#lots of fun stuff ahead
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Kidpix commission for @facelessoldgargoyle! (character belongs to me)
#been a hot sec since i posted any OC art so i'm letting this skip ahead of the rest of this batch#had a lot of fun messing around with layering in this one!#commissions#art#digital art#kid pix deluxe 4#my OCs#planetary system depicted should not be taken as canon to this setting yet I'm still planning it#the plot doesn't involve space travel or anything but the in-universe astronomy is important to the cultures of the setting#so I still want it to be decently realistic wrt what phenomena can occur and how often#therefore it is very much subject to change! if you know any good resources for planning or visualizing that kind of stuff hmu
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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Could you perhaps draw how Penelope and Odysseus met in your monster AU?
it was a pretty friendly meeting i think
#file name for this was meet cute btw#ALSO I THOUGHT FIREALPACA WAS GOING TO CRASH AT THE END GENUINELY BC IT WAS LAGGING SO HARD#like it was STRUGGLING i would draw a line and there was a 4 second delay#but its fine i got it#fiddled with the lighting a lot here#sighh still not all that happy with it but i dont wanna look at this anymore and also im convinced firealpaca will explode if i keep drawin#anyways art tags time#doodles#epic the musical#epic monster au#odysseus#penelope#uhh do i odypen tag this#yknow what its odypen at heart <3 to me#odypen#uhh to be clear this isnt really canon#i dont have an actual idea yet#like i said before this au doesnt really have much story atm#if anyone feels like making stuff up go ahead#for me i just sorta made this au because its fun to draw!#anyways i do hesitantly have as part of odys backstory for this au that he used to be a monster hunter before he got bit#so this is actually pretty plausible#ok done rambling now eheh
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Wake up, BurningCheese/GoldenSpice babes, new poorly drawn blorbos just dropped
They look cooler in my head, I swear.


the images didn't show up the first time wtf lol
The kids are finally here, yay. I promised I'd show you them, and I finally stopped being an asshole and followed through. Almost got 200 followers and I'm very grateful for it - really, I'm nobody. I'm just some clown who says dumb stuff and makes dumb memes and writes cringey stories, and yet I convinced almost 200 people to tune in. Thank you all so much, users on here and anons in my inbox alike. As a token of appreciation, you can all endure my rambling about my OCs and witness a person in their early 20s draw like a 12 year old.
The boy is Pepper Jack (or Pepper Jack Cookie). He's the firstborn and older than his sister by a few years. He takes after his mother in a lot of ways, primarily in her appearance (save for nabbing his father's red eyes). He's incredibly bright (and a smartass lol), preferring to think his way out of conflict rather than fight his way out... not that he's above violence at all, if that glaive doesn't give it away lol. He harbors a deep sense of love and loyalty towards his family and his peoples, and carries the weight of his responsibilities and heritage with as much confidence and poise as he can muster. (There are/will be times where he stumbles, of course. He's not perfect. He struggles a lot more than he lets on, really. But he tries his best, for everyone's sake.)
The girl is Matar Paneer (or Matar Paneer Cookie). Again, she's the younger one by a few years. She was all but made in her father's image, save for inheriting her mother's eyes. She's a little firecracker: lively and fun-loving and stubborn as a mule. She doesn't ask "can I have/do this thing", she tells you "I'm going to have/do this thing". Golden is proud as anything to see her daughter be so greedy... until that greed comes into conflict with her and Spice's authority lol. But she's a good kid, despite being such a handful. She has an enormous heart and is not afraid to stand up for others/what's right, and she loves her parents and brother more than anything in the world. She might doubt her own capabilities, she might secretly fear that she's not strong enough to do what she needs to... but she keeps pushing anyway, because she'd honestly choose death over quitting.
Your eyes are not deceiving you, Pepper Jack's wings are blue lol. There's an actual reason for that. And that USO (Unidentified Sitting Object) in Matar Paneer's hair is a lotus (the cheese one in the GCK decor set lol). There's a reason for that, too. I thought it would be cool to give Jack a glaive and swap out the normal blade for that of a khopesh sword (glaives are not Egyptian, they only saw use in Asia and Europe, but I just HAD to give him a glaive), to add that Egyptian touch. Paneer's supposed to be wearing a pattu pavadai, it's a traditional Indian dress for young girls. It's a blouse plus a skirt. She's holding katar, Indian knives (Cilantro Cobra has them, too). And her hair's supposed to be in a low ponytail.
Merchant thinks that if they explain what their terrible drawings are supposed to convey, people will understand their intended vision and the pain will stop
I sat down and did research into both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for the sake of drawing inspiration for them both. I'll explain in detail in another post, but basically: both of them take after one Egyptian god and one Hindu god each. Golden takes after Ra and Spice takes after Shiva, so I figured I'd follow along that line.
Please flood my inbox with questions about them now. I've really been dying to talk about them for ages now. I've drafted extensive character sheets for them both, I even made up in-game descriptions for them lol. They're my little fankid blorbos and I love them :') I hope you all come to love them, too
(Also, I'm sorry they're on lined paper. I'm visiting family rn and that's the only paper my grandmother has in her house. I'd have to drive to a stationery to get printer paper and I'd really rather not drive in this particular country lol (shit roads, even shittier drivers). I'll doodle them on printer paper whenever somebody remembers to bring me some)
#haha spicy cheese and cheesy curry. Get it?#also... when you accidentally indirectly ship Ra x Shiva via making up kids technically born from them lol. Does this count as Old Man Yaoi#(jk I mean no disrespect whatsoever. These gods/faiths are and were important to people and I don't mean to offend)#(I genuinely love learning about other religions and I had fun being inspired by these ones)#(seriously I went ham with this shit. Pepper Jack's birth is based on an Egyptian creation myth lol)#These two have long roads ahead of them. They're going to struggle and get hurt. But they'll pull through and come back better than before#fr please ask me stuff about them. I need an excuse to ramble for 10k words#you can even ask stupid shit like what their favorite color is#I love these two. I feel like their crazy grandma lol#also I have lots of thoughts wrt Spice & Golden as parents and their thoughts/feelings about parenthood#plus their individual relationships with each child#so you can expect me to rant about that too lol#maybe someday Merchant will shut the fuck up#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#cookie run oc#cookie run fankid#pepper jack cookie#matar paneer cookie
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I really like the feel of your art and I was wondering as a person who struggles with coloring, what's ur process like? How do you pick colors?
ill be real with you i just eyeball the colors 🧍♂️ wonders of mostly doing flat colors is that you dont have to think too hard about it lol! i did remember to record a little coloring bit for you tho 😁

also a bit of how i think... i studied color theory but oh boy oh boy i just do what looks good for ME
#my art may not show it but i LOVE saturated stuff...#my sketchbook is a lot more fun lol its kind of hilarious actually#how limited i feel with digital art. or like. too shy to go crazy#also ahead of time teenage kenmarc release hehehe#anyway idk if i was helpful but! thank yewww#ask#my art#art help
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some spreads of feli and rulue i did in downtime
#puyo puyo#feli#rulue#my stuff#started volunteering (more like coerced into volunteering orz) at a front desk job and god is there so much downtime#(ive been given a very clear go-ahead to draw when there's nothing to do(and by god is there nothing to do. a lot))#rulue is because it was her birthday. feli was because i knew roughly how to draw her from memory#and then supplemented my memory by looking at feli rq#these were fun to do though i love girls in love
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UUGHH I JUST HAD THE WORST DAY IM SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED GRRRR !!!!! goes to draw my best friend @jumjum-crafts 's guy to blow off steam
★ version without text + reference image under cut :

★ song : "STATIC ELECTRICITY HUMAN – Computer Flavor" – kairikibear
#before you ask . dear jummy – yes . this was what the ask i sent you the other day was alluding to#i have a very complicated relationship with your colin . but you should be aware of the fact that seeing him invokes intense primitive –#– feelings within me . and one cannot decipher whether they are positive or negative#in any case#JDHDHDJRJRHT I HATE MY LIFE#I HATE THIS SHIT#I WANT TO BE DEAD#there's so much stuff happening every day and im constantly overwhelmed and tired and it's so hard to get out of bed and i don't even want –#– to wake up in the morning . every day just gets worse than the last#everyone around me is doing so much . living their life to the fullest . making huge future and career decisions and planning way ahead#and what am i doing ?#im laying in bed . crying because today was just too much to bear . trying to gain an ounce of happiness by ripping out another piece of –#– my soul to hand out to someone i admire#is this what it's going to be like forever ? bleak nothingness ? constant desolation ?#...#im gonna go to bed#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis colin#colin the computer#fanart#fanart for a friend#vocaloid#vocaloid inspired#i actually had a lot of fun with this . even if the background was the biggest pain i ever had the pleasure of drawing#this entire song makes me feel comfortable#i might make something for someone else#and im debating if im actually gonna be doing a halloween drawing in the first place . at least one that will be on time with the holiday#whatever#please ignore me
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I don't have much energy for more than throwing random ideas in a pot but many thoughts about Robin and Wren and what has made their relationship so fraught
#i think the canon reasoning is gonna be different but to me they are cousins and robin looked up to wren a lot as a kid#they don't come from a well off family and wren got involved w a rougher crowd trying to get up and ahead in life and help their family#ended up in prison working for the big criminals in there for a chance of survival. attracted remy's attention and got bailed out to work#for her. but by then robin's opinion of them tanked hard (and robin has a v rigid morality and is prone to black and white thinking so)#and they never really recovered. as wren gets in deeper and deeper shit because remy actually pays them well enough for it even though they#dont like her and robin refuses to acknowledge the only living close family she has left#i think wren actually gives robin more money than their family sends (they live in mainland india in my headcanon) and thats how she managed#to stay afloat for a while. i think bailey knows this and started collecting her ''debt'' earlier too but its how she affords electronics#and stuff like that despite only having a lemonade stand as her own ''legitimate business'' lol#she has no idea wren puts in more money than their family sends because its not THAT much money but would blow her top if she knew (again#very rigid morality) and i think it would be fun for PC to find out and wren to threaten you into silence. i think it'd be great to have#options to either repair or damage their relationship more#anywaysssssd again no energy but just know i have thoughts#oh!! disclaimer: vrel has said theyre not canonically related! this is a bunch of headcanons#just to make it clear
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Woe, unfinished, mildly edited, fulfire fic tid-bits be upon you
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Like a magnet, his optics kept drifting back to Misfire's face. His stupid, strangely charming face.
For a short while, after Clemency, it had been that face that haunted some of his nightmares. His recalls blurring the lines between the strange reality of Misfire's hands reaching into him to lock his fuel pump back into the very spot he'd pulled it from, and the fear that just as easily he could pull it out again. They had been bloody dreams. Dreams that had him startling awake, gripping his chest in the vain attempt to close what wasn't open, before spending the rest of the day avoiding Misfire's optics.
But now things were different. Not Misfire's face. No, that hadn't changed much. But Fulcrum's dreams had definitely changed. To say the least of what all rolled around in his processor as he slept nowadays.
Some of those newer dreams had crept to the forefront of his mind as he sat there on the couch, staring as the lights of the screen reflected dully across Misfire's plating in hazy blues and greys.
The lighting made his colors seem muddy and faded, but Fulcrum didn't really care, nor did he care to think what it made himself look like. He was too busy bringing an empty engex can to his lips while he watched the crinkle of Misfire's nose as he barked a laugh at something Fulcrum didn't catch onscreen.
He'd started noticing it months ago, all the ways the silvery mesh of Misfire's face would scrunch up with his emotions. Those little crinkles along his optics and nose when he laughed or glared. The creases indented along his cheeks when he grinned. Fulcrum found himself quietly logging away these little details. Idle notes and observations that had suddenly started piling up in the corners of his processer.
He… He'd never really done that before? He'd never really noticed those sorts of things in other mechs.
The faces and expressions of his past colleagues never seemed terribly important. All the details of every smile and frown were never worth filing away, outside of few notable moments where those expressions reflected his work performance. But besides the smile that meant promotion, and the frown that meant he'd screwed up, nothing else was noticeable. Nothing was worth remembering.
But now the memory of every genuine laugh that bubbled out of Misfire sat comfortably besides memories of warm joyful optics that Fulcrum found himself collecting every time Crankcase cracked a rare half-smile for him, or when Krok placed a reassuring hand against his back, or the times Spinister spontaneously pointed out something odd but ultimately nice about his stupid frame.
He didn't really know why he was doing it, memorizing all these mundane little things, just to have them flit through his processer randomly. Maybe it was because those expressions, those details, felt… comforting? Comforting in such a strange and unfamiliar way. But, a good way. A good sort of strange, much like the mechs themselves.
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He had stared for a long moment, the credits and their rolling tune playing somewhere in the background as Fulcrum stared back. But Misfire was never one for personable silence, even as the sound of some likely long dead Iaconian orchestra filled the room.
"What is it?" He asked, a small chuckle escaping him as he brought a hand to his face, "Don't tell me I've poured it all over myself again."
It had taken Fulcrum longer than usual to unstick his glossa from the roof of his mouth as he watched Misfire run a thumb over his lips, but eventually he had coughed out a small, choked, "No."
That had earned him an odd look at first, but with their fields loose and open, Fulcrum could almost feel the exact moment something clicked in Misfire's mind, as the idle comfortable static he projected in pulsing waves evened out into something openly curious and almost subdued.
It wasn't often Fulcrum felt him that clearly.
Misfire tended to keep his field fairly close, though, maybe not as close as the others did, what with how Crankcase kept an iron grip on his, and how Krok's always held an air of strained control, even when it slipped from him. But still, Misfire's was always hard to read, no matter the reach or depth of his field.
Even then and there, with it loose and unfiltered and buzzing with the engex running through his system, there was an ever present undertone of something indescribably jumbled about him, like too many feelings at once, each too vast and hurried for Fulcrum to really feel or understand.
It always seemed to stir the passive anxiety Fulcrum must've been forged with when Misfire's field brushed against his own. As facing the indescribable vague mess of Misfire felt like trying to untangle a pile of live-wires he couldn't even see.
It was almost frustrating in a sense, the need to try and sort and understand what wasn't even his to begin with. But at the same time it was almost exciting as well. It was like a game, like a puzzle he had yet to solve.
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Finally letting his own can go tumbling to the floor to join Misfire's, Fulcrum had brought a hand to cover his face as he drew his legs up and leaned back against the arm of the couch, trying to suppress the fit as the sly look slipped from Misfire's face at the sounds.
While Fulcrum had laughed, and… snorted, embarrassingly, he had felt Misfire's field change again, brushing something fizzy and almost warm against his plating as Misfire's features softened.
"I'm looking at you," Fulcrum had said then between gulps of air, letting his hand fall from his face as he reached out to poke at Misfire's chest, "Dumbaft."
His finger had lingered over the thick plating there for maybe a little longer than necessary, drawing Misfire's attention as it slid down a little before pulling away.
Looking back up again with his helm angled slightly, Misfire had followed the sight of his hand leaving his plating to where Fulcrum let it fall between them.
"Wow…" Misfire had chuckled a little dryly, "I was gonna make it real easy for you. I was going to say something like, ''Do you like what you see?'' or-… or something like that. But now you've ruined it. Good job."
Meeting Fulcrum's optics again as he pulled his own hand back from Fulcrum's shoulder, he brought it to rest between them as well.
"And you're laughing at me," He said next, faking a small pout as his hand drifted closer to Fulcrum's, "Which totally ruins the whole vibe I was going for really. I mean, it's sort of hard to be all nice and suave-like when you're being laughed at. Total vibe killer. Bit of an ego killer too if I'm being honest. So thanks for that loser, thanks for saying I have a funny face."
With Misfire's fingers brushing distractingly past his own, Fulcrum didn't think before the words stumbled out of him.
"I like your face."
It came out almost matter of fact sounding, Fulcrum's laughter having died down while Misfire complained about it. But at the same time the words felt so simple, they came out so easily, and in a weird way they felt nice to say. But Misfire's optics had widened in surprise, his frame frozen and his field suddenly struck quiet, and despite the engex numbing his usual nerves, Fulcrum felt a sudden pang of anxiety because of it.
The silence in Misfire's field was terribly alien. It felt wrong, and something in Fulcrum spiraled to think he had caused it. But slowly, almost as if it were creeping forward, an odd almost scrutinizing uncertainty fanned outward in a careful wave. Misfire moved with it, leaning closer as he searched Fulcrum's expression for something.
"Oh yeah?" He'd said lowly then, and that sly look returned. But that vague uncertainty didn't fade with it, if anything, Fulcrum felt it strengthen. Caught between what he saw, in Misfire's easy smile and dimmed optics, and what he felt, in the growing hollow distance within their fields, Fulcrum found himself frowning and pulling back.
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Growing frustrated with himself, and wanting that feeling back, he had pushed forward, shifting onto his knees as he reached for Misfire's face before the other could pull away from him entirely.
"I like your face." He said firmly, maybe too firmly. His expression still drawn into a frown as he pressed his fingers into Misfire's helm, brushing his thumbs across the silver mesh he'd been staring so intently at before. "I like your optics, and your nose. I- I like the way you smile. When you really smile, and when you laugh. I do. I'm not lying."
And oh there it was again, that little curl of warmth in Misfire's field. Almost a tangible thing, like a brush of ventilation, but Misfire wasn't venting. His mouth hung open ever so slightly, but no breath left him as he stared at Fulcrum with widening optics.
Spurred on by that tiny bloom of warmth, Fulcrum chased after it with slightly slurred words and clumsy hands as he tried to fix whatever he'd done wrong, hoping with each word that Misfire might soften and smile again.
"I like your expressions, and- and I like your voice," He said, glancing down at Misfire's parted lips, and laughing softly, nervously, as he continued, "Even when you say something so stupid. I like- I like the way it sounds. I like your accent, I like the way it makes your words sound. I- I like your- your mouth?"
Once more that weird but nice feeling settled in Fulcrum's chest. Those simple words felt good to say. It felt like a weight off his shoulders, like an admission he'd been waiting to say. About what and why? He wasn't really sure. But the warmth grew, and Misfire took a sharp vent inwards, and that felt right, so Fulcrum kept on.
"I like your helm," He said with a smile, reaching up to brush his fingers over the jutting finials there, before dropping his hands to settle lightly over Misfire's chest. "I like your frame, the colors of it. I like your-"
Before he could finish, Misfire was surging forward, knocking their helms together and nearly bruising the mesh of their noses as he tried for, and just barely missed, Fulcrum's lips.
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👁👁👍
#just gonna go ahead and share this before i think too hard about it and chicken out lol#idk. this has been sitting unfinished for a while now. but i'm fond of it and keep going back to re-read it. so?? yeah. idk#maybe i'll get around to finishing it. i like writing out all the like. sensory stuff with this. lots of neat stuff to try with em fields#also fulc being a very earnest drunk lol. and mis trying to be all casual and smooth despite balking in the face of it bcs he's a hot mess#i dunno. i think the og idea behind this was kinda turning the reassurance around to mis. just sorta breaking him down with nice words#fulc is usually on the receiving end of comfort and reassurance. not always. but enough so that it had me thinking bout it other ways round#idk. ultimately its like. just slapping mis with a mild praise kink and seeing what happens when fulc just says nice things to him#the bar is so low for them. fulc is like 'i like your face' with conviction and mis is half-way to keeling over bcs. damn. he needed that#my fav flavor of this is just them approaching romance from two drastically different angles. not on the same page. different books lol#mis plays it all like a surface level game. he's just trying to keep things light and airy. but fulc is going right for the kill#also hitting fulc with the demi romantic/sexual beam adds another fun layer to it all-#-this isnt his playing field. but he's sure as hell winning without really knowing why#ok. i've been up for way too long. was on sick dog duty overnight. its like 8am now and i haven't slept a wink lol#so if there's errors or smth sounds off. idk. pretend you didn't see it. ill fix it later. or i wont. idk. toodles <333#(also this is barely the tip of the iceberg fic wise. depending on how i feel bout this after a nap? might share bits of the big ghost fic-#(-cause that ones at like. 24k-ish now??? and thats only the 1st chap and half of the 2nd. its the fulc sees ghosts concept on steroids)#fulfire#my writing
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I’ve decided. Turn and Burn (the Carlos horse girl fic) is gonna get a rewrite/revamp once I’m done with The Lone Ranger. It’s gonna be the second installment of my Rangers spinoff fic. It will be both a direct continuation of the Lone Ranger and set up for some other stuff on down the line.
#911 lone star#911 lone star fic#my fic#my fic updates#I have A LOT of fics planned for this Ranger spinoff fan fic series#quote unquote season 1 is gonna include the Lone Ranger which will probably be done being posted by April#it’s looking like it’s gonna be about 7 chapters#and if I update weekly and my math is correct April seems about right#it will be followed by turn and burn which will be several chapters and will probably put us into late May#then I’ve got a short maybe 2 or three chapter Ashlyn vs TK PTA fic which will put us in June#the PTA fic will sent up for the undercover fic that I’ve posted bits of#that one will be a minimum of 5 chapters so it’ll probably stretch from July to August#there will be an at least two week hiatus the end of July beginning of August cause I will be at Pennsic war (SCA event)#then I’ll try to hop right back to it#I’m gonna try to come up with some fun filler episode stuff#then the quote unquote season will wrap probably in September with a fic where TK gets kidnapped and held hostage on a train#then I’ll probably take a breather cause holy cow#and I’m very excited about what I have planned for the quote unquote season 2 opener#now all I have to do is write all that!#my plan/hope is that I can just stock pile everything get way ahead of my posting schedule and have most of ‘season 1’ done by like May#that way I can just focus on posting/editing#and eventually maybe I’ll also start talking to some people about guest writing some ‘episodes’#but it will be a Process TM#cause I’m still gonna want the main say in what happens#and sort of take a show runner type role#and boy oh boy#I’m probably biting off more than I can chew#and thank you if you’ve stayed with me through my long rambling in the tags!#I’m excited about this but very skeptical of myself and my abilities#so we shall see what happens
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Playing the days again makes me wonder what if all Angels had a diary where they would write different things about each day and it would be showing of their different perspectives and personalities and their choices and paths of the game, it would be cute
#im not saying this as a game mechanic but like in a PLAY BARBIES WITH ME kind of way#like one Angel writing that they are happy for making a new friend or bf or another Angel complaining that they don't like Ren's behaviour#or another one writing that they fucked him on the first day and they are freaking out about it or another one that doesn't regret it#maybe another that writes poems or other doesn't like to write and just draws the highlights of their day#or maybe one that does little doodles on their diary and makes a drawing of how they remember Ren kyaaa#maybe when the days keep going it depends on Angel if they keep the same opinion as days before of changes them and writes it out#or even days where they feel so bad that they don't write at all. its interesting seeing a person's point of view through journaling and#how it speaks about their character. or maybe not! maybe it doesn't say anything at all. somuch to thing about...#ok i'll shut up. idk if this is an original idea (probably not) but if someone want to do it after reading this go ahead. we are free#i kind of want to do that with Eli it would be funs#i have been trying to write in a diary myself bc my days feel the same and im forgeting stuff in a concerning way but i can't do it#bc of my fear of people invading my private space. i feel someone is behing me watching. but i remain silly...i dont car#but maybe doing this with my ocs could help me in a way. or maybe not. but it will be fun#<- has a lot of things to finish but keeps having ideas. can i has one (1) lobotomy please#silly squeaking time
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OKAY, WHO ABANDONED A TWO CHESPIN IN THE POKEANI WORLD
#actually three if you count that 'wild' quilladin but still#watching the volcanion movie for the first time (properly) and i saw a chesnaught and quilladin in the whatever plateau#like c'mon they aren't that hated right??#also whoever abandoned that gulpin will take these hands#are they the best? no. but something that squibby does not deserve hate#silv.ex#anyways life is busy but we keep trucking on (not me) (legit why is there so much work this year??) (i did not pay for this)#(also ngl but volcanion movie isn't that great imo. like yeah volcanion there is a lot of flowery language and sentiments here#and not enough of anyone other than ash. even though ash is stuck with the could've-been-steel type for like half the movie)#(also /such/ a missed opportunity for clemont here. idk he barely did much here. why are movies allergic for non-ash screentime??#at least advanced had a may movie and a max movie. number 1000 for why advanced wins btw.#ig with this thought we can also say that diancie could've been aimed for serena - with the whole expectations#and having a journey for the fun of it and having that potential inside of you and all that stuff#and hoopa with ash because of the whole strength but at the cost of transforming yourself debate... bad experiences in the past...#while still remembering the good times and forging ahead....)#anyways i think i'm onto something here#(still can't forget how ash straight up dismissed serena that one time with the new clothes lol)
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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.
#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work#like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like#their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’#rambling#I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running#referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh#zines make me feel so anxious man#it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward…#another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail#and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either…#they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing#their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks#we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks#it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk#they were the mod for the zine too#I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to#there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro#i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway#I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed#I#Guess it didn’t make its money back#or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book#I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free#if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free
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“Wait, so this is why other people always have their priorities straight? Work and fun feel similar to them? The same sort of brain chemical release?”
“Because like, if skateboarding feels the same as doing homework, WHY skateboard? I could just walk for exercise and then do homework.”
“This is why everyone pretty much is expected to grow up and be a boring adult.”
“Well, I refuse to join the ranks. But…I recognize there’s a time and place for fun. I just have to carve out that place myself apparently.”
“I think I know how to manage my time now…tentatively. And how to regulate when I take my meds and when I don’t.”
#alvin seville#alvin and the chipmunks#alvinnn and the chipmunks#alvin 2.0#alternate universe#aatc#adhd meds#adhd problems#tasks#workaholic#i love my crazy brain#but I want to make it work in my favor#and I still want to enjoy fun stuff#I hate that work and fun feel identical on meds.#but it makes homework a lot more tolerable#I miss the rush#so I’ll just…let myself have the rush again#Now that I’m FINALLY caught up and ahead again#maybe….maybe trying to constantly stay all caught up is the problem#maybe I just have to accept that I’m gonna have alphabet soup grades for life#anyway#rambles#trying to decide if I need dopamine today or if I wanna try and make my own through daydreams#I probably need it#but I PROMISE PROMISE MYSELF I’ll have fun this weekend
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Today was beautiful, I got whiskey, vodka, bacardi razz, 4 coffees, tarot cards and attention on my selfie from the right people
#i lowkey take the last one back bc now i have a random guy in my fb dms 🙄#BUT tons of likes from the girlies and from a bassist who's been into me for a year now lmao#and most importantly views from MY bassist and his singer 🥰 got a like notification from bass man but when i clicked on it it disappeared#developing a complex about how every time i post something he's one of the first people to see it#also i found out he's sick now 😭 i've been manifesting him daily and idk if that's a normal reaction to his brain being rewired or smth#anyway i hope he'll feel better soon bc they still have 13 gigs in a row ahead before they're playing one more in nyc#from other ppl's posts i saw he wasn't even able to stay after shows the last couple of nights apparently#btw i got all the liquor for €40 which sounds like a lot but for the size of the bottles and how much you can mix with them it's cheap#like at bars that's how much you pay for 5 cocktails if you're lucky#as for the tarot cards i'll still annoy the bestie asking her for readings but now i got my own!!!#the missing piece for basic spiritual stuff 🙏🏻 don't really have specific crystals but hey i can work with that and candles#fun fact i was jokingly accused of witchcraft by this band's roadie when last year i asked if he'll be there for this tour#and mentioned that i had just talked to ppl about how i wished they would come back to europe and they announced it a few days later#he went like 'was this your coven of witches' and while it actually wasn't really i'm gonna prove it to them now lol#seems to work slowly but surely but we'll see! alexa play i'm a believer by the monkees#mel talks
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdbfD4aXAAAFk1n?format=jpg&name=medium
from the writers room...that sounds very promising.....
!! Nice!
#i've been a notetaker / writers assistant in a couple of rooms before#ours are a lot smaller but they're pretty fun although super exhausting#one of the ones i was in was for a biographical mini series with someone who was / is stil alive and very famous#who was doing the most insane stuff to try and stop the show from getting made#only to literally two weeks ahead of pre-production decide he'd let them make it but wanted clearance on everything#and he basically red-penned the lot of it and all three scripts had to be re-written in two weeks#the show ended up being terrible as a result#it's kind of a bummer because the guy's life is a super interesting one but you'd never know it from the show#anyway that's a tangent haha#but yes! this is exciting :-)#iwtv s3 bts
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