#love you Corr you were the only reason i started posting

[the-blue-marshmallow]

Jegulus + neck kisses

It is now one shot dump time! Say thank you to Corr who gave me enough serotonin to do this stuff and actually show the world my writing.

Regulus lazily strolled through Hogwarts’ corridors, his outer robe left in his dormitory after lunch. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up, showing a carefully manufactured image of a self-assured heir to the Black family.

It was a warm day. Most of the students were outside during the long free time after lunch. They all desperately grasped the moments of free time. Oh well. He was free until Pandora or Barty would decide that he needed his annual dose of sunlight.

He strolled down the corridor, his bag hanging from his shoulder. He still had to finish his essay for Potions and read two chapters for DADA. Right, and Transfi-

He was suddenly yanked into one of the classrooms he walked beside. His body was thrown against one of the desks. Two strong arms, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows revealing perfect brown skin, caged him against the desk. He looked up at the person, slightly scared, because you didn’t get manhandled into an empty classroom everyday. His fear turned into annoyance when his eyes finally landed on the person’s face.

-Jamie.

His voice was snarky and annoyed, reflectring the feelings probably seen in his eyes. James Potter was standing in front of him, with his infuriating glasses and his infuriating fluffy hair and those bottomless eyes that reflected his pale face.

-Hello, lovely. -James’ voice was not its usual cheerful tone that made Regulus’ muscles twitch (his face muscles. Specifically the ones around his lips. Jamie called it a smile.). The other man’s voice was weirdly calm and collected. reserved.

-You are not your usual annoying self today. - it wasn’t a question, more like a statement. - Why?

Jamie’s eyes darkened dangerously (no, Regulus did not like that look. Absolutely not.) and he tilted his head to the side. He was much taller than Regulus and he had to bend over slightly to look him in the eyes.

-That Ravenclaw boy was awfully friendly with you at breakfast.

Oh.

Oh.

So this was it. James Potter, sunshine of Hogwarts, the happiest man Regulus knew, was jealous. Oh boy.

In this moment Regulus realized he played a little too close to the fire. His innocent playing of the Ravenclaw boy to get him to help with his Herbology project might have gotten him into trouble.

You have to understand, dear reader, James Potter was not a jealous man. He did not get angry with Regulus. He did not get jealous of Regulus. He was not possessive of Regulus.

He knew, no matter who Regulus flirted with to get something he wanted, that James Potter in the end was the one who Regulus came back to. He was the brotherfucker, a title earned through tears, sweat and even a little bit of blood. He was the man Regulus trusted the most beside his beloved brother. He was the man his heart yearned for. He was the man who infuriated Regulus to no end but still pulled him back over and over again.

So when James Potter gets jealous because some Ravenclaw boy (who in the end had an ugly personality and Regulus would not consider him even if James never existed) tried getting cozy with him, it surprised the younger Black brother. Not a lot of things surprised Regulus Black.

-Are you jealous, Jamie? - he coos in a mockingly sweet tone and tilts his head.

And then, much to Regulus’ dread, James growls and grabs his jaw roughly. For just a second a jolt of fear washes through Regulus and his breath hitches. James seems to realize in what position exactly his long fingers were. The rough look in his eyes dims a bit and he moves his grip lover, instead resting his hand on Regulus’ long and thin neck.

His thumb brushes over Regulus’ pulse and his head leans closer.

-I am. I really, really am.

James’ hand wasn’t restraining his breathing or his blood flow whatsoever, more just holding him. Showing him exactly what this situation was.

Regulus cast his gray eyes down and sighed.

-I’m sorry, Jamie. I wasn’t flirting with him, y’know. At least not more than normally. - his voice was gentle and apologetic.- He was kinda… pushy.

James slowly shakes his head. He keeps his eyes on Regulus, like he was trying to look into his soul.

-I know. I’m not mad.- James’ voice was gentle but it held a certain dangerous edge to it. That edge, unfortunately, made the little hairs on Regulus’ nape stand up.

-Then why did you manhandle me into the classroom, if you’re not mad?

-I don’t need to be mad at you to want to mark you as my own.- His voice was a low growl. Oh good lord.

James leaned in and pressed his nose to Regulus’ soft skin. He inhaled deeply and sneaked his hand around to the back of Regulus’ head. He threaded his long fingers into his soft hair and tugged gently.

Regulus took a deep breath and fixed his position. His knees were weak and trembling, the only thing keeping him upright was sheer willpower and the desk he was pressed against. James seemed to see the movement and smirked against Regulus’ skin.

Regulus didn’t think about this too much. He thought that maybe James would just ignore it and continue with whatever was happening right now. Maybe, if he was particularly unlucky, his lover would tease him about it. But no. On this day, in a matter of maybe ten minutes, James Potter managed to surprise his beloved boyfriend, Regulus Black, not once but twice.

James’ hands roughly gripped under his thighs and lifted his slim body up. Regulus was set on the desk, his legs on either side of the taller man’s body. His hands were keeping him upright, braced on the cold surface of the desk behind him.

-This okay, baby?

In a moment of sweetness, James stilled and murmured into his pale skin. Regulus wasn’t sure if he could trust his lips to properly work so he just nodded. He felt the other grin into his neck.

And then three things happened. James pulled his head back with the tight grip on his black hair. Regulus whined.

James smiled.

James sighed.

James sunk his teeth into Reggie’s pale skin.

Regulus Black was always taught how to be a respectable young man. One part of that was learning to never react too much. Not cry, not scream, not yell. So when James’ teeth sunk into his neck a very surprising thing happened. Regulus yelped in surprise and his whole body jolted. His hips accidently bucked agaisnt James’ own. Oh, no. This was bad. This was very, very bad. (Also, Reggie just realised, James was slowly building a life record of how many times a person could surprise him in their lifetime. Regulus thought taht if someone were to actually do it, he was glad it landed on James.)

James leaned back and looked Regulus in the eyes. He had to basically loom over Regulus’ form to properly hold eye contact with him.

-Oh, baby… Did you like that?

Regulus blushed wildly at James’ sweet tone. He grumbled and shook his head.

-No. I didn’t like it. You just surprised me, that’s all.

James snickered and chuckled darkly.

-Mhm, sure. Whatever you say, baby.- James said in a sarcastic tone. Regulus should not like that pet name so much, damn it! He was the heir to the house of Black, for god’s sake.

Regulus scowled at James and leaned back on his arms.

-Of course taht’s what happened, you bastard. You’re not all that, no matter what the gryffindor girls say.

James tilted his head to the side and grinned at him.

-Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I just left, would you?- and then he pushed himself off the desk and took two steps back. Oh no.

-Wait!- James smirked but stilled. He waved his hand in the air, motioning for Regulus to continue.- I… OKay, maybe I did like it a little bit.- he grumbled and put his head down in slight shame.

James stepped closer and caged him with his arms again. His fluffy hair was covering his eyes a little bit. He blew some air up to clear his vision and smiled that goofy, annoying and absolutely stunning smile of his that was reserved for his beloved.

-There you go, baby.- his voice was a confident coo.- Good job.

Regulus crumbled. He put his head down to hide the angry blush spreading over his heels and grumbled something even he wasnt sure what it was.

James chuckled and kissed his cheek tenderly. He didn’t force him to look at him or something. He never did, he just accepted that sometimes eye contact was just too much and he would not get it even if he tried. He also knew that forcing Reggie into looking at him would end very, very badly. He witnessed it first hand when some bastard from Slytherin tried to pull that. It was an ugly sight.

And then James dove in and started pretty much ravaging his neck. He bit, he sucked, he nibbled. The sensations pulled little broken noises out of Regulus. He seemed to revel in them and tried different spots just to hear them all.

Regulus struggled with the sensations. James’ lips sucking on his skin, leaving angry purple marks that would probably take at least a week to fade. His teeth nibbling the skin on his collarbones in the most gentle way possible. The full on bites made to the soft flesh of his shoulder, not enough to break skin (he would kill James if he ever actually bit him. Maybe he licked having visual proof of their relationship on his skin but scars were just too much, god damn it.) but enough to make him whimper and throw his head back in a lazy motion.

James leaned back and looked at him, his cheeks red and his lips covered in spit.

-You okay, baby?- he gently brushed Regulus’ fluffy hair back and out of his face. His eyes were awfully tender, now that he got his need to mark Regulus up out of his system. Reggie hated how that look made his stomach flip.

He took a moment to take a deep breath and gather the reality around him. James’ hands were on his thighs, grounding him and providing him with a consistent sensation he could focus on. Damn that perceptive bastard.

Regulus nodded and took another deep breath.

-Yeah. I think I’m okay.- His words were slow and weirdly intentional, like it took a lot of effort to get them out. james squeezed his thighs, not too little but not too roughly either. Just right.

-Can I continue?- His dear asked in a gentle tone. He kept his face leveled with Regulus’, even if they didn’t hold eye contact.

Regulus only nodded.

-...Do you want me to continue?

This was their issue. James Potter was just too perceptive of Regulus’ reactions for the younger to keep any secret around him. Damn him and his stupid, kind heart.

Regulus took a moment to thinkl about the question. He thought for a long time, longer than it usually took him. James was there the whole time, keeping his big, warm hands on his thighs.

He slowly nodded. He realized he had been running the tips of his fingers over the veins on James’ hands to soothe himself. He didn’t stop the motion, despite his embarrassment.

-Do you remember what to say if it gets too much?

James’ voice was so infuriatingly gentle and soothing as he spoke to him. He didn’t demand, he didn’t rush him. He let him take his time and find the words in the mess that was now his mind.

He took a deep breath and tried to get the word out. Then he tried again. He parted his lips and focused very hard on getting this one word out for his dear.

-Petrichor.

James’ grin widened impossibly. He leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to his forehead.

-Good job, baby. Thank you.

Regulus blushed and dipped his head forward. He put his forehead on James’ wide shoulder and sighed happily. Even when words would get a little too hard for Reggie, James would make sure he was okay and that he felt loved. He knew how sometimes Regulus would drown in his own thoughts.

-Okay, and can you show me what to do if words get too hard?

Regulus thought for a moment. He then brought his hand higher on James’ forearm and wrapped his thin fingers around his strong arm. He squeezed his arm three times, the first squeeze long and the other ones short.

-Mhm, that’s it. Good job, baby.

Regulus blushed and grumbled into James’ shoulder. The other laughed at his reaction, the kind of laugh that would make Reggie’s heart skip a beat and do a flip. The taller man dipped his head lower and attached his lips to a spot above Regulus’ collarbone that wasn’t yet covered with a bite or a hickey. He slowly moved along his skin, filling in the gaps he left before. His touch was less urgent, less possessive, more gentle. It was like the result mattered less than the process in this moment. There was always one warm hand on Regulus’ thigh, under his own smaller, pale hand. It made him feel assured that no matter what, he had control over what happened to him. That no one ever would make him hold eye contact or do something to him he didn't like.

He whimpered and let his head roll back, revealing more of his pale skin. James snaked a hand under his slightly long hair and put a big hand on the back of his neck, supporting his head and letting his neck relax. He gently put his thumb behind Reggie’s ear and so softly moved his head to the side to kiss and nip at the spot behind his other ear.

The hand on his thigh squeezed him, seemingly in a silent question. He squeezed back, his hand shaking just a little.

James moved to the other side of his neck, rolling his head gently in his grip. He was so tender about it, so soft and careful.

They would emerge from the classroom forty minutes later, Regulus's hair tussled and fluffed up from being held so much. And if he walked a little funny and paid a bit more attention to keeping his neck covered, then damn him for having little joys in life every now and then.

[myriadismx]

To Love and To Love Again pt. 1

NEXT CHAPTER>>>

Pairings: Pro Hero Bakugou x Pro Hero Fem!Reader (this chapter only), Pro Hero Kirishima x Pro Hero Fem!Reader (next chapter)

Word Count: 5,445

Summary: When you fell in love with Bakugou, you thought it would last forever. But when life proves you otherwise and hits where it hurts you most, you swear to never yearn for another person again. Until life proves you wrong one more time, and shows you that love can bloom again in the darkest of hours.

Warnings: Angst, Bakugou is an insecure jerk, mentions of abortion, and child loss

Music Inspo:

🎵 “¡Corre!” by Jeese & Joy (English version here)

🎵 “I Can’t Handle Change” by Roar

Author's Note: This fanfic is a pioneer because it’s my first for this fandom and in English language. It’ll start with Bakugou x Reader, but the main focus is between Kirishima x Reader. I had to divide it in two chapters because of tumblr’s new posting format that limits the amount of words and paragraphs. I haven't written fanfiction in over a decade, it hasn’t been beta-proofed and it’s mostly self-indulgent, so please bear with me!

You were 17 when you fell victim of the disease not even gods could cure. When you fell in love with Katsuki Bakugou.  

Both of you were aspiring heroes studying in the same classroom. At first you had thought of him as an insufferable punk, but eventually witnessed him make a gradual change that had you admit to yourself he wasn't that bad. But that didn't mean he noticed your admiration or that he was going to go soft on you.

It was him the one who sparked a new sentiment in you when he easily defeated you in a sparring match. Both of you had already gone through lots of hardship, yet you didn't seem to have made a satisfactory progress in Bakugou's eyes.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" he told you as he had you pinned on the ground "That quirk goes to waste on someone like you. If you're unwilling to give it your all to become a Pro Hero, just quit already!"

"You take that back, Bakugou!" you were stunned not only for having Bakugou so close to you, but also because of his harsh words.

"Make me."

Your quirk consisted in creating force fields. In terms of defense, it was on par with Kirishima's hardening quirk, and was useful to protect yourself from enemy attacks. Had Bakugou told you that when the year started, you'd have thought he was just being an arrogant prick and ignored him. However, if the current, more reasonable, Bakugou said your quirk was wasted on you, it meant you were not being resourceful enough.

Out of spite ―or perhaps because deep down you wanted his approval―, you trained constantly, played around with your barriers, and did lots of research to come up with ways to make the best of your abilities. A few months later, you were put against Todoroki in a one-on-one sparring match, and after lots of effort, you took the upper hand by smothering his flames with a closed force field, which you shrunk in an attempt to immobilize him. However, Todoroki was way more skilled in battle and broke out of your barrier with his ice, and after another struggle, he won. But he, as well as others, complimented you on improving the use of your quirk. 

"Yo, Bakugou!" the blonde turned to look at you, and you raised your thumb "Wasted quirk, my ass!"

Well, damn. That was impressive.

After that, Katsuki acknowledged your hard work and didn't show as much irritation when you approached him. Through these interactions you came to see how incredible Bakugou was despite his flaws. It was like finding a treasure inside a tightly guarded castle. To him, on the other hand, you went from being a 'pushover extra', to someone who gave him a sense of tranquility and could have his back. Not that he would outwardly admit it.

But he had to if he really wanted you for himself. As much of an ace he was at school and hero work, Katsuki Bakugou didn't know shit about dating or wooing girls because that was the last thing he pictured himself doing. Should he be doing that at all when he had other priorities in mind?

Though seeing you come at him, make him feel pleasant things he had never experienced before, and then pull away to talk to other guys seriously pissed him off. Giving up on you was off the table.

"L/N's a great girl, just ask her out, bro." Kirishima encouraged him. In an unusual bold move, he even dared to add "Or I might go after her if you won't."

"Like hell you will." Bakugou snapped, not bothering to hide anymore he liked you.

Kirishima's threat was the push Katsuki needed to finally ask you out, and you said yes. You weren't expecting too much of him due to his abrasive personality, but he surprised you with a pair of tickets to see a rom-com movie, his manners when he opened the door for you, and his rather cheesy compliments.

Though this behavior was enjoyable, you could tell he wasn't having any fun. You had already fallen in love with Bakugou and wanted to start things right. To let him know you weren't afraid of being around him, and looked forward to see what life had in store for both of you.  

"Not that I'm complaining you decided to do all this to please me," you told him when your first date was over and he walked you to the train station. "But next time, be yourself. I'm sure you have some interesting ideas in mind, with you being a god damn cook and having other hidden talents there."

He smirked. "What makes you think there'll be a second date?"

"I know you will ask me out again." you rebutted confidently "I've seen how you look at me when you think I don't." you chuckled when he glanced away. "You'll see what a good pair we're going to make, Bakugou!"

"'Good' is not enough. We'll be the best," the fact that Bakugou had spoken in plural made your heart race like mad. "And it's Katsuki."

"Sure thing!" you held his hand, and he squeezed it back. "A kickass battle couple! You and me against the world!"

Indeed, there were more dates after that one, carried out discreetly to avoid your classmates' teasing. Bakugou wasn't an affectionate or romantic individual, but through his actions it was obvious Bakugou cared a lot for you. Enough to make him decide to become an item with you. The night he kissed you for the first time, you thought it was the start of an unforgettable and action-packed love story.  

It was never in Bakugou's plans to become romantically involved with anyone. At least, not before becoming number one hero. But his feelings for you were too strong, and he didn't want to risk losing you to another. Like it happened with anything he wished for, he was quick to take you for himself, and was very happy when you accepted his love and supported him. 

You went on to live together after graduating from U.A. It was a nice change, being able to have time for yourselves, enjoy his wonderful cooking while you worked your way through the ranks, and made love every time your jobs allowed you to. Once Bakugou opened his own agency, he invited you to work alongside him using your own words, 'it's you and me against the world', and you readily agreed.

After he introduced you to his parents, and seeing they were accepting of you ―even egging Katsuki on to marry you soon―, you truly thought Katsuki was the one meant to share your life with

Until 3 years after moving in, on your mandatory biannual blood tests, you found out you were pregnant. 

It was something very unexpected. You were careful with your birth control, and wondered if some villain's quirk had interfered with it. It wasn't uncommon to receive attacks that could affect bodily functions.  Not to mention that time Katsuki was hit with some sort of sexual pollen quirk and eagerly indulged his urges with you. Or maybe you were among the 1% that ended up pregnant despite taking contraceptives.

Your anxiety was probably bigger than your happiness. You two were still young and thriving. Not quite close to achieving your goals, and definitely, it wasn't the ideal time to settle down and start a family. But you thought you could make things work out like the power couple you had always been.

Katsuki's reaction proved you otherwise, though. When you told him he was going to be a father, he was mute and pale for a long moment, as if he had seen a ghost. Then, his eyebrows furrowed, his jaw tightened, and a harsh breath left his lips. You could tell he was trying very hard to hold back his temper. He wasn't happy, at all. 

"I know it wasn't planned, " you commented nervously "But you don't have to look at me as if I were a madwoman, Katsuki."

"We can't have this baby," Bakugou told you, his voice raising the more apprehensive he felt. "I'm not yet number one, we're too young! We don't have enough space!"  

"I can stay at home to take care of them, we can use the spare room as a nursery, and―" you tried to counteract his reasons, but you were plagued with uncertainty.  

He cut you off, "And then what? Another brat will come, then another?" His words cut deep. You weren't expecting to have your first child so soon either, but if it was from the man you loved most, you would raise them lovingly anyways.

"Now's not the time for this, you have to give it up."

His request had gutted you, and you felt faint. You couldn't believe he, a hero that was supposed to save lives, had suggested you to be off with his own flesh and blood. It was understandable that he was scared and in doubt and you would have understood if he had told you so. But deep inside, something warned you Bakugou was serious about aborting his child. However, you were also serious with your own stance in the matter.

"...I won't," your voice was trembling, and there were tears prickling at your eyes but you were determined. "I want this baby."

Katsuki ran his fingers through his hair, sighing again more furiously than before. Deep inside, he knew he should hate himself for forcing you to do this, but in his desperation to salvage his lifelong ambition, he saw you as an obstacle. Your insistence in going against him clouded his judgement, and made him unable to act in a way that worked best for the two of you.  

The way he paced around the room only increased your own uneasiness. At first you thought that having a child right now was going to be troublesome, but your heart felt heavy when your doctor broached the possibility of terminating your pregnancy. You just couldn't go through with it.

"Katsuki, please! Let's give it a chance." You pleaded, gently grabbing his arm and leaning your face on it. You were terrified, and longed to be held and comforted.

"I told you I don't want it," he looked at you scornfully and pulled his arm off your hands. "If you've already lost your drive to be the best, I haven't. Get rid of it before it's too late."

"No!" You cried out, shaking with anger.

Katsuki grabbed his keys, glared at you one more time, and walked towards the door. 

"Then deal with it alone." he said, storming out of the apartment.

That night he didn't return home, nor did he do the next one, or the one after that, and you thought he had left you for real. But on the third night, Katsuki was back, though he didn't greet you. He just spared an icy glance at you and went on to fix dinner, apparently not minding the suitcases that you had packed to leave that same night and start your new life on your own.

When you picked them up and touched the doorknob, Bakugou prevented you from opening the door.

"Stay." he told you firmly.  

"I thought you and I were over." you replied, touching your still flat stomach.

"Just stay, alright?" Katsuki sounded genuinely apologetic, and your determination to leave wavered. As harsh as he had been with you, there was no way you could stop loving him just like that. And so, you continued living together.

Your hopes that Katsuki had come around and was going to support you in your decision quickly vanished. In the months that followed, he was indifferent to your pregnancy woes. He talked to you mostly when it was necessary, but never asked about the baby or made plans that included them. If anything, he grew restless whenever he heard you vomit, or you arrived late to the agency because of your exhaustion. He even went ballistic when you fainted during a mission and he scooped you in his arms before you hurt yourself, letting the villain escape.

"Do you realize the position you just put me in because of your stubbornness?" Katsuki reprimanded you back in his office. You hadn't seen him this upset in a very long time. "Never. In my whole career a villain has gotten away from me! This will stain the perfect record of my agency!"

"I'm sorry! I told you I wasn't feeling well today!" Your hands were trembling and squeezed the cup of water one of the secretaries had brought you.

"I knew that baby would only be an inconvenience," He grumbled. You broke down in tears and cursed under your breath because your hormones were getting the best of you. "There's no use to lament over that now, I'll capture that bastard by myself. From now on you will stay here and do office work."

You didn't protest against his decision. You were going to miss the action, but at least you weren't going to put your pregnancy at risk anymore. Katsuki ignored you most of the time, preferring to increase his patrol time or to shut himself in his office to work on his cases. But you put up with it because you were used to deal with his explosive temper, and you knew that he didn't hate you. Sometimes his gaze softened when he looked at you, like when your relationship was at its best and he used to say he loved you. Those moments usually culminated with the two of you having soft sex. That had to account for something. 

When you started to show, Bakugou avoided you like the plague. Pregnancy took its toll on you, so you didn't always have the chance to follow him to work or wait for him awake at night. But you'd leave him the ultrasounds on the kitchen table with his dinner for him to reheat. He always ate the food, but left the pictures face-down and never made a comment about them.

Eventually, Katsuki started to talk normally to you again, but he still refused to address the elephant in the room. At this point, you began to realize Katsuki wasn't anymore the same man you had fallen deeply in love with, and it broke your heart. Yet, you made one last attempt to appeal to his humanity, his good heart, and save what was left of your relationship. 

"Katsuki, come here!" you beckoned him, barely able to hold back your excitement.

"What is it?" He approached you, but instead of answering him, you grabbed his hand and placed it flat over your belly, against the mound of your navel.

"The baby's kicking!"

Bakugou was taken aback and tried to remove his palm, but you kept a strong grip on him. To avoid hurting you by accident, he reluctantly played along. Definitely there was a hard bump inside your tummy, but it was still.

"I don't feel anything." he groaned, looking elsewhere.

"How come?" You moved his hand a little over the left. "I'm telling you they―oh! There they are again! Someone's going to be a firecracker!"

Bakugou's face scrunched up at the strange sensation, but you felt his hand relax under yours. He was very quiet, and your giggles were the only sound heard in the room. His fingers twitched when the child moved again, and he subtly stroked it, seemingly amazed with the life growing inside of you and finally pulled away.  

"Today I will find out our baby's gender. Would you like to come with me?" you hoped that with this, he'd finally wish for the baby as much as you did. All fathers dreamed with having a boy that could imitate them and bond over men's activities like playing soccer and shaving. Or a daughter to worship him, dance over his feet, and spoil rotten.

"Uh, I have patrol today." He replied awkwardly as he grabbed his duffel bag.

"But today's your day off."

"I'm covering up for Dunce Face. The idiot came down with the flu." Katsuki's insistence in turning his back on you was pushing your patience to its limit.

"I picked this date because I knew you were having spare time today," you tried to keep your voice even, but with the influx of pregnancy hormones, it took a tremendous effort to hold back the tears "Alright, sorry I did it without asking you first."

You were met with a long silence. You looked down, already feeling like giving up on him. But then, Katsuki kissed you on the lips with surprising delicacy. He hadn't done so since before the pregnancy, and it melted away the negative feelings that had started to grow in your heart.

"I'll see if I can make it for lunch."  

That sliver of hope was enough to bring a smile on your face. A smile so wide and joyful he hadn't seen in months. It made Katsuki feel remorseful for being an ass with you all this time. Hopefully, it wasn't too late to make amends. 

"I'll be waiting for you to celebrate at 'Four Seasons'! 1 p.m., we'll have a blast!" you chuckled, elation gleaming in your eyes.

You were expecting a boy. A very healthy and energetic one, according to the doctor. Though you had confirmed that by yourself on numerous occasions, when your child stirred inside your belly or kicked vigorously. Sometimes you wondered if he was fighting your placenta or if you were actually pregnant with twins.

"You are going to drive me crazy as soon as you come out," You sweetly talked to your baby. "Just like your dad. I can tell you will be all like him, please don't come out throwing off explosions."

Speaking of Katsuki, he was running late. 

Your appointment had ended an hour ago, and you had been waiting excitedly for him ever since to share the good news. You had drunk two glasses of grape juice and made a few trips to the restroom, but Katsuki was nowhere to be seen nor had he bothered to call you. 

You panicked. Could it be that Katsuki had purposefully given you hope, and now stood you up to spite you and show he still detested the idea of parenthood? 

No, he wasn't one to be that cruel. Whenever Katsuki was unhappy with something, he was one to express it plain and simple, without elaborate drama. But his attitude to your pregnancy was so confusing, that you didn't know what to think anymore.

Perhaps he had been stuck at work again. But then, why couldn't he at least text you to tell you he wasn't going to make it on time? Though he didn't promise you he would show up either. 

A loud growl interrupted your thoughts and you laughed softly while rubbing your belly. "You're very hungry, huh? What do you want to eat?" you looked down at the menu "Pasta? Spicy curry? Ah, this caramel parfait looks so delicious!" You spoke to your unborn child, trying to dispel your distress. 

After eating a plentiful meal and waiting another hour for Bakugou, You decided to return to the apartment and rest. You planned to pack your things as soon as possible. It was hard, but you had made up your mind. You were going to leave Katsuki and raise the baby by yourself the best you could. Your child deserved to be deeply loved, and Katsuki wasn't ready for that. Perhaps he would never be.

You were so absorbed in your thoughts, that you lowered your guard and didn't notice on time the strange man standing in the sidewalk, staring intently at the restaurant for a few minutes now. Nor to see him inject himself with a dose of Trigger, morph into a monstrous elephant, and charge at the wall behind you. 

Whatever happened to you between the moment you decided to be a single mother and your arrival to Musutafu Hospital was just a blur. The story of how a talented heroine, former sidekick of none other than Dynamight, didn't see a villain attack coming was absurd to say the least.

"The patient is Sokudo Yuna, 22 years old, presents possible crush injuries from debris at today's terrorist attack. She's 26 weeks pregnant."

Pain... you were in so much pain...

You felt a slight pressure on your stomach, making you squirm and moan in pain. "It's hemoperitoneum."

"Has anyone called the husband?"

You heard frantic voices. They echoed in your head. Your agony was growing worse by the minute. Why wasn't your lover there to save you?

"We can't have this baby." Katsuki's words haunted you.

"There's no time! The fetal heart rate is dropping. Emergency operation!"

"You have to give it up."

Why wasn't he there to comfort you?

"I knew that baby would only be an inconvenience!"

"Katsuki…" you mumbled when the nurse placed a mask over your nose. A tear rolled down your eyes as you lost consciousness. 

When did he stop loving you?

Unknowingly to you, Bakugou had been stalled by a group of bank robbers that apparently weren't expecting to be confronted by Dynamight in a zone belonging to Chargebolt. After dealing with them, he was surrounded by admirers asking him for pictures and his autograph, among them a young mother with a small daughter and a baby.

He remembered you were waiting for him at the restaurant, and nearly lost his shit in public. He rushed to 'Four Seasons' in his hero costume, hoping you were still waiting for him. You probably were going to leave him for real now.

Upon his arrival, Bakugou was met with the worst scenario: The place was in shambles, many injured people were being carried away by ambulances, and he saw a fellow hero dealing with the police as they took the culprit into custody.

"Man, I heard the bastard had a grudge against the owner 'cause he owed him money or somethin'."

"That poor pregnant lady though. She was right in this guy's way and among the last to be found."

When Bakugou heard that, a chill ran down his spine. He hoped they were talking about another pregnant woman and that you had left before the attack. But a dreadful gut feeling told him that it was you the one who they were referring to.

Katsuki never wanted this for you. As resentful as he had been at first for deciding to keep the child, deep down he was still very much in love with you and didn't insist with the abortion. He was not only determined to reach the coveted number one spot, but also to have you as his wife by the time that happened. Then you could move to a bigger house, and perhaps, discuss if you wanted children or not.

So, when your unplanned pregnancy disrupted the order in which he wanted to do things, he was scared. Due to his complex relationship with his own mother and his unrelenting ambition, Katsuki doubted he would make a decent father. His lack of patience and understanding towards you proved him right, and only worsened his paranoia, forcing him to put some distance between you.

However, after you pulled that stunt in the morning, it was as if he had been given a slap to return to his senses and he changed his mind about everything. Feeling the baby's movements was a huge revelation to him: You were carrying his child, the one he coldly told you to get rid of. His unborn baby gave you a hard time, yet you never complained, and looked forward to the birth despite his lack of support.

When he found you one night massaging your bump and singing to it, it occurred to Bakugou that you weren't being obstinate. You simply cared for your baby because it was the result of the love you had for him. When his child strongly kicked under his ring finger, Katsuki's chest swelled with pride. But also, he was ashamed of himself. He had been avoiding the situation instead of dealing with it properly like he was supposed to. Since when was he one to run off from a difficult situation?

At that moment, Katsuki decided that he was going to step up to the plate and ask you to marry him before the birth. Sure, you weren't yet at the pinnacle of your careers, and his parents were going to make a fuss, but he wasn't going to allow his baby to wander around and face the stigma of being the illegitimate child of a Pro-Hero. In an instant, he had come to love him and want to do so many things with him.

Nonetheless, that possibility was not plausible anymore.

When he finally arrived to Musutafu Hospital, Bakugou had to wait many hours in painful anticipation before he was given news about you. He really wanted to barge in and tug the doctors by the collar just to get answers out of them, but held back for your sake. He silently swore that if you made it out alive, he was going to make it up to you and become a better partner. He was going to put his pride aside and be your slave if that could prove how important you were to him.

He saw the doors open and the nurses taking you out of his reach in a stretcher to the recovery room. Bakugou could barely get a glimpse at your unconscious body before he almost cornered the doctor in charge of your surgery to get answers on your condition.

Unfortunately, your baby boy had died a few minutes after birth. Bakugou's heart broke, feeling like the worst person in the world after being so awful to you. He was going to have a son, and lost him before he could even promise you to be the best father for him. It was so ironic he was lost now, given how lively his son was moving that morning.

But that was not all.

Your uterus had ruptured, and it was impossible for the surgeons to repair the rupture points. The bleeding was so bad that they were forced to perform an hysterectomy on you to save your life.

You would never going to be able to bear children ever again.

His vision became blurry with tears, his hands curling into fists as he realized what he missed out on. The guilt rested too heavy on his shoulders and made him fall to his knees. What was going to be of you now, given how badly you wanted to be a mother?

Had he remembered your date on time, he could have been there to protect you and the baby. He should have told Kaminari to fuck off and accompany you to your doctor appointment. He shouldn't have fallen prey to his insecurities from the start and deny you the encouragement and protection you needed from him. It was All Might's retirement all over again.

When you opened your eyes later that night, you were already in your own private room.  There was a vase with your favorite flowers sitting next to you. You felt sluggish and winced uncomfortably at the slightest movement. Your belly was slightly swollen, but it was soft to the touch. Which only meant one thing: you weren't pregnant anymore.

"How's my baby?" you asked, turning your head. Katsuki was there, but you focused on the doctor and nurse present. "Is he alright?"

Their expressions were the prelude of the most dreadful sensation that took hold of you and crushed your hopes, cruelly and without hesitation.

"Regrettably, the chances for the baby's survival were extremely low. We couldn't save him," the doctor informed you with a hint of pity in his voice "Also, in order to keep you alive we had to remove your uterus. I'm sorry about your loss."

"Who asked you to let me live?" you asked with a sob.

You gasped for air as your cries robbed you of the little oxygen your lungs had. In an instant, your whole world came to a halt. Your body tried to curl up on itself, but the pain from the surgery prevented you from doing so. Tears streaked down your cheeks, your broken heart aching for the child you loved so dearly before it was even born.

The child that didn't get to see the light of day because you were unable to protect him.

You never should have waited this long in that restaurant. You should've never given in to that desire to have a family. You should have done as Katsuki told you to from the start. Never should have...

Your bereaved eyes met Katsuki's concerned ones. Hysteria, grief and bitterness possessed you at once. The nerve of him to show up now that there was no baby between the two of you infuriated you like nothing else. Bakugou should have just left you alone, like he said he would.

Your lips stopped trembling and you wiped your eyes, releasing a deep breath. It was no use to cry. Crying wasn't going to bring your child back or restore your womb. It was best to accept things and move on without much fuss. But you didn't intend to do that with the likes of Katsuki Bakugou.

"I was planning to leave you be and raise our son by myself, you know," You spoke first once you were left by yourselves. "While I was waiting for you, I thought I had to be strong and pull myself together for the sake of my baby and now," you looked down at your empty arms "I have nothing."

"You have me," he held your hand "We―"

"No, Bakugou," you brusquely jerked your hand away and venomously spat his name "There was never a 'we'. This whole situation has helped me understand that our long-term dreams are not compatible. I don't want you to stay by my side just to reassure yourself."

"You think I'm doing this because I pity you?" he asked you. Bakugou wanted to be more patient, but you were assuming the worst of him and that got under his skin. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"You never wanted this baby, you hypocrite! Don't pretend you are sad now that he's dead!"

Bakugou could barely recognize you. You always had been a restrained person, able to deal with his temperament and never to show much animosity. But the way you were glaring at him was full of pure, unadulterated hate. Not even the villains you had defeated got to receive such an hostile look.

"Just leave me the fuck alone."

"I won't! We haven't finished talking!"

You finally ran out of patience and grabbed the vase next to your bed, throwing it at him. Katsuki narrowly avoided it, but perhaps he should have let it hit his head.

"I hate you!" you screamed at the top of your lungs. "Go on and become number one hero like you've always wanted! I don't want you in my life ever again!"

Your wrath was so intense, that you actually left your bed to try to kick Bakugou out of the room. A couple of your stitches reopened, and a small trickle of blood ran down your thighs. Katsuki's eyes were wide in shock, his mouth hung low then he tightened his lips. The words he wanted to say were caught in his throat, probably because he knew that nothing he said would make you desist from your contempt aimed at him.

The nurse returned after hearing the commotion. "Sir, I will have to ask you to leave the room. You are upsetting the patient and she needs rest."

Katsuki clenched his jaw, fully aware that he was the harbinger of your greatest affliction. He didn't want to part from you, but accepted the consequences of his actions in order to spare you any more suffering. As Bakugou left the room, he could hear you sob and whisper...

"I wish I had never fallen in love with you."

Love was a most virulent disease designed by the devil to kill the heart of a person. You had barely survived its effects, it dried you from the inside out, leaving you an incomplete woman. You were a survivor determined to not fall prey of love again, and wondered if your quirk could be used to shield and constrict your heart to protect it.

TAGLIST: @sam-i-am-1025 @pinkpicklecolorparty, @arminsrealwifey (I tag you all after the first posting I made by accident! 😅), @queensynderella, @andypantsx3 (though I know this is not your jam) @arestorationofbalance​ (not your cup of tea either, but I nagged you with medical questions for a reason).

[musicdeejaysorceress]

Sensual Woman CD from 2010-2012Music Nostalgia Post 1

A Compilation of My Music Playlists Compiled From Amazon Youtube Etc.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Sensual Woman CD from 2010-2012 Music Nostalgia Post 1As With My other posts, I am very thankful for all who visit andor view my online posts. Due to the time I need to allow myself to get ready for work, I have enough time to at least list the songs and I pledge to add further details on how I came to hear about a multiple number of these songs by Wednesday December 19, 2018 andor sooner. The Following is a playlist that I put together on a blank cd from the time period sometime from either late 2010 andor to 2012, what I do know for sure it that it was definitely sometime after December 2010 because of the feature of the Katy Perry song. One of the reasons I feel comfortable sharing on why I put together such nostalgic playlists are that as outrageous andor unconventional as it sounds, I have a feeling that both my present and future interests andor even possibly some unexpected occurences in my life that my intuition and higher self/soul are calling my attention to are hidden in clues pertaining to my music interest andor present andor future circumstances related in some way to my personal andor professional life (for instance some of the songs reminding me in some way of fun andor carefree times with my husband andor music reminding me of a cd, a writing idea andor something else that I derived benefit from later in the present andor future via either some music I bought with money from employment andor something else such as recognizing why I might have used some of these songs for fun in some of my creative writing freestyle fiction stories for instance (including more reasons etc), more of which I have faith that I am going to understand why I am following my creative intuition to post the Sensual Woman playlist within 2 to 5 years andor less from now. Due to the controversial nature of a multiple number of these songs, I am following my creative intuition to keep them recorded in some of my emails, on just my googleplus, tumblr, and wordpress feed for now

Monday December 10 2018

Sensual Woman CD 2010-2012 More details to be added later by Wednesday December 19, 2018 andor sooner

Lovergirl  Teena Marie

Teeth  Lady Gaga

Peacock  Katy Perry

I Think I Love You by  Balm (derived from the Trance Party Vol. 6 compilation mixed by the Happy Boys)

Untouched  The Veronicas

Something Kinda Ooooh  Girls Aloud

Sensitized  Kylie Minogue-Sensitized by Kylie Minogue is a distinctive club song that I have to credit finding out about around late 2007/winter timeframe from her Kylie Minogue's X collection. I just wish that it would have enjoyed more popularity here in the U.S. I think that the song's novelty was maybe ahead of its time by 2 to 3 years and that maybe it would have been more widely known if it was released andor featured more once electronic dance music because more popular on more American radio stations post 2010.

Because the Night 10000 Maniacs

Gimme Some Love   Gina G

Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover  Sophie B Hawkins

Come Go With Me  Expose

Self Control  Laura Branigan

Sexual (Li Da Di)  Amber

Possession   Sarah Mclachlan

Irresistible  The Corrs

Ride A White Horse Goldfrapp

Erotica Madonna

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Music Nostalgia Post 1

Music Nostalgia SectionTo my facebook and googleplus viewers; I appreciate all who take the time to look at my posts including my music nostalgia posts. I understand that the number of music nostalgia videos I have been sharing are multiple. However, I am following my creative intuition to finish what I started a few days ago to share some more music nostalgia posts from my 20s at least tonight for both present and future reference towards hidden creative interests through music that penetrate my soul that I also have faith/trust might uplift others as well. Additionally, I was going to finish up in sharing some more music nostalgic videos tonight because I am both intuitively and logically aware that I have some things that I must attend to around this time tomorrow evening.  Now on to the remaining nostalgia music themed videos I intend to share tonight-This dreamy pop song that is Breathless by the Corrs is a joyful type of pop tune that I unexpectedly came across in 2001 when I was still stationed in Yokosuka Japan through a Grammy Awards 2001 music compilation that I purchased from a Navy Exchange. I like how the music creatively blends with the push the envelope type of vocals.  For my googleplus and facebook sharing section-there is a fun music video to this song that seems to be an aviation component with the Corrs group singing with a plane featuring in the music video. Strangely enough I also started to listen to this song more often after I had been stationed at an aviation squadron in California from October 2003 until early 2005. Creative fiction storytelling idea; a tv andor movie commercial that shows the Breathless song by the Corrs by the year 2021 andor sooner.

I have to credit first hearing the Flip and Fill remix of Satellites by September around the 2008 timeframe from a music cd collection titled Trance Party Vol. 6 (a music collection that I purchased from a navy exchange in Mayport Florida around the 2006/2007 timeframe)by the time I was living in Norfolk Virginia. I always took this song to symbolize being careful to avoid comparing your progress to others to kind of be a best friend to yourself and just see the gift of another day as a chance to start another day. I am also reposting the comment I included about this song for a  nostalgic music playlist post tonight that I am going to start on my googleplus, tumblr, and wordpress blogs.The Flip & Fill Remix Version of Satellites by September is beyond an incredible and healing song. Another version I have heard before is also fantastic to listen to. However,I enjoy listening to this version (Flip & Fill Remix) of Satellites by September as I find it very musically and spiritually therapeutic.Creative fiction storytelling idea; an uplifting spiritual book comes out by the year 2030 based on the message of the song Satellite by September.

Like It or Not by MadonnaMy sweet husband gifted me with the music collection of Confessions on the Dancefloor by Madonna sometime around the 2005/2006 timeframe when we were both living on the Mayport Florida base. Like it or Not by Madonna was one of the unique dance songs on that I took to right away. I still have yet to make out the full meaning of this song years later yet I am taking a wild intuitive guess that maybe it is a self confidence type of anthem.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a future fictional movie of  female characters Mata Hari and Cleopatra  inspired by the Like it or Not song that Madonna creates is released by the year 2040 andor sooner.

Around the World by AquaI admit that this festive and upbeat type of tune that is Around the World by Aqua seeped into my soul/spirit after I first heard this song around the summer/autumn 2001 from a music collection that I purchased from one of the liberty ports that I visited from my time in the navy. For my facebook, tumblr, googleplus, and tumblr-I admit that I wish that I could remember with great clarity which liberty port it was because I had seen India, Dubai, and Singapore among some of the multiple stops during that time yet I am guessing and thinking that I unexpectedly discovered this song through a music collection that I bought at a shopping mall in India. I remember for sure that it was a music collection from one of those 3 places (India, Dubai, or Singapore)even though I have also purchased music cd imports from Dubai, Singapore and Hong Kong before as all three places carried music import collections from Europe.Creative storytelling idea; a food cooking show based andor inspired on the song Around the World by Aqua released sometime by the year 2029 andor sooner.

Things Can Only Get Better by Howard JonesI remember frequently hearing this song Things Can Only Get Better by Howard Jones on local radio around the 2006/2007 timeframe eerily when I would be truly making an effort to either listen to my intuition from within my soul andor see the good in what both the unexpected challenges of life and the unexpected good experiences in life were teaching me. I know it sounds strange yet it was as if my soul/spirit andor intuition was reminding me to always believe and expect that life circumstances could always get brighter andor even better than expected despite what was projected in current circumstances.  I also take this song as a healing spiritual reminder to always see the glass half full through various life circumstances.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a theater play based on Things Can Only Get Better by Howard Jones released by the year 2039 andor sooner.I admit that I have to credit hearing this song

 If You Only Knew by Shinedown via local Orlando Florida song around the 2009 timeframe. This band also has a multiple number of other good songs; Second Chance, State of My Head, Cut the Cord, Human Radio, and more. However, If You Only Knew by Shinedown shows the emotion of love in a creative and meaningful light.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a tv episode based on this song shown on tv by the year 2038 andor sooner.

Wherever You Are I Feel Love by LaavaI admit that I look at multiple online websites nowadays for news articles and to be informed andor entertained in some way (msn google yahoo Washington post Virginian Pilot and more). However, I admit to first hearing about this Wherever You Are I Feel Loved song by Laava online around the 2005/2006 timeframe through yahoo radio. I feel a colorful and mystical type of vibe with this dance/club love song.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a fictional movie, tv episode andor story on a long distance relationship, partnership, andor marriage that is released by the year 2042 andor sooner features this song as one of the songs on the music soundtrack.

I am lucky/fortunate to have first been exposed to a variation of this euphoric cheery energy song that is Come Into My Dream by Foggy via online around the 2005/2006 timeframe. For some unexpected reason, I started to enjoy this song even more around the 2008/2009 timeframe and to this day I get a joyful/take each day of life as a gift type of feeling when I hear this melody.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a futuristic movie, tv episode andor film based on andor related to/inspired by the Inception film except set in the year 2130 features this song Come Into My Dream by Foggy and is released by the year 2088 andor sooner.I always took this song Better Than Life by Ultrabeat to be about feeling good in life.

 I admit that I became aware of the Better Than Life Ultrabeat song after hearing it on a Now Dance 2005 Vol. 1 music collection after purchasing it from Amazon UK around December 2008 (when I was residing in Norfolk Virginia).Creative fiction storytelling idea; a music festival themed after the Better Than Life message organized by the year 2035 andor sooner.

I truly wish that I could remember the exact music compilation where I first heard this music gem that is True Love Never Dies by Kelly Llorena and Flip & Fill around the 2005/2006 timeframe. What I do remember is that it was a UK music compilation and I took the sign to be a symbolism of enduring love. Regardless, I enjoy the festive and upbeat energy of this song.Creative fiction storytelling idea; an enduring love song playlist includes this song.

This appealing dance/pop/club tune that is Totally Addicted to Bass by Puretone is another tune that I first heard through a music compilation and I am fortunate to remember that I first heard this unique tune (Apollo 440 mix) via the Hits 52 music compilation (a UK import) by the 2005/2006 timeframe. Still, I am glad for whoever made Totally Addicted to Bass available on youtube in this version because it is closely related to the song I heard on Hits 52 and to this day I find this song entertaining to listen to.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a futuristic computer game that is released by the year 2058 andor sooner includes this song.

This song Sky by Sonique was a tune that I remember hearing around 2001 from a music compilation titled Passion that had an image of a heart inside a red/orange like colored background (I think was a UK music import) that I purchased from a liberty port that I visited when I was stationed in Yokosuka Japan. Sky by Sonique also reminds me of a happy love song type of vibe that is similar to her other song It Feels So Good.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a song to be included in a happy love type of story andor playlist.

Babycakes by 3 of a Kind is a racy and innovative dance/club tune that I definitely first heard around December 2008/early 2009 via a UK music collection (Now Dance 2005 Vol. 1). I still have yet to make out the full meaning of this song over 9 years after first hearing the song. However, I have to admit that the theme of the group members mixing the theme of making desserts in the kitchen definitely adds a bold and creative music vibe.Creative fiction storytelling idea; Group members from 3 of a Kind combine the theme of the music video of their song Babycakes with a music collaboration with Katy Perry of Katy Perry’s Bon Appetit music video by the year 2028 andor sooner.

Black Coffee by All Saints is a romantic/pop tune that I definitely first heard by the 2005/2006 timeframe.  I wish that I could remember the first music compilation that I actually first heard this song. Fortunately, this song brings back positive memories for me because fortunately my husband and I were becoming closer to each other in our marriage when I first heard this song. Even to this day, I still have yet to make out the full meaning of this song. However, I personally take Black Coffee by All Saints to be a cautionary tale to also treasure and appreciate the one you love  and know stands by you through both challenging and good/blessed times  (whether it is a spouse, friend andor family member) even though I’m intuitively aware that this song Black Coffee by All Saints probably symbolizes so much more in a meaningful way.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a happy love story or love movie that features this song as part of one of their themes that is released by the year 2050 andor sooner.

I admit that I am probably always going to associate this edgy song Voodoo Child by Rogue Traders  to the Dr. Who Television series in a similar way that others do because that is one of my first memories of when I first heard this catchy pop/electro rock song around the 2005/2006 timeframe. My sweet husband had a significant influence on me watching the episode with him which is why I am probably going to always have a positive connection with this song regardless of the meaning of this song. I admit that I still have yet to make out the full meaning of this song. However on a positive note, the uniqueness of this song is always going to at least help remind me of one of my husband’s interests for at least the rest of my current earth lifetime (the Dr. Who tv show).Creative fiction storytelling idea; someone andor more than one person connected to the creation of this song Voodoo Child by the Rogue Traders discusses the full meaning of this song by the year 2039 andor sooner.

This song Insatiable by Darren Hayes is also another tune that I am glad is made available on youtube. I actually unexpectedly first heard this Insatiable song by Darren Hayes on television around the  2002 timeframe when I was staying at a hotel in Tokyo Japan (I think it was the New Sanno hotel). Nonetheless, the distinctive song has bold energy coupled with intense vocals and music that fits the mood of this underrated song. The music collection that this Insatiable song is on also has some other fun multiple songs included within the compilation.Creative fiction storytelling idea; Insatiable by Darren Hayes;a perfect song to go into a passionate love story andor passionate love playlist.

I like the electro and club vibe energy in this song Number 1 by Goldfrapp. I luckily first heard this song around the 2005/2006 via online.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a theater or stage play based on this song playing at some type of amusement park by the year 2050 andor sooner.

I am lucky fortunate to have heard Heaven by DJ Sammy feat. Do by the early 2000s either from a music collection andor online(somewhere between the 2002 to 2005 timeframe). Nonetheless, I enjoy this spiritually elevating type of dance/trance love song and on the bright side this song definitely makes me think of the blessing that is my husband of 14 years. I admit that hearing this song actually contributed to me also enjoy the Heaven version by Bryan Adams which makes it tricky for me to choose which version of Heaven I enjoy more.Creative fiction storytelling playlist; this song being part of a one of a kind/healing/enduring love playlist

I admit that I wish that I could remember if I first heard Live Your Life by T.I. feat Rihanna from either local Norfolk Virginia radio andor television though I do remember it was definitely by the late 2008/early 2009 timeframe. The music collaboration featuring T.I. and R.I. is both a daring and push the envelope type of ambition song with the subtle music melding from the part of the music beat from the Dragostea Din Ti song by O-Zone.Creative fiction storytelling idea; an airplane themed movie, tv episode andor book that features both the versions by T.I. and Rihanna and Ozone by the year 2041 andor sooner.

Let Me Blow Ya Mind by Eve feat. Gwen Stefani is definitely an amusing and motivational music collaboration song that appears to be a tune about persistence andor self confidence. I am definitely glad that I unintentionally discovered this song after hearing it on the Now That’s What I Call Music 7 Collection (US version that I purchased from a navy exchange in Yokosuka Japan by sometime around the 2001/2002 timeframe). The music video of Let Me Blow Ya Mind by Eve feat. Gwen Stefani is also entertaining to watch.Creative fiction storytelling idea; a movie andor tv episode pertaining to some type of house andor mansion party inspired by the music video is released by the year 2039 andor sooner.

I admit that Kylie Minogue is another musician that my loving husband had an influence in getting me to listen to her music more often after he and I unexpectedly met in 2002. By mid 2004, I started listening to Kylie Minogue’s music more often from my own free will with a multiple number of her hit songs-Red Blooded Woman, On a Night Like This, Chocolate, Come Into My World,  I Believe In You, one of her greatest hits collections,songs from her other music collections such as 2007’s X and  more.  I first heard Love At First Sight either from a music collection andor from a cd that my husband was playing by around the 2002/2003 timeframe when we were both still living in Yokosuka Japan. Regardless of when I first heard this love song, I take Love at First Sight by Kylie Minogue to be a dance/club love song to be about a special andor destined love connection that transformed into a happy type of love story and she met this love at first sight person right when she least expected it (which I can relate as I unexpectedly met my husband when I least expected it). Anyhow, I’m guessing the lyrics of the music you were playing really blew my mind to symbolize maybe their romantic connection was further solidified either via shared/common music interests andor shared spiritual energy. Anyhow, I admit that Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue also makes me think of my husband in a meaningful way(we’re destined to be together at least in our current earth lifetimes together type of vibe).Creative fiction storytelling idea; a multiple number of Kylie Minogue’s songs are made into plays by the year 2040 andor sooner.

[blitzbee-and-gt]

RoE Chapter 24

LAST ONE let’s go

“Yeah, right, yeah, absolutely,” Bumblebee said, trying to follow along while his processor spun around one single question over and over. “So—uh—Megatron wasn’t there, was he? And neither was Blitzwing? Just wondering, I mean, maybe they split up or something, I don’t know. You’re sure you didn’t see Blitzwing? Or—or Megatron?”

real subtle, Bee

He was so wrong, Blitzwing thought, swallowing hard. He was right, of course, but he was so, so wrong. Self preservation had become unimportant to Blitzwing months ago. 

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

There is more than one yellow car on this planet, Blitzwing told himself harshly, tilting a wing to the side and rocketing away from the city.

I think someone already said this in a comment somewhere but seeing a yellow car and immediately thinking of Bumblebee is like. the quintessential TF fan experience lmao

Nor would any human choose to paint their vehicle with such a tacky black racing stripe.

I mean, Captain Fanzone did but I guess that’s beside the point

A single thought dominated Bumblebee’s processor: Blitzwing was okay.

Relief washed over him, though the feeling was quickly replaced by panic, wondering if Blitzwing had seen his life signal and was being sent to kill him.

I mean I know why but WHY would you think that, Bee D:

Blitzwing growled, his face spinning to red with a whirr that made Bumblebee’s spark jump into his throat. 

i Love how he much he missed the sound of Blitzwing’s face changing, considering how much he hated it at the start of the fic

“Bumblebee.”

Bumblebee paused, looking up at Blitzwing, who was standing even closer now, close enough to send Bumblebee’s spark into a whole series of acrobatic flips. 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

“You started acting strange at some point,” Blitzwing said, raising a brow, looking almost smug. “And I think I may have figured out why.”

you didn’t “figure out” shit you oblivious dumbass, Bumblebee straight-up told you.

like I guess he didn’t specifically say “I’ve been weird bc I like you” but you don’t get a cookie for being able to put 2 and 2 together to make 4

“You were weird too!” Bumblebee said defensively, crossing his arms. “You got all… distant and confusing after you told me about that—that stuff

d. did he though????

Bumblebee scoffed loudly, rolling his optics hard. “Can you shut up and let me talk?”

“No,” Blitzwing said, suddenly dropping to one knee, holding himself at Bumblebee’s level. “You’ve done enough talking for one evening.”

HERE WE GO

He felt his frame move of its own accord as he rushed forward, jamming himself into Blitzwing’s hand and grabbing onto his face, fingers quivering as he finally, finally closed the gap between their lips.

Ohhh my god. Ohhh ,y god. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh THERE IT IS THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS. OH MY GOD. EAYEAYEYAYEAHEYAHEY EYAEAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAS. I FOOUND IT. I FOUND IT. I FOUND IT. I FOUND IT. YEAH. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I FOUNDI IT FINALLY!!!!! YEAH!!!!! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND IT. OH MY GODO. HOH MY GOD. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. TAKE A LOOK AT HTIS EVERBODY. A LIVE SHINY PONYTA IN MY LEAF GREEN VERSION. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. I FINALLY GOT IT. OH MY GOD my heart is beating 100 miles per hour. i was listening to my favorite band once again. Sum 41. No Reason. Live in Ontario 2005. after 25968 encounters I HAVE FINALLY GOT IT OH My god corre al gol, lo va a patear yyyy GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOoOoOoOoOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL!!!!!……QUE GOLAZOOOOO!!!! *churns butter very quickly*

Blitzwing chuckled, pressing his helm more firmly against Bumblebee’s, a servo tracing the outline of Bumblebee’s waistline.

“We can’t do this,” Blitzwing breathed, his digits pressing against Bumblebee’s back.

“We can’t do this” big words coming from the one who fuckign. practically BEGGED for this kiss and initiates the next 3 in the first damn place. you dumbass.

anyway im Dead I love this fic so damn much.

I’ll probably start writing up AufN liveblogs later this week once I’m done w/finals but tbh I highly doubt anyone’s actually reading these so. the only one I’d be disappointing by posting super late is myself

[sortofgetit]

Bullhammer Tour - Cork

For my fellow Wade Barrett/Stu Bennett fans here’s a few of my observations & recollections from the first night of his ‘Evening With’ Bullhammer Tour.

A lot of what he said wasn’t really any massive surprise, either in terms of stories that have been heard in interviews or in the sense that nowadays the fans have a reasonably fair idea of how things work backstage. 

@scarfrost @bingbinghua @boom-boom-barrett @gatesvengeance-x @loving-wwe @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues @kiaretta985 @braunstrowman @captainbigdickambrose @penguinsstealingsanity

He talked about his career in mostly chronological order, though there was a bit of a time skip towards the end when Kenny from ITR had to excuse himself & hand over interview duties to one of his team. New guy seemed to jump right to the parting of the ways, skipping over the whole King Barrett & League of Nations runs. Luckily the fan questions filled some of this in. What I’m jotting down here might not be in exactly the order it was mentioned last night, but please be kind to me, I was busy being dazzled by the man himself :)

The main thing, or at least the thing that I as a fan was both most happy and saddened to hear was that leaving when he did was indeed his own decision, but he came to that decision after being burned out from all the false starts and half assed programs that started strong but not were fully optimised. It’s not nice hearing that anyone, especially one of your favourites, is feeling so frustrated by something they love doing to the point that they’re ready to walk away, but at the same time, I’m glad he took that power back and made the choice himself to go. 

He wasn’t bitter in anyway when speaking about WWE, but in no way was he just trotting out the company line either. It was rather refreshing to hear a departed superstar talk the way he did, very even keeled & genuine.  

He doesn’t believe that the wrestler he was when he was signed would be signed now since wrestling as a whole has come on so far. Also said that the wrestlers who haven’t come up through the current NXT system are now at a disadvantage since NXT is Hunter’s baby & it needs to be seen to be paying off.

One of his most funny cringe-making memories from FCW was attempting a ‘Brodus Clay style belly flop’ on Colt Cabana. Due to his very not Brodus Clay style build, it looked ridiculous & Al Snow used the video of footage of what became known as Stu’s Skinny Splash repeatedly as an example of what not to do.

He visibly shuddered & laughed when the subject moved to NXT. 

The NXT Rookies were given a week’s notice of what would happen and yes, it was pretty universal that everyone involved found it hilarious that Daniel Bryan was the Miz’s rookie. That said he spoke very highly of the Miz - called him a solid worker in the ring and a great character performer.

On his own pro, he did say that Jericho gave him advice and he knew that he could count on him to make sure he drew Vince’s attentions. He’s convinced that it was his performance in the Talk the Talk Challenge that clinched the eventual win for him.

When the Nexus invaded Raw, the only instructions they were given were not to touch the public or the cameras, everything else was fair game. Fit Finlay took Wade aside and told him to pull back the canvas to expose the boards. He also said that a woman in the crowd attacked him that night, believing the whole 

He was quite diplomatic on the subject of Cena & the Nexus. He said that the outcome of Team Nexus vs Team Cena at SummerSlam 2010 was changed on the day in order ‘to have the PPV end on a positive note’. He firmly believes that this was a bullshit reason & that having the Nexus lose damaged both his own, and the group’s heel credibility. Apparently plenty of other more established members of the locker room, including Jericho, agreed. He didn’t specifically say that Cena had anything to do with the change in finish, just that to this day, he still didn’t know the real reason. When asked about Cena not wearing the Nexus shirt, he said that he believed it may have been related to merch sale percentages. Instead of getting whatever his own substantial cut of vast volumes of merch sales would be, Cena would be risking selling less of his own only to get a share of the Nexus’s 5% on their shirt sales. Wade was very adamant that this had never been confirmed to him, it was just his understanding.

Mention of the Corre made him shudder even more than mention of NXT. Vince designed that hideous shirt himself in 5 seconds & the spelling was to avoid copyright infringement with a movie, again a 5 second decision by Vince. Everyone thought it was terrible, but since no one was going to say no to the boss, it happened.

Heath Slater’s mama called him out at Heath’s wedding for spreading rumour’s about the Corre’s extra R being as a result of Heath’s stupidity. He said that Heath was the nicest man in wrestling & would literally give you the shirt from his back, but wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box.

JBL was instrumental in getting the Bad News Barrett idea noticed by Vince after Wade had filmed some segments for the JBL & Cole show as Bad News. I think the whole story about that is well known, but I’m mentioned it here just because he said that he knows JBL has been getting a pretty bad rap lately, but he always found him to be a decent guy. There was silence in the room. Zero reaction - you could have heard a pin drop.

The only time he was ever yelled at by Vince was after his “It’s me, it’s me, it’s BNB...” promo, immediately when he returned to Gorilla. Since Vince gave off about him saying he was DDP and he doubt’s that he recalled DDP’s catchphrase from all those years ago, he’s pretty sure that someone else backstage mentioned it & Vince got the wrong end of the stick. Enzo & Cass were backstage at the time on a visit up to see how the main shows worked and Wade getting screamed at over a promo put the frighteners on him a little bit. He admits that this moment was also the beginning of the end for him as it then led to less mic time opportunities which he (quite rightly imo) saw as one of his strengths.

He doesn’t think that either King Barrett or the League of Nations was used to the extent it could have been. League of Nations in particular was a squandered opportunity. Though all four members had what it took to make them a powerful heel faction, very quickly they found that they were being used only to give Roman a credible opposition in order to build his character.

By the time he left, he was so disheartened with wrestling that he didn’t watch a thing until the World of Sport special on UK TV (originally shown on New Year’s Eve). So disheartened too that being in the ring with Stone Cold, Foley & HBK at Wrestlemania was just meh to him.

He didn’t watch the UK Championship Tournament (because he doesn’t have the Network!) and isn’t all that familiar with the promotions or wrestlers of the current British & Irish indie scene. Which sort of makes sense since he was occupied with WWE for so long & the renaissance of the scene is concurrent with his period of disillusionment. He did speak highly of both Marty Scurll & Rampage Brown, both of whom he’s trained with & known for a long while. (This was @jellybelly30‘s excellent question.)

Although he doesn’t believe that John Laurinaitis ever went to bat for him & that this hindered his progress in WWE, Wade doesn’t necessarily have a bad relationship with them. He still has plenty of friends in both talent & production that he is regularly in touch with, even though not in any official capacity - his exact words were ‘if you don’t work for them, you don’t exist’.

He doesn’t forsee a return to the ring any time soon, but he said himself, wrestlers never really retire. He did say though that if WWE were to ask him back under the same sort of conditions as the ones which made him want to leave, he would refuse. He’ll be doing some commentary for WCPW’s PPV this weekend though if anyone is interested.

When asked for his opinion of Vince, he answered that Vince doesn’t do anything just for the good of his heart. He may like to give the impression that he’s doing things out of benevolence, but ultimately his eye is always on the bottom line.

There wasn’t any mention of his acting projects & most of the fan questions were variants of ‘will you go back?’, but all in all it was an interesting night. Like I said at the start of this post, some, if not all of this might be old hat if you’re a fan, but if not, I hope I at least remembered the interesting bits.

And in case you’re wondering...yes, he seems a lot happier now :)

[sherlockedpotterhead9012]

  Ted Neeley in Jesus Christ Superstar

I was browsing Buzzfeed the other day when I found an article about the Mary Magdalene film starring Rooney Mara (as Mary) and Joaquin Phoenix (as Jesus).

To be honest, at first I thought it was great that a film about Mary Magdalene would be coming to theaters soon, especially because of the issues many in the Church might have with her story being portrayed well on screen (she wasn’t a prostitute?!).

Then I saw the casting, and I got frustrated at the fact that once again, two white actors are portraying religious and historical figures of color.

Daily Mail

I quickly went to IMBD to check out the rest of the cast, and I discovered that black, Israeli, and Algerian actors will be playing Jesus’ disciples.

Which is…better than having them all be white, too, I suppose. At least this casting is a bit more accurate.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1507708/mediaviewer/rm1386924800

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5601350/mediaviewer/rm2440753408

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0615688/mediaviewer/rm3960603136

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0252230/mediaviewer/rm2499665408

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2588665/mediaviewer/rm4292257536

Starting from top left: Australian actor Ryan Corr as Joseph, Israeli actor Tawfeek Barhom as James, Matthew Moshonov as Matthew, British actor Chiwetel Ejiofor as Peter, and French actor Tahar Rahim

This being said, Hollywood is not off the hook. The fact that in most biblical films, Jesus is cast as a white man while the people of color are relegated to the supporting cast is a greater symptom of the American white savior complex.

  Jim Caviezel in Passion of the Christ

Ewan McGregor in Last Days in the Desert

The simplest way to define the white savior as an entertainment trope is a white character rescuing people of color from their plight. While many well-meaning people defend these characters as benign and even admirable (perhaps citing that they learn a lesson about themselves and “those people” and become “better” in the end), they are actually rather harmful.

The danger of the white savior mentality is that it enables the savior to look down on the ones they try to “save.” It allows the savior to say, “You are only worthy of my time, attention, and compassion as long as you are beneath me. Never equal to me, and definitely not above me.”

The white savior complex “racializes morality by making us consistently identify with the good white person saving the non-white people who are given much less of an identity in these plot lines. It also frames people of color as being unable to solve their own problems.”

This racialization of morality frames white people as the good guys, and the people of color as either the bad guys or the ones needing saved.

White savior mentality does not embolden people on the “receiving” end to take agency over their own lives.

One of the primary results of the white savior/one needing saved relationship is enmeshment, which can occur “in any relationship where there is a power imbalance due to structural inequality, and ensures that the power imbalance stays firmly in place, resulting in frustration and resentment for the oppressed group.” This ensures that the person or people being saved become fully dependent on their saviors to survive and thrive, while the saviors get a nice dose of purpose and goodwill from having saved someone. They are dependent on each other for the wrong reasons.

The white savior mentality does not allow people of color, or those being “rescued” or “saved,” to voice their own concerns or opinions about their own lives. Instead, the saved remain subservient to their saviors, who tell them to trust in the savior’s goodness and logic above their own needs.

This is prevalent in reality, as seen in the accusations of TV personalities and news anchors concerning black culture and black individuals. There seem to be zero forms of protest that a person of color can participate in which white leaders will not criticize. This is why Black Lives Matter can be deemed “the new KKK” with little to no mainstream backlash. It’s why any criticism about white supremacy and privilege is clapped back against with cries of “reverse racism” and accusations of “not letting the past be past.”

Feminists are not exempt from this.

Rafia Zakaria writes in Al Jazeera, “Nonwhites are expected to approbate and modify their own lives or positions to participate in this [white feminist] narrative. The parameters of this paradigm ignore differences in privilege that separate the white and nonwhite feminisms. White women dominate the mainstream American feminism because they can still draw on white privilege and occupy the entire category.”

If left ignored, women of color will continue to be ostracized by a movement which claims to seek liberation for all.

This is why, for the literal love of Jesus, we need to drop the white savior complex, from our media and from our lives.

Jesus regarded everyone with whom he interacted as inherently worthy of his love and attention. But white savior mentality does not acknowledge the inherent dignity within every human being as a child of God.

If we continue to call ourselves the Body of Christ on earth, yet continue to ignore our siblings’ cries for justice, then we are attempting to cast off our hands and feet, destroying the Body from the inside out.

We will also damage our testimony as Christ’s body on earth to those who are not in the Church.

A personal case in point: I have a Middle Eastern, Muslim father, but I did not grow up with him. I grew up with my white mother and white family, so I learned about Arabic culture from them and the media.

And they didn’t exactly paint the best picture. Especially post 9-11.

Post 9/11, I thought all Arabs were terrorists, because that’s all I saw in the news, in TV shows, and in movies. I thought they were oppressive to women and democracy and all the other things Americans claim to hold dear (but they really don’t).

I know how this affected me, and I know how it could affect my younger siblings, and the people with whom they interact, especially in an era of proposed “Muslim bans” and chants to “Build the Wall.”

I worry about representation because of what it will tell the world about my family.

So what do we, the white Americans wrestling with our white savior complexes, need to do?

A small way to break this oppressive cycle is to consume more media with better representations of people of color, in which they, not us, are the predominant actors, writers, producers, and directors.

Love comics? Check out Black Panther, Ms. Marvel, and America Chavez.

http://www.trbimg.com/img-581ce8ff/turbine/la-trabrown-1478289681-snap-photo/650/650×366

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/cmx-images-prod/Item/337633/337633._SX360_QL80_TTD_.jpg

https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/story_medium/public/thumbnails/image/2017/01/26/16/marvel-comics-america-beyonce.jpg

Looking for a new show to binge-watch on Netflix? Check out Luke Cage, The Get Down, or 3%.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjE5Mzg0NzU3OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDg1ODg2MTI@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_.jpg

https://art-s.nflximg.net/f3e7f/62f12a060e9f53a7cf18089b11bc46d8673f3e7f.jpg

https://art-s.nflximg.net/aee8c/bd41c22810c552da22eb82dffe2faeac342aee8c.jpg

Want a Redbox night? Rent Moonlight or Get Out.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNzQxNTIyODAxMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzQyMDA3OTE@._V1_UX182_CR0,0,182,268_AL_.jpg

http://www.foxforcefivenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/get-out-mainstage-dated-58828bab73e20-1.png

If you don’t consume media with predominantly POC casts and production because you think it’s “too harsh” on white people, or you wonder why you’re not in the lead role like you’re used to, you might be feeling a trace of what black, Latinx, Arab, and other “minority” communities have felt for years.

We often have the audacity to ask, in a culture we dominate, “What about me?”

I asked that question as a four year old when I was dying Easter eggs with my cousins because I didn’t want to share the Easter egg dye with them. As a child, I acted like a child, as do we all. Now, it’s time to leave our childish ways behind.

Will watching and reading more stories in which people of color are the heroes and heroines change the world overnight?

Of course not.

It can, however, begin to change our mentality, break stereotypes, and empower people of color.

And for the literal love of Christ, we can do that much.

For the Literal Love of Christ, Stop Making Jesus White Ted Neeley in Jesus Christ Superstar I was browsing Buzzfeed the other day when I found…

[ciathyzareposts]

Intermission: Med Systems Marathon – 1980 Rundown

by Will Moczarski

Introduction

According to issue 017 of “Compute! Magazine” (Oct. 1981), “MED SYSTEMS has been publishing and distributing software worldwide since 1979”. If my research is correct, Med Systems Software started developing and publishing games for the TRS-80 (and subsequently the Commodore PET and the Apple ][) more or less at the same time. In 1980, they not only released Rat’s Revenge, Deathmaze 5000, Labyrinth  and Reality Ends but also ten more games and applications. Having reviewed the four available adventure games in previous “Missed Classics” playthroughs, I will dedicate this post to a short rundown of the games that don’t really fit the “Adventure Gamer” template, as Med Systems appears to have been a consistently interesting company.

Multiple attempts to contact William F. “Mike” Denman, jr., who apparently was one of the company’s two lead programmers as well as its president, sadly all but failed. I’ve tried several e-mail addresses and social media platforms, but alas, I never even received a reply. The other main protagonist of the company’s early years was Frank Corr, jr., whom I didn’t even find a trace of online. Most of the early games are still available in some form – several of the manuals can also be found in web archives. Many of the games don’t have in-game credits, so there’s basically no telling who wrote the games without surviving manuals. Sadly, three of the adventure games released in 1980 (or even before?) appear to be lost altogether, but more on that below. Through my research I came up with the following timeline of Med Systems games and applications released in 1980:

I am unable to derive the name of the ‘16K Manager’ from its ad. Also, Samurai, Starlord, Reality Ends and Bureaucracy may have been released much earlier as the September ad talks about them being available for other computers as well now. As I didn’t find an earlier ad, this is pure speculation, though. Otherwise, the timeline seems likely: The initial focus on educational games makes sense. I also know that Ghost’s Gallery is basically a variation of the earlier The Playful Professor. Moreover, it makes sense that the text adventures were released before the event of the 3-D continuum games.

When breaking the “16K barrier” was cutting-edge

From 1981, there seems to have been a change. Med Systems also published games by authors who were neither Corr nor Denman – including the late Jyym Pearson of Adventure International fame, as well as Simon Smith and the late Ken Kalish. The company seems to have left behind adventure games in 1983 when they focused on other genres. Their second line of products appear to have been educational games for children and adults alike – some of them might even shed some light on the fact that they apparently meant to start out as Med(ical) Systems. But even without the medical educational game that is The Human Adventure (William F. Denman jr., 1980), many of the games appear to deal with mental illness or popular depictions of “asylums”. This goes for their most popular game, Asylum (1981) which even warranted a sequel (1982), as well as The Institute (1981). The earlier 3-D adventures I’ve already played through also allude to their fiction actually representing a state of mental disorder, and in Reality Ends no less than the dissolution of reality itself is at stake. Med Systems were thus innovative as a (technical) pioneer of 3-D adventure games that fused the genres of the maze game and the text adventure – most successfully in the Asylum games. Also, they were among the earliest companies to tackle mental illness in a computer game – even without resorting to the convenient ‘amnesia’ plot.

With Denman pulling the ‘Crowther’ on me, I can only resort to speculation when trying to piece together the company history of Med Systems. I will try to sort the games chronologically best I can but many facts are still confusing me. Some dates are unclear (was The Farvar Legacy released in 1981 or was it 1983? What is the order of the games released in a given year?) and some games are lost. This is the reason why I’d like to put out a rather unusual…

Request for Assistance: Lost Games – Bureaucracy, Samurai, Starlord (presumably 1980)

Okay, let’s get Starlord out of the way first. I’ve found a listing of Med Systems’ early adventures in the September 1980 edition of “Kilobaud”, including the three mentioned titles as well as Reality Ends, but as I’ve found no further information about that game – as opposed to Bureaucracy and Samurai both of which show up in the 1981 Med Systems catalog available online. Before I found the Kilobaud article I thought that the name may well be a mix-up with Peter Hildebrandt’s Star Trap, published by Med Systems in 1981. I’ve found Star Trap but if anyone was able to elaborate on the existence of Starlord, I’d be more than happy to listen!

I really want to play these!!

Bureaucracy and Samurai are two more tough nuts to crack. Both were apparently released for the TRS-80 (models I and III) as well as the Apple II/e. Other than the 1981 Med Systems catalog (and the ad pictured above), there appears to be no trace of them online. Sure, research is hindered by the 1987 Infocom adventure of the same name (Bureaucracy) and the word samurai also pops up in some other game titles but it’s astonishing how little impact these two games seem to have had. So if anyone can enlighten me about these two games (or even find a copy) I will be very happy about it. I’d just love to present the whole history of Med Systems adventure games and these gaps are not exactly improving my sleep.

Sounds very neat, doesn’t it?

The same goes for Med Systems staff – if somebody knows somebody who’d be willing to talk (Frank Corr maybe?), I’d be more than happy to be able to conduct an interview. I’m well aware that all of these inquiries are very niche but you never know, right?

Marathon Recap: Games I’ve Played So Far – Rat’s Revenge, Deathmaze 5000, Labyrinth, Reality Ends

More speculation ahead! It’s very difficult to reconstruct the timeframe of the Med Systems catalog but Rat’s Revenge seems to have predated Deathmaze 5000 which appears to have predated Labyrinth. Reality Ends may have been an earlier game than at least Deathmaze 5000 and Labyrinth. Deathmaze 5000 and Labyrinth make up the first half of Med Systems’ “Continuum Series”, the other two games being Asylum and Asylum II. Continuum games are 3-D maze adventure games. According to vol. 7 no. 1 of “Creative Computer Magazine” (January 1981) they were all written in machine language, making them exceptionally fast. With every game, the programmers added more adventure game elements, with Labyrinth boasting more puzzles than Deathmaze 5000 and the Asylum games having much more of a plot. William F. Denman jr. was involved in three of the five games (starting with Labyrinth), and he even did the second Asylum game on his own. The engine may well be Frank Corr jr.’s, though, as he (presumably) programmed Rat’s Revenge before the two of them collaborated on Deathmaze 5000, Labyrinth and Asylum.

Denman was the lead programmer on some other games, too. I presume – although without a manual, that’s difficult to say – that he was also behind Reality Ends. The terse writing style is certainly similar and the game also calls the player a dolt if she doesn’t handle the interface properly – like Deathmaze 5000 and Labyrinth do. This may also mean that Reality Ends could have been written by Frank Corr, jr., but Denman appears to have been behind a substantial chunk of the games released in 1980.

There is also a little mystery surrounding a game called Deathmaze 2000. Is this a port or a predecessor? I’ll say a little more about this one below.

Finally, all three games I’ve played through for this blog use literature as a pretext. Deathmaze 5000 relies on the player’s intimate knowledge of Beowulf (and either the bible or the Byrds) whereas Labyrinth lifts its monster from the legend surrounding the labyrinth of Knossos (the minotaur). The minotaur also appears in Reality Ends and the city of Knossos reappears in a Med Systems adventure called The City of Knossos. The hints at ancient literature appear to be another bit of corporate identity along with the aforementioned focus on mental illness. Reality Ends, and I have to thank two anonymous commenters for this as I wasn’t aware of the fact at all, seems to base its whole storyworld on the Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny. Quite a different role model compared to Beowulf or Plutarch but hey, whatever floats your code (sorry).

You can read the first three playthroughs here: Rat’s Revenge [part of the Deathmaze 5000 posts: [P1] Deathmaze 5000: [P1] [P2] [P3] [P4] Labyrinth: [P1] [P2] [P3] Reality Ends: [P1] [P2]

Skipped Game 1 – The Playful Professor (1980)

The Playful Professor is an educational game written and designed by William F. Denman, jr. It was released in 1980 for the TRS-80 (models I and III) and described by the company as “a mathematics learning aid that provides tutoring in integer mathematics, as well as fractions, for the four basic operations. Demonstrated solutions are completed step by step in a black board format easily understood by grade school children. Problems are presented in a game format that places the pupil in a sixty room mansion. To win, the player must catch the ghost with the key, then get to the front door before the ghost (or other player) recaptures the key. Movement is based on problem solving. Doors open and close randomly. The player’s turn is skipped if he gets temporarily sealed in a room.”

Unfortunately, although there have been countless magazine ads for The Playful Professor, the game does not seem to have survived online. At least, I couldn’t come up with a working version, so if you should come across one, I’d be more than happy to play it. When Screenplay took over Med Systems around 1983 or 1984 (a story for another time), they re-released the game in a revamped version for the Atari 8-bit family and the Commodore 64 as Playful Professor: Math Tutor in 1984. Steven Baumrucker ported William Denman’s game, and it seems like Mr. Denman commented on it personally when “Highretrogamelord” posted a sample on YouTube.

This means I will play the game once we get to 1984 in our marathon – the original version by William Denman, sadly, is not available right now.

Skipped Game 2 – The Human Adventure (1980)

The Human Adventure is another educational game by William Denman, apparently aimed at medical students, potentially hinting at the original direction his company was meant to take. In a way, The Human Adventure is even an adventure game, albeit an unusual one. It was released for the TRS-80 as well as the Apple II.

And So It Begins

The story goes that you are a miniaturized scientist inside a vessel injected into a person’s bloodstream. Inside, you use a simple text parser to move through the body in six different directions: front, back, right, left, head, feet. In an original review by Russ Williams of The Space Gamer (vol. 47, January 1982), the reviewer stated that he “learned more about human anatomy from this game than [he] did in [his] biology class!” Indeed, many of the descriptions are rather cryptic to the non-medical eye.

My Excel Map, Upper Part

The story appears to have been inspired by the 1966 Richard Fleischer film Fantastic Voyage which has a very similar plot premise. According to the manual, “[o]nly movement in the direction of the blood flow is legal. Access to all major organs is possible by making the correct decisions.” In general, there are three available game modes: exploration mode (ideal for mapping), game mode, and attention mode (whatever that may be). In the game mode, the patient has cancer, and there are two afflicted sites (initially). The hull of the player’s craft collects antibodies while moving around. After a while, she can attempt to heal the afflicted sites by destroying the disease with lasers.

Good job, Bones! Scotty – I think we’re done here.

The playing experience is enhanced greatly by mapping the gameworld from the outset; as the game mode is rather complicated and involves avoiding white cell attacks and “[p]eriodic electrification of the hull to burn off these proteins”, it’s a good way of getting a feel for the lay of the land.

In the beginning, you can choose between travelling through either a male or a female body. Both bodies look exactly the same except for their size and their nether regions, and you start out in a different location each time. You are addressed as if you were in a text adventure: “YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT CORONARY ARTERY. ACCESSIBLE OPENINGS: FEET. COMMAND?” Below is a picture of the human body with a small dot in the middle. The small dot is you.

The process of mapping The Human Adventure took longer than expected because the gameworld consists of a whopping 158 locations most of which are twisty little arteries/veins that look (almost) exactly alike. Most of these bloodstreams take you to all of the important organs and sites of the body – due to its educational realism, you travel through the lungs and the atrium over and over again, and short-cuts or even simple branches are few and far between. I have to say, though, that although mapping is a bit of a chore I did learn a lot of things about the human anatomy. It’s also a nice way to get acquainted with the gameworld before trying out a challenge.

Give me a break here, I’m one of the good guys!

When I start the actual game, I can choose between three levels of difficulty. The EASY mode is pretty difficult as it is. The game mode also introduces some more mechanics: typing REPORT shows me a turn counter as well as the location of the two initial sites of infection, e.g. LIVER, PANCREAS. Typing ELE(CTRIFY) electrifies the hull of my ship which is necessary every few turns to not bump into hostile white blood cells over and over again. If I do get attacked by white blood cells or happen to reach an infected site, I can LAS(ER) them to get rid of them. There’s a 100% chance of me eliminating them but both make me lose my energy more quickly. In the beginning, my energy is up to 100% but I lose a little energy (one to two percent) with every move. To REC(HARGE), I have to travel all the way to the brain. INT(ERFERON) makes me use an “interferon charge” but I can’t figure out what that does as the answer is always “Ok…nothing happens”.

He’s dead, Jim.

After some failed attempts, I get the hang of The Human Adventure. Two strategies are required to win: First, you have to electrify the hull every five turns or so to avoid getting swamped by white blood cells. Second, you need to move up to the brain after having vaporized one of the two infections in order to recharge your energy. It’s all a lot of fun, and the other two levels of difficulty (moderate and hard) are pleasantly challenging. I also find out what the interferon charges are for: If you choose one of the two harder modes, the patient has cancer. This makes the disease spread pretty quickly and you’ll have to visit at least three infected sites to succeed. Lasers don’t vaporize the cancer – but interferon charges destroy it.

It’s all in a day’s work at St. Eligius

Although The Human Adventure is 95% mapping and 5% playing, it’s a pretty enjoyable game.

Skipped Game 3 – Money Master (1980)

Money Master is apparently another maze game “designed to tutor the young child in the use of money.” This one appears to be lost, too, so I can’t really tell whether it’s more of an application or more of a game. The game apparently has the player move through a maze where she encounters different objects and creatures. Whenever this happens, she has to perform a transaction – collect tolls, give the right amount of change etc. The mazes are randomly generated and there are two dozen creatures and objects to be found within.

Skipped Game 4 – Ghost’s Gallery (1980)

Ghost’s Gallery is a variation of The Playful Professor without the math. According to the Med Systems catalog, it boasts enhanced graphics and features compared to its predecessor of the same year. The goal is to capture the ghost with the key and get to the front door quickly in order to escape the haunted mansion. It offers a single-player mode as well as a two-player mode. At first I thought it was heavily influenced by that other famous maze game with ghosts, but Pac-Man was released in North America in October 1980 while The Playful Professor was probably released around February and Ghost’s Gallery came out in May 1980 at the latest.

Ghost’s Gallery is a pretty fast and very simple game. The ghost holding the key is marked with a K, and you have a fixed number of moves before the layout of the maze changes unpredictably. If you find a good position to wait, you can press D to end your move. The moment you manage to touch the ghost with the key, you sort of become the ghost (marked with the K). Now your job is to get to the exit at the bottom of the screen as quickly as possible, because the hunter has become the hunted. It’s all over very fast. There’s another option: By pressing S you can search for a secret passage which sometimes gets you out of a jam.

I ain’t afraid of no ghost.

I can imagine the two-player mode to be quite good, as it’s not really that much fun to steal from the computer-controlled ghost and then run from it, still it may be very nice to chase after one another in front of the same screen. I can also imagine The Playful Professor adding some challenge by letting the (young) player solve some math problems in between. A game of Ghost’s Gallery is over pretty quickly, and although it’s certainly a major programming feat in 1980 to create such a relatively smooth, fast and approachable game for the TRS-80, its single-player mode did not entertain me for too long.

1980s Kids <3 Ghost’s Gallery

I never actually lost, so I don’t even know what the fail state is. The won message suggests that it’s possible to fail but I didn’t find out how which goes to show just how easy the game is.

It’s pretty neat that you can name your character!

Skipped Application 1 – Athletic Index (1980)

The first Med Systems product I was able to find a magazine ad for is an application called Athletic Index. Although the program can not be found online, it appears to be an encyclopedia containing facts about the Olympic Games. Apparently, the Athletic Index was already discontinued in 1981 as it’s not featured in the spring 1981 catalog anymore.

Skipped Application 2 – The Basic Bartender (1980)

The Basic Bartender was written by William Denman and appears to be another kind of encyclopedia. Med Systems advertised it as a “very specialized data mini-system” containing information on 102 mixed beverages. It’s possible to edit this database “as memory conditions allow”. The user can either search for a recipe, browse by categories or take a look at the complete list of available drinks. The mixing instructions are detailed and sometimes contain information about the recommended glass and garnish recommendations. I assume that it’s called The Basic Bartender because it was written in BASIC but of course I cannot prove that as this one’s also lost.

Skipped Gimmick – Adam’s Apple (1980)

In their spring 1981 catalog, Med Systems also had a 48 piece 3-D jigsaw puzzle resembling an apple on offer. If anything, it’s a good example how much they loved their wordplay: According to their description, “Adam’s Apple” was “seemingly designed just for Apple owners” and “a challenge to the core.”

Final Conundrum – Deathmaze 2000 (1980)

Deathmaze 2000 had me going in circles for some time as it appeared on the “Giant List of Classic Game Programmers” (Link: https://dadgum.com/giantlist/) which is sort of comprehensive if not really all-encompassing but nevertheless regularly updated and appears to be correct most of the time. In the 2019 version, the “game” is no longer listed but looking at the 2001 list turns up the title “Deathmaze 2000” written by William Denman for the Apple ][ which is probably just a harmless typo and nothing else.

Well, this is it for now. Med Systems sure is an obscure company these days but back in the day they were sort of a major player (by 1980 to 1983 standards) littering all the major TRS-80 magazines with a plethora of ads. Many dealers advertised that they had Med Systems games in stock, so there certainly must have been some demand, and especially the Continuum games have grown to be true cult classics in some retrogaming (or just nostalgic) circles.

I’d like to conclude my write-up with the company’s own words, namely a mission statement from the December 1980 issue of Kilobaud:

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/intermission-med-systems-marathon-1980-rundown/

[phatjosh180]

Quotes to Run To ...

I’m a quote guy. I love quotes. Ever since I was a teenager if I read or heard a quote I liked I would write it down. I have a number of quote journals — too many to count.

Quotes can be a motivating power, they can be a affirmation of your actions or a much needed spark of inspiration. They’ve been pivotal in my weight-loss, running and — life — journey. So my collection is quite varied for many different reasons.

I’ve had a few quote posts here on the bloggy blog before, but it’s been a while — and my collection has grown a bit. So I decided to share some of my favorites. These quotes are mostly relatable to running, but there are some that just good solid life quotes here as well that I just love.

And, even many of those quotes can be related to running.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the collection. I share many of these on the wasatch.run and The Runcast Instagram pages. So if you love quotes just as much as me, make sure to follow those two accounts.

So without any further adieu here are my favorite quotes. Let me know some of your favorite running quotes in the comments below …

Quotes to Run to …

“The obsession with running is really an obsession with the potential for more and more life.” — George Sheehan

“If you want to run, then run a mile. If you want to experience another life, run a marathon.” — Emil Zatopek

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” — Stephen Covey

“If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.” — John Bingham

“Everything you can imagine is real.”  — Pablo Picasso

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

“You are truly your own hero in running. It is up to you to have the responsibility and self-discipline to get the job done.” — Adam Goucher

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” — Theodore Roosevelt

“To win without risk is to triumph without glory.” — Pierre Cornielle

“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” — Viktor E. Frankl

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” — Jamie Paolinetti

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” — John Bingham

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers

“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” — Roy T. Bennett

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” — George Addair

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” — Marilyn vos Savant

“There is no illusion greater than fear.” — Lao Tzu

“Running is real and relatively simple — but it ain’t easy.” — Mark Will-Weber

“Dream big and dare to fail.” — Norman Vaughan

“As we run, we become.” — Amby Burfoot

“The reason we race isn’t so much to beat each other … but to be with each other.” — Christopher McDougall

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” — Jesse Owens

“Somewhere along the line we seem to have confused comfort with happiness.” — Dean Karnazes

“The long run puts the tiger in the cat.” — Bill Squires

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” — Seneca

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” — George Sheenan 

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.” — Amelia Earhart

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Make friends with pain, and you will never be alone.” — Ken Chlouber

“The difference in winning & losing is most often, not quitting.” — Walt Disney

“Running is my private time, my therapy, my religion.” — Gail W. Kislevitz

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

“Bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible.” — William Shakespeare

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.” — John Burroughs

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” — Leonardo da Vinci

“If you can dream it, you can achieve it.” — Zig Ziglar

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Confucius

“Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.” — Lowell Thomas

“I’ve learned that it’s what you do with the miles, rather than how many you’ve run” — Rod DeHaven

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas Edison

“Tears streamed down my face as I crossed the finish line. I was a new person, a runner” — Thomas King

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” — Helen Keller

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No Matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” — Samuel Beckett

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” — Beverly Sills

“Man imposes his own limitations, don’t set any” — Anthony Bailey

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” — Ayn Rand

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” — William Shakespeare

“There’s something so universal about that sensation, the way running unites our two most primal impulses: fear and pleasure.” — Christopher McDougall

“Good things come slow, especially in distance running.” — Bill Dellinger

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” — Jack Canfield

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” — Theodore Roosevelt

“If you are losing faith in human nature, go out and watch a marathon” — Kathrine Switzer

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill

I had as many doubts as anyone else. Standing on the starting line, we’re all cowards. — Alberto Salazar

“The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.” — Juma Ikangaa

“When you cross the finish line, no matter how slow or fast, it will change your life forever” — Dick Beardsley

“Only those who risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Elliot

“Listen to your body. Do not be a blind and deaf tenant.” — George Sheehan

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” — C.S. Lewis

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” — Walt Disney

“Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.” — Dean Karnazes

“All it takes is all you got.” — Marc Davis

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” — Dalai Lama

“I often hear someone say I’m not a real runner. We are all runners, some just run faster than others. I never met a fake runner.” — Bart Yasso

“The greatest pleasure in life, is doing the things people say we cannot do.” — Walter Bagehot

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”  — George Eliot

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.” — William Shakespeare

“My feeling is that any day I am too busy to run is a day that I am too busy.” — John Bryant

“Don’t fight the trail, take what it gives you. If you have a choice between one step or two between rocks, take three.” — Christopher McDougall

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” — Arthur Ashe

“‘No pain, no gain’ does not mean that pain systematically equals gain. It’s easy to go hard. It’s hard to go smart.” — Erwan Le Corre

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” — Henry Ford

“The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself — the invisible battles inside all of us — that’s where it’s at.” — Jesse Owens

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” — Robert Frost

“The true but rare runner’s high is a zone that we enter when everything seems to click prefectly, when time stands still, and when we can run almost without effort” — Amby Burfoot

“You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” — Christopher Columbus

“You don’t have to be fast. But you’d better be fearless.” — Christopher McDougall

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You are truly your own hero in running. It is up to you to have the responsibility and self-discipline to get the job done.” — Adam Goucher

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” — Bill Cosby

“Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” — Theodore Roosevelt

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” — Marcus Aurelius

“To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around.” — Richie Norton

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” — Robert Collier

“Either you run the day, or the day runs you.” Jim Rohn

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” — Walt Disney

“The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect.” — George Sheenan 

“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” — Vincent van Gogh

“Clear your mind of can’t.” — Samuel Johnson

“We have killed our souls with comfort instead of seeking fulfillment and achievement.” — Dean Karnazes

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” — Les Brown

“Run hard when it’s hard to run” — Pavvo

A post shared by The Runcast (@theruncast) on Jan 10, 2018 at 5:34am PST

Quotes to Run To … was originally published on PhatJosh | My Life Running.

[junker-town]

Conor McGregor's 'movement' training is just another part of the circus

The fighter’s bizarre training might not be a joke — but it won't matter

Every Rocky has his side of beef. Athletes always let you know they train, and sometimes that they do things that are not just hard, but a different kind of hard, a kind of hard that makes them different not just in the ring, but globally different. Training for the relentlessly competitive athlete can’t just be intense—it has to have, in the end, something exotic, something no one else has, some rare sorcery that differentiates them from the rest of their competition.

For instance, Novak Djokovic would happily remind the public of his commitment to a gluten-free diet, and how climbing into pressure chambers increased his aerobic capacity, and how an intense stretching and recovery regimen turned him into a tennis cyborg incapable of human error. Walter Payton discarded conventional wisdom and refused to run anything farther than 50 or 100 yards because “that’s as far as I’m ever gonna need to run.” Tom Brady’s entire bizarre/novel/possibly quack routine, right down to the infrared pajamas and endless avocados, has become its own “Goop for Bros” lifestyle brand.

James Harrison. That’s the whole routine, just: “James Harrison.”

This might go double for combat athletes. Part of that is a matter of scarcity: The amount of time an MMA fighter or boxer actually works in the public ring is a tiny sliver of time relative to the rest of their schedule. Training, by necessity, becomes a part of the story, whether it’s by opening workouts to the press or doing exclusive features on how they prepare for fights. Sometimes those get turned into Men’s Fitness articles, and that explains why that guy at the gym once sparred alone in the corner for two weeks wearing a full sweatsuit in August before he gave up and just went back to what everyone else is doing.

A fighter’s training has its own value from a news perspective; a fighter’s ability to make news will increase their visibility; a fighter’s visibility translates directly into PPV money, endorsements, and future earnings. Being good in the ring is one thing; being good and different is another, more profitable thing altogether.

Related: here’s Conor McGregor, who will step into a ring with the best professional boxer of his generation on August 26th, punching cards out of the air.

It might have been five or six years ago when the word “movement” started creeping into everyone’s vocabulary as a capital-T Thing. Part of that comes from the work of Erwan Le Corre, a French parkourist and founder of MovNat, a fitness program focusing on natural movement featured in books like Natural Born Heroes and in videos of Le Corre himself—long haired, shirtless, and running barefoot through the wilderness like some ripped version of Adam—on MovNat’s Youtube channel. (Yes: there’s voiceovers and a tribal drum soundtrack involved.) Le Corre advertises MovNat as “the workout that time forgot”, and based on his Twitter feed also has some very, very strong opinions about socialism.

The other figure behind the creep of “movement” into the fitness vernacular is Ido Portal. He is the man throwing cards at Conor McGregor in that video. He is also the man slowly swinging at McGregor with a stick, or kicking over a ducking McGregor, or pulling capoeira flips while McGregor and a sparring partner tap hands and feet in something between light-sparring and pattycake in a public park.

Like all movement coaches seem to do, Portal wears a ponytail and hates shirts and says things in a provocative, visionary way, like he’s speaking in Papyrus font. Samples include:

“People are not made of sugar. Also, one does not scare a hooker with a cock”

“One should meditate on one’s death daily”

“Space and time. That's the name of any game you will ever play.”

“I have a carb up meal once/twice a week based on tubers and rice. I will have some dark 85% chocolate and will avoid dairy and gluten fully. The next day I wake up even more ripped.”*

*I just included that last one because I like grown men on the internet arguing about how they wake up even more ripped than they previously were the night before, but I LOVE a personal fitness guru doing it to complete strangers even more .

Ido Portal and Erwan Le Corre and other proponents of Movement argue a lot of similar things. In Le Corre’s case, he refers to current, modern-living people as “zoo humans” who have forgotten the “natural” way to move through their environment. Portal echoes a lot of that, bemoaning specialization in fitness and the abandonment of the environment humans evolved to work in and move through.

“We never touch the floor” is a Portal saying that fits here, both because it a) represents the kind of assumption of a natural state of being at the heart of the movement-movement and b.) because it’s the kind of visionary, sweeping thing Portal, as a longhaired, capoeira-kicking visionary fitness guru, is supposed to say.

It’s an approach that assumes there is a natural way for the body to function in space, and that humanity has long abandoned that ancient wisdom for machines, treadmills, and hours and hours of sedentary living.

Here’s Conor McGregor getting hit with some kind of foam baton by Portal in his training for his upcoming boxing match with Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

It all looks weird, and barely connected to the central thing McGregor will have to do in less than two weeks, i.e. walk into a ring with Floyd Mayweather Jr., professional boxer and generational talent, and not get knocked out or seriously injured.

That is not an exaggeration. Conor McGregor, a gifted athlete and MMA champion, has to face Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a boxing match. Mayweather was born into a family of boxers, his father and his uncles were boxers, and he has been boxing since he was a child. Mayweather is widely regarded as the best fighter of his generation. He has a 49-0 record as a professional fighter, is nearly impossible for skilled boxers to hit flush with any punch, and even at 40 is in superb shape with a boxing IQ unequalled in depth or in pedigree. Mayweather is not just good—he is circumstantially as good as a boxer could be by design.

It’s best to not even think of this as a fight. That leaves only one conclusion, and that would be that the entire thing is a fraud, one built on the idea that anyone might watch a fight—but everyone on the planet will turn out to watch a guaranteed train crash.

That’s probably also the case here for Mayweather. Everyone I spoke with—trainers, reporters, coaches from MMA and boxing—everyone agrees that Mayweather could walk into the ring and pretty much do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Most think Mayweather will tire McGregor out for show, then finish him off sometime after the sixth or eighth round—around the time when an MMA fighter’s established conditioning for an MMA-length fight would wear off and start failing. That’s the expected outcome by any sane, even charitable observer here: A respectable showing for McGregor, and a display of breezy supremacy by Mayweather, a fighter so comfortable in the ring he likely will spend a round or two simply observing McGregor without much attempt to attack him. (Which is insane, unless you’ve seen Mayweather do it, repeatedly, with different fighters.)

That’s what should happen, because this is a spectacle, not a fight, with an MMA savant entering the ring with a master-level boxing talent in a mismatch of training, expertise, experience, and sport-specific talent.

Here is Conor McGregor batting at tennis balls thrown by Ido Portal.

Hand-eye co-ordination work with @portal.ido today. Great work Great shot @serpiconinja.

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on Jun 20, 2017 at 12:56pm PDT

It would also be advisable to be just the right amount of skeptical about Movement training. Nate Diaz was. Before his fight with Conor McGregor in March of 2016, Diaz called movement training “playing touchbutt with that dork in the park”, referring to Portal, whom he called “the guy with the ponytail.” Diaz—covered in his own blood and waving McGregor forward after getting punched— then submitted McGregor by rear naked choke in the second round.

There are also reasons not to be skeptical. Most of the people I talked to about McGregor’s “touchbutt” work with Ido Portal were...positive? They were shockingly positive about it, and for a lot of reasons. McGregor—an unconventional fighter in a lot of ways in the MMA sphere—really does seem to benefit from whatever he was doing with Portal. The most striking thing about McGregor in the ring is his way of moving, his flexibility, his tendency to shift and flow to find angles other fighters can’t match or see coming.

Movement training, as silly as it looks, undeniably helps McGregor hone that snaky, flexible, and in Portal’s words, “chaotic” flow. But mystical Aztec warrior flowing motion myths aside, there is also another very practical reason for McGregor to work in movement training: It tapers down the stress and strain of training as McGregor gets closer to the fight.

"It probably helped Conor most when he was fighting at 145, and needed to make weight. He could train without putting a lot of stress on his body--especially towards the end of his camp."

That’s MMA Fighting’s Luke Thomas when I asked him exactly how all that noodling, jumping, crawling, and extremely meme-able movement training worked for McGregor. The timing works. In training camp, Portal comes in later for his work, not at the start. In the postfight press conference after his lighting knockout of Jose Aldo, McGregor described movement training as what he did immediately before the fight to stay loose, tuned into his body, and injury-free.

Maybe most importantly, the advantage McGregor has in using movement training in MMA fights is a psychological one—both for his own psyche, and to use against his opponent. Fighters all train, but not all of them have a good handle on tuning their psychological wiring to the exact right frequency before a fight. Some rely on superstition, some rely on habit and routine, but all of them—at least those who aren’t complete head cases in the ring—have something they lean on in order to tolerate the absurd pressure of what is an inherently absurd situation.

And that, more than anything, is what trainers seem to think the value of movement training is for McGregor. Phil Daru, strength coach for American Top Team and a former MMA fighter himself, thinks as much.

“Definitely, I think it helps. So much of what a fighter does is mental. What he does with Ido, that might help him stay fresh before a fight, sure, but the real advantage would be psychological. If that works for a fighter, then he’s got to take that edge.”

Tony Ricci, strength and conditioning coach for MMA fighters like Chris Weidman and boxers like Chris Algieri, agreed when I asked him if movement training’s effect on McGregor was real or imagined.

“I think it’s both. The old saying is: the placebo effect is an effect. If Conor believes there’s a positive element to it, then there is.”

None of this is new, mind you. The concepts of movement training are embedded in a lot of what fighters from many disciplines have worked into their training for centuries. They’re not even particularly new to MMA. Georges St. Pierre went at least halfway down this road when he changed his non-sparring training to a regimen of gymnastic work and Olympic lifting; Alvaro Romano’s “ginastica natural” routines, espoused by MMA royalty like Rickson Gracie, predates movement theory by three decades. The packaging may be new, but the contents are old, reliable, and pop up again and again.

They’re about to walk into a brightly lit space in their underwear to try and beat the hell out of another person in front of a crowd. If it doesn’t hurt them, they can take whatever they need—especially if that fighter is Conor McGregor, walking into a matchup so theoretically lopsided it transcends even the normal levels of boxing absurdity.

Dangerous noodle is what we shall call this technique http://pic.twitter.com/wCsrzwLeTe

— Andreas Hale (@AndreasHale) August 11, 2017

[filosofablogger]

I am on hiatus until tomorrow, but did not want to disappoint all of you who depend on my Jolly Monday posts to get your week off to a start with a smile.  So, I am reposting this from last June … it is one of the better ones, I think.  I hope it brings a glimmer of a smile to your face and that you share that smile with others.  Hugs and love to you all!

Note to readers:  As you all know by now, my hiatus did not pan out, but I am leaving this re-post for two reasons:  1) it was a pretty good one, and 2) I am lazy today.  I promise fresh jolly material next Monday, however!

Grounded

It was the moment that every parent dreads, hopes never to have happen.  That moment when you find unidentified pills in your teenager’s room.  What do you do?  Do you confront him/her?  How do you handle the situation?  Honest conversation or punishment?  Well, 16-year-old Ashley Banks forgot her calculator on the day she was scheduled to take the SAT test, so she sent a text message to her mom asking her to get the calculator from her room and leave it in the mailbox so she could pick it up on her way. In the process, her mother found some strange pills and did what most of us would probably have done … she panicked and sent the following message back to Ashley:

“Ashley Carol I will not have drugs in my house. Come home right now. As soon as your dad comes home from California we will discuss your consequences.  As for now [you’re] grounded and you will not be leaving the house, come home this instant.” 

Imagine mom’s surprise when Ashley’s response was a couple of laughing emojis followed by “go put them in water.”  Mom put the ‘pills’ in water and …. Well, you can see the results for yourself in the picture.  Needless to say, mom had some egg on her face!

  It rather reminds me of the time my late mother-in-law found marijuana in her grandson’s dresser drawer!  She decided to destroy it, so she took it outside to a container she used to burn paper and set it afire.  Wanting to be certain it all burned up, she stood right over the container and after a few minutes of inhaling the smoke, she was higher than a kite!

Blind Cat Hikes Highest Peak in Ireland

Spooky, our oldest cat, died in March.  He was blind, and as such was sometimes quite a challenge to take care of.  He turned food and water dishes over more often than he actually ate or drank from them, had to be carried to the litter box, and in general required at least ten times as much time and effort as any of the others.  We did this without complaint (mostly), however, as he was quite old, we had him since he was just a few weeks old, and he had given us many years of love and joy.  But I cannot picture hiking up a mountain with him.  So you can imagine my surprise when I heard of Stevie, the blind cat who shares her home and life with her human companion, Patrick Corr, hiking!  Not just hiking, but hiking to the top of Carrauntoohil, Ireland’s highest peak (3,406 feet)!  Stevie mostly walks with a harness and leash, though she (yes, Stevie is a girl) is allowed briefly off the leash on occasion.  And Patrick carries her on his shoulder or in a carrier where the terrain is rocky.   You can check out the short (3+ mins) video here.  (video will open in separate tab)

“Her comfort was our number one priority,” says Corr.  “Stevie was only allowed to walk on the path leading to the base and during the climb itself, she was free to walk wherever there was a soft surface – any section of the mountainside that was too rocky, she was carried on my shoulder and via a cat carrier bag that we had specially for the trip.”  The pair also took “lots of breaks” and he made sure Stevie always had access to food and water. The climb up and down the peak took between five and six hours.  Great job Stevie!  Oh, and you too, Patrick!

Hope For Hope

Lakeland, Florida Police Officer Kareem Garibaldi had worked a 12-hour shift, was tired and just wanted to go home.  When he reached his car, however, he found Hope, a small stray puppy under the car.  Officer Garibaldi took Hope home, and after three days of caring for her and trying to find her owners, he decided to take her to the SPCA for a health check.  This picture was snapped of both Officer Garibaldi and Hope snoozing, while waiting to be seen by the vet.  This photo went viral on social media, though sadly some had negative responses, saying that the officer was merely trying to get attention for himself, but most of the 234 comments on Facebook were very positive.  The best part?  Hope now has a ‘forever home’ with Officer G!  Hats off to Officer Kareem Garibaldi for compassion and humanity!

  This Monday Morning Is Brought To You By … Eeyore! I am on hiatus until tomorrow, but did not want to disappoint all of you who depend on my Jolly Monday posts to get your week off to a start with a smile.  

[ciathyzareposts]

Missed Classic 59: Deathmaze 5000 (1980) – Introduction

Written by Will Moczarski

One of the creepiest gaming experiences of my childhood was called Asylum, a downright crazy text adventure with graphics scaring the hell out of me back then. As I never actually managed to complete the game it has kind of stuck with me over the years and hung over my head like an unfinished memory. To finally come to terms with it, I’ve decided to blog through the adventure games developed and published by Med Systems Software of which Asylum (confusingly aka Asylum II) is the last.

The rather unknown company was founded around the beginning of the 1980s and first released a series of simple maze adventure games called Rat’s Revenge, Deathmaze 5000 and Labyrinth for the TRS-80. They cannot be found anywhere on MobyGames and the early history of Med Systems is generally in the dark but sometimes retro gaming calls for a little bit of digital archaeology, right? The TRS-80 was a budget computer released by Tandy Radio Shack in 1977, along with the Apple II and the Commodore PET 2001 – the three of them are often referred to as the “first trinity” of homecomputers. Ironically dubbed the “Trash-80”, its place in gaming history was secured by a certain Scott Adams who managed to port his version of the original “Advent(ure)”, named Adventureland, to this very simple micro machine. Med Systems was yet another prolific developer of text adventures for the TRS-80, focussing on simplistic graphics with a 3D effect established by its particular perspective. Their early games look like a more technical, not so much hand-drawn variety of Roberta Williams’s Mystery House and I’d like to see some release dates to know who actually came first and whether we’ll have to rewrite history on this one. However, I’m not entirely sure that the first three games can be regarded true adventures just yet but time will tell if they are indeed “missed classics” or curiosities best forgotten. The Institute, written by Adventuresoft alumnus Jyym Pearson and released in 1981, and Asylum II, written by William F. Denman jr., I remember to be (somewhat) quality stuff, though, so a historical write-up may well be in order.

Rat’s Revenge, the first of the games, has left the fewest traces online. While its follow-ups appear to be remembered fondly (although they are scaringly labeled as practically unsolvable), I cannot turn up anything else about this apart from it having been written by Frank Corr jr. The game itself can be found on “Magic Chris’s Asylum page”, a labor of love dedicated to the Med Systems games complete with a preset TRS-80 emulator and all necessary disk images. While Rat’s Revenge may not actually be an adventure game in the truest meaning of the word, it’s an interesting starting point for two reasons: As “digital antiquarian” Jimmy Maher has pointed out, genre of maze games is one of the predecessors of proper interactive fiction, notably Hunt the Wumpus (1972) which works very similar to Rat’s Revenge, only without graphics. Additionally, Med Systems Software is credited as one of the earliest companies to release commercial games implementing proper 3D graphics which ties in nicely with mainstream gaming history as 1980 was also the year that Atari’s Battlezone hit the arcades, wowing everybody with 3D vector graphics, and one of the last games released by Med Systems for the ZX Spectrum – before they were bought out and subsequently closed down by Screenplay – was Phantom Slayer, one of the most notable predecessors of the first person shooter genre. It’s very interesting that the in-game manual of Rat’s Revenge explains the possible depictions of the rooms, not trusting the player to decipher the unusual perspective correctly but making sure that s/he gets what it ought to represent.

A 3D graphics tutorial! DOOM this is not.

Rat’s Revenge is more maze than adventure game but still, like Hunt the Wumpus for the whole genre, a precursor for things to come. The three subsequent games all use the same visual style and require the player to map the 3D mazes to progress in the story. Rat’s Revenge, however, has next to no story. You play a rat that has to escape the stereotypical labyrinth and your plot for “revenge” is to find a piece of cheese hidden somewhere in the maze to avert starvation. A dish best served cold, indeed. Although the title most likely hints at a 1965 song by the band The Rats, it doesn’t make much sense without this reference. The mazes are generated randomly and the player can decide whether s/he is a novice or not, resulting in different-sized levels. Success is telegraphed by a final graphic showing the piece of cheese along with the words “Delicious.. burp!” Afterwards the player is shown a bird’s eye view of the maze and the path s/he took to get through it. The score represents the deviation from the “main trail”, ie. the best possible outcome, thus the lower the score the better the result. It’s apparently possible to use a built-in hint system but I didn’t need to use it and have no clue as to how it works. The game is much more fun than taking the stairs in any early Sierra game but still very simplistic. A small maze takes roughly a minute to be set up, a large maze takes considerably longer – three to five minutes according to the game. “You may be sorry”, it warns you if you pick the large maze, and indeed it’s much harder not to starve in this one. As a novice, small numbers in the corner of the screen hint at your proximity to the piece of cheese. If you get closer in any mode you are informed that you “smell the cheese”. Mapping is essential in the large mazes as all of the twisty passages really do look alike and it’s fairly easy to get lost. It’s quite a relief to finally get to the cheese and though the game is a simple maze genre piece it’s still fun. To rate it with the PISSED system would be a bit absurd, though, as it’s not really an adventure game. It still felt necessary to include it for the sake of completeness, so onwards to Deathmaze 5000 it is!

WON! (burp)

Oh, the embarrassment!

Deathmaze 5000 was presumably the second Med Systems game and apparently co-written by Frank Corr and William Denman. It is the first part of the so-called “Continuum Series”, a succession of 3D adventures with simplistic graphics combining elements of maze games with adventure puzzles, a parser and an inventory. The goal of Deathmaze 5000 is to escape a five story building – you start on the top floor and slowly make your way down, past monsters and traps. Med Systems dubbed it “the most complex adventure ever written” and claimed that only two people had successfully solved it by December 20, 1980 – we may be in for a rocky ride here.

The survival aspect is further stressed by the need to find food and torches; once again, there is a built-in hint system and movement is very similar to Rat’s Revenge. Let’s see next time how far we’ll get on our first attempt – the race is on!

I think I already am…

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please…try not to spoil any part of the game for me…unless I really obviously need the help…or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I’ve not made any requests for assistance. Thanks! This is also an Introductory post. Don’t forget that you can make a guess at the PISSED rating for bonus CAPs. 

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/missed-classic-59-deathmaze-5000-1980-introduction/