#lowkey would write a collaborative fic about this

[sameschmidtdiffname]

I personally choose to believe that the Hunger Games series is supposed to be Katniss's memoir/way of setting the record straight about her and her loved ones part in the Games/war. Meaning I think the entire country of New Panem was going into a FIT with every new chapter they read, let alone book. Just imagine the podcasts for a second.

"SO THE STAR-CROSSED LOVERS OF DISTRICT 12."

"YEAH."

"FATED SOULMATES."

"DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER."

"Role model for all of our relationships, I think it's safe to say."

"Mmhmm."

"It was a SURVIVAL STRAT????"

That baby reveal??? Had the country in SHAMBLES when they realized Peeta was lying. Her editors probably told her to just keep that out and she probably just said "why?? I have actual kids now, it's fine." The tabloids are blowing clear the fuck up all day every day. Peeta's hijacking??? People already knew but they didn't know EVERYTHING. God, those podcasts were LIT.

[gwilin-stay-winnin]

AO3 Twenty Questions

tagged by @ladytanithia. a big thank you, as always!

tagging @inkoherentwriting, @azures-grace and YOU, dear reader

(copy/paste for the questions below the cut)

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

Four, not counting the work I published as a reference list for my OCs.

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

84,627

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Just TES:Skyrim for the moment. Sadly, I haven't been able to play any of the other games just yet.

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm dying for Among the Many Lost Souls to surpass Sought and Found. It was my first venture into longform writing and it shows. Bleh.

5 – Do you respond to comments?

Almost always. If I don't respond, it's usually because I tried my darndest and couldn't think of a constructive or meaningful response.

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The one I'm writing right now :3c (Among the Many Lost Souls). I'm putting Gwilin through the wringer and then I'm gonna hang him out to dry.

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sought and Found, I suppose.

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

No, I don't. I lowkey wish I did. Firstly, because haters can be remarkably perceptive, and, secondly, because I am as interested in what makes someone scrunch up their nose or click away from my fic as I am about hearing people's thoughts on what was well-executed about them. I think my stuff is too niche to really draw a lot of negative attention (right now, at least).

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Always, my man! I consider it my moral duty to make my characters fuck nasty. Why? BECAUSE IT'S HOT DUHHH

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

People who write crossovers scare me so bad. I can barely limp my way through having to structure a plot around already-existing lore and making sure everything that happens in the story is congruent with in-universe rules, meanwhile there are people out there writing Skyrim x The Walking Dead crossovers. It's cocobananas.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. I don't really give a fuck if people steal my shit. Fighting with someone over authorship of a work that is principally riding on the coattails of an existing IP, which can't even be monetized, mind you, feels like a real 'race to the bottom' situation to me. I'm well aware of the quality of my work and I'm proud to have the drive to constantly better my skills. That's all that matters.

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. Though I did start translating Sought and Found into Spanish, I dropped it when I started writing Among the Many Lost Souls. In any case, I would be so, so touched if someone decided to translate a fic of mine.

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

Also nope. Never tried collaborative writing outside of an academic setting. Totally open to it, though!

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

Uh, I'm not real big on shipping existing characters. I mostly just think about my OCs, or my friend's OCs, with each other. Aside from Gwilin x [pretty much every other NPC in Skyrim], I think thoughts about @abstractredd's guys, Hedgrod and Athrar, quite often.

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Fic-related WIP? Just one. I wanted to write another romance fic (like Sought and Found) featuring a netch farmer who's a cowboy-type character. Sexy Dunmer with a southwestern accent. Brokeback Mountain: Morrowind Edition. You get the picture.

I might still finish it, but I'm reluctant to even touch it because I haven't played Morrowind, and would have to do a real deep-dive into everything related to Dunmer in TES lore to write it. I know a lot already, but I never feel like I know enough, y'know?

16 – What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at setting a scene and painting a picture. This is, I think, a new ability I acquired in the past year or so. I've also been told my smut-writing abilities are pretty good, which is always nice to hear :) If I had to list what I consider to be my own strengths, I'd add that I've gotten a lot better at cutting the fat out of my writing (especially from dialogue tags and in describing facial expressions and body language).

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue is a bitch a half for me to write. It's probably the thing I most obsessively tweak before publishing. I think my dialogue tends to fall short.

Pacing is another issue. I often criticize, in other fic author's works, that they present an interesting image or idea and then leave me hungry because they don't elaborate on it, but I am the biggest culprit of this if I don't constantly remind myself that, yes, people want to hear more about this or that. They want you to mystify it, justify it, make it sexy, make it like a puzzle for them to solve. You can't just leave it cut-and-dry, much as my autism compels to do because "It's quite literally saying the same thing". Like, that's great, bestie, but you have to elaborate! Say the same thing just make it sound cooler than it is!

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

This is cool. I don't mind busting out Google Translate to enjoy a fic. That mouse-hovering feature that lets you add alternative text to a fic on ao3 is super useful for this sort of thing.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

My first, and only other, fandom: My Little Pony. I was 12.

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

I love them all for different reasons, BUT Among the Many Souls has blood and sex and drama in it, so yeah. It's in the lead.

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

5 – Do you respond to comments?

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16 – What are your writing strengths?

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

[kats-kradle]

Do you listen to music when you write?

3. Computer or pen and paper?

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

27. Favourite line/scene

36. Last sentence you wrote

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

45. How much world building do you do?

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Answer any one/combination of these that you'd like! I'd love to hear anything you want to share about your stories, friend :)

Thank you friend! 🥰

1. Do you listen to music when you write?  

For writing fanfiction, I don’t really listen to music unless it’s a song that inspired that fic. Then I listen to it in repeat😂😂 When I’m writing my own stuff I tend to listen to a few playlists on YouTube that are like “epic music for writing” or other various playlists that don’t have music with words. I’ve got a few I cycle through depending on the type of scene I’m writing.

3. Computer or pen and paper? 

For fanfiction, the notes app of my phone because I can just do it whenever. When I’m writing my own stuff I use my laptop because its easier for me to think bigger if that makes sense😂😂

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmmm I think the only habit/ritual I really have is that every other time I sit down to write I read through and tweak the last thing I wrote. I know that TECHNICALLY you’re not supposed to edit as you go but it just makes it so much tidier in my brain.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

Honestly if I could collaborate with anyone it would be my older sister. The biggest fan of our original writing is our younger sister and my older sister and I want to write her a story that has two of our characters interacting together (her two favorites). The problem is we can’t find time to plan it since my little sister is always in the house😂😂

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

Oooooo this one is actually tricky😂😂 I think for fanfiction I more enjoy playing around and pushing preexisting dynamics so I don’t think there’s a specific character right now. For my personal writing… oh boy my babies. So far I think it’s Quinn, the snarky and jovial sci-fi pilot/smuggler who’s moral compass points firmly towards money… until children are involved. He also has a British accent. Yes, it is important to his character. He’s one of those characters who feels things very deeply but tries to put on a facade about it. Absolutely delightful to write he’s here for a good time, not for a long time (much to the chagrin of his first officer and close friend whose self appointed job is keeping Quinn alive).

27. Favourite line/scene

Favorite scene I’ve written (this is cheating) is probably my fic Little Talks. It’s a Les Mis Jacert lives and is redeemed fic and it’s got so many good scenes in it that came out even better than I thought they would that I can’t pick one. 

36. Last sentence you wrote

Last line I wrote was from a WIP for Star Trek TNG. It’s a fic where Riker gets deaged by Q and it’s discovered that his father was abusive to him. Because that ep with his father… super dubious parenting and I think someone should address it so what’s fics for besides forcing people to address things? Also of those lowkey vent fics tbh😂

“What you deserved,” Picard said lowly, “was nothing but love from your father, and it pains me to hear that you believe you deserved such abuse from him.” 

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

I’ll give you the backstory for one of my side characters in one of my fantasy stories. His placeholder name is Romeo and he was like the equivalent of a medieval fantasy playboy. A true bard. He broke the heart of a sorceress and she cursed him to be nothing but a skeleton until he learned how to love selflessly. He is AWFUL and I love him. He’s just sour and feral all the time and regularly eggs people on the make bad decisions. Which is objectively hilarious coming from a skeleton.

45. How much world building do you do?

Before I start writing, I like to have done enough world building that I understand the general vibes and structure of the world. This looks different for every story tho tbh. One story I’ve been meticulously building for four years and another I made up as I went along. I guess it’s more accurate for me to say then that I do enough that I can understand the characters’ relationships with the world. I’m very much a “people” writer and focus on the characters more than anything else (like, unfortunately, the plot😭)

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Look at risk of sounding arrogant there are very few of my stories that I do not enjoy rereading, and it’s mostly just the ones I wrote when I was like 15. I am the target audience for all of my stories and I will unashamedly admit that I regularly go to my own AO3 page and read my own fics and go “that was a good one good job me”

Thank you for all the questions friend! Prepare your inbox 😈😈

ask game here

[manchineel-mistress]

thinking about. that yugioh pokemon fusion thats been rattling around in my head. its been a few days.

so like, i know that yugioh and pokemon games have just been a thing. who wouldnt match yugioh, a series about games, with one of the most popular game franchises in the world.

but like, there are very few fics where its yugioh characters who live in a pokemon world. the true pokemon au that yugioh dm deserves.

anyway im a puzzleshipping fiend (im not sorry) so things have been rattling around my brain for a while.

imagine:

atem, the undefeated pokemon champion, took the pokemon training and battling world by storm at a young age, his elite four are rumored to be the toughest that the pokemon world has seen in decades.

yuugi, a young man trying to popularize a new form of bonding/competing with your pokemon through collaborative games rather than head to head battle, who might also be atem’s childhood friend who then got yeeted to another region.

atem goes to visit another region for Pokemon Champ (TM) reasons and ends up running into yuugi’s grandpa’s shop. where yuugi happens to be hosting a demo or small competition for his new pokemon trainer games. idk what to call it. games where people compete with their pokemon but it isnt beating each other up. i think yuugi just doesnt like violence and ends up creating these games because he loves pokemon and bonding with them and games. i also think he should be able to keep his game designer roots in every au, he deserves it.

anyway, atem, who has been bored with pokemon battles lately, ends up joining. only to be faced with his old friend that he hasnt seen in years. and who he has been having a very very hard time forgetting (because pinning idk i just read romance not write it). but chooses to ignore that because yuugi also lowkey doesnt react to him at all. but he has fun! he has fun for the first time in a while! but then he has to leave because of Pokemon Champ Business (TM) and hes sad.

so cue his ace pokemon running away from him because atem has been Not Himself lately. as in being pokemon champion has changed him for the worse because pokemon politics ig??? im just pulling from my memories of “red being champion was not good for him so he runs away to a snowy mountain for years” fics because i feel like that applies. expect instead of running off to a mountain, atem just becomes really mean. and cruel. think s0 vibes. (ignore the fact that s0 atem was not that bad and hes honestly my favorite flavor of atem).

so atem’s ace pokemon have broken into the muoto family shop and yuugi is desperately trying to figure out how to contact atem to get them back. (yes he does rememebr atem, he just thought atem wouldnt care to be his friend again/forgot him, so he didnt really talk to atem during the day). cue um romance! and angst! and drama! and fluff!

idk i really like the canon yuugi-atem character arcs and dynamic. they build each other up and change each other for the better. i want that be come across in that au. even though i basically havent explained anything about it. i just really like the premise i set up for it. (no i probably will never write it, but i like sharing my thoughts). (feel free to write it if you want idk if people care enough for that tho lol).

atem is someone who has lost himself in the bitterness and cutthroat nature of the pokemon competitive battling circle, seeing people mistreat their pokemon and how there is so little of what made pokemon battling fun to him in the first place. and yuugi, who was lowkey ostracized for not being interested in the traditional pokemon battling culture even though he proved to be a really good pokemon trainer and battler, so he found solace in the games his grandpa would send him and share those with his pokemon. which then inspired him to create games that people could play with and along side pokemon, but he never had the confidence to introduce it to anyone past the small town he moved to after his parents’ divorce. (why am i putting all the yuugi backstory in here? idk hes just a kid with divorced parents, so his mom took him back to her home region to live with his maternal grandpa and changed his last name to his mother’s maiden name).

but then atem and yuugi meet again! different than they were as kids (i have more on that but idk where to put it), but nonetheless still them and they want to connect again but scared to reach out. until one stray ace pokemon forces them to connect again. atem is reminded of why he loved pokemon battling in the first place and sees it again in the games that yuugi creates. yuugi finds that confidence he needs to really spread his wings through atem’s influence and encouragement. theyre a dream team fr fr.

anyway final notes that i dont have a place to put:

atem’s elite four are his canon priests, idk how it would work but i think having mahad and mana on there would be hilairous

yuugi’s first pokemon and ace pokemon is a gengar nicknamed yami (as inspired by this post)

i like to think of it as baby yuugi being very lonely in a new region and ends up hanging around some of the more dusty corners of his grandpa’s shop, and then one night a stray ghastly pops by and used its smoke to copy his hair and theyve been inseparable since

yami is also insanely protective of yuugi and scared his bullies off for him, and was very very not happy about a powerful pokemon (atem’s ace pokemon) breaking into the shop to cuddle up with his partner

yami and yuugi definitely have a gengar megastone btw

also yuugi has a garchomp nicknamed gandora whose yami’s second in command. i just love gandora a lot pls understand i adore the idea of yuugi being a little guy who just casually summons Gandora The Dragon Of Destruction on his opponents

atem’s ace pokemon is a ghost type, idk im thinking cofagrigus, because, its fitting

he also has a legendary he can just call upon, it just likes him and atem gives it treats every time it shows up (idk which legendary tho, but giratina could be a fun choice)

the Gang (TM) are yuugi’s friends that he made after he moved to the new region and are fairly wary of atem at first, but like they warm up eventually because yuugi likes him

kaiba is there still, and very rich and techy at that, and also the yuugi’s region’s pokemon champion who constantly challenges atem to pokemon battles and lives in yuugi’s town

i like to think steven stone but kaiba, which is to say rich and still makes his incredibly advanced and insane tech, but also really good at pokemon battling

kaiba also really likes yuugi’s game btw, but he never participates because of his trauma (winning? winning in some lame game? no winning only counts if its in a pokemon battle, thats the only way i can show my worth and validate myself) (no kaiba-kun, you just need therapy and some friends, pls let me be your friend and we can play games together)

yuugi and atem were friends as kids and they bonded over their love of games and pokemon, really yuugi was the one who inspired atem to become a pokemon trainer and atem was the one who inspired yuugi to make games, but then the Divorce (TM) happened

no atem didnt go looking for yuugi, its been like 15 years, yuugi probably has his own life now and doesnt need a reminder from the past probably definitely yeah

i think that atem’s pokemon like yuugi more than they like atem

teehee yes im a sucker for that trope, sue me

yeah i like pokemon aus, so what. no but i think about this every now and then and it gives me serotonin, thus i share with you.

[swampstew]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗(No pressure to do this! 🖤)

Oh thank you anon ~ this is so delightful♥ I think I did something similar before but I will def do it again :) Thank you for spreading some self-love on self-care sunday, I hope you get yourself a treat for being a wonderful bean♥

What’s the Magic Word? - My original self-insert story about a Witch aligned with the Straw Hat Pirates who finds herself temporarily allying with the Kid Pirates in order to reunite with her crew. I felt like a lot of fics I read at the time about Eustass Kid were pretty dark (which I love reading don't get me wrong) but I noticed a lack in stories where a character could be a part of the crew where they weren't coerced or kidnapped by the crew first. So I wanted to take an approach where a character is forced to be with them by outside influences, and how Kid and the crew would react and handle that. Plus it felt fun putting in a type of character that has not been confirmed canon in the series, despite the jokes that Dr. Kureha is a witch, which I lowkey buy but until its confirmed I don't think there are any witch characters full stop. This story is centered between Kid and Rowena and how they spend the 2 year time skip together.

Turn Back Time - This was originally meant to be an reader insert AU where the characters were relatable enough that anyone could envision themselves as the characters, but doing Y/N - especially on a book as long as this one turned out to be - didn't sit well with me and so I gave them names, and after putting so much love and effort into them and their backgrounds, they became more based off my own personal experiences. In fact, Andrea and Candy are loosely based off myself and my childhood best friend! Again, I wanted to take a different approach on how Kid and the Kid Pirates interact with people who don't mock or insult them, and now this story is more about what it would be like to be on the crew itself, in addition to the romantic relationships between the OCs and the crew. It has been a lot of fun not only bringing these OCs to life, but also bringing the crew itself to life - even if most of how I write them is entirely based on personal headcanons, I do my best to align each character up to as much canon information as we get from them.

At First Sight - this was a one shot that turned into a mini-series and I surprised myself with how much I packed into it. Originally a stand-alone porn trope collaboration story, I've put a lot of love into this one to create a fun story where the reader is the main character and the reader gets to learn who they really are at the same pace as the Kid Pirates. This is a story where the reader gets to meet and sail with the Kid Pirates under amicable circumstances but its not without tension, angst, smut, and violence. My first Y/N story that is 2 chapters away from completion!!

KillerCook - I saw a hot dude make brownies on Instagram and thought ‘what if Killer.’ That’s it. I feel like I managed to create an authentic social media experience that readers can visualize as they read, and I think that's neat! Plus its fun to see the crew in a modern setting just hanging out and doing fun things. Plus plus, I felt like Killer really deserved his own fic♥

Captain_CumShot - I'll be honest, I've never used OnlyFans so this was a real shot in the dark but I'm grateful to my beloved mutual (idk if you wanted to be tagged in this but you know who you are) who was able to guide me so I could create another modern social media fic that was true to how a real OF account experience would feel like. This fic is 100% to sexualize the Captain of the Kid Pirates because he would irl undoubtedly have an account where all he has to do is show dick and get paid for it. Easy money, easy life!

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Get to know your fic writer numbers: 2, 10, 16, 32, and 55

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go? 

I’m very firmly on the “planner” end of the “planner vs. pantser” spectrum. My multichapter fics all have an outline in a separate doc. It doesn’t have to be super detailed and I’ll also deviate from it if I notice that something isn’t working out as planned. But I do need to have a general idea on where the story is going, how it’s supposed to end and how I wanna get there, or I’ll give myself anxiety attacks. I actually wrote and published the first chapter of Hic sunt dracones without having a complete plot outline down and I nearly peed myself until I figured it out. 🤣

10. Cltr + f “blinks” on your WIP &  copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

The kid is babbling excitedly, but Steve can't make out a word over the deafening roar of his own blood in his ears, needs to swallow and blink violently to focus. 

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Besides Hic sunt dracones, I’m currently working on my fic for the Steddie Big Bang, which I obviously can’t talk about yet. 😏 Apart from that, my To Write list contains four ideas right now, which are in various stages of being fleshed out. 

One of them is a modern AU in which Steve owns a restaurant and tries to seduce Eddie through food. Eddie, who thinks that putting grated cheese on top of your SpaghettiOs is haute cuisine. Or, alternatively: Steve soft doms Eddie into basic self care. (It would most probably be Eddie’s pov, which is a first for me, so I’m a bit nervous about it.)

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers. 

That’s a tough one. There’s so many amazing fics by so many incredibly talented writers out there and I don’t get around to reading half as much as I wanna in the little free time I have. That being said … 

Azriel Green's fame is well deserved. I’m pretty sure You’re Divine changed me on a spiritual level. I am always awed and humbled by how they use language to build scenes and atmosphere. 

Ayes comes up with the most mindblowing AUs, their writing style is absolutely beautiful and the stunning art collaboration with itskleo is the cherry on top of the sundae, really. 

Gorgeousgreymatter writes the most wonderful stuff at incredible speed and their smut is what I aspire to, honestly. They are also an incredibly cool person who I am proud and happy to be friends with. I legit died the first time they told me that they liked my writing. 😭

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? 

Listen, there’s a reason why I have churned out over 150,000 words worth of Steddie fanfic and (almost) all of it in the same pov. Steve Harrington is my little emotional support blorbo. I relate to him on so many levels. I too, am perpetually stressed and lowkey annoyed, as well as a chronic people pleaser who puts others before myself, so most of the time, his perspective comes real easy to me.

Apart from that, Robin Buckley is my spirit animal and I squeal every time somebody tells me that they like my take on her.  

And, obviously, I'm beyond thrilled that ppl are liking my dragon!Eddie so much. 😏🐉

[viastro]

Hi! I’m lowkey v nervous writing this but-

You are honestly my favorite caratdeobi author and I cannot stress it ENOUGH how much I genuinely love your writing and I’m so glad to be an OG of your blog LOLOL I have kept up with your work and have read each one religiously cause they for real feel like they’re made with such care and love and they evoke such emotion in me that I can’t achieve in my day to day life rip :,)

Confession time tho, I actually took a break from reading fics for about a year/year and a half but when I came back I was a freshly turned deobi and ate all your TBZ fics UPPPPP I was so happy esp since it seems like there isn’t as many tbz fics on tumblr as I thought there would be 😔 (if you have some recs then pls lmk!)

Idk why I’m just saying this now but your blog will always be near and dear to my heart and I am always looking forward to crying, kicking my feet, laughing or getting heart palpitations from your next fic so THANK YOU for being such an amazing writer and for sharing your works with us 🥺 I hope this blog never disappears or gets taken over by a bot during one of my fic breaks cause that will devastate me to no end 😭

All in all, (tried to conclude this like 3 times now JEEZ) I hope that you always feel loved and appreciated and never forget how someone out there (me) will never stop loving your works! If there is a million viastro stans, I’m one of them. If there’s 500 viastro stans, I’m one of them. If there’s 5 viastro stans, I’m one of them. If there’s 1 viastro stan, that’s me. If there’s no viastro stan (impossible), then that means I’m dead.

KK LOVE YA LOTS BYEEEEEE TIME TO READ YOUR WHOLE ML AGAIN 🤭

i. tears. so many tears.

the first time i read this ask, i stared at it with my mouth agape because i honestly had no words. the second time i read this ask, tears immediately flooded my eyes omg...

i wish i could hug you through the screen i'm like. i don't even think my response to your ask would be SUFFICIENT or properly show my GRATITUDE... like i'm just in disbelief that you like my fics so much to have you write me such a sweet message like this :,))) thank you so much omg...

i don't have many recs for tbz fics but my soulmate @sunlightwoo has a masterlist FULL of her own tbz fics!! you might've already read her stuff since her and i are always collaborating but :,))) i also only have a couple of other deobi mutuals.. but i love their fics so here:

@changminurheart

@sankyeom

i PROMISE that even if the day comes where i stop writing (won't be for a while i hope...) i'll keep this acc up for everyone who enjoyed my fics <333

but AAAAA honestly thank you so much for the love. it means the world to me, and i'm still kinda in disbelief that you've been on this journey with me for so long... even when you had a break you STILL came back i just :,))) thank you omg.. thankyouthankyou

but i LOVE YOU <333 if you're comfortable then please dm me and let's be friends !! i'll do my best to release this one long ass fic i've been working on soon LMAO but thank you again for the love and support <3

[4everhyucks]

I posted 53 times in 2022

22 posts created (42%)

31 posts reblogged (58%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mrkis

@astraluvs

@smileysuh

@tinted-peaches

@xiadeptus

I tagged 52 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#fic recs - 17 posts

#vv talks - 11 posts

#mailbox - 10 posts

#jellymoonbear - 7 posts

#rb - 7 posts

#jaehaswhore - 4 posts

#jaemin smut - 3 posts

#schoolsout!collab - 2 posts

#loving jelly hours. - 2 posts

#vv’s loves¡ - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 62 characters

#i imagined childe staring down at thoma a little more hot-ly..

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

and youre an nctzen too ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

yes. i. am. my top three are jaehyun jaemin and lucas 😚

2 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#4

im so h-word for mark its not funny anymore

3 notes - Posted December 22, 2022

#3

yuta nakamoto. thats it.

9 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

#2

TGIF — thank god its friday (M)

pairing fratboy!childe x fem!reader (ft. fratboy!thoma)

cw readers insert, smut, slight angst and fluff if you squint, dacryphilia, overstimulation, drunk sex, virgin!reader, virginity loss, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it), manhandling, rough sex, fingering, orgasm denial, mentions of having a baby

wc 3.5k

synopsis you transfer to a new school to stop your old habits, but you find yourself repeating the same mistakes, meeting someone new along the way.

a/n this is my part of @astraluvs schoolsout!collab, its my first time joining a collaboration and its also my first time attempting to write something THIS LONG.. lowkey disappointed at childes persona in here bc i originally wanted him to be more of a player, i was so tempted into changing this to a threesome *sigh* anyhow, i hope yall enjoy this fic!!

navi

The whole point of you transferring to a new university in the first place was to stop hanging with your group of friends, they were bad influence you thought. Never studying, always partying. It was them who came up to you after classes, encouraging you to join them almost every night, getting all drunk and not being able to focus in class in the morning. Your grades kept slipping, from being a straight-A student to someone who fails at almost all their classes. Both your parents and teachers were extremely disappointed in you. Of course you were disappointed in yourself too, wondering what was going to happen to your future if this goes on. At some point, you decided to cut them off and start a new life, burying your old one. You soon realise that not one of them tried contacting you, it hurt knowing you weren’t anything important but you were grateful since it was easier for you to forget about them. It hasn’t even been a month since you transferred, and yet here you are. In a house full of people you barely knew. How could you have let this happen? You tried searching for your friends who brought you to this party but they were out of your line of sight, nowhere to be seen. Deep down you knew they weren’t truly your friends, ‘the more the merrier’, that’s what they all say. Perhaps it was you who really wanted to come in the first place. Hoping someone would drag you to some random ass house so you could use that as an excuse.

Maybe I shouldn’t have came here, you thought to yourself. Sighing, you took a few steps back, accidentally bumping into someone before you even got the chance to leave. “Woah there,” you stumbled, back leaning against the person who held onto your shoulder. You straightened your way-too-short dress, turning around to apologise, holy fuck he’s tall, and hot. You were called tall throughout your entire life but you still had to tilt your head up in order to take a good look at him. He’s got ocean-like eyes peeking through his curly ginger hair. He was holding a solo cup in his other hand. Oh his fingers are pretty too.. “Hey you alright?” The ginger lowered his head to make direct eye contact with you. His face coming in way too close, to the point where your noses almost touched. You could feel your face burning up, it was as if you were drunk even though you have not had a single sip of alcohol. “Huh? Oh- yeah no, i’m fine,” you spat out a bunch of words while waving your arms around, “sorry, didn’t see you behind me. I was just about to- uhm, ‘bouta leave,” pointing towards the door. You mentally punched yourself in the face for acting weirdly, the awkward waving of arms and your dumb stuttering. You were starting to think you might’ve given him the worst first impression humankind could ever possibly offer.

You spot his small smirk as he stood up straight, it wasn’t obvious though. “Leaving already? The party just started,” he stated, “can’t have a pretty lady like you walking out the door tonight.” You let out a soft laugh, “I would love to stay, but there’s a quiz on Monday and I must get a good grade.”

“It’s a Friday, let loose!” He snickers, “You here alone?” Let’s be real, you really had to rush home and study, that was the initial plan. But it wasn’t everyday that an extraordinarily attractive male spikes up a conversation with you. You’re such a sucker for good looks. You replied, “nope, I came with some of my uhh friends?” Slanting your head to the right, “but I lost them.” He slightly nods his head while keeping his gaze on you, you broke eye contact a couple of times but he kept staring non-stop. You weren’t uncomfortable though, you were just blushing awfully much. Did that even make any sense?

“Oh right. I didn’t quite catch your name, I’m Ajax.” He flashes you a smile. If that wasn’t the most captivating smile ever, gosh even his name was sexy. Ajax.. you’ve never heard of such a name, it’s really unique. Fits him really well too, like it was made for him and him only. You giggle and told him your name. “Mmm, pretty name you got there,” he says as he gulps down the rest of his beer. “Could say the same about you, Ajax.” You counter, flipping your hair behind your shoulder. All of a sudden, you remembered that you were supposed to be in your room studying your ass off. Whilst debating if you should head home or stay, a voice called out for the person in front of you, “Ajax! Wanna join us?” Ajax hits them with a confused expression. “Beer pong you idiot!” A guy with blonde hair snaps at him. Ajax raised his arm telling the blonde to give him a minute before he turns to look at you, “team up with me.”

“Me?” Pointing your index finger towards yourself. “Yeah you, who else?” He chuckles. Ajax thought you were cute since the moment you bumped into him, the way your eyes wander around because you somehow get shy from just looking at him. The way you said you had to rush home yet you remained talking to him, answering all his questions. He genuinely wanted you to stay. Ajax doesn’t always enjoy parties even though he’s one of the hosts. He was always in the spotlight, girls fawning over him 24/7. The guys wanting to be a part of his friend group so they could be labelled as one of them. Eventually, he got tired of that and stayed in his room most of the time. He sort of knew that you were new because you didn’t know who he was. I mean we are talking about Ajax here, centre of the crowd? Yeah you get the gist. He was surprised you have not indicated that you wanted him sexually as majority of the females he met in the house always wanted to have a taste of him right off the bat. Not that you knew.

To be honest, he was right. It’s a Friday and you were going to be very, very free for the next two days. “Alright,” you mumble, giving in. “Now we’re talkin’,” Ajax slides his arm around your waist and pulls you towards the table. He introduces you to the two guys who were going to be playing with you, the blonde — Thoma, and a tall guy with light blue hair — Ayato. “Oh wow, Ajax teaming up with a girl?” Ayato chuckles whilst raising his eyebrows, shocked since he’s never seen the ginger being social since forever. “Ya know how to play the game pretty?” Thoma winks at you, throwing a ping pong ball up and catching it. “Yeah,” you nod your head, “i’m a lil rusty though.” You thought they were both quite attractive and friendly, just like Ajax, but you failed to notice the dirty looks Thoma and Ayato were exchanging in between each other. Both eyeing you up and down but immediately stops after realising Ajax has been glaring at them.

The game starts off with Ajax throwing a ball into a cup, it bounces out and lands in another. “Drink up.” He says. The opposite team each grabbing a cup, gulping down the contents. It was really impressive at how good he was at beer pong. You jump a little whenever Ajax gets the ball in, but you got a bit too excited during his fifth throw and accidentally hit his arm, causing him to break his streak. “Ah i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“All good princess, we’re winning.” Ajax utters, giving you a light pat on the head. You could feel butterflies in your tummy, who wouldn’t. He probably said that because he was comfortable with you, he does this to everyone, you thought. Seeing how easily he calls you by the pet name, you assume it was a habit of his. You weren’t special. Trying to cancel the thought out of your head, Ayato got one in and you drank from the cup. The game ended with you as the last throw, “We won!” You turn to Ajax, high-fiving him with both hands. He snickers, “nice throw.” Thoma downs the drink. Smiling, he leans on the table, “good game, you lied about being rusty didn’t you.” You laughed at him, shrugging your shoulders. “Maybe I did! Well that was fun, but I desperately need to know where the bathroom is right now,” fanning yourself, you tug the top of your dress due to the heat circulating in you. Not aware of the stares on your exposed cleavage. You look up at Ajax who is now taking off his varsity jacket, forcing it onto you, zipping it up. “Ajax, it’s so damn hot.” Before you had the chance to ask about his actions, he shoos you away. “Toilet’s upstairs, end of the hallway, on the left. I’m gonna go take a smoke.” As you were about to leave, you hear him say: keep the jacket on.

“You saw the way Ajax was lookin’ at her right?” Thoma speaks, cleaning up the table. “Seein’ how he’s keepin’ her all to himself, bet she’s real good in bed.”

“Twenty dollars if you’re the one fucking her instead of Ajax tonight.” Ayato snickers.

“Twenty?” Thoma says, “make it fifty.”

“Deal.”

You glance at the jacket through the mirror. Still very confused on why he told you to keep the jacket on. You were all sweaty so you decided to unzip it instead. You came out of the toilet after cleaning yourself up, walking down the stairs to find Ajax. You roamed around aimlessly in the backyard until you saw him on the phone, talking to someone.

“You should sleep earlier, it’s not good for your health,” taking a puff out of his cigarette. “Yeah, love you too. Goodnight.” He smiles as he ends the call.

Love you too? So he does have a girlfriend, all that sweet talking down the drain. You sigh, boys will be boys. You didn’t understand why you were mad, he wasn’t your boyfriend and you definitely do not have a crush on him. So why? Maybe you were attached to him even though you just met him. Ajax disposes his cig on the ground and steps on it. “Oh y/n, why’re you out?”

“To return you your jacket,” you reply, taking off the jacket and shoving it in his chest. Without saying another word, you walked back into the house. Leaving Ajax dumbfounded in the backyard. You wanted to leave but you would rather get drunk and laid. You grab a beer from the counter, chugging down the entire can. Throwing away the empty can, you spot Thoma waving you over, “You okay?” He asks, concerned about you. “I wish I was,” you mumble softly. Thoma figures something happened between you and Ajax. “A bunch of my friends wanted to play truth or dare, you in?”

You have lost track of time, forgetting where you left your phone at. Now you’re following Thoma up the stairs, into a room with both alcohol and laughter. “Get off my fuckin’ bed.” Thoma orders right when he steps into the room, his room. He said that to Ayato who was on the bed making out with some girl. The scene made your cunt flutter a little. Thinking back to the last time you had sex, which was never. Yeah. You are a virgin at your age. For someone who goes to clubs and parties a lot, this was embarrassing news. It wasn’t as if you wanted to save it for someone you love. You were just picky with men. You were also scared of doing it, though you were always horny to get dicked down. After a while of chattering, everyone in the room sat in a circle. Some of them sitting close together, some lying down on their stomach. “C’mere,” Thoma pats the spot right in the middle of this legs. You were hesitant but sat down anyways.

“Right then, rules are that if you can’t speak the truth or do the dare, you drink.” A girl with gorgeous brown hair states.

“Hu Tao sit your ass down, i’m starting.” A pink haired girl complains. “Okay, let’s see.. Ayato!”

“Truth. You suck at giving truths Yanfei.” Ayato replies.

“No I dont! But is it true that you’re gay..?” While their conversations were going on, you body jolts when Thoma rests his hands on your thigh. Dangerously close to your red zone, but you ignored it for the time being. You didn’t know the people in the room except for Thoma and Ayato, so being fully honest, it’s boring. Eventually, Thoma’s name got brought up.

“Dare.” Thoma shifts his body closer to yours, his fingers now playing with the hem of your dress. You could feel yourself heating up, unsure if it was because of the alcohol or if you were getting needy. Your brain was starting to get tired and dizzy.

See the full post

641 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

cw: size kink

thinking about itto trying to fit his unimaginable huge cock into your tight cunt. him stretching you out while his fingernails are sinking into your hips. “i-itto,” you say as you place a hand on his lower stomach, trying to push him away, “wont fit, ‘s too big.” you hear him chuckle, “don’t worry, i’ll make it fit.” tears filling up your eyes as you feel him thrust his entire length into you, “fuck.. you’re so tight.” itto whispering how good it feels being inside of you while kissing you deeply. no words coming from your lips except choking sobs and your pretty moans.

757 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jinpanman]

It's You

pairing: hoseok x fem. reader (+ lowkey yoonjimin)

word count: 14k

genre: pg15, fluff, friends to lovers au, teacher au, coworkers au

warnings: a lot of awkwardness, excessive blushing, drinking, some non-explicit nsfw (dirty thoughts, brief mention of boners, hoseok blurts out wanting to put babies in you😌)

synopsis: An accidental confession throws your years-long friendship with Hoseok into disarray.

a/n: my first finished fic in 2 years!!!!! WOW. from what started out as a literal dream months ago to a 3k monster of illegible scribbles to a 9k mess to this. thank you to the BSH members for being amazing and helpful and oh so wonderful. thank you to Connee @writerly-love​ for being so lovely and encouraging uwu she writes so check her out y’all 💖 and the biggest BIGGEST thank you to my beta reader Melissa @hauntedlilies​ for doing me the biggest solid and helping me with 31982 things in this fic. you have been the best help and your advice and commentary is invaluable to me. thank you for encouraging me and thank you for loving my idiot characters! she draws and writes btw. check her out!!💖 i hope you enjoy this story, dearest reader 🥺🌱 (edited 05/2021)

yoonjimin drabble: It’s You 2.0

Is it normal to be so endeared watching your students jumping with excitement around your colleague?

You love your students, you do. Why else would you have become an after school teacher?  Sometimes, though, there are days when you’re scrambling to come up with an activity hours before the kids flock in from their day class. It’s tiring to always have to be on your toes in order to meet the needs of your students—which change at the switch of a light every day!—but it’s a welcome weight in your life. 

You’re thankful that you don’t have to do it all on your own. Every other week you collaborate with other teachers at the school to foster friendship and camaraderie outside of your student’s usual age range. Today your class is combined with Hoseok’s, and they are all too excited to see their favorite Mr. Hobi. Not that you blame them.

Hoseok claps his hands, drawing the attention of your students whose loud chatter lowers to a hum, albeit still excited. The students flock to him like little ducklings to their mama and you absolutely cannot help but giggle at the sight. He has such a natural chemistry with children and choosing a life as an educator fits him so well. 

Your eyes wander to where your colleague is situated in front of the class. He instructs the students to raise their hands along with him and together they stretch for a good minute. His face is scrunched in a goofy smile as his head tilts, causing his glasses to slip down his nose. Would he mind if you walked over to fix his glasses?

The herbal tea he brought you before class warms your hands as you stand in the back to observe. The steam from the cup brings out a lovely smell of peppermint which you inhale happily. Despite being a strong advocate for coffee and knowing next to nothing about tea, he somehow knew the exact type of tea you liked to drink. You take a long sip and listen to him entice the children with one last hour of fun before they have to go home.

“Okay kids! Today we’re gonna make the ground really pretty for everyone to see tomorrow morning! What do you say?”

They all cheer and he directs them to stand in two orderly lines in front of either of you by the front door while he hands you a bag filled with chalk sticks of varying colors. You raise your brows in curiosity.

“Last minute decision?”

He scoffs and hands a chalk piece to the next student in line.

“No!” You raise a brow at him and he sighs in resignation. “Fine, yes. But no one needs to know that, okay?”

You both laugh in complete understanding of the teacher struggles. Oh, the simple life of a child; so easily amused by a little piece of chalk.

“Teacher, teacher! Come look!”

One student pulls you away from your bad attempt at a portrait of Grumpy Cat, the greatest cat to have walked the earth. You walk over her and she points out something she drew on the cement.

“Look! It’s you and Mr. Hobi!” she exclaims in excitement while jumping up and down.

Sure enough there are two clumsily drawn stick figures. You assume the one with glasses is Hoseok since he’s donned a pair of round glasses today, paired nicely with his red flannel. You applaud her artwork, thanking her for drawing you so nicely, when another student comes up from behind you and squints at their peer’s drawing.

“That looks like Mr. Hobi and his girlfriend!” they say.

“No! That’s not his girlfriend. That’s Ms. Y/N!” she stomps in defiance.

The two students argue until they both yell for Hoseok to come over. Their loud commotion gains many of the other student’s attention and they all seem to watch on with curiosity. He casts a puzzled look at your direction to which you shrug, not entirely sure what your students are trying to prove. When he’s standing beside you they both shoot rapid fire questions.

“Mr. Hobi, who does this look like?”

“No, no! Mr. Hobi, who do you think these are?”

“Do they look like you and Ms. Y/N?”

“No, do they look like you and your girlfriend?”

“Do you even have a girlfriend?”

The other students have somehow flocked around you during this squabble. They giggle and you hear a unison of audible gasps in approval and join in on the questioning.

“Yeah! Do you? Do you?”

Hoseok stands there like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing what to do. His eyes flicker over to you, silently begging for help. Both your students are normally well behaved and usually do well not to ask personal questions about information you don’t voluntarily share. You can’t fault them for forgetting to be polite in the heat of the moment. They are children, after all, so you do your best to redirect them.

“Hey hey, why don’t we let Mr. Hobi speak before you ask any more questions, okay? Remember what Mr. Slug says?” 

They slouch over and robotically recite Mr. Slug’s motto about letting other people take a turn to talk but their eyes still glimmer with hope. It’s clear Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. As much as you want to laugh at his skittish stance, you know it won’t do to leave your fellow teacher hanging. The laughs can come later when the kids are gone.

“Alright, kids why don’t we—” You start to change the subject to shift their attention elsewhere when a student behind you speaks up.

“Ms. Y/N you have to help us!”

The other students join in and echo the plea to find out who Mr. Hobi’s secret girlfriend is. You cup your hands around your face so no one can see you mouthing to Hoseok—earning several groans from your students—and exchange silent communication with him. The easy smile on his face tells you that it’s okay to humor your students today, so you begin to laugh with your students and egg him on.

“Mr. Hobi, please, please, will you tell us?” you ask, putting on a half hearted puppy face and clasp your hands together to appease your students.

You swallow back a snicker at how his face morphs into embarrassment. So maybe this isn’t what he thought you’d pull, but his reaction was worth it. You tease him and poke at his reddening cheeks.

“Ahh, you don’t need to do that,” he mumbles from his pouty lips.

You pull away before he can snatch your hands. Your students laugh at your antics and chant “Mr. Hobi has a cruuush!” You chant along with them in good fun, giggling at your friend’s increasingly flushed face. He seems to finally find his senses and holds his hands up in defeat.

“Alright, alright! Calm down and I’ll tell you who she is.”

The students jump in place, cheering for their victory. His gaze lingers on you, but you think nothing of it, instead donning a shit eating grin. The children waddle in even closer, eager to hear what he has to say.

“Okay, well she’s this really, really pretty lady who likes cats a lot.”

“Ooh, like Ms. Y/N’s cat she drew?” one student interrupts and points to the striped cat you have yet to finish.

“Mhm! Just like her cat.”

“What else? What else?”

“She also doesn’t like coffee at all and makes fun of me for drinking it.” You raise your eyebrows and nod your head in approval. Whoever this lady is, you like her already.

“What does coffee taste like?”

It’s clear he didn’t expect that question and fumbles with trying to explain what coffee is to five and six year olds. You rub at your cheeks, aching from having been smiling for so long. It’s impossible not to smile when you’re around Hoseok. Simply being near him has always been enough to get you to smile.

“Tell us more about your girlfriend please!”

You hadn’t expected them to still be after that and you laugh at their boldness.

“Yeah, c’mon. Who’s this secret lady who hates coffee as much as I do?” you ask cheekily.

“Ah,” he looks away and scratches at his nose. “Well she’s—” 

Just as he’s about to reveal more about this mystery woman, the dismissal bell rings. He clicks his tongue and cackles at the disappointed faces all around him.

“Oh well! Guess you’ll have to wait ‘til next time, kids. Let’s get back to class.”

The students moan and groan but they comply and head back to the classroom to be picked up and go home.

It’s become routine to walk out to your cars together any time your classes are paired. Today is no different. Hoseok waits for you by the door, hair tousled from running after students and long sleeves rolled up his arm, revealing a black watch wrapped around his delicate wrist. As he fiddles with his phone, the rings on his fingers glint under the afternoon rays that sneak through the classroom door sidelight.

“You took your glasses off,” you nod your head at the glasses now tucked inside his shirt pocket. “They looked good on you.”

“Ha. Nice as they are, wearing glasses for too long hurts my ears.”

“Aw, poor baby,” you coo and reach forward to rub his ears. 

He grumbles and swats your hand away. He pushes open the door and motions for you to go first. You think back to the earlier fiasco with the children and wonder how is he still single? Having known him for many years prior to working together, you remember many interested suitors, both men and women alike, trying their hand at wooing him. You can’t think of a single person who doesn’t like him, or at least have a begrudging respect for him.

Outside of your job, you also know he’s the life of the party when you meet up with your friends. Your mind briefly wanders to what it would look like if you were coupled with him. Maybe you’d drive home together and wind down after a long day at work. Then you’d change out of your work clothes, cook a meal together and dance while you’re waiting, maybe even cuddle in bed together until you fall asleep. You’re thinking dangerous thoughts and you take a mental note to chastise your inner conscience when you’re alone.

“So,” you clear your throat and pretend like you hadn’t just imagined a particular fantasy about the man walking beside you, “since the kids brought it up, now I’m actually really curious.”

“Oh man, not you too,” he groans and rubs a hand over his face.

“Hoseok, come on! We’ve been friends for years now and you know what, I don’t remember you ever dating? At least not seriously. Is there anyone you’re interested in these days?” You see the hesitance on his face but you press on. “You know me, Hobi. You know I won’t tell anyone. Not even Yoonji.”

Yoonji, half of the reason why you and he are friends in the first place. The other half being her twin brother, Yoongi. You met Yoonji in your first year of university, and through her you met the crazy bunch you now call your friends. Hoseok and Yoongi had been friends long before college. Once you and Hoseok became acquainted through the twins, you’d bonded over the mutual suffering dealt by them. It had been easy to get along with him, and it didn’t take long at all to move up from acquaintances to friends. You were more than happy when you found out you both had been hired and placed at the same school after university.

He shakes his head at your request. “Nah, you wouldn’t know her anyway.”

“Okay, see! So there’s no problem in me knowing! ‘Cause I don’t know her.” You bump shoulders with him and tug at his arm. “Look, if you really don’t want to tell me, I’ll drop it. I promise. But I really am curious about the person who’s stolen Mr. Hobi’s heart.”

You’ve stopped in front of his car and now there’s nothing to distract him from your pleading face. You do your best not to look like a wide-eyed crazed cat lady and more like the pleading Puss in Boots. You hope it’s working.

“You really wanna know?”

“I do! But only if you’re comfortable telling me.”

“Promise you won’t run away when you find out?”

You’re puzzled by the shift in his demeanor, in the way his voice has dropped to nearly a whisper, but you nod anyway and extend your pinky finger out to him. He brings up his hand to wrap his pinky around yours. You’re taken aback by how seriously he’s taking this, but you wouldn’t do anything to betray his trust. He waits for a few seconds, then nods, seemingly satisfied and stuffs his hands inside his jean pockets.

His eyes are downcast and with a heavy exhale he says quietly, “It’s you.”

You blink. Then you laugh. And you can’t stop laughing. The nervous energy rolls off of you in peals of inappropriate laughter. It isn’t until you see he’s frowning—an expression that doesn’t cross his face often—that you try to reign in your nerves and calm down. 

“You got jokes Hoseok!” you say, trying to lighten the sudden sour mood.

“I’m not trying to be funny. I—I like you.”

Your residual giggling immediately subsides when you realize he really is serious. A wave of confusing emotions wash over you. You’re shocked, you’re confused, and you’re in denial. This can’t be happening. Your mouth opens and closes repeatedly as your brain flips through your dictionary of words to try to understand what you’ve just heard.

Frustration spills out of his lips when you remain mute. “It’s you! I want you! It’s been you for years. Is that not what you wanted to hear? Are you satisfied now that you know?”

Wait. What? 

Your mind still hasn’t caught up and all you can do is stare at him. You catch a quiet "fuck” escaping his lips as he roughly rakes his fingers through his already messed hair. He gives you one last glance before he dashes into his car. Seeing him leave finally gets your tongue working.

“Wait.” You try to grab his arm but he’s already shut the car door. “Wait Hobi, I—I’m sorry. No, no wait please!”

He drives off without a single glance back.

You have never felt like the shittiest person to exist on this planet until now. You survey the lot to make sure no one witnessed this scene and are relieved to find no one. You scurry into your car, forcing back the hot tears that want to come out. 

You don’t deserve to cry after being so cruel. Even if it was unintentional. You scramble for your phone as soon as you’re strapped in. The screen immediately unlocks once your face is in view and you swipe on your best friend’s number starred at the top of your contacts list.

Yoonji picks up after the third ring and her voice drawls out through the speaker, “Did Hobi finally spill the beans, ‘cause thank fucking god.“

You briefly register that you can hear Yoongi in the background talking to another man whose distressed voice sounds vaguely familiar. Blinking your tears away, it takes a second for Yoonji’s words to sink in and you are, for the second time today, at a loss for words. You’re out of the parking lot when your voice finds itself but your brain has yet to catch up, still stuck on those three words that came out of Hoseok’s mouth.

"Wait, wait, wait. Yoonji. You knew? About him? But—wait. How did you—why didn’t you know—er, tell me?” Your free hand flies wildly in the air as you drive.

“He’s not exactly subtle about his feelings for you, you know. Do you not remember last month when you complained about wanting milk tea and he immediately dropped everything to personally drive to a shop 10 minutes away to get you one—a large one, might I add!—with ‘for miss beautiful’ written on the side of the cup?” 

“He does that for everyone,” you mumble into your phone.

“No he does not. You’re just a dumb squirrel and apparently he’s attracted to dumb squirrels.” You don’t need to see her to know she’s pacing mid rant and examining her freshly manicured nails like the princess she is. You wish you knew how she had the funds and time to repaint her nails every other week.

“How come I never noticed?” you ask, pointedly ignoring the squirrel jab.

“Again, you’re a dumb squirrel—”

“What am I gonna do? I didn’t mean to make him feel bad about confessing to me. I feel like such an ass,” you whine into your phone, once again ignoring her insult. You roll your eyes at the fake sounds of her humming in thought. She enjoys making you antsy beyond belief way too much.

“Yoonji! Stop teasing me please!” Your face contorts into the best puppy face you could muster, and you’re sure the driver next to you is giving you a weird look.

“Ew, gross. I can feel your puppy eyes on me 70 miles away. Stop it.”

Worth it.

“Well first of all,” she begins, “you were an ass. How would you feel if you confessed to someone and the first thing they do is laugh? That was shitty of you, babe!”

If you weren’t driving, you would have hung your head in shame. “Yeah, I know…”

“Mhm. At least you know.” As much as she loves you, Hoseok’s her friend too. You don’t blame her for not comforting you. “Anyway, you could go about this several ways. One, let him down easy. Or two, open your eyes and realize you feel the same way. Or three, avoid him for the rest of your life and run away to a convent to make certain you’ll never see him again.”

You whine again, just as pathetically as the first time. “You’re not helping! Those are all impossible!”

“Fine, fine.” She sighs into the phone. “So answer this for me then. Do you like him?”

And that there is the million dollar question. Do you like him? You’ve never given yourself the luxury of seeing him in that way. He was obviously a very attractive man with an equally captivating personality. Yes, he may have made your heart flutter at least a dozen times in the time you’ve known him. Okay, so maybe more than a dozen… 

And yes, you may have indulged in one or two fantasies about what it would be like to date him but you never allowed your mind to wander farther than a few innocent thoughts. You valued your friendship with him far too much to divulge in selfish daydreams. You reveal as much to your friend.

“Babe, all I can tell you is that knowing Hoseok, he’s probably at home wallowing in despair and embarrassment and will probably hate himself for making you uncomfortable. Aaand drinking himself silly because he’s stupid.” 

You hear Yoongi snort in the background.

“B-but I’m not—”

“So go tell him yourself then!”

“Ah Yoonjiii..” you whine... again.

“Figure it out, bitch! I gotta finish painting my nails now. Love youuu!” She hangs up before you can wail her name once more and you’re left to stew in your feelings for the rest of the evening.

The following day, Hoseok doesn’t show up for work. Or the next. By the third day, you’re tempted to ask your supervisor if he still even works here. Okay, so maybe you’re overreacting a little bit. Maybe Yoongi would know if he was still alive, but then he’d pry into why you’re asking in the first place and you’re not ready to answer any questions. 

You’ve just gotten home and your shoulders droop heavily. You have yet to receive any news or texts from Hoseok since he left you in the parking lot that day. It didn’t help that the kids were exceptionally testy today.

Your mind is riddled with worry, but rather than for yourself, you worry about him. Actually if you’re being honest, you’ve been thinking about him endlessly since then. You hope he’s taking care of himself. You want to apologize. You need to apologize. This realization is what helps you to make your decision. 

With a sudden blaze of courage, you grab your purse off the couch and head out to the bus stop just a street down your place. It takes about thirty minutes with one bus transfer that leads you directly to his apartment complex. You’ve been there many times and while you know the route by heart, this visit feels like a whole new experience.

Your feet know exactly where to go and how many steps to take, leading you out the bus, into the apartment complex, and up the elevator until you’re standing in front of his door. You stare at his door and a brief flash of doubt rings alarms in your head. You ring the bell before you can overthink your actions. A few seconds later his voice chimes out from the speaker box.

“Who is it?” 

His voice sounds very tired. Has he not been sleeping well?

“Hello?” He tries again.

You lightly slap your cheeks, bringing yourself back. You weren’t even aware you had frozen up.

“Hey, it’s me. Um, Y/N.”

No answer.

"Can we—can we talk?”

Again, you are met with silence.

Your fingers twiddle with the hem of your shirt, unsure of your next move. You came all the way here on complete impulse. You don’t do well when you don’t have a plan. And right now, you have no plan, which is ironic, considering you’re a teacher for young children who require a level of spontaneity every day. 

You’re itching to escape but your feet remain wooden against the pavement. You bend your head down and glare at your legs, willing them to move goddammit. You nearly find the will to finally bolt when you hear the door creak open. Your head whips up and you immediately seek out his face. You come eye to eye with a disheveled looking Hoseok hiding behind his door. His bleary, sunken eyes follow you warily as you take a step forward and blurt out his name, but before you can get another word in he addresses you.

“Look, I don’t need a pity party okay?” He pauses to slink further away from the already small opening through the door. “Especially from you. It was a mistake and I’m sorry that happened. I shouldn’t have told you like that and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That was a bad move.” 

You open your mouth and breathe in, ready to counter his allegation but he puts a hand up, an unspoken request to continue talking uninterrupted. “I just need a few more days to clear my mind. I can’t promise I’ll be okay soon but—”

You interrupt him anyway.

“I’m not saying no Hobi,” your voice is meek but you mentally pat yourself on the back for finally finding your voice.

“Wha—what? What did you… er, what do you mean?”

“I,” you pause to collect your thoughts but alas, when you have no plan your brain goes haywire and your mouth rambles away without your permission. “Well, first I want to apologize for forcing you to talk and for not taking you seriously. I really didn’t mean to disregard your feelings or make fun of you. You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all actually! It’s just that… no one’s ever—I mean, I didn’t think you saw me in that way and, well, I mean I always thought you were cute. You’re so handsome and dreamy and you’re funny and when you smile your eyes crinkle into little moons and your hearts a smile. I mean! Your smile, it makes a heart and I love it so much and I, um, but I didn't—I mean I don’t know why you even like me in the first place.” You laugh nervously, anxiety rising up inside you like bile at not being able to get the words out right.

A warm hand wraps around yours and you’re bewildered. He’s opened the door just big enough to let his hand out to hold yours. He’s the one hurting and yet he reaches out to comfort you when you showed the slightest unease. If anything, he should be lashing out at you right now. The warmth in his eyes tells you he has no intention of doing that. His thoughtfulness and care towards you, even after you hurt him, causes your heart to stutter and you fight on despite your nerves.

“I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m still not sure about my feelings but I’m willing to try? If you are too? I don’t really know how to do this, but—but I’m willing to explore whatever this could be with you. And I’m not saying you have to consider my feelings because that isn’t fair to you. You can absolutely tell me to fuck off and I won’t bother you again. Um, yeah I think—I think that’s it.”

God, you can’t wait to get home so you can punch your pillows for rambling so much! You stand there, staring at the side of the door so it looks like you’re looking at him but you’re really not. Your halfhearted smile slowly dwindles into a tight lipped smile the longer he stays silent and you’re wondering if now’s a good time to skedaddle.

“Okay, got it. I’m sorry Hoseok—” You turn your back to him, completely prepared to walk away with your tail tucked.

“Can I hug you?”

You whirl around and blink owlishly at him and stutter embarrassingly so. “What?”

“Can I hug you?”

“I mean, y-yeah? I guess?”

You’re dying internally over how your voice squeaks and inflects into a higher, unsure tone. He pushes the door open and pulls you by your hands into his arms, effectively drawing you away from your internal conflict. The feeling of his warmth around you sends your heart into an unfamiliar tangle of emotions. 

Hoseok has always been the best bear hugger. He believed hugs revealed what a person was like, and his preference for full hugs definitely conveyed his desire for physical contact with the people he loved. This hug, though, was different in the way that he held you so close to him, with his face nuzzled in your hair. You breathe in his scent that’s brought you comfort throughout the years and wrap your arms around his waist. You feel his arms tighten and pull you closer into him. You pray the stuttering heartbeat felt between the two of you isn’t only yours. 

After a long minute of silence—which somehow felt like one hour and one second all at once—he murmurs close to your ear, “If this is you giving me the okay, then I’m not gonna hold back anymore and I’m going to pursue you honestly. And… hopefully show you that my feelings for you are sincere.”

You let out an involuntary squeak much to your horror and hide your face into his chest, not trusting yourself to speak. You feel the shake of his shoulders as he laughs, the puff of breath tickling the back of your neck, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. He eventually pulls away from your hug but instead of letting go, his hands reach down to hold your own and he looks down at you with shining eyes. His face paints a tender gaze and the combination of how he smiles at you has you bashful so instead, you focus on the way his thumb rubs against yours. It only sends your heart into further overdrive.

“It’s late.” His voice is soft as he speaks to you. "Did you drive here?”

You shake your head no. Then you gasp and tilt your head in mild bewilderment.

Okay but why didn’t you drive? Are you dumb or are you dumb? You try to convince yourself you took the bus to save Mother Earth. Not because you were in such a hurry to see him that you forgot you have a car.

“Let me drive you home then,” he says and squeezes your hands.

“No, no it’s okay. I can get a taxi!”

He shakes his head in disapproval. “I can’t let you do that. It’s dark out now and I’d feel much better if I take you myself.”

“Hobi, I’ll be fine. I promise!” His brows furrow and you bring your arm up to flex your bicep. “See, look! I’m a strong girl.”

He’s entirely unimpressed and rolls his eyes. “Look, either you let me take you home or you’ll have to sleep over tonight. I don’t want you going home by yourself.”

“Eh?” Well, you certainly weren’t expecting that. You’re a deer in headlights thinking about a night alone with him. Nope. No way. Nu-uh. Vetoed. You won’t survive. Especially not after your almost-kind-of-but-not-really confession. 

You sigh in defeat and bow your head.

“Fiiine. You can take me home, I guess.”

He grins and while you’re pouting that he won this trivial argument, your heart is whistling a happy tune at seeing a smile grace his face once again. You wait outside while he grabs his wallet and keys. When he reemerges from inside his house, he gestures to his left.

“Ready to go?”

“Mhm!” You motion for him to lead the way and you follow after him.

The car ride back to your place is quiet, save for the low ambiance of his music playing on the stereo, but it’s a comfortable silence. You have more questions you want to ask. There’s still a lot you want to know, but you figure you’ve both had enough of a surprise tonight. You trust that there will be many opportunities in the near future to ask.

Once he’s parked his car outside your apartment, you turn to thank him and bid him goodnight only to be met with an empty seat. He’s already outside, waiting for you.

“Hobi you didn’t have to come out!” you protest as you exit the vehicle. “It’s cold!”

He only hums in response and walks with you to the front entrance. You’re half expecting a goodbye hug, considering he’s out here with you, and you’re surprised to feel your chest swirl in disappointment that he does neither of those. Instead, he takes a step away from you and the words that leave his mouth bring you a comfort you didn’t know you needed.

“We’ll take this slow, yeah? I don’t expect you to know how you feel by tomorrow or even next month. I’ve waited this long. I can wait a little longer.”

He strokes your cheek, lingering in front of you for a few more seconds. He leaves you with his touch etched onto your cheek. You fall asleep with the sole thought that you wouldn’t mind falling for Jung Hoseok.

The following morning feels like a daze and you’re on autopilot for the rest of the week. Before you know it, it’s your biweekly get-together with your gang. You’d gained a chaotic but solid group of friends in your college days. While the group has slowly decreased over the past two years after graduating, your bond is still as strong, even if you don’t meet as often as you used to.

It’s Hoseok’s turn to host this time and you’re freaking out. You recount every conversation you’ve had with him this past week at school. The both of you made a point to only talk about school related topics, very obviously ignoring the elephant in the room. The only thing that’s changed is the rate of daily text messages between the two of you. You now awaken to “good morning texts.” Throughout the day, you send each other “this reminded me of you” texts and end each night with “how was your day?” texts. Your heart is slowly becoming conditioned to jump any time his name appears on your phone screen. Today is no different. Your heart is racing at the thought of finally seeing Hoseok outside of work.

[Y&Y’s Minions Group Chat]

Taetae: aye bro heads up im bringing some juice w me

Taetae: yknow. for us nonalcoholics.

Hobibi: 👍

Yoonji(min’s Wife): weak ass bitch 🙄

Taetae: Shut up or im not bringing jimin with me 🥱

Min Suga: she just punched me cause i laughed man wtf

Taetae: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You: LOOOLLL it’s what you deserve

You: also tq for bringing juice taetae 🤧 idk if i can handle another of jimins mystery concoctions 😩

Taetae: that’s what you got hobi for right?

Hobibi: Exactly ;)

Min Suga: right. like he can hold his alcohol????

Hobibi: also can yall actually come on time so we can start our movie early?

Hobibi: dude i’ve gotten better at drinking tghank you very much

Yoonji(min’s Wife): sorry what im jared 19

Min Suga: she lies. shes putting makeup on for Park

[IMG_2831 delivered]

You: lmaaaoooo you got called out babe!!!

Yoonji(min’s Wife): fuck you min yoongi. find ur own ride there bitch <3

You snort reading through the messages. One day someone’s gonna fight and you have no doubt Yoonji will be one of the contenders. You’ve already resigned yourself to the role of her babysitter, knowing full well you’ll be tending to her every whim and command the day it happens as well as the following day of her recovery. Your phone pings again. 

It’s a separate text message from Hoseok.

Hobibi: i can’t wait to see you beautiful :)

You gasp audibly and your face heats up instantly. You’re grateful there’s no one around to hear you. What should you text back? You’re still unfamiliar with the Hobi who flirts. He is flirting, right? You fumble with your phone, heart racing a mile a minute, texting a (hopefully) flirty reply back when Yoonji’s winking selca takes over your screen. You drag your finger across the Accept button and her voice drawls out from your speaker.

“I’m heeerre!! Come outside so we can get wasted tonight!”

You snort and hang up without replying back to her. As soon as you plop into the passenger seat she thrusts a bottle of alcohol into your hands.

“Drink.”

Apparently, her idea of calming you down is with some pregame booze. 

It doesn’t help.

When you arrive at his apartment, you attach yourself to Yoonji’s back, but she was having none of that. Her shared telepathic powers with her equally chaotic twin brother draw them together as soon as they’re in the same room. You squeak at having been left behind and follow her, intent on hiding behind her the whole night. 

In hindsight, maybe you shouldn’t have blindly followed after your friend because the person accompanying Yoongi was none other than his best friend who also happened to be the man you were trying to avoid… which wouldn’t have worked anyway considering this was his home. Yoonji drags you out from behind her and you’re given no chance to pretend like you weren’t hiding. 

You shoot daggers into her boobs, praying that her boobs will swell and explode right in front of Jimin for outing you like this. You clear your throat and straighten out your shirt, then exchange greetings with the two men, feigning nonchalance. You don’t mean to but your eyes flicker down Hoseok’s figure. His hair looks freshly dried and curls around his face in the most beautiful way. A thin blue crew neck sweater hangs off his shoulders and hugs his torso just right, but when do his clothes not fit him well? It’s cut low enough to just tease the outline of his collarbones and it doesn’t help you with your already heightened nerves. You gulp and lower your gaze. For some godforsaken reason, he decided it was a good idea to roll the sleeves up and expose his forearms. You’re on your way past his hips when—

“You look beautiful tonight.”

Oh dear, did he catch you staring? 

His voice draws your gaze back to him and you find him looking right at you with a shy smile that flutters your heart. A compliment from him would usually have elicited a laugh and a “thank you Hobi.” Now, it evokes a stutter and a burning face. It’s a change the twins catch onto quickly. They exchange knowing glances which neither you nor Hoseok see, too busy staring at each other.

And then you’re colliding into each other.

“Oops!” Yoonji cackles and raises her glass to her brother.

"My bad. My hand slipped.” Yoongi raises his own and clinks his drink with hers. They take a sip and completely ignore the two frozen statues beside them.

“Hey, what do you say we go say hi to the soulmates?”

“Right on my sweetums. Let’s go find your loverboy.”

“You’re disgusting and also you’re wrong.”

Yoongi forcefully links arms with his sister and they shuffle away still bickering, meanwhile you and Hoseok are a blushing mess, locked in each other’s arms. His hands burn pressed against your lower back and you pull yourself away from him. You ignore the way your body screams at you for leaving his warmth. Your eyes flit around, looking at everything except for him. And then it lands on a sliver of skin peeking out behind his sweater that had risen up in this blunder.

Wait. This is bad. Don’t focus on that. 

Focus on your annoying best friend. Yeah… this is all her fault.

“Sorry Yoonji’s such a pain in the ass.”

“Understatement of the year.” He snorts and readjusts his sweater back down. You bite back a pitiful whine and suddenly you have no idea who you’ve become.

“They’re both menaces. Remind me never to have them in the same room again.“

You laugh at the truth in his words and then it’s back to a dead silence. One you’re not used to, especially not with him. He rubs the side of his arm and clears his throat.

"Um, well, you know, if being here makes you uncomfortable it’s okay to leave. My feelings won’t be hurt. Or I can just, I don’t know, not talk to you tonight? If that’s what you want?”

You wince at his offer.

“No!” you say immediately, wanting to remedy his misinterpretation of the nervous waves radiating off you. “I wanted to come! I… well, as nervous as I am, I wanted to see you?”

He lets out a dry laugh. “Oh, right. I could definitely tell from the way you hid behind Yoonji as soon as you got here.”

You force out a weak laugh at having been caught. Should you apologize or yeet yourself out of this situation? Thankfully, he makes the decision for you.

“Why don’t we go say hi to Tae and Jimin? Since you just got here.”

You swallow the apology that hangs on your tongue and nod slowly. You walk in silence to where the rest of the gang is gathered. Yoongi and Jimin are engrossed in a conversation about the latest EP released by their favorite duo RM and JK. Meanwhile Yoonji is making very no-so-subtle heart eyes at Jimin while Taehyung is chatting away about something she obviously has no interest in.

You’ve known Jimin for a few years and he’s only just started coming along this past year to your meetups with Taehyung, his childhood friend. He integrated so well into your little group and you all were quick to adopt him and dub him as the Resident Giggly for how beautiful his laughs were. His bubbling personality also somehow snatched the Resident Shady’s heart, despite her always denying it. You decide to do your friend a solid and save her from Taehyung’s ramblings. It’s definitely not to distract yourself from the Resident Smiles beside you.

“Hey Taetae!” you call out to the broad shouldered man who turns around, bright eyed and smiley. You notice a cup in his hand that you hope is just juice. He doesn’t drink often but when he does… Well, you certainly won’t want to be present.

“Y/N you’re here! Finally someone who will listen to me!” He pulls you into a side hug.

You laugh. “That’s ‘cause she’s too busy making goo goo eyes at—oof!”

Yoonji shoves Taehyung who still has his arms draped around your shoulder. He trips and sends you nearly toppling over as well. An arm wraps around your waist to steady you. Hoseok pulls you to his side, a safe distance away from the two rowdy ones.

“If you both know what’s good for you, you will shut up or else!” she hisses between her teeth. The blush growing on her cheeks tells you otherwise, though.

“I love you too, Yoonji poo!” Taehyung teases and pinches her cheeks.

She slaps his hands away, scowling. Then her attention redirects to you and you don’t like the way her eyes have turned alight. She nudges Taeyung and nods her head at you and Hoseok. He looks at the pair of you and his lips turn up into a sinister smirk.

“Well, well, well. Wouldya look at that?” You don’t like that both his and Yoonji’s smug faces are now focused on you. “So anyone wanna tell me when you two became a thing?”

You and Hoseok share a confused albeit nervous look. It’s then you realize how close you are to each other and you don’t hate the close proximity.

“You do realize you have your arm around her, right hyung?”

It’s not until he points it out that Hoseok realizes he never let go of you. The arm that rested around your hips tears away from your body and falls back limply to his side. Yoonji snorts at how fast he let you go and you try your best to hide your disappointment, calling upon all the times you’ve had to school your face of irritation at work.  You note that he doesn’t move away though, and his hand ghosts yours with every breath he takes.

“Don’t be mean Tae,” you scold him and push him away.

“It’s not like that. We’re not a couple.” Hoseok’s strong protest wavers at the last word and the way his ears redden don’t do well to support his claim. Your face flushes at his word choice.

“Who’s not a couple?” Jimin pops in, hands propped around Taehyung’s shoulder.

Taehyung eyes Yoonji and says with a smirk, “You and Yoo—mmph!”

Yoonji pounces on Taehyung and slaps a hand over his mouth. In typical Jimin fashion, he falls to his knees, laughing at their bizarre antics. As much as those two clashed, you knew they loved each other a ridiculous amount. You tug at Hoseok’s shirt sleeve and ask if he wants to get a drink.

He nods in agreement. “Yeah, let’s go before they strike again.”

The two of you share a laugh and head into the kitchen where two glass bowls are filled to the brim with dark liquids. The smell of alcohol reeks from the one nearest you and you nearly gag.

“Did Jimin make this?” you scowl and point accusingly at the punch bowl with a dark red liquid sparkling dangerously. You hope alcohol doesn’t spread through air particles because if it does, the other punch bowl is surely spiked by now.

“What did you expect?” He chuckles and hands you a glass cup.

You grab the ladle laying beside what you hope is the nonalcoholic drink and pour into your cup.

“Hey, so um… about earlier,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck, “er, sorry about that. I didn’t even know I was still... touching you.”

“Ah, no it’s okay. I didn’t know either actually.” You take in a breath and brace yourself for what you’re about to admit out loud, “To be honest, I kind of liked it.”

You hear him take in a sharp inhale after your confession and you wonder who’s blushing harder. Probably you. You hand the ladle to him and hold your breath when his fingers graze yours.

“I’ll keep that in mind next time.” He recovers quickly and winks at you. Your recovery rate is much slower and his wink only sets you back further. “So, um, I’ll let you catch up with everyone. I gotta go set up for the movie anyway. I’ll see you later, okay?”

He briefly reaches his hand to brush against your cheek, then leaves you alone, starstruck in the kitchen, to be the good host that he is. The rest of the night goes off without any other hitches. Plenty of laughter is shared between the lot of you. Jimin may have tried to spike the literal juice bowl a few times, but both Taehyung and Yoongi dragged him away each time. 

Throughout the night, you find yourself unconsciously scanning the room for Hoseok only to be met with a pair of brown eyes already looking at you. Each time you make eye contact, you both blush and look away at having been caught staring. Each time it happens, your friends turn around to stick their fingers in their open mouths and fake a gag.

You’re on popcorn duty as the evening begins to settle down for the “movie” part of movie night to finally start. You emerge from the kitchen with three large bowls with freshly popped and buttered popcorn. You sigh with resignation when you see only two available empty seats. One next to Hoseok on the love seat and one in between Yoonji and Jimin. You absolutely are not ready to be in such close proximity with Hoseok for the next two hours, but you also don’t want to cock block Yoonji. 

Although she’d never admit it to anyone, you knew she harbored a secret crush on Jimin. Anyone else outside your group and they wouldn’t know any better, but every one of you except the object of her affections knew those faux mean jabs and rosy cheeks were reserved for Jimin and Jimin only. You have a suspicion that he felt the same way about her with the way he always seemed to apparate in whatever room she’s in just to giggle at whatever she says or does. You can’t wait for the day they both stop toeing the line and confess to each other.

You pass out two of the three bowls of popcorn and peek over at Yoonji and Jimin. Jimin’s leaning over the empty seat, phone outstretched to show something to Yoonji. Their voices are hushed but you can see her lips curled into a dopey smile. Right, no cock blocking. Your gaze flickers to where Hoseok is seated. Okay girl, you got this. No time to be a chicken or Taehyung and Yoonji will never let you live it down.

Your leg collides with his when you sit down and your poor heart is once again fluttering. Should you let it stay there or should you move your leg? Why are you suddenly so self conscious about every move you make around him? The answer was obvious but let a girl stay in denial, please.

Unbeknownst to you, the man sitting next to you was going through his own inner turmoil. Should he act like his usual self? Should he be chill? Should he try to flirt? He wants to put his arm around you, but what if he came on too strong and scared you off? Before the both of you noticed, the film was already ten minutes in, popcorn in your hands untouched.

“Hey, Hobi! Y/N! If you two aren’t gonna eat your popcorn, pass it on!” Taehyung shouts over the movie with a mouth full of popcorn.

He pulls you out of your thoughts and you grimace at the way the light from the television makes the butter grease around his mouth shimmer in the dark room.

“You’re disgusting. Swallow your food before you speak, you heathen. And for the record, we aren’t sharing.”

Hoseok grabs the bowl from you, smushes it into his chest, and grabs a large handful shoving it into his mouth as if to prove a point. Several pieces of popcorn fall out of his hand back into the bowl. In his haste, he gets grease all over his outer mouth. Your mind dares to flash a dirty thought about the lubricant on his lips and you cup a hand over your mouth. 

Oh god. 

Your brain really just went there. 

You make a point to ignore the way your body heats up and instead reach over to wipe the oil off his mouth with a swipe of your thumb. He looks at you quizzically and when you lock eyes you both freeze. His eyes grow comically wide, his jaw locked mid chew.

Hold on. Did you just touch Hoseok’s mouth? With your thumb?

“Gross.” Taehyung grumbles at the sight of you and turns away to focus back on the movie.

You pull away quickly and shift in your seat. “S-sorry your mouth was dirty and, um, well, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Um… thank you.” He wipes off the remainder of what you miss with the back of his hand and offers you a sheepish smile. And with that, you fall into another silence, popcorn once again forgotten. 

Great. Back to square one.

By the time the end credits roll out, everyone is dead asleep save for you who remained wide awake thanks to your very imaginative and hyperactive brain. You decide to disregard the awkward cloud that hung over you and Hoseok tonight to figure out all your sleeping arrangements. It isn’t unusual for everyone to crash at the host’s place, drunk or sober, so it shouldn’t be too much trouble. You arch your back off the couch and stretch your tense body, letting out a soft moan as your muscles loosen up.

“Hey, Hobi?”

When you don’t get a response you look over to find him leaned against the couch with his eyes closed and lips scrunched in a small pout. His chest raises rhythmically and you feel bad for having to wake him. You’re nearly tempted to push back his hair to get a better look at his sleeping face. You scoot closer to him and shake him by the shoulder while softly calling his name. He jolts slightly and his eyes flutter open, scanning the room until they fall on you. Your breath hitches in your throat seeing his eyes slowly light up with recognition.

“Hobi,” you try again, voice quiet so as not to disturb him, still in a state of slumber. Your hand rests on his arm and you can’t find it in you to remove it.

He calls out your name, tenderly, carefully. You bite your lip to hide the way it wants to curl into a smile at the way he whispers your name. You don’t realize how close you’d gotten to him until his hand moves a mere inch to rest atop yours. You twist your hand up until your palms are touching. Your fingers instinctively curl around the slots between his own. You feel his fingers twitch but neither of you makes a move to actually embrace, instead reveling in the way both of you vibrate with warmth.

“Sorry I woke you. I just figured you wouldn’t appreciate having everyone drooling all over your couch and carpet tonight.”

He shifts in his seat so that he’s sitting upright and squints at the fallen figures scattered around the room. Then he shrugs.

“Who gives a fuck. Let them sleep there.”

You giggle at his remark and nod in understanding. It would only be too much work to try to move them and you definitely did not want to deal with a drunk and sleepy Yoongi.

“Why don’t you go sleep in your room then, and I’ll see you in the morning?” You take the popcorn bowl laying haphazardly on his lap and set it on the coffee table in front of you. 

“No, no. You go sleep there. I’ll sleep here tonight.”

You scoff. “You don’t need to be a gentleman, my dude. This is your house, it’s late, and we both need to sleep.”

“You’re exactly right, it's my house. My house, my rules. And I say that you’re sleeping on my bed tonight. I won’t let you take the couch.”

“Hoseok!”

“Do you want to share it with me then?”

Your words die in your mouth and you gape at him. He nods and says, “That’s what I thought.”

“Oh my god, you are insufferable. Fine, take me to your room. Wait.” Your ear begins to burn as soon as you blurt out that sentence, the insinuation not lost on you. Oh god, why did you have to say it like that? “I mean, uh, er, I’ll just go by myself.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. C’mon, I’ll take you.”

If he’s flustered by your request, he doesn’t show it. Instead he helps you up from the love seat and leads the way to his room. Despite having been to his house many times, you’d never actually seen his bedroom. There was never a need to go in there and now the first time you’re going in is after you find out he likes you. It’s a lot to process.

His room is a lot cleaner than you thought it’d be. The first thing to catch your eye is a shelf filled with a mixture of figurines and music albums. You appreciate that he hasn’t abandoned his likes and hobbies for the sake of appearing more mature. Beside it is a desk littered with books and paper scrap, presumably for work. In the left corner of his room rests his bed; a thin wool blanket lies unmade at one side.

“Sorry my room is so messy. I didn’t think anyone would be sleeping in here tonight,” he says as he rummages through his drawers.

“If you call this messy, you don’t wanna see my room,” you mutter.

He says nothing back until he finds what he’s looking for. He calls your name and tosses a large shirt and gym short your way.

“You can change into those. I think they’ll be comfier than what you have on right now.” He turns away and scratches the back of his neck. “Um, I’ll, uh, let you do your thing and, um, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thanks, Hobi.” You reach out for his hand and squeeze it. He’s blushing again. You like it when he blushes. Maybe you’ll have to initiate this more often. Holding his hand, that is.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, beautiful.” The giggle that escapes from your lips causes his heart to soar. He looks at you standing in the middle of his room and smiles. It’s something he’s only dreamt of and he knows it’ll be a portrait etched into his memory for a long while.

You wait until he’s closed the door behind him to soak in the feel of his room. This is the room where he sleeps in, where he changes in, where he… Nope. Not gonna go there. You strip off your clothes and discard them in a pile by the bed. The shirt he gave you is thankfully oversized and you decide to forgo the shorts. No one’s going to come in tonight and you loathe wearing pants to bed. After climbing into Hoseok’s bed, you’re hit all at once with his scent. Fuckfuckfuck. He smells good. Your brain seems to manage only that one thought. Again, it’s a lot to process.

Does he have a side of the bed he prefers to sleep on? Does he have a preference at all? Does he sleep fully clothed or… You gasp at yourself and shake your head. Bad thoughts. Unnecessary thoughts. But not unwelcome thoughts. You spend the next while thinking back on the unexpected turn of events that transpired the past two weeks.

Hoseok has been a continuous and pleasant presence by your side. What was once only brief greetings in passing easily evolved into a comfortable friendship. As easy as it was to befriend him, your relationship never became stagnant. There was always something new to learn about each other and it didn’t bore you to talk about topics you’d already previously discussed. It definitely helped that he was just as eager to talk with you. Now you know part of the reason why he seemed to like being around you so often. Not that you’re opposed to it.

Your mind wanders back to earlier this evening when his hand rested on your hip. It was such a foreign feeling but you liked it a lot more than you anticipated. If you think really hard you can still feel his touch. You lied when you told him you didn’t know. You felt everything the moment he put his hands on you, from the way his bicep flexed against your back to the way his fingers absently circled your clothed waist. Almost like it was meant to happen. You can’t stop the smile and warmth that spreads on your face and you roll around the bed, squealing into your hands.

“Bye teachers!” Your last student waves goodbye as they leave with their older sibling.

You both wave back and resume cleaning up the classroom after your last activity. There’s not much left to do thanks to the children helping to clean up before it was time for them to leave. You grab a disinfectant and wipe down the snack table while Hoseok neatens up the rows of desks and chairs.

You may be a bit distracted at the bright blue striped collar shirt that pulls taut at his chest whenever he pulls his arms back. He has at least three buttons undone, not that you’re counting. You’re wiping until the table suddenly disappears beneath your hand and you nearly fall on your face. You catch yourself just in time and move onto the next table, pretending as though nothing happened. He clearly saw you though, if his snickering in the corner is anything to go by.

“I’m about done, Hobi. How ‘bout you?” you ask him as you shove the last of your paperwork into your work bag.

“Yep! I’m good to go.”

He’s fidgeting by the door when you finally grab your bag and walk towards him. His eyes are downcast and worries at his lower lip, but you don’t press him about it. Instead, you nudge his shoulder and motion for him to leave with you.

When you exit the building, he asks, “Are you doing anything this weekend?”

A smile creeps up on your face. “No plans. What’s up?”

You already know the answer and your heart rate is picking up the pace from the anticipation. He curls his pinky finger around yours, eliciting a contented sigh from both of you. He hums thoughtfully and swings your hands around as the both of you walk to the parking lot at a leisurely pace. Neither of you seem to be wanting to leave this moment just yet.

“If you’re not busy, I’d like to take you on a date tomorrow.” His voice is firm and unwavering.

Your smile only broadens. “I think I’d like that a lot.” 

He nods shyly and his face beams at your reply.

“So I was thinking—and if you think it’s a lame idea please tell me!—but I was thinking, since you’ve recently started a rock collection, maybe we could… go to the river and find you some rocks? Maybe you can help me find some rocks too?”

You didn’t think your smile could grow any bigger. It’s been a few weeks since his accidental confession and you were truly moving at a snail’s pace. Not that you weren’t grateful for it. It’s really allowed for you to take the time to evaluate your friendship and your newfound feelings for the man walking beside you. You’re stealing glances at him more often these days, thoughts straying to how he’s doing. Your phone’s found a new activity, consistently vibrating with text notifications from him. He makes you happy.

You’d been waiting for him to ask you on a date. Yes, it’s the 21st century and no, you don’t need no man to make the first move, but you still wanted to wait until he initiated it. You’re almost surprised by his date suggestion, but you know Hoseok. The wonderful man has always been thoughtful and considerate of his friend’s passions and hobbies. You just didn’t expect him to be so in tune to your interests. Knowing he was aware about your current rock obsession causes an eruption of butterflies and giddiness to flutter in your chest.

“Oh, wow! You’re full of surprises, Hobi. Of course I’d love that! Maybe we can even have a little picnic afterwards.”

“I think I’d like that a lot,” he echoes your previous words. “So, it’s a date then?”

“It’s a date.”

He still hasn’t let go of your pinky finger by the time you reach your car which automatically unlocks from your near proximity. The day still has so many hours until sundown and already you’re buzzing with excitement for tomorrow. Neither of you have stopped smiling since you left the classroom and you decide to give him a surprise of your own.

“Close your eyes for me?”

He raises a brow at your request but complies and shuts his eyes. You wave your hands around his face to confirm they really are closed. Once you’re certain, you grab onto his shoulders for leverage and tiptoe upward to plant a kiss on his cheek. With a teasing smile, you rush into your car. He jolts, eyes shooting back open at the sound of your car door closing. Giggles escape your lips, watching him standing in a daze. You wonder if he’s as out of breath as you are, despite not having done anything cardio related.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Hobibi,” you say as you reach across the opening to poke his nose.

His lips curve into a lopsided grin and he moves to brush his lips against your finger. You shiver at the sensation. He starts walking backwards to his car and brings 2 fingers up to his forehead to salute you.

“See ya, beautiful. I’ll call you tonight?”

Your heart leaps at how hopeful he sounds. “I’ll be waiting, handsome!” 

You wait until he’s inside his car, wave goodbye one last time, and then drive off.

By the time he walks you to your apartment after your date, the moon has risen high in the sky and encompasses the both of you in a faint glimmer.

Today had been the perfect day to go to the river and you both spent hours crouching in the river bed, your faces nearly touching the water in order to see the rocks clearly. It had truly been a wonderful date and you came home with a good handful of small river rocks to add to your collection. 

You love that this wasn’t a conventional first date. It did, however, bring a different type of first date anxiety because of the fact that you were already friends. Sweet Hoseok didn’t let the nerves take control though. He’d pulled you into the cold water with him as soon as you got there, effectively washing away all worries. You shared plenty of laughs and water fights today. You’re still damp from spending so much time in the river and while the evening breeze should have sent goosebumps all throughout your exposed skin, you’re instead filled with a cozy warmth merely being in the warm and calming presence of Hoseok. 

“I had a great time today, Hobi. Thanks for taking me out to find cute rocks.”

“And thanks for making me wet,” you add for good measure. You snicker under your breath when he chokes on air.

“Oh my god. Um, you-you’re welcome. Your rocks are just as cute as you! Um, and thanks for packing us delicious food.”

It’s entirely too amusing seeing him flounder at your brazen declarations. You liked this shy Hobi. Actually, you’ve come to find you like a lot of different Hobis. The one who brings you tea every other morning at work, the one who walks you to your car even when you’re not teaching a class together, the one who has recently started calling you every night just to say goodnight, the one who blushes any time you compliment him, and most definitely your favorite: the one who has given you a beautiful friendship as the foundation of this newfound relationship with one another.

You have always loved how his smile seemed to shape into a heart. A beautiful physical display of the love he so eagerly and openly shares with the world. Here in this moment though, you know this smile was only for you and you are suddenly so eager to kiss those heart shaped lips. You sigh happily and reach up to smooth down Hoseok’s wind blown hair. You clasp your arms around his neck and bask in the stillness, soaking in the memory of his glowing face under the moonlight.

“Don’t forget to take care of your rocks, okay?”

“Yes, Ms. Y/N.”

“Gross. Don’t call me that,” you scrunch your nose in distaste and push him away. “You can go home.”

He laughs again and grabs your face to plant a kiss on your forehead. “I’m glad you had fun. Go rest up, okay?”

Okay, so maybe you were kidding when you pushed him away. He moves to let go but you grab onto his shirt and lick your lips in anticipation. Maybe you weren’t taking conventional steps and yes, there is that unspoken social rule not to kiss on the first date but you don’t care. 

Some time halfway into the day, you were swept in a sudden wave of acceptance—of your feelings for this man, of toeing the line between friends and potential lovers. For the remainder of the day you were plagued with thoughts about how kissable his lips are. Splashing him with water until he was soaking wet did not help your dilemma. You zone in on his lips and surely he picks up on your cues because he removes your hands from his shirt within seconds and keeps them clasped in his hold. Your eyes quickly shoot up to glower at him. He chuckles and swipes a thumb across your lips, his expression mirthful.

“Let’s take it slow, yeah?” An echo of what he had said that fateful night in front of his apartment.

You quietly grumble in understanding, knowing he was right not to rush into this, earning you a beautiful laugh to slip from his annoyingly beautiful mouth.

“I won’t say no to another kiss on the cheek though,” he teases.

You scoff at the audacity. “You’ve lost that right. Goodbye!”

He laughs at your outburst and learns forward for another kiss on the forehead. With a final wave goodbye and a heart ready to burst, you head inside. In hindsight, you should’ve known Hoseok’s a glutton for “taking it slow.”

Tonight you’re at his apartment to Netflix and chill. Literally.

It’s been several official dates—and many more unofficial ones in between—throughout the three months since your first date. Many cuddles, many accidental boners pressed against your thigh during said cuddles (leading to some awkward repositioning and pretending it never happened), and many kisses shared all around your faces save for your lips. You’re cuddled up against him tonight watching a rerun of Running Man when you’re hit with a pang of need that you’ve become intimately familiar with these days. 

You want to kiss him. Every time you get too close, though, he’d move away. You try not to let it get to you. You really do. But it’s hard not to feel the sting every time you’re rejected. You know he likes you and he knows you like him too. Amidst these thoughts, your mind drifts back to the day you finally confessed that you liked him too. You suppress a laugh thinking about how much of a blubbering mess he’d been. You just wish you knew why he didn’t seem to want to kiss you.

Thinking about all the times he’s rejected your advances completely kills your mood. You unconsciously pull away from him and scoot closer to the other side of the loveseat. Tears are pooling under your eyes and you’re blinking furiously, willing them to disappear. You don’t mean to suddenly feel this way and you certainly don’t want to ruin the good atmosphere tonight. 

Hoseok laughs and comments on something in the show but you can’t bring yourself to muster up fake enthusiasm. You feel something rub against you and you flinch until you realize it’s Hoseok pulling you back to his side. His face is masked with worry and he rubs your arms in a comforting motion.

“Hey there,” he murmurs. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head and adjust your posture on the couch. His eyes furrow at your lack of response and he pauses the show. He shifts to face you and holds your hands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You bite down on your lip, willing yourself not to cry. You’re usually not embarrassed to cry. In fact you’ve cried many times in front of Hoseok, but those were different times. You don’t want to scare him away. Of course, your body never does like to listen to you. Your chin quivers without your permission and it was like the dam broke. Hoseok’s frown only deepens and he immediately scoots closer, cupping your face in his hands. Your eyes flutter close, completely embarrassed that you’re crying in front of him.

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry.” You try to move away but his hands hold your face firmly in place, wiping at your tears with his thumbs.

“Baby, don’t apologize. If you really don’t wanna talk about it I’ll drop it. I will. But you know that I’ll make time to listen to you whenever you’re ready, right?”

You take in a deep, shaky breath. The pet name doesn’t help with your already frazzled emotions and you whisper, “No, it’s…we—I can talk.”

He doesn’t speak, instead waiting for you. You’re tempted to ask him to forget it and pretend you’re okay but you know if you never address this, you’ll continue to be stuck in this limbo and you don’t know how much longer you’d be able to handle it. Might as well be direct about it. Beating around the bush never did anyone any favors.

“Why don’t you want to kiss me?” Your voice cracks and comes out weaker than you meant it to. The following seconds are completely silent. You can’t even hear Hoseok breathe. His lack of reaction causes fresh tears to fall down your face.

“I’m sorry,” you both say.

“I-I thought we’re good now, you know? And, I don’t know, I figured that since we—”

“Wait. Wait, baby let me speak first. Please?”

You hiccup and nod your consent. His thumbs stroke both sides of your face, continuing to catch your tears. His brows are still wrinkled and you want nothing more than to smooth them out.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I didn’t realize it was hurting you this much and I’m sorry I didn’t notice… I know it’s selfish of me and it’s not a good enough excuse but to be honest I don’t think I’d be able to deal with it. And I’m gonna sound really corny but I just know if I kiss you once, I’m scared I may never want to stop and if… or when you decide you don’t want me anymore, um,” he pauses to lick his lips and laughs nervously. 

You flinch at his words. Was he still holding onto that? Your heart now aches for an entirely different reason. It hurts that he still thinks you’re unsure about your feelings for him. Has he been stressed about that all this time?

Before he can go on, you push him until he’s resting against the couch cushion. You swallow down your insecurities. It’s something you can come back to later. Feeling bad about him not wanting to kiss you holds little value when he’s been worried about this for god knows how long. His hands fall from your face and you maneuver yourself until you’re straddling him, giving him no chance to look away from you. It’s true that he liked you first and that he had longer to realize his feelings for you but you knew what you felt for him was genuine. You were in this for the long run and tonight you want to make it very clear to him.

“Hobi.” 

It’s your turn to hold his face in your hands. His eyes glisten with unshed tears and your heart lurches. “Do you still think that I don’t like you? That I don’t want you? I’m sorry I must not have been a very good girlf—” You stop yourself barely in time. You didn’t mean to let that slip. You’ve yet to establish your relationship with Hoseok, and you didn’t think it was a good time right now. Your blunder didn’t seem to be lost on him though, as you feel his heartbeat race against your chest and his grip that found purchase on your hips tightens.

“I may have been unsure in the beginning, and it may have been new to me at first but my feelings for you now… I love being your friend but you know what? I also love getting to know this other side of you. This side of you that only I get to see. I like when we pretend that we accidentally color code our clothes at work. I like it when our students and our stupid friends tease us. I like that you send me ugly cat memes and that I can send you stupid tweet screenshots. I like it when you come home with me to cook dinner for us. I like all of it.”

You pause to give him some time to let it sink in. He’s staring at you with so much longing and hope that it almost scares you, but you know you yearn for him just as much. If this goes well, maybe you can be scared together.

“I don’t want to go back to being just friends, Hobi. I want to keep exploring life with you.”

His palms are hot against your hips and his breathing becomes erratic. You lean into him until you’re certain he can feel your heart beating at the same frantic rate as his.

“Do you feel that?” He nods. “You do this to me. And... as for my daily problem down there,” you flush, looking down at where you’re connected below the waist. You look up to see him just as flustered, “is because of you too.”

“Loving you... falling in love with you is so easy.”

You feel his breath hitch at your implied declaration. And you realize your mistake too late. Was it too early to say it? Is it too late to take it back? He makes no move to say anything so you attempt to do damage control. In the form of distraction.

You lean even closer into him, pressed flush against his chest until your lips brush against his earlobe, knowing full well this was his weak spot, and say softly, “So there’s this guy I’m into. He’s really tall and handsome. He likes to drug himself up with caffeine every morning and will one hundred percent drop 200 bucks for limited edition shoes without a single thought. Can you guess who it is?” You don’t give him a chance to reply. “It’s you, Hobi. It’s you and only you and I really, really like you.”

Your confession is honest and true. What happens next is entirely unexpected and you would have fallen off his lap if not for his firm grip on you. He practically lunges at you and before you can process it his lips are moving roughly against yours. You had always thought your first kiss with Hoseok would be soft and slow, much like how he’s moved throughout your budding relationship, but no. He kisses you with a hunger you didn’t know he was capable of. He nips at your bottom lip, earning him a soft groan from you.

“What are you doing to me?” he murmurs into your lips.

You don’t respond. You can’t. Your brain is still trying to catch up and process what just happened.

You pull away from him and you blurt out dumbly, “Oh my god you’re kissing me.”

He laughs contentedly and nestles his face in the crook of your neck. He plants a faint kiss, causing you to shiver against him.

"You drove a hard bargain. I couldn’t not kiss you after that.” A quick peck on the lips. “And for the record, I really, really like you too.”

“Kiss me again, Hoseok.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Epilogue

The wind tries to steal your hat away but you hold onto it before it has a chance to fly off. It’s a breezy day today and your boyfriend had the absolutely brilliant idea to teach you how to longboard.

This brilliant idea ends up being him skating down steep hills at the park while you walk in the grass behind him. You had shouted at him several times to slow down or he’d end up hurting himself but of course in typical male fashion, he ignored you every time.

You’re in the middle of firing a comeback at Yoonji’s most recent text about how gross you and Hoseok have become now that you’re a couple when you hear a cry from your boyfriend several feet away. He’s going down a rather steep hill when the wind picks up sudden speed. Loose gravel breaks his smooth run and you watch in horror as he loses balance and tumbles onto the pavement. He hisses as his skin skids against the rocks.

“Hoseok!”

You stash your phone into your purse and run to him. As you get closer he schools his pained expression, in an attempt to hide any pain he may be feeling.

“I’m fine.” He attempts to reassure you before you can start fretting over him.

You immediately kneel down in front of him, ignoring him and grab his hands to assess the damage.

"You shouldn’t have gone so fast,” you scold as you rip out a few alcohol wipes from your bag. You’ve heard one too many horror stories about people injuring themselves falling off skateboards, so you’ve learned to keep several wipes and bandages handy when you found out Hoseok owned a few of his own. You carefully wipe down his scuffed palms and arms. You worry about his knees too but that’s something you’ll have to take care of at home.

He silently drinks in the image of you kneeling between his splayed legs, tending to his barely-there wounds. His heart may very well burst right there. You blow on his hands and flick your eyes up briefly to find his face mere inches from yours, looking at you with such a fond look.

“Ah, babe you’re too close to me,” you mumble shyly and lightly push him a few more inches away.

This only prompts him to lean in even closer until your foreheads knock together and his nose bumps with yours. It’s been several months since you had the “kiss talk” and made your relationship official. It’s been several months and yet your heart is still sent into a panic when you catch him staring. It’s barely your fault that you react physically when he makes you so nervous. You squeak and push his face away from you, causing him to fall over. His chuckles morph into a gruff wheeze as he falls. Embarrassment momentarily gone, you fuss over him again.

“Hobi! Oh no, I’m sorry!”

He lunges for you and pulls you down on top of him. Unfortunately for him, you didn’t expect him to grab at you and you brace your legs for your eventual fall.

“Oof! Oh god!” He exclaims in pain.

He recoils from you and grabs his crotch, rolling away into a fetus position. “Oh god, baby please be more gentle with me! I won’t be able to put my babies in you if you break me!”

You both freeze from his declaration. You, more so in shock, and he, in mortification. You’ve certainly had your fair share of heavy petting and make out sessions since that night at his place… Okay, fine so you can’t keep your hands off each other for even one day and you kiss every chance you get, but you have yet to go any farther than that with one another. Your sanity has been slowly dwindling the longer you go without knowing how he looks and feels. Hearing him basically say he wants to cum inside you in the near future has you perking up instantly. You watch as his eyes grow comically wide and he immediately sits up, pain forgotten.

“Oh shit shit shit. I said that out loud didn’t I? Oh god. I’m sorry I didn’t—I didn’t mean to—I mean it’s—I know we only just started dating and we haven’t even talked about sex yet and—I’m sorry. Oh my god.” He buries his head in his face, ready for the earth to swallow him whole.

You tug at his shirt and focus intensely on where your fingers are fumbling with his shirt and mumble barely loud enough, “I wouldn’t be opposed to it, you know?”

He swears he feels his dick twitch. Great. It’s not broken. Awesome.

When he doesn’t respond you continue on, “W—well not right now!" 

He snorts. "Obviously not. We’re in public, silly… Unless you’re into that? I mean it’s not my thing but I’m willing to try it if you want us to—” Your eyes widen at his bold declaration and slap a hand over his mouth to prevent him from finishing that sentence. You can’t lie though, the idea has you quivering on your knees.

“Hobi!” You hiss. “I meant not for a few months!”

His eyebrows raise and you’re quick to fix it. “I-I mean next year?”

You feel his lips curl into that awful smirk he fancies anytime he turns you into a blubbering mess. Then you feel something thick and wet against your palm.

“Ew! Hobi!” You pull your hand away from him. He leans into you, tongue still out, and licks your lips before you can shrink even further away. You don’t have the energy to protest again, too engrossed on how good his tongue feels.

“Don’t tempt me with the patience game because we both know I’d win.” He grins when you pout at him because you know he’s right. “I can’t wait to explore this new territory with you, baby.” 

You flush at his remark and stand up to create some distance to prevent yourself from doing something stupid.

“I need to find your skateboard,” you breathe out and run away from your cheeky boyfriend. 

“Longboard!” He corrects you and watches your figure trail away from him.

Hoseok muses how he got so lucky that you, the one he’d been pining after for years, actually reciprocates his feelings. He picks himself off the pavement to help you find his longboard. He thinks he’ll hang it up somewhere in his apartment later today as a commemoration of this lovely date. And he definitely can’t wait to get home and find out how long it’ll take for you to break underneath him.

a/n 2.0: HI ISN’T HOBI HOBI JUST A DREAM???? i hope you liked this fic 🥺 pls share your thoughts with me💗 my asks and dms are always open 💕 like.....always.... <<3333

(gif credit: @jengkook)

[belphegor1982]

Writer asks - 5, 10 [After the Sunset], 16, 17, 37.

THANK YOU 💜💜💜

5. Do you listen to music when writing?

I used to, but only instrumentals or soundtracks; for a while my go-to soundtracks to write to were The Sting, The Brothers Bloom, and Firefly. It depends on the mood/universe. For instance, the soundtrack to Chicken Run works really well for a lot of Hogan’s Heroes fic writing, and I did most of the second run on Fairy Tales and Hokum on Murray Gold’s Doctor Who music. Right now, though, what I mostly write to is either white noise (this YT video is perfect) or a channel of “music & ambiance” videos from films. My favourites are Chicken Run, The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. It’s very lowkey, very soothing and without any bumps, so it doesn’t take me out of the headspace I need to write. Perfect.

10. What is the line you’re proudest of from After the Sunset?

It’s a toss-up between narration and dialogue:

The world had been turned on its head, almost ended, and now it was lying in front of her anew, like the banks of the Nile after the flood waters receded.

and

“Oh, good. For a moment there I thought we were not stuck in some rubbish romance novel after all. Except you –” this was said with a jerk of his chin towards Evelyn “– get to ride into the sunset with your dashing adventurer while I have to content myself with having my shirt ripped off and getting slathered in honey. Rather think I got short-changed, to tell the truth.” 

:D

16. What fanfic tropes do you avoid writing for?

“Bury your gays”. Won’t touch that one with a ten-foot pole. And I absolutely despise love triangles (which is why any hint at one will inevitably turn into an OT3 in my mind.)

17. What fanfic tropes do you gravitate to writing for?

Family/found family feels, heroes and antagonists coming together against a bigger threat, vitriolic best buds being ride or die for each other, as little as possible internal conflict in romance...

37. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

I wouldn’t know how to go about it concretely, but why not? Might be fun! But it’d take time and I’d be afraid to flake out before the end 😬

[jiaraendgame]

Troubled Waters - Teaser

Rafe x Reader Series (+A centric amount of Pogue friendship)

Series Summary: It was their last summer together in the Outer Banks. Nothing was going to stop the rambunctious Pogues from living their best lives, spending their final days as the close-knit family that they created all those years ago. Soon they would go their separate ways off to new worlds away from the island and into their college years, but not before one final adventure. Just when you think life couldn’t get any better, a storm with brown hair and blue eyes shifts the balance into uncharted territory. All the while an old threat from the past comes prying its way back into your life. You can try to navigate the storm, but there will be troubled waters ahead.

A/N: Here is a teaser to my first ever series I will be posting on here! While we were talking one day, my absolute best friend in the entire world @john-benderr mentioned she had a concept idea and proceeded to be the most supportive badass bitch ever and requested me to write. With her and me collaborating and ironing out the details, we landed on this wild ride of a story I will be creating! So strap in, and I hope you all enjoy it! The teaser here is written in the third person, as that is my preferred writing POV. However, the series itself will be written in the classic reader POV. This is a Rafe x Reader fic, but the Pogues will be playing central roles as well! Also, I feel it’s fair to mention Rafe in this is just a typical asshole Kook. No hard drugs and no psychotic murderer traits, haha! I am so beyond excited and motivated for this series. I can not wait to share this with you all. I also made one of those Taglist forms, so if you are interested in this series or anything I create, please feel free to add yourself! On that note, I love you all, and I hope you are ready for this project. PS I know the series summary is not excellent, but I promise it will be fun! Get prepared for angst, fluff, adventures, chaos, and everything in between! Also this was my first time making a moodboard and I’m lowkey addicted.

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As the calm waves lap at her toes crashing and dispersing into the dock's wooden pillars, her mind wanders. Not even the cool night air and the starry sky could chase away the overwhelming sensations that swallow her heart and soul. This was supposed to be the best summer of her life, and now the memories hauntingly creep into her bones. They settled in and called her home quickly festering and growing more lethal by each passing thought. Waves of disbelief consume her entire being. How the fuck did this happen?

The temptation to slip down into the waves below antagonized her. Perhaps if she takes the plunge, Poseidon's icy grip would drag her down and swallow her up faster than the drowning in her head. None of this was supposed to happen.

She wasn’t supposed to become friends with, let alone fall for the Kook prince with the devilish grin and taunting blue eyes. But he showed her a side of him she never knew existed. A side that brought out something in her that she never expected to see or feel ever in her lifetime.

His voice was like a song in the breeze; it melodically flowed through the air that surrounded her. Captivating and full of unknown inflections tempting her like an unseen force. Everything about him was tantalizing, and what terrified her at first eventually grew to comfort her. A bond, a connection that felt so true it brought a sweetness to the salty sea that encompassed the island.

Their love was a balancing act, and she crossed the tightrope. One wrong move and she would plummet, and that is precisely what happened. Would the Pogues forgive her? Could she forgive herself? Or would her past finally wrap its hands around her throat, ending this game of uncertainty? So many regrets and questions swam through her head. She was drowning in her sea of thoughts.

The exhaustion was suffocating, it wrapped and tangled its tendrils around every fiber of her being. She knew it couldn’t last forever, that eventually, the waves would burst through to the shore destruction following its impact. She couldn’t help it though, much like the ocean, her decisions became dangerous. The calm waters had let her wade into its chilling serenity. The insatiable allure pulled her into depths unknown, but without hesitation, a shift in the weather and a hauntingly shadowed land beneath the surface had swiftly caught her in the undertow with no means of escape.

It consumed her so fast, and with another swift blow surely, her lungs would fill with water ending her story just as quickly as it started. As if on cue, another wave comes barreling toward her in the form of a familiar voice. The sound broke the silent air thrashing around her like a ricocheting bullet. The voice engulfed her once scattered thoughts, empty engagement taking over. She freezes in place, not daring to move a muscle for the fear had settled in. She was alone. No one was here to rescue her this time.

“Y/N?”

Her breath hitches in her throat, swallowing back the sharp gasp that teased to escape her trembling lips. There were only two ways these next moments could go, and by proper calculations, neither of them in the girl’s favor.

Throughout her summer, she was like a boat at sea. Fighting the tides unusual ebb and flow, adjusting the sails, and now bracing for collision as the vicious tides and directionless winds rip her from the helm. She swam in the depths of her head, searching for some sign of rescue, alas there was no lighthouse to guide her, it was up to her heart and her heart alone to be the compass to navigate her restless soul back home.

Caught in a hurricane, she closes her eyes preparing to face the eye of her storm.

Chapter One - The Pogue Promise (COMING SOON)

Tagging a few mutuals who hopefully don’t hate me and so this teaser doesn’t entirely flop: @john-benderr @sguymon21 @northcarolinanative @bricksatanakinswindow @ptersparkers @rudyypankow @void-maybank @mermaidssonshipss @outerbongs @hmspxgue @pit-zuh @starlightstarkey @drewswannabegirl @maybankiara @jjbanks @ad-infinitums @scandalousfemale @outrebanx @outerbankslut @diverdcwn @futuretaxcheat @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @drewsephsmiles @softstarkey @moldisgoodforyou @jellyfishbeansontoast @rudysbay @heliopvth @poguelive @rafecameron Apologies cause I know not everyone likes Rafe, but I honestly don’t remember who does and doesn’t. Just let me know and I can remove you from this post!

Add yourself to my Taglist? 

(For this series and other works, just check the boxed of what you want to be included in.)

[trashytoastboi]

Hello hello!! May I ask you the numbers 7, 15, 29, and 27??

Hiya!🍀 of course!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“While you're brooding over there, I feel it needs to be addressed. I personally don't care that you're a villain nor am I going through the effort to snitch on you. So you don't need to kill me in my sleep or something like that” {Name} says as they take a sip from their coffee. Dabi cannot contain his laughter at their bold statement “Funny you'd think I'd wait until you're asleep” lifting his hands as blue flames gracefully dance on his fingers. “Fair point, but toasted marshmallow was not on my list of preferred ways to go out, at least push me down the stairs or something.”

🍞 I wouldn't say it's my absolute favourite, but it is one of my favourites. (As I have mentioned, singular favourites is just a completely foreign concept to me) Mostly because there is a lot of sarcasm in the conversation aside from lowkey dark humour and an establishing of first impressions for characters who are otherwise complete strangers. Basically I like the entire dynamic of this singular interaction.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

🍞 I honestly would choose this one: Modern AU! x Mafia AU! Mafia Boss! Law x F! Spy – Never Play the King of Hearts

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

🍞So there is one I read a while back (Honestly I don't remember how long) and I forgot to save it, or even write down the name. I remember the plot being along the lines of Killer and his partner, at one point his partner's old captain returns (Partner was a part of another pirate crew previously) and they were romantically involved. Ends with partner leaving Killer . * Sad noises * Would be cool to write a sequel or prequel to that to be honest.

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

🍞 I have never done one before but it seems really awesome to be honest!! (Due to no experience with collaborations I don't really have a feel about them as of yet)

[reyescarlos]

Oki so I have lost track of what you have been asked for the alphabet asks, so my love, if you would like to pick 3 you haven’t been asked yet but want answer - that would be delightful 💖

Okay, but your mind though. I love how you went about this and in the future, I will absolutely be doing this for whenever someone gets multiple asks asdfghjkl

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

Primarily with the plot because from there, it lets me know what the character’s main starting point and emotion will be. Right now, I just write two ships so if I’m listening to a song, automatically my brain just knows it’ll be between these four guys. So I just try to pull a storyline out of a song and whichever ship it vibes more towards, then I’ll zero in on which couple to feature and if it’ll be dual narrative or single-person

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I’ve only ever done one fic collaboration and it went PERFECTLY with @bilbobagglns I would be more than happy to write with Pauline or anyone else in the future. I had a lot of fun thinking up the plot together and it was made all the more special since it was written for @starlightbuck   plus it was hilarious being in a google doc with someone else and lowkey getting to spy on their approach to writing. I love hearing about people’s processes but actually being able to see it in real time was pretty neat. Before this, my only other experience with writing with someone was back in my rp days in paras but this was cool and I'd for sure be open to it again!

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

All of them in their own way. Whoever’s POV I’m tackling, I am 110% going to hit them right in the heart and make them struggle with whatever inner turmoil they’ve got going on until the last part of the story. But I really do enjoy it most with Carlos and Buck, idk why 

[randomoranges]

is it lame to do art or write fics for a character’s “birthday”? prolly. do i care? nah. Also guess the song referenced-ish in the title!

Party [For Three]

January 9th 2021

It would be silly to say that this plan had been in motion since late November, but the truth of the matter is that the plan had, in fact, been in motion, since the end of the month of November. On a day that Edward had been out on errands, Calvin had cornered Étienne between two classes to ask him whether or not he had given any thoughts to Edward’s birthday. Étienne had blinked, confused, and had reminded Calvin that Edward’s birthday was over a month away – they had time, but that yes, he had given it some thought in the vague sense that he was aware that Edward’s birthday was coming up, eventually, and that something should be done about it.

 Calvin had laughed in his face, patted him on the shoulder, and had then told him that he would e-mail him the Docs with his current brainstorming.

 Étienne had done the mistake of assuming that Calvin was kidding, but sure enough, ten minutes later, he had received a rather elaborate document titled “Brainstorm for Deadward’s Birthday – COVID LOCKDOWN EDITION 2021.”

 Étienne had – not been surprised.

 Therefore, he’d read the document and through it, the both of them had discreetly figured out what to do for their respective boyfriend for his birthday.

 Now, Edward never really bothered with his birthday. It was too close after the holidays and everyone was always tired from over-indulging and over-spending. It often went unnoticed and the post-holiday depression settled in on people. There wasn’t really anything to look forward to or to keep the moral up and so, Edward never really went out of his way, unlike some people he knew, to create a big bash or make a big deal of it. It was just another day, after all, and in his case, birthdays were highly insignificant in the grand scheme of things. On top of that, this year was even less than stellar, considering the current pandemic and the fact that nearly everything was shut down.

 Therefore, he planned to eat the, hopefully, last of the leftovers, sleep, spend a quiet day, do some cleaning and maybe watch a movie. Keep it lowkey and such.

 Still, he had to admit that the fact that both Calvin and Étienne were in town with him was rather nice. That was gift and indulgence enough. He’d had birthdays with Calvin, especially since they’d started dating, and Calvin always did do something special for him, which was nice, even if it always made him flustered. However, this would be the first time, in probably ever, that Étienne was here for his birthday – that they could celebrate it together. (He was partially to blame for that. He had never visited Étienne beyond a few days post New Year’s and he had shut down Étienne’s suggestion one year of coming back with him to spend the week until his birthday under the excuse of work and such. In his defence, he’d always assumed that Étienne didn’t want to come over or be with him for his birthday. Which, retrospectively was really stupid, considering the fact that Étienne always did something for him on their last day together for his birthday and then called him on the day of. Sometimes, he wondered if the drugs hadn’t actually affected his brain capacities at times.)

 What he failed to take into consideration, (or maybe he had and he was just playing along) was that both Calvin and Étienne would not stand for that and that they had, over the past month, developed an elaborate and full plan for his birthday. Cake included.

 Seeing as the possibility of activities was limited, Calvin and Étienne had agreed that they would focus on what they could do to make the day special. All chores and other such tasks were not to be done by Edward, regardless of what he said, no matter what, no questions asked. The cake would be delivered during the day by Edward’s favourite local bakery. They’d thought of baking something together, but with Edward around all the time, it would have been hard to hide the cake or the evidence. Even if they waited for him to be out of the house, Edward would most likely smell the cake upon his return and even if they hid the cake and made extra batter to say they had made cupcakes for fun, the risk of Edward finding the place where they would have hid the cake was too high. (Calvin had thought of all possible scenarios and Étienne had been surprisingly good into figuring out how Edward could find out.)

 Obviously, they could have made this easier on themselves by telling Edward that they wanted to plan something for him, but Calvin and Étienne had agreed that making this a “surprise” would be better and way more cooler. Plus, Edward would shoot the idea down and tell them both that he didn’t need anything special or something equally lame and boring and old man like.

 Hence, they kept to their secret document and tried to keep a low profile.

 “Y’know, the whole idea of birthday breakfast was for everything to be ready on time and for the food to be hot. How long does it take to make your parfaits? At this rate the French toast will be cold and the bacon will have coagulated!” Calvin complained for what felt like the seventy-third time since the sun had risen.

 “You can’t just rush art, McCall. Isn’t there some fancy “keep warm” option on that monster? It’s not my fault you decided to get up earlier still to get a head start. I told you to wake me up if I was still asleep!” Étienne tried to calmly retort as he added the delicate chocolate shavings on top of the parfait he was currently trying to finish.

 “Yeah, well, how the frig was I s’posed to know that your no-bake-super-fast-and-easy-parfaits would take literal hours to make?!” Calvin asked as he leaned over Étienne’s shoulder to observe his handy work.

 “I’ve been in this kitchen for less than twenty minutes. You’re the one who hogged the entire counter.” Étienne added as he nudged Calvin away so that he could reach over for the raspberries.

 “You said you didn’t need the kitchen!” Calvin whined.

 “Where the hell did you want me to assemble the parfaits; space?”

 “Well, that would’ve been interesting to see.”

 Étienne sighed and rolled his eyes, “Anyways, I’m done.”

 Their carefully constructed plan was to make breakfast for Edward. They’d established a menu, had gone over it more than once, and had had to find creative ways to put some of the ingredients on the grocery list without raising any questions. (Eventually, Calvin had gone out to get some of the things himself and had just hoped that Edward wouldn’t find them.) Their plan was also to make dinner for Edward but their collaboration wasn’t at its best. Still, they supposed it was the thought that counted and so long as the food was good and Edward liked it, they’d count it as a victory.

 The rest of the plan for the day could be summarised as “spend time with Edward” and “make sure he has a nice time” and “spoil him” and “give him gifts” and “make sure he doesn’t wash the dishes or do any laundry” and “do whatever it is he wants to do so long as it’s not a chore.”

 The stakes weren’t exactly very high, but considering the current situation, it was a pretty good plan.

 The bottom line was that they both wanted to do something nice for Edward and spend the day with him.

 The only problem that they hadn’t taken into consideration was the fact that their little discussion could have potentially woken up the one person they were trying to let sleep in for as long as humanly possible.

 “Ahem.”

 They both stopped their bickering and slowly turned in time towards the sound of the interruption, only to find Edward, sleep rumpled and small smirk in place, standing at the entrance of the kitchen, with his arms crossed over his chest.

 They blinked and looked at one another, trying to figure out how to solve this before their perfectly crafted plan fell to ashes and to smithereens.

 “Good morning, gentlemen, I hope you both slept well. I slept fine and I must say, that for as much as I did enjoy having a few hours to myself to hog the bed in any which way I wanted, I was a little bit disappointed to wake up and find it completely empty.”

 Calvin opened his mouth to say something, but Edward raised his hand to stop him, “I had been looking forward to at least one birthday morning cuddle on the day of my actual birthday, but even Mercury had abandoned her post. So, do enlighten me, what’s going on?” He asked with a kind smile that both Calvin and Étienne knew was entirely fake.

 Without missing a beat, the other two nodded and then Étienne stepped forward, “This is all a dreeeeeaaaaaammmmm,” He started, changing his voice and flailing his arms as if he were a ghost or something of the sorts.

 Calvin mimicked Étienne and did the same, “You are sleep waaaalkiiiiiiinnnnng. You have seen noooooothinggggggg.” He added, his voice low.

 Edward tried hit utmost best not to laugh at their antics.

 “Go back to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.” They finished off in unison as they walked towards Edward to shoo him back to the bedroom.

 “All right, all right, I’m going, I’m going. No need to be so rude, hallucinations. I’m gone.”

 Calvin and Étienne made sure that Edward was back in the bedroom, before they returned to the kitchen and slumped against the counter.

 “Well, that was close.” Étienne said as he stole a grape off the platter he’d been assembling earlier.

 “Think he actually fell for it?” Calvin asked him. They gave each other a look and then laughed, potentially knowing better. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.”

 They made sure to set everything on the table so that it was picture perfect, with every last detail accounted for, right down to the carefully folded napkins and the utensils placed the “proper way,” before going back to the bedroom to join Edward.

 --

 When Edward “came to”, it was to find Mercury using his chest as her personal pillow, Étienne with his legs sprawled over his own and Calvin sitting by his head, seemingly engrossed in his phone. Mercury was the first to notice that he was “awake” and proceeded to lick his face, despite his feeble attempts to gently nudge her away.

 “Good morning to you, sleeping beauty,” Calvin teased as he levelled with him to peck his other cheek.

 “So nice of you to join us,” Étienne piped in, grinning, as he slung an arm over Edward’s chest.

 Edward shook his head, fond and amused, and did his best to try to sit up, what with everyone seemingly draped over him in some way.

 “We have it on good authority that today is a special day, actually,” Étienne went on, his grin only growing.

 Edward played along and nodded.

 “Yeah, it’s Saturday! So we made brunch! Come with us!” Calvin added, before bounding off the bed.

 Before Edward had fully wrapped his mind around what was going on, he found himself once more in an empty bed, resigned himself to getting out of it, and followed them to the kitchen, he presumed.

 Edward padded after them and expected to find the table set with brunch, but he had failed to account for the fact that both Calvin and Étienne would most likely go all out for his birthday, again.

 “Surprise!” They shouted once he’d stepped in.

 Instead, he found the table covered with one of the nicer tablecloths. There was a painted banner that hung from the wall that had not been there earlier, the spread on the table was gorgeous and looked delicious, there were fresh flowers in the center of the table and there were even presents carefully stacked up together at the spot where he always sat.

 He was touched, moved, really.

 “Happy birthday!” Calvin said as he walked over to him to give him a hug he accepted without thought.

 “We love you,” Étienne added as he walked over as well and then added himself to the hug.

 Edward couldn’t quite form a coherent sentence, so instead he let both Calvin and Étienne shower him with hugs and attention for the time being.

 He would get his revenge, eventually – after they ate.

 It would be a shame to waste such a feast.

 FIN

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

9 and 11 for Oh my Queen, we are here again and the deal's done please

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Oh my Queen, we are here again: kind of? The original idea belongs to @nightphans; I only came upon writing a small bit of it when she was kind enough to share her thoughts with me. This fic ended up being what I wanted very badly to see out of everything she shared with me; when she broke it down for me, it was spinning out to be a multi-chaptered fic with build-up and everything, detailing Kevin’s deterioration (the choking incident was never truly addressed; no closure), his estrangement with every team member ever (except for Aaron; Aaron’s the closest thing he’s got to a friend there), his actual suicide attempt, his call to Jean (where he tells him everything) and the consequent panic sequence. Jean obvs isn’t on campus so he goes around calling every Fox ever to see if anyone can save Kevin but nobody is.

Except for Aaron. (Seriously, writing fanon has turned Aaron from one of my most disliked characters into my favorite one, what the Actual Hael.)

Fast forward, Aaron makes it in time, Kevin gets carted into ER, the Foxes congregate, Jean storms the campus with a vengeance, etc, etc. The aftermath is where this fic hits; both me and @nightphans didn’t want to do a multi-chaptered fic because uh, commitment? Motivation? Huh????? 

I wasn’t planning on writing this, actually. But predictably enough I Thought about it and jotted some stuff down.......shared it with her.............and she wrote back, added some dialogue in to intensify Jean’s gutting of the Team’s treatment of Kevin......we had some more back and forths (Copy of Copy of Copy of)...............I rewrote some more.........and viola. 

The Deal’s Done: yes! In my first draft everything was the same up till the hallway convo between Allison and Kevin, where Allison actually gave him a hug, and Kevin lowkey loses it and cries. Then it just gets softer and softer from there and ultimately I had to scrap it when my beta reader let me know how OOC it sounded, esp since Allison has no motivation to really be that vulnerable with Kevin, nor Kevin she. Also, it didn’t make sense that Kevin would open up so easily after being literally assaulted by the person he trusted most. Basically: I was outed on my sheer wishful thinking; nobody is really on Kevin’s side here, my beta reader reminded me. The choking is the prompting, the barest of motivations; the rest has to be strung along. 

(Also, I should’ve known how out of character it was when at no point in the draft was Kevin drunk. Not even a little bit.)

So I rewrote it almost entirely except for the beginning bits! I capitalized on the estranged relationships between Kevin and the rest of the team, his natural distrust, his doom and gloom, his alcoholism, his very fragile attempt at appearing Ok, and BreakdownsTM. You already know this part; you’ve read it! 

11: What do you like best about this fic? 

Oh my Queen: Kevin being able to get away from it all. And Jean being his pillar and an absolute Unit. The fuck. Collaborating with @nightphans was a delight too!! She’s so big-brained, I really liked picking at her ideas. 

The Deal’s Done: Kevin breaking down. The people around Kevin subtly, slowly but surely realizing what has been done to him. 

[yuthoe]

PENTAGON Yuto x Ballroom Dancing

Hello bebs! ‘Tis time again for another installment of PTG BALLROOM DANCERS. I would’ve posted this on the 30th because I needed to wind down after watching RtK (which, btw, our boys did so well in!). If you guys wanna scream with me about it, my asks are always open!

Making these HCs are my way of getting out of writer’s block, because to me it’s essentially writing a fic without the commitment of flowing prose. Helps me relax and find my way through the thicket. (Also I needed to weeb out somehow and Yuto is the perfect candidate. If you know where the song is from, you have a special place in my heart.)

---

Yuto is a Standard dancer with some Latin training. He’s the “silent but deadly” type, in the sense that he can probably do whatever you want him to do, no matter how hard it is. If it’s on a higher difficulty level, he’ll dance shadow (dancing in form without a partner) after hours until he finally gets it. He’s an extremely hard worker and you appreciate that about him a lot.

Can dance other styles if he puts his mind to it, and with enough hours of practice. He’s comfortable where he is, but he won’t say no to doing a cha-cha-cha or hip hop collab with his friends. He likes exploring the world outside of his box and applies the lessons he learned there into his repertoire.

Really loves conditioning days. He’s a gym buff himself, but he mostly focuses on his arms, so he’s always in pain after leg day. But eh, if that’s what it takes to have a good dancing body, then he’ll gladly take it. He takes conditioning days seriously because he knows it’s good for him.

Strong lead. Knows when to push you and when to pull back to give the best performance, but you know he gives every run his 100%. You’ve known each other since middle school, when you signed up for ballroom classes, and you’ve been partnered for a total of seven years now, so you know each other’s ticks.

Very affectionate. Hugs everyone that comes in to train if he knows them well, but bows a lot or shakes hands with people he’s only just met. At first glance Yuto seems scary because he’s tall and he’s not very talkative, but once people get closer to him, he loosens up and will laugh at almost everything. (Except during training, of course.) After every good run of choreography, no matter how sweaty you two are, he will try to hug you, and you end up playing tag and getting even sweatier.

Has the basic SNS accounts (IG, Twitter, FB), but rarely posts, like Hui. His followers suffer weeks and weeks of no updates until he decides to upload BTS shots of one of his magazine shoot outfits out of the blue, and then the actual magazine promotion in the next post.

Doesn’t really post many video clips; there’s like one NG take of a tango on his IG where he accidentally steps on your skirt and you guys tumble to the floor. But other than that one, he leaves the choreography videos to your SNS.

Needless to say, his YouTube is mostly empty as well. He has a SoundCloud, though, and he sometimes posts there. Not many people know about it because he doesn’t really advertise it. You do your best to hype up his songs, though.

Posts pictures of you and your friends mostly, and one or two couple selfies. Those always get the most interactions.

Gets invited to be in dance programs as a pro, but declines the offers; he knows he’s not ready for that type of pressure, and is comfortable with admitting it. In the meantime he hones his talent further by doing collaborations with friends and competing, or making choreography with you or for his friends for fun.

You’re a firm believer that he’s way better than he gives himself credit, and you tell him so all the time.

Has a side job as a model because he’s tall and has nice and sharp features. Yuto is pretty lowkey about it, though, and only really posts about them when he absolutely loved working on the shoot.

Really loves black. You rarely see him in any other color, but the inside of your closet is also monochrome, so you can’t really complain. Besides, he looks really good in black and it suits him very well. That said, his competition costumes are usually black on black, or a black suit with another cool/neutral tone shirt. Which is good because it’s easier to match your costume with his.

Lowkey loves the Viennese waltz. He can’t really pinpoint why, but it’s very calming to him; for him it’s like he’s flowing with the water, effortless but unstoppable. He’s just so happy and at peace when he dances it, and he always has such an angelic smile pointed at you, which makes you smile, too.

And it might seem on-brand, but he loves the tango, too. The strength and endurance it takes to dance so low and heavy, yet still so sharp and powerful is fun to him. The tango is like, another form of exercise, for legs, core, and arms. Most of the time you get whipped and steered everywhere from the sheer speed of his movements.

Is friends with Hongseok and Yeo One; they met at Blackpool one year and were pleasantly surprised to find they had mutual friends. They got each other’s contact numbers and planned a gym day when they got back to Korea. Yuto doesn’t include their faces (only his hand holding a dumbbell or a mirror selfie in a locker room) when he posts about gym day, but everyone who follows all three of them already knows they’re buddies.

Loves watching anime, mostly shounen type, but one of his friends from high school sent him this music clip and he instantly wanted to make choreography for it. (He also asked what anime it’s from, binged it in a day, and you both cried a lot when it finished.)

You both decided to use simple choreography for it and make it really fun. A couple hours and four aching arms later, and you were talking about costumes. You know Yuto has a white dress shirt and tie in his closet somewhere, so you spend the rest of the night looking for them.

The next day you go to the park with a friend and sacrifice your old dance shoes to the grass gods. It takes you the better part of the day to film the 1:30 track because you both kept slipping on the grass and sinking into the dirt, but you got a few good one-takes by the end to choose from.

The video is uploaded onto both your YouTube accounts, and it trends across the anime’s following. You two didn’t really notice the attention it got because you mute your notifications usually, and it was only when Wooseok messaged Yuto about it that he realized the video got a number of likes.

Watched Welcome to the Ballroom and has a lot of feelings about it, but complained how there isn’t much actual dancing in it, which he would have loved because he could have tried copying them with you. He downloaded the opening theme and added it to his workout playlist, though.