#look at that fucker go

[nicstylus]

Get stickbugged skuldugged lol

hiding my unhinged thoughts in the tags

[purplebehittindifferent]

They refuse to be contained

Masterpost

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[yeenkingart]

fanart for @zhraekk !!! Their medieval au with ford being a complete loser dork and bill a psychotic jester/knight feeds my soul and has been rotating in my brain for the past day or so. They are an amazing artist and everyone should go look at their stuff!! Go now!!!

The comic is loosely based on this scene from the first shrek movie lol, i was joking about it with @ghost-of-spring-woods (who is also a very good artist go look at them now!) Ford immediately buckles, that man has neither standards or self respect. I hate him. But zhreakk draws him so goofy and squishy so ill let him live.

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

M!Minotaur x reader

Will eventually be a full nsfw series (reader being courted by Ahanu and another minotaur who are constantly trying to one up each other for the reader’s attention).

————

You sniffled as you held the little bird. It had only hatched a few weeks ago but fell from the nest and died. You had been checking on the nest almost daily once you had seen an egg in it, excited to see it hatch and grow up.

Maybe it was silly how upset you were over the bird. Back at home you were often teased for being too soft, for crying too easily, for always taking everything so hard, but you could not help it.

It felt wrong just to leave it on the ground, the little thing deserved more dignity than that. You set it back down and started to dig a hole with your bare hands next to the tree, figuring that was the best you could do for it.

You did not hear the footsteps approaching, nearly jumping out of your skin when suddenly there came a voice.

“And what is it that you’re up to out here on your own?” It was Ahanu, a minotaur hunter here in the village.

He looked over your shoulder, surveying your dirty hands, the hole, and the little bird. “Oh, from the nest you’ve been watching.”

You turned to face him and started wailing and he immediately pulled you into a hug while you waited for him to tell you that you were overreacting.

He was soft and warm, and you melted into his embrace, his steady heartbeat was comforting as you pressed your face against him.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself before speaking, “I know it’s silly, circle of life and all that, it’s just a bird.”

“It’s not silly. You were so excited about it, and a loss of life is always sad, no matter how small” he reassured you. “Instead of burying it why don’t we make a pyre?”

You nodded against his chest. Humans buried their dead, but minotaurs believed that the spirit was trapped on this plane until the body completely returned to the earth, wrapping and burning their dead before spreading the ashes.

“I can gather some wood” you said.

“Why don’t we do this the right way, yeah? It meant a lot to you so why not give it a full funeral?” Ahanu asked.

“That’s too much just for a bird” you muttered.

“No it’s not, this bird meant a lot to you, it deserves to be laid to rest with care.”

Ahanu helped you to your feet and carefully carried the bird back to the village to the earth speaker. You felt embarrassed as he explained to the earth speaker that you needed funerary cloth for a bird, though the speaker treated it solemnly like any other death and without judgement.

Once outside Ahanu lead you to where the pyres were built at the edge of the village and began digging through the wood pile to find enough small sticks to built it. You watched as he took great care choosing the sticks and binding them together to make the little raised platform for the funeral. Once he was satisfied with it he carefully wrapped the bird in the cloth, tucking in the ends and making sure everything was tidy and just so.

The two of you sat on the ground as he finished preparing everything, finally placing the bird on the pyre.

“Great mother of the earth, welcome this spirit back into your embrace, let its ashes return to the earth and nourish those who still live, and bring comfort to those who will miss it. May this fire cleanse any regrets and light the way.”

At this point you were wailing again as he lit the pyre, equal parts for the bird and over the kindness he was showing for you.

He softly rubbed you back as he sat next to you on the ground, never once trying to rush you, just patiently letting you cry it out.

You leaned against him, eyes stinging from crying and nose running. He leaned his head against the top of yours and hugged you, just being a reassuring presence.

“Whenever you’re ready we can gather the ashes, but there is no hurry” he said.

You nodded against his chest, too stuffy and out of breath to really speak.

He helped you spread the ashes around the tree where the nest was, hugging onto you while you cried again.

“Why don’t you come over for lunch?” he offered.

“Thank you, but I’m not hungry” you said.

“That’s just the sadness talking, and you always like my cooking when I bring you food. Come keep me company while I make lunch, it’ll help keep your mind busy.”

You nodded. He was right on all accounts, it did sound nicer to not be alone right now.

[erinwantstowrite]

i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do

[doodleferp]

If Ken the Butcher doesn’t become the new Miguel O’Hara, I will be VERY upset because that man’s proportions are absolutely ridiculous

Like LOOK AT THIS MAN. I am GOING INSANE.

[alyssalenko]

So uh...we saw Red One and I got a couple of unexpected checks on my monsterfucker bingo card. Between Krampus and the Abominable Snowmen, I'm going to hell. But...

Bonus:

Bonus 2:

Bonus 3:

[wotchernewt]

new watcher design just dropped

from the new guess the build (grian's version), jimmy's creative interpretation of joel's viewership.

[ourfandomcrazyuniverse]

Considering how gay (and monster fuckeresque) tumblr is, I am stunned by the lack of gifs of Venom licking Eddie’s face in Venom 3

[xxplastic-cubexx]

crying at them i cant stand their hands-on-hips asses

[X-Men: The Art and Making of the Animated Series]

[vaguely-humanoid-form]

hi guys I just finished episode 15 and. t. them. they make me SIIIIICK I need to kill them with hammers,.

edit: I spelled coalecroux wrong in the tags LMAO

[babeilovemonsters]

You know what? I'm so BORED of big monsters. Okay no, I absolutely love big monsters. Monsters that tower over you. But when I'm in a size kink mood, and I specifically want shorter monsters, absolutely zero content. So you know what? I'm making my own.

I can probably do a bigger post about different types eventually, but today, I want fae.

I want a short fae. A piskie, pixie if you're not Cornish like I am.

They stand at no taller than 1ft, usually only 13 inches, and live mostly in trees. Their skin feels more like scales, similar to the bumpy, rough texture of a bearded dragon, with tiny spikes, and often comes in green, orange, brown, and other such colours, and smoothed down their back is much softer than up towards their head. They have big, pointed ears on the sides of their heads, similar to a deer's in shape, with thin, jagged ends, mimicking that of a leaf. Their wings are also very reminiscent of leaves, but aren't for flying. While their bones are hollow like a bird's, they don't actually fly, but rather glide. That being said, they can hold their air time for quite a long while, travelling up to half a mile with the right height and wind strength. Their claws are sharp and perfect for climbing, and their feet are also similar to a lizard's, so they can still grab on. They have small, wirey thin tails, for keeping balance in the treetops, only reaching to their knees. Their eyes are big, and dark, perfect for spotting little details under the blanket of nighttime. Being omnivores, they have both sharp and flat teeth, similar to a dog's.

Some choose to wear clothing, fashioned out of leaves, ripped fabric, litter, and even wooden armour. But not all find dignity in covers, and so choose not to. This is a respected practice, so long as they keep their sexual deeds private.

Their genitalia is able to be concealed, hidden in their sheathes until horny enough to awaken and slide out on their own. The females are larger than males, and tend to be thicker in muscle mass. Males are smaller, thinner and faster, but not as strong. Thus, females are often the ones in charge. They aren't mammals, and ultimately lack breasts, laying eggs instead. During breeding process, the fucking is normal, until the eggs are fertilised. After the females are successfully bred, they'll wait a few weeks for the eggs to develop enough, before taking down some unfortunate mammal, usually a human. Y'know, cause these fae are cold blooded. They aren't warm enough for the eggs. All the currently pregnant females deposit their eggs via an organ reminiscent of a female hyena (if you know, you know), and keep this incubator nearby, before either letting them go or eating them when the job is done. Depends on how they feel.

Because of this, it's not uncommon for female fae to fall in love with the human. But it IS uncommon for the males to. The males don't really have a need for the human. But you know how it is. Maybe they just get curious, or have a human kink. They're not instinct driven animals, they're people too. They might just like humans. Hell, the human doesn't even have to be the incubator for a fae to fall in love! They might fall for someone who frequents the woods quite often. Maybe the human feeds the wildlife, or plants flowers in the trees. Maybe they bring their dog(s) every day, and the fae find it cute. Everyone has their individual reasoning.

Personally? I wouldn't wanna be an incubator. Sounds hot in concept, but realistically thinking, I wouldn't be very comfortable. But I'd love to feel a gaze on me in the woods. It starts very slightly, probably just a squirrel or bird, I think. But then I start getting that feeling more intensely. Sometimes the feeling follows me. Sometimes it starts the moment I enter the woods, like something was waiting for me in those trees. Sometimes I'd notice little flowers or berries put in specific patterns on the path ahead, always the same exact paths I take every day. I'd start leaving gifts in return, like little ribbons, or beads. I'd start noticing them delicately placed on the branches in decoration, and keep the collection going.

I just think it'd be nice. Having something wait for me every day.

However, piskies do tend to stay in 'packs'. I say packs lightly, as they are on the same wavelength as humans, probably moreso, and some aren't comfortable being compared to an animal. Sensitive topic. But point is, they stick together. You'd REALLY need to be someone special to have one leave it's family to accompany you, though definitely expect requests to visit.

Fae are smart. Incredibly smart. It'd find ways to get around, especially as small as they are. Maybe it'd hide in your bag? Or in the hood of a baggy jumper? Maybe it'd sneak alongside, hiding in the trees and bushes near the path, while keeping an ear out for your breathing and footsteps in order to navigate your location. In your house, perhaps it'd hide in the walls when company is around, giving nothing more than flash of mystery and wonder to your guests as they catch the slightest glimpse. It'd find ways to hide, while never really leaving your side. They are incredibly loyal, after all.

Most, but not all, piskies are asexual. They're not very sex focused. Of course, some are definitely kinkier than others, and they do get sexual pleasure, physically. Some are comfortable with the idea. Some are indifferent. Some are very much against it. But sex is rarely their first instinct. It's mostly food or games. This means you would probably have to initiate something. They'd do their absolute best, of course! But it can be difficult for something of their size to really do a good job. They weren't exactly built to satisfy monsterfuckers of other species. Maybe sex isn't their forte. You can definitely work with it! Some are wonders with their tongues, such long and agile muscles usually used for licking honey out of beehives, while others have more joy in using their hands and arms to reach in and drag their nails delicately across the insides.

But hey. If you can get a fae to love and trust you that much, you can do what you want with it. Cuddle, play, fuck... Just make sure your fae is comfy, and they'll never want to leave.

Hey, isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Damn, treetop piskies are pathetic, huh?

[tastylittlepixie]

pred and prey who have monthly coupons w/ each other.

the pred has one that says "one free meal." it does exactly what it says - the pred gets to eat the prey, no questions asked.

the prey, however, also has one that says "one free meal." however, instead of the pred getting them something to eat, or the prey feeding themselves to the pred, the prey's coupon allows them to get the pred to eat one person of their choosing, no questions asked.

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Edit: I MADE AN UPDATED ONE GO LOOK AT THAT ONE IT'S BETTER I CITED MY SOURCES AND SHOWED MY WORK AND EVERYTHING

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bitches and Bastards, Witches and Wizards, Mothers and Fuckers. Esteemed robot enjoyers, I present to you a semi-accurate height comparison of Bumblebee across the multiverse (as of July 2024). This really helps visualize the truly staggering differences between universes, at least height-wise. Also, three of these characters are Canonically the Same Guy; guess which ones.

I spent way too much time on the chart in the back it's not even funny. I will probably make more height charts for more TF characters and universes in the future. Don't expect it soon though, because when I make these, I am fueled by pure I-Got-Bored-At-Work-And-I-Have-Decided-To-Fool-Around-With-Robot-PNGs, and that fuel supply is inconsistent at best.

Hey Fun Fact, Did you know that Generation 1 Optimus Prime is around 19 Feet Tall? Bet some of you already knew that. I have no ulterior motives for bringing this fact up, what are you talking about.

My height explanations are below the cut, because you couldn't shut me up if you tried.

In an order:

Gen 1 - ~10 feet (the wiki says greater than 3 meters so I rounded up to the first whole number because round)

Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~10 feet (He looks identical to Gen 1 so... the reason his photo looks weird is because I couldn't find a good full body photo with him standing straight up facing the camera so I put two images together to make the worst looking photoshop job you have ever seen)

Earth Spark - 10 feet (There is no confirmed height yet but using a screen shot of him standing in front of a barn door I was able to make a reasonable guess.)

Animated - 12 feet (I have no genuine source for this, I think this info is just someone's guesstimate, but it seems reasonable. He's a tiny two door mini car, how big could he be)

New Live Action - 15 feet (The wiki hath declared. Also do we have a name for this universe because we need one I don't want to keep saying like 6 words to differentiate this one from bayverse)

Bayverse V1 - 16 feet (This is like the first 3 movies minimum, I don't remember when he hits his growth spurt. also wiki my love)

Cyberverse - 18 feet (I'm gonna be honest, the only info we have is from a really shitty screen shot of a magazine. SO if any one has a copy of this book from the video below, a high quality scan would be greatly appreciated and I will kiss the ground you walk upon. Yes I found the video where the screen shot comes from leave me alone)

Bayverse V2 - 18 feet (movie 4-5 I can't remember which one, I'm not re-looking this up. I fucking love the bayverse tho, this is the only universe with concrete and consistent this-character-is-this-height info)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC - 20 feet (video game info screens you god send, kiss me sweetly)

Aligned Cont. TFP/RID15 - 21 feet (I do not know exactly where these numbers were found, but I fully fucking believe them. Just by looking at these characters on the show I can verify these numbers in my mind. They made specifically this universe to be full of freakishly tall robots for some fucking reason.)

And for any one who doesn't know, the three tallest are the same guy. Like the 20 feet tall one and the 21 feet tall ones, same guy. The ones in three wildly different art styles and designs. Let that sink in...

I fucking hate the aligned continuity why is that one my favorite.

[lealikestodraw]

Sdp art dump because I forgot I wanted to post them lol

The second one I already posted to Bluesky but I forgot to add a date and my @ and I might as well add it to pile. The last one is just a quick sketch because I thought it was silly