Pride Month.

Anyways... As of writing this section I'm doing exactly as I stated I sometimes do in Viktor's example; I'm wearing a pink skirt, pink eyeshadow, blue striped socks, white shirt... Transgender flag colours, all to symbolize I'm a trans man as of this very moment. How cool is that?