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inkskinned · 7 months

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for the longest time my family used to host one of the biggest haunted houses on my block: elaborate, themed amateur haunts that pearled out along our lawn for one-night-only. spinning circus wheel-of-terrors and walkthrough alien crash-landings and spiders that arched over our driveway, leaking venom onto your feet.

we didn't have a lot of money; and honestly i don't know how we afforded what we did have. there were not going to be pneumatics or projectors or any supply over 20 dollars - and even 20 was a stretch. we were lucky, and we lived in a town that had a "swap shed", where people would drop off any banged-up-but-usable items that they wanted to get rid of. the whole year, my family would pick over someone else's discarded fans and lights and weird decorations, asking each other - what do you think? for halloween?

we would strip the motors out of rusted fans and spraypaint vases and saw broom handles in half and apply a very thick coat of cardboard and duct tape to everything. for our pirate year, i made the mistake of individually drawing woodgrain onto each strip of cardboard that made up the ship. i then gently painted and distressed the "boards" so they'd each have lichen and cracks and unusual patterns. i hid eyes in the knots and shaped skulls. you couldn't see any of it in the dark, even under our "spotlight" (someone's target-branded workshop flashlight).

i have a lot of very strange skills as a result. i know how to make a flying ghost appear both physically and in the mirror. i know how to make a witch's brew that stirs itself. i know how to burn and cut and paint until there is an iron throne you can sit on, or an alien brushing your ankles, or a hearse trundling along. i can't say we ever made it beyond our local newspapers, but we tried so hard that the town would regularly shut down our street.

i can't put any of these skills on a resume, and i haven't been able to put them to use for a while. i live in an apartment, there's no lawn for me to decorate. for years i've wanted to do an alice in wonderland theme, and have been collecting ideas like coins in a fountain. at other houses, i am transfixed by 12 foot skeletons and paper mache spooky lanterns; easily wooed by the knowledge of how much time people put in.

someone asked me once - so what was the point? and why didn't you guys charge anything to show up?

in truth, we probably needed the money. for years there, we were a 1-meal-a-day kind of a family. i was being polite earlier up in this essay: we furnished both our house and our halloweens using things left a recycling center. we live in new england and still didn't turn on the heat until the end of november, no matter how low the temperature.

every year we would collect donations for unicef and other charities. on an average year, we would collect enough to pay for our food for weeks. every year, without fail: we donated every penny.

this endeavor took months to plan and design and execute. we had to organize any volunteers and check safety and hope-for-the-best. it took at least 24 hours to set up, a week to take down. the motors and fans and lights all had to be packed tight. the cardboard would scatter, pangea in the rain and sleet. i remember picking up a plank from that pirate ship, the paint blown clear off, all my hard work completely erased. a new kind of driftwood.

if this was a poem, and not a memory, i could wrap this up prettily. i could say that these skills landed me a cool job in the haunting industry or that it taught me the value of friendship and responsibility. but i actually think it's something better, something very pretty: there wasn't ever a moral to it.

the night was a long one. yes, there were assholes, people who broke stuff. but mostly it was just kids like us in cardboard costumes, dressed as an incredibly niche kind of truck. good parents who were friendly and laughing. teenagers who slunk in at late hours, wide-eyed and secretly delighted; who asked us can i help next year? like, do y'all take volunteers, or whatever? every year more people came, and told their friends, and offered to pay. and every year we said maybe next year and meant absolutely never.

we did it because it was enough to love something, and to make that love visible. we did it because there is very rarely an excuse to have fun. i think maybe especially, for me - we did it because every year, there was one first "customer" somewhere around 3-4PM, while we were still putting on the final touches. the sun would still be up, and we were frazzled and always-running-late, and these kids saw our vision unfinished in the bright light of day.

something about their parents murmuring say thank you and telling my mom this setup is so sweet while this little kid would grin up at us, dazzled by our artistic mediocrity. the fall air and the chill and their coat-over-a-panda-princess-costume. that first phrase of the night awkwardly managed over a pair of overly-large vampire teeth: a beautiful and excited trick or treat!

#wholesome #happy halloween #writeblr #just something to maybe warm ur heart in these times #my parents also usually let me take nov 1st off #this is the first year in like 20 years im not taking it off bc it became like a family holiday #i regret not taking it off but alas. capitalism.

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scarlettohairdye · 1 month

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Home Ownership Was a Mistake

This is for @trickybonmot, who may or may not use some of these stories in a fic.

Okay. So.

In the year of our lord 2010, my wife and I were lucky enough to be gifted $20k by my parents, which in those days (given it was a historically low point for real estate prices in Seattle) was enough for a down payment on a house. It was an astounding confluence of luck and privilege that led to us being homeowners, because if they gave us the same money now it would go precisely nowhere.

Anyway, it was not enough money for a large house, or a fancy house. We looked at a lot of places, only some of which were move-in ready (and one of which was absolutely just a tear-down) and eventually settled on our current place, which is a 1910 bungalow with a detached garage that was finished and turned into a studio.

Was it the most aesthetically pleasing house when we bought it? No. The walls were white, the carpet was light beige, and the paint had seen better days. That said, it was move-in ready and the owner was pretty desperate to sell, so we took it!

The inspector let us know that some of the wiring was still the old knob-and-tube, so we'd want that updated sooner rather than later, but it looked pretty good. About half the outlets were grounded, so it didn't stop us from plugging in three-prong appliances. We just had to use more extension cords than maybe we'd prefer.

The Electrical

The first big house thing we paid for was to have the entire place rewired. Our circuit breaker was a mystery, we didn't have enough outlets, and we were tired of being stuck with specific layouts of our stuff due to the lack of grounded outlets. We were expecting about half the wiring to be up to code, and the rest would need an update.

Spoiler alert: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

The rewiring took about a week, and every morning the electrician sat down with us and told us what new fire trap he'd uncovered.

"Yeah, so the knob and tube wiring going to the lights in the ceiling? Knob and tube gets hot when it's running, and yours is under three layers of insulation."

"You know how you thought your outlets were grounded? They weren't, actually, the ground wire just went elsewhere into the house and wasn't connected to anything."

"So there's wiring in your crawlspace? Whoever put that in nailed some sheets of wood paneling over it, so we had to rip the wood paneling out to access it."

I think the job was about $15k when it was done, we had many many more outlets, and our house was no longer one bad day from lighting itself on fire. Victory, I guess?

The Studio Window

This was leaking a bit, and we knew it was leaking when we moved in. (South facing walls get all the weather in our region.) We were not handy enough to replace it ourselves at the time and we also didn't have money because I got laid off shortly after we bought the house and was making my living doing costume commissions. Solution: Trade costuming work to an acquaintance who did carpentry.

The window, we discovered, was not so much a finished window as it was a single sheet of glass sandwiched between some boards.

Badly.

The carpenter was not entirely she that she was qualified for the job, but she did manage to remove the single sheet of glass and replace it with a window that was insulated and actually capable of opening. She used caulk around it. It was way better than we had before. Maybe someday we'll have both studio windows replaced by a contractor who actually does windows, but this is not that day!

The Siding

The cedar shingles were no longer cutting it at a certain point, so we had the house resided. (Houses are money pits, in case you didn't know.) This was a $30k job (MONEY PIT!) and had several layers of badness.

Bad: Our house had no insulation. It was cedar shingles over the original siding, with nothing in between that original siding and our INTERIOR WALLS. There was occasionally a newspaper. Our PM asked if we wanted insulation? And we said yes, please!!! We did not have a lot of time to think about insulation or research the best type, so it's just sheets of the pink fiberglass stuff in there, but it exists and we have it now!

Worse: Underneath our laundry room was a horrorshow. The laundry room is an addition that was added to our house probably sometime in the 50s? And, uh...

Well, the siding guys pulled off the siding, took a look at what was under it, and immediately called the project manager. The project manager came out, took a look, and then called us. He said that the siding guys thought it really needed to be reinforced and stabilized before they re-sided it, which is very fair, because I think the people who built it originally were drunk when they did it. It was a fucking Wild West cowboy construction situation under there.

Yes, you heard that right: A LOAD-BEARING SHINGLE.

Our project manager also informed us that the siding guys couldn't do the reinforcement, because they're just siding guys. They don't do structural. This is very fair.

It also needed to be done by Monday so we could stay on schedule for the siding work.

We learned this on Friday.

I immediately called my general contractor dad and got his voicemail, because (I remembered belatedly) he was in Mexico getting dental surgery. There was absolutely no way we could get another contractor out to do the work over a single weekend.

It was up to us.

My wife and I (mostly my wife) went HAM on it. We rented big jacks from the tool library to prop the laundry room up while we replaced one of the entirely rotten support poles. One of the big telephone poles was so wrecked with dry rot we could kick it out of place. (It didn't even touch the BIG ROCK that was supposed to be its foundation!!! It was floating!!!) Several of the joists were also fucked, so we ran new joists alongside them and married them together. My wife dug holes while crouched in a 4' high space, filled the holes with gravel, compacted it by putting a piece of wood on top of it and hitting it with a mallet, and then installed an entire additional support system from 4x4s and deck blocks. She actually attached the support system TO THE FUCKING HOUSE, which was a big improvement from the way it was originally held on by vibes and paint.

Here's a tasty little before and after:

(Yeah, see how that visible joist at the front just... stops at the far left? There's a new joist right behind it now.)

This was completed with resounding cries of, "Good enough!" and "It's better than it was before!" The siding guys thought it was fine and sided over it. Someday hopefully we will be able to afford to tear the whole thing down and rebuild it with a properly poured foundation, but in the meantime the spin cycle on the washing machine no longer shakes the whole house. Victory?!

Ridiculous: The purple paint saga. My wife and I are lesbians who tend toward maximalism in our decoration style. Construction companies find this baffling. We paid extra to our siding company to get the extended color choices (if you order the siding with the color baked in it lasts longer, but you're limited to a particular range of colors) and spoiler alert: 90% of them are boring as fuck. We basically paid extra to have access to 400 shades of white and 400 more shades of beige. There were like three saturated colors in the whole book. Pathetic.

Anyway, we chose the one nice teal that was available and decided we'd paint the door purple, since all the purple colors were gray at best. The project manager then forgot to put in our order, and when he remembered he'd forgotten, ordering our siding through his company would have pushed back the start time by six weeks. We could still make the original start time if we ordered through a different company doing the same thing, though!

Me, immediately: And we wouldn't be restricted to your color palette, right? Him: Yeah, they can do custom colors. Me, slapping down a color card called "Fully Purple": MAKE IT PURPLE.

Bless this man, he went to the siding company and asked for Fully Purple. They told him they couldn't do that color, and also is he sure anyone wants this color? He called them on the phone and informed them yes, we did want that color, and also that he'd worked for them and he knew damn well they could do that color, they'd just have to custom mix it, so they needed to do their fucking jobs. Suitably chastened, they finally sent us a sample of the siding, and it was... okay. It was purple for sure, but a little de-saturated. Not the purple of our hearts.

I asked if they'd actually started manufacturing our siding yet or just sent the color sample. The project manager confirmed they hadn't, and if we ordered this imperfectly-purple siding now, it would be several weeks before we could get started.

"We're gonna paint," I decided, and our project manager put in the orders.

The paint store called him and said, "Hey, are you sure you want this color?" Yes, he assured them, that's the right color.

The guys doing the painting opened up the can and then called him and said, "Are you sure this color?" and he told them yes! They want that color!

At this point I told him he should just start responding with, "They're lesbians!!! Yes! They want the purple! They're lesbians!!!"

Eventually we cleared every hurdle god and the construction industry put in front of us, and now our house is Fully Purple.

It also has insulation, wiring that won't kill us, and a laundry room that hopefully won't collapse anytime soon. We got a heat pump installed that took shockingly little time and worked immediately, and our next project will be having the roof redone. Check back in to find out what fresh horror awaits us then! I think it'll be a second roof under our existing roof made of lead and asbestos tiles, probably!

#home improvement #it's a nightmare #choices were made #they were bad

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secretsofblackthornhall · 2 years

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Ty to Dru

Hello Dru,

I’m back from London, and Julian and Emma told me to tell you “hello” and also “they send their love.” But that is not the important part of the letter, which is later. But you shouldn’t skip to that part, I will explain why soon.

Blackthorn Hall is actually pretty cool. It’s big and it’s old, and lots of parts don’t work properly yet, but Emma and Jules have done a lot to make it nice. There’s lots of bedrooms. I picked out one for me, which they called the “gray bedroom,” but honestly all the bedrooms are kind of gray. They said it’s so we can paint them if we want, they’ll be our rooms and we can decorate them how we like.

You’ll have to pick out the one you want when you visit, but I found one that I bet will be your favorite. It overlooks the gardens which I think will be the last thing to get fixed up, and so will continue to look creepy for a while. There are all these broken statues with plants grown over them, like they were trying to kill the statues. Like they succeeded in killing the statues. It looks like if you went walking down there the vines would wrap around you and pull you underground. You’ll love it.

I didn’t sleep well before we traveled to London and now I think it was because I was worried. Anush says our bodies often tell us how we are feeling even when our minds aren’t conscious of it. Like feeling nauseated before an important test. You probably know what I mean.

But it was good. Especially to see Jules and Emma. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them until I saw them. I think I felt it like Anush says, like a weird pressure in my chest that went away when Jules hugged me. Maybe it’s the same for you. Or maybe you already know how much you miss them. Anyway I thought it was important to say I also miss you and it’ll be nice when we can all be in the same house together again. I think Irene will like it there too.

Ragnor’s map did actually help, so it was good he came. He found a couple of places in London to check for more of those cursed objects, so that’s one step closer to un-cursing the house. I know, it would be cool to live in a cursed house. But it wouldn’t be fair to Rupert the Ghost, since he’s trapped there because of the curse. And anyway there’s all this renovation work that the builders won’t do until the curse is lifted. And it would be good if the house’s roof didn’t leak. That might be a little too gloomy even for you.

Now we’ve talked about the bedrooms, the house, and Ragnor, so if anyone asks you can tell them those are the things we discussed. We are now at the part of the letter where I have to tell you important things but I wanted you to have information you could share in case someone asked you if you had heard from me. I mean, if someone important asks you. If someone we don’t know asks you, Anush says you can say “Make like a tree and leave,” which I don’t understand but he says will definitely work.

So, the important part. Rupert the Ghost. I wasn’t really thinking when I wrote up above that it will be nice for us to all be together. I mean, it will be, but it’s not quite that simple, at least for me. See…Rupert saw Livvy. She wasn’t hiding or anything, and she didn’t act surprised that he saw her. But I’ve spent so much time worried about other, you know, living people finding out about her. It hadn’t even occurred to me that of course there are ghosts everywhere, all over the world, and they’ll all know she’s there. The ghosts here at the Scholomance know about her, of course, but Edvard and Prudence keep to themselves and nobody really pays attention to either of them. Prudence is always in the library pretending to shelve books (or actually shelving ghost books, I can’t tell) and Edvard paces slowly through the halls and barely ever talks. Sometimes he moans, but that’s just him complaining.

Rupert and Livvy had a couple of conversations with just the two of them, I guess about ghost stuff. She says she made him promise that he wouldn’t say anything about seeing her, but ghosts can lie. So what if he says something to Emma or Julian? What if he can tell that something is weird with the way Livvy is a ghost and he mentions that?

The thing is, it’s not just Rupert. Even if he stays quiet, I already almost made Emma suspicious by talking to Livvy myself. I had to tell her I was talking to you on the phone. I know about Rupert and I know about Edvard and Prudence, but there could be ghosts anyplace I go, and if someone else is there and they start interacting with Livvy I’m going to have to explain. I got used to Edvard and Prudence ignoring her but Rupert drifted right into the bedroom and asked her who she was.

Livvy says I shouldn’t worry. She reminds me that any Shadowhunter can see ghosts who want to be seen, like Edvard and Prudence, but that it’s much harder to see a ghost who doesn’t want to be seen, and that’s most ghosts. She says Rupert wanted to be seen — first by Emma and Jules and then by Livvy and me, though only Livvy's seen him really clearly— but if he didn’t, I’d never have known he was there. She says she’s able to hide herself from almost all people (even Jace, and he has latent ghost-seeing powers), and even able to hide herself from a lot of ghosts. And that even if they do see her, they won’t necessarily know who she is, it’s not like ghosts can just identify each other. And she says if she has to, she’ll just lie to them.

She said a lot of reassuring things. But it still gave me a cold feeling, which I think is my body telling my brain that I’m afraid. If Julian and Emma found out about Livvy, they wouldn’t just be angry. They’d feel like they had to do something, like lay her to rest. People don’t think ghosts can be happy, but Livvy is happy. She helps me with work and she tells me advice for Anush (he has a crush on Rayan’s sister Nasha) and when we’re alone we play games or I read to her. She can’t do everything but why would being all the way dead be better? Everyone calls it “rest” but no one really knows, do they?

Maybe you have ideas. Tell me if you have ideas.

Love,

Tiberius

#sobh #ty blackthorn #dru blackthorn #rupert blackthorn #jace herondale #ghosts #livvy blackthorn #anush joshi

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kremlin · 7 months

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An earnest call for your support: Help me determine if there is a gas leak in my house.

for a long time now, I have been reading and hearing about This Guy on the news, and have been reading all the articles and stories about him:

Above: Sam, tenting his weird-ass fucked up fingers like a real Wall Street Guy might do in a movie he saw

Yep, you already know this guy, his name is Sam, I'll be referring to him as Sam, as that is his first name, and not by his initials, which is what I imagine a pod person might do in an attempt to emulate human behaviour. Whatever. You already know him and what he did, I won't waste your time. Listen. Pay attention. This is not a post about this guy or what he did. That shit is boring as fuck. This is a post about a potential gas leak in my house. We'll get to that in just a bit. Remember.

I've read all the articles and all the op-eds and everything. About Sam. Let us explore the entire spectrum of media coverage of Sam and Sam's Big Ass Problem, starting from the bottom, with the worm-food-tier jackasses: What do people like Jim Cramer and Shark Tank Guy have to say about him?

Above: CNN's "Mad Money" Jim Cramer also doing a weird hand gesture while he tells your alcoholic cable-news-addicted uncle to put his money in some dumbass shit

Above: I think this is the Shark Tank guy? I don't remember his name. Could have sworn his suit had dollar signs and not question marks (?)

I'll summarize their conclusions: "Sam is a boy genius who is super duper smart and can move objects with his massive brain due to knowing about Tech, FinDom FinTech, and computer money, specifically Money Coding. Unfortunately Sam committed massive fraud and will get his ass fucked in federal court".

Moving on from the worm-food-tier to the mediocre-tier: The totally nameless basic bitch journalists at the New York Times or Bloomberg. What do these assholes have to say?

Above: Jim Fuckface, associate financial correspondent for Bloomberg. Jim enjoys winding down on a Friday afternoon by sipping a Bud Lite Lime and wearing his baseball cap backwards, which bears the logo of his local professional sports team.

Above: Kate Fuckface, columnist at the New York Times. Kate enjoys spending her time chatting and interacting with her friends on Social Media Platforms like Facebook and Instagram, as well as purchasing items on Etsy

I'll summarize their conclusions: "Displaying the characteristic awkwardness of incredible technical and financial genius, it was clear to me during our interview that Sam's depth of knowledge truly knew no bounds. Unfortunately Sam committed massive fraud and will get his ass fucked in federal court."

Finally moving on to the people that might actually have a clue about what they're talking about. Sam Levine and Michael Lewis:

Above: Matt Levine, author of a comedy email newsletter named Money Stuff that is 95% financial information by weight and somehow still usually funny as fuck.

Above: Michael Lewis, author of a bunch of really good books you haven't read that were made into pretty decent movies you have seen: Moneyball and The Big Short.

I'll summarize their conclusions: "Sam sure is a smart kid and seems to know a whole lot about economics and this digital currency, and I mean a whole lot, and even more about business, accounting, and finance. Bright kid! Unfortunately Sam committed massive fraud and will get his ass fucked in federal court."

A pretty goddamn clear consensus across the board on both counts.

I listened to the interviews the entire spectrum of people listed above conducted with him -- the ones during which they unanimously concluded how smart he is. I listened to many hours of ad-hoc, unscripted Twitter Space calls he participated in, where he fielded questions about his fraud and his business with complete strangers. I listened to them very carefully. And here is my problem! I came to a different conclusion!

Sam is a fucking moron. I am not talking about solely his intellect, or solely his decision-making abilities, or any specific criteria. I am talking about all of them.

There are two possibilities:

(A) I am correct and, somehow, literally everyone else is incorrect, most of whom know vastly more about these topics than I do

(B) There is a fucking gas leak in my house and I have completely lost all cognitive abilities, suddenly and unwittingly, and exist in a cartoon reality inside my skull that would allow me to reach such a wildly different conclusion from the same evidence.

The likelihood of (A) being correct is very nearly 0%. I mean, come on. I am not fucking around when I tell you how troubling this is for me. I wrote earlier that this isn't a post about Sam or his bullshit. This is a post asking for your help in determining whether I have lost my god damn marbles.

I'll give Sam one thing -- he has some nominal ability to bullshit. If he's writing a Tweet, or making a short statement, he can finesse his words that, on some level, mask how much of a dimwit he is. He absolutely can't do that through about six hours of unscripted interviews. Listen to that shit. Listen.

I am going to go check all the joints in the gas lines in my house as well as the ports on my stove and heater. I'll come back and write a follow-up post on outlining exactly why I think homeboy is an idiot. While I do that, please, go listen to the interviews and tell me what you think.

#words

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sepublic · 1 year

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OWL HOUSE ANIMATED TEST LEAKED?!!?!

ALL RIGHT SO THE ORIGINAL ANIMATED TEST GOT LEAKED?! This is an animated test btw, a proof-of-concept of what TOH could look like, according to the person who posted this; The actual pilot still eludes us!

What we get and hear are more or less what we've already glimpsed and could guess at, just expanded a bit more; Luz wants to learn magic, Eda is skeptical, that sort of thing. What's interesting is that Luz claims King told HER he once knew magic, but based on how the final story went, this was probably one of his made-up delusions. He also has a lot more repressed, built-up anger from being coddled and patronized, which would've been interesting to see...

I wonder if that trait ended up transferring over to Proto Willow; Or rather, Paulina! I heard someone suggest the spelling is Polina since it's Slavic and TOH is based on Slavic myth, but for now, let's keep it simple. Paulina would def start off the same way as our Willow; Not doing well in magic, and messing up (this time on Luz herself, hilariously), but I presume the idea for her to shift to plant magic as her true calling was still there. Not only do we see this in earlier concept art, but a later bit with one of Paulina's plants harassing Luz. And she still has the issue of glowing green magic that she can't quite control...

We get Prince William, who shows up when Luz mentions the most 'powerful wizards', more on him later. It's generally speculated and agreed that William is a prototypical version of Hunter, so I find it neat that Paulina's name changed to Willow, as William became Hunter...

There's a glimpse of the Owl House's original design, as seen in the first proof-of-concept poster released back when the show was announced in 2018, with Eda's shop built into the front of the building! The tower doesn't have a roof, and the giant eye window blinks, which was carried over to the first episode's ending. We have some Spencer Wan concept animations he released a while back, but fully colored and animated... A Luz Doppelgänger seems to have always been an idea, so I guess the creepy puppet is Proto Vee?

THIS! We have what I suspect to be a prototype version of Emperor Belos, possibly when he was advisor to Emperor Pupa? I'm not sure, but the context, the blue eyes in darkness, the mask... Their location in what seems to be a cathedral, plus the resemblance to this concept art for Belos?

This is Proto-Belos. Him taking Eda away in what resembles a cathedral seems to indicate that his Christian extremist-leanings were a thing as early as this animated pitch, and what's more...

In the stained-glass window behind Luz, we see a portrait of Sir William, complete with that wavy-styled sword that resembles the knife Philip killed Caleb with! This raises so many questions... Is the Sir William we see here the real deal? Was he deposed and put into a slumber by Belos, the way Pupa would've been? And William is the true ruler of the isles?

Would William have been Belos' brother, his Caleb, hence the round human ears? Why does he look so young, was he de-aged, or is he a clone, a Grimwalker that was abandoned for not being sufficient, and/or discovered in an 'incubation' stage when Luz slapped him awake? I presume this concept of Hunter, who is actually referred to by this name, came later down the line;

Overall, very fascinating stuff! A better glimpse into the development of Willow, Belos, and Hunter(?) as well as an older idea for King's personality, and of course a better look at the original Owl House design shown in 2018! Brief yet wonderful and to the point, we've seen most of the stuff from this pitch as silent clips or images, but I'm glad to have it as part of a cohesive narrative this time! May we one day find the actual pilot itself...!

#the owl house #luz noceda #willow park #the owl house hunter #emperor belos #philip wittebane #concept

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saphronethaleph · 8 days

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Visiting Time

The front door opened with a crash.

“Sonic!” a voice shouted. “You’re not getting away this time!”

Tails lifted his welding mask, and turned off the torch. Then he hopped out of his garage, and into the main living area of their house.

“Hi, Silver,” he said.

“Tails!” Silver replied, waving. “Great to see you again. Where’s Sonic? I’m here to pay him back for what he did!”

“He’s out at the moment, not sure where,” Tails replied, shrugging. “What did he do, exactly? There’s a lot of stuff it could be…”

“You mean he’s been doing a lot of stuff he needs to pay for?” Silver asked, going over to one of the sofas and sitting down.

Tails shrugged. “No, not really, but he’s done a lot of stuff, and a lot of that could get misinterpreted! That’s the way it usually works, like with the Iblis Trigger or when Shadow got mistaken for him.”

Silver frowned. “Iblis Trigger?”

“I don’t actually know myself, but my research turned up a note from myself!” Tails replied. “It was back last time we broke time… no, maybe the time before last time?”

He scratched his head, then shook it. “Anyway, Sonic isn’t the Iblis Trigger, I’m supposed to tell you that. How’s the future, by the way?”

“You know, same old, same old,” Silver said. “Hey, can I get a mug of cocoa?”

Tails blurred into the kitchen and began mixing some up. “So… post apocalypse?”

“That’s same old, same old, for you,” Silver concurred readily. “This time I guess it’s global warming?”

“Huh,” Tails frowned. “I was pretty sure my Ring Energy Generators would prevent that, by using clean energy instead of fossil fuels. Any specifics?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing to do with fossil fuels,” Silver shrugged. “When I said warming, I meant literally. Volcanic eruptions and lava and stuff.”

“Oh!” Tails said. “I guess we might need to talk to Chip and see if he knows what’s going on… so what do you think Sonic has done, exactly?”

Silver floated over the cocoa and took a sip. “Man, you’re good at that… anyway, he built a giant robot and was using it to attack people.”

Tails gave him a perplexed look.

“Okay, look,” Silver began. “I know that realistically speaking it was probably actually Eggman who did it. But you know Sonic, the best way to get him to help out is to challenge him to a battle and then work from there.”

“I have trouble arguing with that,” Tails said, flicking both his tails, then snapped his fingers. “Oh, hold on a minute! I have something I’ve been working on to try and help with this kind of thing!”

He scampered off into his workshop, and Silver shrugged before drinking some cocoa.

A minute or so later, Tails came back with an odd-looking contraption.

“This is a recent project!” Tails explained, flicking some switches, and a little generator thingummy began to spin faster and faster with an ascending whiiiiir sound. “Aaand… there we go!”

Silver leaned in to see what was going on.

“...so, what does it do, exactly?” he asked.

“It detects inconsistencies in the fabric of space and time!” Tails explained, both his namesake tails flicking back and forth. “I got the idea after Sonic told me about this one time where I never met him and I ended up making myself cyborg tails. And this other time where I was a pirate. And, well, all the other times we’ve messed with that kind of thing… anyway, it detects where parallel lines of time are resonating with our own timeline, and identifies the points where our own history is being driven off course, because a different world is leaking into our own through a micro-hole to a universe only a few picometres in the ana or kata direction.”

Silver frowned.

“I’m not exactly an expert on temporal mechanics, but that sounds extremely specific,” he said. “How could you possibly identify those?”

“Well, it was easy enough once I had a big enough sample set,” Tails shrugged. “Which took about a month. Anyway, uh… okay… there we go!”

He pointed to the screen. “See here? Your personal timeline intersects with Sonic’s timeline in about a week, and you’re carrying one of the Chaos Emeralds at the time. The… yellow one, I think.”

Silver rummaged in his quills, and brought out a blue Chaos Emerald. “The blue one, actually.”

“That must be it!” Tails declared. “You need to bring the yellow one instead, because otherwise you and Sonic are going to be trying to go Super with two blue Emeralds and no yellow one. Once you’ve done that, that should fix the timeline until the next time it breaks.”

“Huh,” Silver mused, draining the last of his cocoa. “I guess that makes sense… I’d better go and find the yellow one instead. And work out what to do with the few weeks I’ll get to enjoy being in a non post apocalypse.”

Tails gave him a thumbs-up. “No problem! This just shows the value of my P.L.O.T. hole detector!”

#miles tails prower #silver the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #time travel #bad puns

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angelisgonnastartchangingurls · 1 month

Note

tell us everything about your day yesterday

oh, ok!

i woke up at 5:30am and went out for a run. it was pretty short, 3 miles, i was back in a half hour. i got really sick a few weeks ago and my lung capacity is still not 100%, i ran five miles a few days ago and i threw up on the sidewalk.

anyway, when i got back home i paced around in the backyard for ten minutes to cool down, and then i slipped back into the house to my bedroom and woke up jake by sucking his cock. we fucked (me on top, no real foreplay, the cocksucking only lasted a few seconds and we went straight to fucking) and we came at the same time, and then i laid in bed leaking while jake got up and showered as the kids woke up. at this point it was like 6:40. i got up and made oatmeal for my kids (with blueberries!) in a robe and jake was all dressed and ready before 7, so i left him to get the kids dressed and stuff and i answered a bunch of emails. i do this now in the mornings so i can get to the office after everyone but i already have them working on stuff. LOL.

the kids were playing for a bit before school, and margot woke up, so jake made breakfast for me and margot and himself, so i ended up out there with them having coffee and chatting until 8:10, and I was still in just a robe, so Jake walked the kids to school, which is usually my job.

i got dressed (no shower, LOL. white panties, no bra, jeans and a t-shirt - very professional) and margot was making a shopping list so i tried to remember everything i needed (i forgot most of it, i always do, so i have to go to target today). and then jake got home so i kissed him goodbye and left for work. i got to the office at 9:20. i had meetings with various little teams from 10-12 and by the end of the second meeting I was very bitchy and everyone was like, "OK stop giving angel new information" which i thought was a very insightful analysis of me as a coworker.

i had coffee and two cigarettes with jane, a fairly recent hire who is like a 40s goth punk chick who reminds me a lot of ivy if ivy had never gone corporate and had a dozen babies. i love jane, she's 15 years sober from heroin and she rocks. she also compliments my waist a lot, she (like many of you lol) can't believe i pushed two kids out of my pussy.

then i walked to my friend casey's work to meet her for lunch. i don't know if i ever talked about casey. i think so? she is like 27 years old and she has a baby and a much older husband and a stepdaughter who is 19. when i was in my lexi-obsessed phase she was adjusting to returning to work with a baby in her life so we didn't hang out much but now we see each other all the time.

we had lunch at a bagel place and i was back at work by 1:45, just in time for more meetings, but these were with clients and i was nicer. the t-shirt with no bra was a very good strategic decision, one of the bigger guys at the company stared at my tits the whole time, and agreed with everything i said. i wore my hair down too and played with it a lot, you know, alternating between ditzy hair twisting and sort of gathering it and arranging it behind my back like i was about to put it into a blowjob ponytail.

N.B. the ponytail blowjob is such a stereotype/meme but i never do that. i let my hair fall all over the place when i am sucking dick. men love my hair.

i had an hour in my office during which i accomplished literally nothing. i looked at my phone and deleted some emails. that's it. then i had a meeting with my boss, and we talked exclusively about sex with our respective partners. his wife is cumming really easily lately, which on the one hand he likes and on the other hand doesn't like because she's wrapping up sex really early. he said about half the time he doesn't get beyond eating her pussy; she cums and then sucks his cock and won't stop until she's swallowed every drop. but even when they get to fucking, he said she cums in like 40 seconds and hops off to suck his cock. i told him to start slapping her clit with his cock to stop her orgasms. he said she'd get so mad at him if he did that and i said, "i would beg for more." anyway, he told me i am doing a great job with the team lately so i flashed my tits at him.

alice called me at 4 and just clearly wanted to talk at me, but i let her, it's kind of like a podcast, and so she was in my ear for the end of my work day and my ride home.

when i got home, margot and the kids were in the park, so jake fucked me in the kitchen, quick and hard, panties and jeans down, bent over the kitchen island, his hand on my clit. he came inside me again and i pulled my jeans and panties up right over the mess and walked around like that all afternoon, making dinner and catching up with everyone. dinner, did a puzzle with my daughter, bathtime for the kids, storytime, bedtime, and i just took my jeans off and relaxed on the couch with jake and margot and we watched a movie. i fell asleep on jake's shoulder after the movie was over, and he moved me over on the couch, took margot to her room, fucked her and came on her tits, took a picture of it and sent it to me, which woke me up, LOL, but i was too tired to move so i let jake come in, naked, and carry me to bed. at some point in the night i took my panties off because they were full of dried cum, and this morning i woke up next to jake, he was naked and i was in just a t-shirt, so i pushed my ass against him until he woke up and fucked me from behind nice and slow. i came twice.

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junebug-jamboree · 4 months

Text

ROLLBOTS LOST EPISODE CREEPYPASTA

Author’s note: I’ve been rewatching @indigosfindings' video about the pitfalls and virtues of creepypastas over and over again for a good long while. I found it a bit late, but it’s managed to find a spot on my endlessly rewatchables playlist. Because of all of this, I was inspired to write a creepypasta of my own in an attempt to hit almost all of the pitfalls at once. I also decided to make it about RollBots because of the line about it during the “empty replica” segment. I’ve never heard of this show, and I deliberately chose not to watch any of it in order to keep it as out of character as possible. I looked at the TV Tropes page for basic plot information and character names, but that’s it. Hopefully I did alright! :)

Quick note: This pasta has themes of murder and violence in it, and is not suitable for kids. Other than that, hope you all enjoy! :D

PART I: rollbots lost episoad Spin the Killer

I is was HUGE fan of rollbots when i was a kid, it was my favotire show ever, everyday after school i would wach it on the tv and i loved it so much. My favotire charcater was always Spin and i wanted to be just like him when i growed up. Oneday after shcool my mom took me to a garage sale at our neibors house, he was selling lots of old stuff, i was bored. I looked around and saw some old webkinz plushies, but i didnt want them because wekinz is for babys anyways. Suddnely i see a amazing sight, i see a dvd case with a familar round red charcater on it… it was a rollbots dvd!!!! I broght it to mom and sayed “mom can i buy this plz!!!!!!” mom sayed “NO” and i sayed “PLZ!!!!!” before mom could say no again the neibor comes over and says i can have it for free. I sayed “REALLY!!!!!” the neibor sayed “yes”, i was so so so happy!!! I went back home with my mom and i went to my room, i put the dvd into my mini tv, the menu had all the episoads! But thing that made me confusde is was that there was a extra episoad at the bottom of the menu,it was called “Spin the Killer”. Thats weird i thouhgt… I thouhgt the tittle of the episoad was just a glitch, I decided to wach the episoad but i shold not of wached the episoad! The begining of the episoad was just like any other it had all of the charcaters i know and love, but was diffrent was the theme song had words now. But not normal words… scary words! The words sayed in the song were “Killer spin is coming!” “You hide now! He come for you!” “Time to die!!!” i was creeped out. After the theme song it shown Flip City than it zoomed into the charcaters. Captain pounder was talking to Penny about what they were going to do today, penny sayed something about doing training to fight Vertex and the bad guys. What was weird thing was that her voice was all echoy and stuff. Suddnely Spin busts down the wall, he is holding an knife. I thouhgt that was weird because Spin is a good guy! Spin than says “Hello friends! Or should i say… GOODBYE!!!!” His eyes goes hyper rellistic and Spin then stabbes Captain pounder with his knife, black oil goes flying every where! I was so scared! Penny screams and trys to run away but then Spin pulls out a chainsaw and chasing her. Lance then come in and sayed “Spin what are doing!!!!” Spin then slice penny in half with his chain saw, covering every one in oil and sending metal parts everry where. Lance got chain swa away from spin, but Spin then pulled out a gun and sayd” You cannot stop me weakling!” Spin shoot Lance in the face, there was a hole on his four head that leaked oil. I thouhgt i was gonna throw up… Suddnely Spin looked staright at me and sayed “YOUR NEXT SAM…” the episoad ended right there. The dvd went flying out of tv and nearly cut my head of! I toke the dvd and smashed it into one millon pices, put the pices in a shoebox and burryd it in the back yard. That episoad was so scary that i didnot sleep for two days. If you see a rollbots dvd at a yard sale, DONT WACH IT!!!!! You will be scared for your life……

PART II: RollBots Lost Episode: “Spin the Killer”

I had a horribly traumatic memory from when I was a child. It involved my all-time most beloved TV show. It was a show called “RollBots,” and I watched it every day after I got home from school. The rich themes within the narrative captured my heart at a tender young age, and the characters were all well-rounded and three-dimensional; as if they were real people I could meet. Far and away, my favorite was Spin. The heroic leader of the noble bots, his mission was to keep Flip City safe from the clutches of Vertex and his army. When I was but a mere child, I greatly admired the round, red bot, and I wanted to be just like him one day. Heroic, noble, and having shoes the size of my head.

When I was about six or seven, I’m not exactly sure, I was at a yard sale with my mother, and I happened across a DVD of RollBots. The individual who was hosting the sale offered me the DVD for free; not a cent did I owe. At that moment, I felt like I was the luckiest child alive. Luckier than a five footed rabbit with fur made of four leaf clovers. Oh, how my little heart did backflips within my chest; the endorphins rushing from my brain to every other part of my tiny body. It was a high that I, in all of my years, have never been able to replicate. Not with mushrooms, weed brownies, mushroom brownies, or any other intoxicant substance. However, my RollBots related ecstasy was not meant to last.

An utterly wicked sight awaited me when I put the DVD into my TV, one that would haunt me for decades to come. A truly accursed episode of my beloved cartoon; an episode that felt as if it had crawled from the depths of the fiery underworld itself. It was as if the pixels on the TV screen were dyed from the tears of orphans, the polygons making the characters’ models carved from the calcified remains of man’s arrogance. It was not an episode of my dearest cartoon show, nay; it was a foul hallucination woven by Lucifer himself.

To this day, I haven’t, and don’t think I can, forget the sensations I felt while watching it. The sweat from my forehead seeped into the panda eared toque I wore, the wispy golden hairs on my arms stood on end, and my eyeballs went as wide as wide could go. They were like emerald colored satellites; in that they forcibly received and converted the data from the cursed episode and sent it to be branded onto the inside of my cranium. If I were to have my head cut open, the image of Spin with a knife would be found on my cerebellum; no doubt about that.

At the same time, I’d found myself at odds with my disgust, for I was deeply fascinated by this episode. I’d had an insatiable desire to know more about this episode, and who could have possibly created such an abominatious affront to Canadian CGI animation. Countless hours were poured into scouring the bowels of the internet for any information on the episode, and countless hours proved to be fruitless.

My biggest breakthrough yet came when I returned to my childhood home. When I looked out into the backyard, the memory came back to me; the memory of destroying the DVD, as if I were Hercules slaying the Hydra for the benefit of the world at large. I had sacrificed my childhood innocence by subjecting myself to such a rancid episode, and so I destroyed the only copy I knew of to prevent any other innocent souls from being snuffed out by that foul thing.

The shattered remains of the plastic disc cried out to me from their, what I assumed at the time to be, permanent, resting place. Like a moth to a flame, I found myself drawn to the voice. I got the shovel from the shed, and I dug into the earth in search of Pandora’s shoebox. Beyond the everpresent weeds, the forgotten plastic bits of toys, and the unmarked graves of hamsters long past, I found the patch of ground where not just the DVD had been laid to rest, but my own childhood innocence by proxy. The shovel tore through the soil and tossed it to the wayside as I made my way down.

The sight of the withered shoebox filled my head with emotions I thought were only perceptible to the mantis shrimp. An overwhelming sense of relief washed over me, in knowing that I hadn’t imagined the whole incident after a particularly nasty sugar binge. At the same time, I felt a strong sense of hatred for the DVD that ruined my life. I scooped up the shoebox with the gentle hands of a mother carrying her firstborn child, and I brought it with me back to my new house. Far away from the memories of the past, and into new horizons.

Once I arrived at my humble abode, I set the shoebox down on my desk. I knew what was to come from such an unholy process. Tonight, I was to take the shattered corpse of the DVD, and reanimate it. Super Glue would serve as the sutures to my very own monster, and I was to make myself into a proper Frankenstein. The task was a delicate one, so I couldn’t afford to let my emotions take me over like I did all those years ago. It was mind over matter; and I knew that logic and reason would triumph over the irrational fears of a young child. I channeled my rationality into my hands as I applied glue to every edge of the pieces of disc, unifying them once more.

20 grueling minutes passed me by, as if the time had been late for school and had rushed out the door with toast in its mouth. I looked at my finished handiwork for the first time, and I shed a single tear upon seeing the disc whole once again. It was time to face my childhood fears and play the disc one more time.

I delicately inserted the disc into the DVD slot, the euphoria of which was comparable to a night of passionate romancing with your mother. The inner workings of the machinery within my TV did what was required of them, and they read the disc without fault or error. The familiar episode layout appeared on the TV screen, and taking caution, I hovered the remote’s cursor over the last entry; the episode to end all episodes.

“Spin the Killer.”

I brought down my thumb against the play button on the remote with the same passion and fervor of a judge bringing down his gavel after sentencing a serial killer to the electric chair. I braced myself for the episode which was to come. I braced myself for all of the old wounds which were to be opened by the re-exposure to the cause of them.

To my surprise, the screen was completely blank. The TV screen was as dark as a moonless night. No stars, no sun, no galaxy. Nothing. I looked at the empty void portrayed on the screen with wide, spherical oculars. The more I observed, the more I began to see. The faint image of a red-hued sphere began to creep out of the shadows within the TV, icy blue eyes peeking out from the darkness like a tiger about to pounce on its prey. A grin crept across the round face of the red sphere, bright white teeth shattering the monotonous pitch black with their glow.

“Hello, Sam,” A voice spoke from behind me. I whipped my head around to see what the source of the voice had been.

“Or, should I say, goodbye,” the voice spoke again. This time, I knew the exact source of it. The moment I turned around, I was met with the vicious visage of the red robot that had shattered my childhood dreams.

It was Spin, live in the flesh (er, metal?), standing in front of me. In his robotic right hand was a Teruyasu Fujiwara knife, the stainless steel blade reflecting the light above in an odd fashion due to its rough-hewn texture. At that moment, I knew the last thing I would see in my short life would be the juxtaposition of the slightly bumpy texture of the blade with the delicate calligraphy on the side.

“Spin… it’s you,” I ejaculated.

“Who else would it be?” He announced as he held out his mechanical arms in a triumphant pose.

“But… Why are you here? How are you here?!” I interrogated. “You’re not real! You’re supposed to be a cartoon character!”

“I have my ways, dear,” Spin answered with a scoff and a crossing of the arms. “I’m here because I have something to say to you.”

“What is it?” I furrowed my brows in confusion. The robot cleared his throat before speaking once more.

“11 14 11 24 24 33 31 53 22 14,” he beeped in a series of mechanical whirrs.

“What does that mean?” I questioned.

“Here,” he answered, handing me a sheet of paper. “Use this.”

I carefully inspected the document he handed me. This is what it looked like.

“This makes no sense,” I articulated confusedly.

“It’s actually really simple,” Spin began. “You take the numbers I just said and run them through the cipher.” His black tipped finger pointed at the first tile of the square.

“I said 11, so that means you look at the square with 1 on the top and 1 on the side. Then I said 14, so now you go down to the one with 1 on the top and 4 on the side. Keep doing that until you’ve figured it out.”

“Oh, that makes more sense,” I articulated, knowledge-havingly. I decoded the cipher using the numbers Spin had beeped. Once I figured out the hidden message, all of the color left my face.

“Oh, my God…” I let slip, even though I’m a stone cold atheist. I believe in science, thank you very much.

“It’s true,” Spin hummed. “And I intend to do it to you, too.” He pointed the tip of his knife towards my colorless face.

“But… why? What did I do to you?” I fell to my knees and pleaded with the red sphere.

“It’s more about what you didn’t do,” He began. “You forgot about me.”

“I did?”

“Yes! You did!” Spin’s rather large sneakers squeaked against the floor as he paced around in front of me. “You stopped watching me and my friends. One thing led to another, and all of a sudden, no one was watching me anymore. No one even remembered my name.”

“No one? Not a single person?” I asked.

“No one. They were all busy playing Webkinz!” He shouted with a stomp of the foot for emphasis. “It’s like no one even cared about me.”

I bit my lower lip, realizing the error of my ways.

“It was horrible, being forgotten,” the bot continued. “It’s like I meant nothing to anyone. Not even you.”

“Me?!” I sputtered.

“Yes, you! Being forgotten by you was a fate worse than death. Worse than the heat death of the universe. Worse than pulling a hangnail too far! And do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I loved you.”

“Excuse me?” My jaw went slack as I did a double take.

“I looked forward to spending those after school days with you. I loved putting on a show to entertain you. You were my favorite human. I saw so much potential in you, and I wanted to mold you into someone I could be proud of. But you just… left.” The sadness was evident in Spin’s sapphire eyes, but behind the dual walls of blue was a burning hatred.

“So I came to a decision,” Spin decided as he slowly approached me. “I’m going to kill you. Just like I killed everyone else. And what fun I’ll have doing it.”

Without warning, the robot swung the knife at me. I narrowly dodged it, the tip of the blade grazing ever so slightly against my cheek. I took several steps backwards, bumping against the TV that I’d forgotten about.

“Don’t make this difficult, Sam,” Spin taunted as he approached.

Seeing an opportunity, I kicked the robot in the face and bolted out the door to my room. I practically flung myself down the stairs, momentum working both for and against me in my plight down the flight. Once I had reached the bottom, I scrambled back to my feet and booked it for the front door, the sound of squeaking shoe rubber following closely behind me. I quickly shut the front door and locked it, my hands trembling as I fiddled with my keys. The tip of Spin’s knife penetrated the wood of the door, which was my cue to run for my car; a 2004 Vauxhall Astra that sat parked in the driveway of my house.

I flung open the car door, got into the front seat, and pulled the door shut once more. I slammed the keys into the ignition and peeled out of my driveway faster than a bullet train, not bothering to fasten my seatbelt until I’d made it out of my neighborhood. Before I could think about where I could go next, a single antenna rose in my rearview mirror, followed by a pair of navy blue eyes.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” I screamed as I lost control of my vehicle. I swerved into a wooded area and flipped the car over several times. The various objects within were sent flying; a travel mug full of days old coffee that I’d forgotten about popped open and splashed its contents all over the walls of the car. Broken glass pierced my skin, like the shadow version of having my ears pierced at Claire’s for my eighth birthday. Time seemed to stop, but also play in fast forward at the very same time. Such a paradoxical predicament would not go unnoticed by the universe at large, and so the car finally settled down in a wooded ditch.

I clamored out of the wrecked vehicle, battered and bruised from the experience, yet unharmed deeper than a superficial level. I rested on my hands and knees, trying to process all that had just happened. Numbers crunched in my head as I tried to reverse engineer the trajectory of the car and calculate the probability of my survival, but none of the numbers made any sense; not even to my intellectual self.

The area around me was an absolute mess. Copies of my resume from job interviews of the past lay scattered on the grass below. The cup holder between the front seats had popped out, revealing a cartoon shark imprinted on the bottom (I had always wondered where the hidden shark was on this particular model). Glass shards littered the ground like the workshop of an amateur mosaic artist. The car itself, my trusty steed in my quest to rid myself of the red robot, lay upside-down like a turtle flipped on its back. I shed a small tear upon seeing my prized Astra in such a sorry state.

My thoughts were interrupted by one of the rear doors opening, and a somehow completely unharmed Spin stepping out.

“Wow,” he remarked. “That was quite a ride, wasn’t it? Now, where were we?”

The red robot slowly approached me, knife still in hand. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming surge of emotions all in conflict with one another. Fear of my impending doom, rage at the betrayal of my childhood hero, thoughts of what I would say to my relatives if I had the chance, and who I would meet on the other side. But at the forefront of all of them, one emotion stood strong and true.

Logic.

I knew Spin was no match for my intellect. None of his dirty little tricks could even hold a candle to my divine wisdom. Not even one of those tiny candles that are put in jack o’ lanterns. Not even a candle made by the world’s smallest candlemaker for the world’s smallest candelabra. All of Spin’s candles were the smell of a body shop, while mine were the smell of cold hard facts.

So that was exactly what I decided to use to my advantage. I stood up and adjusted my collar before speaking.

“Fine, then,” I spoke. “If you want to kill me, then kill me. I’m ready for you.”

“Well, alright then,” Spin responded. “I just might have to take you up on that offer.”

“Yes, indeed,” I declared back. “But I have just one thing I want to say first.”

“Oh?” Spin asked, bemused. “And what would that be? What are your final words?” I grinned with delight, as he’d fallen straight into my trap.

“THIS! STATEMENT! IS! FALSE!!!” I bellowed at the top of my lungs. Spin seemed taken aback by my outburst.

“Is… is that true?” He asked again.

“Yes!” I shouted. “It’s true that this statement is false!”

“But- but- that doesn’t make sense!” The robot took a step back, dropping his knife and clutching his head in confusion. “How can it be true if it’s false?”

“It just is,” I retorted with a confident smirk.

“N-no! It can’t be!” Smoke began to seep from Spin’s circular head. “It’s just not right!”

Those ice blue eyes, which moments ago had instilled fear into my heart, now had a look of utter terror on them. The frightener had become the frightened, it seemed.

“How does that make you feel, smart boy?” I asked the round robot, who at this point was now in a desperate frenzy. The circuits in his head were in overdrive, trying to comprehend my prior proclamation.

“This is… this is…” He stammered as his eyes jittered in place. “THIS IS ALL WRONG!!!”

Without warning, the robot’s head burst into flames, shards of metal being sent in all directions. His metal arms were blown off to either side, and the flaming remnants of his lower half fell to the ground; knees first, followed by the lower half of the head.

I looked on at the display in front of me, and I couldn’t help but smile. I had slain the beast with nothing but my wits. Such a feat, I believed not even the cosmos itself would be able to replicate; not even in billions of years. I had proven to myself, and the world at large, that once again, facts and logic prevail over all adversity.

Once the fire had died down, I knelt down at Spin’s lower half, removed his large sneakers, and put them on myself. I then began to walk out of the woods in search of the nearest gas station.

It was time to treat myself to some coffee.

#junebug-jamboree #op #sfw #writebug #crappypasta #trollpasta

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harrysfolklore · 2 years

Note

OMG FINAL PART OF YOUNGER YN!!! IM DESPERATE

and here it is, the final part of this series! i have to be honest with you, i’m not convinced of this is the best ending but i hope you enjoy it, let me know your thoughts <3

IF YOU LIKED THIS PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING ME

ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated !

liked by jacobelordi, oliviarodrigo and 1,096,754 others

yourinstagram something’s coming

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ynfan1 STUNNING

conangray they’re not ready

ynfan2 JUST ANNOUNCE THE ALBUM

jacobelordi ❤️❤️

↳ ynfan1 just confirm that you’re dating

harryfan1 if she releases her album the same day as harry’s house istg

↳ ynfan2 get outttt

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,908 others

harryupdates “I write about my personal experiences so yeah, there’s going to be songs on this album about the time we spent together, just as there’s going to be songs about other people in my life and stuff I’ve experienced” - Harry about if there’s going to be songs about YN on Harry’s House, via the Howard Stern Show

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harryfan1 i hate stern

harryfan2 as someone who listened to the leak album.. there’s a lot of songs that scream yn

↳ harryfan3 don’t spoil

ynfan1 when is he going to stop bringing her up

↳ harryfan1 maybe when interviewers stop asking about her

liked by spaceykacey, fingermonkey and 6,235,734 others

harrystyles Harry’s House. Out now.

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harryfan1 BEST ALBUM EVER

harry_lambert ❤️❤️❤️❤️

fingermonkey So proud ❤️

↳ harryfan2 awww adorable

ynfan1 the songs about yn are the best

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,987 others

harryupdates Official lyrics from “Little freak”

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harryfan1 damn

ynfan1 and that’s how the best song on his album it’s about yn

↳ harryfan2 annoying

harryfan2 i don’t know why are people surprised, harry said they were going to be songs about their time together on the album

ynfan2 i wonder how she feels about thisss

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ynupdates YN via instagram stories !

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ynfan1 AN ICON

ynfan2 omfg is that jacob?

↳ ynfan3 yeeees

ynfan4 she’s really an icon. being unapologetically happy with her new boyfriend and not caring about drama, i love her

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 73,987 others

enews The rumors are true. Jacob Elordi and YN are the new IT couple. Link in our bio for the full story.

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ynfan1 LETS GOOO

ynfan2 ahhh i’m so happy for her

harryfan1 the blue hat is giving harry’s fisherman hat

ynfan3 i love them

liked by selenagomez, madisonbeer and 1,529,072 others

yourinstagram THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. JUNE 3RD

my second studio album is about to be yours, i wrote this record during a time where heartbreak was all i could feel, but also how i healed and blossomed again.

i hope you love it as much as i do

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ynfan1 IM SO READYYYYY

conangray i’m so proud of you it’s insane

oliviarodrigo I CANT WAIT 🤍🤍🤍

ynfan2 i’m so ready for those diss tracks

jacobelordi ❤️❤️

↳ ynfan1 all he comments is hearts it’s so funny

annetwist Congratulations 🥰

↳ harryfan1 ANNE?

↳ harryfan2 help they still have a good relationship i guess

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,906 others

harryandcamille Camille watching Harry perform tonight !

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harryfan1 she’s so pretty

harryfan2 harry is with camille, yn is with jacob. i know we loved them as a couple but they’re happy now and that’s what matters

↳ ynfan1 agreed

liked by yourinstagram, fingermonkey and 6,802,178 others

harrystyles Thank you, thank you, thank you. My love for you has no end. I hope you’re enjoying ‘Harry’s House’

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harryfan1 i’m so proud of you

fingermonkey ❤️❤️

ynfan1 YN LIKED ??

yourinstagram 🤍

↳ harryfan1 HUH?

↳ ynfan2 it’s good to know they’re in good terms i guess

harryfan3 his gf and ex in the comment section i can’t

annetwist ❤️❤️

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @maria-r @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @evanjh @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @lollypopsx @multiplums @89evrs @trulymadlykiki i @piscesrecord @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ivegotparticulartaste @springholland @harryhoney-bee @harrysgloves @ayeshathestyles @comfort-reads @stylesmygucci i @gimsaysay y @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @sleutherclaw @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @alyxisacrybaby @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @leadmetogarden

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cattobones · 8 days

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i still log into my ancient ass animal jam account from when i was 7. sometimes i buy a membership for like a month so i can see all my cool houses and stuff but my nonmember setup is cool too

stupid animal jam +fe.ral rant below LOLL

it makes me sad how this game has been kind of rotting for years ever since flash got banned :/ like i know im too old for it or whatever but it used to be really enjoyable as a kid and there was always new adventure lore and animals and cool things being added and now theres like nothing to do even if ur the target audience. a few months ago they foreshadowed this interesting update when club geoz came back and did nothing with it and its like whats the point of hyping us up when we're starving.... i refuse to play the mobile app cause it looks hideous and the animal models r ugly. We almost had fe.ral but those grifters had to make it into an NFT collecting game which flopped so hard that it also got shut down so fe.ral is like lost media now which ALSO makes me sad cause i played fe.ral obsessively during the lockdowns and it was like an escape. also as an artist, i hate when stuff like this happens with movies and shows and whatnot cause its like every asset and piece of lore was made/written by somebody and now its just gone. no one will be able to appreciate it or enjoy it again. that story the game was going to tell is never gonna see the light of day unless a dev wants to come out and leak it. and the community there during beta was so nice too like we just hung out and talked about how pretty our avatars looked and it was a nice mature version of animal jam with a lot more freedom and stuff to do. even without a membership it was great meanwhile animal jam nonmembers can barely do shit. i mainly play browser games like lioden and fr now cause those arent going anywhere anytime soon

#text post #animal jam #aj classic #feral

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fostercare-expat · 11 days

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Social worker updated that the official decision is that both boys will stay in care, not return home. No surprise there.

The case will now be transferred from Investigation to Intervention. Mom and Boyfriend will be required to attend counselling from a domestic violence centre and the boys will start attending therapy. No surprises there. I could have told you that on Day 2. No need for 2.5 months to figure that out.

I asked for a timeline and she said it will likely be another month before the new social worker in the Intervention department is assigned and then only then will they talk to Mom and boyfriend about the plan. The other foster family and I both want to hear what Mom’s attitude will be and if she says she wants to do the work to get the boys back home or if she says she is ok with them staying in the foster care system. Because the other family doesn’t want to be a long term placement for Older Brother and they figure if the plan is to him to stay in the system long term, that he may as well go to a group home now. But they might be willing to do another 6 months. We asked the current social worker how long she thinks the Intervention phase will be and she said realistically a year but ideally 6 months. But everyone is stuck in a holding pattern for another month until the new social worker is assigned. I don’t even think the therapy can start yet. But the good news is that Younger Brother is a cutie awesome kid with a delightful sense of humour who runs into my arms every day when I come home from work and loves swimming in the pool and hang out with my Younger Daughter and all her friends. Yes, parenting is stressful but he deserves it and I’m capable of doing it for another year if needed. I don’t know that I’m capable of parenting Older Brother for another year, but I definitely can do Younger Brother.

In other news, my former husband was flipping out yesterday about a loan I gave my helper from our shared money. He already knew about the loan several weeks ago and even said at the time to make sure if she needs more money that she ask us for more instead of going to loan sharks. He’s confused about how much she has borrowed vs been paid so I spent 30 minutes making him a spreadsheet on Excel because he has a degree in Finance and that’s his sort of thing. He was flipping out so much that he couldn’t even understand the spreadsheet. He kept shouting at me on the phone and I was calmly asking him not to speak to me that way and I will explain it to him, and he would apologise and take a few breaths to calm down but then a few exchanges he was back to yelling at me. He’s generally not someone who yells. I’ve known him 19 years and he’s yelled more in the last year than he has in the past 18 years. Yesterday his behaviour was so irrational that I came to several realisations:

1) Generally I say that he and I get along very well. That is not the case lately.

2) His behaviour is connected to his stress about starting a business and about money. But it’s being reflected towards me and it’s irrational. I don’t need to spend a lot of time and effort accommodating his irrational demands around 10 year old boys potentially abusing his daughters or get scolded about our shared money when I literally already asked his permission in writing.

3) For the time being, I need to just shift him to a smaller corner of my life and let him fight a battle against his own demons without letting it leak over to me. I don’t need to co-parent as closely as I have been. I won’t make any dramatic announcements about it. I’ll just communicate way less and pay less attention to the irrational stuff.

4) I’ve gently warned the girls that Daddy is having a stressful time and he might be miserable to be around sometimes and they can talk to me about anything and I’ll help. (He would never hit them, I’m confident in that. But he might shout a lot or stomp out of the house or generally lose it in front of them, which would be scary for them.)

5) He will return to his normal self eventually. He normally treats me with kindness and respect, even for most of the 7 years we have been broken up. I’ll be patient, with some healthy boundaries, and this will pass. He did apologise several times on the phone yesterday. So he’s aware that he’s losing it. And he says he’s going to therapy. He’s just struggling and I have the benefit of not needing you getting sucked into it.

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sugolara · 16 days

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𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚

ft. K.B x S.T x I.M x fem! reader

Synopsis: After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down it's borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's to late for some people. The dead has rose and is looking for revenge. Cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn

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“Found you.” Katsuki grabbed F/n’s attention as they both stood at the main entrance, “I need to talk to you.”

F/n eyed him as she adjusted the bag on her shoulder, “Okay. What about?”

The main entrance rattled open, and they both exited, walking down the road. F/n had planned on visiting the house she had placed traps in. She hasn't seen the traps go off, but she was curious if someone had managed to undo them and grab her stuff, but with Katsuki here she had to appear like she was heading to scavenge.

“Before we came, me and the other guys found this place.” He said as he eyed her from the corner of his eyes.

“Okay and?” She said, keeping an eye out for any dead, “What? Did the place have like fairies and a magical portal where we can go through when we want to escape?”

He glared at her, “Can you just shut the fuck up and let me finish.”

“Jeez, okay.” She mumbled out, but when he hadn’t said anything, she looked at him, “You going to say anything?”

“There's this place not too far from here. It has people in it. A community just like ours.” Hearing a rotter moan out quietly, he turned his attention to it but they both ignored it when it was caught underneath a car, “It doesn’t have that many people in it. I wanted to talk to Nezu about it and negotiate with them.

“With that damn bastard demanding everything, and as much as I hate to say it, we need all the fucking help we can get.” He continued, “No way are we going to meet their requirements by just looking for places that have already been looked at.”

“So why are you telling me?” She asked.

He glared at her, placing his hand on her arm to stop their movements, “I’m telling you because I want to know what you think in case all else fails. In that fucked up mind of yours, you probably have some sort of solution.”

She blinked at him before shrugging, “You know what I think? I think we should just take it.”

“What..?” He shook his head, “We don’t want to take over their place. We just want to negot-”

“You asked me what I thought.” She shrugged her hand off, “I gave it to you. That crate you guys brought back, I’m sure that was just them being generous, but they had good stuff. Imagine what more they have hidden.”

“They have people.” He tried to change her mind and it wasn’t like the decision had already been made, he just wanted her to stop thinking of violence, but violence is all you can think about if you're fighting for survival, “They have kids.”

She looked to her side before letting out another shrug and continuing forward, “Okay then. I guess, just talk it out. I really don’t have another option.”

He rolled his eyes as he followed after her, “Your options suck.”

“Can’t argue with that.” She said and they peacefully walked together. As she looked ahead, the wind blew by them both, “I went back, by the way.”

He hummed, “Back? Where?”

Her lip twitched, “To where they died.”

His eyes wanted to widen but he blinked as he stared at the side of her head, “Why..? You went by yourself? Are you that stupid to go all the way out there?”

“I needed to know.” She continued to look ahead as her hand swung near her gun.

He then looked ahead and if it wasn't for the crashed cars. The scenery of the neighborhood would have looked beautiful especially with the trees changing colors, “Does Deku know?”

She scoffed, “No. If he did…well if he did nothing would change.”

Seeing her shrug and the crestfallen face, he hesitated to speak, “..What was left?”

A small smile appeared on her lips, “Nothing. Nothing but old, muddy, ripped up clothes.”

With that, she left it alone and looked ahead. There was more to it, like their skeleton beginning to grow moss, small animals using it as a hiding place to hide from their prey, and the dirt piling up on it soon to be covered and nothing be left behind.

Squelching had Shoto shivering from how disgusted he was. Months into the world ruled by the dead and he will never get used to the sounds. Most of it was partly due to Dabi playing around with the dead like they were toys and as he watched as his older brother dig his knife through the eye socket, he merely rolled his eyes, ignored him and went back to the dirty notebook in his hand.

He twirled his pencil around as he waited for Dabi to clear the area so they could drive through the road. He was supposed to be on the lookout, but Dabi had things under control. Instead, he could continue to write in his notebook that had seen better days.

“Instead of writing love letters like a schoolgirl you can get rid of these ugly bitches.” Dabi said, pulling the knife out and eyed his younger brother who sat on the passenger seat, “Shoto.”

The younger rolled his eyes and looked at him, “I did help. And it's not love letters.”

“No?” Dabi said and walked to him and snatched the notebook out of his hands, ignoring the way Shoto tried to get it back. He skimmed over the pages, a grin on his face as he made up a sentence, “Dear baby, I miss you so much. There are days where all I can think about is you. When I’m in my bed I have these thoughts that I can’t control and all the blood rushes to my-”

“Enough!” Shoto grabbed the book back, giving Dabi a glare as he laughed, “Maybe instead of sticking your head through my business you can stick it up your ass!”

“Oh!” Dabi exclaimed with a laugh, “Feisty are we.”

Again, Shoto rolled his eyes as he slammed the door close, “Hurry up and drive. We’re supposed to be somewhere.”

The raven-haired male tapped on his door before entering and starting the car again. He placed his arm on the window, his fingers drumming, “You think love letters are going to get you far?”

“Why do you care?” Shoto said as he looked out his window.

“Because if you’re going to have your head up someone's ass, someone who’ll die with a snap of a finger, you’re wasting your entire time.” He said, looking at the mirrors, “You got other important shit on your plate and you don't need some damn girl coming in and ruining it. You’re smart, you know that.”

He eyed his younger brother from the corner and mumbled, “It’s why that bastard favors you.”

The mention of their father had Shoto feeling gloomy. He might have died trying to protect them, but that doesn’t excuse the torment he had put them through for their entire childhood. For the rest of the ride, they stayed quiet, the radio that Dabi had brought was the only sound that emitted from the car, but it would go deaf from the wind that rushed by them.

Exiting the highway, they entered a neighborhood and slowly drove by as they both looked for a place to park the car and hide it in case anyone was nearby. They found a building covered in vines and they parked the car, both getting off and detangling the vines with their knife to help cover the car.

When all that was done, they walked through the crowded street. They both kept an eye out for anything, that being; stores, dead, humans, and weapons.

“So, how long have you been with that group?” Dabi asked, his hands holding his pistol.

Shoto shrugged as he let his hand rest on top of his pistol that was in the holster, “I’m not sure. A few months into this, I think. I don’t keep track of the days.”

“Yeah, me either.” Dabi then reached into his pocket where he pulled out a bar of granola and munched on it, “You think about ever going back to Musutafu?”

“And do what?” Shoto asked, though he can say he has thought about going there, just to see his home and re-experience it before he truly is gone.

“Shit, I don’t know.” The male shrugged, but he then let out a short laugh, “I still have a bunch of prono’s underneath my bed.”

“Seriously?” Shoto looked at him with a disgusted look, “Is that what you’re worried about?”

“Nah…” Dabi said, his eyes glancing at the buildings then at his brother, “I’ve been thinking, since, our piece of shit father, was important don’t you think they would have more places to keep people like him safe? That’s been bothering me this entire time.”

Now that he had mentioned it, Shoto had begun to think as well. It would be odd for the government—since that’s where his dad worked—to only have one place that could be safe. Enji was of high status, not just a commoner, so they had to tell him more than just one place that was highly secure.

And there was another thing, Momo’s parents were also like Enji, and yet he had never seen her, nor her family where they had placed his family in.

Shoto glanced at his brother, his eyes widened as he stopped walking, “You know something don’t you?”

Dabi grinned at him slyly, “Says who?”

As his older brother continued forward, Shoto quickly catched up to him, “If you know something then tell me! This could be a good thing! Imagine how many people could be saved! Helped!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dabi said as he approached a building that was a gun store.

He felt irritated as his brother ignored him, “Touya! If you know something then say it!”

“Listen, Shoto!” Dabi placed his finger on his mouth, signaling Shoto to be quiet, “I know a lot of shit, but I can’t tell you. If Tomura were to know what I know, can you imagine the shit storm that would happen?”

“Do you not trust me?” Shoto could feel a sense of hurtness wash over him, but he had to suspect that trustiness was out of the picture. It had been since their father had them compete over each other, but he’s always imagined that if things were to be different, they would get along like any other siblings.

But, Shoto was just too much of an airhead to see that Dabi was helping him, even if the process was very, very slow.

“That’s got nothing to do with this.” Dabi opened the door and entered the building, “There’s ears everywhere. When the time's right, I’ll tell you.”

The bi-colored male rolled his eyes after he entered the building, “It’s never going to be the right time.”

The comment had Dabi look at his brother. His ocean eyes watched as Shoto made his way around the building, jumping over the counter and entering the rooms that were in the back.

In truth, he had no reason to help Shoto. They both, or well rather he, held resentment to him, for taking their fathers attention and left him in the shadows. He could have already outed his information he gathered about Enji to Tomura, but just like them both he was selfish.

Well, that's how he perceives himself.

“Watch the back, Shoto.” Dabi called out as he looked at the shelfs in the front.

In the back rooms, Shoto leaned on a wall as he let out a sigh. He wiped his eyes as he could feel himself grow tired. Tomura had sent them out to grab a few resources and since Dabi was his right hand man, he was allowed to take Shoto. The male just hoped they were back in time to go to Sorston, but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to even go and see his friends.

Hearing a loud crash coming from the front, Shoto had grabbed his gun and headed to his brother, but he annoyingly let out a sigh, letting his arm rest on his side, “What the hell are you doing!?”

Holding a bat, Dabi grinned, “Cleaning.”

“You’ll be drawing the dead towards us.” He bitterly said, “I don’t feel like dying today.”

“Of course.” He swung his bat around, “How could I forget? You have a girlfriend waiting for you. You probably want to get back to her without any scratches and give her a real surprise, if you know what I me-”

“Just shut up.” Shoto rolled his eyes as he left. His brother laughing did not help the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks and speaking of F/n, he wondered what she was up to.

#izuku x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #midoriya x y/n #katsuki x you #shoto x y/n #shoto x you #todoroki shoto x reader

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