#lowkey hoping season 5 addresses these two

[goldetrash]

Nightmares (LMK Comic/storyboard/fake screenshots?)

Content warning: Blood, character death, sad monkeys

[ambitionsource]

I found ambition when looking for Jack and Eric fanfic on ao3. I genuinely thought it was it's own show with characters who just happened to have the same name as my two bmw favs (I didn't watch gmw and for my own sake I probably never will because they do my babies; jack, eric and angela, so dirty, and I knew of certain things namely Lucas Maya Riley I didn't know enough for it to make me click). I had no clue what I was getting myself into but then I started reading. I'm so beyond glad I did, I've loved every second, every laugh and every tear. Ambition is the show I wished I had as a teen (instead I had glee... and Riverdale... that says enough...) but I'm glad I found it when I needed it, as I face the same challenges the gang has been facing in season 4 as they move on from triple a and onto life in the real world. I like to believe the stories we need find their way to us, the characters we need to meet come to us, thank you for bringing all the characters but especially Jack, Charlie, Nigel, Asher and Jade to life, joining them on their journeys throughout the show and seeing parts of myself - good and bad - reflected back on me has helped me in ways I'll never be able to put to words so I'll simply say thank you. That's the power of good writing, it leaves the reader changed, the writing in ambition is incredible. I've been invested at every step, hooked by every twist. Ambition feels so real, so poignant, the characters feel like real people, it is so true to life in all it's complexities and in all it's ugliness and beauty. It's raw and it's human and it's about community and hope and it's about flawed people who make mistakes but are still worthy and deserving of love and who are trying to do not only do their best but do good and it's the story I desperately needed. I just wanted to write a wee note to send some appreciation to you all for your incredible work and everything you do to bring us this brilliant piece of work.

If the multiverse is real there's a universe where I follow Dylan Orlando on yt and TikTok and debate and jokingly bicker with Nigel about Shakespeare and am mostly likely a techie, I'm kinda sad that I'm not in it lmao but I'm glad and so grateful in one where I found your story. Looking forward to the rest of season 4 and in time season 5, it's going to break my heart to say goodbye but that's how you know that it mattered, if it hurts to let it go.

{backpedaling to bmw for a sec, BLESS YOU FOR WRITING THE WRONGS. I loved the Shawn Angela storyline in season 1 and honestly it healed a part of me that bmw/gmw broke. Without a doubt ambition did it better. I love when they pop in and they have some of my favorite lines. Shawn absolutely kills me, to paraphrase ; "oh yeah I could be jack, authority baby" destroys me every single time. I adore his dynamic with the techies too and Jack. Speaking of Jack, I am on my knees praising y'all for Jack and Eric, so rarely are older couples in teen/ya shows given such depth and it's even rarer to see a queer relationship between two men in their 30s/40s. Their relationship isn't perfect, it's flawed and complicated and there is so much love, their journey so far has been beautiful. It's rare for older characters especially teachers and parents to be treated as three dimensional and as complex individuals, they're typically just the joke or unreasonable antagonist, not in ambition. They are just as complicated and as real as our mains and I love that}.

omg hi! hello!! welcome welcome to the ambition family! full disclosure when i got the notification in my email that i had an anon on this blog i always lowkey dread it's going to be something harsh -- because internet -- but this message was the absolute opposite and the most lovely of surprises. i don't even know where to begin, but you wrote such a thoughtful and packed note here so i wanna address it all in turn -- please bear with me for the long response!

(though if you've read all of ambition up to this point, you're probably used to my writing being way too long. ahaha.)

first off, i wanted to highlight, underline, emphasize in bold what you said here: "I like to believe the stories we need find their way to us, the characters we need to meet come to us..." because you quite literally put our mentality about creating the show into words (beautiful words at that). that is near word-for-word the approach esther and i have taken with this show basically since its inception when we started writing it for ourselves -- we never ever expected it would reach as many people as it has. and we think of it that exact same way, that those who are meant to discover ambition will find their way to it (and its never too late to dive in). so it's so special to me to see you say that, to reflect that sentiment back to us, as like... proof that it is true. this series has brought a specially strange and wonderful cohort of readers together and it is always amazing when another one pops in to make themselves known. so thank you, thank you, for taking the time out of your day to share that with us. and again, welcome!

secondly -- HELL YES TO FINDING YOUR WAY HERE BECAUSE OF JACK AND ERIC! as someone who admittedly has grown less than fond of bmw in the intervening years (does our version of ct show that a bit... oops lol), jack and eric as a duo are still who holds my heart because they were that iconic in the source material of yore. i typically just tag them because they are so central to ambition (though as you probably noticed, i don't tag bmw as a fandom -- at this point i wouldn't tag either show honestly since its so like it's own thing but i have to unfortunately lmao), but i had considered not doing so because i didn't want to clog up the jeric tag but now i'm so glad i do, because look what a lovely little happenstance of bringing you to ambition it fostered!!

(also, you're correct. don't watch gmw. i enjoyed my time with it back in the day, it's cute, but there are better shows and the fandom was absolutely horrible. basically everyone who was there will attest to that LOL. that's partially why we emphasize that at this point ambition really is its own thing, because it's so far removed -- and clearly you can vouch for that now 😊)

and thank you for your kind words about how we write jack and eric -- we 100% agree that adult characters on young adult dramas tend to be useless at best and downright vile at worst (hellooo mr schue, speaking of glee), and we wanted them to be fleshed out and flawed and featured just as much in their own right. plus not only do they have a great relationship with each other that we enjoy writing (enemies to friends to lovers done right, if we do say so ourselves), they have such incredibly important dynamics with others (lucas and isa being the obvious ones) that it's impossible to think of the show without them. so it is SO great to hear such specific praise for them from a reader! and i love that you shouted out a shawn line, he is an underrated gem in the ambition story world for sure (and allowing him and angela their due was very satisfying for us, yes, hahaha).

lastly, can i ask, are you a writer too? because the way you phrased this is absolutely gorgeous and i want to just. hang it up on my wall and hold it close to my heart forever: "joining them on their journeys throughout the show and seeing parts of myself - good and bad - reflected back on me has helped me in ways I'll never be able to put to words so I'll simply say thank you. That's the power of good writing, it leaves the reader changed, the writing in ambition is incredible. I've been invested at every step, hooked by every twist. Ambition feels so real, so poignant, the characters feel like real people, it is so true to life in all it's complexities and in all it's ugliness and beauty. It's raw and it's human and it's about community and hope and it's about flawed people who make mistakes but are still worthy and deserving of love and who are trying to do not only do their best but do good and it's the story I desperately needed."

like legit, that means so so much to us. it's so heartening to see readers engage with the material so deeply AND come away from it with exactly the themes we set out to explore -- community, love, complexity, humanity, faith, failure, rebirth. so thank you, genuinely, for taking the time to send us this wee little note. it is incredibly kind of you, and we're so glad you found this series and get to take the journey with us.

enjoy the rest of the season to come, and please feel free to pop in at any time ✨

-- Maggie

[laufire]

gonna take advantage of you having anon on for the time being to ask you, inspired to your response about damon. i know lizzie is your favorite of the twins and of the twins and hope, what would you want changed in order to like josie more (by which i don't mean more so than lizzie, but rather more so than as she has been written)? and then as a second point, if you want to also address it, what would you want changed in order to ship hosie, i realize there may be some overlap between those 1/2

two questions, but the first i'd really like to know, if you are willing to answer! (the second is more of an idle curiosity since if i was ranking hope femslash/non-canon ships, penelope and cleo would be my personal top two but hizzie and hosie are the big two that get all the fandom time and energy and i know your opinion on hizzie already.) thank you, i always like to hear your opinions! 2/2

To be clear, I like Josie plenty already LOL, if admittedly less than Lizzie and, sometimes, Hope; my favourites after Lizzie were never a fixed list. That might come with a rewatch. But even so, Josie didn't fall past the top 5, in a show with plenty of likeable characters.

So I'd say Josie's personality wasn't a hindrance the way Damon's is LMAO. She certainly has her flaws and I sometimes found fandom's attitude towards her irksome, but that wasn't a problem with Josie. If anything, those flaws made her MORE interesting for me than the fanon version could ever be, AND they added to the twins' messy dynamic, which was my main focus in the first place.

The way she was written vis a vis Hope was often my biggest pet peeve, because she was just so... proppy. She didn't stand equal in a Doylist level to Lizzie; it would've been obviously besides the point to expect her to stand equal to Hope, the protagonist, and I didn't necessarily want her to fare better than she actually did because Lizzie was my ultimate fave... but it obviously speaks to my reaction to the character. I, simply put, like tough propositions, and Josie ultimately wasn't one. If she'd been, my reaction would've been different from the beginning.

The reason I didn't go for Hosie (although I lowkey enjoyed some moments of it, especially in season 1) is in a sense tied to it, although not fully. Josie being weak for Hope wouldn't automatically make it impossible for me to ship it, even if Josie was my favourite (see: Steroline, for example), but the Hope-Landon-Josie triangle truly killed any affection I had for the ship. Josie was SO SO miserable, and it felt as if the majority of the fandom was in denial about it, including so-called Josie fans/Hosie shippers. It really soured it for me.

So, really, if you eliminated that triangle, it could've arguably stayed as a low-key rareship in my arsenal. if nothing more. Still: the triangle and its development was a symptom of Josie's position vis a vis Hope. It could've been replaced by a different one that STILL put me off the ship, who knows. On the other hand, triangles designed to put down one girl on the "objectivity" of male opinion ARE the bane of my existence...

ETA: I definitely still enjoyed Hosie as part of the girls' trio multifaceted dynamic, but that's another story lol, and more about the twins than about anything shippy.

[hawkinsgsa]

okay okay . alright some real thoughts under the cut:

general: 

- i DID really like a lot of vol2?? like it was such an immersive and intense watch and the last episode was a fucking roller coaster of tears, some of the thing they did like the gate splitting through hawkins and the ways they figured out how to have them all team up at the end just not physically was really creative?? they way they edited it together was just fucking SPECTACULAR too - does feel a little rushed when you think about it probably because of all that separation.... like the two days later are you kidding me what the fuck HAPPENED i have so many questions...... how did they get out of the upside down did they go through the big gate or back to eddie’s trailer, did they find his body, how did they REACT...  - honestly lowkey disappointed with the “deaths” they teased like... of course i don’t want a lot of them to die either but when you ONLY have the guts to kill off new characters it gets so... predictable, and the stakes feel less intense.... they need more courage to kill members of the main group for good or else the stakes are gonna feel nonexistent in s5  - so fucking glad they’re all back together now though, i really hope it stays that way for s5 i miss the party with all my heart

robin:

- MY BELOVEDDDD i don’t really have any problems with her in these episodes honestly i just love her so much DHDSSD - her and vickie have... potential, i like the potential a lot, however i’ll like it a lot more if they let vickie into the group in season 5, let her be an actual character and form a real connection/chemistry with robin, she deserves a real romance not just an afterthought for rep points ( love that she’s someone robin can find solace in relating to tho !!! ) - i’ll make a separate post to really talk about this but the only things i think i Really Need To Address that they didn’t is her reaction to eddie’s death and almost dying in the upside down

will:

- oooh boy . okay . Okay - will my absolute beloved you’ve done nothing wrong ever and i love you so much - slightly controversial take maybe but i?? really like his scene talking to mike in the van actually.... not a fan of when people use “it’s the 80′s” as an excuse for why they can’t be gay, but you really do have to remember that......... it’s the 80′s, if he’s going to talk about his feelings ( which i wanted to see ), he’s NOT in a place where he’s able to outright say it yet... he admitted he feels like a mistake, hell the only people i think he could manage really admitting it to right now are jonathan and joyce......... letting his emotions out under the guise of talking about el, holding onto the smallest sliver of a chance to say it even though it just makes him feel even more isolated... idk something about that just Gets Me - although, what i do NOT appreciate is him and his queerness only being used to further develop a het ship... this could and Should have been made up for with a longer talk with jonathan, one where will actually gets to sort through his feelings a little without constantly centering them around someone else ( i also think there should’ve been more conversations with him and mike like that, Not just surrounding el, plus i don’t think mike Noticed will trying to hide his crying... if he Did, he would’ve acted on his concern, i accept nothing else ) - OH I ALMOST FORGOT i don’t think the painting was el’s idea... why would she comment on him acting weirdly and not showing him what he’s painting in her letter if it was, i do think it’s something will would SAY to hide the fact that it was his idea but whether or not that’s true, that is the case for my portrayal, it was all him - will’s connection with vecna is... really interesting, i want to explore that more, and NOT just in a “sensing him” way, either.... will needs to be INVOLVED again, he’s directly connected to the upside down, i want him part of the confrontations or even especially targeted by vecna.. absolutely here to explore this in rp  - overall while i understand that he does not have to and probably Won’t outright “come out” and have a relationship, i do think he deserves better treatment by addressing BOTH the trauma he carries and his sexuality in some way, without just pushing him to the side or using him to serve other characters

[broadstbroskis]

no better company than you | nathan mackinnon

a/n: alright, i’m rolling in late for @antoineroussel oussel summer exchange (thank you love, for running such a lovely exchange again, it was wonderful and i’m glad i was able to particiapte) and i’m very sorry for the lateness! i had the pleasure of writing for the lovely @ghstandpucks​ 💜 again, i am SO sorry about the wait but i hope you enjoy this! 

word count: 3.2k

-----

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’m late!” You slide into the booth and throw your bag down next to you, hoping to god you don’t look as frazzled as you feel; this restaurant is far too nice.

Nate just smiles at your words, too familiar with your family by now to know that you’re always running 5-10 minutes behind. He’s ordered a bottle of wine- a nice rosé, fitting for the beautiful end of summer day- and had already started pouring a matching glass for you the second you started sitting down. “How’d the interview go?”

You bite your lip. “Eh.” 

“I’m sure it went better than you think.” Nate says encouragingly. “You’re too hard on yourself. All three of you are.”

And well, that’s not a lie. Your siblings were just as critical of themselves as you were. Sid was famously known for it and Taylor, your twin, was as bad as you. But…

“Listen to you!” You laugh at him. Nate’s just as bad as the three of you. A mini-Sid in many ways, to many people in your hometown.

But that was in Canada. This was Denver. And here, Nate was cool. Laid-back. Lowkey. Everything a professional athlete should be. Nobody knew about what a dork he really was, except his teammates.

And now, maybe you too, if all went well with this job interview.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nate says, looking at his menu to feign ignorance.

You giggle, pulling your own up toward your face. “Sure, buddy.”

It’s not often that you and Nate spend time one on one like this, even if you see him all the time over the summer. He’s usually with your brother when you see him, politely trying to decline your mom’s invites to dinner or already hanging at Sid’s house when you invite yourself over to your brother’s house for pool or lake time. Usually time one on one with Nate like this is brief, usually like in passing while he’s waiting for Sid in the kitchen while you’re eating.

It’s nice. Nate’s funnier than people give him credit for and it’s easy to relax into dinner and conversation, to forget about the anxiety from your interview as you chat about what’s new for both of you and gossip about people you both know.

By the time he drops you off at your hotel, it’s late and you’re too tired (and maybe just on the right side of tipsy) to even worry about the interview. You just barely change into pajamas, run through your nightly routine, and climb into bed, before shutting the lights off. It feels like you’re asleep before your head even hits the pillow. 

In the morning, you’re awoken by the sound of your phone ringing, and it takes a second for you to place the sound, but when you do you pounce on it, recognizing the local area code immediately. “Good morning.” You say, trying your hardest not to sound like you woke up literally thirty seconds ago.

It’s human resources, from the job you interviewed for yesterday.

You got it.

-----

“Ew, no!” Your dad holds his hands up innocently, when you rush over to stop him from unpacking a box. “Why would you put that there?”

“Hey, sweetie, maybe it’s time for a break.” Your mom says gently, exchanging a look with your dad, who nods his agreement enthusiastically.

Which is fair. You’d just about almost taken his fingers off just because you didn’t like where he was unpacking colanders. 

“Dinner!’” Your dad latches onto immediately. “Nate offered to take us all out tonight, I’ll let him know we’re ready.”

“Ready?” You frown, looking down at your workout shorts and baggy t-shirt.

“We’ll be ready in an hour.” He amends, already texting Nate.

Nate knocks on the door to the new condo you’re renting an hour and fifteen minutes later, sheepishly grinning when your dad tells him that you and your mom still need a few minutes. “Thought I had my timing perfect.”

Your dad snorts. “Oh buddy. Keep dreaming.”

He’s not too off on his timing, but unfortunately for Nate, you don’t have too much else going for you in your condo yet. Your dad had gotten your TV all set up, but in addition to the TV and living room furniture, you haven’t gotten much else, and that includes food and beverages. So the two of them sit in mostly silence while they wait another few minutes for you and your mom to finish getting ready. 

“I told you that you should have just met us there.” You tell Nate, as he trips on a box on his way out the door.

“Oh, so this wasn’t deliberate sabotage?” He deadpans.

“You caught me. Just trying to keep you around the city full time until I have time to make better friends.”

Nate laughs, as the two of you follow your parents out the door. “Be nicer to me or I won’t introduce you to my friends.”

“Who said I want to be friends with your friends?”

“Children.” Your mom turns to look back at you and Nate smiles at her innocently, but it’s been a while since that’s fooled her. “Do we need to stay home?”

It serves to get the two of you moving, even as you laugh at her joke. Nate drives you to another one of his favorite restaurants, and dinner flies by, with Nate insisting on picking up the tab, even when your dad tries to fight him on it. 

It’s started to cool down a little by the time you’re walking back toward the car, Nate and your dad still fake-fighting about paying for dinner, and you find yourself not realizing you’re smiling at the two of them as you walk behind them until your mom bumps your shoulder. “A few hours off for dinner with some good company was just what you needed.” She says.

And even though the smile on her face seems too knowing, you’re too tired to ask about it right now, so you just nod in agreement. “Yeah, this was nice.” You smile back at her.

-----

Mel Landeskog pokes her head around the corner and you wave at her, trying to catch her attention. “Jesus Christ.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t think he was serious.”

“I mean.” You bite your lip. “I did have to work today.”

“I would have picked you up!” She shakes her head, muttering under her breath, and you know Nate’s going to get an earful from her later. “But no, no. That dumbass just let you come all the way over here by yourself. Sends me a text to come meet you by the door. All casual.”

“I mean.” You send her a look. “Did you expect anything different from Nate?”

It’s the way she looks at you and sets her face that almost has you nervous for Nate. You’ve known Mel for a long time now, but really, you don’t know her from more than just years of NHL events. “I do now.” She says.

You hope Nate knew what he was getting himself into sending Mel a text to come find you earlier.  

Once she leads you up into the box with some of the wives and kids, she’s back to smiling and laughing, making introductions all around. The mood all around is light and easy, everyone excited for the home opener of the season, and happy to be back with everyone again. 

It’s fun to be back in this atmosphere. Hockey’s been a part of your life for so long and there’s truly nothing like the energy of the first game of the season. You feed off the energy, catching up with some familiar faces and chatting with all the other girls, probably too excited when they invite you to a girl’s night later in the week, but it feels good to have plans that don’t involve trying to invite yourself to Nate’s when you’re bored.

“Hey, good job tonight.” You nudge him afterwards, catching up with him in the family room.

He laughs, pulling you in for a hug. “A little different than what you were used to?”

“It lived up to the hype, I guess.”

“I’ll turn you from a Pens fan.” Nate promises. 

It’s your turn to laugh. “Feel Sid’s wrath.”

“What’s he going to do? Check me into the boards? Bring it.”

Nate’s been hanging out with your brother and your family for years now, so he should really know better by now. “Okay, buddy.” You pat his shoulder patronizingly. “Sure.”

“I could take him.” Nate insists. 

“Throw hands. Next game. I dare you.” 

He side-eyes you, because you both know that’s not going to happen and it’s only a minute before you’re both laughing. 

“I better see you on Friday!” Ashley Kadri shouts out to you as she’s walking past with Naz and Naylah, interrupting your laughter. “No excuses!”

“I’ll be there!” You call back. “Promise!”

When you look back, Nate’s pouting-exaggerated, albeit, but pouting. “Are you ditching me this Friday?”

“Yup. Found better company.”

“How dare you?” He cries. “There is no better company.”

“Well.” You shrug. “I’ll know for sure after happy hour on Friday.”

“Find your own ride home.” Nate says and then he starts speed walking away from you at an absurd speed.

“Nate!” You protest, jogging to catch up and he finally slows down enough for you to catch up when you round the corner, bumping your shoulder right back when you purposely bump into him in retaliation.

-----

No one lets loose like a group of moms when they’ve got a night without their kids.

Someone has mentioned this to you before, at a bachelorette party or a wedding or something, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen it really in action before until this happy hour. 

“If the waitress comes back, order me another drink!” Kerry calls, before running off to the bathroom.

The waitress nods at her, before addressing the rest of you. “Another round?”

“Oh, please!” Mel nods quickly and repeatedly.

“Can we get a few more orders of mozzarella sticks too, please?” You look down at the empty plates in front of you. “And maybe some nachos too?”

“Yes!” Jackie lights up across from you. “Great call!”

It pretty much only goes downhill from there and by the end of the night, both Mel and Ashley are crying for reasons no one is sure of entirely and you’re pretty grateful to see Nate among the group of husbands and boyfriends to come to pick up all their girlfriends.

So grateful you scream his name the second you see him. “Nate!”

He winces, trying to pull his ear away from you, but he’s laughing. “Guess you had a good time, huh?”

“Uh huh!” You nod enthusiastically, not realizing how loud you are until he winces again.

Nate laughs. “Alright, I think it’s time to go home.”

You gasp loudly. “I can’t leave my new friends!”

“Your new friends are all leaving you!”

You frown, but look around and realize he’s right. Naz has already sneakily pulled Ashley out of the bar and Gabe and Erik were collecting Mel and Jackie’s things. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Nate parrots. “Come on, get your stuff, crazy girl.”

“Hey!” You protest, grabbing your purse. “I am the least crazy person in my family.”

“I hate to break it to you.” Nate says, as he guides you into standing. “But that’s not saying much.”

He’s right, but you bump him with your shoulder anyway as you walk past. That’s about sibling honor and shit.

Nate parked too far away and by the time you reach his car, you’re leaning on him, the adrenaline from hanging out with friends wearing off quickly. Nate’s nice about it, guiding you to his car and then helping you into his front seat before heading around to the driver’s side. 

“You guys had a fun time then?” Nate says, once he’s started driving and you’re half asleep leaning against the window. “Looks like it at least.”

“Yeah.” You nod sleepily. “But you were right.”

He chuckles. “About what?”

“There’s no better company than you.”

-----

Nate becomes pretty clingy after that night, texting and facetiming whenever he’s out of town, and stopping by pretty much anytime he’s got a free minute. It quickly becomes something you look forward to, missing his visits when he’s out of town and looking forward to his calls, smiling when his texts come in and breaking up your work day. And it isn’t long before you realize that you’re being just the same. Sending him messages before and after games. Inviting yourself over for dinner and making Nate cheat on his diet.

In a blessed move from the NHL scheduling department, Sid and the rest of the Pens are scheduled to arrive in town on a Friday morning and aren’t leaving until the end of the weekend. 

They have a practice scheduled for early afternoon, which is perfect for you to wrap up your work day before heading over to watch the end.

Geno lights up when he sees you watching from the glass, the first person to acknowledge you, and skating over in the middle of the drill, leaving behind two shocked linemates. “Mini!” He shouts cheerfully, even as you roll your eyes at your least favorite nickname. All because you happen to be the shortest of your siblings. “Great to see you.”

“You too, Geno.” You smile warmly at him, a little annoyed that you can’t get a giant bear hug from your favorite pseudo-older brother right away. “But I don’t think a few other people feel the same right now.” You jerk your chin back over his shoulder. 

He turns his head quickly but then looks back. “Psh. They’ll get over it.”

You bust out laughing, which is right about when your brother comes over, and in classic Sid fashion, is all about hockey. “Stop being a distraction.”

“I was minding my own business until Geno came over here!” You protest, even as Geno starts laughing and Sid eyes you skeptically. 

“Why don’t I believe that one?” Sid says dryly and sure, maybe you were making faces at some of the guys you knew well as they were passing you, but you weren’t actively being a distraction.

“That’s your prerogative.” You tell Sid, who shakes his head and pulls Geno back for the remainder of practice. 

Practice doesn’t last for too much longer and you spend a few minutes chatting with the coaching staff while you wait for Sid to change. But he and Geno finally come out of the locker room and you stop mid-sentence to throw yourself at your brother.

Sid’s laughing and so are you, but both of you start laughing even harder when Geno pulls you both into his arms. “Two of my favorite people!”

“Taylor’s going to be so offended.” Kris grins, watching the three of you amused.

“Taylor?” You grin back at him, going for a hug once Geno releases you. “How about his wife and kid?”

“Those are my other favorite people.” Geno reasons.

“Now I’m offended.” Kappy deadpans.

“You’re not even close.” Geno grins, roughing his hair.

Kappy tries to get him right back, but Geno just swats his hand away and then Sid’s shaking his head, like this is just the same shit, different day. “Look what you did.”

You grin, leaning against him. “Not sorry. I’ve missed this entertainment.”

Sid shakes his head. “Then you can round them up for dinner.”

You do. Easily.

Nate had suggested one of the team’s favorite restaurants and you’re happy to see that he’d accepted your invitation to join everyone, even if he rolls in a little late. You’re deep into Kris’ camera roll, looking at pictures of his kids and catching up on stories that you haven’t heard about them recently, so you don’t even notice he’s arrived and said hello already until he blows on the back of your neck.

You jump. “What the hell?”

Nate’s grinning. “Hey.”

You shake your head at him and bump your shoulders against him. “Hey.” You mimic and then turn right back to Kris.

But your shoulder stays leaning on Nate, and it remains there comfortably all night.

-----

Sid’s a little cranky when you first meet him for breakfast the morning after the game and you’re sure it has everything to do with the last minute turnover that cost them the game (and bragging rights over Nate this summer, which is really what he’s probably cranky about).

He gets over it pretty quickly though, and soon the two of you are laughing and talking, catching up about your family and your lives.

“-and I even love my office, the vibes are just great!”

Sid shakes his head. “Vibes.”

You grin. You know he hates that word. “Good vibes.” You confirm.

“So you’re liking Denver?”

“Love it.” You confirm, smiling.

“Meeting good people?”

You eye him skeptically. “Yes dad. I already said my coworkers are great and I’ve been hanging out with Nate and his friends a lot too. It’s good”

“Geno thinks there’s something going on between you and Nate.” Sid says casually.

The jump of your heart is far from casual. “Oh yeah?”

Sid eyes you but his response to that is surprising. “You know if there was something going on between you and Nate that would be okay?” He pauses, watching you again, but your face is completely neutral, purposely not moving. “Right?”

“You know if there was something going on between me and Nate that your opinion wouldn’t matter at all, right?”

He grins, laughing as he nods, but after he takes a bite of pancakes he says, “To you, yeah. To him, it does.”

“Why?” You blurt out, giving yourself away before you can stop yourself.

But Sid doesn’t say anything to that. He grins again and then changes the subject entirely.

-----

You only make it about a day before you’re knocking on Nate’s door, pretty forcefully.

“What’s up?” He swings the door open, with a frown. “You okay?”

“Does what my brother thinks really matter to you that much?” You blurt out. It’s been bothering you ever since Sid mentioned it at breakfast. That you lasted this long was probably a miracle.

Nate blushes and your jaw drops. “It-”

“Oh my god.” You grin delightedly. “Come on, really?”

“That’s not-” He blows out a frustrated sigh. “You’re really going to make me say it?”

You nod, but you’re pretty sure he’s not going to get far into what he’s going to say.

He sighs again. “It’s not about, like, his approval, or shit. It’s just- he’s important to you. So obviously he’s important to me-”

You kiss him. 

“You know that you don’t even have to worry about that, right?” At some point, you’d slid one hand to his hip and the other arm around his neck, and the hand there plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I’ll argue about that with you later.” Nate says impatiently and so you’re laughing when he kisses you again.

[nikkiwriteswords]

Hi! I would love to hear your thoughts/predictions/hopes for s3, now that we got the episode titles :D

Hey Nora!! Let me go grab my tua theory hat real quick. Spoiler alert, it looks exactly like the umbrella hat on the 3 right here:

Full disclosure, I've only got like a pinky toe in the tua fandom right now, but I'm still going to see what BS I can spin from these titles.

1. MEET THE FAMILY. The description on imdb is "The siblings get to know some more of the 43 children in an alternate timeline." So, I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Netflix likes to start things off with a bang, so s3 of TUA will probably be no different: we'll probably get a vague flashforward/flash-sideways to a "what if" scenario that will make sense by the last few episodes, and the rest of the episode will be sowing seeds for the s3 plot. The big question is, what family are we meeting? I think this episode will revolve around themes of family (no-brainer) and redefining the relationships between our Umbrella siblings in light of the season 2 finale, as well as their new Sparrow 'replacements'. To that end, initial Sparrow sibling parallels will be presented and subsequently complicated in this first episode. I also predict we'll see varying reactions to this alternate Reginald, as the Umbrella siblings are thrust into an outsider perspective that follows on from season 2.

2. WORLD'S BIGGEST BALL OF TWINE. This is going to be a multi-layered metaphor. I can feel it. It will no doubt refer to the plot that's about to unfold (is it an outside threat to both parties - the Umbrellas and Sparrows - from, say, the Commission, or is it more to do with the two rival Academies?), but I wonder if it also refers to the Wizard of Oz type scenario the Umbrella siblings find themselves in: they aren’t in Kansas anymore. (But you know what is in Kansas? The world's current biggest ball of twine.) Also kind of want to see Klaus knitting again in this ep - perhaps as a way to subtly re-address his ongoing addiction issues, especially now Ben is gone.

3. POCKET FULL OF LIGHTNING. This probably has to do with powers. Sparrow powers, Umbrella powers. There'll be a lot of new flexes in this season, so who this refers to is anyone's guess.

4. KUGELBLITZ. Here's where it starts to get interesting, because this title carries forward the subject of lightning from the last one. According to a very quick internet search, kugelblitz literally means "ball lightning" in German, and refers to both a) a glorified WW2 tank designed to take out aircraft (a certified Big Boi), and b) a theoretical black hole made from light/radiation rather than matter. So this is absolutely going to be a new, unseen power - probably from the Sparrows. Hopefully from Christopher because a cube executing a move named after a sphere just makes me chuckle. Ah, fun with shapes... But in addition, this power is probably going to pack a huge, debilitating punch to whatever narrative is underway at this point in the plot. I'll bet money that whoever wields this power is the tank character in their party or they are after this at least.

5. KINDEST CUT. This throws me back to the barber shop meta, I'm not gunna lie. Someone's going to get hurt, either physically or emotionally, and it's going to be the lesser of two evils. If it's a follow through on the barber metaphor, then Reggie will be the one to orchestrate it. Or, in a surprise twist, will he be the one gTetting hurt or being silenced? (Remember that cutthroat allegory that chases the siblings through the first season, particularly Allison and Klaus. It was about becoming voiceless.) 6.MARIGOLD. Big shout out to this post for spreading the word on the marigold symbolism. I'm pretty sure this will be Reginald backstory, which ties in with the creation of the Umbrella Academy. Also, because I'm a sucker for flower symbolism and reading into things, consider that marigolds:

a) fall into two families, the calendula which means "little clock" and the tagetes, which is named after the Etruscan prophet Tages. The Etruscans believed heavily in predestination - some events are set in stone, and cannot be changed. (Consider the way the apocalypse seems to always come for one set of siblings...) b) are named as such colloquially because they were offered in place of money to the Virgin Mary. (More divine imagery, and reference to a pure mother figure...) They are Mary’s gold. So maybe it’s a reference to Reginald’s wife, which would fit with the flashback scene we see in 1x10.  c) are a flower of duality. They have strong connections with the sun and resurrection, yet the marigold is thought to be a flower of grief because it blooms in autumn. Again, think about that flashback in the first season. At the end of the world and a wife dying, there was the promise of rebirth. d) It's also a very common flower. Remember, there's actually 43 siblings out there. We've only met 14.

Also Netflix loves to do this thing around the halfway point (usually episode 5/6) in a season they're producing. They'll switch up the narrative with a twist or turn that provides a new perspective. 7.AUF WEIDERSEHEN. Once again, a German connection. And, obviously, a goodbye. Considering the last season focused on Kennedy, are we going to get some earlier Cold War time-travel shenanigans? Or maybe WW2? I think Blackman has said something about the Berlin Wall, which is interesting. A country divided... Umbrellas and Sparrows allegory? But as an aside, I'm also kinda lowkey hoping it's a nod to Auf Weidersehen, Pet. If you don't know the show, here's the wiki summary for the first season:

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet is a British comedy-drama television programme about seven British construction workers who leave the United Kingdom to search for employment overseas. They find work on a German building site in Düsseldorf but despite promises of hostel accommodation, are forced to live in a small hut that reminds them of a World War II POW camp. The rest of the series is driven by the interactions and growing friendships between the various characters.

In episode seven, three of the “Magnificent Seven” visit an intercontinental hotel. Just saying. If s3 was to go this route, my money would be on Luther, Diego and Five getting up to shenanigans in this one. I miss 125 shenanigans.😢

8.WEDDING AT THE END OF THE WORLD. Honestly, I’m holding out hope that one of our fave siblings gets married. I feel like that’s a trap though... Actually I feel like it might actually be a trap. As in, this is when the rising action really kicks it up a notch. But also remember the title of 1x01: We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals. Maybe the siblings get split up, possibly in episode 3/4, and they’re trying to reunite through episodes 5-7. Also thinking about hotels and apocalypses...  There’s something very fatalistic about these titles so far. I have a feeling that the B-plot or the subtext is going to reveal a lot more about Reginald’s history and the destruction of his world.

9. SIX BELLS. This makes me think of church bells, which is some nice continuity with the wedding of the last title. But church bells are rung for all sorts of reasons - as a call to worship, or in celebration or mourning, or to tell the time. (Thinking back to those marigolds suddenly.) But why six? Now I’m thinking of bell ringing (change ringing), and the way different bells have different cord lengths to control the time of their chimes. It’s a highly mathematical process. Will this episode be Five’s time to shine? Will he coordinate his siblings through a large attack? 10. OBLIVION. Does anything even need to be said about this one? Hotel Oblivion baby ✌✌ Any further theorising would require more knowledge of the coming plot tbh.

Edit: I wrote most of this at 2am, so I’ve just tidied it up a little. Thank you for the ask, Nora! This was fun to think about. 

[incandescentflower]

Tagged by @funyasm Thank you, Funya! I love that I have a channel home on the discord. :)

Oh wow, this got long so...

1. your all time favorite bl and why?

Ok, so I agree with Funya that the Untamed is not BL in the sense that I think this tag game means, but it is 100% my favorite and I consider it BL completely. I love it with my heart and soul. 

But if I have to pick one that labels itself as BL, it is definitely Cherry Magic. As most people who have watched it have said, it is a straight serotonin hit and I continue to love it.

2. that one bl that scarred you for life?

There are a lot that are not great, unfortunately. I think Why R U? was the worst one for me. There was a SUPER triggering scene at the end that I just could not believe was there, despite knowing full well that it happens in the genre.

3. is there any bl that made you feel very single?

Lol, this is a funny question to me because I have not been single for a LONG time and it seems to presume that only single people would enjoy BL or romance tropes in general. Which I can assure you, is not true.

4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

Hands down the second season of Together with Me’s major plot point. (SPOILER) -->> The cheating plot line was the worst and I loved their first season relationship so much, that they grew from friendship and were so careful with one another’s feelings and then the second season curse. (although technically the third? Bad Romance was weird, yo.)

Actually, I would really say the same about IPYTM, although I found their portrayal more realistic, but still, I didn’t feel like they earned that situation as much as they should have, and COULD have knowing how well the first season was written. 

AND, AND, sorry, this list could really go on forever, but there was a scene in We Best Love season 2 I’d love to erase from my brain and the show.

5. that one bl you detest (don’t hold back) :

Obviously there are so many bad things about TharnType. I would not say I detest it. I don’t think much about it. But I think the actors chemistry really allows people to gloss over some of the worst parts, although I feel mixed because they did outright address *some* of the badness in the second season and it is more than I have seen a lot of shows do, so I would not say detest. Just generally disgusted with some of the issues of the first season.

6. your top five: (consulting my spreadsheet, lol)

Cherry Magic

To My Star

I Told Sunset About You

Lovely Writer

A Tale of a Thousand Stars

But again, the Untamed and Word of Honor are top on my list if included in these.

7. that trashy bl you lowkey like:

I don’t know what should be defined as trashy, but despite the stupid and really completely outrageous premise, I really enjoyed Be Loved In House I Do. I just ignored the whole set up because it was ridiculous and they shouldn’t listen to  Jin Yu Zhen’s rules because they were dumb and not at all what a boss can dictate and it was obvious he was going to have to grovel about being wrong in the end. But they actually did a nice little twist on the whole ex returning that I thought was sweet and included Aaron Lai’s real life car accident in the plot in an affecting way that seems potentially meaningful for the actor. I do not understand the reasoning for the special episode at the end at all because I didn’t care about Real and Stone’s past relationship, but I really enjoyed the leads chemistry, SHI LEI’S MOM and grumpy/sunshine is ALWAYS my jam.

8. your favorite korean bl

To My Star hands down. Two relatively lonely people who let down their guard for each other? Love it. Their dynamic was so wonderful.

I do agree that Light on Me is very good, but I don’t think it would top To My Star for me. I tend to enjoy the more adult stories being, you know, more elder. But I am really happy that Korean BL seems to be growing and I have hopes for a good full kdrama BL romance someday. 

9. season 2? which one?

Hrm, I don’t think I really liked any season 2s? I guess the best one I have seen is Still 2gether. They addressed any weird things from season 1 based on fan response, although some of it just retread territory that I thought they had gone through in season 1 and made me very sad for Tine being so insecure. BUT, I have said this before, that was the most romantic product placement I have ever seen when they threw the bottle across the street with the note, lol.

10. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for?

I have no idea what will be airing. I let the peeps in the queermedia channel guide me. :)

Funya tagged most the people I know who watch BL on the regular so I’ll just wait and see what they post. *chin on hands*

[the-infinite-accent]

Loving these new Steven Universe Future episodes but lowkey scared we won’t get too many more episodes to fully deconstruct the ideas they’re bringing up/have brought up

Like the lack of demonisation of the Diamonds (like they’re genocidal dictators and yet they got off easy honestly, White especially?) and the unhealthy actions of Lapis in Season 5 haven’t been addressed yet (which tbh are more for when we get those fabled flashback/in between the timeskip episodes that were mentioned by the crewniverse I hope) and whilst not as important as these, I still find it a shame we haven’t focused on Lars or the Off Colours that much in Future or season 5, so hopefully they can make up for that soon? Maybe I’m whiny but it honestly hurts my experience of the show that at least the first two points have been left on the side of the road for now.

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 10x05: “Fan Fiction”

As a former theatre kid, this episode brings me so much joy.

“Ghost? Meet Winchester.”

There’s our girl!

“Where is the Samulet?”

“Oh! I took it off. It kept hitting me in the lips, and...”

“That amulet is the symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love!”

!!!

“There is too much drama in the drama department.” Well...yeah.

“Why couldn't they just do ‘Godspell’ like good little skanks ? Instead it's this... awful, unbelievable horror story. Hmm! Like that stuff really happens! Huh, theater is about life, you know? Truth! Truth! Where is the truth in ‘Supernatural’?”

What the fuck kind of teacher is this??

I had a theater teacher who told us theatre was magic. I think she would’ve liked Marie’s play about Supernatural.

There she goes.

“I mean, it's close, but it's just.... It needs a little more grrrr!”

Our very special title card.

“Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot

Our beautiful Baby.

Dean awake before Sam? A shocker.

“A teacher in an all girls school went missing in Flint, Michigan. She was heading to her car, disappeared, and nobody's seen her since.”

“Dean, there's nothing here that even remotely suggest there is a case.”

“There is nothing that even remotely suggest there isn't a case. Boom!”  

Logic!

Hell yes!

Thank you, thank you, thank you Robbie Thompson.

“Ugh, theater kids. Great.”  

“What? I was a theater kid.”

“Barely. You did ‘Our Town’, which was cool. But then, you did that crappy musical.”

“The - ‘Oklahoma’? Hugh Jackman got cast off of ‘Oklahoma’.”

“You ran tech, Wolverine.”

Hey, Techies are just as important as the actors.

They missed the huge banner advertising the show??

hahahaha, their faces are hilarious. Granted, if I found out someone made a musical about my life, I’d be speechless too.

“If there is case... It probably has something to do with all of this.” It has everything to do with it.

Marie, writer/director, and Maeve, the stage manager. (Fun fact: I was a stage manager once! Lots of fun, work, and telling people to shut up and pay attention.)

“I'm Special Agent Smith. This is my partner, Special Agent -”

“Smith.”

“Smith. No relation.”

Again with the joke.

There’s plenty of singing in Supernatural, mostly from you, Dean.

“If there was singing, it would be classic rock. Not this Andrew Floyd Webber crap -”

“Andrew Lloyd Webber.”

Love the improv correction.

Don’t shoot down “Carry on Wayward Son”, Sam.

I also had a theater teacher who went through a divorce.

“Maeve, right? You're the stage manager?”

“And I understudy Jody Mills.”

Maeve would make a great Jody!

“I'm gonna throw up.” Shush, Dean.

“I mean, I gotta say, it's kind of charming. The production value, and the...” I love Sam’s sincere interest tho.

Rule #1: You never touch the props.

“Why are they standing so close together?”

“Um...Reasons.”

“You know they're brothers, right?”

“Well, duh! But... Subtext.”

We gotta address that.

“You know, back when I did tech in school, we had two CD decks-”

“I'm sorry, I have to go sign the delivery.”

Aww Sam! I would love to hear his theater stories.

Pfft, Sam.

“There's no space in Supernatural.” We got close to it...

“Chuck stopped writing after ‘Swan Song’. I just- I couldn't leave it the way that it was! I mean, Dean not hunting anymore, living with Lisa?! Sam, somehow back from Hell, but not with Dean?! So, I wrote my own ending.” I don’t blame her.

“Dean becomes a woman.” Would still wanna see that happen in an episode.

“So, Sam came back from Hell. But without a soul. Then, Cas brought in a bunch of Leviathans from Purgatory. They lost Bobby. And then, Cas and Dean got stuck in Purgatory, Sam hit a dog. They met a prophet named Kevin, they lost him too. Then Sam endured a series of trials, in an attempt to close the gates of Hell. Which nearly cost him his life. Then Dean? Dean became a demon. Knight of Hell, actually.”

S6-9 summary, courtesy of Dean.

Here comes the second hand embarrassment.

“That is some of the worst fan fiction that I've ever heard ! I mean, seriously, I don't know where your friend found this garbage!” Oof, I still don’t like that.

“Siobhan and Kristen are a couple in real life. Although, we do explore the nature of Destiel in act two.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Oh, it's just subtext ! But, then again, you know, you can't spell subtext without.... s-e-x.”

!!!!!

Hi, Jensen.

“I don’t understand.”

“Me either.”

“I mean, shouldn't it be... Deastiel?”

LMAO SAM.

“You know... How about Sastiel? Samstiel?”

“Ok, alright. You know what? You're gonna do that thing, where you just shut the hell up. Forever.”

Teasing brother, Sam.

“This whole musical thing, everything, it's... It's all a coincidence? There is no case?” When is it ever just a coincidence?

“Get in the car!”  

!!!!!!!

BUT HE NEVER DENIED IT THOO, that’s all i’m saying.

“You know, we should've done ‘The Outsiders’, like I told you.”

Maggie’s the second person to get kidnapped.

“I called the cops, and a bunch of adults just told me I have an overactive imagination.” :(

“It is all real. And so are we. I'm Sam Winchester. That's Dean.” NO NO NO.

“You guys are way too old to be Sam or Dean.”

“Oh, yeah!”

“More of a Bobby/Rufus combo? Maybe.”

How old do they think Sam and Dean should be???

“We are what the books called hunters.” They believe that.

First guess: a tulpa.

“How do you kill an idea?”  

“Well, in ‘Hell House’, Sam and Dean burnt the house down, to take out the one tulpa they hunted.”

Correct!

“Gird your loins. It's horrifying.” Umm...okay.

I love how reluctant Marie was to burn her prop.

“What?”

“It’s not a tulpa.”

“Say it one more time, but just a little bit more Arnold--”  

LMAO, Dean.

Calliope.

“According to the lore, Calliope manifests creatures from the story she's tuned into.”

The show must go on.

An understandable panic attack over the possibility of getting eaten.

“Is Marie gonna get eaten?” Shush.

I love when Dean calls people “champ”. It’s so sweet and endearing.

“If Sam and Dean were real, they wouldn't back down from a fight. Especially my sweet, brave, selfless Sam. There's nothing he can't do.” !!!

“I used this for my one-woman ‘Orphan Black’ show, last year.” Marie is the theater kid I would’ve lowkey wanted to be.

“Writer. Director. Actor. I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch.” FUCK YES! KICK IT IN THE ASS!

Dean fixing Stage!Cas’ tie!!

Funny Sam asked for Chuck...

“Oh! I-I, I love him. I do! But honestly, the whole author introducing himself into the narrative thing, it's just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories.” I politely disagree.

“Alright, listen up, girls. Now, you're all here, because you love ‘Supernatural’.”

“Actually, I was hoping we'd do ‘Wicked’.” 

“I want you to get out there, and I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text, as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today.”

“Did he just quote ‘Rent’?”

“Not enough to get us into trouble.”

“Ghooooost-facerssss!”  This episode just adds wonderful years to my lifespan.

You know what I would pay to watch this play in full???

“The Road So Far”

There it is.

The misunderstood thumbs up, lmao.

Sam goes bye bye.

Maggie and the teacher.

They were in the school’s basement.

Hello, Calliope.

“I’ll Just Wait Here Then”

Nothing makes me more emotional than seeing the audience fall in love Stage!Cas, much like we did with our real Cas.

“If I have to sit through that second act, one more time... There's robots, and tentacles, and space. I can't even.” lol

“A Single Man Tear”

That exorcism special effect is so wonderful! I can see how they do it now, but from the audience’s POV, it’s absolutely magical.

What the hell did the audience think Dean was doing??

“We're through the looking glass, here, people. Strike the wendigo set, let's prep the priests costumes. And Sarah? Get understudies into hair and makeup.” Maeve’s a A+ stage manager.

“Supernatural has everything. Life. Death. Resurrection. Redemption. But above all, family. All sorts of music you can really tap your toe to. It isn't some meandering piece of genre dreck. It's... epic!” Agreed.

Stage!Dean is a pro if she could keep singing with everything going on in the background.

lmao at the one guy putting on his poncho.

Original Stage!Sam knocks out Calliope.

Understudy!Sam kills the Scarecrow.

Sam kills Calliope. A trifecta of Sam Awesomeness.

RIP Calliope. Killed by Sam.

The audience must be wondering how they managed to do that for years.

“Take a bow, Sammy.” Take a bow too, Dean.

“Thanks for saving my friends.”

“Sure.”

“You know? If you'd cut your hair a little, you'd make a pretty good Dean.”

Aww.

“Dean? You never should've thrown this away.” YYYEEESSS

“It never really worked. And, I don't need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother, so...”

“Just take it. Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

I love Dean’s panic when he realizes he just called a teenage girl a “bitch” without meaning to, lmaoo.

Take it away Stage!Winchesters!

Let me tell you, I literally bursted into tears when they started singing “Carry On Wayward Son”. It’s beautifully done.

Starting with Stage!Mary, who is more or less Square 1 of the entire story.

i remember a lot of people being upset about Cas not being part of the family lineup at the end, and I get it. But if Marie was only going off of the first 5 seasons, it makes sense that she didn’t see Cas as family yet because Sam and Dean didn’t see Cas as family yet. They’re just one year shy of that.

BUT the same girl who plays Cas is on stage as Adam, a technical Winchester. You could say Cas took over Adam’s role as the third Winchester “brother” because canonically speaking, that’s the highest title Sam and Dean have given Cas.

“Who's that?”

“Oh, that's Adam. John Winchester's other kid. He's still trapped in the cage, in Hell. With Lucifer.”

lmaooo. Awkward.

“Don’t you cry no more.” I sing, while crying.

I wish he had kept the Samulet Part 2 on there.

A picture perfect ending.

...One last surprise.

“Oh my gosh! But wait... That means that- Calliope came for me or for-?” Did Marie know who he was?

I thought it was Cas...

I legit lost my goddamn mind when I saw him.

A perfect episode of Supernatural, in my most humble opinion.

[sherlolo-land]

WHY MOLLY'S EXISTENCE IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF FAN-SERVICE IN BBC SHERLOCK (The Ultimate Analysis)

Ok so i’ve been wanting to do this for so so so long but since my account is mostly about my art, i decided to submit it on here, since it is very very… suitable lol. Forgive any grammar mistakes. English is not my first language and i’m not used on writing extremely long analysis. Let’s start!

Introduction: 

After spending time thinking about it again and again and after molly’s character humiliation in season 4, i came to the conclusion that Molly Hooper is a character made simply to target the teenage female audience. In a few words Steven Moffat wanted to make more girls watching his show, using a character who was only there so they can identify with. 

Part 1: Molly’s supposed role in the show

Molly was supposed to be in only the first scene of the very first episode of Sherlock BBC. Moffat liked Louise’s acting so he decided to keep her in the show entirely. Molly’s first scene with Sherlock can be considered very awkward since Molly comes off as very shy, awkward and “fair”. Exactly the way a teenage girl would act around or to her own crush. If Moffat liked Louise’s acting for that reason, then it is pretty clear what he wanted to do with her character

Part 2: Molly’s Appearance

Molly is a 30 something year old woman. But for some “bizarre” reasons she dresses like 12-15. Extremely girly, “too ugly, it’s cute” and non mature. Take a look:

She also appears to be extremely uncomfortable wearing a “revealing” dress in ASIB but she still does because she thinks that this is what it takes to get Sherlock’s -aka the man she has a crush on- attention (And don’t you dare to call me sexist about that. It has been established many times that Molly changes her appearance in order to look better for Sherlock. Something many young shy girls actually believe it’s the right thing to do.

Not to mention that she actually never wears makeup in situations that have nothing to do with Sherlock. And of course there’s nothing wrong with that, but look the other female characters on Sherlock:

Riiiight. Molly looks extremely child-like next to the other female characters and i do not think this is a coincidence or something that “just sort of happened”. There is a reason why they made her look like that. She had to be average looking, clothes that can be considered “cute” more than “fashionable” and she had to look as young as possible. And that reason is that she had to be more appealing to the 15 year old who watches the show so she can see herself through Molly Hooper.

Bonus: They literally made her a blog that looks like this

I mean… yeah!

Part 2: Molly’s Personality

Molly is very shy, awkward, clumsy, romantic, cheesy and insecure. And this is stated in many parts of the show. As i mentioned above, how she actually feels awkward in the Christmas dress and how she feels insecure especially how she is willing to change her appearance just because Sherlock told her so -see the lipstick scene in ASiP. I’m not saying that grown people can be shy or insecure. But as a grown up, a 31 year old person who has a very serious job, you learn to control it. From the other hand, these characteristics are very common -to the point of being stereotypes- when talking about teenage girls. Molly does not only have all of them, but she has them in a superlative point, making them main aspects of her personality. 

Her being kind and sweet has nothing to do with the characteristics mentioned above. Miss Hudson is kind and sweet too but she doesn’t act like a teenage girl.

Molly’s character is actually a very common character trope, usually used in movies and shows, to target young female audience who has the same personality, it’s in the same “level” of looks - this might sound harsh but it’s the truth. Usually girls who are more average looking (not necessarily on the face, it can be just the clothing style too) and have a hopeless crush on a guy he will never return her feelings

Part 3: Molly’s crush and how it is in real life

As we know Molly has a crush on Sherlock. Sherlock is the mean, the super intelligent, dark and mysterious guy who doesn’t return Molly’s feelings. And not only that; He constantly manipulates her, takes advantage of her feelings because he knows that she has a crush on him

Another very typical kind of real life “relationship” that has been represented in multiple films and shows. 

“A very shy, awkward ect ect girl falls in love with the very mean, cold and dark guy who doesn’t really have any feelings towards her. But somehow, she gets that guy to notice her and she eventually receives two cheek kisses. The shy and cheesy girl humanizes the ’‘bad boy” and he eventually realizes that he is in love with her.“

This is what this relationship actually stands for. Imagine how many real life girls who are shy and all, are in love with a guy who ignores them or he is mean to them. Seeing Molly Hooper and her relationship with Sherlock, makes them hope that this will happen to them too with the boy of their dreams. They empathize with Molly and they see themselves on her. We can say that they have the ’'shy girl” representation they “need”. Lol.

Part 4: Fan Service scenes in the show

After all that, it is not wonder how 5 out of 6 Molly scenes in the BBC show, have to do with her crush on Sherlock or they have a glimpse of “”“’'romance”“”“ between her and Sherlock. They are also the longest and her most ”“important”’. Let’s count some!

1. Molly’s first scene that literally made her part more important. Molly asks Sherlock out, he rejects her. She comes back with his coffee and we have the whole “small mouth” dialogue ( ASiP)

2. Sherlock’s fake compliments regarding her hair (TBB)

3. The whole “jim is my new bf i moved on” thing that establishes that Molly cannot find someone else other than Sherlock (TGG)

4. Christmas scene and cheek kiss (ASiB)

5. Molly getting “confused” and “jealous” of Irene because she thinks she is Sherlock’s gf -2 scenes- (ASiB)

6. “I don’t count”, the scene when Sherlock asked Molly to help him (TRF)

7. The ultimate teen girl fantasy: The kiss scene in Anderson’s mind (TEH) -which was completely  unnecessary for the plot, let’s be real. It was only there because Moffat thinks fans of Benedict will get turned on bruh. We can love an actor without wanting to fuck him ffs-

8. Another ultimate fan-service scene: Sherlock and Molly solving crimes together. “You mattered the most” 1. Sherlock didn’t mean this romantically 2. Sherlock’s pressure point is John and villains always go after him since he is the “damsel in distress”, the cheek kiss, Molly hasn’t actually moved on (TEH)

9. Molly showing up with a guy looking exactly like Sherlock (TEH)

10. Molly’s obviously existent crush on Sherlock (TSoT)

11. Being the “ignored and manipulated because of her feelings, by Sherlock” woman (TAB)

11. The forced “i love you scene” (TFP)

Now let’s take a look at her other scenes and how useful they were for the plot -not really tbh lol:

1. Molly worrying about Sherlock having to make a speech

2. Molly slapping Sherlock (HLV) -no she wasn’t 'powerful feminist who stands up for herself’’. She could have find other ways to stand up to Sherlock for all the times he hurt her and not slap a man heartbroken and high as a kite- Period!

3. Molly just… existing in Mary and John’s house and Rosie’s baptism (TST)

There might be more but i guess they ain’t actually important to remember.

The only scenes where Molly is being useful to the plot without having her crush on Sherlock being addressed or something, it’s her “male” scene in TAB and the “anyone but you” scene in TST.

Reading into all this makes us realize that Molly’s existence literally goes around her hopeless crush and most of her scenes are only there to please the teen female fans, because they can see their “dream love story” getting “unfolded” on their TV screens. 

Part 5: How Moffat sees it

Moffat’s reputation when writing female characters is really not good. And Molly Hooper is actually a good example for that. Moffat uses Benedict’s looks and the fact that he -as Sherlock mostly- has become a sex icon, to attract his female fans. He thinks that female fans of Benedict (or Sherlock) actually fantasize about him and he is their dream guy. After all Who wouldn’t like Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes to smash their window, jump in the room, ruffle his infamous curls and snog them?1!1!! This is what Moffat believes, girl fans want. But of course he can’t have Sherlock seductively talking to the camera and naked all the time. So what does he do? He creates a character based on the most common teenage girl stereotypes, who symbolizes the female audience, in the show , and put her in some lowkey useless scenes with Sherlock, who can be considered romantic if you ignore major facts -such as, Sherlock is homosexual. Moffat succeeded on targeting a whole “audience group” just by intruding into the personality of the socially awkward 14 year old girl, who is in love with the “dark” guy.

Conclusion:

Molly Hooper is entirely a character made and developed only for the satisfaction of the fantasies MOFFAT thinks his female audience has. She was never supposed to develop from the very beginning since her role in the show is only to chase after Sherlock. I, in no way, think that still loving a man without him having the same feelings or being kind is a sign of weakness or something bad. But the fact that Moffat sees his own female fans like that -as i said in a superlative and overmuch level- and he prefers to put a completely useless female character in the show, to have her hanging from the hot guy’s balls, only to give satisfaction to the teen girls who ship themselves with Sherlock or/and Benedict, but refusing to make Sherlock explicit homosexual, it is just sad. He of course uses the gay subtext as he does not want to lose the lgbt audience too but he is being a jerk to the fans when talking directly to or about them and he keeps denying things that he HIMSELF put in the show. I guess it’s all about marketing after all. And more people need to take their heads out of their asses and realize that. 

Why is it easier for Moffat to satisfy some teen girl audience, with things that will never happen in real life anyways, instead of giving the LGBT community the right representation it needs?

[dxringred]

SVU for the in depth fandom questions, of course!

Whoever sent me this is an angel and I am eternally in your debt. Also going to put this under the cut because I know before even writing it that it’s going to be long. x

Top 5 favourite characters: well anyone who knows me knows that Casey Novak is my favorite character, of course. I also really love Melinda Warner, and Elizabeth Donnelly. And Fin Tutuola and John Munch make me laugh quite frequently so they’d probably round off my top five.

Other characters you like: generally speaking I like most of the regulars? If I had to pick, like, five more they’d probably be, in no particular order: George Huang, Alexandra Cabot, Amanda Rollins, Judith Siper and Ruben Morales.

Least favourite characters: Any of the ADAs who appear after Season 9, apart from maybe Sonya Paxton whose complexity and uncountable character flaws I really loved; Dale Stuckey although I did feel quite sorry for him when it came down to it; Rafael Barba; and Elliot Stabler.

Otps: I won’t lie, I literally ship nobody from SVU? If I had to pick any ship it’d probably be Olivia/Casey because they’re mostly the only characters I pay attention to, and Olivia/Amanda comes directly after it. But I do have a soft spot for Munch/Fin because they’re pretty cute together. I also had a brief thing for Elliot/Casey during one rewatch which was weird as hell.

Notps: lmao anything involving Barba, particularly Barisi although I don’t watch the newer seasons so it’s not really something I have to worry about. I’m pretty much impartial to every other ship there is if I’m honest.

Favourite friendships: basically Casey and everyone? Though I really like her friendship with Munch, and I like Munch’s “friendship” with Fin. And I like Melinda’s friendship with everyone when it is shown. Bensler was pretty good too before S6 when everything went to the dogs between them.

Favourite family: there are practically only two families on SVU so this doesn’t help, but I’d have to pick the Stablers because I actually really like Kathy (and had a little bit of a crush on Maureen).

Favourite episodes: I have a list of all my favorites in my drafts and there are literally 40 names on that list. Night is definitely my favorite of all time (along with Serendipity and Raw) even if it does get me super emotional, but off the top of my head other episodes would include: Hate, Scavenger, Poison, Goliath, Parts, Painless, Game, Screwed, Influence, Alternate, Pretend, Authority, Svengali, Savant, Gone, Manipulated, Mean, Blinded, Impulsive, Reparations, Bound and Alien. (I’m pretty sure I could actually recite the entire list off of the top of my head which is pretty sad lmao.)

Favourite season/book/movie: I love all of Seasons 5-9 but Season 5 is probably my favorite in terms of episodes, with 6 at a very close second.

Favourite quotes: honestly most of the stuff Casey says because she literally just sasses everyone. But some of my favorites in general probably have to be:

“The Patriot Act. This convoluted piece of legislature isn’t worth the paper it’s written on!“ 

"I’m not saying I didn’t see crazies in Brooklyn but you guys are cuckoo magnets." 

"If you think Jack McCoy is going to let me get away with that then you are crazier than he is." 

"His dirty laundry is cleaner than my entire wardrobe." 

"D'you know what you get when you mix fertilizer and diesel fuel? Oklahoma City." 

“Your jacket has more than a few excessive force complaints and if IAB finds there’s any merit to Dixon’s story you’re a liability I just won’t tolerate." 

Best musical moment: I’ve got to say I love the opening theme. I also like the music at the end of Goliath, and the soundtrack at the end of Screwed because that always gets me emotional. There’s also a scene in Avatar where the background music is really good. Generally a lot of the background music is really good to be honest.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: probably when Casey made her reappearance in Reparations; that sent me over the edge, let me tell you. Liv’s return in S8 also gets me quite a bit when I watch that episode.

When it really disappointed you: even though I’ve only watched the episode once, and have literally no recollection of it, Cold is an episode I will never talk about, never watch, and never admit the existence of. My other big disappointment is the end of Dana Lewis which I am so angry about, god damn it she deserved better!!!

Saddest moment: Night is the saddest episode ever, I absolutely cannot watch it without shedding tears. It’s bad enough that Casey gets beaten to within an inch of her life in her own office (fun fact: the actress actually got beaten up in real life for that scene which makes it 10x worse) but then you see her in the hospital and she’s crying and all banged up and I sWEAR TO GOD. Sometimes I put off watching the episode for days because I cannot mentally prepare myself despite watching it six billion times before.

Most well done character death: Sonya Paxton. It’s one of three I recall and really hurts me when I do decide to watch that particular episode. Because for me she was an interesting character and I quite liked her. And she really seemed to be helping herself out, and trying to get better. (At least from what I recall.) But then she just gets murdered and still manages to help nail the bastard who killed her.

Favourite guest star: Robin Williams in Authority automatically springs to mind personally, just because it’s one of the more memorable ones. I don’t really pay the greatest amount of attention to guest stars (because I never recognize anyone) but the other person I can think of is Mary Stuart Masterson who played Rebecca Hendrix in S6 and a couple of other episodes. Oh and Marlo Thomas as Mary Clark in S5, she was great too. I love watching her in the few episodes she appeared in. 

Favourite cast member: who am I kidding, everyone knows I’m going to say Diane Neal. God I love her. She’s super funny, passionate, and very into politics and I just love her.

Character you wish was still alive: Sister Peg. Plain and simple.

One thing you hope really happens: I lowkey really want Casey Novak to come back but I know that’s never going to happen, especially not while Barba is still around. But a girl can dream. 

Most shocking twist: for me Serendipity and Trade both had great twists. In terms of throwing you off, Serendipity is notorious for it, and Trade’s twist comes about in, like, the last few minutes of the episode and it’s pretty surprising. (Or at least I thought it was when first watching.)

When did you start watching/reading?: this is such a hard question for me to answer because I don’t entirely remember? I remember vague parts of my childhood where I watched parts of episodes, but that’s only because my mom used to have it on the television all the time. I think I finally decided to watch the entire show from start to finish when I was 11? So almost 7 years ago now. (Fun fact: I’m older than the show by literally only one month and a day lol.) Then after one rewatch I dropped it and occasionally watched the current season. And then I randomly got back into the show last May time, watching from Serendipity to the current season. And the only reason I started at Serendipity and not S1 is because I had a weird epiphany where I vaguely remembered the plot of the episode as well as the name and decided to Google it.

Best animal/creature: it’s got to be Basketball Monkey. For sure. That thing was damn cute.

Favourite location: the courtroom and the DA’s office. Courtroom scenes are always my favorite, for whatever reason, and I like the style of Casey’s office in particular. Very professional, and lots of books. I will also never forget the one time we went to Casey’s apartment.

Trope you wish they would stop using: Saint Benson. I just- it put me off of the show among other things, and I honestly don’t like it. Also, I don’t know if it counts as a trope, and obviously it doesn’t exist in current seasons, but Stabler losing his shit with the ADAs pisses me off. He does it way more than the other detectives and it winds me up. 

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: nowadays? Nothing, that’s for sure. In older seasons, however, I’d say things were more original compared to what I see on TV toady. It’s less soapy and more “hardcore”, with the different episodes tackling different issues. One of my favorite episodes in this sense is Alien, which I definitely recommend because it tackles sexuality as does Closet. Influence and Blinded are also rather good when it comes to mental illness, and Raw is fairly good with, like, addressing racial supremacy etc.

Funniest moments: that one time Casey made a house call to a judge and stumbled upon him playing a game of poker with, like, four other judges. That scene is forever etched into my mind and cracks me up every time I even think about it.

Couple you would like to see: probably Munch/Fin. Don’t know why, but it’d be them for sure. Out of the current cast I’d probably pick Amanda/Olivia, just because. 

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: I would personally love to see an appearance from some of the previous NCIS cast members? I have no clue as to why, I just would. 

Favourite outfit: this is going to sound so dorky, but I’d love all of Casey’s wardrobe? From her casual clothes to her work outfits a lot of the stuff she wears is stuff I’d totally go out in. In fact, a lot of my school wardrobe is inspired by her work clothes so I’m already making some headway there. Shame I can’t walk in heels though.

Favourite item: it’s a clothing item so I guess it counts, but Casey’s “Sex Crimes” softball jersey. (I think it’s a softball jersey?) It’s the cutest and I love the colors. I also lowkey want her tan briefcase/satchel from, like, S5/6. 

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: I own Seasons 1-12 on DVD but, other than that, depressingly no because I live outside of the US and the NBC store doesn’t ship to me. (The bastards.) I’d kill - like literally murder someone - for their official SVU hoodie. And there is a poster on Amazon I’m considering getting for my wall, although where on my wall I’ll put it I have no idea.

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: my favorite team is from Seasons 5-8: Novak, Benson, Stabler, Munch, Fin, Cragen, Warner and Huang. (Plus the others like O’Halloran, Judy and Morales.)

Most boring plotline: even though I love Kathy, generally anything involving Elliot’s marriage. Like dear lord there was so much drama there. I also wasn’t a fan of the Dani Beck episodes - I was pretty impartial to her as a character but for some reasons the episodes lacked a little more than usual.

Most laughably bad moment: no clue, sadly my memory isn’t doing well today.

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: I don’t typically remember anything before S5 or anything after S9 so if there weren’t any flashbacks in those seasons then I don’t have one and if there were then I don’t remember them lol. I’m terrible I know.

Most layered character: I am a biased piece of shit so obviously I’m going to say Casey! From what I’ve seen a lot of people tend to just paint her as one dimensional and arrogant, but there’s actually a lot more to her character and it’s dropped in through certain lines in certain episodes, and of course then there are episodes where you find out more about her - Influence and Blinded are key to getting the most out of her past. I love when they explore her conflicts with mental illness, and how she still feels guilt regarding what happened with her ex, Charlie. 

And then there are episodes like Gone where you get to see more of her emotional side and you realize how hard she tries and how personally she takes her cases etc. There are other things too, often dropped in little pieces of dialogue, but you get just enough about her to paint a picture but not so much that she becomes uninteresting if you know what I mean. I love her, personally, and think there’s so much more to her than just supposed arrogance etc.

Most one dimensional character: from what I’ve seen of current seasons, I’d say Benson and arguably Barba. 

Scariest moment: I don’t know about scariest, but the scene that always has me on the edge of my seat (or rather hunched over my laptop in bed) is when Casey gets attacked in Night; the same goes for the courtroom shooting in Raw. Creepiest scene? Definitely the one in Signature where they go to a serial killer’s torture chamber and it’s just very horrific. Well, not so much for me after the initial viewing because stuff like that honestly fascinates me, I won’t lie, but out of all the scenes I’ve scene it’s definitely one that stands out. There’s also a scene in Streetwise where Elliot shows autopsy photos to a suspect and one is of a little girl with her eyes gouged out and face slit from ear to ear. It’s a very horrifying frame if you pause it at the right moment.

Grossest moment: usually any time Warner (or someone else) does something involving blood/organs/whatever, because I’m a tad bit squeamish. One instance I can think of right now is in Serendipity when she extracts a tube from inside a man’s arm. Makes me shudder a little. 

Best looking male: honestly they all look the same to me. Probably O’Halloran? 

Best looking female: Casey Novak but S8 Olivia is very beautiful too.

Who you’re crushing on (if any): current cast? Nobody. From the show overall? Definitely Casey, though I’m pretty sure anyone reading this saw that coming.

Favourite cast moment: as in offscreen? Because there was this one time where Diane Neal did, like, a mini tour of the set and it was simultaneously the cutest and funniest thing I’ve seen. So probably that.

Favourite transportation: I lowkey love when everyone gets into their cars and all of the sirens go on and a car chase ensues. 

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): probably the end of Screwed because it’s all shot very beautifully. But I also like the overhead shot in Influence where Liv and Casey are on an upper floor in the courthouse looking down at the defendant and a gaggle of reporters.

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: usually I don’t pay enough attention to notice. One that I’ve seen others take issue with is when Casey reappeared in S12 and there was a debate about whether or not she was censured or disbarred and what was going on there, but it’s the only thing that springs to mind and it wasn’t like a big thing.

Best promo: there was one that got me back into SVU when I was a little younger, and I don’t remember what season the promo was for but I remember they played This is War by 30 Seconds to Mars in the promo because I spent weeks trying to find the song afterwards and watched the promo every time it came on the TV like it was a full episode.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: last May when I rewatched it was when I properly fell in love with it again, at least enough to watch it multiple times, buy 12 of the DVDs and follow a bunch of blogs on Tumblr.

[wakabahiguchi]

gpf recap aka. what gpf? there was no gpf, it was canceled

in which literally all my favorites are actually disasters and a reminder that the Olympic season of figure skating is literally the WORST

Is this actually a real GPF recap? or is this a place for me to vent about how demoralizing this event was? Olympic seasons are actually the worst, it’s like you get a glimmer of hope for your faves until it all gets taken away. I knew I was being sent a message when my DVR refused to record the televised GPF this weekend, and with good measure because I would’ve just deleted it anyways, just like how I’m deleting this entire event from my existence :)

Fair warning, this is basically an excuse for me to get extremely emo about my faves who all pretty much made mistakes or just flat out bombed their events. And a time for me to pointlessly complain about why the judges never get behind my faves. Oh, and lots of me stressing out about the Olympics. So, the usual.

First of all, I’m so glad we’ll be having a 1+ month break before anymore international competitions. Nats will happen of course, but the GPF has been too much in terms of stress. All my faves are tired and didn’t perform well at all. Literally all my faves. Every single one of them. I honestly need a break from this sport, thanks skating schedule. 

Ladies

So I basically wrote a soliloquy on how much I love Satoko’s skating and how much her haterz annoy me so here it is:

I'm getting tired of all the negativity that comes in every thread of a competition that Satoko competes in. That's one part I didn't miss about Satoko's hiatus. I'm not so knowledgeable or invested in the rhetoric of jumping techniques or ISU rulings, etc. so I don't have much to say about the heated debate going on about pre-rotations or URs. What I do know, however, is that Satoko has addressed her jumps countless times in interviews and to me, has visibly worked hard on improving it over the years. We've all read the practice reports; everyone knows that she drills those jumps over and over again and doesn't settle for any less. Even so much so that she's injured herself. The accusations that Satoko is purposefully cheating the judging system is perplexing to me, and the argument that she is being overscored doesn't make that much sense to me either. In fact, Satoko's had to work the hardest in order for her PCS and scores to gradually inflate like other skater's scores seem to naturally do. I don't understand why she is getting so much hate; sure, there can be critiques towards the judging system as to the coherency and enforcement of their rules, but for now, judging is how it is. Satoko's job isn't to judge and make calls on her own jumps. Her job, and the only thing she has control over, is her own performance. And to me, she's one of the most elegant and nuanced skaters in that regard. I think it's pointless to blame the skater and to go as far as accuse her of being lazy and knowingly cheating the system when all evidence points otherwise. I've anticipated Satoko's comeback for months and have been so impressed with how she's shown up these past two competitions. While I am also a fan of younger, more powerful skaters, I realized while watching her over the years that it's the skaters that tell a story and really interpret the music that move me the most. It's disheartening as a fan to see all this vitriol thrown at her, but it's also easy for me to just ignore the noise and watch her skate   I'm so excited for the Ladies FS and I hope Satoko continues her streak of good performances at the Grand Prix Final! 

TLDR; I’m used to reading negative things about Satoko; it’s almost like a tradition at this point with her, but it was at this GPF when it hit me the most. For the first time, I really felt kind of miserable about it all and I wanted to write something in support for her, because I truly truly do love her skating so much. 

The qualities that I love the most in Satoko’s skating are never rewarded what they deserve in competition which is why she’ll never win all the things that she deserves. But watching the junior event and some of her competitors right before watching her really hit me with how under appreciated she is. Like I said in my emo post, I love skaters that move me and listen to their music and actually perform. Satoko does all of that and more. I truly love her skating, I always have. But seeing everyone trying to tear her to shreds honestly just made me love her more. Keep thriving Satoko!

Her FS was a disaster in terms of scoring, thanks to the sudden attitude shift by the tech panel, I suppose. I just don’t like playing this guessing game with her scores waiting to see if she’ll be deducted or not. I hate seeing her reactions to the low scores and I hate that her PCS are underscored. Idk, it’s been like this, the same problem over and over for the past two years. At this point, waiting for her scores is like russian roulette and I’d rather just ignore it and enjoy her performances. 

Now onto a bigger mess. Here’s a smaller passage I wrote about my girl Wakaba concerning her constant underscoring:

I'm still puzzled why Wakaba's scores aren't going through the typical inflation a skater's scores usually goes through when they start performing consistently. Her scores have been great compared to her junior years, but they've pretty much been stagnant from the beginning of the season (compared to her competitors) despite consistent showings  She could trade the 3F for a 3Lo but that lowers her BV and she's already not being rewarded for consistency. 

I'm always puzzled about why Wakaba isn't benefitting from higher scores due to her consistency this season  It seems like other skaters are enjoying a meteoric rise in their PCS especially, and their scores have been gradually rising even w/o clean programs. But besides the scoring, Wakaba performed amazing at her first GPF! 

LOL at me trying to be positive at the end but tbh I just don’t get it. Why do So many skaters see such a meteoric rise in PCS but Wakaba doesn’t, despite being consistent and always skating well? Her popularity has skyrocketed this season thanks to her fabulous programs alone, so what’s taking the judges so long to finally get behind her? I shouldn’t be surprised, it took Satoko like 2 years longer to finally get the average PCS scores she’s getting now, but Wakaba is so much like EuroAmerican skaters who seem to be benefiting the most from gradual score increases. Why not her? 

And another disaster FS. But like, it was really a disaster this time. Something wasn’t right, I could tell even before she took the ice that she was more nervous than usual and something jus didn’t click with the program. What went wrong? Wakaba has never been one to crack under pressure, in fact, she usually rises to the occasion. Was the pressure of the GPF too much? Was she overworked? Just tired? Just having an off day? She looked so defeated ever since she missed that first jump, as if she knew she would already lose because she doesn’t benefit from a PCS cushion. It was so upsetting to see, especially because I could notice it affecting her performance. It lost a bit of its spark. I’m a little more concerned for her Olympic spot which she seemed to have locked down before this performance. Now it really depends on nationals. Wakaba has never failed to deliver during Nationals, and now is absolutely not the right time to start. I’m worried for her, this free skate was easily the worst she’s skated all season, and we’ve seen how good she can be with her amazing programs this season. I don’t know what’s in store for her next, I hope she can just be proud of qualifying for her first GPF and take the disappoint to fuel for Nationals.

Pairs

y i k e s. Said in the preview that this would either be the best or the worst competition based on results. based on what I had said, this should be the worst competition. but instead, I’m kind of just lowkey shook that Sui/Han didn’t win, but I’m not that surprised, honestly. As I stated earlier, I never thought they were the judges favorites and despite winning PCS with the fall in the SP they skated basically a WR skate and still didn’t win the FS or the TSS. Shook. I can find the pros in this situation, as I think it’s a reminder that they can’t afford any mistakes. That mistake (from Cong!!) in the SP cost them at least 5-6 points that could’ve won them the entire event. the fact that they lose the PCS element isn’t something I can think of a solution for, honestly, but like?? like I said, they aren’t the judges favorites (no one I like is :^)). Additionally, being back in the underdog situation might be the firing up they need for the Olympics. They’ve already won in the stadium in Korea :) But they’re showing amazing consistency with their FS, especially with the SBS 3S! They’re still the only pair to crack 80 in the SP (a common feat for them). Also, the GPF doesn’t have the best track record when predicting olympic podiums. Also they have tons of time to prepare for Feb because they most likely won’t go to Chinese nats or 4CC. however, I’m equally just as nervous. Even with a clean FS, they didn’t win TES or PCS. Their streak of being undefeated just got broken meaning that they're not as invincible anymore. They no longer hold the WR (which I hope they get back @ the olympics), and now they’re starting to lose out on PCS which is a big WTF for me, but again, not surprising. There’s talk of the 4S coming back which makes me SO nervous because their track record with the 4S has not been great in the past (witnessed it with my own eyes). Before this comp I thought they could go w/o it and still win, now I’m not so sure, since the judges aren’t as eager to give them the win in the FS as they are for the SP. 

I think the only reason why I’m so shook is because I go so hard for winners. I remember back when C/B were in contention for winning things I got so hyped because I’m so desperate to really root for skaters who actually win things and are liked by the judges (probably due to me liking skating after watching YunaMao). Once S/H started winning EVERYTHING last year it was so wonderful. And the GP series this year with the WR and amazing performances were so great. It felt so good to be a fan of skaters who won all the time and came so far from when I first saw them. And now it’s so strange to see them not win something. Even though I knew they weren’t the favorites, it’s so weird to feel like I’m back in 2016 when S/H got silver so many times, got underscored in PCS, and got ignored and looked over. It’s nostalgic in a way. I’m absolutely stressed for them at the Olympics the most, probably because they’re the only ones that have a real likely chance of winning out of everyone else I stan hard for. And that’s what’s kind of scary; because up until now, they were pretty much being hailed as guaranteed locks. And that’s why I have so many thoughts and why I’m so invested. They’ve been on the most uphill climb I’ve ever followed a skater through and somehow, it still doesn’t feel like it’s reached the peak. They’re still going for 2022 but 4 years is SO MUCH for skating and even looking at the pairs field this quad, there’s been so much changing around in positions. This isn’t at all to say that I’ve ruled them out or lost faith. I’m concerned that others will, but S/H have always been underestimated, (although pretty much universally liked by the public thank god). I think I’m just trying to process their situation going forward. It would be a lot clearer had they won, but I can still see some positives from here. The only thing I’m feeling a bit disheartened about is their PCS gap, and the fact that they don’t have the WR anymore. Had they skated a clean SP, would the have won? If they skated last, would they have won? Every time S/H skated last in major competitions recently they won, and when they skated first in the group they didn’t. IDK it’s so so so important for them to get good start orders for the olympics, that’s what may stress me the most lol. Because I know they can deliver; that’s what they’ve proven over the last year. 

I’ve already written WAY too much about this but I tend to overthink and I’m still processing this situation. What I’m worried about the most is probably if they’ll go for the quad throw. I’m so nervous because they shouldn’t need to have it tbh but then again, if they’re no longer winning while skating clean, then what? How will they get the judges back on their side? Were the judges even on their side in the first place? Am I wrong to be doubting everything right now? I wanted to know how they’d score while skating first in a group, and I can see that the judges still like to leave room for scores coming in later. This makes me so apprehensive because basically it means that S/H really NEED to skate last in the FS at the olympics if they even want to win. They might not even be in the last group for the SP due to their lack of competitions during their hiatus. Skating first is a death sentence, as witnessed at Boston Worlds 2016. It’s also wise for them to most likely skip the team event. They don’t need the extra event when lbr china has no chance of medaling at the team event. I think I’m just shook the most from this because I’m not used to them not winning, and it’s weird to be back in this place again. I’m definitely overthinking this whole thing but I needed some way to process my thoughts! They always seem to be in good spirits after competitions regardless of results, but I could tell they seemed kind of pissed. I’m anxiously awaiting what they’ll do to prepare for the olympics, and you bet I’ll probably be dying when the pairs event happens in Pyeongchang. The one consolation I have that will save me from the devastation of 2014 olympics is the fact that they’ll still be continuing for 2022, but like I said, so many things can change. I’m stressed because I know that they have a real solid chance to win. They aren’t locks, like people have claimed (I never thought they were), but IMO they have such a good chance. and THATs why I’m so invested. and THAT’s why I’m so stressed. Because they CAN win and I want them to so bad. And it looked so good up until now where it’s not looking bad, but it’s just not as clear anymore. Still letting my thoughts mull over but IDK how to feel. I’m just really uncertain right now, and that’s an ickier feeling than being outright angry or happy at the moment. I'll be holding my breath and lighting ALL the candles for them from now until February. Obviously, they can still do it. But of course, I’m still worried. I’m always so worried. I really am. Shook, but not shaken. 

Ice Dancing

a disaster! Shibutanis messed up on their twizzles not once, but twice in both the SD and the FS, which honestly does not compute with me. I just don’t get it, they came out so strong in the GP series a la S/H, but somehow just made uncharacteristic mistakes a la S/H. Barely made it by with a bronze, but that’s definitely not how anyone wanted to see them win it. I’m not that worried about Nationals unless they repeat this hot mess performance again. They were so bummed, you could really tell because usually they always just smile and wave regardless of their scores. Not this time. They’ve truly had rotten luck at the GPF maybe they should just skip it next time LOL (don’t think that works in ice dancing but whatever). I hope this was just a fluke competition and they go back to being strong. C/B at least won the FS and the PCS but they still got 3rd overall among the 3 US teams which hella worries me for nationals but they’re not definitely last, I just have no clue what the hell will happen at US nationals and that worries me kind of.

Mens

I’m okay with this podium but not with their performances. Shoma losing 1st place and Japan’s streak of GPF men titles with a time violation? A time violation?! Nathan messing up in the FS again? It says something that mens had the most acceptable result for me in this entire event. I’m less invested in the results of the mens because it’s so unpredictable that I have 0 expectations of anyone. That’s what makes it the most easygoing competition for me, but somehow it still managed to be disappointing :^)

This competition must be a new record for the sheer amount of all my favorites bombing or making mistakes. All of them, all at this competition. kings and queens of solidarity I suppose. Usually at least one of my faves pulls through to make the event bearable, but not even a shoma-nathan podium can make up for what a disaster this event was. The optimist in me hopes that this is a good sign for my faves; that they’re letting their mistakes go before the Olys. The other part of me wants to ignore the numbers/placements and just enjoy their skating. The other part of me is worried that their reputation judging/pcs is going to be affected by their performances here. The other part of me is just sad that nobody really pulled through, not even those who I thought were dependable. The final part of me wants to skip this season, and every olympic season that follows from hereon out. Nothing good comes out of an olympic season, not since Maosus retired! I’ll enjoy my break from skating after Japanese nationals, and once the Olympics comes back around, my death will be imminent.